#ALLOace. GAY ACE

[ariolimaxyz]

ACE DATA!!!!!!

[struck-by-the-rain]

they r literally perfectly colour coordinated with the flag this is bringing me such joy

[leikeliscomet]

It's okay to talk about how your romantic attraction overlaps with your asexuality. It's not greedy to want representation of both your romanticism and your asexuality together in 1 character. It's not a lesser form of asexual representation if the character has romantic attraction. It's not a lesser form of queer romantic representation if the character is asexual. You are not a lesser form of anything. You don't have to 'choose' whether your asexuality or your romanticism matters more. It's not amatornativity to want an asexual relationship for yourself or express your romantic attraction. It's not allonormative or gross to express your interest in the same gender if you have it. It's okay if sexual/romantic/platonic look and feel completely different to you. It's not automatically 'just sexual attraction then' if it involves anything physical. It's not a privilege to have romantic attraction if it's illegal, moralised or stigmatised despite being asexual. In case anyone needs to hear it.

[textk4kira]

I've noticed several queer folks describe their 'concerns' over certain demographics 'infiltrating' the queer community and taking up queer resources.

Most of the individuals I see making this claim are usually unable/unwilling to share 'resources' with their fellow queers, such as queer literature, history of the queer community (esp. non-US centric information), info on accessing HRT and other gender affirming care, or where to find homeless shelters for LGBTQIA+ youth (40% of homeless youth are LGBTQIA+), etc.

Usually, these biases are directed toward groups such as:

Asexuals (esp. cisheteromantic aces)

Aromantics (esp. cisheterosexual aros)

Bisexuals in 'straight-passing relationships'

Trans-hets

Literally, anyone who isn't a cis, white gay man or lesbian.

Note: This isn't an exhaustive list, they are just my observations.

My question for my fellow queers is:

What constitutes a queer resource, and how do the aforementioned groups STEAL resources from the rest of the lgbtqia+ community?

[snowed-leopard]

MANNCO PRIDE PT 2: SEXUALITY!

part two to my only slightly too late pride month project... aheh

Gender | Sexuality | Other | Some Xenogenders | Robotkin

(as asks come in and I get additional requests more links to extra may be added) ((Other includes both rainbow flag variations and some flags like the bear flag and questioning flag. ))

QnA is in the Gender post! go check there for how I want people to ask for a flag I may have missed on. I'm very sorry if I did btw, I promise it was not intentional, you're still valid I'm just a dumbass.

[contagious-watermelon]

so, fellow aspec people, what are y'all's relationship to gay as an umbrella term? I've seen a lot of aroace people call themselves gay despite *technically* not being, and personally I've always been confused by that

(and also— I'd imagine that aroallo or alloace people who are gay for their other orientation would automatically include themselves with that term, but what about the arohets and acehets? how do y'all feel about the use of gay as an umbrella term?)

I'm just curious about other people's experiences bc i as an aromantic person feel rather uncomfortable being grouped in as gay because I've never been attracted to another man before, but anecdotally i seem to be in the minority

[vampbiter]

this pride month, lets acknowledge aromanticism and asexuality as separate identities that DONT only come in a 2-for-1 packaging

[aroaceconfessions]

i am an autistic gay alloromantic asexual and frankly I can't understand at all how anyone who isn't attracted to every gender wouldn't be able to empathize with aros or aces.

like it's ... literally.... if you aren't attracted to every gender, then you know that there's a consistent pattern of not experiencing attraction to at least one group of people? like.... that's pretty easy to extrapolate to other genders? like how a straight allo man seems to have no problem conceptualizing that, even though they experience attraction to women, a straight allo woman wouldn't be attracted to women? like.... that's just the most basic, amatonormative commonplace example I can think of, but it should be even MORE obvious to people in queer communities?

i just cannot wrap my head around aphobia in like. a rational sense. like I'm not attracted to women, nor am I interested in having a relationship beyond a platonic one with women. like.... how on earth do people have trouble extrapolating that to "and also all the other genders" or "and also all the other genders but under these conditions only" or "but only sometimes" or whatever.

like I see confessions here and have even experienced myself (when I identified as aro) situations where people will just suggest "well maybe you'll change your mind" or "well maybe someday you'll meet the right one" or "never say never!" or some other bullshit, but can you even imagine the social backlash you'd get to saying that kind of thing to like.... a stereotypical catholic white straight woman about "holding out on the prospect for" a relationship with a woman? like why are only some non-attractions respected like that. why does this not make . sense to them . genuinely I have no idea how this double standard can exist rationally.

[coolauntlilith]

It really is always "let fans explore," with the aromantic characters.

I will never forget some other explorations that were deemed homophobic and absolutely unacceptable by fans of media where, in the dialogue/text/narrative of the literal shows, the characters never say with their own mouths, "I'm gay." Oh but it's fine with an aromantic characters that the VA and indirectly the creator have said is aromantic.

[quadruple-a-battery]

Tonight I dreamt I was a vampire.

And I was in love with a guy. But my ace brain went „we could just make this vampire gay, but we know that it is impossible to imagine sexual attraction. So we‘re gonna make this vampire gay romantic only!“

So now I’m longing for some cool homoromantic ace vampire stories.

[flag-mashups]

Gay + Ace =

(Please read pinned post before interacting! <3)

Gay - Someone who experiences queer attraction towards masc-aligned people.

Ace/Asexual - Someone who experiences little-to-no sexual attraction.

[devotedlystrangewizard]

laughing about that part of my life where i identified as an ace lesbian not bc it was cringe or bad or whatever (bc it really was just a phase in my life and i shouldnt feel embarrassed about changing) but just because it is the exact opposite of what i am now

[psychicmisfortune]

aphobes are coming back from twitter so this is a reminder:

this blog welcomes ALL ASPECS. aromantics, demiromantics, grayromantics, lithoromantics, aegoromantics, aroflux folks, asexuals, demisexuals, graysexuals, lithosexuals, aegosexuals, aceflux folks, aroaces, aroallos, alloaces, allohets, hetallos, ace pans/bis/lesbians/gays/polys/anything else, aro pans/bis/lesbians/gays/polys/anything else, and anything else i didn't list.

y'all already know you're valid as fuck. keep going, y'all are awesome.

[purpleartrowboat]

happy pride month to people who feel left out from mainstream queer media or unsafe at pride

happy pride month to anyone who cant go to pride

whether its unsafe in the area, they physically can't, or have homophobic family

happy pride month to people who dont quite know their identity yet

to people who are unlabeled, or are questioning, or

happy pride month to poc queer

to black queers and asian queers and indigenous queers and latine queers

happy pride month to disabled queers

to queers in wheelchairs, with canes, with service dogs, with inhalers, with leg braces, with crutches,

happy pride month to queers in straight relationships or appear to be in straight relationships

to bi people dating the opposite gender, to pan people dating the opposite gender, to straight but with another lgbtq+ identity, to fem presenting people dating masc presenting people

happy pride month to queers in polyamorous relationships

happy pride month to all a-spec people

to all aros, aces, alloaces, alloaros, aroaces, loveless aros, aros in relationships, aros in qprs, to aroflux people, to demiromantic and demisexual people

happy pride month to all multi-sexual people

to bisexuals, pansexuals, polysexuals, to biromantics, panromantics, polyromantics and anyone else under this umbrella

Happy pride month to non binary people

to genderfluid people, genderqueer people, to transneutral, transmasc and transfem non binary people. to bigender, pangender people. to people who use xenogenders

happy pride month to people with "weird pronouns"

to people with multiple pronoun sets, neopronoun users, to cis guys who use she/her to cis girls who use he/him to cis people who use they/them or neopronouns, to people who use any pronouns, to people who use any pronouns but they/them or any but she/her or any but he/him or any but neos

happy pride month to trans people

to t4t people, trans men, trans women, transfems, transmascs, to straight trans people, to aro trans people, to ace trans people, to lesbian trans people, to gay trans people

shout-out to neurodivergent and mentally ill queer people

to queer people with anxiety, with autism, with adhd, with depression, with ocd, with schizophrenia, with bpd, with ptsd.

to queer people who hallucinate, who need noise cancelling headphones, who need fidgets, who have panic attacks, who are forgetful, who get hyperfocused, who have mood swings

happy pride month to everyone. you deserve respect and to feel safe, even if you dont now. you're valid. you deserve to be able to go to pride without fear. you deserve accomodations at pride. even if you don't want to go to pride events, youre still amazing and valid. stay safe

[rjalker]

Dear teenagers on tumblr, and a whole bunch of adults, too:

You can be any identity under the sun, and that does not stop you from being bigoted or hateful towards other people of that identity or any other.

Being gay doesn't magically mean you can't be homomisic or anything else.

Being aspec does not mean you can't be amisic or anything else.

Being trans doesn't mean you can't be transmisic or anything else.

Your identity does not determine how harmful or hateful your actions and words are. There is no identity in the world that gives you a free pass from biotry and cancels out all the harm you do.

"But I can't be an exclusionist, I'm literally aspec!" is a completely meaningless statement. I know not everyone remembers, or was even online during the aspec harassment campaign, but a ton of alloaces and alloaros were onboard with the whole thing and throwing the "non-Queer aces and aros who make us look bad" under the bus.

Their asexuality or aromanticism did not magically make their actions not violently and horrifically amisic.

Being part of an oppressed minority does not make all of your actions harmless and innocent, and it does not mean that anyone who criticizes you for bigotry against other people from that minority group is just "stupid" and needs to "touch grass".

You being [insert identity] does not mean that it's impossible for you to hurt, or be hateful towards other people of that identity.

If someone tells you that something you are saying is harmful and bigoted, and that there are better ways to phrase what you're actually trying to say, you cannot respond with "I'm literally X identity you stupid idiot, do you think I hate myself??" or pretend that the people telling you it's harmful are just "making up problems to get mad about" and "need to touch grass" and "looking for things to be offended by"

You cannot repeat the exact same words any random conservative would be saying and call yourself progressive and say you're acting in good faith and have good intentions.

If you actually want you make yourself and your blog a supportive place for your community, then you need to learn that it is not okay to respond to people telling you something is hurtful by just repeatedly insulting them and saying they're just looking for problems to cause and you've done nothing wrong because "I'm literally X identity I can't spread hate about my own identity".

Because yes you can. And you are.

If multiple people are telling you you're acting like an exclusionist, that is your cue to stop, take time to calm down your immediate negative reaction, and listen properly.

Do not just immediately leap to repeating exact conservative talking points by accusing people of "looking for things to get offended by".

Do not immediately leap to insulting people's intelligence and other ableist things.

If you are actually acting in good faith, and you are actually trying to be a supportive member of your community, then you have a personal responsability to listen to other people in your community when you are told that something you've done or said is hurtful and is perpetuating harmful, exclusionary beliefs.

You are not immune to being a bigot just because you're also a minority.

You have a personal responsibility to listen to people when they tell you you are doing something harmful.

You have a personal responsibility to unlearn bigoted thought patterns and behaviors like immediately dismissing any criticism as "special snowflakes getting offended by everything".

You have a personal responsibility not to harm your own community.

Everyone needs to learn this lesson at some point. You will either learn it now, when you're young, or you'll learn it when you're older and you've already driven people away from you.

Either way, you gotta learn it.

You cannot repeat conservative bigoted talking points and keep insisting your intentions are good.

If you actually want to be a good person who supports other minorities, you have to learn to act like it. You have to learn to listen when people tell you you've done something harmful. You have to learn to listen when it is explained that you are repeating exclusionary talking points that harm the community.

[ID: A screenshot of a post by dulce de calabaza / zapatistarising, that reads, "There's actually no political label or identity that absolves you of doing harm". End ID.]

I suggest you try learning it now while you're still young, before you've driven your community away from you with your hateful behavior. No one likes a bigot.

And no one wants to hang out with someone who immediately starts insulting people and all but calling them special snowflakes when they're told they've said something bigoted.

[faggotstump]

EXCLUSIONISTS FUCKING EXPLODE CHALLENGE! I LOVE AROS AND ACES (ESPECIALLY ALLOAROS AND ALLOACES) AND MSPEC GAYS AND FAGDYKES AND DYKEFAGS AND CONTRADICTORY LABELS AND XENOGENDERS AND NEOPRONOUNS AND WEIRD QUEER PEOPLE!!!!