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I love the idea of of UA War Games, but I feel that it's not used with all the potential that it has. Every single one that I read, it's the same: Midoriya and Bakugou are team leaders; Midoriya is the villain, Bakugou is the hero. Midoriya wins because he has the best plans.

BUT people seem to forgot that those two grew up together and, in that case, Bakugou would have seen Midoriya's unhinged side at some point. And that is the point that I present to everyone.

Yes, Bakugou knows that he can go toe to toe against Midoriya when it comes to being a hero. But he also knows what would happen should Midoriya ever became a villain.

Naturally, because Bakugou is smart and not suicidal, he goes against everyone's beliefs and chose to be at Midoriya's side. No one but him knows why, and shit got more strange when he works as his second in command.

Of course, after the hero's team is completely obliterated by the villains they understood Bakugou's choice.

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Tim: Do you think Alfred is pregnant? Alfred looks pregnant.

Damian: Don't be ridiculous, Drake! First of all she has been spayed, second of all she has never had sexual intercourse.

Tim: You let her roam the manor grounds on her own, how are you so sure?

Damian: because I made sure every tom in the neighborhood knows I will defend her honour with my sword!

Jason, who has only just started to come back to the manor and does not know about Alfred the cat, overhearing this:

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Things you learn when in the Tim Drake fandom:

What a spleen does, that removing it is called a splenectomy, and what the effects of it are

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I was with my mom and the speakers were blasting Emo Boy, by Ayesha Erotica (not my brightest moment I know, but mom's reaction is funny), and I start laughing because no one can convince that Bernard didn't blast that song to mess with Tim when he wants his attention.

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Y'all know that tiktok audio about kidnapping that goes "shit got weird! I was with my hand on her throat and she looked me straight in the eyes and said 'harder'" or something like that?

Give me something like that!

The batboys fighting some goons in a warehouse. One got a lucky opening and got his hands on Tim's neck (why Tim? I don't know, but it's him), Tim opens his mouth to trash talk the dude, but his brain-to-mouth filter decides to not work that day.

Everyone freezes, because wtf?! Heroes and goons are shocked!

Certainly, they heard wrong. Nightwing, Red Hood and Robin have their comms and heard it clearly, but of course they're hallucinating!

Except that Red Robin is blushing and the goon he was fighting seems to be having a stroke.

"What the fuck did you say, Replacement?" Jason is the first to react.

He's blushing harder.

"I didn't mean to. It was automatic."

You can see a lot of bad guys mouthing "automatic?" with incredulity.

If you look closer, you can see Nightwing's soul leaving his body, because not only his baby brother has a sexual life with his boyfriend (you choose the boyfriend, be it Kon or Bernard. I don't care), but he probably just discovered one of his baby brother's kinks. That was something that he never wanted in his life.

And hey, remember that the comms were on? All of them had to hear Spoiler contribute her two cents with "damn Red, you weren't like that when we were dating".

You can hear Damian groan somewhere and regret his life because his family are a bunch of morons.

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Part 17 masterpost

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[wivelya]

I was talking with my friend yesterday and she talked about how Jason would probably forget to tell things - important things - to his family after having almost no contact for so long. Basically Tim (because he's nosy) and Alfred (because he's Alfred) knowing and the others discovering just because something happened. Like:

"All the Batfam together per Alfred's request. A tense dinner but Damian still hasn't tried to kill someone so it's a win.

Jason's phone rings. Everyone frowns because they all know Alfred forbid phones at the table.

J: Sorry, Alfie. I need to take this one

Then he leaves the room and, when he comes back, he's a nervous mess.

J: Hey Replacement, get the car ready. We're going to the hospital

Everyone tenses, but Tim and Alfred have an inkling on what might have happened.

T: What? But there's still two months.

J: I know, dipshit. Get the car.

They both leave, not caring about the rest of the family worrying about what the hell just happened.

Dick: what was that?

Alfred, always his collected self: It appears to me, Master Dick, that your niece decided today is a nice day to have as a birthday.

Then everyone panics because what does Alfred mean with 'niece'?"

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YES!!! I had no idea if I saw that on Tumblr, ao3 or tiktok and I was going nuts!! Thank you!! Now I can be in peace 🥹

I'm looking for a fic I read some time ago

Basically Dick leaves after Bruce ends up in the time stream, which means that Tim had to step up and take care of Damian. I remember Hood appears somewhere and starts helping Tim since he has a lot on his plate (WE, taking care of Damian, training Damian, being a vigilante himself, his search for Bruce)

I don't remember if it has any relationship, nor do I remember how many chapters it has. I don't even remember if it's good, it's just that the plot is stuck on my mind for a few weeks now

Also, if more people decide to write about that I'll be grateful. I love some Tim and Damian bonding time

[wivelya]

I'm looking for a fic I read some time ago

Basically Dick leaves after Bruce ends up in the time stream, which means that Tim had to step up and take care of Damian. I remember Hood appears somewhere and starts helping Tim since he has a lot on his plate (WE, taking care of Damian, training Damian, being a vigilante himself, his search for Bruce)

I don't remember if it has any relationship, nor do I remember how many chapters it has. I don't even remember if it's good, it's just that the plot is stuck on my mind for a few weeks now

Also, if more people decide to write about that I'll be grateful. I love some Tim and Damian bonding time

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Tim: wait, you quit smoking?

Jason: I quit smoking when I became Robin.

Tim: Ok,That Is Not True. I've seen you smoke recently, don't gaslight me!

Dick: You didn't really quit smoking when you were Robin Jay, you used to take my cigs sometimes

Duke: wait,, YOU used to smoke??

Dick: Yeah, back when I was Nightwing

Duke: You're /still/ Nightwing ???

Tim: He means back when he was Discowing

Duke: What's discowing???

Jason: The reason I used to smoke.

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Does anyone know any story with the "He's Ours" trope, but the comedically and non-sexy type?

Like Brucie goes to some random city (not really important to this) because of WE and some random gang kidnaps him because "he's dumb and got money". Word spreads and, while the bats and the birds are making a plan, some rogues from Gotham decide to just go heads on and rescue him because "how dare they mess with the Wayne family? Yes, we might have kidnapped him and some of his kids a few times, but we can do that, we're from Gotham."

I've been wanting to read something like that just for shits and giggles

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Bruce "I have to add this child to my family" Wayne getting disappointed after discovering that Peter has a dad, just to find out said dad is HIS SON. Proceeds to have a mild crisis because he's too young to have a 16yo grandkid

jason ‘i would do anything for these crime ally kids’ todd would absolutely adopt peter ‘i like helping around the neighbourhood’ parker

and alfred would absolutely help him get his stuff ready and maybe suggest for jason to live at the manor so peter doesn’t feel scared outside and so alfred can feed him because “Have you looked at him! a stiff wind can blow him away!”

and then shenanigans if the batfam hiding peter from bruce IN HIS OWN MANOR so he doesn’t adopt him when they are technically his aunts and uncles

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This, right here, is the perfect recipe to turn me into a crying mess. I'll be bawling my eyes, knowing from the start how the story ends (he dies), but I'll keep reading because I like to make myself suffer through emotional damage

You don't understand there's a part of me that wants Alfred Pennyworth to never age but there's another part that's like

As Alfred grows older his body grows tired and everyone notices. And for Bruce that's his surrogate father. For everyone else that's Grandpa. Immediately there's a secret boot camp in the Batcave for everyone to start learning how to better care for themselves. Selina Kyle assisting of course.

There's already disability accommodations for Barbara so they just need to tweak and add some stuff. They've learned from her needs and start researching on how to care for the elderly for Alfred specifically.

On paper he's still a butler but really everyone (who lives or stays for a long time in Wayne manor) makes sure they learn how to do the hardwork for themselves. Most of his job is just to be there for them honestly. They insist on doing things for themselves.

But Alfred is Alfred. So he knows what's going on. And he's so deeply proud of them. He doesn't let him do anything he insists he can or wants do himself. He's still his own person after all, and they gradually learn his boundaries and patterns.

Bruce keeps paying him but not in a way you'd pay a butler usually. More in a way where you'd send money to your retired parents.

Do you see my vision?