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#Y'all are valid too!!! I'm proud of you!!!
edwardallenpoe · 6 months
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the last couple months I've felt so disconnected from my kins, only sometimes feeling shifty and I've felt like I wasn't an otherkin anymore, but I felt the sun and warmth again and I was like Oh. It was just the seasonal depression! I always feel super disconnected from myself during the winter months, and sleepy and just plain hollow, but in the warmer months I feel much more alive and feel real and my kintypes feel more connected. So if any other my otherkin friends are worried about feeling disconnected from their kins for any reason, but especially because of the seasons, you're okay, it's gonna get better👍🏽🐻🐺🐶🐈‍⬛🐾
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officer!els<3
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author's note - meow i love this woman.
content warnings - black!coded!reader ig????, fluff, els i love u ellie williams pls handcuff me to ur bed and police-brutalize me! , text msgs from reader that are very me-coded! , mostly just based off every grumpy but cool cop i've seen in media, lots of notes from me i'm going insane I NEED HER!!!!! , there's a white man in a pic i put... you have been warned, smut/suggestive shit at the end!
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- def wanted to be a cop when she was a kid and then was a total fucking juvenile as a teen. (duh!)
- always loved the police officers who barely ever gave troubled kids a hard time. (this is coming from a troubled kid. acab all the way except for u guys. well, still acab, but y'all r cool!) would refuse to talk to anyone except her favorites. i fully believe that's one of the reasons she would go into this workforce.
- when she got approved to start training to be a cop, u were home with her favorite strand of weed and she gave u a look like, "🤨🤨" , "can't be doing that no more baby, i'm gonna be a cop." , "...stfu and take the first hit before you piss me off..." , she's wearing a SHIT-eating grin before she takes it. (don't ask me how she passes her drug-tests!) (probably gets jesse to do it or someone idk maybe joel if she's lucky!) (def not joel...)
- ADDING ONTO THIS!^^ : every single time you smoke when she can't she'll look so sad or just side-eye tf out of you... "really?" , "what do you want me to do ellie..." u stopped smoking around her when she couldn't...
- this woman is so intimidating but once those cop dogs come on the scene she's so cute<3 . she's so smiley and happy they love her AND SHE LOVES THEM. she definitely sent u a picture of her with the group of the babies and was like, "can we adopt them all pls i love them ):" . you guys adopted a rescue pup shortly after...
- whenever you're doing ANYTHING EVER she flashes her badge at you and says something so loser of her , "don't make me handcuff you..." or makes finger guns with the sounds and GOD I LOVE THIS WOMAN.
- speaking of badges, she always has her badge on her. ALWAYS. it is EMBARRASSING!
- when she got her first arrest she was so happy:3 . i FEEL like she took a picture with the fucker and everything and she looked so proud of herself. "good job baby now pls get to the station before that mf breaks out of those handcuffs he looks like he's gonna murder u..."
- this is a headcannon of mine (and canon so why am i saying hc maybe it's just bcs it's more in-depth in my head.) but she loves kids and whenever she sees a younger person at the station, she makes sure that they're ok and have everything they need.
- with that being said, she HATES the teens who don't have a valid reason to be such delinquents. lovable delinquents are her soft-spot but those... THOSE ONES😧.
- definitely is a kitten-saver-cop. hates getting the call but she responds every time.
- sends u this pic anytime u say something mildly threatening to her in text msgs:
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suggestive/NSFW!
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- the day she got her uniform, you wanted to jump her bones. she came back home, poor girl was so tired and all you could think about is how good she looked in that shit.
- like i said... the badge is with her at all times... maybe this is too feral but i feel like she put IT in ur mouth and took a polaroid of it after u were done eating her out or SSAAAWWWWMMMMTHHHIIIIING. (pls let me wear ur badge baby i'm on my knees BEGGING YOU!)
- definitely joked about role-playing jailer/jailed and then it wasn't a joke anymore. y'all tried it once and couldn't stop laughing.
- has definitely used her handcuffs on u or vice versa. she gets so excited when u pull that shit out.
- ggggg...g-g-gu-....gggggggggguuuunnn ki-
- definitely has fucked u in the uniform. u two probs have had a quickie in the station bathroom on multiple occasions.
bonus round - police!els edit<3 :
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The Captain - Simon Riley x Sniper!Reader, Wife!Reader
Part 9
summary: post-mission drinks and another flashback :) call sign: Freyja warning: NSFW, MDNI. Canon typical violence mentioned. Note: WE'RE BACK AGAIN! I'm super proud of this chapter (it may be my longest!) so I hope y'all like it :') Some of you may recognize a scene in the flashback from the original MW franchise, and you would be correct! I used that as a loose outline for a little Ghost/Freyja (pre-call sign) moment A special thank you to @lethalchiralium and @halfmoth-halfman for being the best betas and @peachesofteal for always spitballing. Enjoy and blessed be! << Previous | Next >>
Freyja checked on Arthur in his crib one final time, confirming that the little baby was still sound asleep, before closing the door to her bedroom with his monitor in hand. After arriving home following the gala mission, Freyja relieved Gaz of his babysitting duties and finished putting her son to bed while Simon took the first shower. They quickly swapped out so he could check on Joan and she could wash her makeup off.
As she came down, Soap was already sitting on the opposite end of the couch as Gaz, a glass with a hefty pour of amber liquid in hand. His mohawk was damp, indicating he must have showered in their guest bath. Her husband was leaning back in their oversized armchair, dressed in sweats and a black tee. God, if their friends weren’t there…
Freyja positioned herself between his open legs and leaned down, hands resting on either side of Simon’s head, to briefly press their lips together.
He inhaled softly through his nose and brushed his thumb against her bare thigh. “Mmm,” he hummed, then broke off the kiss. “Hi, love.”
“Hi…” She shifted down to join him, bent legs draped across his lap as she cozied up. “How’s Joan?”
Simon reached his open hand around her knees until it came to rest on her outer thigh. “Sound asleep. Gaz did a good job-”
“Make out!” Soap interrupted, smiling into his glass as he downed his drink. “I’ll give ye a hundred pounds.” 
Her husband sent the sergeant a pointed look accompanied by a signature eye roll.
“No.”
“Awe, c’mon!” Johnny whined, head thrown back. “Ah’ve never seen ye winch for real!”
“I’m not a whore,” Freyja started, raising a brow at Simon. “But a hundred pounds is a hundred pounds. I’ve fucked you in public for less.”
He chuckled softly at that, starting to rub her freshly moisturized leg, drawing circles with his fingertips. “You fuck me in public for free,” Simon pointed out with a long, lingering kiss on her cheek. The motion sent shivers up her spine that she purposefully chose to ignore.
“CLAM UP!”
“You’re the one who asked me to make out with my husband, you perv!” Freyja cried, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation. Simon still had his nose buried by her ear, his deep timber chuckling softly in her ear. Jesus Christ. 
“Because I’m sad and horny and miss my boys!”
Roach and Kӧnig were gone on a mission for two weeks. Two weeks without sex had Soap that pent up?
“Soap, I think you have a problem.”
“And why would I indulge you after the performance you put on tonight?” Simon asked, his touch slowly creeping further and further up her leg. Between her and the chair, his opposite hand settled nicely against the snap of her back.
Valid point. The groping and kissing had been a lot.
“I’m sorry! Ah was just tryin’ tae do you both a favor!”
“Nah, she won’t do it.” Gaz crossed his ankle over his knee, wearing a boyish grin and egging her on. Per usual, for Kyle Garrick. “I know for a FACT he tops. No way Ghost is a bottom bitch.”
“Occasionally.” His nose traced the shell of her ear, and his fingers dipped under her pajama shorts. After their meeting in the gala bathroom, if he kept going on the path he was on–
“He whimpers, too.”
“Liar!”
“You two are insuffer–”
Simon Riley was an expert in many areas, including but not limited to shutting his wife up; firm, dominant kisses usually did the trick. And if they wanted a show…
His free hand left her back to gently cup her cheek, in stark contrast to the tongue prying her surprised lips open and lapping into her mouth. Freyja’s eyes fluttered closed, and she let herself melt into his touch, following his lead. She kissed him back with equal fervor, nibbling at his plush lower lip and lacing her fingers through the hair at his nape. It never ceased to amaze her how easily the man under her could turn her into a puddle, soft and pliable in the palm of his hand.
At least thirty seconds of swapping spit had passed by the time Simon’s hand pushed her bottoms up a bit. What they were doing could barely be called a kiss, treading more on the side of a sloppy makeout session. He pawed at her ass, fingers digging into the stretch-mark-ridden flesh before dragging Freyja into his lap, guiding her to straddle him. Just as she sank her weight onto his hard crotch for some release–
“Oooh, steamy.”
Simon pried himself off her, restraining the urge to moan as Freyja moved down his neck and choked, “Sergeants, see yourself out.”
“Cannae drive, mate! We’re hammered, and it’s just gettin’ good-”
“Then go upstairs,” he all but growled, using his hands to roll her hips against his. The quiet moan against his shoulder wasn’t lost on him. “Cause I’m gonna fuck my wife. Plug your ears while you’re at it.”
Kyle, the intelligent man he was, popped off the couch with a salute and marched upstairs. He had seen what he needed to see and wasn’t keen on watching live-action porn.
“Why cannae you go upstairs?”
Freyja sat back to give herself enough room to grab the hem of her husband’s shirt and yank it up his torso. Her chest was heaving with gentle pants, Simon looking up at her with that cocky smirk of his in response to her desperation. What did he expect, for her not to be horned up after getting tossed around in that bathroom?
“M’goin’!”
“Wise choice.”
The couple kept themselves quiet, allowing adequate time for their guests to get to a safe distance. Another well-placed grind of her damp shorts against his hard cock pulled a sharp sound from the lieutenant, and he hurriedly finished ripping his shirt over his head and tossing it across the room. Freyja couldn’t help the proud smile that pulled at her lips, her chest warming up at the power she held over him.
Several years ago
The lieutenant’s arrival in England was unceremonious. Laswell brought her through to John Price’s office and introduced the two. Strong energy radiated off of him, the presence of a skilled leader. He wouldn’t be difficult to work with; hopefully, she could use her time there to learn a thing or two from the captain that she could use on her track up the ranks. The trio went on a tour around the base, where she met Gary Sanderson – callsign “Roach” – who she became fast friends with due to her affinity for British Sign Language.
Then there was Ghost.
John didn’t offer anything other than the man’s callsign. She found it hard to believe someone of his stature could be likened to anything resembling a ghost, but she had seen crazier things during her service. The black ski mask with a skull print was a choice, but not dissimilar to the black gater she sported at the time.
In the days following her arrival, the lieutenant did her best to bond with her new team members, even though the arrangement was temporary. Roach wasn’t a problem, and even their superior made an effort to get to know her and her ambitions, even her personal life. 
“No call sign?” Price asked, having already read over the file Kate had sent over.
She shrugged noncommittally. “I haven’t found one that fits me yet. I just go by whatever designation I have for the mission.”
“Bravo-one it is.”
Ghost, on the other hand–
The sergeant proved her first impression wrong. How did the giant of a man manage to disappear whenever she entered a room? However, Ghost didn’t always vanish, and she couldn’t figure out a pattern. It was as though he was intentionally steering clear of her presence, but only in certain situations.
She would be correct.
One of the first things the team did was head to the gym to familiarize themselves with the others’ techniques and skills in combat. With Price, Roach, and Ghost already knowing each others’ affinities, that left the lieutenant to showcase hers. Price wanted to give her a challenge, to see how she would handle someone who clearly overpowered her. Ghost was the obvious choice, at six-foot-four and change and two-hundred-plus pounds.
She won the first round, although barely. She was good, and Ghost hadn’t dared underestimate her before stepping into the ring. She’d somehow wrenched herself out of his grip and onto his shoulders, with her thighs locked around his neck effectively enough for him to tap at her hip. Ghost won the second, taking more time than he would have liked to pin the lieutenant on her back, securing her hands above her head and holding her down with his body weight.
He could take the damned heavy breathing and mischievous eyes staring up at him through her lashes. But when “Good job, Sergeant” slipped past her lips and planted itself firmly in his brain, he leaped off the woman as if she was on fire. His cargos did a good enough job concealing the raging hard-on he sported during the rest of the evaluation, but they didn’t ease Ghost’s suffering as he had to stand there and avoid her occasional glances.
While the newcomer was learning the ropes of the base and making friends, Ghost was preoccupied. He was putting in a considerable effort to not think about her; the mask covering the lower half of her face, her pretty eyes above that black mask, her chest in the tight shirt she arrived in–
Pull yourself together.
He was doing well for a while. Ghost made it six whole hours without popping another boner. Then there was the interrogation.
That night, Roach and Price picked up a cartel member from the cell they were trying to locate. The captain paired Bravo-one, her temporary call sign, and Ghost on the interrogation. Hard to avoid me now, huh? she thought to herself as they approached the room, Ghost pausing just before the door. She wasn’t exactly sure what she had done to make him so avoidant, but she couldn’t be bothered much then. They had a job to do.
With a hand on the knob, the man with the skull plate looked over his shoulder at her. “If you’d like to do the talking–”
“No, thank you.”
Ghost raised a brow under his mask, watching her roll up her sleeves.
“No?”
“I can be persuasive.”
She ignored the expression she couldn’t quite place and waved her hand, directing him to open the door. “After you, Sergeant.”
The pair split off, Ghost immediately going to their captive’s chair, the other hovering by the duffel bag in the corner, packed with various tools and weapons. The one she picked up and inspected for any dents or abnormalities made Ghost’s brain twitch. Well, maybe not his brain–
“And who’s the looker?” the stranger asked, licking his lips. “You’d be prettier if you took the mask off, baby.”
“That’s my lieutenant,” Ghost replied, leaning on one of the metal chair’s arms. “She’s here to make sure you tell me what I want to know.”
“And what exactly would you like to know, Sergeant?”
“Easy question.” He leaned down into the dealer’s bubble, close to his ear. “I just want your boss’s location.”
The man whistled lowly, shaking his head as he clicked his tongue. “Now, that, I can’t do,” he said with a shrug. “Unfortunately for you, this routine won’t work for me. The bad cop smacks me around; the good cop comes in with an offer to save the day – been there, done that. Maybe if you sweeten the deal with that lovely piece of–”
“You’re mistaken,” Bravo-one interrupted his monologue, stepping away from the corner and further into their witness’s line of sight. “He’s not the bad cop.” She bent to his level and brought the torch between them before flicking the flame on. Their prisoner’s stoic face quickly soured, and he thrashed against his restraints, making every attempt to escape the blue flame. “I am.”
Ghost found many things attractive, but he wasn’t aware that watching a woman he had just met torture a grown man and make him beg for life (and eventually, his death) would make him so painfully hard. He tried to blow off steam in the gym a few hours later (after jerking off in the shower, fucking minx), but was yet again met with the sight of his partner. Her hair was still damp from a post-mission shower, leaving a wet spot on the back of her t-shirt. This time, however, she had perched herself outside Price’s quarters. She leaned against the open door frame, chatting quietly, in nothing but a t-shirt and incredibly short shorts. Short enough, that the delicious crease where her ass met her thigh was prominently displayed.
Abort, abort, abort–
It was like the man had blacked out until he was safely in the confines of his quarters, back pressed against the now-locked door. He was a panting, flushed wreck under his mask, which he swiftly pulled off and tossed onto his dresser. Every endeavor to catch his breath or slow his heartbeat went nowhere. He decided cracking his skull against the solid wood door might jumpstart his system again and divert his thoughts away from the lieutenant.
Needless to say, that did nothing to appease the throbbing sensation between his legs.
“Bloody hell…”
Nothing a quick wank couldn’t fix. Again.
Price invited her to a local military bar with the rest of the crew, the usual spot for those who stayed on base on a Thursday night. It didn’t take her long to change and hitch a ride with their captain, donning a simple open-knit sweater with a bralette underneath and dark blue jeans. Once they arrived, she immediately noticed Ghost sitting at the end of the u-shaped countertop, tucked against the wall with his hood over his head. She took her time floating around the bar, shaking hands and conversing happily with various privates and soldiers that weren’t on their assignment. The damp air in the space, combined with her breath, made her mask cling to her face; this was a common occurrence, one the soldier had learned to put up with.
Ghost made no effort to approach her, but she wasn’t blind; his eyes followed her constantly. Whether he was being intentionally conspicuous or not, she didn’t know. After their little sparring match (that left a puddle in her underwear), she thought she had felt something shift. Even though she’d only known the man a few hours then, something about the sergeant piqued her interest. His commanding aura, powerful stance, laid-back yet driven attitude–
Or, his monstrous size and muscles. Those were always a plus.
When Ghost had fled from the training facilities, leaving her on the floor, she raised her arms and let them smack against the mat underneath her.
“He’s a tricky lad to get to know. You’ll get there,” Price had said, insisting that his adverse reaction was nothing personal.
Regardless, he wasn’t making a move, and the constant avoidance wasn’t floating her boat.
So, she allowed Roach to pull her to the cozy dance floor on the other side of the bar. Her eyes wrinkled with the wide smile under her mask as she danced with the silent soldier, chest to chest, periodically spinning under his arm. They laughed and danced like carefree fools; she had been nervous about crossing the pond to a new country, partnering up with strangers for such a vital mission. It wasn’t the same as a deployment or going to various countries with her usual team. The cartel could keep her in England for weeks if not months. Most of the people so far had made her feel welcome.
Most.
Still, she allowed her eyes to fall on the one soul who had made it seem like she didn’t belong – on that mission, on base, in the military in the first place–
And found the portion of his face not covered by his balaclava examining her. Ghost was damn good at concealing his emotions; in the few days she’d been graced with knowing him, she couldn’t figure out his thoughts three-quarters of the time. But at that moment, it almost seemed like fury mixed with a…certain softness?
His gaze shifted to her dance partner and darkened, no longer holding what she thought she had seen just a second before. Ghost held their eye contact while he downed his drink and slammed the heavy glass on the counter. Finally, he stormed to the exit with his hands stuffed into his pockets. She watched him shoulder the emergency door, which apparently had no alarms attached to it, and disappear outside. It was like a silent command to follow. Or maybe a warning, a huge, neon red sign blinking ‘BEWARE! DANGER!’ at her.
However, she had never been known for playing things safe.
“Roach,” she said over the music, slowing her movements. “I need some air. Don’t wait up.”
He simply smiled and bobbed his head before signing, “Sure! I’ll see you back on base tomorrow?”
“Try not to take it too rough tonight,” she signed back with a wink, patting him on the shoulder.
“I make no promises!”
Roach wouldn’t have a hard time finding someone to go home with, that much she was sure about. Even as she weaved through the crowd, she scoped a soldier still in their fatigues heading in her companion’s direction. Lucky bastard, she thought, trying not to let her envy for Gary’s ability to draw men in get the better of her. I’d give anything to scratch that itch right about now. But she was determined. Determined to confront Ghost about his attitude toward her, his superior, and end it. She quickly stepped to the door, hoping to catch the sergeant before he went back to base–
And collided with said sergeant's chest as she went to push the door out.
“Lieutenant.”
The lieutenant recovered smoothly, stepping back to put some space between them. “Sergeant,” she said, nodding to him. “Can I speak to you outside for a moment?”
He stared for a beat before silently stepping back and holding the door open as she stepped out. The cool, refreshing air flowed through the wide knit of her sweater, offering solace from the hot, stiff air, inside the building. The back exit led to a quiet parking lot; all they could hear was the soft buzz of the street light above, Thursday night traffic in the distance, and the muted music from the speakers inside. 
They stood side by side in silence for a while, him with his hands tucked into his hoodie pocket again, her arms crossed over her chest. The bar was further away from the city, making the clear, starry sky more visible without the smog and city lights. It would be peaceful if not for her whirring thoughts and the intoxicating musk and whisky wafting from the man next to her. Maybe she’d find someone to go back to the barracks with later.
She wasn’t expecting Ghost to be a regular Chatty Cathy, but the silence was unbearable. “Did I do something to upset you, Sergeant?” she asked, not looking up at him.
“No, ma’am.”
God, she wanted to throttle him. “Then why are you avoiding me?” She took the silence that followed as confirmation of her suspicions, which only fueled her fire more. “We’re supposed to be a team; you and I are partners. The whole won’t function with you icing me out.”
Another pause as Ghost contemplated his response. Her sneaker scuffed against the pavement as she shifted her stance, choosing to spread her weight equally instead of leaning to one side. It made her feel taller, and she needed all the help she could get next to the absolute unit beside her.
“You’re distracting.”
“Distra-” She looked up at him then, baffled, and saw him still facing forward. But she did notice his jaw tightened underneath the mask. Distracting? That’s not–
Oh.
“Rather cozy with the little insect.”
She couldn’t help it, honest. At first, she snorted, but her recovery wasn’t as swift as the chuckle rolled into barrelling laughter. “R-Rather…insecure for such a…big man!” she wheezed, hunching over with her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. 
Ghost asked, “Something funny?” which only made matters worse and threw her into another fit of giggles and snorts. Very ladylike. After close to a minute, she managed to compose herself enough to suck in a deep breath of oxygen.
“You’re jealous?” she questioned, straightening her back again. “Oh, that’s…that’s hilarious.”
“I’m not.”
Liar.
“You’ve been pining after me this whole time, and you–” The giggling started again, but under enough control that she could still speak. “Ghost, Roach is fucking gay.”
Ghost’s eyes snapped over to her at that, although he couldn’t find the words for a smart response. Several things he had noticed about Roach suddenly made sense. He’d been working with Roach for months by that point. How hadn’t he put two and two together? 
“You’d have a better chance of getting him to fuck you than me.”
Before he could stop it, his mouth spoke quicker than his mind could keep up with. “Oh, I’m not a bottom, love.”
Now, that certainly wasn’t a response she prepared for. Was it a good idea to proposition someone of a lower rank as a contractor?
Probably not.
If she was wrong and he wasn’t interested, he could report her and get her demoted if not discharged entirely. But if she’s right, and someone else catches them, that would at least count towards a demerit, a permanent stain on both of their records.
But again, you know what they say about her and risks…
“You sure about that?” she hummed, keeping her gaze forward and arms crossed.
Ghost raised an eyebrow and gave her a once over with his side-eye, eyes following her every curve, from her feet up to her exposed shoulder where her sweater had slipped and the open holes to her bare skin underneath. He forced his sight forward like a good soldier, clenching his fists tightly in his pocket to help restrain himself. “I don’t make a habit of fuckin’ my superiors, ma’am,” he offered, head tipped back towards the open sky.
“Who said you’d be doing the fucking, soldier?”
His skin reacted immediately, burning hot under the black fabric. He chanced another look at her without turning his head and saw her looking back through pretty lashes. If there were a definition for “fuck me eyes” in the dictionary with a picture next to it, the eyes he was currently staring into would be there. He had done so well, circumventing any temptation from a superior officer. The military was all he had; if he was discharged, he would have nowhere else to go. The ghost didn’t even have an apartment off-base, always staying in the barracks, save for times when Price dragged him to his house and forced him to stay there. 
He had been so diligent and successfully dodged her at every opportunity, dodged her kind advances of friendship, even sat across the room during the few briefings they’d had together to keep physical distance between him and his problem. But with every passing second of peering down into those eyes, the rest of her face concealed by a mask not unlike his own – he felt his impulses surging forward and self-control slipping away.
The man sighed deeply and dropped his head with his eyes closed. “Bollocks.” Ghost placed a hand on her lower back while the other pulled his belt open, the leather slipping through the metal clasp, buckle clinking as he guided her towards Price’s vehicle.
Ever the gentleman, Ghost popped the door open and stepped to the side, allowing her space to climb in first. She couldn’t be bothered with concealing the giddy, satisfied look as she perched herself on the seat and tugged him between her legs by his waistband.
“Don’t give me that look.”
Mischief twinkled in the irises staring back at him, and suddenly the black mask he’d grown accustomed to disappear, showcasing a smile to match. “What look, Sergeant?” she questioned, her voice pitched lower than usual and her touch slipping into his pants and squeezing. Hard. A gloved hand smacked into the frame of the vehicle, supporting his body through the sudden tremor that jerked his hips forward.
Fuck.
She did manage to learn a few things about Ghost in that SUV. Those facts are as follows:
He was much more religious about keeping his mask on than she was with hers
Whimperer
He somehow was able to be soft while also fucking her stupid?
That tongue of his was good for more than quick whit
When Ghost came inside her, his thighs shaking and convulsing as her warm walls milked him dry, she gave them both a minute to gather their senses before rolling her hips again, earning a pathetic whine.
“Come on, Sergeant,” she panted, pulling his head up from her shoulder by short curls at the nape of his neck. “You can do better than that. Make me come again? Please?”
She had known him for two days and already had him on his knees for her. That theme would be consistent in their relationship going forward.
taglist: @esthervalea, @miss-leto, @sweetestcowboy, @blueoorchid, @apocalypticseagull, @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction, @covenlovenn, @330bpm-whiplash, @gnoccheyy, @jaggernauticals, @dwkfan, @untoldshortsofthefandomsdoms, @bobfloydsgf, @maviee, @thomaslefteyebrow, @kyovy, @prodyng, @scout-fang, @avalkyrieofparis, @misshoneypaper, @berryjuicyy, @voteforpedropascal, @beakami, @addictedtothefictionalworld, @kaghost, @witchy-writing, @67-angelofthelordme-67, @thychuvaluswife, @mysticalpandabear, @cabreezer0117
Copyright © 2023 as-is-above-so-below. All rights reserved.
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sillygeeseys · 6 months
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Hey! Quieter/closeted LGBTQ+ people, I made a post for the loud + out folks, and you guys deserve one too that's just a tad gentler, I feel like y'all don't get enough recognition y'know?
Some encouragement under the cut 💛💛
(Exclusionists/any of that bullshit DNI I will block/delete, this is MY hype post)
Hey, it's ok to stay quiet/closeted. If this is how you feel the safest, I completely understand and support that
It's normal for the closet to be an awful place, no matter how safe it makes you. I hope that one day you can come out, no matter how far that feels, and are met with love
I hope that anyone keeping down a big voice gets to be just as loud as everyone else is one day, you deserve it after all this time
If you feel safe, and happy just the way things are with you, then I'm so proud. I'm so proud that you got to figure out just what you needed.
You're struggles aren't any less important just because you're in the closet. You're dysphoria is just as bad, the things people in your life may say can hurt just as much, and not having anyone to go too is never ideal. You're not crazy, you're not faking anything, it's not any less valid.
You're not in the wrong for being quieter, sometimes the community gets really angry at people for not getting loud, but sometimes you just physically can't do it. You don't need to feel guilty at all for that regardless of what people say.
You don't owe anyone your identity, ever.
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in3rci4 · 3 months
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† ALL OF THEM ALIVE : AFTERMATH HEADCANONS †
Introduction
I asked you guys which Hcs would you like me to write first and you decided the option . The majority of blogs had talked about their own personal Hcs about this AU ! / Possible final where all the boys survived their kidnapper " The Grabber " , so I think it's time I'll do mine too . In this fandom we all wished or thought at least once about this , about the " what if " , and it's interesting how there's some stuff we all agree with and how some would differ depending the person you're asking . But anyways , I shall get to the point and talk about what you stopped reading for
author's note : I'm really sorry for not writing lately , I've been kinda stressed out and with little time to do something like this . Like I said before , I promised than little by little I'll do y'all requests , I didn't forget , so please be patient because soon I'll have the time
Warnings ¡! : Children abuse , SA , VERY long rant , possible misspelling , specific details that might be gruesome , headcanons about future and family situation of each character , suicide , angst , mention of real life killers / predators , homophobia , sexism , etc ... . If you don't agree with the following headcanons then I'm open to discuss yours politely , so now after that been said , enjoy it ^^
¿ How they escaped from " The Grabber " ?
This one is very difficult to decide , since there's a lot of options that can be valid and logical in the context of the movie , so I will make a ranking to most to least " possible " in my opinion :
THE GRABBER HIMSELF LETS THEM GO : Now , I know that knowing this character is based on a pedophile serial killer and IT'S a pedophile serial killer , the possibility of him letting them go sounds not logical at first , but hear me out on this one . The first 2 thoughts that comes in my mind when someone has escaped their kidnapper , is that they escaped when they've killed or ran away when their kidnapper was distracted , or , the very own criminal let them go . Remember the scene when Albert tells Finney that " nothing is going right " or that " he's thinking about letting him go " ? Well , I think that if in another universe they all escaped from him because HE lets them go , either because he was afraid of being caught by the police or his very own sick self that had enough of toying with them ( You imagine what could been " enough " for this psycho ) . The circumstance of them also being discarded as " dead " in the worst physical state is also an option , yet one of the saddest , because this one is where they get to live the worst of the " Naughty boy " game . Some walking back home on their own , some others found by other people that called the authorities for help
MAX HELPS THE KIDS TO ESCAPE : this crackhead seems to be smart on his own way , but way too fucked up with drugs to reach his full sane and clean potential , yet , on the movie , he figures his brother out , but he unfortunately dies by the hand of his very own blood . But , if Albert did went to work , I believe he would ramble a little about how it made sense , on how he didn't figure out sooner , etc . Soon the plead of the kids of letting them go makes him go back half on his senses , and he either calls the police and tells the kids to search on the house more about his brother in order to have more proofs against him ( Yes , this sounds dumb but justice sometimes don't do what they have to do ) or either takes all of them to the police station right away , proud of himself because HE DID found the kids , but of course , little does he know that he won't and will never get the credit for it .
SAME BASEMENT , DIFFERENT ROOMS : This one that I've seen more repeating on the people on the fandom , and I guess I understand why . There's 2 possibilities in each instance : The place , the victim who knocks out the Grabber and the final state of the kidnapper . If if we're talking about the place , it ain't something impossible for a house to have a immense basement under it with multiple rooms and stuff . Albert Shaw is based on Jhon Wayne Gacey , a pedophile homosexual serial killer that also did "children entertainment " gestures and had also like work construction business , this man hide the bodies of his victims under his house , on his backyard and in another house apart from where he lived ( Josef Fritzl can be also compared to this killer too , this man build a basement specially to SA his own daughter and have incestuous children with her that maintained them from escaping ) . A sick twisted mind that build a basement JUST to SA poor boys that had the bad luck of encounter him . That , or the "Naughty boy " game takes place in different locations , the first part , under his house basement , the one that we see on the movie , the second , somewhere else , a basement that who knows what happened or who created such thing with soundproofed rooms that has a black phone united to the next room , the boys , prisoners of a masked human devil that checked that all the telephones were disconnected or broken , but they make it work , and create a plan to take down their tormentor . The idea of all of them taking him down at the same time sounds cool and almost relieving , as all the victims participate on fighting against their predator , but if you prefer more the idea of Finney being the boy who takes down The Grabber , then the final plan is him setting the others free after being done with him . And depending on how possible you may think an option or other is , The Grabber gets killed by all his victims , or survives , and is arrested ... Not allowing the cycle of pain to end for the kids
UNKNOWN PREVIOUS VICTIMS GHOSTS : I admit I don't really know if the creators / writers or whatever said something about this before , but this man killed 5 kids and its hinted on the book that he had also kidnapped more , we only know about this kids on the movie because of Finney's perspective and Gwen's dreams ( Except Griffin Stagg ) , but what if there was more somewhere else in another state / town ? What if instead of only one child having an spiritual gift we had 6 trapped children that got kidnapped in a haunted building of previous victims of The Grabber ? Perhaps all of them being able to contact the Spiritual world but not knowing until they were taken by a crazy man ? That would be not only cool in my opinion to see in a movie ( it would be really interesting to see how differently they would react to ghosts ) but it can be something possible in the context of the movie and / or in the " The Shinning" universe ( non confirmed to be cannon it's just a theory )
THE POLICE SOLVING THE CASE : Look , we all know sometimes police it's more useless and dangerous that what they supposed to be , BUT , if we are talking about the most possibles " what if " , I think that maybe , in this particular case , in another universe the detectives ( I don't remember their names , I think maybe Mr Wright and Mr Miller ? ) figure out fast enough to solve the case and save the kids ( Tbh Gwenny did so much more for her brother and those kids than the police did on the movie , and she's just a child that didn't got credit for being the most important person on the case ) so if we didn't have Gwen's psychic abilities and we're on a non paranormal context of the movie , sooner or later killers are discovered , either because lack of self awareness or because they wanted to be recognized , and usually sexual predators tend to lack self awareness the more they get " confident " ( ik fucking disgusting ) . If the they did the same Max's reasoning , I believe that they could have the luck to say " that the help came " ( Again , I believe this possiblity of police figuring Albert Shaw sounds reasonable , but doing it on time , that's a 40/60 , 40% they got before any SA or death happened , 60% that something bad already happened when they got to arrest Albert Shaw " The Grabber" )
THE VERY OWN KIDS ESCAPE BY THEIR OWN : All of this are possibilities , even if it's on the lowest of the ranking , it is still something that could happened , but for me , it's a very low chance of it actually happening . I know cases of children and teenagers escaping and saving others from killers / kidnappers , but if the whole movie happened , it was because no matter how "popular " or " strong " they were , they were still kids / young teens against a grown ass adult twice their weight and height . But my point is , if they did escaped on their own without interacting while being captive with others victims , then The Grabber definitely cannot commit his crimes on the same place / in one of his houses . As I see it on this option , if they did escaped , they did it like the way they tried and died for ( Billy breaks a window , Griffin escapes on a moment of distraction , Vance escapes by getting into another room that helps him to exit , Bruce perhaps instead of digging himself a tunnel finds a trapdoor that leads to a tunnel . Idk what to think as a escape route for Robin or Finney , perhaps Robin had to actually get into a fight with the Grabber and started to get chased but he manages to escape , maybe Finney waits enough time to observe and makes a whole plan to escape and call the police on Albert's absence ) . Idk if they would be able to tell who is their captor or not , but I'm sure that in this last option , The Grabber definitely gets arrested or " learns from his mistakes " to " get better " at kidnapping children .
¿ Do they stick together after all the trauma ?
I believe it's a 50/50 , I can see both options being possible if all or some of the victims survived
WHY IT'S POSSIBLE : Nobody would understand the pain and trauma that they been through better than them as a group , not the police , not the reporters , not their friends , not their families , not the child therapists , only them . Unconsciously would still be on alert mode and seek for their and the others safety , possibly being more protective or snap back at those who try to bother them or another boy , and if we follow the " Same basement , different rooms " option , they feel like they're in debt with the others for helping / saving their life , making a sort of friendship / comfort bond with the other boys . A friendship that could be intact for years even after they are living their own lives or are far away from each other
BUT AT THE SAME TIME : Seeing the others is a constant remind of what they been through , wich it could result in them drifting apart from each other to avoid the memories coming back at them . Perhaps some will even resent others , blaming them without knowing why , be mad that they told the police / other people what they been through and now everyone knows they also been SA or physically abused , frustrated that people or the own victims boys search them asking about what happened or how they feel after " it's all over " . If they didn't killed Albert or help the other to escape , then the anger for not being able to finish him or be left behind would also increase the discordance between each other
¿ Would they be able to go back to their normal lives ?
I'm sorry but again , I'll think it's a 50/50 thing , or well , more like a 40/60 thing . They of course , after so much trauma in their heads they will need time to get over or deal with it , but some will have more support than others and that's a fact . They can't erase the past , but some of them would not have the same tools to deal with it in a healthy way ( Personal opinion : none would be able to cope in a healthy way . We're talking about boys that been possibly SA with physical and mental damage from living such situation as kidnapping and being captive against their will . Homophobia was 6x worse in the 70's , even if nothing was their fault , there's always people that would make them feel like shit for " not standing up " or " letting it happen" , questioning their sexuality or " if they liked it " or if they " search that " . Media would definitely not help this situation at all )
So in a ranking of who I personally think would be able to manage to " come back to normal" in their lives to " fastest to slowest " or have more support would be :
BRUCE YAMADA : His family and popularity would make him the one gets more empathy from the people in town , not like the others won't get it at all , but he definitely would have the odds more on his favor . His parents are wealthy enough to pay him a therapist or seek a doctor that helps him to cover his scars , anything that he asks or needs to feel better . People , let's be honest , would sympathize more with him than before and would even get it from those that before didn't like him that much . Yet , it would take him time to get back on his normal rhythm , baseball would be more difficult due how much muscular strength he lost while being captive , parties would overwhelmed him , and he would not like going out by himself , always needing someone on his side . Luckily , he would be on shape in a few months , hanging out in small parties and slowly but surely , being on his own on the streets . All though , he makes sure that his friends , baseball buddies or the people that hangs up with him in general didn't dare to bring the subject of him , the others or The Grabber on his presence , he doesn't want to start a unnecessary discussion or stop talking to them for their loud mouths ...
BILLY SHOWALTER : Everybody recognized his face before and after he went missing , but this time it was different , the look in the eyes of people that he came across with wasn't indifferent or the regular polite ones , now they would speak for the person louder than their voice did , they tried to hide it , but the pity was something that the look in their eyes didn't lie about . Nobody said or told him nothing , but he knew , Billy knew that everybody knew , and it made him a little bit paranoid ¿ How much did they knew about what happened ? He stopped delivering papers after seeing his face and the others in it , stopped watching TV for a while until the news of his " case " would disappear , his family thought it would be a good idea to take more trips to his grandparents house or outside the home general , like camping , lakes , family cookouts , etc . Little by little he would gain a little bit more confidence on himself , but he would need to isolate himself from the people to get a bit of peace of mind and be back to " the real world " . Sometimes frustration of not being able to erase people's memories of him as the kidnapped kid would get him , but he'll suppressed it , as well as he can , just like him trying to not get alarmed by his dog barks ...
FINNEY BLAKE : He's for sure got his back covered by his sister Gwen before , now and forever , their bond was always strong and it became even stronger after he went missing . After surviving The Grabber the bullying stopped since he was THAT kid who survived the The Grabber , making him be in peace for a good amount of time on high school , although when it all calmed down , some or other dude would call him names , but it wasn't like he would get beaten for it , and if they tried to , he wasn't scared to throw a punch to shut them up . I do believe that Terrance tried to change for his son and daughter , but even then , the damage was already done , there's was no more violence or alcohol smell in the house , but there was no deep connection between him and his kids . Sometimes his father would accidentally make a loud noise and he would flinch or jump on his place , to later realize it wasn't nothing . And if his father kept his same attitude that he had before he was taken , Finney wouldn't take any more shit from him anymore . As a generational curse , father and son would get into heated discussions , discussions where Finney would dare him to hit him or Gwenny , just once , for him to see what'll do to his father if he did . So , if we expect the good development , I think he will sometimes get to live a somehow normal life with ups and downs , the last ones being the hardest times if they clicked something from the past , but usually being able to compose himself , if his dad doesn't help his recovery to normalcy , then he might slowly loose little by little the calmness in him and isolate himself to avoid problems , like before ..
ROBIN ARELLANO : His mother was ecstatic when she heard her that her child didn't die like her husband , giving him a big hug that was full of pleading for forgiveness and thanking God for bringing Robin back home alive , as well his uncle , who waited for her to to finish to hug his nephew too . He would get child treatment for a long time , his mother would make him a lot of his favorite food for him to gain weight and pepper him with kisses and cheesy nicknames that he didn't heard since he was a toddler , his uncle giving him more gifts than before as well as doing the impossible to make space on his work schedule and drive him the way to and back from school . At first Robin didn't complain , why would he ? He would lie if he says he didn't missed his family and the affection he receives from them , but as time passed and he tried to "get over it " and go back to normal , he noticed how much those actions made him feel weak and useless . He asked his mother to stop treating him like a child and his uncle to let him walk by himself like before , wich lead her mother to be confused of why he wouldn't like what she does and , for the first time on his life , he having an argument with his uncle about what's safe or what he needs . School was still difficult for him to understand , Robin felt like everything changed since he left and now he's more close to suspending than before , thankfully he got a tutor teacher that is just as good and understanding like Finney . The kids still respect him as one of the toughest in school , even the ones that were waiting for an opportunity to fight him didn't want to face him , but that made him angry , how he's supposed to let all this pent up frustration now ? He didn't see this as respect , he felt this as pity , they consider him not in condition to fight , he escaped the god damn Grabber for fucks sake ! He hates it , the feeling of vulnerability not leaving after escaping that cold basement . He'll try to keep a low profile and try his best to avoid talking to people , keep his cool , but hearing his uncle talk about the fight he had on his work with his mother because some coworker called his nephew a faggot , made this feeling of vulnerability turn into disgust ... Disgust by himself , which lead him into a depression and isolation period of time that he would only get over after a year or an a half . Later , he would tell himself that what happened made him stronger , and that's part of him now , hyping himself up as well as he can , because toxic masculinity won't go just because of him ..
GRIFFIN STAGG : He only has his mother for support and some other adults that felt compassion towards him , after all , he survived a huge cut on his throat that didn't let him talk freely like before . He had to learn sign languages along with deaf and / or mute kids , they were friendly , and even if he was a little bit doubtful of the idea of making friends , he found himself comfortable with them . He hated it , how even in hot weather he had to cover his neck , how he went to invisible to have the entire school eyes on him and his name known for every kid in Colorado , and not for good . For a long time doctors told him to had certain soft food diet until his throat got better , so the frustration of not being able to talk or eat freely made him isolate himself or shut himself down . His mother took him to a child therapist and it certainly helped him , just not enough to say he's happier . The only good thing he sees on all of this is that he's better at school and learned to be more focused , because the part of him not being able to talk back and be like a walking ghost of flesh and bones was definitely not the good one ...
VANCE HOPPER : The actor of this character said that his background or house life is definitely not good or supportive , specially coming from his father . I headcanon that this kid had the misfortune to have the worst type of men as his dad : aggressive , abusive , toxic and definitely not the most open minded either . I also think his mother is much of a submissive woman who accepted her fate and is way too scared to do something against her husband , which results into her not standing up for her son when he gets beat up or yelled at . Even he hates his old man with all his heart , he unconsciously became similar to him in thinking and bad temper . I also think either because of his mother or his father contacts ( not in the rich kind of way , its either because his own father works there or one of the two knows someone inside the police force ) he would set free of jail and not being sent to a juvenile rehabilitation center . After what he been through , his hate towards the world and life would increase even more , because he was the exception of out the 6 boys , the only one that the police didn't care to find and kids were grateful he was gone , that his own father was grateful that he "escaped " from his house , but his mother knew that it wasn't like that . He would feel that everyone thought he searched what happened to him , that everyone stopped fearing him to be disgusted by him , it would take a slight insult or wrong look for him to explode and beat the person . He felt conflicted , and didn't know where to go to feel better outside the mall with a pinball machine , teachers still saw him as the outcast , his " friends " didn't feel comfortable being around Vance anymore and the therapy costed way too much , or well , too much for his dad opinion . He would get into trouble more often than before , but no one would say something , they would resort to just to avoid him like an rabid dog , just like before he guess . If he's by himself , he would grow up hating himself and projecting that hate towards others , not to say that his father stopped beating his ass , but the venomous comments shamming him for what happened didn't , to the point Vance wished he was just straight beaten up like before instead of hearing those awful words every day ..
¿ What if The Grabber and the children are taken to the court of law ?
I don't think I saw people talking about this or maybe someone did but I never encounter their opinion before , but let's just say they escaped either by A or B and Albert is not killed but arrested , you know how painful would be for the boys to live the whole process until his sentence is dictated ? The constant interview with the police , the television transmitting everything , the lawyer and fake witnesses in Albert Shaw's favor , etc .
We have the Yamada and Showalter family , the Yamada family will try to get every contact to help them win the case , the best lawyers possible in the name of their son and if it's allowed , the other children too . The Showalter family would ask every neighbor in Denver to speak in favor of the children and would definitely do everything on their power to make the country know what injustice would be made if they give a monster like Albert Shaw a lower punishment that he deserves , for the people to not believe what the witnesses says and his " good man " facade and think about their children , probably with the television or radio stations help . The Arellano family would try to to avoid the public eye just like Mr Blake ( Terrance ) , unless the police , media or the court made a difference with Robin because he's hispanic , then they , specially his mother Mrs Arellano , would expose with all the tools they could get access to , the people who disrespects Robin . Terrance would try his best to not interfere with the legal process , but if someone ever tried to blame Finney for defending himself he would get physically violent , and I believe to avoid this impulsivity to happen , he would try his best not to see Albert Shaw's face and make it worse for his son . Mrs Stagg I believe would not want at first her son to live through the whole process and would have her son's mental health as priority first , but seeing that it would be more harmful than beneficial , she would be by Griffin's side until it's all over or at least that horrible man gets what he deserves . Hopper's family though , expect bad things to happen with this family . The father Mr Hopper if offered money , wouldn't care that the man that harmed his son was set free and could even force Vance to step aside of the whole legal process , or maybe not accepting money , but definitely enjoying the attention that the reporters gives him everytime they tried to speak to him for more information . The mother , Mrs Hopper does want justice for her child , but isn't sure how to help him without making her husband mad or messing up things , but she would definitely take the courage to testify against the disgusting person of name Albert Shaw , even she doesn't know if what she's doing will bring her consequences , since Albert's lawyer accused them of being involved with police corruption .
I think all of them would collaborate as much as possible for the life imprisonment to be dictated for " The Grabber " , repeating their testimony as many times as necessary , even if they feel ashamed if any SA happened and would take them a timespan to open up to the detectives and the court .
¿ Would they tell their friends or family what happened ? ¿ How they would continue their lives ?
Definitely it's different on each case / boy , and we're definitely not on the same line as before with the law happening because once dead , the only thing left of " The Grabber " is the damage he caused in these boys . The police demands their testimony , they get it , and it's over , but what the details they don't release on public ? Would the boys tell those closed to them what exactly happened underground with that man ?
Those details : Paranormal activity , Gwendolyn Blake / Max Shaw participation , starvation , dehydration , the state of the kids the moment they're found ( Dirty , bloody , skinny , with dry white lips , perhaps with missing pair of clothes ) , SA towards the missing children
VANCE HOPPER : If possible , he would keep every detail to himself , internalized homophobia and sexism would live with him as he grows up to be a volatile man that would have a hard time trusting other people and keeping his job . Would rely on drinking or physical violence to cope the trauma , definitely isolating himself , perhaps changing Pinball for gambling machines . In a very heated period of life , he may consider suicide or commit illegal acts
BRUCE YAMADA : Asked his parents to not let anything come out of the police station that wasn't already said on TV , his parents asked him why , but he only told them to do it for him . Would deny or avoid talking about what happened focusing to become the baseball player he always dreamed to be . It isn't until one day , as a already famous hitter of strikes , in a interview a reporter asks him if any SA happened during his time captive by the criminal " The Grabber " . Bruce couldn't stop his hands from trembling and his voice to stutter after the interview . This would make him have panic and anxiety attacks , fearing the public eye as he never did before , but the more you try to run away from your past , the past gets closer to catch you as time goes by . After a while , he feels like it's to time to tell the truth , and Bruce gets enough confidence and courage to speak on the media that yes , he was sexually abused by a man that kidnapped him when he was a teen , that felt that he should hide it if he wanted to be a baseball star , because society makes the SA victims feel guilty for what they live through even if it's not their fault , specially men , that either are ignored or ridiculed , treated as trash or unworthy of empathy . This would had a huge impact on the media , but also would help people to question their beliefs and speak for their experiences . When he got the permission to open a foundation for abused children and teenagers , he felt that invisible weight on his chest get lighter . The letters of fans that have been abused thanking him for speaking out loud his experience made him cry on the privacy of his house ...
GRIFFIN STAGG : Would only tell his mother if she persisted once and never talk about it again , and since Griffin's therapist died of old age , he wouldn't want any other to have a session with , wich meant he'll never tell anyone about it . He grows up to accept jobs that he changes once a while when the money ain't for him to pay the bills , like being a librarian or a janitor of different buildings , his frustrated dream of being a veterinarian would from to time to time make him feel sad about it , but he'll comfort himself by saying that at least he has enough to live good . Well , good it's what doctors say , because he's tired of the constant medical visits for his vocals and throat to be checked . It's not like a miracle would and he suddenly was healed completely and capable of speaking . It's just the same old routine since... That ...
ROBIN ARELLANO : If possible , he would deny everything that happened to him if his family wants to know " the truth " . The truth is that he tries to move on and forget , but until he gets on his period of life with confidence and cool persona back , he would feel like the worst shit ever . He grows up and gets some of his old normalcy back , the horror movies though ? Not his favorite type anymore . I believe he probably wants to become a soldier like his father , but ends up being a fire fighter or part of a rescue team , but at an adult age , because his youth would have tons of low wage jobs due his inexperience and origin . Would only confess a single time to someone that confessed to lived something similar has him , to make them know they have his support and they're not alone .
FINNEY BLAKE : Would only confess this as an adult on a dinner with his sister , breaking down , rambling nonsense that would stop once Gwen stands up from the table and hugs her big brother , rubbing his back in a attempt to comfort him . He definitely works hard to be part of the NASA workers , although as time goes by , he realizes that being astronaut was a huge responsability and demanding , and he prefers to stay as a spaceship engineer . If some collegue or superior tried to talk with him about his time being captive on the basement , he would politely ask them to change the subject of the conversation , if they persistent he would find an excuse to leave and " go back to work " . Maybe if he did choose the astronaut profession this wouldn't happened ...
BILLY SHOWALTER : If the police didn't let the people know , he would take all his memories to the grave , maybe write them if he feels the need to vent . Doesn't matter who asks , he would always deny , decline and avoid any exchange about what happened on the 78' . He wanted to become a reporter or with enough luck a businesses man , but due the circumstances he prefers to be a low profile mechanic , little does he know that one day he'll become the most expensive race cars mechanic , meeting a lot of famous people that some would become close to him . The world would only know what Billy went through once they found a notebook were every dark , depressing and specific details was written on those old pages of paper .
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jellycreamjammedart · 9 months
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This might be a risky hot take but
Some of you "Gregory Defenders" are starting to annoy the absolute hell out of me
And this isn't about the "whether Gregory is innocent or guilty" side of the argument you're on, but about how obnoxious and unhinged some of y'all are about it regardless of the "side" you're on.
Not everyone in the fandom is going to like Gregory, nor will everyone see him as innocent. Some may even say he's a cold and manipulative backstabber, or that he's only popular because of "male protag privilege". And you know what, that's actually all okay and valid. And you know why?
Because Gregory is not real.
"He's only like 12!!!!" he's not real.
"He's just a child!!!" he's not real.
"He's not guilty he was brainwashed!!" he's not real.
"He's only trying to protect himself he doesn't deserve hate!!!" Let people dislike/hate him if they want, it won't affect Gregory at all because he's not real.
It's not like people are bullying a real child. He's a fictional character, in case y'all ever forgot that detail.
Actually no, I am SURE y'all forgot that detail, with how you treat people who dislike him as if it was an actual moral issue and paint them as evil for not sharing your image of your perfect cinnamon roll gremlin boy.
"How DARE you say Gregory's not innocent? How can you HATE him he's just a kid!!! It's not his fault STOP punishing him!!! How evil do you have to be to blame a literal child!!!? You're disgusting!!!" HE'S NOT FUCKING REAL.
Where in the fucking hell is it okay to label a person as evil or bully them for like, liking Cassie (another fictional character in case you also forgot) over Gregory??
Yes this also goes to y'all who approach people unprompted to tell them like a lawyer why Gregory is not to blame, especially with how condescending and obnoxious you are about it, pretty much reeking the vibe of "I'm telling you how wrong you are for blaming Gregory because you're clearly stupid for not believing otherwise, here's why I'm right and why my vision of this character is the correct one."
I'm sick of "Gregory defense lawyers" coming to my inbox after my ramblings about Cassie blaming Gregory for the elevator drop all condenscendingly like "Ummm actually you can't do that because Gregory is innocent it was all the Mimic in case you missed the details blah blah-" did I fucking ask???
(Unless people seem confused or are new to the fandom and they ask, then you may be entitled to tell them... but I still suggest being unbiased and focusing on canon aspects only rather than your personal opinion about it.)
Don't even get me started on y'all's flat out hostility towards people who don't like Gregory
"If you think Gregory did anything wrong ever I'LL FUCKING FIGHT YOU" is this really all that necessary to protect a kid that doesn't even exist??? Is it worth ending friendships or snuffing out potential new friendships with other real people over??? Worth bullying and witch-hunting other real people whose only apparent crime was loving the same franchise as you? How can you be proud of that?
(Unless you mean you will fight people in that memey or shitpost way then idc keep being a silly little guy actually)
"But I adore Gregory, and he's my favorite character!! It makes me really upset when people hate him/make art/write about him being guilty or blamed, or say Cassie is better! I don't agree with it!!" ... then why are you making yourself upset by checking out content about Gregory that you don't like? Like... dude.
People are going to create stuff about Gregory (or any other fictional character really,) that won't always align with you. And they're entitled to do it, no matter how wrong you think they are! Instead of policing what other people create about your blorbo, just look away and seek content about them that you actually like. If a particular creator's vision on Gregory is too much of a deal-breaker for you, just block and blacklist and move on. Or create the content you want yourself instead of badgering other people.
Also keep in mind that Gregory being antagonized in a fic/art/etc doesn't always translate to the authors hating him, chances are they're just writting it from other characters' perspectives who may have whatever beef with him in the given setting, so don't go jumping to conclusions either. And even if the antagonism does come from the author's personal bias, that still gives you no right to harrass them anyways.
I will continue liking Cassie over Gregory and I do think she's better and I will continue rambling about Cassie hating Gregory for believing he betrayed her even if it was the Mimic, because it is an interesting scenario, and I personally think the whole GGY thing was dumb and unnecessary (he could still have been an interesting character as just an unlucky homeless boy without any sinister plot-twist.) That's it; There's no fucking need to make it about morality, ffs. If you don't like that, ignore it, or unfollow me if it's that much of a deal-breaker for you.
All y'all are doing is giving reasonable Gregory fans a bad name, and actually making people dislike him further by oversaturating him and forcing him into a source of stress and disdain rather than enjoyment for them, where people start actually getting sick of seeing him around (and I feel that myself already.)
Let people dislike Gregory for whatever reason.
By the way...
You "Gregory Haters" are annoying me as well
As entitled as you are to your opinion about this annoying manipulative liar of a brat, there are people who share a different sentiment about him. Let them.
You don't have to reblog or comment on someone's post how much they adore Gregory to tell why you hate him, or go to the spaces of Gregory fans to spew why you hate so much this little guy they like. That's just fucking mean and rude. Make your own post, or go to the spaces that share your opinion.
Quit making people feel bad for liking a character you dislike. If you don't like Gregory, why are you even bothering to check out content about him, then? Check out content about characters you LIKE. I bet that'd make you much happier than spending your time regurgitating your hate over someone's creation about a character they like but you don't and unsurprisingly start an argument about it. Look for things you like, block and blacklist stuff and people about your hated character if you gotta but leave them alone
Let people like Gregory for whatever reason, too.
Let people see Gregory however way they see fit.
Because this bears repeating: He's not real. He's a fictional character. He's a tool. Let people use him however way they see fit to drive a story or scenario; that's his purpose, as a fictional character.
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tranquilpetrichor · 10 months
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zb1 as honkai: star rail players
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— may this journey lead us starward.
synopsis: you end up getting the zb1 boys to play the popular hoyoverse space fantasy rpg called honkai: star rail, and this is how it goes...
genre: headcanon, fluff, crack
wc: 944
warnings: mentions of video game deaths, cursing, there may be unfamiliar video game terms
a/n: haha please lemme summon all the zerose that play this game. very self-indulgent headcanon. i actually have not played this for a couple weeks because college = busy so... yeah.
taglist: @restlessmaknae
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sung hanbin
he now thinks it would be a fun idea to have the members play video games like this for content so there you go
i can see him looking at bronya and thinking "she's a great leader" because honestly so true
he starts off with a fairly standard team composition (shielder, healer, support, dps) because you know less is more
likes the story, finishes it fairly quickly
thinks the feature where characters text you is cute
gets really happy whenever you use his support character
kim jiwoong
absolutely confused as hell and really, you can't blame him
"wait, why i can't jump?"
you spend a bit of time explaining the turn-based combat stuff to him and now he does get it... sorta
doesn't play too much but sometimes does it on a free day
pulls for characters he finds pretty (so valid)
and that's how he ended up with luocha, imbibitor lunae, jing yuan and kafka
has decent luck too
zhang hao
plays with chinese dub, chinese dialogue text
pulls for as many characters from the xianzhou luofu as he can
a lore enjoyer, probably excitedly talking about his favorite parts with you
probably got sucked into all the side quests
busy testing out the simulated universe, enjoying every second of it
has the ost samudrartha on blast, he'd love to cover the song one day
having a field day with any lore-heavy updates
seok matthew
he probably tried memory of chaos with f2p characters "because he was bored" and already did it w cracked as hell 5 stars
i can see him having a bunch of the standard banner characters from losing the 50/50s
he prob saw welt and said “haraboji" which means grandpa. if y'all know that joke i love you.
curses a lot if he dies
if something actually ends up being too hard for you to beat he gladly tries to help you (he's sweet like that)
named the trailblazer (main character) woohyun
also loves exploration and just running around the map even if he can't find everything
finds it fun in his free time
kim taerae
plays it casually (because he’s probably already too dedicated to valorant or something to pick up another game)
yk i think he would be a fan of the music, this game has a very good ost
in the parlor car of the express there’s a phonograph and one of the songs you can play on there is called “take the journey”, it’s this acoustic guitar song with soothing vocals
if that’s not taerae, idk what is
as a music lover, he's probably listening to the whole ost for this game
a very proud serval main (no did you see that pic of him with the electric guitar on his birthday? i'm sure he can appreciate a fellow guitarist)
thinks it's funny that gepard uses serval's guitar case as a weapon
probably builds at least two good teams
and complains when realizing he didn't get that many materials from beating the calyxes (same)
ricky
plays with chinese dub, english text
lazy af, turned on auto battle feature we stan
plays maybe twice per week
dialogue skipper
yk this man is buying whatever the equivalent of the battle pass is for this game
he can and will whale for the characters he wants (and this man already has better 50/50 luck than you, for sure)
probably doesn't give a shit about meta when deciding to pull on banners even though because oh wow that character is cool
actually pulls on the lightcone banner (because he can)
sees asta and her constant purchases and goes yep that's relatable
he jokingly tries to name the trailblazer something like youngandrich
kim gyuvin
sometimes starts leveling up relics randomly not giving a crap about stats even though he probably should
"it's a 5 star one and the correct mainstat, so here we go!"
he shows you relics leveled all the way with absolutely shit substats just to troll and annoy you
another proud dialogue skipper
but when the trailblazer speaks, guyvin picks all the funny and wacky dialogue options
lets your support character do all the work for him
probably let excess exp accumulate until he finally does his equilibrium trial or whatever
thinks it would be funny to main sampo or qingque. so that's exactly what he does
says fuck it we ball and puts 4 dps characters on one team
randomly says character voice lines like "HELP ME MR. SVAROG" and you're just like "please shut up"
probably named the trailblazer eumppappa
park gunwook
the most likely to enjoy the game imo
also ends up getting good at it (because he’s talented and good at learning new things)
doesn’t like to auto battle, actually enjoys grinding battles
started laughing at you because he got gepard for his beginner pulls and you don’t even have him yet (but you laughed when he lost his 50/50 to himeko of all people so you’re even.)
has a decent amount of characters
you give him so many credits because you keep using his gepard
to return the favor, he uses your characters occasionally, mostly seele.
he likes putting shielders and healers as support characters because "some people need to be able to not die"
easily finds the chests, is a completionist
always updated and knows when new redeem codes are out
han yujin
very intently focused on the game, you find it hilarious
but since our maknae is very dedicated, you’re quite surprised at his trailblaze level..
“yujin, slow down, you’ve been playing for what, two days?"
he’s probably already reached somewhere around trailblaze level 25 already
truly a yanqing enjoyer, he likes everything about him and sees a bit of himself as yanqing is also young and dedicated to his particular craft (yes i wish i had him on my account shut up!)
sulks whenever he loses a 50/50
ngl i imagine ricky probably buys some stuff in-game for him
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blindmagdalena · 2 months
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I hate to treat you like my therapist but I feel like no matter how hard I try to write a fic no one cares or reads it or even likes it. It all just feels like rejection to me or that I'm doign something wrong or that there's something wrong with me. I've pujt my heart into so much and no one ever cares. How do you do it?
brace yourself. y'all know i'm long winded.
there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. writing is a really vulnerable form of expression. it's your thoughts, your feelings and your experiences all laid out as an open book for people to pick apart. when you feel a piece of writing isn't received well, it's very easy to take that personally. to feel like you aren't being received well.
i know this feeling well. the last fandom i was in, i was a much smaller fish in a much bigger pond. it was hard. i wanted to be noticed. i wanted people to like my work. i wanted people to like me.
the most important lesson i've learned since then really has been separating myself from my work. whether or not a fic performs well is not a reflection of me as a person, or my value. hell, it's not even a reflection of the quality of my work, and it's most certainly not a reflection of yours. learn to sincerely be your own hype man. love your stories even when no one else does because they're yours.
speaking from experience, there is a trap you can fall into as a writer where writing becomes your only source of validation, and when you don't get that fix, you can start to resent not only the craft itself, but others you share the space with. it becomes harder to get excited for the work of your peers, and as your support of them falls off, their support of you will, too.
celebrate your peers. celebrate yourself. love what you create. hear me when i say i'm genuinely so proud of you for putting yourself out there with your works. it's brave and it can hurt! but your stories are worth telling. they deserve to be heard.
i love you. people do care. you're someone's favorite writer.
don't give up. 🖤
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raccoon-eyed-rebel · 2 years
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Part 3
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Masterlist
Series masterlist
Part 2 🍂 Part 4
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Pairing: Syverson x ofc
Series summary: Life with Sy, what more can you wish for? The most amazing husband and father to a whole litter of cute little kids... Sometimes you wonder "how did you get here?"
Series warning: Bring in the angst, boys!
Word count: 1.4k
A/N: My girl @keanureevesisbae is on FIRE, at 35k! I'm so proud! ❤️ And because she's on a roll, y'all have to suffer today. You're welcome!
Any and all mistakes are grass-fed and organic.
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“No, Mattheijssen.” Could you spell it? Of course you could! They were the ones who couldn’t. Don’t say that out loud, you reminded yourself. “No, e-i-j-double s- e-n.” You said that the first time. And the second. “No, you’re right, it’s not an American name.” Fuck. Every. Single. Time. Finally, you hung up the phone after what seemed like an hour (it had been), completely ready to throw the phone through the window - which would have been easy, all these windows were single glazed – when you noticed a text from Sy.
Sy:     How does 7 sound? You:    Perfect!
Actually, 7 never sounded better. But you couldn’t tell him that. Alright, it is now… 5? Since when?! There is no way, text him back that 8 is better, you still have to shower. And then pick your outfit? Wash your hair? Is today wash day? When did you last wash your hair? Oh and makeup. And shave? Do you need to shave? Like, how necessary is shaving? Is… You really just stood there in the kitchen, panicking, wasting time – and then it hit you: you had a working kitchen sink, but not a working shower. You’d been showering at Jules’ place – or the gym, if you ever went – for weeks now…
“Pick up, pick up, pick up…” you muttered under your breath as you paced through the kitchen, squeezing your phone so hard you thought it was going to break.
“Jules! Oh my god!”
“Did your house burn down, Lara?”
“Wha- no?”
“Then stop screaming in my ear?”
“Sorry. Eh… Can you come pick me up, like, right now? Sy’s going to be here at 7 and I don’t have a working shower…” You heard Julie sigh.
“You are calling about that driver’s license on Monday, okay?” You promised her that you absolutely would – it was quite annoying to not have a valid driver’s license yet, you missed the independence. And it was silly to have a car in the driveway that you weren’t allowed to use, that, too. She was at your house in record time – either she’d been halfway there or she ignored the speed limit the entire time. Knowing Jules, it was the latter. On your way back to her house you texted Sy.
You: This is embarrassing… I don’t have a working shower, so you’re gonna have to pick me up at J’s place… Sy: Promise to meet me outside, I can do without the third degree.
You and Julie laughed about that last text. Unfortunately, while Sy would be escaping interrogation, you surely weren’t.
“So, dinner,  huh?” Jules asked with a wicked smile on her face.
“Jules, it’s not like that.” You weren’t planning on it, at least. No matter how hot he was, he wasn’t getting any just yet. Now those were some sturdy principles that you hoped with all your heart you could stick to. You always had. That being said you’d never met a man like Sy.
“Girl, it has to happen at some point?” Oh, God, the way Julie continuously brought up the fact that you’d never slept with anyone could be so extremely infuriating.
“Would you kindly fuck all the way off, Julietta?” You hated saying her full name almost as much as she hated hearing it. “I’m not jumping on the first dick I can.”
“It wouldn’t even be the first. Or second. Or…”
“Thanks.”
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“Hey!” Why did he have to drive this massive truck? Why did you have to wear these massive heels? Oh no, he’s getting out, fuck. Sy was next to you in no time, offering you his arm for support.
“Don’t want you twisting another ankle, right?” He winked – or tried to.
“Do that again!” You laughed, more at the thought of finally having something to tease him with than the fact that he looked really silly when he tried to wink.
“That’s a lot of lip from someone who can’t get dressed without spraining an ankle,” he threw back at you. Both of you laughed nervously.
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“I’d invite you home for a drink, but I have one room that isn’t a mess right now," you told Sy when you were done with dessert and your final cup of coffee, and you were running out of excuses to sit at that table any longer.
“I’d take you back to my place, but I currently sleep on a friend’s couch.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” he shrugged, “I was lookin’ into buyin’ a nice li’l fixer-upper a while back. Good amount of land, not too big a house. But I was too late.”
“Oh, shit, Sy, that really sucks,” you replied, not catching on to what he was trying to say.
“Yeah, it did. Place was perfect. But some European author slash college student…”
“Oh…” So you’d swiped his house. Lovely…
“Oh, Sugar, I don’t mind, I’ll find someplace else. Real question is: why’d you buy it? With the amount of work that needs doin’?”
“I don’t know… It passed the vibe check?” And the award for ‘dumbest answer ever’… Except… Sy didn’t look at you as if you’d gone crazy. Instead, the expression on his face kind of told you that he understood. Maybe?
“Right, feels like the kinda place you could really turn into a home, doesn’t it?” You nodded in reply to his question. He did understand.
“Except it’s barely even a house now…”
“Y’know what, Sugar? I’ll help ya out.” “Sy…” “Lara, I’m a small town contractor. You’re gonna be callin’ me sooner or later.” He moved his hand next to yours, not touching you. You remembered what Jules had told you. If he starts being touchy, you’re golden. But he wasn’t being touchy. This was the opposite of being touchy. This looked like being deliberately not touchy…
“But…”
“I’m not offering to do all of it in my spare time, but I can take on the project. And maybe offer up some evenings or Saturdays.”
And then you said the most immortally stupid words ever known to man: “Thanks Sy, you’re a great friend.”
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“You’re just friends? Sy you absolute… God I thought even you couldn’t fuck this up, but here we are. Leave it to you to let the whole thing go to…” Julie was pissed, there wasn't much more to say about it.
“Jules, would you step out of the way?”
“No, Patrick,” she said to her boyfriend, “I will not. That stupid game can…”
“Jules, move.” Sy snapped at her. Patrick turned around in his seat, one eyebrow raised, wondering if he was going to have to start a fight with his best friend for the way he talked to his girl.
“Do you want to sleep on that couch tonight?” Julie couldn’t hide the irritation in her voice.
“This is my house!” Patrick said, “you can’t boss him around in my house!”
“If you keep going like this, Sy can’t sleep on the couch because you will be needing it." She shot back at him.
“Listen, Jules, if it’ll getcha to leave,” Sy said reluctantly, “she was the one who said I was a great friend, I decided not to push it. I’m okay with that.” Julie just rolled her eyes in reply to that last bit – the hell they were okay with that. Neither of them could be okay with that.
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“Lara, I am done sticking my neck out for you, you know that? This was the last time. I can’t do this again.” There was no way she was going to give Sy an earful about this and not her best friend.
“Jules, please I’m…”
“Tell me you’re sorry and I will murder you, I swear,” Julie hissed. She took a deep breath before continuing: “What on God’s green earth have you got to say for yourself, huh?”
“I… It was too much, too fast. He got too close. He’s different. I like him.” You really tried to forma coherent sentence, but you ended up with word vomit. Oh well, might as well get it all out… “And he offered to help me with the house, it was so nice, but I don’t want to owe him. Not like that. And I thought it would be better if we were just friends. And he didn’t protest…”
“You have four braincells and they are taking a permanent vacation.” Jules was probably right about that.
“What do I do?”
“Nothing. He’ll be remodeling your house. You may be a total fool but you’re not made of stone.” She was probably also right about that. You had to admit to yourself – and let’s be real here, was anyone surprised? – that you hadn’t even thought about that. He’d be at your house.
“He’ll be at your house,” Jules said as if she could read your mind, “hammering, drilling. Nailing.”
“Jules, knock it off!” You laughed, but the truth was that you couldn’t shake the thought of a sweaty Sy handling power tools. Fuck.
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xceanlynx · 11 months
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This gotta be the last time I'm talking about it.
In my humble opinion, the "Boston is/isn't being punished by the narrative for being promiscuous" discourse here on tumblr/twitter/tiktok is starting to boil down to if you believe the producers intended for us to feel pity/sympathize with Boston or not - which is just a more convoluted way to say authorial intent vs. death of the author, i.e. a never-ending discourse. Let me try to explain my train of thought:
I, for one, prefer death of the author. To me, it doesn't matter if authors had a certain intention or not: if it wasn't 100% crystal clear, any grounded (as in with evidence) interpretation is just as valid as the original intent. Once the story is public, it is ours to interpret.
This is how I choose to interpret media, that's the way I think makes more sense to my beliefs. There is no "wrong" way to do it. If someone thinks the authors opinions and intentions matters when interpreting, that's fine, that's just not the way I and other people prefer to do it.
So when it comes to Boston's development and narrative, to ***me*** (gotta be very clear again), it doesn't matter if the authors wanted us to sympathize with him. It equally does not matter if they hated Boston and wanted us to despise him. It does not matter what they wanted to do. To me, what matters is the media they put in front of us.
And, to ***me*** and many others in the audience, there was a harsher punishment for him based solely in his sexual habits. I'm sure you can find the think pieces and evidence in many posts here on Tumblr, but I'll give you my main 3 points (and 1 side point).
You can skip them if you're as tired as I am:
Boston's friends constantly judging him by his sex behaviors - while the other presumed slut Top (I say presumed because, other than Boston - arguably, since Top was practically coerced by him - he never showed interest in people other than Mew) was given praise since he wanted monogamy now;
Boston was recorded non consensually twice + having said recordings spread by others (even being threatened to have his recording shown to his presumed homophobic father);
Atom falsely accusing him of sexual assault because he didn't want a relationship with him. Side note: this one gets me the most because some people use this storyline to justify the "narrative wanting us to sympathize with him" opinion. Look, I'm sorry, but if they wanted us to do that, Boston would have had no consequences for his false assault, and Atom would have for his false claim. Instead, we got Boston choosing to not graduate (a punishment first inflicted on him by his friends for his, I repeat, false accusation of a crime) and Atom confessing his own crime to his sister and receiving a "oh, you did bad but I'm proud you're out now" as a response. We got absolutely no catharsis from this storyline;
Boston is the only character to have an absolutely miserable final scene. Yeah, it was Nick's final scene too but he wasn't miserable, he was free from that really toxic dynamic. The only promiscuous character is the only one to get absolutely nothing by the end - as in visual media, what we actually saw with our eyes. I know he is most definitely better in NY, but we never got to see it. The classic show, don't tell wasn't used (and with a miserable ending scene like that, we needed to be shown, not just told by other characters that he is doing good);
Actually, scratch that: Boston wasn't the only one shown pursuing multiple people at the same time unapologetically. Do you know who the other one is? Boeing, a non character, plot device of a villain that also got a bad ending. Do y'all see my point?
This is what I got from his character development. This is what was shown to us, Boston being constantly berated within the narrative by the fact that he is a slut. In these points I did give my personal opinions, but the core of it was based on actual scenes from the series. Don't get me wrong, I believe there was a way for the narrative to simply portray him as a villain - if they focused more on the betrayal aspect of topboston car night than on the broad aspect of Boston sleeping around. But they didn't do it. They chose a language that in the real world would be slutshamey without a doubt.
And don't fool yourself, there is real slutshaming happening in this fandom. It may be directed at a fictional character, but the behaviors criticized are real. Real people can be slutty like Boston, and they should not face criticism because of this. Wanna hate on Boston? Please hate him for being a shitty friend, or for sleeping with Top, or because he lied to Nick. Not because he sleeps around.
I still don't know the crew's intention with his character, and I don't claim to know. I do have opinions on what the directors/writers/cast actually think of a character like Boston, but again, it does not matter when it comes to us as audience and what we think of it.
Am I saying this way of ignoring the intention of the authors is the correct way? NO. I just urge you to remember that we do not have all the information on the intentions of the crew. Actually, we have more evidence of them simplifying Boston's character as just a "slutty villain" (eg. Jojo's comment in a podcast - I believe it was the LoveCast? Don't quote me) than we have evidence of them wanting us to sympathize with him. Am I saying that this is what they had in mind while producing the series? NO. And even if it was, IT DOES NOT MATTER what they had in their heads. What matters is the finished product, and the finishing product, to me and many others, was a slutshamey narrative.
You can still have your opinion, disagree and all with whatever I said here. You aren't inherently wrong for thinking the authors had the intent to make us sympathize with Boston, as I said, we don't have access to their original thoughts. What I do not think it's cool is that there are people simply dismissing valid criticism, calling them absolutely wrong, as if the very skill of interpretation is static and monochrome. If everyone understood that, I guarantee there would be way fewer condescending posts here on Tumblr, on Twitter and Tiktok.
That's it. I'm done talking, this will be my last post about it. I doubt anyone will change my mind on this, especially the last paragraph part, but feel free to share your opinion.
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kithtaehyung · 8 months
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I’m vibrating with excitement AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 😭😭 I’m so nervous and scared but im so excited too!!! I will finished of my assignments so that I can re as chapter 12 as a reward🤧 thank you so much Ryen in advance 🥹🥺🫶🏽👏🏽 you are doing amazing!! Im so proud of you and I can’t wait to read your story 🫶🏽
Also about there still not being any hand holding 😭😭 it’s ok I guess (im preparing myself for the worst so that hopefully it won’t hurt as much)
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AHHHH i'm glad you're hyped! even though you're nervous and scared, but.. valid. bc same. i'm so nervous y'all i really do hope you all like this one fr even though it's A LOT. thank you for all the wonderful words and i'm glad you're prioritizing those assignments first. get those done to fully rest and enjoy<33
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sabraeal · 2 years
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as a writer how do you stop thinking about like getting kudos/comments? I've just started writing fanfic, and when I start a writing something -- it goes well and then eventually I get to point where I'm like "ahh but what the readers don't like that? or what if I don't get as many kudos or comments" and it makes it difficult to continue because then it becomes stressful -- I guess how do you deal with "wanting to write stuff for yourself" and "wanting validation" thanks!
You're going to hate this answer, because I hated it too, but TIME. When you first start writing and you get kudos and comments and people love what you're doing, it's a huge validation of your effort and talent, and it's natural that you want MORE of it. When I first started putting up fics I already had been writing for 15+ years, knew I was good at it, and still for a good few years found myself really glued to the hit counter, and the kudos, and wondering how I'd be able to get people to comment the same way they did on things like Seven Suitors.
But the thing is that commenting comes and goes in waves, and unless a fandom has a big comment culture, or is large enough that you're guaranteed a good glut of them every time you post...you're going to hit a point where you write exactly what everyone wants and get crickets. And at that point you'll get ANNOYED, because LOOK, I MADE THIS, i made it for YOU GUYS, and now y'all don't have anything to say? It'll get to you. It'll make you doubt that you know what anyone wants at all. It'll happen and it'll suck the whole time.
Lots of advice will say "write for yourself," which is an excellent sentiment. You should always write what YOU want. Put into your fic what you want to see, write the nitpicky poetic metaphors and craft the most screwball twists your heart desires. Pour yourself into the most niche AUs and most tin-hat canon theories. At the end of the day, you want the IDEAS you put down to be for you, because comments and kudos are nice, but if they don't come...you have to be proud of what you put out, even when it feels like an echo chamber.
But also...we don't POST things for ourselves. We post things to share. Fic are a conversation with canon and it is perfectly natural to want to create something that creates conversation among other fans. So you're never going to fully get the need for validation out of your head, you're not. You can hide hit counts and ignore your inbox all you like, but the want to have someone interact with your work, to inspire someone to reach out to you will ALWAYS be there. You just have to create a healthier relationship with it.
Be confident in what you write. Think less about whether people will like it, and more about how you WANT them to react. The reader is the most important character in any novel, but it's the one most authors forget to manage. When you come to a point where you go "oh man, I hope this is good for them!" stop and go, "what do I *want* them to be feeling here?" Focus on where you're putting their attention and whether you WANT it there. There's so much you can do when you visualize your relationship with the reader as PART of the work, and it takes off a lot of the pressure of "is this good? is it disappointing? will this get me validation?" and brings it back into the realm of storytelling. You are taking your reader on a journey, and when you do it well people will think less about "did I like that?" and more about "what comes next?"
#asks#writing advice#writing#please understand nonnie that what you are feeling is completely natural and part of the process#and shades of that will stick with you no matter how good you get#but the thing you want to keep in the center of your mind when it comes to that#is that you can only get kudos once on a fic and you are lucky to get a 1:100 comment vs hits ratio#so the instant validation WILL dry up and you'll have to have something about your story#that makes you push through. because people will come back and comment!#people will blow through 50+ chapter and leave you the most emotionally hungover review promising you their first borns#but sometimes you will have written a good third of them with NO feedback whatsoever#and you just have to trust in yourself that it's good. it's FINE#i used to obsessively check hits and be really put out to see how many people were coming and not commenting#especially when i wrote really emotionally driven stuff and really tore myself up to get those feelings through#but i also would have been miserable only writing fluffy 1 or 2 shots with no plot just to get the flush of comments those fics get#you just gotta do what you gotta do and let your audience find you. recontextualizing the relationship helps a LOT#i already was big on focusing on the meta plot of my works because as i said. 15+ years. had a lot of time to experiment and get good#but i still had to like. give myself the same pep talk 2 years in about how to view that relationship#everyone goes through it and if they say they don't they're a liar and i mean that seriously 🤣
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sticks-and-souls · 5 months
Text
20 Questions for Writers
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
Only 5. Some of y'all write so fucking fast.
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
19,583
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Basically just star wars, and within that, just The Clone Wars (but in my defense, that is a highly diverse universe). But I daydream around whatever media I'm consuming so if something sticks, I may write it (like Loki).
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Lmao, all five that I've written! But Battle Scars (star wars) and Moribund (loki) are basically tied in first place with each other.
5. Do you respond to comments?
Listen, I get really in my head about it. Like the answer is "yes" but also if it's been too long....then I feel like it's too late (RIP all comments for the 2nd chapter of Battle Scars). But comments are the BEST and I always appreciate it when an author responds to comments that I leave for them.
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Ha! Moribund.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Off Duty?
8. Do you get hate on fics?
No, thank god. I don't know what I'd do.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Not....yet........
10. Do you write crossovers?
No but I have read some especially good ones.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of?
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not that I'm aware of? Seems unlikely.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, but I think it would be rad. If @mithrandirl ever wanders back to star wars I feel like we could create something great.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Spuffy. The older I get the less I believe in "there's only one perfect person for you" and I'm much less rigid about who I ship characters with. But Spuffy hit me before that time and even in rewatches of the series there is something so deeply intimate in the way Buffy and Spike understand each other, validate their strengths and weaknesses, and complement one another in the best way possible for the lives that they're living.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
I don't have time for your naysaying! I will finish them all if I have to live to be 200 to do it!
16. What are your writing strengths?
Having my characters feel very true to character, I think? And dialogue maybe?
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Dude, I am so fucking slow at writing. My quality/speed relationship is a steep negative line.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Does it strengthen the writing, the story, or the characters?
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Before I realized that formulating entire stories in your head, and revisiting them over and over again until they're memorized, even if you never actually write it down still counts as writing (to me), Artemis Fowl.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
That's been posted? Battle Scars, but let the record show that Wa(te)r Born holds a very special place in my heart. I am deeply proud of the writing that I did there despite it being only 500 words.
But ultimately, my unpublished foxiyo fic is where my heart lies. Hopefully someday soon I'll start posting.
This is my extreeeeemely late response to @mithrandirl 's tag. I'm sitting at home sick so I'm not up for writing (is my excuse and I'm sticking with it) but I AM up for talking about writing. Tagging @ladysongmaster, @ninjigma, @captainlaurence, and @grave-cupcake, but if you write things consider this an open tag <3
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nopointic · 1 year
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it hurts my heart reading all the spoilers from the new BTS book not because they're spoilers, but because of how much sadness the guys went through. i met them in 2020. they could have ended in 2018 or 2019.
if it wasn't for BTS i would be in such a bad place right now.
because of them, specially Namjoon saying "your anger is valid", i left a job i thought i wanted my whole life. i went to this short school to be a medical assistant to work my way up the medical field because i've always wanted to be a doctor as a kid. well i got the cma job and it was awful. my first job at a hospital was bad, so i thought being at a doctor's office would be better. my boss was a raging racist who treated he staff of black workers like shit.
i was listening to Love by Namjoon everyday just letting the vibes heal me. i was so happy getting off work to listen to that particular song. i started to learn korean. i actually googled it and came across this huge youtuber who learned korean on her own and now lives in south korea. she talked about language school and a light bulb went off in my head. i was like, that's an option? this can be more than a hobby of mine to destress? because i love learning and i love learning how to communicate with others.
i quit my medical assistant job and gave up on being a doctor. after nearly over 2 decades of wanting it so bad. i kept getting blocked from it. and today i realized why. because it wasn't meant for me.
i finally understand the phrase "god (higher power of any sort) closes a door to protect you"
i could be tens of thousands of dollars in debt right now if i went to school to be a doctor. hundreds of thousands of dollars in fact. i'm not. i'm debt free at 31. not a lot of 90s babies can say that. and that makes me feel so lucky and grateful.
i suffer severe depression. i thought not getting to go to college was the worst thing that ever happened to me. turns out it was a blessing in disguise.
i now have new goals that make my heart actually happier. all thanks to BTS. to Namjoon's wordplay in Love. his vlog to ARMY about how our feelings and anger matter.
i'm so incredibly grateful for BTS being in my life. they helped me come to terms with the military trauma i suffered being in the usa air force as a teenager. i was just burying it and seeing them have to enlist gave me the courage to process my grief of being 19 and starting my hellish process of getting enlisted.
on good days or reflective days i do think everything happens for a reason. i mean, during my gratitude journaling i smile to myself thinking, all this pain in my life, all that grief, led me to 7 men in BTS and they make me so happy.
i took my first solo vacation to see Yoongi in concert at 31! the most ghetto stadium i s2g on the whole tour list, but i got to go! and i saw Jimin too! like i'm so incredibly proud of myself for traveling from georgia to new jersey by myself. i didn't think i could do it and i did!
i just wish them all the happiness and comfort in the world. they have given me so much! so much! i am forever thankful they stayed together and stayed in this music industry because i got to meet them.
and it's so wild because a lot of our last 10 years crossed at so many points and i'm like, wow, is this fate? was all this meant to be? it's weird sometimes looking back on this last decade. like i have minor ocd, and i avoided purple like the plague. and now? i have purple everything! purple and pink! i'm like, this is huge for me ok. they have just helped me so much.
i love them and i wish them all the love in the world. thank you BTS for making my life so much more filling. y'all gave me a new reason to live. i'm forever thankful.
borahae!
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I was the one who lastly (probably) requested a bts fake text au and it took me so long to answer because I can't check on tumblr a lot but I just wanted to say that I'm kind of sad that you have to resort to such bureaucratic things for this one thing that you do that makes you happy and that you share with us for free, but I'm also happy that you'll do that and also to hear that you have people that not only validate you but that encourages you to keep doing what you like. Idk why I have been thinking about how you expressed yourself and how said this really made you sad... I guess I'm worried and I don't know what to do about so I will just say what I can think of saying: you are really appreciated. I just wanted to come back here and say that your talent makes a lot of people happy and I guess that's kind of the call for everyone that creates anything or maybe it's just because y'all want to express yourselves and just want to share it bc your proud lol idk. I wanted to say that you must be a delight to be around way before this whole thing. I'm pretty sure I said it before but I have shitty memory: you are so funny and witty. I'm so glad you ever chose to share a piece of yourself with us and I hope that these things that shakes writers will not be responsible for making you give up on writing. I'm glad you have a support network.
(I have, like, really shitty, pathological even, memory. so please, forgive me if I'm annoying —as in repetitive, wordy or idek — bc it probably it's related to that lol)
This omg 🥺 you're so sweet. I've read this like 10 times already and it just makes me so happy to see 🥺
I genuinely can't wait to continue to share my work with everyone. And I want to thank everyone for being patient with me while I work through this 🥺
And I wanna thank you for popping back in and saying all of this 🥺 because it really means a lot to me. I appreciate you and love you so very much 🥺💕🥺💕
And don't worry about your memory or being too wordy. I'll never find it annoying. It's endearing and makes you you 🥺💕🥺💕
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kawaiixchaotic · 2 years
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RULER'S LAW RANT: I. LOVED. this event. The story was so compelling to me!! And y'all know I'm gonna write a fic for Alexa and Abigail bc they have so much chemistry!! Abigail really is so shrewd; a lot of Yuyao fans hate her bc of her betrayal, which is very valid, and I do feel bad for Yuyao's family, but for me, Abbie's shrewdness makes her even more fun as a character. I'm not sure we've gotten this much attention to a banner esper's background + personality in a while— with character development no less!! Although Abbie will probably never stop being so calculating, and doesn't see the point in regretting choices you can't change, it is clear that she has made quite the effort to open up and be more compassionate since she betrayed Yuyao. Whether she changed out of guilt, out of her desire to grow as a person, or even just to be a better mayor, I am proud of her growth. Personally I was very disappointed with Ashley's Fireworks Festival event, and I don't think she has much of a personality outside of "i Am tHe fIRst linE oF dEfeNse oF thE eSpeR uNioN" so I am very satisfied with Ruler's Law. AND to make it even better, I got my first ever banner esper!! I had 12 spins until pity in SSM and when I got to that last one, I said "She's going to come home. I believe in her." And so she came 🥺 I knew she loved me XD I suppose I manifested her just like I manifested Clara :3 I feel so lucky! I have been having the shittiest luck with GR it's not even funny. ATP, my only hope for a good esper is getting Apollo when I finish Spatial Tower, as I am already on floor 98. But let me not talk too much about it; to conclude, I LOVED Ruler's Law, I GOT ABIGAIL (and Odette actually), Abigail and Alexa are cute, and does "Shadow Decree Technician" have a name bc they're REALLY cute sksowksm
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