#Like yes Dipper's doing well but he knew better than to try and 'fix' the guy. You wanna date a demon then this is what you get

[tswwwit]

lmao imagine if familiar au them accidentally spark a weird craze for dating/marrying humans amongst demons?? like, bill pulled it off *too* well. suddenly every demon thinks human flings are the shit. having a human date at your side is the new fashion trend. people find themselves making deals not in exchange for their souls, but being a date to the next big fancy event. then everyone comes to their senses and it just becomes that one phase everyone simultaneously agrees never to speak of again. CRAZY

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Timestuck AU: The Power of Mabel ch.6

While fighting over a time machine so one twin can win a pig or the other can win the heart of a girl, Mabel is left stranded in a snowy forest with no time machine and no brother. Oops.

ch.5 - ch.7 (finale)

~~~~~~~~~~

The air was still quite nippy and crisp, but the afternoon sun sparkled on the white snow and made the atmosphere pleasant to stand in if the Main Sequence Star was shining directly on a living organism, like it was on Stan from where he stood on the porch. He sighed tiredly as he dug into his hoodie’s pocket for a fresh cigar and lit it with his Zippo-style lighter. He knew he probably shouldn’t smoke with a kid in the house, but after the few days he’s had, he needed and had well earned a smoke-break.

The door opened and Stan hid his cigar by his side, his right arm glued to his hip to hide the newcomer on his left, but when he saw it was an adult, he relaxed and took another puff. “M’trying to quit.” He mumbled.

Ford snickered. “Yeah, it looks like you’re trying really hard.”

“Don’t be shitty.” Stan said casually.

“Mind if I lend one? I can replenish you in a few minutes.”

Stan stared at his goody two-shoes of a twin and handed him a cigar and the lighter. “You smoke?”

“Not often. For a celebration or after a long day.” Ford answered as he lit his borrowed cigar. “Maybe twice a month. Thrice?”

“Huh.”

Ford looked down at the lighter in his hand, and he was surprised when he recognized it. He can clearly remember seeing the tiny silver box in a store and thinking Stanley would like it as a Only One More Year of High-School present. “I gave this to you.”

Stan smiled as he took it back and pocketed it. “Yeah, it’s a good lighter. Only needed to change the flint a few times.”

“Hey guys!” A small voice called from inside the house. “Do you like vanilla or chocolate?”

The twins looked at each other, smiled, and called back. “Both. Both is good!”

“Both it is!”

Stan chuckled and shook his head. “Knucklehead… I knew she had to be family just by looking at her!” He bragged proudly.

“I suppose I was too distracted by the fact that a cold girl was at my doorstep to recognize the family resemblance.” Ford reasoned, shrugging. “I wanted to make sure I did the right thing. I didn’t exactly feel like getting arrested for kidnapping.”

Stan barked a laugh. “Yeah, you got a good point.” The conman yawned and stretched his arms over his head. “Guess I’ll head out tomorrow.” He mentioned offhandedly.

Ford stared at him, a little saddened and disheartened by this fact that was news to him. “You’re leaving?”

“I mean, yeah?” Stan equally stared at his brother, confused and not daring to be hopeful, but still. “What?”

“I just…” Ford hesitated and busied his mouth by taking a hit of his cigar. With everything that has been said and how well he and Stan have been communicating, he really didn’t feel like ruining it now. He relaxed his shoulders and said with his eyes on the snowy woods. “I was really hoping you would stay.”

Stan looked dumbfounded, like a child discovering candy for the first time, but he looked away and down at the porch floor. “Oh.”

“I’ll of course be taking care of Mabel until Dipper comes back in time for her…”

“He might not.”

“We got over our grudges. They can do the same.” Ford said firmly. “Still, you have a point. Dipper might not be able to come back. Regardless, whether it’s for a short time, a long time, or for the rest of my life, I will take care of her. I might not be the best for her, I can acknowledge that…”

“C’mon, Sixer, don’t be like that.” Stan scolded lightly, giving a sympathetic look to the nerd. “What else can you do, y’know? There’s no way in hell you’re gonna give her up, I’ll kidnap her and run away to Canada before I let you…”

Ford laughed and waved a hand as he smiled. “No no, I promise I won’t.”

“Good.”

“The point is, she loves you. Clearly. And it takes two, and I’ll be busy with my research, especially once the snow melts and the anomalies become more active in the spring and summer, but…” Ford bit his lip. This was a bad idea. If he makes it seem that the only reason why Stan needs to be here is because of Mabel, if or when she’s gone, then Stan will have no reason to stay. And there were many reasons why Ford wanted Stan to stay.

Despite how much of a social-cripple Ford was, he knew that Stan was homeless. His frequent traveling and how full his car was right now was enough proof of that. And Ford hated that for his brother.

But there was another, bigger reason why Ford wanted Stan to stay. So he better just say it.

“Do you know why I went to Backupsmore?” Ford asked.

Stan’s facial expression darkened as he looked away and he shrugged. “Cuz I fucked up your project?”

“No,” Ford answered plainly. “I may not have been accepted into West Coast Tech, but there were so many other colleges that wanted me. I could apply to Yale or Harvard or any college from New York to California and instantly be accepted.

“But I didn’t.” The author added grimly. “Stanley, when you left… When you were gone, I was a mess. So many days I just lied in bed without meals or sleep. Ma was hysterical. I failed most of my exams and only barely scraped a C in the ones I didn’t fail. My GPA dropped significantly and I even lost my Honor Roll. Thankfully my past grades were enough to let me graduate with a 3.2, but my clean record was stained and a lot of prestigious colleges didn’t want me.

“All I wanted at that point was to get as far away from Glass Shard as possible. Luckily there was a small college outside of San Francisco that practically accepted everyone and had a wide range of studies to offer, so I applied and was accepted by graduation day.”

“Good for you.” Stan grunted.

“No! The point is, I…” Ford groaned, feeling like he was failing, but he had to try. “I understand if you don’t want to stay. I understand you have your own life and things you want to do, and I can live without you again if I have to, but… I really, really don’t want to. Yes, I know that part of growing up is going in different directions and being independent and all the other bells and whistles, but it doesn’t have to be. So, if you can tolerate living under the same roof as me again, and if you’re okay with it, I want to offer you a job.”

Stan raised an eyebrow at the six-fingered man. “What kinda job?”

“The committee gives me monthly boosts so I can continue my research. As long as I prove to them once a year that progress is being made, I have a good income coming in. It is a big job, exploring the large woods, climbing mountains and waterfalls, combing the lake, mapping the Enchanted Forest, and hunting down monsters and anomalies to learn more about them. I’ve always managed to make it out of trouble alright, but… I need a partner, and I want to keep it in the family.” Ford smiled at the last sentence.

“What are you saying?” Stan sneered, not daring to believe, not daring to hope, but that stupid smile Ford had…

“I’m saying I want you to do this with me, Stanley.” Ford said matter-of-factly. “I can share the grant with you after bills are paid and groceries are purchased. We can renovate the small room on the ground floor to be Mabel’s bedroom and you can have the entire attic as your own space.

“I know it’s not sailing around the world, but… Please. Will you give me another chance?” Ford pleaded with a soft smile.

Stan grinned and shook his head. “Shit, Sixer, you’re a better salesman than me.” He looked him in the eyes. “Okay. Yes. I’ll stay.”

Ford’s cheeks puffed with happiness as he smiled, his lips pressed together, and he looked ahead, happily daydreaming his future. Being surrounded by weirdness for a living was amazing by itself; doing it with his twin and raising their niece together on top of it was better than anything he could have imagined.

Stan was watching him and laughed good-naturedly, then held out a hand to him. Ford blinked at it like a startled owl, but then returned the smile and sealed the deal with a high-six.

Both brothers stood contently outside with their cigars for a minute, but then heard a bowl clatter on the floor. Mabel must be making a mess in the kitchen, which was fine.

What wasn’t fine was the sound that followed of a body falling on the floor.

Ford raised an eyebrow and called calmly, “Mabel, are you alright?”

They both expected a quick “yeah, sorry, I’m okay,” and maybe an explanation to follow, like she tripped getting down from a chair or something. But there was no reply.

“Mabel, sweetie?” Stan hollered, trying not to sound mad or scared or anything but cool-under-pressure, but this voice trembled with fear.

Still no answer.

Ford and Stan quickly discarded their cigars and bolted inside. Racing like children for cookies, they soon stood at the doorway of the kitchen and were horrified to find Mabel sprawled on the floor on her front, her hair scattered over her face to hide her expression, and her legs and bottom-half of her body slowly fading.

Literally. Fading. Mabel was fading away. She was disappearing like a stain on cloth.

“MABEL!” The men screamed and were immediately on their knees beside her. Ford scooped her up into his arms and felt her pulse and looked over her.

“What happened to her?!” Stan cried out. “Pumpkin, what’s wrong?!”

Ford’s eyes widened in panic as a horrifying realization slapped him in the face. “Mabel… You changed history.”

The tired girl nodded with her eyes closed. “If… If you guys had a fight… and never made up… in my timeline, then I guess…” Mabel paused to yawn tiredly. It didn’t hurt, but she was really sleepy now.“I guess that timeline doesn’t exist anymore, huh? I guess I don’t exist anymore.”

“WHAT?!” Stan yelled and took Mabel’s hand and squeezed it. “We have to do something! You’re family! You’re… We can’t just let you d- not exist!”

Ford held Mabel tighter and closer to his warm chest, making her smile. She swore she could hear his heartbeat. It was too fast. She would have to fix that. Poor Ford was also shaking like a leaf. Mabel could fix that, too.

“I’ll exist.” She smiled up at her uncles. “In a few years.”

Ford bit his lip. He shouldn’t ask this, it was probably dangerous to learn about the future, but the worst was already happening. What else could possibly happen that was worse than losing his girl? Ford couldn’t help but ask, “When?”

“August 31st, 1999.” Mabel’s eyes dazzled. “You’ll meet Dipper, too.” She shifted her eyes to only Stan and whispered, “Did you know you were there? You came to see us when we were born?”

Stan’s eyes watered as he smiled at the new piece of information. “I did?”

“You did. I came out first. You were so proud when I kicked the doctor in the jaw.”

Stan made a watery chuckle and wiped at his eye. “That’s my girl.”

“Dipper came next. He was blue. Umbilical cord wrapped around his neck.”

“Was he okay?” Stan asked.

“He was fine. You knew he would be. You never doubted.”

“I never will, pumpkin. I swear.”

The fading is now much worse. It was spreading over Mabel like a virus. Her legs were hardly visible to the naked eye, and even her shoulders were losing color. This Mabel is almost completely gone. 

Ford, pressed for time, bit his lip as tears flooded his eyes and he cupped Mabel’s cheek and cradled her. “I… I can’t let you go! We just started to become a real family! Wh-What am I going to do without you?!”

Mabel smiled and used the free hand not holding Stan’s trembling hand to caress Ford’s jaw and lower cheek, then cupping his face so her fingertips grazed his sideburn. “It’s okay, really. I’ll see you again, and next time it’ll be when both of you come to see us. Totally worth it.” 

Ford held his breath, and shut his eyes, a tear escaping from each eye and sitting comfortably in the corners of his windows to his soul. Stan hiccuped a laugh and rubbed her hand between both of his. Both of them were doing everything in their power not to cry. 

To that, Mabel laughed and said, “Boys are stupid. It’s okay to cry.”

The cursed power of Mabel. Making people be honest and breaking dams.

Ford curled into his niece, his face sloe to her heart, and cried gently. He wasn’t ready, but he didn’t think he could ever be ready for this.

Stan laughed with tears streaming down his face and he kissed Mabel’s tiny fingers trapped in his hold, then held their hands close to his bowed forehead and just focused on feeling her pulse between his palms.

It only lasted another minute.

Ford was mortified when his chest sank and his arms were empty. He threw himself back and stared at his lap and felt sick to his stomach to find his little girl missing.

Stan’s hands also clasped together and he squeezed tightly, his fists against his trembling lips as he cried.

The genius who always seemed to know what to do didn’t have a damn clue what to do with himself. He growled in his throat, squeezing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth, then let out a painful howl and moan that most definitely disturbed birds and made a deer or two gallop farther away.

Ford removed his glasses and held his knees, sobbing his heart out. Stan blinked his tears off his eyes, resulting in them rolling down his face, as he watched his brother completely shatter to pieces. He had seen him upset before, sure; all those years of bullying, of Pa’s outbursts and sometimes physical punishments, hopelessness that he was actually worth something. You don’t spend seventeen years with a person and not see them break every so often, granted the blessing to help them put themselves back together again.

But Ford didn’t need Stan to swoop in and fix it. There were no bullies to punch or parents to stand against or jokes to crack that would make this okay. All Stan could do was throw his arms around him and bury his face into Ford’s shoulder and cry, too. 

So that’s what they did on the kitchen floor for over an hour.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dipper blinked to try to see, but all he saw around him was inky blackness for miles. His heart raced as he looked around for his sister. “Mabel? Mabel! Mabel, answer me!”

The boy scrambled and collapsed out of a portable potty at the fair. He blinked his eyes rapidly to adjust to the sunlight, scurrying off his hands and knees, clutching the warm time-machine in his hands. Wendy was still admiring her price and Robbie was still sulking, and Waddles was still trying to get away from Pacifica.

That didn’t matter! Mabel was stranded back in time! But how far back?! When was Mabel?! Dipper started jamming the button, but the machine wasn’t working, and it was soon swiped from him by a black-gloved hand.

“Mason Pines,” A gruff voice commanded above him and Dipper looked up to find two new guys with that Blendin guy. The two other guys were muscular and guarded with high-tech armor. 

“You are under arrest for violating the Time-Traveler's Code of Conduct and for jeopardizing the timestream.” The man labeled as Dundgren stated as serious as death.

“Do you have any idea how many rules you just broke?!” Blendin squawked. “I’m asking. I wasn’t there with you. It was probably a lot, right?”

“Wait, wait please!” Dipper begged as the two members of the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadrent each grabbed the boy by an arm. “My sister! She’s still back there! We have to get her!”

“You have the right to remain silent.” The man labeled as Lolph informed robotically. “Anything you say can and already has been used in the Court of Time-Law.”

“Let me go, Mabel needs-...” And Dipper and the three time-travelers were blasted forward in time.

~~~~~~~~~~

In the endless space of time, Dipper was levitated off the ground by a giant baby using the power of his forehead-hourglass to trap him in a baby-blue field. Members of the the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadrent circled the two, and Blendin stood with his arms crossed over his chest and smiling smugly as the kid who caused so much trouble was getting what he deserved.

“You and your sister have broken the eternal laws of space-time.”

“I’m sorry!” Dipper cried out, trying to fight the energy circling him, but it was futile. “I’m sorry! Do what you want to me, just help my sister!”

“Your sister does not require help, nor do you require punishment.” Time Baby informed as he held his feet. “You are lucky the events that occurred do not change anything drastically. However, your timeline has shifted and therefore this reality’s version of you and your sister are no longer viable and will cease to exist.”

“What?!” Dipper squeaked and looked down at his body to find his legs disappearing. “No no NO! What’s happening to me?!”

“You and your twin sister will be born again on August 31st, 1999, but too many things are different in your timeline for this version of you to continue to exist.”

“W-W-What did I do wrong?! What did I change?!” Dipper cried out as his whole body was drained of color. “What changed in our timeline?!”

“Your uncles have amended their bond thirty-four years ahead of schedule. As unfortunate as this is, your sister miraculously delayed the plans of Bill Cipher by an entire millennia.”

“What uncles?!” Dipper asked, panicked as the fading reached his neck. “Who’s Bill Cipher?!”

“If you wanted the answers you sought out, you should have been patient.” Time Baby scolded. “We all get the answers we seek… in time.”

“P-P-Please!” Dipper begged as he appeared as a ghost. “Please! What did Mabel do?!”

Time Baby cruelly stayed silent, testing Dipper’s strengths, but he was dying, anyways. Might as well.

“She met the Author of the Journals. Your missing uncle.”

Dipper’s eyes widened. “Mabel…” He rasped, and then he ceased to exist.

[zoellajulien]

come upon morning

(Peter Parker x Reader)

angst - words: 2.1k

OPEN ENDING BELOW

"Alright! Enough from you!" Your friend laughed loudly as he smacked your other friend in the back of the head, turning to face you. "It's your turn. Give us all the details!"

You shifted awkwardly, laughing and rubbing your arms for comfort. The conversation happening between your group was on the subject of 'the ones who got away', which you all had experience in. "Fine, fine. Just be quiet and sit down!"

A hush fell over the room as you opened a book and pulled some photos out of the page. Curiosity spread as the photos were passed around for everyone to look at.

"Why do you keep these on that page?" One friend asked, looking over your shoulder at the highlighted text.

"I keep them close to a quote on it. It says 'you'll always be mine, in the back of my mind. I'll look for you in my next life.' I found this quote when I was in a dark place, and it reminded me of him. Because that's how I'll always feel." You explained to them, passing another picture around.

In the photo, the boy had a straw taped badly to his head with a ridiculous smile spread across his face. His nose was wrinkled too, adding to the joyous atmosphere the picture captured. His brown curls were splattered across his head and face in a mess, along with a hastily put-in butterfly clip. You felt warmth blooming inside you while looking at it. Your friends laughed at the picture, pointing out various (but positive) things about him to one another.

"What are you doing? You look ridiculous!"

"I'm a unicorn! You should be a unicorn too!"

"Wait until Tony sees this. No- I am not sticking a straw to my forehead like a crackhead!"

"Psh, you don't know what you're missing, then!"

"That boy was my whole world. We were best friends before we lovers, but we always did everything together. One time, we both failed an exam on accident, and celebrated! We drove around for hours just because." You reminisced.

"Dude, one kid sitting next to me was all 'I got this in the bag! Studied all night long!'" Peter chuckled, pushing his curls from his face with the hand that held yours. He pushed his lips against your knuckles softly.

"Are you serious? Dude, if you can't even pass the exam, then everyone else definitely failed. Their ego was 100% bruised afterward, I'm sure of it." You snickered, blushing as your eyes cast over his form. His skin glowed from the kiss of sunset colors. "Hey! Careful! You almost hit that bird! Ugh, your driving is the worst!"

Peter's laugh brought a smile to your lips as you teased him, knowing full-well you drove much worse than he did. Poking his side with your finger to tease him more, he squirmed away and began to make faces.

"Oi! I'm trying to keep us alive! Stop that!" He snickered.*

"I hope you know that we are absolutely not listening to this song! My turn to control the cord!" You cheered, snatching his phone away.

"What? No! I'm the driver, I control the music!"

"In your dreams, Parker! And don't take your eyes off the freaking road, you health-hazard of a human being!"

"Oh, please! I drive better than you do! And either way, you know you love me!"

"That, yes, that is very true. I can not deny that." You giggled with a happy sigh.

"What else did you guys do?"

"So much! We went on great adventures and vacations together but also enjoyed simple moments. One day, I was frustrated with everything so I started crying on the kitchen floor when the empty pot slipped from my hand." You laughed at yourself, shaking your head. "He came in with a sympathetic heart and dumped a bunch of pots on the floor. At first, I got even angrier. Because, hello, that was a huge mess! But then he started constructing them together on a mat and grabbed two dowels for the both of us."

Peter cursed when he saw your form, panicking slightly as he tried to come up with a solution to fix the sad mood you owned. The poor brunette had come in, more than ready to defend you from an attacker, after being alerted to the crashing sound of a pan hitting the tiled flooring. Trying to think quickly on his feet, he leaned past you to pick up said fallen pot along with a large group of others.

"What are you doing? I swear to god I will smash your face into the cabinet if you think I'm going to clean this up."

Peter wordlessly grabbed your hand and placed the dowel in your hand, kissing each finger as he twisted them into a fist. He reached up and brushed a piece of hair away from your face, smiling sweetly at your confused face.

"What do I need this for?" You questioned, still slightly irritated.

"What? What was he doing, exactly?"

"We actually started playing them together, on the floor. He cheered me up in less than an hour. I went from crying in frustration to crying from laughter." A blush crept its way up your body as a love-sick smile made its appearance.

Crawling on the floor, Peter gently pulled you by your empty hand next to him. A whine of protest escaped your lungs, but you eventually gave in and looked at the pots in front of you. He reached around you, his arms controlling yours. He began beating the wooden sticks against the metal and copper pots.

"I love you! I love you! My darling!" He sang out dramatically, badly playing out an improvised tune, hiding his smile when he noticed you were forcing one to hide. "My darling! She's oh-so-beautiful!"

Laughter bubbled within your chest and escaped into the air around the two of you. A smirk made its made to your boyfriend's lips at the achievement of making you happy. He pressed a kiss to your cheek before continuing his actions.

Eventually, he moved and sat beside you, using his wooden stick to bang on the pans. He laughed after you made a pun referring to the pots, shaking his head in amusement.

"Come one, sing a duet with me."

"Nooo."

Peter began singing loudly but slow enough for you to try and match his lyrics. You were pretty sure the two of you were bothering the neighbors at this point.

A bubble of snickers filled the room after someone mentioned just how in love you seemed to be even after he left.

"You see, this big teddy bear of a human being loved to travel, so one day he showed up outside my job and picked me up. We ended up driving for a long time until we had a picnic underneath the stars. I taught him a bunch of the constellations."

"Peter! C'mon, tell me where we're going! You're boring me!" You joke, shoulders shaking in laughter when you do.

"No! You can't know yet! It's called a surprise, babe!" He protests, taking one hand off the wheel and easing his foot off the accelerator. Using the empty hand he has, he pokes your side once safely stopped at a red light.

"Ugh. You're a pain. I hope you know that." You paused for a few minutes before saying: "Are we there yet?"

"We are literally still driving! Relax!"

The drive continued for another hour or so before you pulled up onto a hill that sat beside a glistening lake. By that time, it was well past midnight. You would have fallen asleep if Peter's energetic and proding, literally, personality. He sang loudly to you and was constantly poking you in the ribs, although gently.

"We've arrived! I hope you're hungry!"

After the picnic, you rested by his side, enjoying the comforting kisses he left across your face. "I love you, but I'd appreciate it if you would pay attention to my lesson!" You whined*

"Alright, Teach. What do you have for me to learn? Not math, I hope." He replied in turn with a broad smirk.

With a sharp eye-roll, you sat up, taking his finger, and pointing it at the sky. "Big dipper." You drug it over to a separate spot. "Little dipper."

"I like this lesson. Teach me more."

"He sounded amazing. What happened to you two?"

"The part of him yearning for adventure became too difficult to ignore, and he knew he needed to go. Of course, he offered for me to come with him, but my parents refused. They told me how my focus was to be on where I was going in the future, so their force kept us apart." You set down the Polaroid picture to pick up another one, this one of a car. The brunette sat on top of it, clearly singing and dancing. "The night he left was a hard one for us all. His aunt and mentor came over so we could all wish him goodbye. I was angry at my parents, but they were right. My future was very uncertain with him, especially since he didn't know where he would be going."

A stray tear made it's down your cheek, dropping onto the hoodie of his you wore. Your friend wrapped an arm over your shoulder.

"Eventually, after he packed his car for the journey and his weeping aunt gave him one last hug, I was called over. I opened the door to be closer to him and sat, looking at him. His cheeks were damp with tears, as were mine, but we smiled. He put his hand into mine and kissed me, so softly, as if I were glass."

"You look beautiful today, you know. Is that dress new?" Peter's fingers danced up your arm to cup your cheek.

"I bought it just for you, for today. I wanted you to see me looking my best, so you can remember me this way when you go."

"I still don't know if I want to go." He admitted, ducking his head before looking back into your eyes.

"You have to. You need to go because your heart is calling." You whispered, reluctant to admit the truth as much as he was. "And you don't have to be scared, because I will always be with you along this journey." You placed your hand on his heart.

"He pleaded for me to go that night, to go with him. I told him I couldn't, that it wasn't an option."

You set down the picture while standing, grabbing one from underneath a flipped-over picture frame. One of your friends picked up the frame and felt anguish at seeing the picture inside the glass.

The same boy the conversation was about sat somewhere, clearly in a place with bright lights. He wore a white, short-sleeve top that ended with the picture. His eyes were blood-shot, curls messy as can be, but a smile sat across his lips, despite being clearly in pain.

"This noise is going to be the death of me, I swear."

"Kid, you've got a lot more fighting to kill you right now than the lights. At least try to act concerned for yourself." Tony's voice strained, dry from tears. "They are probably the smallest problem you have as of now."

"Don't say stuff like that. Please." Your voice croaked, all the tears you had now gone from crying them away. "It can't be like that. No."

"That picture was taken a few months before he left. This one is a copy of the photo he took with him." You explained, showing it around. "I loved him so much, you know, and he loved me too. I could tell since he had some much trouble leaving us. But I knew he had to go."

In the last photo sat you both, side-by-side, asleep. One of his arms draped over your side while he spooned you from behind with his face buried into the skin of your neck. You had hair flopped over one eye and one hand tucked into his dangling by your front. The two of you had corresponding colors on your nails, a bright red. It had been his idea after a tired sleep-over reached well past two in the morning. It was a fond memory of yours.

Your friend pulled you tight to his chest, noticing the balance you were struggling to keep between sobbing or staying straight-faced. Eventually, the tears came out, but a smile stayed on your lips as you remembered Peter.

You remembered his laughter that was always accompanied by his contagious smile or smirk. Also on the list, you remembered his ability to sweet-talk you into sneaking out to see him on nights he wasn't 100% busy. However, you also remembered how he left you, leaving a longing feeling that turned into unheard wishes.

You just wish his departure had actually happened like that.

taglist: @rorybutnotgilmore @petersasteria @elios-timotea

[ifbrd]

[

An idiot: Mabel is the worst!

Another idiot: No, Dipper is the worst!

A wise intellectual: FUCK FILBRICK PINES.

]

Oh man are you trying to start a rant in me? Firstly, yes absolutely. I mean look, at the end of the day, Bill is the worst. But he’s a literal demon, we expect him to be the worst. Filbrick Pines was a terrible father who fucked up both Stan and Ford, and probably Shermie as well. And Filbrick fucking up his kids is part of the reason Dipper and Mabel had their fight that lead to Bill taking advantage of Mabel to start Weirdmageddon. Mabel was scared and there’s a lot of reasons she was, but part of it was because she heard the story of how her uncles used to be close and then grew apart and now hardly talk, and she made that connection between that and what was being proposed to happened to her and Dipper. The biggest reason Stan and Ford drifted apart, and thus inadvertently put the idea in Mabel’s head that the same would happen with her and Dipper, was because Filbrick was shit who made Stan feel like nothing, made Ford feel like his intellect was all that gave him worth, and chose to throw Stan out instead of trying to solve the conflict or, if he was really not wanting any part of the argument, encouraging the young men to sort it out themselves. Filbrick devalued his kids and only gave a shit about them when they showed evidence that they could benefit him. Furthermore, anyone who says Dipper or Mabel is the worst are failing to account for their age. Neither of these twins are the worst, 12-13 year olds are the worst. Have you ever met a preteen/teen? They’re little nightmares. Just think about how you were at that age, and how all your crappy classmates were at that age? Do you wanna go back to middle school and talk to those versions of those people? No you don’t. And what pisses me off most about Mabel specifically being called ��the worst” is that she is hated for the same reasons Stan is loved and cherished. Mabel’s a brat for the same reasons Stan is an innocent baby. Clearly Ford asking Dipper to be his apprentice was supposed to parallel Ford going to college, but I don’t ever see people go off about how much Stan fucked up with the science fair incident. How much work does it take to tell Ford, “hey I might have broke your project, you might wanna go fix it?” How many in the fandom felt about the situation was clear: they expected Mabel, at age 12/13, to handle the same situation better than Stan did at age 17/18. Got it. That makes sense. 🤦‍♀️ And no one bother coming to me saying “actually Dipper and/or Mabel do suck because….” Okay? I will not listen to anyone who thinks 12 year olds should act more mature than they are. Y’all wanna criticize Ford? Hey as long as there is no victim blaming in regards to him and Bill I’m down. You wanna criticize Stan? Let’s fucking go! Stan gets treated like a precious prince by the fandom despite the fact that he’s just as “guilty” as the rest of his family. Perhaps even more so. Every other family member didn’t know what they were doing. Ford and Mabel fell for Bill’s tricks because he was manipulating them, and Dipper didn’t tell Mabel about the rift because an adult he trusted told him not to. Stan on the other hand read plenty of warnings about the dangers of the portal. Stan knew the portal could destroy the world and still kept it going to save Ford, even though that’s not what Ford would have wanted. And we can say that Stan was just putting his family first but that isn’t even true. Stan was putting himself first. Stan wanted his better half back, Stan wanted his only friend back. Because if Stan had been doing this for his family, he wouldn’t have been working on the portal. If the portal could destroy the world then it could destroy the rest of his family, it could have killed Dipper and Mabel. And even as he was forming a bond with them he still kept going with this machine that had the potential to hurt or kill them. And all for someone who would have rather had kept the portal off to keep everyone safe. Anyway….there’s my rant…long overdue and I could probably keep going if I was egged on lol.

[yes-another-obey-me-blog]

I feel like any of the demon boys would be very dangerous if they got possessive jealousy but like yandere them getting possessive jealous would be on a whole level worse. What do you think? Hc? Scenarios?

Hehehehhehehehehehe I've been waiting for a Yandere ask!  Thank you so much anon!!

Also, these are getting long so imma post them in parts.  

here is Lucifer's and Mammon's 

Yandere Bros get possessive/Jealous

GN Mc

TW: Yandere content, violence

  Lucifer.

He rarely gets jealous, demons tend to stay away from what he claims as his.  But when he gets jealous, he makes it known.  His demon form is out, wings on full display as he approaches with calm, collected steps.  His face screams murder with eyes narrow and sharp, the aura around him is pitch black as he places his arm around your shoulder.

"I suggest you start explaining why you bothering my dearest."

His voice is a deep rumbling growl.  The demon in front of you starts to back away in fear.  Who wouldn't?  Everyone knows what he does to Mammon, and that's Lucifer being gentle. 

"I-I-I didn't know they were-"  Lucifer's eyes get sharper as his wings puff up more.  He reaches for the demon's neck, yanking them off the ground, their feet kick as they panic.

"Didn't know what?  That they're mine?"  The other demon gulps, panic, and regret in their eyes.  They look at you begging you to help them.  Please, call him off their eyes scream.  Lucifers growls deepen.  "Did I say you could LOOK at them!"  His grip crushes the demons windpipe, if they were human they would have been killed. 

"I'm going to pluck your eyes out then, rip out your tongue and teeth one by one, and if you think I'm stopping there then you-"

"Lucifer, my dear friend what seems to be the problem here."  The boisterous voice of Diavolo cuts through the hall.  Lucifer carelessly drops the demon.  You flinch as they gasp for air, taking in deep gulps.  Diavolo surveys the scene with his big flashy grin and nods.

"I see, someone tired to take your darling." Diavolo tuts looking down at the perpetrator with a sadistic grin.  He then looks back at you his grin gets impossibly bigger, with a whimper you bury your face in Lucifer's chest.  His arms wrap around you instantly, pulling you even closer he hums in approval as you shakily hold on to him.

Diavolo smiles at the lover's embrace reminded of his own darling.  With a dreamy sigh, he picks the demon up by the back of their shirt and drags them behind him.  He stops and pats Lucifer on the shoulder and whispers. 

"Bring your beloved with you tomorrow for tea, my love has been asking about their dear friend and refuses to settle down about it."  He sighs thinking about his love.  "and while they talk we can enjoy some special entertainment."  He gives the passed out demon a shake.  "What do you say to that?"  Lucifer's grin matches Diavolov's.

  Simply put Lucifer is the kind of yandere who is cruel and sadistic to others but not his darling.  He wants them to love him and trust him.  Make them think he's the only one they can turn to when they're in danger.

He will gaslight his darling until they only trust him, they'll seek him out for help, whether it be classes, or other demons bothering them it doesn't matter.

He'll also treat them as a child.  Your classes are too hard?  Well of course they are there for wise demons, not simple humans like yourself.  Feeling stressed and overwhelmed from everything?  Here sit on his lap and he'll hold you for a bit, don't worry about your tasks or his brothers.  You obviously can't handle them, they're too much for a little human-like yourself.

If you think Diavolo is going to save you your wrong, he's quite happy Lucifer's found a darling of his own and is more than happy to withdraw you from RAD and let Lucifer, have you.  Sure, you can still go to RAD but Diavolo just has you sit in his office with his own darling.  Barbados babysitting you both as Diavolo is a busy demon lord and all.

Lucifer doesn't really want you to befriend anyone else but, Diavolo is persistent that his darling and Lucifer's become friends.

His overall goal is to have you dependent on him that way you walk into his cage willingly. 

Mammon.  

He doesn't get jealous, he loves the attention you bring him, one could say he's greedy for it.  However, its a look but don't touch kind of thing he made that clear at one of his modeling gigs 

"Hey, smile treasure, we got others watchin ."  He mumbled in your ear giving it a kiss.  "I want everyone to see how nice and shiny my treasure is."  You grumbled as he dragged you around the party, laughing and talking with other demons.  They all stared at you with smokey eyes, gestured at you with manicured claws, and smiled with perfectly shaded lips. 

Mammon sat down on a sofa and pulled you down on top of him while he grinned down at you, you sighed and nestled into him.  he'd throw a tantrum if you didn't play the part of loving darling.

All the other demons cooed and fawned over you asking you to look their way causing Mammon to laugh. "My treasure is just shy, aren't ya?"  You nodded, face still buried in his neck, he laughed once more and talked with the other demons until he suddenly sighed.

"Hey treasure, I need to get up, some magazine editor wants ta talk to me."  He easily maneuvered you off his lap and got up, giving you a quick kiss.  "Don't miss me too much treasure~" Mammon then disappeared into the crowd.

"Well aren't you a beautiful diamond."  One of the she-devils said sitting down next to you crossing her long legs shamelessly looking you up and down.

You grumbled in discomfort and moved away from her looking around for Mammon.  If you had to deal with a demon you would rather deal with the one you knew.  "Awww come now darling don't be like that," She placed her hand on your face forcing you to look at her.  "I just want to get a nice long look at you."

"Let go."  You slapped her had away, where was Mammon?  You wanted to go home you're tired and had you still had homework to do.  "Mamm-"  The she-devil grabbed your face and yanked you her way, her perfect black claws digging into your face.  The other demons around you falling silent.

"I'll have you know pet I don't take kindly to being denied."  She hissed digging her claws into your cheeks.  "When I want something I get it!" Her claws cut into your face, blood running down your face and covering her hand.  "Awww now see what you made me do?  I ruined that adorable little face."

"Ruth, let the human go."  Another demon said a look of terror on his face.  You recognized him, Mammon works with him often what's his name again? Ifrit or something?  Ruth rolled her beautiful smokey eyes.

"If you want a pet, go find your own Ifrit this one is-"

"Mine."  Mammon's voice boomed, ripping Ruth's hand off you.  She looked up in horror and Mammon met her with a snarl.  "Did ya really think ya could touch the Great Mammon's treasure?"  Mammon griped her wrist until it snapped, Ruth screamed grabbing at him trying to force him to let go.  

"I didn't know they were your's Mammon!  I sware I didn't know!"  Mammon rolled his eyes at the pathetic display, of course, only when he was angry would demons remember he was the second born of his brothers.  None the less, he let the she-devil go, watching her tumble to the ground in pain.

"Ya lucky I'm in front of my treasure, I don't want them to fear me as you all should."  He said fixing his sleave.

"Mammon,"  you whimpered grabbing your cheek, Ruth's claws dug in dipper than you thought.  The blood just kept coming.

"Yes, tres-"  His eyes went wide as he saw the blood seep through your hands.  "Treasure!  What happened to ya?!" He ran to you gently taking your hand off your face.  "Here, here let me see, its ok treasure I need to see how deep the cuts are.  There, there that's a good treasure."  He sighed in relief, the cuts weren't that bad but they must have stung like hell.  He placed kisses all over your bloody cheeks. "There all better right?"  Mammon pulled back smiling, your blood dusted his lips.  

"Ifrit, do me a favor, take my treasure outside."  Mammon glared at Ruth.  "I've got something to take care of.  If ya do well, I'll put in a good word with Diavolo and see to it ya get a darlin of your own."  Ifrit nodded and carefully dragged you out, the screams of Ruth ringing out behind you.  

When Mammon returned he was in demon form, the only thing off about him was the blood caked in his hair.  He smiled and hugged you dismissing Ifrit with a wave of his hand.  "Its all right treasure, she won't hurt ya ever again."  He smirked.  "and trust me, after what I did to her no demon will ever touch ya again."  He pressed a kiss to your lips, you could taste the blood on them, the funny thing was that you couldn't tell if the blood you tasted was yours or Ruth's.

Hcs.

Mammon is truly one of the sweetest yanderes you can get in Devildom.  Between Constant kisses and gifts, you'll be well cared for.  not to mention he's also slow to anger.  Normally.

He likes the attention you bring him, he'll buy you anything you ask for if it means you'll be with him.  

He won't isolate you but he will keep you on a tight leash, his arms are around you every time you head out. Kisses are given whenever some demon gazes at you too long.

You're dragged to all the parties held by other demons in the modeling business.  These parties are mainly to show off darlings, Asmo even accompanies Mammon to some of these events.

Mammon needs to feel needed by his darling that's why he spends so much money on them.  If they need him they can't leave him.

I wouldn't push him though, one escape attempt and you'll be sitting pretty on his hoard for years to come.

[goldenchan-fx2thepeacock]

Don’t Go Running Off Into Danger, Even If I Do pt 2

So, I have no clue what a publishing schedule is. So here, have more of this dumb fic at 11 pm. FUCK SLEEP! SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!

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Chapter 2

Danny and Jazz managed to finish just in time to put everything away before their parents got home. He’d actually managed to have a ghost free night. But the peace wasn’t going to last. And this wasn’t about ghosts. He got slammed into his locker.  “Hey look, it’s Fenturd. What’s with the dumb picture of Phantom? You’ll never be on his level,” Dash said and laughter broke out. Danny groaned. At least they didn’t know he was trans. He’d be beaten twice as much if they knew. The locker door closed and locked.  “Seriously Dash? I have to get to class!” He yelled through the metal.  “Whatever Fentina. No one cares! Oh hey, it’s fresh meat!” Dash went away from Danny’s locker. Danny had found out a way to make it so he could open his locker from the inside without it being outerwardly compromised. He jumped out. It was those kids from last night.  “Leave them alone Dash. They haven’t even been here for a day yet. The rules are that newbies get a probation period,” Danny crossed his arms.  “I don’t know Fentoenail. Would you like to take their beating?” Dash mocked him. Danny sighed. He’d have to do this.  “Any day,” 

Danny regretted everything. Dash had hit him twice as hard as normal and his locker trick wasn’t working. Everything hurt. He was going to miss Lancer’s class. At least his ghost sense wasn’t going off or something. Lancer wouldn’t miss him. Suddenly, his locker opened and he tumbled out. He yelped. “Are you okay?” The girl twin said.  “No worse than what I’m used to,” Danny brushed himself off.  “You didn’t have to do that,” The boy twin told Danny. “Yeah, I kinda did. The probation period is sacred. Dash knows that,” “Probation period?” The boy said. “A rule we made up last year. If Dash really wants to break it, I take the beating instead. Fenton gets to take the beating so the new kids don’t have to,”  “That’s not fair. You should report him,” “Nah, he threw like four perfect throws last night and is exempt from punishment,”  “Football?” The boy gave Danny a knowing look.  “Danielle- I mean Daniel Fenton to the main office,” The loud speaker said. “Oh come on! At least it was probably just a misread,” Danny was fuming. The beating plus being deadnamed was getting on his nerves. “We have to head there too,” The girl said. Danny shrugged and let them follow him.

Lancer called them all in at once. “Sup Lancer. Can I help you?” Danny leaned against the wall. “Mr Fenton. You and I both know that you need to show me more respect. W-what happened to you?” Lancer looked up from his papers. “Just a certain football star. Nothing I can’t handle. He broke the probation period,” “That’s a rule between students. I have no need to enforce it,” Lancer sighed. “I have no clue why you of all people were chosen for this, but you are too be Mr and Ms Pines guide around the school,” “Jazz not good enough for you? Had to pick the ‘slacker’ Fenton?” “Daniel, mind your tone. Jazz is our top student,”  “We all know I’m destined to fail in life. Can I get their timetables?” “Yes of course. Listen Danny, both you and I know you’re capable of better grades. I don’t understand why you don’t try,” Danny wasn’t in the mood for Lancer’s pep talks.  “I’ve got more important things to worry about,” Danny grabbed the papers and stalked off with the Pines Twins on his heels.  “Why didn’t he do anything about Dash?” the boy asked. “He has no reason to. Not like I’m about to ask,” Danny handed them their timetables. He’d seen that the girl was named Mabel and the boy Mason. “We’ll start with your classes Mason,”  “I prefer Dipper,” “I’m not calling you by a dumb nickname. Let’s go,” Danny growled.

Just as he was about to lead Mason to his first class, a royal pain in his ass showed up. “Daniel! I require your assistance, little badger,” “It’s bound to be another plan to get in my mom’s pants. Go away,”  “Now, don’t be like that. I’m the mayor after all. You should be honored,” “Plasmius, shut your goddamn mouth. I. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck,” Danny said so that only Vlad could hear.  “Well, something’s got you in a tizzy. I’ll ask later. I should tell you though, it’s about Danielle,” “What did you do to Dani?” Fury. Wait, he had to get the kids to class.  “Nothing. It wasn’t me. You should ask your ghost hunter girlfriend,” Vlad grinned. Fucking Valerie.  “Come on kids. You’ve got to get to class,” Danny ignored Plasmius. Valerie was going to die. 

At lunch, he purposefully turned into Phantom and waited for Valerie on top of the school. She took no time at all. “What. Did. You. Do. To. Dani,” He glared at her.  “I didn’t do anything to her! You’re going down ghost!” “Am I really?” Danny was pissed. She wasn’t getting any mercy today. He teleported behind her.  “What the... HOW?” “Where is she?!” He growled. “What do you care? She’s always off on her own,”  “Does it look like I care Valerie?!”  “How did you know?!” “I know more than you seem to think. Tell me where Dani is. NOW!” He froze her feet. She looked terrified.  “What’s wrong with you!? Why do you care so much about her? Ghosts don’t have feelings,” Danny lost it at that point. The laughter was dark. Hollow. Horrible. Val’s terror was visible.  “Don’t have feelings? DON’T HAVE FEELINGS? FUCK YOU! I’M SO TIRED OF ALL THIS!” “Phantom, calm down,” Val was terrified. Danny wasn’t done. The rings were threatening to come down and expose him to her.  “So you admit this is real? Would you like to know how it feels to die Val? How it feels to live on the line between life and death? Wait, I can’t do that! You don’t have a deactivated portal in your basement that I can make you turn on while your inside. I don’t have a stupid jumpsuit with your dad’s face on it so I can take off the that sticker. You don’t have parents that threaten to rip you apart molecule by molecule for just exsisting! You don’t have to see a future where you become evil because you cheated on one test and your family all died! Can you even begin to comprehend what I go through? Ever been cloned? And forced to do something incredibly painful so that one clone can get fixed and watch another get lied too? And that’s just the brunt of it Valerie. Keep telling me how I don’t feel. How I’m nothing!” Danny screamed at ice engulfed their feet. Val’s eyes went wide.  “D-Danny?” She said quietly. “Congratulations! You aren’t as niave as the rest of Amity Park! How does it feel?” He’d snapped. “Calm down! I’ll tell you where Dani is!” She shrieked. That hollow laugh came back. But instead of an angry rant afterwards, he just sunk to his knees and screamed. It wasn’t a wail. It was a scream of pain. Of being done with the world.  “I can’t do this anymore,” He sobbed and the rings went down. All that was left now was a beaten, broken Danny Fenton.  “You should change back. I’ll take you to Dani,” Danny nodded and followed her.  “Sorry I broke down. I’m just sick of people telling me that I can’t feel. That all ghosts can’t feel. You don’t even bother talking to us, ya know?” “Ghosts lie,” “And so do people! I’ve talked to the ghosts. Listened to them. Heard their stories. I protect people, but I protect them too!” “How do you know those aren’t just acts?” “Cause they make sense. I’d have the same response if it was me. If my parents burned down the place I was in because I got caught being gay,” “I’m confused,” “Ember. I told her I wouldn’t tell anyone. But you need to know that they all have reasons for being the way they are. Skulker’s family was hunted, so now he hunts to prove his strength,” “Maybe we should talk to you more,”  “Maybe you should. No one asks to die,” “But your parents say that ghosts don’t remember their lives. They’re the leading experts,”  “That’s like putting a ten year old in a room of babies. They’re the expert by default in that situation, but an adult would be the expert the moment they walked in,” “Why don’t we know about that,” “Dying is traumatizing. Even half dying is traumatizing. It’s taboo to mention it unless you’re told. No one explains it until they’re ready. And talking about a life before that is almost wrong,” “How did you learn?” “Skulker told me during the Christmas Truce. Ember told me one day when she just wanted to be left alone, but I did too. I guess things end up working out in weird ways,” “The Christmas Truce?” “On Christmas Eve and Christmas, ghosts have a truce. No one is allowed to fight anyone that day. The Ghost Writer broke the truce and Walker got to haul him off in just means,” “We really know nothing about ghosts, do we?” “No, you don’t. They even have a party. I got invited last year. Skulker let me make the star! It took me weeks to get it right,” Danny smiled at the memory. He’d made a scale model of a blue giant that went through it’s life stages.  “So there’s a whole society?” “A government. Systems. Main rules. Taboos. Just cause we’re ghosts, doesn’t mean we don’t have a system,” “I’m sorry,” “What?” Danny nearly froze. “I’m sorry that I made so many assumptions. I never should’ve chased you or any ghost like that,” “Keep them out of Amity Park and send them back to the Zone. Most ghosts forget that living is dangerous, so they just rampage. I keep trying to talk sense into them, but they’re pretty stubborn,”  “What about the dog?” “Dog? You mean Cujo? I was trying to stop him from trashing Axiom. He was trying to get a toy. I’m sorry that recked your life Val,” “My life? Wrecked? When compared to you, my life is a dream. It’s not like I died,” “I guess you’ve got a point,”

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Thanks for reading. I just like fics where Val finds out, and this one seemed like an okay place to stick it. Dani is fine. I’ll fill you in on that next chapter, but I should get some sleep.

[savetheearthbros]

"why did you lie to me?" fiddlestan

this is a lot longer and a lot more angsty then i meant it to be but enjoy!!

Tw:

Blood, scars, abuse mention

It had been three months since Stan had arrived in Gravity Falls. Three months since he pushed Ford into the portal in the basement. Three months without being able to sleep. Two months since he started giving tours of Ford's house.  Three more months for self hatred to add to the ten years he had under his belt. 

    He spent all of his free time out in the town looking for the other two journals. In the forest, near the lake, he even got yelled at by the police for lurking around the elementary school. He’d looked all around the town and came home empty handed every single time. 

    The snow on the ground was finally melting as he was looking for spare parts in the junkyard. He pulled scraps of metal off one another looking for anything that could possibly help with the portal. 

    He opened the hood of one of the many cars that scattered the junkyard only to find a gnome starring him in the face. The gnome hissed at him before scampering off. Stan just rolled his eyes and continued looking for parts from the car. 

    “Stanford?” he heard a voice behind him say nervously. He turned around quickly putting on the persona he used for tours.

    “Yes?” he said, trying to put more confidence behind his words then he had. He turned to see a tall thin man who looked like he had been through hell and hadn’t slept for a week afterwards. His hair was a mess, he had bruises scattering his arms, and a glazed over look in his eyes. “Can I help you?” he asked the stranger who only chuckled in response. 

    “So that’s how it’s going to be. Just gonna pretend you don’t know exactly why I’m here.” The man threw his hands up in the air in defeat. “I don’t know how to deal with you anymore, Ford.”

    “Look man, I honestly don’t know what you want from me.” The man pushed him back a lot harder than Stan thought someone of his size could manage. Stan fell against the car behind him. 

    “You’re an asshole, you know that! You spend months working on that portal refusing to let anyone near the house and then all of sudden I leave and you open the place up?” He knew about the portal? “You ruined my life and that’s when I decided enough was enough? Not when I stayed up for three nights straight writing up the work we’ve done in gravity falls? Not when I begged you to shut down the portal?” The man was crying now, clinging onto the front of Stan's coat. 

    Stan stared at the man crying in front of him. He knew something about the portal and from the sounds of it he knew Ford pretty well. He needed his help. Stan racked his brain for something he could say to get the man to help him. 

    “Hey looks… I'm sorry , ok?” the man looked up at a wide eyed Stan. Stan paused for a second trying to come up with an excuse that Ford could have for doing whatever he did to apparently ruin this man's life. “I just got stuck in my research, you know?” the man chuckled dryly.

    “‘I got stuck in my research, I could taste the end result and i didn’t want to let it go’ isn’t that what you told me when i got attacked by the gremloblin?” Stan nodded wondering what a gremloblin is in the back of his head. “Come up with a better fucking excuse then that, you mother fucker!”

    I can’t let him leave. I need his help. Stan thought to himself before grabbing the man's arm. “Please… I need your help.” The man pulled his arm out of Stan's grasp.

    “Of course you do! Why else would you even be talking to me? Why the fuck would you be anywhere fucking near me! You only ever want me when you need my help!” the man screamed. His voice gives out every so often. What had happened to him?

    “You know that’s not true.” Stan assured him, against his own knowledge trying to fix the situation. 

    “No? Then name a fucking time Stanford. You only wanted me when you needed help with the portal or you wanted to pretend someone loved you! Guess what, Stanford? I did love you! I loved you more then anything and you just fucking used me! I left my wife and gave up my son for you! And you just threw me away!” Stan just stared at the man, unable to comprehend exactly what was happening.

    “You… loved me?” he ended up asking under his breath. The man ran a hand through his hair and chucked again softly. 

    “No, Stanford. I just gave up everything to be with you. And I've spent every night with you since I arrived here. I just chose to sleep in your bed rather than mine. I just kissed you ever possible opportunity I possibly could just fucking because.” Stan looked at the man shocked. 

     Stanford and this crazy guy standing in front of him had been dating? He always knew Ford was gay but really were his standards really this low? To go for some crazy lunatic that doesn’t look like he’s showered in weeks. 

    “But if you have to ask it just proves to me you were using me.” Think Stanley! he told himself ``you're losing him “It doesn’t matter, anyways. I’m done with you.” The man turned to walk away and before Stan could think he grabbed his arm and pulled him into a kiss.

 It was the only thing he could think to do. The man clearly loved Stanford and the best way to get his help is to use his feelings against him. He knew it was a shitty thing to do but it’s not like he hadn’t done it before.

The man froze for a second before melting into the kiss and threading his fingers in Stan's hair. Stan wrapped his arms around the man's waist to pull him in. the man made a content noise against Stan's lips before pulling back to catch his breath. He looked down sadly and dropped his hands to Stan's shoulders. 

“You know this doesn't prove anything right? This is just another way you decided to use me...” he trailed off at the end of new tears following the trails left by the past dried ones.

“Please.” Stan mumbled softly under his breath. “I need you.” It was true. He might not have needed him in the same way as Ford did but he did truly need him. He was the only he could possibly get help from. The man looked up into Stan's eyes before sighing softly.

“Fine. But you have to promise me that Bill is gone and ain’t coming back.”  Bill? Who was Bill? Was he another guy Ford knew? Did he cheat with him? Is that how Ford ruined this man's life? 

Stan thought for a second before answering “Bill is gone for good. I don't want anything to do with that monster after what happened.'' Stan saw hope flicker in the man's eyes only for a second before he leaned in and kissed Stan softly.

“It’s just us again.” the man confirmed. Stan nodded. This was going to be easier than he thought. This man was talking his word as gospel. Pretending to be Ford was gonna be a sinch even with this guy around. 

“Should we go back to the house then?” Stan asked and to his delight the man nodded. The man started walking in the direction of the shack and stood close behind him. 

There were still a few problems that Stan was going to have to figure out. For instance if this man was truly wanting to start a relationship with him he’d have to figure out the six fingers thing. And he was going to have to figure out how far he was willing to go for this project because the man was going to want to have sex eventually. What were his excuses for not doing it for long amounts of time or ever at all? But most importantly how was he going to figure out his name. 

Fidds had been living with him at the shack for 24 hours now and he’d been hiding his hands in every way possible while he tried to figure out what to do about them. He finally decided on what he was going to do but he dreaded it.

He sat at Ford's desk staring at the knife in front of him trying to work up the courage to slice the sides of his hands. 

“Come on Stan you can do this. You’ve had to go through worse stuff than this. This is just self inflicted.” He tried to force a laugh to convince himself he was fine but it just came out broken.

He pulled out his lighter from his pocket. The most convincing way to do this would be to cauterize the wound afterwards but god was it going to hurt. He picked up the knife and held it against the outside of his pinky and took a deep breath. 

Later in his life Dipper and Mabel would ask about the scars and he would make something up off of the top of his head about a bear fight.

The conversation with the man went well. He was heartbroken that Stanford would do that but apparently when Ford got drunk for the first time with Fidds he had taken a knife to this extra finger so it wasn’t hard for the man to swallow.

He was running out of nicknames he could call the man without sounding suspicious and he needed to find a way to figure out his name. He had been writing words on a page in random order pretending to work on something for almost an hour when he had a brilliant idea.

He looked up the man sitting across the table from him. “What’s your name again?” the man looked up in shock and for a second stan doubted his decision. 

“Fiddleford?” he paused as he watched stan write it down “How can you not remember my name? We’ve known each other since college and we’ve dated for three years.” The heartbreak in Fiddleford's voice was enough for Stan to scramble for an explanation.

“I meant your last name! I just figured I’d write it down anyways since I needed it too.” Fiddleford relaxed in his seat, but he still seemed on edge.

“You should know my last name too. '' he pondered. “Esspecically since you agreed to take it the second gay marriage becomes legalized.” he added jokingly. They both laughed at that idea for a second before Stan added 

“I was asking how to spell it.” Fiddleford laughed softly

“It’s like bucket but with ‘mc’ in front of it” he answered before returning to the computer he was tinkering with in front of him 

“McBucket?” Stan asked, writing it down as he said it out loud. Fiddlford laughed and rolled his eyes.

“Yes my name’s Fiddleford McBucket. Nice to meet you.” Stan looked up at him expectly “McGucket you nerd. You better learn it soon because even if we can’t get married you promised me you’d be Stanford McGucket by 1990.” Stan jerked his head up from where it had been while he was writing and Fiddleford seemed to get a good laugh out of it. “You did! You were drunk but you did.”

Ok so get the portal up and running before 1990 Stan thought to him shit the portal. I gotta ask about that “hey um” he trailed off thinking of the right words to say “how would you feel about helping me get the portal operational again?” 

Fiddleford looked up at Stan, fear coloring his features. All the blood had drained from his face and his eyes were as wide as dinner plates. “No.” he snapped, Stan's face fell as he realized this was going to be the hardest part of all of this.

“Why not?” he asked. He was sincerely hoping the man would say something easy to fix like ‘we don't have the right tools’ or ‘you have to secretly be your own twin brother posing as Stanford’ but the chances of that were slim. 

“Because I almost died trying to get that machine up and running and I don’t want to have to go through that again.” He looked down at the computer. No longer tinkering with it just staring at it. 

“I promise we’ll be safer with it. I won’t let it happen again. I just need to get it opened.” Fiddleford looked up at him and sighed.

“Fine but I'm out of here the second it stops working.” Stan had to hide his excitement. He didn’t want Fiddleford to think he was using him, despite the fact that he was. 

“You’ll come back when I shut it down, right?” he asked honestly, not caring about the answer.

 Fidds looked up at him and smiled lovingly at him. Stan didn’t want to admit it but it made his heart skip a bit with how loving he was. “Of course I will.” he grabbed Stan's hand from across the table “You’re stuck with me for good this time.” 

    Stan couldn’t help but smile at the comment. He stroked Fiddleford’s hand with his thumb and tried not to think about the fact that Fiddleford thought he was holding hands with Stanford and not him. 

    Stan had traveled around the country for ten years of his life. He thought himself to be a well cultured man. Someone who could deal with pretty much anything. But that was before he walked in on Fidds sitting on the ground with what looked like a funky gun to his head. 

    “Fidds. What’re you doing? What-” He stopped himself before asking what it was. He was sure Stanford would know and therefore he couldn’t ask. Fidds dropped the gun from his temple and looked up at Stan. His eyes were puffy and red and he was trembling. Before Stan knew it he was sitting on the ground next to him pulling him into a hug. 

    “I'm sorry for I know you told me to destroy this and I'm sorry I just couldn't. I just want to forget… the memories of that thing  you worked with… the memories of Bill… they just keep popping up. I just want to forget...“ he sobbed against Stan's shoulder. Stan didn’t understand any of it but if Ford thought it was dangerous it probably was. 

    He held out his hand silently asking for the gun. Fidds pulled it into his chest like it was a teddy bear. “Fidds, please.” Stan begged softly. Fiddleford reluctantly hands over the gun and stands, sets it down on the ground behind him and pulls Fidds into the hug again. 

    “Whatever happens, I'll protect you. I promise.” Stan assured.  He wanted so badly to have meant it. He wanted to be there if Fidds ever had to face Bill. Hell he wanted to rip Bill apart piece by piece, but he knew one day he was going to be one of the things Fidds wanted to forget so badly. 

    It had been a year since he had started working with Fidds. Everything had gone smoothly since the incident with the gun, which Stan now kept in the basement under lock and key. Fidds had started working shifts with Stan and the tours of the house. He complained about it at first but grew to love it over time. They spent everyday working together, every evening working on the portal, and every night curled up in their bed together.

    Stan was the closest he had been to happiness in years. He had everything he ever wanted. There were only two problems. His brother was still trapped on the other side of the portal and his boyfriend was only dating him because he thought he was his brother. Stan tried to ignore those facts unless he had too. 

    They haven't made much progress with the portal and everyday that Ford wasn’t on their side of the portal he got more scared that he wasn't coming back. He tried to push that thought from his mind whenever he could but it was hard to forget when that was the only reason he was doing what he was. 

    “Ford?” Fidds asked from behind him, tearing Stan from his thoughts. “I have bad news.'' Stan's heart skipped a beat and he turned around. “Your father passed away...” Stan tried not to sigh out of relief. Thank god it wasn’t something with the portal. 

    “Ok.” he said calmly. “Thank you for telling me” He turned back to his work unphased by the news. Fidds came up behind him and rested his hands on stnas shoulders. 

    “You’re allowed to be upset.” He assured as he started to rub his shoulders. Stan leaned back into the contact. It never really crossed his mind that Ford might have taken the news badly. He didn’t know Ford's relationship with their father. He decided this was going to be one of those times that we talked more as himself then as Ford. 

    “Good riddance honestly.” he huffed. Fidds took a step back and Stan sighed softly at the lack of contact “Hey, I was enjoying that '' he turned around to face Fidds who looked extremely upset. “What’s wrong F?”

    “What’s wrong is you should be more upset!” Oh, shit! Ford did have a good relationship with their father. “You and your dad talked constantly! What changed?” Stan didn’t have a good answer. He was trying to dig himself out of a pretty deep hole. So instead of talking he just shrugged.

    “Man’s always been an ass it just got worse when I started the tours.” Fidds didn’t seem satisfied with that answer but he dropped it anyways. He probably thought that Stan would come to his senses and admit to his feelings but honestly Stan couldn’t care less that the old guy was dead. He had beat him and Ford their whole lives and kicked him out over a stupid mistake. 

    He wondered why Ford had kept up to date his dad. He wondered if he had forgiven him for everything he did to them as children. Then again Ford didn't get beat nearly as often or as bad. Maybe it was easier for Ford to brush it off. Maybe he forgave his dad when Stan was kicked out. 

    That thought made Stan’s blood go cold. Stanford might have fixed his relationship with his father because he kicked him out. Maybe Ford just wanted Stan gone.

    He couldn't get himself to work on the portal that night. Instead he and Fidds just watched mindless tv until they fell asleep in each other's arms. 

    Stan has screwed up. He had screwed up big time. He didn’t think he would ever be able to dig himself out of this hole. 

    Fidds and his relationship had been going great for the last year and a half. They were comfortable with each other, So it was no wonder that Fiddleford wanted to be intimate. But Stan had issues with that idea. For starters, he’s not the person Fiddleford wanted to have sex with and the idea of having sex with someone who thought you were your brother wasn’t the most appealing thought.

    But when Fiddleford started kissing his neck and sliding his hands under his shirt while they were watching some random romcom Stan had a hard time holding back. He pulled Fidds into his lap and kissed him until they both were breathless. He pulled off Fidds’s shirt and kissed down his chest. He wanted nothing more than to worship Fidds and never let go of him. 

    Fidds threaded his fingers in Stan's hair and pulled him up by it, earning a moan from Stan. Fidds pulled him into a kiss and pulled his shirt over his head. If Stan would have been thinking he would have stopped him. He would have told him he wanted to stop. Anything to get him not to take his shirt off but he wasn’t thinking. He was drunk off Fidds's kiss.

    Fidds kissed his neck and ran his hands over Stan's chest before stopping abruptly and looking down at the myriad of scars scattering Stan's torso. Scars that Ford didn’t have. Fidds brow furrowed, trying to figure out what he was seeing. He looked up at Stan looking for the answer. Stan didn’t have one.

    “You didn’t have any of these last time.” he stated. “And there’s no way you could have gotten some of these without me knowing” he ran his fingers over a bullet wound scar on the side of Stan’s torso. “So what the hells going on Stanford?”

    Stan swallowed. He didn’t know what to say. There wasn’t a good enough lie  that could get him out of this. He was panicking. He tried to say something but he could only stutter out ‘um’s and ‘well’s. 

    Fiddleford stood up. Stan expected to find anger but all he saw on Fidds’s face was confusion. He wished more that he could lie himself out of this situation but he couldn’t see a way out. So he settled with honesty.

    “I’m not Ford. And I haven't been for awhile.” Fidds laughed softly. Clearly trying to convince himself this was a joke. 

    “You have to be Ford. I mean who else would you be? I mean look at you!” Stan looked at him sadly. Realization hit Fidds like a truck. “Stanley...” he said softly “Stanford used to mumble that in his sleep… I always figured it was the brother he used to talk about. I never thought it could be his twin.” Stan stood up, reaching for Fidds’s hand. Fidds pulled his hand away like he had been burned.

    “You lied to me!” he screamed. Stan only looked down and nodded at the ground in response. “Why?” Stan looked up unsure of how to answer “Why did you lie to me?” he yelled tears now streaming down his face.

    “There was an accident,” Stan tried to explain. “Ford ended up on the other side of the portal. I need your help to save him.” fidds only stared at him in shock.

    “You mean to tell me you’ve been Ford since the portal broke?” he snapped. Stan nodded again and Fidds laughed dryly, tears streaming down his face. “It’s been almost two years! You’ve been pretending to be Ford for almost two years!” he was sobbing in between his words. Stan wanted nothing more than to hug him and tell him everything was going to be ok. 

    “Fidds I’m sor- '' Stan was cut off but Fidds’s fist collided with his nose. He fell back onto the ground holding his nose. He looked up at Fiddleford whose expression had gone dark. 

    “Dont fucking apologize to me!” he screamed “You. Lied. To. Me. For. Two. Fucking. Years.” He kicked Stan in the stomach after every word. 

Stan took each blow. He deserved it. Fidds didn’t deserve to be lied to, let alone for two years. Stan looked up at Fidds, tears mixed with blood from his nose dripping down his face. 

Fidds kicked him in the jaw before leaning down and grabbing his shirt off the floor. “Stay the fuck away from me you hear? I don't want anything to do with you.” He stormed out of the house slamming the door behind him. 

Stan turned so he was on his back and staring at the ceiling. He made no move to get up for hours. He just stared into space and thought about everything that had happened in the past year and a half. He regretted all of it and yet he regretted none of it. He regretted hurting Fidds but he never wanted to give up the memories they had made together.

Stan sobbed as he realized he had fallen in love with Fidds over the year and a half they had known each other. The love of his life now wanted nothing to do with him and it was all his fault.

When he did get up he got a stack of napkins for the bleeding and headed down into the basement to bury his face in work and try to forget about the man he loved all but spitting in his face.

Dipper and Mabel had been living in Gravity Falls for over three months now. Ford had come out of the portal , Weirdmageddon had already come and gone, and their birthday was coming up soon. Dipper had solved all of the mysteries he had wanted to solve but one of the mysteries Mabel was trying to solve never came to be.

Why did Grunkle Stan seem so sad whenever he looked at Old Man McGucket?

[orangeoctopi7]

For Want of a Switch

... A Nintendo Switch, amirite?

No, JK I’ve actually started a new fic because plot bunny/fandom pet peeves wouldn’t let me work.

An AU where things go a little more smoothly at the UFO crash site, Dipper doesn’t make any life-changing decisions without sleeping on it first, and Ford clarifies some earlier statements made while under emotional duress.

Many metaphors have been made about how changing course by just a couple of degrees can lead to a very different destination. How flipping a simple switch can make a difference between a train ending up in Paris or Munich. In this case, the metaphorical switch was as simple as Ford and Dipper not pressing a real switch inside a derelict spaceship. Because of this, no security droids showed up when Dipper found the adhesive, and they were free to continue their conversation about apprenticeship uninterrupted.

“I-I dunno.” Dipper stammered when Ford insisted that Mabel would be fine on her own in California. “We’ve never really been apart before.”

“And isn’t that suffocating?” Ford asked.

“...What do you mean?” Dipper asked for clarification. He was pretty sure he knew where his great uncle was coming from, but he had to be sure. Because if not… well, the boy wouldn’t let anyone talk about his sister like that and not stand up for her, not even The Author.

“I mean always living with the expectations that you have to go everywhere together, to do everything together! I mean when people act as though you’ve done something wrong if you ever try to follow your own path, even your own twin!”

Dipper nodded. “I know exactly what you mean. The teacher over our Quiz Bowl team is always asking me when Mabel’s gonna join, no matter how many times I tell him she’s not into that sort of thing. And every time Mabel gets a part in the school play, everyone else pesters me so much for not auditioning that I end up joining the stage crew, even though rehearsals are the same time as Game Club. Mabel always says I don’t have to, but… I just get so tired of all the other teachers and students getting on my case.”

There were even more instances like this that Dipper could list. Heck, just earlier this summer, Mabel had been upset because he wouldn’t go trick-or-treating with her. But no, Mabel was more upset that Dipper had tried to ditch her without explaining that he wanted to go to the dance with Wendy, and Robbie had made him feel embarrassed about being too old for it. She wouldn’t have been so mad if he’d just talked to her in the first place. Right?

When he stopped to think about it, Dipper realized it was probably even worse for Ford and Stan when they were growing up. They may have been fraternal twins, but they definitely looked identical. And while Dipper had never met his great-grandfather, the few stories he’d heard about the guy didn’t make him sound like a very supportive parent. 

“Dipper, can you honestly tell me you never felt like you were meant for something more?” Ford asked. “More than what people expect of you? More than just being half of an assumed pair?”

“I-I guess… maybe? I dunno. Staying here in Gravity Falls, working with you… it sounds like a dream come true, but I’m not sure I have what it takes. Bill tricked me, and I was wrong about Stan and the portal.…”

“Bill tricked me too, remember?” Ford assured him. “And you were right about Stan and the portal. It was too dangerous, and he shouldn’t have opened it.”

“But then you never would have--”

“I know. Believe me, I know. And I’m so glad I got to come back to Gravity Falls and meet you and Mabel, but… but it’s selfish of me to feel that way, because the event that brought me home put the rest of the universe in danger. Once we find the alien adhesive and seal the rift, maybe I can-- I can finally live without- well, with a little less guilt.” He sighed and muttered under his breath. “Sixty-three years old, and I’m still cleaning up after his messes.” Ford shifted through a few more containers, still looking for the adhesive. “What I’m trying to say is: I think you do have what it takes.”

“If you say so…” Dipper shrugged. “I mean, I can’t even work this magnet gun right!” He held it up to demonstrate and ended up zapping a hexagonal container right to him. It leaked a strange pink goop when he tried to pry it off. 

“That’s it!” Ford cried. “You did it, my boy, you found the adhesive!”

“I did?” 

“Yes! What did I tell you? You do have what it takes, kid, you’re brilliant!” Ford hugged him, and then carefully packed up the alien adhesive. “We can continue this discussion on the way back home. For now, we’ve got bigger things to worry about. I’ve been working on a specialized glue-gun back in the lab. We should be able to fill it with the alien adhesive and seal up the rift.”

Dipper got a few more tries with the magnet gun on their way back out of the crashed alien ship, and by the time he reached the ladder again, he’d actually gotten the hang of it.

“Great Uncle Ford?”

“Yes, my boy?” 

“If… if I do become your apprentice, could we come back here some time?”

Ford grinned warmly. “Absolutely.”

As they ascended the ladder, Dipper paused to take a few more selfies before they left the UFO, and he even got Ford to pose with him in one, but it was clear the old researcher wanted to get back to the lab and seal off the rift as soon as possible. Their climb up was otherwise uneventful. But while Dipper was exiting the ship, his foot caught on the lip of the opening, and tripped over the rock that had been covering the access hatch before. Luckily, his backpack took the brunt of the fall. Unluckily, they heard the loud crunch of something breaking.

Dipper and Ford shared a moment of wide-eyed terror as the boy hurriedly opened up his bag and pulled out the rift. They shared a sigh of relief when they found the crack in the containment unit hadn't expanded more than a millimeter, and was still stable. Dipper rummaged around in his bag and found the offending culprit.

“Phew, it was just my walkie-talkie.” The boy sighed with relief. The speaker had popped out and the Talk button was stuck down. “Oh well, we weren’t getting a signal anyway.”

“I can fix it for you, once the rift is taken care of.” Ford assured him, “But we need to seal it fast, before that crack finally breaks.”

Dipper nodded and gingerly held out the containment unit to his uncle. “I think you’d better carry it from here on out.”

Ford solemnly took the rift and placed it in one of his many coat pockets. “That was close. We can’t afford to have any accidents with this.”

“I’m sorry…” Dipper murmured.

“You don’t need to be sorry, my boy. Just more careful.”

“See, this is what I’m talking about when I say I don’t think I have what it takes! I just almost ended the universe!”

“Almost being the operative word. You almost destabilized the rift, but you didn’t.” Ford reassured him. “Meanwhile, look at all the things you have done! Defeated a swarm of gnomes, faced off against a character from a fighting game brought to life, outsmarted a shapeshifter! How many other twelve-year-olds could do that? This town is a magnet for things that are special. For people who are special, like you and me!” Ford hugged him. “So what do you say, will you be my apprentice?”

“Well… I… it’s a really big decision.” Dipper said slowly. “I’m gonna need time to think about it.”

“You’re right. It is a big decision.” Ford agreed. “And you’ve got the rest of the week to consider it. Of course, I hope you say yes.”

* * *

The sun was just starting to dip towards the horizon when they got back to the shack, the sunlight filtering in long slanting beams between the trees. The beautiful scenery added to Dipper's good mood as he ran up the stairs to the attic, eager to share the day's events with his sister.

"Mabel! I just had the greatest day of my life! Aliens are real, and I got to explore their ship with Grunkle Ford, and-" he halted in his rambling when he saw his sister curled up in a ball on her bed, her back to him. "Mabel, what's wrong?"

She slowly sat up and turned around, revealing her walkie-talkie, still receiving transmissions from Dipper's busted one.

"Tell me I heard wrong, Dipper!" She cried, "Tell me you're not going to stay here and be Ford's apprentice!"

"Well, I… I haven't really made a decision yet." Dipper replied. "I've still got all week to think about it."

"You just had the best day of your life? Well I just had the worst day of my life!" Mabel informed her brother with tears in her eyes. "I found out that everything I was looking forward to in the future, highschool, a birthday party with my friends, even saying goodbye to them at the bus stop before we leave, it's all going wrong! And now I find out you, the one constant in my life, might not be coming home with me!?"

"I-I don't know, I haven't decided yet…" Dipper stammered. "Just give me a couple of days to think about it, we'll figure this out!"

"Why can't you figure out right now that it's a terrible idea!?"

Dipper tried to remember how Ford had put it. He made it sound so clear and logical. "Come on, Mabel, we can't always do the same thing! We have to choose our own path!"

"What does that even mean!?" She threw her hands up. "I'm your sister and your friend, Dipper, whatever you do it's gonna affect me, especially if it's you leaving me!"

“Well, always staying with you is going to affect me and the opportunities I have!”

“I’m not saying you always have to stay with me!” Mabel retorted. “But moving away from home for good? Staying cooped up in a lab with Grunkle Ford all the time? Is that really what you want?”

“I don’t know what I really want!” Dipper steamed. “So far today nobody has given me time to stop and really think about this! You think I don’t have misgivings about moving away from Mom and Dad? But it’s not like I’d never come back, I’d come to visit for holidays and stuff. And I wouldn’t be cooped up in the lab with Grunkle Ford all the time. We’d go out exploring, and I’d hang out with Wendy when she’s done with school for the day, and Grunkle Stan would still be around to make me do chores… probably…”

Come to think of it, Dipper wasn’t quite sure what Stan was going to do once tourist season was over. It was clear Ford didn’t approve of the Mystery Shack, even less than Dipper had when the boy first arrived. Would Stan stay in Gravity Falls after the Shack was shut down? Did he have anywhere else to go?

“Fine!” Mabel huffed as she stormed out of the room. “Take you time thinking about how much fun you’re gonna have chasing fairies with Grunkle Ford, while I’m stuck in Piedmont doing math homework!”

Dipper waited quietly in their bedroom as he listened to Mabel thunder down the stairs. He figured it was probably best to give her some space to cool down for now. They’d talk more about it when she wasn’t so upset, when they could both think clearly. Once the front door slammed shut, he knew it was safe for him to go downstairs. He headed down to the basement to see if Ford needed any help sealing the rift.

* * *

It was early in the evening, but the gift shop was completely empty. Of course, the fact that it was the second-to-last Friday of August didn’t help. Tourist season was coming to a close. Normally the Mystery Shack would cut back to only being open on the weekends once September rolled around, going until Halloween, when Stan would throw together a haunted house and go out with a bang before closing down until the holiday season, when he’d open up for a couple of weeks before shutting down again until Spring Break of next year.

Not this year, though.

This year, Stan would be closing up the Mystery Shack for good.

“Alright, I ain’t payin’ ya to stand around when we’re not pulling in any cash.” Stan barked at Wendy. “Go home!”

“You don’t need to tell me twice.” Wendy shrugged, pulling off her name tag and grabbing her jacket.

“You too, Soos!” Stan turned to the handyman, who was busy pulling boxes out of a closet.

“You sure, Mr. Pines?” Soos asked, “I thought you wanted me to clear out all our old inventory.”

“It can wait ‘til tomorrow. I get the feeling it’s gonna be another slow day.”

“Oh. Well, I could help you clean out the kitchen instead!”

“Soos.”

“You don’t gotta pay me. Oh, or I could vacuum the living room!”

“Go home, Soos! If you’re so set on doin’ chores, do ‘em for your Abuelita!”

“Oh. Ok…”

Stan hadn’t told Soos about Ford’s mandate to close down the Mystery Shack after the kids left, and he worried the handyman would figure it out if he stuck around. Stan also hadn’t told the guy he’d be kicked out after the kids left. Maybe Stan was just trying to spare the kid’s feelings. Or maybe he was hoping Soos’ inevitable water works when he found out would persuade Ford to change his mind. Not likely, but hey, it was worth a shot, right?

The old conman was tallying up the day’s profits in the cash register (there weren’t any) when his hearing aide picked up the bang of the attic bedroom door slamming open, followed by the tromp-thump-clomp-thunk of someone stomping down the stairs, punctuated by the creeeeeeak-slam of the front door being thrown open and then kicked shut. 

“Oh boy.” He sighed, locking the till. He’d had to cheer Mabel up just an hour ago, and he didn’t think it was a coincidence that someone had stormed out of the house just a few minutes after Dipper and Ford got back from their latest nerd escapade. What were those kids fighting about now?

Stan peeked out the window at the front porch, and sure enough, there was Mabel, sobbing on the couch, her head pulled into her sweater. Earlier she’d just been sad and unsure of the future, but now Stan could see her mood had shifted, and not for the better. These were tears of anger and frustration.

“Hey Pumpkin, you alright?” Stan asked as he peeked out the front door.

“No!” 

Right, stupid question. “Well, wassamatter? I gotta punch some jerk for you?”

“No…” Mabel said more quietly this time. Stan figured that was all the invitation he needed to sit down next to her.

“You feelin’ up to tellin’ me what happened, or am I gonna have to play Ducktective?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it right now…” Mabel mumbled, her voice a bit muffled by the sweater over her face. “Can you just… can you just sit here with me for a little while?”

“Eh, sure, I got nothin’ better to do.” Stan played it off like he was indifferent, but he wrapped a gentle arm around her back. He could tell she appreciated it by the way she leaned into his side.

They sat there like that for maybe five minutes before Mabel finally began to talk on her own.

“You remember earlier, when you said at least whatever happens, I’ll still have Dipper with me?”

Yep, they were definitely fighting again. “Yeah?”

“I’m starting to worry I won’t always have him with me.”

“Alright, what’d that bundle of sweat and nerves do now?”

“It’s not something he did… not exactly.” Mabel was quiet for a moment, as if she wasn’t sure she should share the next bit. “Grunkle Ford asked Dipper if he wanted to stay here in Gravity Falls and be his apprentice.” 

“...Did he now?” Stan asked icily. He didn’t want to make this about him and his brother’s issues. This was Mabel’s problem. But oh boy, he was going to have words with his brother as soon as he had the chance. “Sixty-three years old and I’m still cleanin’ up after his messes…” he muttered under his breath.

“I overheard them talking about it on the walkie-talkies.” Mabel nodded, apparently not hearing that last bit. “And when Dipper got back, he said he needed time to think about it! I guess I’m mad because if it were me, I wouldn’t have to think about it. If I had to choose between staying in Gravity Falls without Dipper, or going home with him, I’d choose to go home with him every time!”

Stan gave her a reassuring squeeze. “I know you would, sweetie. But you gotta remember, your brother’s one of those over-thinking types. He’s gotta over-think everything! That big head of his will figure out it’s a bad idea.”

“But what if he doesn’t?”

“Then we’ll have to talk some sense into him.”

Mabel shifted inside her sweater and gave a little moan. She still wasn’t reassured.

Stan heaved a deep sigh. “Look, I’m gonna tell you somethin’ I wish I’d known when I was a kid. I don’t think this’ll happen, but… if Dipper does decide he wants to stay with Ford, or if when you two get older, he decides to do something you really don’t think he should do, you should try and talk some sense into him. But if he still won’t listen, all you can do is support him. Cuz if he ever feels like you’re tryin’ to hold him back, that’ll only push him away faster.”

Mabel finally poked her head out of her sweater and looked up at Stan with wide eyes. “I’m not trying to hold Dipper back… I just don’t want to be alone!”

He hugged her. “I know, sweetie. Nobody does.”

“And you weren’t trying to hold Grunkle Ford back when you two were teenagers! The thing with his science fair project was just an accident!”

Oh great. Here he’d been trying to not make this about himself and his issues with his brother. “Believe me, I know. But it doesn’t matter what I know. He still thinks it was sabotage.” The old conman shook his head. “But look, kid, you don’t gotta worry about my issues, even if they do seem pretty similar. I know right now with summer ending and your last year of middle school starting, it seems you’re growin’ up too fast, but the truth is, you’re still young. You an’ your brother’ve still got years an’ years to mess up and make up.”

Mabel squirmed the rest of the way out of her sweater and wrapped her arms around Stan’s waist. “Thanks Grunkle Stan. I guess I feel a little better now. I’m still worried about what Dipper will do, though.”

“Well, if he does decide to stay here with Ford, maybe I’ll come home with you.”

Mabel giggled and looked up at him again, but her smile faltered when she saw he wasn’t joking. “W-what are you talking about? You can’t just leave the Mystery Shack, this is your home!”

Yikes. Stan probably shouldn’t have said that out loud. He was pretty sure the whole reason Ford was letting him stay until the kids left was because the old nerd didn’t want them to know about it and make a fuss. Stan had just wanted to make Mabel feel better, but she’d just be more upset if she found out he’d been kicked out.

Luckily, something else caught their attention before that conversation could start. They heard something rustling through the underbrush. It was hard to see in the dimming light as the sun continued to sink towards the horizon, but a humanoid figure seemed to be making its way towards the clearing that housed the Mystery Shack. Stan reached behind the couch for his anti-creep bat, which he used to chase off Manotaurs, IRS agents, or the stray beautiful men that had started hanging around a couple of months ago. But an uneasy feeling he couldn’t place made him reach further down until his hand closed around the handle of a pistol. His thumb rested carefully against the safety switch, unsure if he should flip if off yet.

Before the figure came into full view, they heard its voice, high pitched and annoying, but probably male. “M-M-M-Mabel? M-Mable? Ugh, where is she? She should’ve come this way by now!”

Stan switched the safety off. He was about to order Mabel back inside when the stranger finally stumbled into the clearing. He was a tall, pudgy man with a hairstyle that looked straight out of the 1920’s, wearing weird little goggles and a gray jumpsuit. Wait, not gray, forest camo. Wait, no, brick pattern. No, a seascape. No, definitely gray. Wow, were Stan’s eyes really that bad?

“Wait, Blendin!?” Mabel exclaimed. She hopped up from the couch, but Stan immediately grabbed her shoulder and sat her back down. Every instinct in his body was telling him this was wrong.

This Blendin guy looked up with surprise when he heard her voice. “M-Mabel! I’ve been looking all over for you! I-I-I need your help!”

That just set off more alarm bells. Why would this creep be looking for Mabel in the woods instead of the home she’d been living in for the past two-and-a-half months?

“Mabel, who the heck is this weirdo?” Stan asked uneasily.

“That’s Blendin Blandin. He’s a time travel guy. Me and Dipper accidentally lost him his job, and then he challenged us to a time travelers’ gladitoral death match called Globnar, which we won, so we got him his job back, and now we’re cool!” She assured her uncle. “What’s wrong, Blendin?”

“S-something terrible is about to happen, and I-I-I need your help to stop it!”

Mabel tried to stand up again, but Stan kept a hand tightly clamped down on her shoulder.

“Whatever it is, you can tell her from where you’re at.” Stan growled.

“I-I-It’s top secret!” Blendin whined. “I-I-I could lose my job again i-if this gets out!”

“It’s OK Blendin! Grunkle Stan just wants to make sure I’m safe!” Mabel assured him. “But he’s really good at keeping secrets, you can trust him! Why don’t you just come up here and tell us what’s wrong?”

Blendin took a few steps forward, but stopped just a foot short of the porch. “Uuuuh… h-h-how about we meet h-half-way?” 

That was it. Stan whipped out the pistol he’d been hiding behind the couch. “How’s about you start talkin’ now?”

“Grunkle Stan!” Mabel gasped, scandalized.

“A-a-alright!” Blendin whimpered. “I-I-I need something from your brother’s lab! B-but you have to hurry!”

* * *

Ford noticed right away that Dipper’s mood had worsened in the ten minutes since they’d gotten home. His gaze was on the floor, and he shuffled his feet as he left the elevator.

“Let me guess, Mabel didn’t take it well?” 

Dipper just shook his head in reply. “I still need to talk to her about it when she’s not so upset, but… I’m starting to think I shouldn’t take your offer…”

The old researcher felt himself deflate at the boy’s words, but he hoped Dipper hadn’t noticed. Instead he changed the subject. “For now, we need to focus on sealing the rift. Everything else can wait.” He pulled the rift out of his pocket. The crack reached almost completely across the protective dome now. “Dipper, would you please get me the glue gun sitting on the console desk?”

The glue gun in question looked like a cross between one of Mabel’s crafting glue guns and a Nyarf Mega Soaker, complete with an empty tank built into the back end. It was big enough that Dipper needed both hands to lift it. The boy carried it over to Ford, who inserted the tip into the alien adhesive container and began to fill it like a syringe. 

“Alright, I need you to take that flathead screwdriver and very carefully unscrew the base of the containment unit.” Ford instructed.

Dipper did just that, holding his breath the whole time so his hands wouldn’t shake.

“OK, now turn it over, slow and steady, and detach one of the tubes from the dome.”

Dipper turned the dome in his hands, careful to keep the swirling blob of chaos energy inside from touching the glass, and then pulled one of the tiny tubes out. Ford knelt down beside him and inserted the tip of the glue gun into the little hole before the rift could leak out. He began to pump the alien adhesive into the rift, starting at the bottom and working his way up until what had once been a sparkling hole in space was now a glowing pink mass. He continued until the glue began to ooze out of the cracks in the dome.

“Alright, put it down. Careful not to get any of the adhesive on your hands. Step back.” Ford put himself between Dipper and the filled containment dome the moment the boy moved. The old researcher stared it down, as if daring it to do something, anything, to suggest it was destabilizing. He waited a minute. Two. Five. It just sat there, unmoving, unchanging.

Ford released a breath he hadn’t even noticed he’d been holding. Was that it? Was he… done?

The unmistakable sound of a gunshot went off from the vicinity of the porch above them.

Ford swore he jumped as high as the ceiling at the sound. Dipper screamed. The old researcher pressed himself and his nephew into the small space beneath the console desk, looking warilly up at the hole in the roof where Dipper had fallen through under the porch just a few weeks ago. If he concentrated, he could hear voices arguing up there. It sounded like Stan, and another voice he didn’t recognize, but it was hard to make out. He was going to have to go up there if he wanted to know what was happening.

“Stay down here where it’s safe. If Stan or your sister try to come in here without me, don’t trust them until you’ve checked their eyes. If anyone else tries to get in, barricade the door and hide.”

“W-what about the rift?”

Ford glanced down at the ball of glowing adhesive. It’d take at least another 24 hours for it to cure, but it seemed safe, for now. “Hide it, if you have to, but it should be fine.” With that, he darted to the elevator, checking his weapons as he waited for the lift to take him up.

He hoped everyone was ok. It would be the cruelest irony if after finally protecting the universe from the rift, he failed to protect his family.

* * *

“Grunkle Stan, don’t hurt him!” Mabel cried, trying to pull down his arm holding up the gun.

“Just a warning shot, sweetie.” Stan assured her through gritted teeth. “I don’t remember ever mentioning anything about havin’ a brother to you, much less anything about a lab.” He addressed the stranger standing in front of the porch.

“I-I-I’m from the future! I know these sorts of things!” Blendin insisted. Funny. He didn’t seem any more flustered than he had been before the gunshot.

“Sure.”

“Grunkle Stan, he’s telling the truth!”

“I don’t doubt that.” But Stan knew better than anyone that the best way to sell a big lie was with a bunch of technically true facts. And his instincts told him this joker was trying to pass a doozy of a lie. “Go wait inside, sweetie.” 

“No, you’ll shoot him!”

“Only if he gives me a good reason to.” 

“M-M-Mabel, wait!” Blendin implored pathetically.

“Go wait inside kid, or you’re grounded!”

“But Grunkle Stan--”

“Somethin’ about this is off, alright?” Stan muttered to her under his breath. “Pay attention to your instincts, you’ll feel it too. Just do me a favor and go inside where it’s safe, ok?”

After another moment of hesitation, Mabel finally listened to her Grunkle and went inside.

“So,” Stan turned his attention back to the stranger waiting just beyond the porch. “I got five more rounds. That gives you five more chances to tell me why you want something outta my brother’s lab.”

The guy’s posture shifted into something far more confident and inexplicably inhuman as he burst into a long, mocking fit of laughter. The creep’s voice had completely changed the next time he spoke. 

“OH, I SHOULDA KNOWN I COULDN’T PULL ONE OVER ON YOU, STANLEY PINES!” 

“What, am I supposed to be impressed you know my real name? We already established you’re from the future, and even if that wasn’t the case, I’m pretty sure Soos has spread that gossip through half the town by now.”

“WELL, WE BOTH KNOW YOU CAN’T KEEP ON GOING BY ‘STANFORD’ AFTER THE SUMMER ENDS. I’M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU GET USED TO IT.”

“Yeah. Drop the small talk and cut to the chase, bucko. I really don’t wanna shoot you after my niece asked me not to.”

“OK, OK. IT’LL PROBABLY COME AS NO SURPRISE TO YOU THAT YOUR BROTHER’S IN OVER HIS HEAD WITH ONE OF HIS PROJECTS.” The creep pressed a button on his watch and a hologram of what Stan could only describe as massively over-designed snowglobe appeared. “IT’S A TEAR IN TIME AND SPACE. HE’S TRYING TO KEEP THE THING FROM GOING CRITICAL, BUT HE CAN’T DO IT ON HIS OWN. HE’S TRYING TO SEAL IT NOW, BUT IT’S GOING TO RUPTURE. HOWEVER, IF YOU CAN GET IT TO ME BEFORE HE SEALS IT…”

“Uh-huh. And what’re you gonna do with it?”

“TAKE IT TO THE FUTURE, WHERE WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY TO CONTAIN IT, OF COURSE!”

“So why don’t you just ask him for it yourself?”

“HAH! YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW HOW STUBBORN AND PARANOID HE IS! HE’D NEVER LET ANOTHER PERSON TOUCH IT, HE HAS TO BE THE HERO ALL ON HIS OWN!”

“Yeah, you got a good point there. But I meant why don’t you ask him for it yourself when he bursts out this door in about ten seconds.” 

* * * 

The elevator ascent took entirely too long. It had to be at least two minutes since he heard the gunshot go off, which, depending on whether or not anyone sustained an injury, and what kind of injury it was, was time he didn’t have to waste. 

As Ford rushed through the house to the front porch door, he was relieved to note that Mabel was perfectly safe, just peeking anxiously out the front window. But the observation did nothing to slow him down. Through the window he could see Stan on the porch, holding what appeared to be the offending firearm. The gun was pointed at an unfamiliar figure. What was familiar was the figure’s voice. Ford pushed past Mabel and threw the door open, one hand already on his own blaster.

“Bill!!” He cried as he lept dramatically onto the porch, drawing his blaster with a flourish. Stan was looking at him with a smug grin, obviously he’d heard his brother running through the house. Bill, for once, looked surprised. But he quickly regained his composure.

“WELL, SPEAK OF THE DEVIL! I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I’M HERE FOR, SIXER!”

“You’re too late, Bill, I already sealed the rift!” 

Ford was satisfied to see that for the second time in under a minute, Bill looked shocked. “WHAT?!? WHAT--HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING!? FIRST SHOOTING STAR DOESN’T SHOW IN THE WOODS WHEN SHE’S SUPPOSED TO, NOW THIS!? IS SOME LESSER TIME BEING MESSING WITH ME TODAY?” 

Bill removed his goggles, revealing the tell-tale glowing yellow eyes, which he rubbed with frustration before continuing, back in his usual mocking tone. “SO WHAT, DID YOU STEAL THE FATES’ SEWING KIT AND STITCH IT BACK TOGETHER YOURSELF? OR, OH DON’T TELL ME, YOU AND PINETREE WERE AT THE UFO EARLIER. YOU FILLED IT IN WITH SPACE GLUE, DIDN’T YOU? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT TAKES THAT STUFF TO SET? OF COURSE YOU DON’T, YOU NEVER TOOK THE TIME TO TEST IT! TYPICAL SIXER.”

Stanford blanched. No, he hadn’t tested it first. There hadn’t been time! “I-I know it will work! And it doesn’t matter how long it takes to set, you can’t reach it if it’s within the protection spell!”

“I SURE CAN’T!” Bill agreed with a smirk. “BUT I KNOW SOMEONE WHO HATES YOU AS MUCH AS I DO WHO CAN!” He turned to Stan “WHADDAYA SAY, MAC? CARE TO HELP ME STICK IT TO YOUR UNGRATEFUL BROTHER?”

“Yeah, that’s not happening.” Stan growled. “And only I get to call him Sixer!”

Bill’s confident grin set into a forced grimace. 

“HA.” 

“WELL.”

“YOU PROBABLY THINK YOU’VE WON, DON’T YOU? WELL, GUESS AGAIN, LOSER! THIS ISN’T OVER! EVEN IF I CAN’T CROSS THAT BARRIER, I’VE STILL GOT PLENTY OF PAWNS IN THIS HICK TOWN! AND EVEN IF YOU SOMEHOW MANAGE TO KEEP THE RIFT LONG ENOUGH FOR THAT GLUE TO SET? I’VE BEEN WAITING BILLIONS OF YEARS FOR THIS! YOU THINK I CAN’T WAIT ANOTHER DECADE FOR SOME OTHER SCHMUCK TO COME ALONG AND BUILD A PORTAL!? YOU CAN’T STOP ME! AND I’LL MAKE SURE THE ENTIRE PINES FAMILY REGRETS EVER CROSSING BILL CIPHER!”

Bill pulled out a time tape and disappeared in a flash.

The elder Pines twins stood there in silence for a moment, staring at the empty space Bill had just left as if they could still see the anger and hatred radiating from it. 

Stan, of course, was the first one to speak again. “We gotta talk.”

Ford just nodded solemnly, and followed him inside. 

* * *

After Stan finally convinced Mabel to go inside, she’d waited silently, peeking out the nearest window. Stan had probably wanted her to go someplace where she couldn’t hear or see what was happening, but she just had to know everyone was going to be ok. She didn’t want her Grunkle or Blendin to get hurt, even if the time traveler was acting weirder than usual. 

The air froze in her lungs when she heard Bill’s voice come out of Blendin’s mouth. She wanted to run back out there and warn Stan, but he’d asked her to go inside for her own safety, and Stan hadn’t trusted the time traveler from the beginning, so he would probably be fine… right?

Luckily she didn’t have to wait by the window worrying for long. Less than a minute later, Ford came crashing and banging down the hall. His serious glare lightened to relief for the split second he spared his niece a glance, but then snapped right back to blazing fury as he kicked the door open. Mabel heaved a sigh of relief. If anyone could handle Bill showing up at their front door, it was Grunkle Ford.

She peeked back out the window and watched as her Grunkles exchanged words with Bill. They both approached the problem very differently. Ford was yelling with a bravado that faltered the minute Bill pointed out a flaw in his plan. Stan was treating Bill much like he had Gideon. Outwardly, he seemed calm and unworried, but the fact that he’d sent Mabel inside and fired a gun showed he took the threat seriously. 

Bill’s last threat before he time traveled away sent a chill down Mabel’s spine. She remembered the last time she’d crossed paths with the demon. The note he’d left for her in Grunkle Stan’s car. She couldn’t let Dipper down like that again, couldn’t let him get hurt like that again. They needed each other now more than ever.

Of course, it was some reassurance to know that the barrier spell Grunkle Ford had created was obviously working. That was probably the only reason Bill hadn’t marched right up the porch steps and taken her himself. Mabel was doubly glad she’d been able to get that unicorn hair now.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Stan and Ford came back inside. Ford stopped like he’d just remembered something when he saw Mabel still sitting there. 

“I left Dipper hiding down in the lab! I need to go let him know what happened.”

Stan folded his arms impatiently. “Alright, but make it quick, and if you’re not back up here in ten minutes, I’m coming down after you. I’m serious about that talk.”

Mabel decided to follow Ford down to the secret lab. She was suddenly very concerned about Dipper and his whereabouts. Ford didn’t seem to mind; he just gave her a tired smile when they both stopped at the vending machine to input the code. As the two of them got into the elevator, Mabel wondered if this was a good time to confront her Grunkle about the apprenticeship he’d offered Dipper. But no, Mabel was pretty sure she’d just get mad again, and she didn’t want to feel mad right now. She just wanted to be sure her family was safe. So the elevator ride passed in an uncomfortable silence.

When they arrived in the lab, it appeared empty. Only after Ford stepped out of the elevator and past an oozing pink orb on the floor did Dipper emerge from his hiding spot. It was a pretty good hiding spot, behind what looked like a periscope designed to look like part of the totem pole outside. 

“Mabel!” The boy rushed to hug her immediately. “What happened? Wh-where’s Grunkle Stan, is he alright?”

“Stan is fine, he’s just waiting upstairs.” Ford assured him. “Bill came possessing a time travel agent.”

“He was pretending to be Blendin!” Mabel elaborated. “He wanted me and Grunkle Stan to get something out of the lab for him to stop something terrible from happening in the future!”

“Luckily, Stan recognized him as a threat.” Ford continued. “That was the gunshot we heard earlier.”

Dipper paled and pulled at his hair. “Ohmigosh, did Grunkle Stan kill Blendin!?”

Ford actually chuckled as he got down on one knee and placed a comforting hand on Dipper’s shoulder. “It was just a warning shot. Don’t worry, nobody got hurt. But Bill was furious when I told him I’d sealed the rift. I’m afraid we’re not done protecting it yet.”

“What’s this rift you keep talking about?” Mabel asked. “And what’s that sparkly pink ball of glitter-glue in the middle of the floor?”

“I’ll explain once we get back upstairs. Stan has made it quite clear he wants to talk about what’s going on.” Ford assured her.

* * *

They found Stan waiting in the gift shop, leaning against the checkout counter and tapping his foot in an agitated rhythm. 

“Finally. Now you two kids go to your room, the grown-ups have to have a talk.”

“Stanley, they deserve an explanation just as much as you do! Besides, Dipper already knows.”

“Of course he already knows, you asked the kid to stay here without ever botherin’ to talk to anybody else about it!”

“Who even told you… what does this have to do with the rift?”

“Rift? Wha-- I don’t care what you an’ pudgy out there were yellin’ about, I wanna know how come you’re askin’ your 12-year-old nephew to move in!”

Ford rolled his eyes and groaned with frustration. And here he thought they were finally on the same page for once. “That hardly matters right now! Stopping Bill and protecting the rift should be our top priority! Now, I’m sorry I kept this from the two of you up until now, but I honestly thought it would be safer if you knew as little as possible.Obviously, just the opposite was true.” He omitted the fact that he’d been reluctant to let Mabel know about the rift after seeing her break an entire shelf-full of snow globe souvenirs in the gift shop. 

“Don’t try an’ change the subject, Sixer!” Stan pointed an accusing finger at his brother.

“Grunkle Stan, this is more important!” Dipper interjected exasperatedly.

Mabel tugged at the old conman’s sleeve. “They’re right.” Mabel agreed gently. “Besides, I want to know what’s going on and why Bill was here.”

“Fine.” Stan hissed through gritted teeth. “But we’re havin’ this conversation later, no gettin’ out of it!”

They all had a seat around the card table in the den, and Ford began his explanation. “Bill Cipher is an extradimensional being trying to break his way into our world. Dipper and Mabel have already encountered him--”

“I read all your Journals, genius, I know who Bill Cipher is.” Stan snapped. “But I thought he was some annoying triangle guy who showed up in your dreams, not some pushy time traveler.”

“If you read my Journals thoroughly” Ford said testily, “You’d know he’s capable of tricking people into allowing him to possess them.”

Stan grimaced, probably remembering a few particular passages from Journal 3. “Oh.”

“Not long after I first came to Gravity Falls, I was stupid enough to let Bill trick me. He convinced me that building a portal to another dimension would give me the answers I sought, but what he really wanted was to bring his dimension, the Nightmare Realm, into ours.”

“Yeah, but… then Grunkle Stan got you out of there and the portal was super broken, so we don’t have to worry about him anymore, right?” Mabel asked uncertainly, holding vainly onto hope.

“No.” Ford replied with an icy glare at his brother. “Stanley’s reckless operation of the portal created a rift: an unstable hole in space and time that Bill could use to enter our dimension and plunge the world into a bizarre doomsday I call ‘Weirdmaggedon’.”

Stan snorted. “Still got a flair for names, huh?”

“Stanley, would you take this seriously!?”

“What? I heard you say earlier you sealed the rift, and then that jerk exploded. He wouldn’t’ve gotten mad like that unless what you did really screwed with his plans. From what he was sayin’ I’d guess we’ve got another decade at least until we have to deal with that guy.”

“If the rift is sealed properly, then yes, we’ll have bought some time while Bill searches for another pawn to manipulate, but after what he said earlier, I’m afraid the alien adhesive I used to seal it won’t set as quickly as I had hoped, leaving the rift vulnerable.”

“Eh, he was just sayin’ that to psych you out.” Stan waved his hand dismissively.

“Wait, alien adhesive? Is that what that glass ball of glitter-glue was?” Mabel asked.

“That was the containment unit I was using to keep the rift stable. Once it started cracking, I began searching for something to close it up for good. Just earlier today, Dipper and I were able to retrieve the adhesive without any trouble. I sealed up the rift with glue, then filled the containment dome, just to be safe.”

Mabel slapped her forehead. “Grunkle Ford, haven’t you ever heard of ‘A Little Dab’ll Do Ya’?” 

“What?” Ford asked in confusion. 

“When you’re using glue, you only use just enough to get things to stick together!” Mabel explained. “If you use too much, it’ll take forever to dry! If I filled whole ball with Schmelmer’s glue like that, I don’t think it’d ever dry!”

“Can’t you just spray it with a setting agent?” Stan asked. Everyone stared at him in surprise. “What? I use a lot of crafting glue makin’ exhibits for the Shack!”

“I couldn’t use a two-part epoxy because the energy of the chemical reaction would destabilize the rift.” Ford shook his head. “It needs to crystalize naturally, or it will leave seams in time-space that Bill could use.”

“Well, how long will it take to crystalize naturally?” Dipper asked.

Ford hesitated. “I had hoped it would take a little over 24 hours, but…”

“Not if it’s trapped inside a ball like that.” Mabel shook her head. “Can you get it out?”

Ford pinched the bridge of his nose frustratedly. “I’d have to chip away the dome. It’s not just glass, it’s a special substance as strong as steel. But, it has already started cracking, I suppose if I can expand those cracks enough…”

“So, are we still in danger of the rift destabilizing?” Dipper asked.

“Not spontaneously, no.” Ford assured him. “I wouldn’t recommend using it as a football or anything, but even when wet, the adhesive will act as a binding agent and keep the hole in time-space closed. It would take a large burst of energy, or deliberately trying to pierce through the rift in order to open it.”

“And that’s probably what Bill’s gonna try to do.” Dipper said gravely.

“Well we’re not gonna let him!” Mabel declared, slamming her fist down on the table. 

“That’s the spirit!” Ford allowed himself a small smile. He pulled out Journal 3 and turned to a blank page. “Bill said he still had pawns in Gravity Falls. We need to make a list of potential threats to be on the look-out for. Who would be most likely to work with Bill?”

“Gideon!” Mabel answered immediately. “Me and Soos saw him summon Bill earlier this summer!”

“Soos and I.” Ford corrected automatically. He’d only heard about this Gideon from a couple of entries Dipper had added to Journal 3. All he knew about the kid was that he’d apparently had romantic interests in Mabel, hired McGucket to build a giant mech-bot of himself, and was now in jail. It was also clear from the entries that Dipper did not have a high opinion of him. 

“That little troll’s in jail, what’s he gonna do? Use his one phone call to prank us?” Stan rolled his eyes.

“With Bill’s help, there’s no telling what he could do from behind bars.” Ford warned. “But, Stanley does have a point. Are there any other possible pawns who would have easier access to the outside world?”

They all sat there thinking for a moment before Dipper offered his own answer. “I remember seeing a tapestry with Bill on it in the Northwest’s mansion. I don’t know if they realized what it is though, I think they just buy up any local Native American artefacts on principle. It makes them look like they care about the people, when really they’re just trying to keep how horrible Nathaniel Northwest was from getting out and ruining their image.”

“The Northwests have a lot of power over this town. If Bill is working with one of them, protecting the rift will be all the more difficult..” Ford said somberly.

“Luckily, we have an insider with the Northwests!” Mabel grinned. “I’ll call Pacifica tomorrow and ask her to come over and hang out! We can ask her if she’s noticed anything weird about her family then!”

“Good.” Ford nodded. “Anyone else?”

“Eh… pretty sure Toby Determined would sell his soul for a date with Shandra Jimenez.” Stan grunted.

“Noted.” Ford jotted down all their suggestions before continuing. “These are all people we should keep an eye on, but they’re also the most obvious answers… aside from this Toby fellow. Bill will undoubtedly know we suspect them. He doesn’t just work with dangerously unhinged people. Think, is there anyone you wouldn’t normally suspect, who Bill could trick into helping him? Someone with access to this house?”

The three other Pines around the tabel all shared a glance and shrugged.

“Soos is pretty impressionable, but he was there with us when we drove Bill out of Stan’s mind. He knows that triangle guy is bad news.” Mabel answered. “What about Wendy?”

“No way!” Dipper replied vehemently. “Wendy’s way too smart to fall for Bill’s tricks!”

“Unfortunately, being smart has very little to do with it.” Ford reminded him.

“Y-yeah, but…” Dipper stammered. “She’s a different kind of smart! She’s really skeptical and good at reading people. She could tell I had a crush on her, even though I never said anything!” 

Mabel giggled. “That’s because you were really obvious, bro-bro.”

The boy blushed. “Well, what about your friends?”

“You mean Candy and Grenda?” Mabel asked. “I don’t think so. I told them about Bill when we went to get the unicorn hair.”

“Then you would have told Wendy about him too!”

“Oh yeah!” Mabel remembered. “I’m not sure she believed me though. She definitely didn’t believe in unicorns before we found one.”

“Well, that’s everyone who comes here on a regular basis.” Stan leaned back in his chair. “Besides, y’know, the dozens of tourists who come through the gift shop every day.”

Ford paled. “All he would have to do is convince one tourist… Stanley why on Earth did you think it was a good idea to build a gift shop in the same room as the lab entrance!?”

“The best hiding spots are always in plain sight, genius!” Stan retorted. “You don’t gotta worry, tourist season is wrappin’ up, traffic’s gone down a lot. Shouldn’t be too hard to keep an eye on things.”

“You’re out giving your so-called ‘tours’ half the time.”

“Then I’ll ask Soos to keep an eye on the entrance.”

“No, he’s far too easily distracted. I’ll stay in the gift shop and guard the entrance.” Ford insisted.

Stan rolled his eyes. “That’s just gonna draw attention to it, knucklehead! Look, I got security cameras. If you really gotta watch the vending machine every minute, you can watch the video feed from my office.”

“Fine.”

“Welp, would you look at that! We’ve discussed who the heck Bill Cipher is, what he wants, and what we’re gonna do about it!” Stan stood up from his chair abruptly. “Guess this conversation’s over. And would you look at the time! Time to get you kids up to bed!”

“But it’s still light out!” Dipper protested.

“The sun sets really late out here in the summer. You don’t know what time it is!” Stan began to push the kids out of the room.

“I have a watch! It’s only like 7:30!”

Stan quickly swiped the watch off his nephew’s wrist. “What watch? I dunno what you’re talkin’ about. It’s bedtime!”

The young twins, seeing that trying to reason with Stan at this point was an exercise in futility, reluctantly allowed themselves to be shepherded upstairs. 

In the short amount of time while they were gone, Stanford found his mind wandering back to one particular thing Bill had said.

“I KNOW SOMEONE WHO HATES YOU AS MUCH AS I DO WHO CAN! WHADDAYA SAY, MAC? CARE TO HELP ME STICK IT TO YOUR UNGRATEFUL BROTHER?”

Bill was a liar. Of course this was a lie too, right? Stan didn’t hate him, right? Stan had immediately turned Bill down, after all. That might just be because he knew Bill was dangerous though… because he just wanted to protect the kids….

“Alright, you’d better have one heck of an explanation.” Stan returned and Ford was reminded of just why he was so mad at his brother.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware I needed your permission to invite someone to move into my own house!”

“It’s not my permission you need! Have you even talked to their parents yet?”

“Well, no…” Ford admitted. “But it’d be a waste of time to ask them if it turns out Dipper isn’t interested. And besides, I’m sure they’d be thrilled at the opportunity to accelerate their son’s education.”

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “You don’t know their mom, Poindexter. She expects a letter from her kids every week.”

“Well, I’m sure we could keep up that tradition.”

“And every time she calls lately, she’s been goin’ on and on about how excited she is to see her ‘little lamby’ again. She’s not gonna be thrilled her son isn’t coming home.”

Ford rolled his eyes. “You make it sound as if he’s going to die! We’ll make time to go visit the family between projects, and I know communications technology has made huge advancements in the last 30 years. I saw your handyman communicating via a two-way video stream just last night.”

“That’s not the same as him actually being there!” Stan shouted. “He’s still just a kid, Stanford! He still needs his parents!”

“Alright, alright, I’ll call their parents and talk to them about it!” Ford relented. “Is that all?”

“No that’s not all!” Stan fumed, “It’s bad enough you’re offering Dipper an apprenticeship without gettin’ an OK from their parents first, but where do you get off excluding Mabel?”

Ford was taken aback. “I’m not excluding her.”

“You gave Dipper an opportunity to stay here with you, but not her. That’s pretty much the definition of excluding! Earlier today she was almost in tears about having to leave Gravity Falls and bein’ scared of the future. I had to give her a big ol’ pep-talk about how growin’ old is mandatory, but growin’ up is optional, and that even if her future ain’t so bright, at least she’s got her brother. Then, not even an hour later, you two come back from your science shenanigans and she goes wailing out to the front porch! All ‘cuz you want Dipper but not her!”

“It’s not like that at all!” Ford bristled. “Mabel has vastly different interests than Dipper. I couldn’t provide her with the same kind of quality education I could give him! At best I could give her a few tips about detailed pen sketching and blueprint drafting. The most I know about knitting is that I feel comfortable in a soft sweater, and she’d have to be the one to teach me about social structure and modern culture.”

“Oh, so that makes it ok to take her brother away?”

“I’m not ‘taking him away’! Dipper would be free to visit his family in California whenever he’s not busy!” Ford flushed with anger.  “And since I’ll be his only teacher, he’ll be able to request time off and breaks very easily. His schedule will be much more flexible than at a traditional university or college.”

“He’s freakin’ twelve Stanford! He hasn’t even finished Junior High yet! Why are you so eager to start him on grown-up school already?”

“Why wait? Dipper is intelligent, resourceful, and a fast learner. He’d already started following in my footsteps before we even met, I’m just helping him continue on that path. And it’s not ‘grown-up school’. We’d be studying and researching the weirdness of Gravity Falls together.”

“He’s not an adult, Ford, he still needs time to be a kid! He can’t be your new research assistant! Now answer my question: why can’t you just wait until he’s older?”

“Because I don’t want to be alone anymore!” 

Ford’s last statement hung in the air, reverberating like a pin dropped in an empty theater. The old researcher couldn’t believe his emotions had gotten the better of him like that. Just like that, a statement he wasn’t even comfortable admitting to himself had slipped out. He couldn’t even begin to defend or explain what he’d just said. 

Stan’s eyes widened at the unexpected outburst, but his face quickly morphed back into the scowl Stanford was all too familiar with.

“Oh, you don’t wanna be alone, huh? Well, maybe you shoulda thought of that before you kicked me out of the house come the end of Summer!”

“Wait, what?” Ford asked, perplexed.

“Oh, don’t play dumb!” Stan accused. “That first night after I brought you home, you said I could stay here the rest of the summer to watch the kids, then I gotta hit the road.”

“That’s not what I said!”  Ford objected. “I said you could stay upstairs and take care of the kids and run your ‘Mystery Shack’ until the end of the summer, so you can continue bringing in enough money to take care of them. But once the summer is over, I want-- no, I need my home and my identity back. And I’m not going to allow you to continue running a glorified freak show that goes against everything I’ve worked for!”

“And why would I stay, if you’re gonna make me shut down my livelihood?” 

Ford’s breath hitched as the memory of Bill’s words echoed in his head once again. I KNOW SOMEONE WHO HATES YOU AS MUCH AS I DO.

“Well, for one, I’m going to need your help undoing your identity theft.” The old researcher continued after pushing the thought to the back of his head. “And… I know you haven’t got anywhere else to go. I’m not going to just throw you out. I’m not Dad, Stanley.”

Stan stared at his brother with a mixture of surprise and some more complex emotions Ford couldn’t name. 

“Y-yeah, well…” The old conman seemed, for once, to be at a loss for words.

Ford just wished he knew what his brother was thinking. The old researcher had never been good at reading people, but as a child, Stan, at least, was someone he always understood. But now, his brother was even more of an enigma than the average stranger. Ford found himself on the verge of asking… do you really hate me?

“Dang it, this isn’t about us!” Stan snapped, “Stop making this about us! It’s about the kids!”

“I’m making it about us? You’re the one who started complaining about something I didn’t even say!” Ford huffed a frustrated sigh. He was tired. Tired from a long day and tired of fighting. “Look, if this whole apprenticeship thing is bothering Mabel so much, I’ll talk to her about staying here too. I can’t give her the kind of education she needs, but perhaps I can find someone who can.”

Stan threw his hands up in disbelief. “Seriously!? Unbelievable! Have you even listened to a word I’ve said, this whole conversation!?”

“Obviously I have, otherwise I wouldn’t have agreed with your demands to call the kids’ parents and include Mabel in the apprenticeship offer. Nor would I have caught your erroneous assumption that you have the leave at the end of the summer.”

“The whole point I’ve been tryin’ to make to you this whole time is that ya can’t just take these kids away from their home!”.

“I’m not taking them away from their home. You said the two of them have been here for over two months.”

“Yeah, and then they’re goin’ back home next weekend. To their parents. To their real lives.”

“Life is just as real here.” Ford said with finality. “I told you, I’ll talk to their parents tomorrow. That should settle it.”

Stan’s scowl deepened. “Yeah, yeah I guess it will.”

[aceofstars16]

A Game of Charades

Here is my fic for the @lost-legends-zine! I had such a fun time working on this zine, everyone that helped make it so so talented!

AO3

Mabel has no face and Stan can only think of one person who can fix it.

Fic below the cut because it’s quite long!

Stan had seen a lot of crazy things in Gravity Falls. But walking into the living room to find his great niece with no face might have been the most unsettling.

Sidestepping away from the doorway, Stan shook his head, trying to clear the image from his mind. He loved Mabel, but that crooked, red marker smile was very disturbing. Unfortunately, Stan knew exactly who would be able to help in this situation, or at least he better be able to help. And even if he didn’t want Stan around, he hoped Ford would at least want to help Mabel.

“Ford!”

Walking down into the basement, Stan felt an odd sense of discomfort at seeing the place actually being used. Every other time he had walked into this room, it had held a sense of sorrow to it, a darkness that crept into the edges. Not to mention the spiderwebs and dust piles – he had always been more focused on the portal than the cleanliness of the machines. Now it looked used, clean, and bright – though he couldn’t help but notice a hint of sorrow still lingered in his chest. Ford might be back, but it wasn’t exactly what he had been hoping for.

“Yes, Stanley?”

Ford’s inquisitive voice shook Stan out of his thoughts and brought him back to the problem at hand – Mabel. She was what mattered right now, Stan had been dealing with this rift between him and his brother for years, it could be shoved into the back of his mind a little longer.

“Any idea why in the world Mabel is upstairs sitting on the couch without a face?” Might as well get right to the point, no use in dancing around the issue. And if it was a time sensitive thing, Stan was not going to let his great niece be stuck without a face. For her sake and his.

“No face…” Ford frowned, but after a moment, he nodded. “I think I know what’s responsible.”

----------

“Mr. What’s His Face? Seriously? You have no imagination.”

Ford sighed as he made his way to the front room, but he couldn’t help but find it slightly amusing. His names for anomalies hadn’t always been the greatest, and that was probably one of his least imaginative ones. But changing it seemed unfair to his younger self.

“And what would you have called it?” It was a challenge but Ford was also curious. Stan always had been a little better at coming up with…interesting ideas.

“It steals faces, it’s ugly looking – wait, it’s ugly right? I mean why else would it want faces? So, it’s ugly and likes collecting faces…how about Head Swiper, or Expression Snatcher, or The Face Off.”

Ford looked back at Stan, the last suggestion freezing him in his tracks.

“Okay…so maybe not that last one. But it’s gotta be catchy, and Mr. whatever you said is way too long.”

“It seemed appropriate at the time.” Ford defended himself, but he felt a small smile trying to work its way onto his face. It almost felt like old times for a split second. Ever since he had gotten back, there was always a tension when Stan was around, but it was almost as if the banter had eased it.

“There is no appropriate time for a name like that,” Stan retorted, a smug smirk on his face as he glanced at Ford. For a moment, they just looked at each other, then something snapped and the tension rose again. Stan looked away, then continued walking forward muttering over his shoulder, “Come on. Mabel’s not getting her face back with us just standing here.”

Trying to squash the disappointment in his chest, Ford followed. Those days of being a carefree kid were long gone, he was surprised he even remembered them after everything that had happened. But he supposed some feelings you could never truly forget. It didn’t matter now though, that was in the past. The present was what mattered and right now he needed to figure out how in the world he was going to find Mr. What’s His Face.

As he walked into the room, Ford saw Mabel sitting on the couch. She looked normal from where he stood, but then she turned her head and he took a step back in surprise. It was a little unsettling. Granted, he had seen a few other creatures without faces during his first encounter with the face stealing anomaly, but it was different seeing the effect on a member of his family.

“So…you can fix her, right?”

Ford frowned, wracking his brain for any information that could be of use. It had been ages since he had even thought about Mr. What’s His Face, and while he had occasionally used his journals over the past few weeks, he rarely ever reread his old entries – some he avoided all together.

“Well, the good news is, her face is still somewhere. It’s just a matter of finding the creature and getting it back. Which may be challenging. If I remember correctly, it stays hidden, probably in a supernatural black market of sorts that I’ve only heard about. Due to humans not being allowed there.”

Stan crossed his arms and frowned. “Okay, so, how do we get to this so-called black market?”

“I did some research on it, but I could never pin down an entrance. Maybe if I look at my old notes and search around town-” Ford was cut off by something pulling at his coat. No, not something, someone. Mabel, despite not being able to see the surroundings of her body, had made her way over to them and was gesturing to them.

“Uh, sweetie, whacha doing?” Stan asked, crouching down to Mabel’s level as she continued to make motions.

At first, Ford wasn’t quite sure what she was trying to convey, but then he started noticing the patterns. She kept moving her finger over her forehead in the shape of…

“Dipper?”

A quick nod. Then she pointed away from her, in the general direction of the door.

“He went after Mr. What’s His Face?” Ford found himself getting into the zone. When he was younger, he had always been good at nonverbal communication – there were times when he had been able to understand whole ideas from Stan without either of them saying a word. Though some could argue that it was a twin thing.  But then, after exploring many different dimensions, he had found that sometimes gestures were the only way to communicate, and his skill had only increased. He was quite the charade master now, or at least, he liked to think so.

“That’s great and all, but how does that help us?” Stan glanced around the room, though Ford suspected it was more from annoyance than anything else.

“Well, if Mabel can hear us, and if she can give us enough clues…” Ford trailed off, then crouched down next to Stan. “Mabel, do you know where you are?”

Mabel tilted her head, seemingly lost in thought. For a second, she just stood there, then she held up her finger and jumped up before crouching down and pointing at the ground.

“You’re in the basement?” Stan asked quickly, and Ford couldn’t help but think it might be due to the fact that he wanted to be the one to figure out where Mabel was and how to help.

“No, I would’ve seen her, and Mr. What’s His Face. He doesn’t just leave faces lying around after all,” Ford said, frowning as Mabel got down on her hands and knees and pointed down multiple times in a row.

“Why can’t you just call it the Face Snatcher, that sounds so much better,” Stan said, looking in confusion at Mabel as she continued to point down.

Ford opened his mouth, about to defend the terrible old name he had given the creature, when he realized what Mabel was trying to say. “Underground? You’re underground?”

She nodded quickly.

“Oh please tell me it’s not those caverns with the dinosaurs…” Stan mumbled.

“The what-?” Ford shook his head. “Never mind. Underground. I bet…Mabel, does it look like some kind of market? With lots of different anomalies?”

Another fast nod.

“The market…I knew it. Did you happen to see where it entered, or how to get in?” Excitement started growing in Ford’s chest. Despite not thinking about the black market in ages, he couldn’t help but relish the opportunity to actually find it and study it up close. After getting Mabel’s face back of course.

Mabel held up a finger but froze before slumping down a little. Then she shrugged, outlining a door and turning her hand like she was holding a key.

“Ah…I see…”

“You see what? She doesn’t know how she got in, right? Aside from it being a door. And there are a bajillion doors around Gravity Falls.” The annoyance in Stan’s voice was laced with worry and Ford’s frown deepened as he tried to figure out what the next logical step would be. There had to be other ways into the market aside from that one door.

“Mabel, can you remember seeing anything that might have been another entrance?” Ford rubbed his chin, trying to remember all the doors he had experimented with before when trying to find the market. Of course there were the cursed doors, but those were far too dangerous to try. There had to be a safer way in. Or as safe as the supernatural could be.

Mabel tilted her head, shrugging.

“Anything that looked out of place? Or…strange? Anything that reminded you of something you’ve seen in Gravity Falls?”

“This clearly isn’t working, Stanford, there are other ways to find an entrance, right? You have three books on this town!” Stan threw his hands up in the air before crossing them over his chest again.

“I told you, Stan, I’ve never actually found a way into the market before.” Pinching his nose, Ford tried to reason out what to do if Mabel couldn’t help him find an entrance. He had learned quite a few things in the multiverse, maybe he could use some of the bits and pieces he had brought back from other dimensions to make a detector of sorts.

Something tugged at Ford’s coat again and he glanced back at Mabel. “Did you remember something?”

She juggled her hands up and down in a maybe gesture, before using her fingers to make a crescent shape in the air, then she pretended to open a door and squatted down.

“…are you getting anything from that? Because I’m just weirded out.”

Stan was talking, but Ford barely heard him. He was trying to piece together what Mabel was attempting to describe. Then she started reaching and pulling something from the imaginary place, like she was grabbing paper or...

“That’s it!”

Mabel fell down at his shout and Stan jumped back, before frowning. “What’s it?”

“An outhouse, that’s what you saw?” Ford asked, ignoring Stan’s question as he started trying to retrace the steps he had taken over thirty years ago.

Scrambling to her feet, Mabel nodded quickly.

“An outhouse, really?” Stan questioned, raising his eyebrows.

“I studied them years ago, they can be tricky to find and are a little unpredictable, but it’s our best bet.”

----------

Stan didn’t understand what Ford’s plan was, but that was probably because his brother didn’t tell him anything about it. All he knew was that one minute they were trying to communicate with Mabel through charades and the next, Ford was rushing off to the basement.

“Yeah, sure, don’t include me. Not like she’s my great niece too or anything,” Stan mumbled to himself.

Something bumped his leg and he looked down and saw Mabel, who had her hand out like she was feeling for something. Stan was about to ask what she needed, when she wrapped her arms around his legs.

“Hey, don’t worry kiddo,” he said, patting her head. “If Ford’s outhouse thing doesn’t work out, I’ll dig my own entrance to that stupid black market.”

“I got it!”

Looking up, Stan saw Ford holding some sort of gun in his hand.

“What is that?”

“A freeze ray. I acquired it in a tundra dimension, very useful. I’ve been wanting to test it out on some anomalies ever since I got back.” As he spoke, Ford fiddled with the gun, probably checking to make sure it wouldn’t blow up or something.

“Yeah…maybe wait to test it out when Mabel’s face isn’t on the line.” Leave it to Ford to use a possibly dangerous gun at a time like this.

“Nonsense, it will work fine. Come, Mabel.” Ford started rushing towards the door and Stan rolled his eyes.

“She can’t see idiot!” Reaching out, Stan was about to grab Mabel’s hand, when Ford came back in and did just that, rushing off before Stan could register what was going on.

“Hey, wait up!”

“No time!” The front door slammed shut and Stan quickly raced after them, only to see the edge of Mabel’s sweater disappearing into the woods. Shesh, when had Ford gotten so athletic?

“You better bring her back with all of her parts in the right place!”

Sighing, Stan frowned at the woods before reaching behind the couch and grabbing his bat. Just in case. If they weren’t back in thirty minutes, he’d go kick some face stealing butt himself.

----------

“Yes, there it is!” Ford grinned down at Mabel, before remembering that she couldn’t see him. Glancing back at the outhouse, he shuddered, remembering the one time he had entered it and ended up in the desert. But this time would be different, hopefully.

“Alright, you better wait here, I’ll go in and-“

Mabel pulled on his hand then started tracing on her head with her finger again, the same shape as before.

“Dipper?”

She nodded, then pointed into the woods.

“He’s in the woods?”

A quick shake of the head, then pointing down again.

“He’s in the market with you?” Adrenaline pulsed through Ford’s veins as he wondered what they might be experiencing down there, and wishing he was with them.

At Mabel’s nod, Ford grinned, only for it to fall as Mabel quickly pulled on his coat again, hopping on her feet, which made a knot of anxiety grow in his chest.

“You’re in danger?”

Another nod.

Ford wracked his brain, a plan slowly starting to form in his mind. “Mabel, can you lead Dipper to the outhouse down there?”

She gave him a thumbs up, and he nodded, despite her not being able to see him. “Just tell me when you enter.”

A few seconds passed, then Mabel started flailing and Ford readied his gun.

One...two...the door flew open. Dipper and a blonde-haired girl bolted out, followed by the Face Snatcher.

“Prepare to be destroy-” It started saying, but Ford pulled the trigger and just like that, it was frozen.

[nyroom]

The Ghosts of Childhood - Chapter 2

The Pines family adapts to this new change with mixed results. 

[AO3 Link] [Part 1]

All things considered, Stan took the news remarkably well. 

“So you’re sayin’ something came around and turned me into a kid?” He had echoed, scrunching up his face in thought for a moment. “Eh. I guess it could be worse.” 

To be fair, Ford had kept it simple and brief. There was no sense in telling Stan the reason he had gone out in the first place, just as there’d be no sense in explaining every shred of bitterness that had built up over the years. Stan was old, went out, and then wasn’t anymore. Anyone could understand. 

“And we’re your great-niece and nephew!” Mabel piped up, grabbing her brother in a side hug. “Your favourite great-niece and nephew, by the way.”

Ford almost corrected her that they were their only great-niece and nephew (unless there were more descendants of Shermy? Ford would need to investigate that once he was settled), but bit his tongue. For once, it wasn’t the time to play perfectionist. 

“Great-niece and nephew, eh?” Stan tapped his chin, a slow grin spreading across his face. “So that makes me the boss of you!” 

“Well, you’re younger than us right now.” Dipper corrected, straightening out his clothes from his sister’s hug/chokehold. From what Ford could tell, Mabel didn’t do her hugs by half measures.

Stan ignored this point, nodding to himself. “I’m the boss of people… Cool!” 

“Let’s not forget who the older twin is here, technically and literally.” Ford cut in next, shooting his brother a stern look. “So I’m the one in charge right now.” 

That made Stan deflate a little, crossing his arms and huffing defiantly. “Only by fifteen minutes!” He shot back, but kept it at that. For as stubborn as Stan was, that was certainly remarkable. Maybe now that they were farther apart in age, he would finally listen to Ford. 

Ha.

The annoyance passed quickly, Stan’s face brightening with realization. “So if Sixer’s an old man, then I’m an old man too, right?” He immediately rounded on Ford, leaning forward excitedly. “Did we fix the Stan O’War and go treasure hunting?”

Ford’s mouth shut with an audible clack. He had already told himself he wasn’t going to bring up the years of bitterness, but how was he supposed to answer that question without lying? ‘For unspecific reasons, we actually haven’t spoken in 40 years.’ That would never work.

He may be upset with Stanley right now, but he couldn’t bring himself to crush this child’s innocent naivety.  

“You run a business!” Mabel volunteered, saving Ford from having to answer. He wondered if she did that intentionally or not. “And you do have some employees, so you’re basically still a boss anyways!”

Stan’s eyes widened with wonder, childhood dream momentarily forgotten. “No foolin’? Wow! I bet Pa was real proud of me!” 

And here Ford thought it was impossible for this to get worse. 

The excitement in Stan’s expression crumbled a little at his audience’s stony faces, uncertainty creeping back into his features. He looked right at Ford, searching. “...He was proud of me, right? Stanford?”

The scene was so heart-wrenchingly familiar that, for a second, Ford wasn’t an old man with the threat of the world on his shoulders. He was a child, just like Stan, standing in a cave, hiding in a theme park attraction. His twin was so open and vulnerable, looking at Ford like he had all the answers in the world, pleading to tell him he was wrong. 

‘Do you really think I’m a bad kid?’

‘It just sometimes feels like Pa hates me.’

‘Do you know what it’s like being the stupid twin?’

‘I wish just once Pa would look at me the way he looks at you. Like he actually likes me.’

Truth be told, Ford had spent so long trying to bury Stan in his memories that he had forgotten all about his twin’s insecurities. His stomach twisted at the reminder. How long ago had those memories happened for Stan? How long had he felt like that in general? Probably longer than you’d care to admit.

Ford hadn’t wanted to lie to Stan if he could help it. Lies had never been Ford’s strong suit, not like they were Stan’s. Lies were liabilities, a misstep waiting to happen. They were messy and risky and something Ford would rather avoid altogether. Yet looking into Stan’s eyes, he knew he had no choice.

“Not just proud, Stanley. He was impressed.” He said, and his voice didn’t even shake. “You really beat him at his own game.” 

If at all possible, Stan looked even more starstruck than before. He looked back in the direction of the Gift Shop, blinking hard. Ford didn’t need to see his brother’s eyes to know they were damp.

It’s just a white lie. He told himself when Stan turned back to him with a thousand-watt smile. There’s no harm in a white lie or two. When Stan is back to his proper age, he’ll understand.

After that, the questions came at Ford rapid-fire. Really, he should have expected as much.

“So did we really go treasure hunting after all?”

“Yes.”

“Did we find lots of treasure and get all the girls?”

“Yes.”

“Did I open the business before or after we went sailing?”

“After.”

“Where’s all the treasure now?”

“Hidden away to protect it from pirates.” 

“What about the Stan O’War?”

“In a museum. We are world-famous adventurers, after all.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the younger twins exchanging a grimace and pretended he didn’t notice. The children just didn’t understand. It was easier to do things this way. If Stan knew the harsh reality their lives had taken, he may not be so quick to trust Ford and allow him to reverse whatever had done this to him in the first place. Stan didn’t have the emotional capability to handle the truth. This was for his own good.

He also pretended that the giddy smile Stan wore didn’t warm something within him, buried after so many years. 

Just because Stan is this way right now doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven him. I’m still justified to feel angry with him. When he’s his proper age, we’re going to have a very long discussion. 

“I told you it’d happen!” Stan proudly declared, reaching across the table to affectionately punch Ford in the arm. Ford pointedly ignored the memory of the last time Stan had punched him 30 years ago. 

Before Stan could launch into more questions, Dipper awkwardly cleared his throat. “Hey, uh, Great Uncle Ford? Do you think we could have some dinner?”

Right, Ford should have realized. Stan had left around midday and, apparently, hadn’t been back until just now. The children must be starving. That realization was followed by another, more daunting one: Ford would have to cook for them. 

Ford hadn’t cooked for anyone since he lived with Fiddleford, and even then that had been sparingly. Fiddleford had dubbed him a “fire hazard” when he accidentally added vinegar instead of pasta sauce; a clear overreaction. It wasn’t like he had done it intentionally, he had just been sleep-deprived! It could happen to anyone! 

“Of course, Dipper.” He responded, spite burgeoning him with confidence. He could cook just fine, thank you very much, Fiddleford. “You’re actually in luck, I was in the middle of cooking for myself when you all arrived. It shouldn’t be too much to whip up a bit extra.”

If he could survive the multiverse for 30 years, he could handle cooking for 3 children. It was just cooking more, after all. It wasn’t rocket science. What could go wrong? 

----------------------

Evidently, a lot could go wrong. 

As it turned out, leaving food unattended in this house was a bad idea. Apparently, a pig - Mabel’s pet Waddles, Ford learned later - had taken the opportunity to indulge in the unguarded delicacies and left nothing to salvage when Ford returned. Never one to accept a setback, he had merely taken it as a sign that he needed to make something a bit more extravagant than plain old eggs for a family dinner.

After liberally covering the kitchen in food matter, utensils, and soot from a spontaneous fire, the family had made the decision to give the kitchen a much-needed break. This was what had lead to them piling into Greasy’s Diner, tucked into a booth near the end of the restaurant. Mabel tried to assure him that Stan had done much, much worse in the beginning. Ford got the impression she was just saying that to make him feel better.

Truth be told, the idea of being in town set Ford’s teeth on edge. While the Rift may be contained, it was in no way safe. Until Bill was defeated once and for all, he would never stop trying to get it. This made every citizen not only a target, but a suspect as well. They couldn’t afford to trust anyone. 

Ford had almost turned the idea down when it was suggested, but a look at the kitchen reminded him that he wouldn’t be able to provide the proper meal growing children needed. Instead, he settled on lecturing them at length about keeping on guard, making sure to keep it specific enough to dissuade questions and vague enough not to keep Bill’s name out of their mouths.  Worryingly, the children barely seemed fazed. 

Now, sitting in the diner as the group looked over the menu, Ford was struck with another troubling realization. While people were going to address him by his actual name, they were still going to think he was his brother. With Stanley right there, he couldn’t very well correct them, either. Not only that, but he’d need to think of a good excuse for why “Mr. Pines” suddenly had another child. 

Frustration surged through him at the thought and he found himself remembering the resentment he felt earlier today. Damnit Stanley, why do you need to make everything so hard?

Before Ford could entertain that thought further, he caught sight of an older woman in waitressing attire approaching their table. She had a lazy eye, but the eye that remained open was a perfectly boring hazel. Not Bill. Ford could relax a little.

“Stan!” She greeted, smiling brightly at him. “Did you get dressed up just for me?” 

Ford looked down at his clothes and inwardly cursed. If he had had the forethought, he would have taken the time to dress like Stan to compl-- wait a second. 

As he finished processing the woman’s words, he felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment. Of all the people in Stan’s life that Ford could have met first, why did it have to be someone he had been or was currently romantically involved with? He could barely woo his own partners when he bothered with romance, let alone his estranged twin’s. 

Luckily (or unluckily, in hindsight) for Ford, the woman soon shifted her attention to Stan and brightened even more. “And who’s this cutiepie?” Damnit, Ford hadn’t thought up a decent cover story for the town yet.

“My name’s Stanley!” Stan chirped, puffing out his chest at the compliment. He had always been more receptive to people’s praise, soaking it up like a sponge while Ford shied away from it. Ford supposed it was natural, considering how they were raised. 

 “He’s our younger brother who just got back from a trip to New Jersey!” Dipper cut in quickly, drawing the attention of four sets of confused eyes. He seemed to quail a little under the scrutiny, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uhh… Our parents decided to just send him here too.” 

There was a moment of silence, but only for a moment before Stan answered confidently, “Sure am! I can’t let my big siblings hog all the fun of camping up here.” Ford had forgotten how honed his brother’s lying was, even at such a young age. He hadn’t even stuttered. 

The waitress laughed and, thankfully, took their orders without pressing the issue further. Once she was gone, he smiled gratefully at Dipper. “Nice thinking, Dipper. Great work.” 

The boy flushed at the praise, eyes darting down to the menu as the hand rubbing his neck increased in pace. “Oh, uh! It was nothing… I just figured we probably should keep this under wraps until we get Stan back to normal.” 

Stan nodded his agreement, much more cooperative than Ford thought he’d be. “Makes sense to me, but won’t people wonder where I am? I mean, if I’m a world-famous adventurer and successful business guy an’ all…”

Right then. It would probably be best to get their stories straight before anyone else happened by. Though Ford wasn’t much good at this lying business, he knew the logic behind it. If they were all in agreement, that lessened the chances of conflicting lies, which lessened the chance of confrontation. Confrontation was certainly not something Ford’s skittish heart needed right now. 

“Simple: you’re an adventurer. Though the lull of running a business was a nice reprieve, the calls of the sea were not so easy to dismiss. You set out in search of wonder and new exhibits for your business, ready to fight any who opposed you.” 

Ford expected Stan’s eyes to light up at the very idea. It played into his dream quite handily, harkening back to days spent weaving tales on the beach. He even pitched his voice dramatically for the effect. Instead, Ford was met with a stormy expression, Stan’s lips pressed into a thin line. Ford didn’t understand. 

“An adventure without you sounds like a pretty dumb adventure,” Stan grumbled, picking at the edge of his menu. He refused to meet Ford’s eyes. “Are people really gonna buy that?”

Of course. Sailing away hadn’t just been Stan’s dream, it had been Ford’s once as well. Wherever we go, we go together. He swallowed uncomfortably. 

“Well, of course they will.” Ford reasoned, wracking his brain for a believable lie. “One of us needed to stay back and keep running the Mystery Shack. No good business can just close down, you know.” 

Stan’s scowl deepened, unconvinced and stubborn as ever. Ford found himself sighing in response. “It’s just a lie, Stanley. It doesn’t need to be realistic.”

“If anyone can make something unbelievable believable, it’s you Grunkle Stan.” Mabel pointed out, smiling. “And this time, it’s for a good cause!” 

Stan’s expression wavered at that. “I guess so. And it’s not like it’s gonna last forever…” He nodded to himself, tension easing. “It can’t be any harder than that time I convinced Mr. Carter that I ate roasted seagull for lunch every day. The look on his face was priceless!” 

The air at the table lightened some as Stan began to re-tell tales from their youth. Another forgotten aspect of his brother’s personality came to surface as he watched him, gesturing and speaking with the flair of a showman. Truly, Stan had a knack for public speaking. Ford wondered what else he had forcibly repressed about his brother. 

He might have been able to make something of himself if he wasn’t so insistent on suffocating me. A dark voice murmured in his mind. Ford dismissed it, forcing himself to focus on the present. There would be time to stew in bitter thoughts later. 

Though the children were listening with rapt attention, they were not content to play captive audiences for long. As their food arrived and the group dug in, they repaid Stan with stories of their own from their summer in Gravity Falls. It didn’t escape Ford that plenty of their tales centred around anomalies that he had recorded in his journal, nor did he miss the side glances Dipper cast his way anytime one was brought up. 

He thought back to the first time he had opened his third journal upon his return, flipping through the carefully scrawled blue words. The twins - Dipper mostly, judging on the writing - had certainly been busy this summer. The solutions they posited seemed so obvious when spelled out, how hadn’t he thought of it? 

Stan had been firm in keeping Ford away from the children for their own safety. At first, he could see the logic behind that assertion. While Gravity Falls was a wonderfully weird place, it was also dangerous to those who were unprepared. Yet the more Ford read the journal, the more capable the children became in his eyes. Hearing the stories firsthand merely solidified the notion in his mind. Stan was just being overprotective. 

If they were going to turn Stan back to his proper age, then he was going to need to work with the children, deal be damned. If he happened to get closer to and bond with them along the way, then that was just a logical and inescapable outcome. Stan couldn’t fault him for that, not when it was for his own good. 

Besides, these children were his family too. Stan had no right to hold them hostage from him. 

---------------------------------------------

The past few hours had been such a whirlwind, Stanley was having trouble processing. To start the day on the beach and finish it in a small town smack dab in the middle of a forest? It didn’t feel real. More than once, Stan would dig his fingernails into his arm when he felt like no one was paying attention, just to see if he was dreaming after all. No luck. 

Don’t get him wrong, he was interested in this new life he seemed to have made for himself! His great-niece and nephew seemed really nice (even if it was weird to think that kids around his age were actually younger than him?), and the fact he was a businessman now was an unexpected delight. But it just wasn’t the same without Ford here by his side to experience it with him. 

Ford may be around, but he wasn’t really around. He was older and wiser and sure, he was still the same old Pointdexter, but it just wasn’t the same. Experiencing this sudden environment shift on his own, after doing everything with his twin before, was a change Stan wasn’t ready to face. Beneath the bravado and excitement, Stan couldn’t stop himself from feeling terribly anxious. 

Riding in the backseat of an admittedly neat looking car (“It’s your car, Grunkle Stan!”), wedged between unfamiliar family, Stan could feel those anxieties creeping back up to the forefront once more. He had been to the woods before on a school trip, but never at night. The trees looming through the windows looked dark and foreboding without the sun, like they could swallow you up and no one would hear from you again. He had to resist the urge to shrink back into Dipper’s side. 

Ugh, what kind of wimp was he? Pa would likely scold him if he knew. ‘Belt up, boy. A Pines man doesn’t hide from danger.’ Of course, that thought just made him homesick. What he wouldn’t give to tuck himself into Ma’s arms right about now. 

But Pa was right. He was a Pines man, and a Pines man didn’t hide. He pointedly squashed down his fears and, instead, asked about the pig Mabel had called Waddles. The girl lit up with a dazzling smile and spoke at length about how wonderful he was, showing him picture after picture that she had saved in the pockets of her sweater. Dipper assured him this was only a fraction of the pictures she had, the rest having found a home in her scrapbook. Stan believed him.

Maybe Stan didn’t have Ford here to face this unknown situation with, but Dipper and Mabel made good company. Though he wouldn’t trade Ford for the world, it was nice to have other people to call friends for once. He closed his eyes as he listened to the two talk, allowing himself to be soothed by their voices. 

If they and Ford weren’t afraid right now, then he had no reason to be either.

He hadn’t realized he had dozed off until he heard the sounds of car doors opening. He opened his eyes, blinking blearily and scrambling to get out of the car. Looks like they were back at the Mystery Shack (his business, wasn’t that so neat?). Man, how long had he been out? Hopefully, the others hadn’t noticed.

As they made their way into the house - coming in through a different door this time, though Stan guessed that wasn’t really important - Ford clapped his hands together. “Alright then, Stanley. Let’s get you situated and off to bed.”

Darn. He must have noticed.

“What? But it’s only -” Stan paused, looking over at the clock on the wall “- 8! It’s not even close to bedtime, and I’m not even tired!”

Ford shot him a stern look, looking much more like Pa than Ford. Stan felt himself instinctually straighten. “Let’s say, for the sake of argument, I believe that you aren’t tired. That doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been through quite an ordeal, mentally and physically. Your body and mind need time to recharge. You don’t want to get sick, do you?”

As usual, Ford was making a good point. That didn’t stop Stan from crossing his arms and scuffing the floor with his shoe, most assuredly not pouting. Stan didn’t pout. Pouting was for babies. 

Apparently satisfied with Stan’s silence, Ford turned his attention to the other two. “While I’m attending to that, do you two mind fetching me my remaining two journals? They should be down in the lab.” 

Dipper’s eyes widened at Ford’s request, looking like a kid on Christmas. Were Ford’s nerd scribbles really that interesting? “O-Okay!” He stammered out before turning on his heel, racing out of the room. Mabel was hot on his heels, calling after him to slow down and wait for her. 

Stan watched the two until they disappeared down the hall. “Journals, huh? Isn’t that kinda like a diary?” He asked, turning to where Ford was standing. Keyword: was. Turns out, his brother was already halfway up the stairs. Looks like he had decided to take a leaf out of Dipper’s book. Stan frowned at that and hastened to follow.

Ford stayed quiet as they journeyed through the house, scarcely seeming to notice that Stan was following at all. He looked lost in thought, which Stan supposed wasn’t all that out of place. Ford was usually thinking about something, and sometimes he’d get so lost in that big brain of his that he stopped noticing his surroundings. Usually, that only happened when he was faced with a really hard problem. 

Maybe Stan’s situation was hard too? It seemed hard to Stan, but Stan was never all that bright to begin with. For Ford’s sake, he stayed quiet too.

Eventually, the pair stopped outside a door. Luckily, Ford seemed to snap out of whatever daze he had been in. “Ah, yes, here we are,” He said, opening the door and gesturing inside. “This is your room. You can sleep here while I work on getting you back to normal.”

The first thing that Stan noticed was that it was dark. Maybe it was just because the lights were off, but the dark felt different somehow; suffocating, almost. The curtains on the window were drawn tight, preventing any moonlight from brightening the room. The light that did spill in from the hallway illuminated the dusty air and the general state of disarray the room was in. 

If Stan had to describe it, it seemed sad. Was this really the room he slept in as an adult?

Ford continued talking, sounding way too casual after revealing such a dim place. “Now I doubt you have any children clothes here, but I don’t anticipate Dipper having an issue with you borrowing some of his. If everything goes well, I should have you back to normal in a few days, so it won’t be an issue for long. The children sleep in the attic and I’ll be sleeping in the room down the hall, so we won’t be far if you need anyth--”

“Wait.” Stan cut in, realization dawning. No wonder there’s only one bed. “You’re not sleeping with me?”  

He turned to look straight up at Ford, watching as his brother’s eyes immediately looked off to the side. He had that sad look on his face again, a look that Stan was starting to realize showed up quite frequently now. It made him wonder if he was the one causing that look. 

“No, Stanley.” He eventually said, reaching up to push his glasses further up his face. It was a nervous habit, one Stan could easily recognize. “We haven’t slept in the same room for a very long time. Adults need their own space.” 

Stan wanted to argue that. Ma and Pa shared a room - heck, they shared a bed! - why couldn’t he and Ford? Yet taking another look at his brother, Stan once again remembered that this Ford wasn’t really his. This Ford was basically a stranger to him, and Stan hated it. Sharing a room would probably just make the strangeness even more apparent.

It was Stan’s turn to avoid eye contact, staring into the room instead. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ford’s features softening a little. Soon enough, the familiar six-fingered weight was settling on Stan’s shoulder. The fingers were bigger and rougher now, but the gesture was still the same. It felt like Ford was drawing out the tension through touch alone. 

“I know it’s new and frightening, but I promise you’ll get used to it.” He said, stooping down so he was level with Stan. His lips twitched up into a slight smile. “As I said, I’m not far away, okay? If something happens, you can still come to me. Just because we don’t share a room anymore doesn’t mean I won’t be there for you.” 

Of course, what was he thinking? Ford might be old and strange right now, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still his brother. He really shouldn’t be expecting so little of him. Just because he was sleeping here alone didn’t mean Ford didn’t have his back. 

It’s just temporary. The room is weird but you can do this. You’ve taken on worse. 

Stan took a breath and let the weight on his shoulder strengthen him. It was hard to feel afraid when he had someone at his side and a slow, shy smile spread across his face. He turned to face his twin, holding up his hand in mutual solidarity. No matter how many years separated them now, surely this was universal. This couldn’t be tainted by the strangeness. 

“High-six?” 

Instead of immediately raising his hand and completing the gesture, Ford just stared blankly at it. One moment passed, then another, and Stan’s smile began to flicker. Ford had that look in his eye again, that sad, far-away look. Stan decided he hated it more than he hated the room. 

Subconscious now, Stan lowered his hand. Maybe he had been wrong after all. Stan couldn’t imagine it; in what reality could he achieve his dream while everything he shared with his brother was suddenly different? Was it just inevitable? 

“I-I’m sorry, Stanley.” Ford finally stammered, removing his hand from his shoulder to card anxiously through his hair. “It’s been… A trying day for me, too. I hope you can understand.”

Stanley didn’t, not entirely. 

Maybe… Things were just different because Ford had lost someone, too. Maybe he felt this same strangeness in reverse, looking for the adult version of his missing half. Stan didn’t really know how he’d feel in Ford’s shoes, so it seemed probable to him.

Either way, he put on a smile and reached over to put a hand on Ford’s shoulder too. His hand was much smaller and probably lacked the same satisfying, grounding weight to it, but he hoped it helped anyways. “Course I do, Pointdexter,” He lied. “But it’s okay. We can be here for each other, just like always.” 

Ford inhaled softly at the touch, but didn’t immediately move away. Stan took that as a good sign and remained there, allowing the silence to stretch for as long as Ford needed it. 

The moment passed soon after and Ford straightened once more, letting Stan’s hand fall away. Stan understood; Pines men didn’t just sit there and whimper. If you had time to cry, you had time to fight. That was what Pa had always said. 

Feeling lighter, Stan dutifully crawled into the too-big bed without any further complaint. For the time being, he didn’t even notice the heaviness. Now that he was really laying down, the exhaustion that he had been fighting since the diner was returning with a vengeance. He had just enough energy to turn onto his side, looking at where Ford stood in the doorway. 

“G’night, Ford.” He murmured, eyes already closing. 

Whatever Ford’s response was, if there was any at all, fell on deaf ears. Stan was fast asleep before he knew what hit him. 

--------------------------

Far away from the odd little family, in a dimension nothing like theirs, a being contemplates the scene he has just witnessed. The little display was disgustingly saccharine, almost making him sick to his proverbial stomach.

Still, the advantage that had just been handed to him was well worth enduring that little sob fest. He leans away from his handy eavesdropping orb, hands clasped at his back. 

“And here I thought my conquest was going to be difficult.” He thought aloud, unable to stop himself from cackling. After enduring those embarrassing defeats at the hands of those meddlesome twins, this break was exactly what he was looking for. 

It was time to exploit that six-fingered freak’s kryptonite: Stanley Pines. 

[halorocks1214]

the law of action

AO3 Link

Word Count: 10100

Summary: The Law of Action must be applied in order for us to manifest things on earth. Therefore, we must engage in actions that support our thoughts, dreams, emotions, and words

Previous Parts (in order): Alan | You are here! | Virgil | Scott | Gordon

these just keep getting longer fellas i dont understand how thats possible but it is. ALSO: REMEMBER IN ATTRACTION WHEN I MENTIONED THAT THESE WERE BEING WRITTEN OUT OF ORDER. HA, UH, KIND OF AN UNDERSTATEMENT I GUESS. but its here! johns pov chapter! im pretty satisfied with it, albeit a few kinks i wasnt really able to work out, so i hope you enjoy it too!

thanks again to @gumnut-logic for the prompts! "Where?" and lightning were this fic's choices. sad to see the last ones go away, but this was still a blast so thank you once more! also, just because the prompts are gone doesnt mean this series will be too ;3

Anger was a rare emotion for John Tracy.

It had to be. When dealing with the cold hard truth of data telling them something wasn't possible or dealing with annoying people who thought they knew better than him or dealing with people panicking in his ear because nobody expected the aftershock of an earthquake to be that bad, he didn’t have a choice. There were a lot of deals in life that had to be made and someone needed to play peacemaker, even if it wasn’t deserved.

It was true that he got the least angry out of his siblings, even compared to Virgil. Virgil might not get necessarily violent like Scott did, or threw caution to the wind like Gordon, or, hell, pulled off whatever John does when someone somehow manages puts him in a bad mood, but Virgil did get angry quite a lot. He just didn’t have as many blatant ways of showing it. John, on the other hand, didn’t have a lot of ticks. Pet peeves, definitely, John was no stranger to annoyance (especially with siblings like his), but not outright anger.

That didn’t mean he never got angry. He was Tracy born and bred, so that meant one the few ticks he did have surrounded the topic of family.

Specifically, his family being threatened.

John wished he was the youngest sometimes. That meant he could say things like let Scott punch the idiot already, he’d be doing the world a favor, and not get lambasted for the immature response. It also meant he could throw tantrums to hell and back and not feel like a total loser.

Like right now for example.

“EOS, I swear, if you don’t open the elevator door for me--”

“No, I won’t.”

Unbelievable.

Groaning and rubbing his face, his hands found their way up to his forehead and through his hair, holding his bangs out of his eyes for a moment. His eyes had many emotions in them, the most blatant being this shit cannot be happening right now, “EOS, do you know you’re amazing? I don’t think I’ve said that enough.”

EOS whirled for a moment, “John, I’ve seen that grin on Gordon. I cannot believe you would stoop that low.”

The grin she pointed out fell flat off his face, “Yeah, okay, you’re right about that--”

“Like I always am.”

“--So thank you,” John was going to strangle whoever defined sass so thoroughly in the dictionary. It left a bad example, “For the reminder, but seriously, I need to get up to ‘Five. It’s… important.”

It’s been a week since Alan was taken.

They’ve exhausted all options.

The only thing that could possibly get him back to them had to be International Rescue’s resources.

But EOS over here wasn’t getting the memo. Her words had that hint of childish innocence behind it. In that way that said there was no innocence whatsoever and she knew exactly what she was doing, the little shit, “John, do you really need to, or do you want to?”

There’s the inflection that John taught her. An inhale through the nose and… Uuuugghh, “EOS, I know the difference between needs and wants, this is definitely a need.”

Another lens blink, another moment of disbelief, “It seems like you have a lot of needs, John Tracy.”

John grimaced and ground his jaw together, mumbling his grievances with the current situation, “Yeah, well, if there’s any trait I truly share with my siblings, it’s that we’re all high maintenance.” His next words were more clear and designed to get the point across, “EOS, I’m not kidding, unlock the door.”

EOS stood her ground, “John, you going up there is one of the most detrimental things to you’re health at the current moment. I won’t let you.”

John threw his hands into the air, “EOS, there’s are whole lotta things that are currently detrimental to my health currently happening, one more thing won’t hurt.”

EOS lens shuttered again and John felt like it was nails on a chalkboard, “You have a point, but I’ve seen you with Scott when he’s in a similar mood. Don’t you tell him he needs to take a moment and think when he gets like this?”

John groaned as quietly as possible. Not too loud, but loud enough that EOS hopefully got the point, “Yes, I do, but I’m not Scott. We are two very different people, you have pointed this out numerous times. We have different ways of handling things, this, and ‘Five is exactly how I can fix this problem.”

That was not how he should’ve worded that. Her lights flickered in sympathy, sympathy, and he knew she finally figured out what John was trying to get at, “John, there may still be a lot I have to learn, but at least I understand--”

“No, EOS!” John snapped before he could help himself. Before she could finish explaining her point of view that was most likely right, but his desperate brain didn’t want to hear it. His brain that was running on zero energy telling him this was taking too long, fix that, “You can’t understand!”

Just like that, John was reminded of why he hated getting angry.

As soon as the words left his mouth, so did the air in his lungs. Through sheer will and determination, the only thing that didn’t leave his body was the little amounts of food he ate over the past seven days, though it really wanted to. He became very pale, and EOS could detect the not-so-trace amounts of fear that fell over his eyes.

Dammit, you idiot. Months upon that past year of work were now going to go down the drain because you blew your lid just this once! First, the call with Alan, now telling the one thing that could kill you in your sleep she’ll never essentially be good enough was--

“I know, John.”

His food came back with a vengeance, but he was bullheaded as hell, and he already caused enough damage. The last thing anyone needed was to clean up vomit. It would’ve been nicer if she got angry at him. He could handle being thrown out into space. He couldn’t handle EOS admitting he was right, least of all over blatantly cruel words.

He channeled the energy his stomach wanted to use into weak words, “E-EOS, I…” What the hell was he supposed to say? Sorry surely wasn’t going to fucking cut it.

Well, whatever he wanted to cut didn’t come up, as EOS continued as if John wasn’t the worst thing on the planet, “I���ve been doing some reading. I understand that I’ll never really understand certain human-based things like you do. You, humans, have gotten close, me being one of the better examples, as long as that’s not considered bragging, but even I’m not at that level yet. But I do at least know you and your habits. I put up with them on a daily basis.”

Because if there’s anything else John needed to fail this week, it was the one promise he made to her. His promise to keep her safe, to make sure she wasn’t treated like a mindless robot by some crazy scientists ready and willing to cut her circuitry wide open like a middle-school science project. While he would never even get close to being a quote-on-quote crazy scientist, never in a million light-years, he surely didn’t follow that middle part of his promise, “EOS, listen, I--”

“Please, John,” and now she was pleading, thinking he was going to ask to use the elevator again. Thinking he wasn’t going to give up, even after all of that. John might’ve laughed if it wasn’t his fucking fault, “I’ll help look for more options if it means you’ll stay here for a little while longer. You should stay with your family. I know how they affect you in those positive ways that you currently need.”

John was abruptly aware of his heavy, almost wheeze-like breathing. If he wasn’t careful, it could delve into one whopper panic attack, which would be so great right now, “Y-Yeah, okay. They probably won’t understand the effects of gravity over an elongated period of time like I do, so I can stay and help with that, at least. Thank you.”

As John turned around, he heard EOS whisper to herself. He could blearily tell it was actually fondness that filled her vocal waves for once, but it still stung regardless, “Idiot.”

Yeah, he really was, wasn’t he.

As he helped look over his Dad’s med-scan with Virgil, when Virgil went looking for something on the other side of the room, his father whispered, “I know this is a bad question right about now, but, is there anything we can do for you? Maybe even I? You look dead on your feet.”

John could only reply to the first half of his father’s statement with a meek, “I don’t know anymore.”

---

16-year-old John Tracy was seated atop his roof, making sure he got the perfect view of the Big-Dipper.

He was hoping to spot a more exciting constellation when he first used his new telescope, but dangit! He was just so excited to get cracking right away! He just got back from his birthday party, Alan and Gordon snoozing in their rooms while Scott and Virgil secretly finished off the cake. That was okay. John was too busy focusing on his new expensive toy to worry about having any more sweets.

His dad could pull some strings when it counted.

Newest model. The only other people who have this baby are scientists at NASA. Happy birthday, John. Sorry I didn’t get you a car like Scott.

Fuck cool cars. John would be on cloud 9 for days with this thing. Scott would call him a nerd for it. Jokes on Scott, he couldn’t zoom about 10 thousand miles into space now, could he?

Right as he nailed it, the world shook. Large arms snaked around his waist and he involuntarily found himself giggling at the contact. As soon as those limbs let go, he blushed at his reaction and cleared his throat. Suddenly, the arms were an entire body sitting down right next to him, speaking with their ever-comforting burly voice, “Hiya, son, I see you just couldn’t wait, huh?”

Rolling his eyes, John turned back into his serious, analytical self once more, “Yup, this thing’s crazy. I’m glad I got out here as quickly as I did.”

Jeff simply grinned. John was always reserved, but Jeff was a good translator for all of his sons, and he could tell that John meant this is one of the best things in my life holy crap, “That’s great to hear. The look on your face when I brought this out of the closet was certainly good enough to last me a few lifetimes.”

John snorted, “I bet it was. I heard Gordon joking about it with Alan. I don’t think I need to see any pictures anymore. I have a pretty good mental image of what I looked like.”

Jeff smiled and sighed, “No kidding. “Like a goldfish with a broken jaw.” Not the most eloquent, that Gordon is.”

Laughter rang out throughout the roof, followed by a few moments of silence. Not awkward, but not really welcomed on John’s part either, “Do you…” Stop it, John, you’re asking for too much, “Nevermind, it’s dumb.”

Jeff tilted an eyebrow, “Oh, is it? I guess you would know if something were smart or dumb, so I trust your judgment.”

Dangit, Dad, why are you so manipulative, and why are you so good at it, “I don’t know. I’ve established I wanted to be an astronaut, right?”

Jeff nodded, “Mmhmm.”

John, for some reason, felt like he needed to tread carefully, “You are also an astronaut. If there was any way for you to be able to… could you… could you come up with me the first time?”

Jeff blinked in shock, and before his son could register that as disapproval, “Huh, well, that’s certainly wasn’t what I was expecting. Sure, I don’t see why not.”

Now it was John’s turn to blink, his mouth gaped, “Wait, what? Are you serious? Aren’t there rules for this kind of stuff?”

Jeff shrugged, his shoulders clearly saying rules shmules, “I’m also one of the biggest entrepreneurs on the planet itself, and one of the most renowned ex-astronauts there are. You would not believe the lengths people are willing to go to kiss my ass. Would you feel better if I pinky promised?”

John’s nose scrunched, “You can never truly promise anything, you know.”

His father chuckled, used to his son’s antics. John was reserved, remember, “Well, you boys always credited me with doing the impossible.”

John continued challenging him, “When we were all less than 10, yeah, sure. I think Alan still thinks you can breathe in space. You. Specifically. No one else. I think he said you only wore the helmet to “protect your secret so the evil movie scientists don’t take you away.””

Chuckles turned into laughter and a clap on John’s shoulder, “Well, glad to see I still got the magic touch at least.” That same arm that playfully smacked him was now wrapped around his shoulders, “Just you wait, Johnny boy, if I can’t get on that ship with you, then you bet your ass I’ll at least be the loudest one cheering in the crowd.”

Then, suddenly, John was right, like he always was.

A promise that never should have been made: broken. A wish never fulfilled.

Dad was swallowed up by the very thing John loved.

No more space stories, no more fun moon facts, there was a void in John’s life as big as the galaxy itself, and he wasn’t sure how to walk around it, or God forbid even into it.

He tried to be the healthy sibling about it. He tried so hard. Getting through high school quicker than most so he could just worry about his family. Scott and Grandma were doing their best, and in so many ways, it was enough, but even they couldn’t bear all of the stress themselves.

But then his high school graduation came and Grandma gave him one of the biggest hugs of his and her life and he realized that he would never get one from his father again. His mom leaving this world was already bad enough, but at least his dad was there and knew how to fill in the gap after years and years of his marriage with her. You didn’t marry a woman like Lucille Tracy and not fundamentally understand how the gears in her brain turned lest you were truly insane. Maybe Dad was. Certainly would explain a lot of things from John’s perspective. Certainly would explain why she married him in the first place. Crazy attracts crazy.

Regardless, the one thing closest to his mom’s warmth and care was gone, and if he spent the night of his graduation party quietly sobbing his eyes out while the others slept, well, then he was glad they kept snoring.

Try as he might, he became just as unhealthy and unbalanced as the rest of his family, but he was more subtle about it. His self-destructive ways weren’t bad if other people had them, but when it came to him, oh, he knew it was the worst thing he could do in terms of recovery. That’s probably why the rest of the family didn’t notice (Good). John was smart, he would know better. Yes, he did, which is exactly why he dived headfirst right into it all.

Focusing on college, getting up into the star-filled void closer to his dead relatives as quickly as possible, focusing on the here-and-now to make sure this shit didn’t happen again. Making sure no family went through what theirs did.

And maybe that’s why, why he couldn’t handle the touch of others wanting to comfort him. Because it reminded him too much of what they used to have, of what they used to be. Too many hugs and kisses from others might wash away what his mom’s and dad’s felt like, and out of all the things they could potentially lose from this, those were the worst possible ones.

John was a Tracy, which meant he was stubborn.

He wasn’t going to lose the last few things he remembered about his parents if he could help it.

---

It had been just under a month, and John finally got what he wanted.

And it wasn’t working like he thought it would, if at all.

He’s been on ‘Five for three days, and for just a fleeting moment, it washed away any uncertainty. He felt back in control, if only minorly, and he held the world at his fingertips once more. Too bad the world he wanted to fix was so far away it felt like it was on the other side of the frickin solar system itself.

He promised his family four days at most. Please, just one chance. We won’t know unless we try. He wasn’t sure what cracked them first, them coming upon dead end after dead end, them finally seeing reason behind John’s argument, or if they just got annoyed with the space monitor after endless nagging and relented like tired parents.

The tiny part of John’s mind that still allowed him to joke kinda hoped it was the third option. “Easy child”, pfft. John’ll show them.

Right, right, a clear head, the most focused of IR, he can’t get unfocused or go too far off track. He’s saved many lives throughout his life, all of them thanks to his level head, but right now, he was arguably saving the most important life of all, so that meant he had even more incentive to stay focused.

In fact, he was so focused, he jumped at the sudden, feminine voice filling the room, “John, I found another article I think you would like to see about most common places criminals… John?”

Crap, he was halfway into the fetal position. Slowly uncurling, John nodded, “Oh, thank you, EOS. I’ll start reading it shortly.”

The noise of her lens adjusting sounded throughout ‘Five again, “Of course. Let me know if you would like me to start searching for a different topic, though. There has to be a limit to how many “You wouldn’t believe this” articles one can take, and I think I’m finding it really quickly.”

For the next few seconds, John was suddenly filled with a rush of determination he had been trying to get after their little confrontation in front of a locked elevator door to ‘Five.

She had been helping him out so much the past couple of weeks. Running unnecessary tests for him, searching parts of the web only she could search without getting tracked by some secret mafia, letting him know it was okay if he couldn’t get everything right the first time when two months ago she snapped at him for getting a simple algebra equation wrong due to lack of sleep. She had been especially patient with him recently, even after their little spat in the hangar, and John wasn’t sure how to process it. A tiny part wanted to resort to anger again because he clearly didn’t deserve her, but the more prevalent parts preferred something like depression or even apathy.

She had been making sure his world didn’t spin off its axis, and John couldn’t even tell her sorry until now.

“EOS, I’m sorry.”

She stopped moving, turned around and let her lights blink yellow for only a moment, “For what, John?”

The man in question waved his hands around in front of his face, lost, confusing her more. With a sigh, he explained, “For a lot of things, but mainly from a few weeks back when we had that argument. I said something that wasn’t okay, and I didn’t have the balls to own up to it until now. So, I’m sorry. I crossed a line I shouldn’t have even been near.”

For a little bit, it was quiet. John waited as the A.I. contemplated his words. Then, she spoke her judgment, “Well, I know you are. You haven’t exactly been working off your butt over nothing, right? Plus, reliable sources say one of the ways guilt manifests is anger. I’ve seen that with the rest of your family. It would make sense yours would too.”

John blinked. Part of him was expecting her to not fully understand why he was apologizing, but the other wanted her to just so he could get over this, just so he could let go of even just the teeniest amount of guilt he had, “EOS, anger isn’t a valid excuse. What I said was wrong. I don’t believe those words and you shouldn’t either. The whole point of this partnership is to show you that there’s more to life than just calculations and probabilities. It’s kind of hard to see that when the one person who promised to be different went and screwed it up anyway.”

John hoped EOS was at least questioning things now instead of letting his words go in one ear and out the other. Her next words said she was doing exactly the latter, “Okay. I don’t disagree with you, John, but I don’t know why you’re so hooked on this. I understand. We don’t have to worry about this unnecessarily anymore.”

Yes, you do understand. That’s the fucking point.

They weren’t getting anywhere, yet John didn’t even have the energy to groan in annoyance. He could even get his eyebrow to twitch.

All he could do was simply lean his head back against the wall and let his hair stick up against it like static electricity was flowing through it. The real reason it was sticking up was probably due to a mixture of Zero-Gs and grease from all of the showering he hasn’t been doing, however. His eyes had deep rings around them, and for a second, EOS thought about how relative age could be as a number while John softly spoke, “The Hood was an angry man, too, you know. He felt slighted by our family and wanted us to feel the same. It still doesn’t make what he did right.”

EOS thought about his words before coming to a logical conclusion, “Well, that’s certainly a leap in logic. There’s a big gap between simply yelling because you’re annoyed and literal kidnapping. One gives people a sour mood, the other gives them a significant amount of jail--”

“Yes, EOS, I’m aware of that,” John brought his hand to his face, but underneath it was a grin, telling the world that he was feeling fond exasperation more than anything. EOS was more obtuse than him sometimes. It was one of the few things of himself he wished she didn’t copy so easily. He sighed and brought his hand back down, “I’m just... putting things into perspective. I want you to see why my words were wrong. It would make me feel better if you did.”

EOS hung still, letting John’s admission roll over her wiring like a wave of electricity, “You have a lot of needs and wants. What takes precedent?”

More inflection. This time, John welcomed it. It gave him something to stand on. John wanted a lot of things. Alan to be home safe and sound, Dad to have not disappeared for nearly a decade, for his brothers to stop slowly killing themselves, for himself to stop, but the needs of the many, even the needs of one, outweigh the wants of a singular man like him, but, “Well, needs obviously, they’re necessary, however… it’s okay to be selfish every once in a blue moon. It doesn’t make you inherently bad.”

It was advice he parroted many-a-times to his family, some of them more often than others, seldom to himself if at all.

Scott, it’s okay if you have to tell them you can’t make this business conference.

Virgil, you can count inventory in the morning. You didn’t get any sleep last night either.

Gordon, if you can’t smile for a day or two, that doesn’t make you a bad person.

Kayo, you don’t have to patrol every night. We have security cams for a reason.

Alan, I know we tease you, but you missing a chore or two isn’t the end of the world.

Grandma, you already do enough for us, you barely cooking for us is the least of our worries.

That last one might be more for the rest of his family than not, but hey, two birds and one stone. Keeping his back against the wall, John stood up straighter against it, face suddenly serious, “In fact, wanting to be selfish is one of the best ways to tell that you’re human. You can’t escape it. It only becomes bad when you end up only being that.”

EOS sat in silence, her lens flickering in that way it always does when she was signifying she was about to pass judgment like a Goddess, which she seemed to be doing a lot more recently, “Well then… If I’m allowed one moment of self-reprieve, I suppose I should say that those words did… hurt.”

John grimaced despite very much understanding that he deserved it. The return of the inflection didn’t exactly help. Pushing himself away from the wall, he felt the metaphorical weight fall off his shoulders, “Yes, they did, and while they weren’t okay, it is okay to say that they weren’t. I still am very sorry.”

EOS adjusted her camera, probably to stall for time, “I know you are, John. I still forgive you, but am I correct in assuming I’m allowed some time to… recover isn’t the word I’m looking for, but--”

“Yes, EOS,” John helped her explain her own point, “Recover is a good word. You’re allowed that if you want it.”

John wasn’t sure how, but it seemed like EOS visibly relaxed, “Thank you, then, for letting me do that. This.”

For some reason, John did too, “Of course.”

It was a soft kind of awkward silence, where both parties had something on their mind but they weren’t entirely sure if they wanted to say it out loud. This is why EOS appreciated John more than the others, he simply let silence be silence. It allowed her time to think, unlike how Scott and Virgil kept asking questions, or how that awful duo made noises and messes only to have a chance at making people laugh. As if that was the most important thing they needed to do.

The nights the youngest called John were endless with his constant babbling that tended to grate her circuit boards. The only reason she let it happen was that John seemed to loosen up at the interaction. He became less weary, less worried-filled. He seemed to greatly enjoy the audial presence of Alan Tracy, let alone the way he lit up when the youngest actually showed up in person. It was just unfortunate that it seemed like the kid could never keep his mouth shut.

Then again… from what John said, the whole reason there wasn’t any more Alan was because he did keep it shut. At the worst moment possible. Now there wouldn’t be any more babbling period. Alan was gone, and the whole family was suffering from the new silence. EOS reasoned it was from the general idea of forced silence instead of just freely being able to leave the room or being able to tell him to quiet down, but maybe it was more than that. She could make another list of options to consider.

Plus, it was weird to think about a future where all of those video game walkthroughs she was forced to save would never be used again. John insisted that they weren’t just wastes of megabytes, so...

Hmm.

“Could you…” EOS trailed off, and before John could comprehend the unusual behavior of the A.I., she started speaking again, “Could you tell me more about Alan? I’m starting to think I judged him rather harshly.”

John took a moment to register her words and promptly snorted, “Well, most of your assumptions about him aren’t entirely unfounded, but that’s one of the joys of being an older sibling, I guess. Surprises around every corner,” there was regret in her voice and John knew he had to treat this as gently as he would a newborn child otherwise he would never hear it again.

EOS flickered, “I thought you didn’t like surprises.”

Uh, “Well, not usually, but there are a few from time to time that I could look back on and call them… quaint, in a sense.” Suddenly, a memory resurfaced, and John found himself grinning like he was doped up on nitrous oxide, “Yeah, they can have good surprises occasionally…”

It was a week before his next rotation. Scott would be back home in about three days, which allowed the second born to actually have a few moments with his only older brother. He was looking forward to it just as much as Scott was. Right now, though, he had to make sure he got the right angle.

Right as he did, he heard the soft pitter-patter of footsteps come up the ladder, and when he turned around, he was met with a bundle of freckles, “Oh, hey Alan.”

Hi, Johnny, the kid squirmed out, Is it okay if I sit next to you?

At first, a list of things wanted to fill John’s head. You look dead on your feet, you should be asleep, you have a lot going on this week so why are you wasting sleep? but instead of any of those filling the void that was his brain, John simply nodded, “Yeah, sure, come pop a squat, Sprout.”

John looked away right before he could watch Alan’s nose wrinkle in displeasure. Despite the usage of the nickname (that Alan secretly liked, don’t think you could pull that wool over our eyes, little bro), the kid still toddled over and flopped himself down right next to his older brother. Sighing, the kid leaned his head on John’s arm and absentmindedly stared out into space, both figuratively and literally. Satisfied his brother was comfy, John went back to his current objective.

As John examined the night sky, he also carefully looked over Alan out of the corner of his eye. Every bruise that John could see was finally dulling out into that familiar greyish-yellow as bruises do, and the sight was enough to calm any negative emotion being created from the reminder. John refocused on his telescope to help as well.

The kid had been through one hell of a week, bullies being their typical selves. Every Tracy outside of Scott and Gordon had their fair share of their own experiences with nasty people, and it wasn’t even the first time they’ve left their special kind of blue-and-black marks, but seeing it on Alan was… worse, somehow. Virgil had unsavory anonymous notes at ‘best’, and John knew first hand that their hits bruised more than just physical skin. So to see Alan get the same treatment and not say anything...

John was starting to understand why his older brother greyed so easily.

Speaking of which, Scott was pretty peeved at the idea of not being there for Alan. Because of this, John made sure to be the sole one to call him and inform him of the awful news while the older brother was out at his designated Air Force base. John wanted to see with his own two eyes that Scott wouldn’t do anything rash and made himself liable to be put on some kind of list.

You would think he wouldn’t be that stupid, but the Tracys are known for breaking expectations over their sweet, sweet kneecaps.

(“Scott, you’re not going to steal an Air Force jet just to come and beat up some dumb kids.”

“Watch me.”

“They’re only a year older than Alan.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

John pinched the bridge of his nose, “Listen, we already scarred them enough as it is, let alone their expulsions. Grandma’s threats to the adults were liable for a government-mandated therapist, Virgil just being there had them running for the hills, the computer I was sporting sent chills down their spines and throughout the hallways, and that’s not even to mention Gordon’s threats to the kids themselves. Seriously, where would a 15-year-old even get the tools to do that?”

Scott visibly relaxed at John’s point, but he still sat a little taut, not fully accepting the idea of people being cruel enough to hurt a literal ray of sunshine, “Fine, fine, I still want to talk to the kid over a call at some point. He was the one who dealt with those idiots.”

John’s shoulders deflated, “Yeah, you got me there. He’ll be back with Virgil and Gordon soon enough, you can see him then.”

Scott smiled in a way that washed away the greys in his hair, if only for a moment, “Awesome, I--”

John wasn’t completely done, “But I’m going to be with Alan while you talk to him. I don’t trust you to not be in search-and-destroy mode, and the last thing Alan needs is an angry you with no buffer. Besides, I’m pretty sure we have the same questions. I can play the angsty-Scott translator tonight. Usual fee, 10 bucks each word.”

The groan that managed to fill the whole house despite the tiny speakers was one John would never forget.)

Too lost in thought, John didn’t catch Alan’s movements at first. Leaning away from his telescope, John focused on Alan, “Sorry, Allie, did you say something?”

The child simply shrugged and smushed his chubby cheeks against John’s side, shaking his head, followed by his hands, I just wanted to see what you were doing.

Ah, that made sense. Alan had been continuously signing for the past year because of the obvious, so John rolled with the punches. It was always funny when they talked about these years in the future. Alan talked, Alan said, Alan brought up: it was always metaphorical, and nobody could believe them when they said Alan was fluent in ASL, let alone because he could actually go half a day without talking.

It was ironic because even with no words, Alan still managed to be the loudest thing on the planet. His hands always screamed with excitement whenever he felt like ‘talking’, and no brother ever felt like shutting him up. Especially when it was so easy for Alan to simply not shake his hands to hide the fact that he was in trouble--

Right, don’t go there. John shook his head to bring himself out of his thoughts and replied to the non-verbal admission, “Just looking at the stars. Recording their coordinates and whatnot.”

A small gasp had John jerking immediately away from his scope to see Alan suddenly very worried, maybe even fearful, But won’t you lose your eyes?!

Aha, what? “Allie, you’re going to have to give me more than that.”

John almost didn’t catch what Alan was trying to explain with the way he frantically shook his hands even faster than before, Mrs. Gatsen explained to us that the sun was a star too, but we’re not allowed to look at it for too long because it’ll steal our eyes! I don’t want you to lose your eyes, Johnny!

Ohoho, the part of John’s brain that was all about the smartsy stuff was gearing up to have a full-blown seminar of sorts, but the way the kid seemed so sincere in his worry, in his fear, John felt partially bad for giggling instead, “Oh, Allie, no. Here,” John was activating his inner Virgil and Scott with the way he grabbed the youngster and placed him in his lap, “Yes, the sun is a star, but there are many kinds of stars. Most of which don’t hurt your eyes. Take a look.”

Alan gave one last sentimental look at John, who nodded again just to reassure the blonde before the boy gulped and put his eye against the tool like Johnny did. This time, the gasp that came from him was more magical, more child-like, as it always should be. John watched on as the kid became stuck to his telescope like glue.

Suddenly, Alan leaned back into John, somewhat knocking the wind out of him. Honestly, now that he was thinking about it, John realized he was pushing it by letting Alan sit next to him in terms of his personal comfort zone. He loved Allie just as much as the rest of the family, but letting them in, letting them get close, was veering dangerously close to that specific ‘hug’ territory like he and his parents had.

Before John could explain that in a child-friendly way, and hopefully in a way where the too-smart-for-his-own-good kid couldn’t pick up on the hidden message, Alan looked him directly in the eyes and confidently signed his wants, Can we do this more often? Can we?

Just like that, John’s mind blanked. Alan wanted to do something with him. Not swim with Gordon, not music with Virgil, not do, well, anything with Scott, Allie found something that he would like to do with John.

Huh, interesting, “Yeah, sure. If we can’t do it in the next week, then the first thing we’ll do when I come down is stargaze, because that’s what it’s called: stargazing.”

Alan started gripping his arm tighter and leaned more into his chest, nodding vigorously at the news and looking back to the sky with newfound wonder. Letting Alan be, abruptly forgetting his grievances with things like touch, John went back to his telescope. After another minute or so, John reached a point where he needed both sides of his body, except it looked like one of them was going to be kept immobile unless the spaceman said something to Alan.

John tried doing just that, just without looking away from his device, “Hey, Allie, I don’t mind the sitting-in-my-lap and stuff, but I do need my arm back to--”

Snoring.

Oh.

Jerking his head to physically look at his sibling, John found Alan passed out and squeezing his arm like a freckled koala bear. The ginger flinched a little bit at the drool dripping onto his sleeve, but the way Allie melted into him made him-- actually, he was very suddenly aware that this whole night he hadn’t really been thinking at all, and that thought made him continue to stare mindlessly at the dozing brother.

He always thought about, well, everything. What he was going to say, what he planned to do tomorrow, about what the future held now that they were down their second and last parent. If he didn’t think about it beforehand, he rarely did it. He had to make sure he went through all of his options before haphazardly jumping into the pits of hell.

Yet the way his younger brother looked at him like he was the world himself tonight made John throw all of his training to be as cautious as possible out the window in a need to comfort and care for the small thing in front of him.

It was shocking to his mind, yet he didn’t resent just being able to do without worrying too much. Was this how smother complexes started? Did he ever drool on Scott’s arm? Still staring at Alan, John’s mind continued to be robotic as he simply let his younger brother be and went back to his telescope. Alan had been needing to get a little more sleep lately anyway.

Yeah, it was fine. He could figure out how to follow up on his words later. It wouldn’t be that hard to figure out a way to squeeze Alan into some of his already-planned stargazing nights while making sure the kid still got sleep. Also, John’s used telescopes wearing a cast and sling before, he might prefer two arms, but he has been okay with only one.

If Grandma yelled at John for spending too much time on the roof again, well, she would have to get over it. Alan got an extra hour of sleep and that was all that mattered.

EOS watched as John finished the story. Once he was done, he continued to be quiet while grinning at nothing. All he was doing was simply staring at the floor… It was slightly creepy, and EOS cleared her nonexistent throat, “Huh, I didn’t realize he got a lot of his interests from you. Maybe… maybe you could show me why he did. He can too. More perspectives always get more data.”

John blinked and was immediately taken out of his trance. He brought his hand to his mouth and cleared his throat, “Yeah, he-- wait, what?”

EOS sighed. This is another reason why she snapped him out of it; his inability to listen to someone right in front of him. She simplified her words, “If Alan comes back, can you two take me stargazing? I don’t think I’ve ever seen what the stars look like down there, or, at least, I never looked at them long enough to understand what you all find to be so fascinating about them.”

John blinked a few more times with his mouth slightly gaped. He looked around nervously before bringing his turquoise eyes to look EOS directly in the middle of her camera, “Yeah, sure, EOS. When Alan gets back, that’s the first thing we’ll do.”

EOS didn’t mention anything about the correction of if to when, “Thank you, John, I would like that very much.”

John nodded and floated back to his tech, “Of course. Now then, we’ve got work to do. I’ve been meaning to stargaze recently anyway.”

He still had one more day up here.

And a baby brother who needed saving.

How hard could it be?

---

Very.

Growling in frustration, he thumped his fist against the wall next to him rather harshly.

Not enough to leave any kind of mark or dent, but enough for him to focus on the tiny amount of pain it gave him. He vaguely heard EOS’s lens flare at the sudden noise, but he was a little too focused on why he felt the need to hit his girl.

It was the end of the last day, and he didn’t make it any further like he thought he would.

Some bleak part of his mind was hoped, prayed that his girl would have the tools to find their baby brother. He was willing to bend her entire satellite to be able to reach the far ends of the galaxy if he had to, but even he had to concede that she wasn’t enough. The Hood wasn’t dumb, unfortunately, and he wasn’t going to go easy on them. That is if he was even going “to go” on them to start with.

While it wasn’t the first time he failed spectacularly, this failure certainly hurt the worst.

Half of him wanted to curl up into a ball and forget everything for a moment (or maybe forever), but the other half won out in terms of what his body contorted into. Instead of curling up like a prickly hedgehog, he leaned backward to be floating with his back to the ground and his face to the ceiling with his face in his hands. Meanwhile, EOS silently gazed from her camera in the corner. Watching John struggle this way was… new, and it twisted her wires in a way she wasn’t sure she could describe.

EOS watched him mumble something. Huh, peculiar as ever. Adjusting her camera, she tried small talk, “What was that, John?”

Still mumbles, but more intelligible, “... I need to drop the ‘s’.”

A flicker of yellow, nothing but pure confusion for once in her robotic life, “The ‘s’ of what?”

Suddenly, the astronaut was standing (well, floating) upright with a look of disdain, but EOS could see that it wasn’t meant for her, “Of ‘she’. It’s not ‘Five’s fault, God, it never is, but maybe… maybe it’s mine.”

All of her programs should allow her to say something. Anything, sugarcoated or not, would be beneficial to this seemingly one-sided conversation, but this was the moment she learned that humans could be faster than computers since John steamrolled right to the point without hesitation, “He wasn’t good enough sounds better. Nothing I’m doing is getting any results. I gave my family false hope that I would find something and now I have to go to them and essentially break them. They were already barely holding it together as it was, but when the “smart one” in their family says there’s nothing he can do…”

She found herself going against the logical part of her program-- because despite the idiot John Tracy could be, when he made an argument that had any kind of evidence you never could go against it-- the first time in, well, ever, in an attempt to comfort her partner, “John… I think you’re grasping at straws here.”

He looked up from the floor, and EOS had to shrink her lens at the sight of unshed tears in his eyes, “Who was the one that called him?! Me! He was standing there only a few rooms over, probably terrified out of his mind, and I didn’t know. I let him slip between our fingers because I was so caught up in the moment and I hate myself for it.”

EOS found herself speechless for once, and the few droplets of tears that floated in front of John’s face didn’t help. She had been trying her best recently, especially recently, to understand the fluctuations of human emotion, and she was pretty sure she had decent tabs on at least John nowadays, but this was something unexpected, a thing her programming never really liked to deal with. It involved lots of new calculations and new sims, why, it made things seconds longer when they didn’t have the time to deal with it!

Her electronic voice box made a noise with the intent to say something, as she thought she finally had the time to deal with it, but just her luck, more unexpected things made her reapproach the issue at hand, “John, look out! The Chaos Crew!”

Blinking out of his self-deprecation train, John was uncharacteristically panicking, “What, where?” After doing a full 180, John eventually saw one of his comm radios with the familiar pink symbol floating above it.

John’s pupils shrunk and his eyebrows tilted downward in that unfamiliar emotion: anger.

Fuck this.

The mood change was as fast as the speed of lightning. John practically flung himself to the communication device on something akin to a warpath. No longer regretful or depressed, John was filled to the brim with fury at the sight of one of the men that was a constant thorn in the Tracy family’s side, “What the hell are you doing here? How the hell did you--”

“Wait wait wait!” Fuse pleaded, making John momentarily pause enough to listen, “I’m not good at this like my sister is, so this connection is going to drop soon. I need you to reopen the line yourself so I can explain what I’m here for! Trust me, I swear I’m not--”

Zip.

Blinking at the lack of noise, John slowly turned his head to look at his A.I. to get her opinion on the matter. It wasn’t a positive one, that’s for sure. Her dots were bright red, and for the first time in a while, he found himself flinching at the sight and sound of her, “It wouldn’t take much of me to get rid of the nuisance, you know.”

Taking a few deep breaths, John shook his head, “No, EOS, give me a sec. Don’t send him careening into space.”

Yet.

With shaky hands, John did as Fuse begged and found the comm line the guy haphazardly threw together. Right as Fuse jumped at the sight of one of the Tracys actually hearing him out, John’s voice spoke coldly, “You have five minutes. Go.”

Fuse gulped, “W-Well, I suppose the first thing to do would be to apologize. I’ve caused a lot of messes for you and your family-- heh, ‘messes’ probably doesn’t even come close to explaining what I did-- and I realize that now, so I want to--”

Ah, that tactic. The one where they try so desperately to seem like they were repentant. John wasn’t familiar with it, but Scott sure was. Shady business owners trying to shy away from their consequences made the eldest very aware of how slimy those in power could be. Scott complained about it a lot, so John made sure to always remember it just in case he ever ran into it himself.

Preplanning wins again in the Tracy household. You should listen to John’s advice more, Gordon, “Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” John muttered mostly to himself and moved in a way that signified something was going to happen.

Fuse sputtered and stopped immediately. Crap, he was going about this wrong. These were all things he was suddenly genuine about, he really was, but the Tracys didn’t want useless apologies at the moment, and he understood that. Hopefully, he didn’t understand it too late. Right before John could do anything to him or give any kind of command to his satellite, Fuse blurted the information he should’ve said the first place, “I know where he is!”

John felt like the Earth flew right off its axis.

Everything froze, including EOS. His hand was out in front of him for some reason, probably subconsciously reaching for some kind of button, as he absentmindedly listened to the whirl of ‘Five and his brain fully processed what Fuse was promising, “... What?”

John was keenly aware that sounding so weak, so hopeful, was something that Fuse could spinelessly abuse if the man wanted to, but John had a good lie detector. The words that fumbled out of half The Chaos Crew’s mouth were sounding good, great, and John could tell that he wasn’t bullshitting anything, “I know where he’s keeping your bro. I mean… shit, what The Hood did wasn’t right, maybe it never was, but I know this specifically is--” a break in his speech in an attempt to words things better. Fuse failed, “Bad. I just…”

John’s head involuntarily tilted at the way Fuse trailed off. For once in his life, John was at a loss. This was highly uncharacteristic from what John had seen of The Chaos Crew, and the astronaut was so flabbergasted he couldn’t even begin to come up with any possible ulterior motive behind Fuse’s actions at the moment.

Suddenly, Fuse looked back up with big eyes, almost reminding John of Alan a little bit. Not in the obvious ways, because Fuse was on the verge of seven feet tall and built like a truck whereas Alan was the teeniest thing on the planet, but… John could see similar traits of innocence in them. The eyes of someone desperately clinging onto the last few shreds of hope they had, but still ready to do what's right because of it. Because even if the light at the end of the tunnel was small it was still worth fighting for.

Fuse, seeing that John wasn’t going to say anything, bit the bullet, “I don’t know, call it selfish, call it smart, but if The Hood is willing to do something like this to someone so young, I… I don’t want to be apart of it. I can’t give any information about my sister, I’m no snitch, but I want out, even if it means spending the rest of my days in a GDF cell.”

John was suddenly aware of a burning question, “Wait, how old are you, Fuse?”

A tired sigh, aging Fuse to something that was probably three times what he was going to say, “I turn 20 in two weeks.”

John sharply inhaled, “Jesus, I… I didn’t realize you were that young.”

A lot of things made sense quickly and abruptly like they always do for the ginger.

If The Hood was willing to do this to someone so young, that didn’t stop him from doing this to someone like Fuse. The logical conclusion the now ‘ex-villain’ made probably danced the wildest jig in his head, and before anyone could clap their hands, he got as far away as possible. John wouldn’t be surprised if The Hood made idle threats for not following orders or for “being stupid”, so Fuse had every right to feel threatened.

Jeez, he was probably terrified at the implication. A dark, buried part of John selfishly thought good, it sucks you had to learn the hard way, but now you see why we all hate him, but the first thing that came to his mind was something unexpected yet expected all the same.

John was reminded of Alan again.

Except Alan had four older brothers to run to when the monsters got too big or too frightening.

…

Scott was going to kill him, “Park her over on the left and come in. We’ve got a lot to talk about. Bring inside whatever you think will help.”

EOS’s shrill John! ringed throughout the room, yet it was overruled swiftly. Fuse’s mouth was wide open, “For real?”

John couldn’t tell if he was losing the knots in his stomach or forming completely new ones, “Yes. Don’t do anything funny, though. I have eyes everywhere.”

Fuse gulped again, yet he was very business-like with his next words, “Of course.”

The line cut a millisecond before John wanted it to. John knew exactly why, “Listen, EOS--”

EOS was suddenly in his face, and it spoke miles at how far she’s come that she wasn’t blaring any alarms in anger, “No, you listen, John Tracy. I cannot believe the level of ignorance you are displaying!”

Gordon always joked about her being his daughter, but right now, John’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance at the feeling of being scolded by an overbearing mother, “I get this may seem like I’ve lost it--” jokes on EOS, who says he hasn’t at this point? “Listen, there’s nothing else left to go off of, and I know this makes me look like a crazy man desperate for information that might not even be there, but--”

“No buts!” EOS shrieked, “You told me that if you followed a sentence with a “but” that what you were about to say shouldn’t even be considered an option! What is making you throw all of my training out the window?!”

John’s mouth became very dry. This conversation was taking a very different turn, “Wait, EOS, why is this all about you suddenly--”

John was starting to regret giving her more mobility at the sight of her jamming her camera directly in his face even more, “It’s not just about me! This affects you too! You said you always based your decisions on the here-and-now, so I should too, so why am I the only one doing so?! You’ve seen what he’s capable of!”

John’s mind tended to be made of gears, and all of them began spinning at the same time. Dammit, he didn’t pick up on this because he didn’t even consider it a factor: EOS being scared. Hell, it wasn't even considered because the last time he remembered her being this scared was when she thought he was a threat during the first time they met (was it really that long ago?). She was scared that Fuse was going to hurt John like he hurt the rest of the astronaut’s family. Like he hurt Gordon.

The only difference is that nobody could get to John like they did Gordon, so that left the ginger at an impasse if the small chance that Fuse was here to hurt him came true.

John found it very hard to breathe all of a sudden. Closing his eyes and struggling to get enough air in, he realized a fundamental problem. EOS was based on data and things that have been recorded, and so far, the only things recorded about Fuse was that he was hellbent on hurting the Tracy family, a family that John was apart of.

She didn’t know any other way to feel about the guy, she didn’t have any other example.

John would love to be that way too, honestly, to just focus on the data. Numbers never tended to be wrong, and the idea of being a simple number-crunching bot would make life a shit-ton easier, but he can’t. He’s human. One that’s very much willing to go against the numbers and probabilities if it meant helping his family.

A rarity for John, to follow his gut and nothing else, but at the end of the day, he was a Tracy, and following his gut was as familiar to him as it was to name all of the immediate constellations in the summer’s nighttime sky, “EOS, I know it’ll be hard to believe me, hell, I’m having trouble believing myself, but Fuse isn’t here to hurt me. The here-and-now is different for reasons I don’t have enough time to properly explain, okay? If there’s anything to believe, believe in the trust you have in me to make the right decision like I always do.”

EOS made no noise, not even a flicker of her lens. He expected her usual sass, something along the lines of, Who says I trust you, moron? but what he got punched away what little air he managed to collect, “... Do you promise?”

That was the million-dollar question. Of course, he couldn’t. He didn’t like making promises after the age of 12. Too many probabilities, too many what-ifs, made promises somewhat of a theoretical impossibility. But just like that night on the roof with Alan, John was able to not think, “I promise, EOS. You wanted to go stargazing with me and Alan, right? Fuse might be able to let us do that again.”

‘Family’ was a Wild Card. Nothing was possible, yet everything was at the same time when it came down to it. ‘Family’ was what made Scott go from day to day without keeling over. ‘Family’ was what got Virgil to sleep at night when he just couldn’t by himself. ‘Family’ was how Gordon managed to keep smiling and joking despite everything in the world trying to make him stop. Hell, ‘Family’ was how their father kicked the word impossible right in the groin and live.

‘Family’ might have been why Alan was stuck in such a shitty situation, but it was also the reason the kid was willing and able to go that far in the first place. He learned that selflessness from his ‘Family’, after all.

John was intent to use that fact to the fullest.

EOS’s lights blinked in contemplation before she quietly spoke once more, “Do I have permission to shock him if he makes even the slightest suspicious movement?”

John rolled his eyes yet grinned all the same, “Sure, only just a little voltage, though. Right in the ass. Would be a nice pick-me-up after all of this.”

Well, despite the year they’ve had, John wasn’t aware EOS could snort. Another sign things might be going right for once.

The door swwwshed open and Fuse floated into where the two hyper-intelligent beings were hanging about and got straight to the point, “Thank you. I hope… I hope I don’t let you down.”

John found himself light as air, and it wasn’t just the zero-gravity this time, “Sounds good. Let’s get cracking.”

While the first thing he did back on Earth was scare his father and his immediate younger brother shitless, the way they and the rest of the family lit up at the plan he and Fuse came up with (after making sure nobody killed the dude, which was surprisingly more difficult than expected, and boy was it expected) made it all worth it.

Well, maybe the sight of Fuse occasionally jumping and yelping at a strange pinch in his bottom with no known cause was worth it too. John wouldn’t tell his brothers that, though, he was the responsible one, remember?

You always made me look at things differently, EOS. Thank you.

[invisibletinkerer]

Fic: The Secret Journal of 'Stanford' Pines

Size: ~3000 words AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20864183

Stan Pines keeps a journal of brief daily notes during the summer of 2012.

Note: We all know that the Gravity Falls timeline makes no sense whatsoever. Therefore this is based on a headcanon timeline I made a year or so ago, trying to incorporate as many of the canon dates (in show and published J3) as possible, but ignoring the ones that were contradictory or made no sense. This still means some episodes did not happen in a strictly chronological order.

June 1

Kids are here. I have no idea what to do. Why did I agree to this.

Boy is a grump and girl made macaroni art in the kitchen. Did I even have macaroni?

 June 2 Sunday

I think boy got spooked in the forest. He seems fine, though. Good taste in gold chains.

Girl is now dating some punk kid.

 June 3

Kids looked like they’d been run over by the golf cart when they got back tonight. Not good.

Gave them some free gifts from the shop to cheer em up. Yes I know

Boy got a new hat. Should get him to wear a Mystery Shack shirt next. Girl found a grappling hook that was not in my inventory. Bold choice.

What would they say if they knew about me?

June 4

Fishing Season Opening Day – took the kids fishing.

Of course, they got excited about monster hunting instead. They’re listening to reason about as well as I and Fo did as a kid.

But. They came back to me in the end. We had fun.

I love those kids.

 June 5

Soos found those cursed old wax statues I sealed up some ten years ago. Don’t seem all that cursed now. One had melted.

Mabel’s gonna make a new one for the wax museum. Meaning I’ll have to figure out how to make suckers pay to look at wax statues again.

 June 6

Mabel’s wax creation nearly gave me a heart attack. It looks just like my twin me.

She’s crazy talented.

 June 7

I’d say the wax museum reopening went well. Assuming “well” means “profit”.

Did anyone actually think I’d hand out free pizza?

 June 8

Hanging out with my wax twin Stan, and the moment I turned my back he was murdered.

 June 9 Sunday

Tried to hold a funeral for Wax Stan. Failed to keep it tounge-in-cheek.

Face it, Ford is long gone

 June 10

Guess the wax people were still as cursed as I remembered. Kids killed them with fire – I should have done that long ago.

Dipper crawled in the vents all day looking for a wax head that got away.

If I keep telling him he’s delusional, he’s got to stop looking for trouble eventually, right?

 June 11

Mabel decided I should date Lazy Susan. Couldn’t stop her. Now Susan and her cats keep calling me.

This was a bad idea. (I will never tell Mabel that.)

 June 12

Went on a date with Lazy Susan to shut her up. That ended just as well as expected.

Need to figure out some more specific excuses.

 June 13

The worst thing is, the Portal should work now. It’s functional. I just can’t get it to start.

Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all along

I did fix that old copier. Don’t know if it still makes copies of people, but at least it makes copies of paper again.

Caught Dipper making oogly eyes at Wendy. I smell drama.

 June 14

Did not expect “The Duchess Approves” to be that good.

 June 15

The traditional Mystery Shack party that has nothing to do with any birthdays.

Mabel is a great singer, and that Northwest brat cheated.

Happy birthday, Sixer.

 June 16 Sunday

Gideon Gleeful’s running TV ads again.

Of course my family goes to his show just to spite me.

 June 17

Mabel played with Gideon today. Did not see that one coming.

As long as she’s happy, I guess.

 June 18

I hate Pioneer Day.

Stupid people acting even stupider than normal, nothing works, then someone (me) ends up in the stocks.

 June 19

Gideon and Mabel are dating!?

Seemed like a horrible idea, but Bud Gleeful has a point on the moneymaking opportunities if we play it right.

 June 20

So if Mabel marries Gideon, his business will be incorporated into mine. I sure like the sound of that.

Bud is already making t-shirts.

 June 21

 June 22

OK, no. No deals with the Gleefuls. Not now or ever.

Mabel broke up with the little pest. Good riddance.

Got me a nice painting from Bud’s house, though.

 June 23 Sunday

The Mystery Fair! It may look cheap, but it brings in the money.

Though someone broke all safety protocols and brought a futuristic laser gun to Dunkle the Grunkle. That’s unfair.

Mabel has a pig now.

 June 24

Got roped into the gaming arcade with the kids.

Maybe get one of those games for the Shack?

 June 25

Mabel decided to fix my fear of heights.

I can say this – being on top of a water tower about to fall over was unpleasant. Compared to that, a high but stable ground isn’t so bad.

Dipper got into a fistfight with Wendy’s boyfriend over teenage drama, but good on him for standing up for himself.

 June 26

For some reason Gideon has gotten it into himself that he wants the Mystery Shack now.

Good luck, kid. I’m a better conman than you’ll ever be.

 June 27

Mabel is slightly taller than Dipper. This is funny.

Gideon Gleeful trying to be threatening while throwing a hysterical fit after breaking my new mirror maze – mostly confusing. Wish I knew what went on in that kid’s head.

 June 28

Kids made me wear the golden teeth. Guess they think I’m a dishonest man.

Fortunately, I’m good at bullshitting even when telling the truth. Think I scandalized the poor things. Hilarious.

Could have been disaster, though. Could have easily made them hate me.

 June 29

Spent half the day falling down the Bottomless Pit.

 June 30 Sunday

Summerween, now that’s a respectable local holiday.

Scaring children for fun and profit. Celebrating true evil together with family.

 July 1

Hottest day of the year. Wax Stan was permanently murdered by the weather.

Closed the Shack and went to the municipal pool with the kids.

Gideon stole my perfect pool chair. It’s on.

 July 2

Broke into the pool area at night to get the chair to myself. Which was a good plan, until I wanted to get up later in the day. The pest had coated it with glue.

The kids broke into the pool at night, too. Didn’t ask.

 July 3

Opened the Shack again.

Can’t be too lazy. Tourists to fleece and all that.

 July 4

 July 5

Mabel bet she could run the Shack better than I can. Well. I’m nothing if not a gambler.

So, three days of vacation, in which I will make more money than she will make running the Shack. Winner takes the Shack, loser sings a silly song.

Best case scenario, she learns something about business and stops complaining. Worst case, she actually makes money and then runs the Shack for me the rest of the summer. Not bad.

 July 6

Made it past the line to be a contestant on Cash Wheel, using my Old Man powers and lack of common decency.

Why is it so hard to sleep

 July 7 Sunday

Well. I lost at Cash Wheel.

Guess that means I lost the bet with Mabel, too. Unless I go rob a bank or something in the time I have left. Hm.

 July 8

Turns out Mabel barely broke even when running the Shack. She did win the bet, but she didn’t want my job, no surprise there.

I’m proud of her for learning something.

She still made me sing that song. On video tape. It’s kinda catchy.

 July 9

Mabel’s friends came for a sleepover. They make a lot of noice.

 July 10

Soos managed to uncover the door to Ford’s that old study I sealed thirty years ago the very moment the kids demanded separate bedrooms.

I never wanted to see that room again. His glasses were still there

Guess they didn’t want the room in the end, but now it’s open. Can’t re-seal it.

I think they messed around with the freaky carpet. Took it away at the end of the day just in case.

 July 11

I fucked up, but I fixed it.

I got Mabel’s pig back, even when I had to punch a pterodactyl in the face for it.

She doesn’t hate me.

I love that kid so much.

 July 12

That weird egg I pocketed from the dino-cave hatched. Dipper says it’s a compo-whatnot.

I call him Compy. He’s now my Mystery Pet.

 July 13

Soos’ birthday. The kids tried to throw a party, which is. Bad idea.

Think he appreciated laser tag, though. And the magic pizza they got him. Never seen him so happy on a birthday.

 July 14 Sunday

Turns out Compy is a very tiny dragon. Hoards stuff, mostly cash. In places I can’t reach.

It’s no good. Gonna hand the chicken-lizard over to farmer Sprott first thing in the morning before he bankrupts me.

 July 15

Mabel and her friends went to some boy band concert. Got back late with a large pack of spoils. Probably robbed someone.

Wendy’s boyfriend is charming her with homemade music. Dipper suspects magic. Can’t rule that out.

 July 16

There was a hypnotic message in the music, but telling Wendy about it only made the teenage drama worse.

Went bowling with Dipper afterwards to cheer him up. Should have a chat with Wendy, too.

 July 17

Gideon   I’m   How could

Didn’t know Gideon was that serious.

As if half-lucid dreams about that yellow triangle wasn’t bad enough. (The kids know something. Not asking. I want them to stay away from that stuff.)

We’re staying with Soos as I panic figure out how to fix this.

 July 18

I can’t fix this.

Gideon’s got the whole town eating out of his hand and I’m just a grouchy old man.

Doing the responsible thing. Got bus tickets to send the kids home tomorrow.

Whatever I do next, don’t want them to watch.

 July 19

GIDEON IS A LITTLE SHIT AND I AM AWESOME.

Figured out his trick, proved it in public and now he’s in jail.

Got the Shack back. Got the kids back.

And. Get this. Gideon had one of Ford’s missing journals. I have it now.

 July 20

I can’t believe it. Dipper. Had the third journal all summer.

All three of the dumb books are right here in front of me.

I activated the Portal. Simple as anything.

It’s scanning for Ford right now.

I’m actually bringing him back.

 July 21 Sunday

Grand reopening of the Mystery Shack turned into a zombie-fest.

Kids could’ve died because I was too busy with the Portal to pay attention. That won’t happen again.

Should have talked to them about weirdness sooner. Hope they believed me when I said I have no more secrets.

A little worried that government might have picked up signals from the Portal.

 July 22

Repairing the Shack. Too much undead slime to attract tourists like this.

 July 23

Re-reopened the Shack.

Dipper got himself an old laptop computer from somewhere. Probably stolen. He tried to hide it.

 July 24

Went minigolfing with the kids.

Mabel challenged Pacifica Northwest to a duel at midnight. I’m so proud of her.

Letting kids into minigolf courts at night to take a rich snob down a few pegs – finally putting my skills to good use.

 July 25

I still can’t believe the Portal works.

It keeps scanning.

 July 26

Tried to bring old Goldie back to the gift shop but apparently he’s unhip and scary. Had to throw him away before the parents sued me.

What I do need is a singing animatronic robot badger. That’s what kids like these days.

 July 27

Soos missed work for the first time ever. Seems to be girl trouble, but the kids are handling it.

Would’ve stolen myself a robot badger if it hadn’t tried to kill me. Saved by old Goldie. No way I’m not keeping him now.

 July 28 Sunday

Went for a Vegas vacation because I deserve it.

Not because I’m nervous.

Brought Goldie, might have gotten slightly drunk. And slightly married.

 July 29

Mabel found herself a new obsession with hand puppets.

She’ll throw a big show on Friday. Made me rent Gravity Falls theatre for her. (Can’t believe I did that.)

 July 30

The Shack is full of sock puppets and kids and Mabel keeps singing.

Guess this is my life now.

 July 31

 August 1

Soos went to his cousin’s wedding with his new girlfriend. Good on him.

Mabel’s still obsessing about puppets.

Dipper looks like he hasn’t slept in days. Can’t blame him with all this ruckus.

 August 2

Play was good! Think it paid for the costs, too. Mabel’s got showmanship.

Don’t get the ending, though.

I mean. Children fighting always makes for good footage, but was it necessary to beat Dipper up that bad? I swear Mabel don’t know how strong she is.

A little worried about Dipper. He seemed high as a kite all day. Probably sleep deprivation. At least he’s sleeping now.

 August 3

 August 4 Sunday

Gravity’s going more crazy around the Portal the longer it’s on, but I don’t care.

It hasn’t found Ford yet.

It won’t find him if he’s dead

 August 5

The Portal ate my notebook.

Got a nasty cut on the back of my hand from some debris, too. Could have been worse.

 August 6

Tried to advertise the Mystery Shack for the kids at the Woodstick Festival. Hilarious disaster.

Being feared is worth more than being loved anyway.

 August 7

 August 8

IT FOUND HIM.

He’s alive. There’s a lock on his position.

Fuck I don’t  I have to

I know how it works. It needs to calibrate for a while. It needs to be fueled for the big moment.

I’ll go rob a government facility right now.

(So glad the kids are off at the Northwest party tonight.)

27 hours and then I’ll see him again.

 August 9

Ford is back.

I had to run from the feds and the kids found out everything the wrong way but it worked and he’s back.

But he doesn’t  He still hates me.  

Why would I expect anything else.

Don’t know what I’d do with myself if the kids weren’t here.

It’s fine. I fucked up everything, but. Mabel trusts me. Dipper forgives me. I’m fine.

not crying

 August 10 Sunday

The Shack needs repairs again.

Spent most of the day making Duck-tective finale preparations with Mabel. We had fun.

Told the kids to stay away from Ford.

 August 11

Dipper has predictably decided to be nerd friends with my brother.

Can’t stop him. He looks happy. Both of them do.

Still can’t figure out why Ford would have reality altering dice lying around in his sci-fi pouch.

Anyway. I knew Duck-tective had an evil twin.

 August 12

I hate everything.

Ford will take my his place here soon enough, does he have to undercut me while I’m still here?

I’m running for mayor now.

 August 13

Kids are helping me with a political campaign. Apparently I know nothing about politics and have unpalatable opinions. Bah.

 August 14

The Stump Speech went great! I relax, words happen, people cheer.

Dipper got a lucky tie for me. Think it really works.

 August 15

Should’ve tried being a politician before. Almost feels like people like me.

 August 16

Nope. Politics is not for me. Too much mind control.

Should’ve known it wasn’t me making those speeches.

(The kids shouldn’t get into politics either. Can’t always be there to save them from murder.)

Turns out I’m not mayor material, but I’m a HERO.

Take that, Ford.

 August 17

Rented an RV and took Soos and the kids and Mabel’s friends on a road trip.

Pranking the tourist traps. Good old Mystery Shack tradition for the last time.

Dipper’s practising flirting like a pro.

 August 18 Sunday

Almost got eaten by a spider-woman. That could have gone better.

Have to admit, the kids are heroes too.

Don’t think Ford noticed we were gone.

 August 19

Opened the Mystery Shack for the final stretch.

Two more weeks, then I’m gone for good.

 August 20

Made a good deal on illegal pugs. Still got it.

Ford and Dipper put some magic mojo on the Shack. Not gonna ask.

Might have something to do with how badly Ford is sleeping.

 August 21

Ten days left until the kids’s birthday and the end of summer.

Guess I’m doing a countdown now.

 August 22

Nine days left.

 August 23

Eight days left.

I’m gonna order a ponytail kit.

 August 24

HELL NO I DON’T NEED THIS.

It’s the literal end of the world and the kids are missing.

Suddenly orange skies, goats turning into monsters, the whole shebang. I thought I had enough troubles.

That magic on the Shack seems to be protecting it, but. THE KIDS ARE MISSING. So is Ford.

 ??? 1

Day and night are replaced by eternal glowing orange and every single clock is busted, so no more dates.

Went out looking for the kids, but all I find is other people. Also demons. No sign of Soos or Wendy, either.

Been taking people to the Shack. Safest place on Earth for all I know. I have enough brown meat and elected myself Chief.

The kids are fine. Probably with Ford. That’s the ticket.

 ??? 2

Went out looking again. Found the Northwest girl dressed in nothing but a potato sack. She was crying and I don’t want to know, but she didn’t deserve it.

Been told the head honcho is the yellow triangle. He calls this Weirdmageddon.

Old McGucket showed up more coherent than usual, herding a whole flock of forest creatures into the Shack. Starting to get crowded here.

The kids are fine. Of course they are.

 ??? 3

There’s still people alive out there. I heard cars over at Gleeful’s place.

Didn’t see anyone else.

I’ve lost  I couldn’t even

Mabel and Dipper are definitely still alive. So is Soos and Wendy. And Ford better be.

 ??? 4

They’re alive!

All four of my kids, bursting through the door like cops doing a raid but they’re alive!

Now all I want is for them to stay here and be safe. Why can’t they see that?

I’m done saving my brother’s skin and getting nothing but scorn for it.

Ford made his own bed with that demon. Forget it.

 ??? 5

Did I mention, the plan concocted by five kids, Soos, and a known madman is utterly insane?

They’re rebuilding the Shack. I just had it repaired, too.

It’s my house, but no one’s listening to me.

 ??? 6

I keep having this bad feeling about Ford.

It’s dumb. My brother has made it perfectly clear how he feels about being saved.

 ??? 7

Well then.

Not letting the kids lead an apocalypse rebellion against a demonic triangle without me.

 August 25 Sunday

 August 26

 August 27

 August 28

Huh. I can’t remember writing this, but it does ring a few bells.

It’s like I

I need to talk to Ford.

 August 29

So. The apocalypse is over, and we’re all fine.

We killed the demon by burning my mind out when he was inside, pretty much.

My mind’s still there, but it’s kinda. Well. In need of repair.

Spent a few days reliving good memories.

Turns out there’s more than a few bad ones, too. But.

Everyone is so good to me

I don’t deserve this

 August 30

I remember how Ford looked at me after I brought him back.

Now he acts like  he likes to   he thinks I’m

Now it’s like he’s my brother again.

He said. “Thank you.”

 August 31

The kids have left. I’ll miss them, but I’ll see them again.

Until then, my brother and I are going sailing.

[hes-writer]

Harry and Y/N are best friends (3)

Summary: Harry realizes he needs her

Warnings: angst, some fluff

Word Count: 4.1k

Disclaimer: don’t come @ me if it sucks, i know it does 

Y/N didn’t know if he was okay, he probably was, since she hasn’t heard from anyone in days. Sometimes he would sneak into her dreams and give her a few moments to imagine a life where they were together; her dreams were a place for them to be together whereas reality only spits at her pathetic attempt of finding love. He used her for his own selfish reasons and she let him because she desired him too much. He only kept her around because she was a safety net in case anything goes wrong and she couldn’t even let herself be too angry at him because at least he made her feel wanted. At least he trusted her with him himself; but he could never trust her with his heart even though she gave her own to Harry, willingly.

Luna was a neutral part of Harry and Y/N’s relationship, that is until she became Harry’s new girlfriend. She was happy that he had asked her, granted that they’ve only known each other for a few short months. It was a fairytale that had come true. Their relationship was blossoming and they were still in that honeymoon stage where everything they did seemed so perfect to each other and even their flaws were flawless. Needless to say, Luna couldn’t have asked for a better person to be with than Harry.

When she met Y/N the first time at the airport, she was jet-lagged and ratty that she acted so bitchy towards Harry’s supposed best friend. Luna felt absolutely terrible about the way she acted and practically begged Harry to contact her so that Luna could apologize and maybe get to know a woman who was a huge part of his life. For some reason, he had refused to do so and Luna was a bit discombobulated. She wasn’t living under a rock–anyone who’s been up to date with Harry knew that Y/N was a critical part of his life. Hell, when she met him, she thought that she was doing something wrong or putting herself in an affair because that’s how close Y/N and Harry were. However, once Harry stated that he and Y/N were just extremely close friends, Luna let go of her inhibitions and fully succumbed in the over pouring feelings she was developing for the green-eyed boy.

Like any new girlfriend, Luna wanted to make connections with people who knew Harry more than her—who better to ask than Y/N herself. The second Y/N’s name spilled from Luna’s mouth, Harry immediately became antsy and jittery that she wondered if it was something that she had said. Often, Luna found herself asking him if she accidentally said something offensive about Y/N. He always said ‘no’. That’s the reason why Luna was a bit hesitant in mentioning her recently-–for Harry’s sake–because his behavior drastically changes. His tone changed from casual to snide and he snarled at her once for even speaking the first syllable of her name. Luna didn’t know if they had a fallout or not; and frankly, she didn’t know if she was in a position to help them reconcile, or if she’s much to new in their lives that she’d only be seen as a meddler. Was it her business? She really didn’t know.

She met Harry when she was traveling out of the country. Coincidentally, they lived in the same area and that’s why she was over his house all the time. It was grandiose and bare, definitely beautiful, but it was lonely. During drunken wine nights, Luna and Harry would find themselves in his backyard, bodies sprawled out on a blanket that he had laid out for them to watch the stars. It’s romantic, he had said. But then he added, Y/N and I do this all the time’, making Luna’s heart thump a bit harder. From then on, Harry’s slurred voice reminisced the times he spent with Y/N.

“And she pointed at that—there! Can you see that?” He rasped out, index finger pointing up at a constellation. Harry continued speaking when he felt Luna’s head move against his chest–a nod.

“She thought that was the Big Dipper but she doesn’t even know how it looks like,” Luna’s head jolted minutely from Harry’s chuckling.

He mentioned her so many times that night; everything they did was compared to how he and Y/N had done it. After deciding to head inside for a midnight snack, Harry stood up and ushered Luna inside while he stayed behind in the night air.

“What are you doing, H?”

“‘M fixing the blankets, love”

“Let me help you with that,” Luna bent down to grab a corner, ready to fold.

“No, no Y/N usually prepped us some pizza pops,” He mumbled while his arms slowly got filled with the knitted material.

“Oh,”

————

Luna had a habit of overthinking, but she was slowly realizing that maybe Harry wasn’t as invested in her than she was in him. When she questioned why Y/N wasn’t around as much (as she expected), he reasoned that she was too busy with uni and other activities that Y/N barely had time for him. Luna knew that he was lying, it was obvious since she could see the pain and longing in Y/N’s eyes the night they bumped into each other at the supermarket. How Y/N glanced at their tightly held hands briefly before scoping the area in hopes of an escape. She noticed how Y/N pursed her lips in an attempt to repress the thoughts that she wanted to belt out in an effort to not yell at Harry about the distance between them.

Luna wasn’t clueless to not notice that maybe Y/N had some lingering feelings for Harry. Sure, she felt possessive over him upon comprehending the possibility, but Luna also trusted Harry loads and she knew that if there was anything to know about his and Y/N’s relationship, he would obviously tell her. So far, he hadn’t said anything to alarm her so Luna figured that they’re in a good place right now.

——

It’s been days since Y/N came over and soon stormed off with a loud slam of the door and Luna couldn’t help but bite her lip in guilt. She overheard the two’s conversation—well, heard. They weren’t speaking as quietly as they hoped. Gosh, did Luna wish that she went out that night. Maybe then, she wouldn’t have felt a twinge in her heart when Harry lowered his voice significantly to retort the time when Y/N had confessed her feelings to him. Her suspicion was right; Y/N did like Harry. She only failed to conjure a conclusion as to what Harry would have said.

Luna’s heart ached for Y/N as she recalled the time when Harry had hastily locked himself in his hotel bathroom. She was sitting at the foot of the bed, ready and dressed up for an evening dinner with him. It was their first date and they were about to head out when his phone rang. She remembered how Harry’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his sockets, excusing himself with a shy smile.

It was rigid and stern–Harry’s voice. The tiles of the bathroom did nothing but reverberate his voice amongst its walls and the sound waves had managed to slip through the crack of the door and into Luna’s receptors. She heard that he ‘wasn’t ready to commit’ and she knew that it wasn’t meant for her but she couldn’t help but wonder who was on the other side of the line. Luna felt her high spirits drift off and expectations of a new relationship dwindle knowing that if he wasn’t ready for whoever called him, then he most likely won’t give her a chance. 

Except, he did ask her out. He took Luna’s hand into his across the table, caressed it slowly while looking into her eyes as if he was trying to read her thoughts. He spoke the words she’d wanted to hear ever since Luna became aware of her feelings.

It was a bittersweet moment for her—having acquired the love she wanted, but empathic for the woman he’d lied to on the phone.

———

Of course, it was Y/N. Luna could understand how Y/N felt, she was in the same place before. Harry was a sweet and loveable guy and she wasn’t questioning why Y/N managed to develop feelings for him—she often wondered how Y/N was able to keep herself grounded when the man she loved was so close, yet he’d only labeled them as best friends. And Luna could tell that Y/N wasn’t infuriated at him because she was in the ‘friend zone’ because she still tried her best to accept her and Harry’s relationship. In fact, Y/N was saddened by the events and Luna would find herself being overwhelmed by guilt and remorse; having interrupted a strong friendship and banishing it into nothing can make a person feel that way.

That night, Luna laid her head on Harry’s chest and his heartbeat was a slow thrum almost as if he was dead. He might as well be with the way he was acting, too. He was disconnected from the world and had barely uttered a word since Y/N left some hours ago. He was rendered speechless and he rejected any invitation of eating from Luna. He barely put in effort in answering her about what movie he wanted to watch. She didn’t know what to do because she’s only known him in a short period of time, having never been exposed to this side of him, and Luna was sort of freaking out from his robotic responses.

Luna thought long and hard; was she really about to give up the greatest love of her life? Well, she wouldn’t say it was the greatest, but it was certainly one of the better ones. The sole problem that Luna couldn’t enjoy their bond to the fullest was because her mind kept wandering to him. Yes, she had him, they were together, but she really didn’t have him. At least, not his heart because from the way that he was acting, a piece of him will always belong to Y/N. Maybe Luna won’t ever get to know him the way Y/N does, and that information just doesn’t sit right with her. It wasn’t because she was jealous, of course, she understands that some things will only be kept between two people. She was a bit put off since his mind seemed to be day-dreaming when they were together; like he would rather be someplace else. He might not know it yet, but his heart only belonged to a special person and unfortunately for Luna– it wasn’t her.

——-

For the past couple of days, Luna had decided to distance herself from Harry to see if anything would be distinct from the way she felt for him. If she was being honest, she was definitely passionate towards him but nothing that she’d never felt before. It usually started off with a sort of magical realism, an absurdity that she had finally found the one; a soulmate. Except the pure feelings were tarnished by the knowledge that Luna couldn’t have all of him; he wasn’t hers for the taking, he was Y/N’s.

Harry was kicked off-course from his usual routine. Before he left the country, he would drive him and Y/N to the farmer’s market just outside of the city for organic produce. Recently, he would take Luna to the same market and introduce her to his healthy lifestyle. He used to carry the bags in his arms and settle them on his counter so he could whip out a delicious meal; Y/N’s favorite, something that he was used to creating. Now,  he would dangle on the edge of the unknown and the unfamiliar in order to cook a meal for Luna; something that he wasn’t used to, but tried anyway. But today? Today he had nobody to spend the afternoon with comfortably and it really made a dent in Harry’s day. He was a slow talker, a slow thinker, and an even slower understand-er– as in, it took him a while to put pieces together and make a plausible conclusion out of them.

HIs thumbs danced over Luna’s contact, but he dared not tap it because he knew that she was busy for the weekend. Then, he scrolled through Y/N’s contact name and with no hesitation did the screen change into the keypad. It rang and rang, then it went to voicemail–leaving Harry with his mouth agape because she had never–not one– not answer one of his calls. Sure, he was lacking as a friend lately, and yes, he did insult her and made a fool out of her with his words, but God, he needed her because he was bored out of his mind and she wasn’t there. It was a jerk-like personality cluster, he knows, and he felt guilty but it’s Y/N. Y/N always forgave him the day after (it’s been seven, but who’s counting) so why wasn’t she answering now?

————

“Harry, we need to talk,”

It was dinner, Luna was sitting adjacent to Harry. They were staring at each other in silence, waiting for the other to respond.

“Sure, Lu. What’s wrong?”

“Do you … do you maybe like Y/N?”

“Of course I do. Do you?”

Luna shook her head to say no, “Yes, I like her. But what I meant was do you see her as more than a friend?”

Harry’s utensils clang against the plate and he gulped thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing while his eyelids blinked. Luna was staring at him with a dead-panned look in her eyes.

“W-what kind of question is that?”

“Answer me, Harry.”

He tilted his head up straight to the ceiling. “No, I don’t”

“Why do I feel like you’re lying?” Luna was persistent, she pressed Harry’s buttons in hopes that he himself would realize feelings he’d been repressing.

“I’m not,”

“Stop lying, dammit!” Luna’s voice ripped through the otherwise silent room. Her palms met the wooden surface of the table and her eyes shifted to plead with his own. “I know that you feel something for her,”

“I don’t,” He shook his head in denial. “I don’t,”

“Do you not notice it or are you that clueless?”

Harry’s throat was dry and he swore that he could throw up right now. His biggest fear was coming true, somebody was noticing his feelings for his best friend– Y/N– and he couldn’t even peep out a word to save himself from his girlfriend.

“I–i,”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Luna stood up from her seat, pacing around the expanse of the table to try to stall some time to gather her thoughts so that she could articulate her points clearly in a way that Harry would understand.

“L-Luna,”

“You love her and you don’t even know it,” She began. “I heard you two talking the night of our first date and-and you were just so cruel to that poor girl,”

“You didn’t even hear her out,” 

“I only said that because I was set on you,” He defended, appalled as he didn’t know why she was complaining.

“I’m flattered, really. And I really do like you, Harry.”

“Then why are you bringing her up?”

“Because I know that even though you chose me– you are dating me, Y/N’s the one that you love, right?” Her tone changed with more grit. Her eyes had a fiery heat within them.

“I love her?” His finger dotted his chest before pointing at the space in front of him to symbolize Y/N.

Luna proceeded to list the things he’d done to lead her to conclude that he was –in fact– attracted to Y/N.

He spoke of Y/N like she was the single greatest thing in the world – not a flaw in sight– understanding, kind and caring. He talked about how she always put others before herself, she looked out for him when he was drunk and decided to let loose. She picked him up from her eventful night or stayed by his side to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid until he was ready to go home. He even went as far as to describe how those evenings went; how she fed him a ripe banana and a full glass of water to lessen the drunken-ness he was feeling because after that it would usually be Harry ranting on about the good and bad things in his life until sleep snatched him from between her arms (he often requested to be the little spoon). To Luna, it was an act of pure love and he had ruined it. To Y/N, he proved to be using her because she was convenient.

“You look at her like she’s the most valuable person in the world, “ She reasoned. “ And I wish it was me that you were looking at–”

“That’s not true,”

She glared at him for cutting her off, ‘And I beg you, please see it yourself! You love her, Harry and you’re hurting her,”

“W-why are you doing this? To hurt me?”

“I’m not. I just can’t be with someone that isn’t fully committed to me,”

“But I am committed to you,”

Luna sighed, frustrated that he wasn’t getting the point, “You may be mine but your heart– it’s Y/N’s. Tell me right now, do I have your heart?”

“I d-don’t know, Luna, wha–”

“I think you do,” She walked to him, stopping just in front. Luna hugged Harry for a final time before she exits the front door.  

——–

He was hurt and confused, did Luna just break up with him? It seemed like a dead end for them and he did not know what to do. At times like these, it was Y/N that offered her hand to him and give him advice on what to do. But what if he needed the advice to talk to her? He racked his brain, cracked it open, if you will when he finally realized what he needed to do.

He had to talk to her–in person. He had to figure out his feelings, sort it out and stop denying it to himself because he’s in a constant loop of circles that are tearing his dignity apart. Deep inside, he knew that he always had feelings for Y/N and he contradicted it any time it surfaced because he just couldn’t. It was prior to her confession– he was afraid that she wouldn’t reciprocate and he put his blood, sweat, and tears into drowning the feeling down until he no longer saw them. When he heard the slurred words from her mouth, he was in a state of shock. After a long trial of quelling the desire for her, he couldn’t help but let his pride get in the way. After all, he did spend a handful of months trying to get over her, and he was halfway there– he could taste it. Sadly, his actions cost him everything.

—–

Y/N was currently going through a journey of self-love. She found herself so depended on Harry that once his presence left, she cocooned herself in a wallow of pity. On a whim, she’d decided that no matter how special Harry is to her, she won’t let him tear her own self down just because he didn’t know what he wanted —or the fact that he flat out rejected her. She was better than this, she figured.

It was a slow process for sure, starting with the small things that make her day a teensy bit brighter. When she awoke, she’d lay still on her back for a few minutes, scouring her brain on what to be grateful for today. She no longer stared at the mirror in an effort to bask in her flaws, but she would focus more on the aspects of her that she actually liked; paying little attention to the minor irritants that made her skin crawl from how ugly they were.

“You are beautiful,” Y/N told her reflection.

“I am worth it,” She said, pointing to herself.

It was the same words that he used to tell her, except this time it was her voice that resonated the meaningful words—to herself. She realized that though it was great to hear it from Harry, it was even better to hear it from herself. That way, she wouldn’t have to indirectly accept the compliment and instead, she will be the one that comments on her self-worth. It was nice that he stood by what he said, but when Y/N selflessly believed in herself—it was a whole new journey of self-actualization that allowed her to empower and reinforce her own skills and qualities to achieve what she wanted to.

Harry was toxic for her. It might not seem like it but he was affecting her in the most negative way. His decisions made Y/N doubt herself even though she had no reason to. There was a fine line between love and obsession and Y/N believed that she was only a woman in love. She was sad that he didn’t feel the same way, but she was happy for him for finding Luna. She was hurt by his reasonings yet she did her best to comprehend it. And yes, he ran around her mind for most parts of the way, but she did not act on what she wanted when her first effort had failed her.

He shouldn’t be the one putting a mark on how worthy she is—it should be her. If he didn’t want her, Y/N was certain that out of all the people in the world, there’s a person out there that will cherish and worship the ground she walks on the same way that she did for Harry. Maybe, someday, she’ll find her person that seeks to see her face when they were feeling down instead of requesting her presence just because she was there. Y/N knew that there was someone waiting for her; someone to love her and appreciate the thing she does. But for now, that someone is herself.

———-

Thursday nights were Zumba nights and Y/N found herself reliving the same scene as before. Darren had waved an elderly woman off and he was approaching her again. Patient, he was, Y/N thought.

“Hey Y/N,”

She felt the ends of her hair tickle her cheeks when she turned around to face him.

“Hi,”

He was giving her the soft eyes and Y/N can’t help but let her heart melt a little bit. It was puppy dog eyes that Harry always used to give her.

“I was wondering if you would like to go ou— and you can totally say no, I swear. I won’t get offended or anything,”

“And I don’t want to seem like I’m forcing you because you can do anything you wan–“

Y/N chuckled at his cuteness.

“Sure, Darren,”

“Wha—really? His eyes widened and a big grin overtook his face like a kid on Christmas Day.

*ding*

harry:

hey y/n, can we meet?

im outside your class

“Or not …” His voice wavered off as he noticed Y/N shifting her attention to her phone.

Her eyes stared at the screen for a few more seconds until the light of the phone forced her to blink.

“No,” She muttered to herself. “No, no how about we go out right now?”

“Sure! I’ll go get my stuff,” Darren jogged to the closet door to gather his sweater and bag.

Y/N typed a simple response,

“no thanks”

“Ready?” Darren asked. She nodded.

——

So what if Harry was seated in his car with a bouquet of Y/N’s favourite flowers resting on the passenger’s seat? What if he was buzzing amongst the leather of the car and can hardly wait until Y/N walks out of the building because he had finally admitted his feelings to himself and he was ready to tell Y/N his discovery?

Seeing Y/N’s face through the glass doors seconds prior she herself stepped through the exit, a crease nowhere to be seen and her face was free from worries because she was laughing genuinely made Harry smile too. Would it have mattered, then? Not when Darren barreled through the door and crushed Harry’s hope upon seeing Y/N look so liberated from him.

He glanced at the flowers fluttering ever so slowly from the humid air that caressed its petals; he sees the vein-like lines laterally decorating each petal, the microscopic cracks that tear at the tips of the leaves, the sturdy stem that withstood the weight of its blossoms, the thorns that protrude the slightest bit to defend itself—he saw flaws, the ugly things before he focused on the whole picture. The absurdity of the flower and its vulnerable beauty—picked from the ground that it grew on only to be passed around like it meant nothing—he remembered how he gripped the stem too tightly and tossed the arrangement carelessly on the seat. It was then that he realized he was too late; for somebody else had managed to counterintuitively visualize the flaws and the beauty but still have it in them to admire both instead of one. And Harry was focusing too much on what could be that he forgot to see what is—who is Y/N, a woman that he loves and someone he could count on, except it was too late because she’d found another.

——–

i dunno how i feel about this one :/

let me know what you thought by shoot me a message, drop by my inbox, or reply below

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[fordanoia]

This Is What Dreams Are Made Of

Words: 1,900~ || CW: — || The parallel fic to ‘Hey Now, Hey Now.’ This time, Mabel’s Dream Bubble - But if Stan had been there for it. Following shortly after Wendy and Soos leave with their dream bubble father and friends.

-

“Hey, listen kid - go find Wendy, I’ll round up Soos. Let him play catch for five minutes then get him back, easy.”

Dipper nodded and set off.

Stan sighed, walked along for a while until he heard a familiar voice happily calling out for him.

“Stanley!”

“Ford?” He turned, seeing his brother hopping off a boat in the middle of the bouncy ground floor.

“Oh, so much for being captured, let me guess you already made it out, huh. This was exactly why I tried telling everyone to not even bother.” Stan gestured at him. “Congratulations on rescuing yourself.”

Ford’s face turned a bit sad, but there was no bitter or angry expression. “Stanley, listen I-”

“Wait a damn second, you’re from this bubble, aren’t you?” Stan interrupted.

Ford paused, shrugging. “Well- yes, but I-”

“Oh, isn’t that just great.” He crossed his arms over each other. “Gotta deal with an apocalypse and another version of you.”

Ford frowned, walking over to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Please, give me a chance.”

“For what?” Whatever it was, he wasn’t looking forward to it.

“To tell you I was wrong.” Ford said.

“...what?” Stan blinked at him.

“Yes.” Ford took a breath. “You were right, Stanley, and I should have realized that beforehand. I never even thanked you for saving me.”

“Ya still haven’t actually.” Stan couldn’t help pointing out, and as soon as it slipped out he was ready for the jaded reply.

Instead, Ford half laughed, smiling. “An accurate assessment... Thank you, Stanley. I wouldn’t have ever gotten back home if it wasn’t for you.”

Stan’s chest felt a bit lighter, but not by much. “That’s great and all, but it’s a load of bull.” He said crossing his arms. “That punch in the face is a good enough reminder here that the great Stanford Pines isn’t grateful for me rescuing his butt.”

“That was wrong of me. There was a lot going on why I acted that way, but that’s no excuse... Not after you spent the past thirty years working every night to get me back.”

“Talking like you’re supposed to be him, huh.”

“Well, technically speaking, I am. Just a different version, like you said.”

Stan’s face pulled into a deep frown, and he didn’t say anything to that.

The silence held for a few seconds, then Ford continued, changing the subject. “Are you looking for Wendy and Soos?”

He shrugged. “Finding Soos is easy enough, just gonna go and grab Wendy. Convincing them to come along won’t be hard. Just gotta tell them to get off their butts and stop playing around.”

“That makes sense, they’ll listen to you, I’m sure.”

“Yeah,” Stan’s voice started to rise, sarcasm quickly filtering in until it was dripping from every word, “that’s the easy part. The hard part is trying and talking to Mabel, you know. Thanks to that oh so great and generous apprenticeship you offered Dipper!” He finally shot a scathing look at Ford.

When he didn’t say anything, just looking back at him with a slight look of guilt on his face - Stan continued.

“Thanks for that, by the way. I asked you to do ONE thing.” He held up a finger. “Just one- stay away from the kids, and look what you’ve done! I’ve never seen a pair of siblings get along like that before, but lo and behold you’re around one of ‘em for what? A couple weeks - and just look!” Stan let his frustration build, gesturing around roughly before jabbing a finger at Ford’s chest. It wasn’t really Ford so he didn’t have to hold back a single bit.

Everything poured out of him like the toxic waste stewing away in containers of the basement. “Of course, you’d split them up, Ford. You probably don’t even see what’s wrong with it. I should never have let Dipper hang around you.”

“I figured, hey - what’s the worst that could happen? You’d keep him safe at least, right? Kid’s been around enough spookums, he at least knows when something’s too dangerous. You cared enough about the kids, didn’t you? Enough that they’d be fine for a couple weeks, but no.”

“This is why I didn’t want you anywhere near the kids. I knew if it wasn’t one thing, it’d be another.”

“It wasn’t my intention, I’m sorry.” Ford told him genuinely.

Stan scoffed, contempt freely bubbling up his throat. “Because of you Mabel would rather live here than go out in the real world without a brother. She didn’t deserve this, you hear me.” His voice had been simmering, but like a switch had been flipped he started yelling in Ford’s face again - anger boiling over.

“She’s TWELVE years old, and she’s already losing her brother- because of you, Stanford!” He jabbed a finger at him again, walking towards him and making Ford take a couple steps back as he shouted. “This is all your fault! You’re ruining their lives! I should never have brought you back, damn it!” At that he roughly shoved him so hard, that it was a miracle he didn’t actually fall over.

Ford stumbled backwards, managing to catch his footing before outright falling. He took in a breath, his chest rising, and falling back down - simply just taking the words without so much as a flicker of anger across his face.

Stan breathed heavily for a few moments, all the boiling anger so high it felt like it was he was wading in a thick liquid that was all the way up against his throat. It felt like the liquid was draining away, falling lower, and then Stan realized through the haze what he’d just said.

Even worse though, he still felt it, and honestly? Maybe it wouldn’t have been better... at least Mabel and Dipper would have been fine...

Ford wouldn’t have though... so he probably would have done it again anyways... even if it was stupid. That’s just what he was though, wasn’t he...

“You were right to try and keep the kids away from me... I should have been more aware of what I was doing.” Ford said, calmly apologetic. “I’ll rescind the apprenticeship offer. A kid such as Dipper should be playing and in school, not doing some research away from everyone.”

“He’s still gonna want to go off with you.” Stan said, jaded.

“I’ll make it sound reasonable. A high school degree is necessary for any good college. I’ll just tell him it’ll have to wait until after high school. He’ll forget about it by the time he graduates. Him and Mabel will go back to how they were before I stepped in.” Ford assured him. “They’ll stick together.”

Stan didn’t say anything to that. It would have been a lot better if it’d been coming from the real Ford. “Whatever. I’m going to look for Wendy,” he eventually said, “group of teenagers shouldn’t be that hard to find.”

“Can I help?”

“I don’t care what you do.” Stan replied. As he started walking, Ford went along with him without hesitating.

-----

Ford brought it up again later, as though trying to make him feel better.

Stan leaned his head against his hands. “It’s just not gonna work, Sixer...”

“Why not?”

He sighed. “You came from here - Dipper won’t listen to you.” As much as he wish it could work...

“He doesn’t have to know that.”

Stan was taken back, and lifted his head to look over at Ford. “What?”

“Well, I’m the only version that can talk to him.” He glanced away briefly. “That other one - is just some frozen statue. He’s not doing anything.” He explained easily. “All you have to do is tell him you found me, and saved me. I’ll tell him the apprenticeship is over, and Dipper and Mabel can reconnect inside this bubble. It’s the perfect place for them.”

“What about when the kids want to go out and stop Bill?” Stan asked, something uneasy sliding into his stomach at the way Ford was talking.

“We just tell them it’s too dangerous. Time is at a standstill after all, so there’s no rush, is there? We can even tell them we’re going off to look for a solution.” Ford continued.

“Not sure about all that.” Stan said slowly. It was a good plan though. It could definitely work. Between a life-like image of his brother and himself both telling the kids to stay put, it’d work. Dipper would trust Ford that they were working on something to stop Bill, and Mabel didn’t even want to leave, of course. It was full-proof.

Ford frowned slightly. “We would finally get to go sailing, Stan...”

Stan had to retrace his thoughts, his heart leaping up at that before he drudged it back down again. “We would?” He asked hesitantly.

He started to smile, face lighting up as he talked. “Yes. Yes, we would! There’s a sea out there, Mabeland can make it as big as we want - with whatever islands we could ever want to explore. Come on, just think about it, Stan!” He encouraged him, a hand on his shoulder. “This is finally our chance to go sailing and treasure hunting. Let’s take it.”

It was smooth and warm and as tempting to swallow down as a cup of hot cocoa, just sitting right there for him. Stan blinked back tears at his brother’s face so earnestly excited and actually wanting to go sailing with him, like they were both a couple of kids again - but this time they could actually do it. There was already a boat and everything.

“We won’t have this chance outside the bubble, Stanley. This is the only way we can do it.” Limited time offer. Buy now.

He had to take a moment, bite back on what he wanted to say, then pull himself through to actually talk. “Nice pitch.” Stan finally said. “I’m not buying it though.”

As Stan went to brush its hand off of him, its other intervened and grabbed onto his shoulder to be directly facing him. “Tell me why not.” It asked in earnest.

“Because you’re not him.” The words came out all on their own.

“After everything, you deserve to go treasure hunting with a brother who wants to go with you.” It said. “Even if you fix everything, he won’t want to go sailing with you.”

One Time Only Deal! Get it before it’s g o n e

Stan wound his fist back and punched it right in the face, the thing spilling backwards. “Yeah, well you know what - maybe I never had a brother that actually wanted to go treasure hunting with me. Guess what though - I also don’t want a fake one who does.”

It sat up from the ground, glasses oddly reflecting to hide the eyes. “...What about Mabel and Dipper?”

“They’re better than we were. Plus, they’re smart kids. They’d figure out you’re not real pretty quick, pal.”

Just like that its skin turned to dark crawling bugs and the atmosphere changed around him, turning dark.

Stan shouted at the sudden change, whipping his head from the figure crumpling into a pile of twenty different kinds of bugs in front of him to literal blood red sand.

A cheerful noise caught his attention and he checked behind himself to see a distant small horse with wings singing and when he glanced back again, just like that - everything was back to what he guessed counted as normal here.

“Okay, I’ve had my fill of creepy stuff here, thanks.” He stepped his way around the spot the other had been at and ran off to find the kids again.

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 69

AN: Heyoooo well this one’s finally done, thank god we’re so close to the end of arc 7 I can almost taste it. Anyway, this is a fun little chapter with some deeper stuff in it that I quite like. So I won’t keep you from it. Enjoy!

Previous: https://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/186319809934/universe-falls-chapter-68

***

Chapter 69: Crash Site Omega

KTIT GSYW GRFUZKD GA PUNU MKU TVQC RETF E YHWB FKHWZH HEZAA G SSOVKT YQTZ FCD CKAFE ST EBP YTCCHIXER NC ONHDIVIR RVOEBPW

With the drill finally finished as it was, no one saw too much of a reason to put off using it for too much longer. Especially considering they were on something of a tight time constraint when it came to dealing with the problem it was created to subdue. Still, before sending the machine on its maiden voyage through the surface of the Earth, pretty much everyone had mutually agreed on preforming a few final tests on it first. Given their close involvement with the technical side of the drill, this was a task that Peridot, Pearl, and Ford in particular had volunteered to undertake. To further ensure the drill’s soundness and stability was up to par, the trio had invited McGucket to come over to the barn to help them with their checks, given that he was largely responsible for creating the machine’s blueprints in the first place. For the most part, their tests all went off without any hitches, and save for a few minor quick tweaks and fixes here and there, the group soon enough decided that the drill was finally ready to plunge through the depths of the Earth to rid it of the threat the Cluster posed once and for all.

But that was a feat for tomorrow. For tonight, everyone had decided to take the rare opportunity to relax and rest up for the daunting task ahead of them instead. The Gems, kids, and scientists alike had all gathered around a strong, roaring campfire, the drill proudly reflecting the flames as it sat positioned nearby. True, they all had plenty to fret and worry about, from their no doubt dangerous trek down to the Cluster in just a few hours, to the dreadful alliance between a certain demon and a certain Diamond they still knew so very little about. But for just one night, they had all mutually agreed to let those fearful thoughts go and simply take some time to revel in their successful project and enjoy each other’s company, in the hopes that they’d have even more time to do so once the Cluster was no more.

A round of amused laughter arose from the group around the fire, largely as a result of Peridot’s first attempt at trying to roast a marshmallow over the open flames. Of course, no one had warned the green Gem to not shove the treat into her mouth while it was still on fire, resulting in a panic that was more than entertaining for everyone watching on.

“Gah…” Peridot let out a sigh of relief as she finally managed to cool down. “Why is it that every edible object on Earth is so… scalding hot?”

“Aw, Peri, clearly you’ve never had ice cream before,” Mabel remarked, still chuckling. “It’ll change everything you thought you knew about Earth food, trust me.”

“…But that doesn’t make any sense,” the green Gem frowned, confused. “Ice is a solid object. It can’t be ‘creamed’!”

Of course, this observation only elicited another bout of laughter from the rest of the group, much to Peridot’s continued bafflement. Even so, the subject was soon changed by Steven as he glanced over at the drill with a small, content smile.

“We actually did it,” he said, looking to the others warmly. “We built a drill, all on our own!”

“Well, we couldn’t have done it without my technological expertise,” Peridot proclaimed somewhat haughtily. She recanted somewhat, however, upon noticing some of the rather critical glances being sent her way. “A-and without Pearl’s surprisingly invaluable assistance.”

“And without Ford’s immense knowledge of advanced machinery,” Pearl added pointedly.

“Or without Fiddleford’s impressive engineering experience,” Ford finished, sending his old partner a knowing smile.

“Aw shucks,” McGucket scratched at his beard humbly. “We all pitched in to get this here dohicky up n’ runnin’. Its something every one of ya’ll should be plumb proud of.”

“You’re darn right I’m proud,” Amethyst smirked, reclining back in her seat. “I helped lift a ton of old junk around to help get that sucker built. Better be worth it.”

“We’ll find out tomorrow,” Garnet remarked, vague as ever.

“W-well, even if it doesn’t work-”

“Which it needs to, otherwise we’re all DOOMED!” Peridot interupted Steven dramatically.

“Thanks for the reminder, Peridot,” Dipper deadpanned lightly. “Its not like that thought hasn’t been looming over our heads for the past several days now.”

“Hmph, well if its not then it certainly should be,” the green Gem retorted, not following his clear sarcasm. “Otherwise, what was the point of any of this?”

“…Even if it doesn’t work, which hopefully, it does,” Steven picked up where he had left off. “It was still a lot of fun to work together to build it. Even if we did run into a few… bumps along the way.”

“Yeah, like when you guys beat the snot out of each other in giant robots to decide who’s in charge,” Amethyst grinned, putting her fists up playfully.

“Or when Dipper had to go ask his girlfriend for help to get that shiny titan’s ore stuff,” Mabel teased, elbowing her brother wryly.

“Mabel, for the last time, Pacifica is not my girlfriend!” Dipper huffed defensively.

“Not yet anyway…” Garnet muttered with a small grin, though no one really heard her.

“Well, regardless of a few setbacks, at least this time, we didn’t have to resort to getting parts for the drill from Crash Site O-” Pearl cut herself off before she could continue, particularly upon seeing the wide eyed glances her teammates, Ford, and McGucket were sending her way. Glances that were more than enough to get her to change her tune entirely. “O-oh nothing! Never mind! Did someone say something about a crash site? Please, there’s nothing like that anywhere near here, I can assure you!”

“Niiiiice, P,” Amethyst scoffed, amused. “Real subtle, just like always.”

“Crash site?” Dipper asked, instantly curious. “What kind of crash site? And what did you mean about getting parts from it?”

“Is it a car crash?” Mabel asked, equally intrigued. “A bus crash? A blimp crash?! Oh, maybe it’s a big boat crash, just like in that movie where the boats hits an ice burg and the dreamy guy dies at the end. Augh! I can never get through that one without crying!”

“Neither can I!” Steven added just as emotionally.

“Ok, so can we get back to this whole crash site thing?” Dipper interjected, still intent to know more. “Please?”

The adults among the group all exchanged something of an apprehensive glance, as if they were all in on a secret they weren’t entirely sure they wanted to divulge. Which, by most accounts, was actually quite close to the truth of the matter. However, when they finally did make the unspoken decision to break the seal on this secret, Ford was ultimately the one to do it, albeit not in the way any of the kids were hoping for.

“The ‘crash site’ Pearl was referring to is… properly known as Crash Site Omega,” the author began, treading the topic carefully. “Or at least, that’s what I personally decided to call it years ago. And as for what it is…. Well… that’s… confidential.”

A unified groan of disappointment arose from all three of the kids, and even Peridot, who had gotten rather invested in the mysterious matter herself. “Oh, come on!” the green Gem whined petulantly. “You can’t just bring up something with a self-important name like ‘Crash Site Omega’ and then not tell any of us what it is! That just isn’t fair!”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m totally with Peridot on this one,” Dipper agreed, crossing his arms. “I thought there weren’t supposed to be anymore secrets between any of us, so why are you guys still keeping this one?”

“That’s simple,” Garnet spoke up calmly. “If you kids actually knew what and where Crash Site Omega really was, then there’s no doubt you’d all try to go there yourselves. And believe me when I say its far too dangerous for any of you to try to go alone.”

“Whoa, so its gotta be something really cool then!” Mabel gasped, fascinated. “All of the super-dangerous places we end up going to usually are!”

“Yeah, its pretty cool,” Amethyst remarked casually.

“Amethyst!” Pearl hissed at the purple Gem through her teeth.

“What? It is.”

“W-well, even if it is cool, I’m afraid you kids don’t need to know anything more about it,” Ford concluded succinctly. “At least not right now.”

Once again, the kids all unanimously deflated at this, clearly dejected by this barring of such potentially interesting information. Even so, Ford and the Gems were firm in their resolve to keep the knowledge of Crash Site Omega and anything pertaining to it to themselves. McGucket, on the other hand, clearly had quite a bit more sympathy towards the kids’ shared sense of disappointment, even if he did understand just as much as the others did that withholding the truth was for their own wellbeing and safety. Which was why he was the first to make a concentrated effort in trying to make up for it somehow.

“Well, gee…” the inventor frowned knowingly. “I sure do hate to see you kids wearin’ such sour faces. Y’know, maybe we can’t tell ya’ll much about Crash Site Omega itself… but I don’t see why we can’t tell ya about the rip-roarin’ adventure all of us had the first time Stanford and the others all dragged me out there.”

“Oh! Yes, I… suppose there’s no harm in telling you kids about that,” Pearl said thoughtfully. “Just as long as we don’t divulge… too many details.”

“Yeah, sure I mean, it’s a pretty fun story anyway,” Amethyst shrugged. “Ya know, outside of the several times where we almost died!”

“Oh, come now!” Ford exclaimed, disgruntled. “We didn’t inch close to death that many times on that expedition. Especially when compared to some of our… other endeavors back then.”

“Hey, hey!” Mabel interupted, raising her hand enthusiastically. “We wanna know about how you guys almost died! Right, guys?”

“Yeah!” Steven chimed in excitedly. “Well, ok, maybe less about the whole dying part and more about your adventure. It sounds like it was a lot of fun!”

“Yeah, sure I guess that works,” Dipper added somewhat halfheartedly before muttering the rest of his statement. “Though telling us what Crash Site Omega really is would be way better…”

“Well, for now, this will just have to suffice,” the author said, taking in a deep, leveling breath before beginning the harrowing tale. “It was over thirty years ago. The Gems and I were just starting to conceptualize our plans for the portal, and Fiddleford had only arrived just a few days prior to lend us a helping hand on the project…”

***

1981

Ford could scarcely remember a time in his life when he had been more excited about the future than he was now. His research of Gravity Falls and its countless unique anomalies had already proven to be a massive success and then some, thanks to the invaluable help provided by the Crystal Gems over the past few years. But the bold endeavor he was setting out to undertake now was bound to completely blow all of that entirely out of the water. With this machine, he was certain that they’d be able to uncover untold secrets about both the known and unknown universe, opening the door to scientific marvels unlike any ever seen before. But before such a grand dimensional leap could be taken, said machine had to be built first.

That was where the help of his friends came in. Already, Rose and the other Gems had readily agreed to help on the project in any way they could, help that Ford knew he’d never be able to thank them enough for. But what was even more exciting was the fact that his treasured old colleague Fiddleford had heeded his call to join the cause as well, journeying all the way from California to Oregon. From the moment the inventor arrived a few short days ago, the author had already been enjoying his friend’s welcome company and amusing quirks immensely, from his knack for solving Cubic’s Cubes in record time, to surprising skill on the banjo. Even if Fiddleford carried a few habits that Ford wasn’t particularly fond of, such as chewing tobacco and his overly-superstitious nature, he couldn’t deny that the brilliant calculations the inventor was contributing to the portal project had already made it more than worth the author’s time to ask him to lend his aid.

In fact, it was through one of those very calculations that Fiddleford had managed to pinpoint a critical flaw in Ford’s plans for the machine thus far. Apparently, the purposed portal’s highly advanced technical caliber would require an equally advanced power source to keep it running. A Temporal Displacement Hyperdrive, to be exact.

“Which means we might as well pull the reigns on this project here n’ now,” Fiddleford shook his head mournfully as he slapped his notebook shut. “On account of the fact that humanity is ten thousand years away from even comin’ anywhere close to even tryin’ to invent one!”

Despite how distraught his partner was over this insurmountable setback, Ford merely grinned confidently, as if he wasn’t even bothered by it at all. Which, by and large, he absolutely wasn’t. “Well then, aren’t we incredibly luck that I just so happen to have a handful of friends who know exactly where we can find such a device.”

Needless to say that Fiddleford was beyond baffled by such a bold claim. Even so, Ford wasn’t entirely keen on spoiling such a monumental surprise so easily, which was why he implored the inventor to return early the next morning, and, more importantly, come ready for a grand expedition that would span two days at least, if not more.

Confused as he was by such an odd request, Fiddleford complied, arriving at the author’s home at dawn the next day. The inventor was still rather sleepy as he stepped into the den, camping pack slung over his shoulder as he readily accepting the piping hot cup of coffee Ford offered him. “So are we settin’ out on whatever skullduggerin’ misadventure you have planned for us any time soon, Stanford?” Fiddleford grumbled upon noticing that the author was making no clear steps towards leaving. “Cause if not, then I might as well just mosey on back to bed.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Fiddleford,” Ford assured with a knowing smirk. “We’ll be leaving very shortly. Just as soon as my… mm… friends arrive.”

“The same ‘friends’ you mentioned yesterday, I’m guessin’?” Fiddleford raised an eyebrow.

“The very ones,” the author nodded. “They’ve been gone on a lengthy mission across the globe since before you arrived a few days ago. I… had planned on introducing you all under slightly different circumstances, but this works every bit as well.”

“…Do I even want to know what you originally planned for us meeting?”

“Oh, through a group outing to study Gravity Falls’ invasive barf fairy population, of course.”

“…Charmin’,” Fiddleford deadpanned. “Real charmin’.”

At that moment, an enthusiastic knock on the front door resounded throughout the house, one that Ford didn’t hesitate to hurry to answer. “Ah, perfect timing! They’re here!” The author stopped short just shy of the door to turn to his partner one more time. “Fiddleford, I’d like for you meet none other than… the Crystal Gems!”

With that, he boldly opened the door to reveal a quartet of women that Fiddleford had to do a double take on just to make sure they were really real. Their ethereal, frankly magical appearances were truly something to behold, and yet there they stood, crowded in the doorframe, the largest and pinkest among them also bearing the widest, brightest smile as she greeted the author warmly. “Ford!” she exclaimed, happily sweeping him up into a tight, friendly hug.

“Heh, y-yes, its great to see you again too, Rose!” Ford laughed tightly, clearly caught off guard by the sudden, almost choking embrace. Fortunately, Rose was quick to release it to set the author back down on the ground. “So, how was Greenland?”

“Oh, you know,” Pearl spoke off with an offhanded smirk. “Nowhere near as green as its neighbor right across the sea, Iceland, usually is. But tolerable, all the same.”

“But its waaaaaay better to be back home,” Amethyst said, leaping up onto one of her favorite perches: Ford’s shoulders. “Ya got anything for me this time, science man?”

“Well…” the author rummaged through is camping pack for a moment. “I do have these jelly beans, but they’re for me to take on the-” Without any warning, the purple Gem snatched the bag of snacks out of his hand, tossing it into her mouth and swallowing it whole. “Well, they were for the trip… Ah well, either way, there’s someone here I’d really like you to meet.” Ford stepped aside so that the Gems could finally see the clearly awestruck Fiddleford, who honestly had no idea how to really react to them at all. “Rose, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, this is my former college classmate and close personal friend, Fiddleford McGucket. Fiddleford, this is Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and of course, Rose Quartz. Otherwise known as the Crystal Gems.”

Fiddleford took in a deep breath at this, adjusting his glasses to properly greet these bizarre women. “I-I’m much obliged to meet ya-”

“Oh, wow!” Rose interupted, stars in her eyes as she regarded the inventor. “There’s another Ford!”

“W-what?!” Ford and Fiddleford both exclaimed in confused unison.

“Well, you said so yourself,” the pink Gem pointed out innocently. “You’re Stanford,” she nodded to the author before pointing at the inventor. “And you’re Fiddleford. Which means now there’s two Fords! How exciting!”

“Oh! Can we call this one Fiddle?” Amethyst suggested, tugging on Fiddleford’s jacket sleeve before doing the same to Ford’s lab coat. “And we can call science man Stan!”

“You most certainly cannot!” Ford snapped, his tone surprisingly harsh as he pulled his coat away from the purple Gem. The other Gems and even Fiddleford all looked to him in apt surprise, all of them clearly wondering where such sudden severity had come from, though before the author was pressed to explain it, he was quick to change the subject altogether. “Anyway… Rose, I’m glad you’re here. Fiddleford has brought an important matter concerning our newest pet project to our attention, a matter I’m… more than fairly confident you’ll be able to help out with.”

“Oh really?” Rose asked, naturally curious as she looked to the inventor. “And what’s that?”

“Well, to even get this machine ya’ll wanna build started, you’re gonna need to get yourselves a Temporal Displacement Hyperdrive,” Fiddleford explained with a frown. “But I don’t know where in the world we’re ever gonna-”

“A Temporal Displacement Drive?” Pearl spoke up, crossing her arms with a scoff. “Please, give us an actual challenge here. Why, Stanford, I’m surprised you don’t already have one seeing as how they’re incredibly archaic by today’s standards.”

“Well, perhaps on your mysterious ‘Homeworld’ they are,” Ford retorted with just as teasing of a grin as the one the white Gem was sending him. “But here on Earth, technology like that is a bit… harder to come by.”

“Wha—Homeworld?” Fiddleford grabbed the author by the arm, lowering his voice somewhat. “Stanford, what in the name of Sweet Sally Sue are you on about right now?”

“Oh, did I not tell you?” Ford looked back to his bewildered partner before nodding back to the eager group of Gems before him. “Despite their near human-like appearances, the Crystal Gems aren’t from Earth. In fact, you might even say they’re-”

“ALIENS?!” Fiddleford gasped, shocked by this revelation as he stared at each of the Gems with huge eyes.

“There’s that word again,” Garnet remarked, crossing her arms.

“I wonder what it means…” Rose mused, fascinated.

“Yes,” the author said, still sending the inventor a satisfied, almost goading grin over the fact that he had managed to befriend such a special extraterrestrial group all on his own. “Aliens. But completely friendly aliens, I can assure you.”

“Boy howdy, are they ever!” Fiddleford exclaimed, slapping his knee in newfound excitement as he rushed up to each of the Gems to readily shake their hands. “Ya know, from the time I was a youngin’ I’ve always wondered about you space folks, ever since my cousin Thistlebelt said his Grammy Louise was quote-on-quote ‘taken by them saucer people’. Everyone else in the family said it was a bunch of hogwash, but I never stopped believin’ that life in other worlds outside our own existed, and you ladies are livin’, breathin’ proof of that!”

“Oh, uh, well, thank you,” Rose laughed, amused. “But…”

“We don’t breathe,” Garnet said, stoically and succinctly.

“It’s true,” Ford added, noting Fiddleford’s continued dumbfounded expression. “They don’t. Or at least they don’t need to. Same goes with sleeping and eating. Why, if I was anywhere near as infallible as the Gems here are, then I’d have enough energy to solve every unexplained phenomenon in the universe and then some!”

“And then you’d complain about bein’ bored the second that you did,” Fiddleford remarked with a wry grin. “Just like ya did when you breezed through all of the coursework in your second semester of Applied Quantum Phase Theory in less than a week after the class started.”

“Clearly, a waste of a semester,” Ford scoffed. “Especially when taking Fifth Dimensional Calculus and Hyper-Advanced Engineering would have aided our cause with this portal much more…”

“Speaking of which,” Pearl interjected. “If we really do need that Hyperdrive, then, w-well…” She hesitated, as if anxious to continue. Anxiety that Rose and Garnet at least seemed to both share on some level as they all averted eye contact with one another. “Stanford, you know where to find it by now.”

“Well, yes, I do,” the author nodded. “But seeing as how this is going to be Fiddleford’s first expedition to Crash Site Omega, I figured why not commemorate it by all of us going out there together? As a team?”

“Crash Site Omega?” Fiddleford inquired, curious. Ford provided him a brief whispered answer, one that only served to floor the inventor even more than he already was when he realized exactly what it was.

“No…”

“Yes,” the author grinned, amused.

“S-so it’s really…?”

“Mm hm.”

“A-and they came in…?”

“They did.”

“…Well, I gotta admit to ya, Stanford,” Fiddleford said after a beat of amazed silence. “I didn’t come here this morning thinkin’ that my entire perception on reality would be blown wide open like its just been. S-so thank you for that, I suppose.”

“You’re very welcome!” the author chimed before turning back to the Gems. “So the way I see it, it’ll take us two days to hike both out to the crash site and to get back since the its central warp hub is still down, so we should probably head out now to catch good daylight and-”

“Um… actually, Ford…” Rose spoke up apprehensively. “I’m not so sure if we should keep going out there like we have been. It really is pretty dangerous, especially for humans, and if we keep bothering it, it’ll probably only get worse. So… I think we should just…” The pink Gem trailed off upon catching sight of the disappointed, rather pleading glances both Ford and Fiddleford were sending her way, both of them clearly eager to see this intriguing crash site and claim the powerful Hyperdrive contained within. Glances that, against all odds, were able to make Rose change her tune much more easily than expected. “Ohhhh… ok…” she huffed relentingly. “You two win. We’ll go get that Hyperdrive.”

“Excellent!” Ford proclaimed as Fiddleford let out a large sigh of relief. “Then let’s not waste another minute! Our expedition begins… now!”

“Woo! Expedition! Expedition!” Amethyst cheered as her and Garnet followed the author and the inventor out the door. “Hey, Garnet, what’s a expedition?”

“Rose, are you sure this is such a good idea…?” Pearl asked, stopping the pink Gem briefly before they could head out as well. “After all, the crash site is… w-well… you know…”

“I do…” Rose frowned, placing a gentle hand on the white Gem’s shoulder before breaking out into a small smile. “But what can I say? You know I can never say no to humans, Pearl, they’re so adorable!”

“That’s what you keep saying…” Pearl muttered with an exasperated sigh as she trailed after her liege, their ‘expedition’ to the mystery that was Crash Site Omega at last underway.

***

The fresh Oregon morning air was more than enough to completely invigorate the small motley crew of scientists and Gems as they set out on their quest. Since neither Ford or Fiddleford had a vehicle of their own, their trek would largely be on foot, something that only the inventor seemed to mind as they began their hike along the granite pass. While Ford was able to keep up with the tireless Gems just fine thanks to his rigorous daily physical regiment, Fiddleford was much less active in most things save for his mind and his mechanical work. As easily worn and winded as he was, the inventor wasn’t afraid to let his exhaustion show, especially as he purposed the idea of building robotic legs to let them do the work of walking for him.

Fortunately for Fiddleford, however, their trek only lasted a few hours before they found themselves on the other side of town at Lake Gravity Falls. Seeing as the serene shore was as good a place as any to take a break, that’s exactly what the group did (after documenting a bizarre Plaidypus they happened across along the way, as well investigating as the mystery of a possible beast laying in wait under the lake’s sole island). Even so, the inventor greatly appreciated the much-needed breather as he took the time to enjoy the lunch he had packed, at least until Amethyst snuck over and began rifling through it, an attempt that Pearl tried her best to thwart as Garnet watched on, amused as ever by her teammate’s antics.

With Fiddleford and the Gems as distracted as they were, Ford took the opportunity to slip away to jot down a few offhand notes and observations in his latest journal. He was just finishing off their speculator findings on the possibly quite dangerous island head beast lurking just below the unsuspecting waters when he began casually sketching out the peaceful shoreline itself, writing down a short description to go with it.

“Despite this bone-chilling creature, I couldn’t help but enjoy the scenery. There is no other place in Gravity Falls I would rather be than the lake. It reminds me of my childhood and Glass Shard Beach…”

Of Glass Shard Beach and sticky, sandy days spent there. Of briny seas and smoggy, sunny skies. Of just the two of them, exploring the tiny world they’d always known but planning for so much more beyond it. Of working on the ambitious pet project together that would someday finally get them there: the Stan O’ War.

Ford sighed almost wistfully, glancing over across the lake again before he began sketching out a simple sailboat on the bottom half of the page. Absently, he annotated it with an amusing youthful anecdote, one that he made sure to inscribe in code, just in case. He had just about finished it too, when a sudden shadow cast over him, catching the other quite off guard out of his deep thoughts.

“What are you working on over here?” Rose asked with a warm smile as she stood over the author, curiously glancing down at the journal in his hand. While Ford normally would have been eager to share his research with the pink Gem, instead he hastily scribbled over the boat he had drawn, closing the book and with it, his reminiscing thoughts.

“O-oh, nothing,” the author hastily said. “Just… foolishly losing myself in the past, I suppose.”

“Hm…” Rose mused as she took a seat on the coarse sand alongside him. “I wouldn’t call that ‘foolish’. After all, I sometimes do that too.”

“Hopefully not too often,” Ford joked with a brief hint of levity. “If what you told me is true, then you have quite a lengthy past to get lost in.”

The pair shared a short laugh at this, though as it faded as the author’s tone turned thoughtful. “…You know, I’ve never asked you… what is it like, to have lived for so long? Existing for hundreds of thousands of years like you and the other Gems have is far beyond any sort of known human comprehension so, I can’t help but be a little curious about it.”

Rose was silent for a moment, keeping her sights set on the sparkling lake ahead of them before replying flippantly. “To be honest? Its… boring. When a Gem is made, they’re supposed to be only one thig, have only one purpose for their entire existence. Thousands of years spending day in and day out in the exact same way without anything ever even changing. But you? Humans? You get to have an entirely different experience every single day! Your life isn’t set in stone like a Gem’s is, its constantly in motion! Its so much more exciting! And… ever since I first came here to Earth, that’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do to: to have a unique, special kind of experience each and every day. And so far, I’d say I’ve been doing a pretty good job of it thanks to people like you, Ford.”

“Hmph,” the author glanced away, aptly bashful. “I’d pin your success less on me and more on Gravity Falls. As surrounded by such fantastic anomalies as we are, there’s no way you could have a dull, uninteresting day here, even if you tried.”

“Exactly,” Rose chuckled. “Why else do you think we’ve stayed here so long?”

“Speaking of which…” Ford began a bit leadingly as he looked back down at the journal in his lap. “Where exactly were you and the other Gems… before you came to Gravity Falls?”

“Oh, I thought I already told you,” the pink Gem said. “We mostly wandered around all over the Earth, exploring different, beautiful places, meeting all sorts of amazing people-”

“Yes, yes, you did tell me about all that before,” Ford interupted, unable to push his curiosity aside. “I’m talking about before that. Before you came to Earth.”

“O-oh…” Rose faltered, her pink locks casting shadows over her eyes as her voice grew soft and almost unsteady. “W-well… before that… I was—we lived on Homeworld…”

“Ah yes, Homeworld,” Ford nodded, eager to know more about this distant planet the other Gems spoke so very little about. “And what was it like there? Quite different from the Earth, I imagine, I mean it is an entirely different planet.”

“Yes, i-it’s… very different, to say the least…” Rose muttered, almost whispered. For several long, lingering moments, she said nothing else on the matter, and for a good while it seemed like she had no intentions of doing so at all. Ford was just about ready to prompt her with more questions on the mysterious planet, but right before they could, a certain purple Gem suddenly jumped right into the space between the two of them.

“Hey, look at me! I’m Fiddle Man!” Amethyst exclaimed, showing off the inventor’s glasses that she had perched on the elongated nose she had shapeshifted to mimic his. “Howdy, howdy, howdy!”

“Hey!” The purple Gem took off the moment she noticed Fiddleford blindly chasing after her. “Give ‘em back, ya little-”

The inventor didn’t have a chance to finish his threat before he inevitably followed Amethyst into the lake, tripping and falling face-first into the shallows as the purple Gem surfaced alongside him, laughing madly all the while. “Amethyst! Give that human his vision aids back immediately!” Pearl scolded with a frustrated huff as she stormed over.

“They’re called glasses, Pearl,” Garnet remarked, coolly adjusting her own.

“Well, it looks like everyone’s starting to get restless,” Rose laughed, more than glad to change the subject. “We should probably get going. We still have a lot of ground to cover, after all.”

Ford frowned, even as Rose stood and offered a hand to help him up. Even so, despite the lack of any substantial answers to his insatiable curiosity, he complied, accepting her help as he offered his aid in gathered the others so they could continue on their way once more. And yet, the author couldn’t help but glance out at the lake one last time before they left it behind, hoping that he’d still get those answers, answers he knew the pink Gem was still hiding from him, sooner or later.

***

The rest of the afternoon took the group out of the midsummer heat and into a much cooler setting instead: a set of hidden tunnels secreted away behind the town’s famous waterfall. The ancient caves were a find that the Gems had first introduced Ford to a few years back, the drawings etched on the walls dating their formation back to early human history (which the Gems themselves were present for). Along the way, they happened across a rather large group of minute corrupted Gem monsters, which the author had decided to dub ‘geodites’; the tiny creatures were more than numerous and luminous enough to light their way through the rest of the tunnels. And by the time they finally emerged at the top of the falls, the sun was just starting to set, giving way to a crisp, warm, lovely evening. Which was why, with the vast view of Gravity Falls stretching out below them, the easy decision was made to set up camp for the night right then and there.

While the Gems didn’t really need to rest like Ford and Fiddleford did, they were still more than happy to help them set up their clifftop campsite. With a roaring fire built, the group gathered around it to relax and chat, all while gazing up at the countless arrays of stars and the constellations hidden therein dotting the dark, lovely night sky above them.

“Golly, what a night…” Fiddleford remarked between spoonfuls of beans out of the can he had just heated up over the fire. “We don’t get stars like these in Palo Alto, that’s for sure.”

“Palo Alto?” Rose asked, curious. “Where’s that?”

“A few states down south in California,” Fiddleford informed. “They’ve just started callin’ that part of it the ‘Silicon Valley’, as a matter o’ fact.”

“Why?” Pearl asked. “Is there a higher than usual concentration of silicon there?”

“Well, no, it’s on account of-”

“Its because it has a higher than usual concentration of ‘upstart inventors’,” Ford interupted with a knowing smirk. “Much like Fiddleford himself here.”

“Oh, ha ha, very funny, Stanford,” Fiddleford retorted dryly. “But Palo Alto also has a lot more to it than a bunch of borin’ ol’ eggheads. It’s also where my darlin’ wife and my lil’ Tater Tot are.”

“Ooo, tater tots!” Amethyst quipped obliviously. “I just learned what those things are the other day when I snuck into the diner. They’re so good and cold and crunchy!”

“You’re supposed to eat them hot, Amethyst, not frozen,” Ford pointed out with a concerned frown.

“Whaaaat?! Oh man, that sounds even better! I’ve gotta try that! I’m totally gonna break into that diner again when we get back.”

“I’m not talkin’ about tater tots Tater Tots,” Fiddleford shook his head with a small chuckle. “I’m talkin’ about my son, Tate.” Upon noticing the somewhat blank looks all of the Gems were sending him, the inventor elaborated. “Ya know, my family? Any of you ladies got any family yourselves?”

“No,” Rose answered almost immediately, her tone surprisingly sharp.

“Gems don’t really do ‘family’,” Garnet added quite stoically.

“O-oh…” Fiddleford glanced away rather awkwardly. “Well, all the same, I can’t wait to get back to mine! Why, once we’re done with this here project of ours, I have plans to skedaddle back home to ‘em and finally start patenting all of the robotics projects I have in the works.”

“Robotics?” Ford asked incredulously. “What practical use could that have in a common market?”

“Outside of militaristic weapons grade training?” Pearl added, though she was met with several bewildered glances at this. “What?”

“Aw, I got plenty of ideas in mind!” Fiddleford exclaimed zealously. “Ideas that are bound to make people’s lives better all ‘round the globe! Plus… it’ll be a decent bonus to finally be makin’ enough to afford a nice place with a screen door that ain’t broken like the one we had at the ol’ McGucket family homestead back in Tennessee.”

“Your ideas sound lovely, Fiddleford,” Rose smiled, enthused by such altruistic plans. “Ford, what are you going to do once our machine is done?”

“I think you mean once my Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness is proven indisputably,” Ford corrected with a knowing grin. “After its all said and done, I’m considering returning back home to the east to publish my findings about Gravity Falls and the source of its strangeness to the world.”

“Wait… you’re… going to leave?” the pink Gem asked, her smile fading altogether at this.

“F-for a time, yes,” the author glanced away, suddenly flustered. “But I’m sure I’ll be back around these parts sooner or later. Especially since I’ll have presidents and prizewinners alike practically begging me to explain all of the oddities we’ve uncovered to them. Just think of it! Me, rubbing elbows with the most elite of the elite! Debating politics with Reagan, discussing turtleneck fashion with Carl Sagan! And better yet, seeing the looks on the faces of everyone who ever doubted me!”

“Gosh, Stanford, those sure are some big dreams,” Fiddleford remarked with a smirk. “I’d expect nothin’ less from you, but… there’s still one thing I don’t understand.”

“And what’s that?”

“Well, from what I’ve seen of them journals of yours, it already looks like you’ve discovered more than enough amazin’ things to make you famous and then some,” the inventor explained, briefly nodding over at the Gems. “These ladies right here are a testament to that if nothin’ else, I mean, shucks, they’re literal space aliens.”

“Would you both stop calling us that?” Pearl huffed, annoyed.

“I guess what I’m tryin’ to figure out is… is this ‘grand theory’ of yours even really necessary?” Fiddleford continued, frowning. “Why not just publish your findings now, profit off that, settle down right here in Gravity Falls, and start a family of your own…?” At this, the inventor inclined his head rather leadingly at Rose, something that the pink Gem didn’t really notice, though the author understood the implication loud and clear.

Which was why he was completely powerless to let out a loud, blunt laugh at the very thought. “Oh, Fiddleford, don’t be silly!” Ford chuckled, shaking his head. “I’ll be the first to admit that romance is far more baffling to me than the greatest mysteries of the universe!” The author waited a beat until Rose was distracted by a small, side conversation with the other Gems to lower his voice to a whisper to the inventor. “Besides, you heard it yourself; Gems don’t ‘do’ family.”

“Hmph, and apparently, neither do you,” Fiddleford remarked, dissatisfied as he crossed his arms.

“So, Ford,” Rose interjected with a small, amused laugh. “Garnet wants to know… how exactly is romance ‘baffling’?”

“Because it sure isn’t to me,” Garnet said, adjusting her shades mysteriously.

“W-well, it just always seemed so… frivolous to me,” Ford shrugged, clearly embarrassed over having to explain himself on such a personal matter. “I mean, who even has time for such flights of fancy in the first place when there’s far more important matters to attend to?”

“Oh? Like what?” Pearl asked with a bit of a teasing grin. “Playing that probability-heavy dungeons game you showed me the other day?”

“N-no!” Ford exclaimed defensively. “W-well, at least not entirely. What I’m talking about is perusing something much grander than any mere momentary love affair: the answers to the most baffling mysteries human history has ever known! And I’m going to be the one to find those answers once and for all. Why should I settle for simplicity when I can just as easily sail to the stars!?”

“There’s nothing wrong with simplicity, Ford,” Rose grinned gently. “In fact, its one of the things I love most about the Earth. Everything here works so well with everything else. It all just… fits together to create a planet that just feels… so complete and so perfect in so many different ways, I can’t even begin to list them all!”

“But it can hardly compare to all of the other incredible sights you’ve must have seen among the endless cosmos, right?” Ford pressed, curious as ever. “After all, the Earth, perhaps barring Gravity Falls as the sole exception, is so… mundane when pitted against the vast depths of space, places humans have never even dreamed of seeing before, including your very own Homeworld! You’ve been here on Earth for thousands of years now… don’t you ever miss what lies beyond it?”

Rose paused for a moment, seeming to mull over this as she gazed up at the distant, twinkling stars far above them. But when she finally did give her answer, it was with a solid, confident smile as she returned her gaze back down to the sprawling view of the town far below them. “Why would I ever miss Homeworld when I’m already home?”

Despite his best efforts, this was a question Ford couldn’t find an answer to. It was at that moment that the author began to realize, perhaps for the very first time, just how different the pink Gem’s worldview was from his own. It was undeniable that Rose was quite content with her peaceful lot on planet Earth, far removed from the mysterious, exciting grandeur of the cosmos and her former interstellar home. It was a sentiment the other Crystal Gems seemed to carry, but it was one that Ford couldn’t quite understand. For much of his life, the author had felt limited in some way; limited by the scope of his small hometown, limited by the low standards of his family around him, limited even by his own scientific knowledge (at least until his muse fortunately came around to help in that regard). In fact, he had grown so used to being limited that it was no wonder that breaking those limits wide open had long since been a high-ranking goal of his. He didn’t want to just be content to be, he wanted so much more than that. He wanted success, he wanted recognition, he wanted greatness. He would settle for nothing less.  

And while Ford knew the road to reaching such lofty ambitions wouldn’t be an easy one, he still preferred the road less traveled anyway, he always had. And, as he sat around the campfire, laughing and conversing with some of the people (or more accurately Gems) he trusted most, he couldn’t help but feel immensely grateful that he wouldn’t have to travel that road alone.

***

The next morning saw the group meeting with a mystery right off the bat. While getting in an early morning shave, Fiddleford had spotted the briefest flash of something in the woods behind him in his tiny mirror. Superstitious and skittish as he was, the inventor didn’t hesitate to alert Ford and the Gems about the possible intruder, which had vanished just as quickly as it had appeared. A careful search of the entire area turned up empty, but no one could deny they all felt the presence of some unknown creature or being lurking about, its mysterious nature matching closely to a longstanding local lumberjack legend known as the Hide-Behind. The creature had been a point of curiosity for both Ford and the Gems for quite some time, largely since it had reportedly never been clearly seen by anyone before. The most anyone was able to find of it was they quickly packed up their camp were its strange footprints in the dirt, accompanied by its bizarre howl echoing through the trees as the trees. Needless to say it was enough to set the entire group on edge, even the usually intrepid Gems, who were all on the verge of summoning their weapons for self-defense, just in case the Hide-Behind suddenly decided to come out of hiding after all…

Fortunately though, they weren’t beset by any such danger as they finally made their way out of the woods and into more open expanses. Rose took point of the group from here, her manner oddly tense as she began leading the last leg of the journey to the crash site. Contrasting to the pink Gem, however, Ford and Fiddleford were both growing gradually more excited the closer they got to their destination. The pair engaged in enthused speculation about the vessel they were heading to all the way there, a conversation that the Gems largely refused to join in, even despite the many questions posed their way. In fact, they only seemed to grow even more dodgy as they finally reached the deep, oddly-shaped valley where their prize awaited: Crash Site Omega itself.

“We’re here,” Rose reported quietly, coming to a stop at the center of the wide grassy area.

“Wait… this is it?” Fiddleford asked, confused.

“Indeed it is,” Ford chimed in with a daring grin as he approached the field’s only notable feature, a large, inconspicuous rock. “It looks like it hasn’t been touched since the last time we were here two years ago! How lucky!”

“Very lucky,” Garnet remarked stiffly, adjusting her shades.

“Now, let’s just move this aside, and…” the author trailed off as he pushed the rock, revealing a metallic panel beneath it. Removing it was just as easy, uncovering a square opening in the ground with a long ladder leading down into the darkness far below. “There we go. This should lead us down right through… what was it again?”

“The indefinite exhaust port,” Pearl remarked, crossing her arms and scowling.

“U-unbelievable…” Fiddleford said, his eyes wide as he stared down into the mysterious tunnel. “And here I thought ya’ll were yankin’ my chain with this crash site nonsense, but… b-but here it is! Plain as day!”

“Ugh, do we really gotta go down there again?” Amethyst asked with a huff. “Its so dark and smelly and boring…”

“Don’t worry, Amethyst, we won’t be down there very long,” Rose assured the youngest Gem with a small smile. “Will we?” she asked Ford in particular.

“We’re only here for the hyperdrive this time, so I would say this shouldn’t take too terribly long,” Ford mused.

“Good,” Pearl said somewhat sharply. “The sooner we leave this place behind, the better.”

With their shared intention to get in and get out as quickly as possible, the Gems entered the passageway first. Ford and Fiddleford followed after, both of them somewhat baffled as to why their companions seemed so wary of the crash site as a whole. Even so, they eagerly followed down into the depths, scaling down into the wreckage left behind from a vessel forgotten by time.

The structure’s practically ancient chrome interior, as untouched by the elements as it was, was largely pristine, if not heavily dusted and cobwebbed. The buried vessel was essentially a maze of various vast, twisting corridors, revealing nothing to what its exterior might have once looked like. Most of its electronic components were long-since defunct and its echoing halls were just as abandoned and dark, illuminated only by the glow from Pearl and Rose’s respective gemstones lighting the way. Ford and Fiddleford also had flashlights on hand, however, to further aid them in getting a better glimpse at their amazing surroundings; surroundings that, as far as they knew, next to no other humans had ever seen before.

“Golly, just look at this place!” Fiddleford exclaimed, his voice echoing off of the hallowed-out halls. “It’s like somethin’ straight outta Cosmic Conflicts! Just imagine what it must’ve looked like back in its hayday!”

“We don’t need to imagine,” Ford said, confident as he glanced over at the Gems. “Fortunately in this instance, we can get knowledge on the subject straight from the source.”

“O-oh, well, its not like any of us got here on something exactly like this…” Rose remarked with something of an uncomfortable laugh. “After all, Amethyst was made here on Earth, and-”

“Well, still, certainly it must be close to what a few of you might be familiar with,” the author implored. “It did come from Homeworld, after all, much like yourself, right, Rose?”

“Ah, um, w-well, yes, I suppose, but-”

“So how long does it typically take for a vessel like this to be built there?” Ford inquired, innocently curious. What the author failed to see were the other Gems almost rushing on ahead, only Rose hanging behind and growing more and more anxious with each question he posed to her. “How many lightyears do you estimate it could travel in a day?”

“F-Ford…” the pink Gem attempted to interject, but nothing could really stop the author’s eager inquiries at this point.

“Does it have any sort of external weapons systems? Maybe a layered holographic force-field?”

“Ford-” Rose tried again and by now even Fiddleford was sending his partner a worried warning glance. But even still Ford continued.

“What would it take to bring a rig like this down in the first place? What was its original function meant to be?”

“Stanford, please-”

A warship? Scouting vessel? Why did it even come here to Earth in the first pla-”

“Stanford! That’s enough!”

Rose’s harsh shout seemed to echo through the entire vessel, stopping the entire group dead in their tracks. Ford turned to the pink Gem, aptly started by her heavy command only to find her usually gentle expression set in a sharp, severe glare. A glare that was aimed directly at him.

“R-Rose?” he asked quite hesitantly, unsure of how to react.

“I said that’s enough,” Rose repeated just as sternly. “No more questions, let’s just get what we came here for, and go.”

And with that, the pink Gem pressed on ahead, the other Gems and even Fiddleford meekly following behind her. For all of the kindness Rose was known to show, her rare moments of rigidness were more than enough to intimidate just about anyone. Anyone save for Ford, that is.

“Why are you always like this?” Ford asked, a hint of fledgling frustration in his tone. “Every time I so much as bring up the topic of Homeworld to you, you never want to discuss it? Why? You’re always more than happy to share everything you know about every other Gem-related matter, so why not something as fundamentally simple as your own home?!”

“Because!” Rose snapped fiercely, far more angrier than the author had ever seen her before. “That’s NOT our home! Not anymore…” She sighed, her fury turning to what almost seemed like remorseful resignation as she turned away once more. “And it never will be again…”

“But why not?” Ford pressed, refusing to simply let the matter go. “Why won’t you just tell me something about it?!”

“…Fine,” Rose said, her back still turned and her tone still tense. “I’ll tell you the only thing you need to know about it: we left it behind, in every way. And we want to keep it that way, which is why you should do the same, Stanford.”

This time, the pink Gem was intent on making it quite clear that she wouldn’t discuss the matter any further as she simply walked away. Once again, Ford was prepared to keep the argument going, though what ultimately ended up stopping him turned out to be none other than Fiddleford. The inventor silently barred him with an outstretched arm, shaking his head in disapproval over just how far the author had been willing to push his curiosity. Far enough to the point that it had, in turn, pushed the pink Gem away.

Even so, that wasn’t something Ford was all too willing to admit. After all, the most he saw himself as guilty of was perhaps asking one too many sensitive questions. But as far as he was concerned, it was Rose’s fault for deeming those questions as too sensitive to answer in the first place. Certainly, the author rationalized, the pink Gem was being unfairly secretive when it came to the truth behind her former home. She had already shared so much about her kind with him in the past; so what could possibly be the reason behind her keeping this information to herself? It was a question Ford knew he needed the answer to, but it was an answer he wasn’t sure he was going to get, especially not now. Especially with Rose choosing to maintain her stubborn silence on all things Homeworld-related, the other Gems intent on doing the very same.

“Here it is…” Pearl announced diffidently as they all stepped into a large, heavily-wired chamber. “One Temporal Displacement Hyperdrive, as promised.”

“Hm…” Fiddleford stepped forward, carefully inspecting the surprisingly small device. The hyperdrive was hooked up to the ship’s now-defunct engine by a series of sturdy chords, the screen on its side still somehow functional based on the illuminated visage of four multi-colored diamonds. Silence still permeated the rest of the rest of the group as the inventor looked over it before finally breaking into a small, satisfied smile. “Yep, I’d reckon this oughta do the trick. All I gotta do is tweak around with a few of these here wires and…” He trailed off, carefully snipping through the chords with the clippers he had wisely brought along. Then, after loosening just a few bolts and screws, the inventor was able to not just release the drive, but also extract it, snuggly slipping it away into his backpack for safekeeping on the way back.

“We got what we came here for,” Rose concluded, her tone and matter both starkly hallow. “Let’s go home.”

None of the others, surprisingly not even Ford, argued with the pink Gem on this. Still, Fiddleford at the very least could tell that the author wanted to, his insistence to know what Rose refused to tell him was plain enough to see in his plaintiff expression alone. And yet, for whatever reason, Ford held his peace on the matter, instead silently following behind the Gems with his head down and his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides. Fiddleford always had a knack for spotting a pot that was about to boil over, and if there was any way to describe the tension currently standing between the author and the pink Gem in particular, it was that. Which meant that he could only hope that when it inevitably did, none of them would end up getting burned in its wake.

***

While both Fiddleford and the other Gems all shared the unspoken hope that the mood would finally lighten when they emerged from the crash site, much to their dismay it did anything but. In fact, if anything, Rose and Ford seemed to distance themselves even further, refusing to so much as even spare a glance at each other, lest their disagreement spike up once more. While the author’s manner was hard and bitter, the pink Gem’s expression seemed sad and pensive, though as different as their emotions were, they were equally matched in terms of disappointment.

This anxious stalemate seemed as though it was going to continue for the entire journey back from the crash site, a thought that was all but unbearable to the others. While this quest had started out on such a high, bright note, it seemed so unfortunate that, even despite their relative success in getting the hyperdrive, it was going to end on such a low, dour one. Which was why, even if the Gems didn’t share his own intention, Fiddleford decided to venture an attempt to at least get the author and the pink Gem on speaking terms again. A plan that he would have very well carried out had Ford not happened upon a discovery that would change the course of their entire trip altogether.

“Everyone, stay right where you are,” the author suddenly warned, stopping dead in his tracks. Curious, the others complied, turning towards him to see what the matter might have been. “No one make a single sound…” he whispered, his posture suddenly tense and his eyes wide as he stared through the thicket of trees straight ahead of them. While Garnet and Pearl exchanged a confused, yet quite glance at this, Amethyst, however, was easily the first to disregard that command entirely.

“What? What is it?” she asked bluntly, loudly. “Are we playin’ some kinda quiet game? Cause I thought we already have been doing that for hours now and-”

“Shhh!” Ford quickly reprimanded her, suddenly frantic. “I said quiet! The last thing we want to do is wake it up!”

“Wake what up, Stanford?” Fiddleford asked, his voice soft, yet aptly baffled.

By now, Rose had happened to catch a glimpse of what Ford had already seen, a small gasp escaping her as she pointed to the clearing straight ahead. “That.”

Fast asleep in the light of the sun pouring down upon it through the canopy of trees above was a creature, a monster that was nearly beyond all description. The beast was massive to say the least, easily larger than any of the Gems, even Rose herself. It was a burly, muscular, grotesque behemoth, its constant snores more akin to hulking growls as it rested tentatively, though it was clear that it could be ready to attack with its piercing claws and protruding fangs at a moment’s notice. An outcome that none of them wanted to see, especially considering exactly what this creature really was.

“A Gremloblin…” Ford was unable to keep himself from breaking into a bewildered grin at the sight of such an exciting discovery. “One of the rarest creatures in all of Gravity Falls! I’ve only ever read about them in old local lumberjack legends, I never thought I’d actually get to see one myself!”

“W-well, ya saw it, so we should probably get a goin’ before that thing stirs,” Fiddleford urged anxiously, refusing to take his eyes off the snoozing monster, lest it pounce when he wasn’t looking.

“Yes, yes, of course,” Ford agreed as he pulled his journal out of his coat. “After I jot down just a few cursory notes on it, maybe get a quick sketch…”

“Ford, I don’t think that’s a very good idea…” Rose noted with a concerned frown.

“Yes, those creatures are notoriously dangerous,” Pearl agreed. “We’ve fortunately never had to fight one before and we certainly wouldn’t want to have a reason to now.”

“And you won’t,” Ford assured, still creeping on ahead, pen already in hand. “I’ve heard Gremloblins are incredibly heavy sleepers, especially during their hibernation season, which just so happens to be during the summer months.”

“But Stanford-” Fiddleford pleaded tightly, nervously.

“Besides, I simply can’t pass up the opportunity to document such a unique find,” Ford continued, hardly listening to the others’ warnings. “I’ll make this quick, I promise.”

“Ford…” Rose admonished once more, though the author hardly listened as he continued inching forward. He had all but lost himself to sketching the monstrous Gremloblin out, engrossed in his research far more than his own safety, or the safety of his companions.

“M-Miss Quartz, can’t ya get him to give it a rest?” Fiddleford asked Rose as he cowered up against a nearby tree for cover. “If he wakes that critter up, he’ll get us all killed, for sure!”

“I don’t know about all that, but I do agree that this is far too dangerous,” the pink Gem stepped forward, ready to call upon her sword and shield, just in case, as she made another appeal to the author. “Ford, we should just leave that creature alone and move on before something bad happens.”

“Which will happen,” Garnet predicted firmly. “Trust me.”

“Then we’ll make sure to leave before it does,” Ford only barely glanced back over his shoulder.

“But that’s just it, you don’t know when it will happen!” Rose huffed, annoyed by the author’s insistent stubbornness. “We shouldn’t risk it, we need to leave, now.”

“Well you’re more than free to go on ahead. I’ll catch up with you when I’m done.”

While the pink Gem’s patience was usually seemingly boundless, it was more than clearly being tested here and now. “Stanford, why won’t you just listen to me?” she asked incredulously. “I’m trying to help you; I just want to keep you safe!”

“Oh how?” Ford asked just as bitingly as he turned to face her. “By denying me access to simple knowledge that would be invaluable to my research? Knowledge that I have a right to know, that I deserve to know!? Is that your idea of trying to ‘keep me safe’? Because if it is, then you should know that I never asked you to. In fact, I think you’ll find that I can handle much more than you give me credit for.”

“Ford…” Rose sighed, disgruntled and despondent. “You still don’t understand! And that’s exactly why you need to stop. A-and why… why I can’t tell you about…”

“About Homeworld?”

Rose flinched at this, unsure of what to even say. All the same, the author stared her down, silently demanding the truth this time, and refusing to settle for anything less. “S-Stanford… I-”

Before the pink Gem could even get another word out, the unthinkable happened. A sudden, ear-piercing alarm blared through the air, readily echoing throughout the trees with a seemingly unending shriek.

“Augh! What is that?!” Amethyst yelled over the deafening din.

“I think it’s the hyperdrive!” Pearl called, nodding over to Fiddleford’s backpack, where the device was still stowed. “The change in altitude while going down the mountain must have activated it!”

“H-how do we get it to stop?!” Fiddleford cried, ripping the bag off his back to peer in at the blaring, flashing device.

“We need to-” Garnet cut herself off with a gasp, her future vision catching an extremely important warning just in time. “Look out!” she shouted to Ford in particular. The author instantly spun around, clutching the journal close to his chest to see a massive clawed hand rushing right for him. The most Ford could really do was brace himself for a painful impact, though fortunately it never came as a certain pink Gem and her sturdy shimmering shield intercepted the devastating blow instead.

“T-the Gremloblin!” Ford exclaimed, stunned as he glanced past Rose, who still stood defensively between him and the now-rampaging creature. “It’s awake!”

“We need to get out of here!” the pink Gem urged, pressing hard against her shield try and ward the incredibly strong monster off.

“Can we turn that stupid wiperdrive off first?!” Amethyst asked with an irritated groan.

“We’re tryin to!” Fiddleford exclaimed as both him and Pearl desperately tampered with the screeching device to quiet it down. “D-darn thing won’t-”

Suddenly, the Gremloblin’s attention shifted away from Ford and Rose and to an entirely different direction instead: towards the inventor, or rather, the loudly whining device in his hands. Before any of the others could even react, the monster lashed out, swerving around the pair in front of it and reaching out to grab Fiddleford in its enormous, deadly claws in one single swipe. The hyperdrive fell out of his grasp and into Pearl’s, though the white Gem was quick to leap back, summoning her weapon alongside her teammates to face this fell beast.

“Fiddleford!” Ford exclaimed in apt alarm over the peril his friend was in. Peril that only seemed to grow as the Gremloblin’s grip on the terrified inventor tightened, its large golden eyes baring straight into his. Despite his initial thrashing and struggling, Fiddleford more or less went completely limp as his eyes took on the same blank pallor as the monster’s, a sign that he was helplessly lost to whatever sort of trance it had somehow put him under.

“Ford, hurry and take cover somewhere!” Rose ordered, brandishing her blade in preparation for the inevitable fight ahead. “We’ll take care of-”

The pink Gem cut herself off with a startled gasp as Ford suddenly rushed past her, armed only with his full canteen of water and the intent to do whatever he could to rescue Fiddleford from the Gremloblin’s clutches. “Wait!” Garnet warned, her future vision already showing the outcome of the author’s brazenness to her. “Don’t throw water at it! It’ll only-”

The fusion’s warning was largely unheard as Ford chucked his canteen forward with as much force as he could possibly muster. It struck the Gremloblin squarely on the head, completely dousing it all over. It was enough to monetarily startle the creature, but that surprise was immediately short-lived as it unleashed a massive, outraged roar of retaliation. As if in response to the water itself, the Gremloblin seemed to double, if not triple in size before their very eyes, growing spikes and tusks and even strong and sturdy wings. The unexpected transformation left the spectating group completely baffled, especially the author as he realized that his hastiness was essentially the direct cause of it.

“It’ll only get much harder to deal with,” Garnet finally finished bluntly.

“Now you tell me…” Ford huffed, disgruntled.

“Gems, let’s go!” Rose commanded swiftly, finally rallying her teammates into action against the monster. The Gremloblin kept its tight grip on Fiddleford as it let out another vicious growl, towering over all of the Gems as they raced for it with their respective weapons drawn. Hasty as always, Amethyst leapt for it first, swinging her whip loose and wildly to latch onto one of the monster’s mighty upper fangs. The purple Gem used her taunt weapon to launch herself upward, raring to land squarely on the creature’s face to inflict a heavy kick, but before she could, the Gremloblin turned her plan against her. Instead, it swung its head upwards hard, sending both Amethyst and her whip flying fast and far off into the forest, away from the fight altogether.

In light of the purple Gem’s easy defeat, Garnet and Pearl teamed up in their successive attack. The white Gem went high, gracefully jumping up towards the treetops to land on a sturdy perch above the creature while the fusion distracted it on the ground below. The Gremloblin showed no intentions of losing its prey, despite Garnet’s best attempts at reaching the inventor while dodging the monster’s violent swings all the while. The fusion’s strength was formidable, to be sure, but when pitted against a monster of such sheer size and ferocity as the Gremloblin, even Garnet herself was no match. All it took was for the creature to suddenly catch the fusion by her gauntlet before it flung her away, sending her plowing through the trees and knocking several over in her wake until she was completely out of sight. A mere moment later, the Gremloblin also caught sight of Pearl launching herself and her spear its way, though it easily managed to stop her as well by simply making eye contact with her alone. The white Gem let out a horrified gasp, her eyes reflecting the Gremloblin’s golden ones as she collapsed flat onto the ground, instantly curling up and wrapping her arms around herself as her breaths came out in short, shallow sobs.

“Pearl!” Rose cried, almost rushing to the white Gem’s side right then and there if not for the Gremloblin attempting to attack her next.

“What’s wrong?! What did it do to her and Fiddleford?” Ford demanded, noticing that the inventor was still completely petrified in the Gremloblin’s grasp.

“I’ve heard of this happening before,” Rose said tensely, her hold on her sword tightening. “Gremloblins can make anyone see their worst nightmares just by looking into their eyes. It’ll wear off eventually, but still, we need to get Fiddleford as far away from it as possible before it can get any worse!”

“Well, then, by all means, let’s-” the author stopped short as the Gremloblin let out yet another booming roar. And then, without any warning, it outstretched its mighty wings, lifting its hulking body off the ground with but a single flap. Rose and Ford only had time to rush forward in a thwarted attempt at rescuing the inventor before the Gremloblin took off in flight, taking Fiddleford right along with it as it began its descent down the nearby mountainside.  

“No!” Ford shouted, not hesitating to chase after the beast, desperate to stop it before it could make off with his friend forever. And yet, before he could really begin his panicked pursuit, a steady hand grabbed him by the arm and swiftly pulled him back instead.

“Stay here!” Rose ordered as she summoned a new shield on her arm.

“No, I’m going with you!” the author exclaimed, adamant.

“No, you’re not! Its bad enough that one of you is in danger, I’m not risking you both.”

“You won’t be ‘risking’ anything,” Ford huffed in thorough annoyance. “I can handle something like this, you know I can. So why do you insist on acting like I can’t?!”

“Because you’re only a human!” Rose snapped, and just like that, everything shifted into stark silence.

Ford stilled, his eyes widening as he looked to the pink Gem with apt disbelief. “O-only human?”

“S-Stanford…” Rose immediately began to retract, instantly regretting her words. “I didn’t mean it like that, I-I… I just-”

“Tell me, Rose,” Ford began, his tone hard and filled with resolve as he pressed his way past the pink Gem. “Do you think a supposedly ‘simple’ human would be willing to do something like this?”

Without warning, the author suddenly sprinted off, completely unarmed and ready to take the Gremloblin on unarmed. He didn’t even bother to glance over his shoulder to see if Rose was following him, largely since he didn’t care. Regardless of whether or not she wanted him to, he was going to save Fiddleford. He was going to prove to both her and to himself that even if he was ‘only’ human, he was so much more than that as well.

Fortunately, the Gremloblin hadn’t gotten too far away as it drifted down the craggy mountain’s face. It was a rather sharp descent, but one that Ford was willing to make for Fiddleford’s sake, tearing his coat and scraping himself bloody as he half-tripped, half-ran down it. For a moment, the author dared to hope that he actually had a chance at catching up to the monster, but just before he could reach it, it turned hard, changing its course so that it was flying away from the mountain instead of simply down it. Ford skidded to a sharp stop, though only for a moment, refusing to let this be the end of the chase. Instead, he acted on impulse and adrenaline, backing up briefly before running full stop towards the nearest ledge. The author was nothing if not a man of science, so all the while, he was rushing through a number of calculations in his head, determining just how far he’d have to jump and exactly what his odds of actually making it might be. The results on both accounts were daunting, but even so, they didn’t stop him from taking the leap all the same. With a courageous shout, Ford pushed himself off the mountainside, keeping the Gremloblin and Fiddleford both in his sights all the while as he sailed through the air towards them. For a brief moment, at least.

For soon enough, gravity inevitably enacted itself upon the author, stopping his forward momentum as he all too quickly began plummeting downward. The base of the mountain was hundreds of feet below him, and Ford didn’t even have to think twice to know the impact would be agonizing. But fortunately, it was an impact that never came as he landed softly in a pair of soft, outstretched arms instead.

The moment Rose caught him amidst his freefall, Ford’s heart practically sunk immeasurably. So much for trying to prove himself to her, for in his reckless hastiness, here she had come, once again, to rescue him from peril, just as she so often had to do. However, as she began to float gently back down towards the mountain, her expression was anything but admonishing; instead it was sad, remorseful as she averted the author’s gaze altogether and spoke softly as they touched down. “Only a human like you would be brave enough to risk his life for his friend,” the pink Gem shook her head and laughed as she looked down at him. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize it until now. Maybe you really can handle it after all…”

“R-Rose?”

“B-but now isn’t really the time for that, is it?” she asked, her tone turning upbeat and determined as she set her sights on the fleeing Gremloblin high above them. “Let’s do this, Stanford, together this time.”

As baffled as he was, the author couldn’t help but return the pink Gem’s smile as he noted her warm sincerity. Which was why he allowed her to take the literal leap high into the air with him in tow, easily gaining enough height and speed to catch up to the soaring Gremloblin. They landed squarely on its back, though the moment the monster sensed their weight, it went into a frenzy. Rose and Ford struggled to keep their footing as the creature tried everything it could to shake them off its back, from twirling to divebombing and everything in between. Even so, they kept their wits about them, Ford in particular as he managed to crawl forward towards the monster’s head. In trying to simply stay on the Gremloblin herself as she was, Rose was quite surprised when she glanced ahead, only to find the author perched on the monster’s back as he, oddly enough, drew his journal out of his lab coat of all things. And, in one swift move, he reeled the book back before slamming it hard into the back of the Gremloblin’s head.

Despite his strong, muscular, monstrous form, the creature recoiled in pain from the surprisingly heavy blow. Miraculously enough, it managed to knock the beast out cold entirely, though as a result, its wings immediately went limp. Ford only briefly let out a gasp of alarm as the monster’s unconscious form began careening madly through the air towards the ground far below, but once again, Rose raced to his rescue just in the nick of time.

Acting quickly, the pink Gem swept the author into her arms before doing the very same with the still quite listless Fiddleford. With both humans safe and secure in her grasp, Rose leapt from the plummeting beast’s back, floating slowly down towards the ground as the Gremloblin fell at a much faster rate. The pink Gem and the author watched with wide eyes as the now-defeated beast crashed into the roof of a barn out in the countryside, one that they landed not too far away from themselves.

“Well…” Ford mused as Rose released both him and Fiddleford, carefully setting the inventor down in the grass so he could recover. “I have to say that was a bit sloppy… but still successful all the same.”

“Sloppy?” Rose asked with an incredulous chuckle. “Ford, that was amazing! Still, I can’t help but feel bad for that poor Gremloblin. After all, it was just trying to rest peacefully…”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” the author assured. “After all, I hear those things are… frustratingly hearty.” As if to prove him right, a familiar growl began to sound from inside the barn, accompanied by a chorus of panicked horses, cows, and various other livestock. “A-actually, we should probably get going before we have to go through this all over again…”

Rose didn’t argue, gently scooping Fiddleford up once again as they hurried out of the monster’s range. Their next goal, to regroup with the rest of the scattered Gems, recover the hyperdrive and finally get home from this lengthy quest, was clear, and that’s exactly what the pair set out to do. Along the way, Fiddleford finally began to slip out of his stupor, though as soon as he did, it was immediately apparent that not all was well with the inventor in the aftermath of his horrific encounter with the fearsome Gremloblin. For much of the trek back up the mountain, Fiddleford was all but incoherent, babbling frantically to himself as Rose carried him to spare his still-unsteady legs from having to walk. Even after a round of precautionary healing tears from the pink Gem herself, the inventor’s shaken manner hardly changed. He was still quite distant and anxious (even more anxious than he usually had a tendency to be), traits that Pearl also shared when the trio found her and the hyperdrive still sitting in the same exact spot in the woods where they had left her. Rose and Ford chalked their worrisome behavior up to the Gremloblin’s nightmarish gaze, and carried the hope that they’d recover from it soon enough, something that Garnet was able to confirm when they met up with her and Amethyst once more. Yet all the same, despite Fiddleford’s tense, fretful silence, Ford still happened to glean one quiet, bitterly muttered thought from his friend as they all parted ways upon making it home that evening. Something about finding a way to forget that it had all ever happened in the first place.

***

In light of the harrowing adventure they had just returned from, Ford was very grateful to find a moment’s rest to catch up on recording his notes on it in the journal. The author had taken to his favorite writing spot, on a surprisingly comfy stone halfway up the hill to the Gem’s temple, one that gave him a quiet, serene spot to jot down his thoughts and observations. He had just about finished documenting his and Rose’s surprisingly swift victory against the Gremloblin, when the pink Gem herself decided to join him.

At first, Rose said nothing as she took a seat on the rock beside him, her pink curls shifting softly in the late evening breeze. And aside from a brief glance her way, Ford simply continued writing, unsure of what to really say to her in light of all that had happened. Fortunately though, he didn’t have to think of anything, as Rose spoke up first instead.

“You know, it’s so funny,” she began with a small laugh that almost sounded bitter in a way. “I’ve spent so long trying to not to be like them, but even after thousands of years, I guess I still have a few things in common with them after all.”

“...With... who?” Ford ventured, slightly worried that, once again, he wouldn’t get a concrete answer. However, much to his surprise, a concrete answer was exactly what Rose finally gave him.

“With... with Homeworld,” the pink Gem sighed, turning her gaze up to the early stars above. “They used to keep things from me—f-from... lesser Gems too. Said we ‘didn’t need to know’ what they did. I always thought it was so unfair. So... in a way, I suppose I understand how you feel whenever I do the same thing to you.”

“...Oh,” was all Ford said, wisely choosing not to press Rose with any further questions on the matter. After all, his own brashness and stubborn craving for answers the pink Gem hadn’t been ready to give had already created something of a rift between them. A rift that the author had no intentions of widening any more than he already had.

“Homeworld... wasn’t exactly a place where Gems could just... be whatever or whoever they wanted to be...” Rose explained slowly, carefully. “There was no freedom, no fun... no love. That’s why, when I first came here and found out that this planet was filled with those things, I knew from the start that the Earth, that freedom, and fun, and love, were all well worth protecting. But they—H-Homeworld, didn’t see things the same way. They wanted to use the Earth to make more of us, to turn it into another one of their countless colonies. If they had their way, it... it would have destroyed the Earth and every single living thing that calls it home. A-and I just couldn’t stand by and let that happen! Which was why I decided to take a stand against them, me and all of the other Gems who felt the same way about the Earth. We came together and fought against Homeworld with everything we had. Like I said before, we left Homeworld behind entirely, all so we could finally exist somewhere else. So we could all be something else...”

“The Crystal Gems...?” Ford inferred, trying his best to hide the initial shock from such a heavy revelation.

Rose nodded thoughtfully. “Back then there were more than just four of us. But... well, what happened to the others is... a very long story in and of itself.”

“i see...” the author’s brow furrowed as he took stock of the pink Gem’s expression, noting the hints of longstanding pain and guilt within it. “I always thought that the four of you had arrived on Earth as part of some exploratory mission and just decided to stay here after all the others left. But now... knowing the truth... I... I suppose I never could have imagined something like, well, that.”

“It’s... not something I like thinking back on...” Rose said, looking down fretfully.

“That’s... understandable,” Ford nodded, suddenly quite remorseful. “Rose, I... I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I just... Well, you know how stubborn I can be when it comes to my research.”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘stubborn’,” the pink Gem finally smirked. “I’d call it... ‘determined’. And that determination was something you definitely put to the test earlier today. Which is why I’m so, so sorry for doubting you before. I thought I was just trying to protect you, but you were right all along; you really can handle more than I gave you credit for.”

“Don’t feel too bad about it,” Ford remarked with a small, joking grin. “You wouldn’t be the first to underestimate me, after all.”

Noting the author’s playful manner, Rose was unable to hold back a hearty laugh over this, one that Ford was more than happy to share. Despite the danger they faced earlier in the day, neither of them could deny that the struggles and trials of it all had indeed given way to a newfound sense of trust between them. The author already had an abundance of respect for the pink Gem, perhaps from even the very first day he had met her two years ago. But that respect had indeed been tested to the limits when she had so openly refused to see him as her equal. It was only when Rose herself decided to take on the same sort of respect Ford had for her towards him that the pair, all differences aside, were finally able to truly see eye-to-eye. And, as they’d both come to find out, that respect would be tried and tested time and time again, wavered and torn through portals, and demons, and a tragic separation. Yet even through it all, that respect, though constantly in flux between growing and shrinking, surprisingly was never once broken.

***

“So that’s it?” Peridot cut in the moment it was apparently that Ford, McGucket, and the other Gems had wrapped up their story. “You just went out to that ‘Crash Site Omega’, went in, got your hyperdrive (which is incredibly outdated tech, by the way, I can't believe you managed to find any sort of use for it!), fought a monster, and then went home? How boring!”

“Aw, shucks, it sure wasn’t borin’ at the time!” McGucket exclaimed. “’Specially not that nasty Grem-whosa-whats-it. I can guarantee firsthand that thing was a horrifyin’ freak of nature!”

“So can we, since we fought it off one time too!” Mabel chimed in with a daring grin.

“Excuse me, you what?” Ford asked, instantly concerned upon hearing this.

“Eh, we can tell you about that some other time,” Dipper quickly brushed it off. “For now, I kinda can’t help but think that your story sounds... kinda familiar.”

“Oh yeah!” Steven agreed, turning to the Gems. “Mom being all secretive about Homeworld is basically you guys used to do to us. That… honestly explains a lot, actually…”

“We had our reasons,” Garnet said simply. “So did Rose.”

“And at least we did open up to you all about it… eventually,” Pearl added.

“Yeah, and it didn’t take a hundred million annoying questions to get us to do it either,” Amethyst said, taking an obvious jab at Ford.

“W-well, what can I say?” the author huffed defensively. “I’ll be the first to admit that I was much more… impetuous when I was younger-”

“Impetuous?” McGucket repeated with a laugh. “Stanford, don’t go lyin’ to these youngsters. You were as stubborn as stubborn comes!”

“Not stubborn,” Garnet spoke up, offering the author a small smile. “Determined, just like Rose said.”

“Exactly,” Ford grinned, satisfied. “Determined. Much like you kids are, come to think of it.”

“Determined enough to… oh, I don’t know…” Dipper began rather leadingly. “Tell us what and where Crash Site Omega actually is?”

“Nice try,” the author said knowingly. “But no. Well… at least not yet, anyway.”

“A ‘not yet’, huh?” Mabel looked to Steven and Dipper with an encouraging grin. “Well, that’s not a total no, so its good enough for me!”

“Not for me,” Peridot remarked, crossing her arms and shaking her head. “I’m still not over the fact that you used a Temporal Displacement Hyperdrive, of all things! What kind of relic of a machine were you even trying to build that would need a power source that’s so… so ancient?”

Ford, McGucket, and the Gems exchanged a bit of a worried glance at this, knowing that the true answer to this question held countless missteps and horrors all their own. Yet even if the portal itself had ended in disaster, none of them could deny that the road to get them to its completion had been filled with countless ups and downs and unique stories to tell. It had been a path paved with memories, many of them quite fond, memories that they were all mutually glad to finally have back, even if restoring them had awakened moments they would have just as well left back in the past. But if there was any one thing they could all agree on, it was that they were still glad to have those memories, those adventurous, daring days of discovery and friendship back, tying them together into the team they used to be once more. Which was why it was with a small smile that Ford replied to the green Gem’s question, silently agreeing with the others to leave the pains of the past behind to embrace the best of the present, and the road to the future, instead. “None of us need to worry about that anymore. After all, there are some stories that are better left… untold.”

Next:

[anistarrose]

Good Luck Charm (GF Stanuary Week 4)

Summary: Stan’s always liked to cheat at games of luck, but as the months pass after the clash with Bill in the mindscape, Ford starts to suspect that something more abnormal might be going on.

Word Count: ~2500

Warnings: some brief references to violence/threats of violence, references to gambling

This isn’t for any particular @stanuary prompt, but is based off of this post by @siriuslymeg! It’s something I’ve wanted to write about for a while, and Stanuary seemed like a good opportunity to do so!

It wasn’t until they set off on the Stan O’ War II that Stan started to suspect anything had changed.

...Well, that wasn’t entirely true. There was that one moment during the reconstruction of the Shack, when a falling shingle seemed to almost swerve in midair to avoid hitting Soos’s head — not to mention Ford’s little pyrotechnics demonstration at Dipper and Mabel’s birthday party. The fact that that had gone off without a hitch should have been more than enough to tell him that something was different.

But it really began one otherwise peaceful morning, a bit less than a month into their trip north, when Stan’s attempt at making coffee was foiled by a sudden force slamming into the side of the boat. It knocked the pot clear off the counter and onto the floor, and rivers of precious caffeinated beverage seeped into the cracks between the planks, disappearing forever as the boat continued to shake.

“Alright,” Ford growled, pulling out his gun and bolting for the steps to the deck, “this is war.” Before Stan could warn him to be careful, or ask if he even knew what they were dealing with, he was out of sight.

“Damn it, Sixer,” Stan muttered as he fumbled around for a weapon, “every time you rush in like this, you end up needing me to save your ass…”

Sure enough, not thirty seconds later he heard Ford yelling. At first, it was the savage cry of a man determined to avenge his coffee, but it quickly morphed into a shout of surprise, and then the familiar “Stanley! Help!”

Stan sighed. “Called it.”

He grabbed a harpoon gun, and charged upstairs to his brother’s rescue, only to find himself staring down… the most obnoxiously bright yellow duck he’d ever seen, like a bath toy come to life.

Even ignoring its ridiculous wide-eyed expression, the color alone made Stan want to puke — hell, even Bill Cipher himself had been downright aesthetically pleasing compared to this abomination. And of course, that couldn’t be all. It just had to also be surrounded by two dozen massive squid-like tentacles, all of them the same bright yellow and one of them wrapped around Ford’s chest and hoisting him several feet above the deck.

“Quick!” Ford yelled, gasping for breath. “The Rubber Quacken’s weak spot is just — just below the bill! Kill the foul creature, before I —”

Making a split second decision to comment on the monster’s horrendous name later, Stan aimed the harpoon gun as best as he could. It was hard to even look directly at the duck for more than a few seconds, much less take an accurate shot —

He saw Ford turning purple and futilely thrashing about in his peripheral vision, and before he realized what he was doing, his finger squeezed down on the trigger. No monster this ridiculous is going to take away my brother.

The shot should have gone wide. He saw it pointing far above the duck’s head, nowhere near the angle it was meant to fly at. But the harpoon spun in midair like some invisible hand had deflected it, plunging downwards and somehow embedding itself just below the duck’s bill.

The creature let out an enraged squeak, and withdrew in an instant, deflating tentacles dropping Ford down on the dock. As Stan rushed to his side, he managed to set up and rub his ribs.

“I’m alright,” he assured Stan. “Nothing a few alien healing-packs can’t fix.”

Stan just sighed. “You fight one of these things before or what?”

“Yes, a slightly smaller one found its way to the lake in Gravity Falls somehow back in ‘78. Just be grateful we didn’t meet its close cousin, the Hawktopus.”

“Why? What does it do, just fly away with the world’s most reckless geniuses before their brothers can save them?”

“What? No, they’re actually quite harmless. Just objectively the stupidest creature in this dimension, and the screech they make gives me headaches.”

Stan groaned. “Way to miss the point, Poindexter. Can you just, I dunno, try and be a little more careful next time? Eventually you’re gonna run out of alien drugs to fix your broken ribs and I’m gonna run out of dumb luck to save you with the first place.”

Ford narrowed his eyes. “Stan, with you, nothing is ever random dumb luck. You’ll always find some way to rig the universe in your favor.”

“You’re changing the topic!”

“Alright. I promise.”

***

For a month or so after that, nothing particularly odd happened — at least, nothing more out of the ordinary than anything ever was for the Pines. Yeah, the weather was miraculously much nicer than forecasted when they sailed down to California to see Dipper and Mabel for the holidays, and yeah, Stan beat a bunch of selkies at poker without even needing to cheat, but those were just a couple of coincidences. The same went for the Stan O’ War II escaping unscathed from so many monster attacks — it was just dumb luck, and as welcomed as it was, it would run out sooner or later. Right?

But when Stan and Ford went wandering through a winding maze of caverns in search of treasure, things got odd, unusual, and statistically improbable once again. First it was Stan tripping and finding the entrance by complete accident, then it was their flashlights holding out for hours without needing to change the batteries, and then it was the slow realization that no matter how many times they had to choose from one of several branching paths, they never seemed to hit a dead end.

That was, not until they squeezed out of a particularly cramped tunnel and found themselves in a high-ceilinged room, crystals on the walls glimmering and an ancient-looking treasure chest waiting for them on a stone pedestal, just like something out of the most fantastical adventure story.

“Holy Moses!” Stan exclaimed, practically sprinting across the room to get a better look. “This baby looks like it’s made of real gold!” He gave the lock a shake, and began to lift the heavy lid —

“Stan, no!” Ford shouted. “It could be —”

Stan opened the chest before he could process Ford’s words. “Holy shit, these look like real diamonds! Ford, we’re rich!”

He turned around, expecting to see an excited look on Ford’s face, but instead, he was met with an infuriated glare.

“You idiot! It could be cursed! You keep telling me to be more careful, but you — you might have just given yourself some fatal and incurable disease, for all you know!”

His voice grew uneven in a way that was distinctly un-Ford-like as he went on, and Stan realized he wasn’t so much angry as he was frightened on Stan’s behalf.

“Shit, I — I didn’t think. How do we know if —”

From his backpack, Ford pulled a simple black rod, and held it over the treasure chest for a few seconds until it lit up purple. He breathed a sigh of relief.

“Alright. Alright, we’re… we’re safe. There once was a fairly powerful curse on this treasure, but it’s been… neutralized, apparently. Nothing but harmless magical residue here.”

“Ford, I’m so sorry,” Stan told him. “You’re right, I am a hypocrite. I just got excited about the treasure, and…”

“It’s okay,” Ford replied. “I… I sounded like I was angry at you, didn’t I? I didn’t mean to — I was just worried.”

Stan nodded, and a smile slowly spread across Ford’s face. “So what if we’re both idiots with no sense of self-preservation? That’s why we have each other.”

“Ah, you’re such a sappy old man,” Stan said, but he raised his hand for a high-six, and Ford obliged.

“I am curious how the curse was neutralized, though,” Ford pondered as he and Stan sorted through the haul of precious gemstones. “Assuming the spell was in effect when it was hidden, as is true for most treasures, it wouldn’t make sense for anyone to come down here and remove the curse but leave the jewels.”

He turned to look at Stan and rubbed his chin. “Unless you accidentally neutralized it yourself, somehow.”

“Ha, me?” Stan scoffed. “Look, Ford, I have a lot of weird talents, but magic isn’t one of them.”

“I’m honestly not so sure,” Ford replied, and with the poor lighting of the cave masking his expression, Stan couldn’t tell if he was teasing or serious. “We do seem to have experienced quite a streak of good luck lately, with everything from the weather to even finding these caverns in the first place…”

“Oh, come on! What do you think I am, some kind of walking good luck charm? Did one of my feet turn into a rabbit’s foot? Do I have four-leaf-clovers growing out of my ears?”

Ford snorted. “No, Stan, you’re right. I’m just looking for connections where aren’t any to be found.”

“Yeah, you don’t need to tell me that. I always just assume you’re overthinking shit until proven otherwise.”

“Touché. Now help me lift this thing and see if it fits through the exit.”

***

Stan was sitting at a table in a local restaurant, flirting with the waiter as he waited for Ford to get back from the restroom, when he noticed a man glaring at him from a few tables away. His hair was going gray and his face looked far more worn and beaten than Stan remembered, but the intricate serpent tattoo on his neck told Stan everything he needed to know — and none of it was good news, least of all not the other three equally rough-looking men sitting next to him.

Stan excused himself as quickly as he could and rushed towards the restroom, thankfully bumping into Ford on the way there.

“We gotta go, Sixer. We gotta go now.”

“What? Stan, what’s wrong?”

“Biker gang,” Stan hurriedly exclaimed, pulling Ford by the arm as they headed for the exit. “Really bad history. No time to explain.”

“I do have a gun on me,” Ford whispered as soon as they were out the door of the restaurant. “Worst comes to worst, I can —”

“Yeah, and there’s four of them, and they’re all gonna have their own guns. I don’t like your chances. We gotta make a break for the boat.”

Ford grunted his agreement as he broke into a run besides Stan.

“Pinefield!” a low voice bellowed from the direction of the restaurant. “We just want to chat!”

Stan didn’t dare turn his head around to look, but he heard the sound of several motorcycles being revved in the distance —

And then, a sudden and jarring boom just like a clap of thunder, followed by a string of curses that made Ford’s alien swears look uncreative. Stan didn’t need to turn around to know that someone’s engine had just failed in incredibly spectacular fashion, and that he’d just dropped a lot lower on the list of the gang’s priorities.

He looked at Ford, only to find his brother staring back at him with the same unspoken question clear in his expression — did you do that?

***

“Ha! Natural 38 again!” Stan cheered gleefully, sending sheets of graph paper flying as he smacked the table. “It’s over, ya stupid dragon of vector cross products!”

“Yes, that’s quite impressive,” Ford murmured as he scribbled notes down on a page hidden from Stan’s sight. “Are you sure you aren’t cheating?”

“Seriously? You still don’t trust your own brother not to rig the dice? Honestly, Ford, I’m starting to think you’re just jealous about me being better at your nerd game than you are.”

Ford frowned, and picked the D38 up off the table gingerly, as if it was some sort of scientific specimen. “Actually, Stan… I ask because I weighted this die. To favor lower numbers.”

“Who’s the smart twin now — wait, what?”

Ford placed a piece of graph paper in front of Stan, listing all his rolls from the night’s session. “And yet, you’re still scoring consistently higher than random chance would suggest even for a normal die, much less a rigged one. Something’s going on — something not just abnormal, but supernaturally so.”

“Wait, you’re serious about thinking I’m some kinda magic good luck charm? How — how would that’ve even happened in the first place? I —”

Ford frowned. “Well, it’s debatable if it can really be called luck when it’s something that happens consistently and with an identifiable cause — but for simplicity’s sake, yes, that’s what the data seem to represent. Though I suppose there’s always a miniscule chance of it having all been truly random…”

“Again, Ford — how does something like this even happen? Because trust me, this definitely hasn’t been going on my whole life. I woulda gotten kicked out of a lot more casinos, for one thing — not that I didn’t get kicked out of a couple anyways.”

“I have no idea,” Ford told, and then hurriedly added. “Although for the record, I don’t think it’s a Bill thing. Good luck is the complete opposite of what he would cause, even if he did come back…”

He snapped his fingers. “Except, this might be the result of Bill’s death itself, rather than his continued existence! Maybe, because you destroyed a demon, you have a sort of aura lingering about you that wards off harm and evil!”

Stan snorted. “And lets me kick your ass at dice games?”

“Well, maybe it just gives your general luck a modifier of sorts. Hold on, I have an idea.”

Ford stood up from the table to rummage around in one of the boat’s closets, and pulled out the black rod he’d used to check over the treasure chest. “I’ll admit I’ve never actually used this on a person, but I can’t think of any reason why it would be inaccurate. You should hold still just to be sure, though…”

He held the device over Stan’s head for a moment, and then lowered it so Stan could see the results. From end to end, it had lit up light blue.

“Protective magic, and a highly powerful form of it, too. No wonder the curse on that treasure got neutralized instantly. It’s confirmed — you’re a walking ward against bad luck.”

For a moment, they both just let the silence hang in the air. It felt like the type of realization that should have a certain degree of gravity to it, the type of thing that would seriously alter one’s worldview… but at the same time, they’d both seen weirder.

“Huh,” Stan finally said. “Well… what do we do now?”

Ford shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe go get kicked out of some casinos?”

“Hey, we should go someplace where there’s a bunch of different ones, like Vegas, and have a race to see who can get kicked out of the most in one night!”

“That hardly seems fair, what with you being magical and all.”

“Hey, you’re the one who’s always bragging about getting kicked out of the gambling dimension for counting cards! I wanna see how good you really are.”

“You know what, fine. But all this little race has as a prize is bragging rights; I’m not doing anything for you when you magically coast to victory!”

“Deal?” Stan asked, raising his hand for a high-six.

“Deal!”