#ILL NEVER SMILE AGAIN WILL ALWAYS MAKE ME SOB

[sir-meows-a-lot]

WHAT do you guys know about my boy Frank Sinatra !!!

[xxbimbobunnyxx]

You’ll Never Be A Burden

(Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)

Summary: When you can’t get out of bed, answer your phone, or shake the feeling of hopelessness your boyfriend is there to reassure you that he will always be there for you no matter what. WK: 1.6k moodboard

Warnings: Talk of mental illness, depression, feeling unloved/unworthy of love, not being able to get out of bed, insomnia, food mention, hurt/comfort, Eddie being the sweetest sweetie. Just all around this is centered around mental illness and how it feels to be too depressed to get out of bed. Please let me know if I missed any. Also I wrote this in one sitting so there’s probably typos. 18+MDNI

A/N: I don’t specifically mention a certain mental illness but for me this is how it feels when I’m having a BPD episode. So for me this symbolizes borderline depression but it can apply to any type of depression or mental low. I’ve been really going through it lately, so I just harnessed how I feel into writing this and it was very therapeutic. I wish Eddie could come hold me.

You weren’t sure how long you’ve been laying in bed in between awake and asleep at this point. A few hours? A day? Two? All you know is that the clock on your nightstand reads 2:48AM and you have been trying to force your brain to shut off since it read 8PM. You tried everything to calm the war raging inside your mind. You took so many deep breaths at this point you lost count, you pulled all the blankets over your head and tightened your body into the smallest ball you possibly could, you rocked back and forth while you repeated your mantra of “you’re okay” to yourself over and over again. But no matter what you did you couldn’t stop the negative thoughts from swimming around inside you.

You hated when you got like this. Overcome by this feeling of hopelessness. The feeling of shame. Loneliness. Not being able to shake the feeling as if you’re a burden to everyone around you. So you isolate yourself. Not wanting to drag anyone down with your negativity, not wanting to lash out at the people who are just trying to help you, not being able to bear the feeling of being alone in a room full of people.

Your friends had all texted and called you, social media notifications and voicemails piling up. Not even being able to muster up the energy to pick up the phone and respond to the one person you knew would make you feel better. So instead you thought of him. The way his beautiful eyes lit up when a smile spread across his lips. The way it felt to have his arms around you, his smell, his soothing voice. It’s what kept you going on days like this. Him.

Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to pick up the phone. To ask him to come hold you. You were embarrassed, embarrassed of the disaster your house has become, embarrassed of your unbrushed teeth and messy hair, the pajama pants that felt like they were stuck to your body. You didn’t want him to see you like this. He’s only ever seen you like this once, and he was amazing, perfect even. But to this day you beat yourself up over those days he took care of you, washed you, held you while you sobbed, read to you in exaggerated voices until you dozed off with your head in his lap and his fingers in your hair.

You know he wouldn’t mind, that he was happy to help you, be there for you. But you were so scared of him seeing you differently and changing his mind about you. You were terrified that if he saw the real you, truly, that he would leave. You’d become too much, too little, never the right amount, just like you always did.

That’s why when you heard a knock on your door your heart race picked up, you felt your skin flush, because you knew it was him. You knew he’d come, you knew he’d be worried and you can’t decide if worrying him to the point that he showed up at your door or just texting him back was worse. You heard him knock lightly on the door a few more times before you heard the key you had given him turning the lock.

“Baby? Are you here? I just came to check on you… haven’t heard from you since yesterday morning and I was starting to worry.”

His voice became louder as he talked, his footsteps padding down the hall to your bedroom door. Your head was still shoved under your blankets so you didn’t see him but you heard the knob turn and the door swing open.

“Sweetheart…”

Eddie’s heart nearly shattered when he opened your bedroom door. Your room was trashed, the black out curtains drawn blocking out the moonlight, and even your fairy lights you always had on, even in the night, were shut off. He couldn’t see you, but he could see the outline of you and hear your breathing. He walks over to your bed and sits on the side next to the lump of blankets you’ve buried yourself in. His hand comes up and runs along your side and it causes you to jump.

“Baby… please let me help you? Let me take care of you. I know you’re scared of being a burden but you’re never a burden to me.” He continued to run his hand up and down your body, the feeling already causing your body to subconsciously relax just the tiniest bit. “Can you come out? Please? I wanna see my girl.”

“I look horrible Eddie… I don’t want you to see me like this.” You pull the blanket tighter against you, shutting him out no matter how loud your body screamed at you to just throw yourself into his arms.

“I’ve seen you wasted, vomiting your guts out in Harrington’s bathtub, it can’t be much worse than that baby. Come oooonnnnn pleeeseee. I’m not above begging.”

He chuckles, his hand squeezing your hip lightly before it resumes caressing you. You sigh, pulling the blanket back just enough to peak your eyes out and him and your heart swells. He’s so beautiful, just the sight of him made butterflies erupt in your stomach. Just being near him made you feel just a little bit more alive. He pushes the blanket the rest of the way off your head, smoothing your hair out of your face.

“There’s my beautiful girl. Hi baby.”

He cups your face in his hand, running his thumb along your sweaty cheek, not caring if you think you look awful, you’re always gorgeous to him. Even like this. Especially like this. Raw and real. He wants you to feel safe with him when you’re in this low place. He wants to sink down to your level and pull you back up with his hand in yours. Eddie would do anything for you. He knows that scares you, he knows you want to believe him but it’s hard to fight the feeling that he’s going to abandon you. But he will do whatever it takes to prove you wrong. To prove that he isn’t like everyone else. To prove that he will stay.

“Hi.” Your voice comes out a scratchy and whiney and it makes you even more embarrassed than you already are. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? You have nothing to be sorry for sweetheart. I’m here for you, always. I brought your favorite snacks, bubbles, and your favorite teddy bear, me. Come here, let me hold you.”

He pushes the blanket back further and you shiver when the cool air of your room hits your body. He holds his arms out to you and your whole body tingles. He’s here for you. He wants to be here for you, and even though that terrifies you, the soft look on his face makes you feel safe. He makes you feel safe. You push yourself up and he grabs you by the forearms pulling you into his lap and cradling you like a small child.

As soon as his arms are around you the floodgates open, sobs leaving your entire body shaking while your tears soak Eddie’s t-shirt. He doesn’t say anything for a while, just holds you while you cry, running his hands through your tangled hair, caressing your skin under your oversized shirt, kissing on your tear stained cheeks. After a while your sobs turn to small cries before they finally stop.

“It’s okay baby girl, you’re okay. I’m here for you, okay? Let me run us a nice bath, afterwards you can eat something, only if you want, if not that’s okay, I just want you to drink some water for me okay?”

“Okay Eddie… thank you, I-“

“Shh, you don’t have to thank me and you don't need to apologize, I’m your boyfriend and I love you, let me be here for you.” He smiles sweetly at you, rubbing the remaining tears from your cheeks and gathering you in his arms.

Eddie spends the night making good on his promises. He pampers you in the bath, washing you and brushing your hair, even putting lotion on your skin afterwards. He puts your comfort movie on tv in the living room so you can lay on the couch while he makes your safe meal. He doesn’t push you to talk, he knows you will when you’re ready. He holds you and tells you he loves you while he makes commentary on your favorite movie. When you finally start to feel sleep creeping up on you he ushers you back to your bed, the sheets now changed because he insisted it wasn’t a big deal. He holds you tight, and kisses you over and over again. He even gets you to giggle and pulls a genuine smile out of you a few times.

As you lay there in the love of your life’s arms you feel less hopeless. You feel less alone. You feel your body start to warm inside from the tips of your toes all the way to your nose as he places a gentle kiss on it. You feel safe. You regret not calling him sooner but the fact that he came without you even asking makes it even more special to you. Your mind can tell you he doesn’t care all it wants, because he’s always there to tell you he does.

“I love you angel, get some rest, okay? I’ll be here when you wake up. I’ll always be here.”

“I love you Eddie. I know you told me not to thank you, but thank you, for being here for me. For being you.” You nuzzle your face into his neck, placing a gentle kiss there before you doze off into a peaceful sleep. In the arms of someone you know loves you.

[twstfanblog]

*~Period Drama~* Tuesday

A/N: SCREAMS. I am...SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG. We had to do double time to move out of our house since our landlords decided to fucking sell the property so we had to LEAVE. But it's done and I'm very happy with it and I hope you like it too. Enjoy~! Word Count: 6.7K Warnings: She/They Pronouns OC, Lilia does look and poke at Yuu's genitals Pairings: YuuxJamilxAzulxMalleus (Poly), (Sebek/Silver in the corner) ~Taglist (At this point I'm just adding everyone I've found who was interested in the fic XD) @twistedcece @deltrea @krenenbaker @koebishrimpuwu @cat100200 @emyluwinter @obsessionswithfandoms @ady-hilborn @lucid-stories @girl-nahh-two @itz-hydrodeptus-foxy7 @chyluna @riddlesimps @death-the-jo @a-twistedheartslonging @qixlin @chaosistheonlyway @welcome-to-my-horde @abell2029cluster @kirans-wonderland @coffee-or-hot-cocoa @the-ace-reader @iamsoconfusedallofthetime @chroniccorvus @marvelous-maxi @prolonged-eyecontact @lozplayer @jabberwocky-warrior @thateldribitch @bun-lapin @mel1rose @ladyraeka @ladyzsgolla Start, Part 2 (Octavinelle), Part 3 (Heartslabyul), Part 4 (Savanaclaw), Part 4.5 (Diasomnia pt1), Part 5 (Here)

Malleus almost always forgot he even owned a phone, meaning he basically never texted Yuu. So when his personalized text tone played Yuu was quick to stop their sobbing and open his message.

‘May I see you tomorrow?’

Short, simple, sweet, and weirdly formal. Yuu smiled, typing back quickly before the horned fae forgot he owned a phone again.

‘Sure babes. Sorry ive been mia the past few days. Not feeling well. Ill explain when i see you tomorrow.’

‘I should hope so.’

Okay, vaguely rude.

When Malleus had said tomorrow, Yuu assumed he meant during lunch or after classes. Instead, he showed up on their doorstep with his whole family unit and a grumbling Grim in tow at 8am in the goddamn morning. None of them were in uniform, clad in casual comfortable clothing. They clearly planned to spend the whole day with her instead of a simple visit.

She blinks, almost overwhelmed at the sheer…something of the current event, “Hi…It's…really early.”

Lilia smiles, tilting his head as he holds up a large and slightly weathered first aid bag, “We brought gauze!”

Silver holds out his arms, the dire beast scowling but unmoving in his grip, “And Grim.”

“Oh, what beautiful treasures…”

“Enough beating around the unwanted bush.” Malleus steps forward, hands reaching to clasp around Yuu's. Looking into their surprised eyes with determination, “What is this illness and how can I help ease you of it?”

Yuu snorted, closing her eyes in an effort to not start laughing at how seriously Malleus was taking their ‘ailment’, “It'll…It'll pass with time, Malleus. But, luckily, I'm actually feeling a lot better than yesterday.” They step to the side, managing to pull a hand free from Malleus's grip to gesture for the Diasomnia family to enter.

Silver nods his head in thanks, walking into the hall to place Grim down. The cat quickly running further in the house, remarking Yuu still smelled weird, “That's good to hear. Did you use a form of medicine to ease your symptoms?”

Yuu closes the door behind them, Malleus already firmly attached to their side. No doubt the smell of their blood making him hyper-aware of their every movement, “Yeah. Crewel gave me a lecture and a pain potion when he brought me dinner last night. Plus the guttural sobbing I've been doing. But, I think it was mainly because I finally took that body cleansing shit…”

The beat of silence almost makes Yuu burst into laughter again, the four males all looking a level of stunned before Silver shakingly spoke.

“A-ah…That's...good?”

“Yeah, it really realigned my chakras or something.”

“Okay?”

“Yuu, could you tell us exactly what is going on?” Lilia's smile was strained. He had spent most of last night racking his memory of various illnesses. Any that he knew of that dealt with bleeding were things that would have killed Yuu within the hour if they had reached that stage. But to know they'd been bleeding for days? Whatever they had managed to catch was cause for concern. But now knowing it was causing other ailments…it was either a truly deadly disease or it was evolving into one…

“Oh, it's nothing serious. Just the muscles that are causing all this-” Yuu makes a vague gesture to their lower anatomy, “- are the same muscles that handle pooping. So…it was expected to happen…”

There was another beat of silence, each male looking at Yuu's stomach, placing the pieces together slowly as they realized she gestured below her stomach.

“Why…why did you…gesture…down there?” Silver spoke slowly, eyes making quick glances between Yuu's crotch, then to Malleus's blank face, then to Sebek's tearfully bewildered expression. Is…are they…?

Malleus says what all of them were fearfully thinking, “Is the blood coming out of you from your nethers!?”

“Ye.”

Lilia stood still, eyes wide as he openly stared at Yuu's crotch. This was…he had never heard of such a thing…

Malleus's hands quickly grabbed at Yuu's hips, magic flowing from his fingers in his panicked attempts to heal what he could only fear was internal ripping, “Why did no one tell me!?”

“I don't think you should be bleeding from there, Yuu?”

“Silver. Words can not describe how badly I wish I wasn't. But, sadly, yeah, this is completely natural for me to do. I wish I wasn't. I am so full of fucking hatred right now, I am a literal danger to my and everyone else's safety.”

Lilia made quiet work of prying Malleus off of Yuu, though he was clearly still concerned himself, “It's natural to bleed out of your nethers?”

“Where I'm from? Unfortunately yes.” Yuu shrugs, holding Malleus's hand as the horned fae tried to reattach himself to their side, “The pussy is a curse and the price must be paid in blood sadly.” They say it with a level of nonchalance that only has the Diasomnia crew looking at them in worry.

Malleus grips tighter to Yuu's hand, raising it to press a gentle kiss to their knuckles, “Please, there has to be something that can be done to ease this curse…”

“...” Yuu pulled Malleus to the living room, showing the plethora of blankets and pillows on the floor. Empty bottle and snack wrappers pushed to a corner of the rug in an effort to keep the cozy area of the floor clear. Yuu gestures to the darkened room, heavy curtains closed to enhance the perfect sleep environment, “You guys can do whatever around the house. But, if you wanna join me, I was about to lay down in the dark listening to sad music and take a nap.”

Sebek sneers, eyes squinted as he mumbled out, “It's 8am…?”

Yuu whips around, ignoring Malleus's worried fretting for their neck, “Hey, Sebek? You don't need to fucking be here.”

Sebek's sneer turned into a deep frown, his expression clearly showing how badly he wanted to yell back. But with their ‘illness’, plus Malleus's protective stance, he knew he'd quicker be scolded than actually get a sentence out.

“Wow, you are more full of hate. You normally let Sebek get at least four sentences out before telling him to be quiet.” Silver moves to sit on the couch, only to realize that Yuu had removed all of the larger cushions and used them as padding for the floor.

Malleus looked over the sad state of his lover's nest, frowning before he pulled Yuu closer to ask them quietly, “Would you mind if I fixed your nest? This looks…barely functional.”

Yuu smiles, bringing a hand up to pat Malleus's face gently, “Do as you please, Peligroso.” 

Malleus kisses their palm before moving toward the mash-up of cushions, blankets, and - to his distaste - bloody towels. He first deconstructed the mess, organizing the materials he had before coming to the conclusion he needed more.

No one tried to stop Malleus as he walked out of the room, his pupils dilated as he busied himself in nest-making.

“Beastie, are you really well? Mundane for you aside, losing that much blood at a steady pace can't be good for you…” The scent of blood was off at that. Fresh blood was concerning enough, but the smell of old blood was not good if one was actively bleeding.

Yuu waves their hand, sneaking a towel from Malleus's separated piles to sit on, “No need to worry Lils; Crewel’s made sure I've been taking iron supplement potions, plus I'm still taking the multivitamin Riddle demanded I start at the beginning of the year once our beef ended.”

Malleus returns, bulks of blankets and pillows floating behind him into the room. He quickly turns a sharp eye toward Yuu, seeing one of the cleaner towels had been taken from his nest piles. But at seeing their smile, he could only sigh and begin building.

Lilia clicks his tongue, holding the old medical bag in his hands, “Well, I'm not sure how useful this gauze is going to be then if it coming out from such an area…I'm not sure you're open to the idea of it…being inserted.”

“I'm not.”

“Fair.” Lilia removed the bag from his shoulder, allowing it to drop to the ground. Walking closer to Malleus, yet still a few feet away, he started to teasingly offer his unwanted opinion of how his ‘mate’ would like the nest to look.

Silver and Sebek took seats on the ground closer to Yuu, the second year pulling the medical bag into his lap as he started to look through it, “While the gauze may be useless, I think there's some pain ointment still in here. Possibly a potion but it's long bitter by now…Oh.”

From inside the bag, Silver pulled out a simple arm cuff attached to a hand pump and dial. It looked old, but the metal holding it together still shined, “Lend me your arm, I want to check your blood pressure.”

“My blood pressure? Why?” Yuu still held their arm out, letting Silver gently clasp the cuff to their lower bicep, “I haven't felt light headed.”

“You might not have noticed if you've been bleeding as long as you have…” he starts to pump the bulb, the cuff growing tighter, “Just see it as a way for me to get peace of mind…”

Silver and Sebek watch the needle, their expressions slowly turning concerned at the reading.

Sebek whispered under his breath, one of his eyes twitching in annoyance as he reread the result, “Why is it high?”

Yuu blinked, looking at the dial before turning to Silver, “Yeah, that's…normal.”

“...Really?”

“I don't know, man. I'm 15, I've never had to know what my normal blood pressure is.”

Silver sighed, deflating the cuff and removing it, “Did you never take notice of it when you went to the doctor for check ups?”

“Silver, baby boy, I haven't been to the doctor since I was in elementary school. Do you not know how expensive a doctor appointment is?”

“I really hate when you say things like that…” Silver still didn't understand how a simple doctor's visit cost money. It was a universal service, all they'd have to do was walk into the nearest office and simply wait.

Yuu hummed, nodding her head, “I forget that you guys have free healthcare here…I kinda just conditioned myself to be ok with dying since the doctor was so expensive where I'm from.”

Silver sighed, fingers pressing against his temple, “Please, curb that habit. For all of our sakes…”

“You got a will to live in there then?”

“...” Silver looks through the bag, managing to pull out an antique-looking locket that held a graying, grainy photo of a confused-looking Malleus on one side and a more vivid photo of a sleeping infant Silver on the other, “I think this is what father uses?”

“Oh my god?” Yuu couldn't stop the bubbling laughter that started when they spoke. They cover their mouth and gently bring the locket closer to look at the photos. Only now do they realize Malleus in the photo has a small circlet of a crown on his forehead. There was no telling how old the photo was, possibly in a time the first camera was even made and Lilia got his hands on one.

They snort, letting the locket swing from their hand and allow Silver to place it back in the bag, “Ok…that works. I now have the strength to carry on.” From the corner of their eye, they can see Sebek's stern gaze staring into the side of their face, “Yes, Sebek? Can you be helped?”

The half-faes's face pinches together harder, lip curling up into a scowl as he looks away briefly. His mild avoidance was short-lived, turning back to Yuu with an expression of concern, “You're…You're okay now, correct?”

At Yuu and Silver's stunned expressions, Sebek grows more timid, thumbs twiddling together as he clasped his hands, “Ace’s texts didn't give much info. But even knowing that…that didn’t transpire, this is still a worrying state of affairs.” Sebek looks up from his hands, staring into Yuu's eyes with steady resolve, “We have our differences more than anything. But I count you as my comrade in ensuring Waka-Sama’s happiness. Your continued good health would be in the best interest of all!”

It was no secret that Yuu and Sebek did not get along. Their first official meeting was a brawl that neither walked away from unscathed (and Sebek left the fight with a secret he'd be taking to his grave under Lilia's instructions). They bickered, fought, and openly slandered each other every chance they got. Truely, the only things keeping them from killing each other were the facts they shared the same friend group and that Yuu was romantically involved with Malleus. Yuu was sure without those factors, Sebek would have actually declared them an enemy of Briar Valley itself.

So to see and hear the other first-year state that he was concerned was jarring at best. 

Yuu stared at Sebek, the half-fae looking at them with an open and vulnerable expression as he waited for their truth. Honestly, were they ok? It'd been only a few days but this felt like the worst period Yuu had ever had. And seeing how their flow wasn't easing as it normally would, they were sure it was going to be longer than normal too. They were in pain, everyone was treating them as though they would shatter at the slightest inconvenience. They were free bleeding of all things…but, their friends cared and were each trying to make things better. 

Azul and the Tweels had basically tried to cater their every meal, though they kept their distance; mer noses were so sensitive to blood after all. Crewel would come in the evenings with medication and conversation. Riddle was compiling a list of some kind with Jade, but he was using info from their “interview” to figure out ways to ease their symptoms. Ace and Deuce had both swore to actually take notes for once so that they wouldn't fall behind in their classes. Trey had texted a number of times, sneakily trying to gauge their temperament so he could ambush them with baked goods. Cater had sent several photos of wet, angry, disheveled-looking cats with the caption ‘this u?’ whenever they were in a bad mood.

Even just yesterday, Jack had basically appointed himself as their bodyguard, not allowing anyone closer than 2 feet from their person. Ruggie had gone into nursemaid mode and Yuu was mildly terrified at how prepared and willing he was to help them deliver a baby. Even Leona's lazy ass had helped. Held them while they cried all the way to their dorm, calling them at midnight just to check if they were sleeping and not up alone with their thoughts.

And now, the Diasomnia family unit had brought them a first aid kit. Not the correct move, but a show of concern either way. Looking into Sebek's face only cemented how cared for they were by their forged family. Yuu opened their mouth slightly as though to speak, waiting as Sebek perked up, leaning closer to fully hear what they were about to say.

Instead of words, all that escaped Yuu's mouth was a burp that traveled directly into Sebek's face.

The half-fae sputters, annoyance growing at Silver's near silent ‘Excuse you’ to the other human. He wiped at his face as though he could remove the air, growling before he pointed a finger at Yuu's smug little grin, “You should have been killed when your mother birthed you!”

“Sebek.”

Sebek quickly placed his hand in his lap, frowning hard as he looked down in an odd mixture of shame and anger. Malleus had turned around and scolded him almost instantly. The dragon fae was frowning, eyes filled with a disappointment only an older sibling could give. He stared long enough until Sebek finally relented and spoke through gritted teeth at Yuu.

“My deepest apologies. You are injured and I have no reason to…antagonize you. Please, forgive me…”

“Did that hurt to say, Sebek?”

Silver placed a hand on Yuu's shoulder, trying to not sigh or laugh their antics, “Yuu…”

Yuu smiled, tilting their head and nodding, “Apology accepted, Sebek. Just don't be mean to me, okay~?”

Translation; I'm going to milk this for your whole visit.

Sebek's frown curled so tight it could only be called a pout. But seeing how he didn't speak further, Yuu turned to speak directly to the 3rd years only to choke mildly at the new impressive structure taking up space adjacent to the fireplace.

What was once their sad faux floor bed set up was a large blanket nest. Pillows tastefully lining the sides for support and comfort, blankets laid together to cover the couch cushions while some were still free to wrap in. A large throw blanket suspended in the air by magic cloaks the whole structure like an open tent. It looked cozy, it looked inviting. Yuu almost hated how proud Malleus looked of his work.

“...” Yuu rolled their eyes, trying to hide their blush as they turned away from Malleus's increasingly smug face, “Ok, your nest is very impressive. Are you proud of yourself?”

“Not until you are in it.”

Lilia spoke quietly, eyes giving Malleus a playful warning look as he chuckled, “Remember you two, we're here with you…”

Yuu laughs, standing from their towel and stretching, “Alright, nap time.” They take care to place down the towel, climbing into the nest and making themselves comfortable in the structure. They had no actual animal-based DNA, but they felt the need to curl up and sleep for DAYS from their new cozy spot. Malleus had built the nest well.

Opening their eyes, they could barely stop the snort that tried to escape them. Malleus was pressed against the side of the nest, eyes wide and focused on them. Yuu tilted their head, smiling widening as Malleus tilted his head in response, “You wanna join me?”

The question makes Malleus lean back, eyes almost bulging out of his head before he manages to school his features, “So bold…As always.” He laughs from behind his hand, “I’m happy to see you are in better spirits compared to yesterday.”

Yuu casts him a confused glance, wondering just when the dragon fae had seen them yesterday. While Malleus made himself comfortable beside them, they looked at the remaining Diasomnia unit standing at attention around the nest, “You guys coming in?”

Lilia snorts, ignoring Mallues’s glare demanding they refuse Yuu’s invitation, “Are you sure, Beastie? We wouldn’t want to intrude…” His eyes lock on Malleus’s, communicating silently that if Yuu invited them into their nest, it’d be rude to deny their request.

“I mean I invited you in the first place.” They gesture to the empty space beside them and Malleus, “Plus, this thing has room for like four more people…”

Malleus mumbles under his breath, an arm wrapping around Yuu’s middle and bringing them closer to his body to nuzzle into their hair, “Or eight children…”

“What?”

“Hm?” Malleus pulls from their hair, smiling at their confused face before making himself comfortable against them again.

Lilia actually laughs this time, “Well, if you insist.”

Everyone climbs into the nest; Lilia pressed against Malleus’s side with Silver beside him already half asleep. Sebek had begrudgingly made his place beside Yuu, huffing as the human offered their hand to hold. Neither of them speaking when Sebek does grip their hand gently. Once everyone had seemed cozy, Yuu retrieved their phone from their pajama pants pockets, opening their ‘sad times’ playlist to start playing music. But the sound of a thud rings out from the kitchen, everyone turning to the noise in mild suspense. Soon, Grim enters the room with a bag of cookies clutched in his mouth.

Yuu raises an eyebrow but helps Grim climb his way into the nest, the cat curling up against their side squished between them and Sebek, “Was that you? Did you fall off of something-hold on.” They grab the bag of cookies from Grim, frowning once they realize what they were holding, “Are these the good cookies? You little shit, you said you ate the last of them!”

Grim grumbled, curling up tighter to Yuu’s side and swatting at their hand tugging on his ear, “I lied! You always hog them so when you left one day I hid them to snack on myself…But…” He huffed, looking at them from the corner of his eyes, “I think you need them more than I do…”

“...” Yuu sniffled, fanning their face as tears started to build in their eyes, “Grim…Grim…” They take a shuddering breath, ignoring the others watching them in worry, “I already threw up like twice yesterday from crying so hard, I’m not doing it again.”

“Parden?” Malleus’s brows creased. When did they throw up!? Just how severe was this illness?

Yuu waves his concerns off, tapping onto their ‘Sad Vibes’ playlist, setting it to shuffle before they connect to the lounge speakers, “It's not important, Malleus. I'm not gonna cry. We're gonna lay down in the dark and listen to sad songs and sleep.”

Sebek mumbles from beside Yuu, his free hand petting a softly purring Grim, “That seems to be the perfect setting to cry in…?”

Lilia gives Yuu a worried glance but doesn't agree nor disagree. He instead places a hand on Malleus’s shoulder, a silent effort to calm the dragon's fussing, “Well, if we're going to listen to music, just none of that Mitsuki woman please…”

Silver blinks his eyes open, tiredly looking to Lilia, “But I like the dog song.”

“...” Lilia sighs, his arm moving to wrap around Silver's shoulders and bringing him closer, “I…I know…”

Yuu tearfully laughed, laying their head onto a softly fretting Malleus. Their weak laughter breaks from teary into genuine amusement as the first song starts.

My baby, my baby…

Leaning over Malleus, snickering as the dragon fae gently presses her head back down to his chest as a silent command to sleep, Yuu whispers to Lilia, “I’m sorry…”

Lilia’s smile is strained, his grip on a sleeping Silver slowly increasing as he fought against his own emotions, “No you're not…”

The nap lasted far too long, Malleus thought to himself. The dragon fae didn't actually sleep, but he kept watch of his family as they did. Silver of course slept, curled up in Lilia's intense embrace before the bat general eased into a light sleep. Though Sebek had been the most against the nap, he had dozed off not long after Silver. One hand still gripping onto Yuu’s while the other resting on a snoring Grim's back.

Yuu was out almost immediately after Sebek, a content smile on their face as they curled up to Malleus's chest. A smile he watched slowly fade through the hours. A common occurrence as one slept, something he's learned from years of watching Silver. What concerned him were the twitches and grimaces of pain that started to increase the longer they stayed asleep. He didn't want to wake Lilia to ask for advice, the older fae having spent most of his night in worry over Yuu's condition and it didn't help he wasn't a morning person normally.

But if the discomfort was enough to affect Yuu's sleep, it was no wonder they felt the need to nap so early in the morning. They possibly hadn't slept the night before from pain alone. He had spent a few moments thinking how he could help, an arm around their waist and a hand pressed to their lower stomach to ease magic from his fingertips. His healing magic wasn't nearly as refined as he wanted. No matter how much magic he poured in, there were no wounds to be closed on the surface. But he could feel how Yuu would curl into his palm, almost trying to trap the heat close to them.

So for the past two hours he laid in a nest with his fiancé, his father, his brother, his brother's ‘friend’, and a cat; palm pressed just above his lover's mysteriously bleeding anatomy to act as a glorified hot water bottle.

Though he had no true method of knowing, he felt as though his grandmother was laughing at his predicament.

And while he did find the lyrics and vocals of Miss Amy Lee to be rather enchanting, he felt relieved to hear the music stop playing abruptly and a shrill beeping take its place. He couldn't help but smile, listening to everyone minus Silver groan at the sound of the alarm. Lilia huffed, snuggling his nose into Silver's hair while the human knight remained perfectly asleep. Sebek had pouted but still sat up, blinking in mild confusion as to where he was. Yuu had tried to bury their head in the space between his arm and chest, a hand reaching out blindly to no doubt silence the alarm.

As much as Malleus enjoyed his loved ones sleeping peacefully around him, he didn't think letting them sleep anymore was the correct choice. He smiled, easily catching Yuu's hand to gently kiss their knuckles, “My dear. I do believe your nap is over now.”

Yuu groans, but doesn't try to pull away, “At least turn the alarm off…”

Lilia clicks his tongue, finally pulling away from Silver to sleepily reach for Yuu's still blaring phone, “I got it…”

“Thanks-ack!” They were batted in the face by Grim's increasingly annoyed tail, the dire beast fighting to stay asleep from the rising noise. A move that had Yuu sneezing after a few moments.

The fae and Grim instantly snapped to attention. Yuu's sneeze was quickly followed by an overwhelming scent of blood. The sudden change in the atmosphere instantly waking Silver. Sebek had tightened his grip on Yuu's hand, almost as though he were helping them to brace against pain. Grim scrambled away from their side, moving to frown and shake from the other side of Sebek.

Malleus brought both his arms to wrap around Yuu's body. How could he let his guard down in such a way? They were sick. Why did he assume a nap was the correct choice to make? They should be in the care of a professional. Now they had clearly torn something, or something had hemorrhaged and they were bleeding out internally-

Lilia turned the alarm off, quickly kneeling and placing his hands on Yuu's knees, “Yuu, I know you said this was natural. But this is concerning. As your future midwife, I implore you allow me to check there isn't actual damage to yourself.”

“I- Lilia, I'm fine. I just sneezed.” Sneezing on one’s period was never nice, sure. Yuu fully felt as though they just forced out half their bladder even though they knew that wasn't the case. “It happens sometimes. The clenching just makes blood come out.”

Malleus growls, his arms tightening around Yuu's body. Lilia was right. No matter how much Yuu claimed it was normal and routine, they shouldn't be bleeding like this, “My love, please. Let him check. Lilia has more medical training than possibly anyone on campus. Just allow him to check.”

“Malleus-”

“Please…” Malleus pleads, concern clear on his and the other's face.

“...” Yuu rolls their eyes but starts to shimmy their pajama pants down, “Fine. If it'll calm you down.”

Sebek and Silver instantly look away, though both shuffle closer in an act to box Yuu in so that no one else could see the human’s privates.

Lilia was quiet, eyes looking unblinkingly at what he could only describe a mess. He was careful, only touching Yuu's anatomy for brief moments to send pings of magic through the flesh to search for opened wounds. But other than the blood he couldn't find anything that would call for concern. Leaning back he sighed, bringing the back of his hand to rub at his eyes, “By the Seven, this is a mess…”

“Wow, Lilia. I'm so happy you're here to stare into my abyss and call it a fucking mess.” Yuu glared, hoping their voice carried just how annoyed they were, “Really, I'm so glad.”

“My apologies, Beastie. I just haven't seen a vagina in this bloody a state since Sebek was born…”

Sebek half turned around, expression vaguely disgusted and horrified, “What?”

Yuu snorts, shaking Sebek’s hand still holding theirs in a way of gaining his attention, “Wow, Sebek, way to wreck your mom’s pussy.”

Sebek retaliated, using their still joined hands to twist and force Yuu’s arm into a painful bend. Yuu had quickly tried to escape his hold, both by wiggling their trapped arm and also using their free hand to slap at Sebek’s face while making repeated yelps of pain. Sebek had managed to dodge only a few hits until a bolt of lightning hit just outside, the flash sending the room into a blinding state before the light faded. Malleus glared down at Sebek, silently demanding the half-fae release his fiance.

Once freed, Yuu instantly pointed toward Sebek while looking at Lilia with wide eyes. Their tone coming out vaguely whining and childish, “He twisted my arm!”

Sputtering, Sebek looked between Yuu and Lilia. Pointing back at her while he looked at Lila pleading that he hears him out, “She talked about my mother’s vagina!”

“...” Lilia sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose before speaking, “Sebek, don’t twist Yuu’s arm; she’s already in pain. Yuu, don’t talk about Sebek’s mother’s vagina; you know he doesn’t like that.”

“Did that hurt to say?” Silver looked at his father, half joking but delivered in such a painfully serious way that Lilia could only sigh harder.

Malleus’s expression only grew more concerned, arms wrapping tighter around Yuu and allowing his palms to heat a bit more. He only relaxed as Yuu themselves eased a bit more in his hold, “Yuu, please. Tell me what is causing this, If not for your own sake, but my own, I need to know. I have never been more distressed and on edge than these past few days. It isn't helpful either that you continue to be nonchalant, I dare say you've hurt my feelings with how you've been handling this…

“...” Yuu takes their time to pull their pajama pants back up, moving to sit up fully to look at Malleus directly, “Malleus, you're completely valid for feeling upset with me about all of this. In hindsight, I really should have just told you guys instead of disregarding Crewel’s attempts to keep this on the downlow for the sake of campus sanity. I fucked up, I will take that L. But I want you to know and consider that I have been in pain, tired, sad, and enraged both consistently and erratically for days. Do you really think the correct choice right now is to complain to me…about how my period…is making you feel?”

…

Malleus blinked, eyes darting to Lilia who only shook his head at Malleus's silent question. He looked down, then back to Yuu who was staring at him silently, almost waiting for him to answer incorrectly, “...I would still like to discuss this at a later date…when you are well again.”

“I'll make sure to set a meeting up with Azul, so that we both remember. Thank you for understanding…” Yuu's mood does a 180, now smiling and trying to stand from Malleus's arms, “Anyway, it's like noon now right? I know I have a bunch of stale tortillas and shredded cheese in the kitchen so we can make quesadillas-”

Malleus refused to remove his arms from around Yuu, basically pulling the human back into his lap, “I would like to speak about why you're dodging my question though.”

Yuu hummed, looking up to Malleus's face as they slowly twisted a strand of their hair, “...What are you talking about?”

“You are…well aware of what I've been asking you.”

“I'm really not.”

“Yuu-”

“You're sounding crazy right now.”

Malleus scoffs, rolling his eyes playfully, “Don't attempt to gaslight me. I keep asking you what caused this ailment or how I can ease this plague and you…don't answer me.” Malleus narrows his eyes, arms wrapping tighter against Yuu's body when they subtly tried to move away from him again, “Do you simply wish to…not tell me?”

“...” Yuu sighed, resting their head against Malleus’s shoulder. They smile, looking up into his eyes with a soft affection, “You know I love you right?”

“Your feminine wiles aren't getting you out of this. Answer my question.”

Silver speaks up, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes, “Malleus, they may not have an answer as to what caused it…”

Sebek grunts from Yuu's side, eyes casting a worried look back to the other freshman's covered anatomy, “If they don't know what caused it then that's even more concerning. This could be a serious medical emergency and we're all twiddling our thumbs because the one who's ill says they're fine.”

“I am fine. I just…don't wanna say why this happens…”

Lilia perks up, raising an eyebrow as he rests his chin on Yuu's now pressed together knees, “So this illness is triggered?”

“Yes? No?” Yuu huffs, raising their hands in a form of defeat, “It just happens man. But like…for a reason.”

Malleus frowned, almost pouting as he gently moved Yuu's chin to make them look directly into his eyes, “Yuu. My dear. I'm deeply concerned. Please, just tell me what causes this so we may prevent it…”

“...” Yuu sighs, closing their eyes before opening them, “...This happens when I don't get pregnant.”

…

Silver fully turns to Yuu, eyes focusing on the other human as though he could physically see through what he begged was a lie, “Are…Are you serious?”

“Like the fucking heart attack that will take Sebek out one day.”

“Hey-”

“Oh!” Malleus smiles, his eyes shining to the point Yuu was certain they were glowing, “This is easily fixed then.”

Yuu continued to smile, shaking their head knowing what the dragonfae was going to suggest, “...Malleus…”

“I simply need to impregnate you. Then you won't be affected by this plague again.”

“...” Yuu sighed, “No…”

“...” Malleus's expression falls back into an angered pout, “Why not?”

“It doesn't work that way…”

“...” His expression deepens, “How does it not ‘work that way’ exactly?”

Lilia patted Yuu's leg, flicking his head toward the entryway of the lounge as a silent command to Sebek and Silver, “We're gonna go…”

Yuu turned away from Malleus, blinking at Lilia in astonishment as the fae and other Diasomnia pair stand up, “Now why the fuck would you do that?”

Silver was kind enough to scoop Grim into his arms, the dire beast still shivering from the sudden scent of blood, “We’ve come to an agreement that we’d leave the room when you two start fighting.”

“We aren’t even fighting…” Yuu muttered under their breath, making a point to not look toward Malleus’s upset face. They’re pretty sure they’d start giggling at how frustrated he’s being about this.

Sebek shakes his head, already walking out of the room, “You become incredibly uncivil to everyone when you and Waka-Sama have disagreements. Lilia-Sama is right in having us leave the area before you two really start…”

“We aren’t fighting?”

“We’re fighting a little…” Malleus mutters under his breath, glaring off to the side.

Yuu glares over their shoulder, “No, we aren’t.”

Lilia walked behind Silver, holding his hands up as they left the room, “We’re gonna go. We'll make you two those quesadillas!” He ignored Yuu’s wide eyed stare, closing the doors of the lounge behind him and leaving Yuu and Malleus alone in the room.

The silence was loud, the two of them sitting comfortably in the nest. After a few more moments of quiet, Yuu sighs loudly, tucking their head to Malleus's chest and nuzzling into him gently.

Malleus sighs himself, leaning down to press a kiss to the crown of Yuu's head, “My love…please. You're hurting and I don't understand why you won't let me help in the best way I can…”

“Because it wouldn't actually help, Malleus.” They felt bad. It hadn't really hit them just how out of the realm of reality their period was to everyone. Sure the event itself could be scary in their old world, the amount of first period horror stories only grew as the years went on. But to have no frame of reference… the concept of a period sounded downright terrifying.

“How?” Malleus huffed, an air of frustration growing. Were they joking around? Deliberately speaking in circles to annoy him as a tease? “You said this happens if you don't get pregnant. If you get pregnant, then you will not have to deal with this ailment.”

At Yuu's own frustrated sigh, Malleus's eyes widen, “Is…is it too late?” A feeling of guilt starts to grow in him. Were they meant to be impregnated at a specific time? Had a window of opportunity been missed? Was this the rest of Yuu's life now; bleeding out of their intimates and crying so hard they were forced to purge?

Yuu couldn't help but chuckle at Malleus's face, reaching up to bring the worried fae closer for a gentle kiss. They speak as they pull away, “Calm down. This isn't going to last forever and I'll be back to normal by the end of the week at worst.”

Malleus curls around them, his hand still a gentle heat on their lower stomach, “But why wouldn't we simply skip this and just…start our agreement now? If the trigger for this ailment is that you weren't impregnated, why can't we have our child now so that you won't have to suffer this way.”

“I'll be honest with you, Malleus. It's literally because I don't wanna be a teen mom; that's the main reason. But also…there's no guarantee my period would stop during a pregnancy. Plus it'll still come back like a few months after having the baby…”

“...” Malleus pulls away from Yuu, staring at them in a silent state of confusion but his eyes were screaming, “Why…would you get the period…if you're pregnant? Isn't that…you stated you get your period if you don't get pregnant?”

“That is correct, yes.”

“...But…you could also…get your period…if you are pregnant?”

“Ye…”

“...”

Another long stretch of silence passed in the room and Yuu felt as though they could physically see the gears turning in Malleus's head. Double checking the math one would say.

“...Then what's the point of it?”

Yuu snickers under their breath, “Well, I don't think I'm knowledgeable enough to really give you the TED talk about the Tree of Knowledge and the original sin…”

“...” Malleus placed a hand on their forehead, “Are you…have you gained a fever? Is delirium a symptom of your period?”

“I'm not crazy, shut up.” Yuu pushes Malleus's hand off of their face with a grin. Cozying back into his embrace, one of their hands resting on his pressed to their lower stomach, “Periods are weird and horrible and I do not have the answers you're seeking sadly.”

Malleus could only sigh, feeling a pit growing in his mind and heart as he felt his uselessness to his love in this situation, “Is there anything you'll allow me to do? I only wish to help you during this…”

Yuu hums, reaching up to gently cupping Malleus's cheek, “This is plenty. Just…hold me and tell me you love me…”

“I love you, dear.” Malleus smiles, soft and kind as he nuzzled into Yuu's palm, “Though I'm loathed and disconcerted, I'm delighted to know I can at least help in this way…”

“I am too. You surprisingly make a great heating pad.”

Malleus moves to remove his hand, “Oh, is my hand too warm-”

Yuu quickly grips at Malleus's hand, face still calm and content but their fingernails bite into the fae's skin, “If you take this hand off of my body I will rip your spine out of you through your asshole.”

“Ah…”

They sat in comfortable silence, Malleus only mildly terrified at the visual of his spine being removed from his body by force. Their serene atmosphere half ended by Lilia happily bursting into the room with a plate of slightly charred quesadillas.

“Lunch time~!” Lilia walked to the nest, kneeling down and holding out the least burnt tortilla to Yuu's face, “Pspspspspspsps.”

Yuu's eyes snap open, a wild smile on their face as Malleus chuckled and kept them locked in his arms, “Lilia Vanrouge, I will break the fucking bones in your ears. Did Cater tell you to do this!?”

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

Help

Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 1K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: Haarlep using Y/N form, Astarion and Karlach being heroes, Astarion being amazing (as always), hurt/comfort, fluff

-------------------

You had been distant for weeks. Hardly talking to him, telling him you needed time to yourself. He was trying to be understanding but it seemed like you wanted to be anywhere but near him. He couldn’t think of anything he’d done to make you act this way, and it was starting to scare him. 

“Darling, may I come in?” Astarion asked from the front of your tent. He could barely see you, curled up in a dark corner of the tent. 

You didn’t respond, he assumed you were asleep. He pulled a blanket over you quietly before he noticed your eyes. They were cracked open a bit, bloodshot and devoid of emotion. 

“Little love?” He cooed, a gentle hand caressing your face. You flinched away. 

That made his undead heart break. “Whatever could be the matter?”

Silent tears fell down your face as you closed your eyes and pulled the blanket over your head. You were shaking slightly and trying not to squirm. 

“Are you ill?” He asked. He wanted to hold you, make you feel better but he held back, not wanting to make you flinch again. A strangled moan left your lips and everything clicked in his mind. 

The incubus. 

“My love… let me help you… please.” He begged.

You lifted the blanket slightly. He heard your quiet sobs as he shifted himself under the blanket, careful not to touch you. He saw your legs rubbing together, how your hands fisted the bed roll. But most of all he saw the endless tears streaming down your cheeks and how your face scrunched up in pain. You let out sobs and moans; he never saw you like this. Your normal calm and happy affect was long gone. 

Astarion kicked at the tent flap, letting light pour in. The thin blanket illuminated with blue light. Your eyes opened at the sudden color change. Astarion held the blanket up, giving you both space to breathe. Your shaking hand reached out to touch it. 

“When Cazador made me use myself… I felt so ashamed and disgusted. It planted this seed inside me that made me repulsed by anything physical… I’m so sorry little love, if I could take this pain from you I would.” Said Astarion in a whisper. 

Your breathing picked up and you squealed, sobbing once more before curling into Astarion’s side. Your hiccups and sobs slowed into sniffles here and there. 

“But… you can survive this. You can love despite this. And I’ll always be here, in any way you need me my sweet.” He whispered into your hair, not touching you but wanting you to know how much he meant it. 

You cautiously wrapped an arm around his waist while you whispered “Sleep… I want the potion of sleep… please.” 

Astarion sighed, his heart cracking in half. He got up and got the potion for you, tilting it slowly so you could drink it. Your body went limp quickly, a deep sleep settling in your muscles. Your cheeks were tear stained, the rims of your eyes were red. He understood now why you had been away from him. The incubus was using you day in and day out, after all, that's all incubus do. He huffed before pulling the blanket back up over you, tucking you in. He marched to Karlach’s tent, a mission in mind. 

She smiled at him, opening her mouth to get a word out but he cut her off before she got the chance.

“I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later, and were gonna hurt somebody.” his jaw was clenched, his eyes like daggers.

“What portal should we take?” Karlach responded, picking up her axe. 

------------------------

Astarion walked into the tent as you rolled over, rubbing your eyes. You looked at him for a moment before looking away, shame and bile rising in your throat. 

“Darling,” Astarion started, sitting near you but not too close. You noticed he was covered in blood and sweat. Did something happen while you were asleep?

“This is for you.” he said, holding out a piece of bloody chain.

You took it, looking at it with confusion. You noticed small infernal writing on the chain. Your eyes widened. This was from Haarlep. 

“They’re dead?” you asked with a shaky breath.

“Yes.” he said gently. 

You crawled into his lap, straddling him. Your arms wrapped around his neck, you hugged him tightly as sobs racked your body. “Thank you.” you whispered.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t kill that bastard sooner. You shouldn’t have had to feel that… any of it.” his arms held you just as tight. He was so worried about you these last few weeks. As soon as it all clicked in his mind he knew he had to do something, he couldn’t stand to think about you suffering like he had for even a moment. 

“You need to wash.” you spoke after a while, still holding him. 

“I can do that later, I want to stay with you.” he spoke as he ran his hands through your hair, massaging your scalp. 

“Can I wash with you? I want to wash them off of me… for the last time…” a single tear left your eye. You were so relieved Haarlep was gone, and yet, something inside you ached. A part of you had suffered and it ached inside you despite the fact that justice was served in the highest form. 

Astarion nodded, kissing your head before he got up and filled the tub. He sunk down, keeping his eyes averted as you undressed. You sunk down across from him, your legs tangled together. 

You took his hands, “I love you.” you kissed his knuckles. 

His face softened, he kissed your knuckles back, “I love you.” 

Astarion washed you with feather light touches, soft kisses placed here and there. He helped you dress, brushing your hair a bit before laying you down with him. Your body felt clean, you felt… restored. Your eyes drooped as Astarion wrapped a blanket around you. He stayed up, listening to your soft, even breaths. He caressed your face every now and then. He knew it would take time to help you overcome what Haarlep had done, and he was going to be there every step of the way.

-----------------

Naboo's Note:

Hello all! Sorry I have been away for a bit. The holidays and work have been awful on me and my writing time tbh but I'm getting back into it. I hope this is a fun little piece for everyone, I love me some hurt comfort lol. Thank you all for the support and understanding. Thanks for the likes, comments, reblogs, and requests. TTYLXOX <3

[arabaka]

₊˚ʚ ☁️ ₊˚ ♡ ﾟ. content warnings ⤸ sfw. fluff + angst for the birthday boy! spoilers for chapter 236. 736 words. while i don't mind ageless/minors interacting with my sfw posts, do NOT follow if you do not have your age in bio.

₊˚ʚ ☁️ ₊˚ ♡ ﾟ. author's note ⤸ maxine voice from russian doll: sweet birthday baby!!! i had this sitting around in my drafts and honestly been going through it so... we love-self care. also peep the httyd quote B)

He’s already seen everyone else (Suguru, Nanami, Haibara, and Yaga) but there’s still some unfinished business for the strongest, the ill-fated, Gojo Satoru.

After all, it’s a long known fact that Gojo Satoru really died when you did.

“Well,” Gojo stands, dusting off his uniform pants, “Gotta go.”

“Leaving so soon?” Geto asks with a knowing smirk.

“Yeah. Got a date, ya’ know.”

Of course, you’d reunite at an airport terminal of all places. The staple location for every cheesy rom-com movie, where the twist is that both lovers are dead.

What can you say; spending even just a few years in limbo will round out the humor in you.

But it’s also perfect, in its own way. How many rom-coms did you watch with him that had this exact scene in them? How many times had you recreated those corny, predictable scenes anytime you had to travel with sincerity because between the two of you… One couldn’t really live without the other.

Maybe there really is something to this airport effect.

You’re both running so fast, desperate to leave all the time you spent apart in the past.

Gojo sweeps you off your feet, somehow staying grounded on his despite the boom of excitement between the two of you. Your giggles make him giggle and it’s like you were never apart.

When you kiss, he remembers what it felt like when he really had someone to keep living for. 

The memories don’t stop there: a dam of his own making cracks under the pressure before splitting apart entirely. It still hurt to reminisce on those times you shared, even after all those years it never got any better. But with you back in his arms, the experiences have been returned to their original glory. Their original joy.

He can see them all so clearly. 

The look of annoyed disgust you gave him when you met as first-years at Jujutsu High: he never did let you live down your initial distaste for him and you never let him forget why you gave him that look in the first place. But it sure as hell didn’t stop you two from sneaking off to make out when you should have been practicing.

The gleam in your eyes when he told you I love you for the first time: you had cried right after and had him thinking he did something wrong but you more than made up for it when you tackled him to the ground, sobbing “I love yous” right back. 

The warmth of your arms when he’d wake up screaming the nights following the first time he’d lost Suguru: he never could thank you enough for giving him such a perservering comfort.

He’s seeing it all: graduation, birthdays, holidays…

A flash of you and him in the bed you shared, in the apartment you two called home, and the night he proposed… How you said yes before he could even finish the sentence.

And that's where it ends because you'd be gone before the two of you could even announce your engagement.

Gojo never loved after you, didn’t even try to find someone else because no one could ever come close to you.

Now here you are, in his arms again… Where you belong. He kisses you over and over again with the fervor of a man starved, Gojo desperate to reacquaint himself with the way you taste and feel.

“I was beginning to think you forgot about me.” You tease, arms looped tenaciously around his neck; you aren’t letting go this time.

“Pft- You? Never, baby.” His lips skirt yours, “You don’t know how much I’ve missed this.”

Gojo makes you laugh. He always could.“I think I have an idea.” You chuckle, your eyes crinkling as you smile.

“Let me look at you.” You both say at the same time, falling in love with each other all over again. 

With an air of remorse and his pretty blues saturated with sadness, Gojo whispers, “You’re as beautiful as the day I lost you.” His heart still aches like it's become a muscle memory. “I should’ve–”

“Hey.” Your hands firmly grasp his face, “Stop that.” You give him a good shake with that determined look in your eyes he's longed for all these years. “We're together again. I don't know for how long or what comes next but… For better or worse, right?” 

“For better or worse.” Gojo agrees and for the first time in a long time he smiles without guilt, thinking to himself:

“I’m hoping this isn’t a dream.”

[cemeteryspider]

Ballet on the Bayou Pt. 4

Alastor x Ballerina! Reader

Summary: Who lives, who dies, who tells your story ig...

Trigger Warnings: Violence, grief, mourning, death, and drug use

Word Count: 1156

Previous | Next

Ballet on the Bayou Masterlist

"Blah, blah, blah, blah. This is boring stuff. I thought you would have done something interesting by now" Angel practically yelled at the pair.

"I am getting there, Angel Dust, context is important" Alastor said to get Angel to stop talking.

"Yes, Angel the good part is coming, I promise dear" Your finger brushed up against Angel Dust's cheek to get him to look at Alastor again.

"Fine but this better be worth it toots" Alastor's eye twitched and his smile lessened just a little, but the little laugh you let out was enough to make him calm down again.

"Now where was I? Yes!"

~~~

You had recently gotten the plaster off of your foot and you were on a long road to recovery. Your dream had not fully died yet, and you thought of other ways you could reenter the dance world. You could be a choreographer, direct a ballet, or be a stage manager. None of these options felt right for you, so you kept looking.

You often walked with Alastor to his job and went to some stores. Then you would go home to be with his mother for the day. Cook, clean, listen to music, whatever she wanted to do. Then you would go meet Alastor outside the radio station, and walk home together.

Somedays this was just too much to bear, and you would end up in bed with as many pillows stacked under your foot as you could have. Those days Alastor worried, but as time wore on those days were few and far between.

As a few months passed since your injury you thought more about getting a job. Even just a couple days of the week out of the house would do you good. Talking to other people and making friends was something you longed for since you left home.

So you spoke to Alastor about getting a job.

"Why, Cher, I make enough money to support us. Stay home be comfortable"

"Al, I want to dance again, maybe not like I was, but I think I want to teach" Your eyes softened as you looked at him. This was not a spur of the moment decision. When he looked into your eyes, he knew you had been thinking about this for a while.

"Do not push yourself too hard, Cher, I couldn't bear to see you get hurt again" He pulled you close and rested his chin on your head.

The next day you went to the nearest dance studio and asked if they would let you teach a class.

~~~

Soon enough you were teaching children how to dance. It gave you hope for the future, however, after one long day at the studio you came into an empty house. No smell of dinner, and Alastor on the couch with his head in his hands.

As you got closer you could hear the silent sobs coming from him.

"She's gone, mon cherie, she's gone"

He never gave you the full details but you knew for the past few weeks she had been extremely ill. Everyday you left for work, you would ask her if she needed you to stay. She always smiled and told you to go.

The next few months were ones of extreme mourning. Alastor dragged himself out of bed for work, used all his energy there, and then came home to collapse in bed.

Although you might say that you weren't helpful, Alastor called you the light in his darkest days.That the one good thing that happened in his life, saved him. You saved him.

Unfortunately, the killing that had miraculously stopped a year prior had mysteriously started again. This put you on edge, but as more time went on and more people went missing, Alastor got better. Although to you it was coincidence it was in fact correlation.

~~~

"Wait, how did you not know he was a murderer?" Angel Dust interrupted Alastor once more, and Alastors antlers grew longer for a moment then retracted when he looked at your patient face.

"I only saw what I wanted to see, Angel, to me he was perfect in every way. He still is despite, you know, everything"

"I still don't understand why you're here though? I mean you taught kids to dance, here that makes you practically a saint" Again a small laugh emanated for your lips.

"That's coming, Angel, just listen"

~~~

One day Alastor was waiting for you to come home. He was going to surprise you by going to the new upscale fancy restaurant in town. However, just before he went out to look for you, a police-man knocked on the door.

On your way home a car had struck you. Either you hadn't seen it or you froze, but the car had hit you and you died on impact. Alastor didn't quite believe what he was hearing and collapsed.

~~~

However, you were greeted at the pearly gates. That's where you waited for your love to come and find you. When you looked in the mirror you saw your Odette costume. A beautiful tutu and white pointe shoes. Not only that but a gorgeous pair of white wings had sprouted from your back. Once this would have made your heart swell with happiness. However, you couldn’t enjoy it without Alastor by your side. 

After many years you were finally informed of his whereabouts.

He went a little crazy after you died. He killed more and more. He made more mistakes and got even sloppier. Until the fateful day of his death. He died a couple of years after you. Bullet to the head from a hunter that mistook him for a deer.

The day of his death, he was put in Hell. No second thoughts about it. He had killed many, and would kill many more to gain power in Hell. Somehow when he arrived he could feel you weren't there. He knew deep down you didn't deserve to be there rotting in Hell with him.

You argued with the angel council.

"It must be a mistake. He had only ever been good to me, and to his mother. Please, why is he down there"

They had told me what he'd done. What he'd done before he met you, while he knew you, after you had died, and how he had died. In that moment, you forgave him. Not a moment of doubt crossed your mind.

The council was horrified. You were put on trial. They even waited. Try to see if you would change your mind. Come to your senses. See the light again.

You were cast out. You were no longer naive. You were no longer innocent. You were fully aware the man you loved was a monster. Yet you wanted to be with him anyway.

Casting you out was a curse, the worst form of punishment.

To you, it was a miracle. You would get to see him again. 

[writingoddess1125]

In Another Life

Depression Time!!

Trafalgar Law x FemReader

Sadness, Angst, Death. And More Saddness!

Support me on Ko-Fi! Gotta survive to write more!

Wrote this while watching a movie- can probably guess the movie..

'Law! You have to promise me, when we get married we get a kitten' You giggled at your long term . The two of you holding hands as you walked through the meadows next to the secret base.

Law bristled at your words, remembering his own parents and the happiness they shared- but also the heartache he experienced thinking of them. The two of you looking to each other-

'Why do you say that?'

'Cause kittens are cute?- especially ones with gray fur and blue eyes' He cut you off with an annoyed scoff.

'No the marriage thing? Why would you think I'd marry you!?' His words harsh and rude which made you flinch.

'Law.. We aren't long for this world- we have already spent most of our lives together then seperate.. I'd want to spend the rest of it with you' You said so softly, confuses by his tone. Law yanking his hand away from you in false anger.

'Then I shouldn't waste my time in doing something stupid like marriage' He said annoyed. Your eyes filling up with tears, you didn't say a word. Instead walking away from him- he didn't stop you. Assuming you had just went to clear your mind from the harsh reality- but he didn't expect you to never return at all...

He should have know... he should have truly heard her words when she said she waan't long for this world...

That had been years ago.. he hadn't heard or seen (Y/N) since. Truthfully he regretted that so much- his world ever darker since that day.

At night he would wince when he thought back on his words before sleep- his dreams filled with the life he should have had with her if he wasn't so angry at the world.

It had been a few days ago however when he'd gotten a letter- recognizing your handwriting so well. But he never could have even guessed the words on those pages- asking to see him again before (Y/N) passed... a illness no one could treat claiming her life and taking her away soon.

Running to her home, he went to the hospital she was in- entering the room with a heavy heart knowing what was on the other side.

Law had always been a man of few words, but as he stood by (Y/N)'s side one final time, a thousand emotions wrestled within his heart. Her form weakened by the ravages of time, lay in a bed adorned with soft blankets that him and others had brought for her, her frail hand clasped in Law's strong grip.

"I wish we had more time," Law murmured, his voice heavy with regret.

(Y/N) smiled weakly, her eyes shimmering with love as the light began to fade from them. "We've had a lifetime of memories, Law. I am grateful for the time we've shared."

Her words struck Law like a blade to the chest, as he struggled to hold back the tears threatening to spill. His hardened exterior cracked, and vulnerability seeped through the cracks.

"I often dreamed of a life together, you know," Law confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "A quiet house by the sea, with our children running through the sand. We would sit on the porch, holding hands and watching the sunset."

Her expression softened with reminiscence, her voice a gentle melody. "That sounds like a beautiful lofe, Law. A life filled with love and peace."

Law's grip on (Y/N)'s hand tightened, as if trying to hold onto the fleeting moments they had left. "I would have given anything to make that dream a reality. To protect you, to see you smile every day."

(Y/N) lifted her free hand and gently caressed Law's cheek. "You have already given me so much, Law. The love you have shown me is more than I could have ever asked for."

Tears rolled down Law's face, his breathing uneven as he held back sobs. "If you'd had told me- I could have save you! protect you from the cruelty of this world. But..."

Her touch provided a soothing balm to Law's tortured soul. "You gave me a life filled with adventure, love, and purpose. Our time together has been a gift, Law.. even if it had to end like this."

Law lowered his head- sitting next to her as his tears started to drip onto the bed, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. (Y/N) despite her weakened state, gathered her strength and pulled Law into a tender embrace. They held each other, the weight of their emotions filling the room like an unspoken song.

As the sun began to set, its warm glow bathing the room in a golden light, Law whispered his final words into her ear. "I will carry your love within me until my last breath, and beyond. You have forever changed me, and our love will have another day."

(Y/N)'s touch grew feeble, her breathing shallow. She mustered the strength to raise her gaze to meet Law's tear-stained eyes. "Thank you for loving me, Law. I will always be with you, in your heart."

With those tender words, (Y/N) slipped away, leaving Law alone in a world forever altered. He held her lifeless hand, his despair mingling with the emptiness in his chest as loud desperate cries ripped through his soul.

Law sat in the inn, staring at the empty bottles infront of him- his chest feeling hallow and full of regret. Part of him wanting to walk into the sea and return to his love.. see her smiling face one last time-

Rolling himself up from his seat, he stumbled out of the bar- the alcohol making his brain fuzzy and uneven as he was met with the cold night air. His mind drifting to the sea... maybe he would see (Y/N) on the other side- his family.. love out that fantasy the two of you had always wished for.. one that he was too stupid to realize was more important than anything else-

As he walked down to the peir, his mind only of his regrets in life.

He looked out on the ocean, his legs felt like they were lead and he wanted to jump in and let the Goddess claim him- till the sound of his name drew him back. Looking to see a man in a suit rushing to him with a box and crate in tow.

"You there! Are you Trafalgar Law?"

"Yeah what's it to you?" Law grumbled-

"Ah Sir. Im Wallace J, Lawyer for (Y/N)- You were listened in ger will fkr everhthing including her home but (Y/N) had left some items that needed to be personally handed to you- oh and this" The man said calmly as he gestured to the crate.

Law looked confused by this and nodded, taking the box and opening it. There his heart broke for a second time that day- there was several letters, with his name on it- he knew (Y/N) hand writing too well to say these were from anyone else.. paired with the dried flower ring he had made her years ago when the two of them were children, with other sentimentalthings from his childhood. The lawyer holding out a letter that had been separated from the box. The doctor quickly taking it and reading it-

My Darling Law

As I write this letter, I want my time with you in this world has come to an end. But i want you to know that my love for you is unwavering, and my deepest wish is for your happiness. Life is a journey filled with twists and turns, and in those moments when I may not be by your side, I implore you to seek joy and love.

Find someone who fills your soul, someone who understands and cherishes the beautiful person you are. Embrace love, laughter, and companionship with another. Life is too short to settle for anything less than genuine happiness.

Remember, your life is precious and unique, and your happiness is what I want the most for you.

So while I can't be there to be on that journey, I still want you to walk thay path. I know you are hurt, and im sorry i was the one who caused it.. but I hope this little guy can give you just a bit of love to you while you find your way.

I love you Law, to the end of the stars and back.

Forever yours, (Y/N)

The doctor gave a breathy sigh as a sob threated to spill from him. Setting the box down as he looked to the crate, Opening it slowly and tears rolled down at the sight.

A gray kitten with sleepy blue eyes mewed at him- Law reaching forward and picking up the little thing. Remembering the words when the two of shared long ago.

'When we get married- you better get me a kitten. One with gray fur and blue eyes'

The lawyer watching in empathy, watching the man before him crumble and fall to his knees as he held the kitten in his arms.

[eddies-house]

TW: mentions of bad mental health

im imagining eddie being absolutley taken back when he finds out how people have previously treated you resulting in hesitation when being vulnerable with him.

and he's been through some shit, he's not exactly one to be voluntarily vulnerable either but with the tables turned it's like a moment of oh. like you're hiding from him, muddling your own emotions as a means to keep the peace.

he realizes that coming in strong, asking "what's wrong?" almost too oboxiously like he's previously done, only chases you further into your mind, it only insinuates that there are consquences if you were to answer so rather than being met with honesty, it's always "nothing" followed by forced smiles and sucked back tears that he's regrettably brushed off in those moments, trying to keep you comfortable. but while his intention to ease your chaotic mind by simply moving on had no ill intent, he soon recognizes the harm its caused and the pattern he's assisted in creating.

realizes he takes it far too personal when you shut down on those particularily bad days, thinks it's cause of him, only to contribute to the self destruction taking place in your mind when he continuously begs the questions "what's wrong?" "what do you want me to do?" "what can I do?" "come on, tell me what's wrong". he never understood that he was never the issue but he quickly made himself into one by nearly berating and prodding you with his questions. and then one day he sees it. sees the way your eyes go dull when he asks.

sees the front you put on, "everything's okay" while your lip wobbles. he doesn't take it personal this time, there's nothing distracting him from the obvious signs, the symptoms of broken hearted individual struggling to keep up despite the aches and pains that linger within. its a heartbreak he's so familiar with yet seems to be so blind to in others, thinking he's the only one to experience it, not selfishly but hopefully. so he straightens up and silently tells himself to quit all of his bitching because this is bigger than him, it's not because of him. you need him and he's been too insecure to think that maybe words aren't required, not by you anyway. there is no quick fix, no remedy to just stop the pain like popping an ibprofen or slapping on a bandaid, it just is. raw pain and vulnerability that should be allowed to be felt, not cured.

so this time, he recognizes the wall you put up, just like every other time though it was previously ignored. before he can even say anything, he knows you're anticipating his bombarding questions that have no answer. sees the way you tense up, the slight panic in the way your fingers tremble at the prospect of being figured out. except this time he speaks softly, a shake in his voice because he's terrifed to scare you off once again. says "i love you" then gently wraps you up in his arms, provides a barrier between you and the world you're at war with.

holds you on the kitchen floor, face pressed to his chest with a mixture of tears and snot.

runs his fingers down your spine delicately.

whispers "it's okay" when he knows it is in fact not, only hoping you're able to decipher that he means it's okay that you're not okay, it's okay that it's 1AM and while the world is asleep you're both tangled up on top of crumbs and possible neglected coffee stains

apologizes.

because for all those times you've coaxed him through an unwarranted episode, he's been neglecting you at your worst. not on purpose but it's neglect nontheless. and he knows all about it.

sings under his breath when the sobs have stopped wreaking havoc on your body. quiet hums of a familiar song, you are my sunshine.

tucks you into bed, makes you a late night snack cause he knows your appetite fails you in times like these, kisses your forehead and threads his fingers through your hair.

he's not perfect nor has he ever desired being held to such a high standard. but for you he wants to try.

[somekindofpoet]

Terminal

Summary: Reader deals with her parent having a terminal illness, and Vada struggles to cope with the aftermath of the shooting

Word Count: 5.7K

Warnings: Drug use, mention of school shooting, minor character death, depression, all around misery and angst

A/N: This one was HARD to write. The angst and sadness, whew, almost took me right out. Thank you @mindingmybidness12 for this challenge!

“I’m afraid it’s terminal.”

The words sunk into your bones like lead. The doctor's face was stern, his tone practiced and sure. The smell of chemical cleaner burned your nose, mingling with the sharp snap of rubber gloves. Your father choked a cry back in his throat. You looked to your mother, seeking her support and wanting to give her yours. She was stoic, her face still and calm. It helped you stay grounded. Your father began to sob.

What were the two of you going to do without her? She was the lighthouse in your storm, the steady, reliable constant presence in your life. How could you survive without her? If her cancer was terminal, your devastation was too. You knew you’d never be the same again. 

————

“You doin okay back there kiddo?” 

You jerk your head away from the car window, focusing your eyes on the front seat. The memory felt like a lifetime ago, but in reality, it had only been a year. A year of driving hours to Stanford for your mother’s specialized treatments. A year of watching her transform into a shell of a human. A year of seeing your father wither into an anxious helicopter parent. 

You sigh and turn back to the window, your breath fogging the glass. “I’m fine Pops, just tired.”

He nods his head and drums on the steering wheel nervously. The sun had begun to set, reflecting orange and blue on the dark glass windows of the hospital. You had grown to hate the smell of hospitals. You hated hospitals as a whole now, really. So you waited in the car while your mom received her treatment, and today your father joined you. You could tell he wanted to talk, but you didn’t open the invitation to him. You didn’t feel like talking. You didn’t feel like doing much these days.

“Oh here she is!” He throws the car door open and jogs to the nurse pushing your mother in a wheelchair. 

He takes hold of the handles, waves the nurse goodbye, and wheels your mother over to the passenger side. After treatment, she used to try to pretend to be chipper for your benefit. You could tell it was exhausting for her, so you’d recently let her know you saw through it. You told her it was okay not to feel well and that you could handle it. You were regretting that decision today.

She looked terrible. Her eyes were sunken in, and her skin sallow. You could never get used to this new, dying version of the woman who’d always been your hero. You have her a small smile that didn’t meet your eyes and returned your gaze out the window. Your dad climbed back into the driver's seat and pulled away, chattering mindlessly as his two favorite women zoned him out. 

A few hours into the drive, as the car was making its way down Interstate 5, your phone buzzed. You ignored it. You weren’t in the mood. The road was dark, and you were watching the stars. Your phone buzzed again. And again. And again. 

“What the-“ the words were choked from your throat as you flipped the phone over and saw the notifications.

Hundreds of texts, calls, and news articles. You open the top article, the headline in bold letters read, “SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA SCHOOL SHOOTER-17 CONFIRMED DEAD, 32 INJURED”.

The breath was knocked from your lungs. You gasp, desperate to suck in air but it wasn’t enough and you began to feel light headed. You start heaving, leaning over to the empty seat next to you, desperately searching for relief but finding none. Your dad glances over his shoulder, frowning. 

“Woah, hey, what’s going on back there, need me to pullover? Are you sick?”

You can’t speak, you can’t breathe. You nod, still gasping for air. The car rolls into the dirt shoulder of the road, and you unbuckle your seatbelt and fling open the door. You fall out of the car and land on your knees in the dirt, crawling away from the car. You don’t even know where you’re going, just away. The night air is crisp on your face and the vastness of the sky opens up above you. You flip over on your back and splay your arms out, panting. 

You see your dad's shoes make their way around the front of the car and approach you. He squats down and rests his hand on your shoulder. 

“What happened?” His voice is gentle but tinged with worry. 

You shake your head, still unable to speak in your shock. You lift your phone to show him the article. He takes your phone and sucks in a quick breath, falling backward out of his squat. 

“Oh honey,” he says, tearing up, “oh baby you’re okay. It’s going to be okay.” 

He takes your shoulders and pulls you into his lap, stroking your back. You tuck your nose into his shoulder and let him soothe you. You glance up, and your mother is watching from the passenger window, her hand on the glass. She can’t know what’s happened, but she can see your panic and that’s all she needs to know she wants to comfort you. 

It takes a few minutes before the shock mellows and you can think coherently. As soon as your mind settles, it lights up again, sending you into another panic attack. You snatch up your phone, scrolling through the texts. There are so many people you care about, but only one on your mind.

Vada. Vada. Vada. 

You find your text thread, she’s texted you once. 

Vada🖤

Mia is in the bathroom putting on makeup for picture day 🙄

There’s nothing else. You hyperventilate again, calling her phone. Your dad is eyeing you, making sure you’re going to be okay. The phone rings and rings and rings. You drop it and crawl over to the tumbleweed and wretch your guts out. 

When you finally stop heaving, your dad picks you up and carries you back to the car. He lays you in the backseat, brushes your hair off your sweat damp forehead and closes the door. The car feels like a tomb. The darkness feels like it’s pressing in on you. It’s all you can do not to jump out the door and roll onto the asphalt. You feel sick again.

Your phone vibrates next to your head. You have half a mind to ignore it, but you peek at who the message is from. When you see the name, you lift the phone so fast you accidentally fumble it and drop it onto the floor. You roll on your side and sweep your hand around frantically until you find it again. 

Vada’s name is on the screen. 

Vada 🖤

Im ok

For the first time in over an hour, you can breathe. A sob leaves the back of your throat, making your parents glance back at you. Relief floods you and you feel like a weighted blanket has settled over your body. You text her back as fast as your thumbs will move.

Y/n

I just heard what happened can I come see you?

Vada doesn’t reply. The message was delivered, but the three dots never popped back up. You were sick with worry, but you were happy she was alive. The rest of the ride home felt like a funeral procession.

———

School is canceled for two weeks. The first day you reach out, trying to contact Vada. She doesn’t answer, never replies. Your dad tells you she’s probably processing a lot and to give her time. You feel terribly guilty. You know you should feel grateful, but you don’t. 

You never told anyone about how bad your mom's illness was. You loved your mother, but the thought of explaining over and over that she was going to die and that there was nothing you could do to stop it, made you feel sick. Vada knew you went to treatments at Stanford with her, but she didn’t know how bad it was. You never had anyone over to your house, always making up an excuse to go somewhere else. You couldn’t stomach the thought of Vada’s wide eyes seeing the hospice bed in your living room and smelling the chemical drip that pervades every fabric in the house. She would feel sorry for you, and you couldn’t deal with that. 

Vada was lighthearted and goofy and talked far too much for her own good. She would jump on your back for surprise piggybacks, buy you coffee and drink half of it, laugh at her own terrible jokes and dance around parking lots to music playing in her imagination. Her ease was so contagious you hardly went a day without her. But you couldn’t bring yourself to tell her about your mother. You didn’t want to see her eyes change when she realized how numb you were. You didn’t want her to feel sorry for you. You wanted her to remain the same and unknowingly continue to make your heavy heart feel light. 

The shooting changed so much. And of course it had, how could it not? Everyone’s simple, easy teenage hood was turned on its head. Stress about finals warped into stress about living or dying. Teens aren’t supposed to be exposed to the dread that comes with realizing their own mortality. You could speak to that first hand. It was different, you knew, but in a way it wasn’t. You stared death in the face every day that you told your mother you loved her. It may not have been your own death, but it was death either way. 

You met with Nick five days after the shooting and listened to him tell you about all the changes he was going to make in the world. His eyes were full of passion and righteous fury. He was going to do big things and that’s how he dealt with his experience. You admired him for it. 

After six days of not hearing from Vada, you took matters into your own hands. You parked your car in her driveway behind her mom’s and rang her doorbell. It swung open and Amelia was there, grinning at you. She ran to you, squeezing you in a long hug, making you smile.

“Hey shrimp, how ya been?”

She pushes out of the hug, still smiling, undeterred by the nickname. “Soooo bored dude. Vada never leaves her room and it’s like totally tragic.”

She leads you inside the house, you close the door quietly behind you. Their mom is in the kitchen, and she gives you a tired but relieved smile.

“Y/n, honey it’s so good to see you.” She pulls you into a hug, squeezing your shoulders. 

Vada’s family was like your second family. You found comfort in their normalcy, and they enjoyed your company. They always said you were the only thing grounding Vada. Like a wrist tied to a balloon string, her dad always said. 

“It’s good to see you too, I’ve missed you guys.” You tell her as she releases you from her hug.

She gives you a half smile and eyes the hallway leading to Vada’s room. “Did she ask you to come over?” She asks you, hope sparking in her eyes.

You look down and scuff your shoe on the tile, “No. I haven’t heard from her. But I wanted to check in.”

She nods, the hope slowly washing out of her face. “She hasn’t seen much of anyone lately. Go ahead and go on in, I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.”

You nod and steel yourself. You’re not sure what you’re going to be met with, but it’s not going to be the Vada you know and love that’s for certain. That Vada couldn’t sit still for more than two minutes, much less lock herself up in her room for six days. You knock on her door and get no answer. When you crack the door open, the room is dim. Her curtains are drawn shut, a faint trickle of sunlight only reaches the floor below the window. The smell is thick and heavy, uncirculated from lack of movement. You were all too familiar with this scene.

When you found out your mom was sick, there was hope. But after a while, when she didn’t get better, that hope quickly slipped through your fingers. You slept for days, only leaving your room to go to the bathroom. The smell was identical to Vada’s room now. It broke your heart, knowing what she was going through. 

As your eyes adjust, you can see the form of her body, small and curled in a ball under her comforter. Her dark hair spills out above the blanket, and the silver ring in the top of her ear catches the sliver of light from the door. You close it quietly and tiptoe over to the side of the bed. Her breathing is steady and slow, her eyes closed. She looks peaceful, lost in the bliss of unconsciousness. Her phone is under her nose, and that stings you a little. She’d seen your messages and chosen not to reply. You try not to take it personally, remembering how you shut everyone out too. 

You sit on the edge of the bed and run your hand down her shoulder. You consider not waking her, letting her stay in the quiet cocoon of her dreams. But you want her to know you’re there, and that you miss her, and that you’re so grateful she’s alive. It’s probably selfish, but you can’t help yourself.

“Hey, Vada,” You whisper, leaning down over her. 

She cracks open a sleep heavy eye, looking up at you. It takes her a moment to register, her hand coming out of the comforter and resting on your knee. She blinks a few times, looking around her room, trying to figure out what time it is. The darkness gives her no reference, so she returns to you. 

“Sorry I didn’t text you.” She mumbles, hiding her face in the blanket.

You smile down at her, fighting the urge to brush her hair behind her ear. You’d had feelings for her since the moment you’d become friends, but you never acted on them. You thought she might feel the same but gave her the space to make the first move. The last thing you wanted was to scare her off because you confessed your love for her. Vada was carefree and fun, but she could also be flighty and anxious. You settle for pulling the blanket away from her face.

“It’s okay. I get it.”

She rolls on her back, her eyebrows raised in surprise, “You’re not mad at me?”

You snort through your nose, shaking your head, “No, you’re dealing with a lot. I just came over to tell you I miss you. And that I’m here for you, if you need anything.”

She pushes the blankets down to her lap and sits up, crossing her legs under her. You fight back a smile because you want her to know you’re serious, but it’s incredibly difficult when she looks as cute as she does. Her hair is staticky and ruffled, she has pillow lines etched into her cheek and a small spot of dried drool in the corner of her mouth. She wipes it with the back of her hand as if she could read your mind, and watches you curiously.

“You haven’t been to any of the funerals.” She states, asking you why without asking.

You look away from her, picking at the fabric pilling on her sheets. You’re ashamed of yourself for not going. You just couldn’t bring yourself to go, knowing the worst funeral you’d have to sit through was inevitably approaching. 

“I can’t make myself go. I can’t stomach it.”

She scoots closer to you on the bed, her knees touching one of yours, her hand on your leg again. “Because of your mom?”

Damn her for being so insightful. You hadn’t told her how bad it was, but of course, she’d assume it must be. You just shrug, not willing to open that can of worms.

“So,” you hesitate, “how are you doing? You know, with everything?”

You feel more than see her recoil. She looks down at her hands, picking at her fingernails. “I don’t know. I don’t really want to talk about it.”

Against your better judgment, you push her, “Are you sure? It might be good-“

“I said I don’t want to.” Her voice is stiff now, her face sliding into one of numb apathy. 

You recognize that look, and it twists in your stomach. It’s one thing for you to be numb, but to see it on the beam of pure sunshine that is Vada feels like the world is tilted off its axis. You want to help her, want to reignite her spark. But she’s withdrawing again, laying back down and curling into a ball under her blankets. 

“Vada,” you say softly, your hand hovering over her shoulder.

“Please just go.”

“Vada I understand how you feel. I-“

Vada shoots up, her lip curled in bitterness and her eyebrows furrowed, “You don’t understand anything! How could you? You weren’t there. You don’t understand, so stop saying you do.”

She drops back down, rolling away from you. You pull your hand back and stand, making your way to her door. With one hand on the doorknob, you look back and see that she’s shivering violently under the blankets. It takes everything in you to open the door.

You turn back before you close it behind you, “You know where to find me, if you need me.”

She doesn’t reply. You shut the door, sealing her in her tomb.

————

Days pass by and Vada never reaches out. You attend rallies with Nick and do your best to invest yourself in his cause. It’s a welcome distraction because not only has Vada shut you out, your mom is getting worse. 

School starts back up, and your normal routine begins to pencil itself back in. Slowly but surely, kids start returning to their desks, some taking longer than others, but eventually, almost everyone is back. No one talks about the empty desks. Not Vada’s and Mia’s, but the ones that won’t ever be filled again. No one sits in them, an unspoken respect for the human who sat there just weeks ago, robbed of their future.

Those empty desks are like specters in the classrooms, quietly reminding everyone of the melancholy that had settled itself in your town. 

After a month, Vada returns to school. She’s distant and checked out, but she talks to you sometimes. You do everything you can to support her because you are holding on to the hope that she will eventually return to her old self. She tells you she’s in therapy, but she doesn’t think it’s going to help. She’s absent even when she’s standing in front of you. 

You can feel yourself checking out at the same rate Vada does. Every visit to Stanford is a tug of war of guilt for not being at school and terror at the day you won’t make these trips anymore. It’s enough to drive you to start swiping your mom's pills. Not many, but you’re up to two a week. The day Vada comes to class high, you recognize it immediately. You feel too hypocritical to say anything to her about it.

———

The day your mother dies is a sunny one. The sky is blue and wispy clouds float by, the sun beaming brightly in every window. You’d always imagined a lightning storm, rain pelting the windows, and wails of grief getting lost in crashes of thunder. But reality was so much harder to cope with.

She’d passed in her sleep, as peacefully as it could have been considering the circumstances. The sunshine and knowing she was at peace did nothing to soothe the raw agony inside of you. Your father did his best to hold it together, but after her body was taken, you could hear his sobs through his closed door. You waited for the tears to come, but they never did. There was a pit in your stomach and your heart felt like it was no longer beating. Your hands shook and you couldn’t eat. But you never cried. Not that day. 

You sat on your bed, unmoving, until the sun sank below the horizon and the moon and stars shone through your window. The shadows of the day danced through your room until you were washed in darkness. You swallowed one of your mother's pills. Numbness was easier than sorrow. The drug dulled the most difficult feelings, but they weren’t gone completely. 

The walls of your room began to close in on you, the ceiling dropping low and the air sucked out. You roll off your bed and crawl to the door, making a sluggish escape. You use the walls of the hallway to drag yourself to your feet and make your way out your front door. The warm night air wasn’t refreshing, it was thick and muggy. It felt like a blanket around your head. 

You walk down your driveway and turn right, making your way down the street with no destination in mind. A light breeze picked up, licking at the sweat gathered on your t-shirt and feeling like a sigh of relief. You wander until you hear laughter cracking out in the distance. There’s a park up the road, you remember, and point yourself in its direction. You watch your feet move one in front of the other. 

Another laugh rings out, closer now, and a scream followed by more laughter. You look up from your feet and see two girls on the basketball court. The streetlights faintly highlight their hair and the white styrofoam cups in their hands. One of them looks shockingly familiar, and as you tread closer, you realize why. It’s Vada and Mia. 

She looks a little like her old self, maybe a bit more slinky and loose. You assume the contents of their cups are what’s making her more gangly than usual. You watch her take Mia’s cup and throw it, the red liquid spattering on the blacktop and Mia screeching. She sprints away from her and toward you, skidding to a halt when she finally sees you.

“Y/n?”

“Hey Vada.” Your voice is monotone, your face inexpressive.

Mia sidles up to Vada’s side, curious. She gives you a small wave and a bashful smile. Vada glances between the two of you and jerks her head back. You can smell the wine on them, but you’re too high to care. You eye Mia curiously, surprised she wasn’t as much of a good girl as she appeared. With your senses dulled and your mind fuzzy, you couldn’t see the sudden switch in Vada. She shifts defensively and frowns at you.

“What are you like, stalking me now or something?” 

Her speech is slurred, but it’s laced with animosity. You hear it, but you don’t understand it. What could she possibly have to be mad at you about?

“Huh?” 

“What are you doing here?” She stepped toward you and then stumbled to the side. Mia caught her by the elbow and shot you an apologetic look.

“I was just going for a walk. My mom-“ you cut yourself off as your throat tightens. You don’t want to tell her like this. You don’t want to tell her at all. Because then it’s real. 

Vada tilts her head and giggles, “Oh my god are you having gay panic right now?”

You frown and cringe backward, “Gay panic? What-“

“You are! Look at you you’re blushing!”

Mia pulls at Vada’s arm, “Vada,” she says lowly, sensing your distress, “stop. Let’s go.”

You shake your head in disbelief and turn to walk away, “I don’t have time for this.”

Vada rips her arm from Mia’s grasp and stumbles toward you, speaking to your back, “You never have time! Just like you didn’t have time to be there the day we almost fucking died!”

You spin around, anger bubbling up in your gut, “Never have-are you kidding right now? You know where I was. My mom-“

“Fuck your mom dude!”

Your open hand cracks across her cheek before you even know what’s happening. You regret it immediately, watching her hand come up to her face and her jaw drop open. Mia grabs her arm again and pulls her backward as you turn and run. You run as long and as far as you can, your shoes slapping on the pavement. Streetlights blur past and when you stop, gasping for breath a block from your house, the tears finally come. You drop onto the curb and cradle your head in your hands, silent sobs wracking your body.

———

Seeing yourself in the mirror is a shock. You’re skinny, skinnier than you ever have been. The black suit your father bought you was a size too big now, and it looked like it was swallowing you whole. It felt apt. You did feel like you were drowning. Funny how often your lungs seemed to be desperate for air these days. 

Your fallout with Vada made you feel even more isolated. You wanted to reach out to her, to tell her what had happened. To apologize for slapping her. To say you were sorry for not telling her how bad everything had become. But part of you hadn’t forgiven her. She didn’t know about your mother that night, but still, she shouldn’t have said what she said. And she hadn’t reached out to apologize either. Your friendship was lost in the ocean of grief that had flooded the space between the two of you. 

The funeral was brief, and you hardly remember any of it. It passed you by in a haze of sepulchral floral arrangements, distant relatives and sniffles. The church was filled to the brim with people who wished to say their farewells. The speeches droned on, and you said your part, but you’re not sure what you actually said. 

The sun was beating down again as the procession moved outside, the scent of freshly turned earth and grass seeping into your dark clothes. When everything was said and done and the people clearing out, you stand at the edge of the hole, watching as two men push the dirt over the ledge. Your father had gone to mingle in the crowd to give people his thanks and receive their apologies. It all felt so hollow to you. Everything seemed like the set on a movie, like you’d turn a corner and the production crew would be there scrambling to recreate the illusion. 

A figure steps up to your side, staring down into the hole with you. You don’t need to turn your head to know it’s Vada. The emptiness in your chest is too vast to feel anything about her being there. You can see her look up at you, then back down to her feet, and back at you again. You weren’t in the mood to humor her. 

“Can we talk?” She asks quietly.

You glance down at her and turn away shaking your head, “Not today, Vada.”

She shuffles her feet to keep up with you as you stride away from your mothers grave. Her brows are furrowed with worry, she’s chewing on her cheek and wringing her fingers. She hurries around in front of you, forcing you to stop. You sigh and look away from her, over her head toward your dad. 

“Please, y/n. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

You finally look down at her, there are tears welling in her eyes. Instead of making you feel forgiving, you feel irritated. She’s crying at your mothers funeral. It feels selfish. You shake your head at her and make to move around her but she blocks you again. 

“I fucked up,” she says her hands held out in front of you, palms facing forward to stop you. “I fucked up and I was mean and drunk and jealous and I’m sorry.”

Your expression is mixed between irritated and confused, “Jealous?”

“Yeah.”

“Of what?” You’re beginning to lose your patience. 

Vada sighs and gestures idly, “I don’t know it’s stupid.”

You step around her again, your composure officially deserted. She grabs your elbow and scurries around in front of you again.

“Seriously Vada, my patience for this right now is nonexistent.” You pull your arm from her grip.

“I thought you liked Mia. I was jealous. You kept looking at her that night.”

You would be shell shocked if you could feel anything aside from the barren cavern in your chest. You sigh and step around her again, feeling like you were being forced to execute the worlds worst choreography. 

“I slept with Mia.” Her voice is small behind you.

You freeze, ice exploding in your veins. You turn, your voice as cold as your blood, “Let me get this straight. You were jealous because you thought I liked Mia, you insult my mother, who I just fucking buried, and then you had sex with her?”

Vada cringes, wringing her hands again, “It sounds pretty bad when you put it that way.”

“When I…put it- you are something else Vada Cavell.” You throw your hands up and walk away from her, fuming. 

She chases after you, one last time, rounding in front of you just before you reach your dad. “I love you y/n. I know I fucked up and I know I should have told you forever ago but I do.”

You blink down at her, “Right now, that’s not enough.”

She finally lets you leave.

———

You stay home from school for the next two weeks. Your dad had granted you as much time as you needed, and gave you as much space as you wanted. Extended family members passed through your living room and kitchen like blurs of heartache. The hospital equipment was cleared out of the house. The chemical smell faded faster than you thought it would. 

You spent most of your time in your room, keeping it dark and cool. You couldn’t bear to see the sun shining and the kids playing in the street when everything seemed so bleak. You were anguishing over losing your mom, and you were heartbroken over losing Vada. But you couldn’t bring yourself to call her.

Three days after the funeral, Vada came to your house. You told your dad to send her home. She came back the next day and the next. After a week of showing up on your doorstep, your dad let her inside. He came to your room first, cracking the door open and leaning on the frame.

“You need to talk to her hon.”

You groan and roll over, your back facing the door. When you don’t speak, he opens the door wider, stepping into the room. He comes around the bed and sits on the side, resting his hand on your leg over the comforter.

“She’s been here every day this week. I can’t turn her away again. Just talk to her.”

You sigh and sit up, looking at him. His eyes are swollen and his face sags with age and sorrow. If seeing Vada will make him feel incrementally better, you decide you’re willing to do it. You nod once, and he pats your leg. 

On his way out the door he turns and tells you, “Take it from me baby girl, you never know when you’ll run out of time.”

The sentiment slams into your chest like an eighteen wheeler. You had been selfish in your misery. He was struggling too, and here you were wasting away in the dark. You drag yourself out of bed and over to your window. You pull open the curtain, the sun is setting in brilliant orange and reds, turning the sky pink. A group of kids are playing roller hockey in the street, laughing.

���Hey.” Vada’s voice comes behind you.

You turn to look at her, and for an instant you feel lighter. You’d missed her more than you’d realized. You gesture to your bed and return to it, sitting cross legged leaning against the headboard. Vada climbs on at the foot, mirroring you. You’re both quiet for a while, searching for what to say to each other. 

“Y/n, I just want to tell you that I’m sorry. Again. But for more than that night with Mia. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you what was going on with me. I’m sorry-“

You reach out and take her hand in yours, “I’m sorry too. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner what was going on.”

She shakes her head, running her thumb across the back of your hand. “This is all so fucked up.” Her voice cracks, “I didn’t know how to handle it. I still don’t know how to handle it.”

Part of you wants to retreat. You’d been numb for so long, being vulnerable felt like it might kill you. But Vada’s eyes are wide and sad and hopeful, and you can’t pull away from her. 

“What about Mia?” You ask her quietly, your voice hoarse from days of silence.

She laughs, the sound choked in her throat around tears. “We’re just friends. We did a stupid thing looking for relief.”

“And did you find it?”

“What? Relief? No.”

You nod, chewing on your cheek. “I don’t know where to go to find it.”

“I don’t know if we can.” 

You look down at your joined hands and nod.

“But,” she says, “I feel a little bit of it right now. With you.”

You lift your eyes to meet hers, “Me too.”

She leans forward and presses the softest kiss to your lips, her fingers squeezing yours. You close your eyes and kiss her back, and you do feel some respite from the emptiness inside of you. The smallest spark of life. 

You let out a watery laugh, “I guess our grief is terminal.”

She leans her forehead against yours, closing her eyes and smiling. “Maybe, but at least we’re not alone.”

[imagine-knowing-a-name]

The End of the Line

Summary: Out of all your missions, successful or not, none have managed to kill you yet. But you don't realise that even surviving them comes at a cost to your health, even if Jeff vows to make it better.

Word Count: 2261 Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader Warnings: not proof read, illness, death, and a very sad Jeff (angst) A/N: THIS IS NOT CANON TO THE JFU BY THE WAY. THIS IS NON-CANON!! it's not the best thing I've written and I lost motivation to write the middle section of this in full depth, so hopefully it all still makes sense. Hope you enjoy! :) (it's not canon!!)

"You should have gone to the doctor; I told you not to cancel it!"

"We had a mission, Nat. People needed saving. That's our job."

"You need saving.” Natasha sighs, her head in her hands, before she looks up at you. Pleading. “How far along is it?”

"It's one of the most common types; people survive it every day-"

"Y/N. How far along is it?"

Outside your bedroom, Jeff inches closer, sensing his parents' distress. He doesn’t like it when you argue, and he especially doesn’t like how upset Natasha seems to be. "It's too far for radiotherapy." He hears you mutter, your already low voice muffled further by the door. The suspense of knowing only half the story becomes too much for Jeff and he soon bursts into the room.

He sees you and Natasha sitting side by side on the bed: you with your hands in your lap, watching your own fingers fidget, while Natasha watches you, her bloodshot eyes scanning your face as if it’s the last time she can.

Determining who needs comfort most, Jeff trots towards Natasha and repeatedly butts at her legs, attempting to ease her worries. He may not be sure why she’s crying, but he knows he can make it better; he always makes things better. 

It seems to work when the assassin smiles at him through watery eyes, even picking him up and settling him on her lap. Jeff smiles back, proud to be of service, and happily purrs when Natasha strokes his head. She pets him quickly, to begin with, then slows until her hands stop right above Jeff’s earholes. Jeff continues to smile at her, hoping soon she will remember to keep stroking him and restore his hearing.

"Can you hear me, Jeff?" Natasha whispers. The land shark doesn’t reply but instead stares forward with a wide grin and lolled tongue, not giving any visible clues that he’d even noticed her speak. “Good.”

Natasha turns to you again, her expression graver now that Jeff can’t overhear. “I want you to be honest with me, Y/N, please, without tangents or deflections: what is the survival rate?”

That was the question you had been expecting and dreading since you first got your diagnosis; the answer is easy to find, and you know you can’t keep the truth from Natasha, but a small part of you wishes she would leave it be, that she hadn’t asked the question.

You wish that she never had to know.

But you can't always have that wish; this is happening, and you have to think about her, your wife. It's better for her to hear it from you.

"On average... 1 in 10."

A sharp inhale from Natasha; she is trying her best to keep it together, nodding for your sake. "And for you... Are you on the average?" You hear her voice shake but don't comment on it.

"They found it late. The odds are slimmer."

There is a long pause, and then Natasha breaks, a racking sob emerging as you wrap your arms around her. Jeff is not so clueless anymore, and despite Natasha's best efforts, he can tell there is something very, very wrong.

"Mrrr?" Jeff asks as he tilts his head towards you. Natasha releases him from her grasp, restoring his hearing and allowing him to walk in your direction.

You hold out your arms and let him cuddle closer before telling him the truth, “I’m sick, Jeff.” Tears fall sporadically onto his smooth head and you inhale sharply; it really is no easier to say a second time."I don't know if you even know what cancer is, but I'm gonna keep fighting it, try to stay with you and Nat, but… well, it's not guaranteed that I'll get better."

Jeff silently hops out of your lap and exits the room, leaving you worried that you've said too much…that he might be upset, angry, or just needing space to cope. Assuming the latter, you do nothing to stop him; you simply watch him leave. Natasha leans over and you wrap an arm around her shoulder; after a life of missions, countless bullet wounds, and a plethora of near-death scares, you never thought it would end like this.

The two of you are still in that position, contemplating the ironies of life, when Jeff returns. You suddenly sit up straight, relieved to have Jeff back but also bracing yourself to answer any questions he might have. But instead of that, the land shark trails a blanket behind him, while his favourite toy is balanced atop his head. He drops both in front of you before walking out once more.

Natasha reacts first, starting with a small chuckle, that grows into a full blown laugh when she meets your eye and sees you struggling not to do the same. Soon enough, the absurdity of the situation – especially after the gravity of the previous conversation – leads to you laughing along with your wife. You keep meeting her eyes in an attempt to ask a silent question of 'do you understand what's going on?', but it is clear her answer is 'no' and all you're accomplishing is reviving her laughter every time it reaches its dying stages.

Luckily, your confusion is put to rest just minutes later. Jeff pushes a large, locked, and recognisable tin of treats through the door – they are the special kind of treats that you usually reserve for when Jeff is ill, a small treat to help him feel better. The pieces click in your mind and you realise that the items Jeff brought are not as eclectic as you previously thought. The blanket, the toy, the treats – they are all the items you give to Jeff when he's sick.

"What's all this?" Natasha asks him. Her tone is still light, and she looks to you to share the amusement. You smile gently, but it is a surprise to you that she hasn't put the pieces together herself – it's rare for her to be trailing you in her understanding. The knowledge of your condition is still new to her, you remember, and you realise she has already pushed it from her mind, there would be no question about Jeff's actions otherwise. Natasha knows you are going to die. And she is refusing to believe it.

"Mrrrr!"

"He wants to make me okay again," you translate, and Natasha's previously joyous face falls when she's forced to remember. The expression pains you to watch so you turn to Jeff instead.

"Mrrrr?" he asks.

“Yeah, Jeff, yeah it’s working. I feel better already.” The land shark hums contentedly at your reassurance. “Now come on up, bud, are you sleepy? I am. We can take a nap together.”

“I’ll be outside,” Natasha murmurs, her expression still not lifted, “call if you need anything.” You note her sunken eyes and the worried frown and read it for what it is: a request for space, for you to allow her to process this.

You nod. “We’re going to be okay, aren’t we Jeff?”

She reads that for what it is: a promise larger than this moment alone… and a lie.

As the months pass, changes in your life are inevitable: you ground yourself from field missions, the treatments and their side effects taking too great a toll for you to safely perform your job. But while your life has to change, the same is not true for Natasha and Jeff. Though they attempt to change their routines to suit you – Natasha offers to work from home, while Jeff proposes trips to other rooms in the house instead of the beach where he would rather be – you deny them both, hiding the true extent of your weakness in order that they keep living the life they deserve to live.

It works, for a time, Natasha still takes missions, Yelena takes Jeff when you're too weak to entertain him, and the team works better than ever in their assignment to keep you rested. But at your next check-up, you realise it was all in vain.

You’re given time to contemplate in the hospital, and you use it wisely: you think of Natasha and how you will tell her, knowing the second you do she’ll rush home and never leave your side again. You think of your life and everything leading to now – sure, there’s plenty more out there, but if the doctor is right, then you’re satisfied with what you’ve had. The life you’ve lived wasn’t bad at all. Finally, you think of Jeff, who is still so young; you ask the nurse to call Yelena, if the cancer is spreading then you want to spend every last second with Jeff and give him as many happy memories as you can.

The land shark in question barrels into you the moment you cross out of the hospital’s threshold; Yelena sprints forward to catch you, giving you stability while Jeff eagerly circles the two of you like he’s drawing a figure of eight. 

“Hello to you too, Jeff,” you laugh. You try to embed his contented purrs in your brain, forever wanting to live in that moment, crouched on the floor and scratching him behind his fin.

But then Yelena asks: “was it good news?” and reality comes crashing back down. 

It’s a funny thing, that moment. Around you visitors, patients, and workers all filter in and out, Jeff doesn’t notice a thing, still roaming happily, but for you – and for Yelena, since she knows as soon as your face falls – the answer to the Widow’s question slows time to a halt just so it can drain joy out of every molecule of your surroundings.

“Oh” is all Yelena says.

“Yeah,” you say, “maybe we should go to the car.”

Yelena wordlessly leads the way. Meanwhile, Jeff seems close to bursting with how much he has to tell you of his time at Yelena’s. After one nod, the floodgates open to spew what seems to be a minute-by-minute recount of the week.

“I remember that one, Jeff, I was still at home then,” you interrupt, but that only forces Jeff to restart from the beginning – you decide to stay quiet after that. In truth, Jeff’s narration is exactly what you need; the journey home would be silent otherwise with you staring out of the window, lost in thought, and Yelena driving, facing forwards, not knowing what to say or what to ask. The conversation would come – if not now then when Natasha returns – but for this moment, Jeff’s tale of losing his plush toy under Yelena’s bed makes for ample distraction. You could live that moment a thousand times over.

A soft ‘mrrr’ sounds again from just outside the hospital door, this time followed by a scratch, and then silence falls. Natasha knows she should get it – to let Jeff in and break him from a limbo he isn’t even aware he is in, but she can’t bring herself to do it, not when she knows what awaits him when the barrier of the door is removed. To him, your life is as certain as that of Schrödinger's cat, a fate unknown to the landshark; except Jeff’s thoughts rarely err on the side of realism and his optimistic tendencies generally benefit his perception…until they give him further to fall.

And yet, when he whines again, when the nurse goes to open the door for him, and even when he comes barrelling down the ward to see you, Natasha stays frozen in place, doing nothing to stop his inevitable realisation.

Your heart had stopped eleven minutes before.

“Mrrrr?” Jeff greets, nuzzling at your leg. You don’t reply. He notices Natasha sob, but thinks nothing of it, she had been crying more over the past few weeks. 

“Mrrr?” he tries again; you had been growing weaker, but still mustered the energy to reach for him whenever he was allowed to visit, unless you were asleep. So he turns to Natasha, she cannot understand him the same way you do, but signing allows her a base level understanding of his language. He nudges first to get her attention, then waves a hand down his face: ‘Asleep?’

Natasha’s sobs suddenly get heavier, jolting Jeff but ultimately spurring him into action to comfort his other parent: ‘are you okay?’. The assassin takes a deep, shaky breath, but wipes her eyes and nods.

"Y/N, um, they are asleep…in a way." Staring into Jeff's hopeful eyes only brings more tears to Natasha's own; she has to look away, her eyes falling to watch as she spins the ring on her finger. "You remember how we said that a time might come where one of us isn't around anymore? If Y/N's sickness didn't go away?"

Jeff nods.

"Well that's happened. Y/N's asleep and they-" her voice cracks- "they're not going to be waking up. Y/N is gone, Jeff. They're gone." Through blurry eyes, Natasha risks a glance back to Jeff, only to see his whole body drooped like never before and the hope – the belief that had inspired you to keep fighting throughout the whole illness – was gone from his eyes.

"Mrrrr?"

"I…I don't know what you're saying, Jeff, I'm sorry, that was always…" Natasha trails off, not willing to accept you were gone just yet.

Jeff mrrs again; he signs as he goes but his hands fly faster then Natasha can comprehend, at least in this state. 'I failed' she catches before he turns to where you rest, 'I'm sorry'.

Jeff taglist: @unexpected-character @wolferine

[tojigasm]

somewhere saw the prompt “ure too pretty to cry bad tears” and dilf!jake has rotted my brain.. the mental illness is real

this is so Lana Del Rey (here's part 2)

It's when you confess. When you pour your heart and soul into sobs and tears that seem to swallow you whole as he holds you.

The rough of his hand against your back, cupping you to his chest in such a fashion it does little to soothe you, pulling hoarse cries and broken sobs from your raw throat.

You're not sure what you expected, not when you'd decided on a whim to confess your deep felt adoration for the older na'vi. Something you'd kept hidden away in your flushed grins and giggles, and the way your stomach flipped when he'd come around.

You suppose it was rather naive, rather unrealistic for you to assume he'd felt the same way. Yet, a part of you held onto the hope that he did, even if he'd pretended for a sliver of that moment when he only stared down at you, brows furrowing.

And you hated it. Hated the way you knew what was coming, knew by the sad smile and the deep furrow of his brows that he didn't feel the same. That, and a part of you always knew, you'd just be the girl who he'd seen his daughter in, nothing more and nothing less.

"I know, sweetheart." he speaks into your hair, kissing your temple, "I know." but he doesn't understand, and it only urges you to cry harder into his chest, humiliated and heartbroken yet you can't find the strength to pull away from his warm comfort, though in the end you know it will never be the same. He'll never look at you the same, the relationship will never be the same, and eventually you'll part, and you might not even see him again after that. And that terrifies you, but all you can do is cry.

You're blubbering into his shoulder, small hands digging crescents into his azure skin. "M'sorry-" you try, voice cracking through with another rough sob.

Jake only soothes a hand over your head, "it's okay." and his voice is so soft, and you can hear the sadness and mirrored hurt in the way he tucks you under his chin, rocking you gently.

He holds you like that for a long while, letting you settle and play with his tail as you calm. Still sniffling and on the verge of breaking down once more. And he can hear it, much like Tuk cries right after falling; surprised and scared. But he doesn't know how to comfort you anymore, doesn't know how to look at you without confusing you.

Jake drags a hand down your back softly and you crack again, crying into your arms in his lap. "C'mon, sweetheart, y'gotta calm down," he links your hand with his, drawing circles with the pad of his thumb over your soft skin. "You're too pretty to be cryin' this much over an old man like me," he chuckles softly.

you pull out of his lap, sobbing when you meet his face, "you don't understand!" you nearly shriek, an immature sobbing fit yet amid your tears you hope he hears you. or that maybe the way it comes out is somehow different this time, and maybe he likes you back.

"Honey-" Jake tries, watching you stand on wobbly legs, wiping at your nose as you pant. His eyes harden and you know you've done it. It's the look he gives hsi kids when they misbheave; his ears faltten some and his voice deepens," You're just a kid."

He doesn't wait for you to respond, instead, he moves to his feet, making his way to stand beside you. When you don't look at him, he grabs at your chin, turning your head upwards to meet his amber eyes, "Go home."

[purpleyoonn]

Dance of Time 4

D A N C E   O F   T I M E

“A love like that was a serious illness, an illness from which you never entirely recover.” -Bukowski

Summary: You were finally back in the hometown you left right after graduation, researching the mysterious manor that laid outside of the town limits. Your family was acting weird, and the owner of the manor seemed to know more about you than he should. Everything changed when you entered the manor, and you weren’t sure your dance with time was going to last very long.

Pairing: Vampire BTS x Human Reincarnated Reader

Status: random updates

Genre: soulmate au, reincarnation, yandere themes, possessive boys, angst, fluff,

Warnings: smut, violence, tempers, mentions of death, murder, some explicit descriptions of violence, blood,

Chapter Warnings: more flashback scenes, yandere boys, mc deals with her feelings in a weird way, rage room, mc’s creative insults, not much

Taglist: @psychosupernatural @carolinexkpop @strxwbloody @strawberry-moonpies​ @dustyinkpages​ @iamkookiesforyou​ @anaspectoflife​ @btsw1fe​ @yoongisgirl69​ @toughbook​ @yoongibabs​ @mageprincess7​ @dahliasbouqet​ @wittyreader​ @peachandmomo​ @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered​ @m1sss1mp​ @yourleftsock​ @skyys-universe​ @cryingpages​  @drissteele​ @dustyinkpages​  @crushedblackroses​ @fluffy-canada-pancakes​ @blaaiissee​  @iiitsmaria​  @azazel-nyx​  @g-h-o-s-t-b-a-b-i​ @knjkitten​ @kleirielk​ @foreverweareyoung7​ @lachimolala22019​ @namuficxs​ @94z-93​ @kimgmzmc​ @thenaverse​

Masterlist // Chapter 2 // Chapter 4

————————————————–

Previously on Dance of Time:

“Who is Ellie?” Were the only words to leave your lips as sobs started to sound out instead. Their eyes seemed indifferent to your words, despite the sparkle of happiness glittering within.

“You.”

“Well, I didn’t think she would take it like this.”

“What do you mean? You thought she would go along with everything?” Jimin looked at his mate, eyes narrowed in disbelief. Taehyung shrugged, placing his nose in Hobi’s neck as he sat on his lap. He was in a grumpy mood after you broke his nose and Hobi’s vanilla scent always calmed him down.

They had to lock you in your old room so you wouldn’t try to run away from them again. You already broke the window in the library that overlooked the large garden. For your own safety they made sure you couldn’t break anything in the room, not wanting you to try and hurt yourself again.

Telling you everything had not gone to plan, as some of them had previously hoped.

You stood there for a couple of seconds before making a run for the door, shoving your body against it as you tried to turn the doorknob. You had tears down your cheeks, impeding your vision as you tried to leave.

Jungkook was shocked when you managed to get rid of Taehyung’s arms around your waist, the youngest of the coven having widened his eyes at your actions. He might have been naive to the idea that you would welcome them with open arms and soft lips.

You were their mate, and you were gaining your memories back, so why did you try to get away from them? Jungkook couldn’t comprehend your actions. He couldn’t fathom the thought of finally having you back in their arms and you wanting to leave.

“Darling, you’re going to hurt yourself.” Jimin had tried to remove your grip from the door, had moved forward so you wouldn’t hurt your shoulder against the old oak door.

“Don’t touch me you overgrown mosquito!” You yelled as you felt another set of arms wrap around you, effectively holding your arms against your chest and pulling you away from the door.

“Overgrown mosquito…” Namjoon breathed out, a small smile on his face as he heard the insult come from your lips. You still had the same favor for creative insults.

However, the smile left his lips when you brought your head back quick, knocking you and Jin over as his nose started to bleed, crooked and bent. You pushed yourself up and away from them before they could blink, rising to push at the window to get onto the small balcony that laid outside the glass.

Namjoon lunged for you, grabbing your waist and turning you to face him, but you kicked and threw your body against the window, effectively smashing the glass and cutting little pieces of the skin of your hands and knocking Hoseok out of the way who had come to try and block the window as an escape route.

“Darling!” Jungkook rushed forward to help Namjoon now that he had managed to restrain you, keeping you held tightly against his chest, facing him so he doesn’t end up like Jin or Hoseok. Jungkook crowded against your back, making sure that you wouldn’t be able to get away this time.

“Darling, I know you have a lot of feelings right now, but that’s no way—”

“Oh, go put a sock in it, you limp needle!” You growled out, interrupting Jin from continuing his sentence. Yoongi could hear his elder mate’s jaw clench and his nostrils flare as your words set in.

“Limp needle? How dare—” Yoongi cut him off this time, moving to pull the elder behind him before gesturing for Jungkook and Namjoon to move towards the door.

“Why don’t you go and put or littlest mate in her room? Give her some time to think everything through. Maybe she’ll calm down enough for lunch?” He gives you a hopeful look, only for your own eyes to narrow back at him.

“I’m not going to be eating with you! Who knows, maybe this is all a trick so you’ll be able to eat me for lunch!” Your voice fades away as Namjoon carries you to your old room, his grip in your thighs and back tight so you can’t kick him.

Jimin had hoped you would accept them right away, but he also knew that you were not going to just let them welcome you with open arms and promises reiterated from the past. He could sense the frustration and fear in your scent, he could sense the tightness in your muscles and the way your fists clenched as Taehyung held you.

He knew that this was going to be a tough courting period, that you would try your hardest to fight the bond you didn’t realize you had already accepted when you were at lunch with Namjoon earlier that week.

Your dreams and visions of lifetimes past would only get stronger, more potent as time went on. He hated that he couldn’t wait until you were seeking them out, just like you did before. He missed how you would quietly watch him, waiting until the moment you thought best to interrupt him, your desire for touch overriding any other thought.  

“Let me out of here,” A crash could be heard as you threw something against one of the walls, followed by a sigh leaving Namjoon’s lips. “You big bunch of dinosaurs!”

Yoongi held a grin on his lips, loving how feisty you were getting. He found the insults to be creative and witty. Simply put, you were being a brat, and he couldn’t help but want to go up there and have you say those to his face as he moves at a punishing pace.

“Well, at least her names are getting more creative.” Hoseok lets out a breathy laugh at being called a dinosaur. “I wonder what else she will come up with?”

“She should calm down soon. You remember how she was as a child. She has to get her thoughts in order somehow.” Namjoon brought up.

You always had issues expressing yourself, internalizing everything and then melting down later when everything got to be way too much for you. You would come home from school crying, needing an outlet to help you collect your thoughts and make sense of them.

It wasn’t healthy, but they would help you with it now that they had you back.

Maybe you could pick up gardening again?

“Do you think she’s run out of energy?” Hoseok asks once the room went silent. They couldn’t hear anything from you now, the floor above them giving no indication of any movement.

“Give it a couple minutes, maybe she is just refueling more so she can break the desk in there next.” Jin quipped; still upset at the way you treated him.

“Oh, stop it. You were the first to mate with her last time. Just give her some time, Jin.” Namjoon brought a hand up to the back of Jin’s neck, giving it a gentle squeeze before standing up from the couch.

“She is not the same person we remember. She is not Ellie no matter how much we wish her to be. But she is still our mate.” Namjoon’s next words were unspoken, but still heard by everyone in the room.

“She is still ours.”

You, on the other hand, were beyond enraged that these men just claimed you were theirs, with no prompt from you, and locked you in a room when you disagreed with them and tried to leave.

You should have known something was wrong when the man who never wanted to be interviewed before about the manor suddenly deciding to talk with you about it. Your “luck” was purely an opportunity for the men to enact their plan to take you.

You had tried to knock the door down, but it seemed to be reinforced with steel. You tried the window and came up with nothing, the glass thick enough for not even a bullet to break it, you guessed. This meant you were stuck, and you didn’t like it.

You had no remorse for any of the things the men had furnished the room with, choosing a pretty looking vase to smash against the wall first. You were in your very own rage room, smashing and breaking anything you could see.

However, when you went to smash a small table into the dresser, you faltered in your steps. Something within you was keeping you from doing any damage to the ancient dresser. It was ornate in design, the intricate woodwork had you stopping and moving to get a closer look. 

You ran your hand up the flower design running up the bottom of the dresser, pressing softly on one of the petals by the edge and jumped back in shock.

The bottom panel of the dresser had fallen, revealing a hatch that held a couple of things. You noticed an old hairbrush with colors of lavender and cream, a handkerchief, and a book. You reached for the book, an innate need to see what was inside running through you.

Picking the book up, you moved back over to the bed, your footsteps soft as you did. Sitting in the middle of the large bed, you couldn’t help but to take a deep breath as your fingers grasped the cover of the book, turning it over to reveal handwriting that was oh so familiar to you.

Love does not end with death.

Some things are meant to last forever.

Your own handwriting stared back at you, the black ink peering into your soul and making your heart skip. It was as if your past self knew what would happen to her. And it crushed your soul all the same.

Turning the page again, unable to continue looking at the familiar script, you found old pictures, piercing eyes staring into your own. You recognized yourself within the image; the caption reading “Ellie and Jungkook”.

You recognized Jungkook as the man who helped bring you back to this room. You now understand the look of hesitation as he closed the door in your face. The forlorn look as he struggled with Namjoon’s decision.

You turned the page again to see the caption reading “Ellie, Jimin, and Taehyung. The morning after”. You were in the middle of the bed, with one man on either side of you, looking at you with an overabundance of love and adoration on their faces as they looked over at you.

You closed the book with a huff of exhaustion. You couldn’t understand why they looked at you with the same loving and adoring glance as they gave Ellie. They didn’t know you. You were not Ellie, nor would you ever be.

You could feel tears begin to fall down your cheeks as your breathing picked up. You were so overwhelmed by a flurry of emotions and things you didn’t understand that you couldn’t hold yourself back anymore.

You couldn’t understand why you wanted them to comfort you as you broke down. Why did you want them to whisper words of reassurance, of promise, as they held you. You hated the feelings building in your chest at your own presence, alone in the unfamiliar room.  You wanted to hate the way they made you feel at a single glance, but you couldn’t.

You looked so much like their Ellie, and your feelings were soon becoming the ones she undoubtedly felt towards them. But you weren’t her, and you didn’t want to just lay down and let them pretend like you were. You were not her and you were not going to be a replacement like they wanted you to be.

It actually made you mad how easily you were falling for them in the little time you had been alone in the large room. What did they think? A couple of measly items from your past self and an old album would have you rushing to them, declarations of love pouring from your lips?

You threw the album away from you, crossing your arms at your chest as you tried to come up with a way to get out of the room again. You couldn’t understand why you were angry at the men, besides them kidnapping you. There was something building in your chest, something that had tears flowing down your cheeks, unable to stop the onslaught of them.

Somewhere, deep down that you wouldn’t acknowledge, you knew that you were upset that they weren’t with you, holding you like your body seemed to remember. You were upset and missing something that you remembered from your past life, something you never got in this one.

Soon, your angry tears turned into wistful tears, something compelling you to pull the album back to yourself, opening it up again and turning through the pages that tugged on the corners of your mind, nostalgia pulling at your heart.

You hated not knowing why you were feeling the way you were.

-*-*-

Not even the smell of food could bring you out of the cocoon you built, trapping and hiding yourself away from the seven men who made your heartstrings appear out of nowhere, tugging and yanking at them.

It was warm under the blankets, and you knew that someone would be coming to try and get you soon, at least, you thought they were. You had no clue if they could eat normal food, or even drink water. You didn’t know anything about them other than that they claimed to be your soulmates and they drank blood. Oh, and that they seemingly lived forever.

You were right though, soon enough you heard footsteps get closer causing you to bury yourself deeper into your cocoon. You didn’t want to see them and have your heart melt again.

When the door opened, you stayed still, hoping they would think you were sleeping and leave you alone. It didn’t seem to work.

“Darling, we have food for you.” Jimin called out, straining his ears to hear your breathing coming from the bundle of blankets on the bed. He assessed the damage you caused to your old room before moving forward, Jungkook walking quietly behind him.

You could hear their soft footsteps, the creak of the wooden floor giving them away. You hadn’t responded to Jimin’s voice, remembering his name and voice from one of the stupid visions you couldn’t figure out how to stop.

“Do you think she is asleep?” Jungkook whispered in Jimin’s ear, causing your heart to speed up, hoping you got away without seeing them. They both heard your heartbeat though, causing a little laughter to come from the two.

“Baby, we can hear your heartbeat. We know you are awake.” Jimin spoke again, jumping onto the bed and jostling you a little.

“So, why don’t you come out of there and eat your lunch?” Jungkook suggested, only for you to shake your head, inadvertently making your cocoon of blankets shake.

“We ordered your favorite from the diner. The waitress said you used to get it all the time growing up?” Jungkook moved forward, holding the plate of food carefully as he sat on the edge of the bed. He and Jimin were elected to be the ones to bring your food up, Namjoon suggesting you wouldn’t want to eat in the dining room with them. Hoseok almost snuck up with them but Jin had to pull him back to the couch. Instead, Hoseok was elected to go and get the food from the diner with Namjoon.

But in reality, they had all wanted to spend some time with you. They knew if you were in the dining room with them all, more things would be broken and even more feelings hurt, as you still didn’t understand what was going on.  

Your heartbeat sped up a little at the mention of your favorite food, but you knew it was just a ploy to get you out of the room, and out of your little cocoon. You felt safe in here, you didn’t feel safe with them. You wanted to go home.

“It’s just Jungkook and I. We uhm, we weren’t sure if you wanted any of the others to come in.” Jimin spoke, completely unsure of himself and his words, and your heart grew uncomfortable in your chest. These stupid feelings had you wanting to pull the man into your cocoon with you, make him feel safe.

Slowly, you pull the banket that was covering your face down, seeing it was in fact, just Jungkook and Jimin, Jungkook holding your favorite comfort food. The bowl of homemade macaroni and cheese with bacon crumbles on top smelled just like you remembered, and it made you feel even more at ease with the two vampires.

“We thought it might make you feel more comfortable if you ate in here… we can leave if you want?” Jimin’s voice sounded sad, yet hopeful as he finished his sentence. Jungkook had already handed the food to you once you managed to get yourself out of you small cocoon. Neither of the mates wanted to leave you alone again, but they would if you wanted them to.

However, now that your fear, and accompanying adrenalin, had subsided, you were tired, both physically and mentally and all you wanted was to be cuddled and held like when you were younger. You were so exhausted that you went with your instincts and let them stay, even pulling them into your half cocoon and practically laid on Jungkook as you slowly fed yourself.

You started to trust the two with your whole body, not just what memories and feelings you were receiving from your supposed past life. Despite your inner reluctance and fear, you fell asleep with them in your bed after you’re your tummy was full and your body cozy and warm..

[gyqru]

౨ৎ⋆ ˚｡⋆ dare i say im just a sucker for absolute chaos. reader is not safe around me. (little bit dark?)

ethan hated that he couldn't control his own life, that he let his father's words control his mind. repeating every degrading word over and over again.

he never let on, though. ethan never talked to anyone about his issues, not even to you, the only person in his life he seemed to have control over. it was exhilarating to him, finally being in power of something in his life.

his relationship with you seemed perfect; you were his perfection. his naive, malleable, loving girlfriend who looked at him as a savior. he knew you couldn't go a day without him, couldn't think for yourself, needed him to guide you.

the once shy and awkward boy had turned into a knight in shining armor to you. he would mend your wounds and whisper sweet nothings as you sobbed into his shoulder. you melted in his hands like putty, bringing him so much joy.

you clung to him like a lost puppy, looking at him for answers. when you didn't understand something mindy would say, ethan would be there to help you, dumbing down whatever horror movie nonsense mindy spewed out; helping his little girlfriend comprehend what was going on.

being ghostface gave ethan a sense of confidence he never knew he had. the whole shy, loser, nerd facade was just that, a facade. under all of those awkward antics was a killer.

ethan loved how people cowered in fear around him. attacking his group of friends was the highlight of his day, seeing how your big doe eyes stared at him in fear, fat teardrops falling down your face. you whimpered and begged him to have mercy, not to hurt you, which was music to his ears.

he could never bring himself to kill his beloved girlfriend. yet he couldn't stop himself from damaging you.

picking you up by your neck and slamming you repeatedly against a wall, making small cuts on your chest and legs, knowing that once this was done, he'd be there to kiss them better.

it was a sick game of cat and mouse he played, yet he loved how, no matter what, you were always there for him, with open arms and dopey smiles. always making him feel like he was on cloud nine. no one else mattered to you besides ethan.

after the major attack at the carpenters', ethan was the number one suspect. his shitty alibi only worked because beforehand, you two were together before he left you to “go study for econ.”

ethan regretted nothing. it was only you and the carpenter sisters left. there he stood, unmasked, wearing the all-black robe, holding a knife and mask.

your savior was now revealed to be your tormentor, and your whole life crashed. though now ethan wasn’t there to build you back up.

alice talks ⋆ ˚ ꩜ ｡ ⋆୨୧˚

forgive me guys, i really just go into the deepest parts of my brain, pick something random and start to type away. i am just one selfish self indulgent writer. this is just a silly 400 something word drabble. i swear ill feed y’all that part 2 turned series soon.

[gingiesworld]

Love Is Fickle

Part 3

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst. Fluff

Taglist: @username23345 @fxckmiup @marvelogic @dark-hunter16 @moistblobfish

Wanda had waited for a few months now to see when Y/N would return home. Although she also recieved a lot of letters, all dated from when Y/N had joined the military and dropped out of school.

Wanda,

I know that you're probably wondering why I am not there, hell if Vision has anything to do with it, you probably won't even notice I'm gone. But I had to leave Westview, I couldn't stay in a place I don't really belong anymore. My heart doesn't belong there.

I hate that I never really said goodbye to you. I hate myself for not giving you an explanation, but I hope that maybe one day in the future if we do cross paths again I would have the balls to tell you. Tell you everything.

I love you Wanda Maximoff. I always have and I always will.

Y/N Y/L/N

Wanda couldn't help the tears as she read each of the letters. Reading over Y/N's words which they most likely never intended for her to ever receive.

Wanda,

I came home for the first time since I left and I was kind of sad that I never saw you. I guess you're having the time of your life at NYU as you should be tearing that place up with your awesomeness. I wish I could have been there with you, although you probably know I lied to you about getting in. I know my mom won't ever be able to hold her own piss.

I just want you to know how incredibly amazing you are and you are destined for amazing things Wanda.

I love you so much

Y/N Y/L/N

She smiled at some of their words, laughing at some of the stories they had to tell her.

Wanda,

Nat told me about what happened between you and Vision. I'm sorry I can't be there to reassure you that everything will be fine, but everything will be fine in the end Wanda. You will find happiness again.

But the funniest thing happened to me that might make you laugh. The guys thought it would be funny to shave my eyebrows and now I look weird. I even posted a picture so you can have a laugh at it.

Y/N Y/L/N

Wanda laughed as she held the picture in her hands, tears falling as she couldn't really control herself. That was until she heard Peggy and Steve yelling.

"I can't lose you too Steve." Peggy cried out as she held onto his arm.

"I need to find them Peggy. They're our baby." He told her softly. "I need to do this. Bring them home."

"Please." Peggy pleaded with him.

"I will find them Peggy. I will bring them home." He kissed her before he left in the taxi. Peggy clutched at her chest as she cried as Wanda came running out.

"What's going on Peggy?" She questioned as Peggy shook her head. "Is it Y/N?"

"They've been officially declared MIA." She sobbed as Wanda held onto her. Tears of her own falling as all she had left was the memories she had shared in their childhood together.

"I'm going to marry you one day Wanda." 10 year old Y/N stated as the two played in the park.

"I can't wait Y/N/N." Wanda beamed as she kissed their cheek. "My knight in shining armour." The two chuckled before they raced for the swings.

-------

Wanda lay on her bed clutching her stomach, waiting for the painkillers her mom gave her to kick in. Soon to be greeted by a smiling Y/N who held an assortment of sweets, chocolate and soda in their arms.

"Your mom told me that you have got stomach pains so I thought we could watch your favourite show and binge eat." They beamed as Wanda smiled. "I also brought some heat pads." Wanda hugged them before she pulled them down onto the bed with her after setting up the Dick Van Dyke show.

"How do you know it's my period?" She questioned as she held up the countless packs of feminine products.

"You very rarely get ill and we are going through puberty." They told her. "Plus I may have done some research since I don't have a uterus and wanted to make sure you would be ok."

Wanda never realised how she had never noticed that Y/N had been in love with her, even before she started dating Vision. She was too oblivious to the possibility that she could have had something better than the mediocre love that she had with her ex.

"How stupid am I?" Wanda asked Nat as the two sat in her room. Mrs Maximoff was over with Peggy who was broken up. "If I had realised in that moment that I was in love with them, that they were my forever. They wouldn't be missing right now."

"Wanda, no one knows if things would have changed." Nat told her. "As much as they were in love with you, they looked up to their parents. Especially with their father being in the military."

"But." Wanda tried.

"I know you finally figured it out." Nat told her softly. "That's why they asked me to send you the letters they had written to you over the years, even the latest ones."

Wanda sighed as she grabbed the latest ones, looking at the one dated from the day after she went to their building. Opening it with care and shaky hands.

Wanda,

I'm sorry that I left like that, and I hate myself for it. I just hope that you can forgive me but I don't think I am ready to open myself up to you just yet. Even though I am still in love with you but I just can't because I am afraid that this is some sick joke.

I guess that maybe we can use this time apart to figure everything out between us, because I have missed you so much over the years Wanda. I hated that I never done all of the things we dreamt of doing together. And I want to make new memories.

I love you too Wanda

Wanda couldn't help but sob as she held their letter to her chest, Nat wrapping her arms around her as she cried loudly. Her heartbreaking at the thought that she may never see them again.

[multifan2022]

*kinda scared to post this.. Defiantly not my normal territory. Love the damn show though, dont care. Hope its decent. Picturing Cassius as Jacob Elordi. Maybe part 2? if it goes over well, if so ideas? idk if i can even write anymore for real 😶 this took me so fricken long.*

Masterlist

Tiktok that inspired this 1st tiktok and 2nd tiktok

Sighing you looked up at.. What did that say? “Hazbin Hotel”.. “Oookay.” You said drawn out sarcastically as you looked down and closed your eyes. You knew you had to go in, you owed this to your Dark Lady. You swore to her that you would look after her daughter, she had given you everything you ever wanted. Knocking you brace yourself with a smile for your niece Charlie who you could already hear squealing. 

You do smile though that she throws herself at you and hugs you while bouncing on her toes. Vaggie smiles softly while telling her girlfriend that she should bring you inside. Soon your sitting in front of Husk who's making you a drink, Charlie, Vaggie, Alastor and finally Angel and Sir Pentious. The last two had seemed in almost aw when you had finally stepped inside fully and reached up to drop your hood and remove your cloak. Honestly you were use to it, even if it was always flattering. 

As a devout follower of The Dark Lady, Lilith, in your human life you were granted a doll like version of the look you always wanted in life. BUT your time was highly coveted, you had many things to do, even more so in her ladys absence. The seat at her table was something you worked hard for, and something you would never be giving up. You would be here when she returned. “This whole idea is beautiful sweetie. You know if you ever need something, Ill do everything I can to help.” From beside you, you swear you feel Pentious’ tongue touch you when he speaks. He's so close. “I bet your powerful!” 

You smile while looking down, it was a play at shyness but Alastor and Husk could see right through it. “How did such a beaut end up here anyways!” Angel said, laughing and throwing himself on the couch. “Here as in??” You circled your finger in the air “Hell.. or the Hotel?” Ending with pointing at the floor. Hearing a static “Both” you looked at the Radio Demon, under different circumstances you would be creeped out by his never falling smile. But for some reason you werent, you hadnt been scared of anyone in a long time so it wasnt that. But moving on you took a deep breath and said nonchalantly “I'm a follower of Lady Lilith, so of course I ended up here.” 

Husk half chuckled, half scoffed and your head snapped with unnatural speed to him. Chills shot down his neck as the smile on your lips and the look in your eye. He could almost feel you skinning him, when you crossed one leg over your knee and leaned onto the counter and smiled at him he wanted to run. “Ok pussycat.. You wanna know why I'm here.. Let me show you.” Waving your hand a deep deep red smoke encompassing the room as everyone felt the floor fall from under them next thing they knew, they were all standing somewhere none of them knew. Ancient Greece. “Never speak to me again, Cassius!” They heard before turning and falling into your memory. 

Storming down the hall you had never felt such pain, such anger and betrayal. You felt broken. Your favorite colored shorter toga dress whipped around your thighs as you ran. You didn't even know where you were too, running until your toes hit the water. Then your knees as you start screaming until your throat is raw before sobbing. “Why??”  You cried softly trying to understand how one person could feel so much pain and still be alive. You were thinking that you wish you could just die. That there would never be someone who would understand this pain before feeling warmth wrap around you. Opening your eyes to the most beautiful woman standing before you. Well, she kinda stood before you, she was fuzzy, almost ghost-like. “Don't cry daughter of Lilith, let us take care of this.” As she spoke she tilted her head, the smile on her face taking over a savage edge. As she faded your anger grew, any other feeling gone, any thought besides revenge then death gone. 

Behind you, you heard your name being shouted. By him.. By the man who had betrayed you. The man you had been seeing, giving yourself too. Who you were supposed to marry tomorrow. You had found him out for a stroll with his son.. His son and his wife.. A son and a wife you clearly didn't know about. His face had dropped when his eyes connected with yours, both of your worlds freezing. Because the problem was, he truly did love you. He didn't come from a very wealthy family, so this marriage, he couldn't mess it up. His father would kill him, and probably you. He didnt know what he was going to do or tell you tomorrow. But now he didnt need too, but he had broken your heart in the worst way. He just wanted a moment to try to explain. 

Unfortunately for him, the moment your heart broke, someone powerful stepped in. She had been waiting for you, Lilith. She could feel the impending heart break from hell and knew she had to step in. She didnt feel connected to living women often so when she did, she paid attention. She had grasped and pulled forward the woman she wanted you to be. Allowed you to embrace your rage and take an inhuman amount of power, one you knew without words would kill you. You felt a weird calm, an almost buzzing hot but calm numbness spread across your skin as you stood. Your voice was low, but somehow Cassius heard it. “Get in the water.” 

You heard him stop , could somehow feel him just at the edge as the waves barley lapped the tips of his sandals. “Get in the water”  you repeated your voice deeper than he had ever heard, raspy from crying but carried something.. Something that gave him goosebumps. All the hairs on his hairs and neck standing on end, his guts screaming at him to run. He watched the fingers on your left  run slowly through the water, the setting sun sparklingly off your now useless engagement ring. He audibly gulped as you slowly turned to him, black veins around your eyes and spreading from your finger tips and throat. “Or Ill raise the tide so high..” You looked down at his feet as a slightly larger wave splashed his toes “All of Delos will die..” Looking him in the eyes he jumped, there was a slight glow to your eyes, almost gold mixed with red. He was terrified. 

“Get in the water.” 

Taking a panicked breath he feels water.. Hitting.. His calves? Looking down his panic increases “Wait..” His mind is speeding down any and every possible avenue but its coming up with nothing but fear. Fear so encompassing as he hears you tell him again, and he swears he sees you take a step forward. “Stop” he says in a desperate shout, the waves now up to his knees.  “Stop this.. Please.” he begs as you tilt your head and take another slow step toward him. He sounds so pathetic you think as you ball your hands into fists, his wife stumbling onto the sand as well, pulling their son behind her. She calls out to him, but Cassius cant look away from the woman in front of him. 

Are the veins glowing now? Is your hair? Is it moving, whipping back and forth wildly? You could feel the anger rising, it was an all encompassing avalanche of emotions. Seeing her made all that pain real again, pulled it past the surface, shoved you over your breaking point. A tiny, very small part of you felt bad for the child as you refocused on his father. Turning to look back at him, you have a small evil smirk on your face. Unclenching your hands and raising them slowly to inspect your palms you spoke again. “Ill make tidal waves so profound..” Cocking your head to the other side your eyes flick to the woman who screams Cassius again. The smirk spreads into a full grin “Both your wife and your son will drown.”  

“NO!” He screams anguish, panic, fear its all right there. Suddenly your in his face. The wind harshly blowing around both of you now, your hair flying this way and that in soft caresses across your cheeks and forehead. Your breathing the same air, his anguished puff of air as he tries to find the words, the feelings, the anything to give you to calm you down. To fix this. But he jumps when you next speak, the volume and the venom in your voice scare any half thoughts he had away. “GET IN THE WATER!” Now the waves, they arent small calm waves crashing gently on his legs. 

They are slamming into them, the water up to his hips,  now reaching his wife and sons feet as others gather and panic starts to ensue. People are screaming behind him, but no one will come any closer. The fear and uncertainty was pabable. The smile on your face kept growing, the glow in your eyes now bright and eerie. “GET IN THE WATER!!” You screamed again, taking a step back and turning before spinning back and grabbing his neck with both hands. You were tall for a woman, but Cassius was taller. It was one of things you always loved about him. In your rage  you pulled him to you by his throat. He has no idea how your so steady on your feet. He is rocking back and forth, his sandals being sucked into the sand by retreating water.

Squeezing as you started to pull him with you, stepping backwards. Keeping eye contact, it was controlling, you didnt know how you were doing it. But as you kept talking it was like you were compelling him. Letting go as you spun the two of you around and point out towards the open sea. You were so close your noses were touching, he could feel your lips brush against his as you whispered. “ Dont mistake my threats for bluff. You have lived more than enough..” Cassius knew he was dead, he could feel his body moving against his will. Somehow your whisper shook him to the bone, deeper than anything else had. 

He looked toward his son one last time, mouthed ‘i love you’ as his feet drug him deeper. Without ever looking at his wife, he turned his gaze back to you. He looked at you with such despair, but also understanding. He KNEW he hurt you, he KNEW that you were an outsider. You had come here from one of the tribes on the main land. He knew your gods and his were different. It had never bothered him, but now hes thinking he shouldve listened harder. Shouldve known better. Shouldve loved you correctly.  

Tears streaming down your cheeks, you could feel yourself dying. Whatever that woman had given you was fading. You were running out of time. You wanted to see him die. When he smiled sadly at you and mouthed that he loved you to a violent heat pulsed over you. You felt like you were on fire as you stormed in anger towards him, grabbing his throat again and shoving him down. “GET IN THE WATER!” You scream one last time, before following him with the pull of the waves into the ocean. 

The last thing you remember besides happiness and warmth, was seeing him sinking deeper into the darkness. 

Snapping your fingers you released everyone from your hold. Sir Pentious started to gag, his little egg buddies having passed out or thrown up. Everyone looks shocked, even Alastor is momentarily without his sinister grin. Not even a full breath later, Angel and Husk are badgering you with questions. How did you get the power? Where you a follower in life or was this chance? Is your ex here in hell? That doesnt tell us how powerful you are down here! Charlie at some point rewrapped herself around you and is crying for your broken heart. Your patting her head and smiling while answering all of the questions and showing off little tricks. 

Never noticing the tall dark demon behind you, still slightly stunned.. In what he thinks is.. Awe?

“Hm.. This wont due.”

[lillysdreaminnn]

Vows.

Pairing; Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader

Warnings; none, just tooth rotting fluff with the Hotchner boys :)

Summary; you and Aaron are getting married and it's time to say your vows.

A/n; reblogs and comments are always welcome 💗

It was yours and Aaron's wedding, the day you've been waiting for for such a long time.

Aaron was about to say his vows, when little footsteps ran next to him, standing proudly next to his daddy. You smiled a the little boy and subtly waved at jack, your heart beating out of your chest.

He started his vows, saying all the sweetest things you could think of, a wide smile on his face and a few tears rolling down his face.

"Uhm..." He paused, looking up to keep the happy tears at bay. The team was in the front row, smiling - and crying - as they had never seen Aaron so happy or emotional before.

"I love you unconditionally. You're the light at the end of the darkest tunnel, the spark of hope I had been waiting for. I promise to always protect you from all dangers in the world; ranging from a spider on the wall to an angry killer."

Aaron spoke gently, his voice wavering as he looked into your eyes, smiling at how beautiful you looked in your wedding dress.

"You look beautiful." He whispered at the end of his vows, as he passed the small leather notebook to the little boy next to him.

Before you could reply, jack stepped in front of his father, looking up at you.

"Y/n... You look very pretty today." Jack started, reading off the small notebook his dad passed him.

Your jaw dropped to the floor and you couldn't believe your ears; jack had his own vows for you?

"Thank you, honey." You whispered, smiling at the little boy in front of you - who wasn't so little anymore, as he was close to ten years old.

"I knew you were the one for dad when you told me your favourite superhero was Spiderman." That made you laugh, loving the memory. "And when you did that magic trick with the coin that I'll find out how you did."

You mouthed an 'ill tell you', winking at the little boy, making him giggle happily.

"Ever since dad found you he has been smiling a lot more and I'm happy he's happy. You're the best mom and I love you." Jack finished his vows to you.

You crouched to his level, not caring about the dress at the time, and opened your arms, letting the little man ran into them. You held jack tightly, trying your absolute best not to sob - makeup was expensive after all.

"I love you too, honey. So much. I'm glad I can make you and your dad happy; it's all I need in life." You said with a smile, kissing jack's cheek sweetly.

Being your turn to say your vows, you stood up straight and looked at Aaron with a wide smile.

"Aaron." You started, looking at the man in front of you, before looking at the boy next to him, "and Jack." You smirked, making jack smile widely. You spoke your vows, making Aaron positively cry out of pure happiness.

In the end, you crouched to jack's level once again, motioning for him to come to you - which he did without second thoughts.

"Jack, honey. Marrying you dad means that, in a way, I'm marrying you too. I promise, pinky promise even, to keep him safe and put of trouble. And I promise to keep you safe too. I promise to always bake you those cookies that you love and to always, always, get you every Spiderman figurine and dvd I find."

Jack laughed at your last vow to him, nodding happily. "I love you so much, jack, and I'm honoured to be your step mom." You finished your vows, planting a kiss on jack's head.

The wedding and the after-party was over and it was just you and Aaron in your hotel room.

Leaving for your honeymoon tomorrow meant you needed a lot of sleep to get her through the day.

So, you were both in bed, your head on Aaron's chest and his arm around your body as you both relaxed after the newlywed activities.

"Those vows to jack were very sweet, darling." Aaron mumbled, kissing your head gently, making you smile. "And his vows to me were sweet too." You giggled.

"What I said stands, though. I love you two with all my heart. I promise to protect you." You said while looking up at your husband.

And you kept that promise till the very end.