#I don’t know what’s wrong with me I used to be able to self motivate

[miserablecreachur]

Sorry I’m stuck on mobile currently because my computer died and I don’t think I can make a read more on here.

[prozach27]

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[honeytonedhottie]

cultivating creativity and a deeper understanding of self⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍰

PROMPTED JOURNALING ; 

shadow work and prompted journaling is a rly helpful way to get to know urself better. it cultivates not only creativity and a sense of identity, but also healing.

journal therapy is literally everything and i cannot recommend it enough. some shadow work prompts that you can use to start off are listed below.  

what part of myself do i feel disconnected to and why 

how do i let others invade my boundaries 

what beliefs and behaviors did u adopt from ur family that you now question 

what easily triggers sadness or anger from you. and what might be the deeper reason for this sensitivity

are there desires and ambitions that you feel embarrassed or scared to admit? and why?

journaling mainly involves self expression without fear of judgement. it’s like expressing urself without feeling ashamed so i highly recommend it for anyone who feels like they struggle with self expression. 

SELF EXPRESSION ; 

working on ur self expression also helps to kind of cultivate a sense of identity and knowledge of who you are and what u value. like i mentioned earlier you can express yourself in so many different ways. i’ll get deeper into the self expression aspect in the post. 

PASSION ; 

what are you passionate about? what drives u everyday? is it money? academic validation or academic research? maybe it’s romance or a strong desire for something. 

it’s okay. everyone’s answer might be different but there’s no wrong answer. identify what motivates you and what ur working towards. 

BEING BORED ; 

give yourself the privilege to do nothing. give yourself the luxury of being bored. when ur not doing anything, this frees up ur mind to think and cultivate ideas and concepts, most of the epiphanies that i have are a result of my alone time. 

when there’s nothing to do, you’re forced to think. and most ppl look for distractions and excuses to not spend time by themselves bcuz they don’t wanna spend time in their thoughts. they don’t wanna just be in their mind and i understand cuz at one point i was also in that position. 

to break this habit and be comfortable in ur own mind you must first be uncomfortable. start small, dedicate a small amount time to just lay and think, let ur mind wander as far as you want. and the next day let ur mind wander for a longer amount of time and so on until you can do this comfortably. 

CREATIVE OUTLETS ; 

something that i’ve learned on my journey is that having a creative outlet was rly important for me to be able to cultivate who i wanted to be and to be authentic and original. 

a creative outlet is a way that u can express yourself and your ideas some examples of a creative outlet could be 

pinterest accounts - i have so many pinterest accounts and on those accounts i turn my boards to art. lately i’ve been interested in photography and photos in general so this was rly good for me. 

a blog - starting ur own blog about something that ur passionate about/know a lot about or something that ur learning about is a great way to track progress and document ur journey

a journal - like i’ve mentioned earlier on in the post a journal is the simplest one to do in my opinion and i love it so so much

creating art - whether it’s pinterest boards, paintings, sketches, music, poetry, stories WHATEVER YOU WANT. 

DEEPER UNDERSTANDING ; 

process ur emotions in a thoughtful and efficient way and try looking deeper into ur behavioral patterns and habits. why are you the way you are? 

what are you passionate about? etc etc. cultivate a relationship with yourself through self care and healing work. remember that healing isn’t a linear process and in no case will it be, but i think that u owe it to yourself to know and cultivate urself. 

[yakultstan]

What advice would you give someone who is writing poetry

Hey! I definitely have a lot to still learn myself as I'm quite new to my attempt at poetry (so I’d love to hear everyone else’s opinion/writing process in the comments) but since you're asking here's my take (sorry in advance if you just wanted a one-line answer..I’m not so good with that)..

In my opinion, poetry is all about provoking emotion..making you feel something..therefore “good” poetry is subjective due to the way individuals experience life and emotions differently.. In most cases (especially writing for fun/self-expression), it’s not something that needs to be technically correct (imo) like an academic essay, rather it just needs to make you feel something, so here are my tips/step-by-step process at this current time

Write for yourself AKA make sure that you like(love even) what you have written.. don’t write with other people’s interpretation/perception in mind (as “good” is subjective and you’ll never be able to settle on anything). You’ll feel much more motivated to write if you are encapsulating your own experience as accurately as you can (it feels productive to turn your pain into something more tangible).. Write the thing that you wish someone else had written that makes you think “damn.. that is so me” if you’re able to do that I’d call it a success. (My fav pieces still make me feel something each time I read them and make me feel glad I wrote them, as noone else had). I say this because we are all human at the end of the day if you’re feeling it, there’s likely going to be another human out there who is grateful that you have so accurately been able to translate a generally indescribable feeling into words.  

To be able to do the above (make yourself & others “feel”) I’d start by reaching as far down into your emotions as possible.. Everyone knows about surface-level happiness, sadness etc. but what is it more specifically that you are thinking and feeling.. or what is something that you think you might feel or do if you were to become totally unhinged.. Imo poetry isn't the place to downplay your emotions or soften your language - say the things noone wants to say, the things that are “wrong” to say, don’t hold back, allow yourself to be violent, angry, sad, toxic, or pessimistic in your writing, even if you’re an optimistic/cheerful/kindhearted person irl (people are often SHOOK regarding the strikingly different persona I portray in real life vs my writing..we are all multifaceted creatures at the end of the day).

Now you might be wondering how to put the above into actual poetry..a lot of people will just “find the words” because they are talented like that, but for the rest of us.. Controversial (whilst beneficial)I don’t think an advanced vocabulary is necessary to write impactful poetry (my vocab is shit & has barely developed since I was 10 years old cause I stupidly stopped reading books until only a couple years ago).. So instead what I personally do is I write out in as much detail but in simple language, how I am feeling/what I want to portray..like you’re trying to express something in your diary or a text message you’ll never send…  At first, this is going to look like a 10yro has written it and that’s so fine because you want a clear understanding of what you’re trying to portray in your piece.. now all your related thoughts are out, attempt to rewrite it in a way that is slightly more comprehensible (usually I’ll write it in notes app so I can still have the original versions to refer back to to make sure I am encapsulating what I originally wanted) and basically rewrite a couple times until it appears more refined

Then, your original wording might be perfect as is (I would say always go with your gut feeling) but the thesaurus and dictionary are your best friend!(bless google) If a certain word kind of “ruins the vibe” of the piece and it no longer feels “poetic” just google synonyms for that word, you can even search “synonym poetic” for further options. Don’t just use any synonym though.. If you’re undecided between a couple words I would highly recommend googling the specific definition of each word and compare, because usually definitions will have a very nuanced difference and that nuance can make all the difference in being able to accurately portray your point. 

Have fun with the spacing, the lines the layout, the use of grammar (idk the terminology).. utilise these things to transform everyday sentences into an art form! Don’t get caught up in the right or wrong!

 Now reread, you want that poetic rhythm of some kind, a state of flow.. Read in your head, then read out loud then read with your own experience in mind, then detach your mind from your own experience and read from an external point of view if you wish! Reading out loud will help you see if it’s readable (duh) and the wording problems, whether that be needing to change word or remove a word or add a word will likely fix themselves! I personally would focus more on emotional impact than aesthetic but ideally a bit of both is great!

This seems like an in-depth process but all this usually occurs within about 5-10 minutes per poem cause I don’t have the attention span to spend any longer on it (maybe oneday I’ll actually refine my work properly lol but for now it’s just my form of therapy). You’ve got this! <3

Other random things I’ve learned

-Keep a log of specific words, phrases, sentences, ideas etc. even if not at all refined in your notes app on phone as you randomly think of them so you can potentially come back to it later! (If you don’t you’ll likely forget and never think of it again lol)

-Sometimes the most simple thought/concept to us (based on the fact it has circled in our brains for a lifetime so we are bored of it) can be super impactful & significant to others, so just write it anyway

-Go with your gut feeling if you’re tossing up any of your ideas, words, expressions

-Remember that quote “art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable ” - you’re never doing toooo much

-personally ive had to drop the academic ego and learn to be more than okay with being shit..you’ve gotta just do it and accept most the things you’ll write could be shit but it’ll mean there is opportunity that you write something decent amongst it all.

-DO NOT compare yourself to other people writing poetry cause it can be so disheartening!!!! we are our own worst critics.. just remember we are uniquely ourselves, no one else can write the way we write.

-PRACTICE!!!! But basically just do that by writing as much as you can. I know it’s always said but seriously I started writing daily 4 months ago and whilst I wasn’t actively trying to improve there is a massive difference noticed by myself and others between the quality of what I wrote 4 months ago and now.. It’ll just start to click! I write every day but some days I don’t have it in me to write a poem so I’ll just write a thought or feeling or diary entry for that day to keep the routine plus you can possibly come back to it for poetry inspo. 

-fake it til you make it !!!! poetry is expression !!! anything can be poetry if you want it to be :)

-I also read not long ago that writing isn’t something where you peak in your twenties (thank god for me) but rather a lot of writers become successful a lot later in life! So this gives me a lot of hope that things can only improve! Considering I was able to improve in 4 months, imagine 4 years or even 1!!(exciting! I hope I get much better!)

-If you want to know how to be more creative, more metaphorical or a lot more visual with your poetry.. Don’t ask me.. In fact I need tips myself!! I’m going to guess it has something to do with my shitty vocabulary.. I hope that I can challenge myself to improve with this overtime as well, but for now I find it cathartic to just work with my literal thoughts and emotions. Similarly, if you want to know how write about uniquely positive experiences hmu in the future when I’m more healed but maybe not yet lol.

CONGRATS if anyone actually read through all this… you deserve an award! (let me know if anyone actually did and if it was at all helpful) I hope you can find even just a component of this somewhat helpful??!! maybe it was all obvious who knows haha but also please remember I’m not very experienced in writing poetry myself, this is just my attempt at keeping myself sane :) All my love x 

Edit: as someone else mentioned.. another great tip is to READ lots of poetry written by others, this will help immensely :)

[luveline]

I'm sorry to send you such a loaded question, but as a young adult, how do you stay motivated and... I don't know, do the things you have to do? Ever since I left high school, I've felt that it's hard to commit to anything, especially the things I have to commit to in order to have a future, because everything seems so monotonous and uninteresting and stressful to me; because I feel like I'm not capable of doing anything, of being competent.

Anyways, I love your blog. Your writings are one of the few things that make me happy on the worst days xx

that’s okay! I’m gonna try and answer you clearly !! cw for suicide mention

So first I want to say that I’m really sorry you feel this way! It’s quite a heart ache to feel uninspired or uninterested, or worse to feel like you’re not capable of doing things everyone else is doing. You deserve to wake up and feel happy and confident in yourself and your abilities! And I want to say I’m sorry in advance if this is not quite the answer you’re asking me for!

so, when I was around 18/19 (and well beyond those years, but this was when I was very done and defeated and, you know, crying myself sick every night if I wasn’t just laying in bed) I was in university, but I didn’t finish the year at campus, and I had to go home. I’m not sure if this is something I should be saying because it’s so personal but I just want to sort of be honest with you cos I don’t want you to think you’re alone in that feeling. But anyways I had to go home, I was really lonely and I just felt like I couldn’t do what everyone else was doing, like there was something wrong with me. I couldn’t cope with the kitchen, I couldn’t use the bathroom there, I didn’t know how to turn the heating on, couldn’t talk to people, couldn’t navigate the bus by myself, and I felt so pathetically stupid, I had such low self esteem for myself that I felt like I should kill myself just because I was so useless —I didn’t WANT to understand these things. I just didn’t want to do anything. And the reason I’m mentioning it is because while I don’t think it’s okay to assume these things of you, I want to emphasise that there can be a common link between feeling like you aren’t capable and a mental health issue! Of course, you can feel quite useless without that though, so not telling you that that’s definitely what you have going on but more wanting to say that if you think it might be useful, you can have a look at mental health issues and perhaps see if you’re relating to them. But beyond that, hopefully on the way to answering your question, is how I managed to feel more capable and how I now find motivation to do things I have to do.

I sort of had to do a reset, or a sabbatical! I’ve always been an upset person unfortunately, and I had a long few months where I didn’t do anything at all. I’m really, really fortunate that my mother let me stay at home while this was happening however reluctant she was, I can’t imagine really what I would’ve done or what could’ve happened to me if she didn’t let me stay there. I always thought about how she could’ve just turned me out and she probably wanted to, because for months I stayed in bed. I didn’t talk to anybody, deleted all my social media, and I stewed in how much I hated myself for not being any good at anything. I felt soooo stupid and so alone, and I probably cried myself to sleep every night wondering about my life and if I’d ever have the motivation to go on. There are still times now where I am intensely upset and unsure about things and what I’m capable of, but the difference between then and now, and the reason for my motivation I think, was that I was able to foster a need for something? I’m really so sorry if this sounds like total total nonsense, but I needed something. I wanted so badly for someone to “save me” from my not being able to do things, I spent a lot of time thinking about that. Like, how I could be saved. And then I strung out the middle man without realising I was doing it! It is very hard to go from having no motivation and no sense of self ability to then being confident, but I do think you can do it! I needed someone to get me a job and I ended up doing it myself, I needed someone to be gentle with me when I was sad so I started speaking to myself with a more kind inner voice and seeing myself as someone who didn’t need to be perfect to be good.

There was lots of bits of advice I tried to take on. Not all of it is kind to myself, some of it is though!! Like, for example, there’s a sort of parody of it now that says “I think you’re thinking about yourself too much” but one of the ways I stopped hating myself and instead started to believe I could do things and achieve was by thinking about the level of self obsession I was feeling to constantly think of myself. And I promise I’m not trying to say something hurtful to you, I absolutely don’t believe you’re self obsessed, but you’re also not incapable!! In a slightly more annoying take on your feelings, why can’t you do it if everyone else can? You absolutely can! I personally believe sweetheart that you can do everything I can, but you need more support, or you need to be fostered with some love. You are not incapable, you are not incompetent, you are a smart, kind, and important person. There is nobody else like you on the entire planet and I’m better for it that you’re here.

I apologise profusely if I’m projecting too much on you, I’m not trying to say you must feel exactly as I did years ago, but I think your ask really is important and I really want to give you an answer to your question because I know I felt exactly the same at some point. Working toward a future self I didn’t even like or believe in was boring. Nothing in me wanted to work hard or study or continue because I didn’t look forward to achievement.

sorry this is all so long! Hopefully this last bit is the actual advice you might be able to use. Beyond that wisdom about trying not to dedicate too much time to thinking of myself, there are lots of “rules” I tend to live by, in order to just keep going forward. For starters, you deserve to have fun. You deserve good food, nice clothes (not showy though you deserve those too, but nice sturdy clothing), a warm safe house, and you need to work for it! We defo deserve to work less for things but I keep going and trying to better myself because I know I need to do this in order to be comfortable. This will sound out of left field, because the focus of the book is not strictly motivation, but there’s a graphic novel called my lesbian experience with loneliness by Nagata Kabi that has stuck with me because she has this same sort of view as to feeling like she’s stuck in monotony, and there’s one bit in particular where she talks about doing things for yourself you might not do, I.e making sure you have underwear and socks that are clean and whole. I grew up poor and I’m not super rich now either, but since I read that, one of my priorities is having whole and clean underwear, and that did help me find the motivation to work or to study. We need to function in a way to maintain good standards for ourselves, and even if you have boxes of clean socks, there might be something in your life you can think about working toward! I throw away underwear or any clothes that don’t fit me right, and I don’t feel guilty about it when I would’ve before because I know that feeling well dressed is good for your heart. Does that make sense? To give yourself a good standard of life, you have to keep going. As well as that, another way I stay motivated to go on which I’ve talked about before maybe (not that I expect you to have read this) is my writing. I’m motivated sometimes to do things I have to if only because I need free time to think deeply about the things I want to think about. Also I love writing more than pretty much anything, even if most writers will look at what I’m doing and laugh or wonder why I’d dedicate so much time to some things in particular, because I love it. If I can make sure my rent is paid every month, that’s a promise I have a room to sit in every night where I can write whatever story I want! Another motivation is my ability to give bits of myself? It sounds ridiculous because I don’t genuinely believe I’m giving myself to people but to try and be a positive part of someone life is a good place to start if you feel purposeless. My relationships with my sisters are a tether for me and I’ve tried so hard and so much to make these relationships count, as well as with long distance friends, and recently ish I got back into contact with friends I couldn’t maintain relationships with when I was feeling down, and now my life feels very changed. I don’t live solely for myself, (though it’s okay if you do, because its hard and sometimes a lot of pressure to live for and around others) so that gives my life more purpose, and gives me more reason to do things I have to do. I also desperately enjoy this blog !!

I’m genuinely so sorry if this is all useless. I’ve been typing this answer since like 1:05 and it’s much later now, but it’s because it’s hard to describe to you the things that give motivation, because I know deep down how impossible it feels when you have none. I don’t expect you to read this and think aw jade you’ve solved it I’m fine now actually, I just hope that one thing in here can lend you an idea as to what to do next. If you’re struggling to go on, there are lots of options available to you in the UK such as the SHOUT text line for stress, depression, and eating disorders. They’re free to text and anonymous! I don’t think there’s one answer to giving yourself purpose, it is a very hard life and I don’t blame you for feeling incapable or bored or worried or anything you’re feeling, but I do for sure know you can do this, because I can do it, if that makes sense. Like I bet we’re extremely different people on account of uniqueness but also bet we have so many similarities!! And I certainly don’t mind guessing that you’re a loving, caring, person who deserves to feel more fulfilled. It’s my recommendation that you try to understand why you’re not feeling your best right now, that you talk to someone if you can, that you have some faith in yourself, and that you treat yourself with the same love and patience as you would any other person experiencing burnout! again I’m so so sorry if this is all rubbish. I’m forcing myself to stop now. So sorry if it doesn’t make sense or if half of this is completely unrelated to what you’re asking. I love you and I hope you feel better, genuinely truly ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[littlespoonevan]

something struck me rewatching buck begins that i don’t think i ever really noticed before: when buck tells the team about daniel and the ways he used to put himself in danger to get his parents’ attention eddie’s immediate reaction is, “This explains so much about you.”

and like, he says it in a joking manner and the others definitely echo the sentiment but there’s something about that being eddie’s first reaction and then him specifically being the one to say he understood why buck stayed behind in the factory fire later on in the episode

because the thing is, eddie always knows what buck is thinking. he knew what buck needed in 3x01 to get him out of bed. he knew buck would be spiralling and blaming himself in 3x03 and how to make him stop. he knew why buck was acting the way he was in 3x18 when it came to trying to save sam. he knew in 4x04 why buck was so upset with his parents and what to say to validate his feelings. he’s always known buck, has always been able to guess his motivations and his reactions better than anyone else on the team - it’s why they make such good partners

but it’s not until 4x05 that this further context slots into place and changes things because he’s always known buck but now he understands so painfully clearly just about every single facet of who buck is as a person. and the fact that this carries on throughout the season, the fact that it ends in the will reveal, is so??????? there are so many people in buck’s life who have either unwittingly enabled or misjudged his self destructive tendencies. his parents missed the cry for help over and over again. abby and taylor both unconsciously reinforced the notion that people only care when he’s in danger/sacrificing himself. even the 118 who love and cherish buck so dearly don’t always understand the full extent of why he acts the way he does

but we’re shown over and over again that eddie gets it???????? and listen i’ve said it ten million times but the way s4 contrasts “you think you’re indestructible but you’re not” and “you’re not invincible” with “you act like you’re expendable but you’re wrong” is forever going to make me lose it

three sentences, all basically holding the same sentiment on the surface, but the word choice in all three so clearly demonstrates how the other characters view buck. and the only one that’s right, that gets it, that knows is eddie

i think with everything in s5 i sort of forgot just how much of buck and eddie’s scenes in s4 consist of eddie quietly observing buck. sandwiched between the kind of scenes we got in s3 and s5 it’s certainly a more subtle approach to their dynamic but god, there is something so fucking special about the fact that s4 buddie is just an ode to, “To be seen, to be found, isn’t that what we’re all searching for?”

[benkeibear]

☰ 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

⧫ Character: Mitsuya

⧫ Reader: genderneutral

⧫ WARNINGS: afab!reader, sub!Reader, dom!Reader at D, breeding, praising, mentions of anal (pegging)

⧫ A/n: don’t want to miss a post? Sign up for my Taglist in my Navi! (This is a repost from my old blog)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

ꕤ Mitsuya is a literal angel for aftercare

ꕤ checks up on you, gets you water, snacks, helps you clean up and don't forget lots of soft cuddles

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

ꕤ He likes his thighs? He doesn't even know why. But he adores it when you sit on his lap or grind on him

ꕤ on you He like your lips and how soft they are, loves the way you kiss every centimeter of his skin and the way they wrap so pretty around his cock

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

ꕤ Mitsuya has a slight breeding kink so if you let him, he would love to cum inside of you

ꕤ Also pushes it back in when it starts to leak out, maybe gives you another high with his fingers

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

ꕤ He would love to wear lingerie for you at least once and have you completely wreck him

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

ꕤ He's a bit experienced, mostly from porn

ꕤ He did have his hookups here and there with a model but he's more than eager to learn how to best please you

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

ꕤ Missionary and cowgirl

ꕤ loves to touch you and be able to look at you

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

ꕤ He's pretty serious but doesn’t mind to smile or let out a small laugh if something goes wrong

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

ꕤ He shaves it completely clean, when he's too busy He might leave some stubble because He has no time

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

ꕤ He's so romantic it makes me wanna cry

ꕤ For your first time He laid out rose petals and lit candles

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

ꕤ He does it whenever he’s stressed while designing and doesn't want to bother you

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

ꕤ Big lingerie kink, on you, on him. He just likes how beautiful it looks

ꕤ Breeding and praising kink as well

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

ꕤ everywhere private really

ꕤ Your bedroom is number one but right after is bent over his desk

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

ꕤ Like already mentioned, LINGERIE!

ꕤ Just wear anything He made you really, it gets him hard like nothing else

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

ꕤ He's not really into BDSM or anything too rough

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

ꕤ Giving all the way! He would die a happy man if your thighs smother him to death

ꕤ Would never say no to a blowjob though. So sometimes you sneak on him while He's working and just go at it while hes designing

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

ꕤ He’s mostly slow and sensual

ꕤ When he's stressed however He might lose it and just pounds into you to get off, but always puts your pleasure first

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

ꕤ LOVES THEM! Prefers to have his time but sometimes He just doesn’t have said time

ꕤ Definitely pulls you in a restroom at one of his shows if he's nervous

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

ꕤ He’s not too risky, most He does is in a public restroom when no one can enter

ꕤ Would never do anything where you two get caught

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

ꕤ He can go for 1-2 rounds but needs a bit of time in between

ꕤ perfect opportunity to take a seat on his face ;)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

ꕤ He has a whole collection but was too shy in the beginning

ꕤ Now however… Let's just say He enjoys watching you desperately fuck yourself with a dildo and whine for him

ꕤ Maybe He lets you use it on him as well, is a bit scared of that tbh

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

ꕤ Not that much into teasing, prefers to give you what you want

ꕤ He however likes it when you tease him or even edge him

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

ꕤ Depends on the mood, mostly loud breathing and soft grunting

ꕤ occasionally there’s some high pitched moans slipping out, especially if you tease him

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

ꕤ He makes extra revealing clothes for you and might or might not use pictures of the fittings on you to get off when you're not around

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

ꕤ He's not the biggest, probably a good 5-6 inch with a slight curve to the right

ꕤ but he knows how to use it very well, Has you screaming his name in no time

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

ꕤ It’s not that high but is always ready if you're in the mood

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

ꕤ Not fast at all, takes care of you and pampers you

ꕤ Maybe once you're asleep He closes his eyes as well

[the-desolated-quill]

Let’s talk Doctor Who, shall we?

I absolutely adore Space Babies. I know a lot of people weren’t very keen on this episode and they’re entitled to their opinion, even if it’s objectively wrong. I’m sorry, but I had a lot of fun with this episode. It’s silly, light hearted, optimistic, and a perfect showcase for Ncuti Gatwa and Millie Gibson. I absolutely adore the Doctor and Ruby together and this is the perfect episode for them. They bounce off each other so well and their enthusiasm and excitement is infectious. I did feel the episode was a bit rushed. I feel like this could have benefitted from being 60 minutes just to give it some room to breathe, but overall I really enjoyed Space Babies and I am prepared to die on this hill and defend it. This was a great episode. Come at me bro.

And if you think that’s controversial, get this. The Devil’s Chord? Not a fan. I didn’t hate it. It’s certainly not as bad as I thought it was going to be. I think the marketing and press were very misleading when promoting this episode. I was led to believe this would be a musical episode and it isn’t. Well… it is and it isn’t. The episode is about music and music features heavily in the plot, but they’re not singing and dancing all the way through or anything like that. There are things I like. Ncuti Gatwa and Millie Gibson are still perfect. I LOVE Jinkx Monsoon. I don’t watch Ru Paul’s Drag Race so this was my first exposure to her and she was incredible as the villain Maestro. The way she’s able to go from laugh out loud camp to genuinely menacing in the space of a few seconds is really impressive, and she commands the screen whenever she’s on it. And I did like the concept of Maestro and how they use music and sound as a weapon. I thought it was very inventive and creative. The problem is I don’t fully understand Maestro’s plan, and I think people are so caught up with how good Jinkx Monsoon is that it has distracted them from the fact that the plot has more holes it than a colander. So Maestro feeds on unsung songs, and music is no longer a thing post-1920s thanks to them. Except Abbey Road still exists and the Beatles and Cilla Black are still performing songs. Not very good songs, but still songs. Who’s buying those songs if music is no longer a thing? Why isn’t Maestro interested in those songs? What makes a song worth feasting upon? What is it Maestro is actually eating? Their talent? Their potential? Except that can’t be it because later they’re talking about feasting on “the song of a nuclear winter”. Okay so now I’m really confused. What makes a nuclear winter better for Maestro than a bad song about a dog? Surely music is music regardless of whether it’s good or bad, right? In fact why even bother with music at all if any sounds will do? The whole thing becomes too broad and too abstract, and if the motivations are ill-defined, then the threat becomes ill-defined, and toward the end I honestly didn’t have a clue what was going on or what Maestro’s ultimate goal was. Honestly the whole thing felt a bit pretentious and self absorbed. Call me a cultural philistine, but I’ll take an episode about talking babies and snot monsters over this any day of the week.

[avpdpossum]

“your self-diagnosis will never be as good as a professional diagnosis” yeah, my self-dx isn’t “as good” as a pro-dx would be, it’s better!

most psychs have spent maybe a few days maximum learning about the absolute basics of my diagnoses, while i’ve spent years taking in every bit of information i can find, including lots of information from the same sources they’d be using and more — chances are i know more about my diagnoses than the average psych ever will

psychs who do have more knowledge got that knowledge from deeply stigmatizing sources, and most have never bothered to learn from the people who actually live the experiences they claim to be experts in (ex. “npd experts” who actually just specialize in “evil abuser disease” or people like martin kantor)

a psych will never be able to know what’s going on in my head the way i can because they can’t read my mind, so even if i was able to articulate my internal experiences really well (which i’m not — i’m a semiverbal avoidant with often disorganized thoughts/speech; explaining something like that is hard if not impossible for me), hearing it secondhand can’t compare to the 20 years i’ve spent living it

the vast majority of psychs operate based on sanism and profit motive — they’re more than willing to take obscene amounts of my money, only to deny me a diagnosis based on not meeting some shitty stereotypes or say there’s no point in giving me a diagnosis if i don’t want a cure or give me the diagnosis and then have me put in a psych ward because my diagnoses make me one of those ~scary mentally ill people~ that none of them want to deal with

a misdiagnosis from a psych could potentially lead to me being put through intensive therapies or put on medication for the wrong thing, which can have very bad results, and the label might stay on my medical record even after being proven wrong; if my personal assessment is wrong, nothing happens — no one gets hurt, i just go “oops, nevermind”, keep whatever useful things i learned from it in my “toolbox”, stop using the label itself, and move on with life

coming to my own understanding of how my brain works and using the labels that actually make sense to me means i actually get to have some autonomy for once — i get a community of people who understand my experiences and a better understanding of how to manage my symptoms and accommodate myself, without having to fear things like forced treatment or intensified discrimination

the idea that my neurotype makes me incapable of self-awareness and introspection is ridiculous — some people might feel that way about their own situations and need to rely on outside assessment as a result, but that experience is not universal

my understanding of my own mind is NOT second-rate compared to a psych’s, and i don’t need to put myself at risk just for a stranger to tell me what i already know

[feybeasts]

That reblog about learning how to draw fat characters being able to help out with drawing skinnier characters better inspired me to ask this:

If you don’t mind, do you have any advice on how to get started with that? And are there any useful resources to help out with that as well?

Hwooh, unfortunately, I'm the wrong person to ask for any serious advice, as all I've really got to work off of is lapsed drawing classes a decade ago and then four years of being self-taught, but let me share what I try to keep in mind in general:

The first and biggest piece of advice I have is "reference, reference, reference"- if you wanna learn how to draw something, pay close attention to both how that thing looks in the real world (when it comes to life drawing, there are a lot of books and such that are just chock full of reference poses of people in all sorts shapes and figures, those are great,) and how artists you really like draw those things. Honestly, on advice from @hattiestgal, doing drawovers of scenes from movies, shows, things like that that have inspired you is a good way to build a reference memory of just the act of drawing that way. Obviously don't post drawovers, and only ever use that kinda stuff for private practice, but learning to develop good reference habits is foundational, in my eyes.

My second piece of advice is- learn to accept erasing and building up from a gesture sketch. What I mean by this is, don't just try to draw everything exactly right from the get-go, but instead try to "build" the basic shapes of the object or person in a lighter sketch, then add a little more detail on top, then a little more, almost... chisel the details in, if that makes sense. It can be easy to look at an extremely skilled artist sketch something flawlessly in one go, but the truth is, that takes YEARS of effort!

Thirdly- and this is one you've probably heard a lot, but it's true- draw often. I don't mean like- make whole, finished pieces every time, but consider that every time you sit down and make the effort to doodle, you learn something new, what to do, what not to do (which is often as valuable) and you build up that internal reference library of techniques. You might not feel like it, you'll probably get frustrated, I know I do, but the truth is, even a "bad" sketch is a sketch towards your goal.

Really, that's the only practical advice I've got- I'm not a professional, not even what I'd consider one of the better artists in my very particular niche- but these are the things I keep in mind to keep me focused and motivated- and focus and motivation are bigger boons than anything else, IMO- the rest will follow.

[liminal-lesbian]

Related to my last ask(which i will follow up on) I don’t think its fair to say marcy wasn’t being her true self. While she was hiding her negative feelings, her enthusiasm about being in amphibia was her authentic self.

(Plus, its a little hypocritical that Andrias is praised for following his heart, despite hiding his malevolent intentions)

While I definitely agree her enthusiasm surrounding Amphibia was an expression of her true self I think her interactions with people in Amphibia involved a lot of people pleasing in order to reach a state of feeling secure in her place in Newtopia.

A good example of this is when we see her immediately declare she'll do all she can for Newtopia in thanks for them taking her in. While this does make sense, obviously thanking the people who took you in through acts of service is reasonable, I think much of Marcy's motivation is underlaid with her anxiety surrounding being needed/useful.

For example, New Wartwood is great for showing how Marcy conceives of herself in relation to a new environment. She NEEDS the townsfolk to like her, arguably, if my thesis about her is correct, because that disapproval equates to a threat to her sense of self, as she needs the positive lens of their approval in order to define herself. She goes about it in a way that she absolutely enjoys and IS true to herself, using her special interest in architecture to render a service that will benefit the town, but the important thing to note is she's doing this not for her own enjoyment or interest, but to earn the approval of others.

The same could be said for all her services to Newtopia. I don't doubt for a second that her actions in Newtopia were a fun, gratifying, and engaging experience in which she could exercise her interests that she truly enjoyed. HOWEVER, everything she did was in service of earning approval, raising her standing in order to be liked. After all for Marcy, to be liked, to be needed, is to be. Neutrality, apathy, or, god forbid, dislike, is crisis, because Marcy defines herself in relationships mainly by what she is to them, and if she's not wanted or needed, she doesn't have the solid baseline confidence to be assured of who she is. And that is TERRIFYING.

In a vacuum, yes, Marcy knows what she enjoys, but in terms of interpersonal interaction she doesn't have the sense of self to allow herself to be Marcy for Marcy's sake, always Marcy for another's. That isn't a healthy way to go about relationships, and Marcy learns to take this to heart. She doesn't develop it in Amphibia but in Amphibia is where it begins.

In the timeskip we see the fruits of this growth in her career. It's not a surprise, I think, that Marcy's future is predicted by her principal by what she can do for the world, because up til that point to others Marcy WAS what she could do. Not a person with desires, just the acts of service. By choosing the path that she wanted to take, a career as an independent artist where she's able to express herself artistically, doing what she loves because she HERSELF wants to do it, shows Marcy has attained that secure sense of selfhood, happy to do what she wants without concern about earning others approval. She is Marcy Wu and she's more than what she can give to others.

---

As for Andrias, I'm assuming you mean his change of heart in the finale? (Correct me if I'm wrong).

I wouldn't say Andrias is praised for that per se. He's still, at the end of the day, isolated, exiled, and shown to be atoning for his crimes. Notably he isn't forgiven for anything, especially not by Marcy, as is her right. He hurt her terribly, physically and emotionally, and nothing he can ever do will take that away, and I truly think he'll suffer that weight for the rest of his life.

I think Andrias is meant to show that changing, even if it doesn't outweigh the evil you've done, even if it doesn't heal the people you've hurt, still matters. It's never a wrong choice, no matter how much you've done to hurt people, to choose to do better.

Could Andrias have been written to be a better nuanced villain, of course, but I don't think he's praised for his change of heart. I think he stands as a lesson that, while you can't take away the bad you've done, you can choose to stop adding to it, and maybe even start adding to the good.

[jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue]

Hi, dear Blue, I saw your post and Rushed over! Coincidentally I reread the first three chapters of the CEO series before work today because it is a masterpiece! So I have fresh thoughts on them rn. Hope this helps motivate you even a little🥰💜

Chapter 1: Complaint

Ah the first part of what has become an Absolute Masterpiece!

From the first chapter I was hooked, obsessed, and addicted. This particular part was what really got me excited for the series-

“Did you get hurt, angel?” Jimin says softly. Tears definitely start to well up in your eyes as you look towards him. Taehyung let’s go of your chin to caress your cheek as a tear drops and he wipes it away. Namjoon’s eyes darken, they know for absolute fact you could do no wrong but unless they wanted HR to come visit they needed to resolve this in house. He knew that bitch was lying through her teeth about their favourite girl, but they needed you to tell them what actually happened so they could get rid of her without any mess. “We can’t help you baby girl if you don’t tell us,” he says, hoping it would elicit something out of you.“You guys are the problem,” you say through a sob, and your arms come to cover your face as more tears shed down your face. Their hearts sink at your words, Taehyung frowns at you, his dark eyes disappearing to look at you with sadness.

I've reread this one more times than I care to admit lol including thrice just today. One thing I noticed immediately and really loved was that you were careful to mention everyone, even if they didn't get a ton of dialogue you made sure to mention their thoughts or actions.

Chapter 2: Mediation

Aka Jimin's chapter. You know an author understands how to write Jimin when I can literally hear Filter in my mind while reading his parts. Our Blue is truly amazing🤩💜💜💜

All of the boys feel thoughtfully written as well. Jin who's calm and gentle but we all know he's just as if not more dangerous than the rest, Joon is the epitome of calm before the storm as well as the storm itself, you do NOT want to be on his bad side, Yoongi ever done with everyone's sh*t and probably wants to fire the rest of the building on the daily, except for Y/N of course who brings out his secret not so little soft side and the cutestgummy smile known to man, our Sunshine Hobi whose dark side is just as scary as his bright side is cheerful,,,, mad Hobi is honestly so attractive though,,,, and I love watching the Maknaes be petty towards Suran (or anyone really lol) and protective and clingy with Y/N🥰😂

Chapter 3: Resolution

The Dinner Date! It was such a cute chapter, short and sweet and has me grinning like a schoolgirl with a crush everytime I read it. Once again you go above and beyond making sure all the boys get a fair amount of attention while still making Y/N feel like the main character. I love being able to watch the character grow and really related with the anxious self thought in the first part of the chapter. Oh to have seven boyfriends to boost my self-worth at any time😍 Y/N is definitely living the dream right now.

P.S. Sorry this ended up so long hehe my bad.

💜

Why are you apologising 😭 this was exactly what I needed 💜🥺 I have a really hard time balancing the characters and the storylines but at the heart of all my stories I think the characters are central and I forget that sometimes 🙃 I also always forget about chapter 2 and 3 🤣 and then when I reread to check continuity I’m like … I wrote this? When? 🤦🏽‍♀️

Lovely you are literally such an angel, and I’m keeping you forever; genuinely if you leave me I’ll riot and go on strike 😤 no pressure 😁

I’m so determined to finish the next chapter today, I’ve got one more scene to write and then it needs editing

[9w1ft]

Hi 9. I hope you are well. Your blog has been a balm for my soul in dark times, read your comments full of confidence it's like fresh air.

I would like to ask if recently or in the past, you have received unpleasant comments saying that we are wrong in what we believe in addition to adding insults, etc. How have you learned to deal with it and if at any point have they hurt you emotionally?

aw heyy thanks for saying that!

oh yeah over the years i’ve had my share of flack and insults in my inbox or maybe i’ve had an altercation here or there, and sometimes you can put a bandaid on and go about your day but usually it’s still a cut you can feel. i guess the tl;dr: would be, i think that over the years ive learned to find the right blend of environment and outlook that sets me up to have it hurt less. also i think being able to contextualize hate dismantles its power greatly.

the big thing that youve got to have the ability to laugh at yourself. this is such a wild situation to be in! embrace it. a little self deprecation goes a long way. if you let go of the need to be understood by everyone and you recognize how wild of a situation it is that we are in, and if you can laugh about it, it cures most things imo.

next you have to keep the context of the hate in mind. a lot of things i’ve had said to me just dont hurt because i know the people saying them just don’t understand what they’re talking about 😆 maybe this comes with time.. like maybe if you hang around long enough it will click, but people from different parts of the fandom are speaking from completely different languages of meaning and beliefs and so i’ll see a comment and just be like wow that’s so fascinating how this person got compelled to compose that and say it with their whole chest. couldn’t be me!

another thing is just, it has a lot to do with where we are at and what i believe or what other like minded people do. to us, we have kiiinda already reached a kaylor win condition. i know people would disagree and i get why, but to me, in the grand scheme of things, i don’t feel the need to argue or defend because we’re already there. we’ve already made it! all the rest is a bonus to me. and so what this outlook does is it makes any hate seem really really quaint. like don’t care if rude people don’t understand. why would they deserved to? 😆 they should stay right where they are.

i think hate can hurt more when you at a point where you are less confident of what you think or if you want to listen to everyone and make sense of everyone as a way to uphold ‘fairness’ or a sense of a greater community but, when you are around long enough and get a better sense of each groups’ different motivations, you come to realize that your good intentions to involve and convince everyone is a bit of a fool’s errand because at the tops of each group is a core that will never move from their position. in the end it’s just more about a personal journey, i think. and i think usually you pick a lane or a group and just stick to it and most of the drama feels different because when you stop feeling the need to litigate, hate becomes confrontation for confrontation’s sake, and then the hate stops being about you, and you can see it as a part of a bigger thing.

also one key thing… i think it’s eons easier to avoid everyday conflict on places like tumblr than on twitter. it’s easier to curate what you have on your blog and its not a very public facing platform so things are more quiet and don’t spread to the general public. this filters out a ton. and there’s less eyes on your stuff and like people can screenshot and bitch on their own space but it’s not a quote tweet so you don’t really have this sense if you’re being talked about. you can block and even block individual IP’s, or on the flip side you can monitor activity on statcounter and see patterns of where messages come from and it kind of dismantles the mystique of them. tumblr makes it a lot easier to just do your thing. it’s not always in your face. and i would have a different persona and talk differently if i was on a different platform.

and i think people in general are better at staying in their lane here than on other platforms. over the years we have all sort of found our pockets and in general we stay in them, i think! so the stuff i do get is just always worded and delivered in the same way so i know its from the same people so it’s a little bit like kramer popping in on any given episode of seinfeld. it’s just part of the routine at this point 😆

[errorscriber]

there's been a lot of talks about shidou's safety in regards to amane now that Purge March has dropped, I would like to give some people peace of mind about amane's threat to shidou. there have been lore drops here and there that implies he'll be fine

21/03/22 (Kazui’s First Trial)

Shidou: Mukuhara-san, you’ve not been looking great ever since you came back.

Kazui: Ahh…… yeah, I still haven’t got back to my usual self huh. Y’know, Shidou-kun…… kids can be really brutal huh. I don’t have any of my own so hadn’t realised until now.

Shidou: Haha, so they are. They won’t listen to the excuses adults make to explain themselves. ……though that’s also what makes them cute.

Kazui: Yeah… You’re really mature, Shidou-kun. By comparison, I’m really immature huh. Not growing up in any way other than my age. ……*sigh* Even I’m starting to hate that about myself.

22/06/27 (Amane’s Birthday)

Kazui: What’s up, Shidou-kun? You’re looking pretty down. I guess you must be tired, I’ve been relying on you a lot lately.

Shidou: Yeah, I just remembered…… today is Amane’s birthday. I’m just getting a bit sentimental.

Kazui: Hmm, it’s unfortunate, but at the moment we can’t worry about that. ……you understand, right? There’s something that you need to do right now. And if you tried talking to her your words definitely won’t reach her. Don’t look at me like that. We’ll just wait until the situation changes. Let’s do our best.

Shidou: Yeah. I’ll do what I can. I can’t have a child making a face like that. Even though we’re “murderers”…… we’re also the adults here.

22/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Amane: ……Kirisaki Shidou. How long do you plan on continuing this foolish behaviour?

Shidou: I wonder what you might be referring to there. I’m just doing what I need to do. If anything, I’d be happy if you would lend me a hand.

Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand?

Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way. If it’s a test of endurance you want, I’m happy to oblige, Amane.

i know prison isn't really comparable to a hospital, but shidou is a doctor. he's probably met folks who are averse towards medical treatments. we have to also remember he's canonically a father as well. the patience in this man knows no bounds! shidou is the person who knows best that children can get volatile if they go through their word and actually initiate in their tantrums.

in the second trial we've clearly seen him be more proactive and more motivated to interact and help other people in the prison. to me, these conversations shidou has had implies that he'll find a way or be able to defend himself is amane were to do something to him.

maybe let's say, i am grasping for straws here and maybe shidou is gonna be in ruins but for now i want to have faith in that guy. he's tried to be gentle and passive around amane at first from the very beginning, now he knows that type of approach doesn't work. i surely hope he's prepared and i think from these conversations, shidou himself is trying to prepare for what is about to come.

i do want to take amane seriously and respect her wishes not to downplay her as a child but im not gonna try and give her too much power, i don't think she's a Big and Major Threat we should all worry about. i know there are so many variables we have to consider in the second trial towards what to vote. regardless of what you want to vote her this trial, i think our first trial verdict has already locked her thoughts into place anyway.

22/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday)

Futa: ……! O-oh, it’s just you. It’s nothing. ……but well, on that note. Hey. Don’t you have anything happening too? Since being in here, just suddenly getting anxious. Feeling as though loads of people are all there condemning you, telling you you were wrong.

Amane: ……I’m fine. I don’t know what you’ve done or what it is you’re worried about, but I think if there’s something you believe in, you should stay true to it. It’s not something that should waver just because other people said something. I personally don’t plan on changing my own beliefs even if I’m told I’m wrong either…… ……today is your birthday, correct? I’ll pray for God to keep you under his care.

this is my first time doing a post like this so im sorry if there are any misunderstandings i have regarding these conversations. i do hope that maybe you can find some faith that shidou will turn out fine in some way. he's going to beef with a 12 year old. he should start thinking about what to do.

[coffeeman777]

I’m so afraid I’m not saved. People keep telling me I must be, because an unsaved person wouldn’t care if they were saved or not, but I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about the part of the Bible where it says ‘many will say Lord, Lord’ and God will say ‘I never knew you, depart from Me’ (paraphrased Matthew 7:22-43).

I know only God can save me. I know that everyone who truly calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. I just keep feeling like… what if I haven’t truly called on God? What if I haven’t really repented? What if I’m just deluding myself into thinking I love God and that I’ve really repented. I know I can’t trust myself, so I can’t know if I’ve really honestly in my heart of hearts turned to God, or if it’s all fake. And I know I’ve seen changes in my life, I’ve turned away from sins that used to hold me captive… can unsaved people do that? I know there must be unsaved people who stop doing things they shouldn’t because of their conscience, aren’t there? And I just keep sinning so much, all the time, and I hate it, and I know I can’t be perfect but my brain tells me I have to be perfect or God won’t love me.

I know it’s wrong and sinful but I keep trying to prove that I love God enough for Him to save me, that I’m trying enough and that I genuinely want to be saved and I’m not faking the desire. I know salvation is through grace alone and it’s sinful to pretend otherwise or to try to save yourself, but that’s what I kind of keep trying to do, or at least, trying to prove I’m worthy to be saved when I know I’m not worthy

I just feel like I have to be able to trust that I’m not faking wanting to be saved before I can believe that God has saved me, but I know that’s wrong. I know there’s nothing in me I can trust. I rarely go to church because I’m afraid, isn’t that a sign against salvation?

I just wanna love God and be saved, but I can’t see how that’s possible for me

Heya.

I understand the fear. But you have to surrender the fear and accept instead what the Word of God says.

As you've noted, salvation is by grace through faith and not of works; no works of righteousness can merit salvation. We must depend completely on the finished work of Jesus Christ on the Cross.

Second, although unbelievers can of course modify their behavior to an extent, they can't mimic the total effect of the Holy Spirit in their lives. The Holy Spirit breaks the power of sin over us, empowers us to repent and turn to the Lord with our whole hearts, and motivates us towards personal holiness, not because of a desire to become self-righteous, but out of a deep, sincere love for the Lord. And that love for the Lord will manifest in several ways, not just in a deep desire to obey Him and do good works. Our goals will change to conform with God's will, as will our interests. In the life of a truly born-again person, literally all areas will be affected by the Holy Spirit's presence, causing us to, over time, conform more and more to Christ.

As for sinning, well, even after coming to Christ, we all still contend with the fallen nature. Our new natures in Christ are at war with our old fallen natures, and we aren't always victorious in every skirmish. We sometimes give in to temptation or fall to old habits in the heat of the moment. And God gives us all the grace and mercy in those times. Our goal every day is to honor God and avoid sin, and we apply real grace-enabled effort to that end.

What shouldn't be in the life of a real Christian is deliberate, premeditated, purposeful sin. No Christian should ever plan to sin, or embrace sin as part of their lifestyle. That kind of thing is a big red flag. That proves that we don't love God at all, we don't respect Him, we aren't interested in worshipping Him or doing His will.

So, if the sin you're talking about is the first kind, then don't worry, you're in good company. It's very good that you recognize the sin as a problem and that you hate it. Keep fighting it. Change your daily habits to avoid circumstances where you're tempted to sin. Keep reading the Bible and applying what you learn to your life. Keep seeking the Lord in private prayer and worship. And get your butt back in church, no matter how you feel.

However, if the sin you're talking about is the second kind, you need to repent. Confess it to the Lord, reject it, start fighting against it. Fall down on your face and cry out to God for salvation, and don't stop until you know you're in Christ.

Repentance is a change of mind about sin that leads to a change in behavior. Real repentance causes real change in a person's mind and life. If you're heartbroken over sin, and you really hate it and want to be free of it, and you're taking real grace-enabled steps to avoid it and fight against it, your repentance is genuine. If you simply acknowledge that sin is bad but you don't really feel badly about it, and you want to keep the sinful things from your life before Jesus in your life, you want to keep practicing those things and engaging in those behaviors, and you don't really try to avoid temptation, and you don't resist at all, and especially if you defend the sin and embrace it as part of your lifestyle, your repentance is fake.

I hope this helps. I'll keep you in prayer. Be blessed!

[bohemian-nights]

You want to self-insert to Netty so badly you want to put a brown teen girl to be groomed and be placed in between an ongoing marital dispute. It's disgusting how you talk about her. You want her to "save" some evil man from evil "dumbnyra" liek your misogyny is so transparent. You sound like every delusional 'i can fix him' stan. You hate this character so much you weaponize another woman for it. If you don't see the racial and social undertones in the way daemon grooms her (e.g. teaching her about hygiene and manners) there is something wrong with you for you to want this pairing. Some of us netty enjoyers like her because she's an underdog claiming a wild dragon. We don't want to see her as a prop to some man's "redemption" like you so want here.

One, you won’t even acknowledge that Netty is Black. Why am I going to take your claims of misogyny seriously when you and yours perpetuate Black erasure and misogynoir?

Two, Nettles is an adult by Westeros standards.

Three, I have stated numerous times I don’t believe someone who could tame a wild dragon didn’t know how to bathe herself(and if you believe she could not bathe herself yet she could claim Sheepstealer that’s a reflection on your perception of a character like Netty. You can drop the I’m a fan of Netty act).

Nettles was a homeless young woman. She didn’t have access to bathing facilities, but she definitely knew how soap and water worked 🙃Daemon more than likely taught her etiquette for court life and he gifted her things that she didn’t have because again she was freaking homeless 🤦🏽‍♀️ He did what he did because he loved her and wanted to make sure that she’d be able to navigate in her new life. Not because he was grooming her.

Daemon isn’t a good person. He’s selfish and he commits some of the most heinous acts during the Dance. However, he isn’t a total monster. He has his moments and Netty is one of them.

If he had actually groomed her and didn’t genuinely love her he would've let Rhaenyra’s orders be carried out(or he would’ve gone back “home”) because she had become an inconvenience.

Four, Netty more than likely will be aged up on the show. So since you won’t be able to say but but 17 isn’t legal in our world, you guys will need to come up with a better excuse not to ship Dettles than “OMG you want her to be groomed.”

Five, do I have to quote myself again🙃 You want to talk about racial undertones yet you won’t acknowledge that the one who abused/tried to abuse Nettles was Rhaenyra. She’s the one who tries to commit a racially motivated hate crime after saying her husband can sleep around(see Mysaria whose white in the books), but just not with Black women and he most certainly can’t fall in love with them. I don’t have to make Rhaenyra into a villain. She is one when it comes to Netty 🤷🏽‍♀️

White women can be just as harmful to Black women as men(Rhaenyra shows that). The sisterhood often doesn't extend to us so miss me with the misogyny crap when there is a white woman calling a Black woman a “low creature” and trying to murder a her(when she’s possibly pregnant) in her sleep all over sleeping with her husband who she has an open relationship with.

So let’s not get it twisted, I’m not weaponizing my fave to attack yours. I’m pointing out the wrongdoings of your fave to mine. Wrongdoings which you ignore because pointing out even a fictional white woman’s racism makes you uncomfortable.

Lastly, I care about Nettles as a whole. I’m constantly talking about her, creating gifs and moodboards for her, and speculating on her casting(which is a whole other fiasco), but you people always zero in on me shipping her with her Daemon (which is canon, but you people want to ignore it cause it makes your self-insert look like she’s not the end all be all).

Nettles story is more than just her relationship with Daemon(and I don’t think she “fixes him,” he comes to realize a lot of stuff himself of what is and isn’t important during the Dance), but he’s very much a part of that story, and as I’ve said before, showing Black women in romantic relationships in media is important.

We don’t need any more strong independent Black women who don’t need a man stereotypes perpetuated. So if you want to ignore that to try and make their relationship abusive(when it isn’t), or make her into a sexless Mammy who only lives to serve Rhaenyra because that’s the position you are comfortable with Black women being in, that’s a you and your inherent biases issue.

You guys refuse to acknowledge the importance of her relationship with Daemon because you don’t and never will identify with or self-insert into Black characters. You’re never forced to see Black character's humanity. You just see them as accessories to your actual self-inserts and since Nettles isn’t a stereotype(she’s objectively one of the more interesting characters in the Dance and she's the girl getting rescued) you want to make her into one.

Don’t get mad at me for recognizing and calling out you people on your crap. Do better.