#I feel like it might be controversial???

[thegoldencontracts]

He Is...

Summary: In another universe, your boyfriend is a bit... Odd, to say the least? Why do you stay with him? U-uh, because canon said so (ortho is just platonic ofc)!

Notes: Pure crack based off of popular fanon things that I honestly don't find accurate. No hate, just a bit of joking. Minor spoilers. Also, if you're touchy about popular fanon headcanons you have, you might want to avoid this post. I have no hateful intentions, but I understand it may be take that way. As always, I am open to constructive critiquing and discourse.

Riddle is going to collar you if you so much as breathe wrong. He does absolutely nothing nice for you. But then when you want to leave him, he breaks down crying...? Weird.

Trey is disturbingly obsessed with teeth, but he's completely perfect other than that. Literally perfect. No, really.

Deuce is incredibly dumb and well-intentioned. He's never done anything wrong in his life! Biker gang? What biker gang? You're just hallucinating.

Ace is an absolute asshole. He's never apologized for anything in his life. Just- a complete douche, somehow.

Cater is incapable of speaking on anything other than pure slang. You tell him you're going to break up with him, and he just says "yikes". Who does that?

Leona is literally the worst person you have ever met. Depression? What depression? He's just lazy! But yeah, he's the scum of the Earth. Trust. At least he respects women?

Ruggie is communist. You don't know where it came from, but he is. But he's also a scammer. Yeah, good luck.

Jack is a tsundere... You thought there was something else? No, that's it. He's a tsundere. He's cute, though.

Azul is a little baby boy. He's just that same little octopus he was. Scams, contracts, business? What are you talking about? He's just your little baby boy who'll break down crying if you don't tell him you love him every five seconds!

Floyd is a serial killer. What do you mean he's only seventeen? He's a serial killer! He kills people. That's right, he kills them. He's a merciless, remorseless killer.

Jade is completely sick and twisted. He'd kill you for a single corn chip, and he's never felt any emotion other than schadenfreude in his life. He's not seventeen, he's, uh- he's been lying to you! He's actually a demon who thrives off of souls (and being one hell of a butler).

Kalim is nice. He's also an idiot. That's right, this man has literally never had a critical thought in his life! Can you believe it? He's never had any hardships, either. Poisoning attempts? What poisoning attempts? There's nothing to see here!

Jamil is an asshole. There's no justification for it. His life was so amazing, it's not like he was basically a slave or anything. Why couldn't he just talk to Kalim before going through with his plans? It's literally that easy!

Vil is a mean girl. That's right. He's selfish, manipulative, and lazy! What do you mean 'he wants people to work and be the most beautiful they can be'? He's just a mean girl, guys. Nothing more to it. And I can't believe he ruined Rook! It isn't like Rook chose to move into Pomefiore or anything!

Rook is creepy, and a stalker, and an irredeemable piece of shit. You see, he used to be a shining beacon of perfection in Savannaclaw, but then the EVIL Vil had to RUIN him! The horror! He was so happy there, too! Everyone knows that dull, lifeless eyes are the number-one sign of happiness!

Epel is a perfect, dainty little boy who can do no wrong. He's just- a shining beacon of dainty and perfect ideals. So fragile. So perfect. So helpless. He has absolutely no autonomy. Trust me on that. Just a perfect little angel boy.

Idia is an unhygenic, depressed softie. He's never showered in his life! It's not like STYX had a lot of focus on systematic hygiene that Idia's used to or anything! And he's never looked down on others in his life! You can trust me on that!

Ortho is a kind, soft little robo-boy who can do no wrong. That time he tried to fire a laser beam on the school? Ignore that, he's just a little baby!

Malleus is sooo in love with you. No, he's not acting oddly due to being unused to friendship, he's in love, damnit! He's in love! He's making this an otome!

Lilia is a dad. And he thinks you should get together with Malleus. Really, he's just there to set you up with the dragon man!

Silver is the perfect, most noble and well-liked gentleman. Awkward? Unused to people wanting to hang out with him? Nope, none of that. Just perfection here!

Sebek is the scum of the Earth. Why, you may ask? Simple! He's loud and arrogant. I don't know why he hates humans so much, really, it's not like he's dealing with internalized species-ism or anything...

[readthephible]

phan posting until they hit top 10 ships — 2/?

dan’s old tumblr posts / manchester apartment edition

[bmpmp3]

sorry to be a bit of a hater but i do wish youtubers weren't so scared of making their videos just like, "reviews", whys everything gotta be a "video essay" all the time. every day my recommendations are filled with 40 minute videos titled "_____: An Underrated Masterpiece" where the first like five minutes are reading the wikipedia definition of "masterpiece" in a somber voice with dramatic themed text on screen. please just tell me how good or bad you think something is and use the rest of the runtime to explain why. you dont need to put on all these airs

[mentallyunstablequeen101]

I might be attacked for this but..... I just gotta be honest

i dont like percy or percabeth that much for the following reasons this might be biased because i love solangelo way to much but bear with me

i feel like i care more about other characters and like to see the bigger picture ig

like “ oh but they surrvived tarturuas“ so did nico who went TWICE once ALONE and again with Will. Which is extremely brave too.

Percy was treating nico like shit like half the time. He literally choked nico. The rest of the seven were DEBATING IF THEY SHOULD SAVE HIM FROM A FUCKING JAR like wtf that should answer itself.

I still cant seem to know why percy would be the strongest especially compared to nico like if he could control the poison that would mean nicos power can be somewhat logically extended too.

Percy was a bitch to a lot of other people too like when he pulled will solace to save annabeth i was fuming how can you drag a 13/12 year old child who is looking for his dead brother in the bridge YOU broke down to help your girl friend and not even a THANK YOU at the end is insane to me

Im gonna keep it at that but i could 100% keep going.

[marcobodtlives]

Horse Riding Shenanigans

(Glass Door Shenanigans)

[t0bey]

if i may be bold to say despite 3H being my fav game i do love robins design more than the byleths collectively.......idk its just incredibly refreshing to have both units wear the same exact thing and not have the female unit be sexualized so blatantly compared to the male one lmao

[latinadarkacademiawannabe]

tsh characters as ttpd lyrics

richard papen

does it feel alright to not know me? i´m addicted to the if only

henry winter

the spirit was gone, we would never come to, and i´m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free

camilla macaulay

locked me up in towers, but i´d visit in your dreams, and they tried to warn you about me

charles macaulay

the hurricane with my name when it came i got drunk and i dare it to wash me away. barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine. well, me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time

francis abernathy

cause i knew too much, there was danger in the heat of my touch, he saw forever so he smashed it up

bunny corcoran

so tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is?

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Just want to say: a, I admire very much that you've figured out a healthy way to work on your fics that allows you to have fun with it. And also b, am very excited to hear that you are getting there with pez! It has fully given me brain rot ever since I read it last year, there is just such a lack of content for the highly specific trope of using time travel as a device to explore extremely unhealthy levels of self loathing.

I just adore everything you're doing in it. Neither midoriya is anywhere approaching okay for any portion of the fic and I love rereading and mining into all the subtle characterization pointing to that. It's a bit like nhtycth in that some really goofy funny stuff is often hiding some really fucking worrying things, but the fact that characters DO do that stuff—that todoroki uses his teaspoon's worth of extremely stunted social skills to bludgeon his friend's door open and help him, that a rpf shipping war is an actual source of drama despite how goofy the sentiment seems on the surface, that about half of what jon says is deeply worrying and the other half is extremely funny and there's a lot of overlap between the two—really lifts the tension and brightens the universe. It's sort of similar to what you did with gerry, in that endless misery isn't nearly as painful as the ups and downs of a life that, when you step back and zoom out, has something deeply and horribly wrong with it.

(jon sort of reminds me of spider-man in that he uses human to deal with trauma and stress, except I don't think he at any point realizes how fucking funny he is. He's just there, in a home depot, gnashing his teeth because he's got so many bodies to dispose of and this cashier sure is taking her time.)

I really, really, really have had trouble finding fics that take everything midoriya has dealt with to task. It's a hell of a thing to live 14 years as a disabled minority, have it heavily shape your existence, and then one day you wake up and you realize you're...not that, or at least, nobody will ever acknowledge you as that again. You've lost all claim to it. Those experiences that shaped who you are? Dust in the wind. 14 years of pain and life might as well be buried in the ground for all the good they do you. Nobody's going to cut you any slack or quarter, you've gotta simply work harder, be better. And now when you do that you get the results you wanted, so that's fine, then. That's good. There was something wrong with the you before, and there's something right with the you now, and if the transition is a little rough, well that doesn't matter, you're the same as everyone else now, so it's your own job to fill in whatever gaps you need to.

I really can't get over how mentally fucked it must be for midoriya to run into quirkless people, run across quirkless issues, and be silently caught between, incapable of speaking his mind and too scared to do so anyway around those he can trust.

Also I should mention, I'm just very excited for bakugou to get back from the gym. He's been there like a year I hope he's getting a good workout in.

Me realizing that it’s been a year since pez dispenser debris:

I feel like there’s just this very specific type of grief that Izuku has to grapple with in the span of pez dispenser debris that I’m just obsessed with. He’s sort of silently mourning who he could have been, when 1) he has to present like there’s nothing lost to maintain his secret and 2) the entire world is constantly inundating him with the message that there was nothing lost.

Like. I don’t want to get too deep into it because it risks spoiling things and I do have major plans to continue it (I’ve loved this story for so many years before I ever even hit publish), but the emotion that Izuku’s feeling right now is so much more complex than “I hate who I used to be and want him to stop existing” or “I just want to keep my secrets.” And I think the way he interacts with Mirio is the biggest evidence of that.

Izuku’s placed himself at the very center of the Quirklessness debate with his support of Mirio. He fights for Quirkless heroes, very publicly, to the point where he’s not even graduated yet but considered to be one of the most prominent voices on the matter. If you took a poll of Quirkless people as to which hero would be most supportive of them pursing their own career in heroics, Izuku would be right at the top of the list. When it comes to Quirklessness itself, he’s nothing but supportive.

But he didn’t tell Mirio the truth of his own Quirklessness.

Out of everyone, Mirio’s the one everyone expects to know, despite him being a relatively newer relationship compared to someone like Iida or Uraraka or Todoroki. And I tried to imply that he’s sort of the one who knows the most about Izuku out of everyone save All Might.

Like, we’ll get into how much exactly Mirio knows soon, so I won’t divulge what, if anything, Izuku has told him. But we know that Mirio knows, weirdly enough, that Izuku is deeply fucking haunted. He knows that boy has many violent ghosts in his bones. He finds it hilarious and will tell their realtor about it. Izuku told him about the discontent spirits who died in a violent passion and live on inside of him before he told him about his Quirklessness.

And I just feel like one of those things is a little bit easier to discuss than the other.

Izuku has decided to keep his own Quirklessness quiet in a way that surpasses secrecy about One for All. If it was just about OfA, he could tell people he didn’t get his quirk until the entrance exam, and it wouldn’t even be a lie. He’s purposefully obscuring his own past as Quirkless even as he takes a forefront of the Quirkless hero debate with his open support of Mirio.

And the fact that he’s at the forefront of this debate in and of itself requires a difficult dichotomy. He is the world’s most vocal proponent for the first Quirkless hero. He is a known figure in the Quirkless community now.

He isn’t considered one of them anymore. He’s an outsider coming in.

It must be such a strange, odd sort of grief to come to the people you were home amongst for most of your life and be greeted as a stranger. To return home, and to be welcomed in for the first time, and to not even be able to tell people that you’ve lived here all your life and don’t need a tour.

It’s a sort of death of self, I think. And I think Izuku never expected to have to grapple with his own ghost.

[formulaford2022]

I'm also sick of f1 fans acting like indycar is just a place for rejected f1 drivers, when the rejected f1 drivers aren't even doing super great. (I like all the people I am going to mention, this is not hate). Grosjean most likely would not have even had a seat this season if jhr didn't screw Callum Ilott over on purpose. Marcus Ericsson is by far the worst andretti driver this season (not diminishing his indy500 win, but he hasn't really done anything super notable outside of that.) Alexander Rossi (who I personally feel doesn't count in this category because he was just a reserve driver but whatever) is a great driver, but he hasn't really been in the championship conversation since his middle few years at andretti (I hope he wins every race do not come at me). If you look at the f2 side of things (since Indy seems to have a reputation for taking f2 drivers who couldn't make f1) none of them are really championship contenders either? Like Callum Ilott, Marcus Armstrong, and heck I'm putting Theo Pourchaire on here too are all really good drivers who have a great future ahead of them in indycar, but they most likely would not have won indylights/nxt or anything. Christian Lundgaard is a great driver and should have had a much better f2 career (all the people saying f2 doesn't matter because Ollie Bearman is so low in the standings despite being a great driver should know that f2 sucked for the same reason back in 2021). And also all these drivers made it to f1/f2 which are such high levels of racing. You obviously have to have talent to get there. All of these drivers have so much talent and just because they're doing well in indycar does not mean that the series should be looked down on because it didn't work out for those drivers in f1/f2. (again I like all these drivers so take this with a grain of salt)

[bicheetopuff]

I’m on chapter 11 of From the Sidelines…

[thereadingaddic7]

[god-infected]

Horror Girls & Perfume Associations

Irena Dubrovna (Cat People): "Something warm and living" Ciara by Revlon (neroli, ylang ylang, amber)

Thomasin (The Witch): "When I sleep my spirit slips away from my body and dances naked with The Devil" Spiritueuse Double Vanille by Guerlain (incense, bulgarian rose, vanilla, cedar) layered over Dirt by Demeter Fragrance

Carrie White (Carrie): "They're all gonna laugh at you!" Heaven Sent by Dana (apple blossom, lily of the valley, musk)

Contess Elizabeth Bathory (Daughters of Darkness): "Love is stronger than death... even than life." La Panthere by Cartier (dried fruits, strawberry, rhubarb, rose, oakmoss)

Edith Cushing (Crimson Peak): "Ghosts are real, that much I know. I've seen them all my life..." Rose Of No Man's Land by Byredo (turkish red rose, raspberry bloom, amber, pink pepper)

Lucille Sharpe (Crimson Peak): "The horror was for love" Criminal of Love by By Kilian (saffron, turkish rose, tobacco)

Anna (Possession): "I feel nothing for no-one!" Fidji Eau de Toilette by Guy Laroche (aldehydes, cloves, amber, rose, vetiver)

Rosaleen (The Company of the Wolves): "I'd never let a man strike me" Lolita Lempicka by Lolita Lempicka (vanilla, praline, licorice)

Sandie (Last Night in Soho): "I've been in a prison all my life"Chant d'Arômes Eau de Toilette by Guerlain (honeysuckle, ylang ylang, vanilla)

Helen (Candyman): "Your death will be a tale to frighten children, to make lovers cling closer in their rapture" Shalimar Eau de Parfum by Guerlain (bergamot, iris, vanilla)

[slocumjoe]

companions react to sole crying when they raise their voice at them

The actual, secret prompt here is "which of the companions would not die of shame on the spot"

Cait; Doesnt die, but does achieve a sort of living Purgatory. She's a rough gal. Sole shouldn't be so sensitive. C'mon, grow up! And then she remembers her own life, being screamed at. Astral projects into hell. Will recoil and try to make it better, calm them down. Even says sorry if they look really hurt and it's not just an instinct they have. Slinks around like a kicked puppy after, keeps her distance.

Curie; I really have to question who Curie can upset that much. Can Curie even raise her voice like that, enough to make anyone cry? Curie herself is also bewildered, beneath the immediate regret. Rushes to them spewing apologies, but its short-lived as she’s likely to start crying herself. She's empathetic, she's sensitive, and she feels bad. This is no longer an argument, it is a cry-sesh. Promises to never lose her temper like that again, and keeps that promise.

Danse; The spectrum of reactions this man has here...depends so much on how close he is with Sole. With just another soldier under his command, really disappointed. You are a soldier. He'll back off and let them calm down, then give them a stern recommendation to either work on it, or consider a different career path. A soldier needs to be able to take orders, or discipline, or anything in a harsh tone. That's just the work. But if they're close...the GUILT. The GUILLLLLTTT. Like Curie, tries to fix it ASAP, hugs them if they let him. Apologizes for weeks after. Would dash himself against the rocks if Sole would let him.

Deacon; Panic. Panic. Panic. Switches his mood on a dime, bounces from joking, to still angry, to worried, to guilty, to joking again, to angry again...not because that's what he's feeling, Deacon is horrified, but he just isn't sure what to...do? There's very, very little that could make Deacon yell. Like...something really bad. So he's conflicted. He just made Sole cry. What the fuck, me? But also...Sole, c'mon...Eventually just focuses on de-escalating, calming them down. They can talk—properly, with no raised voices—later.

Gage; Honestly, might start laughing. Not even to be dick. Just...what? This fuck cleans house in the Gauntlet, butchers Colter, takes over Nuka World, but...getting yelled at is what spooks them? Have they...not noticed that when they're killing people, those people are yelling? How are you alive, man? Like Danse, changes on relationship. If he and Sole are close, he shuts up, and walks the fuck away. He's pissed off, he's annoyed, and he's hurt someone that he cares about enough that they're in tears. And this person doesn't crack easily. Him sticking around is bad news. It'll be a while, and painfully awkward, but...he will try to apologize. Keyword, try.

Hancock; Freezes, awkwardly tries to get them to stop and calm down, before slinking off. Hancock is not what one would call "emotionally apt". Where Deacon at least can remember how to be that, Hancock has only really known...casual relationships? One-off things, people he just parties with...not really friends. Or loved ones, even. Besides, Sole probably doesn't want him around right now...he certainly wouldn't. Vanishes for a while, and next Sole sees him, it's with presents and an earnest apology, and a promise to keep his temper in check.

MacCready; Huffs, kind of rolls his eyes, but MacCready is already dropping whatever they were fighting about and trying to patch this up. Takes back whatever he said even if it was true. He doesn't hug Sole, doesn't want to crowd them, but does rub their back or hold their hand. If Sole goes for a hug, they get it. MacCready is, weirdly, one of the more emotionally mature companions; handles it better, processes his own feelings better, and works with Sole to find a solution both to the initial problem, and how they both solve problems together in general.

Nick; It'll be a cold day in hell before Nick Valentine really yells at someone in a way that would warrant crying. So...either Sole has fucked up so much that he no longer cares, sees it as guilt-tripping, or Sole is (seemingly) overreacting to a simple criticism or scolding. First instance, he, again, doesn't care. Sole is probably a murdering jackass. Second instance, immediately concerned. People don't just start crying like that over something that simple. Either Sole is hurting and stressed way beyond what he thought, or there's something in their past that makes this more than what Nick sees it as. He drops everything, has them sit, talks them through some breathing exercises, gets them water. Sees if they'll talk about their feelings, or what they've gone through. Says he'll be more careful if that's a sore spot for them.

Piper; I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but Piper tends to throw candy at upset people. She'll also freeze for a minute, but jumps into action once the shock and shame wear off. Fumbles between saying she's sorry and begging them to stop crying, c'mon, Blue, you know she didn't mean...okay, well, no, she did, and it wasn't fair, and she's sorry, just take the gumballs, they're cherry, they'll make you feel better! No, Piper, they won't. Will kind of coddle and baby Sole for a while, concerned that they might be in a bad place.

Preston; Much like Nick...Preston is not a yeller, and he's not an angry, lashing-out kind of person. He's much more likely to withdraw and get quiet. So like...the fuck did Sole do? If its not a moral failing, but instead just a human slip-up, Preston will back down immediately, go "Okay, we'll talk later, you're not in the right headspace for this," and make sure Sole gets whatever they need. Hot food, water, sleep, maybe a bath. They need to discuss this and Preston is not so soft that crying will deter him. Being too yielding like that cost him Quincy. But he's not going to push something already breaking.

Unless Sole did something fucked up fucked up, like...go join the Nuka World raiders, or whatever. Preston will straight up laugh at them then, and he will do it to be a dick. Really? You went and did that, but can't stomach the consequences? Wow.

X6-88; Also wouldn't raise his voice. He gets curt, and his voice gets...softer, actually. Like...scarily soft. Crying when X6 critiques you is not going to end well. He has shit to do, and discussing the issue was one of them. And now Sole is wasting everyone's time sobbing. Over what, to X6, was nothing more an objective observation. How do you expect anything to get done without a spine? I think it would depend on the kind of crying, but he'll either give up, frustrated, or not care and want to just get it over with. X6 wants the issue resolved or at least discussed ASAP. He can't put everything on hold because Sole is weepy.

[thesilliestrovingalive]

Updated: September 24, 2024

Reworked Character #7: Ralf Jones

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING: Viewer discretion is advised due to references to divorce, death, and crime.

Real name: Rafael Paul Jonesbury

Esper title: Avatar of Flaming, Renewal, Controlling Quietus, and Physical Destruction

Alias: One-Man Army and Marauding Lupine Carnivore

Occupation: Colonel of the Ikari Warriors

Retirement plans: Open a boxing gym and experience all thrill-seeking activities that society has to offer

Special skills: Driving military vehicles, close quarters combat, orchestrating stress relief programs, proficiency in all weapons, and mercenary work

Esper abilities: His go-to esper ability is the Vulcan Punch, a rapid-fire series of punches capable of obliterating everything from humans, riot shields, bulletproof armour and glass, cars, all known slugs, small to medium-sized tanks, and smaller helicopters. Despite his belly being constantly bloody and inflamed, he experiences surprisingly little pain due to his exceptional pain suppression, increased blood vessel density, resistance to extreme temperatures, and rapidly regenerating organs. This unique combination, coupled with a secondary esophagus lined with razor-sharp, spiky hairs, enables Ralf to harness the inflammation and blood to vomit a controlled stream of scorching, burning red liquid that incinerates his enemies. The sole drawback of his perpetually bloody and inflamed belly is impaired digestion, leading to difficulties in processing food, which in turn causes persistent vomiting and diarrhea.

The skin on his torso, arms, and legs can harden into diamond-hard scales, providing impenetrable protection against bullets, blades, small bombs, and weaker cannon blasts. He can move at incredible velocities, effectively achieving infinite speed, allowing him to move indefinitely while time appears to stand still around him. Ralf can manifest up to twenty invisible arms composed of solidified telekinetic energy, which can be utilised to move around easily as well as bludgeon and slice through people and objects with precision. These arms appear to be malnourished and exhibit constant, erratic movements, reaching up to 20' 5" (622.5 cm) in length. He possesses the hearing and smell of a dog as well as the ability to manipulate red and orange flames. He can also induce explosive blasts with his punches or a mere touch of any of his fingers.

He has the ability to split his arms into six parts, exposing his coppery muscles and a gaping, organic muzzle that fires ten tentacles with sea lamprey-like mouths. These tentacles can insert themselves into the spine or brain of deceased enemies, injecting a black, tar-like substance to reanimate them. In the process, they augment their physical strength and render them obedient to Ralf's commands. Whenever Ralf is killed, his body rapidly transforms into a cocoon adorned with serrated shell plates, as his corpse dissolves into a mushy, visceral substance. This cocoon then violently pulsates before rupturing, giving birth to a new, fully formed Ralf, covered in bloodied slime and emerging stark naked, with no visible injuries or scars on his body. Whenever this occurs, he experiences temporary blindness, dizziness, and intense, bitter coldness.

Hobbies: Baseball, participating in the biennial fighting tournaments that the Ikari Warriors host, taking his friends to carnival rides, camping trips, and science and art museums, rewatching his favourite anime movies and shows, and playing arcade games and iconic riffs on the electric guitar

Likes: A medal awarded from the President of the United States, the natural sounds of the jungle, collecting blades that look cool in his eyes, alebrije sculptures, and Clark (views him as a brother)

Dislikes: False rumours, poisonous snakes (he almost got bitten by one during a past mission), abuse of power, children being killed, and people hurting and insulting those he considers as “family”

Favourite food: Intestinal sausages and bubblegum that taste like watermelon and blueberry

Favourite drink: Root beer floats

Sexuality: Biromantic asexual

Gender: Male

Age: 25 (in 2022), 31 (in 2028), 33 (in 2030), 35 (in 2032), 37 (in 2034), 44 (in 2041), 46 (in 2043), 47 (in 2044), and 50 (in 2047)

Blood type: A+

Weight: 243 lbs. (110 kg)

Design: He's a 6' 2" (187.96 cm) American mesomorph of Latino, Ojibwe, and British descent with a robust build, decently chiselled musculature, broad shoulders, and a bit of a beer belly. He has almond skin, sunburst amber-sage green eyes, sharp claws, bear-like teeth, and six fingers on his left hand. He has slightly messy ash brown hair with wispy bangs, which he often ties into a braid that falls to the middle of his back. On his left deltoid, he has a tattoo of a stylized red otter playfully escaping the jaws of a black-furred wolf with piercing yellow eyes, clutching a ball of purple fire in its forepaws. On his right forearm, he has a tattoo of an alebrije with undulating cerulean horns, an orchid-purple eagle head, languid lavender eyes with aquamarine pupils, a fiery mane, a forest-green elk body, and a hot pink salmon tail with red-orange tiger stripes. Sprawled across the right side of the creature in a vertical line is a Spanish phrase in silver: "La sangre nos fortalece", which translates to "Blood strengthens us" in English.

Ralf's military gear consists of a chrome orange bandana with shaky rifle green spots and cinnabar fingerless driving gloves with four ivory spikes on the knuckles. He wears a waterproof dark green vest with the Ikari Warriors logo emblazoned on the back, a coyote-fur trimmed collar, and two concealed strapped compartments, each capable of holding up to two firearms. However, one of the compartments often houses a sheathed Zantetsu sword instead. He wears cargo pants with an army green, brown, and silver-grey camouflage pattern, which aren't tucked into his beige jungle boots. He wears a grimy asparagus-hued sleeveless shirt paired with a yellowish-tan belt featuring four black pouches for bullets and a holster for his handgun.

Attached to his belt are two blades: Harpe, a khopesh-like sickle sword with a flint-encased adamant blade, and Yawarakai-Te, a double-edged katana featuring a green-grey hilt and a hardwood sheath adorned with iridescent crow feathers. When the air gently blows past Yawarakai-Te's blade, it produces a soft hissing sound. Yawarakai-Te's blade is unnaturally frigid, able to cut a leaf in half with ease, and compels its user to spare the innocent and undeserving from attack. Ralf dons a cardinal red waist pack that holds two cans of root beer as well as black elbow and knee pads. He also wears a black drop leg sheath for his combat knife, which features two pointed silvery stripes that form a triangular pattern.

Over his shirt, he dons a Soldier Plate Carrier System (SPCS) with a MultiCam pattern, which carries around his walkie-talkie and ammo for other firearms. Above his belt, he has a dark brown bandolier for holding sticks of dynamite. Ralf carries around a yellowish-tan load-bearing backpack that contains camping equipment, tactical explosives, portable ammo boxes, a canteen full of water, a bazooka, maps for all continents, an extra pair of clothes, and a bag of THC-infused box gummies in light orange (mango peach), red (strawberry), and pale yellow (pineapple). His backpack also contains a faded photograph of a younger him and Clark, an army Medal of Honor, a silver milagro charm in the shape of a fiery heart for good luck and protection, an empty spotted turtle shell, and a dreamcatcher adorned with a grey web design, song sparrow feathers, and colourful beads in red, white, yellow, and black.

He occasionally brings his copper-hued electric guitar and goldenrod-coloured pick holder, containing a rainbow of guitar picks (he jokingly says that he dislikes the purple one the most), on deployments and during downtime in the field. He wears hook earrings, each featuring three porcupine quills tipped with gaspeite beads, and a Jocla necklace made of alternating white wampum beads, copper beads, and raven feathers.

Thanks to Tarma, he owns a key to access his red-violet Matchless G3/L motorcycle, which has a purplish-black sheen. The gas tank features a sky blue fish scale pattern with malachite green dots at the centre of each scale.

Super Devil form: He's a 15' 7" (474.98 cm) draconic entity with a grotesque musculature and scaly, iridescent rifle green skin. He has a cerulean coyote-shaped head with sunburst amber-sage green eyes, a cardinal red nose, and a wispy silver-grey goat's beard. Ralf also has horse ears, an orchid-purple snout, two rows of olivine shark teeth, and a slimy, pointed tongue. His arms and legs are covered in ash brown otter fur, featuring six fingers and razor-sharp copper claws. He has eagle-like feet with copper talons, a fiery mane, and the upper skeletal body of an antlerless elk partially emerging from his back.

This skeletal elk body features otter-like teeth, an aquamarine forked tongue, and glowing goldenrod eyes. It’s covered in a layer of translucent flesh stitched to his back with forest green sinew. A hot pink salmon tail with red-orange tiger stripes lies flat on his back, attached to both the skeletal body and the muscle fibres, veins, and flesh of his back. The tail is slightly less than half the length of his actual tail and appears to flutter lightly every now and then.

Three rows of symmetrical, deadly sharp, conical spikes are positioned on his back, running from the base of his neck to just before the start of his tail. He has two massive bat-like wings, boasting an impressive wingspan of 21 ft (640.08 cm). Despite being dull and tattered, the wings' membrane displays silvery spots and a striking gradient from grenadier red to flush orange to selective yellow. Additionally, Ralf has olivine thumbs tipped with copper claws, and his forearms, wrists, and five fingers are dark green. He has a long, winding, serpentine tail that's twice his height, boasting distinctive coloration and markings reminiscent of a pickerel frog, and culminating in a silver arrowhead-shaped tip.

Personality: He's a rowdy, outgoing, stubborn, and honest individual with a strong passion for action and thrill-seeking ventures. However, he also values his leisure time and ensures others take regular breaks to rest and recharge. He's extremely protective towards new recruits under his command, comrades, and friends, viewing them as family. Ralf is willing to go to great lengths to ensure their safety and the security of innocent lives, even if it requires taking bold action or putting himself in harm's way. However, he harbours a deep-seated hatred for betrayal, particularly among those in the Regular Army or whom he considers family.

He often enjoys teasing Clark, playfully poking fun at his serious nature while showing him brotherly affection, but also treats him with great respect and compassion. The thought of potentially losing his brother-in-arms, Clark, through unfair circumstances is unbearable to him. He deeply cares about children, recognizing their importance to the growth and future of humanity, and is appalled by those who abuse and harm them. The thought of inadvertently causing harm to a child or being forced to do so is utterly devastating to him.

Similar to Marco, he has a habit of concealing his deepest emotions, particularly those related to the many people he has lost during countless wars and terrorist attacks. Instead, he often tries to drown his sorrows with a few drinks, seeks comfort in the company of friends, or indulges in reckless activities. Whenever he gets drunk, he exhibits forgetfulness, clumsiness, mild paranoia, excessive joviality, and loquaciousness. He has a habit of frequently mistaking people's names, often using similar but incorrect variations (e.g. calling Marco "Mark" and Fio "Fia"), which greatly embarrasses him, prompting him to profusely apologise for the mistake. Ralf is truly fascinated by Hyakutaro, drawn to his enigmatic origins and historic status as the first esper ever known to humanity. He tries his best to avoid water activities like cruising and canoeing as they make him prone to seasickness. He finds Tarma and Nadia to be absolutely hilarious and has a soft spot for Trevor's nerdy and laid-back demeanour.

He believes that immortality is unattainable for espers and humans, reserved for the psyche and most powerful deities. He's an animist who believes everything is interconnected, and everyone has a vital role in stewarding the earth. He's a devout believer in manitou, which represents the mysterious power of life and the universe. Surprisingly, Ralf is a skilled storyteller, often recounting his past experiences and sharing entertaining moral stories his father once shared with him. Although he's a fun-loving, hot-headed enthusiast of arcades and classic anime with a great sense of humour, he possesses remarkable wisdom and generosity. He's not fond of the false rumours that surround the goings-on of the world and his personal life. He closely holds onto the values his mother taught him, including independence, loyalty, dignity, self-respect, healthy pride, and respect for elders and authority figures.

Backstory: Rafael Paul Jonesbury was born on August 25, 1997 in the Midwest, United States. His father, Gabriel Jonesbury, was an Ojibwe shaman and owner of an arts and crafts shop with a spirit name of Kechewaishke. His mother, Javiera, was a British-Latina mercenary who served in the Regular Army. Like Ralf, she was an esper with the esteemed title of the Avatar of Physical Decay, Luminosity, and Fogginess. Gabriel would often share moral and entertaining stories that connected various figures from Ojibwe spiritual beliefs, such as the Thunderbird, Great Serpent, Mishipeshu, and Nanabozo. He also taught him about other important beliefs valued among First Nations peoples, including the Grandfather Teachings and the Medicine Wheel. He sparked Ralf's love for nature and encouraged him to fearlessly explore his identity and interests.

Javiera taught him numerous Latinx cultural values, the importance of family, and how his faith in God would be greatly rewarded. She often crafted wooden alebrije sculptures for him when she was away from home. She usually encouraged him to be proud of his cultural heritage and not let others bring him down for being different. While she appreciated his fondness for nature, she found his love for arcades and anime perplexing. She would unknowingly spark his interest in the military, particularly the mercenary lifestyle, through her stories and experiences.

At age 7, his parents decided to get a divorce due to their differing spiritual beliefs, which were starting to clash more and more. He lived with his father for the most part but was allowed to visit his mother whenever she was between assignments or not away on mercenary work. He also began to take up baseball, which became his favourite sport to play and watch on the big screen.

At 12, with the support of his father and his Ojibwe community, he embarked on his spiritual quest. Ralf recalls that it produced visions of his future life as a great warrior and storyteller, revealing that he's an esper and teaching him how to harness his powers and access his Super Devil form. After a period of isolation and fasting, it revealed the spirits of his ancestors and his three guardian animals: the wolf, turtle, and otter. Through this experience, he developed his survival skills, gained maturity, and strengthened his connection with nature and the divine forces of life.

At age 14, before embarking on a mission against mysterious terrorist cultists, Javiera gave him her silver milagro charm for safekeeping, telling him it would bring him good luck and protection. Tragically, that mission proved to be her last, as she was captured and tortured to death. When Ralf received the devastating news, he struggled to come to terms with it and felt overwhelming guilt, as if her fate was his fault because he possessed her milagro charm. Although his parents were divorced, Gabriel was deeply saddened by the news and did his best to support Ralf through his emotional turmoil.

When he turned 20, his father was killed during a robbery at the arts and crafts shop he owned. To make matters worse, he was facing financial difficulties at the time and struggling to find a stable job. In his desperation, he turned to an illegal fighting ring, drawn by the promise of cash prizes likely funded by other criminal activities. He participated in numerous fights, both in the ring and on the streets, for profit, eventually becoming the most skilled fighter among them. Ralf also discovered a fondness for THC-infused gummies, which provided relief from his emotional pain and served as a pleasant indulgence.

All of that changed when the Ikari Warriors discovered the famous street fighter's true identity as an esper after he joined their biennial tournament. With little convincing needed, Ralf joined the Ikari Warriors, driven by a desire to carry on his mother's legacy and explore the world. He excelled in all aspects of the military training he received, particularly in utilising his esper abilities and mastering hand-to-hand combat. The news that the Ikari Warriors had recruited another esper caught Clark's attention, but he was hesitant to approach Ralf. However, after a mission against a corrupt politician attempting to seize control of Brazil, Ralf and Clark became fast friends. During his time with the Ikari Warriors, Ralf formed close friendships with several comrades, including General Kawasaki, Second Lieutenant Cook, Eikichi, Leland, and Byron.

Ralf has been on numerous missions for the Ikari Warriors, rising through the ranks to become a colonel due to his natural leadership skills and courage on the battlefield. He and Clark played a crucial role in defeating a secret society, referred to as the Serapion Fellowship, that had infiltrated and influenced much of Latin America's political and religious landscape, a group that would later evolve into the Ptolemaic Army.

In another notable operation, Ralf, Clark, and a few comrades successfully rescued Elise, the U.S. President's daughter, from a massive criminal organisation that had planned to exploit her to gain access to the President's funds and harvest her organs. Ralf fondly recalls this mission, as it earned him a Medal of Honor from the U.S. President. He acquired Harpe during a mission in Greece where terrorists had raided a recently discovered catacomb. Additionally, he obtained Yawarakai-Te during a separate mission in Yamagata, Japan where a cult with illegal weaponry had taken over an old village, intent on instigating a nationwide war.

Ralf has endured numerous tragedies, fueling his determination to improve and protect the innocent. He witnessed the devastating loss of General Kawasaki during a battle against a cartel in Mexico, where he was tragically crushed and burned alive by flaming debris from a missile strike. Second Lieutenant Cook fell victim to a traitor within the Ikari Warriors, who betrayed them to a bioterrorist group during a mission in Czechia, resulting in her assassination. While investigating a town ravaged by a guerrilla army in Saudi Arabia, Byron was horrifically devoured by a swarm of Man Eaters. Leland met a brutal end during a mission on a stolen submarine, where he was fatally gutted by a criminal. Eikichi suffered a terrifying fate when a Mutated Soldier latched onto him while investigating an abandoned laboratory, promptly exploding shortly after.

During the Great Morden War, Ralf made a name for himself as he single-handedly successfully defended the United States against the Rebel Army's invasion. Notably, he destroyed a massive Rebel aircraft that had been using captured men, women, and children as hostages and human shields. However, upon destroying the aircraft, Ralf was met with devastating news: there were innocent civilians on board, and they had all perished in the attack. This heroic yet tragic act caught the attention of the Regular Army's high command, who subsequently approached the Ikari Warriors to propose a strategic alliance. The offer was readily accepted, and as a result, the Ikari Warriors were integrated as the elite mercenary branch of the Regular Army.

As a way to support the Regular Army and show his respect, Ralf frequently trains new recruits to hone their melee combat skills. Due to his mercenary work, he rarely had the opportunity to meet members of the Regular Army's other special forces. He had always heard heroic stories about Hyakutaro and the elite members of the P.F. Squad and S.P.A.R.R.O.W.S., especially those from the Great Morden War and the Martian-Rebel Alliance War. He initially hoped to meet them in person, fascinated by their tactical prowess and teamwork. This dream eventually became a reality during a mission against the Invaders.

[luckykittysshowerthoughts]

Simeon's Punishment

I want to start this off by saying that I agree with the masses that Season 4 was VERY poorly executed. I honestly have actual trust issues with the writers after how that season was handled, to the point that it actually prevented me from getting into Nightbringer until very recently.

...that said. I think that beneath the poor pacing, vague wording, misplaced focus, lack of closure, hidden signals and all-around awful handling, there is something here that deserves to be analyzed. So I'm writing this because I want to decode whatever the fuck the writers were going for. So, here we go.

The reason for Simeon's punishment was... confusing, to say the least. Yes, he did steal from the Celestial Realm, and from Michael personally. However... the reasons he did so are not only just, but reasons Michael should have personally agreed with. Even if Michael didn't give a damn about MC, he very clearly still loves Lucifer- and if Simeon hadn't done what he did, MC would have driven that knife straight through Lucifer's chest. What Simeon did saved the life of one of the most important people to Michael... not to mention protected the Celestial Realm. MC's ring of power was dangerously close to destabilizing all three realms, with the effects already starting to hit the Celestial Realm. What Simeon did was in the best interest of everyone, including Michael and the Celestial Realm. So, why was he punished...?

Well, this post is going to take a similar direction to my post about the fall. It wasn't actually meant to be a punishment at all.

When you look at Simeon's situation from a lens of punishment, certain details don't add up. It wasn't like Michael left Simeon out to dry. He sent arguably his most important angel, Raphael, to ensure Simeon's safety. He reached out to and to some extent collaborated with the Devildom- which he's made clear in the past that he distrusts and dislikes- just to keep everyone on the same page about Simeon and his protection. These acts don't exactly scream "punishment".

Then there was what Michael said to MC in season three- "I have to think about Simeon as well, after all."

This reads to me like Michael is- albeit subtly- angsting over the situation. Like he's still actively looking out for Simeon and his best interests, in his own way. It certainly doesn't sound like someone who has ill will towards him or is apathetic about his wellbeing.

Raphael doesn't seem particularly unhappy with Simeon over the whole thing either, and we all know how much of a stickler Raphael is for rules and doing the "right" thing. His full support of Simeon the entire time tells me that this is a little more complicated than a broken rule.

So... what exactly happened?

It's made very obvious that Simeon being turned human was because he stole the ring; that isn't up for debate. But that doesn't necessarily mean it was a punishment. What I think happened was that the incident made Michael realize a few things about Simeon- and that this was a long time coming, it's just that the situation with the ring was what made him feel that Simeon was better off not being an angel.

In the act of stealing the ring, Simeon made a very loud and clear statement about where his heart truly lies and what's important to him.

If his first and foremost thought was to be a good loyal angel, he would have let that dagger go straight through Lucifer's chest for the "greater good". Lucifer would have died, and MC would be worse for wear, but the Celestial Realm would be safe from the chaotic magic MC possessed.

...but that wasn't what was important to Simeon. That wasn't what mattered most to him.

What Simeon did saved the Celestial Realm, but that's not why he did it. He did it to save Lucifer and MC. That was what was important to him. His heart doesn't lie with the Celestial Realm, not anymore. It lies with MC, and with the brothers, and with the spirit of the exchange program- the fight to make bonds between the realms work.

I'll get into MC and Lucifer in a moment, but for now, that last point. His full and undying belief in doing what's best for all three realms. In Nightbringer, if MC tells Solomon that they want to find a way that's best for everyone instead of choosing between the demons, angels, and humans, it raises intimacy levels not with Solomon, but with Simeon. Who wasn't even in the room or anywhere near them at the time.

That is who Simeon is.

And the rules of the Celestial Realm confine him from doing what he was meant to do, the person he wanted to be.

As an angel, Simeon was only allowed to even see Lucifer and his brothers due to the exchange program- he wasn't allowed to venture down to visit his dear brother freely; in the original game's timeline he likely went centuries without being able to contact him.

He was even more restricted with MC, with whom he had to express clear restraint to avoid lustful sinning. Though most of the examples of this are locked behind Devilgrams (one of the many ways in which this whole arc was poorly handled)- one example I remember was one of his birthday cards from the year of S4 where he's shown sending MC away to hold himself back from "temptation". He couldn't love MC in the way he wanted to love them, because he was an angel.

And the relationship between the realms? Well, he can't do what's best for everyone if he's bound by the strict and oppressive rules of one. The rules that a very drunk Simeon in the devilgram "Simeon's Hidden Side" confesses were severely burning him out. The rules that, in Season 2, he spat in the face of with zero hesitation to pursue what he truly believed in. Simeon is a free spirit, one being slowly strangled by the Celestial Realm's jungle of rules and restrictions.

I don't think Michael did what he did because he was angry with Simeon. I think he did it because he knew it was time to let him go.

But that may not have been what he said. We all know by now that Michael isn't the brightest socially-speaking. When even Raphael, the most tactless being across the three realms, calls you socially inept, that's saying something.

I think what Michael meant to say was that the incident with the ring made him realize that Simeon is better off elsewhere. But what came out was "this is because of the ring"- which bears some very obvious negative implications. Especially when spoken to someone who is most likely in immense shock from the daunting situation they're being faced with. Simeon may be great at reading people and interpreting their motivations under normal circumstances, but it's very likely a part of Simeon's brain just turned off the moment he learned he was going to be human- honestly, who could blame him.

I think the whole "punishment" aspect was, largely, a miscommunication. Something that's backed up further towards the end of the season.

When Satan asks Simeon if it's because he stole the ring, Simeon's answer is rather vague.

"Something like that". That's... a rather strange response. It's rather roundabout. It indicates that it's a little more complicated.

Then there was what Simeon said later in that conversation.

"You-know-who has been waiting for me to figure that out."

Michael's been waiting for Simeon to realize why he actually did what he did. It wasn't about what Simeon did, but who he was. After all, as Simeon says, "this is who I am".

In short...

Yes, Simeon's transformation into a human was because he stole the ring. But no, that doesn't mean it was a punishment.

Simeon's act wasn't just a broken rule, it was a statement about who he is and where his heart lies- a statement that made Michael realize that he's not meant to be an angel. But when Michael said that he was turning Simeon human because he stole the ring, that was not what was gotten across- an in-shock Simeon interpreted it as a punishment, and viewed it as such until the end of the season where he realized what Michael actually meant.

And, honestly, I'm alright with this. I still have a bone to pick with the writers regarding how it was handled, I could rant for ages about that, but I can appreciate the idea itself. My only real concern now is that I hope Simeon keeps his angel lifespan. If he doesn't, then turning him human is essentially indirectly killing him down the line- which has moral issues I can't overlook or justify. That's really my only big problem here after looking at it under a microscope.

I'm also noticing a trend here, if my analysis is in any way accurate. It seems like Michael is the kind of person to make very big, very strange, morally dubious decisions that start to make a lot more sense when looked at more closely. It really lends credence to Simeon's whole "he does everything for a reason" thing. It's a part of Michael's character that I'm interested in seeing where it goes- but hoping for no more Simeon angst in the process, please. Please don’t hurt my boy again.

But, that's my two cents. If this doesn't make sense, it's because I wrote this in an ADHD-induced frenzy at 4 AM and apparently didn't edit it well (or at all) in the morning. Either way, I'll go ahead and claim my title as this hellsite's biggest Michael apologist before anyone can stick it to me. Kitty out.

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)