#regulus and barty

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: do you ever get so annoyed at everything that you start to get pissed off at even little things like a spoon clinking against a bowl or sounds of people talking?

James: I think it's called sensory overload it's really common in people with anxiety

James: It can also be a result of sleep deprivation, stress, or even dehydration

Regulus: Thanks I thought I was just a bitch

Barty *appearing from thin air*: yeah that too

[deswhomst]

regulus supported all of barty’s rights and wrongs but the moment he found out that barty let a house elf take the blame for his fuck up and get fired, it was on sight

[not-rab]

*at a death eater meeting*

Barty: They hate our strategies because we're dating!

Evan: …

Evan: We’re not dating?

Regulus: YOU’RE NOT!?

Barty *getting off Evan’s lap*: We’re not?!

[regulusblock]

teen Regulus: what's an orgasm?

teen Barty: when you fold paper to make birds and shit

also teen Evan: that's oregano, bitch

[my-castles-crumbling]

demon - @rosekillermicrofic - word count: 172 - NSFW

Regulus realizes it is high time to move out on Friday evening when he brings back someone from the bar. He's just gotten them both a drink, settled into the couch, and is beginning to get a bit caught up in staring into those adorably endeared hazel eyes behind circular frames, when a strange sound comes from a closed door.

"What the fuck was that?" His date asks, looking both amused and confused.

More noises. Regulus sits, mortified as it becomes a cacophony. Moaning. Screaming. Whimpering. Crying. Maniacal laugher.

"My flatmate," he grits out, wishing desperately the man had suggested his own place. "Barty. He and his boyfriend, Evan-"

Another muffled scream.

But his date looks oddly impressed. "They sound like they're exorcising demons."

Regulus snorts. "It wouldn't surprise me."

A loud moan makes him frown, but when he looks up, his date is sending him a smirk, eyebrow raised. "Think we can be louder?"

Oh.

Regulus doesn't think about Barty or Evan for the rest of the night, that's for sure.

[nixnight1]

Regulus high with Barty at the Potter's

Sirius: Can I get in here? I need the- Oh my god!!

Regulus using Sirius' clothes and makeup: It's like looking on a mirror!!

Sirius: No it isn’t, Regulus >:(

Regulus: Who's Regulus?

Barty: I already can't tell who is who

Sirius: Take that stuff off

Regulus: Moony! Get in here and settle this!

Sirius: Don't call my boyfriend "Moony"

Remus: What? OH woah-hey Hey, travel size Pads! Awww

Sirius: Moonyyyy, you're encouraging him

James: I need the bathroom... Oh wow this is confusing

Sirius: No, it's not!

Regulus: You're my family and I love you all, but I'm cooler than all of you!

Sirius: I don't say that

James: Well that's all you say

Remus and Barty: Yeah

[ghosteccedentesiast]

*Just the slytherin skittles playing truth or dare*

Barty: Truth or dare Regulus?

Regulus: Truth

Barty: Do you want to kiss Potter?

Regulus: Actually dare

Barty: I dare you to kiss Potter!

Regulus: Never have I ever!

Barty: Thats not the god-damn game!

Regulus: *shrugs*

Barty: Never have I ever wanted to kiss Potter!

Regulus, taking out his wand: Silenci-

*The rest just watching in amusement*

Evan: Should we inter-

Dorcas: No, Regs denial is rather amusing!

[sunseekerchild]

Regulus: Do you ever just... think before you act?

Barty: Absolutely not. That ruins the fun.

[chasingthestarss]

Barty: point is, we need to try it.

Regulus: but that’s illegal.

Barty:

Evan:

Regulus: I’m just fucking with you, I’m in.

Evan: I was in when I heard illegal.

[moondustinfj]

*Regulus fake dating Barty to make James jealous*

Barty *in a fake accent* : Regulus, love, you'll have to introduce me

Barty: *wraps his arms around Regulus' neck*

Regulus: Of course. This is James

James *looking between them* : Hi

Barty * taking James' hand* : Sorry, Jim?

James *annoyed*: It's James.

Barty: Jacob? Jacques? Giacomo?

Regulus: James

Barty: Ooooh ok, fancy

James: It was...nice to meet you

Barty: So nice to meet you too Hamish

[moonyswarmsweaters]

*after a horrible situation*

Barty: well at least one thing is positive

Regulus, still catching his breath: what could that POSSIBLY be?

Barty: well it made me laugh

[tenaciousmilkshakecandy]

I love the headcanon that when Jegulus first got together there was a one sided 'war' between Barty and James, either on James's side because he found out that Barty and Reg had something going on at some point or on Barty's side because he thinks James is trying to steal his best friend from him and he truly understands why Reg would be easily stolen by James cause James is everything that Barty wishes to be. And so this just kinda continues for months without the other one knowing anything about it.

[not-rab]

James *out of curiosity*: How did all four of you even befriend Regulus?

Evan: I helped fix his wand after I broke it

Barty: I stole his broom and refused to give it back unless he was nice to me

Pandora: I stalked him

Sirius: I'm his only biological brother and there's no refund button

[regulusblock]

Regulus: can you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

Barty: [crouches down]

Evan: [gets on knees]

Regulus:

Regulus: I hope you both end up in hell!

[my-castles-crumbling]

ear - @rosekillermicrofic - slightly nsfw - word count: 206

"Reg," Barty whined, slamming his books down on his bed. "Please kill me."

"Gladly," Regulus mumbled, not looking up from his sketch. "I don't even need a reason, just hand me the knife."

"Oh, a knife. Kinky," Barty replied, grinning and bounding into Regulus's bed. "Don't you want to hear why I need to be murdered?"

"Not partic-"

"Rosier. Our Evan Rosier. My Rosie. Pierced his ear," he sighed, sprawling over Regulus's legs, ignoring the other boy's hiss of complaint. "I never knew how much I liked piercings, Reg. Not until now."

"You have a million piercings, Barty. Of course you like them," Regulus muttered, sending him a death glare.

"Right, I like them," Barty nodded reasonably. "But now...I like them," he said, grinning and waggling his eyebrows at Regulus, who scoffed. "What do you suppose will happen if I just....bite his ear? Is that something friends do, d'you reckon? That's okay, right? Just a little bite, maybe I'll suck on it for a-"

"I'm going to the library. Don't follow me or I'll hex you," Regulus interrupted, shoving Barty off and striding toward the door.

And Barty just stayed there, laying on Regulus's bed, staring at the ceiling and imagining that tiny piercing, mouth watering.

[melstinybrain]

regulus: the real treasure was the memories we made along the way.

barty: I almost died!

reg: ah yes, that was my fondest memory.