#[ relationships ]

[little-autistic-guy]

THISS!!

Though, for the record, this won't always heal the relationship if what you did was bad enough or the other person can't forgive you.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone you've hurt is give them space, even if that means you never see them again.

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@thoughtstherapy

[classycookiexo]

I agree, the other girl didn’t “take” shit from you and she did you a favor anyway…..she took out the trash

[mydarkawaits]

Do not hurt anyone, every soul has enough of suffering...

[tuttle-did-it]

🚨PARENTS. FAMILY MEMBERS. PLEASE READ THIS TWICE.

DON’T PUNISH YOUR KID COS THEY DON’T WANT TO HUG GRAMMA OR CUDDLE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW.

ENCOURAGE THEM TO SET BOUNDARIES, ESPECIALLY FOR PHYSICAL CONTACT.

DON’T BE UPSET AT THEM FOR SAYING ‘I don’t like it when you...’ 🚨

Make sure you don't accidentally punish people for communicating their needs and boundaries. When someone cares enough to have the uncomfortable conversation, that's a compliment and a clear sign that they are invested in the relationship. Yes of course it's uncomfortable to hear that something you've been doing has been upsetting someone you care about when that was never your intention, but people generally only bother to have these conversations with the people they want to keep around - the people they trust to care. If they just didn't like you, they'd probably just try to avoid you. So make sure you don't make it into a more punishing experience than it has to be. Try to see the care and the trust behind the criticism, even when it triggers uncomfortable emotions. It's a good sign that they're there telling you.

[hermajestyimher]

My aspirational approach to motherhood is to be the kind of woman no one would guess has kids, not just because I keep my life private, but because the lifestyle I lead doesn’t reflect the typical image of a mother. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with women who choose to make motherhood a central part of their identity or brand, but that’s not who I am, and it never will be. I want to give my children the best life possible, quietly and intentionally, while continuing to live my own life in the most fulfilling and meaningful way. They will never be a reason for me to shrink or put my passions on hold, but rather, they’ll be part of the reason I rise.

I also will never look down on women who choose to be childless because I don't see motherhood on its own as a status symbol, but as a relational commitment that makes you accountable to others. A woman isn't better or more valuable than another woman because she has or doesn't have kids. It's patriarchal conditioning and brainwashing for us to tie our worth to motherhood.

[faronmckenzie]

Choosing peace means collapsing the bridge between their chaos and your calm. Let the river keep what it claims. Not all connections deserve reconstruction.

[m00wd]

[sillylittlerebelsblog]

Here are three things I know to be true not from theory, not from textbooks, but from living.

When someone truly cares, you don’t have to tell them twice.

Some people write their love in paragraph-long texts and excited typos.

A friend once read an entire three-book series just because I said, “I LOVE THIS BOOK.”

Things I’m still thinking about-

a) They didn’t just read it. They made sure I was reading it through them.

b) Every time something beautiful happened in the story, I got a message( long ones, unfiltered ones, filled with exclamation marks and unedited feelings) . They wanted me to know how much it meant to them, because it meant something to me. c) I did ask them for updates, but frankly speaking, I didn’t really believe they’d remember to do it because it felt so trivial but they remembered and followed through. Not out of obligation but out of love, the kind that comes from the bottom of your heart.

I’ve read a lot of books. I’ve loved a lot of people. Those messages, those check-ins, that commitment to something just because I held it close? That was something else. Something Divine.

Why don’t we talk more about this kind of love?

Why don’t we scream about the ones who stay?

Why do I only see poetry about abandoned best friends and past lives?

Not that I don’t love it but I really think we should talk about this, too.

Why does the world romanticize distance and silence but never the friend who shows up in your inbox every time a plot twist hits?

Does this sit right with you?

Because it cracks my chest open in the gentlest way. It chooses me in a hundred invisible ways I almost missed. Are you even listening?

Or did you think love only lives in flowers and confessions?

[marsafaerie]

? / !

— Captain Flint (via letsbeloneytogetherr)

[memecryptid69]

[classycookiexo]

[mydarkawaits]

When you don't find anyone who understands you, know that your way of thinking is unique, but at the same time it makes you a stranger in your own home.

[cynicalclassicist]

I need to keep this in mind.

i don’t know exactly how to say this in a way that comes across clearly, but i am obsessed with the idea of depicting m/f relationships in a way where the hype isn’t all on the man’s love of the woman, and how swoonworthy it is and how powerful. (this has been on my mind an awful lot lately because lost loves to lean on this, especially in season six. it’s also something that often grates on me about the office’s depiction of jim and pam even though i’m very fond of jim and pam.) i really want to see women being active in the relationship too, rather than just being the object to be pursued or worshiped or cherished or whatever the heck! not in a way that depicts women going out of their way for men who don’t reciprocate, which i think is always the go-to assumption when you talk about this kind of portrayal of a relationship. but i love the idea of women being able to make romantic gestures and acts of great love toward their male love interests in a way that is, like, considered cool and iconic in the way that so many male characters’ romantic actions toward their ladies are cool and iconic. idk how to say it. like, something that goes beyond ‘is this woman being honored nobly enough by her man, which is the sum total of all romance?’ i want the women participating tooooooooo! WHY NOT!

[strxn-2]

Burner Phone - m.s

Summary - the burner phone,

TW: cheating (dont do this) crying , angst , unresolved angst , physical abuse. nicknames (baby, lace)

It started like always  

“No Caller ID” was plastered on my phone, i knew exactly who it was – her. 

My breathe caught in my throat as if this hasn’t happened hundreds of times already, like she hasn’t called me off her burner phone when she’s home alone hundreds of times already, i never questioned why it was a burner phone and never her number , i just suspected she didn’t want her fans finding out , the bad side of fame is that it brings out the weirdos , and i liked how it was just us, right? 

One day i get the call, i  answer as usual, i could hear a man shouting in the background, i ask her 

“lace, what's going on?” i say concerned, why was there a man shouting in the background at her? 

“c-can i come over...?” she says, her voice shaky and fragile 

I don't think I'd ever heard her so scared 

“of course, do you want me to pick you up?” i reply quickly, i needed to get to her as soon as possible 

“n-no its fine, I'll walk over” she says before hanging up. 

I’m left there in a stunned silence not knowing what to do before snapping out of it, preparing some food and a bath for her so when she came, she was relaxed and comfortable. 

She gets here 10 minutes later, climbing through my bedroom window – she had a black eye and a missing tooth – i look at her in shock before pulling her into a tight hug whispering soothing words to her before she told me what happened. 

“h-he hit me” she says her voice shaky 

“Who baby, who hit you” i say running a hand through her hair soothingly 

“My-my boyfriend” she says sniffling “i-im sorry i didn’t tell you before” 

I momentarily freeze, so she was cheating, with me? God, it’s killing me how dishonest she was, i speak up then 

“Shh it’s okay don’t apologise baby” 

She cried into my arms until half past two before she fell asleep- i fell asleep cuddling her 

The next morning i wake up and she's gone – no note, no text, no nothing just gone... I sigh to myself. 

She didn’t call or text me for the next week – i didn’t eat once during that time, i just couldn’t, i would kill her fucking man in a  heartbeat if he did anything to her... 

2 weeks later she was at my door again, i look at her as she looks up at me, she doesn't keep eye contact instead just looking away, i sigh, my built-up frustration threatening to spill, she didn’t say anything so i did: 

“I wanna cry for you, I wanna hold you like a kid hugs a tree”  

She stays silent, so i continue 

“Tell me, is this what you wanted?”  

She doesn’t answer so i repeat myself 

“Is this what you wanted? cause it isn't what I wanted”  

And with that i slammed the door on her and let out a deep sigh. 

A/N - a liitle short but oh well - italics text is lyrics from the song btw

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[dailyanarchistposts]

Implications of Action

Sometimes we want to kiss our friends. Kissing your friends culturally implies a variety of things: the kisser is a slut, there’s “something” between two people kissing, it’s “more than friends”. Imagine a heterosexual relationship wherein one partner “kisses their friends”, social media commenters would leap across the room to post a comment about inevitable cheating. Essentially buried in this idea is that physical expressions of love, intimacy or care are hard coded to be read as romantic and or sexual expressions. Attached to this is a broader cultural assumption about a variety of behaviors being necessarily attached to various labels applied to relationships: spouses have sex, friends don’t. We lack a deep language or cultural acceptance of expressing affection within a relationship that isn’t sexual or romantic, for talking about a variety of relationships that don’t fit neatly in a cardboard box. Physical affection is forced to be read as romantic-sexual and friendship demands a kind of space not expected of romantic sexual relationships. Yet this dynamic is oppressive both to romantic relationships that don’t desire physical expression and for friendships that find value in physical expression.

If physical affection is culturally allowed it’s between women and viewed by the patriarchy as not threatening to masculine hegemony (the same tired discounting of sapphic love). Conversely, physical affection between men carries stigma as implying homosexuality, weakness, being a sissy. These are constructs from a heterosexist patriarchy that serve to oppress our ability to express genuine feeling towards one another, either by discounting the affection itself or stoking fears behind the expression at all. Even outside the lens of the current cultural hegemony, the hard coding of physical affection as romantic-sexual stifles human expression into rigid categories. If we want the full expression of human connection, we must transcend the borders around physical expression or the lack thereof. Both in that the absence of physical touch implies romantic estrangement and that it’s presence implies romantic sexual relations.

It’s going to be awkward at first, we are products of our culture, the cop in our head is frothing at the mouth ready to interpret any touch as an expression of “fuck me” or “love me”. But what is implied in a touch and what is said in a kiss? Connect these physical expressions to the emotive motivation behind them. Touching, kissing, expresses strong feelings of connection, like, love, camaraderie, not solely sexual desire. These expressions of emotional feeling are taken in our current cultural context to imply both more and less than they ought to. American culture currently doesn’t allow physical expressions to exist independently, we inherently tie it to notions of commitment, larger labels that imply a host of behaviors and feelings. In doing so we rob ourselves of a variety of expressions towards our individually unique relationships.

By transcending expectations that physical affection or a lack thereof implies or negates a greater relationship dynamic we free ourselves to express our emotions more genuinely and uniquely to each particular relationship. We can have relationships that express physical intimacy without having to force them into awkward boxes. We can have relationships without physical intimacy that don’t negate the romantic feeling. If we want to have dynamic, unique and complex relationships that don’t force an artificial compromise to fit a predefined relationship, we must dissociate physical touch broadly from romantic and sexual dynamics. Let physical touch be understood in the specific and not as a road marker for other facets of a relationship.