#Resource Recovery

[beatsforbrothels]

Theravada & Zoomo - Resource Recovery

[idea-explorer]

[bigvolcano]

Let’s unite to clean up the Tweed!

Clean Up Australia Day will take place on Sunday 3 March and registrations for this year’s clean up events are now open. Residents, schools and community groups are encouraged to sign up for Clean Up Australia Day this year and do their bit...

Get involved in your neighbourhood this Clean Up Australia Day Some of our youngest residents take part in Clean Up Australia Day across the Tweed. This trio helped clean up around Pottsville in 2023. Residents, schools and community groups are encouraged to sign up for Clean Up Australia Day this year and do their bit to help clean up the Tweed! Clean Up Australia Day will take place on…

[market-insider]

Water and Wastewater Treatment Equipment Market, Analyzing Market Forces, Technological Advancements, and Environmental Impacts

The global water and wastewater treatment equipment market size is anticipated to reach USD 90.0 billion by 2030, registering a CAGR of 4.6% over the forecast period, according to a new report by Grand View Research, Inc. The market is driven by increasing demand for clean and safe water in both developed and emerging economies. This is due to growing concerns over water pollution and scarcity, and the need for effective wastewater management.

Water And Wastewater Treatment Equipment Market Report Highlights

Asia Pacific accounted for the largest revenue share of the global market in 2023, accounting for 35.1%, and is expected to maintain its dominance throughout the forecast period. This can be attributed to the presence of a strong consumer base that has led to significant demand for water and wastewater treatment equipment

By application, the municipal segment dominated the market with a revenue share of 66.0% in 2023. The increasing initiatives undertaken by governments, strict environmental regulations, and increasing awareness regarding water treatment are some of the factors contributing to the growth of the municipal segment over the forecast period

By process, the tertiary treatment segment dominated the market with a revenue share of 44.2% in 2023. Some of the drivers for the increasing demand for tertiary wastewater treatment are environmental protection, water scarcity, and the increasing demand for clean water. As these issues continue to be major concerns across the world, the demand for tertiary wastewater treatment is expected to grow over the forecast period

Major key players frequently engage in mergers & acquisitions and new product launches to maintain their market shares. For instance, in March 2022, Pentair plc, announced the definitive agreement to acquire Manitowoc Ice. The move was taken by the company to enhance its commercial water solutions platform and cater to the demand from the food service industry

For More Details or Sample Copy please visit link @: Water And Wastewater Treatment Equipment Market Report

Furthermore, the demand for decentralized wastewater treatment systems is expected to increase over the projected period, as these systems offer several advantages such as low operating costs, high treatment efficiency, and easy maintenance. Several companies are focusing on developing innovative decentralized wastewater treatment systems that can be easily installed in residential and commercial buildings.

Population growth, urbanization, increasing industrialization, and the need for clean water for various purposes such as drinking, agriculture, and industrial processes all drive demand for water and wastewater treatment equipment. Government regulations aimed at protecting the environment and ensuring public health also have an impact on the demand for water and wastewater treatment equipment.

The market players are constantly undertaking strategic initiatives such as mergers, acquisitions, partnerships, and new product launches to gain a competitive advantage. For instance, Ceco Environmental, a provider of air pollution control solutions, announced the acquisition of Compass Water Solutions, a provider of water and wastewater treatment equipment. The acquisition will enable Ceco Environmental to integrate Compass Water Solutions’ critical engineered solutions with its industrial water capabilities.

WaterAndWastewaterTreatmentEquipmentMarket #WaterAndWastewaterTreatmentEquipment #WaterTreatment #WastewaterManagement #EnvironmentalEngineering #SustainableTechnology #CleanWaterSolutions #IndustrialWaterTreatment #WaterPurification #GreenInfrastructure #InnovationInWaterManagement #WaterQualityControl #WastewaterRecycling #MarketTrends #EnvironmentalCompliance #SmartWaterTechnologies #RegulatoryFrameworks #EcoFriendlySolutions #EmergingTechnologies #ResourceRecovery

[self-care-club]

“I cant. I’m not smart enough. I’ll never reach my goals. I’m useless. I don’t deserve to succeed.”

Outta here with that nonsense! ACCEPT that you can change your story.

[yet-another-heathen]

On the topic of realistic conditioning/deconditioning,

If the trigger is something whumpee wouldn't hear often when they're with caretaker but whumpee still wants to break it because they might hear it elsewhere (like kneel being taken as a command)

Would whumpee ask caretaker to casually trigger them so they have the opportunity to challenge it in their own head and in a safe place? Would this be a good idea for recovery?

And of course being there with the praise everytime whumpee makes just a little bit of progress, or comfort when they don't.

Heads up, anon: your ask was an EXCEPTIONALLY good one, and I ended up writing another mini TED talk (~3-4 min read) in response. Thank you so much for sending it in!

...on Conditioned Whumpees - Part 3

[ Part 1 - Part 2 ]

That is a very, very good idea! You're spot on with all of it, particularly operating in a safe environment where whumpee is ultimately calling the shots. Having that comfort/support readily available will make a huge difference in how well whumpee can tackle the matter. And while the process isn't fun, approaching desensitization with this much intent is much, much more likely to result in success.

I can offer a few pointers that can add another few layers of realism, as well as some other things to think about while tailoring it to your story:

if whumpee is actively working through their conditioning in this way, memories of their trauma will become closer to the surface. As a result, all of their other PTSD symptoms will be elevated during the course of their practice sessions, as well as for at least a few weeks after.

flashbacks are a very common experience during times like this. engaging with triggers like this is going to cause their flashbacks to become more frequent and intense.

during such flashbacks, it is almost a given that whumpee's mind and body will enter a similar state to the one it was in during the time when the flashback was taking place. By that I mean that the fear they felt in that moment, where it was physically located in their body, will echo into their body in the present moment. Same goes for other all other emotions, and sometimes even phantom aches surrounding any injuries they received at the time...

while the emotions tend to be identical to the ones felt during the trauma, in my experience, the pain comes out distorted in a similar way to the way it does in dreams: less intense, and more "blurry" and imprecise in location. When we say that someone having a flashback is "reliving the moment", we mean that their body literally feels as though they're in the same immediate danger that it was in back then.

this is true even though they'll be aware to at least some degree that they're presently with caretaker and safe.

the flashbacks don't always happen immediately after the conditioning trigger is used. Often they flare up hours or days later, sometimes without warning, sometimes as a result of encountering a different flashback trigger. The whumpee's thresholds for what counts as a trigger will drop, which is part of what causes the flashbacks to happen more often. Something they could normally ignore is going to affect them much more while they're like this.

your whumpee is more likely to experience severe mood swings while in this heightened state. Especially feelings like irritability, frustration, anger, loneliness, and grief. This stuff ain't pretty, folks. Even your sweet cinnamon bun is most likely going to lash out at someone as a result.

PTSD episodes are also exhausting. your whumpee is going to feel mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. And, to add insult to injury, being tired amplifies the emotions listed above.

Now all of this said, your whumpee may or may not know that this is to be expected. If they've worked on processing their trauma before this, they'll have figured out that one often leads to the other. They'll go into the deconditioning practice knowing this is coming, and will approach it carefully, but with a fairly level head. Knowing that it'll suck, but they'll come out the other side okay.

If not, they're in for a rather nasty surprise.

For the latter, they will feel at first that the deconditioning practice is making everything worse. They're suddenly struggling the way they did when the trauma was fresher, and it can be tempting to stop and refuse to touch it again because the mental/emotional pain gets so intense.

If they do give up at this stage, it will make trying again far more daunting in the future.

But the trauma being stirred up is actually a sign that it's helping. It means that the whumpee is starting to process what happened to them, which is a fundamental step in being able to heal.

Note: All throughout the process, crying is a very good thing. It lets them physically get rid of a lot of the brain chemicals associated with these surges of emotion. Letting themselves cry over things they couldn't cry about back then can actually help them let go of those feelings in a similar way to if they'd been able to process them in the moment. [Which is the basis for much of EMDR, a specialized tool used in trauma therapy.]

Okay. So now we know what other effects can cascade from the actual deconditioning practice, now we have some things to consider.

First off, what time parameters are whumpee and caretaker working within while deconditioning? There are three basic options:

they sit down together and practice repeatedly using the trigger for [X amount of time; usually <45m at once] back to back. Once that time is up, caretaker will no longer use the trigger at all, the excercise will end, and they'll get up to do something else.

whumpee sets a specific window of time [X number of hours] within which caretaker will use the trigger word at random points. Once that time has elapsed, the exercise is over.

over the course of days, caretaker uses the trigger word at random points without giving warning. the excercise only stops after being ended by whumpee.

Now why is that important? Because of something called hypervigilance. It is another symptom of PTSD which, to put it into the simplest words, is whumpee waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's a heightened state of tension and wariness in which whumpee is expecting that something bad is going to happen, and is constantly searching for any sign to indicate when it's coming.

It is beyond exhausting.

Imagine knowing that someone is about to slap you as hard as they can, and you have to sit there with your eyes closed, waiting for it. The breath-holding, the flinchiness, the rigid tension in your body as you strain to listen for when they're coming.

Only now, stretch that moment out into hours. Days. Weeks. That is hypervigilance.

A hypervigilant whumpee is not going to be able to relax. Or rest. Or decompress. Or readily trust much of anything around them. They're MUCH more likely to flinch at sudden movements/sounds. They might start biting their nails or showing other signs of nervousness and distress.

These methods above have a gradually increasing chance of setting off whumpee's hypervigilance. If they know exactly when the next trigger is coming, as in example 1, then their 'waiting for it' tension will be low. But the more uncertain they become of exactly when it's going to happen, as in examples 2 & 3, the worse the hypervigilance is going to get.

The trade off is that the later examples are more effective in desensitizing them toward the trigger. The more their practice mimics encountering an unexpected trigger in day-to-day life, the easier it will be to fall back on that desensitization when the time comes.

Therefore, it would be a very good idea for a whumpee who's new to this to start with number 1, then gradually progress to 2 & 3 as time goes on. They should be the one to decide when the next step is made, and if/when they need to dial it back.

Other questions to ask yourself while plotting:

how mentally prepared is whumpee for worsening symptoms? what about caretaker? did either of them know it was coming?

how much of this heightened PTSD stress can your whumpee take before it becomes too much? how do they react when they do hit that tipping point?

if caretaker feels that whumpee is getting too distressed during practice even though they're not tapping out, would they call it off themself? Or would they ultimately leave that decision to whumpee?

based on the answer, how would whumpee feel about caretaker's decision? Relieved? Belittled? Betrayed?

does whumpee have any grounding tools they can use while practicing?

how does caretaker handle the mood swings and instability that come with whumpee's heightened PTSD? You should consider both their internal and external reactions on the matter.

how does whumpee prefer to decompress after a practice session? what things would help them calm down and recover?

how long do they need (hours or days) before the next attempt?

Even with all I've just written, there's far more to the resulting hightened state of PTSD than flashbacks and hypervigilance. PTSD symptoms that they're most likely to encounter in the background while doing deconditioning practice include:

Flinchiness, anxiety, panic attacks, nightmares, exhaustion, emotional mood swings, outbursts, crying spells, depression, executive dysfunction, dissociation, numbness, racing thoughts, freeze responses, tremors, inappetence, muscle tension, and heart palpitations.

Yes, usually many of them at once, even those that contradict. Your whumpee is going to have a LOT going on at once, and it is not going to be a fun time. I recommend looking up any of the above symptoms you don't recognize, and looking for whump inspiration in what you learn.

(Because everyone experiences PTSD episodes differently, there's a lot of wiggle room in which ones whumpee will encounter. Don't feel pressured to use all of them, find what you want to write and have fun with it!)

Thanks again for the incredible ask, anon. And again, I want to congratulate you on how spot-on your original ask was. You nailed it. I know this was a lot more than you asked for, but I hope this provides helpful context for your whump! My inbox will always be open if you think of anything more <3

[littlest-bugz]

The Collective You

[one system's brief advice about accepting the idea of the collective you]

One of the best pieces of system advice started from a tumblr post and was elaborated by my DID specialist. I can't find the original tumblr post that started it, so I'm making a little post of my own <3 Share the knowledge. and also hope that someone can link the original post lol.

When I was REALLY going through it™ with my first diagnosis w/ DID, and a lack of integration, all of my alters felt like separate individuals, some of us feeling as distanced as a coworker or a stranger altogether. We were just getting a grasp on internal communication between all of our subsystems, and it was rough. We felt so entirely differentiated that we were our own people trapped in one body. While I don't really care about what language you use, all alters in CDDs are a part of one person [there's only one body and brain]- the collective you.

So obvs, I'm scrolling tumblr like the chronically online doomscroller that I am, and I see this post that goes along the line of not knowing who you are, but knowing you are 'you', regardless of who you are [referring to alters]. And it said something like "we're all me enough to pick up our meds"- something like that. iirc it was a half light hearted, half advice post, but that was really good advice for me. I kind of internalized it after I processed it in therapy. It's actually why I have started to love parts language lately tbh.

After further processing this idea in therapy, Identity Confusion stopped mattering in the grand scheme of things. I focused less on worrying about who I was, and just focused on the fact that I'm me. Just like the post I saw- We are all me. The example of all being me enough to pick up my medications just applied, like, everywhere. Even when it came down to the smallest things- with coping with other symptoms too.

Oh? I don't like coffee right now? I guess I should switch to something else. [differentiated alters]

Oh? I have barely any drawing skills right now? Okay, really sucks but I can work on something else and come back to it later. [skill variance between alters]

Oh? I have to go to a doctor's appointment? I know I'll forget that- Gotta write a list, and put it up on the board so I remember. [day to day amnesia]

You know what happened? My dissociation got better! Not immediately or entirely, obviously, and my memory [re amnesia] still sucks, but that's part of the disorder- plus other disorders that I have. This idea of the collective you is something that I think is really beneficial to all CDD systems, especially during the mid to later stages of recovery.

I, admittedly, credit most of my healing to conversations I have had with my DID specialist. Especially since, without her, I wouldn't have been able to process this idea of the collective me further, but the conversation wouldn't have been started if I hadn't seen that post on tumblr. This was a budding concept with us due to the separation we had. It helped with integration. GRANTED... Not every alter got the memo, obviously, but It's something that I'm still working on. Of course, being me comes with the prerequisite that I am a person with DID, and that I am made up of multiple parts.

Now for the piece of advice I got from my therapist- Though it requires a certain level of knowledge of your own system, such as a list of alters and some identifying info [fav drinks, fav colors, those type of things]. Look at the list of your alters wherever it may be. Just whatever you use for logging your system members. Look for the commonalities between alters. There will be at least some commonalities.

For example; A good 45% of us like bunnies, 45% like cats, and 10% have a liking for other kinds of animals. Using this information, I can pretty much deduce that 1. the collective me loves animals and 2. the collective me likes cats and bunnies especially.

Another example; I looked through our simplyplural, which has a favorite color thing [in ours at least]. By looking through the list, I figured out 1. wow I like literally all colors- my fav color is rainbows and 2. I especially like pink and light blue.

More examples; the list.. THE LIST... I looked through it and saw that a good 90% of us like MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS- of varying flavors, but the common denominator was Ultra Strawberry Dreams, but all of us like [or tolerate] water as a preferred drink. From there I can come to the conclusion that I prefer water over anything else and that I have a problem with monster [being light hearted but I genuinely do].

I hope you get the idea I'm going for. I used this process for nearly every aspect of our collective identity, though some had to genuinely be voted on, such as our LGBTQIA+ labels [offline, we just call ourself queer, but that's.. aside the point LMAO].

Obviously, there are going to be outliers- Having DID comes with the fun [/s] aspect of alters being differentiated from each other in some capacity. Example for the monster energy one- We have a handful of alters that HATE energy drinks- even just fizzy drinks in general. There's one guy who will only drink Black Coffee and water- nothing else. He's the guy who is always hiding away our monsters in the way back of the fridge, but guess what!! He's me!! The part of me that doesn't want me to ruin my health over energy drinks. The part of me that knows I deserve better than my unhealthy habits.

Getting to know the collective you is just like learning about your system! It is not inherently different than figuring out what an alters dislikes or likes are. The idea of The Collective You shouldn't feel scary or anxiety inducing- if it is, you may want to confront those feelings with a therapist if you have access to one. Every CDD system is the collective [or, well, system] of one fragmented individual- That is a studied and objective fact. I wanted to give advice from one recovering system to another.

No, this will not work for everyone, every system is different, but I'm hoping this post finds the right audience in knowing that it's worth a shot to try this!

[ed-recoverry]

Please check out your local library!!

I volunteered at a library this summer where my main tasks were returning books and organizing. Here’s some common books I saw tons of in the library that you can get for free!

Cooking. So much cooking. All kinds of foods, dietary limitations, and cultural specific.

Crafts (sewing, crocheting, knitting, painting, decorating, pottery, drawing, and cross stitching are what I can remember just off the top of my head. So many)

ESL/learning English

Foreign language learning

Financial advice

So many “___ for idiots”

Destinations / countries

Mental health / disorders (and recovery)

Music (including sheet music)

Classics (the ones you see read in high school)

Test prep (including SAT, ACT, PSAT, ect)

Gardening / how to grow stuff

Pet care

Child care

Illness information / coping

Disability information / coping

Both specific and general historical topics (From just the history of America in general, the history of a certain group of people, to history of certain events, ect.)

Most hobbies.

Religion

How-to’s and guides

Audio books and movies are usually available in the hundreds. Popular books and movies are accessible.

It’s usually disability friendly and most are also offering free games and devices to borrow.

Most also have computers where if you are looking for a certain book, it will tell you where it is in the library or which nearby libraries do have that book.

Fiction books are also abundant and usually the genre is labeled on the spine.

Even if you don’t want to take a book out, you can sit there all day and just read a book. It’s a good, quiet place for those stuck in a chaotic situation. It usually has AC/heat, bathrooms, and water fountains too. As long as you’re not a snorer, no one really cares if you even take a nap.

Overall, I cannot recommend libraries enough. People really think why go when you have the internet, but it really has everything and an immediate option so you don’t have to search. And, once again, free!

Libraries, especially in more conservative areas, are getting less and less funding and more and more restriction on books with content regarding LGBTQ+, black history/authors, and safe sex. Donate to your local library. Visit. Check out what is there. There literally is no negative!!

[idea-explorer]

https://blognow.co.in/understanding-sewage-treatment-plants-key-functions-and-benefits

[betweenthenotes]

Its gonna be okay just remember that no matter what your trauma is, someone’s made a spotify playlist for it

[creature-wizard]

"I'm in a bad place and need to get out, what can I do?"

I figured I'd make a post with all the resources/tips I've collected to help people get out of shitty situations so far, since it's easier than linking to a bunch of posts each time.

Seek out appropriate resources. This can include support groups (online or offline), helplines, and the like.

If you're in the US, you can call 211 to help you find resources.

Crisis Text Line offers services to the US, Ireland, Canada, and the UK.

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is a US service offers a lot of information for sexual abuse survivors.

The Trevor Lifeline is a service for queer youth in the US.

If you're a minor, you may wish to read How To Escape Abusive Parents: A Guide For Minors.

If you're an adult, you may wish to read How To Escape Abusive Parents: A Guide For Adults.

You might search on Qwant for like something like "resources for people in abuse" or "abuse resources help" or "domestic violence survivors resources".

Ask people for help in finding resources. If you can't find anything on your own, there are other people who know where to direct you. It might take awhile to find what you're looking for, but keep asking.

A WORD OF CAUTION: there are many predatory spiritual groups and conspiracy theorists out there who prey on abuse survivors and mentally ill people. You will often see these people claiming that channeling or hypnosis can help you remember past life memories or repressed traumatic memories. This is nonsense and quackery.

Relevant posts of mine:

Hypnosis is unreliable for memory recovery, and this is one way we know.

False past life memories among the starseed movement

Here’s the trouble with hypnotic regression…

If you're on a website that claims to support cult survivors and you see any of these names in the citations (and make sure you check the citations!), leave immediately - all of these people are far right conspiracy theorists. (Unfortunately, many people today are unwittingly perpetuating the BS of Fritz Springmeier in particular. See this and this for more info on that.)

Change who and what you surround yourself with. Start associating with different people/groups as much as you can. Get hobbies to fill your time. Unfollow blogs that reinforce the beliefs you're trying to get away from, and follow blogs that provide a healthier alternative.

You might follow blogs like:

A Kind Place

Trauma Survivors Helping Trauma Survivors

Compassionate Reminders

Trauma Survivors Activities

Reasons For Hope

Bluest Fluff

If you're trying to rebuild your worldview without conspiratorial/culty elements, go take a look at my Resources page.

Remember that your first job is looking after yourself. You don't owe the group. You aren't responsible for the group, or for anyone in it. It might feel that way, but it's vitally important to acknowledge when you're unqualified or suffering burnout. You might feel like bad things will happen if you leave, but that's a fear, not a fact.

You also don't have to justify your departure to the group. You can just leave. If you feel that you must give a reason, you can offer something as simple as "I need to take some time to focus on my mental health" or "I'm really busy lately and don't have time to spend here." If they throw a fit over this, that's honestly just more proof that you need to get out.

If any practices the group taught you actually helped, you can keep doing them. If doing affirmations helped you, keep doing affirmations. If listening to so-called healing frequencies actually made you feel better, you don't have to stop listening to them. If you were practicing something like the Law of Assumption, you can carry on with a lot of that under a psychological model rather than Neville Goddard's wacky metaphysical model. (See this video for an example.) If it genuinely helps you and doesn't hurt anyone else, by all means, keep doing it.

You might look at my Manifestation Without Woo posts:

Manifestation Without Woo: Changing Your Brain

Manifestation Without Woo: People React To Your Projections, & Your Projections Affect Your Perceptions

Manifestation Without Woo: Setting Reasonable Goals

Manifestation Without Woo: Make It Fun!

Manifestation Without Woo: What If It's Not Working?

Get some critical thinking skills. In order to keep yourself from falling into another bad group, it's important to develop your critical thinking skills.

Learn to apply the Five W's (who, what, when, where, and why) when encountering any information.

Learn common logical fallacies.

Learn the difference between fact, opinion, belief, and prejudice.

Don't equate emotional reactions with some kind of innate or higher moral guidance.

Ask yourself if you're "thinking for yourself" or being led to believe you're thinking for yourself.

Know what emotional manipulation tactics look like.

Watch out for these behaviors in any new group you join.

Yes, there are ways to confirm the age of an old text without having the original text itself.

Learn how propaganda works.

Watch out for these red flags in spiritual groups.

And watch out for this red flag.

Understand that belief doesn't have to be binary.

So yeah, hopefully this'll give folks some actionable advice. I can't promise it's going to help each and every person out there, but hopefully it'll give a lot of you something that will help.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Struggling with self-compassion?

Recommended Reading:

Bluth, K. (2017). The Self-Compassion Workbook for Teens: Mindfulness and Compassion Skills to Overcome Self-Criticism and Embrace Who You Are. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.

Brach, T. (2003) Radical Acceptance: Embracing your life with the heart of a Buddha. New York: Bantam.

Brach, T. (2020). Radical Compassion. NY: Penguin.

Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection. Center City, MN: Hazelden.

Desmond, T. (2015). Self-Compassion in Psychotherapy: Mindfulness-Based Practices for Healing and Transformation. Norton.

Germer, C. K. (2009). The mindful path to self-compassion: Freeing yourself from destructive thoughts and emotions. New York: Guilford Press.

Germer, C. K. & Neff, K. D. (2019). Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion program: A guide for professionals.  New York: Guilford Press.

Gilbert, P. (2009). The compassionate mind. London: Constable.

Hickman, S. (2021).  Self-Compassion for Dummies. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley.

Neff, K. D. & Germer, C. K (2018). The Mindful Self-Compassion workbook: A proven way to accept yourself, find inner strength, and thrive.  New York: Guilford Press.

Neff, K. D. (2021). Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive. New York:  Harper Wave.

Neff, K. D. (2011).  Self-Compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself.  New York:  William Morrow.

Pollak, S. (2019). Self-Compassion for Parents: Nurture your child by caring for yourself. New York: Guildford Press.

Shapiro, S. (2020).  Good Morning I Love You.  Boulder, Sounds True.

Silberstein-Tirch, L. (2019) How to Be Nice to Yourself: The Everyday Guide to Self Compassion. San Antonio, TX: Althea Press

CHILDREN’S BOOKS

Beltzner, E. (2019).  How to tame the tumbles:  The mindful and compassionate way.  Ontario: Mosaic Press.

Garcia, G. (2017). Listening with My Heart: A story of kindness and self-compassion. Gabi Garcia Books.

Marlowe, S. (2016). My new best friend. Summerville, MA: Wisdom Publications.

O’Leary, W.  (2023).  It’s OK: Being kind to yourself when things feel hard.  Bala Kids.

Source

[i-cast-teatus-deletus]

TW for a picture of a pretty gnarly almost-certainly-infected nipple graft.

I came across a handful of similar blog posts about taking care of someone post-surgery, but this one was by far the most informative. Most of them were, no offense, largely complaining about how difficult the day of surgery was for them (and, no offense, often due to their own lack of understanding and preparation for surgery day. That sort of thing is what this neuroticism is all about, making sure I am not stuck in a bad situation based on things I could have avoided had I thought clearly for 7 minutes at SOME point).

This one got me seriously thinking about getting a hotel room close to the surgical site, even though we don't live extremely far away. But the drive they are describing is nearly identical to the drive we would be experiencing and they did not have a great time.

This blog post also links to a resource for JP Drain care, which is always useful.

[subsystems]

I like this diagram a lot!

Because of dissociation and trauma, I've struggled a lot to identify what I'm feeling, both emotionally and physically. Lists like this can be really helpful. I've found lots of lists with emotion words before but not as much when it comes to body sensations. Wanted to share it.

Here's a grounding exercise for anyone reading this: try going through the list and pick out which words fit what you're feeling in this moment.

______________

[Image Description: A free resource from Carolyn Spring. It shows the figure of a person surrounded by a list of words. Here is what it says:

Body Sensation Words

Achy, Airy, Bloated, Blocked, Boiling, Breathless, Bruised, Bubbly, Burning, Bursting, Butterflies, Buzzy, Calm, Clenched, Closed, Cloudy, Cold, Comfortable, Congested, Constricted, Contracted, Cool, Dark, Dehydrated, Disconnected, Dizzy, Drained, Dry-mouthed, Dull, Empty, Energetic, Energised, Exhausted, Expanded, Expansive, Faint, Flexible, Floating, Floaty, Floppy, Fluid, Fluttery, Frozen, Full, Giddy, Grounded, Headachey, Heavy, Hollow, Hot, Hungry, Hurting, Icy, Itchy, Jabbing, Jittery, Jumpy, Knotted, Light, Lightheaded, Limp, Nauseous, Nervy, Numb, Open, Parched, Pounding, Pressure, Prickly, Pulsing, Queasy, Quivering, Radiating, Ravenous, Raw, Relaxed, Released, Rigid, Saggy, Satiated, Satisfied, Sensitive, Shaky, Shivery, Short, Short of breath, Shuddering, Sick, Sore, Spacey, Spacious, Spongy, Squashed, Squirmy, Stabbing, Stinging, Stretchy, Stuffed, Suffocated, Sweaty, Tall, Tout, Tearful, Teary, Tense, Thick-headed, Throbbing, Tickly, Tight, Tingling, Tingly, Tired, Trembly, Twitchy, Uncomfortable, Vibrating, Warm, Wet, Wobbly, Woozy

End ID.]

[littlest-bugz]

Was I supposed to know that???

[a non-definitive list of things I wish I had known in early CDD system discovery]

When you are first discovering your system, or are just finding out you have some form of CDD [complex dissociative disorder], things can be really confusing and scary. Memories and Alters may surface, you might get more dissociative symptoms [or become aware of them], and just a bunch more that adds to a feeling of disorientation with your own life and identity. Things are uncertain and stressful, but I assure you, everything is okay and you will come out on top of things safely!

In the beginning of rediscovering my own system in 2021, I was really lost because I didn't turn to the internet for resources or go to professionals for help. I was almost entirely in the blind when I was getting to know my system! I didn't interact with any other systems or seek out CDD specific advice and care until December of 2023. That's all to say I was in a similar position as you may be. I was quite lost, confused, and scared as I was coming to terms with the fact that I, as an alter, did not have full control over the body and what we did, and that my memory could, and had, fail me. It was just an uncertain time, but now that I'm into recovery, I know that there are things that would've helped me going into system discovery...

If you're an already discovered system [i.e. you already know and have established contact], maybe you will learn something new or maybe you will come out with a new outlook on something! Or it might not help at all! Which is okay because everyone is different!

That being said... Strap in! this post is EXTREMELY long! [this is not an understatement- this post is criminally long]

Notes : Before I jump into the numerous points of this post, I have to preface this post with the fact of this post may be discouraging at times. I'm being so serious, but in my opinion, this post has important points. The only issue is that what I'm saying can come across as negative or fakeclaim-y, but I am not fake claiming anyone in this post! Do not take what I say personally!! I don't know who's reading this! You could be my best friend or a stranger from across the world! So you have to remember to take things with a grain of salt because, as you'll see immediately in the first point you know you better than anyone else does. I do not know you personally, nor do I know your system or situation. Take what resonates with you, and leave the rest, if that makes sense? Just hear me out before you dismiss this post as not worth your time.

Now we can actually get into the post!

-> DO NOT LET SOCIAL MEDIA WARP YOUR PERCEPTION OF CDDS OR YOUR SYSTEM

This is more a warning than the rest of this post because this is THE MOST important part of early system discovery. While I did not personally engage in most social medias during my own system discovery, this is a point I know will be important for others, especially those in early system discovery... But what do I mean by this?

Well, for starters, this is the main reason why a lot of systems struggle with validating themselves and their system. It is not healthy to compare your system to other systems. It is not healthy to look at other systems, not relate, and think that somehow means you're not a 'real system'. While sharing experiences and discussing your system, as well as listening to the experiences of other systems, is beneficial, comparing yourself to other systems will make you feel like shit. This is where a majority of posts dealing with invalidity come from. You let the internet and misinformation to shape how you view systemhood as a whole.

The notion that a large alter count is invalid is from social media.

The notion that a system is 'too complex' is from social media.

The notion that there is such a thing as too many introjects is from social media.

Seriously, I could go on. These do not matter at all, and those are not the only examples I have seen [just the most common]. Having a complex system, being introject heavy, and/or having a large system are all seen in scientific material, so the notion that it somehow makes you invalid is based in comparison and social media misinformation. You need to keep your head on your shoulders when interacting with social media, or you will damage your relationship with systemhood. Not to mention, you may internalize misinformation!

For some, not comparing themselves to others is MUCH easier said than done. I used to be one of those people! And I still am sometimes! but that's something I am working on. Which... For the sake of not only you as an alter, but also your system, I am seriously suggesting you to work on validating yourself via self help or a therapist. From one system to another, working on this will limit your denial phases and imposter syndrome. Like I said before, I'm a chronic compare-er, but when I learned to validate myself and my system, I no longer go through denial phases as a collective. Self Validation is the biggest key to flourishing as not only as a system, but also a key to thriving in life. Obviously validation from other's isn't harmful in any capacity and is very much required to flourish as a person too, but you seriously shouldn't give a fuck about people online who try to invalidate your system or system structure. Let me repeat that in a more direct way...

YOU KNOW YOU BETTER THAN SOME ASSHOLE ON THE INTERNET.

You know you even better than me too! Obviously!

With self validation, I will not leave you empty handed because simply saying "do this" is not enough for this point. I'll give you a few links and resources that will help kickstart your journey into self validation while discovering your system.

Here's my self-help link masterlist for self validation [this is a link]

-> POINT ONE ALSO INCLUDES AVOIDING SYSCOURSE.

I cannot stress how bad syscourse is for you, especially in early system discovery. From what I have seen from the very few syscourse blogs I follow, as well as mutuals and friends i talk to, it is draining and harmful for your mental health. I don't personally believe in engaging with syscourse, so I avoid it when I can- maybe I'll read a post or two, but I don't throw myself or system into it. I can imagine debating can be fun, but most syscourse is not real debating. Emphasis on *most* because I have seen real debate in syscourse spaces. Sadly though, the majority of posts I see within syscourse tags are either riddled with misinformation- from both of the sides of syscourse- or are filled with unwarranted vitriol [again, from both sides]. Not to mention the MANY posts of well researched systems just tiredly correcting the same things over and over and over again. My advice? Ignore it! Just stick to the silly memes, text posts, ask games, and informational posts. If later, when you feel more secure in your system and you want to engage with it, I support that! Just avoid it in the beginning.

-> Trauma is the response to the event, NOT the event

Thankfully, I've seen this talked about more than once in the system community, but I think it's important to talk about this here too. In order to explain this point properly, we have to discuss what trauma is. So... what is trauma?

" [Psychological] Trauma is the unique individual experience of an event or enduring conditions, in which: 1. The individual's ability to integrate his/her emotional experience is overwhelmed, or 2. The individual experiences (subjectively) a threat to life, bodily integrity, or sanity. (Pearlman & Saakvitne, 1995, p. 60) " [source]

What does this mean in the context of CDDs?

For one, a lot of systems have a hard time seeing certain traumas as traumatic for whatever reason, and for two, it's important to be reminded of this fact when going through system discovery. It's very common to be dissociated from all or most of your trauma in some fashion, whether it be emotional amnesia or black out amnesia. That means it doesn't 'feel' traumatic or there just isn't anything there. As you go through system discovery, its very highly likely that you, or your alters, will uncover trauma of some kind. Whether it be examples of emotional neglect or specific traumas, but sometimes it can be hard to accept that it was trauma or that you went through whatever. It's also common for people to misconstrue that trauma is a specific type of event when it just. is not. A lot of things can be traumatic, and someone's reaction to the same trauma will even be different.

TW: Car Crash talk, but nothing graphic.

I'll give you an example. Imagine four people got into a car crash together. Each person will have a unique response to that event. The driver becomes deeply traumatized and can never step foot in a car, the front passenger finds a weird thrill in it and seeks out similar experiences, back passenger one is traumatized but able to work through it, and the final passenger walks out fine, with no trauma. This is an example of that fact- that everyone reacts differently to the same or a similar event. One person can be deeply traumatized by, let's say, bullying, but another person may learn how to not care about what people think.

Trauma is unique to you, and you alone. What you find traumatic will not be exactly the same as another person.

I will say there are exceptions I can think of where it is always traumatic for a child, but it applies there too. Each child's response to a certain trauma is unique. This point kind of lines up perfectly with the next point because the very common misconception that trauma IS the event is built in misinformation and social media comparison [there it is again].

-> You should do your own research, but keep in mind some of the information you will find about CDDs may be outdated or filled with misinformation.

This is also important when you're getting to know your system because the first step to system discovery is doing research on your diagnosis or suspected disorder. It can help with validation because it is an external source of it! Seeing a medical paper or article that describes symptoms that align with yours is super validating! Not to mention seeing more than just one? It's amazing how much it truly helps with validation! HOWEVER. I would also extend your research into other dissociative disorders [such as DR/DP, P-DID, OSDD etc], as well as Maladaptive Daydreaming, since you may find co-morbidities or that your experience lines up better with another disorder. This is not to say you AREN'T a system, but it is an important point to bring up. It can just be that you have a different type of system than you thought! For example, believing you're an OSDD system, only to discover with research that your experience aligns more with DID.

This leads into the fact that when you're doing research on DID or any other of the CDDs that exist, you are likely to encounter misinformation, whether it be outdated information in articles or reading something on tumblr that just isn't factual! This can be confusing and mess up your ideas on what a system might look like or present as. It can even affect how you view your own system! That's why you have to do your own research! Researching can even bring validation to your experience when you research CDDs!

I will provide a few cursory resources that you may want to read as you begin researching! Keep in mind that these links do NOT account for full, proper research. This is just your kickstart!

Here's the masterlist of cursory DID research links [this is a link]

I will also add that looking into other's experience with CDDs is also a part of research! It's important to look into the experiences of other systems, but keep in mind the first point regarding self validation and comparison.

-> Identity, even in CDDs, is fluid.

A very basic and simple sum up of what DID is:

DID is the result of an inability to integrate the facets of an individuals personality during early childhood, usually due to multiple trauma-based reactions [such as neglect, abuse, natural disaster, war and other adverse experiences]. (Thank u Circ for ur help!!)

... and why do I bring this up?

Within a person who has integrated, and therefor does not have a CDD, those facets all still exist. The only difference is that they are more cohesive and as one, but all the facets are are still there. Identity within EVERYONE is fluid. Things change for even singlets! As you grow as a person, your identity shifts to reflect what you have learned. Like someone might find a gender identity they hadn't heard of that feels just right or they come across a new term that fits them better than the previous one- or they use it for a while and feel it doesn't fit them in the end. Things like this happen to everyone, including individual alters. This means you may have an alter that identifies as one gender, one sexuality, and it may change- that can be REALLY confusing as you're discovering your system because you may assume that it's a new alter all together, when it isn't.

Why I wish I knew this in early system discovery is because it would've saved me A LOT of headache when trying to log and keep track of alters. It can get really draining when you assume that every little identity shift is a new alter when it just simply is not. Sometimes it is, especially in systems where the alters present as very similar to each other, but I would stick to assuming they are not an alter until proven otherwise. This really only applies when you think you are a new alter, and not when it is through internal communication because, in my opinion, internal communication is more reliable when you're tracking alters. It's good to have an alter to 'back you up' so to speak, but it won't always be like that, especially in the beginning. This kind of leads me into my next point of this point [haha... point-ception].

-> System Discovery, and systemhood, in general, is a lot of guesstimations [guess work].

I just recently saw a post about this in the CDD tags. I actually think it's by the same author of the tumblr post I linked, but I wanted to elaborate and go into it in my own perspective. A lot of discovering your system is guess work and reading 'vibes'. This applies to a lot of aspects of systemhood- from an alter's identity to you're headcount [which I will get to later in this point]. It makes everything extremely confusing, meaning it can cause you to feel confused and discouraged, and memories that surface may seem unreal. When it comes to validating yourself and your system, you need to keep in mind that, once again, you know you better than someone else. Sometimes, there won't be external validation for things that come up with your system, such as memories that seem to have 'no evidence', but my therapist gave me some advice for this; if it's affecting you as if it's real, it's best to treat it like it is. This applies to things like body and other flashbacks. Maybe even extending to you thinking you may have a system! You have to learn to validate from the inside to know that, regardless of if it's ""real"" or not, it affects you. Does that make sense? If not I can make a follow up post to better clarify.

I mentioned headcount, and I do want to elaborate on that especially. Your Alter count is a huge amount of guess work, and is never really "concrete". You will never know cut and dry the amount of alters in your system because things fluctuate and identity is fluid. You will likely see people with a listed, exact alter count, and while that is there lived experience, things even change with people you see on the internet.

-> Alters can lie

This one is possibly the most discouraging part of this post, but a very important point to bring up. Alters, despite being the result of a failure to integrate as a child, are very much like their own people [at least, when differentiated], and people can, and do, lie. This is not to say you can’t trust your alters, but rather a reminder to be mindful when interacting with your alters, especially if you’re working with a persecutor of some kind. This is one of the ways your brain defends itself within CDDs, and isn’t any sort of moral failing on you or your alters. Alters lying can look like lying about your trauma [either exaggerating or hiding it], lying about themself, lying about aspects of the system, or other different ways.

For my fellow OCD havers ;

This is something that still messes me up with my OCD. Here is my advice to you ; if there is an alter you trust more than the others, ask for their help to be a rationalizer when you're talking to alters you feel you may not trust as much as the others. This works best if it's a gatekeeper, but it's not a necessity for the alter to be one. This is not meant to be an interrogation. It's meant to help with cross referencing. One alter might say one thing to that alter, but tell you another thing. Otherwise, my advice is to remember that if it's affecting you as if it's real, it's best to treat it like it is.

-> Start keeping a nightly journal.

Whether this be in the notes app or in a physical journal, trust me, this is a good one. Not only will it help you keep a good grasp on what your days look like, but it can also encourage external communication, which is one of the most reliable ways to communicate as a system. Sometimes it can be hard to get everyone to get on board with journaling, but I encourage you to try. I would say that you try to subconciously try to build up the idea of doing things even when you don't want to- its a hard thing to do, but if I can do it, I have confidence in the majority of people who read this post... Keep the journal in a noticeable place, or if it's on your phone, make sure that it is easily accessible. There are plenty of apps that can be used to journal as a system.

What to do if journaling is not accessible ;

If for, whatever reason, you can not write in a physical journal, or type on your phone or computer, I suggest taking voice recorded journal entries. An audio log! Not only will it make you feel cool and like you're from a detective movie [or maybe that's just me lol], but it also accomplishes the same exact purpose as having a physical journal. It can even make it easier for you if you have struggles reading. HOWEVER, if you don't feel safe enough to keep an audio log, I would go towards an app that you can use [but if it's not accessible, negate this whole point].

-> Communication is hard, but once you learn the basics, it only goes up from there.

In the system community, you're mainly interacting with other systems who have already established some form of communication within their system. It can be discouraging to see so many systems who have a grasp on communication, but you don't have any.

Learning any form of system communication, external or internal, is a learning curve. HOWEVER. When you learn the basics of any communication, it only gets easier.

Here's a link to a post full of links aimed at building communication between systems [this is a link]

With that, I'm going to end the post here! I could honestly make more points, and if there's really a need, I'll reblog with additions, but I think this is good start! I hope you learned something from this long post, and feel free to send in asks if you need any clarification! I might not be speedy to answer, but I'll do my best.

And your final reminder that I'm not a medical professional, just a system trying to help other systems.

Thank you for reading my post, and I hope you have a good day/afternoon/evening!