#I took a ✨sleeping pill✨

[hotmessmaxpress]

I just think marc should be able to tuck his face against vale’s chest. I think he should be able to hug vale and tuck his nose up against vale’s neck and relax. He should get to snuggle up to vale and be warm and comfortable. I think vale should stop being a dick so that can happen.

And while I’m at it, bezz deserves that too. But not!!! just for winning. All the time. Especially when he’s in his Sad Gay Crisis phase. Vale hug the boy. Hug him and maybe he’ll stop getting weird emo sad boy tattoos.

[alienaiver]

im so excited but soooo nervous for the con this weekend im 😵‍💫🥺

[minkdelovely]

love and power

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧     ✧     ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

chapter nine

“i’d leave if you’d let me.”

Alastor x Fem!Reader ; MDNI 18+ ; [y/n] used sparingly ; Alias in Hell is Sylvie

tags/warnings: descriptions of pain, alcohol consumption, more smut (cuz i couldn’t help myself apparently lol): dry humping; quickie; cream pie, undressing a bandage, bite wounds, the morning after talk, return of the chain…

word count: 3.9k

author’s note: y’all i really can’t believe it… the penultimate chapter is here 🥲 i really can’t express how much it means to have you join me on this little journey here. whether you’ve been reading from the beginning or just found it, i just want to convey my sincerest thanks 💖 no alastor pov this time (a first! i shocked even myself) but don’t fret — we will get a peek into his mind before this is all over. sorry if this one’s a little dialogue heavy but they had a lot to say 🙈✨ also please go listen to 1121 by halsey 🙏🏻❤️‍🔥

prelude ; chapter one ; chapter two ; chapter three ; chapter four ; chapter five ; chapter six ; chapter seven ; chapter eight ; chapter nine ; chapter ten: part one ; chapter ten: part two

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧     ✧     ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

You stirred, eyebrows furrowing as a sleepy whine rose in your throat; a pulsing ache effectively kicking you out of unconsciousness. There was movement next to you on the bed followed by the sound of a book closing and the clinking of glass, rounded out with the soothing melody of liquid pouring. 

As your eyes finally cracked open, still blurry with sleep, you took a deep waking breath through your nose. Spending so much time here, you recognized Alastor’s room by scent alone. Something that didn’t fully resonate with you until another realization came to mind — the bed you were in right now was his. Tucked into the very sheets you so diligently made nice every morning.

“I was wondering when you’d be waking up… I have medicine for you.” 

Alastor’s voice was mellow as his fingers swept the hair back from your face, and you blinked a few times to clear your vision. He was bending over you, backlit against the warm light coming from the lamp on the nightstand, looking disarming as ever in his pajamas. But the softly amused look on his face made you doubt that you were really awake.

Another unpleasant throb in your shoulder was a reminder that you most definitely were. Which also brought attention to the fact that you had been dressed as well. Underneath the clothing you took note of the confined, consoling feeling around your shoulder and chest, not dissimilar from a seatbelt. A bandage? 

When had all this happened? And what time was it? Clearly late enough to constitute the need for lamplight…

You weren’t able to dwell on anything more before a sharp jolt of pain shot straight up your neck, causing you to wince with a hiss. Alastor tutted and nudged the glass at you with one hand and helped you sit up with the other. When you reached out you recognized the pattern on the sleeve adorning your arm, a lump forming in your throat. Alastor’s housecoat. Though you were just as quickly distracted from that fact when you realized what he had shoved in your hand.

“This is medicine?” you sulked, frowning over the glass of whiskey stinging your nostrils. “You don’t just have—”

“Don’t get me started on those wretched pills, if that’s what you’re referring you,” he scoffed, face pinched with offense. His voice softened a bit but was still assertive when he continued. “This is natural. It will help. Promise.”

You looked at him with a dubiousness that didn’t reach your eyes, slowly lifting the glass to your lips. He saw right through it of course, judging by the smoldering look of satisfaction he was giving you. There was another ache… this time not in your shoulder. You weren’t exactly thrilled with how easily you melted under his gaze. Not with all backtracking the two of you still had to do regarding the afternoon. Maybe it’s just a post-sex aftershock…

So you sipped the drink, actually appreciating the distracting burn in your throat that trickled into your chest. You didn’t even have to say it, glowering at him and his haughty I told you so smile over the glass as you finished it off. He took the empty glass from you, refilled it with double the amount, and handed it back.

“No more after this, right?” you said after downing more than half of it with a grimace. Whiskey was never a favorite of yours and the taste was starting to overpower the burn.

“Promise,” he goaded, face turned up with his familiar taunt.

Thankfully the blush on your face could be dismissed by the alcohol, but you weren’t able to stop the scoffing laugh that escaped you; covering your mouth with your free hand when you remembered yourself. God forbid he thought you were making fun of him — which you obviously weren’t — but it would be just your luck to spoil the mood. He surprised you, taking your hand from your mouth as he leaned in, a mischievous leer glimmering in his eyes. 

“Goodness! You know, I was really beginning to think you didn’t know how to laugh,” he said, voice low, his hand coming up to rest under your chin. A mutual favorite place for him to touch. “Is this a new development, or have I always been so amusing?”

“Sometimes,” you answered mildly, grateful you managed to keep the tremble out of your voice but failed to maintain eye contact as your heart picked up. The way his thumb was lazily petting your jaw wasn’t helping. “I’m just normally better at holding back.”

Alastor’s face was in front of you now, noses almost touching as his eyes focused on you. He took the drink out of your hand and finished what was left before setting it down to resume his close proximity. “Hmm… I think that’s the habit of yours I dislike the most.”

The kiss that followed was esurient, his long fingers now splayed across the expanse of your neck to hold you in place as his tongue wasted no time finding comfort in your mouth. The whine you couldn’t hold back earned you a lusty hum in return, followed by a testing bite to your bottom lip as your fingers tangled in his hair. It was only too easy to slip back into this; openly moaning into him as he took you by the waist and easily maneuvered you to straddle his lap. His wicked mouth never leaving yours for a moment.

Time slipped away, its intangibility and irrelevance in the afterlife never more apparent as your mind and body honed in on the present. God, he was just so warm; the comfort it gave you was concerning, leaving you worried over how you would fare without it. It wasn’t the only thing you were troubled over — equally relishing the gift of every sound and touch he gave. His lithe, statuesque frame still providing so much security even while underneath you being the most generous of all.

“I think I like this too much,” you whispered against his lips, out of breath. Unsure if the confession was one of shame, regret, or pride.   

“I know,” he murmured, giving your lips a final kiss before leaving a trail of them to your neck. Wantonly indulging himself there as if it could kiss back.

It was hard to discern the ambiguity you heard in his voice. Not quite pity, not quite indifference. And despite the fire that threatened to envelop you whole, the thought that crept up in the back of your mind was one you couldn’t ignore.

Was he regretting this already?

The thought was abruptly whisked away as Alastor’s hips rolled against you, the feeling of his arousal pulling a heady sigh from your chest. He let out a soft grunt in return, the sensation of his open mouth and hot breath against your skin making you feel faint. The graze of his teeth as his hands guided you to slowly grind on him made you cry out in earnest; a sound you repeated from his responding moan. You stayed this way for a while, rocking and moaning against each other as he covered the right side of your neck with more hickies and bites and kisses until the pressure building in your loins was too much to bear.

“Alastor, please,” you pleaded softly, your need hanging heavy in the air of the otherwise silent room.

He gasped into your skin and lifted you off him, reaching underneath the night coat to pull your underwear down, then doing the same with his own pants. Propped up against some pillows, he was at an angle somewhere between lying down and sitting up, and he brought his knees up behind you for support. You gasped as he ran his length against your slick arousal, walls already twitching just from the memory of how he had felt inside you earlier. The two of you shared a loud, wanton moan of relief as you took him to the hilt, panting as you both adjusted.

Definitely like this too much… 

Exhilarated by the very real aspect of not lasting long, you reflexively clenched around him; drawing a hiss from between his teeth that in turn left his mouth hanging open in such a salacious way you couldn’t stop yourself from whining his name.

“Hahhh…! A warning next time, sweetheart,” he gasped, his hands on your waist tightening with a pleasantly firm grip. 

Perhaps as retribution, the sharp thrust he gave you made you scream from pleasure and shock. Afterward, he set a deep and steady pace, the angle quickly proving to be a new favorite with the way your clit rubbed against him; his swollen head mercilessly stimulating your spongy core as he bounced you on and off his cock. The slapping of your skin meeting between your combined gasps of rapture only fueling your lust.

“Hmmnnn Alastor…!” you mewled, feeling a wave of your arousal coat him as you cried out. Barely able to keep your eyes open from the way your eyebrows were drawn together. “Alastor!”

“Haahh, fuck — Ahhh…!” he moaned, throwing his head back as he began bucking into you in earnest. Your hands gripping his shoulders to try and keep steady as you eagerly accepted his new rhythm.

The tightness in your belly made itself known then with a scorching ache. Coiling tighter and tighter as you took in his licentious expression and heaving chest until you couldn’t take it anymore. Too intoxicated by the erotic scene and feeling of him to hold on.

“Alastor — mmm! You’re gonna — hahh — gonna make me cum,” you practically sobbed, unable to stop the words as a blush burned your cheeks.

He let out a loud, drawn out grunt as his head shot up, eyes looking straight into yours; his florid face, clenched teeth, and intense crimson gaze the last thing you saw before your vision went white. Unabashedly moaning as your orgasm crashed through you with an exquisite relief you didn’t know was possible. Alastor cursed as you spasmed and tightened around him, his fingers punishing on your waist as he quickly followed suit and came inside you; that hot, familiar feeling of his release nearly making you climax again as the two of you sloppily rocked against each other until the high was finally sated.

You collapsed against his chest, his rapid heartbeat a lovely companion to the sounds of you both trying to catch your breath. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head as he pulled out, the emptiness that followed causing you to whimper which he responded to with a tired, satisfied chuckle that rumbled in your ears. The warmth you felt in your chest from the sound provided both comfort and alarm as an accompanying question bloomed in your mind.

How will we ever go back to normal…?

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

When you awoke again you were in your own bed, noticeably alone. The morning light piercing your curtains bright enough to indicate that you might be pushing early afternoon. You stretched and rolled onto your back, taking in the sight of your shredded canopy. So that had been the sound you heard…

After lying there for a few minutes, you groaned as you forced yourself out of bed, driven mostly by your need to take a shower. Something that presented somewhat of a problem when you remembered the bandage Alastor had dressed you with. Would it be too soon to remove? And what was hiding underneath? A pang of anxiety shot through you, wishing he was here to provide the answers.

But he’s not.

You weren’t sure what you were expecting to find in the mirror, but you had definitely underestimated the state of your neck. There didn’t seem to be an inch of it that wasn’t touched by a violet bruise or scarlet bite, save for your throat, which presented a contrast so stark it almost made you dizzy. How the hell will I cover this up?

The only thing you owned with a collar high enough was the dress that Alastor had ruined in a fit of passion with no replacement in sight. You took a deep breath and shed the housecoat, taking in the bandage that wrapped around your left shoulder and chest, unsure of where to start in terms of unwrapping it — he had done a very good job. A fact that weighed on your heart like a stone.

You managed to find the loose end as the shower warmed up, easily unwinding the gauze from your chest until you gingerly began the task of peeling it off your shoulder. Worried that parts of it might have stuck to each mark of his fangs; a painful fate you weren’t able to completely avoid, but on the whole, you considered yourself lucky that the gauze had only latched to a few of the punctures. An incredulous huff of a laugh escaped you when you realized that the huge bite would actually be easier to hide than the hickies.

As was typically the case, you felt a lot better once you were out of the shower. It was a serenity that was quickly pulled out from under you when you opened your bathroom door and saw Alastor sitting on the edge of your bed.

“Fuck! You scared me,” you gasped, hand over your heart. It was mostly true, though you found yourself more relieved at the sight of him than anything.

“Ha, ha! Yes, I’ve been known to do that,” he said, his eyes narrowing with a smug mirth as he patted the empty space next to him. “Come sit. I thought you might need some help.”

You sighed, doing your best to keep your heartbeat steady as you crossed the room and sat down on the bed with your back to him at his direction with a silent spin of his finger. He had brought a little kit of supplies consisting of a couple tins, tape, and gauze. The items laid out near him on the bed with a meticulousness you couldn’t help but find endearing. Was there anything he set out to do without poise and purpose?

He quickly got to work, humming aimlessly to himself as he applied one of the tinctures to each puncture of his bite. Whatever it was, the subtle sting it provided was a nice distraction from the overwhelming herbal smell it gave off. It wasn’t exactly unpleasant, but you would be glad to have it covered up all the same. Alastor had to lean over you to attend to the wounds on your collarbone, and you let yourself get lost in the look of concentration on his face.

“You’re in a good mood today,” you said quietly as his hand fanned over the medicine to dry.

He huffed a small laugh, lips curling into a pleasant smile. “Well I certainly never set out to be in a bad mood, my dear.” He let out a melodramatic sigh before adding, “It’s just thrust upon me.”

“Aww, what a victim you are,” you pouted sarcastically, laughing when he flicked your arm. 

“You’re in quite the good mood yourself, all things considered,” he mused, applying the balm from his second tin. 

The careful but firm application from his fingers made you hum with content and the two of you locked eyes then, but the look in his was torn; fighting between fondness and pity. He didn’t have to say it, you already knew.

“We need to talk about yesterday,” you said, resigned, pleased to hear that you sounded stronger than you felt. 

He nodded with a sigh, the soft smile on his lips threatening to make your eyes well with sudden tears. “That we do, my dear. But let me finish with your bandage first, hm?”

You did your best not to overthink the conversation ahead of you while he finished applying the balm before wrapping you up, knowing it wouldn’t do you any good. There were only so many things to say, after all. So many ways it could go…

What exactly did you want from all of this? It was hard enough to rectify the blossoming feelings you had for Alastor despite the short amount of time you had known him. But you had discovered so much about him in spite of that, the sex just made it more complicated. It wasn’t that you regretted it — how could you? You wouldn’t deny that it had been the best sex of your existence. Even with the bite. Still, you were typically much more cautious when it came to giving your heart away to someone. What was it about Alastor that made you throw your rules to the wayside? 

When you racked your brain for an answer, all it did was conjure his image. Silly, considering he was right behind you. Methodically dressing your wound with the same amount of care he had displayed after giving it to you. How many times had those hands provided you with his brand of reassurance? That mix of tenderness and strength that he gave to you at his whim, effectively catching you in his push-and-pull game. Whether your feelings for him in the aftermath had been his intent or not, well. They were there.

The playing ground was tipped in his favor, but you understood that. Even in the middle of your tryst, you knew that it could very well be the only time. Maybe he just needed to let off some steam. Yesterday you had felt resolved enough to be of use to him in whichever way he needed, more than willing to let him have his prize (so to speak). It would be naive to think that the dynamic between you wouldn’t change. Either for better or worse, that was inevitable but… that didn’t explain why you felt so dejected.

What do I want?

Could you be satisfied with being used as a plaything, if that’s what he wanted? The thought of him never touching you again made that an easier pill to swallow, bitter as it was. But you weren’t a fool. It’s not as if you were expecting a marriage proposal.

Suddenly Alastor's hand was cupping your face so that you were looking up at him, a relaxed but almost somber expression waiting for you. 

“You’re worried. I can smell it, you know.”

You sighed, resenting the blush you felt creeping across your face. “Of course you can. I don’t think there’s anything that’s only mine anymore beyond my own thoughts.”

The words came out sharper than you had meant them to, but you didn’t apologize. Surprisingly, he didn’t seem to mind, staying silent as if waiting for you to continue. So you did.

“Do you regret it? And be honest with me… please.”

It was his turn to sigh now, taking a moment before responding calmly. “Not all of it.”

I knew it.

Really, you did. But the knowledge wasn’t helping as much as you hoped it would. In fact, it was only serving to make you feel worse.

“Which parts?”

He said your name with a warning. One you should have heeded, given how long it had been since he had spoken your real name. But you didn’t look away from him. You refused to beg with your mouth, so you pleaded with your eyes. Just tell me.

Alastor exhaled, a deep and exasperated sound. 

“The circumstance doesn't sit right with me. I’m sure you didn’t notice, but Valentino left his pheromones on you — and they were especially potent… I have a hard time believing his intention was for you to make it out with just a bite.” He looked down at your shoulder then, an unreadable expression on his face. “I don’t enjoy being played for a fool.”

A flash of anger shot through you, but you did your best to quell it. Letting it get the better of you right now would only be to your detriment. Did he not realize what a cruel, selfish thing that was to say? He wasn’t the only one who had been toyed with.

“Okay, so what about last night? The second time. Were the pheromones still working then, too?” you pressed. The embarrassment you felt fueling the frustration in your voice. 

Alastor stood up then, the strain of impatience beginning to show on his face as he towered over you. “I suggest you watch your tone, child. And remember that I don’t owe you an explanation for anything. You are beholden to me. Not the other way around.”

The simmering anger you had managed to keep down boiled over at that, and you jumped to your feet to glare up at him. Since any kind of autonomy was out of the question, then an explanation was the least he could give you. And even then, it was something you could no longer be satisfied with if it was coming from some twisted form of benevolence on his part. 

Valentino had his part to play, but it’s not like he had forced Alastor to kiss you when you offered him your help. You couldn’t reconcile the words he was saying now, so contradictory to his actions. Every kind word and touch… Did they all come from some weird obligation he felt to play the part until the pheromones wore off? The bandage he had just applied with such attentiveness felt like a mockery. How did you let yourself get so carried away by it all? Stupid, stupid, stupid!

“Everything is your way, your pace! All you’ve done since I met you is push me around and play with my feelings — and have I ever done anything than take it? I clean your room the way you want it, I keep up with all the busywork you give me. And now you’ve taken one of the last pieces of me that was still just mine, but that was a game, too!”

“You forget your place!” he roared, his face darkening with fury as the chain appeared around your neck. He pulled the leash taught so that you were standing on your toes as he forced you to look up at him, your hands instinctively holding onto it to balance your weight. “If your existence here is so miserable, perhaps you’d like to join the souls I keep in my radio? I can assure you it’s less than pleasant,” he hissed with vitriol, tugging on the chain so that your faces were nearly touching. Your toes no longer on the floor.

Despite your better judgement, you leaned in. Too ashamed and angry to stay calm; tears flowing freely down your face from the intensity of the loathing you currently felt towards him and yourself.

“You’d be doing me a fucking favor,” you said, choking the words out through your sob-heavy throat. Every bit of it the truth. “And I’m sure you’ll have a great time telling everyone where you sent me.”

“Vicious brat!” he shrilled, face distorted with malicious static that hovered around him like a storm. Then the chain and static disappeared as you collapsed to the floor. But the venom in his red eyes hurt you more than that chain ever could. Or at least that’s how you felt until he spoke next, the chill in his voice piercing you with every word. “Keep your distance from me if you know what’s good for you. If I catch you roaming the hall of my suite, it will be the last thing you ever do.”

Then he was gone, spiriting himself away in shadow. Leaving you to sob on the floor of your room.

Alone.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧     ✧     ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

tag list: @fairyv-ice, @wat4r, @midorichoco, @raynerrold, @krak-jj, @tremendoushearttaco, @redfoxwritesstuff, @chibistar45, @kaylopolis, @cutiebimbo, @lousypotatoes, @rfox1998, @cosmic-lavender, @stardustandbrimstone, @cherry-cola-100, @wonderlandangelsposts, @phamtasic, @velvette3, @sailorsmouth

[animehideout]

LOVE IS THE MOST TWISTED CURSE OF THEM ALL

Part 8

Gojo Satoru x Fem! Reader

Check out Part 9 here 🆕✨

Check out part 7 here

A/n: Hello! I'm back with another part, I hope I didn't make you wait for too long. Anyways, grab a snack and let's get into it since this part is kinda long ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

W.c: 4.4k+ words

Warnings: Not Proofread

Have a fun reading session 🫶🏻🤍

You sighed as you stood at the entrance of the room, the walls of the room seemed to close in as they faced the awkward reality of sharing it. With an annoyed tone you looked at Gojo who already started unpacking and said,

“Can you leave the room for a moment? I need to change!”

He looked back at you with a dismissive glance and retorted,

“Why would I? I thought I was your husband”

“Are you for fucking real” you scoffed.

“You can change here! I’m not dying to see your body anyway” he shrugged, without a warning he started unbuttoning his shirt in front of you.

You quickly looked away, not ready to see him shirtless. He began to unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants and that’s hit was your last straw.

You clenched your jaw, determined to not let him get under your skin, you snatched your pyjamas from your bag and shot back,

“Asshole! You’ve got no shame”

You stormed out of the room, heading to the bathroom, sneaking so no one can see you. Gojo was smirking to himself after managing in getting on your nerves again at least to some extent. Since you were in the bathroom, you stayed there for a bit, and took a warm shower just to wash the tiredness away. (note, gojo took a shower when Y/n was packing at home)

…..

With a deep breath, you walked inside again. As you entered, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his sight, he was shirtless, his hair falling down on his face, comfortably nestled on the bed, a self-satisfied grin played on his face.

“Really?” you muttered under your breath, an irritated edge to your voice.

“What? “

You ignored him and climbed onto the bed, keeping a clear boundary between you and him,

“Stay in your side of the bed and we won’t have any problems” you warned

“Oooh look at me I’m shaking with fear”

“Stay.in.your.fucking.side.Satoru”

He chuckled, deliberately stretching out his arms as if to test your patience,

“Relax princess! I’m not interested in crossing your precious territory”

You huffed in frustration, edging away from him,  pulling the blanket to cover yourself,

“Fine then, and can you put some shirt on I won’t be comfortable with you sleeping naked like that beside me”

“Geez you really need to chill and loosen up a bit, I’m used to sleeping naked, deal with that ”

“Whatever..” you mumbled and laid down .

Exhausted from the verbal sparring you finally fell silent both of you, making sure to turn off the lights. It was late anyway and you needed to sleep, but could you?

Backs facing each other, only the steady rhythm of your breathing is heard, but eyes still wide open, mind fully awake. The bed was warm, but t felt cold, you were in each other’s company yet felt so alone. That’s your truth, not only you but also Gojo Satoru. Maybe being the strongest served him to maintain that perfect image but no one really knows what’s hidden behind this perfectness.

Gojo’s Pov:

I laid beside her, staring at the darkness, it’s better than staring at her anyway. I can’t fall asleep, I won’t fall asleep even though I’m exhausted as fuck. She can’t catch me in that situation again, I won’t give her a single chance to think that I’m weak, vulnerable or scared by my night terrors that haunt me every night. Spending the coming days locked in this room with her at every night fall is a bitter pill to swallow. I’m not used to anyone sleeping beside me, especially not her. She can’t find out, she’ll use that against me, and I won’t let it happen.

End Of Pov

As the night proceeded, Gojo looked behind, stealing a glance at you, you weren’t moving only your steady breathing is heard. He leaned in closer to you, to get a better look and make sure you’re asleep before he goes to sleep himself. He inched closer, peeking over your shoulders to look at your face. Your eyes were closed, hair strands falling on your face, lips pouting. Your small hands clutching onto the pillow, your chest rising and falling in  a rhythmic pattern. His eyes traced the delicate features of your face, soft features that were the complete contrast of your harsh attitude towards him. Unable to resist the nagging curiosity, he found himself leaning in closer and closer, his face only inches away from yours, completely lost in your sleeping figure. He never paid attention to any of your details before but now he does. His fingers tried to move to tuck that hair strand that was tickling your nose, but he stopped midway. Realization struck  him like a lightening bolt, he blinked as if he was awakening from a trance.

“The fuck Am I doing?” he said to himself.

He swiftly scooted back to his side, pulling the blanket over him again, shaking his head in disbelief of his own actions.

“Guess I crossed her imaginary line that she drew between us” he added to himself.

Y/n Pov:

I was so sleepy, so I closed my eyes waiting for sleep to just take me. But I couldn’t, my mind is a busy place, crowded with thoughts that made drifting off almost impossible. The room was silent but inside me was loud, noisy. Suddenly, I could feel the subtle shift in the mattress. “Is he still awake?” I thought to myself. I thought he was going to use the bathroom but no even with my eyes still closed, I sensed his presence, drawing nearer to me. Every muscle in my body tensed up, clutching onto my pillow tighter “Is this the end? Is he gonna strangle me in my sleep?” I thought to myself again. My eyes firmly shut, waiting for any action, but all what I can feel is his hot breath on my face. A shiver run down my spine. Too caught in the paradox of the situation, why would he watch me while I sleep? Is he dreaming? Long moments of an unspoken tension, got me twisted, unsure of his intentions, unsure of what’s between us. I can feel him backing away from me, finally relaxing my body, but my mind took another direction, and what I’m sure of, is that it’s impossible to fall asleep tonight.

End Of Pov

That was right, none of you fell asleep that night. Your backs turned to each other, patiently waiting for the dawn to break so you can just leave your bed.

………

You  already foreseen the awkwardness once both of you are awake and leave the bed and you wanted to escape that. You quickly glanced at him, the blanket wasn’t covering all of him, and you got to see is his back, his muscular back. Your eyes swiftly travelled from his back, shoulders, neck and finally his undercut. You carefully slid out from beneath the covers, the soft creaking of the mattress filled the room. Silently, you gathered your clothes avoiding any unnecessary noise that might draw his attention to you. Without looking back, you slid out of the room, closing the door behind you, making your way to the bathroom. A shower would definitely refresh you and get you ready for the day, even thought you were struggling to keep your eyes open.

Meanwhile back in the room, Gojo turned to lay on his back, his arms behind his head, watching the ceiling  while sun rays leaked through the window, he wanted to sleep since now you weren’t in the room, but he has got a long day of work waiting ahead.

*time skip to breakfast time*

All of you were gathered around the table in the common room eating your breakfast. You , your husband Gojo, Nanami, Principal Yaga, Mei Mei and all of your students.

Both you and Satoru fighting to keep your eye lids open, barely engaging or even catching up to the conversation.

“Satoru, y/n! are you even listening?” asked Principal Yaga.

The way he called you, woke you up from your awake slumber.

“hm?” you said in union.

“Geez sensei! You look tired? Are you okay?” asked Yuuji directing the question to both of you.

“yeah fine!” you said in unison.

“had a long night huh?” said Nobara

Both of your eyes widened, Gojo almost choking on his drink.

“I mean, it’s a new place and the bed mattress is kinda hard for the back… I struggeled to fall asleep too when I first moved here” she added blushing trying to fix the misunderstanding tha she caused by that innocent question she asked.

But Mei Mei insisted on misunderstanding, she kept on glaring at you, her hand tightly holding her cup of coffee, thinking that both of you had sex.

“And I thought I couldn’t hate you more Y/n” she mumbled to herself under her breath, knowing that she’d spend the rest of her day thinking, scheming how she’d take her revenge.

“Satoru and Nanami, meet me in my office after breakfast, you’ve a got a mission” ordered principal Yaga.

Both of them nodded, and headed to his office straight after they finished eating.

You had class with the 1st years today and you had free time in the evening so you all what you were thinking about is taking a long ass nap after teaching and that what kept you going for the day.

You students were there in the field waiting for you. You headed to the weaponry room to grab the ones that you’ll use for today’s lesson.

“The famous Y/n! having a good time huh? Enjoying your time with your husband? I see your relationship evolved!” started Mei Mei taking you by surprise.

“Mei Mei? What are you doing here?”

“Came to see you of course!”

“I don’t see any reason for that, besides I’m working right now!”

“Oh of course right! You gotta do something and contribute to the Jujutsu world in the easiest way possible”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Well don’t get me wrong but you’re enjoying the luxury life aren’t you? Something you weren’t used to?”

“Stop speaking in riddles!”

“Having a rich, handsome husband that brought you up from the shitty life of yours, working here locked inside, teaching some martial arts moves that everyone already knows, while others are fighting outside to protect you.. What could be more pathetic than that?” she said in an offensive tone.

You were clearly confused, not knowing what she meant exactly but protecting you.

“The hell are you talking about Mei Mei? Are you that desperate for a morning argument?” you spat back.

“No no sweetheart! I’m spitting facts that’s all”

“Well I hate to break it to you, but those are not facts, they’re just bullshit that you like to create.. as always! I’m doing my job here as a teacher, and I’m not waiting for anyone to protect me..I can totally protect myself”

“Oh I doubt that, since Principal Yaga assigned all of us to watch over you… to be honest, I hate it, I didn’t wanna do it. Because you see, I don’t care if you get hurt or not ..but just so you know that everyone here is stronger than you even your students”

“I don’t understand! Why would he assign you to watch over me?” you asked genuinely confused.

“Oh poor girl! Your lovely husband didn’t tell you that he’ll protect you from to Toji Zenin who’s scouring every corner of Tokyo to find you”

“Huh? Who’s Toji Zenin?”

“Well! When he catches you, you can ask him in person!” she said and then left.

You furrowed your brows, completely perplexed, who’s Toji, why would he search for you everywhere? Why principal Yaga assigned them to protect you? And from what exactly?

All these questions burned your throat, but who’s gonna answer them?

You grabbed the weapons and headed to the field, Yuuji, Megumi and Nobara, already there bickering as always.

“Hey guys! So today we’re learning about the usage of arrows! Of course later on you’ll use your jujutsu energy and transform it into the arrow” you started.

....

Finally break time after three hours of teaching. As they started walking away, you cleared your throat maybe Megumi knows something

“Megumi-Chan!” you called,

“Hm? Yes sensei?”

“Um was wondering if I could talk to you for a second!”

He nodded and walked back towards you, you had to many questions but you didn’t want to overwhelm him, he was only a student so you picked up a one important question, principal Yaga should be the one answering your questions anyway.

“Who is Toji Zenin?” you asked

Megumi’s eyes widened, not expecting this sudden question. Air got caught in his lungs, not sure how to answer it.

“It’s –Um…he’s um-” he stuttered, hesitant to tell you.

“It’s okay if you don’t know him!” you smiled.

“He’s my father” he blurted out.

“F-father?”

Why on earth would Megumi’s father search for you? And if he’s his father then how come he doesn’t know his own son’s teachers?

“Your question was very sudden! Is there any motive behind it?” he asked in confusion.

The students have no idea about Toji Zenin breaking loose and searching everywhere just to kill you, they’re as confused as you. You hesitated to ask more questions since he seemed uncomfortable and you didn’t want him to overthink anything so with a sweet smile you said,

“Nah t-there’s no motive! It was just a simple question,  please don’t worry about it continue with your day!”

He nodded, sensing that there’s something off about it. He hasn’t met his father in so long and it got him wondering.

You couldn’t handle it so you headed to principal Yaga’s office. You’re one the teachers and its your right to get informed about anything just like the other teachers.

“Yaga Sensei?” you started knocking on the door.

“Yes Y/n come in!’

“Sorry for bothering you but I had to ask some things!”

“Sure anything go ahead!”

“Why would Megumi’s father search for me everywhere?”

Principal Yaga cleared his throat, shifting in his chair, but insisted on hiding the truth.

“Why would he look for you? Who told you that? No one is looking for you y/n!”

“If no one is looking for me then why’d you assign the rest of teachers to protect me?”

A sudden surge of tension ran through him, the air in the room seemed to thicken, he found himself obliged to tell you since you already know so much. He took a deep breath and said,

“Who told you that Y/n?”

“Mei Mei did! But why doest it matter? Why did you keep me in the dark, I’m a teacher here as well”

“Mei Mei you say? Alright! Take a seat please!”

You did as he said, patiently waiting for him to explain. But would he reveal the whole truth after getting orders from the higher ups that he needs to conceal it? You don’t even know your full potential yet.

“Toji Zenin! He’s known as a sorcerers haunter. He was locked up after committing many crimes, his last crime was killing a student Riko Amanai, she was the potential star plasma vessel. But she got shot by him. It was a big loss for the Jujutsu World. Gojo found him and brought him to his trial, he was locked away but we got information that he managed to escape, we don’t know who’s his next target is, he’s targeting people with potential, strong sorcerers…”

“Then I’m supposed to be safe, since you said he’s targeting strong sorcerers and I’m no sorcerers, so why would I need any protection here?”

“The protection is needed for all of us, especially students ! it’s not he’s got a personal issue against you, he doesn’t he just enjoys killing, that’s his job”

“I see, you said that student got shot, so he’s using a gun instead of Jujutsu technique?”

“He’s not a sorcerer actually! He’s a normal man with 0 jujutsu energy.. but he’s very strong”

“Oh o-okay! Is there any way I can help?”

“You’re already doing a lot, teaching your students how to defend themselves against their enemies is a lot of work”

You nodded, completely swallowing his words not knowing that the full truth in kept hidden.

“There’s no need to worry about anything Y/n! but one thing don’t tell your students anything! We don’t want them to stress out! School is about learning while having fun”

“Sure” you said politely, then excused yourself and headed to your room.

You changed into comfier clothes and rolled down on your bed, taking the whole space, even Gojo’s side. You stared at the ceiling, why would he tell you now and not earlier, why you’re the last one to know, are they underestimating your contribution to their world and see you as someone who’s not capable of protecting others? It made you sad, because you thought you were doing great.

“But I’m no sorcerer why would they count on me” you mumbled to yourself, slowly drifting to sleep.

……….

*Timeskip*

You woke up from your slumber to a dark room, your head pounding but at least you got to make it up for staying awake last night.

“For how long did I sleep? 11pm !!? shit” you said to yourself.

You looked beside you and there was Satoru, sleeping.

...

*flashback*

Gojo’s Pov:

I returned to Jujutsu High at 8pm, it was a long hectic day and it drained me to my core, I let Nanami do the rest of the work in informing Yaga Sensei, my social energy was fully spent and I didn’t want to talk to anyone. It wasn’t a tough mission, I was just out with Nanami looking for any trace of Toji, we were trying to find him and catching him before he commits any crime, but it was useless, he’s like a ghost, each one of his move is calculated, he knows where to hide so we’ll wait for him till he comes to us. I was struggling to keep myself awake, ate all the sweets I can find but I seriously needed to sleep. I got to Jujutsu high, took a warm shower to wash away today’s tiredness, hoping that Y/n fell asleep. It would be a torture if I had to wait a more couple hours for her to sleep before I do, but for my luck she was already sleeping, light snores escaped her slightly mouth. I dried myself, put on a grey sweatpants and joined her on bed making sure to not cross any lines tonight. It was easy for me to close my eyes and sleep without worrying about her next to me.

End of Pov.

*End Of Flashback*

“Oh he’s here” you said to yourself.

Now you were fully awake for sleeping all these long hours, it was midnight what could you do? Everyone is sleeping, but you can’t go to sleep, you’ve had enough, more than enough actually.

“Ugh I just ruined my sleeping schedule-ahh” you gasped when Satoru spoke out of the blue.

“I do-don’t …No sensei I-”

“Is he having a bad dream again ?” you mumbled.

Taking a closer look to him, just like last time, panting, breathing heavily and sweating. But you’re not gonna wake him up again, you don’t wanna get slammed down by him on the bed like that night.

“I don’t wa-nna k-ill him..my f-friend, G-geto”

“Geto? Who’s Geto?” you thought to yourself.

He got more disturbed in his sleep, tossing and turning and it freaked you out, you really wanted to wake him up and set him free from what he’s seeing but you decided to not get involved this time, so you put on your slippers and tiptoed outside.

Finally some fresh air, watching the tree leaves as they danced to the night breeze. The stars above you completed the scenery. Luckily you were kind of away from Tokyo’s light, away from light pollution, making you catch a glimpse of the stars that decorated the sky. Your eyes widened in wonder as you saw a star cutting through the darkness. Your breath caught in excitement, an involuntary gasp left your lips. Time seemed to momentarily freeze, bringing back your habit of making a wish.

You closed your eyes, putting your hands together and whispered,

“I wish I become something! Something special and not a useless person”

Funny, because everything seemed to change except you. It was the same wish since you were a kid, patiently waiting for it to come true.  

“Can’t sleep?” said a soft voice from behind, making your eyes shot open.

“N-nanami? Oh god, you scared me” you stuttered, placing your hand on your chest.

“Sorry for that” he chuckled

“I see you’re still awake! You can’t sleep either?” you asked

“Yeah, the night is long and it got boring..what about you?”

“Um- I had a long nap and woke up a few minutes ago so-”

“Oh I see! Stargazing?”

“Yep what’s better than that? My favorite night activity” you chuckled

“Why are you here alone?”

“Now I’m not” you smiled, keeping an eye contact with him.

“Right, you got me” he said and got closer to you.

“Um so how was your mission today, I hope it wasn’t that tiring?”

He paused before speaking trying to find a good lie, he can’t tell you that he’s been out looking for the man who’s trying to kill you. Even though he knows that now you know who’s Toji Zenin is, since Principal Yaga told him.

“Yeah not tiring.. we were just exorcising some curses at a school as usual.. that’s all”

You could sense his discomfort, so you tried to change the subject since he clearly doesn’t wanna talk about work.

“Oh alright! Good luck with that..Um Nanami!”

“Hm yea?”

“I was wondering if you know someone named Geto I guess”

You couldn’t help the curiosity, you needed to know who was this man, that was haunting Gojo in his sleep.

“Geto Suguru, he was my senior in high school!”

“Oh really? Um- was- was he a bad person?”

“Not really! But we don’t know what got into him. He was Gojo’s best friend, inseparable. They studied together and went on missions together. Till one day Geto chose to change parts and follow his own ideology!”

“Ideology? What kind of ideology?”

“Something that contrasts with Jujutsu principals, we live to protect the weak those normal humans that Geto referred to as monkeys”

“Oww monkeys? So I’m a monkey! That’s kinda offensive, since you don’t get to choose to be born as a normal human or a sorcerer…I hope this Geto doesn’t find me then-”

“Nah he won’t”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because he’s dead! Gojo killed him”

You froze in place, so were you sleeping beside a murderer? Why would he kill his bestfriend?

“W-what?” you said in disbelief.

“He had to, he was forced to do it, to fulfill his duty as a jujutsu sorcerer is to eliminate the threat, Geto was a threat to our rules and principals”

“how?”

“He killed his own family and  village, after that he started a cult, no longer defending the weak but rather killing what he considered monkeys”

“I see, the complete opposite ideology of Toji Zenin, one is killing sorcerer and the other killing non sorcerers.. What a world we live in” you pointed out.

“True! It was so hard for Gojo to get work done! It destroyed him, but he knew it was all for good so he just did it…Sometimes you have to make the right decisions even if they feel wrong! That’s what  being a sorcerer is” he explained

You nodded and looked down, now points connecting, now you know why Geto is always present in Gojo’s dreams, cuz once you kill someone, they never really leave. You kinda felt bad for him, you can’t imagine yourself killing anyone, let alone your bestfriend even if they turned evil, and even though you have no bestfriend. That same nightmare must be haunting him for years.

“Are you cold?” he asked

“yeah kinda, it’s chilly here”

“here you go!” he said  placing his jacket on your shoulders.

You faces were close to each other and you couldn’t help but stare at him. Why did you have to marry Gojo maybe marrying Nanami would be much easier and maybe he’d be your first love, he’s a sorcerer as well, so maybe he’s able to break your curse too. But out of everyone, it had to be Gojo Satoru, the cold,  unempathetic and rude towards you. But we don’t always get what we want.

His eyes didn’t leave you as well, he was so close to your face, he could feel the tension between both of you. But he backed away

“I’m so sorry” he apologized

Nanami is a respectful man, if you weren’t married then he’d definitely go for it and kiss your lips, but you’re the wife of Gojo Satoru and his principles and values won’t allow him to do that.

“Th-ats okay” you whispered.

Too busy in your thoughts while stargazing you didn’t notice Gojo’s silent presence, obsecured in the dark behind both of you. He was there the whole time, heard your whole conversation.His nightmare woke him up, the room was too narrow for him that he had to take a breath outside only to find you with Nanami. He wasn’t sure how to feel about it, but it bothered him to see Nanami’s face so close to his wife’s face, or the way he was acting like a gentleman towards you. He could feel his stomach drop, clenching his fists and jaw as blood started coursing faster in his veins.

He didn’t know how to explain what he felt but it’s like something was breaking inside him. And you bringing up Geto didn’t make things any better. Maybe staying in that nightmare was a lot easier than this.

He stopped himself from stepping between both of you and push Nanami away from your side, he knew he would do something he would regret and would end up waking up the whole school, so he stood his ground, deciding to not beat the shit out of Nanami cuz it would feel weird and uncomfortable for everyone,  he was convincing himself that you and him hated each other and what’s between you is not just an arranged marriage but a battleground.

Tag list ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡:

@smolbeanzzz @khaleesihavilliard @tqd4455 @black-swan-blog27 @certainduckanchor @haitanibros0007 @goldenjoyboyy @lorako123 @kunikuzushisbeloved @saiyara05 @numblytemporary @soulofendlessbook @bookswillfindyouaway @sukunasleftkneecap @ryumurin @twitabread @f1uveryysblog @sleepyyammy @olivianyx @animechick555 @allofffmypeaches @inlovewithlondonn @tw0fvced @markleeisdabestdrug @blvckxb3vutii @bol0-de-morang0 @ghostfacefricker6969

@eolivy

@caycaysblogg

@butterskyy

@myloveforharrystylesneverenough

@sanriosatoru

@shervinss

@ioriorigami

@kiki17483

@maskedpacific

@iantheandmargaux

@ssetsuka

@sm3156

[lila-lou]

✨ His only exception - Pt. 18/? ✨

Summary: 12 months ago, Butcher went above and beyond to have you join his team. You had a simple office job at Supe Affairs. The same thing every day, working from 9 to 5 and watching Butcher and his team defeat one renegade after another. One evening, however, something changed.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only! Something that could count as rape, Smut, Language, kinda cheating, dominant Ben, Ben being Ben - WELL, HE´S A WARNING HIMSELF

Word Count: 6158

A/N: This is part 18 of “His only exeption”.

English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

As the rest of the team returned home, Annie took it upon herself to search for you, knocking softly on Ben's door.

"Hey, have you seen (Y/N)?", she called out, her voice muffled through the wooden door. "I've been looking for her everywhere".

Ben's annoyed groan reverberated through the room as he responded to Annie's inquiry. "Fuck off, she's sleeping", he barked, his voice louder than intended, causing you to shift slightly in his arms.

Annie frowned at his curt response, concern evident in her voice. "Is everything okay in there?", she asked, her tone tinged with worry.

Ben sighed, his irritation palpable as he gently brushed your hair to soothe you back to sleep. "She's fine, just exhausted", he muttered, his voice low and gruff. "Now, if you don't mind, I suggest you fucking leave before I tear you apart".

Annie recoiled slightly at his threat, but she knew better than to push further. She backed away from the door, leaving you and Ben in peace.

Ben stubbed out his joint, his movements careful as he stood up with you cradled in his arms. With a soft grunt, he made his way over to his bed, settling you down gently on the mattress before tucking the blankets around you snugly.

Ben pulled on just some sweatpants before heading out to the kitchen, leaving you sleeping peacefully in his room. In the hallway, he found Annie and Hughie, who had been eagerly awaiting his return.

“What?”, Ben snapped, his tone dripping with irritation as he glared at them.

Annie raised an eyebrow at his hostility. “Just checking on (Y/N)”, she replied calmly. “We heard some commotion earlier”.

Ben scoffed, his lips twisting into a sneer. “She’s fine”, he retorted dismissively. “Now get out of my sight before I decide to do something you’ll regret”.

Hughie exchanged a worried glance with Annie, sensing the tension in the air. “We just wanted to make sure everything’s okay”, he added, his voice hesitant.

Ben’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “I said she’s fine”, he growled, his patience wearing thin.

Annie couldn't help but match Ben's attitude with her own. "Geez, Ben, no need to be such a grump", she retorted. "We're just trying to make sure our friend is okay. If that's too much for you to handle, maybe you should take a chill pill".

Ben's jaw clenched at her sass, but before he could respond, Hughie stepped in, trying to diffuse the tension. "Come on, Annie, let's give him some space", he suggested. "We'll check in with (Y/N) later".

With that, Annie and Hughie turned around, leaving Ben alone with his thoughts and his simmering anger.

Ben grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the kitchen before retreating back to his bedroom. He took a seat in his chair, propped his feet up on his desk, and started to drink, his gaze fixed on your small, naked body sleeping peacefully on his bed, wrapped in his sheets.

As he watched you, a mixture of emotions flooded through him—anger, desire, protectiveness. He took a swig of whiskey, the burn of alcohol easing the tension in his muscles as he tried to make sense of his conflicting feelings.

Despite his gruff exterior, deep down, Ben couldn't deny the sense of warmth that washed over him as he watched you sleep. You may drive him crazy at times, but there was something about the sight of you, vulnerable and innocent in slumber, that stirred something inside him.

He took another sip of whiskey, the amber liquid warming him from the inside out as he allowed himself a rare moment of quiet reflection, his eyes never leaving your form as you slept soundly in his bed.

As you stirred awake, a cold shiver ran down your spine, pulling you out of your slumber. Blinking away the remnants of sleep, you rubbed your eyes and glanced around the room, feeling the chill of the air against your naked skin. The blanket that had once covered you was now barely clinging to your body, leaving you exposed and vulnerable.

Your gaze fell upon Ben, who sat in his chair with a nearly empty bottle of whiskey in his hand. His eyes were fixed on you, his expression unreadable as he watched you stir.

A sense of unease washed over you as you realized you were practically naked in front of him, your body exposed to his intense scrutiny. You quickly reached for the blanket, pulling it up to cover yourself as best as you could, feeling a flush of embarrassment creeping into your cheeks.

"Ben?", you called out softly, your voice tinged with uncertainty as you met his gaze.

"Mhmm?", Ben mumbled, tearing his gaze away from your body to meet your eyes.

You sat up slightly, your movements slow and labored, exhaustion evident in every line of your body. With a voice barely above a whisper, you spoke, your words barely audible due to the soreness in your throat.

"Why are you still awake?", you asked.

Ben's jaw clenched slightly as he regarded you, his expression unreadable. "Couldn't sleep", he grumbled, his tone gruff.

You bit your lip, a nervous habit in the presence of his intense gaze. "Come to bed, Ben", you whispered.

But he shook his head, his jaw still tight. "I'll stay here", he replied curtly, his voice betraying none of the emotions swirling inside him.

You sighed softly, feeling the weight of exhaustion settling in your bones as you stood up slowly, the blanket still draped around you. With determined steps, you made your way over to where Ben sat, his eyes following your every move.

Gently, you reached out and took the bottle from his hand, placing it aside as you stood between his legs, the warmth of his body seeping into yours.

Ben's hand sneaked under the blanket, pulling it lazily aside to get a perfect view of your naked body. His eyes trailed over your skin, and he couldn't help but notice the blue bruises covering your hip bones, evidence of his roughness from earlier.

His thumb brushed over the marks as he held you by your hip, feeling the goosebumps rise on your skin. Without a word, you climbed onto his lap, straddling him, and pressed your naked breasts against his stomach as you hugged him tightly.

"I'm cold", you whispered softly, your voice barely audible as you buried your face in the crook of his neck.

Ben didn't push you away, but he didn't exactly reciprocate the hug either. He tolerated your actions, his body tense beneath yours as you sought warmth in his embrace.

"You should go back to sleep", he muttered. "I'll be fine".

You sighed softly, knowing it was pointless to argue with him. You could sense the underlying turmoil within him, and you wished there was something you could do to ease his burden.

"I'm not leaving you alone", you insisted quietly, your arms still wrapped around him. "Not when you're like this".

Ben's jaw tightened at your words, but he didn't protest. He simply sat there, allowing you to hold onto him.

You chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood. "Well, your radioactive chest does have its perks", you teased, a faint smile playing on your lips. "Like providing me with some much-needed warmth".

Ben huffed a small laugh, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. "Guess it's good for something", he conceded.

You settled against him, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath you.

As you drifted back to sleep, Ben lay an arm around you, pulling the blanket over your back, his touch gentle despite the weight of his exhaustion. He let out a heavy sigh.

After a while, Ben carefully lifted you from his lap, cradling you in his arms as he carried you back to the bed. With a tenderness that belied his usual demeanor, he laid you down gently on the mattress, ensuring you were comfortable before joining you.

Curling up beside you, he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you close to his chest.

With a final sigh, he closed his eyes, allowing himself to drift into a deep and much-needed sleep, knowing that you were safe and sound by his side.

The next morning, you stirred awake to find Ben still sleeping soundly beside you. His features softened in slumber, the lines of tension from the previous night smoothed out in the light of morning.

You couldn't help but admire the peaceful expression on his face, a stark contrast to his usual hardened exterior. With a small smile, you gently brushed a strand of hair away from his forehead, watching as he shifted slightly in his sleep, but didn't wake.

You carefully slipped out of bed, pulling one of Ben's shirts over your body for modesty as you made your way out of his room, trying not to disturb his peaceful slumber. The fabric hung loose around your frame, offering a sense of comfort as you tiptoed out of the room, leaving him to rest undisturbed.

You ran into Hughie and Annie in the hallway, who seemed relieved to see you up and about.

“Hey, (Y/N), everything okay?”, Hughie asked, his tone laced with concern.

You nodded, feeling a slight tremor in your hands as you spoke. "Yeah, I'm feeling much better now", you replied, your voice still hoarse. "Ben actually took great care of me".

Annie and Hughie exchanged surprised glances, clearly not expecting to hear that. "Really?", Annie asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

You nodded again, offering them a small smile. "Yeah, really", you affirmed, hoping they would drop the subject.

As you stood there in the hallway, Annie and Hughie seemed to be processing your words, their expressions a mix of surprise and confusion.

Annie spoke up first, her tone still skeptical. "Well, I guess that's a surprise", she remarked.

Hughie nodded slowly, seeming unsure of what to make of the situation. "Yeah, I guess so", he murmured, his gaze shifting between you and Annie.

You could sense their disbelief, but you knew what had transpired between you and Ben. Despite everything, he saved you.

You shifted slightly, feeling the need to break the tension in the air. "Anyway, I think I'm going to go take a shower", you announced.

Annie nodded, her expression still wary. "Yeah, sounds like a good idea", she replied, her tone cautious.

With a nod, you headed towards the bathroom, leaving Annie and Hughie behind in the hallway.

As you stood in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on breakfast, you heard footsteps approaching from the hallway. You turned to see Ben emerging from his room, his presence immediately catching Butcher's attention.

Butcher's gaze narrowed as he watched Ben enter the kitchen, his expression unreadable.

You tried to act normal, offering a casual "Good morning, Ben", but he only grumbled in response, grabbing a pancake before retreating back to his room.

Butcher raised an eyebrow at Ben's behavior, then turned his attention to you and Annie. "What's up with him?", he asked, his tone suspicious.

You shrugged, exchanging a glance with Annie. "Who knows?", you replied, trying to brush it off. "He's probably just not a morning person".

Annie nodded in agreement, though her expression hinted at concern. "Yeah, probably", she added, though her eyes lingered on Ben's closed door.

As Butcher scrutinized Ben, he remarked, "His mood's worse than usual".

MM chimed in, "Yeah, he's always a prick, but today he's on another level".

As everyone began to eat, the conversation turned to the urgent matter at hand: finding Homelander. Ideas and strategies were tossed around the table as pancakes disappeared from the plates.

Butcher took the lead, outlining a plan that involved gathering more intel and coordinating with their allies. Hughie and Annie listened intently, offering their insights and suggestions.

As the night settled in and everyone drifted off to sleep, you found yourself unable to shake the unease that had settled over you since Ben's distant behavior earlier in the day. With a quiet resolve, you made your way to his room.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you reached his door, and you hesitated for a moment before mustering the courage to knock softly, hoping he would hear you.

The door creaked open, revealing Ben standing there, his expression more annoyed than you had ever seen it. "What?", he grumbled, his tone sharp with irritation.

You swallowed hard, feeling a lump form in your throat at his harsh demeanor. "I-I just wanted to check on you", you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper.

Ben's scowl softened slightly at your words, but his irritation still lingered. "I'm fine", he muttered curtly but stepping back to let you into the room.

You hesitated for a moment before stepping inside, feeling a sense of unease settling over you in the tense atmosphere. "Are you sure?", you asked softly.

Ben's jaw clenched as he turned away from you and reached for his joint on the desk.

"I said I'm fine", he snapped and lit up the joint, inhaling deeply before exhaling a cloud of smoke.

You watched him silently, unsure of how to proceed in the face of his hostility.

Ben glanced over his shoulder, his eyes narrowing as he noticed you still standing there.

"What are you waiting for?", he sneered. "You gonna keep standing there looking stupid, or are you gonna do something useful and get naked?".

You were taken aback by his blunt request, but you tried to overplay it with a hint of sarcasm.

"Wow, Ben, you really know how to charm a girl", you muttered, your tone laced with irritation. "There are definitely more romantic ways to start this".

You tried to keep your voice steady, masking the slight hint of anger bubbling beneath the surface.

Ben chuckled, the sound low and rough. "Romantic, huh? You think I give a fuck about romance?", he retorted. "Just get on with it or get out".

You bristled at his dismissive attitude, but you knew arguing with him would only make things worse. With a resigned sigh, you began to undress, feeling a mix of frustration and resignation settling in the pit of your stomach.

As you stripped off your clothes, Ben's gaze remained fixed on you.

Once you were completely naked, you stood before him, feeling exposed and vulnerable under his gaze. "Happy now?", you muttered.

Ben's lips curled into a smirk, his eyes darkening with desire. "Ecstatic", he replied sarcastically. "Now get over here".

Reluctantly, you approached him.

Ben leaned back in his chair, a smirk playing on his lips as he watched you approach. "Get on your knees", he ordered, his voice commanding.

You hesitated for a moment, your throat still sore from the previous night's rough encounter. "Ben, my throat…", you whimpered softly.

"I don't care", he replied curtly. "You wanted to be here, now do as you're told".

Reluctantly, you sank to your knees before him, feeling a sense of resignation wash over you.

As you knelt before him, Ben's expression darkened, his impatience evident as he watched you. With a rough gesture, he grabbed your hair, pulling you closer to him.

"Open your mouth", he commanded.

You complied, parting your lips to accommodate him, feeling a mixture of apprehension and resignation washing over you, as he guided himself into your mouth.

With a determined effort to ignore the pain in your throat, you began to suck him, your lips wrapping tightly around his hardness. You focused on the rhythmic movement, trying to find a rhythm that pleased him. His grip tightened on your hair, guiding your movements as he groaned softly in satisfaction.

Despite the discomfort, you did your best to pleasure him, swirling your tongue around his shaft and taking him deeper into your mouth with each stroke. You could feel him growing harder in response, his breaths becoming ragged as pleasure coursed through his body.

"Keep going", Ben instructed, his voice low and husky as he took a drag from his joint, his eyes half-lidded with pleasure. "Don't stop".

You nodded obediently, your focus solely on pleasing him as you continued to work your mouth along his length. The smell of his smoke mixed with the scent of his arousal, filling the air around you as you lost yourself in the task at hand.

As you continued to suck him, you used your tongue to swirl around his shaft, alternating between gentle licks and more insistent strokes. You took him deep into your mouth, feeling the weight of him on your tongue as you moved back and forth.

Meanwhile, Ben leaned back in his chair, his eyes closed in bliss as he enjoyed the sensation of your mouth on him. He took another drag from his joint, the smoke curling lazily around him as he savored the sensation of your lips and tongue.

With a rough tug, Ben pulled you to your feet, his grip firm as he turned you to face his desk. As he pushed you down, your torso laying on the surface, he stubbed out the joint with a grunt.

"Enough of that", he growled. "Time for the real fun".

You braced yourself against the desk, a mixture of anticipation and apprehension coursing through you.

Ben, in no mood for gentleness, swiftly pulled down his sweatpants.

With a forceful thrust, Ben entered you roughly, causing you to yank forward and emit a sharp whine of discomfort.

"Take it", he growled.

As Ben squeezed your already bruised hips, you couldn't help but whimper again, the pain shooting through your body like a jolt of electricity.

"Fuck", he muttered, his grip tightening as he began to move with relentless force.

You bit your lip, trying to stifle another whimper, as the intensity of his thrusts sent waves of discomfort and pleasure coursing through you.

"Ben, please", you gasped, the discomfort becoming unbearable as your hipbones met the edge of the desk with each of his forceful thrusts. "Slow down".

But Ben ignored your plea, his movements growing even more aggressive as he continued to pound into you.

"Ben, I said slow down!", you exclaimed, your voice tinged with frustration and pain. "You're hurting me".

But Ben only grunted in response.

You clenched your teeth, trying to endure the discomfort as best as you could, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to bear.

"Ben, please", you pleaded, your voice cracking with emotion. "I can't take it like this. Slow down".

His grip on your hips tightened even more, and you winced at the added pressure.

But this time, your words seemed to break through his trance. He paused, his expression clouded with irritation.

"Stop whining", he snapped. "You wanted this, didn't you?".

Your heart sank at his callous words, the pain in your body matching the ache in your heart.

Using the moment of pause, you summoned all your strength to push him away, shoving him back with all your might. He stumbled backward, surprise flickering across his face as he caught sight of your teary eyes and trembling legs.

“What the fuck?”, he exclaimed, his tone incredulous as he regained his balance.

“You’re a fucking asshole, Ben!”, you snapped, your voice laced with anger and frustration.

As you quickly began to dress yourself, your hands shaking with anger and hurt, Ben followed suit.

"What's your fucking problem?", he growled, his voice dripping with irritation.

“I’m serious, Ben”, you said firmly, your voice trembling with emotion. “If I tell you to stop or to slow down, you have to listen!”.

Ben scoffed, his expression darkening with disdain. “You think you can tell me what to do?”, he retorted.

“What the hell is wrong with you today?”, you demanded, frustration boiling beneath the surface of your words.

Ben’s jaw clenched, his gaze hardening as he met your eyes. “Nothing’s wrong with me”, he snapped.

"You hurt me, Ben!", you exclaimed, your voice tinged with both anger and hurt.

Without another word, Ben stormed out of the room, leaving you standing there, feeling a mix of frustration and betrayal. After a moment of hesitation, you gathered your things and left the his room.

About an hour later, Annie knocked at your door just as you snuggled under your blanket, trying to find some comfort after the tense encounter with Ben.

"Hey, (Y/N), are you okay?", Annie's voice sounded concerned through the door.

You sighed heavily, feeling drained from the emotional rollercoaster of the day. "Yeah, I'm fine", you replied, your voice muffled by the blanket. "Just had a little disagreement with Ben, that's all".

Annie's voice was filled with sympathy. "I heard you yelling", she said softly. "Do you want to talk about it?".

You hesitated for a moment before responding. "No, it's okay", you said, your voice shivering slightly. "I just need some time alone".

Annie paused for a moment before responding. "Alright, but if you need anything, I'm here", she said reassuringly. "Take care of yourself, okay?".

As you curled up under the blanket, the events of the day replayed in your mind like a relentless loop.

Anger, frustration, and hurt swirled within you, making it difficult to find peace. Ben's dismissive attitude and rough treatment lingered in your thoughts, leaving you feeling vulnerable and betrayed.

As Ben made his way to the next strip club, his mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. The events of the evening with you lingered in the back of his mind, but he pushed them aside, seeking distraction in the familiar chaos of the club. The dim lights, pounding music, and scantily clad dancers provided a temporary escape from his troubles, allowing him to lose himself in the moment.

Ben settled into a plush couch in the front row, his eyes scanning the stage as the music pulsed through the club. The air was thick with anticipation, and he relished the freedom to indulge his desires without restraint. The supes on stage moved with an otherworldly grace, their movements captivating and hypnotic.

As the first dancer approached, Ben's gaze locked onto her, his jaw tensing with anticipation. Here, in the midst of the exotic and alluring, he could forget about everything else, if only for a fleeting moment.

As a girl approached him, her eyes lighting up with recognition, a sultry smile played on her lips. She moved closer, her body swaying with a mesmerizing rhythm as she leaned in towards Ben.

"Soldier Boy", she purred, her voice low and seductive. "What can I do for you tonight?".

Ben's lips curved into a smirk as he looked her up and down, his gaze lingering on her curves. "Just entertain me", he replied, his voice laced with a hint of command. "Show me what you can do".

The supe girl nodded eagerly, her movements becoming even more enticing as she danced before him, eager to please him in every way possible.

The girl moved closer to Ben, her body swaying in time with the music as she straddled his lap. Her hands traced tantalizing patterns along his chest, sending shivers down his spine as she leaned in close, her breath hot against his ear.

With practiced precision, she began to grind against him, her movements fluid and hypnotic. Each sway of her hips sent waves of pleasure coursing through him, his senses overwhelmed by the sensation of her soft skin against his.

As the music pulsed around them, the supe girl's movements grew more intense, her hands roaming boldly over his body as she pressed herself against him.

The girl leaned in close, her lips brushing against his ear as she whispered seductively, "You know, Soldier Boy, I can give you so much more backstage… I want you to fuck me… hard".

Her words sent a surge of desire coursing through Ben's veins as he looked into her eyes, his own dark with anticipation. "Lead the way", he growled, his voice low and husky with desire.

With a sultry smile, the supe girl took his hand and led him towards the backstage area, her hips swaying enticingly as she walked. Ben followed eagerly, his mind racing with anticipation of what was to come.

Feeling discomfort coursing through your body, you struggled to find a comfortable position in bed. With little whimpers escaping your lips, you decided to get up and make your way to the bathroom, hoping to find some relief from the pain.

Each step was a reminder of the soreness between your legs, making you wince with every movement.

Once in the bathroom, you searched for some pain relief, hoping it would ease the throbbing ache between your legs.

You rummaged through the medicine cabinet until you found a tube of soothing cream.

With careful movements, you applied the cream to your sore flesh, wincing slightly at the tender touch. The cool relief it provided was a welcome sensation. Closing your eyes, you leaned back against the bathroom counter, hoping that the cream would bring some relief and allow you to finally get some rest.

As your eyes flickered to your bruised hipbones reflected in the mirror, the sight made you wince, a fresh wave of discomfort washing over you. You couldn't help but wonder why Ben had acted the way he did, his roughness leaving both physical and emotional marks on you.

Sighing softly, you leaned closer to the mirror, studying your reflection as if searching for answers. But the reflection staring back at you offered no solace, only a silent reminder of the pain and confusion swirling inside you. Closing your eyes briefly, you pushed aside the troubling thoughts, focusing instead on the present moment and the hope that the cream would bring some relief.

As Ben was pushed lightly into the makeup room backstage, the girl's grin widened, her eyes flickering with excitement.

"You ready for some fun, Soldier Boy?", she purred.

Ben's lips curved into a smirk as he leaned closer to her, his gaze smoldering with desire. "I'm always ready", he replied, his voice thick with anticipation.

The girl wasted no time taking the lead, her movements fluid and enticing as she closed the distance between them. She pressed her body against his, the heat of her skin igniting a primal desire within him.

"You like what you see, Soldier Boy?", she teased, her hands trailing over his chest with a playful smirk.

Ben's breath hitched as he felt her touch, a low growl escaping his lips. "I like it a lot", he admitted.

With a primal growl, Ben tore away the scanty garments that barely covered the supe´s body, his desire consuming him as he pushed her roughly onto her knees. With swift movements, he stripped off his own pants and boxers, his throbbing member springing free, ready for action.

With practiced ease, the girl took him into her mouth, her lips wrapping around his shaft effortlessly. Her tongue danced skillfully around him, eliciting groans of pleasure from Ben as she expertly pleasured him. Her eyes remained locked with his, a look of intense desire burning in her gaze as she worked him with expert precision.

Despite the girl's impressive skills, Ben found it difficult to shake the image of you from his mind. Groaning with frustration, he pulled her up, his hands gripping her hips firmly as he pushed her against the wall. Her ass was on full display, and she eagerly pushed her hips back, wiggling her ass enticingly as she waited for him to take her from behind.

Ben's grip tightened on her hips as he positioned himself behind her, his cock throbbing with need. With a primal growl, he thrust into her with force, causing her to gasp in pleasure.

"You like it rough, huh?", he grunted, his voice husky with desire as he pounded into her relentlessly.

She moaned in response, her hands bracing against the wall as she pushed back against him, meeting his every thrust with equal fervor.

"You're so big", she whimpered, her voice filled with ecstasy as she surrendered to the overwhelming sensation of him filling her completely.

Ben's movements became more aggressive, his pace quickening as he drove himself deeper into her, the sound of their bodies colliding echoing through the room.

"You want it harder?", he growled. She nodded eagerly, her desire matching his own as she begged for more.

As the supe moaned loudly, her voice echoing like something out of a porno, Ben couldn’t help but feel annoyed by the exaggerated display. Her exaggerated noises grated on his nerves, reminding him of what he truly craved – the soft, genuine whimpers and moans that escaped your lips.

Despite her enthusiastic performance, Ben found himself longing for the raw, authentic connection he shared with you. He missed the way your body responded to his touch, the way your breath hitched and your skin flushed with desire.

Ben tried to shake off his thoughts and feelings, focusing instead on the supe beneath him. With a determined grunt, he began to fuck her harder, his movements rough and relentless as he sought to drown out the memories of you.

As he thrust into her with increasing intensity, the girl's moans grew even louder, her body trembling with pleasure. But despite his efforts to lose himself in the moment, Ben couldn't shake the nagging feeling of discontent that gnawed at him from within.

Her legs began to shake, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she struggled to keep up with his relentless pace.

"You like that, huh?", Ben grunted. "You're just a filthy little slut, aren't you?".

The supe girl moaned in response, her nails digging into the wall as she surrendered to the overwhelming sensation of him filling her completely.

The supe girl's pleas filled the room as she begged Ben to go harder, her voice a desperate melody of desire and ecstasy.

"You want it harder?", Ben growled, his grip on her hips tightening as he driving himself deeper into her with each powerful thrust.

With a mixture of pain and pleasure, the supe girl cried out, her body trembling with the force of his movements as she surrendered completely to the overwhelming sensation.

Ben grunted in frustration as he struggled to reach his peak, his movements becoming more aggressive with each passing moment. With a growl of annoyance, he resorted to using more force, his hand coming down hard on the supe girl's ass, leaving a red mark in its wake.

Despite his efforts, Ben found himself unable to release, the nagging feeling of dissatisfaction lingering in the back of his mind.

With a final grunt of effort, Ben finally reached his climax, his release spilling forth as he pulled out abruptly. Without a word, he turned the supe girl around forcefully, pushing her down to the ground.

"Take it", he growled, his voice rough with exertion as he unleashed his pent-up frustration, his hot seed splattering across her face in thick, white ropes.

The supe girl gasped as she felt the warm liquid coating her skin, her eyes wide with surprise and arousal as she looked up at Ben.

"Fuck", she breathed, a mixture of excitement and satisfaction in her voice as she licked her lips.

As Ben pulled up his jeans, his mind still swirling with thoughts of you, he couldn't help but let out a scoff of disdain.

"You're lucky I even bothered", he muttered, his tone dripping with arrogance as he looked down at the supe girl beneath him. "Most girls would kill for a chance like that".

The supe girl bristled at his words, a hint of indignation flickering in her eyes as she scrambled to her feet.

"Whatever you say, Soldier Boy", she shot back, her tone defiant as she straightened her clothes.

Ben rolled his eyes, dismissing her with a wave of his hand as he turned to leave the room.

As Ben's mind continued to revolve around you, he pushed open the door to the apartment, his steps heavy with uncertainty. Despite his anger and frustration, a part of him longed for the familiar comfort of your presence.

Quietly, he made his way towards your room, his heart pounding. He hesitated for a moment before opening the door and stepping inside, his eyes searching the room for any sign of you.

Ben's gaze softened as he spotted you curled up in the sheets, sound asleep. Relief flooded through him, momentarily easing the tension in his muscles. He stood there for a moment, watching you sleep, a mixture of emotions swirling inside him.

As Ben watched you sleep, a tumultuous whirlwind of emotions churned within him. He couldn't deny the fierce care and affection he felt for you, a feeling that surpassed anything he'd ever experienced before. Yet, at the same time, he grappled with a sense of frustration and self-doubt, unable to fully express his emotions in the way he desired.

Despite his tough exterior, deep down, Ben knew that he cared for you more than just for the physical connection you shared. It unsettled him, this vulnerability, this longing for something more meaningful than just casual encounters. In his mind, he felt like a fucking pussy for allowing himself to feel so deeply, for admitting that he wanted more than just the physical intimacy you provided.

He needed to calm down and distract himself somehow. Somehow he had to let his feelings out and he did it in his own way. In the only way he knew how. Sex. Rough sex.

With a heavy sigh, Ben turned away, his heart heavy with conflicting emotions. He knew he couldn't keep denying his true feelings for you, but the fear of vulnerability held him back, trapping him in a cycle of frustration and longing.

The next day, Hughie took charge of breakfast, bustling around the kitchen as he prepared a hearty meal for everyone. The aroma of sizzling bacon and freshly brewed coffee filled the air, coaxing you out of your slumber.

As you entered the kitchen, the sight of Hughie's culinary efforts brought a smile to your face. Despite the tension that had lingered in the air after last night's events, it was reassuring to see everyone coming together for a morning meal.

Butcher's gaze lingered on you as you entered the kitchen, his brow furrowing in concern. "Why are you walking so funny?", he asked, his tone laced with curiosity.

Just then, Ben joined the kitchen, his presence causing a subtle shift in the atmosphere. His eyes briefly met yours before he turned his attention to Hughie's cooking.

Ben watched you closely as you made your way to a free chair, your movements slow and deliberate. He couldn't help but notice the slight stiffness in your gait, a subtle indication of discomfort. However, you did your best to act as though everything was normal, masking any signs of pain.

Butcher grinned mischievously. "What's the matter, (Y/N)? Got a little too adventurous last night?", he teased, a playful smirk playing on his lips.

Frenchie glanced at Ben, his expression unreadable as he observed him closely.

You felt heat rise to your cheeks, embarrassment flooding through you as Butcher's words hit their mark.

"Uh, no, nothing like that", you stammered, trying to play it cool despite the blush creeping across your face.

Annie's keen eyes caught the subtle tension between you and Ben as he took a seat beside you.

"So, what's the plan for today?", she asked casually, though her eyes remained fixed on the two of you.

Butcher's voice cut through the tense atmosphere, drawing everyone's attention. "Homelander is back at vought", he announced, his tone resolute.

Ben's gaze snapped up at the mention of Homelander, a glint of determination in his eyes. The memory of what Homelander did to you fueled his desire for revenge, his jaw clenching at the thought.

As thoughts of Homelander raced through your mind, your heart began to pound with a mix of fear and anger. Sensing your unease, Ben subtly reached under the table and rested his warm hand on your thigh, offering a silent reassurance without needing to exchange words.

———————————

A/N: Well, I know it´s a lot, but please don´t hate me ._.

-

Part 19

-

Taglist: @deangirl96, @thatgirljayy, @suckitands33, @deans-spinster-witch@mimaria420@kaz11283@uncle-eggy @jackles010378 @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @meowmeowyoongles @sarahgracej @zemosdarling228 @leila22rogers @mostlymarvelgirl @emily-winchester @blacknoirr @onlyangel-444 @seasonofthenerd @staple-your-mouth @artemys-ackles @selfdestructionandrhum @mystic-mara

[xqueen-of-disasterx]

every breath you take

Paring: fem!reader × stalker!Nat

Warnings: SMUT, DUB-CON, stalking, drugging, dom!Nat, sub!reader, somnophilia, oral, fingering, pervy Nat, dark Nat, implied age gap (it’s me what did you expect)

!Disclaimer English is not my first language so please excuse any grammar or spelling errors. This story is completely fictional!

Masterlist- kinktober

ꕀꕀ ─── ⋆⋅ ✨🌞✨ ⋅⋆─── ꕀꕀ

Natasha considered herself a great people watcher. Working in her own bookshop she never failed to give the best recommendations that somehow were always right. But her life was empty. Having had a rough childhood having healthy relationships was impossible for her. What even is a healthy relationship? The redhead thought to herself. Maria had called her obsessive and possessive and Wanda called her a creep when she found out about her photographing hobby. It was just her love language. Natasha loved her partners to death. If she could have them no one should.

The bell of the door rang announcing another customer and pulling Natasha out of her thoughts as she glanced around the bookshelf looking at the customer who had just found their way in her shop.

You were looking for something new to read and had found the old bookshop as a insider tip on instagram. You made your way through the halls between the bookshelves paying attention to the books instead of your way until you ran into another woman. “Oh lord I’m so sorry” You immediately excused as you looked at the redhead in front of you. The moment you crashed into Natasha you knew you were meant to be. “No problem” she smiled at you “You’re first time here. I’d remember a face like yours” her voice was husky, attractive in your ears. Natashas thoughts were running wild. Was this meant to be? A young drop dead gorgeous girl randomly running into her arm in her bookstore; this was fate she decided. “Correct, I’ve heard so much ever since I moved here I just got to check it out” you smiled back at her not knowing how dangerous the red head in front of you really had been.

How could you had been so careless, Natasha thought to herself as she let herself in through your widely opened window. Someone with bad intentions could’ve broken in not her of course she was only here to give you the protection you needed. She creeped through the shadows her steps barely audible. The door of your bedroom making a quiet creak as she slipped through the opening she had created. Her breath hitched as soon as your sleeping form was falling into her gaze. She could barely contain herself as she reached for her camera.

The shutter made awfully loud sounds but luckily Natasha prepared for that a few sleeping pills in your favorite wine and you were sleeping like a baby. She moved around your body taking more and more pictures. You always wore your panties and some oversized T-shirt to sleep making it an easy game for Natasha. Her hands found their way to the hem of your slowly pushing it over your chest. The older woman couldn’t help but groan as she took a look at your perky nipples slowly getting hard as the cold air caressed over it. She took another picture before setting the camera aside. Her thumbs rolling over the soft skin making you stir in your sleep. She smirked gently kissing your neck. Her touch seemed to have a big affect on you as you started to release small whimpers in your sleep.

Your hips seemed to a mind on its own as they buckled up in search of a form of release. Natashas eyes widen as she heard a moan of her name coming from your sweet lips. Had she gone completely mad? But her ears didn’t play a trick on her you moaned her name out yet again. You wanted his too, you needed this too she concluded. In a swift motion your panties were on the ground with Natasha making a mental note to put them again later. Your creamy thighs were over the read heads shoulders as she licked over your wet pussy. She hummed at the delicious taste of your juices on her pinkish tongue. She licked between your folds leaving nothing untouched as she speared her stick saliva over your core.

Her long fingers found your entrance as she slowly inserted a finger. You were tight maybe even too tight for a second finger and definitely too tight for her cock but that didn’t stop her in anyway. You just had to be stretched out properly and in Natashas mind she was just Her curvy nose nudged under the hood of your clit giving just the right stimulation.

Your hips buckled against her face as you slowly awoke from your slumber. Natasha was fast to respond leaving the spot between your thighs to press her cheek against yours comforting you to not wake further. Natasha wasn’t planning on going to jail anytime soon so she had to play this right. Her finger still curling inside of you. “W-what” you mumbled still in a sleepy state. “It’s just a dream bunny… just a dream” she shushed you in a soft voice “Natasha?” You whisper her face hovering over yours “just go back to sleep” you nodded closing your eyes again before falling back into your slumber. Natasha kissed her way back down her as she pushed a second finger in making you moan. It didn’t take her long until you were on the clenching around her delicate fingers. A few more strokes against your G- Spot until you released.

She took her time licking your sweet release from your thighs and cunt. She placed your discarded panties on your body again before tugging you in again kissing your forehead. “Until next time bunny” she whisper before disappearing into the shadows again.

The next morning you woke up to a strange dream. Natasha your bookstore crush how you referred to her to your friends screwing you into the mattress. You almost felt dirty for having such a detailed wet dream about a random bookstore owner who probably wasn’t even interested in you. But you’re body craved it. So you made your way towards her store a bit nervous but with a goal in mind.

“How can I help you Y/N” the red head said smirking like always. ”Well” you started stepping to the counter “It’s not about a book it’s a little more personal” you see Natashas eyes widen. Did you remember anything? She asked herself. “Go ahead” You took a deep breath preparing yourself for a rejection “Do you want to go on a date with me”

“Of course”

If you had only known.

:)

I do not own these characters all rights go to Marvel

[buckgasms]

Hello!✨ I know I've already requested but I was wondering that if I can do at least another request, if not that's completely okay. But currently I'm sick and I get cranky when sick so I was wondering if you'd do something, even short. With alpha Bucky and sick omega female reader? Please feel free to ignore my request. Again, I loved the one you did for me with Mafia/Alpha Bucky X reader and the nest. I really love your writing and so it'll mean a lot but please don't overwork yourself. Again feel free to ignore me if you don't want to or can't. Keep up the good work! ✨

My angel!!!! Please don't apologise! Nonnie's and asks are always welcome here, especially when you bring good stuff like this. It might take me a while, but I will get round to it 💛

I'm sorry you were feeling poorly, I hope you are feeling much better now! Sorry this took so long but I hope you enjoy it! ✨

You woke up with a stuffy head, as if it was packed with cotton wool and every muscle in your body hurt. You were wrapped up in your nest, a blanket tucked up under your chin and your favourite teddy in your arms. The night before you were coming down with a cold but today it clearly had hit you with a vengeance.

Luckily you had the most amazing and intense alpha of all time and he was going to fight your cold on your behalf. You're little moans alerted him to you waking up and he was on you already.

"Easy little omega, take it easy" he cooed as you try to sit up. He guided you upwards and pressed a glass of cold water into your hands. As well as a couple of pills to keep the pain at bay. As you sip he presses his big hand on your cheeks and forehead.

"Tell me know you feel sweetness?" He says as you groan. "Tired and everything hurts" you pout, voice stuffy with flu. "Can't smell you alpha" you whine and he takes the glass from you hand and places it on the side before rolling over you and pulling you into his arms. He presses his lips to your scent gland and licks, sucks and kisses.

An instant warmth spreads over your body, tingles travelling from the top of your head to the tips of your toes and you whine in a more pleased way than before. You briefly untuck yourself from the blankets and climb onto Bucky before wrapping yourself and him up again.

"Do it again please" you whisper, pressing your face into his neck and chest clinging to any scent of his that slips through. He chuckles, a deep rumble that soothes your soul. He presses more kisses and licks to your sensitive neck and you cling to his body as your muscles relax and your eyes close in heady relief.

"Alpha, I don't wanna be sick" you groan, voice muffled by his skin against your lips. He wraps his arms round tighter and sucks a little harder before releasing with a pop. "I know my beautiful Omega, but I'm gonna help you feel better, I promise."

🤒

He spends the day keeping you fed and watered, rubbing your sore limbs and satisfying your omega needs. He lets you latch on to his fingers for comfort, you even have a nap with your head in resting on his thighs because his scent is much stronger in that region and it makes you less edgy and allows you some more sleep. You try to encourage some other activities but he is firm with his no.

"But Alpha! Orgasms make headaches go away!! And Alpha knots make Omegas feel really happy!" He chuckles as you hold back a sneeze and strokes soothing hands through your hair. "Well when you're feeling better Omega, you can have it all you want, but not today sweetness." You pout until he distracts you with kisses and cuddles, along with the promise of what will come later.

🤒

By the end of the day you are a bit better, and he lets you take a nice shower while he changes the bed. When you come out you feel refreshed and you giggle with happiness when he puts his t-shirt on you, so your fresh clean skin is already scented with him. You take your time to rearrange the nest correctly, with Bucky doing much of the 'heavy lifting', like moving blankets and cushions to the right place and finding space for your bear. Eventually, once you feel satisfied you climb back in with Bucky.

"You take such good care of me Alpha" you sigh as you close your eyes and sniffle, still feeling a little worse for wear but happy none the less. His fingers rub circles into your body, following the sounds of your satisfaction as he moves around gently.

"Anything for you my beautiful Omega"

[inkpotsprite]

hehehehehheheheheheh i've just caught up on IDWID and firstly: SCREAMING I LOVE YOU AND YOUR WRITING FR. FROTHING AND CRACKING THE CYAN PILL IN MY MOUTH.

secondly: i Love how you describe everything- the characters, the scenery, the /scene/. all Phenomenal!!! every time you reintroduce Death, Time, or Life, and they all have different visuals, i can /see/ how phantasmal and resplendent you envision them to come off as.

thirdly: do you have your own therapist irl??? or are you getting a degree to /become/ one???? because the quotes i have taken from Dr. Ali, Death, Time, and Life (SPECIFICALLY "Your stagnation would have ruined you more than your growth ever could") have ruined me and i feel like if i get another therapist, they had to previously be an English Lit major or smth

just wanted to let you know i adore your work, and am definitely gonna go looking for more off it! i hope your day is great and that you get enough sleep tonight!! <3 :)

The happy squeals I made when I first read this had my cat looking at me in concern. Thank you so much for everything you wrote here 🥰 Seriously, it made my day.

I'm glad you like the descriptions, they're some of my favourite parts to write! It feels like our resident deities deserve to be glamorous and ever changing.

Haha, my experience with therapy is actually pretty limited (for now.) Most of Tim's therapy scenes stem from what I'd imagine a good therapist to be like, bits and pieces I've picked up from research/internet rabbit holes, and just general life experience.

The fact that you IDWID enough to take quotes from it makes me so happy!! Getting a therapist who majored in English Lit would be like winning the therapy lottery and I'm rooting for your success ✨

I'll admit most of my other works are pretty light-hearted. But if you're wanting something with a similar feel to IDWID, my 3AM in Gotham series might work. Either way, I'm glad you've enjoyed my story so far 😊

Also, I'm sorry about how late my reply is, it's been a little hectic both off and online, and I wanted to make sure I took the time to write a response that wasn't rushed.

Thank you so much for this message, I hope you're doing well! 💕

[honey-minded-hivemind]

LMFAO

When I read that our doctor was someone a bit.. ✨Sinister✨

I just imagine Mr Sinister in a doctor outfit or a nurse outfit

And that is genuinely fucking hilarious to me

Cube Anon

Hahaha! Oh, yes! (He's wearing a doctor's coat and mask, and is hating every minute of it)

It was Sinister all along~

I won't spoil too much, but he is the reason Reader is in their current world, and has reasons not to outright kill them (they can't be killed, or everything is destroyed-). He hid as Dr. Essex, careful not to he seen in public or in private, save for prescribing a few pills and threatening anyone who was unfortunate enough to get too close to his plans...

He prescribed Reader the pills. He's the reason they're not the way the X-Men or the others remember them as. He's the reason they've been gone.

And when the X-Men and the villains amd side characters find out?

Oohhh...

Mr. Sinister is going to meet a sinister fate at their hands, he took away their friend, their kid, he hid them, almost destroyed them, he's poisoned them, he isn't going to f*cking LiVe after this-!

(And in the background, during late nights when Reader is passed out or going through a bout of pain or illness in their sleep, one of the X-Men slips through to offer comfort, put their blankets back on them, and to guard them... No one messes with their kit, their kit-cat, their sunshine, nO OnE!)

( @thewickedweiner @sugar-soda Who do you think comes through the most often to check on Reader? And does anyone have a guess what the next lost season is about? 🙂🙃)

[darlingsfandom]

Hi Hi~✨ Can I request Spencer/mgg taking care of reader with chronic pain having a flair up? Perhaps with some hot chocolate & books? Pretty please? 🥺 💕

Thank you so much for taking requests and for all your writings thus far! 💕

Hi friend !! Yes of course.

Also I'm going to cry !! Thank you so much ✨ I'll always do my best to fulfill request .

The pain was nothing new to you at this point it was more of an annoyance. All the doctors you had seen had just dismissed and gave you the same story every time that you're too young, you need to loose weight, sleep more, take more vitamins and every other excuse out of the book to ignore your pain.

You were sitting on the couch with a heating pad on your lower back when Spencer came in with some plastic bags.

"Hi sweetheart, I'm sorry I'm late. When we were on the phone earlier and you mentioned how much your back was bothering you, I stopped at the store and got you some more medicine, some hot chocolate mix, some sour candy because sour candy sends this little signal to your brain..."

"Spence?" You cut him off with a whine as he set the bags on the counter and quickly ran over to you. He sat down carefully next to you. Spencer always treated you like you were made of glass during a flare up. "I love you." You placed your hand on his cheek and he placed his hand over yours before he took your hand and kissed it softly.

"Have you taken any medicine in the last four hours ?" He asked while adjusting your heating pad so that you could lay down on the couch.

"It's been about six !"

Spencer grabbed the pain killers from the plastic bag before bringing it to you along with a glass of water. "Take these, they're leftover from when I got shot in the knee." You looked up at him with soft eyes as he helped you take the pills. "Good girl!" He kissed your forehead before getting up. Spencer made you some hot chocolate and brought it over to you in the coffee mug he got you for Valentine's Day last year.

"Thank you honey bunny!" You giggled as you took the cup. Spencer pulled the book out from his back and handed it to you. "Spencer ! You got me the collection of the original Grimm s fairy tails??" You pouted your bottom lip at him . Spencer moved closer and kissed your pout.

"I figured you'd like it and it would help distract you from the pain." He placed his hand on your knee and gave it a soft squeeze. You eyes teared up while you looked up at him through your lashes .

"I love you Spencer ! Will you read to me please?" You handed him the book. Spencer took the book carefully as he pulled back the blanket and moved you closer to him as carefully as he could. He laid your head on his lap and ran his fingers through your hair slowly.

"Once upon a time..." Spencer started reading as you laid there listening to him read you your favorite story . This might not be modern medicine but who needs medicine when you have Spencer taking care of you the best way he can.

[maxipad032]

pov: you have a bad habit of going out and drinking, which shuri doesn’t like as she worries for your safety.

short + sweet headcanon w/ protective shuri✨

shuri sighed heavily as she put her phone down on the bed next to her after calling you for the past hour. you haven’t been picking up and she grew more and more worried, her bouncing leg showing her anxiety. she tried to connect to your kimoyo beads but quickly noticed that you’d left them at home as you always did even when she told you it was important you took them with you incase anything happened.

you left to go to the nightclub with your friends at around 8pm and it was currently 4am as shuri purposely and patiently stayed up to wait for you. normally, she was in the lab anyway so it wasn’t hard to avoid sleeping but being in her bedroom was making it increasingly difficult to remain awake. although, her constant worrying about you made it easier. she’d insisted to come with you but you knew she had work to do in the morning and you’d feel guilty if she wasn’t able to so, so you convinced her not to come and just stay home.

“shit man, where the fuck is she?” shuri questioned into thin air as she sat up, running her hands lazily through her curls as she thought about what to do. just then, she heard the door slam open and shut as the sound of clacking heels echoed around the house. hearing it, shuri shot out of bed and went into the living room, seeing you leaning down on the counter and looking absolutely out of it with your head down and hair splayed everywhere.

“y/n, baby are you okay?” shuri hurriedly rushed over to you, lifting you up by your shoulders and checking to see if you were okay. you lazily lifted your head up at her and smiled, trying to reach up to her face but nearly falling in the process as you missed your footing. shuri held you again before you fell and put an arm around your shoulder, guiding you into your shared room. she sat you on the soft bed and turned off all the lights in the house before closing the door gently.

you slumped down onto the bed, your eyes barely opening as your head pounded and mouth was dry; you didn’t mean to get so wasted, but your friends were egging you on to drink more and you never turned down a challenge so…voila.

“y/n y/l/n.” shuri called out in a stern voice as she stayed, leaning up against the cream coloured door, arms crossed like a nursery teacher.

“mmm.” you groaned out, not able to make sentences yet as you tossed and turned.

“do you have any idea what the time is?” shuri asked, her tone becoming harsher.

“ehh…no.” you said quietly, not really being able to comprehend what she was saying.

“it’s fucking 4am and you left at 8pm? you said you’d be back by 1am, and not to mention you didn’t answer your phone or bring your kimoyo beads? what if something happened to you? i stop at nothing to guarantee your safety but you go and do incredibly stupid things that make it hard to look out for you. at this point i’m actually so tired of it, you need to limit your drinking because it’s getting out of hand!”

you slowly opened your eyes and leaned up, sensing that she was upset at you.

“baby…are you really that mad? come on, i’m here aren’t i?” you pouted, squinting at her as you tried to make out her face.

“that’s not my point here,” shuri began as she walked towards you, “my point is that you are being very irresponsible, you’re an adult for gods sake not a teenager.” shuri said sassily, sitting on the bed as she watched you try to talk back, but not being able to because you’re completely drunk out of your mind.

“mmm..sorry baby.” is all you managed to get out as you were completely void of emotion which was a complete contrast to your sober self which would’ve been sobbing if shuri talked to you like this.

“whatever, just go to sleep, i’ll get you some pills and water or else you’re gonna end up with one heck of a hangover tomorrow.” shuri rolled her eyes, getting up to rustle through her drawers for the pills and opening an unopened water bottle to place at your bedside.

she was able to make you take them before helping you to undress, taking off your high heels, tight blue dress and even wiping off your heavy makeup. then, she dried your face off and slipped you into some comfy pj’s whilst you basically fell asleep as was doing it like a literal baby. yes, she was mad at you but fucking hell you were cute as hell, she’d give you a proper scolding tomorrow, when you were sober and could actually understand. she tucked you in and got in bed herself in which you were already snoring hard as fuck and she quietly laughed , kissing your forehead before wishing you a goodnight, “goodnight my angel, bast i don’t know what i would’ve if something bad had happened to you.” she muttered, finding comfort in hearing the low thrumming of your chest and eventually going to sleep too, dwelling in the comfort that you were safe and in her arms as you should be.

[thenextdawn-temporarilyclosed]

You’re Alive Pt. 3

Pt. 2 HERE

Word count: 1.3K

Summary: your birthday wasn’t like any other birthday, because it was your last one, or at least so you thought.

Warnings: angst, (lots of it) suicide attempt, depression, drug addiction

Pairing: Wednesday X Fem!Reader

The chapter full of angst y’all have been asking for! Hope you like it 🖤✨

———

And just like that another year passed. Another year of nothing but shit and depression. You had fallen back in depression, you would take anti depression pills every day, maybe you’re even addicted to them but you didn’t care. It’s not like someone cared for you anyway, sheriff Galpin had also given up on you. You were now almost 20 and your like has been nothing but shit. You had lost a lot of weight and you didn’t use your power anymore. It consisted in telekinesis and making things look prettier, but the “pretty” part in your life had apparently vanished and now everything you touched died.

However, you were still trying to make Nevermore a pretty place, but unluckily it wasn’t working. Wednesday promised she’s come back, yet none of it was working… your soul was slowly dying inside of you and so were you. You felt empty, you still kept thinking that you didn’t deserve all the lies they told you. You had decided, you wanted to end it all, it hurt and a lot. You had a lot of medication so you decided to just go for it and take all the pills you had. You wanted to die of overdose. At this point you knew that no one would be coming back for you, like Wednesday promised. This was just another lie, and you were probably just a pawn in her big game.

You had decided to write Wednesday a goodbye letter, if she ever came looking for you. You debated on writing it even for Weems, but eventually you decided not to, because this was part of their plans, this all because they made you suffer, so you needed to feel the guilt. Then on your birthday you decided to do it. You were in the balcony enjoying the last sunrise of your life, on your birthday and it was beautiful, almost as if it was inviting you to take your life and make beautiful sunrises and sunsets. You went back in the room, going in Wednesday’s bed to try and smell whatever bit remained of Wednesday’s vanilla perfume in there as you took each pill you had. At least you were going out with the relaxing sound of the birds chirping and the wind whistling between the leaves.

You started feeling cold, then you started loosing perception of your limbs. You started sweating and you slowly became very pale. You started breathing slower and your heart beat slower than what it should be and you slowly felt yourself loose consciousness as you fell into that dee sleep you have always dreamed of.

Just then, Wednesday came into the room, looking for you. And saw you laid on what used to be her bed emotionless. She thought you were asleep, so she sat down on the bed, sitting next to you as she put a hand on your shoulder. “(Y/N), Happy birthday” she said, but after shaking you for a while, she noticed that you weren’t responding. “(Y/N), wake up” she said and shook you harder, then feeling your pulse she realized it was very weak. She started crying as she called for an ambulance. “Please don’t leave me, wake up I’m so sorry” she said and tried giving you CPR, however it wasn’t working, you weren’t waking up and she kept crying and apologizing. “(Y/N) I’m so so sorry, please don’t leave me I love you so much-“

You could hear a very distant voice as you kept slipping away. You didn’t even try to fight back, you just wanted to get away from this world that had done you so bad. The ambulance soon arrived and took you away, leaving Wednesday alone in her old room. She looked around for any kind of note and she found a letter.

To Wednesday.

I don’t know if you’re ever gonna come back for me like you promised, I don’t think so at this point. It’s something hard for me to accept but at this point I don’t have any choice, right?

I loved you so much during the few years that I had you in my life. It sucked then too, but it was better than how it turned when you all “died” and even worst than when I found out that you have been lying to me this whole time.

This should be a goodbye letter but it’s time you all realize that it’s your fault I did this. I lost everything. I lost you, I lost Weems, I lost Sheriff Galpin, too. At some point during those years he had become kind of my father, but when he saw I got addicted to my anti-depression pills. He did the best thing, no one wants to have an addict to care for.

Now you must be wondering why today. The reason is simple… I was sure you wouldn’t come, but then if there was a day you’d come it would have been my birthday. Even if it’s not my birthday… well at least you know why. If you’re here years after I committed suicide, you’ll probably find a body that’s in late decomposition. At least I’m sure you’ll find something you like.

I didn’t ask much of you Wednesday. I just wanted you to let me know you were safe. I get it that it was hard, but no one is taking it out on my head that there were thousand of ways for you to let me know you were okay and you didn’t dare use even one.

These are maybe all the reasons why I committed suicide. I just wanted to make you understand why I did what I did and why it was your fault.

This being said, I love you so much Nes. I know what I did was selfish but I just couldn’t handle it anymore. Please understand this.

Goodbye.

After reading that letter she crumbled down to her knees. Everything hurt, she did this to you and for the first time she cried desperately. She had cried before, but not desperately like this. In the room came Weems that had taken Wednesday there and she tried to help her up, however the girl pushed her away. “I’m sorry- I’m sorry I did this to her-“ she sobbed out and Weems there tried to support her, with tears in her eyes she helped her up to her feet. “Come on let’s go to the hospital…”

The two of them headed to the hospital behind the ambulance and as soon as they got in they saw doctors trying to bring you back. It had now been 20 minutes of you without a heartbeat and they were giving up. “What? No, you have to keep going!” Wednesday said between sobs. “Miss, we can’t she’s gone-“ Wednesday interrupted her “SHE’S NOT GONE! TRY AGAIN” the doctors looked at each other before trying again with the defibrillator. You got a slow but steady heartbeat. “She’s back, good job everyone. Intubare her and give her an IV” Wednesday sighed of relief as they were brought out to a waiting room. After a couple hours, they were let in your room. You were intubated as you had troubles breathing, but you were safe.

Still sweating because of the overdose, you were laying motionless in the hospital bed. Wednesday tried to keep in the tears but she just couldn’t, she burst out once again. She hugged you for what was possible for her as she cried on your shoulder before speaking to you gently. 

“(Y/N) I’m so sorry for what I caused you. It was never my intention, I never would have figured out that you’d react like this… I overestimated the way you react. I’m so sorry, just please come back to me…”

Tagging those who asked for part three: @nachoishere @dreifhraniquo29 @tundra1029 @suiseistellar

[emmatriarchy]

Took my very first melatonin pill.

I hope it'll help me sleep deeply so that I can rest better.

my light therapy lamp should be delivered tomorrow. I found one for half the price at a belgian electronics store yay.

following doctor's advice! baby steps for my health! progress!

I shall be back to play with our silly virtual dolls tomorrow :)

remember: this is a hobby not a jobby ✨✨✨✨✨

[willshipanything-blog]

Rules of the Game- Chapter 21

Little different this chapter!  I was planning on a few vignettes- little snapshots of Al and Y/N together. I reached out to some lovely mutuals on Tumblr- if they wanted any particular scenes, and got a few ideas I was able to put in alongside some pre-planned little scenes. If you don't see your requests here, it may make an appearance next chapter, which will also have a similar structure! ✌✨🖤

Thanks to @fierytteokbokki @drag-ghoul @grabberwife42 @gremlinology @reborn-ghost and others for their contributions! 💜

Turned out a lil' sweet and sad, but hope you enjoy!

Chapter 21- Still Life (1)

TOUCH

Mornings after the game were always when Al seemed to be at his most gentle, his most nurturing. Down he’d come, carrying both breakfast and an assortment of pills, lotions and ointments to soothe your aches and sores from the previous night’s escapades. This morning was quite the same, and you smiled sleepily and sat up against the wall as the metal door’s creak woke you from a restful sleep. As expected, Al (wearing only the grin this morning) plopped himself beside you on the mattress. The discernable dip momentarily- only momentarily- caused your eyes to flicker towards where he sat, where that cursed knife lay in hiding just below. He hadn't noticed it. A plate of buttered toast and eggs held in front of you thankfully dragged your eyes (and your mind) from that unsavory thought. 

You found you were ravenous (likely helped by last night’s activities) and ate quickly. Al allowed you to wolf down the food before trying to make conversation. With your belly full, and a warm cup of coffee in hand, he finally spoke to you.

“How’s my little dove this morning?” His kind words floated out from behind the false grin; always in such a good mood after a night of Naughty Girl. 

“I’m good Al,” You replied, imitating the smile you imagined hiding beneath the mask, “Did you- did you enjoy last night?” You faltered only slightly. Though you took part in the game without shame, your cheeks always seemed to blush strawberry-red when talking so casually about it afterwards. 

“Oh, Y/N, more than you could ever know.” That low, husky voice made a sudden appearance and his bright blue eyes seemed to flash menacingly at just a mention of the game (though it could have just been the winter sun streaming through the basement window). His left hand found your thigh and he gave it a soft, affectionate squeeze over the blanket. You gazed down at your ring on his pinky, the small morganite gem shining peachy pink in the morning light. The hold he had on you- not on your thigh, but on your whole being- convinced you that his promise would never be broken again. Would Al ever fully be certain that yours could be kept too? Would you know the answer to that yourself?

“Let’s survey the damage, shall we?” Al said, his lilting tones returned as he reached for a nearby bottle of cream. You placed your empty cup beside you on the floor, kicked the blanket off your body and spread your legs as Al applied the cool balm on your inner thighs, where red welts had bloomed overnight into vivid violets. It might have felt a little obscene were his touch not so soothing, like a nurse tending a wounded soldier after combat. Your battle scars would heal soon enough, and you’d happily suffer them again at Al’s hand. 

“The quicker they heal, the sooner you can inflict them again.” You spoke the familiar maxim, almost a sworn oath, setting out the rules of the game. 

“If you’d like me to, Y/N.” A soft voice spoke as equally soft blue eyes looked up at your face. Your brows flinched slightly. Al was no longer voicing the inevitability of a future game, nor was he praising you for reciting that unwritten rule. The choice to play again lay in your hands. Naughty Girl commenced at your command; only once it began would the reins be passed to Al, and he would become master of the game once more. 

You began to reply truthfully:

“I’d love t-” That word. You’d heard it last night. You thought you’d dreamed of Al speaking those three ill-fated words- ‘I love you’ - in some indistinct, nebulous dreamstate. But that phrase, unlike the rest of your half-forgotten dream, had become so clear, so palpable in your mind, you had to wonder… You’d lost your train of thought admitting your unabashed enjoyment, and looked perplexedly at Al, who was looking back just as puzzled, one eyebrow raised in question.

“Um, yeah. I’d like that, Al.” You hoped your foolish choice of words and panicked recovery hadn’t marred the intimacy of the shared moment. A simple nod of his head assuaged you briefly, but a lump the size of a ping pong ball rose in your throat as Al began to collect and place things back on the plastic tray. You floundered, moving to grab onto him- you couldn’t allow him to leave on such a sour note. 

“Please, Al. Stay a little while. Stay with me.” Your hand clasped around his muscular forearm, and he agreed to your terms with a low, assenting grunt. Putting down the tray, he now moved to grip you, his hands easily encircling your wrists. His fingers rubbed soothingly at the reddened skin where the cuffs had bitten into you. You said nothing, instead watching his nimble fingers work their way around your body, finding their way to your bare thighs, where (with the lightest of touches) his fingerpads traced along the purplish bruises. His gentle touch continued as he traversed those familiar trails on your face- your pinkish scar along the ridge of a cheekbone; your jaw, from your ears down to your chin, the raised scar that he fingered just above the surface of your heart. With each touch came a doting affection: how beautiful you looked that morning, how splendid you made last night, how truly blessed he was to have his little dove all to himself.

Al finally pulled you into him once your whole body had been touched by his hand and blessed with his words. As your head rested against his chest, you heard the steady thud of his heart beneath his jet-black shirt. You relaxed as his soft touches to your neck and chest continued alongside praise cooed lovingly in your ear- you’re perfect, Y/N; you’re so, so special to me; we’re going to be so happy here. He was sincere, and you believed every word. The beguiling caresses and praise enchanted you. Deeper under his spell you fell, and as you did so, the more those dreamy words from last night seemed to solidify, forming into something tangible. If they were really spoken- what then? What you and Al shared wasn’t synonymous with that word- love. Was it? 

No, it wasn’t real. If left unspoken, it couldn't manifest itself into something real. You couldn’t let him say it- or allow yourself to respond. This was enough- to care about him, to enjoy him- but no more. You hoped desperately it was enough.

Al wondered if he may have made a mistake- his sweet dove seemed a little uncertain this morning. Of course, she may just be worn out from such a beautifully tempestuous night spent together. But, he figured morosely, Y/N’s demeanor changed suddenly, as if a horrifying realization had struck her. What if Y/N heard those words he’d spoken last night? He wondered whether it was a mistake to speak them aloud- those three dangerous words would certainly not be carried on her sublime lips, spoken back to him in reciprocation. 

Maybe it didn’t matter after all. Maybe these little moments, these perfect, intimate encounters with her that he could steal away and keep locked in his memory- maybe that could be enough. Enough to hold her, have her, own her entirely. That was always what he longed for. He hoped so. 

TRICK

“C’mon, focus.”

“I can’t do it Al!”

“Yes, you can Y/N.” Al growled through what you could tell were gritted teeth. He’d been patient in your training thus far, but a huff of irritation blew out from behind the mask’s grin indicated his growing agitation at your continued self-criticism. 

“Ugh, it’s too hard!” You huffed back indignantly. 

You thought you were a pretty patient person, but apparently sleight of hand was not to be your forte. You hated being bad at something, but even you were almost at your wit’s end. You’d brought this on yourself- you were the one who suggested All teach you a magic trick. Even one as basic as summoning a card as if from thin air had you bested: a field of clubs, diamonds, hearts and spades surrounding you on the living room carpet evidenced your failures in stark red and black. 

Al had shown you the steps, talked through the techniques to use. It involved cupping your palm just so, flexing your hand a certain way, and snapping your fingers quickly to catch the card. When Al did it, he made it appear as though the card poofed into existence. So far, you had only succeeded in setting up a game of 52 pickup. The only thing stopping you from quitting altogether was Al’s promise of a takeout pizza if you managed to emulate the trick. 

“Would it help if you wore the hat?” he teased, lounging on the couch, obviously enjoying your pouting. You shot him both daggers and a cheeky retort:

“Not if I have to wear those stupid glasses too.” 

A low, almost inaudible grunt indicated you were oh-so-close to being a little too brazen. You focused your eyes back on the card in your palm, redoubling your efforts as you thought through each step of the trick. Fnap! The 7 of clubs appeared between your forefinger and thumb. You couldn’t hold back a wide, incredulous smile. 

“Beautiful, Y/N. Again, a little faster”. 

Fnap! The King of Hearts appeared even more swiftly this time. Fnap! 9 jet-black spades materialized in your hand. 

“See, dove, I told you you could do it.” Al leaned over to where you sat on the floor, a soft stroke along your jawbone making your blush appear quicker than any card you could summon. “Good job, too- I was getting hungry.” 

“Extra mushrooms please!” you hollered across the room, as Al rose from the couch and strode across the room, picking up the receiver on the cream telephone. His temples crinkled beside his blue eyes- a sure sign of smiling. He held up a finger to gesture your silence, and you obeyed, turning to focus on re-enacting the trick once more. You also knew he’d have to lift the mask off to speak clearly on the phone, and wanted to afford him some privacy. You’d told yourself you were content with that arrangement: that, no matter how much Al might test you, push your limits, you wouldn’t do the same with his mask. You’d wait patiently for another reveal, however long it took. 

Satisfied you’d got the hang of the trick, you began to collect the cards scattered over the shag carpet, stacking 51 of them neatly on the coffee table before reclining comfortably on the couch. 

“Shouldn’t be long, dove-” Al paused after turning to you, his grinning mask returned, “What, bored already?”

You sat up and flashed a wry smile, performing the trick one final time. Your hands gesticulated much like Al’s, imitating the theatricality and panache you’d watched from your suave magician. Fnap! Two crimson hearts appeared in your hand. The very same card you’d picked from Al during his last trick. 

You knew that he’d remember. You knew by summoning that card, he’d grab you hungrily, pull you in close and take you to the basement, where he’d perform a magic all of his own on you, have you unraveled completely at his spell and mewling at his incantations. A half-forgotten thought wondered whether Al would hear the doorbell from downstairs, but you had a different kind of hunger now, that only Al could sate. 

MASKS

Even as your days and nights with Al hushed into a steady and comforting rhythm- like soothing ocean ebbs and flows- you still often contemplated one of the few remaining barriers between you. It wasn’t the unspeakable things he’d done (which you had sworn to repress), nor was it the fairly obvious situation of you being his captive, his prisoner. It was a physical barrier you meditated on. It was the masks. 

Al had always been deliberate about how the masks were used. The smooth blank visage used to be completely unreadable, and you’d rack your brains wondering what tricks he was up to. The maniacal grin once instilled a strange dread, unnerved by his false kindnesses that would be cruelly reversed in an instant. And the frown always meant punishment and the promise of pain.  

The seismic shift your relationship had undergone meant the masks no longer clamped your heart in a dreadful, suffocating grip. But still, there was a meticulous system in how Al wore them. Naughty Girl still began with that deep frown, though Al had begun more and more to leave the grimace behind, loosening it in favor of kissing your mouth (and anywhere else on your body he so wished to taste). Mostly, half a mask greeted you in your basement chamber. If Al wore the familiar grin, it usually meant time for embracing, cuddling up on the low mattress to talk. His exposed azures (so genuine and trustworthy), fringed by his soft ashen hair, expressed more emotion than you thought possible. When Al greeted you in the devilled horns, his perfectly crooked teeth gleaming through parted lips, you knew you were going to make love. 

But even half a mask concealed things from you. Though you could solve the cryptic expressions and discern Al’s feelings in most given moments, that sculpted alabaster barricade felt sometimes like an impenetrable skin. True, he had revealed his whole face to you, unbroken by that concealing white disguise. But he had done so only once, in a moment of desperation, a sacrifice made in exchange for your forgiveness. You wondered when (if ever) you would see his visage in its unhidden entirety. 

Al surprised you when, after a quiet dinner on the mattress, he had left almost immediately after you’d finished eating. He’d been quiet, pensive, but even so, he had left without a word or a gesture, no reason why nor any farewell caress to your needful skin. A game, then? But no- you’d heard the door shut with the usual thud and click. Still, you tried to swing the door open, but it was sealed tight. Confusion grew into worry, which in turn grew into panic. The festering feeling in your gut, which had been banished for so long, had returned, clawing your insides with razor-sharp talons. It wasn’t fear so much as worry that you might have done something wrong; the thought of upsetting Al, unintentionally or otherwise, made your stomach churn. 

When the door once again opened (thirty minutes or an eternity? It all felt the same waiting and pacing in unknowing agony) your worry did not cease. Al stood in his mask. His full mask, the one with the blank, expressionless lower half. You hadn’t seen this iteration of the mask in weeks. It felt like when you’d first arrived here; when the pale horned face would appear from behind the door, and you had been so unsure of what sinister intentions were hidden beneath the ghoulish exterior. Given that you had deciphered the masks’ tacit codes, this felt like you’d regressed back to a time when they were as confusing as they were frightening. You didn’t know this game now either. But you trusted Al, and you weren’t afraid anymore. 

He approached you slowly, retracting a long, thin piece of fabric from a back pocket. Your feet stayed rooted to the spot, but your arms instinctively rose, hands pressing together. You thought he was going to bind your hands together, but a decisive shake of his head had you flummoxed. You interlocked your fingers, unsure of what to do with your hands, and felt the gold band on your right middle digit. It was a reassuring token; Al wouldn’t hurt you. 

Those gentle blue eyes disappeared from your vision and the basement vanished into a black void. Al had placed the fabric over your eyes, moving behind your ears and around the back of your head, where he tied the blindfold in a couple of tight knots. Your breath hitched in your throat and you swallowed it, trying to remain calm. It was just another game of his- and you always enjoyed them. Reassuring hands met yours, and Al wordlessly guided you back onto the mattress, sitting (you approximated) somewhere in the center. You hoped your smile hid the slight quiver in your lips. 

“Do not move the blindfold, Y/N.” You nodded. The phrase wouldn’t have been out of place during Naughty Girl, a playful yet dangerous warning. But Al’s tone was softer, worrisome even. It was a command to obey, but it was also a plea, a beseeching request. You suspected you knew why he sounded so anxious, and was proven right as you felt his lips meet yours. He had removed the lower portion of the mask. His kiss deepened, a hand cradling around your neck as your hands fumbled blindly to grip his thighs. His other hand ran through your hair as he paused, both of you a little breathless from the prolonged kiss. Your foreheads met as you rested, both breathing in each others’ zealous exhalations. He’d removed the horned half of the mask too. 

You couldn’t help but lean away slightly, reach your invisible hands to where you knew him to be, and caress his face with the gentlest of touches. Your hands glided over each feature, piecing together the memory of his beautiful face. He was opening up. In his own way, of course: he was still nervous, uncomfortable to present himself to you so candidly. But he was here, in front of you, allowing you to glimpse into a possible future where the masks could be discarded and forgotten. Maybe one day Al wouldn’t feel the need to hide at all. He’d done it once before, out of sheer desperation and amid the threat of losing you completely. He could do it again, in time. Time is something you weren’t short of. For now, you’d be content with this. 

AWAKE

When the darkness had been in charge, the Grabber had watched excitedly at the fear and the horror that visited Y/N in her dreams, making her fret and moan, waking in panicked sweat to come face to face with an even worse terror watching her like a ravenous wolf. But as that carnal, sadistic side of Al became restrained, so too did Y/N’s nightmares subdue. He still found he liked to watch her sleep. Sometimes for hours. The night terrors had subsided, and Al enjoyed the quiet, perfect moments where her calm, even breaths were all he needed to hear. 

Since growing closer, Y/N often fell asleep in Al’s arms, though still he’d stay deep into the night, enjoying the feeling of her body against him, a perfect fit. Two opposite poles being inevitably pulled together. Inescapable, destined to be. She had woken on occasion to find Al with his strong arm possessively around her waist. He stilled, pretending to snooze soundly, wondering what move she might make. His heart swelled with rapturous delight: she hadn’t wriggled free, but instead rubbed his arm gently, pressing her body deeper into his and stirring no more. Al, unable to hold back his elation, dove into her, planting delicate twilight kisses along her beautiful neck to lull her peacefully back into an ethereal slumber. 

Recently, however, Al had noticed Y/N sleeping fitfully on occasion, like something was weighing on her mind once the midnight moon bathed her basement cell in its pale, ghostly light. His little thing seemed to hide any worries in her waking hours, but she was unable to hide her unconscious, involuntary thoughts as he watched her sleeping. He thought things were better than ever, and worried terribly that he’d done something wrong. He almost laughed at this absurd thought. He’d done everything wrong. He would carry the shame of imprisoning her to his final days. But he was sure she had accepted this fate. So what was it affecting her so, forcing Al to soothe and calm her as she fretted and writhed once more in a troubled dreamstate? His worst fear was that she knew- she knew how he felt, and it had broken her. 

… 

Al woke from his own sleep, his eyes adjusting to the static that buzzed and hummed a low frequency in front of him. Piecing together the scene: he and Y/N had been watching a movie together. They had both fallen asleep on the couch, but she was no longer wrapped tightly in his arms, as he always held her when they lied together. He felt a warmth by his feet, and turned his head slowly in the dim, flickering light thrown across the room by the TV static. There, sitting on the opposite end of the couch, was Y/N, her elbow perching on the back of the couch, head resting on her fist as she looked out of the window. Surveying the outside world through the gaps in the rust-colored curtains. 

She hadn’t crept off to make any sort of escape, or gone snooping through the house. She had woken and stayed near to Al, though he knew his dove was thinking of faraway, unattainable things. Impossible wishes that he had forbidden her to desire. As she looked pensively out of her glass cage, the light December snowfall reflected in her bright, wistful eyes. Aside from her slow breaths and blinking lashes, Al might have thought she was inanimate. His own eyes glistened as he comprehended this idea: for all the choices he had given her, maybe she had become an inanimate being, a doll for Al to play with and discard as he saw fit. He prayed to whatever gods were out there she didn’t feel that way; he certainly didn’t anymore. He felt he had watched her covertly for long enough in the midnight darkness, and spoke softly to her.

“Dove?” She startled at Al’s words, looking away from the frosted window and back towards him. Like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t have been. Like she thought she might be in trouble.

“You’re still here.” Al sat up, noticing (thanks to the flickering orange street light outside) that her mouth wavered for a moment, unsure whether to speak. She did.

“Where would I have gone?” Watery eyes gazed into him. A punch in his gut at the question. But she was right. She had always been such a clever thing. Where was there for her to go? It might have sounded romantic, forsaking all others to stay with Al. But there was no choice for his dove, and that tore at his insides like a rabid creature. Surprisingly, she broke the awkward and heavy silence that had settled like a blanket of snow between you both. 

“Can I go back downstairs Al?”

“Of course Y/N.” Back to the safety of the cell in which he’d so cruelly imprisoned her, the comfort of a mattress so unkindly given. It’s not how Al wanted things to be, but it was away from the even crueler and more unkind temptations of a world no longer accessible to his most precious possession. He loved her too much to ever let her go. Didn’t he?

[warmerthanhotcoco]

to live for

Draco apparates to “Where Dobby is”, only to find said elf’s grave. At least Aunt Trixie’s knife didn’t hit Potter… Who turns up right when he’s about to leave. So he decides to stay a while longer with this… newfound friend/secret lover.

Tags: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Golden Trio, Post-Malfoy Manor, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, RIP Dobby, mild angst with comfort, gay wizard fluff, ✨Their First Kiss✨, just a lakeside Drarry date

A/N: To all this beautiful gayness in the world. Lol- And to my gay bestie. Faun, you'll always be the most casually beautiful, Pinterest-worthy girl in the world ✨ Have a lily from Drarry xx 💐

It was late at night, he could tell that much from the cold breeze humming from the lakeside. The Golden Trio had just returned from their first and probably last visit to Malfoy Manor. Harry Potter had just climbed into bed after a most tragic burial, and lay there staring up at the canvas roof of the tent. 

Merlin’s pants, it had been one mad rollercoaster ride. From being nearly caught by Greyback’s searchers… to Hermione’s hex-disguise on him… to Malfoy lying to save him… to Pettigrew meeting his long overdue end… to Dobby's sacrifice... 

Harry hardly had tears left tonight. 

The grief and exhaustion was too much. It was so bad for his friends that both had fallen asleep fast. Somehow, he was the only one up.

Nothing new there, I suppose.

The after-effects of Bellatrix Black's torture had been enough to make Hermione pass out onto Ron's lap over dinner. He'd left them both to their own side of the tent, a tinge of satisfaction at the whole ordeal bringing the two closer. 

But he couldn't ignore how it only made him feel lonelier. 

He shook his head and sat up, giving himself a slow moment of silence to see if he might just feel drowsy. Sleep never came. 

He slipped out of the sheets, dragged his feet outside. They had run out of whatever sleeping potion Hermione had, and the muggle sleeping pills were left at their last hideout.

Hands in his pockets, feet buried in the gravel (he ditched his shoes, too much noise), he took in a deep breath of the moist lakeside air and looked up at the sky. The crescent moon hung low overhead, lighting up the blanket of dark grey clouds. The sky wasn’t half as gloomy here as it was back in England. It felt nice. The warmth and brilliance of the moon was sort of a reassurance that he was safe here. That his friends were safe here. 

All at once, he was aware of a presence that radiated a feeling of security: a strong feeling of “I’m safe now” washed through him. 

Which was new given all he ever thought about was his friends’ safety. Others’. Most of whom he lost. 

Ugh, quit brooding, Harry. Let’s just… take a breather, he chided himself, walking across the banks to the little elf's grave. He could feel the warm presence still though he convinced himself it was merely the moon. His fingers wrapped tight around the wand just in case the presence was... deceiving. Another lie. 

Nothing had happened by the time he subconsciously stopped beside Dobby's grave. "Hello, Dobby."

The clouds cleared up a bit to shed more moonlight along the lake banks, and that was when he saw. Strings of elegant, shimmering flowers were strung around the headstone, wrapping up the rock firmly and yet tenderly. They were creepers of the finest, sparkliest lilies. The green of their stems and leaves, however, were an oddly familiar shade of dark green... and the flowers themselves had a magical glow to their even more familiar pristine, platinum white.

Years of duelling and fighting took action and made Harry grip his wand ever so tight ––

But one day of seeing the hidden truth kept him from attacking. 

So this was the “comforting presence” lurking in the dark… he lowered his wand. 

Harry heard a soft exhale. “You're not going to Sectumsempra me?”

“...you saved my life.” 

“Hm. Pity.” 

“What are you doing here?" The burning question spilt out of his chapped lips. What abominable reason could possibly bring... HIM... of all people... to this place, at this hour?

Draco Malfoy scoffed. “He was my elf before yours.”

Well, he had a point. Harry waited for any other remarks, any of the usual snarky comments... but none came. So he nodded, sat cross-legged on the sand, subtly shifting to the side. Draco walked into the light at last and Harry caught a glimpse of green turtleneck sweater and black coat. Draco pondered for a minute before sitting right beside the Gryffindor. 

Silence.

Both wizards sat there on the sand, staring at the white lilies glowing in the moonlight. Both are nothing but young boys being shoved into a war, left without a choice because of their parents. Both are young adults that were once merely children playing with Dobby secretly, in Malfoy Manor or Privet Drive: because neither family would have allowed it. 

Perhaps they both saw this at last. Perhaps they finally grew up. Perhaps that was why Harry waved his hand for a quiet wandless Accio charm. 

"Show-off," Draco mumbled when a Firewhiskey bottle flew somewhere out of Ron's secret stash and into Harry's grip. Harry held it out to his once arch-nemesis. The latter hesitated, staring silently at the dark, calloused hand before him.

Harry placed the bottle down, rolling up his sleeves.

“Those flowers—“

“They’re called lilies, scarhead.” 

“Right. They’re… nice.” 

“If that’s your best attempt at complimenting my magic then no thank you.” 

Harry sighed, shaking his head and taking another sip. He HAD to be drunk to be doing any of this. “They’re beautiful. Very.” 

“…Thanks.”

“But honestly, what’s with the green sweater?” Harry grinned. “Your mania over your house is far from just pride at this point—“

“It’s my favourite colour. For other reasons. Got a problem?” 

“What reasons to make the lilies look that greenish?”

“That was for you, you blasted idiot.” 

Green to signify Harry being Dobby’s closest friend? Or green lilies to comfort him? The way this is going, I’ll never know, the green-eyed son of Lily thought to himself, gulping down another two sips of Firewhiskey to calm his spinning head. 

Back to the silence. 

A slow breeze washed over them, splashing the string of lilies with a bit of moisture, sweeping over the grave. Both Gryffindor and Slytherin watched the draught glitter gold with sand; waltzing across the lake, away from them, over to the hillside. The lakewater splashed against the rocks, tide rising a little with the wind current. The gust of wind took away a lot more than just a pile of sand. Hatred… Coldness... 

He downed some more alcohol to hide the sudden smile. Silence was exactly what worked with the both of them, he concluded. They’d probably never be able to talk like normal humans.

“What are you, daydreaming?” 

Yep. This is exactly what I meant. “No, I realised we can’t ever talk without sounding like we’re duelling.” 

“‘Duelling’. A decent way to phrase it. I’d vote for ‘murdering each other’.” 

“Well what do you want me to do, apologise? You started it!” 

“You’re the idiot who decided to go against all Slytherins just because of whatever we did as eleven-year-olds on the first day of school!” 

“Well I’m sorry but you were being ridiculously rude—“

“I just wanted to befriend you, but all you did was scowl at me, what—“

“Draco.” 

“… stop that,” the blond looked away, tossing a handful of grass at him. 

Harry blinked in confusion, seeing the tips of the other’s ears gleaming red. “I’m sick of calling you your father’s name, it’s stupid,” he shook his head, delighted he really was drunk. “You’re nothing like him.” 

“He reminds me of that everyday, thank you very much.”

“Ugh, I meant you’re more…” Better? Understanding? Handso— What— Harry, get yourself together. “Humane. Than him. You’re better.” 

The red crept a little down his neck. “Whatever. Don’t expect me to call you Harry.” 

“That would need a miracle,” Harry laughed. “But Draco, I did want to be a friend, you know. I was new to the world, and you were the first I saw at Diagon Alley. When I saw you again at Hogwarts, I was happy, actually.” He scoffed sourly. “Until you decided to ridicule my first friend, that is…” 

Draco remained silent, drawing doodles on the sand, having plucked off all the grass nearby.

“You know, your sticky glossy hair never helped your impression, I hated the sleek look.” 

That won a laugh. “Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah. Looks much better now though.” 

Draco laughed again, nervously ruffling the back of his head. “You’re drunk bad, aren’t you?” 

Harry shrugged and offered the bottle to him. 

“I don’t want Firewhiskey.” 

“Then what do you want?” 

The sparkling platinum head snapped up in surprise, eyeing him to see if he was joking around or if the tone really did mean anything this time. Draco found the eyes a bit too intoxicating, more so than the whiskey bottle below, so he diverted his gaze away from their sharp green and down to the pink, injured lips.

…Bad idea.

“Eyes up here, Draco,” Harry smirked. 

“You’re seriously more drunk than I am,” Draco shook his mane. “If you’re such a bloody Gryffindor and you know what I want then I dare you to—“ 

His slurring words cut off as a pair of hands cupped his face, pulling him closer. Soft, chapstick-covered lips crashed against chapped, dry ones. On reflex, Draco punched his shoulder and grabbed him by the collar, but when Harry didn’t relent — or rather kissed him a little harder — he let go. Let go of the eight years of tension and sat there, eyes shut, drinking it in. He couldn’t help but smirk: Harry seemed to be enjoying himself. 

“What are you grinning for? Am I that bad at it?” Harry whispered, pulling away panting. 

“Hm, fairly tolerable.” 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

“Means you need more practice,” the Slytherin laughed. Wrapping one protective hand around the back of his head and the other cupping his chin, he pushed him onto the sand. Lips felt each other at first, before their tongues danced in a frenzy, like the draught of wind with its pile of sand. Harry found himself straddled and locked in place by a pair of perfect pearl-white arms. 

Not that he wanted to move away from this anyway.

Draco didn’t stop either, not until Harry tapped his back to come up for air. The blond rolled off the body underneath him and sat on the sand. Harry sat up to find him deep in thought, head hanging, skin aglow from the rising sun. “Draco?” 

“I have to go.” 

Harry felt his throat constrict, but nodded his agreement nonetheless. “You can’t stay? You’re not really with them… right?” 

Draco shook his head, openly denying it for the first time in his life. “I have no choice, just like you. Mum…” he bit his tongue. 

As it finally dawned on Harry why Draco was doing all this, he sighed. “I see. She’d be looking for you then,” he pointed to the specks of sunlight dotting the horizon. 

Draco nodded. “I…” He didn’t know what to say, or rather how to. So he rose to his feet, dusted off the sand. 

Harry stood too. “Erm,” he held Draco’s shoulders still to leave a light peck on his cheek. The Slytherin blushed hard, punching him lightly in the stomach while the other laughed. “I’ll see you around, Potter.” 

“Someday,” Harry nodded back.

And just like the wind, he disappeared.

“Thank you, Dobby,” he whispered, patting the grave. Because had it not been for Dobby, the Gryffindor hero who lost almost everyone, had just found another person to love, to live for.

[eww-y-tho]

✨Miserable Thoughts At Around Midnight Coming From Existing With Two Narcissistic Parents✨

Pt. 1

I'm starting a series that I don't think many people will see, but this is probably going to be just for me to get my sadness and trauma out there somewhere whenever I'm thinking too much to sleep, and idk someone might be comforted by it in a weird way.

I'm just feeling very crushed right now and need an outlet. Ignore me if this, including other sensitive topics, such as attempted $u!c!d3 or inappropriate conversations with minors, is triggering for you.

For some context, my parents are divorced and living in separate houses. I'm living with my father and visiting my mother regularly. My sister is studying psychology and we've been deducing our parent's behaviour.

One of the toughest parts of having narcissistic parents is recognizing the patterns they use to manipulate you. I'm going to be talking about my mother first. Comparing the behaviour in my mother's texts between us sisters indicates a serious difference in interactions.

My mother has a history of putting me on a pedestal, calling me the light of her life, her baby, and the only reason she was married to my father. She "needed to stay with him" so that I "had someone to take care of me until I was an adult."

As a result, her subsequent neglect of anything other than spewing her poison was crushing. Me and my sister were surfing through the bins that contained crafts, art, and any nicknacks we collected over the years, and I have 20 separate, very crude cards to my mother that just say "I love you," so you can see how much I wanted to please her.

She talked about her sex life with my father to me in my tween years, plus my sense of wanting to age faster so my mother could finally leave the marriage really fucked me up. She would infantilize me and break down my confidence. Being homeschooled didn't help. I felt completely isolated.

My only saving grace was the internet while my sister left for uni. My sister had more signs of complete neglect, though. She has mental and physical health issues that are tied to parental neglect and a lot of her childhood memories were spent alone.

My sister showed me her text messages, and hers are drier than the Sahara, my mother only sporadically asks for favours that indicate a lack of care. My texts with my mother are drowned in red heart emojis, weird gifs for the context of the conversation, and a regular daily check-in if I drank my pill, what I'm doing, if I ate, what I ate, asking for any artwork WIPs I have, etc.

While that might sound sweet at first, it's very clearly a manipulation tactic, as she constantly drowns me in affection because she still thinks I can be controlled by all of her manipulative behaviour and my childhood urge to get validation from her.

It's very hard to see, which is why this speculation makes you feel like an asshole sometimes. But my sister and I have been burned by her so many times, she's ignored our advice in the past too much, pulled the victim card at so many inappropriate points, and she's actively engaged in destructive behaviour that caused some serious trauma. It's hard to believe she has good intentions.

God, I barely talked about all the things she's done to me and this is very surface-level, but it will go a lot more in-depth in other posts with examples as well as with my father so you know I'm not crazy.

I'll add a small tidbit here (that's not so small now) because it's plagued me for a few days recently:

My sister had a conversation with my mother about the four years my sister was in university, also known as the hardest point of my life. It's hard to admit, but around 3 years in, I attempted $u!c!d3. It didn't really threaten my life, but the intent was there.

My sister leaving really took a toll on my mental state, and living with two narcissistic parents made it worse. I only Skyped my sister on the weekends because I didn't want to bother her while she was in uni, so the only relationship I was active in was with my mother, as I didn't really have an excuse to not talk to her.

It was really damaging, and just remembering those years makes me cry. Back to the conversation. My sister told me that my mother actually told her that she was glad my sister left because that made me and my mother closer. I had a freakout and cried real hard when my sister told me that, because one, she was truly blind to the suffering I experienced, two, she just said that my sister was a barrier between me and her, and three, "close?" if anything, I became more and more distant as time passed.

Not even mentioning how damaging that was to my sister, as she told me that she didn't react to the blatant lack of care, but that sentence mixed with all the shit she did made her feel like she failed in protecting me, which was a driving force she had throughout my childhood. That stung.

Anyway, that's enough misery for now. I'm done.