#also to my two players who follow me here: if you see this. no u didnt.

[zombvic]

KISSES TO MY EXES (joão félix x reader)

summary : in which y/n & joão soft launch their relationship as a response to their exes dating rumors

face claim : alexandra saint mleux (shes so gorgeous brooo)

notes : this idea came to me in a vision tbh like its so stupid im actually crying but hope you enjoy it. also no hate to magui shes so fine n stuff js her personality is irking me out xx

pairings : joão félix x ex!norris!reader , smau

It's safe to say both of them were screwed over by the two people who were now rumored to be dating.

Y/N L/N became a prominent figure in the sports industry even before she started dating the McLaren driver. She gained recognition in the Formula One community as Lando Norris's girlfriend. However, after their breakup, she became known as the one who was dumped by Lando Norris—in a good way, though.

She used the publicity of being dumped to her advantage. Instead of sobbing over the breakup initiated by Lando, she became the best version of herself.

João Félix, on the other hand, took his "breakup" as a challenge. A challenge to see how many times he could get fucked over by the same girl. The Portuguese actress and model, Magui Corceiro, was like meth to him. He couldn't stop going back to her; he didn't even try to stop himself. People say that "third time's the charm." Well, for João, it was the fourth. After she fucked him over for the fourth time, he decided he was going to start his villain arc (breaking up with her).

João's transfer to Barcelona came with much more than just a new club and a new country to discover; it also brought a new relationship.

The two had bonded over their recent relationship endings and on a personal level, they were a match. As months went by, their bond grew until it turned into an actual relationship. As of June 2024, they had been together for about five months, agreeing to keep it low-key. However, the moment they saw their exes link up they decided to reveal it piece by piece.

Liked by alliseeissainz, ynspookie & 85,725 others.

formulagossip uh, oh !! ex-wag / wag gossip here !! the ex-girlfriend of lando norris, y/n l/n, had attended a wimbledon match whilst her ex-boyfriend (lando) was there with his current girlfriend (?), magui corceiro. they havent interacted at all but neither of the three seem excited about meeting eachother here.

View all 247 comments.

user oh shit

user bro downgraded (personality wise)

user slamming my head against the wall

user lando when will you learn

- user both magui and lando r red flags ..

user wonder if shes gonna cheat on him too ..

user lando x magui seem very pr-like

user doesnt magui follow y/n on instagram

user their relationship seems fun..!

user not a smile in sight

- user y/n is mewing 🤫🧏

Liked by land0sgf, smoothoperator.com & 55,725 others.

formulagossip even more ex-wag gossip! it looks like the ex girlfriend of lando norris, y/n l/n, has arrived at the spanish grand prix. she lives in barcelona and is a long time formula one fan. she got invited by the ferrari f1 team to their garage 👀👀

View all 763 comments.

user are we about to witness a ynlando reunion .

user noooo y/n run outta there

user she looks so gorgeous.. landos loss

user why would she be there for lando, cmon guys be so fr

user her outfits always eat

user shes so fine guys helppppp

user L LANDOOOO

user poor lando, has to see whats he missing out on

user post break up glow !!!

- user more like new relationship glow .

Liked by yourusername, lecleaire & 43,384 others.

formulagossip wave of exes this weekend 👀 joão félix (portuguese fc barcelona player) also known as the ex-boyfriend of magui corceiro was spotted at the red bull garage.

user damnnnn

user guys i lowkey ship joao and y/n

user y/n, lando, joao but no magui..

- user lmaoooo literally we need her here to connect them

user y/n liked ??????????????

user WHY IS NO-ONE TALKING ABOUT Y/N LIKING THIS POST

user i get u y/n

user ooooh she likes barca players

user chat i need him

user f1 & barca.. my two worlds colliding

user a smell a new couple

- user if delusional was a person:

Liked by joaowow, barcafangirl69 & 25,856 others.

formulagossip y/n y/l, ex-girlfriend of lando norris liked our post regarding the portuguese fc barcelona player. the two have been following eachother for a few months and even spotted at some events together (via a fan who messaged to us!)

user 🚢🚢🚢

user chaaaaat i ship..

user the upgrade is wild

user i wouldnt be surprised if theyre dating tbh

- user they match eachothers vibe

user barca fangirl x barca player who ???

user ooooh i fear i like this

user girlie is gonna be the ultimate wag

Liked by joaofelix79, landonorris & 2,125,856 others.

yourusername hot summer nights

user joao AND lando in the likes !?!?!?!?!? thats craaazy

user magui caught shaking

user shes so lana coded

user this is so unfunny i need her like actually

- user joao on a second account is that you ??

francisca.cgomes beautiful !!

- yourusername says YOU

- user aint that maguis bestfriend ...

landonorris 😍

- user brother ..

Liked by joaoswifeyyy, yourusername & 1,055,682 others.

joaofelix79 summer 💆🏽‍♂️☀️

user this pic got me pregnant

user woof woof

user y/n liked !!

user not to be dramatic but i think i’m dead

user the kids miss you

user who took the picture ...

user those biceps ...... rawr

user magui missing ouuuuut

Liked by joaofelix79, landonorris & 3,001,885 others.

yourusername bit of this and that

francisca.cgomes #needthat

- yourusername #comengetit

- pierregasly what the fuck .

- pierregasly im telling your boyfriend

- yourusername fyi i read that in a french accent

- pierregasly much needed fyi .. thanks.

- yourusername what was that?? sorry i dont speak croissant

- user BOYFRIEND ?????

user mother is mothering

user wifey, are you cheating on me?

user who's that MAN.

user guys that's me please respect our privacy!!

user i think it's lando tbh..

- user get a grip

user dont ask me how i know this but those are definetly joaos hands

user the aestheticness is so visually pleasing xx

joaofelix79 posted a new story.

(translation : adorable)

Liked by stanloona123, francisca.cgomes & 103,685 others.

formulagossip former wag of lando norris, y/n y/l, is seemingly soft launching her relationship with the portuguese football player, joão félix. the two have been interacting both on and off social media for a while now and its not surprising theres possible romance going on !! y/n posted a picture of a pair of hands which match another picture of joaos hands. it also appears joao updated his instagram story with a picture of y/ns dog. what do you guys think?

user FINALLY . A HAPPY ENDING FOR THEM

user ahhhh thats so cute

user kika likeeeeeeed

user im so happy for them if theyre together

user ive been waiting for this moment

user beyond excited rn

user what the sigma im so happy

user ughhhhhh me when

user blud learned his lesson

Liked by ynsgirlfr1end, yourusername & 2,875,974 others.

joaofelix79 rio de janeiro🤍😍

user THATS Y/NS DOG

user he hay sports

user my mannnnnn

- user hey girlie...

user did y/n take that picture 👀 👀

user looking good

- user its the girlfriend effect

user WOOOF WOOF

user i wonder how y/n feels about the comments

Liked by joaofelix79, francisca.cgomes & 4,214,824 others.

yourusername cats out the bag n stuff

francisca.cgomes AAAAAAAH FINALLY

francisca.cgomes y/n is still mine tho .

- joaofelix79 nuh uh .. ????

- francisca.cgomes YUH UHHHHHH

- pierregasly bruhhh ☹️☹️

- yourusername sorry mr baguette man

user IM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW

user aaaaaaaaaaaaaah cuties

user anyone notice magui & lando have been quiet for a while

user talk about an upgrade

user anyone else find it funny that kika (maguis supposed best friend) is congratulating y/n for dating joao (maguis ex)

- user and not even a like for magui & lando

user i love the dynamic between pierre, joao, y/n & kika

user fav couple tbh

chattttttttt this is sillyyyyy but yeah hope u liked it xx

[ghoulsmuses]

me, realizing i need to prep and get a recap ready because i'm running my first dnd session in a few weeks this coming tuesday:

[endless screaming as i scroll through 5etools]

[gamergirl929]

It's Gonne Be Me, You, and The Dance Floor (Kristie Mewis x Reader)

You never expect for Megan Rapinoe's retirment party to be as wild as it currently was, but here you were, surrounded by drunk current and former USWNT Players, with a healthy dose of WNBA and NWSL players sprinkled in. Unfortunately for you, a drunk Emily Sonnett decides to drag you onto the dance floor, despite that fact you weren't much of a dancer. Eventually, she's whisked away by Lindsey Horan, the woman knowing full well you weren't the dancing type. However, before you can making your escape from the dance floor, you turn, walking smack dab into Kristie Mewis.

Anonymous Request: Kristie Mewis/G!P Reader, finding a somewhat private place at a party to fuck.

“Hey.” You jump, pulled from your thoughts by a pat on the back from Emily Sonnett, the blonde grinning.  

“Get out of your head, come on, have some fun!” She says as she motions to the party going on around you.  

Retirement wasn’t something you’d expected to party about, but when Megan Rapinoe announced her retirement, the team knew they had to throw a party for the USWNT veteran.  

You didn’t realize that party would mean renting out an entire club for the night, with a completely open bar and a DJ.  

A number of retired players had flown out to join in on the festivities, as well as a number of Megan’s NWSL teammates from OL Reign. 

Her wife, Sue Bird, and some of her Seattle Storm teammates also made an appearance, refusing to miss the retirement party of Sue’s significant other, who they all adored. 

You sigh deeply, downing the entire glass of liquor in your hand, earning a pat on the back from Emily.  

“Atta girl! Now get out there, let’s dance!” She yells, dragging you out on the dance floor.  

You weren’t much of a dancer, but Emily had grabbed your arms anyway, swinging them around dramatically.  

Out of the corner of your eye, you spot Lindsey making her way towards you, pulling Emily into a headlock.  

“What are you doing...?” She asks and Emily grins.  

“Having fun with Y/N!” Her grin widens, the Gotham FC player visibly drunk.  

You chuckle, about to turn and make your way off the dance floor, that is until you run smack dab into Kristie Mewis.  

You couldn’t lie, you’d honestly been in love with Kristie Mewis since the moment you laid eyes on her.  

You knew deep down that you’d never have a chance with her, but a girl can dream, can’t she? 

“Hey!” She beams, peering around you, snorting when she sees Emily wobbling as she attempts to dance with Lindsey.  

“Someone’s drunk.” She giggles and you laugh, glancing over your shoulder at Emily who’s doing, what she thinks, is dancing.  

You shake your head, turning back to Kristie, your eyes widening when you see the soft smile she’s sending you.  

“What?” You ask, your cheeks flushing when she takes a step towards you, the two of you almost chest to chest.  

“Do you want to dance?” She asks confidently, your eyes widening.  

“U-U-Uh, s-sure, b-but I’m not the best dancer.” You cringe and Kristie hums, placing her hands on your shoulders.  

"You’ll get the hang of it.” She winks and you swallow hard, giving her a less than confident nod.  

She weaves through the crowd, pulling you to the middle of the dance floor.  

“Come here.” She says, pulling you in, your fronts now together.  

You knew you were blushing, the tips of your ears burning as she pulled you closer.  

Unexpectedly, her hands run from your shoulders down to your chest, her thumbs caressing your collar bone, her blue orbs glassy, but not from the effects of alcohol.  

“Kris?” You say, pulling the woman out of whatever trance she was in, her cheeks dusted pink.  

“S-Sorry.” She stutters, glancing away bashfully before clearing her throat.  

“If you aren’t comfortable, you don’t have to dance with me.” She smiles and you shake your head.  

“I-I mean, I can try...?” You shrug, her smile splitting into a grin.  

“Follow my lead?” She says, holding her hands out and you nod.  

The music booms loudly as Kristie starts to sway, the woman nodding in encouragement when you follow her movements,  

She takes a step closer, her body flush with your own, her nose nearly brushing yours.  

Her fingers knit behind your neck as her hips move, her lower half brushing yours repeatedly.  

You breathe one another’s air as your hips rock, her tongue slipping between the tight line formed by her lips as she grinds harder into you.  

Her hands roam your body before settling on your waist, pulling you closer, your lower halves now flush.  

“Shit.” You say, the curse indivertibly slipping past your lips.  

You didn’t have time to be embarrassed, not when Kristie’s lips skirted along the underside of your jaw.  

You’re unable to stop yourself from gasping when you feel her press a kiss to your pulse point, her tongue taking a swipe at your tan skin.  

You’re not sure what possess you, but your hands leave her waist, and instead slip around her, settling on her jean short, covered ass.  

She whimpers as you pull her impossibly closer, the two of you now grinding feverishly against one another, which goes unnoticed by the bodies dancing around you considering many are doing the same.  

You realize far too late that you were getting hard, the protrusion in your pants growing hard with each roll of Kristie’s hips.  

Kristie’s breath hitches, her body stilling when she realizes what exactly she’s grinding against.  

Your cheeks were flushed a deep shade of red as you take a step back, the blonde now able to see the outline of your cock beneath your jeans.  

“I-I-I'm sorry.” You stutter, preparing to bolt, but Kristie stops you, her fingers tangling in your belt loops as she pulls you back against her, your erection now pressed against her.  

“Do you want to stop...?” She asks, rolling her hips again to gauge your reaction, the woman smirking when your eyes slam shut, your bottom lip trapped between your teeth.  

“I-I-I...” You fall silent, wrapping your arms around her as she grinds against your now rock-hard member.  

“Tell me.” She purrs, unable to stop herself from gasping when you whimper in her ear.  

“Do-Don’t stop.” You beg, the woman smirking against your neck.  

Your hips rock, the woman pressed against you soaked beyond belief.  

She’d wanted you for so long, asking you to dance had been spur of the moment, but now she couldn’t have been happier, the woman smiling against your neck as you moaned in her ear, the blonde rocking her hips against your member.  

She moans against your neck, the sound making you growl.  

“F-Fuck.” You stutter, giving Kristie’s sides a squeeze.  

“I-If we don’t stop...” You sigh, your brows knitted in pleasure, the woman in your arms giggling against your neck.  

“If we don’t stop, what?” She asks innocently, using her hips to rock harder against you.  

You duck down, panting in the woman's ear as you attempt to gather your thoughts.  

“I think you know what.” You say, whining when she winks, knitting her fingers behind your neck as she pulls you in, her nose brushing yours.  

“Are you gonna come...?” She asks, and you nod rapidly, grunting as her hips swivel.  

“Well...?” She says, your brows furrowing in confusion, that is until her hand slithers between your bodies, the woman palming the appendage between your legs.  

She hugs you tight, keeping you upright as she strokes you rapidly, getting you off in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by your drunk teammates.  

She places a hand behind your neck and pulls you in, your hot breath puffing against her ear, soft whimper and whines passing through your lips, the sounds making her even wetter than she already was.  

“Why don’t you come for me?” She asks, watching your face contort in pleasure, your body stiffening before you groan against her neck, her hold on you tightening as you shudder, your pants filled with your release.  

Kristie continues to stroke you, only stopping when you grab her wrist, unable to take any more.  

You pant against her shoulder, the woman kissing the curve of your jaw over and over again.  

“How was that...?” She asks, smirking when her blue orbs lock with your glassy Y/E/C orbs.  

“Fucking great, even if I didn't expect it...” You say as you attempt to catch your breath, the blonde giggling.  

You lick your lips, leaning in, your lips nearly touching.  

“What I do know is I want to return the favor...” You rasp, the sound of your voice making her clit throb.  

You nod your head off the dance floor, weaving through the dancing bodies until you break free of the crowd.  

You scan the club, smirking when you spot a nearby bathroom door, the sign on its front signaling to the other patrons that it was out of order.  

Kristie is unable to stop herself from laughing when you drag her inside, her back resting the closed door.  

Your palms rest on either side of her head, the blonde grinning.  

“Do you want this...?” You ask, worried she may push you away, even after what happened on the dance floor.  

She cups your cheeks, pulling you in and slamming her lips against yours.  

It doesn’t take long at all for the kisses to heat up, your tongue swiping against Kristie’s, the woman moaning into your mouth.  

Your hands slide off the door, finding their way onto her chest, the woman whimpering when you knead her breasts.  

“Y/N...” She moans, holding her arms up, a sign to you that she wanted the shirt hugging her upper half off.  

You pull the shirt up over her head, and toss it on the floor, your Y/E/C orbs taking in the now visible flesh that had been hidden beneath her shirt.  

Kristie tilts her head back, her lips parted in a silent gasp when you caress her breasts through her bra, her nipples visible through the material.  

She whimpers when your lips leave hers, trailing down her neck until you reach her breasts, your lips wrapping around one of her erect nipples.  

Her fingers tangle in your hair as you lavish her breasts with attention before turning to the opposite, playfully nipping at her pebbled nipple.  

Your hands continue their descent, your fingers tangling in the belt loops of Kristie’s shorts, her eyes flashing open to reveal her blue orbs, darkened with arousal.  

Slowly, you unzip the zipper of her shorts, giving them a tug, the blonde nodding immediately.  

You kneel down, pulling her shorts, as well as her ruined panties down her legs, the woman kicking them off, the clothes joining those already on the floor.  

You were painfully hard, but you wanted to give Kristie the attention she’d given you, you wanted to watch her come undone in your arms.  

Kristie’s breath hitches as you sink to your knees in front of her, pressing tender kisses to her inner thighs.  

She whimpers when you give her inner thigh a gentle nip, her fingers tangling in your hair as she pulls you where she needs you the most.  

At the first tentative lick to her core, she moans, leaning her head back roughly against the bathroom door.  

Your tongue traces her slit before it’s making contact with her clit.  

“Fuck.” She sighs as your tongue works between her legs, dipping into her entrance before running along her slit and flicking against her pulsing clit again.  

Kristie whimpers and whines loudly, her thighs already starting to quake around your head.  

You knew she was worked up, especially after what happened on the dance floor, you knew she was just as turned on as you were, which meant it wouldn’t take her long to orgasm.  

In all honesty, you wish she wouldn’t come, which meant you’d never have to be anywhere else other than between her legs, her taste and smell intoxicating.  

You wrap your lips around the tiny bundle of nerves, giving it a soft suckle, the woman crying out, her grip tightening on your hair.  

“Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” She begs as you lick her wildly, the woman unable to keep her hips still.  

Moments later she cries out, the sound thankfully covered by that of the booming music in the club.  

Her essence coats your tongue as you lick her clean, the woman’s thighs twitching as you place a kiss to her clit before moving to your feet, your lips wet with her slick.  

She pants heavily cupping your cheeks and pulling you into a kiss, the kiss softer than before, but more intimate considering you had the taste of her on your lips.  

Your tongues slowly meet, the two of you sighing deeply as you kiss lazily.  

Kristie pulls back, her forehead resting against yours, her blue orbs raking down your front, smirking when she realizes you’re hard again.  

Your brows knit when her hand slithers between you, her palm settling on the bulge in your pants, your front already damp from your earlier release.  

“Maybe we should take care of that?” She says seductively, your eyes raking down her front, settling on her bare core.  

“I know one way to take care of it.” You smirk, Kristie’s throat bobbing as you slowly reach for your jeans’ button.  

Kristie catches your wrist, your eyes widening when she chooses to pop the button of your jeans and grab your zipper, tugging it downwards slowly.  

In a blink, your pants are on the floor around your ankles, your boxers the only thing covering your lower half, the size of your member now visible.  

“Fuck.” Kristie whispers, backing you up against the opposite wall, the woman pulling your shirt over your head and tossing it to the floor.  

Her hands run from your shoulders down your chest, pausing to squeeze your breasts before her hands splay on your visible, muscular stomach.  

“Damn.” She whispers, prodding your hard muscles.  

She leans in, pressing her lips against yours, the kiss tender, distracting you from the fact that she was tugging down your boxers, that is until your erection springs free.  

You glance down at your erection, your brows arching when you see Kristie gazing at it before running a fingertip along the underside of your cock.  

You lean back heavily against the wall, your eyes fluttering shut.  

“I want to feel you inside me.” Kristie confesses, your eyes flashing open, meeting Kristie’s shining blues.  

“A-Are you sure...?” You whisper, the woman nodding with no sense of hesitation.  

Your hand drops to your already throbbing member, giving it a few pumps, the sounds you're making, makes Kristie shudder.  

Much to her surprise, you take charge, flipping your positions, the woman’s back now pressing against the cold tile wall.  

You turn your attention back to your member, Kristie sighing when you run your head through her lower lips, stopping to rub it against her clit.  

“Shit.” She sighs, her brows furrowing as you teasingly spread her opening with your tip before pulling away.  

“Don’t tease.” She whines, her bottom lip jutted out in a pout.  

She wanted you, and she wanted you bad, something that made you whimper, her eyes flashing open, locking with your Y/E/C orbs.  

You lick your lips lining yourself up with her entrance, the blonde nodding rapidly when you give her a questioning look.  

You slowly slip into her, your head slipping in slowly, the woman whining loudly.  

“Fuck.” She whimpers, as you slowly slip inside her until you’re completely sheathed, her walls wet and warm, welcoming your invasion.  

You remain still, lightly kissing her neck, letting her get acclimated to the stretch before you light thrust your hips.  

“O-Oh.” She sighs, lifting one leg upward, curling it around your waist, gripping your shoulders tightly.  

You put a bit more power behind your next thrust, earning a throaty moan in return, her walls fluttering around you.  

You quickly establish a rhythm, your thighs slapping together as you pound into the woman.  

“Fuck, Y/N...” She sighs, gasping when you lift her into the air and press her back against the wall, her legs wrapping around your middle as you reposition yourself and slip back inside her.  

“Oh, Jesus Christ.” She sighs as you start thrusting upwards, the woman getting wetter and wetter with each thrust.  

She uses your shoulders as leverage, bouncing along with your thrusts, her lips parted as a wide array of sounds pass from her open mouth, a mixture of whines, whimpers, groans and moans. 

Your muscles start to contract, your breathing quickening with each thrust, your orgasm impending.   

“I-I’m so close.” Kristie says in between gasps, her walls fluttering around you.  

“I-I’m gonna-- 

You go silent, groaning loudly against her neck as you stiffen, your thrusts slowing as you orgasm, your thighs quaking as you fill her with your release.  

Kristie comes with a cry, her walls clamping down around you, milking more of your seed out of your softening cock. 

Her nails dig ridges in your back as she trembles in your arms, the feel of her climaxing in your arms bringing you a sense of pleasure you never thought you’d feel.  

Your thrusts slow, the woman panting heavily in your arms as you lazily kiss her neck, helping her through her orgasm.  

She leans in, kissing your lips softly, your now flaccid member still inside her as you kiss tenderly.  

You part, Kristie’s hands on your shoulders as her chest rises and falls rapidly.  

“Well...” She says, giggling as she scrapes her nails against the nape of your neck.  

“I didn’t expect that to happen.” She chuckles and you shake your head, your lips splitting in a grin.  

“Me either.” You smile softly, bashful even though you were currently still inside the woman.  

She hums, leaning in to press another kiss to your lips.  

“What do you say, we take this back to the hotel?” She asks with a seductive smirk, your lips splitting in a grin.  

“I was kind of worried you’d want to pretend like this didn’t happen.” You mumble insecurely, the woman in your arms smiling as she tilts your chin up with her index finger, her sparkling blues meeting your Y/E/C’s.  

“I’ve kind of been wanting to do this for a long time.” She confesses, her cheeks dusted pink.  

Your brows arch.  

“Really now?” You ask and she nods, smiling against your lips when your lips meet again.  

“Still want to take this back to the hotel?” She asks and you smirk.  

“Absolutely.”  

Eventually, the two of you exit the bathroom, fully clothed, your hand in Kristie’s as she drags you out of the club, a slurring Emily Sonnett yelling from across the club.  

“GET IT Y/N!” She hiccups and you snort, Kristie giggling as she squeezes your hand, the two of you eager to continue where you left off at the hotel.  

In that moment, you were incredibly thankful that a drunk Emily Sonnett dragged you onto the dance floor.  

[catboygretzky]

Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr:

1/?

👑 girlbossriko follow

how many bro jobs do you think it took before riko moriyama and kevin day realized that uh.....maybe this wasn't just a bro thing

👢exyinaphonebooth follow

how many times do they have to come out and say they're like brothers before you freakos stop shipping them

👑 girlbossriko follow

????? do i know u

#it's a tumblr post about two exy players that you'lll never meet in your life it really isn't that deep

558 notes

💃fox-me-up follow

ngl that newest fox is kinda 👀

#psu lb #exy lb

8 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me

The NARRATIVE that kevin day and neil josten have........son of exy! scouting the rookie-est of rookies from fuck knows arizona........no listen you dont GET IT winning is EVERYTHING TO KEVIN and he would risk it on the foxes? And NEIL? who has only played exy for a year! NEIL Gets his attention!!!!! And hes good and he's getting better every game and he keeps bitching about kevin's ex on live tv BUT WAIT!???? NOT QUITE WHAT YOU EXPECT! Bc then neil shows up with a number on his cheek BECAUSE WELL it turns out they've known each other since they were KIDS! how is everyone not insane w me THEY'RE LITERALLY PERFECT

#where r my fellow njkd truthers #how r u all not here with me this isnt even the start #kevneil #210 #psu #njkd

102 notes

☀️ usctrojanny

every smiley blonde striker (jeremy knox) needs a brunette wet cat emotional support backliner (jean moreau)

#jerejean #usc trojans #i'm just saying 🤷‍♀️

58 notes

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

did he just......

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

guys please tell me i'm not insane

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

HE'S NEVER BEEN????? SKIIING???? KEVIN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?????? KEVIN PLEASE

#i i'm going insane i will literally die if someone doesn't explain this to me HE'S NEVER BEEN SKIING?!!!!

407 notes

🧚 goalie-stan

oh....i'm feeling so weak......it'd sure be nice to have a big strong goalie (renee walker) hold me up (renee if you're free on tuesday i am also free on tuesday.........on tuesday this tuesday, any tuesday?)

#literally passing out just thinking about her holding me don't call don't text i'm busy

84 notes

🌄 softkevinday follow

do u think if u offered kevin day essential oils to heal his hand he'd beat you to death

#it'd be hard for him bc he only has one hand but he could probably do it #legally this is a joke don't do this

284 notes

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

feeling normal

215 notes

📜 realexyblog

actually exy rpf is fine, i asked kayleigh day herself and she told me it was fine

112 notes

🐋 sexyexy

'exy is a stupid name for a sport' have you considered that a) i don't care and b) it's named that solely so i can make sex jokes about it

11 notes

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

is he, ya know *mimes jerking off* an ncaa exy player

#i don't believe that straight exy players exist

56 notes

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

Andrew Minyard!!!!!!! 🥰🥰 short king!!!!🤏🤏😋😋 Awwwwwwww the scrunkly!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗 My boinky boy!!!!!🥺🥺 Crinkly doo,,,,shronkle scrimblo......🥺🥺🥺 rb if you'd scrunkle!!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

📖 sapphic-exy follow

he literally killed someone

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#also no proof he did that #yeah there's proof his twin bro killed someone but that's not the same bc theyre different people #almost killing someone doesnt count

807 notes

🐦‍⬛ edgarallenexy

got told i'm problematic for liking the ravens? THAT'S LITERALLY MY SCHOOL OH MY GOD

2 notes

🌸 softexy

Kevin Day - A Study

#kevin day #psu foxes #palmetto foxes #exy #web weave #poetry #psu foxes #palmetto #edgar allen

378 notes

[killergee]

Hi, hi! First thing first, im in love with your hoshina x designer weapon reader! It's really warm my heart!! (I LOVE IT TO THE CORE HEHBFJSHDHC😭🫶🫶🫶 BLESS U)

Can i request you (this is kinda awkward) i want to see Highschool AU! For Hoshina x Reader. Kendo player! Hoshina x Archer! Reader👉👈 i would love to see them bantering each other (of if it's not Highschool AU! You can use the close range user! Bf x long range user! Gf thing!)

Thank you!

Ahhh my first request, how exciting! Sorry for posting so late. So many things have been happening lately. Also had to do some research and ended up watching tsurune LOL.

Here's a bunch of little stories of your life as Archer! Reader x Kendo! Hoshina.

Part 2 (one shot)

Synopsis: The club captains of the kendo and the kyudo (archery) club don't seem to get along. Or rather, that's how the club members see it.

---------------------------

"Oi, what do ya think you're doing? The kendo club's got this gym booked for today."

Toppled on top of each, the members of the kendo club huddled nervously outside the door to their gym. They could only take small peaks and glances from their place as they were all too scared to step foot inside.

All except one.

The Captain of the Kendo team, Hoshina, was the only one who dared to enter the gym. Standing tall with his arms crossed, he gave you a menacing glare.

Rising from your kneeling position, you exhaled a tired breath and put your training bow down. "Oh, sorry, I didn't see your name on the registrar, so I presumed the gym was empty and booked it." Despite the courteous words, your apology dripped of insincerity and a smidge of condescension. "Had you actually done your job correctly, this could've been avoided."

The members of your own club shifted awkwardly. Exchanging knowing glances, they braced themselves to watch their Captain go at it once again with the rival club Captain.

Hoshina lets out a scoff as he rolled his eyes at your attitude. He ignored your comment and continued on with his interrogration. "What are ya even doing here, ya can't shoot in here. Why aren't you in the kyudo hall?"

"It's under repair, and kyudo isn't only about shooting. I gotta teach the newbies the correct form before they can even touch a bow." You stated before offering a fake smile. "Why don't you go build your stamina with some laps? It's not good to slack on basic fitness."

"Shouldn't I be saying that to you? When's the last time ya used your legs?"

After a brief moment, Hoshina flashed his own small smile, although there was nothing friendly behind it. He leaned down until his face was a mere couple inches from yours. He knew you hated the height difference. That you hated the fact that there was something he had over you. Going by the tiniest twitch in your perfectly crafted smile, he knew he was right.

"Hey, give me the room, and I'll play nice and let you watch us practice. Maybe then you'll learn something of actual worth." He suggested, feeling a deep satisfaction at the slight clench of your fist.

"I don't understand the need to swing a big sword. Overcompensating for something?"

"Ah, and I suppose hitting a massive target from far away is much more impressive."

"Oh my, if you think a target that's only thirty-six centimeters is massive, then I'm definitely worried for you."

"Are dick jokes the only jokes you can make? Are you a child?"

"Sorry, did I hit too close to home?"

A vein popped on his cheek. He could never really get a handle on your snake-like tongue.

Everyone felt the heavy tension and chill in the air. The first years had trouble believing that the two people squabbling like children were their beloved Captains.

You were known for your kindness and elegance. But you knew when to be soft and when to push harder. Where you went, people's eyes would follow whether consciously or not. You were the most talented kyudo archer the school has ever seen and an equally good captain.

Hoshina was among the top strongest kendo player in the division. Diligent. Attentive. Trustworthy. His laidback attitude attracted a lot of people, but when his serious nature slipped through during matches—that's when it was impossible to take your eyes off of him.

You two rarely crossed paths, but when you did, it was a blood bath. You two brought out the worst in each other. Or maybe you simply brought out each other's competitive streak.

All the members of their respective club could only pray for the day the two of you stop bickering.

---------------------------------

"I heard you guys passed the preliminaries," you said as you sat and watched him practice. It was late into the evening, and only the two of you were still in school. You had locked up the kyudo hall but saw how the lights were still on in the kendo dojo. Curiosity got the best of you, and you went to see who was still practicing.

"Congrats," you said quietly, barely audible to anyone around you.

"Oh, sorry, what was that? Awww, are ya congratulatin' me? I'm so honoured, oh, glorious captain." He jested back, pausing his activities against the training dummy. He stopped because he's had enough practice and shouldn't overexert himself. He definitely didn't stop because he wouldn't hear you against the sound of the strikes.

"Whatever, your opponents were shit anyways. It would've been harder for you to lose."

He lets out a low whistle at your words.

"Way to ruin the moment." He said, beginning to take off his armor. Placing his wooden sword at the stand, he peeled off his gloves.

Then, realization hit Hoshina, and he froze. The corner of his lip curled into a dangerous smirk as he turned to look at you.

"Wait, does that mean ya watched me compete?"

You flushed a pretty shade of pink and looked away from his amused eyes.

"Well, we're hosting the tournament this year, and I happened to pass by the dojo, so I just took a look."

"Right..." He chuckled. "Your preliminaries are tomorrow, right?"

You nod your head as you get up from your spot. The way you stretched your arms above your head reminded him of a cat.

"Yup, and we're gonna show you guys why we're number one in the division, unlike you guys who are only what again? Right, second."

"Hope you miss." He grunted in response. Though, despite the gruff words, Hoshina found that there wasn't actually any bite to his remarks nowadays. His once heated bitter words are now nothing more than poorly disguised teases.

At hearing your chuckle, he looked up at you, and his breath catches in his throat.

"Me? Miss?"

The look in your eyes was hypnotizing.

"Never."

---------------------------------------------------

Why others seemed to admire you was beyond Hoshina's understanding. You were immature, vain, cocky, rude, and knew exactly which buttons to push to annoy him. If people saw the side of you he got to see, they would run for the hills.

Walking from the main school building to the dojo, he heard the faint but recognizable sound of the kyudo bow releasing an arrow.

Ah, that's right. You should be playing right now.

He stopped in his place as he looked to the direction of the sound. He had to pass the kyudo hall anyway to get to the dojo, is what he told himself before he changed course to take the longer route to the dojo.

There was a crowd gathered around the hall by the time he made it there. Not wanting to be seen, he kept to the edges of the crowd but still in a good enough spot that he had a good view of the archers.

Hoshina thinks to himself that he'll only stay to watch your first shot as he watched you ceremoniously kneel with your bow and arrow.

However, he found himself stuck in his place as he watched your elegant and meticulous gestures. Like a moth to a flame, he couldn't tear his eyes away from your figure as you drew your bow. He didn't know much about kyudo, but he couldn't help but think that your draw was beautiful.

Everything about you screamed confidence and assurance. With the twang of the bow string, the arrow released and hit dead centre of the target.

Like always.

By the time he realized he's stayed longer than he should've, you had fired 5 shots. Not a single arrow missed the target.

The cocky smile that bloomed on your face as you lowered the bow and admired your work made his heart race.

Huh... so that's why so many people are head over heels for you.

He left before your team could celebrate the victory.

---------------------------------------------------

As the season continued, you two made it a habit to stay later than usual when practicing. Whoever would finish first would go to the other and watch or tell them to pack it up.

As captains in your last year, both of you needed to win your tournaments.

"Don't ya ever get tired? Or are the rumours true and you're actually a robot?" Hoshina said with his head resting on his bag as he sat and watched you.

"Only partly, actually," you quipped back before drawing another arrow. "One more shot."

"And how many times have ya said that?" He asked looking at your target filled with dozens of arrows. Unlike what he was used to seeing, a third of your shots were off target.

"Can't afford to miss. "

"Ya need to go home."

"No"

Hoshina rolled his eyes at your stubborness. "You think this is going to help ya? You're just burnin' yourself out."

Although you lowered your bow at that, your focus does not move away from your target. "We were one point away from not advancing to finals. I need to be perfect. My team is depending on me. I can't afford to drag my team down or disappoint them."

At one point in time, he'd have paid someone to bring you down a peg. Now, however, his heart twisted at seeing you doubting yourself.

"Listen, I know the pressure better than anyone else. This tournament is important to me too. But ya just need to have faith in the skills that you've built up over these years. You've earned the title of best kyudo player for a reason." He sat up straighter when you finally turned to look at him. Rubbing the back of his neck, he continued, "also, have faith in your team. They've worked hard and don't want to disappoint you either. Don't forget you're in a team, afterall."

You stared at him for a moment before giggling. Your giggle turned into a full-blown laugh at his pout.

"Now why's that so funny?"

"No, no," you managed to say as you try to collect your composure. "I just never imagined getting a pep talk from my arch nemesis."

A smile replaced Hoshina's pout. "I'm your arch nemesis?"

"Aren't I yours?" You jested back as you began putting away your equipment.

Were you? Arch nemesis wouldn't be the words he'd use to describe you. He didn't quite like the idea of you only being a rival to him.

His on the other hand. Now, that didn't sound too bad.

With your back turned to him, he called out to you, making you turn to him.

"Here."

You caught whatever he threw at you before it could hit you. Sitting in your palm was a key chain with a cat shaped charm, and beside it, an omamori charm with the embroidery "victory."

"Hasn't really been working on me, so you might as well try it," he said, looking rather bashful.

You let out another laugh at his actions. "Can't be owing you, here's mine," you said amused, removing the charm that hung on your bag and tossing it to him.

"It might give you my luck, but I doubt it'll be able to give you my amazing skills. So don't put too much pressure on it."

The charm was of a heart with an arrow through it and a wooden good-luck charm with the engraving "grind them to dust."

"How fitting," hoshina said outloud as he held the charm in his palm.

"Oh yea," you chuckled. "The statement is quite aggressive, but I thought it was funny"

"Hmmm? Oh yea, that too." Before you could even think twice about his statement, he closed his palm around the charm and gave you a determined look.

"Let's win this."

You couldn't help but smile. "That goes without saying."

---------------------------------------------------

Bonus:

"Hey, isn't that Hoshina's charm?" One of your club members asked curiously as they stretched on the ground. Although the rest of the members pretended they weren't listening in, they were dying to know why you had it. They were able to spot it right away when they saw it on your school bag. It was the charm that Hoshina kept on his bag for all the years they've known him. They also couldn't forget how the Kendo members were forced to stay after school to search for the charm when he lost it.

"Yeah," you responded matter of factly as you stood and watched them.

"Why? I thought you two hated each other?"

"Now, who ever told you that?" You responded slyly.

Their mouths hung open at your statement. Were you gaslighting them? Or were you just pretending you didn't pick a fight with Hoshina every chance you got.

"Oi, y/n hurry up. I'm hungry"

At the voice, they all snapped their heads to look at the owner of the charm himself. Leaning against the doorframe, he was in his school uniform with his bag tucked under his arm.

"Yea, yea, coming old man, don't be so pushy," you said, making your way towards him. When he turned to head out, the members saw your unforgettable charm hanging from his bag.

"You buying lunch this time or is it my turn?" They heard you say as the both of you walked by the window of the gym.

"Don't remember. Let's just say it's my turn. " Hoshina responded with what they think was a smile.

"What the fuck just happened."

[milaisreading]

Hi! I really like your bllk masterlist. After i found your account i imediately follow it and now you're one of my favourite. But can i ask you to make CD y/n turn into toddler?. Like manager y/n one. I'm sorry if you already make one because i cannot find them. Also sorry for my english too....

🌱🩷: Hiii, Anon! I just wrote tiny scenarios of it, but here is a full version! Hope u like it and thanks for the support

Warnings: Reader is crossdressing here, so I use a mix of he/him and she/her. If you want to see more toddler cd!Yn, let me know. Requests in general are open.

⚽️Blue Lock belongs to Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

When Ness woke up he expected a few things to see. One of them would be seeing Kaiser and (Y/n) still fast asleep. Or Kaiser asleep and the Blue Lock player off to the shower room. Or even to see Kaiser himself awake, but this was no something he expected! The magenta eyed boy stared in shock at the (h/c)-haired toddler, who in return blinked up at Ness in curiosity as he sat on his lap.

"Who? What the hell?" Ness muttered as he slowly put his hand on (Y/n)'s head.

"So... this isn't a dream?" Ness raised an eyebrow as the toddler smiled and leaned into Ness' touch.

"Did you eat something off last night? Kaiser. Hey, Kaiser, wake up." Ness called out to the blonde, who groaned and glared at the midfielder.

"What is it? It's not even 7 yet." The other German said.

"This is serious. Why is (Y/n) a toddler?"

"What?" Kaiser asked as he looked at Ness in confusion. The other rolled his eyes and removed his hand from (Y/n)'s head. The girl looked at him in confusion as Ness pointed at her.

"This." The magenta-eyed boy said as Kaiser rubbed the sleep off of his eyes and looked at the toddler, who looked over at the blonde with the same confused stare.

"Da?" She said as Kaiser's eyes widened in shock and he quickly got up from his bed and ran to Ness' side.

"What happened here?!" Kaiser yelled as be looked at Ness, expecting an answer from him.

"How should I know? He was in my bed like this when I woke up." The toddler said nothing as she looked between the two. If they looked at the toddler a little bit better, they would have noticed the slight trembling from the toddler as Kaiser continued yelling.

"And what are we supposed to do now?! How will I explain this to Noa?!"

"How should I know?!"

As the two continued arguing, the toddler started trembling more and more as tears started rolling down her face. What interrupted their yelling at the end were (Y/n)'s loud sobs, as the player started growing more and more scared of the loud noises.

"Shit..." Kaiser muttered as Ness picked the player off of the bed and ran out of their room towards Noa's room.

"We need to find Noa!"

"You think he knows how to take care of a toddler?!" Kaiser asked as he ran after them.

"Well... let's hope..." Ness said as (Y/n) started crying more and more.

"Here comes the train~" Anri cooed as she gave (Y/n) a spoon full of baby food. Ego and Noa observed the girl for a moment and then looked back at Ness and Kaiser.

"And you say you found him like this?" The French striker asked, earning a nod from Ness.

"Yes. I woke up and found him in my bed like this." The midfielder answered.

"And why was he crying when you brought him in?"

"He hates loud noises, apparently." Kaiser simply answered, avoiding the suspicious glares from Anri and Ego. Noticing that the woman stopped giving her food, (Y/n) frowned and tugged on the woman's sleeve.

"Hmm?" Anri muttered and looked downbas the toddler kept on looking at the empty spoon.

"My! (Y/n) had quite a healthy appetite when he was younger. Some things don't change." Anri laughed as she continued feeding the toddler.

"What are we going to do now?" Kaiser asked, earning Noa's attention again.

"Yeah, won't Re Al wonder where he is? They did bid a lot of money on him, after all." Ness argued as Ego went to pick the toddler up after she ate all the food.

"True... We will just say he came down with a fever. I am sure this won't last for too long."

"What makes you say that?" Noa raised an eyebrow.

"I am hoping."

"Wonderful." Kaiser rolled his eyes.

Later....

"Gagamaru, I want to hold him now." Kunigami pouted as the goalkeeper held (Y/n) on his lap. Hiori and Isagi giggled as they handed her some of their food, surprised she was able to eat it.

"Can you wait just a little bit more? He is comfortable right now." Gagamaru pleaded as Kurona caressed her hair.

"I am surprised his stomach isn't upset from all the food we gave him." Yukimiya commented as he slid some of his food towards Hiori, who was the main one giving the girl food.

"I guess he has stronger stomach than we thought." Kurona answered as Kunigami lifted her up.

"Huh?" (Y/n) blinked as she looked at everyone, surprised bybthe sudden movement.

"How long did Noa-san say this will last?" Isagi raised an eyebrow.

"He said he doesn't know, but he is sure it will be over in a few days." Hiori answered.

"For now, all we have to do is keep him away from cameras." Yukimiya chimed in as Gagamaru looked back at the toddler.

"Don't you guys think Re Al will question where he is?" Kurona wondered.

"Let's hope they don't." Kunigami answered as the door harshly opened, revealing Chigiri  and Reo, who quickly ran up to Kunigami.

"What are you guys doing here?" Gagamaru asked.

"We were sent here to pick (Y/n) up! The news crew is coming to your stratum so (Y/n) should stay with us for a few hours." Chigiri answered, squealing a little at how cute the toddler looked.

"Give him to us now, muscle head. We need to hurry back to our stratum." Reo demanded. Kunigami glared a little at the heir, but reluctantly gave him the toddler.

"Huh?" (Y/n) blinked at the newcomers as Reo took her out of Kunigami's arms.

"Hey-"

"Great! Thanks!!" Chigiri cheered as they ran out of the room, leaving the team confused and irritated.

"It was my turn to hold him..." Yukimiya pouted.

At the MC dorms...

"Nagi, stop showing him all those cartoons. It's bad for the eyes." Chris scolded the albino as Chigiri took the phone away from him.

"Well, what am I supposed to do? Look how restless he is." Nagi argued as the rest looked at (Y/n), and sure enough, the toddler looked like he is about to start crying.

"Maybe he is hungry?" Reo suggested, offering some of the baby food Anri had left them.

"Maybe, (Y/n) loves food almost more than football." Chigiri added in as the team watched the girl. To their surprise tho, the girl turned away from the food.

"Huh? Now that wasn't what I expected to happen." Chris raised an eyebrow as Reo and Nagi looked at their friend in worry.

"Since when does he reject food?" Nagi wondered, staring at (Y/n) like she was an alien.

"This is odd..." Reo muttered, surprising the girl as she got picked up by him.

"Are you not hungry? Not even a little bit?" The purple-haired boy asked in worry, but all he got was a huff from her and she pouted.

"Now, now. What's with the attitude?" Chris raised an eyebrow as (Y/n) looked back at him.

'I want to go back to my friends!' (Y/n) thought, sadly still unfamiliar with these 4. It was silent for a while, the group waiting in anticipation what she might do next, and safe to say, they didn't expect her to start crying.

"What now?!" Chigiri yelled in panic as Chris took her out of Reo's arms.

"Did we say something wrong?" Nagi wondered in worry as Chris rocked her back and forth.

"I don't know. I don't think so, also, we weren't even loud. Why is he crying?" Reo asked, all three looking at their coach, who was trying and failing to calm the girl down.

"Leave the room for a bit. Maybe he is overwhelmed by everything. Don't worry, I will calm him down."

The trio nodded their heads and walked out, hoping their coach will be able to fix whatever had happened now.

'Isagi! Kurona! Hiori! Yukimiya! Where are they?! Did they abandon me?! Kunigami and Gagamaru said we would eat together!' The girl started crying louder as the blonde looked down at her in worry.

"Maybe his stomach is upset? Don't worry, Chris is here to make the pain go away- AUCH! DON'T PULL ON MY HAIR LIKE THAT!" The blonde cried out, trying to remove her hands from his hair.

It's pretty much safe to say that the crying continued for 2 hours. The trio, worried that (Y/n) might get sick called Anri and explained everything that had happened up until that point. The woman was at first clueless what could be the issue, since she did eat, sleep, and play normally while she was with her team. And that's when it hit her!

"Teieri-san, what's in that bag?" Nagi asked as he covered his ears, annoyed with the crying. Reo and Chigiri were too occupied with trying to calm the girl down to notice anything until Anri spoke to them.

"Let me take over now. I know what may be causing him distress." The woman said as the two nodded at her while (Y/n) was quietly sobbing now. Chris stayed quiet as he stood next to Nagi, watching in curiosity as she showed the toddler her bag.

"You miss your friends, don't you?" Anri asked quietly as (Y/n) looked at her in confusion. The woman smiled and wiped the tears off of her face.

"Isagi, Kurona, Hiori, Yukimiya, Kunigami, and Gagamaru. You miss them, right?"

At the mention of their names, (Y/n) looked around the room, only to sigh sadly when she didn't see them.

"They are busy now, but you will see them soon. In the meantime, I brought you these. I asked the merchandise team to send them to me." Anri smiled as she revealed the plushie forms of the players. (Y/n) stopped sobbing as she looked at the soft items that were placed in front of her, the other 3 players and their coach staring in surprise as Anri smiled and slowly backed away.

"That won't work-" Reo started, but got interrupted as the girl let out a few giggles before taking Isagi and Gagamaru's plushies and pulling them into a hug, the sane thing being repeated for the others.

"This is so adorable!!" Anri squealed as she watched the girl play with the plushies, completely ignoring the sour mood of the trio.

"This isn't fair! Why are they his favorites?" Chigiri asked in frustration as Nagi huffed.

"We literally did everything for him to calm down." Nagi added in.

"Yeah, why are they getting special treatment?" Reo asked, glaring at the soft toys as Chris laughed a little.

"I am guessing since he spent most of his time with them, he created a better bond with them. After all, you guys did barge in and take him away." Chris explained as the trio grumbled that it still wasn't fair. (Y/n) remained blissfully ignorant to everything and continued playing with the toys, enjoying to finally see their familiar faces.

[hyqerfixation]

WAITER SAT AT THE TABLE

-art by ringorenji88 on twitter.

OKKK YAKUZA PILLARS WE LOVE..

Kny boys Drabble NOT FINISHED..

---------------------------------------------

"oh shit for real? The pillars are here!? " the pianist asked in shock

"yeah u can see them in the vip seating on the other side of the casino"

"oh for fuck sakes, another fight is probably gonna happen some time soon. "

"you bet"

After hearing the two colleagues gossip Y/n placed her old hairbrush back into her bag.

“What the fuck are pillars?” Y/n thought.

The strip club was definitely something,a popular angle wing in the outskirts of the city of japan

But how could she describe this club?

Utter shit

Female hookers only had a little bit to get ready for their customers, and the bartenders had even less time to change into their uniforms and set the stools down before the casino gets ready

Too add on, the club didn't have a wonderful dressing room for performers to get "all dolled up," as many owners put it, so she dressed up in the ladies employees restroom as long with her female colleagues.

____________________________________________

"HELP Y/N I CANT ZIP MY DRESS UP AND I HAVE TO GO OUT ANY MINUTE!"

"ume calm down jesus fucking crist, Turn around ill do the zip."

Y/N zipped up the performers outfit, which was way more flashier then her skutty uniform.

"daki ur late ur supposed to be on stage letter A right now!"

Another performer exclaimed, rushing daki out of the females room.

"OKAY OKAY I'M COMING ALRIGHT" daki turned around to y/n who was also supposed to be out on her shift right now.

"LET'S MEET UP LATER MM K?"

Y/N sighed lightly while giving a suttle smile

"sure" y/n replied on her way to follow daki to the exit.

Y/n exited the bathroom, leaving her aftershow clothes in on the bathroom sink as long as her bag, and began shifting her fingerless gloves.

“I should’ve pretended to sick today smh” she thought.

"hey y/n! What's up w being late all the time. We could've had a smoke break together."

"i would of been here five minutes ago but I was helping your sister "

Y/ns workmate, also known to be gyutaro rolled his eyes as he gave y/n her note pad and biro pen.

"whatever dude, but come tell me when your on your next break so we can go smoke mm k?"gyutaro said

Y/N waved him goodbye as she slowly walked away.

"we could've talked longer if u came on the right fucking time."

"mm k!" y/n mimicked, taking notes how the siblings act like each other.

Y/N walked out of the bar counter and pushed a stool aside her to continue on to taking orders.

Yet while she looked around she noticed all her work mates avoided the back left,also known as the more "mightier side". Was there someone big there? But if it was someone famous there wouldn't everyone be offering to take their order?

It didn't make sense.

Y/N walked towards to back without a ponder. There wasn't anyone to take the people's orders since the waiters scurried to take their orders, as if they were avoiding a certain table.

'whatever this is; i need that bag, so I guess I'm just going to have to deal with whatever hits me.' y/n thought.

High heels clanked on the ground while y/n search for a table to assist, only for-

"y/n! Y/n!"

She turned around.

"sasumaru? What's up with you?"

Sasumaru was one of y/ns closet friends at the casino, besides the siblings. She wanted to be a volley ball player but failed at everything ever since she was put under house arrest.

"I'm begging you to do that vip table! All of us are to scared to do it!"

"Well why, its not like they are gonna try to kill u for getting their order wrong."

Sasumaru laughed sarcastically

"they tried to kill yahaba because he asked if they wanted ice in their drink!" sasumaru exclaimed, rocking y/n back and fourth by the collar.

"whatever, I'll do it" y/n dead panned

"Are u so sure after hearing what I just told u!" sasumaru panicked even more

"yes it's fine I'll just do what they say, no questions, no ice."

Sasumaru stopped and starred at y/n

"Now will you let me go?" y/n asked.

"AAAAA UR SO COOL Y/N!!! SO BRAVE TOO, JUST LIKE ME"

Y/N pulled sasumaru off her and continued to walk to the vip room

'if u were brave like me, u would be walking to the vip lounge' y/n giggled to her self.

"hey babe what's ur number?"

"look at the fat in her back!"

"I would smack that"

Y/N grumbled to her self about these comments, much to her dismay shes pretty much used to the cat calling here. The manager doesn't really give a shit about the treatment his female employees get here.

'tch, whatever. Fucking saddos'

Y/N walked to the vip table, no in closer inspection she saw a group of men.

Rich men.

Rich and powerful men.

How could y/n tell they were powerful? Doesn't the silent tables of men around them tell you enough? What about the employees refusing to serve any where over here? Is that enough?.

"what could I get for you guys" y/n asked carefully, remembering what happend to yahaba.

"finally someone flashy to help us order!" one of the men said. His hair silver white with magenta eyes that popped. Jewellery coated his body with a expensive tuxedo.

"can I please just have some water? I hope that's okay." the other man said, he was way more bigger then the others and had a red beaded necklace on, his eyes were-wait, is he blind?

"CAN I PLEASE HAVE SOME HOT WINGS" a booming voice asked, his eyes were orange and red, matching with his hair.

"shut the fuck up Kyojuro. I want a sex on the beach cocktail" another white haired male asked, his appearance way more scary then the others with his scars that show from his face to where the tuxedo is undone to show more scars.

"I want the same as sanemi!" the male from the start exclaimed again.

Y/N noted all of these

"anything else?"

"how about you darling?" the flashy man asked. y/n internally screamed inside.

"can uzui shut his mouth for ten seconds" the man known as uzui smacked the scar face beside him while the others laughed.

Y/N walked away when they finished their order.

Okay! Maybe they are a little bit imtimidating.

Yeah, especially when she realised she saw them on the news for murder half way through their order.

But it's fine. It won't bother her THAT badly. Would it?.

"what's up with you? You are all shaken up."

"I just realised I was taking the fucking pillars orders"

"Are you fucking stupid? Everyone knew that's why they stayed closer to the entrance."

Y/N clicked her tounge, she knew that she was stupid but she Just wanted some more money! Cut her some slack!

"I did hear the pianist talk about it outside of getting changed. I didn't really deep much into it though."

Gyutaro placed the drinks on a round black tray along with some hot wings.

"I mean it's your problem now, and to be honest if they didn't like you, you would have been dead by now."

Y/N awkwardly smiled, knowing shes fucked.

"yeah yeah whatever."

She grabbed the tray and started to walk back towards the mobsters

I mean are they really mobsters? even though how imtimidating they were, they somewhat respected you.

They respected you way more then other people you are close with.

"look at her body."

"she's hot."

"yo guys should I ask for her number?"

At this point y/n couldn't even hear the things that were said about her. She was too focused about the men on the Vip table. Is she scared? Incredibly. Is she going to act like nothings bothered her about them? Yes. She is.

The platform heels platters the floor, alarming the men on the table.

"I see your back so soon"

The bling guy said, clasping his hands together.

"took her time didn't she." the scarface complained, tapping his finger on the table.

"don't be so rude sanemi."

" and how the fuck am I being rude?!?"

Y/N placed their drinks down, ignoring how her body's shaking from the pillars infront of her.

"so lady! How long have you been working here?"

Y/N paused at what she was doing and looked up to the fire head who just asked her a question.

"just under a year."

Kyojuro nodded and smiled

"that's nice, you look so young though how old are you?"

Sanemi who sat on the edge of the table hanged his leg out

"I bet not a day over 19"

Y/N chuckled lowly, letting her guard down

"I'm 23"

Uzui spat his drink out

"HUH"

Gyomei smiled towards y/n, he felt comfortable around her arua.

He couldnt explain it, she just seems nice to hang around with.

Y/N chuckled again

"do I really look that young? -"

"NO WAY UR MY AGE"

Uzui shouted light heartily, maybe he could have a 4th wife.

"how about she sits down with us? Since u guys are obsessing over her like bitchy dogs."

Sanemi complained, true they were acting like dogs, but he would be lying if he didn't want to talk to y/n too.

"that's not a bad idea!" Rengoku exclaimed while tengen patterned on the the sofa like chair in between him and Kyojuro.

"how about you sit here precious?"

Y/Ns face paled, does she have a choice? I mean she doesn't mind sitting between them she's just worried her boss would think she's slacking off again.

"don't force her, remember she has a job to do." gyomei said to the two, for sanemi to agree

"I'll pay her to sit with me, her job is to get money from customers right? Come sit down with us darling."

Uzui said, while rengoku took a few papers out of his wallet.

"It's fine if you don't want to! We will still pay for our drinks." Rengoku re assured y/n.

Y/N smiled softly, forgetting her worries about any of them.

"cmon girl they will be asking all night if u don't say anything." sanemi grumbled, embarrassed of the two weirdos on the table with him.

"sure.but not for to long"

"BETTER THEN NOTHING!" Rengoku shouted, for uzui to nudge sanemi to move for y/n to get in.

Sanemi stood up and put his hand on her shoulder.

"come on uzui we don't have all day."

"Sorry my fatass Is making it harder to get out, I know you can't relate sanemi" uzui chuckled to make sanemi embarrassed. Y/n chuckled lowly, just to embarrass him more.

"whatever, in you get girl"

Y/N nudged over to Kyojuro, only to smile at each other while ignoring gyomei telling uzui to not body shame anyone.

"It's not my fault he fails at squats" uzui said nudging over to sit next to y/n

Which made her sandwiched between two physco extroverts who wears expensive tuxedos

Nothing else could get worse then it already is.

"so pretty face, what's your name?" sanemi asked, fed up of the name calling.

"I bet her name is really cool!"

"I bet its something snazzy"

Gyomei took a sip of his water and looked over to y/n

"whatever her name is, it would be beautiful."

Y/N was going to answer sanemis question once she had some of uzuis drink, that he offered her.

"my name is -"

"Y/N."

[cambion-companion]

Hey, so I have an idea for a Raphael prompt

Okay, so u know players who have a tendency to hoard items like scrolls, potions, and all this other good stuff because they "might need it later" but never use it? I'd like to see how raphael, A creature of law and order, would react to tav having to dig through their pack full of items to find something specific in the mess, but like halfway through they give up and just upend the pack. And Raph is just there, baffled, disgusted, but also marginally impressed because how. How can one person have so. Much. Stuff. Useful stuff they don't use.

i thought it'd be funny but anyway, have a good day!

YES absolutely delightful prompt, thank you friend :)

Also Tav has intelligence of 8 in this.

"I know it's in here somewhere." Tav sighed in exasperation, arm-deep in their bag of holding, feeling all the many bits and bobs they'd hoarded thru the months. "I just have to...aha!" Tav triumphantly withdrew their hand only to find they'd snagged a rather fetid piece of jerky. "Oh...no...no that's not it."

Raphael gave them a deadpan stare, lip curling slightly at the sight of the long-expired strip of meat. Tav had been trying to find a quill for the past several minutes, he shifted his weight onto one foot, placing a fist on his hip. "Perhaps you'd allow me to-"

"No, no!" Tav was now more determined than ever to scrounge up a writing utensil, they were now almost up to their armpit in their enchanted bag. "Ah...ewww! Astarion! What the hell is this?"

Watching from several paces away, Astarion shrugged. "I thought I might get peckish later."

"Disgusting." Tav rolled their eyes and upended the bag, giving it a good shake as a great many items began falling out onto the floor of Raphael's den.

The devil watched with mild annoyance and no small amount of exasperation, he was sincerely beginning to reconsider his decisions. "Unless you wish for all of this...chaos to be incinerated, desist immediately."

Tav was already done dumping the many things they'd looted in a haphazard pile and was rifling through the contents, looking still for a functional quill.

A spark of flame ignited at the tip of Raphael's fingers as he began to raise his hand to make good on his threat. Then his eyes caught on something shining amongst the numerous pieces of junk. "That ring there, another piece of waste I assume?"

Tav followed where he pointed and picked up the item in question, looking it over. "Hmm, yeah. I dunno...haven't bothered to have it inspected. Interested?"

"Not especially." Raphael lied smoothly, looking elsewhere for a moment before returning his attention to Tav. "However, I am in a generous mood. What would you sell it for?"

Tav thought hard, an astounding feat by Raphael's estimations. "Four hundred gold."

"That's quite steep for such a trinket." Raphael frowned at the impetuous creature. "However, I am quite fond of rubies. I'll give you two hundred."

"Two hundred and fifty."

"Done."

The ring was passed to Raphael and he pocketed it with a slight smile. A ring of three wishes would come quite in handy.

"Now, clean up this mess." Raphael waved his hand imperiously over the pile Tav had returned rifling through. "Before I lose my patience."

[ashensgrotto]

Never Had A Friend (Like Me) - Part 3

Original art piece by pfbatakopd on twitter (Used only for Header. Do NOT REPOST ORIGINAL ART)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 (You Are Here)

YandereSoulmate! AU:

Part 1 (Am I Feeling Love?)

Part 2 (Protective)

Part 3A & Part 3B (Poor Unfortunate Souls)

Characters: Azul Ashengrotto X F!Reader

Word Count: 9,105

Synopsis: A chance for redemption comes in the form of a wish…

Author’s Notes: Ok, here we go. I received an anonymous message in my inbox for the next part of the Yandere!Soulmate series and I was actually going to work on it - but with the arrival of GloMas, working on the next part of ‘Raison D’être,’ wanting to finish “Weren’t You Aware, Angelfish?”, AND the holidays, time got away from me and I forgot about Scarabia’s segment for a short while. 

However, because you all seem to enjoy this and want to know if the tako has redeemed himself - I figured I would work to get this part done. Now, warning - Pompefiore’s part is going to take a bit of time to complete because I will have to wiggle my way through my memory bank and replay a few parts of it (which is approx 76 chapters in length for those players who haven’t made it that far into the game yet) since I’m working so deep into Ignihyde’s chapter right now (which is a doozy - I’m still in chapter 67-tower 1, oof help).

This one is also going to be split into three parts - I promise it will not be a long wait for the second & third parts as this is my Christmas gift to all of my readers <3

Thank you all for your continued support!

Notes: Last part of 'A Friend like Me'!

Pompfiore's part will take some time to go through - I'm likely going to be busy up until the second or third week of January, hence I will be taking a short Hiatus from Yandere!Soulmate AU to focus on a few other projects. I will also be updating Raison D’être in the next few weeks after the holidays have passed.

Thank you everyone for your continued support and I will see you in the next story!

Warnings are as follows: yandere behaviors, manipulation, imprisonment, & hypnosis

***

Can your friends do this? Can your friends do that?

Can your friends pull this out their little hats?

Can your friends go - POOF!

***

Azul shook his head as he pulled himself up off the ground after landing, brushing himself off. He took in his surroundings, noticing that he still seemed to be within the Scarabia dorm, but unsure of where. Sands still surrounded him from all angles - making him feel more like a mer out of water than anything else - and a noticeable chill hung in the air, cold enough to make out the fiat traces of one’s breath as it hung in the air. Azl’s eyes shifted around as his mind began to refocus. Where was he? And… where were you?

“(Y/n)? (Y/n)!” he spun around before hearing your grunt as you pulled yourself up from under a pile of sand and fur.

“Owww…” Grim clutched at his head, his eyes screwed shut as he moaned softly, “I really can’t catch a break around here…”

“I feel that…” you sigh, sitting back on your knees, gripping your lower back as you wince in pain.

“(Y/n)! Are you alright?!” Azul moved quickly, his breath coming out in pants as he knelt beside you, his gloved hands tilting your head up to examine you. 

You were covered in sand and were shivering from the cold, your teeth chattering as you took in deep breaths. Your face had a cut on the forehead and your eyes seemed a little hazy, dazed from the landing. You steadied yourself against Azul’s hold, the warmth of his gloves warming your cheeks.

“I’m alive… barely. It felt like he knocked us into next week and then some.”

“It would appear that he flung us some distance. Are you two alright?”

“Fine - given that we were knocked to the ends of the earth,” you answer as Azul pulls you up with Grim in your arms, “Where’s Jade? Floyd? Kalim?”

“Over here, shrimpy!” the tuba voice of Floyd spoke a little ways away as he approached, his arms wrapped around himself, “Brr! It’s seriously cold here. It’s like we’re under the ice floes or somethin’.”

You feel a shudder rattle through you as Azul wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close to keep you semi-warm under the covering of his overcoat. The temperature here was noticeably different from when you were in the Scarabia dorm - it would seem that at the edge of the desert dorm was freezing like the inside of an icebox. 

Jade was crouched beside Kalim, the ex-headwarden of Scarabia, rubbing his forehead as the others approached, “Where am I?”

“Good, you’re awake,” Jade sighed in relief, “I believe we are at the edge of the dimension that contains the Scarbia dorm.”

“So… Jamil literally did send us to the ends of the earth,” Grim chirped in surprise, before glowering, “When we get back there, I’m going ta let ‘im have it-”

“How, though?” you asked, “We don’t have any carpets, or brooms.”

“And with this cold, I doubt Kalim and (Y/n) will last long out here,” Azul nodded in agreement.

“It’ll be a slog,” Floyd shrugged, “but walkin’s our only way back.”

“Floyd,” Azul growled, “we spent quite a bit of time in flight before we landed here. It could take hours - wait, more likely days at this rate - to trudge back on foot. And… I can’t take another minute of you with that voice. I’m tearing up the contract and annulling it.”

“O-oh c-come on, Azul,” you shiver, trying to be light-hearted, “H-he’s h-having f-fun.”

“Having fun, my ass, (Y/n),” Azul grumbled, “That voice is annoying me - even more so than his normal one. Back to the old voice, Floyd.”

“Aww… but I like bein’ all baritone.”

A snap of his fingers and the contract disintegrated, leaving Floyd clearing his throat as his normal voice returned to him.

Kalim let out a soft sniffle then, “Jamil… I trusted you.”

“Hey, you cryin’, sea otter? Your tears are gonna freeze over, ya know,” Floyd asked.

“It’s all my fault…” Kalim sobbed a little harder, “I drove Jamil to the brink without realizing it. The real Jamil would never do such things! He’s a good guy… always helping me… giving me a shoulder to lean on… and… and…”

Azul rolled his eyes. Before he could open his mouth however -

“Isn’t th-that the a-a-attitude r-right there what d-drove him to th-the b-brink?” you asked, your voice shaking still from the cold.

“Wh-what…?” Kalim looked at you in awe.

 “Yikes, (Y/n) - you do go for the jugular sometimes…” Grim spoke up from his spot.

“I’m with shrimpy on this,” Floyd agreed, turning toward Kalim, “Sea otter, you’re… TOO nice. It’s kinda grating.”

“Grating?”

“Yes,” Jade nodded in agreement, “If I were betrayed in the same way you were - I’d lash out with a torrent of unmitigated verbal abuse to break them down mentally, then bind them and drag them beneath the waves. The way you blame yourself and to excuse Jamil’s behavior is… a tad galling.”

“Galling? Really? Kalim asked this as if it was a compliment, “But… Jamil would never betray me…”

“News flash; he did,” Floyd shouted.

“A-And the w-way he w-was m-making you out to be the b-bad guy and get you expelled is even m-more nerve-wracking,” you explain, “H-However… I d-do understand why Jamil d-did it.”

“Huh?” Kalim and Grim looked at you in shock.

“Allow me to explain,” Azul adjusted his glasses, “Kalim - you carry yourself like a goody-two-shoes, laughing off conflict with a flippant word or two. Those remarks, however, are barbs on the skin to those that are calculating and twisted - Jamil and myself being prime examples. They might seem like nothing, but to us - it makes us go crazy and push harder to see you reach your breaking point.”

“And w-when you d-didn’t, Jamil t-took alternative m-measures,” you finish.

“You seem to really know the inner workings here, (Y/n),” Grim commented, looking up at you.

“T-Takes one t-to know one,” you answer, looking at Azul.

“I would argue, though, that in Kalim’s case,” Jade spoke, clasping his hands behind his back, “that it might be simply a case of naturally innocent disposition.”

“So… what you’re saying is… that Jamil’s… a bad guy?”

“Extremely,” everyone says in unison.

“In that case,” Kalim stands, resting his hands on his hips, “I’d better get back fast! I have to punch Jamil and yell ‘Traitor!’”

“You ought to make him march to the oasis and back ten times,” Grim growled, his ears falling behind his head.

“That, and we’ll need to bring him to his senses fast,” Azul agreed, “If we don’t, his magic reserves will run dry and his life could be in danger.”

“And thus that puts us back where this whole conversation started,” Floyd grumbled, “How’d we get back? Walkin’?”

“If there was a river, we could swim back,” Jade commented, looking around, “Though, it appears the rivers here are all dried out.”

“So, lack of water is the problem?” Kalim asked with a knowing smile.

“Of course,” Azul answered, “Floyd and Jade can easily outpace brooms and magic carpets for that matter when they’re in their true forms. However, we can’t exactly restore a river - even my own magic wouldn’t be able to -”

“Maybe you can’t, but I can!”

“What?!”

“‘Oasis Maker’!” your eyes widened, “Kalim! T-That’s it!”

“What do you mean?” Azul asked, looking down at you, “I thought Grim said it was only a glorified waterspout.”

“‘Oasis Maker’ allows me to produce an enormous volume of water with just a smidgen of magical power,” Kalim explained, “If I make you a river, you can get us back to the dorm, right?”

“T-that’s… your signature spell?! That’s insane!”

“It’s pretty useless when you have running water, though,” Kalim shrugged.

“Some countries don’t HAVE that sort of infrastructure!” Azul shouted, “Great Sevens, Kalim! Your power would make you nothing short of a HERO to those people! That’s… that’s… ABSURDLY marketable!”

“Azul!” you smack his cheek light, returning him to the task at hand.

“Kalim, if you would oblige us?” Jade asked.

“Of course! One river coming right up!” Kalim smiled, closing his eyes as magic began to encircle him, “Then water you shall have… and I’ll make it cool and refreshing for you! Respite in the scalding sands, a never ending party. Dance! Sing! Oasis Maker!”

***

The dorm was still cloaked in darkness by the time the group returned, sneaking into the lounge.

The students of the Scarabia dorm all encircled Jamil, who lounged before them in the headwarden’s chair as he ordered the students about, each of them still entrapped in a puppet-like state.

“The good thing is that he hasn’t gone too far to the point of no return yet,” Jade commented, looking over the banister before turning to the group, “Azul - do we have a plan?”

“We’ll have to snap Jamil out of his trance as you’ve done to me,” Azul answered, “But we also need to get close enough for both Kalim and (Y/n) to reach him.”

“Huh?” Grim asked, “What do you mean?”

“I agree, it would be too dangerous for (Y/n) to get involved with this,” Jade answered.

You looked over at Jamil, a feeling and the same urge slowly growing within you.

“You feel it, then?” Azul asked you softly.

You turn and give him a slow nod, “I do.”

Azul huffed - he had little choice in the matter. He turned to the others, “Here’s the plan - (Y/n) and Kalim will take this side of Jamil while Jade, Floyd, and I distract him. Grim - I’m expecting you to form a barrier to keep unwanted guards out of the way.”

“No worries, Azul,” Grim gave a mischievous smirk of confidence, “Grim the Great is at your service!”

“Do you think we’ll be able to pull it off?” you ask quietly.

“Trust me, angelfish,” Azul winked, “You know what to do.”

The group split, hiding themselves among the crowd of students, slowly inching forward toward Jamil.

“Haha! That’s it… go on,” Jamil’s twisted voice spoke as he sat back in his chair, closing his eyes, “keep singing my praises.”

“I never realized what a gallant figure you cut.”

“You oughta LIVE on a throne…”

“Your intelligence is beyond compare.”

“There’s royalty, then there’s you.”

“You look so strong and powerful!”

“Jamil, Jamil, he’s our man, if he can’t do it… GREAT!”

Jamil bolted upright at the sight of the five exiled students standing before him, “Wait, it’s YOU?! I sent you to the ends of this dimension! How did you get back so fast?!”

Kalim stepped forward, a hand in front of you while Scarabia’s headwarden staff was clutched in his hand, “I filled a dry river with water and we swam back.”

“Not that it was a cakewalk,” Floyd growled, “I’ll tell ya - I’m pretty worn out!”

“Tch,” Jamil tsked darkly, “Now I see… you used Kalim’s signature spell. And here I’d written it off as a worthless gift only good for watering plants or filling a pool.”

“Heh - you clearly don’t appreciate Kalim’s power for what it is then,” Azul shrugged, gripping his cane tighter.

“Jamil - I now see what you’ve thought of me all this time. There can be no question now - you are a coward and a traitor!” Kalim shouted, “Face me in combat! I’ll win back the housewarden seat you’ve stolen from me.”

“You accuse me of stealing?” Jamil stood, the overblot power growing around him, “You’re the one who stole everything from me! Now you shall witness my true power! Cower before my might! Phenomenal… cosmic… power!”

A fire bolt was flung and everyone ducked as the puppet dorm launched forward.

Grim blew a wall of fire up, preventing the students from getting involved and kept his guard up should any of them attempt to bypass the barrier. Floyd and Jade shot forward, pens at the ready and spewed fire and flora at Jamil’s attacks, Azul following close behind. Kalim worked from the side, keeping you behind him as he waited for his opening.

Azul dodged an attack, gritting his teeth, “Sevens! How much power has he been hiding all this time?!”

“I refuse to give up!” Kalim shouted, a wave of water mixing with Azul’s ice shield forced Jamil further back, the overblotted vice warden now taking on the defense. 

Suddenly, Jamil’s power made everyone lose their footing, the group falling to the ground, “You little fools… you thought you could defeat the most powerful being on Earth!”

“Jamil! Snap out of it!” Kalim begged, looking up at his friend-turned-enemy, “You have always been powerful! You don’t need that darkness to prove otherwise!”

“You don’t understand!” Jamil shouted, “You always had to be the best! You always had to be better than me! I could never outdo you! I. Wasn’t. ALLOWED. TO! I was FINALLY going to be free… to be number one…”

As Jamil raised his hand, a figure darted to him… and another resounding ‘smack!’ echoed in the room as Jamil fell back.

“Jamil!” Kalim rushed forward, but was held back by Azul.

“Kalim! Wait!” Azul shouted.

“Azul? What’s going on?” Jade asked as he and Floyd watched on.

You stood before Jamil - eyes locked on each other as tears suddenly began to appear in Jamil’s eyes. 

“Jamil…” your voice was soft, barely above a whisper, “I’m so sorry you had to endure that life… to be forced to hide your true self behind the pretense of incompetence, to always be… second-rate. I know that pain of wanting to be number one, too. Life… has truly been unfair to you - but this is not the way to fight back. You fight back… by simply being you - show your true strength in your magic… in your abilities. Then… you’ll get the recognition you want and deserve.”

Jamil’s features shifted before them, an arrangement of anger, frustration, fear… and sorrow. He bowed his head and the darkness slowly receded from his form.

Azul and Kalim moved quickly - Azul to your side and Kalim to Jamil’s. Kalim leaned over Jamil’s form as the vicewarden slowly reawoken.

“Ngh… Where am I?”

“Good,” Azul smiled as he sat with you at Jamil’s other side, “You’ve regained your senses.”

Kalim started to sniffle before large fat tears rolled down his cheeks - the regained housewarden pressing his face into the carpeting as he cried Jamil’s name, “I-I’m so glad you’re alive… so so glad…”

“Must you always be so dramatic?” Jamil sighed, sitting up, “I’m fine.”

“I… I never knew… how miserable you were all this time *sniff* *hic*. A-All this time… I never knew *sniff* just how much I put you through… So, l-let’s just stop. We can stop holding back on account of our social status.”

“Um… what?”

You couldn’t help but chuckle softly as Kalim explained - relieved that the two could act as rivals for the spot of number one and - to be equals. Azul arched a brow at you in silent question.

“Azul - mind if I talk to you?”

“Not at all, angelfish.”

He followed you out into the hallway, away from mischievous eyes as you took a breath and gave the headwarden a small smile, “First and foremost - I want to thank you for your help. I know that it normally isn’t like you to poke your… tentacles in other people’s businesses unless there’s a deal to be had.”

“(Y/n),” Azul gave you a smirk, resting his hand on your shoulder, “If you recall when you first came here, I said I would take responsibility for you.”

“You also promised to get me home,” you reminded him.

“Yes - I did. The point I’m trying to make here is that… regardless of if you’re in Octavinelle or not, I will still want to protect you - to make sure you’re safe,” Azul answered, “Have I not done just that? Does this not prove that I’m more than willing to at least be there when you need it most?”

You let out a sigh and nod, “I suppose so.”

Azul nodded, tilting your head up to meet his gaze, “(Y/n), I want to be there for you, to help you… will you at least allow me a second chance to prove that I’m more than what I appear?”

You look at Azul wearily, your gaze shifting a bit before meeting his eyes again. 

His sea blue eyes, framed by the semi-rimmed glasses, still held a possessive desire within them - however, hope also burned within. He could have turned you away when you had initially asked for help, he could have ensnared you in a bubble - take away your voice - or even turn you into a mermaid again… and yet he didn’t. As you looked into his gaze, it seemed all Azul wanted… was another chance.

You let out a soft sigh and nod, “I think you should, and I believe you do. I would prefer to rewarm myself back up to you - which means I would like to stay in Ramshackle with Grim.”

Azul nodded, as much as he wanted to argue. He needed to get you to trust him again - which meant he would have to work extra hard to earn your favor again, “Very well. If you would like - I would be willing to help give you a few things that would help with the accommodations greatly. Whatever you wish, I will make it happen.”

“And what will you get out of it?” you ask, already knowing that Azul was looking for something.

“Your time,” Azul answered with a smile, “To be honest, the students of Octavinelle miss working with you. I know the headmage has you running ragged with janitorial duties, but if you could work a day or two in the lounge - I will consider it more than enough payment.”

“And, during my shifts, you’d be able to talk with me while we’re working.”

“Correct,” the headwarden nodded, “Does this seem like a fair deal to you?”

You nod in agreement, “More than, thank you.”

Azul offers a gloved hand, which you took with a shake.

The first steps to amending the bridge were in place… as well as the first steps toward an unknown trap.

[umbrify]

hello i saw u tagged jimmy solidarity on that "free my man he did none of that. he did a bunch of other shit though" post and i am incredibly compelled by the implications here. please may i have an essay on the subject

YOU MAY.

Okay so we’re gonna be specifically talking about Empires SMP Season 2 Jimmy (henceforth, Jimmy,) and the way he conducts himself, how those actions reflect on him, versus how he sees himself (and how the fandom sees him in turn). Welcome to my Ted Talk.

The most important thing to understand about Jimmy is that he lies. He lies about everything, and convinces himself that his lie is true to the point where he really thinks it is. Take, for example, a moment in Sausage’s episode 41 [full exchange from 9:10 - 19:37] where Jimmy kills Sausage, and then when Sausage, followed by fWhip, return to Tumble Town to discuss the murder, Jimmy blatantly lies about the altercation to fWhip, claiming “[Sausage] came over, and he assaulted me, fWhip!” Jimmy insists that it was Sausage who physically started it, despite that being completely untrue. Jimmy then goes on to deny having killed Sausage Sausage at all, sounding affronted at the idea and demanding to see the player head that drops on death. fWhip asks how many levels Sausage has, which is none, and Jimmy claims that Sausage must have used all his experience. Jimmy denies and lies, and when fWhip goes looking for Sausage’s things, finding them in Jimmy’s storage, Jimmy acts shocked, saying “I think I’m being set up! […] I’m gonna leave this conversation, you do what you gotta do, but I don’t think I’m the bad guy here.” As if Jimmy didn’t explicitly kill Sausage moments ago!! As if it isn’t his fault!!!

And the problem here, the core problem, is that so many people just… believe him. They take Jimmy’s words at face value and assume that he’s always a reliable narrator in his own stories, despite the fact that it couldn’t be further from the case. The issue is less that people assign New and Different problems to Jimmy, more that they strip him of any wrongdoing at all, making him out to be some sad little pathetic wet cat who didn’t deserve it. And— don’t get me wrong, he is extremely sad, but he also did it to himself.

I think one of the more interesting ways to illustrate this, is to talk about the way Jimmy perceives himself. From the start of the season, he always insists on being called “The Sheriff.” He’s not Jimmy, he’s The Sheriff, and throughout the season, he can be seen constantly insisting upon and chasing after that title. He wants respect— or, his version of respect. What he really wants is a yes man. This difference can very clearly be seen in the way he treats the two deputies he had throughout the season.

When fWhip was the deputy, it’s because he wanted to be. He sought Jimmy out because he wanted to be Jimmy’s right hand man, and Jimmy let him. fWhip consistently referred to Jimmy as The Sheriff, upholding Jimmy’s version of the laws as best he could. And, there really is something to be said about the fact that fWhip, as a goblin, inherently didn’t understand the concept of arbitrary laws, or that sort of morality at all, and was only one, upholding it because he cared about Jimmy, but two, treating the laws as Jimmy treated them— i.e, making a shrine for that which Jimmy made a church for, but that’s a whole separate essay that I want to write at some point. Either way, he was good to Jimmy, though their time together was short. He made Jimmy a home away from home in Gobland [fWhip episode 8 timestamp 20:28] and helped Jimmy win the court trial by serving as his lawyer in the case against Joel [Trial best seen in Jimmy’s episode 10 starts at 3:03]. After fWhip was fired, he went around Tumble Town noting down a bunch of “laws” that Jimmy was breaking. I wrote a whole post about this set of interactions already [here] but the short version is this: In fWhip’s episode 12 [5:54], he goes around and marks down all the laws that he’s saying Jimmy is breaking around Tumble Town. […] Of the seven instances that fWhip writes down, SIX of them almost directly relate to Jimmy not taking good care of himself or his empire. To me, it almost reads more like he cares about Jimmy, and is worried about him.

All this to say, that fWhip didn’t Respect The Sheriff as much as he Cared About Jimmy. And that’s an important distinction— he cared about Jimmy, the person. He had this whole veneer of respecting the laws— laws that he didn’t really understand— because he cared about Jimmy. And Jimmy fired him for a prank— one that wasn’t specifically targeted or malicious— because he saw that as Disrespecting The Sheriff. He didn’t want someone who Cared About Jimmy, he wanted someone who Respected The Sheriff. And fWhip wasn’t that.

Enter Scar.

During the Hermitcraft crossover, Scar started gunning for the position as deputy because he wanted the shiny deputy badge. That was it, that was the reason, and Scar acted accordingly. Everything was about acting like he Respected The Sheriff, even when he was blatantly breaking one of the core laws, wearing another player’s hat— both the sheriff hat [Jimmy episode 19 4:07] as well as trading away a sheriff hat, and being seen wearing one of Scott’s Chromia hats [Jimmy episode 22 14:27]. In this episode, Scar backhandedly compliments Jimmy, “oh, you’re just a… cute big guy, aren’t you?” to which Jimmy seems uncertain, asking “I’m real big, right?” to which Scar says he is. Jimmy then asks him about the Chromia hat Scar wears, and Scar tells him that he traded one of the sheriff hats to Scott. Jimmy gets upset at Scar, but before he can get properly mad, Scar distracts him by showing off a new section of Tumble Town that he made. Scar wears the mask of respect for just long enough to get the badge. When Jimmy gives him the badge, he says he has something else that he wants to give Scar as well. “I have found something real special for you, real special.” Scar says “I already got something special, this badge.” Jimmy says “you mean our friendship?” Which Scar dubiously agrees to. This is the last time Jimmy sees Scar before the hermits leave— Scar got what he wanted, and that was all. And yet, Jimmy hired him, because Scar put on the show. Scar was his yes man, Scar Respected The Sheriff, even if he didn’t Care About Jimmy.

He does it to himself, Jimmy does. He pushes away anyone that tries to care about him as a person, and surrounds himself with people that will be his yes men, his little sidekicks, anyone that holds the sheriff title in high regard. It’s why he takes so well to the Old Sheriff, who treats the sheriff title with the same reverence that he does, respecting the title of sheriff without actually respecting Jimmy much at all.

The thing about Jimmy is that he causes his own problems, and they’re all his fault. Yes he is crushingly lonely, and filled with self hatred, but he actively surrounds himself with it. It’s not that people are just inherently mean to him, he is almost asking them to be, by pushing away anyone that seems to care about him as a person.

I think, as my final note here, I wanna bring up a moment from Jimmy’s finale, episode 38. He and the Old sheriff, as they’re making their way to the Nether portal, discuss how fWhip only ever referred to himself as goblin fWhip, never as king. Jimmy says “I don’t think he ever held himself to the regard of being a king, and that— d’you know what? That sucks. He was my deputy for a while, he didn’t really think much of himself, I’m not gonna lie” [9:19]. I just find it interesting, that Jimmy says that it sucks how fWhip never called himself king— a title ostensibly higher than sheriff— and that fWhip was only a deputy. As if he thinks that fWhip could’ve been king, perhaps was worthy of the title, and just never took it— that he sees the taking of a title such as that to be so important, when for fWhip, it never was. I dunno, I just think there’s something to that. I think it says something about Jimmy and about the importance he places on titles that don’t really matter.

Jimmy ran away, in the end. He and the Old Sheriff ran far away from everything they ever knew. fWhip stayed, choosing to live out his days happily in the empire he helped to found. fWhip never took the title of king. Jimmy thinks he should’ve.

Isn’t that something?

[writingforatwistedworld]

Ah, I hope this isn't annoying, but I couldn't resist! I just read the request for the self-aware au, for a player who is actually a god and I really LOVED the idea!!! So if it's not too much trouble, could I ask for the exact same idea only with Ruggie, Riddle and Ace?

By the way, I love your blog and your work, I love your creativity!! ❤️❤️❤️

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsebility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, religion, obsessiveness, murder, blood, beheading, violence, death

My works are not meant to be taken seriously. Neither am I telling you in what kind of religion you are supposed to believe in.

Riddle Rosehearts/Ace Trappola/Ruggie Bucchi-Player is a real god

God of law and order

Oho, so we are actively trying to make him loose his mind (mhm good plan good plan)

I mean, come on, the Queendom of roses is a place I would rank “third-most-not-so-fluffy-relationship-with-you” and he grew up in there so what did you expect?

Something normal? Ha! You are making me laugh

But here we are, croquette master with a hedgehog in his hand in person, almost dropping his needely friend

But how did he even find out? Well… Leona. Leona and a lot of ink (you catching my drift, right?)

Things were looking south and everything was just so…. so… unruly

Mhm I can see how a God of law and order popped a blood vessel in that kind of situation

And whilst you aren’t some kind of being creating bloodshed and war getting hit by a rule book and whatever kind of abilities you have has to hurt

Also it was giving away who you truly were

I mean, yay? Now you have an (somehow possible) even more obsessive follower…

And they all wonder why he suddenly became so religious

Even if you are a more “chill” kind of entity concerning your field of work (the market of Gods is always having too little workers) he is still like “Nope Trey. Imma go pray to ruler number 168” or something like that

Like I said, religious

But oh dear heavens (u get it heavens in like… ok I’ll stop) someone disrespects you or tries to take his seat as “most devoted follower of the month”

Uh… he was in the mood for a “realistic” demonstration of how the Queen of Hearts would deal with annoyances

Just tell him that you are proud… otherwise I’m not sure that even the hedgehogs would tolerate him and his… rather red behaviour

God of trickery

Hmm… this one is kinda tricky

You see, he is from the Queendom of Roses but at the same time he is not powerful enough to do that much damage… with magic at least

When Ace found out that you were everything but a ordinary student you two were in a rather unhappy situation

I mean, either you make that huge glass thingy behind Riddle trip and fall or you can eat rose bush which it was swinging around like crazy… pick your poison

Ace isn’t the fatest tool in the shed but when you, a magicless student, suddenly used something akin to magic he knew that something was up

And who would have known, maybe if it wasn’t for the bad parenting of Riddles mother you may have hidden this until the day you would go separate ways

But oh well, seems like fate decided it wanted him to be religious

I mean, a God of trickery, something like that is perfect for him!

Not to mention that you are way more approachable than some God of law and order because who would want to follow such a stiff deity? (Jokes on you Ace but Riddle...)

Despite him being on the “chill, man” side I can also see a huge spike in religiousness in his personality

I mean, come on, it’s now literally proven with his own two eyes that God (or Gods) at least exist

You know that meme “he don’t but-YES IT DOES!” that’s him

My man just turns feral when someone dares to take your prescious attention and time away from him

Literally a menace, and not the peaceful kind

Before you know it he is asking you if you can help him dig holes for a “garden project”

In the middle of the woods. Aha. Totally believable

Well, all I can say is that Trey will probably miss the kitchen knife... yeah I would buy a new one and never use the old one again...

You know... Maybe the cake looks a bit red if he were blind and never noticed anything.... It's a “garden project”, ok? Let the man raise his Gladiolus, Aconitum, Lycoris and Chrysanthemum

God of kindness and equality

So we feeding the carnivores today? Sounds like a plan. Not a good one but at least it is one

Ruggie has always been someone who needed to clench his teeth and do stuff other people wouldn't do simply to have his basic needs fulfilled

So imagine you standing there one day, opening up that you are in truth literally the things he had been craving all his life for

Mhm, I am just had he doesn't have rabies. You could have fooled me with how aggressive he becomes towards new people (and also your own little circle to be honest) after finding that out

Here we are, Leona is dealing with his stuff in an unhealthy way and someone needs to step up and bring him down to earth again

But imagine his surprise that you were actually the good of kindness after you slapped our local lion who may or may have not escaped from the Zoo next door back into reality (and out of his doom)

After he spends even more time with you it starts to make sense thought

Even though he is the closest person to Leona which could be used for someone's benefit people still tend to be at least wary of him because... well broken bones hurt, you know?

But here you are, holding out your hand to him, offering him your kindness and friendship

Though you could have said “marry me” because win his eyes that is exactly what you did

And who is he to say no to such an perfect being literally being from heaven (or whatever higher place)

He is scratching, biting, kicking and using all the dirty tricks in the book just to keep you alone, isolated and all for himself

Of course he won't do that in front of you, he isn't a monster! Such a pure and perfect being lime you doesn't need to witness such a thing!

If you thought that Diasomnia is already bad then I would say yes, he is only a teeny tiny bit better than them

Why? Oh well, he doesn't have the magical or physical strength to start a war

That doesn't mean he won't leave you alone

Oh no

You will spend somewhere the rest of the time he exists in a small in the middle of nowhere thinking that everyone despises you

He has a way with words (and sharp, suspiciously red teeth) you know?

[puckpocketed]

UPON FURTHER RESEARCH i may have found the unluckiest girl in the world, Canadiens edition. this is old news to a lot of people but its news to ME!!!!! David Reinbacher uou have been throuhg the trenches hello take my fin GET BEHIND ME

drafted in Bedards draft year but also the next 3 guys are Carlsson-Fantilli-Smith . and everyone and their mother was wondering who was gonna get Michkov. what an act to follow RIP

CAREY PRICE BLUE SCREENED WHILE CALLING OUT HIS NAME. CAN'T MAKE THIS UP!! "Bonsoir, Les Canadiens de Montreal are proud to select, David….........." HELPPPPPP???

to make things worse people sent him thousands of awful messages. AS THOUGH IT WAS HIS FAULT HE GOT DRAFTED INSTEAD OF THE OTHER KID. the messages included death threats and comparisons to hitler (he is austrian. and me. well. I am lighting them all on fire ! <3 )

so the Habs send him back to the NL to let him develop without the pressure of this accursed fucking market right. that should be fine. right.

BOOM !INJURY!!! TWO INJURIES!! im wailing... sobbing... when will it end

His team, Kloten, acquired a new GM the year before. whats the worst that could happen?

THREE DIFFERENT COACHES! AT ONE POINT THE GM IS COACHING??

Kloten were sort of average the year before but this year its flop city. 17-29-6 ahaha <3

god . their system is. not good. per this article -> "Gerry Fleming, named this summer and who was coaching at the opening of the season, is responsible for turning a fairly interesting 22-23 team into a very bad one, including making them defend man on man all over the defensive zone."

and reinbacher saw the most use of all the defensemen in rotation for yet another season. helo .

most difficult match ups. second worst team in the league. so of course he sees a regression in production from his draft year, and during what was supposed to be a season for development this is.Not Good!!!

gonna just. leave some of thee most devastating/endearing quotes from this article below:

like even the nicest fans are sort of holding their noses about him at the time. like oh. him? not an exciting pick at all, according to many. not what the Habs need, in a draft year stacked with offensive talent. not flashy. unsexy, well-rounded hockey. consensus best defenseman on draft day but that's still not good enough !!

weight of the world type beat…gotta prove you're worth that high draft pick. gotta show them they shouldn't have sent you back. they saw there was a mote of excellence in you once and surely if you try to do everything on your own they'll see it again right? <3 ahahahaha.... !

and finally their season ends and the habs reassign him to the AHL. christ alive!!!!!!

he makes his AHL debut with the Laval Rocket and does pretty well!! scores his first goal !!

here's something that made me scream. what are u doing to him, montreal...................

Anyway. the boys in Laval call him Rhino (alt spelling: Reino?) and thats ADORABLE and hes going right beside all the other dmen in my heart .tucking him in carefully!!!!

whatever the hell is goin on with him and Lane Hutson.... i love when two players are bonded cats at the shelter. cosmically fated to be each other's d-pair? hello <3

what if we were prospects and everyone thought we fit together perfectly. what then.

feeling very hinged and regular. hello. unluckiest girl in the world David Reinbacher . <3

[yutasbimil]

Frisky

kenma x fem!oc | haikyuu ff. (time-skip!older kenma) ✦ (3/~) [series fic] !!! also posted on my ao3 acc! { here } tags: fluff, slight angst (not really), smut cw: nsfw minors dni, minor plot, fingering, oral, teasing, established relationship, kinky, orgasm denial, quickie, public sex, fingering, edging, swallowing, exhibitionism(?) HELP THIS IS NEW TO ME ACK, interrupted lol, FLUFF!!! D; note: not that comfy w/ 2nd POV, tho no specific characteristics are mentioned on the fem!oc so pls feel free to imagine as y/n or YOU ♡ word count: 3.9k

part 1 | part 2

do not repost © yutasbimil (2022)

"She's as shy as you, huh?"

Kenma looked in the direction Hinata was looking at, and there he saw across the room, his girlfriend handling some of her daily dose of required socialization for the day. It looks like she's stammering over talking to some Karasuno players.

"She actually handles conversation better than I do, to be honest," Kenma responds, and at the back of his mind, he suppresses a grin.

If only he knew how she can be wild and explorative on other terms. Though, of course, he wouldn't actually let Hinata know that piece of information 'bout her girl.

Kenma kept a bashful smile to himself.

It's no surprise she got close with Kenma the most. She’s usually an anxious person. But the quietness and softness of the guy’s presence go beyond easing her nerves. Mai is scared of tall people, especially men. Though, she's got no problem with talking with her boyfriend’s best friends and her seniors.

It’s also child’s play to see a (preferred color)-haired fellow shaking in a sea of red and black and expect it to be Mai.

Three teams are scheduled to have a team play practice for the week. Though, the game sets are almost finished for the day, hence why it's cooling down at the moment.

Kenma felt a cold bottle by his forearm, turning to expect a gleeful orange-haired guy near him.

“No wonder she’s friends with your girlfriend,” Kenma muttered.

Hinata raised a brow, following Kenma’s line of vision, directing at Yachi and Mai. 

“Huh? She’s not my girlfriend.” Hinata says, keeping an eye on the girls. Hinata almost put a foot forward as the two girls flinched at some Shiratorizawa players, particularly the tall red-haired male with a big smirk on his face.

Mai also shared how that guy gives her the creeps. He can be quite unpredictable.

For a while, Hinata breathes out, followed by a grin as the other girl manages to answer the tall male. “Oh, so that’s your girlfriend, Kenma-san.”

“Don’t say ‘girlfriend’ too much.” he scratches the side of his face, flustered by the attention since earlier but nods. “Yes. I'll introduce her to you later.”

He walks out of the court, managing to divert the attention off his reddened ears.

-

Mai can be the bravest person he knows if it's about pushing herself to the edge or trying out new things. And Kenma knows he is one of the forces that influence her to do better outside her comfort zone, and vice versa.

It just so happens they are also on the same page in terms of sex.

It can be in terms of letting her lay on her back and testing her gag reflex through mouth-fucking her. Other specific situations would be doing the riskiest shits in-game, or while they're in a call with their friends. With Mai in between his legs as they're trying their best to conceal the fact that he's getting the best head whilst leading their game. Even stepping it up a notch further by doing it while they’re on their casual call in their Disharmony server.

Hell, Kenma also didn't know he had that in him and would be interested in those types of kinks.

Looks like he's been corrupted. Mai and her corruption kink winning.

Mai would be "mad" at that for blaming her. He already can hear her sassing him how: "You're kinky! I'm just bringing out your fullest potential."— As if she's the one who is responsible for that.

Well, if that's the case… I'll make her responsible.

Kenma felt a tent standing up by his gym shorts, much to his uncomfiness. Man, what an inconvenience.

And this is all just for letting his mind trail off to Mai.

It’s not anything related to her personally, or that they got any issues going on. But Mai noticed a slight distant or odd atmosphere between them, more so as they met eyes. Or rather, it passes through with Kenma immediately diverting his glances from her and looking away.

He seems to stifle something at the back of his throat, but she can’t quite pinpoint it. Kenma’s expression is hidden behind his hand on his face.

“You okay, Yachi-san?” Hinata picks up the last of the volleyballs on the ground. They’re about to wrap up the practice matches.

“J-just tired, I guess. I never had the chance to accommodate three teams in one gym.” she pried as she helps Mai with the other end of the net. Mai just quietly nods in agreement, there’s also an obvious tiredness in her dragging her feet.

Kenma feels a strong gaze towards him, it’s anything else but the anxious eyes that he saw from Mai earlier. It may be the effect he has on easing her but noticing a hint of depth and darkness on it. He can’t help but let a cold sweat slip off his head, swallowing a bit of saliva left from his dry throat.

The game sets parched him.

He glances back at her as if they’re dancing through glances. Hers didn’t seem to waver. It’s the same firm look as she’s not much anxious going down on him, even while streaming, she even manages to give him head despite the possible consequences. With him being quiet– She really admires how he can still play well and concentrate as if she isn’t there to distract him– though now, his quietness is not much at the advantage as maybe Mai thought they have a problem.

But this is not even about asserting a stand. Yet she still manages and knows she got him on the edge at the palm of her hands, quite literally.

Pulling him back into reality, was the dry towel hitting him and a look from Mai cold as the water handed to him, obviously a pout written on her lips.

I’ve got to tell her.

"Let's go change together." With no spare clothes at hand, it was more of an initiator from Kenma to tease Mai. He didn’t have any shame blurting that out as they were at a bit more secluded part of the courtyard. More on the supply closet behind the gym. But it still gave Mai a burning blush to hear that out loud from Kenma.

"Dummy, that's not allowed!" she smacks his shoulder, and the added skin contact didn’t help.

"So?" Kenma kept a stoic face just remaining his stare at her till she melted.

"Noooo! You're giving me ideas." Mai went in and covered her whole face. Is he darn serious just now?!

Of course, it was just to tease her, and it worked.

He stifled a laugh.

Mostly the reason he joked was to just initiate from the awkward atmosphere, but now that they have gone quiet again. Both of their mouths agape, as if racing to who can speak and tell each concern first.

They talked over each other at the same time.

“Mai.”

“Ken, I–”

The girl didn’t manage to finish laying out her thoughts as she was suddenly sneaked into the supply closet with him. With her back thumping lightly on the wall, the other spare balls even quiver as they hear people pass by the door.

As if panicked, she also held her breath as Kenma pinned her down in between his arms to stay put. It was only momentarily, though Mai had confusion outlined on her brows.

“Why did you need to hide us here though?”

Kenma’s silence also picked up on the unnecessary reaction. It just happened. His grip losing on her shoulders also signaled him to calm down. “Out of instinct, I guess.”

He could only answer, though, he was also thinking about where to treat her for later. What was he supposed to say again? The supply closet isn’t the most tasteful idea to come up as a ‘date’ with to be real. Kenma does have the same closeness and intimacy like this in mind though. 

His proximity and the quietness to the point she can hear his breathing distinctly on her end though... It didn’t help much further on her ‘overlooked issues’ as to why they were put to discuss in the first place.

“Off topic but want to make this quick?” Kenma asks out of the blue. It is not off-topic on what she had in mind though, but it seems that they’re not far in their in-the-gutter thoughts.

Even though it’s not well lit up in the small space, Kenma has his face close to hers, he must take precautions. He does have those types of thoughts in mind, but he has to make sure.

Lightening up the mood again, trying, he says. “Are you okay… making this quick? If I take the lead?”

“Eh?” Like lead in what way? Mai is thinking of something else, but she’s not absolutely sure. Mai rubs her legs. Is he joking again? 

But by his look, he's looking straight at her. Seriously, if I may add.

The unintentional friction she just did was a very bad idea, adding his deep stare at her.

Kenma inches closely to her carefully, checking if she's okay with it. There’s a shift in his tone as she’s still not budging nor getting any utterance out of her. 

“Are you still upset over something that has to do with your look the whole day?”

So that was what he meant by the quick pace in mind? Well, on his part, Kenma is considerate. He knows she wants to talk about something as well.

She places her fingers lightly by his shoulder, barely pressing weight. Is that how it came across to him? Oh no.

Mai shakes her head. “It's not that I'm mad or anything… no.”

She’s got her own issues as well, that’s all… Looking down, she saw how Kenma’s pants aren't much ready to spell out his problems yet, so Mai started. I am getting him worked out ever since earlier as well, is that it?

“I’m just… aroused.” She hopes at the back of her mind as well, he’s feeling the same by the bop of his Adam’s apple. 

Kenma blinks. “W-what?”

She rubs her legs once more, uncontrollably flustered.

“It’s just I saw how good you were– I mean, you’re always great as a setter– but I think it’s my hormones… it’s really been a while since I saw you guys play, an-and on how fired up you were earlier. I only see that whenever you’re playing against Shoyo’s team– I just found you hot.”

She barely got through, stumbling over her words on how fast she was sputtering her words.

He could only be rendered speechless by his girlfriend’s act.

All this time, it’s the same with Kenma. 

So… what the fuck? They were just looking sullen all day because they were preying and just have the hots for each other???

“Is t-that so?” His sigh of relief came off as a chuckle. Good. It was just a different kind of tension. Period.

She just prolonged it but it’s basically what got her so worked up. Especially how Kenma is so fixated on how she's acting right now. She could only swallow up a bit of her hydration left, looking away at anything but his body.

His tone is in a controlled volume, speaking discreetly, he repeats his intention earlier now that that’s settled, with more bluntness now... “Want me to do something about it?”

“I’m fine with the idea…” Mai answered with an inquisitive look. With her grip on his arms, he took it as a cue to dive in.

He didn't waste any time as Kenma leaned in, pressing his body close to hers. Quite intensely, it is seen with his fervor pressing how much he was containing it all day. A bit too quick on how he’s shifting his touches by her hair, face, and her sides. But she’s as roused, Mai went to grab his hand, guiding him to put it up her shirt, pulling his hair with her other free hand.

“Mai…” He delves deeper into nibbling her lips.

She could only emit a deep sigh and moan in response, Kenma’s hand was already up her shirt, lifting the fabric of her shirt up. Just a bit that her bra is showing. He leans closer, sweats peeking through the fabric, further verifying her heated arousal.

Kenma places kisses by the gaps of her chest, in between her breasts. She stifles a mewl. “Hnm..gah… you’re giving me a hard time not to be quiet.” She whispers to the best of her ability. He continues to lick her skin, nibbling at the bare skin. He draws her bra up to uncover her nipples, both quickly at peak due to the handling of his lips and fingers.

Even with his look alone, she can feel his erratic touches pressing against hers. He moves up eye-level again, pressing both her arms up, she gets conscious and nervous at both her sweaty hands. Kenma remains persistent, pressing her down. This definitely will cause her to pool down her panties further. 

He’s really going this far for a ‘quickie’ huh? Still keeping her arousal in mind, or is this one of his antics again? It’s painstakingly slow. Kenma knows this is too much risky and anxiety-inducing, yet… her wetness says otherwise.

Goddammit.

Her mind is hazy and clouded already– Mai no longer has any care for anything. She just wants to get this over with, this is beyond the waters that she expects to swim into, but the compulsive effect on her.

She wants more.

“J-just a bit, more…” Her moan spills as a restrained sigh. She practically begs as he’s touching anything, anything– but the gap between her legs. His hands lingered by the surface of her skirt. Mai hitches her breath as he skips over her core once again. “It’s been this morning that I wanted to touch myself, please? Kenma-kun…”

Man, he really did get her so aroused.

Kenma can’t even refuse especially since how she’s being too insistent and irresistible. He’s growing more turned on looking at how she’s desperate.

She’s not the type to want and be needy as she gets anxious, most definitely here where it’s a bit public. But to insist on making out in the open, the footsteps and shoe squeaks outside seem earshot close for their comfiness. It’s also thrilling.

Risky mode taken then.

Like a button that swiftly pressed on her skin, Mai lodging her lips passionately on his was the trigger that pushed them to go further. The hormones took over and blacked out a bit of Kenma’s control, grabbing hold of her waist a bit too lewdly on his torso. He humps his groin by hers, making her emit a sound unintentionally. 

“Uh-hmm…” he tries to quiet her down again with a kiss, reaching under her skirt but it didn’t add to helping her shush. Kenma pulls away with a slight grin at his discovery of her bare legs.

“Why are you not in your gym shorts, hmmm?”

She's only wearing her skirt.

Mai feels Kenma’s veiny hands creep up her skirt, he pulls it up as he is staring into her eyes with a fiery passion. She felt the cold air expose her bare skin.

Even with the shelves blocking them, it still feels… embarrassing.

“Stop teasing, Kenma…” He just touches her, a bit damp from the sweat.

He gets down, lowering himself to his knees to take in the view of her. She's flushed red, with his eyes piercing through her as he breathes over her crotch.

She feels herself pool more.

“I spilled water earlier when I was preparing bottles, just before we’re wrapping up. That’s why… hngh… I changed–”

Her breath becomes off, turning shaky with his roaming and pressing fingers against the hem of her panties. 

She gulps a breath.

“Always so clumsy of you, Mai,” he comments, now she’s wet for a whole entirely different reason. Both her legs gave up, her voice faltering after. “Haa…uh.”

She holds back a yelp, Kenma motions to stand her up again. “Stay still, Mai,” he instructs. But she almost buckles her legs as she had gone weak on his teasing.

Kenma licks her neck and bites her ear, making her let out a lewd mewl.

Almost like a purr by her ear, he whispers. “Keep quiet, Kitten.”

“H-how? You idio—”

Kenma suddenly touches her panties, sticky from her juices. She can no longer retort with how embarrassingly wet her pussy is already.

He cannot hold back any longer.

“Weren’t you also practically begging me to do this to you?” A thought also came into mind with Mai leaving traces and implications along the lines of ‘Kabedon’ for some time now, and her insistence to get one from him. He’s not one to disappoint, so okay, fine. Even if it’s not something on his alley. Kenma did the favor to make Mai’s dream come true.

He pins both of her hands harder, pressing them to the wall along with his face right up against her ear. Her mind burns with the idea.

Kenma continues by switching his grip on her hands with only one hand. He trails his finger by her swollen lips then lifting her chin using the other as he makes her look at her. “Answer me, Kitten.”

What the fuck is with the pet name?!

She swallows, having not been given a choice to escape. “Ye-yeah... but not in this setting.”

Not at this time at all that she imagines they’ll be doing this out and about. He’s practically falling apart as he is having a great time teasing her.

Both of her hands are locked, though loose enough to roam around his neck. She shudders at his hot breath near her sensitive ears. She doesn’t give in to freeing her hands, even as he’s pulling her closer into the kiss. She simply submits to Kenma. 

He adjusts her legs, carrying her till she’s got her legs wrapped up in his drenched torso.

This is really out of character for Kenma, but seeing how Mai is so hot and bothered he gives in along with his sigh. Even if he does want to go down on her.

“We better make this quick,” he says, Mai practically breaks character as she squeals in delight, to put it bluntly. “You’re the best, Kenma.” she hugs him, a bit tangent to her smiling as if they’re not about to do something intense.

She tightens her legs around him momentarily before he puts them away. He pulls her panties to the side and then decides to pull them down, leaving one side on her leg. 

She smiles to herself as she knows she would be well taken care of.

Her mind raced a thousand miles. As if honing to type paragraphs worth of worshiping his pretty long hands going in and out of her while his other is placed on her mouth to shut her pretty lips sealed.

Kenma quickly goes down, with her holding up her skirt as she tries to cover her whimpers.

He’s taking his good damn time eating her out, spreading his tongue by her clit and core back and forth. She holds back her arousal at how up to par he is slurping and sucking so loud.

Everything felt so soft and moist, it’s so fucking pleasing to the sensation. “Ahh, that’s-shit. Ha…” Her tone came off jittery. She wants to scream, but she needs to hold back every ounce of her patience, she's already trembling at this point.

Even the feeling of her breasts is phenomenal, how his free hand can bring her service, Kenma doesn't leave any neglect of any form. She cannot leave any praise for now as she’s opted to be quiet, even so, her mumbles are shaky to be coherent. Mai could only caress his skin, playing with his hair and gripping onto him as well to distract herself from moaning.

Mai fails miserably to be quiet so Kenma did the lovely favor with his pretty hands to cover her mouth and shut her up.

Using his lips as well as he pumps his finger into her, he thrusts in deeper along his fervent kiss, letting Mai taste herself in the kiss.

He moves his two digits all over in a different direction and speed, spilling more of her arousal tightening around him.

Just when Mai is about to cum, Kenma’s hand withdraws.

As he stopped his fingers, she winces. Mai turned to him with the most confused expression upon seeing Kenma's deadpan stare.

In the most serious tone, he says. “Your trial has expired.”

“Kozumeeee!” She almost whispered a hiss, Kenma covered her mouth, hand still drenched in her juices.

She is supposed to be mad, but Mai quickly catches on with another rustle nearby. They’re cut a bit short cause he also heard someone outside. When the sound subsided, the heightened sensation quickly shifted with Mai feeling his hardened length pushed into her in a cinch.

Kenma had prepared her wet core well as to why his movements easily let his dick go in and out of her. And the tightness in her is just unholy. 

“Fuck, shh-“ He also covered her mouth as sounds slip off uncontrollably. “Ah-mmhm.” 

The two especially Mai tried their best to muffle her moans.

The thrill of it all being outside— the possibility of getting caught—really did add factors for her part. Even the moist wall she grabbed hold of it, she loses all her senses as Kenma fucks her senseless to the wall. The sound of skin slapping and the feeling of him grabbing hold of both her waist to maneuver inside her. As much as she doesn’t want this to end, fuck- this is so risky.

Mai holds onto his wrist, tapping it a bit as a signal that she’s close— it’s not that much of a gap between them when Kenma let her go down to her knees to catch every ounce of his cum in her mouth as he ejaculates.

That was mentally exerting.

Another rustling outside became an indication to stop, but they laughed it off anyways, they quickly fixed their clothes. But Mai steals another kiss before breaking off. This is anything on her agenda for today. Kissing by the side of the gym, a supply closet even. Good thing she had her schedule free. It isn't such a bad idea after all…

Wait, oh right— wasn’t he supposed to say something else before they got wrapped up in the pleasure too much?

“What was it that you’re going to tell me?” she asks with burning cheeks. After a long-heated kiss, (the last kiss was a lie) for the last time as Mai insisted, lips still fresh on a string of saliva.

“Oh, it’s just I wanted to treat you along after training.” Kenma replies. He had been thinking the whole morning as to why he was also a bit preoccupied.

“We’ll also be there! Now, can you please hand me out some extra balls, Kozume? I didn't let yours turn blue— so get to it!” They heard a sudden thump by the door. Both of them flinched. Kenma covered her mouth, frantic as he looked back at her as wide-eyed as him. They hear Kuroo now adjacent to the wall as his voice is now louder. “How long are you going to keep yourselves in there?”

The two flushed a shade darker, their friend did the favor to pretend it was just Kenma in here and not blow their cover huh?

As for Kuroo, he’s heard at least more than enough that he should’ve left sooner.

※ my masterlist | #enjeiwrites ※

[ghoulangerlee]

Your dnd characters 👀

i will always be down to talk about my d&d boys!!!

I don't....actually have actual photos of them because I cannot draw, and so they live vividly in my mind. I Will Eventually commission someone to draw them though I think. ANYWAY.

Jamir - he's a half-dead (as in, that is his race, homebrewed myself) ranger who isn't wise enough to multiclass (his death took away some of his wisdom). He was human before his death--not the best sort of human, joined the army at a young age because that's all he could do, really. His parents well. He made a deal with someone not so nice and in exchange for their souls, he gained the ability to perform magic; simple things though, nothing too crazy. A few cantrips here and there.

Along the way, the faction of soldiers he's with are sent out to aid a dragonborn clan that's having issues of their own with infighting.

This is where he meets Elias, eventually, and they hit it off pretty much immediately. Jamir is of course, jaded all the hell, he's been fighting for half his life in an army of soldiers who just seem to be making things worse.

Elias gives him a way out, a chance at freedom, because Elias was also looking to somehow distance himself from all the fighting. They make a pact to leave together.

Until Elias's brother Arjhan catches wind of this and kills Jamir.

I can't go too much into Elias's backstory because I haven't delved much into it during the campaign and ofc both my players follow me here haha! But, Elias takes Jamir's body and finds a necromancer, makes a deal with her to bring Jamir back.

She readily agrees and makes sure he understands the consequences of this, of what could happen. The possibilities of Jamir coming back wrong.

Elias accepts these consequences readily.

And he does, of course, come back wrong. He's no longer human, smells of rot and decay and has to constantly drink potions to keep his skin from looking too pale. He has aches and pains despite being practically unkillable now. But, along with his new chance at life, he's also gained more access to magic.

Elias [Redacted] is a dragonborn paladin (he has a family name ofc but it's unknown for now, for a good reason)

is the son of a monarch, a clan leader, and he hates it. His clan is constantly at war with each other, with other dragonborn. with humans. you name it, they have a distrust of most other races, for good reason of course.

Long ago, a curse was placed on this clan, meaning that any children born to them would die. There is no known way to reverse this, until, one day, Elias's brother Arjhan was born.

Arjhan, he had not succumbed to the curse, and no one knows why, but this makes Arjhan a very popular target.

Elias had, for years, felt like he had to protect his brother from anyone. From the weird scientists and magic folk that their father had hired to test Arjhan to see if there was something about his blood that made him different, to the older kids that the two of them grew up around.

Arjhan was, in a way, viewed as the savior of the clan, much to the distaste of Elias.

The campaign actually begins with Elias and Jamir recruiting people to help them find Arjhan haha. At this point in time, there is still no cure to the curse and Arjhan is practically hated by the party (minus Elias and begrudgingly, Jamir--but also like wouldn't u also hate the person who killed you???)

ANYWAY. Elias and Jamir are in love, they are my mid-thirties baby boys who are just tired soldiers who want to rest their head somewhere but can't because they keep getting pulled into bullshit!

(also if you vaguely guessed that Elias's family story sounds eerily like the Krogan Genophage from Mass Effect then u would be correct. Elias is based on Wrex and Jamir is based on male Shepard but with a lil gay twist LMAO)

[prof-peach]

Hi,

I'm making a dnd campaign with a pokemon module of 5e and wanted to use a bit edited version of Dotaku Island, Prof. Peach and the crew cause I like your headcannons and work nice with my idea of the inner workings of the Pokemon world.

Is it okay to use them?

It's a campaign with friends and we're not making any profit from it, but still wanted to ask cause now more than ever artist consent is important (even when nothing about this is goong online so normally people woukdn't ask, but I also wanted to say I've been a huge fan of your work for a long time so two birds with one stone ig).

Either way, thanks for showing your work to us here on tumblr and hope this ask isn't too weird :)

Haha sure go for it, I’m chill with non-profit use, and if you ever do post junk let me know so I can snoop.

Fun notes for anyone who may be inclined to do this: THESE DO NOT NEED TO BE USED NOR FOLLOWED, PICK AND CHOOSE IF YOU PREFER.

North is off limits, no exceptions. Being caught there will get you removed from the island on the first ship back to your original region. You will struggle to return here if found in the north. Patrols line the fences to make sure no one goes in, night and day.

Players will take damage if they try to touch peach in any way. Treat her as a high level monk/Druid, who 1000% will throw hands with u and your Pokemon given a good reason. Cold and distant to approach, pawns players off to other staff at any given opportunity. A hermit who will humour you if you can appeal to her better nature, or great desire to fight things. You may lose but it’s the trying that counts.

Wisdom saves (DC28) with Val if you try to touch her. Not only will you gain force damage if you succeed (half damage) or fail (full damage) to lay hands on her, but you’ll see horrifying illusions for a minute relating to loved ones. Frightened condition until a long rest, compelling you not to approach further. I cannot stress this enough. Penalise players for trying to touch her, peach will bluntly warn you once, after that you’re on your own.

Grey regularly hands out handy snacks that may help heal or buff teams. He is warm and open, a good person to approach for hints and tips. Notably found in his labs or out running errands, he’s always kind and gentle, unless that is you threaten his home or his loved ones in a severe way. He is scarier than peach when he’s pushed too hard.

Plenty of staff roam around to offer aid or information, ranging from gardeners, cleaners, shop staff, and specialist keepers who maintain the visitors sections.

A groomers, cafe, food stands, daycare, small fairground with rides and games, a hotel, lighthouse, port, greenhouses and of course multiple lab and practical spaces exist, amongst other interesting buildings.

The resident ranger can offer assistance but she is known to stay quite busy, and so getting her attention may prove difficult if it’s a trivial issue.

Adoption zones are the only approved areas to catch Pokemon, and even then it’s a process that requires a test and paperwork, so everyone involved is able to provide adequate care to the mons in question, and so they know any pre existing conditions.

The islands purpose is recovery, so human needs come in second. The Pokemon will always come first, a fact some visitors may have issue with. The staff will not care and continue to do their job without concern for this.

Year round events make the island busy and people are welcomed to join in with whatever’s going on, be it chilli cooking contests, fairs, pageants, board rental for the sweet ocean waves, or watching a migration pass by. There’s always something to do!

This is all optional, just have fun with it, and I hope your players enjoy! If they ask about it, redirect them to the blog so they can dive on into the content.

[itsdappleagain]

hell yeah baby backstory time

it is time for the boston tea party caper!!

notes under the cut assss always

this episode is a bit of a mix-up for me. i like it but not my favorite all things considered. i'm still excited though- some of the moments in this episode are GOLD

HQ!!!

JHSGHSD "hey red hows san diego" "not great" "im not talking about you girl"

"i thought he lived in the cloud"

player looks so unamused pls

PLEASE "though i am hearing voices again" HOW WAS THAT RELEVANT. WERE U HEARING VOICES BEFORE

shadowsan is the best character here he's so funny

THE "THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT"

if they vowed to use their "superpowers" for good and ivy hotwired that car later on i guess maybe they used to steal cars and then decided to go straight maybe

ivy is so cool

OH hey also by the way their younger designs. SO GOOD carmen should have gotten a dorky in between phase we were robbbbed

small

not trey and his butt chin

i like how the screen glitches when its paused on trey. new headcanon this is a powerpoint presentation they threw together right then and there

you dare knock LYDIA

"i got this" zack says with the confidence of a man who just ate taco bell learning they won't see another restroom for eight more hours on the road trip

the talking through the race kills me every time 😭you can't hear each other

man this racetrack has an overhead drone keeping exact pace with the leading car

zack had a chase devineaux phase too once

carmen sandiego: oh no no we're rated for seven year olds!! the boston tea party caper: the mafia boss who lent us money threatened to put a hit out on us if we didn't commit a robbery for him on a suspicious front for a money laundering operation for the mob

the main reason i dislike this episode and need for speed is because zack doesnt ever get to learn. he was impulsive and it was bad in duke of vermeer, he was impulsive and it was bad in boston tea (okay fine, it shows us his younger self! fine with that) BUT THEN HE IS IMPULSIVE AND ITS BAD AGAIN NEXT TIME. FOR THE SAME REASONS whyyy wouldn't they take duke of vermeer as an opportunity to show his growth instead of making him out to be some angry no control childish idiot who sacrifices untold amounts for a little payback. and drags ivy down with him EVERY TIME

there's something so cool and sinister about ivy smiling, reassuring him, and then slowly pulling down the ski mask to hide any emotion. ivy and zack seem like they could have been prime targets for VILE recruitment- they could have gone down a much darker path

shadowsan was so invested

carmen's puberty crammed in those few months between the boat and the boston holy shit

player accidently saved zack and ivy's asses by turning off those cameras jgjsgkd

the second perspective of zack crashing into the wall kills me every time pls

here goes carmen with "its for your own safety" who taught her that phrase

i love how z and i immediately think that this person couldnt possibly be...i dont know. an employee or a manager or someone who works at the donut place. she's gotta be another thief. i mean they are right but like why

the giant ass green vault behind the fridge door 😭

WE'RE FOLLOWIN THAT LADY FOLLOWIN THOSE BREADCRUMBS TO THE DOUGH

wait didn't they arrive in a truck parked on the other side of the building

carmen ALSO had a chase devineaux phase

???? isnt that truck she just stole the one they got there in???

i mean carmen. girl. you kicked them out of their own robbery and then stole their car did you expect them not to follow you

carmen's devineaux side coming out <3 also completely shameless carmen cant drive comic plug

there are so many car accidents literally everyone could have died in for these two (this and need for speed) episodes. credits roll as the paramedics show up to carmen who just CRASHED HER CAR INTO A FUCKING HOLE HEAD FIRST

they had to make sure to show us that carmen was literally the worst driver possible to justify zack being there

i love zack immediately getting super friendly with the random woman who just stole their car, crashed it, and then stole it again with them inside

carmen: haha suave quip zack and ivy, the two most neurodivergent bitches on the planet: IN THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR

also carmen looks hilariously uncomfortable wedged behind this shipping crate. she's experiencing her first infodump

the loaning money joke is actually very funny

i kind of like how awkward carmen still is in some areas. she still talks like a VILE operative- she reports her every move to player, she simply responds with "understood." because thats the only way she knows how to relate

ANGY

ivy: oh no camera: zooms out to show the most outraged face the animators could draw

screenshots of all time

can you imagine your weirdgirl little 16 year old classmate dips and you see her a few months later and she's turned into this trenchcoat wearing 5'7" long haired adult woman whose only goal is to make your life a thousand times harder

not quite sure how this episode said "oh yeah. her classmates who knew her as a kid constantly call her by the wrong name and disrespect her despite constant corrections. and also her mother figure, seeing the new her, disowns her with the proclamation that this new person killed her child when she took this new name and betrayed her" and made it not transgender

le chevre was so cool about everything for like three minutes

HEY okay my favorite detail of the show is that when carmen runs in this episode she gets way out of breath because she isn't in shape yet i LOVE that detail

i have never heard more emotion from gina than when she went "YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME"

THROW HER OVERBOARD

el topo is also cool about things for like three minutes

zack and ivy bounce constantly between dumb orange cat energy and golden retriever who would jump into the ocean for a guy who petted them once energy

legend has it carmen still manages to throw el topo and le chevre in the water every time they are within a mile of it

i love le chevre backing up and running away from her because he's like oh shit. wasn't she like the best in our class?? is she going to kill me or something?? why did she leave VILE what the fuck im booking it nah

YEAH I NEED THE ROPE CARMEN IS SO MEAN IN THIS EPISODE ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY

IVY RESPONDING TO THE ASK FOR "MUSCLES" WAS A UNIVERSAL LESBIAN WIN FOR EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THE PLANET GOD WHAT AN ICONIC SCENE. MILADY. ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS KISS HER HAND GOD

its never brought up ever again that ivy's "shirt" is actually a blue undershirt and a black vest and that is criminal we needed a gay vest. something

the slomo kick is so hot

LE CHEVRE STEPPING ON HER HEAD

those plates must have hurt so fucking bad

okay well. you DO commit crimes

"the police have no idea they exist" okay. TELL THEM

SEE? VEST.

"got any room for us on your next job?" "you know what? sure! come along and help me take down this global criminal organization. uhhh what are your names again btw?"

yall i dont think eddie is going to want to see you for the money

A FLYING CAR he said yeah zack that was smart

i love how offended by literally everything the bostonians do shadowsan is

THEY MADE SHADOWSAN GET IN THE BACK BEHIND THE SEAT HAHAHAHHJHD

that hq wont be so wasted when you die of hypothermia! good luck carmen

alrighty, thats the beantown caper all done! only two more to catch up on before I'm on time again for my favorite episode this saturday >:)