#Self Help Guide
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Small Ways To Become Ridiculously Charming



1. Practice The Art of Smooth Communication.
Practice articulating your thoughts with finesse, choosing words the resonate deeply. Embrace the power of storytelling weaving narratives that captivate your audience.
2. Become Unpredictable.
Imagine life as a captivating story with unexpected plot twists. When people can't predict your next move, they remain engaged and fascinated by your dynamic character.
3. Level Up Your Compliments.
Anvone can give generic compliments, but you take it to another level. Tailored to the individual. When people feel truly seen and appreciated for their unique qualities, they can't help but be charmed by your perceptiveness
4. Magnetic Eye Contact.
it conveys confidence, attentiveness, and a genuine interest in the other person.
5. Use The "Familiarity" Concept.
Approach conversations as if you've known the person forever, even if you've just met. Display a warm and friendly demeanor that puts others at ease. Show genuine interest in their stories.
#glow up journey#glow up hacks#aesthetic#glow up#glow up tips#it girl#that girl#that girl aesthetic#that girl moodboard#it girl aesthetic#that girl outfit#becoming it girl#it girl moodboard#it girl guide#it girl outfit#that girl guide#becoming that girl#glow up guide#glowingskin#n1pp guide#elegance#elegant#self care#self love#self improvement#self help#self healing#high value woman#high value mindset#becoming her
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How To Become A Brand New Person ✨✨
Self Reflect:
Journal daily.
Think about past decisions and how they impacted your life.
Meditate regularly.
Create a vision board to visualize your goals.
Review your strengths and weaknesses.
Identify your core values and beliefs.
Figure out your passions and interests.
Think about your childhood dreams and aspirations.
Evaluate your current state of happiness and fulfillment.
Set Clear Goals:
Define specific career goals, like "Get promoted within two years."
Set health goals, like "Lose 20 pounds in six months."
Create financial goals such as "Save $10,000 for a vacation."
Establish personal development goals, like "Read 24 books in a year."
Set relationship goals, such as "Improve communication with my partner."
Define education goals, like "Complete a master's degree in three years."
Set travel goals, like "Visit five new countries in the next two years."
Create hobbies and interests goals, such as "Learn to play a musical instrument."
Set community or volunteer goals, like "Volunteer 100 hours this year."
Establish mindfulness or self-care goals, such as "Practice meditation daily."
Self Care:
Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day.
Follow a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables.
Prioritize getting 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night.
Practice in relaxation techniques like deep breathing or yoga.
Take regular breaks at work to avoid burnout.
Schedule "me time" for activities you enjoy.
Limit exposure to stressors and toxic people.
Practice regular skincare and grooming routines.
Seek regular medical check-ups and screenings.
Stay hydrated by drinking enough water daily.
Personal Development:
Read a book every month from various genres.
Attend workshops or seminars on topics of interest.
Learn a new language or musical instrument.
Take online courses to acquire new skills.
Set aside time for daily reflection and self improvement.
Seek a mentor in your field for guidance.
Attend conferences and networking events.
Start a side project or hobby to expand your abilities.
Practice public speaking or communication skills.
Do creative activities like painting, writing, or photography.
Create a Support System:
Build a close knit group of friends who uplift and inspire you.
Join clubs or organizations aligned with your interests.
Connect with a mentor or life coach.
Attend family gatherings to maintain bonds.
Be open and honest in your communication with loved ones.
Seek advice from trusted colleagues or supervisors.
Attend support groups for specific challenges (e.g., addiction recovery).
Cultivate online connections through social media.
Find a therapist or counselor for emotional support.
Participate in community or volunteer activities to meet like minded people.
Change Habits:
Cut back on sugary or processed foods.
Reduce screen time and increase physical activity.
Practice gratitude by keeping a daily journal.
Manage stress through mindfulness meditation.
Limit procrastination by setting specific deadlines.
Reduce negative self-talk by practicing self-compassion.
Establish a regular exercise routine.
Create a budget and stick to it.
Develop a morning and evening routine for consistency.
Overcome Fear and Self Doubt:
Face a specific fear head-on (example: public speaking).
Challenge your negative thoughts with positive affirmations.
Seek therapy to address underlying fears or traumas.
Take small, calculated risks to build confidence.
Visualize success in challenging situations.
Surround yourself with supportive and encouraging people.
Journal about your fears and doubts to gain clarity.
Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small.
Focus on your strengths and accomplishments.
Embrace failure as a valuable learning experience.
Embrace Change:
Relocate to a new city or country.
Switch careers or industries to pursue your passion.
Take on leadership roles in your workplace.
Volunteer for projects outside your comfort zone.
Embrace new technologies and digital tools.
Travel to unfamiliar destinations.
Start a new hobby or creative endeavor.
Change your daily routine to add variety.
Adjust your mindset to see change as an opportunity.
Seek out diverse perspectives and viewpoints.
Practice Gratitude:
Write down three things you're grateful for each day.
Express gratitude to loved ones regularly.
Create a gratitude jar and add notes of appreciation.
Reflect on the positive aspects of challenging situations.
Show gratitude by volunteering or helping others in need.
Send thank-you notes or messages to people who've helped you.
Keep a gratitude journal and review it regularly.
Share your gratitude openly during family meals or gatherings.
Focus on the present moment and appreciate the little things.
Practice gratitude even in times of adversity.
Be Patient:
Set realistic expectations for your progress.
Accept that personal growth takes time.
Focus on the journey rather than the destination.
Learn from setbacks and view them as opportunities to improve.
Celebrate small milestones along the way.
Practice self-compassion during challenging times.
Stay committed to your goals, even when progress is slow.
Keep a journal to track your personal growth.
Recognize that patience is a valuable skill in personal transformation.
Celebrate Small Wins:
Treat yourself to your favorite meal or dessert.
Reward yourself with a spa day or self-care activity.
Share your achievements with friends and loved ones.
Create a vision board to visualize your successes.
Acknowledge and congratulate yourself in a journal.
Give yourself permission to take a break and relax.
Display reminders of your accomplishments in your workspace.
Take a day off to celebrate a major milestone.
Host a small gathering to mark your achievements.
Set aside time to reflect on how far you've come.
Maintain Balance:
Set clear boundaries in your personal and work life.
Prioritize self care activities in your daily routine.
Schedule regular breaks and downtime.
Learn to say "no" when necessary to avoid overcommitment.
Evaluate your work life balance regularly.
Seek support from friends and family to avoid burnout.
Be kind to yourself and accept imperfections.
Practice mindfulness to stay present and grounded.
Revisit your priorities and adjust them as needed.
Embrace self love and self acceptance as part of your daily life.
#personal improvement#personal development#personal growth#self help#self awareness#self reflection#self improvement#level up journey#self love journey#dream girl guide#dream girl journey#dream girl tips#becoming that girl#that girl#it girl#glow up tips#glow up#clean girl#pink pilates girl#divine feminine#femininity#femme fatale#feminine journey
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Sam uses Dean's caretaker mode to trick him into taking care of himself when things get really bad. He'll exaggerate how physically hurt or mentally unwell he is to try to nudge Dean in the right direction. It's his only solution since Dean refuses to be cared for. Being Dean's little brother is a full-time job.
Dean isn't eating? When Dean serves him food, Sam immediately gets to work. "I don't know, Dean. I don't think I can stomach a full meal right now🥺" "You need to eat. Come on, Sam. One bite for me. One bite for you, okay?" "Okay🥹" He got Dean to eat a little.
Dean isn't showering? Okay, it's showtime! "You're going to bed like this? No shower first?" "Not with how shaky my legs are. The last thing I need right now is cracking my skull open in the shower." "Yeah no I'm not letting you sleep caked in mud and blood. Come on, Sammy. I'll help you. You'll feel better afterwards" "Okay🙄" Dean had to get in the shower with him to not flood the entire bathroom. Mission accomplished.
Dean isn't sleeping enough or, worse, not at all? He got this! "Just go to bed, Sam. You can’t even see straight." "Can't. Nightmares." "You need to try at least." "You'll wake me up if I have a nightmare?" "Yeah" They go to his room and Dean sits next to him on the bed. Eventually, he falls asleep too and they both get a full night of sleep
#Sam's self-help guide on how to take care of Dean Winchester when he is neglecting himself#Sam being manipulative for the greater good aka Dean’s health#supernatural#sam winchester#dean winchester#samdean#wincest#weirdcest#gencest#spn
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Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)
#poorly drawn mdzs#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Woah...it's been a whole *year* since I took the leap and uploaded my 'first attempt' art.#It's outdated now but it holds a special place in my heart for the fact it started all of this off.#Calling this 'poorly-drawn' was always about accepting that my art was going to be imperfect and messy - and doing it anyways!#There has been a staggering number of times I have drawn something I almost didn't upload because I didn't think it was 'good enough'#only for someone to say they liked it - or that it made them laugh. And it has helped me realize -#-The worst critic for my work has always been myself. If I listened to it all the time...well we would not be here now B'*)#And now that I have dabbled in other fandoms I can truly see how lucky was to start out with the MXTX fans.#The supportive messages and tags have truly been a guiding force toward my artistic and self improvement.#I really can't describe how grateful I am.#Thank you for seeing something worth rooting for when I was just figuring things out.#Thank you for being sweeter than the candy I have strategically hidden in the nooks and crannies of this house.#But watch out! If you forget to find them we will get ants.#I remembered to not hide chocolate in the bed this year. Yes I know it melted last time. Yes it did stain. I'm still sorry.#Thank you for loving me regardless <3 Even if it looked like I shit the bed real bad.
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how to glow up this summer without losing your mind ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・☀️
summer’s here and everyone's acting like glow ups are just bikinis and beach trips — but you’re smarter than that. if you want a real glow up? it’s going to take more than sunscreen and a new outfit. it's going to take actual discipline, not just aesthetics.
✦ glow up your energy first.
pretty is temporary. energy is forever. fix your mindset. fix your morning routine. protect your peace like it's your only job this summer. (because it is.)
✦ move your body.
no, not to punish it. not for “summer body” BS. move because a strong body holds a strong mind. walk. stretch. lift heavy things. dance around like you’re in a coming-of-age movie. just move.
✦ hydrate your skin and your brain.
drinking 3 iced lattes doesn’t count as hydration, sorry. real glow ups aren’t dehydrated. carry that water bottle everywhere. drink until your skin thanks you.
✦ romanticize your daily routine.
stop waiting for a vacation to feel good about life. sunset walks. cute playlists. books at the park. iced coffee in your favorite glass. make summer feel good even when nothing “special” is happening. ☀️🍓
✦ unfollow, block, delete.
energy vampires? bye. people who drain you? block. accounts that make you spiral? unfollow. your glow up depends on what you allow around you.
✦ create goals, not wishes.
“i wanna glow up” isn't a goal. “i want to journal 5x a week, hit 8k steps a day, finish 3 new books” — that’s a goal. this summer is what you decide it is. stop leaving it to chance.
final reminder: this isn’t your pinterest summer. this is your summer. no one’s coming to give you permission to glow up. give it to yourself. and then work for it. ☀️
#girlblogging#girlhood#hell is a teenage girl#im just a girl#this is a girlblog#motivation#self help#self improvement#it girl energy#it girl#pink pilates princess#that girl#pinterest girl#vanilla girl#becoming that girl#becoming her#glow up#it girl aesthetic#dream girl#just girly posts#girly blog#wongyoungism#wonyoungism#summer self improvement#high value habits#self love journey#it girl summer#glow up guide#dream girl summer#summer glow up
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✧ the foundation for your coquette tumblr presence: the ultimate guide by mindy (1/15)✧



hello darlings~ mindyyy here
i see so many amazing little blogs on tumblr, so many that inspire me and motivate me to post more here on tumblr, so i decided to make a little series helping you to create the most ethereal corner of tumblr you've ever dreamed of for yourself. i'm going to guide you through every delicate step of establishing your presence, ensuring your blog becomes a soft haven that attracts kindred spirits!!!
important note:
all the tips, advice and steps i give you in this series are the exactly what i use for my blog, this is what helped grow my blog to 1.1k followers, while befriending some of the most amazing people i've met, tumblr is an important place for me, and i've been using it for years, i've helped multiple other people grow their own tumblr blog, and i've use these exact steps. this series is superrr important to me and very well-thought out and planned, please don't steal my content ideas, or plagiarize my content or series ideas, they are super time-consuming to create and i put all my hard work into it. this series is to help you all create and build a sustainable coquette blog. keep in mind these tips i give in the series can be used for any type of tumblr blog, it doesn't just have to be coquette, however everything i say in this series is more tailored to creating a coquette blog, so just make sure to know if you aren't creating a coquette blog, that's totally fine and you can still use these effective tips! <3
let me begin with the essential elements that will form the foundation of your digital sanctuary:
choosing your perfect username
your username is like a whispered introduction, so choose carefully. consider these elements:
incorporate soft, romantic words (pearl, rose, moth, sage)
avoid numbers unless they're meaningful dates
keep it easily typeable and memorable
check availability across platforms
consider future branding possibilities
make it very short to keep it neat
pro tip: before settling on a name, write it in different fonts and styles to ensure it maintains its beauty in various forms.
example:
crafting your blog description
your description should feel like an embrace to whoever reads it. (this is both for the pinned post of your profile/blog and the description of your blog) include:
a brief, poetic introduction
your main content themes
posting schedule if you have one
any specific content warnings
languages you speak
your timezone for mutuals
special interests using soft bullets (✧)
developing your signature aesthetic
this is where the magic truly happens. your aesthetic should flow through every element:
color palette selection:
choose 3 primary colors and 2 accent colors
maintain consistent hex codes
save your palette for easy reference
consider seasonal variations
test colors against white and black backgrounds
visual elements to consider:
custom cursor designs
carefully selected fonts (maximum of 2-3)
consistent border styles
signature dividers and bullets
background patterns or textures
sidebar images and icons
essential technical setup
while maintaining our dreamy aesthetic, we mustn't forget the practical:
enable infinite scroll
set up custom links
organize your tags systematically
create navigation buttons
establish post width preferences
configure ask box settings
set up queue parameters
your blog is another part of you. every element should work in harmony to create an atmosphere that feels both intentional and effortlessly beautiful.
before you go:
✧ save your color codes in a pretty document ✧ create a moodboard for visual reference ✧ test your layout on different devices ✧ prepare a tag system ✧ gather inspiration images
with love, mindy xo
if you don't already know, i have my own newsletter here: GlowetteeMindy
#tumblr tips#blog aesthetic#coquette#blog guide#digital sanctuary#part 1#blogging advice#dream girl#that girl#girlblogger#girl blogger#becoming that girl#pink#self improvement#it girl energy#glowettee#helpful#useful#life tips#resources#good to know#for future reference#selfcarevibes#wellness#wellbeing#selflove#self care#gloomy coquette#coquette dollete#dollette
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Excited to announce 📖D9wn The T9wer!
A self-help guide to surviving and escaping toxic, narcissistic & abusive relationships.
It's written & posed as an innocent storybook starring a little whisp that's trying to climb down a 99 level tower with you one floor at a time. The book is a complete camouflage intended to help those who wish to escape abusive situations but have their every move monitored. To an outsider who doesn't know the intent of the book, it will just seem like an ordinary comic book. This book will go over the basics to help those reading it to identify, manage, and eventually escape their abusive relationships.
When I escaped my abusive household around 3-5 years ago, I was asked how I did it, and I couldn't reply to the messages that told me 'I'm in the same situation, please help me'. I couldn't do it without worrying if they were as heavily monitored as I was when I was trapped. Any wrong message/word could set off a nuke. So, I made this instead.
I'll be drip-feeding finished pages to my Kofi members, but I plan on illustrating each floor with a double-spread page (so around 200 illustrated pages in total). The script/writing is nearly finished, so I'm posting this as a teaser. Thank you everyone for your continued support :') Love always finds a way.
#self help#guide#storybook#down the tower#ive been working on this in small increments since i ran away#life's been up and down but independently good#im lucky to have friends by my side that I can turn to#life would be a lot more complicated if I didn't have them
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guide to living tip i.



how to have a sweet little treat
a simple pleasure for some, a difficult delight for others.
i dedicate this tip to all you darlings who battle with nutritional "noise."
<3 rack your brain. are you actually hungry? or are other emotions clouding your natural signals? if the latter, decide whether said emotions are negative (ie. stress) or neutral (ie. a small desire for something delicious).
<3 eating a sweet treat will not ease your stress, and perhaps only amplify your restless emotional state. if you are anxious, take a rest. listen to music, read a book, watch a video, take a walk. remove yourself from the kitchen. find a treat in the form of self-care.
<3 eating a sweet treat will satisfy a craving, if you are in the correct state of mind. before exploring the pantry, mentally evaluate your yearning -- what do you actually want to eat? avoid overstimulation through intentional preparation.
<3 have you decided on your desire? calmly select and plate your treat. enjoy your snack outside of the kitchen. sit down. relax. sip a large glass of water.
<3 stay in place for a few minutes after you have finished eating. breathe. return your plate to the kitchen. exit. continue about your day.
you deserve all that is good in this world. and good things are best enjoyed in small doses. you have the power.
xx
c.r.c.
#self improvement#self help#positive mental attitude#new era#camille corrigan#guide to living#diary entry#online diary#it girl#that girl#girl blogger#girlblogging#tumblr girls#matcha#self care#success#poetry#matcha girl
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SHAPING YOUR ALTER EGO:EMBRACING YOUR HIDDEN STRENGTHS



Why an Alter Ego?
Adopting an alter ego offers you a creative pathway for personal growth, allowing you to explore and embody qualities you admire but have not yet dared to live out, effectively overcoming fears and expanding your sense of self. it serves as both a mental strategy for confronting your personal limitations and a practical tool for enhancing resilience, fostering a deeper connection with your potential, and encouraging the realization of an empowered identity.
Discovering Your Alter Ego
Reflect on Your Aspirations: Begin by deeply contemplating the qualities you find admirable in others-those traits you see and think, "I wish that were me." Ask yourself which of these qualities, if adopted, could significantly propel you toward your goals. Imagine the kind of person you would become if you embodied these traits.
Identify Your Challenges: Consider the obstacles that often stand in your way.An alter ego can be designed to navigate these with ease and confidence.
Crafting Her Identity
Name Her: Choose a name that resonates with the energy and essence of this new persona.
Define Her Traits: Is she bold? Creative? Unapologetically ambitious? Outline the characteristics that define her.
Visualize Her Style: How does she dress? How does she carry herself?Visualizing her can help solidify her presence in your mind.
Bringing Her to Life
Choose Her Moments: Identify specific situations where invoking your alter ego could be beneficial. Start small if it feels overwhelming
Act 'As If': Step into her shoes in these moments. Act 'as if you already possess her confidence and capabilities.
Reflect on Your Experiences: Afterward, take time to journal about the experience.What did you learn? How did it feel to see the world through her eyes?
Integrating Her Qualities into Your Life
Gradual Integration: The aim is not to constantly embody your alter ego, but to seamlessly incorporate its strengths into your daily life. It's about slowly blending the qualities of your alter ego with your own, enhancing your personality and capabilities over time.
Celebrate Growth: Recognize and celebrate each instance when you exhibit qualities of your alter ego. These moments mark significant progress in your journey, showing you're moving beyond your comfort zone and embracing personal development.
Your alter ego is more than a figment of your imagination; she's a testament to the unexplored depths of your potential. By inviting her into your life, you're not just pretending to be someone else; you're discovering the powerful, fearless you that's been there all along. Ready to meet her?
#glow up journey#glow up hacks#glow up guide#glow up tips#aesthetic#glow up#it girl#that girl#that girl aesthetic#that girl moodboard#it girl aesthetic#that girl outfit#becoming it girl#it girl moodboard#it girl guide#it girl outfit#that girl guide#becoming that girl#self care#self love#self improvement#self help#self healing#alter ago#becoming the best version of yourself#becoming her#study buddy#study techniques#studyabroad#n1pp guide
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40 Examples of Self Abandonment 🤕👎💭💔
Self-abandonment means not taking care of yourself, your needs, and your feelings. It's like ignoring what's good for you and not being kind to yourself normally in a way that benefits everyone but you.
Not eating well or exercising.
Pretending to be happy when you're not.
Working too much without breaks.
Staying in a bad relationship.
Letting people use you.
Forgetting about things you enjoy.
Not saying what you want.
Always doing things for others.
Not asking for help when you're sad or stressed.
Being alone when you need friends.
Saying mean things to yourself in your head.
Giving up your dreams for others.
Avoiding problems instead of solving them.
Never taking time to relax.
Ignoring how you look or feel.
Not asking for help when things are too hard.
Trying to be perfect all the time.
Doing things that hurt you, like drugs or danger.
Changing who you are to fit in.
Not being yourself and doing what others want.
Ignoring your body when it needs rest or sleep.
Letting others make decisions for you all the time.
Keeping your feelings bottled up inside.
Surrounding yourself with people who bring you down.
Not pursuing your interests or hobbies.
Saying "yes" to everything, even when you're overwhelmed.
Putting up with disrespect or mistreatment from others.
Not giving yourself credit for your accomplishments.
Skipping important appointments or check-ups.
Holding onto grudges and negative emotions.
Comparing yourself unfavorably to others.
Not taking breaks when you're stressed.
Neglecting your financial well-being and overspending.
Ignoring signs of burnout or exhaustion.
Avoiding seeking help for mental health struggles.
Ignoring your own intuition and gut feelings.
Overcommitting and spreading yourself too thin.
Constantly seeking validation from others.
Letting fear hold you back from trying new things.
Dwelling on past mistakes and not forgiving yourself.
#self improvement#self esteem#self worth#self help#self love#self care#personal improvement#personal growth#personal development#level up journey#dream girl tips#dream girl guide#dream girl journey#glow up tips#self confidence#love yourself first#inspirational words#wise words#motivationalquotes
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True sexiness is found in the subtlety of eye contact and the grace of slow, sensual movements. It's the way a gaze lingers just a moment longer, conveying depth and desire without a single word. It's in the fluid, deliberate gestures that exude confidence and allure, drawing attention without demanding it.
#quotes#quote#femininity#divine feminine#dream girl guide#feminine journey#inspiration#self love#classy women#classy woman#motivation#self care#self help#elegance#self improvement#personal improvement#personal development#personal growth#self awareness#self reflection#level up journey#self love journey#dream girl journey#dream girl tips#becoming that girl
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How To Support People
Sometimes, when someone is struggling, we default to giving or offering what support we would want in that specific situation. We don’t mean to, but it can cause harm to someone who we are trying to help.
So what can we do instead? I would ask people: “How can I support you?” But it was often too open-ended. My loved ones didn’t know what they needed.
Mental, emotional, and physical are support types that can be used to give personalized offers for support! Sometimes, people need specific offers of support, usually a mix of types.
Mental support could be:
Facts
Wisdom
Constructive feedback
Solutions
Advice
Solutions
Resources
Mentoring
Guidance
Pros and cons
Advocacy
Reminders
Logical steps
Planning
Some examples can look like: - “I complied resources for you” - “Let’s make a support plan together” - “When I was in a similar situation, I did…”
Emotional support could be:
Validation
Venting
Commiseration
Solidarity
Affirmation
Listening
Check-ins
Distraction
Space
Comfort
Praise
Motivation
AITA?
Some examples can look like: - “Tell me what’s bothering you” - “I think it’s reasonable that you feel this way” - “You got this!” - “Do you need space?”
Physical support could be:
Housework/chores
Physical touch
Mutual aid funds
Body doubling
Acts of service
Gifts
Flowers
Food
Cards
Transportation
Some examples can look like: - “I finished your to-do list for you” - “I made you your favorite dinner” - “Let’s do this together” - “Can I make a fundraiser for this?”
We all have various needs and capacities, but I hope we can all find creative solutions to help support each other. Keep caring.
#chronically couchbound#support#mutual aid#mutual aid networks#helping#caring#compassion#empathy#boundaries#self help#community care#aid#supporting others#supportive#how to guides#how to#guides#how to help#ways to help#fundraising#autistic#actually autistic#autism#neurodivergent#neurodiverse#neurodivergence#neurodiversity#neurodiverse stuff#neurospicy#audhd
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the real reason you’re stuck in summer situationships ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・☀️
some of you aren’t in “summer flings” — you’re in emotional limbo with a dress code. you’re stuck on the same merry-go-round because deep down, you still think maybe this one will be different.
news flash: it won’t.
you’re not stuck because you're unlucky. you're stuck because you’re settling for crumbs and calling it "fun."
step one: stop calling it “casual” when it’s actually confusing.
• if you’re anxious after you hang out • if you’re constantly guessing what they feel • if you’re scared to bring up the “what are we” talk — it’s not fun, it’s chaos
casual should feel light, easy, freeing — not like a job interview for basic respect.
step two: raise your minimum standard.
• basic communication is not a luxury • respect is not a “green flag” — it’s the floor • consistency is not "extra effort" — it’s standard
if someone’s making you beg for the bare minimum, you’re not dating — you’re degrading.
step three: stop confusing “barely trying” with “mysterious.”
they’re not deep. they’re not hard to read because they’re complex. they’re hard to read because they don’t care enough to be clear.
step four: don’t let loneliness make you loyal to disrespect.
• being bored isn’t an excuse to entertain confusion • attention isn’t affection • availability isn’t compatibility
you're not a holding pattern for people to circle until they find better plans.
step five: move like the person who’s already chosen.
• you don’t chase — you choose • you don’t beg — you belong • you don’t wonder — you know
when you start acting like the prize, the trash takes itself out.
summer is short. don’t waste it trying to make a “situationship” look like a relationship in the right lighting. if it costs you peace, it’s too expensive — even if it’s “fun.” ☀️
#girlblogging#girlhood#hell is a teenage girl#im just a girl#this is a girlblog#motivation#self help#self improvement#it girl energy#it girl#pink pilates princess#that girl#pinterest girl#vanilla girl#becoming that girl#becoming her#glow up#it girl aesthetic#dream girl#just girly posts#girly blog#wonyoungism#summer self improvement#high value habits#self love journey#it girl summer#glow up guide#dream girl summer#summer glow up#summer
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how to deal with stage fright ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
a non-basic comprehensive guide, by an easily-scared girlie
1. Before
don't eat too much. I get very scared and nervous before I have to do anything in front of a group of more than 3 people. I mean very scared. As in my stomach starts hurting. if you're like me, then eating a bit lighter beforehand can save you the stress when you stomach starts hurting (and the stress making you feel worse)
manifest success. close your eyes. imagine yourself finishing the thing that you've been so worried about. envision yourself doing the greatest job, and it will happen.
say "i'm excited". our brains are more powerful than you think (ha! get it? okay, that was lame). since fear/anxiety and excitement feel very similar, try to gaslight yourself into thinking that you're just very excited to do it.
2. During
set your mindset (again). before I perform, I try to remind myself the beginning of whatever I'm doing. for example, if I'm playing a piece, I will hum the first few measures, just so I remember. or the first few words of my speech. once you start, your body will know what to do!
pretend to slay. you know what? even if you mess up, nobody knows! nobody know the piece you're playing, or the song you're singing, or the speech you're giving. keep your head high and pretend that you've completely outdone yourself. once you believe that about yourself, other people will often follow.
stay in the moment. if you're anything like me, you may tend to think to the past or the future while you're performing. something like this: future: I'm going to mess up and say something totally embarrassing. past: last time I gave this speech in front of my Mom and I freaked out and forgot this part! future: you're going to forget it again. and that will be totally humiliating! instead, just keep telling yourself to stay where you are, in the present! you're just playing your song at the moment. you're just talking to other people at the moment. you're just sharing what you've learned. the past has gone by, and the future has its own worries.
3. After
don't freak out. what's done is done.
congratulate yourself. you did it! the hardest part of the process is over. you did an amazing job. showing up is enough. performing is enough. doing anything at all is enough, if not more than enough. you're a winner because you did it.
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。
a reminder to all the lovely people on the internet: it's completely normal to be scared. even my favorite pianist for many years, yuja wang, gets terrible stage fright before she performs. now, though, you'll be equipped with some tips on how to perform despite the fears that you have. I'm going to end off this post with one of my favorite quotes:
True courage is in facing danger when you are afraid.
-- L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz
thank you for reading all the way through, and wishing you a blessed rest of your day <3
sincerely yours, q's playlist
#qs playlist#dream girl#gaslight gatekeep girlblog#girlblog aesthetic#girlblogger#girlblogging#girly things#just a girlblog#live laugh girlblog#performance#stage fright#guide#self help#self improvement#it girl#that girl#confident#studyblr#studying#productivity#study tips#q's playlist
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My wife has insisted that, in the interests of "broadening my audience," I should engage in self-promotion on the internet. I find the entire concept distasteful, but Ava's powers of persuasion border on the supernatural. She performs a sort of hypnotizing motion, side to side, with her entire body, and I find myself powerless to resist her. There is an ocular component as well, "puppy dog eyes" is the common term. The techniques in conjunction should be illegal. But I digress.
Below, I have provided a link to my Practical Guide to Getting Out of the Friend Zone, wherein I have both described and illustrated via real-world application the methods by which a sapphic individual might successfully court someone who considers them a "friend." With the guidance set forth therein, you need never again pine ineffectually over your best friend. Love and happiness await.
#ava has informed me that i should provide searchable terms or commentary here#avatrice#apparently#is the name that people#why is it doing that#how am i supposed to write without commas#is this hell#ava silva#come back here#a practical guide to getting out of the friend zone#by Beatrice Adeline Silva#a comedy#ava it is not a comedy#this is an admixture of college memoir and self-help
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I want to give a late thank you for posting Fragments on Webtoon. I always loved seeing when you posted pages, but Tumblr has never been a platform I find easy to follow comics on. It is so much easier to appreciate and read through when it is contained in one place. Posting to multiple platforms is not fun, so thank you for the extra work. I love the characterization and the way you draw everyone. It is so easy to tell what a labor of love this whole project is. I also love the way you're not afraid to make characters look silly and make weird faces. It really adds charm and expressiveness to everything.
This's exactly the reason I post on webtoon, so that people who find me on socmed have a comfy way to read the whole thing. Ideally I'd love to make an own website eventually where you'd find the comic, art, random facts, everything in one place, although it's something not easily done when you've 0 points in that skilltree and little free time. But eventually- *shakes fist*
Also thank you for the kind words~

#replies#i can hear the typing of people who like being helpful and guiding to website-making resources and i gently put a hand on your hands#i knowwwwwww i'm an oldschool user capable of self-teaching and i know where to find stuff#just got no spoons for it currently#and no one i'd trust in making a good site for me. and a bad site that makes a bad first impression is worse than no site at all.#uh sorry for the tangent where'd this come from
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