#IDK she said that and now I'm stressing about it. LMAO

[butmakeitgayblog]

Oh yeah!!!! I have few words, mostly not very censured, to describe my feelings about the comments. Now I understand why ADS does not publish anything about his personal life. This comment exactly summed up my thoughts

Well, not to catch strays on my own blog here but I agree with about... eh, 85% of that 😅

It is weird that people keep bombarding her with "I thought you were gay 😩" type comments just because she played a lesbian once. Like, the girl has said she's straight, her friends have said she's straight, and most importantly: man, people really have GOT to learn to separate fiction from reality. Actors are not their characters. It's concerning the amount of people who can't seem to make that distinction, and not just with her. It's reoccurring theme in celebrity comments sections, and it's disturbing.

The part about Eliza. Pfft. Lol. Lmao even, absolutely the worst example to use in this situation. Like, I can't stress that enough. Bob sucks and has always sucked AND he's abusive, and Eliza not only was implicated in those allegations, but she also started acting like an ass toward her LGBTQ fans after getting with him. So yeah no. They've recieved trolling and hate, but for deserved reasons. Anyone who was mad about it due to character/fandom shit, again, needs to get a grip on reality. Beyond that, they were criticized for legitimate reasons.

I know some people have issues with her and the ugly frog man for different reasons that I'm not getting into here because none of it is actually known as fact nor based on any allegations other than made up ones by "fans", just rumors and guesses, but again I think that really crosses a line of appropriateness just as much as harassing someone for not being gay. We don't know these people. We don't actually know what goes on in their lives and we do not know their day-to-day actions. Assuming you know personal things based off of vague timelines and heavily curated IG posts is at best immature and naive, at worst delusional. Stop it. It's not healthy.

And lastly, all of those comments pale in comparison to the ones that literally post as though they know her personally. Like stalker type comments. Comments that fully show these deranged people have made up an entire relationship with her in their heads, and now feel slighted as though she's somehow betrayed their "relationship together". These people need to be on a fucking watchlist, and I'm very serious about that. Someone on her team should be watching her comments and doing strategic blocks instead of letting that shit run rampant because there's several of them, and shocking, they're all cis men who talk about being violent to him and sexually violent to her. Like, someone on her team? Lock that shit up, what is she paying you for.

Anyway long story short, she does deserve to be happy and even if you feel whatever way about her having a boyfriend (one she's had for 2 fucking years like omg this is not new they haven't exactly been hiding idk why this is such a sudden Thing now), acting like a fuckhead in her comments section isn't going to do anything other than make you look crazy. Just be normal my goodness

[11queensupreme11]

okay question! will we be seeing a prego percyy? and if so who will be the most protective baby daddy? + plus her pregnancy cravings with each of them?

i initially said no to that question, but recently i've been contemplating it solely for the drama of her being pregnant while in TARTARUS.............. but idk, it doesn't fit with the rest of the stuff i have planned, so i don't think i can...?????

this is just for arsenic blues tho! i DO plan on making a separate book that's just a series of oneshots and short stories about percy's babies with the yans!!!

i didn't get whether you meant who would be the most protective of percy while she's pregnant or who would be the most protective father, so i'm just gonna do both

PROTECTIVE OVER PREGNANT PERCY:

7: hades! his solution would be to keep her locked up in the palace 24/7 until the pregnancy's over. now that she's spending all her time in the palace under his watchful eye, he won't stress so much.

6: apollo! the reason why he's so low is because he's 10000% confident that he can give percy the most comforting, stress-free pregnancy ever. all of his focus goes on making sure she's happy and okay. yes he still frets from time to time, but unlike the other yans (aside from loki) he actually knows what to do if anything goes wrong

5: cú chulainn! he's protective cuz he has no idea what he was doing so he's just hoping for the best! he's a lot more careful with percy than usual and more pushy towards keeping her home.

4: loki! he's gonna cast the most protective spells all over percy's body, the palace, the palace perimeters, etc. runes, enchantments, spellwork, he'll go above and beyond to make sure she and the baby are safe.

3: anubis! usually he's more on the hyperactive and playful, but when his mate's pregnant his protective tendencies 📈📈📈📈 he's gonna be more territorial than usual and the chances of him letting percy leave the palace is very very VERY slim. if she wants to go outside, he'll simply just expand the palace garden so she has more space!

2: poseidon!!! do you know how much danger his precious daughter-wife keeps getting into? SO FUCKING MUCH! if he were human, he'd be dead from cardiac arrest ages ago!!!

1: beelzebub. absolutely beelzebub. he is the most overprotective yan ever for obvious reasons, but also because he's terrified that his baby might hurt percy in the womb. so he's not only worried about outside threats but... well... inside threats too lmao

PROTECTIVE FATHER:

7: poseidon. he has thousands of sons. and if they're actually worthy of being his sons, then they BETTER not need his protection.

6: beelzebub. he knows very well that his children can take care of themselves. even if they were in any danger, he still wouldn't step in, but he would step in if they were actually about to die.

5: hades. he's up in number five cuz it mostly depends on the gender. this dude literally locks up his daughters in the palace and rarely lets them out. so he'll be protective mostly towards his daughters, and while he cares greatly for his sons too, he won't be as insane over protecting them lol

4: loki. loki is a great dad who loves and cares for his kids, but he also lives with the guilt of causing narfi and vali to die. so he's now extra careful, making sure any of his tricks and antics don't cause punishments towards his children.

3: anubis. this dude LIVES for his family and will go absolutely feral if anything were to happen to them. sure if they were in a fight, he'd cheer for them, but when things actually get ugly, he'll lose his shit and do whatever it takes to protect his kids.

2: apollo. this dude literally got turned into a human over his children. he loves his children very very VERY much and is intensely protective over them and would do whatever it took to keep them safe, even if it led to him getting hurt.

1: most protective daddy would be...... 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

CÚ CHULAINN!!! i know, surprise, right??? 😂 well there's a very good explanation for this and it's that this dude has a hundred fucking daughters (and maybe more, idk i might add more lol) and only one son. a hundred daughters just as giggly and lovely and airheaded as their mother, so it's no wonder he's so protective over them 😭 he has so many enemies too, and he knows the best way to hurt him would be to hurt the most important girls in his life: his wife and daughters 😭

[alexanbratz]

Just typing this to vent a little, I can't really concentrate on anything right now. But recently I've been hanging out with an old friend of mine. We met in highschool and now we're both approaching 20. Back in highschool she first came out to me as a lesbian. I was not surprised lmao. I of course accepted her and we remained good friends. Fast forward a few years, and I realize I'm not a boy. She was one of the first person I came out to. It was really nerve-racking but fortunately she also accepted me. Despite not really seeing each other very much since highschool we remained in contact.

Now it's been a few weeks and we've started talking more and more, sharing our interests, going to each other's house and going out. And now, I'm starting to think I'm catching feelings for her. It wasn't the case back then but now, I can't stop finding new things I like about her. The thing is I don't know how she sees things and it's keeping me up at night. Everytime we meet up there a tension in the background and I don't know if she feels it too. I don't know if she also wants more out of this relationship, at least I think I do. Last time we met to play bowling together and then went to my place. She kept saying how pretty I was, and also acting kinda different... not only was she dripped out, not saying she doesn't know how to dress, she actually has great swag, but it was also the first time I ever saw her wearing perfume. She usually doesn't give that much thought when she goes out with friends. But at the same time that was back then and I don't know if it's just normal for her and that she maybe changed since then. But still it occupies my mind. She also during that day, asked me about my past dating life. Which I found a little sus (*the rock gif*, *vine boom*).

Not only all of that but the way we text and talk has kinda changed. A lot more cutesy with some moments I guess having a kind of "flirty" undertone, but at the same idk if it's just me imagining things... She asked me what I thought of her as a person, her character. I responded that I think she's a strong-willed person who doesn't care what other people think, a transparent person who may seem crude but that is what makes her so honest and so cool in my eyes. Which I really love about her. Then asked her the same question and she responded that I'm a bit of an ADHD gremlin but that I also have a kind heart, and that I'm, and I quote "a ray of sunshine".

But I think, what really stresses me out is the fact I'm trans. I guess it's internalized trans-misogyny, but I can't imagine her ever seeing me as a real woman. I can't imagine someone like her loving someone like me. I'm afraid that even if she accepts me, that deep down she's disgusted by me, of what I am. And deep down I feel like I kinda deserve it. And that I'm not deserving of that kinda love...

I don't really know what to do, I also don't want to ruin our friendship...

PS : I forgot to mention but she also said she never forgot that time I went to school in a maid outfit for Halloween. Idk what to take outta this 😭

[greennoobartist]

Replying to these again bcuz yes :)

@lilyhatesthenumber4 @i-love-zelda-16 @thebackofmymind4 @nevermatchandscpsradadventures @blupeeblep

I don’t care about how old you are; if you’re going through this kind of stuff, it doesn’t matter. You need help. I am a Christian, so in a way, religion does matter to me, but it won’t stop me from trying to show you the love of Christ through our screens. I don’t know what to say to the rest of the post, except that stress and anxiety can definitely mess with your memory (personal experience, not trying to gaslight/anything), and you’ve been dealing with a lot. Definitely not discounting trauma-induced amnesia/whatever, just acknowledging what I do know. I will continue to pray for you through this and do my best to support you. God bless you - Nevermatch

<Gently grabs you and wraps my arms around you in a hug and rocks us back and forth> (if you like physical touch) I'm so sorry that that's happened. Healing is a long journey I've heard. I don't know the entire situation, but if you think you've been abused, that's probably what's happened. I know depression is a hard thing. My mom has it and still struggles with it daily. But that doesn't mean you should give up. Every day there's a chance of something amazing that you might miss. Look for the silver lining. It's hard, and even harder with depression, and I don't have it (I don't think), so I don't know entirely what to say. (And I have to go now, so... Rest of response a little later) You're not dumb and blind. You've been hurt, and a blindfold forced upon your lids. When you're used to something, it's hard to get rid of. It takes a while to adjust. Being honest to oneself is a very good step. It's hard. I, myself, still many times lie to myself. It's part of human nature. And trying to be open to oneself is a hard, but fruitful, journey. Idk for sure what the voice is, but it could be (forgive me real quick because I'm religious) the devil, Satan, trying to win you over and drag you down. He does that when he knows that you're a grand spirit who has a grand purpose. Don't let him win. Happily punch that guy in the face! (It'll be hard, but I believe in you, and have your back at best I can! You've got this!) It sucks that you have no backup in your family. I extend being able to be part of my hoard (dragon name for family that I use in my found family ^w^) if you'd like. Also, would totally kid nap you, fr. I don't know how to get away with it, or if we're close enough, but I would. I don't know your family situation, but if there was an adult that you know irl that you're close with, you might be able to tell them and get help there? Idk. (I may not be a professional (yet), but I am a friend, and friends help each other and make sure their mate knows they've got the others back. 🫂) Also, age and religion doesn't really matter to me. Age is a number, and religion is a view point of the world. You can be any age or any religion, and I wouldn't give two shakes. You can talk about either, you can keep it secret, I don't mind. I'll support you and be with you either way, no matter what. And crying is good and important. It's a release mechanism our body has for stress and such. It's part of the healing process. It's not weak. It's strength.

(Lmao Blep is the kidnapping part a good or a bad thing XD. Literally like paused and was like....whut? Should i be happy about it or freaked out XDD/joking)

Thx for support again, y'all. I am definitely planning to go to a therapist or psychologist or someone classified to help me. I think that keeping it under a rock will just make everything way worse than it is.

I don't think ill share it with my family, and idk if I should. Ill probably just go to the psychologist during school hours so that no one figures it out (and even if they do, my mom knows that im not alright, she just doesn't know that this is the matter)

I literally feel like what Nevermatch said, kinda like i was putting Mentos in a bottle of Coke and keeping it closed and then just snapped. I never usually rant like this but recently I just felt like letting it out anyhow cuz it started to physically hurt.

Until I figure out with the psychologist, i decided that I should probably do my part, which would be more self care. I think I neglected myself with everything that was happening and I think that i should do my part and take care of myself before seeking deeper help. I definitely did abandon my needs and both physical and mental health just bcuz of others, so I should, at least for this upcoming spring break, cheer up myself and take care. I mean like, if im not kind to myself, then I don't think that anyone can help me.

Now when I think about it, i was being a hypocrite recently. Always telling everyone else to be kind to themselves and rant whenever needed and seek out help while I was here bottling up everything and keeping it to myself and neglecting my wishes and health. I was literally doing the opposite of what i was telling to everyone else.

Thank you all for support, this would've probably been burning inside me for longer until it just.... ... Finishes me off....

Also, Lily, for those antidepressants. I actually didn't know what that was until I googled it, and i don't think I am. The thing is that im not professionally diagnosed with any mental illness for now so that's why I wasn't even taking those. If now being nice to myself and some self care counts as an antidepressant, then I am planning to and definitely should.

Im glad that none of y'all care how old i am or whats my religion, bcuz here's the thing. If I was in LU, i would fall in the same category as Four and Wind. We don't know how old Four is but he's the second youngest (according to that one post imma try to find) and Wind is nearly 14. So yeah actually if imma rank myself like that, i would fall in the same age group with them i think. Yeah, im that young 😶 (Four can't be older than 16 now can he???)

Again, thank you all sm. Your support means the world. I think that i would've committed smth horrible if I didn't snap like this *nervous chuckle* Anyways-

Since I said that i want to care about myself again in hope to retrieve what I lost, ill place the rants aside and focus on positive things about the world. If smth really bad happens that i have to then I might drop down a short rant but ill aim not to. I wanna retrieve what I lost and I think that self care should be my first steps.

Thank you all so much ❣️💖🫶

Now that ill take care of myself, ill do things that i like, which means rambling :D

[linda-bates]

wow i feel lied to abt that episode being great :/

like. okay, the acting was great bc it usually is outside of a few cast members who are sometimes stiff as hell. karen and tommy coming in to help save the day was great and fun. and i genuniely dont care that eddie was missing: hes not gonna be in every ep and i think they can do a lot with feeling responsible because "i wasn't there" and being torn between caring about the 118 and knowing that he wasn't there because he was finally doing what he NEEDED to do and put his son first. i think that could be impactful if written well!

but like. literally what the fuck was that???

not even the bobby of it all, although i don't feel like this death was genuinely earned considering the tim "the audience was too comfy so i shook things up!!!" minear of it all and the fact he had to spend fifteen minutes convincing aisha that he wasn't joking because literally everyone thought he was joking (imo a sign that Maybe he should have thought a bit harder about pulling a death out like this--i'm not mad that bobby died, i'm mad that they did it like this).

but like... this season has genuinely been weird as fuck when it comes to mental health and whatnot. i'm sure there's better posts out there that touch on the fact that bobby was suicidal as recent as last season and how shitty it feels to be like "the depressed guy with alcoholism issues has found reason to live!!! and now he dies :)" when im p sure other shows have pulled the same "depressed character found purpose only to die immediately anyway" (ive never watched the magicians but ik ive seen ppl mention quentin) and had ppl pissed off for that.

but thats not even the only instance lately? we had the shitty DID representation a few episodes ago that further perpetuates harmful ideas about ppl with DID. we had maddie ignoring her own damn postpartum depression with "im not the only woman who has dealt with it before lmao!!" when chimney is rightfully worried about having another kid considering he almost lost HER last time. and im just supposed to accept "well im already pregnant sooo :)" even tho we literally saw maddie try to drown herself a few seasons ago

also idk man we're still in a pandemic and we're living in increasingly stressful times considering (gestures toward the U.S. alone, let alone the rest of the world rn) so it just feels particularly shitty to be like "the audience is too comfy, time to kill a main!" when people view this as a comfort show for a reason and genuinely enjoyed the fact they didn't have to worry about the show deciding to just kill a main out of nowhere.

ive seen ppl saying they might not watch the show anymore, either after this ep or after this season is over, and im honestly with them. the writing quality this season seems to constantly be flipflopping between "genuinely really fucking good episode" to "... who wrote this shit? hello???"

also: what the fuck am i supposed to think about athena losing her first love, later divorcing michael (for legit reasons tbf), and then losing her second chance TOO???? why the fuck doesn't SHE get to be happy? angela already said something about how she doesn't think athena will date anymore and i'm like. why does SHE have to be the one who dies without her love? it just fucking sucks to think about the fact that she'll be alone again when it comes to romance. obviously u CAN live a life without it but like... why does it have to be athena? hasn't she been through enough??? jfc

[aeligsido]

[WM — September 2024] Prompt 6 — Time-Turner.

Rating: G.

TW: none.

Characters: Remus Lupin, Seren Lupin (OC), Mary Macdonald, Sirius Black (in the haunting-the-narrative kind of way).

Additional Tags: actor Sirius Black; celebrity Sirius Black; trans Remus Lupin; past trans male pregnancy; Mary and Peter are great friends I just need to say it; modern au; actress Seren Lupin but she’s just starting; Seren as a wolfstar baby except Sirius doesn’t know she’s his (or Remus’s for that matter).

Summary: Seren Lupin gets the lead role for upcoming coming-of-age movie Time-Turner.

Words count: 975.

A/N: Heya! I dropped this au in @impishtubist askbox some time ago and since it refused to leave my brain I'm now forced to write about it idk. I’ll write Sirius and Remus’ first meeting (in twelve years) for a later microfic I think lmao. Hope you like it! 💕

@wolfstarmicrofic

read on ao3.

-

Remus is worrying himself sick, pacing alone in the kitchen, opening and closing the fridge to make sure the cake is still here, getting the glasses out, putting them back in, starting making tea, forgetting it halfway through the process. He should have joined them after work, but he was too stressed and too scared of somehow destroying Seren’s chances.

It’s her last audition today. Some sort of chemistry test? To see if she gets along with the other actors? It all made sense when she was excitedly telling him about it yesterday again, but it’s like his brain is mush now.

The door opens, cutting him down from his own spiral, and Remus perks up, more stressed out by the whole affair than his daughter ever was.

“Dad! Dad! I got it!”

Seren appears in the kitchen, grinning like the little gremlin she is, teeth out and her brown curls slipping free from the careful braid Mary pushed them into this morning. Her eyes, a circle of dark brown cascading into a warm grey, are shining with delight and joy, and Remus finds himself breathless with love — just like almost twelve years ago, when they put this small, red, squealing baby on his chest with a congratulation.

His daughter jumps into his arms and he laughs in tandem with her. “That’s amazing! I knew you could do it!” He lets her free, just enough to put his hands on her cheeks and look at her in the eyes. “I’m so proud of you.”

She beams with the force of a thousand suns.

“Thanks! It was so cool, and, oh, you’ll never guess who’s gonna play my dad in the film! And Mister Dumbledore said that we could get a TV show too!”

Albus Dumbledore, one of the most acclaimed film directors still alive, with so many successes behind him — yet so eccentric you could never guess what he will go for next. After a blockbuster about a young crowds of vigilantes saving their world from tyranny, a rather depressing story about a young orphan in the middle of WWII becoming the oppressor, and a passionate but tragic gay romance at the end of the 19th century, a coming-of-age children story is right on par for the course. Time-Turner, as it’s called, will follow a young girl — played by Seren, his own daughter! — discovering her time travel power, while dealing with her mother’s recent demise.

Which makes the father of the heroine the other lead of the film, and someone Seren will have to spend a lot of time with. Remus hopes he’s a good person. Someone nice, who wouldn’t be put-out by her unlimited energy and her never-ending supply of questions.

“So?” he asks as Seren stops talking to take a breath. “Who will play your dad?”

She grins, more excited even than before. She has always looked more like him, in general, with more elegance in her traits and grace in her body than he ever possessed. But like that — oh, like that, she looks just like…

“Sirius Black!” she yells, bouncing on her feet, and she can’t help but do a little, victorious dance.

“That’s great,” he says, croaks out more than anything, and smiles as wide as he can, drowning the drumming of his heart and fear as much as he can. “Why don’t you call your grandparents to tell them the news?” He checks the time. “And your uncle Peter? He should be out of work by now.”

Seren nods and babbles some more and disappears toward her room. Mary, who was standing silently near the door the whole time, finally comes around.

Remus starts busying himself with tea. It’s easier than thinking through his rising panic.

“So,” says Mary, because of course she cannot not say anything. For a brief second, Remus wishes Peter had been the one disponible today — he would have judged silently but not said anything, him. “You never told us Sirius Black is Seren’s father.”

He groans. His face hits the table and he considers staying here forever.

“No one knows,” he finally mumbles. “How did you even guess?”

“He was here today.” She ponders her words an instant. “They’re a lot alike.”

“But he doesn’t—” He stops himself, but Mary has known him since they were kids. She can read him too easily.

“I don't think he does.”

Remus sighs. It’s not ideal; it was already not great when Sirius Black was Seren’s idol, but it will be worse now that they’re in contact. Now that he will be in her life.

“Do I ask how it happened, since you didn’t tell me at the time, or are we doing that later when you can get drunk?”

“Second option,” Remus immediately answers. He can still remember, after all those years, how Sirius kissed him like he was important, the warmth of his hands on his body, the softness of his hair— But they had basically been strangers to each other, several hook-ups to escape boring parties resulting in Remus's panic at his sudden pregnancy and a total loss of contact. And now— Now he has so much to lose.

“I’ll call Peter,” Mary nods sagely. Then, after a beat of silence, “it will come out at some point, you know.”

“I doubt it,” he mutters, prays. “It’s not like he’ll remember me, anyway.”

How could an acclaimed actor, known all around the world, remember a random waiter he slept with twelve years ago? Remus didn’t impact his life the way Sirius impacted his. He’ll never regret it, of course — Seren is the most precious thing in his life, and all the moments preceding her existence were pretty great too — but it's not like Sirius would want to have anything to do with them, anyway.

Remus can at least try to speak it into existence.

[delicatetigerobject]

Just finished episode 5 of Stranger Things 4 for the first time!!

And HOLY SHIT. It was GREAT!!

Now I started it a few days ago (the episode) and only finished the second half today and I loved it so much! Spoilers ahead for anyone who hasn't watched this yet btw! :)

Ok so here's my thoughts on the episode as someone watching it for the first time!! :DDDD

(warning that some of this stuff might end up just being from ep 4 as well, since I am very bad at remembering when things happened lmao)

The fact that Victor Creel (pretty sure that's the one, I sometimes get name mixed up of the guys involved with Vecna directly in the past in st4 lol) tried to kill himself to join his family is so sad especially with how devastated he sounded when he said that they stopped the bleeding, like I know he isn't one of the mains but that scene was so sad :(... the guy who played him did such a good job tho!!

Also loved when his family got vecna'd. The spiders coming from the drain thing with his wife (I think?) is actually one of my most frequent intrusive thoughts, I can't imagine how terrible it would feel to see spiders crawling out of the drain in the tub like that, and then coming back just to see that it was never there? spooky shit indeed.

and that makes me think about the jars with... dead spiders that steve found in the vent. I wonder if that scene actually holds any significance at all?? idk yet lol. We'll see!

The lumax scene at the piano in the Creel house was so sweet, I think it was really nice and I'm curious now if it might parallel any byler scenes from st4... I'll have to keep an eye out as I watch the rest of the season I guess lol.

The lights flickering and leading them to the attic, and the way the camera view shifted to be showing Vecna in the upside down? That was AWESOME.

And don't get me STARTED on the death of Jason's friend, I was NOT expecting it to happen when they were chasing Eddie! God, that must've been so terrible for Jason and Eddie. I mean, for Jason, can you even IMAGINE seeing your girlfriend's body looking like that, being about to catch the guy you think murdered her, and then your best friend dies to vecna'd but you have no clue how it's happening? and then HIS BODY FALLS IN THE WATER WHILE JASON IS IN IT, like, that would be SO DISGUSTING to me lmao. And Eddie, well, he'd just seen Chrissy die in the same exact way less than a month ago, like, talk about salt in the wound! (The wound being Trauma™)

And Argyle saying that about the neverending story was really funny lol

BUT THEN EL? the stuff SHE was going through? ughhhhhhfhfhfhhghghfhffff that was so sad and scary. amazing acting, it felt so real, but the scene with the first guy (002 I believe) and the lightbulbs kinda hurt my head lol (I was watching the episode with my earbuds on my phone, so that's probably a bit understandable). But then her choosing to STAY there and get her powers back, I just wanna give that poor girl a hug so bad, she's been through so much. And the thing is, she thought she was going to a place that could help her! and then it was just grabbing her trauma and shoving it back in her face, the poor girl :(

The scene where the government dudes with the guns were trying to shoot them was insane tho, I mean like, that was so cool! I love how close Mike and Will were sticking together. Mike, Will, I know what you are ಠಿ_ಠ

and then Dustin being Dustin, ofc. telling little holly about a dream murderer, real great idea, man. and then not telling Steve anything, that wasn't very cool of him. but then again, he's only 14, I mean, I'd do that too if I was stressed out and my friend who GRADUATED FROM HIGHSCHOOL ALREADY kept asking me questions that I thought were dumb. Like, oh, what clues are we looking for? literally any. the flashlights? well, I'd rather be a bit rude than admit that I forgot to tell you only. plus, what with Eddie being in danger AND Max, I doubt he got too much sleep... poor little guy :(

And Mike, Will, are you really planning on visiting Dustin's girlfriend WITHOUT HIM? oh, he's not gonna be super happy about that, you guys. haha, I can already see it, he's probably gonna be so pissed that they left him out of a visit to his gf, and then Mike will be like, "Dude, we needed to, El could be dying right now, what'd you WANT us to do, figure it out on our own?"

Wasn't too fond of the little stancy moment tbh, it kinda gave me a bit of jancy doubt and of course the byler doubt followed. because they are NOT gonna be giving us canon steve x Jonathan x Nancy in st4, its going to be either jancy or stancy. And with how many jancy and byler parallels there are, and I'm pretty sure some stancy and m*leven parallels, them setting up some sort of romantic thing tension or whatever you want to call that spiderweb scene just makes me a bit worried that they're setting them up for a stancy endgame and of course if they choose to save THAT failing straight relationship, then they'll surely do that with m*leven as well, right?

Overall amazing episode, I loved it very much, and the fight with Murray and Yuri on the plane was SO FUN!! Yuri is such a funny character too lol. his sense of humor is honestly so good imo.

but yeah I really really loved the episode, as usual with this show, and I thought that you guys might like to hear my thoughts on it as a first-time viewer, especially since most of you I've noticed have watched it through multiple times before, since this is a fresh take on it RIGHT after finishing the episode for the first time! ngl the scene with El at the end had me crying, like omg no, don't stay there!

robin is such an icon tho. so is Nancy. so is will. so is argyle. so is Jonathan. so is Mike. so is Steve tbh. I love all of them so much I really hope none of them die but argyle might :(

I think I'll probably be doing this with the rest of the st4 episodes, but I'm not promising anything lol.

anyway even tho this post isn't really byler themed, manifesting a byler rain kiss that somehow is also flickergate rn because that is what I want to happen so bad. and give Mike and will guns! give my boys guns!! 🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯

[solunstell]

List of bsd headcanons

Dazai:

Has bpd. A lot of his traits remind me of my friends with it

He some kind of trans. Nonbinary. Transfem. Transmasc. Idk he's megender lmao

He's described as appearing very youthful in the first two light novels. I imagine that once the events of the main timeline start picking up though, with all the time stopping or slowing abilities that *dont affect him*, he actually ages faster than the other characters. I draw current dazai with small wrinkles, which also hints at stress and stuff

Also, I imagine current dazai getting tanner as he works in the light, as well as getting more prominent freckles.

Round/doe eyes because that is part of his appearance in my opinion. Seeming unsuspecting and innocent, especially during his mafia days

Bad eyesight in his right eye from being under the bandages for so long. Saw this headcanon and loved it

Similarly, beastzai has bad vision in general

I always call No Longer Human an anti-ability in my head, fun fact

He loves to touch other people. Not a fan of being touched by others unless asked

I draw him with red eyes in color, and usually black eyes in ink (inconsistent artstyle my beloved)

Aroace spectrum

heavy sleeper. Very

Chuuya

FRECKLES and tan from sheep days

He likes to be close to other people more than actually touching. Presence over contact

That shade of eyes that changes colors in the light (but I use a grey base lol)

Also some sort of trans, but in a different way than dazai

Brownish red hair. Not blazing, not just brown

That man is AUTISTIC

One time instinctively kicked a friend with his ability active, expecting them to dodge cuz he's used to dazai easily dodging. They did, but they were SO CLOSE to getting hit. Imagine a confused face like wtf why you try to kick me

Light sleeper, but every now and then sleeps like he just learned how to close his eyes

A lot of his jokes go over people's heads because they expect him to be serious and his voice just doesn't change between serious and not serious

Ranpo

Autism plus adhd ftw

Aroace spectrum

Poe

He/they vibes

Anxiety

Gay af

I can 100% see him being into knitting. Imagine the guide plus ranpo all in matching sweaters

Loves baking. Sooooo bad at it

Lucy

Bi (with a lean towards girlies) she/it

VERY good at baking

But she won't share :(

Atsushi

Anxiety, so much anxiety

Aroace spectrum vibes

Very easily idolizes people and then gets surprised when they actually like being around him

Akutagawa

Aroace spectrum

Autism cuz he is so mecore sometimes

Very trans vibes from me

(I like to imagine him having tourettes cuz I have tourettes and I am Not projecting)

Atsushi (special kitty hearing) and jouno being the only ones who can hear some of his tics. He will be horrified that anyone notices them

Wait no actually I'm gonna incorporate that into my belief system. That's canon now

Mori

Genuinely cares about a lot of his workers, but not all of them

He gives great bonuses for birthdays

He absolutely loves vtubers if bsd were in a modern setting. Rip mori. He'd have also loved vocaloid lmao

Ozaki

Masc energy. Fem energy. Ooh I can see ozaki with any pronouns and identity

Kinda person to accidently either overpack or underpack. Always has painkillers, never has a pen

Ridiculous memory. Incredible gift giver. Would get someone something months or years after overhearing them say they wanted something once

"Whyd you get me a hairdryer?"

"You said you needed one. I saw it and thought of you."

"...that was months ago. I got a hairdryer already."

"..." *takes hairdryer back* "sorry wrong person. I don't have my contacts in my bad"

She has perfect vision

Kunikida

Trans vibes. In any and every direction

Adhd af

Will always conveniently have room in his schedule when Aya wants to go do something and needs someone to go with her. No, he's TOTALLY not frantically writing and erasing things, get your glasses updated

You can usually count on him to continue the bit cuz he won't realize there is a bit occurring

[fivewholeminutes]

Leaving this one here for whenever you wanna / are ready to talk about yesterday's show!!! |-/

Also hello, Doubt demo????? My favourite pre-Clancy TØP song ever???!!?!?!!? Good stuff 😌😌😌😌

HELLO HI YES i am finally back homeeeee (my friends were going straight after the concert to my house and now they're working while i'm chilling so i finally have time mehehehe) ty for the ask bby 🥺

So, under the cut, cause it's probably going to be a bit long, chaotic and with shitty photos

I AM FERALLLLLL I WASN'T FOLLOWING THE FANDOM SUPER CLOSELY SINCE AFTER TRENCH (mostly bc the tumblr side of it that i lurked in died) SO IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I WAS IN THE DARK ABOUT HOW THE SHOWS LOOK LIKE THIS ERA AND IT WAS SUCH A REFRESHING EXPERIENCE, BEING SURPRISED AT A GIG‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

On our way there i was wondering if they're still playing hoty. If we're still gonna get the backflip. What are they gonna finish with (after all this time i was afraid they're not finishing shows with trees anymore but THEY STILL DO AND IT MADE ME FEEL SO WARM AND HAPPY. IT WAS LIKE COMING HOME. DESPITE EVERYTHING WE STILL HAVE TREES PLAYED ON PLATFORMS HELD BY FANS‼️).

God, i am still so emotional, it was a good choice to Not Speedrun what i missed (i ALWAYS need to know everything beforehand, not only about gigs, but yeah. It's so nice to just Be Surprised).

When they started, literally everyone around us stood up and didn't sit their ass down till the very end and i got so excited to see them again i forgot i have my phone lying on my lap and i DROPPED IT AND BROKE THE BACK OF IT LMAO (the screen is okay though)

We had seated tickets, BUT!!!!!!! WE COULDN'T HAVE DREAMED OF A BETTER PLACE, THE SMALL PIANO PLATFORM WHERE TYLER WENT FOR HALF OF ROUTINES AND THE ENTIRETY OF THE LINE WAS LIKE. IDK, 15-20 M AWAY FROM US??? TWO SONGS WE AWAITED THE MOST. PLAYED RIGHT NEXT TO UUUUUUSSSSSSSS‼️‼️‼️

AND THE HELLO, THE TORCH BEARER JOSH APPEARED ON THE VERY STAIRS WE USED TO GET TO OUR PLACES???? THE PERFECT SPOT FR

I really love they keep going around the whole venue to be closer to the fans that are not by the stage 🥺

Tyler learned how to pronounce Łódź perfectly. He said that better than some Polish rappers we've had a displeasure to hear on a festival in this city once. (Displeasure not bc they're rappers, but bc they make very bad music.) I really wish they would stop coming to Łodź, though. WE HAVE BETTER CITIES, PLEASE STOP MAKING ME COME TO ŁÓDŹ, IT'S A CURSED PLACE (sorry if anyone's from there reading this. But also i hope you get better <3)

He has, however, fucked up a name of a little girl they invited to sing one refrain of ride with. IT WAS LAURA, TYLER. NAURA IS A NON-EXISTENT WORD, MATE (/lh, the girl was stressed and didn't pronounce her name very clearly. I mean, who can blame her). AND SHE WAS SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEE, SHE SUNG YAYAYAIDE INSTEAD OF PRONOUNCING THE R'S IN RIDE AND I WAS MELTING FROM HER CUTENESSSSSSSSSS

Also tyler got off the platform stage later for her to have the spotlight on her only 🥺

I'm sorry for crude blurryfacing(hehe) of the crowd

JOSH'S RED GRANDMA VEST WAS EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEE

Tyler got a few pokemon plushies thrown on stage, with a tag that said happy bday to his son!! He kept pikachu and KICKED charizard (or squirtle? Don't remember) back into the crowd. Rip pokemons. And then the crowd started singing happy birthday in polish, bc one thing polish crowds love to do is to confuse musicians with singing polish songs out of the blue. It's like my 2nd or 3rd happy birthday situation. Why are we like this. Are other crowds like this too?? (Side note. Looking at y'all at mystic festival at 21:37 before sleep token played. You Know What You Did)

TYLER CRIED DURING NAVIGATING. I DID NOT EXPECT THAT DURING NAVIGATING AND I ALMOST CRIED MYSELF IN THAT MOMENT.

One thing i didn't like is that tyler was straight up Not Singing A LOT of the parts. Like i get when you want the crowd to sing some lines, hell, i love that too, hearing how powerful everyone's voices sound. But mate, that was a bit too much of not singing!!!!!!!!!!

Then again. They played for over 2 hours (and i love them for that), that might strain the voice a bit. BUT STILL. NO EXCUSES, MR JOSEPH

Anyways. Have some extra photos

AND THAT DOUBT DEMO ANNOUNCEMENT??? HELLO???????????????????????????? I ALWAYS END UP ON THEIR GIGS WHERE THEY ANNOUNCE STH (last time tyler announced they're gonna have a baby with jenna and she came on stage 🥺) alex fivewholeminutes keeps winning 😌 AND THE DEMO ITSELF IS SO FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDD

But most importantly.

Tyler said we were better than the german crowds

(Again. Sorry for any germans reading this. But it's not my fault we're just better 😌💖) /lh again of course

EDIT: I FORGOR TO ADD I WAS SURPRISED THAT JOSH PLAYS THE KEYBOARD NOW. AND HE SINGS????????? THAT WAS DELIGHTFUL. THAT WAS EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[crimswnred]

I've just gotten back home from work so I'm a little late to the party, however...

LITG SEASON 8: TEMPTING FATE — VOLUME 2: thoughts, concerns and prayers

first of all yesss more hair booooo paywall, fusebox get it together??? (at least they are pretty but again that's the bare minimum)

anyway, here's my girl with her new hair

why do all of the girls' nightwear look like I'm on a strip club and they're asking me if I want something to drink

it's so over for you Theo

honestly she's too good for him anyway

okay kiss challenge!!!! let me snog everyone

I don't want any more of that "peck" crap we want FULL ON SNOGS, TONGUE AND CHAOS

Jin: "Nap, then results?" Hamish would be so proud of him

okay, so you rate me EIGHT just so I feel like I have to pay to have one extra kiss, your game is a dirty as ever Fusebox

date time!!!! going with Jin ❤️

LMAO Jack is kinda funny

so sad to see a baddie doing too much to keep a man in love island 💔 Luna I'm so sorry you didn't deserve it your only crime was being coupled up with the one guy I want

oh. so about the terrace scene...

first of all, super sweet gem scene. it seemed like a super important one for it to be a gem scene though. so idk I'm a bit lost.

Jin is a walking red flag 😭 this boy is soooo gonna flip on me when the next hot girl shows up!! but let's enjoy the ride

and Luna... girl... was it ever that serious?

the award for worst outfit design goes to 👇

and the one for BEST outfit design goes to 👇

like wow wowza mmmhmm yeah! this man is hot hot HOT 🔥🔥🔥

I had to kiss him HE IS SO FINEEEEEEEEEEE

oh, Jack is kinda sweet... if he looked more like Lewie/Alex he would be favourite boy of the season for sureeee

keep the compliments coming, darling

I had to kiss him too. you know, to be polite.

but it was just a peck, tho

okay, NOW JIN!!!

having a spicy conversation with the guy I want to fuck and his currently girl isn't how I planned to spend my afternoon but here we go

"You're adventurous. You're fun to be around. And you'd make every sight even more beautiful", "Okay. Where's the punch line?", "There isn't one :)" OKAY GAG ME WITH THE WRITING

FUNNY BOY WHO'S A HISYORY NERD? OH OKAY!!!! BIG T??? NO IT'S BIG J!!!!!! JIMOTHY!!!

lmao Sophie mixing the boys up she's so me

Claudia is a real one let me tell you that

she's nice, she doesn't force herself upon us, she's polite, she give us all the tea, and she even help us to graft on the boys behind their girls' backs. like, THAT'S MY GIRL

and if Theo doesn't step up she will DEFINITELY be mine

TIME TO PICK MY BOY LET'S GOOOOOOOO

so sad to see Luna go, I really like her :/

lmao???????????

I TAKE BACK EVERY GOOD THING I SAID ABOUT JACK WTFFFF 😭😭😭😭

he was so out of pocket ?? what's your deal man, are you jealous I picked Jin instead of you? we kissed ONCE. be sooooooooo for real rn

okay Sophie you can join your boy in this bullshit he still cheated on you with me when you weren't looking (and he probably would do it again)

no. I won't forgive you?? you were basically calling me a whore back then and now you are SORRY? don't say something you'll regret later that's not cute.

and he's supposed to be serious?

anyway, stressful night over. time to go to bed with my babygirl Jin

BITS BITS BITS BITS

29 gems to go all the way? what is this?

they could've make the scene a little longer but they have gotten way better ever since the writers dropped the word crescendo

MR TYLER WHO ARE YOU?

still not 100% sure if I'm going with Jin or Oakley but I'm leaning towards Jin, I'm not gonna lie 😁 I did some stuff that will fuck me over on movie night if fusebox finally learnt how to code (which they prolly didn't so I guess I'm safe)

I really enjoyed this episode except for the part when Jack and Sophie went full on villain mode but if the narrative made sense all of the time it wouldn't be LITG, right?

anyway, let's see what this Tyler guy is about... see you all next week 🫶

[polyamorousmood]

Thoughts on dating a mono person as a poly person?

My gf, s, is mono n im poly. When we first started dating i had already been dating another poly person, x. S was uncomfy with the poly aspects but said she didnt mind dating me while i was dating x so long as i didnt really talk about it to her, ig since i was dating x first.

X and i didnt work out for separate reasons and me and s are still together, but she is 100% mono, and im not.

Ik we wont be together forever bc were quite young and the chances of that are slim, plus i dont think id want to marry someone i started dating so young (which she knows and more or less agrees with me about). So ik the "problem", if it even counts as one, isnt permanent.

I enjoy me and s's relationship but the poly-ness of me are like "but new and different ppl too please?" I like variety, and have interests that she doesnt enjoy (like kink especially). Theres no one in particular im interested in rn outside of s, but if there were to be she wouldnt like it or be comfortable with me acting on it...

Idk if it would come down to "be poly with other ppl or be mono with me", but idek how to broach the subject with her or if i even should rn since it's not yet relevant.

Sorry for the rant lol, what do you think?

Bluntly, I think you're stressing too much for a relationship that already has an expiration date lmao

If its something you think you'd like for the time frame you're with S, I think its reasonable to be like "I'm not looking right now, but if I did meet someone else I wanted to date, how would you like to handle that? Would you still just not want me to mention it?" but it is likely to be an EXTREMELY uncomfortable conversation if it was a don't-ask-don't-tell policy with the last person. I would stress that its not a big deal right now, but if something ever came up, you'd want to handle it in the best way possible to not accidentally hurt S. Try to get ahead of how you think S might react to this conversation. Whether that's "I don't mean to make you insecure, but I just wanted to make sure we're clear about...." or whatever, but if you're going to say something, acknowledge going into it that it will be hard for her.

I generally think any style of relationship can work, given the right people and common understanding. It is very hard to reach an understanding with someone who isn't able to frankly discuss the situation, but I've seen workarounds, so 🤷‍♂️

Just live your life. If you're as young as you're making yourself sound, you're gonna fuck something up somewhere along the line, and that will be okay. Do what you can, with the energy and knowledge you have, and that will have to be enough. Even if it wasn't "right".

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Earlier today I thought about sending you this ask, but I thought "the focus here is to talk about HH, not HB" but then, you answered an ask about Stolas, so I came to ask my "ask" (in quotes because it's not an ask, but rather a design comparison because I like it, yayyy)

Stolas is an owl right? So if you'll excuse me, here are two owls, my oc's, one from "Star Fox" the other from "Swat Kats" and now that I stop to think, I should have taken Stellar as a reference because she is a female, but honestly I don't even know if she's an owl so screw it, let's get to the comparison:

(sorry for the background in the first photo, I was too lazy to take a photo of just her) can you see how chubby they are? and Stolas is so thin that it hurts? I don't understand that, Viv at least knows how to make thin people with big waists, but she didn't even do that here, and let's face it, owls are chubby and don't have a damn neck (similar to a human's when humanized) and Stolas does!! It's the same thing that irritates me about Vox (the TV, I don't know if that's how his name is spelled) he has a TV head!! Why does he have a neck?!?!

and other!!! you can see the difference between Yanter (first photo) and Carlie (second photo) but you can see that they are both owls, but remember what I said about Stellar? So, you can't tell the difference between she and Stolas, I'm not saying in terms of appearance, I'm saying in terms of species, every species has something similar, but if Stellar is really an owl, what is the similarity between her and Stolas, which is not the same similarity between another character (a blue one, I think she's Stellar's cousin) WHO IS NOT EVEN AN OWL!! BECAUSE IF YOU DO THIS, VIV, YOU DO YOUR AUDIENCE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT STELLAR IS!!! SHE IS AN OWL? A PEACOCK?? TELL ME!

... sorry.. I got stressed.. I guess.. that's all I have to say... sorry, I just wanted to say that because I feel a little need to show that my designs are better than Viv's (even if that's not very difficult) sorry for the inconvenience, bye bye

SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO RESPOND TO THIS!!! These designs are awesome!! I love seeing bird characters so much; actually gives me a few design ideas lmao

I have no idea what bird Stella is either but if I had to design her I’d probably make her an albino cockatiel. I actually have a LOT of ideas on how to fix Stella but just for a quick birdie ref

Aint they cute? :3

I do plan on eventually redesigning Stolas and getting rid of that god awful neck. I don’t understand why Vivzie is allergic to fat people, I don’t think she’s realised the joy of having fat/chubby characters or even muscular ones. Husk, Velvette, Charlie, and Vox are all designs that I personally think are amplified when made chubbier or muscular and when I see them in the show I literally do a double take like *little skinny man runs past my screen* who is that did you guys see that

For the neck on Vox though, I don’t get… how?? His neck works in the show?? I know for my version of Vox his neck moves kind of like this

But uh.

Yeah none of that here. I guess you could say it’s attached at the bottom, because it is!

but also poses like this dont make sense, his neck is show behind his head but its not.

Idk, It’s a small nitpick but it’s something that bothers me too. I’m still working on some of the things for Vox like his joints and such, but Vivzie seems to put in substantially less effort than anything either of us have done

Anyway keep up the designs they look really good!!!

[utilitycaster]

ugh up too late but i was hungry after the emotional toil so. massive endgame spoilers (and I am not done, i'm going to finish tomorrow) below the cut:

what the fuck do you mean Elger'nan just moved the fucking moon.

Isle of the Gods my worstie. I was aware of the weight of the choices and knew what mine would be this run for a couple reasons but like, as a mission, it is well designed in that you feel a real growing sense of dread and panic and it's not just because i'm literally the worst at finding my way to blight boils (i gotta check screen brightness or something, I keep missing narrow beams in dark areas or some shit). The wards decision still feels bad even if I (Bellara Romancer) (Lucanis/Neve Angst Wanter) very much chose it. The Ghilan'nain fight is AWFUL just for the stress and the sheer number of attacks on you even if you, like me, are 1. in story mode and 2. literally are encased in the heaviest armor that exists and took the full Survival Skill Suite. Like it turns into "my health is fine but i literally cannot physically reach the blight boils bc of attacks unless i use my hardcore aoe abilities constantly".

Mind prison RIPS actually. I say this as someone who had no emotional attachment to Varric bc I had not Dragoned any Ages and who'd seen the spoiler and was like oh makes sense; feels really bad. Also Neve is mad at me, as always; Davrin wasn't, which feels worse.

every single companion's light was on except Lucanis's and Bellara's, but Neve and Davrin's were. Just excellent acting across the board honestly; Taash is absolutely devastated and you can tell Emmrich is too even though the response of a 50-something in the Mourn Watch is rather different from the response of a person in their 20s in a cool pirate club. Harding is calm in that way where you get the sense she had to keep people together. Lucanis is furious and grieving both of them hard. The scene with Varric's belongings in the infirmary was absolutely gutting as was the scene in Davrin's room.

Romance with Bellara was very sweet. Girl you spoke Dalish to me before kissing me idk what the fuck you said but a very lovely scene. Then I went back to go to the Sad Dinner Table Scene and Bellara's light was on and she was ALSO devastated about Neve. Davrin's light was also still on, and it was because there's three separate remembrance opportunities and I only got two the first time but GOD was that rough.

did not realize the table scene was the planning scene where you can fuck it up lmao. I do not believe I did; the first two options seemed pretty obvious and the third was like, well, hope it works.

and that is where I am now. good night. good lord.

[bisluthq]

urgh and if my life can't get more annoyingly complicated - fucking SUSAN surfaced and wants to be friends again. and like she phoned me in a state (standard susan behaviour let's be real here) and was like crying and shit and i was like "dude i can't come over because i live in the city at the moment and you live fuck far and it's like 23:00 like dude just fucking idk SOBER THE FUCK UP and maybe then you won't need people coming over at 23:00 to hold your fucking hand???" Like look at me lmao I'm fucking INSANE you know BATSHIT CRAZY but you know how many people I call at 23:00? fucking not even fg. we sign off like 21:00 latest because we're not together, we just have a super weird relationship. anyway so susan is in a state and crying about how i'm like her only friend and how badly i hurt her and again i'm like "ok but can we self-reflect on WHY i am your only friend??? BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT MINE!???? YOU ARE NOT EVEN ONE OF MY FAVOURITE FRIENDS???? YOU STRESS ME THE FUCK OUT??" i'm taking a break from vicky, but like i mean.... she was/is annoying and i guess i mostly like to idk sit alone doing my little nat things so that was stressful because of like the constant stuff yk but i also have like idk other friends. susan does not. which is why susan calls me at 23:00 like crying and shit.

i didn't obviously tell her the thing about like "can we self-reflect on why i am your only friend" but i woke up to like 8 messages from her and idk why she did that (i do, susan is fucking insane) and what i HAD said to her is like "ya ok susan we can be friends again, but like here's how this is gonna work - i live FAR FROM YOU now. I can't come over just to like rescue you. I also am VERY mentally ill and working VERY hard at that and this is like my priority rn? and my secondary priority is my job because i need my job to have money to do stuff on my place which is my tertiary priority and then fourth on the list is fg because like idk that's still very complicated and then like fifth on the list is my family and sixth on the list are my creative projects, which does tie back to primary priority, so we get to seventh priority which is then my friends. it's really not a top five priority for me right now."

so like WHY MUST I WAKE UP TO EIGHT MESSAGES FROM YOUR ASS? fucking I don't send 8 messages in a row to ANYONE lol like except when i was super manic (full episode ykwim) and then I texted fucking ESSAYS to my parents, fg, and dr blank space. probably easily did like 8 in a row. but also i was... manic....

i did also say to susan last night like "bestie, do you think maybe you should go to a shrink because here's my take: if you take your meds and you don't drink or drink minimally, tons of things stop being problems" and she took offence as always and was like "no but that's your thing, I am not crazy" and i was like ya ok i am crazy but i'm not the one calling you crying at 23:00 after i... did not speak to your for 5 months on account of how you were stressing me out too much? and that was BEFORE we got the full episode on record. that was like my regular "i don't need this much stress in my life" decision. NOW i'm making like "i can't get overstimulated because what if THAT BAD THING happens again?" so idk.

but i also feel like i can't ditch her tbh because she doesn't seem to want to be ditched lmao and also she has like 0 other friends. so like. i'm not a monster lmao. like obviously i'll talk to her. but it's just SO ANNOYING. why are people CONTINUOUSLY so fucking annoying? an investigation by me, nat.

and then like the WORST PART of all this friend drama - vicky and that bullshit, now susan and what will be a literally limitless treasure trove of insane ass bullshit - is i'm legit sitting here minding my own business? i start NONE of this shit. all i want to do is like idk go to work, go to the cinema, work on my writing, work on my apartment, move into my apartment because i legit can't afford what i'm doing rn like i'm... now officially not going on holiday this year lol because i do not and will not have money to do that, read my little books, and do drugs (but like solo as i explained like just because i think it's very interesting and my brain is a weird and interesting place). like that's LITERALLY all i want. i also feel like i have enough friends? dr blank space is fuck far which sucks, but phones exist for this exact reason. my hs bestie now lives close to me and her dad has cancer and like so we're not really gonna hang often but i did help her the other day and drop shit off at her house and obviously that's like a 20 year friendship. and then i have like five other friends who actively don't stress me out who i talk to like once a week. so like. i don't get why this is something i'm having to deal with.

i make fun of fg's saviour complex but we fucking found one another because mine is SO bad.

[frogofalltime]

day 4

last night i didn't get to sleep until past 2am because my headache was so bad and my eyes hurt and i just felt overall weird. i also had a nightmare. as a result i felt pretty awful and not well rested at all when i woke up.

this morning i had to go to a doctors appointment at 11:45 so my alarm was at 10am. i procrastinated for half an hour, then got up and ate breakfast and took my meds and got ready to leave the house

i got into a conversation about the word "normal" with my boyfriend which i normally (pun not intended) would've found interesting but today it made me slightly irritated (not your fault at all robin, i was just tired and stressed). anyway it got resolved quickly so there wasn't a problem, i just don't like how small things make me disproportionately annoyed when i'm tired

i was 2 minutes late for my doctors appointment but it was fine ! i'm getting a lot braver with going to the doctors by myself, i used to need robin or lucy to go with me every time, but now i am able to go alone.

then i went to the students union to buy some grains and seeds to feed the pigeons and my mother called me so i talked to her for a while. she was asking me about the doctors appointment and my adhd meds and stuff. it feels rude but i wished she didn't call me because i was overstimulated and wanted to go outside and see the birds.

after that an old lady asked me how the clothes swap at the students union works and i wanted to be kind so i helped her out with that and also bumped into my friend while i was there

i eventually got away from all the Humans so i went to the park and fed our flock of pigeons which was extremely fun like always. they kept pecking my fingers even when the food ran out because they were so hungry. and they are trusting me more and more every week, they let me pick them up and cuddle them now !

i thought i had a therapy appointment at 2pm so i rushed home but actually it was at 3pm so i had an extra hour to eat lunch and stuff (which is good because i was very hungry)

therapy was good but i felt very drained afterwards and did nothing for almost two hours. i just scrolled on my phone and felt bored.

i asked robin for advice because i was hungry again and it recommended me to cook a proper meal instead of trying to study while eating snacks and procrastinating dinner until 10pm which is what i've been doing lately. @etherealspacejelly you know me so well lmao

my flatmate was in the kitchen when i went to put my food in the oven. she was cooking a dish that has fish in it and the smell was really overpowering and horrible. i felt suddenly very overstimulated so after setting a timer for my food i went back to my room and turned off the light and did my prayers in the dark

then i went and collected my food and ate it while watching percy jackson which was Very fun ! i think i was a bit distracted but i mostly paid attention and went very insane about it (special interest go brrrr)

i considered doing some revision for my exams but it was already like 8pm and i was exhausted so i talked to robin for a while and then washed my dishes, took a shower, and got into bed.

overall i had an okay day, i did not study at all but i was really sleepy, irritable, and low on energy from both the doctors appointment and therapy, so i think it was justified

the headache has not been so bad today, and i'm still feeling thirsty but not as much, i guess i'm getting used to it

also i have been hungrier than usual, which is strange because they said Reduced hunger is a normal side effect, not Increased ?? but maybe it's because i suck at interoception usually, and the meds are making me better at interpreting my body's needs so i am more able to understand my hunger cues ? idk

i am extremely tired since i struggled to get to sleep the last few nights, so i'm hoping i will get more sleep tonight and feel more refreshed in the morning. goodnight :)

[lunicho]

Saw this on another blog and wanted to send it to you too ☺️

Pick any 5 moots and describe them using 3 words! <3

ooh this is so cute, i love when ppl ask me to talk abt my moots cuz i love bragging about them!! the hard part is picking 5 moots to do this with hmm

@adoresol - passionate, honest, and devoted. i have actually been good friends with her for a good like four years now i think omg so there's many words to describe her but i think these are the best ones for now. she feels deeply and is very genuine in her emotions which is something i admire about her. she's also extremely honest, i love this about her because if i ask her something she'll be straight up with me. she's also very devoted bc like why is she still my friend LMAOOO she's so loyal and just like!?!?!?!?!?!??! my pookie wookie bear fr, i've told her so much cheesy corny shit abt how i feel abt our friendship so i'll spare y'all

@kissohee - its so hard to describe her with just three words! but i would say chaotic, lovable, and genuine. i never feel stress when talking to her and we've grown comfortable with one another quite quickly. i think we just have had this connection from the beginning and she just made me so so comfortable. she's also so loveable like im gonna hold her hand fr she's so cute. and she's so genuine, i always feel that she means everything that she says and it makes me even more comfy with her. she's also just like me we're both so random and we both talk a lot so its the perfect pace for me. the convos are always so fast like idk if ppl would be able to keep up with us and how much we switch topics LMAO but yeah! i hope that we just get closer and closer in the future and that she's always happy <3 (also open-minded would be a rlly good one for her but only her and i know why and that's the way its gonna stay LMAO)

@sminiac - saiii!!! i never include her in my moots posts so i wanted to this time :3! i'm gonna say kind, inviting, and adorable. she's literally so so kind, everytime i send smth or interact with her she's like "my dearest bunny!" AND IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY SO SO HAPPY!! she's always so sweet to me and like idk smth abt her is just so adorable. plus her blog rn is so adorable i love the layout. i do still get anxious to send too much stuff and things like that but ur so so welcoming and inviting that ik im always welcome but im scared to be annoying LMAOGDJ. i hope we can yap more and more abt 8turn tgt and just chat some more!!

@bubblegyu00 - energetic, humorous, and chatty,, our convos are extremely fast paced and go on for the entire day. i'm always laughing at smth or we're always losing it over smth someone did (usually a zb1 member or nicho tbh). she's energetic and keeps up with my pace and i do the same with hers. she also makes me laugh which is why i said she's humorous. we're always going on and on abt the same 3 things yet we never get tired of it like its gonna eat every single time PLS. BUT YEAH she's super fun, her nonnie to friend storyline is very very iconic and i love that for her. can't wait to keep screaming about kyungmin over and over <33

@xhdream - we've started to talk in the dms now and dinna's such a sweet girlie :(. i would describe her as easy-going, charming, and friendly. dinna's sooo so cute and always so sweet to me and she has been since the beginning. talking to her has been so fun so far cuz she's very approachable and she engages in the conversation so so much. our time difference is very big so we have to catch each other at a specific time but it's worth it everytime. there's just something about her that's so fun and so kind and that's why i said she's charming. her and her blog just have this good and sweet energy that i really really enjoy <3