#Focused Health

[dgf2099]

The Driver Suit Blog-Paint Scheme Grades-June 1, 2024

By David G. Firestone Ross Chastain will drive the No. 1 Jockey x Folds of Honor Chevy Camaro-Not as good as Jockey, but still great. A Austin Dillon #3 Bass Pro Shops/Tracker Off Road Patriotic Chevy Camaro-Slightly worse than the 2023 scheme. A- Josh Berry #4 Overstock.com Patriotic Ford Mustang-Not a bad look at all. A Kyle Larson #5 HendrickCars.com H1100 Chevy Camaro-Not bad, but a downgrade…

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[strawbuddy-luv]

I see way to much "Kon is a perfect boyfriend who's only purpose is to help Tim's mental health" fics, despite this being Tim "I can fix him" Drake-Wayne.

You're telling me he wouldn't take one look at Kon and his uhaul sized load of trauma and not immediately decide that it's now his job to help? You're wrong if you think otherwise.

[ionomycin]

My favorite pieces this year

[slfcare]

Let your bad thoughts be bad thoughts and your bad feelings be bad feelings. Let "I feel so worthless right now" turn into "I want to do something that'll make me feel better" instead of "the fact that I feel worthless must mean that I am". There is so much power in actively refusing to tie negativity to the way you see yourself, without ignoring it altogether.

[deoidesign]

"I'm the dog they put with cheetahs to keep them from going crazy in captivity" x "I'm the cheetah that is threatening to go crazy" 4 ever

(I make a webcomic about them)

[iirulancorrino]

The Green brothers are doing effective altruism better than maybe 95% of people who identify online as effective altruists.

[bloomzone]

GLOW UP DIARY #4 : THE IMPORTANCE OF BOUNDARIES

"when u laugh,u think more positively"

-Park sunghoon (enhypen)

© bloomzone

#4 BOUNDARIES

💬:Boundaries are limits we set for ourselves. Everyone's boundaries are different, and they are based on what is personally important to us. They can be set in several aspects of life, such as work, relationships, family, and in conflict it can be physical or emotional limits and help to determine a person's comfort level, needs, and preferences. Essentially, boundaries dictate how we want/ allow ourselves to be treated, and how we treat others. Healthy boundaries allow for accountability, respect, and open communication.

Drawing the Line: Understanding and Setting Healthy Boundaries

﹙ 💌 ﹚ If you grew up in a home where no boundaries were set or where people violated your boundaries, setting and maintaining boundaries may be difficult. It is okay if it is hard. Setting clear boundaries is not selfish, it sets the tone for healthy relationships and is an important part of one's own well being. If you ever notice you feel resentful or drained by a person/place/situation, it may be time to look at the boundaries. Remember, boundaries are not threats or ultimatums. Sometimes it is hard for other's to respect our boundaries, but this is not a reflection of you.

Healthy boundaries look like...

• valuing your own opinion

• respecting limits set by you/ others

• not compromising own values for someone else

• sharing information appropriately

• effectively communicating needs/wants

• accepting "no" from others

• being able to say "no"

• being able to identify when a boundary has been broken

TYPE OF BOUNDARIES

Physical Boundaries: These relate to personal space, physical touch, and privacy. Examples include not wanting to be hugged or feeling uncomfortable being touched without permission. "I need personal space and don't appreciate being touched without consent."

Emotional Boundaries: These separate your emotions and responsibilities from others. Examples include not allowing yourself to be blamed for someone else's issues or not taking on other people's problems. "I'm not comfortable discussing my personal feelings right now."

Mental Boundaries: These protect your beliefs, opinions, and identity from being violated. Examples include not arguing about your values or not allowing others to belittle your thoughts and ideas. "I respect your opinion, but I disagree and prefer not to discuss this further."

(there is a lot of types but I focused on these 3)

How to set boundaries

Setting boundaries may take time and practice. Don't get down on yourself if it feels hard.

1. Identify what behaviors from others is acceptable for you, and what might cause discomfort

2. Clearly communicate your boundaries with others. Learn to say no and be assertive.

3. Decide what to do if someone breaks your boundaries. This may mean a tough discussion, taking time away, or ending a relationship.

4. Get clear on your values, needs, and limits. Reflect on what's most important to you and where you need to draw lines.

5. Start small if it's hard at first. Practice with something minor before bigger issues.

6. Use "I" statements to explain your boundary without blaming, like "I'm not comfortable with..."

7. Be direct, firm, and respectful when stating your boundary. Don't over-explain or get defensive.

8. You can't control others' reactions, but you can control how you respond. Calmly reinforce the boundary if needed.

9. Be consistent in upholding your boundaries. If you allow them to be crossed, they won't be taken seriously.

ıllı ⠀ : ⠀ Remember setting and maintaining boundaries is not about controlling others but about creating a space where respectful and healthy interactions can thrive. ❛ ⠀ ♡ ⠀ !!

© bloomzone

[neuroticboyfriend]

the stigma and ableism towards mental health struggles like self harm, eating/feeding, substance use, and body-focused repetitive behavior disorders is incredibly frustrating and cruel. people aren't immoral for having behavior based health problems. it's not their fault they're struggling, and even if they're doing bad things, they still need help and support.

[zaacoy]

Also!! I think I just? Forgot?? To post these here?? So here's two old sketch pages from like 2 months ago that I gave to twt but never here- was messing around with drawing big pigsy!! Very floofy heeheehoo

[dgf2099]

The Driver Suit Blog-Paint Scheme Grades-May 18, 2024

By David G. Firestone Ross Chastain #1 Busch Light Throwback Chevy Camaro-Not a bad look, but the use of a more modern logo as opposed to the vintage Busch logo is a downgrade. C Austin Dillon #3 Bass Pro Shops/Tracker Off Road Throwback Chevy Camaro-YES! YES! YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES! I love a good Dale Sr throwback, and this is a great Dale SR Throwback. A Josh Berry #4 Harrison’s Throwback…

[celestecreation]

I'm feeling green today

[whump-or-whatever]

Non-verbal Anxiety/Stress Indicators

For all those whumpees who try to hide how they're feeling from others or might not even realize themselves what they're feeling.

Wringing hands

Tapping/shaking foot or leg

Rubbing hand along leg or arm

Fidgeting with sleeve/zipper/loose string/etc.

Body-focused repetitive behaviours (twirling hair, biting nails, picking at skin, etc.)

Pacing/rocking/inability to sit still

Tapping fingers

Touching/rubbing face

Holding on to a comforting item

Darting eyes

Positioning oneself with back to wall/facing door

Looking around for potential exists/sources of danger

Staring unseeingly into the distance

Trying to make oneself seem smaller (slouching, crossed arms, curling up, leaning on something, etc.)

Angling body away from others

Avoiding eye contact

Tense facial features (clenched jaw, furrowed brow, pursed lips etc.)

Stiff body and posture

Cold hands/chills

Clammy hands/sweating

Numbness in extremities/chest pain

Being unresponsive/unable to speak

Quick shallow breathing/difficulty getting a full breath

Paler than usual complexion

Feel free to add any others y'all can think of!

[resiliencewithin]

We deserve rest.

That’s it.

That’s all.

That’s the post.

[solargeist]

I think its really silly how I can clock your style really quickly!!! Its so pretty and I really admire it and I love just scrolling through your page, staring at your art and just grinning. Its so cool!!! Like, your art as a certain feeling to it that makes me want to jump up and down and giggle or just shake my hands to let out energy. Its so so so yummy and I really adore your style and your interpretations of characters and coloring style and line work so if you ever feel doubtful about your art or your abilities, just know that at least one person will always look forward to seeing it :))

WAH anon I’m gonna cwy I was Literally jus sat here biting my nails thinking every1 is mad at me and hates me forever LOL

[wild-at-mind]

I would honestly call the left's inability to accomodate people with morality-based OCD compulsions an accessibility issue at this point.