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this-is-exorsexism · 2 months

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welcome to this is exorsexism.

this is an account to highlight exorsexism, so that more people learn to recognise it when it's happening and we can fight it better.

what happens here is that i will post examples of exorsexism here as i encounter it, as well as submitted examples. this can be stories of exorsexism of offline or online exorsexism. if not immediately clear, i may provide an explanation of how something is exorsexist.

this is also a safe space for nonbinary people to vent or rant about exorsexism.

you can submit exorsexism you encountered to me via submissions or asks. if you send a screenshot of someone being exorsexist, please make sure to crop or censor any identifying information such as their username and profile picture. this account is for educational purposes and for nonbinary people to vent their experiences, not to send harassment to anyone.

exorsexism from within nonbinary and wider transgender communities is also welcome as that too needs awareness.

not sure if something you want to submit counts as exorsexism? submit it anyway and we can talk about it. and if you think your exorsexism experience isn't "bad enough" to be submitted: yes, it is.

credit where credit is due: this account is very much inspired by @exorsexistbullshit who sadly hasn't been active in going on 5 years, as well as casualableism on instagram.

submission rules:

since this is a blog to highlight a form of bigotry and oppression that also often intersects with other forms of oppression, a "no bigotry" rule doesn't make sense here. however, being bigoted towards bigots is not welcome here. this includes calling bigots or bigotry -phobic (i.e. "homophobia"), narcissistic, delusional, lame, blind, cr*zy, st*pid and more.

the key difference here is whether you are quoting bigotry you have encountered or whether you're being bigoted as well.

i am multiply disabled and we don't do that kind of thing here, so if i ignored your ask or blocked you, that's probably why.

what is exorsexism?

in short, exorsexism is the oppression of and bigotry against nonbinary people. it is essentially sexism directed at nonbinary people. furthermore, it also includes the hatred of anything heavily associated with nonbinary people, like certain pronouns. exorsexism ranges from the erasure of nonbinary people to outright hostility. there are many different kinds of exorsexism as there are many different kinds of exorsexism. exorsexism affects the whole range of nonbinary gender identities, including but not limited to agender, multigender, genderfluid, aporagender & xenogender people, as well as androgynes, nonbinary men & nonbinary women.

here's an incomplete list of examples of exorsexism:

- nonbinary erasure, not just erasure of all nonbinary people, but also of more specific gender identities

- forcing nonbinary people into the gender binary or creating new gender-related binaries to force us into (e.g. amab/afab, masc/fem, men/non-men, cis/trans)

- thinking gender can't be fluid

- thinking everyone has to have a gender

- thinking nonbinary identities are new, a trend, a choice, a phase or a way to try and be special

- erasing exorsexism as a specific form of oppression

- thinking nonbinary people have to look a certain way

- centring binary people & experiences in communities that have historically included us

- mocking they, it and neopronouns

- thinking that "everyone is a bit nonbinary"/reducing nonbinaryhood to gender nonconformity

- thinking nonbinary people are just deviations from binary genders, i.e. men & women lite

#this is exorsexism #exorsexism #nonbinary #enby #agender #multigender #genderfluid #bigender #pangender #genderflux #androgyne #demigirl #demiboy #aporagender #neutrois #maverique #xenogender

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fandomsandfeminism · 2 years

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So, this is going to be a little meandering and all over the place. But I'm trying to express this...web of thoughts I've been having lately around this issue of queer, and labels, and the way we talk about our history and the way the community conceptualized itself in this very digital age. And it's still kind of half formed, so...let's see.

So. OK.

One thing I see a lot online, especially with people who are just now coming out, is a sort of...overfixation on increasingly niche labels. Im not saying that having a very specific or newer label is bad, to be clear. Labels are rhetorical tools, use what is useful. They help with visibility and discussing specific issues. No issues there.

But watching people quibble over bi vs pan vs omni vs abro or non-binary vs genderqueer vs demigender vs genderfluid vs agender vs xenogender vs bigender vs gnc. Asexual or gray ace or demisexual or queerplatonic. And whether they are a biromantic lesbian demigirl or bisexual greyaromantic genderuid. And it's always just a little exhausting, ya know? Again, if those labels are meaningful and useful, that's great, but I see people *agonizing* over which they "really" are. Like if they pick the wrong word to describe themselves, they are coming out the wrong way, like they are wrong about themselves if they can't find the exact correct word on an FAQ list of lgbt vocabulary.

And how I think that relates to the way people talk about our CURRENT labels as though these labels have always been there and like the people described by these labels now have no common experiences with other labels. Like lesbians and bisexual women have absolutely nothing in common. Like butches and trans men have no shared history. As though trans women and drag queens have always been completely separate and unconnected groups. As though ace folks and nonbinary folks are somehow new to the scene, and not community members who were always here and just didn't have a separate label until more recently.

I *remember* watching the community make the switch from transvestite and transsexual, to differentiating between transsexuals and transgender, to basically just using transgender/trans. Those labels are not stagnant. None of our labels are some ingrained biological unchanging objective truth. Labels are rhetorical shortcuts to summarize this facet of our identity and lives and experiences- but they are just words.

And maybe this connects to the way people get really...weird about historical figures too. Like whether Sappho was a lesbian or bisexual, as though either of those words would have had any meaning to her. About whether Shakespeare was gay or bi, like he would have conceptualized his own identity that way. About what modern label Dr. James Barry would have used for himself if anyone could travel back in time and ask him.

And then I think about why queer feels so much more affirming, so much more a place of strength, than LGBT+. Not that LGBT as a label is bad, and I honestly probably prefer it for allies and outsiders to use. But as a community label- Queer, to me, says that all our experiences are queer experiences. Queer can be many things, but they are all queer. Regardless of how many genders or which specific genders you like, whether you have a romantic and or sexual attraction to whatever collection of genders, whatever thing your gender is doing today- all of it, ALL of it, once you step outside that cis, straight mainstream sexuality and gender norm- is queer. Equally queer.

Lgbt+ feels like we are still keeping all those labels separate, little boxes all lined up next to each other- different but a coalition. And while that isn't bad, I also think it isn't totally true.

[A caveat here, that there are times when more specific labels are very helpful. We don't want any specific kind of queer experience to be overshadowed or erased, and having more specific labels facilitates those discussions. Again, I'm not saying that we should eliminate or erase our more specific labels.]

But I think imagining our community as a collection of wholly separate groups that are just allied together, instead of one group that we are all equally in, can make it far too easy for exclusionists to sneak up and say "well ___ isn't REALLY lgbt. THEY aren't REALLY one of us. ___ dont belong."

If we take all the labels off all the crayons- red and pink and purple and blue and teal and green are not hard and fast divisions. They are artificial distinctions we have made- all of them are light, all of them the rainbow.

Anyway. I just think that, while everyone should use whatever labels bring them joy and are useful for them, we might be better off if more folks were ok with ALSO accepting the vast ambiguity of being queer.

#queer thoughts #queer rambling #maybe Im off here or missing some nuance #but Im bi AND queer #Im bi and genderqueer AND queer #and I think theres strength and beauty in seeing our diverse experience and saying YEAH all of us are in this together

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ftmtftm · 4 months

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I’m sorry but until xenogenders and neopronouns can understand that I don’t want to “share my pronouns”, that I want to go through life as a normal, binary man, that I want assumptions to be made, that t isn’t some fun thing but a medical necessity for the rest of my life, that being trans isn’t a celebration but a condition for me and that I never want to be in a pride parade or even really open about it, until y’all can respect that, every single one of you, at least the fucking majority of you, then i can’t take anything seriously. I have been outed, assaulted, misgendered, and a whole bunch of other shit by “Tucutes” who walked all fucking over me as a binary trans person, I’ve been forced to be okay with they/them pronouns and been forced to be called the t-slur by a fake trans person because it was “affirming” for them to use on “other trans people”, I’ve been forced to wait years for t because the lines weee clogged up because people wanted to microdose it because they didn’t actually want the effects but they wanted to feel special, I’ve been outed as trans by fake trans people who want everyone to know what a cool catch I am, I’ve been told how gross t made me, I’ve been pushed out of every space that makes an effort to include as many people as possible because they start using rhetoric that sounds like the same rhetoric my transphobic father uses.

I cannot ever find joy in being trans, there is nothing to find joy in for me. Ever. I’m sick of people acting like it’s fun and silly and goofy. I’m sick of people appropriating a medical condition. I will always be sick of it. I am truly sorry that you had someone assault you and that they happened to be part of a community that I am also, but all transmeds want is some fucking respect for not doing this for whatever “euphoria” or political reason but because we fucking have to. All we want is respect and to not have our medical condition turned into playing make believe that you’re a “catgender” or an alien or whatever the fuck, do that on your own terms I don’t care, but the association with dysphoria and the fact that you will spit in the fucking faces of dysphoric binary trans people? That’s why transmeds exist

Bullet points because genuinely, my patience is beginning to run very thin for you anon. My ask box and the new post button have two separate functions and I think there is one you should be using instead of the other.

This is just attention seeking behavior at this point, and I'll give it to you and I'll be compassionate but I won't let your shit slide.

I'm sorry, but this is genuinely like looking in a mirror at my 15-20 year old self and it sucks and I honestly feel very sorry for you. Your pain and upset is very real. Your feelings do matter. And? You need to talk to a mental health professional. Serious advice. You need a therapist or some kind of support group if you do not have one already. That is a lot of baggage that deserves to be explored with someone who can genuinely help you in a controlled environment - not the askbox of random trans people you take issue with because they remind you of traumatic events in your life. Your triggers and people who remind you of people who have hurt you are your responsibility to deal with. It's not the business of people who are literally just living their lives in ways that make them happy. The world doesn't need to change around you for your own comfort, you need to change yourself to make yourself comfortable.

It's honestly okay if being trans makes you upset. It's okay to lament and even grieve a life you wish you had but can't have because you are not cis. Again though, that is not an issue that people who aren't like you are causing though. It's genuinely your business to deal with those emotions - not theirs.

You are not a doctor. You are not a medical professional. You are not the one giving care and other people's medical needs, decisions, and histories are none of your g'ddamn business. It is absolutely ridiculous that wait times are what they are and that access to care is not what it should be - but that is a failure of the system not the people. You legitimately sound like working class folks who complain about people on food stamps "taking up all the government resources" and people who complain that "immigrants are taking all our jobs" right now. You are putting the burden of the system onto the individual when it legitimately isn't their fault. Ultimately you are actively being failed by the medical system you are attempting to covet, not by your fellow trans people.

I've also been told I'm disgusting for being on T. I've also been told I'm disgusting for wanting facial and body hair, for feeling comfortable in my masculinity, for loving being a man in all of its complexities. Even by other trans people. You are not alone in that experience. The solution to working through those emotions isn't to throw conservative complaining about food stamps and immigrants level tantrums about it like you are doing now though.

Being trans can be fun. Being trans can be silly and goofy. Again, it might not be that way for you and it sounds like you've been in an environment where you're not allowed to love yourself for any reason, let alone for being trans, so it's probably very hard for you to conceptualize experiences outside of your own - but you sound... very young. I promise it gets better with time and distance. Please leave the environments you are in when you are able, they don't sound healthy for you.

Point of order: My ex was not a transmedicalist, by any means. I was assaulted by them and felt disgusting and dysphoric because of it and found transmedicalism on my own afterwards to try to validate my sense of self. I was hurt by someone else and then turned my hurt into a weapon. It sounds like you've been hurt and are also turning that hurt into a weapon. I hope some day you're able to put it down.

#asks #anon #long post /#assault /#anti transmedicalism #anti transmed

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our-abinary-experience · 1 month

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let's talk about anti-xenogender bigotry, as it often reveals a lot of how people see gender, and especially nonbinary gender.

this post in particular is inspired by a reddit post i found by accident when i just wanted to download the xenogender flag (lol).

the post was shared by a trans woman who claimed that xenogenders aren't genders and thus not valid. she made sure though to say that she totally supports nonbinary people.

her first point on why xenogenders don't exist was that how valid a gender is is determined by its societal support, and since xenogenders are only supported in "fringe extremist "trans" spaces", they aren't real.

firstly, interesting that any trans person who supports xenogender people gets their trans card revoked. we're no longer trans, we're "trans".

secondly, hinging the validity of a gender on the amount of social support it has directly contradicts with her supposed support of nonbinary people. maybe she happens to live in the most nonbinary-friendly place ever, but overall, the very concept of nonbinary gender does not have a lot of societal support. so, according to her logic, nonbinary people are inherently less valid than binary people. some might even say that only fringe extremist "trans" spaces support nonbinary people. and, while trans itself is not a gender, if we add gender modality to the mix, then binary trans people don't exactly have massive societal support either. as a trans woman, does she consider her womanhood less valid than cis women's? basing the validity of a gender on societal support doesn't make any sense because there actually isn't a single monolithic society, and the societies that have historically recognised and celebrated more than two genders have been forcibly binarised by white european colonisers. did nonbinary gender become less valid over time and now it's slowly gaining validity as support for us is slowly growing? none of her logic in this makes sense. her rhetoric is inherently exorsexist and binarist, not just against xenogenders but basically against any nonbinary gender which she claims to support, and against cultural genders too.

the "societal support" argument completely falls apart because it means that every marginalised identity of any kind is inherently less valid and less real. she's revealing her bigotry here: it's not really about societal support, it's about which genders she arbitrarily decides are real and valid.

her second argument why xenogenders are not real was that any gender that exists outside of a triangle of male, female and genderless doesn't exist. you can only slide between those, like being hallway between male and genderless or in the middle of all three, but not outside. this is the classic gender trinary of male/female/agender and it's how i used to see gender as a baby enby.

firstly, gender isn't bound to whatever spectrum you personally decide is acceptable. there are many ways to be outside of that triangle besides xenogenderness. this logic basically says that the only valid way to be abinary is to be agender. not even abinary men or women exist in that logic, since the concept of abinary doesn't exist besides agenderness.

so, how can someone say she supports nonbinary people while saying a whole lot of us aren't real, even the ones who aren't xenogender, simply because she, as a binary person, thinks she has the right to decide what the gender spectrum looks like and whose gender is real and whose isn't?

all her points on why xenogenders aren't real also apply to multiple or all nonbinary genders. especially coming from a binary person, it reveals a huge ignorance to the nonbinary experience as well as a very narrow view of gender.

we're all in this together. clearly, exorsexists can't tell the difference between someone who is xenogender or someone who is, for example, ilyagender, or maybe even someone who happens to be within that gender triangle but within that have a gender that is not socially supported, like proxvir.

this is all the more reason for all of us nonbinary people to stick together and not draw lines in the sand about which nonbinary gender is valid and acceptable. if something harms one of us, they always end up harming all of us in some way. we're in this together.

#abinary #our abinary experience #actually abinary #xenogender #nonbinary #enby #exorsexism

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us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2 · 6 months

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Us-the-voices intro card!

this is a work in progress but currently it will house the tags we use, our DNI, and alter intros and a couple other fun things!

——————⭐️🦀SIDE BLOGS🦀⭐️————

@us-the-voices-xenogender-blog

A blog for all things blinkies, xenogenders and pixel art

——————🛑‼️WARNING‼️🛑—————

THIS BLOG CONTAINS BLINKING, FLASHING, EYESTRAIN AND OTHER PHOTOSENSITIVE THINGS! PLEASE BE SAFE, WE WILL TRY TO TAG AS MUCH AS WE CAN BUT IT WILL SLIP THROUGH. PLEASE ONLY LOOK AT TEXT POST FROM US, IF YOU HAVE EPILEPSY BECAUSE I CANNOT GUARANTEE THIS BLOG IS SAFE

this blog talks about mature topics! Such as Sexual abuse, death, trauma, child abuse, ableism, sexism, racism, police brutality, some really depressing environmental issues, homophobia, transphobia, queerphobia, gore, capitalism, and MORE!

so please consider this your warning!

———————⚠️ DNI ⚠️—————————

Terfs/radfems, transphobes/queerphobes, (I have had enough of you. Why do you have to be so awful Jesus, it’s not like awful people don’t come in all shapes, sizes, races, and genders. I ain’t defending awful people. But trans people just exist and I believe in judging people on a person to person basis. I don’t think you are bad I just want you to shut up about it, I’ll always be loudly supportive of trans people and loudly a feminist too. So deal with it! Also I don’t hate men, why would i??? So shush)

ableists/sanists (like the people who discriminate against mentally ill people),

animal abusers/people who spread misinformation about animals and animal care, (I hope you stub your toes)

syscourse (yeah I don’t ever want to engage in it idc shut up this blog is about literally everything else BUT that.),

bad faith gender/other Identities (E.G BLM gender, transabled, ect.)

racists/xenophobes/antisemites, misogynists.

non-binary exclusionists.

pro-censorship people.

anti-therians/otherkin, (if you are it’s not a deal breaker lol, it’s just some of us are therian/otherkin due to plurality)

only NSFW blogs (like if you occasionally post NSFW your okay, if it’s less than 50% nsfw your fine on this blog lol),

MAP’s AND PEDO’s and people who like l*licon/sh**tacon (fuck off and stay off) (sorry I am actually anti censorship but following our most recent ban I’m being more “careful” when mentioning these topics so sorry)

Dream Stans (yeah I fucking hate that guy, I like MCYT but dream and co can stay off of here REAL) (I have always hated him and I will continue to, fuck off dream Stan’s),

anti-good faith xenogenders (yeah so what if the term xeno-identities is more the “right” term idgaf! I literally have no qualms nor problems with xenogenders, in my mind it makes sense because gender is a social construct and so why not have fun with it?)

And more to be added :)

WE ALSO BELIEVE PEOPLE CAN CHANGE AND GROW, AND HATE IS LEARNED SO IF YOU WERE ONE OF THESE THINGS IN THE PAST AND HAVE NOW REFORMED I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU!

——————————- ALTER INTROS —————————————

Now expanded in our tumblr page!

Pop (hi I’m pop, I’m usually the one on here when it’s not everyone else. If you see me more than usual it means LIFE happened. I’m technically host? But me, Lena, And poppie kinda share that role. They/them he/him)

poppie (cat girl, you see her a lot on here. She’s SUPER into the veganism scene and animal rights and is a cat-therian lol we all love her she’s the best. She/her any cat neopronouns actually.)

Lena (demon, yeah she’s a demon! She’s nonsense hardworking and in the demonkin/otherkin scene. She/her)

belle (psychology nerd, actually knows how to write ANYTHING is honestly the best. She/her)

————————————. Tags ————————————————-

#Anticapitalism stuff (a tag that argues against capitalism, and trashing multinational corporations and a bit of environmental stuff.)

#anarchism stuff (a tag for all things anarchism)

#art stuff (a tag for stuff related to the ethics, discussion, or making of art.)

#music stuff (for all things music and music theory!)

#tv and movie stuff (the tag for film and television, kinda fun kinda sad! It’s good tho)

#anti-censorship stuff (a tag for anti-censorship stuff, and why it’s important!)

#trans stuff (a tag for all things trans! Includes dark topics, mostly happy stuff tho.)

#queer stuff (a tag for all things LGBTQIA+, mostly happy but with triggering and dark topics.)

#mental health stuff (A tag for all things mental health, let it be help or just memes or darker topics.)

#mental illness stuff (a tag for specifically mental illnesses, like anxiety or depression or whatever usually REALLY dark but sometimes happy usually dark tho.)

#veganism stuff (a tag for all things vegan, not recipes just ethics and whatever. I [pop] don’t usually add to it but poppie does ALL THE TIME.)

#disability (for all things disability, let it be activism stuff, vents, information, or just funny stuff! It’s a tag I tend to use for myself because fun fact I [pop] am not okay! Health wise lol.)

#punk stuff (A tag for all things punk, let it be C-punk, madpunk, neuropunk or whatever! It’s a tag for all things punk! Including art, crafts, sewing and punk beliefs and politics I love punks I am not really one due to a whole lotta reasons but I love them so much <3 )

#environmentalism stuff (Climate change, mass extinctions, greedy corporations and politicians, animal rights, and more stuff. Mostly climate/animal related but intersects with disability stuff, anarchism stuff, activism stuff, and veganism and punk stuff. Fun fact these types of things are extremely intersectional but are never presented as such due to infighting!)

#healthcare stuff (The weird tag related to health and healthcare, not a disability tag, not a environmentalism tag literally health and healthcare which is weird. Mostly PSA’s)

#animal care stuff (For all things animal care, I disagree with veganism’s doctrine here. Keeping Some animals and keeping animals can be done well and awesomely and help petstore and wild animals, but people who do animal care just absolutely trash just don’t deserve anything or anyone. It’s a fine line, but I genuinely believe if you take good care of your animals and give them an amazing quality of life I genuinely don’t see a problem with keeping animals.)

#animal abuse stuff (Goes hand in hand with animal care stuff, it’s pretty bad at times, it is what it says on the tin. Mostly also animal care stuff.)

#child abuse stuff (For stories, children’s rights, or experiences. It’s pretty dark.)

#youth liberation (for youth liberation stuff, it’s important honestly.)

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#uhoused stuff (Same same but different, more related to cost of living crisis’s and capitalism then disenfranchisement and outright just the sad reality that is being mentally ill and homeless or a substance abuser and homeless or trans/queer and homeless or any other absolutely insane and awful reason people are homeless.)

#communism stuff (For all things communist, I don’t super believe it will fix anything and it is kinda extremely hard to get rid of monetary currency. But communism, socialism, anarchism, and punk theory are all connected in ways and have some BASED ideas and principles. So yeah that’s why it’s tagged on here!)

#socialism stuff (I actually do believe socialism can work, it’s definitely not the end all be all of ways to govern/live life but I think it’s a good stepping stone to all different wonderful things that can change the world for the better, usually the CIA/FBI/US government appears a lot in this tag due to reasons that will become apparent. But it’s a fun one!)

#fat stuff (A tag about fatphobia, diet culture, ableism and just annoying stuff about being fat lol. Mostly medical negligence and malpractice because holy shit fuck is it bad in this tag. Also Eating disorders are talked about in every post in one way or another, it’s a big problem. Dark tag.)

#religion stuff (A thing for all things religion, it’s basically every criticism and deep cut anyone and everyone has on every single religion, which yk obviously no one literally agrees with anything. It’s mostly everyone going “QUEER/TRANS/DISABLED/WOMEN/“SINNERS” DONT DESERVE THIS TREATMENT IT MAKES NO SENSE!” Other religions “NO THEY DO” and it’s actually very well written and argued for. Also atheism is talked about a lot too, it’s mostly like a deep philosophical and ethical debate that has spanned literally everything and everywhere where it’s all boiled down to “yeah some fuckers deserve prison, but the average normal guy kinda just exists we guess??? Religious or not???? And there’s kinda nothing wrong with it but we would rather them be religious in some way????” And that is still the shittyist summary ever too. But it’s the gist of this tag. Also memes!)

(and where I put all stuff related to religion it’s very much a mixed bag i’m not making fun of anyone actually it’s that there is genuinely too much variety in this tag to accurately tell you what’s in there. It’s everything related to religion all religions!)

#autism stuff (Specifically for autistic stuff, it’s used from time to time.)

#activism stuff (a tag for all things ally posting, and human/animal/land/just everything rights. It’s fun!)

#food stuff (A tag about all things food related, sometimes recipes sometimes diet culture and why it’s bad. Sometimes it’s just cultural things related to food. Food is a big topic LOL)

#comics and book stuff (a tag about all things comics, books, and written works.)

#tv and movie stuff or #film and tv (a tag about all things TV and film, let it be discussion, gifs, or videos or fun facts.)

#neurodivergent stuff (For all things neurodivergent! Fun stuff, kinda happy kinda dark. Intersects with mental health stuff and mental illness stuff and disability tags. Because like why wouldn’t it???)

#animals (yes just for animals, nice calm usually no triggering animal stuff. It’s just cuteness usually! Unless I put something dark in there then sorry.)

#too queue for school (A tag for all queued stuff I remember to tag! Usually wholesome most times not. But it’s just a fun “today’s thing queued!” Thing if I’m not online.)

—————————————- Our post tags —————————————

#us-the-voices Cooks (a tag for recipes, food we make, and random cooking tips???)

#us-the-voices reviews (a tag for all things reviews! Let it be movies, shows, games, art, books, fanfics, whatever!)

#us-the-voices talks (A tag for like personal affairs? Or just “haha update stuff went DOWN in our personal lives” or just general chatting with mutuals who knows I haven’t decided yet.)

#us-the-voices recommends (weird tag for all weird recommendations of shows/books/tv/fanfic/movies it’s there it’s weird and if your bored and want something to do maybe you’ll like it lol.)

#us-the-voices rants (a tag for rants, don’t take them seriously it’s usually momentarily sad/existential/angry/fed up/annoyed/trauma dump RANTS. suggest you just block the tag lol, I will probably make half of these while I’m unwell and sick or just stressed and under all sorts of stress. So honestly it’s just a tag so you guys don’t have to deal with it because I will eventually be stupid on the internet and I’d rather you understand these are nonsense rants that are just a release of information that’s been annoying us.)

#the voices talk (A tag for talking about alters or specific things some alters want to talk about but not all.)

#poppie weblogs (poppies tag for her stuff, it literally has everything in it.)

and more to come!

——— User boxes ———————————

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BLINKIESSSSS

below the cut because they strobe!!!!!

#INTRO CARD #system things #gif #blinkies #epilepsy warning #flashing lights #flashing gif #flashing warning #flashing images #flash warning

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genderfluid-info-blog · 13 days

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Hello there!

Currently I'm questioning if I'm gender fluid, but I feel like the strongest "base" identity is me being a binary trans man!

Does that contradict each other? That I'm gender fluid but I'm mainly binary? I don't feel like my genderfluidity is inherently "non binary" despite it also contains non binary and xenogenders, and I wouldn't appreciate if people tell me "yeah you're gender fluid thus you're inherently nonbinary!"

And I wonder if you have the term for it? Genderfluidity that mainly encompasses binary man and masculinities + some non binary womanhood, but never binary womanhood? And that the binary manhood is strongest?

Thank you 🥰

Hi! First off, you don't have to be non-binary in order to be genderfluid! While the term "genderfluid" falls under the non-binary umbrella, you don't have to identify as non-binary as well just because of your genderfluidity. There are going to be people who will disagree and shove you into the "non-binary box", but please ignore them. You're the only one who has a say in your identity. Use the labels that make you comfortable <3

As for your question, I would recommend the label genderfaunet! You could also call yourself a genderfaunet trans man if you wanted to, since you mentioned that it's your base identity and that you have a strong connection to binary manhood.

Here is my post about the meaning of genderfaunet, it fits your description pretty well🫶

Another label you could look into is genderfloy: Genderfloy people are genderfluid, but mostly male. They can fluctuate between any genders, including feminine ones, but they are mostly male in some way (e. g. they are male most of the time, their masculinity or manhood is more intense than the other genders etc)

I hope I could help, you're very welcome!🩷🤍💜🖤💙

#asks #genderfluid #transgender #nonbinary #lgbtq #lgbtq+#lgbtqia #lgbtqia+#trans man

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batpoisonz · 2 months

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My experience as a 2S gaybian:

Before all this, I was exclusive to "contradictory" labels all the way up until early 2023. I then labeled myself as an mspec lesbian, because as a 2S person, my gender and sexuality are impacted by my cultural experiences way beyond that of someone's binary thinking. Most white transphobes couldn't even comprehend my experiences with me being 2S.

When I was exclu; it was simply just my own ignorance. I was influenced by those around me who did not understand the labels themselves. I listened to their arguments and at the time it made sense. Until inclu people came by and explained the labels to me.

I was the only one in my friend group who sat down to have a discussion with these people. and their arguments made even more sense and disputed all the arguments my friends came up with!! It was an insane and confusing experience. When you want to be loyal to your friends but something they do is just so morally wrong, you wouldn't know what to do either!

This is where I start to understand, and when I started to become critical of both sides. I thought exclu people were "radical" as well, but being "radinclu" simply just wasn't "radical" to me just for including queer people in the QUEER community, ya know?

At the time even tho my stance was changing and developing, I still fought against mspec lesbians and gays; simply because I was scared of being an outcast, that I'd get harassed by exclu people, that people would be racist to me, etc etc. but I soon learned it was the complete opposite.

AS SOMEBODY WHO IS GAYBIAN, when I was exclu I experienced MASS AMOUNTS of racism; to the point I felt like I had to leave twitter (even after I made my account private). I had people questioning my validity as a native american simply because I was an ignorant homophobe.

Say it with me: IGNORANCE DOES NOT EXCUSE RACISM!!

I even had people calling me a chimp, a creature, I've been called a chimera, I got mass reported, I got called multiple racial slurs, of which not all I could even reclaim, I got called a hermaphrodite, way way more happened. my cc got filled with racism and homophobia too!! all because I was ignorant on the subject.

Not once did I call an inclu person (while I was exclu) any of these horrible things or harass them; I just blocked them and moved on with my day.

I will admit I was a bigot for sure but I would NEVER wish any of these things on anyone.

It doesn't stop there though. when I came out as gaybian, I lost almost ALL of my online friends. I also was closeted irl because I had people at my college getting VERY hostile whenever somebody mentioned you can be a bi lesbian.

Those same people were okay with the idea of being a biplatonic lesbian.

basically, my point here is that even as you evolve and grow as a person, become more accepting of not only others but also yourself; the queer community is extremely divided. Even IF everyone agreed that "contradictory" labels weren't an issue, it still wouldn't stop the heartless attacks we all get as queers on the daily. exclus said the SAME THING about neopronouns and xenogenders 7 years ago that they're saying about mspec lesbians and gays today. AND THAT'S A PROBLEM.

The US is climbing towards eradicating all of us as queers; starting with trans people, and they're slowly inching on towards homosexuality. People WITHIN the queer community are more concerned about how we label ourselves, when we all have our own unique oppression as queers, AND SHARED OPPRESSION AS WELL!!

I've legit heard people saying the hate crimes I've experienced as a gaybian don't actually exist and that I'm overreacting because my identity isn't real.

You know who gets the same thing told to THEM?

Most queers will hear that same quote; ESPECIALLY nonbinary people and trans people in general.

everyone who is queer, is queer. whether you "agree" with the labels or not. we are QUEER for a reason.

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transunity · 1 year

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Just a gentle reminder to those who are not only discussing transunity, but are discussing the experiences of non-binary people in general: transneutral is not a catch all term that applies to all non-binary people who aren't transmasculine or transfeminine. There are a wide variety of trans____ experiences out there such as being transmaverique, transmultigender, transandrogynous, transxenine, and transagender. When talking about trans issues, using a tertiary of transmasculine, transfeminine, and transneutral is just as ineffective and only slightly less exclusionary than the transmasculine/transfeminine binary. Transneutral is not a synonym for "all non binary people who aren't transmasculine or transfeminine".

If you are looking for language to describe non-binary people who don't fall into the categories of manhood, masculinity, womanhood, or femininity, abinary/aphorian are both terms that were created to describe exactly that. Genders such as neutrois, agender, stellarian, many xenogenders, many cultural genders, and many neurogenders fall into this category. If you want to be even more specific and want to specify that you're also not talking about neutral and androgynous people, atrinary/aterniry/atertirary are terms you can use. Genders such as maverique, gendervoid, aporagender, all outherine genders, many xenogenders, many cultural genders, and many neurogenders fall under this category. All atrinary genders are also abinary (ex: maverique is also an abinary gender identity) , however not all abinary genders are atrinary (ex: neutrois is an abinary gender but not an atrinary one).

There's been a lot of confusion on what language should be used to replace "transneutral" when talking about non-binary people who fall outside of manhood/womanhood or masculinity/femininity. Hopefully these are suggestion that can be of use to people not just discussing transunity, but discussing trans issues in general.

-Prisma

#exorsexism #coming out of hibernation to say this #abinary #atrinary

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trans-enby-culture-is · 11 months

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This is a culture blog for trans people!

Meaning everyone who is under the trans umbrella (or can be under the trans umbrella: trans men and women, nonbinary people, xenogenders, questioning people, anyone not cis or who think they aren't cis). Also cis people you are welcome to like, reblog, follow but please don't hijack posts. I don't gatekeep here, just everyone be respectful of each other.

So how does it work?

Send in an ask or submission that starts off with: "x culture is". x being trans, non-binary, gender queer, agender... Be as general or spasific as you want. Then add in anything you like having to do with being trans.

Then I'll post the submissions!

Please don't use "nb" when you mean non-binary (it originally meant non black, and shouldn't be used in this context)

Wait aren't there blogs like this already?

There are some general trans/enby culture blogs, but they haven't been active in years, so I'm stepping in to the void.

This blog is inspired by other culture blogs:

@aro-culture-is, @ace-culture-is, @ndcultureis, @depression-culture-is, @gnc-culture-is, @apl-culture-is, @nonamorous-culture-is, @demi-alterous-culture-is, @demigirl-culture-is, @demigender-culture-is, @queercutlureis, @questioning-aspec-culture-is, @autigender-culture-is, @neopronoun-user-culture-is, @genderqueer-culture-is, @genderqueercultureis, @aspec-culture, @no-empathy-culture-is, @disassociation-culture-is

Lists of culture blogs:

part 1: orientations and general queerness

part 2: gender identities + intersex

part 3: neurodivergency

My main blog: @it-is-only-a-novel

DNI: the usual, I don't hesitate to block.

Edited on 14/10/23

#trans enby culture #trans #transgender #nonbinary #enby #demigender #agender #gender queer #gender fluid #gender flux #xenogender #neurogender #intro post

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plutos-flags · 6 months

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neoAGAB update

Personally Assigned Birth Gender and BirthGenderPunk flags

-= color meanings =-

sky blue - perisex trans/non-binary people

plum - visibly intersex people

grape - non-visibly intersex people

coral - community and solidarity between all neoAGAB users

dark magenta - feminist/anti-sexism and acknowledgment of how AGAB is often used to uphold patrilogical ideals and stereotypes, effects childcare/child safety in these regards, etc

dark purple and indigo - intersectionality surrounding AGAB such as medical queerphobia, ableism and anti-queer history involving intersex people, etc

cyan - acknowledgement of the medical neglect and malpractice that often stems from the sexism, queerphobia, racism, and ableism the modern medical field was founded on

light blue - solidarity with other punk movements such as medpunk, queerpunk, and transanarchism

-= notes =-

when i made my initial neoAGAB post, i had defined Personally Assigned Birth Gender (PABG) as "someone who either rejects their AGAB in favor of one they prefer, doesn't wish to disclose their AGAB for whatever reason, or simply doesn't find the concept of AGAB to be important/relevant enough to care and choose their own". i still stand by this definition for PABG; however, i will be adding a new one for BirthGenderPunk (BPG).

BirthGenderPunk is, as the name implies, a punk identity is opposition of assigned birth genders. one can have many reasons for doing so, whether they're intersex or perisex. this includes but is not limited to:

being visibly intersex and coerced into choosing either male or female and having "corrective" medical procedures done as result

being chromosomally, hormonally, or otherwise not visibly intersex and not finding out until much later, possibly suffering medical/social/etc problems/hardships as a result

being transgender, non-binary, xenogender, etc as not identifying with your AGAB for any reason

being transgender, non-binary, xenogender, etc and having personal conflict with one's AGAB

recognizing that along with gender itself, AGAB is also a concept and shouldn't be as prioritized as it is in society as well as the systemic issues it attributes to

etc etc etc

with all this said, i would like add that this isn't an "attack" on terms such as female/male and AFAB/AMAB. female and male are biological terms. PABG and BGP are specifically about gender and AGAB, gender being a sociological construct. many people like myself have issue with AGAB because of how it's pushed both by society and the medical field.

many intersex people are either not acknowledged as intersex or are operated on w/out their consent to appear as perisex, despite the possibly very fatal risks of doing so. not to ment. that many perisex people also feel uncomfortable with the concept of AGAB because of the societal expectations often tied to their AGAB, how AGAB is treated as a second binary along with gender and how that affects trans/non-binary people, etc etc etc.

-= end =-

these terms are free to use w/out permission. if reposted or shared off-site, please link back to this post and credit me.

disclaimer ;; i did not create the concept of neoAGAB nor do i know who did. these are my terms inspired by it, in collaboration with the neoAGAB community.

#pluto's flags #flag post #term coining #neoagab #neo agab #mogai #liom

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jasperthehatchet · 6 months

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🌟🌿welcome🌿🌟

🦎 My name is Hatchet! I'm an adult human who uses any/all pronouns

🌞 I'm an anarchist, passionate about disability rights, inclusivity, queer trans nonbinary and intersex rights, indigenous rights, environmentalism, prison abolition and restorative justice, and all those wonderful things <3 as well as fighting against racism, antisemitism, police brutality, fascism, capitalism, colonialism and oppression/bigotry of all kinds

*** Tags with resources and donation links include: #palestine, #sudan, #armenia, #congo ***

🌵 Hobbies: sewing, mending, upcycling, painting, embroidery, bookbinding, dream-journaling, thrifting, cooking, jewelry making, basket weaving, and various other punk crafts as well <3 basically I was put on this earth to Make Stuff. I'm also a collector of shinies and trinkets like dice, coins, shells, rocks, crystals, rings, keys, thimbles, bells, etc. Any shiny trinket you can think of I probably collect it

Hobbies I'm looking into starting: paper making, paint/ink making, stone/wood carving, leather working, terrarium building, gardening and lino printing/stamp making :)

🌻 I am very active on Pinterest for art inspiration, if you'd like you can follow me here (or search @juno_monsoon)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

• IMPORTANT THINGS TO NOTE •

1. I block empty blogs

2. Minors: I have no authority over you but please beware. This is not really an NSFW blog but I do reblog stuff about sex/kink positivity

3. You can dm me or send me asks whenever, i encourage you to reach out if you want to talk about hobbies, politics (in good faith), crafting, art, music, fandoms, or whatever! Just don't be a jackass

4. I don't respond to being tagged in chain posts

5. DO NOT repost ANY of my art or creations please and thank you

6. I tag critical role spoilers with #critical role, #critical role spoilers, #cr spoilers and #critrole spoilers

7. Spam liking/reblogging is perfectly fine I don't mind it at all. Go nuts

8. Things I've made/mended are tagged with #hatchet mends things and #hatchet makes stuff

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

YOU'RE GETTING BLOCKED IF:

- you are a terf, swerf, radfem, transmed/truscum, "gender critical" or exclusionary in any capacity whatsoever

- you're "anti men" or into that "i hate men" nonsense. It's not cute, its annoying and shitty. No anti-masculinity nonsense here

- you're antisemetic. If you're weird towards/about Jewish people in any way you will be swiftly blocked. I mean it. You need to be okay with hearing about leftist antisemitism and how deep it runs in leftist/pro-palestine circles if you're gonna follow me

- if you're islamophobic, weird towards/about indigenous people/cultures, or or even just racist/xenophobic in general, that will not be tolerated and you will be blocked immediately

- if you're (loudly and annoyingly) anti-porn, anti-kink or anti-fetish in any capacity. It's okay if you're personally uncomfortable with those things for any reason obviously just don't make it other people's problem

- you're against: xenogenders, multigenders, aro/aspec people, mspec people, mspec lesbians/gays, intersex people, non binary lesbians, he/him lesbians, she/her gays, amab transmascs, afab transfems, or any identities or labels that "don't make sense" or are "contradictory". Queerness cannot be sorted into any boxes and labels don't matter so if you're gatekeepy or gross about identities you don't understand then this blog isn't for you

- you're fatphobic. If you're in any way fatphobic or infantilizing towards/about fat people? Blocked. Don't be weird about people's bodies.

- you're not normal towards/about deformed or disabled people. If I see any kind of ableism or weirdness about any disability or disorder? Blocked. Don't be weird about people's bodies.

- if you're a blog that promotes or romanticizes dangerous things like eating disorders, self harm or anything like that you will be blocked immediately AND reported.

- I hate reblog bait and guilt tripping posts. I don't care what they're about, if I see that on your blog or my dash I'll block you because I think those posts are annoying as hell. Also of you think suicide baiting and telling people to kill themselves for ANY reason is okay, get blocked. No exceptions to this.

#pinned post #dni #long post

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cupofdirtandworms · 11 months

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I'm tried of being scared to do mogai shiz

I highly suggest people don't just use he/they pronouns and refer to me with and neo pronouns as well (includes emoji pronouns)

Flags in first panel

Uranic, ace, myr aro heart, trans loop, paraboy loop, non binary ribbon, agender ribbon, disability crown

Flags in 2nd through 5th panel

Aroace and trans

Flags in final panel

Cryptidmothman- a Subterm in the CryptidGender gender system, where one is a mothman like cryptid, a cryptid who is mothman, both cryptid and mothman, etc. (Coined by @Blood-moon-night-coining) Cryptidboy- to identify outwardly as a man, but inwardly as a crypid-like entity (coined by @m4lwareangel ) Mothmangender- gender connected to mothman (including it's aesthetic, or moths/crypids in general) in some way, shape, or form (coined by @mogai-gallery) Mothmancomfic- a gender relating to being comfortable in mothman and/or having mothman as your comfort crypid (coined by queermogaigremlin, flag by @sunshinesolaic) Acrptigender-a gender related to cryptids, the forest and mysteries. It feels very faint and can be confusing, like it barely there. It's inherently genderless due to the unclear nature of cryptids (coined by @genderyboy) Mothmanic- a xenogender that feels related to mothman this gender can feel hidden or cryptic (coined by @xenogender-flags) Raincatgoric- a gender relating to cats, rainbows, neon colors, gore, black cats, and/or rainbowcore (coined by @snas-is-ness) Mothmascic- a gender that is masculine in nature related to/effected by moths or mothman (coined by @thefolklorecollective) Crypmagian- gender connected to crypid magic. This may apply to witchcraft or fictional magic. (Coined by @pupyzu) Shycatgender- where ones get feels timid or shy yet also related to cats in a way (coined by @novas-writing-rambles) Starrylavendercatgender- a gender relating to starry nights, lavender, and cats (coined by @chaotically-an-emilyy-deactivat) Sillycatboygender- when you gender's just a silly catboy (coined by @genderstarbucks) Catboygender- (flag by crispnuqqet)thi Tomgender- a xenogender fully identifying as male and catgender. (Coined by @bubblez-is-sour) Catboygamergender- cannot re-find it please help if you can Six eyed gender(name might not be correct) cannot re-find this one, I know it's when your gender is like a six eyed monster. Please help if you can Eldritchine- a xenogender connected to eldritch horrors in some way (coined by @nebularomantic) Transmasc Paraboy Non binary Agender Uranic Asexual Myrromantic ADHD autism Annulian Catgender

Sorry if citing the original coiners in unnecessary I just want to me sure. Please tell me if any of them is wrong.

#lgballt #xenogender #catgender #trans #gender go brrrrr #pronouns #digital art

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your-bigender-big-brother · 2 months

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Atrinarity and Other Gender Qualities

(An essay below the cut.)

We're all familiar with the binary of masculine and feminine - these are pretty common experiences for just about anybody, not just trans people. Most people find themselves somewhere on or between these two points, or even a combination of the two in some way. You've likely seen them in the form of fem-leaning, butch, masculine-aligned, high femme, soft masc, etc. Sometimes, you'll see them in combinations called epicenity (or androgyny for the old-school folks.) This binary has a surprising amount of flexibility and you'll come to realize that there are gender experiences even outside of this.

Masculinity and femininity are called gender qualities and they can describe more in-depth facets of our gendered experiences. Maybe someone is masculine and nonbinary, or feminine and agender. Maybe they are fluid between masculinity and femininity. But these aren’t the only two gender qualities that exist.

When you expand beyond the two qualities of masculine and feminine, you’ll see that there exists a trinary of masculine, feminine, and neutral. Neutrality may describe the experience of being between masculine and feminine or it may describe several qualities coming together to sort of “cancel out” each other, turning into a more neutral experience. Neutrality may also encompass experiences entirely outside of the binary. This isn’t to be confused with genderlessness or a lack of gender identity, called being agender.

However, masculinity, femininity, and neutrality do not encompass the entirety of the human experience. There are gender qualities like nullity (having a null or missing gender) and epicenity, both of which may fit within the trinary or outside of it depending on the individual experience. Not much of a trinary, huh? In fact, it sounds more like a quaternary or quinary. For now, we'll stick to talking about the trinary to make it less confusing.

Let’s go back and imagine the gender trinary makes up one flat triangular shape with its points marked by a dot representing a gender quality - masculine, feminine, and neutral. We can call this our base. Lay it flat and imagine a fourth point that floats above it - something that lies outside of the trinary altogether, called atrinary. Now it's a pyramid of identities. All atrinary identities exist outside of masculine, feminine, and neutral but are not always genderless. Some people may consider agender to be an atrinary identity (which is why it isn’t usually included in the trinary, but it depends on who you ask.)

Atrinarity includes identities such as maverique, which is an autonomous gender that isn’t masculine, feminine, male, female, neutral, or anything in between them while also having a genderedness to it. Outherine describes atrinary identities that aren’t necessarily autonomous (like maverique) but are also not xenine - that is, qualities that don’t fall within the typical human understanding or categorization of gender. (Xenine identities include xenogenders, which lie outside of any kind of gender model we may conceptualize, but that’s for another time. What we’re focused on is outherinity.)

Keep in mind that this model of atrinarity is talking about gender qualities, not genders themselves. This is why I didn't mention nonbinary, as that is an umbrella term for different genders outside of the binary of male and female. Gender qualities are typically used to describe the nature of our genders, our gender alignments, or our gender expressions. It's sort of like an added layer to our genders (or lack thereof, as genderless people can have any number of gender qualities as well.) Outherinity is no different, as it describes an alignment or expression outside of the gender trinary.

Is it easy for you to imagine femininity? Or masculinity? What about a combination of the two in some way? These are subjective and yet real gender qualities that we may use to explain our relationship to gender and how we align ourselves with certain gendered concepts. When you get into the neutral-to-null territory, such as being neutrois, you may find it easier to imagine it as a more individualized experience that varies depending on the person using the label. It’s not a de-gendering of the self and it’s not automatically a genderless experience. While it’s hard to imagine a genderless quality or one that is neutral, many of us use labels like these to describe our experiences with gender in a more complex way than what we’re used to. Maybe someone feels like they are far removed from the concept of gender altogether, so they may consider their gender expression to be null or agenrine (of an agender quality) no matter how they choose to dress. Maybe they call their gender quality neutral because they don’t feel like their gender experience falls within the binary, trinary, or anywhere else. They might also experience every gender quality at once, so they come together and sort of “neutralize” each other. That’s neutrality too.

This is how you can visualize an outherine gender experience - in the context of adapting gender qualities to one’s gender experience depending on how one wishes to use the label. Outherinity may describe someone who sees their gender as existing beyond anything we’ve ever had a name for. However, someone who is outherine doesn’t necessarily have to be entirely removed from trinarity, nor do they even need to have a gender! Outherinity can be used to explain an extra layer to one’s male, female, nonbinary, neutral, maverique, or agender experience. It can be their way of “queering” an identity that isn’t atrinary or it can be a way to describe an experience that is similar to the gender binary but existing on its own plane.

If you were to ask a dozen outherine people what their experience with gender is, you’ll end up with at least a dozen answers if not more. That’s the beauty of the gender experience: It can vary greatly depending on the individual and there’s always something new to learn. Hopefully you learned something new yourself, about atrinary identities and how there are so many more labels out there than what we’re usually familiar with!

#bbb.txt #bbb.essay #queer essay #atrinary #gender qualities #aporine #maverine #outherine #your bigender big brother

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fictionfreedom · 8 months

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how the hell is it transid people's fault that trans people get killed??? i promise you a group of a couple hundred people online isn't resulting in the high rates of violence against us and saying so is actually just disgusting.

this is just respectability politics bs all over again. "non-dysphorics make us look bad" "non-binary people make us look bad" "xenogenders/neopronouns make us look bad" as if people wouldn't hate us either way. you should rather work towards trans acceptance instead of putting people down and blaming them for actual fucking deaths.

also the we don't own the word trans lol. trans is from latin and means cross/across (if i still remember correctly from my classes, but it is latin) and is used in many other words.

I do not think the people themselves make us look bad, the label is the problem here and that's it. And have you seen the medias reaction to literally just therians?? Not even alterhumans entirely, just therian themselves and otherkin? Stuff like that absolutely will end up causing the media and news to have outbursts and then it's gonna round back to the whole "kids want litter boxes in school!!!!" bullshit. Yes, the "trans" can be used in ANY words, but stuff like transaged and transabled are similar enough to what being transgender is for some crazy ass news people to use it as a way to start doing more harm to us, and especially the transaged thing because they will likely try and use that to call us groomers more, for obvious reasons (I do not think that transage people are groomers, but that is 100% what those people will see them as)

#transid #transage #dont hate transids #transabled #biid #chronosian

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gendercensus · 2 years

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Shaking up the checkbox system

Some of you might already be aware that I’m considering a new system for choosing which terms are on the checkbox identity list in future annual surveys, because this year's results under the existing system would result in the addition of 12 new terms, and none would be removed - making the checkbox identity list 45 terms long. (We usually add 1-4 new words per year and maybe remove one, so +12 and -0 is very unusual!)

At 33 this year it was already too long. People were struggling to find their identities in the list even with the filter, which risks data quality as they use the textboxes instead, and increases the risk of the participant abandoning the survey. We also get a lot of people saying stuff like “you should explain what these terms mean, because I’ve not heard of half of them” - that sense of alienation is another thing that increases the likelihood of a participant closing the tab before the end.

I’ve been running a consultation since just before I posted the 2022 report, and there have been 1,339 responses, which is pretty great - thank you all very much for your participation!

This blog post will go over the hypothetical checkbox list under the established and the proposed selection systems, combined with (and informed by) the results from the consultation survey. We’ll start with an overview of the list under both systems, and then I’ll go into more detail on how each list was constructed and why.

THE ESTABLISHED SYSTEM

Under the current system, the checkbox list will look like this next year:

agender

androgyne

autigender

bigender

binary

boy

boygirl

butch

cisgender

demiboy

demigender

demigirl

dyke

enby

fag

faggot

feminine

femme

gay (in relation to gender)

gender non-conforming

genderfluid/fluid gender

genderflux

genderfuck

genderless

genderqueer

gendervoid

girl

girlboy

guy

lesbian (in relation to gender)

man

masculine

neutral

nonbinary

queer (in relation to gender)

questioning or unknown

trans

trans*

transfeminine

transgender

transmasculine

transsexual

woman

xenogender

none / I do not describe myself / person / "I'm just me"

That’s 45 checkboxes. Terms in bold would be new for 2023. In the survey they would be presented in a randomised order, to reduce primacy and recency bias. (Unfortunately, for bias reduction reasons I cannot sort or categorise terms in the survey in any way.)

There would also be up to 20 textboxes directly underneath where participants can type their identities that were not listed as checkboxes.

THE PROPOSED SYSTEM

Here’s what the checkbox list would look like next year under the proposed system:

agender

binary

cisgender

dyke

enby

fag

gender non-conforming

genderfluid/fluid gender

genderqueer

man

nonbinary

queer (in relation to gender)

questioning or unknown

trans

transfeminine

transgender

transmasculine

woman

none / I do not describe myself / "I'm just me"

That’s 19 checkboxes. Terms in bold would be new for 2023. In the survey they would be presented in a randomised order, to reduce primacy and recency bias. (Unfortunately, for bias reduction reasons I cannot sort or categorise terms in the survey in any way.)

There would also be up to 20 textboxes directly underneath where participants can type their identities that were not listed as checkboxes.

HOW THE ESTABLISHED SYSTEM WORKS

The 1%/3% thresholds

Currently, if a word/term is typed into a textbox by over 1% of respondents in either the 30-and-under or the 31-and-over age group, I add it to the checkbox list.

The age group thing is to make sure that over-30s, who usually only make up about 14% of responses, see words in the checkbox list that they can relate to - so that they don’t look at the survey, see a bunch of stuff that feels alienating, and then immediately check out and close the tab.

If I add a word that has a very clearly corresponding word, that is added to the list too for completeness and comparison, even if it wasn’t entered by over 1% of participants. (For example, if I add transmasculine I have to add transfeminine, or if I add transgender I have to add cisgender.)

When the list started to get a bit too long, I added another rule that lets me remove words from the checkbox list when they become less popular. Words selected by under 3% of both 30-and-unders and 31-and-overs should be removed from the checkbox list, unless they correspond with another more popular word that is remaining on the list.

The removal threshold is higher than the addition threshold, because when a word is a checkbox it is selected more often than it would have been entered into a textbox. Now that I have more data on The Checkbox Effect, I’m aware that the 3% threshold is too low and would need to be higher.

HOW THE PROPOSED SYSTEM WORKS

Multiply and rank

Now that 12 checkboxes have been added over the years and 2 have been removed, we are in a position to observe how much more often a term is selected as a checkbox than it would have been written in.

I call this the Checkbox Effect, which is the tendency for a term to appear to become suddenly more popular when it gets added to the checkbox list. I speculate that it might be because a checkbox reminds people of a term that they do relate to, but that they might not have independently thought of as a term to write into a textbox. (Also, checking a box is easier than typing something.)

The best way to show you what I mean by this is to show you on a spreadsheet:

(I’d show you the numbers for the checkboxes that have been removed, but there’s only two and they’re not suitable for use in this exercise - one is 36.7x and one is 6.5x!)

So just to make sure we’re all on the same page:

Right at the top, gender non-conforming was typed into the textboxes by 1.1% of participants in 2018, and after it was added to the checkbox list it was chosen by 24.3 times as many people in 2019.

Right at the bottom, demigender was typed in by 4.1% of participants in 2015, and when it was added to the checkbox list in 2016 it was chosen by 14.8% of participants, which was 3.6 times as many people.

That’s quite a wide range, but let’s use the median of 8.9 as the multiplier. (I often find that with sets like this, which have a couple of very high or very low outliers that would skew a mean, the median is more accurate.) The plan would go something like this:

Choose an optimal number of checkboxes to have in the list. Enough that everyone can choose at least one, but not so many that it gets hard to find your identity/identities on there, and not so many that it gets exhausting to scroll through and make a decision about each one (which is a thing that some participants do like to do). For the purposes of this explanation, let’s say the optimal number of checkboxes is 🥑 (an avocado emoji).

Use the multiplier (8.9x). Assume that a textbox answer would be chosen 8.9 times as often if it was a checkbox. Multiply all write-ins by 8.9. So if a term is typed in 10 times, its total (for the purposes of this exercise only) becomes 10 x 8.9 = 89.

Combine the checkbox terms (and their statistics) with the textbox terms (and their multiplied statistics), and rank them by [popularity/assumed popularity] descending, i.e. with the most popular at the top of the list.

Choose the top 🥑 terms to be checkboxes in next year’s survey.

So, we simulate how popular a write-in would be, in order to compare it to existing checkboxes and decide whether or not it should be on the list.

When we multiply a textbox term in this way, we are guessing at how popular it would be. (For this reason, we can’t use this guesswork in the reports or the spreadsheets of results, this method would only be used to work out which terms will be checkbox options.) As we saw in the above table, the multiplier isn’t an exact, fixed number - it’s kind of a judgement call. My choice depends on a lot of factors that we can’t really see properly. What causes some words to become only 3x more “popular” and some words to become 10x more popular, or more? That means that when we choose a multiplier, we have to take into account that:

If we choose a higher multiplier, more of the uncommon words get a chance to be added to the checkbox list, which gives more different people a chance to be and feel represented by the survey - but there might be a lot of different words being added and removed year-to-year, and some more popular and well-established words might be removed from the list than they should be;

If we play it safe and choose a lower multiplier, the list would be more stable from year to year, but some textbox terms that are genuinely becoming more popular than checkbox words might appear to be less popular.

So, as I said above, the median Checkbox Effect is 8.9x. We don’t have any experience of using this method to go on, so we might as well use that for now. (We can adjust it in response to new data etc. in future years, which is reassuring.)

Next let’s choose 🥑 - the ideal number of checkbox items in the list.

In the consultation I asked people what a comfortable number of checkboxes would be for them. Here’s the results:

That’s 29.1% saying 11-20 checkboxes, followed by 25.2% saying 21-30 checkboxes. So I’d like to keep it to between 11 and 20 checkboxes, and within that margin I’d feel more comfortable aiming higher. Let’s say 🥑 = 20 next year and see how it goes.

I’m guessing you don’t need to know the exact ins-and-outs, but if I choose the same number of words from the top 10 of each of the two age groups (12), combine them (13 unique terms), and factor in the terms that have to be there no matter what (2) and the “opposites” that I would have to add automatically (4), the list is 19 items long and looks like this when sorted alphabetically:

agender

binary

cisgender

dyke

enby

fag

gender non-conforming

genderfluid/fluid gender

genderqueer

man

nonbinary

queer (in relation to gender)

questioning or unknown

trans

transfeminine

transgender

transmasculine

woman

none / I do not describe myself / "I'm just me"

Dyke and fag are new. If the multiplier we chose is too high, those two words will be less popular than expected next year, and they might fall back off the checkbox list for 2024.

I feel like most people could probably choose at least one of the listed identities, but if they can’t, they will have 20 textboxes directly underneath.

ADDRESSING CONCERNS ABOUT THE PROPOSED SYSTEM

Some participants expressed concern that some established and popular words would leave the checkbox list. The following words from the current checkbox list would be lost:

androgyne

bigender

boy

butch

demiboy

demigender

demigirl

femme

gay (in relation to gender)

genderflux

genderless

gendervoid

girl

lesbian (in relation to gender)

neutral

trans*

When I say they would be “lost”, that makes it seem pretty negative, but participants would still be able to type those words into the textboxes, and those textbox entries would be counted, receive the multiplier treatment, and then be considered for inclusion in the checkbox list the following year.

Some people also said that they would feel unhappy about me “moving the goalposts”, by saying this year that a word would be added to the checkbox list if it went over 1%, and then introducing new criteria after some new words meet the old criteria - so some words that should have been on the list next year will not be. For the record, the eight words that went over 1% this year in one of the two age groups and that would not be added to the checkbox list under the proposed system are:

autigender

boygirl

faggot

genderfuck

guy

masculine

transsexual

xenogender

I can definitely understand there being some annoyance about this! But data quality is already suffering with 33 checkbox options, and I’m more than a little bit worried about what would happen if that list went up to 45.

And the thing about annoyance is, I pretty much annoy people every year, even when I stick to the rules I made and am very clear and transparent about. For example, I constantly get emails and comments in the feedback box saying that I should add various terms to the checkbox list because they are marginalised or otherwise very deserving of increased visibility, even though they have never been typed in by anywhere near 1% of participants, and sometimes are not even related to gender. (Two-spirit, intersex, and plural spring to mind.) And, over the years, people have consistently asked me to remove terms from the identity checkbox list and the pronoun list because they’re (sometimes, in some contexts, to some people) offensive, even when those terms/pronouns are very popular. (Mainly queer, trans* [no footnote], and it/it pronouns.)

So there’s two relevant things I factor into my decisions here:

The checkbox list is not a winner’s podium or an attempt at correctness (political or otherwise); it exists to improve data quality and to make the survey easier to fill in for the majority of participants. The bar for inclusion on the checkbox list has been incredibly low thus far (1% in only one of the two age groups), and if your word doesn’t meet it, the checkbox is unlikely to have much effect aside from confusing people. While your identity terms are valid and do deserve visibility and recognition, a checkbox in a survey is intended to observe that visibility/recognition, not create it.

While the Checkbox Effect undoubtedly exists and does make some terms appear more or less popular than they actually are (and I don’t think there is anything I can do about that short of ditching checkboxes and doing only textboxes) (no I will not do that), if it didn’t exist I’m pretty sure the order of the top of the list wouldn’t actually change that much. Words that are typed into the textboxes are counted and any word can be looked up in the results spreadsheet, even if it has been entered only once.

A lot of people said that they don’t like the checkbox list being limited at all, and every identity should be on there. I’d refer those people to point 1 above, and I would also suggest that perhaps you don’t want all 14,622 unique textbox entries on the checkbox list. You probably don’t even want the 2,665 entries that were typed in more than once.

A few people said that they really like poring over the checkbox list and considering whether each identity applies to them. That’s understandable, speaking as a person who spends two months of the year poring over lists of genders literally thousands long! However, if the survey is enjoyable that’s a happy side effect. The survey’s main goal is to collect very specific information from as many people as possible, as easily/quickly/efficiently as possible.

A bunch of people suggested a fancy question/answer design where there’s a textbox, and you start typing a word, and if the word is a checkbox it makes you check the box, and if the word isn’t a checkbox it lets you enter it as a textbox answer instead. This sounds extremely fancy and I love it, but:

It would be more complicated to code;

People have a filter for that question already and they’re either not seeing it or not using it, because they’re still typing checkbox terms into textboxes.

I feel that the solution here isn’t more fancy/complex design, which also carries more risk of going wrong on different platforms and all that jazz. I know it’s a little cliché, but in design it’s often true that less is more.

A couple of people expressed concern that it might be confusing if the list of identities changed a lot from year to year, and while I think that might be true for some people, at least 71% of participants this year had never done the annual survey before, and I suspect that might be fairly typical. Of those who are familiar with the annual survey and read all the reports, I’m sure a lot of them won’t have memorised last year’s list. And I don’t think it would affect whether or not people can answer that question in the survey, which is the important thing.

Several people said that they would only support it if the multiplier could be adjusted as appropriate with new data each year, which is absolutely something that I would want to do. Great minds, great minds.

And finally, it is inevitable that if the list gets shorter more people will have to type their identities. I’m hoping that fewer people typing in words that are already on the checkbox list will make up for this.

MY DECISION

I think I’ve got to go for it and implement the proposed system.

As for whether I should implement it for 2023 or wait until 2024, before I processed the textbox identities I was still on the fence - but after finding out that the list would grow to 45 checkboxes next year under the current system... I didn’t fall off the fence, I was shoved off it very enthusiastically.

Thankfully, most people are in favour of the system (only 5% against), and about two-thirds are either in favour or very in favour of it being implemented immediately.

CONCLUSIONS

Yeah, I think I have to do it, and I think I have to do it right away! I’ll use this system for the identity checkboxes only for 2023, and if it works well I’ll consider trying it for titles and pronouns for 2024.

Also, I’m really glad I did the consultation. I feel a lot better knowing how you all feel about it in advance, and people suggested a lot of potential challenges, which gave me a chance to consider all the pros and cons before making a decision.

And, as a couple of people pointed out in the consultation, I can try it for one year, and if it doesn’t work I can switch back to the old system or try something new.

Thank you everyone for your input! And, in case you missed it, you can read the 2022 report here. You can also support this project on Patreon here, and you can sign up to be notified when the 2023 survey opens by signing up to the mailing list here.

#meta #consultation #identity #survey design #results

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