#Rule 1: No Eating Bananas

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Children's Dialogue

Language is extremely complex, yet children already know most of the grammar of their native language(s) before they are 5 years old.

BABBLING

Babbling begins at about 6 months and is considered the earliest stage of language acquisition

By 1 year babbles are composed only of the phonemes used in the language(s) they hear

Deaf babies babble with their hands like hearing babies babble using sounds

FIRST WORDS

After the age of one, children figure out that sounds are related to meanings and start to produce their first words

Usually children go through a holophrastic stage, where their one-word utterances may convey more meaning

Example: "Up" is used to indicate something in the sky or to mean “pick me up”

Most common first words (among the first 10 words uttered in many languages): “mommy,” “daddy,” “woof woof,” “no,” “bye,” “hi,” “yes,” “vroom,” “ball” and “banana”

WORD MEANINGS

When learning words, children often overextend a word’s meaning

Example: Using the word dog to refer to any furry, four-legged animal (overextensions tend to be based on shape, size, or texture, but never color)

They may also underextend a word’s meaning

Example: Using the word dog to refer only to the family pet, as if dog were a proper noun

The Whole Object Principle: When a child learns a new word, (s)he is likely to interpret the word to refer to a whole object rather than one of its parts

SYNTAX

At about two years of age, children start to put words together to form two-word utterances

The intonation contour extends over the two words as a unit, and the two-word utterances can convey a range of meanings:

Example: "mommy sock" = subject + object or possessive

NOTE: Chronological age is NOT a good measure of linguistic development due to individual differences, so instead linguists use the child’s mean length of utterance (MLU) to measure development

The telegraphic stage describes a phase when children tend to omit function morphemes such as articles, subject pronouns, auxiliaries, and verbal inflection

Examples: "He play little tune" or "Andrew want that"

Between 2;6 and 3;6 a language explosion occurs and children undergo rapid development

By the age of 3, most children consistently use function morphemes and can produce complex syntactic structures:

Examples: "He was stuck and I got him out" / "It’s too early for us to eat"

After 3;6 children can produce wh-questions, and relative pronouns

Sometime after 4;0 children have acquired most of the adult syntactic competence

PRAGMATICS

Deixis: Children often have problems with the shifting reference of pronouns

Children may refer to themselves as "you"

Problems with the context-dependent nature of deictic words: Children often assume the hearer knows who s/he is talking about

AUXILIARIES

In the telegraphic stage, children often omit auxiliaries from their speech but can form questions (with rising intonation) and negative sentences

Examples: "I ride train?" / "I not like this book"

As children acquire auxiliaries in questions and negative sentences, they generally use them correctly

SIGNED LANGUAGES

Deaf babies acquire sign language in the same way that hearing babies acquire spoken language: babbling, holophrastic stage, telegraphic stage

When deaf babies are not exposed to sign language, they will create their own signs, complete with systematic rules

IMITATION, REINFORCEMENT, ANALOGY

Children do imitate the speech heard around them to a certain extent, but language acquisition goes beyond imitation

Children produce utterances that they never hear from adults around them, such as "holded" or "tooths"

Children cannot imitate adults fully while acquiring grammar

Example:

Adult: "Where can I put them?" Child: "Where I can put them?"

Children who develop the ability to speak later in their childhood can understand the language spoken around them even if they cannot imitate it

NOTE: Children May Resist Correction

Example: Cazden (1972) (observation attributed to Jean Berko Gleason) – My teacher holded the baby rabbits and we patted them. – Did you say your teacher held the baby rabbits? – Yes. – What did you say she did? – She holded the baby rabbits and we patted them. – Did you say she held them tightly? – No, she holded them loosely.

Another theory asserts that children hear a sentence and then use it as a model to form other sentences by analogy

But while analogy may work in some situations, certainly not in all situations:

– I painted a red barn. – I painted a barn red. – I saw a red barn. – I saw a barn red.

Children never make mistakes of this kind based on analogy which shows that they understand structure dependency at a very young age

BIRTH ORDER

Children’s birth order may affect their speech.

Firstborns often speak earlier than later-born children, most likely because they get more one-on-one attention from parents.

They favor different words than their siblings. 

Whereas firstborns gabble on about animals and favorite colors, the rest of the pack cut to the chase with “brother,” “sister,” “hate” and such treats as “candy,” “popsicles” and “donuts.” 

The social dynamics of siblings, it would appear, prime their vocabularies for a reality different than the firstborns’ idyllic world of sheep, owls, the green of the earth and the blue of the sky.

MOTHER'S LEVEL OF EDUCATION

Children may adopt vocabulary quite differently depending on their mother’s level of education.

In American English, among the words disproportionately favored by the children of mothers who have not completed secondary education are: “so,” “walker,” “gum,” “candy,” “each,” “could,” “wish,” “but,” “penny” and “be” (ordered starting with the highest frequency).

The words favored by the children of mothers in the “college and above” category are: “sheep,” “giraffe,” “cockadoodledoo,” “quack quack,” the babysitter’s name, “gentle,” “owl,” “zebra,” “play dough” and “mittens.” 

BOYS / GIRLS

One area of remarkable consistency across language groups is the degree to which the language of children is gendered.

The words more likely to be used by American girls than by boys are: “dress,” “vagina,” “tights,” “doll,” “necklace,” “pretty,” “underpants,” “purse,” “girl” and “sweater.”

Whereas those favored by boys are “penis,” “vroom,” “tractor,” “truck,” “hammer,” “bat,” “dump,” “firetruck,” “police” and “motorcycle.”

Tips for Writing Children's Dialogue (compiled from various sources cited below):

Milestones - The dialogue you write should be consistent with the child's developmental milestones for their age. Of course, other factors should be considered such as if the child has any speech or intellectual difficulties. Also note that developmental milestones are not set in stone and each child is unique in their own way.

Too "Cutesy" - If your child characters are going to be cute, they must be cute naturally through the force of their personality, not because the entire purpose of their existence is to be adorable.

Too Wise - It’s true kids have the benefit of seeing some situations a little more objectively than adults. But when they start calmly and unwittingly spouting all the answers, the results often seem more clichéd and convenient than impressive or ironic.

Unintelligent - Don’t confuse a child’s lack of experience with lack of intelligence. 

Baby Talk - Don’t make a habit of letting them misuse words. Children are more intelligent than most people think.

Unique Individuals - Adults often tend to lump all children into a single category: cute, small, loud, and occasionally annoying. Look beyond the stereotype.

Personal Goals - The single ingredient that transforms someone from a static character to a dynamic character is a goal. It can be easy to forget kids also have goals. Kids are arguably even more defined by their goals than are adults. Kids want something every waking minute. Their entire existence is wrapped up in wanting something and figuring out how to get it.

Don't Forget your Character IS a Child - Most of the pitfalls in how to write child characters have to do with making them too simplistic and childish. But don’t fall into the opposite trap either: don’t create child characters who are essentially adults in little bodies.

Your Personal Observation - To write dialogue that truly sounds like it could come from a child, start by being an attentive listener. Spend time around children and observe how they interact with their peers and adults. You can also study other pieces of media that show/write about children's behaviour (e.g., documentaries, films, TV shows, even other written works like novels and scripts).

Context - The context in which children speak is crucial to creating realistic dialogue. Consider their environment, who they're speaking to, and what's happening around them. Dialogue can change drastically depending on whether a child is talking to a friend, a parent, or a teacher. Additionally, children's language can be influenced by their cultural background, family dynamics, and personal experiences. Make sure the context informs the dialogue, lending credibility to your characters' voices.

Sources and other related articles: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Writing Notes: On Children ⚜ Childhood Bilingualism More: Writing Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[batsandbirdbrains]

I want a season 1 yj Dick who just does odd shit. He doesn’t necessarily do it on purpose, he’s just a strange little fella, and Bruce has never told him to knock it off or do things differently because he too was a strangle little guy (now a strange big guy) and so he sees nothing out of the ordinary.

So you have Robin meandering around the kitchen at Mount Justice after training one day making his favorite post-training snack: a tortilla covered in peanut butter and chocolate sprinkles wrapped around a banana. It’s a real treat. He can only have it at the mountain because Alfred has told him he has to have proper meals after training, and Alfred always knows when Dick tries to disobey that rule.

You have the team watching fascinated as Robin gnaws on a steak, holding it up like a lollipop, after he said he needed some protein. Because protein bars are gross and bad for you and they are strictly for when you’re in the field on a mission. They’re a last resort. You won’t catch him eating one of those things willingly, they taste like cardboard. They tell him he’s acting like a caveman. He just tilts his head and asks, “Is that a bad thing?”

You have a Robin who hangs from the rafters by his knees, arms dangling below, body swaying slightly, because that’s how he thinks best. They’re trying to figure out how a bunch of intel works together for a case, trying to connect the dots, and once he figures it out, he drops from the ceiling and does a flip(or two or three or four) before launching into an explanation. He accidentally startles M’gann so bad she squeaks. He gives her a shy little wave as an apology, but doesn’t slow down in his explanation.

You have a Robin who climbs to sit on Superboy’s shoulders when he wants to tell him a neat fact he learned at school, because that’s what he does when he’s with Bruce, and Bruce has never once complained. To be fair, Conner doesn’t complain either, but mostly because he’s just confused about why Robin can’t tell him this from where he was just standing on the ground next to him. It ends up becoming one of Conner’s favorite things to look forward to when Robin visits Mount Justice, even if the fact Robin tells him is something Conner already knows. He just like show excited Robin gets, how animated he is, how much he moves his hands around while he talks, sometimes gripping at Conner’s hair if he starts to lose his balance from getting over-excited.

You have a Robin who communicates in grunts and hand signals when he doesn’t particularly feel like talking, because that’s what Bruce has taught him. Sometimes Dick just doesn’t feel like talking. He’s having a bad day. He’s not actually as chatty as everyone seems to think he is, and so Bruce helped him find a workaround. It takes the team a few weeks to decipher all the different hand signals and types of grunt before they just ask him what he’s trying to say. Dick gives them a spiral bound guide the next day. When he leaves to go back to the batcave, the team sits together and studies it like they’re going to be given an exam. When Robin notices them all perfectly understanding him the next time he’s feeling quiet, his smile is so dazzling that it makes them all nearly melt.

Idk I just like when Robin is a strange little bird and it sort of unnerves everyone around him while also making him incredibly endearing at the same time.

[leisureflame]

"I CANT THINK"

If you write, I assure you you have thought that.

Fear no more child, for I have found a solution.

it's called Rapid writing

something we learned when I was in 9th grade drama class and I cannot emphasize enough just how effective it is. Its actually what gave me the idea for my first book.

Stop what you are doing and do what I tell you

go grab either a pencil and paper (or open an empty document)

set a timer for 2 minutes

ask a friend to give you a random sentence. I have a few examples that I myself rapid wrote to: a) I looked around and saw b) the old lady hung from the ceiling and laughed c) purple paint dripped from her long purple fingernails d) there is a hole in my ceiling. e) when I am sad I... f) When you close the door, I... g) there is a wooden door with a gold doorknob

Now the most important thing is not to think of this sentence before you start writing. as soon as you decide which one if you are choosing from my examples (or as soon as you hear it if you are getting if from a friend), start the timer.

start writing the sentence and without hesitating just keep writing. the #1 rule here is to not stop or hesitate for a single second until the 2 minutes are over. you can write nonsense if you want and if you REALLY can't continue then write some random words for a couple of seconds then continue AS LONG AS YOU ARE STILL WRITING.

another rule is that you are not allowed to delete. even if its a spelling error, just ignore it.

after the timer is done, I promise you will have something to work with. now copy the paragraph you wrote and paste it below, here you can start fixing spelling errors and adding things at your own pace because now the creative side of your brain has opened.

don't think about the way you are writing or the words you use, think about the story you are telling. the idea.

Sometimes you will get something beautiful and deep like I did here:

When I am sad I go to my blanket, not many people know about it, all they think is happening is that a child likes to cuddle in a blanket, but no. my blanket has a special thing about it, it is a magical blanket, well, not the blanket itself but the embroidery on the blanket, it simply takes my sadness away but it adds the story of my emotions to the embroidery, my blanket is a very pretty one, it is a pastel blue color and it has so much silk embroideries that you just think its patterns, but it isn't, if you look deeper you will find stories every one of those stories came from someones tears... my tears. whenever i cry, i wipe my tears with my blanket and my pain goes but my story stays.

or

there is a wooden door with a gold doorknob on the door there is a painting of you, and there are many locks on the door from top to bottom, when you open the door, there is a mirror. this door is the door to self discovery, from the outside there is a painting of how people think you look like but when you open the door, you get to see what you really are in detail and look at yourself they way you want to, you can smile or cry and the refection on the mirror will change but on the painting, it doesn't show ur emotions, just how people see you usually.

or you can get something so stupid like i did here:

there is a hole in the ceiling in my classroom. everyday a dinosaur would a pear and eat my lunch and i keep coming home hungry but my mom dsays she packed me enough food. so she didn't feed me. i told her a dinasour was eating my lunch but she said that disasours only live in Norway! so i went into the school vents looking for that idino and revenge my food, we met at last, held our weapons, i was holding a subway sandwich and the dino was holding a bana na MY BANANA  i lost it, so i attacked him one hit on the head and the whole species were extinct , people thousand of years from now said dinos got extinct because of a meteorite but i know better, also i am still alive because whoever kills a dino becomes immortal, also i killed my mom for not believing me and let her starve in her grave just like she let made me starve. and then i killed everyone who was a flat earther because i hate them and now i can kill anyone once i tap them with my super subway sandwich 

(by the way, ignore the horrible spelling, the examples i gave were from the unedited version.)

THE POINT IS ITS ACTUALLY SO HELPFUL. you can use it for a new story idea (i used the blanket one as an element in one of my WIPs and it helped the story a lot) or if you get something stupid like the dino one I wrote THATS GOOD THATS FINE because now you have your creativity going.

I challenge you to actually try this and PLEASE share it with me I LOVE reading other peoples rapid writings. have fun <3

tagging @cosmosandcapybaras24 @ajsbookshelf @gloryofdawn, @chaoticharmony93 @deception-united and anyone else who's interested to try this out and share with me!

[deadghosy]

HAZBIN HOTEL X CAELUS! READER

prompt: you were found digging in their trash and they took you in

(I got covid😭 so me posting xreader will be kinda slow)

You were digging for some food ever since you fell from heaven because you kept fighting people over trash…I mean damn reader…

You fell with a blank look as you had a rotten banana in your mouth as you looked down to see pentagram city…so what did you do? You pulled out your fire sword and slash the ground to soften your fall which worked. You changed it to a bat for protection as you found a dumpster!

CHA-CHING✨ MORE TRASHHHH

You dig in the dumpster not hearing a person whistling. The person dropped the garbage bag shocked to see a….? Whatever you are digging in the dumpster. Your face was completely dirty as you lift it up to show you found a cool old watch.

Charlie didn’t know what to do. Are you homeless? Is what she thought as she takes you out the garbage as you blankly stare at her “•_•” “uhm sweetie are you okay?” “……” “not much of a talker huh…” you just stayed quiet as Charlie introduced herself and shook your hand bringing you to the hotel so you can have a place to stay.

I feel like you were a new angel and only stayed for like 1 month…(free trial ass shit…) and so when you didn’t act holy and proper. That’s why you mostly got kicked out

Vaggie will know you are an angel because of your angelic look and golden eyes as you just stand there minding your business. You tell her you fell because you fought over your treasure….your trash practically. So Vaggie tells you what happened to her and you hugged her making her feel safe about herself a bit.

You two have matching bracelets you made from an exercise Charlie did.

Okay I headcannon that Lucifer is already in the hotel living with his daughter. And he felt your presence and he would be like. “Fuck are you doing here”🤨 “I fought for my life.”

Vox one time put you on air with him because of your golden shining eyes….i think he was flirting with you as you ate some gift cookies he made for you…

Velvette tried to make you a model, but you kept wandering off somehow. Literally she got tired of you but never of your face as she at least posted you wearing some nice 2000 makeup

Carmilla had a gut feeling about you being an angel. She wanted to kill you but then you gave her a ring you found in a dumpster because you said she reminded you of your earth mother/parent. Yeah she wanted to adopt you

You help sir Pentious, or who you call penny for his project builds. You dig in dumpster’s, trash bins, and garbage dumps

Angel dust and you sometimes just be on your phones all the time which is obnoxious. But hey, I don’t make the rules. Being on your phone makes it seem like you don’t want to be talked to which is true.

Lucifer made you a duck as he notciced how lonely you are….(you don’t give a fuck, you only need trash as your friends) so Lucifer made you 20 ducks that are based on your favorite things or like idk just ducks

The egg boiz follow you around as you literally calling you the, “TRASH BOSS!” Not in a bad way more like in admiration as you give them stuff from the garbage.

Your golden eyes shining in the night scaring husk as he didn’t even see you in his hind sight. Like he is a cat, but he didn’t even see you?!

You and alastor’s both eat weird things, like he is a cannibal….and for you..either trash or just normal weird food combos

Alastor would definitely try to get you to eat cannibal meat, but to be honest you can tell the difference between human and regular meat. You always know.

Niffty is the kind of person who would give you a trash flower crown, kinda like how she made a crown for Alastor ✨🦆

I headcannon your angelic/demon form to be a raccoon 💀

You send dumbass memes in the hazbin hotel gc…

You are quite the feral person tbh, but who didn’t know when you literally fought people for your damn trash.

You definitely had bit Valentino once as Angel dust brought you to a club and you were digging in trash to find something cool. But Valentino found you adorable in the face and wanted to make you a sex worker. And what did you do when he tried to hurt Angel?

YOU BIT HIS FUCKIN HAND ALMOST OFF AS ANGEL WAS TRYING TO PULL YOU OFF😭

Yeah..you definitely had blood dripping from your mouth when Angel dragged you out of the club

[nemesis-writer]

Five Minutes (Chapter 1)

Masterlist No choice TW: Neglect, mentions of blood, mental illness

10 days later...

"So who is she?", Duke asks.

"She's a criminal now." Tim replies, he gets up just to drink a beer.

"No she isn't" Jason retorts.

"Then what is she?" Duke asks.

"She's a child, or should I say was a child", Jason interjects.

"She's just being temperamental and probably just throwing a tantrum." Damian jibes.

"She killed all yakuza leaders with a katana," Jason retorts.

"She's definitely not Bruce's child, because there's no way that Bruce could do that." Duke jokes.

"She is. I took a paternity test." Bruce replies.

"She's getting smarter and better. She was supposed to be in the fortress where we keep the people who are too mentally insane to go to Arkham." Cassandra adds.

"I checked the security cameras of all the places she's been in and she has the ability to manipulate a person in to doing her malicious acts. Must be why she's able to escape every time by using someone else for her bidding. " Tim reveals.

Asylum, 10/11/2017,

"Hello, my name is chief Lawson, FBI. I'm here to ask you where you hid the bodies."

"Rotting apples with wasps feasting. Brown bananas with flies retreating. A fox in the night is ripping black bin bags open. Cats are eating a chicken casket after Sunday dinner. A white owl is gobbling a slaughtered mouse, happy, sitting on the evening fence. The brown rat is running for the bushes after stealing bread. A giant cow jawbone is found in the dirty ground. The tired young man died on the motorway bridge and was found. Zombied humans are eating out of plastic bins. Death is everywhere! Take a look inside – don’t be ignorant about what you find." She sings but keeps her back faced to the FBI.

"You're not really helping here lady." Lawson said.

"It's in the song, but if you don't listen then I can't help you." Eurus said.

She starts to stand up and go towards the glass.

"Step forward and touch the glass officer." Eurus feints.

"No, you give me answers lady."

"Or what? You'll shoot me? This is bullet-proof glass sweetheart." Eurus replies, "I'll touch it if you want."

The officer steps forward and touches the glass on for her to grab his neck and choke him to death.

End of recording...

"Lawson was supposed to be one of the best FBI detectives." Bruce says.

"He was. She's evolving and the longer we let her evolve, the more people will die." Stephanie adds.

"Why would she do this?" Bruce wonders

10 years ago...

Love can come from many forms and languages. It follows the same rules with hate, negligence, toxicity, and jealousy. It may not be shown all in one go, so it will gradually grow until it could eat you alive whole. Let's list what each has demonstrated.

Unintentional negligence: Bruce proves as a simple embodiment of this action. He found you to be insignificant and mediocre. When really your true colours were just about to shine.

Negligence based on superiority: Dick has quite the experience in that area. He always thought that people would look up to him and he would be the role model of the family. He never meant for his negligence to go as far.

Love relying on sufferings: Jason truly knew how broken you were and wanted to fix it. It took him too long to realise that you may be able to fix and broken mirror, but it would never be as it was.

Hate relying on significance: Tim is the obvious answer since he never truly cared for you. Until now. He hated the fact on how you were so 'naive' and 'helpless', that you don't deserve to live like them.

Hate and jealousy based on blood: Since you were the child of a common whore, Damian thinks of you as a whore and never a Wayne. He has a perfect assassin of a mother and a rich vigilante for a father to add up. You on the other hand, have nothing, and are nothing to him.

Toxic and fake interest: All the girls, Cassandra, Barbara, and Stephanie has a bond with you. They pretend to be interested and all ears when they really plan to hurt you and shut you up. They'd do anything just for you to back off. It was never true with them.

Love of a sibling and of keen interest: Duke has always wanted a sister who was normal. So far he assumes that you're the closest thing to normal that wasn't as fake as Cassandra, talkative as Steph, or as busy as Barbara. He understands your pain and wants to be the sibling you never had.

Present...

Each had their own description of their 'bond' with you. But things have changed, they changed. Why wouldn't you wanna go home for them?

Don't you see how much they treasure you now?

Come home little robin.

A/N: I kinda like this chapter because I'm basing it off from the BBC Sherlock Holmes Series and I hope you'd like it!

Taglist

@lunayaps, @not-aya, @iluvcatzz, @vanessa-boo, @ivyrose9194,@thesehandsarerated-e, @eyeless-kun, @errorunfound1, @gwyneveire, @alishii, @cxcillia

[petite-anni]

🌸🌿skinny lifestyle - balanced mind🌿🌸

~Being skinny is a lifestyle, not a challenge. It won’t come naturally and working hard is essential, so here are daily habits to build and to stay disciplined~

Your motivation WILL fade at some point. That’s when discipline and habits come in and you keep you in line.

1. 10k steps a day

It’s such a peaceful and efficient habit to start your day.

It helps you to stay lean, tone your body and burn some calories. Walking is low-stress, aids digestion and reduces bloating.

I love getting my steps in first thing in the morning. If that’s not possible just break it into chunks - morning, lunch break, evening walks or just whenever fits you💗

2. portion control > restriction

Labeling food as good and bad is so exhausting. The more you restrict yourself the more you tend to break your set up rules and binge.

Eat what you enjoy, just not excessively. Stay within your calories. Plan your meals.

You can use smaller plates, chew slowly, drink inbetween/before/after and avoid mindless eating in front of screens.

3. Gut Health Basic

I will die on this hill. Your gut health affects everything. Your whole body. Digestion, skin, energy and mood.

Healing your gut is essential and can you help drop weight.

Include probiotic foods: yogurt, kefir, kimchi, sauerkraut

Add prebiotics: oats, bananas, garlic, onions

Stay hydrated and reduce ultra-processed food, track what causes bloating or discomfort - everyone’s gut is different.

4. extra secret - blood sugar

Keeping my blood sugar level balanced helped me loose the last few pounds.

Eating high-sugar or fast-digesting carbs spikes your blood glucose and your insulin rushes in. Your blood sugar crashes and you will be hit with cravings, fatigue and irritability.

Stable blood sugar = fewer cravings, more energy.

When you eat balanced meals and and glucose enters your bloodstream slowly, your insulin stays in check.

= you stay full longer, crave less and burn fat more efficiently

Eating in the right order can help achieve that (first fiber, then protein/fat, then carbs)

~~Also, my recommendation would be Berberine !!

It’s a supplement working as a natural insulin-sensitizer and helps with glucose control. You’ll feel more energetic and can loose weight easily by burning fat more efficiently

~ You don’t need to cut carbs — you need to control how your body processes them.

It’s not “eat less” — it’s eat smarter ~

💗💗💗💗

[fearlessreid]

does ellie rule the house or do we?

summary: a blurb with a 1 year old ellie. she has the worst roommates in the world (her mom and dad)

𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐𖤐

I wipe mashed banana off the floor for what feels like the eighth time this morning and glance up at Ellie, who is sitting in her high chair like a tiny dictator, clapping her hands with a face full of mischief and zero remorse.

“You know,” I say, voice level like I’m talking to a full-grown roommate instead of a one-year-old in a onesie with jelly in her hair, “if you’re gonna keep throwing food, you better start contributing to rent. Minimum wage is $7.25 and you’ve got zero work experience, my dude, better start those applications mini me”

She grins. Like, full toothy gremlin grin. Somehow proud of herself.

From the living room, Eddie yells, “Is she throwing food again?”

“She threw it again.”

Eddie appears in the doorway, shirt half-buttoned, hair an absolute disaster. He’s holding his guitar like he was mid-riff when the banana chaos began. He raises his eyebrows at Ellie.

“Listen, Elvira. We’ve had this conversation. We don’t waste food in this house. Some of us were raised on off-brand cereal and broken dreams.”

Ellie responds by blowing a raspberry.

He gasps. “Disrespectful.”

I laugh, wiping banana off the wall now because somehow we’re redecorating via fruit.

Eddie walks over and plants a kiss on my head before leaning down to look Ellie in the eye. “Alright, homegirl. What’s the vibe today? You gonna nap at a reasonable time or you gonna make us question every decision we’ve ever made since high school?”

Ellie picks up a sippy cup and hurls it to the ground. Then giggles.

“She’s choosing violence,” I say.

“She is her father’s daughter.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

I glare at him but it’s pointless, because he’s already scooping Ellie out of the chair and tossing her up in the air like she weighs nothing and he doesn’t have a bad shoulder from that time he tried to stage dive off a van.

Ellie shrieks pure joy and grabs two handfuls of his hair on the way down.

“Ah nope, nope, that’s attached to me, thanks,” he wheezes, but he’s laughing.

I lean on the table and just watch them for a second. Her curls are wild, cheeks rosy, Eddie’s eyeliner from last night is still smudged under his eyes, and there’s a tiny stain on his shirt shaped like a chicken nugget.

It’s not a glamorous life. It’s barely functional. But it’s ours.

And honestly? It's kind of perfect.

Eddie plops down on the couch with Ellie perched on his chest like a very cute barnacle. She immediately starts trying to eat the strings on his guitar.

��Hey,” he says seriously, “that’s vintage. You can’t just slobber on art.”

“She’s a critic,” I offer. “She’s saying your solo sucked.”

Eddie gasps like I’ve wounded him. Ellie cackles.

I flop down beside them and rest my head on his shoulder. He leans into me, warm and familiar, and Ellie reaches out and sticks a soggy hand in my mouth.

“Cool,” I say. “Thanks for that.”

“She’s expressing love,” Eddie says. “Or dominance. Could go either way.”

“Definitely dominance.”

We sit there for a second, the three of us, wrapped in noise and love and chaos.

Then Eddie says, “Hey, serious question—do you think we could teach her how to bring us snacks? Like a tiny butler?”

“She can’t even walk yet.”

“So you’re saying there’s still time to train her.”

“Oh my god.”

Ellie lets out a triumphant “BAHHH!” and we both lose it.

Yeah. We have no idea what we’re doing.

But we’re doing it together.

-

[we-rice-boi]

Do you guys think the guys would be a bit weirded out by some of your habits? Let's use one of mine for example, I sometimes go to the bathroom and eat while I go #1 with the door open cause I just can't be bothered sometimes (when I'm home, obviously). Mainly just hand-held food items like a banana.

So just imagine one of the guys catching you just takin a piss with the door open, munching on a banana cause you couldn't be bothered to put it down.

I feel Caleb & Zayne wouldn't be too surprised about any of your weird quirks since they knew you before your adult glow-up. However, with your weird habit, I can see Zayne commenting about it being unsanitary, but still seeing it as weirdly endearing. Bro is in love with a weirdo.

For Xavier, I also think he wouldn't react, at most he's just confused. However, he does find himself picking up on your weird eating habit. Also, he has little to no room to judge, Mr. I can fall asleep anywhere. You can't convince me he hasn't fallen asleep on the toilet a few times.

And lastly, our Lil Fishy, Rafayel. This little drama queen is going to either do what he does best and be dramatic about it or tease you lovingly about how much of a little weirdo you are (lovingly, of course). That is until you clock him by stating some of his own weirdo tendencies.

For Sylus, he's definitely going to find your unusual habits cute. The dude is a weirdo, ok, I don't make the rules. I'm honestly cackling cause when it comes to this prompt, all I can imagine is Sylus seeing u on the toilet with the door open and going "pissin' all by yourself, handsome [Sweetie]?". OMGAWD I CAN'T-

Author's Note: I found this ramble in my draft and literally have no memory of writing it. I was most likely sleep-deprived and... eating on the toilet. Ya ya, I know weird as hell but this is Tumblr and I'll be dammed if I can't be unfiltered on this site.

Well that's all, class dismissed (* ´ ▽ ` *)

[gohyemi]

Mission abort!! Signal failed! L.S.M

⋆ 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: fluff, humour

⋆ 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: seokmin x reader

taglist: @ateez-atiny380 @lilydaisylily @dreamingofpcy @sumzysworld @mxnhoeuwu @notanotherbigfangirl @iarayara

a/n: its a mess

<<PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4

.ೃ࿔☼*:��.ೃ࿔☼*:･.ೃ࿔☼*:･.ೃ࿔☼*:･.ೃ࿔☼*:･

Part. 5

“You sure he’s acting like that?” Jeonghan raised a brow, lazily sipping his iced coffee.

“Yeah,” Y/N muttered, arms crossed as she leaned back in her seat. “It’s weird. Like—why now? When I’m trying so hard to move on, that’s when he decides to act like this?”

She let out a frustrated sigh, head falling against the back of the bench.

The past few weeks had felt like a dream she wasn’t sure she wanted to wake up from—or fall deeper into.

Before, it was always her waiting for him after class, her buying the banana milk, her chasing moments with him.

Now, the roles had reversed.

Seokmin had been… different.

He waited for her now. Showed up with snacks, casually sliding them into her hands as they walked together.

And the messages?

Daily.

Seokmin: morning, morning to you and morning for me too ✨ Seokmin: don’t forget to eat, okay? I know you skipped it 🫤

It was as if he suddenly realized she was slipping away—and now, he couldn’t stand it.

And then there was the Seungcheol problem.

Every time she was with Cherry, somehow—somehow—Seokmin would appear. Like magic. Or a glitch in the simulation.

“That guy pisses me off,” Seungcheol muttered one evening after Seokmin had miraculously shown up at their usual hangout spot—again.

Y/N just chuckled, resting her chin on her hand.

“He’s kinda cute, though,” she said teasingly.

Seungcheol groaned dramatically and rolled his eyes, practically melting into his chair. “ no I know why people said that love can make people blind”

“Hey!”

.ೃ࿔☼*:･.ೃ࿔☼*:･.ೃ࿔☼*:･.ೃ࿔☼*:･.ೃ࿔☼*:･

“So, where do we start?” Seokmin asked, grinning. “Should we try that viral hamburger place? It’s near here.”

They were walking side by side, the sky soft with golden afternoon light. Ironically—or maybe fatefully—they had both shown up in white tees layered under light blue button-ups. A silent match neither of them planned, yet somehow perfectly them.

a few days ago seokmin had message her to have a bit hangout

“Want to hang out before we go to the bar with them?” Y/n is hesitant seeing Seokmin message

She was unsure but not stupid. She is for sure feeling this time that this guy is trying to win her. 

“You better make it better, Lee Seokmin, cause I don’t want to get my heart broken like last time”, she mutters to herself while replied to him, agreeing to meet with him

“I’ll follow along,” Y/N said with a playful grin, “as long as you pay, Seokmin.”

He skipped a step ahead excitedly, her teasing barely making him falter. But then—he slowed, turned to glance at her with a small frown.

“Why don’t you call me that anymore?”

Y/N blinked. “Call you what?”

He pouted slightly. “Minminie~. You used to call me that all the time. But now… nothing. Yet you’re out here calling that dude Cherry like it’s no big deal.”

Y/N paused, lips parting. “Well… it was to avoid misunderstandings. People thought we were a thing because I was so—um—extra with you,” she trailed off, rubbing her neck awkwardly. 

Seokmin’s brows knit slightly, but he didn’t back off. “Well, calling him Cherry could cause misunderstandings too, couldn’t it?”

Y/N opened her mouth, closed it again. Technically, he wasn’t wrong.

“I call you Y/Nnie~,” he added, a small smile tugging at his lips. “So call me the same, too.”

Y/N looked at him for a second—his eyes were hopeful, just a bit sheepish, and somehow annoyingly adorable.

She let out a breath and surrendered. “Alright, alright. Minnie~”

His smile immediately brightened, boyish and pure.

Y/N, meanwhile, mentally facepalmed.

Sorry, Jeonghan… I had to break that one rule. It’s hard to resist this guy.

Night had fallen, and the soft neon lights of the bar buzzed quietly against the hum of voices inside. It was their usual hangout spot—warm, a little loud, and full of laughter. Y/N and Seokmin walked in together, side by side, the buzz of their earlier outing still lingering between them.

As the door swung open, they were greeted by cheers and shouts from their group already seated inside.

“Woo! Seokmin and Y/N arrived together? What is this~?” one of their friends teased, loud enough to draw attention.

Heads turned. Laughter bubbled. And from the end of the long table—Seungcheol looked up.

He was seated beside Jeonghan, a few girls chatting near him, though he didn’t seem particularly interested. But the moment he heard their names together, his gaze sharpened—locked directly on the two walking in.

Seokmin chuckled and raised his hand awkwardly. “We just got back from checking out that burger place—came straight here after.”

He turned to Y/N with a smile, already reaching out to guide her. “Come on, Y/N, let’s sit—”

“Y/N! Over here!” Seungcheol’s voice cut in smoothly.

He waved from his seat, already scooting over to make space. Jeonghan grinned beside him, silently observing it all unfold like a drama.

Y/N turned to Seokmin briefly, offering him a soft smile and a light touch on the arm. “I’ll go sit with them, you can sit with your friends, yeah?”

Before he could even process a reply, she had already made her way to Seungcheol’s side.

Seokmin stood there, arm half-extended, smile frozen.

Disbelief twisted in his chest.

And then—

He looked up and saw Seungcheol lifting his glass toward him, that signature smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

A subtle challenge.

The fume in Seokmin’s chest ignited just a little more.

.ೃ࿔☼*:･.ೃ࿔☼*:･.ೃ࿔☼*:･.ೃ࿔☼*:･.ೃ࿔☼*:･

The night had been full of laughter, loud games, and shared stories that echoed through the bar like familiar songs. Y/N was glowing, cheeks pink from the drinks and the energy of the group. She had let herself loosen up, let herself laugh a little louder—and almost drink a little too much.

“Alright, that’s enough.” Jeonghan gently pried the shot glass from her fingers, brows raised.

“Huh?” Y/N blinked at him, tipsy and confused.

“Stop it, girl. Go fix yourself. Seungcheol will send you home,” he said firmly.

She blinked again, then turned to Seungcheol, who raised a brow, halfway through a sip of his drink.

“Seriously?” she asked, though her body was already leaning against the table, tired from the long day.

“Seriously,” Jeonghan nodded, patting her shoulder. “Go wash up before you fall asleep here.”

Y/N groaned but gave in, wobbling slightly as she stood. “Fine, fine…”

She turned to Seungcheol and handed him her small purse.

“Hold my bag for me?”

He stood up casually and gave a dramatic bow. “As you wish, my lady~”

She giggled and wandered off toward the restroom.

Seungcheol chuckled to himself, sitting back down, the bag resting in his lap as he scrolled through his phone.

But then—he felt it.

A shift in the air.

A presence stepping up in front of him, heavy with unsaid words and something a little darker.

Seungcheol looked up from his screen.

Seokmin.

His expression unreadable. Jaw slightly tight. Eyes fixed on him, sharp and quiet.

“Yes?” Seungcheol asked, calm and composed. His voice held no edge, but his eyes said he was ready—ready for whatever this was.

Seokmin stood in front of him, fists clenched at his sides, no longer trying to mask the frustration.

“I’m not gonna sugarcoat this. And I think you already know what I’m about to say.”

Seungcheol leaned back slightly, playing it cool. “Hmm? Not sure I follow.”

“Cut the act,” Seokmin snapped, his voice low but firm. “Do you have feelings for Y/N?”

Seungcheol’s eyes flickered—just for a second—but his tone didn’t waver.

“I don’t think I’m obligated to answer that.”

Seokmin scoffed lightly, shaking his head. “Well, I’ll go first then.”

He looked him dead in the eyes.

“I like her. And I’m not just realising it now. I’ve liked her for a long time. But I messed up. I took too long to figure it out… and now she’s closer to you.”

Seungcheol didn’t flinch. Just sat there, Y/N’s bag still in his lap like a symbol of where things stood.

“I don’t know what the hell happened..” Seokmin continued, voice raw now. “But I’m not just going to stand back and let you take her.”

The words hung between them, heavy, charged.

A beat passed.

“She’s not a prize to be taken, Seokmin.” Seungcheol finally spoke, calmly, but without his usual smirk.

Another pause, he takes the last sip of his drink, then his eyes dart to Seokmin’s.

“But I’m not stepping back either.”

-tbc-

.ೃ࿔☼*:･.ೃ࿔☼*:･.ೃ࿔☼*:･.ೃ࿔☼*:･.ೃ࿔☼*:･

[jockdumboy]

big dumb jock tut

step 1: lift heavy, bro – don’t think, just lift

bro, dis still da most important part. lift heavy stuff erry day. no rest days, bro! no excuses. pick up heavy things, put ‘em down, repeat. simple.

jock lifts:

• bench prees: bro, da king of lifts. lay down, grab da big bar wit da weights on it, and push it up. don’t stop till ur chest feels like it’s on fire. big chest = alpha chest. boom.

• bicep curlz: grab sum heavy dumbellz, bro, and curl ‘em up to ur face. keep goin till ur arms feel like they gon fall off. big arms get all da respect, bro. curlz get da girlz, remember that.

• lat pulldownz: sit on da machine, bro, grab da bar, and pull dat thing down hard. feel dem wings growin on ur back. wings = dominance. don’t stop till ur back looks like u could fly away.

• legz (important now, bro): aight, bro, we gonna do sum squatz. grab da bar, put it on ur back, and squat down. do dis till ur legs feel like noodles, bro. big legz mean u can look good wearin da short shorts, plus u won’t fall over when ur chest gets too big. don’t skip leg day anymore, bro. trust me on dis.

• abs (gotta get da 6-pack, bro): do dem crunches, bro, like 100 at least. don’t stop till ur stomach feels like it’s about to explode. da 6-pack will come, just keep crunchin. it’s all about consistency, bro. plus, da ladies love da abs.

step 2: eat clean, bro – get shredded

bro, u can lift all day, but if u wanna be shredded, u gotta eat clean. no junk food, bro. clean food only, dat’s how u get shredded af.

simple bro diet:

• breakfast: 10 egg whites. no yolks, bro. da yellow stuff messes with da gains. and eat a banana, bro. bananas are good. den wash it down with a protein shake, always gotta have dat shake. protein is life.

• lunch: chicken, bro. lots of it. chicken is like da muscle food. maybe some rice if ur feelin’ fancy, but bro, rice is for marathon runners, not jock bros. and don’t forget another protein shake.

• dinner: more chicken, bro. chicken erry meal. or steak if u feel like it. steak is good too. maybe sum veggies like broccoli cuz broccoli makes u ripped, bro. i seen da big dudes eat it, so we eat it too. end da day wit another protein shake.

• before bed snack: big spoonful of peanut butta, bro. peanut butta got da good fats. plus, it’s delicious. wash it down wit another protein shake, bro. protein is errywhere.

step 3: look da part, bro – dress swole

u gotta dress like a jock bro if u wanna be one, bro. dat means tank tops, ripped sleeves, and da shortest shorts possible. show off da gains, bro.

bro style rules:

• tank tops: if ur tank top don’t show off ur nipz, it’s not tight enough, bro. show dem gains. u worked hard for ‘em.

• short shorts: since we do legs now, u gotta show ‘em off. da shorter da better, bro.

• backwards hat: always rock da hat backwards, bro. makes u look cool af, plus u can see urself flexin in da mirror better.

• sneakerz: just make sure they fresh, bro. u can’t roll into da gym lookin like a scrub. no sandals, bro. unless u got socks on, but dat looks dumb.

step 4: act like a jock bro – lifestyle moves

bein a jock bro ain’t just about liftin and eatin. it’s a way of life, bro. act like a jock bro errywhere u go.

bro rules to live by:

1. flex errywhere: if u see a mirror, bro, flex. don’t even think about it. just flex. people gotta know u swole. bathroom mirrors, car windows, store windows – all flex spots.

2. talk about liftin: u gotta talk about ur lifts erry convo. someone talkin about sumthin else? change it to how much u bench or how many reps u did yesterday, bro. lift talk = respect.

3. drink water from a gallon jug: u need a gallon jug of water, bro. carry it wit u errywhere. if u ain’t drinkin outta a gallon jug, people gon think u weak.

4. grunt loud at da gym: if u ain’t gruntin, u ain’t liftin hard enough, bro. da whole gym should hear u. u lift heavy, u grunt heavy. show ‘em who’s boss.

5. spot ur bros: always spot ur bro when he’s goin heavy. if he fails a rep, dat’s on u, bro. don’t let him down. bros always got each other’s backs.

conclusion: u got dis, bro

bro, if u do all dis, u gon be da biggest, most shredded jock bro in da world. just lift heavy, eat clean, drink protein shakes, and flex errywhere. it’s dat simple. don’t think too much, just do it. now go hit da gym, bro. let’s goooo!

[ash-says]

Cheating Anxiety With Me

Seatbelts tight? Hands Steady? Are you still shaking? No, then lets rideeeee.

Anxiety the feeling of dread, uneasiness, fear, shaking, restless, heart beating rapidly, etc

Coping with anxiety is difficult especially for the mentally deranged girlies. No hate I love you all. You are just so my type of people.

Today I am going to tell you how to deal with it because you know what I say, "Kill or get killed."

The classic deep breathing technique: Start from 1 breathe in to the count of 4 then hold at 5 and breathe out from 6 to 10. This will help in evening out your breathing and slow down your heart beats.

Move, Sway and twirl: You feel an anxiety attack taking over you the best way to tackle all that excess energy released through FFF hormone is by MOVING YOUR BODY. Exercise. Dance. Run. Anything just move.

Sleep: Yeah, you read it right. Just shut down your system and sleep. This is my personal go to. Overwhelming anxious thoughts, feelings, anything we let it marinate over a nap. Works wonders for me.

Talk to a friend: Another personal go to. Sometimes the feelings are so loud, disturbing and dark that sleep is no longer an option. At such times talk it out. Seek a friend. Best if they are physically present with you. Ask for a hug. Loving touch. Don't be embarrassed. It does wonders. Trust me.

Nature therapy: One of the ways I accidentally discovered was that trees, plants and flowers can be extremely calming. No one to rely on. Go and hug a tree. I promise you it works. Social anxiety? Okay I got you also covered. Buy some fresh flowers or if you have house plants touch them. Inhale their scent. Graze the petals or leaves lovingly and tenderly. Feel them. It will calm you down.

Sugar saves the day: Okay some people might come at me for this one but honestly anything sweet is the holy grail for dealing with it. Now the trick here is not eating desserts and chocolates but rather fruits like grapes, banana, watermelons, etc. Basically eat healthy things. We don't want diabetes now, do we?

The 333 rule: This one goes like name 3 things in your surroundings, identify 3 sounds and touch 3 things. This helps in distracting your brain and calming down your wreck of a system.

Positive self talk: Keep on repeating like a broken record that it is going to be okay and you will get through it. As loud as your inner thoughts get that much loud this self talk gets. Basically overpower that annoying bitch inside you. Winning is the only option.

Identify the triggers and face them: Literally be a detective and find out your triggers and then put yourself through it by yourself until it becomes a normal thing for you. I am not advising this for dangerous things but you can try this on smaller triggers. Example: A song, a scent, a topic is a trigger to you. So now listen to that song, inhale that scent, read things around that topic willingly and train your brain and body to tackle it so that when it comes up suddenly your brain doesn't go in survival mode.

No to drugs, alcohol and risky behaviors: You should be going to them over your dead body. Please I am begging you don't indulge in them. Yes I am asking you lovingly, with teary eyes please don't do this to yourself. Don't punish yourself more. The world is already a harsh place if you won't be kind to yourself, who will be then?

Bonus one: Find a strict no bullshit friend who isn't afraid to call you out on your toxic behavior, put you in your place and is ready to be the pillar on which you can rely on. Because we are not able to differentiate in right and wrong during those times. Its really difficult to maintain the moral compass. That's why you need a community of trusted people to hold you down.

Fight your way back. Because this world is a cruel place babygirl. You do anything to survive. If you are still dreaming of a saviour. Dream on.

[kaibutsushidousha]

The Hundred Line 1st Impression Session #1

Takumi Sumino

Not much we didn't already know about him before. It's funny how between the original Saihara, Yuma from Rain Code, and Takumi here, Kodaka has repeated what we can "the Saihara archetype" of Kodaka protagonists. I guess that will now be his most utilized protag type, surpassing "the Naegi archetype" (the Naegi siblings and Akamatsu) because Akamatsu only gets one chapter as protagonist. Meanwhile, "the Hinata archetype" (Hinata, Otonashi, and the Death Come True guy) is the most underrepresented due to DR0 and DCT being significantly shorter than his games.

Darumi Amemiya

Another one that was already covered at Tokyo Game Show. Not much new going on aside from the reveal that she's voiced by Farouz Ai (based based based based). She has potential to be great depending on how serious Kodaka wants to be about her manic depression.

One intriguing comment in her gameplay showcase is that Kodaka mentioned her attack animations are based on a Gilgamesh from another series, but he cannot disclose which series this Gilgamesh is from despite both The Hundred Line and the unidentified Gilgamesh's series both being Aniplex productions. Watching the animations, her attack remind me of Boss from Fate/Samurai Remnant, but Boss was never stated to be a Gilgamesh, it's probably not him. I guess it mustn't be from anything I know.

Eito Aotsuki

Komaeda II was also already covered at Tokyo Game Show, but today's display downplayed his Komaedaness and focused more on his pathetic desperation to make friends, and established his place in group dynamics as the one companion no one trusts because he's always making the cheesiest and most fake-sounding friendship speeches. He's also voiced by Sakurai (unbased) which further distances himself from the initial Komaeda impression.

Standout dialogue:

Aotsuki: Right, before discussing that, we need to introduce ourselves to each other. So, what are your hobbies? Any food you don't eat? What's your sign? Favorite manga? What club you're at in school? Do you watch a lot of movies? Play video games? What do your parents work with?

Takumi: Hold on, that's too much to answer at once.

Aotsuki: Huh? Oh... Sorry, good point... I don't really know how to interact with people, as you might have noticed. Sharing self-introductions feels pretty unusual...

Kurara Oosuzuki

Her intro dialogue has her explaining the dumb pun of her name, so I'm already intrigued to see what the localization will do about this one.

The super elite billionaire kid who thinks everyone else is trash is a character type Kodaka already did before with Togami, but they already prove themselves very different in their placement in group dynamics, as Togami is the guy who posed as a killing game player while Oosuzuki is completely invested in supporting the team. Neat stuff.

I hope Kodaka/Komatsuzaki commits to the bit and she never takes off her tomato. Ideally, they never even decided what her canon face looks like.

Ima Tsukumo

I wish authors would stop reinventing Yuri Briar. I already dropped Yomi no Tsugai over this.

CV: Ogata Megumi

Kodaka is trying to bribe me with good voice acting and it won't work.

Ima: Hm, this ketchup & mayo rice soup is banging. The oil levels in the broth rule!

Kako: My rice bowl with chocolate, banana, and chili sauce shrimps is great, too. I can't even tell if it's sweet or spicy.

Kodaka is trying to bribe me with ugly food and it will work. More of this, please. You have a real chance of making me like your creep.

Kako Tsukumo

The other twin. Her special subject is Morality, in contrast with her brother's special subject being Misconduct. We already got the explanation for what Misconduct does in gameplay, so her Morality is the only special subject so far that we know nothing about.

We already have an open statement that her story will be about learning that she can disobey her brother, so that's a plotline with a lot of potential already.

She's also a canonical fan of ugly food and detective fiction, so I can trust completely that if she were real and I hadn't made my Danganronpa V3 ugly food post, she would have done it. Thank you, Kodaka, I feel very personally homaged here.

[zerosuitsammi3]

Chaos Ask Game

1. If you had to, would you cut off your own pointer finger or 3 toes?

2. Start a fire in a public place or start a flood in a public place?

3. Throw a rock into busy interstate traffic or shoot fireworks at a church?

4. Skip through a morgue or dance through a children's ICU?

5. Kill a politician or a billionaire?

6. Masturbate while riding a bus or in a taxi?

7. Damage public property or private property?

8. Banished to the shadow realm or the netherrealm?

9. Poison your enemy quietly or stab them openly and loudly?

10. Crop dust a room full of senior citizens or loudly rip ass in a room full of senior citizens but accuse one of them blatantly?

11. Eat rotten food to intimidate guests or eat guest to intimidate rotten food?

12. Banana or oranges?

13. Orange you glad to see banana?

13. Orange you glad to see banana?

14. Random fucked up thing you did once?

15. Orange you glad to see banana?

16. Which family/found family member would you eat first in a Donner party scenario?

17. Fire: the purifier or my painful friend?

18. Brick or rock?

19. What's the first rule of fight club?

20. Was the third lil pig actually more intelligent or an exploitive capitalist?

21. How many licks does it actually take to get to the center of the tootsie pop?

22. Would you rather be a bee or a chicken?

23. Does this look okay to you?

24. Orange you glad to see banana?

25. Are you sure?

[deadghosy]

MORE OF TRAILBLAZER!READER PLS PLS PLS PLS PLSSS, WHAT DOES THE ANGELS THINK OF TRAILBLAZER!READER???

HAZBIN HOTEL ANGELS X TRAILBLAZER! READER

prompt: how they viewed you in heaven was something no one excepted an angel like you to act.

I just gotta say. You are a fucking menace.

When you first appeared in heaven as the most beautiful thing with your golden eyes and two pair of wings….you weren’t the most nicest as you were too blunt.

“Is this a flash bang? Why the hell is it so bright here.”

everyone gasped at the H word as if this was kindergarten all over again

*cue you need to leave sound*

Sera had to put a few rules in your face. Literally a whole ass rule book as you sat there with a blank face saying. “Are you effing Fr?” Sera nodded and left leaving you with this HUMONGOUS ASS BOOK THAT REMINDED YOU OF FAIRLY ODD PARENTS

Sera founded you as a troubled youth that needs to see the rules all over again to see the true potential for you to stay in heaven.

Emily didn’t think of you being a troublemaker, she found you quite cool as you explored around heaven having the bravery to speak your mind and not let anything bring you down.

Emily and you got along great and fine as she calls you her little collector as you call her…just Em.

It was a late heavenly night as you stood up from your bed as you did a barrel roll for your balcony as you were starving for some digging. You rummage through the dumpster to find a nice old pearly necklace and a bracelet. “Emily would love this…” you said as you smiled not noticing a blonde haired lady watching you with an asumed smile.

The blonde haired lady from afar found you mysteriously cute and attractive as you roam the streets of heaven. 

ADAM HATES YOUR FUCKING GUTS😭😭

It all started when you was digging in trash. It was basically flirting for you to dig through it. *cue fuck boy face* AND THEN ADAM HAD SNUCK BEHIND YOU READY TO INSULT YOU-

But you kicked him straight in his fucking chin-

That horse ass kick gave him a bruise on his chin for legit 2 weeks

You once blasted music in your apartment…I mean shit it was good music you got from the human world you use to live in. You got so much noise complaints but thanks to Emily, she made it seem like you weren’t causing issues.

Lute has no opinions on you, she just doesn’t have time to even look at you. Even though you sometimes break in her place to eat all her food like the raccoon you are.

One day you actually caused trouble in heaven just because you decided to dig in a lady’s trash bin from outside.

“HEY GET OUT OF MY DARN TRASH BIN YOU RACCOON!” An angel yelled from her window throwing her boom at you as you swung your metal bat at her that you totally didn’t find in the trash nights ago…..

The lady screamed ducking as the bat went back into your grasp like a boomerang. “THATS IT! IM CALLING THE GUARDS!”

And so that was your cue to run as if your life depended on it as you thrown a rotten banana peel you found in your pocket. You still had one in your mouth.

And that’s how your 1 month trial ended because you fought bitches for your trash.

[m00nlight-ramblings]

BG3 Companion Modern AU Headcanons

These random thoughts popped into my mind and I had to write them down. I love these little weirdos, and some of them probably don't make sense but OH WELL.

Should I do a Part 2 with more companions?? Let me know - my inbox and requests are open!

------

Astarion

This dude's got iPad kid energy - he loves to scroll Tiktok for hours.

He gets bi-weekly pedicures. And not the basic kind - the full on 1.5 hour long with the massage and the mask and the exfoliation.

His favorite holiday is Halloween. He plans his costume starting in August.

He'd be the type of person to be walking through a mall, see a Claire's, and spontaneously decide to get his ears pierced idk.

Is really into metal. Like, you'll come home and Metallica will be blasting and you walk into the bedroom and he's folding laundry and just like, "Oh, HELLO, Darling!" but will have to scream it over the volume in which he's listening to music

Will truly take an hour picking out the perfect wine to pair with your dinner...he's definitely a wine snob.

The cheapest article of clothing Astarion owns is from Banana Republic and it's an undershirt...everything else is ~*very fancy*~

Loves watching all types of vampire movies/TV shows. He can often be heard saying, "Oh no, they got that all wrong" under his breath.

He definitely reads like 1-2 books a week. He's recently really gotten in spicy smut books (he definitely got recommendations from BookTok).

For sure falls asleep to ASMR videos.

Gale

This man loves HGTV *queue Home Depot commercial music*

Has the most absolutely beautiful, clean home you've ever seen with about 30 bookcases CRAMMED with books. The books are the only disorganized thing in his home because he constantly is reading them, so alphabetizing them is useless.

Pinterest is his most used phone app. His boards are carefully curated. That man has a recipe/inspiration pic/quote for EVERYTHING.

Definitely volunteers at the animal shelter once a month. Often times has to talk himself out of bringing a cat home.

LUSH is his favorite store at the mall. He loves them bath bombs.

He THROWS DOWN at holiday parties...Christmas? Thanksgiving? The table is SET. The decorations are UP. He's wearing an APRON because he's been cooking ALL day. The playlist is PERFECT.

Speaking of holidays, he has matching pajama sets for everyone in the household. For every. Holiday.

Fall is absolutely his favorite season. "Sweetheart...have you ever watched 'When Harry Met Sally'? Perfect autumn movie...also I bought a new scarf today to go with my new peacoat. And mittens. And a new hat...it's getting cold outside."

He definitely has a Live. Laugh. Love. adjacent sign somewhere in his home

He definitely needs glasses to read. And he for sure has those librarian chains so that he can just take them off and they hang, instead of losing them.

Karlach

Absolutely loves to eat meals watching Youtube videos.

Imagine her in Times Square? She tears the M&M's store UP.

Is obsessed with documentaries. She often says things like "I can't believe there's so much stuff to LEARN out there!"

Definitely has a Squishmallow collection. And she rotates which one she sleeps with every night so they all get a chance.

Is absolutely the worst cook of all time but tries really really hard...however, she can make a mean boxed mac n' cheese.

Has an obsession with sugary cereal. There's always Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Fruity Pebbles in her cabinets.

Certified Switie for SURE.

Is really into astrology. Definitely has said, "Oh, you're just saying that because you're a SCORPIO" or the like many, many times.

Absolute Starbucks addiction (venti iced caramel macchiato, extra caramel).

Has monthly "girl's nights" (but everyone is invited) at her place. The rules are: pajamas only, junk food, romcoms, and a playlist of the best pop songs in the past 20 years.

------

How'd y'all like it...should I make a part two with other companions?! Remember my inbox is open and I'm accepting requests!! I'd love to write some stuff so send it in!

[macgyvermedical]

What type of diet and/or exercise regimen would you recommend for a trans dude working to build a more muscular and masculine figure?

Different things work for different people, but personally I used Nerd Fitness, which was different 10 years ago when I started it, and personally I like the original NF better than the current one.

So here's a brief overview:

Bodyweight circuits for exercise. Do these about 3x per week. Look up videos on youtube for anything you don't know how to do:

Warm up by doing some active stretching that works every body part you plan to use during your workout. This can include arm circles, monster kicks, front bends, cat/cows, butt kicks, anything that stretches you with movement. Try to avoid a warm up that has you doing static stretching (stretching without moving the body part in question).

Then once you feel nice and warmed up,

5 Push ups (if you can't do a push up, do knee push ups or chair push ups, or wall push ups, and work your way up to standard push ups)

10 Squats (hold onto a chair for balance if you need to)

5 Sit ups (use an exercise ball if you need to)

5 Lunges each side (hold onto a chair if you need to)

10-Second plank (if you can't do a standard plank for 10 seconds, do a knee plank)

15 Jumping jacks

Take as long as you need to do these exercises, and pause for a break/go on to the next exercise if your form starts to slip. Try to keep breaks to less than a minute. It is better to do 5 wall push ups well than 1 standard push up badly.

If you haven't exercised in a while, try doing this 1x through for three times the first week, 2x through for three times the second week, and 3x through for three times the third week, and then start increasing the number of each exercise you are able to do for subsequent weeks. For example, try 7 push ups/12 squats/7 sit ups/etc... per circuit. Adjust to your needs and always strive to do a little more each week.

Once you're done with the workout part, cool down with static stretches of any muscle you used during the workout.

For diet, I did a modified paleo diet. The following is a good shopping list for 1 week (back in 2017 this was a $5/day shopping list, but it definitely costs more now).

Protein:

Eggs- 2 dozen

Meat- 2lbs of either chicken breast, stew meat, or sausage

Tuna: 2 cans, packed in water

Vegetables:

Sale veggie- 2 pkg

Cauliflower- 1 large

Broccoli- 1 bag

Stewed tomatoes- 2 cans

3lb Onions- (every other week)

3lb Sweet potatoes

10lb Russet potatoes- (once per month)

Fruits:

Sale fruit- 2 or 3 pkg

Canister Prunes or Raisins

Frozen fruit of choice

Nuts:

Whole raw almonds- 1pkg

Other:

Dark Chocolate- 1 large bar

Tea- 100 tea bags (once in a blue moon)

Instant Coffee- 120 cups worth (once in a blue moon)

Olive or sunflower seed oil- (once per month or so)

Salt- one large canister iodized or box kosher, (literally once per lifetime)

Condiments (I excepted these from paleo rules for my own sanity) mayo, ketchup, pickles, mustard, etc…- (once in a blue moon)

Dried spices- (once in a blue moon)

Vinegar of choice- (once per month or longer, depending on how much you like vinegar)

Bouillon cubes- (once in a blue moon)

Meal Prep Tips:

Boil most of the eggs, leave a couple for if you like fried eggs occasionally or want to make banana-egg pancakes. You can easily take boiled eggs in a lunchbox or eat them with prunes or raisins for a quick breakfast.

The prunes/raisins and almonds were and still are my go-to easy breakfast.

Grate the cauliflower- steam it with salt, oil and spices as a side later or mix it with the crumbled sausage for a 1-bowl meal

Cook the sweet potatoes and regular potatoes ahead of time. There are lots of ways to do this and they are all delicious. They are also easy to pack in a lunch box.

Hard veggies like carrots, cauliflower, sweet potatoes, and broccoli are AMAZING when tossed in olive oil, salt, and spices and roasted or broiled.

Cook and pull the chicken (easiest in a pressure cooker but you can also boil the crap out of it too). Makes it super versatile. You can make like 10 different things with it and they will all feel different. No more plain chicken boob for you!

Stew with the stew meat, any veggies (including onions and potatoes) and spices will give you many easy future meals and can be made with just about anything you’ve got (throw the stewed tomatoes in this too).

Tuna salad (with oil and vinegar and spices if you’re really feeling paleo or mayo, onions and pickles if you’re me) and leftover roasted veggies make a great lunch.