#Thanks so much for the continued support and the patience my dudes~

[ellecdc]

Dude since like you would continue writing poly moonwaterkiller. Idk if you okay with it, but do you mind writing poly moonwaterkiller x sick reader. I mean, we know barty is so fucking wild. Would love to see barty doing anything for reader to make her happy, but moonwater get stress cos "no barty! she shouldn't be outside rn! She's sick!" And Barty be like "but she looks happy out hereee!!!"

Something like that, thank you! And love you both

thanks so much for your request (and your patience in me writing this for you a few months later 😅). I knew I loved the idea; just needed to wait for the right moment to write it!!

poly!moonwaterkiller x sick!reader who Barty is taking very good care of thank you very much

CW: fem!reader is poorly, Barty calls Pandora peculiar [affectionately], disgusting amount of fluff

“Dovey!” Remus exclaimed as he spotted you sitting on the stone floor of a small balcony on the side of Gryffindor tower. “What are you doing out here!?”

It had officially been about a week of this gods-awful flu that was wreaking havoc on your immune system (and more importantly, your lungs) to which Madame Pomfrey prescribed healing draughts, lots of water, and rest.

And this, Remus felt, was decidedly not rest. 

He and Regulus rushed to crouch beside your hunched over form to see that your eyes were closed as you pointed your face towards the sky. 

“Hi boys.” You offered weakly, still never opening your eyes to greet them.

“Amour, what are you doing out here?” Regulus repeated, placing the back of his hand against your temple and grimacing at the heat radiating from it. 

“Getting some sun.” You explained simply. “Haven’t been outside in ages.”

And while Remus knew that to be technically true, he also knew there had been a reason for that. 

“Dovey, it’s barely spring and it’s far too cold for you to be out here; besides, it’s mostly cloudy.” He explained, wondering how in the hell you found the energy to move yourself from Remus’ bed all the way out here when you seemed completely incapable of even opening your eyes. 

And where the hell was Junior!?

“Exactly; mostly cloudy.” Barty’s voice chimed in as he stepped out onto the balcony to join the three of them with a cup of tea in one hand and a bowl of soup in the other.

“Junior, what in Salazar’s name do you think you’re doing?” Regulus hissed at him as he placed the bowl on the ground in front of you. 

“Taking care of our girl.” He hissed back at him before softening as he turned to look at you. 

“Hey Treasure, still doing okay?” He asked softly, pushing a lock of hair behind your ear. 

You hummed in acknowledgment. 

“I brought some tea with lots of honey.” He explained as he placed the cup in your hands.

That, Remus noticed bitterly, enticed you to open your eyes. 

“Thank you.” You cooed, though the sentiment was sort of lost in the coughing fit that it elicited. 

“Junior, it’s too cold outside; she needs to be in bed.” Remus sighed disappointedly.

Disappointed that he had to play the bad cop, and disappointed because this looked like a really nice way to spend the afternoon. 

If you were tired of being sick, Remus was tired of watching you feel so poorly and not being able to do anything to fix it. 

“I cannot believe you think me daft enough to leave her to the elements, Lupin.” Barty sneered as he resituated the blanket that had begun to slide off your shoulder. “She has four layers on and a heating charm surrounding her, Evans had some muggle fever reducers that I gave her just before I went to the kitchens, and vitamin D is supposed to support healthy immune system function. So suck my dick; the both of you.”

“Okay.” Remus offered quickly at the same time Regulus let out a tiresome “Barty”. 

“You feel better already, don’t you baby?” He cooed as he sat beside you and pressed a kiss to your overly hot temple.

You hummed in the affirmative again. 

“Okay, but where are her shoes?” Remus continued, noting the way you were sitting with your knees up to your chest and the soles of your feet pressed firmly into the stone beneath you.

Barty seemed to turn a bit bashful at that before quickly schooling his expression. “It’s quite simple, really. Pandora suggested that she ought to try grounding.”

Though his tone was haughty, he turned bashful again when he received no response from either of his boyfriends.

“Said it would be good for her…chakras or her aura or…I don’t know! Alright!? I don’t know; but Salazar’s saggy balls, she’s been so sick for so long and I just wanted her to feel better. So yeah, I listened to Peculiar Pandora, okay? Sue me.” 

Barty hardly had a moment to pout before Remus was wrestling the Slytherin into his lap as Regulus cooed at him.

“Barty’s going soft.” Regulus taunted lovingly.

“I will literally bite your fucking head off, Black; try me.”

“You’re just soft for our girl, hm?” Remus purred into Barty’s ear, relishing in the way the notoriously tense boy melted for him.

Barty made a harrumphing sound half way between reluctant admittance and a whine. 

“Be nice to him.” You admonished quietly; opening one eye at Remus and Barty as you leaned into Regulus’ side who had moved to sit beside you in Barty’s place. 

“He is being nice.” Regulus defended quickly.

“I’m always nice.” Remus added. “I’m alway nice to you, aren’t I?” He continued as he looked down at Barty, currently curled up in his lap. 

“You’re mean.” Barty pouted.

“Come now.”

“Horrid.”

“Yeah?”

“Just awful.”

Remus beamed down at the petulant boy before nuzzling his face into his neck.

“You love it.” He accused.

Barty was quiet for a moment as he drew circles on the back of Remus’ hand. “Maybe.”

Remus was very thankful that Barty was such a clever person, because sitting out here with his three loves on this semi-lovely Scottish spring day felt an awful lot like Remus’ own little personal heaven.

[remedyturtles]

DAMN. Just finished chapter 17 of Firefight and whooh. I cannot articulate how excited and thrilled I am for this new direction. I love your Death Wish fic and i'll be absolutely damned if I don't continue to love this one with just as much, if not more, fervor. You're an incredible writer. You immerse me in the environments, the sensations, the inner workings, and the emotions of these characters while your words seep both their souls and yours. I really just wanted to tell you how enjoyed your writing is. I look forward to each update with patience and support, and if you chose to end it, life got in the way, or any other reason, I would continue to support you as a writer and artist while repeatedly reading your works. Death Wish is the length of a decent novel and I've reread it about 4 times, each experience unique and loved because there's always something new and poignant to find in your writing. There's so much love and intent in your work, and it's so greatly appreciated. You're my favorite fic writer, thank you for all that you do. Keep doing what you love!!

waghs at you quietly. dude thank you so much you are far too kind to me aaaaaaaa

i have still a LOT of firefight to go!!!! there’s gonna be a planned hiatus in april as i am going away but i have never once abandoned a story and i won’t start now LMAO

[bartholomewillustrated]

Unlike last year I don't really know what to Say about 2022..

In 2021 my creative drive started up again (everyone say Thank You Karl) but in 2022 I.. it.. well I didn't Loose it, I can still feel it (muted perhaps but burning hot as ever) but like.. everything Around it ran out of the energy needed to keep it going.. like.. i'm exhausted. I've been burned to a crisp and the world still keeps trying to light me to roast a whole chicken over. It's tough.

Still; I'm making more than I have previously, I have enough to fill one of these up! But it's slow going. It takes weeks to months to finish everything and nothing comes out as quick or as clean as i'd hope.. (except Lazarus, while it was a Battle, i'm still beyond thrilled with his character sheets, steuggling to believe that was Also This Year)

and truly the reason i've been able to finish anything at all much of the time is dependent on just How Much of my output this year was Made For Other People. I may be in a personal down swing with my art going into 2023 but the consistent positive reaction from my followers and the patience to wait between every far-between peice has been astounding.

Especially the patience of my commissioners. Your happiness with the end result and willingness to just Wait despit the Catastrophic time frames has really kept me afloat. I am not a fast artist at the best of times and this year was Really not the best of times. But there was a month or two were i literally Could Not Have Made Rent Or Bought Groceries Without You.

So thank you.

Thank you to Everyone for finding me and sticking around all this year too, for continuing to find me and share my work and interact with my Nasty Little Guys.. and supporting me in spirit and and material, ya'll are an amazing audience, 😭

Things have started to Level Out in the meatspace, I have a steady full time real-person job that I actual enjoy quiet a bit. It covers the bills and that's a Tremendous weight off the old shoulders...

and while that does mean I don't have days and hours and weeks of time to just Draw like i did in lockdown 2021 I think I can get a good rythmn going, and at least get things out on a better timescale in 2023.

I'm hopeful anyway.

I'm also hoping I can get back to drawing Laz in 2023 I haven't been able to do Shit with him since fucking JUNE and i Miss my Boy!!!!! I miss him!!!! And I have a bunch of other Nasty Little Dudes I wanna draw now too!!!!

-ratteling the bars of my cage- Lemme introduce Bartholomews Nasty Gentleman's Club!!! Free Meeeeeee!!!!!

Anyway,

Happy New Year everyone, may 2023 treat you with kindness and gentility, as much as you deserve, and may you treat yourself in equal measure in this year and ever onwards

Much love,

Bartholomew~

[tiredassmage]

I continue to love Tyr SO MUCH every time I read more about him. Just think he deserves some appreciation in ~the ask box~ and maybe a break. He sounds like he needs a break.

(Tbh he and my cipher agent Five sound like they’re in a very similar boat of “can we catch a fucking breather please?” “No” “okay thanks”) and love that for them

;_; I HAVE NO WORDS. MY ENDLESS APPRECIATION BACK TO YOU. Jkahdjdjfufjfkf. This literally means the world to me and let me also just say, you in my asks is always an absolute treat, I cannot thank you enough.

I really, really do love him, so like... unfortunately for him, he's suffering from my infamous main obsession syndrome and that means I also spend lots of time on his problems jsjdjdkfkf. He really could absolutely use a break. WHY isn't this man retired, honestly? Get out of the game, Nine. You lived. You literally evicted the Sith Emperor. Find a nice, remote planet and just fuck off, dude, take your husband with you. You deserve it, bestie!! (I give him maybe two weeks, tops, before he'd lose his patience. Someone tell him how to turn off all those spy instincts and that nasty sense of responsibility to see the conflict to its end because he can't help but feel he has to do something, knowing what he does of the Empire. Seriously. Tell him to stop. He worries me sometimes. Don’t you dare self-destruct like that, you dumb bastard. I’m watching you, Tyr.)

Imperial Agent support club tbh. They've done enough, damn it. 😔🤣 I probably owe them drinks, if Five would also like. xD

Okay, Tyr appreciation without me babbling off about him because while we’re here. I love playing pixel dress up with this man, so like, favorite ‘fits time!!!!

This is still my favorite look for him, I think. He’d never confess, but ‘the Red Blade’ is still probably one of his favorite covers and returning to a level of that persona on Rishi was way more fun than it had any right being.

It’d also be remiss of me to not mention his absolute classic(tm) - this eventually served primarily as a cold weather ‘fit, but was one of the earliest sets I acquired for him, so it’s one of the default outfits/color schemes I imagine him in.

I would say he has the most outfit slots unlocked of all my toons so far, but I think Lensan’s starting to give him a run for his credits, if he hasn’t already won. Tyr was really like... my descent into outfitter madness. The beginning. The first time I finally grasped the absolute potential of giving them different outfits for different occasions. It’s all been downhill from there, man. What do I play games for - and especially their money markets - if not to play pixel dress up, tbh? (Lensan has an absolutely outrageous amount of blasters I keep in his inventory for the sole purpose of stamping them to outfitter slots, it’s kinda hilarious.)

Also kudos to him for being the only character I have that hasn’t snatched a 2nd combat style bc I may have no idea if I’m doing half of it right, but you can pry Operative out of my cold, dead hands. Superior solo experience. It has stealth. It has a combat roll (that I miss when I play literally every other game, ngl, I’ve been corrupted). Solid single target output for my purposes of story content. I picked it up as a second for Len simply to make Section X dailies less a pain in the ass and I haven’t swapped back to Merc for him in ages, oops. >.>

I also need to go off about him and Shara one day because this bitch STILL probably hasn’t processed his feelings about how all of that went down and, honestly, Tyr, please. C’mon. I’m still judging him for how he tried to convince himself Nathema and Umbara and all of that was just like. Not an issue he needed to talk about. He was fine. Obviously. Theron was back!!! Alive!!! End of story, right???!!!! No!!! Absolutely not!!!! Shakes him by the shoulders, stop repressing your own feelings, you know you can talk to Theron!!!

Idiot. I love him. I love this man so much. I want to spin him around like a Rubix Cube.

[shelfstock]

It’s that time again! Not only is it the first day of fall season, but it’s time to reintroduce Shelf Stock tx. What started as a sticker and pin shop, is now a full blown stationery shop! Ladies and Gentlemen; dudes and dudettes… My name is Kimberly, I’m an official Digital Media Designer/ a Stationery Designer, and I'm the proud owner of The Shelf Stock Shop home based out of Combes, TX. I provide mostly In - House/ handmade products such as Spirals, stitched/ book bind journals, button badge pins, recycled products, bookmarks, punch needle coasters for that much needed coffee cup drink, and so on. Yep, IT’S ALL STATIONERY! I’ve been a busy gal. Not only dealing with inventory for the shop, but I actually have clients and sponsors I work along with . I’ve also picked up a gig of being a ghost writer/illustrator. SO much fun yet thrilled to see my mini talents out there! And I’m also honored to work alongside Infiniti on his special project. Whew! I've mentioned before that I have goals and dreams for this shop. I may not be as well known on social media sites, but my goodness… I never expected the “word of mouth type” business to be as successful as it has been; it’s truly a blessing. If you don’t hear from me as much on social media, it’s mostly because I am busy. I run, manage, and maintain the shop on my own, granted with help from my family, but for the most part, it’s a one person business. I feel every year that Shelf Stock is reinvigorated with new products and designs, tossing out the old, and continuously innovating. To be honest, I can’t wait to show you all those new products, just bear with me, time is not my friend. Thank you for all the support, thank you for word of mouth, thank you for the patience, and most of all, just… THANK YOU. Happy Fall and Good Vibes and God Bless to each and one of you!

[josephine-futturwoman]

is being a woman like…way cooler ?? like- would u say it’s fun and whimsical ??

hey dude, thanks for the question! Dunno if you're asking this because you consider transitioning or you're genuinely just interested BUT I SUPPORT YOU EITHER WAY!! I'll just say: I think it's 50/50 fun. Equally as hard as being a man - we have different issues but the same amount. I guess I have the right to say that, cause I've experienced being both, this is all my personal experience I'm basing my opinions on. But my whole life as a woman is still ahead of me (I was "reborn" as a woman only 4 years ago), I might learn new things and compare the struggles of genders differently. Others can have their own opinions. But here's a list of cons and pros of being a girlie!!:

Cons:

It's more likely for a woman to get harassed, SA'd and etc.. Though I'm not saying men don't get into these horrible situations, and I feel sorry for those who did, I just think women have been sexualized and shown as weak and helpless throughout the years way more, compared to respected men with more power.

Fucking menstruations, pregnancy. Ain't nobody enjoys the immense pain that shit causes (unless they're a masochist). I don't judge people who want to have a baby, but the aftermath of giving birth can really fuck up a woman's health and body. And the cramps, blood, nausea during periods? Nuh uh, fuck that. Men don't get to experience that, luckily.

WOMEN DON'T HAVE A WEEWEE AND CAN'T STACK DONUTS, PUT CUTE BOWS AND GOOGLY EYES ON IT, AND WILL NEVER KNOW HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO ORGASM BALLS DEEP INTO SOMEONE😡😡😡😡

Pros:

I've read somewhere that women live longer, outliving men frequently. Ig we just pay more attention to our health and are more careful, idk how that works tbh >:P

Tbh, I'd put childbirth in pros too. Women are unique from men for this "feature" - being able to constantly continue creating human life in this generation. No man would even exist if women didn't choose to give birth to them, so SOME of those disrespectful assholes who say that they hate women and treat them like shit should fucking shut up and thank their mothers for creating them with the abilities to think and have those own shitty opinions, and they show some respect to them. Unless they have a death wish, sorry then. Plus, having patience to bear those born children, nurture them - basically watch your own little creation you took care of grow into a, hopefully, good and successful person - that shit's impressive as hell and something men can't perfectly duplicate, you cannot lie. Sending respect to all mothers out there, and especially my own❤️

Women can paint their nails, put makeup on, do their hair, wear absolutely majestic outfits and dresses, accessories and jewelry - basically, spend hours to look like literal GODDESSES in the end. But they don't even need that makeup or expensive clothes to look absolutely gorgeous either way. Just the fact that they take care of their appearance so much seems so appealing to me idk. And I'm not saying that men don't do that, of course some also take care of their looks. But sadly it's not normalized for everyone for men to spend too much time on their appearance to look neat - some bitchy people associate that activity with women and tell that it makes those men feminine for that, which can make some of those guys uncomfortable if they didn't want to seem as feminine... Even more unnormalized for some people are men wearing feminine clothes and makeup, and honestly that's fucking sad that they can't be who they are comfortable being. I want men and women to have "best dress/makeup" battles, because mens' costumes can't compare to the mesmerizing dresses designers create specifically for women😔. But there are some people out there insulting such brave men for having taste. So that's why I consider us, women, lucky🙁.

Anyways sorry for the rant ig?? It was just quite an interesting question!! And I really hope I didn't say anything controversial or offensive nor to men nor to women, those weren't my intentions, sorry if I did!! This is all just how I think!!

[geminiamethyst]

Skyline Gang: Fears (Candi)

1shot stories list: click HERE

Fears Summary: click HERE

WARNING! This one shot does contain minor spoilers from “Trial of Darkness”. If you haven’t read the chapters 18 and 19 yet, please do so now. Thank you and enjoy.

Candi honestly felt very ill. It wasn’t like a normal cold or flu. It was very different from a normal bug that she would pick up from anywhere.

There was to be a photoshoot of her and the others today on the high ropes course. They had been doing various shoots like this for the past couple of months throughout the Skyline. It was mainly to help promote the different facilities a little bit. So far everything went well. The photographer that they hired was lovely to get along with and always listened when there were any concerns. Like when the weather suddenly took a bad turn that one time and they all decided to do an indoor location instead of one outside like originally planned. Or when Mimi had that bad stomach ache and couldn’t be part of a shoot (much to her extreme disappointment). There was nothing but patience and understanding. They really liked the photographer and couldn’t be grateful enough to have her services.

However, today was different.

Candi knew the location for the shoot today. But what changed was the photographer. Their usual one suddenly called in sick the day before and there was going to be a replacement for her. That’s fine. It’s just if he or she knew that Candi had a certain…problem so to speak. Dude reassured her countless times that the new photographer should know since their boss and the usual photographer notified them. Everything should be fine, right?

“You okay, Candi?” Sprout suddenly asks. Candi snapped out of her dizzying state at that second. The others had gone on far ahead, while both siblings stayed at the back. Sprout more for support while Candi suffered from her stomach ache.

“Um…” Candi whimpered, looking at the structure up ahead. They were a few feet away, making it look smaller than it really was. She was trembling again, her chest feeling tight. Sprout recognised the signs instantly. Brother instincts kicked in. He hurriedly took over, turning Candi around gently as he looped an arm around her shoulders.

“Candi, it’s okay. We know that you won’t go up there.” He smiled brightly. It was enough to help Candi to calm down. “We’ll just have some pictures on solid ground, then the rest of us will go up around the course. You can wander around the Skyline or something like that, you don’t have to watch us.”

“Thanks Sproutie.” Candi returned a shaky smile. Yeah. While the others continue the photoshoot, she can go occupy herself. Maybe she’ll assist the Redcoats. Or play with the children. Or walk Rainbow somewhere. Anything to shake off this awful feeling.

“Anything for my sister! Now let’s go!” Sprout grinned. He’d honestly be lying if he said that he didn’t feel better himself. He hated it when Candi got like that. She was always bright and cheerful. Seeing her looking that dizzy was abnormal, maybe even close to criminal. Maybe Sprout will get her a pink plushie to make her feel better. Who cares is she’s got dozens more? She might as well be earning one for being this close to the high ropes course.

Thankfully, Candi didn’t have to wait too long. Once the others were harnessed up and give the safety briefing (and Dude preventing Misty from getting started halfway through said briefing), the photographer arrived. Honestly, Candi got a bad feeling the second she saw him. He just gave off this flare of arrogance and pompous attitude. He was a little rude too. Instead of a polite hello, as soon as he saw everyone else in harnesses and done with the safety briefing, he said “perfect! We can get started!”

He made everyone else think that he was some form of paparazzi or something until Dude asked him who he was. Once there was a confirmation, the photoshoot went underway. Things were starting out fine. They were all under the structure, taking different photos. This is fine. They’re on solid ground. It was when the ground shots were over that the problems started. As everyone started to go up, Candi took that as a sign to evacuate herself to safety. Maybe she’ll watch for a little bit. If she feels queasy, she’ll do something else like she had planned.

“Hold on! Where are you going?” The photographer asked, clamping a hand on Candi’s shoulder. When he forced her to face him, he looked at her up and down. “And where are your harness and helmet?”

“Oh…um…” Candi started shaking again. Calm down. Candi’s on solid ground. She’s safe. She’s fine. Just explain what was wrong and why she wasn’t going on the course with everyone. However, she couldn’t get a word out as the photographer glared down at her. Did she do something wrong? Why was he angry at her?

“She doesn’t want to go up.” Sprout started speaking up. He was the last one to follow the others. He was confused by this too. “She’s…”

“I don’t feel comfortable going up there.” Candi finished off, wringing her fingers so much that they might be flexible.

“Nonsense! You’ll be fine!” The photographer waved off. Sprout and Candi stared at him in disbelief. Was he not listening to them on purpose? “All the safety checks were done right?”

“It’s not safety that’s the issue here. Candi doesn’t-” Sprout protested.

“She’ll be fine!” The photographer sighed heavily, cutting Sprout off completely. He turned back to Candi, almost challenging her to argue back. “Now get a harness on! Time’s being wasted here!”

“What’s going on?” Dude suddenly asked. He noticed the commotion after realising that Sprout wasn’t following him. He immediately came back down to see what was wrong.

“You’re the leader, right? Order her to go and get a harness on!” The photographer barked, pointing at Candi as if she had offended him. Thankfully he didn’t enforce it any further as he stomped off. “I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”

Dude and Sprout exchanged appalled glances. Order Candi? Sure, Dude was the leader but he doesn’t bark orders like a drill sergeant. He does give them out, but only when absolutely necessary. This isn’t one of those few times. Especially while Candi was terrified. She was contemplating what was said to her. Should she go up? Maybe he’ll stop harassing her? However, the thought of being high up with only a harness to support her was enough to nearly make her throw up.

“You okay?” Dude asked, as he noticed how much Candi was shaking.

“Please don’t make me go up there! I can’t-” Candi started wailing, tears springing from her eyes. She knows that Dude wouldn’t do that, but panic kicked into overdrive.

“Candi, calm down. I won’t force you up there. I know how you are with heights.” Dude gently said, offering an understanding smile. He knew from first hand experience that Candi wouldn’t go around the course, even if her life depended on it. He then gestured for Rainbow to come over as he waited by the gate. Seems that the photographer neglected to let him out as he left. “Tell you what? I think Rainbow would be quite happy if you take him for a walk by the beach. You could maybe go for a short swim too if you’d like.”

“A walk will do me some good. It sounds lovely.” Candi smiled as Rainbow took his spot beside her. She was still pale but at least the distraction was working. Before she left, she gave Dude and Sprout a hug as thanks. Both boys stayed on the ground as Candi left with Rainbow, making sure that the photographer didn’t catch her again. That was the last thing they needed right now. Either the photographer was going to the bathroom or he was getting something from his car because he was raking his time. By time he got back, the Gang had arranged what order they would go in around the course; from then most confident going first and the least confident going last. When the photographer looked around, his expectant smile dropped.

“Where’s the pink girl?” He asked. In all honesty, Dude can’t say that he was surprised to hear that. He really needs to clear up the misunderstanding here. “I told you to bring her up here!”

“She’s not comfortable being up here.” Dude spoke up, crossing his arms defensively. The others equally looked annoyed by this man. Sprout and Dude had filled them in on what’s going on. Needless to say that it was a mistake for Candi to be messed around like this. The photographer should know the reason why Candi won’t partake in the photoshoot. Even the instructors were wondering why he was so ignorant to the facts here. They were aware about why Candi won’t be part of the shoot too.

“I’ll go find her.” The photographer sighed heavily. What?!

“Oh no, you won’t.” Dude declared, immediately blocking the man from going anywhere. What is wrong with this guy?! Rainbow wasn’t being on the course either, and yet he wasn’t complaining about that. He was only targeting Candi. “Look you’ve already taken a few photos of her with us on the ground. That’s more than enough right?”

“I’m meant to take photos of all of you on the course. That includes Pinkie.” The photographer argued arrogantly. This idiot…

“First of all, her name is Candi. And second, I don’t like how you’re talking about and treating her.” Dude fought back. He had a small urge to march this guy out of the Skyline. He was usually tolerable with a lot of things, but someone being close to harm his friends is something that he won’t take lightly. Why can’t the photographer accept that and move on already?!

“Just get her here.” The photographer ordered.

“No, I won’t do that!” Dude continued to stand his ground. Don’t let him win. Get to the main point of the argument. Now! “Even if I did, she’d still refuse to come up here. She’s-”

“Enough!” The photographer shouted, ready to push Dude out of the way.

“How about this?” Mimi suddenly asked, taking her place beside Dude. She was awfully calm about the situation. For now. “We go around the course and you take your pictures. No need to kick up a fuss.”

“But I need-” the photographer started his dumb argument again. Mimi was quick to cut him off.

“No, you don’t.” Her voice rose a little in tension. A subtle warning. “We’ve wasted time here because you’re refusing to listen. Make do with what you have right now, or we can arrange a different photographer to come here.”

“Fine! But if I see Pinkie, she’s coming up here!” The photographer grumbled, finally giving up. As he started setting up, no one could believe his attitude towards Candi. Again, what was wrong with him?! Did he not get the notice about Candi? Honestly, Dude felt terrible. He had told Candi more than once that this new guy should be fine with her not going around the course. Now that this has happened, he felt like a traitor to her trust.

“I’ve just messaged Candi.” Mimi suddenly whispered to him, showing her phone. For once, Dude was glad to see the device on her person. “Hopefully she’ll get the warning I’ve sent and stay away.”

“Good call.” “And once this is done, he’ll be gone.”

Just one hour. And one hour was enough.

The Skyline Gang tried to have fun while going around the course. But the photographer wasn’t allowing that. Throughout the shoot, this idiot barked orders and told different members of the Gang to just stay still. Even when clinging onto a net despite the burn in their muscles, he wouldn’t let them move until he had the “perfect shot”. He also forced them to move around the course more than twice to be satisfied. He didn’t have any patience or understanding with them at all. Bud’s glasses nearly fell off at one point because he was so surprised by the sudden shouting. Nearly everyone felt like they would fall off if this guy wasn’t careful, even while they were safely harnessed in. Not to mention he didn’t listen to anyone, including the instructors that were supervising the Gang. He didn’t refer anybody by their names, despite them literally being plastered in front of him. It was always “you”, “blondie”, “four eyes”, “Sportacus” and so on. He even tired to go against safety by ordering Sprout, Dude and Bud to swap their helmets for their usual headwear. To make them “more recognisable”. It was only when the instructors and the Gang were combining forces that he listened for about five minutes. It didn’t stop his nonsense though.

During that entire time, the photographer looked around and got distracted as he kept an eye out for Candi. Thankfully, she got Mimi’s warning, and stayed at the beach. Not that it made the photographer any better to get along with. Let’s just say that even Mimi had enough with the photoshoot, and she usually loves looking good for the camera. When that long, excruciating hour was done, they were more than happy. Those pictures had better be good enough. And they have their usual, friendly photographer back for the next shoot.

After another hour of taking a well deserved break and catch up with Candi (with Candi showing all the shells that she and Rainbow had collected), the Gang went back to their usual routine. Show and then meet and greet the guests. They even played a few games for a short time. This was so much better. It almost made everyone forget the rotten morning that they all had.

However, as the old saying goes, there’s always a calm before the storm.

“Dude! Sprout!”

The blue and green ones jumped at the sudden wailing. They were speaking to a couple of young guests when they were interrupted. Two kids, probably siblings judging by their resemblances, came running up to them. It wasn’t that unusual. Kids run up to them all the time. What was unusual was the tears streaking down their faces.

“Whoa! What’s going on, kids?” Dude asked as the kids skidded to a stop in front of him. Were they lost? Did a parent get hurt? Bullying? Parents being “unfair” by not buying something that they wanted?

“Some mean man is kidnapping Candi!” The bother wailed.

“What?!” Sprout exclaimed, standing right behind Dude. He couldn’t stop shaking. It wasn’t from fear. Was this anger?

“He’s dragging her away!” The sister cried, her body shuddering from her tears. There’s no way either of them can speak now. Even the other kids that didn’t see what happened started to cry from fear.

“Where did they go?” Dude asked the mother as she caught up to her children.

“To the high ropes course. He scared my children as the poor girl was talking to them.” She explained, equally as distraught as her children. The high ropes course? Did that mean…? Sprout didn’t think for a second. He immediately started running. Each step was filled with determination. No one’s taking his sister without his say so.

“Sprout! Wait!” Dude shouted after him. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to help. It’s that it wasn’t a good idea for Sprout to go alone. He spotted Bud who had witnessed the commotion, looking just as aghast. “Bud! Call security! Get them to meet us at the high ropes course!” He didn’t wait for a response. He ran off after Sprout. He easily caught up with him as they dashed out of the pavilion. Some people pointed out where Candi and the kidnapper went. Still towards the course. As soon as he spotted them, Dude couldn’t hold in a frustrated groan. Does that jerk ever give up?! That photographer really hung around just to catch Candi off guard. How could this guy be that ignorant and spiteful?! All for some stupid pictures!

Sprinting with all he could muster, Dude outran Sprout. People cleared the way as he ran. He caught up instantly. He didn’t hesitate. As he got closer, he saw how hard Candi was being jerked by the arm. The force was so hard that it looked like her arm was going to break. She was crying and screaming so much that the earth would shatter. This needs to stop! Now!

“What are you doing?!” Dude yelled as he caught up. He grabbed Candi while simultaneously pushing the photographer away from her. Candi let out a huge wail, clinging onto Dude like a limpet to a rock. He held onto her just as tightly, turning his body to act like a shield. He heard Sprout coming up to them. Good, he’s going to have a little help.

“I was just-” the photographer started.

“We’re done with the photoshoot!” Dude shouted. It was his turn to interrupt this idiot. Once Sprout stepped behind him, Candi latched onto him too. Despite the comfort he was giving, he still looked angry. At least Candi wasn’t seeing it. And now Dude can focus all of his attention on the idiot. “There’s no need to drag her to the course like that!

“She needs-” the photographer started again, holding up his camera.

“No she doesn’t! If you’d bothered to listen to us, you’d get the picture already!” Dude argued back. He can’t believe this. Why can’t this guy get the hint already?! Priorities. Get Candi out of this area. Now! “Sprout, get her back to the house.”

“Just let me get one in!” Sprout started growling, trying to take a step forward despite Candi still clutching onto him.

“No! House, now!” Dude hissed, getting between Sprout and the photographer. He flinched a little at how dark Sprout’s face had gotten. It was like he was a completely different person right now. Get him to calm down. Sprout choosing to swing fists was the last thing that Candi needed to witness. “Sprout, believe me, I know how angry you are. But Candi needs her brother right now.” Sprout blinked at this, his rage diminishing. He looked down at Candi. Did he forget that she was there for a moment? How blind was he? Taking a deep breath, he went back to hugging Candi, her sobs muffled by his shirt. Dude’s right. Candi needs her brother, not the boy he was seconds ago. He was still mad but not as blind as he was before.

“Just get him to leave.” Sprout muttered. He didn’t say anymore. He didn’t need to. Carefully, he started walking, taking Candi with him. Some people who witnessed the abduction walked with them, almost like a living shield for the siblings. Dude sighed in relief. He was worried that he needed to restrain Sprout from doing any damage. Honestly, Sprout had never been that angry before, not even at Misty. Protective brother instincts must have kicked into overdrive. Truth be told, it was quite terrifying.

“You’re ruining my job!” The photographer shouted, shoving Dude harshly. Dude stumbled forward, just able to stay standing. Now he was starting to get more angry.

“No, you are!” He fired back, maintaining his distance. Don’t make it more physical than it already has. He really has had enough. Bring the main point up now! “Do you know why Candi won’t go up there? She’s afraid of heights!” The photographer buckled at those words, his camera almost falling from his hand. He seriously didn’t know?!

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He exclaimed as he started to drop thinking straight again.

“We tried to! But you wouldn’t let us explain!” Dude sighed in frustration. How could this idiot not know an important detail like this?! “Come to think of it, I’ve told your boss and coworker about her phobia. A couple of times actually. Didn’t you get a memo about it?”

“I was sent one…but I didn’t read it.” The photographer said so quietly that Dude was lucky to hear that.

“You got a notification about one of your clients and her mental health, and you didn’t read it?!” Dude exclaimed, his fists clenching. There was so much wrong with this that he couldn’t write a whole book.

“That’s not my fault!” The photographer shouted back. “You’re just a dumb teenager that needs to get that Gang in line! If you took your responsibilities seriously, this wouldn’t be happening.”

Seriously?! Okay. Dude had to admit that he should’ve been more upfront about Candi’s phobia earlier. Would the photographer have listened then? Or would he still pull this stunt? And he’s deflecting the blame onto Dude too. Had he been caught doing this before? Did his employer know about his behaviour? Just get him out! Now!

“And you’re a bully! One without common sense no less!” Dude spat back. How he hasn’t punched this guy already is a miracle in itself. “Don’t think that your employer won’t be hearing about this.”

“What?! You can’t! I will lose my job!” The photographer whimpered, growing pale. Dude couldn’t help but roll his eyes. If this idiot was worried about his job, he should’ve read this memo he got or listened to everyone when they tried to explain to him what was wrong. He not only put Candi’s life in danger, he put others in danger too. Turned out there were some guests going around the course right now. If he had forced her up there, who knows what could have happened! He has made one too many mistakes today. And was messing with Candi in the first place.

Some familiar faces and uniforms came into Dude’s peripheral vision. Better late than never.

“You have about ten seconds to start leaving.” Dude warned, pointing to Bud and the members of security that he had with him. The photographer became even paler at the sight of them. “Or I’ll have security drag you out just like how you were dragging my friend.” The photographer slumped. He had no more fight in him. He sauntered away, security staying with him. People gave a small cheer for him leaving, accompanied by some boos and people scolding him.

“He’s not going to get away with this, is he?” Bud asked, stepping up to Dude.

“No. I’ll call his boss.” Dude sighed, trying to calm down. The idiot is gone. He can’t be that angry anymore. “I don’t know if Candi’s the first victim of his abuse, but she won’t be the last unless we do something about it.”

“I’ll gather any security footage of this. I’ve got a feeling they we’ll need it.” Bud agreed, already linking his smartwatch with the security system. He improved the old one himself, so it was easy for him to have remote access. He just wished that this wasn’t for this situation. Dude felt the same likewise. As Bud was working, he went back to the house. Mimi was there, brewing the kettle. Sprout and Candi were more than likely upstairs. No doubt it was the safest place for Candi right now. Dude highly doubts that she’ll come out any time soon. He tried not to lose his cool as he held onto his promise about phoning the idiot’s boss. He told him what had happened from start to finish. He honestly felt bad for this employer. He apologised so many times that it was pitiful. As Dude brought up a possible chance of suing, the boss cooperated with full force. Over the phone he started sending evidence of the notice that the photographer never read and said that the photographer’s employment was over, effective immediately. He even offered a refund for today’s photoshoot. He also said that he’ll contact previous clients. If there were other incidences that were never brought to his attention, it’ll add extra fuel to Dude’s fire.

At the end of the call, Dude couldn’t have felt better. He was worried that the boss would defend his employee. Thankfully, it didn’t come to that. However there was still some work to be done.

“How is Candi?” Dude asked as Mimi came back downstairs from her tea run.

“She’s really shaken up. Sprout and Rainbow are with her right now.” She sighed, caught between sad and angry. Rainbow was here too? That’s good. He always made himself the Gang’s support dog, and he was darn good at it. “How did the call go?”

“Better than I hoped for.” Dude smiled a little. However, his smile faded almost instantly. “But I still need to speak to Candi real quick.”

Mimi’s silent nod was all he needed. He didn’t wait for any other response. As he went up the stairs, he heard Misty enter the house. She was complaining to Mimi about her arm hurting and demanding to know what happened. Dude didn’t enlighten her. That can be Mimi’s job. Maintains his composure, Dude knocked on Candi’s pink door as gently as he could. He heard some shuffling, and a muffled voice. After a few seconds of waiting, Sprout opened the door. He still looked upset, but thankfully wasn’t in beast mode.

“Is he gone?” He forced out, his voice not his own. He was far from the joker that he always is. Who knew that he could change that easily? Candi being attacked like that was more than enough for it.

“Yeah.” Dude was blunt to answer. He didn’t need to give details. Just a simple answer.

“Good. If he wasn’t, I would’ve sent Rainbow after him.” Sprout remarked, looking over where Rainbow was in the room. He barked in agreement. Dude poked his head in, scanning the room.

“Where’s Candi? I thought she was up here.” He asked curiously. Did she go to the bathroom or something without him knowing?

“She is.” Sprout grinned a little. He pointed to the mountain of pink plushies on one side of the room. Not for the first time, Dude wondered about how many plushies did one girl need. It turned out to be a lot. He still didn’t understand why Sprout was pointing at them. Nor why Rainbow was lying right next to them. It was only when he noticed a small amount of movement from within the mountain of softness that he understood. Candi had buried herself alive within the plushies.

“She does that when she’s scared or stressed.” Sprout explained upon seeing the perplexed look on Dude’s face. “I’ve seen her do it a couple of times. It makes her feel safe.”

“Well, with dozens of plushies to hide in, who wouldn’t feel safe?” Dude smiled a little as Sprout allowed him in. When the door was closed, he approached the plushies. Kneeling down in front of him, he tried to make out where Candi was, but that was impossible. He could still hear her crying though. It was truly heartbreaking. Still, he needs to do this quick task and small talk. “Candi? The scary man is gone. I just need to see your arm. Is that okay?”

There was a chorus of sniffling from inside the toys, accompanied by shuddering breaths. There was a little bit of movement again, causing one of the plushies from the top of the pile to fall off. Rainbow stood up and made a move to prod the plushies to encourage the pink girl. Sprout gently held him back. Don’t force Candi out, let her come out on her own. All three sat in front of the plushies. Just wait. After a couple of minutes, the plushies moved more. One by one, they all cascaded from the pile. A couple landed in Dude’s and Sprout’s laps, leading them to gently push them off. Candi was revealed from the centre of her hiding spot, clutching her favourite pink teddy bear tightly. Her eyes were puffy and red, tears soaking her flushed face. She was trembling from a combination of fright and her weeping. Dude held his hand out. Stay patient. Don’t force her. He needs to let her come to him. Candi glanced from Rainbow, to Sprout and then back to Dude. She looked at them back and forth, unsure what to do. After another minute, her hand unlatched from her teddy, and shakily reached over to Dude’s. As Dude held her hand, he could immediately see the handprint on her arm. The photographer had grabbed her so tight that it left a bruise that will darken by morning.

“I’m just going to take a picture, just in case we need to sue.” Dude gently explained, pulling his phone out. Candi almost pulled her hand back, but she didn’t. This needs to be done. Dude gently rubbed her knuckles with his thumb for encouragement. He didn’t linger on the issue. He just snapped as clear a picture as he could. At least it was more evidence. And hopefully help give Candi more peace of mind. As soon as the deed was done, Dude squeezed Candi’s hand gently. Sprout meanwhile had grabbed a box of tissues and passed one to Candi so that she could wipe away her tears. Rainbow helped by licking her face a little. Candi laughed a little from the dog’s attempt to help. Sprout and Dude exchanged a smile. That felt great to hear. It was impossible to describe how it felt to listen to. After wiping her face of dog drool and tears, Candi gently placed her teddy down. Without a word, she leaped forward to pull Sprout and Dude into a tight group hug. The embrace was returned instantly. Relief, security and care. That’s all that was needed for all three of them at that moment.

“Thank you both for saving me.” Candi whispered, making the hug more emotional.

“It’s okay. If anything, you should be thanking those kids that told us what happened.” Dude smiled. He made a mental note to remember those kids and their mum. They deserve to know that Candi was okay in the end.

“Yeah! They’re the real heroes!” Sprout added with a wide smile. “Dude and I were just the sidekicks.” Candi let out another small laugh before taking a deep breath. This day she started off being scared. That photographer only made her fear of heights even worse. She might never go near the high ropes course again after today. She never thought that she would be that terrified. But being here, held tightly by her brother and someone who is just as close as a friend, made her feel better. For the first time all day, she truly felt safe.

Acrophobia -fear of heights

I’m going to be very honest here, I struggled writing this. Because I had already written about Candi’s fear of heights in “Trial of Darkness”, I obviously couldn’t copy and paste the chapter here. It would be…cheating? Sure I’ll go with cheating. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this one shot.

[powerovernothing]

What would the other two bros do if one of them was really terrified of something?

Dear sweet lovely Anon, I do believe you have just said the magic words. After all, I consider hurt/comfort to be my all-time favorite sort of genre to write about in general, and when it comes to Korbin and his siblings, I rarely do anything angsty without including something near the end to make the pain and the tears all better… so really, what I’m trying to say here is that you really don’t have to twist my arm to get me to answer your adorable question~

In fact, I believe I shall go a step beyond just the regular and long-winded answer I normally do when you send me these wonderful messages and will actually give you a few snippets of my writing based around this very concept! So, in other words, my friend! Buckle up, prepare your feelings, and get ready to do some reading down below!

And, if I didn’t already say it at some point recently, thank you – and everyone else – so very much for the continued and wonderful support! It means more to me than you guys will ever know~!

(*~*Underneath is six different snippets of writing from my Oblivion Verse, some that have actually been unseen as of now on this blog, and all of which involve tons of emotions from all three of the boys. Lots of reading involved, proceed with caution!*~*)

If Korbin Was The One Afraid:

When it comes to Korbin and the subject of fear, the things that he is quite often afraid of is based around the aspects of mental terror. Whether it is because of intense nightmares of past mistakes, or the torment he endures at the hands of Sheogorath and what may happen if he goes against his abuser, those are the things he is afraid of most. So, if he was in the trying process of suffering through either of those outcomes – or both at the same time, imagine that – I believe his chosen siblings would react as follows:

Lucien:

(In the aftermath of Sheogorath’s latest ‘play sessions’ with his Little Raven, Lucien soothes Korbin’s mangled nerves)

“Mydear Silencer, look at me,” He calls to him softly, his voice reassuring andgentle. Yet, when his words are unable to breach through the darkening cloud surroundingKorbin’s mind, his tenderness fades and is replaced with as much firmness as hedares to allow himself to be in this moment. “No, Korbin, you will do exactly asI say, and will look at me when I tell you to.”

It takes a rather long while, butKorbin finally does as he is prompted, and when their eyes meet, Lucien noticeshis normally sparkling gaze is now terrified and filled with overwhelmedtears.

“My brother, you are allright,” He says matter-of-factly, and lowers Korbin’s trembling hands tohis lap, so he might hold them both tightly in his own as their fingers intertwinewith one another. “Simply breathe deeply, and know you are not in any formof danger. Do this as many times as you need, as many times as you believe are required, until you find, and at last grasp the truth behindthe words I speak.”

An extended silence falls over thecamp, and Korbin’s shoulders continue to shake violently; the tears in his eyesfalling from his eyes and down his cheeks even amid attempting to make sense ofhis brother’s instruction. Lucien remains where he is, hardly daring to moveeven an inch from his side, and only squeezes Korbin’s hands when he believes hisSilencer falls prey to whatever unspeakable horror he is attempting to fightwithin his own mind.

And when Korbin is carefully pulled from the depths andrealizes the touch he is feels is Lucien’s own, he grasps onto his brother’s handswith white knuckles, and holds on as though they were truly the only possible thingin time itself that could keep him afloat.

“Can you hear the sound of myvoice?” He asks after a moment.Korbinsays nothing in response to his brother’s questioning, and simply nods; hisbreathing rough and ragged, but calming slightly.Lucien then takes one of hishands away from Korbin’s tight grip and returns his palm back overthe side of his cheek.“Are you able to feel mytouch upon your face?” Another nod, and Lucien’s tonesoftens once again.“And you know for absolute certainthat it shall not harm you?” “…I do,” Korbin finally speaks, and he struggles to find his words.“I know… very well that you… that you would never hurt me, Lucien. Even when… evenwhen I’m like this…”“Yes, very good,”Lucien replies with a genuine smile. “And indeed, you are correct in whatyou say, my Silencer, for I would never think to harm you in any way.”And although he cherishes the soothing words his brother speaks to him, and howthe Madness is beginning to subside the longer he remains underneathLucien’s careful touch, the lingering fear of somehow falling back to sleep, only to find himself suffocated underneath never-ending chains, before being broken from an all too different, and oh-so sickening touch, only causes his shoulder to tense and whatever reassurance he thought to heave leave him almost instantly.“But even if you wouldnever hurt me… I know… I know someone who would,” He pulls away from Lucien’s touch, and wraps his arms around himself. “Someone who did. In my mind, before you came tome. You have no idea what it was like, brother, it was simply…”However, Lucien refuses to allowsuch a thing to happen, and reaches to pull Korbin back before he has a chanceto get too far.“It was simply a terribledream, and nothing more,” He explains in a gentle tone, placing one hand in hishair and the other around his shoulders as he holds him close. “It cannot physicallydo any damage to you.”Korbin shakes his head. “But,you don’t –”“—Silence now, and know Iam here,” He whispers, lowering Korbin’s head to his chest before he thinks to speak another wordand runs his fingers through his brother’s tousled locks of grey affectionately. “Whatsoever yousaw surely does not matter any longer, for you are safe within my embrace, and Ishall never let anything come to harm you, Korbin. Not now, and not even whilstyou sleep.”

Martin:

(Martin tends to Korbin after an ambush by the Mythic Dawn, and Korbin blames himself for needing help at all)“There is no shame indesiring protection, and comfort; or coming to my side and allowing me to healyour injuries, you know that I would never –”

“–You very nearly passed outbecause of me, Martin.” Korbin interjects softly, cutting him off as hefeels the tears pooling in his eyes. “You wasted too much energy, and Iwould have been the reason for you hurting yourself…”

Martin breathes out, andthen begins to stand to his full height; touching both of his hands to Korbin’scheeks affectionately, and carefully lowering his tone.

“And yet do you see merefusing, or turning you away, even if such words were true?”

Korbin shakes his head, attemptsto wiggle out of the touch he does not deserve, but his brother onlyholds him in place.

“No, it is not as thoughyou would slam the door in my face,” He tells him, his eyes nearlyoverflowing. “But it does not mean that you should help me,or that I deserve such…kindness.”

Martin places a hand againstKorbin’s neck, and slowly pulls him forward. Korbin does not fight him, he onlyreaches out and grabs a part of Martin’s robe to clutch onto. Grounding him andkeeping him afloat in this dark raging sea. Just another weakness, just another act born ofshame.

“And just why do youbelieve that?” Martin whispers, allowing his brother to hold on ashe runs a hand through his hair. “Why do you believe that you, mydearest little brother, is unworthy of my affection, or my love?”

Korbin buries his head intoMartin’s robe and chokes out a quiet sob. “…Because what if in thenext instance that this happens, you are with me?” The tears run freelydown his face. “What if you are injured somehow, or you expend too muchenergy, or my own actions cause you to leave me?”

Martin pulls back andgives him a curious stare as he tries to dry his tears with his thumbs. “What do you mean by–”

“–You know exactly what Imean by my words, Martin!” Korbin shouts, jerking back as tears runincessantly down his cheeks. “I cannot bear the thought of my mistakescausing you to die in my arms or turn away in shame and anger! And yet, with asmany missteps as I take, it surely means that is only a matter of time before Istumble down the mountain entirely, and you or Lachance fall along with me! Itonly makes sense! Perfect, terrible, awful sense!”

Martin feels his heart breakinganew, and yet he only moves forward to pull Korbin back against him. He husheshis frantic cries and tries to calm his shaking shoulders.

“…Korbin, neither I nor Lachance would ever think to leave your side,” Martin slowly rocks himin place, attempting to soothe him in action as well as words. “We loveyou far too dearly to ever think of doing anything of the sort.”

[…]

“What I am attempting tosay, however,” Martin slowly turns Korbin’s face back around, and lockseyes with him as his voice turns serious. “Is that even though you may beafraid, and that the path before you may be treacherous, and overwhelming tobehold… there is certainly no shame in how you feel, as you are not alone infeeling them. Nor are you alone whatsoever.”

Martin leans forward, and Korbinis surprised when he places a gentle kiss upon his brow. “And if you find that toohard to accept,” He whispers gently, the firmness in his voice gone as quickly as it had come. “Then simply allow me to fightoff whatever frightens you the most.”

If Martin Was The One Afraid:

Being the chosen heir of the Imperial throne in the midst of the great Oblivion Crisis, there is no limit to the things that Martin would end up being afraid of. From dealing with the constant onslaught of Daedra forces, to knowing he will have to bear the weight of the crown by the end of the Crisis, to even witnessing his brothers constantly putting themselves at risk for his own sake… there are many things that could make Martin frightened for one reason or another. Thus, if something like that occurred at any point, I believe his siblings would react as follows:

Lucien:

(Martin has sleeplessness from the Mysterium Xarxes, and Lucien tends to him)

“When was the last time that you slept?” He says,reaching out his hand and turning Martin’s face to the side with a singletouch. “And slept more than a few hours at a time?”

Martin touches the hand that is on his face and lowers itwith a small – rather nervous, sheepish – chuckle. “Would you possiblybe satisfied in any way, if I told you that I simply cannot remember?”

Lucien frowns in response, quite obviously not pleased in anyway regarding Martin’s words, and he exhales a soft sigh. “Ah, then it is justas I thought.”

Lucien pulls his hand away from Martin’s grasp, and thenslowly begins to shuffle backwards upon the large bed until his back is laidpropped against the headboard. When he stills, he crosses his arms overhis chest, and gestures towards Martin with his chin.

“Then I shall ask you again,” He says, and heshakes his head in knowing that Martin managed to have him repeat himself afterall. “Come here and allow me to rectify your terrible choices atonce.”

Martin pauses, genuinely surprised by what he was hearing,and what Lucien was doing – for him,and not their youngest, more troubled brother for once – and he just smilesfaintly.

“Are you suggesting that I come lay beside you?” Heslowly moves forward, but pauses half way, as though he was awaiting voicedapproval of such actions. “As you would with Korbin?”

Lucien holds out his hand; an invitation. “Do you have issuewith that?”

Martin shakes his head and takes the offered hand willingly. “No,not at all,” He tells him simply. Letting himself be pulled forward untilhe was directly beside Lucien against the pillows. “I was just… rathersurprised that you would choose to do this. For me, that is.”

Lucien wraps an arm around Martin’s back, and slowlyreadjusts the Emperor Priest until his head was laying upon his robedshoulders. He listens carefully to the words in which his brother speaks, and asmall amused chuckle escapes him before he realizes it.

When Martin looks up, due to the sudden sound, Lucien justsoftens and tightens his almost protective grip around him.

“You are my brother, are you not?”

Martin nods, nestling himself further within Lucien’s grip,and finding the embrace of The Assassin comforting despite everyknown reason that it shouldn’t.

“Indeed; or at the very least, I was the last Ichecked.” Martin smiles slightly playfully.

“And you have gone without sleep for many nights;possibly brought on due to a certain Daedra Artifact and its influence overyou?” Lucien turns his head, casting Martin back underneath his darkstare. But instead of the Septim Heir desiring nothing more than to wiggleaway, and escape from Lucien’s eyes, he notices a hint of concern lurkingbehind his elder brother’s eyes.

Martin merely nods and allows him to continue. To piece togetherthe puzzle pieces he had already gathered, and to admit the truth in which wasalready clearly known.

“…Or perhaps, it was not simply that damnable bookitself, but the nightmares seeking to torment you when you longed for asoundless rest?”

[…]

“Lucien?”

In response, almost as though he could sense where thisthought process was heading just from the whisper of his name alone, Lucienhushes Martin, and pulls his brother closer.

“…I am not going anywhere, Septim,” He reassures him,hoping it is enough even as he wraps his other arm around him just in case itproves otherwise. “Sleep and know that I am here. You are perfectly safe.”

Korbin:

(Martin is temporarily blinded by Akatosh’s great power, and Korbin tries to see the bright side of things)“Martin, what in all of Sithis himself were you thinking?!“Korbin shouts, kneeling in front of his brother and grasping onto his shoulderstightly as his concern and anger combine into an uncontrollable emotion seeking to overwhelm.“I told you I would have beenfine! You had no reason to give yourself over to that sort of magic, especially whenyou barely understand such power to begin with!” He shakes Martin slightly in emphasis to his heated words, and then his emotions shift from the intense mixture of worry and rage, to a much more selfish line of thought. “You could have hurt yourself back there! Burned yourself from the extent of the flames, did terrible things to your body, or you could haveeasily died by unknowingly expending too much energy! And just what would I have done then? What would I have done if youdied in the process of protecting me?!”Korbin pulls his hands away, and impatiently awaits a reply. But whenone does not come, and instead his brother simply continues to stare at him blankly, hardly reacting to his words, or even the sudden shaking, his expression twists in frustration.

“Are you merely going to let me ramble on without end? Without hardly saying asingle word in response?” He asks in an offended tone, and then touches his shoulder once againwith one hand, patting it lightly in an effort to gain his attention. “Did you evenhear a single word I said to you at all?”

Martin inhales a deep breath in the hopes of somehow composinghimself, but it does very little to soothe his nerves. His shoulders beginto shake as he desperately scrambles to reach for the hand he feels restingagainst his shoulder. His voice stammers, and his unfocused eyes fill to therim with terrified tears.

“…I can… I can hear you justfine, Korbin,” He tells him when he finds his brother’s hand at last. He turnshis head, and the tears slip down his cheeks as he clutches the hand pitifullyagainst his chest. “It is only because I cannot… see you… that I said nothing. Know that I… that I can hear you just as clearly as I would naturally… but your face… noteven your place in, where I assume, you are in front of me… I can no longer see it… Isimply cannot see anything…”

[…]

“All right, this doesn’t… this doesn’t mean it isn’t something we can learn to deal with, and come to terms with, yes?” Korbin mutters with a nervous chuckle, one hand resting against Martin’s face so that his brother might know he is still there outside of voice alone, and the other running through his hair almost frantically before he stands.

“We have faced all manner of things before now, and dear Sithis, we have even faced the very worst that Oblivion itself had to offer! So, a little thing like… like a sudden loss of sight doesn’t mean it takes away who you are! You are still very much my beloved brother, and I care for you even if you have bright and shining eyes much like my own, or dimmed and faded ones!”

Martin sits with his hands folded in his lap where Korbin had placed him beside what he assumes is the feeling of the heat of the fire lightly warming against his skin as it crackles and pops. He listens intently to his brother as he rambles on and finds it curious how his voice fades in the distance, and then rises in volume at least half a dozen times.

He can only surmise, from behind his still darkened eyes, that his brother is pacing about the grounds of their campsite.

“And if that is not enough to soothe you,” Korbin begins, halting his step and coming to stand in front of his brother with his hands outstretched to gesture. “Then we could always locate a healer of some kind! I mean, there must be some amount of magic, or magical being in this Void cursed world we inhabit that could make you better! I mean, whatever else is that damn magic good for if not for healing! Or, if you simply do not want to involve an alternate means of magic – considering it was Divine tampered magic that caused this to happen to begin with – then I simply stay beside you and help whenever you needed to see.”

Korbin kneels in front of Martin and reaches to take his brother’s hands in his own, and Martin tilts his his head and blinks in surprise.

“After all, considering that my honored title is the Knight of the Emperor, I see very little reason why I cannot be considered the Eyes of the Emperor just the same,” Korbin tells him with a genuine smile. “I can assist whenever you need to pass judgement, or when you need to write out papers, or even when you need to go from one room to the next. Whatever is needed my dear brother, you have me. As long as it helps… and as long as you know, without a doubt, that I am with you in this darkness….”

If Lucien Was The One Afraid:

Now, this is where things become quite tricky, and just a touch complicated in the long run. Mostly because, as the eldest sibling out of the three, there are very seldom moments where Lucien allows himself to be seen as weak in front of both Korbin and Martin. As he deems himself to be their protector, and the one who keeps them safe whenever something dangerous or frightening arises.However, this is also where it backfires on him, as while he is indeed the eldest, that just means he has so much more to lose. Worrying over their safety, and fearing the moment he would be too late, sometimes it just overwhelms him in uncontrollable ways. And while there aren’t exactly many moments where he is the one receiving comfort from his younger brothers, you have just managed to inspire me to create more, my dear Anon!

But here’s hoping these will sate you until that time comes~

Korbin:

(Lucien is haunted from nightmares of his previous Silencer, and his brother’s death, and Korbin calms him unintentionally)

“What good is your trustand love, dear Speaker,” Lara whispers; her fingernails digging into hisforearm and drawing blood, as her lips twitch with a demented smile. “Whenyou knew in your cold and selfish heart that you would never be able to carefor them as much as they cared for you?”

Lucien’s eyes dart quickly fromboth Lara’s bloodied and torn face, to where Korbin stands far too still as heslices his throat with The Assassin’s own dagger, and he feels himselfdrowning. Being pulled under the weight of his own choices, his own mistakes,his own foolish heart that should have never tried to love whatsoever, and allhe wishes to do is scream until his throat is raw.

“Whatever you thought were yours to hold, shall againbe taken!” Lara squeals happily; pulling Lucien into her embrace, as hervoice shifts from playfulness, to quiet anger. Lucien feels a cold sweat formover his forehead as he listens to her words. “And yet, why do you look sosurprised, dear Lachance? Have you not realized by now that your love is simplya death curse written in the bloodstains of those you foolishly sought to carefor?”

Lara finally lets him go, andLucien falls to his knees in tearful heap. Watching helplessly as Korbin chokeson his blood, and falls backwards away from the cliff side, and down into thedepths of the abyss below. As he does, and Lucien’s hand remains outstretchedtowards a brother he knows he can no longer save, he finds his voice at last.

“Dear sweet Dread Father make itall stop!”

[…]

“By Sithis, I surely cannot explainit,” He mutters to himself; his tone quiet, far softer than the mosttender whisper. “…But the mere thought of losing you in any way; why, itis enough to bring me to my knees in sheer grief alone.”

As his hand moves away fromKorbin’s head, a small grumble – caught between another snore and a groan –reaches his ears, and his brother begins to stir from where he lay.

“…Lucien?” He says ashe attempts to raise his head; his eyes still closed as he speaks. “W-Whatdid… what did you say?”

Lucien chuckles warmly despite it all and leansdown on one knee. “Nothing, my Silencer,” He whispers; pulling the blankets back up around Korbin’sshoulders. “Or at the very least, nothing of grand importance.”

Korbin lowers his head back ontohis pillow when he feels the warmth of the blanket envelop him, and he smilessleepily.

“Are you certain?” Comespart of his question, and his head rolls several times to the side and backuntil he is able to find enough willpower to finish what he was saying. “Afterall, if there is… something you need from me, I could try… and assist?”

‘All I need from you, my brother, is for you to simply stayalive.’

It goes unspoken, unsaid, and asLucien muses silently over the thoughts in his own mind, he slowly brushes theback of his hand against Korbin’s cheek in a candid moment of affection.

“Yes, I am quitecertain,” He answers simply; his gentle actions betraying his otherwiseunemotional tone of voice. “Go back to sleep now, and we shall speak againcome morning.”

Korbin nods in response to hisbrother’s commands, incredibly eager to follow them to the letter withouthardly a word in complaint for once. Lucien continues to watch Korbin for amoment, and when he believes him to be back within the realm of sleep, hefinally stands; moving away from the beds before heading back towards thecracked door of their shared chambers.

But before he reaches connectinghallways, he hears a familiar voice sound from the shadows once again.

“Goodnight, brother,”Comes Korbin’s fading tone from behind; already consumed by his tiredness whenthe words leave him, and yet still desiring to have the final word even still.

Lucien merely smiles sadly whenhe hears his Silencer’s incredibly innocent – and yet far too ironic – wellwishes, and he slowly shakes his head as he whispers his faint reply under hisbreath.

“Sleep well, my dearKorbin.”

Martin:

(Lucien breaks down whilst on the search for Mehrunes Razor to save Korbin from Sheogorath, and Martin soothes him)

Lucien buries the sharp edge of his blade into the bark of the tree and forces down the scream rising in his throat. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Martin’s hands trembling in front of him, uncertain as to what he could possibly do to make this moment better. And all Lucien can do is laugh bitterly at the sight.

“…How is it that no one, in the entirety of this unjust and vile land, has come to realize that we, as his chosen eldest siblings, only want him to be safe?! To at last be set free from his seemingly unending torment and have some manner of the peace so wrongfully denied him!” He slams his fist against the harsh bark and cares very little for the blood running down his hand in response to his actions. His eyes are downcast, and he stares at the pebbles at his feet as the memory that drove him to such a state repeats without end in his mind, and he becomes more emotional.

“Is the sight of him lying in broken tears not already enough to feel utterly helpless? Knowing there is very little we can do at this point to soothe him? Is the sound of his near constant begging for the sweet release of death far too much of a grand request in the eyes of for any possible Divine or Dread Father to somehow grant their mercy?”

Another laugh escapes him, and he slowly pulls his hand back to wipe the blood upon the surface of his armor before turning around around and locking eyes with Martin as angry tears slip down his cheeks. When he began weeping, he surely does not know, but he makes no effort to stop them from falling, even when he sees Martin’s own eyes go wide in shock.

“Of all things… of all things that would prompt them to shun us both away they are needed the most… why must it be this? Why must it be him?” He asks miserably, forcing himself not to step back as his brother begins to move forward. He simply remains fixed in place, all his energy spent on giving life to the words, and the emotion, he had kept within him for too long.

“Tell me, oh wise Emperor… For all your knowledge, all your reassurances, and all the Void-Damned hope you continue to carry alongside that ever-damnable Light, merely answer me this…” Lucien feels his legs beginning to tremble alongside his hands, and he hates every part of the weakness he is allowing himself to give into. But it was too late now, and if he did, indeed somehow fall, then perhaps Martin would catch him. Perhaps then, the two of them could make sense of this all, instead of choosing to shoulder it solely on their own.

Perhaps that is what Korbin needed.

“If you are so content to stand silent and bear witness to me in such a state, lost and near breaking just the very same as you, then surely you must have the answer which eludes me,” Lucien shuts his eyes before he continues, allowing himself to shed broken tears. His anger now having faded away, and simply replaced with genuine pain. He takes a breath, and speaks from behind closed lids. “Why is the one thing I know we both truly desire above all else, for our brother to be alive and to simply feel joy once again, why must it seem so utterly imposs–”

His words are cut off before he has a chance to complete his sentence, for he suddenly feels arms wrapping around his shoulders, and his breathing catches in his throat. Rising his head, he opens his eyes, and sees the faint shape of Martin resting against his shoulder. His hands begin trembling more fervently as they linger just above his brother’s back.

“It is not impossible, and we shall fight back againstevery thought saying otherwise, until we are able to finally save him,” Martin whispers softly, pulling the Assassin close, and tightening the grip he has around him. “He will live through this, Lucien, for we will not let him go so easily. You simply have to keep trusting thatthere will come a day where this will at last be over…and he will be his smiling self once again.”

Lucien says nothing, only nods and slowly wraps shaking arms around Martin’s shoulders. The Emperor Priest rubs a hand over his brother’s back in comfort, as he tries to calm Lucien’s raging emotions with whatever gentle words he believes that he needs to hear the most.

“And if such a thing proves too difficult at first, or you are unable to continue to uphold your self-imposed image of unshakable strength for whatever reason,” He whispers into his ear. “Then understand that it is quite all right, and I shall simply believe enough for the both of us…”

Oh goodness, this ended up way longer than I first expected it to when I was first compiling my ideas, but I honestly couldn’t help myself by the halfway point! Your question was so lovely, and I got so inspired by it, that I couldn’t help but give you something special in return for you taking the time to drop this in my askbox! Did I possibly overwhelm you with all the various snippets of writing from so many different scenarios? Most likely, but I hope that even despite that, you enjoyed reading all of this over!

As you may have already guessed, most of these came from different points in the boy’s lives – some during the Crisis, a little while after, and some even post the two-year time skip – so there’s a touch of flip flopping around, and some of these were actually quite old before character development actually set in. Meaning I had to do a little flash editing to make them presentable to how Korbin and his brothers act nowadays. But as I said, I hope you end up getting some feelings while reading, and you are satisfied with all the new information and scenarios involving these three!

If you have any further questions about the boys, are curious about one of the snippets above that you wish to see more of, or you just wish to poke my brain a little further in the near future, please feel free! I am always overjoyed and honored whenever you prompt me like this, and I always enjoy taking the time to answer you in full! Thank you so much again for leaving this message, sorry for making you wait a while – as well as possibly overwhelming you with all my writing lmao – and I hope that your days are filled with lots of love, hurt/comfort, and tons of hugs and kisses!

All the best to you, lovely Anon~ ♥

[miraculouscontent]

“Sentibubbler” summary? “Sentibubbler” salt?

Why not both at the same time?

Something a little experimental, though also somewhat reminiscent of some of my past videos. Calling it “summasalt” for now, based on the word “somersault” because this episode was an exercise of my patience.

It’s basically just me going through the episode with my usual episode summary, but salting along the way instead of making you guys read a wall of text without any images or clips or me making snarky comments.

(By the way, yes, I did in fact have caffeine before recording.)

script below for anyone who wants/needs it:

"Sentibubbler" begins with Marinette having food with the Cesaires and I already know this isn't real because Marinette is actually getting to interact with her best friend's family. That's only happened, like--when, two episodes of Season 2? [”Sapotis” and “Anansi”]

Marinette sees Trixx and points out how they're supposed to be a secret, and Alya asks why while calling Marinette "Ladybug." Marinette plays dumb but is told by Nino that everyone already knows her secret. Chloe is also there, chiding Marinette for her identity rule - it's not Marinette's rule but after "Reflekdoll" I've just gotten used to Marinette being blamed for things she didn't do - and Marinette goes to question Chloe's apperance when there's a knock on the balcony door. Alya invites Shadow Moth in and--[Shadow Moth has to duck to come inside]--huh, I thought Sole Crusher was seven episodes ago.

Anyway, now obviously, Marinette is just being ridiculous and overemotional as usual, because why would Marinette ever think that Alya would reveal any information to--["Feast"]--oh yeah, that's right.

Tikki doesn't transform Marinette and says that Marinette shouldn't have trusted Alya with her secret. Enter Chat Blanc, who says that they can be together now without any secrets. Not really sure what this episode is aiming for with the mixed message of "your identity rule sucks" but also "your fault for trusting someone instead of having a mental breakdown," but a’ight. Trixx also gets another dig in on Marinette for giving Alya the fox miraculous.

Marinette wakes up from her nightmare and panics, but Tikki reassures her that Alya is loyal. [”Chameleon”] Mm. Also, that kind of support might've been nice from Tikki literal seasons ago when Marinette could've used a confidant.

Wayzz - I swear, they've had eyelashes more often than not in this season - points out that Trixx is mischievous and Xuppu talks about Trixx being the cause of the Loch Ness monster rumors, which worries Marinette further. Marinette runs out in her pajamas and I can already predict that neither Tom nor Sabine are going to check on her later or care.

Marinette finds the Cesaires looking for something, their words vague enough for Marinette to think that they're talking about Trixx. Alya brushes Marinette off and tells her to help with looking instead of lecturing her.

Marlena makes a comment that reminds Marinette of her nightmare, only increasing Marinette's stress. A tarantula crawls up a ladle and Marinette freaks out when she sees it, which Marlena has a laugh at because Marinette's anxiety, fear, and panic is hilarious, guys!

This is my laughing face. [not a laughing face]

Nino exits, having been too afraid of the spider to leave the room, so Nora compares Marinette to him. Nino tries to play it cool, then changes the subject to point out Marinette's pajamas. Alya wonders aloud why Marinette showed up and Marinette tries to act casual, but Alya sees through it and states that she doesn't usually lose things when someone lends them to her.

I presume the exception is Marinette's trust. OH-HOOOOHHH, we'll get there.

Nora takes a jab at Alya for losing the spider and Marinette drags Alya away to talk. Nino tries to join but Alya states that it's between her and Marinette, which makes Nino sad.

Nino, does the phrase "guys' time" ring a bell by any chance?

Marinette is explaining her nightmare and is simply told to calm down by Alya, though Marinette is briefly startled by a phone ringing. Marinette puts together what she knows that Shadow Moth knows, including that Alya is Rena Rouge, adding on that Shadow Moth could steal the fox necklace if he figured out that Alya has it permanently. Alya reassures her that no one will ever know and Marinette states that this must include Chat Noir. Alya agrees and brings attention to the fanny pack around her waist, which Trixx has been hiding in, and Marinette has Trixx promise not to show up at the dining table like in her nightmare. Tikki tells Marinette that everything will be fine and Marinette admits that it was silly of her to worry, which it was! ...If you ignore all the anxiety, mental scarring, and constant pressure to be perfect or risk Paris lighting itself on fire, much like I presume they accidentally did with their original script for this episode.

Alya tells Marinette to trust her and also herself - I'll be sure to keep that in mind, Alya, thank you - then Alya loses her temper at the phone continuing to ring. She leaves to find an empty living room, then answers the phone only to hear Shadow Moth on the other line. Alya turns upon hearing Marinette scream to see that Marinette has been trapped in a bubble. Cue the reveal/return of the Bubbler, who is definitely Nino akumatized and not--like--a sentimonster, because the episode didn't spoil it at all with the title of Sentibub--

show, this is freaking embarrassing. Why even bother akumatizing someone when you can mold a sentimonster with the exact power you want?

At least they reveal it quickly, though that also means I have to live with the knowledge that Shadow Moth wINKED AT ALYA, NO.

Anyway, Shadow Moth tells Alya that he wants her to betray Ladybug. Marinette, meanwhile, is panicking over being unable to transform while in public, whereas Tikki remains calm and reassures her that Alya will figure something out and it's why Marinette gave Alya the fox miraculous in the first place.

Weird, I thought it was for the show to continuously validate Alya as a worthy choice for a confidant despite repeatedly covering up her sINS and so the show can push for more anxiety on Marinette's part while simultaneously not having to make a new hero model for Alya, which they would have to do if the realistic decision had been made to give Alya a different miraculous due to Shadow Moth knowing her identity as Rena Rouge.

Marinette texts Alya to inform her that the Bubbler is a sentimonster and so Rena can tell Chat not to use Cataclysm on him or the bubbles will burst due to the sentimonster's lack of control.

Hate to burst the show's bubble but Alya could literally see Nino up in the sky and they could see her; the bubbles are in viewing range. Did this even go through a quality check?

Alya goes to look at Marinette's text, but the phone is bubbled away by Sentibubbler. Marinette sees the phone floating by and panics, only to be reassured again to trust Alya and at this point I vaguely wondered if I was watching this episode on repeat. Tikki also adds that Alya has never let her down - [”Ladybug”] MMMM - and Marinette agrees, also certain that Chat Noir will show up soon.

Oh yeah, he exists. Oh no.

Cut to the Agreste mansion where Adrien is watching the news - dude, how is there never anything better on when you need to be told that there's an akuma? here, look, I'll show you [”Silencer” Lukabug clip] there, much better, see? - and it's pointed out that the bubbles are identical to the ones Bubbler had, yet Nino is in one of the bubbles. Adrien readies himself while Plagg is - for once - okay with leaving since his cheese isn't "edible" yet.

I feel like he should be a little more concerned about Marinette being in a bubble.

Meanwhile, Shadow Moth is explaining to Alya that Ladybug will come to give her the fox miraculous due to the bubbled people in the sky - plenty of other choices that aren't within breathing range of the obvious danger zone, but a'ight - and SentiBubbler will catch Ladybug. Alya brings up Chat Noir saving her but Shadow Moth states that she'll create an illusion of Ladybug and Rena to lure Chat Noir, who won't see Sentibubbler coming, at which point Rena will hand Shadow Moth her miraculous. He adds that her loved ones will only be returned once all three miraculouses are in his possession, though if she tries to warn the heroes then Sentibubbler will send the bubbles into space, too far for any hero to save them.

[clip of space power-ups] Hm.

Also, I would've just let her keep the miraculous as an extra bribe since he doesn't need the fox and she wouldn't have time to recharge anyway - at least to his knowledge - but that's just me.

Marinette is relieved that Alya still hasn't been captured--TIKKI, I KNOW, YOU'VE BEEN PARROTING THIS ALL EPISODE, I KNOW--but Marinette changes her tune when she sees Alya blindly calling out for Ladybug's help, unaware that Alya is buying time. Marinette laments the idea of transforming there and having using the rabbit to go back in time to reverse, as that's never a good thing (seconded), but gets the idea for Tikki to take her miraculous to someone else. Tikki rejects the idea, as the earrings won't go through the bubble, and Marinette realizes that Chat Noir is their only hope.

I mean, it was nice knowing them. Sure is interesting how Marinette has only been getting herself into these situations where she requires saving when the show needed to present Alya as a valid choice for a confidant.

Meanwhile, Chat Noir is leaving a message for Ladybug about the bubbles in the sky, saying that he'll wait for her; I already see where this is going and I don't like it.

Alya mutters to Trixx about how they need a plan to release Marinette. Through Alya Vision, we're shown Sentibubbler, a bowl of fruit, and the bathroom door. Alya tells Sentibubbler that she needs to go to the bathroom and - wow, we're really doing this, aren't we? - which Shadow Moth rejects. Shadow Moth is also on top of a building holding a coffee cup which honestly makes about as much sense as the rest of the episode, so whatever. Alya claims that she can't wait and that it'll be awkward for Ladybug to find her like that, which gets Shadow Moth to relent but also remind her of what's at stake if she tries anything. Alya states that she can't do anything without a miraculous anyway, then purposefully falls onto the table, concealing her long enough for her to transform and allowing an illusion of herself to go to the bathroom while she escapes. She detransforms in the twins' room and feeds Trixx with some grapes that she'd picked up.

Alya explains her plan to trick Shadow Moth and Sentibubbler since they don't know that she has a miraculous, though she also has to make sure that Chat won't ruin things. Rena then proceeds to call Chat Noir and claim that Ladybug wanted her to call him with her plan, but adds that it's a two-person plan and Chat himself isn't needed, so he needs to wait for further instructions. Chat demands that Ladybug call him to tell him herself, but Rena insists that she can't, as Ladybug is very busy. She warns him not to use Cataclysm if he sees the Bubbler, as he's a sentimonster, then promises to talk to him later before hanging up.

She uses Mirage again, making the Alya illusion reappear as well as creating a Ladybug. Chat Noir, infuriated at being left out, destroys part of a building with his baton. He then dismisses the action because Miraculous Ladybug will fix it.

Spoiler alert, it will, which is a very fascinating detail! I mean, I can't imagine another situation where a hero did something while there was an akuma going around and Miraculous Ladybug decided to help 'em out, but it just goes to show what happens when you're the writers' pet. Just look a little pitiful and they'll give you all the sympathy in the world.

By the way, didn't expect them to actually confirm my theory that Chat Noir does Chat Noir things because he knows that Miraculous Ladybug will fix it anyway, essentially allowing him to earn brownie points from Ladybug via sacrificing himself regardless of how it affects her mentally, yet here we are and I don't know whether to be sad, angry, disappointed, or a mixture of all three.

Chat Noir sees the Ladybug illusion jumping off and gives chase, refuses to stay where he is. Marinette, seeing that Rena Rouge's illusions are active, panics at the sight of Chat Noir, as the illusion will vanish if Chat touches it.

I like to imagine the immediate concern is the idea that Chat Noir will try to take Ladybug's hand while trying to flirt.

Anyway, Marinette flails inside the bubble in an attempt to reach Chat Noir, while illusion Alya and SentiBubbler get into position. Chat Noir watches what he perceives as Ladybug heading into the Cesaire house with Alya, but Marinette gets to him in order to tell him not to go anywhere. Chat complains about everyone telling him to stay put, but Marinette explains Rena's plan to him. Chat is skeptical of how she knows that, to which Marinette insists that she saw it from where she was. Chat Noir relents with a sigh and stays where he is.

SentiBubbler watches as the illusion of Alya and Ladybug talk to each other, Rena making it look like Ladybug is piecing together what happened and refusing to give Alya a miraculous ever again due to Shadow Moth knowing her identity. She claims that she'll find another holder and give them an even more powerful miraculous, which interests Shadow Moth and gets him to follow after the Ladybug illusion. Once Sentibubbler leaves as well, Chat sees this as his chance to stop the sentimonster, as the Ladybug illusion will vanish if it's touched. Marinette strokes his ego for the token love square moment of the episode, and Chat Noir fights SentiBubbler while Shadow Moth goes after the Ladybug illusion.

I'm noticing a real lack of tension in this episode. Once Alya has her plan, it's kind of a clean sweep from start to finish with no interference or unexpected roadblocks in the way. Even Shadow Moth following the Ladybug illusion goes fine, with Shadow Moth even punching a building thinking that Ladybug actually got away from him.

Dude, it's fine, Miraculous Ladybug will fix it, just put on your best sad face. Maybe Chat Noir gets it from you actually, is treatment from the writers a hereditary thing?

Sentibubbler and Chat Noir are still fighting. Shadow Moth shows up and Marinette tries to warn Chat, but Chat gets caught in a bubble and Marinette apologizes; she doesn't have anything to apologize for but after "Reflekdoll" I--wait I already did this.

Chat Noir uses Cataclysm to escape, only to get caught in another bubble. I'd just like to throw out there that this guy's a hero three seasons going and the love interest for the main character, yet his role in the episode has amounted to complaining about the authority of a hero Ladybug chose, throwing a property-destroying tantrum over being excluded, and wasting his power without a single thought which just got him captured again.

Chat, does the name "Syren" ring any bells by any chance? I'm just sayin', you could always quit. In fact, wasn't it you literally one episode ago saying that you understood if Ladybug couldn't always come get you? Then, after seeing the jump from "Glaciator" to "Frozer," I'm about as shocked as rubber.

Back with the competent one, Alya notes to Trixx that Rena Rouge can no longer be seen by Shadow Moth or else the jig is up. She transforms and texts Marinette to be ready, creating an illusion of Marinette that simultaneously hides the real version, allowing her to transform into Ladybug.

Chat Noir's bubble gets dragged down and Shadow Moth gets SentiBubbler to mute Chat Noir's bubble.

[clip from “Silencer” where Ladybug takes amusement in Chat being muted]

Ladybug uses Lucky Charm and receives a pot, her Lucky Vision spotting Shadow Moth's coffee cup, then SentiBubbler, then the tarantula trapped in a bubble. Ladybug deduces that the cup is the sentimonster's object, then pulls the horse miraculous out of her yoyo and unifies it with the ladybug--oh.

Oh my.

You know, it's times like this where I'm reminded that the show knows nothing about fashion... or girls... or good writing actually--there's just a lot of stuff they don't know.

Sentibubbler does a countdown, then starts sending the civilian bubbles up into the sky. Chat Noir is about to de-transform while PegaBug notices of Shadow Moth's two miraculous, up for grabbin'. She notes that she won't be able to catch everyone, so she forms a portal behind Shadow Moth and goes for the coffee cup first, thus putting her in control of SentiBubbler, who happily brings the bubbles back down at her command.

Shadow Moth erases SentiBubbler from existence though, causing everyone to fall, but Chat and PegaBug manage to catch them. PegaBug de-transforms and presents the Cesaires with the tarantula, which had been trapped inside the lucky charm. Ladybug and Chat Noir watch Shadow Moth escape and Ladybug laments that it could've been the end of Shadow Moth once and for all because it's not a Miraculous episode without Marinette being at fault or feeling guilty in some way! Chat Noir reassures her [*by “reassure,” I mean he might as well have said, “Well, you saved ME, so you did great!”] - wow, that's two token love square moments for the price of one episode, don't I feel spoiled - and Ladybug leaves to retrieve the tarantula's tank.

Rena Rouge is waiting for her and they hug, with Rena repeating that she doesn't lose something that someone gives her. Ladybug states that she never should've doubted the idea of giving Alya a miraculous and Imma just give you guys a counter real quick. [counter that shows that Tikki has complimented Alya four times, Alya has complimented herself/told Marinette to trust her thrice, and Marinette has said that she was wrong thrice]. Miraculous Ladybug is cast and everything returns to normal, with Alya explaining what she did and Marinette being relieved that Shadow Moth won't be going after her anymore. Alya confidently asks if she was smart and Marinette is happy to praise her, confirming it and stating that Alya is a real superhero and honestly? If the narrative wanted to marry Alya this badly, they should've just used some of the budget to buy a ring instead of projecting onto the other characters.

Then again, the apparent budget can't even afford a new hero model nor new akuma to a very noticeable degree, so I guess they're taking what they can get.

Alya praises Marinette as well for her work as PegaBug and they do a fistbump, thus ending the episode. There's also this ever-so-lovely post-episode scene with Gabriel and Nathalie where Gabriel laments the fact that Ladybug never makes mistakes which--I... has he even watched the series at all? Gabe, babe, Babriel Agreste, it's literally part of the show's formula that Marinette makes a mistake in every episode and she felt guilty like a minute ago over not yoinking your miraculouses when she had the chance, where have you been?

But, yeah, anyway, the episode.

Needless to say, not a fan. Like I said, the show seems so intent on immediately validating the choices they make with Alya in order to make her look like a better character. "Gang of Secrets" basically replaced her with someone different at the end of the episode, and the episode immediately afterwards in chronological order, "Mr. Pigeon 72," did everything it could to push Marinette out of her guardian position long enough for Alya to figure out the grimoire despite having zero onscreen experience with it, the episode even trapping Ladybug in a situation that forced Rena Rouge to come into play to validate that decision as well.

And now we have "SentiBubbler" here following immediately after "Optigami," desperate to reassure its audience that Alya is cool, smart, truthworthy, and that not needing to make a new model--sorry, I mean Alya continuing to have the fox--was a good decision. All the while, they continue pushing Alya's flaws under the rug [Note that it’s not even considered that Alya is even remotely at fault for Shadow Moth going after her specifically after her stunt in “Optigami” when no one else but Ladybug and Chat have ever given out a miraculous], hiding them instead of Alya actually acknowledging them, the only reason she did so in "Optigami" being the same as in "Gang of Secrets"; to make her look good while Marinette makes a big decision in their relationship.

The episode tries so hard to drill in this idea that Alya is a good friend who can be trusted, and I'm just not here for how much they try to hammer it in. Marinette's very real anxiety over Shadow Moth's power and ability to plan things is played off as her being silly instead of something to be concerned about, and instead of giving her a hug and trying to help her calm down - [clip from “Heart Hunter” of Luka hugging Marinette] I miss Luka - she's just told to trust and believe and hAVE fAiTh in Alya.

Shadow Moth is an adult; he has abilities that the teenage heroes don't. I'm not even saying that Marinette isn't overreacting [Basically, her concern about Shadow Moth is valid, especially after “Optigami” where her identity was almost found out], but she has anxiety and some obvious trauma over "Chat Blanc." I was already upset that Alya got a free pass to Marinette's identity, but the constant stressing over how much Marinette should trust her just doesn't affect me when I know Alya and I know the kind of stuff she's done that the show blatantly ignored in favor of pushing for her.

But okay, show, I'll give Alya the benefit of the doubt that she doesn't deserve. Let's say that she's turned a new leaf, and has become the reliable, trustworthy, and loyal partner that Marinette deserves. I'm sure that Alya has Marinette's back, and will never go behind said back in order to do something completely unsurprising and wholly indicative of the character I actually know her to be.

Especially not a mere three episodes later...

[abbynx]

0 to 100 real quick

La Squadra reacting to a usually silent, patient teammate snapping and going off

Genre: Platonic, just the bois being bros, definitely a self-projection, comfort

Warning: Cursing, mentions of breakup and manipulation 

Your phone rang for the umpteenth time, the stubborn caller failing to realise how many times you've wordlessly made it clear you want nothing to do with him. All you ask of him was to finally leave you alone and yet he continues to persistently pest you. Your will power proved itself mighty to be tolerating his nineteenth call in five minutes.

It was your ex being a stubborn son of a bitch who has a lot of time in his hands, constantly asking you to pick up the phone and let him 'smooth out and explain' his recent relationship with his 'friends' behind your back. You were nowhere near stupid, nor gullible after joining the mob. despite your outward appearance as an innocent, average civilian you've hardened over time with the help of your career and turning your feelings off was no longer a challenge. Over time it simply became a light switch.

After his recent actions came to light, you bear to hesitation to break it off. For a moment you felt guilty when he gave his explanation to why he started seeing other people without you knowing; of course you knew what you were getting into when you signed your soul away to the devil to work in this line of career, you were constantly faced with death and lacked the time to spend time with him. He had no knowledge about what you do for a living, but you knew how to make it clear you were never going to be a simple one-call-away. But over time you've finally gained some self-worth and self-preservation to see through his guilt tripping, before you dropped his ass.

Now you were here, rejecting his calls before pocketing it back in your pants before resuming the movie night. Even putting the phone on silent it continued to bother everyone around you as you continued to nonchalantly press the reject call button.

How can you be this patient, the rest of the team questions but the answer lay before them. Risotto hired the timid assassin with potential for their unwavering patience and swift wits to wiggle them selves out of severe situations, something the time could use to be honest especially when you have a ticking time bomb with no timer and goes off at random. Perhaps the question would be simply answered with a short and simple one: "It's just Y/N being Y/N."

With the pestering phone calls bothering you for the past few days, your team can't help to be annoyed on your behalf and would like to chuck your phone into the deepest trench of the ocean and buy you a new one.

Much to everyone's chagrin, they watch you pick your phone up, however, what you did next was new and unexpected. Instead of rejecting the call, you finally picked up. Most of the time you'd politely greet, but today was certainly different. As soon as you picked up the phone, you wasted no breathe to speak and cut to the chase. All eyes turned to you, some were concerned, curious, shocked, or proud.

"Can you quit blowing up my phone, dude? Twenty FUCKING calls every second is getting tiresome. If you're calling me to 'explain' to me how you're not meeting your hookups then fuck off and get lost! what? Do you miss your personal ego booster? Well then fuck you, go try and choke on your own dick! Do you fucking think I'll believe your half-assed bullshit lies and pathetic fucking cries and bitching will win me over? You must be so fucking DELUSIONAL to be thinking you're worth the effort! What? Are you sad that I’m not a passable doll you can manipulate and mold to your liking? Is that it, you crazy son of a bitch? Can't you fucking get a clue that I'm over it? Huh? I couldn't care less about the new lies you've come up with to try and win me over, I'm done! Finished! Tapos! Ho finito! He terminado! Я задолбался! WHAT OTHER LANGUAGES DO I NEED TO SPEAK TO GET IT THROUGH THAT THICK FUCKING NOGGIN OF YOUR’S? CALL ME AGAIN AND I SWEAR TO ALL THINGS CONSIDERED MIGHTY THAT YOU WON’T HAVE ANY TEETH LEFT, DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND YOU FUCKING CHEATER? DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND? Good."

As soon as you finished the call, you calmly set it down with a sigh of relief. Peace at last. You adjusted yourself comfortably on your seat, wanting to watch the movie on display, when you felt you've made yourself quite the spectacle.

“What?”

Formaggio

- “Woooh, they went off!” His initial response was to high-five you for some reason but you accepted, nevertheless. 

- Very shocked and yet enthusiastic at how you handles yourself at the face of a situation like this. Not to mention, the build up! From you trying to tolerate the caller for the past few minutes, before picking up the call and gave them an ass whipping to remember for the rest of his life! 

- He would feel sorry for the person of the other side of the line if it weren’t for the fact he cheated on you, so good for him to be told off.

Illuso 

- “Heh, about time you told him off.”

- Silently supportive at how you handled yourself at the face of a situation like this and admires you for it. It was very entertaining while it lasted, now he just wants to go back to watching the movie. 

- Along that, he was shock that this hidden side of yours came put of nowhere and came out strong, which he thinks is pretty fucking rad. He now thinks back at the times where he gave you backhanded comments and how you managed to keep yourself cool under it... He now reminds himself not to get on your bad side, ever. 

Proscuitto 

- “.... Thank fuck you’re done, I was starting to think about throwing your phone out.”

- Extremely flabbergasted, as he has never heard you speak fluent in profanities, nor raise your voice at the duration of your stay in La Squadra. and addition to that, the fact you leaned on your seat and calmed yourself immediately as if nothing happened. 

- Nevertheless, he feels proud at you for standing up to yourself and standing your ground. You have always been the timid one entering the world of crime and he overlooked your development within this new and risky life style. Looks like his mentoring worked wonders on you and he feels proud of himself. 

Pesci 

- “......” 

- He was too shaken up to speak, he has never heard you be this angry and frustrated before as you’ve always kept calm in every situation and he admires you for that. 

- He is shaken up, sure but it doesn’t really change how he views you. You were still the patient person he has ever met-- he just happen to witness you lose your cool once but he’s sure that this won’t define you. 

Melone 

- “Good for you for getting rid of that guy.” 

- He’s just relieved that you’re finally done with the guy who has been giving Melone weird vibes the moment you told him about your then boyfriend. A few alarm bells rang in his head as you detailed how he acts around you and despite being happy for you back then, Melone was extremely vocal about his concerns. Looking back at it, he feels that his ‘paranoia’ wasn’t far off.

- He isn’t really shock, he’s just happy that you’re standing your ground and establishing yourself as a person who don’t need no one to use as a co-dependent crutch. After being around Ghiaccio, he really isn’t that phased anymore.

Ghiaccio

- “Fucking finally!”

- Similar to Melone, he’s just relieved your done with the phone calls and clingy boyfriend who is a walking-talking red flag. He hated how you didn’t have time back then to hang out with your other teammates just to spend time with your boyfriend to make up lost times, that often lasts until midnight and Ghiaccio can still hear you talking to your phone. 

- Ghiaccio cares about you despite his distant veneer, and wants the best for the people he cares about. So he was happy that you finally broke your relationship of with a guy who doesn’t deserve you. Also, he’s starting to think that your choice of vocabulary all came from him and is unsure whether he should feel proud or not. 

Risotto

- “Oh... Okay, good for you.”

- He blurted the first thing in mind, because he was just so shock at how you responded. He hired you for being so patient and calm at all times and now looking back, he doesn’t really see himself thinking that one day you’ll be going off without stopping to breathe and stutter. 

- Don’t get him wrong, he actually thinks it’s awesome that you stood up for yourself like that, but just give him time to reel back to reality. He just never thought you’d explode that hard. 

Gelato and Sorbet

- “See Sorbet? I told you they’d snap eventually!” 

- The couple was immensely entertained at your empowering speech being quite the ego breaker and worse-fate-than-death threat. They adore it whenever they see a usually timid newcomer becoming unafraid to stand their ground and tell their oppressors off, it honestly feels like a proud parent thing for them to see their baby kid all grown up and kicking people in the guts with their words. 

- If you would want a rebound, they won’t hesitate to set someone up with you who is far better than your dog-faced ex because they know that people are barely worthy for you 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 317: My Boy Was Just Like Me

Previously on BnHA: AFO randomly blew up Lady Nagant as a good reminder of why you should never make a deal with this fucking guy, smdh. Hawks was all “well if it isn’t my two best friends, Deku and Lady Nagant, both of whom I respect and love tremendously.” Everyone was all “??” and Horikoshi was all “shh... just pretend” because it was too embarrassing for him to admit that he forgot to write a couple of set-up flashbacks I guess. Anyway so Hawks got Lady to tell them where AFO was hiding out, and everyone said goodbye to her and Overhaul, who never did get to see his boss (sorry buddy, I’ll send you a vial of my tears in the mail), and headed out to a house in the woods. AFO was all “hello Deku :) :) it sure is fun making you suffer :) :) :) anyways this is a trap”, and blew up the house. Yeah, we all here are getting reaaaaaaaal tired of your shit, AFO.

Today on BnHA: The Hawksquad and Edgeplatoon meet in a warehouse and are all “what should we do about the fact that everything sucks?” Mt. Lady is all “here’s a thought, what if we tried battling AFO with more than six people.” Hawks and Endeavor are all “great initiative, but just a friendly reminder that our friends also suck and would probably betray Deku which would suck further still.” Shouto is all “ANSWER THE PHONE DAD” and Endeavor is all “[IRONICALLY DOESN’T ANSWER THE PHONE].” Meanwhile over in Sadtown, capital of Sadland Prefecture, Japan, Deku is all “All Might, as you can clearly see I am completely fine and good, never been better in fact, definitely not caught up in the throes of an epic mental breakdown which is shutting me down emotionally, anyway so on that note I would like to leave you now goodbye!!” All Might is all “[can’t actually form any words because he’s too distraught].” Fandom is all “o(╥﹏╥)o.” Horikoshi is all “(*＾-’) 乃 [pew pew finger guns and barrel rolls into the darkness].”

sweet jesus lord

this literally doesn’t even look like Deku anymore?? this looks like Dark!Deku who shows up to fight you in that one room in the Water Temple. he looks like he’s about to crawl out of my television set and murder me with his psychic powers good lord

holy shit lmao Horikoshi is really just shrugging his shoulders and resolving last week’s cliffhanger with a single line of dialogue

fire is no one’s weakness. idk what other options you’ve got, AFO, but you’re gonna have to go back to the drawing board. maybe try bees or something. I’m just saying. we’re all expecting fire at this point but nobody is expecting bees

anyway so now they’re all sitting in some warehouse somewhere chatting about it I guess. shoutout to Horikoshi for finally giving my man Edgeshot some more dialogue at long last

well, Edgeshot, to answer your question, she exploded. so naturally she’s fine

nah just kidding, Hawks says she won’t be able to help them out much because she’s recovering from being exploded. this is the part where we all ignore the fact that Hawks got set on fire for like a full ten minutes back during the War arc and was only in the hospital for a day. anyways enjoy your temporary plot hiatus Nagant

man there’s a lot of dialogue here and I’m trying to figure out where to insert commentary but it’s kinda difficult lol. basically, Edge and the others are saying that they should gather up the other remaining heroes and get them all caught up on the whole OFA situation. which, hmmmm

like on the one hand, these guys definitely aren’t going to cut it on their own, so it’s a reasonable suggestion on the face of it. but on the other hand, do we really want to entrust the OFA secret to a bunch of other people, most of whom shat the bed during the War arc to be quite frank? is it really worth the additional risk? especially given that any one of them might go spilling the beans to the public -- or worse, betray them to AFO??

also just a quick side note here, Mt. Lady’s character development never ceases to delight me. she’s become so committed to her responsibility as a hero these days, and it fucking suits her. I genuinely consider to be one of the elites now. I mean it doesn’t hurt that all the other elites are fucking dead lol but still

wait what? Death Arms retired??

Death Arms as in the guy who was too afraid of a little fire to try and save a terrified 14-year-old kid who was slowly suffocating right before his eyes?? that Death Arms???? color me surprised. shocked, I tell you

...okay but holy fuck

Death Arms. bro. my expectations for you were low but holy shit. like I’m sorry, but I don’t even have it in me to try and pretend like I feel the slightest bit of sympathy for him or Old Man Samurai or any of those other guys today. thanks for a whole lot of nothing my dude. good riddance

(ETA: so I’m rereading this the next day and realize this comes off as kind of harsh, so let me just try to clarify. it’s not the fact that he’s quitting that bothers me, to be honest. it’s the fact that he’s quitting specifically because he feels like the public is being mean to him. that’s it.

seriously. it would be one thing if he was quitting because he was scared, because now that is human. nobody wants to die, and I doubt any amount of training can ever fully prepare someone to go up against that fear. but the thing is, he never once mentions that, or talks about the danger aspect. instead, I got the distinct vibe from this speech that Death Arms is one of those people who only became a hero because of the limelight. and I just don’t have any patience for that. if all you care about are likes and subscribes then go become a fucking youtuber or some shit. nothing wrong with that! but you didn’t; you signed up to be a hero and protect these people. they gave you their respect and admiration because they trusted you to protect them. and now that they’re no longer in the mood to worship and applaud your every move on account of them being scared shitless because they’re living in the literal end times, you decide to dip. so like okay, fine then. don’t let the door hit you on the way out. anyways lol sorry for the rant.)

anyway so yeah. perfect example of why I don’t exactly have a ton of faith in most of the remaining heroes out there lol. also let me just once again give a shoutout to my best girl Mt. Lady whom I suddenly find myself appreciating all the more

“please calm down makeste. drink some water and enjoy this fresh new jeans pun” listen Horikoshi don’t tell me what to do dammit

fine. it is a nice pun, I guess

-- damn so now Endeavor’s saying that the media is already being fed info by the retired heroes. so for some of these guys it wasn’t enough for them to abandon all the people they swore to protect and to leave their fellow heroes out in the cold; they decided they might as well actively make things worse for them while they were at it, huh. like I get wanting to spill all the dirty secrets from your old job that you just quit, but this isn’t Jeff Bezos you’re screwing over, this is a sixteen-year-old kid

-- like, yes!! this, right here!!

exactly!! let’s not forget that there are already two prior instances of this happening. Endeavor arguably deserved it, but Katsuki not so much

huh. Endeavor seems to have a more optimistic outlook regarding this than I do lol

I mean, this is the same public that didn’t hesitant to blame a kidnapped child for his own kidnapping, and then later on for being the downfall of the Symbol of Peace. but okay then

anyway so blah blah blah, more talk about how they need to use Deku as bait, which basically puts them back at square one, and then they’re all just trailing off into silence and sitting around in the dark lmao this is getting very depressing

SKDJFLSDKJ:LFKJ

SHOUTO?????

NOOOOOOOO ARE YOU KIDDING ME

OH HOW THE TURNTABLES OMG. THE GHOSTER HAS BECOME THE GHOSTEE. Endeavor you petty son of a bitch. and what a brutal cut to that flashback too. “let’s stop Touya together” nah Shouto I’ve got a better idea why don’t I abandon you in U.A. and sally off with Hawks and Jeanist to found the “let’s pretend like we’re doing something to help Deku” club, which basically consists of us sitting around making terrible decisions all day long

Shouto, honey. you deserve better my little Coca Cola can. .........but if you really do have something important you need to tell your dad you could just text it to him. all the love and support, hugs and kisses, you’re doing amazing sweetie. but if you need to pass on any vital information you can just write it down and hit send honey that’s all I’m saying love

now he’s getting another call?? -- or, no, Hawks is getting a call from All Might

ARE YOU FOR REAL HAWKS OMFG

so while you all were sitting around talking about how useless you are, the kid you’re supposed to be protecting was battling another hired gun. I see. please pardon me for one second, I have a phone call to make. the phone call is to RockLockRock and Manual. the reason for the call is to apologize for calling them the worst bodyguards ever back during the War arc. the reason for the apology is because it turns out I WAS SEVERELY MISTAKEN OMFG

JESUS CHRIST DEKU DID YOU JUST KILL THIS MAN LMAO

shoutout to Horikoshi for offscreening this fight. we get it, lol. Deku strong and scary, villains ineffectual and feeble, and AFO... [checks notes] yep, still a dick. the angst arc continues

-- the angst arc continues, SIR

jesus christ I may have to rethink all of my opinions about Deku being framed for murder in movie 3 lmao. never mind. he did it, your honor

holy fucking shit Deku. “he might blow up, so please be careful” fdlskjflk jlskdjflk lwkejflk anyway so I’ve decided the explosion running gag can stay, actually

DEKU WAIT YOU FORGOT YOUR LUNCH!!

lol why do I get the feeling some serious shit is about to go down. ALL MIGHT NEVER MIND BACK OFF I THINK HE NEEDS HIS SPACE

OH MY FUCK I GASPED OUT LOUD

NO NO NO. I KNEW THIS WAS COMING GODDAMMIT BUT NO. NEVER MIND, I CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT IT, I’M NOT READY TO CRY TODAY

shit. shit shit shit shit and OF COURSE all I can fucking think about is that stupid fucking prophecy and gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Deku please. please please please if you really are going to leave All Might here, please be so very careful in choosing your farewell words to him now because have this sudden horrible fear that this might be the last time you ever see him alive and oh god. oh god oh god

DEKU NO, YOU’RE REALLY NOT!?!?

I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE LESS FINE IN MY LIFE, ACTUALLY????

holy shit. and the fucking callback to the prophecy now. just in case we forgot. WHICH FYI, WE DIDN’T. but that’s basically confirming that this is all still very much on the table and HORIKOSHI NEVER FORGETS oh my god someone please hold me

and the fact that Deku’s flashing back to it now too, though?? because he never forgot either, because of course he didn’t, and now all this stuff is happening, and AFO’s words are getting to him, and this is literally his worst fear come to life and so of course he’s distancing himself from everyone, and now it’s finally come to even this. even the person he admires most

-- OKAY NO, FUCKING COME ON ALREADY I CAN’T TAKE THIS

I GET IT OH MY GOD, I ALREADY UNDERSTAND THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF THIS MOMENT WITHOUT ALL OF THE DEVASTATING FLASHBACKS THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!! YOU ACTUALLY DO WANT ME TO CRY, HUH, IS THAT IT. THIS MAN THAT HE THINKS OF AS A FATHER, THIS MAN WHO HAS BEEN EVERYTHING TO HIM SINCE HE WAS A VERY YOUNG CHILD. EVERYTHING THEY’VE BEEN THROUGH, JUXTAPOSED AGAINST EVERYTHING DEKU IS UP AGAINST, EVERYTHING THAT’S AT RISK. LET’S JUST PUT IT ALL SIDE BY SIDE. LET’S JUST PILE ON ALL OF THE FEELS

(ETA: just a quick note that even though some of the posts I’ve read have described these as All Might’s flashbacks, I’m pretty sure they are Deku’s. most of these are scenes that only he was there for, so yeah. even though All Might is the one thinking the thoughts on the next page, the flashbacks are what’s running through Deku’s mind right now, and so we’re getting that emotion from both of them, which makes it extra devastating lol.)

wait, what???

WHAT??? do you really think that’s why he’s been so determined to protect you this entire time?? simply because you’re his successor?

-- oh no wait lol I think I got that mixed up, this is All Might saying that Deku feels the need to protect him. well that makes more sense lol

oh my god I cannot

his last words. his last words to him. and we can’t even see if he is smiling, like All Might always encouraged him to do. but what are the odds he can’t actually bring himself to do it. what are the odds he’s actually crying. oh god this scene is going to rip my heart out and STOMP on it in the anime isn’t it. Deku’s VA is going to full on murder me with emotion. not that there’ll be much of me left to murder after the thorough job that Horikoshi has already done here

YOU’RE CRYING. DEKU IS LEAVING ALL MIGHT AND IGNORING HIS OUTSTRETCHED HAND AND YOU’RE CRYING. AND BY “YOU” I MEAN “ME”, FUCK

nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope no words just feels just a big ol’ pile of feels. I do not have the strength. future me... [broadly gestures] good luck with all that

(ETA: LOL, WELL THEN.

what breaks my heart here is All Might. All Might, and everything he’s been through, and history repeating itself, and forcing him to live this moment from both sides because he wasn’t strong enough to fix things.

Toshinori had only just turned eighteen when Nana died. like, I feel like we don’t mention this enough. the All Might we know is a sixty-something-year-old man, and so everyone always talks about him like he’s basically been an adult forever. but he was a child when he met Nana. and he was still just a child when she died. barely a year older than Deku is now. younger than Mirio was when we first met him.

and we don’t talk about that. we don’t talk about how devastating that was for him. and we don’t talk about how the reason he grew up to become so reserved and withdrawn -- for all that he always tried so hard to outwardly project the image of a bold, confident, smiling hero -- was specifically because of what AFO did to him. because AFO targeted him in the exact way that he is now targeting Deku. because that’s what he does. he goes after every new user of OFA, and he finds out what’s most important to them, and then he destroys it. and for Toshinori, that was Nana. if you’ve read All Might Rising, you know that AFO basically killed her in front of him (and only killed her, while letting Toshinori and Gran get away). Toshinori (while crying) later says she was like a mother to him. and interestingly enough, during this same conversation, Gran tells Toshinori that he can see “that madness in [his] eyes” when Toshi talks about becoming strong enough to defeat AFO. madness in his eyes. sound familiar??

what’s happening to Deku now is the exact same thing that happened to Toshinori when he was a boy. AFO tried every bit as hard to break him as he’s trying with Deku now. “the path you’ve chosen is a thorny one. every battle grinds away at your soul with no end in sight.” we don’t talk about how Toshinori experienced this same thing for forty fucking years. and all the while isolating himself, exactly like Deku is doing now. pushing people away, exactly like Deku. because he never had anyone who was able to reach out and pull him back. and those words that he now finds himself frozen and unable to speak -- “don’t push yourself”; “you can rest” -- are the same words that no one ever said to him until decades later, when it was already far too late to make any difference.

everything that Deku is experiencing now is what Toshinori also went through. and it’s only now, as he watches it happen to his student, the boy he loves like a son, that he’s finally starting to realize the full extent of how wrong it was. you shouldn’t have to fight alone. you shouldn’t have to bear that kind of enormous burden alone. you shouldn’t have to push yourself, and you can rest. you can rest.

but it’s too late. just as he’s finally coming to understand it all, it’s all too fucking late. and he can’t say the words, he doesn’t know how to say the words, and then just like that, Deku is gone.

and he’s alone. again.)

I can’t. this can’t be their goodbye. I’m not ready. for this to be how they finally part, and then they never see each other again except in OFA. how is that fair. how is that fair. how is that fair

fuck me. lol. how many pages are left in this thing. let’s just wrap this up lol. so now of all the times for this fucking guy to finally show up

I can’t believe Stain has been here literally this entire time hiding behind this random wall and cutting onions. that was you who was cutting the onions, right. no need to answer that we’ll just say it was

HORIKOSHI JUST END THE CHAPTER PLEASE I’M OUT OF SPOONS. YOU HURT ME SO GOOD AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT BUT YOU NEED TO LET ME GO NOW SO I CAN BEGIN THE PROCESS OF TRYING TO PUT MY LIFE BACK IN ORDER HERE. SO WHERE ARE WE CUTTING TO NOW WHAT IS HAPPENING

Stain did you also let AFO give you a new quirk. what’s with you guys. do you like blowing up

oh nvm lol because they were talking about THIS GUY ohhhhhh my fucking god

THAT’S BECAUSE HE’S SAD, LINDA!! jesus

omfg. and so yes, good, the chapter is ending here now on page 15. for once I am FULLY on board with that lmao

anyway so tune in next week for more adventures of Werewolf Deku!! that is, assuming we don’t finally cut back to U.A. at long last, which is actually a strong possibility considering that this chapter will likely mark the end of volume 31. it sure wouldn’t kill Horikoshi to start giving us some hope after everything he’s just put us through lol. KACCHAN COME GET YA BOY

[pro-fangirls-unsocial-life]

HEAR ME OUT: KIX BUT WITH MORE TATTOOS, I WANNA TRACE THEM 🥺👀🥵

DUDE YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE. (Am I going to become the tattoo blog cause I am totally ok with that lmao) Also sorry that this took so long to finally get to you. Things have been so crazy the past few weeks and I needed a bit of time to sort stuff out (and move hooray!!) and I just want to thank you so much for your patience❤ Also... this kind of got away from me. So instead of the drabble I originally had planned you are getting a 4131 word fic. I hope you enjoy!! (Also a bit of a side note, I plan on doing a smutty sequel to this in the future so... say what you will about that lol)

Also a HUGE thank you to @captainrexisboo for all of your help on this. I never would have gotten this finished without your unbelievable support.

Medical Canvas

Kix x Reader

Warnings: brief mentions of injury and the first half is just packed with ✨sexual tension and steamy stuff✨

How Kix had talked you into sparing with him, you had no idea. Five minutes ago, you had just been doing your stretches to warm up and now here you were. A sore side from missing an easy block and a small crowd that you could see betting on who would win between the two of you.

 In all honesty, you thought that you had a fair shot at winning. You had managed to get a couple of good hits in and after working alongside the medic for so long, the two of you could practically predict what the other would do.

 “Getting tired yet?” he asked with a smug smile and heavy breaths.

The two of you kept rotating around each other, fists raised in front of your faces and sweat covering your bodies as occasional cheers came from the edge of the mat.

 You let out a sharp laugh. “Not on your life, pretty boy.” You returned his smirk and lunged in, flinging your fists out just for them to be blocked.

 Jumping back, you kept your eyes on him, trying to gauge what his next move would be. “Oh! Well, if you find me so pretty, let’s try to avoid the money maker, shall we?” He gestured to his face, giving you a wink.

 Oh, you knew this game. You and Kix had been playing it ever since you first laid eyes on each other. Teasing and flirting shamelessly with one another while avoiding actually addressing the tension and want that had steadily grown between the two of you.

 The rest of the 501st could see it. How teasing jabs had turned into lingering touches and stolen glances. It was the reason behind the biggest betting pool in the 501st. When would the two of you finally stop being so oblivious to the others obvious pining and just do it already?

 Jesse was the one who would change his bet the most. Every time he saw the two of you interacting, his timeline would change, and this time was no different. He had taken one look at you and Kix on the mat and immediately commed Rex to change his bet to within the next thirty minutes.

 All of this was unknown to the both of you of course. You simply saw it as the guys trying to make some easy money off of each other while you and Kix spared.

 “Ha! The money maker? I’d say those gorgeous hands of yours would be good enough to get the job done for you.” You laughed mischievously as you saw more credits being passed on the side of the mat.

 Squaring your stance, you took a deep breath, readying yourself for your next move. Might as well make it interesting.

 Kix chuckled. “Sweetheart, if you want to see what these hands can do—”

 You spun around, bringing your foot to Kix’s side in an attempt at a roundhouse kick. But he was too fast. He grabbed your leg and wrestled you to the floor, straddling your waist. The wind was knocked out of you as your back hit the mat and before you knew what was happening, Kix had your wrists pinned above your head, his face just centimeters away from yours.

 He angled his brows at you and gives you a smooth look. “—all you have to do is ask.”

 His heavy breathing fans over your face, alerting you to how close he actually was to you. You could smell him. The earthy musk that all troopers seemed to carry that mixed so perfectly with the sterile scent of the medbay to create an intoxicating aroma that you just had to breathe in, replacing the dingy smell of the gym that you had grown to ignore.

 The weight of his body is keeping you flat against the mat and your eyes go wide as you feel your face start to heat up. Your skin burns under his touch, sending sparks flying through your nerves and not letting your eyes break their lock on his face.

 He stops smiling and his eyes go wide as he realizes the position that the two of you are in. The cheers and curses coming from the edge of the mat are all muffled, not breaking through the trance you had been thrust into as your heart rate spiked into your ears.

 You don’t know how long the two of you stayed frozen against each other on the floor and you didn’t care. All that mattered to you in that moment was Kix and how much you wanted to feel his soft lips against your own. You glanced down at them, immediately bringing your eyes back to his and hoping that he hadn’t noticed your slip up. He was one of your best friends. Surely, he didn’t feel the same way. You didn’t want to ruin what the two of you had.

 You heard him let in a sharp gasp before his eyes bolted to your lips and then back up to meet your eyes. Suddenly, all of your thoughts were halted when he lunged forward, hungrily capturing your lips with his in a burning kiss that had your heart leaping out of your chest.

 The room fell silent as all eyes turned to stare at what was happening in front of them, but the two of you did not care. For all you knew, you were the only people in the universe at that moment. All you could see, all you could hear, all you could feel, was him.

 Something in him broke, causing him to let out a deep moan as his tongue dragged across your bottom lip, begging to get more of the sweet cherry taste of your chapstick that had almost been overpowered by the salty sweat that covered both of your bodies while your hands fought against the hold he had on your wrists. You wanted to touch him, to feel the way his muscles moved as he was pressing up against you and to get more of the buzzing sensation of his skin against yours.

 Kix lets out a deep groan that vibrates throughout his chest, keeping your wrists pinned with one hand and sliding his other down your arm until he is cupping the back of your neck.

 “Stars you two, get a room.”

 Gasping for air as Kix pulled away from you, you turned your head to see Jesse standing over the two of you. A smug, satisfied look plastered across face and his arms crossed against his chest.

 Kix whips his head back to you, his breathing still heavy.

 “My quarters?” you breathe out.

 His eyes darken as a lustful smirk makes its way across his features. “Oh, absolutely,” he growls, pressing a kiss to your jaw.

 He releases your wrists and crawls off of you before running off to get his things from the other side of the gym. You rush over to the edge of the mat, picking up your bag as Jesse trails behind you, the arrogant and knowing grin still displayed on his face.

 “I should thank you. You just made me a lot of money.”

 You turn to him confused. “What?”

 Kix runs back up to you, taking your hand in his and gently pulling you toward the door.

 Jesse starts laughing, bringing his hand down to hold his sides. “I’ll tell you later.”

 With that, you shrug and start walking as fast as you can back to your quarters. As you pass by other troopers on your way there, you see eyes widen as they catch a glimpse of your hand entwined with Kix’s. Faces rise and fall and you see credits being exchanged between a few of the men you pass. You glance at Kix as you lead him through the halls toward your room. “I think that there was a betting ring on when we would get together,” you say with a laugh.

 He chuckles. “Yeah. I was thinking the same thing.”

 You round the corner and finally make it to your quarters about halfway down the hallway. Letting go of his hand, you quickly input the code and the door whooshes open. Pulling him inside by the collar of his blacks, you both immediately drop your bags to the floor as your lips collide.

 Kix reaches behind him, feeling around until he finds the door panel. You hear the locks click and feel his hands trail their way down your body, gently squeezing whatever part of you he can reach as they make their way, until they stop on your thighs. His fingers tap you twice and you jump up, wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck.

 The kiss never breaks as he walks forward, stopping once your back has hit the wall and you let out a small sound at the force of the freezing metal meeting with your hot skin. He breaks away, leaving you gasping for air and missing the subtle minty taste of him as he starts trailing kisses down your neck, stopping at your pulse point to lightly bite at the skin there.

 A small, breathy whimper of his name falls from your lips as his teeth continue to drag across your sensitive skin. You can feel him smirking against you as his hands dip under the fabric of your shirt and slowly slide it up until he gets it off and throws it across the room. “You’re so impatient mesh’la,” he growls as he starts aggressively marking your now exposed collarbone, desperate to push more pleading sounds out of you. His fingers start teasing your waistband sending sparks shooting up your spine as he presses delicate kisses against the tender spot he had just finished making.

 Clawing at his shirt, you start pulling it up, exposing the tanned skin of his stomach. “Off.”

 Chuckling, one of his hands comes up to cup your face, his thumb traveling along the line of your jaw, while the other travels down to your hip, placing it in a tight hold. He fiercely kisses you as your hands continue to try and pull his shirt off. “Very impatient,” he snarls out between kisses. He rolls his hips against yours, pushing a whine out of you. “Patience cyar’ika,” he murmurs against you. “I want to take my time with you mesh’la.”

 You let go of his shirt, bringing one of your hands up to grab his jaw and force his dark eyes to meet with yours, giving you a brief moment of dominance. “Stop teasing.” Your lips crash into his, a lewd moan escaping you at the way his breathing speeds up. You take his bottom lip between your teeth before pulling away and looking into his lust filled eyes. Giving a small tug to the fabric you bat your eyes at him. “And take this off.”

 “Alright,” he teases. “But only because I can’t deny a gorgeous thing like you.” He reaches his hands up and starts pulling the fabric at the base of his head up, exposing his stomach and lower back once again as your lips collide in another bruising kiss. Suddenly, a high-pitched beeping comes from Kix’s bag. Neither of you pay it any attention, too caught up in each other’s desperate panting and shameless moans as you continue to kiss each other until a muffled voice comes from the bag.

 “Hey vod, I know you’re probably busy making Jesse a rich man, but I need you in the medbay. Hardcase and Echo accidentally blew themselves up again and have some legs that need to be set.”

 Kix groans and pulls away from you, his head falling back to look at the ceiling. “I’m going to kill those two.” He gives you an apologetic look before stepping away from the wall, holding onto your midsection as you lower your legs back to the floor.

 Giving you one last kiss, he walks over to his bag and digs around until he finds his comm. “Rex, those two better be dying by the time I get there, or I am going to kill them myself,” he snaps, his jaw clenched in frustration.

 You chuckle, walking over and picking your shirt up off of the floor where Kix had thrown it.

 “Based on how out of breath you sound, I don’t blame you.” He lets out a small laugh. “See you in a minute vod.”

 Kix tosses his comm back in his bag and straightens up before turning to you and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry. Those two—”

 You bring your hand up to rest over his still rapidly beating heart and place a light kiss on his lips. “It’s fine Kix.” You reach behind him and unlock the door, letting it whoosh open. Leaning forward, you settle your lips right under his ear and whisper against his neck. “I’ll be here waiting for you when you finish.” You playfully bite down on the skin under your lips, pressing a kiss on the newly formed mark you had just made before pulling back to face him.

 His eyes widen, and a playful smirk overtakes his features. “Well then, I’ll see you later cyare.” He takes your hand in his and presses a kiss against your knuckles before heading off toward the medbay.

 “I can’t wait,” you call down the hallway after him, smiling at the glance he throws over his shoulder before he rounds the corner and is out of your sight.

 You turn back inside, picking up your bag and starting to put stuff away while you mumble to yourself. “If he doesn’t kill them, then I sure will.”

 *******************************************************************************************

It was about five hours later when a knock came at your door. For some reason, today was the day that everyone decided to get injured so the medbay had been constantly busy once Kix had gotten there.

 One of the mechanics had his arm pinned under a ship when the jack he had it held up with snapped (thanks to the Republic buying cheap equipment). Someone at the gym got a concussion after a spar got a little rough. Some poor shinie had slipped in the mess and cracked his head open on one of the tables.

 Luckily, it was your day off as the on-call medic, so the only things you had to worry about were the reports that were coming across your desk from all of these medbay visits. But that also meant that Kix was getting all of the hard work in the medbay.

 When you opened the door to your quarters, you were met with a Kix that looked dead on his feet.

 “Long day?” Reaching up to trace his features, you gave him a light kiss and gently pulled him inside.

 He nodded, bringing a hand up to rub his face. “I’m so sorry mesh’la but can I take a raincheck? I’m just so kriffing tired and just want to rest right now.” He was tense. His shoulders were pulled up toward his ears and he stood stiffly in front of you.

 You hummed, pulling him toward your bed. “I thought you might be, so I had a better idea.” Giving him a soft smile, you pushed on his shoulders until he was sitting on the edge of your bed. “Take off your shirt. I’ll be right back.”

 He looks up at you in confusion. “Cyare, I don’t think—”

 Pressing a kiss against his lips, you grasp one of the hands he has in his lap and rub your thumb over his knuckles that are rough and dry after a full day of constantly washing his hands. You bring your forehead against his and look into his eyes. “Trust me.”

 Turning away from him, you walk into the small refresher that is attached to your room and pull out a bottle of lotion that smells like fresh honey. You begin walking back out into your room, rolling up your sleeves to your elbows. “I thought you’d be tense so I—”

 You stop dead in your tracks, seeing Kix stiffly sitting on the edge of your bed, his shirt laid out next to him.

 “Cyare? You ok?” Kix stands up and walks over to your frozen form, placing his hands on either side of your arms and rubbing small crescent shapes with his thumbs.

 Your eyes stay fixed on his chest, not leaving it as he stands in front of you. “I didn’t know you had more tattoos,” you squeak out, barely above a whisper.

 Kix looks down at the red medic symbol that covers the entire left half of his chest over his heart before meeting your eyes once again. “Do… Do you like it?” He begins to worry his bottom lip between his teeth, waiting for your answer.

 Your hand comes up and lightly starts tracing the symbol, outlining it and then brushing your fingers over the parts that are filled in, leaving goosebumps on his skin in the wake of your gentle touch. “Very much.”

 He clears his throat, it suddenly becoming dry as you trap him under your stare. “Oh. Y-yeah. I got them not long after I joined the 501st.”

 Whipping your head up, your eyes go wide. “Them?”

 “Um. Yeah,” he stutters hesitantly, bringing his hand up to the back of his neck. “I have a couple on my back too.”

 His back. You shook your head and brought your hand down from off his chest, remembering what you were doing. “Oh. Right. Um, how does a massage sound? You seem tense.”

 He sighs, bringing his hands up to hold your face and lightly kissing your forehead as he angles it forward. “Honestly? That sounds amazing.”

 Pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose, you take a step toward the bed. “Good,” you beam. “Lie down on your stomach and get comfortable.”

 Kix walks over to the bed, slipping his boots off before he crawls up so that his head is near the pillows close to the wall. He grabs one and crosses his arms under it before letting his head come to rest there. He lets out a deep sigh and shimmies a bit before settling.

 You gently press on his lower back. “Is it ok if I sit here?”

 His eyes are closed and for a moment, you think that he has fallen asleep already before he cracks his eyes open and gives you a small smirk. “You can sit anywhere if it means those pretty hands are gonna touch me.”

 Rolling your eyes, you quietly laugh, straddling his waist and squirting some of the lotion into your hands. As you rub them together to heat it up, you let your eyes travel over the smooth expanse of his toned back. His midsection steadily rises and falls with his breath, and there are scars that occasionally disrupt the path your eyes follow up his back. Then, your eyes fall still when they look between his shoulders.

 A grey, Republic cog that sits between his shoulder blades, taking up almost all of the space there and blue geometric markings that come down either side of it and angle away from his spine once they reach the bottom of the symbol. They stop about halfway down his back and break off before a small blue dot ends the lines.

 You begin rubbing the lotion onto Kix’s lower back, kneading the muscles there.

 The sweet smell of the lotion combines with his irresistible scent and the bacta that inevitably made its way onto his pants as you work it across his warm skin, causing you to have to suppress a shiver as you take in as much of it as you can in a single breath.

 He lets out an obscene groan and his eyes flutter shut the second your hands start working their way across his skin.

 You giggle, still working your hands over his back, feeling the tension disappear with your work. “Feel good?”

 He groans again as your hands work their way up his back. “Feels amazing,” he sighs.

 For a while, you work in silence, the only sound being your steady breathing and the occasional groan from Kix when you work over a particularly tense area.

 You squirt more of the sweet-smelling lotion into your hands, making sure to warm it up before running them over Kix’s back once again. “Kix?” Your voice is questioning and soft, not wanting to disturb him if he has fallen asleep.

 “Hmm?” he hums out.

 Trailing your hands over the tattoos on his back, you tap your fingers on them, letting Kix know what you are about to ask. “Jesse and Hardcase?”

 “M-hm.” He lets out a relaxed sigh as your hands begin tracing over the markings like they had with the medic symbol on his chest.

 “Mind if I ask about the story behind them?”

 He cracks an eye open, peering over his shoulder and meeting your stare before settling back down and closing his eyes. “Not at all cyare.”

 You begin to massage the muscles around the tattoos, occasionally stopping to just trace over them.

 “It was pretty early on in the war when I joined the 501st.” He breaths out a short laugh. “Commander Tano wasn’t even here yet. But because I was trained on Kamino as a medic, and because things were pretty rough at the beginning, all of my batchmates were sent to different battalions, so I didn’t really know any of the troopers in the 501st. But Jesse and Hardcase, well, they made me feel welcome and always had my back. We all got here at about the same time and just… clicked. Always knew exactly what the other one needed.” He laughs. “Hell, I probably wouldn’t be here now if those two hadn’t saved my ass more times than I can count.”

 For a brief instant you stop your movements, gazing at the soft smile on his face.

 “They’re my best friends and I know that they’ll always be watching my back, no matter where any of us are.”

 Your fingers lightly trace the tattoos one more time, gracing over every outline and filling in every shape. “That’s… That’s so sweet. I never knew that. I-I mean, I knew that you guys were close, but I just assumed that it’s because you joined the 501st at the same time.”

 He hums. “They have the same tattoos you know. Jesse has me and Hardcase and Hardcase had me and Jesse. We’re all watching each other’s backs. Makes us feel safer, you know?”

 You sit up, trailing your hands down until they are resting on Kix’s lower back. “Well,” you say leaning forward, “I’m glad that they do.” Then, you begin pressing gentle kisses against his skin, outlining the tattoos one final time. “Because it makes me feel better knowing that you’ve got such amazing people looking out for you.” You feel him shudder lightly as your breath fans over his skin and as your lips trail over the tattoos. You start at the blue marking on his right and trail up until you’ve traced the cog between his shoulders, and then back down the left blue marking.

 Placing one final kiss at the base of his neck, you climb off of him and lie down at his side. He turns his head to look at you as he opens his eyes. “How do you feel?”

 His hand comes up to the side of your face, brushing a lock of hair behind your ear. He looks at you with pure admiration as a blissful smile overtakes his face. “Perfect.” He draws you in, brushing his lips over yours and speaking against them with a grin. “I can’t believe that I didn’t ask you to spar sooner.”

 Laughing, you push forward, fully capturing his lips with yours. “Yeah!” you tease. “What took you so long you di’kut?”

 “Shut-up,” he smirks, flipping onto his side and wrapping his arms around you as he pulls you close to his chest. He presses his lips to the crown of your head as your curl up into him. “Would’ve done it sooner if I knew it would have gone so well.”

 You brush your lips over his neck, snickering at the brief shutter it caused before burying your face into his chest. “I’m glad that you did even if that sparring match was unfair.”

 You can feel him smile against the top of your head as he places another kiss there. “You’ll get me next time cyar’ika.” His chest thrummed as a chuckle made its way past his lips. “Who knows, maybe I’ll let you pin me down instead.”

[yes-i-am-happyaspie]

I can't believe that today is the last day of sicktember! I have had so much fun reading all the awesome hurt/comfort, sick fics that I love and I continue to be overwhelmed by the amount of support I receive whenever I post my own work. I have THE BEST READERS EVER. Thank you all!

Without further delay, here is my final @sicktember fic.

Beware the Egg Salad - happyaspie

No Archive Warnings Apply || Rated G || Word Count: 3041 || Peter Parker & Tony Stark, May Parker (Ned and MJ mentioned)

Summary: Peter decides to buy himself some extra breakfast on the way to school. But not wanting to spend too much of his money, he opts to purchase a half-price egg salad sandwich from the corner store. It obviously doesn’t sit well in his stomach and when May is stuck at work, it’s Tony that has to come and pick him up. It goes about as well as you would expect. [TW for Vomiting]

[Excerpt Below the Cut]

Due to his humble upbringing, Peter Parker was frugal. He liked saving whatever money he received and when he did spend it, it was never all at once. Even the smallest of purchases were weighed heavily, and he rarely paid full price for large ticket items. Patience was a virtue and if he genuinely wanted it badly enough, he could wait for it to go on sale. It was something that, like his good manners, had been instilled in him since birth and that wasn’t likely to change.

Due to his age and enhanced metabolism, Peter Parker was perpetually hungry. On an exceptionally hectic day, he could eat a full breakfast and be hungry again less than an hour later. His Aunt May did a valiant job at keeping him well fed and he appreciated the effort. But sometimes, knowing the amount of food he required made him feel unnecessarily guilty. And when that happened, he would eat the food that had been provided to him at home and then stop by the corner store on the way to school to buy a ‘second breakfast.’ Like a Hobbit,' Ned had joked but the term had stuck.

It was on the days he chose to use his own money to obtain an additional meal he would realize that being remarkably frugal and persistently hungry weren’t quite compatible. He would find himself rummaging through the store, picking up various items to compare the cost to the calories and then putting them back again. However, the debate would typically end with him placing something from the ‘daily specials’ rack onto the counter. And on the days that he was feeling particularly indulgent, a bag of gummy worms as well.

Corner store’s prepared food wasn’t particularly good, in general. But since he wasn’t an especially finicky eater, it didn't really matter how close it was to its sell-by date. Food was food and was happy for anything that would take up some of the empty space in his stomach. It was fine. All the way up until the day it wasn’t.

__

It was Thursday morning and even though Peter had already eaten three bowls of cereal before leaving his apartment, he was still hungry. So he walked up to the corner store, looked inside of his wallet and eyed his bank card. But after making a rather large purchase over the weekend, he’d told himself he wouldn’t spend anything else with it for a while. Outside of that, there was an empty Starbucks gift card and the two twenty dollar bills that Tony had insisted on giving him a few days prior. It had been his intention to deposit it into his account but seeing as he’d yet to get around to it, he figured it wouldn’t hurt to spend a little bit of it.

With that in mind, he gathered a deep breath in through his nose and stepped into the store, smiling. “Good morning, Mr. Sundar! Got anything marked down yet today?” he pleasantly inquired as he came through the doors. The older man gestured towards the cooler box near the front and Peter skipped towards it. It took a moment to pinpoint what the storekeeper had been referring to but after shuffling a few things around he found several egg salad sandwiches wrapped in cellophane and adorned with a bright orange, fifty percent off sticker. “Bingo,” he whispered to himself and then hurried towards the register to pay.

Peter sat in the seat at the back of the overcrowded train, promptly opened the sandwich and took a bite. It wasn’t horrible. The bread was a little dry and the egg salad was a little tangier than he would have liked but he didn’t think much of it. There wasn’t really any time to. There were only three stops before he had to hop off the train and high tail it the rest of the way to school on foot.

In fact, by the time he'd skidded into his classroom, just in time for the bell to ring, he’d forgotten about it completely. That is until his lower abdomen began to cramp about half way through the lesson. At which point, he was starting to think that perhaps egg salad wasn’t the best way to start your morning. It had seemed reasonable at the time. People eat eggs for breakfast. It was normal. Just not covered in mayonnaise and maybe vinegar? He wasn’t sure. He’d not bothered to read the label.

“Are you okay, Dude?” he heard Ned whisper.

Having not realized he’d had his face scrunched up in mild distress until that moment, Peter took a second to school his features before nodding his head. “Yeah, man. Just- missed the bottom part of the last slide. I didn’t get to write it down,” he easily lied. He’d unintentionally stopped taking notes within the first few minutes of class.

“Oh, that’s easy,” Ned replied. “You can copy mine during lunch.”

Peter thanked his friend with a weak smile but in reality, he was starting to wonder if he’d make it to lunch. Nausea was starting to accompany the cramps, and he was having to periodically swallow just to remind his stomach where it belonged.

[Continue Reading on AO3]

[capcarolsdanver]

A Christmas Carol

Summary: You’re left with the disappointing fact that you will likely be spending yet another Christmas without your girlfriend, Carol Danvers. Your friends offer you support, but all you really need right now is your girlfriend to return from space to be with you for your favourite holiday. Can you count on a Christmas miracle? Pairing: Carol Danvers x Reader A/N: Well... it’s not quite Christmas still, but I severely underestimated how busy I would be over the holidays, so please enjoy this late Christmas fic! Feedback is always appreciated so please let me know what you think! Please do not repost any of my writing anywhere else without my permission.

The annual Avengers Christmas get together is in full swing, and your eyes sweep out across the room to all of your closest friends around you. Of course, everyone’s having a great time, and the open space of the large party hall at Avenger HQ is full of laughter and joyous chatter amongst the guests.

Thor, who still doesn’t exactly understand Christmas, just seems happy to get to spend time with his favourite people. He brought along a generous supply of Asgardian alcohol for those who have what would be classified as a very high tolerance to alcohol, so as expected everyone is in a very joyous mood.

You yourself had found a spot on one of the couches surrounding a small table and had barely moved the whole night, feeling more in the mood to spectate in the festivities rather than participate this year.

Not to say that you’re sitting on your own in some miserable slump, because you are genuinely trying to enjoy everybody’s company, but you can’t deny the Carol-sized void that is particularly evident anywhere you go. Especially during the holidays.

As if to emphasise it, Steve, who’s sitting opposite you from across the small table, catches your eye.

“So, Y/N. When’s your lady coming home?”

He asks you kindly, with a warm smile, as Steve always does. Despite this, you can’t help it when your own smile falters and everyone sitting in your immediate proximity grows quiet, regarding you with sympathy.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Steve rushes to say when he seems to realise his mistake.

“No, don’t be,” you’re quick to reassure. “I knew what I was getting into when I started dating Carol. I can’t exactly expect space crime to conveniently stop in time for the holidays, can I?”

You choose not to bring up that this will be the third Christmas in a row that you have to spend without Carol, but you still feel the pity practically radiating from every person in the group.

“Okay, who else thinks it’s time for shots?” Sam yells loud enough to be heard over the music by everyone, and the group seems to loudly agree. You remind yourself to thank Sam later for successfully shifting everyone’s attention from you.

Everyone scrambles to each grab a shot. You remain seated on the couch, and moments later Nat takes her own spot on the couch next to you and presses a shot glass into your hands just in time for everybody to simultaneously start counting down from 3.

Somewhere between shouting and cheering, everyone downs their shots, and you all seem to collectively wince. You and Nat both grimace at the burn of the alcohol and it manages to get a chuckle from you.

Nat drops her shot glass on the table before she turns to face you again.

“So. Real talk,” she raises an eyebrow as if warning you not to try to back away from the conversation. “When did you last speak to Carol?”

“A couple weeks ago,” you admit, sighing. “She left on some mission about a month ago. But you know how it is when she’s working up there. It’s so hard for either of us to contact the other.”

Nat smiles sadly. “I’m sorry.” She pats your knee and you shrug at her, though you feel like you’re able to let your guard down a bit now that everyone else in preoccupied.

“Yeah, it sucks,” you let out, feeling Carol’s absence hit you all over again. Your eyes fill with tears that threaten to spill over.

Unexpectedly, and uncharacteristically, Nat pulls you into a hug. You give yourself little time to think about her rare show of affection before you gratefully wrap your arms around her and rest your chin on her shoulder.

“Did she tell you how long the mission might last?”

You shake her head. “No, she just said she might not be able to contact me until she was done.”

“Okay, I think you need another drink,” Nat says, releasing you from her arms. “I’ll be back.”

You quickly wipe at your eyes at the chance of any rogue tears that managed to fall and smile at her before she stands up and heads towards the bar.

————————

On the morning of Christmas Eve, you wake up with a start to some kind of commotion going from somewhere outside the room. You quickly survey your surroundings, remembering that you had decided the previous night to just stay at Avengers HQ after the party, like almost everyone else had. You’re in your old room that you used to live in before you and Carol had moved out together.

The commotion that had woken you up appears to still be going on if the shouting from somewhere outside your closed door is any indiction, so you begrudgingly get up to go investigate.

You follow the loud intrusion of sound into the kitchen, where you aren’t all that surprised to find Bucky and Sam shouting and gesturing wildly at one another.

“Dude, don’t lie. You literally stole my pop tart straight from my plate!” Bucky looks livid. Opposite him, Sam throws his arms out away from his body, matching Bucky’s outrage.

“You have no proof, you moron.”

“Why do I need proof when there was no one else around? It couldn’t have been anyone else.”

You continue watching their exchange, entirely unsurprised that they are blowing up over something as small as a pop tart. You’re half considering just heating another pop tart to shut them up when Nat leans on the wall next to you, taking a sip from her steaming mug of coffee while her eyes also land on the boys.

“Bet you’re glad you don’t wake up to this kind of thing everyday in that fancy apartment of yours, huh?”

“You can say that again,” you laugh. Though, of course, you probably do prefer waking up to these regular early morning antics from the boys than to the empty silence of your apartment whenever Carol isn’t there with you.

“You’re still coming with us to look at Christmas lights tonight, right?”

To be honest, you’d completely forgotten about Steve’s plan for you all to go on some Christmas light trail that night, and although Christmas is generally your favourite holiday, you find yourself not really in the mood to celebrate it this year.

But then again, anything to take your mind off of Carol’s absence sounds appealing to you right now.

“You bet.”

————————

You trail the group, looking around you at all the incredible Christmas displays people have decorated their homes with. There was absolutely no denying how beautiful the entire street is, but as much as you try you just can’t seem to get out of your own head.

Steve’s leading the group and you can hear them all excitedly chatting, pointing out particularly well decorated houses, but you’re content to linger towards the back of the group and take everything in on your own. You know you’re lacking the Christmas spirit needed to participate with them right now, anyway.

A solid hand is suddenly falling around your shoulders, successfully shaking you from whatever broody train of thought you were on as you almost jump out of your skin. Your head snaps to the person you were now attached to, seeing Thor’s wide smile. He tugs you closer to him in an almost brotherly fashion.

“Lovely night, isn’t it?”

“I suppose it is,” you manage, after your heart beat finally slows back down to a normal rate again.

“Ah, you’re yet to hear from Carol, I presume?” Thor asks. You’ve gotta give him credit. As much as he’s completely enthralled by the Christmas lights surrounding you, Thor can still pick up on your solemn mood with remarkable ease.

“You presume correctly.”

You see Thor hesitate for only a moment before he speaks. “Might I offer a few words, Y/N?”

“Sure,” you say, sighing. What could you lose from hearing what he has to say? Plus, the Asgardian usually provided you with some pretty solid advice.

“Please give Carol a little patience. I know firsthand how difficult it can be to communicate with you all while I’m not here.” You soften at Thor’s words, not even aware of how tense your body was. “You all are my family. And it hurts when I’m unable to talk to any of you whenever I’d like,” he explains. “So, please just remember that Carol is likely just as anxious to speak with you as well.”

“Right,” you say more to yourself. Thor’s words somehow do make you feel some kind of comfort in the fact that Carol wasn’t choosing to go so long without talking to you. Not that you thought she was, but the reassurance helps.

Thor squeezes your shoulder in comfort and loosens his grip from around your shoulders, but before he can leave your side again you grab his arm.

“Thank you, Thor,” you say sincerely, and he gives you an understanding smile before leaving you to your own thoughts again.

At some point a little later, Steve seems to notice from his spot at the front of the pack that you’re still lagging behind, because he drops his pace to fall into step with you.

“Are you having a good night, Y/N?”

“Yeah, it’s nice,” you smile. As distracted as you’ve been, it’s hard to miss how much fun the others in your group are having. “Thanks for organising this, Steve.”

He returns your smile and nods. “Well, for most of us, we’re all we’ve got. I figured it was time to start making some traditions of our own.”

“Well I like that sound of that,” you say. You really do appreciate everything Steve does for every single one of you, and he was right. You are family. Personally, if it weren’t for the Avengers, you would have no one else. You know the same applies for many of you, the man you were currently talking to included.

“Hey, listen,” Steve says in a considerably more careful tone. “I wanted to apologise again for bringing up Carol last night.”

“You have nothing to apologise for,” you reassure him, shaking your head.

“I know, but-” He shrugs. “I just feel bad about bringing her up when we were supposed to be getting into the Christmas spirit last night. I mean, what is this, your second Christmas without Carol?”

“My third, actually,” you mutter, clearing your throat and dropping your eyes to the pavement in front of you.

“Shit, here I go again,” he curses, watching you. “I’m sorry.”

“Steve, stop apologising,” you say firmly. “Seriously, you’ve done nothing wrong.”

You take a scan of your surroundings. The street sign catches your eye and you realise you’re only a few blocks away from your apartment, which sounds like an awfully appealing place to be right now. You were exhausted from your previous late night, plus, what little Christmas spirit you did have has been all but spent this far into the Christmas light trail.

“Oh, you know what? We’re pretty close to my apartment. I think I might call it a night.”

Steve’s eyes widen and his features settle into a look of guilt. “You aren’t going to come back to HQ with the rest of us?”

“Nah, I think I just want to head home. I’m pretty tired.”

“Oh man, I totally ruined your night, didn’t I?” Steve shakes his head at himself, his look of guilt deepening even further. “I can’t believe I brought Carol up again.”

You interrupt Steve’s inevitable continued apologies before he can even start.

“Steve, no. My brain was never going to turn off tonight, anyway. It wouldn’t matter if none of you mentioned Carol the entire day, I still would have thought of her.”

Steve looks fairly unconvinced, still clearly internally scolding himself. Though you notice his features soften and eventually he nods.

“Do you need someone to walk with you?”

“I’ll be fine. It’s really not far at all.”

“Alright,” he hesitantly agrees. “But we’ll see you in the morning to exchange gifts and everything, right?”

“Right,” you laugh. “Hey, do me a favour and let everyone else know I left early. Nat would never let me leave a group activity early if I told her I wanted to.”

“No problem,” Steve laughs.

You give his forearm a quick squeeze in thanks, waving to him before you make your way towards your apartment.

————————

You’ve barely even made it a block before your phone starts ringing. You fish it out from your pocket, assuming that it’s Nat, calling to berate you for leaving the group early. Without even checking the caller ID, you answer.

“I don’t want to hear it, I’m not coming back,” you say, not leaving opportunity for the person on the other line to get a word in first.

“Coming back to where?”

The voice on the other line is not Nat. In fact, it’s the last voice you were expecting to hear tonight.

“Carol?!” You practically squeal into the phone, stopping dead in your tracks.

“Hey, baby,” she says and you instantly melt, having gone weeks without hearing her voice.

“Oh my god. Hi,” you greet back, feeling like you could burst into tears at any given minute.

“You okay there?” You can practically hear her smirk and the image of it in your mind makes you smile.

“Yeah, I just can’t believe I’m hearing your voice right now.”

“Well you better believe it, babe, because it’s definitely happening.”

Your brain finally recovers from the shock enough to ask a vital question. “Wait, does this mean your mission is over?”

“Mmhm,” she confirms. “Finished a couple days ago, actually, but this is the first chance I’ve had to be able to call you.”

You can’t help the sudden hopefulness that you feel. If the mission ended a couple of days ago and she was already on her way back to Earth, then it was entirely possible that she could be back within the next day.

You let out a deep breath, your emotions almost getting the best of you. With your mind racing a million miles a minute, you subconsciously start taking some more steps forward. The snow beneath your feet crunches slightly with every step you take.

“Where are you?” She asks curiously, and you assume she’s heard the sounds of your footsteps.

“Uh, I’m on my way to the apartment.”

“Wait, you’re walking to the apartment? Alone?!”

“Hey, I can handle myself,” you chuckle. “I am an Avenger, remember? Besides, I’m only a couple of blocks away.”

“Oh yeah?” Her voices lilts slightly. “Why are you even walking the streets at night, anyway?”

“How do you know it’s nighttime? Doesn’t everywhere look like night in space?” You can’t help but tease and Carol laughs.

“Well, is it nighttime?”

“…Yes,” you admit. “But that’s nothing more than a lucky guess.”

“Uh huh,” Carol replies, and you can hear her smirk through the phone again. The things you would do to see that smirk in person at this moment…

“Anyway,” you interrupt your own train of thought. “I was with everyone up until a few minutes ago. We were out looking at lights.”

“Lights? What kind of lights are so special that you’ve gotta go out in a group to go look at them?”

You’re left dumbstruck for a moment. She surely hasn’t forgotten what time of year it is, has she? You’d only reminded her about a month ago, and she knows how much you love the holiday. You assumed she would have remembered.

“We were looking at Christmas lights,” you clarify.

“Oh. Well now it makes sense,” you laughs. “Isn’t it a little too soon to be looking at Christmas lights, though?”

You’re hit with the fact that she’s actually forgotten what time of year it is. You try to shake off the sudden disappointment, though you’re a little too aware that if she has forgotten the date then she likely hasn’t begun her journey back to Earth just yet either. Which means another Carol-less Christmas for you once more.

“It’s Christmas Eve,” you eventually mutter into the phone.

“It is?” She sounds vaguely surprised at your clarification. “Huh. I guess it’s pretty easy to lose track of time up here.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

“So you’re heading back to the apartment?” She continues on as if you hadn’t just revealed to her that your favourite holiday is mere hours away. You can’t exactly be mad at her, though. As she said, it’s easy to lose track of time while she’s doing important work up in space. “Why not HQ with everyone else?”

“I just felt like being home, I guess,” you explain. “I wasn’t in the Christmas spirit and we were pretty close to the apartment, so I decided to head home early.”

You hear Carol hum in acknowledgement as you use your keycard to get into your apartment building. You start up the flight of stairs leading to your apartment.

“So, when do you think you’ll be back?” You can’t help but ask. Realistically, you have known for weeks that Carol likely wouldn’t make it back in time for Christmas. Though, with Christmas Day only a few hours away, and your short-lived hopes of her returning any day now, the disappointment of her not being here is fresh once again.

“Soon,” Carol says vaguely and you frown.

“Soon? That could mean anything,” you complain. “Don’t you have at least some idea of when you’ll be back?” You can’t help the slight bite to your tone, the frustration of everything seemingly growing by the minute.

You fumble with your keys, your current conversation leaving you preoccupied enough to struggle with the basic task of locating the correct key on your keychain to grant you entrance into your apartment.

“I don’t know, babe,” you hear Carol say and you finally unlock the door, pushing it open and walking into your apartment, slamming the door shut behind you. “Why don’t you tell me?”

Her voice sounds suddenly different, louder, and you twist around on the spot until you’re facing your living room.

You gasp when you see her. Carol is standing beside your Christmas tree. Her eyes are on you and she still has her phone pressed to her ear. The only thing that rivals the bright lights of the tree is her wide grin, bright enough to light up the room all on its own.

Your wide eyes refuse to blink as you look back at her. You’re suddenly all out of words.

You watch as Carol takes one step closer, and then another, until she’s closing the distance between the two of you. The closer she gets to you, the softer her smile grows.

“You’re here,” you whisper into your phone. Carol lowers her own phone, coming to a stop directly in front of you.

“I’m here,” she returns, her own voice barely above a whisper too.

“Hi,” you say dumbly and Carol smiles adoringly at you. She gently takes your phone from your hand and drops it down onto your couch along with her own.

“Hi.”

Before you know what you’re doing, you abruptly tackle her in a tight hug. If she weren’t Captain Marvel you might have been worried about her balance, but she remains steady, wrapping you up in her strong arms.

Without even realising it, tears are spilling out of your eyes and running down your cheeks, and you let out a deep breath you weren’t even aware you were holding, pressing your face into Carol’s neck and breathing in her scent. You feel the lightest you’ve felt in months.

Carol hears your sniffling and takes a step back to look at you. She keeps ahold of your sides.

“You okay?”

“Are you kidding?” You choke out a laugh amidst your tears. “I’m more than okay, Carol. What are you even doing here?”

You still can’t believe your eyes. You can’t believe that the love of your life is standing right in front of you when only moments ago you still believed that she was in outer space.

“What, you really thought I’d let you spend another Christmas without me? It’s your favourite holiday, you know?” She lets go of her hold on your left side to tuck an errant strand of hair behind your ear. “You know how much it killed me having to miss the last two Christmases with you.”

You shake your head in disbelief, completely in awe of the woman in front of you.

“I love you so much, Carol.”

“I love you too.” She barely has time to get the words out before your mouth is pressed against hers in a kiss that’s long overdue. You only pull back for a moment when your smile literally grows too big to continue kissing Carol. You both break into laughter, giddy at the joy of finally being together again.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” You say the words that repeat over and over in your mind. Carol’s intense gaze regards you and she smiles at you sweetly.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

“Merry Christmas, Carol,” you reply before your lips are meeting hers again.

————————

The next morning, you wake up to the sound of Christmas carols playing from the living room and the smell of fresh coffee drifting in through your open bedroom door. You can hear Carol softly singing along to the music, and you smile sleepily.

Nat was right. You’ve never been more glad to wake up to the sounds of your apartment than you are right now.

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

Hey! I've been questioning my gender for, like, two months and a half... And each day I feel more confused. I'm afab and I have contrasting feelings about my gender. When I started questioning, I didn't even know that your gender could be independent from your body. I only knew about the existence of binary trans people, and I'm sure I'm not a binary trans. During these months, I slowly unlearned the biases I had about gender and I tried to define what gender actually is to me. At first I thought I was agender, because I just couldn't put my finger on that so called "gender identity". Then I realised that I have some sort of gender feelings, but it's hard to define them.

I often feel like a mixture of boy, girl and agender. Sometimes I think I'm just a cis girl who's overthinking this. Sometimes I think I'm partially a boy. Sometimes I don't care about gender at all and I just want to be seen as a person. Sometimes I just don't want people to say that I'm a girl. And I hate all kind of gender stereotypes and roles. I've always have.

I usually present pretty masculine. Some days I do that just because I like the type of clothes (and I know that gender expression isn't necessarily gender identity). Some days instead I dress like that because I want to be seen as a male, or as a gender neutral individual. On those days, the way I dress and behave gives me gender euphoria.

One label that could fit is genderfluid. It's one of the first labels I learned about and... Something clicked. The problem is that I don't know if I can use it, because I'm afraid I could be intruding into a community I'm not actually part of. That's because the place where I live is so centered around the binary that, if someone asked me something like "are you male or female?", I would just say female. Maybe it's because it's easier, or maybe it's because in my head I see myself as a female - just for this, not for everything else.

So, I don't know if I'm actually a girl or not. I don't know if I'm nonbinary or not. It's like... I say that I'm a girl to avoid trouble, but this fact of being female feels like a burden most of the time (even though I don't have dysphoria). Identifying as genderfluid, nonbinary, genderqueer feels so liberating instead. It's like I've got the freedom to create my own gender, depending on how I feel. But I'm also scared to identify as those labels, because then I couldn't come out, and I would continue to live in a binary world and say I'm a girl. I already know that sometimes I will mean it when I say I'm a girl, and sometimes I will feel alienated and weird.

Do you have any advice? Thank you in advance for having the patience of reading this :)

Hey, mate, as a dysphoric binary trans man, I am telling you—you belong in the community. You’re not intruding at all—this is your community. Even if you’re not binary trans, even if you’re not dysphoric, if you’re trans, you’re trans. Full stop. You’re accepted here. We love you, alright? This is as much your community as it is ours. You’re welcome here.

If identifying as genderfluid, genderqueer and nonbinary makes you feel happy, use those labels! They make you happy and that’s what matters!

And just a side note, you’re saying that saying you’re female feels like a burden/alienating and weird, and my dude, that sounds like social dysphoria. I don’t know if you’re talking about the misogyny that comes with being a girl, but if you’re not talking about that, then it sounds like it could be social dysphoria.

Social dysphoria is when you feel discomfort and unease when pretending to be the wrong gender and being referred to as the wrong gender. E.g, a trans man feeling uneasy and uncomfy if he’s closeted and someone asks him his gender and he has to lie and say he’s a girl for safety, that discomfort is a form of dysphoria—physical dysphoria isn’t the only type of dysphoria.

If the labels make you happy, go for it friend! And yeah, it sucks that the world is so binary, but the trans community will always love and accept you. There are tons of nonbinary and genderqueer and genderfluid people out there just like you who’ll know what it’s like and you’ll have a community, and as a binary trans man I may not understand your exact experiences but we have shared solidarity in being trans I’ll always love and support you no matter what, alright?  

We’re family here, and I’ve got you, little sibling. You’re gonna be okay, you are valid as you are, you’re allowed to be genderfluid and nondysphoric, you’re welcome here and I know it’s hard being trans in this world but we’ve got your back and we love you, and it’s going to be okay.

I hope I could help you out! Sending all my love <3

- Ryan

[todoroki-waifu]

ayoo! I saw that requests were open so here I am! Anyways can I requests that there's a fem reader that is best friends with todoroki and he's dating (anyone) and one day when class 1a is chilling in the living room having a movie night and a kid from the future time travel there and everyone is confused asf and sooner or later it comes out that the child was todoroki's and the readers child and everyone's like damn cuz yk he has a whole s/o next to him LMFAOSJJ IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO CONFUSUNG😭😭

I’m so sorry this is so late! 😢 Thank you so much for your request! And it wasn’t confusing. This was an interesting one. If I did misinterpret it wrong, I’m sorry! Lol hope you like it ^^ 

Note:  __(u/s) will stand for unknown/unnamed significant other for Todoroki.

Todoroki x F! Reader (kind of?)

Word Count: 1,987

Genre: Angst, slight fluff, sci-fi, maybe a little fantasy? (whatever time travel would fall under)

Warnings: Female reader and Todoroki with a gender neutral s/o.

----------------

Midoriya, Iida, Todoroki, __(u/s), and Jirou were preparing snacks for class 1a's weekly movie night. Iida, Midoriya, and Jirou were the first to leave the kitchen, bringing with them cups, beverages, napkins, straws, and disposable plates. While Todoroki finishes up placing a variety of chips into different bowls, he looks over at his __(u/s).

He smiles fondly at them, walking over to his partner and wrapping his arms around them.

"Need any help?"

"T-todoroki-kun! You scared me." __(u/s) was concentrated on microwaving the popcorn at the correct temperature, afraid of triggering the fire alarm.

"Really? Am I that frightening?" He pouts slightly.

"Not at all! I guess my mind was elsewhere. I wanted to make sure that I didn't burn the popcorn." __(u/s) laughed sheepishly before pecking his cheek.

Both heads turn towards the kitchen entrance when they hear the sound of steps entering.

"Relax! Just me." You saw their slightly stiffened look. They were a fairly new couple so they were still getting used to showing their affection in front of other people. Todoroki and his partner were only comfortable around you, being that you're his best friend.

You've known him for a while and have been there for almost an entirety of his childhood and up to now. He still has yet to tell his significant other about his past, the poor boy afraid of scaring his current lover. 

Well, he'll tell them some day. Just not right now. But that was how much Todoroki trusted you.

He was also so grateful that __(u/s) was comfortable around you. __(u/s) knew of his and your relationship and although they were a bit weary of you in the beginning, they ended up loving you later on. You proved that you retained no feelings for the half and half student and that you had the same intentions as the rest of class 1a. Which was to be his loyal and supportive friend.

"Didn't mean to interrupt. Mina and Toru wanted some ice cream." You quickly went to the freezing, grabbing two tubs of the frozen dessert along with two huge spoons.

"Don't take too long, bestie. I want to get some cuddles with __(u/s), too." You joked as you walked out to the common area.

------

Midoriya saw you approaching the group and was the first to assist you.

"Here, let me get that." He grabs the two cold containers, placing it on the table. "Who wants which flavors?"

He calls out to the gang while a few responded back and you helped the All Might fanatic. Once you finish passing out the bowls, Todoroki and his partner come out with a few salty snacks to add to the menu.

You sat in between Midoriya and __(u/s) on the floor with a plate full of assorted goods. Todoroki and __(u/s) share a bowl of chips and ice cream, the couple feeding each other occasionally. You smile at your best friend, so happy for him.

Although you were a bit jealous that he found love before you. You felt like a third wheel whenever both of them would ask you to hang out.

Oh well. Romance will come whenever the time is right. Besides, you weren't that focused on relationships nor did you really have anyone in particular that you liked.

Your thoughts refocused on the blaring music coming from the TV, indicating the start of the movie. You excused yourself after a while, heading to the kitchen to grab some more water bottles for yourself and for a few.

When you reach the kitchen door, a small swirl of blue energy blocks your way. You watch as the ball of energy expand and white electrifying rays spread from the center. Before you could react, the energized orb immediately explodes, the blast causing you to fall onto your bottom. Not only did you feel the force push you back, but you felt a sudden weight holding you down.

"__(y/n)! Are you okay?" Midoriya and Bakugou are the first to respond to the blast with Todoroki not too far behind them.

"Y-yeah, I think so?" You replied, carefully sitting up. You look down at the weight on your lap, noticing it to be a small child with ___(hair color) hair and a single streak of white and red. When they peer up, you see dark grey and light blue eyes staring back at you.

"Mommy?" The child blinked up at you then smiled brightly. "Mommy! I found you!"

"M-m-mommy!?" You screeched out, feeling the little one embrace you tightly.

"You're a mother?" Uraraka chimed in.

"I didn't know I was one!"

"Mommy, where did your big belly go? Did my little sister finally come out? Where is she? I want to meet her! I'm so excited to be a big sister!"

"Excuse me!? Little sister?"

"You had another baby?" Hagakure gasps loudly.

"How? I never got pregnant! I don't even have a boyfriend nor am I seeing anyone!" You answered her back then sighed loudly. "H-hey kid, ummm, first off, are you okay?" You wanted to make sure this tiny stranger wasn't injured.

"Yes, mommy! I'm okay."

"Alright, well, I hate to tell you this but I'm not your mom. But maybe I can find her for you?"

"What do you mean? Why do you say that? Of course you're my mom!" Her eyes begin to fill with tears.

"It's just kind of impossible. Listen, you said that I had a big belly and you were waiting for your little sister, but right now, I don't have that big belly. I didn't even know you were having a sibling."

"M-mommy, are you-you j-joking? It's not funny! Waah!" Your future daughter begins to cry loudly and you immediately hug her.

"Don't cry! Everything will be alright! We're going to find your mommy, okay?" You look around the room to your classmates, sending them a pleading look.

"Hey man, that's your brat." Bakugou stuffs his hands into his pocket, about to not involve himself in your little dilemma. He didn't have patience for children at the moment.

"Bakugou!" You scolded him. "She's not a brat. She's just lost and scared.  Take it easy on her. And if you want to be a hero, help me find the kid's parents. Isn't that what a hero is supposed to do?"

"I ain't no babysitter!"

"Dude, that's not manly at all! Let's help them out." Kirishima places a hand on his blonde friend's shoulder.

"Time travel!" Midoriya blurts out of nowhere. Once he receives his classmates' confused gazes, he finally begins to clarify. "I think she's really your daughter, __(y/n). She looks a lot like you and she seems really attached to you. She must've came here from the future when that blast happened. That's the only plausible explanation."

"I'm sorry that everything is confusing and scary right now, but I think I figured out what's going on." Midoriya squats beside you and your daughter, placing his hand on her back. Your daughter sniffles a couple times before looking at the green haired boy.

"Uncle Deku? How... how come you're so small?" She wipes her eyes while he could hear a few snickering in the background.

"Yes, well, I'm sure you're noticing that everyone is different. It's because-"

"Daddy!" Your daughter gasps loudly when she finally sees Todoroki. She jumps out from your arms and rushes to the dual quirk user, holding her tiny arms up to him. Todoroki blinks at the child, unsure of what to do.

"Huh? How come you're not holding mommy's hand?" She notices Todoroki's fingers linked with __(u/s).

"D-daddy?! You mean, Todoroki-kun is the father?" Midoriya shrieks at the reveal.

"W-what?" __(u/s) frowns deeply, slowly slipping their hand away from Todoroki. "You mean, you and __(y/n)? But I thought that... "

"Wait, no, that is impossible. She must have me mistaken for someone else. __(y/n) and I do not harbor any feelings for one another nor do we share any children together. Please believe me." Todoroki attempts to grab __(u/s)'s hands, but they back away quickly.

"Yeah! Shouto's right! We're only best friends. That's it. You know that. How can we have a kid together when we're not even a couple? He likes you; not me. I might be single, but I'm really not interested in anyone at the moment."

"Daddy, what is going on? I thought you love mommy?" Your poor daughter was unknowingly exacerbating the situation.

"I... I gotta go." __(u/s) starts to gather their things.

"Please, wait." Todoroki grabs their arm but they pull back suddenly.

"Don't, Todoroki. This is too much. I don't think I can continue this." He tries to plead with them to stay, but __(u/s) shakes their head. "Just, please leave me alone. And please don't contact me. Either of you." ___(u/s) eyes both you and Todoroki.

Your best friend watches sadly as __(u/s) leaves, the room being weighed down by the silent tension. It was only when Denki utters a word that brought back the noise.

"Damn... " The electric hero feels a sudden, sharp jab to his right side. He looks at the source to find Jirou glaring at him.

"Mommy? Daddy?" The little one blinks at Todoroki and then at you, uncertain of what just transpired. You knew your best friend needed space to himself for now so you decide that you would approach him later. Besides, you felt like you were responsible for his breakup. You felt too embarrassed to face him.

So instead, you focus on your little girl, gently grabbing her hand and pulling her to the side. Midoriya begins to explain to your daughter why things were so different and she slowly begins to understand.

-------

Todoroki walks outside of the dorm building, situating himself on the first few steps. His mind tortures him by replaying the scene where his relationship crumbles. He doesn't understand. What could he have done to preserve his romance with ___(u/s)?

But then his mind directs him to his future daughter. Todoroki was a bit angry, yes, but he couldn't blame the young child seeing that she came from a very different timeline. It honestly wasn't her fault.

Then who's fault was it? His? Yours?

No, it was no one's. If he was truly meant to be with you, why wasn't he jumping for joy? Because at this point in time, he was simply not attracted to you. He honestly didn't understand how you two formed a family together.

Then his mind wanders elsewhere.

Would being around you continue to ruin his future relationships? Would he truly be happy if you ended up being his lifetime partner? According to his future child, you two were going to have another one so that had to mean something.

But he didn't love you. 

Yes, he cared deeply for you and you both knew everything and anything about each other, but you and him had a different kind of bond.

Then the thought of sacrificing his friendship with you for the sake of his future relationships began to hurt his heart. But you'd understand, right? Todoroki wanted to find love eventually. He also did want to work everything out with __(u/s).

But would separating himself from you be the right answer? How would that affect the future? He felt so torn. He has a family with you in the future, but his heart does not yearn for you. And you don't love him back like that either.

Right?

As he thinks on his feelings for you, he goes back to when you two were children and when you first met. He remembers almost everything that you two shared together all the way up to the present. 

The arguments. The late night study sessions. The dangerous villain encounters. The hero internships. The cultural festival. The laughter.

Your warmth. Your kindness. Your smile.

His heart slowly starts to beat faster.

But he didn't love you, right?