#Fun and efficient farm animals

[helengie]

Goats: The ultimate multi-taskers 🐐🌿🌾🧀

Looking for a sustainable way to mow your lawn, fertilize your garden, and produce delicious, healthy cheese? Look no further than goats! 🐏 These furry creatures are the perfect multitaskers. They'll happily graze your lawn, leaving it looking neat and tidy. 🏡 They'll also add valuable nutrients to your soil, helping your plants grow strong and healthy. 🌱 And of course, they'll provide you with fresh milk, which you can use to make your own homemade cheese. 🥛 So if you're looking for a fun and efficient way to take care of your property, goats are the way to go! 👐 The T-shirt and other merchandise with this motif are available in the HelenGie store on TeePublic 👕👚:

https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/56376134-goats-the-ultimate-multi-taskers-mowing-the-grass-

[spiritinspace]

the batfamily has a minecraft world. it goes about as well as you’d expect.

Dick has basically a mansion, completely decorated from head to toe. He also has like fifteen wolves (rivaled only by Damian) and has named every single one of them. He’s the one who made the world, and suffers through every single update. He likes to help Steph and Cass decorate in his free time.

Jason lives in a shack. It has only the essentials and he spends most of his time fighting mobs and going to woodland mansions. He’s the one who goes to the End City and gets elytras whenever someone new joins, and usually helps them start out. People have offered to help him build his house, but he’s refused. He likes what he has perfectly fine thank you.

Tim’s house is nice but smaller than Dicks, and has a lot of momentos to his in-game achievements. He spends a lot of time in the mines gathering materials (and desperately trying not to die). Sometimes people will log on to chests randomly being placed inside their house with an insane amount of blocks and items they offhandedly mentioned they needed. Most of the time he is usually online at like 3am improving the efficiency of their farms, much to Damian’s dismay. Tim was also devastated by the loss of the Moobloom mob vote loss!! He has a strong hatred for the glowsquid.

Damian has an insane amount of animals. Like, so many it lags you out so much whenever you go towards his area. He is of course building a mega build, which is yet to be finished, but in his spare time he works on his animal farm. It’s not as, as he put it, ‘inhumane’ as Minecraft farms usually are, but it’s still impressive nonetheless!!

Steph & Cass are online a bunch, always starting new projects together. They’ll spend a lot of time gathering materials, and then they’ll make something fun to expand the world. They’ve built a lot of villages and cities around, just making everything generally nicer. They’re also the ones who found the nether fortress and made it not so dangerous (Tim was very thankful)

Bruce has technically played on the world before and has his own account, but he’s not that great at it. For all his genius, he CANNOT figure out how to not die every five minutes. There’s a ledge? He’s walking off it. There’s a creeper? He’s backing up at the speed of a snail. Who knows if he’s even looking forwards at this point.

It’s been something they can all collaborate on for years, and they cherish it very deeply <33

[odusseus-xvi]

I've gone around and gathered what minecraft talents and what the french guest ccs have and do. So there it is.

Kenny (KennyStream) : So he is one of Etoiles' Best friends and one of the main reasons Etoiles ended up deciding to go back to Purgatory. He's a tryhard (mostly in Pvp), like Etoiles and actually has won a really hard competition (with multiple games, minecraft included) with Etoiles and another streamer as a team a while back.

Mynthos (Mynth0s) : He is also a good friend of Etoiles, but is also part of the Team du Lundi (along with Etoiles, Antoine and Baghera), he is known as a tryhard as well but on his part less so of Pvp and more farming. He can spend hours farming for ressources efficiently and particularly enjoys making animal farms. (LES POUUULES) (his current skin is this cursed one but he is looking for another one potentially. So maybe no cursed Ricardo Milos Head for Purgatory 2... I don't know if it's a thing to rejoice to or cry.)

Guill (TheGuill84) : He's an extreme tryhard and a REALLY good minecraft player. A lot of QSMP watchers that are also his watchers told me he could and probably would win in a pvp fight against Etoiles. He almost exclusively plays minecraft and often competitively. (Hey look at that Gas Mask, already fit for Purgatory)

JimmyBoyyy : He's an old friend of Aypierre and Guill and has played countless minecraft competitions and tournaments with these two. Like the rest, he's considered an extreme tryhard when it comes to minecraft.

Fun fact, yesterday Etoiles tweeted when he saw the French ccs that were announced for Purgatory 2 yesterday, and said something along the lines of "Oh Holy shit that fuckin team of sweats, Mynthos, Kenny, Guill and Jimmy !!?? Oh you do not want the french as your enemies in Purgatory." So yeah. That'll be fun.

[farming-for-affection]

Summer Sleepover at the Farm!

Sam

Sam nearly sleeps through morning chores, but jolts awake when you shut the door, and is soon running after you to your fields.

He doesn't know much about caring for plants, but it's not that much different than moping floors, according to him. And, despite your doubts, he does help you get everything watered and weeded in record time.

He has the most fun with the animals, even if he is a little rough with them.

He tries to see if your cows hate the color red, and sacrifices his shirt for the cause. But your cows, you explain, are all female, and are unlikely to charge at anyone. Disappointed, Sam puts his shirt back on.

During the hottest part of the day, you stay inside. You make a quick lunch while Sam sets up one of his video game systems. You play and talk and share a case of Joja cola.

When it comes time to put your animals away, Sam follows you. Hyped up on caffeine, he's not much calmer, but he is efficient.

Now that the day is cooler, he doesn't want to go back inside just yet. You walk the farm and show him the things you missed during the day. 

He is particularly interested in the small cave, and sings a few lines from his latest song. The acoustics reverberate in the cave and the sound is almost magical.

It's your growling stomachs that eventually get you both back inside. There's no time to make anything nice, so you just have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner.

Video games round two begins and you play long into the night, until neither of you can keep your eyes open, falling asleep right on the couch.

[sad-emo-dip-dye]

This is my hc on whether the ada would like stardew valley cause I’m excited for the new update and have been playing recently

Kenji: yes! he would find it very fun and would ramble off animal facts and how they used to farm in his hometown, I think it would make him miss home a little bit tho

Kunikida: yes, absolutely yes. He would have the most efficient and streamlined farm imaginable. I think he would even start writing tips in his notebook from wiki when he needed them. He would have to create a designated stardew playtime into his schedule so he doesn’t get too carried away

Dazai: I feel like he would like it but it would be something he plays late at night when he can’t sleep. And he terrorizes the villagers. And he also somehow has insane production rates that piss kuni off but won’t say how he does it and kuni doesn’t want to give in and ask

Atsushi and Kyouka would have a co-op farm and have a whole coop full of rabbits and I feel like they would spend most of their time decorating

Ranpo: he’d think there’s no real challenge and it’s ‘too much work’ though I do feel like kenji would get him invested in the villager tea

Yosano: idk I think it’s 50/50 for her, either she’s persuaded by the others for its cutesy little charm or she wished there were more blood and guts involved

Naomi and Junichiro also have a co-op that sometimes they invite atsushi to but I feel like it’s something they play after school/work to de-stress and chill out

As soon as you tell fukuzawa there’s a cat option and a tea room I feel like hed be invested. He won’t tell anyone tho

[overwhelmed-overweight]

Plant-Based Benefits and Tips!

A couple of lovely people asked for some elaboration on plant-based eating! I studied nutrition & dietetics in college before I dropped out so I'm not a professional in nutrition but I do have a broad understanding of the biochemistry behind what we eat.

This is kind of a long post, so continue under the cut!

Starting with the basics!

I aim for a more whole foods plant-based diet, which is essentially a low-fat diet that focuses on removing all animal products, limiting processed food, and minimizing oils.

Looking at micronutrients, both protein and carbs have about 4 calories per gram, but oil has 9 calories per gram. Low-fat diets are often easier to manage calories on, as you can fill up on a higher volume of protein and carbs (specifically fiber) to reach satiety, whereas processed/high-fat foods are higher in calories per serving, meaning you get less volume.

You DO need fat in your diet, but it's preferable to reach for nuts, seeds, avocados, etc. instead of oil, which is comparatively nutritionally void.

FIBER IS YOUR BESTIE. Fruits, vegetables, and whole grains are low in calories meaning you can eat more of them, reaching satiety faster than you would with something processed. Fiber makes your digestive system happy. Be sure to incorporate more plants into your diet gradually so your digestive system can adjust.

Let's talk about animal products...

They are inflammatory by nature. If it comes from an animal, particularly red meat and ESPECIALLY processed meat, it will cause stomach issues in most people.

Fun fact, we are biologically closer to herbivores than carnivores. Our digestive tracts are much longer and our stomachs are less acidic than a carnivore's, meaning we are designed to most efficiently digest plant matter. Carnivores, on the other hand, have short digestive tracts and significantly more acidic stomachs for breaking down flesh and bone. This is why many people experience gastrointestinal discomfort when consuming meat. This leads to bloating, gas, and constipation. We are omnivores because we CAN consume animal products for survival, but it is nowhere near optimal.

Dairy is highly inflammatory and is directly linked to hormonal cancers (breast, prostate, etc.) It is also high in saturated fat, which is inflammatory. When we are born, we have the "gene" necessary to process breastmilk, but for many people, as we age, this "gene" gets switched off. Past infancy, we don't need milk (or other dairy products) because we can get our nutrients from other food sources. Black and Asian individuals have the highest rates of lactose intolerance. Not to mention, dairy is full of foreign bacteria, especially from factory farms, which causes an immune response in the body, leading to further inflammation.

Eggs are saturated fat and cholesterol bombs. They're high in protein, sure, but you can get protein and a wide variety of other nutrients from things like tofu.

To summarize, animal products are high in fat, high in cholesterol, high in calories, and cause inflammation, bloating, gas, and of course, constipation. Eating whole foods like vegetables, fruits, whole grains, beans/legumes, tofu, nuts, and seeds will boost your fiber intake, fill you with antioxidants, foster healthy gut bacteria, and reduce gastrointestinal issues.

Make sure you add more plants to your diet GRADUALLY. If you immediately go full force into eating plant-based, your stomach will experience distress due to the sudden increase in fiber, creating gas and bloating. But this will subside, and you'll feel better overall!

I highly recommend listening to seminars on YouTube by Dr. Neal Barnard, Dr. Michael Greger, Dr. Will Bulsiewicz, and Linda Davis RD to learn more in depth about what I've talked about.

Extra tips:

An air fryer is going to change your life when it comes to cooking without oil and making stuff taste good and have a better texture! I use mine multiple times a day.

TOFU!!! I'm a soy addicts, and tofu is my favorite source of protein. There's so many ways to prepare it, too!

Berries are so nutrient dense and delicious-- nature's candy!

There's honestly nothing wrong with protein powder even though it's processed. Just be sure to opt for vegan protein powder so you aren't loading your body with whey.

Stevia is a godlike sweetener, imo.

Eat a wide variety of different plants to diversify your gut microbiome and to get a variety of vitamins and minerals!

Take care of yourselves :') 💚🌿 I may add to this post as more things pop in my head!

When I tell you it's so goddamn easy to do dishes when you don't cook with oil 😭

Don't drink alcohol... this is the most hypocritical thing I can say lmao but it will wreak havoc on your gut microbiome

[roguemonsterfucker]

More TheHunter adventures!

Despite being EXTREMELY sick with allergies today, I made major progress in my game. I took the time to look at all the weapons so I could figure out how to be more efficient with my shots and also get higher scoring trophies. I doubt I'll ever get super high scores and that's fine, but it's kinda fun to have something to aim for (pun not intended).

Not sure why I didn't get any pictures of them but I farmed saltwater crocs a lot today and was able to get a Gold quality one. No special colors yet, but I have high hopes for my crocs.

I spent some time deciding where to set up my lion hunting camp and just as I was going to place a tent there... uh. Something special appeared.

Albino wildebeest!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH! Right where I was setting up my lion hunting camp.

This is my second rare color. Here's my two rare finds next to each other.

I also was finally able to hunt a raccoon dog! AND I got a Gold quality one!

I have high hopes for getting special colors of these guys eventually.

So pretty fun day, despite being unable to breathe because of allergies rofl.

Once again, y'all if you wanna play this game, it's SUPER on sale right now. Only $3 for the main game, but I do highly suggest the Master Hunter Bundle, which is about $14 and comes with some really good DLC. The best duck/goose hunting map is included in that bundle, as well as a few other good locations. Most of the DLC is at least 50% off, with many of them being 75% off. The only ones not on sale are the newest ones.

I think it's a super fun game, but I'm a weirdo who has liked hunting games since I was a kid despite loving animals. 😂 I just like exploration + seeing cool animals! And this game provides!

Also, if the game seems too hard... Just uh. Hit me up about mods/cheats. 😅 Personally I'm not "cheating." Just fixing a few accessibility issues. I still want hunting to be challenging. Defeats the point if I just spawn rare colors in rofl. But I have no judgement for anyone who wants to play whatever way and I'm happy to help folks make the game fun.

So yeah. Check it out if it appeals to you! It's got beautiful maps and beautiful animals. And it's multiplayer so you can join up with friends! I could take some folks hunting/sight seeing if they wanted so let me know if you get the game!

And you don't need all the map DLC to visit them! As long as the host owns a map, anyone they invite can come too. 🥰

[moonpile]

This is why I won't buy Zhan Khaj Crest:

Video: The waterfall looks janky AF. The textures or animation are glitching somehow. Jitterjitterjitter. (If you can even see it with Tumblr's size/compression.)

A shame, I do like this place! (a few screenshots below)

"U serious?" you might think, "THAT bothers you?"

Deadass 😂

Well, I'm someone who spends too many slots for landscaping to look natural because I dislike seeing blocky 3D seams. 😕

I know they won't fix it.

Technically it's outside the house, in an old zone. Normally nobody was in this area long enough to notice.

Sure it's kind of a weird hill to die on. But this is a huge focal point and the exterior views are the main draw, for me. (Idc about the actual house.) Can build in some other part and ignore it, yeah...

But this house costs ~$120.

That's the price of ~2-3 whole chapter expansions. This is very silly. It's almost an entire year of Plus sub crowns. Even gold-to-crowns, that much takes a long time to farm. Just on principle, I don't like that something this expensive has a busted view.

Anyway. Some screenshots:

This is still in the house. Pretty cool that you can build so far out! And high up, too.

This would've been the perfect entrance for dragon hunters – like Lucky Cat is SO useful! But the actual entrance they gave it is way less efficient than the wayshrine.

Unfortunately the last few events + updates ruined the market for dragon materials anyway, so this is moot 😞

Love this view, just sad about those rubbish falls.

Really cool views. Fun that you can see what seems to be the Lion's Cradle part of Hall of the Lunar Champion from here!

(That's another house that bugs me, hate load screens. Could be OK it if it had 700 slots per wing, but nope. 700 isn't even enough for one of those huge areas. At least that one's free...)

I like the pool!

Also annoying that these ugly gates have to be here. I wish it was just an invisible wall so you could actually see the view. 😕

It is very pretty. I LOVE those gold filigree details on the roof.

Not a huge fan of all the sand either... if only we had some enormous mossy boulders, it'd be less of a slot-sink to re-green this place.

[cosmic-crybaby]

Blue Skies - Tommy Shelby

Chapter 8: ‘Cherry Wine’

Warnings in this chapter: More fluff ig. 

Authors Note: I will attempt to upload another chapter this week since this one is a bit short, and more of a filler chapter but still important to the plot nonetheless. 

Masterlist

---

You set the last of the plates on the table. 

“Sorry it took some time, but it’s finally done,” You stated as you wipe your brow. Considering it was a last minute decision to impress, and for the fact you were running low on funds for the week, you settled for a simple but efficient dinner. You passed the plates around, and before you sat down you served your children a healthy portion of food. 

“Thanks, it looks great mum,” Elizabeth smiled up at you. 

“Thank you,” Henry said, grabbing his fork and stabbing it into the meat.

“Careful not to choke, darling,” You told him quietly as you pet his hair with your hand before sitting down next to Thomas. You glanced at him, looking a little less uncomfortable as he picked at his food, taking small bites here and there but mostly paying attention to the glass of wine you served him, nearly drinking it all in one go. You noticed that his plate was still nearly full of the food you had cooked, but you held your tongue. Knowing that he never ate much anyways but you were still thankful that he still agreed to join you. Thomas grabbed the bottle of wine to pour himself another glass, then reading the table before he set it down. 

“Cerise Pinot Noir,” He spoke as he read the label. “French?” He asked. You weren’t sure just how much the bottle had cost, but you had it stored away for a couple of years. Your extended family from France had gifted it to you as a belated birthday gift. 

“Can you speak French, Mr. Shelby?” Henry had asked after swallowing his food. Elizabeth kept her eyes averted low on her plate unless she was glancing at you or to grimace at her brother for eating too loudly.

“A bit yeah, I do,” Thomas nodded, clearing his throat. “Spent a bit of time in France during the war,” He added.

“Woah, you were in the war?” Henry asked in amazement. You shot him a small look and cleared your throat and when Henry looked at you, you slightly shook your head. ’Don’t push’ 

“I was…I could show you my metals one day if you’d like?” This caused Henry to nod ecstatically, and you to look at Thomas with slightly widened eyes, his response catching you off-guard. Most of the men tried to avoid talking about the war. 

“We’ve been to France once, our cousins live there,” He said.

“You were too little to even remember,” Elizabeth commented in a snobby tone.

“So? It was still fun,” Henry shrugged sheepishly.

“I didn’t know you had family in France?” Thomas turned to you, asking you quietly as your children bickered back and forth.

“My cousin was in the war too, after the war was over he stayed in France because he got married…I rarely speak to them though,” You shook your head with a shrug.

“Can we go visit them again soon, mum? I want to see the farm again,” Henry asked, interrupting your conversation with Thomas. You turned to him and nodded.

“ I’ll give them a call soon, love,” You smiled, knowing that you definitely won’t be calling them any time soon. They were your distant cousins for a reason, and they didn’t taking kindly to your ex-husbands bold and unfiltered nature. 

“I actually have a couple of animals at me home, Henry…I could show you those too next time your mum brings you over,” Thomas said, officially and permanently setting his fork down.

“Really? What kind of animals?” Your son inquired, shoving some more food in his mouth.

“Duck, geese, chickens…they run all over the yard,”

Henry giggled and nodded with glee.

“What about you, Elizabeth? Would you want to see them too?” You asked, noticing how quiet she had gotten. She looked at you then looked at Thomas, and with a quirk of her brow, she said, “No thanks. I don’t like farm animals,” Then proceeded to eat her dinner. You heavily sighed, about to apologize for her attitude, but Thomas spoke up first.

“Oh then you probably won’t like horses either, eh?” He asked. This caused Henry’s eyes to light up and practically pop out of his head. Elizabeth on the other had tried to hide her intrigued look.

“Hm…” She set her utensils down. “I’ll think about it,” She says. You hid your smile behind your napkin, knowing she had a weakness for horses. She rode one once when she was younger, with the assistance of your family in France, and she got to see them all over Birmingham so it was easy for her to get distracted when admiring them from afar.

“If you both want I can teach you how to ride a horse, one day when my schedule is free you can come to the stables and pick out the best ones,” Thomas smiled slightly. “If your mother allows it,” He added, his hand slipping under the table to interlock with yours.

“I think that would make for an interesting evening,”

Another month went by.

One day you had gotten a call from Esme, baring great news that she had gotten married. You were happy for her of course, but still overall shocked. Your reaction didn’t stem from the fact she got married, no definitely not. It was only when she told you she married a man she had never met before, but all she knew was that she was absolutely in love with him. You were even more surprised when you found out exactly who she married. 

John Shelby. 

A week after they had gotten married, they decided to celebrate. The four of you sat in the private room of The Garrison. Dressed as nicely as you could on such short notice, a loose fitting dress to hide the bump that started to grow with each passing week. 

It was your first time meeting John, you knew he was a great match for Esme. Evidently enough, she was arranged to marry him in hopes to tame her wild behavior, but even you knew that he was just as rebellious as she was. After all of the stories Thomas had told you about him, you knew he was trouble. Even after a couple of drinks, John began to ask very pressing and personal questions.  

“So, (y/n) when are you gonna marry my brother?” He asked with a devious smirk and mischief leaking from his words. You chuckled to hide your disbelief and take a much needed drink of water.

“Um…” You started, then glanced at Thomas beside you as he kept his cold eyes on his younger brother. Clearing his throat as he blew the smoke out of his mouth, making sure to blow it in the opposite direction of where you sat beside him.

“When the time is right, John,” He addressed in a scolding tone.

“Right…It’s beautiful, isn’t it Esme?” He asked his new wife with a drunken laugh as she nodded along.

“’opefully she won’t end up like the last one, eh Tommy?,” John shot his older brother a cold stare. The uncomfortable silence was you bit your lip and looked down.

“Did he tell you, (Y/n)?” He asked you. “Tommy got his last wife pregnant after barely knowin’ her and right after they got married she fucked off to America with his kid,” He spoke, eyeing you. You shift uncomfortably and Thomas glances at you as you swallow thickly and look up at John again, taking a deep breath to ease the nausea. Was this a test? To see if you were going to stick through it with him after his last wife? Or was it a way to see if you could handle the pressure? You had no idea, but you were glad Esme was there to break the silence. 

“John,” Esme warned him quietly as she rubbed his arm. “That’s enough,” She soothed him. 

“I mean, we all thought it was going to be a disaster from the start, but they held on for a lot longer than we thought,” His drunken smile couldn’t help but make you chuckle under your breath as the tension from Thomas’ corner grew thicker with each passing second.

“I mean, you two can fall in love with each other and the baby at the same time…it’ll be beautiful,” Esme said to ease the tension. She reached across the table to hold your hands as you nod in agreement.

“Of course...I wouldn’t imagine it any other way,”

You knew how it was going to go. You didn’t want to make it sound so technical but you found yourself becoming head over heels for Thomas Shelby every passing day. You had no way in telling of he began to feel the same way towards you. Yeah, the kind gestures could be a clear indication, but you knew how closed off Thomas was. And how slick men could be with their words. One day they would say they loved you and you were the light of their lives, but the next they hurt you in every possible way. So, in that case, neither of you had said it yet. And you were going to keep it that way until you knew for sure. 

Was it love? You had no idea yet.

You reached your hand under the table and placed your hand on his, sensing his tense manor relax for a moment. You glanced at him and flashed him a small smile.

After meeting John, Esme had told you about the rest of the Shelby family. The ones you had dreaded to meet. Arthur, Ada, and Polly. They were as cut-throat as they could get. 

You tried to hold off that day for as long as you could.  

---

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[lazywriter-artist]

Ocs playing minecraft dynamic go

Oo good one-

🦅 Galileo - really just spends his whole time building a little house with a beautiful flower garden and what not, does his best to help anyone out and even has a little set of chests where others can pick things out and stuff. Really just number one Minecraft dad

🦅 Storvis - entire time grinding (even if he’s meh at it since he’s too hardheaded to listen to tips or anything) and getting the best gear he can, will grief anyone who gets in his way. Do NOT ask his ass for help, he will bully you and then exterminatus your base. Often steals all the stuff out of Galileo’s chests and makes fun of his flower garden- doesn’t dare touch it tho, made the mistake of blowing it up once and was nearly obliterated in game and then in real life—

⚙️ Kallisch (mantis Magos) and L-319 (Crab Logis) - they don’t play too much but when they do they kind of just follow one another around on mining trips and put their beds together all the time. Sometimes you’ll find these huge mega structures they built solely out of like copper blocks of the cog mechanicum or something nerdy ass shit like that

⚙️ ‘Delta’ (Beetle Explorator) - sole purpose is to travel as far as they can manage, huge nether railways all neatly labeled with names they made up and shit. Probably has some underground bunker they made just filled with a “living Pokédex” of every mob in the game and such ( something like this )

⚙️ Thanatos (Dominus centipede) - K I L L . not as much of an asshole as Storvis is but much more calculated. Has his weapons and armor min maxed with their enchantments and has done so many raids he has just a fucking sea of totems of undying, had killed the ender dragon single handedly several times and in so many different ways with such horrific efficiency it would make any sort of Minecraft YouTuber cry at the title possibilities. Has this mega base that’s armed to the teeth with booby traps, just loaded with beacons too bc he’s probably got a Wither farm or some shit. I pray for the soul who wants to PvP him, not even Storvis dares

⚙️ Rure (Silverfish Logis) - doesn’t really understand how the game works, mostly just hides out by Galileo, he thinks the flowers are pretty though and the bees are neat! Has little collection of wolves Galileo helped him tame and builds them dog houses (Galileo showed them). Figured out you can name animals and fish up name tags so they spend a lot of time doing that. Living their best life really

[desceros]

i'm SO bad at making money in stardew valley but i'm SO tempted to get two purple turtles and name them donatello and viola-chan [cries]

i did name mine donatello, and i can confirm that it's SO satisfying. so you have two choices.

one is to take your time, the money will come eventually, etc etc, honk shoo honk shoo

two is to abandon all morals, embrace T H E M A C H I N E, and get your fuckin turtles. i'll give you a few tips based on which skills you like the best so you can gear towards those! i'll rank them in order of most to least efficient in terms of gameplay hours, in my experience. under a cut because i have almost 2k hours in this game And i read the wiki for fun. of course you can do, like, the non coconuts version of these suggestions if you're looking for something more low-key hahaha

farming: this is the biggest money maker hands down. if you have the island unlocked, fill that thing with as much starfruit as you can afford. go to the desert and plant a bunch of oak trees, then tap them so you can get a bunch of oak resin. in the beginning, you can sell as many starfruits as you need (unprocessed) in order to buy up more seeds; otherwise, keep them for processing into wine. start filling up your island farm that isn't farmland with the kegs. fill them up as you make them. sell the wine. you can make hundreds of thousands in a week doing this once you start scaling up and fill the entire farm. you can also do pineapples or ancient seeds which over time will be more profitable since you don't have to buy the seeds, but i find these take a lot longer to get started, so i personally prefer the starfruit. you can also just sell the unprocessed starfruit as it is, and it'll make you coconuts amounts of cash, but it's less efficient than turning it into wine. also, dont worry about aging it. that takes way too long for it to be your sole money maker.

sleeping: on the left side of your island farm, plant a fairy rose. then surround it as much as you can with bee hives. if you do this a couple times, you can get some serious cash by doing literally nothing but passing time.

mining: skull caverns runs where you farm iridium are pretty bog standard in speed runs. first thing to know is that the desert trader will swap jade for staircases on sunday. you'll get a crystalarium out of the community center bundle for the vault; put a jade in it as soon as you can. scale this up as quickly as you can, then get as many staircases as you can. next, you'll want to block pam's door with a chair so she gets to the bus a little more quickly. then have some coffee (or triple shot espresso if you can) on hand, and some luck food (think spicy eel, that sort of thing.) get as many bombs as you can make (or explosive ammo if you can afford it). staircase down as far as you can, then start blowing shit up. don't worry about the enemies. you're here for M O N E Y not glory. salads or gold-star cheese are good foods to keep on hand to keep your health up. magnetism is very important here, so you'll want to have either a magnet ring, a glowstone ring, or an iridium band equipped. come back, smelt all your iridium up, and sell it. you can also do this with radioactive ore when you get there, but it's a lot less reliable than this method. plus you'll get a bunch of other stuff in skull cavern to sell, too.

animals: pigs are the most efficient, though also the most labor-intensive animal. they'll find truffles, and with the farming boost of 40% to artisan goods, it's always profitable to turn them into oil. especially with the new blue grass, it's easy to get to where each pig is finding you several truffles a day. you can also do goats for their cheese and age it in the basement, which is a pretty decent money-maker. ostriches are quite good as well, once you unlock them. i usually have one barn filled with ostriches, and another filled with all the other animals. coop is pretty lackluster in my opinion, best filled with rabbits so you can get lots of feet for gifts.

fishing: so this can actually be a pretty good moneymaker now that 1.6 has buffed it quite a bit. the best way in my opinion is to make some lava eel bait, go to the top of the volcano, fish up lava eels all day, and smoke them. you can make a good chunk of cash this way. also crabpots are very underrated, especially if you have either an ocean of bait makers and the perk to get rid of trash (not my preferred method since i use the trash to get refined quartz), or the perk that makes it so they don't require bait and thus you just collect that good shit every morning. (sidebar, this is a really good way of getting fish for deluxe fertilizer if you're a crafting-type person.) fishponds are.... not great? tbh? so unless you're looking for something very specific (like caviar, the spicy eel drop from lava eels) i don't really bother with them much anymore.

combat: find the new parrot trinket. try to get at least level three if you can, though obvs. the higher the better. pop on some monster musk, go in the mines (best is the dangerous skull cavern mines since that has a 2x monster spawn rate, but if you aren't there yet, i recommend levels 55-70 of the regular mines since those have sprites which are Hella easy to kill, drop coal, and there are a metric shit ton of them), and farm away. this is easier if you use the hammer style (acrobat+artful+3x ruby enchants), as you can abuse the special attack and get massive aoe damage. with the parrot, he picks up a bit of money from time to time, more as his level goes up. you can make some Serious cash doing this. plus selling the drops, things you mine up, etc.

foraging: i..... tried for a long time to think of a good way to make money with foraging. i suppose technically the tree saps would be foraging? and they're.... okay? you could sell wood and hardwood but it's such a waste considering they're so important in crafting. if you're the kind of player who likes to spend all day wandering around the valley looking for forageables, more power to you, but pick one of the passive ways to make money and then have fun doing this. if you want two purple turtles, it's going to take you Years to do it through foraging.

[pizzacrustdisposal]

I’m being really stupid about vampires again. Started fun and innocent, but turned depressingly real. Tread with caution👇

Thinking abt if they just lived alongside humans.

Vampire food banks that get confused for blood banks so they either lean into the scam or have to use huge disclaimers and get fewer donations.

Elongated canines being more “desirable” and “attractive” than traditional vampire bat fangs, even though the normal ones are more efficient if you hunt for yourself.

People having to “prove” their vampirism in order to get special support (ie. the food banks), even if some are “closeted” or don’t want to be open about it.

Advocating against deforestation so there’s more shade to hide in, against UV lights because they burn like hell but public places are awful about people covering up completely.

Humans romanticising or sexualising vampirism when it’s practically a disability. “Oh but blood and biting—” Rebecca I can’t leave my house.

“Vampgender” being deemed a bad-faith identity, while simultaneously being reclaimed by some vampires. Infighting in forums.

The demonisation even though most of them rely on food banks or supplements or owning farm animals to survive because assault and murder are illegal and their asses wouldn’t survive in human prisons. Sanguiphobes (blood-averse) and vegans being invalidated and disowned.

Vampirism in the modern world being an allegory for discrimination. Is anyone there

[garfield-mug]

Adventures with Jake and June: Alpaca Edition

A/N: my second entry for Liz's (@sailor-aviator) Christmas Challenge. Another headcanon for you guys. It's kinda gross, but this is what it's like to work with alpacas! fun fact: during our alpaca lab i was the only student to make it out of the barn without being spit on.

i do use the word prompt, i promise.

And yes, alpaca (and llama) "spit" isn't just saliva. it's stomach contents. :) and it has a very... interesting smell.

Pairing: Jake Seresin x June Jackson (vet tech OC)

Word: Reindeer

Warnings: alpacas? animal handling? stomach contents/vomit

jake really didn't know what he was expecting when june offered to take him to a friend's alpaca farm. some cute photo ops, fluffy animals, maybe helping with some farm chores, sure. jake wasn't unfamiliar with farm chores, but they weren't his favorite thing to do. nevertheless, he'd offer to help out, even if no one asked.

june had promised it wouldn't be anything too crazy. she was meeting up with her friend and one of the doctors she knew to help get the animals in order for the new year. that mainly consisted of vaccines and hoof trimming.

the group was efficient, jake had observed. each would alternate between catching up an alpaca and doing the procedures. it was jake's job to the walk the alpacas a few feet into a different section of the barn where they had access to the pasture.

things were going smoothly up until the last alpaca. named snickers, she was anything but sweet.

getting close enough to catch her up was only half the battle, a feat in and of itself. they managed through all her kicking, biting, and spitting, eventually getting a decent hold thanks to one of the barn walls. it took the three of them to hold her for her hoof trim, june at the front, her friend at the back, and doc working the trimmers. june was holding snickers's head to her chest, but that didn't stop the animal from trying to spit in june's face.

by the end of it, everyone was panting and huffing, including snickers. she was passed off to jake, whose job was almost done, before she whipped her head around, releasing the last of her stomach contents and saliva right into jake's face, effectively splattering across his nose, cheeks, and lips. he froze, trying to process what just happened.

everyone gasped, eyes wide. june immediately rushed to jake's side, wiping at his face with the sleeve of her coveralls. her friend and doc also whipped into action, doc leading snickers out of the barn and june's friend leading the both of them to the house where jake could wash his face.

"baby, i am so sorry," june pleads as jake is holding his face under the faucet, enjoying the stream of clean warm water. she's getting a towel ready for when he's done, folding and unfolding the fabric in her hands.

jake turns off the faucet, leaning over the sink for a moment, before silently asking for the towel. he brings the plush fabric to his face, drying his skin.

he looks to his girlfriend, coveralls tied around her waist, face fraught with worry and guilt.

"stop apologizing."

"jake—"

"junebug, it's okay. i'm okay."

"you're not mad at me?"

jake brings his hands to june's shoulders.

"baby, i grew up on a ranch. i know how animals can be, especially when we're doing things to them that they don't like."

"i know, it's just—"

"it's just nothing. don't fret about it, please."

june pulls jake in for a hug. he kisses the top of her head.

he smiles after a few beats.

"if anything, it'll make for a funny story this christmas."

"like that time i got my ass kicked by a reindeer?" june's voice is small, but jake can tell she's smiling.

he chuckles, "yeah, like that time you got your ass kicked by a reindeer."

jake gives june's ass a playful smack for good measure. she yelps in surprise, pulling her head away from his chest to look at him incredulously.

"you are absolutely awful, jake seresin."

"but you loooooove me." he bumps his nose with hers, thankful it doesn't smell like alpaca spit anymore.

"i do."

[forgottenkale]

╳   FLAWS

absent-minded | abusive | addictive | aggressive | aimless | alcoholic | anxious | argumentative | arrogant | audacious | bad liar| bigmouth | bigot | bitter | blindly obedient | blunt | callous | childish | chronic heroism | clingy | clumsy | cocky | competitive | controlling | corrupt | cowardly | cruel | cunning| cynical | dangerous | delinquent | delusional | dependent | depressed | deranged | disloyal| ditzy | egotistical | envious | erratic | fickle | finicky | flaky | frail | fraudulent| gloomy | gluttonous | gossiper| greedy | gruff | guilt complex | gullible | hedonistic| high-strung | hostile | humorless | hypochondriac | hypocritical | idiotic | ignorant | immature | impatient | impulsive | incompetent | indecisive | insecure| insensitive | insubordinate | judgmental | lazy | lewd | loud | lustful| lying| manipulative| masochistic | meddlesome | melancholy | melodramatic | messy | moody | naive | nervous | nosy | ornery |  overprotective | oversensitive | paranoid | passive-aggressive | perfectionistic | pessimistic| petty | possessive | power-hungry | proud | prudish | pushover | rebellious | reckless| reclusive | remorseless | ridiculous | rigorous| sadistic | sanctimonious | sarcastic | selfish| self-conscious | self-martyr | shallow | short-tempered | shy | skeptical | sociopathic | sore loser | spineless | spiteful | spoiled| stingy | stubborn | tactless | temperamental | tight-lipped | timid | tone-deaf | traitorous | ungracious | unsophisticated | untrustworthy | unstable | vain | vainglorious | withdrawn | whiny | wild | workaholic

♔   STRENGTHS

active| adaptable| adventurous| affectionate | alert | ambitious| analytical| appreciative | approachable | artistic| athletic | articulate| assertive | autonomous | bold | brave | caring | calm | cautious | centered | charismatic| charming| cheerful| clear-headed | clever | compassionate | confident | considerate | cooperative | courteous | creative| curious | daring | decisive| dependable | determined | diligent | diplomatic | disciplined | discreet | easy-going | effective | efficient | empathetic | energetic| entertaining | enthusiastic | even-tempered | extroverted| fair | fashionable| focused | forgiving | forthright | friendly | fun-loving | funny | generous | gentle | good sportsmanship | gracious| happy | hard-working | heroic | honest | honorable | hopeful | humble | idealistic | industrious | innocent | imaginative| incorruptible | integrity | intelligent| intuitive | inventive | mature | mellow | jocular| jovial | just | leader | lively| loving | loyal | merciful | mischievous| musical| neat | objective | observant | open | open-minded | optimistic | organized | outgoing| outspoken | passionate | patient| perceptive | persuasive | philosophical | playful | polite | popular| practical | protective | punctual | quiet | quirky | relaxed | reliable | resilient | resourceful | responsible | righteous | self-assured | self-possessed | selfless | sensible | sentimental | silly | sincere | sophisticated | spiritual | strong | studious | supportive | talkative | thoughtful | tolerant | tough | trusting | trustworthy | uninhibited | versatile | warm-hearted | well-intentioned | introverted | wholesome | wise | witty

∂ SKILLS & HOBBIES

acrobatics | acting | adventuring | alchemy| animals | archery | archiving | astrology| astronomy | badminton | baking| beach combing | bead working | bee keeping | bird watching| blacksmithing | boating | boat making | botany| bowls | building | calligraphy| camping | carpentry | cartography| carving | cave diving | chandlery | chess| collecting dragon eggs | composing | cooking | crochet | dancing| daydreaming | diplomacy | divining | dragonlore | drawing| drinking| embroidery| engineering| engraving | epicureanism | exercise | exploration | falconry | fashion| farming | fishing | flower arranging | flower pressing | foraging | gambling | gaming | gardening | ghost hunting | gossiping| guiding | hatchet throwing | hawking | healing | heraldry| herbalism | history| horseriding | hospitality | hunting | ice skating | illuminating manuscripts | inventing| jousting | juggling | knife throwing | knitting | leather-working | linguistics| lockpicking | looting | martial arts | mazes| meditation | metallurgy | mountaineering | music | needlework| oration | orienteering | origami | pageantry | palm-reading | painting |people watching | philosophy | picnicking| poetry | pottery | praying | puppetry | puzzles| pyrotechnics | quilting | racing | reading | researching | riddles| rock climbing | running | sand building | scheming| scholasticism| sculpting | sewing| singing| socializing| sports | shamanism | shopping| sleight of hand | slingshot | sorcery | stealing | storm chasing | storytelling | swimming | swordplay | tarot | tennis | traveling | walking | war games | weaving | whittling | wrestling | writing | writing letters | usurpation

[rabbitcruiser]

National Llama Day

Smart and highly sociable animals, these animals that are closely related to camels (but without the hump) are unique and interesting creatures. With their big eyes and long eyelashes, llamas are rather adorable – and also a bit feisty!

So get ready to enjoy and celebrate these lively animals on their special day: National Llama Day.

History of National Llama Day

Though they were likely originally dwellers of both North and South America, llamas are believed to have gone extinct in North America during the last ice age, leaving them only in South America.

A cousin to alpacas, llamas were domesticated by humans around 4,000 or even 5,000 years ago, starting in Peru and the Andes mountains. Able to navigate tricky trails, llamas were often used as pack animals in these mountainous areas to carry loads of goods, while their fur was used to make textiles and fabrics.

In modern times, llamas are also often kept domestically on farms, sometimes as guard animals for other flocks such as sheep or even alpacas. Since they can live to be an average of 20 years, or even up to 30 years, owning a llama is a long-term commitment. And they love to live in herds, so it’s best to never have only one llama but at least two, or even several.

How to Celebrate National Llama Day

Implement these and other fun ideas for a no-drama-llama time on National Llama Day:

Visit a Llama Farm

Celebrate National Llama Day in the presence of the guest of honor by visiting a local llama farm, or perhaps see some llamas at a local zoo or petting zoo. Llamas that are accustomed to humans are typically friendly and like to be petted on the front of the neck or top of the head. But be careful not to walk behind them as they have a tendency to kick!

Learn Fun Facts About Llamas

One interesting way to celebrate and raise awareness for National Llama Day might be to learn and then share some fun bits of trivia surrounding this delightful animal. Get started with some of these impressive facts:

Though typically ranging from 5 feet 6 inches to 5 feet 9 inches tall, some llamas can get up to 6 feet tall and weigh up to 450 pounds.

Llamas can carry approximately thirty percent of their body weight. This means that a 400 pound male llama could carry around 100-120 pounds of weight on their backs for a 10 mile trek without any problems. And if too much weight is put on them? They’ll just refuse to move or will simply lie down!

Llamas are fairly friendly but when they feel angry or unsafe, they will spit at each other (or at humans). Also, they will kick or even neck wrestle with one another if they are irritated.

Eating a vegetarian diet, llamas have an efficient digestive system that contains three stomachs – and their poop has almost no odor so it makes great fertilizer!

Source

[mygamereviews]

Slime Rancher

Slime rancher is a cute exploration and farming simulator, with the gimmick of having slimes instead of typical animals. It has beautiful environments and cute visuals that make the game a joy to play, as well as appropriate music for each of the areas which create an ambiance like no other. While there is a story in slime rancher, you can fully ignore it if you want. It is told through emails sent by your ex-girlfriend and research notes scattered across the island. I love it when stories are told like this, because it makes it feel like a puzzle I’m slowly fitting together. I won’t go into much detail, but the main theme of the game is to try your best to be happy. It’s a simple message with fairly simple execution but it gets the point across. My favorite part of the game, however, is the slimes!!! I loved setting up my ranch and seeing the cute little guys bounce all over the place. Late into the game there are tons of chances to automate and create the most efficient farm possible, which I had tons of fun with. I loved testing new ideas with auto, harvesters and the placement of farms to slowly improve efficiency. This game is a farming sim, so it can get repetitive, and some of the mechanics aren’t as explained as well as they should be.  “Slime Science” in particular is given to the player with little to no explanation, but it holds some of the most interesting mechanics! If you enjoy cute farming simulators and want to enjoy a fun journey, this is the game for you!! 9/10