#Mental Health discussion

[the-bar-sinister]

If you are a person who:

Has violent, abusive, harmful, or destructive thoughts

Enjoys having violent, abusive, harmful, or destructive thoughts

Enjoys fiction with violent, abusive, harmful, or destructive characters

Creates fiction with violent, abusive, harmful, or destructive characters

And you do not actually do any violent, abusive, harmful or destructive actions

You are not a bad person.

You are a good person.

Thoughts and fiction do not define morality.

Actions define morality.

Having or enjoying bad thoughts or bad fiction doesn’t mean you will act on those feelings.

Liking negative themes in fiction or having daydreams about harmful actions will not cause you to do harm.

Thoughts and fiction aren’t harmful.

[unraveling-rot]

People who refuse to understand that cvtting for attention is valid make me so, so angry. Because i'm not talking about someone who does it because they want to hurt someone else/do it as "revenge" against someone to make them feel bad, I'm talking about someone who cvts to get attention because they know something is wrong, but they don't know what that something is and they can't articulate it.

If someone is resorting to cvtting themselves to get you to look at them and pay attention to them and you brush it off as just being dramatic and attention seeking, you're not helping. And usually, a lot of us hide our sh for a reason! Even if we've been clean for a while! I hid my scars for nearly a year because I didn't want anyone to know, but even if I didn't even if I showed someone to ask for help in the only way I knew how, that would've been valid.

[apricotbuncakes]

Before we start, here is my GoFundMe to help me afford Top Surgery. I have several posts on the subject on my blog but if need be you can ask questions in my ask box.

CW: Discussion of Suicidality. No explicit actions thoughts or ideas depicting the act of suicide are written, but suicidality is discussed.

It's very difficult to explain that "I can't afford my gender affirming care" = passive suicidality.

Cuz like, I'm not gonna do anything. I've learned to not make plans at this point. (<- A joke you may laugh at). But seriously, how do I tell people "I am suicidal because I cannot get top surgery" and then ask them to donate to my GoFundMe?

I don't want to be manipulative, or even potentially be accused of it. I don't want people to pity me or say "things will get better". I know they will. I know that it's just a matter of time. I know I'm not alone. I'm not clueless. At the same time, posting the same "here's my GoFundMe so you can help me reach my goal!!! 😁😁🫰❤️❤️❤️" when my reality and thoughts are much darker is killing me. I feel fake. I feel dishonest. It's not just a casual thing to ask for money, especially $10,000 but it's what I need.

That's the key word. Need.

Top Surgery isn't something I decided on a whim. It's not something I can live without. My dysphoria is so bad. I need top surgery more than I can possibly explain. Even in this post I'm making sure to keep several things to myself because even this admission is very difficult for me. But it's safer to scream into the Tumblr void and hope my echos bounce to people who can help me than to just keep everything bottled up.

Because I cannot afford to tell my therapist and risk getting out in a hospital. Literally cannot afford it. I need to put whatever is left of each paycheck towards top surgery in order to inch closer to my top surgery goal. Sitting in a hospital won't help me in this case.

So once again here's my GoFundMe in case you can spare something.

[sweaters-and-vertigo]

so i’ve seen a lot of people talk about the symbolism of omega leaving lula behind but i haven’t seen anyone talk about what tech’s goggles mean.

in the case that tech is CX-2 (which i think we’re all pretty sold on now), i think that leaving his goggles behind means the same thing as leaving lula behind. i think that both omega and tech are past their own “point of no return” and they’re in it together. because the goggles and lula are left behind in the same place while tech brings omega back to tantiss.

i know lot of fans want tech to “bounce back” but considering the likely brain damage from his fall along with the programming in his head, i don’t think we’re going to get him back. speaking from a realistic psychological standpoint, people don’t go through that much psychological trauma and come out the other end the same way. every person has a “point of no return” and i think tech might be past his.

i guess it just depends on how you want the human mind to be represented. personally, i would prefer a realistic representation. i’ve been through a lot of bad stuff and i changed a lot because of it. i nearly went past my own “point of no return” but i didn’t. my father did go past his. my father’s “point of no return” was when he unapologetically put my life in danger repeatedly for two days. do you see any similarities? and for a long time, we all held out hope he would get better but he never did.

if the writers are going to put a character through unimaginable horrors like what tech probably experienced, the true psychological effects should be there. anything else is just fan service at best but unfair at worst. whatever happens with tech/CX-2, i just hope they do it right.

an example of this being done correctly: powder/jinx from arcane. she had a mental illness, went through extreme trauma, then some more trauma, and then went past her “point of no return” at the end of season one. i love her and i relate to her character so so much. because she’s been through a lot of horrible things just like i have except when she reached her “point of no return” she welcomed it with open arms. it was heartbreaking and beautiful. i wouldn’t have changed it for anything.

EDIT: to be fair to the tbb writers, they did an incredible job representing crosshair’s trauma. i have shaky hands too, which people never get tired of telling me or asking about it. so i do have faith in the writers. ALSO SIDENOTE, i think that crosshair met his own “point of no return” that he didn’t go past. i think that it was when his commanding officer allowed mayday to die and crosshair killed the man. if he had simply continued following orders, we would have lost him for good but he came back to us. everyone has a different event or action that they can’t come back from. sometimes it’s a choice they make or sometimes it’s a trauma they experience but it is a real thing and it should be represented accurately.

[mazyb0i]

Someone on Reddit tried to say that Rick only truly loves Beth, and to prove them wrong, so here I am!

tldr:

Character analysis of Rick Sanchez from an autistic fans point of view, understanding his attachment styles.

He'll do anything for BP, if season 6 proves anything, it's that he'll die for BP. He literally admitted to loving him, which I have not heard him tell or say about anyone before in the show. When

he does say stuff like that it is significant. Bird person is the only character on the show he has been openly genuine with.

If season 7 proves anything, Pers is the only one that can sneak up behind him and grab him out of nowhere without getting some snarky comment, mean look, or a left hook. They both care about each other deeply, that is clear. Rick was extremely

upset by the wedding with Tammy. Rick told the bird person how much he respected him more than anyone, even when he contradicted himself by saying nothing matters, he wanted to be with Percy. He wanted to travel with him and spent every moment with him.

--

"Then why did you help me?"

"I respect you, and I wanted you to know that you could respect me too."

" But if nothing matters...?"

"You matter! You matter to me."

"Uhhh- Rick... the relationship we have-"

"I never used that word!" - Rick (denialism)

--

It's funny how after this he calls him a judgmental dork, and not something much harsher.

--

"Why the fuck are you risking your life for that asshole!?" - Memory rick

"Because, you love him."

"You do maybe, but I don't."

"Yeah, yeah, you're real cool. Now, come help me save his life or fuck off, because I don't need you.

(Very much so loves BP.)

--

--

"I'm sorry Rick, but we cannot choose the ones we love" - Pers

"You got that right! Why do you think I'm still fucking down here!?"

--

Birdperson mentions that he would be dead if it wasn't for Rick, this also accounts for multiple times now since he brought BP back to life recently. Rick has stuck his neck out for the man so many times contradicting his "nothing matters" front, because that's what it is, it is a horrible coping mechanism to ignore your problems and pretend they don't exist because 'nothing matters'.

Its a problem that I have and I'm working through in therapy myself, it's called Denialism. Because 'if you shut yourself out from the world and your problems, then nothing can hurt you, and they don't exist'. You convince yourself you're in control when you're not, you have the least control, and it fucks you up. Rick isn't truly and fully nihilistic, or else literally nothing would matter to him. He makes sure to keep his Morty alive, he constantly brags on about how he can just get a new family, but he has the same Morty that he's had since the beginning and sticks his neck out for him as well.

--

"No, Morty. Because you were too afraid to tell me. What we had was abusive, don't you see? I'm a bad partner, because I never made you a true partner."

--

--

"I was afraid if I jumped in a hole you would just stand there and watch me, you wouldn't even jump in after me!" -Morty

But then Rick in season 1 literally jumped in after Morty when he fell through the garage floor into the Schrodinger's cat void.

"Be good, Morty, be better than me."

--

--

And when Rick starts crying at his memories of Morty in season One, but he refrains from expressing it so that Morty does not become, as he puts it, "cocky" (denialism)

I would also like to point out I feel like in the later seasons he starts calling Morty 'buddy' more?? he's a lot nicer to him than he used to be, and just recently allowed Morty to hug him without pushing him away, actually hugging back. He's also stated that he respects summer very deeply, which if he says that about someone, it really means that he does. He sees his Diane in Summer, and he also implies that summer is like a cat, her affection and respect needs to be earned; unlike Morty's dog like affection that is just given away. But we also hear Rick say that Morty reminds him a lot of himself when he was younger, this implies a lot of parallels.

Memory Rick brought out a lot of Rick that we didn't see previously, a person who wasn't fully tainted by the lack of treating mental Health issues, coping issues, unhealthy attachments, and all the other things that led up to Rick being the way he is. he said his heart broken so many times, he's been backstabbed, he is very hurt person. This doesn't excuse all of his actions but is a very good explanation and reason for why he is the way he is and the way the human psyche copes with it's environment to protect itself. it's like walking up to a caged animal with a taser, these are his defense mechanisms, it makes him look like a dick on the outside but currently it is the only thing that he knows how to do on instinct for protection, and that's why he's in therapy. This is why I believe he's genuinely trying to get better, he can get along with his therapist more than ever, even if he has sly remarks he genuinely listens to Mrs. Wong.

--

"I don't like being told where to go or what to do. I consider it a violation."

--

"There's a lesson here, and I won't be the one to figure it out"

--

"I don't discuss problems, I incinerate them"

--

"It was charmingly analog. For a sec, you kind of made me like myself." - Mem Rick

"You'll grow out of it." - Rick

He resents his younger self for helping him and makes sure to mention that he "grew out" of his ability to like himself, Rick has some extreme self-hatred. it's hard to fully love someone or Express a healthy relationship when you can't even have a healthy relationship with yourself.

--

"You act like you're the one that got stabbed in the back!" -Morty

"Because I AM THE ONE, Morty. You wanna know why I replaced myself in the beginning of that stupid knights of the morning sun thing!? I SAID don't take the fucking sword! And you were like "Whatever", like I'm our neighbor Jean or David Arquette or something!! You called me boring! I've become dog shit to you! That's what happens when you let people in and they stop respecting you! They touch your shit, they screw things up, they KILL your fuckin family! Go ahead and trust them, you're gonna learn the same fuckin thing." -Rick

--

[beeari]

"omg I let my intrusive thoughts win, I bleached my hair 🤪🤪"

If I ever let my intrusive thoughts win I end up in one of these places

[mistress-plant]

I love Pizzano so much, yall don't even know. Like he's just this portrayal of a man on the spectrum dealing with obvious mental health issues, who is for all intents and purposes washed up. The catharsis of him is delicious; normally most portrayals of mental health struggles leave me indifferent or angry at them. Yet whether through competent writing or sheer luck the Sugary Spire team hit the nail on it's head.

He's also baby girl and I want to cuddle him.

[professorbussywinkle]

I do believe in social progress for mental health and breaking the stigma surrounding it, but then I see hordes of tiktokers obsessively pathologizing strangers behaving in awkward ways, who have atypical or non-normative demeanors/affects, and then attribute things like narcissism and psychosis to them

and all the while believing that they genuinely understand the minutia, complexity, and gravity of these conditions, and how to accurately identify the observable traits that suggest the presence of these conditions with clinical precision, and then telling the people they arbitrarily ascribed these things to...

"yeah so...I know what psychosis and narcissism look like on a clinical level because I watch a lot of TikToks of people wearing lab coats sharing sound bytes and factoids about these things, so clearly you must just be some kind of crazy abusive bitch or something"

And I can't help but to wonder if this type of phenomenon is actively making people's perceptions of what mental illness really looks like unequivocally and categorically worse in every way imaginable

[acceptance-and-love]

♥︎♡♥︎Hyperacusis♥︎♡♥︎

As someone who hears everything too loud, it's hard to tell people to lower their voices

They get offended...

And yet...

If a deaf person asked you to speak up so they can hear?...

You'd speak louder without issue...

Why? Why, for someone who hears too loud, are you getting offended yet for a deaf person? You're not when you need to speak louder?...

It hurts when you talk so loud... when you yell... when you scream... please understand I'm not being mean... I'm just being me, my disability... my disability is me... when you're loud and high pitched it hurts me physically mentally and sometimes even emotionally at times...

My condition is Hyperacusis... I hear things you can not...

Cat alarms

Things through walls

The dishes crashing sounds like the world is crashing...

Please understand I'm not being mean... I just wish you wouldn't be mean to me...

[my-angel-only]

Me when

Me when I feel like my mental illness and sh isn't "valid" because i dont have the typical scars and people who aren't close close to me dont know about my mental illness and I'm too put together to the outside and mask so no one can "tell" that im mentally ill or suffering unless i just straight out tell them and even when I do its just "aw :( poor you :(" for a couple hours or a day at most before they move on from being sympathetic and go back to acting like I'm a healthy put together person just being lazy and avoiding getting a job and cleaning and this and that when I'm genuinely considering dropping out and just figuring out a way to get to a mental hospital before i do something that i can't take back and wont even regret but cant take the reactions of the people around me to

[mediamatinees]

“There’s chaos in you”: a Moon Knight discussion

Let this be a lesson for anyone who wants to write about mental health in pop culture. This is how it’s done. Content Warning: Moon Knight contains depictions of violence, child abuse, gaslighting, and body mutilation. United States of Tara contains discussions of child sexual abuse, ableism, and gaslighting. Viewer discretion is advised. Spoilers for Moon Knight ahead. Note: I’m just talking…

[the-spoonie-life]

So since the last update. I spoke to my GP who put me on Sertraline/ Zoloft and I also have an appointment with a counselling service next week.

I’ve picked up more shifts at work to help keep me busy and I’ve started cooking a bit.

I’m still trying to get on here a few times a week but there might be more mental health stuff appearing on the blog and more posts like this.

It’s been a long time since I did regular posts like this so we’ll see how it goes.

Anastasia

[waterspoutskies]

The Chronicles of Fuck Insurance

WE ARE PARTYING TODAY.

Went to my psych (in person! Yay! Home for the summer!) and got a refill order for my ADHD med. We love the ADHD med, I've been taking it exactly as prescribed and yeah I'll probably start running into the refill need. Cool.

The details, ladies and gentlemen and also the cryptids. I got that refill order put in from my psych for my local branch of the Brand Name Pharmacy. (This is not my pharmacy, where I get my medications from usually. I am getting ADHD medication from the Brand Name Pharmacy cause my usual pharma is on backorder. You know, all that fun stuff that's been happening lately.)

I also use this Brand Name Pharmacy for my ADHD meds while I'm at school! So there should be no issue with the medication moving to a different location of the Brand Name Pharmacy because I'm already in their system. Not even thirty minutes later I get the following text from the Brand Name Pharmacy.

NAME, Your Rx for [ADHD Med] is not covered by insurance. Order details: etc etc.

This is the same Brand Name Pharmacy that I'm already using, already a patient for. At the Brand Name Pharmacy at school, there were no issues with insurance not accepting my Rx. My prescribing doctor is the one that put the order in, I did not make the refill request, so it can't be catching on a restriction of some kind. And what's more, my prescription insurance coverage is with this Brand Name Pharmacy.

Interesting. Very interesting. So now I get to go sort that out, apparently. Just what I wanted to do today.

[tleeaves]

I feel like we haven’t talked about depersonalisation/derealisation as much as we should. to make it fun here’s a graphic (version 2) I edited as a start point for idk? research? anyway

really messy I know, I feel like it’s the vibe of the topic that’s largely just not talked about in many mental health conversations?? anyway songs and (mostly correct) lyric quotations are from when facing the things we turn away from

Context for others is that I suspect I suffer from either (or both) depersonalisation/derealisation.

The graph does make it sort of fun, though I'll be honest in that I am having trouble reading all the lyrics 😭 It's fascinating though, I've not seen a graph describing different levels before. Quite a lot of these are scary, and that's basically been my experience for many years now. A lot of fear, confusion, and a worry that I might have been losing it mentally before I realised that this problem might even have names. I cried the first night some friends reached out with the start of possible answers when I finally confessed to these episodes. There is so much relief in something as simple as being able to name a problem you're struggling with.

Happy to talk about it, because there's a lot I don't know beyond generally my own experience. My techniques in coping so far have been grounding exercises, like reciting facts about myself (full name, age, siblings, occupations, where I am) or picking something or someone near me and sort of willing myself to "stay" mentally by focusing on the present moment and feelings/sensations, though it doesn't always work. I can usually feel it coming on by sudden breathlessness, a buzz in my head, and then I enter a state of confusion where everything around me looks alien and I forget everything. The period of forgetting varies in time length, and so does the frequency of episodes (from multiple times in a day to one day every six months). I can be a bit unsteady too, and I usually have to lean on something. It feels so strange. I have to "reintroduce" myself to the people around me and the current situation like I'm coming back to a book after months except it's my life. There's been scary moments where I can't even name people or I have feelings of despair when I realise where I am and with who because it's not apparently where I want to be or where I think I should be.

So, it's frightening. And I don't really know exactly how long it's been happening or what caused it. But while the frequency has increased these last few years, I've been trying better to take care of myself and find coping mechanisms that work.

[professorbussywinkle]

As a trans woman, the most damaging thing I've experienced with doctors and psychiatrists was being diagnosed with a psychotic disorder because I was displaying "levels of emotion that are atypical for a man to experience" and they didn't know why and they just decided to called that psychosis

I'm just now coming to terms with that after seeing that my naturally high emotions are being treated as completely acceptable and fine now that I'm being perceived as a woman, and how all that time and turmoil spent being guinea pigged on various antipsychotics was complete bullshit stemming from this underlying, incredibly damaging societal belief that men are inherently unemotional, and if you are highly emotional, then doctors will be like hmm, must be some type of psychosis or something 🙃

[acceptance-and-love]

I saw send a post saying asks about your disability, so I'll send one! It's a bit of a sad story, just so you know.. but it has a great ending. This is my story of how things can get better for everyone.

I've been disabled for a few months now. My mental health was the worst it'd ever been, I was experiencing bad delusions and in december, i just couldn't do it anymore.

Then, I woke up. I survived. I had a spinal burst fracture at T 12 level. I broke my left wrist and pelvis. I had surgery on all three. I developed an incomplete spinal cord injury, giving me neurogenic bowel and bladder and ankle down paraplegia.

I was in the hospital from December 4th to February 14th. Throughout those months I learned something new. Happiness, a will to live. My depression and delusions left me. I felt like I was saved. The only reason i am here is because of pure luck. My head landed on my wrist- if it hadnt happened that way, I would've died.

I was happy to be alive. I was glad it didn't work, but my life would forever be changed.

So I'm happy now. I basically traded mental health for physical... But I'm happy. And I believe everyone can be happy. I am learning to walk again, and one day I will. it's hard but I'm ready.

Keep trying Y'all. Don't give up. I wish a good life for all of you.

My apologies if this was too much. I can't exactly share my story anywhere because of anxiety..but anonymously, I can.

<3 :-)

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us ♥︎♡♥︎

I'm glad you survived and have now found happiness, and also, I wish you luck on walking again ♥︎♡♥︎

The world can be cruel and tough, but we also learn lessons from it. May luck always be with you anon, you deserve it. And I hope you find people who deserve you and who love you.

Thank you for being brave and sharing your story with us ♥︎♡♥︎ I wish you all the very best ♥︎♡♥︎ may your recovery go well, and feel free to give us updates if ever you wish ♥︎♡♥︎

I may not know you, Anon, but know that you are loved ♥︎♡♥︎ everyone deserves happiness, especially you ♥︎♡♥︎

♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡