#regulus and barty

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: Right, I've left you all written instructions for when I'm away this time.

Pandora: Mine says 'no explosives'

Even: mine says 'no hexes'

Barty: mine just says 'no’

[not-rab]

James *out of curiosity*: How did all four of you even befriend Regulus?

Evan: I helped fix his wand after I broke it

Barty: I stole his broom and refused to give it back unless he was nice to me

Pandora: I stalked him

Sirius: I'm his only biological brother and there's no refund button

[regulusblock]

teen Regulus: what's an orgasm?

teen Barty: when you fold paper to make birds and shit

also teen Evan: that's oregano, bitch

[nixnight1]

Regulus high with Barty at the Potter's

Sirius: Can I get in here? I need the- Oh my god!!

Regulus using Sirius' clothes and makeup: It's like looking on a mirror!!

Sirius: No it isn’t, Regulus >:(

Regulus: Who's Regulus?

Barty: I already can't tell who is who

Sirius: Take that stuff off

Regulus: Moony! Get in here and settle this!

Sirius: Don't call my boyfriend "Moony"

Remus: What? OH woah-hey Hey, travel size Pads! Awww

Sirius: Moonyyyy, you're encouraging him

James: I need the bathroom... Oh wow this is confusing

Sirius: No, it's not!

Regulus: You're my family and I love you all, but I'm cooler than all of you!

Sirius: I don't say that

James: Well that's all you say

Remus and Barty: Yeah

[ghosteccedentesiast]

*Just the slytherin skittles playing truth or dare*

Barty: Truth or dare Regulus?

Regulus: Truth

Barty: Do you want to kiss Potter?

Regulus: Actually dare

Barty: I dare you to kiss Potter!

Regulus: Never have I ever!

Barty: Thats not the god-damn game!

Regulus: *shrugs*

Barty: Never have I ever wanted to kiss Potter!

Regulus, taking out his wand: Silenci-

*The rest just watching in amusement*

Evan: Should we inter-

Dorcas: No, Regs denial is rather amusing!

[chasingthestarss]

Barty: point is, we need to try it.

Regulus: but that’s illegal.

Barty:

Evan:

Regulus: I’m just fucking with you, I’m in.

Evan: I was in when I heard illegal.

[moondustinfj]

*Regulus fake dating Barty to make James jealous*

Barty *in a fake accent* : Regulus, love, you'll have to introduce me

Barty: *wraps his arms around Regulus' neck*

Regulus: Of course. This is James

James *looking between them* : Hi

Barty * taking James' hand* : Sorry, Jim?

James *annoyed*: It's James.

Barty: Jacob? Jacques? Giacomo?

Regulus: James

Barty: Ooooh ok, fancy

James: It was...nice to meet you

Barty: So nice to meet you too Hamish

[theprongspotter]

Blue: Regulus

Gray: Barty

[yourgalgremlin]

Barty ✨slaps the roof of James Potter✨: This hottie can fit so much hate-flirting & pining in it!

Regulus: Barty wtf would I do with a sports car?

James: Ride it. I mean drive it.

Regulus: I’ll take it, where do I sign?

[redadidassneakers]

Barty: how do you sleep at night?

Regulus: like a baby

Regulus: every two hours I wake up screaming

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Pandora: I love knitting needles. I can make a scarf. I can make a hat. I can stab someone's eyes out. I can make mittens.

Lily: what was that middle part?

Pandora: I can make a hat...

Barty, Even, Regulus, and Dorcas in the distance: *beaming with pride*

[not-rab]

Regulus: *wears dark grey*

Barty: I see you’re breaking out the spring colours

[regulusblock]

Regulus: can you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

Barty: [crouches down]

Evan: [gets on knees]

Regulus:

Regulus: I hope you both end up in hell!

[nixnight1]

Evan: what will I tell Reg? He wants to wear them tonight

Barty: Well, I don't know. Tell him to wear his own rings

Evan: These were his rings!!

Barty: Nooo...NO. You lent me Regulus' rings?? I'm not allowed to borrow his stuff!!

Evan: Why not??

Barty: Because I lose his stuff!!

--- a few hours later ---

Barty: Hey

Evan: Did you find it??

Barty: The snake ring? No. But I found my sunglasses under the couch 😎. I've been looking for these since last summer

Evan: those are my sunglasses, you borrowed them from me

Barty: Okay, calm down, here they are

Regulus from his room: Evan, do you have them??

Evan: Give me a minute! *whispering* What do we do!!

Barty: I don't know. I don't know!!

Evan: Alright, well, we'll just have to tell Regulus, that's all

Barty: Bloody hell, he's going to kill me

Evan: I could tell him it was all my fault...

Barty: Oh, that'd be grate

Evan: you own me

Barty: Anything

Evan: Regulus, can I talk to you fir a second??

Regulus: Yeah, what is it??

Evan: Uhm...I lost one of the rings you lent me

Regulus shocked:...

Evan: I'm sorry, I am so so sorry

Regulus: Wow...all right, well, what can you do? If you lost it...you lost it...

Evan: I'll replace it, I promise. I feel so so terrible

Regulus: Alright, Ev, that's fine. You didn't do it on purpose

Evan: No :(

Regulus: Look at you, come here

-- Evan and Regulus share a hug --

Regulus: You feel better?

Evan: Yeah, you're the best

Barty: *OFFENDED*

Barty: Okay wait a minute. I can't do this. Listen, honey, it was not Evan’s fault, he lent me the rings and I lost one. I'm so sorry, hun, I feel terrible * with his arms open looking for a hug*

Regulus:...

Regulus: That it's EXACTLY why I don't lend you stuff!!

Barty:...

Regulus: FIRST it's my jewelry. If its not my jewelry, it's my green sweater. If its not my green sweater it's my sunglasses

Barty: *with his arms down* your sunglasses??

Regulus: Yes!

Evan: Oh right!

[gods-graveyard]

Slytherin skittles soft headcanons

Regulus has a "Doll" mode where he basically dissosiates and acts like the "Perfect Pureblood heir" his family desired. His friends all have different ways of dealing when hes like this

Pandora strokes his hair and sings lullubies, sometimes in french

Dorcas does all his homework on his behalf after wrapping him in blankets so he can cool down

Marlene paints his nails and rambles about all the gossip and rumors floating around the school

Evan will move him to the glass windows by the lake and watch the water silently by his side

Barty will make an utter fool of himself or start making outragous claims like "Im pretty sure the sun is an illusion and were just being gaslit into believing in it" because he knows it makes Reggie laugh

When Pandora and Evan were little and one of them had nightmares, they would sneak into eachother's rooms. Now at Hogwarts the first time Pandora had a nightmare she broke into the Slytherin common room. Now every time Evan misses his sister he knows he can just want her to come and there she is, they claim "twin telepathy". Also No one knows how she keeps getting in, she doesn't know the password- but who tf is going to stop her from seeing her brother??

Every time Barty gets an angry owl from his dad, he gets so overwhelmed by anger to the point being called by their name makes him want to scream. So all his friends start calling him "idiot" "pretty boy" "raccoon" "dumbass" respectivly until he calms down.

Dorcas is an overachiver and will run herself into the ground trying to be the "best" and meet her own perfectionist standards. They sometimes steal her homework to do it on her behalf, shes so sleep deprived the only way she notices it wasnt her is no one but Evan has a perfect immitation of her handwriting. She appreciates it nonetheless

Marlene impulse dyes or cuts her hair, peirce's her ears, gives herself a stick and poke. Anything that proves she is in control of herself and that her decisions have an impact. But of course one too many patchy jobs, choppy bangs, and infected peircings or tattoos and things had to change. Now she can go to her friends, demand a septum and Evan is pulling out some rubber gloves, Regulus some expensive jewlery, and Dorcas and Pandora grab face masks and other self care stuff to do afterwards. Barty always insists on doing it as well, that way if she does get dresscoded she isn't alone.

[reggies-fake-horcrux]

barty has DEFINITELY been bitchslapped before