#adoption discourse

[postmoderntongues]

There is a lot of discourse on tiktok about how adoption is immoral and of adoptees coming out and saying they hate their adoptive parents and i was wondering, as a woman who does not want to have biological children but still wants to open my home to kids in need when I get the stability financially, is there an ethical way to go about it?

[echoes-lighthouse]

Christ alive, just woke up to someone picking a fight with me over the concept of adopting fictional kids, in a very aggressive way: someone who didn't even follow me and thought my fictional f/os were OCs despite their clear sources in my bio.

If anyone actually wants to have a productive and private discussion about how that's handled in my familial selfships and my personal feelings on adoption as a kid who spent years getting bounced around other families (and as a person who's considering being a foster parent in a financially stable future), then that's cool and fine.

For the moment, if I accidentally blocked that person's sideblog and they're still interacting with my blog with a different username but I can't see them anymore, please let me know. I've had that happen before and I'm not 100% sure if tumblr has fixed that ridiculous feature but I would appreciate the help from anyone who sees this post <3

[carapaced]

how did we lose the plot so hard with feminism and activism like seriously… are we forgetting that being kind and loving to the men and boys in your life, teaching them as kids if you are a parent to be kind respectful humans, and showing them how to be emotionally vulnerable and making a society in which it is safe to do so was like…. A huge part of feminism, dismantling patriarchal values, and creating a generation of loving men who are held accountable for their actions?

Why is it “kill all men yes even the trans ones and if you say otherwise you’re an MRA” and not “let’s maybe create a world that encourages good men.” Did we forget that feminism was supposed to be good for everyone and that the patriarchy harms men and boys as well?

Like maybe we should care about male loneliness and the male suicide rate BECAUSE MAYBE WED HAVE LESS SOCIETAL PROBLEMS if 100% of the population wasn’t traumatized by gendered expectations and not being taught decent communication skills/how to be emotionally vulnerable. And definitely we would if fucking redpill echo chambers weren’t the places most willing to accept and nurture (groom into hateful ideology) young men.

The problem has never been men, cis or trans, being uniquely capable of evil the problem has always been the fact that cishet patriarchal culture encourages and rewards shitty behavior that makes everyone involved bitter and miserable and calls it masculinity.

[boxeom]

It's almost like the twisted sense of familial ties and never being able to change the way they saw one another is the core struggle of Calebmc. It's almost like Caleb himself says this exact thing during his "I'm tired playing this game of house" rant.

It's almost as if their entire relationship is founded in being so closely bonded to one another to a point that they can still fall for each other despite the situation they were placed (and found comfort) in. It's almost as if Calebmc is an exploration of codependency founded in trauma, love that transcends modern societal morality, and cherishing the one person you have ever known unconditionally in every way you possibly can while you still have time.

If you cannot handle the canonical themes that are being presented, that is understandable and the exact reason the eng translation has given people who would be uncomfortable with this the "childhood best friends" trope. But to go around and harass and demonize those who enjoy the canonical aspect of Calebmc is ridiculous, immature, shortsighted, and chronically online behavior.

[fgmetanoia]

If they ain't FERAL and absolutely desperate for each other I don't want them

[thesulkycroissant]

Still thinking about the Order of the Robins, y'know. So here are a few full pages of them because I love them with all my heart. Like that one quote from B99, I've had the Order of the Robins for like a day and a half, but...

Yes, even Bitewing gets to make an appearance as (I hope) an honorary member of the Order of the Robins.

I love this panel -> "Robins, fly!" In my head, because of the nature of what they're doing, the Robins have established a series of chirps and whistles for communication throughout the city.

Dick Grayson, my beloved 🥰

One thing I find really intriguing about this panel is Tim saying, actually they did get all of us, when Cass is noticeably absent. But of course Cass would be noticeably absent. In my head, she is simply lurking in the shadows (the fic practically writes itself).

Finally, so many things about this panel. The story really shys away from Damian, for the probably fairly obvious reason that he can't be Bruce's son in this AU without a lot of problems. (He could be, Talia is around and looking gorgeous as ever, but Bruce is half-Kryptonian soooo.) But the fact that this is Damian's one line means so much to me. Especially with such emphasis. "No. That's NOT what Robins do."

Of course, Dick saying they're building themselves a nest. Also, Duke appearing to be second in command.

And finally, look at Bruce -

The face of a man who just realized he can adopt SIX children at once lol.

[cantthinkfoabettername]

Tons of people speculating that Vander had feelings for Felicia, or that Silco had feelings for Felicia. Why couldn't those feeling be of friendship? Why does everything have to be about shipping and romantic? Just because a man and a woman are close doesn't mean that they have to me romanticly involved.

[aropride]

the amount of takes i've seen recently along the lines of "actually, this notorious bigot ISN'T a bigot, because since they spend time thinking about something that makes them mad, so that means they have ocd and it's an intrusive thought" is so annoying and upsetting i wish half this site never learned the terms "ocd" or "intrusive thoughts." idk how to explain to you that bigots think about completely harmless things and dislike them because they are bigots and they are actively trying to stop those things from happening because they are bigots and ocd doesn't make you a bigot that's like the whole fucking point of intrusive thoughts is that they're egodystonic

[burningcheese-merchant]

Alrighty. I hate saying this, but. I'm probably going to delete the ship discourse asks in my inbox. Too many in there now and my mind is too clear to want to answer them

I think we've all been harsh with each other recently. Shouldn't have had to sleep on that, shouldn't have taken me longer than a few minutes to realize that, but idk. I went to bed last night and woke up this morning and... remembered how old I am and that I have better things to care about lol. But seriously, this recent update has really gotten to people's heads, mine included unfortunately, so I think we all need to take a step back and reevaluate ourselves

To try to explain (not excuse) myself personally. I, my friends and acquaintances, and our little fan community have gotten so much harassment for so long that now that the story is sort of tipping in our favor, I felt... vindicated. TOO vindicated this time around lol. For years and years now we have all been viciously mocked, shunned, called misogynists, called abuse apologists, we've been told to kill ourselves, we've been told bad things should happen to our loved ones. I couldn't help but feel smug when episodes 7 and 8 dropped, and then episodes 9 and 10 pushed me into being legitimately petty and mean. Like, all of this harassment was already pointless, now it's even more pointless because BxA is canon. Sore winner, "they hated Jesus because he told the truth" type shit lol

But... That's dumb. All of this is dumb. They're just video game characters. I'm an adult with adult responsibilities lol. None of this is worth getting bent out of shape about, on any side. Nothing wrong with respectful conversation and debate, but it hasn't really been that this time around. It's been gloating. Teabagging. And that's not cool. So I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry if I've upset anyone with anything I've said. I'm happy about Eternalberry but I've gotten TOO happy haha. I've regained mental clarity and thus the realization that I've started becoming part of the problem. I'm genuinely sorry for that. I want to go back to regular dork levels. Being spiteful and petty sucks, even if it's "justified"

Since I feel bad for leaving those asks awaiting deletion, A) mea culpa mea maxima culpa to those who sent them, nothing against any of you I just want to put the discourse to rest, and B) they all more or less say the same things so I'll just go ahead and bullet point my responses:

TikTok is perhaps the worst social media app ever created, it is an actual blight on society to almost biblical proportions, you are a fool if you listen to anything anyone has to say on there, your first mistake was going there in the first place, Tiktok Delenda Est

Twitter is definitely the worst social media app ever created, it is a blight on society that John meant to record in the Book of Revelation but didn't know how to describe it properly because the internet didn't exist 2000-ish years ago, you are a fool if you listen to anything anyone has to say on there, your first mistake was going there in the first place, Twitter Delenda Est, let's all point and laugh at the Trump-Musk divorce instead

Hero/villain ships are as old as human civilization and fandom nerds today have gotten really uptight about them, it's dumb and honestly really bizarre considering how prevalent it is in almost every piece of media, if someone doesn't like the trope that's perfectly fine it's not for everyone it does get pretty dark but a lot of people seem to put on gestapo uniforms when they're brought up now and it's a waste of time and energy. No one is holding a gun to your heads you guys, you don't need to do it to anyone yourselves

It's nice that I've apparently managed to convince some people to be more open-minded about BxA and hero/villain shipping as a whole, welcome to the club glad to have you, I'm sorry you've had to see some of us do our "obnoxious clown" routine recently, don't worry I'm washing my makeup off rn

I'm disappointed but unsurprised that BxA fans have been getting death threats in places, unfortunately that's how it's always been and it will continue to be that way even if all 5 pairs marry and have sex onscreen. No amount of canonizing in the narrative will change some people's minds. No amount of reasoning or olive branches will make them realize how ridiculous they are. Just have to accept it and ignore them

Cookie Run Kingdom is Baby's First Fandom for a lot of people, and a lot of them are actual, literal children, so all the black and white thinking and lack of understanding and respect makes sense, sadly. This is why I put my age in my blog description haha

Rule of thumb for me personally is to just block people who post hate in ship tags tbh. Spare us both the trouble. I've only responded to one post ever, and it was because the person was asking an honest question in a reasonable way so I thought it was fine to engage. I'd rather not engage people who want to attack and not actually talk. Blocking does us both a favor, I don't have to see meaningless hate on my dash and in tags I follow and they don't have to see content about ships they don't like from me. Win-win

Now, with all that said, I want to say some things I've said before, but would like to reiterate loudly and clearly one more time:

You do not have to like Beast x Ancient. It's perfectly fine and reasonable if you don't. It's not for everyone. Whatever your reasons are, I believe and accept them. I post about them a lot because I love them a lot, and I like talking about things I like. I do my best to tag properly so my weirdo babble is easier to filter out. My posts are more or less just preaching to the choir, I think lol. It's fine if you don't like that, it's fine if you don't like BurningCheese or Eternalberry, it's fine if you don't like Beast x Ancient. I am not your mortal enemy if you don't like them. I'm happy to talk to and be friends with people who don't. I already do so often haha

Furthermore, I want you all to know that no matter what I say about ships I don't like, I don't care if you do like them. I am not out to get you for liking things I don't. Which dolls you decide you like to make kiss is not my problem. I am not your mother, I am not your dictator, I am not God. My opinions are just that, no one is obligated to listen to me or take anything I say to heart. Yes, there are ships I legitimately hate with a passion, but I do not hate the people who like them. Not at all. That's a stupid thing to dislike someone for. I talk to and am friends with lots of people who like things I don't, both on here and irl. The world gets really lonely really fast if you refuse to engage with people who don't march lockstep with you. Especially with regards to fucking Cookie Run lol

Let's all give this nonsense a rest now. This is dumb. I'm dumb. We're all dumb. Let's stop being dumb. I'm happy to coexist peacefully with others. We'll all live happier lives focusing more on things we love than things we hate

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt II our flag means death but I've never watched it

HELLO OFMD FANDOM! It's the Good Omens Mascot and Resident Dumbass, back again for part II. First, let's clear the air of all controversy!

Some of you lovely maggots were kind enough to warn me about certain discourse about a salad spoon and also about a certain gentleman named Izzy. I was warned not to make assumptions and not to take sides, and I hear some members had to leave the fandom for a while because it got toxic. Maggots. All the rest of you. Worry not about me. I'm here to unite the OFMD fandom! How, you ask? By being so undeniably stupid in my own opinions that you all will have to unite to disagree with me. You underestimate the power of my dumbassery. Well, let's not dilly dally and dawdle, here's the updated summary:

I have been informed there is cannibalism on this ship but it is not real. Someone pretends to eat someone and then their wife helps them fake their death while they run away from the ship though their lover wanted them to run to China.

There are BDSM lesbians, which is honestly such a slay, Pinterest has let me down by not informing me of that when I made Part I. I will no longer be using Pinterest a reliable source in future academic essays.

Mermaid Stede performs necromancy while a song called Kate Bush plays (I don't know who this is, a politician? Idk whether of US or UK).

Gravy Basket is a destination and Buttons is a sea witch and there is educational stabbing. Buttons is then a bird because of the BDSM lesbians.

There is a lady who is extremely beautiful and intimidating and powerful and she has twenty husbands and I assumed incorrectly that you were all talking about a Jack Russel terrier.

Let's start with the controversy! Izzy. Secondary protagonist or antagonist? Good or bad? Kindly father figure or homoerotically charged friend? Necessary death or not? No no no. Behold:

I present a new question, a hot take sizzling from the pan: Did Izzy really exist?

Personally, I firmly believe that no, he did not. I believe that the rum on the ship was spiked with hallucinogens.

Izzy was simply the manifestation of Ed's Freudian subconscious, taking the shape of a human being, vaguely resembling a humanoid potato Ed was forced to boil as a kid. I was a psychology student with a final grade of 99% and I accept only destructive criticism on my posts thank you. Feel free to discuss whether he boiled the potato in a fit of rage or whether he was forced to.

There are assorted Ned's, Mary's and an uncertain number of Jeff's on ship.

One of the Jeff's is an accountant, and there is a nonbinary talking sword named Jim. Actually I'm not sure if they talk.

Love you all, rooting for the show to be renewed.

REMINDERS. Be polite to each other in the reblogs, on tumblr reblogs spread posts and not likes (which don't do anything for visibility) unlike other social media sites, but MOST IMPORTANTLY.

I ACCEPT ONLY DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, THIS BLOG IS A GODLESS, LAWLESS LAND, AND ALL RAGE AT EACH OTHER MUST BE REDIRECTED AT ME. UNDERSTOOD? YAY.

[disastergay]

y’know, there’s this weird thing fandom does whenever an adult character bonds with a child character. instead of letting their relationship be ambiguous, people immediately jump to “that’s their kid now, no ifs ands or buts” and sometimes even get pissy if you don’t agree.

I don’t have a problem with parent-child dynamic headcanons that differ from my own. what I don’t like is when people desperately try to shoehorn every found family, no matter how small, into that sanitized, patented nuclear family format. and then go out and harass people who see them more as siblings with a big age gap, or found family who can’t really be labeled by any more specific words than “family.” contrary to popular belief, they don’t “have” to be anything “more.”

like can we all chill for a minute? take my hand. let’s go smell the grass, together.

[dafpork]

dafpork is like a modern day speakeasy to me because everyone comes in like it’s forbidden but since it’s the modern day it’s perfectly normal. Little secret club

LMAO YES!!! THIS IS A REALLY GOOD ANALOGY.. AND SEE IT'S SO FUNNY because i'm like I DON'T WANT IT TO BE FORBIDDEN... i'm such an accidental hypocrite in that regard because i'm like "i want more people to talk about them i want people to be loud and proud it makes me sad to hear that people might have been initially embarrassed to ship them there's so much to love :(((( anyway here's my SHITTY ART of these people i HATE i'm so EMBARRASSED thanks for putting up with me in my SHAME CORNER UGH i'm so EMBARRASSED they're so EMBARRASSING i SUCK they SUCK it all SUCKS" LOL and i do mean it in a joking manner... mostly... but i'm kind of now at the point where i'm like. Okay well you're going to have to put in some more legwork if you want people to talk about them. (but, again, just the fact that people talk about and support them enough is so great! it's so weird and wonderful to me that people are calling it on dafpork on platforms other than this one, people who may not know i exist... it's cool hearing a term you and your friend came up with in a private discord be used, it shows how much growth there HAS been since there really used to be nothing!)

a dafpork speakeasy sounds so cool though oh my god can you imagine Porky and Daffy themed cocktails...............

COME JOIN US AT THE DAFPORK SPEAKEASY. which, you are not supposed to advertise that a speakeasy is a speakeasy. but it's subversive. like Daffy. or something. this is your sign to play pig and duck with us. yes you

[daz4i]

fandoms really need to stop tagging fics or describing dynamics with dom/sub when they actually mean active or passive. please

[fanby-fckry]

Help I just* saw someone call Katara a mother-figure to Aang. I know she’s the mom friend but holy fuck.

Katara is not a mother-figure to any of those kids, she’s a child just like them. She was parentified, in her own family, and it affects how she interacts with the Gaang, but it feels deeply unfair to her and the others to slap the label of “mother” onto her with complete seriousness, as if she, Sokka, and Toph coming to terms with that forced motherly/caretaker role wasn’t a whole-ass plot point.

*This is going in the queue so it’ll be a month or so since I saw the take before it gets posted, but I am reeling.

Edit: Oh boy, this came out of the queue on the same day I decided to make a different, potentially contentious post.

Let’s see if I keep it up or get so stressed by having 2 piss on the poor magnet posts up at once and delete it! At least I had the foresight to turn reblogs off when I queued it

[grison-in-space]

hot take: phrasing potential flaws of an animal in a less-intimidating, more appealing way is not the same thing as hiding or refusing to disclose those flaws. for fuck's sake.

hot take 2: not every relatively mild disclosure ("better with older kids who know how to read a dog's body language") is hiding a severe problem ("will eat your seven year old if they act like a kid"). when you are being asked to rephrase "doesn't like kids" and come back with "better with older kids who can read body language", that's actually providing better information for potential adopters than "doesn't like kids" about the dog's tolerance for small children.

hot take 3: the fundamental problem with shelters that do adopt out dangerous animals is not a function of attempts to help people write truthful and engaging bios that openly acknowledges situations and lifestyles that are a bad fit for any given dog. the problem is a problem of determining which animals go up for adoption, not how they are advertised. marketing a totally untrained, rowdy young dog as "ready to start training!" is fundamentally not the same thing as allowing a serious bite risk or a danger to children/other pets to go up for adoption, and acting like it is just makes communication harder for everyone.

for fuck's sake. y'all claim to care about nuance?

[dragongirluvula]

just found out about the hdg and I definitely don't vibe with it. It almost captures my interest but the hard stance opposition towards exploring the implications that come with a self designated benevolent empire that can solve the inherent problems that come from cultures who are supposedly inferior in some way by nature really like, both rubs me the wrong way and feels like a disservice to the setting itself.

idk just looking at every empire in history it's like, that's literally what they all say and how they justify colonizing others. It's kinda really fucking hard to just take at face value. If imperialist colonizers who just happen to be legimately nicies to the people they colonize is like, ur thing then absolutely jack off to it I'm not here to judge that, just like, own that I guess? But if your argument for them is just that narratively speaking it's just true then my interest in your setting, horny or otherwise just does not exist.

The contradiction of the setting also bothers me, 25-45% of any given species will be domesticated on average but the space between that and rebellion just doesn't seem to be accounted for in the wiki, what is the life of someone not opposed to the empire but also who doesn't volunteer for domestication? How much of their own cultures are retained within the empire? It really seems like the only option for any autonomy in the setting is rebellion but that's also only ever seen as a bad thing.

I just get caught on the whole "affini are imperial" and "affini are benevolent" thing in the axioms section of the hdg wiki. My mixed race ass cannot really look at an invading empire calling itself the good guys without my own personal baggage about it weighing in, ya'feel?