#Aspec Analysis

[rolaplayor101]

I finally did the proper thing and bought some Aspec books! This is the second of my haul and I just got done reading it! I've seen posts about it here on Tumblr and when I saw my bookstore had it, I had to get it! We gotta support our aspec creators!

So first off, it's great. It's funny, there's lots of chemistry, and it's sweet. The second volume has a theme I really appreciate and it's the fact that THIS is what it's like to have queer friends! The comfort, the lack of worry about crushes, being able to open up about huge important parts about yourself that they would understand or at least feel a bit of relation to, it's just so good.

And showing Gakurouta getting jealous of Momo-kun, not because he's secretly in love with Yuriko, but because he cares about her and wants to keep being close to her and doesn't want their relationship to end because she found a intimacy with someone else, just, chefs kiss! Cause I feel that all the time, and it's also so nice to have it be allo person feeling it instead of a Aspec person-- it feels like a turn of the trope. Also...Gakurouta feels demiromantic to me, he so reads demiro, like, read it yourself guys, the way he describes his attraction to Sousuke??? Anyway

Also, like, Yuriko being happy that her two boys are getting along and becoming individual friends feels so good. The blush on her cheeks when she thinks about it. She's so me. It's a short and beautiful moment. Also the FUCINF CAKE REFERENCE OMG THEY HAD TO PUT A DESERT ANALOGY TO ASEXUALITY HUH

Also like, the brief mentioning of fujoshi culture.. it's good that they brought it up cause I really thought they were gonna skip past it, even if it was just a short bit.

So glad Japan has so many stranger to friends to roommate Aspec stories: Is Love the Answer, Koisenu Futari, Sukiyaki Tonight (which is the newest one), and now I've read this: I Want To Be A Wall. I can't wait for the next volume!

@kyanitedragon shouting you out cause I'm pretty sure I've heard about most of these through you! Thank you for your service 🙏

[raavenb2619]

hi you should definitely post your thoughts on each episode of Koisenu Futari (if you want to). cause there’s some character arcs and seeing how opinions of characters change is really fun!

-Interested aros in your area

You know what, I think I will. I didn't have anything to do for ASAW this year, but all of a sudden I do :)

Koisenu Futari Episode 1 spoilers under the cut

Sakuko eating food so she didn't have to talk about love, and then eating too much is just so so funny to me. Peak character design right there.

I can already tell that "Our castle" is a motif that will make me cry because I've glanced through @arotechno's posts about Koisenu Futari.

Sakuko finding Takahashi's blog is incredibly funny to me personally because I am an aroace blogger. (I mean it's also...I've been running this blog for a long time, huh. I haven't answered advice asks in a while, but like. My blog is a resource that I know has helped people figure out that they're aspec. And that's. Huh. There's something weird or surreal about that to me right now, I guess.)

Sakuko asking to be Takahashi's family when she just met him shows me that like, yeah this show really really does know what it's talking about. Because...yeah. (TV show: *is about being aroace*. Me, an aroace: *is shocked that this is so relatable*)

I also just, can't get over the fact that like. This is a real TV show. This is a real professionally made TV show, with actors and extras and lighting and cameras and soundtrack and mixing and cinematography and blocking and. Like, I've seen Bojack Horseman and stuff but like. This is a TV show about aromanticism and asexuality. And a lot of real actual people, real actual real life adults with jobs and stuff who got paid by working on this, worked on this. And the aspec stuff isn't just an incidental side character whose asexuality overshadows their aromanticism and whose identity is rarely relevant. This is a TV show specifically about being aroace. That's literally what it's about.

Has anyone done motivic analysis of the music? I wonder if there's anything interesting. I notice the piano at the very start of Ep 1 came back later in Ep 1. Obligatory https://raavenb2619.wordpress.com/2021/04/28/how-frozen-and-frozen-iis-music-codes-elsa-as-aroace/

[fluideli123]

Since my dp&w analysis are blowing up I also want to add something else I feel like people haven't spoken about, and it's the fact that I've seen a few fellow a-spec people state they didn't notice how a-spec the Deadpool & Wolverine movie was and I would like to take a moment to make a proper post explaining why it can be interpreted that way.

The singular Honda Odyssey scene was in fact sexually charged and very fucking queer, but usually it's described as gay sex without actual dicks out and about. Or at least that it wasn't on camera when they were out and about.

But I believe the accidental censorship of Dinsey the Deadpool studio had to work around and the relationship and dynamic of Wade and Logan actually created something so a-spec that I literally haven't seen anything more a-spec in my life? (that isn't mentioning one specific fic I hold dear to my heart)

You have an emotionally charged interaction that involves passionate, brutal yet consensual physical actions that reflect as penetration and some kinky ass shit without actually crossing that social sexual/romantic line. Both Wade and Logan give "come here" motions, they're fighting but there were moments they could have stopped if they wanted to but didn't.

They're being intimate with one another in a way that fits them both and the situation. It can be seen as sexual, a fight, and blowing off steam all at once and I think an aspect of being a-spec is being told how your actions with someone else don't make sense within two boxes (sexual and/or romantic) or mean something that only lives within those boxes.

If you're a term person than think of it a specific type of physical and aesthetic intimacy. One involves touch without entering the body and one involves doing something both enjoy and bonding over it, encouraging each others enjoyment.

[chameleonsd1sh]

been pondering luffy's aroaceness.

⚠️ CW: discussions of sex and sexuality ahead ⚠️

he's uninterested in getting married, uninterested in romance, and isn't enamoured with pretty women. he understands the classifications of beautiful and ugly and can identify them — he just doesn't care about them.

in reaction nami’s naked body, luffy's expression was the exact same as usopp's, more shocked than anything, while sanji had the typical heart eyes and dropped jaw. oda stated that luffy reacted to nami's body because usopp was there. he framed it as usopp’s presence influencing luffy to let out his “bad side” (sort of riling him up like a puppy?), implying that this is a part of his nature he just doesn’t express. i could, however, see him just acting that way for shits and giggles, because the others are doing it — maybe understanding the reason behind it, maybe not. regardless, what i found interesting was that he only reacted because his FRIEND reacted that way — taking cues from others for the acceptable behaviour. 

because this does contrast his usual behaviour. notice when he was on his own with boa hancock he was completely unaffected by a spell that should affect ANYONE if they have any sort of wickedness in their heart, including desire, when looking at her. nobody has ever been unaffected, regardless of age or gender. but he was. they chalk it up to his pure heart. in the moment he was scared of the spell, then confused as to why it didn't work. intriguingly, oda said “he’s interested, but not entranced by her.”

in my mind, i take all of this to mean that he isn't repulsed by sex or romance, just generally not focused on it. nudity doesn't bother him because he does not see the body as a sexual object. i think he is somewhere on the aroace spectrum, and he is definitely autistic and i believe that affects how he behaves about stuff like this (e.g. taking cues from usopp).

interested, but not entranced. interested, but not in a “wicked” way. i think luffy would be curious about sex. after all, he’s a very physical person — he loves to eat, he tends to move his body a lot and entertain himself that way. i see no reason he would be opposed to trying sex. additionally, although he is selfless in many ways, he is greedy when it comes to food — he’s quite gluttonous — and people — if he wants someone on his side, they’ll BE on his side. this greediness would likely extend to other aspects of his physical and interpersonal life — he would probably enjoy sex. and if that were true, i see no reason he would not continue doing it. luffy approaches things in the simplest way possible. this would surely apply to sex too — if it feels good, he’ll do it.

so luffy would HAVE sex, sure. but does he experience sexual attraction? there is no real evidence of it. i personally don’t believe he would experience sexual attraction — at least not in a typical way. i think he would have sex simply because he wants to. however, he might feel inspired to want to by being very impressed by someone, or by simply being riled up from some big fight. the former could be sexual attraction — wanting somebody because they did something really cool and you’re into it. like a tugging urge to be all over them — not always in a sexual way, but sometimes it goes there with specific people. so i suppose he experiences a certain degree of sexual attraction, but it’s really more extreme respect and excitement, and definitely more of an instinctive emotional thing than any physical reaction. it’s really a very luffy way of feeling it. he just wants.

luffy has no filter, saying whatever is on his mind at all times, sometimes without realizing it. he is often too honest for his own good. he does not really understand or follow social norms, so i think he wouldn't be awkward or weird about attraction. i think he would just be curious about it, for example asking questions that ppl wouldn't typically ask. and his friends would be like “HOW CAN YOU ASK THAT WITH SUCH CALMNESS?” and he'd be like “eh?”

i think, therefore, that he would also be fairly casual about sex without needing a romantic relationship. he would simply ask directly, or be rather clingy and then ask. it’s not a weird thing to him, and he doesn’t get why people are so strange about it. he’s also quite comfortable with his own body, and doesn’t seem uncomfortable with others seeing it (the "family jewels" scene is a good example). HOWEVER, i don’t believe he would have sex with just anybody. he would need to be close to them and trust them. i believe he would likely have some sort of queerplatonic bond with whatever partner he chooses.

i think that because of his autism luffy would not really differentiate between platonic and romantic love. he simplifies. what he does know is that he has a strong connection to everyone in his crew, and that he would trust them with his life. but would he sleep with just any of them? nah, i don’t think so. i think he would just know who he’d want to have sex with. he’d just know.

[aroaceleovaldez]

Something something Jason feeling like he doesn't quite fit as "Greek" or "Roman" as a metaphor for bisexuality, particularly the semi-canonical bi-coding in his half of experiences during the Cupid scene and how Favonius and Cupid speak to him in parallel to the scenes confirming Nico is gay.

Something something the camps as metaphors for traditionally acceptable forms of relationships and Nico living as a rogue outside of them, rejecting expectation (ergo in himself representing a metaphor of queer identity and living outside of boxes and defined/usually hetero-allonormative/binary ideas of what love/relationships should look like) versus Jason struggling with the expectation to conform to a label and even discussing with Nico both of them remaining at CHB together.

Something something the inverse of Jason shifting away from the camps after he breaks up with Piper, feeling lost and unable to find a place between the camps as he begins to explore his queer identity properly for the first time versus Nico only remaining at CHB because he has entered a relationship. In this essay I will-

[parsley-the-slinking-thing]

Thinking about how when guys in old books describe their friend’s hands in detail, fandom calls it gay, and how I never saw it like that because I do that with my friends and it feels normal.

It’s such a mundane part of you. But it has so much character. It’s so different from mine. There are details about hands in general that I have never thought about before, but that I’m noticing now because it’s different on you than on me. Maybe it’s just that I’m an artist, but I can describe mine and at least one friend of mine’s hands in elaborate detail because it’s a point of interest to me.

But fandom calls it undeniably gay.

[schizosamwincester]

I know it's weird to say, but Supernatural is fundamentally a queer narrative. Not a homosexual narrative. Not a gay narrative. It isn't that outside of fandom. But it is still deeply queer because it flies in the face of amatonormativity.

Amatonormativity is the societal belief that everyone should settle down with a single romantic and sexual partner of the opposite gender and have 2.5 kids. And in Supernatural? Sam and Dean spend 15 years partnered to each other as brothers instead. Their romantic and sexual relationships fall apart whenever they challenge the relationship between the brothers. They're always treated as lesser. Sure, Sam and Dean can have flings, and occasionally even romantic/sexual relationships that last... but they can never last for long. And even when those relationships are ongoing, their brother takes priority. Living with, working with, and generally prioritizing your brother above all is not the societal norm. Ergo, it is queer.

Yes, the show is still very homophobic, but same-sex attraction is not the be-all-and-end-all of queerness. So when people say that Supernatural is in fact both homophobic and queer, they're right—but not for the shipping reasons they're probably talking about.

[leikeliscomet]

Heartstopper's Aspec Representation Isn't For Me - And That's Okay (Mini Essay)

Spoilers for Series 3!

So I just finished series 3 and I feel conflicted. I don't hate Heartstopper at all. I think it's a very cute show. I'm happy queer baby gen z and gen alpha have something to see themselves in, I love how Tara, a darkskin Black lesbian girl is happy in her relationship. I'm happy Isaac makes my fellow aspecs happy. I'm happy Charlie tore Ben's singlet in series 2 and for once the victim/survivor is allowed to not forgive their assaulter. I like Heartstopper's little moments but I've felt like something was missing overall and now we're on the third season, I think I know what it is now. There's comments on BL and yaoi by Alice Oseman I don't fully agree with, some of the acting in the show could be a bit better I guess, most of the characters are comfortably in the British middle class and I am a grown adult now so my interest in school/teen dramas has dipped a little bit (but not you Waterloo Road ily <3). So to an extent, there were always gonna be limits on how much I enjoy this show, but nevertheless, I still think they're worth pointing out, especially if we're claiming Heartstopper for the next gen of queer rep. Because honestly having watched shows like Heartbreak High and Koisenu Futari plus being a massive Selah and the Spades fan, I feel a bit robbed in terms of quality.

Isaac still feels underdeveloped and for a show that's been going on for 3 series now this feels disappointing. Like obviously Nick and Charlie get all the screentime as they're the main characters. Tao and Elle got a lot more juicer storylines from s2, Tara and Darcy got more to work with this series even if it was rushed (oh I miss you long series 2010s shows), but Isaac still feels leaps behind everyone else. He didn't really get anything in series 1. In series 2 we saw him coming to terms with his identity which felt like a good starting point but I was still waiting for the 'big asexual plans' Alice Oseman promised and... nothing. I liked his comment about googling aromanticism to Charlie because the representation by PowerPoint style of aspec writing can get tired. I also liked his moment of feeling left out by his friends plus still wanting to know Nick and Charlie's tea, giving him sexual agency whilst aroace instead of feeding into infantilisation. But apart from that... nothing. I wanted to feel more moved by the aquarium scene, but it felt tacked on because whilst Isaac's upset was justified, Imogen just wanted to chat about gay fish, so Isaac came across as a little passive-aggressive instead of what was supposed to be his moment. Plus it feels a little backhanded how much effort series 1 went to in how big coming to terms with your identity is, plus the gorgeous way Isaac's aroace revelation was filmed in series 2 was filmed just to have him blurt it out in an aquarium and have barely any of his friends actually support him like he supported them. But life imitates art I guess. This whole season we've seen characters talking about university plans, gap years and going through the post-16 struggle. But what about Isaac? We never find out what uni he wants to go to or even if he wants to go. What subjects does he like? What job does he want post-school? What's his relationship like with his family? The people need to know! I always found it weird how Isaac was left out to the point where straight characters, whilst still bearing in mind that Tao x Elle is an interracial pairing between two POC and one of which is a trans girl and this is very rare and deserved representation too, had gotten more screentime than him. Imogen, Sahar, Mr Ajayi and Mr Farouk had all been introduced for bigger storylines but Isaac, despite being in the main group, still had to wait for his share. This series was such a huge moment for everyone but Isaac... again. And whilst I'm happy if everyone else is, I genuinely feel like we all deserve better.

Tori was given bigger moments this series and that was great because I was waiting for my introverted slurping sister to come through. Her concern and care for Charlie and jealousy of Nick were great plus with the introduction of Michael, it was all leading to the big reveal of Tori being ace, right? Right? Wrong, because this scene was cut from the ferris wheel moment and I have no idea why. Oseman confirmed it was because Tori's storyline will continue in s4 and she didn't want to rush it but like, what? Series 3, at least in my eyes, did an alright job at building up her coming out. And again, if Nick could get his bi awakening in a one series arc, why can't this asexual character then too? They also covered Darcy's non-binary transition and coming out in this series too so I don't know why there wasn't room for Tori apparently. There was plenty of room for an 'I'm asexual' within those 5 minutes. Waiting to develop her in series 4, which is yet to be confirmed and likely to be the show's last series so it will already have a lot to do with wrapping up the Nick x Charlie saga seems like a poor decision. This is the second time we've had to wait till next season for the aspec character's arc by the way.

I'd like to see some aroallo POVs on this but this season put a lot of emphasis on linking love and sex together and it felt a bit strange icl. Yes, they're linked socially/societally and it's great to have sex with someone you love and love someone you have sex with etc etc etc but the first 2 series made a point of separating the two by showing love without sex and how it was just as meaningful. Almost every time a character was sexually attracted to another e.g. calling them hot or started making out because they wanted to have sex in that given moment there would be a dialogue from one of them going 'it's okay we're in love 'it's normal you're in love' 'well that's what people in love do!' and these are all correct statements but like... we get it! You don't have to be head over heels in love to find someone sexually attractive or just want to have sex with them. It's okay if you're not in love too y'know? I'm not sure what that constant reassurance was for because depicting sex without love isn't as pearl clutchy as it seems when all parties are safe, consenting and comfortable, or, if you've ever had any knowledge about aro(allo) spaces tbf. Nick and Charlie are not aspec and are very much sexually attracted to each other so the conclusion of them having sex isn't surprising at all, especially when I already knew from tweets back in series 1 that Heartstopper the comic already had a storyline later on of the two having sex for the first time. Plus the other characters aren't aspec either so their sexual debuts are also unsurprising and deserved. Plus, I'm actually glad they included Tara and Darcy having sex because many 'sex positive' shows seem to leave out the lesbians. But for a show with an aroace creator and aspec characters, the depictions of romance and sex don't feel like they were written from an aspec lense or for an aspec audience. It's normal for people to be romantically and sexually attracted to each other and then date and have sex. But if you're aspec, you know this. We all know this. This is the mainstream and default depiction of human (hetero)sexuality. We're watching the queer shows to see something different from that. When romance without sex can only hinge on the characters being below the age of consent plus a supposed 'innocence' due to their young age and sex without love is non existent, plus when you factor in how there are no aroallo or alloace characters in the show with 'groundbreaking' aspec representation, it makes for a bit of a headscratcher. Heartstopper may be made by an aspec, has aspec characters and aspec fans, I don't consider it an aspec show. Bit sad, but it is what it is.

It's honestly strange how despite this fact, asexuality and aromanticism is barely mentioned in the main discourse about this show. Antis claim Oseman is a cishet woman despite being non-binary and aroace. They blame the sexlessness of the show on puritanism despite Oseman being aroace. There's constant arguments about how 'unrealistic' it is for teenagers to not have sex despite Isaac being a whole teenage aroace and how some people just didn't have sex in their teens... like aspecs. People are annoyed the show keeps giving Isaac aromantic and asexual storylines because it's 'not as important' and they 'don't care' as if he's not a main cast member and again, the creator is aroace! If you look at the promo pictures of the show, it has the main three pairings, Nick and Charlie, Tao and Elle and Tara and Darcy and no Isaac. Despite the fact it's supposed to be 'for' us and made by one of us, it's not. And a lot of non aspec queer fans watching the show don't see it for us despite being made by one of us either. And that's a real shame.

I'm fully aware Oseman knows about writing aroace characters from the book Loveless, which has an aroace MC. But I think Netflix choosing to adapt Heartstopper over Loveless was intentional. I think Netflix creating Isaac instead of Aled, a demi gay non-binary character from the og comic, was intentional. I think all the decisions Netlix made with Isaac and Tori are intentional, the same way bringing Yasmin Benoit to the Sex Education writers room to cut half of O's storylines was intentional. Netflix has fumbled the bag with asexual and aromantic representation several times now (Cash Piggot and Todd notwithstanding) so at this point, I'm not surprised anymore. Again, I'm happy for anyone who really likes Heartstopper, but I've finally accepted that it's not for me. And that's okay. When someone makes the predominantly aspec, slightly more grown, queer show with fully fleshed out arcs for its's asexual and/or aromantic characters or hits up Lovie Simone for the scrapped Selah and the Spades TV show, I know where I'll be.

We deserved our moments too. We deserve our Heartstopper.

[cookie-lore-keeper]

what makes you think black sapphire cookie is going to be flirty with pure vanilla cookie? surely there's better options than to... flirt.

-🥛

I mean....Look at this cookie

This is the face of a cookie who flirts with other cookies in order for them to lower their guard. This is the face of a cookie who will flirt and be very charismatic to spread lies and Deceit. This is the face of a cookie who will flirt to confuse their enemies just for their amusement.

Plus, if my theory of him using a microphone to spread lies and Deceit is correct, than he'd probably have the personality of an old radio personality. Those people in of itself don't have to be flirty, but there's a whole trope of those flirty and charming performers, so I would be surprised if he did.

And yes, there are better ways than just flirting. But also, flirting can be a fun way to confuse your enemies

[itgr]

ITGR and the Aromantic and Asexual Spectrum

aka a long, pretentious, non coherent, semi analytical ramble I took a month to make about ITGR and how aspec coded it feels to me. Brought to you by someone who re read the series three times in the last nine months

I was originally going to write about how aspec coded every character feels individually in reference to this post but then I realised, I've always found that ITGR as a general narrative and comic had aspec vibes and I couldn't pin point why until recently. So I wrote this analysis (?) dissecting different patterns I noticed with characters and the general narrative themes and why it just feels aspec to me.

Obligatory disclaimers and preface: I will be using "aspec" as a shorthand term for both the aromantic and asexual spectrums (I will use "acespec" when talking about the asexual spectrum and "arospec" when talking about the aromantic spectrum specifically). I'm not trying to claim any of this was intentional on the part of Grave or trying to speculate that Grave is secretly aspec. I know a lot of the things I view as aspec coding could be explained away by a character's trauma or implied mental illness but I'm going to be largely viewing things through an aspec specific lens for the sake of this specific analysis (also aspec people can have mental illnesses or trauma that can feed into eachother and that doesn't take away from the fact they're aspec or vice versa).

This is all just a very aspec centered interpretation of ITGR and I'm not trying to claim it's the "correct" or "only" way to interpret the comic (also i will be sprinkling in aspec headcanons here and there and you will just have to deal with that, sorry <- some characters dont have specific orientations that come to mind for me. they're just somewhere on the ace/aro spectrums/hj). Some of this is based on 'evidence' in the text or like narrative implications and framing and the other half is based on vibes/hj and, I can not stress this enough, just because I headcanon a character with a specific label doesn't mean I think the character would ever use that label or even know what that label is. It's more about finding a term I think generally describes how I interpret that character as experiencing attraction

Word count: 4869

Part 1 : ITGR and the Performative Nature of Love and Attraction

Idk, there's just something about the way love and attraction are represented in this comic that feels aspec? Unlike a lot of other stories, I've read, ITGR kind of portrays love and attraction in such a detached manner I can't quite describe, especially early on. Love's ironically not romanticised and is either portrayed as something fucked up or as something performative with some exceptions (more on those later). Let's start with the examples in which attraction is portrayed as performative, starting with the most obvious example: Satan.

Satan spends most of his time, taunting and toying with his reapers in a number of ways with various levels of flirtation, with Scarlet being the one he flirts with the most. He makes a lot of passes and allusions to love with her because he likes toying with her and is really possessive over her. In some scenes, especially early on, he comes across more like a jealous ex-boyfriend than he does a boss. The way Satan acts around Scarlet and Brook is so interesting because I honestly dont believe Satan actually wants to be worshipped or that he has any attraction to Scarlet. He's just a bored million year old being who's trying to have fun, and he's doing whatever he thinks will make them uncomfortable because that's fun to him. This becomes more apparent with the fact that the only time we ever see him be uncomfortable is in Episode 94 when he's meeting with Ashe. Ashe (at this point) is someone who practically worships him and treats Satan how he implies he wants Scarlet or Brook to treat him. And he hates it.

Its so interesting that when Satan's given something he has been implied to "want" this whole time, he absolutely hates it and is uncomfortable. Which signals to me that he doesn’t flirt with Scarlet or mess around with Brook because he genuinely wants them to submit or because he actually wants Scarlet to fall for him. He does it because he enjoys the fun of getting reactions out of people and he likes being entertained. He likes the chase but I don't think he'd be happy long term if they ever actually completely submitted and did everything he claims he wanted. Something about the way Satan does sexual and romantic coded things in a performative way without actually wanting anything feels so aspec coded to me (diversity loses! the worst person you know is acespec and aromantic coded!).

The other most obvious example to me is Azrael (I have a separate already semi written ramble about the general queer coding in Azrael's character, but that's for another day). He's probably the other only character in ITGR that is as openly flirty as Satan and despite that, all of his scenes flirting with people just convinces me he's not interested in the people he flirts with😭. All his scenes flirting with Celeste and Bernadette feel performative and hollow because of the fact that he doesn't seem to be genuinely interested in them romantically or sexually. He knows how and when Celeste and Bernadette are going to die and I think flirting with them is either a way for him to either please them and make them happy before they die or a way for him to entertain himself or both. Like his interactions don't read to me as "Oh guy flirting with women because he wants to date them/have sex with them because he thinks they're hot." They read to me as "guy who wants to have such much fun as he can and explore as many possibilities as he can with people he knows are going to die." His entire date with Celeste was essentially a way for him to learn more about her and almost 'test' the extent of her loyalty to God because he was curious. When Bernadette dies, there's no romantic element to him comforting her at all, despite the fact he spent so much of their interactions flirting with her.

The only other person we ever see him 'flirt' with is the princess from his time being alive and even there, at no point do we get any narration of how he feels about her or any comments about having feelings for her. It's heavily implied he was only being romantic with her by agreeing to marry her because he wanted her to have one good thing before she died so her death wouldn't be as painful. I have a theory/interpretation that to Azrael, there's an inherent relation between flirting and death and that he only flirts with people if he knows when they'll die (even if the flirting isn't genuine on his part). This idea is supported by the fact that post season 4 and Nyra destroying his ability to see the future and how she'll die, he doesn't flirt with her at all (which also more evidence that his interest in her was never genuine). Anyways, because of the performative nature of his flirtation with different characters, he's aspec coded to me (and he likes men but that's for another ramble).

I think the other example of a character expressing attraction only to reveal romance/sex isn't what they're after is surprisingly Wrynn? I have less compelling case for her compared to the others but I find it interesting that it would have been very easy to just make her in love with Ashe in a conventional romantic and sexual way but no. She doesn't want to date him. She wants to go back to being one with him (something something love as consumption but we don't have time for that). Episode 182 sets them in such a specific way (by giving them a lot of romantic and sexual tension and also an almost kiss) but even then, the reason she's doing all of that is so he can eat her and they go back to sharing a body because that's probably what an ideal relationship is like to her. I guess to me, having a character have so many signifiers of conventional allo (aka not aspec) attraction only to reveal they're actually not after sex or conventional romance and more into their own unconventional form of romance (if you can call it that) feels very aspec to me.

I've just noticed this consistent pattern with characters performing acts to signify attraction only to subvert that but either implicitly or explicitly showing that sex or romance isn't what they're after and it'd be one thing if it was one character (i'd still argue that this hypothetically character would be aspec but it'd be an isolated case) but the consistent pattern is borderline fascinating to me? It just creates such an interesting narrative and almost world? In a lot of media, romance and sex are just considered normal or expected but here, in ITGR, they're really not. Characters can perform attraction but that doesn't take away from the fact that more often than not, they're usually interested in something else and I dont know, I've always found it interesting.

Part 2: ITGR and the Horror of Attraction

I feel like a lot of media treats romantic relationships and attraction as generally good things that can be fucked up but usually when it is, it's framed an isolated event and I find it interesting how ITGR highlights a lot of the more fucked up aspects in romance and relationships. ITGR doesn't frame love as something inherently good or benevolent and I think there's something about that just feels aspec to me. I'm not trying to say romance or sex are inherently bad or fucked up. I just think that, like with anything, there is a certain amount of horror that can be drawn from and created from the concepts of attraction and I feel like the potential horror of romantic relationships (not necessarily even abusive relationships. Just the horror that can be drawn from the concept of being in a romantic/sexual relationship or being in love), or the ways love can be warped and turned into something terrifying is something that stands out more to aspec people than allo people if that makes sense.

I feel like ITGR frames love and attraction as something capable of being bad and hurting people as much as anything else. Jordan, the first sinner Scarlet ever kills, uses romantic flirtation as a weapon to lure women and kill them. It highlights the darker flipside of flirting and how flirting, something very common in romantic and sexual situations which is usually seen as positive or alluring, can be used to lower someone's guard and commit harm and violence. The reversal of using something romantic/sexual that is usually used to make characters look cool or charismatic only to use it highlights how dangerous it can be in a specific context has aspec undertones to me.

Another example is how ITGR deconstructs parts of the tsundere trope in Chase's past in Episode 15 and showcases the darker aspects of being in love. Here, love isn't framed as a good and positive emotion, it's framed as something fucked up that can leave you vulnerable to abusive and harmful situations because of the ways it can make you idealise someone which can make you blind to their abusive behaviour. I find it interesting how ITGR deconstructs some parts of the tsundere trope (aka a trope where a character acts cold and hostile to their love interest but gradually opens up) by showing how someone who is constantly mean and demeaning and physically abusive to you can be harmful. I find it interesting specifically because I feel like tsundere characters' hostile actions are sometimes justified by people using the fact they're in love, which implies that just because they're in love, it justifies them hurting someone, therefore framing love as a benevolent force that can excuse certain bad actions as long as they're for the sake of love. (BTW I feel like saying: I don't think the tsundere trope is a bad character trope. I think it depends on the execution and just find the way ITGR handles it to be interesting T-T). In this episode, ITGR instead implicitly claims that love can't justify bad actions, which further its grander treatment of viewing love as an emotion as any other, instead of putting it on a pedestal or treating it with extra importance like a lot of other media.

I think the other main example of ITGR highlighting a fucked up side to the concept of love is Liam's entire character. Liam's spiral after he realises Ana is dead is both terrifying and tragic. Liam killing an innocent man so he can be with her takes something that in some contexts would be seen as romantic (the fact that someone would be willing to go to such great lengths for someone they love) and twists it to an extreme to highlight how terrifying it is that love can be so all consuming that it warps someone's values and makes them do terrible things in the name of love. I feel less strongly about this but I also feel like there's something mildly horrifying about the fact that he's willing to do this for someone might not returns his feelings. Something about him assuming they were meant to be, despite never asking her, kinda also hits that "love as something horrific" horror spot but I feel like that's a weaker point.

ITGR just consistently frames love like another other emotion that has the capacity to do harm and in contrast to the way most media places extra importance or goodness on love and relationships, ITGR views it in a very detached perspective that feels very aspec to me and I hoped I managed to express that idea with these examples.

Part 3: ITGR and OOPS! THE MAIN COUPLE'S REALLY QUEERPLATONIC AND ASPEC (coded)!

Okay so up to this point, you might be thinking "Wait, what about Scarlet and Chase? They're the main characters and they're in love and are explicitly sexually attracted to each other" and to that, I say "Well yes, but no, but yes"/lh. I'm going to preface this by saying that this is probably going to be the most incomprehensible and hard to explain part of this analysis (?). When I said there's a few exceptions to ITGR framing love as something performative or fucked up, they're one of the main examples (I WROTE THIS BEFORE VER AND EVERETTE OOPS). Chase and Scarlet's romantic and sexual feelings for eachother are framed positively and tragically, you're supposed to be rooting for these two little doomed by the narrative dorks. That being said, they're both aspec as fuck 😭 sorry, not sorry, the aspec agenda doesn't end I'm afraid. I'll start with Scarlet because my interpretation of her is a lot more based on tangible evidence (while Chase is half based on vibes tbh/hj). She reads to me as demisexual and some flavour of arospec (greyromantic or even demiromantic). I think it's largely the fact she doesnt really seem to experience sexual attraction towards anyone, including Chase, until way later on. You could argue it didn't even start appearing until after she left the 9th layer (so it took her 25+ years to start experiencing sexual attraction towards someone she has romantic (?) feelings for). I know that you could probably argue that it's a trauma thing but that doesn't take away from the interpretation (demisexual people can have trauma and still be demisexual).

I feel less strongly about her being greyromantic but I still feel like that's another possible interpretation. It's mostly because I can't really see her being attracted to anyone? I think I know why scarlets orientation is hard for me to pin down. I think it's because I can't really imagine her being interested in men or women?? Like, I'd make sapphic jokes about her but I honestly just don't think she'd be interested in women. Or men. Honestly I feel like she's not attracted to any gender. If she ever is "attracted" to someone it's because they're someone who gets close to her and she's grown an attachment to them. Like she'd still be in love with chase if he was a girl. But also, I don't think she's attracted to any specific gender or any gender in general but also has the capacity to like any gender and I feel like calling her pan just doesn't fit so. Um. Yeah, I hope you enjoyed my unlabelled Scarlet side tangent. All of that being said, her not really feeling attraction for anyone except one person and it has to be someone she's formed a pre existing strong bond with…. Yeah. Need I say more/hj. (The unlabelled demisexual arospec Scarlet agenda is real)

Now onto Chase, also known as the vibe check. I'm going to be honest, something about him screams aromantic allosexual to me in a way I can barely convey. I think it's maybe the way when he talks about his ex, he talks about how hot she is, instead of talking about what parts of her personality attracted him to her. Also, I might be projecting but something about him canonically having a lot of failed relationships also just kind of contributes to the aroallo vibes I get (I'm not saying every aroallo person is going to inherently have dysfunctional relationships but I am saying it's not an uncommon experience for aromantic people to have a lot of past relationships that didn't work out due to "something" feeling off. Gestures). There's also the fact that while Scarlet takes a while to show any overt signs of physical or sexual attraction towards him (I was gonna say, this is except for her blushing when she sees him shirtless in Episode 13 but I went back and no she doesn't so demi Scarlet is so real), he does it a lot sooner than her and I don't know, there's something about how his feelings for her derive more from the fact he sees her as his equal or even above him while he struggles with human connection and attachment with most people and how his expression of romantic love isn't really conventional which feels very aromantic and queerplatonic to me. I guess I've always interpreted Chase having queerplatonic feelings for Scarlet that are romantic adjacent (Not saying all queerplatonic relationships are the same as romantic relationships, it heavily depends on the people in the relationship and how they feel and I just think Chase seems like a romance favourable aromantic person who'd label their queerplatonic feelings as romantic <- I don't think any of these characters know what the aromantic spectrum is, much less what queerplatonic relationships are. I just feel like, if we wanted to be technically, Chase's feelings for Scarlet, to me, aren't really romantic but I think he'd feel comfortable labelling them as such. I hope that made sense). To be fair, in a comic where like, over the half the main cast is heavily coded with at least one cluster b personality disorder/hj (I might make a post of how many characters in this comic have cluster b coded traits or symptoms as someone with two cluster b disorder but that's for another day), it makes sense that a lot of the connections and attachments characters make feel unconventional because a lot of these characters have issues related to attachment but even that, I'd argue that doesn't take away from the aspec reading.

Ever since I started reading ITGR back when season one and two were coming out, I'll never forget just. Not seeing the romance between Scarlet and Chase at all and being jumpscared when it became overtly canon because there was always something about their romance that felt, for lack of a better word, empty (NOT IN A BAD WAY) to me? And I just couldn't articulate what it was about their interactions and romance that felt so off and unconventional to me until now. I think it's partially also because of the way all their romantic scenes pre the season three finale focus more on affirming how much they care about and are attached to eachother as people, rather than how "in love" they are? And also the way their main forms of affection is hugs or physical touch and there's not really any "OMG O////O ARE WE ABOUT TO KISS???/!??@?@?" moment. Even in Episode 42, when we get a bit of a kiss tease, there's not blushing on either of their ends and Chase is talking more about how much he cares about her as a person and how much he's come to respect her and how even he, someone who in a way views himself as superior to most people and tries to position himself as someone worthy of deciding what's just and what isn't, has come to view her the ultimate judgement and he respects that (THAT WAS MORE INTIMATE THAN ANY LOVE CONFESSION BUT WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT). And even when he says he wants to see her in the eyes when she kills him, it's more about wanting to see her as a person before she dies. There's love there but it feels different than romantic love to me. Like, it's so intimate and unconventional and something about how we're four seasons in and they haven't kissed yet and the way their entire relationship is written and the way they express love and attachment to eachother has major queerplatonic undertones to me.

There's just something about how the main romance in this comic has a surprising lack of emphasis on romance. Anyways, I love my little murderous aspec people in a romantic QPR/lh.

Part 4: ITGR and The Aromantic One and the One That Wasn't (aka ITGR and the Devastation of Amatanormativity)

Amatanormativity is the common belief and societal assumption that everyone desires to be in a monogamous romantic and sexual relationship and marriage and it has caused a lot of pain to a lot of people but aspec people specifically (it's similar to heteronormativity and gay people). There are two examples of ITGR critiquing amatanormativity and highlighting how much pain it can cause, one indirect and one direct. Critiques and depictions of the harm amatanormativity causes are generally hard to find in most media and are mostly confined to media explicitly centered around aspec people and that's why it's actually surprising to me that (while I don't think it was intentional at all), on top of all the aspec undertones ITGR has, it also directly and indirectly critiques a societal expectation that inherently hurts and deeply affects aspec people.

I'm actually surprised I made it this long without talking about Brook at all. That being said, there's actually one character I need to talk about before I talk about him: Ana. Despite Brook being the explicit and more blatantly canon example of an aromantic character, Ana's backstory indirectly represents a common issue aspec people face. I know it's later revealed by Liam in Episode 48 that the man Ana married was a man she hadn't met prior but I still think there's a way to interpret her backstory through an aspec lense (Misogyny definitely has a part to play in Ana's backstory but I don't think misogyny being a factor takes away from an aspec interpretation of it and vice versa). There's just something quintessentially aspec to me about Ana's horrified face in episode 11 when we see her and her fiance as she remarks that she "didn't feel anything".

Her entire life fell apart because her abusive parents pushed amatanormativity onto her. It's the way she literally tries to tell them she doesn't want to get married or have children (implying she was happy being single and pursing her writing career) and they dismiss her and call her stupid and tell her that every woman wants to get married. They dismiss the notation anyone (any woman specifically) could be happy without marriage, or a relationship. Ana decides to do what they say and I know it's never explicitly shown but I think she wanted to believe they were right and that she'd develop feelings for her husband and be happy eventually if she just conformed and did what they said. It's possible she could have felt like she was wrong (or. broken/hj) and that she wanted to believe that marriage would "fix" her and make her happy (because society and amatanormativity consistently pushes the idea that marriage = happiness) and that would explain the horror in her face when she realised she didn't feel anything. It's also further supported by her line "Where was that happiness I was promised?". Her parents, society and amatanormativity literally kept telling her that she couldn't be happy if she stayed single and childless and sold her the idea that getting married would fix her and make her happy and that destroyed her life and, regardless of if Ana was supposed to represent an aspec struggle, it still stands as indirect commentary on how amatanormativity can hurt people who don't want to be married (or in relationships) (semi related but I personally headcanon Ana as aroace or arospec asexual ^^).

And with that said, let's move onto the only actually canonically aspec character in this comic: Brook, who's canonically aromantic. Also Brook being aromantic is canon regardless of it's explicitly said or not. I could go on a whole tangent about queer representation and the double standards between other queer rep and aspec rep when it comes to needing authorial intent to be seen as "real" rep but the short of it is that Brook's aromantic, not only because he said he's not interested in romantic relationships but because, on a fundamental level, he doesn't understand what romantic feelings are like and how they work. He's confused by the concept of romantic feelings, because he doesn't feel them. I don't think there's another way to interpret that. He's literally textbook aromantic. I'm not saying that trauma hasn't maybe influenced that and vice versa but you can be aromantic and have cptsd. I also feel the need to debunk the idea that Brook's time as reaper "made him detached from romantic love so he's not really aromantic" because that doesn't make sense. Yes, Brook's time as a reaper probably made him even more detached from human connections than he already was but there is no indication that he felt romantic feelings before being a reaper. He quite literally shows no interest in romance at any point in the comic, even before he died (also, again, while his lack of general ambition in anything could be interpreted as the product of some kind of neurodivergency or mental disorder, but that doesn't mean he can't also be aromantic). The fact he doesn't understand romance to begin with heavily implies he's never experienced it and doesn't experience romantic feelings in general, hence that he's aromantic.

Now that that's established, I want to talk about how ITGR depicts the feeling of isolation that can sometimes come with being aromantic, which in itself is kind of caused by amatanormativity. There's several scenes in the comic (Episode 176 being the most obvious example) where Brook laments getting attached to Chase and Scarlet because they're in love (well. Wellllllll, adajcent anyway/hj) and he feels like he'll never mean as much to them as they mean to eachother. He feels like because he's not romantically with either of them, he'll never the first priority to them (I personally headcanon as Brook having mild queerplatonic feelings for Scarlet but its not relevant right now and we don't have time for that). I feel like it's very common for aromantic people to feel isolated as a lot of their friends gets into relationships and because of how romantic relationships are seen as "superior" and it's nice of ITGR to represent that in a way. I feel like we do sometimes get canonically aspec characters in media but usually, if they're not the main main character, we don't really get much about how being aspec affects their lives and relationships? Or what their specific relationship to being aspec is? I feel like a lot of media ignores the complexities of being aspec which is why I really love Brook as a canonically aromantic character. While in most media, the aspecness of a character is more of a footnote and is usually treated as a label that's simply slapped onto a character, Brook's aromanticism doesn't exist in isolation and it directly ties back to several parts of his characters. It informs some of his feelings and thoughts. It feels like something tangible. I think it says a lot about how the writing that Brook is written so much like an aromantic character and his struggles with not feeling romantic attraction are treated with complexity that I genuinely forgot it's not explicitly ever said he is aromantic. I don't know, I really like him as aromantic rep.

Part 5: Bonus Headcanons + Conclusion

I didn't have any specific sections to put these headcanons in so I'm just going to through a bunch out there. Ashe is so greyromantic and greysexual to me. Like he definitely had feelings for the wife he's implied to have had when he was alive but I like to think he doesn't really feel attraction outside of that one specific person. Nyra screams arospec asexual lesbian to me. That's it. Send post. Need I say more? (I'm never getting over how her date with Azrael just convinced me that neither of them are attracted to the other's gender/lh). Oddly enough, I don't have that many headcanons about Bernadette. I'd say she could be ace? Vibes anyway. Scarlet's unnamed childhood best friend is so aroallo to me (vibe checked). I wrote a lot of this before Ver and Everette's interactions were revealed so you can either interpret them as the token allos or they can be acespec as a treat/hj.

With all of that done, thank you to anyone who actually read this whole thing. I am so sorry I'm insane/lh. I hope you enjoyed hearing out this interpretation. I feel like this analysis (?) has finally allowed me to be able to articulate why ITGR has always read to me as an aspec heavy piece of media despite only one character being canonically aspec, it's a combination of several things but mostly just the way the comic views love in such a detached and unglamourised way compared to a lot of other media. Love and attraction are still in the comic but the forms of love we see are unconventional. It kind of creates a world where genuine love and attraction aren't really the default, like out of the most openly flirty characters in the comic, most of them have ulterior motive and their flirty is performative and I find that so interesting. I don't think this is necessarily the only way to interpret a lot of the characters and themes but I hope I've opened your eyes to the aspec ITGR reading ^^

[vampirepuppyboyfag]

relationship anarchy can be so difficult in regards to understanding others because i just don't understand their need to create a hierarchy of relationships solely dependent on the type of relationship (i.e. romantic, platonic, hookups, partners, friends, ect.)

being on the aroace spectrum also factors into this as well, because everyone seems to tell me that the reason i don't understand relationship hierarchies is because i don't feel sexual attraction so haven't experienced that form of connection (which feels vaguely aphobic tbh)

i love everyone i care about equally, just because its different types of love doesn't make it any less important

[rolaplayor101]

So I've just read your post "A Silent Voice Aspec Analysis" and I am so happy but I wanted to ask is...how exactly is Shoya from OAA rep? Could you direct me to all instances which made you think that he is? Thank you in advance!

9/13/22

So it’s been a year and a half since I got this ask and I’m only now answering it— I think about this ask a lot, and it’s not that I don’t want to answer it, it’s that I was waiting for the right time. I wanted to answer it during either asexual awareness week or Arospec awareness week last year or even the year before, but either because I forgot or because I procrastinated it, I never got to it. Now it's ASAW 2024, and I have finally decided to lay down and write this essay, so here we go:

There’s a few points I want to discuss, but in respect for the reader’s time, I will lay them all out right here as a tl;dr before I write them all out thoroughly.

Shoya shows himself to be both repulsed by romance and sexuality as soon as it is pointed towards him. This presents itself in his dialogue, his facial expressions, and his thoughts throughout A Silent Voice.

Shoya often is seen blushing in most instances, whether he’s with Shoko or not, of if he’s embarrassed or upset or  neutral. With this point, I think it’s poignant to say he has rosacea. 

Shoya himself says multiple times that he is not interested in Shoko, who is his main concern for all of the manga. 

The way other characters in A Silent Voice show attraction is completely different from anything Shoya ever does. 

The movie changes certain aspects of the manga to get the overall point across and stick to the most important plot lines. One of the things that it changes is literally all the scenes where the other characters assume Shoya likes Shoko romantically, unless it specifically pertains to Shoko’s side of the story, the character who DOES have romantic feelings in this pair for the other. 

Shoya shows his immense dislike for romance and sex a variety of times, as aforementioned, but does seem to enjoy physical, sensual touch, including holding hands, and, secondly, the only time he feels jealousy in reference to other people's relationships is not when he thinks Shoko is dating someone, but when he sees her getting closer platonically with other people(Sahara).

The entire story is about Shoya trying to redeem himself for past deeds, and learning what friendship is. Romance only ever ties in when it’s related to other people that aren’t him. 

This might have to be split into multiple posts because I have a lot of manga panels to use as reference. First, let’s start at the beginning. On the very first page of chapter one, we are immediately met by Shoya experiencing allonormativity and looking extremely annoyed. As soon as he hears the word “boyfriend” he is amiss, as is implied by the boldness of the word boyfriend. He immediately informs them that he’s not her boyfriend, with a sweating face, and balling in on himself, a thing he does multiple times to show he’s uncomfortable and anxious, while also always having the four little blush marks under his eyes as a character design choice, not a proof of attraction.

In fact, one of the first things we learn about Shoya is that he doesn’t like girls, next to the fact that he’s not supposed to jump into the River, he doesn’t like his mom’s nickname for him, and that he has a sister whose boyfriend sucks, because he can’t “play with them”. Crushing on one doesn’t even cross his mind, but it does for everyone else he interacts with in his class:  

“isn’t that great, Ishida?” Naoka asks in response to learning that the new transfer student is a girl.

“Huh? I don’t give a crap!!” He replies, his expression one of genuine confusion and annoyance, with his eyebrows furrowed downwards and his pupils small, mouth low on his face without a hint of a smile or blush.

Shortly after we have a montage of him bullying Shoko along with his friends, we are met with his first instance of romance repulsion at a young age:

Amongst being touched— holding hands with a girl— he does not blush or smile, neither does flowers appear around him in thematic fashion of romantic attraction; instead, he looks angry, his brows furrowing, even the lines of rosacea on his face  disappearing to show him paling in disgust. The next panel with his face shows him grimacing, a shadow falling over his eyes and bags appearing under his eyes with sweat pouring down his face. He is not enjoying the physical touch from her. Finally, as he whips his arm away, a blush appears on his face, but only as he hears his friends behind him laughing at him. He’s embarrassed and angry. We get the second bout of amatonormativity from his friends:

He’s blushing, but not from attraction, like his friends joke, but in embarrassment. The next scene shows Ishida saying a word that appears over and over from here on, and the dialogue is, “she’s creepin’ me out” as he walks away with Kazu and Hirose. We will get back to that. 

This is only the beginning of Shoya’s journey through navigating allonormativity and deconstructing what friendship means to him. His “friends” aren’t good ones, for sure, and this comes up as a theme throughout. In fact, the allonormativity keeps on even til the end, but I’ll expand on that later, as well. Skip only a 20 pages later, and you’ll see this little scene:

Here, Shoya actively reveals his repulsion towards romance once again by even just being around a place where people go on dates often, and gets angry and upset. Now, it is a common trope for children in tv to hate romance and be seen to grow out of it, as if it’s childish to see it as disgusting and unlikeable, but, in Shoya’s case, even as time passes, he continues to share these feelings, although more quietly, with his elementary school self. Even here, when he’s all scratched up, you can see the blush on his face when he notices Shoko seeing him, but again, this blush, in context, doesn’t seem to be one of attraction, but of embarrassment. In context, he’d just been pushed around by his ex-friends, and chastised by his mom, and has now been seen kicking a wall. There’s no romantic tension or reasoning to this scene for it to be a blush of romantic attraction on his face. 

Time skip to him in his teen years, senior year, in chapter 5:

He’s being a bit dramatic by the end, but even so, in the beginning, it’s obvious that his thoughts are his own. In the ten year anniversary edition, his dialogue is, “And you butt-ugly bastards, stop talking about dating. It makes me sick.” This change in dialogue leaves out the “it doesn’t suit you” which can change the connotation a little bit. It changes the meaning from, “You acting like you can date the way you are is creepy” to “just talking about romance at all is gross to me”. And then, sexually, it’s also the same. It’s not only romance, but sex that also creeps him out. “That goes for you too.” (These are also taken out of the movie, because it’s once again not relevant, and also makes Shoya more palpable as a character you can be sorry for. His comments here do sound a lot like endorsing rape culture in a victim blaming kind of way). Then there’s this little nugget a few pages after:

“Apparently, there are some things in this world you just can’t attain. The moment I realized that, my future became clear.” 

One of the noticeable things he “can’t attain” is a girl or boy to be in a relationship with in high school. That, or if you look at it in things he can’t be a part of, like, say, being in the class photo, or getting into college, or being In a group of friends, or having a full head of hair, etc., it’s also possible to view the scene of him walking past the couple as him not being able to  avoid seeing couples, as all the other things he is actively working towards or interacting with/looking at. As in, “I won’t be able to be in the class photo, I won’t be able to avoid couples, I won’t be able to go to college, I won’t be able to make friends”, or, “I won’t be able to be in a relationship” whether that being because no one wants him or because he himself doesn’t want to be in one despite everyone else in school wanting it so badly, due to the allonormativity he’s experienced convincing him that’s the case. 

After this scene, we are back in media rez, where he just denied being her boyfriend. In that context, he just the other day thought about romance being something he either can’t attain because he doesn’t want it, or can’t get it, and when these aunties call him Shoko’s boyfriend, he shows a rather plain disgust and discomfort with it, implying that it’s something he doesn’t want, instead of can’t get. 

Then we get this legendary scene: ”Nishimiya…could you…and me..be friends?”

He has a blush here that is unlike the usual four lines we see on his cheeks under his eyes; this one is further into his cheekbones, and it's not from anger or embarrassment, but rather from a shyness. And this shyness doesn’t come from romantic feelings, but for platonic feelings. His words inform the expression, that he wants a friendship with her. And then this happens:

His expression changes instantly. It’s not necessarily one of disgust, but of panic, of discomfort. He’s still blushing, but he’s sweating now, just like before, in elementary school, and he can also hear the ladies in the back making comments just like his friends from before. He’s not angry, as his brows are raised instead of furrowed, but he’s deeply unsettled. 

In this next set of panels, Shoko notices the ladies and pulls away, and Shoya’s face is a bit different and more comical. He’s still sweating and blushing, but his mouth is open wider as if to say something, and his hand is limp. When she pulls back. There’s a spark that’s closer to her than it is to him, which I think symbolizes a sudden awareness on her part rather than his. He also looks a bit happier that she let go, with only one sweat drop on his face instead of multiple. His brows are also more relaxed, and his mouth jaw is closing slightly. This is presumably how Shoko is seeing him in this moment.

 And when someone interrupts, presumably one of the women who were laughing at him, he gets all stiff again and his blush mostly disappears. Then the panels start being viewed from either Shoya’s side or from his perspective again. Fast forward to when they’re feeding bread to fish a few minutes later. 

He blushes at the thought that he’s having a normal friendly conversation with Shoko, the girl he used to hate, not just “a girl” or “a person my age that’s a girl for the first time since I hit puberty”. He’s not blushing at a romantic encounter or moment, but that he’s making a friend, he’s nervous that he has zits in his face, not because he thinks she’s pretty or something like that, that doesn’t even cross his mind, but that he can have a positive relationship with someone who isn't in his family or someone he works with. And someone he ruthlessly bullied five or six years ago.

Another example of his Asexuality comes right after this, when they both jump into the water under the bridge to rescue Shoko’s old notebook. He accidentally looks up and sees her skirt lifted, but he immediately closes his eye and looks down again without a blush on his face, and immediately focuses back in on finding the notebook without even a moment to get his bearings. It doesn’t bother him at all.

sorry about the bad quality, i had to take this picture for the sake of time instead of finding it online. 

The next chapter features the biggest theme of the entire manga and anime besides redemption:

This is brought up again once Shoya meets Yuzuru, who wants to keep him away from Shoko. Yuzuru asks, “Are you really her friend?” And it brings about this entire thought process for Shoya, again and again, in the series. And then he meets Nagatsuka: 

This is an example of my second point: Shoya’s blushing. A lot of “evidence” people give for Shoya liking Shoko is that he blushes around her a lot. This is a false equivalence, for Shoya blushes all the time and for anyone and any reason. Here, Nagatsuka does something extraordinarily nice to him for no reason, and he blushes, his confusion evident in the furrow of his brow and him asking, “Why’d you do all that for me?” In the 10th anniversary edition. Nagatsuka’s friendship from here on causes him to blush just as much as Shoko, and it doesn’t stop there. Later in the series when he befriends Miki, he’s also seen blushing around her, and not only that, but there are symbols seen around characters all the time to forward the notion of different points of view within a panel.

Image 1: Blush blush blush~ all of this at the notion of friendship, a complete turn around from whenever anyone mentions romance or sex around him. He’s forming connections with people for the first time since middle school, or even elementary school, to further Point 7. His need for platonic relationships greatly overshadows any hint of romance that is ever brought up, especially with Shoko. 

Image 2: Miki sees herself as cute, which is why the bubbles appear around her, signaling a slight pov change. Shoya himself never shows any interest in Miki, nor Miki for him, and it especially shows in this scene with his expression and his thoughts not at all aiming towards her. And when Miki says Mashiba is handsome, a particularly aesthetic,  romantic, or sexual form of attraction, this is something Shoya doesn’t even notice; yet, when she says Mashiba wants to be his friend, his eyes go wide with sudden interest. His disinterest towards romance and sex also take into account men, as well. 

Image 3: once again, Miki has bubbles around her, but this is not Shoya’s pov until the next panel. This is a good example of background and environmental symbolism not necessarily reflecting on Shoya’s own thoughts and feelings, but those around him. 

If we go to the movie, in image 1, this scene is shown with Shoya and Nagatsuka doing a secret handshake, which has a lingering touch between them that doesn’t make Shoya uncomfortable like Shoko’s attempt at handshakes/handholding does, and it’s in the midst of a conversation about friendship, in contrast to how the ladies from sign class assumed it to be a romantic thing with Shoko and Shoya. And speaking of, shortly after image 1, we run into them again: 

Once again, the blush appears, but his brows furrow and he has a frown on his face that shows his discomfort, along with the sweat. He runs away because he’s embarrassed, not because there’s any truth to what they’re saying. This bring us again to point 3: Shoya points out multiple times that he does not like Shoko romantically. For the sake of convenience, I’ll add the rest of the times that he does this, and the chapters, to show that he doesn’t change his mind even by the end of the manga. 

chapter 15

Chapter 20 (genuine confusion, doesn’t see it as romantic in the slightest, regular rosacea blush on his face. Pure amatonormativity and relationship hierarchy)

chapter 21

chapter 40 (this one needs further explaining but I’ll do it in the next post)

chapter 41

chapter 61 (til the very end, the literal second to last chapter, his friend is being allonormative while he’s perfectly happy and blushing at his friendship with Shoko. His expression holds a seriousness that implies it’s not a joke on his part, as well as the excited look he has as he gets an answer to the question)

Since I can only post 30 picture at a time on tumblr, I’ll stop the post right here and finish on a reblog some day. Yes, I know about the interviews with the author, and yes, I’ll supply those in due time as well. 

[raavenb2619]

“Musical about a green magic girl who's totally alloaro, trust me, where are you going she's alloaro, I have a whole powerpoint presentation stop backing away from me I have proof she's alloaro just listen to me” - Things I tell my friends to try to get them to watch media I like

[variousqueerthings]

hey been thinking about a-spec semiotics in fiction (a-spec anything under the aro, ace, apl, afm umbrellas, including ofc demi, grey, loveless, and any other versions thereof)

putting together some thoughts on what that can look like (like the obvious one "character is simply too passionate about [thing] to have time for relationships" -- but it could be much vaguer, like recurring ideas that seem to pop up in these sorts of stories)

and if anyone has something that they think screams a-spec coding, either within characters or within textual symbolism/actions/world-building, etc.

[full-of-malice]

miguel o'hara, relationships, & asexuality

i'm back with another character analysis because i can't be normal idk this is a take on miguel being asexual from the perspective of an arosepc aspec person and just discussing him for no particular reason

miguel o'hara is a generally sexualized character, shown constantly over and over again through media, you're often unable to scroll through any social media feed without finding something about miguel's ass or boobs or him half naked. he's incredibly hypersexualized in every aspect. much of this likely stemming from the "latin lover" trope and fetish. [this is not a callout type analysis, not everyone who finds him attractive has a fetish. this is just where i get to say random things because i feel like it for some reason] despite not being shown in any sort of sexual concept, shown anything related to romance, shown interest in romance, or even portrayed having an old relationship, the internet became obsessed with this man. miguel has shown no want or need for relations, romance or sex or not his driving motives, he has romance and sexual concepts forced onto him, not unlike many asexual people. it's one of the reasons that some asexual people may headcanon him as such, and may see themself in the way that he is constantly being sexualized for nothing. yes this is a character, who does not exist, but this aspect that seems made by more fanon parts of the atsv is incredibly relatable all the same. by no means does this headcanon mean that he as a character cannot participate in sex nor romance, asexuality and being aspec is a vast spectrum, some people have likes, dislikes, preferences and so forth. this isn't a headcanon because i might think he's a prude

regardless of whether you think that miguel is asexual, or if he is sex repulsed, allo, or aromantic as well, it can easily be said that having a relationship is not on the table for him. in regards to miguel's mental health, romance or sex is not an option really. while he does need to be taken proper care and get the help he needs, romance is a commitment that him getting into amongst all of this, simply would just not work. his immense anger issues, devastating grief, and unhealed trauma would simply not be good for a romantic or sexual relationship, and it would end up falling apart. rather he needs a kind of care and stability, from friends, maybe a therapist, those he can form a familial bond with over time. he doesn't need a relationship or to care for others, first he needs to learn how to care for himself and take a moment for what he needs rather then what his moral guilt is driving him to do. 

as always thank you for reading my incoherent mess of words

[aroanthy]

Besides Anthy what other characters do you are aro- or any kind of a-spec?

All Of Them.

on a more serious note, im very partial to the following aspec readings of characters:

aroace/aroace lesbian nanami; one thing to know about me is that i realised i was aromantic because of two things. the first is that i wrote a 55k word fanfiction about two side characters from the 2005 bbc political satire 'the thick of it' that was basically just me airing my fundamental discomfort with romantic relationships, and the second is watching her tragedy and the romance of the dancing girls for the first time. Yeag.

aromantic nanami is profoundly important to me and i really just resonate with her character on a personal level. like shes so me. i dont get it. i too have convinced myself of all kinds of taboo and 'weird' affections and feelings because i Dont Understand Romance (just as a side note: i understand why some people take the cold turkey 'nanami never considered romantic feelings for her brother!!' reading, but for me personally. i think it's important to consider nanami considering those feelings, specifically because they make her feel uncomfortable, alienated, etc. there's also lots of interesting things to be said about how incest can affirm heteronormativity (and how it can't!! but that's more of a kaoru twins can of worms)).

and there's other stuff but we needn't get into that. i love when other people feel able to talk in-depth about how their personal expereinces shape their responses to rgu, but im not quite at that point with certain things. i do also just really like reading nanami as an aroace lesbian bc i find her connection with utena specifically to be soooooo. gah. delicious. fascinating. devastating. and also i love aroace lesbains they are the best

asexual utena; i just think he's neat :} sometimes i feel hesitant to read characters as asexual if theyre teenagers or if they have sexual trauma and funnily (not) enough, utena is both! having said that, i recently decided 'fuck it' and have been thinking about this interpretation of his character more and more. like, my aromantic identity is partially political, partially trauma-informed, and i feel quite strongly about queerness in part being one's choice to define (or not define) themselves on their own terms, be they 'contradictory' or 'inaccurate' or whatever the hell else.

i also have a fondness for asexual masculine characters. me personally i read utena as butch and transmasc and i think it's really interesting to think about how that queer masculinity can be expressed outside of allosexuality, especially considering what rgu as a show tries to do wrt that matter. dont ask me about my feelings on ikuhara and false dichotomies of love and lust in his works or i WILL explode ok sarazanami is The aroallo show and im soooo normal about it all tbh

i have this kind of vague arospec touga reading that im always knocking about in my head but kind of scared to talk about online because like. it's quite a lot to get into and, as an aroallo person, i dont want to get into discourse about if it's problematic to read a character like touga in that way. bc like. i dont think it is. but that's because i'm basing this reading off of my own lived experience and understanding of what aromantic allosexuality can look like. to be honest, if i really had to stick labels on them (bc labels are a shorthand to me that never fully express the complexity of identity that i want to personally (writer disease)) i read anthy as an aromantic lesbian and touga as aromantic and gay. but normally you would have to waterboard that out of me because im terrified of how people who aren't aroallo respond to aroallo conceptions of like... Anything. lol.

i think the tldr of Why im compelled by those similar readings of their characters is. something about how terrifying and constraining and rigid and incomprehensible and inaccessible romance feels to me as a concept. and something else about how important sex is to me as a concept, and kind of. this radical sex positivity that is so essential, imho, to beginning to unpack the issues baked into our hetero- and amatonormative conceptions of romance and sex, and thus reclaim human connection as we please. blah blah blah wah wah wah body as a bargaining chip or whatever (guy who is mildly terrified of talking about these things for Reasons).

that's it for specific readings i have of specific characters, but i will say that i do find it hard to put myself in the shoes of certain characters if im thinking of them as alloromantic. like i think juri probably is but i dont not understand her conflict with shiori and why it agonises her so much. but tbf, most of my focus on juri as a character is her struggle for self-acceptance and her fascinating gender troubles. funnily enough, that's also kind of how i feel about saionji. they are just both so genderfuck self-hating gay plagued by the power dynamics and i love that for them.

anway yeag :} rejoice, aromanticism be upon ye