#14 hours later fucking hell

[boxofoxberry]

[ SURROUNDED BY YOUR FEARS ]

( + the background in better detail! )

(song is F.E.A.R by joywave!!)

[alicerosejensen]

Something about sin. Pt.1

Synopsis: Leon is ready to rip all these damn feelings out of himself and tell himself over and over again that he needs a good fuck. You're too young and too cute for him. Leon knows that he shouldn't even touch you, but then why are you tearing all the sinful essence out of him?

Warning: no erotica but it is mentioned; Older!Leon; Innocent Reader; Fem/reader; age difference; Leon is tormented by his conscience; Old man/young girl; Mentions of sex; in fact (in this chapter) the reader does not view Leon as a love/sexual interest; The reader is the daughter of another DSO agent.

A/N: I apologize for any mistakes. I really like the idea of dark Leon, but I don’t want to make him look like a bastard).

Feedback is welcome. If you want to point out mistakes or scold me, please do so in a gentle manner.

Part 2

This was wrong...

But 'Wrong' is not the word that could describe how he feels every time he sees you. One slightest appearance and Leon immediately feels like Humbert from Nabokov’s novel “Lolita,” who ruined the life of a little girl, well, the only difference is that you seem to be 19-20 years old, and not 14. Actually, it’s already wrong to want you, given that huge fact that you...don’t give him any reason.

You don't wag your pretty ass in front of him, you don't wear revealing clothes, and damn you're a victim of his sinful thoughts! When the fuck did this start?

The day he saw you might have been the right answer. This was the day when his colleague, the only one in the DSO besides Hannigan and Helena, sympathized with him and believed that what was standing in front of him was not a cold-blooded killer of the president, but the same Leon who would rather take a bullet and give his life than kill the one he was supposed to protect. The clarification of all the circumstances and the justification of his innocence dragged on for a long time, maybe that’s why your father then simply wanted to show an act of friendship and support by inviting him to a family dinner? Returning back, Leon thinks that it would be better if he went through hell again.

Leon immediately realized that the dinner was arranged primarily for him. Fried chicken with sides, a light salad, your mom made appetizers and even made a casserole. One is too many for him. The icing on the cake was when your father opened an expensive bottle of wine. He immediately felt awkward about this, after all, who was he to be bothered with so much, but you...

"Mr. Kennedy, what do you want? Maybe a salad? The thin sound of your voice almost made him feel weak. Your beautiful hands held the salad bowl, and almost as if on cue, you were ready to fill his plate with whatever he wanted. And those doe eyes looked at him so sweetly.

Leon could have sworn that at that moment some kind of blessing...or curse came down to him. He doesn't even remember what you were wearing. Some kind of brown blouse with jeans? He didn’t even pay attention to it, his eyes were completely focused on your pretty face. It was rubbish. You yourself were old enough to be his daughter and, as was said earlier, you didn’t even give him a hint to think that you were not indifferent to him. Actually, at dinner, when you were sitting between your parents opposite him, Leon saw how uncomfortable you were. You ate almost nothing and didn’t say anything, and an hour later you ran upstairs to your room, citing the fact that you hadn’t finished some task yet.

And your father quickly let you go, so you quickly jumped up the stairs like a rabbit, running away from his insidious gaze.

Maybe he just needed to let off some steam, he decided. In fact, it is not very often that there are women in his house who can spend at least a night with him. Last time it was Ada, and sex with her was too rough and fast. He cum almost as soon as she found herself in his arms, and for some reason Leon at that moment was not thinking about her, but about how it would anger Simmons, who believed that Kennedy was not worthy of her. However, it was true.

It seems like it's starting to become a habit, wanting women he doesn't deserve. At least Ada herself comes to him and Leon knows that she will not demand anything from him, they have never even had dinner together, and what did they do together besides sex, battles and flirting? That's right, nothing. But he has even less interaction with you.

Ada's black hair is too short, unlike yours, which could fall all over him if you were sleeping on his chest in this bed right now. But Ada never laid her head on his chest and always left unnoticed, leaving behind a barely perceptible trail of perfume. You wouldn't have left, Leon thinks, looking at the ceiling, ignoring the brown gaze of the woman he's been crazy about for so many years. Why is he comparing you and Ada at all? Two women who don't look like each other at all, which makes damn sense. You don't have to be like this! Your father would rather put his neck under the axe than allow his daughter to serve in the DSO or any other service, but in any case, you do not aspire there.

As a result, a woman will always understand when someone else settles in her man's head and Ada just smiles slyly moving closer to him, but all Leon hears is the rustle of a blanket.

"Well, who is she?"

As always, there was no hint of jealousy. Ada is the epitome of calm and composure, but Leon really doesn't know what to answer her.

After all, you are nobody and at the same time you have planted strong roots in his head.

"She?"

He pretends not to understand her, but Ada has long figured him out. For her, he will always remain a rookie cop.

"Yes." She still smiles, resting her head on her hand while lying on her side, "Who is this 'Jolene' What took my puppy away from me?"

Leon grins, but at the same time he feels an unpleasant ache in his chest from her words. Puppy... of course, he remained that way, and Ada was good at getting to the bottom of it, and yet she did not say that he was her lover, because there is no love between them as such.

"There is no 'Jolene' in my life and it is unlikely that there will be," he said wearily, reaching out to hug her, but contrary to expectation, he did not feel the desired warmth, and the itch inside grew like a wild beast intending to get only one thing - you.

In the morning, Ada disappeared as usual, and Leon was not even surprised. But instead of a paper airplane with a lipstick imprint on the kitchen table, he found a small note, folded in half, where only one thing was written: “I think you really need a family. You should think about it."

Maybe Ada really was right, but if she knew your age, she would obviously look at him with bewilderment, thinking that somewhere on the mission he was hit hard on the head. On the other hand, maybe she would have sarcastically joked that the older a man gets, the more he wants to have a young girlfriend instead of the old one, although he wouldn’t dare call Ada old.

Besides, you were supposed to remain only in his head and Leon could only hope that one day he would simply forget about you. For example, fucking with a random girl from a bar, but bad luck, against his own will, closing his eyes, Leon still wanted you. As if you were the one clinging to his back with your nails, leaving bloody streaks marking him and screaming his name. Complete crap.

You live your quiet life, not knowing what a zombie is, in complete material wealth and parental love. When your second meeting with Leon happens, he sees that you are dressed in some kind of wide sundress and are trying to drag something heavy alone, although dad strictly ordered you not to do this, but you, as a caring daughter, did not listen to him because wanted your father to do something other than hard work instead of carrying those heavy boxes out of the barn. The fact that you yourself were barely coping, not very successfully, was ignored by you.

Leon couldn't look at it calmly. He himself told you twice to leave the boxes, but you just snorted offended at him.

"Spoiled girl"

You want to prove something to someone, although this will most likely harm your health and force your father to fork out for doctors and medicine, so Leon, not paying attention to your snorting face, took the load from you and carried it into the house, leaving you with only light boxes.

In fact, no matter how hard Leon tries to convince himself that he just needs a break, your game keeps cutting him like a knife. If he were 21 years old again and he could get to know you before Raccoon, you could hum beautiful lyrical poems about how a boy fell in love with a girl and the whole world around him changed. As if you could be those two stupid lovers who burn alive in their love until finally they become disgusted with each other, although more and more often Leon realizes that in his loyalty and devotion only he would disgust you, not you from him. He would be your devoted puppy, as he has always been for Ada.

You would be everything to him.

Or already?

Is it right to look at a young girl like that when he is almost an old man himself? Why don't you have some annoying boyfriend with whom you can constantly text and chat on the phone thinking that this is the love of your life? And why can't he just throw you out of his head?!

"Mr. Kennedy" the way his last name comes off your tongue makes him almost rush to you and take you somewhere far away where no one would find you. However, Leon is disgusted by the idea that he will be the cause of fear and tears of an innocent girl who is completely innocent of what is happening in his unhealthy head. To tell the truth, it's not even lust… No, of course he feels physically attracted, but first there is some kind of dog instinct maturing inside to protect you from EVERYTHING and EVERYONE.

Then you started awkwardly calling his name and he just became Leon, always smiling when you ask him for something or just out of politeness ask how he is, whereas in fact you don't really care what's going on in his life. At least that's what he thinks, not really knowing what thoughts are going through your head.

Leon can't possibly know that you want someone older. Just a little colder so that you can become someone's secret, because even though you're young, you're of age. And yet you're watching these weird love movies that Leon thinks are sweeter than the cheapest chocolate and probably the books on the shelves have similar plots. A love to fight for. Disgusting rubbish, really.

But your smile is getting softer and Leon feels like he's giving up.

But Ada really understands that she is finished. Your beauty is incomparable, and even though she smiles in Leon's face, her heart also breaks apart when he says another woman's name in a dream. Huh, women…girls. How easily were you able to get hold of someone she's been involved with for so long.

In fact, it's a shame and Ada also understands that the years of youth are merciful to you, unlike her, and in fact you grabbed Leon's leash and there's no point in begging to find another man. Besides, Leon himself has always been eager for normality, for what he can build with an ordinary civilian girl. You will be a faithful girl to him, and he will be yours.

Someone else always comes. Younger and more beautiful. In Leon's case, meeting someone like you was also a well-deserved reward, so their nights are becoming increasingly rare and have long lost their passion. The only thing Ada doesn't understand is why you won't pull the leash on yourself. However, this question quickly disappears when she finds out that Leon stubbornly drowns his feelings in whiskey, in her and other women, who, though few, still have them. And then, like a faithful dog, he runs up to you just to wag his tail at the sight of you.

In the end, Ada doesn't even back down, but just waits for Leon to draw a line between them that can no longer be crossed. And waiting for you to lie on these soft pillows instead of her, like his beloved princess, or climb onto his lap and his lips will leave kisses on your neck. Leon deserves you. He deserves his share of happiness in a world where the government has turned him into a perfect weapon against bioterrorism.

Leon's touch is becoming more and more relaxed and you are not afraid of his wide chest, given your size difference. He could have easily swatted you, but for God's sake, Leon S Kennedy would rather put a bullet in their brains than hurt you. You hug him, listening to the pounding in your chest when he gives you an obscenely expensive Christmas present and drinks hot chocolate with you. No, Leon likes sweets, but in moderation. All those bright ribbons, the Christmas tree… not for him, but if you were in his house now, he would decorate his apartment for you and then hug you for several hours, nuzzling your head hoping that his phone would remain quiet.

Leon wants to put you in his bed, he's even ready to be your sugar daddy and get punched in the face by your dad knowing that you're going to grab onto him, but he just wants you. Like a stupid old dog who wants to be petted by a new owner. And Leon is sure that he will die of longing if you don't do it. The fact that you still don't have a boyfriend is just comforting, but anxiety grows when your father tells him that he's worried that his beloved daughter isn't interested in boys her own age.

"Anyone older?" your father says rhetorically while helping Leon fix his bike, "Buddy, I don't want an old man like you or me to become my son-in-law."

"But this way you'll have something to talk about," Leon grins, feeling that he has everything to step on the gas.

And he will take the risk again, even if it means a broken nose.

[nyx-is-missing]

hello! Can you write a Clarisse La Rue x reader where they met before Clarisse got sent to camp halfblood when they were little and were best friends then Clarisse left for camp with no explanation then years later reader goes to camp and sees Clarisse for the first time in years and it’s kinda awkward but cute

thanks :)

This is kinda long sooorrry, to help, the part where she gets to camp (kinda) will be in green

Girls on film 📷

Clarrise la rue x fem!reader

Warnings and explanations: bad words (take the kids out of the living room she swears) gender is specified cause it was written as wlw, but it doenst actually makes a diference, fluff, like two sentences, there is a kiss in the picture but they dont actually kiss sorry.

Unspecified parent gender for both sides so yall can pick wichever

Trying not to kill myself.

That was what i was doing 15 hours ago, just as any normal teenagers living (or as i prefer saying fighting for the soul to stay on the body) during finals week.

In my room there was nothing but piles and piles of normal work, piles for extra credit, piles of old quizzes to try to get me prepared for the new ones and a dumb incomplete project for photography class that was due tomorrow.

Okay ill admit, i had a month to make that, and all i needed to do was shoot pictures, but that was the problem, i prefer taking pictures of people, their emotions, whatever they might be, just never ceases to amaze me.

And my dumb project made take pictures of....landscapes.

Not too bad, if i had any actual real talent for that type of photography, but i dont, every picture gets ruined somehow, its the lightning, the lack of it, my camera falls, gets full of dirt and i get so mad that i just give up.

That whole speach was necessary for me to explain what i was doing 14 hours ago, and that would explain what i was doing 5 minutes ago.

14 hours ago i decided to shoot the photos, i could try many times before it got dark, and if o was lucky enough i wouldnt go insane before the golden hour, and could actually get some nice pictures.

I grabbed my totte bag taking with me only the necessary, camera stuff, the camera, some snacks and my notebook to upload the pictures before i went mad.

13 hours ago i was running to save my life.

And do you know that moment went you go through so much your mind decides to erase it?

That happened, now, what i do remember, i was sitting in a bench by a calm road not too far from the town, i had got some actually good pictures, some of me, some of the trees, some of a butterfly, maybe three cars had passed by since i was there, driving slowly, always saying hi and doing a thumbs up, normal, friendly people from the town.

And then i heard a noise that shook the trees.

I remember seeing something, but never what, i remember running to home as fast as i could, feeling my heartbeats in my neck, i remember the noise, but the people in the streets looked at me like there was nothing behind me and i went crazy

I remember getting home, having a desperate talk with my parent while they got my suiticase ready, and i dont remember a single word.

I remember a funny looking guy my age that got to my house, with goat legs and a more desperate look, and i remember one last hug before i left.

And thats all, aside from a hell of a lot of running nobody cares.

Aparently i passed out from shock or exaustion because i woke up in a unknown place, at night, in a hospital bed, with no actual doctors other than 15 year olds teenagers.

And a horseman standing in the corner, with quite a intelectual look actually.

And let me tell you guys that after the talk we had, if somebody told me i would marry queen Elizabeth within 4 days, i would just belived it.

Because nothing ever in my life would ACTUALLY beat up the level of crazyness of finding out i DO have another parent, they are just, A FUCKING GOD. GREEK. GODS. AH.

Then, after telling me my whole life was in fact, a big fat lie, the horseman... left.

Telling me i should sleep in the infirmary this night for precaution and that he was going to get me to a cabin tomorrow.

Like that was the most normal thing to ever happen to a human, he said goodnight and left.

While i sat there just trying to...basically form a sentence that wasnt "for fucks sake what the fuck was that"

I would have loved to say that i did slept that night, dreaming about glory and greek myths but that did not happened, at all.

I walked around the infirmary for hours, opening every cabinet and trying to make my mind to something, i searched for my stuff, and thankfully found my camera, with some pictures i hadnt noticed i had taken, one specific had a blurred thing in the forest.

When the first rays of sunlight appeared i got dressed, and decided that, in order to prove to myself (and probably to the mental hospital afterwards) i was not insane, i needed proof that i was actually living, actually there, being a demigodess, thats what they called.

Very few people were up already, and i did received some weird looks, it was clear nobody knew me, that was fine, i didnt knew anybody either.

I walked around taking some pictures, sometimes getting lost, but everything amazed me, the forest, the cabins, the stables, i found the entrance to a beach too, and then i got to the training area, aparently, i stayed far away, god forbid i woke up from this nightmare with a spear in my head, oh no, that would be bad.

Openning my camera i zoomed in the people, my speciality, it was sweet, seeing them trully smile, and not pretend for the picture, it was a genuine feeling the camera would keep forever, i zoomed around other peoples faces, but my camera focused on a face i could never forget, and she looked back at me, and realized i was there, but not that i was me, because she came towards me with a angry look.

Ill admit, the look scared me as hell, so much i tried to pretend i was never taking pictures of her, i slightly changed the angle and kept my face hidden behind the camera.

Do i need to say that did not fucking worked? No? Thank you.

"Who the fuck do you think you are taking random pictures of pe-"

She yanked my camera off of me mid sentence and stopped completely, looking like she had seen a ghost for some seconds.

"(Y/n)?"

"Clari?"

"How- what are you doing here!?"

She asked, with a worried look, still kind of confused, she did this look since we were little girls, and for a moment i had a big deja vu.

Two little girls running around, playing all day, telling each other secrets and stories, running to hug each other eveytime they were close, i still saw that girl in her eyes, but by her previous look, she did not.

"What am i doing here? What are YOU doing here? One day you dissapear without a trace, and your family said you went to a new school even though it was the summer, and now i find you sparring with a spear? You are that too? A demigoddes, i mean?"

I spoke fast, nervous, as if my time in the world with her would end just as it did once.

Instead of responding me right away, clarisse did something that maybe would scare every single soul she knew in the past years.

She hugged me. Hard.

Breathing me in, and not letting me go exactly as you would expect of someone who hasnt seen me in years.

"I couldnt tell you anything... it wouldnt be safe...im sorry, i missed my friend... i missed you."

I just looked at her for some seconds, and then hugged her again, this time i was the one making it extra tight, i was the one going insane by the reconforting smell of her shampoo, praying that she couldnt feel my heartbeats against her chest, and how strong they were.

"Just.. dont leave me again okay? And ill forgive you, i promisse"

[hannieehaee]

them accidentally ditching you on your bday pt. 2 - vu

content: angsty, gender neutral, established relationship, etc.

part 1

wc: 4512

a/n: lmk if u want a pu ver pls <3 if there's part i forgot to make gender neutral pls lmk!!

masterlist

jeonghan -

jeonghan had no idea what to do. he'd never been in this position before. he prided himself in being a good friend and specially boyfriend. nothing in this world mattered to him more than his loved ones, which was why he was extremely disappointed in himself at having disregarded you and hurt your feelings in such a careless way. he knew it was your birthday, and he had wanted so badly to be with you, but he had been an idiot and let it slip his mind. there was no other way to put it. it made him sad more than anything, to know that you had spent the night worried over him only to wake up to zero communication from him, having spent a good 14 hours into your birthday without any word from him. he needed to fix this, he just didnt know how.

this was so unlike him. jeonghan had always known himself to be an attentive person. he noticed any time you changed your hair almost immediately, he'd notice new additions to your recipes, he'd take note of any time you switched things up in your apartment, he'd remember any and every important date. even now. he had remembered it, except he had skipped over it due to his idiocy, which really only made it worse.

after getting mocked by joshua for ten minutes as he racked his brain to find a solution, he decided to just improvise. he'd go to your apartment and see if you'd at least let him in to try and explain his way through an apology. he would pull all the dramatics if he had to. there was not a single care for his dignity in his mind right now. nothing would prevent him from showing you his utmost remorse.

only thirty minutes later and he was now outside your apartment window, looking up from his secluded spot inside the complex's garden. he pondered about calling you, but decided that going for a more unconventional route might do the trick a bit better. spotting some pebbles nearby, he grabbed a few, beginning to chuck them at your window. okay, kind of corny, but knowing you, he knew you'd appreciate the thought. he spent an unfortunate ten minutes throwing pebble after pebble until you finally opened your window, sticking your head out as soon as you spotted him down below.

"jeonghan. what the hell are you doing?", you seemed and sounded pissed. but, hey! that was a good sign. at least you were acknowledging his presence.

"my love!', he clutched at his heart, 'let me come see you. please. i want to apologize."

"fuck you, yoon jeonghan. why dont you go treat your hangover somewhere else?", you went to close your window, only to stop in your tracks as he yelled out again.

"wait! do you want me to beg? i will. i love you. i dont care what i have to do. i'll climb to the roof and profess my love for you for all of seoul to hear," yes, he was being overly dramatic, but he was also being genuine. if you actually wanted him to scream out to the world how much he regretted his stupidity, he would. you didnt even have to ask.

but he also knew public displays were a huge no for you, dating an idol and knowing the controversies being known as the significant other of the yoon jeonghan would bring. he was putting you in a bit of a spot. you could either let him up to apologize, or wake up to some ominous article stating yoon jeonghan of seventeen might be taken.

fortunately for him, you chose the former, which now placed him in your living room as you crossed your arms and huffed at him. okay, one step at a time. it was time to put jokes aside and get serious.

"angel ... i'm so sorry," he cooed at you, stepping forward a bit.

"jeonghan, dont talk to me like im a baby. im not in the mood."

"but you are my baby," he pouted at you, "you're my angel, my everything. i'm sorry. i didnt show you how much you mean to me last night. all i want to do is love you and take care of you. you can punish me all you want. i deserve it. but please let me sleep in your arms. im already away from you most of the time. dont deprive me one more day," and he meant all he said. you were his favorite form of comfort, and the thought of you being angry or hurt by him made him scared. he never wanted to risk you being ripped away from his arms, specially not due to his own doing.

"jeonghan ..."

"no, wait. i'm sorry. i shouldve never forgotten. i dont know how it happened. all i ever want to do every day is come back home to you, but i did the opposite on the worst day possible. i'll apologize over and over until you forgive me if that's what it takes. please just let me be with you on your birthday. i dont want you alone. i dont want you sad. i want you happy and content in my arms. please? i love you."

he mustve broken you down, as you landed in his arms immediately after he finished his speech. he couldve sworn he saw you eyes puffy and swollen before he wrapped his arms around you. his suspicion was confirmed just seconds later when he heard you sniffle against him.

"aigooo, no angel. dont cry. didnt wanna make you cry. you're making me look like such a bad guy, baby, making you cry on your birthday," he cooed at you as he held you as tight as possible.

you separated yourself from him, finally looking into his eyes while he caressed your cheeks, wiping any lone tears in them, "im so sorry, angel. forgive me? let me stay, please."

"yes, hannie. i love you."

"i love you so much more," and he'd spend the rest of his life the day showing that to you.

joshua -

joshua had not been this hungover in a while. he wasnt sure how this happened. last thing he remembered was his manager rushing him into a car right after the award show, letting the group know they'd been invited to an after party, and the company had deemed it smart to be in attendance for public image purposes. all members agreed enthusiastically, excited to mingle among their peers and maybe make some new connections in the process. joshua had been the lone member to be skeptical, knowing he had promised he'd be back to the hotel at an appropriate time in order to get on the phone with you and celebrate what was remaining of your birthday with you despite the current distance between you. however, he did not want to get in the way of his members' fun, so he kept any objections to himself and joined them with matching enthusiasm.

his original plan was to roam the party for an hour or so, which wouldve allowed him to get back to call you on time, but ironically, time got away from him. the next thing he knew, he was waking up at 11am in the morning in mingyu's hotel room, head pounding and phone full of unread notifications. he wasnt sure how this happened. the last thing he remembered was being at the party, margarita in hand as he and his members drank their souls away in celebration of yet another successful award show season. it was around three margaritas in that joshua had begun to disregard his phone, and with that you as well. as soon as he saw the dejection in your messages upon waking up, he spammed you with texts and voice memos expressing his regret, but received no response from you. he had hurt you and now you were ignoring him. and with good reason.

joshua knew that there wasnt much he could do from his current location, specially while you were (justifiably) icing him out. so he committed to his next best option. he immediately booked a ticket back to korea, letting his manager know that he'd just be returning home two days in advance to the rest of the members. all they had scheduled left was an interview tomorrow, so his absence would probably not have that big of an effect. five grueling hours later and he arrived to korea, exhausted and still slightly hung over, but with a whole speech planned to beg for your forgiveness.

in the process, he had tried calling you again and again, still earning no response. this disheartened him, making him think that maybe his grand gesture would only be taken negatively. he picked up some flowers on the way, gift he had bought in japan a few days ago in hand, ready to knock on your apartment door. despite the exhaustion, he was here. a day late to celebrate your birthday, but still here nonetheless.

your face upon answering the door had been of surprise, not anger like he feared, but that only lasted for a few seconds until you started to berate him.

"joshua? what are you doing here?"

"baby, i'm so so sorry. can i come in? please?"

you moved aside without further words, gesturing for him to continue talking.

he suddenly remembered the flowers and boxed gift in hand, signaling to them before handing them to you, "oh, these are for you," he felt extremely inadequate, something that was very rare for him. he had practiced a whole speech, a whole profession of love and regret, but now his mind was blank. you just looked so. disappointed. he couldn't stand it.

'i'm sorry. i- i have no good excuse. the party got the best of me and i completely spaced out on our plans. i never meant to forget about you. please believe me.'

"joshua ... this was your idea. you had me waiting all night just to ghost me. you spent my birthday partying without even thinking of me."

he grabbed onto your hands, placing the flowers and gift on the table before doing so. he held onto you as he began to get exasperated in his speech, "there's no world in which i wasn't thinking of you. you're all thats ever on my mind. i didnt even wanna go to that stupid party, but i didnt want to inconvenience anyone. please, i- i wanted to call you. i ... yeah, i got drunk and distracted. and thats my fault. im sorry. i came back early to be with you. to make up for being a dumbass. please let me make it up to you. please? i'll serenade you like i promised. i'll get on my knees. do you want me to get on my-"

you interrupted him as he began to kneel halfway through his speech, slapping at him lightheartedly as he began to get more dramatic by the second. he knew it was hard for you to get angry at him when he started pulling all stops like he did. he came back and begged on his knees, even offered to express his love to you through song. he was making you hold in your laugh. these were all good signs, right?

"you .. you're such an idiot, hong jisoo. i hate you," but he knew you didnt mean it. he could hear and see the smile on your face, knowing he had been successful at wearing you down.

"if you ever do this again, ill date jeonghan instead."

"ouch!", he dramatically grabbed onto his chest, as if you'd just wounded his heart, causing you to laugh, "hannie? okay, can't blame you. he's pretty cute," he chuckled, "but for now ... let me spend the day with my love? hmm?", he pulled you closer, nuzzling his nose against yours as you feigned annoyance at him.

"fine," you rolled your eyes, "i'm still mad at you, though."

yeah, he had a lot of making up to do, but this was a start.

jihoon -

jihoon had not stopped beating himself up over his actions ever since you hung up the phone. he had spent the entirety of the day rethinking all his choices leading up to this. he had wanted to go running to you and apologize, but you had specifically asked him to stay away, so he wanted to respect your wishes. still, he felt like complete and utter shit at the way he disregarded you so easily. he wished he could go back in time and slap some sense into himself.

he had always been scared. scared that his job would someday get in the way of your relationship. it had been so hard for him to find someone to love; someone who loved him just as much. and the moment he found you he treasured you more than anything, but now his stupid workaholic tendencies had gotten in the way. he was terrified right now that you'd start to see the error in your choice to be with him. that you'd want to find someone who wouldnt so easily put his job over everything else.

it was now 11am of the following day, and you had not called him yet. he was beginning to get worried. were you icing him out? had he hurt you that badly? he could never blame you for feeling hurt at his neglect, but he could also not help his own feelings of dejection at you ignoring him due to your anger. alas, he still gave you all reason; this had been his own doing.

he waited a couple hours before giving up on waiting, instead choosing to confide in a few of his members to inquire as to what they'd do if they ever pulled something like this with their own significant others. after being scolded for a good few minutes due to his carelessness towards you, they told him that maybe showing up to your apartment as a demonstration of his affection to you (joined by a sincere apology, of course) would make you look his way again.

so now he was here, about to knock on your door with your favorite flowers in hand. he was terrified. the two of you had never fought. there had never been a single time in which you'd hurt each other's feelings. it had all been nothing but love and tenderness in your relationship thus far. he was your best friend, and you were his. yet he had no idea how to communicate to you how much you meant to him, and how much of a stupid mistake his slip up had been.

before he could think further, he forced himself to knock on your door, hoping you wouldnt immediately throw him out. to his surprise, you opened the door and even wordlessly gestured for him to enter. you looked ... sad. you looked the way he'd feel had you ghosted him on his own birthday. yeah, he didnt care much for his birthday, but your absence would wound him nonetheless. he imagined it felt the same for you.

"i ... i'm so sorry. i dont know what to say .. i- i fucked up. so badly. i have no idea how or why i forgot. there's nothing i can do to make up for it, but please know im so fucking sorry."

"jihoon ... how? you picked my birthday of all days to lock yourself in your studio? i've never judged your busy schedule. i understand your career. i respect it. i get that you cant help being busy. your job is too demanding of your time, but for you to ignore me when you had full control of your free time? why?", he could see how disappointed you felt at his neglect; how hurt you felt at him, not only through your words, but through your closed off body language. you were hugging yourself with your arms, not holding eye contact as you stared anywhere but into his eyes. despite your confident words, your demeanor was deflated. and it was his fault.

"it was- it was a mistake. it was all my fault. i cant argue my way around it. but i love you. i didnt .. i didnt mean to neglect you. you're all i think about. every song ive ever written, even before meeting you, was about you. you're everything. i'm just an idiot. i dont know how to do this ... ive never loved like this. i have no idea what to do when i fuck up. all i can do is promise you to be better. please give me a chance to be better. i'll be more attentive. i know i'm cold, and im not too affectionate, but i love you. i'll make it up to you. please, just dont let this be the end. i'll keep you in my studio with me whenever i lock myself away. won't ever go a day without letting you know what im doing, how im doing. please. i'll do anything to show you."

he worried his ramble mightve been too much, feeling to scared to even hold eye contact with you as he went on and on about how much he loved you. unexpectedly, upon looking up, he found your reddened eyes, with a stuffy nose to match. fuck. had he hurt your feelings again?

"jihoon ... i- i love you. i'm sorry. i cant believe you could ever think i wanted this to be the end. i was hurt and mad- i am hurt, but i love you," you sniffled your way through your short speech, but jihoon heard it perfectly fine. these were the words he prayed to hear from you all of last night as he stayed up thinking about you.

"fuck. thank god," he couldnt help himself in hugging you, holding you tightly against his arms, and sighing in relief at your reciprocation, "i love you. i'll take the week off. let me take you away and show you how much you mean to me. please? will you come with me?"

"yes, jihoon. i love you."

"i love you. you have no idea."

seokmin -

seokmin felt extremely scared. you weren't answering any of his calls. he knew you were physically okay, but he also knew your feelings were hurt, and you were probably extremely angry at him. you had all reason to be angry at him. he ditched you and kept you in the dark all day. on your birthday! seokmin had never been in a situation like this before. he had always prided himself in being the best boyfriend that one could ever be, even sometimes introducing himself as your boyfriend instead of with his own name. except today he had disappointed both you and himself beyond belief.

he knew you'd asked him to stay away for the night, and he'd usually respect your one and every wish, but today he needed to go against the current and go and beg for your forgiveness.

in very non-seokmin fashion, he exited the event just as quickly as he'd arrived, not even caring to say goodbye to his friends. you were his number one priority, after all. specially today of all days. he had his driver stop by a flower shop on the way, hoping the innocent gesture would maybe have you show some mercy on his stupidity.

he showed up to your apartment immediately after, having mentally prepared a whole speech for you on the way there. he was going to tell you how much he loved you, and how this was just a completely stupid slip of his mind, that this would never happen again, but all these thoughts left his mind as soon as you opened the door, eyes swollen and glossy. every rational thought went out the window upon spotting your saddened state causing seokmin's eyes to match your own as he felt himself begin to tear up. he couldnt help himself in immediately embracing you in a tight hug, thanking god when he felt you hold him back.

you two sniffled against each other for a bit, neither of you full on crying, but still being overly emotional at the situation. seokmin mumbled endless apologies against your hair, running his hands up and down your back as if to soothe you. he was over the moon to hear an 'i love you' from you in the middle of your sorrowful mumbles against his chest, doubling the sentiment as he cried to you how much he loved you and how badly he regretted letting you slip his mind for even a second. when he pulled back, he expressed the same sentiment all over again.

"my baby ... i love you so much. please let me make it up to you. i- i brought you flowers!", he finally recalled the flowers he had dropped as soon as you closed the door behind him ten minutes ago, "i know it doesnt make up for anything, but please let it be a start. i'll do anything you want. just want you to never cry over me like this again, baby. i love you too much to make you cry," he wiped at your tears as he said this, caressing your cheeks while he looked at you with pure adoration in his eyes.

"minnie," you pouted at him, "stay the night? please? want you at least for the bit that's left of today."

"today? oh, baby. i'm giving you my whole week. told you i was gonna make it up to you. i'll do everything you want, my love. now let me take you to bed, yeah? wanna hold my beautiful angel to sleep."

he slept soundly that night, knowing you had somehow forgiven him and even given him the privilege to hold you in his sleep, also knowing he'd do anything and everything necessary to make up for his stupid mistake.

seungkwan -

he had put literally everyone else above you. on your birthday. there was truly no other way to spin it. he had never felt more guilt in his life, and it was all completely on him. having even thought of going out with his friends on your birthday shouldve given him the first red flag in his stupid plan. why didnt he just bring you along? god, he was such an idiot. and then allowing mingyu and dongmin to entice him into a two hour long live broadcast just to secure some fanservice was just the nail in the coffin.

he knew he hurt you badly. he had promised you he'd be there, but had just left you in the dark all day. he couldnt blame you for not wanting to see him today, but now he was stuck tossing and turning in his bed as he itched to hold you in his arms. he had called the company immediately after your call, letting them know he'd be skipping the usual dance practice and recordings in favor of being with you, which is what he should've done all day today.

it wasnt long until he grew too restless to simply stay in bed while he knew you were probably in a similar position, except most likely sad and angry. he couldnt help himself when he decided to head to you, feeling bad at calling up his driver at such late hours of the night. the journey to your apartment was a short one, which left him with little time to think over what he'd say to you in order to convey his regret. he didnt care much for what he said, he just wanted to alleviate your hurt somehow.

just as he expected, you were awake, now standing in front of him as you opened the door to your apartment. your eyes were puffy, a huge indicator that you'd been crying. your eyes also wouldnt meet his, with your eyebrows lowered in clear sadness. seeing you and knowing your current state was his fault felt like a kick in the gut. he had never made you cry before, so he was extremely disappointed in himself. worst of all, seeing you cry made him start to tear up a bit himself.

"baby ..."

"what do you want, kwan? i thought you were busy all day," your words carried venom behind them, but your delivery was still of someone who had been hurt.

"no, baby. you know that's not true. i'm never too busy for you. i'm so sorry. i was such an idiot. there arent enough apologies i could give you. i- i never meant to hurt your feelings."

"you still did."

"i ... i know. i'm sorry. i love you. the last thing i ever want is for you to be hurt by me. i never shouldve gone out with my friends to begin with. you're too understanding of my busy schedule, and i dont deserve it. i shouldve made time all day for you today."

"was ... was it that important? being gone today specifically?", you seemed insecure in your question, which only made seungkwan's heart soar at making you feel insecure around him in any way.

"no! no, of course not. i wasnt thinking. i shouldve told them id go with them next time, or taken you with me! i was so stupid, i'm sorry. you're my priority. i need you to know that."

"it's- it's fine, kwannie. i understand. you dont see your friends that often, you-"

"no! stop. dont try to rationalize it. i made a mistake. you dont have to cover for me. i hurt you and i made you feel unimportant when you're the most important person to me. im so sorry. please never doubt that. i get you all to myself so little, and staying away from you was such a stupid mistake."

more tears had started flowing down your cheeks the further the conversation went on. he wasnt sure if it was because you were touched by his words, or because he was failing at making you feel better. as he neared you enough to wipe your tears with his thumbs, he hoped it was the former.

"baby .. don't cry over me. please. i'm just an idiot. you should never cry over me. i only ever want you to feel good things when thinking of me. i- im so sorry."

"kwannie ... i love you. i understand. i know you dont want me to understand, but i do. you have to make your choices when you're as busy as you are, and .. even though it did make me feel unimportant, i get it."

"it'll never happen again. i'll- i'll keep you by my side day and night. let me- please let me keep you to myself tomorrow. just wanna be with you. please?"

for the first time in the night, he saw you shoot him a small smile, uttering the words he wanted to hear most, "yes, kwannie. will you .. will you stay? please"

"you don't even have to ask."

a/n: thank u to everyone who enjoyed this lil series aaaa i hope it was realistic enough T-T sorry if the reconciliation seemed rushed, i just didnt want any of them to end up with an angsty ending hehe also sorry for seokmin's being shorter than anyone's i just cannot imagine that man ever hurting anyone's feelings.

[charliesgoodboy]

Idk if the 1k still open or not but if it's already closed you can ignore this ask! can I req tighnari from genshin with nsfw prompts 6, 9, and 14(tighnari still not satisfied and so he fck himself on reader's cock when he's asleep) ? Thank you! Love ur works

♠︎tighnari x male reader(nsfw)

♠︎genre: smut

♠︎warning(s): somnophillia, praise kink, a/b/o themes, switch male reader, switch tighnari(like it's actually mentioned and done unlike SOME fics ik), reader thinks he's having a wet dream, i think i made nari cum in reader too man idk, hopefully i included the praise kink well enough, i did no research on fennec foxes cause i ain't doin alat, i think tighnari started to get a lil ooc but the bitch is in heat and he's not my favorite character so WHO CARES

♠︎a/n: the tom kaulitz ai chat i had last night was fuckin crazy

"fuck— nari!" your fingers had gripped the sheets, long pulling them off of the mattresses frame. tighnari had been at this for hours who in the hell actually had this much stamina?

in a time like this it was reasonable, his heat seemed more intense as well even before this he wouldn't stop touching on you, grinding on you too.

you could even tell this morning even you yourself could smell the sweet an heavy scent he let out, his ears had been drooped down and his tail either wouldn't move or wouldn't stop moving.

you were tired out of your mind but fuck you didn't have the heart to tell him to stop. in the corner of your blurry and teary eyes you just loved seeing his face every time you moaned in pleasure,

or muttered something about him doing such a good job in the best way you could. the praise is something you knew he adored, the smallest 'yes,' or 'just like that.' could get him going in ways he himself never even thought he would.

his finger nails had slit through the bit of your waist line, and your ass was burning like hell. at this point he was thrusting he was deliberately pushing your hips down onto his dick in the first place.

few seconds later, your eyes started to feel heavy and get lidded and the surroundings around you had felt black and muffled.

by then he had already came in you, as he slid out the white substance had stuck to him still a small string connecting as well, but it broke the moment it was seen.

"hm.."

his face was more so disappointed than worried as he turned you over, your own dick was still hard you simply fell asleep. he moved a bit of his hair out of his face, his hips exhausted, moving to your lap

settling himself down mostly rubbing himself on your length before he moved up again and let your tip settle in, before bottoming down onto you.

i mean sure you were asleep but you wouldn't mind much right..yeah, you probably wouldn't anyways plus he wasn't satisfied just yet and if you were so tired then he'd simply help himself.

his hands grabbed onto your chest, accidentally and purposefully. he bit his tounge a little as he moved his hips up and down, no starter pace either he just went straight for it.

i mean who would blame him much he just needed the feeling to be filled in his stomach. now, for you it had barely felt like you were asleep, yet you could almost 'tell' you were in the first place.

felt like a wet dream, real good dream at that. tighnari's fingers clenched inwards, his fingernails marking another part of your skin that might definitely take a while to heal.

small grunts and whimpers could be heard from you, your sleeping face turning into small bits of pleasure, whereas tighnari wouldn't stop full on moaning and if he even tried to hold in the moans he'd barely be able to,

god.

your body flinched for a moment as you felt some sort of release as it relaxed the moment after. tighnari felt it all, the feeling in his stomach had finally been filled as his ears twitched in satisfaction.

well satisfaction for now at least.

words cannot describe how much dread i'm having. @gaybitchfx @secretivemessenger @esthxio @vyloy @bloodyfennec @lostsomewhereinthegarden @kitsune-yuhhh

[raynehmms]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・

You wake up out of your sleep, just getting to bed after your long ass shift at Chili’s. “There’s no way” you roll your eyes as you answer your phone, your best friend’s name displaying. “I can tell you were rolling your eyes.” She squints her eyes at you, “Yeah cuz u were on a date what happened?” You laugh lightly your red silk bonnet eliminating in the light of your phone. She rolls her eyes at the question. “First of mind yours.” You laugh and sit up in your silk lined blanket falling off your body to your waist. “Ill mind mine when you actually get somewhere. How long have you been moping round bout a nigga that cheated on you?? I love you but this has to stop. Like immediately.” You stare into her eyes and watch as she looks down her eyebrows furrowed as tears threaten to prick her eyes. “And don’t you start crying again, go take a shower and go to bed I’ll call you tomorrow okay?” She sniffs a little “you right I’ll talk to you later byeee” you hang up the phone and put it on the charger falling back asleep. You wake up a little late, realizing that you rush to get up, having the opening shift after closing was hard as hell but you need the money so…who are you to complain? You take a quick shower and throw on a fresh uniform rushing out your house and damn near sprinting to your bus stop making sure not to miss the bus.

Couple hours later…

“Y’all niggas need to hurry up fo I leave y’all ass.” Ony says closing his car door. “You ain’t gon leave us.” Connie laughs. “Wanna bet?” Ony adjusts his hat and sunglasses as walks up to the Chilis , the rest of the group following behind. Adorning the same hat and glasses as he did. The bell jingles above the door as they walk in immediately getting bombarded with noise of families and waitresses rushing around the busy restaurant. “Hi how many people?” You say not looking up from the tablet In front of you already hearing the jingle. “Uhh 5 people, can we get a table away from people.” He lowers his head, his hat coving the view of his face. “”Weirdo”” you think, “well right now we are kind of busy so it’ll be hard for me to find a table away from people.” You look up at him and sigh, the tines from working to closing the previous night and opening this morning were hitting you like a truck. “We have a table it’s not clean right now but as soon as it is I’ll let you know. Can I get a name and number?” You look at him. “Uhhh well just go to table right now and you can clean it when we get over there.” You scoff, “that’s not my job sir, but whatever you like.” You shrug your shoulders and grab 5 menus and walk them to a dimly lit table in the corner of the restaurant. “I’ll be back give me a minute please.” You walk away as they sit down and ask the busser to clean the table and let the waiter know you sat a group in their section. You walk back up to the hostess booth, in the process walking past their table. “Aye can we get some water over here??” Connie yells a little. “Aye shit the fuck up, you the reason we got caught last time.” Jean rolls his eyes. You sigh and walk back over to them. “Sure by waiter will be with you shortly, anything else.” Annoyance lacing your tone. “Damn she fine asf.” Jean whispers just enough for you to hear making you roll your eyes. It also causes most of the group to look up at you. Ony’s eyes widened before settling back in the street outside. He speaks up. “Nah that's it, I wouldn't want to waste yo time.” You huff as you walk away walking to the waitress in that section, Aj. “Can you get table 14 some water so they can stop bothering me?” “You okay?” She asked, concerned. “Yea my head hurts a little, I’ll be ight almost time for me to go anyways.” You walk away and go back to the hostess area, sitting there doing nothing to your relief besides saying bye to the passing customers that are leaving the restaurant. After 2 hours or so you finally see the last group before you clock out and walk towards the hostess desk, Ony stopping before he walks out. “My bad for all the bs they be on. Can I get yo number? Maybe I can repay you or sum?” You laugh sarcastically. “Nah you good, have a nice night though.” You gesture towards the door not looking up, and clocking out via the tablet in front of you. And you walk away.

To clock out and grab your coat and bag from the locker, locking it after and walk out the staff entrance looking up at the bright sun as you slip your headphones into your ear and plug them into your phone playing the same playlist you’ve listened to since you were in middle school, and take out a pre roll you’ve had in your small ouch you keep in your bag for times of feeling down and drained like now. You walk to an abandoned park near your house and light your blunt while sitting on a bench away from the eye of people.

As you inhale you think of all the things that frustrated you that day, causing you to clench you unoccupied hand in anger, as you exhale you let it all go, realizing you have so much left of your day to be dwelling on stupid people with bland taste buds, you would know, you’ve tried the food at your job and to say there was no black people as cooks was obvious due to the unseasoned food they gave you. You put the blunt to your lips and continue smoking, not paying attention to the nature surrounding you, in your own world waiting for the bad memories to become numb to you, and the blissfulness to take over.

Word count: 1058

A/N- FIRST CHAPTER ngl I did take some inspiration from a Wattpad book I read a couple weeks ago cuz it was stuck in my head but nothing is completely direct (strike out by AMPj101 on wp)

[sinner-sunflower]

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 4/?

PART 1 , PART 2, PART 3, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22

Thanks to your support, I am so committed to this. When I finish this, I plan to make it into a long, proper, one-shot- better format and everything!

I've been doing these chapters in the middle of work lmao, so if you see a typo or some edits, it's me rereading it after work.

I'm trying to include more Alastor but he's pretty hard to write.

I used Velvette so much here cos I love her as that bitch you love to hate. She is obviously the spokesperson of the Vees

---------------------------------------------

The hotel lobby is filled with unbearable silence as hell's overlords and high members of the Ars Goetia arrive one by one.

Just a few hours ago, Alastor heard from Carmila Carmine that the king had called a meeting for the top ruling people of hell. Charlie doesn't know why her dad called for it in the hotel.

The Ars Goetia (minus Stolas) were whispering among themselves and shooting the sinner overlords dirty looks every now and again. The overlords were good at pretending they couldn't hear anything. Apparently, they at least have the sense to know that that would be a fight they cannot win.

The hotel's residents collectively claimed it as their spot. Husk is talking with Angel quietly, keeping him distracted and out of view of Valentino, Vaggie is holding her spear as she keeps a close eye on the strangers in their home, Nifty is obsessively cleaning a corner of the bar (Husk keeps telling her that it is still dirty just so she won't venture elsewhere), and Cherri is playing with an unlit bomb in her hand.

Rosie and Stolas decided to approach Charlie and Alastor at the bar at the same time, both slightly bowed to her.

Charlie: Prince Stolas. Rosie.

Stolas: Hello, princess.

Charlie: How's Octavia?

Stolas: Via misses your outings together. But she is fine. She's with her mother today.

Rosie: Not that I'm not happy to see ya, Alastor. But why exactly are we here? Our Carmila has not stated a reason why.

Alastor: You know as much as me, my dear.

Stolas: It must be dire. His majesty rarely calls for the Goetia's presence. He is not here yet?

Charlie: No. He went down in Sloth earlier. I'm worried. After what happened yesterday, I..

Rosie: Yesterday? Did something happen, sweetie?

Charlie realizes the slip up and backtracks.

Charlie: Nothing, Rosie!

Rosie gives her a look that tells her they're going to be talking about it later. She gives the overlord a weak thumbs up.

Meanwhile, Velvette decides enough is enough and they have wasted too much time waiting.

Velvette: Ugh! Vois, let's go. This is a fuckin' joke.

Carmila: Velvette, calm yourself.

Valentino: Why should she? I had very important shit to shoot today and me being here is making me lose money.

Alastor: Then perhaps you should step down. Having to attend the bare minimum duty of their title must be so difficult for someone so... undeserving.

The Radio Demon has a giant patronizing grin plastered on his face. Alastor's comment prompted Vox to speak up.

Vox: Oh, you timely piece of shit! Fight us right now, Alastor!

Alastor: How unbecoming. Throwing tantrums in front of royalty!

Velvette: I for one, don't want to sit here waiting for a no-show fossil

Charlie's demon side flares as the demon insults her dad.

Charlie: How fucking dare you?!

Random Goetia: You shall know better than to disrespect your king, insolent pest.

Velvette: Ha! You think we're scared of a bunch of birds?

Alastor: Should have known you three cannot behave for a simple meeting haha!

Soon everyone was yelling obscenities at each other, filling the hotel with chaos. Before a proper fight could break out, the door opens with a bang, silencing every demon.

Lucifer has arrived, following him were the other Sins. They were arguing amongst themselves from behind him. Charlie can only catch glimpses of what is being said as voices overlap each other.

Beelzebub: Bel-

Mammon: Are you fuckin-

Satan: Wrath is-

Leviathan: We cannot-

Asmodeus: Evacuation-

Belphegor: Grown another mile-

Lucifer says nothing the entire time and just takes a seat in the middle of the semi-circle table he conjured up. With the way the table was placed in front of everyone else, Charlie gets the feeling of deja vu of her hearing in heaven. But now her dad will be the one passing judgment.

Most of the sinners in the room back up as the Sins continue to argue with their full form.

Lucifer sits back and raises a hand and the yelling stops.

Back then, she never really understood why demons were afraid of her dad. He was always a silly and happy guy when spending time with her. But one time, she sneaks into his rare meetings with the Sins and sees why he was called the devil.

The anger she saw then could have given her Uncle Satan a run for Uncle Mammon's money.

Lucifer: Thank you all for coming on such short notice. I will cut to the chase. I have called you all here because something is brewing at the very depths of hell. Something that may affect us all.

Stolas: The Ars Goetia is at your disposal, sire. But may I ask what is this about?

Belphegor: I can answer that. A few months ago, an anomaly appeared at the edge of Sloth. It was not a problem until-

She pressed her touchpad and a hologram screen appeared showing the infected ground.

Not a single demon didn't widen their eyes.

Angel: What the fuck is that?

Belphegor: We wouldn't have called you all here if it was not this severe.

She taps and shows a mutilated demon pig.

Belphegor: This is Patient Zero. An animal on a nearby farm made contact with the anomaly. It instantly infected the whole body, controlling the creature whilst killing it slowly. If it can affect an animal like this, we fear what it may do to-

Velvette: And what do you expect us to do about it exactly? Why the fuck would we care about some old place we can't even go to.

Belphegor is briefly stunned by the interruption but ignores the sinner's disrespect.

Belphegor: Because you would have to be naive to think that it will stop in Sloth. We cannot be too careful.

Velvette: So you think we would risk our lives? Yeah. No thanks. How do we even know that it will affect us? It's just a pig. The worst we can get is horrible floor decor.

Lucifer stands up and moves silently towards the middle for everyone to see.

Lucifer: Free will does not mean you are free from consequences.

The king starts to remove his shirt to everyone's panic, except Belphegor.

Mammon: Woah woah, mate. The fuck ya doin?

Lucifer shrugs off the last piece of clothing to reveal the glowing, infected marks. It has not been a day since he touched it but the veins are already covering the entire right half of his torso.

Charlie: Dad!

The princess attempts to go to her father's side but Vaggie holds her back.

Lucifer: Shall we proceed without any more interruptions?

---------------------------------------------

What to look forward to in Part 5:

the rest of the meeting

more dialogue from the other Sins. Cannot decide what personality to give to Leviathan.

My HC for Satan is he's like one of those old butler types but has a jacked body (I know he has that workout app, but I'm leaning more of the liver king type of a gentle strongman with anger issues. I don't want him to be a fuckboy gymbro)

more badass lucifer

the Vees getting scolded like the children they are

[shelbystales]

Honor and Blood - Part Eighteen (Previsouly Gypsy Wit)

Tommy Shelby x Reader - Masterlist

Read previous parts here:  1 -  2  -  3  -  4 -  5 -  6 -  7 -  8 -  9 -  10 -  11 - 12 -  13 -  14 -  15 - 16 - 17 -

Summary: you are a gypsy and your family lives near Birmingham. Tommy Shelby needs a favor and Johnny Dogs says you’re the one he should ask for. A meeting is scheduled and when Tommy meets you, he is instantly drawn to you.

Warning: Swearing, fluff, angst

A/N: This is the former Gypsy Wit story, you guys voted and this is the new title. Please comment and interact. tell me what you think! it means a looot to me if you do!

English is my second language so I apologize in advance for the grammar mistakes.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

You woke up to the sound of screams and sirens outside Thomas’ house. As your vision adjusted, you could see Thomas hurriedly putting on his clothes.

“What’s happening?” you asked in a hoarse voice.

“I don’t know, go back to sleep. I’ll handle it,” he said, but you ignored him and slowly started getting out from under the covers.

He left the room as you put on his pajamas, deciding to grab the first thing you saw as you opened his dresser.

“It’s her shop,” Polly said when he found her.

“Whose shop?” Thomas asked, bewildered, looking at Arthur running into the house.

“Y/n’s,” Polly answered, making Thomas breath deeply

“It’s bad. There’s fire everywhere,” Arthur spoke, a bit out of breath.

“Fuck,” Thomas whispered, rubbing his eyes.

“The firefighters are there, trying to control the fire, but it’s already consumed everything, Tommy,” Arthur clarified.

You appeared on the staircase, descending the steps slowly while rubbing your eyes, wiping away the sleep and trying to wake up your body.

When you looked at those present in the room, you frowned.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, confused by the worried looks.

“Sit down, love,” Tommy said, walking over to you.

“What’s happened?” you repeated, now with more firmness in your voice.

“Your shop is on fire, dear,” Polly said.

“What? No!” Your gaze shifted from Tommy to Arthur, from Arthur to Polly, hoping they’d start laughing and say it was a prank or something. But they stared at you with concern in their eyes.

Without much thought, you rushed past them and dashed out barefoot through the streets of Small Heath. 

You needed to see with your own eyes.

The cold wind on your face felt like a burn, but you didn’t stop running. The freezing air entering your lungs, although uncomfortable, couldn’t halt you. You ran as if your speed could make a difference.

Your mind was racing with thoughts. Who did this? If it was someone, if it was an accident. The dozens of carpets in the shop, all gone. All the hard work of your people… going to waste so quickly.

When you arrived, you saw the flames. You brought your hand to your face, a sign almost of desperation.

“No, no, no,” you whispered, getting closer to the scene.

There were several people on the street watching the firefighters in action. People you recognized, like the baker who had a shop near yours, the owners of neighboring stores, and also people who lived nearby.

“You can’t get any closer, ma'am,” the firefighter said to you as he rushed by with a bucket of water.

“Bucket?” you muttered to yourself as he moved away, confused about where the hose would be. That’s why the fire spread so quickly; they’re using fucking BUCKETS.

“Y/n,” you heard Thomas call you from behind.

You turned to him, confused, not knowing exactly what you were feeling. You wanted to scream, curse, tell everyone to go to hell, but all you did was cry.

Tommy quickly hugged you and whispered, “It’s going to be okay, we’ll figure this out.”

“They’re… using buckets,” was all you managed to say between sobs.

An hour later, the firefighters finally managed to control the fire. At that moment, you were sitting in the Garrison, looking out the window at everything the firefighters were doing. Polly had made tea, but Tommy had poured you a whisky, and that’s what you were drinking.

You felt defeated. As if you had lost everything, even though you knew it wasn’t entirely true. 

To make matters worse, during your barefoot run, you stepped on a shard of glass, and your foot hurt. It was now soaked in a mixture of whisky and water that Polly had prepared to prevent infections.

After Thomas asked some questions, he was informed that the nearest water source had been cut off for some reason. That’s why they were using buckets.

The police had arrived and were questioning those present, trying to determine if it was a criminal act or not. They had already interrogated you, trying to find out any mistake you could have made to cause this fire. If you left any candles on or any sort of fire. Obviously, the answer was no.

John walked in through the door, followed by your brother and your father. 

You stood up and hugged them both at the same time. You wanted to cry, but you had already cried so much that it seemed like there were no tears left.

“Who did this?” Your father asked, holding your face in his hands.

“I don’t know,” you said with a lack of energy and shrugged.

Patrick looked out of the Garrison window with a sad expression. “Everyone is going to be so sad,” he said.

“Yea, you don’t have to tell me” you said, sitting back on your chair and putting your feet back into Polly’s mixture

“If someone did this. We’ll now” Thomas said. 

He was sitting close to you, but he was giving you space. You needed time to understand everything, it all happened too fast. 

“What are we going to do?” Patrick asked you. He always saw you as an example, as a guide.

“I still don’t know,” you honestly replied. It felt like the ending of a terrible book, where there was no more story to be told because the main character had been defeated.

Although it might be comfortable to assume the role of a victim, it didn’t suit you.

“Well, um,” you took a deep breath and a sip of your whisky, “maybe the jewels survived the fire. We’ll have to check. Starting tomorrow, we’ll begin repairs and continue production. We’ll hope to have at least a few carpets to sell when the store is fixed, which will take a while, since everyone’s morale will be low. That’s only natural. We don’t have the luxury to stop, we need to keep going.”

“Maybe, just maybe,” your father approached you and knelt in front of you, “this is a sign.”

“No, it’s not a damn sign,” you said, already knowing what he was going to say.

“Y/n, our people aren’t welcome here. This could have been done by anyone,” your father continued. “I told you it was a bad idea, our people aren’t meant to stay in one place.”

“With all due respect, Dad. Just shut up,” you said, and he sighed, standing up and moving away from you.

“I’m going home,” he said, leaving the Garrison.

“The last thing we need right now is you two arguing,” Pat rick said with a passive tone. “There are two carpets ready in the warehouse, we made them yesterday. They turned out well, but people are still trying to learn how to use the machines.” You nodded, still focused on your shop through the window. Patrick looked at Thomas and said, “Take care of her.” With a slight nod, Thomas agreed.

Patrick followed their father out of the Garrison.

You brought both hands to your face; you were exhausted. It didn’t even seem like you had just had one of the best nights of your life, one of the most promising moments in your relationship with Thomas. Less than five hours ago, you were having dinner, and he had shared with you, that’s something. Now, all that good feeling had been wiped away, consumed by this mixture of anger and sadness.

“We’re going to take care of the bastards who did this, Y/n. Yeah. Don’t you worry,” Arthur said, his voice approaching you. Removing your hands from your face, you saw him sitting at the table with you and Thomas.

Arthur’s presence was a comfort, a reminder that the Shelby family stood united even in the face of adversity. Thomas remained silent, his eyes fixed on you. 

“Thank you, Arthur,” you managed to force a smile.

“Wanna go home?” Thomas finally spoke up.

“I have to check on the jewelry,” you said, your mind racing with worry.

“I can have someone do that,” Thomas said, his concern evident. “Come on, you need rest.”

“We all bloody need it,” Polly chimed in, exhaling a lungful of smoke.

“I won’t be able to rest,” you admitted, your gaze still fixed on what was left of your shop.

“But you need to,” Thomas insisted, his voice gentle yet firm.

“Leave the girl, Thomas,” Polly instructed, her tone leaving no room for argument. He nodded in agreement.

Once the fire was completely extinguished, you approached the firefighters, who warned you that the structure might be compromised, with a risk of collapsing. They urged you to be cautious and swift. 

They also informed you that you wouldn’t be able to start the fixing processes, the city council would need to come and conduct an assessment to determine if the building is at risk or not. Only after that, you could start the renovations.

As you walked through the wreckage of the shop, the reality of the situation hit you like a ton of bricks. The charred remains of what once held so much promise and hard work were now reduced to ruins.

The jewelry that had been meticulously crafted and displayed with pride was now likely either destroyed or heavily damaged. The thought made your heart ache, but you knew you couldn’t afford to dwell on it now. You had to salvage what you could.

Amidst the debris, you spotted the glint of metal and glass. You found a few earrings and few necklaces scattered around. Some in a better state than others. Thomas helped you on the search, getting his suit all dirty with the soot from the wreckage. 

Why the hell was he wearing a suit? You frowned for a bit, changing your focus. He always had to look good, to present himself well, you admired that, but sometimes it felt stupid. 

As you continued your search, your mind was already working on the steps ahead. 

After confirming that there wasn’t much left to salvage, Thomas waited for you outside the shop as you took in the scene around you for a while longer. 

Stepping out, you saw the Shelbys engaged in conversation with the police officer. Glancing up at the sky, you noticed that the sun had already risen, and life on the street was beginning to stir awake.

Thomas approached you, his gaze sympathetic and reassuring. “Are you alright?”

You let out a sigh, a mix of exhaustion and frustration. “I will be.” He gently took your hand, offering silent support. You managed a small smile, appreciating his gesture “It’s just… a lot to take in.” He nodded, his understanding evident. “What did the cop say?”

“Some people heard voices, other people saw things. They will investigate this properly, but it looks like it was criminal,” Thomas explained, making you sigh in response. 

He let go of your hand to fix his pajamas on you. He closed one more button, not liking how much cleavage you had for show, truth was, his clothes were too big for you  

“Polly suggested you help in the betting shop today. To keep your mind busy, do you want that?” he asked

“It’s better than staying at home with my dad,” you admitted, appreciating the distraction. You looked at him, wondering what the day had in store for you. “What will I have to do?”

“Count money,” he replied with a slight smirk, his attempt at lightening the mood. You couldn’t help but chuckle softly.

“Counting money doesn’t sound too bad,” you remarked, feeling a sense of normalcy returning.

“I’ll make sure it’s not too boring for you.” he gave you a malicious smirk that sent shivers down your spine, feeling your core throb 

“Damn you, Thomas Shelby” You smiled and he held his hand to you. You took it and you both walked back to his house.

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[sourwolf-sterek32]

Broken Heart

Summary: You were the first and only female Witcher.

You and Geralt had been together since you were teenagers, training and fighting alongside each other for decades. However, when Yennefer of Vengerberg showed up, he chose her.

Now, years later, you go back to Kaer Morhen for the winter and come face to face with Geralt of Rivia, forcing old feelings to resurface once again.

Pairing: Geralt of Rivia x Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Language, blood, needles

Previous Chapter

Chapter 14-

When you started to regain consciousness the first thing you noticed was the strong stench of blood as you forced your eyes open.

Everything was blurry as you tried to look around and you blinked your eyes a few times to clear them.

Where the hell were you?

It was dark. The rock wall opposite you had you thinking you were in some kind of basement or castle, but you couldn't be sure.

"Help us. Please, help us."

Who the hell was that?

You looked further down the dark room in the direction of the voice and had to do a double take when you saw what it came from. Your stomach dropped and you felt as though you were going to be sick as you stared at the three disembodied female heads held up by strands of flesh along the wall.

What the fuck was this place?

Your head was foggy, and you couldn't think straight. The last thing you remember was... what was the last thing you could remember?

There was the portal. Geralt breaking Rience’s hands and then... something had knocked you out.

Shit.

Panic began to soar through your body as you sat up on alert but came to the very quick realisation that your wrists were bound by chains and hooked to the ground.

What the fuck?

You yanked on the chains expecting them to break under your Witcher strength, but the metal didn't even budge. You tried again, but it was useless. You were too weak, and you had no idea why.

Everything was still a little blurred, your head now spinning after you tried to move.

Why were you so weak?

"Shh. He's coming. He's coming." One of the heads across the room warned.

You looked up, but the world around you tilted on its axes and you crashed back to the cold, hard floor just as heavy footsteps echoed across the room.

"Ah, the Witcher is awake."

A familiar voice called out, but you couldn't quite place who it belonged to.

A tall figure appeared in front of you, but everything was still blurry. You couldn't see the person clearly, only able to make out the dark cloak that hung loosely over their body. The person knelt beside you and something sharp suddenly pinched your arm. You looked down in confusion to find a thick needle piercing your lower arm.

What the hell?

Suddenly, the thick needle started to fill up with red liquid and it took your cloudy brain a moment to figure out that it was your blood. This person was taking your blood.

Once the vial at the end of the needle was filled, something sharp pierced your neck and in a matter of seconds your eyes were closing involuntarily, and you lost consciousness.

-

Minutes. Hours. Days. It all blurred together.

Whoever had kidnapped you was smart enough to know that they couldn't keep a full strength Witcher hostage, so they kept you drugged and knocked out majority of the time.

There were small pockets of windows where you were drifting between consciousness and vaguely aware of what was happening around you. A young blonde girl would appear every now and then, but you had no idea who she was.

The tall blurry figure kept injecting her with something as well, but you had a bad feeling that it wasn't just to keep her drugged and weak, there something more going on.

You were pretty sure the person was doing some kind of human experimentation. That was all your foggy, drugged up mind could figure out. How you factored into this situation was a question that you still couldn't quite answer, but the person seemed rather interested in your blood because every hour on the dot, they would return and take vials of it before injecting you with whatever drug they had been using to knock you out.

It was like clockwork.

It was the same every time. So, when you started to wake up once again to sound of a voice in the distance, you figured it was the person getting ready to take more blood. There was no point trying to fight. You had tried a few times, but you were too weak. You couldn't even sit up let alone get the chains off to fight and escape.

You could hear the person in the background, but you kept your eyes closed. It was too much effort and energy to open them, energy that you certainly didn't have.

However, when the familiar pinprick of a needle never came, you knew something wasn't right.

"Y/N?!"

"Are you awake? Little one?"

Even in your current state there was no mistaking who that gruff voice belonged to.

It was Geralt.

His voice didn't sound right though. It was like he was trying to talk underwater, or maybe it was you that was underwater. Everything sounded fuzzy and distorted around you, but it was Geralt. You knew it was Geralt.

You blinked your heavy eyelids open, and it took all your strength to keep them open as you glanced around the room in confusion. It took a moment before the blurriness in your vision started to clear and that was when you saw him.

Geralt of Rivia.

He was further down the room fighting something... something that looked like a giant flesh spider made out of the bodies of different women.

What the fuck?

That couldn't be right. You had to still be unconscious because that couldn't be real.

Your eyes slowly started to flicker shut, but you were awoken not long after with Geralt's hands cupping the sides of your face, the monster now dead.

"Y/N? Little one? Hey, I need you to wake up."

Your eyes fluttered open once again and you were met with Geralt's dark black eyes right in front of you. Even with the effects of his elixir, you could see the worry on his pale, black veined face.

"Are you hurt?" He ripped off the metal chains from your wrists like they were made of paper before his dark eyes met yours again. "Y/N? Are you hurt?"

"I... I don't... know." Was all you managed to say, your voice weak and sounding foreign to your ears.

"That's alright. I need to get you out of here. Can you stand?"

The hesitation on your response was enough of an answer for Geralt because a second later, he scooped you up in his arms and began to carry you down the dark corridor.

"W-wait. The girl... there was a girl." You quickly realised.

"I know. She's with Roach. I'm getting you both out of here."

You dropped your head down on Geralt's shoulder with a sigh of relief before you closed your eyes, knowing you were safe in his arms, so you let the darkness consume you once again.

-

"Good to see you too. How'd it go?"

"Not quite as expected."

"Did you find the castle? Did you find Y/N? Is she okay? Please tell me you killed Firefingers."

"Rience wasn't there. I found Y/N and I found something else, though."

You were faintly aware of the voices in the distance that were getting closer and closer, but you couldn't understand what they were saying over the ringing in your ears. You knew you should open your eyes and wake up, but you knew what would happen and you weren't ready to get drugged or for more blood to get taken. Not yet.

"Fuck. Is she alright?"

"I... I don't know. She hasn't woken up since I got her out of there."

"She's super pale. Is she injured? The last time I saw her this pale was when she bled out back in Kaer Morhen."

"She was hit by an arrow back in Shaerrawedd but that had already healed. Other than the bruises and dried blood on her inner arm, I couldn't find any physical injuries."

"Which arm?"

The feeling of someone's fingers wrapping around your wrist was enough to snap you fully awake. You practically jumped to your feet only to fall back down when your weak legs failed to cooperate.

You hurriedly pushed yourself away from the person until your back hit something hard behind you, and you were trapped.

Not again.

No. You couldn't take anymore.

"It's okay. It's just me. It's me. You're out of that place. You're safe, little one."

The sound of Geralt's gentle deep voice bought you back to the present moment as your eyes came back into focus and you saw him kneeling in front of you.

Your wide eyes frantically scanned your surroundings and you found yourself sitting on the dirt in some kind of forest with your back against a tree. The dark walls and chains from the castle long gone.

It was over.

Geralt had gotten you out of there. It was finally over.

"Thank fuck." You exhaled shakily, burying your face with your hands as you took in a few deep breaths to calm yourself down.

The sound of footsteps getting closer had your head shooting back up and Jaskier instantly stopped in his tracks and raised his hands to show that he meant no harm.

"Easy. It's just me, the friendly bard." He hurriedly reassured.

You dropped your head back against the tree trunk behind you with a sigh, not trusting your voice at the moment to say anything.

Neither Geralt nor Jaskier spoke as they watched you carefully. It was almost as if they were afraid you would pass out again which, yeah, okay, that was a reasonable enough fear because your head was still kind of spinning.

There was a young blonde girl sitting on a log by Roach a little distance away. She had her back facing you, but you could hear her mumbling nonsense to herself. It took your foggy brain a good minute before you realised that it was the same girl from the castle.

"W-who is she?" You eventually asked, hating how weak your voice sounded.

Geralt followed your line of sight and stared at the young girl for a moment before turning back to you.

"I don't know, but she thinks she's Ciri."

The look of confusion on your face was enough for Geralt to elaborate further.

"She was part of an experiment. She has lucid moments but reverts back to this." Geralt explained pointing to the young girl. "Whatever she's rambling about, it's stuck in her head in a nonsensical loop. I need to find out why."

"Please tell me you have a plan." Jaskier asked, speaking up for the first time in a while.

"We're taking her to Anika. If this is an enchantment, she'll be able to fix it."

"And who's Anika?"

"She's a druid. And a friend of my mother's." Geralt answered causing your eyes to snap in his direction.

Geralt very rarely spoke of his mother. You knew what she did when he was a boy. It was basically the same thing your own parents had done to you and Eskel when you were children, but if Geralt was willing to meet up with an old friend of his mothers, this was serious.

"Before we go, I need to know everything that happened." Geralt suddenly said after a beat of silence.

"I don't..." You trailed off, your brain short circuiting as you tried to think of the events of the past few days and failing.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"No... I mean... whoever it was, they drugged me. And they- they kept me drugged so I couldn't do anything, I couldn't move, I couldn't... I couldn't do anything. I was so helpless." You whispered, staring down at the small rock in the dirt like a lifeline. "I remember the needles... they kept taking my blood. So much blood."

You reached over and grabbed your left inner arm, your fingers tightening around the dark bruises and needle marks until it started to hurt.

"Who did this?" Geralt demanded, looking down at your arm angrily, but you knew his anger wasn't aimed at you. It was aimed at the person who had touched you.

"I-I don't know."

"Was it Rience?"

"I don't know."

"Was it another mage?"

"I don't know."

Your fingers were trembling as you squeezed your arm tighter, small droplets of blood spilling from the needle marks. Flashes of dazed memories washed over you. The chains. The needles. The heads on the wall. Everything. It was too much.

"What did they look like? Who did this?"

"Geralt-" Jaskier tried to intervene, noticing your distress.

"Did you see Rience? Was he there?"

"I... no, I don't... I don't know!" You snapped, hot tears burning in the back of your eyes.

Geralt lowered his head with a deep sigh, realising that he had pushed it too far.

“I'm sorry." He whispered, the anger in his voice replaced with guilt.

"Okay. That's enough of that. Why don't you go find us some drinking water, Geralt?" Jaskier suggested, stepping between the two of you. "Go on."

Geralt hesitated for a moment, but seemed to realise that he wasn't helping anyone right now, so he simply nodded before he walked away.

Jaskier watched him disappear and spared a glance at the girl by the horse making sure she was okay or as okay as she could be before he turned his attention back to you, giving you a sad smile.

The bard didn't try asking any questions, although you could tell that he wanted to. He simply sat down on the dirt beside you pulling his lute off his back and placing it in his lap before leaning against the tree trunk.

To your surprise, he didn't start strumming away at the cords either. He simply sat there beside you in comfortable silence while looking out at the lush green forest ahead.

"Are you okay?" You eventually asked.

"Am I okay?" Jaskier repeated, tilting his head towards you in confusion. "I am not the one who looks on the brink of death."

"You're so dramatic." You sighed, meeting his worried gaze before you reached over and placed a gentle hand on his knee. "But are you okay? After... after seeing Rience?"

"Oh, my dear heart, why are you worrying about little old me when you were quite literally just kidnapped?"

"I... I promised that I would protect you and I wasn't there."

"Y/N-"

"I broke my promise."

He placed his hand over yours and gave it a gentle squeeze, "it wasn't your fault. And I'm... I won't lie to you, I was fucking terrified when I saw him, but I'm okay. I promise, my darling. Are you okay?"

You shrugged your shoulders.

"I... I don't know." You admitted, and that was terrifying. "I... shit."

"It's alright. Take your time."

"I feel weak... helpless... I can barely stand up, let alone fight."

"Witcher or not, if you lose enough blood, you die." Jaskier replied honestly. "And since you're as pale as a ghost, I would say that it'll take a while before you start to feel like your normal, badass self."

"Great." You sighed, leaning your head back against the tree trunk.

"It'll be okay." Jaskier reassured, squeezing your hand.

If only you could believe that. 

-

Next Chapter

-

MASTERLIST pinned to profile

Commissions open! Link in bio & DM for enquiries

A/N: I just finished watching Vol 2 of Season 3 and all I have to say is… what the actual fuck?

That was meant to be Henry's last episodes as Geralt? He spent half of it lying in bed. How the hell are they meant to finish this storyline without Henry as Geralt? No hate to Liam Hemsworth but nobody else could ever be Geralt in my eyes.

Henry Cavill is and always will be my Geralt of Rivia.

[peaky-shelby]

New Year, New Me | Kylian Mbappé

Request: hey could you please do 14. “Have you been ignoring me or am I just being paranoid?” with mbappé? thank youuu

Writer's note: sorry for the wait I hope this makes up for it!! Also happy new year Angels!!

New Years, the day to dream about new beginnings and erase the past as much as you can. The day full of possibilities and stories waiting to be written. Everyone is partying, everyone is playing cards and getting their New Year’s kiss. You found yourself in one of those parties, drinking and talking with friends and strangers. Your eyes scanning for a specific person that you knew was coming sooner or later but when he did, he simply sent a smile your way and continued his way to the bar to get a drink. It was weird because usually he was happy to see you, he’d walk over to you smiling and wrap you in his arms but not this time. There was tension, you could feel it, you just didn’t know why. You let him be for the first couple of hours, the clock was getting nearer to midnight and you wanted to talk to him before this year ended. You walked up to him while he was discussing with Hakimi, laughing about something, probably one of their lame jokes.

Hakimi saw you first, his expression gave away that some of your worries were right because his smile faded away and he motioned his head to let Kylian know he was behind you. You stood next to him smiling, stretching your hand out for Hakimi, wishing him for the holy days.

“How are you?” You asked him, feeling Kylian next to you tensing up. Hakimi took your hand, shaking it and smiling.

“Tres bien!” he said “you?”

“Getting ready for the new year.” You answered, smiling and looked up to your right at Kylian. He was staring at his shoes, keeping his gaze away from you at all times. Hakimi left you two alone and you nudged his elbow, confused.

“You’re not even going to say hi?”

“Hm?” he wondered, finally looking at you “Sorry.” He added quickly and faking a smile “Thought I already did.”

“Ky have you been ignoring me or am I just being paranoid?”

He looked away, like he was searching for a way out of the conversation. You hot his elbow harder, pulling him to look at you, at this point feeling annoyed at your old and close friend, with whom you had gotten a little closer in the last month, maybe to close “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t wanna do this here.” He answered bluntly, taking hold of your hand and throwing it of his arm. He tried to move pass you but you stepped right in front of him, stopping him. One thing the two of you had in common was your stubbornness and you wouldn’t let go of him that easy.

“Too bad. You don’t get a choice.”

“Please don’t make a scene.” He whispered, glancing up to see if anyone was looking at them.

“What the hell happened?”

He scoffed at the question and grabbed your arm, dragging you with him outside the main room, in the balcony. “You really have some nerve you know that?”

“Yes, I do! I get it from my mother but I don’t see what that has anything to do with you!”

“I saw you at the bar last night!” he said as if it was obvious what he was talking about. You let your eyes open wide, expecting him to go on, give you another hint and you must have stood like that for a couple of minutes before he actually did “Dancing with a random guy- “

Your face dropped, not because you were sad but because you were shocked. He had seen you; he was at the same bar with you and you had no idea. That meant he must have gotten there late and left quickly because he is not the kind of person that goes unnoticed. On top of that you couldn’t understand where his anger was coming from. “Alex is my friend.”

“We’re friends and I’ve never touched your fucking ass- “

“That’s on you!” you spat, loudly. Realizing what you said only after you said it. You mother always said you found a way to make light of any situation and that was eventually going to be your downfall. Kylian was dumbfounded by your answer, his eyes staring at you in shock and his mouth open. You could see him trying to hold back his laughter and keep a straight face. He had to look away in order not to laugh. He placed his hands on his hips, clicking his tongue.

“Why the fuck were you with him?” he asked, keeping his gaze away from you still.

“Why the fuck didn’t you come and speak to me Ky?” you asked back, tilting his head to try and look in his eyes.

“I don’t know maybe because you seemed occupied enough and I wasn’t in the mood for a trio- “you slapped him. Something you had been waiting to do for a while, not just because of his stupid jokes but also because of the way he’d sent you mixed signals constantly. Make you wonder where you stand with him and if he ever looked at you the way you stared at him when he wasn’t looking. You were tired of waiting for him, expecting something more and only getting tiny parts of what you were giving. Ky held his sore cheek, now slowly turning red. He watched you throwing daggers at him with your eyes while you could hear the crowd inside cheering the countdown for the new year and then he kissed you. Quickly and deeply.

You don’t even know how his lips landed on his, but you could feel his hand behind your neck and you imagined he must have pulled you in. You wanted to push him away and hit him again but you also wanted to keep kissing him like it was the one thing you needed for the new year. The fireworks that blew all around you, startled you, making you pull back and making him laugh during the kiss. You raised your head to look at the sky, colors rained, filling the night with sparks and hope for the new year. Kylian’s hand found it’s way to your back, holding it gently while he looked up as well. When the fireworks started to slow down you looked at each other again, Kylian’s hand moved down to your ass, making you laugh “About goddamn time.” You mumbled, smiling at him. You stroke the part of his cheek you had earlier slapped, looking in his eyes “you say something like that to me again, I’ll kick you in the dick.”

He laughed leaning in “I see anyone else dancing with you again, I’ll punch him in the face.”

“Don’t worry. You won’t” you said and kissed him.

[hearts4youz]

The Captains Daughter- Chapter 14

A/N: UGHHHHHH long wait again, im sorry!! just been so busy. I hope to get to publishing faster soon. this one is half assed. im not proud of it at all :( Enjoy chapter 14 yalls!!!

Taglist: @abbiesxox @n30n-j3lly @weird-katthing @kayoyamamegame @kroowonderemporium @astro-ghoul99

Word count: 800

Ghost pov:

Somehow, even deep inside the woods, covered in mud and grime, exhausted and sweaty, Y/N is still the most beautiful woman i've ever seen. Her face when she gets frustrated when we make a wrong turn is so adorable, I think i'm smitten.

There's no denying it at this point, i'm way too far down the rabbit hole.

I've recovered now after being sick last week. Y/N sure helped a lot. I think it was her presence that seemed to magically cure me. I can't stop picturing the hour we spent together, us talking, her taking care of me. It was just so domestic, so far from the violence and horror of the military. I've never pictured myself involved in anything besides the SAS, let alone romance.

Fucking hell, this girl has me wrapped around her finger.

And she doesn't even know it.

Because i'm a cold, composed soldier.

Romance and feelings have no place in my heart.

Well... maybe just for Y/N they do.

My thoughts are shaken by Price giving orders.

"A pilot just radioed, there's enemy choppers on his radar, it's not safe for us all to stick together. Gaz, Ghost, and I will walk east. Soap and Y/N to the north. Keep your eyes peeled for combatants in the area. Remember the goal, find the store of hidden weapons."

A chorus of 'copies' and 'affirmatives' ring through the air. Everyone is calm, but I feel distressed.

Y/N and I are in opposite groups.

How will I protect her?

What if something happens to her?

She'll be with Soap... she should be fine, right?

She'll be with soap.

Alone. Just him and her. In the woods. On a mission.

Jealousy corrupts my mind.

She's not into him... is she?

I take a breath, thankful once again for the mask to hide my pissed expression as our groups spread apart. I resist taking one last glance at Y/N as she walks in the other direction with Soap. I still have to maintain my reserved image. No one can know about this little... crush.

The word makes me feel the need to wash my mouth out.

Crush

It just sounds so unlike me, so soft and boyish. I am a soldier, a big, tough killing machine.

"What's on your mind, Ghost?" Gaz quizzes.

"Ah...um...nothing," I lie.

"Bullshit, you took a day off last week for the first time EVER, and you've been way quieter than normal ever since."

"M' just recovering, bad flu I guess" I say sheepishly.

Gaz sighs. "The Simon Riley I know doesn't take time for recovery, unless hes been SHOT" Gaz rebuttles.

I stay silent.

"I think you've got Y/N on the brain," Gaz says quieter, so the captain wouldn't here us discussing my crush on his daughter.

"What the hell Gaz, that's ludicrous," I try to defend myself.

Gaz continues to talk about my supposed crush on Y/N, I do all I can to deny it, until finally, I give in.

"Okay! Okay! yeah, fine. I'm interested in her." I say quiet enough to not capture the attention of Price, who walks ahead, blissfully unaware of the fact that we are discussing his myself as a possible love interest for his daughter.

Gaz smirks "We all know, by the way."

"Everyone!? even price?"

"Oh hell no, not price. He'd skin you alive."

"I don't blame him, i'm older than Y/N, I look kinda... edgy. I'm not the guy you want around your daughter."

"Hey, maybe he'll come around. He knows you already, you're a protector, a provider. I think that's exactly the kind of guy you want your daughter to date," Gaz tries to reassure me.

"Eh... maybe your right"

"You've just got to ask her out first."

Fuck.

I forgot about that.

*TIMESKIP*

Hours later, we continue to trudge through the woods. Our radios begin to crackle.

Soap's voice comes through the communication device.

"Weapons secured. Send your coordinates, we've radioed for an exfil."

The three of us sigh in relief.

"Alright, were out of here boys." Price says with a smile.

The helicopter touches down in the distance, we jog over to it and hop into the cab. As I hop inside, Y/N offers me a kind smile and moves to sit next to me. I feel my face heat up, thankfully covered by my mask. Soap wiggles his eyebrows at me and gestures towards Y/N while making kissy faces.

Ugh.

but then I look over at her, taking in her (hair color) hair as she gazes at the woods below us. It looks so soft and silky, well maintained and clean. A rarity in the military.

Fucking hell, i've fallen hard.

[calx-bdo]

muichiro but make him a roblox player

muichiro x you btw

"FUCK I FELL OFF THE GODDAMN LEDGE AGAIN?!!"

Your high pitched scream flooded Muichiro's ears through his headset.

"Jesus...calm down dude. It's not that hard."

Yea, not that hard. Thanks Muichiro, who is so pleasantly at level 50. You, however, was still stuck on level 38.

"Tokito, how did you even pass this level? This..this hell."

You mumbled, eyebrows knitted in concentration.

"It's not even that bad. You're just weak for real. Like, how did you even get past stage 35? I'm surprised you got past it with the amount of whining you did. Wait until you get to stage 42. That's where the REAL hell is. No cap, for real."

A beat of silence. Two beats.

"Fuck you, Muichiro." You spat into your mic. You were already struggling in this stage, what does he mean there's worse ones up ahead!! Sure, it's a little embarrassing for a 14 year old to be stuck on Speedrun 4 on Roblox, but what the fuck is the ice cream stage!!! Are you kidding me?!?! Is the game's creator trying to send you to an early grave?!

"Dude. You still there? Nah don't tell me you're still stuck there.." Muichiro clicked his mouse to check the player list. And there you are, @sonicrealfan11 on Roblox - still at 38.

"BROO you have the BIGGEST skill issue I have EVER seen. DUDEE LOLLL. HOW ARE YOU STILL THERE?! THAT'S CRAZY NO WAY LMAO!!"

'Well, okay, fuck you Muichiro. I thought you were supposed to be my boyfriend or whatever!!' You thought.

Suddenly, there was a knock on your door. You removed your headphones and walked towards it, opening the knob slowly.

"Hey. Your struggle really kinda pissed me off since we're weren't on the same stage and I couldn't see you fail through my screen. So, I'm here to help you beat it."

Muichiro's nonchalant voice rang out.

"Oh thanks man!"

You had no idea how to reply so you just blurted this out.

1 grueling hour later and many trips to your room, Muichiro and you finally managed to beat Speedrun 4.

a/n: this is just projecting FUCK YOU ICE CREAM STAGE

[jiminjamms]

sex therapy :: 14. sucker for pain

chapter tags/warnings: misogynistic! naoya. pet names ("bimbo"). dirty talking. nonconsenual undertones. infidelity/adultery. strong language. humiliation. classism.

word count: 3.8k

notes: i published this story for the first time in october 2021 on wattpad, and i'm so thankful for and overwhelmed by the support and love that sex therapy has received over the past year. thank you for watching me and my story grow. xoxo

fic masterlist | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33.

Eat. Sleep. Fuck. Repeat.

This would be the mantra Naoya would live by tonight.

The little date he was taking you on was merely a prequel to the chain of bedroom events he had schemed for the evening. Because warming up first was important, no?

As a wonderful husband, Naoya took his precious wife out to dinner at Shibuya’s Cé La Vi, a top-floor restaurant that may not be as vertigo-inducing as its famous Marina Bay Sands counterpart in Singapore, but offered a menu and skyline views second to none.

He had even requested an outdoor table under the fairy lights for the romantic atmosphere, where both the amber hues and soft jazz washed the vicinity with warmth and peace. Exactly what Naoya also needed after his last twenty hours filled with hurried negotiations with publishers, a long flight back to Tokyo, and many��private lectures from his outraged father.

At least that was all done now.

Sighing, Naoya gestured at a nearby waiter, who disappeared and returned with a glass of expensive tequila several minutes later. Eight in the evening might be far too early for Naoya to down his third shot of Don Julio, but he needed to reward himself for completing a hectic itinerary without a wink of shuteye in between.

With the drink, he quietly soaked in the low hum of chatter that mingled with the gentle clinking of cutlery. The ambiance was so miraculous that Naoya didn’t know why he hadn’t taken you here earlier.

Now that he thought about it, when was the last time he had taken you out on a proper date anyway?

Oh, when he took you out two weeks ago to skydive in…

No, wait that was with Mari.

He was only two and a half glasses in, but the liquor was already messing with his memory.

So when…?

“We haven’t done anything like this in a long, long while,” you commented when you must have noted his extended silence at the dinner table, although Naoya found it quite funny that you seemingly read his thoughts instead.

He swirled the liquor in his glass but decided against another sip. “You think so?” he asked as harmlessly as possible. “When was the last time?”

Cutting into a scallop on your plate, you bit your inner cheek. “Our…honeymoon.”

Holy crap, that Caribbean trip was months ago. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” you deadpanned.

Oh.

Okay, he might have thought a lot more about spending time with his mistress, and he hadn’t exactly been keeping track of every single date he went on with you, but he certainly did not expect to have such an abysmal track record with his own wife.

Not that he felt guilty about his absence in your life.

Besides, you had the money to entertain yourself as you wished. Whether because you were blinded by sheer stupidity or his bank account, you thankfully didn’t complain much either. All Naoya had to do was to keep you happy and ignorant because—to paraphrase his father’s own words—if Naoya flopped this marriage with the COO's daughter, he would not be welcomed in the Zenin household again.

The difficult part, however, was that you were hard to please.

That was what happened to little girls who grew up spoiled by daddy’s money, Naoya supposed. Mari, on the other hand, would have absolutely been overjoyed in your position. Hell, even Naoya himself—who merely grew up as a spare heir—would have shown some gratitude.

“Sorry that I’ve been so occupied.” The Zenin CEO had to inject whatever sympathy and sincerity he had into his apology before sampling his risotto. “I’ve been buried in work ever since I joined the executive suite earlier this year. I’ve had a lot to catch up on.”

“I know,” you responded very matter-of-factly. “And I understand. You’ve been busy with meetings.”

Right. Meetings with his board in addition to his, well, other more discreet ‘meetings’ where he pounded his paramour into oblivion (but let’s not talk about that, shall we?).

As he pushed the thought away, he placed his fork down in exchange for his drink. “That’s why I invited you for dinner—to spend extra time with you. I’ll make things up to you even more later.”

You glanced up from your meal, blinking rapidly but the ambivalence apparent in your gaze. “Really? Like how?”

Sex, you motherfucking dimwit.

How much more obvious did he have to be?

Of course, he instead replied with, “You’ll see.”

He hadn’t told you his idea to rail your brains out because he didn’t feel obligated to, but if he wanted to a) get his father off his ass and b) be a baby daddy by morning, he had quite the mission to accomplish. Besides, if he calculated the numbers correctly in his head, today was still within your fertility window. A later day in the schedule, but still a fertile time for his wife, nonetheless. This was the perfect time to focus on you, particularly since he wouldn’t be distracted by Mari for some time. Perhaps arriving early from Mexico wasn’t too much of a bad thing.

Tonight, the deed didn’t seem too difficult to do either, thanks to how provocatively you dressed. Since when did you wear off-the-shoulder mini dresses? Was this from your New York fashion haul three months back?

“It’d be nice if you could apologize to me first.”

Naoya froze with his glass by his mouth at your unanticipated comment. What were you even going on about? “Didn’t I already say sorry for not spending time with you?” This was what he meant by how ungrateful you were.

Curling your lips inward, you inhaled sharply. “That wasn’t what I was—”

When the conversation was unexpectedly interrupted by a buzzing at the table, Naoya reached for his phone only to be greeted with a blank screen. Rather, he looked up to see you wiping your hands and staring at your device, mirroring Naoya’s own confusion as your brows creased at an unsaved number.

“Spam,” you concluded and pushed the device away once the caller eventually reached voicemail. “What I was saying,” you began even as your face contorted momentarily with reluctance, “was that you never told me you were away from Japan. I didn’t even know where you were or when you would be back had I not called your secretary.”

Wow, that was what you wanted an apology for?

What an entitled brat.

Admittedly, Naoya should have texted you before he vanished into thin air, but a homemaker like you certainly had no business in his personal schedule. Had he truly had an investor conference to attend, Naoya was certain you would have been just as meddlesome, which was why he found the situation even more sardonic when you confirmed his suspicions by adding, “Sending me a text isn’t too difficult, you know.”

Just who the hell did you think you were?

Don’t think he had not noticed how confrontational you had been as of late, criticizing his actions and then dishing out instructions as though you were anywhere near the place to do so. This change from your typically submissive nature was uninvited, to say the least. Like, at the bare minimum, you could look at your own husband as you spoke, and Naoya wondered if your actions were simply a phase in the relationship or a reveal of the real you. Whatever the reason, he wanted his good and obedient wife back.

“Well then, my apologies." His eye twitched as he spoke, and nothing now could hide the contempt rising in his tone. “Next time, I’ll make sure my assistants send you my entire itinerary from when I sleep to when I use the restroom to—"

Naoya couldn’t even think through his annoyance because, at this point, your phone was ringing for what must be the third time and that irked him even further.

“Please!” he scoffed, his vexation bursting through his voice. “Just excuse yourself and pick that shit up, good lord!”

At least that much you listened to. You pardoned yourself, stepping away just as Naoya pinched the bridge of his nose. On the one date he finally organized with his wife, you just had to ruin his mood with your shit attitude and table manners. Fantastic.

After one long huff, Naoya swung around in his seat and caught the attention of a nearby waiter.

The fuming executive then pointed at his glass.

“Another shot, ASAP."

As much as you were guilty of self-deprecation, you were not masochistic enough to simply swallow your husband’s insults over dinner.

‘Sex, you motherfucking dimwit.’

Simply thinking back to that line sent tiny pricks to your chest.

Did Naoya really think that, just because he mumbled that to himself under his breath, you wouldn’t hear him? What made you even more upset was that, when you asked for an apology, he could not even recognize his wrongs. There was more that you hoped to confront him about, too—particularly about the rumors of his extramarital affairs—but you had half the mind to shut up given his splenetic fury.

Whoever called you, however, thankfully provided you with a reason for reprieve.

You rushed out of the main restaurant venue as you curiously stared at your phone, noticing the missed calls from an unknown number. When the same contact information appeared on your screen in its fourth ring, you pressed the ‘Accept’ button only for the other line to greet you first.

“I still have your dress, kiddo.”

Kiddo.

Only one person called you that.

“Choso?” you nearly shouted in disbelief, unintentionally garnering the attention of some bystanders.

“That’s me alright,” the therapist answered, his reply cool and composed as though he never questioned the fact that his hands landed on your phone number. “I was just about to give up on reaching you.”

Overwhelmed, you sighed. “Sorry, I’m rather busy at the moment.”

“Right, right,” he mulled, a faint rumble sneaking in his tone. Choso then clicked his tongue against his teeth, and you could almost picture the blasé manner in which he would recline in a seat as some shuffling echoed over the line, which would have normally been irrelevant until he added, “Well, I’m downstairs.”

“What?!” was your first reaction. Now, you were certainly getting weird stares. Downstairs, as in, where? “Are you in—”

“Yes, Shibuya. You’re at Cé La Vi right now, aren’t you? Take the elevator down to the first floor. My car’s parked right outside the building’s main doors. That Dolce & Gabbana outfit I made you change out of before the club, I didn’t have a chance to return that since you stormed out of the meeting last night.”

You shut your dropped jaw. “The dress I remember but,” your gaze then narrowed, “how do you know where I am?”

The call suddenly grew quiet, the lull stretching for what must be an hour as Choso carefully contemplated his next words. “When you’re in the right business,” he hinted darkly, no doubt making a reference to his underbelly occupation, “information isn’t hard to come by once you know the right people.”

An assassin with eyes all over the city, huh?

Well, that explained how he got your number as well, albeit you would not be surprised if he had dug through the therapist office’s database for that instead. Sometimes, you had to wonder how an upper-class lady like you got entangled with a man like him, but a five-minute round trip to the first floor could not possibly hurt, right?

“I’ll meet you, then,” you eventually replied and ended the call.

Catching the first elevator car down, you had no trouble spotting the iconic blue Corvette convertible that stood outside the building’s entrance. Upon your approach, Choso rolled down his window and stuck his head out. This evening, his jet-black strands were pulled back into one low ponytail rather than two, his prominent jawline appearing even sharper against the nighttime backdrop.

No wonder this man had a whole harem in the club.

“Hey,” he hummed as his inky eyes ran down your figure, his gaze lingering a little longer on your exposed collarbone before traveling down to your legs. “I like your style.”

At the compliment, you looked away, feeling a bizarre prickle in your stomach. “I’m on a dinner date.”

“With Naoya?” Given how the therapists have recently revealed their disdain for your husband, you were not surprised to see Choso grimace. “Why…would you do that to yourself?”

Great question. “He’s paying, so I can’t complain.”

Choso pressed his lips outward, nodding when he could not argue against that. “I see.”

During the silence that ensued, you clicked your heels together, too busy floundering in the burning presence of your companion that you almost forgot the reason you were here in the first place. “Do…you have my dress?”

Nonchalantly, the man pointed to the back with his thumb. “In the trunk. What? You’re in a rush or something?”

You nodded slowly. “Naoya doesn’t know I’m down here," you explained but, given the psychological pain that your husband had inflicted on you, there was no good reason for guilt to be tugging at your lungs.

Even Choso narrowed his eyes. “You’re going back to that asshole?”

Another great question.

Without saying much, Naoya already made clear that his intention with you tonight was grounded only in sexual gratification, that he viewed you as nothing beyond—as he had put it—‘a motherfucking dimwit.’ Despite the pain, you never failed to find a reason to crawl back to the husband that lashed at your heart.

“Naoya is already angry at me,” you eventually remarked, twirling the edges of your dress. “If I don’t get back...”

“Then what? Even more of a reason to ditch him, to be honest. Maybe that will teach him a lesson for all the times he left you.” Choso was not the type to talk much, but he inevitably had the uncanny ability to leave you dumbstruck once he did. Oblivious to your state (or not), he then casually adjusted the braided bracelet at his wrist. “Better things to do with your time than stay with him.”

Funny that your first instinct was to defend Naoya again. However, even if you were to dutifully return to your husband, he would internally welcome you with apathy, his only goal to leave you smitten as a kitten just so he would have a pussy to play with.

Abandoning Naoya also came with one other problem, though. “There isn’t much else for me to do.”

How pitiful was that?

Sure, you had a stack of invitations to various charity dinners and networking parties, but—even with all the riches and respect in the world—you found those events pretentious, repetitive, and dull.

You half-expected Choso to mock you. (Because, really, who were you to complain about first-world problems?) However, the man just paused slightly, a dash of sympathy running over his expression as he then motioned to the empty shotgun seat.

“I could take you out for a ride.”

Your brows shot up. Tempting. “Where to?”

“Since I’m free tonight, I was going to take myself somewhere by Tokyo Bay—one of my favorite spots around,” Choso explained as he ran both his hands through his hair. “Although, if you’re interested, I could show you the area, too.”

At the proposal, you tried not to smile too obviously. Who knew that a hardened part-time hitman actually had such a soft spot?

“Then I’d love to.”

Choso drove off the second you jumped into the Corvette, the convertible greeting you with its familiar ashy honeysuckle scents and a The Neighbourhood tune. With a long exhale, you sank into the red leather seat and stared out the window, watching the nearby scenery transform from skyscrapers to highway signs.

Quietly, you relished the soothing silence in the car that was a refuge from the charged cacophony over dinner, reflecting on the steps that brought you to this moment. What a twist of fate, how the man who had detested you weeks ago was now a warm beacon that offered light in the merciless sea, providing you more comfort than you'd like to admit.

When you unconsciously turned in his direction, you tried to not stare too obviously at the metal on his ears, the piercings gleaming as they caught beams from bypassing streetlamps. You might have had a rough start with Choso Kamo, but you still found him ridiculously attractive with his oversized white sweater and black jeans, hiding his athletic physique underneath.

“Need me to pull up Google Maps?” you asked upon realizing your extended ogling.

“No,” he shot back. “I know this city like the back of my hand.”

And Choso sure seemed like he did.

He was focused solely on driving, his palms clasped around the steering wheel as his fingers drummed to the bass of ‘Sweater Weather.’

This close to him, you noticed how his hands were rough and calloused—almost definitive sign of working out. Right where he rolled up his sleeves, veins also weaved beneath his forearm tattoos, the inked vines something you never had the chance to examine extensively either.

This time, you weren’t too discreet given that he caught your gaze. “What?”

Oops. “Nothing.”

You turned away to look ahead, trying to calm your frenzied heart by observing some uninteresting cars on the expressway. A proper lady like you knew better than to gawk at someone for a prolonged time, yet you still got caught red-handed. How embarrassing.

Slumping further into your seat, you pouted as your weird way in mitigating the internal humiliation. “Just…keep your eyes on the road.”

While Choso did as he was told, he held back a low chuckle. “And you could keep your eyes on me.”

“But I wasn’t—!" A complete lie, but you still shouted with flailing arms, defenses hopeless.

Yet, what really disarmed you was Choso’s faint smirk.

One minute, you were frustrated and flustered; the next, you were simply stunned at the amused tilt in his lips, all because his smile was so rare. There was something enchanting about the cocky way Choso grinned as he stepped on the accelerator, the maniacal gleam in his eyes as he stared ahead, the bright colors of the Tokyo evening that glittered behind him.

“Jesus, take the fucking wheel,” you muttered like a starstruck teenager.

“What’s wrong?” he asked harmlessly because this man definitely heard you over the music. He threw you a quick glance even as the smile on his lips stayed. “I mean, you could keep staring if you want to, bimbo. I won’t judge.”

Mouth opened to back talk, your ambitions immediately got cut short as Choso moved a hand from the steering wheel to your inner thigh. While you hid your gasp at the unexpected contact, you only hoped that he did not notice the way you tensed under his searing touch.

But Choso noticed, alright.

“Hm, why are you so quiet all of a sudden?” Choso pressed again, his focus still on the lane as though he was not caressing you, massaging you, his thumb running in hypnotic circles centimeters away from the dull throb between your legs,

How he managed to maintain his composure in such a situation was a mystery given that you, unlike him, gripped hard at the side of your seat.

“Because…” you hissed after mustering all effort.

Then, you stopped.

How could you respond while completely distracted by the tightening in your stomach, practically holding your breath as his hand crept up higher? It was not helping that his fingers were so thick, that he had a small dagger printed by a knuckle, that his scent was reminiscent of burning maple leaves during a New England fall.

“‘Because…?’ Because what?” Choso asked, knocking your thoughts loose momentarily because he—on the other hand—did not miss your incomplete answer. His nails dug into your skin, nearly making you yelp at the incredible burn. “What’s the issue? I don’t remember you being this shy with the other therapists around.”

The steeliness that underlined his tone…

Was Choso still hung up about your frisky flings with Toji and Sukuna? Even though you should have never gotten sexually involved with them in the first place, you never would have thought that Choso would hold such a grudge.

In response, you cautiously observed his side profile. “Are…you jealous?”

He closed his eyes momentarily at the question, indescribable salaciousness etched on his lovely face, and he shuddered slightly. His eyes opened back as a sharpened glare, Adam’s apple bobbing as the result of a drawn-out swallow.

“Oh, baby,” he growled, and it was the backward tilt of his head that left your mind spinning, “you have no idea.”

Traveling beneath your dress, his hand roamed a little higher, then higher again, his pinky finger brushing at your panties’ seam such that if he decided to travel up any further, he might just feel how miserable and soaked you were.

Just hurt me, you begged silently, legs squeezing together subconsciously as you feel a delicious heat churning through your body, biting back a moan when Choso gripped hard at your thigh before smacking at the flesh.

“Harder,” you accidentally pleaded out loud, immediately clamping your hands over your mouth.

Unsurprisingly, your insanely handsome driver turned to you. When you met his gaze, you only wished that you hadn’t because Choso had a gaze that left you weak in the knees, the murky pool in his eyes enough to leave you whittled to a frantic and blubbering mess.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to—"

“Well, I'm curious what your husband would say,” he interjected, debauchery bleeding in his tone, “when I send you home my handprints on your ass cheeks?”

Wow, that really took you aback.

“‘When?’” you bleated. Not ‘if?’

“Yes, ‘when,’” he confirmed with a hoarse thrum. His overflowing confidence clouded your head with something heady, something intoxicating. As much as you think you should tell Choso to stop, words were lodged in your throat once he forced your legs apart with one firm pull, and while you found pleasure in the pain, it was his next suggestion that sent sweet vibrations straight down your spine: “Because I wonder what would happen once I spread you over the car hood and took you right there.”

last chapter || next chapter

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[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 16

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 22.7k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: Firstly, I wanted to thank you all for your patience and your support, but I still wanted to apologise again for taking so long to update. So much has happened in the past month but in between the tears and all the stress, I'm so happy to still find a comforting escape in writing. This one is a bit shorter than the last one but we're finally getting to those bits of the story that I wrote at the very beginning and I'm just stoked to finally dive into it in detail and with all that this story has come to be. Enjoy!! xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 |

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(13/01/2014 06:43) I can't believe you're cheating on me like that and actually telling me...

Alex chuckled at her dramatics when he checked his phone about half an hour after he'd sent that first picture. It was a quick one he'd snapped of the set they were currently at, a big carpeted living room with Matt's drum kit settled at the very end of it, Nick's bass and Jamie's guitar in their stands on their usual places and a mic stand right in the middle where Alex was meant to stand.

There were clearly a few big lights on the sides of the room and a big camera on someone's hands just off frame that picked at Ella's curiosity when she opened the picture the second she woke up.

So she'd asked where he was and, about ten minutes later, Alex had so easily answered, 'Recording the Arabella music video x' that Ella's jaw dropped and she stood in shock for a fair few minutes before sending that dramatic text back.

Alex snickered to himself, and tuning out the way Jake instructed the crowd in the room around them for the next scene they were about to record, he kept his focus on his phone to continue chatting to Ella.

(13/01/2014 06:58) In my defense, we were told we had this arranged last week and there's nothing I could do about it x

(13/01/2014 06:59) Yeah, sure, that's what they all say.

(13/01/2014 06:59) Darling...

(13/01/2014 06:59) Alexander?

(13/01/2014 07:00) Stop. Not the full name :(

(13/01/2014 07:00) Yes, the full name because you've got some audacity Mister.

(13/01/2014 07:00) Are you angry at me? :(

(13/01/2014 07:01) It's not really your fault but it doesn't mean I'm not giving you the cold shoulder after this.

(13/01/2014 07:01) Ella! That's not fair :((

(13/01/2014 07:01) Yeah, well. Life isn't fair, is it?? Who is this director anyway? Better be a good one or else...

(13/01/2014 07:01) Jake Nava. I hope it's enough to never explore that 'or else' x

(13/01/2014 07:01) Fuck of!!!!! Jake Nava?!?!?!? As in Jake Nava who's directed a bunch of Beyonce and Britney Spears music videos?!?!?

(13/01/2014 07:02) I think so? They mentioned him working with Tina Turner and the Stones too x

(13/01/2014 07:02) Okay, yes. Fucking hell. Should've started with that Alex.

(13/01/2014 07:02) You're funny x

(13/01/2014 07:03) I can hear you rolling your eyes from here sweets x You're forgiven but you better make it up to me, I miss you xx

(13/01/2014 07:03) You know I already am trying to figure something out x We have another single that's missing a music video anyway so... Miss you too darling, so much xx

'Arabella' was the second to last single that was going to be put out by March before their last, 'Snap Out Of It', which had been chosen to be put out by the middle of the year. Now that the 'Arabella' music video had already been taken care of, Alex tried steering the band's team into calling for Focus Creeps' help for the music video for Snap.

It took some convincing, since the lads were still on tour until mid February where they'd have their last show somewhere in the Midwest of the States, but they figured the video could be conceptualized to be recorded without the need of the lads being there. The Brit Awards were just a couple days after the last show of the tour so, the band needed to be on British soil as soon as possible.

Ella and Ben had come up with a good idea for the video so that the lads were involved in the footage but not have to be present on set: they'd use the concept from the recording of AM and portray some sort of breakup scenario between the actress they'd have to hire for the job and Alex. That way, Domino Records could also use the video to announce the AM recording documentary coming out before the Australia/New Zealand tour in May.

Brilliant. It was really a brilliant idea but Alex needed to see her. There was no way he'd be able to hold up until June, when they'd headline Bonnaroo, for him to see Ella. Over six months was way too long and he needed to do something about it.

Alex managed to convince his manager, with just two weeks of anticipation before the day the music video was meant to be recorded, that going to Los Angeles to be present during the recording of the 'Snap Out Of It' was a good idea. He had already bought his ticket before getting the greenlight, thinking it would be fine if he just snuck away from his responsibilities for less than a full day.

Thankfully, after he got the approval, the days had seemed to fly by. Before he knew it, he was bidding farewell to the lively crowd of Saint Louis, Missouri and almost dashing off the stage just to make sure he was closer to seeing her soon.

The guys had laughed seeing him hastily walk away from them at the airport, rushing to get to the horrendously long security line at almost two in the morning whilst the lads took their time to go around the airport for some food and coffee since their flight wouldn't leave until a five in the morning.

The flight from Saint Louis to Los Angeles wasn't that long, merely four hours, but every minute seemed to elongate the more Alex stared at the clock as he waited for the rest of the passengers to board the plane. When they were finally up in the air, he found himself getting more nervous to see Ella again. In his head, he imagined himself flipping through the pages of the scrapbook she'd given him, the one that was in his suitcase so he couldn't exactly get it at that very moment.

Eventually, he fell asleep, all the energy that had lingered in his body after the show had run out and a few hours later, he was being woken up by the voice of the pilot announcing they'd be landing shortly.

Eight in the morning in LAX was an absolute headache, especially avoiding the paparazzi that seemed to perpetually find their places around the arrivals gate, and getting a damn taxi, but he would carry the burden of it all since it meant he was closer to surprising Ella. She had no idea he was coming, he had purposely kept that to himself but he'd had to tell Ben so that he could give him the address for the house they were filming at.

He hated that he couldn't properly stay, not when the Brits were due in three days and they had to rehearse for their presentation. His manager had already warned him against suddenly staying and missing the event; it would look bad if they pulled out of their spot in the show at the last minute, especially when they were nominated for multiple awards.

His flight back to London was later that night, meaning he'd only be able to stay to see Ella and Ben recording the video and then he'd have to go back to the airport. He hoped that by the time he had to go, the video was wrapped up and Ella could have some time with him—even if it was just to say a proper goodbye.

Twenty minutes after walking out through the arrivals gate, he got picked up by a taxi and the drive over to the set was meant to be about forty minutes long. It ended up being over an hour thanks to Los Angeles traffic, which was weird for it being Sunday morning, but not surprising nonetheless.

Ben opened the back door for Alex and after a quick greeting, the singer carefully carried his case up the concrete stairs and into the house, setting it down softly in a corner of the kitchen so that no one heard him coming in. He wished he had recorded it all because when Ella turned around, once Ben had walked back into the living room where everything was set up, and saw Alex, she shrieked and ran towards him.

"What are you doing here?!" She said quickly and breathlessly, like the impact from crashing into his chest and being wrapped in his arms had stolen all the oxygen from her lungs.

He couldn't even find words, not when his smile was so big on his face now that he had her in his arms again. She pulled back, her eyes swimming all over his face as if to make sure he was real, her hands clutching onto his shoulders tightly.

"Oh my god, what are you doing here?" She whispered this time, entirely in shock of it all.

"I had to make it up to you." He shrugged nonchalantly, but the glimmer in his eyes showed the intent behind his presence there.

She smiled brightly, her eyes creasing at the corners in a way that had Alex swooning, "Oh you sure did."

Ella leaned in quickly to press a kiss on his cheek, his eyes closing instantly in bliss at the feeling of her lips on his skin, and then she let go of him because catching a glimpse of Ben standing there with a massive smirk on his face reminded her of the amount of people present in the room and watching their interaction.

"Alright, back to work everyone!" She clapped her hands twice to get everyone's focus away from what had just happened and to lighten the mood and avoid any questions, she joked,  "Boss is here now, gotta make sure it's perfect for him." Cheekily, she turned slightly to look at Alex and winked before turning back to Lydia and going back to work.

Before going back to the scene they'd been shooting, Ella introduced Alex to Stephanie Sigman who was playing the main girl in the music video. They laughed about the state in which she was while meeting the singer, clad in just a pencil skirt and a lace bralette with her makeup all purposely ruined from the tears she'd been uncontrollably shedding for the video.

Alex stepped back and admired Ella and Ben working their magic, appreciating every bit of her concentration and mentally pointing out the little quirks she had as she worked that he'd managed to catch throughout the years.

His smile didn't leave his face the whole time, even more so when he watched the multiple clips Ella had gotten of them recording the album playing on the TV. His stomach doing somersaults inside him when he saw how he smiled at Ella behind the camera in those clips, and he was almost sure that if anyone saw him right then, they would've found him blushing and grinning like an absolute fool.

He was a mess for her, always had been. And that became even clearer to him each day.

An hour must've gone by and Alex was entirely entranced by Ella. He'd felt someone's stare burning on the skin of the side of his neck and when he turned to see who it was, he found Ella's PA, Lydia, staring at him. Only giving her an embarrassed smile back, he prayed she hadn't noticed the way he couldn't peel his gaze off Ella.

He'd gone a bit further away from where everything was set up so that Lydia couldn't catch him again, and he grabbed a water bottle from the kitchen counter to appear casual as he continued watching the crew work.

It was a task tuning his own voice out as time passed, as the song kept repeating over and over, or was fast forwarded or skipped back to a certain point. So he pulled out his phone to update his manager, who in exchange reminded him that his flight left around ten in the evening so he'd have to be at the airport by seven or even a bit earlier, considering how busy LAX got. Alex had gotten so absorbed by the conversation that he didn't notice Ben taking over and letting Ella wander away for a bit.

The speakers blasted the song all over again, making Ella sway her hips softly to it. She mumbled the lyrics under her breath as she walked up to Alex and when she stood beside him, she nudged him gently with her hip and smirked, "This is a banging tune."

Alex smirked back, pocketing his phone and not answering his manager's last text about whether or not he needed a ride to the airport to look at her and then back to where Ben was working his magic with the camera, "Oh well," he shrugged nonchalantly, "You're a great muse."

A weight lifted off his shoulders after finally confessing that to her, and he could only hope that it would push things forward. Maybe with this she'd realize there were many songs about her in the record than she'd thought. He knew she knew 'Arabella' was about her, he'd managed to scoop it out of Flo, and though he hoped her reaction to it was much different now, he still wanted her to know of the songs that were for her in AM.

Ella didn't even have time to think of a response because her mind had gone blank for a few seconds and,  when she managed to gather her bearings, she heard her name being called by Ben to help him with a shot in which he was using the projector.

What the fuck?

With the new piece of knowledge, Ella found herself analyzing every line of the song as the recording continued and it was entirely her fault when she messed up a few takes from how distracted she was.

She didn't even know what to say when Alex told everyone he'd ordered lunch, after he'd ask Lydia when they'd planned for the lunch break to happen, and when everyone sat happily around the place, chatting and enjoying the lovely Italian food Alex had ordered, Ella was oddly silent.

Ben and Alex were engaged in lively conversation and Ella was just standing there, a few feet away from Alex, stuffing her face with the spinach ravioli bolognese that he'd of course gotten just for her. She'd wanted to run to a room in the house and scream into a pillow when he handed her the plate, along with a wink that had almost made her knees buckle.

If Alex had written this song about her, then which other ones could also be about or for her? Ella found herself trying hard to think about each lyric in each song but her brain was a mush. She'd have to listen to the album on the way home and think hard to figure out if the songs she'd even manage to have a feeling were about her, weren't just her reaching and attributing it to herself in confusion.

But first, she needed to finish recording the music video.

Slowly but surely, Ben and Ella wrapped up the shoot around half past three and it took them all about an hour to pack everything up in the small bus so that they could go back to the office.

Ben helped Alex put his suitcase in the back along with some of their camera cases and when he went inside the vehicle, Ella had called him to sit beside her. There was so much going around inside her mind, endless questions that she wanted to ask but with everyone around and the fear of bursting the bubble that they were in, she stayed quiet and chose to just rest her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and sighing in bliss when she was enveloped by the scent of him.

"Missed you." She mumbled after she felt him kiss the top of her head, warmth seeping through her pores and a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

Alex hummed, resting his head over hers and closing his eyes to just revel in the moment, "Missed you more."

They fell asleep like that, the million words that formed a tornado in their heads being dulled down by the feeling of having each other close again.

Almost an hour later, they arrived at the office and Ella knew it from the way Alex's face contorted when he looked at the time on his phone that he had to go soon. She picked up her bag from her desk and turned off her computer quickly, doing a quick sweep of her office to check that she wasn't forgetting something and then she looked back at him.

He was about to say something, but in a desperate moment to have him for a little longer, she suggested, "I can drive you to the airport if you'd like."

He hesitated for a split second, knowing it would be a far longer ride because of it being rush hour, but the prospect of spending that time sitting in traffic beside her was way better than in the backseat of a taxi.

Alex nodded, "Sure, but I can drive." He had seen her yawn multiple times the past few minutes, "You're knackered darling."

"You sure?" She asked but she genuinely wanted to agree to his suggestion, he didn't wanna drive at all for the rest of the day.

The singer hummed, extending his hand out to her and she handed him the keys with a soft smile.

"Right, let's go." She nodded once, walking around her desk and intertwining their fingers to leave the place.

Ella couldn't care less about the glances they got as they waved everyone goodbye, all of them very obviously staring at their hands.

Alex's case rolled beside him as they walked out and he swiftly put it in the trunk of Ella's car when they got to it. Ella had almost run to sit on the passenger seat as soon as he opened the car and he'd laughed to himself at the eagerness on her face.

When he got into the passenger car, he took the piss out of her for her seat arrangement. She scoffed and ignored him, and then he looked up and saw that little mirrorball with a little cowboy hat perched on top and he smiled brightly.

"I missed seeing this." He admitted, bringing his finger up to poke at it and the thing started swinging softly and the reflection of the sun on it was like glitter inside Ella's car.

Ella smiled at it, "So pretty, isn't it?" She yawned yet again, behind her hand as she buckled her seatbelt and then got comfortable in her seat, almost like she was going to fall asleep. "M'gonna get you one when I go back home."

Alex started the car with a smile, finding the way she sleepily slurred her words incredibly endearing and he listened to her slurred words for another fifteen minutes as she guided him out onto the highway.

After she'd fallen asleep, Alex found himself enjoying every minute in that car. He didn't care that the traffic had made the journey over an hour long, because he spent it hearing her soft snores and catching glimpses of the pout on her relaxed face, covered by her hair that she blew softly with every exhale.

With a soft squeeze and rubs on her thigh, Alex woke her up slowly as they got closer to the airport. She'd slowly woken up from her slumber, blinking languidly and yawning before she gathered where they were and brushed her hair away from her face as she stretched out in her place.

"Good morning sunshine." Alex joked with a grin on his face, and Ella blushed at the pet name she hadn't expected.

"Hi." She said shyly, continuing to brush her fingers through her hair to detangle it and then diving into her bag to get a piece of gum and pop it in her mouth.

They had to go all the way to level five to find a parking spot and when they walked out of the car, they were hit by the cold winds of February and the loudness of the place. Ella took out a jacket she kept in the boot of her car and put it on, but despite that, Alex still wrapped his arm around her shoulder and clutched her tightly to him as they walked through the parking lot and onto the lifts so they could go down three levels and into the building so Alex could check-in.

There was a long line to the check-in counters and there were so many people at the airport that the noise around them started making them anxious. It didn't help at all that there were so many paparazzi around the place, so Alex kept his sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose for as long as he could and quietly chatted to Ella as they waited so as not to bring attention to themselves.

Alex only lifted his sunglasses when he got to the counter, Ella's hand tightly clutched in his and he would only let go when he needed to hand in his passport and show his phone with the confirmation number, intertwining their fingers again the second he had his right hand free.

Ella bit her bottom lip to try not to stupidly smile every time, but a grin fought her attempts every time and she freely let herself show how happy his touch made her.

Her smile only faltered when the woman behind the counter asked for Ella's ticket and passport and she had to sadly say she wasn't going with Alex. And only to add to the blooming despair, when the woman checked in Alex's bag and handed him his boarding pass, she let them know that he needed to hurry up because he'd only have a bit over an hour to get through security and get to his gate.

Knowing how LAX got at that time of the day, the lack of any time left together hit them both at the same time and they flashed forced smiles at the woman before thanking her and walking away. Alex hoped that putting his sunglasses back on would help conceal the sadness shining through his eyes.

Walking towards the security line, the looming goodbye weighed heavy on their chests and seeing more and more people joining the back of the line as they approached it only made it worse.

"You really need to get in that line now." Ella sighed heavily, her words coming out pained because she hated having to be reasonable when she didn't want to be.

Alex hummed mindlessly, not really wanting to take her advice into consideration. He cursed having had to agree to performing on the Brits to begin with, he couldn't care less about any good promo for the record or if being invited on stage meant they were assured to win one of the categories they'd been nominated for. Whatever award it was, he'd surely put it away in a box later—he wanted to stay, and he wanted Ella.

His pace slowed as they continued walking, like he was convincing himself more and more of ditching his responsibilities for her. But Ella walked ahead of him, hands still intertwined so he had no other option than to match her pace and follow until they finally stood in the back of the line.

Alex looked at her with a pout, one that she matched but her words came out in an effort to soothe them both, "It's fine. I'll see you soon, yeah?"

Ella scooted a bit closer to his side, and rested her head on his shoulder. Alex wrapped his arm around her waist and kept her close to him, letting his head rest over her head with a deep sigh.

"Yeah." He replied softly, his accent thick and warm as it reached her ears and it almost had her shivering, "Bonnaroo will be fun."

At that, she slowly picked her head up and showed the massive grin that brought to her face, "It will be. I cannot fucking wait."

Even in the most mundane of settings, she looked breathtaking and Alex wanted nothing more than to cup her face and crash their lips together. Not a care in the world that they were in front of the largest crowd, none of them knew just how badly his chest hurt to think about having to leave her yet again.

His eyes dropped to her lips and Ella's breath hitched in her throat at the clear sight of it. In a panic, she changed the subject, "Are you going straight to rehearsal when you get back?" It wasn't that she didn't want that, it was that she didn't know if she could take it. If she could have another taste without wanting to drop to the floor and plead for him to stay.

Alex cleared his throat as he nodded, "Yeah, I land in the morning so I'm probably going straight to the venue."

"When is it again? I need to find a way to watch it." She doubted there could be a way to, she'd most likely would have to be looking through YouTube to find their performance and who were the winners.

"Wednesday night." He frowned slightly trying to search through his mind for a way that would let her watch the show but when he couldn't come up with anything, he promised, "If I can figure out a way for you to watch live, I'll let you know darling."

She hummed, satisfied with that answer, "Thank you sweetness."

They stood in silence then, close to each other and relishing in the warmth each other brought them as the line slowly moved forward. There was only a bit further that she could accompany him in line, she knew that she'd be bothering everyone behind them if she decided to stay with Alex up until it was his turn, and the officer standing by the entrance would ask her for a ticket to make sure only passengers went through, so she'd have to leave as soon as he walked past the glass fence that separated the security check area from the rest of the space.

So it was only a little over ten minutes that Ella stood beside him, before she had to make the decision of peeling herself away from him and actually saying goodbye.

She didn't want to and it was clear in the way the words struggle to slip past her lips. Her frown appeared softly on her face and it deepened as the farewell rose up her throat.

"I need to leave the queue now, sweets." A pout on her face that tied with her furrowed brows made him want to just take her with him, "They're gonna ask for my ticket and everyone behind me will be annoyed I'm taking space in the line when I'm not even leaving."

Alex scoffed at the idea, "Fuck them." He mumbled softly only for her to hear and she chuckled at the firmness of his words.

Turning so that her chest would be flush against his, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him in a tight embrace. Her eyes fluttered close, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone behind them and it helped her trying to commit the feeling of being in his arms to memory.

Ella heard him hum in bliss and the soft sound stole a smile from her, one that made the apples of her cheeks rise and tint with a faint pink hue that he got to see when she pulled away.

They were so close though, sharing breaths as they took in each other's faces. She wanted to see the brown of his eyes one last time before he left, so she delicately brought her hands to the sides of his face to prop the glasses up on the top of his head. Her smile only got bigger when she saw the richness of color in front of her, his pupils dilating ever so slightly at the action.

Words failed her, she didn't really know what she should've said but nothing came out, every syllable stuck in the back of her throat when her fingers slowly dragged down the skin of his cheeks, a rush of something that felt like a shock to her system when she felt his stubble beneath the pads of her fingers.

She knew she should've asked if it was alright, if she could give into the temptation but she didn't. Ella just closed the distance and finally ended their agony, the feeling of her soft lips on his had Alex inhaling sharply, fingers digging on her waist and pulling her impossibly close.

It was her that hummed this time, when he took over and guided the sweet kiss. It wasn't desperate like they would've expected and it was probably because of the amount of people surrounding them, but it was just what they needed. Like some sort of comfort, a promise of what could become if they would just give into it all, maybe not right then but soon.

And soon couldn't come fast enough.

The kiss didn't last long, but Alex knew that wasn't deliberate just from how firmly she was cupping his jaw. Just as firm as he was holding her waist, not wanting her to move from that spot at all. But she pulled back with a soft smile, her eyes swimming all over his face as if in search of a clear answer and her heart soared in her chest when he leaned back in for another brief kiss.

One that she broke yet again, but he followed with a string of pecks that made her giggle.

But her giggles were interrupted by the man standing behind them clearing his throat, making Alex and Ella turn to look ahead of them and that's when they noticed everyone was waiting for them to follow ahead with the moving line of people.

"Sorry." Ella apologized for the both of them, not really meaning it because she was elated, though her elation was simmering down into a bittersweet feeling at the fact that they were about to move right into the entrance of the security area and it meant that she had to leave.

Alex walked quickly up to where he had to stand, and unfortunately, he found what Ella had said would happen to be right because the officer asked for her ticket and when she awkwardly admitted to not having one, she was asked to step out of the queue.

Thankfully, the officer opened up the railing for her to easily walk out without having to bother everyone behind Alex.

Ella didn't instantly listen though, because she quickly turned back to Alex and cupped his jaw again to pull him in for a quick peck before she said, "See you soon, okay? Love you sweets."

He didn't even have time to reply because she was gone in a matter of seconds and he couldn't even take his time to follow her path with his gaze because the officer rushed him forward and into one of the aisles.

Suddenly, the line started moving faster now that he was in the aisle and he was rushed through. Ella stayed up until he grabbed his belongings and he turned to briefly wave at her, mouthing a quick 'love you' before he was ushered to leave the area by one of the officers that had just cleared him through the scanner.

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Despite being incredibly giddy on her way back home, the long tedious hours she spent by herself while she waited for Alex to text her that he'd landed had been plagued by a storm of thoughts that pushed her into the most pessimistic of states.

Ella knew that if he'd gone for a second kiss then that'd mean something, but she had no idea how to approach the situation at all. They wouldn't see each other until June, four months being apart surely made her courage waver like a house of cards out in the open. Did she even want to properly think about all that she felt when it came to him when she knew there wasn't much at all that they could do about it at that very moment?

It just seemed horrifying and cruel, and Ella had no idea what to do. So she made the decision to let Alex be the one to make the first move, let that be the clear sign that it was something reciprocated.

A stupid decision really, because Alex was just as conflicted about it. He had thought about it the whole flight, falling asleep eventually and dreaming of being able to see her again and just kiss her until their lips were swollen and they had to gasp out for air continuously, dreaming of telling her how she drove him crazy and how he didn't want it any other way.

The kisses shared at the airport were never a topic they touched when they texted after he left. And at first, it was clear that they were walking on eggshells around each other, like they were trying to sway the conversation in that direction but neither of them committed to it. Until Ella took the full day of texts without a mention of the kisses as a sign that it wasn't something he was thinking of and she forced herself to text him like she normally would, Alex following her lead and leaving his unshared thoughts in the back of his head.

When the Brits day arrived, Alex had let her know she could watch the official stream of it on YouTube. He'd comically said, "I haven't a clue of what that means really but that's what Steve told us." She'd cackled at that and called him a grandad, finishing the call wishing them good luck.

She'd wanted to scream when she saw the lads walking onto the red carpet, but she couldn't because she was hidden away in her office with her earphones on after having excused herself for her lunch break. She'd asked Lydia to postpone the two meetings she had later that day so that she could get away with watching the entire award show without interruptions.

And it had been fun, watching the lads perform 'R U Mine?' with the massive AM blazing trails in the other stage. She was amazed at the grandiosity of it all, and she couldn't begin to imagine how hot it must've gotten in that venue due to the fire.

They all looked so good, despite the very different attire they had on. And she was, of course, very biased when she thought just how stunning Alex looked—with that metallic green blazer over a black button down, that he had the top open to showcase the golden chain he always wore, black jeans and his hair styled the usual way.

Whilst the rest of the show went ahead, she mindlessly listened to it in the background as she replied to emails. It wasn't until the 'British Group' category was announced that she went back to put her whole focus on the stream and she squeaked in excitement when Lily Allen announced the Monkeys were the winners.

Ella went from chuckling stupidly at Alex's smolder to cooing over Jamie and Katie sharing a peck, just like Matt and Bre did, to then snort out loud when Alex started his speech. Her snort morphed into a string of giggles that ended in a cackle when he said the last sentence, and she shook her head entirely amused watching them walk back to their table.

Yet, she hadn't expected to laugh even louder when the next category they'd been nominated to came on, Album of the Year, and they won again—this time she'd thought Alex would actually give out a speech about the record but she was comically surprised with an improvised rant about rock 'n' roll that even the lads were giggling about behind the singer.

The way he had to mute his own cursing while thanking everyone had her in stitches already but it was the sudden mic drop by the end of it that made her have to cover her mouth with her hand so she didn't laugh louder than needed.

When she caught her breath back, she reached for her phone and typed a quick message to take the piss out of him for it all.

(19/02/2014 14:06) You're so fucking funny. That speech was something else and the mic drop just brought it all together. Congratulations you clown, so proud of y'all xxxx

She'd gone back to work after she sent that text and eagerly waited for his response, one that came when she was about to exit her office and that had her smiling like an idiot.

(19/02/2014 14:19) I might be a tad tipsy but I'm glad you enjoyed it, love xxx And thank you darling, love you so much xxxxxx Wish you were here :((( xxxxx

That 'love' had assured that her loopy smile stuck on her face for the rest of the day and she had ended up laughing at herself because of the stupid effect he had on her.

She felt pathetic in the best way possible.

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By the time the end of February rolled around, Ella had gotten a nice surprise.

Alice was in Los Angeles to record some songs for Pale Waves' sophomore album and Ella was honestly excited to have a friend over on her side of the pond after being away from everyone for so long.

Pale Waves had stopped touring with AM after the holiday break ended, so that they could focus on finishing their album and Alice had gotten a massive opportunity to travel to LA to work with one of her favorite producers.

The singer had let Ella know a few days before she was due to land on American soil and Ella had made sure to align her schedule to Alice's so that at least they could hang out once or twice while she was there.

It had been on the 26th that Alice had a free day so Ella had taken the day off from work to take Alice around the city and catch up. The girls hadn't seen each other in so long and they only texted ever so often so a lengthy chat was pending.

That was all it really was to Ella: catching up with a friend and making sure that she enjoyed her stay in the city. Nothing more.

Ella had picked her up in the morning and they'd had a lovely breakfast at a cafe by the beach, coffee and pastries shared over mainly work talk. They walked over to the beach and sat down as they watched surfers take on the cold water to ride some waves and Alice let her listen to some demos she had brought to work on when she got there, and a few songs she and her band had already finished.

After they'd spent a fair few hours there, and the sun started bothering them, Ella guided them back to her car and took her to a place she'd recently grown to love more than before: Sunken City.

Yes, it was prohibited to be there and she was risking police fines every time she went but the beauty of the ruins was unmatched and she figured Alice deserved to see a place like it, Ella knew she'd enjoy it.

They'd had to look for a parking spot a bit far away from the place and act very casually as they walked towards the ruins.

Both girls acknowledged the few people there with a tilt of their chins and a soft smile came to their faces when they saw the strangers there doing just what they both were planning on doing, smoking.

Alice had rolled a pair of joints in the car before they walked out to make their way to the intriguing place, and they were planning on carefully trekking around to find a good spot and smoke for a bit before Ella had to drop Alice off back at the hotel she was staying at.

"What was this then?" Alice asked, intrigued by the graffiti on the sides of big rocks that looked humanly impossible to have been put together.

Ella had Alice's hand in hers as she guided them both around, taking careful steps since she knew slipping and falling over would end up poorly, the other arm stretched out to the side so she'd have some help with her balance.

It was good Alice had decided to change her usual platform heeled boots for some flat doc martens that were much safer in this situation.

"This used to be part of the neighborhood back in the 1920s, but there was a landslide in '29 that took a bunch of the houses here into the ocean and people had to relocate." Ella explained softly as she focused on the last few feet she had to get to her favorite spot there.

When she reached it, she carefully pulled Alice closer and sat down at the edge of the tall flat rock first before she could help Alice sit down next to her. The shoulders almost pressed together, their thighs brushing against each other.

"After people moved away, they demolished what was left of the houses and nature just left this after decades." With quickness, Ella took the lighter from her jeans pocket and offered it to Alice. The singer had the joints in her possession so she took them out and offered one of them to Ella, placing the other one between her lips and lighting it up before giving Ella the cowboy boot shaped trinket back.

Ella lit her joint alive and took a long drag, watching Alice take in every bit of the view as she let out the smoke she'd inhaled. "Isn't it gorgeous?" The sky was changing due to the sun coming down to rest on the horizon, a soft orange and pink coming to life behind clouds and it was a promise of a picture perfect sunset to come soon.

Alice hummed, it was eerie yet stunning. Trying to make out the street art on the ruins was becoming distracting as the weed started relaxing her system, her eyes catching the rusted spray paint cans discarded in between the creases of the rocks.

"You come here often?" Alice frowned when she realized how familiar Ella seemed with the place and it honestly surprised her because Ella didn't seem like the type to frequent places like this. Especially not when a huge 'no trespassing' sign welcomed you into the place.

Ella chuckled in amusement at her clear confusion, and took another drag before she answered, "I do now, yeah. I had only driven past twice before but one of my friends from work managed to convince me to come here to take some pictures at the start of the year and after he taught me how and when to come in without getting caught by the police, I've been coming here to clear my head."

Alice snickered in amusement, lifting her joint and waving it briefly in the air to mock, "Clear your head, yeah?"

Rolling her eyes and turning to look straight at Alice, Ella scoffed, "Shut up. You do just the same to clear your head."

Alice cocked her head at Ella's raised brow that felt like a challenge to refute her words. The singer only shrugged with a low chuckle, placing the spliff back between her lips to inhale and a smirk formed on her face after she let the smoke out.

"Amongst other things." Alice teased, her pupils dilating as she stared right into Ella's eyes and she purposely let her gaze drop to her lips.

Ella knew exactly what she was doing, so she smirked to herself and replied with a sarcastic, "Yeah, I'm sure." as if she was fully disinterested.

But Alice made Ella's breath hitch in her throat when she confidently let her hand come over Ella's clothed thigh and squeezed as she said, "You know."

She squirmed in her place when a rush of heat tingled all the way down her spine, nodding mindlessly when she replied, "I do."

Her eyes fell on Alice's lips and she gulped at the proximity they found themselves in. The magnetism Alice had was something that Ella couldn't really explain.

"You really do." Alice added, leaning closer into Ella's space.

Their lips brushed once, Alice teasing Ella with a taste of the feeling of their lips together again and Ella was finally the one to fully close the distance. It had been a while since they'd shared a kiss so Ella's memories of back then flashed to the forefront of her mind in a split second, like the singular touch of their tongues melting together was enough of a deja vu to undo a box of memories that reeled through her mind like a film.

It didn't take long until they started being vocal, gasps for air and soft moans that they swallowed, and it all encouraged them to use their free hands for something. Alice let her hand wander up Ella's thigh until she got closer to her heat and she silently instructed Ella to open her legs. All while Ella rubbed up and down Alice's silky skin, feeling the goosebumps that broke on it from their kiss and cheekily letting her fingers wander to the insides of her thighs and up until she hit the hem of her shorts, only to make Alice a bit louder.

However, all of the sudden, as if her brain was begging her to remember, the memory of the kiss she'd shared with Alex at the airport managed its way through and made her stop.

Ella had pulled Alice slowly until the singer had lifted herself up and was about to straddle her when Ella harshly pulled back and broke the kiss, hurriedly saying, "Allie– No. I can't."

Alice saw the way the color drained from Ella's face and she quickly sat back down beside her, a frown taking over her expression and she genuinely asked Ella, "Are you okay?"

In Ella's brain there was a horrendous turmoil that had shook her. A heavy weight of guilt came down on her chest and almost made her wheeze out for a breath. She nodded as she struggled to get herself together, her words came out choked out thanks to her dry mouth and throat, "Erm, yeah. I just– I'm sorry."

She felt the need to apologize because, after all, she had been the one to start the kiss. But Alice wouldn't have that, so she shook her head and brushed Ella's hair behind her ear and shoulder, "Ella, don't apologize." She kissed her shoulder softly in reassurance and smiled sweetly at her to add, "You don't owe me a thing, no need to apologize."

"It's just, I–" Ella tried to explain, but she didn't know how to even begin to put the mess of thoughts together into coherent sentences.

Alice shook her head once more and with her hand coming back to rest over her leg, this time she let it innocently rub soothing circles on her skin as she continued calming her down, "You don't have to explain anything to me baby, it's okay."

The singer could almost hear the erratic thumping of Ella's heart because of how quiet the director had gotten. The dancing of the waves on the shore took over, as well as the birds flying over them and the chatter of the strangers they'd walked past earlier.

"Don't go quiet on me, it's fine." Alice broke the silence after letting Ella revel in it for a few minutes, they were about to finish their spliffs and Alice took the hanging of Ella's shoulders as a sign of her relaxing again. She knew she'd have to be the one to push her out of the pit she'd thrown herself into so she playfully nudged her and encouraged, "C'mon, tell me about how it was the first time you came here and how badly you were shitting yourself about it."

Hearing Ella laugh over her choice of words was music to Alice's ears and, just like that, they spent the rest of their time there. Lighting up cigarettes after their joints were finished, chuckling and admiring the sunset beautifully forming in front of them.

Before they left, they took a quick few pictures together. They had no idea when it would be that they'd see each other again so they wanted to keep a memory. Cheek to cheek, they posed for Alice's camera and they took a few selfies like that. The first ones were just of them smiling, and then Alice stuck her tongue out as Ella made a kissy face—the singer's tongue poked at Ella's pursed lips making her giggle after the shutter was pressed. In amusement, Ella copied Alice and stuck her tongue out too, letting their tongues touch shamelessly for the camera.

The sunset had long before it would die down but Ella knew it was around this time of the day that the cops came to check on the place, so she rushed them both out of the place and when they got to the car she breathed in relief. It was always like that when she went to Sunken City, she wasn't a rule-breaking girl even if she tried to.

As she started the car, Ella made Alice send her the pictures to her email and the singer did just that. Ella would've taken a few with her own phone but it had run out of battery, unfortunately. On the way back to her hotel, Alice took over the aux and she enjoyed introducing Ella to music she had never really heard before—she took a video of Ella bobbing her head and humming along Blink-182.

Meanwhile, Alex was sitting at a circular table with the rest of the band, along with Bre, Katie and Kelly, and he was rather tipsy at the NME Awards. They had already accepted three awards and they were fucking buzzing with energy—and alcohol. He couldn't stop his fingers from sending a bunch of texts and he kept them coming despite Ella's lack of replies.

It wasn't until he was at the afterparty, once he had found himself in a boring conversation he could tune out, that he pulled out his phone to check for the hundredth time if Ella had replied that he checked Instagram and his heart had dropped to the ground at what he saw.

Alice had posted the selfie where she and Ella had their tongues out and captioned it 'always want a taste of my favourite cowgirl xxx' and right after, she'd posted the video of Ella dancing to a Blink-182—he had excused himself and brought his phone speaker up to his ear to hear the video and he rolled his eyes in anger hearing their laughter and Alice singing and encouraging Ella to keep dancing with the sweet talk she always gave the American girl.

The jealousy streaming through his veins was bitter and hot, and it was enough to cloud the excitement of having won six awards that night.

His thoughts started going into the worst direction and he was fucking fuming just thinking about how he was almost entirely certain they'd shagged again.

Alex stomped on the bud of the cigarette with fury and he started throwing back drinks consistently all through the rest of the night.

All the alcohol he ingested backfired on him and he had ended up drunk dialing Ella's phone way too many times, until he passed out on top of his bed in the same clothes he'd worn all night.

When he woke up, his mind was foggy enough to have forgotten about just what had sent him down a spiral, but when he groaned as he lifted himself up on the bed and checked on his phone, a text from Ella brought it all back and he just wanted to be sick right then and there.

(26/02/2014 20:54) Sweets, I'm so sorry I didn't answer your calls! My phone died and I only just got back home from spending the day with Alice. I'm really tired, honestly, and I bet you're asleep by now so I'll call you tomorrow okay? Love you and congratulations!!!! Don't let the 'hero of the year' award get to your head though, it's already big as it is ;)) xx

If 'spending the day with Alice' wasn't clear proof that she had shagged the singer, Alex didn't know what it was. Out of pettiness he didn't reply, leaving Ella on read the rest of the day and he watched the phone ring and ring multiple times in the evening but he never answered her calls.

He felt ridiculous but he was angry and he knew he had no legs to stand on but he just couldn't help himself. Though, he knew he shouldn't be directing his annoyance at Ella. He didn't even want to think about how Alice fucking knew he had feelings for Ella and yet, she went ahead and fucked her, and rubbed it on his face again.

His fingers hurt and felt numb by the end of the day from how hard he'd been clenching his fists all day thinking about the horrendous situation. The hangover he was sporting didn't help either, and the only thing he could rely on was the rich rainfall of warm water inside his shower where he spent almost an hour trying to calm down.

Before he went to bed, he warily sent her a text, one that sounded so disingenuous it made him cringe after he sent it.

(27/02/2014 17:26) Sorry, I've been so hungover I had to turn my phone off to be able to peacefully sleep it off. I'll call you when I start feeling like a person again. Thank you for the love, take care Ellie xx

Ella instantly knew something was off, and she wanted to be sick when she got that text while she was stuck in traffic on the way back home. She had a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel the rest of the way back, but she couldn't find a reason for his behavior. Despite her gut telling her the opposite, she had to attribute it to his supposed hangover, and she just hoped it was nothing else.

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When March came around, so did Breana and Matt. The couple arrived in the morning of the second day of the month and Ella had picked them up from the airport with a bright smile on her face.

Her heart swelled in her chest having the pair back in Los Angeles and they all had the best time having brunch in West Hollywood before they went back to Bre's house. There they sat down in front of a flat screen and played the Arabella music video which had just come out an hour before.

Ella had gasped at the sudden lewdness of the video and by the time it ended, she asked so many questions about how it had been to shoot all that. She'd subtly asked about the scenes that Alex had to film, since she was still playing on loop the scene of Alex walking into a woman changing and it had left her uncomfortably squirming in her place. Thankfully, this time Matt hadn't chosen to joke around and actually told her how different it had been and Ella found herself curious about the director's methods.

The rest of the day had been spent catching up and Ella had been the one surprised by the news that Matt and Bre had decided to look for a house in Los Angeles and move in together. Ella had squeaked in excitement and hugged them both tightly, joking about how she'd have to go into whichever place they would decide to go for with gloves because she was sure the first thing they would do would be christening every corner and surface of that house.

By the end of the night, they'd been sleepily brainstorming what could be done for Bre's birthday and they had decided to just go to a pub or a club and celebrate there, knowing how long it had been since they'd partied together, Matt agreed saying it was a needed evening after all that time.

So when the fifth of March rolled around, they had found themselves, along with a handful of Bre's friends, at a club where they celebrated the birthday girl. Ella hadn't planned on drinking that much but Bre kept convincing her of taking shot after shot and she'd ended up giggling uncontrollably as they danced.

When Ella had been sent for another round of shots though, a guy came up to her and started chatting her up and she'd flushed much more than usual thanks to the alcohol in her blood. The guy had ended up saving his number in her phone and making sure to have her call him, to which Ella hesitantly agreed.

Bre had seen it all and she'd asked all about it but Ella didn't have much to say, the guy and every word he uttered was so forgettable that the whole interaction slipped her mind and she just shrugged when she mentioned he'd given her his number.

Ella had let herself forget about it until the day of her birthday.

She'd decided to just stay in that day, inviting a few of her work friends over as well as Bre and Matt. There were multiple wine bottles and a few snack plates as well as charcuterie boards, so it was gonna be a calm night of pure chatter and good food.

It was around eleven in the evening that Bre decided to bring the cake she'd gotten Ella and light up some candles to sing her happy birthday, before some of her friends left. So Matt facetimed Alex from his phone to make sure he was present for that moment, like he had promised the drummer to do earlier when he had called to wish Ella a happy birthday.

Alex had stayed on the phone for a longer time though, hearing as Ella's co-workers left after midnight, wishing her happy birthday and thanking her for a lovely night. He'd been smiling the whole time and he had laughed along with Bre, Ella and Matt when the three of them were the only ones left at Ella's house.

They'd started cleaning up by the time the clock hit one in the morning and, since it wasn't really that entertaining, Matt had let Alex go. Alex said bye to Bre and wished Ella a happy birthday one last time before he hung up the phone, and it was just as he was hearing Matt promising to call him in the next few days, that he heard Breana saying something that just felt like another knife to the heart.

"Why didn't that guy from the other night come? I thought you were gonna invite him."

He didn't even get a chance to hear Ella's response because Matt ended the call, and he wallowed in self pity for no reason because Ella had shrugged and waved her best friend's question off by clearing up, "I didn't even call him after all. Wasn't really interested, if I'm being honest."

Yet, Alex hadn't heard those words and he was left thinking about it the rest of his day. But this time, he didn't let his jealousy turn into a cold shoulder treatment, because in all honesty it had been painful to read the meek messages he sent her after he saw Alice's posts. He'd remembered how badly he'd fucked up that night at the pub when Ella was in London and he didn't want a repeat of that so he had eventually had to suck it up and force himself to go back to normal.

So he knew he could swallow it and move on, it was hard ignoring the ache in his chest though. He shook his head at himself when he found his thoughts going back to the words Bre had said and forcing himself to stop thinking about it was a challenge, but he had to remind himself that he was in no position to react like that and that if he let it poorly show like he had before, he could fuck things up.

And that was the last thing he needed.

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The rest of March and the start of April had been filled with everyone throwing great news around and the smiles seemed to be always present in everyone's faces.

Nick and Kelly had surprised the group with the news of a baby on the way, making Ella and Bre cry on facetime when they called and showed the scan pictures of the baby growing in Kelly's belly.

Jamie and Katie had been finishing up the last details of their wedding and the American girls had gotten loads of pictures of every single dress Katie had tried on throughout her dress shopping week that she spent going from shop to shop accompanied by her family, Florence and Kelly.

Bre and Matt had managed to put an offer on a house in Hollywood Hills that they fell in love with and they had gotten it accepted, meaning they just had to endure about a fortnight of paperwork in order to close the sale and finally say the house was theirs.

It was when Bre and Matt finally got the keys to their house and were able to take out the 'sold' sign out of the grass by the mailbox, that they invited everyone over for the weekend so that they could celebrate everyone's news.

Nick, Jamie, Kelly and Katie had all been in the same flight so they arrived together at Matt and Bre's new house in the early afternoon of a Friday in the middle of April. Alex had basically spent most of his time back home doing a press tour due to the rise of the record—their label wanting the band to go around doing interviews and magazine covers and articles to ride the high of it all—but he had done it all alone, and he had a radio interview in the morning of that very Friday so he had to leave in a later flight and got there late in the evening.

They'd planned a barbecue for Saturday and since the new house was so close to the Universal Studios amusement park, they were all thinking of spending the first half of the day there until they had to leave so everyone was ready for their late night flight back home on Sunday.

Ella had woken up early and gone to the shops to get snacks and drinks and whatever else she thought they might need, making sure to not forget the housewarming gifts she'd bought for the couple: a funny welcome mat that said 'come in' but if it was flipped upside down it changed into 'go away', a box of condoms and a fun little set of leather cuffs. Ella had giggled when picking the things up and she'd giggled some more when wrapping them up.

She cursed the couple a few times when stuck in traffic for deciding to live so far away from her, but when she got there and saw Bre and Matt open the door and wave at her as she pulled into the driveway, Ella cooed at the image.

"I'm so fucking happy for you two." Ella said after she crashed into them and wrapped them in a group hug, her eyes closed and a big smile on her face.

Bre dropped a kiss on her cheek at the same time as Matt said, "Thank you Ellie."

When Ella pulled back, she smirked, "I might place some bets in a bit. See how fast you manage to knock her up."

Matt's smirk showed instantly on his face and Bre cackled next to him. He proudly puffed his chest out and shrugged nonchalantly as he replied, "Well it's not like we aren't practicing."

"Of course you are. Filthy bitches." Ella joked with a giggle stuck in her throat, but before she could continue her taunting, she turned around to head back to her car, calling out behind her, "C'mon Matthew, help me with the things I brought."

The drummer followed her but scolded her for going against what they'd told her the previous day on the phone, "Ella, we told you we got everything."

And Ella clearly remembered them saying how they had everything covered and that the only thing they needed was her to be there but she wouldn't have that, she wasn't showing up empty handed. So she easily sing-sang, "Don't care!" as she walked up to her car and opened the trunk.

Matt was handed a pair of grocery bags with a few pints of ice cream and a few cuts of meat, managing to carry a strawberry cheesecake she'd bought for everyone to have later and Bre came up to them when she saw the big beer case that was left to be brought out of the boot of the car. Ella thanked them before she grabbed the gifts and her big bag with clothes and a towel for her to use after the pool.

Before she went out to the backyard, she helped put the ice cream, beer and the cheesecake in the fridge whilst Matt took the meat to the barbecue to season it and start cooking it along with the rest of food they had outside.

Bre showed Ella the array of alcohol they had already cooled in the fridge, but Ella opted to start it calmly with just a beer.

When she walked out through the open sliding doors, she was met with a scene that she'd missed very much. The chatter full of thick accents and those laughs she knew so well flooded her with a warm sense of familiarity and she almost wanted to cry.

"Hi!!!" She loudly greeted everyone, her smile so big that her eyes creased at the edges.

A chorus of "Ella!" was heard and everyone scrambled around to come up to her and greet her with hugs that swelled her heart with love.

She'd spent a little longer hugging Nick and Kelly, tearing up when touching the little bump that Kelly was sporting at about fifteen weeks. And those tears had managed to slip down her cheeks when she finally got her arms around Alex's frame.

"Missed you, sweets." She whispered in his ear, sniffling after the words left her lips and rubbing her thumb over the fabric of his white shirt.

Alex swayed them softly for a few seconds before plating a chaste kiss on her cheek and pulling away to reciprocate, "Me too darling."

The first thing they did was start the barbecue so that they could eat before getting in the pool as they waited for the sun to rise higher and burn brighter on them all.

The lads proudly showed Ella the High Green sign they had managed to put up on the wall right by where the grill was placed, and she giggled at their excitement only to run to her bag and get her camera to take a picture of them all in front of it.

As they waited for the food to cook, they sat down on the lounge chairs and caught up on what they'd all been up to. Everyone was more focused on Nick and Kelly's story about how they found out about the baby and what had been said on the first scan they'd had, so most of the conversation was centered on the little O'Malley who, according to the doctor, was coming at the end of September.

The food had been thoroughly enjoyed, loud chatter and laughter joined the chirping of the birds and the sway of the leaves from the wind, which was doing little to keep them fresh thanks to the sun now burning down on their skins. Most of everyone's clothes had been discarded so that they could be fresh as they ate and drank but eventually it got too hot and Matt was the first one to jump into the pool.

Bre and Katie followed shortly after, jumping in hand in hand and swiftly coming back up with bright smiles on their faces. Nick had taken the path of going down the stairs by the shallow end of the pool and he had expected Kelly to do the same but she jumped in just like the girls had done. Everyone laughed at the way Nick's face fell in shock and the deep breath he took after Kelly came back up.

Ella was finishing the last of her steak before getting in the pool when Alex stood up and shed himself off his shoes and his shirt which had already been fully opened. She'd been trying not to gawk at his figure even if she wouldn't be obvious behind her sunglasses, so she'd forced herself to keep her gaze on her plate as she stabbed on the last cut of meat she had.

That's why she hadn't noticed the way everyone in the pool exchanged mischievous looks with the singer.

Alex startled her by wrapping his arms firmly around her middle from the back and she'd gasp after swallowing the last bite of food she had in her mouth.

"Alex don't!" She pleaded in desperation, she dropped her plate on the chair beside her hip and that was when he finally picked her up and started walking forwards with her in his arms.

Ella squirmed in his hold, kicking her legs but it did nothing to have him put her down. If anything, she was only accentuating just how close they were because the more she moved, the more she felt him clearly against her.

Her cheeks tinted pink and she got hotter as he got closer to the edge of the deep end, and she heard him chuckle in her ear after she begged once more, "Please, Alex! Don't!"

But before she could try her luck once more, Alex leaped forward and made the both of them jump into the pool together.

She came up with a gasp and took a deep breath before turning around to find Alex and shove him, "You bitch!"

The laughter was loud around them, and Alex looked far too pleased with his actions. The corners of his lips pulled up in a gorgeous toothy grin that made her melt and she let herself come back down into the water to cool her face and brush her hair backwards.

She realized then that her glasses were gone so she scoffed as soon as she came up to the surface, "Alex!" She whined loudly, "My sunglasses!"

The cackles that her words elicited were obnoxiously loud but she sucked it up when the singer looked down and instantly dove down to find them. The group watched Alex's blurry silhouette move under the water until he came up with the black shades in hand and a soft smile.

He purposely got close to her and wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her in when he came back afloat, "Sorry, darling. Here you go." He said smoothly, handing her the sunglasses which she took with a glare but she still wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"Thanks." She muttered before putting the glasses back on, her stoic face being a challenge to keep on when he left a wet kiss on her cheek.

Bre had elbowed Matt before he could say anything about the pair because she knew her boyfriend was just biting his tongue to tease them about their proximity. Instead, she chose to start a conversation about their plans for the next day and suggested a visit to Universal Studios since they were merely fifteen minutes away from the place.

From then on, conversation had flowed smoothly and the next few hours had been spent drinking and chatting, laughing and smoking. Music had started playing from a speaker Matt brought out sometime in the middle of the afternoon and it kept playing until they decided to act like children and start chicken fighting.

Kelly had opted out so she and Nick had been assigned as 'referees' to 'keep an eye out on the fairness of each round', or whatever Matt had said along those lines.

Bre had managed to knock Ella down the first round, undoubtedly because Matt had kicked Alex and made him falter so Ella was thrown off balance and fell backwards into the water.

So while Ella waited to see who she had to fight next, from Bre and Katie who were currently fighting, she'd gotten lost in the way the sunshine gleamed on the girls' skins and how stunning they both looked.

No one could or should blame her for staring really—the two girls were models and for a damn reason.

She'd been lost appreciating their features being accentuated by the golden sunlight that Alex's touch suddenly on her face made her heart jump out of her chest.

His right hand cupped her jaw and he turned her face to the side so she could look at him, fingers firmly on her skin and, when his thumb came up to brush against her bottom lip, her breath hitched in her throat.

This is it, she thought. All that was going through her mind was how it would be then that he'd kiss her again. And she was certain that she would collapse right then and there.

Except, when Alex leaned forward, he never closed the distance. Instead, he opened his mouth to whisper, "You're drooling a bit there, darling." in a mocking manner after having found her gawking at the girls.

Suddenly, his touch was gone and so was he, only leaving her with the warm breath that left his lips as he chuckled to hit her parted mouth.

Ella had no idea why she felt so defeated by the turn of events and she cursed herself for being an idiot and getting her hopes up with suck quickness.

She had to act like nothing had happened, gulping harshly and rolling her eyes, turning her head back around to watch the girls, but she wasn't watching anymore. Not really. Her gaze was stuck somewhere in the background, staring into a brick wall as she bit the inside of her cheek and the feeling of her heart dropping and her blood running suddenly cold made her shiver.

Swimming to the stairs, she came out of the pool and poured herself a shot of whiskey. She tossed it back in a split second, hissing to herself when it burned down her throat and then she walked up to her bag to get herself a cigarette. She needed the sweet relief of nicotine so desperately then, to numb herself down a little—she wished she'd brought some weed with her.

"Idiot." She mumbled to herself when she couldn't get the lighter to spark, having to let out a deep sigh before trying again and when it finally lit up the end of her cigarette a familiar orange hue, she took a long and deep drag.

After that, every touch that Alex left on her skin, deliberate or not, burned like a cigarette burn that she was so painfully aware of. Each brush of his fingers sparked more doubts in her mind, she was so distracted by her own stupid worries that she was trying so hard to ignore, that she'd missed many words directed at her.

The latest one being Katie asking her if she could help her bring the dessert out for everyone. Ella apologized for making her repeat herself but nodded as enthusiastically as she could and followed the model inside to get the cheesecake out of the fridge.

Singing along to a Stones song that was playing outside, Katie and Ella worked steadily as they cut a piece of dessert for everyone to enjoy. There was something about cutting the pieces of cake that reminded Katie of her upcoming wedding and that's when the realization came to her that she hadn't told Ella the good news.

"Wait, did we tell you we have a date for the wedding yet?" The knife hung in the air as the model looked at Ella with eyes wide, praying that she had told her but just forgotten.

But Ella shook her head and smiled at Katie so she wouldn't worry about it, "No! When is it?"

Still, Katie's face fell and the color of her cheeks paled a bit as she apologized, "Oh god, I'm so sorry." She quickly plated the last piece before dropping the knife on the sink and then grabbing Ella delicately by the shoulders, "It's on May 15th, please tell me you can come."

The specific date rang in Ella's head and her memory itched with the faint knowledge of something happening around those days. She didn't really remember though, so she asked, "Is it here?" before she could check her calendar.

"London." Katie answered quickly, "This venue we really wanted but were waitlisted for called us last week and told us they'd gotten a cancellation for that day and we just said yes."

The elation shined through Katie's face and it melted Ella's insides, "Awh, I'm so happy that worked out for y'all."

Katie pulled her in for a hug and mumbled against her ear, "I know, we're buzzing too. But please tell me you can come."

"I think I have something scheduled for May but I don't think anything important." Ella commented before pulling away from the hug, knowing she'd have to make sure on her calendar and since it was outside, she pointed towards the sliding door and said, "Let me check." before walking quickly towards her bag to retrieve her phone.

When she was back in the kitchen, Katie watched expectantly as Ella skimmed through her phone. Her heart dropped right with Ella's when she watched Ella's smile falter to then curse under her breath, "Oh shit."

"Don't tell me it's bad news." Katie pleaded, as if she didn't know Ella's expression meant just that.

Ella cringed when she looked up and sighed heavily, "I have a shoot that whole week and the next one."

"Can you reschedule?" Katie asked quickly, even though it seemed almost impossible if the shoot was two weeks long.

Ella considered the possibility for a split second but she remembered the long document she'd signed and she remembered reading something about there not being a possibility to change the dates of the shoots, "I signed a contract..."

Katie started fiddling with her fingers, trying to come up with a solution, "We'll pay whatever the penalty for infringing it is– You have to be there!"

Ella pouted and nodded in agreement but she went back to her phone to find the contract and see what exactly it said. She frowned as she searched through her email, giving Katie a quick rundown on what the ambitious project was for, "The contract is with the university I went to. We're shooting this short film in Boston and submitting it to the Los Angeles film festival."

"So you can't come?" Katie barely mumbled, as if saying it louder would mean it to be true.

But, the volume of their words didn't matter because Ella found the ten page document and when she found the section talking about bookings and flights and venues, she winced and bit the inside of her cheek as she read over and over to understand that the answer wasn't gonna help at all.

"I'm afraid I can't, no." Flights and accommodation had already been booked, locations to film had already been separated and the proper city permits for the project had been granted for those dates, making it all impossible to be pushed to another date. "Fuck..."

Katie pouted, her heart heavy in her chest and she walked the few steps that separated her from Ella to envelope the director in a hug, "I'm so sad now."

"I'm sorry." Ella mumbled, hating that she would have to miss such an important event for her friends.

Katie didn't want Ella to think it was on her though, so she pulled back and shook her head, "No, babe, you're fine. This is so last minute, don't worry." Katie could also see how big of a thing that shoot would be for Ella and her career so she wouldn't want her to feel like she had to pull out of the project for their wedding. It didn't mean she wasn't devastated by the knowledge of her absence that day, "Just heartbroken you won't be there."

Placing her phone on the kitchen counter, Ella clutched Katie tightly to herself and agreed, "I know, me too."

With two plates in hand each, Katie and Ella walked outside and handed the dessert around. There were still four more plates to bring so the girls walked back into the kitchen to grab the last of them.

As she was about to hold two plates, Ella stopped in her tracks and turned to Katie with a suggestion, "Wait. How about I compensate for this?"

"What?" Katie asked, confused.

"For not going to your wedding."

Katie's brows rose in understanding and then she waved Ella off softly, "It's not your fault, you don't have to compensate for anything."

Ella nodded, coming to terms with that but a smirk showed on her face when she pushed, "Okay but let me be able to participate somehow."

Her smirk was contagious, a soft one pulling at Katie's corners of her lips as she said, "Right, I'm listening."

She had no idea what to expect and it was a nice surprise when the American girl suggested, "Do you wanna have a photoshoot tomorrow?" with a cheeky grin on her face.

A soft "Oh?" left Katie's lips at the idea of it.

She was about to say yes, not really a doubt in mind that a photoshoot with Ella would be a dream, but when Ella mischievously added, "We'll need to buy some things in fun stores but I reckon it'll be a good wedding gift." then it clicked in Katie's head what the girl was suggesting.

"Is this what I think it is?" Katie whispered, as if the naughty idea that had been thrown in the air wordlessly was meant to be kept secret.

Ella giggled at Katie's eager face and nodded, "Yeah."

"Okay, deal." Katie put her hand out for Ella to share, which she did with a louder string of giggles and when it was settled, Katie squeaked softly and added, "Oh I'm so excited!"

Finally grabbing the last four plates, they walked back outside. There, they handed those who were missing their sweet food and when Katie sat beside Ella at the edge of the pool with their feet dipped in the warm water, the model gave everyone the sad news.

As soon as Katie said Ella wasn't gonna be able to attend, everyone loudly talked over each other but the main word everyone had said was, "Why?" so Ella easily explained the reasoning behind it all.

With pouts and grimaces on their faces, the group came around to understanding after a wave of possible solutions that were just too much of an inconvenience for both parties.

"I'll steal Katie tomorrow, if you don't mind Cookie." Ella let the guitarist know, trying to hide the smirk that appeared on her face by eating the last of her cake slowly. "You know, to make it up to her."

Jamie stared at the pair with curiosity, he could see that they were planning something but he had no clue what it could be, so he joked, "And when are you making it up to me?"

Ella had to press her lips together not to give it all away, and she forced herself to act nonchalant as she shrugged, "Soon, I suppose."

Jamie hummed, narrowing his eyes at her and then his fiance but when they only giggled to each other and said nothing else, he figured he would be able to find out what it would be soon enough.

That night, after spending more hours messing about in the pool with alcohol and lit cigarettes in hand, Ella and Katie left to go back to Ella's house.

Before they could go to sleep, Ella went online and booked a hotel room, one that they both liked and that thankfully was close to The Grove so that they could go shopping and then to their shooting location quicker.

Going shopping for lingerie with Katie was fun. Ella had never been one to feel properly comfortable going into one of the stores because she always felt watched and judged but being there with Katie, who had actually pushed her into the changing rooms so that she could also try some sets and cute babydolls, was entertaining and Ella enjoyed herself.

"These are gonna look gorgeous dusting away in my closet." Ella joked as they left with an arm full of shopping bags each. "Thank you though, that was fun." Katie kissed her cheek loudly and, after taking a break to go grab something to eat, they got some gorgeous heels for Katie to wear.

After getting to the hotel and checking in, everything had gone incredibly smoothly and it just brought the biggest smiles to their faces. Katie trusted her wholeheartedly and she was a model so this wasn't her first rodeo, therefore it all added to the easy and enjoyable journey the afternoon was being.

The thing about boudoir photography was that it was tricky to find that balance between erotic and mysterious, showing much more than usual but keeping it enticing and evoking lust, hunger and passion. But with a woman like Katie posing for the camera, Ella found it so easy to play in so many different angles and spaces that just worked on the subtle storyline they were keeping for it.

By the time the clock hit five in the afternoon, the girls took the last of the pictures and once the sun started to set, they got everything they'd brought and went back downstairs to the lobby to check out and rush back to Matt and Bre's house.

When they got there, everyone was ready to head to the airport. Multiple suitcases were waiting by the door whilst everyone was having one last drink in the living room as they waited for Katie and Ella to come back. Thankfully, Katie had taken her case with her so she'd put everything away in the hotel before coming back so that she'd be ready to go when they stepped foot in the house.

The minute Bre stepped back into the living room with Ella and Katie in tow, everyone downed the last of their drinks and scrambled to get their things and leave as soon as they could. Their flight was leaving in a few hours, and they knew just how busy LAX would be on a Sunday night.

That was why the goodbyes exchanged were hasty and brief. They got the eight minutes it took for the big van they'd ordered to take them to the airport as the time to bid each other farewell.

Katie squeezed Ella tightly before she got inside the vehicle and Jamie had cheekily asked what they'd done as he hugged Ella goodbye, only to get a giggle and an obviously faux, "I don't know." as an answer.

Kelly and Nick briefly trapped her in a hug and Ella made them promise to come back soon so that she could do a little maternity shoot for them. Kelly cooed at the thought and took her up on the opportunity, making sure to promise that the second they'd plan on coming back, she'd be the first to know.

Alex, who had been helping Matt put the luggage in the back of the van, walked up to Ella last. She was still facing the van's open door so when he came up to her, he trapped her in a headlock and dipped his face so he could press a long kiss on her cheek.

The two couples inside the vehicle saw the way Ella's face lit up at the contact, her nose and eyes scrunching up and her lips pulled into a loopy grin.

Ella's arms wrapped instinctively around Alex's waist and she turned in his hold to hide her face in the crook of his neck. She left a few pecks there before she pulled back and whispered, "Be back soon okay? I'll miss you."

Alex's gaze went all over her face and she noticed the way the brown of his eyes gleamed when the lights of the house's porch hit them. She licked her lips subconsciously and, though his eyes dropped to see her plump pink mouth, he didn't close the distance.

Instead he nodded, pressing a kiss on her forehead and he mumbled, "Me too, so much." against her skin. The fact that he hadn't used this opportunity to kiss her made her thoughts tangle in confusion, she had thought that he'd be the one to make that first move considering she was the one to initiate it the last time.

Still, she let her eyes flutter close and inhale his scent, relishing in his hold and the force with which his fingers dug into her flesh like he didn't want to let go.

But he did. Leaving her exposed to the wind and her skin broke out in goosebumps when she watched him walk up and into the van, closing the door behind him.

Ella took a few steps backwards, until she stood beside Matt and Bre by the front door, and she waved them goodbye as the van started to move. She managed to see the singer blowing her a kiss through the polarized windows, her stomach flipping inside her as that familiar feeling of longing settled in her again. That same old weight on her chest that forced her to take a deep breath to be able to collect herself.

The second the vehicle was out of their sight, she turned around to look at Bre and Matt and sighed with a pout, "Well, I gotta go. I'm in work early tomorrow."

Bre whined when she said that and she hugged her so tight as she tried to convince her to stay that Ella'd had to beg Matt to save her from the model's hold. Matt hugged her just as tight but way shorter, only to bother her, before he jokingly ushered her away.

"Yeah no, off she goes. I have someone to do and many places for that to happen at."

Ella loudly gagged and flipped him off, "Disgusting!" She grabbed her keys from the back pocket of her jeans though and waved them goodbye, "Love ya'! See ya'!"

Even if she didn't want to know whatever they were going to do, she was so glad to see the couple smiling so brightly as she drove away. She lit up a cigarette, rolling down her window, to forget about how badly she missed that feeling of being madly in love—to forget about a certain person that came to her mind, and that kiss she'd wanted him to give her, only to squeeze her heart and make it ache more.

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It was merely a bit more than a week that Matt had stayed in Los Angeles, taking Breana with him to the Australia and New Zealand leg of the AM tour.

If Ella thought it had been horrendously difficult for her to keep up with Alex and the rest of the group when they were in Europe, she'd almost wanted to cry by the time half of the dates were done and she had barely spoken to him, or even Bre for that matter, a handful of times.

They'd never catch each other online, only seeing the messages each other sent hours before and it just multiplied the longing and the great feeling of the distance that separated them tenfold. It was so discouraging and to Ella it just felt like more cruel proof of why it was never gonna happen between them both. For Alex, the deep cut of his despair pushed him towards a sea of realizations that he was too afraid to navigate so he pushed the feelings to the back of his head for the time being.

Ella was following along their shows and whatever promo they were doing over on the other side of the world through Twitter, which had become her main source of updates, and that was how she'd found out Alex and Matt had spent one of their free days in between shows to go to a few radio shows.

One of them was Triple J, and she'd found a link to the full interview from some tweet going around.

With an idiotic smile on her face, Ella listened to Matt and Alex chatting to the radio host, laughing over the way Alex just let Matt take over for him and when the drummer would make him answer something, he'd purposely keep it brief and giving a 'boring answer' as he'd said himself after answering one of the questions.

After a few minutes of chat, the host introduced the acoustic version of 'Do I Wanna Know?' the lads were doing and she smiled like a fool when hearing the first strum of the guitar. She really loved this song.

Softly, she sang along, low enough to just enjoy Matt and Alex's voices. The lyrics were gorgeous and she found herself gushing over Alex's writing talent all over again. The 'darling's he sang made her tummy flutter and she felt the heat rushing to her cheeks.

When the song ended, Ella liked that they included a bit of them messing about and talking about other people's covers of the song they'd just performed, she giggled at the way Alex taunted Matt to answer for him and she wished she was there to actually ask him what he had actually thought of the Miley Cirus cover—one which she was gonna check out after she watched the next video.

The host announced a cover coming next and she was intrigued by the weird clue Matt had given the audience. It sounded like distorted audio and she was so curious to know. Though she still had a giggle at the random and funny chatter going around.

She made a mental note to ask for a 50 Cent song whenever she and the lads were out, because she gasped in surprise when Alex said he'd never experienced one of his songs in the club.

When Matt revealed it was a Tame Impala song, Ella felt her heart leap in her chest. After having a good laugh over Alex saying, "Oh my god, I've gone cross-eyed" as Matt explained all he had done to get that weird audio clip, Ella's hand started getting clammy when Alex said the song they were covering was one she knew very well because of him: 'Feels Like We Only Go Backwards'.

To the forefront of her mind came the memory of the time he had shown it to her, her heart racing again. She came back to reality when Alex said something weird and once she finally tuned in, she realized it was him saying Nick's full name backwards.

She relished in the amusement she got from the brief interaction and the proof that he was in fact saying the full name backwards correctly, but then the host transitioned that into the introduction for the cover and Ella froze in her place.

It was like she was holding her breath up until the first verse, her heart kicking faster against her ribcage like reminding her she needed to breathe.

That song had become something special for her, sometimes hurting a bit too much to hear it come on as it reminded her of the distance between them and all of her hopes dying like forgotten flowers, but hearing him singing it made something shift inside her.

The first verse felt like a shock of electricity, like she came alive by the underlying meaning behind having chosen this song. And when he sang the second one, she stupidly wondered about what it was that he did that showed he had made up his mind about her.

She felt like a fool, trying to find meaning behind a song he hadn't even written himself and then, something dawned on her.

It was like a little voice in her head was calling her a fool and shocked her alive again with the knowledge of what song had been performed before the cover and once Ella remembered the lines to the opening song of their latest record, she felt like the breath had been knocked out of her.

Hastily she went to rewind the video, only to find in the queue of the next videos just the actual video clip of them performing the song in acoustic at the radio station, so she quickly clicked on it and let it play.

Ella had never heard any song in the record thinking they were for or about her—with the exception of 'Arabella' and 'Snap Out Of It'—, but when she heard the first line to 'Do I Wanna Know?' trying to tie any meaning with herself, the first line was like being pulled out of the water after having been under for so long.

Have you got colour in your cheeks? She gasped, her shoulders hung and all she could think about was when did she not have her cheeks tinted shades of pink and red when she was around him.

'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat. She had no idea how it had flown over her head that it was those exact words he'd said to her when he made her listen to the Tame Impala song that night in Rancho de la Luna. And how she'd forgotten about the fact that she was pretty sure this song had been recorded after that night, almost by the end of their recording time.

Suddenly, the pre-chorus and the chorus felt like a knife to the heart. It had been there all along and she'd completely missed it and now she had no idea if it was too late. Was it too late? She didn't know if she could just ask that, if that would even work. And then, she wanted to cry over the fact that it would be a bit over a month until she could finally see him again.

Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so, I wanna know what time it shuts.She reckoned that meant him trying to figure out if she was open to something after going through her heartbreak, and she thought that him resorting to writing a song about it rather than actually telling her anything was exactly what he always did or so Florence said.

It made so much sense, and then Ella got curious about there being any other songs there in the record for her. She had no idea how to figure that out without reaching and turning entirely self-absorbed so to twist every line into something self-referential that wasn't at all what Alex had meant.

It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you, but I don't know if you feel the same as I do.She groaned and let her face fall on her hands and let out a pathetic squeaky cry of frustration. It took her back to the pool when he had cupped her jaw and turned her head to the side to look at him. She couldn't forget the rush she felt at the hope that sparked up her spine when he did that, the stupid hope for a kiss that never came. Not even when he left for the airport.

But we could be together if you wanted to. Her brows furrowed and she confusedly stared into her desk. Did it mean he had always left it up to her to make the next move? Did it mean he was waiting for her to say it all? She thought it was hardly fair, knowing how long it had taken her to put it all together. Hell, it had been well over a year since they had started recording the album and almost a year since they wrapped up recording and it was all ready to go.

Sighing, she let herself enjoy as much as she could there rest of the song, every line now rumbling the walls of her brain more intently and she knew she wouldn't be able to stop thinking about the meaning of it all and the what-ifs had she realized all of this before.

Once the song was done, it was a masochistic impulse that made her replay the video, only this time she focused on watching Alex as he sang. She cursed herself when she noticed the way she was gawking at Alex on the screen, her gaze going from focusing on his mouth to his hands and then taking in his whole appearance and biting her bottom lip. She had to focus on his face and what she could find shining through his face that could give her answers, and instead she was thirsting over him. As per usual.

When her second watch of the video was over, Lydia knocked on her door interrupting her train of thought, her PA's presence reminding her that she was at work and needed to get back on track.

So Ella couldn't really give into the full over-analysis of everything she wanted to keep doing, and she had to wait all the way until she left work for her to continue her horrendously confusing overthinking session.

She put on the AM cd to play in her car and tears ran down her cheeks by the time 'Arabella' came on. There were so many things she wanted to ask that she just couldn't because she wasn't brave enough to just call him and demand answers and it was frustrating.

It was beyond her understanding why she decided to even grab her phone and pull up Alex's contact to send a message that hinted at her having seen the radio show, hoping with all of her that it was enough for him to know she knew.

(08/05/2014 19:02) I'm so jealous, that beach looks wonderful sweetness!! Though I would be shitting it thinking about sharks, clearly I watch too many movies hahahah. Say hello to the guys for me, yeah? And tell Yellamo he better send me those tim tams he promised me xx

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The Cook's wedding came around rather quickly and it was quite noticeable that Ella's presence was missing that day.

Ella had been sad all morning, sulking in the provisional office they'd given her and the rest of the team in charge of the short film in Boston. Alex kept her updated by sending her loads of pictures around the venue and videos of him walking around, and he had even been begrudgingly allowed to go see the bride with Ella on facetime, she had teared up seeing Katie all done and ready in her gorgeous white gown.

Alex had been lured into staying so Ella could be part of the little toast Katie's family and friends did for her, even giving her the opportunity to partake in it and Katie blew her a kiss through the screen as a thanks for her lovely words.

When the singer went back to the groom's room, Ella congratulated Jamie profusely and wished him the best day of his life. The guitarist thanked her wholeheartedly and raised his champagne glass towards her before taking a sip in cheers to the well wishes.

Alex spared Ella from the ceremony, only texting her after Jamie and Katie walked through the aisle as newlyweds and flower petals were thrown all over them. He sent the video he'd recorded of that moment and did a funny summary for her.

(15/05/2014 12:27) Ceremony was long as always but you would've cried during the vows, I'm so sure. They were oddly emotional coming from Jamie but this might be a sign for me to have him help me write some songs now that I know he has it in him x They look good the Cooks, don't they? I hope the video of them walking down the aisle has sent xx

Ella giggled at the choice of words and she teared up a little more watching the video Alex had sent, the newlyweds were glowing and she was so fucking happy for them her heart could burst inside her chest.

(15/05/2014 12:39) They look fucking stunning!! I'm gonna cry!!!! x And stop being nasty, we shall see if your wedding vows are any better than his when the time comes, Turner x

He had no idea why the idea of his own wedding with Ella in attendance made his heart kickstart like it had been asleep, it suddenly raced in his chest and it rattled so loudly in his ears that he felt sort of lightheaded.

(15/05/2014 12:41) Are you gonna rate my vows then? xx

Alex waited for the answer as he fidgeted in his seat. The flashing image of his wedding not having Ella as a guest but as the one who'd walk up to him left him breathless and he clutched his phone tighter. This was the first time he ever thought of it and the feeling that flooded his insides was nice, warm and fuzzy and just entirely perfect.

That was when it all started dawning on him, that notion which he had been pushing away into hiding at the back of his head for so long—that was the moment it started creeping out to meet him.

(15/05/2014 12:42) I'll be front row giving you live commentary on them, with sound effects and all xx

The singer had no idea what to do with himself and the sudden void in his chest from that answer. Did she not share the vision he had? And even more importantly, was he really this despaired at the prospect of her not fantasizing about it too? He swallowed it all when Miles and Nick called out for him to join them as they were about to light the cigarettes perched between their lips, quickly typing a message to send Ella in response before hiding his phone in one of his pockets.

(15/05/2014 12:43) Of course. Best seats for you darling, if that ever happens x

Ella didn't even get the chance to see that message come through because the couple of the hour called her through Facetime. Turns out Katie had waited until after the ceremony to finally give Jamie the lovely gift she and Ella had come up with before she left LA that day. Ella quickly snuck away to the lunch area of the office that was almost empty by then since it was gonna be a short day at the office due to the next day being an early shoot, and she freely was able to enjoy the call with the couple.

"Remember how Ella said she was gonna make it up to us?" Katie almost sing-sang as she walked up to where she'd left the book which had been sent by Ella all the way from LA already wrapped up and with a cute little note.

Ella watched from where Katie had set her up how Jamie's brows furrowed in confusion at the topic being brought up, "Yeah?"

"Well it's your turn to see how that went." Katie walked gracefully up to her husband and bent over just enough to throw her arms around his shoulders and place the present on his lap, leaving a kiss on his cheek before saying, "Enjoy."

Katie straightened up with her hands still on Jamie's shoulders as he carefully undid the wrapping and the bride shared an excited look with Ella through the screen. They both returned their gazes back to the groom who was about to grace them with a million dollar reaction that Ella wished she could've recorded.

Jamie's jaw dropped when he opened the leather bound book and saw the first picture, his face lighting up in flames and turning him into a shade of red Ella had never seen on him before. His eyes were wide and his smirk grew bigger as he slowly flipped through the pages.

Ella knew exactly when he got to the more naughty ones because he had to close the book to turn around and see his wife, letting out a shaky breath that both Ella and Katie laughed over. When he opened the book again and continued looking through the last ones, he wiped his face with his hand and cursed a low, "Fucking hell." as he shifted in his seat.

"I don't think I've ever seen you this red, Cookie." Ella taunted him but he didn't budge his gaze from the book.

They watched as he couldn't help himself from going back to admire the pictures once again and when he deemed it was enough gawking for the time being, he let the book rest on the table beside him and pulled his wife swiftly on his lap to pounce on her lips.

Katie broke the hungry kiss in between giggles to ask, "Did you like it?"

And Ella chuckled when he growled and nodded, mumbling a quick, "Fucking loved it." before he leaned in to kiss his wife with desperation all over again.

Merely five seconds went by but Ella wanted to tease them for the show they were putting on so she cleared her throat dramatically loud before she said, "Right, I don't wanna be on the phone witnessing your unofficial porno." which prompted them to stop with laughter.

Ella melted when she saw them laugh against each other with the foreheads pressed together before Katie stood up and went to pick up the phone from where she'd propped it up.

The model pouted at the camera and sighed, "I wish you were here to party with us, Ellie."

And Ella matched her pout and the sadness seeped through her words as she assured, "I know but I will be in Alex's phone all night so don't worry."

Jamie came up behind Katie and rested his chin on her shoulder so he could thank Ella once more, "Thank you for that Ellie, it was a fucking perfect gift."

The giggles that came from Ella made the pair smile softly, "You're so very welcome. There's another one more PG but just as beautiful nonetheless, because it's all your gorgeous wife in that one as well."

"Oh yes!" Katie brightened up remembering that Ella also made her a book with the pictures she took of her when they did that shoot at her house, "I'll show him that one later, I left it somewhere in the house."

"Well I hope you love it just as much." Ella smiled softly and sent them a blown kiss through the screen after she added, "Have the best night guys, love you lots!"

With kisses blown from the newlyweds and lots of love sent back to her, Ella finished the call and with that she realized she could go back to her office and get her things to go back to the hotel suite she was staying at in time for Alex to call her during the peak of the party.

By the time she got back to the hotel, she walked into her hotel room to a handful of videos waiting for her in her messages. One was of Alex showing her around the place where the reception was going to be held at, there were another two which captured clips of the toasts people did for the newlyweds which ended up making Ella cry and a few more that showed the party just starting and the group throwing shots back and starting to dance.

Ella made herself a quick lunch—heating some pizza leftovers from the night before—and then she went to shower. Once she had finished blow drying her hair, she opened her messages again to a flood of videos coming from Alex, as well as a pair of missed facetime calls.

She rang him back but he didn't pick up and, from the videos she saw, she could guess that it was because of the loud music that he didn't catch her incoming calls.

About half an hour passed without any more videos and before she could text him to claim he was failing at keeping her updated, her phone rang with a facetime call from the singer.

She expected loud music so she prepared herself for the disturbance to her ears but when she accepted the call, her ears were blessed with Alex's smooth voice greeting her.

"Hi, darling. What you doing?" He instantly noticed that she was in the bathroom, wearing some flannel shorts that showed her thigh tattoo and a shirt long enough to cover most of the shorts, with some sort of mixture on her face.

She leaned into the mirror as she applied some lip balm, pressing her lips together and puckering them up before taking a step back and looking into the camera, she shrugged with a small smile on her face, "Nothing, just relaxing. How's the party going?"

"Good, good." Alex replied nonchalantly, his next words coming muffled because of him placing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it up effortlessly, "Just needed a breather."

"Oh where are you?" Ella asked curiously, seeing the dangling lights behind him that let her see the ivy snaking up a brick wall.

"Having a smoke in the garden." He let out the smoke he had inhaled to continue explaining his decision to come outside, "Even though everyone being wankered already is entertaining, it's not the same without you."

Ella had to really fight against herself not to coo and pout, instead she gave him a toothy smile and a raise of her brows to taunt him, "Yeah, no one forcing you to dance, is there?"

Easily, Alex stated, "Miles is trying." and it made Ella laugh loudly.

Puffing her chest out, she smirked and shrugged before proudly saying, "Miles doesn't have you wrapped around his little finger." wiggling her little finger for the camera to further her point.

And there was no denying that, Alex showed her a loopy smile as he shook his head and agreed, "He sure doesn't."

Watching him smoke never got old, and it surely was making her get flustered but, on top of that, she could feel the taste of the nicotine on her tongue just from watching him and she whined at the craving that shook her with force, "You're making me wanna go out for a cig."

"What's stopping you?" Alex challenged her easily and she sighed.

"I'm too lazy to go outside and I have this on my face." She pointed at the drying face mask she had on, he giggled at the look of it but then noticed how bright it was in the room she was in and it definitely looked like natural lighting.

"You got back early today, huh." The few days before he had managed to sneak a quick facetime call with her, she'd still been at the new office and she would call him back way later when she was back at the hotel, and that usually was when it was about to be three in the morning for him, so he was surprised to see her back in her room when it was still bright outside.

She smiled at his smart observation and nodded, "A miracle isn't it?" She played with the ends of her hair as she explained, "We had an early day today because we have to be at the office by five tomorrow morning, we're shooting all day so we were given a long rest before that."

"All day long?" Alex raised his brows at the information.

"Mhm. We're due in set at half past five and we're not leaving until midnight probably. We have a lot of night scenes to shoot so..."

"This is the short film right?" He made sure to remember correctly, his head scrambled from the tumultuous day.

"Yep." Ella nodded proudly, she still couldn't believe she was in charge of such a big project.

Alex hummed as he took a drag of smoke, "Are there any more directors working with you?"

And once again, Ella proudly replied, "Just me. But I have the writer of the screenplay with me to make sure I follow her vision."

The smile that broke in Alex's face gleamed just as brightly as his eyes did, and she wasn't sure if it was the reflection of the screen on his eyes or the dwindling lights littered around the garden but she enjoyed it nonetheless and was filled with a warmth that she loved so much when he said, "I'm so fucking proud of you Ellie." almost breathlessly.

She couldn't help herself from smiling as big as the drying face mask allowed her, "Thank you sweetness. You're so cute." She winced and dropped her smile when the drying mask pinched on the skin of her cheek and Alex laughed noticing that.

"You look very cute right now." He teased with a smirk, though it wasn't necessarily untrue—she looked adorable and he almost wanted to sigh and swoon like an enamored idiot.

"Oh don't. I've been looking horrendous since I got here so I wanted to do a facemask." She attributed it to the change of climate, but she'd seen the tub of face mask mixture when she was walking past the aisles of the grocery store and she'd decided to buy it and see if it helped at all.

Alex, as flattering as ever, easily refuted her words, "I seriously doubt that but okay."

"Only 'cause you've not seen me in person this past week." Ella sighed, looking at herself in the mirror again and feeling ridiculous with the drying mixture on her skin, "I look rough."

"Why is it cracking?" The singer was entirely confused by the way it had changed color and it had started cracking with the pass of time.

Ella shrugged, picking up the bottle that contained the face mask mixture, "It's some sort of clay mask or something like that. I dunno." She heard him snickering then and she looked down at the screen again with a glare, "I know I look silly right now, but don't even."

Alex raised his free hand in the air to claim innocence, "What? I didn't even say anything!"

But Ella narrowed her eyes and pointed an accusing finger at him, "You were thinking it!" She called him out and his expression only grew more amused, "I know you, Turner."

There was something in him that kept sparking up, like two stones crashing and crashing and he knew that soon enough a fire would start. The sparks shot warmth up his spine already and made his head all dizzy, he doubted it was just the nicotine's effect.

"Sure, sure." He joked halfheartedly, thought his stomach flipped at the way she truly just knew him so well.

Before she could come up with another witty comment to chat back at him, she heard the familiar start of one of her favorite ABBA songs and she froze in her place for a second, holding her breath to make sure it was the one she thought and when she confirmed it by just faintly hearing the first few words, she whined loudly, "Oh stop! That's one of my favorites!"

Like it was the most logical thing to ask, she demanded, "Alex, go back inside and dance for me."

Alex looked at her through the screen and swallowed his laughter before shaking his head, "Sorry darling, I would do anything for you, just not that." It wasn't entirely a lie, but maybe if she begged a little he would rush back inside just to dance to Voulez-Vous for her on the phone.

"Why are you like this?! It's a good song!" She complained as the song started building up to the first chorus.

Alex annoyingly pointed out, "No one's stopping you from dancing to it right now." and that made her glare at him through the screen before she scrambled out of the frame to get a hand towel and wet it with warm water from the tap.

Without noticing, she started softly mumbling along the song as she focused on whipping slowly the dried mixture off her face.

He let her continue without saying a thing for a few seconds before he couldn't just not point it out so he said, "See?" and once again, earned a glare from her.

Only this time, she sang louder and danced more wholeheartedly, swaying her hips and moving her shoulders as she messily continued wiping the face mask off.

Alex smiled like an idiot at his phone, so entranced by Ella and her moves and her big smile and the way she was singing that she didn't notice someone had come outside and seen him, and was slowly approaching him in silence.

The sudden, "Al?" startled him and made him choke on the smoke he had inhaled.

He turned around coughing once before he saw who it was and he switched his pained grimace for a soft smile, "Oh, hi Alexa."

The second she heard the sudden voice, Ella stopped her loud and horrible singing and changed it to humming along with the tune and softly swaying her hips to not interrupt whatever interaction was about to happen.

The model smiled back at him and asked, "What are you doing out here alone?"

Alex lifted the half of the cigarette he had left to wordlessly tell her what he was doing, but then he turned the screen of his phone for her to see that he was in fact, "Not alone."

"Oh!" Alexa giggled, noticing the girl on Alex's phone and waved at her enthusiastically, "Hi!"

Ella looked at the screen when she heard the greeting ring through her speakers and when she saw Alex's ex on the screen, she felt so ugly with the stupid mask still on the bridge of her nose and one of her cheeks, whilst the gorgeous model looked flawless in her perfect makeup and dress.

She had never seen her before, other than the one time she googled her after the girls had told her that Alexa had been Alex's girlfriend when she met the singer, but she still felt so incredibly intimidated and an uncomfortable bitter and burning feeling settled in the pits of her chest.

Still, she put on a shy smile and waved back with a soft, "Hi!"

Alex retracted his phone after that and before he could continue speaking to Ella, Alexa asked, "Mind if I pinch one?"

Alex nodded, resting the cigarette between his lips to use the now free hand to pull out his packet and lighter and offer it to her. There was a heavy silence as Alexa picked a cigarette out and lit it up, taking a long drag and sighing in bliss. The sound of it somehow sounded louder than the music coming faintly from the party and Ella was then painfully aware that the moment she had with Alex had been cut.

So, fighting the pout that wanted to show on her face, she patted her face dry after having gotten everything off her skin and let him go, "I'll leave you to it, sweets. Enjoy yourself and keep the videos coming, please?"

Alex clearly let his sadness show with a childish pout that had Ella smiling like a fool, and she had to bite her bottom lip not to smile bigger when he sweetly replied, "Of course, darling. I'll call you later, yeah?"

"Okay sweets, it's a plan. Love you!" Ella's sweet tone rang through the speakers of his phone and Alexa couldn't help raising her brow in curiosity at the words that the unknown girl had just said.

And the model's curiosity heightened when she noticed the way Alex's cheeks had tinted pink, but it somehow was clear when she heard him say, "Love you too darling, bye!" back.

It might've been a long while since Alexa had spent time with Alex but, at the end of the day, there was a time she knew him as well as the back of her hand and so she wanted to know who it was that had stolen the singer's heart.

"Who was that?" Alexa asked genuinely curious, her voice had a timbre of amusement like she was teasing him that made Alex blush even more.

"Ella." He choked out, like a giggle was stuck in his throat. "She's uh..." He wanted to explain further because he knew Alexa could see through him at that very moment but there wasn't any other term to refer to Ella other than, "My best friend."

He wished there was more, but he couldn't just say she was the girl that plagued his dreams, or the one he wished was dragging him to the dancefloor of the party. The girl who he wanted to escape to the garden with to share a smoke and laugh about their drunk friends. The girl he wanted to take pictures and videos of all night and keep them all like a treasure in his stupid phone to watch back when he was on tour. The girl who he wished had caught the bouquet Katie threw and looked at him like it was a sign for them to share that unbreakable promise that didn't seem so scary if it was shared with her.

The fog was clearing up even more, something inside of him slowly shifting.

"Right." Alexa smirked, her voice coated in sarcasm that just told him how she didn't believe that one bit. She frowned though, noticing the way she was absent in such a big event for the group,  "Was she not invited?"

Alex took another drag before he answered, "She was. She just couldn't make it 'cos of work: she's filming this short film in Boston to submit to a film festival."

Alexa's brows shot up in wonder, "Oh so she's a filmographer?"

Alex nodded and explained further, "She's a director and photographer. Works with Ben and Aaron, they're all from Focus Creeps and the three usually record our music videos."

That's when she realized just how acquainted they must be, knowing just how many music videos the band had put out for the latest record. "Oh right, from LA then?" It was obvious that she was, the American accent giving the girl away but Alexa was nosey in a good way.

"Mhm. She's from Tennessee actually, but lives in LA." Alex felt the need to correct.

Alexa smirked once again then, coming closer to him just to nudge his hip with hers and tease, "Ooo a cowgirl."

Alex chuckled as heat traveled up to his face yet again, "A cowgirl."

"She sounds cool." Alexa said genuinely, she also looked cool with her Arctic Monkeys shirt on, that septum piercing she'd managed to notice on her and the many earrings littering her ears, as well as the tattoos on her skin.

"She really is." Alex reminisced about all that came to be Ella and he sighed. He really missed her.

When he looked down at his phone and saw the group picture that he had as a lockscreen of everyone at Glastonbury, he perked up and started chatting about her, "You should see the pictures she takes, she's fucking amazing."

All it took was Alexa saying, "Show me?" for Alex to unlock his phone and pull up Ella's instagram for Alexa to see.

The model scrolled through her Instagram page and her jaw fell the more she found. Not only did she find the pictures she'd take of landscapes and cities gorgeous, but the pictures of herself that she had posted were hot.

"Oh she's fit." Alexa concluded with a raise of her brows, as if silently congratulating Alex for being able to pull such a stunning woman.

"She's a photographer but not a model?" Alexa asked intrigued, she kept scrolling down and clicking on one that Alex knew very well: that picture of her wearing only a silver bikini and cowboy boots, leaning backwards on her forearms on her motorcycle with a cowboy hat that hid her face almost entirely, except for her agape mouth that made it look like she was moaning. "Why?! She's stunning and she already looks like one."

"I know! She should be one." Alex spoke like it brought him relief to hear someone agree with him, but he actually explained the reasoning Ella had once given him, "She doesn't enjoy being in front of the camera that much. At least not with strangers."

Alexa nodded, completely understanding the point, her gaze still caught up by the pictures on Ella's page. When she pulled one up of the girl naked and only covered by a flimsy white dress that was completely see-through under the sun in the picture, Alexa caught the singer just gawking and so she elbowed him to taunt him, "You'd like it if she was one, wouldn't you?"

Alex rolled his eyes, before shoving her playfully, "Oh shush." and Alexa laughed loudly at the way he continued to blush.

"When did you meet her?" She asked as she handed Alex his phone back.

And it was obvious how he froze in his place for a few seconds before pocketing his phone and then he warily replied, "Erm... Remember back in 2011 when me and the lads went to LA to record the Brick by Brick video?"

His ex's brows shot up when she realized it had been that long, "Ohhhh! Since then?"

"Yeah." Alex confirmed awkwardly, knowing that he had still been with her when he met Ella.

Just to mess with him, Alexa frowned and called him out in faux seriousness, "You never mentioned her." But when the model saw Alex's face fall and pale, she cackled loudly and corrected, "I'm joking!"

Still, Alex seemed like he was having a hard time even swallowing his own spit so Alexa taunted him once more but this time a bit more lightheartedly, "How many songs on the new record are about her then?"

It seemed it wasn't as lighthearted as she expected because he looked pained when she mumbled, "Alexa..." as if he was asking for mercy.

"What? I know you." Alexa shrugged, "I'll send you my guesses the next time I listen to it."

When Alex threw the bud of his cigarette to the ground and stomped on it, Alexa thought he was gonna walk out on her and leave her with an itch she couldn't scratch, so before that could even happen, she quickly blurted out, "Has she got a boyfriend?"

"No." Alex's voice was barely a whisper and if she wasn't right next to him then she wouldn't have heard him.

She cocked her head in confusion, it was clear that he fancied her so she had no idea why he hadn't made a move to get her already. "Then what's wrong?"

In total despair to be reminded of it all, Alex sighed heavily as he rubbed one of his eyes like he was tired of having to be in such a predicament, "I'm on tour."

He sounded so devastated by that simple fact that the corners of her lips fell in a pout and she side hugged him as she sadly cooed, "Awh, Al..."

It seemed like he needed the space to speak about it because, totally unprompted, Alex started talking, "She's wonderful, and I don't even think she likes me if I'm being honest. Florence says it's obvious she does but– I just don't want to fuck things up. Already did before and I'm afraid of losing her entirely if I take one wrong step."

Alexa sighed, feeling for her friend and took a few seconds to gather her thoughts to give an objective perspective on it, "If my opinion counts for anything, from just those few seconds I saw you on the phone to her, I can tell that there is certainly something there."

"Do you think?" Alex perked up at the thought. maybe if someone else could see it, especially if it was someone outside of their close group of friends, then it really meant there was a chance.

His heart leaped in his chest, and the wave of words he had been holding back for so long seemed to want to come out even if Ella wasn't there to hear. He just wanted to scream every thought that came to him about her out loud.

"Yeah, it was written all over her face." Alexa assured him with an honest smile.

Suddenly, he blurted out, "I see her again in June. We're playing in this festival in her hometown and she goes religiously every year. She cried when I told her we were in the lineup."

Alexa tried not to giggle at the sudden word vomit coming from him, and instead cooed over the fact that what he'd just said would happen, "Bless her! That's gonna be so special."

"It'll be. And I just can't wait to see her again and this time in her hometown. She came around to see us at Glasto and it was just— I can't even put into words how it felt having her here, at home, during that time. So I'm just really impatient for June and to see her in her home and just being all that she is at her core, you know?"

There was the word vomit again, Alexa hummed entirely amused by the way it was so obvious on his face, so she smirked again and decided to be more blunt about taunting him, "You really like her, don't you?"

And that was when that notion that had been creeping out of the corners of his mind jumped at him at full force, making him almost stumble in his feet. 'Like' wasn't enough to convey all that he felt when he thought of her, when she called or texted him, when he saw her in pictures, when he was able to have her in the same room as him and much less when he had her right there next to him.

I just wasn't enough and it would be unfair to downplay it, not when he ached so much to say it all to her and the first step was finally letting himself come to terms with it and god, didn't it feel freeing and like a massive weight lifting off his shoulders when he finally opened his mouth and started saying, "I think I'm–"

Alex stopped himself there, shaking his head like his thoughts had gotten blurry and it was stupid to use the words 'I think', because he was sure by then, there was no other way to describe it.

And so he said it correctly this time, "No. I am in love with her."

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: It took him long enough, didn't it? What do you think will happen now that he's finally come to the realisation? I'm eager to hear your predictions heheheh. Finally being able to write that last scene was so fulfilling, I've had that planned out for so long and I'm just so excited for you all to read it!! We're so close to the end, it is actually so damn sad </3 But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one and I hope to see you soon with the next one. Sending you lots of love, have a great weekend!! xx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette @chickenxdrum

[box-architecture]

Plantrio group chat.

ok I'm going to be really abnormal for a hot minute here but its not my fault I was reminded that Mystic Messenger exists so, fun silly AU under the cut.

Ok so I'm giggling over the concept of a DSMP AU Mystic Messenger style. You're a recent minecraft player who has come to the DSMP, (or maybe you can select a character like Technoblade, shhh this is a crack concept) and you're in a chat group with the other characters involved in The Plan, like Punz and Ranboo (full memories) as someone who is on Dream's Side and is working for Dream

Listen To Me. Listen. Dating Sim the hell out of Dream. It would be so stupid. Listen to me.

you have to respond to text messages at various hours of the day over the course of 14 days, making choices that will decide how the story will go, and how your relationship with Dream will develop. You can encourage or discourage events of exile, the building of the prison, you can side with Dream in arguments in the group chat over the best way to handle certain actions or choose to push against him in others.

You can literally have conversations with Dream at 2 in the morning because Dream doesn't sleep and both talk quietly about how things have changed since the start of the server, listen to him reminisce about Sapnap and George even as he insists it was for the best that they don't talk anymore.

You could also potentially build negative or positive relationships with Punz and Ranboo, which will affect how they respond to you and later decisions in the story. Like if you're going for an ending where Dream doesn't put himself in prison, you have to have high affinity with both characters so they'll side with you against this idea

And you also get private conversations with them as well to foster this. listen 14 days is a lot of time I'm sure plenty can be squeezed in

but in the five seconds since thinking about this silly idea, there's a list of characters you can be

Like, if you choose to be a Random MC, you'd get a sort of pre- selected backstory and could make it up as you go along with how you got into this Plan situation with the trio

But I think it would be really, really fun if you could choose to be Technoblade

Like for whatever reason Techno accidentally gets access to The Plan Group Chat, and after a days worth of conversations, he's allowed to stay in the chat

and he gets Significantly different conversations than from Random MC

but also you can be Hannah, who comes to the DSMP a lot earlier than in canon, or Tina, and they also get different conversations, because they're different characters

and the same bare bones of the route happen, but its still Them and the texting is Them

And that might be too ambitious for an actual game but listen this is likely something that's not going to be actually made so instead Listen. Listen To The Benefits of Silly

But also please consider that you could get The Worst Endings Possible through actively encouraging Dream's self sacrificing behavior, reassuring him that he's making the right decisions all the time, ignoring when other characters bring up concerns

Consider the difference between Supporting Dream and Encouraging Dream. I'm shaking you

Consider having late night convos with Punz as he privately expresses worry for Dream, as he admits that sometimes he wonders if there's any point in The Plan or in even caring about the people of the smp. Consider Ranboo opening up about how fucked up it is to only remember who he is half the time, and the personal guilt he feels about deceiving Tubbo, but how despite his guilt he's still choosing to do this

I know I've mentioned this was for the express purpose of kissing Dream and that its a dating sim but my primary goal is no longer about Dream getting kissed its about giving him friendship

however he probably should still get kissed

but MOST IMPORTANTLY

ITS ABOUT THE WHOLE IDEA THAT IF DREAM HAD LITERALLY JUST. ANY SOLID SUPPORT. THE PRISON AND SO MUCH BULLSHIT WOULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED

Ranboo isn't himself half the time and Punz believes murder is always the solution they dont count

Pacifist Route. Toxic Route. Befriend people make enemies interact with characters. listen to me.

[our-aroace-experience]

ok so here's my ace/arospec story

ace:

i learned about being ace

oh i don't know

12 years old maybe

i searched it up after reading about it online

"aroace definition"

it went something like

"being both aromantic and asexual"

i searched up

"aromantic"

"asexual"

at first i thought it was a bit strange

i hadn't learned yet

to distinguish

between romantic attraction and sexual attraction

because i didn't know

people actually wanted sex

people actually saw someone and went

"wow"

"i want to fuck them"

i had a crush on a childhood friend of mine

at the time

(a guy. i am a girl.)

i'd always assumed i was cishet

grew up in a conservative christian household

slightly offtopic but honestly my parents were great

not stereotypical conservative christians

both allies

they had friends who were trans and gay

i'd checked out queer media from the library

and they were fine with it

anyway

back to the story

so since i had a crush on the opposite gender

i assumed ofc

i was cishet

well ofc i wasn't into sex, i was just a kid

but at age 13

almost 14

i was alone

in a hotel room, no parents, on instagram

that's the only time i could get that

late night phone time

when i didn't have parents around

i found @i.put.the.ace.in.disgrace on instagram

scrolled through every fucking post

on their account

and on the #asexual tag

i related to those posts

like

a lot

a suspicious amount for someone supposedly allo

even though i was just a kid

yeah maybe i'd grow into it

maybe i'd feel attraction one day

but not now

and who the hell was going to tell me

what i could or couldn't identify as

so i tried out the ace label

spent hours and hours

wondering if it was right

if i was really ace

if i wasn't too young

but going back to being allo felt wrong

so i decided to keep the label

the first person i came out to

was an online friend

they were so amazing and supportive of it

i love them so much for that

they said i'd been on their gaydar for a while

(a message i still think about

when wondering if i'm really ace)

felt sick the next day

i'd always been an ally

supported my queer friends

arospec aspec trans homosexual i supported them all

but it made me sick

to think about me

myself

being queer

it was sort of rough

but i got through it

later

came out to my friend and her mom

they were cool about it

i knew i'd be safe

they weren't ecstatic or super happy

but they accepted me

"cool"

that's what they said i remember it

i was a hot mess that day too

stuttered over all my words when trying to come out

and they still accepted me

i love them

later

i decided to hint at my identity to my mom

talked about not liking sex

i checked out a few ace books

from the library

my mom took me aside

i don't remember her exact words

it went something like

"it's natural to be curious

but you can't be ace at 14

you're not trying to be

are you?"

ofc

i managed to convince her i was allo

had to be more careful then

arospec:

i'd only had one crush.

one crush who i'd liked as a friend first.

you see where this is going, don't you?

well

i didn't

i'd heard that aces had not very many crushes

so i assumed i was just Really Really Asexual

and i couldn't be aro hahahaha

i'd been in love before!

aros cannot be in love!

oh by golly i was wrong

i started questioning

(only one crush?

my friends are all over their crushes

plural

and i've only had one??

maybe i'm not as allo as i thought)

i debated over gray-aro and demi-aro

picked demi

it described my experience more accurately

came out to aforementioned friend

then aforementioned online friend

they were chill about it

(fucking love them)

then i 3d printed a black ring

and a white ring

ace

and aro

and this is maybe the best part of the whole experience

i had friends who were stereotypical conservative christian

queerphobic

they complimented my aro and ace rings

and so did my mom

and that made me really happy for some reason

shit that was a long ask im sorry

thank you for sharing! i hope your mum comes around to you being aroace one day

also side note: this reads like a poem it’s so well written!