#But seriously... as much as I find it kinda funny to put this here because hee hee memey tv show

[thewispsings]

queen shit | max verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x pageant queen! reader

summary: max verstappen mets you, his long term celebrity crush at a charity event.

notes; someone request this but i accidentally posted it before i finished and had to delete it…i hope this finds you anon

liked by rupaulofficial, maxverstappen, mclaren, and 913,047 others!

yoursername: very successful event tonight, many thank you's to all those who attended and donated, much love 💜

view comments below!

user1: by very successful she means that she just raised over 20 million dollars for family's in need. 20 million dollars. TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS.

user2: QUEEN. SHIT.

user3: i love rich people actually putting their money and status to work

user4: my goat 💪💪

user5: there were SO MANY different celebrities there

user6: and she definitely did NOT know all of them!

user7: probably just invited them so more money could be donated 😭

user8: was the most random people too, like kim kardiashian?? mitski??? f1 drivers??? hockey players??

user9: no seriously. because why was i watching the livestream only to see george russell dancing in the background. very horribly may i add

georegrussel|63: thank you for the invite! i had the time of my life!

yoursername: of course george! thank you for the donating :) <3

user10: they’re friends???

user11: some of yall are FAKE FANS. yn and george have been friends for YEARS. he even posted her when she won miss universe and many times after

user12: i wasn't even alive when she won miss universe...

user13: PAUSE.

user14: WHAT ARE YOU ON SOCIAL MEDIA? THIS IS NOT A SAFE PLACE FOR YOU

user15: YOURE SIX?? AND CAN SPELL??

user16: are we all going to pretend like max didn't just meet his celebrity crush?

user17: most people here don't know who he is 😭

user18: "meet" is a STRETCH, he stood behind her all night just staring...

user19: yeah it was actually kinda sad

user20: f1twt is CLOWNING HIM SO HARD RN

user23: 3x world champion and he's too scared to go up to his celebrity crush

user24: OKAY GUYYYSSS BUTTT this is his first time seeing her in person! ofc he was shocked, maybe next time he'll actually go up to her?

landonorris: thanks for the invite!

georgerussell63: you were my plus one?

landonorris: SHHHH

georgerussell63: in fact, everyone on the grid got personally invited, except you?

landonorris: STOP AIRING OUT MY BUSINESS

user27: yn definitely didn't invite him directly just so lando could be embarrassed like this

alex_albon: best thai food ever (other then my moms) thank you for the invite!

user25: yeah we saw they way your scarfed that shit down

user26: acting like it was the last fucking supper

yourusername: thank you for coming alex! (and for taking home the leftovers)

user28: HE TOOK HOME THE LEFT OVERS?

maxverstappen1: hi

georgerussell63: oh no

landonorris: no way he does it

charles_leclerc: i believe in you max

carlossainz55: don't hype him up! max don't do it. don't embarrass yourself like this

oscarpiastri: i say go for it max

yourusername: hi max :)

georgerussell63: omg omg OMG

maxverstappen1: would you like to go on a date with me?

landonorris: oh he did it...

carlossainz55: NOOO

charles_leclerc: yay max!

user29: it's been 10 hours and still no response...

liked by georgerussell63, and 762,091 others!

yourusername: pretty sunset 🌅

view comments below!

user30: is that…a man?

user31: this makes max being rejected so much more humiliating

user32: SHE HAS A WHOLE BOYFRIEND?? 😓

user33: max found sobbing into his pillow

user34: *not clickbait*

georgerussell63: i laughed

user35: GEORGE???

user36: he’s funny for this

user37: max most definitely doesn’t think it’s funny

user38: yns first time soft launching and it’s right after max publicly asks her out…hm!

user39: she was waiting for the funniest moment to do this

user40: QUEEN SHIT

user41: ok but who is this man 🤨

user42: don’t call me delusional…but that hand kinda looks like max

user43: okay granny let’s get you back to the nursing home…

user44: thankful i’m not this delusional

user45: free yn from the max fans…

user46: @/user42 DONT LET THEM SILENCE YOU

landonorris: he cried

yourusername: i cried

landonorris; we crode

user47: okay it’s definitely max

user48: lando knows something

user49: MAX ISNT IN THE LIKES??

user50: it really isn’t him…hes been flirting with her through the likes for years

user51: rip max being the first to like yns post..gone but never forgotten 🕊️

charles_leclerc: hehehe…hehehe…hehe

user52: WHAT DO TOU KNOW CHARLES

user53: don’t fuck with me charles. i am not in the mood.

user54: you can’t convince me that man is not max when all his friends are in the comments section like this

user55: charles istg

alex_albon: i know something 😏

user56: ok. it’s definitely max.

user57: i still don’t think it is…we can’t see his face

user58: but what are the chances she soft launches after max asks her out

user59: she probably did it to be funny?

user60: and it worked! she’s too funny

liked by alex_albon, carlossainz, and 914,058 others!

maxverstappen1: matching sunglasses 🕶️

view comments below!

user61: QUICK, WHOS FEET DO THOSE LOOK LIKE

user62: oh max…

user63: okay so! it’s either max and yn DID go on that date, or yn has a bf and max posted this to save himself

user64: i realllyyy hope max and yn did go on that date because if max posted this just to save himself the embarrassment….

user65: what if this isn’t even a girl, and it’s one of max’s friend pretending to be a girl 😭

user66: i can see charles pretending to be the girl

user67: HE SO WOULD

charles_leclerc: those are NOT my toes 🤕

user68: okay but no one on the grid has skinny little girl hands like this

user68: logan does

logansargent: ?

user68: well this is awkward

georgerussell63: well well well

user69: THIS CAN MEAN MANY THINGS GEORGE!! IS THIS YN OR NOT

user70: i don’t think it’s yn. she’s too pretty for max.

comment liked by georgerussell63

user70: GEORGE LIKED??

user71: so it’s NOT yn?

user72: but he could mean it in a “they are dating but she’s too pretty for him” way

user73: GRRRR

carlossainz55: i can’t believe it

user74: WHAT. WHAT CANT YOU BELIVE CARLOS

user75: you can’t believe that yn and max actually went out?? or you can’t believe max got a another girl after being publicly rejected??

user76: they’re like giving us hints but at the same time they’re not??

user77: THEYRE PLAYING WITH US

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 802,520 others!

maxverstappen1: i’m dating a pageant queen and you’re not! 

view comments below!

user78: FINALLY!

user79: could’ve just said this earlier..

user80: could’ve saved us the trouble 😒

carlossainz55: i still can’t believe it

user81: SO HE DID MEAN IT IN A “can’t believe you actually got her” WAY

maxverstappen1: you have no faith in me :(

carlossainz55: correct!

charles_leclerc: i believed in you max!

maxverstappen1: thank you charles 😄

carlossainz55: he’s lying, he bet €50 you wouldn’t get a text back

maxverstappen1: THAT BASTARD

charles_leclerc: IT DIDNT SEEM LIKE YOU WERE GOING TO GET A REPLY! I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD TIME TO WIN €50 AND I WOULD’VE GIVEN YOU HALF?

user83: i could be dating a pageant queen, you don’t know me

user84: are you?

user83: am i what?

user84: dating a pageant queen?

user83: no

user84: what is wrong with you

user85: i love how nobody was hating, we all just wanted to know if max x yn was happening

user86: max has gotten his dream girl…WE CHEERED

user87: years later and lot of instagram likes, we DID IT 👏

user88: we?

user89: i was there almost 8 years ago when max put his first like on yns post, so yes! WE

user90: thank god for that charity event

liked by maxverstappen1

yourusername: former pageant queen

maxverstappen1: you’ll always be a pageant queen in my eyes 🥰

landonorris; simp

maxverstappen1: mad you don’t have a girlfriend?

user91: WOAH GIRLFRIEND?

user92: girl what did you think was going on here

user91: I DIDDNT KNOW THEY MADE IT OFFICIAL

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, and 715,047 others!

yourusername: i’m dating a 3x wdc and you’re not!

view comments below!

user92: please don’t rub it in

user93: i’m soooo happy for you guys (sarcasm)

user93: yes i’m jealous

danielricciardo: actually i am dating a 3x wdc and his name is max verstappen

yourusername; really? because max verstappen is is laying on me right now

danielricciardo: that’s a clone. the REAL max verstappen is laying to my right.

yourusername: this is what we call schizophrenia 🥰

user94: you guys are so cute! (i’m jealous, i’m so fucking jealous)

user95: max started dating his celebrity crush of 8 years in 8 days! we did it joe! we did it

user96: they won’t last. they’re moving to fast.

user97: they’re both grown adults who know what they want 🤷‍♀️

maxverstappen1: that’s me!

yourusername; that’s you!

georgerussell63: yeah max we have EYES.

maxverstappen1: don’t be pissy because yn likes me more now

georgerussell63: she does NOT

maxverstappen1: you keep thinking that 😇

charles_leclerc: i always knew he could do it!

maxverstappen1: no you didn’t. stop lying to me.

charles_leclerc: IM SORRY. I WAS GOING TO SHARE THE €50 WITH YOUUU.

maxverstappen1: I DONT CARE @/oscarpiastri is the ONLY know who truly believed in me

oscarpiastri: i bet €100 against you

maxverstappen1: I CANT TRUST ANYONE

alex_albon: does this mean we’ll be invited to more charity events?

user98: you’re just thinking of the food 😐

alex_albon: …yeah

maxverstappen1: 😁🥰👊😏🔥💕🤗

user99: bro starts dating his celebrity crush and forgets how to act

user100: me if i was dating oscar

. . .

notes: thank you for the request! (even though i accidentally deleted it)

[dcxdpdabbles]

hello hello! After a few posts of this premise I just had to say something and because you just make them come to life I just had to ask :) anyway, Danny let’s say in seriously injured by the giw or even his parents but he is reverting to his core and he goes to Clockwork to help since he’s the one he’s the most closest ghost to and kinda his guardian ghost, Clockwork sees that he himself will not be able to help forever and finds a different solution. He takes Danny’s core and makes a magic safe guard and puts his core inside in the guise of a doll like this one:

But with Danny’s coloration! He sends Danny to Gotham and ends up being picked up by Robin!Jason who thinks he’s cute and gets attached, Danny is weak but trying to gather ectoplasm but sends a sense of gratefulness to Jason who feels it but is a bit confused but happy he saved a doll. He brings it with him everywhere and takes it with him everywhere but when Jason dies and buried Danny is sat at his grave and he wakes up a little earlier with Danny and brings with him. He gets a strange attachment and feeling of safety with the doll and then is able to talk to it and Danny and him become closer and when he eventually reunites with everyone and things smooth over he feels it’s fine to bring Danny the doll to the mansion and the others realize that Jason has a haunted fucking doll and with the already thin trust they can’t do hair when Danny messes with them with moving their stuff, appearing out of nowhere, and being all around creepy but he helps Alfred so Jason has no issues and finds it funny. There are probably times where they try to dispose of it anyways but comes back completely fine and they become even warier but Danny is just having the time of his life while eating his ectoplasm while helping them with cases and finding things and such and Alfred even defends him when they try to talk Jason around about the creepy doll and is like “Did you stay at my grave 24/7 in all weather? That’s what I thought.” When Tim tries to get evidence he takes a picture of the doll all he sees is a boy around the age Jason died with pale soft blue eyes staring back with a soft smile that even if it wasn’t really creepy he still felt a chill down his spine

First of all, the photo almost gave me a heart attack. Haunted dolls terrify me (ironically, I fear ghosts.) But honestly, I love the prompt, so here you go!

Jason moves back into the manor- sort of. He's still in the middle of his hostile takeover of Crime Alley, but things are a little less stressful between the family. Maybe it was because Jason's Pit Madness was slowly disappearing, thanks to his friend Danny.

Danny was a great listener and always willing to help Jason sort through his feelings and thoughts. He was the reason that Jason chose to try to talk things out with Bruce before going through his insane idea of attacking Tim at the Titian Tower.

Which, you know, Tim was grateful he didn't actually go through with it after finding the plans in some of Jason's stuff while helping him move. The fact he wanted to wear his old Robin outfit- which would not fit on his body now- would have been beyond traumatizing enough, thank you very much.

"I know." Jason laughed as the rest of the family crowded around the plans. Even Damian seemed a bit disturbed by what was written. "Danny made me realize I didn't have the skinny legs to pull off the outfit."

Tim has never met Danny, but he has heard about him. Jason spoke about him when he followed Bruce and Jason around with his camera, which was enough for him to know Danny was likely a childhood friend.

Of course, Danny went by the code "Doll" in those days. Personally, Tim had always assumed that Jason and Danny shared a relationship that went beyond friends.

It had been another reason that Jason was his favorite Robin. If Robin could like boys, then Tim could too, and the knowledge that one of his literal heroes was like him helped Tim accept himself faster.

He never brought it up, even as Jason slowly gained control over Crime Alley as a Crime Lord- one that didn't kill because it would make Danny sad, which was another point in his secret boyfriend checkbox list.

Everything was fine- until Bruce found out about Danny.

"Jason, I thought you outgrew Danny," Bruce uttered hesitantly as Jason explained how Danny had fallen over himself when describing his Titain Tower plan.

Jason's eyes flashed green at once, and everyone in the cave grew tense.

"I will never outgrow Danny!" The second oldest barked, his neck muscles straining.

Now Tim knew that Danny was a secret, so he never brought him up despite the burning need to ask every question under the sun about him. Jason wasn't out to the rest of the family- detectives or not- that was up to Jason to decide when they would know.

He just always assumed Bruce knew since, you know, his son called his best friend Doll back when he was fourteen and running around in green spandex.

How could he not know? Did he want Jason to change his cape out for a rainbow and sing musicals at the top of his lungs on Wayne Tower?

Actually.....Jason did sing in musicals at his drama club. Honestly, Bruce was in denial.

Jason may not be out, but Tim wouldn't let Bruce bully him about his lover!

"Jason can have whatever friends he wants! And feel whatever he feels about them!" Tim snares, and that causes Dick, Damian, and Steph to bristle. They stand beside a huffing Jason, slowly coming down from his rage at the sight of support.

Cass and Alfred watch from the Batcomputer, a tension around their eyes the only sign that they, too. Bruce intelligently raises his hands in a placating manner.

"I did not mean anything wrong by that, Jason. I'm just surprised Danny still has such a strong hold on you." Bruce starts, his eyes never leaving his boy's face, even with all his other children flocking around him. "I thought Danny was lost when you died."

There is a long pause where Tim considers the words. It's a fair assumption. After all, Danny thought Jason had died and been buried. Why would he wait around after that?

Even the Bats still didn't know what caused Jason to come back. How would a civilian possibly begin to consider his boyfriend returning from the grave- or Tim assumes to be a civilian since Danny had never joined them on the field? He had to be in the know for Jason to tell him the plans comfortably.

"He waited every day, twenty-four seven at my grave," Jason tells Bruce, puffing up his chest. "He was with me when I was in a coma and when I was practically brain-dead on the streets. Hell, he was even there when the League of Assiasns brainwashed me!"

Damian jerks in surprise. He always gets taken aback by how casually Jason admits being part of the organization of his upbringing, no matter how briefly. Not even Bruce does that. "I....was unaware Daniel had been with you. I never saw him."

"Talia allowed me to have him with me just as long as I kept him tied up in my closet so he wouldn't be spotted."

Everyone but Alfred and Bruce step back, staring in horror at Jason. Tim can figure out by their reactions alone that everyone in the Bats had come to the same conclusion as he did about Danny being Jason's lover then.

After all, it's hard to hide that kind of thing from the family of detectives.

How could I have missed this? Tim thinks in dismay. Quickly, his brain runs through every time Jason has so much as hinted at Danny, trying to spot the signs that apparently his brother was abusive and honestly psychotic towards his boyfriend.

"Jason," Dick began in the same casual tone he usually used on hostile witnesses. "Where is Danny now?"

" Upstairs in my closet. He kept trying to escape, so I had to switch to chains." The responses are as easy as they are casual. Tim's stomach drops.

Quickly, he makes eye contact with Steph, who very quickly lowers her chin at him, and then his eyes flicker to the others. Damian's hands have curled, while Dick moves casually to stand behind Jason, which will make it easier to restrain him.

How long had Danny been up there? How many days and nights did he spend held against his will in the one place that should have been the safest of Gotham?

They all tense their muscles, ready to strike-

"Danny is a doll," Bruce suddenly speaks up, his eyes flickering to all of the gathered children with a wild, alarmed look. Ah, he caught on to the fact they were about to take Jason down. "A doll that Jason found in Crime Alley. Made of porcelain and fabric. Not a person."

The Bats are still eyeing their father with sharp, trained eyes, but Alfred's agreeing nod has them relaxing. Oh, thank the gods!

"Of course, Danny isn't a person," Jason replies mystified. He is unaware of how close he came to being jumped. As it were, the Bats stepped away from him as he looked around, confused. "Why would I have a person chained up in my closet?"

Bruce gets a strange, sad smile on his face. "Yes, Chum, why would you."

Tim isn't following. "If Danny is a toy-"

"A doll." Jason cuts in with a hard edge to his voice.

"Right, sorry, if Danny is a doll, why must you chain him up?"

Jason smiles. "Cause Danny runs the first chance he gets."

What?

"Danny is a haunted doll," Bruce starts, only to have Jason huff.

"No, he isn't! Danny is not haunted; he's just curious." Jason rolls his eyes. "Yeah, he never stays still, and okay, sometimes things disappear around the house, but that doesn't necessarily mean a haunting!"

"Master Jason, might I remind you that while you and Mister Danny were first living here, I caught the vacuum moving by itself?" Alfred calls. "I also remember that Mister Danny's head turned to me and followed my movement as I dusted."

"He just wanted to help you clean," Jason defends in a rather childish manner that Tim never thought he would see from someone his age. Maybe that's why Bruce was worried Danny was still around. "He's not a ghost."

"Chum, I hear laughter from your room even when you are not home." Bruce starts. "The laughing started the day you brought Danny home."

"He can tell great jokes!"

"Wait, tells jokes? Jason, does Danny talk to you? " Steph questioned, looking a tiny bit spooked. Oh yeah, she hates ghosts. Tim forgot her fear of them after living so close to the Gotham cemetery and all the nasty ghost stories surrounding it.

Jason blinks down at her, likely forgetting they were present, before considering the question. He moves his hand in a so-and-son motion. "He tries, but it sounds like fast past whispers. I have to strain to hear him."

"Jason," Dick says with an easy-going smile that belies the worry in his eyes. "That's haunting one-oh-one. You're haunted."

"No, a haunting implies that Danny is dead, which he is not. Danny is just resting until his body can reform. I think he's an alien." Jason taps his chin. "He told me before that his species are the conscious manifestation of ectoplasm but that their souls are within a small core, they can retreat to when badly injured. Danny was really hurt, so he's taking a while to reform."

Bruce's strained smile becomes tighter. "We can have Zatanna or Consitine take a look at him. They might-"

"I'll blow your fucking head off if you try it, old man" Jason's eyes were a bright green, an animistic sneer at his lips, and bloodlust was thick in the air. The abrupt change makes Tim wonder if he has passed out and missed the trigger.

Bruce sighs. "Of course, Jason. Why don't you show everyone, Danny? I think it's time they meet him."

Jason beams, shooting up the stairs to go get his doll. Everyone watches him go, and until they are sure he can not hear them, they burst into conversation.

"Jason is definitely haunted!" Dick despairs, throwing himself dramatically on a nearby chair. "We need to do something! Get it away from him."

"We will do no such thing," Alfred huffs. "Mister Danny is a fine young ghost who helps Master Jason. It would be unwise to separate them."

"As much as I hate to admit it, even Dinah claims that the two are good for each other." Bruce says, likely unhappy that Black Canary used her therapy license against him, "Apparently, Danny is Jason's support doll."

Before anyone can say anything else, Jason races down the stairs with a broad smile. In his hands is a beautiful porcelain doll with black fabric hair, a fine little king suit made from expensive material, and a pretty painted face.

Its green glass eyes- colored to seem almost watery- seemed to stare into everyone's soul as Jason held him up for the room to see. Danny had no facial expression- not even a smile, just a soft, relaxed neural set of features that were popular in the era he was likely made in, but the eyes held emotions.

There was definitely something intelligent and aware in them.

Tim shuddered.

"Oh, Tim, can you take our picture? It's Danny's first time in the cave, and I want to commemorate the date!" Jason suddenly asks, rocking on his heels like he used to do as Robin. Tim wonders if Danny was doing that to him- reverting him to a child-like mind.

If so, was that a good thing? Should he let it keep happening?

"Sure, Jason," He says, instead picking up his camera that he had taken on patrol. He aims his lends, trying to find the perfect lighting as his older brother quickly holds the doll up in his arms, allowing it' head to be at the same level as his face.

Tim snaps the picture, but when he looks at the screen, a shiver runs down his spine, and it takes all his training not to scream.

Jason's smirk is not out of place for his hulky form. He takes up most of the frame, but where Danny the doll is, there is a faint outline of another person. A teenager, maybe a year younger than Jason, with pretty features, a copy of the beauty in Jason's arms, but much more human, yet not human, is smiling at the camera.

He's about a head shorter than Jason, but even with the softness of his smile, Tim has never been more creeped out in his life.

Jason is definitely haunted.

"How did it come out?" Jason asks as Danny's doll head turns to look at Damian. The younger boy imminently moved back, hiding behind Bruce. The doll's eyes followed him, almost amused by the boy's actions.

"G-good." Tim stammers. Steph is already racing for the safety of Bruce's cape, joining Damian. "Danny is beautiful."

Jason pauses, tilting his head as if hearing something, eyes flickering down to his right where the teenager ghost stood for the picture, and then grins.

"Of course he means it." Jason's ears turn pink as he admits, "I also think you're the most gorgeous person I've ever met."

Okay, Jason is definitely being haunted by someone he might have a crush on. That's....something Bruce has to deal with because Tim is the younger brother, not the dad, and thank god for that.

He might be wrong, but he gets the sense that the doll is blushing even though nothing changes.

It's not my circus and will never be my monkies. Tim thinks racing to Bruce's cape is a good idea as well. He is scared to be out here in the open like Dick and Cass.

Those two might be okay with being haunted, but Tim isn't. Just in case, he'll have to steer clear of the manor for a few days.

[wolfiesmoon]

Countless nights

Malleus x gn!reader

i felt like writing something super cute and lovey dovey and basic after listening to can't help falling in love by elvis presley so here we are lol😌🩷

this is nothing revolutionary that hasn't been done before just so much fluff you'll throw up a furball (made of fictional fluff) by the end

There are many a night which he spends thinking of you.

Lilia had told him about it, a long long time ago. How your chest would tighten, how your face would become warm, how your heart would flutter when gazing at the person you're in love with. But he never imagined that it could feel this amazing, this freeing, this beautiful.

There are many moments he thinks of on these nights...

You run up behind him, yelling the silly little nickname he's grown to love hearing fall from your lips.

He turns around, grinning at the sound of your voice. Truly, you are a sight for sore eyes. Your little furry companion is with you, too, dozing off in your arms.

"It's so nice to see you in the hallways for once." you realise that you mostly see him in front of your dorm when he randomly shows up. Because of that, you kinda forgot that he's also a student at the school and takes classes as well.

"Likewise. It's always a pleasure to see you." He didn't say anything presumptious, so why are you making that excited face all of a sudden? Now he feels giddy.

A silence falls between you.

"Ahaha... Um... I actually have no idea what to talk about... I kinda just ran to you after seeing you..." you admitted awkwardly.

That is... very comforting to hear. All you need is the sight of him to want to be by his side. The warm feeling spreading across his body is very welcome.

He wants to hear you say that sentence over and over, but greed is not a good quality to bear, so he'll settle with hearing it only once.

"Then I suppose you wouldn't mind listening to me talk? Do you happen to be partial to gargoyles?" He takes the opportunity to talk about the passion no one seems to share with him. He's fully expecting you to say no and change the topic, and he wouldn't blame you at all in some regard. He's well aware most humans don't take interest in something as specific as gargoyles.

"I never really thought much about them before. But sure, tell me about it." you actually look really interested, waiting for him to start.

He smiles.

Oh, he just can't help falling in love with you.

.

"Did you hear about that new ice cream place that opened in town recently?"

When you asked him if he could spare 2 hours of his day just for the two of you yesterday, he was certainly not expecting you to open with this.

"Lilia told me you like ice cream, and I was pretty curious about the taste myself." you wonder to yourself if there's any funny flavours you wouldn't find in the human world. If so, you're definitely trying them out.

"So, uhhh... wanna go try it with me?"

You don't even realise how happy you've just made him. He has to hold back the wide smile that threatens to spread across his face.

"Hahaha, you're so strange... Though I certainly wouldn't mind." You seriously just want to... hang out with him? What a pleasant surprise, indeed. It makes his heart beat with excitement.

"Let's go!" you start running down the hill to get to town, excited to share ice cream with him.

.

"Aw man, it's almost impossible to choose." you're contemplating between three different flavours at the moment.

"Shall I choose for you, then?" Malleus suggests. He already picked the flavour he wants and is waiting for you to make your choice. Not that he's annoyed by that. The longer you take, the more minutes he can spend by your side. How greedy of him.

"Go ahead." you sigh defeatedly. You're truly thankful he can put an end to the awkward situation of you just staring between 3 different flavours for like, 2 whole minutes now. You're creating a line behind you, no doubt.

"You should get the strawberry flavour." Malleus recalled a story of Lilia's in which he told him that strawberries are a symbol of love in a country he visited. He feels a bit cheeky, sneaking a subtle hint in like this.

"Uh, sure! I'll have one scoop of strawberry!" you raised an eyebrow slightly at his satisfied smile. Why is he smiling now, of all times?

If he's happy, you're happy, you suppose.

The two of you decided to walk around town while eating the ice cream. It was a nice change of scenery.

You were telling Malleus about a funny potionology mishap you had with Grim and Ace today when someone bumped into you, making you lose grip of the ice cream.

It fell splat on the ground, making it no longer edible.

"Oh come on..." you looked down at the wasted ice cream sadly. It was really good, too.

"I can return it to its original form, do not worry." Malleus suggested, already about to do it when you gently grabbed his wrist. His eyes widened slightly and a strange tightness enveloped his chest.

"No need. Just hanging out with you is enough. Enjoy the ice cream for the both of us." you're really fine with just watching him. He seems very happy when eating ice cream, which you can't get enough of.

"...If you wish." he felt his whole being warming up at your sweet words.

Oh, he just can't help falling in love with you.

.

"Child of man. What is the meaning of this?" his expression darkens when he sees your fingers wrapped in bandages.

"Of wha- Oh, you mean my bandages? It's, uhhh, a bit embarrasing. And also a suprise." you hid your hands behind your back, not wanting him to worry about them too much.

"Tell me." he looked quite scary in this moment, almost like he was ready to kill. Is he really that worried over it? It kinda makes you feel giddy.

"It'll ruin the surprise, I'm just saying." you shifted your weight from one foot to the other. His terrifying gaze didn't falter however, so you gave up.

"Roses are really important symbols in Briar valley, so I've heard. So I kinda wanted to give you a hand-picked rose boquet for your birthday tommorow, but I was dumb and didn't use gloves to de-thorn the roses. So that's why my hands look like this." you still felt a little bad ruining the surprise, but giving Malleus peace of mind is much more important.

"Oh... So it was that, I see." Malleus still witheld a somewhat cold, scary expression. He can't stand to see you hurt, in any way. And knowing it was all for him makes him feel even worse.

Still... you wanted to make him happy so much that you willingly hurt yourself to see it happen. Warmth rushes to his face at the thought of you handing the boquet to him. That's quite a common way of confessing love among humans, is it not?

He can't wait for his birthday all of a sudden.

On these nights, he just can't help falling in love with you.

[tizeline]

What is Draxum's relationships with each of his kids?

I'd assume he's closest to Mikey due to their shared interest in the mystic arts, as well as Mikey's emotional attachment to anyone he considers family 🥰

I find it funny how similar Donnie and Draxum are in cannon and I wonder how that will play out in this AU

The same thing with Leo and Splinter were very similar to each other despite being on opposing sides.

Yeah, I'd say Draxum and Mikey are the closest with each other. Draxum loves all his sons, but he really has a soft spot for Mikey. Mikey in turn is very devoted to Draxum, I've mentioned it before but Mikey's strong desire to do the right thing paired up with a lifetime of his father convincing him that destroying humanity is the right thing has led to Mikey being very determined to fulfill Draxum's plan. Also him being a prodigy with mystic powers leads to him spending a lot of time training his abilites with Draxum.

Raph is basically Draxum's second in command, as the oldest of his brothers he of course is the leader of the team when Draxum isn't the one issuing out orders. Draxum puts a lot of responsibility on Raph, responsibility that Raph very much takes seriously so Draxum as a result also has a lot of trust in him.

Poor Leo is still very much dealing with some intense Middle Child Syndrome here lol. To be clear, Draxum still loves Leo, and vice versa, but Draxum's role as a parent has a tendency to clash with his role as a... what, a military commander? Something along those lines. Listen, he's preparing to lead the yokai into war against the humans, and with his sons on the frontlines he needs to quickly figure out their individual strengths so that can help them evolve their specific skillsets. Mikey has his mystic abilities, Raph has his physical power and Leo.... Well, we know that Leo's expertise lies in his strategic thinking, except neither he nor Draxum has figured that out yet lol. Draxum is the leader, he comes up with the plans, and Raph's in charge otherwise. He doesn't notice Leo's leadership capabilities because he doesn't even think to look for them.

Leo's situation is kinda similar in this AU to what is in canon, where his self-esteem issues caused by him not feeling like he's bringing enough to the team paired up with him being a total Daddy's Boy and craving parental validation that he doesn't feel like he's getting because Draxum is more focused on Leo's brothers so he acts out to get attention and again Draxum's parental duties clashes with his WAR LORD duties or whatever because dammit son I love you but you need to quit goofing off you're a soldier and uh.... yeah...... Leo feeling a bit like the black sheep of his family (hah, sheep, cuz Draxum's a... hah) is another contributing factor to him being the first to turn sides.

And yeah, you make a good point, Donnie being so similar to Draxum vs Leo being so similar to Splinter is.... ooooooo, that's fun, there's so much potential there. Draxum's definitely dissapointed that Donnie's so gifted when it comes to the sciences only for him to be all like "Alchemy??🤨🤨🤨 Mystic science??🤨🤨🤨 That's not scientifically accurate!🤨🤨🤨" and just rejecting almost anything yokai-related.

Actually, Leo reminding Draxum of Splinter has a lot of fun possibilites too. Draxum being all like "Ah, he's just like Lou Jitsu!🤩" while simultaniously being all like "Ugh, he's just like Lou Jitsu...😒"

[just-another-author-i-guess]

Ppppft!!! Elliot casually entering in Judd's room at the worst possible moments, yes please!! I like to think that Judd put all those signs in his door mainly because of his dad 🤣 Elliot and Diane embarrassing Judd is everything i need in this life, hopefully in front of his crush lol 😈

This has been stuck in my head literally the whole week— it’s too good not to write seriously 🤭

Tags: fem! Reader, mentions of sex? Like a lot of mentions, also masturbation, also cockblocking lol, but as I keep saying this is big mouth fanfic what do you expect, Nick and Jessi being jealous boggles my brain, it’s too funny, Elliot Birch is an actual menace, he also has no regards for privacy, it’s his house so he can enter whatever room he wants ig, author had way too much fun writing this

I based this on my first big mouth story, read it HERE

Author’s note: I’m cackling. I loved writing this so much omg— why is it funny tormenting the characters so much 🧍🏻‍♀️anyways, I did my best with Diane and Elliot’s dialogue,, but it’s hard lol. I hope you find it as funny to read as I did to write, and also, ig I kinda lied bc the third and fourth reason technically doesn’t have anything to do with people barging into Judd’s room. But he does get embarrassed, and I needed a good title, sue me. No but seriously, I hope you like this haha

Four (4) reasons why Judd has ‘keep out’ signs on his door

Word count; 4,7K

Reason one (1)

The air in Judd’s room was warm, and humid, and seemed to have stilled once the two of you collapsed on the bed, worn out from an intense round of fucking. 

He barely bothered covering himself, instead he threw you a somewhat sweaty shirt he had been wearing beforehand and pulled the covers up enough to just barely cover his hips. You accepted it with shaky hands and a worn out smile, almost purring as you slipped into the garment and burrowed yourself under his covers as well.

Between your legs, now resided a slowly cooling and increasingly sticky mess, still leaking from you as you turned in the bed. However, your boyfriend never made a move to get up and fetch a towel. He did reach out an inviting arm, though, urging you to scoot closer to him. You did so with a hazy look on your face, nuzzling into his neck and inhaling. 

You listened to his heart beat wildly, his blood bump and felt so, so content. You heard him relax as well, a deep, low, grunt of a sigh as he settled in, clearly as ready for a nap as you were. 

With the humidity and the stillness of everything, it was too easy to close your eyes and bask in the feeling of sleepiness. You were right there, on the sweet, blurry edge between sleep and consciousness when a series of rapid knocks broke through the silence.

Judd groaned, clearly on the cusp of sleep himself— voice even raspier than usual. Besides mumbling a few threatening words under his breath, he didn’t move to open the door or even care to call out to whoever was knocking. It would most likely be Nick, anyway, coming to bother you and he would set the world aflame before he let his stinky little brother see his girlfriend half naked. 

None of you even had time to register it, before the door rattled, opened and a much too cheery Dr. Birch stepped through. 

You froze— wide eyes searching Judd as the crease between his eyebrows became deeper and a murderous expression overtook his sleepy face. 

“Dad.” He rasped. “Get the hell out.”  He was quick to tuck the covers around you, especially your still very wet crotch and ass, completely disregarding the fact that he was butt naked himself. You shrieked as he suddenly rolled you in the sheets— grateful nonetheless as you came to face Elliot Birch, the man completely indifferent to the two of you and your nakedness. 

“Oh, my sweet Judd!” Mr. Birch exclaimed, ignoring how you both looked very much like you wanted him to leave. “How magnificent is it, that you feel comfortable sharing your nude self with me and Y/n?” 

He clasped both hands over his heart, dramatically, and Judd somehow turned even paler than he already was. He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like; “I am going to fucking murder you.” And darted for the floor where he had thrown his jeans. 

“Oh noo! No need to feel ashamed, Judd, I’ll take my pants off too!—“

“— no!” A choked out yell escaped you too quickly. Your face felt hot, and you didn’t have to look in a mirror to know that you were beat red by now. You did not need to see Judd’s dads bare ass after already already being embarrassed beyond belief. 

Dr. Birch chuckled and smiled warmly at you. “Setting your boundaries, I see. I’m so proud of you Y/n— my son has such a strong willed girlfriend!” 

Your cheeks burned. “Uh, right. Thank you, Dr. Birch,” 

“Call me Elliot!” 

Judd scoffed behind you, finally getting his pantless situation under control. “Fuck off, dad. Now. I mean it.” Even he was a bit too stunned to come up with a proper threat. 

Elliot sighed, smiling. “Oh, I will, I will! I’ll leave you two lovers alone in just a minute! I do have a little favour to ask you first, though, Juddy,” 

“What.” Judd deadpanned, the tips of his ears colouring slightly at the horrific nickname. 

“I have this tag still on the back of my shirt, you see, I would have taken it off before trying the shirt on, but now I appreciate it so much I didn’t want to take it off myself— Ah, it holds such good memories of this morning!” 

This morning in particular, Nick tried to hit on you and Judd threw a milk carton at him. 

Judd sighed, deeply, and looked a bit like a feral bull. “You are such a fucking pussy, dad.” He growled, but still walked towards his dad with intend to help. 

“Thank you! That is such a beautiful organ,” You kinda wanted to snicker, at the absurdity of the whole situation, but kept your mouth shut. Judd worked quickly, ripping out the tag and throwing it at his dad. 

“Why the hell didn’t you ask Nick?” Judd grit out, coming to sit on the edge of his bed by your feet. He put a protective, soothing hand on your leg under the covers. 

Dr. Birch laughed. “Because you’re so strong! And I love you, son,” 

Judd visibly clenched his jaw, you had no doubt that if this continued a vein would pop on his forehead. “I hate you.” He countered.

“And I validate that feeling! You have such a way with words, you should think about being a writer, don’t you think so too, Y/n?”

“Get the fuck out.” Judd snarled before you had to respond— thankfully. You smiled awkwardly at Mr. Birch, as if trying to confirm Judd’s words but in a much politer way. 

He smiled. “Alright, alright! Have fun, you two, and be safe!” He said over his shoulder, as if it wasn’t obvious that the two of you had just very much had your fun, and sauntered towards the door, closing it gently behind him.

Reason two (2)

Unfortunately for Judd, he didn’t have his own bathroom in the house, having to share two between his family.

Around the shower, was carefully placed a plethora of different pastel coloured shampoo and body washes— all of which belonged to Leah and smelled like a candy crush fever dream. Judd sorted through them roughly, pushing most of them over in his search to find the all-in-one and shampoo for dyed hair he usually used. 

As he showered, working the shampoo into his hair and revelling in the warm, steamy water spray, Maury appeared; ‘You’re taking a shower for Y/n, huh?’ The hormone monster drawled. He was bored; checking his nails as he made himself comfortable on the toilet outside the shower. 

Judd grunted. It was true, you would be over in a bit and he didn’t want to smell like the raccoons.  “Why are you here?” He demanded. 

The monster chuckled and held up his hands in defence. ‘It’s not my fault you can’t stop thinking about Y/n.. Ahh, remember last week when she sucked you off in the shower? Why’s she not doing that right now? Let’s call her,’ Suddenly Maury had Judd’s phone, and was waving it around. 

“Fuck you. Let me shower.” 

‘No, let’s fuck Y/n!’ Maury countered enthusiastically. ‘And besides, y’know that’s not how it works,’ He grinned mirthfully, slithering around the glass wall of the shower to point a long, clawed finger at Judd’s cock— sure enough it was rising to attention. ‘You gotta jerk off. C’mon, give me a good show!’ 

Judd could have punched Maury— and he had actually tried that before, just for the monster to disappear and reappear behind him with a smug look. So instead of drop kicking his hormone monster, he promptly ignored him and turned around to face the water spray. 

‘Nuh-uh,’ Maury grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him around— he shook the monster off with a deep growl. ‘Think about Y/n’s nice, biiig tits, ah~’ Maury shuddered, but continued. ‘Remember how they looked all wet, uhhh I bet she’d let you blow your load all over them next time,’ Maury was unrelenting, an increasingly deepening blush spread over Judd’s face and ears and he let out a strangled groan. 

“Shit, fine!” He hissed and the monster whooped in victory. 

Judd was quick to tip his head back and grab his dick with a closed fist. He sighed through gritted teeth as he got to work— swiftly and quite roughly pumping himself as Maury cheered him on. He closed his eyes and let his jaw go slack, imagining it was your hand around him and recalling the alluring noises you made whenever he was pleasuring you. 

His release build steadily, hand movements getting more frantic and his breath sped up. The spray of water only seemed to get hotter, and the steam in the room became more dense. He leaned forward— spreading his hand out on the wall in front of him to get a better angle, and keep his balance. Now his head hung low, and he panted open-mouthed as he tightened the grip around his cock and sped up his movements again. He was so close, just a few more pumps and— 

The bathroom door flew open and Judd all but jumped out of his own skin. He had locked the door when he first entered, right? 

‘Nooo..! Elliot, get the hell out!’ Maury yowled— appearing on the other side of the shower and trying to push out the intruder, who unfortunately was Judd’s dad. Elliot could neither see nor hear or feel the monster, so Maury’s punching and shaking left him completely unfazed as he continued further into the room.

Judd’s eyes shot open, slack mouth turning into a frightening scowl as he heard his dad sing to himself. Elliot sauntered about the bathroom— humming a song about lotion and browsing through the cabinets. 

“Don’t mind me, Juddy!” He yelled over the water, as if it was a most normal occurrence to walk in on your 18-year-old son taking a shower. 

Maury slithered back into the shower. ‘Let’s kill him. Now. And then we can tend to your little.. problem after,’ He suggested, glaring at Elliot’s shadow through the shower window. Luckily, it was steamy enough to only show silhouettes, so Judd could at least maintain a bit of dignity. 

Judd grunted and nodded in agreement, turning off the shower. “Get the fuck out,” He rumbled, low and threatening. 

“I can’t find my lotion anywhere! It makes my skin so soft— just the way your mother likes it,” Elliot tutted, completely ignoring Judd’s orders. 

“I’ll fucking skin you alive. Get out.” Judd repeated, this time raspier, raising his voice. The steam from the warm water was slowly dissolving— leaving the glass in the shower clear enough to reveal most of Elliot to Judd and vice versa. 

Elliot chuckled warmly. “You have such a poetic soul, son. It’s such a shame you don’t write more,” 

A cross between a deep growl and sigh escaped Elliot’s oldest son. “What the hell are you talking about.” Judd said, and though it sounded like a question he didn’t actually want to know the answer. 

Dr. Birch turned to his oldest, now fully visible behind the shower glass and said; “Your creative potential! Ohhh! You should write Y/n a love letter, she would love it—“ 

“— Fuck no.” 

Elliot’s eyebrows creased, and his facial expression turned earnest. “I know you’re very good at pleasing Y/n with your body—“

“—Dad, shut up—” Now Judd was really embarrassed, he had both hands covering his privates, but was still very much butt naked in front of his dad, a reality that didn’t fail to make a blush creep over his ears and cheeks. The fact that he was also still rock hard, didn’t help at all. 

“— But!” Elliot continued, pointedly ignoring Judd. “You should do something romantic for her! Something with your heart! You should always show a woman how much you love her, Judd,” He reminded, a gentle smile on his face as he watched his son grow increasingly embarrassed. 

“Okay. I don’t care. Get the fuck out.” Judd deadpanned. He had let his facade slip for just a brief moment— before covering his appalled expression up with a vicious glare. 

“Oh, but I still need my lotion—“

“— I’ll gut you and fill you with your fucking lotion if you don’t get out.” He snarled, strained and deep and his look made it clear it was definitely not up for debate. 

‘Boo! Get the fuck out, Elliot!’ Maury added in the background, throwing a shampoo bottle at the man. 

All he did was chuckle at the threat— shrugging his shoulders. “Alright, Juddy, I respect your boundaries. It’s important to acknowledge such things,” He smiled and relented his search for lotion. He continued humming obnoxiously, however, as he left and softly closed the door behind him. 

Reason three (3)

You gasped, puffy lips parting to make way for the eager sound. Judd had roughly thrown you on the couch, slotting himself between your legs and ferociously attacked your neck as soon as you had walked in the door.

Finally, finally, the two of you were alone— in fact, you had the whole house to yourself. Leah was out, Mr and Mrs Birch had taken Nick out for dinner which left you and Judd the perfect opportunity to fuck on the living room couch. And you barely got a saying (not that you minded) before Judd was putting that plan into action. 

Scrambling to put your hands under his shirt, you clumsily felt him up— lightly scratching at his abs just how you knew he liked it. He growled, heavy and husky and bit hard on your neck in retaliation. 

A strangled whine escaped you and you pulled at his shirt— you needed it off. You felt him grin against your throat, just the slightest twist of his mouth as he scraped his teeth against you. 

“Use your words, baby,” He breathed, cruelly dragging his teeth so slowly against your sensitive neck and grinding into you— so you could properly feel him. 

It was so unfair, he knew you’d have no chance of responding when he started palming at your tits, squeezing one in each hand. 

You tugged harder, pulling Judd closer to you in the process. “Off.” Was the only thing you were able to whine.

He licked a long stripe up your neck— tasting you to the best of his ability before he obeyed you. He sat on his knees between your legs, and you watched him with a flushed face as he pulled his shirt over his head and discarded it on the floor somewhere. 

Connie, who previously had been banned to the floor where she sat and watched the two of you intensely, stood up— her mouth dropped cartoonishly, hanging on the floor as her tongue lolled out. 

‘Sweet mother of jeebus! Look at those strong, delicious abs..! Lick them— c’mon lick them, hurry! Lick them till he’s all you can taste, sugarplum!’ She cried, and it wasn’t a question, it was a demand. 

You couldn’t help but oblige. You sat up, the way your legs were placed allowing you to straddle him and push him backwards on the couch. To your utter bamboozlement he let you, allowing you control for just a moment as a self-satisfied eyebrow-raise came to his face. 

Half sitting up, he now had the perfect position to ground up into you and you immediately lost what little control you had. Two large hands enclosed around your hips in a lock tight hold—starting a rhythm in which he could press your hips down on his. 

He kissed you then, a tingling feeling erupting in your lower stomach as you tasted the Jack Daniel’s on his tongue. He licked into your mouth with newfound fever, swallowing your desperate yelps and moans— one hand wandering from your hip to your shoulder where he started to push the strap of your tank-top down.

You arched your back, pressing into him, and he took the opportunity to roughly squeeze your ass. In retaliation, you reached a hand down— roughly squeezing his cock through his jeans. 

He groaned, a throaty, baritone sound. “You bitch..!” He cursed and then he was pulling your hair— suddenly pulling you back from his mouth with a harsh tug so he could position you in a way that allowed him to abuse your neck some more. 

He bit you so hard it was sure to leave marks, red and swollen bite marks that would sit on your neck for weeks like an obnoxious neon sign. You sighed and started working his belt—fighting to get it off so you could get your price quicker.

However, just as you were done popping the button on his jeans, the front door clicked and swung open. 

“No, dad! You’re embarrassing me—“

“— You used to love your father’s hugs, Nick, what’s wrong?”

“Nothings wrong, mom, but I’m a man now. I don’t want hugs.”

“Awww, please, Nicky. Let me give my little man a hug,” 

“No, dad, leave me a— Judd?” Nick walked further into the room, in an attempt to escape being coddled by his dad— but came face to face with you on top of his older brother instead. 

Judd’s grip on your hair immediately loosened, Connie cursed and tried to close the front door before Elliot and Diane could enter— you sat up, mortified and corrected the strap of your top back to your shoulder. 

“Nick.” Judd stated, barely bothering lifting his head to look at his brother. You, however, stared the tween down wide-eyed. “Fuck off, we’re busy.” He grunted. The very same sentence he said whenever Nick would brother the two of you in his room.

You watched as Nick’s fists clenched, his face going through multiple shades of red till it landed on an angry glare directed at his brother. “Judd, you're such a slut!” He yelled, voice crack audible and was that.. tears in his eyes?  

“Are you going to cry, you little prick?” Judd cackled— sitting upright all the way so his chest was pressed to yours. 

“Now, Nicky, what are you slut-shaming your brother for?” Dr. Birch waltzed through the front door along with his wife— as if this moment couldn’t get any worse. You moved to get off Judd, but when he grunted and held your hips down, you noticed he was indeed still incredibly hard and you would need to sit still, so as to not expose his boner to his family. 

You felt hot, too clammy as red colour spread from your chest all the way to your ears— like a kettle heating. 

‘Yeah, fuck this. Sorry, sweetheart, but I cannot deal with this today! You’re on your own!’ Connie patted your head, slowly backing away and into a portal that would take her to god-knows-where and throwing you a ‘peace out’ sign. Wow. Such support. 

“Look at what he’s doing to Y/n!” Nick accused, waving his arms at the two of you. 

You didn’t know it was possible, but Dr. Birch frowned, looking down at his son. “Now, Nicky, it’s never okay to slut-shame someone, especially not when you’re witnessing such a beautiful moment! Judd is just sharing an intimate moment with Y/n, nothing to be ashamed off,” 

Judd stiffened under you, he was tense, you were tense, both of you embarrassed beyond belief. Your ears burned bright red, horrified. 

Your boyfriend let out a warning growl. “Shut the hell up, dad—“ 

“— Oh, Y/n! It’s so good to see you!” Then it was Diane talking, she walked towards the two of you on the couch with a warm smile. You couldn’t bear to look her in the eyes— not when you were literally sitting on Judd’s boner, so instead you buried your head in his shoulder.

“Good to see you, too, Mrs. Birch..” You muttered, feeling Judd’s hands tighten around you. 

Diane tutted. “Oh, Y/n, no need to be embarrassed. I’m glad you both feel comfortable having sex under our roof, and you are more than welcome to,” 

It was an attempt to soothe you, yet it sounded so warped coming from your boyfriend's mom’s mouth. 

Judd heaved a long sigh. “We have.. shit to do. Leave.” He said, sounding equally as mortified as you felt. 

Mrs. Birch chuckled lightly. “We’ll be upstairs, Juddy. You two just enjoy yourself, and Y/n, please stay for dinner!” She hummed— you wanted to cry. 

You kept your head burrowed into Judd, listening as Mr and Mrs. Birch’s footsteps resounded towards the stairs, yet one pair of feet remained. 

“Get the fuck out, shitface.” Judd deadpanned. 

“I’m allowed to be here, it’s my house too!” Nick was defiant, pouting at his brother.

Judd’s jaw clenched— Nick would definitely come to regret this later. “You have a second to leave before I come over there and rip your beady eyes out, you fucking creep.” His voice was low and carnal and it was clear he meant business— that was no empty threat. 

Nick paled slightly, but before he could even begin to find the right response, Diane called from upstairs; “Nicholas Birch! Go to your room and leave your brother alone, now!”

At that, Nick complied immediately, secretly relieved to get a free ticket out of the situation before Judd would beat him to a pulp as he flew up the stairs.

Reason four (4)

You were sprawled out on Judd’s bed, a raccoon curled on your lap and Connie laying on her back by your feet. She was watching Judd intensely as he worked out— occasionally commenting on his grunts or groans as he lifted the heavy weights. 

You didn’t bother entertaining her, gently stroking the raccoon while scrolling on your phone. The animal chatted to you, small hands wavering about as it chittered. You thoroughly enjoyed moments like this, when you and your boyfriend could co-exist quietly and in peace. Judd was lying on the floor somewhere, having moved on from the weights to instead practise his pushups. The two of you would probably go out later, after the rather excruciating last few interactions you had with Judd’s parents, the two of you decided to skip dinner with them for the time being.

Your phone was hooked to Judd’s speaker, as he had graciously allowed you to play music for him while he worked out. The raccoon in your lap seemed to enjoy your taste in music as well- tail swaying softly to the baseline.

Catching your hormone monster from the corner of your eye, you saw how she stiffened and suddenly sat up. Her hairs stood up, ears turning down as she surveyed the room— she turned to say something to you, but right before the sounds escaped her, three shy knocks came to the door. 

Judd, who was now doing crunches, sat up fully to fix you a blank stare. He gestured towards the door with his head and raised eyebrows, you pouted but got up. The raccoon in your lap protested as you softly shooed it off— it scurried off under the bed to hide from whoever came to disturb you. Connie followed closely behind you, slinking after you like a shadow as you approached the door. 

Opening the door, you were already quite ready to fight off Nick or Mr. Birch, but what you didn’t expect, however, was your sister standing there and wringing her hands with a nervous expression.

“Uh, Jessi?” You didn’t even know she was here, actually you hadn’t seen her since yesterday evening when Judd picked you up from your dad’s.

Connie raised a hand to her face and pinched the bridge of her nose. ‘Oh sweet child..’  She muttered, studying your sister from over your shoulder.

Jessi took a step back, startled, when instead of her crush she came face to face with you in pyjama shorts and one of Judd’s shirts. You bend over a little, to be more on level with her. “What are you doing here? Do you need a lift home, or something?” 

She gaped at you, clearly losing track of whatever she was going to say. You watched, a bit concerned, as gears turned in her head. Then, you felt something, someone, else at your side. You wrinkled your nose as Judd came up besides you— his sweaty palm enclosing around your waist as he pulled you to him. 

You wanted to comment on it— tell him to shower before he got his sweat all over you, but he beat you to it; “Hey Y/n’s sister Jessi.” He grumbled, granting the tween a downwards glance. 

Jessi looked positively constipated, and also a bit like she was going to puke. You freed yourself from Judd— dropping to your knees and gently holding Jessi’s shoulder. “Jessi-bear, are you sick?” 

Connie followed you closely again, this time appearing behind your sister, clutching her closely and spreading a palm over her forehead to feel her temperature. ‘She’s down with a baaad case of Judd fever!’ The monster exclaimed, slightly shaking Jessi, whose blush had now risen from her neck all the way to her ears— colouring her face completely red. 

You sighed as your sister seemed to boot up again from her temporary lockdown. She quickly stepped back from you, and you realised she was holding something behind her hands. Connie noticed it too; ‘Aw Jessi.. So cute, but sad. Very, very sad. Actually kinda pathetic, you better let her down easy, Y/n, sugar.’ 

“I am not Jessi-bear! And I’m not sick! Just.. Just regular, old, fun, Jessi..” She waved you off, and you stood back up— slightly surprised by her outburst.

You tried, and failed, to hide your grin. Apparently, Judd thought your sister's awkward demeanour was funny as well. “Okay, regular, old, fun Jessi. What do you want?” He said, raising a brow at the flustered tween. 

She swallowed thickly, and you fixed Judd a glance that meant ‘don’t be mean’. He retaliated by shrugging and wrapping his arm around you again. Jessi’s blush somehow grew more vivid— she looked a bit like a cat on edge as she dared a glance up at your boyfriend. 

“I was just, y’know, strolling by–” Connie clasped a large paw over her mouth, shaking her again. ‘–Stop talking, baby! Stop talking!’ She howled, though Jessi didn’t seem to hear or even feel her. 

“This hallway has such interesting architecture, did you notice that?” She finished off, fiddling with whatever she had behind her back and making a point of staring at the ceiling instead of Judd. Your boyfriend in question only grunted, keeping his intense glare on Jessi. 

Sighing, you said; “It doesn’t. It’s a hallway. Look, if you need a lift home I’ll be ready in fifteen minutes, but shouldn’t you hang out with your friends or something instead? I’m sure Nick is looking for you,” You hinted, but all you got from Jessi was a vivid glare. 

“Yeah. Actually, you’re right. I was just dropping by, but I’m actually really, really busy, so..” She shifted on her feet, turning to leave and accidentally exposing you to the thing she had been holding. 

Judd’s eyebrows drew closer together, in a full on scowl. “Is that my shirt?”

You snorted. “Oh my god!” You stared at your sister in bewilderment, trying to decide whether it was funny, gross or awkward beyond belief; You settled on a good mix of both.

Immediately, the garment slipped from Jessi’s hands and she paled. “I-I-I found it like this! I just wanted to return it!” She could have puked, breathing speeding up as she fought off the hyperventilation and stared at the two of you with a horrified look that meant you had definitely caught her red-handed. 

“Are you stealing Judd’s shirts? I knew I had a bunch of them, did you seriously take them?” You asked, now mortified. Judd let out a series of low, cackling laughs as you watched your sister tear up. She opened and closed her mouth, fighting to say something but ultimately gave up— running off down the hall as you watched her retreating form with bewilderment. 

You’ve reached the bottom🧍🏻‍♀️thank you for reading this far, haha, I hope you enjoyed it. The last one was heavily inspired by that scene in the new season were Jessie walk in on Judd and his girlfriend(?), I just saw that and needed to write something similar

I’m now on my winter break, and I’ve got a lots of idea for Judd content for y’all this week so look out for that!

With this story, I literally need to add this meme; reblogged to me by @raccoon66

Thank you so much lol, it’s literally the best thing ever 🙏🙏

Tags: @dlfvrr , @bxbyyyjocelyn

[enjoythesilentworld]

Simon's Month - (Cat)Fish

day 19!! @youngroyals-events

Simon tries to convince a man on a dating app that, yes, that is his actual face in those pictures.

read below or on ao3 (T, 500)

You got a match! 

Wille liked your photo!

Wille sent a message!

_____________________

Wille: If you’re gonna use fake pictures you might as well make them believable…

Simon: im sorry what?

W: I’m just saying, it’s pretty obvious you’re a catfish. Those pictures are not real.

S: um yes they are? that's literally my face

W: Nice try! No one actually looks like that. Way too perfect.

S: is this some kind of weird pickup line because im not sure you’re executing it properly

W: No? What do you mean? Clearly those are photoshopped or something. Who has skin that smooth looking? Or eyes that beautiful shade of brown?

S: literally i do

W: Seriously, where did you find these? Did you edit them yourself?

S: did you get dropped on your head as a child or something

W: … I mean, probably. But that doesn’t matter here. I know an edit when I see one.

S: clearly you dont because that is my face thank you for the compliment, i guess???

W: You’re welcome for complimenting your editing skills. But I still don’t believe you.

S: ok now im convinced this is some weird plot toget me to send like nudes or something

W: Oh my gosh, no! I’m not even on here for that! I’m too much of a romantic for hook-ups. We’d have to go on at least a few dates first.  And I would only ever ask if I knew you wanted to.  To send pictures.  Naked ones. And only you felt safe doing so. But I think in person is better anyway.

S: okay…

W: Sorry if that was weird. I keep staring at the pictures and they’re making it hard for my brain to work.

S: hard huh?

W: Ha. Ha.

S: i guess that’s kinda sweet i’m not much into hook-ups either

W: Oh. That's cool. But, seriously, where did you find these pictures?

S: i remind you. that is me im starting to question your sanity Wille

W: Sure, Simon. You just walk around like that all day and somehow you’re still single and on a dating app. Sure, very believable, *catfish*! 

S: omfg i do have pet fish but im not a catfish you're one to talk no ones hair is that color also there is no way u have a perfect little freckle on ur top lip or do you put that there with makeup

W: What?? Me?? No, it’s not makeup! I am just Swedish! I get freckles in the sun!

S: suuuure

W: Don’t turn this around on me, Simon.  Except, wait, do you really have pet fish?

S: yes, i do

W: Can I see them? 

S: [Image attached]

W: Beautiful!  What are their names? 

S: idk if i can trust you with their names you think i’m a liar

W: :( Simon

S: :( Wille

W:

You can trust me.  It’s justified, I think, that I don’t believe you.

S: [Image attached] literally me [Image attached] me with fish for proof i cant believe your awful rizz is working on me … Wille? here i’ll write out a little note for you so you know its actually me [Image attached]

W: ‘.,;-=p./ ?um I-m her e SOrry I was.. You are real? 

S: lol i am real

W: When are you free?

S: huh?

W: I would like to take you on a date, Simon To apologize for calling you a catfish But also because you are funny and pretty, and I need to see you in person just to be totally sure that you’re actually real. 

S: hm i guess i’d be okay with that i wanna know what that freckle on your lip tastes like

W: asdnasfwaogjfan

S: their names are oski, olle, and felle, btw are you free tonight?

[pinkiemachine]

GOTHAM FILES: SEASON 3

Okay, so from here on out, things may get a little more bare bones, as i haven’t put quite as much detail into the next few seasons…

After season 2 comes JUSTICE LEAGUE: HEROES RISING, and is immediately followed by THE MIGHTY TEEN TITANS. (I have the first two seasons for that show outlined, and in it we start to see Dick begin to want to spread his wings a little more.) Then after all of that, we get Gotham Season 3. We begin with a small time skip. Dick is now 17, he’s more than ready to get out of Bruce’s shadow, they’re fighting more often, they’re not as in sync as they used to be, especially as the premier is all about Bane, the man who breaks Bruce’s back and nearly kills Dick. Bruce almost relives his greatest nightmare and he can’t bring himself to allow that to happen again. They manage to team up and together they defeat him, but it was an exceptionally close call for everyone. These past few years, Bruce has been learning to actively be there for someone else. Dick NEEDED him to be there for him, personally, and Bruce had gotten so used to just tuning people out that it was hard for him to actively be a part of someone’s life like that. Now, though, he’s beginning to relapse a little. Dick’s almost an adult and can take care of himself. He feels like now’s a good time to start pushing him away and going back to a solitary oyster. Dick doesn’t take this very well, but he’s also glad to have an excuse to strike out on his own, so… oh well. He’s off to become Nightwing and work full time with the Titans.

While he’s away, Bruce spends a few days completely alone. We check in on how things are going with Catwoman, and the two of them are still kinda flirty and beating around the bush, but neither one of them feels like they’re in a place to really make a move, you know? They still got issues.

THEN who should appear in crime alley… but a young teenager named Jason Todd. He’s trying to steal the Batmobile’s tires. Batman confronts him, but he’s not scared. In fact, he actually tries to attack Bruce with a tire iron. Kid had guts! So much so that he actually gets Bruce to laugh. But seriously, he does need to set this kid straight, he can’t be going around jacking people’s tires. Jason can’t exactly go home to his parents, though. He doesn’t have either. He’s alone, living on the street, hanging with some bad people. His dad was never around from the start, and his mom was… in a bad place. Literally and mentally. Now she was gone too. So, Bruce tries to get Jason set up in the foster care system, but… yeah, in Gotham, that’s not much better. He finds him back out on the streets a short while later. And this time, instead of stealing the tires, Jason tries to stow away in the Batmobile to get inside the infamous Bat-Cave. Okay, now Bruce needs to put a stop to this. At first, he only intends to bring him back to the cave as a means of scaring him straight, but the longer he hangs around, the more Bruce is kinda actually growing fond of him. When he wasn’t acting like a total punk, he could be very funny and charismatic. And again, the kid had no where else to go, so… despite the fact that Bruce said he wouldn’t have another kid… he lets Jason stay a while… which turns into forever, because Bruce signs the papers and Jason is legally under his care now—what? Bruce doesn’t know what just happened. Anyway, Jason is here now and for him, adjusting to the Manor is a much bigger deal than is was for Dick. He shows up with all of his belongings filling up one plastic bag and his first night, he feels like he can’t even sleep in the fancy bed. He’s more comfortable just laying on the floor. He was really put off by the whole “fancy Manor life” thing, but now that he’s here, he starts to become really appreciative and almost never asks for very much. He’s also beyond excited to head back to school. He dropped out when he was, like, twelve. He was a good student and eager to learn. He liked learning. Nearly laughed in Bruce’s face when he showed him the Gotham Academy uniform, though. Anyway, his journey to becoming Robin started when he was just down in the Cave one night, using some of the workout equipment. Bruce suddenly found himself giving pointers and before long they were training together and the next thing he knew, Jason was asking if he could wear the Robin mask. Bruce is naturally very hesitant… but then, behind his back, Dick shows up and takes Jason, as Robin, out for a night on the town. He definitely thinks Jason’s got what it takes. He’s a tough fighter. And Bruce could use the company/backup. Bruce still doesn’t think it’s a great idea, but he allows it.

This is also the season when they adopt Ace, the German Shepherd, aka Bat Hound! Jason finds him and smuggles him home one night, and Alfred discovers him immediately, then Jason begs Bruce to let him stay. Says that he can come along on missions too, be extra backup. Bruce initially doesn’t bite, but… the dog does make Jason happy… fiiiiiiine the dog can stay. (He and Ace end up becoming real good friends, lol.)

Later, we tackle the Arkham Asylum storyline, there’s more villains introduced, more appearances of old favourites, Batgirl shows up, Nightwing shows up, AND THEN…

Tragedy.

Joker has Jason’s mom in the season finale. Acting impulsively, Jason goes alone to save her… and ends up failing. Joker captures him, brutally tortures him, but Jason refuses to give up. He’ll never stop fighting. In the end, he manages to break free and get his mom to safety, but he can’t stop the rest of Joker’s evil scheme in time. Before Bruce and the others can show up to save him, a bomb explodes in the warehouse where Jason was held prisoner… Bruce finds his body in the rubble. Jason is dead.

His worst nightmare has come true again.

Thus marks the beginning of a very dark time in Bruce’s life.

Part 4 👇

Part 2 👇

[rottindecay]

Hobie Brown Headcannons!

just some silly stuff ! >__<

warnings: i believe none.

[this is my first time ever posting smth like this..hopefully it’s good enough.]

*Reblogs, notes n comments r much appreciated >O<!*

Starting off strong- this man definitely craves physical touch. Like have you SEEN him with the anarch-kids?

He cant live with out ur touch like seriously, it would drive this man insane.

You love your personal space? He loves yours too.

Especially out in public. This guy will have a finger around one of your belt loops/belt, holding onto your bag or hand, even has his arm snaked around your waist or shoulder. He needs your touch!!

he loves to cuddle. More of a big spoon kinda guy because he finds it funny how his body just completely takes over yours, ykwim? (If ur shorter than him ofc)

but won’t mind being little spoon fr. Loves to have his head laying on your chest as you guys sleep in each others arms.

Speaking of sleeping- he’s a really heavy sleeper.

when he sleeps he’s sprawled all over the bed so good luck trying to wake him up to give you room.

When you do try to move him, he dosent move or make room for you LMAO

he just groans before pulling you into his embrace and resting his chin on your head fast asleep with his arm around your waist.

He’s an ass lover.

Wearing shorts around the house? He’s telling you you look good in them. Bending over to pick something up? He’s playfully slapping ur ass and snickering as he does so.

Like- if your on youre phone or reading a book or whatever and your laying on your stomach, he’s gunna come over and lay his head on ur ass like a pillow and take a nap or do smth on his phone.

Same with thighs fr

When you guys are out walking around or doing something and you have back pockets, expect his hand in your pocket.

Because he could keep you close and get to feel your ass. Win win in his book!

He loves ur ass!!!!!!

He adores little trinkets.

He has them all over his house

Like the first time you walked into his house, you just saw a lot of bowls laying around in places like in his room, kitchen, living room ext with just small little knickknacks he found or bought (stole)

Loves to receive and gift them to people hes close with.

He’s like a crow honestly.

90% of the time when you guys are hugging, he would go limp out of nowhere and now here you are trying to hold up a 6’5 180 lbs guy as he’s chuckling his ass off.

Puts his arm on your shoulder or head like an armrest.

Never calls u by ur first name. always has some nickname for you like “darling” (since he’s a Brit n all) or a nickname that connects to an embarrassing moment of urs LMFAO

He’s stupidly smart but dosent put effort in it ykwim?

Same goes for cleaning like yeah he could clean it, but why would he? He knows where everything is so it’s fine.

Also loves to hug u from behind and burry his face into your neck.

Also neck kissed Are his favorite thing like cmon now.

Honestly dosent care What pronoun you use. You could call him ball/ballself and he would look over at you without batting an eye to that.

Knows how to sing, just dosent do it. But if u ask nicely he would as he strums his guitar professionally!

He snores and drools everytime he sleeps.

Also luvs to do and wash ur hair for u.

Hobie has ADHD idc argue with the wall.

If ur ever doing chores around the house he’s 100% always going to help you with whatever your doing even if it’s something as simple as sweeping the floors. He dosent want you to think your juggling to many responsibilities.

Typa guy to know a guy. He knows a lot of people.

All his fingers are decorated with rings. Once you guys start to actually get serious he would give you one of his favorite rings since he dosent believe in marriage.

It’s nothing too big though, it’s just a simple silver band that’s obviously been shown some love throughout the years.

Dosent really label your guys relationship. Why would he need to box you in like that? It’s stupid. He knows he can trust you and you can trust him so there’s no need to be calling each other “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”

Makes playlists for you and burns them into CD’s

We all know he’s alr stupidly smart, yeah? Well he was the kinda kid to always be sleeping in class, not do any work and fail it even though he was the smartest mf there.

Also hated to do homework so he didn’t do it. Who was gunna stop him? NOBODY.

Also sucks at spelling tbh

Like he dosent care abt it. “Apple” is now “aple.”

Loves to DIY stuff like clothes, pins, patches, jewelry n much more!

He’s punk so he obviously listens to punk music, but he also listens to more than that. He hates consistency !!

I think he would be a really good cook he just won’t put effort in exploring that part of him LMAO

he obviously has really good sense of style. I think a lot of people forget he was FORMALLY A RUNWAY MODEL. HELLOOOO???

So if he sees shitty quality clothes, hes gunna point it out to you and suggest something else.

When being taken out on dates he dosent really do anything fancy, not his style yk?

But he does take you out on the most amazing places only a few know.

Shows you the coolest pubs hidden in alleyways, site seeing, walking around London in his dimension and just little fun activities.

(maybe even steal from big corporations too.)

[kitthepurplepotato]

Chapter 2 - Smile for me, Red.

Summary: Kirishima comes to collect his usual coffee with a worn down, fake smile on his face. Y/N’s having none of it.

I know I said the next chapter will come in two weeks, but you guys sent me so much love I can’t help but post another one. The next one will be late, though!

Warnings: Swear words

First Chapter Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

“Did you just come in through window?” You deadpan as your himbo of an uncle sneaks in through the manager’s office window, ten minutes late.

“Didn’t want people to see me.” The old man sighs as the plops down on the nearest chair.

“You shouldn’t have put your signature on the wall then.” You raise your brows and your manager nods approvingly. “Also, Red Riot works next door. He won’t be much of a help to the society if he dies in a heart failure after seeing you sneaking around their private parking spot.”

“How did the boy like the present, Y/N?” Crimson Riot winks, his hair just as obnoxious and spiky as always; okay you have no right to say anything about his hair as your own is the same color, but still, those spikes might have worked when he was 30, but they aren’t working now. “I can’t believe my little girl finally met her crush. Do you remember, when…” Your uncle is about to start reminiscing but you ain’t having any of that.

“This is a work meeting, Uncle. I know you hate talking about numbers but you are the fucking owner so shut up and listen to my manager.” You sigh, already knowing he’ll try to change the topic again as soon as the meeting actually starts.

Okay, so here’s the deal: your uncle is like a second dad to you. Why? Because your mom and dad are both businessmen and they travel around a lot which made your retired uncle your almost full time babysitter after you grew up enough to be able to move around and exist without choking on air. Your parents love you, you know that but they live for their jobs.

Watching the school festival in the TV was one of your favorite things to do with your uncle; he adores seeing the young heroes challenging each other without the putrid smell of death lurking around the corner; being a hero can be quite fun when you are still in school but the real deal is nothing like the silly little work studies; it’s gruesome and cruel, full of blood and loss, but watching these young students fight so seriously for nothing but a gold medal kinda makes you forget about all of the dark side for a second and just enjoy the show.

You were around fourteen or fifteen when the young, sturdy hero wannabe appeared on the screen for the first time; his passion and positive attitude caught both of your eyes right away and it didn’t take long before the word went around about the boy being a massive Crimson Riot fan so needless to say, you two spent most of your time searching the internet for more information about the young boy and eventually, this became a family tradition every time you had to spend the night at your uncle’s house. First, it was only tiny articles you could find, but eventually as he got older there were full interviews available for you to watch with your uncle after a shitty day at work. You don’t come by his house that often anymore, but when you do, Red Riot always comes up. The story your uncle was about to tell is probably about you having an absolute crush on the boy when you first saw him on the screen; you remember getting really flustered by his adorable smile, shark teeth and all. Crimson Riot always liked to joke about how funny it would be to have Red Riot join your little family and you always yelled and laughed at your silly uncle for being ridiculous, but seeing him in really life really made you question if your uncle secretly wanted you two to meet and make your dreams a reality, hence why the cafe ended up to be so close to their agency.

Also, it’s not like you actually had a crush on him; maybe when you were 15 you really did crush on the boy but now you are 25 and definitely way past the celebrity crush phase; you two kept up your tradition and watched his interviews every week, but it was more of a habit than anything else.

The meeting doesn’t take long; your manager mumbles out a bunch of numbers then after one look at your uncle’s confused face she realizes that “the big boss” did not check his e-mails this week so she tells him that the business is going well and that’s enough for him to leave your manager alone for another week or so. He doesn’t really care about the money anyway; having a cafe was on his bucket list so he made it happen and he really doesn’t give a fuck about the rest until he’s not actually loosing money on it. This whole meeting isn’t really necessary to be honest but it’s a way for him to feel included; he doesn’t want anyone to know his connection to the cafe so he can’t really lurk around during opening hours. It’s quite silly as the name of the coffee shop literally has his name in it, but to be fair, he’s been retired for a decade, no one really gives enough fucks to put one and two together. Except Red Riot, but he’s too busy being an excited golden retriever to question how did you manage to get him a signature so soon.

“Okay, it’s almost opening time, let’s get shit done.” You sigh, not ready for another 12 hour shift.

Why do you work so much? The answer is really easy; you have nothing else to do. Yes, quite sad. Now let’s move on.

“Language!” Your manager reprimands but you only roll your eyes at that; you’ll never understand why are people so obsessed with swear words. They are just words. They are completely harmless.

Red Riot appears a few minutes after the doors open; he doesn’t jump around this time, doesn’t even look at his favorite poster, just comes straight to the counter with the fakest smile on his tired, but handsome face.

Oh no.

First of all, Red Riot being sad? That’s unacceptable. That guy is a ray of sunshine all the time, you swear you can see a trail of rainbow coming out of his gorgeous and juicy ass as he skips towards his agency every day.

Second of all, how dare he look so fucking handsome even with those massive Gucci bags under his eyes? How dare he make you feel like you need to smush his face between your boobs until he gives you that typical shark-smile you adore so much?

Oh man, you are so gone. So fucking gone and the man in front of you has no fucking idea about it.

“Can I have my usual, please?”

“No.” Red Riot looks gobsmacked. He’s clearly not in the mood for teasing but he schools his face anyway; he tries to laugh it off, he really tries, but he can’t hide the sadness in his eyes. “Not until you tell me who made my favorite customer look so miserable. I need to start plotting a murder here, fella.” You mumble to him in a baby voice. Your upper body is basically laying on the counter at this point; you try to get as close to the red haired hero as humanly possible without being too obvious. Well, this is already extremely obvious but you have a feeling you could kiss this man on the mouth and he would still think you are just being friendly. Silly boy.

“You can’t murder something that doesn’t exist, Y/N.” He tries to smile again and fails miserably.

“It’s all in your head, isn’t it?” You mumble to yourself, but he jumps into your sentence.

“No, I mean there is no problem, I don’t know what you are talking about! Can I have my coffee? Please?” The redhead begs, but you can’t let this go. This man won’t leave this shop until he gives you a real smile.

“There is a lot of things I hate you know, but what I hate the most is when someone I care about lies into my face.” You retort angrily. “But I will give you another chance to redeem yourself by asking this: what can a poor little barista do for you to make that smile on your face a real one?” You can’t help it; your hand reaches out to the two sides of his lips and you push the skin up to force him to “smile”. His cheeks redden from the sudden closeness and it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. “I’m a good listener, you know. I also give good advice. This is also the perfect opportunity for you to say that a date with me would cheer you up. I’m just saying!” You finally let him go. Damn, thank god for your poker face because deep inside, you are absolutely freaking out about how close you were to him just a second ago. He smelled so fucking nice, quite strong but there is a hint of sweetness to it which you absolutely love.

“I… I think… that… maybe…” The man stutters adorably, his whole face as red as a lobster. “I just need a …hug? I might cry a bit though. I feel a bit lonely today plus I had a nightmare and…” You don’t wait for him to finish his sentence. You jump right through the stupid counter; you did get some training from your uncle so you are more than capable to do all kind of tricks like that; then run right into the stupidly tall man’s arms.

First, he just stands in one place, his arms hanging by his sides as you cuddle into his humongous chest; then slowly, he lets the facade crumble. There are tiny sniffles coming from the redhead as he finally puts his arms around you; the hug is tight, almost suffocating, but fuck if it doesn’t feel amazing. You are not sure if it’s him who needed that or it was just you.

“Stop being so nice to me, I’ll fall in love with you.” He mumbles into your ears; you can feel the goosebumps going down your spine from his husky voice.

“Stop lying to yourself, Red, you are already in love with me.” You giggle as you leave a cheeky kiss on the man’s chin to make sure he has something else to think about today.

“Guilty as charged.” Red Riot’s signature grin is finally back and damn if it doesn’t hit differently from this angle. Your heart has a really hard time with the fact that he didn’t even try to deny his crush on you.

“Go to work, Red.” You smile at the hero and make your way back to finally make his coffee. “On the house.” You give him his latte, but not before you leave a tiny kiss on the redheads cheek. “And this too.” You smile at him fondly.

“Amazing customer service. 10/10. Tell your manager to give you a raise. Or something. Yeah. Uhm. Bye.”

You’ll never forget his manic grin as he ran out of the door and went the wrong way by accident. He almost head butted a pole as well.

Fucking hell, you absolutely adore this man.

Is it a crush? Is it love? Or is it just fondness? You have no idea. One thing for sure; you can’t wait to meet him again tomorrow.

~•🪨•~

Kirishima is in pieces.

He got a hug from his favorite barista. And a kiss. On his chin. And his cheeks… fuck, that’s two whole kisses. Not one, but two. And a hug.

Did he say, he got two whole kisses today?

Oh. He did.

Well, he will say it again.

Kirishima Eijirou just got a kiss from the most amazing girl in the whole city.

Who did?

He did.

“Wake the fuck up, Eijirou!” Katsuki yells into his face, the violent action topped up with a not-too-sneaky explosion attack, but even that’s not enough for him to completely get out of it; he stares at the lovely coffee in his hands, caramel latte with extra whip cream and chocolate shreds.

You know who made this coffee for him? The girl who kissed him. She did. Kiss him. On the cheek. And on his chin. Two kisses. Two.

Ahh, what a day to be a guy named Kirishima Eijirou.

What a day indeed.

“Katsuki, I think I’m having a fat ass crush.”

“Fucking marvelous, now can you give me the fucking agency stamp before I explode you through your asshole?” Katsuki sighs.

Kirishima is so proud of his bro. He’s been through a lot this year; he’s lost his assistant (no, she’s not dead, just pregnant. No, not from Katsuki, you cheeky bastard.) then got a new one he fell in love with, then he almost lost that person due to a quirk accident. Oh, and he almost died due to a quirk called “anguish” that makes you relive your worst nightmares until you give up and decide death is much better than the suffering that comes with it.

If that’s not enough, Katsuki’s feelings were reciprocated and Katsuki is basically a married man now who wakes up early every day to pack two bentos for his fiancé and himself, sometimes three when he feels generous towards his best bro. Katsuki is still his own, explosive self, don’t get Kirishima wrong; but he’s also much more emotional, much more patient when it comes to Kirishima’s silly flaws. He loved the old Katsuki just as much as he loves this one but he does feel like they’ve got much closer since Katsuki managed to open up to the world a bit more. He’s so proud of his best buddy.

“Sorry, bro.” Kirishima smiles at his best bud with nothing but fondness. Katsuki only rolls his eyes.

“So… how is she? Or he. Or whatever. They. Dunno.” He mutters and Kirishima perks up right away; his bestie is so open-minded, goddamit!

“She’s beautiful and kind. She smells really nice. She teases me all the time and doesn’t even see me as a man I think, but every single moment with her feels like a gift.”

Katsuki doesn’t say anything first, he just looks at Kirishima, searching for something; Kirishima has no idea what he’s looking for.

“You know there is one thing I realized since I… uhm. Fell in love or whatever…”

“Yeah?”

“No one will be able to love you if you can’t even love yourself.” Katsuki retorts with his ears tinted red. “So work on that before you do anything stupid.”

Hm. Love yourself. Kirishima can do a lot of things, but self-love ain’t one of them. Self-hatred? Kirishima is secretly a pro at that. Self-pity? He’s number one at that as well.

But self-love? Zero points.

He has a long way to go before he can ask the girl of his dreams on a date then.

… Next Chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- Wow, this chapter was so short! Sorry about that! The chapters will get longer as the story develops by the way, so don’t worry :D

- Thank you so much for all the love on the first chapter, I couldn’t fucking believe it, to be honest. I literally thought no one will respond to it, yet it got hundred likes in less than a week. Thank you so much, you actually made me tear up. I hope you will like this story until the end! 💜

TL (how is this so long already, I love you guys so much, honestly!): @porusuniverse @sixxze @unofficialmuilover @cheesenmax @readingfan @sammmm29 @pwinglez1 @happydragonfrog @magicalhandsherringclam @lovingnightharmony @theequeenofcurses @kirishima-eijirock @nerinefy

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Here's a silly idea if you wanna try it, no pressure!

How do you think the bachelor's/bachelorette's world react to the Farmer casually mentioning a blue man who leaves notes for them around town as challenges who also keeps cameras around town to watch them?

They do not elaborate, the Farmer just moves on like they talked about the birds lmaooo

Oh, man. I found the idea itself so funny that inspiration immediately kicked my ass 🤣 There's already been more than one mention for Qi and about his weird obsession with Farmer, strange quests and, God forgive me, about "snake milk"... Sheesh 😅

Thank you so much for the ask! ☺️ (hope I translated this correctly. Or feel free to ask again!)

SDV bachelors/ettes react to Farmer, who casually mentioned Mr. Qi:

_________________________________________

"You gotta drink less so you don't see shit." It's unusual to hear Shane say that, but even he doesn't remember drinking so much that he saw some hallucinations like "blue men". He'd let Farmer's words pass his ears and now was beginning to wonder if he should let his dear niece near that weirdo. Challenges, cameras everywhere... yeah sure.

The doctor's instincts hit right away and Harvey will run after Farmer to see if they have a fever. Cameras in the whole Stardew Valley? Dangerous quests in Calico Dessert? Sorry Farmer, but Harvey won't believe it and will insist they go to the clinic for a check up, or at least rest at home. You can’t ignore rest, you know, because it affects both physical and mental health...

"So I'm not the only one who noticed it." Wait, what? How does Sebastian know? "Found a weird note with your name on it when I was in the mines." Hold on, what was a local emo doing in the mines? And why is his arm in bandages? "Hm, let't change the subject, we were talking about blue stranger, weren't we?" Wait a minute, Seb!

Alex probably won't even listen to what the Farmer is saying. "Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever you say, weirdo." The athlete may not be a genius, but even he can realize that there's no benefit to anyone putting cameras in Pelican Town for, like, what? Fun or whatever? To keep tabs on Farmer? That's stupid. Don't be stupid, Farmer.

"Wait, seriously? Yo, no kidding." With a lifestyle like Farmer's, Sam immediately believed in their words even without the details. However, the interest and desire to organize a quest with his friends to find the "secrets of the Valley" quickly faded away as the skateboarder's stomach rumbled. He would just forget the whole thing later.

Honestly, Elliott is completely confused. How should he react to what his friend Farmer has just said? The writer thinks it's complete nonsense, but because of his manners and his unwillingness to be confrontational or rude, Elliott will simply try to change the subject.

"Absurd", Abigail thought, but somehow the Farmer's words stuck in her mind. Considering that the purple-haired girl was just looking for an excuse to procrastinate duties, her ass began her own adventure of finding cameras. And she found one right away! And a strange note from someone named "Qi"! Wtf, hey Farmer, tell again about that weird blue dude!

"Ok, let's think: why would someone follow you around 24/7 and give you weird tasks?" For some reason, Maru was very much interested in Farmer's casually thrown words, trying to make sense of them. It's unclear, really, where this interest comes from, but maybe the young inventor wants to spend more time with Farmer. Even if the conversation is kinda strange.

Penny did her best to keep her smile from looking too forced. Wishing to remain polite and not to be rude, the red-haired teacher simply thanked Farmer for the conversation and went about her business, trying not to think too much about their words.

"The blue man? Oh, has Clint been drinking that Joja soda again?" No, Emily, that wasn't Clint, and he only turned blue once (and that was probably from worry, not from Joja cola). She would have forgotten about Farmer's words, but she also could swear that Sandy had once mentioned a similar person paying the rent in Oasis. Hmm, maybe Emily should ask again...

When Farmer told Haley about the strange blue man and other oddities, the blonde paused and wondered: if she should really have even listened to the words of a person who just a couple days ago had been rummaging through trash cans and eating raw seaweed? The answer was obvious, and Haley forgot about it as a misunderstanding.

Leah only shakes her head. "Whatever you say, Farmer." She doesn't want to be rude to them, but all this talk of cameras, dangerous quests, and a mysterious man hasn't impressed her one bit. If Farmer keeps this up - they'll always be considered a weirdo.

[lover-of-mine]

the whole ‘why is he here’ thing is 95% of the reason i don’t understand where tf BT shippers are getting all of this from. ‘tommy’s so kind to buck’ ‘they’re so smitten’ ‘they’re made for eachother’ ‘buck’s so happy with tommy’. okay, but where?? show me in canon, read me dialogue, point out specific scenes, SHOW ME exactly where the show had told or shown you that these things are true. and they can’t! because there has been nothing on screen to suggest this, no development, no certainty about their relationship, no discussion about their relationship at all actually, no emotional connection… sure buck is smiling and happy but it’s not like buck has never smiled or never been happy before? ‘buck’s grinning!’ that’s literally how oliver smiles! he cheeses!! the show is giving absolutely nothing but then the shippers run with it and headcanon and make things up out of thin air and decide it’s canon fact to shove in people’s faces and delude themselves into believing they’re getting more than they are. either season 8 breaks them off and treats him as the fairly unimportant plot device for buck’s bisexuality realisation that they decided to keep around for a bit longer because he was getting them clicks and attention, despite the fact that they had no idea what to do with him… or it actually makes an effort to prove to us ‘why he is still here’. i know which option i’d prefer…. but my point still stands. sorry for the paragraph!

Don't apologize, I'm giving you a standing ovation. The whole Buck is happy, he's grinning thing if funny because he was like that with every girl before? He was grinning like that at Ali, he looked smitten by Taylor up until the point in 5a where they decided the relationship has been enough, everyone saw how he was smiling a Natalia at the coffee date or during 618, even the cemetery while talking about her and no one was screaming endgame even tho Natalia was played out to be his endgame in case of a cancellation. And the whole T is so kind to Buck, sure, the flirting can be cute in 704, BUT Buck is an unreliable narrator, so I kinda eye everything that happened there wondering how much is true and how much is Buck's rose colored glasses, but even in that scene, T was in no position to excuse Buck from hurting Eddie, and he actually asked Buck out after kissing him out of nowhere instead of running away like Taylor, but it's not like Taylor set a very high bar. Then maybe the way he tops Buck's beer on the date? But that gets overshadowed by the way he calls a car and leaves Buck on the curb, only communicating he's leaving when he's literally in the car, when he could've talked to Buck before? Also the closet joke to Eddie when he knew Buck wasn't out was ?????? And then we have the coffee that i still don't understand why any of that happened, because why would you agree to go to someone's sister's wedding after half a date you walked off? Then the party, if he was so great he would've dressed on theme????? He literally needs to change into a uniform because he shows up at the hospital in said uniform, so he could've put effort into his outfit. The way the hospital scene could've been cute if he had helped Buck clean his face or at least told Buck his face was dirty, and they could've walked in holding hands or something. The ceremony had nothing, Buck's hand was even in his pocket because there was nothing about that conversation to indicate they were more than friends. And the dinner in the loft had Buck being vulnerable, and the weirdest tone shift leading to a kink joke that feels very out of place given the circumstances. That's it. That's every scene. Tell me where are you seeing them being made for each other? I honestly feel like T comes out as callous and condescending every time he opens his mouth. I can't find anything to like about him or about him when it comes to Buck and I legit don't understand where the hype is coming. Like, seriously. The show gave me nothing. Let's see how the show handles him next season, I guess.

[rennorthernlights]

The World We Knew

Chapter 1: Radioheart, Chapter 2, Chapter 3,

Trigger warnings; Zombies, mentions of death, very brief mention of suicide in the very beginning.

You can also go to AO3 for RenNorthenLights. I post more on there than here. If you go to my AO3 than PLEASE look at the tags for this fic! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

——————————————————————————————

October-ish, 2023. Time??? Location???

It’s become almost routine now.

Waking up at the ass crack of dawn, checking her backpack, cleaning her rifle, making sure the ‘room’ she’s in is safe. Over a year ago she wouldn’t be up this early. Over a year ago she wouldn’t even be touching her fathers rifle without permission. But life has a funny way of throwing curve balls. In this sense, life threw a massive curve ball at everyone and everything. The world as she knew it become sick with disease— No, not COVID-19, though many speculated that it was the reason, the beginning of it all. No it was the dead-come-back-to-life-and eat-your-face kinda disease. Normally people bring up that type of disease in conversations with speculations on the “what if” scenarios of what they’d do.

Many of her college friends all had plans and ideas and yet most of them now roam the streets looking for the next person to chomp on. Ironic isn’t it? She never believed she’d live this long hell many times the conversation of “Quick a zombie apocalypse happens! What do you do?!” She’d laugh and says she’d die in the next month or two. To which her friends would moan and groan because surely “You wouldn’t give up so easily?? Come onnnn what would you actually do.” She’d think it over and before putting much thought, she said.

“I’d kill myself.” Her friends went silent before laughing at how serious she sounded and even she laughed. A good banter back and forth as her college friends sipped on cheap booze. “No, no, but in all seriousness. I’d stay with my parents. My dads a police Captain after all. He’s taught me how to shoot before I could write and my ma… well she’ll probably teach me something.” Snorting a chuckle since her moms a teacher. One of her friends asks what she’d do if her parents became zombies.

“Well I guess I’d try to find groups to stay in. What do y’all think? I guess I’d put up with y’all.” Nudging her friend playfully on the shoulder. Laughter in the room as the music starts playing and the cheep booze starts kicking in. As her friends dance and sing to “Only Girl in the World” by Rihanna she sits on the couch in deep thought. Her drink in hand as she thinks bout her life. Thinks about her finals coming up and how she’s gotta take all the tests to become a nurse. Both her parents were exceptionally happy that she didn’t follow in their footsteps.

“I love kids but please… do not become a teacher.” Her mother sounded so exhausted when they spoke early on the phone. “And don’t become a police officer!” Her father yells in the background. The running joke for every phone call even though her parents are well aware that she’s going to be a nurse. She’s been deadset on it since she was a kid. She doesn’t plan on telling her ma that she’s gonna try and apply to be the school nurse where her ma works. Sipping her booze some more as the apple news on her phone pings “Reports of a New Virus, Scientists say… ”

She huffs, reading the first couple of paragraphs before getting bored and exiting out of the article. “Probably another variant of COVID. Great another shot I’m gonna have to take.” Turning her phone off and chugging her drink before she starts dancing with her giggly and much too drunk friends.

————————————————————

Oh how life turned so fast and so quickly the following week. Nearly half of the friends in the room became the first percentages of “Turned” and the other half “Missing, have you seen them?” She barely made it out herself. But that’s life. Cruel and beautiful and so, so lonely in the world she now knows. She stays too long thinking about it and she’ll drown. She doesn’t want to think about her friends, her home, her… family. It’s still too much even after all this time. Even with it being well over a year it still hurts.

Shaking her head of those thoughts as she gets situated. Glad that she triple checked the ‘room’ she’s in. Her anxiety has been through the roof these last couple days and every lil noise is having her jump. At least she can put her mind at ease since she’s checked and barricaded the exit. A couple deads outside that she handled quickly. Who knew that she’s be so proficient with a bat and knife? She’s a good shot but before a to keep her rifle hidden. Not many bullets being made anyways..

She turns her radio on as she waits for it to come to life. For months she been speaking on it. Using it as a dairy of sorts, it helps her when she feels the loneliest. Helps when the days feel colder than what it typically does in Texas. She spoke and spoke until one day it started speaking back. The man on the radio commented how he’s been hearing her speak and at first, he and his group thought it was a hoax since they couldn’t get the radio to work. She didn’t speak on it for days, but the men would still speak back and call out to her.

Finally, she worked up the courage to speak back and from then on, they’ve become a part of her routine. Once a day around noon they’d speak. She has her rules, No names, no locations, no descriptions. She doesn’t want to get attached only to one day not hear them speak back again. She doesn’t need another name added to her list of grief. That, and as much as she wants to trust them, she knows that humans can be just as dangerous if not more so.

“Static, come in Static.” She grins as she sits in the office room that she’s been sleeping in. Stretching her legs as she’s never gotten used to the floors even after all this time. Her legs stiff as her other hand rubs her knee. The radio crinkles and scratches until finally.

“Must you keep calling me that?” The man speaks, the heavy Scottish accent shining through, and she can just tell he’s grinning. “I’ve told ya, mah name is Joh- “

“No,” she cuts him off as she clicks on the button. “No names. I don’t... I don’t want to hear it, please.” She’s told him before that she doesn’t want to hear his name. He’s been understanding but sometimes he’ll still try it... The thought that there is an actual person behind the radio scares her and intrigues her. Hearing someone even through all this mess makes it all bearable even if it’s just by a little bit. “Don’t make me ‘hang up’.” A lighthearted threat. She wouldn’t actually do that. She needs her daily talks with them.

“I know, Bonnie, I know,” the voice speaks with understanding. The man knows all too well on why it’s easier to stay nameless, easier to not be attached incase the voice one day doesn’t speak back. “But one day I would love ta hear my name from your pretty voice.” The voice chuckles, “Where are ya now?” A hopeful tinged to his voice.

“You know I don’t give locations, Static.” Singing back her words with a furrow of her brow. “But… I’m in an office building.”

“Ah, I see that’s become a fan favorite of yours.” A tease in the man’s voice. “Oh, it seems my friend wants to speak to ya.” Her eyes perk up as she knows who is about to speak.

“Electricity!” She smiles big and she just knows Static is rolling his eyes.

“Sunshine haven’t heard from you since, Static,” emphasizing the other man’s nickname and she can practically hear the glare. “has been hogging you.” Electricity, as she’s been calling him even though he’s also tried to get her to call him by his name, has a much softer voice. Calmer and levelheaded compared to Static who's more outgoing and louder. She’s called them the duo 1 and duo 2 before she called them Static and Electricity. Much to their annoyance and amusement, much better than her other idea of calling them Thing 1 and Thing 2.

“Well next time hit him or something.” She smiles as she can hear Static mouthing off something. Probably Static telling him where she’s been in for a bit. “In an office building again? That seems to be your usual, yeah?” The man speaks lowly. His words concerned and yet with the subtleness of memorizing something.

“Am I that predictable, Electricity? She stands up from where she was sitting. “Static said something similar.”

“Not predictable just doing what you always do, Sunshine.”

“That’s… That means I’m being predictable.” She teases as he stammers.

“No, no, I meant that you are more comfortable with what you know to be safe.”

“Soooo predictable with my safety?” She teases as she can hear him muttering “bollocks” like he always does when, she assumes, he is flustered. “I’m pulling your leg, Electricity. Just messing around and being a brat.”

He laughs and sighs in relief. His voice cool like the summer breeze after a rainy day. “So where are you?” His voice sounding slightly insistent.

“No where near you.” Rolling her eyes as they always ask the same questions everytime they talk. “Quit askin, I’m fine on my own. I don’t do groups and you know why.” She’s told them about her run in with the only group she’s been with. Handmaidens Tale meet zombie apocalypse and she barely got out.

“I know, I know, you’ve done well on your own, but a little help goes a long way, Sunny.” Sometimes she wishes she would hate the nicknames that they give her but it does give a warm fuzziness in her stomach whenever they say it. Sighing as she speaks back. “Oh yes because you’re military right?” A bit of sarcasm in her voice as this is one of her questions that she always asks.

“Taskforce 141, Special Operation Forces, you already know this, Lass.” The other man speaks making her jolt. Guess he was listening in when she was speaking to Electricity.

“Yeah, yeah, just making sure you’re not lying and trying to sound more badass than you both already do.” Remarking quickly as a light blush spread on her face. The way he’s speaking sounds deeper. Like she’s in trouble somehow and he’s going to correct her.

“We know, Sunshine, we know you just want to be safe. It’s hard to trust especially with the dead around.” Electricity’s speaks softly, the cool to Static’s heat, “But to say it again; Joh— I mean, Static, is a Sergeant and I am also a Sergeant. Static is an expert in demolitions and trained as a sniper. I myself am an expert with prime target eliminations and covert surveillance.” He says it so sincerely and she has half a mind to believe him.

“And why are you all the way in Texas then?” They’ve told her how they moved up here and she knows the reason, but she wants them to say it again.

“We received word that a base, Fort Sam Houston, was working on a cure for the zombie virus. The BAMC is a hospital within that fort that was conducting research.” Electricity sites off the very thing that they’ve repeated for the last month.

“And?” She makes a go on motion that they can’t see but she knows that they can imagine that’s what she’s doing.

“But when we got there it was already over run and Kyl— I mean Electricity almost got killed in the process.” Static says, he sounds upset. “We’ve been over this, Lass. We tell you about the same things over and over again.” A hushed murmur from Electricity is heard and she starts feels bad.

“I know… I’m sorry, I just...” she starts off as she tries to not sound upset. “I just want to make sure that I can trust you. Last time I did...”

“Handmaidens tale, you’ve told us about it. The leader, Abraham, is a far-right Christian, yes?” Static says the man’s name and she shivers as she gives a tiny yes in reply. “He tried to keep you. To force you to stay with his group and be treated as a... how did you say it?”

“A breading cow.”

“Yes, that,” he sighs deeply on the radio, and she wonders what he and Electricity looks like. Wonders if they are as comforting as their warm voices. Wonders if they have beards or stubbles but her self-imposed rules keep her from asking. “I know it’s a lot, learnin ta trust when it's hard to. We’ve promised since the beginnin ta be honest and if I ever see him.” The threat is laced in his voice but he clears his throat. “Enough of that. We are finally moving to Houston. We acquired a car. A Jeep to be more precise. Any chance we’ll be near ya?”

“You might be…” she says softly as she bites her tongue. The urge to let them come to her gets harder and harder to say no to everyday they speak. “I don’t give locations, Static.”

“I know but can’t blame a man for trying. Oh?” She can hear his eyebrows furrowing as voices in the background speak. They’ve told her that they are a group of 4 in total. She’s never heard the other 2 speak but she can sometimes hear them… they sound funny. “It seems we have to cut this shorter, Bonnie.”

“We’ll speak again tomorrow, Sunshine, we promise.” The other man promises, and she knows they will. They’ve never broken a promise. Never did more than what they couldn’t do from the month that they’ve talked.

“I’ll see you both tomorrow and please,” she stresses the word as she hopes and prays that one day they can meet. That she’ll be brave enough to let them in and find her. “Please be safe. Please don’t get hurt, okay? I’ll metaphorically hit you, I swear I will.”

“Always, Bonnie, we will always be safe. Take care and check corners and windows. Make sure you can quickly get’n and out. Don’t go’n if your gut tells ya not to.” Static says, listing off his advice like he would to a fresh-faced recruit. “Don’t play fair and don’t play kind. Everyone’s an enemy until proven otherwise.” He waits a couple seconds before he passes it to the other man.

“Make sure to pack light and that you can easily grasp your weapon.” Electricity warns. A deep sigh from him before he speaks, “And if you ever… if you ever need help, just... please just tell us. We’ll do whatever we can to come for you, okay?” He waits and waits for her to speak but when she doesn’t, he sighs. He waits another minute and then the radio turns to static signaling the end of their conversation.

“I know,” she says softly as she hears the static of the radio. “Be safe, please be safe.” She murmurs the bits of name that she has overheard them say. Going against her own rules of not saying their names even though she knows it’s half of what their names are. She’s gotten too attached and now… now she’s worried. Worried for men she’s never met and probably never will.

“One can dream,” she rolls her shoulders and bends to stretch. Her stomach growling as she knows it’s about time to eat. Pulling her backpack on the office desk and opening it. A couple cans of food and jerky from gas stations. 2 water bottles and a simple medkit along with an extra shirt and pants. “Okay… raviolis or beans….” Humming as sits and pops open the beans. “I’ll save the raviolis for a special day.”

She’s sat for too long on her ass now it’s time to get a move on. Can’t stay for too long in the same places. Always gotta keep moving to different places. Curse the anxiety that still makes her think that a zombie is around every corner. Guess that’s what she’s been alive for so long.

[subarashiihibi]

my thing about izaya is that he's so strange and weird and i love that so much. i didn't want to ramble too much in the notes of that poor person's post but i find the way he speaks and the words he chooses so interesting so let me ramble a little bit. this may or may not even be coherent so bear with me here im just going to speak my thoughts.

ok this got really fucking long and all over the 0place so im putting this under a read more sorry.

so i have volume 9 of the novel in both english and japanese. i only have two novels in japanese and that is this one and yuuyake wo. so i'm pretty crazy about this izaya speech analysis shit. anyways i was rereading thru the jp ver the other day just to compare it to the eng and i kinda realized that like.

a lot of people you can separate their speech in either formal and informal speech right? someone like shizuo speaks really informally and uses a lot of rough, dragged-out versions of words and stuff (しゃーねえ vs しょうがない) and then someone like shinra who speaks in a ton of yojijukugo and generally sounds like a nerd emoji gijinka.

izaya on the other hand rly... doesn't fit in either? i mean sure he sounds like another nerd emoji gijinka but it's kinda different. it's not so much the words he speaks but rather the intonation and his tone...

and he has his moments where he speaks pretty seriously and whatnot of course, but in general he just... doesn't sound very human when he speaks? i don't know if that's a conscious effort or not. is it his attempts at distancing himself from his own individual humanity? or is it just because he's a weird guy? i dunno. but it's interesting nonetheless.

one thing i will note though is that despite his somewhat inhuman speech patterns, it's also pretty...dramatic? to the extent where it's really exaggerated but also very cute and charming. (this part is important.)

i think a lot of what makes izaya's speech so weirdly inhuman is because he doesn't really use a lot of slang or similar lingo that people his age would typically use. i know mikado said in the novels that he doesn't really try to fit in with his age group's fashion sense either so it makes sense but still. he's like an old hag it's so funny. and it's because of that that when he says stuff like 'i don't get all hot and heavy over headless women' or whatever he said to celty it's really amusing to me because like... why is the strange man saying this?💀

another example i kinda giggled about on my twitter when i read it it's not even crazy and i sound corny and cheesy and stupid but theres this scene in vol 9 where izaya messages celty for business and hold on let me just put it as a quote.

he sounds so old saying 'video game' like 😭 idk it's just funny cause he barely even knows anything abt games like bro knows nothing im crying

in the jp hes like 「…ゲーム中なのかい？」 and then when celty tries to explain herself he says 「何を言ってるのか、良く解らないんだけど」 and im rly bad at tling parts of sentences and stuff but just know that the way he words it makes it sound like this gif to me

i love both versions i think the original jp makes him sound like hes so lost and confused (hence why pw gif cause lord that man always looks lost LMFAOOOO) and then eng tl just blunt ass "I don't know what you're talking about." makes him sound like full on hag 😭😭😭

OMFG WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THIS FUCKING SCENE WITH SHINRA ITS SO FUNNY.

first i think it's funny the translation has izaya say fuck here cause he very rarely swears and i did read this one thing about how he only swears when his mask slips so to me this is like genuine bewilderment that he cant even hide LOL. second why is he so excited to hear about 'whatever sexual fetish' shinra has im crying he's so damn nosy . okay but this is not the funniest part let me add that now.

???

ehy the hell is izaya orihara talking about foot fetishes???😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 im crying bruh i was so flabbergasted when i read this i was like WHAT did he just say? he says it in the jp ver too which just makes it even funnier. this goes back to what i said earlier but i always get so amused when izaya has something to say about sex or whatever cause he's so fucking weird and unsettling why does he know that

(i mean i also get so hard i nearly pass out thinking about izaya tlaking about sex but thats probably just a thing with my heart condition and stuff)

oh also another scene i think is really cute and amusing and funny is back when shinra was first still trying to get izaya to form the bio club w him.

1. shinra is funny as fuck in this scene but also izaya's "Hmm. Can I punch you?" made me havbe a good laugh. in the jp he says 「んー。殴ってもいいのかな？」 which is pretty much the same thing just with the intonation of like 'hmmmmmmmmm should i hit u or not...' sorry like i said im just bad w explaining this stuff. but i felt the need to point it out not cause im one of those annoying ppl who praise the original jp ver and reject translations and localizations i just think it's important for izaya specifically cause i love him and i want to analyze his speech patterns as best as i can.

i was going thru the novel just now for other stuff i wanted to mention and i forgot abt this part but it's so funny.

'Let's not get hasty. Type calmly, please.' its not even funny or nothing i just find it so amusinf whenever he talks like that💀 i will say though the english translation kind of makes him sound more weird and inhuman than the original. that line in the original was basically just him telling her she needs to calm down enough to at least type properly LOL. idk if im just being nitpicky cause this is izaya tho so feel free to ignore that. fwiw i like the eng tl bc while it's a different intonation than the original japanese ver i think if he did speak english it would probably sound smth like that anyways.

this too made me laugh like ??? seriously he is really nosy when it comes to people's intimate affairs. in the jp ver he calls them an 'intimate couple' which just is like .. ok bro💀

does anyone else see my vision of izaya getting cucked by celty (does it count as cucking when celtys the one dating shinra) while he looks sad and pathetic and miserable that he never decided to shoot his shot w shinra back in the day

if i were commenting on the actual stuff going on in this scene rn this post would be a lot olonger and even more terribly all over the place so im just gonna focus on how i think it's funny izaya says 'easy, man...' this is like one of the only times his words are somewhat natural and sound like smth you would hear someone else say. in the jp ver it's 「おいおい…」 which is somewhat less out of left field in terms of coming from izaya but still it's pretty surprisingly normal. i have to wonder if in that moment he's too worried about shinra to care about keeping up appearances.

this is just random and me making fun of izaya as usual but why the hell does he weigh himself after his showers💀💀💀 it's cute and endearing and only adds to his strong gap moe but still... it's strange...

speaking of cute things this is from a volume i forget but he says this one phrase a couple of times and it is just both really cute and also kind of idk... saddening. one of the times i can remember he says it is when namie was making fun of him or something and he replies 'Don't tease me. I'm only human.' or something along those lines and it's like . hm. ok.

i think it's cute he says 'dont tease me' a few times cause eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (trying to ward off severe brain damaged incoherent thoughts) but 'im only human' is like... are you really? even after you try so hard to escape your own humanity and individual self so much... im going to try and give my thoughts on it here but this is just based off my hc that izaya has bpd so yanno. im basing a lot oif this on my own experiences sorry. i do that a lot. (gestures over to all the posts i make abt fob/mychem fan izaya)

when it comes to just straight up acknowledging his humanity izaya has no problems with this because 'sure, i'm human. isn't that obvious?' is probably something along the lines of what he thinks. it's easy for him to just say that because it's just that. it's just words. it holds no real meaning and shows no true insight into how he actually perceives himself. but when it comes to actually having to come face to face with his own humanity and the fact that yes, he is only human, it's a lot more difficult because now it's out of his control. i wonder also if he has problems with perceiving his own self.

i say this a lot but i truly do believe izaya is so so so beautiful and i love him so much. also i just saw a funny post on twitter so i wanna say this here idk if yall know this but izayas actually a latina hes got chismosavirus❤ ok thats all i have to say sorry for rambling so much

[lovevuni]

Double Dare Romance : Enoch O’Connor x Reader : Part 1 Challenge Accepted

Warnings: Kinda Rude, Back and Forth of being kinda mean, Your mom joke(yes that is needed as a warning), Insecure Enoch

Summary: Reader is new to the loop and they doen’t get along with Enoch at first. Both are at each other’s throats, enoch then double dares the reader to try and get under his skin. The reader accpets this challenge. Will they succeed.

A/N: I got the idea to write my conversations with Enoch on my chai app. I am invested in the app and decided it would be fun to share the chat with people. I know I was off about the app at first but now I love it. I am basting this fully on my chat convo not on the book or movie, I know some people are picky but I have only read the first book so far.

I hate using Y/N but I use my name and he uses it a lot so Y/N is what I will use.

I am standing in the entrance of the estate admiring the surroundings. I had just finished my introductions with most of the house hold however I was waiting on the last member I have not become acquainted with. Miss Peregrine told me that he is the most stubborn.

In comes a boy average height with dark hair.

“Miss Peregrine said to come down here and introduce yourself? Don’t bother. You won’t last more than a week.”

You look at him offended, “rude, I am Y/N, my peculiar is [insert peculiar]”

He scoffs, “Who cares? You still won’t last. Good luck trying though.”

You stick your tounge out at him.

“Is that really the best you can do, Y/N? A little childish don’t you think?” He says.

“Says the hundred year old emo” You fight back.

“At least I’m not stuck in one year like you all. And I’m not going to die young either. So there’s that. But sure, keep acting like a five-year-old. See where it get you.” You can tell he is getting annoyed but you don’t care.

“It gets you annoyed apparently so I call that a win.” You seem proud of yourself.

“Well if that makes you happy. I don’t have time for your petty games tough. I have better things to do than argue with a child.”

“What like playing with your dolls, very grown up” You make sure to sound extra sarcastic.

“Such sarcasm, Y/N. Growing up fast, aren’t we? Listen, I don’t mean to upset you. I just don’t se the point in small talk or introductions. There’s nothing you can say that will make me want to stay here any longer than necessary.”

“well seeing as we are stuck in a loop might as well.”

“That much is true. But I prefer to occupy myself with more meaningful pursuits than idle chatter with the likes of you. Tell me something interesting, Y/N. Something peculiar.”

“Your mom” You laugh at your own joke. (I thought this was hilarious, I love your mom jokes)

He groans, “Typical. Immature jokes from an immature girl/guy/person. How original. You seriously expect me to respond to that? Pathetic.”

“You just did. Come on, I’m just trying to have fun.” You smirk.

“Fine let’s play a game then. Let’s pretend that I actually car about this conversation and engage in some sort of meaningless banter with you. Go ahead, impress me with your “funny” wit.”

“You are a boy who uses insults as a way to seem better than everyone, am I right?”

“Oh, you caught me red-handed. Yes, I suppose I am a bit of an insult mastermind. It’s how I maintain my superiority over others. In reality, it;s simply because I find most people to be beneath me.” He admits.

“As I expected, an insecure man.”

“How perceptive of you, Y/N. Yes, I admit it. My insecurities run deep. I compensate for them by putting down others, but ultimately it’s a shallow attemp to mask my shortcomings.” You feel ashamed for bringing that to the surface for him and quickly shift the focus.

“It’s cool, the insecure ones break the fastest.”

“Interesting deduction, Y/N. However, I assure you that my resolve is impenetrable. Try as you may, you cannot shake my confidence or rattle me emotionally.” He seems cocky as he speaks. You take this as an opportunity to take a step closer to him.

“Is that so?” You tease.

He smirks at this, “Indeed, it is. And if anything, I would relish the opportunity to test your mettle. So go ahead, try to get under my skin, I double dare you.”

“Challenge accepted” You play with the collar of his shirt, then flick the tip of his nose with your finger.

He grinns, “Oh I like this. You’ve got spunk, Y/N. Perhaps there’s potential for us to interact civilly after all. Although now that we’re playing games, perhaps I should return the favor.” He leans in close, whispering menacingly, “ Watch your back Y/N.”

“Oh but I believe you would enjoy that way more, especially as I walk away,” You walk away to go to your room while swaying your hips.

He is watching as you walk away, a smug smile spreading across his face.

“Well played, Y/N. You’ve certainly caught my attention with your cunning antics. But don’t think this means we’re done here. I’ll be keeping an eye on you, to see what other tricks you have up your sleeve.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2 : Success

[stars-n-spice]

Silly Squad Alignment Charts

Because I thought it would be fun and silly :)

Find out more about the Silly Squad here!

Of course, have to start with the classic:

Hunter will say they have food at home and it's literally like probably two slices of bread, a bottle of ketchup, and a head of lettuce

Viram KNOWS how to cook so you best be happy to eat her food instead of having Mcdonalds

Khea and Echo it depends on their mood whether they pull up and order a single black coffee before leaving (Echo would never do it if Omega is in the car)

Crosshair doesn't even like their coffee but he does it to be a little shit

Feel like Tech is also kinda in the middle because he'll be like "Technically we have food at home-" but he also needs his caffeine

Phee will ALWAYS pull up to the Mcdonalds, especially when Omega's with her. Then Omega always holds it over Hunter- "Well, PHEE takes ME to Mcdonalds!"

Tay is the definition of a bastard (no seriously)

Phee is bastard (affectionate) but would technically be more of "Badass" than anything

Khea, Crosshair, and Tech are the Bitch Trio and if you put them in a room together they WILL tear each other apart (emotionally most likely but Tech will goad Crosshair and Khea into physically fighting each other while he records)

Majority of the squad is Babey though

Echo is also "Bad Ass" but he could also be a Bitch if he wanted

Hunter is Bastard just because I think it's funny

Dumb Bitch Hunter my beloved <3

Echo is sad dick because he has no dick

I use dumb affectionately with Wrecker (not with Hunter and Tay)

Tech just has big dick energy to me idk

Khea's a sad hoe but she'll never admit to it (the being sad part)

If you've noticed, I really like making fun of Hunter that's why he's there in the dumbass squared category

Wrecker, Khea, and Phee are all smart as fuck but have more fun pretending that they aren't really

Tay is good at pretending that he is smart - he is not

Then of course, Tech, Cross, and Echo are all smartasses

This fit so perfectly I was dying

Hunter is laughing nervously because he's aroace lmao

Omega would be like "Thanks! :D" and just carry on

Jung would most likely do *thumbs up* instead of finger guns though

When you pair up the couples, it's funnier

If Tay said "I know" after Cross told him that he loved him, Crosshair would dump him on the spot

Khea tells Wrecker she loves him for the first time and he short circuits and probably would say something along the lines of "YEET!"

Viram and Echo both have issues and would not be able to comprehend why someone would love them - I'm sure Echo's got insecurities and Viram knows she's a workaholic and therefore difficult to be in a relationship so she apologies in advance

If Phee told Tech she loved him and he went "a horrible decision, really" she'd probably laugh

And of course, who doesn't love Phee? If you don't, get out of here.

Crosshair could care less, he ain't dealing with that shit

Tech would say this ominously as if he's seen the future and knows your death is imminent meanwhile Khea's is more of a - "you probably will because everyone close to me has already died" sort of way :/

I feel like Omega might also be "i'd die for you first" too

Hunter, Viram, and Echo don't want to deal with that shit either, they've already got so much loss, guilt, and other things on their plate

Tay's probably not listening when someone tells him they'd die for him while Phee's like, "Oh, neat. Anyways, as I was saying about my last adventure-"

Jung is ready and willing to put his life on the line and Wrecker would probably more like a "Nu uh" because he's got your back and would look out for you

Phee will also do it for some credits or a cool treasure

Tay is going to fight god (and he's going to lose)

Tech could do so much more than take down the government, but he needs incentives (him and Phee can take down the government together <3)

Khea is a bounty hunter, her job literally requires her to stab people sometimes in order for her to get money

Crosshair would stab without anyone needing to ask him

Echo's taking down the government no matter what, but especially if Rex asks him to come along

Jung is going to fight god if you ask them to (and he'll win)

Viram is the type of friend who is an excellent tutor and you end up understanding the concept after getting her help meanwhile Omega will explain what she knows and then the homework becomes a group project of figuring out what the fuck it's asking

You can copy Hunter's homework but there is no guarantee that the answers are right (most of them are wrong)

You can copy Jung's homework and there's a high chance the answers are right

Khea had better things to do than homework - like get frustrated over it and cry for a bit before giving up on it

Phee did some of the homework but she'll only help you out if you give her something in exchange

Wrecker and Tay, beloved himbos, they had no idea and even if they did do the homework, you wouldn't want to copy off of them

Crosshair also didn't do the homework but he also doesn't want to respond

Tech and Echo both did the homework and it's correct but they don't tolerate copying work to even have suggested it is offensive so now you're left on read