#I'm sorry.. I know she was based off of Taylor Swift (and that she's a country singer)

[astonmartinii]

nonsense... or is it? | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem singer!reader

face claim: sabrina carpenter

based on this request: sooo, anyways,,, i was thinking maybe a smau where Charles is playing the guy who Milo was and this obviously breaks the internet even more and this leads to them dating ??? idk, just like a really wholesome one where she was his celebrity crush and now they're dating bc of them getting know each other more bc of the music video. sorry if this is all over the place but yeah. - @whoreks

MASTERLIST | BUY ME A KO-FI?

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 1,200,441 others

yourusername: holla babes !!! the feather music video is heading your way fast xxx if only my real boyfriends were like my music videos ones ...

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user1: MOTHER

user2: finally music videos are back baby !!

taylorswift: you can still make the whole place shimmer ✨

yourusername: thanks to you baby

user3: oh to be able to call taylor swift baby

user4: y/n's shade is so underrated - i too wish her boyfriends were as good as her mv ones

user5: she's got such a good eye for casting why can't she do this in her actual love life

user6: okay but he's hot based off a single shoulder i'm excited

user7: you got that from a SHOULDER?

user8: he's TALL?

user9: babe y/n is like 4'2 she makes everyone look tall

user10: say what you want about the catholic church, they got the aesthetic down pat

yourbff1: so we aren't asking the mv boyf out? boring.

yourusername: we have lil things called phones? USE IT HOE

user11: charles leclerc in the likes

user12: so true of him

user13: unless he's... the guy

user14: babe he's way too short lol

user15: have yall seen the sky ad? baby aint acting any time soon

yourusername

liked by yourbff1, charles_leclerc and 1,763,550 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: OMG you guys blew the feather music video up !! i'm sure it had nothing to do with this random guy i found off the street? jokes, thank you charles for being the perf mv boyf xx

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user17: HOLY FUCKING SHIT

user18: celeb crush inception no one touch me

charles_leclerc: thank you for my music video debut, maybe you can return the favour one day?

yourusername: i'll return any favour you want

yourbff1: dial down the desperation babe

charles_leclerc: what if i want her to dial it up please?

yourbff1: do NOT encourage her

yourusername: please encourage me :)

user19: Y/N STAND UP PLEASE

user20: actually y/n is so real have yall seen that man YUM

liked by yourusername

user21: y/n is a genius for fancasting her future bf in her music video

danielricciardo: THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT? SHARL WHEN I CATCH YOU

pierregasly: and me :( i thought our friendship meant more ....

charles_leclerc: it was a secret

yourusername: he doesn't kiss and tell xoxo

alexalbon: WHAT ??????

charles_leclerc: okay we can stop joking now

yourusername: fine...

user22: the way charles was defo typing that through tears

user23: y/n make the move we believe in you

user24: believe in her? she can get anyone she wants he's gotta STEP UP

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 2,099,441 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: had a blast filming for my first ever music video, thank you y/n !!

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user25: i'm feeling a new unhealthy attachment forming

yourusername: feel free to come back any time soon

charles_leclerc: or maybe you can come to me?

yourusername: is this my paddock debut?

charles_leclerc: make sure you're wearing red and it sure can be

yourusername: let me check the wardrobe

user26: i will pass away if we get y/n at a race... in the ferrari garage ???

pierregasly: let it be known i am still angry that you didn't tell me, especially after all the weird rants i've listened to

alexalbon: me too

georgerussell63: me too

landonorris: me too

danielricciardo: me too

carlossainz55: me too

maxverstappen1: me too

charles_leclerc: why is max here?

maxverstappen1: that's what you're taking from this?

charles_leclerc: yeah why are you in my business

maxverstappen1: you make it my business you talk about her all the time

yourusername: oh really ???

charles_leclerc: HE'S A BIG FAT LIAR HE'S ALWAYS BEEN A BIG FAT LIAR ALL HIS LIFE INCLUDING WHEN I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY PUSHED HIM IN A PUDDLE

maxverstappen1: YOU DID PUSH ME IN THAT PUDDLE

yourusername: what is going on here?

user27: poor y/n being thrown into the grid drama

user28: poor charles with the grid trying to expose him

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,334,661 others

yourusername: clearly was feeling myself this week

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user31: lol why is max here

maxverstappen1: doing my due diligence as an investigative journalist

charles_leclerc: choke.

user32: is that charles? are we in the soft launch?

user33: let's not get ahead of ourselves, we know charles doesn't dress that well

user34: consider this: girlfriend effect

user35: girlfriend effect is gonna have to do some heavy lifting when it comes to charles' wardrobe

yourbff1: you think you're so slick don't you

yourusername: maybe. maybe not?

yourbff1: you're so annoying

yourusername: annoyingly cute?

liked by charles_leclerc

yourbff1: keep your nose out of women's business leclerc

charles_leclerc: SLANDER

user36: i mean they seem to have the same sense of humour

user37: not to sound insane but they are perfect for each other and i will be passing away if they are not together

pierregasly: interesting

danielricciardo: add it to the folder

charles_leclerc: folder ???

maxverstappen1: leave us journalists be

charles_leclerc: can you even read?

yourusername: GET HER JADE

maxverstappen1: add that as well

charles_leclerc: why can't we win?

user38: what is going on in the house of commons

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 2,331,663 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: i don't believe in soft launches

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user39: we been knew... but OMG PARENTS

user40: i am crying they're so hot

yourusername: hawt bf obtained

charles_leclerc: sexy gf in my inventory

yourusername: you're such a cute patootie

charles_leclerc: i cannot speak my mind or instagram will censor me

yourusername: ...oop hurry up and come back :(

charles_leclerc: about to break all US speeding laws xoxo

yourusername: not you in your charli xcx era

user41: he's with her ... in the US ... could we get y/n paddock debut in vegas ???

user42: would only be right i fear

user43: the scheduling just about makes sense before she has to go back to opening for taylor in south america

user44: now why did vegas not get in their bag and get y/n to perform at the opening ceremony?

pierregasly: way to ruin the investigation

danielricciardo: yeah we were in our sherlock holmes era

maxverstappen1: have to spoil everything don't you charles 🤨

charles_leclerc: i thought you guys wanted to know who my girlfriend is?

alexalbon: yes, but we wanted to expose it :(

yourusername: CORNY

pierregasly: oh no. he has someone on his side now

yourusername: damn right frenchie. i can hear your asshole twitching from here

pierregasly: WHAT ???

charles_leclerc: idk what that means but YEAH PIERRE TAKE THAT

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 2,114,762 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: gutted not to be on the top step but an overall great weekend in vegas. glad to have y/n by my side this weekend before she's off again to slay the stage xx

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user48: charles unironically using the word slay, the girlfriend effect knows no bounds

user49: the sky camera zooming in on y/n watching the podium

user50: i think we watched her fall in love in real time

user51: i mean look at the material... podium charles hits so different i think I FELL IN LOVE

yourusername: you're a winner to me babe

charles_leclerc: and that's all that matters

yourusername: NOPE STAY HUNGRY GET THEM POINTS AND DESTROY THE REST OF THE FIELD

charles_leclerc: okay :)

yourusername: good boy

pierregasly: never say that in public again

maxverstappen1: is this why he's blushing so much in the press conference?

charles_leclerc: NO. NO REASON

yourusername: you sure?

charles_leclerc: i am the unluckiest driver ever and am screwed over at every turn sue me if i like a lil praise

user52: charles is so real for that i also want y/n to tell me i'm doing a good job

alexalbon: enough time has passed. @yourusername can lily get some extra tickets for the eras tour

yourusername: of course. anything for my new bestie

lilymunhe: thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuu. charles you have amazing taste

charles_leclerc: i know :)

yourusername: i mean i got you, so who's the real winner here?

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 1,667,982 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & taylorswift

yourusername: my leg of the eras tour has come to an end :( this was such an insane opportunity, thank you so much taylor xx but this also means i can go annoy charlie until he has to go back to work !!

one last nonsense outro:

i met this lovely boy named charlie,

he races round the world for ferrari,

giving it to me everyday like ari

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user53: i think y/n might actually be winning in life

user54: is she referencing everyday by ariana grande which is literally just a song about having constant sex?

yourusername: yes and what about it? f1 drivers have great stamina

arthurleclerc: DELETE ASAP

yourusername: no can do baby leclerc

user55: fave outro for real

charles_leclerc: i am blushing !!

pierregasly: she just told millions of people all you do is fuck and now you're blushing ???

yourusername: i don't think mr doggy emoji is talking right now

charles_leclerc: at least y/n did it in an artful way

pierregasly: believe me i know YOU WON'T STOP SINGING IT DOWN THE PHONE YOU MENACE

yourusername: you sing my songs :) ?

carlossainz55: ALL THE TIME

yourusername: i don't like your tone mr 🤨

charles_leclerc: i am just showing my love :(

yourusername: @pierregasly @carlossainz55 you made him sad APOLOGIZE IMMEDIATELY

pierregasly: sorry?

carlossainz55: sorry i guess?

charles_leclerc: thank you :) i shall continue to sing to my heart's content

yourusername: good.

taylorswift: you were amazing !! i'll see you soon my love xx

yourusername: i'm hearing double date ??

taylorswift: i'm sure that can be arranged

charles_leclerc: OMG

user56: charles and travis are really the top tier himbo bfs and i love them for that

fin.

note: i really loved writing this so i hope this was everything you imagined and more!! i'm just getting into sabrina's music but i was a girl meets world stan so... i hope i did the nonsense outro justice xxx

[delusional-day-dreamer]

New Year's Kiss - p.b

‣ paige bueckers x reader

‣ wc: 3567

‣‣ synopsis: you were known as one of the calmest, most well-tempered players on the ucon wbb roster. so what happens if you lose your cool for the first time in a game? takes place at the uconn vs notre dame game on dec 31, 2022: based off this post/req from my nonnie 🫶, and lowk inspired by paige's bloody nose at the uconn vs seton hall game!

‣‣‣ a/n: hey guys.... i'm so sorry for being so inactive but the writer's block hit me HARD. I have a few more drafts in progress I hope to release this week, thank y'all SO MUCH for the support and patience! Also, for the opponent in this game i refer to her solely as the, "marquette girl", as i don't know their players that well and don't want to use an irl girl!

Up until the second half of the game, everything had been going decent for you. Sure, this game was one of the most aggressive of the season, but you were right in the peak of your season, so it made sense that emotions were running high with the pressure to do well.

But that didn't excuse the fact that the Marquette girl that had been assigned to defend you had been playing dirty the entire night. After the fucking hellish week you had just gotten through, this girl was about to be the straw that broke the camel's. your, back.

After Paige's acl tear in August and the work and energy you had been endlessly pouring into your game from the past two and a half years till now, you had basically solidified your place as one of the main starters on the team, which meant you were receiving a lot more consistent playing time. The thought of being a more prominent player on the team didn't panic you the way it might others, as you you were known for always being a very level-headed, reliable player under pressure, as you had been dubbed by the media as the "Silent Assassin". But tonight was proving to test your limits to the max.

Any time you were on the court for the first two quarters, the Marquette girl had been glued to you, illegally all up in your space, pushing and shoving at you, taunting you over and over again, and even tripping you once when you lunged for the ball. All of which she had done without receiving a single foul, which not only pissed you off, but also your teammates on the court, the players on your bench, and your coach.

And of course, the one time you had defended yourself against her in the second quarter was the only time the ref called a foul on both of you. She had nearly pressed herself up against you the second your hands came in contact with the ball, leaving you with no choice but to pass to your teammate Aaliyah to sink a layup, when she hooked her arm through yours and pulled just as the ball left your hands.

Her unnecessary aggression caused something to snap inside of you, as the second you felt her yank on your arm, you turned around to push her off of you, hard. She stumbled backwards a little bit, not tripping or hitting the ground in any way, but the damage had been done in the, very biased, eyes of the refs.

The two of you rapidly reacted, approaching each other as you were yelling out meaningless threats and a long string of curses. Thankfully, your teammates holding the two of you back firmly, preventing any further physical altercations.

The two of you both received technical fouls for the unnecessary physical contact and unsportsmanlike behaviour. However, the foul you received only irked you more. Why were the only fouls called on her when it involved you pushing back? Could they not see the way she was treating you the entire game?

And of course, Geno wasn't thrilled about one of his starters getting a tech in the first half of the game. While benched, he had chewed you out for losing your temper at her, especially for cursing, which was something refs never let slide. But his reprimands didn't hold the usual level of anger or frustration, as he internally agreed that the Marquette girl had it coming for her, but, he had to remain professional.

Of course basketball was a physical sport, and with aggression came some conflicts with other players, but her behaviour tonight was unprovoked and incredibly aggravating to you. Which only worsened in the third quarter.

After your tech, you had been trying your best to ignore the incredibly annoying actions of the Marquette girl, but you simply couldn't anymore after she had purposely elbowed you in the nose to make her shot.

You immediately stumbled backwards, folding over at the waist as your hands came up in an attempt to alleviate the intense throbbing your nose felt. You could feel the blood begin to dribble down to your lip as you walked over to the bench with Lou escorting you, awaiting the ref's call.

The refs decided to not call a foul on the other girl, claiming that she hadn't reached backwards on purpose, it was simply the angle of her basket and granted UConn two free throws. The call enraged you, and something inside you snapped. You very quickly forgot about the tissue you were firmly holding at your nostrils as you approached him, insisting with him that the call was blind and blatantly biased.

You hadn't noticed the blood resumed to flow down your face while arguing until it hit your mouth, but you paid no mind to the taste of iron that filled your mouth as you persisted angrily speaking to the ref.

"Paige, go get her before she gets another tech," Geno whispered into Paige's ears over by the bench.

She nodded at him, making her way over to you to pull you away from the ref who was now threatening to eject you from the game.

"Okay enough, you need to get checked out by the team medic," Paige wrapped her arm around your waist to pull you away from your heated conversation, despite your struggle against her. She wasn't that much taller than you, but the extra two ish inches she had on you were proving useful right now.

She dragged you over to the bench, ignoring your many protests. She pried the used, bloody tissue out of your fingers to toss to the medic waste bag, grabbing new ones from her hand to help your bloody nose. It was apparent to everyone on your team, even the fans watching, that your stubbornness wouldn't allow you to accept the call that easily and allow the medic to clean you up. So, Paige would just have to do it herself.

Since your first day on the Uconn campus, you and Paige had become extremely close. With the two of you being assigned roommates your freshman year, the COVID year, it would've been impossible to not become best friends, considering the fact that you spent all of your time together.

If not at practice or hanging out with the team, the two of you were trapped inside your dorm, forced to find company within each other for the entire year. And with Paige's injury her sophomore year, you were one of the only people she was able to open up to, other than Azzi, and you had become her comfort during her rehab time, both then and now. Despite no longer being roommates, you two still always hung out at each other's respective dorm, even having frequent sleepovers.

Your incredibly close relationship wasn't left unnoticed by the media either, especially social media platforms like tiktok. When Paige and Azzi denied the relationship allegations at the same time you made it clear that you liked girls, the internet quickly refocused their attention onto you and Paige, and neither of you had the heart to deny any rumors circulating. Considering that after Azzi, you were the least active on your social media when it came to anything other than basketball, it wasn't too hard to ignore the internet's speculation.

All of which to say, Paige had made it incredibly easy for you to catch feelings for her. Until her, you had never known what it was like to be completely head over heels for someone. The way your heart skipped any time the two of you made eye contact, the way your cheeks flushed when she brushed against you, and the chemistry the two of you shared on and off the court was undeniable.

Unbeknownst to you, she felt the exact same way, and for the last two years, everyone but you two could see the feelings you harbored for each other.

If only you could feel the way her heart was beating as she held your face in one hand, using the other to apply pressure to your nose and wipe away at the blood on your face, neck, and jersey as she listened to you rant about the refs and how they were cheating you guys out of fouls the entire game. Although, she wasn't able to focus on the words coming out of your mouth, only the plumpness of your lips as they moved, something you noticed as your verbal attack slowed down so you could take a breath in between your sentences.

"She's literally fucking stuck up my ass and the refs ignore her which is actual bullshit, the amount of times this girl has literally made unnecessary contact or-, Paige are you even listening to me?"

Her lingering gaze on your mouth quickly snapped up to your eyes, a sheepish smile settling onto her now flushed cheeks.

"Yeah, yeah sorry."

She wiped the remaining blood from around your nose before calling over the medic to check your nose. A small bruise had formed near the bridge, but thankfully it wasn't broken. While she was checking your nose, Paige did her best to avoid meeting your curious stares.

Of course the two of you had small moments where you could envision that Paige felt the same for you. But never one that was so blatantly obvious as her staring at your lips, especially so publicly.

Nonetheless, you barely had time to analyze the interaction before the medic was clearing you to return to the game, Paige patting your butt (this) as you jogged by her to sub back into the game, which, until the handshake line, went without any further incidents, despite your team beating them by 13 points (HVL VS TEXAS Y'ALL).

When passing by you, you heard her mutter under her breath, "fucking bitch," in response to your half-hearted, "good game". It was safe to say you didn't take that well, responding to her with, "you wanna come say that to my fucking face? Pussy ass bitch." For both of your sakes, Dorka and one of her teammates were able to keep pushing the two of you down the line and out to the lockers before the post-game conference with Lou, Nika, and Dorka, which Geno insisted you attend to apologize for your behaviour.

***Small Time Skip***

"So Y/N, the multiple incidents that occured tonight with you and (BLANK) from Georgetown, do you have anything to say about them? I mean, you're known for being a very calm and collected player, but tonight we saw a very different side of you," a reporter questioned you. The questions for you from tonight's post-game conference mostly avoided the fight, treading the waters carefully as it was unlike anything you had ever been involved in.

"I'm not gonna try and cover for myself or anything, it was unprofessional and unacceptable for me to lose my temper on the court like that. Like you said, I've always tried to place an emphasis on just basketball when playing and avoid any other personal feelings or problems, but I guess tonight I didn't do as good of a job on that as I could of. This is something that I will keep in mind for all of our upcoming games as that's not the kind of image or reputation I want to set for myself or the team I represent. I would never want this kind of behaviour to be defining moments from our games because my teammates really put their all into every single one of their games, especially tonight's, and I don't want to create any personal animosity with the girls on the Marquette team, as I have a lot of respect for them."

Your diplomatic and cordial answer had appeased majority of the reporters, along with Geno and the team publicist in the back corner of the room. Except for one nosy reporter who seemed unhappy with your tactful response and was practically feining for drama.

“This one is for y/n, but with the events of today, you mentioned that you try to keep all personal feelings off the court. Is that an implication of some external underlying tension or problems between you and number (BLANK), as the two of you got quite physical today?”

What the fuck? Now they really were trying to start something between the two of you that never existed in the first place.

“No not at all. I have no connection with number (BLANK) off the court and don’t even personally know her. As I mentioned before, I have nothing but respect for the girls at Marquette and there are no hard feelings on my end. You know, basketball is a physical contact game and that just means that there a few rough moments here and there, it’s just part of the game.”

If they ask any more stupid questions about you and the Marquette girl you were actually gonna lose your mind. Especially if they somehow tie in the fact that you like girls with the fight.

Which, thankfully, they ended up dropping the fight for the rest of the interview, and you and the others were finally allowed to go out and celebrate New Year's Eve the way they had originally planned to.

The whole team, and Kayla of course, was prepared to celebrate at your favorite local bar, Ted's. All of the girls who were taken were bringing their partners along and those of you who were single were all ready to hunt someone down for a drunken kiss at midnight. Except you.

You were far too down bad for Paige to even fathom kissing someone else at the moment, especially not while going out with her and the rest of the team, who all knew about your ginormous crush on Paige.

Nonetheless, you still did your best to get ready quickly, wearing your baggiest pair of low-rise cargo pants and a very cropped white halter tank top in an attempt to cheer yourself up from the fact you wouldn't have a New Year's kiss this year, again.

But by the time you were throwing back shots at the bar like they were water, you couldn't find it in you to care about how single you were. It was common knowledge that you weren't the best at holding your liquor, as the team often made fun of your ability to get drunk off of two to three shots, which is exactly the position you found yourself in.

Until, of course, "guardian angel Paige" decided she needed to intervene in your drinkfest, walking up to your barstool and effectively cutting you off by having the bartender replace your drink with a regular shirley temple just before midnight so that she, or any of your other friends, wouldn't have to deal with you throwing up at four in the morning.

"You gotta go easy on the shots y/n/n, you're gonna hate yourself in the morning if you keep drowning your liver in alcohol."

"Funny, coming from Storrs's resident party girl, Miss Madison," you teased. There were only about twenty minutes left until bar's tv would depict the ball dropping in New York, and the disparity of your situation had begun to sink in.

Not only would you be suffering through another New Year's with no midnight kiss, but you had no relationships since last year or even a single talking stage, no potential relationship prospects for the future, and worst of all, no Paige.

"Yeah well, at least I can hold my drinks. You, on the other hand, are the most lightweight out of all of us. Besides, what happened to your little New Years tradition, the whole eating the grapes thing to find the love of your life or whatever?"

You went off on a little drunken tangent at this, complaining that it was completely ineffective, but also, the fact that it made you look stupid in front of the entire team when absolutely nothing came out of it.

"I mean it's so dumb. I don't get why my love life is so barren, like actually non-existent, it's not like I'm super unattractive or anything like that. Right? But like, I don't even have a midnight kiss this year, again," you grumbled to Paige, unaware of the way she was staring at your lips for the second time today, mesmerized by their movements.

"You are most definitely not unattractive. You're like one of the most attractive people I know. Besides, it's not like I'm kissing anyone this year," Paige reassured you, and somehow, your drunk brain simply did not process the way she had flusteredly complimented you.

"Yeah but you're Paige Bueckers," you emphasized, "you could kiss anyone in this bar if you wanted. Men and women, single and taken, would literally form a line two blocks down if you even mentioned wanting to kiss someone," you gazed up at Paige from your leaned position against the bartop, watching as the gears turned behind her eyes.

"Anyone in the bar? Like, anyone at all?" She asked you curiously, a small smirk graced her features as she peered down at you.

"Yeah probably, but there's only like two minutes left or something, so you should pick someone soon."

"Oh I already have someone picked out, I just don't know if they would kiss me back."

"Oh?" You felt your stomach drop at her statement, and you couldn't stop the jealousy from coursing through your veins if your life had depended on it. But Paige's unwavering gaze never left your face, and you could feel your cheeks flush at the way she was intently looking at you.

"Quite the staring problem tonight P?"

"Well it's pretty hard to not stare at the prettiest girl in the room," she flirted, scooting closer to you, effectively closing some of the distance between you two.

"I-, what?" You stuttered, taken back by Paige's actions.

"How many hints does I have to drop before you finally start picking up on them? I want to kiss you y/n, I want you."

The ten-second countdown had begun as Paige confessed to you, and you were left gawking at Paige's face, your heart threatening to give out from how fast it was beating.

"FIVE, FOUR,"

You yanked on Paige's belt loop, pulling her flush against your body as your eyes focused in on her lips.

"THREE, TWO, ONE, HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!""

Your right hand reached up to grab Paige's jaw at the end of the countdown, pulling her lips firmly down onto yours. The bar's loud chants barely registered to you as you lost yourself in the intoxication of Paige's lips. Your tongue glided across her lip as your mouths moved in unison, causing her to groan into you. You took it as an invitation to slip your tongue into her mouth, the kiss deepening with unrestrained passion.

Your built-up need for each other was apparent as you made out, sending shivers down your spine at the pressure of her mouth against yours. It felt as if she was the oxygen you needed to breathe, and now that you had her, there was no way you could let her go now.

***The next morning: New Year's Day***

Your eyes fluttered open with a pounding headache, yet, the utterly familiar weight of a certain pairs of hands around your waist provided a sense of comfort you knew only she could provide.

Paige's soft snores rung out throughout the room, and as you gently reached forward to her nightstand to grab your phone off charging, you realize it was still extremely early in the morning, not even eight a.m.

And yet, your phone was blowing up with notifications from all social media platforms, even your text messages had over a hundred notifications.

Confused, you click on the apps to check what all the fuss was about, quickly realizing what had happened.

The entire interaction between you and Paige at the game was recorded by the cameramen and had instantaneously made it's way all over the internet, only fueling the dating rumors about the two of you.

The comments and posts were going feral at the way Paige was the only one who could calm you down, the way she wrapped her arms around your waist to pull you back, her holding your face ever so delicately, her smacking your butt as you ran back onto the court, and of course, her transparent staring at your lips the entire time you were an inch apart from her.

"What are you looking at baby," Paige sleepily mumbled into your neck, tightening her grip around your waist to pull you further into her, slinging her right leg over your waist.

You put your phone down and turned in her hold, wrapping your arms around her body as you peered down at Paige's sleepy face, admiring how beautiful she always looked.

"Your fans are going crazy about how obviously down bad you are for me P," you teased, running your foot up and down her calf as Paige pressed her face into your chest to absorb your body heat.

"Let them, just go back to sleep with me for a little bit longer."

And of course, how could you ever say no when your girlfriend was asking you so sweetly?

a/n: thank you for reading all the way through, and i'm so sorry if the ending is kinda rushed, i just wanted to finally get another fic out 🤗

[hatakemrs]

I'm having his baby!!ft. Gojo Satoru

Characters: Gojo Satoru X reader Based on Taylor Swift's song "But Daddy I love him"

Warnings: Cuss words and a lil suggestive at the end.

More Gojo as Taylor Swift songs:

You Belong With Me Enchanted

"I'm having his baby.", You said it casually to the 3 teenagers standing before you.

There was a moment of silence before they all screeched in unison, " WHAT?!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN Y/N SENSEI?"

*YOU'RE PREGNANT?"

"YOU ARE HAVING GOJO-SENSEI'S CHILD?"

Yuji and Nobara bombarded you with questions while Megumi stood there, questioning his existence.

" That's kinda gross.", Yuji made a face then quickly corrected himself.

"I- I don't mean the baby, I- I- you know to know you and sensei did it-"

Nobara slapped Yuji on his head forcing him to stop.

You stood there holding your laugh while the students started to bicker among themselves. You were going to tell them It's a prank but then came your husband.

"Yoo what's going on?"Gojo waved his hand as he greeted his students.

" YOU." Nobara pointed at him accusingly.

"What? I didn't even do anything. Why are you guys looking at me like that?"

"You didn't tell us Y/n-sensei is pregnant.", Megumi pointed out.

" Y/N IS WHAT?"

"Oh shit he didn't know either.", The three of them thought.

Gojo now turned to face you, horror in his face

" Love why- why didn't you tell me? You- you told our students first but not me? Did I do something wrong?"

God you forgot how much of a dramatic person your husband is.

"Satoru, listen it's not like that.I just-", you were cut off by the second year students.

" Hey guys, what are you doing here?",Panda asked.

"Y/n sensei is pregnant and she didn't tell Gojo sensei-", Yuji received another hit from Nobara as he said this.

" WHAT?"

"TAKANA?"

"I think you guys should talk about this in private-", Maki stared at the two of you, throwing a disgusted look at Satoru.

"GUYS!" I'M NOT PREGNANT", You finally managed to speak over the commotion.

"HUH?

"I'm not pregnant. But you all should see your faces.", You let out a laugh after watching their confused expression.

" Why would you say that then?"Megumi asked.

"It was a prank, guys. I heard this lyric in a Taylor Swift song so I decided to prank you three. Didn't know it would lead to this. It was still funny though."

"You two are really made for each other.", Yuta said with a sigh.

"Tuna Mayo", Inumaki nodded his head.

Gojo was silent among all this. You could tell he was thinking of something.

After all the students went away, he hugged you from the back.

" You know I was so happy when I thought you were pregnant.", Gojo pouted.

"I'm sorry love, didn't think you would be a part of this joke too."

*You owe me an apology, you know right?", he whispered in your ear.

*Okkk and what do you want me to do?"

"Make your prank a reality."

You blushed hard understanding what he meant. "Satoru, we are at work now!Don't say things like that", you scolded him

He smirked, " You started this love, don't back out on me now."

"See you tonight", he winked as he left you standing there being a blushing mess.

A/n: Thank you for reading<3

[hugshughes]

betty C. Bedard

Connor Bedard x fem!reader

synopsis - senior year starts, and Connor tries to fix everything after you were left torn to shreds after rumors all summer spread through your small town that Connor had a fling with someone all summer. a fling that supposedly began not long after the messy and unclear "end" of your relationship with him.

wc - 5k

contains - based off of Betty so... <\3. but not that bad because it's less James (Connor) being a douche and more teenagers love to spread rumors and misinformation!!!! crying, sadness, anger, shouting :( but also!!!! touching, hugging, kissing, making out a little bit. reader is 17, and her birthday isn't exactly clear but it's in september. Connor is a jealous teenage boy, and reader is a jealous teenage girl <\3. OH also my high school was 4 periods with over 2000 students and home room was just first period??? i know others are obvi different but that's just what im going off of!

an - hai!!! me when i cut lyrics like this when they don't exactly match how im writing the fic >_< i missed u people. i'm very genuinely sorry i've been gone but i genuinely have had one of the best summers of my life. IM SORRY A CHORUS GOT CUT IT WAS GONNA MAKE THIS HAVE TOO MUCH FILLER OKAY I DID THIS FOR US.

-

betty, i won't make assumptions, about why you switched your homeroom. but, i think it's 'cause of me.

Second day of senior year, you prayed it would be better than the first.

Yesterday, August 27th, you'd walked into homeroom, and your heart had dropped. Connor sat at a table in the back, laughing at something with his friends. Your Connor. You couldn't even call him that anymore. He wasn't yours. Apparently, he was another girl's, now. A girl from your town's rival school, Augustine, or something.

You sat through first period financial literacy with a weight in your chest. You sat at the very front table with a few friends, trying to smile and converse with them. They could tell something was wrong, and when your teacher said Connor's name during attendance they'd realized what.

You went to second period, feeling a bit better. Then, during lunch, you sped to the guidance office, begging your counselor to change your schedule. She was skeptical, having a feeling it had to do with something social, which she didn't believe called for a change. But when she noticed the tears that welled up in your eyes, she just smiled and clicked her mouse a few times, handing you a brand new paper for the classes you'd start the next morning.

To say Connor Bedard noticed you when you came into homeroom yesterday was the understatement of the year. The boy's smile dropped, his eyes locked on your figure as you shrugged your backpack off, smiling at your friend you sat next to. Yes, this class would be his chance to reconnect with you, fix and explain everything.

He walked into day 2 with a plan, a plan to somehow talk to you in first. He sat in the same seat he had yesterday, talking with his friends while his eyes never left your chair. He waited, and waited, and waited for you to walk in. You never did, you were in another classroom, first period AP Spanish, laughing with your best friend as you did icebreakers.

When the bell rang, he stopped the girl you sat next to the day before, awkwardly calling her name. He asked her where you were, and your friend faked confusion while she fought off laughter.

"Oh, she had her schedule switched, she has like Spanish now I think."

He nodded, mumbling a thank you as he swiftly exited the classroom, his friends shouting at him from the doorway.

As the school day went on, your day got significantly better while Connor's did the opposite. He got in his car after the final bell had rung, sitting in silence for just a minute before his friends piled in. Of course they'd all lived in your neighborhood, it being the most common one for your high school.

betty, one time, i was ridin' on my skateboard. when i passed your house, it's like i couldn't breathe.

He dropped them off at their respective homes, turning down your street to exit the neighborhood. He slowed down as he passed your house, your car was already in the driveway, you must've just got home. Last year Connor drove you to and from school almost every day, he missed that.

You two had broken up, if you could even call it that, in late May. The two of you were arguing about something both of you would now call dumb and you'd stupidly blocked his number after an angry phone call. Connor took that as you ending it, you took it as you were sick of arguing and couldn't speak to him in the moment. You were an emotional wreck when Connor had started ignoring you, still believing it was just all stupid misplaced emotions that needed to be talked through. You let him give you the silent treatment, knowing you were both still very upset.

About two weeks later, still nothing was resolved. School had been over for about a week, but you were miserable. Everything went to shit when you were tapping through Snapchat stories one night. One of your mutuals from school had posted a photo of her and her boyfriend, Connor, and another girl sitting next to each other on a bed in the background. They weren't cuddling, but their thighs were touching while they both looked at something on Connor's phone so basically your life was ruined.

You had over a dozen girls send you the story, asking what the fuck had happened. You had to tell them and yourself that you were broken up.

you heard the rumors from inez, you can't believe a word she says most times. but this time it was true.

It was extremely embarrassing for you once people that you barely even knew were telling others your business.

Connor knew he was royally fucked whenever a random girl he knew you were friends with had come up to him at a party during the summer and asked him about Augustine.

"Is she your new girlfriend?"

"What? No. I don't have a girlfriend."

"That's not what she thinks."

He almost asked who, but he knew who she was talking about. You. Everything was you. He couldn't get you out of his mind no matter how hard he had tried.

the worst thing that i ever did, was what i did to you.

Augustine didn't mean anything to him. His friend had tried to set him up with her because of how sad he'd been. But, he didn't have eyes for anyone but you, so she was just a friend of his.

All summer, he'd tried to find ways that put you two in the same place at the same time. Your town's annual Fourth of July fireworks? You were at the beach with family. Your mutual friend's huge 17th birthday bash? You were at young life camp with friends. The one time it could've worked was when you hosted a party, it was an open invite, but of course, it was the weekend Connor had his biggest hockey camp of the summer. It's like the universe wanted him miserable.

but if i just showed up at your party, would you have me?

You tried to erase Connor from your mind, but it was too hard. Living in a town where everything reminded you of the blonde boy sucked. And even if you were gone, you couldn't get away from him online, either. He was the guy to be watching for next year's NHL Draft. He was amazing, but he was also a very young and socially dumb boy.

You and Connor had gotten together towards the end of freshman year. It'd been about a month since your two year anniversary when the whole miscommunication and breakup took place. He was your first boyfriend, and you were his first girlfriend. Everyone at school knew about you two, even the people who didn't know you at all. It wasn't because you two were grossly comfortable with PDA at 8 am on a Wednesday.

You two weren't at all comfortable with your relationship being too on display to anyone, but the small and subtle things that made people silently root for the two. People saw just how you looked at each other, and how your moods changed with and without each other. They watched you two together at every event. Saw you as the loudest girl in the student section at hockey games. It was just sweet.

would you want me?

Connor was fucked. Although he couldn't confirm it, he was convinced your disappearance from first period was due to his presence. You changed your schedule to get away from him, that's how much he'd hurt you.

would you tell me to go fuck myself?

He wondered what you'd do if he just showed up at your house, or came up and asked to talk to you at school. Would you tell him to fuck off? Would you agree to talk, and listen to his apologies?

or lead me to the garden? in the garden, would you trust me, if i told you it was just a summer fling?

Connor had to speak with you, he couldn't contain himself any longer. When the final bell rang he sat in his car and waited for his friends, driving them home, through your neighborhood once again. He passed your house, only your car was in the driveway. He parked on the street, closing his car door gently behind him as he trekked up your driveway and to the front door.

He knocked softly, stepping back a few feet to wait. After thirty seconds the door opened a third of the way, your body coming into view. You were already in comfy clothes, you hated when your outside clothes touched your bed, Connor remembered. Your eyes widened, your brain sending panic signals through your body, your limbs freezing up.

"Oh my God. Uh, hi?"

You had no clue why Connor would be standing awkwardly on your front porch at 2:38 pm on a Tuesday.

"Hey. You can tell me to fuck right off and I will but, can we like, talk?"

i'm only seventeen, i don't know anythin'. but, i know i miss you.

You blinked a few times, the words taking a moment to register. Connor wanted to talk to you? About what? Did he need real closure after all the dumb shit that happened between you?

"Oh, yeah, sure. Come in."

You led him to your room, you weren't sure why you didn't just go to the living room, silently cursing yourself halfway up the stairs. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Was it clean? Were there clothes on the floor? You were now mortified by the idea of Connor seeing a bra on your bedroom floor, something that wouldn't have crossed your mind five months ago.

Your room was fine, only some socks and a sweatshirt on the ground. You sat in the cushy chair in your corner, pulling your knees to your chest. Connor sat cautiously on the end of your bed, he was always the one person you'd let wear outside clothes on your bed because you didn't care as long as he was laying with you.

It was eerily silent for a few moments before Connor spoke up, your head snapping to him.

"Um, I've been wanting to talk for a really long time, seriously."

You nodded, your eyes leaving his, the air too tense.

"Me too."

Connor's eyes widened at that, seriously? You wanted to talk to him? That was what he'd been hoping for months.

"I can't really think of a better way to say this but, uh. I miss you, a fuckin' lot. And I know I royally fucked up but I really just want you in my life. I hate the tension and the fuckin' like, uncertainty between us."

What? You were so confused. He missed you? But you had people all damn summer nothing but happy to fill you in on all of the Connor and Augustine news. Connor took your silence as you expecting more from him, so he filled it.

"And I know that everything that happened was because I was being a jealous asshole. I'm really sorry and I will show you that."

betty, i know where it all went wrong. your favorite song was playing from, the far side of the gym.

Ah, yes, the fight that ruined it all. See, in May, Connor and the Regina Pats were fighting through the playoffs, and he had one of the biggest games of the season on the night of prom. It was your first prom, and you'd been so excited to go with your boyfriend, so you can imagine the disappointment when he told you he wasn't going to be able to make it. You were crushed, to say the least, and sulked the entire time.

i was nowhere to be found, i hate the crowds, you know that.

The only few minutes you had fun the whole night was when a group of your friends had gotten you to dance after hours of begging, and a photo was taken of you with an arm innocently and extremely appropriately around a guy friend of yours' shoulders. It was platonic, even another girl friend of yours was on the other side of him and had her arm over yours.

It was really not a big deal, but Connor had seen it and was extremely jealous, and felt guilty. He was envious but also beating himself up over not being there.

plus, i saw you dance with him.

"Connor, that wasn't all your fault. I was a crazy bitch and blocked you, even if it was for like forty minutes. I shouldn't have done that, it was stupid. All of it."

He nodded, both of you unsure of what to say next.

you heard the rumors from inez. you can't believe a word she says, most times. but this time, it was true.

"And, I don't know if you care or not. But, I know all sorts of people have been saying stuff about me and Augustine. I promise you that I hung out with her that one time with Adam and hated it. I told her that and we were just kind of friends I guess. I only saw her one other time all summer. I wasn't already moving on from you, 'm still not."

He'd be the death of you, you were sure of it. Did he know how badly you needed to hear that? Even if you were skeptical if it was true when it first came from his mouth, the moment of silent eye contact between you two spoke volumes. He wouldn't lie to you, he was the most honest person you ever knew.

"I think it's stupid for us not to be friends, Connor. We were best friends before and while we dated. I miss that with you."

the worst thing that i ever did, was what i did to you.

You also missed kissing him, and cuddling, and whispering sweet nothings, and holding hands under the table at dinner.

You might as well have dangled Connor's heart on a string in front of him then decided to stomp on it. Friends. That would have to be how it was, he knew he couldn't have none of you, and some of you would always be better than none of you.

"That'd be really good."

You both smiled, although in your minds you both wanted more, you were too scared to say it. You stood up, Connor right after. You just looked at him close up for the first time in a while and sighed happily. You hugged him without caution, arms around his waist and face in his chest. His came around your shoulders, squeezing tightly if only for a few seconds before you let go of what had to be a friendly hug.

You both walked downstairs, Connor opening the front door and stepping onto your porch.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Connie."

"Yeah, okay."

You shut the door with a smile, immediately freaking out as Connor did the same on the other side. You had no desire to be only friends with Connor, but it was the safest route to having him in your life without getting hurt.

i was walkin' home on broken cobblestones.

Connor sat in his car, staring through the windshield. A thousand thoughts raced through his mind. He finally had his favorite girl back in his life, but not the way he wanted. That would have to be enough though, some of you would always be better than none of you.

He snapped back into it when he realized he'd been parked outside your house for multiple minutes and drove off. He went home and then later to hockey practice, and you never left his mind.

just thinkin' of you when she pulled up, like a figment of my worst intentions.

The next day at school you smiled at Connor in the hallway. He was teased for the rest of the day by his friends at the blush he possessed after it happened.

For the next month or so, you two danced around each other. You talked often and hung out together in group settings. At school, you'd talk and laugh, all of your friends demanding they could tell you were still in love. The both of you would insist that you were now just friends and happy about it, even though both of you were yearning to be so much more than that.

she said, "james get in, let's drive." those days turned into nights. slept next to her,

Your birthday was approaching, your 18th. You insisted you wanted something small, a dinner party with your favorite people. You'd invited over a dozen of your friends, receiving RSVPs of yes from all of them. There was still one more blonde boy you wanted to ask, though.

When the final bell rang, you ran out of school like every other teen with a car. Instead of going to yours, you found yourself walking up to Connor's black jeep, one you were oh so familiar with. He was on his phone but noticed you immediately as you were walking up.

He rolled his window down, a grin gracing his face.

"Hey, what's up?"

You lent your elbow against the window sill, resting your cheek against your hand.

"So, my birthday's on Saturday, and I'd really like if you came. It's just a small dinner party at my house, nothing crazy. You might be the only guy attending but I'd love if you could make it. I totally get if you can't though, it's a bit short notice."

Connor's eyebrows raised in shock. You wanted him at your birthday? This felt more intimate between the two of you than any other moment in the past couple weeks. Connor wasn't gonna let you down like he had at prom.

"I'll be there. Can't wait."

Connor wished he didn't love how your eyes instantly brightened, the corners crinkling to match the grin on your face.

"Great, awesome. I'll see you there Connie."

You brushed your hand over his shoulder as you said bye and turned to trek to your parking spot.

"Yeah, bye. I lo-"

I love you. Connor cut himself off before he could say he loved you. Holy shit, why did he almost say he loved you? He prayed you couldn't hear it, the way you kept walking didn't make it look like you did, but he couldn't see your face.

Your jaw dropped, hearing the first two syllables out of his mouth before he caught himself. Oh my God, Connor almost just told you he loved you. You kept on to your car, waiting until you were alone to freak out. Of course, you'd said it all the time while dating, but he hadn't told you that in months, you assumed he didn't feel that way about you anymore.

Connor had told you he couldn't wait for your party, and it was the truth. He had never been a patient boy, and waiting to see you all day on Saturday had him fidgety. He was wearing jeans and a navy Ralph Lauren quarter-zip, a white t-shirt peeking out from the unzipped section. He was wearing his cleanest sneakers and held a small gift bag in one hand, flowers in the other.

betty, i'm here on your doorstep. and, I planned it out for weeks.

He knocked on your door at 7:02, having been sitting in his car outside your house since 6:57, telling himself he could do this. You opened the door quickly, a gorgeous smile on your face. Your eyes widened when you saw what was in Connor's hands, wrapping your arms around his neck in what was too close to be a friendly hug. He wrapped his arms around you, careful to not dishevel the flowers.

"Hey, Connor. Thanks for coming."

"Wouldn't miss it. Happy birthday."

You pulled away after what felt like not long enough, leading Connor inside. He handed you the flowers, a moment of tension between you. Your mother greeted him, hugging him and taking the flowers from you to put in a vase.

Connor was first to arrive, followed shortly by your best friend, who silently made fun of you for how flustered you were. Everyone was in your house by 7:18, and you talked and mingled until around 8 when you decided it was time to eat. You sat next to Connor at your big dining table, earning a few teasing looks from your girl friends.

Dinner lasted a while, everyone talking and laughing. A little over an hour passed by before your mom came through the entrance of the room, holding a stand with a cake, 18 golden candles stuck in the pink and white frosting. Everyone sang as you awkwardly laughed. You closed your eyes and wished for Connor, he was all you could think of. You blew your candles out and everyone cheered, clapping and laughing.

You hung out for a while with everyone, another hour and a half passing before people's curfews started falling. Of course, Connor was the last person there, he'd always been the last one there when everyone else had gone.

but, it's finally sinkin' in.

You two sat on the couch, still awfully close even though everyone else was gone.

"You gonna open your gifts?"

You turned and looked at the small pile of boxes and bags, shrugging.

"My mom always said it was rude to open gifts in front of my guests."

"Am I just a guest to you?"

You laughed, shaking your head. You stood and grabbed all the gifts, laying them on your coffee table before you began opening things. Every gift was thoughtful and sweet, you left things in specific piles so you knew what to thank people for later. Connor's gift was last, and his stomach twisted when you grabbed the bag.

betty, right now is the last time, i can dream about what happens when, you see my face again.

Shit, this was when he was gonna tell you everything. You pulled at the neatly placed tissue paper, you could tell Mrs. Bedard had helped Connor out. The first piece came out and you saw the envelope sitting on the side of the bag. You grabbed it and Connor gently grabbed your wrist.

the only thing i wanna do,

"Can you read it after? I wanna see your reaction before."

"Okay."

Your eyebrows scrunched, but you didn't think too much of it. You pulled out the next piece of tissue paper and your jaw dropped. A small teal box sat wrapped in a bow. The color was unmistakable, the bow too. You looked up at Connor with wide eyes, already feeling tears prick your waterline.

"Connor you didn't."

is make it up to you.

"You don't even know what I did. Look at it."

You grabbed the box, pulling it out and gently untying the bow. You slip the lid off the box, your assumption proved correct, a beautiful white gold necklace lying pretty and perfect in the box. Two heart-shaped white gold pendants hung down, shiny and polished to perfection. Your eyes watered, no one had ever done something so kind for you.

"Connor, I can't even accept this. 'S too much."

"Well I'm not gonna wear it, and I'm not returning it either."

You lightly examined the necklace, light reflecting on the second heart causing something to catch your eye. You held the box closer to your face, squinting for just a second before your eyes widened. There was a small 98 engraved in the heart, your jaw dropping slightly.

so i showed up at your party. yeah, i showed up at your party.

"I've had it since June. I'd tried to order it for our two years but it took forever to ship."

You couldn't help but set the small box down and throw your arms around Connor, a huff of surprise leaving him at the impact. His arms wrapped around you, squeezing tightly.

"I love it, I love you."

You took a leap of faith as you pulled back just slightly and kissed your ex-boyfriend. His arms around you tightened, kissing back immediately. Your hands held his face as you kissed fervently. You were practically pulled into Connor's lap by the time you pulled away to catch your breath, chest heaving as you stared at each other. Connor grinned, extremely happy his girl was back in his arms.

yeah, i showed up at your party.

"I love you."

You giggled and leaned your forehead against his shoulder, still taking in what had just happened.

"Missed you so much."

You turned your head and left a kiss on his neck in response, your boy was back in your arms.

"Missed you more. You don't even know."

"I do know, all summer fuckin' sucked."

"Yeah! And your ass had dating rumors two weeks after we 'broke up'!"

"The key word there is rumors."

You both laughed, Connor kissing you again. You both smiled and giggled into the kiss, tingles running through your bodies.

"Hey, sweetheart! Did everyone leave?"

Your mom had gone upstairs to bed after cake, you thought she'd be asleep by now. You shushed Connor's giggling, pushing yourself off his lap and pulling him up with you.

will you have me?

"Almost mom! Connor's still here, he's leaving soon!"

"Alright, well goodnight you two!"

You both called goodnight to her, turning and smiling at each other.

"I guess that was you demanding I leave."

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down and pecking him a few times.

"Shut up! If I had only said that you were still here she'd probably be down here in her pajamas making sure we aren't getting at it on my couch."

Connor just laughed, kissing you again. You two sat back down and just sat together for a while. You both had missed just existing together so much. It was nearing midnight when Connor told you he had to go.

"I have practice at like 6 tomorrow."

"Connor! You're only gonna get like five hours of sleep. Go home."

He stood up, pulling you with him. You walked him out, very quietly opening the front door. Connor's arms wrapped around you again as you stood on the front porch of your home. You laid your head in the curve of his neck with your arms wrapped around his shoulders. You stood in silence for a few moments, before you interrupted the quiet.

"You know what I wished for?"

"No. What'd you wish for?"

"You."

will you kiss me on the porch, in front of all your stupid friends?

He grinned, kissing you sweetly. He held your face as your hands gripped at his quarter-zip. After a few moments, you pulled away, giggly and drunk in love. You didn't know but your Ring Doorbell was catching the whole thing on camera.

You two stood on your porch talking until ten after midnight when you cursed at yourself and insisted Connor needed to go get some rest.

"Walk me to my car?"

"Fine, princess."

if you kiss me, will it be just like i dreamed it?

He failed to fight his laughter as he told you to shut up. You held hands as you walked down your driveway, Connor's jeep parked on the side of the road.

Connor leaned you back against the driver's door and kissed you real good. You almost forgot it was nearing 12:20 am and you were in the middle of your street making out with your technically still ex-boyfriend.

will it patch your broken wings? i'm only seventeen, i don't know anything. but i know i miss you.

You snapped back to reality and pulled away from Connor.

"You need to stop kissing me while I'm trying to get you to go home."

He climbed into his jeep, rolling down the window and leaning his arms against the window frame. As much as you wanted him to go home and get some sleep, you also loved and missed him too much to give up this moment.

"You love it, though."

standin' in your cardigan.

You rolled your eyes and sighed playfully, tilting your head and giving him a smile.

"Might be a crazy question but are we together now?"

"We were never broken up in my mind."

"Cut the poetic shit Bedard. Am I your girlfriend or not?"

He laughed, that was his girl.

"You wanna be?"

You gave him a legitimate eye roll that time, he just laughed again.

"Yes, you're my girlfriend and I'm your boyfriend."

"Perfect, awesome. Have an amazing night. I will text you tomorrow morning whenever I wake up. Which is not gonna be around 5:30 like you."

He groaned thinking of morning practice but was back to smiling at you in less than a moment. You leaned forward, kissing him one more time.

kissin' in my car again. stopped at a streetlight.

You pulled back with a sleepy smile, your whole heart content.

"I love you, Connor."

"I love you."

“Drive safe.”

Connor watched you all the way up the driveway and into your house, waiting a few extra seconds for you to lock the door before he sped home.

Once you closed and locked the door, you were smiling and giggling to yourself. You put on your new necklace and cleaned up from your party.

The two of you slept soundly, you knowing you finally had your person back, and wouldn't lose him again anytime soon. Connor would've been okay with 20 minutes of sleep if that's how long you kept him. His girl was finally his again, and he wasn't going to lose her again.

[miley1442111]

fresh out the slammer- a.hotchner

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: yes, i am a swifty- sorry lmao.

intended for fem reader!

summary: based off of fresh out the slammer by taylor swift

pairings: aaron hotchner x reader

warnings: sad ending, talk of falling out of love, aaron is still in love with Haley

the tortured poets department masterlist

Now pretty baby, I'm running back home to you

Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to

Fresh out the slammer, oh

Aaron unlocked the door to your shared home, one thought on his mind. Haley. 

He missed her more than life itself. He missed being a family with Jack and her. He missed it all. 

You were his girlfriend, you should’ve been on his mind. You had been there for him during his recent recovery after the stabbings with Foyet, you were working at all hours to try and find Foyet, you were always there for him. He loved you, truly. 

But you weren't Haley. 

Another summer takin' cover, rolling thunder

He don't understand me

Splintered back in winter, silent dinners, bitter

He was with her in dreams

He lay beside you in your bed. You were already asleep, soft snores falling from your beautiful lips. A certain unease settled into Aaron’s body. He realised something slowly, and it led to a heavy sense of dread, shame, regret, and guilt. 

He didn’t love you. He was still in love with Haley. 

He thought of Haley everyday, every night. He wondered what she was doing, now that he didn’t know where she or Jack was.

Sleep evaded him that night. 

Gray and blue and fights and tunnels

Handcuffed to the spell I was under

For just one hour of sunshine

Years of labor, locks, and ceilings

In the shade of how he was feeling

But it's gonna be alright, I did my time

Weeks passed and Aaron became more and more distant. He cancelled dates, came home late, he was reckless at work. 

You felt hopeless. You knew something was wrong, but you couldn’t figure out what. You decided to confront him, staying up late enough to catch him. 

“Aaron, what’s going on?” You asked as he walked into your shared bedroom. He stared at you for a moment, then sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Nothing,” he lied.

“Aaron, I’m a profiler too. Tell me.”

He felt conflicted. He liked you, a lot. He’d been dating you for a year. He’d thought he was over Haley, he was wrong. “I’m not in love with you anymore, I’m not sure I ever was.”

Your heart broke, but you swallowed it back. “Ok,” you whispered and got up, grabbing your go-bag and walking out. Aaron didn’t chase you. He didn’t want to. 

You got into your car and let yourself break down. He never loved you. He was still in love with Haley. You were just a placeholder for her. 

You went to Penelope’s place, knowing she’d be there for you. She let you in immediately and comforted you to sleep.

Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you

Frеsh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to

(Frеsh out the slammer, oh)

Haley was dead. You felt devastated for Aaron and Jack, not enough to speak to him though. You attended the funeral, you stood beside the rest of the team, then went straight to Strauss. You handed in you badge and gun, leaving the BAU behind. You cut everyone off, blocking their numbers, moving house, taking up a job in the CIA instead. 

Aaron had officially lost you. In the weeks of your breakup, he’d realised how wrong he was, that he had loved you, that he was in love with you. 

Camera flashes, welcome bashes, get the matches

Toss the ashes off the ledge

As I said in my letters, now that I know better

I will never lose my baby again

He spent weeks trying to find you, finding nothing. You’d asked one of your new colleagues to essentially wipe your existence off the face of the earth. You changed your name, you changed. 

He’d made Penelope look for you for months, he went to your family as a last result. 

“You want to know where Y/n is?” Your father asked. “We thought you’d know.”

His heart stopped. You were missing. 

He got the team on it immediately, until Strauss called him in. 

“Aaron, Y/n Y/l/n is not missing. She’s been reassigned,” she explained.

“Why can’t we find her then! All of her accounts were drained and closed, her family don’t know where she is, and she left the BAU!” He demanded. 

“She was reassigned Aaron, that’s the end of it.”

He was helpless. You were gone. 

My friends tried, but I wouldn't hear it

Watch me daily disappearing

For just one glimpse of his smile

All those nights, he kept me goin'

Swirled you into all of my poems

Now we're at the starting line, I did my time

He took a leave of absence from the BAU for a month, deciding to try and find you on his own. He looked through everything on you, tried to remember details you’d told him, but he came up with nothing. 

Until he saw you on a case. 

Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin'

To the house where you still wait up and that porch light gleams (Gleams)

To the one who says I'm the girl of his American dreams

And no matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway

Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up now that I know what's at stake here

At the park where we used to sit on children's swings

Wearing imaginary rings

You were a CIA agent, you were happy the way you were. You’d found a husband in the 2 years since you’d left the BAU. He loved you and adored you like you were supposed to be adored. He was a childhood best friend, one you’d had a crush on as a child. Aaron walked into the CIA building and saw you with your hand in his. His world crumbled for the third time in his life. 

You had found someone else. You shot him and the entire team a small, knowing smile, and assisted them on their case.  

“We thought you’d died,” Derek admitted as you were all cleaning up the conference room they were using as an office. 

“Well technically Y/n died, I’m Y/n/n now. Y/n/n Scott,” You smiled, showing off your wedding ring and smiling at your husband, the other CIA agent that was helping with the investigation. Aaron’s stomach turned. At least you were happy. 

But it's gonna be alright, I did my time

[bingbongsupremacy]

Closure Pt. 2

Pairing: Steve Harrington x plus size!reader

Warnings: swearing, anger, idk what else

Series Summary: You never knew Steve could be so shallow. When he leaves you to date Nancy Wheeler, you're left with a pain you thought he'd never leave with you. Maybe you should've stayed friends.

Part Summary: He wrote a letter. You don't need him. Right?

*Not Proof Read* Stranger Things Masterlist

Based off of Taylor Swift Song Closure. This was a request. I tried to make everything as general as possible. Pls let me know if missed something ty.

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

*****

No one was supposed to know we were dating. Steve said he didn’t want his teammates to bug me. He didn’t want people to overreact when they found out about us and say mean shit. At the time, I agreed. I mean, Steve’s the king of Hawkins high. I wouldn’t be the first girl he’s dated who’s had rumors spread about them. 

Hiding us was harder than we thought. A month or so after we got together Tommy found out and told the whole team. Gradually the whole school found out. Gossip spreads like wildfire, especially in a town like Hawkins. 

During the weeks after we broke up, I started to think about our secret relationship.

He wasn’t trying to protect me. He was trying to protect his reputation. Steve might not show it but deep down he’s just like everyone else. He’s got insecurities too. He obsesses over anything negative that’s said about him, analyzing everything that others think is imperfect about him until he finds a way to change it.

That’s something I noticed sophomore year when we started to get a little closer.

He was kind to me, but he wasn’t perfect. I don’t know for sure but I think he still messed with underclassmen, bullying them for praise from Tommy and Carol. He wanted to be liked by everyone, especially those two assholes.

He was always going to pick them over me. 

“ Honey, this came in for you today. “ My mom breaks me out of my thoughts. 

I look up from my stack of paperwork. “ What? From who? “ My brows furrow in confusion. Who would send mail to my parents’ house? I haven’t lived here in years. 

“ It’s from Steve. “ My moms eyes scan over the stark white envelope. 

My heart sinks. 

What the fuck does he want? 

I haven’t seen or talked to him since graduation 7 years ago. What could he want with me? Last I heard he got a job at Family Video and Nancy broke up with him. 

He knows I’m here. He has to. Fucking Hawkins. When one person knows everyone knows. Mrs. Henderson must’ve told someone when I ran into her at the gas station. 

“ What ever happened to you and Steve? Do you both still talk? “ My mom asks curiously while handing over my mail. 

Oh right. I never told her. 

“ We fell out of touch. You know, life. " I shrug, hoping that's enough for her.

" Oh, that's so sad sweetie. I'm sorry. " She sends me a small sympathetic smile. " That's always hard when you lose touch with someone you love. " She gently pats my shoulder.

Love.

Steve didn't love me.

I send her a small smile, hoping to drop the topic. " It happens, ma. "

" Well, I'll you get to it. " She dismisses herself, leaving me to the letter in my hands.

I trace the sharp corners of the envelope. Should I open it? Do I want to?

I wonder what it says.

What could he have to say to me after all of these years? It couldn't be something worth my time. Not after the shit that happened in high school. Right?

But what if it is?

Fuck it. I'm curious.

I pull open the envelope and let the torn paper fall into my lap. A neatly folded letter greens me, the bright white stationary paper matching the envelope.

This is it. Here we go.

I pull open the letter. Dark blue pen lines starkly contrast the white paper. Steve's familiar handwriting fills a good portion of the page. At the bottom his squiggly signature lies, bold and exactly the same as I remember.

Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you. I heard you're back in town. I've been meaning to do this for a long time. I've debated writing to you for years. I didn't know if I had anything good enough to send to you.

I was an asshole to you. You didn't deserve how I broke up with you. I feel horrible about how I treated you. About how I let other people change my opinion and control my actions. I should've stood stronger with what I thought.

That's something I always loved about you. You didn't let other people sway your opinions. I'm sure you still don't. You thought for yourself.

You are so much braver than I am. You didn't compromise yourself for others.

I've thought about what happened for years. About how you must have felt.

I hope you're well. I hope you've been able to move on and you've continued to be yourself. I know I don't deserve to say that, I just wish you the best.

I wanted to explain to you why I did what I did. I owe it to you. I was selfish. I got caught up in the high school popularity shit. I know it's stupid. I wanted to be Hawkins High's main guy. I wanted the Prom King title. I wanted the attention.

I really did like you. You made me feel safe and understood. You were always patient and kind. You urged me to be me, even when I felt like caving under pressure. You liked me for me, not for who I was trying to be. You deserved better than me.

People started to talk. You know. You heard the rumors.

At first, I thought I could handle it. I thought it wouldn't bug me. I thought I could push past it all. I cracked. Tommy and Carol jumped on the wagon and it pushed me over the edge. I couldn't bare the thought of losing the respect I'd worked so hard to get. I couldn't handle the teasing I'd get from the guys after games or the looks Tommy'd send my way when he saw us together.

It was wrong. I didn't think about you. About how you must've felt and how you were handling everything that was going on. It was Senior Year. I should've held on. We would've been out of this shit hole in a few months anyway, I don't know why I didn't just ignore it all. That's one of my biggest regrets.

I've been in therapy for a few years now. I've worked past all that surface-level shallow shit. I really see just how much I hurt you, and for that I'm so sorry.

I don't expect you to forgive me. I just wanted you to know that you're the first girl I ever loved and I am so grateful for you. Our relationship sent me on a path to help myself, and for that I will always love you.

Thank you.

-Steve Harrington

P.S. The week before we broke up I was going to give this to you. I never did.

I glance down at the envelope in my lap and open it. At the bottom lays a shiny silver necklace. A small gem, my birthstone, lays in the center. It glimmers in the light. It's beautiful.

I turn the gem over and spot a small engraving on the back.

SH +Y/N

For a moment I'm torn.

Should I write him back? Should we talk?

Part of me does miss him. I miss his laugh. His playful teasing. The way he looked at me.

No.

He hurt me. A lot.

He can't just send a letter and make it better. Why didn't he talk to me in person if this really weighed on him as much as he says it did? Why didn't he call me?

I don't need him. I'm fine. I've been fine without him for years. I'm not going to let him back into my life because he feels bad about his actions and insecurities.

I left Hawkins for a reason. I needed to get away from Steve. I needed him out of my life.

I'm not going to let him back in for his sake.

I don't need him.

I stand up, taking the papers and necklace in my hand. I walk over to the trashcan near my dresser. Without a second thought, I drop everything into the can.

The necklace makes a small clunking sound as it hits the bottom of my empty can.

The rustling of papers quiets and so does my pounding heart.

I'm fine on my own.

(Do we like this ending? Or should I try to make another part? )

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @queen-apple24

[fleursbending]

𝐀𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓, 𝐈'𝐌 𝐓𝐑𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆. 

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : sully!family x daughter!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : you try to prove to your family the endurance you behold. but your trials and tribulations get the best of you.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : requested, yes | no. based on a few chosen lyrics from the song this is me trying by taylor swift. not proofread sorry!

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : angst no comfort, dialogue-heavy, character death oops, deviates from the original atwow movie plot!

𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐲 : - ‘eveng - child // tsmuke - sister // iknimaya - rite of passage // muntxate - wife // ngaytxoa - i'm sorry // 'ite - daughter // sa'nok - mother // olo’eyktan - clan leader // tsamsiyu - warrior // 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 2k words.

I've been having a hard time adjusting.

Life in the Hallelujah Mountains was a direct juxtaposition from whence you came. The ruggedness of the rocks, the sound of your feet making contact with the stones beneath you. There wasn't any shrubbery to whack out of your face. Instead, it was squeezing around the commune of people and narrowly avoiding knocking into tents.

You missed the plushness of the earth that would encompass you, guiding you to another adventure. Instead of your feet aching at the impact, they'd sink into the soil. When you'd inhale, the oxygen granted you serenity.

Up here the air was a little thinner, not enough to affect your oxygen on a larger scale - but it didn't pass you. Nothing did.

You made sure your father knew of such grievances.

I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting.

A prodigy had been birthed within you the moment your soul graced the world. The people were more than hyperaware of it. Especially Mo'at who looked like she'd seen Eywa herself as Neytiri cradled you for the first time in her arms.

That was before. When wielding a bow and arrow came easy to you, when you'd been the youngest to have a successful hunt, when you'd come back from a fishing trip with your dad with enough to feed the whole clan.

After coming in the form of your brother who was proving to be someone who looked and felt like he was more deserving of the role of Olo'eyktan one day.

The berries on top came in the form of leaving the communities rendition of Home Tree up to the mountains where the Sky People could no longer target them.

She'd never felt this weathered down, this loneliness ebbing away at all her wasted potential. The regrets anchor themselves then, a stark reminder that this war was brooding and vicious. At a young age, she must force herself to become capable.

I didn't know if you'd care if I came back.

When the day came for you to prove just that, you did so within a blink of an eye. You didn't know the consequences that would come for doing so, all that was drilled in your mind was "my family."

So when your mother's arrows came flying in the dark of the night to try to save you from your kidnappers. The rain casts itself over and your little sister Tuk is getting choked out by one of the soldiers. This was your time to truly try.

I have a lot of regrets about that.

You barreled in, ripping the soldier's hands from your sister's neck, and pushing her behind you.

"Go tuk, run!" Urgency is crystal in your voice, and Lo'ak can only give you a quick glance of fear before grabbing your sister in haste.

He was waiting for you.

"No, Lo'ak - go! I'll follow after you, okay?" You grunt, trying to battle this soldier off.

He soundlessly nods, gulping and blinking the tears that prickle at his eyes before disappearing into the foliage and eclipse of the night.

If only her stubborn self just kneed the soldier in the groin and left with them.

Could've followed my fears all the way down.

The trepidation began to bubble in the pit of her belly, and it sunk deeper and deeper the more the soldier overpowered her.

A wrangled cry escapes her throat as a very distinct "pop" echoes through the brewing chaos. He'd dislocated her shoulder. She didn't have time to dwell on it though, her uninjured arm reaching for the knife and unsheathing it from the soldier's grasp.

Everything slows down then.

Somehow she's being pushed onto the floor, and the knife that was once pressed to her perpetrator's neck was now inching into her stomach.

Oh, she's hurt. Blood pooled in her mouth then, the man letting out a menacing laugh - gun in hand and about to land a bullet to her head when an arrow shot into his instead.

And maybe I don't quite know what to say.

"My dear 'eveng, no!" She hovers over you in worry, looking around before muttering apologies. The knife was still lodged in your gut as she tried her best to lift you up and carry you to safety.

Your hand gripping the handle of the knife weakens, slipping in and out of consciousness as your mother tries her best to find the others.

"Ngaytxoa, sa'nok." You rasp out, chest shuddering at the sheer effort such a minor action took.

She hushed you, worries growing at how pale you'd already gotten as she enters a clearing.

"Muntxate?" A hushed whisper comes from in front of you.

It makes your mother jump in fright, jostling you a little making you let out something akin to a wail.

"Ma Jake, help her! I do not know what to do!" Your mother sobs in defeat, crouching to gently lay you down on the soft patch of grass beneath you.

"D-dad..." You grunted as his hand pressed on your dislocated shoulder.

I just wanted you to know, that this is me trying.

"Ma 'ite, what happened?" Your sempul's eyes glaze over in worry taking in your form. He did not know anatomy well, but the placement of where you'd been stabbed would have definitely gotten some of your organs.

"I had to save her dad, I had to save Tuk" She mumbled, eyes lost and looking at the night sky peering at her through the branches of trees.

"Tsmuke!" Tuk whines out, kneeling by your head at the mention of her name. She'd forever be in debt to you, and while she was young - her heart knew what was coming.

Lo'ak, Neteyam, and Kiri, follow her movements. All of them settled by you, not knowing what on earth to do but be there for their sibling.

Jake gave them all a look then, a twisted confirmation - an ending to your chapter. This wound was lethal, and you were suffering.

They told me all of my cages were mental.

Neytiri and Jake had never felt such utter distraught until today's events. Sure their kids were mischievous, always finding themselves up to no good. But they thought they had this handled, each battle they've gone into - they've lost some...not all.

Yet this felt too cruel, too world-altering and crumbling. Their child, is so frail and withering.

You and Neteyam were their mighty tsamsiyu's. Never did they want to have to see you go like this. Not when you had so much ahead yet to experience and live through.

They knew you were going through your own external crisis, and now more than ever - your parents wished they'd been more of a lending hand.

So caught up in raids, so caught up in making a stand - protecting their people. That their daughter had swept herself under a mat right before their eyes.

Her cages were going to finally win today, how ironic.

I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere.

As the eldest Sully daughter, you were more than self-aware of the baggage that came with who you'd become. The mantle to live upon and make yourself a dazzling star to gain the approval of your people.

You won over the people, and their hearts and souls. Strong in their eyes, almost the exact replica of Neytiri.

A healer apprentice under Mo'at, yet still going hunting with your father and brothers. There was a balance you'd manage to create that aided in you spreading out all the help and effort you could give.

But spreading yourself out so thinly can only last for so long.

Fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here.

Even if you were the eldest though, you knew Neteyam was the one to become Olo'eyktan. It was what your Tsahik wanted, after all, Eywa had spoken it to her after Neteyam successfully finished his Iknimaya.

The tasks that filled up every inch of your day began to dwindle, and the people's hearts swayed to another. Your own brother, yet you didn't blame him for it.

For now, he to had to bare the weight that comes with a treacherous amount of responsibilities. The weight that comes with being named the future Olo'ekytan of your clan.

Therefore your uselessness began to amount...to nothing. Your father began to pour his efforts and lessons into Neteyam, who before used to just be a bystander - it was his turn to be molded.

Sure, you still were a daughter of the infamous yet famous Sully's, but the desire to be more than that no longer was set aflame.

Pouring out my heart to a stranger.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, - I just wanted to live up to you both. I wanted to be better, I just wanted to protect our family." She whispered, voice growing fainter as time ticked by.

"That's not on you to do!" Jake wept then, infuriated at the circumstances. It should have been him who suffered at the hands of the sky people, it was him they wanted anyway.

"At that moment - it felt like it, sempul." She insisted, her weak hand grasping his own that hovered over the knife still embedded in her.

"Leave it, I'm going to be okay. You're going to be okay."

A sharp gasp leaves his lips, before forcing them closed. His head shakes, shoulders quaking as he tries to muffle his cries.

Neytiri lets her hand rest on his shuddering shoulder as she leans down to press a feather-like kiss yet filled with so much purpose to your forehead.

She tries to explain.

"What your sempul is trying to say, is that it should be us who had been there. Not hiding in the dark, by your side."

At least, I'm trying.

A broken scoff escaped you then, "Can you just say thank you? I'm trying, I tried. I just wanted to show you guys I still had it in me. I wanted to save my little sister. I wanted to be of use, I wanted to help."

Neytiri doesn't care for the tears that cascade down her face, instead thumbing her daughter's ones away instead.

"I knew you always had it in you, baby girl. I'm sorry if it seemed like I ever stopped. I'm so sorry." Jake's voice wavers, cracks, a tear of his dropping onto your cheek - masked by your own that moves like a silent ship.

He was determined then, your efforts would not go down in vain.

And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound.

A smile graced her face then, one of acceptance. The clock was going to halt soon and she hopes that her intentions did not come off as something vengeful and selfish. But from a place of genuine protection and vigilance.

One fleeting look at them gave her great comfort though, they knew.

She etched the faces of her family into her heart then, even if they looked like they were in as much pain as you currently were. You wanted them to be the last thing you'd see.

The pain numbed then, the cries of anguish from the people that love her the most in this unsure world - muted.

The one thing that never faltered was the tight grasp of your father's hand that held onto your own, a gentle reminder that he was there as his thumb rubbed a soothing motion on the back of your hand.

Right by her your mother caressed your hair, occasionally leaning down to press another kiss to your head. Her cries oddly quieting, instead, revenge began to paint scenarios in her mind. All while she reminisced of everything you had been and what you were becoming.

"We're here, Tsmuke." Neteyam whispered, Kiri and Lo'ak chime in with a wavering hum of unfortunate understanding.

Hidden between the lines of such a simple statement, it's alright - you can let go and rest now.

Her heart stills then.

I just wanted you to know, that this is me trying.

𝒇𝒍𝒆𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 ━━━ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

⤷ feedback and reblogs are always much appreciated ! feel free to ask through my inbox if you would like to join my taglist. ♡

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 : @pandorainmymind @eywas-heir @spicycloudsalad @missdreamofendless @prty-poisxn @scarlettwitch-4 @23victoria @avidreader3107 @theycallmesia @mazemymirror @tsireyasgf @nijirozzz @useryourbut @yua-himari @sweetheartlizzie07 @grierpilots @reneehillary69 @fruitsalad1 @forasgaard @iwaslikeblah @dumb-fawkin-bitch @theicemav @narutoboi @hai-kbai @goosemothersblog @audigay @cyberfreaky @worldofmunson @ihonestlydontknowwhattonamethis @wwwellacom @starl1g4t

[hermslore]

Pretty Girl [2] | Reneé Rapp x Reader

You're straight but you're in love with a girl. Is that a thing? Warning : Exploring your sexuality, light angst, fluff, happy ending [Based on How You Get The Girl by Taylor Swift] Part 1

Keep on pretending, what does that mean? You were up late that night, you couldn't get sleep as your mind kept wondering back to Reneé's words. You guys were just fooling around, you were straight, what was happening? A part of you couldn't help but think about how much you enjoyed being with Reneé, Your boyfriend, Chris, could never make you feel the way Reneé did, she made you so happy, free, and at ease.

You sighed, getting up and washing your face, realizing you probably aren't going to get any sleep now anyway. You opened up your laptop, going on google. You had to find something out. Am I gay, BuzzFeed quiz. Taking a deep breath, you took the quiz, flipping through the questions, answering them sincerely. A part of you wondered what your sexuality was, you could be bisexual, but then again, did you ever love Chris or any other boy for that fact? You attempted the last question, sighing, and took a look at the results.

You are a lesbian!

You stared at those words, refreshing the page again and again, it couldn't be right. You couldn't be a lesbian, you didn't like girls, hell you couldn't not like boys, could you? It was just a quiz, it couldn't decide what your sexuality was, it was stupid and you shouldn't have done it. Regardless, you kept the laptop down, pulling the covers over you, shutting your eyes. Your thoughts kept going back to Reneé's words, and the quiz's results. Next night, you weren't able to sleep again. You couldn't stop thinking about Reneé. Maybe the quiz was right, maybe you were a lesbian. You had broken up with Chris earlier, figuring you didn't feel anything for him at all after Reneé had entered your life. Getting up, you glanced at your phone, 12am. It wasn't that late, and you couldn't wait. You quickly changed clothes, grabbing your phone and keys. You were going to Reneé's house. You didn't care how late it was, you were going to get your girl. It was raining heavily by the time you reached, but you knocked on her door, and shot her a text saying "I'm here." You hoped she was awake. You stood there like a ghost, almost shaking from the rain. A few moments later, she opened up the door. "Are you insane, what the fuck Y/n?" "Please, Reneé, I need to talk to you," you pleaded, you missed her voice so much, hell, you missed her so much. She hesitated but let you in, despite how it was almost 1am. "I'm so sorry, for everything, I'm so sorry I hurt you or pushed you away. I don't know what was wrong with me, but I really wanna make it up to you, and I'll do whatever it takes-" She cut off your rambling, "Y/n, it's 1am, are you okay? You could've come tomorrow." You shook your head and said no, to which she raised her eyebrow. "I broke up with Chris," you say. "I'm sor-" You interrupt her, "No, Reneé, I want you. I want you for worse or for better, I would wait for ever and ever. Broke your heart, I'll put it back together, just please." She looks at you, and smiles, "Wow, you really figured it out, hm?" Her fingers trace your chin, pulling her closer as she wraps her arms around your waist. Your foreheads press together, as she smiles against you. She leans in, pressing her lips against yours in a kiss, you kiss back, passionately. That was it, you felt complete, you were in love with Reneé Rapp. She made you so, so happy. "I really missed you," you say, to which she just kisses you again, making you giggle. And that's how it worked, that's how you got the girl. [part 3 with smut?]

[scorpioriesling]

Dance For Me, Baby HC

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Pairing(s): Rhysand / Eris / Azriel / Lucien / Cassian / Tamlin x reader

Warnings: IMPLIED SUGGESTIVENESS, READ WITH CAUTION

Summary: Each male is in a different situation with a famous female with you as the OC, and you're in a performance-based setting. The perfomance is based on the song/dance listed with each character (:

SR’s Note: I hope you guys like this lol idk where or why I thought this one up

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Rhysand's Performance - Vigilante Shit (Taylor Swift)

"Draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man."

"WHOOO, YES!" Rhysand unashamedly shouts through the quieted arena, all eyes turning to face him and gush

All your fans knew of your relationship, and to put it simply... the two of you were absolute goals

He was the best boyfriend, coming to every show he could, always being so supportive of you, and offering his love in every way -- when you were on (and off) the stage

You can't help but chuckle into the mic while trying to remain serious during your song as Rhys bobs his head along to your sensual song, swaying back and forth with your movements

"And she looks so pretty..." you lilt, and he claps loudly from the front row where he watches

"YES SHE DOES!" he shouts. You roll your eyes playfully, many fans in the pit "aww"ing at the interaction and watching the two of you

You try and remember to focus your attention to the whole crowd as you perform your routine on the chair -- it's hard when your handsome man is literally right there, catching your eye

Ugh, let's face it -- that chair should be him, shouldn't it?

Nonetheless, it propels you to dance harder, and keep going; you know his pride in you, and the reward you'll get later for working so hard

Sneaking a glance just one more time at Rhys, he's gazing at you lustfully, a smirk on his lips as he watches your arms and body roll in tandem with the music, the beads on your tiny dress swaying with each movement of your hips

The moment the song ends and the stagelights dim, you feel his delicate touch in your mind, voice delicate, unlike his promise of what is to come post-show

"I'll be the one getting revenge later, darling."

･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Eris' Performance - Greedy (Tate Mcrae)

"Alright! Let's uh... let's run Greedy one more time before we call it? Yeah?" Your manager's voice echoes through the open arena, bouncing off the open walls. You nod, and glance to the left corner of the arena when outside light floods in

One of your bodyguards is ushering in someone, and it only takes you a moment to figure out who it is. You hold up a "1" finger, and your manager sighs, nodding from the sound booth near the ceiling as you hop off the stage and jog toward your bodyguard and the approaching guest

"Hey!" You say, excitedly throwing your arms around your boyfriend's neck. He smiles brightly, pulling you into a hug and spinning you around by your waist

"Hey baby," he mumbles into your hair, setting you onto the ground gently. He pulls back to gaze into your eyes, and you smile breathlessly up at him, sweat sticking on your forehead

"I'm sorry I got here a little early to pick you up, " he glances around. "Maybe I can watch the end of your rehearsal?" He asks cautiously. You roll your eyes playfully and push his shoulder lightly

"I'm mainly practicing my moves today," you say. He glances to the top of your head and smirks

"I can tell," You gasp and swat his chest, causing him to laugh. You cross your arms over your chest

"Well... I've been at it all day. I can't promise it'll be all that good," you say. He only shrugs

"Show me what you've got."

You raise your brow at the challenge, sauntering back to the stage and climbing back upon it

"HIT IT!" You shout, and your manager begins the track to your song "greedy". On instinct, you begin singing along. Your voice is drowned out by the loud music, but you don't mind; Eris has heard you sing a million times

You accentuate each move to the fullest, performing this time as though your life depends on it. He has approached the edge of the stage, lightly crossing his arms over his chest, and staring you down like he's ready to eat you whole

You continue to dance, whipping your hair and moving your ass in a circle the way you were choreographed to do, but as full as you are physically able. Eris watches intently, smirking and shaking his head at you

As the song draws to a close, you stand, panting and bracing your hands on your hips

"Alright! I'll call it for today." Your manager says over the speakers. "Really good run, Y/N. Maybe your boyfriend should come to all our rehearsals," she says with a chuckle. You can't help but huff a laugh, dropping to your knees and sliding off the stage. Eris meets you, brows high on his forehead as he leans close to whisper in your ear

"Don't ever tell me you don't dance good again."

･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Azriel's Performance - Don't Start Now (Dua Lipa)

Azriel was more than excited to be your +1 to an awards show you'd been invited to perform at

This wasn't your first performance, as you'd toured before, done shows, all that... but you'd only been with Azriel for a couple of years, and you hadn't toured in that time, meaning he'd never seen you perform live

"You have a lot of fans," he said, wrapping his hand around your waist tighter as a million cameras flashed around the two of you on the carpet outside the venue

"Trust me dear -- they find you much more interesting," you say. You love to see the small tinge of pink that shades his cheeks, only you being the one to make him blush

After a few short interviews, autographs, and more photos -- Azriel walks you toward the stage door and presses a sweet kiss to your cheek

"You will do amazing, my love." He says

He's the only one to make you blush, too

"I'll find you after," You promise. He gives you one last small smile, and leaves you go get prepared for your performance

You don't meet his stare again until you're taking the stage for your hit single, "Don't Start Now"

The way his eyes roam over you in your pink two piece outfit make you feel as though you're one of the trophies being handed out tonight, and you begin singing, walking in time to your song with your dancers

When you get to the dance break, you're directly in front of Azriel in the front row, his eyes wide as he takes you in fully moving like a goddess in front of his very eyes

Kicking your feet in your cute boots, swaying your hips in your high cut sparkly pink bottoms, and rolling on the stage floor has the crowd cheering in awe -- and has your boyfriend speechless

By the end of the performance, your chest heaves breathlessly as you smile and look around, Azriel standing to clap above his head for you

You wink and saunter off the stage, changing quickly to not waste any more time not by his side. When you arrive at his side again, he pulls you close, hugging you fully

"You're... really, really good at dancing..." he says sheepishly, grinning so wide that all of his perfect teeth show

You giggle at him, kissing his reddened cheek. You love when he gets all giddy and speechless for you

･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Lucien's Performance - ... Baby One More Time (Britney Spears)

It was well into your tour when Lucien was finally able to come see you

You were so excited for him to finally be able to see you perform

He loved your girlypop songs, and he thought you were so cute in your little outfits you'd shown him

But, this was the first time he would get to finally see you live

He was in a private suite, and you could see him from everywhere on the stage

You were a little nervous pre-show, as you'd heard murmurs of rain showers in the area and the arena wasn't enclosed

Nonetheless -- you were going to perform your little heart out. It was just in youe nature to do so anyway, besides the fact that your boyfriend was finally there to see you

As tough as it was, you couldn't see Lucien pre-show. You really, really wanted to -- but between warm-ups, rehearsal, and hair and makeup, you did not want to distract yourself and Lucien agreed to see you first thing afterwards

Just knowing he was there, he was in the arena was enough for you to buzz with a different kind of energy that excited you more than ever before

When assembling your outfits in order, you yanked the typical pink one off the rack. Your outfits director gave you an incredulous look, and you only smirked at her. "I think I'm ready to try out that other one you recommended a few weeks ago"

She only chucked at you, replacing it with the skimpier option for the "Baby One More Time" number. "Maybe your boyfriend should attend all your shows", she said with a wiggle of her eyebrows

As the show started, you were able to spot him immediately. With his flaming red locks and overly joyful cheers, you couldn't help but perform harder than you had before

Each outfit change had him giving you a smile and a thumbs up like a dork, but once you were nearing the end of the show, you knew the last number was what would do him in

The stage descended into darkness, and you were hurriedly changed into your final outfit. You took a steadying breath in and scurried to one end of the ascention plane, your dancers surrouding you as the opening notes of "Baby One More Time" began

The lights arose, and the crowd erupted in cheers. The stagelights bathed every crystal on your glittering Swarovski bralette in radiant essence, and you tipped the edge of your fuzzy cowgirl hat once as you began strutting down the walkway, swaying your hips in your low-rise jeans. As if on cue, thunder cracked overhead and rain begain drizzling in from above, cascading over your esposed torso. You sang along to the beat, rolling your hips and flipping your soaking locks over your shoulder. The plane you stood on rose from the stage, and your abs flexed slightly as you fought for balance on the unstable surface

Your eyes met with Lucien's -- his jaw hung, and his mouth in a dramatic "O". You couldn't help but smile through your performance, playing up the movements as the song neared its ending

The crowd roared when you finished, and you thanked everyone for coming, waving to them all and blowing a kiss to your boyfriend. He met your eyes, and pointed to the door backstage, mouthing "You. Me. Back there. You know it." With a little wink

I'll leave you to just imagine the rest (;

･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Cassian's Performance - Espresso (Sabrina Carpenter)

Performing at a festival for the first time? A dream

Performing at a festival for the first time while your boyfriend was there watching you? A dream come true

Cassian was your biggest supporter in everything, especially your music career -- so when you were set to headline at one of Velaris' biggest music festivals, he was all over it

He even wore an "I <3 Y/N" shirt, but that is besides the point

You'd spent all morning getting ready with your team, the warm summer sun only encouraging you to get in the mood to perform your new song for the summer to the awaiting fans outside the doors of your backstage prep room

"Y/N! On in five!" The stage manager called. You smiled to yourself one last time, savoring these last few moments before you'd allow anyone outside your recording team and your boyfriend to hear your new hit single

When you finally took the stage, you walked back and forth, allowing the cool breeze to ruffle your long hair and cool your nerves burning through your skin. This was new for you, performing at this festival, and you worked the crowd for a little crowd interaction as you gazed to the right section where Cassian promised he'd be

The sight of his wings behind him left you smiling as he waved both hands over his head, and you send him a small wave in return. You also couldn't help but giggle at the corny tee he donned, dispite the taunts he'd recieved from Rhys and Azriel about it as the intro to "Espresso" began

As if on instinct, you began moving in time with your dancers to the song, keeping your movements small and controlled to conserve energy while singing your heart out. Nonetheless, you were performing - and the crowd was loving it, swaying and cheering along, but none of them as enthusiastic as your boyfriend

When you'd reached the end of your performance, you gave the edge of your fluffy white skirt one final toss and winked to Cassian before waving to the crowd. They erupted in applause, and Cassian cluthched his heart, pretending to faint before smiling widely at you. You giggled once more, skipping happily down the steps of the stage to the sectioned off area of the crowd to watch as the next performer geared up to take the platform. Cassian embraced you with his arms wide, lifting you high and rubbing your small back with his large hands

"Ha Ha!! Yesss that's my girl!" He praised. "You did amazing, sweetheart," he said, setting you back down and twirling you in a circle, admiring you from head to toe

"Why thank you, love bug." You say, standing on your absolute tippy-toes to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. He holds you in place with his hands wrapped around your waist, his voice a raspy whisper agaist the shell of your ear

"I'll drink your Espresso any day."

･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Tamlin's Performance - Obsessed (Olivia Rodrigo)

Tamlin had been to your shows a few times, as he was your best friend... well, you were his best friend

Sure, he was yours too, but... you'd always wanted more with him. How he didn't see that? You weren't sure

You always listened to his problems, been there for him when he needed you, and he was always there for you too

This show was an example of that. You were performing an unreleased song, one that would be a huge suprise for your whole fanbase, and as this was something you'd never done before, naturally, you were nervous

Of course you confided in your best friend about it, and he was perfect about it; he made you feel better, gave you all the courage you needed...

"What is the song about?" he'd asked you

"Well... there's this guy..." His brows had raised

"Oh?" He'd asked, suprised

"It's not about the guy, just... about his ex girlfriend, ectually. Haha," you'd explained. He only noded.

"Well that's... different. I didn't know you liked anyone." You immediately tensed, wanting to change the subject.

"It's also making me nervous, I hope people will like my aesthetic change too. I'm going with red this time... not... purple, like usual." You stammered. He nodded looking at the floor.

"What kind of red?" He asked. You looked around, eyes landing on the very thing that you two shared the most in common.

"Like, the color of the wooden panes of your fiddle."

It was after that he told you he actually wouldn't be able to come to this show. Which sucks, because you really, really wanted him to come. Little did he know, he was the guy. You liked him. He was going to come all along, why all the sudden the cold feet?

You sighed to yourself as you exited the stage, changing into the very outfit you'd hoped to be debuting for Tamlin today. As if on cue, your assistant rushes up to you with a bouquet of 12 perfect red roses, a small card in hand. She was out of breath, as were you as your atage attendants pulled fabric over your shoulders and brushed through your hair.

"This... these... he said it had to be now," she breathed. You quickly took the card from her, eyes scanning over the words.

You know I wouldn't miss this for the world. And quite frankly, I think you look beautiful in red.

You recognised the handwriting immediately, and your heart felt like it might explode out of your chest. Your assistant took the card back from you, promising to put the flowers in your dressing room as your brand new, shiny red guitar was thrust into your arms and the stage section you stood on was being lifted once more

You met the lights, the screams, the cheering -- and you looked. You searched the sides, the back, all around. You wouldn't find him, it was no use

You didn't care. He was here. He was here to see you. And he thought you were beautiful

The intro of "Obsessed" begins, and you shakily start the motions you'd practiced over and over. Dragging a sensual hand down your chest, the crowd roars and you're filled with confidence, moving to strum a few chords on your guitar. Its not long before you retire it for a microphone instead, heading toward the corner of the stage for the part of the song where you sing laying on the stage floor

It's then, when you're belting the lyrics, back arched, the you look to the side and meet those familiar emerald eyes, staring at you in shock. His strong arms are flexed over his chest, satisfaction and awe gleaming in his stare. You only smirk and continue, thrusting your hips and writing on the ground with the lyrics

As you continue your show, the crowd goes absolutely wild, and you're a panting mess by the end of it -- a panting, satisfied, excited mess

When you round the corner to your dressing room, you find him there, leaned against your vanity, hands braced against the edge of it as his lustful eyes meet yours. His roses are sat nest to him on the table, and you can't help but grin as you slowly saunter into the room, quietly closing the door behind you. He is the one to break the silence first, licking his lips as he drinks you in with his stare

"So... it seems there is something we needed to discuss, Y/N."

･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

[vivwritesfics]

Hey can you write a daniel ricciardo x gf reader fanfic based on you're in love by Taylor swift.either that or like sweet nothing by taylor. Js something cute,fluffy and like a quiet domestic love sort of thing

this took me so long and i'm so sorry 😭 I'm not a swiftie and when i listened to these songs/googled the lyrics, I really couldn't find a way to write something fluffy. Soooo, i wrote this instead (still includes taylor swift songs) (also, pls don't judge me for the title of this - i was tryina find a taylor lyric that felt the vibe of this)

The second part

Drive Out Of The City, Away From The Crowds

Road tripping means Danny's singing + taylor concert

Daniel was a singer. He wasn't a talented one, but he didn't care. He sang his heart out and he loved it. His girlfriend loved it too. Actually, there weren't much things better than hearing Danny belt out a tune. He wore a smile on his face as he recited the lyrics with ease.

It didn't matter where they were; if there was music playing, Daniel would sing along. He didn't care who was around; if he knew the lyrics he would sing along.

Y/N's camera roll seemed to be just videos of Daniel singing. Most of them had him moving his head from side to side as he sang at her. Damn, she was so in love with him.

Daniel loved singing at her when they were doing domestic things, cooking or cleaning, or even when they were in the bath together.

You know, the kind of bath were you have candles lit and so many bubbles that you couldn't see the water beneath. Y/N would have her back pressed against Daniel's toned chest, both of them holding a glass of wine. There was a speaker on the toilet and Daniel sang along in one of his softer voices.

Night like that didn't get much better. Daniel tried to make sure they happened as often as possible. Starting with a home cooked, candle lit dinner, finishing with them in the bed, enjoying each other.

Daniel loved the USA. He loved it so much that he had his own place in Texas. It was a good thing that Y/N loved it, too. They'd spend a lot of summer break out there, escaping and enjoying each others company.

One day, Y/N suggested a road trip across America. This was before Daniel was signed to AlphaTauri, so the couple had all of the time in the world (lets pretend he's not at every race). Daniel jumped at the chance. "Fuck yeah baby!" He shouted and leaned forward to kiss her.

So, they planned a road trip. Starting at Danny's place in Texas, they'd do a three day drive and end up in New York. Their were motel stops planned on their trip, and the two had enough music to listen to something different every day.

The drive was only meant to be twenty six hours, but Daniel and Y/N had plans to stop and see the sights. It was cliché and tourist-y of them, but they didn't care. They were so excited.

Daniel was the designated driver. He was never the passenger princess, never the one not driving. He was the one who got to pick the music. When the drive began, he was just singing softly, but as soon as they were on the highway, things picked up.

Soon Daniel was belting out the songs, singing along to Taylor Swift.

Daniel was a massive Swiftie. He knew most of the lyrics to most of the songs, new and old. When her newest album came out, Daniel freaked out and posted about it on his social media for a full week. Their road trip to New York City just so happened to end with them at one of her concerts.

On the first night, they stopped in a sleazy motel. Daniel paid for the room wearing an inconspicuous hat and sunglasses. That night Y/N and Daniel had a few drinks, watched shitty motel TV and enjoyed each other.

The next day when they set out on the road, Y/N had snacks. Snacks that Daniel's trainer definitely wouldn't have approved of. It was all junk, all shit, with Gatorade to top it off.

As Danny drove, Y/N fed him. They had their first tourist stop on the second day of their trip. When they pulled over, they weren't recognised. It was only once they asked a kind lady there with her teenaged son that they were recognised. It was that teenaged son who gasped and asked 'are you Daniel Ricciardo?'

After that, they set off once again. Daniel and Y/N were both singing together as they drove on, Y/N videoing it as they did. They stopped at the next tourist trap, got another picture and set off again.

The day went on and on like this, and they never got bored. That second night they were in another sleazy motel with a couple of drinks, shitty television and each other. That night they tried to recreate their signature bath, but it was rather difficult in that motel bathroom.

When they set off for their third day of driving, they weren't too far away from New York. Daniel was incredibly excited. They'd booked a fancy hotel and that night they had the concert. "Do you think, if I messaged her, she'd help me to propose?"

Y/N scoffed and lightly smacked his shoulder, which had Daniel protesting.

"Hey, I'm being serious! When I want to propose, do you think I could get the ultimate queen to help?"

"Danny, you do realise you're saying you want to marry me, right?"

His hand moved to her knee. "Of course I know that. And I do. I seriously want to marry you."

"I seriously want to marry you too."

That night they had dinner. Nothing too fancy - they could have a fancy dinner when they were in Monaco. And then it was off to the concert. Daniel had his hand wrapped around Y/N for the entire night, as she shouted the songs along with Taylor Swift herself.

[andillneverbethesame]

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒈𝒏𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒎𝒔.

❥ harry potter x fem!reader

❥ summary; you didn't want to break his heart but you had to

❥ warnings; none really

❥ a/n; 99% based off champagne problems by taylor swift!!

"your ticket, please," said the ticket collector. it was loud enough for the young man to hear but he remained still, staring out of the window. "sir?"

harry's head snapped to the man's direction. "oh, yes, sorry." his hand quickly found it 's way into the pocket of his jacket. unconsiously, while grabbing the little paper, his fingers also wrapped around a tiny box and when he gave opened his hand to give the collector his ticket, it fell onto the floor.

harry stared at it for a moment and the man chuckled, realising what was inside.

"i can see why you're so lost in your thoughts," said the man. "i'm sure she'll say yes. good luck!"

"she said—" before harry could finish the sentence, the door of the compartment closed, "no."

he sighed and glanced back at the black box between his feet, wondering if it would matter if he simply left it there. maybe some man finds it and will be lucky, not like me, he thought. but he bent and picked it up anyway. it was his mother's ring after all.

——————————————————————

the way back to london was endless.

earlier that night, harry was joined by two young men and women who seemed that they couldn't shut their mouths no matter what. harry wanted to pack his things and find another compartment. he wanted to sleep and let himself dream that things went differently.

but now, that everyone but him was asleep, harry wanted nothing more but to be a part of a conversation that didn't involve relationships, marriage, kids or anyone named y/n. his thoughts didn't let him fall asleep no matter how much he tried.

——————————————————————

"want to go somewhere more quiet?" harry whispered in your ear, making you shiver and at the same time, setting your skin on fire under his warm touch on your upper arm.

you turned around and smiled. "now, harry, that would be so inappropriate from me," you pointed at the small tiara ginny put on your head earlier. "it's my birthday party."

your boyfriend put on a puppy face. "please?"

you rolled your eyes and chuckled. you put your hand in his open one. "how could i say no to that face?" you glanced back at your friends who were sitting at the same table as you. "excuse me, everyone."

ron, hermione and luna all sniggered and then winked at you. you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion but you blamed it at the alcohol.

harry lead you outside on the driveway in front of your parents's house. his other hand travelled to your lower back and you put yours on his shoulder.

"have i told you how beautiful you look tonight?" harry stared into your eyes. blood rushed into your cheeks and you only hoped the dim light from the lamp post wasn't bright enough for him to see how he makes you feel.

"about a million times," you responded. "but it won't hurt to hear it again."

"you really look enchanting. i don't know how i got this lucky." before you could respond, harry pulled you into a deep kiss, leaving you breathless.

"what's gotten into you, huh?" you asked after catching you breath. "not that i don't like it."

"it's a special day."

you shrugged. "only my birthday."

"maybe not only that."

you raised your eyebrow. "huh? what?"

instead of responding verbally, harry lowered himself and got on one knee.

you snorted. "babe, what are you doing? get up!" he didn't. he pulled a tiny black box out of the pocket of his suit and opened it.

a gasp left your mouth at the sight of a ring you recognised. you've seen it before. it was his mother's.

"harry. . ." in all the shock, it felt impossible to say anything else.

the boy couldn't hear the tone in your voice. the one that obviously said, "please, don't continue, i don't want to break your heart."

"y/n, i've said it before and here i am kneeling before you, saying it again; the years we've spent together were the best years of my life. and i want to feel this way until my last day. because only with you, i can die happy. so. . . y/n y/l/n, will you marry me?"

you stared at him, wide eyed with your mouth open. you definitely didn't see this coming when he lead you outside. however, you were sure of your answer.

"y/n?" the smile he had before was slowly fading away from his face with every passing second you took to answer.

you shook your head. "no, harry, not now."

the look in his eyes broke your heart. "what? what do you mean?"

you sighed, turned around and started walking away from him. he got up and you heard him running to you. he got a hold of your hand, making you turn around once again.

"you can't just reject me and leave like that without any explanation, y/n."

"i'm sorry, harry, i really am!" tears threatened to fall out of your eyes.

"i don't want to hear you're sorry," harry was crying by this point. "i want to hear why you don't want to marry me."

"we're too young, harry, i am not ready for this kind of commitment yet!" you explained.

"young?" harry repeated loudly. "we're twenty. my parents got engaged straight after finishing their n.e.w.t.s exams!"

"and that's great if that worked for them, but i am not your mum and you, as much as you look like him, are not your dad. we are not them, harry! i'm sorry if you don't want to hear that but that's the truth!"

"i can't believe this," harry retorted. "were you ever even planning on marrying me? was i even in the image when you imagined your future?"

"of course, you were," you tried to calm him down. you reached for his hand but he backed away before your fingers could even connect. "it's just too early."

"it's never early when it's the one," he claimed. "i'm gonna ask you a question and i want a brutally honest answer. am i the one for you?"

"yes! yes, you are!" you cried out. by this moment, your mascara was smudged and you were having trouble seeing clearly through the tears. "never in my life have i had any doubts about that. harry, i do want to spend the rest of my life with you. and we will get married, but just not now."

"well," harry put the ring back into his pocket. "i don't want to wait." and with that, he left you out there standing.

when he was out of sight, you, very slowly, made your way back into the house.

cheering was the first thing you heard when you walked into the living room. hermione splashed out on the bottle. but after everyone got a good look at the state you were in, everyone stopped celebrating.

"y/n? what happened? where's harry?" ron asked.

"he's gone. forever."

——————————————————————

"so, she just said. . . no?" lily, harry's mum, asked for what felt like millionth time.

"yes, mum," harry mumbled, his fork playing with the potatoes on his plate.

"but i just don't understand. why?"

"she said she wasn't ready."

james potter snorted. "what a stupid excuse."

lily still couldn't wrap her head around the fact that you won't be her daughter in law. "but she would've made such a lovely bride."

"yeah," sirius black agreed. "what a shame she 's fucked in the head."

"sirius," harry glared at him.

"what?" the man put his hands up in defense. "i'm just saying, if she had a common sense, she would've said yes in a heartbeat."

harry shrugged. "maybe, it's for the best. guess it wouldn't work when we both want something else."

——————————————————————

2 years & 7 months later.

this was the worst date of your life.

you weren't even listening to the man sitting in front of you. all he did was talk about himself. he didn't even ask you a question. he doesn't know a thing about you while you knew everything about him. even the name of his grandma.

"y/n, if you excuse me, i'll go use the toilet."

you faked a smile and nodded. "alright."

"be right back."

"oh, you don't have to be," you said under your breath while you watched him leave.

you looked around the restaurant, thinking and searching for something that could get you out of the situation. just then, you heard it. the voice you haven't heard in almost three years.

"y/n?"

he looked the same like the night you broke up, just a bit older. he wore the same glasses that made his eyes bigger. he was dressed in a black suit and he looked so charming as always.

what caught you off guard was the girl who was standing next to him. ginny looked so much more mature now. her red hair was in braid. she wore long dark green dress that almost matched her eyes. she looked magnificent.

they looked magnificent together.

"wow, harry, ginny," you were speechless. "hi."

you hadn't seen anyone from harry's friend group for a while. you and hermione occasionally called but that was it. interesting she didn't mention this.

"what are you doing here?" harry asked but before you could answer, your date came back.

"um, martin, meet old friends of mine — harry and ginny. harry, ginny, this is martin."

after they all shook the other's hands and exchanged all their "nice to meet you"'s, the couple excused themselves and went to sit down so they could order their dinner. suddenly, you didn't want to leave the restaurant so much anymore. something kept you there.

while martin went on to talk about his job, you pretended to listen while keeping an eye at the table harry and ginny sat at.

you couldn't help but wonder how the hell did this happen. questions came flooding into your brain. how? when? is it serious? are they engaged? how long after you shattered harry's heart did they start dating? do harry's parents like her more than they liked you? is he happier with her than he was with you?

about an hour later, you saw harry getting on one knee for the second time in his life.

you couldn't see ginny's face but you knew by the look in harry's eyes that this proposal is going a different way than when he proposed to you. you also couldn't help but to notice that it was the same tiny black box and the same ring.

but everything was different.

ginny nodded and pulled harry into a deep kiss.

you hoped that she'll patch up the tapestry you shred, that she stitches his heart right back up. and that he won't remember all your champagne problems.

[separatist-apologist]

My Whole Life Is Ruined

Summary: When you hold me, it holds me together, and you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever

Surprise @talons-and-teeth! I'm sorry for the wait- I was not your original secret santa. I pulled this together based on what I know about you and I hope you like it! @acotargiftexchange

Big thanks to @octobers-veryown for making a moodboard with practically no instructions other than one Taylor Swift lyric and the description "Azriel has been hiding the fact he's Gwyn's mate and they have sex about it."

--

Insomnia was nothing new. 

Gwyn couldn’t remember the last time she’d fully slept through the night. The past chased the present, running in circles as she ran after her tail, almost grasping it before she woke covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Sometimes, bathed in nothing but moonlight, Gwyn wondered if there would ever come a time when she didn’t dream of her sister, of a life long gone.

It didn’t rattle her as badly as it used to. Sitting in the bed Nesta had so graciously offered up, Gwyn pushed the blankets from her legs to let the cool, winter air caress her overheated skin. Leaving the library still felt like a picked over wound. She didn’t want to go back, cloistered away from her friends and the life she’d begun to enjoy living. That didn’t mean she wasn’t scared.

Anxiety seemed to thrum beside her heartbeat, a constant presence she could only just shake if she was otherwise occupied. Right then, in the dead of night, Gwyn felt it snake around her until it was wrapped tight around her throat, choking a scream that always seemed so close to escaping.

She didn’t bother changing out of her thin nightdress, certain neither Cassian or Nesta would be up this late. If they were even back—they’d gone to Hewn City that evening for some meeting with a Day Court prince, giving Gwyn full run of the House of Wind. Not that she did anything terribly interesting with all that power—Gwyn got a book and some hot chocolate and spent the night curled in a chair reading until she finally dragged herself into bed.

Maybe she should have trained on the roof first. Really worn herself down so her brain was too exhausted to conjure up memories of the past, all the while whispering of how she might have prevented it, if she’d only been stronger, smarter, cleverer. Forcing her to relive it, to pick it apart to see what could have been different.

That was exhausting, too.

Cold air hit her the moment she pushed open the door, howling a greeting that might have scared someone else off. Gwyn liked the biting cold, the raucous yelling, the silhouette of the mountains looming like shadows in the distance. A half moon poured light over the rooftop, causing sleeping weapons to glint beneath. Maybe, she thought ruefully, she should have put on socks. Hair caught against her lips, and as Gwyn worked to push it out of her face, wishing for a hair tie, too. 

It wasn’t too late and yet she was already here, wasn’t she? Might as well just power through, ignoring her discomfort like she was so accustomed to. The bite of cold was a reminder she’d survived—she was alive. So what if it burned a little? Sometimes Gwyn thought she fought better when she was in pain.

And more often than not, she suspected she deserved to feel it. That the curling peace was a mistake and everyone was going to realize what an imposter she was. They’d tell her she didn’t belong with them and cast her back out. Gwyn was always just waiting for it, a hammer that might fall at any given moment. 

A blade just against her neck, never quite striking.

Gwyn pulled out a dagger, her favored weapon, and held it for a moment in her hand. Nesta was all brute strength, and Emerie terrifying yet easy grace, but Gwyn liked to be the shadow in the dark. The knife at someone's side rather than a screaming sword coming for a person's throat. While Nesta and Emeries radiated the kind of beauty that made men cower, Gwyn liked to think she was sweeter, more unassuming. People looked at Nesta, at Emerie, and were taken by their perfection.

They looked at Gwyn and wondered why she was with them. So Gwyn trained harder, made herself someone that couldn’t be ignored. Not forever, anyway. She was good at hiding, besides, taking to trees, blending into the background so often that on more than one occasion, Cassian and Nesta didn’t realize Gwyn was in the room until she cleared her throat. 

Unbalanced, Gwyn took a second dagger and for a moment, was the wind itself. Recalling the movements Azriel had been teaching her, Gwyn stepped like a dance, twisting her body and slashing her blades against invisible foes.

A real ones, too. A shadow moved from the edge of the ring, catching her by surprise. Gwyn darted, and just as Azriel had taught her, grabbed them, slamming their body to the ground. It was thunder the way that massive, familiar form crashed against the world, a mighty god dragged from the heavens themselves.

Azriel groaned, eyes closed even as his hands grabbed her waist, holding her knee painfully against his ribs. “That was good,” he gasped, fingers curling into her skin. 

“I’m so sorry,” she replied, dropping the blade she’d pressed to his throat. A thin line of blood snaked over golden, tattooed skin, staining the rather lovely black jacket he was wearing. Why was he up here, she wondered? Shouldn’t he be enjoying himself with his friends and family? 

Azriel swallowed hard, opening hazel eyes that cut through the otherwise oppressive dark to look at her.

“I’m not.”

And then he released her, letting her scramble backwards, heart thumping in her chest. Azriel didn’t move, wings spread wide around against the ground. He looked like a fallen angel and Gwyn was awed at the sight, the realization that it had been her who’d felled him. He was looking right back at her, his expression clouded by shadow. Was he angry? He said he wasn’t, but surely he didn’t appreciate being assaulted in his own home. 

Not that she saw much of him since she’d moved in. Azriel, who maintained a bedroom in the House of Wind, was suddenly gone and when Gwyn was really down, she sometimes thought it was because he didn’t like being around her. Here he was, though, clambering to his feet, his eyes sliding down her body. She could feel the heat of them like he was touching her skin and was grateful for a sudden burst of wind hitting her like a bucket of ice water.

Careful, she warned herself. 

It was hard, though. Anyone with eyes could see how beautiful Azriel was. She wasn’t stupid. It didn’t hurt that in her worst moment, Azriel’s had been the very first she’d seen. A savior—a dark angel, come to wreak bloody vengeance on her sister's behalf. It had been Morrigan who’d taken her away to safety, but when Gwyn thought about how she’d escaped, she always remembered Azriel’s curved, lethal blade, sliding cleanly through the bodies of the same males who had killed her sister.

She’d always been grateful to him for it, even if she’d never tell him. He’d never once looked at her like he remembered, had never betrayed an ounce of pity. She’d expected him to say something back when he’d first joined their training, wary and distant. And maybe he knew, because he kept his distance until it was safe, had held himself at an arm's length and let her decide how much or little of him she wanted. 

The problem was Azriel himself. Outside of being the most beautiful man he’d ever seen, he was just nice. Not in the way Cassian was, with big smiles and silly jokes, but with serious eyes and a dagger in hand, forcing her to move again and again and again. Your steps are off, Gwyn—you’ll get yourself killed that way. Eyes on your opponent, don’t look away. Hold your breath, don’t let them know you’re there.

Because he knew it mattered to her. That she wouldn’t be caught off guard ever again, that Gwyn would never let someone hurt her. Often, she wondered if he didn’t understand that pain, if it didn’t mirror some tragedy of his own. They didn’t talk about it—they didn’t need to. It was an understanding between them, something so intimate she would never share it with another living soul.

She kept waiting for Azriel to step back, to tell her she’d done enough, that she should finish with Cassian. He never did. Even when he was gone, Gwyn practiced knowing he’d want to see the progress she’d made while he was gone. And when he returned, he’d wait on the roof even when she’d flippantly told him it would be easier to just send word via letter.

I don’t mind waiting.

Those words still felt so charged to her. Like he was trying to say something else, eyes glittering and bright like the stars overheard. Gwyn pulled herself from her thoughts to look up at Azriel looming overhead, his wings flared around him as if he was trying to make himself seem larger. It was working—he was massive, muscular and tall and just like before, half fallen angel, half terrifying god come to earth so he might reign. 

“You look cold,” Azriel commented, caught looking at her. 

Gwyn put her hands on her hips. So what if he was? “I’m not.”

“Bullshit.”

Smothering a smile, Gwyn asked with faux outrage, “Are you calling me a liar?”

She swore the corners of his lips twitched. “To your face, even.”

“The cold doesn’t bother me,” Gwyn said, shifting from one leg to another, a gesture he seemed to register with sharp-eyed interest. Proof, she realized as his fingers began making quick work of his jacket. “No, that’s not—”

“Suck it up,” was Azriel’s dark voiced response, draping the warm jacket against her shoulders, leaving himself only in a black shirt stretched over his muscular torso. His eyes slid back down to her legs, lips flattening as he realized she was without shoes, too. “You’ll catch your death out here.”

Gwyn could smell the heady, masculine scent of him coming from the fabric, her arms far too small for the large holes. Still, she didn’t protest, turning to look toward the outline of the mountains instead.

“Maybe. But what a way to go.”

“It’s hardly heroic to die from the cold,” Azriel murmured, turning to follow her gaze. Did he know what she was thinking? How they had nearly died in the blood rite, thrown in wearing only a thin night dress against well-armed warriors? She wondered if Azriel would have found that heroic, even if it had been the cold that had gotten them.

Gwyn blew out a breath, the steam of air curling between them as one of his shadows darted out, illuminated by starlight. It wasn’t the first time and she wondered if they thought she, too, had a shadow for them to interact with.

Or if it meant something else.

Something more.

“Inside,” Azriel finally said, a gust of wind ruffling his night dark hair.

“You’re fussy tonight,” she grumbled, not protesting when his fingers pressed against the small of her back, pushing her toward the door. Heat pulsated from the touch, settling low in her stomach. “Did something happen?”

Azriel pulled open the door with his free hand, his touch never quite leaving. “No. Hewn City is unchanging.”

She glanced up at him, the light softening the harsh lines of his face. “Is that a good thing?”

“It’s predictable.”

“I want to see it,” Gwyn declared, though in truth she wasn’t entirely sure that was true. Still, the corners of Azriel’s mouth twitched a bit, as if the whole thing amused him. 

“You would devour them,” was his easy, good-natured response. “To their endless delight.”

“And yet I’ve been snubbed yet again,” she teased, elbowing him gently in the ribs. “Do I file my complaint with you…or…?”

“You were spared the grating presence of Vanserra,” Azriel said, cocking his head with a half smile. “But I will pass along your discontent to the High Lord.”

“Be sure that you do,” Gwyn replied, grinning by the time Azriel deposited her into a chair in the study. He didn’t go far, sitting on the arm, his wings draped behind them. She could see the flexing muscle of his thigh beneath his well-tailored pants. If she’d wanted, she could have touched him.

It was obscene how badly she wanted to. How she had to clench her fingers to fists to keep from reaching out, well aware that Azriel would withdraw entirely and, perhaps, never speak to her again. He’d been nothing if not unfailingly polite, besides…though…he had been looking at her in the clingy, short nightdress, hadn’t he? 

Just because you were cold, her mind reminded her. After all, she was still wearing his jacket. Gwyn shrugged out of it, heat blooming over her cheeks as she shoved it into his lap. There. She’d gotten to touch him without him knowing and give him back his jacket before she convinced herself to keep it.

And possibly sleep in it.

Azriel arched a dark brow, hazel eyes staring at the rumpled fabric now balled in his lap. “What did the jacket do to offend you?” he asked, taking it in broad, callused hands. He’d removed his siphons, leaving the scarred skin wholly on display. She wondered what had happened to him—and why. 

If he’d ever gotten his revenge for it.

“It’s yours—that’s enough,” she replied flippantly. Holding her gaze, Azriel picked up the jacket and brought it to his nose. Time seemed to stop, frozen entirely as she watched him do this.

And he watched her, daring her to say something. She opened her mouth, gaping, only to close it.

And Azriel smiled. Broad and unrestrained, as if he were so delighted he couldn’t help himself. Tilting his head toward the roof, he murmured, “House—some tea, if you don’t mind.”

Of course the house didn’t mind. Two cups of steaming tea rattled on the coffee table before them, complete with sugar and honey, if either of them wanted it.

Gwyn didn’t think she could pick up a cup without betraying the rattle of her hands. Why? Azriel had discarded the jacket casually, tossing it to another chair like it was uninteresting to him. And was he closer, now? His thigh was, she was certain, but had his arm always been behind her. If she moved a few inches, he could have slid into the seat to join her.

He could pull you into his lap if he wanted. 

Which, of course, he didn’t

Didn’t he?

“Why are you here?” she asked, hating that breathless quality of her voice. Azriel heard it, too, head snapping to the side, nose flared as though searching for something she couldn’t place. 

“I like to be near you,” he replied. He could have thrown her across the room and surprised her less. Once again, Gwyn opened her mouth only for no sound to leave her throat. 

“You—you’re never here,” she finally managed. Azriel leaned forward, the faelights gilding the dark ink of his tattoos scrawled over his biceps. He took one of the cups and handed it to her, fingers brushing her own.

“I can’t stand being around you,” was his maddening, level response. 

Gwyn’s stomach sank. “What?”

She couldn’t drink—not when such a strange admission hung between them. Azriel, so unused to verbosity, was now forced to explain himself. It occurred to her just as he turned fully to look at her, some of the color drained from his otherwise beautiful face, that perhaps he wanted this confrontation. She didn’t, though, and wished she could have told him so. Things were fine between them—distant, maybe, and filled with a lopsided yearning on her end, but that was better than whatever he was about to do.

Gwyn had the distinct feeling Azriel was about to crush her. Emotionally ruin her. Destroy her so recklessly there would be no coming back.

“You still don’t feel it?” he asked instead, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “After all this time?”

A new fear speared through her gut. There was only one thing Azriel could possibly feel—and one thing she could possibly not. Gwyn had to set the shaking cup of tea down before bolting from her chair, arms wrapped around her chest. 

“You don’t feel anything,” she declared, deciding if she felt nothing, neither did Azriel. 

Pain lanced across his expression, replaced by grim determination. As he stood, Gwyn knew Azriel wasn’t going to let it go until they both felt exactly as he did—until she felt the mating bond. 

Gwyn shook her head, backing away as he advanced. “Don’t do this, Azriel—”

“Is it that terrible, then?” he asked her, his low words filled with a familiar emotion. One she recognized all too well—the loathing, the self-hatred, the expectation that of course she would reject him. 

“It’s—” Gwyn couldn’t breathe for the closeness of him, for the wanting to touch him. And maybe she did feel it, in her way. Had felt it the moment he’d strode into that cursed, wrecked room looking like the god of vengeance. She’d merely been too hurt to know it, too broken, too emotionally devastated. He should have frightened her and he never had.

Even then, towering over her with his muscular frame, Gwyn didn’t flinch away. She merely met his gaze with blazing defiance.

“You’re wrong,” she told him, keeping her voice light as she pushed at his chest so she could slip around him. “Or mistaken. There is no bond and I’m certain if you saw a healer, they’d—” Azriel grabbed her wrist, spinning her so her back was pressed to the floral papered wall behind her. Dipping his head, Azriel ran his nose the length of her neck.

“You’re no mistake, Gwyn.”

“I am,” she whispered without meaning to. Azriel could do so much better. Surely…surely he wanted better. What had that been like for him, she wondered, and before she could stop herself, she added, “When did you feel it?”

Something primal flared in those bright eyes of his. “Dinner with Nesta and Cassian. You touched my hand and I…” Holding up the offending hand, Azriel flexed his fingers in memory. “I felt the snap.”

That had been almost a year. It had been the last time Azriel had dinner with all of them, and right after she’d formally moved into the House of Wind. Gwyn still remembered that night—Azriel had bolted before dessert, murmuring something about needed to talk to Rhys. Gwyn had thought nothing of it—might never have thought about it again had he not pinned her against a wall to declare that had been the moment he’d felt a mating bond snap. 

“We’ve been training together for months,” she replied with no small amount of outrage. He’d been keeping this secret for that long? 

“I thought you’d feel it,” Azriel all but growled, eyes bouncing over her face. “And when you didn’t…”

“Rhys knows?”

“And Cassian—”

“So Nesta, too?!”

Gwyn shoved him again, harder this time. Azriel let her, she suspected, stepping back so she could have some breathing space. “They all know but I don’t.”

“And you’re taking the knowledge so well,” Azriel replied with a bite of sarcasm.

She whirled, wishing she had a dagger in hand even has the dried blood from his healed wound still taunted her. “I think I deserved to know before Cassian.”

“I needed his help,” Azriel admitted, running a hand over his mouth. “I needed to know how he managed it.”

“How difficult could it be,” she asked flippantly, intending to leave him there so she could think. Foolish to turn her back on a predator. Azriel had her again, wrapped in one strong arm, the other holding her jaw so she had to look at him.

“Hell,” he rasped, his anguish plain. “Every minute of it has been hell.” 

In Gwyn’s defense, she managed one, final, protest. “It’s just—”

His mouth covered hers before she could finish that statement, could say what they both knew she’d been thinking. As if he found the words so abhorrent he wouldn’t hear them, would swallow them until he’d snuffed them from their very existence.

Gwyn forgot what she’d been about to say at all. She’d thought about what it might be like to kiss him. If his mouth would be soft or rough, if he kissed like he fought or if there was passion bubbling beneath his icy exterior. She hadn’t been prepared for what it would feel like or how desire would overtake her so thoroughly she didn’t care about anything else. Were those her hands cupping his neck? Her lips hungrily kissing him back like a crazed, desperate creature?

Her tongue meeting his own, her legs moving until he had her back against the wall so he could press the length of his body against hers? 

There was only one thought in her name, an echo repeated over and over. Mate. Mate. Mate. 

Maybe he should have just kissed her at that dinner. Skipped the yearning, the anguish, the uncertainty. At least they would have been kissing, anyway. Gwyn forgot herself entirely, nails digging against his shoulder until Azriel helpfully hoisted her into the air so she could wrap her legs around his waist.

“Don’t talk about my mate like that,” he panted, dragging his teeth against her neck. “I love her.”

Gwyn whimpered. What did she say to that? As it turned out—nothing. Azriel kissed her again, sparing them both whatever incoherent nonsense might have tumbled from her lips. She might have sworn she loved him too, if only to convince him to keep kissing her like he was.

Gwyn was certain Azriel’s kiss had ruined her life. How was she supposed to go back to things as they were before? It wasn't knowing that he was her mate, but knowing the way his hands felt cupped against her face and the way wildfire sparked in her blood when his tongue slid into her mouth? 

The worst of it was when his hands left her ass, letting her slide down the hard slab of his body before she was ready. He pulled away, lips swollen and eyes wild, to take a healthy step away from her, though it seemed to take an immense amount of effort. For her part, she kept herself pressed to the wall, unsure what was happening.

“You know now,” Azriel managed, his voice hoarse, “and that’s…that’s all I wanted. I ah…I should go before—”

“You’re leaving?” she asked, strangely hurt by this new rejection. Gwyn knew all about mating bonds. What fae didn’t? Before she’d come here, she’d once dreamt of her own mate, giggling with her sister in their bunks as they imagined what that person might be like. If they existed at all, given the rarity of such a thing. It was almost funny that he’d been right here all along, close enough she could literally touch. 

And he was going to leave? He didn’t want to accept it? Did she? It was all happening so fast but of course you didn’t reject a mate. She could see the wariness on his face, could watch in real time as he pulled up his defenses as she realized that yes. That was exactly his expectation.

Why? She knew from Nesta’s stories that Azriel was well sought after. And she wasn’t blind. What female didn’t dream of a male with his bone structure? He was powerful and close to the High Lord, and beyond all that, Azriel was kind. A genuinely good person, the sort of male one could spend centuries with if they wanted.

What could she even offer him? Gwyn’s thoughts raced, listing all the reasons he ought to have stopped, why keeping this a secret made so much sense. She didn’t notice Azriel creeping closer and closer until his fingers were under her chin, lifting her face so she had to look at him. 

“You’re doing it again,” he murmured, his voice dark and dangerous. “Thinking unkind thoughts about my mate.”

“You can’t tell me what to think,” she shot back, her own voice trembling a little. He was so certain, so unbothered and in her entire life, had anyone ever immediately felt that way about her?

Nesta and Emerie. Catrin. 

Azriel.

“You have it all wrong,” Azriel murmured and she wondered if perhaps he could read her mind. “It is you who could do so much better.”

His words drew a gust of laughter from her lips. The mother had certainly chosen well, putting the two of them together. What a pair—she wondered who would relent first? Her, or Azriel? Who would believe they deserved a mating bond first? It occurred to Gwyn, as she reached for his arm to pull him closer, that she was a shade too competitive—she wanted it to be him who broke first. Who relented first, who believed he was worthy, was deserving. 

And she could see, from that golden glint burning in his own gaze, that he was thinking the exact same thing. 

“You’re stupid,” she whispered, surging up on her tiptoes to kiss him again. She could taste the smile spreading over his face, sweet against the warm heat of his mouth. It took her an embarrassing amount of time to realize he wasn’t smiling because she’d told him to stop talking, but because she was kissing him. Gwyn hadn’t even considered not kissing.

He was her mate, after all. He was hers. She felt that the way she felt her own heart, the possession, the desire, the heat. She didn’t feel the cord the way everyone spoke of, but perhaps that was mere metaphor. After all, Gwyn believed Azriel wouldn’t lie to her about something so life altering.

Besides. She liked kissing him, new as it was. Azriel was unhurried and thorough, just like every other task she’d ever seen him undertake. And for the first time in a long time, she wondered what it would be like if he paid her that sort of attention in the bedroom. They stood there like that, his arm keeping her on her toes, steady against his warm, solid body. Momentarily, Gwyn wondered what might happen if Nesta and Cassian were to come in and decided she didn’t care.

How many times had she walked in on them in far more compromising positions, besides? 

Tiny steps had Gwyn flush against the wood wall, pressed against Azriel’s hard body and oh. He wanted her. Wanted her in a way that emptied her mind of all other thought beyond the desire to touch him.

And she was allowed, she realized with giddiness. He belonged to her. It was a possessive thought that overrode everything else, including all her good sense. He was hers.

“Mine,” she whispered into his mouth, not meaning to. Azriel groaned, tangling a hand in her hair to tilt back her head, his tongue delving back between her teeth to really taste her. Without the leathers he usually wore, it was surprisingly easy to find the golden buttons on his jacket, undoing them before Azriel’s own brain seemed to catch up with what was happening.

His wings flared, enveloping around them for a moment as he pulled back, his breathing heavy.

“Cassian will be home soon,” he whispered, holding her close against him as if he expected his friend to take her away. “Nesta too.” “You have a bedroom here, right?” Gwyn said with more daring than she felt. Azriel’s once half-lidded eyes flew open, those hazel eyes searching her own. 

“I do,” he whispered, swallowing audibly. “There’s no rush—”

“Please?”

One moment she’d been standing there, her hand flat against the white, linen shirt Azriel wore beneath his jacket and the next her feet were in the air, her body cradled against him as he walked.

“I can’t think when you’re around,” Azriel was saying, his steps echoing against the wood. “Can’t think just looking at you. Sometimes I think I’ll wake up and this will have all been a dream.”

“It’s real,” she replied, pressing her lips to his neck. “I’m real. We’re real.”

He shuddered, all but running up a flight of stairs. There was no reaction when his wing clipped a door frame nor did he say a word when he had to use his nice shoe to slam his bedroom door shut. Gwyn wasn’t given the opportunity to really look around his space, either—though it seemed sparse and filled with dark, moody colors. 

Azriel had her on the bed, his own body over top her own before she could exhale the breath she’d just taken. 

“Tell me to stop,” he said, the maddening male. She would have told him she didn’t want him to, but he was kissing her again, his burning lips all but bruising her own. Drawing a leg up, Gwyn could line up their otherwise mismatched bodies so he was pressed exactly where she wanted him. 

They were going to do this. She wanted to do this. When she managed to take a breath, the taste of blood faint against her tongue, she rasped, “Take this off.”

Azriel was on his knees in a moment, shucking off his jacket before all but ripping off his shirt, too. There in the dark with nothing but silvery moonlight to illuminate him, Gwyn was allowed to really look at him. 

He didn’t move, a lock of dark hair half obscuring the intensity of his gaze. “All of it,” she decided before she lost her nerve. 

Azriel cocked his head, his lips pursed as though he’d tell her no.

“Please,” she added.

Azriel groaned again, softer this time. Somewhere in the house, a door slammed closed and a mingling of male and female voices rose like music, a soothing hum in the background as Azriel slid off the bed entirely.

Wings tucked tightly against his toned back, he quietly locked his door before turning back to her. “We don’t have to,” he said, his fingers hovering over the laces of his pants. Gwyn had a suspicion Azriel would spend the next century saying this and she’d spend the next century  reassuring him that she wanted all of it. All of him.

Maybe he’d realize in the morning when she snuck into the kitchen and begged the house for his favorite meal. She had no idea what it was, but surely the magic that governed this place did? Would he eat it from her hands? Or would he balk, certain this was just another dream?

“I know,” she said, leaning up on her elbows. “Take it all off, anyway.”

Gwyn knew what Azriel was wondering but her past was murky—forgotten in the dark, the ugly replaced with his easy, unassuming beauty. Still, she held her breath as he undressed entirely, drinking in the sight of him. This was the male she’d knocked to the ground, the very same that could kill another person without a second thought.

Underneath the thick, armored leathers and weapons lay just a male made of skin and bone. Gwyn’s eyes traced the tattoos adorning his shoulders and chest, the intricate swirls snaking up his neck and vanishing behind his back. Every inch of him was muscled, softer now that he was relaxed and still present just below the warm brown of his flesh.

And between his legs…

Gwyn giggled. She couldn’t help herself. It was so big—surely they weren’t supposed to be that large? That thick? There was an air of male pride shimmering around him, his legs spread a little wider as if to say, drink it all in. 

“Are you laughing at me?” he asked, his voice a dark, teasing growl. Prowling forward, Gwyn’s heart spiked loud enough he must have heard.

“I wasn’t prepared for…” For what? For him? Azriel was so quiet, so unassuming…she just assumed if he had all that going on he’d brag a little more? Swagger about the way Cassian always was? 

“I’d be a poor mate if I left you wanting,” he replied, his eyes glazed over once his knees hit the edge of the bed. Perhaps it was the sight of her, still dressed, scrambling on her hands and knees so she could crawl toward him. She just wanted to touch, to feel if his cock was as hard as it looked. 

Azriel sucked in a breath when her fingers curled around the base of his shaft, just barely touching. Looking up, she murmured, “Is this what you like?”

“I like you,” he replied, scooping up her hair in his hands as Gwyn stroked him experimentally. He choked out a sound, his heartbeat thudding in her ears. She supposed that was her answer—he liked the way she touched him.

Pride filled her chest knowing she could please her mate, even with something as simple as touching him. Gwyn stroked again, letting her wrist twist at the end as her eyes refused to leave his face.

“Gods,” he whispered, his wings tightening against his back. “I’ve imagined…Gwyn…”

She was allowed a third pass before he pushed her back, her clothes pulled off her body so quickly all she managed was to lift her hips and raise her arms. 

“Do you know how many nights I’ve laid in this exact bed and imagined you just like this?” Azriel began, his voice a dark, sultry whisper. “Splayed out…naked…undone?”

“No,” she squeaked out in response, half embarrassed to be undressed before him. Azriel’s gaze burned against her skin, warming a path from her collarbone to her thighs. 

“Would you like to know what I dream about at night?” he questioned, sinking to his knees so he was eye level with the edge of the bed. 

Arousal ribboned through her, making a fool out of her. “Yes,” she replied, strangely excited to be the object of this man’s fantasies. 

Strong, scarred fingers curled around her thighs, pushing them wider before hooking them over his shoulders. He was staring at her cunt, now, studying her like she was some priceless piece of art. 

“I dream of tasting you,” Azriel breathed, the warmth of his breath fanning against her. Gwyn squirmed when he kissed her inner thigh—the left, and then the right—before using his tongue to lightly take that first taste he’d been dreaming of. Gwyn might have asked him how he liked it had it not felt so good. 

Besides, she knew he liked it—Azriel groaned loudly, spreading her apart wider with his fingers so he could taste her everywhere. Gone was his slow exploration, his desire to take his time. All of it had been replaced with the animal kneeling between her legs, licking and touching her cunt like his life depended on it. 

All traces of her embarrassment evaporated, leaving only instinct behind. Gwyn surrendered to the urge, letting desire wash over her until it was all she knew. “Don’t stop,” she breathed, well aware he probably couldn’t. 

Azriel pushed a finger into her gently, moaning at whatever he felt. Gwyn hadn’t considered what it would feel like to share space with him—to feel him inside her own body but now…

“Az,” she panted, her hips rolling against his mouth and hand. She wanted him to stop licking, to replace his fingers with his cock. Heat was building in her chest beyond simple arousal, heavy like a chain. 

Unbreakable.

A bond. A real thread she could follow straight to the male between her legs. It reverberated and then snapped just as Azriel sucked her clit into his mouth, eliciting a scream that was half his name. Could he feel it too? No—his had snapped months ago and he’d just been living with it.

Gwyn couldn’t see how. If she didn’t have him right that second she might go insane. Reaching for his powerful biceps, Gwyn tried to pull him off her but the waves of pleasure made her hands shake. 

“Az,” she tried again, his name a breathy moan against her lips. Her hips moved of their own accord, grinding against him in what must have seemed like encouragement to keep going. Maybe it was—she didn’t try very hard to get him off her.

Azriel managed a third finger, a whine slipping from his throat at the effort. Gwyn just barely registered any of it, her body jerking a second time from pleasure so bright and heady she could have died from it. It was too much—Gwyn was burning, was in free-fall with no one to catch her.

Digging her nails into his skin, she yanked at him. Azriel emerged, lips wet and eyes wild. “Please,” she heard herself saying, the magic words that, apparently, could convince him to do anything she wanted. “I need you.”

His fingers were wet as they skimmed the side of her body, palm grasping her breast before his lips found hers. He tasted sweet and she supposed it was herself, truly, she was tasting on his tongue. He was hurried, his desperation making him sloppy. When his teeth clashed with her own, nipping the sensitive skin of her bottom lip, Gwyn had enough.

“Az—”

“Don’t beg me,” he breathed, pressing his forehead against her own. Caressing her cheek, Azriel added, “I’ll do whatever you want. You don’t have to beg.”

“I feel it,” she replied, running her hand up and down his spine. “It’s a real thread.”

Azriel exhaled with relief, a smile ghosting his pretty face. Whispering something that sounded like gratitude toward the gods, he adjusted his body until she felt the blunt head of his cock pressed against her. How had he stood it? The waiting, the wanting, the utter need that Gwyn was all but drowning in. If they didn’t do this, she thought she might die from it. 

“You’ll tell me if I hurt you.” It wasn’t a request, though Gwyn had no intention of telling him anything. She expected a little pain, expected little pleasure. Why else had he used his mouth first? 

Gwyn had read enough books to know that there was blood and pain and so when Azriel slid himself an inch into her, she braced herself against him, her nails digging into his biceps. She could feel his eyes on her, searching for even a hint of discomfort. There was something reassuring about knowing he’d stop if she wanted. That he cared if she enjoyed herself. 

Gwyn didn’t need a book to know not all males cared about such things.

Azriel took his time—like he knew he had eons of it, that he didn’t have to rush. Gwyn loved him for it, eyes burning with unshed tears at the thought. She’d tell him all this later, when they’d had a chance to breathe and eat and really talk about everything that had otherwise been left unsaid. Instead she dragged her lips down his neck and focused on the feeling of his cock in her body, pushing further and further without any of the accompanying pain she’d expected.

She was slick enough that he felt less like an intrusion and more like a welcomed guest, and once he’d seated himself entirely, it seemed as though they’d been made like two puzzle pieces destined to fit. 

It took a moment to get used to the stretch, to breathe despite the feeling of fullness. Azriel gave it to her instinctively, as if he knew exactly what she both wanted and needed. There was that same sense of I have all the time in the world, despite her knowing he was desperate. A bead of sweat slid from his temple, rolling down his neck and his arms shook from restraint.

He didn’t move. 

Not until her mouth made its way to his collarbone and she whispered, “Give me more.” He groaned loud enough to shatter the silence, pulling himself out with a slowness that bordered on madness. 

“You’re so wet,” he whispered, burying his face into her neck. “I’m losing my mind.”

She couldn’t help the exhaled smile, raking her fingers through his hair. “Did you dream of this, too?”

“No,” he admitted with a grunt, sliding his cock back into her body. “I didn’t dare.”

“Why?”

“Couldn’t,” he managed, thrusting again with a little more intensity. “Would have gone crazy from wanting you. Surprised you couldn’t smell it on me.”

As if she would have known what she was smelling. There was no point in telling him so—not as Azriel confessed the depths of his devotion, the lengths he’d gone to give her time, space, and whatever else she’d wanted. Would he have continued to do so forever? 

Gwyn kissed his cheek. “I want you. I want this.”

He groaned again, sliding his hand between their otherwise flushed bodies to rub at her still swollen clit. She’d been half distracted by his words to pay attention to her body but right then, when his thumb began making tight circles, Gwyn was pulled back under the depths of shadowed darkness, half consumed by the male laying on top of her. 

Their mouths met, messy and unrestrained. Strange how kissing merely heightened the pleasure coiling through her—Gwyn wouldn’t have guessed that. In her books, everything was so neat and clinical. They kissed, they touched, they fucked with nothing in between. In real life, sex was messier, more fluid. Or maybe she and Azriel merely had more passion than the people in her stories.

Those love stories had once brought her such joy. Now they seemed dimmed in comparison to what was happening to her and her own feelings. 

“I need to feel you come,” he whispered, betraying how close he must have been. Gwyn felt the same way. She needed to feel him, needed to see him wholly unraveled. All because of her—no one else was allowed to know what he sounded like, what he looked like. They got control, they got the ice but she got the heat, the impulsivity—everything he was, everything he’d ever been. 

Gwyn came to the thought of that future, tightening around him as her back arched her into his chest, offering very little give. Azriel kissed her, swallowing the sound of her moans greedily. They belonged to him, anyway. 

He came mere seconds later, his own noise of pleasure delightfully loud for a male that was so often silent. Gwyn kept herself wrapped tight around him, arms winding against his neck, her teeth sinking into his shoulder. His pumping was erratic, uncontrolled and a little desperate. Gwyn was obsessed with this side of him—wanted more of it.

Azriel didn’t withdraw when he was done, his heart thudding against her breast. “It’s not enough, is it?” she whispered, thinking they both ought to feel sated. She didn’t. In her books, the heroine was always spent, the hero falling asleep not long after. The pair would wake in each other's arms, content and glowing from the night before.

Gwyn wanted to shove him to the floor and climb atop him. Wanted to hear him beg, too—wanted more of the whimpering, the groaning and everything in between.

“It was never going to be,” he panted, kissing her softly. 

“How long will it last?” she wondered, brushing a damp lock of hair from his face.

“Eternity, I imagine,” he replied, his eyes burning with that same unflinching intensity. “For me, at least.”

Gwyn’s heart exploded, racing in her throat. “Are you hungry?” she whispered, deciding she couldn’t wait for the morning. She wanted to do this right now. Wanted him to know that this meant something to her, even if she was scared, too. 

Azriel went still. “There’s no rush—”

“That’s yes or no, Azriel.”

A smile broke over his face. “Starving,” he admitted in that dark, sultry voice. 

“You have to get up,” she reminded him, pushing half-heartedly at his shoulder. Azriel lowered his mouth for another kiss.

“In a minute.”

Strange how a minute could stretch.

Into lifetimes, even.

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

cowboy r def has hidden talent playing the acoustic guitar frfr

Guys stop guessing all of my secret ideas 😭 you're making it really hard to surprise you lmao! I'm just kidding send in all the asks aha!

Warnings: hints to kissing? That's literally it, oh and some bad language at the end.

Taglist: @xweirdo101x @xdark-acadamiax @ara-a-bird @heidss @chubbyboyinflannel @pendragon-writes @migwayne @bigolgay @technikerin23 @supercriminalbean @honestlycasualarcade @caffeine-mess @1s3v3n1 @oddmiles @kevyeen @stealing-kneecaps @criminalskies @woodandwaxwings @wizardmon3 @aphroditeslovr @ducks118 @azeal-peal @13thdoctor-run @introvertpan84 @goth-boi-atlas @iliketozoneout @chaosofmanyfandoms @logicalhorror @luvfornick @prmsn-17 @pinxeajin

"Can you play?" JJ asked, holding the guitar up.

"You mean you haven't heard him play?" Aden asked with a grin, "Well now he just needs to play," Aden turned to you with a grin.

"Aden, she doesn't want to hear me-"

"Go on then!" JJ turned to you with a grin, placing the guitar in your hands.

You looked at her for a moment before nodding slightly, "Okay, okay fine..." You looked down at the guitar before you look back up, "Any some requests?"

JJ rolled her eyes, "Um... How about Taylor Swift?" She teased, jaw dropped slightly when you nodded. "Wait seriously? You know how to play Taylor Swift songs?"

"Obviously." You answered.

"He's such a Swiftie it hurts," Aden snorted.

You rolled your eyes at him as you got comfortable, holding the base of the guitar on your thigh, you left hand gently holding the neck.

"Now I don't play for just anyone, so yall should feel blessed, a'right?"

JJ rolls her eyes, "Stop stalling,"

"Ma'am I would never. But I feel like this is probably a good place to discuss this-"

"Play the damn thing!" Aden groans.

"Hey, hey, kid, what happened to respectin' your elders?"

"I'm about to become an elder if you don't hurry up," He snaps and you struggle to maintain a straight face.

Naturally, you began to play Love Story (since it was one of the best Taylor Swift songs to date - no further comments). You don't look up - not wanting to see your brother's shit eating grin or JJ's facial expressions. You didn't want to know whether or not she liked it until you had finished playing, otherwise it would put you off.

When the song's finished, you look back at the pair of them, slightly sheepish.

"Wow, you're really good..." JJ said with a smile.

"She's being nice, you're actually shit." Aden chimed.

You snort slightly, "Hilarious. Watch your language, and go do your homework."

"You only want me to go so you can kiss your girlfriend," Aden chimes, grinning when both you and JJ flush. "God, you're like a pair of teenagers!"

"Sorry 'bout him,"

"I hope he was right though..." She said with a small smile.

"Miss Jareau, how scandalous," You grin, leaning in.

[hugshughes]

my tears ricochet R. McGroarty

Rutger McGroarty x fem!reader

synopsis - Based on “my tears ricochet” by Tay obvs. Reader is on the umich soccer team and when they lose the NCAA championship game, and Rutger is there, reader is confused and sad in a way that he would come to this game after their terrible breakup.

wc - 3.0k!

contains - reader is on the umich soccer team! lightly edited! angst!!!!!!!! then a sprinkle of fluff. reader has a panic attack and has trouble breathing, crying, descriptions of a terrible breakup, kissing, happy ending, lmk!

an - this was probably the hardest one so far, other than the last great american dynasty, which i promise is coming soon! ALSO. 200 FOLLOWERS????? THANK U GUYS! I swear I’m trying to speed up the process of writing these but it’s harder than I thought. I've been getting more requests than usual lately! You guys are all so cute btw. I've gotten multiple about Behind My Back with Nolan part 2 and it's on the way! I'm so slow at writing smut. Anyways hope you enjoyyyy!

-

we gather here, we line up, weepin’ in a sunlit room. and if i’m on fire, you’ll be made of ashes too.

The final whistle blew, the game was over. You crouched to the ground, palm flat on the field as you wept. You could barely breathe as the UNC team flooded the field, screaming in victory, group-hugging 10 feet from you. 4-3 in overtime. You dropped to sit on the ground, arms loosely wrapped around your knees as you stared at the crowd.

The sea of Carolina blue jumping up and down, smiling, shouting. The motionless pit of maize and navy, crying, grief, disappointment. In you. They’re all disappointed in you, that’s what you tell yourself.

Your best friend sits next to you, enveloping you in a hug, you hear her whimpers, you feel her tears.

“I’m so sorry.”

She shook her head at you, hugging you tighter than ever before pulling away, holding your face, wiping your cheeks.

“No, don’t say that. This isn’t your fault. Okay? It isn’t. You scored 2 of our goals tonight, and you just did so good okay? This isn’t your fault.”

You looked at the ground, trying to catch your breath. You’re only a sophomore, you’ll have more championships to win. She didn’t though, she was a senior.

“This was just your last game, and I just- I let you down and coach and-”

“Honey, it’s okay. I’ll be okay. You cannot blame this game just on you.”

You hesitantly nod, letting her help you to your feet. The rest of your team is hugging, some crying, some seething, some trying to smile.

You run to your coach, she opens her arms wide to hug you. She’s trying to smile, trying to tell you that it’s okay as you heave out the word sorry over and over, sobbing as you try to catch your breath, to no avail.

Your chest heaves as you try to breathe, but nothing is going in or out, you’re about to have a panic attack. You grip your jersey where your heart is, the navy material soiled from tears and sweat. Your coach lets out a curse as she realizes what’s going on, your best friend sees you, running over, holding your arms, trying to calm you down.

You can’t, you were warm before, but now it’s like you’re suffocating.

“I- I can’t! Fuck, I-”

The worse you cry the less you can breathe, but the less you’re breathing the more you’re crying.

Your trainer runs over, hand on your back as she urges you off to the sidelines. You know there are dozens of cameras on you, making everything ten times worse.

It’s time for you guys to shake hands but instead, you are urged off the field, down through the tunnel, and to the locker rooms. They sit you down in your designated stall, offering water, fanning you with random papers, holding your hands, everything as you start to breathe again. When you’re finally steadily breathing again, you feel embarrassed.

“I’m so sorry! Shit- I just-”

They just shush you, hugging you tight. You, as the star player of Michigan Women’s Soccer are informed you’re doing press with your best friend, the captain, now. You almost cry again, you know someone is bound to ask about your leaving the field early.

But here you are, sitting next to your best friend, holding hands under the table for some form of stability as you look at the reporters and flashing cameras in front of you, fans behind them.

Your best friend answers the majority of the first chunk of questions, you only chiming in a few times. Your name is called by a reporter, a question just for you.

“Would you like to comment on what happened with your early departure after the game?”

You tense, your best friend’s hold on your hand tightens, comforting you as much as possible.

“Oh um, yeah. So uh, I was having some trouble breathing and stuff and I needed to go back to the locker room. I apologize if I came across as rude to any of the UNC girls, I still definitely want to congratulate them.”

The reporter nods, and you get sad smiles from almost everyone you can see. You get another question about your performance.

“I think I definitely could’ve played better, I’m disappointed in my performance tonight, I’ve apologized to teammates and coaches. I did as well as I could in the moment, Carolina is a really talented group of girls. I-”

You see him, Rutger fucking McGroaty, standing at the back of the group, Ethan, Mark, Dylan, and a few other hockey players with him. Your voice catches, and your mind is blank.

even on my worst day, did i deserve, babe, all the hell you gave me? ‘cause i loved you, i swear i loved you. ‘til my dying day.

The eye contact is full of pain, you feel your heart stutter. Your breathing that had finally started evening out is suddenly picking back up, but also somehow slowing down? It just, hurts. Why was he here? Why would he do that to you?

What was he trying to do? Was he trying to see you? Was he just trying to watch the game?

You looked to your coach, the attention of the reporters on your best friend, with pleading eyes. She nods for you to leave, and you silently thank her, slipping out of the seat and discreetly exiting the room, having to walk right by the guys, and some fans along the way. You wave at a little girl dressed head to toe in maize and blue, your jersey adorning her little body.

You crouched down next to her, letting her grab your hand.

“Hi sweetheart, how are you doing?”

She smiles brightly, making your heart swell. She has your number drawn out on her cheek, and a Michigan temporary tattoo on the other.

“I’m good! It was fun watching you play, even if you couldn’t win. I saw you crying, are you okay? You still did really really awesome, even my brother thinks so!”

She gestures to her slightly older brother, a boy who looked about 8.

“Oh yeah, I’ll be okay. Well sweetheart, if you’d like it, I would love to sign your jersey.”

Her face lights up, she squeals and hugs you, which you accept. She turns around and you sign right next to your number on her maize jersey. She thanks you and squeezes your hand while taking a picture with you. You’re finishing up with them when her brother almost shouts.

“Are those the Mich hockey guys?”

You freeze, eyes darting from the ground to the little boy and then up to Rutger's shocked face. Rutger quickly puts his fan persona on, greeting the kids.

'cause i loved you, i swear i loved you. 'til my dying day.

You realize you're position, frozen and staring at Rutger in front of all these people, and you quickly turn to go. You get about ten feet when you hear someone quietly shout your name, then twice. Someone, being Rutger. You didn't wanna talk to him. You really did want to talk to him, you just knew you couldn't.

You are in the tunnel at this point, striding a few more feet to make sure no one can see you before stopping when he says your name once again. When you turn around he stares at you silently, his eyes filled with hurt. You wish you could run into his arms, but you can't, you can't.

i didn't have it in myself to go with grace, and you're the hero flying around, saving face. and if i'm dead to you why are you at the wake?

"What are you doing here Rut?"

You could feel the tears lining your eyes, pushing to break past your waterline. He has the same tears, which hurt you even more.

"I'm sorry."

That you lost? That he came here? That he called for you? That he broke your heart?

"For what, Rutger?"

The tears were close to spilling for both of you. He lets out a shaky exhale, wiping his nose and sniffling.

"I- Um, everything? I just, I'm sorry."

cursing my name, wishing i stayed. look at how my tears ricochet.

You didn't know what to do. Part of you was about to throw yourself into his arms while another part was about to sprint as far away from him as you could.

He stood there, quickly wiping a tear that fell. In this moment, losing the game was the farthest thing from your mind. Everything in your mind was just completely overwhelmed with him. At one point he was everything to you, you knew in part of you he still was.

we gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean. some to throw, some to make a diamond ring.

When you and Rutger had broken up, it had been terrible for both of you. Rutger wasn't allowed to be alone afterward for two weeks, not that you knew that, his friends wanted to tell you and try to get you back to him but he wouldn't let them. He was too embarrassed by the idea. His friends begging for you for him because he couldn't handle a breakup? Please. What Rutger doesn't know is that you would've run straight back to him if you'd known. He was your lifeline.

Your relationship was like a dream, you'd started dating in July of 2022 and broke up the next May. You guys were inseparable, in a cute way. You guys were always there for each other, no matter what. But out of nowhere, in April, Rutger started freaking out about everything happening in his life. The team had just lost the frozen four, and he was just hurt from that and he was not himself. Even weeks after, when the other boys had seemingly gotten over it, he couldn't seem to shake the feeling in his chest.

The feeling started affecting other parts of his life, too. Specifically, your relationship. He'd become way cut off from you, and a lot more mean. It went on for three weeks before you broke up with him. You just couldn't keep trying when you were getting nothing back, even though it hurt you so badly to do it.

you know i didn't want to have to haunt you. but what a ghostly scene. you wear the same jewels that i gave you, as you bury me.

You rub your eyes before looking up from the ground to him, and then you see it. The ring he once gave you on a chain around his neck. He'd kept it when you gave it back to him.

You remember every detail about the night he gave you that ring. Where he'd taken you, how he held you in the cold of February nights in Ann Arbor. You remember his confession of love to you. How he was worried you'd think he was proposing, how he shakily opened the ring box when you got back to his room, and how he said he wanted to give it to you in your scenic snowy walk through a local park but had gotten too nervous. You remember how you kissed him, and how he brought tears to your eyes.

i didn't have it in myself to go with grace. 'cause when i'd fight, you used to tell me i was brave. and if i'm dead to you why are you at the wake? cursing my name, wishing i stayed. look at how my tears ricochet.

Him being here, crying, apologizing, you losing the game, everything was just so much, but when you looked into his eyes he was still your everything. Your boy, the one that made you fall in love with every part of him, every crack and crevice, every flaw. He was still yours, no matter if you were together or apart. And you were his too, you knew that, you both did.

You can't imagine what your friends would think if you'd told them how close you were to kissing Rutger right now. They would never believe you, not after the months you spent trying oh so hard to convince yourself you were better off without him, no matter how false that statement was.

You knew you would need him, always did. He didn't know that though, when he would stalk your social media all summer, seeing you post in your little white linen dresses, having fun at the beach with your friends, he convinced himself he'd never get another chance with you. And you knew that if he tried hard enough, he could completely win you back, 100 times over.

and i can go anywhere i want, anywhere i want, just not home. and you can aim for my heart, go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones.

He was your safe haven, whenever you were with him everything was just good, you didn't have to worry about anything with him, he wouldn't let you. He was your person.

You just stared at him, thoughts running a thousand miles per minute. You wanted him, you needed him. You knew it, too. He was always gonna be the only man that ever came to mind when you heard a love song by Taylor Swift, the only man you thought of when you saw a husband and wife with a little baby on your for you page, the only one.

i didn't have it in myself to go with grace.

He sniffled again, and you practically lunged at him, wrapping your arms around his neck and tucking your head into the crook of his neck. You started to cry again as his arms went around your hips, holding you so tightly. He was so warm, he smelled so good, he was definitely home for you if you had one. You felt his tears fall onto the base of your neck. He was mumbling i love yous and i'm sorrys like prayers. You just said the three words back, telling him it was okay because you knew it would be. As long as you had him.

and so the battleships will sink beneath the waves. you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same. cursing my name, wishing i stayed.

You pulled away from him, just a little, his tight hold on you barely let up, he couldn't let you go. You cupped his cheeks with your hands, looking into his now bloodshot, but otherwise beautiful blue eyes. You giggled, this was so crazy, you couldn't even believe it. Your amusement at the situation must've made Rutger feel embarrassed because he shook his head from your hold and buried his head into your neck. You could see his rose tinted ears. You ran your hands through his hair.

You had not the slightest idea what this meant for you two, but it definitely felt right, like you were whole again. You knew that he would come back to your life, you always felt it. And you knew you guys were gonna have to have a serious long talk about everything, but right now it just felt so good to take solace in him, acting like you were never broken up.

you turned into your worst fears. and you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain. crossing out the good years.

If you knew one thing, it was that Rutger McGroaty was your boy, and you were his girl. No matter how much time kept you apart you'd always find each other again. You loved him, too much to lose him. Especially now that you were both given another chance.

"Rut?"

He moved his head a little, adjusting his arms around your hips, grumbling out an 'mhm?'

"I'm really happy you're here."

He came out of hiding at that, smiling at you, you smiled back, partially because of how cute he looked with slightly puffy eyes and rosy cheeks.

"For real?"

You gave him a pointed look, 'duh', written all over your features. He smiled brighter, his perfect teeth on display, oh you so hoped he would never experience any teeth loss during his hockey career, even though he'd probably look fucking adorable.

"I love you. I'm not letting you down ever again, I promise. I'm gonna be perfect, okay?"

You looked at him like he had just hung the stars one by one. You shook your head mumbling something about how you loved him so much and he'd never let you down and he was already perfect in your book before pulling him into a kiss. He smiled so hard into the kiss, and so did you.

Even though you'd just lost one of the most important soccer games in your life, you'd just won someone that was more important than any soccer trophy you could ever receive.

and you're cursing my name, wishing i stayed. look at how my tears ricochet.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Hi! Sorry if this is a dumb question, but what do you know about reusable covid-safe masks? I've never stopped wearing the fabric masks, but I'd like to step up my protection. I'm also just worried about all the trash single-use masks will produce -- I want to be environmentally responsible too -- but a lot of mask resources don't seem to specify much on reusability/washability. I'd be really grateful for anything you can send my way.

First off, reusable filters don't offer enough protection. You need at least n95 rated material, and washing it breaks it down and removes its electrostatic charge, rendering it less protective. There's no 100% earthy-crunchy green way to give yourself adequate covid protection. What elastomeric masks do, however, is reduce the amount of waste in reducing filter size. This also brings the cost of filters down in most cases. Some companies exist that recycle masks too, but I only have links Canadian examples and I don't know where you are.

There's a lot of elastomeric masks out there. 3M has over 3 dozen n95 or p100 models to choose from. There's even forced-air options if you wanna go for the absolute best protection, but in all but the highest risk and research covid scenarios, it's major overkill.

Because I don't know you or your measurements, I can't tell you what mask will 100% fit you. Personally, my everyday wear is a big-nose model Flo Mask, and for high risk scenarios, I break out my MSA Advantage 300. There's dozens of models and levels of protection out there ranging from full face, forced air respirators to the thong-like B99 B2 that only barely covers my mouth and nose. The zero covid reddit might be a great place to ask people for recommendations based upon your concerns with fitting an elastomeric to your specific face type: low/high bridge, shallow/chubby cheeks, and chin size all impact which elastomeric is likely to get and keep a good seal in use. You might have to buy 2 or 3 before you find *the one* is a problem you may encounter, but of all the elastomerics I've seen, Flo Mask has the best general fit and would be a good starting point.

Basically, even disposable masks will prevent you using even more resources and plastics and such by keeping you healthy and out of the hospital. Someone who uses and throws away 2 or 4 masks every couple weeks (depending on your specific needs, could be a little more if you like sweat at work a lot or something) is far less impact than a ICU stay for covid. Also, you could help prevent covid *and* offset everyone's mask waste by eliminating Taylor Swift since she flies two private jets to all her events which spread more covid than any other superspreader event. (For legal reasons, I am joking)

[auras-moonstone]

mad woman — ethan landry (part four)

word count: 3,001

based on: mad woman by taylor swift

pairing: gf!ethan landry x gf!fem!reader

summary: the kirsch family and y/n set the details for the attack, and ethan does not agree with y/n’s suggestion.

author's note: this is my longest chapter yet... and my personal favourite. hope you enjoy it! thanks for all the love this series is receiving, it warms my heart <3.

previous part ; next part

MINDY TEXTED THE GROUP TO MEET HER AT THE PARK. They all knew what the meeting was about—the horror fanatic was about to revise the rules with them and possibly share her own list of suspects. Y/N sat next to Ethan after sending him a cheeky smile. The girl’s presence made him felt a bit nervous after the almost kiss of the previous night.

"Okay nerds, listen up” Mindy started “As terrifying as this all is, I'm actually glad I get a chance to redeem myself for not calling the killers last time".

The girl started explaining the rules of a continuing franchise, and then proceeded to expose the suspects.

“… That means it's not just the friend group, any of us could go at any time. Especially Sam and Tara".

"Wait. Any of us?" asked Ethan. "Does- Am I in the friend group?".

"Well, you are here right now, aren’t you?” Y/N said.

"Am I, like, one of the targets?" he asked her, and she nodded. "Am I gonna die a virgin?".

Y/N looked at him with wide eyes and mouth partially open. Was that part of the innocent act or was he really a virgin? No way, right? He was too hot. "First, was that information needed? Second, no. Don't you know the rules? If you don't lose your virginity, you're safe".

"I feel like a proud mother" Mindy said, acting as if she was cleaning her tears. "Now, onto our current suspects... Ethan, the shy, dorky guy who nobody suspects because he's so shy and dorky".

"Okay, wait. Why am I on the suspect list? Because I'm randomly Chad's roommate?" he said, moving his arms frenetically.

"Roommate lotteries can be junked. You could have fixed it to get next to us" argued Mindy. Ethan rolled his eyes. Then Mindy looked at Y/N “Y/N”.

“Wait, really?” she asked, acting surprised.

“Look, I’m sorry but you are Amber’s sister. You have a solid motive” Mindy said pursing her lips. A part of her felt bad for accusing her friend, because she really loved her and she didn’t think she was really capable of murder. But at the same time she couldn’t help but distrust her a little.

Seeing Y/N’s crestfallen expression, Sam decided to intervene “Mindy, no. That doesn’t mean anything. I am Billy’s daughter and I’m no murderer”.

“Yes, exactly. Leave her out of this” Tara agreed. Y/N sent the sisters a fake grateful look.

“I’m just exposing the possibilities. I’m almost sure she isn’t the killer” Mindy said.

“It’s okay, Minds. I get where you are coming from” she smiled sadly. Ethan was impressed by her acting abilities.

The horror expert continue throwing accusations at Quinn and even at her own girlfriend.

"Wait, wait, wait. What about you guys?" Ethan asked, pointing at the original members.

"I mean, I think it's pretty safe to rule out the four of us who went through this last year in Woodsboro" Mindy said.

"Agreed" said Chad.

"Um, not agreed. What if the trauma you all went through caused one or five more of you to snap?" Quinn exposed her view.

"Yeah, or the fame you got from the killings made you thirsty for more" continued Ethan. “I mean some of the online theories about Sam are a bit…”

“Don’t you fucking dare” Tara cut him off harshly. Y/N clenched her jaw at the tone the girl gave him.

“I mean, let’s face it. If we are suspects then you are all suspects” Anika said.

“And let’s stop this conversation right here before the tension becomes too much” Y/N said, standing up. “I have maths” she groaned.

“Let’s go. I have it too” Ethan said, grabbing her bag.

“What a gentleman” she laughed. The group exchanged glances, as if they were silently asking the other if they were seeing the same thing.

“There is no way Ethan can pull Y/N off” Mindy said, watching them have a conversation as they walk away.

“Minds, are you kidding me? They have been eye-fucking each other since yesterday” Chad said.

“I think he is good for her” Tara said.

“And I think she’s too god for him” Mindy answered.

“Don’t be like that” Tara told her “She looks happier since they started talking, didn’t you notice?”.

“Well, she better not get too attached because he has killer printed all over his forehead” Mindy said.

THE KIRSCH FAMILY AND Y/N REUNITED AT THE OFFICER’S HOUSE. The second attack was taking place that night, and they were setting the details.

“I should be there. I’m not on the top of their list, but if I’m not with them tonight, they won’t trust me anymore” Y/N suggested.

“But if you survive with no wound at all, it will also be suspicious” Ethan said.

“Then, I will have to get stabbed or slashed” Y/N shrugged.

“Are you hearing yourself?” Ethan asked in disbelief.

Y/N was touched by his concern, but it was not time for softness “I’m not telling you to stab me in the heart, Ethan. Just hurt me in some safe place, like shoulder or a slash in the stomach”.

“Are you sure? He’ll be on the run. It’s dangerous” Bailey told her.

“I’m sure” she nodded. Ethan sighed, not liking the idea at all, especially since he would be the one hurting her. “Eth, stop it. I’ll be fine” she assured him.

“We are doing this for Richie and Amber, there is no time for hesitation or feelings, Ethan. You better not mess it up” his father told him.

Now, Y/N was really glad Bailey let her join the plan, but she wanted to screamed at him every time he treated his son that way. She hated when he underestimated Ethan.

“Hey, look at me” Y/N told him as they were walking to her apartment. Quinn was a few feet away from them, wanting to give the two teenagers some space. “Don’t listen to him, okay? You are going to do well. I trust you”.

“It’s not about what he said, Y/N/N. I don’t want to hurt you” he frowned. She opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off “I know, I know you are okay with that and it’s the most convenient thing, but still, I am the one who has to do it, okay? And I can’t help feeling guilty, because hurting you it’s the last thing I want to do”.

Y/N caressed his cheeks softly, looking at him with pure adoration “I don’t know if it’s too soon to say something like this or what, but you became my safe place, Ethan. Ever since Amber died, I haven’t been able to feel anything but emptiness and loneliness. And then you came and absolutely changed everything. So, if I suggested you hurting me it’s because I trust you doing it, okay? But I understand your point. I’m sorry if I didn’t take your feelings into consideration. You don’t have to do it, I’ll find another way to maintain their trust”.

Ethan though about it and then sighed in defeat. “No… I know how important this plan is for you, and if you think hurting you is necessary, I’ll do it. I just want to apologize in advance”.

Y/N smiled and hugged him, her arms tight around his neck while he hugged her by the waist, pushing her against him. After a couple of seconds, they stepped back and pressed their foreheads together.

“What’s taking you so lo-“ Quinn stopped at the sight of their closeness “Fuck, I have the worst timings” she scoffed.

Ethan and Y/N laughed. There was still time for them to kiss, now they had much more important things to do. Besides, having a first kiss in the middle of the stinky and crowded streets of New York, was everything but romantic.

MINDY AND Y/N WERE SETTING THE TABLE AS TARA AND CHAD TALKED IN THE KITCHEN. Anika was watching TV on the living room and Quinn was in her room with her new guy. Poor man, he has no idea what was coming to him, and neither did the rest of the group.

“Didn’t you have Econ with Ethan today?” Mindy asked.

“Yeah, but I’m not really in the mood for that stupid class when there is a murderer on the loose” she answered, and Mindy nodded in understanding “And he offered to take notes for me, so I took the chance”.

“Of course he did” she scoffed, making Y/N look at her confused “Oh, come on, no one is that sweet and gentlemanly. It’s all an act!”.

“Mindy, come on. Stop it” Y/N sighed. “He really is sweet, and kind and funny. I like being around him. Please stop making him uncomfortable”.

Mindy put her hand on the girl’s shoulder “Y/N/N, you are way too oblivious and innocent when it comes to these types of things. That’s why I’m here, to open your eyes! There is something wrong with Ethan”.

“Minds, please drop it. I trust him, okay? And until we have solid proof Ethan is the killer, you should stop treat him as such. It’s not fair” she told her.

Mindy put her arms up in surrender “Fine. I’ll stop bugging your boyfriend”.

“He’s not my boyfriend” she blushed.

“Not yet. And if you are waiting for him to make a move you are going to get tired. I’m sorry, but that boy is a coward. He’ll never have the guts to do it” Mindy shrugged.

Y/N had to dig her nails tightly into the palm of her hand, because the impulse that came over her to grab the knife that was laying on the table and plunge it into Mindy’s throat was almost uncontrollable. The way she talked about Ethan infuriated her, and she didn’t know how much longer she would be able to tolerate it. She internally begged Ethan to finally get rid of her tonight.

"Guys!" Anika's voice was heard from the living room, pulling Y/N out of her thoughts "What the hell?".

The group gathered around the TV to hear the news. The reporter was informing that Sam’s therapist had been killed, and she was the prime suspect. They also showed the video of Sam fighting the random girl on the street the night of the party. The video was out of context, making her seem like a violent person. And they even brought up the theory that she was behind the Woodsboro killings of the past year.

Sam turned the TV off and went to sit on the table. Y/N watched the scene in front of her—Sam crying, while the rest of the group tried to comfort her—and serotonin went through her veins. She loved seeing them suffer, being scared, and the night wasn’t even over. The worse was yet to come.

As if on cue, weird noises started coming from Quinn’s room, indicating show was about to start. They all made fun of it, thinking it was just the roommate and her hookup. But then, the laughter came to a stop when the six phones sounded at the same time. They opened their text to find a photo of Quinn, with Ghostface behind her, stabbing her. The group stood up in a heartbeat, walking towards Quinn's door.

"Run" said Mindy just a second before the door busted open. Quinn's body was thrown at them, landing above Anika and making her fall to the ground. Ghostface stood on the door. "Oh, fuck" the person behind the mask slashed Mindy on the arm. Thanks, Ethan! Y/N internally yelled.

"Step back!" screamed Anika, hitting him. Ghostface grabbed her from the throat, pinning her to the ground, suffocating her.

"Why are our knives missing?" Y/N yelled at Sam. Of course she knew why they were missing, she hid them. Sam took the knives holder and ran towards Ghostface, who had his knife inside Anika’s stomach, and hit his head with it.

“Grab Anika, I’ll hold him back for a bit!” Y/N said to Sam. The older Carpenter took Anika and started to lead her towards the room, Y/N gave Ethan a subtle nod, indicating him it was time to be cut. The boy slashed her stomach, and she let out a curse before following Sam to Quinn’s room.

"Mindy, bathroom door. Hurry" Sam whispered. Mindy ran to the door, closing it just in time. Ghostface kept hitting the door, trying to enter the room. Sam pushed the piece of furniture in front of the door.

"Sam!" Danny screamed from the building in front of them.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she told him when he grabbed a ladder and put it as some kind of bridge that connected the two buildings.

"You have to climb one at a time" Danny said.

"You three first" said Sam.

"No, you go" Mindy told her. "I'll hold the door, you two go first and then Anika".

"Go, Y/N/N" Sam ordered her.

Y/N didn't want to discuss it. Her stomach was in pain and she already wanted the persecution to be over, so she climbed the ladder and couldn't help looking down. "Oh my god" she felt the bile coming up her throat. Her vision started to get blurry. I did not sign up for this, she internally cursed.

"Don't look down! Keep going, you have to hurry up" Danny told her.

Y/N took a deep breath and tightened her grip on the metal stairs. She had to do it as slow as possible without being too obvious. She arrived to the other side, hoping it gave Ethan time to at least manage to kill one of them.

Sam went next, and then Mindy. Once her girlfriend was safe, Anika started climbing the ladder. Expressions of panic were seen on her friend's faces. Ghostface entered the room, and was standing behind Anika. Ethan began to shake the metal ladder up and down, while the rest of the group screamed in fear. Anika was starting to lose balance.

"Anika give me your hand" yelled Y/N and Sam. They extended their arms, Anika's finger tips brushed against theirs but it wasn't enough. With one last shook, Anika fell down to her death. Her face impacted against a container, and her body laid lifeless on the floor.

Y/N hugged Mindy as she cried on her shoulder. The girl looked at Ethan, trying not to smile. She knew he could do it, and he did not disappoint. Ethan, on the other hand, couldn’t stop looking at Y/N’s stomach. He may have gone too hard on her, the cut was very large and her clothes were soaked in blood. Not bearing to see the wound he inflicted on her, he left the room.

JUST AS THEY IMAGINED, THE GROUP’S THOUGHTS ABOUT ETHAN WEREN’T VERY POSITIVE. The little trust they had on him evaporated, and now he was their prime suspect. Y/N received glares too, not because they suspected her, but because she still defended Ethan.

“His alibi’s checked out, guys. He has his Econ notes. It was just a coincidence” Y/N stood up for him.

“Y/N/N don’t be stupid” Mindy told her.

Y/N sighed “I’m not! Look, let’s just… keep an eye on him. If when the next attack happens he’s not there, I’ll believe it”

Mindy shrugged “Suit yourself”.

“Gale found something” Sam informed them.

Y/N groaned “I just want to shower and change clothes” she said tired, resting her head on Mindy’s shoulder.

“Um, you can go to our apartment” Ethan suggested.

“Alone? No, thanks” she declined the offer.

“I can go with you” the curly-haired boy said.

“Yeah, right. As if” Mindy intervened.

“Minds, I really need it” Y/N said.

“Are you sure, Y/N/N?” Tara asked her. She didn’t trust Ethan either.

“We can send a cop to the apartment, if that makes you feel safer” Bailey suggested.

“Yeah, that would be great. Thank you” the girl replied.

Tara sighed “Fine. Call us, okay? And take your phone off silent mode”.

“Will do. See you later, be careful” she hugged the group before going with Ethan.

As soon as they arrived to the apartment, Y/N took a shower and put on a shirt and joggers from Ethan. When she exited the bathroom, she found the boy sitting on the edge of his bed, waiting for her.

His guilty eyes met hers, and she spoke before he could start apologizing “Don’t you dare, Eth. I’m fine”.

“Can I see?” Ethan asked softly. She raised the shirt a bit, showing him the scar. He traced it softly with his fingers. “I’m so sorry, Y/N/N”.

She kneeled between his legs, making them be on the same height “Eth, please stop it. It’s fine, it didn’t even hurt that much”.

“I can tell you’re lying, I can read you perfectly” he said.

“Well, okay. It did hurt, but it wasn’t like unbearable. I promise. Maybe you can kiss it better?” she joked. “Or maybe I can distract you so you stop thinking about it”.

“Both” he said breathlessly.

“I like your idea” she whispered. Her uneven breaths against his mouth made his heart skip a beat. And then everything stopped when her lips collided with his. He stopped thinking, and instead he focused on the way she was making him feel. The blood rushing throughout his whole body, making him feel warm, and the sudden urge to memorize her body with his hand, to feel every inch of her delicate skin, the feeling that he never wanted that moment to be over.

And Y/N just couldn’t get enough of him. His electric touch in every inch of her skin, from cheeks to her hips, and the way his lips danced with hers so harmoniously drove her insane. The void she once felt disappeared for a moment, and now the only thing she could feel was him—his breaths, his lips, his body, the beats of his heart, his longing. Their longing. She wanted that moment to be tattooed on her mind for eternity.