#Self image

[thecountess]

It's truly remarkable. I shapeshifted so much in order to become someone society embraces, that I have difficulty pinpointing which part of ME is actually MINE.

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[just-a-blog-for-polls]

Edit: sensory issues can be counted under "otherwise medically unable to" if you feel that to be appropriate

[succulentsiren]

Get over the fear of being seen.

Stop caring about how you’re gonna be perceived. Stop doubting yourself. Stop aiming to be perfect. Stop ruminating.

Accept who you are. Hype yourself. Invest in yourself. Be audacious. Trust in the greater outcome. Allow yourself to be seen as you are.

[crystaltoa]

I’m having a Bad Brain Week (month?) so it’s been really amazing seeing the responses on the ADHD teapot post. People are saying it’s helped them conceptualise/explain executive function and dysfunction, which is what I’d hoped for, as well as people expanding on the teapot metaphor to include things like medication and comorbid conditions.

But I was taken aback by people telling me they think that the teapot is beautiful. The rough, lumpy misshapen thing with gaudy colours and a lid that doesn’t quite fit.

The thing I worried people would make fun of if they saw it.

The thing I wished I could remake into something more conventionally aesthetically pleasing.

The thing I wanted to share despite being kind of embarrassed and self-conscious about.

….The thing that represents my brain? Represents an aspect of myself I find very hard to like?

Beautiful?

…I think it might very well be the nicest compliment I have ever received.

Thank you.

[milkoomi]

⋆˚࿔ a new canvas means a new you 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

a mini series on the art of becoming a better you

previous chapter

chapter two — THE ART OF SELF CONFIDENCE

i’ve touched on this topic before, but i wanted to do more of an in-depth deep dive into it! self confidence isn’t just about how you feel about your physical self, but it’s also about how you feel about your mental and emotional self; how you feel about your soul and the aura that surrounds you. self confidence can start at your physical self, like your looks, your style, etc. but reaching a true, deeper meaning of having confidence you have to dig deeper into your mind, heart, and soul.

references on self confidence:

“a guide to building confidence” - by me!

“study yourself to become confident” - thewizardliz

“the ultimate guide to becoming confident” - alessya farrugia

“rewiring your subconscious: guide to becoming your dreamiest self” - @glowettee

“building confidence” - @goddessinnerglow

ᥫ᭡. different types of confidence

in alessya farrguia’s youtube video, she discusses the 3 different types of self confidence: physical, social, and authentic confidence. i highly recommend watching her video! she makes really phenomenal points in her discussion!

i’d like to highlight some key points she made in her video:

physical confidence: “stop comparing your behind the scenes to everyone else’s highlights.”

social confidence: “confidence isn’t thinking ‘i know someone will like me’, it’s ‘i know it won’t bother me if they don’t’.”

authentic confidence: “true confidence means trusting yourself”

but i’d like to add mental & emotional confidence. the mentality that you have and how you feel about yourself plays a huge role in self confidence. having a mindset that makes you feel secure and having emotions toward yourself that are positive will help you become more confident. it also helps, immensely, to be in a headspace that makes you feel comfortable being you, that brings you joy, and that brings you peace. being able to have a good relationship with your own emotions can uplift you!

mental confidence:

destress & decompress — when your mind is weighed down by stress, you start to feel overwhelmed. that overwhelming feeling can cause your mind to break down and make you think that you won’t be capable of recovering from that stress. it’s important to manage your stress and remind yourself that you are capable of overcoming anything that’s causing you those feelings! stress is one of those things that make you feel like everything is impossible, but that’s only a feeling. it’s like having a bad dream, while you’re experiencing that dream it might feel too real and sometimes it may even be scary, but then you wake up and you realize that you’re safe. think of stress as just a bad dream, the feeling is only ever temporary and as soon as you manage it/overcome it you’ll be safe again. and, as a bonus, once you overcome that stress, you feel more secure within yourself and you’re reminded that, yes, everything is going to be okay and you are more than capable of overcoming those feelings!

practice mindfulness within yourself — “mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgement.” with that being said, practice paying attention to yourself without any judgement. focus on how you’re feeling, what your current thoughts are; focus on you without judging yourself. learn to accept yourself as you are within that present moment and try to steer away from making quick, negative judgements about yourself. yes, you can judge yourself, but do so in a way that’s productive! judge your mental and emotional state, are you in a headspace that is ideal to you? judge your health, do you feel like there needs to be any changes in your lifestyle, diet, or activity level to better your body in a healthy manner? judge yourself, is there anything about yourself that you still need to work on or are there characteristics of yourself that you take pride in?

emotional confidence:

emotional intelligence — this is key to gaining emotional confidence. i recommend this video by The Glow Up Secrets Podcast on youtube! the host brings up so many wonderful and insightful points on becoming emotionally intelligent! being able to self-regulate and to understand exactly what you’re feeling can help you gain confidence in yourself. people will always pride themselves in their intelligence, so let being emotionally intelligent be the intelligence you pride yourself in!

ᥫ᭡. self-acceptance

people have this idea that self-acceptance is just settling for who you are, and well, that’s not really the case— at least in my eyes. learning to accept yourself as you are now will make it easier for you in your self improvement journey. we all want to become the “it-girl/person”, but a lot of us will look for quick fixes or even go towards trying unhealthy habits. allowing yourself to accept who you are right in this moment can be a first step towards becoming the person you strive to be.

accept your insecurities. accept your failures. accept your body as it is right now. accept your faults. then take all of that acceptance and turn it into a learning experience for yourself. learn that your insecurities only become insecurities because of that negative self-talk. learn that you cannot grow without any failures. learn what exactly it is that your body needs to become healthier and better for yourself.

accept yourself, then learn from yourself.

ᥫ᭡. manifestations & affirmations

we can make our dream selves become the reality. there’s so many amazing posts here on tumblr about manifesting, so go look into them! if we believe it, we can have it. you have to believe that you have confidence. you have to affirm yourself that you are confident. people, myself included, talk about “faking it til you make it”, but when you really think about it, the more you repeat these manifestations and affirmations the more it starts to feel true and real to yourself.

this also ties into positive self-talk. we have to speak to ourselves kindly, we have to uplift ourselves in a world that brings us down. talk to yourself with grace, gratitude, and genuine appreciation. you have gotten yourself through countless hardships. sure, there were probably people who helped you out on the way, but at the end of it, it was mostly your own doing that got you to a better place. so appreciate and love that about yourself!

grab a journal and write down all your manifestations and affirmations daily. writing it all down is like setting it in stone. be consistent, and soon enough all that you want for yourself— including self confidence— will come into fruition.

ᥫ᭡. take pride

think of it this way: no one can be you. people can try to imitate you, but they can never truly be you. take pride in how you look because no one has features like yours, take pride in your work because no one worked the way you did, take pride in your accomplishments because no one worked in the same way that you did to achieve those things; take pride in yourself. as cheesy and cliché as it all sounds, there’s literally no one else who is like you.

ᥫ᭡. find a deeper understanding for yourself

this point is heavily inspired by thewizardliz’s video “study yourself to become confident” (linked in the beginning of the chapter). i just want to reiterate her points and expand on them a little bit! her beginning statement includes: “once you know who you are, no one can tell you anything”.

i feel like we all understand ourselves to a certain degree. but understanding yourself on a deeper, more personal level will allow you to truly feel confident. in her video, liz talks about understanding and even studying ourselves to understand what we like/dislike, what we accept/don’t accept, etc. and i genuinely feel like she brings up a really great point in doing so!

we, as humans, feel like we know what we want for ourselves rather than actually knowing what we want for ourselves. we feel like certain people bring us joy, we feel like certain hobbies make us happy, we feel like we understand ourselves. but, in reality, most times we don’t actually know those things about ourselves.

people we surround ourselves with

we think that certain friends/partners bring us joy because we’re taught, sometimes unintentionally, to allow people to make us feel like we have to conform to them and their wants and needs. we don’t know that some of these people in our lives might actually be bringing us and our confidence down.

hobbies people partake in

we think that doing certain things, like drinking or hook-up culture, make us feel happy or satisfied with ourselves. but we don’t know or we’re not aware of how those hobbies, or even habits, might be destroying us physically, mentally, and even emotionally.

behaviors we accept

we think that if we accept certain behaviors that we’ll get more people to like us or get brownie points with a specific person, but we don’t know that accepting bad/poor behavior diminishes our strength and respect for ourself.

this all takes us back to chapter one: THE ART OF LETTING GO. the toxic people we surround ourselves with unknowingly, the hobbies we take part in unknowingly, the behaviors we accept unknowingly; that all needs to be let go of!

we have to truly understand ourselves and truly know exactly what we want for ourselves to gain the confidence we long for. without knowing yourself, you won’t understand how to find and feel genuine self confidence.

ᥫ᭡. final notes

at a certain point, confidence should feel like it comes naturally, but to even get to that point there’s a lot of work that needs to be put into ourselves. especially when a lot of us start off with almost no confidence at all, it can be extremely challenging to even wake up in the morning and think, “i can do this”. you have to be willing to put in the work for yourself. you have to be willing to have patience with yourself. you have to be willing to advocate for yourself. you have to be willing to do all of this for you, and you alone. you can be confident— and confidence will come to you! you’re more than capable of doing so, babe. believe in yourself like you would believe in someone you love and care for.

with lots of love, juno 🌷

[spoonful116]

The most punk thing you can do as a disabled person is love and value yourself and not push yourself past your limits for the sake of other's approval

[huellitaa]

genuine confidence vs fake confidence ⊹˚. 👛💬🐧

there is an individual meaning to everything. confidence is one of those things that is so commonly misinterpreted as something painfully contrasting to its actual meaning, and so it is my job to enlighten you guys! and teach what the meaning of true, real confidence, truly, really, is, and how to embody it ♡ 💬🐧🩷

──★ ˙ ̟💭👛 confidence

the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 I. WHAT IS GENUINE CONFIDENCE?

a genuinely confident person...

does not feel the need to broadcast their winnings and achievements. they know that they mean something and they don't need the approval of another to prove that.

does not need the approval of another, full stop. whether its to do something, say something, whatever. sure, maybe they'll ask for it here and there, but they dont need it. they can just as easily do it themselves. its an addition, not a necessity.

can take constructive criticism, because they know themselves and their self image and ego isnt so fragile that they cant handle the slightest bit of prodding and poking at it here and there to mold it into something better. they know its for the best.

can accept their flaws, because they trust and rely on themselves enough to know that it doesn't define them and that they can accept and work on those flaws and mistakes.

knowing change is for the better, no matter what. if you genuinely can rely on yourself, then you will know that no matter what, you will always come out okay, because you have faith in yourself. any change that undergoes your life is always for the best because you have faith in yourself and your life.

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 II. WHAT IS FAKE CONFIDENCE?

incessant bragging. as someone with a good amount of confidence in themselves, i LOVE to brag every so often, but constantly talking about it? no.

exaggerating your wins. a truly confident person knows that they win enough to not need exaggeration.

lying about your achievements. if you're confident in yourself, you are confident in your life and your pride and your achievements, so you'd have no reason to lie.

being overly defensive when challenged. cuz why are you so desperate to defend yourself if you're confident that you're right?

inability to admit your own mistakes. this is soo widespread and it bothers me so badly because confident people understand their own mind and know how to control it, which means they also know that mistakes are vital in life, no matter how big or how small.

putting others down to lift yourself up. ew ew ew ew ew all over. a genuinely confident person knows their own worth isn't more than another's.

⊹˚. 🧸 "fake it till you make it" – true or false?

i see many conflicting opinions on whether or not faking confidence can be detrimental to you and / or others or not. honestly, i believe things like this always depend on the person, but i do overall believe in the "fake it till you make it" to an extent. too much of anything is bad for you, and this is just one of those things that you need to be careful with if you tend to get carried away easily.

— not overtly bad, but should not be your only solution! 💬🐈‍⬛️

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 III. HOW TO OBTAIN GENUINE CONFIDENCE?

⊹˚. 💬🧁 1. "faith"

to have faith in something is to have complete trust in that thing. and how is trust built? through experience. think about it. you dont trust something unless you have reason to. why would you have faith in yourself if you have no reason to?

make a sort of portfolio of all the things you can remember that you've done in your life that are worthy of your trust and respect. think of how you'd react if someone else that you love did it. would you trust them for it? apply that to yourself.

🎀🗒 note: this is a method used in many of tam kaur's videos on youtube! i rly recommend her if ur looking 4 confidence.

⊹˚. 🐈‍⬛️💭 2. "rely"

linking back to my former point, to rely on something takes trust and faith. with your newfound knowledge and experience of trust in yourself, you're gonna have to take a leap of faith and trust in your own ability to adapt and survive through ANYTHING. you can withstand everything that is thrown at you. you just need to begin believing that.

⊹˚. 🎀🐧 3. "belief"

your brain does not know reality from what you tell it. this is the very base of so many different mindset shifting techniques and self improvement tactics and such. you literally have to indoctrinate yourself with the belief that you are confident and secure in yourself in a variety of different ways. this can be done through... ♡

♡ make it clear what you want to be confident in, whether its all encompassing or specific

♡ affirmations if thats what ur into

♡ constant saturation & repetition (every day, until you believe it)

♡ create reasons for your belief in your own confidence

♡ go out and create reasons to be confident in yourself

♡ seek out information that aligns with your confidence building (this could be articles, therapy, courses, videos, blog posts like mine; anything that helps YOU)

⊹˚. 💭🎼 4. effect vs goal

confidence is an effect, not a goal.

it is not a sole ideal or ambition you work towards, it is a byproduct of the process of healing as a whole.

what i mean is that you will never obtain genuine confidence if you do not begin to go through the process of healing yourself to begin with, because confidence is a byproduct of this. the security you find in yourself then produces confidence on its own. DO THE WORK.

⊹˚. 👛🧁 5. acting on it

i have been shy and quiet ever since i got into NURSERY (kindergarten for u american folk). i am now one of the most confident people i know. and despite having done all of the previous steps, none of them would have mattered IF I DIDNT PUT IT INTO ACTION.

the most important step you can possibly take to obtain genuine confidence is actually doing the thing. DO THE THING. wear the thing you're scared to wear, do the thing you have no one to go with, go outside alone on spontaneous adventures despite your fear of other peoples opinions and whatever else might be hindering you. DO THE THING. life is nothing if not a risk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♡

wishing you all the love and light in the world... ♡

all my love! 🎀💬🐈‍⬛️🫶🏻🩷

[stutterhug]

Double bind

[incognitopolls]

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[succulentsiren]

Stop being so easily intimidated. When their heads turn to look at you, own the moment and feel totally empowered. Drop the negative self-talk. Own the ability to make head’s turn, eyes shift and people stand at attention when you enter the room. It’s time to allow your presence to be spellbinding.

[tumbler-polls]

[spiritualseeker777]

[glowupwithamy]

A Mini Guide For : How To level Up Your Confidence

1. Reframe Your Fails into Fuel - Instead of letting setbacks crush you view them as training moments. Everyone messes up but confident people use those experiences to learn and improve. Next time you face a challenge tell yourself "This is an opportunity to grow" and watch your confidence soar.

Celebrate Your Strengths - Don't wait for someone else to pat you on the back. Recognize and appreciate your own talents and accomplishments. Make a list of things you're good at big or small and revisit it whenever self doubt creeps in. Remind yourself - I am awesome at speaking and doing conversations and that's something to be proud of!

Fake It Til You Make It "in the Right Way" - This one gets a bad rap but here's the key don't pretend to be someone you're not. Instead act confident even if you don't feel it completely. Stand tall, make eye contact, and speak clearly. This outward projection can trick your brain into feeling more confident and over time it can become genuine

Compete Against Yourself, Not Others - Ditch the comparisons! Social media and societal pressures can make us feel like we're constantly falling short. But true confidence comes from focusing on your own journey, not someone else's highlight reel.Track your progress and celebrate how far you've come and set goals that challenge you to be a better version of yourself.

Focus on "what you can control," not the rest: Can't control others' opinions? Let it go. Focus on your strengths and actions and how you want to show up in the world Be your own boss.

Be patient with yourself and know your self more so that you can know in what areas you need to develop more , Message me if you guys want that sheet to know about yourself more 🥰

[huellitaa]

౨ৎ ⋆｡• vogue beauty secrets 🐰 ๋࣭ ⭑

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ hair

don't wash your hair every day! i think everybody knows this but i know a couple people who still dont wash their hair only 2-3 times a week. obviously it depends on ur hair type but only wash your hair when it needs it!

don't wash your hair with scalding hot water either. its not only bad for your body and face but its also bad for your hair as it ruins the natural oils and damages cells etc

if you have frizzy or easily knotted hair i recommend keeping a comb on hand in the shower and using it to detangle before putting in any products

i've been emulsifying my shampoo for only a couple of weeks but my hair is sooo much fluffier afterwards so i definitely recommend that!!

now i'm torn on this one but apparently shampooing twice is better for your hair than doing it once? i tried it one time and it did not end well for my hair type but i know it works for a lot of people so if you wanna give it a try then go for it ♡

i squeeze excess water out of my hair before i put in my conditioner so i can completely get it in there without

also change your pillow case often! this is for your face too, as the oils will build up and thats not good for ur hair or face. i change it once a week but 2x a week is good too if you're able 💓

don't go to bed with wet hair. stop doing that. its super bad for your hair and keeping it pretty & fluffy & cute

airdrying is my holy grail, been doing it since i was little and dont regret a thing. its a billion times better than blow drying & makes ur hair so fluffy too ♡

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ body

DO NOT. HAVE. THE WATER. BOILING HOT. i am guilty of this and have been for years but it has such a bad impact and you shouldnt do it! cold showers are better but i prefer warm showers so theres a middle ground (& its always cold in england, so id freeze to death.)

using body lotion after the shower has been such a game changer for me its incredible. makes you smell nice, feel nice, look nice, and its so relaxing and i feel like a princess after i do it <3

exfoliating is really important if your aim is for soft skin 💓 i have been doing it for months and as somebody with super rough skin its SO soft now

partake in some form of exercise. i hated hated hated sports and exercise when i was younger but i did do dance up until i was eleven and have been doing pilates consistently for months now, and my mindset towards it has changed drastically over the years to finally a healthy one. it can be a difficult thing to get into but make it something you enjoy. it doesn't have to be sports. ill make a post on this soon but it can be pilates, kpop dances, running, hot girl walks, anything! and most importantly, do it for mental health and physical health, not losing weight.

make sure you're eating properly. remember that 1400 to 2400 calories of nutritious substance is the MINIMUM. this of course depends on many variables including, weight, height, BMR, what it is your eating, et cetera. your body is so important & is there to be nourished and not neglected !!! ♡ (💭🎀edit: updated info on calories and nutrition from a lovely anon i received a message from this morning! ♡)

change your bedsheets every week if you wanna smell good, this is so important bc sweat and odour will build up if u dont and thats icky and wont make u smell good & probably isnt the best for your skin either!

i also put two similar body washes on in the shower that i get SO many compliments on & its really helpful if one of your priorities is smelling good

dont just wash body wash straight off, let it sit for a few moments so the scent can actually sink into ur skin

🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ face

skincare every morning & every night. if ur tired or just not feeling it today then simplify it, just make sure you never leave it out because its super important! no. skipping. no work = no reward.

on this note, try not to have a too complicated skincare routine, as this can backfire and make ur skin worse than before. your skin isnt meant for 18 different products and 200 chemicals every morning!

never wash your face with hot water... this is also a given but just in case... it strips your skin of its natural oils and does more harm than good

stop touching ur face... just for those who need a little reminder

make sure ur sleeping enough. seriously disney princess movies meant it when they talked ab beauty sleep; it seriously makes a difference, so please try make this a priority, especially if you already have dark circles like myself! (like girl did you see aurora's face? my girl's skin was so clear i could see my reflection)

pay attention to what makes ur face puffy or irritated or makes you get break outs. i keep a little break out log in my skincare page in my journal (little teaser for an upcoming post 🤭) and this has helped me go over what helps or hurts my skin! i recommend this especially if ur prone to acne or breakouts 💖

cold spoons in the morning to depuff your eyes; ive only been doing this a handful of times but im making it a habit seeing as it really helps! (as someone who can get vv puffy eyes 😭)

hydration is so important, for everything in this list, but most of all (from my experience) your face! i drink A Lot of water every day. probably a bit too much. but its so worth it, my skin has been absolutely amazing ever since i started actually making hydration a priority. (and this is coming from a girl who didnt touch a drop of water when she was younger & had to go hospital for dehydration several times.)

i'd recommend scrubbing ur lips too in the morning when you brush your teeth, i saw this on pinterest aaages ago bc i had super dry lips and i do it every morning & every night RELIGIOUSLY. its so so good and i definitely recommend

i have super dry lips in the morning so lip balm in the mornings w my skincare is absolutely essential for me

i also put perfume behind my ears & on my neck so its the first thing people smell when they hug me! im a very touchy person and i love hugs and i love showing love to people so this is essential for me but its optional, just makes you smell good ♡

[thedeluxedoll]