#I’d write it myself but I’ve never finished writing a fic in my life

[siiiiideblooooog]

Can’t believe Dune Part Two has been out for like 4 days and no one on AO3 has written 30k of dom Emperor Paul Muad’Dib giving masochist sub Feyd-Rautha the hardcore BDSM life of his dreams

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

Using all my bisexual powers to write a tomshiv/tomgreg oneshot smut fic with a reference to Temple Grandin; talk about Succ Sundays!

[sansaorgana]

Can you write a cute one with a bit of smut (if you're comfortable with that obviously) with Buck and female reader where he sneaks her into his room when he knows all the others are away?

hi, love! 😍 I loved the idea of sneaking in and it starts smutty indeed but the ending is spoiled by Bucky 🤣 sorry not sorry, I tend to imagine Reader's life with these two like it's a sitcom sometimes 😁

my inbox is open for blurb/short fic requests for major cleven 🤗

🔞 THIS FIC IS 18+ 🔞

Buck was the only guy who didn’t go out to the pub in town on Friday night. The boys had a whole weekend off and almost all of them decided to celebrate by going to the local town and flirting with the girls while getting drunk. Buck was not a drinker and he already had his girl on the base with him.

“If you stay here like a loser,” Bucky teased him before walking out, “then at least sneak her in here and have some good time, too,” he winked as some man behind him whistled and Buck sighed. “You don’t want to sleep here alone, do you?”

“Get out already,” Buck pushed him out and watched the rest of the boys disappear. He shook his head to himself but the truth was that he found the idea tempting indeed.

“Oh, you stayed?” You asked Buck, surprised to see him alone by the table during dinnertime. “I thought you’d go out with the boys,” you chuckled and took a seat next to him.

“I’d get bored there,” he admitted and you tilted your head to take a better look at him because he sounded like he was crazy. He smiled at you.

“You’re adorable, Gale,” you told him and you fixed his hair a little. His friends were not there to tease him about it and your friends had already known about you two anyway. Women’s gossip travelled faster than any plane. “But you don’t have to miss out on parties. I wouldn’t mind you going out,” you told him.

“I really didn’t want to go,” he assured you. “But you know… I have a whole room for myself tonight.”

You took the hand away and focused on the plate in front of you. You had to admit, you got a little shy at his insinuation. You had been sort of dating for a few weeks now but you had never had a time completely alone for yourselves. Not like that, at least. Of course there had been a few heated kisses in the dark corners here and there. But not much more than that.

“I’m so sorry…” Buck blushed. “God, I’m sorry… Forget about it… Doll, can we pretend I’ve never said that?” He put his hand on your thigh and you moved it away. He looked even more scared and awkward now.

“No, we can’t pretend,” you told him and dared to lay your eyes on him again. “Because I don’t want to pretend you haven’t said that. I think we can do it,” you nodded your head nervously.

Yes, yes, your mother wouldn’t be proud of you at that moment but for God’s sake you wanted something from this life, too, and that man could go down any day.

You loved him, too.

Buck furrowed his brows and then he gave you a wide smile as he finally realised that you had just agreed to spend the night with him.

“I will tell my friends that I have to work late. So they will go to sleep before I join them without knowing when exactly I’ll be back. I’ll tell Colonel Harding I’ll help him with the papers…” you started.

“No, no, he will keep you there until morning,” Buck shook his head.

“No, he won’t be there.”

“But he will realise you weren’t working if the papers aren’t ready tomorrow,” Buck pointed out.

“You silly, I have already finished them,” you rolled your eyes. “I always do more than I tell him so I can have free time here and there. And then I pretend I’ve just done it although it was already done a few days before. He’s been played like that many times by me,” you chuckled.

“You cunning little angel,” Buck pinched your thigh under the table and you giggled. “Let’s meet at eleven by the bathroom.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” you teased him.

Your heart was pounding in your chest as you were walking down the dark corridor. You were wearing nothing but a coat over your nightgown and now you regretted it. You wanted to surprise Buck but you were cold and you started to feel like an idiot, too. What if he would find it funny… or not ladylike…?

You almost decided to turn around and change before going back when you felt someone grabbing your arm and pulling you. You squealed but your lips got covered by a familiar hand.

“Shh, little one,” Buck whispered into your ear. “I’ve heard your footsteps,” he told you and removed the hand from your mouth.

“You scared me, Buck!” You whispered.

“I’m sorry, doll. Now, come with me,” he held your hand and guided you further into the corridor. You couldn’t go back to put more clothes on. You took a deep breath in and followed him.

Buck pushed the door leading to the room where the men had been sleeping, making sure to be as quiet as possible. You were alone there but someone could be walking outside. He closed the door behind you and led you to his bed.

When you were finally there, he turned on the small lamp which light was dim and wouldn’t alarm anyone walking by. After all, it was a free weekend and he was able to stay up late reading a book or something.

Then he turned around and took a look at you. He was wearing a T-shirt and pants and he smiled gently as noticed your nervousness.

“We don’t have to… do anything. We can just spend time together,” he told you and sat down on his bed. “What would you like to do?”

“I’m cold,” you admitted.

“Well, then, come here,” he invited you and you bit on your lower lip before gaining the courage to finally open your coat and let it fall to the floor.

Buck’s eyes widened as he looked up at you wearing nothing but a nightgown. He swallowed thickly as his lips opened slightly. The white nightgown looked perfect on your body in the dim light of his lamp and your nipples were hard and perky from the cold. He reached out for you as if he tried to find out if you were real.

“Can you warm me up, Major?” You teased as you crawled up on the bed to curl yourself in his arms.

“I sure can try,” Buck kissed your temple and reached out for the blanket to put it around you. You laid your head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat as your fingers started to make circles on his stomach. “Are you warmer now, love?” He looked down to see your face.

“Yes,” you whispered. “I haven’t felt so warm and safe in a long while,” you admitted.

“War is no place for a sweetheart like you,” he said and rubbed your back.

“But war is here anyway. War is in my country, it’s in my world. I can’t escape it. And here I can at least… do something,” you looked up to meet the gaze of his beautiful blue eyes. “It has nothing to do with courage, you know. If we get bombed and I die here, not many people will be sad. You don’t find wives and mothers here.”

“I will certainly be sad,” Buck put his finger on your lips to caress them gently. “Let’s not talk about it tonight.”

You nodded your head and let his fingertips trace the corners of your mouth. You opened your lips slightly and he froze for a while, trying to read on your face if you wanted what he had thought that you wanted. Eventually, you gave him a slight nod and he slowly put his fingers inside your mouth.

You sucked on them and looked up to give him doe eyes. His pupils darkened and you smirked at the sight. You felt his muscles tightening, too.

You raised your hands to grab his wrist and pull his fingers out of your mouth.

“Do you want to touch me?” You asked.

“Yes, please,” he nodded and you giggled at how well-mannered he was.

You guided both of his hands on your breasts and you leaned back to get in a more comfortable position for you to rest and for him to grope you.

His long fingers worked on the bow on your chest and when the ribbons went loose, the nightgown opened, exposing your bare breasts for him to touch gently. You moaned at the sensation and he shushed you before burying his face in your neck to place small kisses and suck on your skin.

His hands were warm and big and he was using them so gently. His goal was not to play with your breasts mindlessly, but to fondle them and explore every inch of the exposed skin. You didn’t feel like a piece of meat, you felt like a sculpture being admired by an artist. And it was making you feel warm and wet between your legs, too. You began to slowly rub your thighs together to get some friction.

Buck moved his head up to place kisses on your jaw now and you reached back to caress his hair and pull him closer.

You wanted to ask him to touch you down there but you felt too shy to do that. You let out a whine instead.

“What is it, little one?” Buck hummed and laid his eyes on your face. He wanted to make sure you were alright. You looked at him, pleadingly. At first he was confused but then he looked down and noticed your crossed thighs. “Do you want me to touch you there, darling?” He asked and you nodded shyly, feeling your cheeks heating up. “Alright then,” he kissed your forehead. “Come here,” he helped you to move down in his arms so you both were laying down now.

You pulled your nightgown up – shyly but eagerly, too. And this time the eagerness won with the shyness. You felt as if you were about to explode at any given moment. You had no privacy on this base until now so you couldn’t remember the last time you would touch yourself. And having Major Buck Cleven touching you was enough to set your whole body on fire.

Buck raised your thigh gently and put it over his waist to get a better access to you and he carefully touched your clit for the first time. He was visibly surprised at how swollen and wet you already were.

You let out a moan and tugged on his shirt.

“Buck…”

“What’s wrong, doll?” He stopped all the movement to make sure you were alright.

“I don’t want to have sex,” you admitted shyly and he furrowed his brows. “You can touch me but I don’t want to… I don’t want to go further. Not yet,” you told him. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be,” he shook his head and kissed the top of yours. “Don’t be, little one.”

“I can touch you, too,” you proposed.

“Only if you feel like it,” he said.

“I do,” you assured him. “You can go back to touching me,” you added with a whine and he chuckled before letting his fingertips brush your clit gently.

God, he was a tease.

You focused on the bulge in his pants instead and you decided to tease, too. It was only fair. So you started with caressing it through the material of his pants, focusing on the tip for a while and then going all the way up. In the meantime, you were losing focus a few times from all the sensations he was making you feel between your legs.

“If you keep doing it like this, darling, I’m going to finish in my pants,” Buck chuckled.

“Really?” You looked up with a smile. “I want to see.”

“Oh, you’re naughty,” he shook his head and you felt a light slap on your pussy that made you widen your eyes. It was both slightly painful and incredibly pleasurable.

“Oh, so are you, Major,” you breathed out.

“You like that?” He asked and slapped you again as you whined. “You do.”

You both chuckled and leaned in for a kiss as your hands went back to rubbing and teasing. You were so lost in each other, you didn’t hear someone walking inside.

It was the loud bang of the door that made you jump up on the bed. You grabbed the blanket to cover yourself, absolutely terrified.

Thankfully, it was only Bucky. And he was completely drunk.

“Good evenin’,” he slurred out with a smirk, barely standing on his feet.

“What are you doing here?!” Buck snapped at him.

“Don’t mind me, I don’t have any idea what’s going on around me,” he admitted. “I think I wanted to start a fight, they threw me out. Some nice girl from the town gave me a ride home… To the base, I mean… So yeah… I’m banned from that pub,” he laid on his bed and started snoring half a minute later.

“I’ve never seen anyone falling asleep so fast!” You gasped.

“That’s Bucky for you,” Buck sighed.

“What now?” You asked.

“Well, he’s asleep…”

“No,” you interrupted him. “I can stay here for the night but I will not… No, it’s out of question,” you shook your head.

“Fine,” Buck sighed and left the bed. “Give me a moment, I need to go to the bathroom and cool down.”

“Yeah, okay,” you nodded your head and watched him walk away as you worked on your nightgown to tie the ribbons again in a bow.

When you were finished with that, you stood up and began turning Bucky around.

“What are you doing?” Buck asked you as he had just come back.

“He won’t snore so much this way and he won’t choke on his own vomit either,” you told him. “Help me, will you? He’s quite heavy.”

Buck helped you with that and he covered his friend with his blanket, too.

“It’s like tucking a kid to bed,” you giggled.

“Perhaps not the last time for us if we’re lucky,” Buck looked at you and your cheeks went hot at his words.

“Perhaps not…” you chuckled and extended your hands to take him back to bed and cuddle for the rest of the night.

Cuddling was nice, too.

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

[mayhaps-a-blog]

Tag 9 people you want to know better

I was tagged by @life-jim-but-not-as-we-know-it :) thanks for the tag!

3 ships: Huh, well, I don’t tend to write a lot of ships myself but they’re certainly fun to read! I’d say Thrawn/Pellaeon (Star Wars) is a favorite, then maybe Sherlock/Watson (ACD Holmes specifically), and Thrawn/Car’das. Honorary mention goes to Thrawn/Nuso Esva!

1st ever ship: Well, it would have to be Steve/Tony (Marvel); that’s the fic I first started reading and that was my friend who recommended all that fic’s favorite, so that’s what I read! It was fun - back in the Avengers-Found-Family days, when I could still stand the movies.

Last song: had one of my somewhat random character playlists on while working this afternoon, so it’s Tell God and the Devil by Solas.

Last movie: Knives Out, which I finally got around to watching while home over Thanksgiving. It was a good one!

Currently reading: Just finished 1491 and 1493 by Charles Mann - nonfiction about Native Americans before and after Columbus. I’m hoping to pick up Star Wars: Rogue Planet - I finally found someone who’s read it and they enjoyed it, so I don’t have to worry it’s going to be unreadably terrible and I can finally get the lore I’m using for D&D from the source instead of Wookiepedia!

Currently watching: Whatever episode of Rebels I think will get me through my writer’s block on this one fic. Ezra’s serious voice is so hard to capture!

Currently consuming: a nice herbal tea

Currently craving: nothing at the moment, but I’ve been off and on craving pizza for a few weeks and haven’t gotten around to fulfilling it. Yet.

I love these, they’re super fun! I never know who to tag though... let’s go with: @ele-millennial-weirdo, @handbaskethell, @evarinaandlat, @jedihlaalu, @emp-roar, @nekobakaz, @jewelliffer, @loud-shimo-screes, @grand-admiral-lawn. Only if you want to! But if you want to, go for it, whether I’ve tagged you or not :)

[01zfan]

wow you guys…i hit 1000 followers sometime this week! im sorry for not noticing earlier but wow im so grateful!

i seriously didn’t expect this account to even break 100. i was just writing as a little escape from my normal life. i got into riize pretty recently after losing interest in kpop as a whole for a really long time. i was a carat and nctzen (a fan of many groups, ive been into kpop since 2014 ish) but lost interest and just kinda focused on myself for a long time. i finished school, made friends, started working, started going to school AGAIN, picked up hobbies, moved away from my hometown to pursue my passion, etc.

i kinda thought that part of my life was over but riize literally stole my heart from the moment i got into them. i havent felt this way about a group for a long time and one day it just got a little too much so i wrote about separate fics for my top two (eunseok and sungchan). and you guys liked it! and you guys wanted more! and you guys commented on it and sent me asks hyping up my writing! and you guys followed me! and reblogged my stuff! and now we are here!

seriously would’ve never thought i’d have so many receptive, sweet, and sincere interactions on the stuff i write. i was seriously expecting to speak into the void like i’ve seen happen with alot of writers for fandoms. i write screenplays and sometimes its hard to remember why i like writing so much. you guys reminded me why i want to write for the rest of my life. we fangirl and talk about it together and have built a community over shared love and words. isn’t that so wonderful? i want to repay it back with good alot of good writing ^^

if you’ve been here since third and/or bad idea, right i want to say i love you so much seriously. i remember the accounts of the first people to ever follow me and comment on my stuff. i recognize the users of people who silently support me and i love you guys too heh.

if you’ve ever sent me a request thank you for giving me inspiration! i’m a big believer that on this earth one of the few things that belong to us and us alone are our ideas. it’s something no one can take from you—so thank you for giving me something so precious and trusting me to do it justice. i hope to continue making you guys happy! and if you just followed me, welcome!! i have alot of stuff to read and i plan on releasing more!

i’m working on argue with you pt three (planning on that dropping on wednesday!) and other stuff, like requests and sacrilegious so i have alot of stuff coming! thank you for your patience and thank you again so much for following me and supporting this account. you are all so special and dear to meeeeee :3. lets continue to love riize and fangirl togetherrrrr.

[you-remind-me-of-the-babe]

It’s high time I’ve done another rec post, so here I am, coming in hot with six WIPs you should be reading right now.

Before I get into the fics themselves, a word about reading WIPs. Look, I know it’s tempting to wait until a fic is complete. Not to mention the fact that there is an absolutely staggering amount of amazing fics out there. I’m a slow reader myself, and my TBR list, even after reading fics for nearly three years, is so damn long. I could easily sit back and only read older completed fics and probably never finish them all.

But. I love a good WIP fic almost like nothing else. Yes, binging a completed fic in one sitting can leave you flying high. But following a fic as it’s being written, interacting with said fic and cheering that writer on, gives me so much gratification. Getting that email notification for a new chapter, and feeling so eager to read the new update, is an absolute joy. I highly recommend.

Lastly, this is not an exhaustive list of current Carry On WIPs, but merely a small sampling. And if anyone has any good WIP recs for me, I’d love to hear them!

Only Creatures, WIP, currently 52k, rated E by @emeryhall

In this canon divergent story, Simon breaks up with Baz at the end of WS, leading Baz to become a recluse and a poet, growing a beard and hiding out in Scotland. When he finds out Simon is a camboy for a website called Only Creatures, they tentatively start wanking chatting again. Come for Baz’s Unabomber style, stay for the second chances and explorations of intimacy.

Everything Emery writes is amazing, and this fic is no exception. It’s a little absurd, incredibly witty and heartfelt, with a cast of OCs that quietly shine. This story has cracked my heart open and is slowly putting it back together. You won’t regret reading this one.

Hiding Out in the Open, WIP, currently 48k, rated M by @cutestkilla

Another canon divergence story, this time where Simon and Baz never got together after their truce in 8th year. After the SSR debacle, they meet again and this time start connecting over a shared interest in a psychology podcast.

This fic does an excellent job of having these boys dig into their trauma and issues via the podcast topics, letting them heal and connect, while also letting the reader marvel at the heavy Snowbaz vibes of every podcast episode. It’s so smart, I’m telling you.

I Knew A Boy, I Knew A Man, WIP, currently 83k, rated T by @shrekgogurt

This football AU has Baz and Simon ending up on the same premiere league team, years after playing together at school. The author gives us flashbacks in every chapter of their frought relationship as teens, before progressing the story in the present.

I can’t believe I haven’t done an official rec post for this fic yet. Mary writes the sports bits of this story so vividly, and the flashback bookends of each chapter so perfectly tie into the current narrative, you’ll marvel at the complex way it moves the story forward. Seriously, one of my all time faves.

Basil Pitch’s Diary, WIP, currently 32k, rated T by @bookish-bogwitch

Watford-era Baz starts a diary on January 1st, determined to record his progress on various resolutions, namely, getting over Simon Snow.

This fic has the incredible humor of Bridget Jones’s Diary and will introduce you to your favorite version of acerbic, self-depricating teenage Baz. He will own your soul. There is no other outcome of reading this fic.

The Eternal Life of Baz Pitch, WIP, currently 25k, rated M by @monbons

This story watches a three hundred year old Baz, cursed after desperately trying to find a way to be loved on his own terms, wandering aimlessly in present times until he finds a certain blue eyed barista who has an unusual reaction to meeting him.

This AU is based on The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, but you don’t have to have read the book to become immersed in this achingly sad but thoroughly sweet story of hope and second chances.

Episode 6: Apres la Pluie, le Beau Temps, WIP, currently 10k, rated M by @artsyunderstudy

Another installment in the Star Trek series for the lovely @raenestee, this series is the epitome of following a good WIP story. Several authors have contributed to this sci-fi beast, and the progression of the story through several different writers’ hands is an absolute delight to watch. (And, as one of the authors, to participate in.)

If you aren’t yet reading it, this is a great time to join. We’re right in the middle of the story, leaving the four couples in Ashton’s very capable hands as she expertly guides them through various communication breakdowns. If you know nothing of Star Trek, don’t let that stop you from joining a thoroughly entertaining epic of a story.

[roomwithanopenfire]

Six Sentence Sunday

Happy Sunday everyone!! Thanks for the tags @blackberrysummerblog and @artsyunderstudy!!

This week I’ve done the big three: writing, editing, and ignoring my wips, with perhaps a bit more of the last one than I’d like. Most of my writing this week has been for an exchange fic for a different fandom, which I finally finished the rough draft of. Cue the celebration. However, even if I wanted to share anything from that, I can’t, it must remain hush-hush, but I am getting pretty excited to share it (and way more excited about receiving my own exchange fic back, this whole thing is very fun).

I’ve written less than 300 words on my COBB this week, and none of them are good, but I have gotten some editing done of Proof of Life. I can’t share any more snippets of the next chapter though because I’ve shared too much already. So instead, I figured I’d do a bit of a process post this time around, because I always love reading those. Check that out under the cut! (and i'm sorry this is long, i still have not learned brevity)

So my editing process isn’t too crazy, and is brought to you almost entirely by google docs comments. I also use the word ‘editing’ very loosely to encompass rewriting, revising, and proofreading. Sometimes editing means completely rewriting a scene/section, sometimes it just means switching around a couple of words or cleaning up a sentence. 

Mostly, I try not to take everything so seriously, because I know that I could edit something forever and ever and never post it if I let myself get too carried away. So I try to keep everything pretty chill. So here’s my steps I go through for each chapter that I edit. 

Step One: Reread the whole chapter. While I do this, I’ll leave comments on big picture things. “Maybe move this scene into the next chapter” or “The dialogue in this scene feels stilted” but I don’t add a lot of comments at this point. Once I’m done with this I’ll copy over any comments I had on the first draft or the beta reader copy over into the ‘draft two’ document. 

Step Two: COMMENTS. Again, my fics are brought to you by google doc comments. I like to go through from the bottom up, reading scene by scene and leaving comments on pretty much every single sentence. 

A lot of the time (read: most of the time) these are really vague like:

And sometimes these are more detailed like:

And occasionally these are compliments

Step Three: Once the whole chapter is filled with comments, I go through scene by scene (in whatever order speaks to me), and rewrite, edit, or fix sections. This part I find really fun, because I’m taking parts that aren’t good yet and I’m making them better. I love fixing things and getting rid of all the comments. It typically ends up being a lot of  rewriting, but I always finish a scene feeling better about it then when I started.

For example, here’s the draft one vs. draft two version of a snippet from the first chapter of Proof of Life. This is one of the scenes I pretty much rewrote. Others look a lot more similar to their original versions.

Original:

Edited:

Step Four: Then before I post a chapter, I’ll read through the whole thing and sometimes find smaller bits to fix. Then I’ll run it through a grammar checker and ignore half of their suggestions in the name of ✨style ✨.

Overall, I feel like I have a pretty basic editing strategy and I’m really pleased with it. Even though sometimes I feel like more robust edits would make everything way better, it’s a good mix of fixing things but not spending too much time on it. I remember I spent like a month on editing the very first fic I posted at that was only 6k words. If I kept doing that for everything, I'd never post anything at all. With fanfiction, I know that y'all will be nice to me even though it's never perfect <333

Tags and Hellos!! (I'm unsure if we still need the spaces, but i've been burned too many times lol)

@you-remind-me-of-the-babe @m1ndwinder @facewithoutheart @run-for-chamo-miles @raenestee

@onepintobean @prettygoododds @noblecorgi @hushed-chorus @angelsfalling16

@thewholelemon @monbons @shrekgogurt @brendughh @hertragedyconnoisseur

@beastmonstertitan @valeffelees @horsesarenotdeer @drowninginships @supercutedinosaurs

@fiend-for-culture @rimeswithpurple @cutestkilla @alexalexinii @ileadacharmedlife

@arthurkko @rbkzz @skeedelvee @bookish-bogwitch @brilla-brilla-estrellita

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

I'm loving all your wonderful fics. If you are still interested in prompts, would you consider one that relates to your recent sick fic: Ed telling Stede about the past situation where he had to juggle leading his crew through a storm while stitching himself up?

Ough yes good prompt!! This one made me sad, I love it.

Send me a prompt and I'll write a 1k word fic! (still accepting prompts btw, can't promise I'll get to all of them but if I'm inspired I'm doing it!)

--

Ed told the story like he thought it was supposed to be funny.

“So there we are,” he said, leaning over the dinner table. They’d just finished eating, and Ed had lit his pipe, and yeah, at first, the story had been fun. “Now, remember, I’ve been a captain for all of-”

“Three months,” Stede nodded, demonstrating his active listening to Ed’s story.

“Three months,” Ed repeated. “Maybe ninety days strung together, right? I’m barely twenty-five. Barely even had Blackbeard’s black beard. Mostly just a scraggly thing stuck to my chin. And that raid fuckin’ rung me out. But I made it! Not a single casualty on my crew, not one.”

“Bet the other crew couldn’t say the same,” Stede laughed, and Ed laughed with him, and Stede was dreamily thinking about how Ed must have looked, so young but already so brilliant, so confident, so-

“But I didn’t know then what I know now,” Ed went on, taking a couple puffs from his pipe. “And I didn’t notice my helmsman pointing us right into the squall. Barely had time to get away from the ship we’d been scrapping with before we hit it, head-on.”

Stede shivered. Ed’s storytelling voice never failed to capture his attention.

“And, remember,” Ed continued, “I’m trying to hide that I’m bleeding all over the fuckin’ place.”

“Wait,” Stede interrupted, raising a hand before Ed could continue. “Bleeding?”

“Well, yeah, I told you the raid rung me out pretty good,” Ed shrugged. “I’d been so busy watching what my crew were doing I was hardly paying attention to myself. Reckon I still - yeah, look.”

Ed adjusted in his seat, hitching up his shirt and pulling the waistband of his pants down with his thumb, running his finger along the faded, jagged scar that ran from right under his ribs to to the top of his hip. 

“Got me pretty good,” Ed said with a chuckle.

Stede kissed his fingers, then reached out to press them to the old scar, and Ed covered Stede’s hand with his own to keep it there.

“What did you do?” Stede asked.

“What I had to,” Ed said, pulling his shirt back down, taking another puff of his pipe, and getting right back into his storytelling voice. “I’d been thinking I needed to go and stitch myself up, right? But by the time we’re in it, rain’s already coming down in sheets, and this crew is still new to my ship, and they’re new to me, and I’m new to them. So I tied myself to the wheel, and-”

Stede felt his eyes get wider and the pain in his chest get deeper as Ed went on with the story, telling Stede about how he’d tied himself to the wheel to avoid sliding right off, shouting orders to his crew, yelling at his first mate to take some younger sailors who were panicking below decks before they got everyone killed.

He told him about how he’d only stopped once he was starting to get dizzy from how much he was bleeding. He’d made up some excuse to run below decks, grab a sewing needle, and get about halfway through sewing himself up before someone called for him.

He told him how he’d had to cling to the railing for dear life because his legs were so shaky.

He’d tied a scrap of canvas, torn from a sail by the winds, around his middle to try and control the bleeding.

By the time he’d been able to finish stitching himself back up, he said, laughing like it was just some slight misfortune, he’d been so weak he’d tied himself to the wheel again, just to stay upright. It had been hours after that until he’d been able to sit down.

And Ed must have realized, finally, Stede didn’t think this story was as fun as he did, because he was frowning, by then. “Pretty cool, right? Tell ya, I was a tough little fucker.”

“How are you laughing at this?” Stede finally managed to ask.

Ed looked surprised. “I mean, if you can’t laugh, what can you do?”

Stede pursed his lips. “Why didn’t you get help?”

Ed blinked.

“Couldn’t,” he said, like it was obvious. “Told you, I was young, most of these guys were twice my age. Any weakness and…y’know.”

Stede swallowed, imagining it. Ed gritting his teeth through the pain, afraid to let anyone see. Slipping on the deck, unsure if it was the rain or his own blood wetting the boards. Hinging his bets on a scrap of canvas tied around his waist.

“Hey, Stede, babe!” Ed snuffed out his pipe and reached across the table, taking one of Stede’s hands to press to his own chest, so Stede could feel the steady heartbeat beneath his palm. “I’m alright, see? I’m right here.”

Stede clenched his fingers in Ed’s shirt. “You know,” he said, “that you can come to me if you need anything? Anything at all? You know that, right?”

“Yeah, of course I know that.” When Stede cupped Ed’s face in his hand, Ed’s hand came up to cover his, nuzzling his face into his palm. “I know I’m safe with you.”

And Stede wished he could go back, to save Ed from all that pain, but - he could be there for him now, and that would have to be enough.

A few days later, while working on repairing a section of their roof, Ed hit his thumb with a hammer.

It was a tiny injury. Barely anything at all, especially not compared to that story.

But Ed came down to find Stede, working on the walls, and he showed him his bruised, sore thumb.

“Kiss it better?” Ed asked.

Stede obliged happily, of course, and Ed might’ve looked sheepish at first, but soon he was soaking up the attention. Stede couldn’t go back and fix everything, couldn’t save Ed from any pain, but he could help him feel safe now - and that was enough.

[yeonjunszn]

like hot summer ☼

pairing park sunghoon x f!reader

word count 8k

genres fluff﹒slight angst ﹒smut

warnings 18+ minors dni, mature language, best friends to lovers trope, sharing a bed/room trope, insufferable heeseung + slightly less insufferable jake, features enha jay, txt beomgyu, taehyun, and huening + skz jeongin, also features nct dream, i’m so sorry for doing u so dirty jisung 💔, mentions of alcohol, hoon is kinda mean for like a singular second, vaginal fingering, marking?, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it 😒), finishing inside, Lots of Kissing, they’re kinda gross at the end like i made myself mad with how cute they were being so of course i had to ruin it… u’ll see 😇

summary you’ve been best friends for years now, so why does the idea of sharing a room with him get you so flustered?

more HAPPY 900 FOLLOWERS!! thank u guys so much for giving me this platform to write even if it is for boys who have no idea i exist 😭 writing has always been something very dear to me since a young age and i’m so grateful for being able to get this far on this site. i’ve had an issue with reach in the past and this blog has been nothing but kind to me. i’m forever indebted to all of u and my future followers 🫶 here’s a small token of my appreciation — i havent written anything nsfw since ? march ? i believe 💀 so i apologize if this is rough.. it was originally a vernon fic before i decided not to write for svt anymore and i actually started it in july 😭😭 which is why it’s another summer based fic LMFAOAOAO anyways it was supposed to be like 5k and i got carried away so here u go <3

“please do not take those with you.”

you look up from the suitcase you were stuffing clothes in, a pair of your most comfortable underwear currently in your hands. heeseung gives you a dissatisfied look, standing from his spot in your desk chair to snatch them and throw the garment behind him.

“okay? what the hell?” you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

“we’re going on a trip where you’ll most likely be meeting new people. i don’t think you want to be dressed like a grandma when you do.” he explains with an eye roll, as if it was obvious.

“first of all, rude, they’re cute. second of all, i don’t plan on sleeping around,” you frown, glancing behind him at your poor underwear on the floor. “i should’ve just asked hoon to help me pack. you suck.”

“i’m pretty sure he’d also tell you to ditch the granny-panties.” he shrugs, sitting back on the rolling chair.

“n-no! i wouldn’t have even let him see me packing my undergarments.” you say defensively.

“you’ve been best friends this long and he’s never seen your underwear at least once? what makes me so special.” the brunette snorts.

“you’re… you.”

he gasps in feign offense, slapping his chest. “what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“don’t take it personally! i’d probably let jake see my underwear too,” you defend your words, rifling through your clothes to make sure everything you needed was good to go. when you glance up at heeseung, he has a grimace on his face and you realize what you just said. “stop it! i meant because i see you both like brothers, so it wouldn’t be weird.”

“there are two things to be discussed here; one being the fact that you’d let bitchless, has never felt the touch of a woman in his life, jake sim, see your underwear— even if you think of him as a brother. and two being the fact that sunghoon is somehow different despite knowing him the same amount of time as us.” he raises an eyebrow as you turn to your dresser in search for a pair of replacement panties, since he so graciously tossed aside your favorites, then zip your suitcase shut.

with a grunt, you lug the thing off your bed, checking your appearance in the mirror since you were getting picked up soon. you peek over your shoulder at the brunette, narrowing your eyes. “i hope you know that you’re the absolute bane of my existence, lee heeseung.”

a couple hours later you find yourself sipping on a margarita, poolside at the airbnb you and your friends were renting. the beach was within walking distance, but you didn’t feel like going so you stayed back by yourself. you didn’t mind it at all, because it was probably the only chance you’d get to be alone in a house full of boys.

nine of you crammed into a single house was not ideal, especially considering you were the only girl in your group, but you planned this trip every year. loud, gross, and annoying antics aside, you loved them more than anything. (except maybe when they asked you to set any of them up with one of your girl friends.)

you also felt like you needed a bit of reprieve before you called it a night, since you weren’t given the privilege of your own room this time. all of you made the grave mistake of putting beomgyu in charge of booking the airbnb and his dumbass forgot until about a month ago, when he scrambled to find something within everyone’s standards and big enough to accommodate your large party. and while he was able to secure something, it did mean you’d have to have a roommate.

everyone agreed that it’d be okay if it was just you and one other person to respect your boundaries. rooming arrangements varied from year to year depending on how you decided, but this was the first time you were included. the boys got straight into it the moment you all set foot on the property, arguing in the front yard while you figured out how to work the keypad on the door. due to your ignorance to their shenanigans, you didn’t know who your temporary roommate was until the whole ordeal was a done deal.

before anything was set in stone, there was a unanimous choice to give you and whoever you ended up with the master bedroom, because none of them wanted you biting their heads off for hogging the bathroom. in the first room (the one next to the master), was heeseung, beomgyu, and jeongin, delegated by a game of rock paper scissors. by some miracle or just sheer dumb luck, the three idiots wound up together and celebrated by hugging in a circle and jumping around like elementary schoolers. the second room went to jay, jake, taehyun, and kai. this left one person— park sunghoon.

had you participated in the actual game, you would’ve started a riot to switch roommates. hell, you’d even share a room with jake, and that said everything about how you were feeling towards this situation.

it’s not that you didn’t want to room with sunghoon, per se, it was more like you were afraid to room with him. he was decently calm and an easy person to get along with for the most part. except his ability to tease you in any situation lit a fire under you. his jokes that would seem belittling to anyone else felt flirty and it drove you crazy. all of the guys in your friend group were good looking, but you always found yourself gravitating more towards sunghoon. (besides, you could never in a million years see yourself making out with someone like taehyun; who you thought was quite honestly prettier than you or beomgyu; who enjoyed personally talking your ear off every opportunity he got.)

when the boys finally come back from the beach, the sun has set and you, yourself, had just returned from picking up dinner. the nine of you ate with comfortable conversation here and there, exhausted from the long day you just had, before drawing the evening to a close.

you feel awkward trudging up the stairs to your room with sunghoon in tow, like if you say the wrong thing you’ll alter the entire course of your friendship. he tells you that you can shower first and so you do, but halfway through, you realize you forgot to grab you clothes on the way in. you curse at yourself as you rinse your body wash, switching off the water.

you wrap your towel around yourself timidly, well aware that it’s the only thing stopping sunghoon from seeing your bare body. with a gulp, you reach for the door handle, pushing it open slowly. he’s sat on the edge of the bed scrolling through his phone, uninformed of your presence. you kneel down to your suitcase to quickly grab what you need so you can rush back into the bathroom and change, but the universe hates you and doesn’t think it should be that easy.

“shit shit shit shit,”

you frantically sift through your clothes after getting your undergarments, only for your pajamas to be missing. you remember packing them and you know heeseung was there when you—

you were going to murder lee heeseung.

fuck him and his overt desire to make your life a living hell. first there was the underwear thing and now this. did he not think your care bear pajamas were cute enough to bring on this trip? either way, you couldn’t wait to strangle him, your fingers wiggling in anticipation.

“hey, is everything okay?” sunghoon’s voice calls out, pulling you away from your nefarious plotting. your eyes widen almost comically because you’re still very much naked under your towel and you don’t have clothes to sleep in.

“uh— i— i think i forgot to pack— i mean— i can’t find my pajamas.” you admit shamefully, too embarrassed to look up at him.

the bed creaks lightly, notifying you that he got up. you stand from your crouched position, careful not to accidentally flash him. he rummages through his own suitcase, spinning around to toss a t-shirt at you. you catch it with your free hand and your cheeks are still impossibly warm. you’re not sure if your mind is playing tricks on you, or if he really did rake his vision over your figure.

your heart is racing mortifyingly fast so you give him a tight lipped smile and raise your hand in thanks, bringing it back down just as fast when you think about the fact that you were holding your underwear in the same hand.

you think that’s the fastest you’ve ever run away from something, leaning back against the door while pressing the back of your palm to your forehead, your chest heaving. confidence wasn’t a weakness to you and it pissed you off to no end that it seemed to be only when sunghoon was around that you acted like a complete clown.

there was no chance of you surviving this trip.

the following day, you and the boys had gone out for an early lunch. because you were such a big group, they split you into two different tables. yours consisted of jake, heeseung, beomgyu, and jeongin. the entire time you kept your glare on the brunette sitting directly across from you, even as you shoveled rice into your mouth.

“woah, y/n. if looks could kill, hee would be dead by now.” jake laughs, pointing at you with his chopsticks.

“good,” you say flatly. “that’s what i want.”

heeseung looks thoroughly offended by your statement, clicking his tongue in response. “i don’t know why you hate me so much.”

“oh really?” you ask with a small scoff, sarcasm leaking through your words.

“what’d he do?” beomgyu snorts, flicking his eyes between you and heeseung curiously.

you don’t take your eyes off of the latter, rather you give him an even harsher stare than before. you squint slightly, crossing your legs and leaning back into your chair. “he was with me when i was packing my clothes yesterday and when i went to change after i got out of the shower last night, my pajamas were missing. and i swear i packed them. i even double checked my suitcase.”

jeongin purses his lips and raises his eyebrows. “the care bear pajamas?”

“the care bear pajamas!” you exclaim.

“wow, heeseung, it’s like you’re asking to be suffocated with a pillow in your sleep.”

“that was such an oddly specific cause of death.”

“wait a damn minute! how do you even know it was me? why are you just assuming shit like that?” he defends, picking up his hands like he’s innocent of all crimes. jake holds back a laugh at his reaction and jeongin gives him a deadpan expression.

“why are you being so defensive about it? clearly that means it was you.”

“i agree! i know this is apart of his stupid ‘get-y/n-laid’ agenda. what if i don’t wanna get laid?!” you flail your arms exasperatedly.

beomgyu holds up a finger to halt you, scrunching his eyebrows together. “everyone wants to get laid. you’re no exception.”

you narrow your gaze at him as if to say ‘not helping’ and he shuts up, squeezing his lips together. if there was anything he could’ve said in that moment, that was not it. especially not when you were trying to prove your case. you were an independent woman! you didn’t need to sleep around if you didn’t want to! (you did, with a specific person, but that's besides the point.)

“so what’d you end up wearing to sleep?” jeongin asks, resting his chin in his palm before gasping. “wow, n/n, sunghoon got to see you half naked?”

“no! he lent me a shirt!” you dispute frantically.

“boring,” jake drags out the o. “i think i have an extra you can borrow for tonight if you don’t wanna wear that one again.”

“please, you’re a lifesaver, jake,” you clasp your hands together. “unlike someone by the name of lee heeseung, who’s currently on my hit list. you better sleep with one eye open by the way.”

“could you be a little quiet with it though? i share a room with him.” beomgyu throws in.

“don’t worry, gyu. i've been googling different ways that would be silent, quick, and successful.” you fist bump him, before resuming your eating.

“i don’t get why you’re not groveling at my feet and thanking me right now. i did you a favor, you know,” heeseung huffs, his words slightly muffled by the food filling his mouth. “you get to keep his shirt and sleep in the same bed as him. isn’t that a win?”

“i don’t like him like that, seung.” you say a bit harsher than you intended. the table grows quiet at your outburst, even if they all speculate that you’re lying. the silence causes the other table to look over in concern.

whether you’re just extremely unlucky, or the gods actually think you’re a waste of a human being, you don’t know, but things keep screwing up in your favor. you make accidental eye contact with sunghoon, whose lips are slightly turned downward when he sees how distressed you appear.

it pisses you off.

it pisses you off because all you want to do is kiss those same lips until you can’t breathe. you want him to press them all over your skin, making you hot and bothered. you want him to whisper sweet sweet nothings into your ear and pepper little smooches along the shell of it with them. it pisses you off because you know he doesn’t feel the same.

and it’s so fucking annoying.

you’re probably the only girl he’d never see that way, thanks to the long history you share. you’ll always be another one of the guys to him. you’re someone he knows will be there for him to fall back on when a talking stage fails. you’re someone he knows will sit there and listen to his tales of how he got his dick wet, listen to his bragging.

it should deter your feelings, honestly. not only due to the fact that you have no chance with him, but because he was your best friend. you shouldn’t be mad at him for treating you as such. except you can’t help that you are.

after lunch, the group decided you might as well have another beach day, seeing as it was within walking distance from the airbnb. since you weren’t much of a beach fan (you hated the salty air and, even worse, the sand), the boys allowed you to pick the activity for the night.

there was a club you passed by on your way back from the restaurant that looked intriguing, so that was what you landed on.

you watched your friends mess around by the water as you stayed planted on a beach towel under an umbrella, sunglasses perched on the bridge of your nose. your body weight rested on your palms as you leaned back, soaking up the warmth on your skin. your cute white, shimmery bikini was a head turner, guys staring as they walked by you, ogling at your sunbathing.

you half hoped someone would just go up to you instead of drooling from afar, but at the same time, the thought of a stranger approaching you made you nervous. though, it would provide a decent distraction.

you try to act surprised when someone finally takes the bait.

he’s an attractive guy, you’ll admit, with dark hair that falls onto his forehead, slightly in his eyes which are also obscured by a pair of sunglasses. he ruffles it a bit before dropping himself on the sand beside you. he doesn’t talk for a few minutes, just copying your actions.

a small smile makes way onto your lips at his nonchalance and you turn to face him, pushing your shades up on top of your head. he does the same, giving you his own smile. now that you have a full view of his features, you can 100% say that he’s indeed handsome.

with an extended hand, he says, “hi, i’m park jisung.”

you return the gesture, shaking it with a firm grip. “l/n y/n.”

“wow, pretty name for a pretty girl. your parents must’ve known what they were doing.” he flirts with a laugh, almost like it’s second nature for him.

you can’t hide how bashful the compliment makes you, a tiny giggle bubbling from your chest. the bikini gave you a confidence boost when you put it on, but despite that, you were still you. so hearing little things like that always made you shy, especially because you weren’t used to it. how could you? being friends with a bunch of boys and all, guys never really cared to look in your direction.

“do you say that to every girl you meet, park jisung?” you manage to tease back, proud of yourself for recovering so quickly.

his smile morphs into a grin, his teeth peeking through his lips, and his eyes crinkle at the sides. “nope. just the really pretty ones.”

you tilt your chin into your shoulder as you feel heat spread across your cheeks. how was this guy so smooth? it’s like he knew exactly what you wanted/needed to hear and kept saying it.

when you compose yourself, you continue your conversation with jisung. it’s comfortable, even if you’d never met him before today, and it feels like you’ve known him for a while. you learn that he’s also on a trip with his friends, the six of them stationed just a few umbrellas over to your left. (he groans when you catch them spying on the two of you.) then he tells you that he noticed you earlier and his friends had finally convinced him to shoot his shot.

“you know, if you’d come up to me sooner, i would’ve been a lot less bored,” you sigh, scooting a little closer to him. “my friends have been ignoring me since we got here and i fucking hate the beach.”

he chuckles at that, subtly brushing his fingers against yours. “sorry about that. i guess you’re glad i saved the day, huh?”

“very,” you link your pinkie with his. “so, we’re going out later tonight to some club called allure? i think? it’d be really cool if you went, just saying. you can bring your friends.”

“that sounds like fun. maybe you’ll see us there,” he shrugs, nudging your foot with his. “depends on how bad you wanna see me.”

“nooo, don’t do me like that, jisung,” you whine halfheartedly, covering your face with your free hand. “i would like to see you there, but i don’t wanna beg.”

jisung laughs at how cute you are, poking your cheek with a nod. “okay okay, you convinced me. i’ll tell the guys.”

“okay, cool.” you breathe, tangling your fingers with his as you both stare at each other goofily. you almost lean in, the gap between you only disrupted by a centimeter, but then a throat clears itself and you jump apart.

it seemed that the guys all finally noticed you weren’t alone and decided to pay attention to you. you make eye contact with sunghoon and feel a shudder run down your spine, trying your hardest to conceal it.

“hey, y/n, who’s this?” he asks, albeit passively.

“oh, this is jisung. him and his friends are gonna meet us at the club tonight!” you give him a tight lipped smile, glancing over to gauge jisung’s reaction. he doesn’t look too fazed by their presence, instead standing up so he could introduce himself to each of them.

you sputter at the action, surprised that he was so willing to be buddy-buddy with the boys. you assume it’s because he isn’t too intimidated by them, considering they’d been ignorant toward your presence until now.

after he’s done, he turns to you and puffs his cheeks, blowing air between his lips. “i guess i better get going. i’ll see you later?”

“mhm,” you rub his arm. “see you tonight, ji.”

the nickname makes him grin and he ruffles your hair before bidding you all a goodbye. your eyes follow as he walks over to his friends, who are fist bumping in celebration of his success with you. your smile doesn’t go away as you look back at your own friends.

jake jumps up and down, shaking you aggressively by the shoulders. “y/n, holy shit! rizz master or what?”

beomgyu and jeongin burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter, falling into each other as you roll your eyes. jake would be the one to use such a gen z term at his age. “please never call me that again.”

“well jakey, looks like she won’t need your shirt tonight after all. chances are she’ll use jisung’s instead.” heeseung jokes, smacking your arm playfully.

you cover your face with both hands to shelter how embarrassed they’re making you feel. rule number one for being best friends with a bunch of boys— don’t. they’re nothing but menaces. and if you happen to acquire a friend group of just males— don’t let them meet your significant other.

as you wrap up your day at the beach, so you could head back to the airbnb to get ready for your night out, you realize sunghoon is keeping to himself a lot. and you don’t know what to make of that.

you feel like a million bucks if you’re being completely honest with yourself. you packed one of the nicest dresses you owned in case you needed it and you were so glad you did. it would’ve been awkward rolling up to the club in shorts and a bikini top— though you’re sure management has probably seen that before.

it was gold and sparkly, with spaghetti straps and a lace-up back, low cut enough that it was cute rather than overly revealing. you styled your hair to preference and kept the makeup simple, soft glam that didn’t distract from the outfit. this was the prettiest you felt in weeks— months even— and it was a comforting change of pace.

when you step out of the bathroom, sunghoon is laying on his back on the bed, scrolling through his phone. the sound of your heels clacking on the wooden floor forces him to sit up. “how long does it take to—?”

his words die out once he sees you, his throat going dry and his stomach tightening with an incessant knot. you look so gorgeous, it almost makes him angry that it’s not for him. never in your seven years of friendship has he ever seen you put this much effort in your appearance. (he thinks that’s why he feels himself getting worked up.)

“woah, missy, you’re not leaving the house looking like that. where’s your coat?” he raises an eyebrow, masking the icky feeling brewing inside of him.

“hoon, it’s like a hundred degrees out. we’re in the middle of a heatwave at the peak of the summer, the fuck do i need a coat for?” you counter with a scoff, shoving your phone and some lip gloss along with your credit card and ID in the little clutch you were taking with you.

“i’m just saying,” he shrugs. “you’re practically wearing a piece of cloth, you might get cold.”

“shut up, i’ll be fine.” you snort, exiting the room and leaving him scrambling for control of himself.

the rest of the guys are already waiting downstairs, whistling and hollering once you reach the bottom of the steps. jake tells you to do a little twirl, cheering you on like he was best friends with bella hadid or something. (you won't admit that it fuels your ego.)

“where’s sunghoon?” jay asks crouching to see if he was visible from where he was standing.

“i don’t know, but he’s being weird. my vote is we leave without him.” taehyun holds up a finger, pursing his lips as if he was being totally serious about his suggestion. you laugh at his expression, flicking his forehead.

“don’t be mean, tyun.”

a couple minutes later, sunghoon finally makes his way downstairs, looking conflicted about something. as much as you wanna ask, you know you shouldn’t get into it right now, so you choose not to.

jisung and his group are already at the club when you arrive and he waves you over to the high tables they secured. he introduces you to his six friends; mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, and chenle. once you’ve met them, the two of you introduce your own friends to each other. it makes you happy that they seem to hit it off, breaking off into smaller cliques.

you and jisung wander off to the bar, ordering some drinks for yourselves. he helps you sit at one of the stools, his hand resting comfortably on your lower back. it doesn’t take long for the bartender to hand you your poison for the night and you take a gulp with a wince, letting the alcohol burn in its course down your throat.

“you look really good, by the way,” jisung compliments, his thumb rubbing circles into the skin that peeks through the straps in the back of your dress. “i didn’t get to tell you when you got here.”

his mouth brushes your ear as he speaks so you can hear him over the booming top forties music playing. there’s not nearly enough alcohol in your system to warrant the heat blooming under your skin so soon. you just giggle in response, spinning in your chair so you’re facing him. you hold your straw between two fingers as you sip at your beverage, looking up at him through thick lashes coated in mascara.

“you’re really something else, y/n,” he shakes his head, downing the rest of his drink before you return to your friends. “i’m gonna use the restroom, i’ll be right back.”

you nod with a smile when he pets your head, pressing a chaste kiss to your temple. it catches you off guard, but you don’t mind it one bit. at least someone was interested in you for once.

heeseung squeezes his way through the crowd to you and narrows his eyes, taking a hold of either side of your head. your cheeks squish together and your lips form a pout, so no matter how annoyed you try to come across, you just look silly. your attempts to get him off of you are futile, making you raise a brow to find out why he was being so touchy-feely.

“i still cannot believe you managed to make moves while you were alone. i literally never saw this coming.”

god, lee heeseung was such a lightweight.

“can you stop being sentimental? it’s kinda gross.” you grimace, your words mushed together much like your cheeks. it’s at this point that jake decides to join in, throwing his arms around your shoulders.

(jake sim was also a lightweight.)

“i love you guys! i’m so glad we’re here together right now!”

you spot jisung coming back from the restroom, pleading for him to save you with your eyes. he laughs and inserts himself in the conversation. “i appreciate you guys watching over y/n for me while i was gone, but do you think i can steal her back?”

“i guess,” jake sighs dramatically, dragging out the s. “but you better bring her back in one piece, park.”

jisung salutes to the brunette, even if he wasn’t at all intimidated by his overprotective parent persona, and whisks you away to get more drinks and then to hit the dance floor. the moment your foot reaches the tiled ground, a summer walker song starts, and all coherent thoughts leave your mind.

you keep one arm wrapped around jisung’s neck as you begin to sway your hips with the music, taking swigs of your drink every now and then. his is long forgotten in favor of gripping your waist like you’d run away any second. you have him wrapped around your finger, the way he’s fixated on you and your movements has your head spinning. but when you glance towards the general direction all of your friends were in, you accidentally make eye contact with none other than park sunghoon.

he’s glaring right at you, making no attempt to hide the distaste on his features while he watches you dance. you keep the eye contact when jisung leans into your neck, his nose grazing the sensitive spot just below your ear.

usually you’d fold then and there, crumbling in his hands and letting him take you home for the night. but there’s something about the darkness in sunghoon’s gaze that sends a shiver down your spine, not the person you were currently grinding into on the dance floor. it sends your mind into a frenzy.

your blissful ignorance to the amount of attraction you truly felt for him was causing more problems than solving them. here you were, a nice guy treating you like an absolute princess, but still thirsting after one of your best friends with not a single ounce of fucking shame. years of pent up frustration and insufferable pining bubble over, and you don’t stop yourself from what you’re about to do next.

you pull back from jisung, finally breaking the staring contest between you and sunghoon, and smile at him, pushing some hair out of his eyes. he gives you a look of utter confusion and you huff. “i’m sorry, but i’m feeling a little tired. i think the drinks are getting to me.”

“do you want me to drop you off at your place?” he asks, so sweetly it actually makes you feel bad about your true intentions. you shake your head ‘no’.

“it’s okay, you can stay here with your friends. i’ll just ask one of the boys,” you respond, patting his cheek. “one of the sober ones.”

“alright, if you insist. just be careful and text me later, yeah?” he gives you that award winning grin that made you weak at the knees just moments ago. this time you don’t give him a verbal response, too afraid of your voice betraying you.

you still don’t say anything as you grab your clutch from the table where your group was at, flickering your vision to sunghoon once before you walk out of the club. the air is cooler than this afternoon, serving as a nice contrast to your warm, sticky skin. your ears are still ringing from the blaring music and you’re pleasantly buzzed, but you feel great.

the sound inside the club travels outside for a second when the door opens and closes, signaling that someone had just walked out. you don’t want to risk the backwards glance in case it’s not who you’re hoping it is and you feel dumb. you opt to stare at the cars passing on the street, hugging yourself.

there’s the ghost of a touch on the small of your back and a broad chest pressed to your shoulders, causing you to jump slightly. “ditched that dude finally?”

you swallow thickly, his deep voice reverberating in your bones. “and if i did?”

sunghoon chuckles, his fingers dancing around the knot of your dress. “then i won’t have to feel like an asshole for what i’m about to do to you.”

you squeak as he starts to push you in the direction of the airbnb, your feet carrying you as fast as you can with your heels. the walk is silent except for the clicking against the concrete sidewalk, but it’s heavy with tension. half of you wants to say something, to ask what’s even happening. you don’t even realize he’s punching the numbers into the keypad and pulling you into the house until you’re pinned to the shut door, nose skimming yours.

sunghoon has a desperate grip around your wrists, breathing like he’d just ran a marathon. you stare up at him with wide eyes. you’re not entirely sure what you were hoping for when you executed this plan, but this wasn’t anywhere near the list of outcomes. in fact, you were positive that park sunghoon didn’t feel any sort of attraction to you.

“hoon,” you gasp, tongue swiping across your bottom lip.

he grins, his canines peeking through those lips of his that looked so soft. “you look so pretty tonight, n/n. can’t believe i get to have you all to myself.”

your head feels empty, like there’s nothing but cotton filling your skull where your brain should be. this was something out of a dream for you, something you’d only ever seen in your darkest fantasies. you wanted him to kiss you so badly it was beginning to ache. your head tilts to the side just a bit, your eyes alternating between his mouth and his own.

“need you,” you whisper, voice airy. “‘ve been waiting for this for so long.”

he connects your lips at that, a burning fever behind his actions as he does so. the dizziness doesn’t go away, instead amplifying. he releases your wrists in favor of grabbing at your thighs, his blunt nails digging into the plush skin. you tangle your fingers in his hair and tug at the silky strands, forcing a groan out of him. kissing sunghoon is sickening. it’s exactly how they describe it in books, the stomach churning and the goosebumps and all. this morning, you never would’ve thought you’d be here, but you’re completely satisfied with this turn of events.

“bedroom,” he breathes. “don’t want anyone seeing you like this but me.”

he doesn’t have to tell you twice, your heels discarded at the bottom of the stairs. the minute you’re in your shared room, his mouth is hot on yours again and you’re collapsing on to the bed. his hands are everywhere and there’s too many clothes between you. you slide your hands under his shirt, grazing your nails along his abdomen, smiling when it tenses under your touch. he gets the memo, removing his shirt and tossing it haphazardly behind him. you fumble with the button of his jeans and he laughs at how needy you are, solidifying just how real this moment actually is.

you notice that he’s already hard once his pants are gone and you palm his bulge as you lean back in for another kiss. he sighs into your mouth, reaching around your back to untie the knot on your dress. the straps fall instantaneously, the front of the fabric slipping down to reveal your bare chest. sunghoon’s lips move from yours to your jaw and along the column of your neck until he’s at your chest, looking up at you as he leaves open mouthed kisses all over your tits. you moan softly when the warmth of his mouth envelopes a sensitive nipple, slipping your dress off all the way so you’re left in nothing but your panties.

he steps back for a second to kick the article of clothing away, before caging your body with his. “i’ve been wanting to get you out of that dress all night. it pissed me off that you didn’t put it on for me, but he doesn’t get to see you all fucked out untouched, now does he?”

you shake your head, but that doesn’t satisfy him. his thumb finds your clit through the thin material of your underwear, rubbing tight circles into it to get a reaction from you. your lips part and your eyes squeeze shut, but it’s not enough for him. he grabs your chin a little forcefully, smushing your cheeks together like heeseung did earlier— however there was nothing wholesome about this moment.

“i asked you a fucking question.” sunghoon all but growls.

“n-no, hoon. only you,” you whimper, his mean demeanor turning you on even more. you’re embarrassed by the wet patch forming on the front of your panties and deep deep down you’re thanking lee heeseung for throwing the other pair out of your suitcase. (very very very deep down— you’d never give him the benefit of being right.)

“that’s my good girl,” he hooks his fingers into the waistband, glancing at you for confirmation. “are we really going through with this? you can back out now.”

your heart thumps disgustingly loud in your ears at how sincere he sounds and you pray to god that he can’t hear it. “sunghoon, i’m laying half naked in front of you right now— if you don’t fuck me—”

“alright alright… you got it,” he laughs that cute laugh of his, the one he reserves solely for you. the one that has crows feet forming at the corners of his eyes. it drives you crazier than anything else he’s done the entire night.

sunghoon slides your underwear down your legs with one hand, the other propping himself up to hover over you. you kick them off, biting your lip and hissing when he decides to run a finger up your slit. he curses as he watches how your arousal coats the digit. all you’ve done is kiss and you’re dripping.

“you’re soaked, baby,” he practically groans, pecking your jaw. “gonna ruin your pussy so you know who you belong to.”

you whine when he thrusts a finger in without warning, quickly adding a second and massaging your swollen clit with the pad of his thumb. your head rolls back as moans and expletives spill from your mouth. sunghoon takes the opportunity to mark you as his, sucking and biting your neck and chest like he was a leech, ensuring bruises formed in his wake. he finds the sweet spot at your pulse point, curling his fingers at the same time he nips at it.

“f-fuck, right th-there, hoonie,” you mewl, instinctively spreading your legs wider.

at this rate, you don’t think you’ll last much longer.

you know he can tell too with the way he speeds up the pace of his fingers. you clench around them and he connects your lips once again, his tongue tangling with yours messily. it’s so sloppy and so aggressive, but it’s perfect. it’s so sunghoon.

he keeps working at you, kissing everywhere he can until he pushes the right buttons to make you fall apart in his hands. when he finally finds it— a little nibble to your earlobe— your back arches further into him, your moans uncontrollable and incomprehensible as your orgasm washes over you. the skill of his mouth and hands has you reeling from the experience knowing no one else could ever make you feel like this ever again.

once you’ve come down, he slowly pulls his fingers out, sucking them so he can taste you and all that you are. he groans before pressing a quick kiss to your lips. you sigh in content.

“if you cum like that just from my fingers, i can’t wait to see how you look with my cock,” he mutters into your mouth, evoking a whine out of you. “so gorgeous.”

sunghoon steps away to remove his underwear, revealing himself to you. you have to stop yourself from drooling, reaching out to stroke his length languidly. he hisses as he goes back in for another kiss, biting on your lower lip when your thumb swipes over the slit on his sensitive tip.

he drags you to the edge of the bed, pushing away your hands so he can guide himself to your entrance. “are you ready for me, baby?”

“mhm,” you whimper, wrapping your legs around his waist to get him closer— if possible. “want you so bad, sunghoon.”

the sound of his name leaving your lips so filthily has the blood rushing from his brain to his dick even faster than before. he slips in easily, your arousal lubricating enough for him to bottom out almost completely. his balls slap against your ass when he does, his cock sheathed inside of you so far it’s like it’s poking your stomach.

his pace starts slow and consistent, his hips rocking into yours with timed thrusts that hit deep. your legs feel weak and your head is spinning, drunk off of his cock and how good it is. but it’s not satisfying you, you need more. you want more.

your heels dig into the dip of his lower back and you mewl, “faster, p-please.”

“anything for you, pretty girl.” he grunts, using one hand to grip your hip and the other to form a makeshift ponytail with your hair, tugging your head back so he can rest his forehead in the crook of your neck.

sunghoon angles his hips and pistons his cock into you quicker. each thrust is punctuated by his pelvis snapping into your own harshly and his fistful of your hair stinging your scalp. his hold on your waist is nearly bruising, but you don’t really care, too high from the pleasure he’s providing you. your moans raise in volume as you feel the band in your belly grow tighter.

your pussy clenches around him and he releases your hair in favor of rubbing tight circles into your clit. the stimulation of his cock driving in and out of you combined with his thumb on your most sensitive area has alarms blaring in your head as a warning for your second incoming orgasm. “i’m so so close, hoon, fuck— just like that,”

“c’mon baby, you can give it to me,” he coos, changing his angle again so he reaches that spongy spot in your cunt.

you swear you can see spots when it crashes onto you, your whole body spasming with the intensity of it. sunghoon prolongs your orgasm, still thrusting into you with a purpose. you know he’s closer to his edge too from how desperate he’s moving and the whines leaving his lips. you’re so sensitive it’s making you insane, but you allow him to keep abusing your pussy.

“where do you want me?” he asks breathily, his sweaty forehead sticking to your skin.

“inside,” you moan, your toes curling. “cum inside me, sunghoon,”

he just about loses it at that, fucking into you with everything he can manage and sinking his nails into the fat of your hips to hold you still. you’re overstimulated and your brain is foggy so you keep squirming around, involuntarily squeezing your walls around his length. it’s not too much later that he finally releases, painting your cunt with milky white ropes of cum.

he slumps forward once he’s given all he has to offer, his chest flat against yours while he attempts to regulate his breathing. the two of you lie there for a bit, recovering from what just happened. eventually he pulls out and disappears into the bathroom, only to return with a warm and damp washcloth seconds after. he hands it to you wordlessly and you awkwardly clean yourself up, wincing due to the acute sensitivity you were feeling. sunghoon sits beside you, naked and silent.

you think it’s funny how he was so confident not even ten minutes ago and now he’s acting like a shy teenager. you know you have to talk about the situation at hand and what it means for your relationship, but in this moment, the cloudiness of your head subsided, that fear of rejection has creeped back in. was it just a temporary lapse of judgment on his part? did he just feel attraction towards you because you dolled yourself up for once?

the insecurity rushes in like a tsunami wave and you want nothing more than to get out of here before you drown.

“i—”

“we—”

you both speak at the same time, cutting each other off before you can continue. he gestures for you to go first and you sigh, reaching for the t-shirt thrown over the bedpost from this morning. you slip it on, along with your discarded underwear, to hide your body, comparatively aware of how exposed you were. he follows suit, putting his underwear back on.

“i think i should sleep somewhere else tonight.” you say, your tone uneasy.

sunghoon’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. “w-what? why?”

“it’s already awkward enough,” you avoid his eyes. “i don’t think sleeping in the same bed is gonna help.”

“i was just trying to put together the right words,” he explains, brows still furrowed. “i don’t wanna give you a half assed confession after we just had sex, y’know? you deserve something more intimate than that.”

you blink, thrown for a loop by his admission. well now you felt like an idiot.

“c-confession?” you stutter, resembling a cartoon character with your jaw on the ground.

“did you— did you think i was gonna treat this as a random hookup?” his lips form a frown, like he was offended by your assumption.

“um, yeah? i mean, you never really expressed any interest in me before tonight, sunghoon. you’ve only ever talked about other girls you’ve fucked around with. you can’t really blame me.” you play with the hem of the (his) t-shirt.

his hand finds its way under your chin, lifting it so you have to look at him. the glint in his eyes is soft and you will away the tears threatening to appear. “you really have no idea huh?”

“what are you talking about?” you sniffle.

“y/n, i’ve been in love with you for like five years. any time i’ve talked about another girl, it was to see whether or not you seemed bothered by it. did you actually think i felt nothing for you?” sunghoon snorts, wiping away a stray tear that rolls down your cheek.

“yeah,” you laugh, feeling a little silly for not knowing he liked you this entire time. “i guess i was blinded by my own emotions.”

“that’s why it made me mad that you were hitting it off so well with that jisung guy,” he holds one of your hands in his lap, caressing your knuckles with his thumb. “i kinda figured you felt the same, but i was starting to doubt it after that.”

“hoon, i was only doing that ‘cause i thought i had no chance with you,” you shake your head. “if you had told me sooner, all of this could’ve been prevented.”

“or if you told me sooner.” he adds with a shrug.

you lightly poke his chest with a playful eye roll. he smiles at you fondly and you think this is perfect. you weren’t expecting the night to go in this direction, but you definitely aren’t complaining. somehow you feel like heeseung is to thank, in an odd way. (you’d never let him know that though.)

“can i kiss you again? for real this time?” sunghoon asks, scooting a little closer to you on the bed.

you nod, leaning into him so you can connect your lips in a sweet kiss. it’s not full of hunger or desire, but it still has that same passion from earlier. it’s loving and it’s everything you’ve ever needed from a kiss with park sunghoon.

you don’t get to indulge in the moment any longer, though, a thud sounding outside your room and hushed voices filtering from under the door. you and sunghoon share a look.

“shut the fuck up, they’re gonna hear us!”

“you’re the one being loud, what are you saying?”

“jake shut your fucking mouth, don’t back talk me.”

“wait why are they quiet?”

“shhh!”

sunghoon scoffs before he opens the door, revealing your friends all gathered in front of it. jake and kai fall forward, ears first. they give you guilty smiles when they realize they’ve been caught, chuckling uncomfortably.

“beomgyu, you owe me five bucks.” heeseung says when he takes notice of the clothes strewn across the room.

nevermind. lee heeseung truly was the bane of your existence.

© yeonjunszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  Capriciously_Terminal! @capriciouslyterminal has 106 fics on ao3 in the Stranger Things fandom and 105 of them are in the Steddie tag!

@mustardyellowlilac recommends the following works by Capriciously_Terminal:

Where the Sun Can't Reach

Spit Me out, You Don't Know Where I've Been

It's the Ritual of the Thing

Baby I'm Your Man (Don't Fear the Reaper)

It's as if she writes memories, rather than stories, and that makes them tangible and devastating -- @mustardyellowlilac

Below the cut, @capriciouslyterminal answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

I started writing Steddie because the characters of Steve and Eddie have such specific and human voices that I literally couldn’t get them out of my head after watching the first drop of S4. (Also I’d just gotten a new puppy who didn’t love sleeping through the night so I had plenty of time to think). The more I wrote for them the deeper I found myself in their voices and thinking about what they could do and I had to keep going until I ran out of steam.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

I love a good “Steddie interwoven into previous seasons’ canon events” story. Especially if an author makes it SO specific. I want Steve and Eddie in Starcourt. I want Eddie Munson popping up at the pumpkin patch. I want Eddie Munson in the background at Starcourt drooling. I want him to spend this whole time watching Steve’s character growth and finding it impossibly hot before getting twisted up in the horror.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

I definitely love adding Eddie Munson to canon (thinking about him and life-guard Steve Harrington is where this all began, afterall). However I think that I, as a person, am just as obsessed with The Horrors. As such adding monstrosity/new flavors of spooky to this show was my favorite thing to do.

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

I can narrow it down to two! My favorite piece of Steddie fic that changed my brain chemistry has got to be fastcardotmp3’s “that’s just wasteland, baby!” (https://archiveofourown.org/works/42351597) because the scene in the lake? The genuine wonderful take on in media res apocalypse living? Dot’s talent for characterization/love? I’ll never live it down. Actually, go read everything by fastcardotmp3. Do yourself a favor. The other has to be “every mistake was made purposefully” by birthdaycandles (https://archiveofourown.org/works/41795838/chapters/104862381). It turns out I’m a sucker for excellent narration and watching Steddie/plot shenanigans from Tommy Hagan’s prickly point of view. It gave me everything I’ve ever wanted.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I always wanted to write a When Harry Met Sally AU about Steve and Eddie meeting throughout their lives/development. I don’t know if I’ll ever pick it up again but it’s still there knocking at the back of my mind. I’ve also got like fifteen of the drabbles in i love you you dope with bits of continuation in my head too.

What is your writing process like?

In general, my writing is a very all or nothing process. It’s either going to go all day, through meals, and not stop until the idea is finished OR I’m going to be stalled completely. Generally, though, if I’m in my crazy inspired phase I’ll have an idea (specifically the beginning of something) and if that idea sticks in my head for more than a single day then I probably can’t leave it until it’s done. However, this did change with my writing i love you you dope. I decided to answer p0ck3tf0x's "100 Ways to Say I Love You" list one prompt at a time. Once a day. RIP. This led to a writing process which was more of a sit down after work and immediately write the first thing you could think of until it’s done kind of affair. I can’t recommend that style lol. It led to some pretty intense burnout by the end but I am proud of how many ideas came because of it. It showed that, through tenacity, most ideas could be something worth pursuing.

Do you have any writing quirks?

I can’t help but put first and second person pronouns in descriptions as if speaking to the reader and I’m a frequent and blatant tense shifter. It’s all over the place at times lol. I also LOVE a good stream of consciousness description, flitting from one image to another, which probably lead to these grammatical quirks and a shit ton of run-on sentences.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Before I started writing i love you you dope I very much preferred finishing my writing before I posted it. It took ages but nothing felt worse than having to leave something unfinished because I’d lost the plot (which has happened several times).  However, part of the draw of i love you you dope was that (as a challenge) I had to write and post daily. While I learned I can write on such a grueling schedule, I can safely say after finishing it that I prefer having the time to ensure something’s to my standards. Or, at least, until I’m tired of looking at it and just want other people to see it.

Which fic are you most proud of?

If we branch outside of my Steddie work it’s a fic for a little show called Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency that I think I’ll never top. A Road Song in Quartet that Smells like a Trio is basically my novel/brain-child about my favorite rowdy vampire boys and I have to shout it out everywhere I go. However, to stick to the Steddie, I had such a great time with characterization in writing It’s the Ritual of the Thing. Some of those descriptions are still some of my best work. Or, I’d have to say, Can We Both Be Lonely If We’re Both Looking at Each Other? It’s an AU modeled after the world of The Magnus Archives Podcast and not only was I proud of the way I was able to layer monstrosity on both Eddie and Steve but I just loved the world. I actually planned out a whole main plot for the world that never saw the light of day.

How did you get the idea for Baby I'm Your Man (Don't Fear the Reaper)?

I can’t remember which came first, the title or the idea of Eddie meeting Death as played by Steve Harrington, but the song title by Blue Öyster Cult had definitely been sitting in my head for a while. The idea initially started as a Seventh Seal reference with Eddie having to challenge Death with Steve Harrington’s face to a game of basketball but that scene wasn’t working so instead we got a trip through various S4 locales and a fun Death with good hair.

When writing Spit Me out, You Don't Know Where I've Been, what was something you didn’t expect?

I honestly didn’t know if anyone would vibe with the language/story. For a fic that focused a lot on unease, offal, and how hard it would be to picture a future in a small town I was waiting for people to not touch this one with a ten foot pole. So to hear that it actually channeled people’s feelings or that it was something that people enjoyed (as opposed to just me shouting stressful things at the sky) was a big expectation dodge.

What inspired It's the Ritual of the Thing?

When I was in high school I had a friend who asked me out once, the first person to ever do so, and my first instinctual response was to genuinely ask him why he was really calling me after school. He insisted that he really did want to ask me out and for some reason that made my blood run cold. The date did not go well, obviously, but I remembered the gut punch to think someone wouldn’t want you/the desire to say no just because it frightened you for years afterwards. It felt like such an Eddie thing to feel, especially if Steve Harrington was the one to ask him out. Honestly…I poured a lot of my own worldview into Eddie Munson as I wrote him and that’s where a lot of this came from.

What was your favorite part to write from Ritual of the Thing?

I’d have to say it’s a toss up between two parts. Firstly, I’ll never get over the descriptive imagery in the beginning (I’ll never forget lines like “Suddenly it’s like he’s a Jack-O-Lantern with his mouth carved open. A candle sits on his tongue and its light is shining out of his eyes”). It was the kind of sentence I was thrilled to read after I wrote it. Secondly, I was really proud of Eddie and Robin’s conversation after Steve told her about his asking Eddie out. I loved both of their voices in that moment and the thought of Robin trying to explain how much Steve could love you even after you’d had to let him down…and her little fake nightmare discussion.

How do/did you feel writing Where the Sun Can't Reach?

On one hand it felt like I was exorcizing something because I show my class The Sandlot once a year and that means for one day I watch the scene where the kid fakes drowning to make-out with the lifeguard four times. That’s too many times. I had to process that. But I do remember that feeling of loneliness that could come with summer. That could come with wishing for a room somewhere with someone you loved when it felt impossible. I remember when the smallest of things could mean the world when you had nothing else…so in a way maybe I was exorcizing that too.

What was the most difficult part of writing Where the Sun Can't Reach?

Besides the jokey answer of reliving the aforementioned scene from The Sandlot on purpose, I’d have to say trying to accurately consider the physics/feelings of Eddie’s trip into the water. The feelings/actual consequences of hitting his head. I’m not too sure I got the details right but I remember working on it so many times that I eventually threw in the towel and went with what I had.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

I think…it’s gotta go to my lone vampire Steddie fic I Go Hungry Every Night. The whole thing’s one big treatise to Upside Down skinned vampires and food/service as a love language? And also the fact that I love vampires/monstrosity. I just went way too hard with the line: “If you asked Steve what the opposite of tracing constellations in someone’s freckles in the afterglow would be he’d say this, making shapes in the pieces of the wound they’ve given you. The one that weeps red slowly.”

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

While I wish I did, and I’m always thinking about various unfinished fics in the strangest moments of my life, I think I’m pretty knocked from my Steddie writing mojo. I love you you dope was an incredible process and I am so proud of it…but I think it cauterized my writing brain for Steddie. I’d love for people to poke around the fics I wrote and I will say that other people’s intrigue sometimes pulls my attention back to old ideas…but I do believe I’m a bit out to pasture here lol.

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Writing Steddie was something that kept me sane during a really stressful transition from college to adulthood. These characters and all the people I got to meet/talk with in this fandom have been one of the greatest joys in my life. I’m so honored, like honestly floored, that anyone would nominate me for something like this. The thing about writing fic is that oftentimes when you start it can feel like you can’t possibly amount to what other people do. Like you’re just a little voice that doesn’t have anything special about it even when you tried so hard. But I stand as someone who felt that way and still found that people did enjoy what I wrote and if I can do it, honestly, anyone can. <3

Thank you to our author, @capriciouslyterminal, and our nominator, @mustardyellowlilac! See more of Capriciously_Terminal's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[bonesandthebees]

You don’t have to answer this but I’ve always been hugely inspired by your writing and I’ve always wondered how you keep yourself motivated?

Not just on the bigger fics but even the one-shots. What keeps you going? My biggest struggle lately has been motivation after going through a bit of a mental health struggle and as I’ve been trying to come out of it, I feel like my writing is no longer as good as it used to be. I used to write all the time and it felt like I could turn anything into content but now it just feels like everything I write goes nowhere.

I feel like maybe I’m just putting too much pressure on myself to put out content rather than just enjoying it like I used to but I’ve felt a lot of guilt from not putting anything out in so long.

Anyways like I said, you absolutely don’t have to answer this but I thought I’d throw it out there to see if you had any advice you’d want to share, it would be hugely appreciated.

this is a really good question! unfortunately my answer I think only really works for me and not most people. part of the reason I write so much is because writing is my escape from whatever is going on in my life that's stressing me out. the busier I am, the more I want to write. and when I don't have the inspiration/energy to write for too long, my mental health gets worse as a result.

truthfully, a lot of the time it's easier for me to process a fictional character's emotions than my own. so when my mental health is bad or I'm getting too sucked into my own head, writing isn't just something I do for the hell of it. I need it to keep me from spiraling too deeply into my own head. (of course this doesn't always work and it depends on what I'm writing about, but this is true for the most part)

so for me, the way I keep my motivation up is that I know I'm going to feel like shit if I don't write. I find joy in plunging myself into fictional worlds and characters and, as I said, I use it as my escape. while I know not everyone uses writing as an escape like I do, the one bit of advice I think you might be able to take from me is to try and find the joy in it. don't force yourself to write something you don't want to. don't write something just because you think it's what other people want to see.

I completely understand the pressure to write for content rather than your own enjoyment, especially when you have unfinished works. but you have to remind yourself you're not obligated to update anything. you're writing fanfiction for free. you don't owe it to anyone.

and I also totally get feeling like your writing is worse now, and while I doubt that's true, even if it is, you gotta push through. the only way you're going to get back in the groove of writing is by doing it.

honestly if I have any recommendation for you, write something to post anonymously. sure, you're not updating whatever you have ongoing, but again you don't owe it to anyone. sometimes you just need to get back in the saddle. maybe you can use this as an opportunity to write an idea you weren't sure your audience would react well to. or maybe you can just use this to start a project you feel like you won't finish, but want to put out in the world anyway. I've done this before and it definitely helps to get me back in the writing mindset. you don't have to feel embarrassed for posting this other thing instead of your ongoing wips on main, because no one will know it's you.

I hope this helps! I know it's not easy letting go of the pressure and tbh it never leaves entirely, but just try to find joy in writing for writing's sake rather than content.

[mottlemoth]

So I’ve been hiding a lot. I’m really sorry. Being back on Tumblr makes me feel like it’s fine to share some of this - I’m sorry if it’s weird to hear - I’m just having a tough time and I need to be honest.

Various things are happening to me in real life at the moment. It’s been one thing after another, and there’s more to come. Usually I turn to fandom for a support structure and an escape from stress, but I’m realising that sense of comfort has been missing from my life for a few weeks now.

I came to OFMD from a small rarepair with a very close and very supportive community. I absolutely wasn’t prepared for the kind of things I’ve experienced in the last few months on Twitter. The OFMD community there has a lot of problems right now, one of the most worrying being a lethal lack of awareness that fan writers are fans. We’re writing for fun, sharing our work for free. But we’re being ripped apart by people who’ve had years of practice at criticising showrunners for creative decisions they don’t approve of. The abuse is largely motivated by jealousy - any author who picks up too much kudos or appears on too many rec lists becomes the next target, and it’s usually cloaked under a false banner of social justice. It’s happening over and over again. It’s transparent and it’s exhausting, and the things being used to justify the abuse are so tenuous that I often can’t believe what my actual eyes are reading. I’ve been accused of misogyny for writing Edward ‘Shoot-The-People-Who-Teased-Me’ Teach as reacting emotionally, therefore “female-coding” him, therefore sexism. I don’t know how to cope in this kind of environment.

I’ve been through endless rounds of coaxing myself to try to relax - to forget about the paranoia and the toxicity, and shut up and get on with writing because I have a duty to finish this fic and everyone’s waiting for the next chapter and if I don’t hurry up and post it then I’ll get Tumblr messages saying “when can we expect the next chapter” and - suddenly I realise, wait. I’m not actually obliged to do any of this.

This is my hobby.

I am 100% allowed to stop doing this at any point I want to.

“But you have a duty to the people who’ve--”

Look, I get that this isn’t something anyone wants to hear, but... no. I don’t. I’m an exhausted thirty-something sitting in her pyjamas after work, having a cry because my hobby somehow turned into a full-time job on top of my already miserable full-time job. AO3 writers don’t have a duty to do what they’re doing. Fanworks are literally a gift of time and energy from a complete stranger. I’d love to be able to ignore the people being abusive towards writers, but I can’t. And, again - this is my hobby. I’m not obliged to ignore the abuse and just get on with the task. If I’m upset, I’m allowed to stop. (Let’s say I joined a knitting club. Let’s say some of the members were routinely vicious and awful to anyone who got “too good” at knitting, and none of the other members ever hit them with any consequences for their behaviour. I don’t have a duty to stick around at Toxic Knitting Club, even if I never finished that pair of socks I started. If the club cares about its own survival, then it needs to make the environment feel safe and welcoming. It can’t just expect people to ignore the nastiness.)

OP, I blanked your name and pfp from this message because I don’t want you to get grief. But I’ve searched for your username in my email inbox, and found that this is the first time you’ve ever spoken to me. You’ve never reached out to chat or be kind or make friends, but you’ve reached out to prod me when you think that I’m being tardy with delivery of your content. Chapters 1 to 43 appeared at least once a week, sometimes twice or even three times a week. Did it cross your mind that maybe there’s a reason why chapter 44 hasn’t dropped yet? Did you think, something must be wrong, maybe I should ask if they’re okay? No, you just came to bang on the vending machine. I’m sorry if this is an uncomfortable lesson to learn, but the writers in your fandom aren’t staff. We’re guests. Tonight, when I get home from work, I have the option to run a long bath, have a cry and play The Sims until I fall asleep, or the option to sit down at my desk and write something for you, even though I might get harassed and bullied for it. You haven’t tipped the scales in the direction you meant to.

I don’t know how to even begin concluding this post.

I’ve been struggling ever since I was dogpiled back in September. I feel very lonely and very tired. Twitter is an awful bloody website and it’s structured around division and argument. I’ve been feeling better since I came back to Tumblr. My breaks at work are now spent scrolling through pretty GIFs or cool meta or funny things about Izzy, rather than drama, and it’s helping. So... I don’t know, OP. Don’t start being like this here. I’m fighting so hard to find reasons to stay in OFMD. Life is rough at the minute, and I want to spend my free time feeling happy and safe with people who see me as a friend, not a vending machine. I’m doing everything a professional writer does, but for no pay, with no protection or support from a publisher, and I’m fitting it around a full-time job. That’s... well, that’s the situation. That’s the situation all your fan writers are in, however well they seem to be handling it. It’d be great if you could reflect on that.

TLDR; this is my hobby, and I work on my hobby when it feels fun.

[i-care-bout-things-too]

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Love you babe!! I know the answer to some of these but 🫶

Wheezing so hard rn kitty cat you sent like 1/3 the list

Okay so—

👀: I started a Jon/Dami civilian au FOREVER ago, and it’s *this* close to being finished. I really can’t wait to post it because it’s a fun mix of fluffy and angsty (the latter is my specialty), where Jon/Dami have a very unusual first meeting when Damian walks into the veterinarians office Jon works at concussed, bleeding, and cuddling an inured raccoon.

“I am fine.” He says, resisting Jon’s attempts to be seated. He ignores Jon’s bewildered look as well and proffers up the raccoon he’s swaddled and had up to that point been practically cuddling. “Help him. I have grievously injured him and I am at fault.”

While admirable, Jon really wants to point out that he also looks pretty injured and also needs help. “Sir,” He replies calmly, even though this guy can’t be too much older than him. “You’re bleeding. I will help both of you, but we need to call 911 now and get your head checked. If I give you the phone and take the raccoon, could you describe the situation to an operator and explain what happened?”

To Jon’s horror, tears well up in the man’s green eyes. “You’re right. We should call the police, I need to be arrested for taking his life.”

❌: hmmm, now this is a bit of a hard one, I tend to write across a bunch of tropes and don’t really judge people for indulging in theirs… I genuinely can’t think of an answer, you’ll have to tell me something I forgot after I post this.

🎶: I’m always listening to music while I write. My music varies heavily month to months. I tend to find a new batch of songs and listen to them on loop while I write until it’s done or I get sick of them. As you know, I listened to Stranger by Thomas Day for the second chapter of the fic I gifted you, Rook, which is about very sad, angsty stuff centered around Tim and Damian. Click the fic name to end up on ao3!

✨: I actually love my own work sometimes, maybe not *always*, but there are fics I’m especially proud of. I’ll recommend (myself, yes!) Leave a Message, which is a civilian au fic about Damian celebrating his second Christmas ever, while really missing Dick who’s driving a taxi around Bludhaven unable to remember his family who’s waiting for him to come home. Trust me on this one, read it, I won’t let you down.

🛒: Damian running away. It’s a staple in a decent number of my fics, possibly because he does it A LOT in canon too. If I counted the number of fics where Damian was running away from his family or his problems, I think I’d be counting a majority of my fics.

🎢: This…okay look, I’m answering these like I’ve only ever written Batfam fic, which isn’t true, but we’re going to pretend it is to persevere some of my dignity. ANYWAY, definitely going to point a finger at Unimportant and Like We Were Then. Unimportant has spiralled beyond my control, and there are characters and things going on in it that I wasn’t planning for or expecting. Meanwhile, LWWT went from a 5+1 to a 33k word monstrosity with a plot that wasn’t planned either, but I’m actually quite proud of. Hoping to get the epilogue up soon ♥️

🤡: Basically the entirety of I Think I Have A Ghost in which Jason can’t remember his time in the league, and there’s a small child sized wraith who’s been following him around for weeks. These things are not unrelated. I’m proud of both works in the series, but particularly:

He drops a bag of tea in each mug, sits on one of a few stools around the kitchen island, and slides one of the mugs across the table to the side opposite of him.

He waits for the presence to decide what it wants to do.

“It’s going to over steep.” He tries.

It shouldn’t work. What ghost drinks tea?

Apparently, his.

The kid, because it really is an actual child, on silent feet, steps through the doorway to the kitchen and scales the stool in front of the steeping tea. All of this is done without a sound or any indication that this whole situation is really bizarre.

Jason raises a brow at the kid, and takes a sip of his tea. The kid copies the motion, only making the slightest face of distaste.

So not only is he not a ghost, Jason decides, he’s a posh not-a-ghost.

“Cool.” Jason says. “Wanna explain whatever this—” He motions between them, “—Is, kid?

The kid takes a longer sip.

Okay then.

Thank you for asking all these, Kat ♥️

[depressedhouseplant]

🔞 Just Fucking Write - Day 37 🔞

Prompt: Your ex married someone else, but a drunken hookup reveals feelings still exist on both sides

Tags: Drunk sex, cheating, unprotected sex, somehow this bitch turned into a wholeass fic

A/N: Cheating fics are my guilty pleasure. Cheating fics where they find out they still love each other is basically crack for me. I don’t condone cheating or engaging in sexual activity while drunk or high IRL. The good news is this is fiction so onwards! Also you can blame Mingi’s new song for this brainrot

“Mingi?”

“Yunho?”

Mingi knew he was drunk, but he couldn’t possibly be drunk enough to hallucinate a whole person. A whole person he hadn’t seen or spoken to in 5 years. A whole person who also happened to be the love of his life.

“What are you doing here?” Mingi asked.

“Bar hopping for a friend’s bachelor party. What are you doing here?” Yunho asked.

“Getting drunk,” Mingi replied. Yunho stared at him for a moment then started laughing. “What?”

“I guess that is what you do at a bar. Mind if I sit?” he nodded to the seat next to Mingi.

“Go ahead,” Mingi shrugged, trying to act like he wasn’t having a series of small heart attacks over seeing Yunho again.

“I’ll have what he’s having,” Yunho waved at the bartender. The ring on the fourth finger of his left hand flashed in the dim light.

“You got married,” Mingi said.

“I thought you heard,” Yunho said as the bartender slid the glass over to him.

“I did, I guess I just…haven’t thought about it,” Mingi told him. Yunho had married one of the richest men in Korea so even though their mutual friend group was torn on whether or not to tell Mingi, the news did it for them. “How would he feel about you talking to your ex?”

“He’s out of the country right now. Happens a lot when you’re a big shot CEO,” Yunho replied. If Mingi didn’t know any better, Yunho’s voice had an edge to it. Mingi also noticed that Yunho dodged the question. “Jesus Christ, are you drinking lighter fluid?”

“Just cheap whiskey,” Mingi laughed.

“Good gods, I think it burned a hole in my esophagus,” Yunho coughed. Mingi gave him a few solid slaps on the back.

“That’s what happens when you get used to the expensive stuff,” he said.

“Actually I don’t really drink much these days,” Yunho replied.

“Oh,” Mingi noised. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone more than 24 hours without drinking. It had become a habit along with a lot of other less than desirable traits. The breakup blindsided him, the marriage less than a year later knocked him back down, and he’d stayed there ever since.

“I mean, I’ve been drinking and I’m definitely feeling it. This was better than sitting at home by myself on a Friday night,” Yunho told him.

“Yunho!” they turned around and someone Mingi didn’t recognize was waving in their direction. “We’re going to the next place!”

“Well, it was good seeing you,” Mingi said. Yunho looked at him for a moment then back at his friend.

“I’ll catch up with you. I’ll text you when I’m leaving!” he yelled back. His friend looked like he was going to argue then simply gave him a thumbs up.

“I’d rather catch up with you,” Yunho told him.

“Isn’t really much to tell,” Mingi said as he finished his drink.

“Then in that case,” Yunho forced himself to chug his drink. “Do you want to dance?”

“Dance?” Mingi repeated.

“There’s music. There’s a dance floor. I would assume that means dancing is encouraged,” Yunho said. Mingi never really noticed the dance floor. He came to this bar because it was cheap, the drinks were strong, and it was walking distance from his apartment. Before he could form a reply, Yunho had already pulled him up and had him halfway to the dance floor. He let Yunho pull their bodies together and hold on to Mingi’s waist.

“I’m sorry,” Yunho blurted out.

“For what?” Mingi asked even though he knew what Yunho was going to say.

“For breaking up with you. I should’ve at least given you a hint or a chance or something. Now I’m stuck married to someone I rarely see and when he is here I’m just arm candy if we go out. I can’t remember the last time we kissed, much less had sex. I don’t necessarily believe in fate, but I was hoping to at least make out with a stranger in a bathroom tonight,” Yunho said.

“You came out tonight intending to cheat on your husband?” Mingi asked.

“I guess so, yeah,” Yunho sighed. Mingi was stunned. He never would’ve guessed Yunho was willing to cheat. It wasn’t who he was. Of course, a lot can happen in 5 years.

“I don’t suppose you’d consider me as an option,” Mingi said. Yunho responded by kissing him. He held Mingi’s face in his hands as his tongue made its way around Mingi’s mouth. Mingi returned the kiss, pulling them even closer. Their hips were desperately grinding together. Mingi hooked up with guys regularly, but none of them could ever compare to Yunho. And it wasn’t only because he had a massive cock.

“My apartment is 2 blocks from here and I’m up for more than just making out,” Mingi said when they finally parted.

“Sounds perfect,” Yunho agreed.

“I do have to pay my tab first,” Mingi told him.

“Let me,” Yunho said. They stumbled back to the bar and Yunho pulled a black card out of his wallet. “For both of ours.”

The bartender examined the card, but this wasn’t the kind of place where people used black cards.

“Okay,” he said. The tab was paid, the card was returned, and the couple stumbled out toward Mingi’s apartment. This was beyond his wildest dreams. He’d resigned himself to never seeing Yunho again, much less touching him or kissing him. Yet here they were, making out in the elevator of his building trying not to strip each other. Through some minor miracle they made it through the door before the clothes began to come off.

“This is new,” Yunho traced the butterfly tattoo on Mingi’s neck with his lips. They’d made it to the bed and Yunho was in Mingi’s lap, both in just their underwear. “And you never used to paint your nails.”

“I guess I’m going through my emo kid phase about a decade too late,” Mingi replied, leaning back and resting his weight on his hands basking in the feeling of Yunho’s mouth on his neck. Yunho’s hands roved over Mingi’s torso like he was trying to remember the shape of it.

“I think I like it,” Yunho said.

“Good,” Mingi replied.

“So, like I said, I haven’t done this in a while, but if you want to…” Yunho began.

“No, no condoms. I get tested regularly,” Mingi cut him off.

“How do you know that was what I was going to say? I could’ve been suggesting you top,” Yunho laughed.

“Because I know you. Even after all these years, I can’t forget a single thing about you even when I wanted to. You asked every time if I wanted you to use a condom and the answer every time was no. Also, I think we both know you topping is the better option,” Mingi replied.

“You’re just saying that because I have a big dick,” Yunho kissed him.

“Maybe or maybe why change it when it works?” Mingi told him.

“Fair enough,” Yunho agreed. “Personally, I think we’ve had our underwear on way too long.”

“I agree,” Mingi nodded.

“Lie back,” Yunho instructed when Mingi handed him the lube after they were naked. He warmed it up on his fingers and slid one finger into Mingi.

“Yunho, I,” he gasped.

“Relax, let me take care of you. Let me do what I failed to do before,” Yunho replied. Mingi’s heart clenched. What he failed to do before. “I assume you’ve been taking smaller cocks?”

“I don’t need forever to be prepped,” Mingi said.

“Just confirming,” Yunho grinned down at him and was suddenly 3 fingers deep in him. Mingi grunted in surprise. “What was that about not being prepped?”

“Shut up,” Mingi glared. Yunho didn’t reply, he kept opening Mingi up.

“I think you’re ready,” Yunho declared, pulling his fingers out and watching Mingi clench around nothing.

“Yunho,” he whined.

“Don’t worry, baby. Just one more thing,” Yunho took his wedding ring off and put it on the bedside table. Then he lubed up his cock and slid into Mingi’s desperate hole.

“You’re…shit…fuck…” Mingi grunted.

“Forgot how big I was?” Yunho teased.

“Maybe,” Mingi whined.

“I’m gonna take you slow. Make you feel every inch of me. You’ll remember soon enough,” Yunho told him, bracing himself on his arms looking down at his former lover.

“Please,” Mingi whimpered.

“Of course,” Yunho began to slowly undulate his hips. As he moved, memories came flooding back. Ones Mingi thought he’d buried forever. Their first time. The time on the table at his parents’ house. Their anniversaries. Worst of all, their last time.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Yunho lied on top of him and kissed his jaw.

“I can’t let you go again. I can’t,” Mingi whispered.

“You won’t have to,” Yunho replied. “I saw you tonight and I knew. I knew I could never leave you again. I’ve been paying for leaving you every day since I did it. I hope you can forgive me.”

“You can’t say shit like that when you’re balls deep in me,” Mingi looked at him.

“Too late,” Yunho kissed him.

“Fuck me like you mean it and I’ll consider taking you back,” Mingi ran his fingers down Yunho’s face.

“Well since you put it that way,” Yunho sat up, pulled Mingi’s hips up onto his thighs, and began fucking him harder than he’d been fucked in years. Mingi didn’t even have to touch himself. Yunho could make him come on just his cock. Yunho would make him come on just his cock.

“Open your eyes, baby,” Mingi hadn’t even realized he closed them until Yunho said something. Mingi opened his eyes and they stared at each other as Yunho tipped Mingi over the edge. He didn’t know he had that much come in him. Yunho kept going until he was satisfied that Mingi was fucked dry. Then he leaned back over and with only a few more thrusts, his cock was emptying into Mingi. Mingi relaxed even more as he felt Yunho’s hot come shoot into him. Yunho rolled them over when he finished so Mingi was on top of him.

“Did you mean what you said?” Mingi asked as Yunho played with his hair.

“I did,” Yunho replied.

“But you’ll lose everything,” Mingi said.

“If by ‘everything’ you mean expensive shirts and black cards then yes, but I’ll have you back. I’ll have the only person I ever loved back,” Yunho told him. “Though I might have snuck a clause in the prenup that I’m no longer bound by NDAs if we’re divorced regardless of why so I can keep the expensive shirts and black cards even if he finds out I cheated on him. Even if that wasn’t the case, I’d rather be happy and middle class than rich and miserable.”

“I never stopped loving you, even when I wanted to,” Mingi propped his chin up on Yunho’s chest.

“I never stopped loving you either. I was just an idiot,” Yunho replied.

“Yes, yes you were,” Mingi said.

“I won’t fuck it up this time. I promise,” Yunho weaved their fingers together and kissed Mingi’s hand.

“I believe you,” Mingi smiled. “I believe you.”

[sitp-recs]

Eager for the Sky by @oknowkiss

Harry/Draco, minor Harry/Ron and Draco/Blaise (2022, Mature, 35k)

It was announced, just as the Triwizard Tournament had been, at the start of term feast. A year-long, international Quidditch varsity match — the inaugural Wizarding Academy Cup. In which Harry is Hogwarts' star Seeker, Draco is on the bench, and they both have a thing or two to learn about playing for the same team.

Draco hated that, the way Potter would sneak up on him, proving he’d been listening. He had always seemed to be caught up in his own head, never paying attention to anything or anyone but himself, but now that Draco was starting to know him, he was beginning to see the truth of Potter.

When I started this blog over two years ago, I’d write (smaller, but still) recs for every fic I liked. At some point I was reccing up to 3 fics a day and started bookmarking them all to keep track of my own recs - maybe that’s why I got more than 600 bookmarks lol - and it was really fun and fulfilling, but it also demanded A LOT of time and energy. As they both became scarce, I changed strategies and decided to only rec fics that touched me in a more personal way. These days I write recs mostly on a whim; it happens less and less because I’m not reading as much, sure, but also because it needs to be a frantic urge, almost like a trance, and it needs to hit me right after I’m finished a fic otherwise it won’t be fresh in my mind.

I’ve wanted to rec something from E for so long and after being left intrigued and impressed by any day now and licence to kill (two solid recs if you haven’t read those yet!) I couldn’t see what was holding me back. Now I ask myself if I had been waiting for Eager for the Sky. And not necessarily because it’s the perfect fit for my tastes - in fact, I barely read or care for 8th year fics nowadays - but because this fic found me at the moment I needed it the most. Coming back from a brief hiatus (that felt longer than life itself) right before Christmas last year, I can say that reading this was a refreshing and lovely experience, but also magical in many ways. And funnily enough, this rec has been sitting in my drafts, half-finished, since January. Once again, something I couldn’t figure out was holding me back until I saw this gorgeous binding post by @a-gay-old-time (go check it right now!!) and I accidentally found out that last week was E’s one year fandomversary! Perfect timing to wrap this up and post it as a humble homage to one of the authors whose talent I’ve enjoyed and admired the most in the past year. What a gift to have you in this fandom, and what a privilege to read this incredible 8th year romance!

Way beyond the delight of watching Draco and Harry fall in love over the course of a (very cool and inventive) Quidditch championship, I was so touched by the amount of tenderness, youth and heart this story coveys. There is something unbearably sweet about an enemies to friends to lovers journey that explores the wonders of being young and free to flirt, experience and discover. I could feel the joy of falling in love all over again through every line here, through every knowing smile and surreptitious touch. The slow burn is masterfully done in a way that never feels empty, boring or dragged. Every little moment brings new discoveries about each other and is important to bring them together as friends, and then as lovers.

It’s worth mentioning that there’s a fair amount of longing, UST and some infuriating delicious cockblocking but somehow the way it’s written and the context it’s given make the experience even sweeter and more rewarding. I was in no rush to see this over and found it very charming that they saw value in wanting, teasing, flirting, chasing. Because I really ready young Drarry I had almost forgotten how fun a pining Draco can be in all his teenage complexity, capable of signaling confidence, vulnerability, inadequacy and tenderness all at once.

His emotions felt so very real I could feel a lump in my throat, and I was especially moved by his genuine response to Harry’s prior involvement with Ron (Be still my Rarry heart!!! For those wondering: this is a minor but significant plot point that made my heart ache and grow twice its size, I’m so soft for this brOTP! By the way - side Rarry & Blaco? A fic after my own heart!). Even more brilliant is the fact that E published Eager for the Sky and July Tree pretty much back to back and these two fantastic 8th year tales complement each other perfectly. They got a very different tone from her usual edgy “mature Drarry” which I also love - and maybe that’s why I was caught off guard by how fast I felt emotionally connected to this softer, more innocent brand of love. Not to mention that superb art by @upthehillart - killing me softly as per usual, with the ultimate teenage Drarry headcanon what a treat!!

This fic was exactly what I needed and it gave me the delicious catharsis I was looking for without really knowing. It pulled me back into the fandom with its light, easy, unpretentious young romance, sprinkled with some excellent dialogue and charming banter that will make you laugh out loud at their sass, plus a sweet and delightful mix of curious, inexperienced but extremely insightful and lovable characters. I’m so happy I found this fic and that I got to write a rec for it! Thank you E for sharing this beauty and so many other fantastic stories with us - I’m delighted to share this space with you and can’t wait to see what comes next 💜

Read on AO3

[bbutterflies]

2023 fanfic year in review

Thank you @kasienda for the tag!!! Been meaning to do this since I wrote so much in 2023!

Fics completed this year:

Oh my god I was writing lovesquare still at the beginning of the year… who was I back then… I finished I’d fall in love with you a thousand times and Meant to be, and then wrote all of Intertwined. I try to hold these all in kind thoughts. I don’t think they’re all that great, personally, but I just hadn’t written as much when I wrote them and never outlined or planned ahead. But I’m happy people liked them!

And then I went off the deep end with adrino:

I’ll give myself a name (something stupid and pretentious)

Falling into place

ways to say I love you

promise me forever

The memories we (don’t) make

Not much of a cat person

The moment I knew (I’d no choice but to love you)

Chemistry with him (for Ninovember 2023! I wrote the entire thing in about a month and a half and posted daily in November. My life took a serious turn for the worse by the end of the month and the comments and support on this fic were so amazing and incredible and kept me going!)

Love you snow much

And then I ended strong with this incredibly devastating (but really good) loveywalker one shot: fine line

Number of words written:

My ao3 stats say I published 329,988 words in 2023 which is insane????? I don’t know how I did that but oh my god it was so fun. I know I wrote way more that I didn’t publish with edits and stuff I scrapped, but I don’t keep track because it would just be way too difficult… at least another 100-150k if I had to guess in cut scenes and wips I haven’t published and stuff I just decided I didn’t like. I don’t know how in the world I managed to write so much while already a sleep-deprived grad student but I definitely don’t regret it. It was a blast.

Your most popular fic:

By hits, Meant to be. Oh man… if I wrote this now I’d do so much differently. I was surprised people loved it so much, and looking back, I’m like oh god… the mistakes… but it’s all a learning process! :) and I learned and grew so much from this one.

By kudos, ways to say I love you, which I didn’t expect to gain any traction at all. It’s just over 600 words, something silly and cute I figured a couple people would like, and it totally blew up.

Your personal fav:

I know I’ve said this before but Falling into place, hands down, is my number one. I know I’ve also said before it’s such a queer, teenage experience, but it is and it means so much to me. Being in high school, being in love with your friends and not even knowing it, aughhh I just love it. I love the way I wrote it. I’m so proud of it still!

Your fav scene:

Oh man… probably the kiss scene in chapter 9 of The moment I knew (I’d no choice but to love you). I wrote it so many times and made so many edits but I ended up so proud of it!

A fic or scene that challenged you:

I had a lot of fun with most of my fics! Having multiple wips on the backburner gave me a way to take a break and work on other stuff when I was having trouble with one and I can usually come back with fresh eyes later and never have too much trouble. But right now, If I hold you too close is challenging emotionally. It’s super personal and self-indulgent, and digging into a lot of my own past and traumas and mistakes to write it has been harder than I thought it would be. I’m excited to keep working on it but it’s been draining at times for sure.

A line of writing you’re proud of: 

Oh man, I don’t know how to pick a single line… I’ll have to go with this (even though it’s technically more than one line) from Falling into place:

Adrien’s eyes were locked on Nino’s. He was staring back with something in his expression Adrien couldn’t quite read, something he hadn’t seen before. Or maybe he had but he’d just never been looking.

A comment that touched you:

A few come to mind! I’ve had several people comment on my adrino fics telling me they hadn’t shipped them before but they do after reading, and honestly that’s my number one life goal at the moment haha. I love adrino! I want more people to love them!

I genuinely love all the comments I get. It means so much that people read and love my work. The people who say so specifically always get me teared up… I’ve gotten several on my fluff fics that said they were going through stuff in life and my writing was a bright spot for them, and genuinely that’s insane to me. To touch someone else, to have a positive impact on their life through art…. oughhh it’s just so human and raw and I love it! I’m so honored!

Something that inspired your writing:

I honestly spent a lot of time writing what I personally wanted/needed to read! I needed more domestic adrino fluff, and I wasn’t finding quite what I wanted to read, so… I wrote it for myself! I love rereading them knowing it’s exactly what I want to read, and knowing other people enjoyed them too. I’ve been incredibly selfish in my writing this year (in the best way) and it’s been so inspiring also to see other people want to read it too! The moment I knew (I’d no choice but to love you) was something I didn’t think would garner much attention at all. A rarepair and a super silly trope? I thought whatever, I’m writing it for me, hopefully a couple others like it, and it got so much more positive attention than I thought. I’m so glad!

Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

Probably figuring out I’ll give myself a name (something stupid and pretentious)! I think I’ve mentioned before I was originally writing it as a lovesquare fic. I wrote it and rewrote it like six times before I thought, no, this should be about Adrien and Nino. And then it just clicked!

Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

I have a secret wip in my docs I’ve talked about a couple times, but it’s a slowburn teenage adrino and I really would love to write all of it! I think I’m struggling to decide exactly what kind of story I want to tell and it’s making it hard to outline and write when I don’t have a clear end direction, but that’s something I’d definitely love to figure out.

And I’d love to get back into lovesquare, too! I have a few wips that I keep putting on the backburner but I really want to dust them off and finish them, and maybe start some new stuff. Writing my loveywalker fic was SO fun (if devastating) and I can’t believe it’s been months since I sat down and wrote lovesquare.

This isn't a direct writing goal, but I'm determined to comment more on fics I read. I love getting comments, and I don't leave them enough on the fics I love, and that's something I really want to change!

Anyone you would like to thank?

@kasienda and @flightfoot I think are tied for commenting on my fics, and it really means so much to have cheerleaders in my inbox!!! Especially writing adrino when readership is lower, it was a huge help to have people reading and commenting and cheering me on <3

@asukiess and @isabugs recently for screaming with me in general about this show! You’ve inspired me to write so much more… I can’t wait to be absolutely unhinged in 2024.

And all my commenters on ao3!! I don’t know everyone’s tumblr and couldn’t possibly tag them all but it means so much every time I get a comment. I wouldn’t be writing as much as I do without the direct support! Thank you!!!