#also he might tell our family which WOULD be a safety thing

[kissmefriendly]

Now it can be stressful living with a sibling you’re not out to. But it definetly has its moments of accidental comedy.

Exhibit A: My brother, upon trying to go through my phone’s pictures, saying “Typical girl!” when I told him to shove off. The photos he would have seen were posters for drag events, screenshots of discount codes for packers, 80 pictures of various historical trans men and a lot of Napoleonic War dress uniforms

Exhibit B: “So you’re like, a lesbian, right? Do girls like cannabalism?” Apparently he was trying to get advice on how to ask someone out. This was immediately followed by “Do they like Arctic or Antarctic explorers more?” Oh, buddy. I didn’t know how to break it to him that I’m not a good measure of what The Ladies are into these days (see Exhibit A)… Also, don’t start any conversation with do you like cannabalism if you want to date that person.

Exhibit C: “My classmate asked what your pronouns are and I told her you didn’t have any.”

Exhibit D: “You know [The Theatre] you go to? I met someone who knew you and she called you a ‘he’ and a ‘they.’ So you do drag or something?”

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part twenty-one

authors note: here it is, friends! i def focused more on the family unit vs friends. i also probably broke some wrestling and wwe protocols/rules. don't care. issa story. let's use our imagination, friends.

hope it lives up to the buildup! low key have had the ending scene written for forever and am so happy to finally have it out.

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: fluff, language, angst, and suggestive themes

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

faceclaims

words: 10k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @southerngirl41 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @wanderingreigns

You had a plan.

A wonderfully thought out plan.

A wonderfully thought out plan that was quickly squashed and thrown out the window the moment you stepped foot in your bathroom and glanced at the mirror.

More a stare, but that’s understandable because the last thing you expected to do was wake up to find yourself with a baby bump.

It’s not like your stomach has ever been fully flat, but anyone who’s ever been pregnant knows that a baby bump has a different kind of look. A different kind of feel.

And all of that is wonderful, a major surprise, but it’s also something that ruins your plans entirely because you haven’t even told Callie about your pregnancy.

The plan was for you and Joe to sit Callie down and tell her about the baby, but said baby has decided to make his presence known regardless of your plan.

It’s still mind blowing to you that you’re already showing, and with as much depth to your bump,  at freshly three months. You didn’t even start showing with Callie until you were four months.

There’s no way this isn’t a boy, a boy who’s clearly going to be a big boy just like his daddy.

You try not to think too much about what that might mean delivery wise. 

The excitement and happiness easily sets in as the shock wears off, and you must spend a good ten minutes just admiring the first physical sign of life growing inside of you. 

You can’t wait to tell Joe, but it’s that though that stops you for a second.

This is a beautiful, wonderful development that would be cheapened if shared via technology. Even a FaceTime video feels not special enough. You want to do everything you can to keep these updates for him in person, so a revised plan is quickly created.

Hide it.

Going to Philadelphia where it’s already chilly makes that a little easier, but dodging too much physical interaction with Callie and your mom, who flew in the night before to fly to Philly with you and Callie, isn’t the easiest, but it’s doable.

Just like this plan.

It’s a plan that somehow, by the grace of God, carries you to travel day, to the airport and even the terminal as you touch down in the city of brotherly love.

Because of a lot of different factors, the most important regarding privacy and even safety, Joe doesn’t meet you at the airport. He instead sends a car to meet the three of you, which you’re partially grateful for as it gives you yet one less chance for him to find out about your baby bump indirectly vs you showing him yourself.

Granted, having to hide a baby bump from three of the most important people in your life is no easy task, especially with Callie who loves to be all over you. Which, normally, you don’t mind because you adore her affection, but it’s just redirecting that focus from your abdomen that’s a pain in the ass.

And you get a bit of a pass when not even a good five minutes into the Airbnb, which is nice as hell, Callie’s sweet voice is shouting with all of the excitement she can muster in her tiny little body.

“Daddy!”

Joe rounds the corner of the kitchen island and drops to his knees just in time to catch Callie who throws herself into him. They’re about what and what when it comes to excitement in seeing each other.

It brings a smile to your face. Their love for each other is probably your favorite thing in this whole world.

Joe greets your mom who is already talking about how she needs to go grocery shopping so she can cook, which you’re not entirely opposed to.

The less you have to do involving that, the better.

But, it’s when he comes toward you, you do your best to be subtle with the placement of your hand on his chest to keep that separation as he kisses you. It’s not subtle enough though, because you catch the peculiar look he shoots your way, and you’re certain if not for Callie pulling his attention to the artwork she’d created for him, he’d call you out on the spot.

But Callie always comes first, and you’ve never been more grateful.

It’s that distraction that allows you to sneak upstairs where you easily find the room Joe already has his stuff in. Emptying only some of the contents, you’re mainly only concerned with hanging up your dresses.

And once that’s done, you decide it’s now or never, walking into the living room where Joe is playing with Callie.

“Callie, I need to talk to your daddy real quick.”

As expected, she’s a pouting, protesting mess. “Mommy, nooooo.”

“It’ll be real fast baby, like ten minutes.” Bargaining with your four year old to talk to your boyfriend, who is also her dad….definitely another thing not on your 2024 bingo card.. 

However, this is a semi acceptable temporary swap, but not enough for her to not use her little tablet and literally set a timer for ten minutes.

Rolling your eyes, you wave Joe over. “Girl, you are so dramatic.” She’s clearly been hanging around Alexis too much. You didn’t even know she knew how to do that.

Joe meets you at the bottom of the steps. “Better hurry up, we on the clock.”

It takes tremendous effort not to flip him off. “Shut up.”

The bedroom door is barely closed before he’s asking with all the attitude, “now you gon tell me why you acting funny?”

It’s impossible not to roll your eyes. Nothing gets past this man. “You’re so damn dramatic just like your daughter.” It’s gotta be the light skin in him. “Sit down.” He opens his mouth, probably to say something else smart, but you remind him, “hurry up before she comes beating on the door. You know she loves her daddy time.”

That seems to do it, or at least enough for him to begrudgingly drop his bulky body down on the edge of the bed. Forever impatient, he asks again, “well?”

With another shake of your head, you decide to put this man child out of his misery. Walking over so you’re only a couple inches away from him, your hand moves under the layers of clothing as you lift them over your stomach. 

“This is why I was acting funny.” It’s impossible to hold back the smile on your face at the way his eyes light up with a perfect and expected combination of enjoyment and shock. “Good enough reason?” Naturally, his big hand reaches to feel the swell of your belly, the first physical sign of the child growing inside of you. “I knew you’d feel it if you hugged me, and I didn’t want you to find out that way.”

“You’re showing….” It’s such an obvious statement, but you know it comes from such a special and meaningful place for him. 

“I am,” you answer, watching him continue to rub your stomach, like he’s trying to make sure it’s real, that this is real. “And that’s how I know this is definitely a boy, because I didn’t start showing this much with Callie until I was four, maybe five months.” And you just hit three months officially last week. “Watch him have your big ass ears and feet.”

Joe tugs you closer, lips pressed against your stomach. It makes your heart swell. His gaze then lifts, eyes full of curiosity, “does she know?”

“No. That’s been hard too, trying to hide it from her. Because I refused to tell her without you.” It would literally kill you to deprive him of that opportunity. Even more, you’re not sure you even feel entirely comfortable doing as such. It feels so inherently wrong to do or share anything major like this with her without Joe’s help or input, preferably the former.

“I told you. I’m gonna do everything right this time….” You lean down and kiss his forehead, asking in an equally low voice. “Are you still cool with me going to the awards with you?”

He stares at you with utter confusion “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Shrugging, you explain, intentionally not stating the real reason you’re unsure. He can read between the lines. “Well, my dress is tight and there’s no way in hell you won’t be able to see my bump in it. Any of my dresses for this weekend, really.”

You’re just thankful you can still wear them even with this almost overnight curveball of your belly suddenly extending more. 

Joe’s gaze softens as he lays his hands on your hips, holding you protectively. “Y/N, I haven’t a fucking ounce of desire to try to hide this pregnancy. I don’t want to publicly announce it per se, but I don’t give a fuck who at WWE knows that we’re having another baby. I’m happy about this, over the fucking moon. Let them see you’re pregnant. I don’t care.”

You know this. Deep down, you wholeheartedly know this. But there’s always this annoying string of fear you have have of doing something to mess up or fuck with all of his accomplishments. You know how much he went through to get to where he is, and you’d never ever do anything to risk that.

“Okay.” His reassurance means a lot to you. It’s exactly what you need. With a sigh, you ask, curious and hopeful, “so, can we tell Callie about the baby now and then let my mom see I’m showing?” 

“Of course, baby, whatever you want.” 

His agreement was a given, but it’s still a massive relief. “Thank you cause wearing all these clothes got me sweating and shit, and hiding it from my mom has been really hard.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t even start that shit. One of us has to be employed.” You move for the door to call Callie when he stops you. “Yes?”

His big hands snake around to your ass, giving a gentle yet firm squeeze. “I prefer you in nothing anyway.”

Ugh. Tonight can’t come fast enough. “You’re so nasty….” You love it, though. Besides, It’s been way too long. Stealing a kiss, you walk over and open the door, calling out, “Callie! Come here, baby!”

This little girl comes speeding up the stairs and runs into the room, instantly jumping back onto Joe who makes a fake grunt sound as he falls back on the bed with her on his chest.

“Sis, if you don’t stop all that running…..” The older she gets, the more it seems like she has all this energy she doesn’t know what to do with. Ya’ll should be putting her in gymnastics instead of ballet.

“Baby………” Her giggles die down as Joe stops tickling her, sitting up and kissing her temple, eyes closing for a bit. He missed her so much. “You remember how grandma told you where babies come from?”

She nods, happily explaining as if you and Joe need a refresher on this topic. “Jesus tells the angels to put a baby in a mommy’s belly, so the baby can have a mommy and daddy.”

It’s not exactly the type of explanation you would have given, but you also don’t know if you could have done much better with such a question being asked on the spot like that. So, it’ll do for now.

“That’s right.” No need to take her little joy at that clear, concise explanation she’s clearly proud of. Even if it’s a bit…..off. “And we got the best baby in all of baby heaven.” You bop her nose and she giggles. “But Calista….the angels came to see mommy again.”

You can see that she’s partially picking up what you’re implying, but it’s Joe who does the honors of sharing the outright news. He angles her, so she’s looking at him as wel. “Your mommy and I are having another baby, Callie Bear,” Joe explains as you lift your garments again to show Callie your stomach. “You’re gonna be a big sister.”

She gasps loudly and points. “Mommy! Your tummy is bigger!”

Laughing, you explain, “that’s right. It’s gonna keep getting bigger because that means the baby is growing.”

Your eyes water as she reaches over to feel on your stomach, happily exclaiming, “I’m gonna have a baby sister!”

Laughing, you remind her, “or brother.”

She doesn’t seem to hear or care too much about that, immediately asking the two of you, “can I play with the baby?”

Joe handles that one, answering so effectively “when she or he gets a little older, yes, but not when they’re still really little because you have to be really careful with babies.”

“When is the baby coming?”

“September.”

She’s instantly annoyed, crossing her arms. “That’s a really long time!”

Both you and Joe laugh at that one as you readjust your clothes, “it’ll go by really fast. Trust me.” Leaning over, you ask her, already knowing the answer ahead of time. “You wanna help me and your daddy tell grandma about the baby?”

Your mom already knows about the pregnancy, but this will be her first time seeing your bump. Beyond that, you know she’ll play dumb for the sake of not wanting to deter Callie’s excitement. 

She freaking cheers, fists raised and everything as she hops off Joe’s lap and reaches for both of your hands. “Come onnnnn.”

Obliging Callie, each of you holding one of her hands, Joe shoots you a look, conveying all of his happiness and love.

And you reciprocate it right back.

Life is so damn good right now.

———-

The Hall of Fame awards is definitely a night to remember, starting with all of the hoopla that comes with the preparation. Kaylah comes over to Joe’s Airbnb to get ready with you, which is appreciated. Of course, Alexis comes over from her hotel as well. It ends up being a fun girls thing with you actually noticing and missing the presence of Bianca and Trinity, though you know Bianca’s flight doesn’t come in until tomorrow morning and logistically, it’s just easier for Trin to get ready at her and Jon’s Airbnb.

Still, it’s a bit of an ordeal squeezing into your gown. Out of the three dresses you purchased for the weekend’s events, the Hall of Fame number was already the most snug prior to your bump appearing almost overnight. Thankfully, it’s workable, and it does look good on you still. It’s just, obviously, tighter in the stomach area than you would have liked. 

There’s no way in hell people won’t be able to see you’re pregnant. Ain’t enough bloating in the world.

But, the minute you walk down those steps, and Joe lifts his attention from the phone in his hand, you’re reminded again how unbothered he is by the fact that most of his colleagues in the WWE will know that you two are expecting. The gentle way he cradles your bump and equally gentle kiss against your forehead as he assures you how beautiful you look washes away any and all anxiety. 

And it’s just the cherry on top when Callie gushes over how much you look like a Disney princess. There are additional compliments, but the ones from your two favorite people in this entire world easily snatch the top spot. 

There’s a bit of renewed anxiety when arriving at the actual awards, but Joe’s hand is firmly around yours, never once loosening or his grip slipping. That makes a world of difference to you. The anxiety is also depleted by the fact that the two of you, which makes a lot of sense, are seated by the twins. Being around Kaylah and Trinity is so relieving, and Trin nearly tackles some female wrestlers when she runs over to hug you, feeling on your bump. You really missed her.

Her energy is so infectious.

She even manages to convince you and Kaylah to make a couple TikToks with her in the bathroom before the ceremony begins, one of them being some apparent trend the clock app has started based upon the whole Mariah fiasco. You don’t really understand it, but Hollaback Girl is that song, so you go with it freely and play the role well.

It’s their presence, along with the twins even, that keeps you comfortable and relaxed when Joe has to leave toward the end of the night to prepare for his induction speech for Paul Heyman. And when your man’s music hits, followed by him walking out a few minutes later, you’re grateful you’re already with child, cause he most definitely would be putting a baby in you tonight. Joe is just an insanely attractive human being, but that black suit, the swagger, the confidence, it’s all a dangerous combination. 

He looks so damn good. As embarrassing as it is, it’s hard for you to pay attention to his actual speech. You’re certain it’s just as good as he looks, but your pregnancy hormones have accelerated your sex drive more than typical because all you can think about is his beautiful, long, thick dick inside of you, filling you to the brim in the way that only he can.

There’s a couple of shifts in your seat during said speech as well.

And, of course, this fine ass motherfucker notices because he notices everything. It takes your entire arsenal of self-control not to punch him when he rejoins you, casually whispering in your ear, “you need me to take care of that for you, mama?”

You hate him. 

But, you also love him.

Still hate him though.

Not enough to nearly jump his bones the minute the two of you are alone in the back of the SUV. Not even the length of your dress can get in the way of you spreading your thighs across his lap. His thick, spread legs allow you to feel the bulge of him against your center. It nearly makes you come right then and there, fully clothed and all.

“When we get back to that house….”

He chuckles, deep voice purring in your ear as his hand slips under your dress, pushing aside your panties to tease those deliciously talented fingers across your already wet folds. “What? Tell daddy what you want, baby.” You squeeze his shoulders as he dips two fingers in, and it takes everything in you not to moan out his name. “You want this pussy in my mouth? Hmm. Want daddy’s dick inside you?”

You can’t bring yourself to speak, just furious nodding against his shoulder as his fingers make a hitherto motion inside you, your pussy contracting against him.

It’s fucking disgusting how pathetic you are for this man, how all your defenses crumble and shatter just from one fucking touch.

And it’s embarrassing as hell when the driver opens the car door, and you have to quickly reorient yourself as Joe yanks his fingers out of you, leaving you just as much a mess but an incognito mess.

Yeah…..you really do hate this man.

Just not enough to nearly be ready to run up the stairs and rip his clothes off the minute you step back into the Airbnb.

But, that’s only a dream, a hope, a fantasy.

Because you two are met with the peacefully sleeping, tiny body of none other than Callie right smack dab in the middle of your and Joe’s bed.

You’ve never in your entire life been both so awestruck and devastated at the exact same time. 

For a brief, embarrassing moment, you consider asking Joe to fuck you in the bathroom. You’re just that feral for him, but logic quickly rushes back in, and you’re sickened by just the idea of having sex literally feet away from where your daughter sleeps. Locked door or not. 

It’s a bummer, for sure, but you and Joe adjust accordingly, able to actually undress and shower together without giving into carnal temptations for the sake of your little girl…..your cock blocking little girl, but still your little girl.

And truthfully, it all balances out the moment you and Joe slide in bed, keeping Callie in the middle to not disturb her, because you’re filled with so much happiness having all of your family together.

That…..that is what’s most important to you.

———-

Social Media-Verse

ROMAN REIGNS AND Y/N OFFICIAL THREAD:

OP: Ya’ll!!!! Y/N is pregnant. Some videos and photos got leaked from the WWE Hall of Fame awards, and she was there with Roman sporting a very obvious baby bump. 

User 1: I swear this shit been more entertaining than that “who did I marry” TikTok storytime. Congrats, though!

User 2: It’s 2024. Why are we still commenting on whether people are or are not pregnant? She could just be bloated. 

User 3: @/user2: ……you clearly have no kids. That’s very much a baby bump. There’s even a clip of Trinity (Naomi) running up and rubbing her stomach. Same with Roman. Sis is pregnant lol

User 4: Wow! I wonder how far along she is? Looks maybe four or five months. Congratulations to them. Their daughter is so stinking cute. I know this new baby will be too.

User 5: So was she dealing with all that bullshit while pregnant? Wow, that’s rough. No wonder she started crying on the live. That’s gotta be a lot.

User 6: I know this has been said but my God, she is gorgeous. The silk press. The melanin. The body. She really gives off 90s Gabby Union beauty. Roman got a bad one for sure.

User 7: Ya’ll seen that viral TikTok of them from last night when they were walking in? The one with that Million Dollar Baby song? Someone added a slow-mo filter, and I swear it awakened the bisexual in me. I don’t know who I want to fuck more: him or her.

User 8: @/User7: I mean both is an option…. 

User 9: Seeing the lil clips of them interacting, I’m not surprised sis is knocked up again. I know he be folding her like a pretzel. You can tell he talks her through it. 

User 10: I know I saw a few fonts were skeptical of Jadah and Y/N’s story, but we’ve seen this man speak up for and step out with Y/N more than we ever did with Jadah. It’s obvious they were telling the truth. He may have been married to Jadah, but his heart is clearly and has always been with Y/N. The actions speak for themselves. 

User 11: I still can’t believe we got to watch and witness this whole ordeal for free. 

User 12: I wonder if she’ll be at WM? 

User 13: @/user12: you know she will be. If she’s at the HoF, I can’t see her not being there, since she’s already in Philly. I just wonder if he’ll have her ringside again?

User 12: @/User13: I doubt it. Not after everything that’s gone down. There’s a lot of psycho weirdos in the wrestling community. She’ll probably be in a suite like Kaylah was last year (Jey’s wife) with the kids just for safety reasons.

User14: I think it’s wild how people have really romanticized this Brad/Angelina/Jennifer bullshit. She fucked, got pregnant by, and stole a woman’s whole husband but we’re on here talking about ‘oh, but she’s pretty’ and giving her a pass? This generation is guttersnipe filled. 

User 15: @/User14: Have you caught up on the whole story? Y/N’s ex ‘best friend’ lied about a ton of shit. Yeah, Jadah was his wife, but she herself acknowledged it was an open marriage with Roman. I think she even said she doesn’t like calling it a marriage because she never loved him and always saw them more as roommates. It’s actually a sad situation in a lot of areas, but all parties were consenting. Not necessarily orthodox, but also not anything to judge and persecute over. Two people met, fell in love, and started a family. What’s so wrong about that?

User 16: Here come the Bitter Betty’s. Ain’t ya’ll the same ones that was saying he was about to start hiding Y/N and their daughter with blankets and shit like Michael? Still waiting on that, btw. 

User 17: I went through his whole IG feed and found not one personal/non-kayfabe post EXCEPT for the one he made about the situation. He’s also now openly taken Y/N to an event, something we never saw with the ex-wife. This man is private as hell but hasn’t hesitated to make it clear he’s not hiding her for shit. I suspect they won’t be as public with their kids, but that makes all the sense. He clearly does love her, though.

User18: Trinity uploaded a TikTok of her and Y/N lip singing to Hollaback girl!!! Ya’ll she’s seen the trend! Omg I am DECEASED! Y/N knows what’s up! Hey girl! If you up here and you and Roman ever want a third person, I’m available.

User19: @/User18: Wait, I’m confused. Please clue me in.

User 20: @/User19: So basically someone dug up a photo of Y/N and Mariah when they cheered together and Mariah is giving a low key shady expression. Someone then made a video with the photo followed up with photos and clips of Y/N looking amazing. Lol. It started a trend, and they added the song Hollaback girl since Y/N was cheer captain, and allegedly, Mariah ass was always jealous because she wanted to be captain but was a ‘hollaback girl’ . Hope that makes sense. Kind of hard to explain. Just type in ‘Y/N Hollaback Girl’ and you’ll see a flood of videos. lol

———-

It’s still somewhat unclear to you just why you expected to spend a lot of time at the house with your mom and Callie. Or with Alexis, Bianca, Kaylah, etc. 

You just figured that while Joe invited you two out to see and spend time with him, the actual time spent would be minimal due to how crazy busy he must be.

Boy, were you wrong.

Joe is up early and therefore has you, your mom, and Callie up early to come with him to Lincoln Field.

The actual site of where WrestleMania will be.

Confused but also excited, you don’t hesitate to get ready, the three of you out the door in no time.

It’s pretty freaking cool seeing the field all set up and prepared for WrestleMania. There are some minor areas they’re clearly still working on, but seeing everything before the seats are filled and the lights come on is an experience. 

It’s an experience especially for Callie too who hangs onto every word Joe says to her in his  explanation of different things for her fifty million questions. She also, quite literally, hangs onto him physically, whether it’s him holding her hand as he walks and shows her around or holding her as he walks and shows her around.

Truthfully, you feel like a bit of a third wheel, invading their daddy daughter bonding, because your mom eventually goes to sit down somewhere complaining about her feet hurting or some other excuse. Joe does his best to keep you included, but Callie makes it clear she is number one on the attention list for this trip. And that’s okay. It’s more than okay, because she should and will always come first. 

If anything, it allows you to snap a bunch of photos and take videos, something you made sure to ask Joe you can do before turning into Annie Leibovitz. It’s just too great an opportunity to pass up, to not capture these moments with them, this amazing experience and blending of two of his greatest achievements in this life. 

And pregnancy emotions are at an all time high, because there’s no reason for you to get so emotional at the sight of him holding Callie, her head laid peacefully against his shoulder as he talks to people like Tripple H and Paul Heyman, his fucking coworkers and boss, like it’s nothing. And neither man, to your knowledge, says anything about it either which isn’t entirely surprising.

Joe always speaks highly of Paul, an eccentric character but genuinely nice man, something you can tell right away from Joe’s introduction of the two of you at the Hall of Fame. Same with Triple H, Hunter, as he said to call him. You’re especially grateful and happy to meet him, as Joe has expressed how Hunter taking the reins from Vince has resulted in the wrestler’s having more time off to be with family. 

Hunter has made it possible for Joe to be able to come and see you and Callie as much as he has over the months.

That’s going to make a huge, beneficial difference in the next couple of months.

For obvious reasons.

Meanwhile, while Y/N spends time with her little family, taking in this beautiful moment. Y/N’s mom sits down. She sits and watches along with Kaylah and Bianca (who’d joined the group about an hour ago) the adorable interaction of her daughter’s growing little family.

The older woman, studying her daughter especially, comments in a leading manner, like she’s trying to hint at something without outright saying it, “that’s a defined baby bump to only be three months….”

Kaylah turns to Y/N’s mom, agreeing, “I know, that’s what I was thinking too, but she’s definitely three months. She said the OB/GYN confirmed her conception date at the appointment when she found out.”

“She looks four months. Maybe even five….” Y/N’s mom looks over at Bianca and Kaylah. “We’re all mothers, have experienced pregnancy….”

“Yes ma’am.” Bianca and Kaylah confirm as the older woman sighs, tapping her painted nails against the side of her face.

“You know what I’m thinking?”

And just like that, they do. Bianca gasps as Kaylah asks in a lowered voice, “you don’t think she—”

“We can’t rule it out. Look at her.” Y/N’s mom gestures across the way, quickly asking for clarification purposes. “Don’t they run on Joseph’s side of the family?”

Kaylah nods, still trying to wrap her head around the insinuation alone. “Yeah, but I could have sworn I read years ago it comes more from the mother’s side. Do ya’ll have—”

The oldest of the three women shakes her head, killing at least that chance. “Not that I’m aware of.”

Bianca makes a face, prompting Y/N’s mom to ask, “what?”

She’s clearly hesitant but eventually shares, “we have a couple on my dad’s side.”

At that, Kaylah gasps again, slapping her hand over her mouth. “We should tell her.”

“No, no, no. We don’t want to get her all worked up.” Y/N’s mom quickly shoots down that idea, knowing her daughter well enough to know that wouldn’t turn out well. “We could be wrong—unlikely—but still. She told me they’ll hear the heartbeat at her appointment on Monday. We’ll find out then.”

Bianca blows out a breath. Talk about a plot twist. “Lord, if we’re right….she gon’ kill that man.”

No one disagrees with her statement either.

———-

WrestleMania Day one arrives, and to the surprise of literally no one, Joe and Josh arrange for you all to be in a suite that’s just as nice, if not nicer, than the one at the Super Bowl. 

It’s spacious enough for the lot of you which includes yourself, your mom, Callie, Alexis, Bianca and her fam as well as Kaylah and the kids. It’s actually really nice to have such a commodius area so that the girls can all distract themselves with each other and devices when the actual match starts. The older kids, however, are fully invested in watching Wrestling’s biggest night: part one. 

Once again, Joe surprises you by how present and involved he is with you and Callie. She spends a portion of the beginning of the night with him, Joe once again explaining some of the logistics in such a simple and easy for her to understand manner.

He’s so good with her, so patient, so adept at meeting her on her level.

And Callie, of course, loves every second of it, latches onto every word that leaves his mouth. Again, you’re snapping photos of the interactions, a trip to Walgreens to get them printed is one of the first things on your to do list post-Disney.

You’re especially over the moon when you capture the moment Callie gives Joe a special drawing she created for him depicting him standing in the middle of the ring, raising his belt with WrestleMania and ‘Acknowledge Me’ written at the top of the page.

She might or might not have asked for your help with the spelling.

He’s so touched by this, and Callie is ecstatic when he tapes it on the wall of his locker room. It’s also the cutest fucking thing how she yells out “good luck, daddy!” as security escorts the two of you back to the suite. 

You may have once been his biggest fan, but she’s clearly snatched that title from you with all the quickness.

But while you were prepared to get comfortable in the suite, catching up on girl talk with the ladies once Callie, Taylor, and Ellie got situated with their tablets, that plan is quickly down the drain when security is back and telling you that Joe has asked for you to join him.

That confuses the shit out of you, because he should be getting ready. Why is he asking for you?

And you tell him as such the minute you’re face to face again.

Arms crossed, you force yourself ignore how fucking good he looks and the urge you have to lick a perfect trail down his defined six pack. “Not sure if you’re aware of this, but you’re on the clock, babe. Tick Tock.” He chuckles and walks over, hand to your stomach. “Seriously, Joe, why am I here?”

He answers it so simply, like it should be obvious. “I want you here, so you’re here.”

Looking around, it’s hard not to notice the crew, the cameras, and everything else that makes you feel even more out of place. “Baby, am I allowed to be back here?”

He ignores that question, light brown eyes trailing over you from head to toe. “Damn, you look good.”

He’s not wrong. 

Makeup on point. Silk press pressing to the gods. Your outfit is just the icing on an already delicious cake. The dress is even more flattering than your gown from the Hall of Fame, baby bump and all.  And even though it’s cold as shit outside, the building is relatively well-insulated and beyond that, looking your best on such a big night for the man you love takes precedence over comfort and temperature.

“I’m not gonna distract you?” And then he flexes, a subconscious act that has you licking your lips. “Or maybe you’ll distract me….”

Joe smiles and takes your hand. “Come on.” He begins to lead you out of the room, the camera crew following closely, and for a minute, you panic because it’s obvious he’s eased back into his Roman role. Talking his shit as he walks down a hall that’s far from barren, literal fucking Philladelhia Eagles cheering for him while he saunters with all the confidence in the world, never once releasing your hand.

It’s such a strange yet overwhelmingly good feeling for him to be unabashed about you and his love for you. On one of the biggest nights of his career, amidst all the drama and chaos, he has you, front and center, proudly right by his side.

That’s why you also tap back into your “It Girl” era, easily matching his aura and energy because while he may look good as hell in all areas, so do you. 

You’re very much equally yoked.

Joe moves ya’ll into a gym area that’s laid out perfectly with weights and equipment for him to pump before the match. 

The crew departs for a little while, offering a reason that sounds legitimate enough, but you’re also not that interested or concerned. You’re just happy to have some alone time with Joe.

Leaning back against a stack of mats, you ask him as he starts lifting. “I ever tell you the story about the time Callie called herself running away from home?” The horrified look on Joe’s face is hilarious, so you quickly assure, “relax, it’s not what you’re thinking.”

“You just told me our four year old ran away from home…..” When he says it like that, it does sound kind of bad. “What the hell did you do to my little girl?”

Rolling your eyes, you jump right into the explanation, unsure about just how much time you have before the match kicks off. “She's always been a really sweet, easy kid, with the exception of cleaning up after herself. That’s why I always tell you to make her clean because I had a hard time drilling that in her head.” To his credit, he has gotten better with it. “So this was a couple of months before you came back in the picture. I’d been telling her if she didn’t start cleaning up her toys, I was gonna limit her Disney time.”

He’s visibly irritated, switching to the barbell. “That’s foul, Y/N. You know how much my baby loves Disney.”

“That’s exactly why I had to use it. It has to be something she cares about. Anyway, it finally reached a point where I had enough, and told her no Disney for three days. It wasn’t even a week.”

Just recalling the experience brings a humored smile to your face. “Her lil dramatic ass threw a fit and said she was running away to live with grandma. Now, my mom was already coming over to pick her up for the weekend, so I wasn’t too worried. I told her to do what she had to do.” Plus, as a literal four year old, it’s not as if she would ever have the privacy and chance to run away for real.

“So she took a couple things, stuffed them in her lil yellow suitcase, and marched her cute self down the steps to where my mom was waiting for her in the car, cause I had called her to let her know what was happening when sis was throwing her lil tantrum.”

“You upset her. How’d you expect her to react?” You decide to let that lil comment pass. It’s only a matter of time before he finally gets to experience Callie throwing a fit for himself. Then, he’ll get it. 

“I go down the steps to bring my mom Callie’s booster seat, and before she can even get it buckled in, my mom tells Callie that before they can play, she needs help cleaning up the house.” You start laughing, shaking your head. “And when I tell you that lil’ girl did such a 180. All of a sudden, she’s latched onto my leg, telling me she’s sorry, she wants to stay with me, she’ll clean anything I tell her, the works. It was hilarious.”

He’s also laughing, hands on his hips in between a set. “She’s definitely strong willed. She gets it from you.”

“She gets it from us,” you correct, intentionally emphasizing the last word. Calista is the perfect combination of the both of you, the product of your love and the resilience of said love. “Come on.” You straighten up and motion to the weights. “I’ll count you off.”

His brow lifts curiously, “coming out of retirement for me?”

You suck your teeth, redirecting him. “Shut up and get to lifting, Roman.”

The crew returns not too much longer after you start helping him track sets and reps, but it doesn’t stop the conversation. You can’t tell if him taking to and with you is something to maybe curb nerves or if he just genuinely wants to talk to you. Neither makes a difference because you enjoy this time together, for a variety of reasons. From being able to see and be around this monolithic of a man shirtless, sexy as hell, shared tattoo of your daughters name viewable for all to see, on both of you, to just having ‘one on one’ time to interact as two people in love. 

It’s just really fucking nice. 

And when it’s just about time for him to go out, he’s gone for a couple of minutes to pray and wet his hair and body before returning looking somehow even sexier. 

It should be a goddamn sin to be that fine. 

Emotion fills you up as you’re allowed the privilege of placing the ula fala around his neck, something prompted and encouraged by Paul. It’s such a special moment that you don’t take lightly. 

“Hey.” You reach for his beard, forcing his gaze on you as you feed last minute encouragement into him. “You got this, alright? Stay in the moment. Keep your focus. Do what you do best. Go out there and kill it.”

He nods, his hand gently rubbing your bump, lips lingering against your forehead as he murmurs, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He gives you one last look and moves to walk out on the stage, Paul following right behind him. 

Using the monitors in the Gorilla position, you watch with all the pride in your body as he walks out, so powerful and authoritative. It’s so painfully clear how in his element he is.

He really was made for this shit. 

Once he’s in the ring, you have security escort you back to the suite, Callie nearly tackling you with a plethora of questions regarding if you saw “daddy’s walk” and if you “acknowledged him.”

She adores that man so much, and it makes your heart swell. 

There’s a bit of disappointment on her end at not being allowed to watch the match, but it’s eased by playing with her cousins. 

And together, you and the other ladies are able to enjoy the match, both enjoyable yet stressful for you in particular. You’re not sure if you’ve ever told Joe that there’s always a bit of anxiety on your end when he’s competing. 

It pisses you off to no end when people try to say wrestling is all “fake.” There’s a lot of things that’s scripted, but those fucking hits and falls are real as hell. Ain’t shit fake about that. And Joe is so good at selling shit, it’s sometimes hard not to freak out.

Especially this match, as it's physical as hell, which is understandable given the contenders.

But holy hell, do they all put on a show. 

As expected, Joe and Dwayne win, meaning night two will be Bloodline Rules with Joe officially securing his latest accomplishment with having the most Main Events at WrestleMania of all time. 

You’re so proud of him. 

And Callie, as always, is through the moon when she finds out her daddy came out with the win. She’s speeding down the hall when Dwayne and Joe walk backstage, Joe easily handing Paul his belt to catch Callie in a hug. 

You let them have their moment, laughing as Callie calls out to Dwayne, “congratulations, cousin Maui!” It makes everyone in the hearing vicinity laugh, really.

Joe walks over, still holding Callie with one arm and leans down to kiss you. Naturally, you reach up and push some of his hair back. God, you love when it gets like this, wild and untamed. It reminds you of when you two—“how are you feeling?” 

He gives a default answer that most men provide cause they’re stubborn as hell. “I’m good.”

“Liar. I saw that face you made getting out the ring.” This man’s back gotta be killing him.

He chuckles and squeezes your hip. “I’m good, baby.”

Having to just take his word for it, you two spend a couple more minutes with him before Joe is off to get cleaned up for a press conference.

He says it won’t take long, but that you can take Callie back to the Airbnb since it’s so late if you want. That’s nice in theory, but you know Callie would like to wait for him, would probably throw a fit if she has to leave without her daddy. So, you opt to just wait for him in the SUV as everyone else has already started leaving, your mom included, who is already on her way back to the house. 

These people really can’t hang.

Granted, you’re fighting back sleep too, adrenaline finally dying down. 

So maybe you can’t hang either.

You’re walking with Callie, flanked by the security team who will escort you to the SUV when Callie turns her head, listening for something, clearly.

This child must have exceptional hearing, or maybe Joe’s naturally deep, baritone voice has traveling abilities that exceed what is normal. Because she certainly hears him, your own hearing only latching onto him saying something about “use your feet.”

And before you can stop her, Callie is on the move.

“Callie!”

“Daddy!” is all you hear before you’re maneuvering through the two guards who just allow her to dash away in the direction of Joe's voice. You can only move so fast, your slightly swollen feet starting to feel the pain from these damn high heels.

So by the time you reach her, calling her name in an almost urgent whisper, it's already too late.

She’s walking onto the mini stage where Joe is conducting his press conference. Turning his head to the side where she entered, his eyes immediately land on Callie, and it amazes you how easily he switches from Roman to Joe.

A small smile is on his handsome face as he moves back in his chair a bit and opens his arms to her. Naturally, she climbs into his lap, hugging him, head on his shoulder. 

There’s a chorus of awes from the reporters, and you watch as Joe gently rubs her back and kisses her temple. He whispers something in her ear, and she lifts her head to look at him. They share some kind of unspoken exchange as he helps her back onto the ground where she quickly makes her way back over to you.

Instantly, you grab her hand. “Calista, baby, you cannot run off like that.” It’s hard to be too stern with her when she, technically, just went to see her dad.

And she says as such, explaining with all of the innocence, “I wanted to see daddy.” 

A quick glance up and you see Joe shoot you a wink before he’s back in his Roman headspace, making a smartass comment. 

You chuckle. 

She just wanted to see her daddy.

———-

You’re in the middle of a very good dream that’s interrupted prematurely by tugging on your shirt that you’re all too familiar with. Blinking eyes are met with the sleepy and almost sad face of an awake Calista.

Instantly, you’re forcing yourself to lean up as much as you can with Joe’s big arm securely wrapped around you, his hand on your stomach. He’s snoring lightly, enjoying well deserved sleep after a rough night of brutal physicality.  “What’s wrong, baby?”

“I can’t sleep….”

And right from that, you know it’s because she has something on her mind. She gets that from you.

“Come here, baby girl.” You pat the empty space on the bed next to you and wait for her to crawl on the mattress where you lay the covers over her to help keep her warm. “What ya thinking about?”

She’s on her back, playing with her fingers as you brush your thumb over her forehead. “Tomorrow is our last day with daddy……” It’s what you were guessing but definitely not what you wanted to hear.

“You’re sad cause you don’t wanna leave, huh?” She says nothing but nods slowly. A heavy sigh leaves you as you juggle your options here. You want so badly for the element of surprise to be kept and maintained, as is Joe’s preference. But, it’s hard to stick with that when your little girl is lying here sad, unable to sleep because she thinks she’s not gonna see her dad again for X amount of time. You try to think of how Joe would want you to respond.

Quickly, you realize he’d want you to do whatever you need to do to take away her sadness.

“Can you keep a secret? You can’t tell anyone. It’s just between you and me, okay?” She’s visibly confused but again nods, acknowledging understanding. “Daddy wanted to surprise you, but he’s flying home with us tomorrow night, and he’s gonna spend the whole week off with us.” 

Her eyes light up, that frown quickly morphing into a smile. “Really!”

You laugh, shushing her even though Joe could sleep through WW3. Not to mention how beat he must be from the match. “Yes, but you gotta pretend like you don’t know when he tells you, okay?”

She nods and exclaims happily, “a whole week. That’s a long time!”

Her saying that suddenly pulls out some sadness from you. Joe has never even been able to spend a full week with his daughter. It’s definitely a bitter thing that you don’t allow yourself to dwell on too much.

“Yes ma’am.” You bring your hand to her bonnet, asking in a soft voice, “does that make you feel less sad?” She nods just as quietly, and you lean over to kiss her forehead. “Good.” 

As expected, she asks gently, “can I sleep with you guys?”

It’s an easy answer. “Of course, baby.” 

She turns her body toward and into you, eyes closing minutes later, followed by subsequent, peaceful sleeping. You follow shortly after, a new, different kind of dream. 

Not as inappropriate. 

Just as happy.

———-

Night Two of WrestleMania rolls around, and immediately, something is different.

Something feels…..off.  It’s very similar to night one in a lot of ways, primarily the schedule and flow of things, along with Joe interacting a lot with you and Callie, as much as he can, at least.

But, he seems off. Like there’s something on his mind that he refuses to admit and/or share.

Everything is almost identical to the first night, essentially the same schedule with you, Joe, and Callie spending time together before he sends you back to the suite with Callie to get her set up with her cousins.

Then he calls back for you about 20 to 30 minutes before the start of the match, and that’s when you really feel it.

He’s in his head a bit, and you can tell by the fact he isn’t as talkative, not distant, just….off.

Waiting until he finishes his set, you walk over and take his hand. “Joe, are you okay?”

There’s an instant dismissal. “I’m fine.” He asks, curious. “Why?”

Shrugging, you’re not sure how to explain it and express as such. “I don’t know…..something just feels off. You seem almost somber.”

“I’m fine, I promise, okay?” He moves his hand to the back of your neck, thumb brushing over your bottom lip. His eyes take you in. “I really like this dress.”

Small smile on your face, it’s not enough to distract you from your concern, but it’s appreciated. You definitely saved the best dress for the final night. “It’d look even better on the floor.”

He makes a face, and you giggle. “You’re such a fucking tease.”

“You’ve always known this about me,” you point out, sassily but also truthfully. Your freakiness, and his as well, was what naturally connected you two. Everything else that came after seems ordained at this point, like it was always meant to be. “Now stop trying to change the subject.”

He sighs loudly, offering a crumb. “I’m a bit tired, but I’m fine.”

“I know you’re exhausted, baby.” Frowning, you lift your hand to his cheek, beard prickly against your palm. “I really wish you would just take this week to rest. We can do Disney next month. I love Disney, Callie does too, but we love you more and care about your wellbeing more than the fucking mouse.” 

It’s true. Nothing matters more to you than the wellbeing of all your family members, and especially Joe with how taxing his job already is. 

He shakes his head, moving his other hand to your stomach. “I’ve waited too long already. I’m not waiting anymore, Y/N.”

His words confuse you, truly, because Disney only came up a couple months ago. What’s another month? “Joe—”

“Do you trust me?”

There’s a delay, not because you have to think about it, but because you know he’s about to shut this conversation down. 

Voice soft but sure, you answer, “of course, I trust you, Joe.”

His gaze and expression soften as he affirms, “then trust I know what I’m doing, and I’m doing what I want to do.”

This sucks. Knowing there’s something he’s not telling you but that it’s clearly for good reasons. Still, being in the dark doesn’t rub you the right way. But, the last thing you want to do is have him in his head more than he already is, so you agree to drop it..

“Okay.” It’s not okay, but it’ll have to be okay for now. 

It’s the same as before, seeing him out, the I love you’s between the two of you seeming a bit more meaningful, a lot heavier. Even watching his spectacular and majestic entrance, the camera panning on his face as he lifts his belt, you can’t shake that feeling that something doesn’t feel right.

———-

One

Two

Three

It doesn’t register. Not immediately, anyway. You know Joe, err, Roman. He’s adept at missing the pin by a margin of a millisecond, and you expect this to be no different, except it is.

Because Cody pins him.

He actually fucking pins him.

So many thoughts are racing through your head. The entire match had you on the edge of your seat, your mom, Bianca, and even Alexis having to remind you several times that Joe knows what he’s doing and everything will turn out fine. 

It doesn’t help when Callie falls asleep, because then you can be a bit more expressive and open about your anxiety. 

And then he’s fucking pinned. 

Racing thoughts easily morph into heightened anxiety when the major thought focuses and clears up in your mind, obvious as fucking day.

Something is wrong.

You know enough about wrestling through your own fan interest and conversations with Joe that most matches are predetermined. However, there are times when the outcome is changed at the last minute, mostly due to unexpected serious injury.

And that’s what your mind lands on: Joe is injured. Enough to where they had to change the outcome of the match.

And that causes panic to rise throughout your whole body.

Moving carefully as Callie is sleeping peacefully on your lap, you ask your mom to sit with her because you need to go to Joe. 

You need to see him. 

The walk from the suite to the locker room area takes much longer than you’d like it to and only gives your anxiety time to multiply, not to mention the exacerbation by the boisterous sound of the crowd jamming to Cody’s theme song as they celebrate his win.

A win that should have never happened. 

You’re so caught up in your head that you don’t even pay much attention to the fact Joe is in the middle of hugging his cousin when security leads you into his space.

His cousin, Dwayne freaking Johnson aka The Rock. Any other time, you’d be a bit starstruck, because kin to your man and daughter or not, he’s still a celebrity.

But, this isn’t the time for that. 

As soon as they break apart, you manage to give Dwayne a little nod but immediately go back to hyperfocusing on Joe.

“What’s wrong?” Your hands naturally reach out to feel his shoulders, moving to his forearm. “Is it your wrist?” A thought crosses your mind, remembering a particularly looking nasty body slam into the table. “It’s your back, isn’t it?”

His eyes focus on you curiously as he answers, “I’m fine, Y/N.”

“Bullshit.” You’re not in the mood for his tendency to downplay injuries, not when this one just cost him so much. “You’re hurt. Why else would they change the match outcome?”

As soon as those words leave your mouth, it seems like something dawns on him. He motions to the trainers and others in the room to leave you two alone, a stupid decision considering he clearly needs to be checked out. 

When the locker room clears, he speaks again, “Y/N, I’m not hurt, and they didn’t change the match outcome.” His eyes focus on you. “I asked Hunter to lose this match.”

A pause followed by a gasp. “Oh my god, you must have a concussion. Shit, you really need to be checked out.” You turn away for the door. “I’ll get the trainers—”

He calls your name, snatching your hand and pulling you back to him. “I’m not concussed. I know exactly what I’m saying. I met with Hunter and asked to be relieved of the title.”

There goes the racing thoughts that have now shifted from ‘Joe must be seriously hurt’ to ‘Joe must be significantly hurt.’ Because you can’t process what he's, objectively, explaining to you. 

There’s no way he would ever…..

And then your mind wanders to a possibility. 

“Does this have anything to do with the Mariah situation?” As much as you limited your media consumption during that nightmare, you still saw stuff, read how countless wrestling fans were demanding Joe be stripped of his title, saying that he was an “embarrassment” to the company and didn’t deserve to be the face of WWE. Eyes watering for reasons beyond your comprehension, your chest tightens, asking, “was it—was it because of me and—”

Immediately, he’s reaching for you, assuring, “baby, no, of course not.” He’s wiping at your tears. “I asked for this.”

Him repeating himself confuses you more, and makes you wonder if there was a hit to his head that you missed at some point. “Why–why do you keep saying that?” It’s not making any sense from the first time he said it to now. “Joe, you have to either be concussed or, God forbid, something worse because you clearly don’t know what you’re saying to me.” Shaking your head, you lay it out for him, hoping that maybe it’ll trigger something. “You’re seriously telling me that you asked to lose your title, a title you’ve held for almost four years, a title that’s allowed you to break Hulk Hogan, thee Hulk Hogan’s record, among many, in the main event at Wrestlemania.” Even saying it aloud is ludicrous, forcing out a small laugh at how ridiculous it sounds. 

He can’t be for real. 

But, then he says it again, just as clear as day. “Yes.”

And suddenly, you’re not as nervous or scared. 

You’re pissed the fuck off.

Breaking away from him, you shake your head, doing your best to maintain your composure for the sake of where you are as well as the child growing inside you.

“You worked your ass off to get to where you are now, and you just walk away from it all for what?” It’s that lethal combination of anger and confusion, anger that he would do this to himself when he deserves the world and more. Confusion as to whatever logic he used to make this questionable decision. “What would possess you to—�� And it’s then that it slowly dawns on you, that the light goes off. “Oh my god, Joe, you didn’t…..” You can only swallow, emotion washing away the anger. “Please tell me you didn’t.”

But, he tells you the complete opposite. “I’m on indefinite leave starting tomorrow.”

And suddenly everything makes sense. All the pieces start coming together. Trinity and Kaylah being weird and quickly backtracking when Trinity suggested you and Callie go on the road with Joe this summer. 

The way all of them seemed to never understand your frustration with Joe for not wanting to start planning for the birth of your baby.

Why he’s been so dodgy about conversations regarding having help for this baby when he can’t be there. 

They had to have known, known this was his plan, known that this is what he was going to do.

At a loss of words, you manage a question, one of many circling in your head. “Did you do it because of the baby?” 

He shakes his head, pushing back your hair. “Y/N, I asked to lose the title as soon as I got back after meeting Callie for the first time.”

And the inability to process continues because it takes a good minute for you to take in what he just said. In a state of semi shock, mouth slightly ajar, you ask in an almost whispered tone, “what?” 

Months…..that was months ago. And beyond that, the first damn time he met his daughter, a daughter he just found out about, he sacrificed the one thing he’d worked his whole life for. 

This….this is unreal.

Swallowing with a level of emotion you know is only reserved for you, he further explains, “I knew the moment I met her that I wasn’t about to miss any more of her life that I already had.”

“Joe….” Emotion is a bitch, quickly climbing up and over the wall before you can catch it. Your eyes watering all over again.. “I never would have asked you to do this—-I didn’t want—”

He brings his hand to the back of your neck, quietly murmuring, “I know you wouldn’t have, but this was my decision, Y/N. This is what I wanted.” He repeats those now haunting words from earlier. “Do you know how many days I had off last year?” He doesn’t wait for you to answer. “35. 35 days out of the whole year. I can’t be a father to her or this baby a month out of the whole damn year. It’s not fair to her, to the baby, to you, or even me.” Determination fills his voice, as he shakes his head. “I want to be there to take her to school and help her with her homework and watch whatever random Disney movie she has on her mind for the day.” You laugh, not even bothering to stop the tears at this point. They’re inevitable. “And I want to be with you. We need time to focus on us. On this baby. Our family.” He moves his hand protectively to your stomach. “I’m not retiring. I’ll come back when the time is right, and I’ll still have creative input with the Bloodline while I’m away.”

Sniffling, you ask him what you already know to be true. “That’s why you would shut down my conversations about when the baby gets here, isn’t it?” Your voice cracks mid-sentence. “Because…because you knew you would be here for us.”

His gaze is so soft, so loving, so vulnerable. “You supported me when I needed it, now it’s my turn.” He nods, looking down at your conjoined hands on your belly. “I’m not missing anything else.”

And that’s what really does it for you. You throw your body against his, arms around his neck, while his easily go around you, holding you close to him. 

“Thank you.” You’re such an emotional mess, largely due to pregnancy hormones but also because this is the most unexpected yet most wonderful thing that could have happened tonight. He’ll never understand what this means to you. He gave up his dream for you, for Callie, for this baby, for your family. How does one even have a word to describe just what that means? “Thank you so much.”

He holds you a little longer, murmuring how much he loves you. Joe then guides you on the next steps. “Let me finish up, so we can get out of here, okay?”

It feels almost silly to ask, but a part of you wants to hear him say it, needs to hear him say it. “We’re going home?”

He shakes his head, a warm smile on his handsome face. You’ve never felt happier than in this very moment. 

“We’re going home, baby…”

[eyesfullofsttars]

☆ obsessed with the idea of ellie & abby being mothers

synopsis: a few headcanons of abigail and ellie being mothers, from the way they raise the baby to the smallest details!!!

notes: hiii!!! i've just been thinking about these two being mothers for the past few days and this came up—sorry if it's simple or too dumb. (don't take it too seriously pls)

I'm still not sure whether they would prefer having a girl or a boy. It seems it wouldn't matter much to them, as they would raise the baby the same way regardless. However, these two are mothers of a boy!!!

They speak to their baby as though he were a responsible adult who understands everything perfectly and frown when someone uses a high-pitched voice or baby talk.

Abby is the one who always gets up in the middle of the night if the baby cries. She automatically wakes up and goes to see what's wrong with her son.

Meanwhile, Ellie doesn't wake up at night, but she reads a dinosaur book to the baby before bed, tucks him in, and gives him a goodnight kiss on the forehead.

Ellie is enthusiastic about her baby, playing energetically and carefree, tickling him, putting him on her shoulders, and playing with his hands. She's proud of her baby and believes he's the best.

Abby is not so calm, paying attention to her son's safety. She comes from a family of doctors —she's a doctor herself— and watches Ellie carefully whenever she holds the baby. Abby feels the need to keep her son close at all times, either in her strong arms or on her lap, playfully touching his nose or gently stroking his hair.

Ellie can spend hours watching Abby take a nap with their baby. She sees Abby sitting on the couch with the baby on her lap, cuddled against her chest and holding her shirt tightly with his small hand, afraid of losing contact. They breathe softly, calmly together, which Ellie finds adorable — making her feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

At first, Abby worried about seeing Ellie handle the baby so lightly, but she has become accustomed to Ellie's relaxed attitude. Abby watches carefully to avoid accidents, but one of her favorite things is listening to her baby and Els laugh together at something silly Ellie does, causing Abby to laugh too.

Abby "I want to name our son after a writer" Anderson versus Ellie "Let's name our son after a constellation" Williams — Els won!

Ellie helps her son learn to speak by playing her guitar, singing songs about letters, animals, and the names of family and friends.

Abby cheers and celebrates every time she sees the baby trying to stand, keeping his balance by holding onto the couch. She's proud of her little prodigy and also believes her baby is the best.

Ellie lets her son trace the lines of her tattoo and even color the spaces with markers. She accepts without complaint, extending her arm for her child to do his art.

Abby lets her son comb her hair. She loosens her blonde hair and trusts her baby's hands as he tries to comb her long hair, clumsily attempting a braid but failing.

Ellie can't help but swear in front of the baby, as she hasn't managed to change her language yet. She often ends up letting out a curse word, especially when the baby does something that excites her.

She might say something like, “Fuck yeah, you're so intelligent, kiddo!” Or, whenever the baby cries for no reason, Ellie will get completely flustered and not know what to do, like, “What the hell do you want from me, dude? I can't help you if you don't tell me!”

On the other hand, Abby doesn't see the appeal in swearing in front of their son. So, whenever a curse word slips out of Ellie's mouth, Abby quickly exclaims; “Language, Williams!”

No matter where she is in the house, she can always hear Ellie swearing, which ends with Ellie responding with something like, “Fuck, sorry, babe. Shit, right, sorry, buddy. It just comes out like verbal vomit; I can't control it.”

Every time a rock song plays, Ellie can't help but do headbanging, and her son joins her in the fun. Both end up in the kitchen, energetically moving their heads to the music and dancing around.

For every special occasion, such as Valentine's Day, birthdays, or even Easter, Abby doesn't hesitate to buy flowers for Ellie and her son.

Both understand their child perfectly. The child might babble something unintelligible, but they simply nod, comprehending every word.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Bringing up some angst because I crave violence:

How would the SDV and SVE marriagables react to their kid/kids having the gift of magic, but then they learn that their children might get taken away by the ministry of magic to study under a mage in a different town?

Hello 👋 Glad to see you here again ☺️ I hope you don't mind if I only do SDV and SVE bachelors here 💕

SDV and SVE bachelors react to the news that the Ministry of Magic may take baby away from them and Farmer:

"Sam, our kid has magic." "That's awesome!" "Also, our kid can be taken away by wizards from the Ministry of Magic without our permission, to be put in the hands of a stranger for magic training..." ".... Now that's not awesome at all." Sam is completely confused and doesn't know what to do. Naturally, he doesn't want to give his own child to just anyone and to an unknown place. So he will consult with the Farmer on what to do. His first suggestion will be to make a lot of traps in house for uninvited guests, as in the "Home Alone" film. If their arrival is not avoided, the musician will not give up the baby without a fight!

"If they think they can just walk into our house and take our kids, they're very fucking wrong," Shane will not put up with the idea of some strangers coming in and dictating terms to him and his family. He will be willing to physically attack them in order to protect the people he holds dear, and will also become a little paranoid about the safety of Farmer and the little ones. Not under his watch, no way.

"What?! It's... That's... How dare they?! What right do some, pardon my profanity, imbecile have to come into our house and take our child?! Outrageous! Oh, I'm going to go over there and tell them what I think of them..... Well, where are they exactly?" Elliott may go so far as to go to Rasmodius' tower and ask him to connect him with this obscure Ministry so that the writer can vent his tirade on these upstarts. Alas, it is unlikely that a verbal altercation and bare fists will somehow cope with powerful magic, but Elliott is ready to fight to the last for his and Farmer's child.

Harvey could hardly keep calm, but Farmer sees the rage boiling inside their spouse, which is quite justified, for they too do not want to obey the stupid rules of the Ministry of Magic. Instead of aggression and emotion, the local doctor will use cold logic. In fact, the Ministry's actions can be seen as kidnapping, a violation of human rights. Farmer already famous person outside the Stardew Valley, and Harvey is not the last doctor, so if the case is made public, non-magical people will become a big problem for the magical organisation.

The news of the magical talent and the Ministry made Sebastian very worried. It's one thing to simply be offered a choice and quite another to be almost forcibly taken away from your family. Sebby wouldn't let that happen. Even though he doesn't know much about adventurers and the concept of magic yet, he believes that he and Farmer together can handle the trouble and protect their child from toxic people from some stupid Ministry.

Alex has a similar situation with Shane, except the athlete is now even more fixated on the child's safety. He knows Farmer will always be able to protect themself, but what about their baby? He's going to start being with his baby and Farmer almost 24/7. Farmer will have to calm down the worried young dad and together solve the problem, for Alex, who is guarding the crib for the fourth night without a proper sleep, already realizes himself how this stress is taking a heavy toll on his health.

Magnus knows how the system works in the magical world and realizes that sometimes the rules of the Ministry of Magic sometimes are... questionable, but he doesn't worry about this much. He is an official wizard and it makes no sense to give another wizard their gifted baby. If someone at the top does want to give the baby to another person, Magnus has enough connections (and Camilla as a bargaining chip), to give the Ministry hell on earth. But this is as a last resort, he hopes the Ministry will make the right choice.

Yoba... Victor had once read about the Ministry of Magic and the rather strange rules and code of wizards/witches/mages, but taking a child away from their family? That's not right. The poor man is utterly confused and doesn't know who to turn to for advice. All he can do is hope they can enlighten the Ministry members when they come to their farm. Or protect the child. He may not be as brave as his love, but a parent, when they feel threatened towards their child, is capable of many things in a rage.

"Don't worry, my love. No one will take our little one because the mage who will train them is standing right in front of you." Lance himself was given to his Dragonmaster for training, but it was his meaningful choice at the time, and his parents were okay with it too. And Lance realises that it didn't go as smoothly for other families. However, he, like Magnus, is officially a mage on par with his position as an adventurer, so it doesn't make sense to give the child to someone else. Lance will not give the baby to anyone, he will defend with words (maybe even sword and magic) his spouse and his child if need be.

[7ndipity]

Latibule

Namjoon x Reader

Summary: After someone close to you breaks your trust yet again, you go to your safe place, Joon.

Warnings: angst, swearing, implied toxic relationship/home life, not proofread

A/N: I wrote this like a month ago when I needed to vent, but I thought some of y'all might appreciate it, so I'll share it here. I almost feel like it could be the start of a series, but idk, lmk what you think?(Also, I tried to leave the 'they' in question vague, so it could be an ex, family, friend or whatever you prefer.)

Masterlist

Requests are open

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Joon being wide awake at three in the morning was far from out of the ordinary, he'd often said that he did some of his best work at night, having passed more than his fair share of sleepless nights writing.

You however, were usually long dead to the world at this hour, which is why when his phone screen lit up with your name, he was quick to answer.

"Hey y/n."

"Joon?" The shake in your voice instantly put made him sit up straighter, concerned.

"What happened?"

"Can... can I come over?" You asked.

"Of course." He said, without hesitation. "Are you okay? Do you need me to get you?"

"I'm fine." You said, but he knew that wasn't fully true, it was clear you'd been crying. "I just don't want to stay here tonight."

"Come over. Do you want me to set up our usuals?" He asked.

"Sure." You responded.

Over the course of your friendship, you two had developed a near ritual of whenever one of you was upset, you'd go over to the other's place to talk, usually over some sort of drinks.

You couldn't count how many nights you'd spent camped out on each other's sofas, or sometimes beds, ranting about everything from shitty ex's, family or work problems, or even just that one neighbor who never waved back at you. It didn't necessarily fix any of the issues, but it was comforting nonetheless to have someone who would lend a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on.

He could tell whatever happened must have been bad. Normally, when you called, you would already be giving him the rundown of whatever had happened, so your quietness on the other end of the phone was more than a little worrying.

You showed up not long after, your sweats and oversized hoodie making you seem even smaller to him than normally.

Skipping over any greeting, he immediately pulled you into a tight, protective hug.

"What happened?" He asked again, but you just shook your head.

"Not yet." You mumbled, trying to soak in his soothing warmth. It was remarkable how easily the simple gesture from him never failed to give you such a sense of comfort and safety.

Once you finally separated, he quickly got you situated on the couch with your drinks, waiting patiently for you to begin.

"They lied, again." You said, staring at the floor as you spoke. "I thought things were getting better. I thought we were getting past it, but they fucking lied, right to my face."

The grip on his glass tightened as he listened to you explain, his long simmering anger and frustration at your situation rising to a boil.

"Fuck 'em." He said suddenly.

You looked up at him in surprise.

"I mean it," he said seriously. "You've put up with this shit for long enough. If they can't even have the basic decency to be honest with you, after everything that's happened, then fuck 'em. You deserve so much better than that, than them."

Caught off guard by the intensity of his words, you were hit with a sudden wave of emotion, trying desperately to blink back tears but failing.

"Shit, I'm sorry! Please don't cry." He apologized, frantically scrambling over to pull you into another hug.

"Why are you always so nice to me?" You sniffled.

He looked at you for a moment, unsure of how to answer other than the simple truth. "Because it's what you deserve."

You sat together for a while until your tears ceased and he noticed you drooping on his shoulder and suggested going to bed, waiting till he felt your breaths even out next to him before drifting off as well.

You woke in the morning to the loud clang of cookware and quiet curses.

"Joon?" You called groggily, finding him milling about the kitchen, looking slightly frazzled.

"Sorry babe, did I wake you?" He asked.

"Nah, it's fine." You said, ignoring the term of endearment he reserved for the nights you you stayed over. "What are you doing?"

"Making breakfast, or at least trying to." He said, stirring a pan of eggs uncertainly.

"Here, let me." You offered, taking over as he watched.

"So, um, I was thinking..." He said, trailing off uncertainly.

"Hmm?" You hummed.

"What if you just... stayed here?" He asked nervously. "At least for a little bit?"

You looked up in surprise. "Here?"

"Yeah, I mean, if you want to." He said, fiddling with his sleeves awkwardly. "It's nice having you around, and you're here all the time anyway and I...

"I don't want you to go back there." He said quietly. "They're not good for you, so I thought maybe you could just... be here?"

Slowly, you nodded. "I think I'd like that."

He smiled, relieved. "Good."

[brucewaynehater101]

I need to put this out into the universe

typically I avoid modern AUs because real world boring

but I inhale them like crack coccaine when it's got reincarnation and past life memories

=======

Basically imagine like Tim living his life on a Boring Plain Earth and then bam, memories of a Gotham that does not exist, heroes that can never be and magics that never were flood his brain; maybe something trigger his memories, maybe it just happens

or mabye it's slow and steady idk

----

So let's say that Bart not only failed on his quest to prevent the Bad Timeline but it got so bad that the planet, maybe even parts or all of the multiverse as they knew it died

And ever since then an Earth just like ours has been recieving reincarnators from that dead world

the heroes, the villains, the rogues, some civillians, etc.

----

There's two ways we can do this. Everyone is human, eventually recieves their memories at some point in time, finds eachother again, and is reassured they aren't insane since so many fellow supers, heroes and villains and rogues alike remember

Because of this they have to live in a world where their abilities used to change the world are pulled from right under them. (powers and maybe even civillian capabilities, money and connections)

The power they held is reduced to the civillians they saved or terroized once up a time

As for ordinary humans like the Bats or Amanda Waller? A plain world is gonna be a learning curve, as is having no supernatural safety nets, but maybe they'll adapt faster

I wonder if Clark feels guilty and thinks he's selfish for the joy he feels now being a normal human like his reborn adoptive parents, despite it being the furthest thing from the truth

Oh yeah, Wonder Woman, she may still be Greece on this new world but any connections she held with the Gods is just like every other person. There now exists a hole where a huge part of her first live's people and culture once were

Aquaman would have it rough, especially with how awful our and thus his new world treats the ocean

also if Damian was made artificially in his past life, imagine Bruce's relief if he were to succeed in having him with Tahlia this go around (assuming he gives a damn about the kid here)

okay but imagine Alfred being the first to wake up past memories, slowly or suddenly, and his POV as the Wayne family comes back together and remembers their own past lives

----

Another route is that they still keep their powers (if they had them) but only by a fraction. The users can tell and still use the power within them, but it's so much less than what they had before

How much power? Enough to maybe change the status quo if they applies their nerfed abilities smartly enough. Maybe. That's how little raw power they have left. Emphasis on the raw, but other aspects of their powers may be nerfed too

THis turns strategists into a more essential boon than ever before, powered folk would find themselves searching, flocking or entangled with reincarnators like Lex or the Bats because they have brains

Oh yeah the Flashes, on one hand, their metabolism is more human, on the other hand all the time they couldda spent thinking is yoinked and their connection to the Speedforce is so little that even if they wanted to, they're incapable of time travelling to restor their old world

Can ✨science✨ undo all this nerfting? If you wanna, sure but I think the answer of "absolutely not" is more fun

----

Circling back to Amanda, I wonder what her view on her new life is/

Would she still go for a government position after remembering everything? What would she strive to do with it?

Would she track down other reincarnators? Which ones in particular? What would she think of them now? Would she involve herself with anyone from her past life?

This depends on which take you have on this AU

In the Wholly Human route, she might only have people who never had any non-human or other special abilities to worry about, the Bats, Joker, the Pengiun, etc.

But if they still have Scraps of Superhumanity? Yeah she's gonna lock into focus with whatever plans she has for this no longer ordinary world.

----

this begs the question of who would see this crueler but less superhuman world as the chance for an ordinary life and take it?

who sees this world and continues to live their new life as they did their first one?

how does being in a world where they and/or other reincarnators are either wholly human or still have a fraction of their power left affect their decisions or views on this wolrd and whatnot?

I'm not gonna get into the logistics of our world suddenly becoming a Superhero Setting-lite, especially with governments or whatnot finding out cuz brain mentling

but also like, the superheroes and vigilantes, if they continue their old way of life, are gonna have to shift from a Superhero way of doing things to more of a Spy genre way of pulling things off

if they still have powers everyone outside of the loop aka not reincarnators will be so confused lol, who these criminals? (cuz methinks they'd get labeled as such)

----

Also there is The Question on if DC exists in their new world or not because the confusion and humor to be spawned from there being a Batman running around ("20 bucks it's a Watchmen irl" "30 it's a prank"), Clark Kent keeping his name after adoption cuz his parents remember ("parents have high hopes for you little hero") and Lex having to pick a different name for his corp cuz of Copyright, and these reincarnators adventuring the DC and Fandom Rabbit Hole

oh god I'd read a whole fic on that last one

But in a "zero DC media" Earth, we could get away with this planet being a lot more like canon, like Bruce being a billionare (and learning the hard way he'll be seen just like Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, etc.),

The Internet would break if they realized their plain world became legit Superhero World-Lite, even more so if there were powers, especially if DC media exists

----

this AU was meant to be reincarnators introspecting on their past lives, coping with being mere civillians with maybe power the rest of the population had not, coming to terms with only barely being able to change the whole wide world anymore, being forced to give up being a super due to circumstances outside their control

but the Superhero Genre Conventions parasitized it lololololol

I find modern AUs to be pretty boring as well. However, I absolutely dig the angst in this one.

All of the DC characters regaining their memories would be devastating. Since they are all "human", this would fuck with some of their concepts of self, identity, and culture. I can't imagine existing in the exact same place I've been and gaining memories that I was different or more than I currently am.

Like, what if some of them never became anything? What if, outside of DC, their lives are miserable? What if it's better?

Also, for those who are happy to be human, I bet that would be an unpopular opinion. Everyone else who's gaining their memories are grieving over a time they just learnt about, but these characters, maybe who have been ostracized or hurt by their abilities, are secretly glad they are human.

There's just so much pain and confusion and lost of self in this AU.

There's also crack (like Bruce Wayne still having a "Brucie" persona even without Batman).

In this AU, if there's no powers, there might still be a need for vigilantes. Just not in the way they are for DC. I can imagine Barbara is hacking and bullying the government, as she should. Bruce is influencing other rich people to weed out who's corrupt, committing heinous crimes, etc. and then utilizing an anonymous persona to turn them in.

I wonder if Joker was living a normal life, he got his memories, and then decided that was way more fun than whatever he was doing before.

The Bats might be fine, but anyone with powers is gonna struggle to do what they did before.

[sunny-mercya]

His Reasons

Rusty Ryan x Male Reader

Fandom -> Ocean's Trilogy

Masterlist

When Danny, after being out of prison, asked Rusty to join him at a Grand Coup—Rusty had only agreed halfway to it. After all he wanted to know what exactly they would rob and risking their lives and freedom for.

And when Danny told him, they gonna rob three Casinos in good old Viva Las Vegas, Rusty wanted to know a good enough reason for him to join in such madness of nonsense.

And Danny, like the best friend and charming asshole he is, told Rusty the only valid reason;

»If we pull this off and I promise you, we will, you can finally move with [Name] to wherever your heart desires and afford the safety you have promised him.«

Danny was right, hitting a wound point in Rusty's ego, because there had been one thing Rusty couldn't give you and that was protection. Protection you from a past, you wouldn't be able to free yourself if you don't have a certain amount of money to pay for.

»Okay. I'm in, but if we fail I'm gonna send you personally to hell, Danny boy.«

Rusty might have agreed, trusting and believing in his friend that they will manage this with a 100 percentage chance of successful winning—but he also know what price it would cost him, because if they indeed fail it would be you who Rusty would lose and you're more worth to him than all the money and jewels in the world.

~~~

So far, the whole plan went, besides absolutely minor improvements of differences, hellbent well.

Rusty could almost imagine the millions, billions, of money he would have. Enough money to buy you free and finally move to either (f.country) or sweet California.

Just you and him, Rusty thought, imagining the new life—fully secure, comfortable and happy healthy—he would have with you and maybe a big family with lots of dogs and cats (and perhaps Danny, because he's your self-proclaimed older brother)

„Uh, uhm, Rusty there's–“ „Rusty, there's a problem. A You problem.“

»What?« asked Rusty, scrunching up his face in confusion. Another problem? What sort of you-problem do they mean?

„Look towards the entrance.“

»Fuck. Give me some minutes to handle this guys.«

»Robert Russel James Ryan! You do not write me a letter with such unbelievable heinous words and leave our house in such fucking manners. How fucking dare you! Do you know how fucking worried I was?!«

A few people had turned their heads, when you had marched forward to Rusty and shouted in anger at him.

Ouch, shouting his full name—yeah, you're furious and it was Rusty's own damn faulty mistake. Indeed a You-Problem.

Rusty took a few steps forward to you, having his hands up in surrender, wanting to appease you. Honestly, he haven't seen you this angry ever since Danny and him had a bloody fist fight with your "Boss", which they lost—of course, as they couldn't win against a knife and knuckleheads—and you were so furious with them, that they were taken back with the amount of cursing you said at them, while treating their wounds.

»Hey, love, watcha you doing here?«

»Don't come with such bullshit. You know perfectly well, why the fuck I'm here. So tell me now, Russel, the fuck are you and Danny—and I know that fucker is here as well—suspiciously planning to do here?!«

Rusty inhaled and exhaled deeply through his nose, trying to think of a way to get you away from here—before you causing more disturbance and a possible fail to the plan. Then again, he could use you for a good distraction, but no—no, no, he had sworn himself to not do such things with you.

Gripping your arms gently, Rusty pulls you close to his side and leads you away to a more secluded area of waiting.

~~~

Waking up to an empty bedside next to you and discovering your husband is not in your shared apartment, even though he told he would be on time back—and that has been days ago, I mind you—brought a lot of unpleasant thoughts through your mind.

There could be many things happening to Rusty; him having a accident, in a hospital and injured, arrested—your husband is certainly not a innocent man, he had done some bad and dangerous awful things of illegally, you're aware of it—or worst case scenario, your Boss quit the deal and killed Rusty.

You started to walk through your tiny apartment, still clothes in pyjamas—shorts and one of Rusty's oversized shirts—mind going haywire with everything and anything; be it the due bills, another round of grocery shopping—as Rusty is a total glutton and eats more than you and probably has an endless pit of a stomach—which you don't know how to pay for, the payment deal, Rusty being gone and probably killed and you still being jobless.

A lot of things for a tiny mind like yours to think about.

Then, while you cleaned, you found a note—definitely from Rusty and when you read it, you screamed in disbelief.

Yeah, sure, do a few days trip to Las Vegas and just don't tell me personally, not even the reasons for it—you thought, scoffing at your Husband, who's a buffoon

~~~

»Rusty, you tell me now why you and Danny are here.«

»I can't love, it's a surprise«

Perhaps, in perspective, Rusty should have told you personally about his little trip and possibly heist, but then it wouldn't be a surprise and loved to surprise you.

»Fuck your surprise. I thought he called off the deal, I thought he had killed you. I was worried sick.«

»I know, I know, dear. I apologise, I shouldn't have told you via note, could this prince forgive a humble man like me?«

Rusty leaned in closer, whispering the last few words in your ear as he ask for your forgiveness and kissing your cheek, when you remained silent.

„Not to bother, but time management?“

Rusty rolled his eyes, the guys could be such mood killers and a pain of annoyance in the ass. The gang was his gang though and he had a job to fulfil.

»Need to go, love. Meet me at Helios-Motel in like two hours.« Rusty kissed your lips, a gentle kiss it was and gave you the Motel-Keys.

Before Rusty could stand up and go, you had taken ahold of his hand.

»You promised me, you and Danny will be safe and unharmed?«

»Always, my love«

And when Rusty flashed you his signature grin, you let him go—knowing he wouldn't break his promise.

[darksou07]

Transgender people don't owe you an explanation about their bodies

This is a thing I believe should be said. I don't usually write about being LGBT+ or anything related to that, but for other trans people's sake, I will put it out here and hopefully reach out to those who need it.

Being transgender means your gender identity doesn't match the sex you are assigned at birth. Meaning, if a baby was born and they were immediately assigned as being male, then eventually this baby realised they're actually a girl. This person is transgender.

If someone is assigned female at birth, then eventually realises they actually don't identify as a woman nor a man. Then this person is also transgender.

One of the few cases in which these lines might get blurry is if the person was assigned male, then realises their gender is actually woman and man. They wouldn't be wrong to say they are both cis and trans.

This is without mentioning the complexities that comes with being intersex, gender non-comforming, drag queen/drag king, salmacian, crossdresser and many other variations that will affect the specific ways some transgender people experience their genders.

Regardless of these variables, one thing is a fact though, I honestly can't believe I have to say that in 2024, nobody is entitled to know about our bodies. Not a single person, except ourselves.

Oh, you mean, you know it isn't polite to ask about a trans person's genitals, right? Well, the issue is actually a lot more complex than that.

Probably the most talked about issue related to it is about sexual partners. If a cis man happens to have a sexual interaction with a trans woman, then decides to take her to a one way trip to the afterlife in an unimaginable traumatic and painful way... Then that's on him. He's a transphobe and a criminal. He isn't a victim in this situation.

"Oh, but did she disclose that she was trans?"

I mean, not everyone is going to disclose the way their genitals are different or some not very pleasant traits of their bodies, yet they don't die because of that. Especially not in such humiliating ways and have a bunch of people who weren't there claiming this was the victim's fault.

Honestly, the only reason I even suggest that trans people tell their partners is for their own safety and there's literary no guarantee even that will help since some people use this as an excuse to commit hate crimes. You know, not even our sexual partners are entitled to know our medical history. Not a single person needs to know about our biology, unless we need them to know.

That means, people who would literary put us in danger (accidentally or not) if they didn't know, such as sexual partners and doctors. Even these cases are best to be analysed in each context if that'd be a good idea. (A sexual partner online that has no plans of meeting up the transgender person will be more likely to be transphobic if they know this information, but if they were going to meet in person, then it would be safer for the trans partner to disclose it for their own safety.)

Frankly, if a person decides to cut contact with every single family member, friend and acquaintance who met them before transitioning, moving far away, making up a completely different story about being cisgender and living as their gender while taking their whole process to the grave... That's their right. If this is what would make them happy, they should be allowed to go for it.

"But what about the trans women/trans men invading lesbian/gay spaces?"

If they are lesbian/gay women/men, then they are at the absolutely right space. (Or generally attracted to the same gender.) Attempts of forcing people out of gendered spaces that they belong to means you do not see trans women as real women nor trans men as real. That is transphobia and entitlement to trans people's bodies.

"What about intersex people? They don't want you to use them as arguments for nonbinary existence nor as ways to keep yourself being stealth."

Nonbinary people could still exist even if being intersex wasn't a thing since sex =/= gender. Besides, intersex bodies do show that sex isn't limited by male and female just like nonbinary shows that gender isn't just man or woman.

Also, the whole thing about "pretending to be intersex" as a trans stealth person being intersexism is literary something new. At least from what I've seen in trans spaces, we aren't even doing that. We are actually claiming to have hormonal imbalance (that has causes not related to being intersex at times) that makes us not have the expected hormones for men/males or women/females, which is absolutely correct. Many trans women cannot produce the expected amount of estrogen for women and tend to have higher levels of testosterone as well. Doing hormonal therapy for this is something that even cis women do, especially if they happen to have PCOS. The fact that she's not disclosing her transness doesn't mean she's taking up the space that belongs to intersex people.

Just like how some pre or non-op trans men who have visible chests aren't taking up intersex spaces by saying he has gynecomastia, since this condition can also happen if someone takes risperidone as a side effect. Cis men who have such condition may opt for surgery that often comes with the very same scars you see with top surgery made for trans men/transmasculine people/nonbinary folks. If a person needs or wants to be stealth about it, they are allowed to say they had excess growth of breast tissue that made them uncomfortable and not have to specify they were actually dealing with gender dysphoria. That's private information nobody has any business knowing.

While many things have changed and progress has been made for trans people to be open about their transness, some of us don't want to deal with the discrimination that comes with such visibility and that doesn't make us liars nor monsters. Sometimes we need to do so because it's what makes us happy and our gender dysphoria can destroy this if others know about our past, even if they live in a trans positive environment.

We do not owe our bodies to anyone.

We do not owe letting other people know of the medical procedures we went or go through.

We do not owe our current or past sex characteristics to anyone.

If you do not support trans people who cannot or don't want to pass, then you are a transphobe.

If you do not support trans people who do pass and are open about being transgender, then you are a transphobe.

If you do not support trans people who are stealth and have to hide or change parts of their story to keep being seen as equal towards their cisgender peers, then you are a transphobe.

If you do not support trans people occupying gender-specific spaces that match their gender identities even if it goes against the sex they were assigned at birth, then you are a transphobe.

If you do not support trans people who cannot come out or get gender-affirming care for any reason, then you are a transphobe.

If you do not support trans people who don't want to do any gender affirming procedures or hormonal therapy, then you are a transphobe.

We do not owe you our medical history, our social changes, our document changes nor the lack of these. If we share this information with you, don't expect that from other trans people. We are individual and we are allowed to disclose or not about ourselves.

If you cannot treat trans people as the gender they are, then you are a transphobe. The sex we were assigned at birth doesn't have to be part of our social interactions and as long as society keeps separating us from the groups we belong to, we will have to keep this information private. Sometimes we have to do so because we get gender dysphoria over being forced to disclose our sex assigned to us at birth.

I'm nonbinary, but my goal is to get to a point people would look at me and assume I was assigned male at birth. No, I'm not talking about being seen as a man, I'm literary talking about being assumed to have been born with sex characteristics assumed to belong only to men and be out as nonbinary if safe to do so.

I honestly don't see anything wrong with my transition goals since they literary won't have any negative consequences to the people around me. My family mouring a "girl" doesn't count. They wouldn't have to do so if our society didn't demonize us or if they didn't have such limited views of what a woman or a man can do/be.

I had to deconstruct the ideas I had of what being a man or woman meant, so will they if they plan on having a good relationship with me. That's just how it is. The fact is that we always existed in society and we will keep existing even if you try to make us go extinct. We don't owe you information about our bodies and never will.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

Carter and Lovecraft, by Jonathan L. Howard (2015)

I really wanted to like this book.

I've read a few Lovecraft novels and stories, and I liked them. So when I saw this on my friend's bookshelf, I borrowed it, and read it.

Tried to.

The first real fly in the ointment? NYPD protag sees his partner take a 9mm retirement in front of him on a creepy case, and becomes a private detective. Mysterious lawyer shows up at his office one day and says there was a bookstore owner in Providence, Rhode Island, who has been missing and just declared dead.

The protag gets the bookshop. He's not sure why.

Protag goes to the bookshop. Owner's niece, Emily, is there. She's been running the shop alone since the owner vanished, and she co-ran it when he was alive. Also, she's biracial. Would be played by Zoe Kravitz in the movie, he thinks.

Her name is Lovecraft.

As in, she's a descendant of ol' Howard Philips.

She notes the irony; a black-ish "mulatto" descendant of an anti-black racist.

"Okay," I think, as I checked the publication date. "You've gotten that token bit out of the way. Now, can we move on?"

Apparently not.

As protag starts looking into the disappearance and other weird stuff, he decides he needs to get his eye in. So he goes to a gun range, where he needs to sign up for the NRA first

and ends the session by "re-engaging the safety" on his Glock.

Fun fact: stock Glocks don't have manual safeties, AFAIK.

In the next chapter, protag thinks about how he used the gun. He hates the NRA and the whole "gun fetish" thing, but he needs the iron, just in case.

Two strikes. Three if you count the safety thing.

Yes, I know an NYPD cop might be a bit bigoted about the issue, especially considering how his partner died. But it really feels like the writer's opinion.

In fact, let me just-

Yep. The writer is British. This sounds awfully familiar.

It was about this time that I realized something. The protagonist has no traits that aren't directly related to being a cop or detective. Absolutely none.

I don't think we know what he does in his off hours. No friends. Nothing but the job.

Heck, Miss Lovecraft has more personality than him, and she takes up a lot less screen time.

Protag decides to give Lovecraft half the business, so he can become a silent partner. People start dying in physically impossible ways - like the dude who drowned in his dry car in a parking lot - our hero looks into it.

He also ends up learning about a local family, the Waites. Rich, keep to themselves on their own land, been around since before the area was officially settled, apparently.

The local who tells him about all this says the younger ones are oddly attractive. The family has distinctive big eyes.

Anyone remotely familiar with HP Lovecraft just went "Oh, right, they're fishmen. Got it." I've seen this trope done better before, like in the comic Shadowgirls.

Hero looks into the archives, finds records of a racist Town Council rant by an early Waite, back when they were still into trading. Including slaves. Specifically, patriarch Newton Waite went to a council meeting and said black people should serve others, and shouldn't have self-determination.

The archivist intern says it's was "a different time", and that's just how people were back then.

Of course, he adds "People who talk like that now - no pass for them."

End scene.

Like this extremely mainstream, boring opinion is some kind of

In the next scene, protag chats about the fit he had near the Waite place. Learns about another mysterious death. When he chats about it with Emily, he suddenly realizes she's hot.

Then the narration tells us that he was a racist bigot in his teens, though he thought he was being sensible at the time. He now knows he was wrong, but he still feels sparks of it when he reads about some black kid doing some stereotypically black thing, which gives certain white people "a hard-on of righteousness".

And, of course, his time spent walking away from "instinctive racism" means his dating pool opened up. Like Emily Lovecraft, for example.

The most stereotypically black thing would probably be crime. Or being a single mom or deadbeat dad.

 Sadly, I know of plenty of black people - from my black majority home country - who fall into one of those categories. Or two. Three if you include "poverty", but we're Developing, so that barely even counts.

Also, this basically came out of nowhere. Not Emily being hot - I mean, look at Zoe Kravitz - but his unsolicited thoughts on racism.

All of these issues have also been issues for many concerned black people. For decades. The 'stereotypically black things' might be bad themselves, not because they make racist white people feel smug.

This is precisely where I closed the book for good. I would've put away the bookmarks, but I needed the page so I could write this rant.

Honestly, writing all this made me realize that I should've given up long before I made it halfway through the book. But I just kept hoping it would get better.

Doing the same well-worn cliches in a modern setting doesn't really make them interesting. Neither do the little 'racism is bad, mmmkay?' bits.

[76blades]

I can no longer stay silent.

I always feel bad for venting out loud, whether it be publicly or to my Twitter circle (which I have been doing a lot lately, and I’m sorry if it’s been distressing (…my point exactly)). But things have not been ok, nor have shown any significant chances of getting better anytime soon. I know I’m gonna be beating myself up later for posting this, but I’m sick and tired and I can’t stay quiet. I’m desperate for change.

For those who don’t know, Winter’s family (and job) has been severely mentally and emotionally abusing her, and it’s not just because of her gender identity. They’ve threatened and harassed her over her showing any negative emotions, her body, her interests, the food she eats, you name it. Granted, it’s not my tale to tell, but it has been BAD as of late for her, and it definitely has affected me. I might be going through some similar stuff with my dad, but he’s nothing compared to them.

Speaking of, for those who don’t know about my dad, he’s a slightly better version of Winter’s parents; a well-intended asshole but still an asshole. He has caused me to question my sanity and safety several times, and he refuses to acknowledge my anxiety as anything serious, and believes it’s something I can easily control and/or an act I put on. He’s been trying to pull me into college even though I’ve told him several times that I don’t want to, and he’s told me several times that if I don’t follow his advice then I’m only gonna end up nowhere. He certainly doesn’t believe anything regarding Winter’s situation either, and views it all with rose-tinted glasses. 

He also demands to know my entire schedule for the week, that I laugh at his jokes or smile when I don’t want to; and he even touches my shoulders and back without my consent, and he’ll get mad when I express my discomfort. I was dreading having to move back in with him because I knew this would all be happening, only for it to be so much worse. I don’t even feel comfortable recording when he’s home because I’m afraid of him yelling and/or making fun of me. And yet, it’s funny and sad how he’s an absolute saint compared to Winter’s family.

Winter and I have been breaking our backs trying to save up for a new home, but our jobs have been cruel to us on top of our families. We’re being overworked and underpaid, and a good chunk of our paychecks goes towards food and travel expenses. And while we’ve been trying our best to push our comms, we’re still a far way from freedom.

I don’t ever want to come off as a beggar for money, attention, etc., and I feel anxious whenever I boost my comms because of that, and yet I also feel like that’s exactly what I’m doing here. But I need to be transparent with you all about my and Winter’s situation. I am truly afraid that one of might truly snap, with the little remaining of our sanity vanishing in an instant. Tbh I feel like that person is more likely to be me than her. 

Regardless, I’m unsure of what else to do right now other than to keep boosting commissions and whatnot (and I might make a Ko-Fi goal too, idk), but I want to keep finding affective (and healthy) ways to spread awareness of our situation and help bring us a few steps closer to where we want to be.

I know I’ve said that I feel like I’m waiting for a miracle that won’t come, but maybe you all could help us bring that miracle to life. Thank you all for taking time out of your day to read this and support us.

I will be attaching links to my comms and Ko-Fi, as well as Winter’s. If you have any questions or would like to consider commissioning us, feel free to DM or Email either of us.

TLDR: Winter and I are being abused. We're desperate to leave our perspective toxic environments, and we need some extra help.

My Commissions | My Ko-Fi | Winter's Commissions | Winter's Ko-Fi

[tomwambsgans]

one of the most interesting things to me about tom's ladder-climbing is the fact that he was clearly not, in fact, that low to begin with. in a deleted scene from 2x3, he reveals that his dad teaches media studies - and has presumably done so as a career for most if not all of tom's life, given that this information is an argument against the notion of tom being a poor child. whether his mom's status as a Respected Twin Cities Divorce Lawyer was a factor back then too, at the very least his family could afford to recreationally hunt game.

but tom also says himself that he's been thinking his whole life about money. how to get money, how to keep money.

so the thing i have to wonder is, was that ever an issue? the wambsganses don't seem to have ever been anything but upper middle class. but who knows, maybe they've had their low spots. maybe tom had a mostly spoiled childhood but then the economy hit them kinda rough for a time. that would certainly inform tom specifying "how to keep money." maybe he's had to learn the hard way, in his formative years, how abruptly you could lose what had become normal to you if you weren't careful.

clearly tom's parents have been doing well for likely some years before the events of the show. but also not so well that their "contribution" to the wine at tom's wedding doesn't feel like a huge chunk of change to them. they're still at the point that they don't have the decorum not to act like money is a huge deal, which is telling. i have to imagine that, similar to greg, tom has been helping his parents out a bit since his salary has hit 6 figures. who knows how much of the money his parents spent was just tom's money to begin with - maybe none at all. maybe he's only paid off some debts and allowed their own income to pile up, and all they needed was that temporary safety net. it's likely enough that tom's dad's teaching salary has grown exponentially because of his age and experience, and that mom wambsgans has seen a huge boom in clients in recent years.

something else to consider is shiv's description of tom's family as striving -- which, while there is a lot of hostility at play during that whole scene, i believe is essentially true. thinking about that line and then about tom's parents in prenuptials, you get a really vivid image of the way the middle class desperately mimics the upper class. the way that, every once in a while, they can afford to. and then their desperation gives them away.

tom was raised by two very ambitious people, and it's trickled down to him. he was absolutely raised with an overt and vocally repeated message of do well in school, get into a good college, get a high-paying job. maybe they even told him better than ours... even though it seems his parents are to some extent following personal passions. divorce attorney and media studies professor aren't the kind of jobs that anyone does just because it pays well. they're both specializing in their fields, which is evidence enough of a real attachment to those careers even if we didn't also have mom demanding to see tom's prenup, and frankly the fact alone that tom himself went into media. like, if there was ever a sense of passion in tom's career, that was probably the connecting piece. after all, what boy doesn't want to impress his dad?

...and it's for that reason that i do not think tom was specifically told to be a business major. i feel pretty certain that he wouldn't have been discouraged from a career that made him happy unless it was a completely fruitless passion. but i don't know if i should then necessarily figure the opposite: that tom was ever specifically encouraged to find something to be passionate about. i can't imagine a tom any older than 10 trying to declare ambitions that were purely artistic in the first place. i might just be biased but tom seems like the type who has had this intuition from birth: to understand what others wanted from him and do it. i would say that, similarly to greg, simply being loved and approved of is tom's passion. and by god did he do it.

one last thing that stays on my mind is that tom went to an ivy league school, which i believe his own merit is somewhat responsible for. but, in contrast to greg now, i seriously doubt that tom has ever totally lacked a cushion. i think he had some relatively breezy college years. he studied hard, of course, and knowing that he was being supported the whole time likely helped.

(and he spent all that time at school, and another 2-4 years at another school, and still showed up in manhattan yet without a shell.)

obviously there's no telling exactly how much luck tom grew up with. a middle-class family's finances could easily be all over the place in a matter of 18 years. and they really probably were, because why else would keeping money be such a concern? and why would it stick so hard?

it's just interesting to think of how much more privileged tom's childhood must have been compared to so many, greg included, and yet how the roys are just so far up that it makes their situations feel equal.

[reginaaxxwrites]

Death Eaters (Draco Malfoy)

Okay, I've done some research, and Parkinsons was not confirmed that they are Death Eaters but they do support You-Know-Who. Pansy was impressed that Draco had taken the Dark Mark. Also, you are Pansy's little sister.

Since this is a fanfiction... I'll change it a bit.

Warnings: mentions of suicide, death, torture, and blood.

*****

Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader

*****

Sometimes, it's a curse to have Pansy as my sister. Being a Parkinson is a curse. It's a shame to be born into this family. I always knew that I was different from them. So, in my first year, my parents thought, even my sister, that I would end up in Slytherin.

But it turns out the sorting hat put me in Ravenclaw.

"Is it the nargles?" A sweet soft voice had erased my deep thoughts.

"Probably. How was your day, Luna?" I smiled at her.

"All good, thanks."

I continued to do my homework in silence while Luna was humming whilst scribbling something on her parchment paper. I'm sure that she wasn't doing her homework, but I let her do whatever she wants.

Everyone seemed to be gloomy ever since the term started. After the Ministry announced that You-Know-Who came back and fought Harry Potter. Some of my muggle friends didn't return because their parents are worried for their children's safety.

I knew that You-Know-Who returned in my third year. The moment Potter came back with Cedric Diggory's dead body. Fear shivered my whole body. I knew I had to be proud and happy that He was back. But I wasn't...unlike my family.

My eyes went to the Slytherin's table where I saw Pansy talking to Malfoy. Those two dated before and my sister would boast about it. Malfoy liked the attention but got tired of it. Despite that, Pansy would still go after him.

Since the term started, Malfoy's attitude changed. He became gloomy and more easily irritated than usual. I wasn't used to it. He would always tease me around, even when I visit the Malfoy Manor during holidays.

The thought came across in my head that his father was in Azkaban. It's probably the reason why he changed. I knew his father deserve it for his crimes. Mr. Malfoy was very fond of You-Know-Who, at least that's what my father told me. For me, his father only worships the Dark Lord out of fear.

"Is something wrong, Y/N?" Chang sat beside me as she opened her books and brings out her parchment paper, ink, and quill.

"Nothing. Just daydreaming..."

"Seems like you're troubled. And I can tell it's about a boy." She gave me a soft yet teasing smile. Cho is two years older than me. She was more like a sister to me than Pansy.

"He's been distant. I hate that Potter might be right about his suspicions about him." I placed my chin on the palm of my hand as I continue to do my assignment.

A bitter look was seen on Cho's face after I mentioned Potter's name. Those two also dated for a while. A soft laugh came out of my lips then she glared at me.

"Sorry." My grin never left my lips which made her groan and ignored me.

_

I was on my way back to our Common Room when I saw Draco. He was panicking and didn't know where to go. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't worried so I called his name. He looked at me with teary eyes. He was shaking. 

I didn't utter a word. He immediately wrapped me in his arms. We both kneel on the ground, still holding me tightly. I was surprised but I didn't question him. He buried his face in my chest. I slowly put my left hand on his back and my right hand on his hair. 

"I'm scared... I don't know what to do." His voice was trembling with fear. I held him close, letting him find comfort in my arms. 

This is the first time I see him like this. Draco also did some terrible things. But he grew up in a cruel family. He doesn't deserve this. He's misunderstood. Always has been.

"You need not say a word, Malfoy. Let it all out. I'm here..." I hold him tight in my arms like a child who's seeking refuge from his mother.

I wanted to question him. But I know he wouldn't tell me unless he's willing to. I don't know what he's been through. But I hope that somehow he can manage.

We stayed for as long that I can remember. Thank Merlin that it was already late at night. Most of the students must be already in their common room. 

_

After that night, Draco avoided me. He acts like nothing ever happened that night. I know I shouldn't care. But I'm also worried about him. 

I wanted to talk to him. And since Pansy is in Slytherin, I decided to approach my sister at the Great Hall to ask about Draco. As much as I hate to be seen or near my sister, it's the only way where Draco's whereabouts.

I went over to Slytherin's table and sat in front of my sister while I'm between Blaise and Theo. They were surprised to see me sitting with them. Since I never really got along with the Slytherins.

"Well, what do we have here?" Theo leaned at the table while he rests his hand on his cheek. I saw him grinning at me.

"What are you doing in here, Y/N? Ravenclaw's table is over there." Pansy looked at my house's table. "I'm looking for Malfoy. Have you seen him?" I asked her straightforwardly. I swear Theo's grin grew wide while Blaise smiled. Pansy raised her eyebrow at me.

"Why are you looking for him?" My sister asked. I didn't think this through. Of course, she'll ask. Because, weirdly, a Ravenclaw girl looks for a Slytherin boy who she barely talks to unless he teases her. Also, this girl is not on good terms with Slytherins.

"Does it matter?" 

"Why. are. you. looking. for. him. Y/N?" She demanded. I couldn't find any excuse for why I was looking for him. I am not going to tell her the exact reason because she'll further ask me more questions.

"Calm down, Pan. Perhaps little Y/N has a crush on Draco. Aren't you?" Theo teases. I glared at him.

"Shut it, Nott," I told him as he raised his hands as surrendered.

"He's somewhere in the castle. Maybe the Room of Requirements?" Blaise answered beside me.

Pansy hits his arm but not that hard. She returns her attention to me and examines me. 

"I don't know what you're up to. But stay away from him." She warned me. We stared at each other like we were competing. The first one to break their eye contact loses. We both look away at the same time when we heard Theo laugh.

"Damn, never saw the day that little Y/N looked so fierce until now. No offense, Pan. She looks way hotter than you." Theo flirted. He always flirted with me but I always brushed it off. He's a playboy.

"Piss off, Theo." Pansy hissed at him.

I stood up and was about to leave when I looked at Blaise. I don't where the Room of Requirements is located.

"It only appears when you need it the most." He answered as if he can read my mind. "But it's mostly located near the Astronomy Tower." 

"Thanks." And I continued to walk away.

_

I don't know why I was in a hurry to look for the room where he is. I kept walking and walking until a door appeared. My hands were shaking as I try to open the door. 

Why am I nervous? It's just Malfoy. 

Why am I determined to look for him?

Why do I care for him?

Why am I here? 

I stopped opening the door and turned around to walk away when I heard the door open.

"Y/N?" My heart skipped a beat. I turned to look at him. 

My softens as I look at his features. He looks tired and has a dark circle under his eyes. He doesn't get enough sleep. His hair which used to look neat is now messy just like the last time I saw him.

Just what is happening to him?

"Malfoy. I was just about to head to the Great Hall." I lied. He raised his eyebrow.

"The Great Hall is in the other way. What are you doing in here?" His voice was a bit hoarse. I could tell he was tired.

"I could ask the same thing." 

"Nothing that concerns you." He looked away.

"You're hiding something. You can tell me everything." I could tell I was annoying because he frowned. "I know I shouldn't pry but I worry about you and I don't know why. Maybe it's because you ran to me that day. What is happening to you, Malfoy?" 

He didn't say anything and just look into my eyes. His breathing was starting to get heavy, his hands were shaking. 

He was having another panic attack.

"Malfoy?" I went closer to him and placed my hand on his back.

"H-Help..." I didn't know what to do but to look for help. He needs to be in the Hospital Wing. Calming draught is the only thing that can stop his state.

"I'll find help." I was about to go when he held my wrist. "Malfoy, I need to get help. We need to go to the Hospital Wing."

"No. I-I can't. Please, stay." So, I did. I embraced him as if I can make his troubles go away. I caressed his back. I could feel his breathing was slowly going normal.

"I'm a death eater. And I'm sorry you have to be one of us." 

"H-How did you know?" My throat starts to tighten as I feel my heart wanted to break out of its cage.

"I was there... I heard your screams and your cries. The image of you haunts me. It reminds me of how much of a coward I am. I couldn't protect you. I..."

"It's time you bear the mark." Father looked at me. His eyes were emotionless just as they had always been.

The Malfoys, Nott, Crabbe, Goyle, and other pureblood couples worship He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named are in here. They were all looking at me.

"You already disappointed us by being sorted in Ravenclaw and neglecting your responsibility as a Parkinson. Not to mention your association with mudbloods."  

"I told you, Father. I am not joining you. I will not fight with Him." It's a stupid thing to talk back, I know. But what's enough is enough. They forced me enough to incline myself with dark arts.

"You don't have a choice, Y/N." Mother pointed a wand at me. Before I could utter a word, she used an unforgivable curse at me.

"Crucio."

My whole body collapsed from the unbearable pain. It feels like it was going to break me, to tear me apart.

I screamed and screamed as my mother continued to cast the same spell on me. I didn't care whether some of them were watching but I know they were entertained. 

"Why can't you be more like your sister?" Mother asked. I didn't bother to answer her.

My whole body was shaking. I was crying and my head was burning. I wanted to run away. Death was closer than I thought. 

I wonder if they would kill me now. 

I felt a weight upon my body. Though my vision was blurry, I knew it was Bellatrix Lestrange. I tried to pull away from her but she cast a spell on me as if my whole body was paralyzed. 

I continued to shout my cries and begged for help like someone was going to stop what she was doing to me.

"Please...Stop. No more... I-I beg you..." I said between my cries. It was almost hard to understand what I was saying. While my cries were filling the room we were in, Bellatrix's laugh was audible.

My parents watched me get tortured. Blood was dripping from my wrists. She continued to cut my skin, even on my face, she left a cut. She was ruining me and I couldn't do anything.

While she continues to torture me, I could feel the burning sensation on my wrists.

No... It can't be...

"PLEASE NO!" I shouted. As soon as she finished, she left. All of them left the room except my parents.

"You must make us proud. Whether you like it or not. You will join us. We sealed your fate and you must accept it." Father said before leaving the room.

I was left laying there with a dark mark on my wrist. I would rather join Death over this.

Staring at the ceiling, I was thinking about all of the possible ways to end my life. Right here, right now. But I was too weak to move or do anything at all.

My eyes were slowly closing. If I lost consciousness right now, I hope I'll never wake up again. 

Let me die in my sleep.

Please.

"None of it was your fault," I told him.

"I know... But I carried you to your bed that night. I cleaned your wounds. But I know I can't take the pain away. I wish I could. But I can't." 

"I tried to take it off, you know. I cast every spell. I even wanted to chop off my wrists. I never wanted to torture people and yet I did because what choice do I have?" I was crying and this time Malfoy pull me into his arms.

"I'm tired, Draco. But I have to be strong. I need to protect my friends. They still need me. Even if they have to hate me from joining the other side." 

"We'll protect each other." He said. I looked at him and he gave me a faint smile. "Even if they'll get us killed. As long as I'm with you."

I let myself sink into his arms. We could hear our hearts beating. It was calm. Our hearts found comfort in each other. 

"Thank you, Draco... Thank you."

"No. Thank you, love. And I'm sorry."

*****

I feel like this is a boring one. But, oh well. Thank you for the continuous support despite having had a hiatus for months.

[sonicasura]

Not sure if the Kaiju number 8 world is escapism for the characters, or me. Probably both. Somehow I always bring KNACK around to sad/weird.

Lucas looks up to Reno, who is older than him but has similar traits. Lucas is too young to join the Defense Force, but in the meantime, he's likely to hang out more and more in that universe and hear the stories. Reno is kind of like an older brother, which is a role Knack can occupy only sometimes.

Once Reno impresses on Lucas how dangerous Kaiju are and why Kafka's secret is so important to keep, poor Kafka feels teamed on when he gets two earfuls about being reckless instead of one.

Knack gets chewed out, too, because Lucas wants to keep him safe. Though Knack may at some point tell him to 'zip it!' When priorities change.

The safety of his friends and family is more important than Knack's own protection. In that respect, him and Kafka's tendencies align.

He burns through Sunstone energy like fire through gasoline, however, those times he gets involved in battle. Kaiju are *nothing* like humans and goblins. I wonder how he might mess with Kaiju sensors, if at all.

Kafka's fatherly tendencies have interesting effects on the KNACK boys. Lucas finally feels listened-to and valued by an adult, and after the boys figure out how Knack's portals work, Lucas feels less and less inclined to return home every visit. Especially after getting into arguments with the Doctor. I think Kafka recognizes this as a problem, but I'm not sure how he approaches it.

The weirder part might be Knack's temperament. Knack's been alive for less than a few years, and I headcanon that this is his only go around with the whole existing thing. So Knack has always been as he is. Kafka has only been half-kaiju for less than a year, but is in his thirties, as we know.

Knack asks Kafka how he handles being different, mistreated for his looks even though he's human. Knack probably made an assumption that Kafka has had his kaiju powers for longer than he really did. Lucas points out that Knack seemingly implied that Knack is human when he isn't. And Knack shuts down after that, only giving one-word answers or silence for the rest of the talk. That's why it's kinda weird and I'm not sure how to explain Knack's feelings. He likes how he is and the way he looks, so he's not ashamed of himself in that way. But he called himself human for some reason.

This just makes me think back to Knack 1 where the Doctor says that Charlotte was his better half alongside Lucas genuinely being an orphan(lost his mother and no father in the picture). He genuinely cares for the two but sometimes his interests get the better of him. I think that's why Knack alongside Lucas have been exploring on their own while Doctor and Charlotte were at the Monk Temple in Knack 2.

A massive argument which makes the older man realize both his assistants need time to grow as their own individuals while he needs to reflect on himself. They do separate on better terms though when Lucas' group ends up seeking the Doctor for help in Knack 2. Both our younger heroes definitely flourished during their personal journey.

It also makes senses why Lucas ends up losing it later on in Knack 2, he doesn't want to be pushed to the wayside and ignored again especially for his blocky brother figure. An irrational fear as Knack would never dare replace Lucas something reaffirmed once the two are stranded on that island together.

Reno and Kafka sorta just speed up the process of the eventual separation. Both give the younger boys that needed reassurance but also validation. Kafka and Knack cope with not being human alongside learning about themselves better. Lucas gets to really show off his ideas but actually feels seen due to Reno than just our favorite himbo. Both people allow our boys to truly grow into their own individuals.

You can say exploring the world of Kaiju No. 8 is like finally being able to leave the nest in my opinion.

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"Confederate monuments bear what the anthropological theorist Michael Taussig would call a public secret: something that is privately known but collectively denied. It does no good to simply reveal the secret — in this case, to tell people that most of the Confederate monuments were erected not at the end of the Civil War, to honor those who fought, but at the height of Jim Crow, to entrench a system of racial hierarchy. That’s already part of their appeal. Dr. Taussig has argued that public secrets don’t lose their power unless they are transformed in a manner that does justice to the scale of the secret. He compares the process to desecration. How can you expect people to stop believing in their gods without providing some other way of making sense of this world and our future?

Swords Into Plowshares might have been the first to propose melting, but other communities are working out their own creative visions for Lee’s afterlife. One of the biggest changes so far has been at Arlington House, the historic plantation mansion at the center of Arlington National Cemetery, which is the official national Robert E. Lee Memorial. In 2021, Arlington House reopened with displays not only about Lee’s family, who lived there after they inherited it from Lee’s father-in-law, but also about the lives of the families enslaved there. Even Lee’s burial site at Washington and Lee University in Lexington, Va. — where he served as president after the war — has changed. The university decided to focus on Lee the civilian rather than Lee the general, for example by moving a prominent portrait of him in uniform. And it constructed a wall to enclose the large sculpture of Lee that once claimed an insistent place in the university’s chapel.

Covering this story over the past few years, I’ve come to realize two things. First, when a monument disappears without a ceremony to mark why it is coming down, a community has no chance to recognize that it has itself changed. (Ideally the ceremony is public, but because of safety concerns, the melting I attended was not.) Second, if you are outraged that something’s happening to your community’s heroic statue of Lee, you’re not going to be any less outraged if the statue is moved to some hidden storeroom than if it’s thrown into a landfill. So if all changes, large or small, will be resisted, why not go for the ones with the most symbolic resonance?

That’s why the idea to melt Lee down, as violent as it might initially seem, struck me as so apt. Confederate monuments went up with rich, emotional ceremonies that created historical memory and solidified group identity. The way we remove them should be just as emotional, striking and memorable. Instead of quietly tucking statues away, we can use monuments one final time to bind ourselves together into new communities.

...

When the remaining legal barriers were cleared (including a last-minute lawsuit that sought to have the statue reassembled), Lee was finally ready to surrender to the furnace. The foundryman turned on the propane supply and laid Lee’s sword across the hole in the lid. He told the spectators that the metal had to get hot enough to release any moisture before he maneuvered it down through the hole into the crucible.

When he did, its blade stuck up out of the furnace for a moment, then melted down “like a stick of butter,” as Dr. Schmidt put it.

Lee’s face was the last piece to go into the crucible. Given how often the monument and its ideals were celebrated with flames — from Klansmen’s torches to the tiki torches of white nationalists in 2017 — it seemed fitting for flames to close over the monument.

...

Dr. Douglas, Swords Into Plowshares’ other co-founder, apologized that the ceremony could not be public. She thanked those in attendance, telling us we were witnessing it on behalf of Charlottesville’s residents, including those long gone who lived under slavery. Someday, she said, when we think of Civil War heroes, we will imagine not Lee but, instead, those who fought for their freedom against him.

The man in the protective visor dropped the red-hot piece of metal that once represented Lee on the ground. It fell to pieces, which he fed into the crucible. A line of cameras faced him, making new images of history as the old image finally disappeared in flames.

- Erin Thompson, "The Most Controversial Statue in America Surrenders to the Furnace." New York Times. October 24, 2023. Photo by Eze Amos.

[pumpkincarriage3]

Crewel Divus Character Analysis

Ah, yes, the BDSM teacher. Sorry Crewel fans, that's exactly what he is (joking). Or maybe that's why people really like him? Besides his appealing character design?

In all seriousness, I say that, but I feel like it's actually more of a unique quirk that he has rather than the fact that it has anything to actually do with BDSM. Kinda like how Crowley unintentionally, or intentionally, makes quite a few bird puns here and there. And typically, when other characters talk about him, they also tend to make bird puns. Crewel probably just really likes dogs and can't stand being disrespected.

I say this, because even though Crewel will call his students mutts and all manner of different names, he does actually care for them. Whenever they are in actual trouble, he does try and lend a helping hand, and unlike some people, he doesn't ask for things in return. He probably just takes his job as a teacher very seriously.

And if you consider the fact that he teaches alchemy, our equivalent of chemistry, it's no wonder why he's so harsh on his students. If they make one mistake it could end with them in the hospital or dead. Because of that he's really harsh on them. Which fits, because he doesn't want them to like him, he wants them to listen.

Which is why he can be pretty patronizing. Where in cases he'll give students tasks where they can "attempt" to get out of detention for not listening to the lesson, even though he knows most of those tasks are impossible unless the student was paying attention. And if the student was paying attention they wouldn't have made the mistake to begin with. So more often than not, the student will get a really harsh punishment, even if the mistake seems small to them.

The students simultaneously fear and respect him in this manner. I guarantee that if Crewel went on the masquerade trip instead of Trien, they wouldn't be joking around and asking the man about his make-out stories with his lover in dark tunnels. Because they would be too nervous to joke around in such a manner with him. For as much as Crewel calls the students by various nicknames, he keeps a strictly professional relationship with them.

But he does love his students. One can tell because he does call them dogs, even if it isn't said in an affectionate manner. Because Crewel does love dogs, so him calling his students such is his backwards way of showing affection. It just happens to have the added benefit of keeping the students in line as well.

And he loves his job and what he does. This is obvious by the events he can be found in helping out the students with various task. Where he guides them in the "right direction". Or as right as a villain school is going to be. Malleus, in the little alchemy lessons, says that while Crewel is peculiar, he is also an expletory teacher. And this is coming from Malleus, who excels in everything. This is a high compliment.

Crewel himself is also into high fashion. He loves it. It's why he where's the outfit that he does, even though he probably shouldn't be wearing his bulky coat in a lab. Or really be wearing a business suit in a lab either. This itself also shows how cocky he can be. Which might seem confusing. How does this show that he's cocky? Well, I'm sure that he's harsh on his students on lab safety, but he doesn't follow these same rules, in the name of fashion. He's cocky in the way that he thinks he can get away with wearing high fashion, in a lab, and have nothing happen because his skills are that great.

Sam himself mentions that Crewel is a hot-shot. Not surprising, considering the fact that Crewel also clearly loves high-end things in general, not just fashion. Seeing as classic cars is his hobbies, this is another confirmation.

Though, this could imply one of two things. That Crewel is paid a really good salary, or he comes from a family with money. I'm leaning more towards him coming from a family with money, since in the fairy-gala event, Ruggie's Vignette, shows Crewel allowing them to use old heirlooms as jewelry. 

And while heirlooms are bound to be expensive, they are also precious. And Crewel just allows them to use it for this instance, going into a garden full of faires that are known to be petty if things go south. Even if he expects them back at the end, the fact that he's letting them use them shows about the same nonchalance as Kalim has on sharing his family heirlooms. Then there was the fact that he was able to get the fabric and make the outfits, high quality clothes, in such a short period of time. Not once did he complain or show concern for the cost. So, he probably has money to spend.

Though, with as much as Crewel loves fashion, it makes it interesting that he chose to teach alchemy instead of becoming a fashion designer. Possibly, that just means Crewel loves alchemy or teaching more.

[alterspark]

I want to talk about my memories as Ravage.

Memories regarding Soundwave and.... Megatron. This makes my feelings about him even more complicated. I won't talk about it now but if you've seen my other posts you might know I am also Cyclonus and Starscream. The latter definitely makes things..... Hard to process. I had an angsty draft that I wrote when I was heavily shifted as him [Starscream], but I've decided not to post it. Might never, might do it later. I haven't decided yet.

Anyway that's not what I wanted to talk about right now, this post is about Ravage's memories. They are very interesting, definitely cannon divergent. I was Megatron's greatest advisor, and I think I know why. In a world that was controlled by a functionalist government for so long it's no surprise that bots still hold onto some stereotypes. One of them is that minicons, especially minicons with beast modes and/or no robot mode, are less than Cybertonian or not as sentient.

Everyone expects Megatron's advisor to be Shockwave, Soundwave or any other bots high in command, no one expects a cassette. We were only seen as a expendable part of Soundwave. Which is obviously not true. After all I knew things no other bot did, not even him. Most of them I told Megatron, some I took to the grave. And our leader too has told me things I will never forget, things I don't think he has ever said out loud before. I know him deeper than anyone, not even the Prime himself, not any of his loyal Decepticons. No, no there are things those poor fools will never be aware of, some things I will never tell for the safety of everyone.

Aside from a spy and secret keeper I was also a great strategist. I helped plan most of the battles although it was usually via Megatron or Soundwave, no one would listen to me other wise. I'd climb up onto their shoulders and whisper in their audial something along the lines of: "don't send the soldiers that way, the cliffs will trap them from both sides and the Autobots will easily slaughter them from up above". And then they would listen, they would always listen if it wasn't me speaking, so called Decepticons holding onto old ways, what a joke.

I was obviously a good fighter myself, a lot more stealthy than any of the others, my claws and teeth knew how to rip and tear through metal like it was butter. But I preferred to use my mind when fighting, to plan an attack that would be deadly rather than to run into battle blindly. I always tried to kill efficiently, quickly but not too quick as to make sure the odds are in my favour. Very often I'd fight in a group with Soundwave, I gave him manoeuvring orders and he executed them perfectly, courtesy of the strong amica spark bond we had, it was a powerful tool that we used often to communicate non verbally.

And it was also important to us emotionally. I'll be honest I don't remember the other cassettes that much.... But I'm sure they were there... I think. I want them to be there, it doesn't feel right that there's only me and Soundwave. I definitely remember him. One of the first memories I got as Ravage was him, holding me gently as we were recharging. We were family, he was so important to me, more important than anyone else, even Megatron. And just as Megatron did he would tell me things he's never told anyone. I was his confidant, a stable place of comfort to come back to when things got bad. And he did need help, everyone no matter how tough they look or act are just a sparkling on the inside, and sparklings can't survive by themselves. We depended on eachother like two sides of a coin, we were inseparable.

Oh how I mourn no longer being able to feel our bond. There are so many things I struggle with in this life and I know if he was here he would sit down with me and talk. Cuddling me in his servos as he nods along with my emotional rambling. Most of my memories are like that, glimpses of me comforting Soundwave or vice versa, little moments of peace when we weren't needed on the battlefield. I miss him. I hope the other cassettes were okay. I've already lost so much as Starscream, I don't want to loose more. I know the feeling of a spark bond breaking, I wish I didn't. I hope only one of my past lives had to endure that pain, I hope at least in one universe I got to have a happy ending.