#aspec fandom

[variousqueerthings]

happy ace day, and inspired by @aq2003 some favourite asexuals:

hon. mention: the entire oeuvre of middle-earth + 50 characters or so from star trek (star trek is so ace, there's a whole essay to be written about that). and every doctor from dw ofc, but decided to rep with 10, as they're misunderstood in that iteration. also sugar in some like it hot but i went for monroe's character in seven year itch who is doing The Most around this mediocre guy. someone save her

[soft-for-xie-lian]

If anyone has any aspec fanfic recs send them over!!! Or if anyone has an aspec prompt i’d be happy to give writing it a go! I’ll be recommending aspec fics too 🤩

[anistarrose]

drawing characters with the combined "sunset" aroace flag is always a vital public service, and more people should do it, not less. it's a good flag! but, just as an observation... I feel like at some point, "aroace headcanon enthusiast culture" shifted away from drawing aroace characters with the separate asexual and aromantic flags, and towards drawing them the combined aroace flag, almost exclusively.

I think about this because some aroaces, including myself, either identify with the sunset aroace flag less than the individual flags, or don't identify with the combined flag at all, because we see our asexuality and aromanticism as either mostly or entirely separate. and that separation is actually reflected in a lot of my aroace headcanons! some of the aroace headcanons I think and post about the most are about characters being disconnected with both sex and romance, but in incredibly divergent ways! or they're about characters prioritizing one over the other in their self-identification, and in their personal meaning-making! to me, it is both projection and good fuel for character study!

and in fact, separate or combined aroace identity are both super nuanced, and worthwhile to explore! but when we treat one as the default, I feel like we gloss over the nuances of both. and let me be clear: no one has to write an essay about the nuances of a character's aroace identification and experiences in order to draw them with any combination of flags. it can truly just be vibes. you can even just like the colors! but I feel like some people might not know that the sunset aroace flag is just one option — and again, I think this does a disservice to both separate flag users and combined flag users who like to see their experiences reflected in fanworks. there's so many beautiful ways to be aroace! and also... honestly... sometimes I have aroace headcanons for goths and/or mad scientists. sometimes I just like the purple and green colors.

[sortingmyideas]

Male character: I'm not attracted to women.

Fandom: Oh, he's gay.

Female character: I'm not attracted to men.

Fandom: Oh, she's a lesbian.

Any character: I'm not attracted to anybody.

Fandom: Well, we don't know that they're ace/aro/aroace. It's open for interpretation. They're not canonically ace/aro/aroace unless they specifically say they are.

Hmmmm. I wonder why we're so frustrated in fandom spaces. I wonder if there's a reason.

[mossy-aro]

[canonically47]

“there is no straight explanation for this” neither is there a gay one. there is however an aromantic one

[radioactive-yuri]

everybody in fandom could have so much more fun if they started playing around with aromantic identities more. why is it that the only time a character is headcanoned as aromantic, they're headcanoned as aroace. why is it that the only aspec microlabels ever included in headcanons are the asexual ones. there are so many characters that would be infinitely more interesting to interpret as aromantic or aro-spec. ask me about it. ask me about it

[kiwinatorwaffles]

people can do whatever they want with fictional characters forever but one thing that always pisses me off is how aro/ace characters are treated in shipping.

while it is a naive mentality to tell people never to ship aspec characters, saying “aces CAN have sex” and “aros CAN be in a romantic relationship” to defend erasing their aspec identity just to ship them as if they were like an allo person means you don’t respect their identity, nor ours. yes aces can have sex. yes aros can be in a romantic relationship. but they will still be aromantic and asexual while in that relationship. and don’t even get me started on using demi identities as an “easy explanation” for why it’s okay to allowash them. other identities are treated with such absolution, so why should we continuously get the short end of the stick?

so i guess the thesis of this post is that people are absolutely allowed to ship aspec characters but if you mfs don’t care enough to understand the nuances of our identities i’m taking your aspec blorbos and putting them on a high shelf

[cosmicredcadet]

"Why is all aspec representation in media AROACE rep?" and is the aroace rep in the room with us right now?

[lifenconcepts]

hot take but. Before people were fucking about with terms and stuff, old movies had WAYY more deep platonic connections that could be mistaken for romance and stuff. Not that they had romantic or sexual tension but like.. people nowadays look at two characters glance at eachother and think ‘wow. They should fuck’ but a room of guys would stare at some guy tenderly holding another guy on tv because he had a nightmare and think ‘wow. What a very sweet moment with absolutely no other connotations other than deep respect and sincerity.’

just think that’s neat.

[variousqueerthings]

oh [character with non-normative relationship to sex and romance and gender] we're really in it now

[infiniteorangethethird]

I don't mind ppl shipping aro characters actually. What I do mind is ppl turning aro characters alloromantic to fit into ship stereotypes, and then claim they are still aro without putting in the effort to actually portray them as aromantic characters in a romantic relationship

[leikeliscomet]

[CLOSED]

And that's a wrap!

Thank you everyone who filled this in (200+ people!) especially to everyone who was really nice in the closing comments 😭

There's a massive variety in opinions and thoughts here so now I'm gonna write everything up and use it to finish off the essay.

Hopefully both the essay and report will drop by the end of June if not by July at the latest 🙏🏾

-

For my next essay I'm gonna need some help! If you're ace, aro or both I wanna know what your aspec thoughts are on Doctor Who from representation to fandom experiences to headcanons. If you've got some free time, please fill in my survey:

EDIT: Deadline will be 15/06/2025 at around 2pm BST (British Summer Time)

Update 1

Update 2

Update 3

Update 4

[sortingmyideas]

If you hear of a character being romance/sex repulsed and your first thought is to try to debunk or ignore it, fuck you.

If you hear of a character being aro/ace and your first thought is to say it's not canon because it wasn't explicitly stated in the media they're in (even if it was confirmed by the creator), fuck you.

If you hear of a character being romance/sex repulsed and your first thought is to say that character is boring/lonely/sad/evil because of that, fuck you.

It's almost comical how fandom is largely filled with people who claim to support aro/aces until their favorite character happens to be aro/ace. Then it's every excuse under the sun to ignore that or better yet, claim it's not canon.

A lot of you don't give that same treatment to gay characters, so you might wanna figure out why you're so okay with doing it to these ones.

[cepheusgalaxy]

Wish more people understood the difference between "shipping this aro character because i want to explore their aromanticism and where they stand in the spectrum" and "shipping this aro character because i don't care about their orientation".

[canonically47]

“can you people just let friends be friends!!” i shout into the mic. the crowd boos and throws tomatoes at me. “why, are you homophobic?” they accuse. i shoot everyone dead with my aromantic beam.