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shihalyfie · 2 years

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Let’s talk about Digimon Savers and its themes

Savers is kind of an “awkward middle child” in terms of the Digimon franchise, being Digimon’s first attempt at shattering a ton of precedents set by Adventure through Frontier but also not being quite as unconventional as later entries would be, and being in the unfortunate position where most childhood Digimon fans had outgrown the target age range but weren’t adults yet. It’s also got a lot of factors that make it difficult to market, since it’s relatively restrained and not particularly in-your-face with a lot of its elements compared to following entries like Xros Wars or Appmon, meaning that it tends to slip under the radar and not be discussed in that much extensive detail even among the hardcore Digimon fanbase. Because of that, I personally feel like any intimate discussion of its themes and characters tends to be woefully oversimplified -- it’s generally understood by most to be somewhat about xenophobia, but beyond that most of it involves memes about Masaru punching things because he’s apparently superhuman (which is absolutely not how the series actually portrays him in context), so I’d like to do something about that!

Savers is probably the most overtly political of all the Digimon series released to date -- while it’s hardly unusual for a Digimon series to have social commentary elements, they’re usually more aimed at more personal social issues and especially those that impact children, whereas Savers just goes ahead and rips into the problems with political systems and power structures, how they enable conflict at the expense of ordinary people, how “preconceived notions” come from those power structures instead of being based off actual truth, and how -- most importantly -- people willing to understand each other through their differences leads to greater things.

Given that, what are the main points brought up in Savers from a theme perspective?

“Hate”

The definition of “hate” here isn’t the “let’s all try to love and not hate each other” general meaning, but rather “hate” in the context of “hate crime” and “hate campaign”. It’s when you make condescending hatred of other things into your entire brand. It’s when you build your entire motive off of hatred of others. And it’s why major antagonists like Kurata and Yggdrasil are hypocritical and contradictory -- it’s not that they’re lying about their hatred and disgust towards Digimon and humans (respectively), it’s that everything boils down to hating and looking down on everything that’s not themselves.

Why doesn’t Kurata have a sympathetic backstory? Because this is how people in these kinds of campaigns often work in real life. It’s not always about some tragic sympathetic backstory that turns people to evil. And it’s not even like Kurata is the only one to feel this way; look at all the people he recruited under his thumb who seemed to be totally fine with Digimon slaughter. Even on the Digimon end, you see ones like Gotsumon (who may have reason to hate humans, but it’s too obvious his real priorities are kissing up to authority and picking whatever’s the winning side, which is apparent even after his memories are wiped) and Yggdrasil (who mostly works on the pretense of saving the Digital World, but is actually a control freak who’s most intent on exercising absolute power over the Digital World by any means necessary). It could have been anyone. Kurata was just the first. And Kurata didn’t need any special kind of charisma to get people to follow him -- he just needed the right connections in the government, to appeal to other conceited and condescending people (Kouki and Nanami), to appeal to people’s personal loyalty outweighing their morality (Ivan), or even outright blackmail (Tohma).

Go look at politicians and ardent right-wingers who paint themselves as supporting violence for a just cause, and you’ll see that Kurata is yet another one of those plucked right out of reality (right down to the “both sides” rhetoric often employed to force false devil’s advocate views). Everyone points out the hypocrisy that he chooses to merge with a Digimon despite claiming to despise them himself, but, again, that’s all true for these kinds of self-centered people in real life, who conveniently tweak their agendas for what’s all just self-serving greed. Even Kurata himself genuinely doesn’t seem to understand how anyone can have a mentality of not being the most ambitious kind of person possible -- chasing “ambition” is what strong people do.

In his dying moments in episode 25, Mercurimon warns Ikuto not to become like this. Note that he doesn’t tell Ikuto to not hate anyone -- but rather, to not make “hatred of something” his entire creed and reason for fighting, and to focus that hatred only on the ones who merit it. If Ikuto’s going to have an emotion like hatred, it needs to still all be in the name of the right thing to do, not just blowing it up at everyone else for the sake of being entitled to getting to hate others. That’s why Mercurimon points out Masaru and the others who helped and supported Ikuto specifically; is it right or healthy to spend your life or energy on broadly picking things to hate instead of focusing on why you hate those specific people who wronged you?

In many ways, Ikuto embodies the hell of the immigrant child experience -- being born a human but near entirely raised in the Digital World, he faces both sides actively trying to consider him “not one of us”, but as Sayuri (episode 23) and Mercurimon (episode 25) point out, Ikuto is someone who can understand both perspectives in many ways due to his unique position. Ikuto is encouraged to return to the human world not because that’s necessarily the “right” place to be, but because with Yukidarumon and Mercurimon both dead, the Noguchi family is the one place where they actively want to provide him with a new familial support system and to make up for the time lost with him. And, after all, what’s most important to all of us is our connections with those who are around us and supporting us. (More on this below!)

Even with the Ruin Mode incident in episodes 34-35, Masaru isn’t given grief for understandably being mad at Tohma’s apparent betrayal, but rather the fact he went so far into bloodlust that he made “beating the hell out of Tohma” the priority far over what his intent for beating up Tohma was for, therefore causing Agumon (ShineGreymon) to get indirectly hurt in the process.

The hell of government bureaucracy, systematic evils, and preconceived notions

Savers is unique in that it’s the only Digimon series (so far) to cover such a wide age range of major characters, from young children to old man Yushima, and that’s because it’s the series that covers topics that have to do with “the adult’s world” (that is to say, wide-spanning societal things that are often out of reach for a child) rather than being issues more personally relevant to children at school. DATS is a government agency, and while its developments and infrastructure are important for providing assistance and support for the protagonists throughout the story, they are by no means saintlike and said characters are forced to contend with a lot of other things enforced by a system that doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings -- it enlists elementary school aged children for bonding with Digimon (which almost happens to Chika in episode 12 and is implied to have already happened for Yoshino in episodes 12 and 17), and it has the classic problem of the higher-ups’ orders being enforced no matter how much it actually makes sense. Even Satsuma being a bit obtuse at the beginning (forcing Masaru and Tohma to work together for no good reason despite how much they hated each other at the time) ends up paling in comparison to how “not my problem” Hashiba gets in episodes 13-14, and suddenly Satsuma seems like a godsend for being able to game the bureaucracy system of the higher-ups on DATS’ behalf -- especially when Kurata exploits said system and Hashiba in episode 26 to gain support for his Digimon genocide plan.

DATS (and the government behind it) isn’t an ominous cartoonish council of evil, and it’s easy to understand why their presence is necessary -- Yggdrasil even gives humanity credit for forming DATS in episode 39 -- but it’s also responsible for enabling much of the conflict by ultimately prioritizing bureaucratic standards and the chain of hierarchy, complete with being willing to enable downright inhumane things in the process.

(Those having doubts about whether being critical of the government is really part of the series should take a quick peek at head writer Yamaguchi Ryouta’s Twitter and see just how much of it is dedicated to ripping the Japanese government and the LDP apart for their handling of practically every political issue imaginable.)

The final arc often brings up the topic of “unlimited potential” and defying the concept of “calculations” with the power of emotions. What this actually means is, more implicitly, that “rules” and “restrictions” and preconceived notions about what you can and can’t do are often enforced by people who are too narrow-minded, or have an interest in limiting others. In particular, Craniummon keeps defaulting to hiding behind his supposedly impenetrable shield in episode 44 because he has such absolute faith in it to protect him that he uses it as a default fallback -- so it's no surprise that taking enough of a repeated battering from the group's Digimon attacks (and one final punch from Masaru to finish it off) throws him off.

Even DATS feeds a bit of propaganda about Digimon to Masaru at the beginning (that Digimon can only eat special Digimon food, which Masaru believes for a while only to find that it’s very false). There’s nobody in this narrative who knows the right answer to anything, especially because the influence of humans and Digimon being together is such a wild card. What ultimately defeats Yggdrasil is not one of the Ultimates or Ultimate Burst Modes, but a powered-up Child-level Agumon, breaking preconceived notions about the system -- because, again, preconceived notions about how the level system works or what constitutes more powerful than what were all decided by these self-interested systems and narrow-minded ways of thinking to begin with. Nobody ever tried any of this before.

Those in power who exploit the people

Because much of the final arc of the series revolves around Yggdrasil’s status as an apparent “god” and the phrase “God is not absolute”, it’s easy to think that Savers is mainly just attacking the concept of organized religion (and to be fair, that probably is one of the things under the umbrella of what it’s discussing), but in actuality Yggdrasil’s way of acting “in the interests of” the Digital World is effectively comparable to any kind of authoritarian government or organized body that claims to work on behalf of the people but is actually working in their own self-interest. The group points out in episode 46 that Yggdrasil’s decisions of what “deserves to live” is basically just it making things up by its own rules and deciding things selfishly (especially because it decides to “test” Suguru and BanchouLeomon on a whim by holding Suguru’s body hostage and knowingly tormenting Masaru about it).

Yggdrasil continues to claim in episode 47 that it’s totally doing everything in the Digimon’s best interest, that it’s respecting their feelings of resentment by destroying the human world as revenge, but when the actual Digimon and humans get a say in the matter, it turns out...most of them are not genocidal like Kurata nor bloodthirsty like Yggdrasil, and would prefer to live in peace. (Now think back on any politician who’s justified war on the grounds of “well, they attacked us first!” and frame this as being in the best interests of people who never actually asked for it.) Even an “edge case” like the memory-wiped Gotsumon, who still blatantly has a kiss-up “fighting for the strongest side” mentality, still says in episode 47 that he wants a world where humans and Digimon can coexist. And, really, almost every Digimon Masaru and his friends met in the Digital World came around eventually to acknowledging that at least some humans are cool. Perhaps unsurprisingly, not a lot of people tend to be on board with genocide, no matter how many leaders claim to be acting in their best interest.

In the end, for a brief moment in episode 48, we see that Yggdrasil, the Digital World’s “god”, is really nothing but a fragile figurehead, something that surrounded itself in layers of defense and pulled all the powerful strings at its disposal to exert its force on what it considered right and wrong -- but in the end, it’s nothing. It’s a pathetic little thing that just happened to be in the right position of power to force everyone to do what it wanted, a control freak that throws a petty hissy fit and a tantrum when things don’t go the way it likes and looks down on people trying to do things it deems “close to impossible”. It’s arguably even questionable whether Yggdrasil really was a “god” in the first place, as much as it was a computer that convinced everyone that it should be treated as a god because of its authority -- Masaru calls it out in episode 47 saying that any “deity” who toys with its subjects’ lives like that has no right to call itself a god, and in episode 48, Gotsumon doesn’t refer to the loss of Yggdrasil in terms of actually losing a god, but in terms of the societal upheaval the loss of such a high figurehead would cause.

The most important thing we have is each other

Episode 37 has Ikuto call Kurata out for not having any friends, and while this can easily be taken as a simple “power of friendship” statement, it’s also a statement about what it’s like to be a person who refuses to make friends and only wallows in selfish greed. This concept is also what lies at the core of every provided answer to how to combat hate campaigns: mutual support and love, choosing to work with others instead of playing a game of who’s the most superior, is what wins out over people sustaining themselves on hatred and distrust ultimately coming out with no allies, no support, and nobody to help them when they’re at rock bottom. It sounds cheesy to say it, but it really is true! Tohma went and betrayed Kurata (episode 36) the moment he was free of Kurata’s blackmail; Kurata never really managed to cultivate any concept of true loyalty among his followers, because everyone there was selfish.

Yggdrasil tries to make its final case in episode 48: if humans and Digimon continue to interact, conflict is inevitable -- but Agumon responds that it’s all worth it. “We can’t learn to appreciate each other if we’re scared of getting hurt.” It’s true that conflict may seem inevitable when you put two very different things in contact, and it’s easy to think that this means you should keep everything separate for its own safety. But exposure to other things broadens your horizons and teaches you about new things you hadn’t considered before, allowing you to break out of your narrow-minded view of the world, and accomplish unprecedented things together. As is said over and over and over again throughout the entirety of the last arc: humans and Digimon can accomplish together what they wouldn’t be able to individually.

In fact, episode 48 makes the strongest assertion of Savers’ theses as a whole:

Masaru: It's true that we fight a lot over stupid things, and sometimes we even hate each other. From your point of view, we might have evolved in the wrong direction. But...! Agumon: Human emotions...make us Digimon stronger! Masaru: And the Digimon...give us both dreams and courage!

Those new horizons are expanded by presences like Ikuto (born a human but raised in the Digital World) or DATS’ Digimon (born as Digimon but raised in the human world), and eventually the DATS members themselves, especially Masaru, plus everyone adjacent to them like Chika and Sayuri. So even if it hurts, and even if you’re risking conflict, even if conflict seems inevitable, it’s important to appreciate the value in each other’s differences and to work together to create something new. Not just between things as different as humans and Digimon, but between all of each other -- as evidenced by the fact that what eventually stops the dimensional collision is not any calculated scientific discovery nor a brutal act like wiping out one world, nor the single act of any powerful figurehead, but the power of everyone’s emotions and feelings of wanting to live together in peace and understand each other.

The most important thing we have is each other.

Extra: Let’s talk about Masaru for a second and why he’s not some kind of superhuman

Look, making memes is fun. Masaru is an amazing character, and I completely get why it’s fun to make memes about him being some kind of incredible superhuman who can break impenetrable shields and punch gods, and I’ve even seen people claim that Savers is “very Shonen Jump” on the grounds that Masaru will whip out amazing superhuman powers above the others’ pay grade out of nowhere. (Is this even true for most Shonen Jump series?) I get that it’s funny and I really don’t want to ruin anyone’s fun, but there’s a certain point it really bothers me, because reducing Masaru’s achievements to strange superhuman abilities does a disservice to Savers’ themes, ignores the point of Masaru’s character, and moreover disregards the original context these scenes were placed in.

Other than punching Digimon on the regular obviously requiring a lot of physical stamina, Masaru’s not actually that special in terms of physical abilities. In fact, Yoshino demonstrates in episode 48 that she can reap the benefits of extra physical strength from manifesting DigiSoul if she really wants to. And Masaru shattering Craniummon’s supposedly impenetrable shield (episode 44) and punching Yggdrasil (episode 48) are not statements about him as it is about the actual frailty of what he was dealing with. In the case of Craniummon’s shield, the episode itself made it very clear that the shield was already giving way from the stress of repeated attack after attack from the other Digimon, and in the case of Yggdrasil, the whole point was that it was ultimately nothing but a shallow, fragile figurehead relying on giant shows of power to have any influence, one that Masaru could punch out easily (and as I stated earlier, calling Yggdrasil a “god” might be questionable in the first place, despite its self-styling). If you really wanted to portray Masaru as that amazingly superhuman, you could have had him destroy the 7D6 terminal or something, but having that little frail crystalline figure coming out had a very good reason behind it.

Masaru is Savers’ protagonist because of his mentality. He’s the one that does the honors with all the above punches because facing things in combat head-on is his style. He has no respect for the arbitrary enforcements of authority structures described above, adhering to his own moral code -- a strange one that has very specific definitions of “manliness” that comes from overapplying what his dad taught him as a kid -- but nevertheless one that’s probably closer to the right track than the power structures he’s often up against (or even technically part of, in the case of DATS). So much that Yushima comments as early as episode 2 that “the human world is too small for him” (or in other words, that the “Digimon world”, both in the figurative sense of getting involved in tackling Digimon incidents and in the literal sense when Masaru decides to join the Digimon in the Digital World in episode 48, was arguably a better fit for him to begin with). It’s also the reason Suguru got as far as he did, since Masaru got those open-minded traits from him to begin with, but Masaru is tasked by Suguru with surpassing him (episodes 35, 46).

The other extreme that I warn against pigeonholing Masaru into is that just because he punches things doesn’t mean he’s a violent kid with no respect for anything. As we see very often throughout the series, he respects his mother (he even snaps at Agumon multiple times for calling Sayuri by her given name only instead of anything respectful), understands his role as a surrogate parent for Chika (especially in episode 7), and doesn’t start fights against people unless they’re either causing trouble for others (i.e. endangering others) or when the other party is also interested in a fight and wants to do equal combat. (It’s also pointed out in episode 3 that there are fights he’s not good at; he does poorly in the more rule-bound, structured kind of combat that boxing entails, and is easily defeated by Tohma.) He also treats his friend Kouichirou (from episode 10) with kindness and seems to get along well with him, and becomes personally invested in the family's troubles for reasons that are blatantly not to do with the manjuu at this point, evidenced by the fact he briefly touches his dog tag, clearly empathizing with Kouichirou's admiration for his dad by thinking of his own. Masaru may be rough around the edges, disrespectful of authority, and a go-getter who prefers to do things hands-on, but he’s still someone with a strong sense of doing the right thing and caring for the people around him. In fact, every time Masaru begs for more power, it’s so that he can have the power to protect others he cares about (episodes 13, 37-38).

Most tellingly, given that the Bio-Hybrid trio is meant as foils to our main one (Nanami as a “genius” who’s conceited about her status instead of humble as Tohma is, Ivan as someone who prioritizes personal loyalty and “just wants to get by” but is willing to engage in literal genocide for it), Kouki is a foil to Masaru in that he’s bloodthirsty and violent but doesn’t have Masaru’s capacity for wanting to protect others, simply happening to be a bully who looks down on others and enjoys sadistically crushing them. Naturally, Masaru has no patience for that at all, and he and ShineGreymon spend the duration of episode 33 conversely trying to minimize as much damage as possible as they fight -- they’re doing this because they care.

#digimon #digimon savers #shihameta

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dostoyevsky-official · 2 years

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Central Asia to suffer as remittances from Russia nosedive

Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan, two of the most migrant-dependent countries in the world, will be most severely affected by the expected fall in remittances sent from Russia, World Bank data published on March 4 suggests.

[...] In Kyrgyzstan, remittances totaled the equivalent of 31.3 percent of GDP in 2020. In Tajikistan, the figure was 26.7 percent.

Uzbekistan also sends millions of migrant workers to Russia, but its economy is less dependent on their remittances, which were equivalent to 11.6 percent of GDP in 2020. Nevertheless, the World Bank predicts a 21 percent decline. Some 55 percent of Uzbekistan’s remittances come from Russia.

[...] Currency markets across Central Asia are already reeling from the collapse in the ruble, which is devaluing the remittances hard-working migrants send home to feed their families.

Tajikistan: Ruble collapse taking tolls on living standards

Sharipov, a father of three children, had managed over years working in Russia to accumulate 265,000 rubles that he had intended to put toward a mortgage on an apartment in Dushanbe. At the start of this year, that nest-egg was worth about $3,500 and 40,000 Tajik somoni.

“In mid-March, I was thinking of going to Russia to work so I could send money home to pay off the [mortgage] debt,” he said. Sharipov wanted his children to live in the capital and get a good education.

So they wouldn’t be like me, I can barely speak Russian,” he told Eurasianet. “If I knew any other languages, I would earn more.”

That dream is dead for the foreseeable future.

[...] This week, several Russian airlines announced that they were suspending international flights, including those to Tajikistan used by seasonal migrant laborers. [...] Spring is traditionally the time of year when many Tajiks set off for Russia to take jobs on construction sites. As of March 9, at least 30 weekly routes between Russia and Tajikistan have been terminated.

[...] “Due to the sanctions against Russia, many international companies are unable to transfer money to Tajikistan. Our banks are strongly linked with Russia. Therefore, there are no dollars, and the National Bank does not want to convert a currency with a higher value,” a Dushanbe-based financial expert told Eurasianet on condition of anonymity.

Tidal wave of austerity crashing against Tajikistan as Russian economy nears precipice

Tajikistan relies on imports for much of its staple needs. Car fuel prices are the most visible indicator of the predicament. Prices sometimes change from hour to hour.

[...] This sudden inflationary spiral is all happening downstream from Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. International sanctions against Russia have caused a collapse in the value of the ruble, which has in turn heavily depreciated the value of remittances sent home by Tajik migrant laborers in Russia. The performance of the somoni is also tied to the fate of the ruble.

Certain groceries have increased by 30 percent in price.

[...] The population is unlikely to get much support from the government, as earlier economic crises in 2008, 2014 and 2020 have shown.

[...] Zafar Abdullayev, one of many former journalists forced into self-imposed exile by the government’s repression of free media, said Tajiks will now face a period of profound austerity.

“There will be few vitamins in people’s diet, less meat, less fruit, less medicine, and so on. Surviving, just surviving. This is going to be survival, not life,” said Abdullayev, who used to own the Avesta news agency and is now based in the United States.

In contrast with nearby, similarly Russian crisis-affected nations like Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan, the government in Tajikistan has not made any indication it is shaping an anti-crisis plan.

[...] “[It] will have a very long-lasting negative effect. The government of Tajikistan should not imagine that the crisis can simply be waited out and that everything will be as before,” he said. “Neighboring countries that are economically dependent on Russia will need to look for new sources of economic growth and new external partners in order to survive in this new reality.”

Central Asia frets as Russia suspends grain, sugar exports

Member states of the Eurasian Economic Union, or EAEU, which comprise Armenia, Belarus, Kazakhstan, and Kyrgyzstan, will be deprived of the opportunity to import wheat, rye, barley, and corn from Russia until that designated date. Officials in Moscow insist that Russia currently has stocks of grain well in excess of its needs, but that the temporary prohibition has been instituted in part to prevent the re-export of crops to third countries.

Last year, Kazakhs increased their volume of grain purchases from Russia by 77 percent, or around 2.3 million tons, coming behind only Turkey and Egypt as the main global buyers of Russian grain. Industry insiders say the real volume may be even greater, as official Russian data does not account for transactions made in the gray economy.

The grain harvest in Kazakhstan was especially bad last year as the result of an extended period of drought.

[...] The business community is sensing longer-term issues in this situation. Writing on his Facebook account, Yerzhan Yesimkhanov, a partner at the Almaty-based law firm Grata International, said Kazakhstan’s “logistical network has been destroyed” because so many of the country’s imports passed through Russia. Deficits for many goods could be looming for Kazakhstan too, he said.

As the national currency, the tenge, loses value, the cost of imported goods will rise, businesses will fold, and a concomitant “drop in the standard of living of the population” will follow, Yesimkhanov said, adding that the government had not presented “a coherent program to address these problems.”

[...] A trickle-down effect is bound to be felt in Kyrgyzstan. More than 90 percent of the country’s wheat imports are from Kazakhstan and Russia. While Kyrgyzstan produced almost 363,000 tons of its own wheat in 2021, it imported almost 125,000 tons from Russia.

Kazakhstan restricts export of foreign currency and gold

There has been insistent but not well-documented chatter among financial market insiders across Central Asia of vast volumes of hard currency flowing out of the region toward Russia, and of commensurately large amounts of rubles flowing in the opposite direction. This decision by Kazakhstan looks intended in part to prevent the kind of currency speculation those flows appear to imply.

The tenge has fallen in value against the dollar by 20 percent since Russia invaded Ukraine, dropping from 428 around that period to 511 as of March 15. The consequences are going to be felt keenly by Kazakhstan’s population as prices for imported food, clothing and household appliances surge. Inflation in February rose by 8.7 percent year-on-year, easily missing the government’s 4-6 percent target.

#central asia

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queenshelby · 3 years

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The Maid – Part One of Three

Featuring: Tommy Shelby x Virgin!Reader

Words: 5095

Warning: Smut

Summary: It was Sunday Evening and you working at a nightclub in London. This was your first job and today you were to meet an interesting man who would make you a job offer that you couldn’t refuse. When you took up the job with him, you got so much more than you bargained for.

Tag List:

@lilymurphy03 @deefigs @theflamecrystal @chrisevanshoeee @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @captivatedbycillianmurphy @fookingshelby @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall @elenavampire21 @hanster1998 @mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-my-sunflower

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Meeting a Stranger

‘Good Evening Sir, may I get you a drink?’ you asked as you looked up into his deep blue eyes.

‘Whiskey. Irish please’ the man said without looking at you as he lit himself a cigarette.

It was unusual for men in this establishment not to make eye contact. It was almost like he was disinterested in his surroundings.

When he lifted up his whiskey glass, you noticed his wedding band. Of course, he was married and here to cheat on his wife.

She probably no longer satisfied his needs. But what did you know? Being 19 years old and rather shy, you had never been with a man.

It wasn’t long until the mistress arrived at the bar which also was unusual. He must be a special guest if the mistress herself was taking the time to talk to him.

‘Mr Shelby, I apologise, but Laura is absent tonight. Clara might be of interest’ the mistress said.

‘Not Clara. Someone new’ he responded.

‘Of course. I will make arrangements’ the mistress said before excusing herself.

Just as the mistress had left, the man ordered a second glass of whiskey.

‘Your name is Shelby?’ you asked surprised as you served him. ‘Are you related to Thomas Shelby by any chance?’ you added.

Without a response, he finally looked up at you. His eyes widened and his facial expression changed, almost like he had seen a ghost.

‘Is everything alright?’ you asked as you didn’t receive a response to your question.

‘You remind me of someone I used to know’ he responded. ‘You just look like her’ he added.

‘So I’ve been told. It’s a shame I never got to meet her’ you said, knowing exactly that he was talking about your half sister Greta Jurossi.

Greta and her mother passed away of consumption before you were born. Your father became very upset by their passing and found comfort in your mother who he fathered two children with. You were the oldest.

Your half-sister Kitty Jurossi spoke about Thomas Shelby quite frequently as the love of Greta’s life. They had been together since they were 16 and you know that he left for France shortly after Greta passed at the age of 19.

Just as Tommy introduced himself to you and began asking you questions, the mistress returned and advised Tommy that arrangements had been made.

‘I changed my mind’ Tommy said. ‘Although, I would like Miss Jerossi to accompany me. I will cover her wages for the night’ Tommy said, causing your heart to skip a beat.

‘Mr Shelby, I am afraid to inform you that she has no experience. She is not one of our working girls. She is simply a barmaid. Although, if you insist and this is something you wish to explore further, we could perhaps come to some to an arrangement’ the mistress said.

You were speechless and felt like you were auctioned off to the highest bidder.

‘I am not intending to fuck her. I would simply like to continue our conversation, eh’ Tommy said sheepishly, catching the mistress by surprise.

‘This should be enough for her time and for you to put another barmaid on for the evening’ he added as he handed her 10 pounds.

‘Of course, Mr Shelby, thank you’ the mistress said before telling you to get your coat.

You grabbed your coat and met Tommy at the front of the club. Just as you arrived, he had lid himself a cigarette.

‘Common’ he said before you followed him to his car.

‘Where are we going?’ you asked. You were still slightly uncomfortable about the situation unfolding right in front of you.

‘A place I know’ he said as he drove off and, within ten minutes, you pulled up in front of a nightclub of a different kind. It was full of artists, a band was playing in the background and everyone enjoyed champaign and cocaine.

‘Common, have a seat’ Tommy said as he sat down with you in a somewhat private area.

He ordered you a drink and began to talk about Greta, his long-lost love. You were still unsure why you were there, with him. Whilst he asked you several questions about your life and your circumstances, it was mostly him who was doing the talking.

After several hours of talking, on the stroke of midnight, Tommy made you a proposal which was too good to refuse.

He offered you a job in Birmingham, as a maid. Apparently, his household was short-staffed and his wife needed more assistance. He was of the view that working in an up-market brothel as a barmaid was no job for a woman like you. Somehow, he didn’t know you, but he cared. He was concerned that, the longer you work there, the more likely it will become that you be asked to do more than just serve drinks.

His offer was kind and you accepted it with caveat that you had no experience as a maid.

He assured you that you will learn all you need to know on the job.

New Life

A week after your encounter with Thomas Shelby, your new life began.

You were introduced to the household and tried the best you could to settle in.

Most days, you were on your own with the other maids, Elizabeth Shelby, who was Tommy’s wife and Tommy’s two children.

Tommy’s wife Lizzie disliked you for obvious reasons. She insisted on older and experienced maids and it was evident to her why Tommy had hired you.

For a while you tried very hard to make Lizzie like you, but nothing took away the apprehension she had in respect of you.

Whilst you could understand her concerns, Tommy had never made any advances towards you. After all, you were much younger than him.

But, over the next few weeks, you learned why Lizzie was so apprehensive. Her marriage to Tommy was on the verge of breaking.

According to Sarah, one of the maids, Tommy and Lizzie were no longer sleeping in the same bedroom and she overheard Lizzie speaking to a solicitor in London to ascertain what her options were if she was to divorce him.

Sarah was of the view that there is no love between Tommy and Lizzie. There never has been.

Lizzie enjoyed the life and the money. Apparently, she used to be a working girl in Birmingham and this is how she met Tommy.

They used to sleep together, quite frequently, until one day she fell pregnant. When Tommy became a member of parliament, he married her. Clearly, he had to appear to be doing the right thing in a position like that.

Sarah herself had her eyes on Tommy and was the only other young maid who managed to stay. For some reason not apparent to you, Lizzie tolerated her. Perhaps she knew too much. After all, one of the reasons maids stayed at the Shelby household was because they were paid well, much better than in other households. Sarah was one of the few maids who had access to Thomas Shelby’s office and it was likely that she had to put a blind eye on the illegal activities Thomas Shelby engaged in.

Every Thursday Evening at 8 o’clock, Sarah would go to Tommy’s office and she would be there for an hour exactly. You timed it, right to the second, every week.

One week, you managed to quietly pass by the office on a Thursday evening at half past eight and you could hear them being intimate.

To your surprise, despite their weekly encounters, Tommy was cold towards her. He didn’t treat her differently to any of the other maids. It appeared to you that the sex they have was no more than another business transaction for Tommy.

Whilst Tommy wasn’t around much, when he was, he was different with you. He was kind and warm in his own way. You were the youngest maid in the household and even Francis said that you get away with mistakes that aren’t usually tolerated because Mr Shelby seems to have soft spot for you. Sometimes, he would even smile at you and you began to like him more than you should have liked a man his age. Sometimes, you even imagined what it would be like if it was you in Tommy’s office with him instead of Sarah.

To your surprise, after a month of you being at the Shelby house, Tommy started to call you into his office as well. You recalled the first time. It was a Tuesday evening, 8 o’clock and you were nervous.

Whilst you could imagine yourself sleeping with him, you had never been with a man before.

But, intimacy and sex was not what Tommy was after. He simply enjoyed your company and you would talk for hours, about horses, racing and politics.

Like a real gentleman, he kept his distance, offering you a drink and a cigarette while you talked and talking was all you ever did.

Sarah noticed reasonably quickly that your Tuesday night encounters with Tommy became a habit and once she even overheard you referring to him as Tommy as opposed to Mr Shelby.

Tommy insisted that you call him Tommy when you talked in private. It was not part of your work and he said that he felt old every time you called him ‘Mr Shelby’.

As another four weeks had passed, you could see the man within him who your step sister fell in love with and Kitty had spoken so highly about. He appeared to you every Tuesday evening at 8 o’clock, a different man.

Mistakes Happen

To Lizzie’s and Francis’s annoyance, you made many mistakes. Burnt toast was just one of them. But none of that bothered Tommy.

As it has happened, one day you even managed to break an incredibly expensive vase as you paid more attention to Tommy getting dressed through the crack of his bedroom door. It was a sheer accident which probably wouldn’t have happened if you paid more attention to what you were doing at the time rather than Tommy’s naked chest.

‘I am so sorry Mr Shelby, I didn’t mean to drop this’ you said, totally embarrassed and flustered as the vase dropped to the floor and, hearing the shatter, Tommy emerged from his bedroom.

‘It’s alright Y/N, seriously. It’s just a vase, eh’ Tommy said with a smile on his face as he bent over, helping you to collect the pieces.

‘Please Mr Shelby, I can do this’ you said with some embarrassment. Your cheeks were flushed by the sight of him, wearing nothing but his suit pants.

Tommy’s eyes gazed over to you as he picked up the pieces and it was clear to you that he noticed your flushed cheeks.

‘Tommy, what are you doing?’ Lizzie said as she observed him collecting pieces of broken porcelain with you from the floor.

‘What does it look like Lizzie?’ Tommy asked. It was clear to you that they were fighting, again. They always fought. Sometimes you wondered why they were married at all.

The constant arguing between Tommy and Lizzie was exhausting. It exhausted everyone, even the maids.

‘I’ve got it Mr Shelby, please’ you said as you put more pieces of the broken vase into a bucket.

‘See, she’s got it Tommy, now would you please see Arthur. He is downstairs yelling and Charles has started to pick up the swear words’ Lizzie said.

‘Alright Lizzie, fuck’ he said as he got up and left you to it. As you were cleaning up the last of the broken pieces, you overheard Lizzie talk to Ada about you.

‘I really don’t know why Thomas had to employ her instead of someone more experienced’ she said.

‘She looks exactly like Greta, his first ever love, that’s why Lizzie’ Ada responded.

‘Well then he should have left her at the whorehouse and visit her there’ Lizzie said frustrated before walking off.

Lizzie’s comment made you rather upset and you were beginning to feel even more uncomfortable at the house with every day that went by.

Lizzie had begun to notice Tommy’s favouritism towards you and it was clear to you that she did not want you around.

After another two weeks, you couldn’t bare it any longer and decided to resign. The tension between you and Lizzie had become too much to tolerate.

You handed your written resignation to Tommy at noon on a Monday and, just as he read it, he walked to his office door and closed it behind him.

‘Sit down Y/N, have a drink’ Tommy said, causing you to flush.

‘Common’ Tommy said as he poured yourself a glass of whiskey, neat, before sitting down on one of the arm chairs.

You sat down across from him as he handed you the glass of whiskey.

‘I cannot accept this’ he said as he took a sip from his glass.

‘Tommy, I cannot continue to work for you. I am not suited for this job and I am fairly sure that neither your wife nor Francis like me very much’ you explained.

‘That might be right but, in the end of the day, I make the decisions, eh’ Tommy said. ‘And I would like you to stay’ he added.

‘Why? You can easily find a better maid’ you laughed.

‘Because you are smart Y/N and I enjoy your company. Please’ Tommy said.

‘Alright, I will give it another month and then reconsider’ you said.

‘Good’ Tommy smiled. ‘I see you tomorrow at the usual time?’ he asked, causing you to nod with a smile.

It was difficult for you to deny Tommy especially since your attraction towards him was growing, becoming almost unhealthy in a way. Why would you feel like this around a man who was twice your age? You wanted him and stayed around in the hope that he would offer you more than employment.

And just like this, with Thomas Shelby in the back of your mind, you went on with your work.

It’s Fucking Tuesday

Tuesday evening approached quickly and you couldn’t wait to see Tommy.

At 8 o’clock, you sneaked into his office as usual, barefoot and without knocking so that no one would notice.

Little did you know that, that evening, you would reveal a lot more to Tommy than you had initially anticipated.

As such, after two glasses of whiskey and a couple of cigarettes, you spoke honestly about your political views. You too were in support of communism and felt as though Tommy had lost his way in his political campaigns for the Labour Party.

‘The good old cause, eh’ Tommy laughed after you outlined to him where the Labour Party went wrong in your opinion. ‘You know Y/N, you remind me of someone, someone who was just as idealistic and passionate about changing the world as you are’ he added.

‘I’ve been told that before, by my father. He used to get rather frustrated with us both’ you said.

‘Kitty said that you were idealistic and in favour of an armed revolution once yourself. But then she told me that all of this changed after the war. The same Tommy never came back from France. You had changed. But I am not sure if I am willing to believe that’ you added.

‘No one came back Y/N’ Tommy said. ‘The war changed everyone’ he added.

‘That is true but, I think that the Tommy she spoke so highly about many years ago is still in there somewhere. I’ve seen it. You are still a man with ideals and a man who cares, even if you don’t want to admit it. If you didn’t care, I wouldn’t be here’ you said as you walked over in front of where Tommy was sitting in order to fill up your glass of whisky.

For a moment, you placed your empty glass on to the desk besides him and kneeled down in front of him.

‘You are a good man, Tommy. A good man who does bad things sometimes where necessary and the world needs more men just like you’ you said before you leaned in and pressed your lips onto his.

Without the two glasses of whiskey, you would never have been able to build up the courage to do this, but there you were, kissing Thomas Shelby.

Tommy gave into the kiss for a moment, his lips dancing with yours but his hands not leaving his chair.

‘This is wrong Y/N’ Tommy said as your lips drifted apart.

‘Yes’ you said before pressing your lips back onto his for a short moment. ‘Yes, it is’ you added and, just in that moment, Tommy leaned forward caressing your face and returning the kiss.

This is what you wanted for so long, his lips on yours and your tongues exploring each other.

After about a minute, Tommy pulled away, looking into your dark eyes.

‘This is a bad idea Y/N’ Tommy said again, still cupping your face.

‘Well, then tell me that you don’t want me and I will leave right now’ you said.

‘I want you alright, but you are half my age’ Tommy said.

‘So what? You are Thomas Shelby, you can have whoever you want’ you said and, just like that, your hands reached for the buckle of his belt, undoing it slowly.

You could hear Tommy inhale deeply and knew exactly that he likes to be pleasured this way. You had never done any of this, but the working girls at the brothel spoke about it frequently. Sometimes, you saw them do it, in a quite corner of the club or the lavatories if the men liked to be watched.

‘Have you ever done this before?’ Tommy asked, looking down at you, his hand tangled in your hair. He could tell that you were nervous and completely out of your comfort zone.

You shook your head shyly and, as much as Tommy wanted to feel your mouth on his cock, he wanted you to feel entirely comfortable with what you were doing.

‘Come up’ he said, taking your hands and guiding you up towards him before pressing his lips onto yours for a passionate kiss.

‘You don’t want me to?’ you asked as you broke the kiss and Tommy buckled up his belt.

‘Trust me, I want you to’ Tommy smirked, cupping your face again.

‘But not like this’ Tommy said before giving you another kiss.

Just after your lips drifted apart, your eyes wandered downwards where could see Tommy’s erection pushing against his pants. He clearly was ready and you wondered why he stopped you.

‘Tomorrow, after 10 o’clock, in your room. If you want me to come, you leave your bedside lamp on. I will see the light through the bottom of the door. If you don’t want me to come then turn it off and I won’t, alright?’ Tommy said.

Tommy wanted you to be sure about this. Not influenced by whiskey and not in the heat of the moment.

You agreed to his suggestion and, after a few more kisses, you left his office.

A Night to Remember

The next evening, after you finished work for the day and had dinner, you made your way to your room. You had a bath, washed your hair and got dressed in some lingerie.

The fire was lid and, just as instructed, you left on the bedside lamp. It was only 9 o’clock and you had to wait another hour before Tommy would meet you. You tried to kill the time by reading a book, but you couldn’t think about anything but Tommy and what was about to happen.

You wondered what it would be like to be with a man, especially a man like him. He was clearly experienced. Nonetheless, you were worried that it would be painful.

Five minutes to ten, you put the book that you weren’t really reading aside and put on some perfume. You wanted to smell nice for him.

You positioned yourself on the bed, seductively. Your black lace underwear was highlighted by the light of the bedside lamp. Your hair was open, your curls running over your shoulders. Your porcelain pale skinned was complimented by the dark red lipstick you had borrowed from one of the maids.

Waiting impatiently, just as the clock stroke ten, you could hear the door opening.

‘You look beautiful’ Tommy smirked.

‘Just for you’ you said shyly, taking in a deep breath as Tommy walked over towards you.

He was wearing nothing but underpants and you couldn’t help but stare at his perfect body.

It wasn’t long until he climbed onto the bed with you and his lips met yours for a passionate kiss.

The kiss was urgent and his lips tasted like sweet whiskey. He took his time, his hands roaming over your body while his tongue was dancing with yours.

It wasn’t long until he found the clip of your bra and he opened it with ease.

‘If I would have known that it would come off so quickly, I wouldn’t have spent half my weekly wage on it’ you giggled.

‘Just an unnecessary piece of fabric’ Tommy chuckled as his fingers began to trace the lines of your body, curving around your now naked breasts, stroking and teasing your nipples.

His lips soon moved from your mouth down to your neck and then all the way to your breasts.

‘Mmhm’ you moaned as he began to bite your nipples gently while his hands roamed downwards to your stomach and then your lace panties.

Tommy hooked his thumbs in your panties and slowly drew them down your legs, leaving you totally exposed.

While kissing over your breasts gently, one of his hands moved directly in between your legs and his index finger traced through your wet slit, dipping into slightly.

You inhaled sharply and tensed up suddenly and unintentionally. Tommy could feel your body become stiff and your legs closing around his hand.

‘Do you want me to stop?’ Tommy asked as he moved upwards slightly, worried that this was too much too soon for you.

‘No Tommy, I want you’ you said desperately before pressing your lips back onto his.

‘Please’ you then said again as your lips drifted apart.

‘Alright. I will take it slow and you will tell me if I hurt you or if you want me to stop. Agreed?’ he said, causing you to nod.

And just like that, his lips met your again before he started to trail kisses down your body.

Just as he reached your stomach, he stopped and lowered himself further, right in between your legs.

Tommy hooked one of your calves around his shoulder and then started kissing up your ankle, your calf, your knee.

You had no idea what he was doing until he got closer and closer to your already soaking wet mound.

‘Tommy, what are you doing?’ you asked nervously. His face was so close to your most intimate parts that you flushed from embarrassment.

‘You’ll see’ he smirked just before, all of a sudden, he dipped his tongue to meet your sex.

‘Oh god’ you cried out, partly from pleasure and partly from the exhilaration of a sensation entirely foreign to your body.

He drew lazy circles around your clit, making your legs twitch of their own volition. Your hand nestled in Tommy’s hair, stroking it as you moaned.

Tommy adapted quickly, gauging your moans and learning your sweet spots.

While his tongue circled over your client, he carefully and slowly pushed a finger into you.

You tensed, but relaxed quickly as you couldn’t feel any pain.

He began to thrust it in and out in time with the rhythm of his tongue.

You felt dizzy, quivering with anticipation as heat pooled deep in your belly.

You whimpered, whispering "please" over and over again as you felt yourself on the verge of exploding. No orgasm you had ever given yourself had been like this—it felt electric.

Tommy could soon feel your walls tightening around his finger and increased the speed of his thrusts.

You clapped a hand over your mouth and screamed as you came, your back arching, legs shaking, hips grinding against him. Even after you were past your highest peak, you felt the energy tingling, jolting through you, inspiring little sighs.

When you opened your eyes, you saw him grin, wiping your nectar from his face with the back of his hand.

‘I think you are ready now eh’ he smirked before taking off his underpants.

He was large, larger than you had imagined.

You took in a deep breath, knowing exactly what was to come next.

Tommy could see the nervousness and concern on your face.

‘Don’t worry, I will go slow and we can stop at any time, alright’ he said as he positioned himself in between your legs.

‘Tommy, are you sure it will fit, I mean…’ you said nervously and, before you could finish your sentence, Tommy interrupted you with a mild chuckle.

‘It will fit Love’ he said before his lips met yours again for passionate kiss.

As he was kissing you gently, he positioned his cock at your entrance and began to press just the head into you.

It felt warm and moist.

Tommy’s normally-cool countenance was wide-eyed and intense as he began pushing into you.

Your breath hissed out in tandem as he began to stretch you open and you couldn’t help it but hold onto his upper arms tightly.

Pushing into you inch by inch, you groaned when he finally met the resistance of your hymen.

‘Tommy, please’ you moaned as you squeezed your eyes shut and braced yourself for what was coming.

Tommy leaned forward, slowly pushing through the resistance.

You both struggled to contain your yelps of pain and pleasure as he tore through you.

Your eyes welled up with tears as your recovered from the white-hot sharpness, but before long it was replaced by a feeling of blissful fullness. You fluttered open my eyes and gave him a lazy smile.

‘Are you alright?’ he asked, holding still, allowing you to adjust to his size. His voice was throaty and intense.

‘Yes’. I feel so... fucking... full’ you giggled and, just like that, he began to push deeper, then rocked his hips back out.

He thrusted in a slow, deliberate rhythm, working his cock into you inch by inch.

Every new thrust stretched you out beyond what you thought you could handle.

He looked down in a moment of surprise as your hips began to grind against him, trying to work his cock in and out of you. He chuckled, re-positioning himself for leverage, and began to fuck you.

He began with slower, shallower strokes, finding his rhythm and stretching you out. You could tell that he wanted to go faster, but your walls were gripping too tight for him to pound you just yet without hurting you.

You could see the hunger in Tommy’s features, feel it as his hand tangled in your hair and gave it a sharp tug.

The tug distracted you and gave him the opportunity he needed to thrust hard and deep into you.

You cried out, and the lingering pain in your body was suddenly replaced by explosive pleasure. You threw your arms around his neck and he drew his hips back before pounding you with another powerful thrust, and another, and another.

The sensations—the sound of your bodies slapping together, the smell of sex, the feeling of his body pounding into you—collided suddenly in a violent eruption, and you couldn't contain your cries of pleasure as you came for the second time.

Your pleasure and the feel of your walls spasming around him sent Tommy into overdrive.

He pounded you harder and harder, before tensing and releasing his seed inside you with a shuddering roar.

You both gasped for breath, covered in sweat, hearts racing from the heat of your encounter. His lips met yours in a deep kiss, and you tasted yourself again on his tongue.

‘You are so fucking beautiful’ Tommy said in between kisses before he finally pulled out of you, causing some of his cum mixed with some of your mildly blood-stained juices leak on the sheet.

‘Will you stay with me for the night?’ you asked as you pressed your cheek onto Tommy’s warm chest.

‘You know I can’t’ Tommy said as he ran his hand through your hair. ‘But I’ll stay until you fall asleep eh’ he added before pressing his lips onto to yours yet again.

And so he did, he stayed with you until you drifted off to sleep.

The Aftermath

The next morning, you woke up early. Somewhat sore but full of energy.

Tommy didn’t have to tell you that, what happened last night, had to remain a secret.

Nonetheless, you hoped that you would have an encounter like this with him again soon.

To your surprise, when you got dressed, you noticed the stains on the white sheets.

You pulled them off quickly and decided to get them into the wash before the other maids had to use the laundry facilities.

As you walked into the laundry room with your sheets, you saw Sarah.

‘You are up early?’ you asked surprised.

‘Charles was sick last night and I have to clean his sheets. I think he doesn’t tolerate cows’ milk to be honest’ she said.

‘What about you?’ she asked.

‘Washing my sheets before it gets too busy’ you said shyly.

‘Didn’t you just wash your sheets?’ Sarah asked, taking them off your hands.

‘Sarah, please, let me’ you said. ‘It’s this time of the month’ you said nervously, lying of course, but trying to justify the somewhat small but obvious stains on your sheets.

‘Don’t worry, if I can clean up vomit, I can clean up anything. Despite, you don’t know how to use the new machine’ Sarah chuckled.

With reluctance and embarrassment, you agreed but, just as Sarah placed the stained sheets into the basin, she noticed a familiar scent. Tommy’s aftershave.

‘You know Y/N, you might want to see a doctor’ she said.

‘Why is that?’ you asked.

‘You said that it’s the time of the month for you. You had your menses ten days ago. That’s not normal don’t you think? Unless there is something else you have to hide Y/N?’ Sarah said sharply.

#Tommy Shelby #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby imagine #thomas shelby #thomas shelby smut #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby imagine #Peaky Blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #thomas shelby x y/n #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby x you #peaky blinders smut #smut

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transtalk · 3 years

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“Here’s some stuff I’ve learned in my ~12 years since I started transitioning”

*Posted with permission from a Redditor who chooses to remain anonymous. I am over 10yrs into my transition and agree with most of these points. Thought this was a great share to help our younger transmen.

I’m 26 and I started transitioning at 14. I recently passed my 10yrs on T recently and I figured I’d pass on some random knowledge I’ve accumulated in my experience.

Physical stuff:

-Be prepared to outgrow any clothes you buy in the first 5ish years on T. You might think you’re in the clear after a couple years, you’re not. That includes shoes.

-Looking at your father and brothers for an idea of what you might look like on T isn’t always accurate. My dad and brother don’t have much body hair, I’m a damn werewolf. On the other hand, they have full heads or hair. My hair has decided to migrate from my head to, well, everywhere else.

-Mature hairlines are a thing, doesn’t necessarily mean receding. My dad has the former, I have the latter.

-Not all hair follicles grow at the same time. Your beard after not shaving for 2 weeks is not the same as your beard after not shaving 2 months and then trimming it to that same length. Ive had a thick, full beard since I was 20. I had to shave for a neck surgery and for the first month I was back to my patchy teenage beard. Right now, wearing a mask is a great opportunity if you want to try growing it out without looking ridiculous.

-Still train all of your body if you’re trying to get a more masculine physique. You may worry about having a bigger butt or thighs but trust me, it’s still important. Also, it’s not all about shoulders, chest, and arms. The lats and traps are often overlooked.

-Penises sit lower than you think and are smaller than you think. Take that into account when packing. I haven’t been in the market for many years but I pray that there are more options now that aren’t 5+”.

-If you get a hysto, hold a pillow over your belly when you cough. Trust me.

-If you have surgery in general, you’re probably going to be thirsty when you wake up. Go slow when they finally let you have water. I’ve puked on a few nurses… sorry guys.

-If you have bottom surgery with urethral lengthening, you might have extra drops of pee that get stuck. The way your urethra is situated has a different angle so more pee gets trapped in there. Press up on the gooch to get it out. Some cis guys have to do it too, it’s called the taint tap.

-Athletic fit pants are great for big booty bros.

Social/emotional stuff:

-It can be hard to see it sometimes, but plenty of cis guys have the same features you’re dysphoric about. Baby face? I’ve got male coworkers older than me that look like teenagers. Wide hips? Some dudes are bottom heavy. Short? If you pay attention, there’s short guys everywhere. The average guy doesn’t look like Channing Tatum.

-There’s a thin line between dysphoria and dysmorphia. What you see in the mirror could be totally different from what people see when they look at you.

-It’s fine to pee in the stall. Standing or sitting. Nobody gives a fuck. Even after phallo I pretty much exclusively pee in stalls. Less splashback, privacy, and pee time is me time.

-There’s another step to transitioning you might not realize: becoming confident in yourself as a man. It’s easier said than done and it can be a pretty long process. You are a manly fuckin man (or a feminine man, but you’re still a Fuckin man) and you are no less of a man than any other. You will be much happier once you can say that to yourself and truly believe it.

-You don’t owe anything to the trans community. There’s no denying there can be negativity. If it’s taking a toll on your mental health or causing more dysphoria, it’s ok to step back. You’re not obligated to involve yourself just because others in the community have helped you. You owe yourself happiness. It took me way to long to learn that. I pop in online once or twice a year in places like this sub where it typically is a civil environment but I limit it to that.

-Along the same lines, it’s ok to be stealth. You are more than your gender and it’s ok if you don’t want others to define you by that. Again, you don’t owe anybody anything. You can support the trans community without disclosing. Vote in support of trans rights, call people out on their bigotry, donate to charities, etc. And unfortunate as it is, your voice is sometimes more heard as an ally than as a trans person.

-Even if you finished the required therapy to get hormones/surgery it’s good to stick with it if you can. I know it’s not possible financially or time wise for everyone, but if you can, you should. All of your struggles don’t magically disappear when you medically transition. It’s good to have a professional help you process everything. I honestly think most people in general can benefit a lot from therapy.

-You could still have some dysphoria even when you have fully transitioned (whatever you define that as for yourself). Many don’t but it’s not a guarantee. I’m sorry to break that to anyone who is just starting their transition but it’s important to realize. If you recognize it, you can learn to cope. I still feel some dysphoria occasionally about the things I cant change. Mainly that I can’t be the biological father to my children. I have to remember that it’s not genetics that makes a father, it’s love and care.

My experience obviously isn’t going to be the same as everyone else’s but I hope this can help someone a little bit.

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rebelontheroad · 4 years

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MICHELLE OBAMA FULL SPEECH (Dem Convention)

«Good evening, everyone. It’s a hard time, and everyone’s feeling it in different ways. And I know a lot of folks are reluctant to tune into a political convention right now or to politics in general. Believe me, I get that. But I am here tonight because I love this country with all my heart, and it pains me to see so many people hurting.

I’ve met so many of you. I’ve heard your stories. And through you, I have seen this country’s promise. And thanks to so many who came before me, thanks to their toil and sweat and blood, I’ve been able to live that promise myself.

That’s the story of America. All those folks who sacrificed and overcame so much in their own times because they wanted something more, something better for their kids.

There’s a lot of beauty in that story. There’s a lot of pain in it, too, a lot of struggle and injustice and work left to do. And who we choose as our president in this election will determine whether or not we honor that struggle and chip away at that injustice and keep alive the very possibility of finishing that work.

I am one of a handful of people living today who have seen firsthand the immense weight and awesome power of the presidency. And let me once again tell you this: The job is hard. It requires clearheaded judgment, a mastery of complex and competing issues, a devotion to facts and history, a moral compass, and an ability to listen — and an abiding belief that each of the 330,000,000 lives in this country has meaning and worth.

A president’s words have the power to move markets. They can start wars or broker peace. They can summon our better angels or awaken our worst instincts. You simply cannot fake your way through this job.

As I’ve said before, being president doesn’t change who you are; it reveals who you are. Well, a presidential election can reveal who we are, too. And four years ago, too many people chose to believe that their votes didn’t matter. Maybe they were fed up. Maybe they thought the outcome wouldn’t be close. Maybe the barriers felt too steep. Whatever the reason, in the end, those choices sent someone to the Oval Office who lost the national popular vote by nearly 3,000,000 votes.

In one of the states that determined the outcome, the winning margin averaged out to just two votes per precinct — two votes. And we’ve all been living with the consequences.

When my husband left office with Joe Biden at his side, we had a record-breaking stretch of job creation. We’d secured the right to health care for 20,000,000 people. We were respected around the world, rallying our allies to confront climate change. And our leaders had worked hand-in-hand with scientists to help prevent an Ebola outbreak from becoming a global pandemic.

Four years later, the state of this nation is very different. More than 150,000 people have died, and our economy is in shambles because of a virus that this president downplayed for too long. It has left millions of people jobless. Too many have lost their health care; too many are struggling to take care of basic necessities like food and rent; too many communities have been left in the lurch to grapple with whether and how to open our schools safely. Internationally, we’ve turned our back, not just on agreements forged by my husband, but on alliances championed by presidents like Reagan and Eisenhower.

And here at home, as George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and a never-ending list of innocent people of color continue to be murdered, stating the simple fact that a Black life matters is still met with derision from the nation’s highest office.

Because whenever we look to this White House for some leadership or consolation or any semblance of steadiness, what we get instead is chaos, division, and a total and utter lack of empathy.

Empathy: that’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. The ability to walk in someone else’s shoes; the recognition that someone else’s experience has value, too. Most of us practice this without a second thought. If we see someone suffering or struggling, we don’t stand in judgment. We reach out because, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” It is not a hard concept to grasp. It’s what we teach our children.

And like so many of you, Barack and I have tried our best to instill in our girls a strong moral foundation to carry forward the values that our parents and grandparents poured into us. But right now, kids in this country are seeing what happens when we stop requiring empathy of one another. They’re looking around wondering if we’ve been lying to them this whole time about who we are and what we truly value.

They see people shouting in grocery stores, unwilling to wear a mask to keep us all safe. They see people calling the police on folks minding their own business just because of the color of their skin. They see an entitlement that says only certain people belong here, that greed is good, and winning is everything because as long as you come out on top, it doesn’t matter what happens to everyone else. And they see what happens when that lack of empathy is ginned up into outright disdain.

They see our leaders labeling fellow citizens enemies of the state while emboldening torch-bearing white supremacists. They watch in horror as children are torn from their families and thrown into cages, and pepper spray and rubber bullets are used on peaceful protesters for a photo op.

Sadly, this is the America that is on display for the next generation. A nation that’s underperforming not simply on matters of policy but on matters of character. And that’s not just disappointing; it’s downright infuriating, because I know the goodness and the grace that is out there in households and neighborhoods all across this nation.

And I know that regardless of our race, age, religion, or politics, when we close out the noise and the fear and truly open our hearts, we know that what’s going on in this country is just not right. This is not who we want to be.

So what do we do now? What’s our strategy? Over the past four years, a lot of people have asked me, “When others are going so low, does going high still really work?” My answer: going high is the only thing that works, because when we go low, when we use those same tactics of degrading and dehumanizing others, we just become part of the ugly noise that’s drowning out everything else. We degrade ourselves. We degrade the very causes for which we fight.

But let’s be clear: going high does not mean putting on a smile and saying nice things when confronted by viciousness and cruelty. Going high means taking the harder path. It means scraping and clawing our way to that mountain top. Going high means standing fierce against hatred while remembering that we are one nation under God, and if we want to survive, we’ve got to find a way to live together and work together across our differences.

And going high means unlocking the shackles of lies and mistrust with the only thing that can truly set us free: the cold, hard truth.

So let me be as honest and clear as I possibly can. Donald Trump is the wrong president for our country. He has had more than enough time to prove that he can do the job, but he is clearly in over his head. He cannot meet this moment. He simply cannot be who we need him to be for us. It is what it is.

Now, I understand that my message won’t be heard by some people. We live in a nation that is deeply divided, and I am a Black woman speaking at the Democratic Convention. But enough of you know me by now. You know that I tell you exactly what I’m feeling. You know I hate politics. But you also know that I care about this nation. You know how much I care about all of our children.

So if you take one thing from my words tonight, it is this: if you think things cannot possibly get worse, trust me, they can; and they will if we don’t make a change in this election. If we have any hope of ending this chaos, we have got to vote for Joe Biden like our lives depend on it.

I know Joe. He is a profoundly decent man, guided by faith. He was a terrific vice president. He knows what it takes to rescue an economy, beat back a pandemic, and lead our country. And he listens. He will tell the truth and trust science. He will make smart plans and manage a good team. And he will govern as someone who’s lived a life that the rest of us can recognize.

When he was a kid, Joe’s father lost his job. When he was a young senator, Joe lost his wife and his baby daughter. And when he was vice president, he lost his beloved son. So Joe knows the anguish of sitting at a table with an empty chair, which is why he gives his time so freely to grieving parents. Joe knows what it’s like to struggle, which is why he gives his personal phone number to kids overcoming a stutter of their own.

His life is a testament to getting back up, and he is going to channel that same grit and passion to pick us all up, to help us heal and guide us forward.

Now, Joe is not perfect. And he’d be the first to tell you that. But there is no perfect candidate, no perfect president. And his ability to learn and grow — we find in that the kind of humility and maturity that so many of us yearn for right now. Because Joe Biden has served this nation his entire life without ever losing sight of who he is; but more than that, he has never lost sight of who we are, all of us.

Joe Biden wants all of our kids to go to a good school, see a doctor when they’re sick, live on a healthy planet. And he’s got plans to make all of that happen. Joe Biden wants all of our kids, no matter what they look like, to be able to walk out the door without worrying about being harassed or arrested or killed. He wants all of our kids to be able to go to a movie or a math class without being afraid of getting shot. He wants all our kids to grow up with leaders who won’t just serve themselves and their wealthy peers but will provide a safety net for people facing hard times.

And if we want a chance to pursue any of these goals, any of these most basic requirements for a functioning society, we have to vote for Joe Biden in numbers that cannot be ignored. Because right now, folks who know they cannot win fair and square at the ballot box are doing everything they can to stop us from voting. They’re closing down polling places in minority neighborhoods. They’re purging voter rolls. They’re sending people out to intimidate voters, and they’re lying about the security of our ballots. These tactics are not new.

But this is not the time to withhold our votes in protest or play games with candidates who have no chance of winning. We have got to vote like we did in 2008 and 2012. We’ve got to show up with the same level of passion and hope for Joe Biden. We’ve got to vote early, in person if we can. We’ve got to request our mail-in ballots right now, tonight, and send them back immediately and follow-up to make sure they’re received. And then, make sure our friends and families do the same.

We have got to grab our comfortable shoes, put on our masks, pack a brown bag dinner and maybe breakfast too, because we’ve got to be willing to stand in line all night if we have to.

Look, we have already sacrificed so much this year. So many of you are already going that extra mile. Even when you’re exhausted, you’re mustering up unimaginable courage to put on those scrubs and give our loved ones a fighting chance. Even when you’re anxious, you’re delivering those packages, stocking those shelves, and doing all that essential work so that all of us can keep moving forward.

Even when it all feels so overwhelming, working parents are somehow piecing it all together without child care. Teachers are getting creative so that our kids can still learn and grow. Our young people are desperately fighting to pursue their dreams.

And when the horrors of systemic racism shook our country and our consciences, millions of Americans of every age, every background rose up to march for each other, crying out for justice and progress.

This is who we still are: compassionate, resilient, decent people whose fortunes are bound up with one another. And it is well past time for our leaders to once again reflect our truth.

So, it is up to us to add our voices and our votes to the course of history, echoing heroes like John Lewis who said, “When you see something that is not right, you must say something. You must do something.” That is the truest form of empathy: not just feeling, but doing; not just for ourselves or our kids, but for everyone, for all our kids.

And if we want to keep the possibility of progress alive in our time, if we want to be able to look our children in the eye after this election, we have got to reassert our place in American history. And we have got to do everything we can to elect my friend, Joe Biden, as the next president of the United States.

Thank you all. God bless.»

Michelle Obama

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tomtenadia · 3 years

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Remember Us - part 6

Monday surprise!

As some of you might have read from my post from yesterday, I officially finished this fic and it will have 10 parts. this was the original plan and I am glad I kept it. The idea of having many more chapters of Rowan not recognising his family was far too painful.

Chapter 9 and 10 are so sweet that they will probably give you cavities, but I just thought they deserved the best happy ending.

Also, i got very attached to Thomas and he is a great fan of his parents.

Well, I hope you will enjoy this.

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Rowan had been staying at Lorcan’s while Aelin still kept her distance. It had been two weeks and they had been horrendous. She had blocked him off of her life. She was not answering his calls or texts and apparently had told Elide not to tell him anything about her. He was furious. They should be together and face such a tragic moment in their lives, together. But Aelin would not listen. He had tried everything to talk to her.

Someone knocked on the door and, since he was home alone, he went to open it.

On the other side he found Aelin. But the woman in front of him had a lifeless stare and deep shadows under her eyes. She was the ghost of his wife.

“Ro…” she said in a thin voice and then broke down in heavy sob.

Rowan didn’t even think. His arms pulled her at his chest and kissed her head. The sight of an Aelin so heartbroken was a shot to his heart.

“I am sorry.” She added, hiding her face in his chest and inhaling his scent that always gave her comfort.

“Shhh… I am here. I am never letting you go again, no matter how much you shout at me.” Another tender kiss “I am coming home and we’ll get through this.”

Rowan was in bed and staring at the ceiling after the dream woke him up. The Aelin from the dream was a shell compared to the version sleeping at his side. He turned his head and stared at her sleepy face and a deep part of him hoped she was fine. That the baby was fine. Because he knew for sure he didn’t want to see her again in the conditions she had been in the dream. Seeing Aelin in pain or sad hurt him.

He sighed and got off the bed and walked to the kitchen but once he got there he realised he had no idea where anything was. Aelin had said he would make pancakes but could not remember the day she had said.

A splitting headache hit him and Rowan sat down on the sofa, head in his hands and then for a moment he felt disoriented and could not recognise his surroundings. Panic hit him. He looked up and saw a boy staring at him. He jumped up and almost fell.

“Dad.” The boy’s voice was almost tearful.

And as quickly as the moment of disorientation came, just as rapidly it went away and lucidity returned.

“Tom,” he ran to the boy and hugged him to console him as soon as he started crying. He had scared him “I am sorry I frightened you.” Thomas hugged his father and stopped crying and Rowan relaxed for an instant.

“Do you want pancakes?” He asked his son, still not letting him go.

“It’s not Saturday.” Said the boy, looking at his father in his eyes.

“Shhhh…” said Rowan with a finger against his mouth “You can have pancakes all the time.” He lifted the boy in his arms “but you need to tell me where everything is.”

Thomas grinned and pointed to the kitchen and once in there he started pointing at the doors and Rowan finally found a pan. Then he grabbed his phone and searched for a recipe, grabbed eggs and milk from the fridge and joined Thomas back at the counter who, in the meantime, had grabbed a chair and was kneeling on it so he could follow his dad.

“Will you be my assistant?” the boy nodded eagerly.

After ten minutes he was mixing the batter making sure it was smooth as the instructions recommended.

“Ok, Tom, are you ready for the first one?”

“Pancakes,” he shouted happily and Rowan smiled. He might remember a very few things about his son but he was definitely going to cherish that moment. It didn’t matter if it had been only a day. He was already in love with the two children. He just hoped he could become a good father to them once again.

Aelin woke up and found the bed empty and for a moment she thought it had been only a dream, but as she rolled over she noticed Rowan’s side was crumpled and gently caressed his pillow. He had always been an early riser and it seemed that some things had not changed.

She sat up, grabbed her fleece from the chair and left the bed looking for Rowan.

As she exited the bedroom she heard laughter coming from the kitchen and followed the sounds and once inside she could not believe the scene. Thomas was kneeling on a chair beside Rowan trying to cook something.

“Pancakes on a Wednesday?”

Thomas turned to her “shhh mum, it’s a secret.”

Aelin walked to her son and kissed his head “good morning, my love.”

“I am helping dad with pancakes. He doesn’t remember how to make them.”

Rowan flipped one and Thomas clapped “that is mine.” He grabbed a plate and placed the pancake on it “go and sit while I make more.”

Thomas climbed down the chair and walked to the table with his plate.

Aelin moved to Rowan’s side “did you sleep well?”

Her husband nodded and hesitated for a moment wether to tell her about his episode. Then he sighed and told her what had happened and Aelin looked at him with a doctor’s eye.

“A TBI can have such effects. It can cause moments of disorientation in which the person doesn’t know where he is. It can also affect short term memory, making it difficult to learn new things or even remember things you just did.” She placed a few more pancakes in Thomas’ plate “but there are ways to help you. We can do lists, have notepads and clipboards in the house. Have a note book and note down things.” She explained going back at his side “long term memory is stored already in your brain,” and playfully patted his head “you actually haven’t lost them. They are still all there. It’s just your brain has to sort through them again. It’s very complicated and technical, but they will come back. Short term memory is another issue. Do you still feel confused?”

Rowan shook his head and passed Aelin a plate with pancakes and then grabbed the jar of Nutella “go and scoff your breakfast.”

Aelin grinned “see? You remembered I take them with Nutella.”

In that instant they heard a cry and Aelin realised Freyja had woken up. She was about to stand when Rowan stopped her “Eat,” he commanded and again she had a glimpse of past Rowan. The one who would made sure she ate.

A moment later he came back with his daughter in his arms “I think our princess wants to join the breakfast club as well.” Freyja threw her chubby arms around his neck, snuggling close to him “what does she eat?”

Aelin went to the fridge and grabbed one of her pressed meals and Rowan began feeding his daughter.

It was an hour later when Aelin was ready for work “mum should be back very soon and I am taking Thomas to the nursery. Will you be okay with Freyja for half an hour tops? I changed her and she is fed, it should be easy.”

Rowan lifted the little girl in his arms “we should be fine.” And gave her his best reassuring smile.

“You call me if you have any problems.”

Thomas went to hug his dad before following Aelin out of the door.

Once he was alone with his daughter he stood, with her still in his arms and hobbled around the living room and stared at their impressive bookcase. Freyja leaned forward and with her hands tried to grab a book “ ‘tory” she babbled.

“Do you want me to read you a story?” He asked her and the girl green eyes were fixed on him and then she nodded.

He placed her down on the carpet and turned to the library in search of a storybook for her.

“I think I— ” he turned with a book in his hands and froze. Freyja was gone. Shit.

“Freyja.” He called her, panic rising in his voice. She couldn’t have gone far. How fast could a 18 months toddler go? He took his cane and started looking around the house “Freyja?”

In that instant Evalin came back and he breathed in relief.

“Rowan, are you okay?”

He was the worst father ever “I lost Freyja. I was looking for a storybook and when I turned she was gone.” He was preparing himself from some lashing from his mother in law but the woman burst into laughter.

“She does that. Thomas has been teaching her how to play hide and seek,” the woman explained calmly walking around the house and then going to the girl’s bedroom. Rowan followed her.

Evalin lifted the blanket from the side of the bed and pointed at under her bed.

Rowan heard a faint giggle.

“I wonder where my girl is.” Said Evalin keeping up the pretence. She opened the wardrobe “no, she is not here.” Rowan observed her and then joined in “she is not in the toy box either.”

Evalin placed her hands on her hips and grinned at Rowan then crouched down “here you are.”

The little girl screamed in delight as her grandma caught her.

The three of them went back to the living room and Evalin passed Freyja back to Rowan and went to unpack her shopping bags.

“Do you need a hand?” He offered.

“No, it’s just fruits and veggies and a few more things. I love to go down at the market in the morning and buy fresh ingredients.” She told him, “you love to go too on your day off, wake up early and also go to the fish market and get the first catch.”

Rowan sat on a chair at the big table with his daughter in his arms.

“Aelin can cook, but you are the chef of the family.”

He smiled back and gently bounced Freyja on his knee and she giggled.

“How does it feel being back home?” She asked her son in law while stashing away the groceries.

Rowan sighed “it feels good and strange at the same time.” It was hard to explain how he felt without sounding like a lunatic “Some things are starting to feel familiar. But others feel totally new and others scare me.” He confessed but the woman in front of him looked at him with tenderness “the kids for example, I feel like I love them madly already but it pains me that the memories with them are still fuzzy. I want to give them back their father.”

“And Aelin?”

Rowan sighed “I think I feel something for her. I would not call it love yet. But yesterday we kissed and it felt like the most normal thing ever.”

Evalin smiled.

“But my memories are a jumble in my head right now. I have them, they are there and I found that being at home is triggering more and more of them. I want to do this. I want us to be a family again.” He grabbed his phone and showed her the photo on his home screen. The one on the beach, all of them smiling and happy. “I want this again. I just don’t know how to get there.”

“Rowan,” Evalin walked to him once done with the groceries and sat at his side “you have been awake for a month and at home for two days.” She patted his knee “both Aelin and I think that being home will help trigger more of your memories. Look through photo albums.” She stood and opened a cabinet and took out a box which once opened he discovered it contained a lot of photo albums. “Digital is good, but you and Aelin both love to print out the photos and make scrapbooks.” She rummaged in the box for a moment and then passed him an album “start with this.”

Rowan took it and it noticed it was their wedding album “Her friend Chaol took all the photos and then Aelin made a scrapbook and added notes and comments on it. She said she did not want the usual boring wedding album.”

He opened the first page and in big colourful letter and nice calligraphy it said Buzzard & Fireheart: the beginning of an epic tale.

The second page it had a picture of the two of them in an armour, back to back and swords drawn.

“You two hired some costumes for that photo.”

Rowan laughed and kept on flipping through the photo album. It was organised like a story, with small narrating paragraphs near the photos and he read each one of them.

“You two got married on a beach, then had a gigantic barbecue for all your friends and then when night came you lit a bonfire and had your first dance as husband and wife in front of the fire. Both of you barefoot.”

Rowan smiled “it sounds like fun.”

“It was a great day.” She bounced Freyja on her lap “all the albums tell a story. You did all of them like that so when looking back you could also remember more of those moments.”

Rowan reached the page where they were standing in front of Aedion, who officiated the wedding, and he stared at Aelin. Her light blue dress was gorgeous, but he was stuck on her smile. In the photo he was looking at she has the brightest of smiles and he realised that falling for her would be so easy. She was caring, brilliant, funny and sarcastic. She had passion. She had fire.

She was his Fireheart.

#rowan whitethorn #rowaelinkids #rowan x aelin #aelin galathynius #domestic fluff #throneofglassseries

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creatureofmystry · 3 years

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MLB x DC Universe Headcannons

I just love the idea of MLB and DC (expecially Batfam cuz Mari is such a Wayne) being in the same universe and crossing over. So one night, I just had an idea overload of different ways the Marinette would know the batfam/be a part of the DC universe. And if any of my shitty ideas somehow inspire or prompt you, then please be my guest. 😊 _

1) “Ladybugs of Past and Present”

Hippolyta, Wonder Woman’s mother, was once a previous holder of the ladybug miraculous. When Fu activated the miraculous and put them in circulation, Hippolyta could feel its magic waking back up. Knowing there must a reason for it to be out, she sent a message to her daughter. Diana searched, finding Marinette and Adrien as the present holders of the ladybug and cat miraculous. She vouched and brought them into the Young Justice program while they also made their own team, Project: Zodiac (or something like that).

[Sometime when Diana takes Marinette to meet Hippolyta]

“Great Hera, Tikki, you have not aged a day” -Hippolyta, cause she does know how to make joke.

“And I would say the same to you” -Tikki

“Mother, you can make a laugh?” -Wonder Woman, honestly a bit confused cause her mom have never not been serious before.

And Marinette is just speechless cause she’s starstruck meeting Wonder Woman’s mom AND a previous Ladybug holder.

2) “Rockstar Niece”

Jagged Stone is Marinette’s Sweet Uncle J. During the summers, Jagged Stone would take Mari with him on tour. HIs summer tours are throughout America, so Mari gets to sightsee the country. Jagged’s first tour that he gets to take Mari on (5-ish), he’s also booked for the annual (for whatever reason) Wayne Summer Gala. When Marinette meets the Waynes, they are so enamoured (Dick and Tim couldn’t help it) that they tell Jagged he’s always invited as a guest, Mari of course being added to the permanent guest list too. About 6 years later, Mari is practically adopted, spending the first half of her summers with Jagged, going to the Wayne Gala, then spending the rest of her summer with the Waynes. Overtime, she figured out the secrets of the family and was there to welcome Jason back from the dead (when that happens). Anyways, now 11(-ish?) Mari meets Damian and the two become good friends… after an… impressionable first meeting.

“Tch, let me guess, you’re another one of father’s adopted strays” -Dami

“YOU MUST BE DAMIAN!!! DICK TOLD ME ABOUT YOU!!” -Marinette, who just ignores what he said for a hug.

“hiiiiiiiiissssssss” -Dami, touchy with touch

“...” sprays water in his face since he decided to act like a cat.

“I say, Master Bruce, the children are getting along quite well” -Alfred

3) “Pen Pals”

Jon Kent and Marinette Dupain-Cheng are part of an international pen-pal program, starting when they were very young (maybe like 4 or 5-ish, super super young) where they told each other everything (Jon can’t just say that his older bro is a clone made from Superman and Lex Luthor’s DNA, or that his dad is Superman, or that his best friend is Robin, but yea. Lois and Clark probably proofread his stuff until he’s like 9) with pictures and everything. When they’re old enough to get phones & stuff, they call, text and vid-chat along with their letters (love without blood). When Mari is maybe 9-11 (somewhere around there) she starts flying over during the summers to hangout with Jon (and his friends and big brother). While there, she meets Kon, Bat fam, and Clark (some who she already knew, some who she didn’t) & lightly hints that she knows who all they are once she figures it out (it didn’t take her long to do so).

Now whenever she visits and is at Wayne Manor (Jon likes to have sleepovers practically every weekend) while they’re on patrol, Mari subtly messes with their minds (super subtle, they’re the world’s best detectives after all) until they finally look through the cams and see Mari giving them one of those smiles (those shit-grinning cause it’s just so hilarious how it’s gone on for so long) & and a playful wink.

[5 seconds later]

“Mari!” “Pixie-pop!” “Angel!” “Teacup!”

“Seriously, am I the only one with a normal nickname for her?” -Tim

“Ms. Marinette would like to inform you that ‘it took you long enough’” -Alfred (who so knows that the girl has been playing them since the third night she stayed at the Wayne’s)

“Where are my adoption papers?” -Bruce (who is seriously adopting any talented black-haired child)

4) “Mari and Mar’i”

When Mar’i is young, Dick and Kori take her with them to see Paris (btw, this would be during the winter). They’re strolling along through a park and lose track of Mar’i who finds Marinette (9-10 ish). Marinette comforts and distracts Mar’i while noticing the young(er) girl is Tameranian (her hair is very warm and she’s wearing significantly less layers than should be worn for a human of that age during the winter, plus that sun-kissed skin tone. She’s seen Kori in her fashion magazines (and, from time to time, on the news as an ambassador) so she easily make the connections). Dick and Kori finally spot Mar’i with Mari who introduces herself to them. Mar’i asks if she can see her “Auntinette” again and Marinette just goes “if your parents are okay with it.” Dick and Kori are totally cool with it (not many are willing to watch her and have the time to do it) so they ask Marinette if she can babysit Mar’i whenever (with good pay of course) if she’s up to it (cause she’s still pretty young). Marinette can’t say no to Mar’i’s babydoll eyes (and she’s so much easier compared to Manon, who’s only 2 rn), so of course, she says yes.

Now Marinette is Mar’is official babysitter and sees Mar’i often whenever her parents drop her off (using zeta tubes to quickly get to Paris and back). Marinette gets treated like an honorary Wayne (cause she’s the most responsible) and gets invited to their family stuff (w/ travel pay taken care of, of course). It doesn’t take her long to realize the fact that she babysits Bruce Wayne’s & BATMAN’S granddaughter, but of course, being the responsible one she is, keeps the secret… while also playing with them via Mar’i.

[One Day]

After Marinette leaves for her plane…

“Uncle Dami!”

“Yes, Spawn?”

“Auntinette said to tell you after she left that Robin’s sut needs a major upgrade & that you look like a traffic light… whatever that’s supposed to mean.”

[Another Day]

“Uncle Jay!”

“What’s up kid?’

“Auntinette said that to let you know that Red Hood doesn’t make any sense ‘cause Red Hood wears a helmet. Not a hood.”

[The next time]

“Uncle Tim!”

Yawn. “yea?”

“Auntie told me to give you this” (pulls out super caffeinated coffee) “and that Red Robin’s cowl is a menace to all things fashion”

[Again…]

“Daddy!”

“Yes, Starshine?”

“Auntienette said she’s proud of Nightwing’s costume ‘cause it’s one of the only in the batfam that isn’t an astro-city to the fashion society.”

5) “Marinette, the one who’s always getting chosen”

Before Mari became (becomes(?)) LB, she comes across a different powerful piece of jewelry, from a different order of guardians where her will of mind is not only her shield from being akumatized, but it is also what drives her powers. That’s right, Mari walks past a flea market and activates a GL ring. The guardians pick up on this activity and send Hal (it is his sector) to check it out. Hal finds the ring with Mari but it still needs the light of a GL to charge and fully work.

[During the explanation]

“Look, kid-”

“Marinette.”

“Look, kid, I just need to know why you have that ring.”

“You think I know? I was just walking through the market and all of a sudden, this possessed ring, if that’s even what this is, started following me, then zipped in front of my face til i held my hand up so it can put itself on my finger.”

“Kid-”

“It’s MARINETTE. Get it wrong one more time and you’ll see why I don’t need a possessed piece of alien jewelry.” -Marinette, making sure you get her name right. “Besides, if I stole it, I would remember. I’m a klepto” -Marinette, probably holding his ring too at this point.

Hal obviously doesn’t want the wrath of the Dupain-Chengs (just the kid Marinette scares him enough), so he tells the guardians that JL will take care of most of Mari’s training (once they get her a lamp for her ring, of course) & has her take part in training at Mt. Justice with the Young Justice team and special training with the Bats. Mari does all this under the guise of an international student exchange program for Mari to stay with the Waynes (not yet knowing that it’s the bat fam) and attends G.A. Mari doesn’t do much, but it takes her 24-36 hours to know who EVERYONE is.

[the next week after settling in]

“Hey, Mars,” -Dick, in his Nightwing gear

“Hey, Di-is the GREATEST SHOW!” -Mari, changing the subject(… not really)

“How long did it take you?”

“Not as long as the Kryptonians…” -Mari, going off into a tangent (still trying to change the subject”

[When Marinette meets Tikki]

Back in Paris:

“Sooo… I’m getting powerful jewelry that gives me powers and a suit, needs to be recharged, and comes from some Order of the Guardians? What’s the difference between you and my ring?” -Marinette, who at this point is very confused as to why she keeps getting picked on for this kind of stuff.

“One’s alien, one’s magic” -Tikki, hoping Mari will end it there & lowkey hates that the GL Corp. got to her first.

“They’re both non-human made energy sources” -Mari, cause once you’ve seen it once, you’ve seen it all before.

“You can’t heal the Akuma without the miraculous, and there are more than just rings. Yours are earrings, there are hair clips, bracelets, necklaces and more” -Tikki, after having a minute to think

“Fine, only because you said they’re the only way to heal the, what was it again, akuma?”

6) “Their Unofficial Official Barista”

Part of Tim’s job as Co-CEO, is to make sure all the branches are running smoothly, sometimes that means he has to fly abroad to manually check in. Tim goes to Paris to check on the W.E. Paris branch. He goes to a nearby Patisserie (Tom and Sabine’s) to see a young Marinette (somewhere from 8-11) drawing in her sketchbook at the counter. She explains that her parents are at a catering event, but she’s there to man the little bakery. Tim asks for a super caffeinated coffee and Marinette makes it with ease, claiming it was on the house with how bad he looks (and how much sleep the man clearly needs). Tim begs for her knowledge and asks if she can teach his butler. Mari’s willing to show him the next time he comes, so he gets the whole fam to go (viz tubes so they don’t waste time) maybe a week later. Everyone gets their own drink (plus a free pastries) and Marinette teaches Alfred her coffee, but it’s just not the same so Tim, using the tubes, goes to get coffee from the girl whenever he can.

Mari is horrible at getting up on time (the life of an insomniac, never getting to sleep even if you want and then barely waking up on time) that she is up super early, makes Tim his coffee (plus a croissant) and tries to go back to sleep (making her inevitably late). Tim would walk up to the pick-up counter where his cup and to-go bag is while Marinette runs out of the house to get to school. Eventually, the rest of the Batfam (as well as the Laegue, TT, and YJ) frequent the place, slowly becoming (Dami too) Mari hides it, but she knew all the batfam the first day they came and she showed Alfred how to make the coffee. When the others start making more regular appearances, she learns the identities of YJ team, WW, GLs, and others. Obviously when LB and CN appear as heroes with HM as their villain, they immediately reach out to help. Because 1. Batfam clearly notices that it’s Mari and they sure as heck won’t let her deal with that by herself, and 2. The JL is worrying too much about their favorite barista (even though she’s not really one), especially with the Gigantitan scare. So, of course LB & CN (can’t make him bad everytime) get inducted into YJ.

[After Ladybug finishes defeating Gigantitan and detransforms]

“Bean! Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” -Tim, being an even more protective older brother than Dick, which shouldn’t be possible

“Yes, I promise. I’m fine” -Marinette, who just accepts the fact that she’s adopted an older brother (and his famliy)

“Tube over, we’ll have Alfred make sure” -Dick, already pulling out the medical supplies for Alfred.

“I-”

“You shouldn’t worry your brothers like that, Marinette. Now come over so Alfred can clear you,” -Bruce, who just happens to overhear the conversation

“I’m sorry, Miss Marinette, they are very adamant that you’re in pitch perfect health before going out again,” -Alfred, who’s not actually sorry

“Fine” -Marinette, accepting her fate of her adopted, protective family.

7) “Thicker Than the Blood We’ve Shed”

Why is Marinette so freakishly strong? Because she was trained to be. Before she could even talk, Mari was taught to be an assassin. She and Damian were frenemies, both competing for top spot as best in the League (of Assassins). They often spared together and became rivals who pushed each other (which sounds great in that context if you forget about the fact that they’re killing people and turning it into a competition). When Damian’s care is turned over to Batsy, Mari also comes along for the ride. She implements herself into Dami’s classes at G.A. & watches him from afar. (Damian, not being an idiot, of course knows all this and knows that it’s probably for Mari to give a report to Talia.) When he becomes Robin, Mari obviously knows, but waits to see if anything drastic would happen (his care was given to the Batfam, they had already expected this to happen.) She then heard word of the bounty Talia put on Damian’s head. Marinette knew there wouldn’t be much she could do to help, but she ave Dami a warning about the upcoming situation before fleeing the country.

From there she got to France, changed her name (it wasn’t originally Marinette, it was Shénqí, chinese for miraculous/magical (or something else if you want)), was adopted by Tom & Sabine, and left her time in the League in the past. When she received Tikki, she didn’t want to be a hero because she didn’t think she deserved it after her up-bringing. Eventually, she did become LB (being a trained assassin does help with lucky charms, considering she was taught how to kill with basically every and anything), and life was good for her. Then Rossi came.

[Gotham field trip]

While at Wayne Tower…

“How idiotic are they?” -Damian, who after reuniting with his long-lost sister-from-a-different-mister (yes, Marinette was able to convince him to say it once), can’t understand the stupidity she has to deal with.

“Are you Robin?” -Mari, who is too tired, so just goes straight into the analogy

“Yes.” -Obvious and simply is.

“Exactly” -Mari, who can’t even put a limit to the amount of thought the one brain cell the class shares doesn’t use. I mean please, the so-called “reporter” believed that the first cosplayer she saw was the actual LB when they don’t even have the same hair! And let’s not forget the origins arc, where LB’s first citizen save was Chloe.

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bvidzsoo · 3 years

Text

Playing with fire

Author: bvidzsoo

Warnings: mentions of sexual situations, light violence, sexual assault mentions

Pairing: Wen Junhui x female reader

Word count: 14, 360

Summary: You are on your own in a man-ruled world. Whatever you do, whatever you say, just make sure it doesn’t piss them off. And you feel alone, you never experienced any parental love let alone a partner. But things change for the better when five mysterious men show up in town, but maybe they aren’t who everyone thinks they are? After all, five bandits are on the loose for robbing numerous places.

A/N: Hello, hello lovelies! Welcome back to a wild-west themed oneshot! This story was totally inspired by Baekhyun’s Bambi MV and well, I couldn’t help myself! There’s nothing very graphic in the story, just wanted to point that out. There might be a few things that couldn’t have happened in that era, but this is fiction, so please turn a blind eye to it. I hope the jump between the timelines won’t be confusing as I tried out something new! Hope you like it and your feedback is always appreciated! Enjoy now.

Present time

My teeth clattered against each other involuntarily. Mainly it was due to the chill air that surrounded me, but fear also played along. I’ve never been inside a prison cell before, but I guess the time comes for everything. My robes were covered in dirt and torn in various places due to the events that took place not even an hour ago. Many people would regret getting involved into something like this, but I wasn’t. I knew my inevitable death was approaching, but I couldn’t feel sorry for finally having chosen to live a bit. Do something that I wanted to do without being forced into doing it. My eyes got used to the darkness surrounding this underground place, but I couldn’t help squint when footsteps echoed around in the far end. The silhouette was tall and wore dark clothes as his feet dragged along the cold tiles, menacingly approaching me.

Two weeks ago

My fingers were covered in wrinkles from the excessive scrubbing I had to do with a wet rug. Mornings were always a little bit rough, having to clean up the mess the customers left at night was bothersome at first, but then it became bearable. It brought money; I couldn’t complain too much. I worked at an Inn, because quite frankly, this was the best I could do. We lived in a man ruled world, where the woman was created to please him left and right, with no right to an opinion. You just bow your head and go on with your life, acting like a house rat. Squeak once too loudly and tomorrow you won’t be breathing anymore. It was unfair, how little respect women were offered, after all, these dirty bastards wouldn’t be here if we didn’t give birth to them. But as a woman, you weren’t supposed to think about such things…actually, you weren’t really supposed to think at all. Just entertain blindly, do the house chores, feed the hungry, make dozens of children and please your husband…or any man, really. I learned it the hard way, after multiple beatings when I dared to speak back to a man, I learned my place.

My family was poorer than the already poor ones, no one really raised me, I just grew up and learned by myself how things worked in this world. When I turned fifteen, I realized if I wanted to live a longer life, I would have to earn my own money as my parents provided none for me. I ran away from my hometown, which was two hours away in the middle of the hot desert from the current town I was living in, and settled down here. This town was bigger and paid better, after all, the second headquarter of the National Bank was here. All types of people came and went, yet the locals knew everyone and paid close attention to the newcomers. They were wary, especially ever since a gang of five bandits started robbing banks all around the South. No one knew what they looked like; however, they were able to find out their leader’s name could be Kwan. All sheriffs were looking for this bandit group, so far, they weren’t very successful.

The door opened and the bell chimed atrociously loudly, ringing through the quiet Inn. It was nine in the morning, no one bothered to come in, unless they stayed at the lodge upstairs or forgot to go home last night. I was at the bar, wiping the glasses dry with a yellow towel, when the customer approached me. I glanced up to see a very handsome, young, man standing and looking around. His lips were full and his hair fell neatly onto his forehead. He wore clean clothes, even smelt good, and I straightened my posture, totally forgetting about the rags I was wearing.

“Well…why don’t you sit down, young sir?” I let my voice take a soft tone, dare I say, seductive as the man turned his gaze onto me. He hummed and took a seat on the stool, leaning his hands against the bar.

“Good morning.” His voice was warm and my lips pulled into a big smile. Handsome and well mannered? Was this my lucky day?

“Good morning,” I bat my eyelashes at him timidly, hoping he’d find it attractive, “Would you like to have anything specific?”

“Well…” His eyebrows furrowed as his eyes fell on the shelves behind me, “Do you have something that’s not alcohol?”

I chuckled, leaning against the bar, “Sir, with all due respect, does it look like you walked into a Caffe? This is an Inn…”

“Ah,” He muttered, smiling at me embarrassed, “I must have missed the street…”

“It happens to new people in town.” I muttered, placing a clean glass in front of the stranger.

“You know I’m new in town?” The man’s eyebrows rose and I laughed, head falling a bit backwards. I grabbed the chamomile tea I prepared an hour ago for myself and poured half of it into the glass.

“Sweetheart,” I licked my lips, taking a gulp of the tea that remained in the tall bottle I was holding, “Only two types of people dressed like that come in here. The rich boys looking for a fun night from the north side of the town or the tourists who happen to be passing through the town.”

The man eyed the content of the glass I just poured tea into and then looked back at me, “The name’s Joshua. What did you pour for me?”

“Chamomile tea,” I said with a sigh, finding his name unusual, “You are lucky I woke up a little stressed today. Chamomile tea has the ability to calm your nerves a bit, you know?”

“I did not know.” Joshua muttered and raised his glass to take a sip of the tea, “And it’s not even bad.”

“Of course, it’s not bad!” I exclaimed with a laugh, “I made it.”

“And you must have a name?” Joshua’s eyebrows rose and I glanced around, making sure no one was listening to our conversation. I didn’t use my real name at the Inn.

“It’s Y/N.” I muttered lowly and Joshua hummed, looking around.

“It seems to be deserted here…”

“Sweetheart,” I laughed again, truly amazed by how naïve this man seemed to be, “Inn’s are only full at night, people don’t come here at day, only if they are drunk already.”

“That’s a pity,” Joshua’s lips pulled into a grin, and I returned it as it was contagious, “They are missing out on some luscious chamomile tea.”

I laughed loudly as the bell chimed again, signaling a new client. It wasn’t a client this time, it was Little James, the boy who delivered the newspaper.

“Newspaper!” He hollered loudly as if the place was noisy, throwing down a stack of newspaper at the entrance.

“Bring one here, Little James!” I beckoned the boy, “And stop shouting, everyone can hear you crystal clear if you speak at a normal volume.”

Little James ran up to me with a pout, holding a newspaper to his chest, “But Big James told me to shout while I distribute these.”

“Big James probably forgot to tell you that you only need to shout at the market.” I ruffled the boy’s blonde hair, taking the newspaper from him. I glanced at Joshua, he was staring down at his tea, so I swiftly grabbed a little sack of cookies from the counter and gave it to Little James. He stuffed it into his pocket and offered me a wide grin.

“Miss Katie, you are the best!” He exclaimed as he ran off, leaving the door of the Inn open behind him. I didn’t mind, the fresh air of the morning was welcome.

“Miss Katie?” Joshua’s eyebrows rose as I sat in the chair by the sink, a few steps away from where I was just standing.

“That would be me.” I hummed as I unfolded the newspaper, checking the first page as the hot news were there.

“I thought your name—”

“People know me as Katie here, I don’t use my real name.” I explained absentmindedly as my eyes ran over the words. A big WANTED sign and underneath five black figures with question marks on their faces, coated most part of the first page. There was a new robbery, but at a pawnshop this time, just two hours away from this town. My hometown. Jewelry and money were taken, quite at a high value, and sheriffs were desperately asking people to keep their eyes and ears open, to help capture these bandits. They also made an estimated map of where these five men were headed, and this town was next. I huffed as I browsed through the other news, eyes falling on Joshua when I heard rustling of paper. He was also reading a newspaper, left leg crossed over the right as a subtle, smug, smile slipped onto his lips. I narrowed my eyes at him as I folded my newspaper, leaning forward to rest my elbows onto my knees.

“Found anything you like?” I spoke up, making Joshua jump. He peeked at me through his eyelashes as he cleared his throat, then evened his expression.

“Not really…just the usual news about these five bandits stealing some more.” I couldn’t help but notice the smug tone of his voice as he spoke, controlling his expressions this time.

“Yeah…they’ve been causing quite the chaos for these past three months, haven’t they?” Joshua hummed in agreement as he flipped through the newspaper elegantly, as if he was afraid, he’d rip the paper.

“Well…word says they are headed here.” I raised my eyebrows at Joshua and he mirrored my actions, “You should be careful when you speak to a stranger again.”

“I’ll keep that in mind next time your friends come around.” I winked at Joshua as he stood from his seat.

His eyes narrowed just the slightest bit as he searched his pockets, “Who said I’m traveling with friends?”

“A man like you wouldn’t be traveling alone.” I just shrugged and dryly gulped when I saw the amount of money, he threw on the table. He folded the newspaper and tucked it underneath his armpit; I stood to grab some change to hand back.

“I’ll take this with myself.” He referred to the newspaper as he bowed his head a little and I nodded, crouching down to count the money I needed to hand back.

“Sweetheart, here’s your—” I stood alone in the Inn, behind the bar, as Joshua disappeared, door closed now. I stared down at the change in my hands, then at the money on the table. Without a second thought, I grabbed it before my greasy boss could see it, and tucked it carefully into the top of my corset. This money will last me for a week at least.

The next day, another two strangers walked in. It wasn’t in the morning this time, but almost lunch time. I was actually getting ready to place out my cold rice onto the counter to eat, when the doorbell chimed. With a heavy sigh, I ignored the churning of my belly, and tried to smile. Unlike Joshua yesterday, who blatantly approached me, these two men sat at a table close by the exit. One was shorter and his eyes seemed to be narrowed as he glanced at the few people already inside the Inn, and the other one was a little bit taller as he stood with his hip jutting to the right a little bit. The shorter one must have felt my eyes on them because he turned around and glared at me. He was intimidating and as I was about to look away, but he raised his arm and called me over. I dusted my hands off on some rug from the counter as I walked around it to approach their table. They both took a seat and watched me as I stopped a few feet away.

“Welcome to our Inn,” I greeted politely, using the same tone I used on Joshua yesterday, “Anything you’d like?”

“What’s your best drink?” The taller one asked and I glanced back at the bar, to see if we still had Bourbon.

“It would be the Bourbon, young sir.” My answer made the man laugh, as the other one smirked amused.

“That’s a horrible way to call me, don’t you think?” He raised his eyebrows and I shrugged my shoulder; I called everyone like that.

“It’s Seungkwan,” He grinned, extending his hand, “I’ll take that Bourbon…”

“Katie,” I shook the man’s extended hand with a small smile, “I’ll bring it over just in a second, and for you…”

The shorter man, who was actually about my height, looked at the bar, “What are you drinking?”

I stared at him surprised before clearing my throat, “Chamomile tea, young—”

“That’s really awkward, my name’s Woozi.” He cut me off before I could finish my sentence, “I’ll drink Chamomile tea.”

I nodded my head and walked to the bar, stopping by a table when they waved me down. The man didn’t have anything to ask for, he just called me over for a snide remark. I remained emotionless as I walked to the bar, ignoring the laughter that followed the table after the man’s words. They were the worst customers, always pissing me off. They were from the north side of the town and only came here to make fun of others and bully them. The man who called me over for nothing, his name was Sehun, and he loved to torment me. I grabbed two glasses and poured Bourbon into one and Chamomile into the other after I placed them on a tray. I held the tray with both hands and walked to the table of the strangers, making sure to avoid walking by Sehun’s table as it wouldn’t be the first time, he’d try tripping me while I was carrying something.

“Here,” I whispered as I placed the glass of Bourbon in front of Seungkwan, and the glass of Chamomile tea in front of Woozi. I held the tray to my chest and went to walk away when Woozi pointed at the newspaper on the table.

“Didn’t this make the first page yesterday too?” He asked, eyes watching me. I craned my neck to see the same news as yesterday, the one both Joshua and I read together.

“I suppose,” I said with a shrug, standing back straight, “People must be panicking since the sheriffs said the group is headed this town.”

Woozi and Seungkwan chuckled at the same time, sharing a knowing glance, and my eyebrows furrowed. First Joshua, now these two. They weren’t dressed as fancy as Joshua, or Sehun’s group for that matter, but their clothes were clean and their cologne smelt nice. Even if they weren’t from the north side of the town, they definitely had enough money to take care of themselves. There wasn’t a middle class in this town, you were either poor or rich, so they too weren’t from around here.

“Even if they wanted to, they couldn’t possibly stop these boys.” Seungkwan chuckled at Woozi’s words and I raised my eyebrows intrigued.

“Why not?”

“Woozi likes investigating crimes, Katie,” Seungkwan explained, his lips forming into a pout, “He has a lot of knowledge and evidence point out that these bandits are well prepared and hard to catch, they leave no traces.”

“You said Woozi likes to investigate, but seems like you know a lot too, sweetheart.” I smirked at the two men, their lips pulling into amused smiles.

“Well, Woozi is my brother, we share the same interests.” Seungkwan explained and I hummed, widening my eyes. Did they really expect me to believe that lie?

“You don’t look very much alike.”

Woozi hummed then pushed the newspaper away, “We get that a lot.”

I narrowed my eyes at them, but when they looked away, I knew it was my cue to leave. I nodded to myself, turned to leave, but a thought made me halt, “You don’t happen to know Joshua, do you?”

Seungkwan laughed as Woozi glared at me, staying silent as he took a gulp of the tea, “Who is Joshua?”

I shook my head as I started to walk away, “Just a tourist, like you two.”

And these tourists seemed to have a lot of money as they tipped me even better than Joshua did yesterday. It made up for the few dollars Sehun, accidentally as he said, forgot to pay.

The third time more strangers showed up, it was the afternoon and more people populated the Inn this time. When the first man entered, he seemed lost and confused, it almost made me laugh. You could hear the bell chime, but the loud chatter of men and women slowly would grow louder and louder. This stranger seemed like he didn’t know if he wanted to stay or not, so I approached him.

“Good evening, would you like a seat at the table or at the bar?” I asked with a smile, raising my eyebrows when the man remained silent for a few minutes.

“I’m with someone…” He trailed off and I hummed, looking around for an empty table. I found one next to a bigger group of people that were the loudest in the Inn so far, and I led the stranger to it. He thanked me quietly and looked around awkwardly.

“Anything you’d like to have?” I raised my eyebrows and he looked back at me with a grimace.

“Bourbon, and do you have anything to eat?”

“Smashed potatoes and stew, as of now, if you wait longer the cook will return to prepare more dishes.” The stranger hummed and seemed to be thinking for a second.

“No, it’s fine, bring me two portions…please.” I smiled at him and nodded my head, walking to the bar. I prepared the glass of Bourbon and asked Aleksi to prepare two plates of smashed potatoes and stew. When I got back to the table, I placed the two glasses on top of it, and smiled at the man sitting there awkwardly.

“My name is Katie, if you need anything, just call out my name!” The stranger nodded and I left to gather the empty beer bottles from the loud table nearby. I placed them on my tray, there were at least six, and turned to walk back to the bar when my shoe got stuck in a misplaced floorboard and I was sent flying forward. I yelped and got ready to feel the hard floor, but instead I was hauled backwards, bottles clinking together, but none fell. A few eyes fell on us as I let out a deep breath, gaze connecting with Aleksi’s, who was shaking his head with a grimace. I let myself lean into the body that was holding me for a second, glad that I didn’t cause a bigger scene. The frame was taller and leaner than mine, the top of my head reached their shoulders. Big, calloused hands held my waist firmly and I jumped when the man chuckled from behind. I quickly stepped out of their hold and turned to thank them for their help. But when my eyes fell on his face, I was awestruck. I haven’t seen a man as handsome as him before. His nose was long and well defined, his lips plump. His dark eyebrows complimented his face nicely and his sharp eyes felt like they were staring into my soul. He stood there too, watching me, looking just as amazed. It was a weird feeling and I walked away giggling when Aleksi shouted my name. Their food was prepared and I cleared my throat before walking back over, subconsciously pushing the few stray strands that fell out of my braid behind my ear. The first stranger to enter stopped looking so awkward and he was actually smiling now as he conversed with the handsome stranger. When I got close enough to hear what they were saying, I couldn’t understand anything, they were talking in a different language I haven’t heard before.

“Dinner’s ready.” I cursed myself quietly for the breathy voice, but I couldn’t help it when the stranger looked at me so intently.

“I hope you like smashed potatoes and stew.” I said with an innocent smile as I placed the plate in front of the man that caught me from falling. He glanced at the food before looking back at me.

“Anything that you bring I will like.” His voice was light, but it had a deep ring to it, as he spoke. I chuckled, blinking rapidly before biting my lower lip. I knew the charm was working when a smirk crossed his lips and he stared at my lips.

“If you see anything else you’d like to have…” His eyes lit up with mischief, “Call for Katie.”

“I need a few tissues…” The other man muttered with a grimace, very displeased by the exchange happening between his friend and I.

“Anything, you say?” He sharp eyed man raised his eyebrows, ignoring his friend’s remark.

“As long as it’s on the menu…” I said with a chuckle, playing with the tray in my hands.

“Do you not have special treats here?”

“Only on Friday’s.” The stranger bit his lower lip and I smirked, feeling heated all of the sudden.

“If you have a list…put me on it as first,” I giggled and nodded my head, “The name’s Junhui.”

“Junhui.” I repeated after him, the two of us sharing a small smile, “Consider it already done.”

“Great.” He winked before grabbing his fork to eat his dinner, “Oh, and…I think Minghao asked for tissues?”

“Yeah, I did.” Minghao threw Junhui a glance before he offered me a small, uncomfortable, smile.

“Of course, one second!” I grinned at the two foreigners and went to the bar to grab a few tissues for them. I didn’t know who these two were, but I sure hoped they’d stay for a little longer. Were they with Joshua, Woozi, and Seungkwan? It could be possible, but they could be just tourists passing by. It’s not so rare. However, people stopped traveling so often out of fear of getting robbed. We haven’t had tourists in over a month. These five strangers felt…fishy. But what do I know? I’m just a waitress at an Inn.

Present time

I didn’t look up when the figure stopped in front of my prison cell. I knew it was an officer; a very familiar one; and that he would mock me. They couldn’t wait for someone to commit a crime so that they can torture them for it.

“Well, look at that!” The officer’s voice was mocking, like I expected it, “If it isn’t Katie…”

I didn’t react as I continued staring at my feet, trying to hide the shake of my body. It was from the cold, but the officer standing in front of me, made me realize just how real everything that happened was. How my death was closer each second.

“Won’t you look at me?” I didn’t want the officer to enter the cell, so I shook my head. He scoffed and hit something hard against the metal bars, the loud clank made me jump. The officer laughed loudly and I could feel his burning gaze on me.

“I told them all not to trust the little whore you are, now you’ll finally go where you belong to.” I bit my lower lip, palms clenching into fists as I tried to remain silent. If I spoke back, I’d die in a beating and not by getting hung. And quite frankly, I prefer getting hung in the town square. Maybe I’ll make headlines and my parents will see their only child is now dead.

There was a scoff before the officer started walking, his hard footsteps echoing around the place, “See you in hell, officer.”

Two weeks ago, Friday

The Inn was full of people. A local lousy band was playing some music, but the chatter and laughter of men and women was louder. There were no empty tables, some customers even sat on the front porch and enjoyed the party there. The staircase leading up to the lodge was also occupied by drunk men who didn’t find a table. Aleksi and Andrei worked at the bar, while Joy, Maria, Luna, and I rushed around the place, trying to please everyone. Fridays were the most hectic days besides Saturdays, when you couldn’t take even a second long break. It was hard to maneuver around drunk people, especially the dancing women, but thankfully I always found the safest route to the table I had to rush to. That table excluded the one where Sehun and his boys were sitting at, playing some card games and throwing money on the table. They even managed to charm into their gambling game a few men from the table next to theirs, men who were already poor and had nothing to offer. And they wouldn’t win as Sehun and his boys cheated at any given chance. He made a comment about how tonight I wore clean clothes instead of the rugs I’m usually in, when I was delivering their fifth round of expensive beer. I only glared at him and walked away before he could comment anything. Yes, it was true, I wore my most expensive dress tonight. It was white and no one in their right mind would wear it to a place like this one, where you can stain it easily, but I was expecting someone. Junhui. He said he would be here tonight…well, he didn’t explicitly say it, but it’s what he meant. And I glanced at the clock to see it hit midnight with him nowhere around. I was disappointed, but I couldn’t focus on what I was feeling as an old man gripped onto me. It was Mr. Lee, the biggest drunk of the town.

“Oh,” His eyebrows were furrowed and I grimaced at the foul scent, “Katie?”

I nodded and his eyes were barely open as he raised a hand, “Walk me to the exit!”

His slurred words were barely audible over the loudness inside the Inn, but he was a regular here, I already knew what he wanted. I called out for Joy, to ask her to take over the order from the table I just served, and placed one of Mr. Lee’s arms around my shoulders.

“Let’s get you out, old man.” I shouted and he grinned, his yellow teeth showing. We stumbled around the tables, hitting a few people on our way out, and I groaned when his stumbling made us run into the corner of the entrance. The old man laughed loudly and I threw him a glare, that I knew he couldn’t see, as we finally made it outside.

“Katie!” It was an officer, leaning against the railing, “Did you forget to bring me my beer?!”

“Of course, not!” I exclaimed as we walked around a half-asleep woman, “I asked Joy to deliver it to you.”

The officer grimaced and looked at Mr. Lee, leaving me the impression that he’d offer to help, but when he started laughing, I realized he wouldn’t help. He was here to have fun and suddenly what I was doing was entertaining him. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from throwing him a menacing glare and held Mr. Lee’s side as firmly as I could as we had to walk down the few stairs of the porch.

“Now, Mr. Lee—” I turned my head towards him, trying to gain his attention, “I need you to focus and keep your balance, alright? The stairs aren’t easy to conquer!”

“Conquer it all!” Mr. Lee exclaimed, making the people laugh who heard him, as he stumbled forward. I shrieked, unable to untangle myself from him, as he pulled me after him. We were supposed to tumble down the stairs, maybe twist an ankle or something, but I never made it down the stairs, unlike Mr. Lee. His feet became a tangled mess and he was rolling down the stairs, people hollering in laughter around us. My eyes widened as I watched the old man sprawl out on his back, mouth in a wide grin. He seemed amused by what happened but I feared his old bones weren’t strong enough for even a small fall like that one. No one seemed to want to help him up and as I went to step down the first stair, I realized someone was holding onto my waist tightly. My shoulders tensed and I turned my head, eyebrows furrowed. However, it wasn’t the person I was expecting to be, it was even better. Junhui. My eyes must have lit up because the man started smirking, squeezing my waist.

“Well, if it isn’t Katie…” He muttered smugly and I bit my lower lip, gazing into his eyes, “Do you stumble on purpose when I’m around? You want me to catch you?”

I giggled and did nothing to move out of his hold, “It’s not on purpose, but it certainly is more fun.”

“Just admit it—” I raised my eyebrows as Jun leaned his head a little down, “You want me to hold you.”

I raised my chin, to be closer to his face, and returned his little smirk, “Why would I want that when you could do other better things to me?”

Junhui’s eyes narrowed and I blinked up at him, my smirk turning innocent as he chuckled. His hold loosened on my waist as he opened his mouth to speak, but someone interrupted him.

“Is this how you treat your customers?” The officer’s voice rang out as I turned my head, “You leave an old man lying on the cold ground?”

I couldn’t help but throw him a glare as a second ago he wasn’t even willing to help.

“No need to cause a scene, now,” The soft voice alerted a few people as they turned towards the stranger standing next to Mr. Lee. It was Joshua, and he was helping the old man up, “You can’t expect a woman to carry around a drunk, heavy man, officer. Maybe if you helped before they stumbled this wouldn’t have happened.”

A few people started muttering as they threw Joshua various glances, making the officer’s jaw clench. Mr. Lee was on his feet and Joshua dusted his pants a little as the old man tried to stand straight.

“Will you find your way home?” Joshua asked politely, gripping Mr. Lee’s shoulder.

“Yes, sir, yes!” Mr. Lee did a slopy salute and everyone laughed, making Joshua smile. He returned the salute and Mr. Lee turned his body as he started singing loudly. He slowly started walking away and I moved out of Junhui’s hold.

“When did you arrive?” I asked as I faced him, ignoring the glares of the officer.

“A good hour ago.” Jun answered as Joshua approached us.

“Good evening.” He greeted politely and I giggled, letting him place a kiss against my knuckles. When Jun and Joshua shared a look, I realized they knew each other. And suddenly, standing a few feet away, were Seungkwan, Woozi, and Minghao. When my eyes connected with Woozi’s, I realized my suspicions were all along right. The five strangers knew each other, in fact, they traveled here together.

“Well,” I placed my hands on my hips, “Why did you stay outside?”

“There’s nowhere to sit.” Minghao answered with a pout and I rolled my eyes.

“Maybe if you would have tried looking for me, you would have found a table.” Woozi rolled his eyes as I threw them a displeased glare.

“Lead the way, lady, then.” He gestured inside the Inn and I grinned, gripping Joshua and Junhui’s arms to drag them after me. Once inside, the loudness of the Inn was almost deafening after having stood outside for so long. My eyes scanned the space, of course there were no empty tables, but I spotted some empty space at a table. I grinned to myself and lead the way, losing my grip on Junhui a few times as he seemed unable to keep up with my long strides. When we got to the table, it quieted down as Sehun threw his card on top of the stack with a grin.

“I win—”

“Excuse me, you’ll have to share your table!” I informed Sehun and his boys and didn’t wait for an answer as I pushed Joshua down into the empty seat, “You took the biggest table when you don’t even have enough people for it…now, you share it!”

I could hear Woozi cackle behind me as he passed by and patted a glaring Sehun on the back, plopping down next to Joshua. Minghao seemed reluctant to sit at the table but when I released my grip on Jun, he pulled his friend with him and sat them across from Woozi and Joshua.

“Seungkwan, is the name.” He extended his hand towards Sehun, who took it quickly and shook it, Seungkwan’s face all serious and cold. It was different from when him and Woozi came by, it seemed like he knew Sehun was the leader of the band of baboons and wanted to show him he wouldn’t put up with bullshit coming from them tonight. My eyes landed on Jun and he threw me a flirty wink, I blushed.

“Bring over your finest beer, Katie!” He cheered loudly and I chuckled, turning around to bring the beers for him and the rest.

The Inn was just as full as hours ago, however, it had quieted down a notch as the somewhat sober people headed home and the drunk ones remained. The lousy band departed a long time ago after we gave them free drinks, and finally all workers of the Inn could take a little break. My feet were killing me and the corset of this dress was a lot tighter than I initially thought it would be, my lungs were screaming to be released. But we still had two more hours of work, it had to wait. My eyes scanned over the empty tables, Joy and Luna have cleaned them up already, as they stopped on the biggest table. They were making a mess, three were standing on the table and singing loudly some old song, while the others continued playing cards between each other. Somehow, they got Jun and his friends involved into the game too, however, Sehun lost each round. Which made him angry and therefore it made him drink even more. He disappeared a while ago and I assumed he just went somewhere with a woman, like he does every time he’s here, and would return the next day. My eyes were drawn back at Junhui, who watched me closely the whole night, and I smiled at him. His sharp eyes narrowed before he looked down at his single card in his hand, then threw it on the table. Seungkwan and Woozi started cheering loudly as Junhui smirked and looked at me. He won again and Sehun’s friend pushed a smaller pouch of money onto the table, Woozi grabbed it greedily. I chuckled as Jun winked at me, then turned to look at his sleeping friend. Minghao’s head was resting on the table, he was sitting a bit further from them, as he slept. Joshua was walking around the Inn, which was surprising, and making conversation with people. He even had two men trailing after him as he conversed with various people, sometimes even offered to bring them drinks. Aleksi didn’t like it much, but when Joshua brought the money, they paid, over Aleksi stopped complaining.

“My break is up, go take a breather.” Luna’s voice caught my attention as she walked up to me, tying her small apron around her hips. I hummed and undid my own apron, throwing it at Andrei. He caught it with a hiss, throwing me a small glare. I just shrugged and walked around the counter, downing the glass of water he placed there for me. Andrei and I had a complicated relationship, we weren’t on good terms but we looked out for each other. He helped me get this job when I moved into town but after we started working together, we realized how annoying the other was. I downed another glass of water in one good, humming in appreciation as the water finally washed over the dryness of my throat. My dress had a small pocket, I sew it there, and I tapped it to see if it still contained what I have placed there at the beginning of my shift. When I felt the thick object, I headed to the backdoor and pushed it open, the chilly air of morning greeting me. It was refreshing to be outside after a night of running around and pleasing everyone, I would have to wash up before going to sleep as I had sweat more than usual this time. I fished the match and tobacco out of my little pocket, leaning against the wooden planks of the Inn. I lit the match and placed the tobacco in my mouth, sucking on it hard to make it light up. Tobacco was expensive, I would smoke it from time to time if the girls had it, but Junhui and his friends left so much money during their visits that I could finally afford to buy one for myself. The taste burned the back of my neck and I coughed quietly as I let it settle, blowing out the smoke. Finally, I had time to think and rest. I was expecting Junhui to approach me at some point of the night, but all he did was constantly order drinks and he’d refuse to take them unless it was me serving them. I could feel the tension between him and Sehun, as both were immersed in playing cards, and both were cheating. Sehun finally found his match. I chuckled when I remembered how pissed Sehun looked after the third round was won by Jun once again, and looked at my half-finished tobacco. I quickly put it out, not wanting to smoke it in one go. I could save it for later when I was chilling in my room. I placed it back into my pocket and leaned my head against the wooden planks, staring up at the starry sky. It was turning a lighter shade as the sun would soon rise. My quiet peace of moment came to an end when someone’s body heat invaded mine. I straightened up as I looked the person in the eyes, grimacing.

“Finally got you alone…” Sehun’s raspy voice was low, his eyes were narrowed as he still wasn’t sober enough.

“Did you want to get me alone?” I raised my eyebrows, off-thrown by his statement.

“Well…what do you think?” He asked with a chuckle, leaning one hand against the Inn, trapping me between him and the wall.

“I think…” I bit my lower lip, glancing away, “That you’re really annoying and a douchebag.”

Sehun started laughing as I looked back at him with a glare, crossing my arms in front of my chest, “Come on…stop playing so hard to get now. I know you dressed up just for me—”

“What?!” I snapped outraged, scoffing, “You wish, rich filth, I don’t give a damn about you!”

“You’re always so rude!” Sehun suddenly exclaimed, and I jumped before I quickly pushed him back. His tallness was intimidating and he used it to his advantage as he stepped back and gripped onto my hair.

“Let go!” I screamed, clawing at his arm, trying to free myself.

“I’m going to teach you a lesson.” He hissed out and my eyes widened when I felt his other hand trying to undo the front of my dress. I yelped and gripped his hand, pushing him again. His grip on my hair was painful as I struggled against him but I didn’t care, I wanted to free myself.

“Sehun!” I yelped when he gripped my jaw tightly and slammed me against the wooden planks, my head colliding with them. I groaned and fisted his shirt, trying to still push him away. This wasn’t anything new, men did this often, but I didn’t want his filthy hands on me. Especially since it was Sehun. I knew he’d be bragging about it to everyone, I didn’t want this. Suddenly, there was a new voice that exclaimed in a different language and I struggled more against Sehun, knowing who it was.

“Piece of shit!” This time I understood what he said, and the next second Sehun was pushed off me. Junhui and Sehun stared up each other and in a swift motion, Junhui landed a punch to his jaw. Sehun stumbled backwards, clutching the area, as he turned to look at me.

“Whore.” Was all he said before he turned around and ran off. I scoffed and spat on the ground, angered by his words.

“You throw yourself at me but I’m the whore?!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, hopeful that everyone would hear it, as I took deep breaths to calm myself.

“Katie,” Junhui’s voice was soft and I looked at him taken aback, “Did he hurt you?”

“Nothing I’m not used to…” I muttered and undid the ribbon that kept my braid together. Junhui followed my hands with his eyes as I ran my fingers through my wavy hair, massaging the back of my head where I hit it.

“Does he bother you often?” Junhui continued asking and I shook my head with a sigh.

“Not like this.” I answered and attempted to smooth down my, now wrinkled, dress. Why did I even wear it? Junhui is just a tourist, he will be soon gone, and for all I know, he might just be a little bit overly flirty. Why do I always assume people find me attractive?

“Tell me where he lives and I’ll make sure he won’t set foot inside this place ever again.” Junhui’s sharp eyes were narrowed and I laughed as I leaned back against the wooden planks.

“You’re funny!”

“I’m being serios.” I chuckled embarrassed and looked away from Jun, gazing at my feet. He sighed and approached me, taking Sehun’s previous place. This time, I wasn’t bothered. I went stiff when his hands ran up my arms and hovered over my chest. I looked up into his eyes and he gulped as he averted his gaze.

“He undid it…” He muttered, voice weak, and I smiled, “It’s a—pretty dress.”

I giggled and looked down to see his fingers delicately tying the dress back together, “Thank you, I wore it because I hoped you’d come tonight.”

Junhui paused and I smiled at him innocently, “You did ask me to sign you up as first customer on the ‘special treats’ list, didn’t you?”

Junhui opened his mouth to say something but he couldn’t as he gulped again, it made me giggle once again. I took his hands away from the top of my dress and placed them around my hips, pulling Jun into me.

“It seems like you really like holding me.” I teased him with a grin and he rolled his eyes, sneaking his arms around my hips tightly. His eyes dropped onto my lips and I quickly licked them, pressing up onto my tip toes to connect our lips. My eyes fluttered closed as Junhui’s lips pressed back against mine eagerly. His lips were cold and rough, he tasted like all the alcohol he’s been drinking all night, but I wasn’t bothered. My arms sneaked around his shoulders as I urged him to lean lower down so that I wouldn’t have to stand on my toes and made a surprised noise when he tried to push his tongue into my mouth. His scent was mixed with sweat and aloe vera, a very weird scent indeed. I opened my mouth to grant him access and he moaned as he sucked on my tongue, making me suck in a harsh breath. He pushed me up against the wooden planks, trapping me further between himself and the Inn, my body curving up into his. I moaned and pulled on the ends of his hair when he groped my breast through my dress, squeezing it appreciatively. Perhaps I wasn’t so wrong this time, this handsome stranger might have found me pretty attractive as he still hasn’t pushed me away.

One week ago, Monday

The Inn was closed for today, Aleksi wanted to do a thorough clean as Saturday’s little party left a big mess. Besides, he now had enough money to repair the bathroom for the workers and rebuild the back of the barn, where the wooden planks had rotten over time. Andrei and him were busy, they probably wouldn’t finish by dusk but with the money, he could afford to call over a few men tomorrow to finish the construction instead of them. Only Luna and I worked today, as they other girls asked for a free day and well…I live upstairs, so I really had no excuse but to come and work. And Luna…she hates her husband nowadays so she spends most of her time at the Inn with me. Which kind of brought us closer, I didn’t really have friends in this town. I didn’t have the time nor the energy to invest it into making connections.

I let a sigh fall from my lips as I finally finished scrubbing the floor clean, it was practically shinning now. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it this clean…what a pity it’ll be ruined by tomorrow. Luna was singing along to the soft tunes of the radio, cleaning off the storage room as she had finished with the bar already.

“You’re in a good mood.” I commented as I raised to my feet, approaching the woman. She glanced back at me with a cheeky smile before giggling.

“Indeed, I am.”

“Well…won’t you tell me why?” I pressed on, my curious nature pushing through. Luna sighed before she turned to face me, leaning against the shelf.

“Yunho was called to work in the mines that are five hours from here.” She answered with a grin, sighing dreamily, “I finally get to be on my own—for two months!”

I chuckled and raised my eyebrows, feeling a little confused, “Isn’t that bad though? Working in mines is dangerous nowadays…”

“Oh, please!” She exclaimed, rolling her eyes as she turned back to the shelf to continue scrubbing it, “I don’t even care if he never comes back. He’s a sick bastard! I’m done bending to his wishes, everything is about him all the time!”

I hummed and rubbed my hands together, trying to warm them after they froze from having to rub the floor with cold water, “Didn’t you marry him because you loved him?”

“That was five years ago!” Luna laughed, shaking her head, “Nothing lasts forever, you know, Y/N…”

I hummed and bit my lower lip, thoughts flying to Junhui. Indeed, nothing lasts forever. I’m not even sure he’s still in town. After we kissed, he left without a word and by the time I went inside, everyone who came with him were also gone. It was really disappointing, I thought I’d get to spend more time with him. Maybe, get to know him better, maybe, we’d end up sending letters to each other. It was nice to dream.

“Y/N?” I looked at Luna questioningly, not having heard what she said, “I asked…how are things going with lover boy?”

“Lover boy?” I asked confused, thoughts instantly swerving to Sehun. Maybe she heard me scream after him or maybe Sehun already started spreading lies about what happened.

“The handsome foreigner!” Luna exclaimed, coming to stand in front of me, and gripped my hands into hers, “Please! I saw the looks you exchanged and—”

“And…what?” I urged her on to speak as I watched a mischievous smirk spread on the woman’s lips.

“And…I saw you two having that very fiery make-out behind the Inn on Friday.” My cheeks suddenly felt hot and I averted my eyes from Luna’s, looking anywhere but at her.

“Look who’s shy now!” Luna teased and I rolled my eyes, snatching my hands out of hers.

“Shut up…” I muttered embarrassed, taking a few steps away from her.

“Honey, I’m glad you’re finally enjoying yourself. All you do is work and run away from people—”

“That’s not true!” I opposed with a scowl but Luna just chuckled.

“Sure, honey…besides, he seemed like a genuine man.”

“Yeah,” I sighed, hearing the front doorbell ring, “He’s also probably gone by now and I’m—”

“Anyone there?” My throat closed up and my eyes went wide as Luna smirked, retreating back inside the storage room.

“Go!” She whisper-shouted, quietly closing the door. I scoffed but walked to the front quickly, eyes falling on the tall young man. He wore clean clothes, his hair was a bit tousled, and he held his hat in his hands in front of his torso.

“Hello,” I offered him a shy smile, “We’re currently closed, maybe tomorrow—”

“I’m not here to drink.” Junhui’s words cut me off and I gulped, hope filling my thoughts. Was he here to see me? Maybe he’ll ask me to go with him on his journey? Will I finally be free?!

“I heard there’s a lodge attached to this Inn; I’d like to rent a room for a few days.” Oh. I cleared my throat and tried to mask how disappointed I felt hearing his words.

“Yeah, you heard right, Junhui, we have a lodge…” I muttered and went to the bar, “What kind of room do you want?”

“Fitting for a person.” He answered quickly as he came closer, leaning against the counter as I crouched down to search for the keys.

“One person?” I asked as I grabbed one key, “Aren’t you traveling in five?”

Jun looked away before clearing his throat, “The others are staying somewhere else, I—didn’t find a room there—”

“Right.” I gave him a look as I straightened up. He was lying, I knew it by the way he avoided eye contact and played with his fingers. But who was I to ask anything? He was acting like the kiss didn’t even happen, so, I didn’t know how else to act but oblivious.

“Follow me.” I called as I walked around the counter and headed for the stairs leading upstairs. Junhui was hot on my tail and I glanced back to see him raise an eyebrow at me.

“Anything wrong?” He asked wonderingly and I shook my head, biting my lower lip.

“No, nothing in particular,” I lied as we went up to the third floor, “Just—aren’t you afraid to travel during these times?”

“Why? Should I be?” Junhui asked with a chuckle and I shrugged again as we came into the long hallway, on both sides, numerous doors stood to our service.

“The sheriffs have estimated the group of five bandits was headed this town…and…well, no one has been really traveling ever since they started robbing out of fear of getting robbed as well.” I spoke as I lead Junhui down the long hallway.

“Are you trying to assume something here?” Jun asked with a chuckle, but his voice held an accusatory undertone to it, and I shrugged again. We stopped in front of room nr. 888 and I pushed the key into the hole to unlock the door.

“I don’t know…does it sound like I’m assuming something?” I muttered, more to myself, as Jun walked in after me, “I don’t know, honestly…It’s just weird the five of you show up here, you are strangers to this town, and one of you is called Seungkwan. Don’t you think? I’m not trying to accuse you of anything, I’ve just been thinking—”

The door was suddenly slammed closed behind me and Junhui was standing in front of me in a second, his hand gripping my neck tightly as I was walked backwards and into the door. The collision wasn’t as harsh as with Sehun, Junhui’s eyes have darkened and his expression was fierce, but I didn’t feel threatened right now.

“Thinking is dangerous, Y/N…” My eyes widened a bit at the hearing of my real name, Jun’s lips pulled into a cocky smirk.

“How do you know?” I whispered, feeling a bit lightheaded by the hold he had on my neck but also by his closeness. He still carried the scent of aloe verra and it was so foreign that it felt intoxicating.

“From Joshua, of course,” Junhui chuckled and I gripped his wrist, trying to loosen his grip, “Now…this can go two ways, sweetheart. You either shut up and keep this revelation to yourself or—I will have to get rid of you…”

“What?!” I exclaimed quietly, eyes growing wider than ever before, the air leaving my lungs from shock, “You’re—the—bandits—”

“Why are you acting so surprised?” Junhui chuckled as his finger started stroking the skin of my neck, “Didn’t you just accuse me of—”

Junhui stopped talking, realizing his mistake, and I remained gaping.

“I didn’t accuse you of anything! I was just…assuming?” Junhui hissed and closed his eyes, letting go of my neck. I rubbed the skin with my own hand and took two deep breaths, watching a distressed Junhui.

“Fuck!” He hissed to himself, opening his eyes to look at me. He didn’t step back, and I didn’t move away either. I wanted to be close to him.

“Listen, I—”

“If you tell anyone, Y/N, I swear I will kill you.” His voice dropped octaves and became dangerous, finally, I felt like a prey and a shiver ran down my spine, “I don’t care how pretty and nice you are—I will kill you.”

Realization dawned on me, that in fact, the man standing in front of me wasn’t any kind of tourist. He really is part of the bandit group. He is a bandit, himself. I gulped and licked my lips, trying to mask how nervous I felt.

“I won’t tell anyone—”

“How can I know that?” He snapped, but it felt like he was more frustrated with himself than me.

“I—” I huffed, running a hand through my hair, “You can’t. You will have to trust me, I guess.”

“But can I trust you?” Junhui’s gaze latched onto mine and I felt hypnotized.

“Maybe.” I muttered and my eyes fell on his lips when he sighed out. I knew he saw it when he took a tiny step, to be even closer to me.

“What if…” A smirk came onto his lips and my heart started racing as he looked me up and down, “I offer you something in exchange of keeping our secret?”

My skin felt on fire when Junhui’s fingers trailed over my exposed collarbones, coming to rest on the front of my dress, “I don’t need anything to keep your—”

My words got muffled by Junhui’s lips pressing on mine and I reacted instantly, fingers curling into his hair. The next thing I knew, I was naked, and then, Junhui’s naked body was laying on top of mine, moving in sink with mine. I tried to keep quiet, but no one’s ever made me feel what Junhui did. My heart was beating furiously the whole time and Junhui’s skin felt on fire as he kissed my lips hungrily. And then, I realized, maybe I liked this man a little bit too much. This bandit…how was I going to let go of him now?

One week ago, Wednesday

It was lunch time but the Inn was unnaturally buzzing with people. Most people only came in to get their shot of vodka for the day, but some came to have lunch. Most were working men from the market as this was all they could afford; the Inn wasn’t expensive and they loved it here. I wiped a few glasses clean as Andrei poured some liquor into three tall glasses, calling out my name.

“What?” I muttered as I walked over, looking at him tiredly. I haven’t slept much ever since Junhui’s last visit. My heart raced every time I thought of him and what we had done, and I couldn’t help it but feel sad. Now I knew he was one of the bandits, I never even considered telling anyone, but I knew once they made their robbery they would leave and I’d have no one once again. I longed to have someone who would comfort me and love me, but I accepted that I just wasn’t meant to experience these things. Junhui’s room was right above mine and him walking around and dragging something heavy against the floor for the past two nights made it also hard to sleep.

“Our little new friends ordered these.” Andrei’s finger was pointing at a table of five people. Seungkwan, Woozi, Joshua, Minghao, Jun. I hummed and took the glasses placed on a tray and walked over to their table. Their previous conversation ceased as all eyes fell on me and I gulped nervously as I placed the glasses on their table.

“A bit early to be drinking liquor, isn’t it?” I tried to joke, ease the tension, but it didn’t do anything. Seungkwan and Woozi were glaring daggers at me and it actually scared me, even Joshua had a cold expression as he reached for a glass. Minghao wasn’t paying attention to me as he was muttering something to himself, he was also scribbling something on a paper. And Junhui sighed quietly and placed a hand on my waist to squeeze it swiftly, before grabbing a glass to drink the liquor from it.

“Well…” I cleared my throat and turned to walk away, “Raise your hands if you need anything else.”

“What I need is you keeping your damn mouth shut.” Woozi’s voice was low as he snapped and I bit my lower lip, trying to hold back the tremor of my hands. He was scary, too scary, as he stared me dead in the eyes with the most vicious glare I have ever seen.

“Seriously!” Junhui snapped, slamming a fist onto the table, “I told you I took care of her!”

“How?” Woozi chuckled and Minghao glanced at Junhui then at me, and then proceeded to ignore what was happening.

“I have my ways—”

“Pushing your dick down someone’s throat is not a very convincing way, Junhui.” This time it was Seungkwan who snapped and I gulped, averting my eyes at the accusation. That didn’t happen, even if we had sex. It wasn’t their business what Junhui and I do behind closed doors.

“Shut up.” Junhui snapped, his eyes glaring at both Woozi and Seungkwan threateningly, “Don’t mind them, go do your work.”

I nodded my head slightly and then bolted back to the counter, coming to stand next to Andrei. He was preparing a few drinks and I placed the tray down for him to take when he was done. I went to wash my hands and took deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart and push back the tears that threatened to escape my eyes. I wasn’t expecting their personalities to take such a turn, but I guess I was a threat to them now. I wouldn’t tell anyone, but I guess they couldn’t just blindly trust me like that. Maybe they are planning my death and that’s why they are here, to observe my every move. I groaned at my thoughts and ran my fingers through my wavy hair, deciding to braid it really quick. I was fed up with always getting disrespected by men and I hated how they could always make comments freely without anyone telling them they were inappropriate. If I wasn’t afraid of Woozi and Seungkwan, I would’ve told them a piece of my mind, but once again, that’s never a good idea.

The bell chimed and I looked up to see two officers walking in. One was the same officer who was here on Friday night and didn’t help with Mr. Lee. His eyes swept over the place as the other officer walked around the tables which were occupied. The familiar officer, however, was headed straight our way. Andrei groaned and gave me a side glance.

“Did you do something?” He hissed lowly and I shook my head quickly, straightening my back when the officer stopped across from us.

“Hello.” Andrei greeted with a half-hearted smile and I bowed my head a little bit, eyes falling on the other officer for a split second. He was talking to everyone who was sitting at the tables and I suddenly felt hotter, like I was inside an oven.

“Yeah, yeah…” The officer muttered rudely and then placed a crumbled piece of paper on the counter for us to see. It was the newspaper from last week, the one that was talking about the five bandits headed our town.

“I’m sure you all know by now the bandits are headed this way, have you seen any suspicious movements? Heard anything?” The officer continued and I was itching to look towards the table Junhui was sitting at, but I was afraid it would trigger something in the officer that would make him realize it was them.

“Not really,” Andrei shrugged his shoulders, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “People say a lot of crazy things, but nothing about the bandits.”

“And you?” The officer’s eyes landed on me and I gulped nervously, hiding my trembling hands behind my back as I corrected my posture and opened my mouth to speak.

“There’s five strangers here,” The other officer approached us, cutting me off before I could even say something, “They say they arrived last week and will be leaving this Friday. Apparently, they are some travelers looking for some old artifacts or something like that.”

“Yes,” I spoke up before anyone could say anything else, I cringed at how loud my voice sounded suddenly, “They told me the same thing. I heard they found some old vases in one of their researches! They’ve been renting a room here, even attended the parties last week.”

I made sure to maintain eye contact with the officers as best as I could, to keep my voice leveled and my expression clear and soft. My heart was beating like crazy and my hands were shaking a lot more now, but I tried to ignore those. If I said anything wrong their cover would be screwed up and then I for sure would be dead by tomorrow. Andrei gave me a confused glance but when the officers looked at him questioningly, to confirm what I said, he just shrugged.

“I was on a leave for the past month, only returned recently, so what she says must be true.” I almost sighed out in relief but managed to catch myself before doing it.

“Very well then,” One of the officer’s said as his eyes ran over the place again, my eyes followed his and I smiled a little when I saw Junhui’s table laughing about something, clanking their glasses together, no doubt pretending like they were having fun.

“We’ll be going.” The same officer spoke and turned around to leave. The familiar officer gave me a look, as if he sensed I was lying, but turned and walked out with his partner. I finally relaxed and let a breath out, I felt Andrei’s confused gaze on me.

“Did you lie to them?” He asked skeptically, going back to doing what he was before the officers interrupted us.

“What? Why would I?” I scoffed and wiped my brows, unaware of the sweat that has accumulated there. Andrei just shrugged in response and my eyes inevitably fell on Junhui’s table. Joshua and Minghao were gone but I made eye contact with Woozi. He raised his glass, an amused smirk on his lips, as he tilted it in my direction. Seungkwan also looked smug and when I made eye contact with Junhui I felt a sense of calmness wash over me, as if I just passed an important evaluation. I guess Woozi and Seungkwan were pleased that I didn’t rat them out. When the doorbell chimed again, Joshua and Minghao were holding some big bags in both of their hands as they walked inside. Junhui rose from the table and he played with the keys to his room as he approached the two men, leading the way upstairs. He gave me one last look, and a tiny smile, before all three men disappeared upstairs. I let out a small sigh and took the tray with the drinks when Andrei complained about me being as slow as a snail. They were planning something, and suddenly I was feeling uneasy about knowing who they really were. Was I putting myself in danger indirectly?

Present time

My head snapped up at the sudden sounds echoing through the cold hallway. It sounded like two people struggling and the echo that carried their words here made no sense. My heart started beating quickly and my fingers latched onto the cold bars of the prison cell. I didn’t know what was happening and when keys startled rattling, I knew the end has come for me. This was it; I was going to die at the age of twenty-five for being the accomplice of a robbery. I shut my eyes closed tightly and took deep breaths as heavy footsteps neared me, the sound almost maddening as it felt like forever. I didn’t dare look nor breathe when I felt eyes on me, I didn’t even know how to react. I didn’t want to show fear, but when the cell was unlocked, my whole body started trembling. And then I couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

“Please!” My voice broke, but I still tried to speak, “I didn’t know! I swear I wasn’t helping them—”

I yelped when a strong grip on my forearm yanked me forward, and I didn’t want to open my eyes, but I was afraid I was going to fall and proceed to look even worse.

“Calm down.” My heart somersaulted at the calming voice and my eyes snapped open. Before I could control myself, I jumped into Junhui’s arms, gripping his shirt like my life depended on him. Quite ironically, it did depend on him right now.

“What are you doing here?!” I gasped, unable to let go of him, I was afraid I’d collapse to the ground.

“To get you out, of course.” Jun’s voice was hurried as I felt him move around before pushing me slightly off him, “I know you’re scared, but we have to go now, if we want to get away. Can you gather yourself and do as I say?”

I was still shaking but I took a deep breath and tried to reassure myself that I was capable of doing this. If I didn’t, I would die. And I wasn’t ready to die, not yet, not when I had Junhui in front of me.

“Yes.” We made eye contact and Jun’s lips pulled into a small smile, he patted my head affectionately. I stepped away from him and Jun’s eyes ran over my body quickly, stopping on the end of my skirt. I looked down confused and got even more confused when he kneeled down and gripped the fabric.

“You can’t run in this.” He muttered and suddenly, my dress was getting torn apart. I gasped but didn’t try to stop him, he was right, the long skirt didn’t offer much mobility for my legs. Jun ripped the fabric up until my knees, the feeling was weird, I supposed the dress now looked really ugly. It wasn’t just dirty, but torn too. Junhui stood up and remained still for a second, but then he pressed a quick kiss against my lips and my heart started racing. Did this mean I was going with them?

“Let’s go.” An excited grin appeared on his lips and I took his extended hand, but couldn’t share his enthusiasm. I was supposed to die a few minutes ago, I was still supposed to be dead, if they catch us for the second time. My heart raced as Junhui ran us through the hallways, towards the door through which light flooded the dark and cold dungeon. We were breaking free.

Earlier today, around 9 a.m.

My attention was drawn towards the ruckus coming from the stairs that led upstairs. Aleksi was in the storage room so I allowed myself to abandon washing the dishes and walk to the stairs to see what was happening. My lips formed into a pout as I watched Woozi pull a heavy looking bag after him on the floor, which was the one causing the ruckus. My eyebrows furrowed as I watched him confused while he descended the stairs.

“What are you doing?” I asked, curiosity lacing my tone. Woozi’s head snapped up and he looked at me, his eyes narrowed into intimidating slits. I gulped and pushed myself away from the railing, not wanting to piss him off so early in the morning.

“None of your business.” He snapped with authority in his voice and I nodded once, stepping away.

“Right, sorry…” I muttered and went back to washing the dishes, ignoring the second pair of boots that loudly descended the stairs. The front door opened and Woozi was outside, leaving me alone in the Inn with Junhui. I didn’t turn around when I felt his eyes on me, if Aleksi was to come back now and see that I wasn’t doing my duties, he’d be really angry.

“Y/N,” Junhui quietly called out, knowing it was just the two of us inside for now, “I have something to ask of you.”

I sighed but didn’t turn around to face him, “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything to anyone. Even after you disappear…I’ll bring this secret with myself to my grave, I suppose.”

Junhui hummed and remained silent for a few seconds before I heard him sighing, “That’s not what I wanted to ask of you…today…just stay around the Inn, alright? If you want to walk around town, just stay here instead, it’s safer.”

“Whatever you say.” I muttered, drying my hands as I finished washing the dishes.

“And…I wish we had more time to spend together…” I turned to face Junhui, and was surprised when he actually looked sad, “Your company is really pleasant, I think…I think we could have been something more…”

I chuckled and crossed my arms in front of my chest, ignoring the pang in my chest, “Well, yeah…our lifestyles don’t match, I guess. Don’ worry, this happens all the time. I’m sure you’ll find a pretty woman in the next town and forget about me…I’m better off alone, after all.”

Junhui didn’t comment anything further, he just gulped and nodded his head in agreement. The words I said didn’t fit well with me, but after all, I was just saying the truth. I haven’t known this man for long, but he was the first one to respect my boundaries and the first one who didn’t look down on me. It was a nice feeling, but nothing lasts forever.

“Goodbye.” He whispered and I offered him a last smile, disappointed we were parting ways this way.

“Goodbye, Junhui.” His lips pulled into a tight line at the hear of his name and he walked away with a sigh, not looking back. I pursed my lips and looked around the empty place, what if I went with him? Would the others allow me to join him? Would I want to become a bandit myself? But before I could dwell more on these thoughts, Aleksi was standing right next to me.

“Why are you standing there and doing nothing?” He raised his eyebrows and I cleared my throat, evening my expression.

“The guy who occupied room nr.888 just left, I’ll go clean up.” I muttered to Aleksi and walked around the counter, headed for the stairs.

“Good, and after that, go to the market,” He extended his hand and pushed a piece of paper into my hand, “We are running low on a few supplies.”

“Sure…” I muttered and placed the piece of paper into my small pocket, heading up the stairs.

Earlier today, around 1 p.m.

It was a sunny day and the hot sun shone down on us. I was covered in sweat already and I have barely left the Inn five minutes ago. The market was just around the corner so I didn’t have to walk much, which was to my benefit as I wouldn’t have to carry the heavy things for a long time. The market was buzzing with people, sellers and buyers, and the cacophony was worse than most nights at the Inn. I avoided bumping into a woman and her three children as I side stepped them and my eyes fell on the National Bank from across the street. People were coming and going casually, everyone minding their own business. I sighed and stopped at the first stand to buy the vegetables Aleksi had written on the list. My eyes fell on the blonde-haired boy sitting to the back, in the shadow, and I smiled at him.

“Miss Katie!” He exclaimed with a smile, offering me a small wave.

“Enjoying your day off, Little James?” I asked with a chuckle and the young boy nodded with a grin.

“The kid runs so fast he delivers the newspaper way faster than I ever could,” Big James spoke up as he filled my bag with potatoes, “Figured he deserved a day off.”

“That’s nice of you,” I said politely, handing him the money, “He’s a hard-working kid!”

“Like you, Katie!” Big James winked at me and I walked away with a small laugh, eyes falling on the flower stand. It was standing on the side of the Bank and I couldn’t help it but walk there. I always loved flowers, sometimes I would buy some and sneak them inside my room. Aleksi didn’t know about them because I bought them from the money, he gave me to purchase the items he needed. If he were to find out, I’d probably be kicked out, something I didn’t wish for.

“Hello!” The lady offered me a warm smile and I bowed my head in greeting as I touched the petals of the lilies. They were beautiful and I let out a small sigh, glancing down at the money in my other hand. Should I buy some for myself? Would Aleksi notice this time? He didn’t give me much money, maybe I shouldn’t—suddenly screams erupted and as I looked towards the noise, a loud BANG went off and next thing I knew I was thrown to the ground. My side was throbbing as I lay on the sandy ground and my ears were ringing like never before. I was shocked to see people laying on the ground around me, even some of the flowers littered around me. I was confused as I pushed myself up to all fours, trying to gain a sense of the situation. What has happened? Why does everyone look so scared and disoriented and why can’t I hear anything expect the ringing in my ears? I tried to get up to my feet, but I felt a little light headed so I took deep breaths, closing my eyes. But next thing I knew, someone crashed into my body and I cried out, my side throbbing even more. The person said something, I couldn’t understand from the ringing still going on, and then I was roughly hauled up and I froze when I felt something cold pressing against my temple. Suddenly, I became aware of the sirens in the distance and I became even more scared when I saw various vendors pointing their shotguns in my direction. I didn’t understand what was happening, why was I being held at gunpoint? The voices started coming back, my hearing clearing, and then I understood everything.

“If anyone dares to move even one inch, I will shoot this woman to death!” My capturer screamed at the top of his lungs, squeezing my side, making me cry out in pain. The body holding me was solid and firm, I wanted to look who was holding me, but I was afraid if I moved, I’d be dead.

“Leave Katie alone and we can talk this through!” It was Big James, his eyes were narrowed, he was the only one not pointing his shotgun at me directly.

My capturer laughed crazily behind me and I shivered, “You think I’ll fall for that?!”

I whimpered and turned my head slightly when he pressed his chin, which was covered with something, against my cheek, “If you don’t come with me, I will kill you.”

My lips were trembling and I raised my hands in surrender, showing everyone, I was unarmed, “He—he said he’ll—let me go, if—if you don’t shoot—”

The man holding me made an appreciative sound and pulled his head away from me, “Move and you’ll never see Katie again!”

I whimpered again, biting my lower lip when his hand left my side to grip my forearm. The grip was strong and I felt fragile as the man started running, pulling me after him. The shotguns went off and I cried out in fear of getting hit by a bullet, but the man holding me swerved around and made us run behind the bank. As we were running, my eyes fell on the side of the building, and I was shocked to see a huge hole in it. They blew up the bank! These were the bandits! Eyes falling on the man that finally slowed down as we came to a stop next to a black car, I realized it was Woozi. I jumped when he opened the backdoor and pushed me inside harshly, making me hit my face in the cushion. Suddenly, he was sitting inside and the engine of the car was ignited to life and put into movement. I sat up straight in the seat, I’ve never sat inside a car before, my whole-body trembling in fear as I bit my lower rip, trying to stop myself from crying. It was quiet inside the car and I realized five men were sitting inside. Three in the front, the seats were connected, and two on the backseat with me. I knew immediately who they were and it made me more fearful.

“Will—will you kill me?” I choked out and one whipped his head around, his eyes being the only thing I could see through the rag that he wore as a mask to protect his identity.

“I don’t know, should we?” I shook my head furiously ‘no’ and someone hissed.

“Stop fucking around with her! She’s already scared shitless!” Junhui snapped from the driver’s seat and my heart started thumping furiously.

“Why did you even take her?” Joshua’s soft voice was cold and I looked down at my lap.

“She was good distraction, I only got away because the town people didn’t want to shoot her.” Woozi said and suddenly Seungkwan started cackling loudly, throwing his head back. I didn’t understand what was so funny but I didn’t want to find out.

“What are we going to do with her?” Minghao muttered, glancing at me from beside me. I looked away and prayed to myself no one would say ‘kill her’.

“We’ll think about that later!” Junhui snapped before the others could say anything else. And then suddenly, loud sirens could be heard coming from behind us and I turned my head to see the sheriff’s car chasing after ours. Then gunshots rang through, the boys screamed at each other inside the car, and then all I could remember was a loud screeching noise, and the car in the air flipping over. Then, I woke up in a prison cell all alone, hurt and scared.

Present time

Junhui and I had to be silent as we ran through the corridors of the station, having successfully escaped from the dungeon. Jun was guiding me from behind and as we rounded the corner, I ran into a solid body. My cry was silent as my face was pressed into the chest of the man, but before I could start further panicking and making a scene, Junhui pulled me away and I saw it was Joshua. He gave me a glare before exchanging a glance with Junhui and disappearing around the corner.

“What are we doing?” I whispered confused to Jun, raising my eyebrows at him as I pressed myself up against the wall.

“Breaking out.” Junhui answered with a chuckle, looking around the corner. Then he gripped my hand into his and we were running down the long hallway once again, coming to a stop in front of the closed door.

“Listen, once we get out…nothing is guaranteed. Are you ready to make this commitment?” Junhui’s voice was low, warning but reassuring at the same time. I took a deep breath and looked into his eyes as I let the breath out slowly.

“Do you promise not to abandon me then? Will you let me become one of you?” I whispered at Jun, squeezing his hand.

“We don’t have much of a choice, do we?” A smirk pulled onto his lips and I mirrored him, suddenly feeling excited about the promise of a new life.

The door got cracked open suddenly and I jumped scared, looking at Jun, “If you’re done being disgusting, take this.”

It was Woozi and he pushed a handgun into my hand, then another one. I looked at Junhui confused as he took one but left the other for me.

“Don’t shoot any of us—the rest we don’t care about.” My mouth fell open as Woozi opened the door and pulled me outside, shielding my body as he looked around.

“Coast is clear.” He muttered almost so quietly I didn’t hear him, “We only have to get to that car.”

It was the sheriff’s car and it was a good one-hundred-fifteen meters away from where we were standing. I readied myself to run, when suddenly a bullet wheezed past our heads. I screamed and ducked down, Junhui and Woozi forming a barrier around me.

“Fuck, they noticed too quickly!” Junhui hissed as we were ducking behind some old wood kept for heating in the winter.

“Whatever, we have to go!” Woozi shook his head and turned his head to look at me, “You start running first and we’ll make sure you don’t get shot, yeah?”

“What?!” I exclaimed but before what he said could settle in, I was pushed forward and even almost faceplanted into the dirt. Gunshots almost immediately went off and I screamed as I scurried off the ground and started running. I couldn’t help but scream the whole time, gun waving around in my hand, until I got to the car. I rammed into the side of it, chest rising and falling as I tried to shield myself from any further danger, but the shooting didn’t stop even for a second. The driver’s door got thrown open and suddenly I could see Jun and Woozi running our way. They were running in zig-zag as they sprinted towards the car and my eyes widened when one officer, the one I was familiar with, started running after them with his shotgun raised high. My heart thumped wildly and all I could think of was, what if he shoots Junhui? With trembling hands, I raised my arms, gripping the handgun with both tightly, and stepped away from the little safety the car offered. And then I started firing as well, on the verge of screaming once again. But as Junhui jumped inside the car, I pulled the trigger for the last time, and got dragged inside the car by Woozi. My eyes widened when I saw the officer falling to the ground with a loud cry, holding onto his leg. The car door got slammed shut and almost immediately we took off, kicking up dirt behind us. I remained looking ahead shocked, unphased by the dangerous maneuvers Junhui was making. I just shot a man. And then suddenly, everyone in the car was cheering loudly. I yelped when my back was patted roughly by Seungkwan, who was sitting in the back, a wide grin on his lips.

“Welcome to your new life, Y/N.” Seungkwan said with a smirk and a breathy chuckle left my lips as I looked at the five men sitting inside the car.

“I just shot a man!”

“Won’t be your last time.” Joshua said with a proud smirk and I couldn’t say anything.

I never thought my life would turn into this, but oh boy, this was the best choice I made after leaving my hometown.

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sopeverse · 3 years

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hi! first of all, i hope you’re doing okay. i totally understand if you don’t want to/have the energy to explain this, so feel free to ignore me. i’m trying to understand what’s going on in ireland? the news articles are very general and are talking about unionists/nationalists, which i can vaguely glean the meanings of. i was wondering if you could explain what’s actually happening?

of course! i understand it can be very daunting and confusing to those that don't currently live in Northern Ireland, but as someone who is currently experiencing everything first-hand, i'll try to explain it to my best ability.

for the past few nights rioting and violence has occurred in several places around Northern Ireland such as Belfast and Derry. these are two major cities that have wide communities of both loyalists and nationalists, meaning tensions were already quite high before this weeks violence. if you have trouble grasping these two terms and their meanings:

loyalist - primarily protestant individuals that oppose the idea of an united Ireland and remain loyal to England and the crown, trying to put an end to Irish nationalism in the north of Ireland. they can also be referred to as unionists.

nationalist - primarily catholic individuals that are supporters of a united Ireland and opposers to the British occupancy in areas of NI. they can also be referred to as Irish republicans.

first off, a bit of background information to help you fully understand exactly why people are rioting. around a year ago members of the nationalist political party Sinn Féin attended a funeral for the former IRA intelligence boss Bobby Storey, including deputy first minister Michelle O'Neill. strict limitations on social content were being set in place during this time due to covid and the spread of the virus, causing there to be a harsh backlash to their actions - further putting a wedge in the government as Arlene Foster refused to carry on with joint conferences.

this isn't the only reason for the increasing violence however, tensions have gotten thicker due to the success of Brexit, the UK effectively voting to leave the European Union. this involved the introduction of a border being erected between the north and south of Ireland. such a move breached the stipulations in the 'Good Friday Agreement, the treaty that mostly brought three decades of protestant-catholic bloodshed to an end.

this is a large part of the reason for the rioting. as part of the EU-UK negotiations on Brexit, it was agreed that Northern Ireland would partially remain in the bloc's single market, meaning goods sent over to Northern Ireland from Britain would receive EU custom checks at northern Irish ports - cancelling the need for checks between NI and the Republic of Ireland. this effectively draws a sea broader between Britain and Northern Ireland - loyalists arguing this undermines NI's role in the union.

despite the riots being carried out by teenagers and children as young as 12, it is believed that paramilitary groups (particularly the UVF) are inciting the violence. this is incredibly important if you know anything about Irish history, groups like this have has a hold on our nation for decades, using our children as puppets to achieve their goals and not caring for the blood that will be spilt during, all the while the police force stand idly by.

the PSNI also play a huge part in what is happening now and have always been an issue when it came to being impartial.. despite several nights of rioting in loyalist areas, petrol bombs being thrown nightly and innocent bystanders targeted, the police have done nothing but watch. however, only one of these nights was violence occurring in a nationalist area and the extremity of the rioting was next to none when compared to what had happened on the other side of the peace walls - despite this the police force was quick to bring out the water canons, further proving the institutional sectarianism they were brought up to believe.

when asked to speak on the violence and increasing tensions, our first deputy minister Arlene Foster didn't waste a second to condemn it by saying that it distracted from the 'real criminals' in Sinn Féin - shifting the blame and furthering the issue rather than making plans to restore peace.

i urge anyone reading this to educate themselves on Irish history to understand why the divide here is so strong. The Troubles never ended in Northern Ireland, and with people like this in power, it seems like the Irish people have no light for the future.

#✎ :: message board #anon #i’m not the best at explaining situations - especially ones this serious - but i hoped this help!#basically everything boils down to the troubles and institutionalised sectarianism #uk politics #riots #northern ireland #brexit #tw: violence #pinning this so people will be aware of what’s happening

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fiftyyearfilms · 3 years

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50 Years Later: The Still Sweet Legacy of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Image source: https://people.com/food/gene-wilder-death-willy-wonka-pure-imagination/

I first watched Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory during the summer of 2001, when I was four years old. Sometime after the end credits rolled, I waddled into our little English garden and decided to have a nibble of one of the buttercups poking through in the grass. You will be unsurprised to discover that it tasted acrid and bitter and that I promptly screwed up my face and spat it out again. ‘But— but- -’ little four-year-old me thought, ‘—but in Willy Wonka’s garden the yellow butter-tea-cups are edible and filled with a breakfast brew! The toadstools and mushrooms ooze sweet white cream! And the trees don’t sprout boring old fruit, but giant jellified gummy bears!' According to my four-year old logic, in Wonka’s edible garden these synaesthetic saccharine delights could exist and so in our garden they could too. So was the bittersweet belief that ‘Anything is possible’ the film inspired - bittersweet because, of course, it's not true. Today marks the 50-year anniversary of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, which premiered in the United States on this day in 1971. Time reveals a legacy that is more sweet than sour.

The 1971 adaptation of Roald Dahl’s 1964 book ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’ has an origins story that reads like a saccharine fairytale, complete with the requisite obstacles. Once upon a time, the story of Charlie Bucket and his lucky visit to a chocolate factory found its way into the hands of a 12-year-old girl called Madeline Stuart, the daughter of a Hollywood filmmaker, Mel Stuart. Madeline approached her father and asked him to make a film out of the story. In Stuart’s memory, his daughter’s innocent plea went something like this: ’Daddy... I want you to make this into a movie!’ A self-confessed chocoholic, Stuart said yes. And the rest was history? Not just yet...

The early 1970’s wasn’t Hollywood’s happiest hour. Low attendance and a struggling national economy meant that the U.S film industry was in a state of near-collapse and financing the movie was no easy feat; studios were cash-strapped. It was a stroke of sweet luck that the producer of the film, Mel Stuart’s friend David Wrober, had a connection to the Quaker Oats Company who, by happy chance, were looking for a way to break into the chocolate industry. In an unprecedented move in Hollywood, Quaker Oats agreed to finance the film on account of the fact that it would allow them to launch a ‘Wonka’ bar. A convenient if imperfect marriage was formed between the food company and the producers. A Happily Ever After? Still not yet...

There were active forces that didn’t want the candy man to make the leap from page to silver screen. Having long been vocal about Hollywood and its poor representation of black people, the NAACP objected to the adaptation because of the colonial overtones of the Ooompa Loompas in Dahl’s story (described as “a tribe of miniature pygmies” who were imported from Africa); they didn’t want additional attention being brought to the novel. The NAACP eventually suggested that “The solution is to make the Oompa-Loompas white and to make the film under a different title.” Mel Stuart agreed. The title was changed to ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’, a change that would also benefit the marketing of the Quaker Oat Company’s ‘Wonka’ bar. After Stuart consulted with some black actor friends, it also was decided that the elf-like characters would be carrot orange with grass-green hair. Whether this amounted to ‘whitewashing’ or not is a matter for the individual to decide but changing the skin colour was the only way to adapt the book without making more significant changes to Dahl’s story. After all, it was the man himself penning the screenplay.

Image source: https://www2.bfi.org.uk/news-opinion/news-bfi/features/search-perfect-willy-wonka

Dahl’s screenplay - bloated and too close an adaption of the book, was eventually revised by newbie screenwriter David Seltzer, but the fantastical elements of the author’s story remained largely intact: chocolate rooms with chocolate waterfalls and rivers, fizzy-lifting stations that send Charlie Bucket and his grandfather floating to the ceiling, and elevators that fly straight into the sky. Harper Goff, famed for his work on the 1945 Disney film ‘20,000 Leagues under the Sea’, was tasked with bringing Dahl’s demanding vision to life in the art department. Then there were difficulties in casting too, and a cross-country search took place for the Oompa Loompas and the lucky ticket-winning children (lamentably, only white actors were cast). With scouting and sketching underway, producers had the formidable challenge of finding somewhere to shoot the movie. After considering the Guinness Factory in Ireland and – wait for it - a national monument in Spain, producers settled on the Munich Gas works and Bavarian Film Studios in Germany as the central filming locations. It was cheaper than America and the location’s foreignness to British and American audiences would work in the favour of creating a ‘Neverland’ story.

Tinged with sweetness and sourness, pre-production on Wonka came to a close in late August 1970 and principal photography began. For the adults on set, budgetary problems were an ongoing source of stress and the unusual marriage between Hollywood and the food industry was one of the main causes. Unlike Paramount or Universal, who might have expected the film to go over budget, Quaker Oats viewed the film as one long advertisement for their new bar and were unsurprisingly less sympathetic when the weather was bad and shooting had to be delayed or when something went wrong on set and more money had to be poured in (or, in the case of the chocolate waterfall, a specially sourced anti-foaming solution). The kids also had their tribulations (and were only renumerated £60 per week for their hard labour). Stuart was a tough director. So tough, in fact, that the child actors used to joke that they deserved Oscars for their roles (or for putting up with Stuart). He treated the young actors as adults and perhaps that’s one reason why the performances are so strong. But Stuart reflected that overall, it was like ‘one big slumber party’ for the child actors. Stories from the set include Paris Themmen, who played Mike Teevee, releasing bees from underneath a bell jar in Wonka’s chewing gum machine. Denise Nickerson (playing Violet Beauregarde) and Julie Dawn Cole (Veruca Salt) fought over Peter Ostroff, who played Charlie Bucket, and took turns being his ‘girlfriend’ day-by-day. After lunch breaks, Ostroff and Gene Wilder, who played Wonka himself, would walk back to set together sharing a chocolate bar. There was an excitable atmosphere on set and, filmed without storyboards or pre-production rehearsals, it translated into authenticity in the final film.

Image source: https://www.thedelite.com/willy-wonka-and-chocolate-factory-movie-facts-you-never-knew/

Filming came to a bittersweet end in November 1970, cast members said their teary goodbyes, and then seven months later, Willy Wonka premiered in the United States. While time has judged differently, the contemporary reception to the film was, at best, lukewarm. From a $2.9 million dollar budget, the film only made $4 million in theatres and ranked as #53 in the box office. There were a number of reasons for this. Several reviewers panned the movie; a critic from the New York Times called it ‘tedious and stagy with little sparkle and precious little humor’. The fun and spectacle of Willy Wonka didn’t sit well with an anxious and cynical audience. In the Vietnam era, The French Connection, The Omega Man, and A Clockwork Orange were in, and optimism and fun were out. The film also had to contend with the declining weekly movie attendance across the U.S, which reached an all-time low of 14 million in 1971 (from 44 million in 1963). On top of this, Dahl didn’t exactly enthuse about the final product. Finally - and this is what the director attributed primary responsibility to: a lacklustre marketing effort on behalf of Paramount Pictures.

But box-office results aren’t everything. Like sherbet - sour at first and then Oh so sweet, Willy Wonka has gone on to gain a mass following of fans and gained the all-desirable ‘cult’ film status. The phenomenon happened over time. Six years after the film appeared on cinema screens, it was sold to Warner Brothers and became one of their best-selling video cassettes. Then, periodic screenings on cable and network television over the following decades meant that it gained an even wider following and stayed within Western cultural consciousness. The never-ending references to Willy Wonka in popular culture - from The Simpsons to Austin Powers to Marilyn Manson’s music videos, is testament to this. The same could be said about the upcoming Willy Wonka origins story, whether it turns out to be a good film or not. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory currently stands as the second most watched film of 1971 on Letterboxd (the Goodreads of film).

Re-watching the film in 2021, it seems almost inevitable that the film has found new and wide- ranging audiences and there’s one main reason for it: a stellar and totally captivating performance from Gene Wilder. The director attributed the film’s longevity to the fact that ‘it was made for adults; it was not made for children’ and it was Wilder himself that brought the grown-up fun. Wilder’s Wonka is sarcastic and witty, ensuring that the final film ended up as a ‘story for children’ only as much as After Eights are for post-dinner treats and Yorkie bars are just for boys. Wilder created a more nuanced and entrancing character out of Wonka than what is portrayed in the book - a Wonka who is dishonest but trustworthy, sarcastic but still empathetic, indifferent but deeply caring, and aloof but charming. Sure, the sets seem slightly dated (the chocolate room in particular) but watching Gene Wilder sing ‘Pure Imagination’ is so wholly captivating that one almost doesn’t notice the set’s limitations. Creating, let alone portraying, such an enigmatic version of Wonka is a tall order, but Wilder made it looks effortless. As evidence of his skill as an actor, Willy Wonka shows Charlie little interest until the very end of the film and then within minutes conveys a parental love to the boy that seems entirely believable. Wilder’s tantalising hot then cold, sugary then sour, sweet then salty performance sustains the whole film.

From the outset, it seemed like the Wilder-Wonka synergy was made to be. Wilder was a relative newcomer to Hollywood in 1970, making his feature film debut in the 1967 film Bonnie & Clyde, but when he walked into the casting room at the Plaza Hotel in New York, Mel Stuart knew he was the man straight away – ‘That’s Willy Wonka!’ he said. Wilder himself immediately seemed to have an intuitive understanding of how to bring the character to life, agreeing to take on the role on one condition: he said to Stuart, “I would like to come out [of the factory] with a cane and be crippled because no one will know from that time on whether I’m lying or telling the truth.’’ Like a magician, Wilder’s Wonka was going to draw you in and keep you in the palm of his hand. To the child actors on set, the Wilder-Wonka symbiosis was very much real. Julia Winter recalled that between takes the kids would crawl all over Wilder yelling, ‘It’s my turn to sit on his lap!’. In turn, Wilder would tell them jokes and stories; he ‘never got cross’. I remember feeling the same captivation as a child watching the film: I wanted to spend time with Wonka. It was only some adults who missed the magic trick. Dahl criticised Wilder’s performance as ‘pretentious’ and insufficiently ‘gay’. Wilder himself recalled hearing talk of mothers saying that the film was ‘cruel to the children’, but he understood that ‘maybe some mothers felt that way, but the children didn’t feel that way...there are limits and they want to know the limits’. The continuing classic status of the film is evidence that the kids (and Wilder) were right. The Wilder-Wonka magic has survived 50 years without souring. The only bittersweetness in watching the actor sing and twirl across the screen is knowing he is no longer with us.

Image source: https://cometoverhollywood.com/2016/08/29/musical-monday-willy-wonka-the-chocolate-factory-1971/

If Gene Wilder carried the film, then what about the story itself? The plot is simple, heart- warming, and doesn’t deserve close scrutiny. Willy Wonka really is a ‘show’, the story is secondary to the individual charisma of Wilder and the spectacle of the image and music. We don’t know if Charlie will be happy or sad once he’s inherited Wonka’s factory. We also don’t know what happens to the rest of the children after they’ve been punished. But who cares? The audience is taken to a joyful fun park where you want to eat everything on screen and play with all the gizmos and gadgets, and where the music is so catchy that you can’t get it out of your head for days and weeks after.

Select ideologues have (and will) taken issue with the story, discarding it as gauche capitalist propaganda. One Marxist criticism of the story even gained enough traction that the director took notice in later years. The parts seem to be there: a businessman running a competition by hiding five golden tickets in his candy bars, competition from other candy makers, the Wonka-Oompa Loompa relationship, and a ‘Rags to riches’ story for Charlie. But one might ask if this is an unnecessary and selective reading. The parts for an alternative vision are equally apparent: from the wild and uncontrolled creativity and experimentation inside the factory to the joy found within the chocolate work itself, and from the relentless drive forward ‘You have to go forward if you want to go back’ to the end picture of the elevator shooting through a glass ceiling and into the skies. If a critic really wanted to make the comparison, such images would sit more easily in Soviet Russia than capitalist America. Wonka might have a capitalist wrapper but take a bite and look closely inside and its ideological filling is incoherent (it is, after all, entertainment). One could imagine how the film might be set in a collectivist community rather than a ‘capitalist’ factory, but it would have made for a worse film. It is the sense of unease that runs throughout the film that has made it timeless, whether its Wonka’s frustration with August Gloop for polluting his pure chocolate river, his fear over someone leaking the secret recipe for the ever-lasting gobstopper, his nightmares in the tunnel sequence, or his anxiety over finding a worthy heir for the factory, which finally manifests as a misjudged outburst at Charlie. It’s the fraught relationship between abundance and greed that makes for such compelling watching. Anyway, as the screenwriter stated in an interview, the film is ‘...not the function of sitting down and intellectualising... it’s the function of scotch tape, cardboard, let’s put on a show!’ Why spoil the fun and examine the parts individually when the sum of the parts is a universal message people need to hear now as much as they did in 1971? Reward honesty and integrity, not greed.

A moral message delivered in an almost subversive tone is another reason for why the film feels timeless. Instead of adults dragging tired and bored children around, the adults in this film are at the mercy of their kids and Wonka. Young viewers can marvel at the gluttony of August Gloop, the smart-mouthed Violet Beauregarde, the wanton bad behaviour of Veruca Salt, and Mike Teevee’s devotion to cable. It’s escapism at its best to watch other kids do what you can’t do: speak back to parents and yell and scream. It’s equally as tantalising when the naughty children are punished in fantastical ways. Augustus, drinking from the chocolate river, falls in and then gets sucked up a chocolate chute. Violet chews forbidden gum and then blows up into a blueberry the size of a small horse. Veruca falls down a garbage chute. And Mike finds himself sucked into a television. Best of all, the parents are equally guilty of bad-behaviour as the kids - and, boy, do they pay for it. Wonka might be a film for children and adults, but you can guess who’s going to really have the best time. It is little Charlie, after all, who wins Wonka’s factory at the end of the day.

In the scene where Willy Wonka drinks from a yellow flower-shaped cup and then eats the cup, the cup itself was made of wax. Gene Wilder had to chew the wax pieces until the end of the take, at which point he spat them out. Adults that once watched the film as children now know that flowers in the garden aren’t edible. Our eyes can pick up the small imperfections in the film - the sweets that look plastic and chocolate river that looks like exactly what it was - ‘dirty, stinky water’. But through a child’s eyes - even coming to the film half a century after its release, the film really can be a ‘world of pure imagination’. In another fifty years, will children still wander into the garden, pick up a buttercup, and bite into it with all the belief in the word that it’ll taste like sweet, white chocolate? As long as parents continue to show children the film, they will - and what a marvellous legacy for a film to have. Fifty years on, it’s safe to say that Willy Wonka has had a sweet and indelible impact on our sadly mostly inedible world.

Sources for post:

Mel Stuart, Josh Young, ‘Pure Imagination: The Making of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’, 2001.

Julia Dawn Cole, ‘I Want It Now! a Memoir of Life on the Set of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’, 2011.

Pure Imagination: The Story (Making) of Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yyev_3S_Y4

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#Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory #1971

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