#you would think that'll make me productive

[didiwaffles]

Recently I have been struggling to make any plans, even though it doesn't involve anyone else but me. Because what if I'll feel so bad tomorrow I can't get out of bed?

Mid 20s be like.

[yandere-daydreams]

Idk if Sex doll!au Alhaitham has been discussed yet…(honestly it probably has been, but it was likely during the times when I wasn’t keeping up to date with this blog. Tumblr’s shitty search function doesn’t help with finding out either.)

Anyway, I’d like to share my thoughts about it, if that’s okay.

-I think sex doll! Alhaitham would mostly be for professional and academic purposes. He’s not reccomended for younger grades, mostly just colleges.

-His general purposes are office/administrative related. Especially since he’s a “scribe”, he’s especially good at file management and documentation. I don’t think it be uncommon to see him assisting librarians alongside a Lisa model…or maybe helping archeologists/museums workers catalogue info about artifacts.

-I think his way of not doing anything more than what his job asks of him would stay even as an Android. I know that as a product, he’d probably wouldn’t be given leeway or time off like that; but the thought of someone trying to assign tasks to Alhaitham that are outside his designated role being ignored by him is funny to me.

-if Alhaitham is acting as a companion doll in someone’s home, I can only imagine that he’s incredibly annoying. Alhaitham normally chooses to ignore social etiquette, and as an android it has to be even worse.

tw - unhealthy relationships, slight infantilization, slight stalking.

i think he'd absolutely be marketed toward researchers as a sort of lab assistant who acts like you're the lab assistant, if that makes sense. he specializes in archival work and bureaucracy, but he's a bit of a jack-of-all-trades and it's not uncommon to see him alongside more outdoorsy androids like cyno and albedo when you're out doing fieldwork. he's also especially loved by students for his,,, strict attitude toward studying. you wouldn't think the ability to say 'i'm not touching your dick until you finish your thesis' would be such a popular feature in a literal sex doll, but, y'know, what does it for you does it for you, i guess.

you're not a student, though, or a researcher - just a librarian for a big enough branch to warrant writing off a helper android as a business expense. you probably could've gotten away with bringing on lisa or nahida, but you were able to find a second-hand alhaitham for a price you couldn't turn up and figured dealing with the occasional comment on your organization skills or catalog maintenance was better than wasting an extra thousand dollars on a robot that'll be reading to children twice a week. he works well enough, too, even if it does take a few days for him to get used to the idea that you won't be using him for his, uh, intended purposes. it just doesn't feel right, considering he's basically one of your employees - something he's surprisingly indifferent about, considering how judgemental he's rumored to be about, well, everything.

you do take him home at night, though, since the alternative is leaving him in a dark building alone all night and trying to live with the guilt. he's a polite enough houseguest, even if does occasionally let out a disapproving huff at your admittedly less-than-steller diet, but he does have a few... bugs, you guess, for lack of something better to call his little lapses in decorum. he's overstepped his boundaries a few times - taking pens and reports out of your hands because you 'have a tendency to mess these things up', checking on you in the middle of the night when he's supposed to be charging - but he'll never indulge your attempts to confront him, just clicking his tongue and shaking his eyes. sometimes, he brings up your stress levels, mentions off-handedly that orgasms are known to reduce overall tension, but denies that he's done anything wrong when you ask him to change his behavior. he's good at that - justifying himself, bending his protocols until he can get away with practically anything. you'd be lying if you said you weren't a little worried, knowing the awful rumors that spread about second-hand andriods, about how demeaning alhaitham can be when he's supposed to be little more than a platonic assistant.

you'd be lying if you said you weren't a little worried that, one day, he'd find a way to justify disregarding your autonomy altogether.

[midnightcinderella]

People who would suffer at NRC

Each dorm has at least one of these students and god help them. This is very self-indulgent and each trait applies to me. If you relate, then rip to the both of us.

No proof-reading, we rawdog this shit. Word count: ~1300 Notes: no gendered pronouns for reader. mentions of ADHD, depression, and anxiety. mentions of illness. no romantic relationships

Heartslabyul

People with ADHD. Rip to us fr.

You'd forget at least a handful of rules a day, but it's really not your fault. Riddle better get off your case istg.

The ones who are more devoted to remaining productive make big colorful signs all over the damn place.

In their own rooms would be stuff like a box that says "keys and wallet go here" or a sign by the door with a checklist of what they need before they go, like homework or textbooks.

There are signs in common areas, too. They'll say stuff like curfew times or reminders of jobs that need to be done around the dorm.

There's always backlash if Riddle tries to take them down for being an eyesore because not only do they help ADHD students remember what needs to be done but students without ADHD, too. No sane person is gonna be thinking about feeding flamingos 24/7.

Savanaclaw

People with asthma. Place is dusty as shit. And hot. And humid at times.

I'm surprised the beastman students haven't taken any measure to seal off the inside of the dorm to prevent and from getting in. Guess everyone doesn't mind inhaling dust straight into their lungs.

Not to mention regular exercise is a dorm-wide tradition. Shoutout to my fellow mile walkers <3

If you have asthma and a dander/dust allergy, I'd just drop out tbh.

People who easily overheat/sweat. Double rip to us.

Get ready to go back and forth with your dormmates about smelling bad after sweating. It's a common occurrence. Someone sasses you, you sass back, and you're friends again 3 minutes later.

Everyone will think you're dying when you're dripping sweat after some stretches outside. No, you're not tired, you're just hot.

Octavinelle

People who are bad at math/bad with money. Listen.

The dorm isn't full of people who are as business minded as Azul, but there are students that offer accounting help for a fee. Negotiate that fee for the love of god.

Thankfully, you won't be scammed out of house and home because:

(1) it's generally frowned upon to scam people within Octavinelle; you don't hurt one of your own. It's about loyalty.

(2) someone is likely to take pity on you and will throw you a bone, telling you about a huge sale or where to find good job opportunities.

People who are gullible. Once again, double rip.

And once again, thank the lucky stars that loyalty is such a big thing here so you might be tricked into doing someone's job for them like mopping the Lounge, but nothing that would hurt you too badly.

If a study partner tries to feed you false information for shiggles, that'll get shut down real quick by another student. If your grades go down, then the whole dorm goes with you.

Good thing that doesn't happen often, and Azul offers his study guides for a highly discounted price to his own.

Scarabia

People who don't do well with sudden changes in temperature. Man, listen.

Hellishly hot during the day and even more hellishly cold at night. Dante would be thrilled.

God forbid you have any athletic activities close to sunset because you'll have to shower off that sweat quick before you freeze to death.

If anyone has a problem with the sound of the hairdryer after sundown, they're just gonna have to deal with it or risk catching your inevitable cold.

Speaking of, if sudden changes in temperature make you sick, double rip. I know your pain.

Kalim may not be able to come see you in person, but if he finds out you're sick, he'll send meds and some warm food. If that food was made by Jamil, then you owe him one.

You don't wanna owe him one.

If you need to leave your room after sundown, you're going to do it wrapped up with a blanket over your head. If someone mistakes you for a ghoul, that's their own problem.

Pomefiore

People with depression. Listen. Someone without depression could find it hard to keep such a strict regimen day in and day out; do not expect too much out of us.

If you think that means you're getting out of it, though, you'd be wrong.

Group accountability is a thing here. If you need help sticking to your routine, you're getting it. You can't refuse.

You're all going to be beautiful together, goddammit.

If that chronic fatigue be hittin ya, you might get a pass for a few steps of your routine. But if a particularly caring dormmate decides you have to do the full routine and straight up does it for you, lol.

Depending on how you view that sort of help, it might be really nice. Or maybe a little humiliating.

The dorm kitchen is only going to have healthy ready-made snacks. So if it's a day where you can't cook or go all the way to the cafeteria, that is what you're working with. Either that or you crawl your way over the the Shop for a candy bar.

Ignihyde

People who struggle with technology. Yes there are young people who aren't great with technology. We exist. Mind your business.

No matter how many classes you take teaching you how to use MagExcel, it never sticks for long. Even if you pass the exams, all your knowledge leaves to go buy milk by the time the week is over.

You're gonna need to interrupt people's gaming sessions to ask for help. It may annoy them, but you're doing it anyway because you refuse the reinvent the wheel 12 times.

People who prefer paper over screens. Call me old fashioned but staring at screens all day Hurts My Eyes.

You'd get physical copies of your textbooks if you could, but those free pdfs your classmates pass around are too tempting to pass up. They're free, for god's sake.

You also might be limited to board games on game nights. They're not bad, but there's not a whole lot you can do with them. You're a wiz at Cards Against Reality tho.

Every so often Ignihyde has a dorm-wide game night where everyone sits around in the common room with their headphones in, playing their own games. Together.

Though the board game players are in the next room. Oddly enough, they're the rowdiest of the bunch, and it sounds like they have the most fun by the way they're yelling and cheering.

You have seen some nerd fights start over a game of Ichi.

Diasomnia

People who have anxiety. One, Lilia is a menace. Two, your housewarden is the Malleus Draconia. Meep.

Whether it's Lilia or Malleus you run into, it feels like your heart will explode at any time.

Not to mention it's so dark in and outside of the building for no good reason. What's a fella gotta do to get some fucking sunlight in here? You're sick of worrying about what could be behind every corner.

You once wondered if Malleus needed a UV/heat lamp, but knew better than to ask. That doesn't mean you're not curious, though.

People who dislike loud sounds. I don't think I have to explain this one.

At first you thought that staying near Silver meant that you'd be staying away from Sebek, but that wasn't the case and you were at a loss as to what to do.

Then you tried going in the other direction whenever you saw Malleus, but all that did was send Sebek after you personally, asking very loudly why you did not want to be around Lord Malleus.

At one point, you got sick of his shit and muzzled him via magic. Then Malleus showed up and you were all oh shit. But then all he did was chuckle about how you were getting along so well. You took that to mean he wouldn't ever stop you from muzzling Sebek.

You were right.

[mysteryshoptls]

SR Jamil Viper - Luxe Couture Vignette

"If I let this opportunity pass me by"

[Fairest City – Crystal Galleria]

Jamil: So, this is the "world's most beautiful plaza", the luxury shopping arcade Crystal Galleria.

Jamil: It's no wonder that the passage is lined with high-brand shops.

Ace: Woah! I totally dig those clothes in that shop's window! I'ma check 'em out.

Jamil: Hey, Ace! Ah man, I'll go and bring him back.

[Grim, Vil, and Azul look exasperated]

Shop Staff A: Welcome～!

Ace: Woooah! There's a ton of cool-lookin' clothes and accessories! This's so awesome!

Jamil: Hey… Don't just run off on your own. Come on, we're heading back to Vil-senpai.

Ace: It's just a little peek～ I saw somethin' I liked. Like see, like this T-shirt…

Ace: …Urk, it costs 100,000 Madol [1,000 Thaumarks]! That's waaay too expensive for me!

Jamil: That price is fairly standard for a high-brand shop… Hm?

Jamil: This stitching… It's pretty shoddy. Looks like they're using pretty low-quality cotton, too.

Jamil: Strangely, this doesn't look like the sort of thing that would be sold at this price.

Ace: Huh? Aren't T-shirts all made of the same stuff?

Jamil: Sure. But high-brand T-shirts are generally made with high-quality cotton.

Jamil: Better quality cotton is soft and have a nice feel to it.

Jamil: Not only does it not wrinkle easily, but when the cotton is made into T-shirts, it keeps its shape for longer and makes for a nice silhouette.

Jamil: The design of these other shirts isn’t too terrible… But the fabric quality is just too low.

Jamil: There's no way a shop selling at this level can have a store in the Crystal Galleria.

Jamil: Which means… They must have lowered the quality of their material after opening. Did they run into some kind of business issues?

Ace: Hey! That jacket's so rough-lookin' and cool! Excuse me, I'd like to try this on!

Shop Staff B: Ohh my, I'm sorry. I'm afraid that jacket cannot be tried on here.

Jamil: …

Ace: Huh? Really?

Shop Staff B: That's right. That is a really pricey jacket. If it is somehow dirtied or damaged, it would be on the customer to compensate the loss, wouldn't you say?

Jamil: …So essentially, he has to decide to buy it or not without trying it on?

Shop Staff B: Well, I guess that's right.

Jamil: …Would I be allowed to try these slacks on?

Shop Staff A: Unfortunately, that won't be possible either. Sorry.

Jamil: Ah, right. Thought as much.

Ace: C'mon. Isn't that a stupid rule?

Middle-aged Man: Oh nice, this is a pretty nice shop. The prices seem pretty reasonable, too.

Shop Staff B: Oh, what an important looking customer! Welcome～! Is there something in particular you're looking for?

Middle-aged Man: I'm wanting a jacket, see… Think you have something that'll suit me?

Shop Staff A: Well, if that's the case, how about this one? It's one of our most popular designs.

Shop Staff B: I'm sure it will be perfect for you. Please, try it on!

Ace: Wha―!? But when I asked earlier, they said it wasn't allowed to be tried on!!

Shop Staff A: Students like you can't possibly buy something like that, so there's no reason for you to try it on, is there?

Shop Staff B: Please go home before you start to disturb our other customers. We don't have the free time to be dealing with you two.

Ace: Huh...!?

Jamil: …Not only are their products low-quality, but so are the staff's customer service.

Jamil: There's no reason to stick around in a shop like this. Let's go meet up with Vil-senpai and the others.

[Fairest City – Crystal Galleria]

Ace: Wha was that all about, treatin' us like dirt just 'cause we're students!? That was terrible service. That pissed me off so much!

Ace: First they shoo us out, then they play all buddy-buddy up to the rich-lookin' guy.

Jamil: I bet that since they've been rubbing elbows with the rich and famous while working at that high-brand store…

Jamil: They've completely started to think that they've improved their own social standing.

Jamil: Thinking about those sorts of folks and getting upset about it is a waste of time. Just shake it off.

Jamil: Only the best brands, in both name and reputation, will flourish here at the Crystal Galleria.

Jamil: I can't tell if they had a change in management since opening, or if they've suffered business losses…

Jamil: But from what I saw, I can't imagine that place continuing to be suitable for this passage.

Jamil: Even if we do nothing, I'm sure they'll have no choice but to close down eventually.

Ace: It could ruin a brand's rep if they got kicked out of the Crystal Galleria. That'd feel sooo good to see, though!

―The next day

Jamil: I really can't relax at all while at Vil-senpai's side. I'll have to relax as much as I can during my personal free time here.

Jamil: Maybe I'll check out the café at the far end of the Crystal Galleria.

Jamil: Hm? This shop looks… I guess I can check it out.

Clerk: Welcome! Please feel free to look around.

Jamil: …This place is completely different than the one yesterday. Now, where's that outfit I saw in the window…?

Jamil: Ah, here it is. I thought it looked like a pretty nice jacket from outside, but the pockets and lining give off a more casual feel.

Jamil: This isn't something I see often. The material is good and the sewing and embroidery is delicately done…

Clerk: Would you like to try it on? Come this way.

Jamil: Thank you.

Jamil: Yeah, the size is good and it fits well. I think this color also actually goes well with the clothes I brought with me, too…

Jamil: …How much is this jacket?

Clerk: That would be 50,000 Madol [500 Thaumarks].

Jamil: I see. Would you allow me to think on it?

Clerk: Of course! And please take your time to look at our other items.

Jamil: A 50,000 Madol jacket… That's a bit of a steep price for me… Hmm…

Jamil: The fabric's quality, the design, and the superb stitching make this very high quality…

Jamil: If I think of those factors, even 50,000 Madol is fairly cheap. Also…

Jamil: I've found this in the Crystal Galleria, of all places. If I let this opportunity pass me by, there won't be another chance to buy something like this.

Jamil: …Excuse me. Could I purchase the jacket I tried on earlier?

Clerk: Absolutely. I'll go fetch a new one for you. Please wait a moment.

Jamil: Sure.

Jamil: …I was able to buy a sensible jacket from a reasonable shop here in the Crystal Galleria.

Jamil: Yeah. I'm definitely satisfied with this. And I'm sure this'll be a great memory.

[Fairest City – Queen's Palace]

Shop Staff A: KYAAA! VIL-SAMAAA! YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL!!

Shop Staff B: SO BEAUTIFUL! I JUST HAVE TO GET A PICTURE OF THAT STUNNING FACE!

Jamil: Hm? I think I saw those two screaming fans over there yesterday...

Shop Staff A: Oh, look! Do you think those guys walking alongside Vil-sama are models too? Should we ask for an autograph?

Shop Staff B: EXCUSE ME!! PLEASE GIVE US YOUR AUTOGRAPH!!

Jamil: …Hahah! You sure you want my autograph?

Shop Staff B: Absolutely! …Wait, huh? I feel like I've seen him before…

Shop Staff A: Wait! Isn't he that customer that we turned away yesterday…!?

Jamil: I'm honored that a mere student like myself would stir your recollections.

Shop Staff A: Wh-Who would have thought he'd be so famous to walk the tapis rouge…? And he looks so good in that outfit!

Shop Staff B: If we had sold clothing to those boys yesterday, it might've been such good publicity!!

Shop Staff A: H-Hey! Once you're finished here, would you care to come visit our shop once more?

Shop Staff B: We have a collection of garments that would look fabulous on you! Please allow us to design your new look!

Jamil: I have to decline. Your shop does not have any article of clothing that would suit me.

Jamil: After all, just as you said yesterday, there is no need to try anything on.

Shop Staff A/B: U-Uhhh… So when we said that yesterday, uh…

Jamil: If that is all, perhaps you should head home now? Not only are you bothering others around you…

Jamil: But I also do not have the free time to be dealing with you, either.

Requested by @ordinaryanon.

[brewed-pangolin]

Inspired by your thoughts on tea, since we know Soap makes fun of Ghost during the Alone mission for asking for a cuppa... do you think Soap would make tea for his wife? Tease her about it but always make sure her favored brand is in the pantry?

Umm...I might have gone a little overboard with this. Oopsies. (But I loved it so much!!)

Johnny would absolutely tease his love for your certain affection and acquired tastes towards tea.

Always muttering little quips under his breath as you meticulously scrutinize the herbal tea aisle of the grocery store for the better part of half an hour.

--

"Steamin Jesus, gonnae be growin' roots inta th'floor if this takes any longer."

You roll your eyes at him. Too lost in mulling over whether to go with the tried and true chamomile tea bags you've been using for years, or venture out and take a chance on the loose tea you've been reading so much about.

You decide, after much internal deliberation, to go with both.

Once at the checkout lane, you survey the ever growing line of products and can't help but notice that two of your newly cherished items seemed to have miraculously disappeared.

"What's th' bloody difference?" Soap's sudden interjection pulls your eyes towards him. Holding both boxes in his hands, eyes shifting back and forth to give each parcel a quick yet thorough inspection.

"Th's ones tea in a bag. And th's ones loose. So what, ones caged and th'others free range?"

"It's basic chemistry, smartass," you snap back. Snatching both boxes out of his hands, adding them back to the line along the grocery belt.

"You should know something about that, Soap. Being a demolitions expert and all."

"Aye, I am. Rarely havin' to deal wit botanicals though, sweetheart."

An amused sigh escapes your lips, shaking your head as you point to each box and explain in lamens' terms the difference to the ill educated Scot.

"Tea bags are good for quick steaps, inexpensive and easily accessible. But they also grow bitter quickly, are only good for one-time use, and generally have one dominant aromatic note."

You give him pause, narrowing your eyes and gander whether he's understanding your descriptive breakdown or altogether lost like a deer in headlights. His cocked eyebrow indicates the former, allowing you to continue.

"Loose tea has numerous aromatic tones, a longer shelf life, greater variety, and one scoop can be brewed multiple times. Yes, they're quite a bit more expensive and take longer to steap, but the pros outweigh the cons pretty unanimously."

"So why ya buyin' both then, bonnie?"

"The same reason you buy two bottles of the same whisky? One single malt and the other blended. Different brewing styles bring out different keynotes in taste. It's simple chemistry and, why are you looking at me like that?"

You question abruptly. His cerulean eyes gazing upon you with the warmth of a summer's dawn. And carrying with it a smile that would make any young mare weak and tremble at the knees.

"Yer so fuckin' cute when ya go on a tangent like that, bonnie. Cannae help but get lost in ya," he whispers. His thumb gently wrapping around the curve of your chin as he leisurely closes the distance between you.

"Um. Excuse me?"

A sudden, unfamiliar voice tears you both out of your enchanting eye lock, forcing you to break from his gaze and focus on the somewhat embarrassed expression of the young cashier.

"That'll be $78.95, ma'am."

--

Not even two months later, you turned John MacTavish into a class act tea brewing connoisseur. Something about the chemical intricacies of it seemed to pull at the explosive alchemy that flowed so easily within his mind.

Boiling the water to the perfect alloted time and temperature. Pouring it carefully over the filled infuser that he measured out like an artisanly skilled brewer. He even had an app that would indicate the steeping time for each distinct batch of tea leaves.

And as he brought the expertly steeped brew up to you in bed, you couldn't help but give yourself a theoretical pat on the back to turning the once tea scoffing Scot into a true master brewer.

"Simon would be proud, John." You teased, bringing the porcelain rim of elegantly decorated cup to your lip.

And Soap answered first with a icy glare, followed quickly by his typical brogish banter.

"Donnae fuckin' dare, lass."

Drabbles Masterlist

[hannie-dul-set]

who in enhypen would agree to platonically kiss you.

because i feel like i have to do this for every group i write, so expect me to word vomit a tubatu version soon after this one.

seventeen ver. / 127 ver. / dream ver.

heeseung: honestly you thought he'd agree without a second thought, but a smirk suddenly plays on his lips and he pulls out the "what if i don't want to? what are you gonna do?" and you'd rather die than have him bask in your mortification, so you turn around. run away. try to run away, but the bitch suddenly pulls you into his lap and oh. you can feel his breath on your lips. his grip is firm on your waist. you're actually about to fucking kiss him BUT— "ah. sorry. i changed my mind." | rating: 0/10 but maybe if u change ur tune from platonic to romantic, then he'd agree.

jay: "can i think about it first?" jay isn't one to jump into hasty decisions, especially one that can permanently change the trajectory of your ten year long friendship for better or for worse just so you can make some hairless bitch jealous. he thinks about it. he's thinking. he's thinking very hard about it, until one day he finally says okay "okay" "? okay what?" "let's make out" "??? jay i asked u that favor five months ago what do u—" | rating: 5/10 delayed but u got him?? to kiss u??? but??? now u have a new problem because park jongseong, what are we?

jake: he knows you kissed him at the party last night to get ur cheating ex off ur ass. he knows that and he was totally, 100% completely fine with it. he can totally pretend like nothing happened. absolutely. just doing a friend a favor. a buddy. a pal. a good 'ol mate. that is until exactly one month passes by and he suddenly says "oh damn haha happy kissmonthsary babe u have any more exes to drive away hahaha just asking haha." | rating: 8/10 you're sure a kissmonthsary doesn't exist, but how can u deny him when he's twiddling his fingers like a schoolgirl with a first crush.

sunghoon: flustered flustered flustered "i'm sorry? haha i mean ofc u want to kiss me who wouldn't hahhahaha anw ur joking right—" you aren't. sunghoon starts sweating and he's nervous and about to piss himself because if he says no, you're gonna think he's a LOSER (you already know he's a loser) a big fucking LOSER (sunghoon, you are a loser). | rating: 3/10 on the first try because the moment your lips touched he turned into stone. he may be a loser but he's a prideful loser so expect his score to increase with each try at his insistence.

sunoo: "hey sunoo, i need ur help. can i ki—" cue his aggressive side eye. cue the absolute look of disgust on his face at the mere insinuation that you want to kiss him without strings attached. how dare you. | rating: 1/10 because you did get to kiss him in the end. you did. but before that you had to ask permission from his parents (heeseung and jake), you had to meet his actual parents, you had to exchange vows at the altar, and— wait this isn't exactly platonic anymore isn't it?

jungwon: jokes on u jungwon orchestrated the whole thing that'll lead you to asking him. he gave you a lipstick as birthday present and he's like "sorry haha i'm not sure if it's a good one the saleslady said it doesn't smudge but idk." there it goes. seed planted. all that's left is for you to ask him if he....wants to help u test it out.....yanno.....as friends. and before you know it the red tint is now smudged between your lips and his, smiling victoriously into your mouth because yes. his plan worked. | rating: 10/10 because you suddenly have a dozen new lip products and "hey. should we test if these also smudge or not?"

ni-ki: "oh sure. go ahead." he agrees to it SO easily that you suspicious, eyes narrowed, but you set it aside for now and lean closer to his face but WOOSH. he's swerved away. "riki stay still, what are u—" WHOOSH. he's five steps away. you see the look on his face. the shit eating grin saying, if you wanna kiss me, come and get it and oh it's on, nishimura. | rating: 2/10 because you end up chasing him all over the parking lot and jake asked if he can join your game of tag.

[unfortunately-obsessed]

Bruce Wayne | Quality Time

Love languages headcanons

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x reader

Word count: 0.6k | AO3 link 🩵

This man runs a whole conglomerate, dozen different charity foundations, has to play into whatever current political ploy is to earn information, (might have, like, 20 children), is a founding member of the JL, on top of being The Batman and trying to prevent Gotham from imploding – trying to make this unfixable city heal.

He nearly doesn't have enough time for himself – heavens know how many times Alfred shoot him with a horse tranquilizer – and time to you??

All his responsibilities are half the reason why quality time is his love language.

The other half is that he didn't have enough time with his parents. They were snatched from him, a child, and this time (his childhood) is something he'll never be able to have back

Not gonna lie, he's harsh. He won't prioritize you. Not on purpose, not because he doesn't love you, simply because there's people out there that need to be saved. And, after so much time without a proper relationship, maybe Bruce also doesn't know how to cater for you – and because he's way too awkward, too dense to a detective, even if he can play cool at times.

But the tiny things are like love letters:

Strikes to me as the guy that'll be in utterly destroyed, broken ribs and concussion, and still try and get up and have breakfast with you, just to be with you

His personal quiet time is important to him. It helps him organize his thoughts. Yet he'll try to be, at least, in the same room as you.

Bruce will sit on the same room as you, in complete silence, and stay. Maybe you're working and he is there on the couch of your office, sitting with a concussion and sixty percent painkiller, statue-quiet.

I love you, so I'll take the burden of not doing this super important other thing – like resting – to sit with you in silence.

Will stare at you, motionless.

Eventually, you'll learn that this face he's making is lovestruck-ness. Don't comment on it.

And if his love language is all about undivided attention, it means he'll learn how to organize his time to have together time without all the distractions. A walk around the Manor Garden, a quiet dinner in front of the tv, cuddling; might do the trick.

Stays awake to talk with you, even if it's after a case frenzy where he didn't sleep for a week. Crash with him in the couch after a long day.

If I could stay with you here forever, I would. He can't get this words out, a lump on his throat, so he just stay as long as he can

Can't tell me he won't marathon Grey Ghost with you. At the end of every episode will dump on you all the details about the production. It's important that you listen even if you don't find it all interesting. Connection bids, y'know?

Ask him about forensics if you want to know more about the whole Batman deal. Or explain the new additions to the batmobile.

Getting to explain something he loves to someone he loves counts as top-quality time in Bruce's books.

Sometimes will find you just to start explaining a current case he can't crack. Either to see if you have any intelligent idea, but mostly because saying it aloud helps thinking.

And he doesn't know how to have the steady heartfelt conversations, so he'll listen to you talk. About your day, your plans, how much you worry about him, about what you ate today.

A great listener. Will hit you with follow up questions so you can keep talking about what you love. Never talks about him but at this point you know the drill – you have to ask for him to talk.

Regular week preplanned dates. Will do all in his powers to not postpone it. Will be completely heartbroken when this inevitably happens. Will look like a kicked puppy.

He's not distracted with you, all his mental attention on you and you only.

That's it 👍

A/N: If you like what I do, please consider supporting me and buying a coffee!

[wild-magic-oops]

People really be bending backwards in order to defend Larian and the consistent way that Gale is treated worse than other companions. Truly baffling behavior, but I guess that's what happens when people can't extend the same amount of care to characters other than their favs, and think Larian is amazing for doing what should be the bare minimum in the industry actually (but the industry is so shit that people are ready to praise and defend any studio which doesn't try to rob them while spitting in their faces). Not criticizing obvious flaws won't get you a better product next time, and since I'm a petty person - I hope everyone who's telling people it's not a big deal now have the next character they're really into be the one done dirty by both the creators and the fandom.

Another thing I've never seen anyone bring up is how Gale is specifically the only companion whom Durge can kill due to an urge (which is even worded in a way which you can't guess the outcome of). Where's the urge option to kill Astari*n while he attacks you hm? Or that's right, there isn't one. Guess the fuck why. And retaliating while attacked makes a ton more sense, but sense is not smth that Larian bothers with much when it comes to their preferences.

And people choosing to indulge the urge and explaining how it's in character... I bet the majority would be finding loopholes real quick if it was their fav getting killed instead. Double standards is smth that really irks me and they're just so apparent in this fandom, it's exhausting.

Gale is also a companion you can accidentally kill instead of recruit by failing a simple dice roll. That's all it takes.

Both of those instances are smth very much outside of Gale's writer's control, so immediately the bias is showing, how easy it is to kill him.

So please, by all means, keep defending a company against the fans' criticism based on clear observations (which other people have brought up, not specifically what I talked about in this post) which you just don't want to acknowledge, I'm sure that'll work out so nicely for you the moment your preferences stop aligning with theirs.

And if you're a Gale fan who doesn't care and think people are overreacting - you do you, but the way Gale's exploding ending is treated gives really ugly irl implications which can't be ignored. Characters are fictional, but the way certain types are treated speaks of irl biases, and if you can't realize that, I really don't know what to tell you honestly. But aside from all that - professionals shouldn't let their biases show. But they did and continue to do, and that alone is definitely 100% worthy of criticism.

[tevanbuckley]

the writers were originally gonna pair tommy up with eddie (which i would have massively preferred btw) so it's not even like they looked at tommy and buck's characters and thought that they would be compatible they literally just went 'this ship is really popular but we're not gonna make TWO characters gay that's crazy, let's just bring back this old throwaway side character and give one of them a cliched coming out story with him, that'll get the queers off our back' and it's working because so many people have so little self respect. anyway i hope tommy dies and buck and eddie fuck nasty on his grave.

how are you going to sit there and say with your whole chest that eddie "catholic guilt comp-het" diaz would have the less cliche coming out arc?

sorry but a storyline about a character in his 30s discovering his bisexuality and struggling with the discomfort he's feeling because he doesn't have a problem with queer people so why is he weirded out by this? Is a much fresher take on a coming out storyline than "sexually repressed man with disapproving religious family realises he's gay", which as much as I love eddie (and that's 100% my reading of his character too) is a very well tread path. i could be wrong but tim's "I wasn't really interested in doing the bravest [coming out] episode of 1985," comment kinda makes me think that's why they decided against an eddie coming out arc.

maybe if you all weren't busy hunting for b*ddie clues you could've seen some of that.

"literally just went 'this ship is really popular but we're not gonna make TWO characters gay that's crazy", oh you were in the production meeting were you? big news if true.

you're the one spending your days watching a show you don't even seem to like and then sending anon hate about it like someone's paying you, out of the two of us who do you think lacks self respect here?

[starryeyedjanai]

no better time than now

kinktober prompt: edgeplay | steddie + gareth | explicit

read on ao3

When Gareth sees he has a snapchat video from Steve as he's walking out of his office to go to an all staff meeting, he doesn't think anything of it.

Why would he?

Steve's not the one who routinely sends him lewd or sometimes nude pictures of himself.

That would be Eddie - the menace who somehow conned Gareth into joining his harem of men.

That's a bit dramatic, but he thinks having a minimum of four paramours he's fucking is kind of excessive. But he digresses.

Steve is definitely the tamer one of the two, but that's not to say he isn't into all the same stuff as Eddie. Gareth sometimes joins in on their little romance, fucking himself on Steve's cock while Eddie looks on and tells him how fast to go. Or sometimes Eddie fucks Steve as Steve is sucking Gareth's dick, both of their eyes on him.

So he knows how Steve is separate from Eddie and he knows how they are together.

The point is, Steve sending him a video during the work day is usually some story about something Eddie did, so he doesn't think twice about opening it as he's walking down the hall, earbuds plugged into his phone already from a previous call, but not in his ears, the wires bunched up in his hand.

Gareth's face flushes red so fast his head spins and he immediately turns on his heel and walks directly back to his office, closing the door behind him.

Because he's looking at a video of Steve's mouth wrapped around Eddie's cock, his eyes all hazy with pleasure as he looks at the camera.

He presses a hand down on his cock, as if that'll stop it from getting hard as he watches the series of videos of Steve sucking Eddie off.

The last video ends with Steve pulling off Eddie's cock, a line of spit lingering between his mouth and the tip of Eddie's dick.

Gareth stands there with his back to the door, his hand pressing on his dick, wondering what he did in a past life to deserve this.

In the middle of a work day???????? he puts in the chat, waiting for a response.

His phone pings several times in a row as the next set of videos comes in.

He closes his eyes and debates just leaving his phone here in his office and walking to his meeting. It's what he should do.

He should leave and go to the meeting.

But the temptation is too strong. He opens his eyes and presses the purple square because he has no self control and he's already a little half-hard.

The video starts with the front facing camera on Eddie and he's saying something so Gareth quickly shoves his earbuds in his ears as he turns the volume up, walking over to his chair to sit down.

"Sorry, Gare. Steve has been so impatient this afternoon. We're working on his patience and he needs an audience for all his good work. Jeff and Grant got these too, so at least you're not alone," Eddie says, a twinkle in his eyes.

The sound of sucking in the background makes Gareth's jaw clench.

The camera flips around onto Steve, laying on his stomach on their bed, one hand on Eddie's dick, stroking it gently, as he sucks one of Eddie's balls into his mouth. His eyes are closed and he looks so fucking content slobbering all over Eddie's balls.

The video ends and Gareth feels lightheaded.

He opens up his text thread with Grant and Jeff and texts them if you plan on getting anything productive done today, do not open the snapchat videos from Steve.

From Jeff, he gets the message: too late 😔

Grant says thanks for the heads up. we can all watch it together on my phone later if you want?

Gareth texts them back: I am definitely taking you up on that Freak. And: Jeff, I cannot believe you saw it and let me open it at work.

It JUST happened. I'm also compromised here is Jeff's reply.

He's about to send something back when a slurry of pings and notifications tell him that Eddie's sent them more videos. Because it's obviously not Steve sending these videos. He's going to kill that man one day.

He opens up Slack and messages his boss that he's suddenly not feeling well and has to miss the meeting. The thumbs up on his message he receives is more than enough, so he gets up and locks his door.

He sits back down and opens up the snapchat video and the camera is still on Steve, who's back to sucking Eddie down his throat. With the noises in his ear - the loud slurps, Eddie's soft moans - it feels like he's there, almost. Like he's in the room with them, watching as Steve's gentle mouth on his cock pulls noises from Eddie's throat.

Eddie reaches down with the hand not holding the phone and taps Steve's hand on his hip. Steve pulls his mouth off him with a loud pop.

"What's the lesson here today, sweetheart?" Eddie asks.

Steve lets out a sigh and says, "That I can't always have your come when I want it."

Gareth has to clench his hand, his nails digging into the palm of his hand, so that he doesn't groan out loud at that.

"You're impatient," Eddie's voice says. "It's so much better when you work for it, right honey?"

Steve isn't glaring up at the camera like Gareth would be if Eddie used that condescending tone of voice with him - he's looking up reverently, even though Gareth can tell he's a little frustrated.

He types in the chat How long has it been? because Steve getting frustrated is a sign that it's probably been going on for far longer than Gareth would have the patience for.

The next video, Eddie tells Steve, "Gareth wants to know how long it's been."

Steve looks up and drags his mouth off Eddie's cock. He says, "It's been hours," with a whine.

Eddie laughs behind the camera. "It's been one hour tops."

Has Steve come? he asks them after the video ends.

"No, he hasn't come yet either. He's being so good today," Eddie says, stroking a hand through Steve's hair as he sucks hard on his dick, hollowing his cheeks. "He's just been between my legs, sucking me until I say stop and then biting me when he gets frustrated."

Eddie's voice is so fucking fond as he says that, laughing and petting Steve's hair.

Gareth can see the bite marks. Eddie's thighs are littered in red and purple marks from Steve's mouth on him.

"You wanna show him how nicely you ask for-" Eddie starts to ask and the video cuts off.

Gareth reaches down to adjust his dick in his pants.

The next video starts with Steve saying, "Can I bite you please?" with his mouth hovering above Eddie's thigh.

"Why do you wanna bite me?" Eddie asks.

"Because this is hard!" he says, annoyance seeping into his voice.

"It is hard, baby," Eddie says with a laugh, using his hand to tap tap tap his hard cock against Steve's cheek.

Steve pouts up at the camera.

Jesus fucking christ. They're ridiculous.

But Gareth is sweating, and his dick is straining against his slacks.

He can't jerk off at work.

He can't jerk off at work, right?

Everyone, the entire staff, is at the meeting in the conference room on the first floor, so it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to whip his cock out here and jerk off to this, would it?

There's the off chance that someone might leave the meeting to go to the bathroom, but would they venture up to the third floor for a bathroom break? He doesn't think so.

He weighs the options in his head as he waits for the next set of videos to come.

The worst scenario is that someone might hear him, but he's really good at being quiet - years of sharing a wall with the living room of his house and then years of sneaking off to the bathroom to jerk off in college with just the door separating him and his roommate has taught him how to be near silent when he comes.

He thinks he could do it.

He could watch and listen to what's probably the end of Eddie and Steve's "lesson" and jerk himself off slowly, like he's a part of it too, like the lesson in patience is for him too.

Fuck, that's probably part of the reason why Eddie sent it to him. He's also too impatient sometimes, and Eddie makes sure to punish him for it.

The next set of videos comes through and he unzips his pants, decision made, and gets his cock out. He grabs the box of tissues on his desk and slides it closer.

Eddie's hand is in Steve's hair as Steve sucks a mark into his thigh, biting and pulling the blood under his skin to the surface. Steve pulls back and presses a kiss to the new mark.

"Good boy. You wanna get on your knees and show your boys how good you are for me, not coming this entire time?"

Steve eagerly nods and pulls himself up between Eddie's legs, tucking his knees under him. His cock is hard and red and dripping.

He strokes it slowly, angling it up so Gareth can see the cock ring around the base of his cock.

Gareth thinks he needs one of those right about now. He strokes his cock as he watches Steve stroking himself, spreading the precome down his cock until his cock is shining with it.

He probably isn't going to last very long despite just starting, between the need that's coursing through his veins and the fact that he's doing this in his fucking office.

Steve shudders as he speeds up a little, the slide slick as he humps up into his hand a little. He fists his cock for another few moments before pulling his hand away. He's breathing heavily as his cock twitches and more precome drips from the tip.

Gareth's cock twitches in sympathy.

He gets back on his stomach between Eddie's thighs and Eddie says, "Open your mouth sweetheart."

Steve opens his mouth and Eddie's cock thrusts inside. The choking noise as he hits the back of Steve's throat is so loud, but the video cuts off a second later.

This is torture, seeing these little snippets and not having the real thing. He loves watching them together. He never really knew he was into voyeurism until meeting them. He didn't know he was into a lot of things before he met them actually.

And being so far away from them, seeing these videos that end abruptly, having them talking and moaning in his ears- it's not enough. He wishes he was with them right now - between them, watching them, anything.

He sets his phone on his desk and leans forward in his chair so he can see it and so that when he comes, he won't get any of it on his clothes. The chair mat beneath him is much easier to clean than his pants if he accidentally gets any on it.

Eddie's thrusting comes to a stop as Gareth opens the next video a minute later.

"You've been so good. Do you think you deserve it now?" Eddie asks and Steve nods slowly, pulling back to nuzzle into the crease of his hip. "I think so too. Go ahead, sweetheart."

Fuck. Gareth starts stroking himself faster, tightening his fist around the head of his cock on every stroke.

Steve sticks his tongue out and licks a stripe up Eddie's cock before sucking the head into his mouth. He uses his right hand to stroke Eddie's cock fast and tight, licking around the head, tonguing the frenulum.

"Fuck, Stevie," Eddie says, his voice strained. He thrusts up into his grip, and into the warmth of Steve's mouth.

Gareth grips himself tighter, knowing Eddie's going to come soon.

Steve takes his hand off Eddie cock and opens his mouth wider, relaxing his jaw as Eddie thrusts up into his mouth roughly again.

Gareth can hear the way Eddie's cock fucks into Steve's throat. Eddie's guttural moans are loud in his ear as he chases his orgasm in Steve's mouth.

Gareth speeds up his hand in time with Eddie's thrusts, his breathing getting heavier. He almost can't bite back the groan that forms in his throat when the video cuts off. His phone pings almost immediately with more videos, so he doesn't even have to slow his hand down before he's seeing them again.

Eddie continues to use Steve's throat like a fleshlight and Gareth's balls draw up as he watches on.

Eddie moans loudly as he comes, the first spurt probably going directly down Steve's throat. He pulls back and jerks himself through it, his come pulsing out over Steve's tongue, on his lips, on his chin.

Gareth shudders, looking at Steve's face, and he comes hard as Steve's tongue darts out to lap at the head of Eddie's cock, digging into the slit like he wants more. Another glob of come spurts out onto his tongue.

Gareth cups the head of his cock in one hand as he comes, stroking himself through it silently. He pants through it as the video ends, shivers running through him.

He leans forward and puts his head on his desk as he comes down.

He can't believe he just did that.

He picks up his phone and sends them a snapchat of his hand still coated in come, the text across the screen reading I hope you're fucking happy.

He cleans himself up, but still feels so dirty afterwards.

He's lucky he only has another couple hours of work and no more meetings today. There's no way he could sit in front of any of his coworkers and look them in the eye knowing that a wad of tissues coated in his come is sitting in his trash can, buried between random flyers.

He's also lucky his boss thinks he's sick, because that means she's probably not going to be beating down his door after the meeting ends. He opens the window in his office to air it out

He gets a snap back from Eddie a couple minutes later, a picture this time.

It's Steve, on his back, come streaked up his chest, coating his chest hair. He looks so fucking blissed out, his cheeks red as he smiles at the camera. Gareth's heart pangs in his chest. He can't wait to see them later.

There's no text on the screen, but he knows they'll probably make fun of him for jerking off at work later. Or at least Eddie will. He's such a menace.

He opens up his text thread with just Jeff and sends Do you wanna get Steve and Eddie back tomorrow for making us horny at work?

I thought you'd never ask is Jeff's immediate reply.

[youling-the-ghost]

sfth incorrect quotes pt.6 because somehow I'm the most productive in the middle of the night (the generator)

Tom: Why is there blood everywhere?

Luke: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife. Tom: You stabbed someone?! Luke: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife. AJ: Hey, what are you reading? Sam: This is my magic book where any ink spilled shows a scripture of the future, however it bears a curse making it broken, and as such in order to make any scripture appears, I have to do it myself. AJ: Impressive! I must have it for myself! Tom: So it’s just a Notebook? Sam: It’s just a Notebook. Tom: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this? Luke: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

Tom: I'm going to take a shower, I'll be right back. Luke: Why are you telling me this, I don't care. Luke, right after Tom leaves the room: I miss him already. Luke: Assert your dominance over your friends by kicking them in the face, and then giving them a little smooch on the forehead! Luke: You don't think I can fight because of my height! Sam: I don't think you can fight because you're in a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Tom can fight in that dress either. Tom: Perhaps not. But I would make a radiant bride. Tom: Why are you late? Sam: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness. Tom: Overslept? Sam: Overslept. Tom: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?! AJ: It's kind of complicated, but Sam and Luke- Tom: Got it. Forget I asked. Sam: Luke is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life! Tom: Never done anything wrong?! He set a city block on FIRE!

AJ: What's the signal when something goes wrong? Sam: We yell, "oh shit." Tom: ...That'll work. Luke: I bet you can’t make a sentence without the letter "A"! Tom: You thought you just did something there, didn’t you? Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but numerous sentences could be constructed without employing the first letter of the English lexicon. AJ: Fuck you. Sam: I’m totally useless. Tom: You’re not totally useless. Tom: You can be used as a bad example. AJ: When do you usually go to sleep? Luke: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods. Tom: Is… Is that meant to be on fire? Luke: No… not really. Tom: Are you going to do something about it? Luke: Hm… nah. Tom: Luke learned how to fold origami penguins from Sam the other day. I told him, "I feel a little bad for the penguins, it’s hot here." And the next day he put them in the fridge. Sam: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can’t take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth. Sam, barging in: Syphilis! AJ: Sam: AJ: Pardon? Luke, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day? Tom: ... Tom: What’s in the box? Luke: What woul- Tom: Luke, what’s in the box? Luke: I think you know. Sam: Today at 7 am, Tom poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Luke: I watched Tom brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm. AJ: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

[tparker48]

It was test week as Perez rushed to study for his exam, flipping through his small notes as he looked for information to grab. He flipped to the slides, speed reading through the contents as best he could, but his brain couldn't handle the length of the reading. It fried before he got to the end of the first page, pacing around the room anything that'll dismay him. That is, until Todd came into the room.

"You're freaking out bud" Todd said, closing the front door as he approached his friend.

"Freaking out? I'm off the walls! How am I gonna get this test done! I haven't studied a thing! Oh my Linebacking days are numbered."

Perez crashed upon the couch, his Thighs separating the cushions to make room for himself. He passed gas, its stench simmering through the cushions to the clear air above. Todd knew this stage of all too well, it's his coping mechanism. He grabbed a folder from the table, fanning against the stench as he guided himself to his best friend. He hated seeing him like this, the big guy really needed a breather. He transformed himself into a thin lining of tissue, carrying himself along the wing of the cool wind as he landed along his lap.

"Hanky?" Todd asked.

Among his wallowing, Perez gazed at him, picking up the corner of the tissue as he blew into it. tossing the used tissue along the pillow next to him. "Thanks.."

Todd nodded, forming back to his human form as he sat along the couch. His shirt coated with green snot, its murky stream climbing to his lap and soaking into his pants. He took off his shirt and tossed it away, turning back to Perez as he placed a palm at his shoulder. "You don't need those notes anyway, you've got me to help you out."

"The last I checked, you can't count worth for shit."

"Hey, I've got my merits. But who needs counting when you've got a transforming best friend? I can be a calculator, your shirt, even your pencil if need be. I can whisper you the notes and-" Perez clamped his fingers at Todd's lips.

"No, It has to be me who does it." He said, letting go of Todd as he slumped into the couch. Bubbles stirred through his gut like a boiler, fluttering out from his rear as it steamed into the cushions of the couch.

He's stubborn that's for sure, Todd thought, but he wasn't going to give up on his best pal so easily. There had to be some way for him to help out without him finding out. He placed a hand at his cheek, listening to the Rugby linebacker as his farts cracked beneath. Watching him fart into the couch, an idea sparked, smiling as he leaned into the side of Perez's gut.

"You know something, you're right, It does have to be you that does it. I can't do that for you."

"Glad you see it that way bud." Perez said.

"Mhm. But I can't just let ya mope about it this, it wouldn't be productive. Tell ya what, how's about you treat yourself to a best friend mat?"

Perez chuckled, turning toward Todd. "That again? didn't your nose learn the last time?"

"My nose is as resilient as my spirit." Todd winked "besides, you we both know you can't resist when I stick my face up there."

"Heh, I suppose so." Perez said. "Why not, I can't exactly think straight like this."

The cushion lifted from his thighs like a new landscape, standing to his full height as he pulled the fold bitten down by his ass crack. His rump jiggled in place to get a hold around its adjustment, Perez looking down Todd to signal he was ready. He didn't have to tell him twice, for as long as he could remember he always enjoyed his farts. But he never would admit it to him when it came down to it. He crack his finger shrinking to the couch as he formed himself into a cushion, a butt print sumk in the middle as it awaited for its fill.

The corner of the cushion tapped at the leathery couch as he aligned himself parallel to the giant backside, horizon of the crack hidden away by thin lining a white shorts. The legs began to bend over the couch. The large shadow casting over Todd as he gazed through the dented sockets. The mounds crashed upon him with a heavy thud, the air cushion within him compressed as it escaped beneath the giant weight.

Perez leaned overhead, catching the slim corner of the blue cushion. "You know can always tell me if its too heavy."

"And miss out on the holding your ass, no way." Todd replied.

Perez chuckled at the response, leaning back into the couch. His body relaxed, bubbles flowing from inside as it raced through his bowels to the end of his anus. With a squeeze, the rear blasted it gas upon Todd. Its fume was hot, tainting the clean air from the cushions pores as the weight increased harder. The smell of sulfur was nothing more than a welcoming, at least that's what Todd thought. He rubbed dented lining against the mouds, massaging the slim fabric to get a feel of the advancing backside.

Another blast came out, his through the shorts like a whisper as flowed over Todd like a cloud. But it dispersed as quickly as he came, a lifted leg releasing its bonds as it washed into the cool air. Minutes soon go by as Todd was fumed by Perez's farts, now no more flat than the cushion he sat on as he sunk into the gaps of the cushion. With the clock in the room began to ring, it came to an end as Perez yawned, getting up as he stretched his back.

"Now Look what you did, it's midnight." Perez said, fetching the pancaked cushion from the gaps of the couch.

"What can I say, you lose track of time when you're having fun am I right?"

Perez snorted, flicking playfully at the center of the cushion as Todd flinched. "Yeah well now I have to study in the morning."

"You'll be fine, I'll even wake you up." Todd said.

"Nah, you're a heavy sleeper as I am, I'm setting my alarm clocks, I have to be up extra early."

"Suit yourself." Todd Yawned. "I'm gonna hit the hay, I'll see you tomorrow."

Perez nodded, turning into his bed room as he closed the door. Todd walked around the corner, leaning an ear against the doorway to hear the 8nside. Soft steps wisped along the floor, scrunching as springs creaked behind. When he say the light leave his toes, he smiled as he approached his room, looking to the mirror that hanged on the wall.

"He's right, I might be able to help him with his test. However.." He paused, clapping his face between his palms. He rubbed over his cheeks like clay, pinching at a corner and squishing it into more folds. He removed his hands, looking in the mirror as his face disappeared, replaced by his best friend's. "The rules don't apply if he takes it himself right? Hehehe, you go ahead and sleep buddy, and your Todd will handle the rest.

**********************************************

That morning, Todd ventured to Perez's class as he made his way to the exam. He couldn't remember what Perez was studying for. Math, Geology, he couldn't put his finger on it. But as he sat in his chair, and the tests were handed out, his face flushed as he gazed at the stacks of paper. Chemistry. Sweat dripped from the corner of his face, wiping his shirt as he reached for the pen. It's probably fine, Todd thought, it's probably gonna be a few definitions is all. He flipped open the page, and paused as he read the text. Clutter of numbers stacked against pictographs and charts, bubbles selected in a row with potential answers. Looking to the heavens, he prayed as he took the pencil, circling the bubbles as he followed down the page.

That hour was like a detective case, unmarked clued lingering among the answers to the questions presented. Only he didn't have the key, jotting mindlessly at the bubbles like a machine. If it wasn't C, it was D he always mottoed, jotting to the next pages as he answered them. When he finished the last bubble, he handed the paper in and left in a hurry, dashing corridors like ghost.

An hour went by since the test, deciding to grab a bite from the diner before he returned back to the dorm. There was no class today after all, why let it waste on a test when there's a ge at home to play. He entered the dorm, Perez's friends waiting for him as they pulled the handle.

"Yo! You're back already, that test must have been quick."

Perez left? For how long? "Uh, yeah. The test was pretty great. Lots of numbers am I right."

"You're telling me, the chemical section was a nightmare. Say, you on for the ge later."

"Maybe, but first I gotta get changed, can't practice on an jeans you know." Todd padded at one of the friends shoulders, making his way into his room as he closed the door. The sond the door clicked, he melted back into himself, shedding the burly clothes he burrowed as they slumped to the floor. "Finally I can breathe."

He stretched as he eyed the gaming comtroller alomg the table, his fingers itching to tap at its buttons. But his phone started to ring, aggressively as nearly tbled off the edge. Todd picked it up, looking to the screen as he gazed at the notifications. One of the notification stuckout, Perez's contact displaying itself at the bottom of the bar.

"You're fucked." It read in caps, missed calls filling the inbox as more came.

Todd began to sweat, placing his phone in his pocket. "You know, I think I'm gonna go on a walk today."

He opened his room door, stepping into the hallway as he sneaked into the kitchen. The moment he touched the knob, the door tackled Todd as he was swatted to the ground, clinging to the kitchen chairs as he slumped to the floor. A large mass stepped through the door, a backpack on their shoulder as they glared down at Todd.

"There you are!" Perez said.

"Oh shit."

Perez lashed his hand toward him, meeting the cold floor as Todd turned into a paper bird. He flapped through the hallways like a drunk pelican, A thicker silhouette following behind as palms clicked at the air.

"Will you chill out!" Todd said, arching his back as the stubby fingers glossed at his back.

"Chill out?! You messed with my exam! I said not to help me!"

"It was a quick stop by, nothing aside from THAT!" An hand stuck to his back,flinging him to the side of the hallway as he shifted to his human.

Todd pushed off as a heavy crash boomed behind him. He ran for his room ahead, but jerked as something soft struck his back, tripping him as he fell to the floor. "A bean bag? Where did he get a bean bag?"

A shadow casts overhead, Perez jumping through the air like a whale. "Bring that ass!"

"No thanks!" Todd threw the bean bag back, colliding against their torso as they rolled into a wall.

He turned himself into a snake, coiling himself against the meat forearm. He used his tail like a paddle, swatted the growling student as he flailed his fists in confusion. Todd looked to the closed doors surrounding him, eying his room that was half open. It's a straight shot from here, but he wasn't sure if he could make it from this position. He wheesed as a fist wrapped around him, to the far wall as he transformed back.

Perez growled, throwing the bean back as it shot through the corridor like a missle. Getting to his feet, his eyes locked on him as he reached for Todd.

"Shit!" He yelped, jumping through his legs. He stammered toward his door, Heavy steps behind him as the bass from their stomps boomed at his back.

He reached the door and slammed it shut, locking it before a thud sent him back. Bang after bang, he watched as the door rattled, the hinges breaking from the wall as the frame began to wobble.

"Think think think!" Todd paced around the room, looking for a place to hide himself. He looked to the pile of clothes cluttering his ankles, underwear slipping from his feet as he kicked it away. Wait, that was it, underwear.

He held the door as he forced himself to take slow breath, a glimpse of a pair of boxers flowing through his mind as a numbness took over. He closed his eyes, Shrinking in size as he felt himself expand, his skin turning to wool as he looked at his reflection in the glass. A side of his face was pulled by gravity as he slouched into view. A pair of underwear was all that filled the reflection, his own eye staring back at the fabric. "Perfect."

The door swung open, the wooden frame fallling over as a mass of an athlete stepped inside. A foot pinned Todd to the carpet, flattening him like a compressor as toes scrunched at his back. "Come on out you coward, face the music like a man." Perez said.

Todd's lips refused to move, pinned down by the thick soles. Not that he wanted to anyway, he was already pissed off as it was. The foot lifted from him, the student approached the mattress as he threw the cover from its surface. Turning to the closet as he yanked the door open. He seemed far enough for him to get a move on, he thought. He'd best get out of sight while he could. He moved across the floor like a caterpillar, inching himself to the side of the table as he aimed for the dresser.

Perez roared behind him, shaking Todd to his core as he fell limp.

"Where are you hiding?!" Perezsaid, throwing the clothes to the ground. He groaned as he retreated back to the door. "Fine then, be a bitch. You'll have to come out eventually."

He eyed the room, scanning the pile of books and posters along the wall. He looked floor as disks scattered around, a pair of underwear restimg near the drawer. He stopped over to it, grabbing the fabric as Todd nearly yelped.

"These look custom made, think I'll keep them as part of your apology."

Crumpled in his palm, Todd looked up the burly hand, the other other unzipping the pants that choked at his waist. His cock punched through their boxers, a drizzled spot crowning the front as it soaked into it. He took them off, tossing the dirty undergarments to his pillow before he was placed to the ground, feet stepping into as the hands pulled up.

Todd felt like he was being pulled apart, his face folding over the player's backside. It was warm, the plump mounds jiggling in attempts to shake him off. It wasn't so bad though, it cushioned the discomfort away from his face, but it didn't prepare for the trunk Perez had in the front. The sound of fabric stretching filled his ears, an oblong object bulldozing its way into his hole as it pushed out.

"These things are actually pretty comfy." Perez said.

From his squinted eyes, Todd watched the world rotate as his mattress came to view, zooming out to his frame as he moved through the hall. The earthy scent behind him flowed, wisping through his nostrils to the open air. His gaze twisted around the walls, the mounds grinding his eyes into different directions.

"All that running has made me hungry. Damn you Todd, now I have to dig into my stash."

"What stash?" Todd looked to the corner of the mounds as they rolled against him like a tide.

The space grew lighter as he entered the room, the carpet changing to a tiled floor as chairs scattered around. His gaze forced to the air, the fridge opening as Perez hummed to himself.

"There's nothing but dairy in here, this underwear won't be the same. But I guess that's Todd's problem." Perez said. Cups cluttered together, Perez moving as Todd's gaze turned to the opened fridge. Cheese, Milk, and yogurt dressed the door, closing as he entered the living room. A couch aligned in front of him, the back of the student's thick legs bending down as his vision turned to black.

Cups opened above, the weight from mounds sinking into the couch as Todd. Perez chowed down, their mouth sloppishly groaning as he wolfed down the pile of dairy. This situation wasn't new, Todd thought, of their daily sitting this one was no different. Perez can't stay mad forever, and it was only a matter of time before he got bored of wearing him. Yes, then he'll transform and he'll be clear. It was perfect.

Gurgl! A sound boomed from above, the mounds bulging as something bubbly made its way down. A trumpet sound erupted, the frowsty muscle flexing at his back as warmth shrouded over him like a smaug. It burned his nose, a sour scent invading him as he scrunched his face. This smell was different compared to his normal sessions, did he hold back on his farts? Todd thought. A single adjustment from Perez flattened him back, drawing him into the line of fire as the center of his face was bombarded by fart balsts.

"Here we go again, I barely started eating. But I'll be damned If I stop now." Perez said.

The mounds dragged against his face, unsure of where he was forced to look as he twisted around the darkness. A bright glow met his gaze as Perez tilted on his side, allowing him the chance to see the corner of the couch. A hand dropped an empty cup along the counter, it's fingers folding as two darted toward him.

The two fingers stamped at his face, impacting the center of his face as he shriveled into its funnel. His eyes flattened together as the finger drove deeper. The other side of him connecting against something soft, and earthy as the fingers brushed against it. By the way the tender surface clenched at the tip, he assumed it was the source to all of its stench. His asshole.

"Whatever this thing's made of, it's itchy as hell." Perez said.

The fingers dug together. The mounds sucking Todd into the muscular valley to bring him closer. They squeezed at his own body, a monstrous roar exiting from his hole as it scoured to the rest of the couch. Eggs carried along its blast, wet in nature compared to the airy flatulence blown toward him. The muscle squeezed harder, a blockage refusing to let the gas bypass as it turned into a sharp hiss.

"Nnn! Gotta hunker down for this one.." Perez hugged at his gut, shoving his palms into his stomach. Farts came out in spurts, blasting Todd in a barrage in attempts to unclog his bowels. "Come on you..don't ..mess with me."

He shoved at his gut, a gurgle responding as bubbles slithered through his intestines. His hole opened like a water valve, a winded fart growing stronger, more watery as it humidified the finger that anchored Todd. Another surface touched him,dampening the middle of his face with a foul scent as it spread over his eyes.

It bulged out in a mini mudslide, his hole and fingers quick to retract. "Damn it, I pushed too hard."

Todd's gaze shifted to a palm scooping him into the crack. With how fast the thighs were kicking, and the grumbling above growing louder, he was about to blow at any second. A door kicked open, Perez lunging upon the toilet seat as Todd's gaze turned toward the bowl. A hand fumbled to his left side, peeling him off the massive rear as it crashed onto the bowl, and he fell to the floor.

"Mmm..shit...that's really starting pile." Perez strained, releasing the hellhates upon the toilet as its cracks pierced the air like a lightning strike.

Todd wormed his form against the giant ankles, dragged upwards as a palm fumbled to the toilet paper above. He could still smell the sour scent on him, soaking into him as it grew ripe in the wind. His mind wanted to give the jig up, and yet, his heart was..enjoying the experience. Perez never squeezed himself so hard that he sharted, even with his regular farts. Though disgusting.. He wanted to explore more of Perez's body.

He closed his eyes, the farts above firing artillery shells as he laid upon the cold ground. Perhaps taking that test wasn't a bad idea.

**********************************************

The weekend arrived, the sun casting over the bleachers as the audience cheered on the advancing players on the field. Perez ran back to the sidelines, the coach calling him to the bleachers to take a breather. They fanned at the air, ushering the player away as he marched to the booths. Passing through the crowd, he turned toward a blocky building as restroom signs rests on top. He entered inside, parking himself as he unlaced his pants.

"God it's hot today, to think the game was so packed today." He said, looking at his phone as he clicked at his university portal. There beneath the classes was the grade of the test, green numbers stacked together as a B rested on top. "As much as I still have a grudge on that bastard, I do owe him for getting me through that. But I haven't seen him in a day since morphed. Wonder where he went off to?"

Unraveling, he dropped his pants to reveal the crumpled underwear beneath. dark green stains smudged along the corners, the fabric that once tucked tightly at his backside now drooping as the middle sagged off the round glutes. There, Todd blinked as he looked to the cubicle shaped stall, his vision blurred as the sweat along his eyes turned the space green. How long has it been since he turned himself like this? He could hardly remember as he spent his time snugged beneath the layers of clothes.

A fart interrupted his train of thought, vanishing into the void of his mind as he grew drunk upon Perez's scent. He mumbled with his mouth, but found only the fabric stretching in a soft muffle. He'd moan if he had the chance, but smelling was enough to get him aroused, His gaze rolling to the back of his head in pleasure. A groan shook the mound like an earthquake, a watery fart striking his face as the damp green space turned a shade of dark brown. A hand scratched him against the musty crack, like a tissue wiping against a grease as sludge soaked into him.

His mind began to spin, the world shifting as it turned into a shadowed brown. It's good to know that his methods helped Perez pass his exam. He'd transform back into his humanself, but he's like this for a week, the feeling he gets whenever he morphs were no longer there. Ah well, he thought, he get it eventually. He himself against the large ass, Tucking against the crack as he was free to enjoy the rich smells of. farts as he rested upon the muscular mattress.

The exam was well, Perez is relaxed, and he's able to be close to him. From Todd's standpoint, this was the fruits of his labor, and he was going to enjoy it.

[noowayybroo]

I can't think of a name for this fic.

Hi! It's been a while!

So one of the first Resident Evil fics I read was about Leon saving you from an abusive ex! And I desperately wanted to find more of these!! But I couldn't :( So! I wanted to write one! But before doing that I thought... Leon's a sweet boy - n I heard he had an ex or something before re2?? but maybe I'm wrong?? So what If YOU, dear reader, ran into absolute sweet baby boy Leon (just the one I have in mind but play it however you want if you can) and helped him through a dodgy relationship or breakup?

Characters: Leon Kennedy, Reader

Warnings: Not NSFW. GN reader cuz YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL! WHY WOULD I EVER WANT TO EXCLUDE YOU, HUH!?!?!?! No mention of age but faint job and relationship to Leon suggestions. Hurt / Comfort. Please be careful there's gonna be an abusive / manipulative partner mentions but they will be hopefully brief n quiet and the fic will focus mostly on happy Leon at the end!!! Not really a warning but written with dumb GB money n phrases n stuff so sorry if that upsets you XD

"That'll be £5.29, Sir"

"Just 99p, please."

"You want the lucky dip?" ... "Just one?" ... "£3.99 please."

"You know I need to see your ID if you want those, right?"

Another day, another dollar. Another day in this dumb shop, working late shifts for what? For minimum wage and abuse from drunken low-lives. To put it simply, you worked at an understaffed corner-shop, and always had the late shifts, because you always had the time. Same old same old. Time passed slowly, each night felt like a repeat of the last, and all you did was stare at the clock and wait for your shift to end.

Wednesday through Sunday.

Same old?

Same old.

Soft baby-blues, yet just as able to pierce, were not what first earned your attention. Nor was it the silvery blonde hair that fell upon his face in neat locks. Surprisingly, nor was it that face: so soft, so pure... Quite cute. Sweet, maybe?

Ok, stop making assumptions. The young man who's just entered your store alone seems quite flustered, in a rush. Yet you notice how he takes time to establish eye contact with you and give a swift, polite nod, acknowledging you.

You gladly return his gesture and your chest flutters a little as you share a kind smile before he disappears into the rows of aisles. You think to yourself as you watch the man's head bob around the rows of products, no longer able to see his expression. You subconsciously attempt to look a little more presentable. The thing was, customers this late at night weren't usually so polite. They didn't give a damn about whether you were there or not, unless they were trying to steal something. Wait, what time was it again?

10:04

Oh. An hour 'till home time. Great, your feet were killing you. You're shaken from your mundane day-dream as the man strides quickly up to the counter. His hands are full of microwave meals and booze. He reaches the counter long before you're focused and ready to serve him, but waits patiently despite his rush. He hands you his ID, although you'd probably have let him go without it, pays in cash and scrambles to pick his things up again.

"You need a bag?" you ask quietly, feeling almost reluctant to disturb his rush.

"N-nah thanks I got- it's not my money I don't need it-"

"It's on me." you state, soft yet assertive, grabbing his items and shoving them into one of the more expensive carrier bags. You catch him off guard completely. He stands there, frozen, as you pick the rest of his items out of his cradling arms and bag them, before shoving them back to him all packed.

"Wh- T-thanks!" He beams, hesitant. He gives you a wide, genuine smile, nods, and leaves. Just like that, he's gone. Polite, kind customers were so rare that you couldn't blame the tornado of butterflies within your stomach. To think, also, that he was so grateful for one carrier bag, something most patrons would spit on you for not supplying free. Your gaze rests on the sliding door where you last saw him, wondering if you'd ever do so again.

10:07

Uggghhhhhhhhhh....

The next few months come and go. Summer soon becomes Autumn, the nights get longer, the air gets colder and your enthusiasm for this damn job remains absent. Something that did happen, though, was that you saw more of the cordial gentleman from that night. He seemed to have been the only nice customer that came back. That, or, there was something particularly memorable about him...

Gross. Stop it.

Always kind and polite, you loved exchanging smiles with the man as he went about his shopping. You wondered why he'd been so shy.. Or at least, you'd imagined him to be shy, thanks to his timid voice and the way he stole glances at you from above the aisles.

He lets people with fewer items jump ahead of him in line, thanks you extra graciously as he leaves, and sometimes, rarely, makes small-talk with you when it's just the two of you alone. Sometimes, he likes to ask how you are, and, if a customer or your manager has given you a hard time in any way, he hurries over once you're alone to reassure you.

"Don't listen to them, c'mon... What do they know, huh?"

"You're amazing! You're doing your best and that's more than enough!"

"Those jerks don't know how lucky they are to have you!"

On one night, you're helping him pack his bags as he's counting his change to pay you, and you can't help but notice some... markings on his skin. They look like bruises, maybe hickeys? But in strange places. There are some scratches too. Where are those from? You ponder, holding out your hands for his change without thinking. Is he... alright? ...Do those hurt?

You're snatched back to reality by the sound of the change he'd just handed you falling and clattering on the counter and floor around you.

"Shhit - Sorry-", you hiss, going to pick up the coins, but before you can move, he's already shuffled to the side of your counter and is crouching down, picking up each penny with care. He hands them back to you, a little more caring this time in case you'd drop them again. He seems concerned. This time you keep a firm grip on the coins.

"Sorry... Should have brought notes..." He apologises, sincere. "Next time, sorry." No matter how much you tried to reassure him as you counted his change, he kept apologising and cursing himself. You couldn't judge him, but you just wished he wouldn't. It was your mistake, not his. He shouldn't bully himself over your issue. You stand there in silence for a while, handing him his receipt. "Thank you, but are you okay?" he asks, tentatively.

"I'm alright... I just- Are you okay?" You can't help but whisper. You feel terrible, prying about his personal life, but you were just so curious. You were worried for him. His confusion dissolves into a pool of concern as he follows your gaze to his own hands and neck, and he quickly shies away. He looked hurt, as if your stare had wounded him, as if you'd accused him of something. More so, he looked as though you'd uncovered something he'd rather leave hidden.

He does his best to assure you, swearing up and down that he's alright. He tells you he does a lot of training for his job, which made some sense with his figure, and that sometimes things can get a little rough. You didn't completely buy it, but he was gone just as quickly as he'd come - signing off with a polite nod and a 'good night' and disappearing into the cold.

Worsening your suspicions, the next time you saw your favourite customer, he was even worse for wear. His hair was tussled and messy and his features a little more scratched up and grizzly. Worst of all, this time, that lovely smile of his just felt fake - empty. It was as though he smiled for you, to show you something that wasn't really there. You greet each other. You make small-talk. As soon as he notices that his scars are visible, he takes off.

The next time you'd seen him was midnight. You'd been instructed to close the shop early after waiting for a co-worker who'd never turned up to take the next shift. The rain splashes down around you as you grumble to yourself, fiddling with the flimsy lock on the shop's door. You'd put down the metal shutters, turned off all the lights and closed up. Your priority at this time was simply to get home. You were tired, stressed and quickly becoming soaked through. All you wanted was to get home, kick off your really-painful-right-now shoes and-

...hear loud footsteps approaching you from behind.

Running.

Running?

Running towards you?

You turn quickly, heart racing, only to be met face-to-face with a really, really desperate looking gentle-customer. He greets you, panting, exhausted.

He tells you he's confused; he thought your shop was 24/7. You explain the situation to his sympathetic ears as you both stand there, equally soggy and dripping beneath the falling rain. You stand with him in silence, letting the downpour claim you as he catches his breath (or works up his confidence.)

"Did you need something?" You help him. He's hesitant, but you know he ran for a reason. Your eyes grasp his as you stand together, looking like fools on the corner of a dimly lit street.

"It- it's... I didn't want to have to ask you but could I PLEASE buy something I really really need it I'm so sorry I'll pay you extra I'll-" You cut him off, already opening the shop back up. He needed your help and you weren't about to deny him it for any reason, not since he'd been so kind to you.

You both hurry into the shop, setting up the till whilst he gathers what he needs, and then it's time to check him out and leave. He follows you out as you lower the shutters the rest of the way and lock up once more, and you wonder to yourself as you do so why he hasn't left yet. Looking up at him from your hunched over position, you see him watching you eagerly. He seems to want to say something, probably to thank you or say goodbye, but most likely feels it might be rude or abrupt.

"Thank you... Thank you very much." his voice echoes beside you in the empty street. Vivid street lights shine down on the both of you, cool colours complimenting the cold air prickling your skin. When your eyes meet, he shoots you a soft smile. You dread a 'goodbye'. You're certain it's coming. "Listen... it's really cold out.. and the rain-"

"Yeah, I know... Is this where we say goodbye for the nigh-"

"Do you want a lift?" the man interrupts you suddenly. His voice is all too timid, but he does his best to speak up over you before you mention parting ways. He doesn't think he could hear that right now.

Not that you'd know, but something about your kindness and generosity to him was affecting him in a way it shouldn't have, considering that he was in a relationship. Swiftly, the man spots your discomfort and surprise, and quickly chimes in, "My name's Leon, by the way, Leon Kennedy-", There's a long pause, "Sorry... I thought it'd... You should know that at least... Before you even think of getting in my car-"

"Are you sure?" It was your turn to cut him off this time, call it payback.. or something. In reality, your excitement just got the better of you. You wanted to speak with him, get to know him, and this would be the perfect chance!

I mean, of course, there was stranger danger, but look at him! He's harmless! Lil' (big) guy couldn't hurt a fly! Besides, by now, you felt like you knew him, at least a little. The rain poured down, soaking through you, and you didn't live far so you were sure it wouldn't be too out of his way...

"I know it's weird and sudden, I was just wondering, you don't have to..." Come on, he had to be nervous with this amount of babbling.

"Of course I'd be very grateful, thank you." You ease him, earning a relieved and somewhat excited look from him as he quickly shows you to his car which is only a few meters away. Leon juggles his shopping whilst helping you into the front before storing what he's bought in the boot. You let him know where you live, to which he gives a happy nod and an 'ah!', and finally, you're on your way. Homebound at last.

You and Leon make great conversation on your way home. Almost like a dream. You hadn't spoken to him more than five minutes in one go before, and yet it felt like you were the closest of friends. He liked your music, he was inspired by your hobbies. Your dress sense enthralled him, and he always complimented you and piped up in disagreement whenever you put yourself down. On the short drive, he really opened up to you, and, by the time you were clambering out of his front seat, he was entirely cool and collected... and slightly attractive. You didn't read that.

As you lean through the window to give him one last thanks, you bump your head on the window frame. Tender laughs and giggles were shared, before he disappeared into the night. You stumble home and fall asleep in much a better mood than you would have been in should he not have shown up. He probably had no idea, you thought, but Leon saved your day. You'd have been moody, sore and disgruntled all over, but thanks to him, you slept easy and you dreamt happy.

You wondered how he'd be sleeping that night.

That was the last time you'd seen Mister Kennedy for quite some time. Moreover, the next time you did, he was not alone at all. Someone who you could only imagine to be his partner clung to his arm as they sauntered into the shop beside him. You weren't one to judge, especially not a book by its cover, but this new face simply exuded possessiveness. Ok, alright, he has a partner. That's not so bad-

Your heart cracks a little when Leon doesn't even look your way upon entering the shop. You imagine he always did, to check who was there, but this time he seemed to know you'd be there, and seemed un-phased. Alright, this is okay too. He can't be making eyes at me and getting all friendly with a special someone around. You watch as he's paraded around the shop by his presumed partner, who is certainly making evil eyes at you. They speak loudly at him, make him carry everything and overall just seem like bad news.

Quite frankly, it pisses you off.

Leon stays quiet as they walk around, occasionally replying to his accomplice, and even when it's time to pay, which they make him do, he doesn't look at you. Could he be ashamed, maybe? Maybe he was upset at you. Or maybe... No, did this person have an issue with him just speaking to people? That wasn't very cool at all, to put it all too lightly.

You tried not to let it affect you, you really did, but when the next few times you saw Leon that month and he had them glued to his shoulder, you felt your joy and confidence being eroded with force. Each time, you'd get no input or interaction from Leon, and his lovely, charming personality seemed to be a distant memory. From his partner, which you were now sure of, given that they'd made a point of kissing him in front of you, you received the lot. This included glares, snide comments and even a service complaint which fortunately your manager did not buy.

His silent visits left you alone with your thoughts, and it was agonising. Your mind wandered as you watched him, actively dodging glares from his partner. You didn't like the way they looked at you, a stranger, when really, what did they have to dislike about you? You didn't like the way they held him so close, pulling him in like he'd run if he had the chance. Well, would he? You didn't like how he never smiled around them. You missed that smile, so so much, but with his partner, he seemed scared to show it. Why was that?

Left to stew in your thoughts, you learned to hate a stranger pretty easily. In fact, you felt a formidable rage as you trudged home in the cold air that day. Your mind was clouded with chores and responsibilities, and everything you'd have to get done. Worst of all, you were obsessed with a stranger, and with uncovering his life, and really, you felt pathetic and stupid for being as such. You felt ready to give up, as though you had to. You felt hopeless. Whatever was happening to Leon was none of your business, and at this point, what could you do? What should you do?

You'd probably never even see him alone again, and if you tried to speak to him, what would you say? Would he listen? would he care?

But there he was, in front of you: a perfect mirage, turning onto your street, a block ahead. You can't believe your eyes, especially with the distance between you and the darkness of the night. Your legs, however, didn't doubt for a minute, and you found yourself running towards him. You did your best to silence your feet, but he still heard you, and turned to check out the noise. You slow to a sane pace before walking beside him, catching your breath. Thankfully, he seemed somewhat relieved. 'At least you weren't some armed mugger', or something, probably.

This was your chance. You were beside him now, walking, and he hadn't run, or shouted obscenities at you. And even better - he was alone. He looked rough, bags hung under his eyes and he was certainly due a shower, not that you minded at all. You knew that was (despite the cold shoulder) just as caring, considerate and kind under it all. Selfishly, really, you just wanted to see him smile. Fearing he'd be home and out of your clutches soon, you break the ice.

"Leon... I've been meaning to speak to you for a while, how are you?" You try your best to sound chirpy and bright, still trying to encourage some joy from him, but he seems tired, weary as he glances back at you.

"I've been great, thanks." He replies, but without a smile, you see straight through his lie. He wants to change the subject, to push something else. "Look, I'm really really sorry for ignoring you recently. I didn't mean to. It's just my.. You know, my special someone. A bit insecure, nothing really, just have to keep quiet with other people while they're around."

Suspicions confirmed. That was his partner and he was expected not to speak to you. His sugar-coating does not serve him at all, it merely lines your heart with lead, and you press the conversation further in an attempt to distract yourself as it sinks.

"I was... actually thinking about that lately. Look, I just think... I don't know how to say this but-"

"How are you, by the way? I'm sorry I didn't ask... I hope you didn't think me running you home was odd-", Leon cuts you off quickly. He seems to not want to speak about any of this at all. He seems to know precisely where you're going. If you didn't see the hurt in his body and hear it in his voice, you might get mad, but now all you feel is sorrow for him.

"Leon, I'm... Actually, no. I'm not alright. I need to speak to you. We're friends, right? Can you answer me some stuff? I'm just curious. Like.. Your partner... how long have you guys...?" Leon swallows thickly and drags his blown pupils from the ground to focus on you. He looks guilty, he seems reluctant. But, luckily for you, he seems to think he owes you. Furthermore, hearing you're not ok has seemed to panic him a little.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry yeah so... We've been together for a few months now. They're great honestly, love of my life, all that. Childhood sweethearts. Just got a few insecurities, having a hard time finding themselves, so if it's best if I give them my attention." He sounded so kind and attentive speaking about his partner in such a hushed whisper. Maybe what he was saying was all honest and true, but something just didn't sound right. It didn't feel good-natured. Partners can be insecure, it's alright, but stopping him from speaking to others? Meanwhile, your eyes wander, dragging your mind with them.

"And Leon, what about those marks on you? Is your partner responsible for those? Did you do-", You stop when you see Leon clench his fists. He seems uncomfortable, his hair falling into his face, hiding his flinching eyes. You've hit a nerve, and instantly you feel guilty and regret your actions. Leon starts to walk a little faster, but you feel like if you're going to get anywhere with him you can't let him escape, not this time. As you pass a bench, you gently place your hands on his arms, gripping him. The gentle giant he is, he stops quickly, and allows you to drag him down to sit with you.

"I'm not sure why it matters... But fine, if.. if we're friends we can chat like friends, right? Confidential, and stuff.." He trails off and looks away for a while, before picking up the subject again, but not to deny it, "They can just get a bit clingy. Not to worry, not their fault. Sometimes when we're doing things they just go a bit far, or you know, they make mistakes, accidents. Anger issues, sort of thing but-" Leon was about to insist that you drop it now or not tell anybody about this but you're not having it.

"Leon stop and listen to me, please. I know this is insane, but it's not right, okay??? None of this is right. None of this is correct. Have you been in a relationship before now?" Leon stares at you, his eyes wide, and the lump in his throat jumps once more as he finds himself unable to reply for a while. He's surprised by your boldness. He's amazed by how you've shifted from so calm, funny and cool to this. Now, you seem furious. He imagines you gripping the bridge of your nose and closing your eyes in disappointment if you weren't holding him in place.

His mind struggles to articulate a plan for his words and actions. Just as he's about to really panic though, a thought at the back of his head hits the nail- you're worried about him. You're worried for him. His face softens and he eases up a bit, looking concerned himself. Leon lets out a long sigh and closes his eyes, clenching his jaw and licking his top lip. And then, he moves a little to let your hands slide down his arms. He takes your hands in his and looks into your eyes.

"Thank you." He murmurs. "I understand what you're saying." Silence feels between the two of you, in which you both wonder what the other is thinking. And then, he answers your question. "They're my first. I haven't had anybody before." He sounds shy, almost stammering. Something within him seems ashamed. Does he think it's emasculating to have had few partners at his age? Or is he embarrassed at letting this happen to him? You recognise his struggle, and grip his hands reassuringly. You want him to feel safe. You want him to be happy.

"I get it, Leon. But please, listen to me when I tell you, It's not like that in the real world, alright?" you notice his gaze drift a little so you lean in to recapture his attention. "The person you love doesn't hit you. They don't berate you or put you down. They love you just as much as you love them. They look after you, and they want you to be happy. And they understand that you have social needs and things, and they let you fulfil them. Do you understand me?" Your voice is sweet yet firm. You don't intend to let him go without drilling this mindset into him. At least, you're going to give it your best shot.

You've called him out. You've summed him up. Not only is he fragile but he's exposed. Leon feels feeble, pathetic. He feels as though not only is he weak and unable to help himself, but as though he just exudes this image of himself. He's barely spoken to you, and now you know just how pitiful he is. He felt disgusting.

Meanwhile, you babble on as he stares straight past you, lost in a replay of the last few months of his life. He thought about the comments they'd made to him over time, the things they'd done and said, the things they'd asked or demanded of him. He thought about the horrible things they made him feel about himself.

And then he thought about you.

A stranger on a park bench, late at night, holding his hands and reassuring him. Trying to get him to see just how much he was missing out on. Not only that but you chatted away before him, and he wondered if it was the faint semblance of vanity he had left within him, or if you actually cared. He felt right, holding your hand. He felt safe and he felt respected. He zones back in, staring into your eyes as you finish your rant.

"I do understand, yes." he replies, voice low and thick. "Thank you for everything."

"I have something else to say."

"What is it? Are you okay?"

"I haven't known you long, Leon. But you seem like a really, really good guy. You don't deserve to be roughed around by anyone. You don't deserve to be insulted, or belittled. I don't know your living situation. No idea who pays the bills, but Leon. There's people out there who'd love the hell outta you and never place a finger on you unless you wanted them to, and even then it'd be because they love you, you hear?" Leon nods slowly, obediently as you speak, soaking in your words like a sponge.

"I never asked you for your name..." He rasps, once again, his mind seems to have drifted somewhat, but you understand. It's a horrible, touchy subject, and you're lucky he's put up with staying with you here in the dark. He could have up and left ages ago, you couldn't blame his brain for trying to avoid something so horrible. You sigh, how could you resist him? Reluctantly you give him your name, and earn your first smile from him in what seems to be an eternity. He squeezes your hands softly and shifts a little before looking at you very closely.

"Y/N. Please tell me. Do you think I should leave them?"

Jesus Christ. How do you answer that one?

"I know you just want my opinion, and that you might not do what I say, and that's perfectly fine," you say quietly, moving one hand to grip his shoulder supportively. You'd love to cup his face but that's far too tender. Far too intimate. "But, if they hurt you. if they upset you. If you feel used or disrespected or unloved, they are not for you. You've got tons of time left and you will find someone who loves you, if that's what you're looking for. Nothing this lowlife has taken from you or done to you can get in the way of that, alright?" You chuckle nervously as such a harsh set of words leaves you, but you go quiet when you see Leon's lips twitch.

He seems to be trying to smile, or to fight one back, you're not sure. His eyes appear watery, and his face sunken. He looks like he needs to rest. Then, he looks at you, you can tell he's about to change the subject.

"Thank you, wait. I want to do something before I forget. Could I please have your number, is that alright?"

"What for? Are you sure it's okay?" Leon freezes for a while, staring forward just as he's shuffling through his pockets to find his phone. It's not until the cold air hits your hand that you realise just how lovely his touch was. Leon looks back at you with feigned yet ignited bravery as he unlocks and begins to navigate his phone.

"I'm not going to let them stop me speaking to people anymore." You beam, wide and genuine, so glad to hear those words. For once, he's declaring his strength. He's fighting back. Leon can't help but join your smile as his eyes twinkle beneath the street lamps above. On the verge of tears, he smiles widely back at you. You exchange numbers gladly, and he calls you there and then just to make sure, as if afraid you're lying.

He makes his way home via yours, walking and talking with you and seeing you to your door. Such a gentleman, you think, even though he isn't yours. And to think his 'reward' is what it is. It horrifies you.

The tension is thick as you stand at your door, both swaying slightly as you stand together, exhausted. You conclude your conversation about work, everyday life, hobbies and things, and Leon watches you for a while, flinching a little as he thinks.

Unexpectedly, he pulls you in for a gentle hug. Nothing intimate, nothing over the top. In fact, he seemed almost scared to do it.

"Thank you. You've been so good to me." He whispers as he pulls away. You reassure him it was the least you could do, and jokingly bump him on the shoulder, spewing out something along the lines of 'you better make good on what I said' in the process. He flashes you another smile before watching you head indoors and returning home himself.

You hadn't heard from Leon in an entire week until a familiar pair of eyes creased and smiled at you from the entrance to your shop. That bell had never sounded better, orchestrating his presence. Your friend smiles at you and goes about his shopping, and, ringing him up, you can't help but notice the lack of his usual shopping habits before you. There was no cheap cider, there was no wine. There certainly weren't any ready-meals, just fresh foods, and an expensive whiskey.

You raise an eyebrow at him, and he quickly smirks at you, seeming proud of himself.

"I like to cook. And besides, I thought I'd celebrate." You knew exactly what that meant. He was providing for himself now, living how he wanted to. He must have finally spread his wings and escaped. You can't help but beam, entirely in awe. You want to be certain though, as you look at his refreshed face. He seems to have had a burden and a half lifted from him.

"Does this mean what I think it does, Leon?"

"It certainly does." He chuckles before leaning in and giving you a mock-serious tone, "And you better have been right about those tonnes of people being after me... I'll be waiting for them." He sounds confident, he sounds mischievous and playful. He sounds like a new man, but with that same inner sweetness. He pays for his things, and gives you extra for that bag from months ago. Watching him leave, you made a mental note: That memory was just one more on the list of 'sharp' things that made up Leon Kennedy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

HI I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKED THIS!!! IT WAS REALLY HARD TO WRITE CUZ IT WAS SUPER EMOTIONAL AND THINGS BUT I SO SO HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT OR IT HELPED YOU IN SOME WAY. I really felt quite deep writing this (to put it lightly) and I hope the story can mean as much to you, especially those of you from America etc who have to put up with my weird spellings and mannerisms. Anyway, I hope this is alright for you, and thanks a billion for all of your support, ever!!!

I'm sorry if this one hit a nerve or two, I really hope nobody was upset or offended.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Trey Clover - New Year's Attire Vignette

"There's nothing fishy about it"

[Mister S's Mystery Shop]

Ortho: Good morning, Trey Clover-san! Let's do our best again today!

Trey: Yeah. Morning, Ortho.

Ortho: You look a little perplexed… What are you working on? Maybe I can help.

Trey: Well, I was looking over the supply and demand over individual products…

Trey: In the midst of that, I realized that there are some items that just aren't selling.

Ortho: Items that aren't selling? Collating data on the quantity of stocked and sold goods...

Ortho: …Are you talking about the "ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ" and "ＭＡＴＣＨＡ" over in the Eastern produce corner?

Trey: Yeah. Even compared to the other Eastern food stocked there, we have an abundance left over.

Ortho: And they're even being displayed pretty noticeably, too…

Sam: Oh, my! This is an alarming situation.

Ortho: Ah, Sam-san!

Sam: This campaign sale originated as a way to rep the Eastern branch of this shop. It'd be a terrible problem if the foodstuff from the East is unpopular.

Sam: MORE IMPORTANTLY, IF THERE IS AN ABUNDANCE OF STOCK LEFT OVER, THAT'LL DEFINITELY PUT US IN THE RED!

Sam: Aaah, how troubling! If only there were somebody to fix this issue with pizzazz!

Trey: …He's looking at us, saying all that because he wants to leave it to us, huh.

Ortho: Looks like it…

Sam: HEY! Of course, I wouldn't ask it of you for free.

Sam: You little imps just need to come up with a cool promotion to sell the ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ and ＭＡＴＣＨＡ,

Sam: And if the sales increase, I'll consider that as part of your assessment towards the getting the special bonus.

Ortho: A promotion…? Is it alright for us to come up with an event or campaign, even though we're only part-time?

Sam: Aye! If it'll increase sales. Can you do it?

Trey: So, it'll be tied to your assessment… Got it, Sam-san. If that's the case, we'll think of something.

Ortho: We'll do our best, you can leave it to us!

Sam: Nyeheehee. I'm counting on the both of you.

Trey: Alright… First, we have to figure out why they're not selling to figure out how to get them to sell.

Ortho: ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ is sweet bean paste, and ＭＡＴＣＨＡ is unfermented, powdered green tea leaves.

Ortho: These may be unusual, but there are other Eastern products. I don't really get why these two are the only ones that aren't selling well.

Trey: True. And it's not like either of them taste terrible, or anything.

Trey: I tried a bit of both before, when I was searching for ingredients to make sweets out of.

Ortho: Hmmm. So then, what could be the reason?

Trey: Well, since both ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ and MATCH are ingredients from the East and aren't what we're used to…

Trey: Maybe this whole thing is because those customers that have never tried it can't imagine how it could taste?

Ortho: Right! Even I had to search for specific info on these Eastern products whenever a customer asked something.

Trey: If there was some way we could get the customers to taste the ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ and ＭＡＴＣＨＡ…

Ortho: Maybe they'll buy it!

Trey: Right, it definitely is a possibility. Plus, we still have a little time before the shop opens…

Trey: Why don't we start prepping and set up a taste testing corner?

Ortho: Agreed! I'll make the ＭＡＴＣＨＡ drinks then.

Trey: Got it. I'll make small samplers of the ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ, then.

Scarabia Student: Hmm, what should I do? I really want to find something I can drink while I do my holiday homework…

Ortho: If that's the case, why don't you try this ＭＡＴＣＨＡ? It's a drink from the East. Try it out!

Scarabia Student: Oh, thanks. It sure smells good, let me just…

Scarabia Student: BFFFFT!? HURK, WHAT IS THIS FLAVOR!? It's bitter and tart… I don't want something like this!

Ortho: O-Okay…

Pomefiore Student: Oh, something smells sweet.

Trey: That'd be the ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ. We have samples available right now, would you like a bite?

Pomefiore Student: Well, why not…

Pomefiore Student: Ugh, what's this weird green mush that looks like stir-fried moss!?

Trey: Hey, I promise it tastes good. There's nothing fishy about it.

Trey: This is just ground up and sweetened boiled green peas…

Pomefiore Student: Sweetened green peas!? Why would anyone do that to beans?

Pomefiore Student: No thanks, no way, I'll pass on something as strange as that.

Trey: I see, alright… Come on back if you change your mind.

Trey: Ortho, how did the ＭＡＴＣＨＡ taste testing go?

Ortho: No good. Everyone just spat it out at the first sip, saying it wasn't drinkable. How was the ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ?

Trey: They would just take one look at it and refuse to eat it.

Trey: I tried explaining it to them, but it seems like they just really don't like how the beans are sweetened.

Trey: This is bad… At this rate, it'll be impossible to increase sales. What can we do…?

[Heartslabyul Dorm – Kitchen]

That night―

Trey: Whew… Looking it over, today's taste testing corner was a bust.

Trey: At least we're able to get people to try the ＭＡＴＣＨＡ, but the ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ is a different problem altogether.

Trey: Hmm… There is a recipe using ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ in an Eastern sweets recipe book…

Trey: If they'd just eat it, they'd realize that it has a rich sweetness and an addictive flavor…

Trey: "Strange," huh...

Trey: Maybe I'll just change how it looks with magic and… Nah, that'd just get us complaints once the magic wears off after they buy it.

Trey: …I'm running out of ideas. I think I'll make some kind of pastry to take my mind off it.

[whisking]

Trey: Now that I think about it, the cream puff I'm making now is beige. The custard cream inside is a light yellow.

Trey: Whipped cream and cookies are a similar color too…

Trey: That's probably why the green color of the ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ looks strange.

Trey: If ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ was made with a more familiarly colored paste, it'd be easier to at least get people to try a bite…

???: Huh? There's a light on in the kitchen. I wonder if someone's in there?

Cater: Oh hey, it's you, Trey-kun. What're you making this late?

Trey: Hey, Cater. You hungry? I was just making some cream puffs to take my mind off something…

Trey: …Wait. Maybe you'd be able to come up with an idea that could be useful.

Cater: Eh, what do you mean? If it's gotta do with sweets, that's completely out of my lane, y'know?

Trey: Actually, this is something that only you could advise me on, Cater. So, basically…

Trey: What would you do if someone asked you to "make something that isn't visually appealing pop"?

Cater: Something not visually appealing, huh. I mean, that'll depend on what it is, but…

Cater: Well, if it's something plain-looking, I'd litter it with decorations.

Cater: It'll look good if it's all stickered up and glittery, right?

Trey: I see…

Trey: But I think it'd be a bit difficult to decorate "that."

Cater: And then… If it's a person, you could turn up the brightness, or use some kind of filter when taking their picture? Also…

Cater: If it's just an object, I'd just hide whatever doesn't look good ♪

Trey: You'd hide… whatever doesn't look good?

Cater: Yeah, it happens a lot. You'll see trash bins, signs, or other unappealing things when trying to take a picture at a primo spot.

Cater: And when that happens, I'll just position my travel mug or hand just in the right place to hide it.

Cater: I mean, you were asking about how to make something visually unappealing appealing, so maybe that wasn't helpful.

Trey: No… I feel like I might be just a little closer to an answer… ...Hide what doesn't look good?

[oven beeps]

Cater: Oh. Trey-kun, looks like the cream puff pastries are done. I'll take them out of the oven for you～

Trey: Right, thanks… It's dangerous, so make sure you put on an oven mitt…

Trey: …AAHH!!

Cater: Wah!? Wh-What is it?

Trey: I see, I get it! If I just make some changes to that dessert I saw in the recipe book earlier…!

Trey: Thanks, Cater. I might be able to do something about this, now.

Cater: Eh, what's going on!? You're… welcome…?

Trey: Now that that's decided, I can't waste any time. I need to whip up a sample before the shop opens tomorrow.

Trey: Alright, I'm going to make something different now. Cater, think you can help me with your opinion?

Cater: M-Me!? I mean～ Uh, I think there's gotta be someone more suited to…

Trey: I know, I know. I said I wanted your opinion, but I'm not asking you to taste the pastry's flavor or anything.

Trey: I just want you to give me your honest opinion on how it looks.

Trey: I want to make it as perfect as I possibly can before tomorrow. Will you help me, Cater?

Cater: Uhhh… I don't really get it yet, but you're going to try to make something that'll be super photogenic, right?

Cater: Then, can I be the first to upload it to Magicam? If so, then I'll totally help you, no prob ♪

Trey: Of course, thanks. Alright then, I'll make the first batch, so just wait a moment.

Trey: With this, I'm sure…

[Mister S's Mystery Shop]

Ortho: Good morning, Trey-san! We have 20 minutes and 39 seconds before the shop opens.

Trey: S-So specific, as always… Morning. There are a few things I want to prep before we open…

Trey: Ortho, did you print out the info I sent you last night?

Ortho: You mean the stuff that was attached to the email with the "New Taste Testing Corner" idea you sent last night?

Ortho: Of course, I also printed out images I thought might be necessary, too. I made it into a pamphlet here.

Trey: Thanks, you did fantastic. Now, all that's left is to set up.

Trey: Just like I said last night, we'll set up a taste testing corner again today. Ortho, I need you to make the ＭＡＴＣＨＡ.

Ortho: Right, got it. Is the way I made it yesterday good?

Trey: Actually, I want you to change it up a little bit. Like this…

Ortho: …Eh, only that?

Trey: Welcome. This here is our tasting corner for our Eastern foodstuffs. Would you like to try something?

Pomefiore Student: Again? I don't care how many times you try, I'm never going to eat your sweet-smelling green moss!

Pomefiore Student: WAIT… I-IS THIS A SMALL, THUMB-SIZED HEDGEHOG!? HOW ADORABLE…!

Trey: There are these sweets in the East called "ＮＥＲＩＫＩＲＩ" that resembles flowers, or leaves.

Trey: I started with that, and made something similar, using hedgehogs as my motif.

Diasomnia Student: What's the commotion over here…? HUH THIS IS A DESSERT!?

Heartslabyul Student: The individual needles of the hedgehog looks so real! Are we allowed to eat this?

Trey: Of course. I made a lot, so please have a bite.

Heartslabyul Student: Wow! It's not just cute, it's also delicious! It's sweet, and kinda savory…

Pomefiore Student: You're right, I never knew there could be a sweet like this! …Hm? This stuff inside…

Trey: Oh, you noticed. That's right, the inside is made of the ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ.

Heartslabyul/Pomefiore Students: EHH!!?

Trey: What do you think? Aren't the sweet green peas actually pretty tasty once you try it, like I said?

Pomefiore Student:  Y-Yeah… The unique flavor of the green peas is softened by the sugar,

Pomefiore Student:  And is basically even easier to swallow down. I avoided it because of how it looked, but just one bite changed my mind.

Trey: Haha, I'm glad you get it now. If you want, you can have another.

Scarabia Student: Mmm, it's delicious…! But now, it's starting to feel a little too sweet in my mouth.

Ortho: Then, how about you try the ＭＡＴＣＨＡ with it? It really goes well with the ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ's sweetness.

Scarabia Student: Urgh, that's the bitter and tart drink from yesterday, right? I'm not sure…

Trey: Don't worry. Just take a sip, you'll see that it's not as bitter as yesterday.

Scarabia Student: Uhhh… Well, if you say so…

Scarabia Student: …Huh? I mean, it is still a little bitter, but it might not be as bad as yesterday.

Diasomnia Student: You're right. The sweetness and the bitterness go really well together and it feels like they're drawing out that delicious flavor even more.

Trey: ＮＥＲＩＫＩＲＩ is actually a sweet that is usually served together with ＭＡＴＣＨＡ during tea ceremonies, so they're quite compatible.

Trey: Also, we whisked the ＭＡＴＣＨＡ up even more than yesterday, building a froth that should be more a more mellow taste.

Trey: This combination of a sweet ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ and a bitter ＭＡＴＣＨＡ… Doesn't it just make you crave more?

Pomefiore Student:  C-Can I have some ＭＡＴＣＨＡ too?

Heartslabyul Student: ME TOO, PLEASE!

Ortho: This is amazing, Trey-san! No one wanted it yesterday, but now they're coming in droves…!

Trey: No… All we've done so far is to get rid of the bias against ＵＧＵＩＳＵ　ＡＮ and ＭＡＴＣＨＡ. The most important part comes next.

Trey: So, ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ and ＭＡＴＣＨＡ are both ingredients that can actually spice up other everyday dishes.

Trey: I went and tried a few pastries and dishes, wondering what they could go with…

Trey: You can spread ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ on bread, or you can sandwich it in a croissant with butter.

Trey: ＭＡＴＣＨＡ can be stirred into milk to make a latte, or be mixed into the batter for a pound cake, as well.

Trey: So I had Ortho put together a pamphlet with those and a few other different recipes.

Trey: For those who buy ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ and ＭＡＴＣＨＡ, we'll throw that pamphlet in for free. How's that sound?

Pomefiore Student: That actually doesn't sound bad. It might look weird, but I definitely liked the flavor of the ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ…

Scarabia Student: Yeah, I think I'm actually getting used to the ＭＡＴＣＨＡ aroma. I bet it'd be great mixing it in with a bunch of stuff!

Diasomnia Student: It's unusual, useful, and delicious, an amazing trifecta. Okay, I'll buy it.

Heartslabyul Student: I'll buy it too!

Trey: Alright! Thank you for your purchase. I'll check you all out one by one.

Trey: …With this, the ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ and ＭＡＴＣＨＡ surplus has dwindled down.

Ortho: Great job, Trey-san! I can't believe all that leftover stock sold out in one day!

Trey: Haha, it wasn't all me. I only thought of ＮＥＲＩＫＩＲＩ thanks to Cater's advice.

Trey: I saw them when I was looking through a recipe book of Eastern sweets, and I guess how they looked just stuck with me.

Trey: There are many people who are reluctant to try the ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ because of how it looks. That's why I tried to hide it with the ＮＥＲＩＫＩＲＩ batter.

Trey: No one even suspected that the ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ was hiding inside of those cute little hedgehogs.

Ortho: It's still amazing. I think that today's success is all because of your skills in making sweets, Trey-san!

Trey: You think? But it wouldn't have worked out in time you hadn't prepared the pamphlet to pass out alongside the sales, Ortho.

Trey: I'll need to thank Cater later for his help, too.

Sam: Nyeheehee… Looks like you're having fun, my little imps. From what I can tell, it looks like your cool promotion was a success.

Ortho: Sam-san, hello!

Trey: Thank you. We were able to somehow sell the ＵＧＵＩＳＵ ＡＮ and ＭＡＴＣＨＡ.

Sam: Wonderful! That's my Lucky Boys for you. You're getting so much closer to that special bonus.

Sam: Can't wait to see more of your diligent work, bro! Nyeheehee.

Trey: Thank you, Sam-san.

Ortho: Yay! Oookay, I'm gonna work even harder than I have been!

Trey: Yeah, me too. Let's keep going and get our hands on that special bonus together.

Requested by @farfalla049.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Seven Days to Fall Again | Wednesday | Jeon Jungkook

Inspired by the MV "Seven" by Jung Kook ft. Latto (obvi lol) Summary: Starting out fresh. Jungkook comes over to help you but he wants to be given a chance to show you his side. Pairing: Reader x Jungkook (almost exes to lovers lol) Word Count: 2.6k~ Warnings: A little bit of explicit language but that's pretty much it lol a/n: I wasn't sure how I was going to go about this one because he's Wednesday and oml this is my favorite look/scene but I hopefully did alright lol let me know what you think <3 Start from the beginning

Waking up just like I did yesterday I reach over to check for him on the other side of the bed again and groan in frustration. Most days he would be up and out of the house before I even woke up when we were still together so I don't know why I keep checking. 

This was what I wanted though. I wanted peace and serenity, not watching and waiting in the silence for Jungkook to come home, just for him to barely acknowledge me. I wanted to live life on my own terms, so why am I still looking over my shoulder, expecting him to be there. 

I get out of bed and look around to make sure I have all of our dirty clothes so I can get ready to go to the laundry room downstairs. Seeing as I haven't given him a chance to come and collect everything yet I should just wash his laundry along with mine, it's the least I could do.

I walk around my room one last time to see if I could find something like a rouge sock thrown somewhere but before I'm able to even look under the bed I hear a knock on the door. 

Walking up to it and looking through the peep hole I see yet again to my displeasure Jungkook looking bright eyed and bushy tailed on the other side. "What is it this time?" I ask through the door, hoping I could find an excuse to send him away without having to face him this time. 

"Today's Wednesday right?" he says, stating the obvious. "Yes. Your point?" I ask waiting for him to continue. "I thought I would help you do the laundry. Or do it myself if you would prefer, since some of my clothes are still mixed in with yours" he says, trailing off a bit at the end. "I got it. I'll call you when they're ready" I say and walk away, hoping that'll make him leave. 

"Can I at least carry the basket for you?" he offers a bit louder, making sure I can still hear him. I wait a second or two to weigh the pros and cons of this to figure out if letting him help would be to my benefit.

Pro, I wouldn't have to go to the laundry room alone or carry the heavy basket downstairs. Con, Jungkook would be there. Pro, if that creepy guy is there like he always is then hopefully Jungkook's presence would be enough to keep him away. Con, Jungkook would assume that I need him there.

Before I'm able to come up with another sequence he knocks on the door softly again. "Noona please let me help you" he pleads quietly. He sounds so broken that my body moves on it's own before my brain can catch up and I end up opening the door and see his eyes light up immediately before I can even try to stop myself.

"Just carry the basket there and then you can leave" I say holding my hand up to stop any words he had planned to say to me. "Yes Noona" he says softly and trails after me to the bedroom, picking it up and walking towards the door again.

"Do you have everything you need?" he asks once we're about to head out, hoping to be helpful. "I'm pretty sure I do" I say looking through the bag that I always have set aside with all of the products I'll need. "Did you grab the fabric softener?" he asks, sporting a slight pout knowing that I've sometimes forgotten it. 

Huff in annoyance seeing that I have done just as he had thought, knowing me well enough to still remind me like he used to. "I'll go get it!" he says, placing the basket down next to me and running into the bathroom to grab it. I roll my eyes and lean up against the door, waiting until he runs back up to me with a bright smile. 

"Got it!" he says placing it into the basket for him to carry instead of giving it to me. "Let's go" I say in a monotone voice, trying to sound as unamused as I can so I can keep myself from smiling at him. I'm still in love with him as much as I hate to admit it but they say if you really love someone then you should let them go. 

This boy on the other hand refuses to 'let go' since he sticks to me like glue, following my every move no matter what I say. 

"Jungkook stop" I say while going up to one of the washers, putting some of the dark clothes in. "What?" he asks, feigning innocence. "I told you to leave after you carried the basket down for me". He makes no moves in response to what I've said as he is still perched up on top of one of the dryers. Legs dangling down, looking comfortable as ever he shamelessly checks me out and does so even once I've turned around to face him.

"So?" he asks clearing his throat after he's noticed how long the pause in our conversation had been, finally noticing that he's expected to respond. "So why are you still here?" I ask grabbing the empty basket and going back to continue separating the rest of our clothes.

"I said I wanted to help" he says while jumping down from the dryer and following after me. "And I told you that I didn't need your help" I say focusing on the task at hand. "Well either way I'm gonna stay" he says and starts to help, making me throw down the shirt I was holding. 

"I told you that you had to leave after you carried this down here and you agreed" I say starting to get impatient with him. "I changed my mind when I saw that old man hanging out outside. Has he ever bothered you before?" he asks quietly, trying to avoid confrontation before knowing all the facts.

"Yes he has but that doesn't concern you anymore" I say walking around the table, trying to end the conversation but he continues to follow me nonetheless. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks, getting upset that I let myself go through that on my own. "Because you were never around to tell" I say, starting to raise my voice. "Baby please" he say trying to calm me down while unknowingly doing the opposite. "You do not get to call me that" I say sternly backing away from him. "I'm sorry, can we just talk about this?" he asks taking a step closer. 

"I told you I don't want to talk to you. We're done!" I state and grab some more clothes to throw in another washer. He still watches my every move and waits for me this time instead to come back towards him. He walks up to me and opens his mouth to say something once I get closer but I have to cut him off since I can feel my determination to tell him 'no' faltering. As much as I would like to say 'yes' to him, we're just not compatible. 

"I really don't have time for this Jungkook so can you please just leave?" I plead, this time going at it with a different approach. "You keep on saying that we've talked about why we should break up but you never really gave me a chance to tell you what I thought and why we shouldn't break up" he explains, showing me some sense of maturity that I had forgotten he had. 

"Just please let me fix things, I want to fix us. I promise I can change" he begs, flipping a switch in my brain. There we go, there's that sad excuse for an apology and a horrible way to start off this sort of conversation. 

"You know you've said that before right? When we had this same sort of talk about our relationship six months ago. You told me 'oh I'll stop bringing work home' and 'oh I'll make sure not to come home late'. See where that's landed us again? Our lives are not progressing or changing for the better. We're just going round and round until we get to this point again where I can't deal with it anymore. No, I'm done" I say and walk away from the table to get away from him. 

"Noona please I jus-" "Stop following me!" I say while shoving him away, catching him somewhat off guard. He stumbles back a bit and ends up stepping on the hose to one of the washers, ripping it out of the wall and making water spill out all over the floor. "Shit!" he says and quickly looks around for any sort of tap he could use to stop the flow. 

I roll my eyes at him and walk up to the exact one he's looking for and turn the water off on my own. He looks over at me with a somewhat guilty expression, "I'll go um, tell the landlord what happened" he says scratching the back of his head awkwardly and makes his way over to the office with his tail in between his legs.

I decide to just head back up to my apartment and come back to switch over the clothes later so I can get dressed and hopefully gain some more distance between Jungkook and I. If he doesn't find me in the laundry room then he would just leave right? 

My theory is proven wrong though when I hear yet again another knock at the door soon after I've gotten ready for the day. 

"What?" I ask opening the door, not even bothering to check to see who it is. I look down at his clothes, seeing that both his white shirt and grey zip up are soaked through. I gulp when I see how the shirt clings to him and shows a hint of what he's hiding underneath but I quickly flick my gaze back up to his.

"Do you think I could come in and change and well, maybe take a shower too?" he asks brushing some of his equally wet hair out of his face. 

"What happened to you?" I question, surprised as to how he could've gotten that wet. "I tried to help the landlord fix the washer but when he tried to turn the water back on it started pouring out all over again and because I was crouched down in front of it, it just..." he explains, dropping off at the end and motions at his wet clothing. 

I stand there for another second or two and drink him in. Not having seen a sight like this from him in a while it brings up old memories of nights we spent together and I ju- "So...can I come in?" he asks, cutting off my train of thought with a little lilt in his voice from clearly noticing what I was doing. 

"I- um- yeah do whatever you need to do" I say opening the door wide for him and he walks in, stopping right next to me to take his shoes off. He slips a bit when he steps out of one of them and I on instinct pull him towards me to keep him from falling leaving his hands planted on the wall above my head and his body looming over me. 

"Noona" he says in a deep voice causing a jolt of electricity to run through my body. "Huh?" I let out while looking up at him, not being able to formulate any words with this sort of proximity held between us. 

"Are you gonna let go?" he asks and I look to see the iron grip I have on his jacket on a spot that is right in front of his peck and I can now notice the rising and falling of his chest against my hand. "Oh" I say surprised at what I had done and let go of him quickly and duck out from under his arm, creating some space between us and going to the kitchen to make breakfast. 

"Have you eaten yet?" I ask busing myself with getting some ingredients together. "No" he answers and follows right behind me. "Go take a shower or whatever and I'll have some food waiting for you when you get out" I say and start cutting up some fruit. 

I look up for a second since I haven't heard a sound after I had said that and see him just leaning up against the doorway gazing at me longingly. "What are you doing?" I ask raising a brow at him. "Just admiring you" he says with a soft smile. "Jeon Jungkook you better take those wet clothes off and go take a shower or I'll throw you out right now" I say pointing the knife at him. 

He holds both of his hands up and backs away, giving me a crooked smile and chuckles as he makes his way down the hall. "Yes Noona" he says and the next sound I hear is the door to the bathroom closing behind him. 

~~~~~~

After Jungkook comes out of the shower he sits down to eat and looks up at me confused. "You're not gonna eat?" he questions taking a bite of the toast I gave him and taking a sip of orange juice. "I ate while you were in the shower" I say as I start to clean up and put the dishes in the dishwasher.

"Leave that there I can take care of it later" he tells me instead of offering. "You really just don't know when to quit do you?" I say and continue to scrub the cutting board so I can take some of my physical frustration out on something. "What do you mean?" he questions with a tilt of his head looking almost clueless which is even more infuriating.

"Just because I let you take a shower and made you breakfast does not mean that you get to tell me what to do. This is one of the reasons why I wanted to break up because the way you speak to me, although it might sound like something small to you, makes me feel like you're belittling me" I explain after having taken a second to gather my thoughts.

"I was just trying to help" he says looking down at his plate and not bothering to take another bite. "I know, believe me I do, but the way you say things can sound so commanding and I hate it. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself so please just stop" I finish and dry my hands off after finishing up the dishes. 

"You can just put your dishes in the sink when you're done and lock the door on your way out. I've gotta go study" I say walking back into my bedroom and closing the door behind me. I hear him leave soon after that but I can't bother to get up and check to make sure he's actually gone. 

This somehow was more painful than it was when I broke up with him. It was like we were back to how we used to be, doing the laundry, taking a shower, making breakfast, the mundane things in life. But the whole thing was tainted by the present and the choices we had made in the past led us to where we are today and I just want it all to stop. 

I can't live like this anymore. I won't.  

Tuesday / Thursday

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[suitov]

Wrong on Multi Levels (Kamukoma Week '24)

"You attempted to brainwash him," repeated Izuru.

"And it went despairingly wrong."

"And it went wrong."

"I only wanted to show him the joys of despair!"

"I told you to leave him out of your schemes."

"Well, good friends share their toys!" said Junko Enoshima.

"You qualify as neither."

"And anyway it didn't work, so I don't see why you're bitching."

Izuru looked at his property. His property currently had two first-years cornered and was looming over them, trying to sell them 'reasonably-priced' starter kits.

"Interfere with him again and I shall make your life extremely unpleasant and despair-free," he told his omg✨bestie✨5✨eva. And Izuru Kamukura swished away.

---------

"The compensation plan is a little complicated and I'm gay, but I figured it out," Nagito was telling his classmates. "Each month you have two legs and the payout -- well, first I have to explain recruitment..."

"Wh-what's he on about?" whined Mikan. "I-I'm pretty sure he's d-delirious. He keeps talking about things that don't make sense -- more than usual,, I mean,,, like lines down and talentpreneurs--"

"Downline," corrected Izuru, making her shriek by appearing out of nowhere as usual. "Do not buy things from him and do not sign up for things."

"But he r-really wants me to,,, and he looks so sad if you say no,,,, and he said he's only ten sales away from ranking up his m-monthly bonus,,"

"He has an illness," Izuru said. "Recovery depends on his not being encouraged and not dragging others into the delusion."

("Holy shit, you guys!" said Leon, ignoring them on his way to talk to his friends. "I just got an amazing deal on some oils that'll make the chicks flock to me, guaranteed!"

"Guaranteed?" asked Kazuichi.

"And they disinfect your piercings, too!")

---------

"Quit?" repeated Nagito in shock. "But I'm already so successful! Half the school is signed up under my team and my personal sales volume is already at Premium Tiara Peach Passion level even before reinvesting my profits!"

"You are engaged in a business scam and dragging others into it," said Izuru. "Others who, lacking your luck, are 99.7% likely to lose money in this scheme."

"Well... maybe, if you trust the income disclosure documents," said Nagito with scorn. "But you know what I say. Never tell me the odds!"

"You have not said that, ever."

"If you'd just join, you could be my upline," said Nagito, whose eyes were big and practically rippling. "You could lock arms with me and my tribe of boss-Ultimates and change lives all over the world simply by sharing the incredible, organic, cruelty-free, vegan, hope-filled products you love. It would mean a lot to me. Please, hon?"

Izuru, faced with the full wattage of that smile, hesitated.

---------

"Well, you never said you wanted a way to undo it!" whined Ryota.

"You never said it'd go fucky-wucky and make him start a pyramid scheme!"

"It wasn't supposed to! You must've used it wrong!"

"Anyway, cure. Before I start cutting parts off you."

"I can't work in these conditions!" he bleated. "Mukuro's already tried to sell me a diffuser and it's not even morning bell!"

"Huh," said Junko. "Bitch didn't try to sell me a diffuser."

"That's not the point!"

"Just make an undo button for it already, hikikomori."

---------

"Further research," said Izuru, "has revealed that the proper treatment of this disease is to give Nagito Komaeda whatever he wants forever."

"U-um,," replied Mikan.

"And to tell him he is pretty. And cute, and good."

"I-I think it's,, getting worse,,," she told Ibuki.

"That stuff smells gross!" complained Akane.

"Just one drop of basil oil in your pasta will fill you with manly passion!" Nekomaru bellowed down at Teruteru.

"You can't ingest that stuff, cher!"

"You can! It's vegan and organic!"

"So is deadly nightshade..."

"They grow their own lavender!" Nekomaru roared at some fleeing freshmen.

---------

"I'll never live this down," Junko Enoshima moaned, kicking a broken stall off the school walkway.

"At least we stopped it," said Ryota. "And I can go outside again now that stinky stuff isn't giving me asthma attacks."

"I can't believe I saved this freaking school!"

"Um, well, I did all the--"

"And as for Izuru, that backstabbing hoe! Ditching me to play mommy's makeup store with some sickly luck slut!"

"That's not a nice thing to ca--"

"Can't rely on anyone for anything," snarled Junko, pausing to stomp a few discarded vials into an essential oil slick.

Ryota pulled on a face mask hurriedly. "Did anyone actually make any money, you think?"

"Well, I did."

"What? But you didn't even join in all the selling..."

"Bought a 50:50 share in Komaeda's outfit as soon as he started. That guy's luck is something else."

"Does that mean you're going to pay me for any of the work I've done?"

"No," said Junko.