#FINAL PART !!

[thevoidstaredback]

Every man has his breaking point. Danny's is just a bit higher than everyone else's because he's a king and has a high tolerance for absolute bull shit. No matter how strong that bar is, though, one can only bend so far before snapping.

Unfortunately for everyone around him, Danny has reached his breaking point.

"I wish I could get drunk," he stared into his drink longingly, "Or high. But mostly drunk."

"Why do ya say that?" Billy asked, tilting his head curiously to the left.

Danny sighed, "It's a long story."

"I've got time." he shrugged.

"Are ya sure?" Danny raised an eyebrow. "You don't think any emergencies are gonna crop up? Nothing you'll need to go take care of?"

Billy backed off a little, folding into his seat. "What're you talking about? I'm just some kid on the street. I ain't going anywhere."

Danny rolled his head from side to side. "Mostly, I'm talking about the JL meeting the both of us are gonna skip out on tonight."

"What-?"

"C'mon, Captain, it won't do to talk here," he stood, picking up his coffee and waiting for Billy to do the same.

Billy's eyes narrowed as he looked Danny up and down. "I don't recognise you," he whispered, "Who are you."

Danny produced another calling card from his sleeve as he sipped his drink, holding it in front of himself but not handing it over. When Billy was looking at it, he flipped it over. The white background turned matte black, all the runes in the Ouroboros turning so white that they glowed. The DP in the very middle tinted blue, pulsing with toxic green energy, slightly cold to the touch. The edges started to frost over.

Quickly, Billy pulled the card Danny had given him before from the inner pocket of his jacket. It, too, had changed to match the one Danny held, though there was no longer a DP in the middle. Instead, it said 'Phantom' in fancy calligraphy.

"No way," the kid muttered, his expression awestruck, "Phantom? That's you? No shit?"

Danny chuckled, tucking the card away again, "No shit, kid. Don't tell anyone, though. You're the only one who knows."

"Really?" he squeaked.

"Really."

***

Having someone know his whole story was refreshing, just as he's sure Billy felt good to have someone know his, too. That didn't stop him from feeling bad about dumping it all on the poor kid.

"I still wish I could get drunk," Phantom lamented."

Constantine looked up from the book he was reading. "You can't get drunk?"

"Nope."

"How'd ya figure that one out, kid?"

"Please don't call me a kid."

That's not good. The blond marked the page before setting the book to the side. Phantom had never actually asked him to stop calling him a kid. "What's wrong?" He didn't normally do the whole 'feelings' things, but the was an exception.

Phantom sighed long and sad. He didn't look up from the carpet. "I told you they were going to ask invasive questions."

"Who was it?" It was more of a demand then a question.

"Red Robin,"

"Red- I thought you would've skipped town when we were done there? I sure as hell did."

"I know you did, but I decided to stick around for a bit. Wander, y'know? Red Robin caught up to me and would leave me alone."

Oh, oh no. Those were tears. Were they? Yeah, shit, they are! John is not equipped to handle this!

Phantom sniffled. "He asked me how I died."

Fuck.

John Constantine is not easy to anger. Sure, he gets tired, and irritated, and a whole slew of emotions, but he is very slow to anger.

Phantom, he knows, is not a child. The ghost can very much take care of himself in basically every way one could think of. He saved the world on his own, several times, when he was fourteen. He became a King and Protector when he was fourteen. He died when he was fourteen.

Right now, all he could see was the child who hadn't ever been properly laid to rest. It was hard not to call Phantom a child when he seemed so small, seeking comfort from anyone. Phantom was crying. He'd retreated to the House and locked himself in Constantine's room, only talking when he was ready to, but he'd waited to cry.

Phantom didn't like crying. Every person in the JLD knew this.

No. John Constantine is not quick to anger, but he is scary when he reaches that point. Batman might be the night and vengeance and all that shit, but John Constantine was wrathful.

He sat beside Phantom and let the ghost lean into him and cry. He didn't like dealing with feelings, but this was a child in need of comfort and he was the only one around to offer it. "Do you really want me to stop calling you 'kid'?"

A sniffle and a small head shake. "No."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"...sure."

"How old are you really? As a ghost, not as a human or a halfa. How old are you?"

"Fourteen." he mumbled, "I'll never be any older than fourteen, John," he was getting a bit hysterical now, "I'll never be any older than fourteen! I-I died and-and now I have to rule and-and people keep asking and no one believes me and-!" A sob cut him off, heavy with grief and wet with tears. He cried for hours, giving up on trying to form words. Constantine let him, ignoring the wet patches on his shirt. Eventually, Phantom's sobs died down into hiccups. "I didn't...I'm- I'm sorry."

"It's alright, mate," he meant it, really and truly.

Phantom rubbed his eyes, "I'm gonna go hide somewhere."

"Not gonna share where?"

"No, I want to be alone for a while." He paused at the door, "Whatever you're gonna do, will you leave Captain Marvel out of it?"

Odd request, but, "Alright," he nodded, "I'll talk to the others." And by 'talk', he means lecture. There are boundaries that one shouldn't cross, and not asking the dead how they died should've been obvious! With his League issued communicator, John called an emergency meeting in one hour, required attendance, barring Captain Marvel. First things first, though, he needed to talk to Deadman.

Part 7 Storyboard

Tag List:

@zaiothe4th @someonebored0100 @wolfeyedwitch @angelheartgamer @nymanders @princessbelix @luminanightfall @kgne-k @bianca-hooks123 @reigning-catsanddogs @sassywombatranchhorse @dontfightmecauseillcry @soul-lime @anarinette @serasvictoria02 @the-chaos-goblin-child @confusedshades @caicie @fantasticstoryteller @randomshtickidk @itsberrydreemurstuff @blueliac @i-love-mangoes @nymanders @highimpactemotions @anarinette @sleepingdead96 @orbr @tkiesai @atomicsheepscientist @8000fangirl @shower-phantom-ideas @blep-23 @aki-bara @chasing-liberosis @weirwulf20 @mynewhyperfixation

[laurenkmyers]

kiseki + chen yi manhandling ai di (part 3/3- in chronological order)

[slutt4ellie]

Hearts Over Hierarchy

PT4 - Forgiveness Or Farewell

Loser!Ellie x Popular!Reader

masterslist

PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 3

Do opposites really attract?

Summery - Ellie has the least bit of concern of  rekindling what you broke, and on the other hand you and Emily haven’t talked about what happened.

Warnings -> Miscommunication / THIS CHAPTER IS MESSY NGL. / Sexual themes mentions / Cut off sex 🤨 / Reader is PROBLEMATIC / feelings are heavily disregarded / brief mentions of Skater!Ellie / (Lmk if I missed anything else.)

WC: 5.1k

(Not proofread)

You’ve tried again and again to get Ellie to talk to you.

She just won’t, she’s blocked your number, has avoided you through campus, and it almost feels like before you knew Ellie.

She just hardly made an acknowledgment she even fucking existed. And that you hated.

Because now since Ellie’s entered your life, picturing her not in it seemed impossible.

And it’s been only a week since Ellie saw you swapping spit with someone you assured her was just your “friend”.

And you genuinely feel like you’re going crazy.

Because if you can’t last a week without her, you don’t know how you’re going to last any longer. It just fucking sucked.

You wanted everything to just sink into the ground and forget any of this happened.

You especially wanted to forget everything that happened with Emily.

Despite you saying you were going to talk to Emily you haven’t got around to it.

Not because you didn’t want to, but the night after the party she had family stuff she had to do. It was planned before everything between the two of you happened, so it couldn’t be avoided.

At least that’s what she’s been telling you.

You’ve texted her a lot, it feels like a parallel with you and Ellie almost, you guys both haven’t discussed what you are, or what is even happening between you two but again it seems oddly romantic.

And that’s just through texting.

Another thing that you’ve been blocking is what happened the night of the party. The one where you and Emily kissed. The drive home was almost silent. Just you and Emily reminiscing in silence both trying to figure out what the fuck happened.

But what unfolded once you reached inside the comforts and privacy of the sorority was something you could have probably gone without.

Because not only did you and Emily kiss once you reached inside, but it resulted in you waking up in her bed.

So yeah. You fucked up.

You’re whole life seems like it’s been thrown for a curveball and you’re just desperately trying to have it be stable.

You don’t know what you want right now.

Or more so who you want.

Emily’s been there for so long of your life, and do you really want to break that simply because you can’t choose between her or Ellie.

No..

You just can’t wrap your head around why it felt like the kiss between you two was something that had to happen, rather than you wanting it to happen. The same when you guys slept together.

Every time you kissed Ellie you didn’t once feel obligated.

So with that knowledge the answer should be easy?

With one person you feel forced, and compelled, and with the second person it feels almost natural.

Fuck if only it was that easy.

After thinking for a solid 5 seconds you decided to make a split decision, that sulking in bed for any longer then you already had wasn’t going to settle anything.

So you groaned as you lifted your body getting a good glance at your bedroom.

Ellie’s skateboard.

Right! She left it in your car after that night.

All you have to do is give it back? You know where her dorm is.

That can give you two a proper chance of actually talking, no Emily, no one near you two. Just you and Ellie.

All you can hope is that she’ll hear you out. That’s all you need.

So that’s what you did.

You put on some clothes looking a bit overly dressed for a simple return of a skateboard but you wanted to look nice…for yourself..?

Because this really isn’t about Ellie finding you attractive it’s about her forgiving you, maybe even rebuilding a possible friendship.

At least that’s what you hoped.

Because as soon as you got out of your car 10 minutes off campus you see the student dorms.

It’s been a little bit since you’ve been to Ellie’s dorm but you had it memorized. So it really didn’t take long.

Because soon you were faced with her door.

It should be as simple as just knocking, but you’re choked up.

Which is weird because you never usually feel yourself get extremely nervous, while interacting with a girl.

But It’s not really just a girl.

It’s Ellie.

You look at her skateboard and quickly remind as to why you’re actually here.

And with that you knock.

It didn’t take long till you were hearing a trail of footsteps coming from the opposite side of the door.

A voice who’s is not Ellie’s saying “I’ll get it El..”

Fuck- fuck is she with a girl right now?

Now you’re wondering why you even came here because is Ellie hooking up with someone? and your looking fucking desperate on the other end with a stupid skateboard and a shitty apology.

But no. Ellie wasn’t hooking up with someone.

It was just Dina.

Dina was the first to hear about what transpired that night. She knows because Ellie called her immediately after the matter.

She was sobbing and her voice was incoherent.

Just a shit ton of hiccups and desperate attempts to get back air she was losing due to your actions. She was really on the brim of a full blown panic attack but some how she managed to keep that factor under wraps.

Dina pulled up a good 5 minutes after, she wasn’t stupid and knew something happened, but she just didn’t except the site which she pulled up on.

Ellie was sitting on the edge of the sidewalk head deep in her palms fully sobbing.

She hated how she was crying because of you.

It made her feel dumb that you got her in a position that resembled a toddler getting told no.

Either way once she felt a hand on her shoulder and Dina’s voice coming through soft she knew it was over.

Because then more tears were coming through and she stood up with the intent to get into Dina’s car. Try to ignore the awkward question.

Basically just not trying to talk or let the thought of you flow freely through her mind any longer.

“Ellie..?” Dina hugs her softly.

Ellie’s arms wrap out Dina instantly and her head goes deep in her shoulder.

A attempt to hide the fact she was bawling. Which was not thought through, yet did give Ellie comfort.

“What happened.” Dina says pulling back to wipe Ellie’s tears.

Ellie just shakes her head and let’s out a out of breath. “Her..”

There’s only one “her” Dina thought of and it was you.

And yet she didn’t know the story at that moment it’s all she needed to hear that you were cut out of Ellie’s life.

Because not once in their 10+ years of friendship has she ever seen Ellie like that.

Ellie’s had meltdowns, like literally everyone in her life. But even when Cat broke up with Ellie her girlfriend of a year she didn’t have a reaction like this one.

She didn’t completely understand what you could have done to get Ellie in this position but she knows it has to be bad.

“You need to leave.” Dina says, her eyes seem mad and directed to you.

“I just want to talk.? Please.” You beg out desperately.

“Leave.” Dina shakes her head once again.

“I have her skateboard..” You hold out allowing Dina’s gaze to trail off of you and onto the skateboard.

Dina reaches out her palm. A flat surface so you can easily give it to her.

“D-dina can I just talk to her..?” You ask again. Not yet handing the skateboard to her.

Dina’s wants to laugh in your face, because it’s ironic how you ended up kissing someone, yet you’re outside acting like you could cry.

“Are you fucking joking?” Dina says now stepping out of the dorm shutting the door gently trying not to have Ellie assume somethings happening.

“W-what?” You say.

And now Dina does laugh, making you feel like an idiot for even coming.

“You weren’t the fucking one who picked up Ellie after she saw you!-” Dina emphasized on the you by pushing her finger right in the middle of your collarbone. “Fucking kissing Emily or whatever the fuck her name is!”

“I know-I know I fucked up.” You shake your head.

“Is that supposed to offer comfort?” Dina says.

“But it’s not like that?!” You try, but it goes ignored by Dina.

“Are you trying to justify it or some shit?” Dina says.

“W-what no!” You shake your head really fast.

“I’m not! I know what I did- was insanely fucked up! And if I could take it back I would?” You say.

“Well you can’t.” Dina says.

“Stop trying?” She continues.

“Just leave Ellie alone. It’s over and you made that decision..” Dina sighs out.

You look her up and down. Trying to think of anything so Dina won’t walk out just yet.

“..You block me or her?” You spit out nervously. You really don’t know why you’re asking that. It just feels like you should try to talk as much as you can. Maybe Dina will see you actually do care.

“Does it matter?” Dina rubs her hand down her face, a result of being annoyed by you.

“Yeah?” You look up at her.

“Me.” Dina says shaking her head.

“You’re not good for her.” Dina says looking at you.

“I’ve never seen Ellie like that before.” Dina try’s to explain.

She doesn’t like you, or thinks you deserve any sort of explanation, but she thinks you do deserve to realize how much you actually did hurt Ellie.

“As in.?” You questioned.

“It doesn’t matter.” Dina shakes her head slowly going back to Ellie’s dorm door.

“It does!?” You say desperately. About to get another word out.

But both of you gazes are turned at the door when you hear a click signalling it opened.

Ellie has a grey hoodie and baggy jeans on. Her eyes are red.

You know she’s been crying.

Before seeing you in front of Dina’s body she talks. “Dina why are you just fucking out her-“

Ellie gets her voice cut off because she’s looking at you.

Her frown comes back, and her eyes are glossy once again.

You don’t say anything, neither does Dina, and obviously Ellie.

So now the whole hallway is filled with a shit ton of awkward silence..

Dina decides to break it first.

“I was just sending her off.” Dina says turning to look at Ellie.

Ellie hardly responds her gaze pierced on the floor. “Ah..”

“Can we talk?” You say and Dina sighs, she knows Ellie’s going to say yes..

Ever since Ellie sobered up and her anger partially subsided she wanted to reach out to you first.

Dina told her nothing good is going to come from it, and since your number was now blocked on Ellie’s phone she couldn’t really so much.

Dina’s been glued to Ellie’s side so it made it impossible to even see you.

“Yeah.” Ellie immediately responds before looking at Dina.

“I’ll be fine.” She offers a comforting smile.

Dina groans but nods, she knows she can’t fight it. Because Ellie seems to stick to things when her minds focused on it.

So she complied telling Ellie she’ll grab the two of them some food.

And soon you’re in Ellie’s dorm, somewhere where you haven’t been in about 2 weeks.

“S-sorry it’s messy.” Ellie finally pulls down her hood sitting on the edge of her single bed..

“It-it’s fine really..”

Ellie out of nervousness subconsciously start’s fidgeting with her two fingers before spitting out some that feels like fire on her tongue.

“Are you and Emily dating..” Ellie clears her throat as tears again are brewing.

“No.” You say fast shaking you head.

As you feel a singular tear fall down your left cheek you wipe it off. Ellie notices and looks at you.

“I-I don’t even know why I kissed her.” You say.

Ellie doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t want to forgive you, she just doesn’t really want to see you crying, despite the state you had her in a week ago.

“Okay..” Ellie says.

“I don’t know what you want me to do with that information.” It came out cold, but right now she couldn’t act like she was happy.

“I’m not waiting for you to fucking figure out who you want.” Ellie says having you quickly cut her off.

“It’s not like that?” You shake your head.

“Mhm..” Ellie sighs.

“Did you guys-“ Ellie starts but you cut her off.

“Ellie?..” You don’t want to answer it, because the only thing you could reply with would be the truth. That being yes.

“It’s literally a yes or no question.” Ellie presses.

But when no response comes from you, she got her answer.

“Dina was right- you should just leave.”

“Ellie-“ You sigh out.

“No you need to leave.” She says standing up. Clearly her throat so her voice appears as more full.

“I-I can’t..” You say looking at her also standing up.

“Please just leave.” Ellie looks down now tearing up. Her walls feel like their crumbling all over again. The last thing she wants to do is cry in front of you.

You hesitantly move your hand to her cheek.

Ellie’s eyes close and she leans into your touch.

“Do you like me.” Ellie ask.

“Yes..” You say not hesitating.

“Do you like her.” Ellie ask.

“Ellie she’s my best friend.” You say.

Ellie sighs and pulls back opening her eyes. The lights again were just turned on. “Yeah well she clearly fucking loves you?”

Ellie feels like she’s growing crazy the more she talks to you. It’s like everyone but you sees it.

“Dina’s my best friend and i’ve never wanted to make out with her?! Fuck let alone sleep with her!?” She says.

“You don’t get it Ellie!” You yell.

“Then fucking explaining dude!” Ellie yells back.

“Am I a fucking joke to you?” Ellie ask.

“What..” You say looking at her.

“Am I a FUCKING joke.” Ellie yells right in your face. Something that you’re unfortunately getting used to..

Neither of you willing to admit that yelling about it isn’t going to fix shit.

After a long pause you finally talk.

“Would you be my friend if I hypothetically started dating Emily.” You say it like your tired. And to be fair you are.

Ellie doesn’t respond, she just looks down embarrassed. Her anger fading.

Because no.

She wouldn’t be.

And you know she wouldn’t be. Just by the fact Ellie’s eyes can’t meet yours and her teeth are slotted in her bottom lip are a clear sign she wouldn’t be.

Her mannerisms made that clear.

“Exactly.” You say.

“I doubt Emily would want to be friends either.” You clear your throat.

Ellie looks at you.

She doesn’t know what to do, because now she’s currently feeling multiple emotions. It feels like everything is flowing through her mind and she can’t control it.

That she hates.

Because she doesn’t like feeling anger when she looks at you. It’s shitty.

So she takes a step forward and literally just hugs you.

You instantly wrap your arms around Ellie falling into her embrace which grants you in warmth. It’s been a bit since you’ve guys been physical but it wasn’t off.

I guess something you didn’t anticipate is the light kiss on your forehead which followed. But either way you didn’t mention it. It’s literally only been a week and before everything went down with Emily you and Ellie were obviously often being physically. That including kissing.

So even though she hasn’t kissed you in awhile the kiss to your head wasn’t shocking.

“I would never make you pick.” Ellie sighs pulling back.

“Y-you know that.” Ellie smiles lightly. It’s more to comfort you. Because even though she doesn’t want to make you pick she doesn’t want to face you with someone else.

“I just- I don’t think I could be your friend if you dated her.” She looks down.

“And that’s not even fucking supposed to persuade you. I just- like couldn’t.” Ellie says her arms still wrapped around you.

Yours eyes met and it feels again like you again, have a decision. She moves her hand to your cheek and tucks a strand behind your ear.

Ellie’s eyes glance to your lips and she internally leans in.

You also lean in.

You don’t really know who kissed who. But once your lips met the two of you both started making out hungrily.

There was little pants as Ellie’s lips moved to the side of your lips, meeting your jaw, then neck. She sucks accompanied with a bite which is going to leave a mark. You know that and she does too, that being the reason Ellie why she even felt the need to leave a hickey..

She wanted it to be known.

“Fuck..” Ellie pants out moving the both of you to the bed sliding off her hoodie in the process.

It doesn’t take long till Ellie’s pressed on top of you refusing to break the kiss.

Her hands slip on the hoodie out of pure nervousness but she eventually gets it off.

It leaves her in just her sports while she’s desperately trying not to break the kiss between you two.

Your hands hastily find Ellie’s jean button and you don’t waste time to unbutton them..

While her jean button is getting undone her hands go under your shirt squeezing your boobs, again still not breaking the kiss.

It happened fast, because the moment went from making out to your hand inside Ellie’s jeans cuffing get pussy.

As you’re rubbing light circles on Ellie’s clit feeling the wetness through her boxers there’s a consecutive number of knocks.

Ellie’s whole face turns red and she starts to pull back from you as your remove you hand from her jeans.

You guys are both just silently looking at each other wondering if there really was a knock. Or if it was your mind playing tri-

There’s another knock and Dina’s voice talks. “Yo- can one of you grab the door my hands are full”

Ellie scrambles and helps you off the bed first before standing up and buckling back up her jeans.

She watches you slowly walk to the door straightening you clothes in the process.

As you walk to her dorm door you see Ellie’s now back in her grey hoodie giving a signal you can open the door.

Even though you can you hesitate having your hand shadow the door handle, hesitating to open it.

But after swallowing a big chunk of air you do. You see Dina’s gaze travel back and forth between you and Ellie.

Based on Ellie’s flushed cheeks, and how she’s purposefully avoiding Dina’s gaze, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that’s the fuck was happening.

Or what was going to happen?

“You two were gonna fuck!” Dina accuses putting the food on Ellie’s studying table.

“W-what no!” Ellie shakes her head nervously.

“W-we weren’t!” Ellie talks.

“I was gone for like 13 minutes??” Dina then turns to look directly at you.

“Fuck Ellie you fold so fast?” Dina groans.

“No I don’t??” Ellie says embarrassed walking towards Dina falling right beside you.

“Yeah sure you don’t?” Dina looks back at Ellie rolling her eyes.

“So you two didn’t kiss?” Dina questions tilting her head.

Ellie just groans and grabs your hand out of instinct, again like always she doesn’t really think. She just does it.

“You’re so weird?.” Ellie sighs.

Dina nods and rolls her eyes. “You two literally were about to fuck after I was home for like 5 minutes, but you know! i’m weird..” Dina mutters.

“We weren’t!” Ellie says putting her head in her free hand.

Emily was coming back to the sorority today. And you were nervous.

And if you’re being honest with yourself that was an understatement, you didn’t know what the fuck to do.

It was late and you’ve been staring at your ceiling for what feels like a few hours.

After you and Ellie kissed, you decided to stay the night. Where you guys did end up sleeping together..

And the rest of that night was filled with kissing, cuddling, staying in each others arms all night, and a few hickeys which you now needed to cover.

But then again after that moment with Ellie it became ultimately clear that with Ellie it wasn’t forced..

And with Emily it was.

You hated yourself for feeling that way and there’s a part of you that wishes maybe those feelings could be reciprocated.

Because then everything would be easy.

But no.

You’ve only ever seen Emily as a friend.

And that’s something you had to face.

So when you hear the door open and the other girls greeting Emily you knew she was back.

And you knew you had to talk to her,

As much as you wanted to run away.

You had to..You had to face an awkward ass conversation.

So reluctantly that’s what you did, you turned over getting off your bed, putting on some makeup to cover the few hickeys, and sucked up any nervous feelings, making your way down the stairs.

It didn’t take long till your eyes meeting blue ones.

That’s when the guilt struck. Because you haven’t told Emily what the fuck happened while she was gone, and it’s dawning that you again led another person on. It was Ellie first and now her.

Emily smiles and walks to the end of the stairs where you were coming down.

“Hey!” Emily says hugging you.

“Hi..!” You’re arms wrapped around Emily as she hug you, the thing was you couldn’t hide that your voice was off. Having Emily pick up on it.

Like she always done.

“What’s up.?” Emily uses one hand to cuff your cheek.

“Can we talk.” You clear your throat.

Emily nods and smiles trying to cover her nervousness.

She didn’t understand what could have happened to have you want to talk to her immediately?

“Yeah..course..!” Emily frowns then covers it quickly plastering on an obvious fake smile.

Which you ignored.

With that you and Emily trail to your bedroom.

Once the door is closed Emily sits on your bed and you’re nervously looking down on her.

“W-what’s up?” Emily says.

You look at her for a few seconds. You don’t know how to say it? How to tell her that just a few days after you left you and Ellie kissed? Then slept together.

“I-Em i’m so sorry..” You tear up.

“What..?” Emily frowns again.

Emily stands up and holds your cheeks.

She’s obviously still oblivious, she’s not sure what could have happened to have to freak out so fast?

“What happened..” Emily kisses your nose.

You close your eyes and finally spit out the words that were longing on your tongue..

“Emily me and Ellie we-“

Emily doesn’t even let you finish you sentence before she pulls back.

“Emily..” You reach out and she looks at her.

“I’m not doing this..anymore.” Emily shakes her head tearing up.

You look at her. “Emily you know I love you so much” You nod.

“I just-“ You try to talk.

“You love Ellie..don’t you?” Emily shakes her head running her hand down her face.

“I-I don’t kn-“ You can’t spit it out.

“You guys deserve each other. Don’t worry. You really do.” Emily puts on a fake smile before clearing her throat.

“I’m not gonna fucking beg for your love anymore.” Emily says.

“Emily-“ You try but she just shakes her head.

“It’s fine really.” Emily nods.

“You’ve never begging for my love?” You say again stepping forward which just leads her to step back once again.

“I do love you- you’re my best friend.” You wipes you own tears.

“Exactly!- you don’t fucking..you don’t see me like that. So i’m done” Emily says her voice choking up in the middle.

And it’s true, she was done. She was done.

So now you’re just alone with your thoughts, finally letting it dawn on you what the fuck has happened..

You lost Emily.

The girl who you’ve known for years, left your room on the brink of tears and now it’s starting to feel like you just permanently closed a chapter.

Now no longer being able to open it.

You don’t know what to do. And to be honest that really scares you.

You go back and forth between a decision for a few seconds..

You finally grab your phone out of your pocket, shaky hands and nervousness coursing through your body.

You hesitate to click Ellie’s contact but you do.

Right now you only have one person and that’s her.

Emily was a person you could always go to. whether it be serious or stupid she was always there.

But this time it was about her? And you didn’t know how to handle it without any reassurance.

Leaving Ellie as the next option.

It rang for a few seconds before Ellie’s voice came through. She sounds like she’s been sleeping since you notice a rasp and tired tone.

“Hi?” Ellie says yawning.

“Hi.” Your tone is shaking and you sound like your about to cry. Ellie notices that.

“What’s up?” You can already hear sounds of Ellie standing up probably deciding whether or not you need help or something.

“Where you at?” Ellie questions.

“I’m okay- just wanted to talk?” You don’t want her to go out of her way to come all the way to the  sorority.

Ellie didn’t have a car and it was late. You didn’t want her outside.

“Yeah we can talk when I get there? You just home.?” Ellie ask as you hear shuffles only assuming she was putting on her shoes.

“Ellie-“ You sigh choking back a shit ton of tears.

Even though you didn’t explicitly tell Ellie that you’re home she assumed. She could hear a few girls in the background talking so she just took that as a sign.

Ellie talks again. Opening her dorm room door. “It’s okay i’ll be over in like 10 minutes bab-“

Ellie hung up before she could even finish her sentence and now you’re again left with your thoughts.

And that’s when you finally come to the conclusion.

You’re 100% the problem.

You’ve taken Emily and Ellie’s feelings for granted and it’s showing.

You lost Emily and you’re not exactly sure why Ellie sticks around. It doesn’t feel fair to hold both of them by a thread and it was proven when Emily’s broke.

Now it was only time till Ellie’s did.

At least that’s what you were starting to believe.

“Baby..” Ellie sighs leaning into hug you. Putting her skateboard to the side.

You can only respond by hugging her back tears now starting to fall.

“What happened?” Ellie ask pulling back and wiping your tears accompanied with light kisses to the nose.

“Emily..you don’t have to worry about her anymore-“ You clear your and rub your eyes.

“I don’t think we’re friends anymore.” You say trying to plaster a fake smile. Causing Ellie to frown.

Ellie could honestly care less if Emily left, it’s the state that she sees your left in which hurts.

Your hands are shaking when they wrap around her, tears are flowing, and the confident tone she can distinct you for, is gone?

It feels like you’re leaving her, pushing back.

“I’m so sorry-“ Ellie try’s but you wave your hand dismissively.

“No-it’s fine. Really.” You say.

“Why’d she leave.” Ellie ask.

“I told her we-“ You start.

Ellie cuts you off with yet another hug. You can feel her shake her head on your shoulder.

She doesn’t need an explanation. She can use context clues to understand why Emily decided to leave.

But that’s when you finally spit it out.

What’s been going through your mind.

“I can’t do this Ellie.”

You look straight at her.

“What do you mean you can’t do this..?” Ellie now ask.

“You need someone who is good for you. Dina said it and she was right..i’m not good for you?..” You say.

“You can’t be serious.” Ellie looks straight at you.

“What-?” You breathlessly sigh.

“I’m not doing this with you again?” Ellie shakes her head.

And when she said that, you assumed she’d leave. Ending two relationships you had in just one night.

Even though on the contrary it seemed like this would be the worst thing to ever happen for you it gave comfort.

Because with no one around you can’t hurt anyone else…hypothetically at least..?

But Ellie doesn’t leave she just keeps going, and now it feels like her mouth and thoughts might just not stop.

Like she can’t control it.

“Why-why can’t you just understand I don’t fucking want anyone else?” Ellie’s at this point was begging.

Begging for you to understand.

“I’ll leave you alone- if you really do want me too.” Ellie says.

“But since we kissed it’s like the only thing I think about.” She needs you to get that she doesn’t want someone else.

She just wants you.

It’s the reason she’s been going through thick and thin for you. She just needs you to understand.

“I love you..?” It sounded more like a question then a statement.

Because Ellie hesitated to say it even though she meant it.

Plus it being the first time Ellie had ever said that to you made the whole situation all that more intense.

Because you don’t know if you can mentally accept the fact you just might love her back.

So you just look at her.

And now Ellie’s embarrassed.

Because never would she ever want you to feel forced to say it? I guess that’s why it hurt when you didn’t say it back.

Because if you’re not forced and you seemed to have no interest in saying it. You really didn’t love her the way she loved you. That hurt?

Because it put into reality you and Ellie truly weren’t on the same page.

That maybe she was imagining it-

Ellie probably didn’t notice that you conflicted gaze turned more into a determined one as she spaced out.

Because..

Your lips are suddenly on Ellie’s.

Ellie can only respond by pushing her lips hardly back on yours holding you cheeks not leaving room for her to pull back.

And with that, you finally something that’s been longing.

“I love you too.” You say into her mouth.

That’s all Ellie needed to hear to realize it wasn’t some fling.

You loved her.

And she wasn’t letting that go.

A/N -> I KNOW THIS IS BAD.

I DONT WANNA TALK ABT IT.

I literally had zero fucking clue how to end this shit so everything happens extremely fast.

(mainly because I was making the plot as I got to it! 🌚)

BUT! I was gonna do a sad ending where the reader ends up alone so be happy I didn’t stick with that. 🙂

Honestly I was just trying to close off this story so I can put my main focus on Fated Hearts Start With Fire since I have SOO much planned with that 🙏

But I hope you guys enjoyed reading because despite it being ass it is the last one for this series.

(Like and reblogs are always appreciated!)

Taglist : @bready101 @onlinelesbo @amberputh @seraphicsentences @a-little-bit-of-everybody @zoehxnji @graviewaviee @i-feel-violated @elliesexual @macaroni676 @liasxeatt @m4rshm3ll0

[png-magician]

[whiskeyghoul]

All Tied Up || [Spencer Reid X f!Reader] Pt.4

A/N: Welcome to: The porn chapter part 2 electric boogaloo. This one is even longer, since it's the final part. I hope you like it. I took a bit longer to write it too. Lmk if there are any ideas for other stories you'd be interested in me writing and I will see what I can do.

Tags: shibari, aftercare, implied aftercare, softdom spencer reid, piv, safe, protected.

Previous part || First part

You laid on the bed, looking up at Spencer who had just taken his belt off. It fell to the ground with a soft clink, his pants did nothing to hide his arousal. Your eyes landed on it, taking in just how large he would be. How beautifully he could fill you up. It made your mouth water slightly at the idea. Spencer saw you eye him and he smirked, “Like what you see?” he asked teasingly. “I’m not complaining.” You said back, a streak of confidence in your current compromising position. You were still trying to catch your breath after climaxing around his fingers. Spencer let out another breathy laugh. 

Spencer took his sweater off, discarding it to the floor together with his belt. He padded over to the bed, climbing back onto the bed. It dipped with his weight, your eyes following his movements. He sat up on his knees, leaning back and slowly unbuttoning his button up. Eyes trained on those fingers, how expertly he moved them. You could almost feel them inside you again. Your tongue darted out, wetting your lips unconsciously. He shrugged off the button down, exposing his torso and allowing ample time to look him over. He was toned, you knew he had to be but somehow under the button down and sweaters he just seemed skinny. Now that he had taken off his shirt you could see some of the clear muscle definition. He wasn’t muscled like Derek is, but you quite liked the sight in front of you. Maybe even preferred it to the more muscled physique that so many men tried to achieve. Spencer leaned down, placing his hands on either side of your body as he sat between your opened thighs. Leaning over you, his short curls falling forward slightly. He looked into your eyes and you stared back. Deep amber, brown honey almost completely swallowed by the black of his pupils. But you could still see some of the colors that you have seen so many times. His eyes flicked down towards your lips, then back up again to make eye contact. “I want to kiss you.” He said it so close to you you felt his breath ghost over your lips. “Go ahead.” You could barely finish the two little words before he pressed his lips against yours. You could feel the slight scruff of his day old shave as his soft lips molded against yours. It was soft, tender and gentle. A gentle sigh escaped your lips as you felt his hand move up your body, settling at the back of your neck to hold you close. The shift caused him to press his chest to yours.

Your nipples rubbed the skin of his chest, a soft moan escaping you and Spencer took it as his chance to deepen the kiss. His tongue invaded your mouth, licking and tasting around. Pressing together, the kiss turned from gentle to needy. His hand grabbing the hair at the back of your neck, pulling it slightly to turn your head upwards, eliciting a moan in the progress. The need to touch him took over. To pull him close and feel your arms wrapped around him. Running your hands through his soft hair was all you could think about. His hips ground into yours. The still clothed erection rubbing against the wetness of your panties. The friction caused a soft groan to be emitted by Spencer. The sound came from the back of his throat and you swallowed it up greedily. You wanted more of it, more of his sounds, his taste, his feeling. As much as he was willing to give at that moment. You moved your hips, grinding against him to pull another groan from him. Spencer let out a soft gasp, you grinned in turn. “I’ll wipe that grin off your face.” Spencer groaned, pulling on your hair again. A gasp leaving your lips, “I can’t wait.” You watched as he moved his free hand down, the sound of his zipper gliding down felt louder than it was in reality. He slipped his hand in his pocket afterwards, fishing out a foil packet that you recognized all too easily as a condom. This was really happening, not some weird day dream about your co-worker, he was right in front of you within reach and yet you couldn’t touch him. Spencer pulled his cock from the confines of his pants, which slipped down slightly to hang around his hips. Exposing the tuft of hair right at the base of his beautiful cock. 

That’s what it was. Beautiful. Probably the most beautiful you had seen. It was long, slightly curved and smooth. The vein at the bottom was just begging for you to run your tongue over. Spencer wrapped his hand around the base, giving himself a few strokes. You bit the inside of your cheek, knowing you had been staring you looked up to see a half smirk on his lips. His look sent another shiver down your body. The thought of him inside you made your pussy clench, butterflies filling your stomach at the scene playing in your head. The sound of the condom being opened made your eyes flick down again, watching him roll the latex over the head and fully down the length. His right hand found its way back to your pussy, pushing the lace aside again before slipping his pointer finger and middle finger in effortlessly. You clenched around him, excited to be feeling filled up again. Spencer made a scissoring motion, spreading you open further before removing his fingers and gathering up some of your wetness. You watched him spit in his hand before stroking his cock again, wetting the length with the combined liquids. 

Your hands wanted to move, touch him, urge him to be faster and enter you. Being tied in place made a frustrated groan leave your lips again. “Feeling impatient?” Spencer teased and you rolled your eyes at the comment. You were anything but impatient, he was just taking his sweet time. “I want you.” It was a needy sound, a plea for him. Spencer swallowed at your words, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down tempting you to kiss and bite it. You didn’t have time to, though, when he descended down on you, lips finding yours again as you felt the tip of his cock slide through your soaked folds. A surprised moan leaving your lips. He ground his hips against you and you gladly reciprocated. Moving your hips in perfect synchronization with him. Your tongue greedily searches out his, swallowing the soft groans that left him. His pants discarded along the way. He guided himself to have his tip rub against your clit a few times before he pushed it in.

The stretch made you gasp, your eyes fluttering close at the pleasurable feeling. Spencer’s hands grabbed your waist, pulling you closer against him as he entered you. Slowly, so slowly, he filled you. A low groan falling from his lips. Like you had thought, it was perfect. His cock was thick enough to make you feel full, the length hitting you right where it felt best. His pelvis met yours, skin to skin as he was completely inside of you. His right hand splayed over your pubic area, lifting his head to look at you. He gently pressed down, causing you to moan his name at the pressure on your walls. The feeling caused you to clench and in turn he let out a groan. Your name tumbled from his lips with admiration “God… I can feel myself inside you.” He said it almost like he was in awe of you. “Fuck, Spencer, move please.” You begged softly, grinding against him, rolling your hips to get any amount of friction.

Spencer sucked his teeth, a small grin as he pinned you in place to stop you from moving. Another whine released from your throat. “I’m going to be taking my time with you.” He said the words slowly, pulling his hips back as he spoke until just the tip was left inside of you. His breath hitched, punctuating his sentence. “You’re going to enjoy taking it just how I give it to you.” His hand stayed on your pubic area before he snapped his hips forward, filling you completely again. The tip hit your cervix. Strangled moan escaping you at the pressure of it, coupled by the groan that left Spencer, it sounded plain erotic. Spencer’s head dipped down, his lips finding the skin of your jaw before moving downward. Lips and teeth and tongue on your skin, down to your neck, your collar bone before they found the swell of your breasts, leaving probable hickies in his way. Your bra still pushed under them allowed his lips to latch to your nipple, warm and wet lips enveloping the left one, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin caused you to arch your back. Needing more of his touch.

He repeated the motion of moving his hips back slowly, pulling out near completely before pushing back into you in one fell swoop. Continuously hitting that same spot, causing waves of pleasure to move through your body, the slow pulling out working to calm you down to a certain extent. Each time a soft whine or whimper escaped you, wanton sounds that were needy and high pitched. If you were to hear yourself back you’d deny ever making these noises. When Spencer started to set a steady pace you rejoiced internally, eyes fluttering closed as your mouth hung open with pleasure. Perhaps he’d taken pity on you, or perhaps he couldn’t hold back anymore either. Spencer pulled his mouth away from your nipple, moving back to kissing you hungrily. Like he was trying to swallow every sound you made. His lips tasted of your skin. “More- Spencer- Need more.” You couldn’t form a full sentence. The words taken right out of your mouth as you tried to keep up.

The sound of your skin meeting filled the room alongside your gasps, the wet sound of your kissing and the moans that filtered out from both Spencer and you. The hand that had been planted firmly on your pubic bone traveled down, his thumb brushing against your clit in gentle circles. Combined with the steady pace you got closer and closer to your orgasm. You could feel Spencer’s pace falter every few thrusts, an omen of him possibly getting closer to climax too. Your limbs started to ache from the way they were angled and the pressure as your muscles flexed.

Spencer’s fingers moved more quickly, more intensely as he brought you closer to the edge. The action made your legs tremble, unable to clench them together in their tied up position. The spasms making their way through your body. Spencer’s name fell from your lips like chanted prayers, mixed in were the calls of ‘I’m close’ and pleas of letting you come. Your words and sounds only work to urge him on. “Come for me. Show me how much you love it.” Spencer whispered, pressing his lips under your ear with a breathy groan. His thumb flicking your clit expertly as he used his free hand to angle your body just right for him to hit your most pleasurable spots.

You closed your eyes, screwing them shut as you let the feeling overtake you. Pleasure washing over you in waves as you hit your climax. Your jaw slack as the moan that escapes your body can’t be contained. Feeling your walls clench and contract around Spencer’s length, earning you one of the most delicious groans from him. He kept his fingers moving, his thrusts even as he fucked you through your high. Leaning your head to the side against your arm, chest raising up and down with labored breathing. A whine left your mouth as Spencer continued to rub your sensitive nub, bordering on over stimulation. “I want to see you covered in my cum.” Spencer said, looking for confirmation as you opened your eyes to watch him. He’d slowed his movements down, lazily thrusting into you. You could feel every twitch of his dick, knowing he was close, holding back until he got what he wanted. You gave him a lazy nod, satisfied smile on your lips as you did. Spencer smirked, he pulled out leaving you feeling empty again, going to sit on his heels. You wanted to protest but then again you wanted him to come too. Watching his hands as he removed the condom he began fisting his dick. Stroking up and down the length you watched, wanting to remember what he liked. Just in case it was ever your turn to put your hands on that pretty cock. His ragged breathing mixed with groans became louder, his hand faltered in its steady strokes until the first drops of spent hit your abdomen. It was warm, milky white and there was more than you expected. You watched him rock his hips absentmindedly, getting himself off, a soft whine escaping him. He really was beautiful like that. You watched his chest rise and fall with ragged breaths as he came down. You must have looked a mess in your current state, lower abdomen covered in cum, hickeys and marks littering your neck and chest and that blissed out, just fucked hair. Spencer smiled as he looked down at his work. “You’re so beautiful.” He said it softly, letting his hand glide over your tied up thigh. That hungry look from before had left his eyes, now simply filled with warmth he looked at you. “Hmm, I think you’re just saying that to make me feel good.” You mumbled with a sigh as it felt like you finally caught your breath. “No… I really think so. Let’s get you untied.” Spencer said in that gentle tone, moving his hand back down to the knot that held everything in place. He slowly began untying you, hands so gentle you could hardly feel them working. He gently brushed the previously covered skin. Dipping down with the marks it left, they were shallow but where you had strained there were signs of discolouration. Once both your legs were untied he started to gently massage each calf, then your thighs. Soft satisfied sighs left you as you reveled in the touches that soothed your slightly achy muscles. Spencer sat next to you, “Can you sit up for me?” He asked quietly, touching your arm with the tips of his fingers. Once again your answer came in the form of a lazy nod as you allowed Spencer to help you sit up so he could start untying your arms. They felt heavy once they were untied, he gently rubbed your muscles again. Smoothing away the aches, bending them softly to help you relax. You could feel the cum drip down your stomach, over your panties, and on to the bed. Though you didn’t really care about the mess you’d made together. You haven’t felt better in your life. You looked at the mirror across from you, seeing the evidence of your late afternoon on your skin. The rope left red marks that could possibly stay there for a while. The starting hickeys on your neck were prominent. The white cum that dripped down your body, staining your panties and his bed sheets.

“You owe me a new pair of panties.” You mumbled with a smile before looking back at Spencer who was rolling up the rope in neat bundles already. “I first owe you a nice, hot bath.” He smiled back at you, leaning over and gently placing a kiss on your temple.

[shu-box-puns]

I never would have given you to them; not for anything (Tsu'tey x Reader)

Last Chapter <- Part 5

If you prefer to read on Ao3, the fic can be found here!

Summary: You can choose to stay.

Word Count: 7532

Reader uses they/them pronouns.

Perched upon Eywa’s throne after yet another near death experience, you were officially contemplating if Eywa wasn’t just some neurological connection between the tree of Pandora, and was actually some dormant deity. Because for some reason, She really wanted you alive.

In the last twenty-four hours, you had been released from Bridgehead, captured and interrogated, only to somehow escape the first encounter, only to end up shot and then resurrected over the course of an hour, all so you could be nearly stabbed to death before the day was out. And somehow, you were still fucking alive, despite almost dying more times in one day, than you had in your entire previous life.

You would’ve found it hilarious if you had had the energy to laugh. But instead, you just felt drained. Whatever will to live that had been keeping you going until now, was running on fumes. You were hopelessly hungry and achy from the bullet wounds smarting across your side, and to add insult to injury, you had no idea what was happening. 

Tsu’tey seemed to have decided you were returning to camp with everyone, despite how little he clearly trusted you. And for some reason, neither Jake nor Neytiri had objected.

It wasn’t as if you had much of a choice regardless. With Quaritch and the rest of your squad dead and General Ardmore no doubt informed of your betrayal, marching back into Bridgehead would be about as effective as eating a bullet. Not to mention, with your injury, wandering off into the forest would result in a similar situation. 

Perhaps if you hadn’t exerted every inch of energy you had left getting Spider out from under Quaritch’s knife, you could’ve managed option two. But that didn’t matter now.

The body of your late comrades remained sprawled across the grass, their blood soaked into the earth beneath them. You felt no remorse for bringing about their end. Spider hadn’t deserved to die so you would have an opening to get away. He was Tsu’tey’s son, and that was enough to make him worth protecting.

At least they would finally be able to rest.

Your gaze flickered away from the bodies towards your own grave. Of course, it hadn’t moved since you found it earlier, where it had silently observed everything that had happened here. Unmoving and indifferent. It offered no answers beyond what had become of your past self. 

The skeleton it cradled would not sit up and push the dirt off like a cosy blanket. The corpse would not reanimate and take a seat beside you upon the roots of the Throne. It would not laugh and sigh as it retold its life, filling in all the blanks the Tree hadn’t. Hell, its body wouldn’t even hold the evidence of what had killed it. By now there would be no fingerprints nor injuries to examine. 

In your peripheral, Tsu’tey slipped into view, his hands visible and his expression solemn. Without turning your head, you moved your eyes towards him in acknowledgement. The mourning paint from his nose to his forehead had been mostly scraped away, his flying helmet set low above his brows. 

“We’re ready to go.” He told you simply, “Jake has room on his ikran for you.”

You hummed, eyes rolling back to the grave. To the source of so many questions and anxieties.

Tsu’tey shifted restlessly on his feet. “Look.” He stepped closer, but at your instinctive shift to keep some distance between you, he quickly stilled himself. His ears lowered in understanding, his hands raised to show his empty fingers again. “I just wanted to thank you for protecting Spider and the others.” Tsu’tey said simply, his tone earnest. “I know I didn’t say so before.” You looked him up and down, finding no ulterior motive in his gratitude. 

“It’s what they would have done.” You said simply, knowing that you both understood who you were referring to. 

“Yes.” Tsu’tey agreed.

Another beat of silence.

“What happened?” Tsu’tey shifted on his feet, swallowing loudly. “What?” “What happened to them?” You repeated, eyes boring into the carved name of your headstone. In your peripheral, you watched Tsu’tey study you, before he shifted back a step and glanced at the graves. His body was wound tight, as if it pained him to acknowledge them. As if he viewed them as some sort of failure. 

“We should head back-” “What happened, Tsu’tey?” You pressed firmly, tearing your eyes from the graves to meet his. “The Tree showed me so much, but it didn’t give me answers. I need you to be honest with me, or I can’t trust you.”

He swallowed. “Okay.”

“What happened to them? What killed them?”

>_<

“What killed them?”

Tsu’tey hated this. He despised the haunted look in their eye. He loathed the pain echoed in their eyes, both mental and physical. All he wanted was to go home. He wanted the safety of the clan surrounding his family. He wanted a warm meal, his comfortable hammock, and the knowledge that this nightmare was over.

“Did She not show you?” Tsu’tey asked instead of responding plainly. 

The recom shook their head. “Not all of it. Someone gave me a tea.” 

“Yes. It was infused with mucus from the Txumtsa’wll.” Tsu’tey confirmed with a grimace. He hadn’t realised at first, and had found the soiled mug in the compound some hours afterwards, the smell having drawn his attention. “Shit.” The recom breathed, “then why did they stab me?” “The tea alone would have taken too long to kill you.” Tsu’tey replied honestly, “and it is treatable if the patient is given the antidote quickly enough.” He paused to gather himself, stomach squirming as the uncomfortable memories began to resurface easily now that he was talking about it. “Arvok, my brother knew what he was doing. And he knew he would be noticed if he was gone too long. He struck on the night of a meeting between our clan and one of the horse clans. He stole one of their knives and framed their Olo’eyktan for your death. You died in my arms when I tried to get you to Mo’at.”

The recom was uncomfortably silent.

“How did you catch him?” They had finally stopped looking at their grave as if it would offer answers and were instead looking at him. Properly looking at him. Not his ear or the space above his eye, like they had when they feared him before, now they were looking at him like an equal.

Somehow, it didn’t make this any easier to say. “He went after Spider.” Tsu’tey spat, “and it was his last mistake.”

He could still feel the rage of that betrayal simmering beneath his skin, even fifteen years later. Could still feel the chokehold of grief that had blinded him. Forcing him to be reliant on Mo’at and the rest of the clan, to help him care for Spider when the sadness of losing his mate got the best of him. 

He could still taste the FURY that had burned the back of his throat when he turned up to  Arvok’s hut to pick Spider up, only to find his son suffocating. Arvok had laid the infant out on his back and removed his exo-mask, his face horrifyingly devoid of emotion as Tsu’tey’s son choked to death.

<”WHAT ARE YOU DOING!”> Tsu’tey had snarled, his body moving how he wanted for the first time in weeks. His vision had narrowed down to his son, panic and betrayal making his hands shake as he shoved Arvok aside and dove for Spider. With unsteady but determined hands, he had secured Spider’s mask back to his face. 

<”It is for your own good Tsu’tey.”> His little brother had informed him, whilst Tsu’tey had kept his back to him, his attention solely on Spider. With careful fingers, he had combed Spider’s hair back from his face, relief blooming in his chest as colour returned to Spider’s face and his eyes cleared. He was still breathing hard, catching his breath, but humans usually recovered without difficulty at this stage.

At his back, Arvok was still monologuing, basically admitting to the murder he had allowed the visiting Olo’eyktan to take the fall for.

With Spider recovering, Tsu’tey had finally turned his attention to the threat. <”It was you? You did this?!”> Tsu’tey hissed, fury replacing the fear as he turned slowly. 

<”Yes.”> Arvok admitted freely. And he was smiling. 

<”It was your fault?”> Tsu’tey bellowed, <”I had to bury my mate, because of you? Spider’s other parent is rotting in a grave, because of you? You did this?”>

Arvok nodded again.

<”This nightmare never ends, and it’s your fault!”> He wasn’t entirely sure when he had reached for his knife, but it was in his hand regardless. <”YOU DID THIS!”>

Arvok seemed to have caught on that Tsu’tey didn’t agree with his motive. The coward had startled at his raised voice, his hands rising in surrender as he began to back up.

<”Tsu’tey!”> His mate’s murderer pleaded, <”think about what you’re doing-”> <”NO!”> Tsu’tey snarled, his tail thrashing with rage. His hands ached to kill, his entire body ached actually. From heartache and loneliness and remaining in his hammock for too long. But he was moving. Finally his mind and body were in sync again, listening to him. Willing to help him carry out vengeance. To protect his son from this threat and avenge his fallen loved one. <”I will not think! I will not wait! This ends NOW! I will NOT allow you to hurt ANYONE ELSE!”>

Arvok fumbled to draw his blade, but it was too late, Tsu’tey had already tackled him to the ground. His brother had shrieked and wiggled, pleading for mercy, but Tsu’tey had given up listening. His knife punctured vulnerable flesh with a wet slice, and the body beneath him began to tire. 

He recalled the numbness that had followed. How his limbs had refused to cooperate again as he had crawled off the body, tears sliding down his face as grief tore open his chest anew. He had gathered up his unconscious son and crawled towards the hut’s entrance. He had only been able to make it as far as the walkway outside before he was forced to rest, his limbs screaming in exertion as a panic attack threatened to crawl up the back of his throat. 

All he could think about was his son choking in his arms. About the promise he had made to his dead mate to look after him. How he had almost failed not even two weeks after they’d died.

He was a terrible father. 

He’d curled up outside the hut for what felt like hours, tears slipping silently down his cheeks as he protectively curled around Spiders’s little body. Listening to his heartbeat even out and feeling his breaths with every puff of the exo mask. 

Mo’at had been the one to find him. She had always been like a mother to him. Even more so in those moments, when she had peered into Arvok’s hut, and seen his body, but had not flinched away from Tsu’tey. Her voice had been soothing and calm as she had helped him up, coaxing him into keeping a firm hold on Spider as she led him away from the scene.

Within minutes, she’d had him sat in her hut with a cup of tea in hand, whilst she sent hunters to deal with Arvok. By the time Spider had spluttered awake, Mo’at already had food waiting for him and Tsu’tey had stopped shaking. 

With a hard blink, Tsu’tey was back to the present. Stood beneath the shade of Eywa’s Throne with his family readying their ikran at his back, as he looked upon the reincarnated form of his mate and finally felt as if a weight was being lifted from his shoulders. 

“I dealt with him personally. He will not be a threat to you, should you choose to remain with us once you are healed.” Tsu’tey continued.

“I’m just sorry I wasn’t there.” The recom breathed, “that can’t have been easy.”

“It wasn’t.” Tsu’tey replied simply, because it was true. It hadn’t. And several times, he was sure he wasn’t going to pull through. “But you are now. I asked Eywa for a miracle. For you to stop being dead. And you did.” He smiled, small and private, whilst the recom nodded. “And you came home.” 

“I wanted to.” The recom admitted. “Getting back to you was my first thought upon waking up. I wasn’t even sure if the clan had survived the Battle for The Tree of Souls, but I had to know anyway.”

“Thank you.” Tsu’tey said again, and they looked up. He did not elaborate, and they did not ask him to. 

And this time, when he offered a hand to help them stand, they took it. 

>_<

“Hold tight.” Jake called over his shoulder, prompting you to tighten your arms around his waist as he coaxed Bob into a fluid glide under the belly of a colossal mountain. The wind tore at your hair and bullied your ears into lowering tight against your skull. You didn’t have a visor, so you’d been forced to duck tight against Jake’s back so his bulk would block most of it. Your eyes watered as you peeled them open a crack against the sting, to watch the mountain pass. 

Far below, the forest sprawled, and you couldn’t help but feel safe. Even if it was Jake doing the driving. As if to prove your point, your pilot unexpectedly rose higher on his stirrups, yanking you up with him thanks to your death grip around his stomach. Crouched awkwardly behind Jake, you winced as he yipped loudly over his shoulder, prompting the other ikran to fall into formation behind Bob. 

With another turn and a great swerve, the flock neatly soaring up into the hidden mouth of High Camp’s entrance. 

The camp stretched out below you from wall to wall. A living, breathing community of homes and cooking fires, interwoven with the compounds the scientists used to live alongside it all.

Bob circled once above it all before landing on the lip of the rocks as he had before. The rest of the flock followed suit. 

Your hands were ice cold from the wind, but somehow, you managed to peel your frozen limbs out of their death grip around Jake. Sitting back heavily in the saddle, you breathed out a sigh of relief now that there was no longer any danger of plummeting to your death.

Jake turned in the saddle, looking back at you over his shoulder with amusement plain on his face. “I’m surprised you didn’t scream the whole way up here.” “You forget I also used to accompany Trudy on her missions.” You replied sharply. “A little rough flying and a maniac of a pilot hasn’t killed me yet.”

Jake raised a brow at the irony, but didn’t push. “Need a hand down?” He asked instead. 

“I got it.”

He shot you a look that clearly said he didn’t believe you, but he dismounted alone regardless. Remaining in Bob’s saddle, you watched Jake stride towards Neytiri’s ikran and raise his hands in preparation to help Tuk down. 

Then you remembered that there were things to do and a clan to inform, all whilst you were relaxing on someone else’s ikran. Glancing down, you realised that you couldn’t actually judge how high the drop from the saddle to the ground was going to be. Even the flight up had drained you, and you could feel yourself on the cusp of crashing now that your adrenaline rush had well and truly died. Readjusting your grasp on the saddle straps, you yelped when Bob seemed to sense your struggle and smoothly lowered himself to the ground. Stretching your legs down, you scrambled for purchase whilst clinging tightly to the saddle. 

Bob was surprisingly patient and remained still until your feet touched cool stone and you slid off him entirely. He cooed softly as you leant against him, the world briefly spinning now that you had moved too much.

At your back, Mo’at’s booming voice echoed throughout the chamber.  <”Welcome home!”> Glancing over your shoulder, you found the Tsahik and a good chunk of the clan crowded around the landing area. 

Despite how gently you had moved, the movement pulled your torso wound wrong and you hissed in pain, ripping a hand away from the saddle to apply pressure. Which was bloody ridiculous because you’d just endured an entire flight without it complaining more than a dull throb. 

Your knees buckled without you focusing hard on keeping them straight, but luckily, Bob was a nice tempered ikran and simply followed you down instead of watching you topple over like Jake probably would have if you had instead allowed him to help.

Bob cooed encouragingly, his big head swinging round to lightly push at your shoulder. His scales were cool against your heated skin; soothing. 

Distantly, you could hear Mo’at waxing poetry to the clan, declaring some bullshit about Eywa repaying everyone’s hard work and devotion by offering one of the fallen a second chance. The People ate it up with hums of agreement, blindly trusting their Tsahik as they should. She might have mentioned the other recoms, or dragged Jake’s situation into the mix, but you couldn’t really hear.

White noise had swept in and drowned out her loud, regal voice. Your vision swam, but you could feel the stone you were sitting on and the saddle strap still clutched tightly in your hand. You could hear Bob chirping and feel the vibrations of feet approaching. 

Shadows flitted across your unseeing vision as a hand soothed down your back, whilst more checked your forehead for a fever. An even smaller set cupped your cheek, encouraging you to look at a small, pale face locked away behind an exo mask. You blinked slowly, feeling horrendously nauseous. 

Someone else dropped to their knees by your side, causing the other hands to retreat. The hands that touched you now were uncertain but supportive, encouraging your crumbled form to lean into them. You felt hands on your kuru, lifting and moving the braid, but it didn’t hurt, so you didn’t bother to fight it. 

There was softer, comforting talking happening right in front of your face, but your ears couldn’t figure out the words. Not whether they spoke in Na’vi or English, let alone what was being said, but the sound was comforting all the same as you felt yourself beginning to drift. 

There was zing up your kuru that flooded warmth into the base of your skull where your braid connected to the top of your spine. The pain seemed to ebb in its wake, leaving behind a sensation that could only be described as soothing.

I’ve got you. Tsu’tey’s voice promised, although it spoke in your mind rather than out loud. Clearer than anything that was happening in High Camp. He sounded kind, like he had in the memories, instead of angry at your very existence.

Hurts. You thought back, letting out a pained shout as you were abruptly lifted by whoever you were leaning into. Their grasp was firm on you, more grounding than painful now that you were being held steady.

I know. We’re gonna make you better.

Spider? He is here.

More vibrations thrummed through your cheek, which was pressed against a cool collarbone, as the person holding you spoke out loud. Almost instantly, a small hand reached up to grab your limp arm, which hung down. Five fingers squeezed down, sending a bolt of relief through you.

You found yourself suddenly grateful that this inevitable crash hadn’t happened in the forest. If they had decided to leave you behind, you would’ve been vulnerable to predators or detected by the RDA. But here you were instead, hidden within the heart of the clan, concealed within the floating mountains. That is right. Tsu’tey soothed in your mind. You are safe here. We will not allow harm to come to you.

And you believed him. 

The rest was a blur after Tsu’tey ducked into Mo’at’s hut. Your strength had almost completely departed now, as you hung limply in Tsu’tey’s grasp. Strangely, the Olo’eyktan continued to be unsettlingly gentle as he sat himself down beside the fire, with you cradled between his knees and your head resting back across his shoulder. His touch burned your over sensitive skin, but it was as soothing as it was unsettling. 

You saw the hut through Tsu’tey’s eyes, your own suddenly too tired to stay open. You were in the same hut as before, Mo’at’s herbs hanging from the ceiling whilst a pot of something strong bubbled over the flames. Spider had already moved towards where Mo’at kept her instruments, his back tense as he began pulling out various things. You could feel Tsu’tey searching for something to say to soothe his worries, but Mo’at swept in before he could voice anything.

<”Good.”> The Tsahik breathed as the curtains swished shut behind her. There was an unspoken lightness to her tone as she moved further into the room, ruffling Spider’s dreads as she went. <”I will not have to bully you into creating the bond. That shall allow this to go much more easily.”> She paused to take note of what Spider had already begun to pull from her supply, a proud grin tugging across her lips at what she found. <”You’re learning.”> She praised, to which both you and Tsu’tey noticed some of the tension leaving Spider.

Mo’at squeezed his shoulder, before returning her attention to you and frowning. <”Now, let us see the damage.”> She approached on steady feet, sinking to her hunches at Tsu’tey’s side as she began asking questions about your injuries. 

Between the three of them, they began patching you up. Tsu’tey kept you steady and the pain at bay, whilst Mo’at cut away your shirt and the old leaf bandages to get at the wounds beneath. Spider handed over disinfectants and cooling salves that she took great care in firmly rubbing into the fresh wounds. The pressure was even and predictable, allowing you to suck in shaky breaths whenever she withdrew her hand for another dose. 

As Mo’at carefully bandaged you up, you felt Tsu’tey beginning to relax on the other end of the bond. Until now, he’d been careful to keep his own emotions in check, so much so that you had barely realised he was tense. But now you could feel it. His anxiety came in waves, ebbing and flowing with no rhythm. As soon as he was calming the first, a second would unexpectedly sweep in to drench him, causing his heartbeat to pound against your back. Stubbornly, his face remained unreadable.

With what little strength you had left, you reached up to cover his hand that was gently curled over your stomach. 

I’m fine now. You told him mentally with a tight squeeze to the back of his hand. Good as new.

There was no fresh wave of guilt to challenge your claim, and something visibly loosened in him. Through the bond, you got the vague sense that he wanted to bury his face into your shoulder and cling tightly, but it was gone as quickly as it came. 

<”Tsu’tey sit them up higher.”> Mo’at suddenly said from closer than you were anticipating. Dutifully, Tsu’tey obeyed, whilst you cracked open an eyelid to find Mo’at holding a bowl of something steaming and a spoon. <”There you are.”> She said softly, <”try and eat something before you go back to sleep. Today has taken a lot from you. You will need your strength.”> As she spoke, she filled the spoon with warm broth and raised it to your mouth. You opened and hummed in thanks as the warmth flooded from your tongue into your body. It was the most delicious thing you’d had since waking up. Hearty and soothing, sweet but not too much so. Worlds better than RDA rations. It warmed you from the inside out, allowing sleep to make your eyelids heavy.

<”Spider, could you clear some space for a spare hammock, of course we’ll need to monitor them-”>

<”Dad and I could look after them!”> Spider rushed out before abruptly cutting himself off. He cleared his throat. <”I mean, we have room. In our hut?”>

You grumbled softly, content to let them figure it out between them. With the broth heavy in your belly, you could feel sleep finally digging its claws in and refusing to relent. This time, you couldn’t have stayed awake if you wanted to. 

>_<

For what felt like weeks but could have only been days, you flowed in and out of consciousness like river water around submerged stones. When the current pulled you higher, you managed to peel your eyes open to find a woven hut roof and a warm bowl of something light to eat waiting for you. 

And when it pulled you deep down within yourself, you relied on the comforting presence of Tsu’tey to keep you grounded. During those times you shared Tsaheylu, the pain was relieved better than any painkiller, as if Tsu’tey swept it away through sheer force of will. With the connection also came stories, fond memories that Tsu’tey offered to pass the time. Some you recalled from before everything went to shit, and some that were new.

If you were especially lucky, you would drift up enough to hear Tsu’tey asking Spider for memory ideas. To which the boy would happily and animatedly narrate some fond memory he had, whilst Tsu’tey recalled it from his own perspective and fed it down the bond to you. 

It was a simple, repetitive existence. So much so that it was jarring to float upwards again and find yourself staying there. 

Your eyes were crusty as you peeled them open, your back smarting from lying still for so long. But you could already tell you didn’t hurt as much. There were still bandages wrapped securely around your torso, slightly restricting your breathing, but you didn’t feel wet under them. Your injuries were definitely on the mend. 

The hammock you were tucked in swayed gently as the rest of the hut came into view. It was not one you had been in before. 

In the pit, the cooking fire had fizzled out into nothing, whereas the repetitive, slow breathing of someone nearby alerted you to the fact you were not alone. Everything hurt as you eased yourself up into a sitting position, surprised to find yourself stripped of your ratty, RDA issued uniform and instead dressed in the traditional na’vi loincloth. Your hair felt clean for the first time in days, the build up of sweat and grime washed away whilst you were unconscious. 

The world swayed as you struggled to haul yourself out of the hammock, dark spots floating across your vision as you grasped one of the supports for dear life. The tent your hammock was strung up in was tidy, but clinical, with hooks lining the ceiling supports in uniformed rows and baskets of healing supplies carefully tucked away against the far wall. A long rug covered most of the uneven stone floor, whereas the entrance to your right was pulled to, but not obstructed.

“Zaza?” A small voice groaned from behind you, heavy with sleep. Your ears pricked as you turned, finding Spider half out of a hammock three times too large for him. “Where are you going?” There was thinly veiled panic hidden in his tone, accented with the way he was holding himself dangerously still. Uncertain whether to approach.

“Where am I?” You asked instead of answering, tail ramrod straight as the boy fully slipped out of the hammock. His stripes were dull now, somehow, you could tell even in the low light. 

“In the infirmary,” Spider offered easily, hands plainly in sight as he slowly approached. “I wanted to take you home but Dad said you might not be comfortable with it.”

“I see.” You replied neutrally.

“Are you hungry?” Spider offered when you didn’t follow the sentence up with anything else. You found yourself nodding hesitantly, to which Spider smiled tightly. The cuts Quaritch’s knife had left across his throat had scabbed over.

“Can we go to mine and Dad’s tent? We have ingredients there for breakfast?”

“Only if that is okay with your Dad.” It felt weird to refer to Tsu’tey like that. “He won’t mind.” Spider replied too quickly, flashing you a winning smile. Smiling back, you followed him out of the tent and into the main chamber of High Camp.

The camp was quiet considering the early hour, with only the odd hunter milling around and the ikran perched near the cave mouth. 

Spider walked noticeably slow ahead of you, glancing back periodically as if you would slip away between the tents if he didn’t keep an eye on you. 

The boy’s tent was surprisingly empty of Tsu’tey when he held the curtain open for you. As you rounded the dormant fire pit to take a seat, you noted the two hammocks strung near the back wall, alongside the knick knacks and keepsakes scattered beneath the one on the left - clearly Spiders. Whereas Tsu’tey’s was neatly tidied with his bow stand empty and his arrows gone. The tent felt homely, and well lived in.

Spider was clearly comfortable navigating it. With confidence, he woke a fire and began pulling all manner of fruits out of the various baskets near the entrance. Pausing to tie back his dreadlocks, he neatly pulled out a spear knife from a box and got comfortable on the opposite side of the fire. WIth a steady grip, he ducked his head and began dutifully cutting the closest thing to him - a yovo fruit.  

Between you, the fire popped merrily, and you very quickly realised you had nothing to say to him. Besides sharing a near death experience and a common drive to keep each other alive, you realised you had nothing in common. You didn’t really know him.

“How’s your throat?” “Healing.” Spider replied after a heartbeat of silence. “H-how’s your side?” “Better.” You assured him, with a subconscious touch to the healing injury in question. “I’m assuming I have you and your Dad to thank for that?” Spider ducked his head. “Dad did most of the work, I just helped.” “And yet you were standing guard when I came to.” 

Spider flushed this time as if he was embarrassed you had noticed. “I fell asleep.” He admitted with a mumble. 

The corner of your mouth tugged up at the quiet admission. “Don’t beat yourself up over it, I’m the exact same when I sit still for too long. You’ve had a difficult-” you trailed off, “how long have I been out?” “Two days.” Spider supplied helpfully. 

“Thank you, it’s been a difficult few days.”

“It hasn’t been bad.” Spider admitted absently, using his knife to half and scrape some freshly sliced  yovo fruit into two nearby bowls. He was quiet for a moment as he picked up the slightly larger portion and held it out to you. Ducking your head in thanks, you reached forward to take it from him, but Spider didn’t let go.

Meeting his gaze, you found him already watching you with a long look. “Thank you for not dying again.” He said sincerely, “I’d really appreciate getting to know you this time around.”

You smiled bitterly at the sentiment, a look that Spider mirrored easily. 

“And I, you.” You replied easily, finding that you meant it as he let you take the bowl. “I’ve heard great things about you Spider, it’ll be nice to get to know you better.” He averted his gaze then, scooping up a bit of fruit and stuffing it into his mouth instead of responding straight away. Taking a page out of his book, you lowered your gaze and did the same. The fruit was delicious. It was sweet and full to bursting. With every bite you had to wipe the sides of your mouth because of the sheer amount of juice in every piece.

“Will you stay?” Spider asked when his bowl was half empty. You paused mid-bite to find him looking at the fire instead of you.

Swallowing your mouthful, you wiped your chin and asked seriously, “do you want me to?”

“Yes.” Spider said without missing a beat. His expression was painfully vulnerable, full of hope and what could only be described as longing. “Dad does too. And Mo’at. Jake and Neytiri too, but they won’t admit it because they don’t want to pressure you.” He paused, “you’ll be safe with us here.”

“I would be.” You agreed, “but I have to see if it’s the right decision first. If I don’t fit here, then I can’t force it. Do you understand?” Spider pouted but didn’t contradict you. “I understand.” He said maturely, and you knew he was being honest. 

>_<

Recovery was slow, but you’d never been the kind to remain in bed for long. Even with Mo’at barring you from contributing on hunts, you ensured you rose with the sun and helped out around the camp in whatever way your injuries allowed. Sometimes, that was cleaning or servicing stolen RDA weapons alongside other hunters, or you were washing and prepping Mo’at’s herbs. 

In those first few days, the clan gave you a wide berth, which you appreciated. In return, you remained unarmed and calmed yourself by sitting with your back to a wall or against someone’s hut whilst you completed your tasks. You kept your head down, and gradually, their unease faded. 

Usually, Spider or one of the Sully kids joined you for an hour or two, talking about anything or everything whilst their parents hunted or contributed with patrols. But today, Tsu’tey sat himself down opposite you, a basket of fruit balanced on his hip. He kept his gaze fixed on his work as he crouched a comfortable distance away, and immediately occupied himself with peeling the fruits. 

You said nothing, and as you had the last few days, refused to start up a conversation. As long as neither of you opened your mouths, you tended to be able to exist in the same space without dissolving into insults or painful memories. You knew he was trying. 

You knew Tsu’tey was attempting to rebuild some of that trust in the only way he knew how, but it was unsettling. You’d never known him to be this quiet. This comfortable in existing in someone else’s space without having to voice his internal monologue. It was just another reminder of how much he had changed whilst you’d been frozen in time. 

And what’s more, some of the things he was doing for you, couldn’t be explained away as an Olo’eyktan looking out for one of his own. Even after you’d woken up and spent that first morning having breakfast with Spider, you had been a long way from recovered. 

Moving around without long naps in between chores left you exhausted and oftentimes passed out in the weirdest places, such as Tsu’tey’s tent floor when you had been waiting for Spider to finish making lunch. That time - and every time after - you’d woken up in a hammock instead of on the floor. 

When a fever had come for vengeance and your wound had gotten a minor infection, he’d been nothing short of doting. Feeding you light meals to settle your stomach. Braiding your sweaty hair back so it was off your forehead and didn’t cling to your neck. Changing your bandages like clockwork. Adding and taking away blankets where needed. 

In a lot of ways, it reminded you of how your parents had doted on one another. Performing thankless acts of service without the other ever having to ask for it. 

And through it all, he scowled the entire time. Like constantly. And you definitely shouldn’t have found that as achingly familiar and reassuring as you had. You definitely shouldn’t have started looking into it, searching for the fiery, annoying man you’d fallen head over heels in love with all that time ago. 

You were submerged so deeply in your thoughts, that you’d completely forgotten where you were and what you were doing, until you managed to sink your knife into your thumb. With a hiss and a jerk, you dropped the fruit you’d been peeling and jammed your bleeding thumb into your mouth and sat back on your hunches.

Across from you, Tsu’tey clicked his teeth. “Idiot.” He sighed, but not with his usual bite, hell, it practically sounded fond, as if you’d done something endearing instead of pathetic. “Here,” he continued, reaching into the pouch secured across his chest strap and pulling out a river leaf. “Let me.” Slowly, he reached across the distance between you, his expression open and sickeningly kind. You let him take your hand without a fuss. Carefully, Tsu’tey mopped up the blood, a soft tut leaving his lips as he assessed the depth of the injury. 

“Do I need to go back to Mo’at?” You joked half-heartedly.

“Luckily not. She’s getting sick of only seeing you.” 

“Not for long hopefully.” You interjected, “I’m on the mend for real this time.” Tsu’tey hummed noncommittally. “Have you given any thought into what you will do once you’re healed?” He asked point blank, with no warning or prompt to get him to say it. 

You blinked. “What brought that on?” Tsu’tey ducked his head, a gesture you’d noticed Spider doing when he was embarrassed. “I overheard Spider asking about it the other week, and I can’t stop thinking about it.” He admitted sheepishly. 

Just to fuck with him, you gasped dramatically. “You were eavesdropping?” “I was not!” Tsu’tey corrected defensively with a scowl. He bit his lip and averted his gaze again. “I was worried when neither of you were in the infirmary when I went to check. Naturally, I checked home before looking anywhere else for him.”

“I see.”

“So?”

“What?” With a firm crack of his tail, he caught your gaze and held it. “I answered your question, so answer mine.”

He was still holding onto your hand with both of his, you realised absently. He was sat close enough now, that the combination of all three hands had fallen into his lap, the river leaf forgotten and your finger beginning to scab. It was such an intimate position, that you almost forgot what his question was.

“If I were to stay,” you started carefully, intending to see how far he would go, “I would need somewhere to live. Mo’at’s going to chase me out of the infirmary one of these days if I stay there much longer.” “We have spare tents.” Tsu’tey said neutrally, ears swivelling to face you, showing just how eager for your answer he really was. “And if you were comfortable, you could even move in with Spider and I if none of them were to your liking.” He paused, before quickly tacking on a panicked, “but only if you wanted to. There is no pressure of course.” “Of course.” You agreed readily, feeling more at ease than you had yet. With a small smirk, you decided to keep fucking with him. “And I would need my weapons back.” “That can be arranged.” Tsu’tey agreed, before glancing up and stalling at your expression. You tilted your head.

“And I would need to negotiate a relationship with my son if his father was open to it.” Tsu’tey went very still causing panic to slam into your sternum. Abruptly, the tables had turned and it was you scrambling to justify yourself. “Of course, I wouldn’t want to step on your toes. I don’t even have to see him that often if you’re not comfortable with it. I can take him out for a day, or we don’t even have to do that. I could be like that distant cousin, or the weird clone twin of his dead- fuck this isn’t coming out how I wanted it to-”

“I think,” Tsu’tey cut in sharply, looking more amused than offended. “That Spider would love to build a connection with you.” Tsu’tey’s hands had gone completely slack around your own. The sluggishly bleeding cut completely forgotten now that the air between you was thick with untold tension. 

“And what about his father,” you pushed, studying his expression, “would he be happy with that arrangement?” 

Tsu’tey’s gaze dragged across your face and circled at least twice down to your lips. “He could be persuaded.” He said darkly, making your stomach squirm from his tone. 

His eyes had fallen to half mast during the little back and forth, his pupils swollen as they looked at you. You could feel your tail wagging at your back, and you hated to think how eager you probably looked. 

With a hard blink, you dragged yourself off of that train of thought before it could derail off into dangerous territory. Kissing him would be a stupid idea right now, you reminded yourself. In fact, it would be more stupid than marching into Ardmore’s office and openly admitting to treason. Not only would it jeopardise your position within the clan, but it wouldn’t actually fix anything between you and Tsu’tey and might even end with him pulling away.

No, as gorgeous as he looked right now, and how much you could see he wanted you, you needed to wait. There was no room for this, when you were only just beginning to trust each other once again. Maybe soon, but not now. Not today.

Clinging tightly to that reasoning, you sat back and pulled your hand out of Tsu’tey’s grip.

He blinked and seemed to come back to himself. With a sheepish clearing of his throat, he also shuffled back and out of reach. Ears lowered, he took up his knife again and continued his previous task of peeling the fruit, dutifully pretending like nothing had happened.

You hated it. But you hated that blank expression on his face more.

Scrambling for something to say - anything - to keep the conversation flowing, you blurted out the first thing that randomly came to mind to fill the silence. 

“How did we end up adopting, Spider?”

Startled, Tsu’tey’s head snapped up. His brows furrowed as he struggled to process the question, as if bewildered you were still willing to talk to him after pulling away.  

“What?” “I mean, if I’m going to be co-parenting with you, then I should know these things.” Something like relief flooded his expression. “I see.” He said easily. “So,” you prodded, with a pointed wiggle of your ears, “how did we end up adopting a human child together?” 

Tsu’tey smiled fondly to himself. “It was after the battle. We went to Hell’s Gate to raid for medical supplies. I insisted on coming along because you were so small, and you fought me every step of the way because I had suffered a shoulder injury.”

Instinctively, you knew which shoulder to glance down at. The bullet wounds were old and faded with time. You could only imagine how long it had taken him to heal them, and how long it had taken to rebuild the strength in that arm.

“The corridors were stupidly small and impractical, but echoey. I heard a baby crying and you followed me when I went to investigate. We found Spider in someone’s bunk room, and you told me he was hungry. From there, it was just a matter of no one else having the time to take care of him, and you stepping up. And as your mate, I did too.”

“Huh.” 

“Anything else you want to know?” Tsu’tey prodded good naturedly. You thought for a moment. “What was his first word?” Tsu’tey stopped his polishing to laugh. A proper laugh. The kind that started deep in your belly and burst its way out of your mouth and demanded you to tilt your head back from the sheer force of it. A truly gorgeous expression on him.

“What?” You defended yourself with a chuckle, “I need to know the important information.”

“Of course.” Tsu’tey chuckled, the mood light. “His first English word was uh-oh, because he knocked my bow off your desk. And his first Na’vi word was Sempu.”

“Oh, I see how it is!” You mocked, pretending to be offended whilst Tsu’tey shot you a wicked grin as if he’d won. “So his first word was practically ‘dad’, big deal.” Tsu’tey hummed.

“Alright, what’s his favourite food?”

And it went like that for several hours. You and Tsu’tey basking in each other’s company, learning and reliving fond moments from a time long gone. It was easy and familiar, and it finally felt like home.

~FIN~

Last Chapter <- Part 5

[redbleedingrose]

Always ~ Part 7

Azriel x Reader

Summary: You and Azriel have been best friends for years after you joined the inner circle as the top healer in Velaris. But with Elain and Nesta’s recent arrival, Azriel has begun to ignore your friendship in favor of being together with Elain. You are heartbroken, and it is Starfall where you will be confined in the house of wind with Azriel and Elain. Everything will be okay though… right?

Epilogue

A/N: Hello my lovely readers! Happy Friday! I want to start with apologizing for the wait that part 7 took, but it is the last part of this fic and I wanted it to be good and long. I was also struggling with some minor writers block and I had finals happening at the same time. I stayed up all night trying to write this out, so I hope that you all love this part. I also wanted to mention I will be having an epilogue posted sometime this weekend for Always as well as an Eris x Reader oneshot. As always, please leave a like, comment, and reblog. I love to hear your guys thoughts and the interaction always makes my fucking day.

Azriel’s grip on your fingers tightened, almost cutting off the circulation, as though he was frightened you would winnow away at any moment if he let go. His shadows were swarming around you both, enclosing you into darkness with only flickers of light from the hearth bleeding through, panicked from the entire aspect of you leaving him for good. He paused, listening to your breath mix with his, trying to formulate the words that he wanted to use to plead his case, to explain everything. To explain the pain he had caused you, to explain why he had hidden the mating bond that had snapped itself into place so long ago for him, to explain his friendship (if you could even call it that) with Elain, to explain why he had distanced himself from you. 

That is what hurt the most. The fact that he distanced himself. It made every muscle in your body ache, every doubt and worry flooded itself into the striations of the cells that make up your heart. After all this time, after everything you had been together, it was the thing you least expected coming out of him. For years, even before under the mountain, you had prayed that the precious bond would snap into place. And when the fifty years of pure despair happened, the thought of seeing Azriel once more was the only thing that kept you going most days. But he had known. He had known about the mating bond. He had held feelings for you before all of this. He had known since before Amarantha even. And yet, he never said anything. Not a single word. Not even a tiny whisper. 

“A little bit before Under the Mountain.” What the fuck did that even mean? How long had he hidden his feelings, if he even had any. Why didn’t he tell you then, and why didn’t he tell you after being away from him for fifty years without any contact? Had that lost time meant nothing to him? Had he even missed you while you were gone, suffering under Amarantha’s reign while the rest of the inner circle was allowed the peace of Velaris. In all honesty, you had felt cheated. Cheated out of what was supposed to be a beautiful moment between two best friends who had fallen in love. Cheated out of what life could have been, if only Az had told you. If only the bond had snapped into place for you at first, before him.

It was as though the spymaster picked up on your thoughts, the perceptive male he was, and tugged on the bond, trying to send all of his love and devotion down the tight golden string that held you both together as the shock of this night was starting to wear off leaving only confusion and hurt in its wake. His eyes, once more, locked onto yours, glinting with determination and truth, as he straightened his back and rustled his wings into a taut position. This would be the moment of truth, both of you knew that. Both of you were aware of the gravity of the situation. And you knew, somewhere deep inside you, that both of you wanted to walk away from this unharmed. But you also knew, you weren’t sure if Az could pull it off. 

Despite all the pain Az had caused in a short time, your feelings for him were stronger. The moments where he would take care of you when you were sick. The moments when he would hold you when you were upset for some reason, any reason, and would whisper words of affirmation. The moments where you two would get drunk and spend the entire night gossiping about the inner circle and giggling at each other, with each other. The moments where you would stay up late into the night and read to each other. The moments you would almost set the house of wind on fire because of your efforts to bake together. The moments where you would comfort him and kiss his hands to reassure him that he was worthy of every good thing that has ever happened to him and every good thing that will ever happen to him. The little moments. The big moments. Any moment you shared before any of this still meant something, everything, to you. And you whole-heartedly believed they meant something to him too. 

Azriel sent another tug at the bond before he began, “Do you remember when we first met?” He didn’t give you the chance to respond, smiling softly before continuing, “Rhys was practically forcing Cass and I to Windhaven; we had heard rumors that Devlon was planning a mass wing-clipping of the female babes at the camp, and we couldn’t let that happen. I was dreading it, Gods, I mean I was furious and was ready to rip off Devlons head. But we were dreading that we might’ve been too late. That we would walk into the massacre, and those female babes would suffer for the rest of their lives. As soon as Rhysand had informed us of our mission, Cass and I had left, flying as fast as we could to try to warn anyone who was willing to listen. Rhys had promised to come with something, or rather, someone for reinforcements, I suppose. And that was you. And you fucking stole my breath away when Rhys landed, carrying you in his arms. I had never seen someone as stunning as you.” He chuckled, clearly returning to the memory as his eyes glazed over, “Cass nearly knocked me over with a slight punch in the arm because I was so distracted by you. I was trying to commit every part of you to memory, and then Rhys told us you were there to heal any babe if our efforts weren’t to be a success, a preemptive measure he said. Cassian tried to impress you with his smooth talking, and you took it in stride and flirted right back, clearly unbothered. I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say to you. I was so anxious that I would say the wrong thing, so I just kept staring at you, and you didn’t say one word to me, Y/N. You just looked at me, eyes shining like the moon on winter solstice, and nodded in greeting before moving onto preparing for whatever was to come. You didn’t say one word, but you didn’t need to. I knew I was completely and utterly fucked, and I think Cass and Rhys knew too. They teased me for fucking hours.” 

You couldn’t help but cackle at the memory, humor seeping into you, slightly dissolving a small bit of the pain. Of course Cassian and Rhys had teased Az. The busybodies had nothing better to do with their time. You remembered every moment of that day. You had met Rhys prior in an off-chance encounter. At the time, the high lord was settling into his new role and would spend his nights walking the streets of Velaris thinking of his responsibilities, the loss of his mother and sister still fresh, and the darkness that was slowly creeping over Prythian. He had come across you stumbling, drunk beyond belief after an extremely difficult and long day, and helped you sit down in a cafe near the sidra and bought you a coffee to help you sober up before he would walk you home. All your inhibitions were lowered and you hadn’t recognized the high lord, and so, while you sipped away at the sweetened mocha latte, you rambled about your day healing the most complex patients you had seen yet. And Rhys had been too kind, too patient, and was looking for anything to take his mind off his duties, and thus, had spent the entire night listening to you. It was only when the sun was beginning to rise that you became sober and aware of who you were speaking to; you had been so embarrassed, that even when you think about it now, your pointed ears flush at the tips. Rhys had only chuckled and waved off your embarrassment as you tried to apologize profusely before scrambling away, without a goodbye, citing that you needed to return to the clinic to prepare before it opened. That night, that conversation, had been enough for Rhysand to drop by your clinic every once and a while to take you out for coffee and to listen to the complexities of your job, becoming one of your best friends in the process. 

One morning, before you had opened the doors to the clinic, Rhysand had winnowed in. He expressed his concern about the plots for the mass-clipping, describing the situation as quickly as he could, as the situation could have become dire at any moment. You hadn’t hesitated, urgently grabbing any supplies you would need to help the female babes in case anything were to happen, and practically yanked Rhys outside so he could fly you both out there. Meeting Cassian and Azriel had been as expected; the high lord outlined their personalities well during your conversations over lattes, and sometimes wine even, and had told you mid-flight that you would be in their presence. He also informed you the spymaster was to not leave your side as Devlon might plot to take out any and all healers in the region to prevent any sort of wing-saving measures. 

When you landed, you were blown away by Azriels beauty, the rumors across Velaris of his darkness, his hazel eyes, his windswept hair, the cool look of indifference that was usually plastered across his face, had not done him justice. Nothing had ended up happening that night, Devlon’s plans had been unfoiled by the illyrian brothers, but by no means was the night considered wasteful. That night, you impressed all three males with your experiences and storytelling, and despite Az not saying a word to you that night as he analyzed you from a distance, the two of you had become attached at the hip once you returned to Velaris. 

He drew you from your thoughts, “I knew that I couldn’t let you go. That first night, I didn’t get a wink of sleep because my thoughts kept drifting off to you, and my heart ached knowing that we wouldn’t have a lot of time together in Windhaven. And then we returned to Valeris, and I thought maybe because I wouldn’t be seeing you, that I wouldn’t be consumed by you. But then it became me thinking of you when I woke up, thinking of you when I went to bed, thinking of you in my dreams, thinking of you when I needed to work, thinking of you during meetings, to thinking of you at every moment of every day. 

And I couldn’t hold back anymore, and so after a week of not seeing you, I decided I would stop by your clinic every day and ask if you needed anything to try and get you to talk to me, acknowledge me, even if it were a couple of seconds. And you would always be kind and smile so softly, in a way I didn’t deserve, and thank me for my efforts. And then it slowly turned into walking you home from work, to going out for drinks after work, to grabbing lunch from nearby food carts, to going shopping together for Mother knows what. And I was fucking hooked, dove, I couldn’t get enough of you. Mother knows, I tried to hold back, because I don’t deserve you. Not after everything I have done. Not after everything these hands have done,” Azriel paused, eyes filling with disgust as he shifted, staring down at his marred hands that had continued to grip onto yours. His hold loosened, as if he didn’t want to dirty your hands with whatever he did for his job in protecting the night court. But you didn’t let him let go completely, intertwining your fingers with his tighter, squeezing at the knuckles, a habit that you had picked up in the years of your friendship in an effort to urge him to stay and carry on with his explanation. 

“Any time Rhys would send me on a mission for a period of time, I would feel sick to my stomach the entire time I was away and the feeling was only soothed when I would return and find you asleep in the comfort of your own home. And that's how it continued. Because having you in any capacity, whether it was just acquaintances or friends or best friends should have been enough. But Gods Y/N, it wasn’t. You deserve someone who is good, just like you. Someone who helps heal people, someone who is perfect in every way just like you. Someone who isn’t me, someone who isn’t riddled with self loathing and despair. But if I am one thing, it is that I am fucking selfish male. For years, I held myself back from becoming anything more than best friends. But then two years before Amarantha, on the winter solstice, the bond fucking snapped. I don’t know if you remember anything about that night, but I remember every moment.” He peaked up at you through his eyelashes as he paused, his pink tongue poking out to lick at his dry lips. You had been incredibly drunk that night, drinking the expensive wines of the high lord with the rest of the inner circle as you played group games before opening up presents, high on the fact that everything had been at peace. There had been no problems with the Illyrian war camps shockingly, the patients who you had been looking after for the most part were thriving, there was a peace over Velaris and Prythian. 

“You were wearing this silk fitted blue gown that stopped right at your knees and was sleeveless, one that matched the color of my siphons. Mother fucking above Dove, I nearly dropped to my knees when you walked in with your cheeks flushed and eyes shining so bright, I thought Rhys had plucked the stars from the sky and placed them into your irises. And then you looked around the room, and when we caught eyes, you smiled so hard and I was the first person you came to. Me. Not Rhys or Cassian or Morr or Amren or whoever else was there. You walked over to me, and you hugged me so tight and whispered ‘Happy Solstice Az,’ and I couldn’t breathe. You literally stole my breath away, the breathtaking lady you are. I clung to you the entire night, and you- you let me…  

I didn’t want to spend a single second away from you, we sat together the whole night, drinking whatever wine Morr would pull out from the cellar and whispered about anything and everything that came to mind. And then we were pulled into playing games, and we first played mafia which we won together, and then charades where we were partners and nearly beat Cass and Morr even though they were absolutely fucking cheating, and then we all exchanged gifts and I didn’t have any from you in my pile. I thought you hadn’t gotten me anything and my heart nearly shattered, but I hated myself because I knew I was wrong to be upset. Because you deserve better than what I could ever offer you. When you opened my gift and gasped, I was so fucking nervous, I couldn’t help but second guess if it had been an appropriate gift to give you.” 

“A gold locket,” you blurted out. You remembered your heart beating so fast when he had handed you your gift, silently watching your reaction as he leaned back into the couch and drank from his bottle. You shakily unwrapped the box, trying to save every piece of paper that had been delicately placed to cover it. The locket was the most beautiful gift you had ever received to date. It had a constellation carved into the front, and on the inside had poetry written in some ancient language with Illyrian roots that the shadowsinger had refused to translate for you, even to this day. But you wore it. Morning, noon, and night like clock work you would wear it. In fact, you rarely took it off, feeling panicked any time you couldn’t feel the cool metal resting against the warm skin of your collar. When you had been stuck under the mountain, you had hidden it within your shoe because you feared it would be taken. And it had been the only real connection that you had to Az at the time. You often held it in your fist on the night that insomnia racked you, the small object bringing you comfort in ways you could never elaborate on. And you still wear it to this day, even right now, you can feel the necklace grow heavy on you. 

“That night, when everyone had passed out from drinking, you and I stayed up. And we sat out on the balcony on the swing and just enjoyed each other's presence. And you leaned your head against my shoulder and I almost blurted it out in the moment how I felt about you, I didn’t want to hold back anymore, no matter how selfish I was going to be. I wanted, no I needed you. You shifted away for a second, and pulled something out of your pocket before silently handing it to me. I remember staring at the little box for a couple of minutes. My mind had gone completely blank from the disbelief that you had indeed gotten me something… I was so confused when it turned out to be this lotion that smelled heavily like lavender, and you picked up on that even though you were almost asleep, and you mumbled out, ‘It is a balm I made for your hands from herbs in the garden. It has a cooling sensation whenever you apply it, and is supposed to help with falling asleep.’ and the cap had inscribed, To keep the nightmares at bay, may you only find peace in your dreams. -Always yours, Y/N

Mother fucking above, in that moment, I fell in love with you all over and that was the moment. I felt the bond fucking snap. And I was so fucking elated, and when I turned my head to look down at you, you had passed out. And I waited for hours, holding you close, trying to calm my nerves and slow down my heart because I thought I would go into cardiac arrest. And in those hours, I thought about telling you. I thought about how fucking happy I was that you were mine, because from the moment I met you, I was yours. And there was just nothing to do about that. Fear and anxiety started to creep in as the sun rose, at this point we had both shifted to laying down, and I just held you to my chest, breathing you in, smelling your scent, watching you sleep so peacefully, and I couldn’t ruin that. I was and still am the spymaster of this court. I have done a lot of evil, things that are unspeakable, for the sake of protecting Velaris, for the sake of protecting this court. And that has brought me a lot of enemies, enemies that would gleen at the thought of you. At the thought of taking you away from me. Because if that were to ever happen, I think I would die Y/N. I couldn’t let any harm come to you. I couldn’t ruin your peace. I couldn’t ruin your happiness with my bullshit. And so I promised to myself and you that I would always protect you, I would never let anything happen to you, and I would try to be a better male. That way, you would be proud to have me as a mate. That way, you would never look back and having me as your mate.” 

Grief pulled at your heart strings. All this time, lost. All the hurt and pain was for nothing. The image of Azriel sitting in front of you pausing in his explanation blurred from the burning tears that were making their way down your cheeks, connecting at the bottom of your chin, collecting before dropping onto the sheets beneath you. It was certainly no excuse for Azriel not telling you, but it was an explanation. You thought back to all the times the shadowsinger had expressed his hate towards himself, whispering his darkest thoughts to you in the middle of the night where no one else would hear, as he raised one of his hands that had been locked with yours, and allowed the pads of his fingers to run across your cheeks, brushing away your tears in the process. 

You took a shuddering breath as he pressed his soft palm into your soft skin, his voice hoarse with sorrow, “I am sorry sweetheart. I cannot express enough how much I regret not telling you that very night. I regret not waking you up. I regret all the moments that came after that ever made you doubt our friendship, all the moments that ever made you feel like you were not deserving, all the moments that ever had the thought that I didn’t love you cross your mind. It is the biggest regret of my life, but I needed to protect you.” 

A part of you understood his reasons, understood his fears. Azriel had hidden a lot of aspects of his work from you out of fear that you would one day find yourself horrified by his actions. But inevitably, you would hear the rumors that patients would speak and through that, you seemed to have a small idea of what types of methods Az would use to get the information he needed. You never held it against him. And you made sure he knew that any time he had the slightest hint of concern shown in his eyes. But Azriels issues with himself were not yours that you could solve, you could only help him bear the load. The rest, he would have to figure out on his own, with time and acceptance of the past and present. The fact that he tried to work on himself for you was no small feat. You rested your head against his hand, scooting closer to him, desperate to close the gap even though he hadn't finished. Desperate to get the comfort you usually felt whenever you were close to him. “Every day after that solstice, I tried to work up the courage to tell you. Every time I was around you. Every minute I wasn’t working, I was thinking about flying over and just telling you. But every time I worked up the courage and would find you, it would dissipate. Every fucking time. I would take one look at you and I would fear that the way you would see me would change, that the friendship that we shared would be ruined. I was fucking terrified of you not wanting me. Of you hating what fate had decided as your mate. And I was a fucking coward. I couldn’t take the risk of losing you… and just like that, two years had passed and Starfall was coming up. I had told Amren of my predicament and she-” 

“Wait. Amren knew?” You were flabbergasted. Of all the people you had expected Az to confide in, she was not one. Rhys or Cassian, or even Morrigan. But not Amren. You were almost certain Azriel still didn’t trust Amren after all these years of her being a part of the inner circle. 

“Yes dove, Amren. I knew she wouldn’t tell you before I had the chance. But I swear she almost tore my balls off for not telling you the night the bond snapped.” Azriel’s wings quivered at the thought, loosening from their tight positioning to snap together behind his spine. You snorted as you tried to imagine Azriel facing the tiny beast and speaking his deepest secret to her, only for her to threaten him with castration. He bumped his shoulder against yours, grinning softly at you finding humor in his story, “If I could continue please, I am not finished.” You raised an eyebrow lifting up your arm to gesture in front of you, “By all means shadowsinger.” 

He cleared his throat at your approval, “We basically spent two months planning out this elaborate surprise for you, mainly me of course. But of course, Amren added her input where she saw fit. I was going to take you dress and jewelry shopping, then to dinner at our favorite restaurant where we would eat the first meal we shared together and drink our favorite wine, and then I would dance with you under the falling stars and I would whisper into your ear my love for you and I was going to ask you to marry me. About a week before Starfall, you and Rhys went on a mission,” your muscles spasmed. He was going to ask you to marry him? Dread filled you. You knew where this story was going to end. That Starfall never happened. Not for you and Rhys. 

“A mission that neither you nor Rhys returned from. Gods Y/N. I felt it. I felt the moment when Rhys cut off any connection from all of us. I felt the wards of Velaris being put up into place, locking us in for fifty years to protect us from whatever had gotten you and Rhys.” He croaked out, “I felt our bond dulling Y/N. I thought you were fucking dying. I panicked. I threw myself at the wards, pleading to be let out. I- I tried coming for you. But you and Rhys were gone. Stuck. For fifty fucking years. None of us knew what was happening, only the rumors from refugees were available in terms of gathering information. Beyond that… I didn’t fucking know whether you were dead or alive. And if you were alive, I didn’t know what you were going through. It- Y/N. Y/N, it was the worst fifty years of my existence. Every day spent without you was like a thousand spears being shot into my wings and being pulled out. It- it felt like I was burning, not just my hands this time, but my entire body. I felt like I was burning alive for fifty years without any respite. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t move. I was fucking paralyzed. All I could do was wait.” 

His grip on your fingers had gotten impossibly tight as he pulled you into his grasp, wrapping his arm that once laid on your cheek around your waist, pulling you flush against him. He buried his face into your hair, taking a deep inhale to allow your scent to calm him, as his body began shaking from quiet sobs. You could feel his hot tears landing on your scalp and you held him right to you, rubbing his spine between his wings in comfort with one hand and tangling your fingers into his hair with the other. You turned your head into his neck, allowing for your soft breaths to press kisses into the tattooed skin, shushing him with soft murmurs of “I am right here and I am not going anywhere ever again.” A promise that you had to repeat a number of times before he was able to calm down. This night had left you both emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. Whatever was to come in the next couple of hours, at least you could hinge on the fact that you both would probably pass out from exhaustion into a dreamless sleep. The cool wisps of Azriel’s shadows snaked around your arms, wrapping around you for the first time since he began telling you his side of the story, their presence offering you their silent support. 

The next part of his story came out as whispers into your hair, your pointed ears straining to listen, “When Feyre killed Amarantha, everyone in Pyrthian felt the shift in power. The extra wards that had been placed around Velaris fell at once, and the connection between Rhys and the rest of us was suddenly humming. And I could feel you baby. I could feel you for the first time in fifty years after thinking you were dead. And I was on a fucking high. I was going to drop to my knees and tell you that we were mates the second you walked through the doors of the townhouse. I was fully prepared. But you didn’t come walking in. No. Rhys fucking carried you in, looking the most pale I had ever seen him. You weren’t moving. You were- Gods Y/N Morr immediately burst into tears and I could only stare and watch when she screamed out for Majda as everyone rushed to gather around you. You were so pale and you were skin on bones. There were bruises covering your body, you had a broken nose, and the skin around your eyes were swollen and blackened. The second Rhysand had set you down, I grabbed him by his shirt and pushed him into the wall screaming at him, screaming at him to tell me what had happened to you. Amarantha had ordered you to be beaten to death because you had been healing some of her victims under the mountain. Rhysand had gotten to you in the nick of time after Feyre killed Amarantha. He said he ripped off the heads of the soldiers who were trying to kill you. You were asleep for a fucking week, healing from all the physical trauma.”

When you woke up from your sleep, you had tried to be elated over the fact that you were back home in Valeris. But the events that occurred under the mountain had left you truly empty. At first, you hadn’t even been able to look anyone in the eyes except for Rhys. You hadn’t been able to speak, or eat, or sleep properly. You felt like an empty shell, and Rhysand was the only one who could possibly understand why. The bond that you two had grown under the mountain was as close to brother and sister as one could get without being biologically related. He had ensured your safety for the most part, and you were his rock when he had to suffer through Amarantha’s torture. You and him were the only ones to know what the other had truly gone through, and both of you had an unspoken agreement to not speak of the trauma to the others, despite the begging of Morr and Cassian. Azriel and Amren were the only ones who didn’t dare to ask, and now you were understanding why. Unconsciously, some part of Azriel had known what had happened to you. There was no need for him to ask. And maybe, probably, he didn’t want to know what happened. Maybe, probably, it was too much to bear to know what had happened all those years you had been stuck. 

“You weren't okay dove. You weren’t okay for a while, and I couldn’t just drop this information on you like it meant nothing. I couldn’t drop this on you because if you didn’t want me in the form of a mate, I didn’t want you to feel like you had lost me completely. I didn’t want you to feel like you went under the mountain and came out without your best friend to be by your side. I just… I just wanted you to be okay. So I shoved all my feelings aside and I was there for you in the best way I knew how to be, I was your best friend. I picked up any of the pieces that were your heart and did my best to put it back together. And just when you were starting to get better, just when you were beginning to smile and laugh and talk and whisper to me and cuddle with me, it was made clear that Amarantha’s reign was only the start of what was going to be a long battle against Hybern.” Azriel scoffed at the end of his rant, clearly frustrated by how the timing of everything had worked out. Most of the inner circle had believed that under the mountain had been the worst thing that we had ever been through as a team, but fate had a funny way of throwing things into your face and telling you to deal with it. 

When Rhysand had figured out Hyberns plot, he brought Feyre to the night court from spring. Your friendship with Feyre had blossomed under the mountain when you would sneak into her cell after Rhysand would leave, and would work on healing her. Speaking to her, stroking her hair as she would cry into your lap. You forget that she was only human when the fate of Pyrthian was placed on her shoulders. And her humanity was stolen from her as she died for the high lord of spring who had done nothing to help or protect her while she faced Amarantha. When you got to see her after months, she had been in similar shape as you, suffering from the trauma that Tamlin had brushed aside. You hated the high lord of spring for that, and made clear to Feyre that you were here for her and that you would help her in any way you could. Through that, you both helped each other get through the darkest parts of your lives. The war on Hybern was another source of trauma, not only inflicting the inner circle, but this time, including Feyre’s sisters. 

When you had first met the two, you couldn’t help but hate the both of them. Letting their youngest sister go into the woods alone to hunt for their family, and treating her so poorly when she returned as a fae had bothered every member of the inner circle. But then Tamlin and Ianthe had dragged them to the cauldron and turned them fae against their will; their screams echoing in your nightmares. Nesta was still working through her trauma, continuing her training as a valkyrie and bettering her relationship with Cassian and the rest of the inner circle. She had definitely grown on you, asking you a little bit about the healing techniques that the valkyrie warriors used to use during battle. Elain had taken up gardening, and your feelings towards her had not changed. Her trauma does not excuse her from being held accountable from her past actions, no matter how merciful Feyre has been towards her sisters, you haven’t forgotten. And neither has Rhysand, though he tended to focus on his anger towards Nesta, partially because both are hot headed whereas Elain had proved to be very sensitive. The other reason you had been bothered greatly by her was obviously her affections towards Azriel, but beyond that, the way she disrespected Lucien at every turn had left you feeling extreme heartache for the male. The redhead was constantly turned away despite his best efforts, and at this point, it just felt like she was stringing him along with his hope that maybe she would warm to him. Your feelings towards Elain had only been amplified when Azriel had taken a liking to Elain, helping her through her trauma and essentially left you feeling gutted and alone. A feeling that the spymaster had been actively trying to avoid by not telling you about your mating bond. Your patience was wearing thin, you wanted Azriel to stop beating around the bush. Even if it would hurt, you needed to know what he had been thinking this whole time in regards to Elain.

“Cut to the chase, Azriel.” It came out sharper than you had intended, pulling away from him. This was it. The root of your problem with Az. The explanation that would be make or break for your relationship with him. The spymaster seemed to not want to break off the physical contact between you to despite you pulling away, he brought his hands down to yours, fingers playing with yours. He also picked up on what you were referring to, he had to have known. He had to have fucking known how much he was fucking hurting you. There is just no fucking way he didn’t. And did he fucking want her? A lump formed in your throat, creating a burning sensation that spread down to your heart as the thought made you sick. She was extremely beautiful and soft and gentle, and she was a lot different than you in terms of personality. None of these doubts or worries had truly been addressed by his ramblings. Even though they had given you a lot of context to why he had hidden the bond. 

Before you could get lost in the feeling of doubt, Azriel gave a strong tug at the bond, sending down feelings of adoration and reassurance before rasping out, “Y/N, I want to start off with I am so sorry. So fucking sorry for how these past months have made you feel. How I made you feel. I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive myself. The next thing I want to say is that I have no feelings for Elain besides the platonic friendship. She means nothing to me, Y/N, not like that. I am sorry I did a piss-poor job showing it to you. I am sorry that the way I acted made you think differently. I- When I first met Feyre’s sisters, we, Cass and I, made this promise to them that no harm would befall them. And then they were drowned in the cauldron and turned to fae, and it was just this huge blow. Cassian especially I think because Nesta trusted him deeply to protect her, and he felt like he had failed. And I felt the same way. I felt the same fucking way with you Y/N. I had promised, sworn up and down and left and right that I would always protect you. It felt like… it felt like I had failed you once again. This time, through Elain, in this weird projection thing. I think in my head, when I looked at Elain, I was thinking of the you before Amarantha, and I just wanted to prevent anything from happening to her, because in the end, I wasn’t able to protect you. I failed you. I failed you when you went under the mountain, and again when we couldn’t protect Nesta and Elain. It felt like I failed you again. And then Feyre left to spy in spring court, and we were left to deal with the aftermath of Hybern. So Rhysand asked Cassian to look after Nesta and he asked for me to look after Elain. And I threw myself into it, because if I didn’t, then I would think about all the ways that I was and am an incompetent piece of shit mate. And in the process of trying to make sure Elain was okay, I unintentionally neglected you. Part of me just wanted to believe that you were okay, and you didn’t need me. Part of me wanted to believe that we were okay. That nothing had changed between us, and that once Elain was okay, we would figure things out between us with all the time in the world. That I would tell you of the mating bond, and you would accept it. That we would take our mating vows, and Rhysand would be the one officiating them because Cassian would fuck it up with his crying.” 

You huffed out a laugh as sobs began to bubble from your throat, “I really needed you Az.”

Azriel had squeezed his eyes shut, trying to drown out the sounds of your sobs as if it were causing him physical pain. “I know Y/N. I am so fucking sorry. There isn’t any excuse,” his own sobs tearing their way through his throat. He swallowed once, twice, three times before opening his eyes to focus his hazel irises into yours. “I can only promise to never do this to you again. I want- no- I need you to understand, no I need you to know that it’s you. It has always been you. It will always be you. Always. I need you to believe me, sweetheart. And if you don’t…If you don’t, then let me show you. The right way. The proper way. And if by the end of it, you don’t want anything to do with me, then I promise you, I will leave you alone, even if it fucking breaks me. Because I just want you safe and happy and loved the way you deserve. That is all I have fucking ever wanted since the moment I met you.” 

You pressed your lips together, nodding along at his promises. There wasn’t any excuse for how he had treated you. But there was an explanation. Azriel was taking responsibility, he was acknowledging his wrongs, and he was promising change. And after all this time of loving him, that was enough for now. “Az, I can’t accept the mating bond.” His entire body seized up, freezing, waiting for you to deliver the final blow where you would reject him and the bond. “Gods, Az, I want to. I have been in love with you for fucking years. But, I can’t accept it right now at least. I need to take things slow, and see the change first. I need to heal and I think you need to heal too. I need you to be my best fucking friend again. I need you to be there for me. I need you to love me.” Hope shone on his face, his lips quirking up into a soft smile as he huffed, a single tear streaking down his cheek. “How about this dove, how about we promise to each other that we will always love each other as best friends, that we will always put each other first, that we will heal each other, and that we will always come back to one another.” He held up his scarred pinky finger up to you, patiently waiting to see if you would grab on, giving you the option either way. At your hesitation, he whispered gently, “I promise Y/N.” A watery grin broke out across your face as you reached up to link your pinky with his, your own matching tear streaking down that he wiped away with his free hand, “I promise Azriel.”

Taglist: @paasrin @positivewitch @fieldofdaisiies @judig92 @sv0430 @highlady-ofillyria @wrensical003 @brekkershadowsinger @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @mrs-azriel @cityofidek @nova-stardragon @thewarriormoon @ilovespideyyy @azzydaddy @bookish-dream @nobody00sthings @marigold-morelli @solossweater @rubygirly @hanasakr @ellievickstar @shadowcrowsworld @lucyysthings @cameronsails @peachycandy10 @bruhhvv @flyingsquidsgrowwings-blog @adreamerforthestars @lahoete @mis-lil-red @his-sweet-nightmare @esposadomd @blurredlamplight @elizarikaallen @tiffthebookworm @valeridarkness  @wifeofcamillamacaulay @everyonehatescarmen  @grungy-blue-hipster @azriels-favorite-simp @goldentournesol @mariana468 @elsie-bells @slvetherinseeker @cafe-inaaa @honeyrydernot

[whatsamatteratsu]

Wow! Finally the end of their 3rd anniversary comic

Can’t wait to celebrate again next year!

[idontplaytrack]

shenanigans [10]: my precious angel

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader social media + texts fic

— ft. Regina, Cady, Damian, Gretchen, Karen & Aaron

————

Okay this is the end of it. Decided to link it to the mini story I did for Janis awhile ago, and have this as a bit of a supporting material for that story.

🏷️ Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @reneeswif3 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

[i-smoke-chapstick]

‘COME ON EILEEN!, [PART FOUR]

-GOTHAM!VICTOR ZSASZ X READER-

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; Reader needs a break. Victor just needs her.

⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!victor x female reader. SLOW BURN!!! This is a 4 part fic. AGE GAP ROMANCE! (reader is still in highschool). Gets a little hot and heavy at the end <3 no explicit smut, but a little bit of sexual tension. Victor pining for reader. Reader pining for a better, safer life. Some angst with a happy(ish) ending!

⋆ 'PART ONE, - 'PART TWO, - 'PART THREE, - 'PART FOUR,

♫ “Oh my thoughts I confess, verge on dirty.” Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners

You swallow the words burning in your throat. Why did you save me? They play over and over again in your head, but you’re rendered speechless. You already know. The dots have connected.

His gaze is still flitting over you, wildly. Despite his stoic expression, his brow bones furrow a tad, and you recognize the familiar sensation of concern. He’s in love with you.

What the fuck.

He has you pushed up against an alleyway wall. You reminice on what might have been- when you look into the glint of the streetlamps in his eyes. You still wonder- if it weren’t for Jim Gordon, would Victor even know your name? Or would he have found you in some other way? The thought makes you dizzy, a bit sick to your stomach.

Or maybe the feeling is coming from the bruise forming on your neck and shoulders from where Maroni’s goon had held you tightly. You don’t care.

Victor stays silent through the whole ordeal- you involuntarily flinch when you feel his gloved hands come up to push a stray strand of your hair back, revealing a dark mark forming. You swallow as you watch his jaw clench.

“I’m okay.” Is all you whisper- but it dies on your tongue. He notices, of course, and finally puts some space between the two of you.

A familiar scilence falls over. The distant sounds of police sirens ring. You briefly wonder how your life will be from this moment foward. No more school. No more Jim. No more fake friends. You want to smile at that, but you’re not strong enough. It all stings.

You briefly wonder what Victor will even do. Turn you back to Falcone? Swallow his feelings, push them down?

He fidgets with his trigger finger, and finally lets out a short huff of relief. You watch him recooperate.

“Good work out there,” Is all he says, voice forced. His teeth are gritted and you can tell he’s still processing. The adrenaline of running away pumps between you two, and you can feel your heart move the air of the shirt you’re wearing. You shiver.

“Thank you.” You mumble, and you finally feel the weight of everything come crashing down. Maybe it’s you being childish- but you feel tears well up in your eyes. You feel petulant in comparison to the strangley kept man in front of you. He has years on you, and yet you both are in complete disarray.

He perks his head up at your tears, and his lips part a bit.

He doesnt say anything, but you feel your eyes widen when he pulls you into a long deep hug. You feel his leather clad arms clutch onto you, and inhale deeply into your hair.

You sob as he holds you- head spinning. The scilence doesn’t ease your worries- but his touch does. In the moment; that’s enough.

The two of you ended up back at Falcones mansion somehow. It was all blurry through your tears- you weren’t quite sure when his embrace became him whisking you up bridal style- carrying you blocks down. You held onto him the whole way. He didn’t say a single word.

He finally dropped you on your feet when you two were in the mansion, an empty living room. You rubbed your eyes and felt the balls of your feet drop onto the hard wood floor. You could smell fire wood, and you glanced around- recognizing the room as a vacant bedroom.

“You…y’know, okay?” He spoke, for the first time since your walk back. His words sounded nonchalant, but you could hear the undertone of concern. He gave a weak thumbs up as he spoke, demonstrating.

No, you wanted to say. You had to carry me four blocks back. My life is fucked. I’m a fugitive. An assassin’s in love with me. My only friend hates me. Falcone wants me dead. But you cleared your throat, voice raw from sobbing and sniffling.

“Um. Yeah.”

He nodded. His thoughts were swimming like yours.

He went to leave the room, but stopped at the door. He turned around, finger wagging.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” He scolded, and somehow it made you smile at the irony.

“What are you going to do, Vic?” He paused at the nickname, eyes softening. “You gonna kill me on your bosses orders? Or are you going to take me under your wing, make me one of your henchwomen, or whatever?” Your words were bitter. You mentally wanted to punch yourself. The man just saved your ass.

“…No ones going to hurt you.” He whispered, and his tone was genuine. It was in this moment- you wanted to kiss him. But the distance between you two was far too great. “Im gonna have a…talk…with the boss.” He muttered, eyes never straying. You raised an eyebrow. “You’re too important to kill.” The words were a double edged sword.

“Because I’m a good informant?” You questioned, tone still hostile.

“…Because I care about you.” Even though he hesitated to say the words, he still said them so casually. So nonchalantly.

Before you could say a thing- he walked out the door, turning on his heel. You flopped down on the bed, finally letting yourself sleep through your nausea.

When you awoke, the fire place was extinguished. You sat up from a nightmare. It was of the man you’d seen die some time ago. He’d taken the place of Jim Gordon- pointing a gun at you, choruses of Why didn’t you save me? ringing out.

With a start, you clutched the sheets. You jumped when you saw Victor, sitting in a chair, looking over at you. He was playing with your hair, effectively unsurprised when you awoke. His grip only tightened. You winced at the pull of his fingers, and a darker look spread on his face.

“Victor,” You breathed, “Hi.”

“Hell-o.” He drawled out, voice settled at a comfortable pitch.

“Were you watching me sleep?”

“Yeah.”

“…Why?”

“Oh, y’know…bordem. Lack of things to kill these days.” He shrugged it off, quipping. You rolled your eyes. He was in a much better mood now, it seemed. More to his usual, dry humor loving self.

“Your hand.” You motioned to the hand in your hair.

“Yeah, that’s staying there, sorry about that.” He gave a fake grimace, nodding.

“…Why?” You repeated once more, and he let out a low blow of air.

“You just don’t give it up, do you?”

You shook your head. Scilence befell. You watched his adam’s apple bobble in his throat.

“I…don’t want…you to…die.” He spoke each word slowly- as if he was unsure of the words coming out of his own mouth.

“Gee, thanks.” Sarcasm laced its way through your words, and he shrugged. “I like you too.” You added on, in a whisper, and his eyes narrowed in on you instantly.

“What?”

“Nothing,”

“Repeat that.” His voice darkened.

“I said I like you too.”

You only now realized how close your faces were.

In a quick moment, he threaded his hands through your hair, and pulled your neck back. You let out a yelp at the force. His breathing turned heavier as he buried his face into your neck- inhaling your scent once more. You felt his lips hover over your jugular, his eyes closing in bliss.

“What do you mean by that?” He gritted out. His voice was low, dangerous. You were scared…but you subconsciously clenched your thighs together.

“…I’m in love with you too, Vic.” You whispered against him, and it was all he needed to lose whatever thread of self control was keeping him sane. He pressed a gentle kiss to your throat, before another, and another, and soon enough he was licking a long stripe from your throat to your lips, which he captured in a skilled movement.

You kissed back, surroundings unfamiliar. He was the only person you could trust. He was the only person you had. The only part of your new situation that would stay with you. Yeah, your life might be fucked, but you’d rather do it in style. You’d rather spend a life time sipping milkshakes with Zsasz, learning how to shoot a gun, smelling the gunpowder and cologne on his clothes. You’d rather kiss him in this moment, than figure all of your shit out. He was devoted to you. He protected you. He carried you home. He was the only thing garunteed to stay.

You shivered when he stopped his movements, resting his head against yours. He let out a dry chuckle against your lips, and you felt the ghost of a smile on yours.

You don’t know whats waiting for you in the morning. If there will be a bounty on your head. You don’t know if you’ll ever find a greater purpose.

But you know Victor will be there. And that’s enough for you…for now.

[perfectlyscentedturtle-7]

Flowers in the garden centre part 3!🪻🪴🌻

[yyh4ever]

Yu Yu Hakusho 30th Anniversary Commemorative Illustrations 5 - Final Part

Art by: Hirotaka Marufuji, Chief Animation Director of the Yu Yu Hakusho OVAs, released in the 25th Anniversary Blu-ray BOX in 2018.

Studio Pierrot has unveiled two more new illustrations in celebration of the 30th Anniversary of Yu Yu Hakusho anime. This time, they designed Yusuke and Enki/Raizen/Yomi/Mukuro. They also released the art of Hiei/Yukina, Botan and Genkai without the fancy background. The Pierrot Store announced that more merch is on the way. So, stay tuned! I think we can expect more 30th anniversary DXF figures as well.

Like they did with the first, second, third, and fourth commemorative illustrations, they've continued the redraw in anime style of the kanzenban covers designed by Togashi in 2004-2005.

This project began in 2022 to celebrate the 30th Anniversary and ends today, on October 10, 2023, when the Yu Yu Hakusho anime commemorates its 31st Anniversary!

On his Twitter, Hirotaka Marufuji thanked everyone for the opportunity to be the original illustrator of the 30th anniversary kanzenban-anime illustrations.

Well, I still hope to see a remake of the anime some day.

[cilliansdove]

SHOUTING || tommy shelby fanfic ( last part )

pairings : tommy shelby x fem!reader

warnings : angst, death

rating : 16+

part1 part2

a/n: This is my writing and I take full credit for it so please do not copy x paste/rewrite the writing. You may repost/like/comment etc. Enjoy reading!!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

My head was throbbing. Voices were muffled around me…I think?

I squinted my eyes at the bright light hovering over me, but someone stepped in front of it.

“Hiya, Love. You feeling alright?” Polly asked.

Groaning, I tried to sit up but recognised it wasn’t my bed, “Where am I?” I croaked.

“You fell, Y/n. Down the stairs. And you hit your head,” Tommy spoke up.

Why the fuck is he here?

“You’re here?”

Tommy replaced where Polly was stood and grabbed my hand. I cringed at his actions and tensed.

Tommy looked around for Polly to leave. Scoffing, she left.

The only person I needed with me right now was Polly and she left because of this twat.

“You’re my wife, Y/n. Whether you like it or not, you always will be,” he paused for a second, “I love y-”

“Don’t finish that sentence, Tommy. Just…don’t. Both you and I know actions speak louder than words. Hmm?”

“I fucked up okay?”

Wow. He was actually admitting something for once.

“But I don’t know how to fix it, Y/n. I don’t know how to make you or I feel any better.”

“You can’t!” My voice was strained after being asleep for what felt like forever.

“You can’t fix this, Tommy. Not now. Not ever! I thought I made that clear.”

He shook his head and looked to the ceiling before looking at me. Dead. In the eye, “Well you could’ve made it clearer. I tried leaving you. Alone. But you came running after me and ended up here. Where I am now.”

Though I didn’t want to admit it, he sounded hurt. But I couldn’t forgive him. He did it once, he would do it again. I can’t go through that again.

“I- I don’t know why I came after you, alright? I don’t have an answer to that, Tommy.”

A tight pain was coming from the back of my head. Whilst Tommy was trying to put words into my mouth, I moved my hand to feel the back of my head. I pulled it away.

With my shaking hand, I pulled it to my face looking at the blood dripping from my fingertips.

Tommy was still blabbering on whilst I lay in a panic on a hospital bed.

He stopped after he noticed I wasn’t responding, and looked to my dripping hand.

His eyes widened and he stopped breathing for a second, “Pol! Polly!” He bellowed.

She slammed through in a hurry, scared almost.

Polly looked back and forth and Thomas and I, “I’ll get a nurse.”

Tommy shook his head, “She’s not gonna make it, Pol,” he whispered.

He sat down on the chair beside me, and held my hand, rubbing his fingers back on forth soothingly.

“I am so, so sorry.”

I looked at him with tiredness pulling me in, “You know I can’t forgive you, Tom.”

I wasn’t scared of death, I’d say. Throughout the years I’d faced death many times yet always managed to escape it. Not this time.

Tommy looked frightened. Worried. Guilty. Most of all, he looked like he cared.

He hadn’t cared about anything, or a lot, in a long time.

I felt his fingers feel through my hair and he leant down to kiss my forehead. Then my lips. Then the ring on my finger.

Polly stood motionless. She didn’t know how to react. I think that hurt me more.

The woman who was like a mother to me, couldn’t even get one word out.

My breathing was slowing down and I pulled at Tommy. Yes, I hated him. I hated him so much. But throughout the years, he had bought so much comfort to me.

His face tucked into my neck and I felt a tear on my shoulder. Knowing he was crying, made me cry too, I guess.

Tommy pulled away and looked at me with such love.

“I love you,” he said, “And I’m sorry, my love. I am so fuckin’ sorry.”

I felt his head on my chest and my eyes lingered on Polly. She was holding the door frame or support but it was clear her legs were buckling. She slid down the frame slowly looking at nothingness.

“Pol-”

“Don’t waste your breath, sweetheart,” she managed to stand up and come over, “You rest now, yeah?”

I nodded and looked up to stop the tears but it didn’t work.

As I took my last longing breath, a kiss was placed to my lips from the one I love. The one I would always love.

But I wouldn’t let him rest easy. No.

I’d make sure he’d sleep in fear. And that when he would remarry, as I’m sure he will, his wife will sleep in fear too. But neither will tell each other. They can’t. It would mean facing the truth.

Both are to cowardly to do so.

[iamnotthere-idonotdie]

adored, pt. 3

…………………………………………………………………………………….

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synopsis: reader and bruce continue spending time together, but a tragedy in gotham city seems to change his mind about whether this can work

warnings: bruce wayne (battinson) x reader, no explicit description of sex, one use of “fuck”

a/n: final part of this story, i was hoping to incorporate this idea that bruce is concerned about the safety of being with him, he knows his role as the batman is dangerous and anyone in association with him is in danger too, maybe he wouldn’t actually think this way but i always thought he’d be concerned about getting too close to people, again maybe that’s ooc but that’s just where my mind went, i was inspired this time by the song i won’t let you go by snow patrol (yes from the divergent soundtrack) so here’s the playlist link again if you’d like, as always sorry about the typos that are probably here

thanks by the way for the likes on the first two parts! i didn’t even think anyone would read these let alone like them so i appreciate it :) i’m working on a few other stories that are also bruce wayne/batman x reader so i’m excited to get those out, i’m hoping that over time and with more practice i’ll get better at writing, so i guess just bear with me as i work on it!

edit: link to part 2 and part 1

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you finally make your way out of bruce’s bed in the morning. you find your way out of the twisted sheets and step into the cold hardwood floor. bruce isn’t there, he must already be awake. you rub your eyes as you try to adjust to the sunlight creeping through the gap in the almost closed curtains. bruce walks in, holding two mugs of what you’re hoping is hot coffee. he hands you one and sits next to you on the bed. the two of you stay there for a while, sipping your coffee, silent, just like the last time you met.

“how are you feeling?” he asks. you think he’s still concerned about last night, about the paparazzi.

“i’m good. very good” you smile and rest your head on his shoulder.

“me too” he says softly, as he wraps his arm around you.

the rest of the day is spent with the two of you laying in bed, talking, kissing, him falling asleep multiple times. he seems exhausted, so you let him sleep, then he wakes up and pretend-scolds you for letting him drift off again. it’s a perfect day, with just each other.

sunset comes around and you almost ask if you can stay another night. before you get the chance though, bruce comes up to you and hands you a set of new pajamas and some other clothes. he says he asked his butler to go out and buy you some extra things to wear.

“thank you, you didn’t need to do this.”

“you only have your outfit from last night.”

“i could’ve gone home.”

“i didn’t want you to.”

this night is spent similarly to last, with the two of you spending it under covers, together. you think to yourself that you don’t want this weekend to ever end. you want to always stay, right here, with him.

the next morning though, bruce’s mood has shifted. you wake up alone again, but this time you’re not met with a cup of coffee. you’re not met with a good morning, a smile, nothing. you change into one of the outfits bruce gave you and find him downstairs in the living room, reading through some folder. he quickly closes it when he notices you and it sets it down on the table he’s standing next to.

you look at the television on the wall that’s playing the news, and see an anchor talking in a concerned tone.

“last night, on the edge of town, blue ridge factory suffered a sudden explosion. eleven are dead and 19 more are injured, including 3 currently in intensive care. law enforcement are still unsure about the cause of the explosion, and though they suspect it was accidental, they are not ruling out foul play.”

“oh my god,” you say in shock. “that’s so horrible.”

bruce walks towards you slowly, keeping his eyes on the television.

“what happened, do you think? do you think it really was an accident?” you ask him. you can feel a lump in your throat. all those poor people, their families.

“i don’t know.” he quietly replies.

“it’s just so sad. maybe the batman can help them with the investigation. he helped with the riddler.”

bruce just continues staring at the television.

“yeah. maybe.” he says flatly.

he walks out of the room, taking the folder from the table with him.

you’re still horrified at what happened at the factory, but you’re now also confused at bruce’s reaction to it. maybe he’s just more upset about it than you thought. you stay there, watching the news, and a few minutes later bruce comes back, no folder in hand.

“alfred can take you back home today whenever you want.” he says flatly.

you turn to him, surprised at the sudden change in mood.

“oh.. okay.”

“something just came up that i need to take care of.”

“alright.”

you get up from the couch and head towards the door. figuring that what he really means is that you should go, now. bruce’s butler has packed up your things and is coming down the stairs with it now. you pause for a moment at the door, then turn back to look at bruce.

“i had a good time this weekend. thank you.”

bruce slowly walks towards you, then gently puts his hand on your face.

“i did too.” and he kisses you. you can’t help but sense a sadness in his eyes as he says goodbye. you walk out the door, get into the car, and drive away. all the while hoping, praying, begging, that this goodbye is the last.

…

it’s been five days. no word from bruce. you’ve woken up every day hoping that this wasn’t it, that you wouldn’t become just an every-two-week hookup.

you’re sitting there at your desk, at your same job, waiting, like everyday, for 5pm to come so you can leave. you of course haven’t gone back to the bar. in fact you haven’t gone much of anywhere besides work. you just don’t see the point.

you look at the clock and see 4:59 blinking at you. as you start to gather your things, you hear the door swing open. you sigh, ready to put on a happy face for this annoying person who decided to walk in right as you’re closing. you look up from your bag though, and it’s bruce.

you’re shocked. what was he doing here?

“hi,” he says quietly.

“hi,” your reply.

“i need to speak with you” he looks concerned.

fuck. this is it.

“okay, do you want to talk here?”

“we can go back to my place.”

“okay.”

you get up from your desk and follow him outside to his car. luckily, no one’s there with cameras so you don’t have to worry about being in the news again.

after a minute of riding, bruce reaches over and puts your hand in his, silently. you hold his back and he squeezes slightly, and you feel butterflies in your stomach.

when you get back to his home, you’re appalled to see vans and a crowd of people waiting outside the gate.

“oh my god,” you say as you stare out the window at them. “what are they doing here?”

bruce seems just as confused as he looks at them too.

“someone must have seen me leave with you at work,” you start thinking out loud. “and they all decided to come here and wait for us to come.”

bruce just stays silent, clearly angry that they’ve come to his home.

you pull into the long driveway and the two of you do your best to get inside as quick as possible. you sit in the same living room as you did before, and you wait to see if bruce is going to tell you what he needed to talk to you about. he just comes and sits down next to you.

“so… what did you want to talk about?” you ask, trying to approach this delicately in case it’s going to turn into a sensitive conversation.

“it’s about this. about us.”

you wait for it, for the end.

“i don’t think it’s a good idea.”

you just sit there for a moment. you knew it was coming, but it doesn’t take away from the sting of hearing him say it out loud.

“is it because of the press?”

“partially but… no it’s just… not…”

he stutters over his words.

“what is it? is it me?”

“no… it’s…”

“then what bruce? if you’re going to cut this off then i at least deserve to know why.”

he sighs and gets up from the couch. you sit there still, looking up at him, waiting for an answer.

“i’m not safe.”

…what? what does he mean he’s not safe?

“being with me, is not safe. the paparazzi, the press, all of that can be handled. it’s the others who are the issue… i have a lot of enemies being me, having this,” he gestures around him. “and a lot of those enemies take their hatred into their own hands. i can only do so much to protect you from it. you’re not safe with me.” his voice trails off with sadness as you just look at him.

that seems a bit dramatic to you. sure he’s had issues with people before, threats and the like, but he’s always been okay. why is he now starting to get worried?

“i’m not afraid of all that. i’ll be okay.”

“i can’t guarantee that. and i can’t knowingly put you in harms way. the one thing those people know how to do is hurt, and if they see us, then they’ll try to use you against me. and i can’t allow that to happen to you.” his voice starts to rise a bit and you can tell he’s getting more and more upset.

“bruce…”

“i’m sorry.”

he looks at you with tears in his eyes and you stand up to comfort him, but he swiftly walks out of the room, leaving you to contemplate everything he just said. his butler slowly approaches you and asks if you’d like a ride home. all you do is nod as he takes you out the back door to the garage where you can leave without being seen by the hoard out front.

you cry the whole drive home. you cry over bruce, over losing him, over what he said to you. when you stop at your apartment, alfred looks in the mirror at you.

“i’m sorry about this. bruce is… well, he has some trouble letting people in. and when he does, he tries to do everything he can to not lose them. even if that means pushing them away.”

you look back at him, wondering if that’s really true.

“thank you for the ride, sir.”

“anytime.” he smiles sadly at you and you leave the car and head up to your apartment. crying in here has become an all too common practice for you. you lay in bed, tears flowing, and you eventually cry yourself to sleep.

…

it’s day six since you had that talk with bruce. day six of trying to forget him. but when he’s the richest, most famous man in the city, it becomes quite difficult to avoid reminders.

as you sit in your living room, drinking a glass of wine, in and out of crying fits, you suddenly get the urge to snap out of this self-pity and get dressed up. something about putting on a nice outfit makes you feel better, even if there’s no where to go and no one to see.

but once you get the outfit on, you get a weird feeling. you don’t know why, but something’s telling you to go the bar. maybe you need to go once by yourself to get some closure. maybe you want to listen to the music. maybe you just want a stronger drink. but for whatever reason, you leave your apartment and get a taxi there.

it’s pretty crowded tonight, your usual table is taken by a young couple. you sit at a different spot across the room, giving you a clearer view of the door. you try not to look at it as you sip your drink, but every time the door swings open, you can’t help but glance over to see who it is. it’s never him. hours go by. couples have come and gone. the band has switched to a more quiet setlist. you’re on your third drink. and you miss him. by god, do you miss him. you miss dancing. you miss his bed. you miss his rare smiles. you start to feel the tears again as you see the door open out of the corner of your eye. surely another person has left, leaving you in a near-empty bar. but you look over and you see him. he stands there for a moment, and you just look at each other.

without thinking you stand up, walk over to him, and kiss him. he holds you tightly and you fall into him, letting his embrace overwhelm you. you finally pull away from each other and you notice the camera flashes outside through the windows. you look up at him and he smiles.

“we can handle them.” he says.

“yes, we can.”

“we can handle whatever anyone throws at us.”

“yes, we can.”

he starts to pull away but you continue holding, willing him to not let you go, not yet.

he puts his arms around you again and holds you tight.

“i’m here. i won’t let you go.”

…………………………………………………………………………………….

[ericshoney]

Stalker Boy ~ Final

The past few weeks have been relaxed, much to your surprise. You thought that being locked in a house all day and only seeing the same person would be boring and it would make you upset, but you've actually quite liked it. Not having to deal with any stress at work, paying bills or annoying people. You were content with Sunwoo and your dog Buster. But also very oblivious.

Oblivious to the fact Sunwoo had been drugging you. It wasn't a heavy drug, just one to keep you calm and relaxed. Something Sunwoo loved seeing was you happy, even with a bit of help from some drugs. He loved you a lot and you were slowly feeling the same for him.

At the very moment, you sat on the sofa, trying to pick a movie for you and Sunwoo to watch. As you scrolled through Netflix, Sunwoo was in the kitchen, making you both a drink, remembering to slip a little something extra into your one.

When he entered the living area, Sunwoo smiled at your curled up form on the sofa. He came over, pecking your cheek as he passed you your drink.

"Thank you." You replied softly.

"Anything for my girl." He responded, sitting next to you, placing an arm behind you on the sofa.

You smiled, sipping the drink, sighing as you sunk into Sunwoo's warm body, feeling happy and relaxed. You eventually picked a movie and the two of you watched it quietly, as Buster slept in his bed.

About forty minutes into the movie, you started to feel slightly bored. You glanced up at Sunwoo's face, seeing him focused on the TV. You smiled, taking in his beauty. How soft his lips looked.

"Babe, your staring." He whispered, his eyes still on the TV.

"Oh....So...Sorry." You apologised facing the TV again, but heard a chuckle.

"I didn't say it was a bad thing, darling~" He said, placing a hand on your chin, making you look back at him.

You smiled softly at him, feeling your cheeks heat up. Sunwoo chuckled and leaned in, kissing you softly. You closed your eyes enjoying the moment, but when he pulled away, the warm feeling had gone and you were left cold. You didn't even realised you frowned, until Sunwoo mentioned it.

"What's with the sad face, my love?" He asked.

"I...um nothing." You mumbled.

"Don't lie, pretty girl." He said, leaning in so his hot breath tickled your lips again.

"I...I wanted more." You confessed.

"More?" He repeated.

"Yeah...more kisses." You said.

Sunwoo looked at you and you thought he was going to laugh, thinking you were being silly or childish. But he then smirked and pulled you to straddle his lap. His lips were quickly back on yours with a harder force.

You closed your eyes once again and opened your mouth, letting his tongue slip in your mouth. You let out a small moan, making him smirk.

Sunwoo pulls away from the kiss, his lips travelling down your neck. You sigh in delight as he finds your sweet spot, gently sucking on it.

"Fuck I love you." He whispered against your neck, kissing the area again.

"Hmm....love you too." You said, making him freeze.

"Say that again." He demanded.

Sunwoo looked you in the eyes, his slightly wide with excitement and joy. You smiled and kissed his nose.

"I love you." You admitted.

Sunwoo smiled wide and kissed your lips again. He stood up and wrapped your legs around his waist, carrying you to the bedroom, knowing he had won. Having you in his hold. Forever~

The End.

[kybercrystals94]

The Stardust Conspiracy (Part 4)

Read on Ao3 here!

(Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3)

Rated: G | Words: 2139 | Summary: The truth finally comes out about Stardust

“Is this it?” Hunter asks, holding up a metal latch.

Echo barely glances at it before resuming his search through his own crate of miscellaneous parts. “No.”

Hunter drops the latch back into the crate with a heavy clang. “What did Tech say he needed these parts for?”

“He didn’t say specifically. Just that it was for a critical upgrade.”

“Well, it’s turning into a critical headache,” Hunter grumbles, halfheartedly rummaging. They’d been at this for hours, scouring the market for a list of parts Tech had given them. The list maker himself had conveniently needed to make some repairs to the main console and enlisted Omega’s help, leaving Echo, Hunter, and Wrecker to do the supply run. Wrecker had disappeared about half an hour ago, claiming a vital errand but Hunter knew his brother was circling back to the vendor selling sweets they had passed earlier in the day.

Echo holds up a part. “This is what we’re looking for. I thought you said you checked in here.”

“That’s not at all what you described.”

“It’s exactly what I described!”

Hunter rolls his eyes, conceding the argument. “Well, at least we found it. Now we can find Wrecker and get back to the ship.”

After haggling over the price with the shopkeeper, Hunter comms Wrecker to get his location. Based on the hem and hawing, he knows that the giant clone probably spent more credits on whatever snack food he’d discovered than they probably paid for all of Tech’s random parts.

“I’ll meet ya back at the ship,” Wrecker decides, booming voice tinny through the comm. He signs out quickly.

“I wonder how much his little errand is gonna set us back,” Echo muses as they pick their way through the crowded sidewalks.

Hunter huffs, sounding vaguely amused. “We can afford to let the kids have their fun once in a while.”

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>

Omega watches Tech work on the Marauder’s main console, adjusting a lever that has been sticking. He is hoping to have the repair done before their brothers get back from their supply run in town. While Omega doesn’t want to distract him, she gauges by his unhurried movements, that the task is nearly completed. He is simply taking his time.

Leaning forward, Omega poses the question that has been forming all afternoon. “You know, don’t you?”

Tech doesn’t even look away from his project. “I know many things. You’ll have to be more specific.”

Omega rolls her eyes and grins. “About Stardust,” she clarifies.

This earns Tech’s full attention, and Omega catches the mischievous glint in his eye as he turns to meet her gaze. “Ah. About the criceto housed next to the nav computer. Yes. I am aware of her presence.”

“Have you known all along?” Omega asks.

Tech puts his tools aside, arranging them by size, as a rare and wry smile appears. “Not all along. But since late the first night, yes. She and I are well acquainted.”

“You also found her the day she escaped,” Omega says.

Tech chuckles. “Yes, I did. What gave me away? Besides the fact that a creature of her size would find it nearly impossible to return to her enclosure given its location.”

“When I was cleaning her cage, I found more seeds than I’ve ever given her,” Omega says. She giggles. “You spoil her, Tech!”

Tech scoffs, but the accusation sticks. “I retrieved her, didn’t I? She was just being fairly compensated for her cooperation.”

Omega smiles widely. “I knew you’d love her!”

“I am fond of her,” Tech allows, demurring the use of the word love. “She has proven to be an engaging companion during late watch shifts. I have been training her to sit on my shoulder. She seems to be enraptured by the glow of hyperspace.”

“You can train her?” Omega is in absolute awe.

“Of course,” Tech says, “I have been researching the behaviors and habits of cricetos. They are incredibly intelligent. They’ve even been known to complete complex obstacle courses with the proper incentives.”

Omega gasps. “Can we build Stardust an obstacle course?”

Tech is practically glowing in the brilliance of his sister’s enthusiasm. “Absolutely. I’ve already drawn up a few plans if you’d like to look over them. I’d value your input.” He brandishes a data pad, taps through some files, then hands it over to Omega.

She is pouring over the first schematic when realization strikes. “If you’ve known about Stardust all this time, why wouldn't you tell us? Hunter, Echo and Wrecker think you haven’t noticed her yet.”

“I’m conducting an experiment,” Tech replies easily. “How long before they realize there is no keeping stowaways on my ship without my knowledge…it has proven to be an amusing study.”

“What if they never figure it out?” Omega asks.

Tech turns back to his project. “Oh, I’m sure they will figure it out soon enough.”

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>

Omega smells something wonderfully sweet alongside the sound of Wrecker bounding up the ramp. “I’m home!” he bellows, “And I brought a surprise!”

Omega looks to Tech to make sure he doesn’t need any more help, and he tips his head slightly to indicate that she’s free to go. She runs out into the main area to meet her biggest brother. Wrecker is holding a box overflowing with pastries. They are warm and fresh and beautiful, curls of steam floating off of them.

Omega bounces on her toes. “I can’t believe Hunter and Echo let you get all that!” she says excitedly, eyeing a specific baked good dripping in icing.

Wrecker makes a face. “They might not know about it yet. It was kind of a surprise for all of you.”

“You forget they know you, Wrecker,” Tech says, coming in to replace the tool kit to its shelf. “The moment you disappeared from their sight, they knew you were going to get a treat of some kind.”

“That’s not true!” Wrecker balks while Omega laughs.

As if summoned, Hunter and Echo appear, Hunter holding the crate of supplies on his shoulder. “At least tell me you got something that’s actually good this time,” Hunter says, dropping the box by the door.

“Mantel Mix is good!” Wrecker argues, “But this is even better!”

“Well, put them away in the warmer for now,” Echo says, “Healthy food first.”

“Aw,” Wrecker and Omega protest in unison.

“None of that,” Hunter says. “Echo’s right. Late meal first.”

While Wrecker and Omega continue to wheedle with Hunter, Tech approaches the box of supplies with a critical eye. “You found everything on my list?” he asks Echo.

“Took us most of the day,” Echo says, waving his scomp at the offending items, “but yes, we found everything on your list.”

Tech brightens. “Excellent! I will be able to start on that critical upgrade later tonight.”

“What exactly is this upgrade again?” Echo asks.

“Oh, I didn’t tell you?” Tech looks vaguely surprised, although Echo gets the impression it is not genuine.

The cyborg frowns. “No. You didn’t.”

“Must’ve slipped my mind,” Tech says elusively, but he doesn’t elaborate. Instead, he turns to intervene in the argument that Hunter is on the verge of losing.

What are you up to? Echo wonders.

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>

Late meal is a compromise of nutritional rations and incredibly unhealthy pastries, much to Wrecker and Omega’s delight. Tech had unexpectedly changed sides during the debate, saying that if Wrecker had already spent all those credits on fresh pastries, they might as well consume them while they were at optimal temperature. He had been awarded a huge smile and brief hug from Omega for his contribution to the cause. Hunter didn’t miss the trace of an indulgent grin on Tech’s face as he gave their little sister a single pat on top of her feathery blond head in response.

Hunter knows he really should just come clean about the criceto. Tech might resist the idea for a while, but he’d come around when he saw how good having a pet is for Omega. They’d had Stardust for nearly a standard month now...Hunter isn’t sure how he is going to explain that.

Late meal finishes, and Hunter begins to work on how he is going to break the news to Tech. He has come up with a few subtle openers when Tech enters the main room with the crate of supplies they’d bought that day. He starts laying the pieces out on the table, muttering to himself as he inspects each one.

“Yes,” he says out loud after everything is in whatever order he has deemed useful, “these will do quite nicely. Hunter, I wonder if you’d be so kind as to retrieve Stardust’s cage for me?”

The silence that follows the offhanded request is so dense, even Hunter’s vibroknife couldn’t cut through it.

Tech tilts his head, looking puzzled. “Is something wrong?” he asks Hunter when the silence has stretched to a painfully awkward length.

Hunter isn’t sure when his mouth dropped open, but he snaps it shut, teeth audibly clacking together. “The parts...” Hunter begins, pauses, restarts, “You said you needed parts for a critical upgrade?”

Tech nods slowly, as though he is dealing with a particularly stupid life form. “I believe altering Stardust’s cage so that she is not escaping into the interior of the ship at odd hours would be considered a critical upgrade.”

“Kriff, Tech!” Echo bursts out, “How long have you known?”

Tech gives his cyborg brother a wounded look, but there is a glimmer of mirth behind the tinted glass of his goggles. “I understand that I am the one with enhanced cerebral processing, but did any of you actually think I wouldn’t notice a criceto in a cage next to the nav computer on my ship?”

Omega is the first one to laugh outright, her melodic giggling breaking through the building tension. Wrecker and Echo immediately follow her example, laughter explosive.

“So, wait,” Hunter says, “You’ve known since...”

Tech rolls his eyes. “I’ve known since the very first night, Hunter.”

Hunter feels the warmth of embarrassment burn across his face.

Tech gives him a lopsided grin, obviously relishing the situation. “I also know that our little friend was able to evade your enhancement after her escape, which is why I employed my own tactics and found her myself.”

“You found her?” Echo gasps between hysterics.

“Of course, I found her,” Tech says, “Did you really think a creature of her size could climb back into her cage of her own power?”

Hunter rubs a hand down his face. “I’m an idiot.”

“You’re all idiots,” Tech corrects him wryly, “The exception being Omega who figured out I’d known about Stardust for an extensive period of time.”

“Tech’s even trained Stardust to sit on his shoulder, and we are going to build her an obstacle course!” Omega pipes up excitedly.

While Omega continues to explain the specifics of the theorized obstacle course in great detail, Hunter meets Tech’s eye. His brother offers him a subtle grin and a wink. Hunter shakes his head and smiles. He should’ve known Tech would love having a little creature to study in the comforts of their wayfaring home.

<<>><<>><<>><<>><<>><<>>

Stardust is perched in the hollow of Tech’s neck and shoulder, contentedly nibbling at seeds Tech offers her when Hunter enters the cockpit. Hunter drops into the copilot’s seat with a smile. “Looks like you’re Stardust’s best friend.”

Tech is looking at his data pad. “Bribery is an excellent resource when it comes to earning the affection of animals.”

“So, you spoil her,” Hunter deadpans.

Tech chuckles. “Perhaps, but I doubt you have tried to resist her request for more seeds when she puts out her paws. She can be very persuasive.”

“Is that your way of saying she’s cute?”

“If that is how you interpret it, I wouldn’t disagree,” Tech says. He sets aside his data pad and turns to face Hunter fully. “Have you had much opportunity to interact with the creature?”

Hunter shakes his head.

Tech promptly puts his hand up to Stardust, and the criceto climbs into his hand. Tech offers the fluff ball to Hunter. “Here, I think you will better understand my plight if you have first-hand experience.”

Hunter hesitates a moment but puts out his hand. Stardust sniffs at him skeptically. Tech drops several seeds into Hunter’s palm. Stardust perks up immediately, whiskers twitching and feet carefully climbing out of Tech’s hand and into Hunter’s.

“Omega was right. I can barely even feel her in my hand,” Hunter marvels under his breath.

“She only weighs approximately one hundred grams,” Tech informs him.

Stardust is busily tucking the seeds into her cheek pouches, and once they are gone, she gazes up at Hunter expectantly, paws reaching, minuscule fingers splayed.

Tech was right. How can Hunter possibly say no to that?

END

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