marshmallow-rain

[marshmallow-rain]

IMPORTANT: TUMBLR & FANFICTION

Alright kids, listen up because @staff have pulled off a corker of a hot mess and have decided to add "Community Labels". I guess they've decided we can't be trusted to add our own warnings and people can't make sensible choices with what they engage with.

But why does it matter to me?

Tumblr have made labels AN OPT IN SITUATION which means every single blog here is automatically set to hide any triggering content

If you want to continue to be able to access and read fanfiction PLEASE go into your settings and click "show" on at least the "Mature" and "Sexual Themes" labels!!

ALSO IOS USERS: there's an extra fun "Hide additional content" bit just to really try and block us from any hopes of success. Make sure you opt out of that too otherwise I think content will be blocked on the mobile app!

Attached to this post are screenshots from my settings so you guys know what to look for. I could only find it on my desktop settings and not on the mobile app (for now at least)qq

[marshmallow-rain]

it’s interesting learning which homophobic ideas are confusing and unfamiliar to the next generation. for example, every once in a while i’ll see a post going around expressing tittering surprise at someone’s claim that gay men have hundreds of sexual partners in their lifetimes. while these posts often have a snappy comeback attached, they send a shiver down my spine because i remember when those claims were common, when you’d see them on the news or read them in your study bible. and they were deployed with a specific purpose — to convince you not just that gay men were disgusting and pathological, but that they deserved to die from AIDS. i saw another post laughing at the outlandish idea that gay men eroticize and worship death, but that too was a standard line, part and parcel of this propaganda with the goal of dehumanizing gay men as they died by the thousands with little intervention from mainstream society.

which is not to say that not knowing this is your fault, or that i don’t understand. i’ll never forget sitting in a classroom with my high school gsa, all five of us, watching a documentary on depictions of gay and bi people in media (off the straight and narrow [pdf transcript] — a worthwhile watch if your school library has it) when the narrator mentioned “the stereotype of the gay psycho killer.” we burst into giggles — how ridiculous! — then turned to our gay faculty advisors and saw their pale, pained faces as they told us “no, really. that was real” and we realized that what we’d been laughing at was the stuff of their lives.

it’s moving and inspiring to see a new generation of kids growing up without encountering these ideas. it’s a good thing. but at the same time, we have to pass on the knowledge of this pain, so we’re not caught unawares when those who hate us come back with the oldest tricks in the book.

[marshmallow-rain]

Trans-inclusive language in religious texts is SO IMPORTANT. There is nothing in some young people’s lives that can either validate or dehumanize them so quickly as how they see themselves represented in the words of their religion.

May all who need to see these words find them.

[marshmallow-rain]

So the internet is not working over here. No idea why, it’s been weeks. And I want to see what’s up with the Ignihyde chapter before I put anything new in my Mainstream Villain AU since my idea is getting Vil’s parts done and then focus on either Azul’s or Malleus’. You can see why I’m stuck without proper internet.

Though I’ve been working in a one-shot starring ✨Leona✨ in Vil’s villain(ess) universe. I’m totally not trying to compensate for the fact I have no ideas for this man. It should be done once I figure out how to get from point A to point B and how to make the cut thing on my phone ‘cause it’s long (there’s a way, right? Right??).

Anyway, it’s Pride Month and it’s very acephobic that my internet refuses to work even in this month. I don’t know if companies over here do that thing where they capitalize on LGBT+ stuff (it’s said Target does that, not that I’ve ever seen one in my life), but the idea of antis-LGBT+ being scared out of shops as if they’re haunted is funny (and almost sad, it’s just a rainbow).

Anyway (again), I’ve been thinking (because I can’t for the life of mine focus myself in one idea) about making a series of Record of Ragnarok headcanons/one-shots (I keep jumping between one and the other) where [character] is the reader’s parent. I crave platonic content in reader inserts and many of these characters (Greek gods, I’m looking at you) are parents in the canon mythology, no way I’m missing this chance.

If anyone wants to know, I intend to make it gender neutral, focused on Ragnarok contenders and keep the reader’s other parent (if any) non-present (bar Adam/Eve’s case). The relationships will be of mutual love or fondness or respect or something. I want to try my hand at making the reader’s feelings ambiguous, since I’m doing this for the sake of making aromantic-friendly reader insert content, I figured I could try to make it aplatonic-friendly, too.

If you’re willing to, pray for me. Please, I don’t know what to do about Poseidon 😭

[marshmallow-rain]

Hmn? What does my repulsion towards Tyrannosaurus rex has to do with my parents fucking?

to my fellow rex repulsed aces, do you ever think about the fact that you were basically made by intercourse

[marshmallow-rain]

Is the Pink Panther trans?

Don't mind me, it's past my bedtime and I can't sleep because this anthropomorphic animal keeps plaguing my thoughts. The sheer audacity.

I don't really tend to headcanon characters' sexual/romantic orientations or gender identities because- I don't know, maybe it's because I'm a romance/sex-repulsed aroace? If I were a character in a piece of media, people might guess I'm bi/pan/something-in-those-lines because of my lack of inclination towards this or that gender... and I would feeling like throwing up. And my business with other people's genders sort of starts and ends with knowing their pronouns and details like that. I also don't wanna feel seen or understood, I prefer it if society classifies me as a cryptid.

Despite it all, I started to have a thoughts about this character from my childhood: the Pink Panther.

[ID: A full body image of the Pink Panther himself over "Pink Panther" written in pink]

There are many who might not remember him or even know him, but when I was a child he was the main character in The Pink Panther Show (1969). My dad grew with it, too.

Although he is indeed pink and "panther" in Spanish (as I came to know him) is a femenine word, I (and everybody else) always thought of him as a guy. Of course, I still think so.

So I watched this video from The Click and there (at 5:19) was shown a chat where a person asks another what animal Pink Panther is. It was kind of funny because one was "he is a panther" and the other "but is he like a lion??", it was like that over and over.

Of course, it might seen ridiculous at first, and Pink Panther is obviously a panther. The thing is that panthers are not a species but every animal under the Panthera genus.

Being called "Pink Panther" isn't any clearer than being called the "Pink Feline". It does help round up the posibilities, though.

So under the Panthera genus there's only 5 living species: all big spotted cats (tigers, jaguars, leopards and snow leopards/ounces) and, yes, lions, too. You can see why one would think the Pink Panther is a lion, as he has no spots on his fur and lions are the only panthers without those.

Well, there are the black panthers. Not an actual species, but melanistic variants of leopards and jaguars, so dark their spots are not very prominent. Should Pink Panther be a pink black panther (as contradictory as it sounds), it wouldn't be too weird for his spots to be omitted. However, Pink Panther's fur is far too light to be melanistic.

If we discard all spotted cats, all that is left are lions and Pink Panther, with his lack of a mane, resembles lionesses far more than their male counterparts. Let's just ignore Pink Panther's tail.

The Pink Panther also has two kids whose other parent has never been shown.

Also, he is mostly presented as a mute kind of character. Suspicious.

So is Pink Panther a trans lion? Dunno, maybe he just shaves his mane (and his tail). However, I started thinking about it and decided to make it everybody else's problem, too.

[marshmallow-rain]

I had to spent two nights in a row in two consecutive blackouts in the middle of the hot season, and that completely messed up my sleeping schedule. I finally got a full rest last night and I'm feeling much more awake.

I'll be working in my TWST's AU, but first I'll be giving some love to Cookie Run: Kingdom, that's actually my main hyperfixation at the moment.

I started playing this game from late December and several things have happened. I got so absorbed on this that I started neglecting Twisted Wonderland and Obey Me! It's just that CRK's playstyle is more understable to me than TWST and my Cookies are much easier to level up than my OM!'s cards.

So here you got my Cookie Run: Kingdom experience so far in an incorrect quotes format.

Content Warning: Light spoilers for Castle in the Sky and Timeless Kingdom, Swearing, Overall bad decision-making.

...

Me: *sees blogs posting about this game about cookies in my dashboard* Huh.

...

Me: *sees blogs posting about having fun with this game about cookies in my dashboard* M'kay, I'm getting curious...

...

Me: So it's an RPG? I like those, but it seems kind of heavy for my phone and I'm kind of busy with Obey Me!, I don't know if I should...

...

Me: Wait, how come nobody told me AmaLee voices one of the characters?? Here I go, Parfait Cookie!

...

Pure Vanilla Cookie:

Me: Oh, this is that cookie I kept seeing around.

...

Me: Everybody sounds so cartoonish, I love it.

...

Me: Yeah, I have a lot of fun with Cookie Run: Kingdom!

Also me: *cries for 30 min because I can't landscape to save my life*

...

Me: Okay, I could start leveling my Cotton Cookie and my Cocoa Cookie and my (other Epic Cookies I got early), but what if I just stick to the starter team till I can't go on.

...

Me: There's this Cookie Alliance thing that just came out in this new update....

Me: Forget it, I haven't even unlocked the Arena.

...

Me, scrolling through the Costume gallery: @end-this-gay-disaster once said Licorice Cookie's Pale Reaper Costume is just Devsisters covering him in cocaine and now I can't unsee it. It's their fault every time I see it I giggle like a middle schooler.

...

Me: Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions.

...

Me: Now that I can't be carried through the story by the starting team, I should put some serious thought in building a new one.

Eclair Cookie: *three (almost four) times promoted during his banner* *greatly recommended by meta*

Me: So anyway... *starts maxing Rye Cookie*

...

Me: I should watch out for these Cookies when I encounter them in the Arena: Legendaries, Ancients, Cottton Cookie, Herb Cookie and Moon Rabbit Cookie. As long as I avoid teams with those particular Cookies, me and my team should be a-okay.

Other players: *has at least one of them in their teams*

Me: *cries*

...

Me: I've being owned so many times for others' Cotton Cookies, I should just max mine.

Cotton Cookies: *becomes my best cookie overnight and carries my team*

Me: Turns out the meta is right, apparently.

...

Me: Should I just start doing the actual layout of my kingdom? So far I've only being throwing buildings around, it's kinda embarrasing...

Me: *trying to make a road* *messes up*

Me: Okay, let's- let's not talk about this ever again.

...

Me: *grabbing the Costume Gacha and shaking it* Why do you keep giving me Costumes for Cookies I don't have?!

...

Me: *adds Eclair Cookie to the Arena blacklist* Who would've thought? *still doesn't max him*

...

Me: *picking Raspberry Cookie* I swear it's nothing personal, Eclair Cookie. It's just that the heart wants what it wants and mine wants an all-lesbian team *looks at Cotton Cookie, Cocoa Cookie, Rye Cookie and Chili Pepper Cookie*

Me: *pointing at Cocoa Cookie* She gets a free pass because I got her Enchanting Night Costume and it's too pretty to be left in my ugly ass kingdom.

...

Cookie Run: Kingdom: *updates*

Me: Ooh! They added a new episode to the main story! The Dark Cacao Kingdom looks so neat! And there's a new Ancient! And there's more about Dark Choco Cookie!

Me: Too bad I'm still stuck in the Forgotten Academy.

...

~Me & Affogato Cookie: A Saga~

Affogato Cookie: *is released*

Me: Devsisters, how did you know I like them cunning, pretty, savvy in politics, Machiavellian, gender non-conforming, morally dubious, ambitious, with a silky voice, evil advicers of a king? It's not like I think he's neat, I just need a Bomber Cookie *immediately starts pulling for him*

Also me, after getting him: I don't trust this funky little Cookie *gesturing towards Affogato Cookie*, he just keeps appearing everywhere. Nevermind the game putting him on tasks to level him up, I think he's just trying to take over my kingdom.

Also, also me: Please, please, just take over my kingdom, Affogato Cookie. I cannot decorate.

Me, picking Affogato Cookie up: Haha, look at him. Little guy's so mad.

Me: Sure, I could max Affogato Cookie, but I also want him to just sit pretty and relax while I make everyone else do all the heavy lifting.

Me as well: I could accept Affogato Cookie's offer to eat sweets together, but we both know we would spend it by him trying to butter me up (unnecessary, he's already got me wrapped around his little finger at first sight) in order to carry out some scheme of his and me bullying him out of love.

Me: *crying* Why do I have to be stuck in chapter 7?! I wanna meet him in the main story already!

...

Me, meeting Black Raisin Cookie: Bro, it's that Cookie I've seeing shipped with Pure Vanilla Cookie, dunno why. She's very cool, should I build her?

Me: She would hate me, though, I really don't like raisins.

...

Me, meeting Healer Cookie: That's Pure Vanilla Cookie! I'm feel so smart, like when I solved A Case of Identity's mystery (from The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes).

Me: I can see why he and Black Raisin Cookie would be shipped.

...

Me: Fine *puts down Raspberry Cookie*, if my Cookies are dying anyway, I might as well just bring Tea Knight Cookie in the team *refuses to look at Tea Knight Cookie's simp*

...

Me, trying to place a bridge over water: Why this bridge won't bridge?!

...

Me: *makes a crappy beach* *makes a crappy campsite* Well, it seems like my Cookies like them.

Me: *sees the rest of my kingdom: a bunch of buildings thrown around* I'm just gonna ignore that for now...

...

Me: Every time I look at my team, I feel it's like Tea Knight Cookie and his granddaughters in a bonding trip that's mostly them in a fighting competition. The winner is whoever has the highest killing count, and Cotton Cookie is winning.

...

Me: *breezes through Episode 7 and 8* Woah, I guess I underestimated my Cookies' growth, I wonder if I'll be able to complete the vanilla adventures.

My team: *dies in Castle in the Sky*

Me: Of course.

...

Me: *adds Cotton Cookie, Herb Cookie and Pure Vanilla Cookie to the Arena blacklist, again* It's so fucking annoying when other people heals, I swear.

...

Me: *shaking the Nether Gacha* Why won't you give me Dark Choco Cookie's dad?! I have to reunite the family!

...

April Fools' Day's Event:

Me: Gosh, I thought this was some gijinka thing when I saw Frost Queen Cookie's transformation on my dash, but it's even funnier than that.

Me: My country only celebrates el Día de los Santos Inocentes, so it's weird seeing this kind of event out of December.

...

Me: This new event is a good excuse to use Cookies I normally wouldn't.

...

Random Cookie: *runs*

Me: *crying* C-cute!

...

Me: I still have PTSD from fighting this Cookie in the Arena, but might as well *buys Moon Rabbit Cookie Fragments*

Moon Rabbit Cookie: *does anything*

Me: *crying* She's too cute!

...

Me: *blacklisting Caramel Arrow Cookie*

Me: *takes the Ancients off my Arena blacklist*

Me: *graylists Eclair Cookie, Moon Rabbit Cookie and Herb Cookie*

Me: Well, that's some weight left off my shoulders.

Me: But why those *gesturing at the Legendaries and Cotton Cookie* don't get any easier?

...

Me, entering my kingdom and seeing a DevNow notice: "Promo code"? Does this game have...? WAIT.

Me: *researches*

Me: *facepalms* Of fucking course.

...

Costume Gacha: *gives me a Costume for the Herb Cookie I don't have*

Me: You know what? Fuck you *starts grinding Herb Cookie's fragments*

...

Gacha: *shows I'm getting an Ancient Cookie*

Me: Dude, dude, this is new, don't you tell me...

Gacha: *gives me Pure Vanilla Cookie*

Me: Woohoo! My first Ancient ever! Nevermind needing a DPS, I gotta give you all my attention!

...

Me: Pfft, everybody looks so tiny besides him.

...

Me: I'm touch-averse, but I really, really want to hug Pure Vanilla Cookie. It's the only thing I can think of whenever I see him on my screen. He just looks so warm and soft and comfy, ugh! I feel like if I could hug I wouldn't need therapy ever again.

...

GingerBrave: *says something about their kingdom having no monarchy*

Me: Wait, I thought I was the queen here? It seems I'm just Architect Cookie, and extra who sucks at her job.

...

Me: Ooh, finally completed the Vanilla Kingdom Adventures, it wasn't that hard. Now on to the Hollyberry Kingdom!

My team: *immediately dies*

Me: Well, shit.

Me: Whatever, at least I finally unlocked the Cookie Alliance, now let's see what this is about...

My team: *immediately dies*

Me: Again? This is pretty acephobic, if you ask me.

...

Me: Pure Vanilla Cookie should have a Healer Cookie Costume, it's kind of weird he doesn't have one since the sprite/model already exists. Maybe to avoid spoilers? It's obvious, though.

Me: It'd make much easier comparing his height to other cookies if he didn't have his big ass cone (affectionate) on his head.

...

Me: You know what? I was hoping to get her on the gacha, but fuck it *buys 20 Parfait Cookie's fragments*

Me: *cries* She's so p-pretty!

Me: Each and every time I'm more convinced I just have a thing for Support Cookies *avoids looking at Eclair Cookie*

...

Gacha: *shows I'm getting an Ancient Cookie, again*

Me: Woah, it hasn't even been a week? I do need with my defense and attack *avoiding looking at Eclair Cookie* so if I get Hollyberry Cookie or Dark Cacao Cookie-

Gacha: *gives me Pure Vanilla Cookie, again*

Me: ... Promoting him is good, too.

...

Me: I got Herb Cookie and I was hoping to max him so I could have a Healing Cookie in the side, but now I already have Pure Vanilla Cookie, so...

...

Me: Okay, I'm seriously running out of ideas. Pure Vanilla Cookie is good, really, like a buffed version of Custard Cookie III, but my main DPS is somehow Cotton Cookie and there's no way I'm winning stages like this, I also need a Cookie to position in the middle. I have to step up my game!

Eclair Cookie: *4 times promoted* *meta* *middle*

Me: Fine, I'm gonna max you or whatever.

Me:

Me: First I'm maxing Caramel Arrow Cookie, though.

...

Me: Oh, this new update makes it so we can save our layouts.

Me, seeing my kingdom's layout: *cries*

...

Me: So Affogato Cookie now appears in Bonds, huh...

Me: *screeching* Should I just read it?! It's gonna take forever before I reach the Dark Cacao Kingdom! But it'll feel weird without the main story context, right?! But I want more content other than my headcanons! Aaargh!!

...

Me, after pulling 30 times at Cherry Blossom Cookie's banner and not getting her: Why won't you come home?! Everybody else would've at this point! *avoids looking at Frost Queen Cookie and Dark Cacao Cookie*

...

Me: What would happen to my Cookies if I cover all the floor in water?

...

Me: Now that I finally got all Epic Cookies *avoids looking at Cherry Blossom Cookie*, only the Ancient (minus Pure Vanilla Cookie) and Legendary Cookies are left!

[marshmallow-rain]

“We chose the term “asexual” to describe ourselves because both “celibate” and “anti-sexual” have connotations we wished to avoid: the first implies that one has sacrificed sexuality for some higher good, the second that sexuality is degrading or somehow inherently bad. “Asexual”, as we use it, does not mean “without sex” but “relating sexually to no one”. This does not, of course, exclude masturbation but implies that if one has sexual feelings they do not require another person for their expression. Asexuality is, simply, self-contained sexuality.”

— The Asexual Manifesto, Lisa Orlando and Barbara Getz, 1972

[marshmallow-rain]

So today is the international asexuality day (I barely found out in my dashboard).

I'm feeling kind of lazy, but that's maybe because, since I already identify myself as asexual, every day is asexuality day.

Happy IAD, my fellow aces!

I'll be reblogging posts relevant to this orientation, I guess. I do feel lazy.

[marshmallow-rain]

Pffftttt-- T-the collar? The teeth? The selfie with the corpse? Literally everything else??

TWST at Your Funeral

This is not serious whatsoever. It's based on the TikTok trend.

Riddle

"I regret that our last words were me beheading you..." Riddle said. "Now that we have time together, I might as well remove that collar from your neck."

Trey

"You look so peaceful," Trey said looking into your casket sadly. "You would never guess that you were going gray from stress at the ripe old age of 16."

Trey touched your face, then moved his hand to your lips.

"Now to make sure you've been keeping up on the dental plan I told you about."

Cater

"Hey bestie!" Cater said casually. "You thought you could die without me??? Anyway, what kind of crap were you running? You've got the most terrifying student here acting like you widowed him, like give me some of that energy! Anyway, the lighting is impeccable here, so I hope you don't mind if I take a few selfies. I'll make sure to tag you."

"#goodlighting #tildeathdouspart #Y/n'sfuneral #RIPY/n"

Ace

"Hey," Ace said, sitting on the edge of your casket. "I can't believe your dead. even more I can't believe the overblots didn't kill you. It's like how the guy who survived a fall from Viagra Falls died when he slipped on an orange peel. I just can't believe you got crushed by a cauldron. Who would've done that?"

Deuce

"I'M SO SORRY!!!" Deuce whispered-yelled. "I didn't mean to kill you! I just wanted you to help me with my notes, and you seemed distracted so it was a kneejerk reaction! Please don't tell my mom... or Riddle."

Leona

"Tch, Herbivore," Leona said. "Can't believe you couldn't body a cauldron like I could. I'm so tired... Wait, is that Egyptian cotton? Did Kalim pay for this, because I know you couldn't. It's really comfy. You won't mind if I just hop in there with you right?"

Ruggie

"You're welcome for removing Leona from you," Ruggie said. "Also, are you going to need that watch? Because it would look great in my hand as I exchange it for cash. Well, since nobodies looking..."

Jack

"I can't believe Deuce killed you..." Jack said, gazing at your dead face. "And more importantly, I can't believe that no one has figured that out apart from me. Not only were you killed by a cauldron, but Deuce is not good at covering his tracks. I can practically smell the guilt on him."

Azul

"A lovely service Y/n," said Azul. "But, you have yet to complete your terms of our agreed upon contract, so unfortunately, I'm going to have to seize your casket."

He snapped his fingers and Jade and Floyd came out and dumped your out of the casket, before leaving your body sprawled out on the floor.

Jade

"Since you aren't using your body currently," Jade kneeled down to get closer to your now casket less corpse. "I'm wondering if you would like to reuse your body as a fertilizer for some nice poisonous mushrooms I've been trying to cultivate? It'd be a great way to recycle your body."

Floyd

"Nee~ Shrimpy~" Floyd said, downhearted. "Why didn't you let me kill you? I would've squeezed you so nice..."

Floyd squeezed your corpse, breaking most of your dead bones.

Kalim

"Ah!" Kalim exclaimed. "You don't have a coffin? JAMIL!!!"

Jamil sighed. "Yes?"

"Get a solid gold coffin for Y/n, we need to make sure they actually have a coffin."

Jamil went off to find a gold coffin.

"Now that I think about it, didn't they have a casket at the beginning of this service? Well, at least no one will steal the new coffin they're getting."

Azul is screaming, crying, and throwing up in the background since he missed his chance to scam you out of a solid gold coffin.

Jamil

Jamil glared down at you in your new solid gold coffin.

"God, I wish that were me," he muttered. "It's hard to see someone else living your dream."

Vil

"Oh honey..." Vil said. "They really did not want you to look nice did they?"

Vil snaps his fingers, and ever dutiful, Rook pops out of your casket with the make-up bag Vil gave you in hand.

"Yes, Roi de Poison?"

"Help me with their makeup," Vil said. "I'm looking forward to them actually staying still while I work. Thankfully, the cauldron didn't mess up their face."

Rook

"Ah, trickster," Rook started, taking out a piece of paper. The paper unfolded and unfolded itself all the way out the door.

"The beauty of your death is comparable to the death of Ophelia, even if we cannot see the back of your head because it has caved in. Your lifeless eyes bring a sense of grim gloom that someone like yourself is not present, your skin..."

He continued talking until he was dragged away.

Epel

"I can make you a nicer coffin if you want," Epel said. "If I do that for you, you will have to hide me the next time Vil tries to get me to wipe my ass, which manly men don't do. He won't go near an obviously rotting corpse, so I think it'd work out."

Idia

"Hey," a tablet came up to your casket. "I deleted your search history and deleted your fanfiction accounts, both the ones where you wrote fanfictions and the ones you used to read fanfiction. I almost had Ortho do it, but I'm glad I didn't. You read some messed up stuff. I would say have fun in heaven or wherever, but you are definitely going right to hell. I will see you there though, since you do have good taste."

Ortho

"Hello," Ortho said. "I wanted to thank you for making an event that Idia would feel obligated to go too. He ended up just sending his tablet, and he also sent me away for five hours yesterday, but neither are your fault I'm sure."

Malleus

Malleus shows up in full fae mourning wear. He ignores everyone else and heads straight to your coffin.

"Hello Child of Man," he said. "Worry not, I have been researching the forbidden art of necromancy to bring you back. I know you are going to die before me, but this was too soon. If you are concerned about being me talking about such an illegal act, you don't have to. For some reason everyone has moved far away from your coffin once I got here."

Lilia

"So, do you have any kids that are conveniently parentless?" Lilia asked. "I know you don't have any kids, but I say that to every corpse I come across so I figured I might as well say it to you! Silver said it wasn't a coincidence that the last meal that you had was my cooking but my food couldn't have made you unable to survive something you normally would've, no."

Silver

"Everyone's been missing you, even if they don't want to admit it," Silver said. "I've never seen Lord Malleus so sad, and Sebek-"

Silver's unconscious body fell into your coffin. Lilia had to drag him out and away so he wouldn't be buried alive with you.

Sebek

"I knew you were a weak human," Sebek said. "But I didn't think you were that weak. Had my young master been attacked with a cauldron, first I would protect him from it naturally, but if I wasn't able to I would jump off a bridge in shame. Regardless, the cauldron would only be able to graze his magnificent and regal horns before it was disintegrated by the mere might of his presence."

Crowley

"Hey," Crowley whispered. "I need you to clean the cafeteria later today. I won't force you to do it now, because I am so kind, but I do need that done today."

"Also, I have paid for half of your funeral, as I am so kind. What isn't kind is you leaving me to take care of the wonderful students that populate this school. Anyway, I'm going to turn the blind eye to Malleus resurrecting you because A, I like my head being attached to my neck, and B, I'm not dealing with the selfish brats you call friends alone."

Crewel

"Just letting you know," Crewel said, hitting your corpse with his riding crop. "You have an assignment due this Friday at 4pm, and I don't accept late work."

"Also your funeral outfit is trash."

Vargas

"You know..." he said leaning over your casket. "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't walk the last lap in the mile."

"You wouldn't have gotten hit by that cauldron if you just raw dogged eggs all day every day like me."

Trein

"The event of your death is awfully similar to the death of Magicman McFuck in the assigned reading," Said Trein, moving Lucius off of your chest. "This could've been avoided had you actually read the homework."

[marshmallow-rain]

I wish that ao3 had an option to filter warnings (and tbh certain authors) out like I will never ever want to read it and just seeing it puts me off so much that often I end up closing my browser because that content upsets me so much lmao

[marshmallow-rain]

Ramadan Mubarak everyone, let's get started

[marshmallow-rain]

"Mainstream Villain AU" with Vil Schoenheit [Part I]

Mainstream Villain AU

This saint-like nobody came and stole my fiancé, and yet I'm still the one in the wrong because everybody hates me? Let me at least kill him, as a treat. (yes, that's the title)

Warning: Mentions of murder (nothing detailed), mentions of a war, very minimal implications of sexual harassment, somewhat vague xenophobia, power abuse, sarcasm (don't mind if anyone asks me for clarification), people making bad, stupid choices and general dumbassery.

I imagine Vil being this "villainess" type of villain. You know, the kind you can find in 1700-1800 Europa-based manhwas. An privileged, mean brat whose hobbies are bullying the heroine who's lower class yet pure of heart. The main obstacle in a historical/period romance by being either in love with the male lead or his fiancée or both.

Of course, I'm not gonna genderbend this thing, which means Vil is now the villain in a BL novel written by a cishet woman. Basically same thing, but some holes got turned into sticks for the sake of being appealing to fujoshis.

Fun times.

Note: This is actually pretty long and will be separated in three parts (I hoped it'd be one, but nope, too long). The First Part is centered on what the novel is about, its canon main characters and its most important plot points. Worldbuilding, really. The next ones will be more about Vil himself, how he interacts with this novel and his influence in its plot.

Context

The novel would take place in the fictional Pyroxenian Empire (some mix of Germany, France and England), which take place in an equally fictional continent in an even more fictional world.

The year is unspecified and a mesh of the 17th and 18th centuries (with a bit of early 1900's mixed in), and all customs, holidays and rituals are fictional and mostly nothing like the real world's.

Magic is real, but mostly as a form of Deus Ex Machina and to replace things like science or tecnology (which might also exist, when the plot demands it). Apparently it's very uncommon, but it's almost like every important (and convenient) character has it.

There's also black magic, but you only need to know it is forbidden and a very typical approach to what people imagine as witchcraft and Voodoo™.

The main character's a citizen from a neighboring country (another discount European country, so similar to Pyroxene they're indistinguishable from each other) called Shaftlands, after his homeland was devastated by a war, he went out of his way to look for a job in Pyroxene so he could send money back to the orphanage he grew in. For the sake of plot, he ends up landing a job in the imperial palace where he meets the crowd prince.

The novel describes him as:

Kind-hearted.

Forgiving (even to people who hasn't earned it).

Hard-working.

Beautiful without forcing it or making it a big deal (so he is humble).

Naïve (but nothing bad actually happens to him since there's always someone to save him).

Maybe clumsy but in an endearing way.

The novel treats its main character like a blank slate so the readers can project on. There's nothing else you need to know other than he is Special™ because the universe decided so and has only survived so far because of the same reason.

Also he is Neige LeBlanche.

The love interest is the crowd prince and eventual emperor of Pyroxene. He's a military prodigy who at first is cold to Neige, but later is revealed that he fell for him at first sight.

The novel describes him as:

Handsome.

Filthy rich.

Tall (affectionate).

Dominating (more like bossy and won't take a no for an answer).

Possessive (in a Hot™ way).

Cold (emotionally constipated).

Stone-faced (has the facial expressiveness of a rock).

All his decisions are Smart™ and Reasonable™.

Never paid atention to anyone before Neige entered his life.

Smooth and a sex god despite him also being a 20-something virgin without any experience in human relationships whatsoever (it's okay, Neige teaches him about love and that somehow makes him qualified to be anyone's partner).

He has this tragic past where he was sent to a war (yet the novel doesn't treat it as a traumatic event that, it just to gives him Deep™ and nothing worse than one or two nightmares), single-handedly won it and as a teenager became the best commander/swordmaster in the history of Pyroxene (it doesn't explain what he did other than "he was great").

The war was with Shaftlands, but no hard feelings between him and Neige.

Of course, it was terrible to live there for Neige and all the people he loved, and his parents died because of that war when he was a very young kid, and he faced a lot of prejudice from Pyroxene's denizens for being from Shaftlands, but it's a-okay!

His name is, umn... "Ferdinand".

Oh, and:

Has a fiancé, but it's fine because he never cared about him anyway. His fiancé is Evil™, too, so of course he deserves it.

The villain is a duke's son and has been engaged to Ferdinand since his childhood and tries to tear the main couple apart from his first appearance to his ultimate defeat. That's all about it.

The novel describes him as:

Evil.

Envious.

Tall (derogatory).

Beautiful but proud of it (therefore an arrogant narcissit and evil).

Again, into cosmetics and clothing (therefore ^).

A fortune hunter.

No one likes him but his admirers (therefore an unlovable incubus and evil).

Does not like his fiancé spending time with the boy he's clearly in love with (therefore an irrationally jealous bitch and evil).

Further prove he's undeserving of love? He doesn't love Neige. Only evil people doesn't love Neige.

Vil Schoenheit, if you didn't know yet.

The entire plot relies on the conflict caused by Vil's schemes, from which both Neige and Ferdinand get out without repercussions because of True Love™ and plot armor.

Besides of Vil, there's also some other minor villains Ferdinand defeated:

A baron falling obsessively in love with Neige and kidnapping him in his mansion: Murdered.

The occasional male depredator: Murdered or stripped of his title, depending on his status.

The occasional, abusive female boss: Fired on the spot and stripped of all belongings.

Mostly female nobles discriminating Neige for being a Shaftlander: Midly humiliated.

Monster/wild animal attacking Neige: Slayed on the spot.

In short words, the novel is this seemingly endless cycle of someone being a threat to Neige, Ferdinand rescuing him and the two sharing a romantic moment.

When Vil is gone for good and Ferdinand becomes the emperor, it's revealed that one of Neige's parents was actually a member of Shaftlands' fallen monarchy (they were executed by Pyroxene after they lost the war) who eloped with Neige's other parent because one was a royal and the other a commoner. Then Neige and Ferdinand get married.

That's it, happy end.

The marriage ceremony is the end.

Surely, if you have any of these questions:

Will Prince Consort Neige help restore his land?

Are the orphan kids okay?

Will the orphanage be rebuilt?

Will they come to live to the imperial palace?

Will the nobles accept Neige?

Will Neige and Ferdinand be a happy, healthy couple?

All of that can be answered with: Whatever, they lived happily ever after!

There's also nothing about the House of Schoenheit, and Vil's name is never mentioned again as if he never existed, the closest thing would be:

Ferdinand is now free to choose his own fate.

It comes with this pointless plotline, after the climax and before Neige's royal lineage, where Neige wonders if Ferdinand's gonna leave him, as if the asshole wouldn't force him by his side either way, regardless of how awful would be for Neige as a low class Shaftlander to be placed right in the middle of Pyroxene's imperial court.

[marshmallow-rain]

happy trans day of visibility everyone, i can now legally be perceived for the next 24 hours

[marshmallow-rain]

Leelah Alcorn’s blog was deleted and posts about her are being removed. Don’t stop spreading this. Reblog everything you can, post everything you can. 

These are her pictures

here are some of her drawings

this is her note

Don’t let this die.

Not this.

[marshmallow-rain]

Tips for boys on their period

Don’t put a pad on boxers! It doesn’t work and makes a mess

To feel more masculine wear boxers over your //pad holding underwear//

Don’t beat yourself up, you are totally rad and cool, you’re body is doing something, but that’s okay, it’s not your fault and it doesn’t make you less valid!

If your cheast starts to hurt, don’t bind, some guys get tender breast tissue when it’s that time of the month, listen to your body, don’t push yourself!

Treat yourself to some chocolate!

Tea!!! It’s so good!!!! And green tea can help with cramps!

Advil! I use it when my cramps get bad, sometimes I get headaches and it helps with that too! Don’t take more than six though!

Go under warm blankets with nothing but your underwear on, preferably soft blankets, it makes me feel like I’m in a soft cacoon

Oversized sweatshirts! Always good! Especially for dysphoria!

Wear comfy cloths, always good to feel good

Eat warm soup, feels nice in the tum tum

Don’t eat super greasy foods, it can make your skin break you even more! And there are already so many hormones making your skin do crazy thing you don’t want it to get worse! Also it can make cramps worse

Most of all listen to your body, don’t push yourself, and try to forgive it, it’s confused and doesn’t know that it shouldn’t be doing what it’s doing

[marshmallow-rain]

[ID: Two images of two characters from My Hero Academia. On the left, Magne (Hikiishi Kenji), a trans woman. On the right, Tiger (Chatora Yawara), a trans man./End of ID]

happy International Transgender Day of Visibility to the queen and king