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emsgwenstan · 10 months

Text

Personal or professional?

Chap 1 | chap 2 | chap 3

Larissa Weems x fem(carpenter/joiner) named reader.

Words: 2k

Warnings: bodily issues, swearing.

Note: imma b honest I’m filling In for the parts I want to write. I’m not there yet. Just know there will be a few things coming within the next few chapters! Xx

———

Just as I was thinking about how ridiculously bold it was for me to put my number on that cup, I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket once I returned home.

‘Meet me at the weathervane in your lunch break tomorrow?~Larissa’

My eyes went wide as I re-read the message over and over until I realise that she can see if I’ve viewed it, I quickly replied.

‘Sure, 12:30? Are you sure you have time?’

Immediately it was seen and I waited in anticipation once the three little dots popped up.

‘That’s fine, even if I don’t I will always make time darling.”

I didn’t know exactly what to reply, so I just turned off my phone and threw it on my bed, I could feel my face flushing at the thought of her. I stripped off and got ready for a shower, the chill of the room raising goosebumps along my skin, the tile floor of the bathroom freezing the soles of my feet, stepping in, I let out a hum at the hot water encapsulating my body finally letting myself relax against the wall, ridding myself of the day, not that it was so bad.

Once out, dried off and dressed, I jump into bed not bothering with dinner, being far to exhausted to cook or order anything, I snuggle into my thick duvet and flick on the tv to half watch and listen to another true crime story. It isn’t always ideal to watch this stuff when I live alone, especially as a woman, but there’s something oddly calming about it, even if I get slightly paranoid. After a while I fell asleep at around 8:00pm, but woke at around 12 to turn the tv off.

———

The next morning I woke up earlier than usual to perfect my simple make up, applying a layer of foundation and mascara, the smallest bit of matte pink lipstick and to be sure to have every hair on my head in place held in a slicked back ponytail. ‘I just hope this will last for at least 8 hours, the next 4 don’t matter.’ I thought.

Throwing on my black jeans and fluoro pink work shirt, as well as a baggy pink and black work wear jacket, I glance at myself in the floor length mirror, every time I do I see nothing I like, nothing pretty, nothing special, I feel like I must be such a curiosity to other people, my job, my height, my weight, my strange mix of masculinity and femininity, I know I’m not skinny or thin but I’m not that big either, anymore at least. The stretch marks on my stomach, thighs and breasts are the things I try so hard to cover up. I can’t help but wonder why anyone would want to be with or associate around someone like me, even if I personally don’t discriminate against what people look like. That also brings me to ponder why Larissa asked to have lunch with me today.

I think my collar bone length, warm blond hair is probably the only thing I change often or really take care of, I try to do my nails and keep them clean and presentable, always painted in a nude pink, which is ironic considering i don’t actually like the colour. I change the studs in all of my piercings, rotating the gold from small hoops to diamonds. My hands are scared and calloused from 22 years of working with rough materials as well as my legs and forearms, I guess I’ve no need to be jealous or overthink about others body’s or physique’s I’m a grown woman after all, but the insecurity is always at the forefront of my mind.

After traipsing out of the house, I finally made it into work at 5am, turning on all the lights and compressors and the radio I listen to until 9, it goes off once my boss turns up. “No music in the factory Violet.” He’d say, which is bullshit, it’s so fucking boring without it. Walking into the shop’s kitchenette, I flick on the kettle to make my morning tea in a travel cup and tap my fingers on the bench in waiting. It’s already freezing today, the cold seeping through my layers of clothing and apparently the concrete walls, yesterday was warm enough to wear shorts and go without a jumper.

Consulting with my boss about the order needing to be placed for the cupboards going to nevermore was nauseating, It took a lot longer than usual because of all the questions he asked about yesterday afternoon. “So how was going to the school for strange kids yesterday?” He asked sarcastically, not looking up from his computer. “Their not strange, their just different to you. And it was fine, obviously got all the information we need.” I said annoyed. “Right.” After a long pause he spoke again. “Miss Weems seemed to enjoy your presence, she didn’t shut up about the stuff you showed her.” I was perplexed and rolled my eyes. “Well at least someone appreciates it.” I said under my breath looking down at my thighs picking bits of lint and sawdust off the material. He was quiet after that.

12:15 rolled around, I grabbed the keys to my personal car and popped back into his office to tell him I’m going on break, it was so nice on the short walk in the sun. I jumped in my black Mercedes sports car and made my way down the street, turning a few corners I parked outside the wethervane and locked the car before entering the cafe. Larissa wasn’t there yet, so I took a seat in a booth next to the large window with my back turned to the door.

Staring out the glass and watching the towns people walk about, some in tandem with each other holding hands, some parents with young children or strollers, a few elderly people walking in groups giving the impression of being friends for years going for a walk with their wife’s arms wrapped around there husbands. One in particular caught my attention, a young man who looks to be in his early 20s exiting the florist bearing a bunch of white roses, his demeanour riddled with nerves, he sat at a park bench close to the other side of the road, pulling out a little black box, he observed it for a moment before snapping it shut, than stood smoothing down his hair and blazer before walking away. A small smile crept on my face hoping all goes well for his next obvious destination, but it quickly faded in a realisation, which I wish to forget.

A hand on my shoulder ripped me out of my mind, turning my head around I see her. Larissa. A huge grin took over my face clearly out doing her small smile. “Afternoon violet.” She greeted. “Hi.” I responded sounding so high pitched I internally cringe at myself. Larissa placed her purse on the surprisingly unsticky table and takes a seat in front of me. “How are you darling.” She asked removing a black leather glove. “I’m alright, not particularly busy today which is pretty good but that just means the day will drag a lot longer, better now I’m here with you though.” I said, staring at her beautifully red painted nails. “Oh that’s horrible, you must get lonely in there by yourself no?” She stated. “It’s nice, but sometimes I wish I had someone to talk to. Don’t you get lonely? Being in your office?” I asked wondering why she’d worry about me when I’m sure she’s in the same position. “Not at all, I have teachers, students, parents, groundskeepers and just about every other kind of person in and out all day, sometimes it gets so frustrating I put a ‘do not disturb’ sign on my door just for at least five minutes of peace.” She exhaled slightly rolling her eyes at the thought, I nodded in understanding, chuckling softly at her annoyance.

Idle conversations flowed between the two of us before we were politely interrupted by a waiter handing over two menus. “What are you having.” I asked her. “A chicken Cesar salad. You?- Oh and I’m paying by the way… you bought me things yesterday.” She stated. “There’s no need really.” I answered. “I insist what would you like.” She pushed. “Probably just a grilled cheese.” I said. “No. Don’t think I don’t know that’s the cheapest thing here, get what you want sweetheart.” My pulse skipped then ran faster at her new term of endearment, I felt like I was melting from the inside out. “Fine I’ll just have the same as you please.” I settled, displaying a shy smile. I didn’t care about the food really, I don’t plan on letting her see me as a naive and difficult thing who can’t pay for myself or play her as a fool, I guess that’s just what happens when you’re completely independent for a long period of time. “Are you sure? you can have anything.” She asked again. “Positive, thank you.” Larissa waved over the previous waiter and ordered for the both of us, we ate once our meals arrived and sat in comfortable silence.

Larissa did in fact pay, she left no room for argument and we both walked out together into the fresh, crisp air and warm sun. “Do you need to go back just yet?” She asked. “No I think having a break over half an hour would be fine considering how much overtime I do that I don’t get payed for.” I chuckled trying to come off lighthearted, but it sounded more bitter than I intended. “What do you mean? What are your allocated hours?” Larissa stoped the slow pace causing me to walk a little in front and turn around to face her concerns. “Allocated… 7:30 to 5, but I usually get to work around 5 and finish at 7.” I said furrowing my brows. “Why?” I ask. Larissa was silent for a moment. “So your telling me you work 12 to 13 hours every day? When your only supposed to be doing 9 and a half?” She asked incredulously. “Yes.” I said almost immediately realising that wouldn’t seem right or normal to anyone else who doesn’t know what it’s like to do my job. I laughed at her, not in a rude way but at her worry. “How do you do that!? You work almost 70 hours a week!” Her eyes growing widder with the facts she’s coming to know. “I’m fine. I manage.” I simply said turning to walk a bit more for her to follow, at this point there is no destination.

“You look gorgeous today, channel right?” I asked, pulling my hand out of my pocket to point at her outfit, a ploy for a change of subject. “Yes, thank you. How did you know that?” She asked. “Just like I know your heels are louboutins, your watch is Valentino, your bracelet it Cartier and your broach is probably the hardest to guess I’m not quite sure about that one, but I know your necklace is personally made. Oh and your pearl earrings are vintage Tiffany & co.” I stated proudly hoping I wasn’t wrong. “You continue to surprise me Violet. First your this strong independent woman who can build an entire house and the interior with you bare hands and now your a fashion expert, what else don’t I know?” She said with an amuse smile. “There is a lot you don’t know about me Larissa, but what ls the fun in letting you in on all my secrets just yet? Who knows, I could be very boring.” I giggled. She shook her head gently and placed her gloved hand on my arm. “You are the most interesting person I’ve been around for quite some time darling, I don’t believe you could ever be a bore.” At that i blushed furiously letting out a foggy exhale.

Larissa was the epitome of ethereal, the way her eyes look so piercing in the sunlight almost as if they were so blue they could be mistaken for white, her porcelain skin illuminated as well as her platinum hair. Right now her nose and cheeks are flushed red and her lips displaying the same shade she had painted on herself, I hoped anyway, their a little swollen due to the cold. “Hey, can I ask you a random question?” I asked timidly hoping it’s not to weird. “Of course you can.” She said. “Do you…ahhh, do you have…someone, like-.” I struggled to spit it out. “A girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, partner?… no sweetheart.” She continued on, laughing at my shy state. “Right… that what I was trying to say, and how is that, wouldn’t you have plenty of people lined up for you? surely.” I exaggerated. “So your a flatterer to I see.” She gasped feigning herself from being to serious.

About two seconds later Larissa looked away and her attention was taken by the front of the Jericho book shop and Library, she moved so quickly to snatch my wrist and drag me in the direction of the entrance. “Woah, you could have just asked me to come with you.” I just about snorted. “I’m sorry come on I haven’t been in her for ages, please!” The sparkle in her eyes showing unwavering hope. “Of course I’ll come I love books to ya know.” I grinned. “Well that’s another thing I just learned about you.” She said holding the door open for me.

It was so warm and cozy inside, the smell of a vanilla candle that was placed next to the register and the scent of paper was almost nostalgic, I hadn’t been in here for a while either. Larissa ended up in-front of me and I don’t think she realised she held out her hand behind her for me to take. After mild contemplation I took it, Larissa immediately tightened her grip, pulling me along with her to a section she clearly has been down before. She let go of my hand a crouched to the wooden floor removing her gloves again so she could feel the spines of the books.

Larissa was in her element, completely enraptured in her own world. I let her be and scanned the shelves above her, taking an interest to one that was a royal blue colour with gold embossed lettering, I placed my palm on her shoulder to stabilise myself and stood on my tip toes to reach it, admiring for a moment before I could read the blurb, Larissa gasped in excitement. “Yes, I found it!” She exclaimed. “What is it?” I asked. “I hid this book almost a year ago because I didn’t want to buy it at the time.” She said looking up at me. ‘she’s so bloody adorable.’

I helped her off the floor and we moved back to the register. “So what do you have?” She asked. “Um I think it’s a book of poetry, I flicked through it and read one, I like it.” I said. “You should read me one.” She smiled. Before I could respond a little lady with grey hair and a long green cardigan came walking behind the counter from what I assumed was the ‘back’. “Oh Larissa! How are you dear!?” She said surprised. “Francis! I’m well how are you?” She responded, it would be silly to think they weren’t aquatinted. “I’m doing ok, finally got that hip replacement back in may, working like I’m a teenager again.” She said. I quietly chuckled. “That’s wonderful.” Larissa replied placing her book on the counter. “And who’s this lovely lady with you?” She asked. “Oh forgive me, violet this is Francis, fran, this is violet, she’s making the new classroom cupboards for nevermore.” Larissa was almost proud to be able to introduce you to someone. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I said holding out my hand for her to shake, instead she took ahold of my palm with one hand and placed her other on top. “Like wise dear. Your a hard worker I see.” She stated observing my hand. “Thank you?” I said unsure of how to respond.

Larissa stood to the side waiting for me to pay for my own book. “Oh this one’s good, perhaps you can read some to your girlfriend over there.” Francis said talking about the book and Larissa. My eyes were just about bulging out of my head at her words, I was rendered speechless. “Hush now Fran! I see your still cheeky as ever.” Larissa hissed. The elderly lady chortled at her with a shit eating grin. “Don’t you forget it. When you get old you tend not to hold your tongue.” She initially spoke to larissa than back to me. All I could do was stand there awkwardly, but praise her for not giving a fuck, I like her.

We exited the shop bidding the woman farewell and set off to back to our cars. “Sorry about that, I’ve known Francis since I was 14, she can be very brazen sometimes.” She said. “Don’t worry about it shes cute and hilarious… so you went to nevermore when you were at school?” I asked. “Yes, every weekend I’d go to the library part of the shop and sit for hours, than we’d exchange opinions on the books I’d read over a cup of tea.” She expressed clutching the book tighter to her chest. “That’s so sweet, I wish my childhood was that simple, I would have loved to have the freedom to Sit and read until I was to exhausted.” I said. “Well it wasn’t all that easy but I didn’t have to many friends to mingle with I suppose.” I felt a tinge of sadness at her confession, understanding what she means. “Nor did I, but I guess that’s why it’s so important to you now as headmistress right? To ensure all the kids are happy and safe?” I wondered. “Exactly.” She said pulling out her car keys while I simultaneously did the same. We both hit the unlock button to find we were parked right next to each other.

To our surprise we both had the same car, except hers was red. “Nice car.” I said. “Like wise.” She laughed. “Well I suppose this is goodbye.” Larissa said looking at me slightly saddened at the fact. “I suppose it is.” I retorted. Larissa stood peering into my eyes, her expression turned confused. “What?” I asked. “Your eyes…they’ve changed colour, I thought that yesterday, but now I’m sure.” She said hoping she didn’t sound to insane. “Yeah they do that, I don’t really know why, they go from blue, green, grey to blue grey to green blue, it’s weird but I find that when I’m tired my eyes are really blue and when I’m happy or focused they’re really green, almost like a mood ring.” I laughed. Larissa own eyes flickered between my own causing me to become short of breath. “It’s very interesting, very unique.” She said. “What are they now?” I whispered, Larissa seemed to be closer than I thought. “Green on the outside with a little bit of blue in the centre.” She matched my tone of voice. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath and tilted my head down before exhaling and returning the gaze.

“So when will I see you again? Apart from the obvious work reasons.” I asked. “Would Friday night be ok, I could take you out for dinner?… if your not interested then that’s ok we could-.” Yes yes yes yes yes. “No! I’d love to just text me with plans yeah?” I wished I didn’t seem to overzealous. “Really? Alright than I will see you Friday.” She said. “Of course I’ll see you than.” And only than I did something I wish I could take back, something so stupid, so unprofessional. I leaned in a little closer and kissed her cheek, not like it was hard or strained, not even a millisecond went by for me to not look at her after, I all but ran to my car and shoved the keys into the ignition and turned it on ripping the gear stick into reverse to get the hell out of there. I did spare her a glance and and idiotic wave before practically speeding away.

Larissa stood there on the footpath shocked, blushing like one of her students, she returned the wave and set to get in her own vehicle. Sitting in the drivers seat hands clamped to the steering wheel, she let out a chesty giggle and a smile reaching her eyes. It was Larissa’s turn to feel like a giddy little girl. On her way back go nevermore I was the only thing on Larissa’s mind, by the time she arrived through the gates it was just after 2 pm, she would spend the rest of the day in a haze hardly concentrating.

Later that night she dragged a chair in front of her fireplace with a blanket adorned over her lap with her new book in hand and a glass of wine placed on the floor next to her, a relaxing evening to go along with an eventful afternoon. I was much the same, unlike the previous night I had enough energy to make something for dinner while standing in the kitchen with my own book, reading passages from it whilst stirring the food on the stove.

the eyes

are portals to

different worlds

this is why

we shut them in

beautiful moments.

Let’s just say both of our dreams that night were of each other and the next morning consisted of thoughts for Fridays dinner.

———

Just wait for the dinner;)

@lex13cm @im-a-carnivorous-plant @barbarasstar @giogwensversion @sabraaabra

#larissa weems #gwendoline christie #principle weems #wednesday #larissa weems x y/n #larissa x reader #gwenchrist(ie)#wlw fanfic #larissa weems x reader

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nerdieforpedro · 8 months

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Get to Know Me Tag Game

I was tagged so I'm doing it. I'm malleable that way, you know?

Thank you @bitchwitch1981 for the tag 😎

1. Were you named after anyone?

I was named after a voodoo priestess from the movie "Angel Heart." The character Lisa Bonet played. My mom is a special lady. 🤣

2. When was the last time you cried?

Sometime in the last week of 2023 when I wrote that post about my mental health journey. It was...good to write out, but a lot.

3. Do you have kids?

I have none of the tiny humans.

4. What sports do you play/ have you played?

I was allergic to them, they made me itch. I read and played video games instead like the recluse I am.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

I may, at times. Usually people don't take me seriously when I'm being direct, and they think I'm being sarcastic.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Eyes, nose and stance. Tells me if I need to keep myself between them and the exit. 👀

7. What's your eye colour?

Light brown, similar to honey. 🍯

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings. It's sappy, but I like them. I will mock both horror and happy ending equally.

9. Any talents?

I can have my fingers inside you, while asking you follow-up questions, also a knack for calming sick elderly people and finding that tricky spot where the catheter goes. 🤣🤣 (I described my job in the worst way possible)

I can sing a little. I'm funny. I teach fairly well.

10. Where were you born?

United States - Maryland

11. What are your hobbies?

Listening & singing to music, writing and reading fics, day dreaming about Pedro Pascal & Oscar Isaac, watching TV, going to the movies, burning candles, reading manga, playing video games, painting my nails.

12. Do you have any pets?

The state of my houseplants have indicated to me that no matter how much I wish it, that alone will not sustain life for a dog or a cat. 😞

13. How tall are you?

5 foot 3 inches (I'm short and round, like a rolo or peppermint patty.)

14. Favourite subject in high school?

Science (Anatomy and Physiology)

15. Dream job?

Professional fanfic writer who gets paid in the number of WIPs I have. (So I would be making millions by never finishing any work.)

NP tags: @maggiemayhemnj @for-a-longlongtime @legendary-pink-dot @megamindsecretlair @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @goodwithcheese @secretelephanttattoo @avastrasposts @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @rhoorl @laurfilijames @alltheglitterandtheroar @avastrasposts @atinylittlepain @beefrobeefcal

#Get to know Nerdie #She's a strange one #Maybe has a strange way of life?#that's the best humor we'r getting out of her #she describes things improperly #no pet would be safe except maybe a rock

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absolutebl · 1 year

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Random ask game asks

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

What's one thing that's stereotypical about you?

I have the remnants of a british accent + I drink tea.

Play any instruments?

Piano, badly

A music artist everyone criticizes that you like:

Last show you watched:

Last movie you watched

Senior Love Me?

Last song you listened to

The Arc - The Light

Last book you read

Old Fashion Cupcake manga

Your top five most listened to artists this month on Spotify

Stray Kids

BTOB

Young K & Day 6

Kang Daniel

TRENDZ

Ever drank alcohol?

Every Friday and it’s Be My Favorite’s Fault

Every smoked anything?

Fish, mostly

Do you prefer to eat-in or take-out?

Both

If you could time travel what decade would you go to first

Am I invisible or do I look the way I do now? If #1 then the past, if #2 then the future.

An actor everyone loves that you don't like for whatever reason

Speak any other languages?

4 none of them well, including my ostensible original

Have any tattoos? Want any tattoos?

Have any piercings? Want any piercings?

yes

Do you prefer the hot or cold weather?

cold

Cats or dogs? Or some other pet?

none but those owned by others tend to adopt me (the house has a cat and he think’s i’m his)

Trendy over comfortable or comfortable over trendy?

trendy and comfortable, why choose?

Say one thing bad about something you love

the singing is terrible and the acting is usually pretty crap too

Do you prefer to read digitally or from a physical book?

digital

Do you put milk in your hot tea?

yes

Do you know how to play any popular gambling games?

A character you relate to for whatever reason?

A quote (from anything) you really love

How many pairs of shoes do you have

maybe 10?

Do you have trouble saying any words because of your accent/speech problems?

no, i’m good at words and public speaking

Earbuds or headphones?

buds

Showers or baths?

Early bird or night owl?

insomniac

Candles or scented spray?

fresh flowers

How often do you change your clothes?

as often as is necessary

Chess or checkers?

all board games bore me

Something you can do that you think is cool?

Perfume or body spray?

body oil

What's something that genuinely scares you

other people’s unhinged obsession

LED lights, the room light, or sunlight?

diffuse natural light

What's something you do differently than everyone else?

peel and chop fruit

If you have hair how often do you style it in some way?

spiky if i bother at all

Nail polish, press on nails, or acrylic nails?

short and tidy but nothing else

Do you have any fidget toys? If so what's your favorite?

I learned to sit still or get whacked, and i’m fine with the outcome

Do you drive?

yes

Your go-to genre of music?

Are you a good multitasker?

no one is a good multitasker

Silence or background noise?

kpop

A famous movie/show that you've never seen

i don’t know i haven’t seen it

Any sport you would like to play?

i don’t like sweating with other people around...

actually, i don’t like sweating at all

Can you write in cursive?

yes & calligraphy

Is your handwriting neat or at least easy to read?

yes very

Colored pencils, markers, or crayons?

black

How many pillows do you sleep with?

How many blankets do you sleep with?

3 (if the top sheet counts, ALWAYS top sheet)

Do you ever plan to get married one day?

fuck no

Do you ever plan to have kid(s) one day?

fuck no

Do you subscribe to any religion?

fuck no

Something in your room that you think is funny for whatever reason

the hotel room i am in right now has a teacup the size of my head painted with parrots and I have no idea why.

Would you rather be an actor, singer, comedian, or would you do something on YouTube/twitch/some other site

i would rather gouge out my own eyeball than be a celebrity of any kind

Are you scared of the dentist?

not at all, my dental hygiene is fucking amazing, they often get mad at me for wasting their time

(before you ask: good genetics + fucking flossing = the answer, just floss while watching your favorite bl, it’s not goodamn rocket science, take care of your teeth you slackwits)

Do you wear makeup?

sometimes

If you could be any character of the opposite sex, who would you be?

i already am

In the literal sense, are you an introvert or extrovert?

both

What's something in your room that makes no sense without context

aside from that dumb teacup, i don’t know, i’m not in my room, i’m rarely in my room

Favorite subject in school?

If you could visit any place in the world where would you go?

right now, i wanna get to taiwan before it isn’t anymore

A show/movie thats been on your watchlist forever but you for some reason keep putting off

Is the name you use online your real name? (Real name does not mean deadname)

never

Do you have a favorite sibling?

If you were to have a kid what names would you have in mind?

no fucking children, not mine, not anyone else’s, i am not interested, yours is NOT the cutest nor the smartest (trust me) and i don’t want to hear about them

Do you think things like anniversaries are a big deal?

Mobile games or PC/console games?

no games

Do you believe in things like ghosts?

Long sleeve + shorts or short sleeve + pants

depends on the weather and culture

Can you do any voice impressions?

What was the first fandom you were genuinely into

star trek

Do you prefer womens or mens products?

depends on the smell, price, and effectiveness

would you be fine having your partner completely provide for you?

never

Plain clothes or vibrant and eye catching clothes?

neither, i’m usually just stylish and quirky

Movie date or restaurant date?

food

Do you split the check or expect only one of you to be paying it?

split or I’ll pay if my friend isn’t holding

Favorite fast food place?

i’d rather not

How do you make your coffee?

in italy

Do you pay attention to the music or the lyrics more?

music

Are you more energetic or tame?

energetic

Are you witty?

only by accident

A show everyone criticizes that you like

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little-box-of-wonders · 10 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @grexigone! n.n

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

33 as of Nov. 15, 2023

2. What's your total A03 word count?

135,824 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only Horizon (Zero Dawn/Forbidden West) for now.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

To Know Peace: 103 kudos (Rated T) - First longfic

Live for the Night: 88 kudos (Rated E) - First smut fic

Bonding Moments: 83 kudos (Rated G) - Companion vignettes fic for To Know Peace

Devotion: 79 kudos (Rated E) - Kinktober 2023 drabbles collection

Visual Delights: 77 kudos (Rated E) - Fun, smutty 5+1 oneshot

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Comments mean that someone took the time to read my fic and something stuck with them enough to tell me about it. It makes me feel appreciated, and I want my readers to feel appreciated in turn. :3

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oof, probably Shadowed Heart, which is my first rare pair fic (Fashav/Ritakka). I promise to give them a happier ending in my series.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'd say To Know Peace has the happiest ending so far.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I got a couple of comments on Bonding Moments about some choices I'd made that rubbed me the wrong way, but I haven't gotten hate publicly or privately. I think it helps that Horizon is still relatively small in the fanfic/fanart space and I don't share my ship-specific fics on the subreddit for the games.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do and I have no shame, hehe. It's mostly M/F and very light on kinks. Other than my Kinktober drabbles, the raunchiest fic I've written is Early Exit.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No crossovers. They're kinda tricky to get right.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

To my knowledge, no, but I haven't checked FF.net or Wattpad to confirm.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. Spanish is my native language, but I have no plans to translate my fics from English to Spanish.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

@jadefyre and I have a smut fic in the works that we started earlier this year. Also, not co-written but @murmart made a beautiful art of Fashav/Ritakka for my fic Heavy in Your Arms. :3

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Definitely Aloy/Kotallo. Not only did seeing their dynamic and conjuring up ship possibilities get me to write again after a long hiatus, but it's also allowed me to become part of a community of amazing creators both in the Kotaloy Elysium Discord server and beyond. n.n

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't necessarily think I'll leave any of my WIPs unfinished, but some are a little more complicated than others in terms of getting them to meet my own standards (yeah, I'm my harshest critic).

With longfics, I've since learned to write until completion and then start posting, only because I don't enjoy the self-imposed pressure to update something that's already out there since life can be really uncertain at times.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue! It takes me such a long time, but I love nailing the voices of the characters correctly and having readers comment on that and their characterization. However, I do find speeches a bit cumbersome to write because every word has so much weight to them, even though I do enjoy the end result.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with describing environments/settings, because I never know if I'm being descriptive enough to paint a full picture for the reader.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think if it's a few sentences here and there is fine, but anything else might make it inaccessible to part of the readership unless it's stated in the author's note that the fic will feature two or more different languages.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Horizon, though I wrote a (thankfully never published) fic for Final Fantasy VII when I was around 13 years-old; trust me, it wasn't good and I still cringe thinking about the plot. HOWEVER, I miss that feeling of writing without caring about the end result, of just having a deluge of words on paper with a somewhat coherent narrative thread.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

It's hard to pick only one because all of my fics are special in their own way, but I'll go with Hurricane Drunk because I had so much fun describing Kotallo being drunk and struggling with confessing his feelings for Aloy in a humorous way.

Tagging @setavvo, @fogsblue, @hannahmationstudios, @destinysembrace-oblivion and @mwasaw. (No pressure! Only if you want to).

#personal #fanfic writer ask #ask game #fanfiction #writing

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justahopelessaromantic · 9 months

Text

Memories (Ch. 1: Jirou)

Fandom: My Hero Academia Ships: Kamijirou and Ochajirou Links to Chapters 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 Summary: They'll probably write memoirs about all this. That or they’ll pay someone else to. When they're all retired top heroes, of course, ready to share their life stories with the public they’ve spent their lives protecting. Who knows? It might even inspire the next generation of crime fighters! Maybe they'll even throw together a neat little scrapbook or something as a class this year and give it to Mr. Aizawa as a gift. For now, it'll just have to settle for rattling around in their brains every once and a while. You know. Like memories do.

Jirou remembers the soft shine of the sun in her eyes

The shade from Uraraka’s arm painting Jirou’s face

As she stretches out her hand

Tips of her fingers pretending to run through the white fluff

Wading through a sea of blue

Almost as if she could rip that light straight out of the sky

(She’d never need to

Uraraka shines so bright already

Like the closest star in the night sky

Jirou would much rather steal her instead

Slip by her in the halls one day

Wordlessly

Snatch her up in plain sight

Drag her

Hand in unlovable hand

Out those front door

Riding the wind to wherever it takes them)

Floating petals brush against Jirou's face

As she plucks blades of grass

1 by 1

Mina mutters something about a pretty view

(It takes Jirou a moment for it to sink in

As she sinks deeper into the tuff of green tickling her neck

Her friends gazing at the sky,

Petals,

Clouds,

Trees,

Sun,

Not the star lying by her side,

With her soft hands,

Faintly folding the edges of her skirt

Rosy cheeks,

Sore from grinning

Wide eyes,

Sparkling in the light

Jirou figures she could stand to be a bit more observant)

Momo offers a soft smile in response.

Tooru hums in agreement

(Or acknowledgment?

Everyone’s she’s so tough to read)

Voices so soft

Kind

Soothing

(Kaminari said the same about her's once

Uraraka too

They're sweet

Maybe even right)

Could lull her to sleep so effortlessly

With the help of the sunshine

Beating down on her skin

Warmth radiating from her classmates-

Classmates?

…Friends

As they lay still with her

Blades of grass tickling their skin

Jirou remembers how it felt to lie with girls like that

Back when she was young

When they let her just be

Cover her ears to muffle suffocating sounds

Hum to herself

Scoot closer to whisper something snarky in their ears

Drown in their soft laughs

(And Jirou‘s never overdramatic

Really, she isn’t

But, god

Uraraka’s airy giggle sounds

Damn

Lovely

It bubbles up from her chest

Rises up and floats in the air

Hovers for just a moment to ring in Jirou’s ears

Before finding itself caught in the wind

Rustling the leaves

Painting the backdrop of woodland creatures scuttling about and gentle chirps far off in the distance

And, oh, how it intertwines itself with Jirou’s low chuckle

The two opposing frequencies blending together

Melting into sweet, sweet harmony

The accompaniment the soft murmur of conversation

About...boys, she thinks?

Who knows

Who cares

Her man is shining

Bright as the sun

And buzzing like the bees somewhere else

Right now

It’s just Jirou and her and them)

Brush her hand against theirs

Exist

She hasn’t had that since 1st grade

She never lets it go

Grips it tight

Digs her nails into it

Refusing to let it slip

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faulty-writes · 2 years

Text

[ I present part four of my Tenya!Demon series. Only five more chapters to go! I don't think I need any warnings for this chapter, but I still hope you enjoy! ]

[ PART ONE ] - [ PART TWO ] - [ PART THREE ] - [ PART FIVE ] [ PART SIX ] - [ PART SEVEN ] - [ PART EIGHT ] - [ PART NINE ]

[ Everything becomes a little clearer after Tenya reveals just what he intends to do with you and why. In your defense, you didn't actually think that ritual would work. But what could you do now that you were faced with the consequences of your actions? And how can you stop Tenya from taking you down below with him? ]

The ungodly sound of his nails against the metal door made you scream and quickly cover your ears. You swore you saw sparks fly as the paint was chipped away, leaving behind not only the gray texture underneath but five visible and fairly large scratch marks.

He looked at you with his teeth bared and when you dared glance up, another scream passed your lips. He had four distinct shark-like fangs, two on the top row and two on the bottom row of his otherwise human-looking teeth.

Your body involuntarily trembled and although it hurt him to see you so frightened, he knew it was necessary. “I do not believe you fully understand what I am intending to do with you,” he said, bringing one hand down to cradle your chin.

You could feel the pressure of his thumbnail underneath your lip and the way his index nail pressed against the underside of your chin. He remained quiet, taking in every detail of your face. “Pardon my touch,” he said, moving his hand to cup the side of your cheek.

“Forgive me, I do not wish to sound presumptuous and I am not assuming my next words because I know you have been lonely," your eyes widened in disbelief. Did Tenya possess some type of empathic ability? He made it a point to state his words were fact, and yes, it was true.

Lately, you had been daydreaming about finding love, a meaningful relationship. At the same time, you found yourself pushing any romantic thoughts away. After all, you were married to your work, right? You couldn’t be acting like a lovesick teenager.

Yet, they kept coming and it frustrated you. So naturally, you thought of two logical options to solve this issue. 1. You could take your chances and try to find a relationship or 2. You could continue to ignore the way you felt and hope you wouldn't go insane.

One option seemed more realistic than the other, and you couldn't really think of a third one. That is until you saw instructions for a manifestation ritual when you were scrolling through social media on one particularly lonely night.

You should have paid more attention to your common sense and ignored the peculiar post altogether. After all, you scoffed when you first glimpsed at it, believing it was nothing more than a gimmick for Halloween. Not to mention, you didn't believe in the supernatural.

How could one that crafted support gear for a living possibly believe in such a fictional aspect? You always leaned toward math and science and showed that with enough hard work, you could bring creations into this reality that far surpassed even the wildest depths of imagination.

But your curiosity ended up getting the best of you and eventually, you went back to the post to read it. There were 7 steps that involved performing the ritual. 1. It was only to be performed on a night with a full moon. 2. You needed a clear space to work in.

3. Blessed salt was required to create a pentagram. Regular salt and a protective affirmation could be used as an alternative. 4. You needed a glass jar filled with cinnamon, oregano, a spoonful of honey, and a slice of lemon.

5. You needed to write everything you desired to manifest on a piece of paper and put it inside the jar. 6. A drop of blood from the one performing the ritual was required to add to the jar. 7. Once these items were prepared, you needed to light a white candle and chant an affirmation over and over again until the candle blew itself out.

This signaled that the universe had heard you and was going to grant the things you desired to manifest. You didn't think this ritual would even work, let alone that the universe wasn't the only entity that could answer you. Apparently, demons could too.

How that was even possible was out of your grasp of knowledge. Tenya narrowed his eyes and slowly moved his hand to grasp your chin once more. His fangs lightly grazed his bottom lip when he locked his eyes with yours.

“I too, have been desiring companionship or ‘love’ as humans call it,” he frowned, shifting his gaze to the floor. “I am afraid to say that humans mistreat the word, and use others for their own selfish desires, and yet...I cannot judge for my intentions are selfish as well,” he admitted in a bittersweet whisper.

Yes, ever since he learned of his brother's demise and that he was going to inherit the throne, he had been quite a mess. His brother was a just and fair ruler, one that he looked up to. He wished for nothing more than to be like his brother one day.

Yet, he could not silence the doubts in his head. Did he truly deserve to be King? Had he rightfully earned the title? The more anxious he became, the more he realized how lonely it was at the top and he could not accept that.

He wanted, no needed, someone by his side. But how and where would he find such a person? The answers weren't coming easy until one night when he was gazing over his Kingdom from his balcony and felt your call. Like hearing a bird sing its sweet melody for the first time, you astonished him.

Your desires were so pure and sweet and kind. They spoke to him and made him realize not only the answers to his questions but what he, in turn, desired. You. Yes, he not only wished to have you but to give you everything you desired and more.

“Y/n…” he said in a slightly breathless manner. The way he spoke your name caught your attention and caused you to flush softly. You hadn't even known Tenya for that long, less than an hour you suspected. Yet, you couldn't help but feel something.

As scary as he may appear, he carried with him a certain gentleness. Like the way he seemed mindful not to hurt you anymore...or so you thought. You gasped when he released your chin and instead, leaned down, bringing his face as close as he could to yours.

Your heart accelerated, but you weren't sure if it was because his handsome face was so close or because you feared that he would misjudge the girth of his horns and accidentally take your eye out. “May I…” he paused, almost like he was nervous or hesitant to perform his next action.

Part of you was confused by this, from what you knew the way he was acting was far from the classic depiction of how a demon should behave. But he was a Prince and maybe royals, even in the underworld, were conditioned a certain way.

He leaned closer, gently placing his forehead against yours. You could feel the weight of his horns and how the tips of them buried themselves in the strands of your hair. He sighed in relief, finding it comforting to be so close to you.

“Your desires…the yearning you held deep in your heart for that which you believed was impossible in your world caused mine to twist, and fill with an equal need to make you mine,” the last word was growled in a possessive manner.

A lump formed in your throat, forcing you to swallow hard and you opened your mouth to speak, but Tenya spoke first. “You desire love, yes?” he used that same breathless voice as before, and you felt your cheeks grow just a notch warmer.

Instead of responding verbally, you nodded. “Something unlike what is defined by your world’s standards,” he added. “That which was not shown to you by those that claimed to have loved you in the past,” your lip trembled and you felt an uncomfortable ache in your chest.

“You desire to learn what the definition of ‘true love’ is and yet, your heart cries out due to the mistreatment you have experienced throughout your mortal life,” your eyes watered over, and that ache grew to cause your chest to feel numb.

“Yet, this injustice was not enough to stop you from aspiring to learn how to love, how to give that which you weren’t taught, and I…” he paused, grabbing both of your hands to bring to his chest. You noticed how cold he was and you couldn't feel a heart beating.

Was he technically dead? Were demons even classified as alive? Your thoughts were shattered when Tenya spoke again. “I could not ignore one that holds such hope, such as what is said to be found in the heroes your world idolizes,” your eyes widened, he knew about that?

“I understand that perhaps through your eyes, I am the perfect depiction of what many in your world would classify as a villain,” you furrowed your brow, uncertain why he was saying this. Yes, he was a demon. Yes, he did scare you. Yes, he did hurt you. But, did that make him a villain?

“Perhaps such labels are rightfully enforced, as I wish to save you by forcefully taking your hand and tearing your soul away from this world,” maybe you spoke too soon. "W-what?" you questioned, watching him step away from you.

He had called you his 'betrothed' before, but what was this about tearing your soul away from your world and...you tried to scream when his hand suddenly wrapped around your throat and his nails dug into your flesh with purpose.

You desperately clawed at his hand, but this was of little use considering he had no intention of releasing you. “S-stop...” you managed to squeak out with tears rolling down your cheeks, feeling your oxygen supply grow thinner.

“Forgive me, I do not take pleasure in knowing this is the only way I can assure that you will be mine. I'm afraid I am too impatient to wait for your natural death to occur. I desire you in the underworld now,” he growled, baring his teeth. His grip tightened and his nails began to penetrate your neck.

[ PART FIVE ]

#tenya x reader #iida x reader #tenya x you #iida x you #tenya x y/n #iida x y/n #bnha x reader #bnha x y/n #bnha x you #faulty writes: tenya iida #faulty writes: tenya iida: demon series

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cranberrymoons · 10 months

Text

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @steventhusiast a billion years ago and more recently by @thefreakandthehair and @just-my-latest-hyperfixation🥰

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 49 under my current account, there are some fics for other fandoms buried deep within the depths of the archive which we WILL NOT DISCUSS at this time

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 128,515

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently just stranger things! I wrote one fic for Crazyhead this summer, a single-season Netflix show from 2016 (?) and that fic has 6 hits 😎 I'm also considering writing a top gun fic (entirely your fault @urmomsonfire) (affectionate) but no promises yet

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

get it off your chest

can't start a fire

so fondly today

something so pretty

i carry this feeling

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? yes!! I always respond to comments, even though it sometimes takes me a week or two. comments are genuinely so special to me and my FAVORITE thing is when someone reads a bunch of my fics in a row and I can follow their comment trail 🥹 I love comments

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I'm a happy endings girlie all the way, I genuinely don't have an answer for this 😅

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? so many of my fics are fluff-fest so I'm not really sure. maybe i carry this feeling because it's (currently) the end to a long future fic series and feels like a good buttoning-up of that story which is still being added to

8. Do you get hate on fics? someone once called me transphobic for having steve paint his nails in a fic (??) but that turned out to be a random anon from that twitter meltdown that was happening over the summer (i am not on twitter and didn't know it was even happening until after the fact)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? LMAO (yes, i write lots of fluffy goofy smut with feelings. if they're not talking and/or laughing a lot during sex, it's not a sage fic)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? no, I really struggle with the concept of crossovers in general. I don't read them usually and wouldn't really know how to begin to write one! but fics set IN the universe of something else (not a crossover where two different universe's characters interact) – I like those.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that I know of in this fandom

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes! but not in this fandom

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no, but I would definitely be interested if it was with the right person!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? I can't answer this 🫣 I will say steddie is the ship I've written the most words for

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I'm not sure I really have one that's out there right now. there are a few things in my google docs that might not see the light of day

16. What are your writing strengths? dialogue! good communication is so important to meeee and I have so much fun writing it

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I always feel like I struggle with scene-setting/imagery because I focus so much on character interaction

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I've written French dialogue in fics before (not in this fandom) which made sense situationally. I think it works as long as you make sure to translate in end notes and/or through context clues, so the reader doesn't have to keep jumping back and forth between google translate

19. First fandom you wrote for? early 00s, the wizards who must not be named

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? this changes depending on my mood tbh. my usual answer is either so fondly today because I love the energy of that fic or back in the new york groove which has so much pulled from my own life. I also had a lot of fun writing wanna help my worlds collide

no pressure 😇 @urmomsonfire @wynnyfryd @thisapplepielife @shares-a-vest

#tag games

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coleyo · 2 years

Text

BITTW chapter three!

SUMMARY:

Mikey recives a gift from master Leonardo and discovers new things about his sensei..

Mikey made his way down the halls, rubbing his arm cautiously..

It turns out that he'd have to wait a while to get home, huh?...Funny. At this time, he had lost his appetite. All he wanted to do for the time being, was sleep.. Where was Casey's room? He never told Mikey.

"-oh. Wait. Casey-!" Mikey would call out before turning around... Huh. He was no-where to be seen. Oh well. Mikey would just have to search for it. He'd roam the halls, humming to himself. They would open numerous doors, but to no avail. Finally, thy reached a door with a piece of paper, taped onto it. It

read , Stay out with bold, messy hand writing. "...Meh." The mutant shrugged, figuring A little peak wouldn't hurt..

He'd tear the note from the door, entering the room. It was dark, dimly lit by a few candles around a various Pictures. Mikey stared in awe..

he would examine the photos carefully, they seemed to be group pictures.. and..oh!, there were two, rather unfamiliar Mutants. One that was bigger than the rest, and one that looked a bit like the others, most simaliar to leo. Mikey was assuming that's their raph and Donnie. Mikey looked ahead, spotting a camera. A large one, compared to the ones Mikey have seen before. The terrapin cocked their head, rather curious. They would walk over to the device, picking it up. "-Lets see .." Mikey mumbles, fidgeting with the object. His finger graced over a button, causing a video to resume.

This startled Mikey, causing them to drop the camera as an audio began to echo. "Huh.." the mutant whispered to himself, getting on his knees and examining the footage.. it was a video of a mutant with an orange bandana, he was in a kitchen, recording himself. "Sensei Angelo! But small?" Mikeys pitch raised, but fell silent just to watch the tape.

"-Eh-.. Leo, is this thing recording?" Angelo spoke, "-Is the red light flashin'?" "-Yup!" "-Then yes, yes it is!" "-Alright!" He'd smile, placing the camera in a corner. "-Alright, today, I'll be teaching my lovely bro' here how to cook!" She'd pull another into frame, a mutant with a purple mask and goggles. "-Please, I do not require any sort tutoring. All I need is my handy Tech' and I'll be set--" "-No Donnie, no tech!" Angelo placed their hands on their hips, giving the other a pouty look. "-Fine. But why is Leo here? You could've took Raph." "-Well Leo was... Eh... Available." Angelo shrugged, a sheepish look appearing on her face. Leo glared, "-I heard that." "-Alright, but are they wrong?" Donatello smirks. "-Oh, That's IT --" Leo sat up, pouncing at the other. "-GUYS!" Angelo shouts before the camera had fallen. That's when the video ended.

Mikey chuckled, "-So.. that's their don', for sure! Cool! Let's see what else is on here.." with the click of the button, the setting had changed. The camera was on Angelo again, but this time, she wore a hoodie and a mask. Police sirens echoed in the back as he'd spray paint a building with thier own signature. The video was not long lasted, as it was only around ten , twelve seconds long. It ended there, and almost immediately switched to another piece of footage. Yet again, there was Mikey, but with a human girl, one that looked like commander O'Neil.. so, Mikey guessed that was younger April. The two were in a house like setting.

"-Hey April.." Angelo spoke, glaring at the girl. She'd look back up at him with a smile. "-Does this look alright?" They'd turn towards her. April smile, the two tails of Mikey's mask was tied up into a bow -like formation, it looked rather pretty to Mikey. As the footage went on, Mikey found himself poking at the back of his Mask, Wondering if he too could tie his mask up to look like that, but.. it was too short. The mutant frowned, crossing his legs and placing their hands in between them. The two looked like they were having fun, doing one another nails and trying on new accessories.. Oh, how Mikey wished he could have that kind of relationship with his brothers, heck, anybody even, but no. It was all just.. work. The video finally ended, and the screen went black.. dang it. "Camera dead.." The terrapin huffed, pouting and tapping their foot. Their train of thought was then cut off by the sound of a deep voice, but a familiar one. "-Seems you had quite a blast looking at those, hm?"

Mikey yelped, turning around and glaring at the other. It was Leo, he was leaning on the doorframe with a smirk on his face, one that never seemed to come off. "..How long were you standing there, you really freaked me out!", Micheal scolds, startled by the sudden appearance. "-Long enough to know that you snoop around way too much.. ya know, you kind of remind me of somebody." Leon entered the room, examining Angelo. "-..Really? Who?" He'd ask with a radiant look on his face. "-Well--.. myself, in a way... The younger me. Impulsive, curious, stubborn.. the list goes on." "-is.. that a bad thing?" Mikey frowned, backing from the larger terrapin. "-..It depends on how you take it. Me?, I wouldn't take it in a bad way, I mean, it shows you have a lot more to learn and that's... Good. Well, when you're in the apocalypse." A brief moment of silence passed between the two, before Leo finally spoke up. "-Oh yeah! 'Noticed you were.. playing with your mask tails. You want longer ones, dont you?" "-Woah.. uh-- Y- yeah, kind of.. N-- not for any um.. stupid reason or.. like.. anything." Mikey pressed his two index fingers together repeatedly. Leo chuckled, passing Mikey and reaching into a box squeezed into the corner. He'd toss an orange mask with longer ends to mikey. Mikey would catch the object and smile, tapping his feet a bit. "-Y'know.. Your sensei there is very.. mysterious.. a loner is the right word? They have their reasons. 'She doesn't open up too much. So.. when I pass, she'll be in charge of this whole.. base. I'm just worried that she won't be able to manage and have another one of those.. meltdowns, like last time. So do me a favor.. atleast try to help him open up.. we fight alot but..

I dont want to see my Baby brother suffer like this." Mikey stared at master Leonardo, dumbfounded. How was he supposed to do that? "-..How do I.. do that?" "-Well--.." Leo started. "-You also remind me of well.. him. But you get, as you can assume from those tapes. A bubbly, energetic personality. You'll get her to comply in no time." "-.Alright! I'll do what I can!" "-thanks little guy.. also, remind them to eat.. sometimes he decides to.. not? It's dangerous, low blood sugar and what not."

Mikey nods, running off.. that was pleasant. He'd look down at the bandana in his hands.. He couldn't wait to try it on.

#leosagi #mondomikey #rottmnt #shellshocked #the usagi chronicles #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt au #rottmnt au #tmnt fanfiction

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missladymusings · 2 years

Text

No Way But Forward

Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender

Character: Azula

Word Count: 2k

Publish Date: 9/3/22

Warnings: Mentions of previous self-harm, suicidal attempt, abuse

Major Tags: Modern AU, Redemption, Angst with a Happy Ending, PTSD, Loving Family, Iroh and Zuko are Good Family, Azula was 14 Years Old

Summary:

9 things about Modern AU Azula, a 19 year old living with her uncle above his tea shop.

Azula has survived a lot of terrible things- her father's abuse, her mother's emotional distance, a psychotic break- but she's determined to fight the demons and find herself.

Read "No Way But Forward" on AO3 or keep reading

A/N: This character study was a fun little exercise that, as I mass upload my old works without editing, I can look fondly back upon. Please be kind, and enjoy.

1.) Her favorite color is red

It’s a swelteringly hot night in August when she realizes that she likes seeing herself in the red lighting of a restaurant sign. Her hands shoving a debit card back into her clutch purse, swimming in red. Her body, nails, clothes, hair, soul: all illuminated, painted in red. Not scarlet, not burgundy, not crimson. Just the red of Fire Nation’s Best- just like her.

The thought surprises her, curling in her chest. There’s so much of her life that was handed forced down onto her by her father that she often doesn’t know where he has bled into her. Is her favorite food really Beijing Kaoya, or did she like the way Ozai made Zuko eat it every first Sunday of the month, tears streaming down his face from eating his favorite animal? Does she really like to play the piano, or did something deep inside her collapse in on itself after the 10,001st hour of practice? When she had tried to end everything, did she really want to die or did his voice drown out every reason why she wanted to live?

But this- the color that adorned every room in her childhood- this she knows she likes, so she buys a cheap color changing light and decides to bathe her room in the color. It goes on every night at sunset and stays on even as she sleeps. When she goes to the bathroom, it spills from the small crack under her door and trickles down the hallway. Iroh doesn’t say anything, but he starts working on brewing a new tea that steeps into a pure red. A little figure of a red dragon appears on her desk a few weeks later. He writes the notes he leaves her in red ink. Shuffled into her growing collection is a new paint palette of different shades of red.

Azula kisses his cheek one day before he opens the store and the red stain of her lips is still there when he’s falling asleep on the couch to some Asian drama show.

Zuko, she can tell, is a bit more concerned. His scar is more immediately noticeable, but her marks run like silver slits of a knife down her face. Once they were red, the same red that stayed under her fingernails for a whole day until the nurses sedated her enough to scrub them clean. She’s sure there was more red soaked into her bed sheets and carpet.

Apparently wounds on the face bleed more than anywhere else. She doubts that Zuko will ever forget that fun little fact- nor her chopped hair, bloody-clawed-raw face or screams she let out.He eyes the red of her lipstick and nails and shirts and comforter like he’s approaching a wild animal.

He relaxes once she paints a red bird flying free from broken chains: heavy handed to make sure it gets through his thick skull, but at least he gets the message.

2.) Just because there are mostly good nights, doesn’t mean the bad nights are magically cured

Her hands shake as she wedges herself between the couch and the wall. It’s a tight squeeze. Not the tightest she’s ever managed to escape Ozai, though. She’s done crazier things to dodge his fists and his temper.

“This is fine,” she tells herself. “The tighter I ball up, the less he can hit.”

Aang’s taking it decently well, considering how little they know each other, but his eyes are wild as they search for Iroh or Zuko or honestly anyone more qualified to handle her.

She presses her back against the wall and feels the solidness on three sides.

Good, good.

Now if he comes to attack her, she only has to defend one side. It’s somewhat disadvantageous to be cornered like this, but since her front is the only side open, he’ll have to come into her field of vision before he attacks and if she can see Ozai she can-

Aang’s hands wrap gently around her own and pull them to his own chest. He breathes slowly and she pretends to listen to whatever bullshit he’s spewing about focusing on her surroundings. Still, she can’t help but match her admittedly feral breathing down to his annoyingly calm pace. Her mind races as she presses herself back further into the corner, though.

The room is deathly silent for a few moments.

“I feel like I’m spinning out of control. I’m not even doing anything, but it still feels I’m still losing my grip again.”

Aang continues breathing in his nose and out through his mouth. He takes a beat.

“I don’t understand, but if you want to keep talking I want to keep listening,” he says.

She snorts lightly. Ever the diplomat, just like Zuko described him.

When Zuko and Iroh come back from the pizza place 20 minutes later, she’s telling him about the way her Mom used to laugh on the rare occasion that it happened.

3.) Azula rescues the dumpster cat from behind the Jasmine Dragon, not Iroh.

It used to be so dangerous to like things when Ozai was around. It was only a guarantee that one day he would turn around and snuff it out before eyes or throw it back in her face. Hobbies, people and pets included.

So the first time she sees his curious little brown face with the huge blown pupils peeking at her from behind the corner, she ignores him. Every day after her shift for the next two weeks, though, she sees the same damn cat. No matter how much she stomps her foot in his direction or hisses at him in order to scare him off, he doesn’t leave. On the eighth day, she decides if he’s going to be such a stubborn pain in the ass, she might as well leave him the can of cat food she happened to pick up while grocery shopping with Iroh.

Not because she likes him. It’s only because she doesn’t want rats out by the garbage and the little shit is keeping them away. It’s not like he’s cute or anything.

A month later, the bell on his collar is a familiar sound around the shop and he’s been poked by so many needles that he might even be immune to Death itself.

Azula lets him curl up by her feet at night, breathing softly and slowly. It reminds her of when she was little and would crawl into Zuko’s bed after a nightmare.

She names the cat Zuzu just to fuck with him.

4.) She likes having her head shaved

The first time she did it was purely out of practicality. After her lost battle with the infamous pair of scissors, her long hair was too unevenly chunky to be salvaged. The nurse gave her a pixie cut to “help”, but was worse because it looked closer to a catholic monk’s bowl-cut than anything else. It had to come off. She went into the bathroom with hair one night and walked out with only the shortest of stubble.

At first, it’s shameful.

Of course, she has a great head shape and her face is more than beautiful enough to carry it, scars or not. Azula could wear her hair however she wants and she’ll make it look pretty.

That’s not the issue. It’s just- her hair was like a crown. Always perfect and in place. Naturally pin straight and the perfect black-brown. It’s actually that thought that frees her, though. She likes letting go of that perfection, of that pressurized tank.

Azula lets it grow out a few inches until she confirms what she already knows: the shaved head is staying.

She lets her the rest of her hair grow long (because okay, sue her, it’s not the most flattering haircut she’s ever had) and ropes in Zuko’s talkative roommate Sokka to teach her how to shave the right side of her head.

It’s an odd scene. Azula and Sokka sit on the floor on a trash bag while Zuko holds one of those cheap full-length mirrors up so she can see how to part the hair properly and cut it cleanly.

Toph, with the sharp wit and no-nonsense attitude she respects, is sprawled at the end of the couch with her one leg thrown over the side. She throws little sarcastic comments at Sokka’s instructions and Azula can’t help but crack and small smile.

Next to her sits Aang and his Watertribe girlfriend (Sokka's sister, she's 85% sure?) who are chatting loudly with Sokka’s jujitsu girlfriend and Iroh about how the different languages of the nations overlap and differentiate.

Azula feels like she’s inserted herself into a puzzle that’s long been put together, but she still fits. And she doesn’t mind fitting in, either. Also, her hair looks sick as fuck and is only going to look cooler as the rest grows longer.

5.) She still needs her big brother sometimes

Zuko lays gently down on the floor next to her. On their sides, they face each other. Scarred and older in the face than they should be.

“I’m always going to love you, Zula. You know that, right? I’m always going to be your big brother.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

And that’s enough.

6.) She’s OBSESSED with True Crime Podcasts

It’s nice to see how peaceful she looks with her headphones in at lunchtime or washing dishes after the café closes, until Zuko realizes what she’s listening to. Apparently, listening to horrific retellings of 40-year-old bald white men murder their entire families and random women is the perfect thing to eat turkey sandwiches and clean teacups to.

7.) Azula still has the pictures of Ty Lee and Mai hanging on her wall

They haven’t talked in years, but she still has their pictures hanging on the corkboard above her desk. In one, they’re frozen in time as high school sophomores before the Homecoming dance, genuinely smiling for once. In another, Ty Lee is in her stage makeup with her arms flung around Mai and Azula. A third has Mai and Zuko blushing on the front porch before their first date, long before they decided they needed a break to find themselves.

She knows she fucked up, but she still loves them. She’s learning that it’s okay to love someone and want the world for them and still recognize that they don’t have to forgive you and let you back in. Sometimes you just have to let people go and love them like the moon loves the ocean. Always distant, but always constant. She hopes they’re doing well.

8.) Azula absolutely has a record collection.

On rainy days, which happen so much more here in the Earth Kingdom, she turns them on and lays on the floor. She lets them wash over her, lets herself think about everything.

She plays Billie Eilish, Halsey, Miley Cyrus for herself.

Fall Out Boy and Hozier on the days she wants to remember Mai. One Direction and 5SOS on the days that Ty Lee swims in her head.

Arctic Monkeys for Zuko- replays “Arabella” three times. Old musicals like “Singin’ in the Rain” and folk music of the different nations for Iroh. Beethoven, Xian Xinghai, Mozart, Chou Wen-Chung and the like for the days she wants to remember her mother. Her favorite composition is still Fur Elise, likes to glide her fingers through the air like they’re sliding over an invisible piano.

She starts throwing in Bob Marley for Aang and 80’s rock bands with a splash of Tame Impala for Sokka. Toph, the DAMN. album from Kendrick. And on the extremely infrequent occasion she wants to think about her father- the rarest of rare good times on Ember Island- she plays Elvis.

9.) She’s thinking about moving to Omashu.

Ba Sing Se is fine, lightyears ahead of Caldera or anywhere else in the Fire Nation. And sure, she likes living with Iroh. Likes hearing his snoring down the hall and his laugh, smelling his teas around the clock and feeling the warmth of his bear hugs.

Still, there’s something tugging in her chest. Here in Ba Sing Se, she’s That Girl. Iroh’s niece, Zuko’s sister, the one that showed up with gashes running down her face one afternoon and never left. The Crazy One. The One That Occasionally Loses Her Temper. The Scary One.

She’s never felt more like herself before, but she knows deep within that her growth is limited here. She needs to find “Azula” out there, and what better place to do it than Omashu University while getting a degree?

She thinks that she’ll pitch it to Iroh when summer rolls around, work on her application in the meantime. She has the money from the inheritance Ozai left her. What better way to spend blood money?

But until the summer, she’ll just enjoy her life as it is. Working in the tea shop during the week, watching TV on the couch with Iroh at night and filling her weekends with visiting Zuko’s (her?) friends.

#avatar #modern au #avatar the last airbender #fanfiction #ao3 #azula #check the tags #trigger warning #alternate universe #modern #angst angst angst #angst with a hopeful ending #hope #uncle iroh #zuko #team avatar

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casbeeminestiel · 2 years

Text

I think my mental health started to suffer again when I stopped taking my feelings step by step. Like a recipe or a lab procedure maybe.

Step 1: Evaluate the emotion. What am I feeling? Is it sadness? Is it anger?

Step 2: Evaluate my physical condition. Have I had food today? Do I need to drink water? Am I on my medication? Where am I on the menstrual cycle?

Step 3: Consider outside factors. Have I been outside yet? Is there something in my life that is stressing me out (family, exams, etc)? Have I talked to anyone today? How have those conversations played out? Most importantly, what can I control?

Step 4: If there’s a physical problem, fix it. Eat a snack. Drink a big glass of water. Even if the emotion doesn’t go away, another issue will. If there’s an external problem that I can control, do the same thing. Get a little bit of studying done. Pick up a single sock off my floor. If going outside is too hard, at least turn on a light or open the window. If it’s something I can’t control, try to accept it for what it is.

Step 5: If I still don’t feel better, engage in a self-care activity. Take a hot shower or bath with some nice soap. Paint my nails. Make myself a cup of tea or hot chocolate. Read a book. Put on nice pajamas and watch Netflix. Talk to someone. If I can’t talk to someone, I write it down somewhere.

Step 6: Compliment someone else. Do something nice for them. Tell people how much I appreciate them. It helps to be kind. It helps to make other people happy.

Step 7: Try not to treat a bad moment like a bad day. This is arguably the hardest thing to do. I know that my worst days often snowball from one bad moment. A stubbed toe, a bad grade, traffic, or a phone call are not worth me losing an entire day over. I try to remember golf. My biggest rule, and the reason I could lose three balls on one hole and get a par on the next one was by telling myself to take it one swing at a time.

Step 8: Take it easy. It’s a bad page in a good, long book. I am a good person. I deserve to feel good things.

#duckposting #tw: food mention #mental health #for instance #I am sad #I am also hungry #I have talked to one person today #I am currently sitting outside #the sunshine feels good #I am about to go get food #and maybe a coffee too #I literally treat myself like a child in order to drag myself out of a spiral

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luantakestheamulet · 5 months

Note

If we may, pretty please, a tiny peek at how you guys make the pages?

Sure! This is a good segue into a quick announcement that Spice is out on vacation, so there's no comic page this week, but hopefully this behind-the-scenes post makes for a fun change of pace in the meantime. As an example, here's the process we went through for page 10, written from the perspective of Spice.

LTTA started out as a notebook doodle I made while bored during a Zoom meeting. That means the first draft of the comic existed on pencil and notebook paper. Here's a look at page 10:

(When I first started doodling comics in high school, I used to fit four comic pages per notebook page just to save on paper, but I've kept doing it to keep my writing economical. If the thing I want to write doesn't fit in the panel, then I probably need to redraw the panel or stop using so many words hahaha)

For people who aren't me, the low contrast and scribbly handwriting on the notebook page make it kinda hard to read/work with, so I transcribed it into something a little easier to parse:

Most of these thumbnail pages are just storyboard-esque lines on a blank background, but sometimes I start blocking in basic lighting, which you can see here in panel 1. Some of the other pages have plot-relevant Enchanter Purple in their thumbnails as well.

This is usually the stage where I share them with Carpet for feedback, since it's easier to revise dialogue/pacing/continuity errors at this stage than it is later in the process. These thumbnails are easy and quick to make, and I don't have a problem discarding/redrawing if needed. Carpet tends to have really valuable feedback on character voice and motivations as well. For example, the reason page 10 came into existence in the first place was because of a conversation we had about the page before it and fleshing out Shield's objections more.

After any initial problems are cleared up, I'll do a first pass of layout, lighting, and colors:

The goal of this stage is not to produce a perfectly rendered page, but rather to start solving some of the puzzles of the page-- where's the lighting coming from? What's the lightest and the darkest thing in each panel? Is the composition directing the eye where it needs to go? Where's the camera relative to the characters? What's the perspective used for the background? I also do my best to get the lettering/bubbles in good shape, but I always inevitably end up changing something by the time the page goes live hahaha

From here, the page goes to Carpet, who will do painting/lighting/rendering and sometimes rearrange panels entirely. Here's how page 9 came back from Carpet:

This page iteration uses The Enchanter's finalized character design, whereas the previous iterations came from before we had nailed it down. Apart from that, Carpet redrew the characters and backgrounds, flipped Shield Knight horizontally in panel 2, changed the perspective in panel 3, and changed the panel layout for panels 4 and 5. Zooming in on Shield's face in the last panel helps bring out the tension of her conundrum, and streamlining Enchanter's line delivery in panel 4 helps him read a bit more clearly. Carpet also offered some bubble suggestions in light of the layout changes.

Carpet also had this to say about the decision to remove Shield's helmet: "Removing her helmet would be like removing her knighthood from her, so you just see her as a regular person who’s scared and vulnerable vs a knight who was spitting out demands and breaking the walls earlier."

There have been a few times when the two of us go back and forth with revisions at this stage, figuring out the clearest way to portray something. The fight scene in the first few pages comes to mind, as well as one of Enchanter's poses on page 11. In the case of page 10, I had no notes, so the page came back to me for a final round of bubble cleanup and lettering.

Here's the final product:

So the quick summary of our collaboration process would look a little like this:

Thumbnails - Spice Writing - Spice Narrative feedback - Carpet Color keys - Spice Background rendering - Carpet Character rendering - Carpet Other artistic revisions - Carpet Lettering, gutters, other page design - Spice

And there you have it!

#shovel knight #specter of torment #behind the scenes

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calamityandme · 1 year

Text

I cleaned for R today. I feel like I did a good job compared to messing up some last time.

While I cleaned I listened to more of my audiobook. I’m currently listening to Gerald’s Game by Stephen King. It’s one of those books that I’ve listened to too much to not finish it, but listening to it is also sometimes agonizing lol. My thoughts so far:

1. Stephen King needs to stop writing from the female perspective. No one’s breasts have ever been thrust as often as this poor woman he’s handcuffed to the bed.

2. The scenes where he’s describing Jessie the main character getting molested by her father are done poorly. It’s hard to listen to as someone who has been assaulted as a child. I’m only 44% through with this audiobook and I’m already bracing for the next fictional memory/flashback. Only 7.5 hours to go! Lol.

3. This particular audiobook I’m listening to is hilarious because instead of indicating the next chapter has started, a woodwind song plays for a few seconds. Flutes playing a very 80s sounding, slightly spooky tune.

Even though the book is hard to listen to at points, I am finding it entertaining and a bit spooky. I’m really excited for my next audiobook, The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. I have read it before as a kid and loved it.

Before I left R’s house I lost the check I was paid with. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out where I put it. I told R and she said she would write me another check. She texted me a few hours later with a photo of the check in one of the bedrooms I had cleaned lol. R chalked it up to me being me. I’d lose my head if it wasn’t screwed on tight.

When I came home my partner was doing the dishes with a black apron, no shirt and his jeans on. We hadn’t been able to have sex for almost two weeks because I’ve been treating a yeast infection. Today was the first day I decided in my head I could have sex, since it was the day after my last treatment and I was feeling good.

We had sex and it was definitely what we both needed. Since then I’ve been kind of light. The world seems like a less evil place haha.

I am planning on hanging out at home today and not doing much. Maybe paint my nails, take a nice bath, smoke, watch a movie? Not in that order.

Sorry this post’s been erratic. It’s been a good day so far. Hoping it stays that way

#journal #diary #diary posting #blog #blogging #w33d #writing #mental health #book #books #gerald’s game #Stephen king #graveyard book #neil gaiman #writers #daily life

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leighsartworks216 · 2 years

Text

Masterlist

This will inevitably get longer the more fandoms and characters I write for, and I will absolutely be keeping it updated. Also, if links don't work, please lemme know and I'll fix em :)

Request Rules

Dialogue Prompts

Tag List Form

Marvel

Loki Masterlist

Also includes Mobius M. Mobius and Wowki/Lokius fics

Markiplier Egos

Markiplier Egos Masterlist

Baldur’s Gate 3

First Baldur’s Gate 3 Masterlist

Second Baldur’s Gate 3 Masterlist

I Come With Knives Masterlist

My Hero Academia

Shouta Aizawa/Eraserhead

Stressing About Finals - ao3 - Dadzawa x gn!reader (familial)

Warnings: brief mention of family abandonment

Hizashi Yamada/Present Mic

Feeling Shitty - ao3 - Dad Mic x gn!reader (familial)

Warnings: feeling like shit, depression i guess, hurt/comfort, slight fem reader vibes kinda?? But it can be read as neutral. Oh also swearing just a little

Yagi Toshinori/All Might

Number One Dad - ao3 - Dad Might x gn!reader (familial)

Warnings: none

Erasermic

Erasermic Drabble - ao3 - Shouta Aizawa x Hizashi Yamada

Warnings: none

The Witcher

AO3 Only (Links for here broke) - Geralt x gn!reader (platonic/familial), Jaskier x gn!reader

General warnings (Please read the warnings on each chapter): swearing, blood, fighting

The Viper: Rewritten - AO3 - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Jaskier x gn!Witcher!reader, Geralt & gn!Witcher!reader (platonic/familial)

General warnings: swearing, blood, violence/fighting

Jaskier

I'm Not Fine - Jaskier x fem!reader

Warnings: hurt/comfort, monster attack, injury (not explicit), nightmares, fear of death (mostly implied)

The Old Witch Sleep - Jaskier x gn!reader

Warnings: mention of exes, hurt/comfort, gross descriptions of crying

Bloodborne

Rom, the Vacuous Spider

My Love - self-indulgent first person

Warnings: canon-typical depressing and angsty

Pokemon

Raihan

Dragon Trainers - Raihan x FTM!reader (headcanons)

Warnings: none

Star Trek

Leonard “Bones” McCoy

Logical - Bones x GN!Reader (platonic or romantic)

Warnings: swearing, injuries, angst + hurt/comfort with a happy ending

Data Soong

Painting Data’s Nails - ao3 - Data x GN!Reader (platonic)

Warnings: very very light angst

Biological Malfunctions - ao3 - Data x AFAB!reader (platonic or romantic)

Warnings: period fic, read warnings on fic

Pottery with Data - ao3 - Data x gn!reader (platonic)

Warnings: none, just fluff

Star Wars

Obi-Wan Kenobi

I Forgive You - Obi-Wan Kenobi x gn!reader

Warnings: hurt/comfort??, some fluff, read warnings on fic

Din Djarin

Goodbye to a World - AO3 - Din Djarin & gn!reader

Warnings: blasters are pulled out but not fired, lots of emotions dealing with walking to one’s death, angst

Ace Attorney

Miles Edgeworth

You’re Married?! - AO3 - Miles Edgeworth drabble

Warnings: none

Phoenix Wright

We’ll Be Okay - AO3 - Phoenix Wright (disbarred) x gn!reader (can be read as platonic)

Warnings: living paycheck to paycheck, depression, references to alcoholism, hurt/comfort, fluff, light angst

Not Guilty - AO3 - Phoenix Wright (disbarred) & “adopted” gn!reader (PLATONIC/FAMILIAL)

Warnings: allusions to murder, blood mention, possible abusive family references

I Believe In You - AO3 - Phoenix Wright (disbarred) x gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of murder, references to past mentally abusive relationships (not explicit), mentions of blowing noses/snot/mucus, like 2 swears

Klavier Gavin

Strawberry Lip Balm - AO3 - Klavier Gavin x gn!reader

Warnings: none

Legend of Zelda

Ganondorf

My King - AO3 - Ganondorf x gn!Hylian!reader/no-name OC

Warnings: making out, allusions to sex, possessiveness, size-difference

Forever and Always - AO3 - Ganondorf x gn!Hylian!reader/no-name OC

Warnings: none, just fluff

Wishes - AO3 - Ganondorf x gn!Captain!reader/no-name OC

Warnings: none

Lord of the Rings

Aragorn

Face the Crowd - AO3 - Aragorn x fem!Reader

Stardew Valley

Harvey

... Oops - AO3 - Harvey x gn!Farmer

Warnings: swearing, dizziness, anxiety, possibly OOC Harvey

On The Count Of Three - AO3 - Harvey x FTM!Farmer

Warnings: needles, injections, mention of fear of heights, anxiety, references to Harvey's ten heart event, slight hurt/comfort, semi-implied transphobia (not addressed)

I Was Hoping You'd Find Me Here - AO3 - Harvey x gn!Farmer

SMUT Warnings: smut, semi-public sex, hand jobs, blow job mention, anxiety, embarrassment, blood mention, praise kink, slight dom/sub

We'll Figure It Out - AO3 - Harvey x gn!Farmer

Warnings: hurt/comfort, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts (not explicit), crying, brief reference to alcoholism, drugs and suicide

And All I See Is You - AO3 - Harvey x gn!Farmer

Warnings: cold, shivering, nudity mention

How To Adjust To Married Life - AO3 - Harvey x gn!Farmer

Warnings: none

The Arcana

Asra Alnazar

Rice Pudding - AO3 - Asra x gn!Reader/Apprentice

Warnings: food, vague spoilers (as in, if you know you know), Asra being mischievous

Julian Devorak

Death Bed - AO3 - Julian x gn!Reader/Apprentice

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, crying, mental breakdown, coming to terms with dying, death, spoilers for Julian's route

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aiweirdness · 3 years

Text

Pranks you can do at home

I’ve tried to generate April Fools pranks using neural nets before, to mixed success.

Char-rnn’s pranks made no sense (“Glue all the eggs in the hubcaps of someone’s computer”) while GPT-2 generated surrealist performance art (“Paint the fridge with the red spiders”). One thing I’ve noticed, though, is that many of the AI-generated pranks are ones that you play on yourself.

So for 2021 I turned to GPT-3, whose internet training has included lots of “Top Ten April Fools Pranks!” listsicles, and gave it the following list to complete:

Quarantining by yourself on April 1? Has your cat put an absolute moratorium on pranks? Not to worry! Here's a list of April Fools pranks you can play on yourself! 1.

Remember that as a text-generating neural net, GPT-3’s goal is to predict what humans would write next.

Let’s see what DaVinci, the largest of the GPT-3 variants, predicts:

DaVinci

Create a secret language that only you and your cat can understand.

Repaint your nails in an unusual color like ORANGE, and just leave them like that.

Move your bed away from the wall and sleep in the middle of the room in a pile of comfy pillows.

Stand in line for a movie for 30 minutes and then leave.

Ordering junk treats from TV ads at 3 in the morning, like those "falling in the ocean" doughnuts.

Sawing your mattress in half in order to see if it's still good.

Putting your car keys in the freezer and forgetting where you put them.

You didn't remember to make an appointment with your electrician, plumber, or cable tv provider. When you run out of excuses you can always tell people it was a prank.

Take it to the next level. Make an appointment with yourself. Say you are going to clean up your mess and go for a run. Block out a day for it. (And for goodness' sake, don't clean anything and absolutely do not go for a run).

With example pranks in the prompt, DaVinci might have stayed more with pranks and less with what is frankly an impressive picture of covid quarantine life, considering its internet training data stopped in October 2019. Next, we have the second-biggest GPT-3 variant:

Curie

Install a fake microwave on the wall that you never use.

Take a picture of your bathroom and plaster it on your fridge.

Set up a freezer in your freezer. Then put a sign on it that says "Freezer burn."

You can set up an old TV in the middle of your room and use it as a table. You can christen this "April Fools' Day TV Table".

You can take a bunch of jellybeans, put them in a Ziplock bag, and tie the bag around your neck.

Take out your credit cards and plunk them down randomly in different parts of your house. If a funny looking cat appears on the bill, you will be laughing out loud before you've even opened a door!

At least these are pranks. Pranks nobody will see coming.

The next smallest neural net is:

Babbage

Eat a banana inside your own mouth.

Go to the bathroom, then switch off the light. You will see a holographic image of your cat inside the toilet!

Have a tortoise deliver your package for you, don't be surprised if it sings "Happy Birthday" back at you.

Opt for the treadmill. You'll be running in the nude.

Showering! Flowing through the water in a reindeer-like manner while wearing a Santa hat.

Be ready for a bird.

Write a bowling ball on your wall in the shape of a letter "P."

Put your name on a balloon. Surprise!

Pour a cup of coffee on your lap. It's an oldie, but it's still a favorite.

Talk to yourself. OK, this one might not seem like a prank, but I assure you, it is. Just wait until the third day of April when your friends hear that you are still talking to yourself!

And there’s Ada, the smallest GPT-3 variant! Ada has some pranks!

Ada

Running on Leg

My cat slept through a December blizzard in Florida this year.

Placing a crown on your head

Sleep in the rafters of a converted school bus in Pewaukee, Wisconsin.

There's a square of chicken on your front lawn.

Have a small black bar, maybe six inches across, made of a giant mason jar, nailed to the side of the truck.

Decompiling your nose

Walk into a toy store and buy a pack of bathmats, an inflatable pill bottle, and a video game, but only if you're a cat.

Prank: In my house, there are porcelain ponies. I swear that they exist.

Walk to the pool with a giant ball of shapely hair and a coconut on a leash. On a poolside balcony. Really, this is the most fun you'll do in your entire life.

Make Your Own Coffee

Interestingly, some of the neural nets would get pretty elaborate with their prank explanations. Curie invented this game! Rules presented here verbatim. It takes a while to learn.

The "Untruthful Food" Game

This game takes a while to learn, but trust me, after you've played a couple of rounds, everyone will be intrigued.

Description

One person says something that sounds true, and you all shake your heads. The next person says something that sounds false, and you all shake your heads.

Example

"I'm going to eat a lemon" leads to a head shake by everyone.

"I'm going to eat sour cream from the fridge" leads to a head shake from you and all of your friends.

"I'm going to eat a balloon" leads to a head shake from you and your friends.

The next person says, "I'm going to eat a bicycle tire," and laughs, and everyone laughs. Go ahead, shake your heads for me.

I also discovered I could get DaVinci to write pranks for the post-human future, including:

Intentionally mislabeling the trash receptacles in a superintelligent machine-run city. The trash containers were labeled with signs that looked exactly like the signs used to indicate the presence of humans.

Sending spam to the moon in the meme language of old Earth. The alien life living in the oceans of Europa received many trillion petabytes of junk mail, and to this day, the native life forms are still revolting against the spam.

I collected a few more, which you can read by becoming a supporter of AI Weirdness. Or become a free subscriber to get new AI Weirdness posts in your inbox!

#gpt-3 #april fools #pranks #neural networks #surrealist art #performance art

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