#Everytime I try to sit down and write something my brain screams at me

[illunicae]

[raspberrydraws]

pls pls tell me about your hcs for the first members of the crew fitting the elements of harmony, i very much wanna hear 👀👀👀

Thanks for asking I love u very much allow me to bring a chair so you can sit down and read all my rambling 🪑

some notes about this absolute madness:

I feel like they fit the element but also some traits of the mlp characters too so I will add that when it's necessary

When I talk about the mugiwara's dreams I assume they've already reached them bc the story is not finished yet like mlp and I KNOW THEY WILL ACHIEVE THEIR DREAMS anyways

Please don't have high expectations ahhh I don't wanna end up feeling like I thought something cool and it ended up being lame, I'm not used to writing or explaining stuff this way (and in english tho oof double brain work)

I'll put a everything under a read more bc it ended up being long and also uhh CW: spoilers for both series yeah

✦ Magic: First of all and obvious reason, main character lol.

Character who gathered the group in the first place

Royalty !!! King of the Pirates!!! Princess of Friendship!!! besides the fact that Luffy's dream is becoming the king and Twilight just had to do it etc etc

Very powerful mentor who's far away but encouraged them to start their journey and find their friends

They're not similar in personality at all I get it lmao

✦ Kindness: oof do I need to say anything

Sanji is kind, that's like one of the traits that made him one of my fav characters (more than his totally badass habilities).

and of course that's one of his most important traits

His mother sacrificed everything and celebrated everytime he showed his kindness, he was a sweet child, he's soft with children and helps anyone who's in need.

He's so full of emotion and can go from the softest to the meanest in a second if he needs to (flashbacks to fluttershy literally confronting a bigass dragon, making him cry and leave bc he was mean to her friends)

Also both characters are certified Friends of the Little Critters ™ and can't fly very well

Special mention to Pinkie Pie here, since she shares the "Third child who stands out like a sore thumb from his other siblings because she's weird to her family standards" backstory with Sanji

✦ Loyalty: That's like one of Zoro's main character traits right? He's in the air before Luffy says jump

Cool, they're just cool and probably the most liked characters + the ones who sell more merch for sure lol

Both have a childhood dream, becoming the best swordsman/wonderbolt, but that doesn't push them to leave their friends to achieve it alone + having friends actually helps them reach their goals

hot headed kids + dumbass sometimes

✦ Honesty: The group's voice of reason

Character that pretends to be okay but hell naw she's not ok (AJ harvesting sweet apple acres and almost dying / Nami Pretending to be Arlong's little trustworthy human so she can save her village) until their friends help them to be honest and ask for help

Also they have similar lifes cultivating apples/tangerines with their families and I thought that was cute hehe

✦ Generosity: SCREAMS Chopper my little chop chop I love u my sweet child

The way that Rarity shows her element is usually by giving away something important to her (her time, her talent with fashion, HER FRIGGIN' TAIL) so she can help other people (creatures?) feel better, and there's no signs of repentance after that, she does it with her heart (and sometimes to show that she can make things fabulous)

This brings me to Chopper looking for the mushroom to cure Dr. Hiriluk's illness and showing up at his door all hurt but he's like heyy I got the thing. I understand that's another kind of "sacrifice" The way he showed his thankfulness to his mentor by risking his life looking for the mushroom and trying to prove that he's a good doctor too (even tho uhh we know how that ended)

This was a little bit more difficult to connect with his element and that's why I was in between choosing kindness and generosity for him, but

kindness had to be sanji's element for suree

Dr Kureha specifically told him that "kindness wasn't enough to save lives" and I won't contradict her she scares me so much

AND I feel like Chopper's generosity it's shown all along the show just by treating all those injured pirates over and over again for free lmao

My overall feeling when giving him the element was "He's a little doctor, of course he's generous, doctors are generous enough to learn how to save lives! so we don't like.. die! next question"

✦ Laughter:

This one was pretty simple too, I love Usopp bc he makes me laugh a lot, he's such a comedic relief for the story and also: my best friend in the whole wide world, yes *gives him a lil kiss*

Of course he's not just a comedic relief, he tries to make things easier trying to solve conflicts (sometimes) or joining the sillyness (most of times)

Also they like to tell stories! I feel like that's a cute trait that makes both characters more interesting, even when someone's stories are lies *eyes emoji* I like storyteller characters a lot !!

they're good with kids + tell them stories too !!

also the whole.. alter ego thing, yeah

AND THE PUFFY HAIR ♥

AIGHT

Hope you enjoyed my TED talk, thaks for giving me the strenght to be a little unhinged, I don't talk too much here but this whole mlp au has people coming and encouraging me to talk/write and I have a problem, once I start talking about something I like I can't shut up

And I like MLP since I was 12 years old, i started drawing because of it and I'm currently rewatching the whole series with my bf so if I see anything else I'll come back and add stuff for sure ♥

[takeariskao3]

idk guys things are just weird

this is going to be a very chaotic and disorganized Personal Post (sorry in advance)

i know this is silly and i don't owe anyone anything, but i genuinely feel so sad that i don't have anything to contribute or post today on harry's birthday.

something is up with my writing and i can't quite put my finger on it.. harry and ginny are being...very soft and not in a way that is in-character or plot driven. things are just off. all my plans i have in my head are literally flying out the window everytime i sit down to write and i don't trust if it is the right decision for the story or just some weird mood i'm in that's manifesting in a really out of character tone on the page.

i suppose it could be a couple different things. i haven't met with my therapist in two weeks so my brain could just be overloaded with other crap that i need to process and or decompress before my writing thoughts feel organized again.

my husband has been massively stressed out because of many different things going on in his life separate from our family and so i've been going a little over the top trying to be there for him.

our daughter hasn't been sleeping all that well and she's been fighting a virus/cold for going on about two weeks that i think we are finally on the tail end of.

work for me is bleh. i don't enjoy what i'm doing right now. we are in one of those cycles that is all reporting and data entry and retention analysis and its so boring and just not at all what fulfills me from this position. however in the same vein, the semester is right around the corner so it's also the last push to make sure everything is ready to go for when students return to campus.

i killed a spider today which is like a very big deal for me. i am deathly afraid of spiders and my good friends can attest that when confronted with one i dissolve into a lot of screaming and sweating and general panic. so i def think i am experiencing the aftermath of an adrenaline rush even though that was like five hours ago.

all of this is to say, i think i need a break from wips. specifically already gone and the entire the path from you universe. i feel like this past month has just been me forcing something that doesn't need to be forced. i think if i take a step back from both stories, and quit putting so much pressure on myself, my head will clear and things will start falling into place.

this week is @corneliaavenue-ao3's ficfest! and i hope this will be a really good way to bring to life some of these soft moments that keep trying to knock down the door and also keep me in the habit of writing. i don't want to put a timeline on it and somehow set an expectation for myself or anyone else but i'm guessing you can expect a two/three week longer hiatus for those two stories, and you can probably expect a fair amount of random one shots and/or drabbles from me in the meantime.

i'm sorry if this is disappointing, i can promise it is just as disappointing for me. i miss having a clear head and the words flowing effortlessly. i hope someday i get that back, but for now, i'm going to hope a little time away from those plots helps settle the static that lives inside my head.

as always, thanks for reading and understanding <3

[thenewblackcanvas]

Hi, if you're taking requests right now, could you do something with a yandere headless horseman with a fem reader? If you can't for any reason, that's totally fine! I just got excited when I saw who and what you write for.

a/n: i choose wonwoo bc you didn't specify or see my posts about who you wanted so i hope this is ok. It also inspired a non yandere HH yunho one that I miiiight be able to get out before halloween but we'll see about that one.

spooky season

You should’ve gotten a ride home.

You should’ve stayed over.

You should’ve done really anything else and now you’re paying for it. One mistake is all it takes to ruin your life.

Because now was his moment.

The closer you pull your jacket around you the colder you feel. Like someone’s eyes are boring through you no matter what.

The wind kicks up, blowing your hair away from your face when you hear it.

“Psst” You turn to see someone’s head sticking out from around a tree. Against better judgement, you stop. Squinting to see the dark haired man. 

“Yeah.”

“Are you supposed to be out in the woods this late?”

“Whats it to you?” You answer definitely.

“Theres just a lot of scary and…unexpected thing in these woods.” he speaks as if concerned but wears an uninterested look.

“Like creeps that peek from behind trees?”

He smirks. “That too.”

“Listen, thanks for the information but I’m going to go.”

“Wait!”

You stop again.

“You’re just going to leave me here? Aren’t you going to give me a hand?”

“You’ve got two don’t you?”

He sighs. “Yes but they can get a little turned around.”

You cross your arms. “What are you even talking about?” 

He sighs. “Just come help me. Please.”

His stoic face softens to something a bit more sincere. You walk over with a sigh of your own. As you approach, you notice the web of branches around his head. Maybe he got caught by his collar. You go to look around the tree only to see nothing.

No caught collar. No foot stuck in a hole. Nothing in fact. 

No body.

You stumble back in fear. He’s wearing a grin now. “What’s wrong, something missing?”

Disbelief leaves you speechless as your brain tries to figure out what it’s seeing. You freeze completely when a dark figure walks from a couple trees down. With no head.

It calmly picks up the laughing head, sitting it on the shoulders. “Feels good to step away from yourself sometimes. You probably wouldn’t know but trust me.” He jokes.

The only thing you can do is stare. “Oh come on, ______, don’t look so shocked. People lose their heads all the time. Typically, more figuratively.”

“How do you know my name?” you shakily ask, taking steps back everytime he inched closer.

With a patronizing smile he says, “Aww darling i’ve been watching you for a while.”

A chill runs down your spine. All those times you left work late, feeling like someone was watching you but seeing no one. 

Another step back puts you against a tree. He’s close within a second.

“I was just going to add your head to my collection but” his hands graze over your side. You press yourself further against the tree in fear. “Everything else is nice too. I’ll just have to keep you.” Flames light in his eyes, startling you. 

You yelp in fear and push his head away on instinct not realizing how hard. You’d looked away in fear with your eyes closed but when you hear his laugh coming from far away you look back only to scream in horror. Only the glowing blue flame is left where his head should be. You struggle and writhe trying to get away from the headless figure before it grabs both wrists slamming you back against the tree. Your back pinned against the rough bark as you can’t move much especially as the realization of the scene before you sinks in.

His hands are colder than the biting wind around you. They move to grip your hips, bringing you toward the headless figure. You look over to the head laying on the ground.

“Quite an arm you’ve got, darling.” He chuckles to himself. “I’m definitely keeping you.”

The body moves away from you to pick up the head. It reatches smoothly, him rolling his head and shoulders before turning back to you with a stoic face. “First thing though, is to teach you some manners. While it would be ashamed to remove that pretty face from that body, I will. It is a privilege not a right.”

His eyes hold his ominous intent like you’ve never seen. He signals his horse which appears from nowhere before stepping closer once again. “Don’t lose your head baby.”

[rebellconquerer]

So I listened to this song and my brain started writing a fic where Kinn cheats. Cause my day has been terrible, have fic.

Kinn is drunk. He knows it, Porsche knew it before he left but he just couldn't stop. No, that's not right, he didn't want to stop. Didn't want to feel all the emotions that fighting with Porsche, that caring for Porsche made him feel. So he hid in a bottle and pleasant laughter and when Porsche intervened, he sent him home alone, only to hear that he'd gone to the minor family villa instead of to Kinn's bed. It's where he prefers to be probably, outside of Kinn's damning reach, away from whatever fairytale they thought they were living before the real world interrupted.

"Drinking that much alone is never a good idea," a voice says from his right. Kinn glances over to see the young man from before, the one who's eyes had been trailing behind him the entire night. Kinn is used to it, he's powerful, wealthy and good looking, men look at him.

"Not always a bad idea though," he replies, mostly to himself. The stranger takes it as permission to sit, giving him a warm smile. Kinn finds himself smiling back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Night Before

"You had no right," Porsche continues, voice hard and Kinn rolls his eyes, stepping out of the shower.

"You would have been stuck in that meeting for hours more, Porsche. It took nothing to move him along,"

"Yeah it took nothing for you to move him along. Everytime you step in because you think I can't do my job, it makes doing this job harder," Porsche hisses, balling the button up in his hands and throwing it across the room, a defeated slump to his shoulders that Kinn doesn't like but can't seem to fix.

"This event is important and it's important that we be there, on time,"

"You mean it's important that you be there with something pretty on your arm,"

"At least you know you're pretty,"

"Kinn." Porsche says, one word, dropping with enough displeasure it makes Kinn's smile evaporate. It's been weeks that they've been like this, almost at each other's throats, not quite able to find that easy groove from the begining of their relationship and Kinn is tired.

"Look," he says, and he doesn't mean to slip into his Khun Kinn voice, but he's been trying ok, and all he's getting for his efforts is castigated.

"If you don't want to be there, I can't make you, Porsche, you don't work for me,"

"Are you sure about that? Your words say that but everything else you do screams otherwise," and Kinn spins then, eyes hard as he glares at the younger man. Porsche doesn't back down. When has he ever. When has he ever given an inch when he didn't have to. They should have this out, whatever 'this' is that's been clawing at the inside of their mouths to be let out, but Kinn doesn't want to fight. He's so tired of it. Porsche was supposed to be his peace.

"You can stay or you can come, either is fine with me," he says dismissively. He knows the cold of his indifference hurts worse than the heat of his anger and a part of him wants Porsche to hurt.

He turns and walks out of his bathroom pretending he doesn't hear Porsche's muttered curse.

Porsche meets him just as he's about to get into the waiting limo, hair slicked back from his face, a few messy strands framing his gorgeous eyes. The tux fits him like a glove, the deep jewel-green colour makes his skin even more luminous. It would be perfect if Kinn could get him to smile.

"Decided to join me?" Kinn says instead of the apology he knows he owes Porsche. That gets him a deeper frown and an eye roll.

"Clean and dressed, just as the young master requested," Porsche mutters, sliding past him into the car and Kinn sighs. It's going to be a long night.

[veritable-trash]

warning! this is about to be a rant post ramble below the cut about my life, fanfic writing, and other bullshit and is kinda personal so if you aren't interested it's ok! but you've been warned! weary tumblr travelers beware!

i tried to sit down tonight and write some fanfic because i've just had such a want to write fanfic for so long and literally just nothing came out of my brain. like i am actively!!!! thirsting over a multitude of fictional little guys and yet my brain is like lol no. it's just frustrating because i miss being creative in this way and like getting to write about these things and now everytime i try to write something it just feels beyond clunky and weird and not well put together and i hate it!!!! especially cause i've been reading such amazing fanfic lately that has been so inspiring because the writers on here are so kick ass!!! and like i remember how much fun it was to write my little stories and fantasize about my little guys and put all that together and i just don't have it in me even though i want to so bad! UGH CURSES YOU UNWILLY GODS!

also just like my anxiety has been so out of wack recently and like somedays i just sit and breathe and have to be like there is literally no reason for you to be anxious right now and my body is like but we are and i'm like yes but we don't have to be and my body is like but we are and i'm like YES but we DON"T HAVE TO BE and the rage cycle continues and i'm just like why the FUCK can't i get a grip on my shit right now

also i'm trying to start dating again and like being back on dating apps feels so weird and like clunky and i forgot how shy and nervous i get when like feelings and romance and other yucky shit like that is involved like i literally feel like an 8 year old boy saying ew cooties sometimes like i'm a full grown woman in her twenties somebody call the intimacy police on me! i just like sometimes still feel so immature when it comes to dating and intimacy and i can really leave me feeling really fragile and unsure and i am really bad at handling those types of emotiions

ok anyways will be shutting up now i just like need to scream into ze void for a moment cause i'm just feeling a bit tender today and the feelings have been a lot and well why the fuck not ok anyways anyone who has read all the way to here firstly wow big hug for you secondly i hope you have a lovely day <333333 ok bye

[writing-in-april]

Converging Parallels

Spencer Reid x Female Single Mom Reader (Spencer’s POV)

Summary: Spencer goes to a support group Penelope suggested after the death of Maeve. He quickly connects with a single mom who’s experiences have been similar to Spencer’s.

A/N: I’m prefacing this by saying I know shit about math and am horrible at it lol 😂 so my math analogies might be horribly off 😂 This is my fifth fic for my 30 fics in 30 days for April- this one was requested by @samuel-de-champagne-problems- this is the request- (go check out there fics too!!) I tweaked it a little bit so I hope you enjoy it 🥺 a lot of it is confined to Spencer grappling with his thoughts- but there is dialogue I promise lol 😂I had a good time writing it ☺️Thanks for all the love recently and if you want to drop me an ask for any reason you can do so here- I’m always looking for some new friends on here (I promise I don’t bite lol) Thanks again and hope y’all enjoy 🥰

Warnings: Angst with a hopeful ending, General dealings surrounding death and grief, Mentions of Maeve’s death, Reader’s a widow, Guilt about moving on, Reader’s child is a daughter

Main Masterlist Word Count: 1.6k

Parallel lines were never supposed to meet, they were set on a strict path following in a similar direction with no hope of ever converging. At least that’s what was the widely accepted definition by anyone with any authority in the field of mathematics.

My own math degree was being contested by a set of two lines set on a collision course with each other, though they were not supposed to. Logically I knew that the two lines were not beholden to any mathematical equation as I was referring to two human lives.

We were set on a similar course, only slight differences that seemingly were leading us to different destinations, or at least I tried to convince myself that. I tried every night to convince myself that she was only a friend, that it wasn’t what she wanted and I was desecrating the memory of the person I still claimed to be the only person I loved.

Logically I knew that by forcing where I wanted our relationship to go, what I thought the universe wanted to happen wasn’t what I truly wanted. The reason I had boxed us in so vehemently was only because I was scared and guilty, I knew it too. I wanted us to converge, but logic doesn’t always win out when dealing with guilt.

It had all started with Garcia mentioning that I should consider going to a grief support group after the death of Maeve. Every action I took was being weighed down by her death, whether I cared to admit it or not.

Garcia had good intentions when she suggested going to this meeting to me, of that I was sure. It isn’t that I saw no reason to go to the support group, I just knew that it would dreg up all the unwanted feelings that bombarded me enough already.

The flier in my hands felt heavy even though it was made of paper it weighed my hands down enough where I almost dropped it. I could have let it go then to have it fly away, being taken by the wind, that would let me forget about it. But, I knew it would have only made me forget for a short while, I’d inevitably get questions from Garcia and my own mind wouldn’t let me forget the reality of what had happened. And, logically I knew that it would most likely help. So instead of letting the wind take it away, I crumpled the paper slightly in my hands out of frustration, moving my feet forward one step at a time to enter the building.

That’s where I had first met her. When I first walked in I didn’t immediately lock eyes with her or anything, my eyes were too fixated on the ground for that to happen.

I only noticed her when she was invited to tell her story. Her strength instantly captivated me, almost making me feel like a failure at first. Her story of how she lost her husband was eerily similar in some aspects, especially the cause of his death. The feeling of failure on my part to be strong swirled in my gut as she recounted her struggles that were so starkly similar to mine. She even had a young daughter to take care of as well, she often spoke of her whenever she told her story, almost neglecting herself sometimes- which she admitted she knew she needed to work on.

However, when she came up to me to talk after the meeting was concluded my opinion switched to view her as inspiring. We began getting coffee after each meeting, sometimes talking for hours, sometimes sitting in silence. Whatever I needed she was there to give it to me, whenever she needed help I wanted to be there too.

To see our almost parallel lives begin to converge at first felt like someone had driven a car into traffic about to collide straight into my path. My mind would not stop arguing about whether or not I should pull away from her or not, like guilt was on shoulder and my potential happiness was on the other.

—-

Guilt was eating away at me from the inside out slowly, that part of my mind would not stop clawing away any good aspect of my relationship with Y/N. The relationship between us had shifted in recent weeks, tension invading what had once been a simply platonic connection formed through our shared experiences. When it became clear to me what our lingering stares and touches were leading to, guilt had reared its ugly head to burrow its way down deep and take root.

It had disrupted my sleep even more than usual, nightmares ranging from Maeve guilting me to the visuals of her death. The images of Maeve and any time I had shared with her invaded my brain at all hours of the night, haunting me. I scrunched my eyes up tight, maybe that would banish the images from my brain. That only made the guilt worse it seemed as I now felt double the guilt for wanting to banish the thoughts about a person I still claimed to love.

My hand hit the pillow in frustration, then grabbing it and throwing it to some unknown location across the room. Sitting up, no longer being able to tolerate laying down knowing that sleep would never come, made my exhausted joints beg me to lay back down. I leaned forward to put my head in my hands, also tangling my curls with my fingers. I tried to think about what Y/N had said to me at one of the first meetings I had attended, my normally impeccable memory struggled as the memory of Maeve’s bloodied face would not leave. Screaming internally was the only thing that seemed to work to push the words I was looking for forward,

“I try to think about something my therapist told me- Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.”

The quote wasn’t something groundbreaking or new, though the origins were unknown. But, the words still struck me deep everytime I forced my memory to call back on them.

The words she had spoken in the meeting when talking about her husband made me want to try too. She inspired me whenever she told snippets of her story to me or the rest of the group, her story had been similar to mine- with the added element of having a daughter to raise on her own.

Her strength was what had drawn me to her initially, like a moth to flame. Our relationship wasn’t even a friendship at first, just two people sharing advice (more her giving it to me) about how to deal with crippling grief.

What had blossomed since then from death and decay had thrown me for a loop. I hadn’t been expecting for this to happen, I never even thought romance would be an option for me again. I thought that I would have one great love and that our time in the sun had ended along with any option for romantic interests in the future.

Then she came along and spun my thinking upside down, not that I blamed her at all for it. She originally had just reached out to help me, not to pursue any romantic connection purposefully while I was vulnerable.

She continued to stay with me to help despite my urge to push her away even though that’s not what I wanted. I tried hard to convince myself that our lives were never meant to connect, that we were destined to remain apart.

It took many more sleepless nights for me to realize what I hadn’t seen for so long, even with Y/N reassuring me at every turn. Maeve would want me to be happy, I was sure of it. So I’d try to let myself, no longer letting myself get hindered by my own swirling thoughts of guilt that Maeve wouldn’t have wanted me to feel.

—-

Asking her out on a date had been surprisingly easy once I had let go a little of my guilt. We had chosen to go somewhere different than a coffee shop, since we already did that often. I took her out to more of an upscale restaurant than she was used to, which may be too fancy for some for a first date, but she deserved it. She worked so hard to take care of her daughter and even me to some extent.

At the end of the night we were both standing outside her door ready to go in to relieve the babysitter for the night. I had already given her a chaste kiss for the night, even though my nerves kept trying to talk me out of it. I was about to say goodbye when she grabbed my wrist to hold in her hands. She looked afraid at first, almost like she wondered if I wouldn’t like her touching me. Touch may bother me with most people, but she wasn’t most people, I’d happily share germs with her. When I did not pull away relief was evident in her eyes, then taking a big breath before speaking,

“Would you like to meet my daughter?” Her voice was shaky, understandably full of worry.

“Of course.” In the past hesitation would have littered my voice if she had asked me the same question. But, my thoughts had been slowly shifting to want our lines to converge fully and with no fear. Sure, Maeve would always capture a place in my heart, but I was ready for our lives to collide. Our parallel lives converged into one line, with a set path forward. It may get derailed from its intended path, but we would be stronger together than apart.

Ask me anything

—-

Tag lists (message me if you want to be added):

All works: @shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @s1utformgg @takeyourleap-of-faith (damn tumblr just let me tag them)

All MGG characters: @muffin-cup @willowrose99

Spencer Reid/CM: @calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes @onlyhereforthefanfics @jareauswifey

[draco-spencers-paramour]

congrats for 300 followers! can I request a 🖤 with draco they have a sort of arrangement where everyday after work he goes to her house eats her out and have sex and then he leaves. they never talk but are catching feelings so one day when he comes as usual. Instead of him going down on her she gives him head and asks him to stay the night when they talk and finally confess?

This description is dirty af.....i love that😉

What you don’t know can’t hurt you

You never expected that after the war the person who helped you forget about the painful memories was the one and only Draco Malfoy.

You had spoken a few times, nothing serious. It was evident that you were both attractive people and there was a mutual awareness of that. Nothing really happened until after the war when school ended. Both of you were left broken and sad, ending up at the 3 broomsticks and then fucking back at yours an hour and a half later after at least 4 drinks about 6 weeks since you’d left hogwarts.

Draco had a job as an auror and you were a healer. Your arrangement was simple. He enjoyed going down on you much to your delight, and sex. But he never gave you the opportunity to do oral on him. Being the gracious person that you are, you wanted to return the favour but no. Because then it was over and he’d leave.

This had been going on for 6 months straight. You and him both trying to find some kind of release and comfort. The only issue was that you both became absolutely head over heels for each other but you had a fear of messing things up and ruining your arrangement which stopped your confessions of love. He longed for you, silently pining in desperation for one of you to just say something. Whereas you thought he just needed someone to use to fulfill his sex life, like his own personal fucktoy. Not that you minded but it did make you feel like shit after he left.

However, would you even call Draco your friend? Or was he just a lover..a regular hookup? you weren’t sure but you wanted more than oral and sex. It was mind-blowing but there was not much interaction though just whining of names, moaning and curse words. Even when you’d see each other in the street or at gatherings, you’d exchange the soft hello and not say a word to each other for the rest of the night but would probably leave together to go and fuck at yours.

Tonight was the same weekday routine. You finished your shift at St. Mungos before coming into your apartment in Godric’s Hollow. You got undressed had a shower and put a robe on before sitting on your couch with a mug of tea practically waiting for the boy you loved to knock on the door. And he did.

You swung the door open to see Draco looking rather upset. ‘You alright?’ you asked. He nodded before entering the room and you swiftly shut the door. He placed his work bag down before turning around and immediately placing his lips on yours. You became dizzy and light headed from the emotion he was pouring into the kiss. He must’ve had a really bad day you thought. He picked you up and pinned you against the door, lips never leaving yours. You wrapped your legs around his waist as you submitted full control to him, the bottom of your robe hiking up around your legs almost exposing you bare as his hand travelled along your thigh.

Draco carried you to the bedroom like it was second nature and laid you down on the bed. He began to kiss down your neck as per usual trailing down to your panties. You really wanted to give him full pleasure tonight so you stopped him at your navel by tapping him on the shoulder. ‘Could we switch tonight? maybe i go down on you instead?’ you bit your lip nervous at his reponse. He gave a small smile ‘If you want.’

You smirked and flipped you both over so that he was against the bed lying down. You slowly and teasingly removed your robe. Draco’s icy eyes were over taken by his pupils and his lips parted at the sight of your beautiful naked body. You removed his shirt before sinking to your knees, on the carpet, below the bed and began unbuckling his belt. You took of his trousers and boxers in one swift movement so that he too was now naked. Draco’s dick was prominently standing up against his stomach when you then slowly wrapped your hand around his length and licked up from the base to his tip.

He threw his head back and moaned ‘Oh god y/n, good girl’ this encouraged you to slip your lips around him and slide his cock in and out of your mouth. Draco kept moaning, grunting and swearing as you explored different pressures and boundaries. ‘Fucking hell..i’m gonna-.’ he said as you took him all in and sucked lightly. He gave a long low moan as he came in your mouth and you swallowed every bit of it.

you came up to kiss him which he gladly accepted and flipped the dynamic again with him on top. he pressed your hips into the mattress as he slotted his body in between your legs whilst his mouth was still on yours. He looked at you with an expression you’d never quite seen before. It was soft, curious and lustful almost bordeline loving. He then looked at you as to say ready?

you nodded and smiled before feeling the tip of his cock rub against your clit making you moan softly. Immediately after, you felt what you had been waiting for. Draco. His dick entered you slowly and he set a slow pace. He put his head in the crook of your neck and began kissing and panting. The pressure of the pleasure was too much for you both. The slow pace was absolutely fucking heaven. You were both on cloud 9, involuntarily clenching around him with every thrust. This was not sex, he was making love to you.

‘Oh Draco. Yes...yes..more.’ you whined. He moved his head to suck on your tits as he was fucking into you. That was what pushed you over the edge and you screamed out a string of expletives along with draco’s name as you orgasmed and clenched around his cock. Seconds later he met with his own release cumming inside you, pulling you into a kiss as he came.

Draco slumped on top of you waiting to catch his breath. You knew it would be about another 30 seconds before he got up dressed himself and left. Just as you predicted he stood up, out of the bed and went to the carpet where his clothes were and began to put his trousers back on. No you thought you couldn’t go on like this any longer.

Before your brain could even stop you the word fell out. ‘Stay’ you said, terrified. He blinked and look at the ground and then back up at you and it was simply ‘Okay, sure.’ He removed his trousers being naked once more and climbed back into your bed with you. Draco’s arms instantly came around your waist and you put your leg across his stomach, rested your head on his chest and put your arm across too. You were cuddling Draco Malfoy post-sex.....this does not happen ever **The beautiful boy laid there looking up the at ceiling as you just looked at him

Your eyes finally met ‘You know, we don’t actually speak very much, if at all. Everytime we see each other we say hi but then we don’t talk.’ Draco pursed his lips ‘I don’t know how to speak to people. Especially if i’m fucking them.’ you looked at him confused ‘But the only person you’ve been fucking for the last 6 months is me and when we were in school it was pansy in 5th year and you spoke to her ’ he nodded ‘I know but she was terrible and I didn’t and don’t even like her. It’s just different with you.’

you removed yourself from him and sat up and furrowed your brows ‘Why? Because I’m worse?’ he sat up also and put his hand on the small of your back ‘Merlin, no you’re the best I’ve ever had. But it’s not because of any of that.’ you looked at him even more puzzled ‘Then why?’ you questioned again. He sighed before looking down ‘I love you.’ he admitted. Your eyes widened ‘What?’

Draco frowned ‘Im sorry. I do. I love you. I see you at gatherings laughing so carelessly with your friends and I wish it was me making you laugh. I time exactly when I’ll get to yours so that i know you’ve had enough time to get ready and settled before i come over. I know that you have green tea always and you enjoy watching the rain and having baths. You hate anything orange flavoured and you like muggle TV for who knows why. I know a lot more than you think I do because I want be the person who you feel like home with because I love you and i’ve just ruined everything.’ he put his head in his hands.

You carefully took his hands away taking in his broken hearted expression ‘I love you too Draco. So much’ you held your hands in his. He gazed at you in shock before tackling to you to the bed and kissing you. ‘So how about we get to know each other a little better?’ you suggested ‘Like a date night?’ he beamed. You laughed ‘Yes but right now I had more of a ‘round two’ situation in mind considering our current state.’ you looked between you two to see that you were still both naked.

He smirked ‘Read my mind Y/l/n.’ You kissed him again ‘I love you.’ ‘I love you more.’ he said

well....thank you anon. I enjoyed writing this far too much 😁

[obeiii-mee]

Hi! Im new to your page and i love your writing 💕 i have a request for demon brothers headcanons on how they treat MC after realizing they get anxiety from things like yelling/loud abrupt noises/ things like that? For example, they flinch, get quiet, or start fidgeting? Thank you!!!

Aww, thank you so much. That means a lot to me and I’m really glad you like my writing considering I have such a chaotic style lmao. Also, welcome to this mess of a blog. We give off ‘cult’ vibes but at least we have hot, fictional demons to make up for that.This was super sweet because I know for a fact every single one of them would be very understanding of MC’s anxiety of anything.

Enjoy!

———————————————————————

The Brothers with an MC that gets anxiety from loud/abrupt noises:

Lucifer:

-He may not get anxiety from it, but Lucifer definitely prefers a quiet atmosphere/environment where he can focus on his work

-Which makes living with his brothers a living nightmare because they don’t have the capability to shut the fuck up

-That being said, he catches on rather quickly that you do not feel comfortable around loud noises in general

-There’s a limit to what he can do but every time you feel like you need a bit of peace and quiet, know that you are more than welcomed into his office at any time of the day. Even if he isn’t there

-He definitely prioritises your mental as well as your physical well being seeing as living with demons can have a massive effect on your sanity

-He’s not judgemental about it either because, while he doesn’t understand why loud noises may cause you to be so anxious, he understands that humans are built differently to demons

-Lucifer has no chill at times and will tell all of his brothers off every time they make a big scene, whether in public or private

-He can be a tad overprotective at times but he means really well, especially if he sees you’ve gotten oddly silent for the past few minutes or has caught wind of you fidgeting during dinner

-I don’t know how much I stressed so far about the observation skills this man has but I will keep doing, he can spot you flinching at loud noises from a mile away

Mammon:

-I believe that he can read people really well and can recognise when a person is feeling a certain way

-But he’s still a complete dumbass so he might still miss a few clues hidden in your mannerisms

-Like, he realises you’re uncomfortable but he doesn’t understand the degree of it or why it exists

-You’ll have to be blunt about it and tell him about your deal with loud noises because otherwise he will be stressing about it for weeks on end

-Dating him as a result of your anxiety over loud noises can prove to be...difficult

-He’s a very boisterous and obnoxious being, everytime a particular emotion of his flares up, he gets significantly noisier

-Whenever he enters the room you happen to be in, you’re forced to cover your ears and flinch because he has a way of announcing his presence

-But he tries so incredibly hard to act calmer around you and he so hates it when he fails to do so because he knows how uncomfortable you get as a result of him screaming like an idiot

-His brothers usually blame him when you start fidgeting because they assume he’s the cause of your rising anxiety and he started to believe it as well

-He sees that look on your face and he is just gutted

-He is ready to get on his knees and start apologising profusely until you forgive him for being such a noisy bastard

-The times other things/people are the cause of you going weirdly quiet, he will use his threatening tactics

-“Listen ‘ere, you’re makin’ my human uncomfortable so if you don’t shut the fuck up, I won’t let you see the light of day again. Do ya hear me?!?!”

-He says to the godfather clock when the sound of it striking midnight startled you

Levi:

-He 100% understands

-He hates loud noises as well and they usually make him scamper back to his room lol a rat in hiding

-Levi is slightly more immune to them however seeing as his brothers do have a habit of raising their voices all the time

-But do not worry, human, for he will protect his Henry from the annoying sounds people in general make at the cost of his life

-Take shelter in his room, please

-He loves having you in there and usually you only have the noise of video games in the background

-If you’re there and an anime he’s watching is getting too loud, he will turn it down for you ahead of time

-Sometimes, he can be as noisy as his brothers, especially when he rages at one of his games

-Bu he’s so quick to shut up once he realises you’re there

-And then, like Mammon, would start apologising for being not only an ugly otaku but an obnoxious one at that

-So y’all end up comforting and cuddling each other because.....uh....mutual hatred for loud things?

-Also, he would decapitate his brothers for you if they crossed a line (like he’s not really a Yandere but he’s a demon with demonic instincts to protect I guess)

Satan:

-Much like his father eldest brother, Satan also prefers silence in general

-After all, it’s a lot easier to read when his brothers aren’t there to muck about the place and make too much noise

-Humans are very different to demons, especially psychologically speaking and he understand that

-That’s why he doesn’t question it when you follow him into the library to seek refugee from his siblings

-If anything, he’s rather happy he gets to spend some time with you so the two of you sit in silence, each of you doing your own separate thing

-He knows if something is bothering you again, he can probably notice you suddenly start fidgeting in public

-He’s very cautious with you when you are in this state as he deems you are at your most vulnerable

-One time, a teacher at RAD raised his voice too high while scolding you for not paying attention and that earned an involuntary flinch from you

-That guy was officially on Satan’s shit list from then on, just so ya know

-Overall, he’s very sweet and patient with you and absolutely does not mind spending an entire day with you indoors away from loud noises

Asmo:

-He has no problem with loud noises whatsoever

-If anything, he loves being in crowded public places like The Fall, since partying and socialising is one of his many talents

-Not to mention, he’s so used to own family being so loud it just doesn’t affect him that much

-However, when you first arrived and he noticed just how badly you reacted to loud noises, he started avoiding things like clubbing as if it were the plague every time he hanged out with you

-Asmo needs social contact but he is more than willing to spend time indoors with you if it makes you feel better

-Or going out shopping in a relatively quiet shopping centre

-I mean, getting his nails done with you by his side sounds absolutely amazing to him

-So as much as he loves making noises and spending time in rowdy places, he’s always going to make an exception with you

-Always

Beel:

-Beel is unbothered by noise

-Sure, he does like it better when his brothers aren’t fighting and things are peaceful around the house

-But, he’s not fazed by yelling, loud music, heavy things falling and thudding against the ground etc.

-He picks up on your anxiety riddled gestures the first time Lucifer has a go at his brothers in front of you

-Because you started fidgeting like crazy and in that moment he was the only one that saw it

-So Beel grabbed your hand and led you outside of the room and Lucifer was so caught up in the moment he didn’t even realise it

-Probably, maybe he just let it go

-Basically, Beel decides that he shall protect you, the tiny human in comparison with him, from any loud noises that might startle you

-He will do it, do not test him

-One time, Mammon was screaming because he was chased by the witches and it made you flinch enough for Beel to see

-A couple hours later, Mammon disappears completely and shows up at your door, looking absolutely traumatised but genuinely apologetic and says sorry

-Sometimes people forget Beel is a demon

Belphie:

-I’m gonna make a wild assumption and presume that if you are vulnerable to loud noises, you are very likely a light sleeper

-If that is the case, (apologies if you’re not) then Belphie would be very quick to notice because a lot of shit goes down at night time and most of the time, it’s loud

-Belphie doesn’t have a problem with it, he can sleep through anything, even his brothers and especially Lucifer

-But he definitely notices if you aren’t cuddled up to him any more, even if he was asleep, because you sat up in bed suddenly at a random noise at 3am

-Note: That was Asmo sneaking back into the house trying to be as quite as possible but tripping and breaking a window

-“You’ll have to get used to that. My brothers are idiots, they don’t know when to be silent.”

-He prefers quiet places like the attic so he can actually sleep, but again, could do so either way so it doesn’t matter to him

-But he is going to be...let’s say ...upset.... if you were to wake up from a nap session because of someone something

-“Make one more sound and I’ll rip your tongue out.”

-Even when you aren’t napping, he gets very angry when people get unnecessarily loud, especially with you reaction

-But that just gives him an opportunity to bring you to the attic or something so the two of you can actually chill by yourselves for a chance

-Beel is invited obviously, but Belphie is just as happy to be left by himself with you

-Ironic how much his feelings for you have changed, huh?

————————————

So I really finished this by the end of the week. Hope this is actually some good because I spent all of my brain cells on an another giant request I’m working and the rest were used to write this. Thank you for sending me requests though guys! Now every time I get bored I can just answer your asks. Have a nice Monday!

Al~

[marvelslut16]

I trust you

Prompt number: 31 “I trust you”

Fandom: Marvel

Paring: Bucky Barnes x reader

Part two to Trust me for once.

Rating: T

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: Swearing. Mentions blood, violence, and death. A lil angst. 

A/N: I just want to write for Bucky for the rest of fictober, someone stop me please. I don’t know why I love this fic so much, but I do. Maybe it’s my lack of sleep messing with me lmao. I passed 500 followers and I can’t possibly begin to explain how much that means to me and how much I love each and every one of you! When I started my Tumblr last year to write some shitty self indulgent fanfics I never thought anyone would ever read them. I never imagined having 500 people following my shitty blog. 

In the week and a half since Hydra had captured you, Bucky has been spiraling. When he got to the quinjet and turned to look for you, his heart fell into the pit of his stomach when he couldn’t find you. Everything you had said to him in the warehouse started to make more sense, you phrashed things a specific way; ‘so long as it gets you out of here safely.’ He knew you weren’t coming, but he still made Steve keep the quinjet there and wait until it was almost too late and the team was under attack again.

Back at the compound Bucky spends all of his time in his room or down in the gym punching- and breaking- one of the many punching bags, throwing his knives at targets, and working on his shooting. He isn’t sleeping and he isn’t eating, he won’t even talk to Steve when the super soldier tries to get him to talk- whether it be about what happened in the warehouse or anything in general. 

Steve, Sam, and Tony are exhausting every resource they have to find you, Hydra had moved you to another location as soon as the quinjet was out of sight of the base. On the rare occasion Bucky isn’t in the gym or his room, he's hovering over the shoulders of the three men hoping he’ll see something they missed. He doesn’t, and only succeeds in annoying aforementioned men with his brooding stares and silence. 

Bucky has nightmares on a daily basis again, something that his time in Wakanda with Shuri and T’Challa had gotten rid of. The only difference this time is he doesn’t see himself. He sees everything he went through, all the tourture he endured and the innocent bloodshed, but instead of him you’re in his shoes. He watches you get your brain turned into mush in the damn chair. He watches you forgetting everyone- forgetting him- and then going after the Avengers because you don’t know any better. He can never wake up from the nightmares, he’s stuck in them until he watches you die or you kill him. 

Twelve days after you’re taken, Bucky's down in the gym, sitting on a chair because the memories of you in the warehouse are consuming him. You saying that he hates you and to just trust you for once are playing on repeat. How could you think he doesn't trust you?

“I trust you!” he screams into the empty gym, wishing he’d told you so in the warehouse, hurling the knife that was resting in his hand into the wall across from him. He goes to run his hands through his long strands of hair, forgetting he had cut most of it off, something you would refer to as pulling a Britney. He has no idea what that even means, but you say it everytime you or Nat impulsively cut your hair super short. Instead he pushes the palms of his hands into his eyes, trying to push the memories away. “I could never hate you.”

Steve enters the gym quietly, observing his best friend for a few minutes. He’s never seen him this bad before, not even when he was consumed by guilt when he realized all of the innocent lives that were lost by his hands. Steve was aware that Bucky has had feelings for you since he saw you, immediately becoming infatuated with your beauty. His feelings continued to grow when he learned your humor, sarcasm, intelligence, and saw your skill in battle. Steve knew Bucky was intimidated and nervous, not as skilled with the women like he was seventy years ago and that’s why he didn’t talk to you, but Steve never realized that Bucky cared this much. 

“Hey Buck,” Steve finally speaks, causing Bucky to stand up and pretend he wasn’t just having a breakdown. “We’ve got something.”

Bucky doesn’t verbally respond, instead he brushes past Steve and walks out of the gym. Steve quickly leads the way to the lab, filling Bucky in on the new development. Hydra is streaming a live feed of you chained to a chair right to every computer and television screen in the compound. When the two get to the lab, packed with the rest of the Avengers huddling around the same screen, Bucky see’s you for the first time in twelve days. The first time you aren’t a figment of his imagination. You’re bruised and bloody: split lip with dried blood on your chin; dried blood on your forehead from where you must have wiped the blood from the cut on your eyebrow so it didn’t drip into your eyes before you were chained to the chair; you’re left eye black, blue, and bruised; your skin has a yellow hue and your cheeks are hollow from malnutrition. 

Bucky wants to scream, he wants to put a fist through a wall, and he wants to kill whoever laid a hand on you. The Avengers watch quietly as he squeezes through the gaps in the group's huddle so he can be by the screen. By you. You aren’t staring at the camera, instead staring straight in front of you, where he imagines Hydra agents are standing. 

“You don’t want another Winter Soldier,” your voice is the exact opposite of your appearance, it’s still so strong and determined. “You want the Winter Soldier. You wanted us to intercept the messages and show up at the base, it was an ambush.” 

“Very good, Ms. (Y/L/N),” a man speaks off screen, he has a thick Russian accent, but Bucky doesn’t recognize it. “The only problem was that you seemed to figure it out that day, and ruined our plans.”

“Oops?” your sarcasm garners another slap, the ring on the man's hand causing a gash on your cheekbone. “It’s been what, over a week? How long are you gonna keep me?”

“Until Soldat switches places with you,” you let out a loud bark of a laugh that echoes off the walls in the small room. 

“Bucky, your Soldat, he won’t sacrifice himself for me,” you laugh at the man interrogating you.

“We learned of his affections for you-” you cut him off with another laugh. 

“You need to fire whoever told you that,” you can’t stop laughing at the absurdity that came out of the Hydra agents mouth. And you don’t care if he becomes angry and annoyed with you, you’re gonna get killed no matter what. Your eyes quickly flick to the camera set up on your left, the one the Hydra agents thought you hadn’t seen, before continuing knowing the Avengers had to be seeing all of this. “The only affection Bucky has for me is hatred. He hates me, there’s no way he’d switch places for little old me. You should have captured literally anyone else if you wanted him to be upset. He can’t stand me! We can’t even hold a simple conversation, and he always leaves the room when I’m in it. We were only paired up on this mission because of a fluke accident. Face it, you fucked up. I’m worthless to your Soldat.”

“That’s not true!” Bucky feels like he’s yelling it at the screen, but his protest is only a whisper. The rest of the team watches him with sad eyes, he’s looking at you so longingly. Trying to will you to understand how he feels about you through the screen. As if on cue, you glance at the camera again, giving it a sd smile, accepting your fate. A loud ping comes from one of the computers in the lab, but Bucky keeps eye contact with you, even though he knows you can’t see. He doesn’t realize he’s doing it until his flesh hand is pressed against the television.

“We’ve got a location!” Tony yells, already calling for his suit. 

“Then you’re worthless to me!” the hydra agent growls, stopping the team in their tracks who were on their way to change. 

“No,” Bucky pleads, when he hears the safety of a gun clicking off.  

“Any last words for your precious Avengers?” the man asks you, gesturing to the camera, he hadn’t noticed you’d already seen it. 

“I’d say tell my family I love them,” you’re openly talking to the camera now. “But I don’t have any. So thank you for being the family I never had, and the family I always wanted. I love every single one of you.”

A tear slips from your non swollen eye, a matching one rolling down Bucky’s cheek. The screen goes black, a gun goes off, and then the feed cuts completely. “No!” he screams, going to punch a hole in the television, but his fist goes right through due to it being Stark technology. 

“Where are you going?” Steve calls as Bucky heads to exit to the lab, no one else moving, too shocked to register everything that just happened. 

“Let’s go kill those bastards,” is his gruff response, heading towards the hanger with the Quinjet since he’s already dressed in his tactical gear from his time in the gym. 

Steve and Tony are the first ones dressed and ready to go, but the latter hangs back so Steve can talk to his best friend privately. Steve doesn’t say anything when he sits beside the brunette, he doesn’t know where to begin. 

“(Y/N) died thinking I hated her Stevie,” Bucky’s voice breaks. “I kept my distance cause I didn’t want to hurt her. And then I saw her with Sam and I was jealous so I started to ignore her more. I pushed her away because I was scared and jealous. And now she’ll never know that I love her.”

--

A shot rings through the small room you’re stuck in, the bullet lodging into the wall beside your head. You glance at the camera, finding the red light off. Your team, your family thinks you're dead. That was his damn plan, he knows they’ll come to avenge you. 

“Sit tight,” he smirks, the barrel of his gun coming into contact with your skull, effectively knocking you out. 

Your head is heavy and pounding in pain when you finally come to. Outside the door you can hear screams and guns going off at rapid speed. You cringe away from the sound when someone uses their body to break open the door to your room. The sound of familiar footsteps clomping towards you causes you to perk up, it’s Bucky. You can’t open your eyes or even move your head towards the sound to alert him that you’re okay, but you hear a whispered “thank god,” when he hears your steady heartbeat. From the crunching sound you can tell Bucky used his vibranium hand to crush the handcuffs keeping you attached to the chair. 

He picks you up bridal style, holding you close to his warm chest. You involuntarily cuddle into the warmth, causing Bucky to smile lovingly down at you. “I’ve got you now,” he whispers, hand caressing your cheek, careful not to put pressure on your many cuts. 

When you wake up again, you're in the familiar sterile medbay at the compound. A heavy weight is on your hand, looking over you notice it’s Bucky's hands clutching yours, his head tipped back on the seat he’s in.

“He hasn’t left your side,” Sam smirks at the scene from the doorway, holding a falcon stuffed animal. You playfully roll your eyes at the gift, but reach for it with your free hand. Bucky starts to stir, so Sam gives you a kiss on the forehead and heads for the door again. “Tinman’s whipped.”

The first thing you notice when you glance at Bucky again is his hair. He cut it all off when you were gone. As much as you loved his luscious locks and thought he was hot with them, he’s undeniably sexy with the short hairstyle. “You cut your hair,” Bucky immediately wakes up the rest of the way at your voice, ocean blue eyes staring into yours. “It looks good on you.”

“You could have died,” his voice exasperated. “And the first thing you mention is my hair. I’ve been worried sick, (Y/N)!”

“I was fine,” you roll your eyes, trying not to think of just how close to death you came. “I’m fine now.” 

“Next mission I get to call the shots,” he grumbles. “I’m not having the woman I love almost die for me again.”

“I love you too Buck,” you ignore the fact that he didn’t mean for you to hear his confession. “Why else would I be willing to die for you?”

He shoots out of his seat, eyes wide as he stares down at you. You push up to a sitting position, moving to the side of the bed, motioning for Bucky to lay beside you. He seems to debate with himself about whether he should or not, before finally laying down and gently pulling you into his arms. You crane your neck up to look into his eyes, he leans down and your lips meet timidly at first. It quickly turns into a slow loving kiss, the two of you wanting to prolong for as long as you can. You reach a hand up, caressing his face before slipping it through his now short locks.

Permanent tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen​ @rexorangecouny​ @mrs-malfoy-always​

[strawberry-storybook]

A wounded heart

 Chapter 3: Home.

Pairing: Wong Yukhei x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, eventual smut (High school !AU)

Warning: Yandere!Lucas, kidnapping, obsessive behaviour, rough handling, swearing. Slight mention of somnophilia, collars and leashes, pet names, he smacks Y/n.(NSFW will occur later into the story, and I will write the warnings onto those chapters)

Word count: 1.6k

A/n: Still figuring out the formatting of this shit. Please bear with me okay! I’m also realizing I don’t have to write what part it is everytime, I literally give chapters. I’ll start putting the chapter title at the top so you know what order to read in.

Lucas pov

God they look so pretty sleeping like that, I love the soft look on their tear stained face. The way their eyes were glazed over, mouths open a jar, and that pretty bruised neck of theirs. If they’d just co-operated, they would have been okay. Sat safely in my car, wide awake and getting to know me.

But no, they chose to be a dumb little bitch. Struggling, screaming, crying. They looked beautiful, but it would do neither of us any good if someone had heard or seen them. 

I just wanted to take them home, I wanted to be with them forever. I will be with them forever, but they need to sit down and listen to what I have to say. And now even as I pull up to our home with them sitting safely in my car, I can’t help but think they’re going to get away from me again. 

I parked the car on the small dirt path and slowly crawled out of the car, walking over to their side and swinging the door open. God they were so fucking pretty like this. So innocent and vulnerable, they could be like puddy in my hands. So fucking vulnerable and easy to take advantage of. But I can’t, I don’t want you to be my little slut, not yet anyway. Soon my dear, soon.

I quickly threw them over my shoulder and slammed the door, walking into the home and down into the basement. I had laid a mattress out there, along with a pair of handcuffs next to a bar. A bar I couldn’t wait to see their pretty little wrists attached to, always there when I needed you, needed to see you. Mine. My pretty little prince/princess.

Y/n’s pov

I open my eyes slowly, blinking the discomfort out of my eyes. The room around me is pitch black, and the floor is soft, like a mattress. I sit up slowly and as I’m going to crawl off the bed, something feels sharp against my wrist, pulling me back into the bed. 

“Hello?” I cried out into the darkness, only to hear the loud thumping of footsteps walking on the floor above me, and then a door swung open with some light shining through. 

“Y/n? Are you awake baby?” I heard a deep, raspy voice call out before hearing the thumping coming down what I assumed to be stairs. And then a bright, blinding light shone through the entire room, forcing me to shield my eyes at the sudden light. 

After seeing HIM standing at the bottom of the stairs, his predatory eyes staring into my soul, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It was like he was taking every breath out of my lungs, sucking out my soul, with just one single look. And as he slowly walked over to me, it felt like my chest got tighter and tighter, until he eventually stood towering over me. 

And then he sat down next to me, his head down in his hands. He looked distraught. Perturbed even. I just looked at him, not really knowing what else to do. I mean I couldn’t do anything else, I was cuffed to a pole that didn’t seem to be moving anytime soon. 

Lucas’ pov

Oh god what did I do. Why are they here, handcuffed in my basement. Oh god oh fuck. How do I explain now? Will they even listen? Will they even understand? I have to try, I can’t let them get away. They’re mine after all, they’ve always been mine.

“Y/n, I want you to listen very carefully to me okay? Do you remember me?” And as I watched them shake their head, I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. “Okay then, listen up.”

“It all started way back in grade 1, you were on the playground and I was sitting on the swing…”

(Switching to third person just for the flashback.)

The sound of children laughing filled the air as there was an active game of tag going on. However, Lucas sat alone by himself on the swings, watching everyone. He’s always been an observer, never really getting in on the action. 

“Lucas! Come play with us!” His attentioned snapped over to the little boy calling out to him, he just shrugged it off and kept swinging. He didn’t want to play with the kids, he wanted to watch. He wanted to observe, try and figure out what they were thinking, and what they would do when they were being chased. He was almost always right.

Then, there was Y/n. The most playful, energetic and outgoing kid on the playground. Making sure everyone got equal chances to run and be IT. but at this particular moment, they were walking over to Lucas, smile wide of their face. 

They didn’t say anything, just grabbed Lucas hand and started walking. Lucas didn’t protest, just followed. “Play” They said quietly, and Lucas nodded, His eyes stayed fixated on the person in front of him until they took off running. This made him realize he’d just been tagged and laughed as he took off running after one of the kids.

After that encounter, Lucas had stayed friends with Y/n all the way up to grade 6. Until, Y/n’s mom got a job. 

“You’re moving?” Lucas exclaimed at lunch time with them, the class going silent under his loud voice. They got a little shy, but nodded. “My mom got this job, she can’t turn it down. It’s in Seoul so I have to move with her since I’m not old enough to stay by myself.” 

“Stay with me Y/n. My family will take you in” Lucas said in a plea, reaching out to grab their hand “I can’t Lucas, I can’t just leave my mom. She’s all I’ve got.” They said and then it was time for the next class. They spoke briefly after school, but it wasn’t enough for Lucas. 

He couldn’t bear to be losing Y/n, how could they do this to him. He cried and cried that night, cutting up all the pictures together and taping them onto his wall, drawing hearts after them in his mothers lipstick. 

And then he’d found a picture of their mother, gluing it to the wall and drawing a big X over her. 

Years later, He’d saved enough money to move to Korea. He already knew what school they were attending, and after their mother died in a “Freak accident”, he knew they were all his.

Back to Lucas’ pov

I obviously left out the parts about me obsessing over them, and the thing about their mom. But I told them how much I missed them, and how sad I was that I never heard from them again. 

“Y/n, I’ve missed you so much you have no idea.” I spoke quietly, calmly as to not scare them anymore then I already had. Their eyes were wide, as if everything was just processing in their brain. I couldn’t stand the silence, I needed to know what they were thinking.

“Please Y/n, say something.” I said quietly, almost whining. “Lucas… My mom really liked you. She always thought I’d marry you someday.” They admitted softly, smiling a little bit. 

“Wow, now you remember me” I chuckled out, stroking their cheek slightly, watching as they melted into my touch.

Y/n’s pov

Oh god he’s touching me. This sick creep is touching me again, so endearingly. But I had to play it up, acting like I liked it. The sooner I was off these handcuffs, the sooner I could make a run for the hills. 

I watched as his smile twisted into what seemed like a sick grin, his hand slowly reaching down to my throat to grab it and pull me closer.

“Have you forgotten something about me baby?” He whispered quietly into my ear, making me shiver “I know just how to read you. Don’t think you’re going to leave me again just because you play all innocent and nice with me.” 

His hand is quickly replaced by something leathery, tight. Omg he put a collar on me, and he was attaching a leash to it before I even knew it. 

“Now.” He said, his already deep voice getting deeper, thicker. “Are you going to be a good kitten and listen? Or am I going to have to teach you a lesson”

I gulped heavily when he suddenly pulled on the leash, his eyes screaming DANGER, DANGER.  “I asked you a fucking question.”

“Y-yes sir… I’ll be good” I mumbled out quietly and he tugged on the leash again, harsher this time, sending me flying towards his face. “Oh no kitten, I want you to call me master. Because you will do whatever I tell you, isn’t that right?” He whispers as he licks a strip up my neck.

I just nod in response, but he doesn’t seem to like that, a hard smack coming down on my cheek. I quickly bring my free hand to my cheek and whine. “Say it. Now.” He spits, glaring at me.

“Yes master”

“Good boy/girl”

To be continued...

[anothertimdrakestan]

Dying In The Batboys Arms

reqs: "do you write dark stuff like the boys reaction to the reader dying??? i love your blog btw!" & "Hi could I get some a n g s t"

sooo i'm terrible at angst or anything involving sadness because i ~fall apart~ and give up but for you two i tried my best haha and went for a HC cuz it's easier right? anyways hope you enjoy i cried like twice while writing this but i'm a weak bitch so i had to end them all decently to sleep alright tonight oops

Damian Wayne:

- damian would never let you die, so this would have to be you fulfilling some kind of deal or something unavoidable like yeeting into the speed force or something

- rushing to his embrace one last time and throwing your arms around him

- feeling him shake in your embrace as he whispers "please don't go beloved" and "ill never forget you" reducing you to tears as well

- your last kiss is salty and desprate, like he's trying to remember every moment, every feeling of you

- telling him it's not his fault and that he'll need to move on, but he's too busy promising to find you and save you even if there truly is no hope

- when you leave his eyes are the last thing you see, they were always your favorite and after years of looking at them it felt fitting they'd be the last earthly thing you saw

- as soon as you're gone damian isn't leaving the spot for weeks

- he's basically camped out, hair grown out, cheeks permanently stained as everytime he thinks of you he's crying again- making up for all the tears he held in his whole life

- jon is the only person he'll speak to, and even in that his words are softer than they'd ever been, damian would be to broken to hold his regular facade

- eventually jon coaxes him to return, seeing your belongings unmoved for months

- he'd almost undeniably quit robin, taking up a nickname you called him or wearing a suit in your favorite color, his only driving force after losing you will be the hope you had in him, he tells himself that even in death you're still watching over him forever... it may bit be true but it's the only thing that gives him a reason to keep living and not try to join you

Tim Drake:

- coughing up blood you'd search frantically for tim until he was at your side, crying uncontrollably as he tried to push away your hair matted with blood

- "hey timbers i don't think i'm gonna make it outta this one" you whispered, your hand reaching up to caress tim's cheek, wiping away the tears

- "no, stay with me help is coming i'm right here!" he'd scream spamming the 911 button on his suit as you shook your head "i might be dying but i'm not stupid" his eyes softened at the light smile that traced the lips he loved to kiss

- pulling him down to whisper everything you needed to say all he'd be able to get out it "i can't keep going if you leave me"

- squeezing his hand with every last ounce of strength you reminded him "it's not goodbye timmy it's a see you later, right?" with a soft nod he looked at you, eyes still brimming with tears

- "i've always been so proud of you timbers, don't stop now. see you later okay? i love you" the last words were strangled, but you had to give him something to hang on to as you let go, fading into the pain

- "see you soon y/n l/n ill love you always" were the last words to grace your ears, fading into a dull white noise as you slipped into peaceful bliss, tim's fsvorite soft smile permanent on your lips

- his family found him clutching your limp body, rocking back and forth promising to make you proud, repeated pushing your hair behind your ears because he knows you hate having hair fall in your face

- the strangled noises leaving his families throats as they realized what happened didn't help, neither did dick falling to the ground next to him, and steph bawling into jason's chest. duke had softly grabbed damians hand, both staring at the sky praying to whom ever was listening while bruce pulled tim up and into an embrace

- carefully the family left, one member- and a huge piece of their heart missing. broken at the scene.

- tim threw himself into work, determined to make you proud- but his family would catch him sitting in front of the small, supposedly secret, shrine he'd made in his closet for you, if damian presses his ear to his closet wall he could hear tim softly telling you about his day and what he did that would make you laugh

- months later he seemed calmer, no one could figure it out until dick took the time to ask. tim didn't say much but he held up his left hand ring finger and in a writing dick hadn't seen in months, the perfectly messy scribbles tattooed on his hand said "see you later timmy"

Jason Todd:

- seeing you minutes from death would send jason into shock, unable to move other than sinking to his knees next to you as you groaned with pain

- "at least hold me while a go jaybird" you mumbled through the blood trying to fill your throat. quickly he'd wrap his arms around you

- jason's embrace was comforting as always, you tried to memorize the way the scars landed on your abdomen and his calloused hands tentatively held you like you could break at any wrong move- i guess he was right this time

- "just hold on babe" jason was never good with words was he? with the last ounces of strength you cupped his cheek, bringing his head down to yours "stop talking and kiss me one last time" you whispered

- jason's hands fell to their usual position, one keeping you upright by holding your lower back, his rough hands creating perfect friction with your smooth skin, his other secured to the back of your head, lightly tugging on loose strands of your hair, it was like a puzzle piece fitting together, you melded perfectly to his lips

- the kiss was slow and loving, taking a moment you deepened it just to burn the memory of his passion into your brain before returning back to his loving and slow kisses

- you realized you were crying into the kiss when his rough finger swiped away tears, his lips never leaving yours

- pulling apart to breath and cough jason clung to you "please hold on please" you gave him a sad smile "it's okay jaybird i'm last where the pain hurts that means it's coming soon" you whispered, your hand still on his cheek, feeling the light stubble you always thought was so sexy

- "i love you jason todd, but i've never lied to you and i'm not starting now, this is goodbye babe" you told him bluntly, his face contorting as he pulled you back into his chest "no no no no" were the only words he could think of "i love you jay, it's okay baby" you pulled his lips back to yours until you felt the pain incoming

- "i don't think i've got much longer. hold me?" you looked up to jason who was pushing away tears

- "always" he replied, clutching you to his heaving chest as you snuggled into his embrace, you were sad this would be the last time you got to feel his heartbeat and chest rise and fall, you loved the feeling and knew you'd never forget it, even in death

- "y/n? babe? no" jason realized you were gone, and he lost it, screaming at the universe for taking the one good thing, crying like he promised he'd never, and punching almost everything within a 5 foot range

- his family found him bloody and broken, clutching your lifeless body as he tried to wrap him mind around what happened, he might never get better, the memory of your loss burned too deep and scarred too hard, but if he truly understood your love for him he'd use that love he had for you to drive it towards good, fighting for whatever you believed in most as an homage to you, hoping that when he next saw you he'd get to remember the feeling of you throwing your arms around him like you always did when he did something you were proud of, that desire was the only thing keeping him going

Dick Grayson:

- imagine an impending death with dick grayson, maybe it's a medical diagnosis and hope has run out, or a known death date, whatever it maybe- i think only dick would be a character strong enough to stay by your side through it all

- when it just became too hard to go on you and dock both knew what was coming

- he took weeks off nightwing duties, traveling the world and falling deeper in love, eloping somewhere deep in europe to solidify your love eternally no matter where either of you were

- the day it was finally time you were wrapped up in his clothes, your favorite hoodie and sweatpants that smelled of the warm vanilla toasted marshmallow smell you fell in love with

- you'd catch dick swiping away rogue tears all day, trying to make the most of your time together

- as the final hour ticked down you both let everything off your chests, not that there was really anything left

- nestling himself one the crook of your shoulder you inhaled the warm comfortable scent, willing yourself to never forget it when he whispered "i'm not ready to let you go yet" and it broke the both of you, sobbing into each other's shoulders as time stopped

- feeling death begin creeping in you were curled up in dick's embracing, having said your goodbyes to loved ones, damian especially heart broken he was clutching one of your sweatshirts, one day he'd grow out of it but you assumed by then he'd be over the loss

- "does- do you hurt?" dick asked softly as you soaked in his embrace, feeling his tears roll down your touching cheeks

- "it's not scary when you're here dickie" you whispered, pulling his lips in for one last kiss, as you began drifting away you shifted to rest on his collar bone, inhaling the vanilla scent that had been your rock for years, you were glad it would be the last thing you remembered, the best sendoff you could ask for

- dick watched you exhale your last breath peacefully, part of him was glad your pain was over, but that didn't stop the sobs from escaping

- damian crept in, still clinging to your sweatshirt, hopping up into dick's lap, nestled between you and dick, he'd only done it a couple times but he needed it almost as much as dick this time

- and the two held you together, more family members came and went but damian and dick held your vigil, together they helped each other get up and live, falling into a routine of sitting in the same position, your sweatshirt held in their lap, occasionally they'd raise it and take a trip down memory lane with your familiar smell still lingering on the sweatshirt, and that was all they had of you, but now they had each other. and that would have to do until they saw you again

[prettyboybillyhargrove]

Lollipop part 1

(Tw: smoking, swearing, eventual smut) (it's my first time writing this long in English so idk don't come at me.)

Billy smokes a lot.

He knows he smokes a lot. He doesn't need Steve to repeatedly tell him. He smokes a lot. Sometimes because he is sad. Sometimes because he likes it. He likes the ember shining red in the dark night. He likes to watch the smoke spreading in the day. Watching it burns makes him relaxed. Makes his mind calm for a second. Makes all his worries, pain and suffering stop. But Steve don't get that. Steve thoughts it was bad for his health. It's gonna give him cancer or something. He knows its bad. He can feel it actually. How he can't stop coughing in the mornings or how he needs to spit everytime after smoking because it gives him disgusting phlegms. So he decided to quit.

It was hard asf. To say the least. His hands were shaking with need. His mind was screaming all the time. And he gets angry easily. And headaches, and dry mouth, and insomnia. But the worst part is he was thirsty, hungry, horny, all of them TOGETHER. He was burning. His mouth feels so empty. And he was overflowing with energy. So much that he started to run in the mornings. Then at night too. He was always had a lollipop in his mouth because it makes his mouth watery, and he needed to fill the emptiness of the cigarettes.

It goes like this for a week. Billy running with his tiny shorts, Billy always sucking some lollipops, Billy drinking things like he was in the desert for weeks. Spilling all over himself. STEVE CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. Yes it was good for Billy's health. But it was a torture to Steve. He was always in denial about he is not liking him, or he is not atracted to men but thanks to Billy he was all clear now. He was very much bi. And he wanted to fuck Billy. More like his mouth. Both.

They were in Steve's pool. Steve was in it and Billy sitting on the edge, lollipop in his mouth. This time it was red. He was sucking so hard Steve actually can hear the voices. And he was hard as nails. That's why he was in the water in the first place. When the candy finish and Billy lick the last piece he finally starts breathing again. But Billy fucking Hargrove went and takes another one from his pockets! And started to lick it like a cat. While looking at Steve. He was licking slowly, from top to the bottom like it was a fucking dick.

"You know I read somewhere," Billy started to talk, Steve can't answer because his brain was still trying to process all the lollipop licking. "That quitting smoking makes people thirsty. Did you hear that too?" Billy looks at him all innocent. Steve didn't need to read books to know that Billy is thirsty. He did saw how he drinks. Like he is needed all the fluids on the world. Like he is burning inside. Steve shakes his head but gets closer to Billy, slowly, like a hunter who doesn't want to frighten his prey, but there was two hunters at that game.

The other hunter started talking again. "I'm very thirsty Steve." He looks at the boy with hooded eyes. "Sometimes I feel like I needed to drink all. You know. Everything." When Billy's eyes startes to go south Steve gulps down. Suddenly he feels thirsty too. And he understand what was going on but they needed to talk first. Right?

"I- I should go. Change my shirt. I felt cold suddenly. I think we should go inside." Billy pouts after the running boy. His plan was failing very badly. How could Steve ignore him like that when he literally offered him a blowjob? He toss the lollipop and went after Steve too. Clearly he was not gonna get 'hydrated' tonight.

When he came back after taking a bath and taking care of 'other things', he found Billy in the kitchen. He was bending over in front of the refrigerator, probably looking for something to eat. "It's empty. You want me to order pizza? And coke? Are you still thirsty?"

Billy looks at him with a frown. Chocolate in one hand. "I don't want your fucking ugly coke. Go hydrate your other bitches."

"Hydrate? Wtf Billy. I thought you were just thirsty." Steve looks after him as Billy went to the door.

"Omg how can you be this stupid? I was trying to flirt with you. I am not thirsty I'm FUCKING HORNY. I don't want a coke, I want your cock! What? King Steve? Bullshit. I bet you're a fucking virgin. WITH A TINY DICK!"

There were two things in Steve's mind when he went and grab Billy's arm. One, he was so angry at himself, he didn't talk about his feelings so long that Billy actually thought he was not interested in him. Two Billy calls him bullshit. he was not sad like he used to be no he was so pissed. Tiny dick? What? He did know Billy looks at his dick at the baths enought time to know it's not fucking tiny.

Steve looks at him with a cocky smirk he never saw on him, but only heard from other people. The king Steve. He always thought that were just idle rumors. He couldn't even imagine Steve bullying people, or fuck girls like he is born for it. He always saw him as a kind, little ball of sunshine. But here it was, in the flesh, king Steve himself. And he was looking at Billy like he was gonna fuck him, or punch him. He couldn't figure that out yet. And he probably shouldn't be that horny in this situation but he was a teenager, and he needed to get laid like yesterday.

"Tiny? Come on Billy. We both know that you know how it looks like. We both know you are gagging for it. You can't even stop looking at it right now. You like it don't you? You like my cock. And me."

Billy was wrecked, his mouth was watering, his brain was already filled with dirty images. And he was dripping wet. "You like me don't you Billy? Tell me baby. Tell me and it's yours. I'm yours."

His brain clearly stopped working because he couldn't form a word at all. Of course he likes Steve but liking him and Steve knowing he actually likes him is very different things. And what if he was bluffing. He never saw Steve with boys. Neither with girls but he heard enough to know his reputation. What if Steve was testing him. And he was failing miserably. What if Steve don't want to see him again when he confess. What if Steve hates him. He couldn't stand this shit hole without Steve.

Steve holds Billy's cheeks between his hands looked at his eyes. "Billy. Look at me. Billy. I know what are you thinking but stop right now. It's not real. I asked you because I like you Billy. Since forever. I didn't say it because I can't even say to myself. Now think again. Do you just want this or do you really like me? I don't want this to be one time thing Billy. I really want this to work. I can't go being friends anymore."

It was hard Billy to process. First of all Steve admits that he likes Billy and wants a relationship. And he likes him for a long time. And he was seeing him as a friend. That was a lot. "I like you too." Well that went smoothly.

"God I like you so much Steve. From the first time. The keg shit was just to get your attention, and everything after that. I just wanted you to look at me. I was so desperate. I literally give you million fucking signals, I stare at you all the time, I touch you, I hit you, I hit on you in the fucking showers Steve. When we were both naked. I saw your everything. And you didn't even do anything. How can you expect me to speak? I fucking did you just didn't see it!"

Billy breathe and looks at Steve again. "Oh god that felt good. I should talk more often. So can we kiss now? Since we like each other and stuff."

Steve looked at him and started to laugh loudly. "Jesus Billy you're a walking disaster." Steve said softly. Holds Billy's head in his hands. "But you're my disaster." He slowly tilted his head and kiss him finally.

Ao3

[fallingappleshurt]

At least I’d be of use

Me posting actual writing two days in a row?? Yeah don’t expect this ever again

This is a sadish Drabble I did and it’s just brrrr and reallly bad and BRBRBRBRRBRBR

This takes place in my DFF AU, it’s spunky and I wanted to write Ansgt ya know even if I’m bad at it

Anyways here we go, also this is half inspired by the song Boreas by The Oh Hellos

At least I’d be of use

Tommy was laying on the floor, neglecting his homework. He knew that he should at least start on it but he couldn’t focus, everything was distracting him today, the mice in the alley, the neighbors fighting above them, the chilly wind that pierced through his thin jacket and uniform.

He was racking his brain for ideas, any ideas, he wanted to do something useful, help out in some way. Grumbling to himself, homework didn’t help out the family but for some reason he still had to do it.

In another attempt he rolled over and opened his backpack, pulling out the math worksheet, the numbers and symbols swirled and scrambled around in his brain. Why did he have to learn this? It won’t help him in real life, neither Wilbur or Techno knew super complicated reading or math or science or anything like that and they were okay- Phil even admitted that he didn’t use that stuff in his job and he was a doctor! If he didn’t need that kind of math as a doctor then why did Tommy need it?

Then he finally had an idea.He pushed the paper away and sat up,Wilbur and Phil were still out but Techno was sitting on the couch, reading a book, at least he was when Tommy got home.

Stepping out of his and Wilbur’s room, Tommy jumped on the couch next to Techno, who’s eyes flickered up briefly.

“Teach me how to fight.” Tommy said, sitting on his knees, Techno didn’t even look up.

“No. You’re a child.”

“I’m serious, I want to learn how to fight so I can do those duels like you do.” Tommy said, staring at Techno. Techno closed his book and looked Tommy in the eyes, “How do you know about those?”

“I’m just incredibly observant,” Tommy said, almost matter-of-factly, Techno raised an eyebrow, staring him down.

“I figured out bits and pieces and then bugged Wilbur until he slipped up,” He confessed, not ashamedly, Techno sighed and rubbed his temples, he stayed like that for a few moments, considering his options.

“I’m not teaching you how to fight-”

“Come on!” He just wanted to help out.

“Let me finish, I’ll show you self defense tactics and self defense tactics only, under a few conditions; you cannot tell anyone about the duels, under any circumstances-”

“Why?” Tommy interrupted, Techno groaned, “Come on! Tell me or I’ll tell Tubbo!”

“Don’t even joke about that,” Techno said sharply, he paused, voice softening, “You can’t tell anyone about them because,” he licked his lips nervously, “They are technically illegal.”

“Oh,” Tommy deflated slightly, he chuckled lightly, then laughed a little louder, “Oh, Oh! They are illegal! I thought you were gonna say something about murder!”

“I’m ignoring that,” Techno said, “Listen, you cannot tell anyone about the duels and don’t go around showing off the defense moves, they are strictly for defense only-”

“What if I show them off anyways?” Tommy teased, biting his tongue through a grin, Techno rolled his eyes fondly.

“Then you better be ready to use them,” He cracked his knuckles, Tommy laughed nervously, he would never admit it but he found Techno to be a little scary. Red eyes, lean muscles, and scars that he never explained, Tommy knew he could do some serious damage and he hadn’t even seen him fight! Subconsciously Tommy also knew that Techno was a big nerd that got invested in weird books and cheesy radio shows but it took awhile to get to know that side of him.

The anxiety and frustration started seeping back into his skin, searing and shrinking it until it felt like he couldn’t breath.

“I want to go to the duels-”

“Absolutely not, the crowd is no place for a kid-”

“No, I want to fight in the duels, for money, like you do, I’m serious.” Techno looked at him and Tommy stared him down, mouth in a thin line.

“No.” Techno said firmly, red eyes piercing Tommy’s pale blue. Tommy’s chest felt tight.

“Come on Techno, school is useless, I could actually help out by doing them, it’d be better for everyone-”

“You can help out by staying in school,” Techno cut him off, “Enjoy your childhood, hang out with Tubbo, play, do whatever kids do, don’t worry about it, we’re doing just fine.” Techno waved his hand dismissively, opening his book back up.

Frustration wrapped its thick tendrils around his throat and made him want to scream, he wanted to blow up and yell and pull out his hair. They weren’t fine, he wasn’t stupid, he heard his older brothers talking in hushed desprate whispers. He had seen Phil sitting at the table late at night, papers scattered everywhere with his hands in his hair, trying to see if they could float another bill or if they could find cheaper options for dinner.

He saw the smaller portions the others had while his portions had gotten bigger, Techno claimed to not be hungry, Wilbur said he didn’t like the food, Phil just smiled and told him to eat it. He was growing, they said, he needed it.

Tommy felt like such a drain, going to school cost money, his uniform and books and bag cost money, everything he did cost money.

Money they didn’t have.

His chest hurt everytime he got something he could do without, like new shoes, the old ones had some holes and were scuffed but they worked just fine, he didn’t really need the new ones.

He was scared they’d get kicked out of their shitty apartment, scared everything they’d worked for would be gone, scared that one duel would go to far and Techno wouldn’t come home, that Wilbur would disappear like his parents did, that Phil wouldn’t take a break until he broke.

He feared they’d resent him.

All of the extra food and money spent on someone who made their lives more difficult,someone someone who didn’t help provide, on someone who drained their time with stupid questions and ideas, Someone who could barely pass his math class, someone like him.

He desperately wanted to feel useful, all his brothers provided something, Techno did the duels and chores, Phil was a doctor and got consistent pay and Wilbur had random odd jobs of some sort while Tommy did nothing.

He was a drain of resources.

But he couldn’t tell Techno that, he couldn’t tell any of them. He couldn’t speak or everything would burst out of him, instead he turned and went back to his room, going back to laying on the floor.

He put his math work back in his backpack.

Tommy was quiet for the rest of the night, only saying a few things about school at dinner, Phil tried to ask him about his day in a ditch effort to get him to talk but came up empty handed.

After dinner Tommy climbed the rusty latter on the side of their apartment building, then, jamming his feet in the grooves and cracks of the wall, just like he’d seen Phil do, he hosed himself onto the roof.

Standing on the cold brick he looked at the clear night sky. The moon was big and bright, casting icy light over the land, the wind was blowing so hard it threatened to knock him over so he sat down.

He wrapped his arms around himself, he wasn’t wearing a jacket. Suddenly his chest burned and everything came crashing down. Hot tears boiled in his eyes, stinging against the frigid wind.

He wanted to be useful, to help and provide for his brothers like they did him, he wanted Phil to be able to take a break, for Wilbur to have a better guitar, for Techno to not fight-

He wanted to not be a burden.

He burdened the people that had no reason to take him in, they’d resent him eventually, he knew it, and that thought alone caused him to choke on a sob.

He just wanted to be of use.

[safertokiss]

Don’t Call Me Doctor - Part 2

A/N: Heyo party people! Ok this is part 2 of DCMD and I’m super excited for you guys to read it. I’m so happy I finally decided to give in to my urge to write cause it’s so much fun! Thank you guys for all the support of the first part. Enjoy:)❤️

Pairing : SPENCER x READER

Category: Fluff and Angst and Smut

Word Count: 2.2k

ENJOY!

~~~

MASTERLIST

~~~

The moment she walked through those doors I knew I was a fucking goner.

Her beauty was indescribable. Unmatchable. Unattainable.

Dangerous.

She was dangerous. All she had to do was enter the building and I was already wrapped around her finger. Dangerous.

Even though the bullpen was bustling and filled with chaos at the time, the unmistakable creak of the front door rang clear in my ears. Glancing away from my work momentarily, my eyes were immediately drawn to her. I mean how could they not be? One look in her direction and it was clear she was nervous. She looked flustered, her face was flushed, but strangely enough there was a hint of a smile upon it. Even in her frenzied state, her beauty knocked the wind out of my chest. Who the hell is this girl?

As she surveyed the hectic room, I noticed her head perk up at whatever or whoever it was that she had located. Following her line of sight I was met with Hotch. Oh so she’s here for him, maybe a family member or friend.

Wait. Wait wait wait wait.

Remembering the conversation Hotch had had with us recently about a new recruit to the team, I was able to answer my own question. Oh god she’s the new recruit.

This is bad. This is really, REALLY bad.

I couldn’t go through this again, it simply wasn’t an option for me. My heart could not handle anymore pain, a pain that would surely accompany this girl if I let her in. Too much had happened in my life already at such a young age, from missing my chance with JJ to losing the one somewhat serious relationship I had ever had. Like I said, she’s dangerous. I had only been aware of her existence for a couple of minutes and I already knew that she possessed the key to unlocking my withered heart. However, she also wielded the axe that would run me through in a split second.

I knew in that moment that, as much as it pained me, I couldn’t let her have the chance. I had to take away her power over me before she was even aware she yielded it.

Looking back in the direction of my enchantress, I noticed her and Hotch had moved from their original spot and were now walking towards the center of the room. Towards the rest of the team. Towards me. Quickly, in order to avoid making eye contact I ducked my head down and pretended to work away at the papers sprawled in front of me.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see the others shaking from excitement at meeting our newest agent and I didn’t blame them. It wasn’t often we got new blood around here. Certainly none of them had taken my breath away like she did.

I was aware of how rude it was for me to not join in on the welcome party, but I was still struggling to breathe correctly from the brief glance I got of her. From my position at my desk I was close enough to hear the conversations being held, well enough at least to hear her be introduced to the team.

Y/N Y/L/N.

It fit her perfectly. A beautiful name for a gorgeous woman. While the others were busy meeting our newest member, I decided I just had to hear how her name rolled off my tongue, even if just this once. In the most quiet voice I could muster up, I released my own personal curse from my lips.

“Y/N.”

Fuck. It just felt so right. It was as if she had been given that name just so at one point in life I’d be able to shout it out for the entire world to hear. Why did the universe hate me so much?

I had gotten so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I hadn’t noticed the woman plaguing my mind had already taken a seat at the desk next to mine. It wasn’t until she sputtered out an overly enthusiastic greeting directed towards me that I realized she was there.

“Hi I’m Y/N Y/L/N! Nice to meet you Dr. Reid.”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Immediately as the words started pouring from her lips I felt my body tense. Suddenly I understood the allure of sirens. How a voice could be so enticing to reel in unsuspecting sailors on the sea. I understood their choice of action. But when she called me Dr. Reid. Fuck. That should simply be illegal. Hearing her use my title awakened something deep inside of me that I had been trying to suppress since the moment she waltzed through the door. It also awakened something below my waist, my body twitching as a result. Stop it Spencer. You can’t let this happen, you need to push through it. Make her stay away.

I must have been sitting there speechless for too long because before I knew it she was at it again.

“Sorry if I scared you! I’m not the most socially adept individual. I couldn’t help but notice that-“

Put a stop to this Spencer. Make her stay away.

“You’re rambling.” Fuck that was rude.

“Pardon me Dr. Reid?”

Holy fuck if I hear her call me that one more time I don’t think there’s anything in the world strong enough to prevent me from ripping her clothes off and taking her right here on my desk. Spencer stop! Make her stay far away from you.

“You were rambling. Thought you’d like to know. And it’s Spencer.” I am such a dick. But I had no choice. Letting her into my heart would only leave the both of us in shambles, longing for the pieces to be put back together. Deciding it wouldn’t hurt, I accompanied my rude remark with a slight glance in her direction. Yeah that was a big mistake. Even if it only lasted a split second, I could clearly see the hurt plaguing her beautiful orbs, a hurt that was caused by yours truly. Wow this fucking sucks.

“Oh...ok”, she replied before turning her attention back to her files in front of her.

I really wish I didn’t have to treat her like that, but it was the only option that left us both unscathed. Returning to the task at hand, I couldn’t help but let my mind wander and imagine a life alongside the enchantress sitting next to me.

Maybe in a world where I wasn’t so fucked up.

~~~

Ok remember when I said this sucked? Yeah it was worse than I could’ve ever imagined. It had been about three months since Y/N had started working with us and I spent the majority of that time running away from her. She’d walk in, I’d briskly walk out before cracking. She’d wave at me and I’d have to look away before imploding on the spot.

The worst part of this whole ordeal was that it was obvious that she had a thing for me. The amount of times I had caught her staring at my hands or for some reason my hair while she was trying to be subtle, was a number almost too large to keep track of. I’d be trying to mind my own business and block her out of my thoughts, when I’d catch her biting her lip, lost in thought, while her eyes raked my body. It was getting to be too much to handle.

Most of the time while we were at the round table discussing cases she would take the seat next to mine, much to my dismay. Her close proximity always acted as a ticking time bomb to my poor, defenseless body, usually eliciting reactions not suitable for a work environment. Following nearly every meeting I’d hightail it out of the room straight to the bathroom. And while she probably assumed I was just trying to avoid her, the reality was much more humiliating.

What had she turned me into? I felt like a horny teenager all of the time. What would my friends think if they knew I had to run to the bathroom to take care of my arousal almost every other day? It was so embarrassing, but only she could provoke such a reaction from me.

As often as my bathroom escapades took place, I had become a pro at suppressing my true feelings for her. For some reason, however, my attempts to make her stay away triggered the opposite response on her end. I can’t even explain the amount of pain that filled my chest everytime I had to reject her offers to get together and spend time together outside of work. I had even stopped going out with the unit because I knew I wouldn’t be able to control myself around her, usually coming up some lame excuse about having work to catch up on.

I had no idea what to do. I wanted her so bad.

I felt like I was in my own personal purgatory that had absolutely no escape in sight. All I had to do to set myself free was reach out and touch the ethereal being in front of me and express the feelings I harbored for her. But I still refused to consider that an option.

Not only was she keeping my mind occupied at work, I couldn’t make it through a single night without seeing her beautiful face. While the dreams had started off pretty neutral and innocent, they quickly progressed into territory that shouldn’t have been accessible. I truly felt like a teenager again with the amount of wet dreams I had been having to deal with. I just couldn’t help myself. Her body was amazing. It was physically impossible for me to not picture myself ramming her into my desk or bending her over the round table, making her scream my name for all of D.C. to hear.

God it was getting harder and harder to ignore her. What was stopping me from grabbing her wrist, pulling her into an empty office and destroying her on every surface available. I had to do something or figure out a way to push those thoughts away.

“Hey pretty boy! Get over here!”

I swiveled in my chair to seek out Morgan, spotting him across the bull pen. Sighing quietly, I made my way over to my friend, trying to mask the internal conflict occurring between my brain and my heart.

“What can I do for you Morgan?”

“You gonna tell me what’s going on between you and Y/L/N?” Shit. Fuck. I thought it wasn’t noticeable. Play it cool Spencer.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me pretty boy.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Lies. All lies.

“Reid, come on man. It’s not really hard to notice that something is off between you two. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you interact with her outside of a case and you’re the kid who’s known to ramble to anyone within a five mile radius, nevermind the girl who sits next to you everyday. Did something happen?”

“No...no. Nothing happened and quite frankly I seriously don’t think it’s any of your business to question me about who I do and do not converse with, ok?”

“Geez! Calm down buddy. I’m sorry, ok. I won’t bring it up again.” I once again felt like the biggest dick in the world watching him walk away from where we had been standing. Recognizing that there was nothing I could do about it now, I made my way back to my desk, noticing that Y/N had returned from her lunch break.

After sitting down and working for a bit, I couldn’t help myself. The urge to look at the object of my affections was just too damn insistent. Glancing up at her, I was instantly entranced by the goddess in front of me. She was busy scribbling away at whatever was laid out in front of her, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her face. She was biting her lip in what I would assume was a way to help her concentrate, but all it did was stir things inside of me. Ok this was getting ridiculous.

It was crazy how even the simplest of things, like her eyes crinkling at the corners when she smiled or the way she licked her lips like it was going out of style, would instantly prevent my mind from functioning correctly and make the world around me dissolve until all that existed anymore was her. God those eyes. So intricately designed that even the most beautiful gods and goddesses would be jealous.

WAIT. HER EYES.

Fuck. She was looking at me. She saw me staring directly at her.

As fast as I possibly could, I ducked my head down and cleared my throat, deciding to play it off and pretend like nothing had just happened. Except that that was kind of hard to do when my body decided to say “fuck you” and turned into a goddamn tomato within seconds. Oh god why did I do that? How was I going to get myself out of this already complicated situation? This was bad. This was really bad. Three months of rejections and cold responses down the drain with one stupid, meaningful glance in her direction.

Fuck.

To be continued...

https://safertokiss.tumblr.com/post/623412350001856512/dont-call-me-doctor-part-3

https://safertokiss.tumblr.com/post/623219810962178048/dont-call-me-doctor-part-1

Tag list: @hopebaker @pastathighs @psychedellic-phase @gloryekaterina @sleepysnapesnake

[energyanon]

Surprise reading as I can’t seem to shake off the curiosity. Ok, I’m gonna set them up in relation to this drama. Personally, I don’t believe it. NV would have to have various personality disorders in order for this to be true, among 5000 other reasons why that is not normal, sane human behaviour. But the Instagram.. so many things don’t match up. However, both me and another anon felt fuzzy headed when we were representing her.. maybe it’s not just her overthinking, maybe it’s something more relating to some kind of disorder, but that’s not my place to say. Let’s check it out. Once again I’m gonna type as I go.

I’ve decided for three set ups here: 1. NV, 2. The group chat as a whole as cited on said Instagram, and 3. Henry.

Set up 2. (The GC) first. I picked up NV and got a headache.

First flag: Natalie wanted to be on top of the GC… that’s weird..

Henry is at a distance but he is staring at them both. Starting to feel like I may have been wrong in my judgment here ha.. 😬 I’m really hoping it’s not true cause otherwise that’s fucking sad and NV has genuine issues. But, I’m ok with being wrong.

Alright, let’s start as NV (cause GC, I feel I already know their feelings regardless of if it’s true or not) FYI, I have moved NV to being close but not on top, as one energy on top of - group of energies would be much too hard to decipher.

NV:

Immediate dizziness. I feel very hot and my air con is currently blasting down upon me so it’s not me. The group chat feels very little to NV. like tiny, as in I could step on them. (1. This can mean they’re not even being seen, she barely cares about them, or 2. Can feel more powerful than) as we know in the screenshots the latter was supposedly the case, so I’m not going to cross that out just yet, but it feels more like I’m just not even seeing them. they’re dirt under my feet. They don’t really have her attention and she’s not super bothered by them, but once I brought her attention to it She does want to stamp it out, it’s a complete nuisance. She wants to cover them up. I gave them a little tap, which ended turning into many taps which turned into actually wanting to destroy their rep all together. so she’s angry about it. (At this point I don’t know if she’s angry about This situation being a lie, as in she’s sick of these people doing this to her, or if she’s genuinely angry at the group for exposing her) the tiny dirt now feels a bit bigger but more like a basketball sized nuisance. She still feels bigger than them, it’s just that this is so ANNOYING. Still wants to rip them up into little pieces, she’s annoyed, she’s moving me around a whole bunch, she’s angry, she’s frustrated, she’s tying her hair up, she’s not having it. like it’s fucking annoying. this is all so ANNOYING. She’s stressed, she’s annoyed, she wants this over and done with.

No more energy shifts. Incoming questions.

Q: do you know them?

No I don’t fucking know them

Ok do you think that was a friend who exposed you?

I don’t know I can’t think I- (just a bunch of profanities) [note: it’s like she’s keyboard smashing in my brain right now it’s REALLY annoyed]

Jaw clenched, I’m swaying from side to side my hands are on my hips, hair away from my face I want to move somewhere else but I need to deal with THIS FUCKING THING FIRST ISHDJFKSJXJDSNX.

god it is SO ANNOYING like if you guys were all in front of me right now you’d be heading me yelling and screaming and So irritated I’m so I’m SO Annoyed. I can’t even think of any other questions to ask cause I’m too busy getting keyboard smashed atm.

I’m gonna move to the group to just see if the intentions there are legit. I need a break from NV.

Ok the group:

the group have some anxiety, stomach dropped. They’re not angry they’re just looking at NV. None of them can be sure if It was NV - I think some of them doubt but it was a “get it out just in case” situation. At least one of them feel bad. Nervous jitters from my right leg. You know how you fidget when you’re waiting to get in trouble?

Q: do you believe it was NV?

There are many of them so I’ll just say it as it came up. No (1) I don’t know (majority) one of them is a yeah, feels like the leader of the group but even then the yeah isn’t a solid resounding yeah. But it’s also not like a “yeaahhh?” It’s like I’m just gonna make a decision and it’s yeah.

Q: are you mad that nv is with Henry

I’m not mad (1)

We’re not mad, we just think he could do better. (Majority)

Q: why did you do this

To expose her

Q: why to expose her if you didn’t truly believe it was her

There is a very weak “it was the right thing to do” like.. when I say weak it feels like they don’t even believe that, but they’ve convinced themselves it is..?

Q: at any point did you lie or fabricate the screenshots?

Resounding no, but one solid yes from someone.

Q: Yes?

One of them.

Q: which one

(I was shown one of them, it was one of the purple and black ones, one where there isn’t much purple - I’ll have to check it after)

Ok, my leg isn’t going crazy anymore - there is just an expectant waiting. They’re looking at NV, she’s taller than them but not much taller (not like they’re a basketball being looked down upon, just normal human heights) the feeling is just waiting. Waiting to see if there is a response. That’s it, that’s all I’ve been given I can’t even conjure Up another question. (Sometimes when the energy is done sharing its just done, I can’t force it past that and I’m not in my right to)

Checking Henry:

Henry is tired, he’s disillusioned, he’s just staring into space. The other two are in front of him (facing one another) but he doesn’t see them. Genuinely no thoughts from him it’s complete disassociation. But I did ask if he knew about this situation, he doesn’t seem to know yet.

And yet he’s still disassociating.. the thought “I don’t know what to do” came up, but it was so slow and fractured it was like… you know that video of that kid who’s trying to say have you ever had a dream that you could do anything but he muddles it up for 20 seconds before getting to it? It’s like that (I’ll link it when I’m done)

“I don’t kn- I just I - what do I ev- wh-“ and it keeps going but imagine it taking FOREVER for him to say it.

He’s stuck in the disassociation. Weird choice, but I need to do it. I’m gonna slap him. (Which yes, means slapping myself)

Ok, that didn’t make much difference, he’s still super tired, he still didn’t see the other two but I tried to bring his attention to NV and he was already turning around to leave “I don’t care, I don’t care I’m too tired” and then he turned back and said to NV to clarify “I do care, but I don’t, I’m tired” and I took him out cause he was walking out of there anyway.

Back to NV one last time, and then I’m doing other stuff with my day and then I’ll do CE tonight.

NV

It’s always dizziness with this chick, I swear. Everytime im with her I’m dizzy, I’m losing blood pressure. She’s calmed down at least but fuck I’m dizzy more dizzy than I usually am (can be her, could also be me continuously going into different energies, I don’t tend to feel like this though but don’t rule it out)

Dizzy, Im not tired, but fatigued like I don’t need to sleep, I need to just lay down. I see the GC but they can fuck off I don’t care. She wants to kick them out of the way. As soon as she does she wants to leap out at them and tear them to shreds. She goes from 1- 100 real quick. I don’t want her to destroy my representative for the group, cause I don’t want anything to accidentally manifest in real time for the actual group, so im going to create a little thing that she can destroy instead - just in case there are any energetic consequences of her destroying the representation of the GC. Found a little piece of paper I called it placebo GC and we’re tearing it up.

Ok so, I got her to tear up Placebo GC. She got raveonous with it. I am now coming to believe that NV has some major anger issues. To be fair, im feeling how annoyed she is and I get it honestly it’s the only way to get out this level of emotion. It’s not healthy, therapy is needed for sure, but I’m not gonna sit here like this and say that she’s overreacting cause when you’re feeling like she is, there’s no where else for this to go

She ripped them up, crushed them, tore at them with her teeth, crushed them into a little ball again and chucked them away and then we just screamed “FUCK!” For literally about 3 minutes and she was LIVID. I’ve sat her down now while I write this, she’s still annoyed, she’s not livid.

Interesting to note though, all throughout the screaming there was never a single thought that came up that was like “why can’t they just let US live, why can’t we just BE together” she really doesn’t seem to care about the affect it has on her and Henry’s relationship, she’s just annoyed people are talking shit. Like she just doesn’t care that people won’t accept them.

Oh! I haven’t checked on her vs. HC so lemme do that. I wanna see if she checks up on him too, cause from a normal relationship perspective, this would affect him too. But let’s see.

Yup, ok, nothing from her end, if anything she’s giving him the silent treatment. Like she’s looking at him in the way you do when your partner has said something stupid and you’re too angry to answer. But she doesn’t care that he’s there. I went to him also to see if he would comfort her and he was just a brick wall, kind of more like “here I am I’m showing up but idc. I really idc. Sorry that you’re going through it I guess.” Both of them had the ~aura~ (I don’t know how to explain it on text) of “this did not go as planned” however, they didn’t SAY that, just as an FYI, it was just a bit of a shared feeling translated into words.

That’s it. I’m ending it there. I’ve got life admin to do, be back later for a CE reading as promised. :)