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#writing solutions
gardenofnoah · 1 year
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“you’re going to hurt yourself like that, my love.”
you startle at the voice over you, having been nearly asleep.
“—uh?”
you turn your head to see Nanami looming over your side of the bed. if you were fully conscious, you would see the tiny look of mischief in his eyes as they roam your body, but you’re not, so you take it as his tendency to mother hen you.
and then he’s pushing you to the middle of the bed despite your whining, climbing in beside you. you try to settle in and find you’re still being moved—he’s on his back, shuffling himself down the bed and pulling one of your legs over his chest. you feel him turn his face into your belly in a move that feels suspiciously like nuzzling.
“what’re y’doin,” you slur, a little petulant at being woken up like this, despite it being well past the time you meant to rejoin the living and despite your own desire to seek out the warmth he’s emitting next to you.
“you’re going to hurt your hip, laying like that,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. he runs a hand up the back of your thigh and over your hip, and you sigh a little bit, comforted by the feeling of him.
“i don’t know how you sleep like that,” he continues, absentmindedly dragging his fingers over your skin, making you shiver every now and then.
“feels good,” you grumble, face shoved into the pillow. talking about your bizarre sleeping position and maybe also the way the rough pads of his fingers leave a trail of warmth in their wake. you think you hear him chuckle softly, and you feel him press a kiss to the skin of your belly, right above the hem of your sleep shorts.
it’s soft, chaste—and then it’s not, and you suck in a breath when you feel him kiss you there again, feeling the tip of his tongue drag along the skin that stretches over your hip bone.
and evidently he hears your sharp inhale, because you feel a strong arm sneak around your lower back, pulling you closer to him.
“was still sleeping, you know,” but it’s lost all of its bite and you’re a little breathless now, fixated on the way his free hand slides up the back of your thigh to brush over the sensitive spot just under the curve of your ass.
“go to sleep then,” he says into the soft of your belly, pressing another kiss, opening his mouth a little wider to catch the skin of it between his teeth. he’s turned into you now, and despite yourself, you drag your leg up from his chest so it’s over his shoulder.
he moves to rest his head against your thigh that’s trapped underneath him, and distantly you think that it is more comfortable like this— his head squeezed between your legs having alleviated some of the pressure against your hip from laying on your side. that thought quickly becomes muddled in your head when you feel him latch on to the skin of your inner thigh that rests against his face.
you whine, hips bucking weakly as you squirm under tongue and teeth—both leaning into and trying to get away from the sting of his bite.
“my sweet love,” he coos, running his tongue over the fresh bruise, placating you. you shiver, pressing your face further into the pillow to try to breathe—to ground yourself despite the heat that curls up your spine. he stops, then, and you peak down at him to find that he’s staring back up at you.
“hi,” you whisper, fighting another shudder at the way his lips pull at the corners into a smirk that looks absolutely sinful on him.
“good morning,” he drawls, deep and far too awake. he rests his chin in the space between your hips, pressing a quick kiss above your pubic bone. your hips buck toward him a tiny bit, and his smirk widens when he feels it.
you bring a hand down to run it through his hair, tangling in the blond strands and scratching at his scalp. he closes his eyes and hums, deep in his chest, nuzzling into your thigh. it makes you smile, and it makes you ache.
“want you, ken,” you murmur, squeezing him gently between your thighs and reveling in the groan he lets out.
“i know, sweetheart,” he coos, hands coming up again to grope whatever skin he can reach and pressing a tiny kiss through your shorts, “i can smell you.”
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Grocery shopping with Steve Harrington should not be such an arousing task, but it is.
It so is.
Eddie swears on all of his calloused fingers that watching Steve strut down the cereal aisle with his little shopping cart is better than hand stuff.
Seriously. He always walks a few feet behind Steve, just to get the perfect view of that award winning ass (Eddie made him a trophy for it last Valentine’s Day - it’s on their mantle).
They’ve been together for what? Eight years? And it never gets any less sexy. Watching him reach for the granola bars on the top shelf, stretching his annoyingly tucked in shirt.
Eddie pretends to peer through imaginary opera binoculars as Steve reads over the nutrition label. Steve flips it over a couple of times because he always forgets which brand he likes better - the blue box or the red box. Eddie never reminds him that his favorite is the blue box because the whole charade is too adorable.
But once Steve figures it out, he tosses the blue box into the cart, and Eddie always lets out this rumbly throat sound at the sight.
Steve turns his neck to look at Eddie. “This again?”
“This always.” Eddie catches up to Steve’s side at the canned food section, slides his hand in Steve’s back pocket. “Never not this.”
Steve rolls his eyes and bends down to grab a few cans of chicken noodle soup. Which holy fuck, seeing his boyfriend at a 75° angle holding his favorite soup preference? Eddie might as well be packaged and placed on the shelf. Cause his mind is turning to liquid. He’s becoming a bowl of horny broth at the sight of Steve all domestic and bent over.
Eddie quickly flicks off his jacket because the entire store just warmed up exponentially. Global warming doesn’t have shit on Steve Harrington holding discounted canned goods.
Steve lightly smacks Eddie's arm. “Pull yourself together.”
“I’ll pull your self onto my self.”
“Really?” Steve snorts. “That was the best you could come up with?”
“Yeah well, the lower quadrant of my brain shut off the second I visualized your ass dimple in the middle of the bread aisle.” Eddie explains, untucking one edge of Steve’s shirt.
“Sorry for the inconvenience to your grocery-kink brain.”
“You should be.” Grocery kink. Steve with a shopping cart kink. Eddie has both, no doubt.
And it’s totally true. The bread aisle is usually where all hope is lost for him. Fluffy breads, kneading dough, squishy carbs all around them. Steve’s sides are just begging to be squeezed in that aisle (amongst other places). The deli employee outwardly gawks as Eddie pokes at Steve's waist, pinching any area of skin that he can get his hands on.
"Just making sure the products are nice and fresh!" Eddie shouts to the employee, hugging Steve firmly from behind. The poor meat-slicing guy laughs nervously before scurrying into the stock room. Honestly, Eddie should probably feel more sympathetic but it's so hard to focus on anything else when Steve kisses his cheek. Accepts his weird affections fully.
"These people don't get paid enough to put up with your shit." Steve is laughing as he says it though. Clearly not that bothered by all of the attention he's getting. That's part of the reason they work so well together. They're absolute attention whores, equally.
"Okay, cut it out." Steve wiggles out from Eddie's grasp. "You're gonna smush the sourdough."
Eddie freezes. Mulls over the consequences over the next thing he's about to say. "Is that an invitation?"
"Ew."
"You said it."
"You twisted it."
"How could I not?"
"You need help." Steve turns down the next aisle, still speaking as he stays on task. "Preferably the kind that involves a person with a legal pad and a couch that you can lie down on."
Eddie snickers, thoroughly loves it when Steve bites back. Makes the chase feel like it just started, even after all these years.
He keeps it together for roughly twelve more minutes, which is probably a record. Eddie also deserves a trophy on their mantle for that - he's gonna hint to Steve about investing in one whenever they get back home.
But the aisle where Eddie’s composure levels malfunction entirely, is the frozen food section. See, whenever Steve opens the door to get milk or eggs or whatever essential dairy item they need, a rush of frigid air blows out. Makes Steve’s already bitable skin all bumpy. His neck is covered in little chill bumps, all of his baby hairs stick up with his raised skin.
This is the only instance where Eddie mildly wishes he were a cannibal, just to give Steve a little chomp. A little nibble at his change in skin texture. Eddie's not even sure why the chill bumps send him over the edge but they do - every damn time.
“Baby, we’ve talked about this.” Steve says once Eddie gets him pinned up behind the corner freezer in the very back.
"There were no snoopy old ladies around this time." Eddie licks all the way up to Steve's ear, tugging gently around the edges. "I checked."
Steve huffs once before taking Eddie's face with both hands, kissing him deep. The rest of his body is cold from the surrounding freezers, but Steve's lips are warm. Hotter every time Eddie's mouth connects to his again. Steve still tastes like the nectarine samples they had back at the produce aisle. The taste drives Eddie to suck on Steve's bottom lip, drinking up any leftover flavor he can. Make Steve's natural pout even more plush than it normally is.
He untucks the rest of Steve's annoying polo - lets his hands slide all the way around, landing at the small of Steve's back. Eddie presses his fingers into Steve's skin, making him shiver. Causing more chill bumps to rise. Ones that he created this time.
They've kissed like this over a thousand times by now, but it always feels different. It’s a new kiss on a new day.
And Eddie couldn't give a single fuck if the deli employee or the snoopy old lady saw them making out next to the lactose-free cheese selection. He'd show off his stupidly gorgeous boyfriend everywhere, make a complete spectacle out of it every damn time.
Steve would let him do it too. Eddie bets that Steve would let him get away with a full anarchist uprising if he wanted. Which he does. Kinda. After they're done kissing, obviously.
They stop only because Steve lets his lips part and his fingers drag down Eddie's chest. And whenever Steve does that move, he's approximately thirty seconds away from moaning explicit words. Loudly too. Eddie knows all of Steve's physical indicators by heart now. It’s practically Eddie’s native language, he would speak only that one if he could.
Eddie takes the cue to stash all of his hormones away - goes back to dotting small pecks all over Steve's face. He needs to get Steve laughing instead of panting. It's safer that way. Eddie isn't trying to get arrested in a supermarket for christ's sake (although that would make one hell of a story for family reunions).
They're sort of blotchy, all pinks and reds, as they get to the checkout line. The cashier must think their complexion is permanently like this. Every time she’s seen them, they’re blushed-up like Vegas showgirls. Eddie is immune to the embarrassment of the situation. He's pretty sure Steve is too - he can tell by the way Steve is still leaning all over him while he fumbles to get his wallet open. All love-drunk and kittenish.
They head back to their car, and Eddie gets one last look at Steve's signature shopping cart strut. He sighs dramatically - crushed inside that he'll have to wait till their next grocery run to see it again.
"That's it." Steve says after Eddie sighs for the fifth time. "You're returning the cart."
"Why?"
"It's punishment for your ridiculous behavior."
"Rude."
"Necessary."
"Fine." Eddie snatches the handle and stomps all the way to the cart corral at the front of the store.
This is an outrage. Steve should know that his sexy cart-walking encore is the best part of Shopping Day. Seeing him walk further away before returning - always doing a little hair ruffle thing as he comes back. It's Eddie's own version of Baywatch and Steve is ruining it.
He slides into the passenger seat, slamming the car door to emphasize his anger.
"Steve Harrington, I'm so fucking mad at y-"
Eddie can't even finish his sentence before Steve's mouth is on his. It's a messier kiss this time, Steve is doing all the moving while Eddie tries to figure out what's going on. He pulls back, raising both eyebrows.
"I get it now." Steve answers Eddie's nonverbal 'what the fuck' question.
"Get what?"
"The shopping cart thing." Steve looks Eddie up and down. "I get it."
Holy shit. "Were you checking me out?"
Steve nods. Shrugs. Nods again.
"How much time do you think we have before the ice cream melts?" Steve motions to the backseat, tucking in his lips, hiding a smirk.
Oh. That. They're doing that.
"I'd say we have..." Eddie checks the nonexistent watch on his wrist. "More than enough time."
They haven't had desperate car sex like this since their first year of dating. It's so good that Eddie wonders why they stopped having desperate car sex.
For the rest of the car ride home, they're obnoxiously touchy-feely. Eddie's hand stays glued to Steve's overpriced jeans. The denim is much softer than any pair of jeans that Eddie owns. Maybe that's why they cost a fortune.
Steve takes one hand off the steering wheel whenever there's a straight shot - rubs his fingers over Eddie's knuckles. Bounces off his rings like stepping stones.
They're nauseating. If Eddie saw any other couple act like this, he'd throw tomatoes ate them. Taunt them mercilessly.
But Steve Harrington is the prototype that future scientists will use one day to build their genetically flawless human race. So Eddie is allowed to be as nauseating and revolting as he wants.
Their plan failed. The ice cream is completely melted by the time they get home. But who fucking cares? Eddie is dating someone with his same weird shopping cart kink and that's all he could ever ask for.
And besides, that just means that they’ll have to go grocery shopping again.
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go for it! ; yuuta okkotsu
synopsis; yuuta’s been crushing on you ever since the first group project you had together, but he’s too nervous to confess. luckily, he has some over-eager friends willing to help! step 1: ask for your number!
word count; 7.4k
contents; yuuta okkotsu/reader, gn!reader, university au, yuuta majors in creative writing and writes poetry in his spare time <3, no curses au, yuuta is a cutiepie, he’s also a loserboy, pining and longing, one-sided love, maki inumaki and panda are wingmen (but not very good ones), fluffy vibes, gojo makes a guest appearance (stay safe), literally just yuuta being whipped for like 7k words straight
a/n; im gonna have to edit this a lot i think….. but for now it should be fine :3 i love the boy!!
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”you’re staring. again.”
yuuta flinches. a jolt overtakes him, running through his body, and the pen he’d been absently writing with slips from his fingers. it tumbles down to the ground with a soft thunk. 
gazing up at the shadow towering over him, his eyes are wide, a little flustered; like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. like he’s expecting a smack on the head from the person in front of him.
— it’s maki. 
and she looks displeased, lips pursed and a single eyebrow raised. unimpressed, as she stares him down — the same way he’d been looking at you just a second ago.
”they’re gonna think you’re a creep if they catch you, you know,” she sighs, shifting from one foot to another. carrying her bass in a case on her back.
”maki, c’mon,” comes from behind her, an even larger figure strolling up to the pair. grinning brightly, fluffy hair tousled by the afternoon breeze. ”cut him some slack!” 
”salmon,” a third voice joins in. inumaki’s got some green paint staining the sleeve of his hoodie, and his fingers are dirtied with charcoal.
his closest friends, all joining him on the table they usually frequent on campus. right next to a giant tree, casting a pleasantly cool shade and obscuring the irritating brightness of the sun.
maki, headstrong and resilient. infamously rude. a music major, primarily, though yuuta knows she has more than a couple minors. if you pay attention, you can see her almost everywhere on campus, and she always does well on exams. confident, enough so that just being around her makes yuuta feel a little more secure in himself.
panda, a big kid with a big heart, always wearing monochrome clothes. ‘panda’ can’t possibly be his real name, though yuuta’s never found the courage to ask. truthfully, he isn’t sure panda even has a major, or goes to this university at all — but nobody’s mentioned it yet, and he doubts they ever will.
and then inumaki, the quiet kid, always helpful and kind. a little teasing, too. selectively mute, speaking exclusively in rice ball ingredients, but yuuta has already begun adjusting to the thought behind his phrases. an art student with remarkable talent, from sculptures to comics to paintings. he mostly spends his lectures playing games on his phone, though. and he's the kindest guy yuuta knows.
his beloved friends. the reason he can smile through each day, even when it’s a little difficult.
and maki’s right, he knows she is. if you were to lock eyes with him, and realize he’d been glancing over at you for the past ten minutes… god, he doesn’t even want to think about it. you’d be weirded out for sure, wouldn’t you?
but yuuta just can’t help it. you’re far too radiant to ever look away from, smile much too pretty.
you’re just sitting there, laughing and talking with your friends, the same as any other day. comparing hand sizes with miwa, or leaning over to whisper in mai’s ear. snorting over something momo said, or trying to understand the code kokochi’s fiddling with on his laptop. just being yourself, with people you’re close to.
and yuuta desperately wishes he could be among them. wishes he could see your honeyed smile up close, hear the melodic lilt of your laughter, breathe in the lingering scent of your shampoo. he wishes he could speak to you without stuttering, without tripping over his feet — hang out with you outside of class. just something small, like studying together, or grabbing a bite to eat.
he wishes he could get to know you. 
yuuta thinks he must seem like a fool, to be so affected by your mere presence. everything comes to him so easily, when he looks at you; the pitter patter of his heart, his sweaty hands, the whirlwind of butterflies swirling in his chest. even just the way you twirl your hair or chew on your pencil is so mesmerizing. 
so all he can do is stare, hopeless, a moth to a flame. basking in the warmth of your gaze, directed at your friends.
hoping one day, maybe… that warmth will fall upon him, as well.
(maybe one day.)
”hellooo? earth to yuuta!”
”see? he’s hopeless.”
”mentaiko…”
”inumaki’s right. he’s a man in love!”
”he’s a boy with a stupid crush,” maki scoffs, picking at a piece of lint on her tank top. ”and we have a study session we need to get done. the exam’s next week, remember?”
exam.
yuuta shoots up, wasting no time in grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. the ring hanging around his neck dangles with the sudden movement, and he clutches onto it.
”ah — right!” he squeaks, apologetic. ”sorry, it completely slipped my mind —”
before his mind can begin to overthink every action he’s taken these past few hours, a hand reaches out to pat his shoulder. pat, pat. reassuring and stabilizing.
inumaki smiles at him. yuuta can’t see his mouth, from behind the fabric of his hoodie, but his eyes crinkle softly; and it’s enough to put yuuta’s heart at ease.
”don’t apologize,” maki says. simple, straightforward. ”let’s just get going. i need to do better than naoya did last time.”
”you’re still mad about that, huh?”
”he only got a higher score because i wasn’t on top of my game,” she grumbles, digging her nails into the pockets of her baseball jacket. ”he doesn’t even like music. he’s just taking the course to piss me off. grown ass man.”
a chuckle slips from yuuta’s lips. the warm breeze ruffles his hair, and he holds onto the strap of his backpack, following closely behind as his friends begin to leave. sending one final glance at your figure, over by a table near the apricot trees.
and that’s when it happens.
— he looks over at you, and finds that your eyes are already on him. 
a moment passes.
while yuuta struggles to find his breathing, your lips curl up into a soft smile. then you raise your hand, waving to him cheerily, teeth peeking out from between your lips. he can see it clearly, even with the distance between you. 
a smile that glimmers like a jewel, in the light of the sun. 
yuuta feels his lips part, mouth falling open ever so slightly. but he waves back, afraid to take too long, unable to stop the pounding of his heartbeat — smiling giddily, like a schoolgirl tripping over her feet. 
his friends just watch, wholly unimpressed.
”do you think he’d notice if i threw a rock at him?”
”maki!”
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”what do you like about them, anyway?”
the question is unexpected. yuuta has to do a double take, eyes straying from his excerpt of sappho 31 up to the person seated across from him. tapping her pencil on the edge of the table, resting her sharp jaw on the heel of her palm. 
”huh?”
”them. your crush,” maki reiterates. ”what caught your attention? there’s got to be something, yeah?”
”oh?” panda chirps, leaning back in his chair. a teasing grin playing at his lips. “i thought you didn’t care about his silly little crush.”
”i don’t.” a huff pushes past her lips, hands reaching to fix her lazy ponytail, hair tie dangling from between her teeth. ”i’m just bored. i already know all this, anyway.”
”tuna mayo.”
”oh, are you curious too, inumaki?”
”well, out with it. why them?”
yuuta blinks. once, then twice — mind spinning in circles, as his friends await his answer.
and, truthfully, yuuta can’t pinpoint the exact moment he felt it. that burst of joy, that tinge of excitement — the puppy love that rika always spoke of. she was always good at verbalizing her emotions, in a way yuuta never could.
(he always knew he loved her, but he could never put it into words.)
and he knows that he likes you. he knows because every word you speak has him stumbling over what to say, because even a single smile sent his way makes the world feel so gentle. he knows because he’d probably throw himself into incoming traffic, if you just asked him to.
but he can’t put it into words. not spoken ones, anyhow — putting them on paper is one thing, the one thing he can do. writing out his love for you in similes and metaphors, sonettes and alexandrines. it’s how he copes with everything; writing and writing, til his fingers start to hurt. he can compare you to a dandelion, to the way cicadas buzz in the light of the sun. the scent of childhood. but it’s harder to speak it out loud, to turn the feelings into sounds — that’s maki’s specialty, not his.
why does yuuta like you?
he remembers it clear as day, but still can’t pinpoint the exact second he fell headfirst into love. it was more of a creeping realization, something soft and sweet trickling through his veins. that sinking feeling, how helplessly he fell for you.
it all started with a pencil.
in hindsight, it’s a little silly. but yuuta can’t bring himself to think back to that moment with anything other than fondness.
(your smile was just so bright.)
that day had been a disaster. he was nervous, painfully so, afraid of every single new thing he came across during his first week of uni. scatterbrained, running on almost no sleep, unsure of where to put his feet as he walked.
honestly — what kind of trainwreck forgets their pen and notebook during their very first workshop?
all that anxiety, all those hours spent overthinking, and he still couldn’t manage something so small. in the moment, he almost panicked; sitting with you, a total stranger, wholly unprepared for such a simple assignment. read a couple excerpts, analyze them on paper. all yuuta could do was stare blankly at his lap, frozen, throat dry. hands cold with sweat.
but then you smiled.
”did you forget your notebook?” you had asked, voice set to a soothing tilt. calm, not angry or impatient.
”ah — yeah, i, um…” yuuta could only swallow thickly, fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie. ”i’m sorry. i haven't been sleeping well, so —”
”hey, hey, it’s fine!” you chuckled, teeth peeking out from between your lips. ”i totally get it. i almost forgot my laptop at yesterday’s lecture. we can just share!”
then you pushed your notebook closer to him, inviting him in. moving your chair a little, angling it towards him. but all yuuta could think of was how pretty your smile looked, how kind your presence felt.
”here you go,” you grinned, snapping him out of his trance. ”you can use this.”
a pencil. yuuta took it from your opened palm, gazing at it in wonder. an orange-coloured, halloween-themed pumpkin design. completely out of season. the tiny pumpkin was cute, though.
such a casual kindness. but maybe that's exactly why it made his heart flutter so deeply; as if you did it without even really thinking. as if kindness comes easy, to you.
that’s probably how it began. by the time the workshop ended, yuuta knew that he liked you, and he knew that he wanted nothing more than to be your friend.
(subconsciously, his fingers tap at the zipper of his backpack. the pumpkin pen is still with him, after you waved him off with a smooth you can keep it, if you want. yuuta has found that he always writes best when he uses it.)
”well?”
maki’s voice snaps him out of his trip down memory lane, and he stumbles for something to say. what does he like about you?
squirming, yuuta feels his face heat up, as he thinks of you. all he can see is your smile, the kindness in the tilt of your voice. the brightness of the grin you sent his way. warm and saccharine, like the sun peeking out after a downpour — when the streets smell like honeydew and rain.
”they’re just… so cool,” he finally sighs, a dreamy look smoothing over his face. ”they’re so nice. and their smile is so beautiful. they’re so smart, too — god, you should see the way they write — everything about them is just…”
yuuta blushes a deep red, smiling even still. lovesick. ”.. so, so wonderful.”
maki freezes in the midst of the tapping of her pencil. panda stops kicking at the foot of the table. and inumaki looks away from his phone, messing up his full combo.
a moment of silence passes. the study hall grows quiet, and yuuta looks down at his lap; suddenly embarrassed. sipping from his little carton of apple juice.
”hey…” panda starts, delicate. somehow, yuuta dreads the teasing edge to his voice. ”have you thought about confessing to them, yuuta?”
”what?” the boy in question squeaks, choking on his juice. ”no, of course not!”
”why?” maki deadpans. popping a chip into her mouth. ”you’re head over heels, right? might as well do something about it.”
inumaki hums. affirmative.
”i… don’t know,” yuuta sighs. a heavy breath, a little wobbly. meek. ”they’d just reject me, wouldn’t they? i mean…”
(you’re totally out of his league. right?)
maki scoffs, sitting up a little straighter. there’s an angered kind of affection in her eyes. ”you’re just deciding that all on your own. how would you know how they feel?”
the gaze she sends his way is intense. it always has been. there’s a kindness to it, though, something that makes yuuta want to look her in the eye — but he can’t, eyes still locked on his hands, resting in his lap. ”… still,” he manages a weak smile, somewhat sheepish. ”even if i wanted to, there’s no way i could. i’m too much of a coward.”
maki slams her textbook shut. the sound is sudden, loud. yuuta flinches, and a wince leaves inumaki’s lips. panda just watches her, snacking on some chips, a mild curiousity simmering in his eyes.
the girl in question gets up from her seat, grabbing her bass case and throwing it over her shoulder. then she looks at yuuta, eyes full of decision.
”— well, lucky for you, we’ve got some time to spare.”
a blink. yuuta gazes up at the girl in front of him, tilting his head in confusion.
maki sighs. exasperated. ”i’m saying we’ll help you. don’t look so resigned, dumbass.”
at that, panda gets up too — suddenly excited. ”are you thinking what i’m thinking?”
she just huffs, smiling even still. ”probably not. but let’s hear it.”
the grin on his face widens. he scribbles something down in his notebook, showing off the writing proudly. ”operation: get yuuta to confess is about to commence!”
inumaki turns off his phone. sitting up straight, arms decisively crossed, a strangely serious expression on his face. completely invested.
”wait — wait!” yuuta stutters, eyes wide with flustered shock. ”don’t i get a say in this?”
”of course not.”
”nope!”
”bonito flakes.”
”b… but —”
”alright, so here’s what i’m thinking,” panda begins, writing down unintelligible notes on the pages of his tattered notebook. ”we need to start small. we don’t want yuuta getting heart palpitations and fainting in the middle of campus, so —”
”tuna mayo?”
”yeah, that’s perfect! hang on, lemme just…”
”let me see. i don’t want you messing this up.”
yuuta’s voice comes out tiny, as it falls from his lips. more of a squeaky breath. ”guys, i really — you don’t need to —”
panda continues to scribble in the notebook, engrossed, arm hanging off maki’s shoulder as they go over the contents. inumaki nods along, walking over to them with lazy steps. yuuta’s protests go unnoticed, and all he can do is watch them mutter under their breaths.
”— okay. listen up, yuuta.”
he raises his head, and meets maki’s sharp eyes. she’s smiling, strolling over to place the notebook right in front of him. ”here’s how this is gonna go.”
yuuta looks down. 
everything is written out with a pink sharpie, glittery and pretty. there are little hearts doodled out across the pages, and he can tell exactly which ones were drawn by who. all of them look messy, with the exception of inumaki’s perfect little shapes. 
and there, right in the middle, lies a line of text.
panda reads it out, voice loud and cheery, while maki and inumaki stick close. all smiling, as a chill crawls down yuuta’s spine.
”step 1: ask for their number!”
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plan a
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”okay, so… what am i supposed to do, exactly?”
panda throws an arm over yuuta’s shoulder, and he’s enveloped by the scent of fresh sunlight. the weight is heavy, a comfort. ”we’re going with my plan first! it’s the best one, so don’t worry.”
”i don’t know about that,” maki scoffs. ”we can’t ask mai. best case scenario, she’ll laugh at us a little and say no.”
inumaki hums. he rips out a part of the notebook he’s been tasked with carrying, doodling a little face and showing it to the rest of his friends.
yuuta leans in close. it’s a cute doodle, charming. and he can tell who it’s supposed to depict. miwa kasumi.
”yeah, she’s our best bet,” maki sighs, brushing some specks of dust off her jeans. ”she seems like the nicest one in that group.”
yuuta tilts his head, brows furrowed in confusion. he plays with the ring hanging around his neck, a nervous tick he’s never managed to get rid of. ”wait, so…” he trails off, unsure. ”what are we doing, exactly?”
panda tugs him closer, a friendly smile on his face. ”we’re going to their friends for help!” he beams. ”that’ll be easier for you, right?”
a blink. yuuta gazes into the eyes of his friend, something soft blooming in his eyes.
they can be a chaotic bunch — but they’re still so considerate. considerate enough to know asking for your number straight out would be too much for him. considerate enough to think of his comfort, in a way no one else has bothered to before.
(faced with such immense understanding, such genuine friendship, how could he ever bear to let them down?)
”… alright,” yuuta gulps, clutching his ring as if to give him courage. managing a smile. ”let’s do this, then!”
with newfound determination, the four of them seek out miwa kasumi. it doesn’t take too long — she’s studying, going over legal codes in the library, eyes narrowed in concentration. and she isn’t alone.
”hey, miwa. muta.”
the pair look up from their respective textbooks and laptop, meeting the gaze of a certain maki zenin, waltzing over to their table. miwa smiles, but kokichi doesn’t say anything.
”hi, maki! how are you?”
”i’m good,” she answers, straight to the point; but her eyes soften a little. then she gestures towards yuuta with a tilt of her head. ”sorry, but this guy needs your help.” 
”hm?” miwa shifts in her seat, meeting yuuta’s nervous gaze, as he steps forward. ”ah, you’re… okkotsu, right?”
”ah, yeah! sorry for interrupting you two…”
”no, no! please, don’t worry about it,” she grins. sweet and soft, twirling a lock of her hair between her fingers. ”we don't mind. right?”
kokichi still doesn’t say anything. but he nods, when miwa meets his eyes — and yuuta notices that they seem a lot softer when she does.
”so, here’s how it is…”
panda explains the situation to the pair. yuuta looks down at the floor, face flushed as he shifts from foot to foot. by the time he’s finished, miwa looks wholly invested, and kokichi looks a little less like all he wants is for them to leave him and miwa be.
”awww, that’s so sweet!!” she gushes, clasping her hands together. eyes glimmering with excitement.
”right,” maki hums. already a little impatient. ”so, basically — we need their number.”
”… ah. well, um —” miwa trails off, averting her gaze. she looks over at kokichi, but he only shrugs, going back to his coding. ”see, here’s the thing…”
with an apologetic look in her eyes, she turns to yuuta. ”i support you 100% — but i dunno if it’d feel right to just… give away their number like that, you know?” she mumbles, sheepishly. ”i think you should ask them, yourself. that’d be way more romantic!”
”yeah, but that’s a tall hurdle for a socially anxious guy…” panda mutters, patting yuuta’s back.
”still! i’m sure they’d appreciate you being direct.” miwa closes her eyes, a dreamy expression painted on her face. ”i’d be elated if someone asked for my number like that!! all stuttering and shy… it’d be so cute!”
(if anyone notices kokichi stiffening beside her, they don’t mention it.)
maki sighs, resigned. ”well, i don’t think we’re getting any numbers here. good. what kind of creep just texts someone out of nowhere, anyway?”
”i thought it was a good plan!” panda protests, pouting a little. maki shoots him a look.
”it was an awful plan. what were you planning to say? hey, i forced your friend to give me your number, but would you want to hang out sometime?” she crosses her arms with a sharp scoff. ”i’d beat your ass!”
panda grumbles a little under his breath, but doesn’t say anything. 
”sorry i couldn’t be of more help,” miwa mumbles, sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. ”good luck, though! i hope they say yes!”
”thanks, miwa,” yuuta smiles, already in the process of being tugged away by his friends. ”i really appreciate it!”
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plan a
plan b
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”alright, inumaki’s turn. what’s your take on the situation, mister?”
the boy in question sits up straight, back resting against a tree trunk. he writes something down, and yuuta waits, patiently — absentmindedly staring at the white petals of the apricot trees on campus. pure, fleeting, sweet blossoms unfurling before him.
when he’s finished, inumaki presents the page to yuuta, and everyone gathers round. reading the writing, eyes trailing over his little doodles. panda grins, and maki strokes her chin in contemplation.
”you’re a genius, inu!”
”well, it’s probably the easiest way to go about it…”
yuuta purses his lips. it’s a good plan, he thinks; writing out a note, and passing it to you in the middle of class. that way, he won’t have to turn his feelings into sounds, won’t have to speak them out loud. there’s a safety to it, the trickling of ink across blank papers. one that’s never failed him.
”… that should work,” he mumbles, and inumaki visibly brightens. ”what am i supposed to write, though?”
”just be straightforward.”
”not seconded!” panda huffs, crossing his legs. ”you need to be dramatic. heartfelt. that’ll catch their attention!” he stops to think for a moment, a hum buzzing loudly in his throat. ”hey — why not write them a love poem? put those skills to good use!”
”a love poem?” yuuta squeaks, a slight heat rising to the tips of his ears. ”there’s no way i could do that! and i’m not skilled, i —”
a pause. yuuta bites his lip.
”… it’d just be embarrassing,” he finally mutters, playing with his ring.
(he wonders what rika would think, if she were here. what she’d advise him to do — would she like the love poem idea? probably.)
”well, you could at least try. who knows, maybe they’ll like it,” maki attempts to reassure him, chewing at a piece of gum. ”if they’re anything like miwa, it’ll be easy.”
gnawing at his bottom lip, yuuta emits an anxious hum. deep in thought. maybe you would like it, but… what if you just think it’s cheesy?
maki observes him, intently. listening to the emotions behind his silence. tapping the pads of her fingers on her knee, in a rhythmic motion. ”… at least try writing something out,” she says. ”if you can’t think of anything, then just copy some random old guy. what was his name, uh — catallas? or something?”
yuuta’s gaze snaps up, eyes gone wide. ”catullus?” he gapes, in disbelief. ”are you insane? do you even know what kind of poems he wrote?”
maki shoots him a confused look, and a tilt of her head. ”isn’t he the ’give me a thousand kisses’ guy?”
”he is, but that’s —” a sigh, exasperated. flustered, as it flows from his parted lips. then he shakes his head. ”nevermind. it doesn’t matter.”
”tuna…” inumaki mumbles, nudging yuuta’s shoulder with his head. a silent encouragement. and even with no words, yuuta knows what he’s trying to say.
just be yourself. this is your specialty, right? 
write from your heart.
”inumaki…” yuuta meets his gaze, and is met with a pair of warm eyes. a friendly punch meets his shoulder, soft and delicate. kind.
”… alright. i’ll write it!”
”that’s the spirit!” panda grins. ”just give it to them during tomorrow’s lecture.”
”yeah,” yuuta nods, mustering the courage to smile. ”i will!”
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when yuuta gets home that night, he makes himself a cup of coffee with too much sugar, and gets ready to write.
he listens to maki’s acoustic guitar covers through his headphones, curled up with the fluffy blanket panda gave him, and munches on a hastily made onigiri to give himself much-needed energy.
(writing with a certain pumpkin-themed pencil, basking in the scratching of lead against blank pages.)
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his hands are shaking.
it’s barely noticeable, but it’s there. that nervous shiver of his bones, the rattling of his skeleton. you’re sitting right next to him, so close he can smell the shampoo you use, the mint off your breath —
and yuuta can’t seem to hand you the note.
he spent all last night writing it. putting every single little drop of his love into every single little word. but that fear of rejection still remains, rendering him useless, unable to act.
you’re listening to the lecture, but only halfheartedly, absentmindedly doodling in your notebook. out of boredom, he assumes.
it’s the perfect moment to strike.
yuuta’s hands are shaking, and his heartbeat is stuttering, crawling up his throat. he takes a sip of water, hoping it’ll make the dry sensation go away, but it doesn’t work.
(just be yourself.)
with a deep intake of breath, he pushes the note over to you — not daring to look your way.
his eyes remain glued on the laptop screen in front of him, but he hears you pick it up, hears the rustling of paper as you unfold it. his heart echoes with a similar rhythm, unstable, borderline erratic. the rest of the lecture passes by slowly, minute by minute, at an agonizing pace.
when it finally ends, yuuta has to restrain the urge to run away — turning towards you slowly, hesitantly, as if just the sight of you could blind him if he isn’t careful. but you’re already looking at him. and you’re smiling.
”that was so good, yuuta!”
….
huh?
”sorry, but i honestly don’t have any feedback,” you mumble, eyes trailing over the note again. ”i like it a lot. i didn’t know you wrote poetry!”
”… ah.”  yuuta stumbles for something to say. staring into your eyes, blankly. dumbly. ”t.. thank you! i’m glad you liked it.”
with a brief shake of your head, you smile, and something sickly sweet unfurls in his chest. ”not at all. thanks for letting me read it! i’m sorry i can’t really help you improve…”
mentally, yuuta falls to his knees. places his palms on the floor and dry heaves, clutching his heart. did you not get it? was he not clear enough? he wrote it with you in mind, so —
”maybe you could show it to professor nanami?” you suggest, unaware of the turmoil within the boy to your right. ”i'm sure he’ll be a great help! he can seem a bit intimidating, but he’s nice.”
”.. yeah,” yuuta smiles, weakly. ”i’ll do that. thanks again.”
for a moment, he isn’t even upset. because you flash him another bright smile, and suddenly, even the frustration of yet another setback doesn’t feel so awful.
(maybe it’s fine, he thinks. maybe this is enough; speaking to you, getting to see your smile up close. maybe he doesn’t need anything else, after all.)
”so?” maki questions, waiting for him outside of class with his other two friends. ”how’d it go?”
shoulders slumped, but still wearing a smile on his face, yuuta chuckles. it comes out sounding a little strangled. ”they… thought i wanted their feedback on my poetry.”
….
”what.”
panda attempt to stifle his laughter, but it doesn’t really work. inumaki elbows him gently, but yuuta sees his eyes crinkle, too. he breathes out a low chuckle. ”they liked the poem, at least. so i’m happy.”
a sigh falls from maki’s lips, and she waltzes over to him, a hand on her hip. the other reaches out for the note in his palm. ”let me see.”
quickly unfolding it, her eyes trail across the words on the pages, the flowery lines of writing —
and then she shoots him an unimpressed look.
”.. yuuta,” she pinches the bridge of her nose. ”what the hell is this? you didn’t even mention their number.”
panda leans over her shoulder, peeking at the text. eyes glancing over a couple lines, riddled with sugarsweet metaphors. ”uh, wow. you… really got into it, huh?”
a groan leaves yuuta’s lips, the sound muffled as he cradles his head in his hands. ”please don’t say anything else. i just wanna crawl into a hole and die…”
inumaki shakes his head, erratic, pointing at the poem with shining eyes. ”mentaiko!”
”ah, you liked it? thanks, inumaki…”
the boy in question smiles, shooting yuuta a thumbs up. he returns it with a small smile of his own.
surrounded by his friends, all he can do is bask in their warmth — and the memory of the smile you gave him.
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plan a plan b
plan c
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a groan fills the air, as yuuta slumps over the table. cheek pressed against the cold wood, absently kicking his legs, voice meek and defeated.
”this is never gonna work,” he mutters under his breath. eyes devoid of hope. ” i’m just not cut out for this, guys…”
”aw, c’mon….” panda reaches over to ruffle his hair, palm big and warm. ”don’t give up hope! you want to grow closer to them, don’t you?”
”i do, but…” he sighs. ”this isn’t going very well, is it…?”
inumaki frowns, sending yuuta a sympathetic glance.
”oh, quit moping already!” maki grumbles. ”we just need to keep brainstorming. isn’t it time for my plan, yet?”
”should we really even keep going…?” another sigh, heavy with fatigue. yuuta’s mind spins in circles, tiring him out. rendering him a bit cynical. ”i mean… maybe it’s fine if things stay this way.”
a moment passes. maki looks at him, emitting a soft scoff. ”what, so you’re just gonna keep pining for the rest of the term?”
”that’s the plan.”
”yuuta…” panda pouts, shoes bumping against his beneath the table. ”be more positive! just think about it; with every step you take, you get closer to confessing!”
yet another groan. this one is deep, riddled with exhaustion. muffled into the table. ”that’s the scariest part…”
before either of his friends can begin to persuade him otherwise, encourage him further, a sing-songy voice echoes throughout the air. loud, cheery — a little bit obnoxious.
”oh? did someone just say confess?”
at the same instant the sound reaches their ears, a chill runs down the youths’ spines. in tandem with each other, they raise their heads; gazes falling on a certain satoru gojo.
panda and maki are the first to act, speaking simultaneously as the white haired man inches closer. 
”— no.”
maki closes the notebook containing operation: get yuuta to confess, right before their professor can get close enough to see it. then she turns towards him, shooting him a cold look.
”your hearing’s getting bad,” she hums. ”maybe you should book a doctor’s appointment.”
a pout. gojo takes a seat right beside her, uncomfortably long legs bumping against every single other pair of shoes beneath the table.
”oh, c’mon. you know i heard you.” his hand reaches out to ruffle her hair, but she smacks it away. ”you’re starting to sound just like megumi, y’know that?”
maki grits her teeth. ”guess it’s a genetic thing,” she huffs. ”now can you leave? don’t you have papers to grade?”
”don’t you have papers to write?” gojo smirks, a teasing mirth in his eyes. hidden behind his sunglasses. maki ignores him. 
placing his palms on the table, he leans a little closer, lips curled up into a cheshire grin. foreboding. ”sooo… yuuta’s got himself a little crush, huh?” he teases. ”tell your favorite professor allll about it. maybe i can help!”
”professor geto is our favorite,” maki shoots back, instantaneous.
a soft huff. there’s something sour in gojo’s expression, now. ”that guy? really?”
before the two can argue further, yuuta takes the opportunity to to speak. smiling apologetically, polite and sweet. ”thanks, mr. gojo, but…”
”he doesn't need your help,” maki cuts in. so much for diffusing the tension. ”and do you really expect us to believe you get girls?”
”wha — rude!” gojo scoffs. ”for your information, i’m a natural charmer!”
… 
a moment passes. then another.
”… tough crowd,” he clicks his tongue, met only with four blank stares. ”but, really — let me help! i'm your professor, you know?”
and this time, yuuta thinks that gojo’s smile looks just a little more sincere. something kind and gentle in the way his lips curl up, like a father’s affection for their children. something that makes yuuta falter.
(maki might like mr. geto more — but when it comes to yuuta, his favorite professor is a no-brainer.)
so he speaks up, again. ”we can at least hear him out, right…?” maki shoots him an unimpressed look, but he doesn’t back down. ”we’re stuck, anyway…”
and just like that, gojo brightens. it’s obvious, in the way he sits up, more alert. in the way his grin grows wider. ”right? what you need is the perspective of someone more experienced.”
”have you even talked to a girl before?”
”i see him at ieiri’s office, sometimes.”
”salmon.”
”isn’t she a lesbian? that doesn’t count. i mean, like, in a romantic context.”
”i thought mr. gojo was gay, too?”
”what? no way. have you seen the way he’s dressed —?”
gojo clears his throat, voice loud and grating. demanding attention, cutting his eager students off. ”anyway,” he chirps. ”gather round, children! i’ll tell you exactly how to ask the person you like for their number.”
”wh —” yuuta blinks. ”how’d you…?”
”operation ’get yuuta to confess!’, step 1: ask for their number!” gojo repeats, grinning ear to ear. voice rich with amusement. ”i like the glitter. it’s a nice touch.”
maki huffs. looks like she didn’t close it fast enough.
begrudgingly, the youths quiet down, finally willing to hear their professor out. and gojo seems satisfied, at last, speaking in a hushed whisper; eerily serious all of a sudden. ”ok, so here’s what you do…”
everything goes silent. yuuta strains his ears, and gojo parts his lips. 
”— just ask them! easy, right?
….
”let’s go, yuuta.”
”mentaiko.”
”i heard they're serving those sandwiches you like at the cafeteria today! let's hurry before they run out.”
”ah — i was just kidding!” gojo laughs, as his students get up from their seats. ”i have an actual answer!”
maki grabs her bass, inumaki takes the notebook, and panda ushers yuuta away. they begin to walk down the hall, ignoring the pleas of the man behind them. pouting, as his shout echoes throughout the hallway. 
”kids! come back!”
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plan a plan b plan c
plan d
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”okay, so this is going absolutely nowhere.”
relishing in the shadow cast by the giant campus tree, the four friends sit on their usual table, sandwiches in hand. yuuta takes a bite of his, tentative. a little disheartened.
”really, guys… i appreciate it a lot, but maybe we should stop here.”
maki huffs. reaching across the table, she gently smacks him over the head with her can of sprite. ”no way. we still haven’t tried my plan.”
he leans back, a little further, a hesitant look in his eyes. the sun shines down, relentless, but the air smells like rain. in the distance he sees clouds, dark, approaching at a slow pace.
an omen, he thinks. a reason not to speak out.
rika always liked the rain. she liked the scent that came with it, the puddles she could jump in. she liked shaking the branches of tiny trees, just to see him jolt and squeak as the raindrops hit him.
the ring around his neck weighs heavy on his heart. the promise of it, the oath within the silver.
(when we grow up, let’s get married!)
”earth to yuuta!”
his eyes flutter open.
the sun shines down, embracing the contours of his face. painting his world yellow. from this angle, staring up at the tree, he can see it breaking through; between the gaps of the green leaves, the white blossoms. forcing its way into his line of vision.
a flicker of hope.
”do you want to hear the plan or not?” maki scoffs, crossing her arms and tapping at her elbow. impatient.
yuuta meets her gaze, finding it in him to muster up just a little more determination. ”yeah,” he breathes. ”i do.”
a smile blooms on her face. ”good. alright.”
panda and inumaki inch closer to the pair, careful not to knock over the cans of soda resting on the table. in a mess of limbs and tousled hair, they gather round.
this is it, yuuta thinks — the final plan. if it fails, he’ll just have to keep pining from afar. memorizing your smile, over and over, until you graduate and part ways. 
this is it.
maki parts her lips.
”— just ask them,” she says. ”straight out.”
silence. 
a moment passes. a soft, pleasant breeze flits by, caressing yuuta’s skin. his ring sways with the wind, gently. 
”… huh?!”
panda furrow his brows, leaning closer with his palms on his knees. ”i thought we agreed that was stupid!” inumaki huffs out a low affirmative noise, holding his sketchbook tightly to his chest. but maki only puffs out her chest.
yuuta tilts his head, with a soft furrow of his brows. ”didn’t you just cuss out mr. gojo for suggesting that…?”
”well, it’s dumb when he says it…” she mutters, under her breath. then her gaze turns firm. ”look — yuuta.”
when the two lock eyes, he notices a steadfast determination, glimmering in her irises. something almost burning.
”you aren’t going to get anywhere if you’re too cowardly to even look them in the eye,” she tells him, not allowing him to squirm away from the eye contact. ”you guys can come up with those convoluted plans all you want, but there’s no way you’ll grow closer if you can’t face them.”
tousling her hair, softly, maki lets out a sigh. there’s a kindness to it, distinct. he can tell she’s trying to be tactful. 
”if you really want to get to know them, then you have to be direct. and you have to believe in yourself. you’ve already resigned yourself to the fact that they’ll say no — but that’s just dumb.”
panda winces, under his breath, but doesn’t say anything. maybe this is exactly what yuuta needs to hear.
the boy in question listens, the eyes of his friend boring into his own. determined, confident, sincere — everything he isn’t. everything he wants to be.
”even if you don’t believe it, you’re a charming guy. we all think so,” she continues, matter-of-factly. angered affection overflowing in her voice.
”have some confidence, dammit!”
a moment passes. yuuta feels his lips part, ever so slightly. a little speechless.
panda and inumaki sit shoulder to shoulder, hands over their eyes, shielding themselves from the sight in front of them. comically, as if it’s too bright to look at directly. 
”this… overflowing tough love…!”
”salmon roe…!”
maki grins, all teeth, a little wolfish. but kind. ”the worst thing they can say is no, right? 
yuuta blinks. ”maki…” he mumbles, looking into her eyes, a certain sensation running through his chest. a kind of confidence. passed on from her to him — one friend to another. the most natural exchange in the world.
then he smiles. a little meek, somewhat awkward — but bright. ”yeah. yeah, you’re right!”
the lazy grin on her lips only deepens, as she gets up to her feet, dusting non-existent dirt off her jeans. reaching a hand out for yuuta to take. ”c’mon, loser. shape up. you’re gonna steal their heart, aren’t you?”
a moment passes.
yuuta takes her hand in his. ”i am,” he swallows down a gulp. willing his voice to sound even a little bit self-assured.
and she pulls him up, effortlessly, overflowing with a natural resilience. still grinning cheekily. encouraging him. ”you’re gonna go out there and do your best, right?”
”i — i am!”
another voice chimes in. ”you’re gonna finish my essay for me this week, right?”
”i am!”
”wait —”
maki hits panda over the head with a soft thwack. a wince leaves his lips, and inumaki giggles, quieting down when maki sends him a warning glance.
”don’t throw him off his game,” she huffs. then she turns to yuuta once more. ”let’s go find them. alright, loverboy?”
a smile blooms on his lips. grateful, to be surrounded by such sunny people. ones that make it a little easier to smile each day. ”right.”
— but before either of them can take a step forward, a warm voice spills into the open air.
”um, yuuta?”
the boy in question stops in his tracks. he feels his eyes widen, spinning on his heels, hair ruffled by the breeze — turning to look at the source of the sound. 
it’s you.
you, with your sunkissed smile, that inviting voice. that soothing, soothing presence. one that has his heartbeat picking up in speed, hands growing sweaty, throat running dry. one that makes him feel a little bit feverish. and you’re looking right at him, into his eyes.
”hey!” he sputters, blinking rapidly to convince himself that he isn’t hallucinating. but you just keep smiling, answering his awkward greeting without skipping a beat.
”hi! sorry, could i just… talk to you, for a second?” 
he blinks. the world stops spinning.
(you… want to talk….
to him?)
attempting to find the words, any words, he opens his mouth — but nothing comes out. not a single syllable, no vowels, not even a sound. nothing at all.
he can only stare, star-struck.
it’s not until his friends push him forward that he’s snapped out of it; they surround him, on all sides, wearing matching grins. teasing and excited.
”don’t worry, he’s all yours!”
”have fun, you two!”
”salmon!”
— then they’re off. 
yuuta tries to reach for their sleeves, in a weak attempt to keep them from leaving, but they’re gone before he can even blink. leaving him all alone, with someone he can’t talk to without experiencing intense symptoms of heart failure. 
he stumbles for something to say, again, but thankfully you beat him to it.
”sorry for interrupting you guys,” you say, voice set to a low tilt. apologetic. and his throat unclogs, a little.
”ah, no, it’s fine!” he smiles, maybe a little too giddy. wanting so badly to reassure you, to put you at ease. ”i’m happy to speak to you!”
(oh god oh no why did i say that —)
your smile widens, blooming like a flower in the sunlight. unfurling in front of his very eyes. ”me too!” you say, excitedly. ”i feel like you and i have been talking more, recently… it’s nice.”
eyes crinkling, you wringle your hands together, and look at him fondly. yuuta’s surprised he manages to keep his knees from buckling.
”i think so too!” he grins, ears pink and dimples showing. 
both of you smile. the breeze curls around your hair, illuminating the colour of your eyes. yuuta stops breathing, for a moment — just taking it all in.
”so — anyway…” you murmur, fiddling with the fabric of your pants. ”um… haha. sorry, i’m — a little nervous…”
yuuta blinks.
(he knows where this is going. all the signs are there, right in front of him; the flush of your cheeks, the nervous tapping of your fingers, the hesitance in your eyes. he’s read enough shoujo manga — he knows what this means.)
and he almost can’t believe it.
all he can do is keep smiling, hoping it’ll give you even a fraction of the peace that your smile brings him. ”don’t be,” he says, voice soothing. scratching the back of his head. ”whatever it is, i’ll — um. i’ll listen, so…”
he clears his throat. swallowing thickly.
”just — whenever you're ready.”
there’s no mistaking it. your ears are painted pink, and you’re gnawing at your bottom lip. fiddling with your fingers and avoiding his gaze, with a soft inhale, clear air filling your lungs. he wonders if your throat feels as dry as his, if your heart is beating even half as fast.
”um… okay, so…” you mumble, eyes unable to stay in one place for too long. a soft bout of laughter escapes you, and he can tell you’re trying to stave off your own nervosity; it sends a pang of ache running through his chest.
he wants to tell you that there’s no need to be nervous. that he’d listen to anything you have say, absolutely anything, no matter what it is.
he wants to tell you that he’d never let you down, that he’d have to be foolish to even think the thought.
he wants to tell you that he’ll hear you out. whenever, wherever. for as long as you need.
”do you, um…”
a gulp. your eyes find his, and there’s a soft kind of decisiveness in them. 
here it comes, he thinks. here it comes.
yuuta feels the heat on his cheeks, ears burning. and he hears the patter of his heartbeat, loud and heavy, echoing in his muddled mind like a mantra. but his chest feels light; fluttery, butterflies dancing around uncontrollably. 
clutching the ring around his neck, subconsciously, he looks you in the eye.
they’re bright, glimmering like little galaxies — or maybe more like summer skies. painted over with a warm hue, something nostalgic and sweet, so pretty it hurts. if he strains his eyes enough, he’s almost sure he can see the swirling of fluffy clouds in the depths of your irises.
a smile rests on your lips. it's almost overwhelmingly sweet, albeit a little shy, as you part your pretty lips. voice soaked in nervosity, tingly and shaky, and something he knows to be puppy love.
a shallow, dry intake of breath. yuuta braces himself.
here it comes. 
your voice spills out into the air, dripping with honey and magnolias. he thinks to himself that he’d like to hear the melodic lilt of it every single day; before going to bed, right after waking up. walking to campus together, heading back to the dorms when the sky gets dark.
just the sound alone would be enough.
subconsciously, he tugs on the strap of his backpack. thinking of the pencil inside it. his lucky charm, along with the ring around his neck — ordinary objects, both too precious for words.
(when we grow up, let’s get married!
you can keep it, if you want.)
here it comes, yuuta thinks.
a new beginning.
he strains his ears, and purses his lips, and watches your lips move as you finally ask —
”do you have maki’s number?”
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(somewhere in the distance, from an inconspicuous bush, the muffled screams of three students and one professor resounds.)
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ghostbsuter · 5 months
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"Here," Danny slides his business card over, and Victor fries takes it.
"Contact my parents, go to Amity Park. They can explain and answer every question you have, Mr. Fries."
Victor, still in his suit and staring, frowns. "What about Nora?"
"I can promise you, she will be alright. I'll give you daily news of her condition and make sure everything is on top condition."
Mr. Fries hesitates, glancing at his frozen wife. He contemplates it, the decision and its cost if he were to trust.
"Nora can't handle transportation in these conditions, but with me here, she will get enough ectoplasm exposure that will make her liminal." Danny explains carefully, eyes crinkling as he looks at the man.
"She will turn into a ghost and come back. Anger may be stronger than love, but love is one of the main emotions one will form in the Infinity Realms."
Victor exhales shakily, breath tinted white from the cold.
"The same will happen to me if I depart to amity park?"
"Yes." The halfa nods. "You will be exposed to ectoplasm like every other civilian there, but unlike here with Nora, my parents will make sure you understand every little thing about this process."
"And if she does come back as a ghost... how long...?"
Danny bites his lip. "I'm not sure. Once her ghost forms, she will be under my protection, many know to not go against me. She will learn of her new culture and then of the traditions."
He explains slowly, making sure Mr. Fries is concentrated and on line with every word he tells.
"Her memories will slowly trickle in, but she will remember and most likely go and find you."
Victor, the ever careful man he is, tilts his head. "How will she come back?"
"My parents again, they have a portal. She will be led to it by associates and friends safely. You will meet her at Amity Park, that's why I suggested moving in the first place. She won't be strong enough to leave amity at first."
"Why me? Why us? This program is not public, and you can not possibly be joking either."
"Valid," Danny shrugs at his gaze. "Call it fondess or maybe attachment, but Nora really grew on me despite... not being very expressive."
(They talked for so so long, until Victor Fries aka Mr. Freeze finally agreed and left.
Danny gave them the privacy needed for their temporary goodbye, he would help them, he'd promised so.
And Phantom doesn't break promises.
So he helps Mr. Fries escape Gotham, made sure he arrived at the meeting place with Jazz, and gave updates on Nora in her cryochamber.
He would buy flowers for her, talk, throw jokes, despite no answer.
Aunt Nora's life would flicker at a time, and sooner than later, Danny knew her time was up.
He left when Victor came back, got her out of her sleep, and held her for her last moments. He was here when Victor departed again, ready to prepare his new apartment at Amity for Nora's arrival.
He felt unbridled happiness when the news came back months later that Nora managed to get back. She became a winter spirit like he is, more alive than she was in the last live.
Danny was happy for the Fries family.)
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aroaceleovaldez · 7 months
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i still think a lot about how technically, it's implied Anubis and Walt started dating each other before they asked out Sadie, and if Sadie had said she wasn't interested they would have gone "Entirely fair have a nice day" and proceed to just go continue to date each other.
Cause like, that was the entire thing. They decided that themselves. That things would work best if they were together (as in both physically sharing a body and also relationship-wise). The "asking Sadie about it" part was secondary. If she had said no, they would have stayed together, because among other things Walt would kind of die if they didn't. Walt and Anubis are technically the first gay couple in the Riordanverse. AND they're in a polyamorous relationship with Sadie. Why does no one talk about them ever.
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gayofthefae · 2 months
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Will doesn't wish Mike liked him back, he wishes he wasn't gay. And I think about that.
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dethharmonic · 1 year
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HLVRAI birthday made me realize i have never drawn any fanart specific to that, so i did one lol
the community that the rtvs folks has built is, for the most part, fantastic. I’m thankful that I can witness all the cool shit y’all do.
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ASOIAF discourse would be a lot more fun if we all realized that every single person who has been put in a position of leadership/rulership fails in one way or another. Jon and Dany failing is not an indictment on their abilities to lead or rule. They’re kids, they still have shit to figure out. Given “what was Aragorn’s tax policy”, I doubt GRRM will write a story that will feature the appearance of a most perfect ruler ever who will be a total success instead Jon and Dany who were tOtAl FlOpS. Especially if this person has no previous experience that has been detailed within the text itself. That’s not only antithetical to the series, but also not how you write a narrative.
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*swings legs* some SAGAU thoughts for when you're sick
it's been raining for days.
no one's sure what caused the sudden flood- normally Liyue's storms were quick and short, unless an Adeptus or God had some part in it- but this time it continued for weeks, the rainwater soaking into the soil and pooling in crevices, the canals of the Harbor overflowing into the streets. the people grow worried, turning to the Qixing who have no solutions, and the hidden Rex Lapis investigates in the shadows and uncovers nothing.
Childe simply watches the rain in silence, leaning against the cave wall, the horns of his Foul Legacy form lightly clacking against the damp stone. unlike the rest, he knows the source of the downpour- but it doesn't make it any less worrying.
there's a soft groan behind him, and Childe's head jerks towards the mound of blankets on the floor, hurrying to kneel beside the figure buried beneath the covers- the Creator, his God.
you.
how long have you been sick for? too long- far too long for anyone, but there's not much either of you can do, with the entire nation and beyond hunting for your head. his claws brush your forehead, a low whine slipping from his fanged maw when he feels it burning, just as it was the day before. the Abyss in him howls for revenge- to strike down those who hurt you, those who chased you away, those who forced you to hide in a dark, cold cavern- but a shuddering gasp from you quiets his desire for blood, cooling it to soft, fluttering concern in his chest. your eyes, previously screwed shut in pain, crack open as you look dazedly at Childe's Foul Legacy.
"Ajax...?"
ah. his God uttering his true name in such a gentle tone would normally make his heart soar, but now it simply makes him whimper, knowing you can barely see him through the haze of your sickness. your hand extends out from under the blankets, weakly grasping one of his claws, and in a moment of solemn, fretful reverence, he brings it to his mouth and presses his version of a kiss to your too-warm skin. you shift, attempting to scoot closer, and Childe carefully scoops you and the covers into his arms, resting his chin atop your head as you curl against his chest.
you let out a wracking cough, and Childe has to hold back a sob, instead focusing on purring smoothly to help you sleep, talons mindful of the injuries and bruises that litter your body.
holding his God close, Childe quietly watches the rain thin slightly as you find comfort in his hold.
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ramblesandstuff · 1 month
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I think Robin Hobb is the most interesting person on earth. "I hate when people assume my two main characters are romantically involved. I'm gonna write them having a daughter and dying together while merging their souls and calling each other by their own names btw"
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things I do to unstick my book
(I’m a pantser!)
Ask if this scene really needs to be a scene or if I can just summarize it
Ask if this summary really needs to be summary or if I need more scene
Write a very focused, very pretty sentence
Circle back a couple scenes & ask if one of them is causing “symptoms” later in the book
Get in and get out (push through a tough scene as fast as possible & then run forward and fast like wind to the next bit)
Add an exciting element (a new character, a change of location, other… things ;))
Pause and revise if I’m feeling destabilized
Be specific about what I DON’T like (example: I can’t get past this scene because the dialogue is so mechanical instead of “ahhh I hate it all”)
Read what I last wrote aloud (to hopefully sink into some momentum) OR get a robot to read it to me
Try a teeny tiny writing sprint (1-5 minutes of nonstop writing)
Write a flashback (bonus points if it’s connected emotionally or plot-wise to the fictive present)
Read from a literary godparent (this is when you pull out the books/stories/poems etc that make you excited about writing!)
Write or brainstorm every possible direction of a scene (sometimes grueling, sometimes worth it)
Sit and think (in a bathtub, on a walk—try to immerse yourself in your story like you’re a random character who got plopped in there; what do you see?)
Method write
Find a word that excites you and use that in your next scene
Double check if you’re hitting the right story beats (or if you skipped one, spent too long on one, spent too little on one, etc)
Write “bare bones” and come back to fine tune it later (similar to get in and get out)
Write with your eyes closed (be warned of incomprehensible text if you can’t type with closed eyes)
Break down your causal chain bit by bit (even the boring parts) and see if there’s a broken link. Then delete the boring parts (sometimes we just need to see how EXACTLY we got to a place and how EXACTLY that leads us to the important bit--I find I missed something critical when I do this).
Rely on crutch words, boring details & trust you can edit it later (sometimes the idea of perfection in draft 1 can be unproductive)
Ask a friend to read the work & tell you what they think (sometimes we need help; writing is hard)
Ask a friend for a compliment read (sometimes we just need to be hyped up)
Change the tense (temporarily & be warned that different tenses may require different approaches when drafting, I only do this when I’m not sure what else to try)
Talk myself through the problem as if I’m talking to a friend (I pull up my notes and literally start typing: “so I’m struggling with XYZ scene right now for XYZ reason and I don’t know what to do. What if XYZ happened, or what if I changed XYZ?”)
Take a break—sometimes I’m just tired/burnt out/not in the mood to write (that’s okay!)
I post more tips I’ve picked up along the way on youtube!
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eri-lessthan3 · 8 months
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Hey you
all of you complaining about tumblr live
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Seethe and cope 😎
Okay but seriously
Get yourself the Stylus extension For Firefox users: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-GB/firefox/addon/styl-us/ and for everyone else: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/stylus/clngdbkpkpeebahjckkjfobafhncgmne
Get the Old Tumblr Dashboard Style: https://userstyles.world/style/11286/old-tumblr-dashboard-2023
You should get this stuff even if you don't plan to remove tumblr live :3 Now here is where the magic comes from:
Stylus allows you to add custom css styles to websites, and you can edit themes made by other people to fit your needs!
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See that little fucker? How about we fuckin g kill it?
Press f12 to open the Developer Tools (or however it is called lmao)
Click on this little guy
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Now you can select an element on the website, and it will show where it is in the html!
3. Point
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Click on it, and now we will see something like this in the inspector!
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Collapse a bunch of this stuff, since here we only care about the list items, or <li>
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These are the different buttons in the banner
Now, how do we fucking kill that guy?
There are a number of ways to do this, so let's start with the simplest one
Delete
Just select the list item that has the title "Live" and press delete!
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So it is gone now, right?
Well... not really. If you refresh the page, it is back. Which makes sense, since the only thing we did is remove that part of the "code" (if you can call html "code"), but when we refreshed it, the server gave us a version of the site that obviously had the button still there.
So what is a smarter way to get rid of it?
While you can't really delete a specific part of the site with just css, you can hide it! To do that, all you have to do is apply the style display: none;
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Like that! While it doesn't fix the problem with the refresh, it brings us closer to the solution.
Remember when we got Stylus? yeah!
Go inside of it (😳), and inside the Old tumblr dashboard theme (😳😳), and now we just need to apply the css style of "remove that fucker" to the specific list item. How do we do that, since we can't add it directly into html? We use the attribute selector, and we look for title="Live"!
Where do I write this????
Well, css applies the styles from top to bottom of the style sheet (usually, this post is already too long), and you see how the list item has a few classes assigned to it? It so happens that they also modify the display property, so we have to override it by putting our selector after those in the css sheet... so basically you can just write the thingie at the end 😅
Here is how the attribute selector works!
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the .IYr09 part is that specific class, so that if there is ever something on this page that has the title="Live" but isn't what we are looking for, it won't apply there (You don't need to do this, but whatever). The attribute selector is written in the square brackets, and you just... write the attribute that you are looking for there ;P
(I also did the same for the Explore button, but that can be an exercise for the interested ;P)
And now, BEHOLD
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(How am I so popular that I got dms during the making of this >.&lt;)
And it will stay like this, forever*
*except if something happens to the addon, theme, css of it or whatever, but you get the point!
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yellowocaballero · 8 months
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The actual problem I'm having writing Kim Dokja is that I know KDJs here, on Tumblr.com. This website has thousands of people whose sole link to sanity is badly written media and their overly masculine and emotionally repressed comfort character. KDJ as a person is bugfuck insane but he is not as bugfuck insane as everybody on here putting their blorbos in jam jars and shaking them or sticking them into a blender. To be remotely representative of the KDJs in the real world you would have to make him so insane that he goes beyond his unhinged canon nature and straight into serial killer using cutsey talk category. It's unsustainable. KDJ is the voice of the people but the people's voices could call YJH a meow meow and make fancams of him in a fight.
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amethysts-prompts · 1 year
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Prompt #239
"You don't understand," Villain seethed, hand pushed tightly against their wound, "how hard I worked. I did..." They took several moments to pant and whimper through the pain. "I did everything I could, but you- you're the real monster here."
Hero was quiet.
"You don't"- they paused to groan. They kept bleeding, and it hurt. "You don't know me, Hero. You only see my actions; you don't- you don't consider their meanings."
******
Main writing blog: @amethystpath-writes
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boxboysandotherwhump · 3 months
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I polished an old piece of mine, trying to get into creating stuff again :3
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mysticsublimeperson · 2 months
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I want to express my frustration because... im trying to write some time travel Merthur fanfic as one does...
and I keep hitting my head against the same wall. Because just in case you didn't know England SUCKED before imperialism and colonialism.
Not that that made it better but, the English isles didn't have a variety of fruits or vegetables, the did have meat and fish and salt I think, but no sugar or way of producing it but honey if I remember correctly.
And admittedly climate change is a pain in the ass, but in medieval times the winters probably consisted in huge blizzards and freezing for 4 months.
They didn't even had tea!!!
All the good stuff its because of colonialism which is horrible for the world but whatever.
Im trying so hard to ignore this facts... to be free and write about silly angsty boys but I needed someone to know how difficult it is.
Because Merlin having lived in a 21 century would have spent since the 16th drinking bloody tea, and now he is back in time and doesn't have tea, doesn't even have sugar, it's a pain in the ass to get milk, and he can't even get his favorites foods because the fruits and vegetables aren't even evolved yet.
BECAUSE YES! All of the greens have suffered a tremendous amount of change because of selective farming!! so even if there were apples back there, they probably wasn't the same apple, probably weren't even half as sweet as they are now a days!
Same with animals, and plants. Many of the species have gone extinct but they existed back then. And im dying for a chance to bring this into the fic, to prove just how difficult the transition it's, but a the same time, it doesn't matter right? not really.
bUT I NEEDED TO VENT A LITTLE SO thank you for listening to my rant.
Also im not even a history girly, im an art babe, so all of this I know by logic and assumptions from my art history clases, and my hyper fixation, so obviously take everything with a grain of salt.
((It's just that I was cooking and I was trying to think which ingredients were available at that time to make the most simple dish but no, there was almost none, no spices, no tomato, I think the had cabbage, and like broccoli because its the same plant, but probably wasn't evolved into all of the different versions we know, they had beans, and lentils I think, the potatoes come from South America, so no potatoes, the had bread but what kind of bread??? sO YEAH, this is my head.. all the time))
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