#adhd existential dread

[basically-queenberyl]

I think the reason I get so frustrated and annoyed when people tell me to not be so hard on myself about my routines and that I “don’t have to do it ALL the time, because it’s not the end of the world if I miss one thing,” is because when I don’t do it once or twice, I’ll drop it for like 3 months and feel like my whole life got derailed.

[slowfalter]

Build a successful morning routine

Take one yoga mat

Add dog hair

Make time for cold sweats

Existential dread for forty five minutes

Fresh coffee at fifteen minute intervals

That chest pain is probably gas

Maybe you just need a break

Or one of those miniature fridges for your make up

Then try to get dressed without looking in the mirror

It’s ok if you don’t recognise your own body

Maybe nobody does

Seek validation online

Are you a real person? Ten ways to tell

Where are your fucking keys this time

Get all generational trauma processed before lunch with parents on Sunday

Write down five things you are grateful for and then burn them

Ceremoniously

Misplace your organizer

[wanderingmind867]

Time, Time, Always Time!!! I can never get any permanent peace! No amount of therapy has fixed this fear! I'm turning 19 in February, and I hate it! I hate it!!! It's too fast! It feels like just yesterday I was only 15-16, or that my mom was still alive. But now that she's died, I have this looming fear of life and of my own mortality. It sometimes feels like I'm just going to snap under the stress. I hate it!

[rapidhighway]

I should probably work on my inability to do any work required of me but also that would mean doing work and the result of that would be continuing to do work, which I do not want to do

[space-blue]

IRL Character sheet

I was chatting with friends about our various neurodivergences today and one friend in particular is staying over because life is kicking her in the shins, so I started drawing this and asked what else should be on our spectrum checker and she deadpaned 'existential dread' so here we are. Did one for each of us, but you can have your own template for personal convenience lol

That's me, drawing this as I lost the plot twice removed on what I was supposed to do! weee

Vincent insisted his recent Gortash obsession did not qualify as fandom brainrot, just brainrot, because he, and I quote "brainrots on his own". I have failed multiple times to get him into fanfic.

The template:

I hope you can appreciate the scientific accuracy of the thing

[catgirl-kaiju]

I love it when my train of thought is even incomprehensible by ADHD standards. The other day I had,

These taquitos look so tasty! ->

Death for all things is inevitable. It is the destiny of all things to eventually fall and decay into the long march towards the heat death of the universe, and there is something deeply sad about that but also something beautiful in the way the everything is ultimately temporary. ->

Unicorns are so pretty!

Within the span of a fraction of a second.

[mariska]

well! bye everyone i'm off to re-read my fav book trilogy of all time that i havent read since their original releases when i was a teenager and also finally get to read the prequel that i never got around to reading for the first time so. i'll see u guys on the other side and by other side i mean i'll see u guys when i re-emerge into society drenched in blood and tears rambling about all the new mental evidence i will have collected for my years-long headcanon that Katniss is autistic and sobbing about how many more details of the whole story i understand on a more profound and deep level than my teenage self was capable of processing properly

[arzodae]

TEN FAVOURITE CHARACTERS FROM TEN DIFFERENT FANDOMS!

i'm gonna do ones i haven't rped to keep it spicy

sebastian monroe, revolution

mat cauthon, the wheel of time

sansa stark, a song of ice and fire

sabine wren, star wars

alysanne targaryen, fire & blood (this is technically cheating but shh)

carla roson, elite

raven reyes, the 100

bucky barnes, marvel

juice ortiz, sons of anarchy

ronan lynch, the raven cycle

tagged by: @forwardlion tagging: @korzion @wcrriorhearts @reiignonme @lcveblossomed

[cutiesncantrips]

.

[nishikitty]

nothing computes rn gahhh

[naranjapetrificada]

If there was any doubt I have ADHD (there wasn't) I have terrible impulse control re: opening ofmd fics that I know are going to hurt. Double because I regularly forget to filter out "Major Character Death". This morning I accidentally found a sci-fi one that evoked the kind of existential despair I haven't felt since reading Remembrance of Earth's Past and that's fucking saying something. Almost like the prospect of the end of everything is impossible to feel neutral about or even understand, creating overwhelming sensations of dread and fear and loss or something?

[rhysintherain]

A brief example of how my brain works (or doesn't, honestly):

Safety meeting today set a calendar event for safety meeting.

Safety meeting notification comes up a half hour before meeting. Better not clear it until I get there just in case I get sidetracked.

Go grab coffee. Remind myself not to clear the notification until I get to the safety meeting.

10 minutes later I look at my phone, notice the notification, go to clear it and then go 'wait shouldn't do that, I might forget to go to the meeting' before realising I am in the safety meeting. The safety meeting has started.

[wanderingmind867]

I thought of a good way to describe my issues again: It feels like a lot of things have piled up in the last few years. My mom dying is the biggest one I'd say, but me turning 18 last year and 19 this year have also been big stressors. There's also been the tablet thing too, plus me returning to school in person last year. It's a lot. The last big thing for me is High School ending. That won't happen for a bit, but it'll be added to the pile soon enough. Sometimes (and this is slightly hyperbolic language, I suppose) it feels like I'm buried in 15 different layers of stress. But I repeat: it only feels like that sometimes. Not 24/7, but also it happens frequently enough that I'd say it's not like it's a non-existent problem. I wish I could delay high school ending, even more than I already can delay it. Because I think I can go until I'm 21 (which means another year or two), but that still feels like so little time. I hope I can go until I'm 21. I don't know what I'll do if I can't.

[justashadetalkative]

IC Musings: Diamond

“You want to know what the trick is?” Diamond is grinning, but it’s brittle. “It’s pretty simple, really. I just — don’t think about it.”

He leans forward, one palm up and outstretched as if presenting a gift. “Think about it. Nobody goes around thinking about everything they remember 24/7, right? That just isn’t how it works. The things you’ve gone through shape how you move forward, yes, but for actual conscious memory...”

“Something reminds you of something, or you try to remember something that happened or something you know, and then — well, maybe you remember it and maybe you don’t. The only difference with my age is the scale of it. And the only difference with the memory spells is that instead of a ‘maybe’ it’s ‘definitely will,’ or sometimes things crosslink a bit and I get way too many results to parse and might as well not be able to remember, anyway. ”

He taps the side of his head. “The brain damage actually helps, almost — out of sight and out of mind times eleven, you see, and my sense of time is shit. The reincarnation helps, too. Most of the physiological contributors to PTSD die with the body, I’m pretty much forced to move on in terms of life circumstances, and there’s always something to do; any skills that take muscle memory need retraining, I need to learn about the new realm, there are new people to deal with...”

“But — ahah. That... the fucking scale.”

“I don’t... I don’t know how many people I’ve loved. How many people I’ve killed. How many families I’ve decided to abandon, and left them to deal with the corpse and the mess. I — do you get it? I can’t know that. It’s — the memories are there, and I know they’re there, and it feels like a fucking betrayal but there isn’t — there isn’t enough time in a lifetime to go through them one by one, and it’s pure luck if something reminds me about them. And it’s — I try not to be reminded, alright? I organize the knowledge like a library but I let the people fade to fucking dust, forgotten photographs in the attic. Do you...”

He hisses, an alien sound of frustrated disgust as he cuts one hand through the air, shifting gears. “...and, blasted stars, what if I could sit down and go through it all? Actually think about everything that I am and have been? What good could that possibly do? I mean — that isn’t — it definitely isn’t human, that much... would I still be a person, do you think? If I could hold all of it at once? Does any of this even make any...”

He takes a shaky breath, buries his face in his hands: fingers curling tightly in his hair and moisture against one palm. “...I need a drink.”

[sillyboigaylus]

It’s 1:30 am the yearly burst of adhd organizational motivation I just cleaned and reorganized my entire room in 45 minutes and now I’m attempting to organize my entire collection of rocks crystals and seashells but I feel like I’m about to crash and I have nowhere to put everything I need more shelves I need more shelves I need more shelves I NEED MORE SHELVES I NEED MORE SHELVES I NEED MORE SHELVES BEJAJDJWKFBANNDBDBALDKJWJDJDJCBDJAKKAOAOXJDBBSHFHSUSYHEBF I’m not tired but I’m so tired and I’m volounteering tomorrow oh god my closet is starting to look messy DONT ORGANIZE THE CLOSET DONT ORGANIZE THE CLOSET

anyway I found a bag of airplane pretzels behind my bed should I eat them they’re unopened but I don’t know how old they are

[foxgloveinspace]

Foxglove In Space’s Yearly Playlists Master Post