#One Trick Sponge

[spongebobsoundtrack]

Gregor F. Narholz - Parallel Dimension Plays in:

SpongeBob SquarePants

44b. "Idiot Box"

203a. "Pineapple Invasion" 

235a. "Plankton Paranoia" 

247b. "One Trick Sponge" 

Kamp Koral: SpongeBob's Under Years

4a. "In Search of Camp Noodist" 

The Patrick Star Show

22b. "A Root Galoot" 

34b. "Star Cruise" 

[luna-azzurra]

10 Lies Your Character Believes About Themselves (And They’d Die Before Admitting It)

These aren't the fun, Disney Channel lies like “I'm just a regular girl” while literally being a secret pop star. These are the ugly ones. The ones that get in your character’s blood and start rewriting their whole life without them noticing.

» “If people really knew me, they'd leave.” Not "might." Would. No question. So they smile bigger. They edit harder. They keep conversations surface-level. All while carrying this bone-deep certainty that love is conditional... and they are dangerously close to failing the test.

» “I have to earn every good thing.” Rest? Happiness? A day without guilt? They treat those things like prizes at the end of a brutal obstacle course. No one told them they could just have good things. No strings. No blood price. (So they keep bleeding anyway.)

» “I'm too much.” Too loud. Too intense. Too sensitive. Too complicated. They know it. They've been told. So now they pull themselves in, hold their breath, bite back everything real until they barely take up space at all. (And ironically, they still think they’re being "too much.")

» “I'm not enough.” Neat little trick, right? They’re both "too much" and "not enough" at the same time. Magic. They're convinced everyone else got the secret manual for how to be lovable and they somehow missed it.

» “If I'm strong enough, nothing can hurt me.” They call it resilience. Other people call it stubbornness. Reality calls it self-destruction. They've mistaken numbness for healing and independence for invulnerability. But hurt still gets in. It just hits harder when it’s been bottled up for years.

» “I’m responsible for everyone's happiness.” Caretaker. Peacemaker. Therapist friend. Emotional sponge. They’ve appointed themselves as everyone's safety net, believing that if they don’t hold everything together, everything will fall apart. (Newsflash: it's not their circus, and it never was.)

» “I don't need anyone.” Need is a dirty word. It’s weak. It’s dangerous. So they white-knuckle their way through life, collecting scars and pretending it’s freedom. But late at night? In the dark? They’d sell their soul for someone to just... stay.

» “I'm the villain in someone else's story and they might be right.” They know they've hurt people. Made bad calls. Left damage. And no matter how much good they do now, some part of them whispers, You don’t get to come back from that.

» “My best days are behind me.” Whether they peaked in high school, lost their shot at something important, or just carry a chronic ache of nostalgia, they believe it’s too late. That nothing good can be built from where they are now. (Which, ironically, makes them waste even more time.)

» “This is as good as it gets.” They settle. For bad love. Boring jobs. Half-dead dreams. They tell themselves it's "realistic." "Mature." "Practical." But underneath? It's fear. It's heartbreak. It's the quiet belief that hope is something they can’t afford anymore.

[milfgwen]

also can i ask. why was everyone *so* pissed at sam for killing lillith. like i get it, lillith dying was the final seal to let lucifer out. i get that. but would she not have just...killed herself? had ruby kill her? at least sam did it with good intentions

[reasonsforhope]

As relentless rains pounded LA, the city’s “sponge” infrastructure helped gather 8.6 billion gallons of water—enough to sustain over 100,000 households for a year.

Earlier this month, the future fell on Los Angeles. A long band of moisture in the sky, known as an atmospheric river, dumped 9 inches of rain on the city over three days—over half of what the city typically gets in a year. It’s the kind of extreme rainfall that’ll get ever more extreme as the planet warms.

The city’s water managers, though, were ready and waiting. Like other urban areas around the world, in recent years LA has been transforming into a “sponge city,” replacing impermeable surfaces, like concrete, with permeable ones, like dirt and plants. It has also built out “spreading grounds,” where water accumulates and soaks into the earth.

With traditional dams and all that newfangled spongy infrastructure, between February 4 and 7 the metropolis captured 8.6 billion gallons of stormwater, enough to provide water to 106,000 households for a year. For the rainy season in total, LA has accumulated 14.7 billion gallons.

Long reliant on snowmelt and river water piped in from afar, LA is on a quest to produce as much water as it can locally. “There's going to be a lot more rain and a lot less snow, which is going to alter the way we capture snowmelt and the aqueduct water,” says Art Castro, manager of watershed management at the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power. “Dams and spreading grounds are the workhorses of local stormwater capture for either flood protection or water supply.”

Centuries of urban-planning dogma dictates using gutters, sewers, and other infrastructure to funnel rainwater out of a metropolis as quickly as possible to prevent flooding. Given the increasingly catastrophic urban flooding seen around the world, though, that clearly isn’t working anymore, so now planners are finding clever ways to capture stormwater, treating it as an asset instead of a liability. “The problem of urban hydrology is caused by a thousand small cuts,” says Michael Kiparsky, director of the Wheeler Water Institute at UC Berkeley. “No one driveway or roof in and of itself causes massive alteration of the hydrologic cycle. But combine millions of them in one area and it does. Maybe we can solve that problem with a thousand Band-Aids.”

Or in this case, sponges. The trick to making a city more absorbent is to add more gardens and other green spaces that allow water to percolate into underlying aquifers—porous subterranean materials that can hold water—which a city can then draw from in times of need. Engineers are also greening up medians and roadside areas to soak up the water that’d normally rush off streets, into sewers, and eventually out to sea...

To exploit all that free water falling from the sky, the LADWP has carved out big patches of brown in the concrete jungle. Stormwater is piped into these spreading grounds and accumulates in dirt basins. That allows it to slowly soak into the underlying aquifer, which acts as a sort of natural underground tank that can hold 28 billion gallons of water.

During a storm, the city is also gathering water in dams, some of which it diverts into the spreading grounds. “After the storm comes by, and it's a bright sunny day, you’ll still see water being released into a channel and diverted into the spreading grounds,” says Castro. That way, water moves from a reservoir where it’s exposed to sunlight and evaporation, into an aquifer where it’s banked safely underground.

On a smaller scale, LADWP has been experimenting with turning parks into mini spreading grounds, diverting stormwater there to soak into subterranean cisterns or chambers. It’s also deploying green spaces along roadways, which have the additional benefit of mitigating flooding in a neighborhood: The less concrete and the more dirt and plants, the more the built environment can soak up stormwater like the actual environment naturally does.

As an added benefit, deploying more of these green spaces, along with urban gardens, improves the mental health of residents. Plants here also “sweat,” cooling the area and beating back the urban heat island effect—the tendency for concrete to absorb solar energy and slowly release it at night. By reducing summer temperatures, you improve the physical health of residents. “The more trees, the more shade, the less heat island effect,” says Castro. “Sometimes when it’s 90 degrees in the middle of summer, it could get up to 110 underneath a bus stop.”

LA’s far from alone in going spongy. Pittsburgh is also deploying more rain gardens, and where they absolutely must have a hard surface—sidewalks, parking lots, etc.—they’re using special concrete bricks that allow water to seep through. And a growing number of municipalities are scrutinizing properties and charging owners fees if they have excessive impermeable surfaces like pavement, thus incentivizing the switch to permeable surfaces like plots of native plants or urban gardens for producing more food locally.

So the old way of stormwater management isn’t just increasingly dangerous and ineffective as the planet warms and storms get more intense—it stands in the way of a more beautiful, less sweltering, more sustainable urban landscape. LA, of all places, is showing the world there’s a better way.

-via Wired, February 19, 2024

[milkoomi]

a guide to summer hygiene. ᥫ᭡

warmer weather is finally making an appearance and that means summer is even closer! let’s be real, a lot of us want to live and breathe “hot girl summer” but the heat? the sweat? yeah, that can make being an it-girl in the summer hard. it’s prime time for us all to be worrying about whether or not we smell good when we’re out and about under the summer sun, so allow me to be your big sis and hand down my best summer hygiene tips and tricks so that you can guarantee you’ll be smelling fresh as flowers all summer long!

let’s begin …

୨ৎ — body odor 101

we all absolutely dread bad smelling body odor, and some of us (me included) fear it. so let’s talk about how that not-so-nice smell can come about on our bodies.

sweat itself is odorless! it’s the bacteria on our skin that can make the sweat smell! we all have normal flora (natural bacteria) that live within our bodies and on our skin, which like the name suggests, is completely normal for our bodies to have! but sometimes that mix of bacteria and sweat can cause some pretty foul smells.

it’s also important to know that there are other factors that can be associated with body odor! hormones, diet, certain medications/vitamins/supplements, and obviously your hygiene habits can impact how you smell!

we also have two different sweat glands: eccrine glands & apocrine glands!

eccrine glands — they secrete sweat directly onto the skin to provide a cooling effect on our bodies

apocrine glands — most commonly found glands in the armpit area as well as the groin area ; this is where the body odor can stem from! due to the hair that grows in those two specific areas, bacteria can mix better with the sweat our bodies produce

important to note: your body hair is nothing to be ashamed of! whether you’re a woman, nonbinary, a man, or however you identify, your body hair is natural and it’s all completely up to you, and you alone, to decide whether or not you shave, trim, wax, or keep your body hair! having body hair does not mean you have poor hygiene!

୨�� — it all starts in the shower

it’s already a very obvious given that showering every single day is a must when it comes to achieving good and proper hygiene, so please make sure you’re hopping into the shower daily my loves! especially if you spent the entire day sweating, which will most likely happen during the warmer seasons!

like we discussed in the previous section, body odor is a mix of the sweat we produce and the bacteria that is living on the skin. so, if you are more prone to sweating or you were grinding at the gym or you went for a walk in the heat, do not forget to shower!

double cleansing the body

just as we double cleanse our face and hair, we should also double cleanse the body! i’ve mentioned this in a previous post with hygiene tips, but it’s good to do an initial cleanse to remove all the sweat, grime, and dirt from the day and then follow up with another cleanse to ensure that you’re body is squeaky clean and smelling fresh!

1st cleanse: can be an unscented or a scented soap/body wash, does not have to be an antibacterial wash (but it can be if you so choose), can be a bar soap or gel/liquid body wash

2nd cleanse: i recommend this 2nd cleanse to be something scented, but it doesn’t have to be! having at least one body wash/soap be scented can just amplify that clean and fresh smell of your body!

soap is soap. body wash is body wash. simply put: either way, you will be clean! you don’t have to go out and buy medical-grade soaps to clean your body. Dove is a great and affordable option! they have a great selection of bar soaps and body washes that will leave you smelling good and feeling clean!

loofas are not your friend

i’ve also talked about this in another post, but loofas harbor so much bacteria! and, again, bacteria + sweat = bad b.o.

African net sponges have been a god-send for me! they last for years, are machine washable, stretchy (making it easier to wash those hard to reach areas), and dry completely which makes it harder for bacteria to develop because bacteria thrive in moist/wet environments! which is why loofas are a no-go! standard wash cloths are also a great option, so long as you’re replacing it after every shower!

୨ৎ — post-shower rituals

what happens after your shower also plays a huge role into your hygiene! good and proper hygiene doesn’t stop in the shower!

dry all the cracks & crevices thoroughly

for my angels with coochies, please make sure you are completely dry down there! and make sure your underarms and any other cracks (and yes, i also mean the backdoor crack) and crevices are 100% dry!

put on deodorant immediately after your shower

as soon as your underarms are bone dry, put on deodorant! specifically an antiperspirant one! if you shower at night, it’s absolutely key to put on deodorant after your nightly shower because you could be sweating a lot more than you might think while you sleep! that antiperspirant is going to help keep your underarms smelling good and also help prevent that buildup of bacteria mixing with your sweat and creating a not-so-sweet smell.

cool off with a fan

if you take warmer/hot showers like me, i seriously recommend sitting in front of a fan after your shower or getting a fan (that fits in your bathroom) to help you cool off after your shower.

you probably just took the most amazing shower ever and you feel so nice and clean, but it’s hot as hell in your bathroom? get a fan! as you’re drying off the rest of your body and going through the rest of your post-shower routine, do you really want to do all of that in a hot and steamy room? getting sweaty all over again?

୨ৎ — every day & on-the-go tips

put deodorant in your purse/bag

if you’re a heavy sweater, bring deodorant with you and reapply it as you go about your day! you’ll never know when you might need it, especially if you’re spending all day outside in the summer!

carry body wipes with you

again, if you’re out all day and you’re needing a little freshening up, body wipes will be your best friend! these are especially good if you need to wipe down your underarms and then you can reapply deodorant so that you’re not layering a good smell over something that may not smell so good!

pack extra clothes

if you’re outside somewhere whether it’s a festival, amusement park, or even the park and you know you won’t be heading home for a while, pack an extra set of clothes! if you have the room in your bag, pack a new pair of underwear, shirt, pants, & even socks!

travel sized perfumes and/or body mists

i feel like people already know this, but seriously put a travel sized bottle of perfume/body spray in your bag! it’s always a good idea to reapply a good fragrance!

change your bed sheets weekly

again, this is another tip that’s pretty much a given, but during the warmer seasons it’s even more important to change your bed sheets regularly!

final notes —

the warmer seasons are just around the corner! i know a lot of us feel like we blossom and flourish in the spring/summer! me, personally, i feel the most beautiful freshly showered and ready for the day ahead! so think of your hygiene routine as a part of your beauty routine!

with lots of love, faustina 🌷

[3liza]

hello. you can crack open any of these "disposables" like an oyster and refill them. you don't need to throw a lithium battery away just because the e-juice ran out. buy some e-juice. it's cheap. or make your own. you can drip it into the top of the sponge in there or take the sponge out and soak it or use a syringe to saturate the sponge from top to bottom directly. be careful not to rip the delicate little wires off the circuitboard or the battery, but even if you did, you could re-solder it. "disposable" vapes are one of the biggest consumer scams going rn and it makes me really mad

the lithium and cobalt in these batteries are being destructively mined from multiple places in the world including Congo. you can save an enormous amount of money, time, and avoid contributing to mineral exploitation all at once with this one weird trick

edit: please don't refill nicotine vapes with weed oil or weed vapes with nicotine liquid. different kinds of vapes and also there will be an oil/water problem. refill nicotine vapes with nicotine liquid and weed vapes with weed oil. don't cross-contaminate. I don't think anything catastrophic will happen, I just think it will break the vape and waste your time

[pukefactory]

Hello :D May I request some Oliver headcannons with reader from the main story of Threadville? Mostly about reader being an enigma despite looking like a puppet, like being able to crack their fingers or knuckles, swim and spill blood (puppets don’t have bones, get waterlogged if they attempt to swim, and have stuffing). That sort of thing :P

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. WITHIN DIRT, FLESH GROWS .* :☆ﾟ.

✿ Summary: A Compilation of Headcanons Featuring Oliver X Human-Like Puppet Reader

✿ Character(s): Oliver (Threadville)

✿ Genre: Headcanons, SFW

✿ Warning(s): None - Completely Safe!

✿ Image Credits: @supernob12three on X

❀ You cracked your knuckles once in front of him—absentminded, offhand, just a little pop-pop-pop of bone and tension. Oliver dropped his trowel. “Jeepers! Was that your… hands makin’ that sound?” He leaned in, eyes rounder than saucers. “Weren’t no stuffing in there,” he whispered, like the garden weeds might be listening. He didn’t sleep easy that night, wondering what else inside you could bend without snapping.

❀ When you swam across the creek to save a floating turnip basket, he screamed so loud a flock of mourning doves took off. “You’re gonna get soggy! You’re gonna—wait… you’re… floatin’?” You emerged soaked, breathless, not bloated like a sponge left in the rain. Oliver blinked as you rung out your shirt, unwaterlogged. “Huh,” he muttered, holding his straw hat like a lifeline, “You really ain’t built like the rest of us, huh?” He didn’t stop you. But the next time, he followed with floaties and a rope—just in case.

❀ He once saw you bleed. Just a scrape—barely more than a paper cut. But the moment that red welled up, thick and metallic and not thread, Oliver backed up three steps and gasped like he’d seen a ghost. “Th-that ain’t stuffing…” He offered you a napkin, hands shaking like leaves in the wind. “Y-you alright? I didn’t mean to hurt you—oh jeepers—should I get Veena? Or a Band-Aid? Or a priest?”

❀ Veena doesn’t like you. Oliver doesn’t get why. But when he asked, she only said: “You brought something in that doesn’t belong. Something that walks like us but bleeds like something else.” Now when he has tea parties with her, he brings you up a little quieter. But not with any less fondness.

❀ Your laugh sounds different. Not stitched together like the others’. Not cued-up or pre-looped. It starts in your chest and shakes your ribs and comes out full and uneven. Organic. Oliver didn’t know laughter could crack like that— He likes it. He really does. But every now and then, he stares too long. Like he’s wondering if it’s real, or if you’re just really good at pretending.

❀ He tried teaching you how to sew a button one afternoon. You pricked your finger on the needle and bled. A single drop bloomed scarlet on the white thread like a firefly. Oliver stared. “I… I think the button’s cursed now.” You offered to finish it. He said no. He gave you his peanut butter and jelly sandwich as a peace offering. He doesn’t know why he was so scared, but it felt like he pricked something deeper than a finger.

❀ He likes how warm you are. Most folks here are soft and cool to the touch—felt or corduroy or cotton. But when your arm brushes his, he feels skin. He feels heat. He swears you’re like holding a pocketful of summer. And it confuses him—Because puppets don’t keep warmth. So where are you getting it from?

❀ He saw your shadow move when you didn’t. Not in a scary way—just… out of step. You turned your head. The shadow didn’t. Not right away. It caught up a moment later like it had forgotten to. Oliver didn’t mention it. But he pulled his hat lower over his eyes and whispered to himself: “Sun’s playin’ tricks again…” (But it wasn’t sunny.)

❀ You once helped Oliver with the morning harvest. He handed you a spade, not expecting much. Then you hoisted a squash as big as Rocky without so much as a grunt. He gawked. “You’re stronger than Rocky!” When you shrugged and cracked your back with an audible pop, Oliver nearly fainted. He called you “Farmhand of the Future” and gave you an extra slice of rhubarb pie out of sheer, wide-eyed awe.

❀ One evening, after a long day of planting, you two lay back in the field. He looked over at you, drowsy and thoughtful. “You’re real funny, you know that?” “…Funny how?” He squinted up at the stars. “Funny like… you don’t fit here. But not in a bad way. Like you’re somethin’ carved, not sewn. Like maybe you were meant to be here all along… just not made the way the rest of us were.” He smiled. “I think that’s alright, though. You still help the turnips grow just fine.”

[omedapixel]

MORE DEBUG OBJECTS

By poular demand, here are the rest of the prop and miscellaneous objects enabled for decorating! I don't have any pics right now, but the full list of objects is below the cut, and each package is merged by expansion pack.

As with my other debug objects, these can all be found under DEBUG > MISC. The catalog names are often something weird, because I haven't edited or added any strings.

These objects are technically not CC, it just allows you to access and decorate with objects that are already in game. Therefore you can uninstall these overrides, share worlds and lots using them, and they'll still remain wherever you've placed them.

Also, if you have a default replacement for any of these props, for example a plate default, then the object will also be updated to reflect that.

I highly reccomment using this in conjunction with my S3DT mod, since some of the objects are half sunk into the ground by default.

DOWNLOAD HERE

Object List Below

BASE GAME:

Guitar Case

Amplifier

Bottle Spigot (unused asset)

Child Ladle

Child Mixing Bowl

Cutting Board (slots do no work, unfortunately)

Fire Extinguisher

Fire Poker

Fire Lighter

Hammer

Bartending Bottle Prop

Ice Cream Cone

Microwave Meal

Paper Plate

Screwdiver

Sponge

Toilet Brush

Wedding Ring

Wrench

WORLD ADVENTURES:

Canteen

Chopsticks

Dig Site Brush

Flour Bag

Fortune Cookie

Map (looks like plain parchment)

Nectar Glass

Nectar Tray

Pamphlet

Pickaxe

Pungi (snake charming instrument)

AMBITIONS:

Chisel

Fire Axe

Blowtorch

Chainsaw

Detonator

Gnubb Bunny

Gnubb King

Junk Pipe Piece

Magnifying Glass

Notepad

Shovel

Tape Measure

Tattoo Gun

Triangle Ruler

Walkie Talkie

LATE NIGHT:

Drink Shaker

Drumstick

Party Glass

Round Party Glass

Bartending Bottle Prop

Juice Can

GENERATIONS:

Envelope

Love Letter Envelope

Cheap RAM Disk

Expensive RAM Disk

Beaker

Rolled Diploma

Flashlight

Game Controller

Greeting Card

Round Flask

Sparkling Juice (champagne)

PETS:

Hoofpick

Adult Pitchfork

Child Pitchfork

Plastic Pet Food Bowl

Cat Hunting Chip Bag

Cat Hunting Feather

Cat Hunting Leaf

Dog Treat

Foal Bottle

Horse Brush

Litter Scoop

Pet Brush

Stick (for playing fetch)

Freezer Bunny Ice Cream

Kitty Litter Pile

Rainbow Ice Cream

(forgot to do the chocolate ice cream, sorry!)

SHOWTIME:

CD Case

Record

Golf Ball

Juggling Pin

Microphone (grey)

Snack Bowl

Headphones

Golf Club Average

Golf Club Expert

Golf Club Old

Firefly Jar

FireflyJar Lid

Juggling Knife

Magician Sword

SUPERNATURAL:

Fly Swatter

White Glove

Bonehilda Key

Alchemy Bowl

Alchemy Package

Beehive Smoker

SEASONS:

Horseshoe

Child Rake

Adult Rake

Barista Bar Cup

Egg Hunt Basket

Trick or Treat Basket

Carving Knife

Fruit Punch

Hot Beverage Cup

Stack of Hot Dogs

Love Letter

Pie (from eating contest)

Snow Cone Syrup

Soccer Ball

Tissue

Spooky Day Candy

UNIVERSITY:

Clipboard

Red Juice Cup

Art Scanner

Bonfire Logs

Candy Bar

Cold One

College Letter

Energy Drink

Manilla Envelope

Macot Plushy

Ping Pong Ball

Ping Pong Paddle

Mistletoe (unused asset)

Protest Banners (3 versions)

Protest Flyer

Smartphone

Soda Can

Paint Sray Can

Suitcase

Whiteboard Eraser

Whiteboard Marker

ISLAND PARADISE:

Broom

Coconut Drink

Cold Beverage

Grim Reaper Trident

Pineapple Drink

Rescue Tube

Glass Bottle Pool Bar

Pool Bar Juice Can

INTO THE FUTURE:

Microphone (black)

OIl Puddle

Stardust

Paper Bag

[fear-is-truth]

hii I wanna request, I hope you’re alright with it. the reader pissed off peter maximoff REALLY BAD and then he stuffed her like a twinkie all over again :3

G A M E O V E R

── peter maximoff x f!reader | nsfw ‧ mdni

tags: brat! reader. dom! peter. vagināl fingēring. dirty talk. manhandling. force feeding. unprotected p in v. creampie. not proofread, english is not my 1st/2nd language. 1.8k

a/n: this is kinda rushed, sorry if it’s bad. ‘m busy with college prep and all that shit :(

You were sprawled out on the couch in your boyfriend’s mum’s basement, growing increasingly bored as he remained glued to the Pac-Man machine. Peter was hell-bent on beating his high score, but all you wanted was for him to come over and cuddle with you. You shifted on the couch, huffing dramatically, but he didn’t even glance your way.

You spotted a box of Twinkies on the side table and smiled. Maybe a little distraction would do the trick. You grabbed one from the box, aimed it at the back of his head, and tossed it.

In a split second, Peter’s left hand shot out, catching the snack without even looking away from the screen.

“Nice try,” he muttered, ripping open the wrapper with his teeth and stuffing the snack into his mouth. He tossed the wrapped behind his back, still hunched over the arcade cabinet.

Undeterred, you grabbed another Twinkie and launched it at him. This time, Peter spun around with that infuriatingly cocky smirk, catching it in midair.

“Really?” he chuckled before turning back to his game.

Oh, it was on.

You reached for a third Twinkie, aiming carefully, and let it fly. Peter caught it again, faster than you could blink.

“Are you done?” he asked, his tone playfully annoyed, still focused on the game.

But you were far from done. With an annoyed huff, you grabbed another Twinkie and hurled it with all the force you could muster. The snack flew across the room, and for a moment, you thought you might miss again—but this time, Peter didn’t catch it. The Twinkie smacked the back of his head just as his Pac-Man character turned a corner, running straight into a ghost.

The sound of the game dying filled the room—first the distinctive womp womp womp as the ghost devoured Pac-Man, followed by the shrill bee-doop bee-doop as the screen flashed “Game Over.”

Peter’s hand froze on the joystick, his character fading from the screen, leaving only the taunting “Game Over” message blinking.

He slowly turned around, and you could see the mix of irritation and disbelief in his eyes.

“You did not just do that,”

You leaned back into the couch, giving him your most innocent look, going so far as to pout.

“What? I was just trying to help you… take a small break,”

But Peter wasn’t having it. In a flash, he was right in front of you, using his speed to pin you down on the couch before you could even process what was happening. His hands grabbed your wrists, pressing them above your head, his face hovering just inches above yours.

“You’re really askin’ for it, aren’t you?”

He muttered, and you could sense the anger rolling off him in waves, but the defiant smirk on your face never faltered. You bit your lip, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. He leaned down, his face hovering just inches from yours, and you could catch the faint scent of sugar on his breath.

“Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?” you taunted, trying to keep your voice steady, even as your heart raced in your chest.

Peter’s eyes narrowed, a devious smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. Without breaking eye contact, he reached over to the side table and grabbed one of the Twinkies you’d been pelting him with earlier. He tore open the wrapper with his teeth, the sound of crinkling plastic breaking the tense silence between you.

Before you could even process what was happening, Peter’s hand shoved the sponge cake into your mouth, forcing the damn thing between your lips.

“Mghmm–”

Your eyes widened in shock as the sugary treat filled your mouth, your protests muffled by the sudden intrusion. Choking and spluttering, you attempted to push the Twinkie out with your tongue, but Peter was relentless. His hands moved to pin your shoulders down, holding you in place on the couch as he leaned over you, his smirk widening as he watched your struggle.

“Thought you wanted a snack,” Peter taunted,“that ought to do the trick.”

You glared up at him, trying to shoot him a look that was equal parts annoyance and defiance. Peter’s smug grin only grew wider as he watched you try to chew and swallow the Twinkie, your cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk.

“Unless… you want something else stuffed inside you,”

You glared back at him, still breathing heavily from the surprise attack. In the next moment, his hand was on your thigh, moving under your skirt with purpose that sent desire stirring inside your loins. A small moan escaped your lips as his fingers brushed against your panties, teasing the wet spot there.

Pushing aside the fabric, his nimble fingers delved into your folds, stroking and teasing, drawing out your arousal. You arched into his touch, hips bucking as he circled your clit with his thumb. Without warning, he unceremoniously plunged two fingers into you, sinking to the knuckles. A strangled yelp escaped your lips at the sudden intrusion and your pussy clenched when his digits curled against your sweet spot.

“That’s it,” he cooed, scissoring his fingers. “Get all nice and wet for me.”

You could feel the pressure building inside you, your muscles tensing as Peter worked you higher and higher. Just as you were about to crest, he pulled his hand away, leaving you aching and empty.

Peter wasted no time, his hands finding your upper arms. With a swift movement, he flipped you onto your stomach, the couch creaking as you squirmed under him.

“Peter…’s not fair…” you whined, sounding way more whiney and pathetic than you’d intended, but you were too worked up to care. He straddled your hips, legs on either side of you. You could feel his hardness press against your ass, warmth radiating through your clothes as he leaned down,

“Wow, this is rich, comin’ from the brat who was hurling Twinkies at me five minutes ago.”

This was it—the moment you secretly hoped for. You bit your lip, quivering with excitement.

He didn’t waste any time unzipping his fly and shoving down his jeans. He then yanked down your panties before gripping your thighs, spreading them apart as he positioned himself between them. His cock slide smoothly into your wetness with a lewd squelch and you gasped, toes curling as he filled you up. It felt amazing, the familiar heat in your stomach.

“Fuck,” Peter groaned, his voice strained.

“You feel so fucking good,”

Hands gripping firmly on your hips, he pulled out almost completely before slamming back into you, the flesh of your ass smacking loudly against his pelvis.

“Aahhh— oh god,”

You mewled, feeling his fat tip graze your g-spot. His pace was relentless, his cock plunging in and out you with an animalistic fervor. The couch shook under the force of his thrusts, and you clutched at the cushions, nails digging into the fabric as your body rocked. Peter’s free hand roamed over your body, cupping your breast and squeezing it roughly.

You arched your back, offering yourself to him, your pleasure growing as he jackhammered his girth into you. The slapping sound of flesh meeting flesh filled the basement, your moans and whimpers interspersed with Peter’s grunts.

“Love Twinkies so much, huh? How ‘bout I stuff that sweet pussy full of cum?”

he taunted, his pace quickening. Delirious, you simply nodded, unable to form words as the pleasure built to a crescendo. Your pussy clenched around him, greedily urging him deeper. Peter’s breath was hot on your neck, his voice low as he swore at you between thrusts. You could feel his cock throbbing inside you, the evidence of his approaching climax.

His grip on your hips tightened, and with one final, powerful thrust, he buried himself deep inside you. You cried out as you reached the peak, your orgasm washing over you in waves. Peter followed close behind, his hips jerking as he pumped you full with his release. He stayed inside you for a moment, thrusting languidly until a white ring formed around the base of his cock, dribbling onto the couch.

He collapsed onto your back, panting heavily. You lay underneath him, basking in the post-coital glow, feeling both satisfied and slightly ashamed of the events that led to this moment. The room fell silent once more, save for the sound of your heavy breathing and Peter’s ragged gasps. He rested his chin on your shoulder, hands still holding onto your hips.

“If you want my attention, just ask, m’kay? Never mess with my Pac-Man again.”

he slurred, pressing a kiss to your temple. You rolled your eyes, smiling despite yourself.

“Fine,”

 fear-is-truth 2024 — all rights reserved. do not modify, repost, translate, or plagiarise my content.

[i2rizz]

So basically, I was watching one of those sinful TikToks where they pour like, five different cleaning powders into a sink and then squish the sponge all dramatically—and my caveman brain went “mmm crunchy powder" I KNEW I couldn’t eat that, so I did what any desperate goblin would do—I grabbed flour. FLUFFY. WHITE. FAKE CLEANING POWDER. And shoved a spoonful into my mouth. Instant choke. My soul left my body. I tasted drywall and regret. Anyway, that trauma birthed this masterpiece.I turned it into a fanfic concept, because why suffer alone when I can write and laugh ab it as a coping mechanism? You're welcome.

Impulsive thoughts gone wrong Pt.1

Rin, isagi, kaiser,nagi

Rin Itoshi

You’re standing in the kitchen, staring into ur phone like it’s the gates of heaven. A TikTok is playing on loop. Some girl with acrylics is squeezing sponge with powder and bleach while lo-fi music plays. She lifts the sponge. It squelches. The powder falls in slow motion.

It’s beautiful.

It’s divine.

It’s edible.

—Wait no. It’s literally not.

But something in your brain short circuits. You whisper, "I need to know…"

You grab the flour.

Just one spoon. You get a huge heaping scoop like it’s fucking soup. You hesitate. "It's not ajax bleach powder. It’s food. It’s fine"

You put it in your mouth.

Instant regret. It’s like chalk went to hell and came back gritty. You start coughing violently, leaning over the sink.

Rin walks in with his protein shake, takes one look, and just goes:

"...Did you eat drywall?"

You gag. "Flour"

He stares at you in absolute silence for ten seconds.

"Why?"

You weakly show him the TikTok.

He watches. Raises a single brow. "You tried to eat cleaning product?"

You nod, teary-eyed.

He mutters, "I’m gonna go date a normal person. Like a bank robber or a lizard tamer" But then pats ur back akwardly anyway because he’s soft like that.

Isagi Yoichi

You're pacing like a caged animal in the kitchen. Your phone is open to a cleaning ASMR TikTok. Sponge. White powder. Water. More powder. Squeeze.

You audibly whimper.

"God it looks so tasty"

You slap yourself. "It’s literally bleach and detergent"

But still, your eyes flick to the bag of flour. It’s the closest dupe. White. Powdery. You start rationalizing like a war criminal.

"I’m not gonna eat it. I’ll just… put it in my mouth for the texture"

You scoop it and in it goes.

Instantly you become the Sahara Desert. It’s like your mouth got punched by a powdered donut from hell.

You’re dry heaving in the sink when Isagi comes in, humming. He freezes.

You whip around, white powder all over your mouth and chin.

Isagi drops his water bottle. "WHAT DID YOU SNORT?!"

You try to explain through hacking coughs. He holds your face like, "Babe. Babe. Did you eat cocaine?? Did someone trick you into a pyramid scheme for flour cocaine??"

You show him the TikTok. He looks horrified.

"You ate flour because it looked like bleach cleaning powder?"

You nod, face red.

Signs, whispering, "This is worse than that time you tried to microwave grapes because you read about plasma"

Michael Kaiser

You’ve been watching cleaning TikToks for hours. You’re twitching. Not even for the clean aesthetic—no. You want the powder. You want it.

But you're rational. Mostly. You know you can’t just eat bleach powder. You’re not that far gone.

You pace. You start googling "powder that looks like sink cleaner but won’t kill me"

Flour.

It’s all you got.

You go in.

Mid-choke, Kaiser walks in with a smug grin. "Hey, babe, I was thinki—what the actual fuck?"

You turn around like a raccoon in headlights, flour dripping from your lips. You cough so hard your soul almost leaves your body.

He’s laughing before you can even speak. "Did someone dare you to commit a war crime against your digestive system?"

You try to show him the TikTok, wheezing. He doesn't even look at it.

He just sits on the counter, still laughing, and goes:

"You know, I expected chaos. But not… culinary suicide"

He’s still laughing when he wipes your mouth with a paper towel and deadpans, "I love you, but you need to be on a government watchlist"

Nagi Seishiro

It starts innocent. You’re curled up in bed, watching your favorite cleaning account. Powder. Water. Sponge. Squish. Repeat.

You can smell the video.

"God I wanna eat it," you mutter. Then your logical side kicks in. "It’s bleach. Don’t be insane"

You walk to the kitchen. Stare at the flour bag.

Ten minutes later, you’re hunched over the sink, choking.

Nagi wanders in like a ghost, scratching his stomach. "...Did you eat something weird?"

You glare at him, eyes teary. "I ate flour"

"Why?"

"I wanted to eat bleach powder but I didn’t wanna die"

He just nods. "Makes sense"

“What?”

"I licked a glue stick once ‘cause I liked the smell"

You both stare at each other. Soulmates. Absolute menaces.

Then he goes back to bed, mumbles, "Text me if you die"

[craske]

do you think there would be any future posibility for dejammed shmilk to grow fond of the younger cookies(ginger, wizard, strawberry, etc) and maybe his entertainer persona could come to play in showing them cool things or tricks?

the fucking giggle i let out when i read this ask. anon, you know me so well

anyway, a bit more of a serious answer, thats honestly one of main things that made me wanna start this au. i love character exploration, observing them under a microscope and putting them in situations (especially difficult or unusual to them personally) to see how theyd act.

i really want to put shilk through the horrors of regaining something that he lost a long time ago when he started corrupting. and now that he is basically a regular cookie again, he has the opportunity to interact with others. and the more he spends time with others, the more familiar everything becomes. the hostility and malice slowly melts when he actually realizes that teaching again, or trying to get a genuine laugh out of someone feels... good?

sharing his knowledge with the pink robot kid who soaks up all of it like a sponge and always wants to learn more, or teaching the self-taught wizard hat twerp some more complicated magics, or organizing a show that doesnt require tormenting people, instead providing them with actual fun times is a surprisingly nice change

and it only gets worse when the inevitable soft spot starts forming. oh the horrors, disgusting. all of this is temporary while they work towards a common goal. he cant have a funny feeling in his chest when children let out a genuine laugh, or when the little wizard gleefully manages to cast a difficult spell they both have been working on. unacceptable, stomp that feeling down into the ground and bury it

i wont say he mellows out that much though, i dont want for him to lose what makes him a fun character. plus itd just erase not only what he has done, but also what he experienced. i dont want it to be a total redemption and change of character, but at the same time... i just like the stories where villains/antagonists have to work with the protagonists for one reason or another, becoming begrudging allies and starting to actually bond (megamind or coach oleander and loboto, not to mention earlier ice king or dr nefarious and many other cases)

also, in case anyone wondered if it also includes the other beasts...

hehe

[pinkxpantha]

Suspicions, Scones, and Scandals.

diluc x GN!reader

#: synopsis- How the year long secret between you and Diluc is revealed, turns out the greatest bachelor of Mondstadt isn't a bachelor?!

#: cw- 3.4k words, they/you pronouns. Use of Mx, Traveler is left up to interpretation (Aether or Lumine), Kaeya, Venti, Paimon also mentioned, secret relationship, established relationship, Diluc loves like it's the only thing he knows how to do, fluff, Diluc is in mourning (you went to fontaine) no s/o = no life, Donna mentioned for a sentence and lowkey can't decide which one of you to be jealous of, no beta we die like Crepus.

Diluc polished the glass he held in his hand. It was quiet, beautifully so. The loud chatter of drunkards during the usual weekdays were now replaced with the delicate silence of his environment.

Diluc could see his own reflection in the wine glass, it glinted with the casual lighting of Angel's Share. 

Before he heard the door creaking open, he saw the peaks of blue. Who else could it be other than Kaeya.

He waltzed through the door, the corner of his mouth tilting upwards when he saw Diluc.

Diluc turned to face his brother, clenching his jaw in preparation for the relentless teasing he's recieved for the past few days.

Diluc made the fatal mistake of glancing over in your direction when you were talking to someone.

 Kaeya picked up on this immediately. Like a sponge he soaked every single interaction between the two of you to compile into a theory of Diluc's clear infatuation over you.

As much as Diluc wished Kaeya would stop sending him playful glances each time your name was brought up, he couldn't deny some of his words held a hint of truth to them.

Although he wouldn't say ‘his eyes had their own heartbeat’ whenever he glanced at you. whatever that meant.

“Ah, Diluc! Pleasure to see you here.” Kaeya greeted. Flashing him a small grin as he sat down on the stools in front of the bar.

“I wish I could say the same to you.” 

Kaeya only laughed in a placating manner.

“Brother, is that any way to treat your future best man?” 

Diluc deadpanned at Kaeya's audacious words.

“What do you want?” He sighed as he threw the rag over his shoulder.

“Aside from good wine, a fine chat would do.” 

Diluc swiveled around after he got Kaeya's order. 

“I'm not your in house entertainment,” he spoke. “If you wanted entertainment you should've come during the weekend.”

Diluc huffed and placed the empty glass in front of Kaeya.

“Better yet, go elsewhere.”

Kaeya shrugged, “Of course Master Diluc, I'll keep that in mind for the future.”

Diluc continued to prepare Kaeya's drink. The sooner he left, the better. He didn't need to hear his incessant teasing. 

If he glanced back, he might've seen Kaeya's gaze locked onto his gloves. 

Kaeya carefully investigated the lumps of fabric. Was it just the light playing tricks on him, or did that seem like the outline of a ring?

Soon the tavern door opened again, and Diluc resists the urge to sigh. 

Yes this is his job, but that doesn't mean he has to enjoy all parts of it.

Diluc sets Kaeya's drink in front of him, his gaze raised ever so slightly.

Then it locks on yours. You look like how he expects you to. You bring him a warmth him pyro vision could never mimic.

Then he remembered who else was in the room with him. He gave you a curt nod, trying to indicate something to you.

“Suddenly the atmosphere feels a lot colder.” Kaeya said.

You cleared your throat, a small black box in your hand. Wrapped in a gorgeous red velvet colored flat of fabric. You fiddled absent-mindedly with the ribbon. 

“Sorry Kaeya, I was just a bit distracted.” 

He smiled as he turned to the side, giving him a better view of both Diluc and you.

Diluc adjusted his tie, and brushed his hair back. Something he clearly didn't think much of. (Unlike the man that stared at him as he did so.)

He huffed amused. ”Don't worry about it Mx. [Name], at least with your company I won't have to worry about someone brooding anymore.”

Diluc shot Kaeya a glare from the corner of his eye.

‘Don't say anything you'll regret.’

Kaeya only smirked.

‘I rarely regret a thing I've said.’

You cleared your throat at the poorly disguised tension in the room. Snapping Diluc out of his in-between conversation with Kaeya. 

“Good evening.” You greeted the both of them.

You walked over to one of the wooden stools. It was solid, carefully made so that even with the hours of use it acquired over its long carrier of chairness you couldn't find a single trace of weathering or possible splinters.

“So what brings you here? I didn't take you for a drinker.” Kaeya hums, taking a small sip of his wine.

You shake your head, “I'm not here to have a drink, dealing with a hangover tomorrow would be horrible.” You shivered. 

“Do you not handle your alcohol well?”

“Kaeya.” Diluc scolds.

“What? I'm making conversation.”

“Don't make me kick you out.” 

Kaeya sighed, curling his bottom lip into a pout in an exaggerated fashion.

“I haven't even finished my drink yet, surely you'd let me enjoy this first.”

You smiled at the interaction.

And just for a second Diluc's eyes met yours. You were looking at him so.. openly? He couldn't decipher that stare of yours. He could feel the slight amusement in your stare.

You were such a force of confusion in his life, but with you he didn't need much reason. His ears tilted red with each second longer your eyes met together. 

You took pity on him, breaking eye contact first. “I'm not a lightweight, I just tend to go overboard.”

Kaeya chuckles at the clarification. “Aha I see.”

You placed the box onto the counter, the sound amplified by the silence that shrouded the room.

Diluc leaned over the counter of the bar, he used his elbow as a prop for his head. He blinked at the foreign object. A slight intrigue made him want to open it.

But… three's a crowd.

Clearly that sentiment slid out of his brain, bouncing around the room before it pointedly made its way to Kaeya.

He paused before sighing. “As much as I would love to indulge in these tendencies I do have some work to get back to.” Kaeya placed the mora he owed onto the table, before taking out a flash attached at his hip and pouring the rest of the wine down it.

“Ah, already?” You murmured.

“Unfortunately so.” He nods, “Very well then, see you both soon.”

You both bid him goodbye, and he sent a wink(you think??) in Diluc's direction.

As soon as you both hear the click of the door the atmosphere concentrates around the two people in the room. Both of you relax, a breath of shared comfort between the two of you. 

You nudge the box closer to Diluc, his red hair falling against his face slightly as he tilts his head in your direction.

Archons you really need to know how he keeps it so well maintained..? 

“This is?” He picks the box up in his hands, it feels miniscule in his palm.

“For you.” You said simply.

He blinked, “What's the occasion?” 

You shook your head, “It reminded me of you.”

He hesitated. A gift from you wasn't a rarity, yet it still felt odd each time he recieved one just… because?

He opened the box, it was two things. A hairpin. It was a solid metal, the imagery of a flower with its petals dyed red. Golden accents adorned the sides. It shimmered in regality with the dimmed lighting of the tavern glinting against the metal.

The next piece was made in similar fashion. The silhouette mimicked the frame of the hairpin but in a much more minimalistic fashion. It was a gorgeous deep red, a notable tie clasp.

“These.. are beautiful, [Name].” He said. 

You agreed, “So, you're calling yourself beautiful?” 

“...” 

Before he could sigh from exasperation he saw the teasing glint in your eyes. “If that's what you see me as, I can't help but not trust your judgement.” He leaned further into you, a small smirk playing against his lips. 

You felt your face warm up, for a guy that was so content with shrouding himself in intrigue and mystery, his eyes betrayed that reputation. 

They were so clear, if you looked directly into them you might've seen the mini Diluc’s running around scrambling to formulate his thought process.

The ombre of red and orange harmonized into a blazing ichor that threatened to swallow you whole.

He looked back at you, and you swore his eyes burned through your soul. His features were so tightly knit in comparison to his wide red eyes.

“You're not being fair right now.. stop looking at me like that.” You huffed.

 “Don't you spend your time searching for the beauties of this world? Don't tell me you've given up on that goal already.” 

This guy… he could be cunning when he wanted to.

You didn't allow yourself to falter, seeing this as a battle risking life or death. There was no way you weren't going to win this battle of flustering the other. (Diluc didn't even know what the hell you were thinking.)

You used your sword, otherwise known as your hand to stab his heart.(read: grab his tie.) You pulled it ever so slightly closer to you. Ignoring how 

You huff, leaning over the counter to grab him by his tie. He jolted at the sudden action, his torso angled over the bar, his hands moved closer to his waist, holding onto the edge of the wooden panel to steady himself.

Your fingers make their way closer to his neck, never straying from the fabric of his tie. He swallowed thickly as he watched you concentrate on fixing it.

As much as he doubts there was nothing wrong with the way he tied it, he.. appreciates the way you look up at him, just for a split second.

“Of course I haven't.” You said.

Diluc saw your lips move before he could hear you. He snapped out of his daze, the proximity between the two of you reduced to the length of a ring finger.

 “I haven’t taken a picture of you.”

Diluc pulled away, noticing how you already clipped the pin onto his tie. 

You bit the inside of your cheek to prevent the chuckles of amusement from slipping out. He had turned away from you, it was a desperate attempt to hide his reddened skin. 

More than ever is he glad you two are the only ones in the tavern.

You see him rub his face, the traces of red starting to dissipate from his neck and ears. You can't help but smile. You can't tell you're smiling because of his reaction, or the fact he's allowing you to see him like this.

“[Name]..” He turns back to you, his lips pursed together.

“Diluc” You responded, taking in his full appearance. 

The gentle slopes of his face, the harsh curves of his jaw and nose. They all worked together in a polyphony to create the the person you admire so dearly.

“Ah, that reminds me. Unfortunately I have a business trip to attend in a fortnight.” You broke the silence of the room.

He lowered his head to meet your gaze. 

“Should I bring anything back for you? A gift.. a recipe.. I'm sure I could learn to cook something for you.” You offered. Diluc's face paled.

The thought of you cooking something for him used to be a pleasant fantasy. But seeing it in practice turned any thought of you stepping into the kitchen into a nightmare.

You might as well have had a pyro vision the way the stove went up in flames. 

“I… appreciate the sentiment.” He grimaced. “If anything, I wish you to return to me safely.”

You smiled back at him, bemusement tracing the corners of your mouth.

“Of course. I'll make sure to have a good time as well!” 

He hummed. “Don't slack off.” 

“I won't I swear–!” You exclaim, jabbing your finger in his face.

You both continue to talk, in a way only the two of you know of each other. Barriers and walls broken to build a bridge between the two of you. 

These words are a well kept secret between the two of you, at least for now.

You leave the tavern when more people begin to filter in as the sun sets.

Time truly didn't stop for anyone. It wasn't long before Diluc had to bid you goodbyes. Time failed to capture the moments he spent with you leading up to that. 

A month had already passed since you left, his favorite place to be during that time was at the dawn winery. Letters you wrote came to him every other day. 

You were safe, and it sounded like you were enjoying the time you spent in fontaine. He no longer had to relive the first week of sleepless nights worrying about your well being.

He was in the dawn winery again, a newer letter in his hands. Diluc traced the wax seal, one he specially commissioned for you. 

He began to peel it off, a twinge of eagerness coated his fingers in a newfound fervor. 

Just before he could read your letter, he heard a familiar high pitched voice.

“Master Diluc would totally help us!”

Was that..?

“The traveler maybe, but you and I are on the same level!”

He looked up to see the traveler and their floating companion, along with venti matching their pace.

From the corner of the doorway he could just barely make out Adelinde's sheepish expression.

 “Traveller, it's good to see you here.” Diluc greeted, resisting the urge to sigh at the interruption.

He subtly slipped the envelope on the dining table behind him.

“Hey! How come Paimon doesn't get a hello?” She huffed, her hands balled into fists at her sides.

“Hello Paimon. Venti.”

“Told you.” Venti shook his head, ignoring Paimon's pointed glare.

Traveler quickly spoke up before Paimon could get provoked, “We have something to give you.” They handed an envelope to Diluc. 

He quirked a brow as he looked it over, undoubtedly from you.

Diluc hasn't been keeping tabs on The Traveler's journey, but something must have led them into Fontaine.. 

He let himself open it— the wax lifted under the nail of his finger.

Eagerness. Anticipation. You're right by his side– he swears. You play with his senses to a degree he cannot fathom. As he stares at the photocard of a few scones, he imagines he's sat across from you.

He could practically hear your indecisive ramblings about what to get. ‘The beignets sound tasty– oh but what about the blueberry scones? I'm not feeling for blueberries though..”

“Can't believe the traveler's been demoted from honorary knight to delivery service!”

For a second you coat him in a warmth– so entirely reminiscent of you. Diluc grieves the nights devoid of you.

“It's a noble job Paimon, I'm pretty sure you've made Diluc's week!”

Even before he saw your name signed at the back, he knew it was from you. He covered his mouth. He could recognize you in fields towered higher than his gaze. It's yours. You. You. You. You. 

“Eeh? Whaddya–?”

Diluc looks up (unfortunately,) to see the black, amber, and green eyes looking back at him.

.

.

.

“Diluc must really like Mx. [Name]’s letter.”

The traveler breaks the silence.

“Now I'm curious, what could they have written to awoke such a reaction out of him, any theories?” Venti playfully questioned.

“Maybe it's a love letter!” The pixie answered with too much giddiness. 

“It's definitely blackmail.” The blond smirked. (Furrowed brows? Check! Gotta be something incriminating.)

“It's neither.” Diluc deadpanned. “Don't make such uninformed guesses.”

“Uninformed? But Mx. [Name] said they'd sent a buncha letters! But they haven't gotten a response.” Paimon insisted, the unspoken words of ‘Diluc would totally ignore someone's constant love letters if he had the choice.’ underlined her speech. 

“The trip from Mondtsadt to Fontaine is a long one, I only started to receive their letters two weeks ago.” Diluc shook his head, (a poor attempt to quell the fairy's theorizing.)

“We could always pass on a message?” The traveler offered.

“I wouldn't mind!” Venti chirped.. for some reason?

Paimon grumbled, “you're not included in this Tone-Deaf Bard!”

“ Eh? I was planning on visiting Fontaine soon anyways.” Venti replied, pouting only to further provoke the floating child.

Diluc quickly cleared his throat, (just in time to prevent the childish duo from bickering with each other.)

“If the traveller is offering, I do have something I want to give to [Name].” 

Venti squinted, but didn't say anything. 

“Of course,” The traveler agreed.

Diluc quickly drafted a note, not taking long to compile his thoughts into words meant for you.

The group continued to talk amongst themselves, bidding Diluc their goodbyes after he handed them the note enclosed in an envelope. 

He saw them off to the door, leaving them with one final parting message, to not open it.

He saw them walk off into the distance. Diluc sighed as they left– relief admittedly washed over him. 

But it was short lived.

The recognizable high pitched wails of the ivory haired tag-a-long was enough to confirm he'd have a lot to talk to you about as soon as you returned. 

It must've been a millenia till you did,

 The breeze of Mondstadt made each step you took feel lighter. You could smell the scent wafting from good hunter's the moment you passed the gate.

You barely noticed the few pointed looks in your direction. One coming from a hard to remember face. (who was wondering who she was supposed to be jealous of.)

You ignored it, only wanting to do one thing. You practically floated into the tavern where you asked a certain someone to meet you when you came back.

You walked into the tavern, the brazen hours of daylight left behind you.

“Nice to meet you again, Diluc.”

His eyes snapped to your person, widening at the sight despite your predicted arrival. He got out of the area behind the bar to take you into a warm embrace.

No matter your stature, getting hugged by Diluc feels like a blanket covering you, protecting you from the outside world. He takes over your senses, the warmth of being home. 

“I suppose you miss me?” You muttered after he pulled away. He was close enough to hear even the slightest change in your breathing.

“More than I could ever admit.” He breathed out, more than glad to have you back.

“Did anything exciting happen while I was gone?” 

He sucked in his teeth with a slight furrow of his brows. “I wish it was more mundane actually.”

“Huh. Tell me more?” 

You both made your way to one of the multiples of empty tables. You both spoke in hushed whispers despite there not being a single person to overheat. 

“I'm sorry, dear.” Diluc apologized, his head resting in his hand, his fingers covering a bit of his eye. Red bangs would have fallen on top of his calloused digits if not for the familiar hairclip pinning them back.

 “Don't be sorry, it wasn't your fault at all.” You let your fingers rest on the side of his face, tilting his head to look into your eyes.

He had told you about the incident, how Paimon's curiosity led to the whole of Mondstadt knowing the most eligible bachelor wasn't a bachelor at all.

It didn't help that the first line was ‘To my dearly beloved,’ unmistakably written by him.

It wasn't long before the ‘secret’ spread along Mondstadt's greatest gossipers, Diluc was out of stock.

“I understand you didn't want this kind of publicity, but I'm okay with it.” You insisted.

He looked at you, his eyes weary with exhaust. Whether it was because he was worried over your reaction or the scandal seeping his energy, you didn't know.

 “[Name], you don't need to pretend it's fine, we agreed this would be a secret.” Diluc grumbled.

You remember that vow, the publicity of dating one of Mondstadt's most notable figures would have been incredibly pressuring. 

You didn't know if you were ready for that.

 “It was something I expected if I'm being honest. I'm well prepared, love.” After all, if you were to progress your relationship to the next level, it would be an even bigger shock if Diluc was secretly married.

Maybe this was for the best..?

You put your hand onto the table, your palm facing up as he moved his hand to meet yours, keeping his grip on your palm secure.

“No matter what happens, we'll do it together, okay?” You vowed.

Diluc looked at you warmly. Even without a pyro vision, you don't think he'd ever be cold to you.

A beat of silence passed, and he rubbed the back of your palm with his thumb. His glove rubbed against the peak of your knuckles.

“You look tired,” He whispered listlessly. 

You bantered, “I could say the same for you.”

You both stood up, Diluc kept his hand locked in yours. “Let's go home.” 

And you couldn't want anything more.

I HAVE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR TOO LONG IM SO GLAD ITS OUT OF MY DRAFTS

[xx-akubara-xx]

Ford: I did the research. From what I've found - the friend you're sponging off-

Bill: Oh 'friend' you say - how Victorian of you.

A drabble of a major flash forward on the Bill!Steve AU, I've been posting.

[Context: Post Weirdmegedon - Bill and Steve reconnect through the Theraprism's visitors program. And eventually, Bill is allowed to stay with Steve on 'house arrest.' It goes surprisingly well. Through a series of unlikely shenanigans, Ford learns about this new 'living' arrangement and makes a point of visiting Steve's Carpets & DVD Rental Shop to ensure Bill isn't plotting anything. And Bill isn't. Even if he wanted to be - he's effectively powerless and isn't a risk to anyone.]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bill: Sixer, listen... I get there's a tooooon of baggage you need to work through before your ticker expires - but let's keep these little talks about us- hm?

Ford: You can't expect me to not bring it up.

Bill: Sure I can.

Ford: Bill.

Bill: That's my name!

Ford: Bill. You told me that you were the last of your kind.

Bill: ...I may have exaggerated slightly.

Ford: ...

Bill: Only slightly. Quit giving me that look - it's not like you were owed that information.

Ford: And now - The two of you are...

Bill: Regretting the breakup already, Fordsy? That's not a good look for you - not that I can blame you.

Ford: You know damn well that's not the direction I'm taking this conversation.

Ford: I did the research. From what I've found - the friend you're sponging off-

Bill: Oh 'friend' you say - how Victorian of you.

Ford: ...It's clearly a sham.

Ford: I know you're just- once again- using someone's better nature against them. And how no one is seeing through your act is beyond-

Bill: It's not an act.

Ford: I don't believe you.

Bill: And you have the right to your feelings~ But I don't need to prove anything to you.

Bill: My relationship with Steve - has nothing to do with you.

Ford: ...

Ford: Really?

Bill: Oh my god, you're about to make it about you, aren't you?

Ford: Isn't?!

Ford: At the bare minimum - you're at least trying to pull the oldest trick in the book!

Ford: And I'm telling you, Bill - it won't work! Honestly - it's just pathetic.

Bill: ...and... what's not working exactly...?

Ford: Making me jealous!

Bill: HA!

Bill: Hooo- Wow. Way to lose one of your nicknames, Sixer. That's NOT what's happening.

Bill: You need to stop watching those trashy movies you humans seem to love so much.

Ford: ...

Ford: You seriously mean to tell me.

Ford: After all of that. The chaos. The death and destruction. You dying. You're suddenly content working in a carpet store.

Bill: Plus movie rentals!

Ford: ...With a guy named Steve.

Bill: Twist of the century, am I right? What can I say? He makes me laugh.

Ford: ...I just don't buy it.

Bill: Fordsy, listen. That ego on you? It's great, one of your best qualities. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

Bill: But let it go.

[llamagirl28]

Can we get some Gareth fluff facts? I love him so much. Best brother.

Incoming! General facts

He's fond of animals in general, but especially of dogs

As of chapter 5, he has a pet dog, Max. She's a big, fluffy sheepdog who loves following him. She's got him to go out more to play together, and she loves to curl up next to him when he reads. He's taught her tricks.

I think this is something everyone knows after reading the demo, but he reads a lot, be it fiction or non-fiction. He enjoys dabbling in all sorts of topics. He likes a good adventure book, an introspective character study, a gripping mystery, etc. When it comes to non-fiction, obviously a lot of history and politics related stuff. One of the subjects he loves reading about is the Le Fay's history. He soaks up information like a sponge.

He's respectul of the Lady of the Lake and appreciates all the good her healers do, but he's not particularly devout himself. He does pray out of respect when he visits the Temple.

He enjoys a warm cup of tea and some pastries while reading, though if he's too engrossed by his lecture he'll completely forget about them.

He has friends at Court but he's not particularly close to anyone; it just feels a bit strange, given how people regard his Le Fay family members with caution, fear or outright animosity.

Diligent and passionate about his studies. Will ask for/seek out more study material on his own. His tutors love him.

Loves having discussions and debates on books. Analyzing themes and characters etc and also just generally gushing over books he loved, or taking apart the ones he didn't like.

[libraryofolive]

candy please!

featuring: Modern AU!Husband!Suguru Geto x fem!reader

genre: fluff, drabble

word count: 1.2k

synopsis: You and your husband decided to take your twin daughters trick or treating for the first time.

part two of spooky section, my 2024 Halloween event!

Nanako and Mimiko coming into yours and Suguru’s life truly was a blessing. The two young girls had fitted into your lives so seamlessly that sometimes you couldn’t even remember what life was like without them. So, when it came to their first Halloween with the two of you, you knew you had to make it special.

The idea for your family costume came quickly and easily, straight from the girls’ current favourite TV show. Suguru had taken some convincing - “but they’re dogs,” he had protested - but one pleading look from you and his daughters had any other objections dying in his throat.

The lead up to final day of October had been full of many other Halloween traditions: you had carved pumpkins (only slightly destroying your kitchen whilst doing so), taught the twins how to bob for Apples, and even taken the girls to a corn maze. But what everyone in your household seemed most excited for was the promise of free sweets in the form of trick-or-treating.

You and Suguru were stood in front of the girls, who were sat on your kitchen island, various different colours of face paint and cheap make up strewn all over it. The two of you had yet to do your own make up, deciding it would be easier to quickly do it yourselves whilst your little rascals got themselves into their outfits. Said rascals were giddy with glee, large close-lipped grins taking up most of their face as you painted Mimiko orange and Nanako was being painted blue by your husband.

“How much candy do you think you girls will be getting tonight?” You asked the two as you gathered more orange onto your sponge.

“Millions!” Nanako squealed in reply.

“Millions? You’ll still be eating it when you’re on old granny!” You joked.

“Yeah, you’ll still be eating it when you look like Uncle Satoru.” Suguru joined.

“Is Uncle Toru really an old granny?” Mimiko asked quietly.

“Mhmm - Nana, I need you to stay really still for this bit - yeah Mimi, Satoru is really old.” You looked over at Suguru to see his tongue peeking out of his lips slightly as he coloured in the tip of Nanako’s nose with a black pencil.

“How old is he?” The currently half-orange Mimiko asked.

“96.” You responded, a sly smile gracing your lips. You would be visiting your husband’s best friend later, and couldn’t wait to see what this conversation brought.

“Wow, that is old.”

“Oh yeah, you should ask him what life was like before cars.”

“He’s older than cars?” a gob-smacked Nanako gasped.

“Oh yeah.” Suguru agreed, “he’s like, super ancient.” There was a pause, “Right, you’re all done Nana, go get your costume on. Be careful of your make-up though!” He lifted the girl off the counter, and as soon as her feet were on the ground she was sprinting off to the costume neatly hung up in her room. Mimiko was soon following her, scurrying off to complete the transformation into her favourite cartoon animal.

You and your husband sat down at the counter, picking up hand mirrors and sponges to start your own make-up for the evening.

“I still can’t believe you talked me into this.” The man next to you sighed as he rubbed blue paint into his cheeks.

“As I recall, there was no talking needed. All we had to do was unleash the puppy-dog eyes.”

“Fitting, really.” You hummed, focusing more of your energy on perfecting the brown spot over one of your eyes. “You’ve really put a lot of effort into this.”

You sighed, “I mean, I just want them to have fun. And you know I’ve always loved Halloween.”

“The amount of costume parties you’ve dragged me to since before we were together speaks volumes in that regard.”

“Exactly. I just want them to love it as much as I always have.”

“Have you seen how excited they are for this? Honey, you go so above and beyond for our girls. They love you so much. And your enthusiasm has always been infectious.”

“What do you mean?”

“Babe, Halloween was always neither here nor there for me before we met. It was mostly just Satoru using it as an excuse to eat bucket-fulls of sweets and get himself shit-scared at some crappy horror movie. Then I met you, and all of a sudden I couldn’t imagine not dressing up, or going to a party, or even carving a pumpkin.”

“Don’t you dare make me cry my make-up off.” You threatened at his heartfelt words.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He stood up, officially finished with his make-up. “I’ll go see how the girls are doing.” He kissed the top of your head as he made his way out of the kitchen.

“And get your costume on! I want photos together before we head out!”

You pulled up to Gojo’s house, his being the test-run for the girls’ trick-or-treating. You had decided to trick-or-treat around his outrageously wealthy neighbourhood, and he had even offered for you all to stay at his home afterwards (although you and Suguru theorised it was an excuse to convince your daughters to share their stash of candy with him). You got the girls out of their booster seats and walked them to the front door, explaining what they should do.

“You shout ‘trick or treat!’, okay?” The girls looked at each other and nodded, before yelling it at the top of their lungs.

“No, sweethearts, you do it after he open the door, okay? How else will he know its you?” Suguru said through chuckles. He knocked on his best friend’s house, the door swinging open rapidly.

“Candy please!” The girls exclaimed, holding out their little pumpkin baskets to Gojo. You shook your head, half sighing-half laughing, whilst Suguru let out a roar of laughter. Nanako wandered straight past Gojo, as if to go and make herself at home, Mimiko trying to drag you with her as she followed her sister.

“You’re the family from Bluey!” Gojo said excitedly, looking at all of your costumes.

“No, Nana, Mimi you can’t just go into random stranger houses-” You rushed after your daughters, ignoring the white haired man completely.

“But he’s not a stranger, he’s Uncle Toru!” Nanako yelled from the sofa, where she had made herself comfortable.

“Yeah, but we’re going to lots of people’s houses tonight, and you can’t just walk in, okay?”

“Maybe we should try that again…” Suguru suggested from the doorstep, where he was still stood with his best friend.

“Good idea. Okay, girls, come with me.” They took your hands as you led them back outside, Gojo closing the door after you.

“Remember, you say trick or treat when he opens the door, okay?” Suguru said as he knocked on the door.

“Okay!” The two kids chorused. The door swung open once again to reveal Satoru Gojo.

“Is it true you’re older than cars?”

Like this? You can find my smaus here and my drabbles and other fiics here!

Do you have a request? You can find my rules for requesting here!

[tiredsmashbros]

early birthday gift for the annoying ass stupid ass ring light person qwah pUH

warning ; slightly suggestive 💥

@hexsie @knightedmares @neo91502 @its-a-me-mango

so i had a plan to animate this ish for this stupid silly as a joke due to we share the interest of this green penguin youtuber, isaacwhy, in the summer. to then find out in my storyboarding class my new assignment was just animating/storyboarding a short sound clip... so what better opportunity to do it than now and it time for this silly ass 18th birthday :3c

i realized i forgot a few things, made some mini mistakes at the end but thats okay we ball

okay now for a bday message get out if ur not the ring light bitch /hj

from the moment i first met you... i wanted you to DIE TO GET OUT OF MY LIFE TO OBLITERATE INTO PIECES TO LOSE EVERY ROUND OF PRESSURE TO GO TO BED WITH WARM PILLOWS AND STUMB YOUR PINKY YOU GET A DEAD SCREEN TO POP UP AS YOU FALL INTO THE GROUND DECAYING AWAY AND - cOUGH ough sorry about that ahem the demons came out anywho- DIE- ahem...

nova i know i've given you my heartfelt personal message during my birthday time, so i wanted to give one too- even if most of it you may already know or i already said iuhkjfewds

the past... half a yEAR??? good gracious too long /JOKE has been a very silly and stressing ride gOD /lh. you've definitely changed my life and even influenced me as a person for the better. your silly high-pitch tone, the playful bullying, and even the obsession of your hex3 has just been enjoyable to experience and even participate the past few months. even just recently you getting me into your markipler in space fixation was definitely something i wasn't expecting and im still thINKING ABOUT IT HELLO???? IM TRYING TO BRAINSTORM A DAY TO WATCH IT AND AT THIS POINT WE MIGHT AS WELL DO IT ON THE PARTY OR MONDAY NEXT WEEK AT NIGHT YUIHKJFEDWSUGJH.

even with the characters in my brain i've told you about earlier of this year, hexsy is still checkin in as con {ander's oc} still does and she's been so nicey the following months even if not often i see her, but just like u irl reminds me of ur STUPID HETERO FIC ISTFG- it was genuinely so good holy shit. me and my plane trips istfg its always either me watching the new smg4 episode or reading a fanfic last time it was brain's, an this time is you and josie's IOHKJBFEDSH i love all the silly words in silly plot lines with silly characters so exciting and creative gUH. anyways... u'll get ur silly paragraphs today too teehee :3

but seriously you do bring a lot of good joy and happiness with the people around you, even if your sillyness can be a teeny bit scawey to endure, its also intoxicating and a disease it's personally affected how i even act but in the most positive way possible its raised my silly bar, but also genuinely made me so much more confident?? you've helped me learn to be myself and to be afraid to be silly, EVEN if the chance of embarrassment comes by, its not a terrifying if i have done it when i was my shy anxiety angsty teen ihugjrhefds. i adore and appreciate your company even in moments you scare me and bully me into not reading or looking at your stuff LEAVE ME ALONE YOU FREAK!!!! IMPATIENT!!!! /J /SILLY /LH i still hope your doing good at your school and preparing for your college adventures. i'll still be here to support and help you throughout so dont u dare think u're going thru this alone i gotchu- unless i die or smth but we boutta find out /j uigHJFDS

totally normal and not suspicious at all give me rizz tips pls knight is gatekeeping me all he ever talks about is spongebob did u form into a yellow sponge or smth is that the trick OHHH YEAHH GET IT BC TRICK IS HIS OC NAME AND im so funny please laugh and give me tips COUGHS- /HJ

lastly... if you think i don't have a lil silly idea thingy to share on ur bday, ur horribly mistaken. i dont know either to show it oN the day of ur birth or the birthday party, but we're gonna find out iughjvfredws just remind me till then since i know you will :))) its somewhat cool i think please think its cool its ugly yes but i'll improvise maybe trust

okay the moment your reading and watching this im in my night class sooooo may see ur messages or wait for another hr YES WAIT YOU FREAK until im done with class so we can yap jajajaj 💥

anyways have sum gift art bc i know u will cry if u dont get smth 💥

and yuri too LMAO