#AND THEN THE GED LADY NEVER CALLED US BACK

[doueverwonder]

Looking enviously at all the people on here who are in college hits on a different level when I dropped out of highschool and SHOULD have my GED by now but the lady at the place never called us back

[rev-wrath]

Liar 3

Dick Grayson x Reader

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Summary: Up and down, back and forth. Such is life now for (Y/N) (L/N). But still, what the fuck is happening?

Notes: Reader is male and uses he/him pronouns. Implied autistic!Tim. 4.2k words. Paw dividers by sligheach-side. Send an ask to be part of Liar tag list.

“How are you?” Jason asks.

“Better.” A small smile graces his lips as his eyes sparkle. Both a rarity, the smile moreso. “I called my siblings.”

“Yeah? How did that go?”

“I missed them so much. They’re alive. They’re alive and relatively safe.” If he were honest that’s all that he’s wanted. Yes, he wants to be there for them too, to actually be with them, but he can wait. He won’t take their return for granted, he’ll take what he can for now. What matters is that they are alive, have food, clothes, a roof over their heads, and warmth. There’s also someone taking care of them and they’re in school. Oh god, does he have to go back to school and get a GED? He probably does. “They seem happy too.” It’s all more than he could have ever fathomed.

“They are. Natalia helps in the kitchen and Kiva started learning recently.” West was still at the age where he’s more messy in the kitchen but they were working on that. “Natalia seems to appreciate some of my book recommendations.” He’s also spotted some manga around the house that definitely has to come from Tim. West is also interested in some of them. Jason gives him a look that’s a tad too firm to be called soft. “We’re looking out for them. Sasha too.” The lady housing and acting as the kids’ caretaker right now. His siblings called her “Ms. Sasha”. He doesn’t know much about her but he hasn’t heard anything bad.

“If Natalia starts dating, go and threaten the kid for me?” He’s suddenly reminded of the lack of what he knows about his siblings now and what they’ve been through for the past 6 years. “Actually if any of them do, threaten whoever it is.” After all, he probably won’t be out before they all start dating if they’re interested in romance.

Jason snorts. “Handing off that big brother duty to me? What an honor.”

“You’d scare them plenty.” It is also a sign of trust, he hopes Jason understands that too.

“Yeah, sure, it’ll be fun.” Maybe he does.

“Thank you.”

Jason looks at Dick. Dick who looks so tired in front of him but he’s seen him still smiling when it’s called for. Laugh and throw quips. This whole thing has taken a big toll on him, and Jason might be the only one who actually knows. “Does he even actually talk to you?”

“Not really. He doesn’t even actually look at me sometimes.” There’s a joke, about his irresistible looks or show stopping beauty on his tongue but he just keeps it there. It’s not the time.

Jason exhales. “Maybe you should stop visiting for a while.”

And Dick knows that makes sense, to give (Y/N) some space. Hell, maybe Dick himself needs some to figure out how to approach things better. This could also give him some time to focus on other things more. Thankfully it hasn’t leaked into his life enough for many of the others to notice. “That might be good.”

Jason’s eyes find his. “You’re gonna be fine, Dickwad.” Despite the name his demeanor and voice is soft.

“Thanks Jay.”

“Alright,” The younger stands up, grabbing the cups. “come on, let’s make cocoa.” He heads to the kitchen, ready to swap out the cups for mugs. Dick smiles, following him. Later, they’ll talk more and watch a movie, or a show until they either pass out or decide to call it a night.

“Why do you keep visiting me?” Though he hasn’t been here in almost a month.

“Why do you keep coming?” Dick counters. He never raises his voice, always speaking softly or in pleas. Sometimes he’ll speak a little below his normal voice and very rarely will he speak in his normal voice. Right now he’s speaking a bit softer than his normal voice.

“To ask you why you keep visiting.” (Y/N) shoots back. He turns his head away, hardened gaze looking off to the side. “I don’t know if I can even deny visitors.” Frankly, he doesn’t want to find out. What other bits of his life is in their hands? What else has he been handed or denied?

“I can… I can stop coming if that’s what you really want.”

“Maybe.” He says vaguely.

“Tim!”

“Why don’t you visit more? You used to visit a lot more!” Kiva asks, jumping up with her arms outstretched.

“I’ve been very busy. Sorry, Kiva.” Tim says, taking off his coat and patting her head. He’s not a natural with kids and is still kind of awkward with these ones.

He looks up and seems to be surprised to meet Jason’s careful gaze, West next to him. Natalia is in the kitchen entrance behind him also watching Tim and Kiva.

“JayJay’s telling us a story right now.” She grabs Tim, tugging him over.

“Hi Jason.”

Jason nods. “Hey Tim.” He continues with his story. When dinner gets called Jason and Tim stay behind for a moment, promising to join them soon.

“I didn’t expect you to be here.”

“Well I am.” There’s no way he doesn’t know that Jason visits. There’s also been a slight increase since (Y/N) has bestowed that one big brother duty on to him. However he’s also taken that as a sign of something more. He trusts Jason with his siblings, which means a lot.

“How often do you visit?”

“About twice a week when I can.” Whether that means he’s in town to or he’s not too beaten to. “You obviously haven’t been.”

“I just check in every now and then.” By that he means once or twice a month.

“Maybe you should come more if they miss you.”

“I’m busy. Dick visits plenty already.” Jason apparently does too. “How often are you visiting (Y/N)?”

“Enough.” Tim’s eyes don’t narrow but Jason can feel him trying to analyze what exactly that means. In return he looks at Tim, not quite in the eyes but Tim knows what he’s saying. “He’s not a bad person. You knew him too.”

“Hardly.” God, if only Tim knew that Dick’s in love with the guy.

“He’s not a bad person. How much do you even know about him? Because I know you spent time with him before.”

“People change around different people.” That’s just a fact. “The way he acted around me is only a small part of himself.” Jason makes a mental note to ask Dick more about what the fuck (Y/N) did. Until then…

“And what about them?” Jason jerks his head in the direction of the kids. “You brought them here and you don’t spare any time when they clearly miss you. Why? Because case close, mission over? Those are actual kids. You can’t do that to them.” Jason’s protective streak is clearly on display.

Tim deflates. “I’m just busy.” Though he will admit to himself that the kids aren’t very high on his priority list at the moment. Between Young Justice, everything in Gotham, his own personal cases and personal life, added with the fact it has been a long time since they’ve gotten here and knowing Dick’s here, he thinks it’s not as necessary. But Kiva did just say she, at least, misses him.

The older deflates just a bit too. “Take care of yourself, kid. And don’t forget about people.” Tim picks up on the double meaning behind it.

This fucking room.

“Have you spoken to Dick?” The therapist asks.

“He visits.” It’s a deflection, he knows. She, of course, knows this too, as she writes something down.

“Does he talk to you?” She asks.

“Yes.”

“And what does he talk about?”

“My siblings, his brother, Jason, sometimes him, me, the world, Gotham.” The animals without homes he fed, the workers in the shops that give him nostalgia he couldn’t place, the people in the shops that he became a regular at, the people at the libraries he visited, the people that had the courage to sit on a Gotham sidewalk to sell items that he would stop to look at, the ever changing walls filled with graffiti, the ones with murals on them.

“And what do you say?”

The former vigilante shrugs. Dr. Tavarez takes a moment before speaking again.

“You don’t have to forgive him.”

“I know.” He very much does.

“But it is good for you to have good relationships with other people.”

“Jason visits.” He counters.

“Do you speak to him?”

“I do.” It is easier to speak to Jason in a way, there’s so much more he can get out of. Even if deep, deep down he knows there’s so much he wants to say to Dick, so much he’s feeling.

“And what do you talk about with him?”

“Basically the same thing.”

“But you talk to Jason and not Dick.”

“Yes.”

“And why is that?”

“Because my relationship with Jason was never based on lies, because he didn’t lie to me, hasn’t and doesn’t.” It’s that simple.

She nods. “I’m here to help, (Y/N). I hope you understand that.”

“There’s no helping. I just sit here and be good, hopefully good enough to get out early enough that my youngest sibling doesn’t celebrate her 30th birthday without me.”

“I know your siblings are important to you. You came here willingly for them and want to leave early for them?”

“Yes.” They mean the world to him. Always have, always will. Regardless of a certain acrobat.

The helmet clicks off as Dick turns on some music and grabs the medical supply having already chucked his mask into its designated box. Jason’s jacket gets semi-folded on the couch as ABBA seeps into the apartment.

With a small clunk Dick’s hefty medkit is placed on the coffee table. Quietly, aside from the occasional grunt or hiss both boys discard their layers to assess their injuries and patch up.

Dick holds out the healing salve. “You have a bruise on your shoulder.”

“I have pit healing.”

“Take the salve, Little Wing.”

Jason grumbles and takes it, twisting around to find the bruise and slap some salve on it.

Dick secures another bandage on himself before standing and heading to the kitchen. He sets a few water bottles down on the counter. “I have chips and dip, different types of dip,” He adds. “sandwich stuff, Pop Tarts and that cereal you like. I’ve also got some fruit.”

“What kind of Pop Tarts?”

“S’mores, strawberry, blueberry, cookies and creme, and the sundae one.” Dick lists off. Jason, mentally making a note to snatch some of them, joins him in the kitchen.

“What’s the sandwich stuff?”

“Usual stuff. I think I’m low on ham though.”

Jason shrugs. “Fine by me.” Swinging open the fridge while Dick rips open a Pop Tart.

“Are you staying here for the night?” He asks in between mouthfuls of frosting and biscuit.

“That’s confidential information.” Dick stares at him.

“How many times have you slept over and left before I realized anything?”

“Less than Tim has.”

Dick sighs. “That makes sense.”

“Go clean up, Dickwad. I can manage making a sandwich.” Jason nudges a shoulder towards the bathroom and bedroom, not taking his eyes off said sandwich. “There’s blood under your chin and dirt on your eyebrows.”

“Alright, alright.” Pushing himself off the counter he heads off to the bathroom.

Most of the blood on him got wiped off with a towel. There wasn’t much of it tonight to begin with, but still. Turning the faucet on he splashes his face. Slowly his thoughts drift to (Y/N).

Quickly shoving those thoughts away he instead goes over what he has to do tomorrow, for the rest of the week. He promised to show Kiva how to do a cartwheel before any basic flips. West was also promised cartwheel lessons. He’s been thinking about taking them out somewhere for fun. Maybe out of Gotham, but there’s some local things they could probably do. Laser tag might be good, or bowling. Bowling would be nice.

Returning to the kitchen Jason has made himself comfortable at one of the barstools. Dick picks up his Pop Tart packet to finish up the second one. A calm silence washes over them as they eat.

“Why’d you do it?” Jason’s deep voice softly cuts the silence, in the way a knife goes into soft butter.

“Why’d I do what?”

“(Y/N).” Dick turns his head but doesn’t say anything so Jason continues. “Why’d you keep going with the mission and then try to make up with him?”

“Because I felt bad, because he deserves better. He doesn’t have much but he’s nice, he’s kind, and snarky. He does this thing where his brow furrows a little when he’s thinking, or confused or just when you do something stupid and he doesn’t agree with it, but he’ll watch it happen and maybe call you stupid after, and he still listens to the radio. He can tie 20 different knots and knows bits of 4 different languages but couldn’t hold an actual conversation in any of them.” Courtesy of the different types of people (Y/N) grew up around. He told Dick he only knew enough to be polite enough, or to get some scraps of information about people, places, directions. Dick tried to speak to him in one of the languages and he was awful at it and they both laughed about it.

“He…” Dick trails off, swallowing. “He was my best friend, someone I could relax around. I felt free around him.” Sometimes for a moment Dick felt like anyone else in Gotham, he could imagine that this is what it was like to not have to travel around the world taking down global superpowered threats, growing up with anger in his veins that turned into nightly fights along with dealing with the rogue of the month.

He can feel Jason watching him carefully. The judgment, the care, the softness, as he realizes just how deep of a hole Dick dug himself into. As Jason opens his mouth Dick decides to make his escape.

“I think I’m going to go to bed. Goodnight Jay.” Jason doesn’t miss the way Dick’s fingers flex, the itch to do something there. Whether that something is a distraction or a desperation for a solution he doesn’t know.

He watches his older brother retreat back to his own room before Jason quietly sets to cleaning up and slipping out of the window. Messy relationships were far too common in this family but this type of messy wasn’t Dick’s usual style, more of Bruce’s if he was going to be honest. Still, a mess was a mess.

Purple and red blotches decorate his skin. Dick’s eyes have been darting around his entire body, mouth opening slightly before closing. He does this a few times, struggling to find the right words to say about it. (Y/N) takes mercy on him and speaks first.

“Someone realized who I was. There’s a few people in here because I put them here. Word’s probably going to get out that I was Tig. Surprised it took this long.” He’s been here for a good while now, and it’s not like his story is one people would sweep under the rug. Unless Dick and his family swept it themselves.

“I didn’t think about that… I’m sorry.”

“Well, at least you thought about my visitors list. Don’t need people pissed off at me coming at me in and out of here.”

“I’ll see if—”

“It’s a fucking prison, fights are bound to happen. I can handle myself.” He’s been toying with the idea of finding decent people and making allies in here but that might be more trouble. Groups were usually messy in his experience.

“I just want you to be okay.” Unbelievable. “Did the medics look at you?”

“I’m alive. People here are mad at me, and will continue to be mad at me. End of story.” If Dick would just fucking stop trying to be nice life might be easier.

“When are you coming to visit?” Kiva asks.

“As soon as I can. I promise.”

“When can we visit?”

“Kiva, we talked about this.” He’s never letting them come here. Too many people, some with a history with him. Now that people know who he is things have gotten more complicated. Things will also be complicated after he gets out. He’s been assured though that it will be handled. The amount of trust he’s continued to put into that family is surprising.

“But I miss you. We miss you.”

“I miss you guys too. I miss you so much.”

“But Jason and Dick visit you!”

“That’s because they’re big kids.” West says.

“He’s right, sweetheart.”

“Yeah! They’re so strong too! Dick can also do backflips and stuff.”

“They are.”

“They said you’re really strong too.” Kiva announces.

“Yeah? Well I’m slacking a little right now.”

“That’s okay.” West assures him. “As long as you’re okay.”

His heart clenches. He doesn’t even think Kiva remembers him much and West’s memories of him might be pretty spotty too with how long it’s been. Who even knows what they’ve gone through in the last 6 years on top of their childhood. Both Jason and Dick have assured him that they’re in therapy. “Yeah, I’m okay, buddy. Thanks.” In response West makes an affirmative sound.

There’s some muffled speaking on the other end. “Yeah!” West says, but he knows it’s not directed at him.

“Hi (Y/N).”

“Hi Nat. How are you, sweetie?”

“I’m good. We all are. I miss you.” If anyone remembers him much it’s Nat. To remember what he did and what it was like growing up. She remembers the people who took care of them before they died. That’s something he knows Kiva can’t remember, West at this age probably doesn’t either.

“I miss you too, all of you.” It strikes him then that Dick and Jason know more about Kiva, at least, than he does. “I’ll come visit as soon as you can.”

“Are you going to stay with us?”

“I’d like to, but we’ll see what I can do. I’ll figure it out. Dick and Jason are going to help.”

“Tim too?” Kiva asks.

He hasn’t seen Tim since that night. Seems like the same can’t be said for his siblings. Resisting the urge to snort he answers, “I think Dick and Jason will have it handled.” Even if they stop visiting as much he knows at least, they will be there when he gets out. If they are alive by then, if he’s alive by then. No, he’ll fight tooth and nail to make it back to them.

Unknown to him Natalia opens her mouth before shutting it. Because she remembers and she has so much to ask, so much she wants to tell him. Not now, not here. She’ll get the phone and have more time at some point. She has her own cell phone now. So they talk about mundane things until he says. “I have to go, I’m out of time. I love you guys.”

“Love you too! Bye (Y/N)!”

“Bye! Love you!”

“Bye (Y/N), love you.”

“You’ve been visiting me an awful lot since I got in here. You don’t usually stay in Gotham this long.” The longest Jason’s been gone is a month, which is strange because despite his relationship with his family getting better Jason is Jason and runs on his own agenda.

“I’ve got some work to do here, it’s going to take awhile.” His eyes flicker over the bruises on his skin causing his brows to furrow slightly and edges of his lips twitch for a slight second before going back to their previous state. Jason doesn’t say anything about it and he appreciates it. There’s an understanding the two of them have being Gotham street kids. Being from the same part of town, one that took everything they had and ripped it away to create the men they are now. Speaking of which…

“How is the Bowery?” It’s well known that it’s Red Hood’s territory.

“Slowly getting better. I,” Jason pauses. “Bruce has been helping, putting centers nearby, stores and shelters. There’s a food bank and a restaurant where people just pay what they can.”

“I guess, now you know why I never went with you.” Sometimes (Y/N) would hand things off to Dick to give to Jason or hand them directly to Jason so that it could be given to the people there. But he never went with Jason to drop it off or go himself. Work sometimes took him there, those jobs were done with more effort and tried to be done as quickly as possible.

Secretly he thinks that he’s just not strong enough to do what Jason does, that he’s too selfish to. Maybe he’s just not a good enough person to.

Jason nods. “Yeah, I do. But I appreciate what you did.” It was as much as he could do. Jason also knows trauma very intimately. He wonders if Bruce could understand (Y/N) too. He wonders if Dick has talked to Bruce about him, if he’s tried to advocate for him.

“You thought your siblings had been dead, correct?” Dr. Tavarez asks.

“Yes.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I saw them die.”

“Would you like to explain further?”

A metallic thud. Screaming. Crying. Yelling. More metal. Blood. A gunshot. Another one. Cold. A punch. Aches. Avenge.

“Gotham streets are not kind.”

He leaves the room soon after that.

“Because what would you know about getting your hands dirty to have a roof over your head or food in your stomach? You never had to worry about that. None of you did, none of you except Jason.” There’s a spark of anger in his eyes, a dangerous glimmer. Dick’s not even entirely sure how they got here. Maybe something about how Dick misses him or how (Y/N) really was a good person and he’s so sorry it ended up like this.

Maybe if (Y/N) had done something different, maybe if anything had been different, then this would be different. Then (Y/N) had bit back something about how maybe if Dick was different but thank fuck that he knows Dick’s true colors now.

“You kept going, even after that.” Like Dick does, coming back, talking. Despite what Jason says, what he’s been trying to work on. Dick with all his feelings and the ever growing amount of responsibilities he has.

“What else was I supposed to do? It’s hard to have a life when you barely exist in the eyes of the government.” Even in Gotham, where that’s pretty common. “And there were more scumbags out there, more families being torn apart, more childhoods being stolen.”

“There were better ways.”

“It’s what I knew. It’s the language they know. It’s what some people deserve.”

Dick knows that. He does. He knows it after seeing Jason when he came back and accepting his new ways. He knows it after Kori and Roy joined Jason and formed the Outlaws. He knows that after he beat Joker an inch within his life after he thought he killed Tim. He knows that with the quiet, angry fire always deep within him. He takes a moment to think before responding.

“I’m not saying that you’re wrong, but I think you weren’t always right, that you didn’t always do the right things. Some of the jobs you took hurt other people.”

“Welcome to life, do you need to catch up? The world isn’t black and white and people get hurt no matter how much you try. You do what you can.”

“(Y/N).” That fucking look on his face.

“Why do we keep doing this? Nothing happens. You come looking like a kicked puppy, look at me and come talk to me while I just fucking sit here and wonder why the hell any of this ever happened. What are you trying to do now? Haven’t you done enough?” Frankly he’s fucking tired of it and might take Dick up on that offer to not come back.

“Not until I can make it up to you.”

“We’re not doing this again.” His voice is firm and harsh. “There is nothing you can do. Not here, because you can’t.” Because he won’t. Because despite his own rocky relationship with him he is his father’s child, he is Batman’s first protege.

“There is. There has to be.” He’s absolutely desperate.

��You have given me the one thing I’ve wanted for the last 6 years and you’ve taken it out of my reach. You have condemned me.” Out of everything (Y/N) has or hasn’t ever said since he’s gotten here that one might have hit the hardest.

“I’ll make it up to you. Even if it’s not while you're here. Even if it takes years.”

“Why? Why do you keep trying? You’re the reason I’m here in the first place, so why try to make it up to me?”

“Because I love you!” They both pause, and falter. The confession hangs in the air between them. That’s also the loudest Dick has been since he’s been here. He goes to say something, but (Y/N) is faster.

“Don’t ever fucking come back.”

[allowshe]

OoOO 👻👹 It’s the devils hour || 3:00am || and I am praying to the angels 😇 to allow me to wake up in the morning with a new mind set , new outlook on life , and a new perspective on my life .

TWP 🛑⚠️

Hi , I’m Charliee . Long story long my background story starts when I was just 6 years old . One of my earliest memories was being in ballet 🩰 , and another girl my age with a Dora the explorer hair cut with red hair said in front of the entire class “ Look 👇🏼, Charliee stomach goes out like this |) <—— . I remember feeling so embarrassed , and ashamed of myself . At just 6 years old my self esteem plummeted . I would look in the mirror 🪞, and cry 😭 telling myself I was so ugly !

Fast forward 4 years I am 10 years old . That’s when my depression , and anxiety truly kicked in full force . At just 10 years old I was self harming . I hated myself . I hated the way I looked , I hated my personality , I hated my life . As the years went on it didn’t get much better . I joined high school to eventually drop out , and got my GED . Although my self harming came to an end I still was drowning in an ocean of depression . I joined cosmetology school ✂️ 💅 to finish all the hours that were required of me only to not take my state boards test , and never graduated , because I thought I was in love , and took the opportunity to move out of my parents home at the age of 18 to only find out I didn’t finish what was needed of me for a good career path to a emotionally, verbally , and sometimes physically abusive boyfriend who cheated on me repeatedly 😞 .

This relationship lasted 3 years until I said enough was enough . I packed my bags 💼, and moved in with my brother , his lady at the time , and their two children . It was the smallest town I ever lived in , and so meeting people felt nearly impossible so I introduced Tinder into my life.

As I’m scrolling through the app I see one specific person . He catches my eyes 👀 above the rest . I swipe right ➡️, and to my surprise we matched . We got to talking for months , but eventually stopped . One night my ex calls , and we get to talking . Mind you it has been months since I’ve seen this man . He apologizes for all the pain he caused me , and asked if I’d like to see each other again to which I agree . It was a weekend night he drives 30 minutes to pick me up , and take me back to the town he lived in to go see a movie . After the movie 🍿 we stop at a gas station ⛽️. We go in , and he decided he wanted to get a red box movie so I sit in the car and wait for him to decide . As I’m waiting I look inside to notice this guy checking out . I think he’s cute , whatever . But as I take a second glance I realize he is the guy from the Tinder profile I use to talk to before we lost communication. I wanted to make sure it really was him so I check to see if I still had his number , which I did so I gave it a call 📱 . As I’m calling I see that he is reaching for his phone out of his pocket , and I got scared and hung up ! I end up getting a text message saying “Hey was that you at the gas station?” To which I reply “ Yes 😂 “ He asked me how I knew the guy I was with (my ex) and he later explained that (my ex) was his brothers wife’s brother . LOL 💀 .

Well he ended up inviting my ex , and I over that night to hang out . Which to my surprise my ex was down to go so we do . As we are there I instantly just am so attracted to this new guy . My ex even told me later on in life that he saw the way I looked at new guy and he realized he had completely lost me . After that night I officially moved on from my ex boyfriend completely, and started hanging out with new guy 🔥.

When I started hanging out with new guy it didn’t take me long to fall head over heels with this man ❤️. He was everything I ever wanted . He treated me so much better than my ex . He gave me such a natural euphoria that I was straight up addicted to . We ended up living together , and I wanted to do everything for this person to ensure I was making him as happy as I could , but I eventually found out that was actually impossible 🚫 . I started to realize he had some issues , but it felt too late to back out of . I was SO in love . He was an alcoholic 🍺 , who had been cheated on and hurt in the past by his ex wife , and unfortunately I was just his rebound that lasted for almost 4 years 💔 . I completely lost myself in that relationship because he too cheated . Was emotionally abusive , and emotionally absent . This was the first person I truly fell in love with , and the first love that truly broke me the most . 💔💔💔

My depression was at an all time high . My self hatred was maxed out . I moved back in with my parents at the age of 22 , and was at my lowest of lows . At this point I was looking for a job , and my neighbor across the street offered me one , and told me to go to an interview the following week . As I’m waiting for that time to come my brother tells me he can get me a job with him at a bar 🥂 and grill 🍱 to which I replied no , because I had worked with him in the past , and it didn’t really pan out like I had thought it would 😂. Finally when the day arrives for my interview something inside of me told me not to go , and to take the job with my brother . I fought the idea , but gave in . I ended up getting hired , and on my second day my brother asked if I could pick up one of our co workers I’d never met before and take them to work since I was working and he wasn’t . He told me not to worry , because the co worker lived a few blocks down from where I was living , and it was less than a 1 min drive . I had no interest in having to pick a guy up to drive 40 mins to work , but I agreed . My brother shoots me his number , and I text my new co worker “ I’m on my way “ 🚘

As I roll up to my new co workers house I pray that he isn’t some weirdo that is going to make me feel so uncomfortable . I text him “I’m here” 🏠 and he walks out … 6’4 , pompadour hair cut , dark brown hair , dressed in black slacks , and a black dress shirt . 👀 wow I thought he was gorgeous, but I was so heartbroken 💔 from my ex that meeting him didn’t even make me nervous , and most certainly did not make me want to take any interest in him . As we are driving to work we get to chatting , and we both realize how our conversations would just flow . I felt so comfortable with him , and felt like I could completely be myself 😊. Ever since that day we would always hang out everyday at work , and after . We ended up becoming so close that we went from strangers to best friends very quickly . A year goes by of friendship, and he tells me he loves me ❤️ . I was so afraid of getting my heart broken for a third time . I was so afraid of getting cheated on . I was so afraid of ending up in another toxic relationship that I ended up trying to push him away . ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹

I’m telling you , I tried my hardest to push him away , but for some reason he kept coming back . He never gave up , and I eventually gave in❤️‍🩹❤️ . Fast forward to now ( 2 years later ) we have a beautiful 2 month old daughter 👶🏽 , and live together as a family . 3 years In total of knowing this man he is the first person who put in the work , who has never gave up on us , who fights for our relationship, and loves me right . Of course we have our problems from time to time , but he’s someone I can trust , love , and be my absolute self with . He has shown me it’s okay to love myself , and it’s okay to be myself 100% around him without feeling anything negative. He makes me feel good , beautiful , and accepted unlike any of my exes ever did from past . 🦋🦋🦋

As I look back at my life I feel as though all these events have led me to where I am now for a beautiful reason . All these events tore up my self esteem , self love , and self care , but I have realized that is my past . I am no longer that broken person . I can’t be . I love my life partner , and I love my daughter more than life itself , and it’s time to fully allow myself to love myself , and at least try to become my best version for both of them , but most importantly myself . ✨

I hope that one day as I travel this journey back to myself through self love , and self care I too can inspire my daughter , and others to want to do the same . I want to help my daughter , and others to allow themselves to have the confidence to be who they want to be , and love themselves for it . 🐛🦋

This is Allowshe . 🪴

[jobsrus1]

Girl With a Resume Plan

As I sat there waiting for the line to move forward at the local Kroger, I found myself talking to someone about their struggles trying to find a job. Naturally this would happen to me since I help people find Us to get jobs. They went on and on about how they can’t get most interviews, they don’t get called back or they don’t meet the qualifications. I asked them to show me their resume, I’m not a genius but I have some tricks up my sleeve. I noticed that they just had too much stuff on there, they were getting lost in the shuffle. I gave them all the advice I had and continued about my day. A week later, I was at the same Kroger, in a different line, and there was the man again that I helped with his resume. He said he got a job within that week. He sent out his new resume and viola, there it was.

I wanted to tell that story because it made me feel good, therefore I wanted to put some tips together to send out to the world in case it could potentially help someone else as well. We all can struggle with words, but we struggle most when we must write about ourselves – like a resume. Don’t think about it as if it’s yourself. Think about it as if it’s your best friend and you want them to look gleamingly, flawless. See below for some guidelines to help you write an easy and great resume:

Use a professional font, nothing fancy, you can express fancy in other ways if you’re trying to. Use Times New Roman, Arial, or Calibri.

Never go past writing one page. Some people say two, try to keep it at one.

Add a headshot of yourself. Not a selfie, a family photo or anything with other people, just a nice, clean headshot.

You should always start your resume with an introduction paragraph, that is your pitch to the hiring manager. I suggest writing that last so you can pull key points from your other sections into your introduction.

Always have your contact info at the top under your name or somewhere on the side depending on the template you use.

State your education, always. If you are getting an entry-level position, whether you are a high school GED carrier, a graduate or you have your Master’s Degree, put your highest level of education completed.

State your most recent job, and a job before that. Three jobs max. Complete the name of the job, the location, your job title, and the job duties you had performed but think outside the box. Don’t just say, cash register usage. Say handled funds for revenue responsibly. Put the dates you last worked. The month and year are fine.

List any soft or hard skills that may apply to the position you are seeking to gain.

Put any accomplishments you feel necessary, but this is not required.

I find it appropriate to always put two very high-skilled, high-level individuals you have worked with as references.

Lastly, make more than one resume. Just change the introduction paragraph several times based on the position you are seeking.

For more tips or for some good stories revolving around jobs and the workforce. Check out our next blog.

Signed,

The not so normal, lady behind the JobsRUs.com mask

[kaypeace21]

What's in a name? (Analysing all the names in stranger things)

*I'll be repeating some names more than once as I break down categories .

Show , book, and tv easterggs

Alot of character names may have deeper meaning but some are also refs to stories they liked. The stranger writers twitter posted a list of movies said to inspire s4 (which I’ll be referencing).

Dart- dustin names him this after d'artagenean (a 3 musketeers book character) and one of Dustin's fav candies (3 muskateers). Similarly his pet turtle yurtle is implied to be named after the dr Seuss’ story 'yertle the turtle'.

Brenner- main character from 'the birds', which was on the st s4 list.

Byers- john byers from x files. The duffers mentioned x files was an inspo for the show. Although John byers (from x files) resembles Murray as an unhinged conspiracy theorist. The documentary paradise lost was also cited as inspo for st- john byers and his son, terry, Michael, and Steve were names in said film

Jim Hopper- in Predator (another st inspo) he was a soldier who was flayed to death in the woods. Another character in the film with a similar fate was “Hawkins”.

Detective Wheeler and elle Holloway- from silent Hill franchise. Another ref mentioned by the Duffers. Holloway was the surname of st's Heather. Elle (is el) and Wheeler is Mike's surname. Wheeler was also on the ep of twiglight zone (another cited ref by the duffers) . In the ep 'mute' sheriff wheeler takes in a mute psychic girl as his foster daughter. So some hints at hopper too . Hopper even mentions el-anor (gilipse) in s1. The surname of a main character in the silent hill series.Lt. Colonel Sullivan (s4) could be a eastergg of silent hill 4 which had a Sullivan character.

Henderson- st twitter mentioned how all the bond films were on the s4 inspiration list . So Dustin's surname being the same as one of the bond characters is a nod. Duffers also mentioned ‘freaks & geeks’ as inspo- and 1 character’s surname was also Henderson (another nod).

Mrs Driscoll (from s3) - a nod to invasion of the body snatchers which was mentioned as inspo by the Duffers. And clear inspo for s3.

Powell (cop and partner of hopper ) - diehard films also on s4 list. He's named after the cop powell.

Callahan (cop and partner of Hopper) - father Callahan ref. He shows up in many of Stephen King novels. The Duffers have cited over 10 novels and books from him as inspo for st

Nancy- she's called ‘Nancy drew’ (from the novels). And the duffers have mentioned they are fans of elmstreet - who's main character was Nancy. Nancy also references 'Oliver twist" ,and that book has a character named Nancy in it. Nancy was also a first Lady in the 80s similar to her friend Barbara- who was also a first Lady in the 80s.Nancy's name might also be inspired by "Nancy Wheeler", a secondary character in the 1970 book Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret written by Judy Blume.

Fred (s4)- apparently a high-school journalist who may be friend or foe. This one is a stretch but given nancy maybe being an elmstreet ref- and her enemy being fred-die kreuger. Fred may have animosity to Nancy and that's why his name is Fred. I mean ... they even cast a new s4 character with Freddie kreuger's original actor.so...

Jason (s4) - is in the 1986 Nancy drew novel (when s4 takes place). He is similar to the duffers description. In the novel he's a rich, popular, arrogant jock and blackmailing students at the high-school . S3 even named one of its episodes after a nancy drew novel- so wouldn't surprise me.

Christie carpenter (s4/reffed in s1 by hopper)- christie is the main character in the hellraiser series (which is on the s4 st list). Carpenter is the surname of the director of 'the thing' name dropped in s3. (The flesh monster in s3 also resembles the thing) , and in s1 mr clarke watches it ,and mike has the thing movie poster in his basement.

Argyle (s4) - die hard 1-2 were on the s4 st list. And is a name of a diehard character.

Max- her name is 'mad max' like the 80s film. But since the Duffers like videogames. Her name may be a ref to max caufield from the ‘life is strange’ game as well. She has a 'never Maxine rule' similar to max in st. But the game character is similar to jonathan as she is a teen photographer and says similar words to jonathan in s1 saying she would rather watch people through a camera than interact with them.

Eddie munson (s4)- not going to lie. I have no proof of this but I immediately thought of the TV character Eddie Munster (the friendly monster ).

Possible comic book easteggs

The duffers are no stranger to comic book references. The duffers have already directly reffed xmen, wonderwoman, and green lantern. Kali's place also has a comic book ref to 'the invisibles' on the wall. While the s4 movie list mentions thor ragnock , age of ultron, and 2 batman films. Some of these refs will go over your head if you haven't read my DID theory. But a lot of this analysis will still be enjoyable. :)

Jane st ives (jane ives aka el). marvel. (jane st ives sees her dad k*ll her mom and vows revenge against him.Sort of similar to what brenner did to terry).

Stephanie harrington (Steve harrington)- 80s marvel comic. DP.7. Will DID ref. Antibody, is a medical resident who can project from his body a dark figure of himself (also called an "antibody", a word play on the medical term) that flies, can become intangible, and transfer its memories to another person by physical contact (mindflayer).  He later merges with the antibody. like how susie refs ‘wizard of earthsea’ -the novel where the young wizard Ged releases a shadow monster (said to be an ancient evil) but it turns out to be the dark aspects of his personality and the only way for the chaos to stop is to accept his darkness and merge as 1.

Barry bauman (Murray bauman) . marvel comics - Will did easteregg.Bauman lived in never ending darkness. He felt, that there was a realm outside the darkness and started to explore the entire content of his brain thus using now more than the usual 10 % .Also had telekinesis.He turned his attention to the stars in order to exact revenge on the human race which spends billions of dollars to kill each other, but wouldn't spend the mere million or so it would have cost to cure him. For his vengeance he transported the suns near our galaxy into his omnipotent brain. As the people of Earth would learn of the disappearing of the suns they would panic and feel Bauman's loneliness before he would destroy Earth.Despite the death of his physical body, Bauman's consciousness somehow survived and began hopping from body to body throughout the galaxy, his powers growing until the Star Thief was recognized as a major threat to galactic society.

Sinclair- last name of xmen rhaine.  Will Did ref. storyline Rahne Sinclair is mentally bonded to Havok against her will(Will/mf).She is subsequently manipulated by the Shadow King. Her bond with Havok causes her to act irrationally, sometimes threatening teammates, sometimes by flirting with them.  She undergoes more than one attempt to undo the bonding, with varying results. Her instability also manifests in many odd dreams, in which her identity is merged into pop culture figures. What’s funny is charlie heaton (jonathan byers) was just in an xmen movie with this Rhaine character.

Victor creel (s4)-sounds like mutant victor creed of the xmen comic. x men Mutant with ab*sive dad and poor socioeconomic background. He had a "birthday tradition" of ab*sing his young relatives on their birthdays. Which reminds me of Lonnie making jonathan cry for a week (because he forced him to k*ll a rabbit on his b-day). Not to mention Lonnie is prob coming back for Will’s b day in s4... so... the name is prob a ref to that ‘birthday tradition’. Could also be a stephen king reference -since Duffers love him. The Creel family was in sk’s book “pet cemetary’-which fun fact (the actress who plays El’s aunt is in the recent remake)!

Yuri (s4)-Yuri Topolov (Russian: Юрий Тополов) was a Soviet scientist and the first foe of the Hulk. 

Dimitri (s4)-Dmitri Bukharin was born in Kuibyshev, Russia (some sources say Moscow).  First appeared in Iron man.

Peter ballard ( s4 character) may just be a hellfire ref . since I guy with last name ballard was a double agent for the hellfire club (name of st s4 ep 1). And ballard means bald which the actor is certainly not lol. I don't think he's literally associated with hellfire but its just a ref. And because its implied in his st character summary despite working for the mental hospital-where brenner is most likely at- he's horrified by the treatment of the psych patients. So that may be where the double agent aspect would come into play.

Ian Hargrove (billy hargrove)- batman comics. had a history of mental health problems dating back to childhood, which his parents were unable to afford treatment for. His brother John hargrove tried to keep him out of trouble but Ian developed an uncanny talent for explosives (will the wise fire powers). He ends up at Archam asylum. Cough billy is Will's alter. Why he has the name billy (a nickname for William) . Jonathan in s2 mentions how he likes the writer vonnegut- who wrote slaughter house 5- the main character was Billy. Already mentioned how it connects to my did theory .

Jason carver (s4)- carver is the last name of the comic hero thunderbolt (in the flash)-the first name of thunderbolt is Will and his brother is named Lonnie. There was also a John carver in the comic.

Holland (barb's last name) last name of Swamp thing. I think its plot has quite a few s4/5 spoilers but Im not diving into it right now.

Names associated with religions or mythology 

(if you’ve read my DID theory- some themes will appear relevant in relation  WIll’s alters or to WIll’s past/tr*uma).

-‘Kali prasad".Kali  is the name of a Hindu goddess . Kali’s iconography and mythology commonly associate her with death,  violence, s*xuality, but also paradoxically -motherly love. In myths ‘she only k*lls demons’ and is described as  ‘overflowing with incomprehensible love for her children’ - (aka ST’s Kali k*lling people from hawkins lab for hurting kids). Her third eye stands for wisdom (like Will the wise).Kali is called at times ‘ the bright fire of truth’ (will the wise/fire powers).The devotee makes her image in his heart and under her influence burns away all limitations and ignorance in the cremation fires. This inner cremation fire in the heart is the gyanagni (fire of knowledge), which kali bestows (cough Will the wise-fire powers). The goddess also could create a darkcloud of lightning (similar to the mf). The phrase “brilliant as a dark cloud” is a snippet of one such prayer dedicated to Kali.The name Kali is derived from the Hindu word that means “time”. Kali receives her name because she devours ‘kala’ (Time)- like clocks ticking when El sees demogorgan/clock being wonky when Will see mf/clocks in s4 promos.’ After devouring time she resumes her own dark formlessness. “This transformative effect can be metaphorically illustrated in the West as a black hole in space” (cough mf cough hopper blackhole/time refs). Kali’s s2 butterfly-“Kali is the Hindu goddess associated with eternal energy. ... The cocoon, butterfly and the karmic golden wheel reflect Her deep connection with life.”And Prasād (her last name) is a material substance that is a religious offering to gods in  Hinduism .

-While, EL is the name of a Cannanite (male) god associated with “salt water “ (pool filled with salt in s1) who “dwelled in a tent” (in s1 Mike’s blanket fort) .And his gray-beard was described as " "full of wisdom.” él’  in Spanish means ‘he’- which could be a nod at her ( androgynous) presentation in s1. El can also be translated to "God" or 'god'. The el character has various mythologies depending on which culture/ religion is using the term 'el'. In the post-biblical period, "el" became a regular element in the names of angels such as "Gabri·el," "Micha·el," and "Azri·el," to denote their status as divine beings.And Jane translates to " Yahweh (god) is gracious/merciful". The cannanite god El was also dubbed “Compassionate God of Mercy.”  Earlier, a ninth century B.C.E. inscription  identifies Ēl- the name of the Babylonian water god Ea, lord of the watery subterranean abyss (cough watery  dark void in st). Terry (el’s mom-aka Teressa) was originally used in the Middle Ages for a “child baptized in holy water” (El in the sensory water tank/Terry used it too,according to Becky in s1). Eleanor (called this in s1)- can mean "sun ray" (possible the opposite of the ‘shadow monster’ or Kali who can represent a “black hole”). 

-Will-the s4 st movie lists (‘red dragon’, gods of monsters, & ‘blade runner’ ) mention the artist and writer William Blake  (specifically his painting of the angel michael fighting a dragon in revelations - reffed in st s1). He was one of many painters part of the exhibition of “ The World Turned Upside Down: Apocalyptic Imagery.”The World Turned Upside Down explores the myriad ways that artists in England visualized the apocalypse in a period fraught with political, religious, economic, and cultural change. 

During this period Blake was commissioned to create over a hundred paintings intended to illustrate books of the Bible along with revelations .  He also drew illustrations for the novel Dante’s inferno. Blake’s brutally satirizes oppressive authority in church and state.He said those who proclaim restrictive moral rules and oppressive laws as “goodness” are in themselves evil. Hence to counteract this repression, Blake announces that he is of the “Devil’s Party” (cough hellfire club ref-and dissing the satanic panic of the hellfire club and other marginilised groups) . He also says “men forgot that All deities reside in the human breast.” So Instead of looking for God on remote altars, Blake warns, man should look within.He produced a diverse and symbolically rich œuvre, which embraced the “imagination as “the body of God.” He wrote his own stories based on biblical writings- one includes the fire wielding character of Los (will the wise) who represented jesus. Los (like jesus does in revelations) causes the destruction of the world and the second judgment unfolds. The poem ends with Los’s unfallen state rising up and shepherding in science and removing the dark religions. I also talked about  how this story ‘book of los’ hints at the DID theory-but this is getting long-so you can just read the explanation here if interested. Also, hellooo Both names are William B(yers/lake). Billy (a alter of Will-sharing the name William) in s3 he even wore “lady of pillar” medallion- i.e about jesus/mary.

JOHN (supposedly Jesus’ blood relative- who wrote ‘revelations’.) In scripture John was called “the disciple whom Jesus loved as a brother” .Fire is the most typical element associated with the Saint John's Eve celebration (Jonathan did light the demogorgan on fire). Many scholars consider John & Jesus ("apocalyptic prophets"). Jonathan itself translates to " yahweh (god ) has given" in Hebrew.

Michael- Similar to kali, he’s a religious figure known for killing demons. He’s the arch-angel from the book of revelations (Apocalypse). A evil Beast (with seven heads usually translated to ‘satan’ or ‘dragon’) appears .“it was a 7″ causes Will to be attacked by the demogorgan ( which in d&d is a demon with multiple heads). The Archangel MICHAEL fought and defeated this 7 headed beast/satan. Corresponding with Mike at the end of s1 writing a fictional d&d story for Will (based off defeating the demogorgan) which was about helping kill a 7 HEADED MONSTER! Michael is also the archangel who oversees on Earth the natural element of fire (Mike telling Will the wise to use ‘fireball’ to defeat this same 7 headed monster in the game, at the end of s1)! Ironically though Jesus /Christian god is also associated with 7s a lot (he has 7 angels and during the apocalypse causes 7 plagues , he has 7 candles etc .)cause the number seven, represented ‘perfection’ according to ancient numerology . Will’s b day is March 22- (3) +2+2 =7 (“it was a 7”). Will’s bday even falls in what christians call “the holy week”( the week immediately preceding Easter.)  At the end of s1 they even defeat this 7 headed monster because Will rolls a 14 (which can be broken down into two 7s). Michael & William also have 7 letters in each of their names respectively- equating to this 14. This dragon biblical story (of Michael) is also William blake’s most popular painting. Also, random fact in revelations god has a rainbow throne (with thunder /lightning -will the wise powers- coming from the throne, and seven lit torches next to it ) . He also wears a rainbow halo. Lol. Michael also roughly translates to  ( 'Who like el?' The answer being roughly translated to ' no one like el' ... which i mean literally is saying there is no one similar to her. But I still think its a linguistic pun/ burn that Mike is not actually into El romantically).

Jim (James) hopper- According to the s3 script Hopper’s real name is James. JAMES (JIM) was an apostle to jesus- brother of john. And in the bible was called a ’son of thunder ’. Will’s powers/ hopper being an alter of Will's so technically brother of jonathan and thunder powers. Not to mention David on Instagram saying hopper has " he has risen. like bread" is a Jesus ref to 'he has risen"... even the bread ref could be a catholic ref to the last supper.

  Martin Brenner/marsha holland-  have their first name reference the roman god Mars who was originally a ‘thunder or storm deity’ (will the wise/mf powers). EL (in cannanite mythology) also allowed Baal the storm god to rule the entire earth.

ROBIN- was the God of Thunder’s- Thor’s- favorite bird. And Dustin also means ‘Thor’s stone.’The red belly robin is also an important bird in Christianity. Legend has it that the robin got its red belly from a fire in which it was trying to protect Jesus. Robin also name drops the greek god prometheus- the god of fire (will the wise) who brought human beings life and knowledge. And Steve looks at Robin and says "let there be light" a biblical passage. The robin represents selflessness for a higher truth. 

Barb- Saint BARBara- dad kept her locked away from the outside world (like el/brenner) . He tried to k*ll her when he learned she didn’t believe in his religion- so the dad was punished by “god” who electrocuted him with lightning/lit him on fire. (Will the wise powers).

Nancy- is derived from a medieval diminutive of Annis, an English form of Agnes.  There’s the christian saint Agnes- who was beautiful and from a wealthy family. She was the Christian saint of girls and v*rginity . And the duffers subverted this along with the problematic horror movie trope of the ' v*rgin female heroine surviving while her more se*ually liberated female friends are punished by the villain' ( by having her survive specifically because she decided to have s*x).Agnes was also led out and bound to a stake, but (allegedly) the bundle of wood would not burn, or the flames parted away from her (will the wise fire powers). Also people claimed that any man who tried to r*pe her was struck blind.

Hopper's wife’s name -Dianne- is also the roman goddess of ,nature, hunting and wild animals( and greek equivalent to Artemis) .Becky  means ‘snare’ -for hunting animals .Teressa (Terry) means ' huntress'.  The name was originally used in the Middle Ages for a child baptized in holy water . Name of 2 saints-Teresa of Avila and Therese of Lisieux. Lonnie’s gf (Cynthia) was originally an epithet of the Greek goddess Artemis, as well.

Power couple Angela & jake (s4) - Angela means 'messenger of God". And Jake (also means ”supplanter”) is derived from jacob. Jacob was the son of Isaac and Rebecca in genesis. El’s aunt,Becky (Rebecca) is wife of isaac.Other theories claim that Jacob is in fact derived from a hypothetical name like יַעֲקֹבְאֵל (Ya'aqov'el) meaning "may God protect".The name jacob is also where the names James/jim is derived from.

couple Steve spies on in s3- Anna Jacobi & Mark Lewinsky. Anna ( name of the mother of the Virgin Mary) Jacobi ("he who supplants"-aka same meaning as jim since both names are derived from jacob). Mark (”the god mars”-same meaning as martin brenner) .Lewinsky (lion-same name meaning as Lonnie). Also derived from the Hebrew root לוי‎ (leví, “priest”)

Joyce means "lord". Could also be a ref to the ('unofficial') saint Joyce who gave up wealth to live in poverty.

Ted-is the short form of the names Theodore and Edward. Theodore is a Greek name meaning "gift of God", Edward has an English origin and means "wealthy guard." Eddie (from s4) also means ‘wealthy guard”

Holly (nancy and Mike's sis)- Holly meanings are 'One who is pious' or 'sacred'

Karen- can be short for Katherine-one of the first christian saints.”Saint Katherine of the Wheel “(er). A 4th century martyr who suffered t*rture on a spiked wheel.  Wheeler does mean ‘occupational name for a maker of wheels’ after all. 

Gospel of LUKE (lucas?) , or simply Luke, tells of the origins, birth, ministry, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus Christ.

Sinclair- Catholic saint of computers and TV screens (i mean... he is in the av club).

MAXimilian was deemed a saint in the 1980s- saint of journalists and radios. (Both aspects of s3)

Saint stephen/steven ( STEVE)-an early disciple and deacon . Considered one of the first m*rtyrs of the church.Stephen is first mentioned in the Acts of the Apostles as one of seven deacons appointed by the Apostles to distribute food (lol icecream) .According to Orthodox belief, he was the eldest and is therefore called “archdeacon”.

Sara- Her name is a feminine form of sar (Hebrew: שַׂר‎), meaning “chieftain” or “prince."  She was the wife and sister of Abraham (ew -given her being an alter of Will though, such a name doesn’t surprise me). Similar to st Barabara’s dad - Abraham tried to k*ll his son isaac in the name of god. Becky (El's aunt) - is derived from Rebecca - wife of Isaac.

Claudia (Dustin's mom)- Christian woman of Rome greeted by Paul in his second letter to Timothy (in the bible).

Sam mayfield (max's dad) -  Short for Samuel or Samantha, from the Biblical name Shemu'el, which means "God has heard", from the Hebrew shama, meaning "heard" and el, meaning "God". Samuel is rumored to be argyle first name.

Marsha Kelly (s4)- Kelly means "frequents churches" or " bright headed". Given she's a counselor the bright headed pun makes sense. But maybe she's not to be trusted if she frequents churches during a satanic panic arc which was fueled by Christian religious extremism . Or she's someone who contrasts the rest of the religious people in town since she's not originally from hawkins...who knows. x files’ main character was catholic but in one ep she criticized a small town for the satanic panic occurring-and says how accusing these kids who listen to rock as satanic or being k*llers is ludicrous.

Peter ballard (s4) - Peter was also the name of an apostle. 

Tina (side character s2)- like christy (s4) it’s short for Christina which translates to "follower of christ" or 'stream'. Tina was the gal who hosted the t halloween party and also the name of one of Erica’s friends in s3.

Samantha (goth girl jonathan talks to in s2 party) translates to "told by god".

Tommy (s1-2) "God's gift" or "twin".Thomas is the Greek variation of the Aramaic name Ta’oma’. It came about because there were too many apostles named Judas; Jesus renamed one Thomas—meaning "twin"—to distinguish him from Judas Iscariot and the Judas also known as Thaddeus.

carol (tommy’s gf)- Carol is the short form of Caroline and the meaning is derived from the English vocabulary word for “song” or “hymn". A hymn being a religious song or poem.

Benny ( who helped El at his dinner) - originally derived from latin bennedictus which means "blessed"

Stacey (s2-3 ) rejected dustin at dance. Stacey- "resurrection "

Grigori (the guy following and tracking hopper, Joyce, and alexi)- The name was adopted by early Christians heedful of the Biblical passage located in 1 Peter 5:8, “Be sober-minded; be watchful."grigory now means 'watchful and vigalent'

Alexi- prob based on the russian folklore story of alexy. A clever priest's son who tricks a dragon.

Harrington- similar to Robin's religious animal iconography. Harrington means 'he goat'.The most popular image of the Satanic goat dates back to the ever-mysterious Knights of Templar, who were accused of worshipping an idol known as Baphomet (a 1/2 human 1/2 goat man). Roman Catholic society decried it as a demon that demanded human sacrifice — but it would take a few more centuries before the goat became a truly occult symbol.Anton Lavey adopted Baphomet as the sigil of the Church of Satan in 1966, and it has appeared on countless metal album covers. But, Baphomet isn't the lone source of inspiration for our goat-like depictions of Satan.it's also believed that early Christians, seeking to demonize preexisting Pagan traditions, drew comparisons between the Devil and the Greek god Pan (god of nature), who happened to resemble a goat.Some cited how in revelations- during the apocalypse- Jesus separates the 'lambs from the goats'. ( supposedly Good vs bad)

Given the fact s3 alluded to the satanic panic. A Christian movement in the 80s that demonized and said d&d ,rock music, homosexuality, other religions, stephen King,horror films, wearing black,and non conservative ideology were 'satanic.' I wouldn't be surprised by this possible ref. Heck even William Blake criticized similar religious movements in his own time period. Several movies from the s4 list allude to this. The most obvious being the documentary paradise lost (named after the fictional retelling of satan/adam and eve story) - the documentary directly focuses on a witch hunt of rock loving teens (wrongfully accused of m*rders) in a small town during the satanic panic. Not to mention ironically s4 is hinted to be around easter. So Using such symbolism to address religious fundamentalism and the bigotry/hysteria it can cause isn't surprising. No i’m not lumping all religious people into this negative category- obviously.

Other Names with similar definitions

*Hunting /forests woods, nature, animals

Hunters and people in forrests

name meaning : becky - snare (a trap for catching birds or animals). Teressa-huntress. Dianne/Cynthia (Hopper’s ex wife/Lonnie’s gf) - is a roman/greek goddess of hunting and wild animals.  Rhadaghast- Will's password for cb is a lothr wizard who protects forests/wildlife.martin/marsha- previously god of agriculture/plants.As an agricultural guardian, he was believed to directed his energies toward creating conditions that allow crops to grow, which may include warding off hostile forces of nature (pumpkins rotting in s2). El in phoenician culture was called Elus and its Greek equivalent Cronus (god of agriculture) steve- he goat- associated with pan- god of fields, groves, wooded glens . brenner- ‘someone who cleared forests by burning’. the blond women, Brenner worked with,  Fraizer-  “of the forrest men”

* FUN FACT: Kali’s name originally was going to be ‘Roman’ (which is derived from Romulus-the son of Mars... aka Martin Brenner) .

Trees

Ives and owens- ives means 'yew wood' while Owen means 'yew tree. ' bauman- nickname for someone who lived near a tree.comes from the German word "baum," or "boum" in Middle High and Old German, meaning "tree’. Jennifer hayes- Jennifer  derived from Old English words "jenefer", "genefer" and "jinifer", all of which were variants of Juniper used to describe the juniper tree.Lonnie means "oak tree; or lion". Lion plushie in cb and the lion el has along with the tree establishes a connection between all 3 maybe? Oak groves were especially sacred to  the goddess dianna too. Buckley (it has many different translations) - Old English "boch ley" (with boch meaning beech tree and ley meaning wood, glade or clearing).

Nature

buckley if translated from "bok lee," means meadow, or field. mayfield- open country (field) where madder (mæddre) grows. Holland- wood land, Bruce (who was also possessed) - means WILLow lands . Keith (s2-3) : woods or forrest.Hargrove- meadow filled with rabbits (Jonathan’s hunting story).Holloway is a topographic surname, which was given to a person who resided near a physical feature such as a hill, stream, or type of tree. Tina means 'river' . Burness (guy who claimed he jumped into quarry)-stream. Neil- cloud. Lowe (Bruce's last name)-This surname is derived from a geographical locality 'at the low,' i.e. the hill. Hayes means "hedged area'.

Flowers

Flo (hopper's secretary)- means flower. Suzie-  lily flower. Susan (Max’s mom)- means lily, lotus flower or rose. Karen (in Japanese can mean)- flower, lotus, or water lily. Heather is also a variety of small shrubs with pink or white flowers which commonly grow in rocky areas.  Erica is a type of "heather" plant. martin/marsha: in the legend of Mars,his mother become pregnant with him using a magic flower- which was given to her by the goddess flora.

Bright (aka intelligent)

Bob- nickname of Robert . Both Bob and Robert mean 'bright, shinning or fame'. Aka smart -he's called ' Bob the brain ' for a reason.

Robin- is also diminutive of Robert . And we all know robin is smart too. Being multilingual/ cracking the code.Robin (like Robert) also means 'bright, shining , or fame.'

Lucas- means "bright" or "shinning" aka he's also a smart cookie. His firework plan saving the day.

Lonnie and Larry (the mayor) can both be nicknames for Lawrence which also means ' bright one' or 'shinning one'. Well... both are cunning I'll give them that. Lonnie is unfortunately ...smart. I think this detail had other foreshadowing. Joyce to Will about Will the wise ' if he's so wise why does he need the fireballs? can't he just outsmart the bad guys? " Will: " yeah. Usually. BUT sometimes the bad guys are smart too." I never understood why on earth Joyce would be with someone as awful as Lonnie in the first place- than be with his literal opposite Bob- but maybe she just found intelligence attractive?

Names associated with thunder/lightning/fire (Like Will/mf/Will the wise)

Byers-reprsents Greek Zeus (god of thunder/lightning). Martin - references the roman god Mars who was originally a ‘thunder or storm deity’ .ROBIN- was the German God of Thunder’s- Thor’s- favorite bird. And Dustin also means ‘Thor’s stone.’Jim- “son of thunder”. Christian god- has throne (surrounded by thunder /lightning). Kali- could summon thunder storms.Nancy/Barb-both saints associated with fire. Kali-is called at times ‘ the bright fire of truth’ /and bestows the fire of knowledge. Robin also name drops the greek god prometheus- the god of fire. Mars -the keeper of Rome's perpetual flame . The Robin bird in a Christian story myth protects Jesus from hell's fire. William Blake- wrote about a fire wielding character of Los who represented jesus. Jesus during end times wields fire. Michael is the archangel who oversees on Earth the natural element of fire. Fire is the most typical element associated with the Saint John's Eve celebration (Saint John- called Jesus’s brother).

Animals (and their symbolism)

Byers- means ‘ cattle shed’.The Greeks considered the bull animal totem to be a symbol of Zeus (god of thunder and lighting - will the wise powers). He is the head of the gods and the almighty ruler of Olympus.  I”n hinduism, Shiva is known as Gorakhnath, means the lord of the cows.  And is also known as, Pasupathinath, the lord of all animals (similar to Rhadaghast). According to some scholars, Shiva’s association with cows and bulls might date back to the Indus Valley period. Cows have a special significance in Hinduism, as aspects of Mother Goddess and as symbols of selfless service. Mahatma Gandhi declared the protection of cows a central feature of Hinduism.Hindus worship cows as the Mother Goddess and symbol of motherhood, kindness and forbearance.”

Tigers: (Sarah’s plushie/ Hawkin’s macott/ Will & Mike have tiger posters in their rooms): The goddess Kali & God Shiva wore a tiger skin (this fact was actually mentioned by Kali in the prequel novel ‘suspicious minds’ ).”In many tribal traditions of India, the tiger (or lion) is worshipped as a god. In some Hindu hymns the domestic fires are compared to the tigers that guard the house.Tigers also figure prominently in many Indian folk-tales, Jataka-stories, and the Panchatantra.”

Lions:(Lonnie means ‘lion’ and el and Will have matching lion plushies)- In the Bible, the lion has two opposite meanings: it is compared to the Devil (1 Pet 5:8) and to Christ (Rev 5:5). Aka: Lonnie is the devil. The kids are the opposite. Nancy also compares the demogorgan to a lion. “In many tribal traditions of India, the lion is worshipped as a god.One of the ten incarnations of Vishnu is Narasimha, who has the head and shoulders of a lion, but the torso of a human.Goddess Durga, a fierce form of Parvathi or Shakti, has a golden lion as her vehicle, while Rahu, a planetary guard, rides upon a black lion as his vehicle.Lions form an important part of Hindu religious art. The face of the lion (simha-mukha) is used in images and sculpture in many Hindu temples to decorate the doors, walls, arches, and windows.The memorial pillar at Saranath  contains four beautifully carved standing lions at the top on a round abacus representing the imperial power. They now constitute the official emblem of the government of India.”

El almost k*lling a cat- “Some superstitious beliefs are also associated with cats in Hinduism. For example, killing a cat is considered a grave sin, for which one may have to offer prayers and give in charity at least seven golden images of the killed cat. “

Harrington- he goat. Buckley- has various translations. Anglo-Saxon: ‘bucc and leah’ meaning goat and wood respectively. And obviously there’s the robin-bird. And I've already discussed their symbolism. Goat= baphomet/pan. 

Robin- thor's fav bird/ helped Jesus from hell's fire.

Buckley- can also translate to " field filled with deer" (like the deer attacked by the demogrogan or the bambi film jon reffed in relation to the hunting story about lonnie).And Karen ( when from it’s Hebrew origins) can mean- antler or horn. Also the caananite God el was usually depicted with animal horns on his head.Diana in Roman art usually is accompanied by a hound (demo dog) or deer.  Because of the story of her turning an attempted r*pist-hunter into a deer/ and then causing dogs to attack him.  Deer is also one of the symbolic animals accepted since early Christianity as an allegory of Jesus Christ and the Christian Disciple. And when associated with Shiva (kali's husband) in Hindu iconography, the deer omen denotes sovereignty over nature and symbolizes the lord of all animals, humans, and the King of the Forest. In many visual and written illustrations, human beings and deer appear as close companions and in some cases, humans adopt the face or antlers of a deer, in images more common in stories of human strife. Deer also have a supernatural significance and appear as apparitions of divinity and in legends of spiritual awakening.

Hargrove- meadow filled with rabbits (like the rabbit lonnie made jonathan k*ll.) Hopper sounds like thumper the rabbit- which jonathan mentions in relation to bunnies . And ... idk... Hopper did make that pun in s3 about bunnies to Larry (lawerence) ? We also have rabbit refs elsewhere like with- el in Benny's. They play the song 'white rabbit' a song referencing Alice in wonderland and in el's room at Terry's house is the white rabbit from that story. Also paralleling to jonathan- el was almost made to k*ll a cat by her father (Cheshire cat aka Alice in wonderland ref + cats are associated with magic powers/witch craft).In Celtic folklore, the rabbit is seen as a supernatural being from the Otherworld.The rabbit symbolism in Christianity has found its way through the Germanic deity Eostre from which the name Easter came to be (s4 will most likely have the Easter holliday).One tale describes the rabbit as the pet of Jesus Christ. And rabbits were often inserted into art of jesus' mother .

Creel- basket or container of fish.fish is taken as symbolizing Christ’s faith, charity, and abundance. A biblical story goes how Christ fed his disciples with 2 fishes and called them “fishers of men.”  The Christians made an acrostic from the Greek word for fish, “ichthys” as early as the first century and it is, “Iesous Christos Theou Yios Soter”, meaning Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior.

Names hinting at character traits (which are very literal)

Mr clarke (science teacher)- clarke means 'scholar'

Dottie (in kali's gang)- she was in an insane asylum . And ‘Dotty’ is a very old British slang term  for 'crazy'

War (usually relates to ‘villains’)

Troy- means ' foot soldier'. Martin brenner: Martin means 'war like'. Lonnie is diminutive of Alonzo or Lawrence. Alonzo means 'ready for battle'.

In contrast to Lonnie, Will can mean "desiring peace. " Axel  who is part of Kali’s crew (who i think Will created along with others ) even means "father is peace."

Twin

Tom (Heather's dad) and Tommy mean ‘twin’. Robin's crush Tammy ('twin') Thompson ( 'son of tom’).

* Besides similar/identical name meanings.There’s also a lot of other repeated names that go into this whole twin/mirror imagery which i find strange... makes me wonder about @strangertheory ‘s version of the did theory. If not...maybe it’s just a allusion to the whole Will vs Will the wise arc (possibly) coming up?

Jennifer hayes (popular girl) & Jen (Mr clarke’s gf). Tina (highschool gal) & Tina- erica’s friend- Tina & christy are also nicknames of christina (s4 character). Susie (dustin’s gf) & susan (max’s mom). Sam (max’s dad) and Samantha (girl at party)/ samuel (possibly argyle). Billy Hargrove, Bill (dianne’s new huband),  and Will-all being nicknames for William. Robin & Bob-nicknames for Robert. Lonnie & Larry-nicknames for Lawerence. Ted  & Eddie being nicknames for Edward.James (Will’s bully), Jim Hopper (real name James), jacobi, and jason- all 4 are derived from jacob . Marsha Holland (barb’s mom) and marsha kelly (therapist s4)/martin relate to mars. Tom (reporter), tommy (highschooler), thompson (other highschooler).

it’s definitely peculiar to repeat names like this in a story. Unless it means ...something... I talked about how David was mentioning alot of doppelganger/twin imagery recently-here. So the name mirroring could just be an allusion to the Will/WW arc coming up ...possibly?

[noladyme]

La Cuervo - Chapter 1

She is used to the biker-life, having grown into a woman in the familiar embrace of SAMCRO. A bad decision and a gun-shot later, she gets whisked off to Santo Padre, and put under the protection of another club. What is supposed to be a short stint in the Mayan headquarters just north of the border to Mexico, turns into something more; when la quervo begins to develop feelings for el angel - and he seems to return them in kind...

TW: violence, blood, drug use, alcohol, assault, smut, fluff, angst

In the spirit of "The Crown Princess of Charming" - though in a different universe (I couldn't screw with Jax and Cat's happy ever after) - this is a story about O.C. Nina and Angel Reyes. It is obviously non-canon, as characters who have passed on on Mayans M.C. are present in it, and others have been excluded completely. Nina is written as a cis-female, but I have tried to keep her race and looks as ambigous as possible. Should you find any of this story offensive.

1.

It was an especially hot day for a bike-ride. The man in front of her on the bike might have been used to these trips, doing them often and in leather no less; but Nina was beginning to feel like a rotisserie chicken under the scorching sun. She was wearing jeans and a jacket over a tank top, knowing from experience that road-rash was especially shitty, when you went down without anything covering your skin. She sighed heavily, and tried to shift in her seat. “We’re almost there, luv’”, Filip called out over his shoulder, his voice barely audible over the roars of the engines behind them. “Uh huh…”, Nina replied, and couldn’t help but dream of air-condition and shade. Her backpack was heavy on her shoulders, in spite of the fact that she hadn’t brought much with her; just clothes, and a book or three. Filip patted her thigh comfortingly and sped up, probably as eager as she was to get this ride over with; though she knew that neither of them were looking forward to reaching their end destination.

She hadn’t gone on this trip willingly, but there had been no other option. Her chosen family had made it clear; she needed to disappear, and keep her head down. Going south was the best option for now, as she’d be out of Charming, but not so far away that they wouldn’t be able to reach her if needed. They were trying to keep her safe, even if safety currently meant being roasted alive on the back of a motorcycle, by the southern California sun. Looking back at their companions, both Happy, Tig and T.O. smiled at her. She forced herself to smile back, and was happy she was wearing sunglasses, as she knew the smile didn’t reach her eyes. She was feeling quite a bit overwhelmed by the situation.

Nina used to love riding on the back of Jackson's bike when she was younger, would squeal in excitement when he made sharp turns, and went over bumps. He’d given her the first helmet she’d ever owned. Now, she wore his own helmet. The one he’d not put on, on his last ride. After what had happened – the choices Jax made that had led him to colliding with that truck, and killing himself, on the same highway his father had died on years earlier – bikes were merely a means of transport, and the thrill of rushing down a road on one, was gone. She wasn’t afraid of them by any means, she just didn’t get any joy from them anymore.

Just as she had convinced herself she was literally about to melt together with the seat, Filip finally turned down a gravelly road, and slowed down to a halt. In the distance she saw a group of men on bikes, driving towards the murder of crows she’d travelling with up until now. “You remember what we talked about?”, Filip said. “Yeah, but I don’t get it. Don’t you trust these people?”, Nina asked, and pulled down the scarf she’d used to cover her mouth and nose from road-dust. “We do, and you can as well; but this thing you’ve got yourself caught up in, is complicated”, he replied. “Alvarez, the president and his VP knows everything, but they don’t want to get tangled up in it more than necessary. If you find yourself talking to anyone else, all you say is…”. “I’m in need of a fresh start after a bad break-up”, Nina sneered. “I know. Fucking damsel in distress…��. Filip squeezed her knee. “We’ll be in touch, luv’. Promise… You’ll be back home in Charming before you know it”. “Yeah… home”, Nina muttered, and used his shoulders as support, as she got off the Harley.

Stretching her back, she felt a tap on her butt from a familiar hand. “How are you feeling, princess?”, Happy asked. ”I feel like I did, after that time I won the mechanical bull-riding competition, at Tig’s birthday party”, Nina chuckled, and pulled at her jeans, to get them in place between her thighs. The curly-haired biker in question joined them, with a grin on his face. “Yeah, that was a beautiful!”, he exclaimed. “Well worth the 500 bucks I spent on renting that thing”. “You didn’t pay for that shit”, Filip said. “Screw you, Chibs”, Tig said, with jest in his voice.

Nina took off her sunglasses and helmet; and looked towards the arriving bikers. Two men on road kings – handlebars as high as the sky – led the incoming group. Nina recognized Alvarez right away, having seen him a few times at club parties. The other man she figured was the president of the South California Mayans. Behind them, came a group of bikers, in a caravan formed much like the one she’d ridden in with; arranged by status. She made short eye-contact with a bearded biker somewhere in the middle of the group. He had dark and intense eyes, and his lips twitched into a smile, just before she looked down at the ground. “Stay by the bikes”, Filip said, and squeezed her hand. The gravity of the situation and the dust from the road was beginning to get to her, so she grabbed her inhaler, and took a discrete hit from it; before putting it back in her pocket.

Alvarez and Bishop got off their own bikes, and the bikers behind them halted as well. Filip spread out his arms congenially. “Hola, señors!”, he hollered, and walked up to the other group. Nina cringed at his exclamation. T.O. came up behind her, and patted her shoulder. “Some things never change in this world, kid”, he muttered. “You’d think people would learn… evolve”, she replied. “You think letting brothers in to the club was just gonna magically make Scottie and the rest of them stop being idiot white-boys?”, T.O. chuckled. “Nah. This is as good as it gets. Let’s just hope the next generation does better”. He raised an eyebrow meaningfully at Nina. “You’ll let me know if Wendy is in touch, right?”, she asked. “You know we will”. “Thank you…”, she whispered. T.O. nodded solemnly.

“Englishman…”, Alvarez smirked, and reached out his hand to the SAMCRO-president. “Like a bullet to my Scottish heart”, Filip said, and took his hand; pulling him in for a friendly hug. He greeted Bishop in the same manner, and Happy, Tig and T.O. followed suit. “You have our merchandise?”, Bishop said. He was a short and serious looking man, but he didn’t seem as menacing as she’d expect a Mayan president to be. “Straight to the point, then…”, Filip said. “Yes, we brought your merchandise; as much as we could carry. The rest will be here in a van in two days. You get your discount as promised, as payment; and in return…” Bishop glanced towards Nina. “We got you”, he muttered, and patted Filip’s shoulder.

Nina swallowed thickly as the Mayan president approached her. “Obispo Losa. Bishop”, he said, and reached out his hand. “You must be Nina…”. “Just Nina”, she replied quickly, and shook his hand. Bishop nodded. “You’re going with us to Santo Padre. We have a trailer set up at our compound. My prospect uses it normally, but we’ll kick him out for the time being… Just until we figure something else out for you”. Nina felt her cheeks burning. “You don’t need to do that. I don’t want anyone on the street on my account”. “He’ll be fine”, Bishop said quietly. Nina shuddered suddenly, feeling the weight of the situation wash over her. Seeing her expression, Bishop put a hand on her shoulder. “You’ll be safe with us”. “Ok”, Nina muttered. “Thank you”. A smile ghosted the man’s face, and he nodded towards Filip.

The two groups of bikers finally merged, and greetings were shared, before some bedrolls were spread out on the ground. Guns of different types were hidden in pockets of the fabric, and Nina sighed deeply; looking away, as if doing so would protect her from the truth of what was going on. The bearded biker walked up to Bishop. No longer on his bike, he was strikingly tall, and admittedly handsome as hell. A shorter Mayan, slim and looking a little jumpy; and a friendly looking prospect joined them. “Should the girl be seeing this?”, the tall one muttered to Bishop. “The lady is as trustworthy as they come, amigo”, Filip said. The biker raised a brow at him. “Well, okey dokey, Robert the Bruce”, he said. “You know who Robert the Bruce is?”, the prospect asked. “I got my GED, bro”, the tall one replied. The prospect chuckled quietly. “Cool it, Angel”, Bishop said. “She’s coming with”. “What, she’s like part of the merchandise? Since when do we deal in trafficking?”, the slim one asked, and gave her a confused once over. Nina drew her lips back in a sneer. “Fuck you, asshole!”, she hissed. The biker frowned at her. “That’s Coco to you, ma’”, he grunted. “Who are you?”.

Bishop went to stand next to her, and nodded at Filip once again; as if saying it’s ok, I got this. “This is Nina. Just Nina. She’s the package we’re taking care of for a while”. “La cuervo is the package?”, the biker he’d called Angel said, letting his eyes trace her form with a pleased expression. “Not the kind of package I’d expected”. “Crow or not, we’re setting her up in the trailer at the yard”, Bishop said. “Prospect, you gotta take a hike for a bit”. The prospect sighed, and nodded; making Nina feel guilty beyond belief. “Really, I can…”. “You’re safer at the compound”, Filip muttered quietly.

“Time to say goodbye, man”, Alvarez said. “We saw cops a few miles out. Need to move”. Nina instantly felt her heart fall to her stomach, as the bikers rolled up the bedrolls, and began reloading the bikes, with the Mayans taking over the guns; and from now on, her. She turned to face the men she’d arrived with. “Fuck…”, she sighed. Filip pulled her in for a tight hug. “You’ll be fine, luv’. It’s just until this thing blows over, to keep you out of sight. Treat it like a holiday; enjoy the desert sun, relax…”. He looked towards the Mayans observing them. “And try not to end up losing your panties at another biker-party”. Nina pulled back, and punched his shoulder. “That happened one time!”, she muttered. She noticed Angel and the shorter biker, Coco, smirking at each other, from the corner of her eye. “And we had to kick that prospect’s ass for it. He was never the same”, Tig said, pulling at her arm, to take over from Filip, and give her a hug. “Don’t offer to cook. They might think we sent you to poison them”. “Kiss my ass, Trager”, Nina scowled, and kissed his cheek. “I love you too, kid”. Squeezing Tig tightly, Nina then let herself get enveloped in Happy’s arms. “You got your .38?”, he asked. “In my jacket pocket”, she sighed. “And your inhaler?”, Happy added. “The other pocket. With my cigarettes”, Nina muttered. “Good girl”, Tig said from behind Happy. “Maybe take the time to quit smoking as well; huh, sweetheart?”. She gave him a crooked smile, as he lit up a cigarette himself. “Anyone messes with you, call us. I’ll carve their eyes out”, Happy said, and kissed the top of her head. She noticed a stray tear in his left eye. “Allergies…”, he grunted, and wiped it away quickly. T.O. gave her a quick squeeze as well.

She turned towards Filip again. “I love you, little sister. Say hi to Chucky from us, ok?”, he said. She nodded, and her mood brightened slightly when she was reminded of the fact that there would be at least one person that she knew, where she was going. Even if he was a weird, chronic masturbator, without fingers. Filip kissed the corner of her lips. “Now go… We’ll be in touch if anything comes up, yeah?”. Nina nodded. Filip looked towards Bishop again. “I’m trusting you with someone very special, here”, he said. “You have my word. She’ll be treated like family”, Bishop assured him.

SAMCRO got back on their bikes, after Bishop had handed them an envelope with a wad of cash inside. “Do not let this woman near any tequila, fellas”, Filip said as a parting comment. “Not unless she’s got her underwear superglued on”. “Fuck you, Filip”, Nina smiled embarrassedly. With a final wave at her, they started their engines, and rode off, leaving her behind with a group of strangers she was supposed to trust with her life and secret from now on. She forced her mind to go blank, to avoid tears, and to be able to focus on the ride ahead.

“You ride with the prospect”, Bishop said. “I’d offer you the ride myself, but Marcus and I have another meeting, so we’ll be splitting up about 20 miles from here. Taza will lead the group taking you back to the compound”. He gestured towards a long haired, serious looking biker, with a Vice President patch on his cut. The prospect walked over to her, and reached out his hand. “EZ…”, he said, and smiled congenially. Nina took his hand, and shook it. Angel eyed her with an undefinable expression; when he called out to Bishop. “Yo, jefe. The prospect is a shit driver with a passenger. Maybe she should ride with someone else”. EZ scoffed at him. Bishop narrowed his eyes at Angel, before replying. “Yeah, ok. Nina, go with Coco”. Angel looked disgruntled, but didn’t say anything. Nina put her backpack on, and was about to walk over to Coco, when Bishop grabbed her arm to halt her; giving Angel a look out the corner of his eye. “I’d rethink that superglue, sweetheart”, he said, a slight smile ghosting his face. “I’ll be fine. Word around Charming is I got mace spraying out of my nipples, when my bra comes off”, Nina replied. A murmur of laughter went through the group, and she put on her helmet again, before walking over to her new chauffeur.

Scooting forwards a bit, Coco let her use his shoulders for support, as she got on his bike behind him. “Hold on tight, niña”, he said. “It’s Nina. And I’ll be fine”, she replied, and put her hands on his waist. He grabbed her hands, and pulled her arms all the way around him. “These ain’t no sports bikes”, Angel said, and Coco started up the bike. The roar of the engine made Nina jump slightly, and she noticed Angel had a gleeful smirk on his face. “Told you”, Coco laughed triumphantly.

The bike didn’t have an actual pillion-seat, so to sit comfortably, Nina had to sit closer to Coco than what she was used to with other riders. Angel drove along-side them. The exhaust of the bikes in front of them and the dust from the road hit her nose, and she was about to let go of Coco with one hand, to lift the scarf over her mouth and nose again. He slowed down, and grabbed her wrist. “Told you to hold on!”, he exclaimed. “I know how to ride bitch”, she replied. “Is that what SOA calls it?”, Angel asked, his voice barely audible over the sound of the engines. “I prefer the term riding queen”. “Bullshit”, Coco cried out with a grin on his face. Angel shook his head, and laughed. “Yo, who’s crow you got, ma?”. “I don’t know what you’re talking about”, Nina said. “Which SAMCRO-member is your old man?”, Angel reiterated, making clear his Coco’s meaning. She shook her head, and didn’t reply. “Just trying to figure out how precious the cargo is", Angel said, and sped up the bike again, letting Coco and her pull in behind him.

Bishop, Alvarez, and a few of the Mayans Nina hadn’t been introduced to yet, pulled off the highway after a few more miles; and Taza took the lead of their caravan. They were silent for the rest of the ride.

---

Santo Padre seemed like worlds away from home. The smells and sounds were so different from what she was used to. Charming was full of middle-class, small-town people who all looked reverently at the patches usually going through town; and everyone knew everyone. Nina noticed some of the residents of Santo Padre nodding at them as they passed; but theirs weren’t the same respectful gazes. The Mayans didn’t have the same history with the area, as SOA had in Charming; and were still building their reputation here. She felt like an alien in a strange world.

They pulled down a smaller road, just outside town, and were met by a large gate; which – after a holler from Taza – was opened by a pretty teenage girl. Coco slowed down to almost a halt, and looked at her. “You’re supposed to be at school, mija”, he said. “Gym-class… But I got cramps”, she replied. “That’s a bad excuse”, Angel said, having pulled up next to them. “What do you know about that? You got a uterus?”, Nina said. Angel frowned at her, but the girl smiled slyly, and waved at her, as Coco continued onto the lot. “That’s my kid”, he said over his shoulder. His voice had a hint of pride to it, and she noticed his back straightened.

They went through a scrapyard, and pulled up at a wooden building – the Mayan clubhouse. Nina got off the bike, and took a second to stretch her legs. She took off her helmet, and looked around; feeling very out of place. Suddenly, a familiar voice caught her attention. “There was a beer-delivery while you were away; but the man was very rude. He says he wants payment up front from now on, and he didn’t even say goodbye”. Nina turned towards the voice, and a smile spread on her face. “Chucky!”, she called out. The balding man lit up, and walked towards her. “Miss…”, he began. “Nina… just Nina. You know that, Chucky!”, she said, and patted his shoulder. “Chibs says hi”. “He’s not here?”, Chucky asked. Nina shook her head. “Then why are you…?”. “It’s a long story. I’m going to hang out here for a while”. EZ gestured for her to follow, and with a final smile at Chucky, she followed the prospect towards a trailer outside the clubhouse. Angel was about to trail behind them, when Taza patted his shoulder; to talk to him.

The trailer was small, and clothes cluttered the table and cot inside. EZ scrambled to pick up his stuff. There was a pile of old novels strewn on the counter. “Sorry…”, he muttered. “If I’d known…”. “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put you out”, Nina said apologetically. “I’m just a prospect. I do what my president tells me”, EZ smiled crookedly. “It’s fine, really. I’ll stay at our pap’s place while you’re here”. “Your?”, she asked, questioning the plurality in his words. “Yeah. Me and Angel’s. He’s my brother”, EZ replied. Nina dropped her backpack and helmet on the cot. “Is it ok if I leave some of my books here, though?”, he asked, and gestured towards the stack of books on the counter. “Absolutely, as long as you don’t mind me reading some of them”, Nina replied. EZ raised his brows, and seemed pleased at her response.

He found Nina some clean sheets from somewhere, as well as a blanket. “It can get cold out here during the nights”, he said, as she took it with it a thankful smile, and placed it on the cot in the trailer. “This far south?”, she asked. “Yeah, it varies. Some nights I have to wear two sweaters and socks; other nights, it’s like sleeping in an aluminum can over a lit stove”. He knocked the roof slightly, letting the sound of metal fill the tiny space.

There was a roar of laughter from outside, as Angel and Coco shared some inside joke. “So, is your brother your sponsor?”. “He was. Took care of me, and got me in to the club, after I got out of jail. I was having kind of a hard time, and he helped me out… But Bishop took over, after some statute changes…”, he said, before halting himself. “… Which is stuff you shouldn’t even know about. Does SOA let their old ladies in on club business in Charming?”. She chuckled and shook her head. “I wouldn’t know".

“You just a croweater then?”. Angel had appeared in the door, and Nina jolted at the sudden interruption. “Sorry… Bishop is back. He wants to talk to you in his office”. “What does he need me for?”, EZ asked. “Not you. Her”, Angel said. He stepped inside the trailer, his head almost hitting the ceiling of it; and picked up the helmet on the cot. “Your helmet looks worn… Doesn’t fit your head either. It’s not safe”. Nina felt bile rise in her throat, and yanked it out of his hands. “Don’t touch it”, she hissed. She held the helmet protectively in her arms. Angel furrowed his brows at her, and licked his lips, as if he was about to say something. “Sorry… It’s an heirloom”. “Ok…”, Angel said. “Didn’t mean to overstep”. EZ cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable at the tension of the situation. “Don’t want to keep the prez waiting”, he said.

All three of them stepped out of the trailer, and EZ went ahead of Angel and her, as they walked towards the clubhouse. “How do you know about the way a club runs? Your old man lets you in on stuff like that?”, Angel asked. “Why do you keep asking about my old man?”, Nina said. Angel smirked. “So, you do have an old man”. Nina took a second to think. She wasn’t in Santo Padre for a long time; but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have a good time. Besides, Angel didn’t seem like a long-time kind of guy. “No”, she said, and looked at him out of the corner of her eye. His smile widened. “Good to know”.

---

The Mayan clubhouse had similar decorations to the ones in SAMCRO’s clubhouse; though clearly inspired by their proud Mexican and latinx roots. Nina instantly felt at home there, surrounded by leather-clad men, and inhaling the scent of motor-oil and beer.

Bishop was seated by a table, and spread out his arms to greet her, as she entered with Angel. “Step into my office”, he said, and gestured towards a chair opposite him. Nina sat down, and Chucky appeared from somewhere, planting a mug of coffee in front of her. “Black as sin…”, he smiled. “Just the way I like it. Thanks, Chuck”, she said. Chucky scuttered off, leaving them to it. Alvarez hadn’t come back with Bishop, but Nina knew not to comment on it.

Bishop took a sip of his beer, while Angel settled on a bar-stool, taking the cold one EZ handed him from behind the counter. Most of the charter seemed to be scattered throughout the room. “I’m sure you understand why we’re not having this conversation in templo. We don’t allow women at the table, and even if you weren’t one, you’re not wearing a patch”. Nina nodded solemnly. “I understand”, she said. Bishop gave her a short smile. “Here’s the deal. SAMCRO is paying us to look after you, while you stay in Santo Padre for a while”. “She’s the package we’re guarding?”, a bald Mayan asked. “Not what I expected”. He leered at her. Bishop sent him a hard look. “Nina left Charming to… start new”, he said, and looked meaningfully at her. “Right?”. “Yeah… I won’t be staying long”, she said. Angel chewed his lip, and looked quizzically at her. “Why does she need us, though?”. “She is used to an MC having her back. It’s just for comfort and peace of mind for SOA”, Bishop said.

Taza sat down next to Bishop. “You’re not familiar with the area, so you should stay on the lot. Only leave if you have someone with you”, he said. Nina knew what he was really saying; that she was more or less on lockdown, and if she did leave the compound, it needed to be with a patch. It wasn’t anything new. She’d gone into lockdown with SAMCRO before; though on a club-wide basis. “It’s your house… Your rules”, she said. “Good”, Bishop said. “You’re welcome to the facilities here, and if there’s anything you need, you let us know”. “The prospect is used to going on tampon-runs”, Coco grinned from his own stool by the bar. His daughter, who was standing behind him, hit him over the shoulder. “Let me know if you need anything you can’t trust these idiots with. I’m Letty… Leticia”, she said. “Control your kid, Coco”, Bishop said, but smiled at the teenager none the less. “We expect you to pull your weight around here. Chibs tells me you have experience behind a bar, and that you would sometimes help Chucky out in the office, back when their auto-shop was still running. You can do the same with the scrapyard. I trust I don’t need to tell you about keeping your nose out of our other business”. Nina eyed the pack of smokes on the table, and Bishop pushed it towards her. “Anything you need”, she replied, and took a cigarette. “Anything?”, the bald biker neck smirked. Angel got on his feet, and smacked him over the head. “Stop being a creep, Creeper”, he said, and walked over to light her cigarette. He kept eye-contact with her, while she took in her first lungful of smoke, and let a smile ghost his face, before stepping back again. Nina stifled a smile, and felt a rush of blood to her head; as well as other parts of her, that were even more intriguing.

Bishop got on his feet. “Templo. We got some shit to talk about”, he said. “How did things go with Palo? He know who did in his cousin yet?”, Creeper asked. Taza stared daggers at him. “At the table, fuckhead”. The Mayans all went towards a beautifully ornate door, leaving Nina with EZ, Letty, and Chucky. Angel sent her a final look, and shot her a sly smile before closing the door behind him.

---

While EZ helped out Letty with what looked like some homework, Chucky was running in and out of the clubhouse, lugging cases of beer and soda. Nina slipped behind the bar to help him fill the fridges. “You don’t have to do that”, Chucky said. “I need to do something to pass the time”, she replied.

As they worked in silence, she noticed Chucky looking at her occasionally, as if wanting to say something, but not quite having the courage. “Ask…”, she said. “It’s not my place”, he said. “Why not? We’re friends, right?”, Nina smiled. “I’m happy you’re here, Chucky. It would have sucked not having even one familiar face around”. Chucky lit up. “We’re friends?”. “Of course we are. In spite of the fact that you used to tell Jax on me, whenever I was doing anything he might not like”. Chuck blushed. “He asked me to keep an eye on you when he wasn’t around”. “Yeah… Just keeping you safe, darlin’”, Nina imitated the former president of SAMCRO. Chucky smiled. “He was a good man”, he said. “I wish he’d believed that about himself”, she sighed. “So… ask”. Closing the fridge, Chucky looked at her hesitantly. “Why did they bring you here? Did they lose you in a bet, like me?”. “No… nothing like that”. “Then why?”. Struggling with opening a bottle of soda for Letty, who’d stepped over to the bar with EZ. Nina took it from him, and opened it, before giving it to the girl. “I know Chibs took over from Jax, both as president, but also as your…”. “Yeah…”, Nina sighed. “Why would he let you out of his sight?”.

EZ accepted a bottle himself, and was unsuccessful in pretending like he wasn’t listening in on the conversation. “I needed a fresh start. Wanted to get out of Charming for a while”, Nina said. Her cheeks were beginning to burn. “Why? Did something happen?”. Nina’s eyes travelled the room, finding it hard to reply. “Bad breakup…”, she said, almost like a line from a manuscript. “Chibs lets you date?”, Chucky said. “Happy lets you date?”. She wasn’t surprised he hadn’t mentioned Tig. The man had gifted her a 6-pack and a case of condoms for every birthday, since the day she turned 18. “I’m a grown ass woman, Chuck”, she almost giggled. “Yeah, but Jax…”, Chucky began. “Isn’t around anymore”, she replied shortly, feeling immediately guilty. “I’m sorry… It’s still a sore subject”. “I accept that”, Chuck said, his eyes letting her know she was forgiven for her tone.

Nina smiled softly, and went to open another box of beer.

---

[tessagracerichards]

I saw [TESSA RICHARDS] at a coffee shop in [MANHATTAN] today. I forgot how much [SHE] looks like [ZOEY DEUTCH]. They are a [TWENTY-SIX] year old [CHILD LIFE SPECIALIST] who’s been in NYC for [THREE YEARS] now. Every time we run into each other, they are always [TENDERHEARTED AND NURTURING] but I’ve heard people say they can also be [BLUNT AND GUARDED]. [SHE IS LOVE BY PARACHUTE] reminds me of them every time it comes on the radio. — [saxon, she/her, 26, cst]

Out Of Character

Hello hello bbies! I am Saxon and this is the absolute labor of my love Tessa, please love her even though she doesn’t deserve it! I am very open to connections, ideas and plotting so please, please, please do not hesitate to hit me up if you want to conjure something up with my disaster child! 

Also please forgive the mess that is this intro and her Pinterest, she’s been around for years so things have built up and gotten chaotic over time. I really told myself I would shorten her intro but I didn’t manage much, please look away. 

Basic Information

Full Name: Tessa Grace Richards.

Nickname(s): Tess, Tessie. 

Date of Birth: November 10th, 1994.

Gender: Cisfemale.

Pronouns: She/Her.

Orientation: Heterosexual.

Language(s) Spoken: English, Sign, Spanish.

Pinterest

Background

So Tessa was born to an unwed couple who were in their mid 30′s at the time, her mom thought the two of them were hopelessly in love until Tessa was four and dude just dipped? Her mom came home one day and all his stuff was gone, no note or anything, he emptied their account and they haven’t ever heard from him since.

Her mom is an absolute saint of a woman however (think Lorelai from Gilmore Girls meets Donna Sheridan from Mamma Mia), just an absolute quirky angel of a woman who definitely took in and helped abandoned animals but was also the place all the kids in town knew they could go if they had shitty parents/living situations or just a bad day and they needed a safe place to go? So obviously she stepped up and took down all dudes pictures and just raised Tessa like the single boss she is.

Tessa grew up into like an angel of a kid but oh buddy was she a chaotic one. Total tomboy, full of insane energy and personality, always on the move and exploring and doing things she shouldn’t be. Definitely the type to show up back at home as the suns going down just covered in dirt and bumps and bruises. 100% knocked her own baby teeth out from falling and slamming her face and had two front silver teeth as a little kid.

She was never very girly and because she grew up in this southern town that was just full of very critical asshole kids from more well-off families than her own was, particularly the girls who were very prissy, she definitely ended up clicking more with boys and quickly became ‘one of the guys’. Like undoubtedly had an all male friend group and was definitely the girl that girlfriends would be paranoid about while all the dudes were like confused as to how their girls were jealous because Tessa was just like another guy/little sibling, there was no interest on either end.

Has slight anger management issues? Like she’s chill but when she blows up man does she blow up. Pushed a girl down a flight of stairs at school after she made a remark about a friend, the family pressed charges and Tessa had to go to anger management classes and serve community service hours. She also got kicked out of school and just decided not to go back, went online and just got her GED at seventeen instead.

She realized her hometown didn’t have much to offer her and it wasn’t where she belonged, nor was she ready for college, so she took what money she had saved and instead purchased a sprinter van and began road tripping around the U.S.

At some point along the way, dumbass met a boy that wormed his way into her heart and it was a kind of a slightly unstable relationship because she would try and push away from him and her feelings but he always drew her back? Already has a shitty relationship with love after her father and two not ideal high school romances. Dude tried though and even proposed after like months of them being together and she panicked and ran but still he drew her back and they agreed that they should chill with the idea of engagement/marriage? There was always another girl in the picture though and even though he assured her that his feelings were with her, his actions often seemed to show otherwise.

After yet another break, the two ended up sleeping together but she definitely realized that he wasn’t in love with her at all/anymore so she saved herself the conversation and just dipped before he woke up and ran, spent a solid week just out partying/drinking and ended up sleeping with some stranger and  then ended up pregnant with no clue as to which guy was the baby’s father. Whether fortunately or unfortunately, it was the one night stand’s who decided he had no interest in being around.

Obviously she knew she needed to change her course and focus on becoming a mother and setting up a future for herself and her child, but not being financially independent enough, she reached out to a lifelong friend who allowed her to move in and began to figure out school.

She’s always been a big fan of kids (worked for a daycare after school, got involved with a charity that worked with orphans/orphanages while traveling) and so she decided that she wanted to be a child life specialist and is still in school but also working an internship with Presbyterian Morgan Stanley Children's Hospital.

Ended up having a little girl named Addison (Addi), this child is her whole world and she’s definitely the mom that posts about their kid too much on social media but she’s just turned Tessa’s life around and helped her mature in ways she wouldn’t have without her and she just loves her kid more than anything/anyone else.

Personality

A dork? Literally the biggest dork, the dorkiest of dorks, just a whole friggen dork. This child rambles like you wouldn’t believe and her mouth 100% works faster than her brain so like you never know what to expect but she’s just a happy, friendly, sarcastic little bean with social anxiety and a heart of gold tbh.

Also an aggressive lil’ lady though, like 12/10 chance she’ll throw hands if you want to fuck with or say something about the people she loves.

A chaotic soul as well like down to party and have a good time and will definitely drink a dude under the table, definitely broke her ribs two summers in a row from a drinking game because this child doesn’t know when to slow down or chill out, she’s just trying to live.

But also the mom friend? Like even before becoming a mom, she’s used to taking care of people and making sure everyone’s good like? 100% convinced her friends to do dumb shit as  a teenager and then turned around and tended to their wounds. Also if you’re in her house and it’s meal time, you’re eating. It’s not an option, like sit and eat dinner and tell me about your day.

Emotional as hell, like definitely cries during commercials and Disney movies, but like if you’re trying to tap into her serious emotions she’s gonna shut that shit down. She keeps people locked out tbh and just jokes about the serious shit in her life if she does talk about it.

Desired Connections

Friends; could have lived in/visited Texas and met when she was younger, met while she was traveling,  met through her charity work or just after her/them having moved to New York recently.

Exes; so her most recent ex is off limits because it’s based off a real connection but like either of her exes from high school? The first one (cheated on her) would have had to have lived in Texas for some time but the latter (only with her on a bet to see how long it would take to get in her pants, she broke dude’s nose when she found out) could have been visiting friends/family for a summer? If anyone has a character that works for these I’m down for the drama.

Hookups; Tessa is very weird about hookups/one night stands so this is a little limited but my girl definitely needs a few. 

Half siblings; so Tessa’s dad basically bailed when she was little - maybe he had another family? He could have had a kid before her who he also bailed on, could have started a family during the same time or after, he could have stayed there for them or bailed on them as well? They could know about Tessa, or neither could know about the other? Tessa pry wouldn’t know about them because she made it a point to never bother searching for this man let alone any family but literally I’m down for whatever other ideas you’ve got on this one!

Patients; if anyone has any younger siblings or kids of their own that perhaps Tessa helped or is currently helping take care of through her internship? She does everything from work in the hospital to house calls and works with both the medical and therapeutic aspects of things. 

[lcrdoflies]

self-para: sawyer writes a letter to his parole officer when: day 11, around 1am where: by the campfire

Amir,

How’s it going, you sonuvabitch??? Hope you and yours are well. I’m addressing this letter to you on account of you’re the only one I can trust to actually read it, so read it all the way through, you hear??

It is now the 11th day since our plane crashed somewhere in the Pacific. Supplies are starting to run low...food’s not looking too good, either. We’ve been collecting water through holes in the ground and boiling it over a fire in metal bottles – talk about some real Survivor SHIT!! So with food inventory being zilch, me and some of the boys are gonna try our hand at saltwater fishing tomorrow on the bay. Wish it was under different conditions but I’ve been hankering to give the ocean a go since we landed and there ain’t no time better than the present.

I had a couple conversations today that got me to thinking about who I’ve been and who I wanna be going forward. That’s why I’m writing you now, other than I’m running out of addies and can’t get any shuteye. You've always been better than I am at seeing the forest for the trees, as they say. Before I ended up on this wild fuckin ride, I used to think of my life as consisting of two parts: before juvie and after juvie. Now I think I’ll come to look at it as before the island and after the island. Crazy how just 11 days can be a week’s work for one average joe and a life-altering situation for another, ain’t it? 

Before I left, you asked me who the hell Sawyer McLaren is. And the answer I came up with is this: I’m still trying to figure that out myself. Sometimes it feels like I haven’t changed since the day I stepped foot in the slammer. Other times I feel like a whole different man than I was when I got on that plane. I don’t know if that man is better than the one I used to be, yet, but I do have an idea of where he’s headed.

When I get out of here, I want to get my degree. My GED, or whatever they’re calling it now. And I want to get out of Conrad. Go somewhere with skyscrapers on the horizon and pigeon shit in the streets...gonna be a while til I can save up to get that boathouse in San Jose. But I like a while. Means I got more life to look forward to in the meantime. 

I also want to stay in touch with the guys I came here with. Not gonna run away this time – I’ll write more letters if I got to!! We’ve seen shit like you wouldn’t believe together...done shit you wouldn’t believe, too (don’t ask – what happens in the clearing Stays In The Clearing). But if I’m being honest with you, I wouldn’t go through none of that shit with anybody else. Would you believe some of us hated each other’s guts not even a week ago?? I’m telling you, good buddy. Crazy what 11 days on a deserted island can do.

Take me and Marcher for example: we was at each other’s throats like a couple angry leghorns by day 3, and now I’d go so far as to consider him one of my closest buddies here. Says he wants to play for the NHL someday (he’s Canadian) and I believe the fucker might actually do it. Just needs to learn how to enjoy life a little, too.

Then there’s Dash. Crazy cool dude from Fla-ri-dah with a pink buzzcut and a sexy lady crocodile tattoo. Think he’s got even crazier stories than I do about his friends back home. Would love to sit down and have a beer with him for real someday. 

Liam’s a bunny hugger in every sense of the word. Real good kid with a kind heart, full of surprises too. Lukas is from back east and knows a lot about tech. He’s smart, but the things he says straight up worries me sometimes. Might just be an error in translation on my end. JJ’s one of the guys coming fishing with me, and he knows a lot about EVERYTHING. He’s like a walking encyclopedia, I don’t know how he keeps all that knowledge in his brain without it spilling out of his ears. It just goes in one end and out the other whenever he tries to explain it to me.

Blue reminds me of Finn – the life of the party, always trying to make people laugh. Dev’s the opposite: he’s quiet and sensitive, but means well by others. Joe and Kian are from the other side of the pond, but they couldn’t be more opposites of each other. Can’t understand a word they say most of the time...they probably think the same thing about me, when I think about it. 

Only guy I haven’t been able to crack yet is Sarge. He’s a bit of a hardass...think Marcher dialed up to 10. A bit rough around the edges, but he has his moments of humility sometimes. I wonder what he’d be like if we met under different circumstances. I wonder if any of us would even look in one another’s directions if we met under different circumstances. 

The first couple days here, I spent a lot of time looking for someone to blame all of this on. On the pilot for crashing the plane. On you for suggesting the Twilight Zone retreat to me. On myself for being in bad enough shape for you to suggest the Twilight Zone retreat to me. At one point, I wanted to blame my mama and my Pa and even God for putting me into existence. And I lived to tell you that I’m through with dwelling on the past. Can’t do nothing about what’s been done. But I can do something about what’s to be done. I want to survive. I want to live. I want to try.

I know you’re not really reading this, good buddy, but please don’t give up on us. The feds, the search teams, whatever. Tell them to keep looking for us. That we’re not lost causes. That we’re rough around the edges and we’re carrying some baggage and we’re future NHL players, bunny huggers, dreamers, sons and brothers and kids with a lot of life and love in us left to give. My Pa used to say that a man never deserves, he earns. But I know now that he’s wrong. We deserve the chance to survive, and we deserve the chance to live.

My lids are starting to get reallll heavy so that means it’s time for beddy bye. Know that I meant it when I said I hoped you’re doing well. I hope Finn and Holden are doing well. And Pa. And my mother. I hope they’re not in bad sorts about me and that they can find peace in knowing, somehow, that I’m doing alright. Same goes for the families of the other guys, too. We’re gonna make it out of here someday.

Arrivederci, good buddy. See ya on the dark side of the moon.

Sawyer

[sandalaris]

SethKate for the 10 sentence meme?

one sentence per genre for a pairing

How can anyone do any of these with just one sentence?! At least I tried.... there’s a lot of run on sentences in this, btw, although after a few I just decided the one sentence rule could shove it and went with keeping each one short, and at least one I said screw it and made it pretty long for a one-sentence story.

1. Angst

A shadow self, that’s what Amaru called them, the ones she twisted and turned and brought forth from the other side, and logically Kate knows he had no choice, knows he did what he had to do to save Richie and her and the world, but logic has no hold in the face of screaming gaping wound in her chest that pulses and weeps grief and guilt when she looks at Seth’s face. It’s a cruel and ugly twist of fate, to still love the man who killed her brother.

A/N: A mild AU I will never write (but have thought about what would happen before) in which Amaru did her shadow-self thing on Scott and Seth is forced to kill him.

2. AU

There’s nothing wrong with the school itself, she decides, even if she does find some of its rules and traditions a bit odd. She wouldn’t even need to be here except Our Lady of Sorrow holds the only duel credit program with both an opening in Statistics and Intro to Psych that was willing to let Kate in given her... unusual circumstances (being homeschooled, a devout Baptist, and technically enrolled at a local public high school - a PE credit apparently requires a bit more than her daddy and the internet can provide - had her sure that even applying was a lost cause). She only has to spend half a day on campus and only one of her classes is even near the annex building so she hardly sees Seth (she refuses to call him “Mr. Gecko” on principle. She’s only somewhat a student here, and he is certainly not her teacher, even if he is a teacher.. she thinks).

She’s counting the weeks until the semester ends.

A/N: I would love to read this as a full fic... just not sure I want to write it, lol. 

3. Crack

No. Nuh-uh. No way. Seth is not some pansy assed prince charming setting out on a quest or one of those glory seeking wannabe knights who graduate from the Fairytale Training Academy, and he’s certainly never wanted to be anyone’s goddamn hero, so little miss damsel in distress, who’s probably some secret lost princess because Seth’s read this tale before and he hated it the first time around, can save her sob story for some other guy because he is absolutely not-

“Please.”

...fuck.

A/N: A reluctant Seth who is entirely too aware of fairy tale tropes and trying everything he can not to be in a one? Way more amusing than it should be to me.

4. Future fic

Seth eyes the group of sparkly wrapped boxes sitting on the counter with distrust, part of him already counting their numbers and trying to figure out how many have his name on them. After last year, when Seth managed to sneak a peek at every single last gift and “ruined the surprise,” Kate had managed to hide every Christmas present so well he’d begun to wonder if she’d decided he didn’t get any this year.

He reaches for a small, shiny box, the tag just peeking out from the curly bow and revealing a “th” in a familiar loopy penmanship, when Kate suddenly hisses behind him.

“Don’t even think about it.”

A/N: “Future” makes me think domestic fic (at least in FDtD), and that’s not an area I’m real familiar with, so *waves hand* this is what you get. :P

5. First Time

Her hands are shaking. Not visibly, but enough to make her fingers feel weak and the gun in her grip far too dangerous.

“You ready?”

She doesn’t know if she’s imagining the doubt in Seth’s voice, regret bleeding through at agreeing for her to play a bigger role, but she nods firmly anyways, tightening her grip and stepping forward.

A/N: Kate’s first heist... although I doubt Seth let her use a gun the first time. Too dangerous in the hands of an amateur. And I’m pretty sure Seth kept Kate’s role as danger-free and background as he could, because she was still fighting so hard to be considered an equal partner at the beginning of S2.

6. Fluff

She’s just managed to settle into the perfect spot when the bed shifts slightly behind her and a familiar hand fumbles sleepily at her arm and over her stomach before finding the hollow dip of her waist. Kate lets out a half-hearted protest, bits of warmth escaping at the blanket slips down and the sheet bunching beneath her as Seth wastes no time tugging her across the mattress, the sound dying into a soft laugh as he tucks her half under him and grumbles wordlessly against her temple without even opening his eyes. She shifts, tugging the corner of the pillow down a bit so its not digging into her neck before letting out a happy sigh. Perfect.

7. Humor (I had a hard time with this one, so I just wrote something random)

Kate makes a noise of frustration, pushing herself from her chair and snapping, “I’m gonna die a virgin. Again!”

“You know,” Richie says with far too much brotherly glee, “if you’re looking for someone to-”

“Shut up, Richard!”

8. Hurt/Comfort (another one where I didn’t exactly want to go full hurt/comfort, so instead I went Hurt? As in injury? Yeah, lets go with that.)

“Ohgodohgodohgod.” She can’t seem to stop the litany of words, repeated phrase cycling through her mind as she presses harder. There’s blood, so much blood, seeping red and too thick through her fingers that she can’t even feel the pain.

She should feel it, she thinks, she did before. Or maybe its better that she can’t, she doesn’t want a repeat of the well.

She takes another step, seeing the door just a few steps away. There are people beyond it, Seth and Richie’s people (Seth’s going to be so pissed, she thinks with a kind of worrying detachment.) It’s a simple goal: get to the door. Everything will be alright if she can just get to the door.

A/N: Kate is totally OK in this. It’s bad, but not as bad as she thinks, and while she doesn’t make it to the door before collapsing, someone comes through really quickly and sees her.

9. Smut  Hand holding?

The leather is soft against his skin, well worn from years of near continuous use and Kate’s dedicated care. He remembers when she first got them, the fancy looking box with its folded tissue paper holding them inside like they were a gift. He had hated them, hated the way they covered Kate’s small, deadly hands, the way Dad expected for her to be grateful, how necessary they were.

He slides his hand up, pad of his thumb brushing over the expensive leather covering her palm before it presses against the soft, vulnerable skin of her inner wrist, and he swears for a moment her can feel the nervous flutter of her pulse before he curls his fingers to lock around her wrist.

She looks at him, an amused quirk of to the edge of her lips as he raises her hand between them and he meets her gaze, not bothering to measure the redness of her eyes as he reaches his free hand up to pinch the fabric just above her pinkie.

“What’re yo-” She cuts off with a choked gasp when he tugs, but doesn’t jerk back. He’s inexplicably proud of her for it.

Her eyes are wide and a little panicked, bottom lip trapped between her teeth as she watches him tug at the top of each finger, loosening the well-fitting glove until it sits loose on her small hand.

He takes in a shaky breath, feeling unaccountably nervous as he grips the empty tip of the glove’s middle finger, like he’s removing far more than just a simple bit of leather. But then again, maybe he is. After all, Kate’s almost never lets any of them see her without her gloves, not willingly.

He pauses at the thought, gaze flicking away from his task to look at Kate. He regrets it almost immediately. He wasn’t going to stop once he started, wasn’t going to give Kate cause to think he held any of the fear she’s convinced he must feel. But maybe she sees the question in his eyes, or feel it in the sure way he holds her wrist because she nods, small and hesitant but there. He pulls the glove the rest of the way off and lets it fall to the floor.

He lets out a breath just as Kate seems to suck one in, her gaze locked on her bare fingers and Seth loosens his grip, fingers already turning so he can run the flat of his palm up her wrist, forearm pressing against forearm as his hand aligns with hers.

He’s grinning, sudden and full of too much smug satisfaction if Kate’s affectionate eye roll is anything to go by, but Seth doesn’t care, already lacing their fingers together so he can hold her hand proper for once.

A/N: This is part of a tUA inspired AU that has no plot and therefore will never be written. But I know exactly what Kate and Seth’s abilities are, which is part of why this is such a thing for Kate here and why Seth feels her fears are unfounded.

10. UST (Unresolved Sexual Tension)

She doesn’t blink, barely seems to be breathing, holding herself so carefully behind her desk, straight backed and fingers laced together as she stares stubbornly up at him. He smiles, slow and measured and knowing, letting his gaze sweep over the cardigan she’s begun buttoning all the way up since he joined her little class, before leaning close, meeting her gaze and dropping his voice low, like a secret between them.

“And what do I get if I get it right?”

A/N: Seth goes back to school to get his GED, Ms. Fuller is not what he was expecting. I actually had a whole scene playing through my head for this, because I like build up, and it was really hard to pick just a small part to put here.

None of these are edited, despite how long it took to post, meaning I have mixed feelings on them, lol. I think I like more of them than I expected to, so yay!

[journal-for-them]

August 25th, 2021 - 7:24 pm

hey zac.

i am planning on getting off of the antidepressant i started when you first died. it’s been a really rough three months without you. i have been finally starting to reach out to people again and i’ve been making attempts to actually make friendships. i finally emailed the GED lady. i’ve traveled without family. i’ve been taking risks. i’ve been going inside of stores.

yesterday was the first time in a while that felt okay. today i’m doing pretty well. i am starting to accept that you are gone.

i have been having a hard time remembering who i was before you died. the last few days ive gotten the spark of myself back that i thought died with you. i have drive again. i feel like i could achieve all of the goals that you helped me set. i have been so deeply depressed the last three months. the last two weeks i spent laying on an air mattress in my living room because sleeping in air conditioning is essential when you need to curl up in a blanket cocoon.

i got really excited when i saw the ipad my mom got didnt have a lightning cord, but a USB-C. i have never, not once in the 19 years before i met you, EVER gotten excited over a charging port. ever. that was when the part of yourself that you patched onto my soul came out. i will never look at technology the same.

i think i’m going to be ready to open your boxes soon that your dad packed up for me. i have the frozen lou���s pizza still, we just gotta figure out how the four of us are going to celebrate you before eating.

i couldn’t make it to your celebration of life that your family put together. it broke my heart that i couldn’t go. but, in the pictures your dad sent me, i could see that so many people that love you were all smiling and celebrating in your memory. i hope none of your friends are holding it against me that we couldn’t make it to the wedding, we wouldn’t have gone anyways because Mittens was having complications with his health**. i’m sure the bride is really regretting that nasty message she sent you after. /j

anyways, i love you zachary. i think i am finally in a point in my grief where i am okay with referring to you in past tense. a song called “dancing with your ghost” came on in the car and it made me think of you.

when i dance by myself tonight, feel free to join me. i won’t see you, but at least you will know i am dancing with you in my heart.

love you forever

- eyanna

** (for anyone who doesn’t know: Zac had a cat that was 19 years old. i was also 19 years old. Mittens died a month after we visited Zac’s hometown.)

[miscreantsmadness]

Day 1

Main quests day 1

Summary

The player first arrives at Moorland Stables and gets introduced to everyone working there, and of course their very own horse! We also help Thomas sabotage GED so that he gets more time to figure out how to handle the situation. Eventually he gets the title deed back, but a masked rider steals it from him! Luckily, we manage to get it back. 

We help Ydris set up his circus. 

We try to deliver some buns to the castle, but no one answers the door. We eventually meet up with the butler for a delivery of wine samples and he explains that The Baroness has been very busy. He tells us that if we want to explore the the Equestrian Center we should speak to Linda, but quickly corrects himself and instead says that we should speak to some other stable girl. 

Complete quest dialogue below the cut

Justin: Hi! You must be Name. Nice to meet you and welcome to Moorland! My name is Justin and I run this stable with my dad. 

It’s pretty hectic right now... A lot of things are happening here, but forget about that for now! You’re new and I don’t want to bother you with out problems during your stay. 

Over there is your horse who will be your horse for the summer. Take him for a quick ride so that you get to know each other. Ride off and talk to Maya who is in the yard next door. 

Maya: Hi, I’m Maya! Nice to meet you, Name! It’s great that you chose to come to Moorland! Welcome! 

This is the best place ever to spend your summer vacation. I’m doing a bit of work in the stables around here to earn some extra Jorvik Shillings, it’s always good to have pocket money. Come back to the stables later and I’m sure we can find you a job. 

There is so much to show you and talk to you about, but first you should go and speak to Jenna. She can tell you a little more about how things work here in Moorland. 

Jenna: Hi, Name! I’ve been expecting you!

Hi! You’re Name? Welcome to Moorland Stables! 

Normally Thomas Moorland shows new visitors around, but he’s very busy right now. I don’t know if you’ve heard about the horrible company, GED, who want to demolish the stables and build luxury condos? 

But enough about that. Before I let you ride off beyond the stable gates, you have to show me that you can ride. There is a small yard behind me. Show me that you know the basics and ride around the square track. Ride one lap and come back to me! 

Fantastic! Nice work on the square track. You and Your Horse really worked as a team. Keep it up! 

I think you’re ready for some bigger challenges. As promised, you’re now allowed to gallop freely outside the stable walls! 

A while later the same day

Justin: My dad, Thomas, wanted to meet you. Apparently he wants to ask you about something important. I’m scared it might be about our troubles here. 

Mr. Kembell, a nasty boss from the company, GED, is doing everything he can to evict us so that he can demolish the stables and build luxury condos here. We’re still trying to figure out what we can do to stop him, but he’s as slippery as an eel. 

Thomas: Thank you for coming so fast, Name. The situation with Mr. Kembell from GED is getting out of hand and I need your help. 

I just heard that he has almost convinced the Council that GED has the rights to the land and there is hardly any time left to stop him. Right now his creepy surveyors are setting up their equipment so that they can make a detailed map for the planned demolition. 

I’m the true owner of this land but I need time to prove that to the council. 

Can you help me save Moorland stables?

We have to delay Mr. Kembell’s surveyors to buy some time. All you have to do is turn off their GPS equipment. They’re setting them up in the area outside the stable, between here and the hills where their construction site is. 

I’ve marked more or less where the GPS equipment is on your map. Good luck! 

Splendid! Good work! I truly appreciate it. That will delay them for a while. Now I’ve at least got a little time to build my case against Mr. Kembell for the Council. 

What am I going to do, Name? Mr. Kembell is really putting pressure on me with all these legal documents. I’m sure I could stop him if I just had a little more time. Hmm...If he wants to play dirty I’ll show him that he has met his match. 

Let’s see, ride past the blacksmith’s and up towards the hills. Along the road there is a power distribution box, just where the road turns at the construction site. It should be possible to turn off that horrible sign by turning off the power there. Here, I’ll mark it on your map. 

Ha ha! I think I can hear that nasty man shouting all the way over here! Now I have a bit more time - just what I needed. Now we don’t have to see that horrible GED sign anymore! 

All I need to do is prove that I actually own the land. Then I can stop Mr. Kembell. There is a deed to Moorland Stables that my father was given over fifty years ago by The Baroness of Silverglade, who lives in the castle. 

I can’t find the documents here but I think that our old accountant, Mrs. Holdsworth, must know where the title deed is - she knows everything about our business. She retired last year and now spends her days taking care of the flowers outside her little cottage. Go see her, she should be able to tell you where the documents are. 

Mrs. Holdsworth: Why hello, dear. What can I do for you?

Hmm...Let me think. I believe there was a deed of ownership, but it got lost some years ago. When Thomas Moorland’s wife, Catherine, died in childbirth, Thomas lost all interest in papers and documents and just wanted to spend time with his horses. All the paperwork was put in a chest and sent over to Catherine’s father, and there’s a good chance that the title deed was in that chest. Her dad is Jasper Holbrook and the child that was born is, of course, Justin. 

Jasper blames Thomas for Catherine’s death and they haven’t spoken in twenty years. It’s a tragedy that this feud has been going on for so long, but if anyone has the title it would be old man Jasper. It won’t be easy convincing him to part with it, though. Good luck, dear!

Jasper: Well you found me! And now you can leave me alone again!

Bah! What do I care if Moorland Stables is razed to the ground? That place killed my daughter and I have hated the Moorlands for the better part of twenty years. If you think you can change that you’re welcome to try, but I won’t help you. 

Justin: Hi Name! Have you been to see my grandfather, Jasper? That crazy old man hates us and nothing would please him more than to see our stable razed to the ground. 

I don’t know how I could make that old fool of a grandfather change his mind. I know that my mom really loved my dad, Thomas. What happened was a terrible tragedy. 

I have these letters from my mom and dad that they wrote to each other before they got married. They prove it was true love. I’ve been thinking of showing them to my grandfather, Jasper, but never really dared. If he saw them he would realize that Catherine and Thomas really loved each other. Maybe you can show him? 

Take these letters and show them to Jasper, they should make some kind of impression on him!

Jasper: What? Are you here again? What’s with all the papers? 

Let me have a look at that - it looks really old. 

I recognize that handwriting...

Is it true? Were they really written by my daughter? 

When I read these letter from by beloved daughter, my heart weeps! I’ve been such a proud idiot all these years and it’s cost me my grandson...Sob sob! 

I have the title deed and of course I will give it to Thomas Moorland. That slime ball, Mr. Kembell, is a disgrace to this island. Here is the key to my deposit box in Fort Pinta - you’ll find the title deed inside. Collect it and bring the key back to me before you say anything to Thomas Moorland. 

From now on you can ride across my land whenever you want. 

Thanks for getting the title deed! These are the old legal documents that show that Thomas is the rightful owner of Moorland Stables. 

And you brought my key back too. Great, thank you. Thanks once again! 

Well, what do you know? My frosty heart is now warm, after twenty years in the cold. Young lady, I give you this title deed to Moorland Stables, you have certainly earned it. Thomas will definitely be happy now. 

Thomas: Holy horses! You have saved the stables from demolition! 

Finally, I can prove that I’m the rightful owner of Moorland Stables and it’s all thanks to you. I will show this to the council and then Mr. Kembell will have no choice but to stop construction of the new buildings. 

I don’t know how to thank you, I owe you more than I could ever repay you. 

A while later the same day

Maya: I don’t suppose you lost a horse? A big foofy girl with a black coat, a draft horse I think? Sorry, I can’t be more specific but we don’t see a lot of horses like that around here, especially not ones with an attitude like that. She’s so...

Y’know what? You should probably just go check her out for yourself, see if you can find any leads about who she belongs to. I’d rather this get sorted before the boss finds out. We’ve got a lot of new arrivals here at the riding camp who don’t know their way around horses the way you do, so it’s sort of a liability thing. 

She’s over at the dock on the beach just west of here. 

Player: This must be the horse Maya was talking about. 

(There’s a note attached to the bridle). 

“Property of the AMAZING YDRIS! If found, please return to Nilmer’s Highland along with any cargo and you shall be rewarded handsomely” 

“P.S. -- In case of stubbornness, use cookies”

“P.P.S. -- But not too many, no matter how much she begs.” 

Ydris: Stop! Do not tell me who you are. The Amazing Ydris knows all! 

I am Ydris. “Ydris the Amazing!” “The Magnificent!” “The Phenomenal!” Call me anything you wish as long as it’s not “ordinary.” 

And you must be...Xanthippe? Yosephine? Zoriya? ...Name? I must have a little psychic power after all. 

A great fool once said, “the noblest art is that of making others happy.” That is just what I intend to do here, in Jorvik -- make people happy. And, who knows, perhaps someday the joy I bring can spread to the entire world! Wouldn’t that be grand? 

How do I hope to spread my gospel of delight? By following in the footsteps of the aforementioned fool. With a CIRCUS! 

And what a circus it shall be! Magic, miracles, mischief! Your every dream will come true. And of course, this being Jorvik, there will be a special place for horses. 

But I can’t do it alone. That is why I sent dear Zee on a very important mission. Did you find what I asked for, my four-legged friend? 

Zee: *nudge* 

Ydris: Name, if you would be so good as to open the box and place the contents on the pedestal there, I will show you another good trick that I know. 

Voila, a simple wooden mask! Masks are one of the most powerful forms of magic. They allow one to become someone else. They can render the wearer’s true self invisible. So, perhaps this mask is not so “simple” after all?

Xin, what a proper fool you are! It’s no wonder you’re my favorite companion! 

Zee: *snort*

Ydris: Of course, Zee. You are also my favorite. We are all one big happy family of misfits. No need to be jealous! 

Xin, say hello to our new friend Name, brought into our circle as if by destiny. Now now, don’t be shy! 

Xin: .............

Ydris: Merci, my sweet. 

Now that we are all properly introduced, let us det down to brass tacks. 

The four of us are going to build a circus together. Actually, make that five of us. Your Horse is part of our family now too. 

Zee: *glare*

Ydris: First up, the big top! Name, if you wouldn’t mind pulling the tent out of the crate over there -- it’s not there is it? Hold on, I know it’s around here somewhere. Whoops! Well, one of those has to be the right one. Step to it, Name! Find our tent! 

After building the tent

Ydris: Our big top is missing something... Of course! The cherry on top of our sundae of dreams. A luminous sign to welcome my guests to the show. Now where did I put the sign...?

Perfect! Our circus shall light up the night, bringing in guests like moths to a flame! Yes, a conflagration of delights! We will put on such shows here, the likes of which this world has never seen. And I have YOU to thank. 

Let no one tell you that you’re just another silly girl with a head for horses. Stick with me, my dear girl, and we’ll bing down the house! 

A while later the same day

Thomas: What in the world? A masked rider just came by and stole the original deed! Ride after him! He’s over there by the gate! Hurry!! HURRY Name! Catch him! 

Well done. I will try to hide the papers better this time, sorry. There was something strange about the horse? Ghost-like, you say? Um...I really can’t say - it all happened so fast. I’m sure it was just a regular horse with an unusually nasty owner. 

I need you to visit the town hall for me, ok? These copies of the deed should be there if something should happen to the original. There must never again be the slightest doubt that I own this land! 

Here are the documents. Hold on to them tightly! 

Council man: And what have we here, young lady? A deed from Mr. Moorland, I see. I’ll file these away safely. 

A while later the same day

Harold: Once a month we deliver a jar of cookies to the castle. These cardamom cookies are greatly appreciated by The Baroness. Will you take them over there, please? Ride there on thet beautiful horse of yours and you’ll get there in no time. 

Player: Nobody is answering the door. There’s nothing to do but head back to the store. Unless I want to taste one of those cardamom cookies...They smell divine. 

As nobody is answering the door, I guess the best thing to do is head back to the store. 

Harold: The castle was closed? Nobody answered the door? You know, lately there have been some rumors about that place. Someone said they heard what sounded lika a young girl crying. Frankly, I don’t know what to think. Lately, The Baroness has seemed anxious. 

Have I heard the crying? I can’t say I have. Actually, it kind of sounds like a silly ghost story to me. The Baroness’ family, the Silverglades, run way back in history. They have been the most influential family in Jorvik since...I don’t know when, maybe hundreds of years. 

Here are some wine bottle samples that The Baroness has requested. See if you can deliver them to the butler, he should be at the vineyard. Ride carefully! The bottles are fragile. 

Godfrey: Miss? Oh, the bottle samples, great. Thank you. What? Yes, the Winter has been hard indeed, for the manor as well. How is The Baroness? You heard that she was very busy - I see. Well, one could say that she’s had a lot on her mind lately with GED exploiting the land and all. She’s building a new racetrack as well, which of course takes a lot of time and effort. But I’ll see that she gets these. Certainly, miss. Good bye. 

Sorry? A stable? Why of course we have a stable here: the Silverglade Equestrian Center - the noblest stable in Jorvik, miss! You come from Moorland? Well, you should indeed pay a visit to the Equestrian Center: it houses some of the best performing horses on the island. 

Why don’t you speak to Linda...Hold on...What am I saying - not Linda! Ha, ha! Not Linda, miss. There are other stable girls over there, however. I think one of them is called Judy. Judy will be able to help you. 

Judy: Hi, Name! Of course I know who you are, I’m so glad you’re here! I’m Judy by the way. I spoke to Thomas Moorland earlier and he told me that you and Your Horse are really great together, like you’ve truly bonded. That makes me happy since You Horse is the horse I used to ride when I first started out as a stable girl at Moorland. He’s a wonderful horse and deserves a rider that understands him. 

Anyway, we’re short on people here since Linda went away. Thomas said that if you happened to come by, I should ask you if you would be willing to help out a bit here. 

End of day one. 

----------------------------------

Masterpost  - find all the parts of the main quests here

FAQ

[turtle-to-eternity]

Psychiatric Medications Are Good, Actually

You may think getting prescribed medication to regulate your mood, or improve your focus, or manage your anxiety, is weakness.

Maybe you think you should be able to handle it on your own, and that if you can't it's your fault.

Maybe you think the mental healthcare system just isn't worth it.

None of that is true. Let me explain.

Listen, our minds are projected by our brains. The brain is a physical organ like any other. It's not divine, it's not special, it is just as prone to defect and error as any other part of the human body.

Is a man with no legs weak for using a wheelchair? No.

Is a woman with a missing hand weak for using a prosthetic? No.

Is a person with diabetes weak for taking insulin? No.

Then why would anyone be weak for taking psychiatric medication?

A brain is not supposed to leave you frequently feeling anxious, or self-loathing, or depressed. If it does, it's not working right.

Medication fixes that. Just like insulin fixes a diabetic's high blood sugar. You aren't going to leave a broken leg untreated. Don't try to leave a broken brain untreated.

I have experienced first hand how life-changing psychiatric medication is for those with dysfunctional brain chemistry.

But before we get to that, a story about how even seeking help can be a struggle. And how that should never stop you.

I regret no part of my effort to improve my lot in life. Go to the bottom of this post to see the important point, if you feel uncomfortable reading my story.

So after going a general physician about my numerous mental health concerns, and getting put on Zoloft, I was directed towards a psychiatry office about 45 minutes away from me.

I did not have insurance, and even though I had $10,000 at my disposal I suspect that was why they gave me a nurse practitioner. They gave a first time psychiatry patient a provider that was RIDICULOUSLY underqualified compared to the actual psychiatrist.

Oh boy, did it show.

She started reading questions out from her clipboard, half of which I already answered filling out paperwork, and actively stopped me from talking whenever I tried to expand upon anything relevant to my issues. She could not have given less of a damn about my concern.

Of course I gave '9's and '10's to questions relating to mood swings, concentration, and daydreaming, and trouble sleeping. She also especially wanted me to shut up when I started talking about how awful school is/was. She just completely ignored all I said that could be even tangentially related to ADHD.

At the end she said I was depressed and anxious and threw out Zoloft (which I had only been on for a week) and gave me Effexor for depression and anxiety, and Trazodone for sleep and depression.

I had to forcibly bring up ADHD myself. About how hard it was to so much as watch a tv show consistently. About my despair at not progressing in my GED program. She said 'Can't never could.'

'I'd like to try Strattera.' I said.

'Well we could put you on Wellbutrin.' She said after a deep sigh.

'Strattera has a better chance of results, and I don't want to leave without trying something for my problems.' I said, barely civilly.

So she gave me a script for the maximum daily dosage of Strattera. I felt good. I took a stand and even had a shot at progress. However, it was disturbing how stubbornly opposed she was to even the idea of ADHD.

Strattera didn't really work. It leveled out my mood and gave me some motivation, but my mind still pushed itself away from anything that demanded concentration. Be it work or leisure.

However, Effexor greatly dampened my sense of anxiety in everyday life. I started a photography hobby, walked around outside no matter how many people were there, and started 'dating' (for lack of a better term) online. It definitely worked.

So when I came back to that nurse, I told her about how things had improved. How Strattera calmed me down to a moderate degree. She was quick to put the credit entirely on antidepressants, though. Naturally. Strattera wasn't doing its most important job and had terrible side effects for me, so I asked to try another ADHD medication.

'Well maybe you could take the Strattera a little closer to when you want to, like, do stuff. Then it'll work better for you.'

That is not remotely how Strattera works.

Holy god damn, this lady has absolutely no knowledge about ADHD or the medications she is giving me.

'I'd like to try a first line medication.' I said firmly.

'Well there's a lot of medications for ADHD, honey.' She said smugly.

Then she absolutely floored me.

'You haven't really been evaluated for ADHD yet so we can't really give you amphetamines.'

What.

What.

Why did you ask me all those questions before, then? Why did Strattera affect me in a way consistent with an ADHD person? Why are you being so suspiciously stubborn?

'So how can I be evaluated, then?' I asked her.

'You said no insurance, right?' She asked back.

When I confirmed that, she got up and said 'Let me go ask the doctor if you can get some stimulants, sweetie.'

15 minutes later she came back with a script for Wellbutrin.

I was in despair.

My life, on hold for years, now for another month. When help was just in arm's reach.

I started spending tons of money on food. The Wellbutrin replacing Strattera brought back the mood swings within days. The first day they came back, I called that office to cancel my follow up appointment. I was going back to the doctor I originally saw.

But for the month up to that, I ate like crazy. I gained back 20 pounds. I stopped blogging, I stopped Duolingo, I stopped doing anything but watching YouTube videos and sleeping.

I did get a job that I had applied for before my fall off the deep end. My state of mind greatly improved once I had work. But still I did nothing.

Then I went back to the original doctor.

He was patient, understanding, and asked relevant questions. This general practitioner spent more time talking with me in 1 visit than a psychiatric nurse had in 2.

He diagnosed me with ADHD, and gave me 5mg Focalin.

The weight of the world came off my shoulders. The Focalin has had absolutely no effect on me but drowsiness. But that doesn't matter right now. I am being taken seriously, and am being helped.

And this right here is the important part.

The medication helped immensely.

Once I got back to taking the Effexor regularly, my mood drastically improved. I talk to real people of my own volition occasionally. I take pictures of myself without fear. I am making plans and believing in them. I am believing in myself, for the first time in my life.

Yes, 1 nurse treated me like I didn't matter.

But 1 doctor changed everything for me.

He listens to me, works with me, and is invested in helping me. He is going to get my medications right, make sure they stay right.

Then, once I find the right stimulant, I will be unstoppable.

This life is mine, I will never lose hold of it again.

[belladonnaandulriched]

the dead of night | chapter five

Scott's point of view

I watched Kristina return to her seat next to me with her long platinum blonde hair drifting behind her head. Her eyes scanned over me as if she was waiting for me to say something to her. She had a glimmer in her eyes like she had just witnessed something or other.

“What?” I asked her.

“Nothing.”

She shook her head, but I knew there was something on her mind, though. She had seen something back there near the bathrooms. Nancy followed suit into the seat across from her. I glanced over at Geddy, who shrugged his shoulders at me. There was a part of me that wanted to touch and run my hands down the smoothest parts of his hair, right on top of his head.

To think that Frankie and I were alone with him for a little bit. It was just a few minutes but it was enough for the both of us to forget about everything for a little bit.

I turned back to Kristina, who showed me a grin, the first time I had seen her grin in forever and a day.

“You saw something back there, didn't you,” Frankie teased her.

“Maybe.”

Nancy slid back into the seat next to Geddy with a warm blush upon her face. From behind those glasses, I noticed a baffled look in his eye.

“What?” she asked him.

“Is everything alright?” he asked her.

“Yeah.”

“You sure? Your face is flushed and you're breathing hard.”

Joey and Hannah breezed back into the room right then: he had a smirk on his face while she smelled of strawberries and her face was bright pink like a single strawberry.

“What the hell is going here,” I demanded.

“It's not what it looks like,” Hannah assured me.

“I'm pretty sure it is,” I teased her.

“It's not,” Joey joined in, still with a smirk on his face.

“It's NOT, you mean,” I teased him with a wag of my finger, and I couldn't resist the smirk on my face, either.

“Yeah, it's NOT. A big ol' thick NOT.”

“It's a big ol' thick 'not' like your dick,” Hannah murmured as she brought her cup of coffee to her lips.

“Not here!” Joey scoffed in a hushed voice.

I cleared my throat and returned to Geddy.

“So what we were talkin' about earlier?” I asked him in a loud voice.

“Oh, you mean going up to retrace dear Francine's steps?” he asked me back, also in a loud voice.

“Yeah...” I turned my head to Joey and Hannah, both of whom had picked up their cups of coffee for drinks on their parts.

“Which means we'll have to head on up to Rochester,” Frankie followed along; his expression turned solemn right then.

“Rochester and then to 'Swaygo and Syracuse,” Joey filled in right then as he held his coffee cup before his chest.

“Seems like a lot,” Kristina remarked.

“We've been around a lot of places upstate and here in the City,” Hannah pointed out. “I'm sure the cops have the City covered, though.”

“And then?” Nancy asked.

“And then?” Hannah echoed.

“We'll have to go up to Toronto then,” Geddy suggested.

“We'll have to,” Hannah pointed out. “There's no other way otherwise.”

Geddy raised his glass such that the overhead lights hit the dark cola in the glass to make it look bright red.

“To Francine,” he declared.

“To Francine,” the each of us followed suit, and we took a drink in unison. It seemed like a lot but we each had come to this point in time for a reason. For me, it was to reconnect with Kristina in the time she had left. I had to make it right before she tied the noose around her neck in the next decade.

“I caught Joey and Hannah making out in the bathroom,” Nancy blurted out, to which Frankie almost gagged on his drink.

“Nancy!” Geddy scoffed.

“What? I did! Kristina did, too.”

“I was just going to use the ladies' room,” Kristina filled in, “I didn't even see them 'til I was washing my hands and Hannah was making little whimpery noises.”

“Gonna need some water over here!” Joey called out to the waitress.

After our bite to eat, we all filed out into the cold afternoon. I huddled closer to Kristina and that big guitar case on her back. It almost seemed unnecessary to be near her, especially since we were all here to seek out Francine. And yet, Frankie and I came back to reconnect. Reconnect before the sands in the hourglass ran out.

“So where do you hope you'll record at?” I asked her over the rush of the cold winds.

“Electric Lady of course,” she answered: even though it was overcast, the daylight shone over that crown of blonde hair to make it appear as though it was made of silver. Bright head of silver with smokey dark eyes. She adjusted the strap on her shoulder to make the case stay on her back.

“I hope I can find an opening soon,” I told her. “And I hope we can find an opening to listen in, too. I'd love to listen to you record a record.”

I returned to Nancy and Geddy, both of whom were huddled close together against the winds.

“I hope the Mounties don't stop us when we're up there,” she confessed to him.

“They won't, my dear,” he vowed to her. “As long as you have proof and you have a way into there, you can traverse about all over the place.”

“We've got an actual Canadian with us, too,” I joined in.

“You've got a Canadian with you, too!” he said with a tone of glee.

“We'll stop by that li'l upholstery place, too,” Joey pointed out. “Say how ya doin' to Marcia and Sonia and see if they can give us some clothes if we wanna.”

“You just want to see Hannah try on some clothes,” Kristina cracked.

“Well, I won't deny it,” he said with a shrug and a tucking of his hands into his coat pockets. He then peered up to the sky overhead. I followed his gaze to a series of drones, pitch dark against the light gray sky. Even from far down below, I could make out the sight of the green and blue neon on their undersides.

I turned my head to Kristina, as she set her guitar case on the sidewalk. She opened the case and took out her guitar, a bright cherry red acoustic with a narrow black neck and a white star painted on the end of the body.

“Beauty!” Geddy declared.

“I named her Cherise,” Kristina said with a twinkle in her eye. She held her hand over the strings and strummed with her thumb and her index finger. It took me a second to realize what she was playing, to which the memory came flooding back to me.

“'Planet Caravan,'” I said, and I couldn't help but smirk.

“We're just missing some snow,” she replied with a raise of her eyebrow. She never actually broke out into singing but she did play that hypnotic riff that haunted me since I was a kid.

The perfect song to go finding a girl missing in Canada to no less.

I peered up at the drones in the sky again, and then I caught sight of a smooth white humanlike head near the top of the apartment building. I was wondering where all the humans here had disappeared to, because aside from the waitress, the few patrons, and the line cook there in the cafe, the city streets seemed far more deserted than ever before. It almost felt like a dream to be on an otherwise crowded city street, only to find everyone had all but vanished.

As Kristina let the music drift over the street and the sidewalk, I glanced down the street to a few more drones appearing out from behind the apartment complexes.

“Makes me wish we had Lars and his little radar detector again,” Joey muttered under his breath.

“I really hope she's alright,” Frankie whispered to me.

“We'll find her, man,” I promised him, even though I had no idea as to where to look from that point onward. “I have hope that we will.”

All I knew was we had to find our way out of that part of the city and get on upstate. But then there was Kristina, who continued to strum and play to that familiar song. I missed Pearl but there was something about her I had missed. She was the first girl I ever fell in love with and then much like Joey and Hannah, we were separated by circumstance.

It was now or never at that point. Balance out finding Francine with reconnecting with Kristina.

“Where do you live now?” I asked her. She kept strumming but she looked at me with raised eyebrows.

“Boston,” she replied.

“All the way over in beautiful Bahstahn,” Frankie cracked.

“Bahstahn, exactly!” Kristina laughed. “It's a little out of the way, though, if you guys wanna come swing by at some point.”

“Makes me wish we had Lars and that arrowhead of his,” Joey spoke again.

“Wait a minute, don't you have that?” Hannah asked him.

“The arrowhead?” Joey hesitated for a second and then he patted down the front of his coat. He slipped one hand down into his right pocket and took out a stone arrowhead about the size of a silver dollar.

“Don't think there's a wormhole from Syracuse to Boston, but you can make one with this li'l thing here, Scott,” he explained. “Just—be really careful, though, 'cause ghosts and other scary ass things can go through 'em.”

“Ghosts?” Frankie sputtered.

“Ghosts, yeah.”

“How can I forget 'Vera',” Hannah grumbled.

“Forget Vera for a second, what about Mrs. Snow?” Joey recalled. “She tried to whack my dick off after she caught us in bed together.”

“I liked the old man, though,” she continued. “What was his name?”

“Mr. Lang. He gives me apples all the time.”

“There are also mutant banana slugs down in New Orleans and big ass spiders in both Syracuse and Rochester,” Nancy chimed in. “'Syracuse spiders' as Marcia and Sonia call them.”

“And water snakes and scorpions up on the Canadian side of the Great Lakes, too,” Geddy added.

“And all of those and more over in Seattle, too,” Nancy continued, “as poor Dominique will tell you...”

“You sure they're scorpions and not vinegaroons, Ged?” Hannah asked him.

“They're definitely scorpions. Great Lake Emperors, they're called. And yes, they are as every bit of terrifying as you can possibly imagine because unlike actual emperors, they're actually quite aggressive. I think there are vinegaroons up there but I haven't seen any. I don't think Alex and Neil have, either.”

What a world I came into! I turned back to Kristina as Joey dropped the arrowhead into my palm.

“You better not have weird creatures over in Boston,” I told her.

“Giant seabirds, but otherwise, not really.”

“How giant are we talkin'?”

“Giant enough to take a whole loaf of bread from you, but they're not like—giant aggressive scorpions, though. They're quite lovely, actually.” She continued to strum her guitar, to which I took another look up to the drones in the sky. The green and blue neon waxed and waned with the gray clouds overhead, and I wondered if there were any more around there. I didn't want to leave Kristina there in the City by her lonesome, especially since I had no idea where she even parked.

“So, shall we get a move on, eh?” I suggested in a slight fake Canadian accent.

“Get a move on, eh,” Geddy scoffed with a smirk. “Take off, ya hoser.”

[edgarallanhoetry]

Arati watches “Happiest Season” ft. The pod!!

“This is a white people thing” re: climbing onto someone else’s roof to see Christmas stars

“Oh god, she plays the same character as she does in San Junipero - Harp you gotta loosen up a little”

All in agreement that we’re all getting get out vibes from this white lady apartment !!

“He’s gonna lose all the pets! Oh. He’s also the same character”

Were we supposed to be convinced by the weird argument that a marriage proposal is like making someone a rice cooker? Or by the rebuttal that everyone needs to know your person is your person? I’m married and this made me not believe in marriage

All in agreement that Harper is dumb as fuck

“Do we not think that they could have figured out a premise that is like....10% better?”

I knew this movie was really white. But like this is like really really white. This cast is full of the whitest people in America.

Jane.....has a coke habit? “She has Paris Gellar energy...but not written as well” and also is a really similar character she’s played before?

Gasps all around the room when Aubrey Plaza entered the scene!!!! Love this homo. Ideal ending for this movie is K Stew and Aubrey Plaza running away together.

“I don’t trust this man because he played a creep in Legally Blonde” which tracks considering the way the rest of this cast is working????

Moratorium on saying bad things about Kristen Stewart in this movie! Look at what she’s dealing with!!

Okay this man told KStew to use coconut oil to moisturize and the prediction is that this means he’s gay. Stay tuned!!!

Obsessed with Allison Brie playing a repressed bitch !!

This movie took a turn for the better specifically because Allison Brie called Gwyneth Paltrow “Gwynnie”

We’ve just met Harper’s high school friends and I can’t tell if her friend is jealous of her or has a crush on her?? There are too many people in this cast.

This closet line is killing me!! Who wrote this terrible movie lmfao

Okay so these children are the creepiest and do straight up belong in a horror film which is actually only adding to this movie is get out theory

They made an interesting choice in deciding that they were going to write Harper with literally zero redeemable qualities.

I recognize it is simply baiting that they keep bringing Aubrey Plaza into these lil moments with Kristen Stewart but I don’t care - I’m living in a fantasy where they end up together and are happy and go to drag shows and make jokes and have chemistry!

This is like next level queer baiting where it is already a queer movie but I am literally being baited by the better queer couple that will never be. :(((((

This man said “I’m so glad you came out” and it’s like......WE ALL WISH YOU WOULD COME OUT BITCH

This sister tension, insane weirdo twins, and the robbery subplot is all very high tension !! I wasn’t expecting to go on such an emotional journey?

Hmmm this reveal that Sloane’s husband is cheating on her with Carolyn........is less likely than him being gay......

How did Allison Brie out someone and Harper is still the worst character in this movie?

Yes Jane you better step into your power bitch!!

I actually really love this show of sister solidarity! And also Jane saying I am a ally and it being revealed that she was a biter makes so much sense.

Tracking coming back as a major motif must have some thematic relevance!

I almost forgot this was a Christmas movie and then it got unbearably cheesy with all the bad acceptance speeches

Tbh I would read Jane’s book for sure my weirdo sci fi queen

The best part of this movie is this instagram feed during the credits #en-gay-ged #lol #yellowbelt #meandmyguy #selfie

[ecsta-zi]

My experience with white privilege (and how I found out it was real)

I was 20 years old and had been living in the Bronx for 4 years. I had a GED and seasonal/temp experience in both the restaurant and retail industries (3-4 months each.) So i only had about a year of experience working in retail and about 6 months or so working in restaurant. It seemed as though I was only capable of obtaining temporary jobs. It was frustrating because no matter how hard I worked at these jobs I just never seemed to be good enough to be hired permanently. Both times they simply told me that there were no permanent positions to be filled but my insecurities tell me I wasn't good enough.

When it came time to find a new job my boyfriend's mother referred me to Lisa Employment Agency at 247 West 35th Street New York, N.Y 10001. A job agency where you can only get restaurant jobs. She handed me my money and I was there at 8:45 am on 05/17/17.

When I came in, there was an area for people to wait. It was already filled for being nearly 9 :00 am and per usual I am the only caucasian in the room. Most of the people in the room were black and hispanic men. Some were half asleep, some of them were on their phone and some simply looked stressed. I saw an empty seat on the left side middle row at the end. Ahead there were a few desks. A Hispanic woman to the front left whos name is Sue and another Hispanic woman to the front right. In the back with the big desk there was a Hispanic man by the name of Rene Munoz.

Before my body even touched the seat I was called up by the big man himself (Rene.) I handed him the money and the resume I created myself. He looked at it and said "you don't have a lot of experience but that's ok because you're young." He made a phone call and I had a job interview set up for me to go to immediately. My position was "helper" at the juice bar at Pier 59 Studios. My starting wage was $15/Hr. This was BEFORE the minimum wage was set to $15/hr. If you don't know what Pier 59 Studios it is the LARGEST photography studio in the world. Name any fashion magazine! They've done shoots there. Now I am an obese pale white girl who wore their makeup like it was still 2010. Everyone there was GORGEOUS and the place was boujee as fuck. Even the damn secretary at the front desk was super model gorgeous. I felt out of place. Anyway, when Rene Munoz handed me the card he told me "bring more people like you, you know your kind....your friends."

He basically told me to bring more white people.

Prior to arriving my boyfriend's mother who was friends with sue (lady at the desk to the right who got my boyfriend the job at blake and Todd on 47th street) told me that sue told her that they were looking for more white people and that I would not have a problem getting a job because I'm white. My boyfriend's mother is hispanic as well as my boyfriend.

Since I was 14 I've been in and out of homes, cities, and towns where I was the only white girl. I was use to jokes like that. Like "oh don't worry you're white the cops won't pay you no mind" or the one time my friend said to her mom "don't worry mom she's white we won't get into any trouble." as a joke. I simply thought it was another one of those things.

I didn't actually think she was being deadass!!!

At the time I wasn't going to sit there and run my mouth about how racist that shit was. A bitch needed a job I didn't want to lose MY job opportunity by preaching. I shut my mouth and I went. [ Insert White Privilege Here]

At this agency you pay a fee and they give you three shots to try out different jobs. If i didn't like one they'd give me another.

My first day at Pier 59 studios was my training and I couldn't handle the pressure. There was so much perfection expected of you because you're serving drinks to people who worked in the fashion industry. There was talk about the famous people who came in and out of there, and there were perfect gorgeous people around me and i was a potato. Also apparently there was this very important french woman who worked in the industry having some brunch meeting. I wasn't about catering to people and celebrities in the fashion industry. I didn't show up the second day.

When I try to tell people this story, especially people from my race, they get so mad at me because they're the type of people who don't believe in "white privilege." They say the same thing as any other white person who doesn't get it. "I had a hard life, i was poor, i had no privileges, i had to work hard for everything I have. No that wasn't an example of white privilege it was an example of racism" That one was the most idiotic I've ever heard. But they fail to realize that there are employers out there that would literally take one look at you and one look at the black guy next to you and choose you simply because you're white. They don't understand that these men that were waiting in the waiting area were 10+ years older than me and obviously way more experienced! That they are waiting for jobs to accept them for an INTERVIEW because the employers working with the agency told them theyre not hiring black people and that they aren't hiring people who can't speak perfect english. I mean, it was heavily implied given the fact that only poc are sitting there and i walk out with a job interview in less than 20 minutes and was straight up told to my face to bring more people like me . They overlook the part where I tell them that Rene acknowledged the fact that I had little experience and he still gave me this boujee ass job with high expectations!! Completely missed the fact that the man told me to BRING MY KIND. That the color of my skin meant that I had a long list of employment opportunities because that is what they're looking for.

I was like them in a sense. I too grew up shit poor, i have a ged, I'm basically white trash and that I never got anywhere bc of my skin color. That day though, reality slapped me so hard I still can't believe that REALLY happened, that it still happens and that it happened right in front of my face.

I didn't do a thing about it. I felt so guilty for awhile and I still do. This isn't that "white guilt" shit or me "apologizing for being white." I know that pisses off white people.

Black and Hispanic people contributed a lot to who I am and where I am right now in my life even at 23 years old. I was raised and mentored by strong black queens who I would do anything for. If it weren't for them I probably wouldn't be alive. I was educated and influenced by black men. If it weren't for them I would still be struggling with reading comprehension, i would've failed english and history. I would've never got my GED. I wouldn't have gone to college. If it weren't for latinas I wouldn't know shit about cooking or cleaning or how to manage money, i wouldn't have a home, and i wouldn't have done anything decent in my life.

All of these people, people of color, who lifted me up off the ground, picked up every piece of my brokenness, and made me whole are the reason why I felt guilty. Not because I am ashamed to be white. But because I am ashamed of the fact that I wouldn't have even been there at that job agency if it weren't for them and that I failed to be an ally all for some boujee ass job I didn't want anyway.

I had to accept the fact that there wasn't much that I could do.

One day I was fucking around on google maps, writing reviews for places I've been to. I decided to look up Lisa Employment Agency and I wrote a review regarding what happened that day. A warning to those who are poc and desperate for a job to not give them their money. That was the best that I could do.

The purpose of me writing this is because people don't understand how real this shit is and that it still happens. White people don't understand that just because YOU yourself have never been in a position where you used your white privilege doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.

It does. Its real. And it's fucked up.

******Below I have a photo of the card that Rene gave me. I still have it for some reason. A big chuck of it was cut off but you can still see the name of the man at the agency. You can see where it says Pier, the date is there, and my starting salary. (I cut a piece of it off to scoop up my weed sorry) It is the only proof I have that it happened. The name and number written above my name was the name of the owner or manager at pier 59 studios.******

[theyearoftheking]

Book Sixty-Three: 11/22/63

I’m going to pull back the curtain a bit here... I am losing my steam. Not my enthusiasm for Steve, just my steam for cranking out these blog posts and reading nothing but Steve. Not sure if my seasonal depression arrived, if I’m just busy doing all the things... I don’t know. But I’ve had 11/22/63 and all the notes sitting on my desk for 2 weeks now, and haven’t done anything with them. My apologies. 

My reluctance is in no way correlated to my feelings about this book. This is THE book. What do I mean by that? This is THE book you recommend to people who turn their nose up at Steve. This is THE book Constant Readers love because of the entire section dedicated to Derry. This is THE book that has you thinking about it long after it’s done. It’s a great selection for reading groups, because the conversations could be endless. What would the world look like if Kennedy had never been assassinated? What about other world leaders? If you found a wormhole to the past, would you use it for good or evil? Would you use it at all? So. Many. Questions. 

This was my second time reading 11/22/63, and I enjoyed it even more because of the references I missed the first time. There’s a whole section dedicated to Bev and Richie learning a dance for a talent show, which I know I didn’t make that connection the first time I read it... Derry and all it’s characters are still fresh in my old-lady brain. Wonder what Derry was like between It’s killing sprees? “I realized that the canal I’d seen must run directly beneath this peculiar sunken downtown, and I was standing on top of it. I could feel hidden water in my feet, thrumming the sidewalk. It was a vaguely unpleasant feeling, as if this little piece of the world had gone soft.” 

Sounds like a great place to raise a family, right? Here’s a complete list of all the Steve universe references:

Not one, but two chambray work shirt mentions

The Takuro Spirit

Castle Rock

Derry (murders in the Barrens, Georgie being found dead, Richie and Beverly’s dance lessons)

Haven

The Turtle

Juniper Hill

Jake Epping is a high school English teacher in Lisbon Falls, Maine (originally from Milwaukee, thanks Steve!); and he learns about a time-traveling portal in the back of his friend Al’s diner. Al has been using the portal to travel back in time and get deals on the meat he uses for his burgers (come to find out, the prices at the diner are so low because of the cheap meat Al buys... NOT cats, like so many whisper). Al has been using the portal to buy cheap meat, and to spy on Lee Harvey Oswald. Al is convinced the current world would be a different and better place if someone was able to stop Oswald from assassinating JFK. But here’s the rub: due to all the time traveling, Al is sick and dying from cancer, so he convinces Jake to take one for the team. 

Armed with some cash, sports betting books (a man’s got to make cash somehow!), and Al’s notes on Oswald, Jake goes into the past. His first stop is Derry, Maine, where he feels compelled to right a wrong. One of Jake’s GED students, Harry Dunning, the high school janitor, wrote an essay about his father killing his mother, and his siblings on Halloween night. Jake sees the potential in Harry, and wonders how his life could have been different had he not witnessed the brutal murders. So, Jake kills Harry’s dad (twice, actually); and heads to Texas to start tracking Oswald. 

He first moves to Jodie, Texas, where he takes a job teaching English and directing plays for the drama department under the pseudonym George Amberson. He’s introduced to the new school librarian, Sadie Dunhill; and they fall in love. Sadie is tall, clumsy, and dealing with the fall-out from her brief but loveless marriage. All of this is dangerous for a time traveler, and a guy determined to kill Oswald. But, George makes it work. He and Sadie quickly become the darlings of Jodie; and their dancing becomes the stuff of Jodie legend. 

But, Jake/George has secrets. He rents an apartment in Dallas, and starts following Oswald and his Russian wife, Marina. Then, Sadie is brutally attacked by her ex-husband, and her face is left deformed. Jake/George learns it’s really hard to commit yourself to committing a crime, while at the same time being a teacher, boyfriend, friend and citizen of Jodie. He’s got a lot going on. Ultimately, he tells Sadie what’s up, and she agrees to help him stop the assassination. 

Ultimately, Jake/George is successful in stopping Oswald, but Sadie is killed in the process. Jackie Kennedy calls him to thank him for his service, the CIA interrogates him, but ultimately lets him go, and Jake/George returns to modern times. 

Or, Armageddon. 

He returns, and finds the world in a nightmarish state. Come to find out, stopping Kennedy’s assassination wasn’t the best decision. So, Jake goes back in time with the intention of going back to Jodie and living happily ever after with Sadie. He’s stopped by the Yellow Card Man, who is kind of like the keeper of the portal, and he explains to Jake that he needs to go back where he belongs. Jake being in Jodie would forever cause unsettling ripples in the universe. Jake knows he’s right. So, he goes back through the portal for the last time. 

The book ends with Jake going to Jodie to celebrate Sadie being named the Citizen of the Century. And they dance. It’s a charming end to a dense, thought-provoking book. If you’re not interested in reading this chonk of a book, I recommend watching the series on Hulu. It’s an excellent adaptation, and stays pretty true to the book. 

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 42

Total Dark Tower References: 61

Book Grade: A+

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Talisman: A+

Wizard and Glass: A+

11/22/63: A+

Under the Dome: A+

Needful Things: A+

On Writing: A+

The Green Mile: A+

Hearts in Atlantis: A+

Full Dark, No Stars: A+

Rose Madder: A+

Misery: A+

Different Seasons: A+

It: A+

Four Past Midnight: A+

Stephen King Goes to the Movies: A+

The Shining: A-

The Stand: A-

Bag of Bones: A-

Duma Key: A-

Black House: A-

The Wastelands: A-

The Drawing of the Three: A-

The Dark Tower: A-

Dolores Claiborne: A-

Nightmares in the Sky: B+

The Dark Half: B+

Skeleton Crew: B+

The Dead Zone: B+

Nightmares & Dreamscapes: B+

Wolves of the Calla: B+

‘Salem’s Lot: B+

Song of Susannah: B+

Carrie: B+

Creepshow: B+

From a Buick 8: B

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon: B

The Colorado Kid: B-

Storm of the Century: B-

Everything’s Eventual: B-

Cycle of the Werewolf: B-

Danse Macabre: B-

The Running Man: C+

Cell: C+

Thinner: C+

Dark Visions: C+

The Eyes of the Dragon: C+

The Long Walk: C+

The Gunslinger: C+

Pet Sematary: C+

Firestarter: C+

Rage: C

Desperation: C-

Insomnia: C-

Cujo: C-

Nightshift: C-

Faithful: D

Gerald’s Game: D

Roadwork: D

Lisey’s Story: D

Christine: D

Dreamcatcher: D

The Regulators: D

The Tommyknockers: D

Next up is The Wind Through the Keyhole, which is short, but I’m in the front seat of the struggle bus. I gave this book rave reviews when I first read it, and now I’m just bored. I think I was starved for Dark Tower content the first time around, and now I’m just kind of counting down until this project is over. 

Until next time, Long Days and Pleasant Nights,

Rebecca