#and i dont expect to get beyond the basics but still

[bbqhooligan]

feel free to call me arrogant anytime but also any other arrogant bitches finding the logical conclusions and reasonable rules youve reached for yourself are sometimes hard to follow due to. emotions and discontent or is it just me

[yoru-no-seiiki]

https://www.tumblr.com/yoru-no-seiiki/751614308271718400/hii-so-like-ive-been-starving-for-yandere-eren

def something w/ canon eren! but other than that you can could go as wild as u want! :p

god where do i start?? i’ll mostly write for early seasons eren since i refuse to watch the whole thing until i’m done with season one on my quotev book as a motivator but i’ll add some tidbits that i got from other fanfics. go check it (my book) out btw!! it’s called Walk With Me!! (currently on the next chapter which is around 10k words atm huhu)

as always he’s aged up to 18 during enlistment and massive spoilers for those that don’t know the lore/story yet.

MDNI. DDDNE!!

yandere! eren is a force of absolute willpower. he is obsessive, he is protective, and very much goddamn possessive. he needs you, he needs you to need him too if not moreso. he grew up in a very traditional household and expected to be the provider in the family. the least you could do is have him in your thoughts at all times.

if you want max yandere! potential with him, it’s best to have known him even before armin. be close family friends. maybe your parents worked with his dad since marley and were similarly banished (but not turned into mindless titans).

as children he’d always been protective of you. he’d always stick to you like glue. and because of future him’s influence over grisha and essentially your parents, you were arranged to even sleep in the same bed.

but this sort of backfired in the long run cause you saw him as this annoying brother figure that just wouldn’t stop bothering you.

and one day you just blurt out, tired of the suffocation you felt with your friend, with your parents that vehemently kept pushing you two together, of everything in your life that you couldn’t control.

“i wonder what it’s like beyond the walls.”

i feel like armin would still be the true trigger of eren’s obsession with the outside and freedom (after all, he doesn’t give a shit about yours so why and how would you influence him in that area?), but you probably pushed him in terms of the survey corps.

you were dumb at the time. i mean as a kid, who isn’t? so you announced to literally everyone you knew that you planned to join the military and eventually explore the outside world.

you didn’t really understand the concept of death and all but whatever that was, you still thought it would be better than eren’s basically isolating you from anything that moves.

you dont truly understand death until eren kills those intruders in mikasa’s house right in front of you.

you were supposed to help him, but only stood there frozen in fear.

thankfully mikasa awakened just in time, with eren shouting at her to save you.

speaking of mikasa, her true allegiance/ackerman blood thingy is still with eren in this fic but i headcannon that since his first command was to for her to fight for you she also has the same knee jerk reaction for whenever she perceives you’re being harmed.

in anycase, that day ™️ happens and you all start training.

it had already been obvious since you were teens but eren started looking at you from a different angle. the sexual kind.

your lack of contact with other people due to his influence had made you a bit of a pushover, as such he’d often coerce you into sex or other related acts.

i mean, you had to pity him! he never had the opportunity to explore and act on his urges. mans stayed a virgin til he enlisted and he’s pent up. you try to argue that it’s cause he was so hung up on revenge that he’s bitchless but that only leads to him questioning you if you’ve been seeing other people behind his back.

i mean you two were basically together, why would he see other people? don’t tell him that you’ve been … cheating on him? how could you!

so yeah he does the same thing to mikasa (the manipulation not the sex lol) and forces her to guard the two of you during your ‘trysts’ (which is just him, the inexperienced boy rutting into you and getting off while you stood/laid there uncomfortable silence)in addition to basically shutting down whatever feelings she might have brewing for him (poor mikasa dude)

but surprisingly eren is the most lax to you during this time period. despite the literal r*pe, he basically allowed you to roam around and do whatever for a change. frankly, it was mostly cause he had to catch up in terms of training, but also cause his FREEDOM ideal is the strongest during this phase.

anddd depending on your behavior you might get pimped out. only to those that he can trust though. god even jean got a taste of you because he lost a bet. he promptly beats up the man afterwards though.

if you’re more focused on training and acquiesce to his demands (hormones) however you’ll be enjoying the only three years of your life where eren’s presence wasn’t looming like dread of your death by a titan’s hands.

now i can’t vouch for how accurate i can portray later seasons eren but basically he’s the worst in yan levels at that point.

once he can fully utilize his powers there is literally no escape for you, not even his death, unless you have some sort of power that hides your ass. he’d already prepared for everything from your captivity to how your life will be like after his inevitable demise.

like i said before, he’d be the type to give you an illusion of freedom. he hates the idea of being caged and vice versa. so specifically speaking after his death and the end of the series, you’ll go from being stuck in a remote area to being free but with hundreds of armed guards watching your every move. hell maybe even the whole “town/village/city” you live in will all just be paid actors he had staged. he will never let you move on from him. whether you like it or not, you’re his in life, in death, as he is dying, and beyond that.

[itgomyway]

(you)r sp and you ♡

i have already made a post about how you should love yourself and your sp will love you almost as much (bc they actually are you!) but lets go into more detail

a lot of you guys, including me, wanted to get into a relationship. and with that, youve discovered the law of assumption. the basics start off with whatever you assume will be. but after months of arguing, harassment, and bullying on twitter, you’re probably confused and too scared to ask.

FUCK THAT. let me be the one to tell you that none of it matters. you very much can and WILL manifest your sp. others false opinions (false because theyre not real) mean nothing. this isnt a loass post though im talking about non dualism (which is not the same).

“but wait… i want my sp and non dualism isnt about getting so why would i-“ because your sp shouldnt be someone that brings you happiness. they should be someone who adds to your quality of life. why does that sound like loass vs non dualism? because it is.

people use the law of assumption to manifest desires for their physical world. theres nothing wrong with that! that is how i manifested my current relationship. however, when we speak about non dualism, it goes beyond trying to get anything. youre just being. and “getting” into a relationship can very much help or make your false sense of self feel better. you as consciousness know relationships themselves dont exist because it is you but your ego, the false sense of self doesnt know that. it wants to experience love as part of the human condition. but youre still not getting anything. lemme explain.

you were trying to “get” something that was never outside of you TO make you happy. that doesnt make sense when not only are they you, but they are apart of you. everything your awareness is on “reflects” how you feel about yourself because all there is is you.

lets go back to non dualism’s basics. everything is consciousness = you creation is brought on by your awareness = you. “but back when x happened-“ the past and the future do not exist. the only thing that exist is now. you cant “apply” this way of thinking to something that doesnt exist. that makes no sense. youre just going to confuse yourself. i am telling you RIGHT NOW the only truly real thing is YOU. that is all there is and will ever be. you can control your awareness through observations meaning youre in total control. read that again.

so when it comes to your sp, romantic or not, they are never not yours. they were never not you or not a part of you. every thought, feeling, affirmation, or word you wrote down, they have received. because its you. think about it. are you ever aware of anything youre unaware of? (no). because things only exist the moment youre aware of them!

and remember, if something can come to our awareness like a relationship and leave our awareness it is not real. but you, as consciousness are infinite and are always here and always consciousness. so you are real!

after discovering non dualism i have thought about the feelings my boyfriend has presented to me and how they currently match the feelings i have for myself. i have always loved myself and will always love myself. if i didnt, how could i expect my creation, which is a projection of my own self image, to have different feelings than me? your sp isnt a separate person. Your relationships will always show how you feel about yourself, romantic or platonic. they’re not real because they come and go through your awareness but your ego as the false self believes they are. and thats okay. thats its job. let it be and observe them as consciousness.

nothing can happen outside of your awareness because the moment you are aware/conscious of something, it exist instantly. so if your sp is treating you the way you dont want to be treated then reflect on your own feelings about yourself. this DOES NOT necessarily mean work on your self concept. ask yourself if “you” think youre worthy of what it is your ego desires. a lot of my blockage came from that. i had to fall in love with myself so my ego could comprehend how i could be loved. because its still me.

lets talk about “free will”.

“free will” doesn’t exist. lemme tell you why. the idea of free will is a person outside of you having a say in their own life. the basic principle of non dualism means theres only one being, consciousness (you). so tell me how can “another person” “outside” of you have a say in their “own lives” when none of that exist in the first place?

your sp having or not having free will shouldn’t effect how you feel about them unless you see them as a separate entity outside of you. they’re not an “object” you control theyre your creation and another form of consciousness so of course you have control over your creations you have control over EVERYTHING.

your sp feels the same way you feel about yourself. always. if you dont feel good about yourself then i do suggest working on your self concept. not to “get” anything but for YOURSELF! why not love yourself? why cart that responsibility off to your creation?

at the end of the day, itll just be you surrounded by your creations. you can pick and choose what they are specifically BUT THE ONLY REAL THING IS YOU

© itgomyway

[qqueenofhades]

coming from one of those "born in mid 2000s and is now suddenly an adult, making everyone feel old," people, do you have any resources to learn how to bullshit your way through getting a job with zero experience. cause i cant even put like "babysitting" or anything since covid prevented literally any teenage-typical jobs and i kinda dont know what to put on a resume beyond the university im currently attending and the high school i graduated from. and they still dont teach you this in school even though we've complained for years 😭

Okay my chilluns, listen up. This is how to bullshit your way into a basic 1-page resume even if you think you have absolutely dum-dum-diddlysquat to put on it. I completely feel you, as it's hard as hell to get a job even in the ordinary course of things, and especially when everything seems to want 10 years of experience and a bachelor's degree (and still pays like shit). But you gotta be persistent anyway. So here follows the step-by-step guide of How To Resume:

Open a new Word (or other word-processing software of your choice) document.

Pick a nice, professional-looking font (for the love of God, no Comic Sans). Times New Roman is fine; you don't have to overthink it. My own CV is currently in Perpetua, because it's a nice serif that looks crisp and a little different, but it is still clean and readable. Garamond or Cambria or other starter typefaces are fine too. Make sure it is the right size, usually around 12pt.

Put your full name at the top, centered, in BOLD CAPITALS. Increase the typeface size a few more points on this, to make it stand out and to make it take up space.

Underneath this, in regular-sized text, put your contact information: mailing address if you're comfortable sharing it, or if not, at least your phone number and email address. Use a school email if you have it, and not some weird/in-jokey personal email.

Start a new paragraph. In a slightly smaller font (italic if you want to make it look classy) write a few words about yourself. This should be something like I am a [Major] student at [University] looking for a part-time, entry-level position in [sales, retail, office, etc]. A [year] graduate of [High School] in [City, State], I am [prompt, reliable, detail-oriented, mature, friendly, etc] and a hard worker who is eager to gain experience and positively contribute to your business.

Start a new paragraph. Change the alignment from Center to Left. Create a new heading in bold underline labeled Education.

Under this, fill in your education (college first, followed by high school). Include the institution name, city, and state, the year you graduated or expect to graduate, any honors or awards, any extracurriculars, any grade-point averages if they're good (i.e. 3.0 and above), and your expected major in college.

Start a new paragraph. Create another heading: Experience.

This is where you put absolutely anything you can think of (in chronological order, most recent first and counting backward). Did you volunteer for something ever in your life? Put it down! (Title of work, dates, location, brief description of work). Did you do yard work for someone for a weekend? Put it down! Were you (or are you) part of a student club or organization in high school or university? Have you organized or taken part in any local initiatives in your community or neighborhood? Put it down! Basically, absolutely any kind of work, paid or unpaid, that might be relevant, regardless of how long it was or when it took place.

Under that, put the new heading/paragraph Skills and Interests.

Have you worked with Microsoft Word, Outlook, PowerPoint, Adobe, Photoshop? Put it down! People love that shit! Do you use social media and/or know how to work it better than the average grandma? Put 'er down! You get the idea. Think of anything in your daily life that can be put in Job Language and then see if you can do that. You are in university; do you have any projects, papers, or other things that you're proud of? Have you successfully managed a (gasp) group project? Do you make any kind of art? Are you a registered voter who has taken part in civic/political organizations, drives, or events? (If not, REGISTER TO VOTE! This is your angry grandmother speaking). All of that can go down. Even if it's not job experience per se, it's life experience and shows that you are someone who is engaged with the world and working to gain more.

Last paragraph and heading: References. Ask a few trusted adults who know you well and aren't related to you, such as a favorite high school teacher or a university faculty member/degree advisor, if they'd be willing to serve as referees. Put down their full names, titles/place of work, email addresses, and phone numbers.

Voila! You have a full page resume, probably even a little more if you're lucky. Proofread, make sure the spacing is even and the alignment is right, it doesn't look weird, the text is a consistent size, it's all the same color, there are no glaring typos or grammatical errors, etc. etc. Save it as a PDF.

Boom. Done. You are now a Job Hunting Maestro.

If you get an interview, you don't need to pretend that you have tons of experience or that you're something you're not, but you can present what you ARE in a positive light anyway. Don't apologize for yourself or play yourself down pre-emptively; be confident about yourself and what you can offer. You're a college kid looking for your first part-time job, COVID prevented you from a lot of normal teenage work experience, you're willing to work hard and learn new things. Here's your resume. What would be a good time to talk again.

Good luck! I believe in you.

[scribz-ag24]

your grovyle and dusknoir pieces matter so much to me because you capture the very essence of how much the green gecko bastard and his 7.11ft tall ass ghost-guy-that-was-sent-to-kill-him-but-whoops-something-happened matter to each other and just how they change the other while still being all awkward at certain times because they are in a situation that involves feelings in which they are both not used to (grovyles emotional tendencies where he pushed down things and thoughts that would otherwise doom the mission he was on and dusknoir just being completely foreign to them because he strives from a world where kindness and love is seen as a vulnerability so he just strayed far from things that will inevitably stab him in the back) and how they try to navigate it while having to bear the annoyances of the other but still viewing them in high regard nonetheless. i dont go here too much but i figured i may as well say it because i think you're cool and because you draw those two annoying little studs so well. have a good day scribz

Waaaa thank you!! I appreciate you stop by here to be so lovely! This made my entire week 🥹🥹 I always love to see you when you tag, youre so thorough in everh post you reblog, it's a delight to see ^^

They are sooo important to each other, I don't think we appreciate enough how pivotal they are to each other's development, especially grovyle to dusknoir's. Still cant believe the ghost's parting word and thought was a a most thankful message to his old enemy, thanking him for giving his life meaning, for helping him not regret having truly *lived*, not just survived. I wish Dusknoir got some more dialogue after coming back to life, but those being his last words, in addition to him constantly referencing grovyle's speech, just goes to show how far he's internalized grovyle's words.

And the way Grovyle genuinely sees and reaches towards Dusknoir's inner goodness, *while* he's actively being betrayed, is beyond words. Grovyle loves his friends deeply and by this point he's clearly gone far enough to consider Dusknoir close to that status. Maybe Dusknoir protecting him from a blow hit too close to home and changed the dynamic in his eyes from "temporal ally" to just "ally". It can't be a coincidence that Grovyle opens up and explains his motives and ideas after Dusknoir takes the attack for him.

You just can't get one without the other in my mind, it's how they contrast and mirror each other, it's how the game switches the tables and flips their alignment so seamlessly. The thief-captor dynamic turning on its head once you see their true colors. How dusknoir appears more mature and put together thanks to his charm and social skills, only for him to end up learning and looking up to Grovyle, whose more developed life philosophy and selfless objective end up convincing Dusknoie to fight for something beyond himself.

Special Episode 5 is one of rhe best pmd chapters/story out there, and it's the most basic premise of Grovyle and Dusknoir working together. The writers developed them so well in conjuction that they can't be separated in my head.

But even then their contrasting personalities makes them so fun to put them into situations, despite the ares wjere they might overlap. they're both great but they belong together. And celebi just adds even more flavour to the mix by adding someone so radically different from them in her view and approach to things (seeing as shes one of the onlu characters explicitly in love, maybe even in priorities outside world-ending cataclysms xD). Future trio in post-canon is simply too rich, even the crumbs from PSMD links them together and that's enough for me.

(And also just in general the vibes are so good, we make fun of dusknoie for the "looking nervous having your back exposed to me" but grovyle's "you cling to me beyond expectation" and "i surrender, do with me as you will". BESIDES ALREADY THINKING ABOUR DUSKNOIR WAY MOEE THAN ANYONE ELSE.

he goes up to partner during the sunrise and goes "thinking about dusknoir?" whilw it turns out partner is thinking of how much they love the beach and their friend 😭😭 and then grovyle says in his letter "hey watch out for dusknoir bc he WILL BE BACK I KNOW HIM" and hero and partner jusr go "oh yeah that guy. remember that guy??" like THEY DONT REMEMBER WHO TRIED TO KILL THEM A DAY AGO?? 😭😭 why they dgaf lmao)

So yeah. I care about them a normal amount xD.

[molluskmirage]

id like to discuss Badboyhalo and language learning on the qsmp for a moment. A lot of both creators and audience members are always so surprised when Bad says he’s learning then asks him to speak. They can also compare a lot that he’s not trying as hard as Foolish.

I feel language learning is never given the respect at how long it takes to learn. How I began learning was when I realized I had already learned a language once and to compare it to that. Bad is only a few months old in learning spanish. The first year of language learning is being able to make sense of when words and sentences end, your lucky to get a few words in and thats it. Foolish is a year old so he’s recognizing those patterns and is now starting to put words together but of course its through fumbling and a lot of effort, and its nothing to compare to someone who has been learning 5 years or greater. They are both babies. But they are both learning and trying.

there is alot of understandable animosity surrounding why English is the largest second language. An important note surrounding culture (separated from the charged negative) whatever is ‘popular’/forced/expected of you in a culture will be easier to achieve then going against that culture. Having to go outside your culture to learn another can alienate you from your own so most dont, and thats not that they dont care or wont come to care but for anyone across the globe reason is the motivation for learning. Friendship with Quackity motivated Foolish and Bad to learn. Them not knowing prior is a culture thing (again not talking about how its unfortunate on how it is just what is). Both are very happy to learn but again its not something you just say ‘Im gonna learn’ and then know instantly it takes way more time then is given. Foolish and Bad are babes in language learning, Foolish is just learning how to walk and Bad is rolling trying to learn to crawl. And thats perfect!

I can understand the hurt from other speaking cultures as their lack of knowledge comes as a reminder of some awful history, which can be difficult to separate but they are individuals, lovely individuals who are trying to learn beyond the culture they are a part of but it doesn’t happen fast the effort however is the same, they are trying happily.

every single bilingual and trilingual and more on the server is absolutely incredible and to be celebrated! Thats years and years of learning that Im always wowed by and is deserving of more praise then I feel is given. By celebrating those ahead in language learning we can also inadvertently recognize how difficult it is as an achievement and not put such unachievable expectations on those starting their journey. I imagine a lot of folks are starting their language journey because of the qsmp and Id like them not to be discouraged by where they’re at because it does take time but it is possible so long as they stay at it.

so yeah Bad can only say hola, ci, como estas, bein, no manches. And he wont be able to say much more until maybe 6 months more in the future by which point he’ll probably be able to say a handful of words and 2 years from now he’ll be putting together a few sentences. Bad wont be conversational until 4 years more (so long as he keeps at it) but if he does? Thats when all that effort really comes to fruition and is so exciting and you still feel like a dork because you cant talk philosophy or business but you can put together basic conversation and wow looking back to when you began its incredible, and learning accelerates so much faster beyond year 5 thats when its really exciting!

language learning is no small feat. keep at it and celebrate where you’re at because so long as you keep trying you will get there it just takes time :)

[luvforemikai]

Meant to be

synopsis ~ paul and y/n have been together for some time now. making commitments most people dont. but those commitments might end up being too dangerous in the end when y/n's life is on the line.

warnings ~ pregnancy, death, blood (i think thats it. lmk if there's more)

-----------------------------------------

Y/N and Paul Lahote were seen as twin flames. Inseparable. Destined to be together. You both knew this too and never doubted it.

2 years into the relationship y/n had just found out you were expecting. This was a special moment for you because you'd always talk about how you wanted kids with paul. It seemed a little rushed to have kids at the young ages you were so both of you decided to wait. Now was the time. One pregnancy test changed your lives forever.

About one month in, y/n and paul were beyond excited to they started talking about baby names right away. "How about.. Lily for girl or Liam for boy.." Paul said. He wanted something simple. Basic. Easy to pronounce so there would be no problems down the road. "Mm no, i was thinking something more different. Like.. Natalina for girl or Hasini for boy" Y/n wanted something special. Unique. Rare. Known between only them. You didnt care about pronunciation. There was no problem with correcting people if they ever got it wrong. After all this was your first child together. Y/n wanted it to be special. Paul may have had a few objections with the name y/n chose. Something cultural so their child can always remember where they come from. Paul wanted short and simple names like Diamond or Rose. Either way, you still had 8 months to firgure it out so there was no need to rush.

"Paul! Lets go, we're gonna be late!"......"I'm coming! Do you really think I'd miss my babies ultrasound and gender reveal?" You both pecked eachother on the lips and head out the door, excited to find out the gender of your baby... "It looks like you two are having.. a girl!! Congratulations!" Said the nurse. We both were beyond excited. Paul kissed y/n on the forehead.

9 months into the pregnancy, y/n and paul were overly excited. Sadly sam had to pull paul for some patrolling. You didnt mind much, sam was really generous towards the two of you the entire pregnancy. Emily coming over helping you with the basics that you couldnt get done because of your swollen pregnant belly. It was a nice gesture. But that day you had to get out of the house. You were craving food badly. You asked Emily to leave so you could get yourself something to eat. "You go easy on yourself y/n. That baby will be coming any day now. Rest." Emily said concerned. "I will Em. Thank you, now please go, you've taken really good care of me". You two hugged and Emily headed out the door. You had a tough time slipping your shoes on but you finally did it. Heading out the door you got bad contractions that stopped you in your tracks. You decided to sit this one out and wouldnt risk it.

Sitting down watching tv, you get a text. You look at it and its paul.

P - "I'm gonna be coming home late baby, there's some rogue vampires in the area that we have to keep an eye on. I'll be home soon, hopefully. Keep the doors locked, and call me if you need help. I'll come as fast as i can. I love you."

This scared you considering paul was killable. Especially when it comes to vampires. But you remained calm and rubbed your swollen belly, smiling.

A few hours pass and you're in extreme pain. Contractions are closing in. You didnt think much of it, thinking it was simple braxton hicks. Up until your water broke. You called paul a dozen times but he wouldnt pick up. Afriad for you and mostly your baby, you called an ambulance, not caring about vampires. While medics were getting you on a gurnee, you grabbed a folded piece of paper on your nightstand, putting it in your pocket.

Here you were at the hospital, giving birth to your baby girl. Paul no where in sight. You're alone and surrounded by nurses. The last push and you finally see your baby girl. She had brown eyes and a ton of hair. She was sat on your chest when suddenly you felt a wave of drowsiness. Your lips started to turn pale and your eyes were rolling. The nurses called a code blue and brought in defibrillators to wake your heart. But it was too late.. the nurse took the baby to the nursery.

Paul is in the woods and shifts back into a human with the rest of the pack. They make their way to Emily's. When they arrive emily is there and she looks defeated. "Hey Em. Weren't you supposed to be with Y/n today?" Paul asks. There's silence between everyone and Paul's heart drops. "Whats wrong." "Is it y/n?" "Did something happen?" The pack members bombard emily with questions. "I got a call. Y/n was rushed to the hospital, something was wrong". Paul freaks and pulls out his phone. Seeing the dozen missed calls from y/n..

Paul storms into the hospital asking nurses and doctors where you are. "Are you paul lahote?" A nurse asks and she gives him a sad look. "Y/n had her baby but... she died of complications im sorry". Paul looks purely shocked. "What?" He asks. "I can show you to her if you'd like" the nurse says. Guiding him to your room. You lay there lifeless and paul breaks down. The nurse attempts to leave. "Wait. Is the baby fine, where is she" paul asks with tears rolling down his cheeks. The nurse guides him to a separate room where she then brings the baby in. She hands paul your child while he smiles. She then pulls out a folded piece of paper. "Y/n had this in her pocket when she was picked up in the ambulance. She made it known that we had to give this to you.". She gives him the paper and quietly leaves.

"Dear paul, the love of my life. If you're reading this, then things didn't go as planned. I was undecided on making this but if something happened to me i didn't wanna leave you alone and confused. You already know this but my mom died during my birth and the pain my father felt was too much to bear so he took it out on me. I dont want you to become that pain and sorrow my father was. So this note is your closure. If i dont make it please protect our baby girl like you once did with me. I want her to have a stable and loving family. Something i did not have. I trust that you'll be there for her through everything. Birthdays, boyfriends, marriage. Everything that i wont see. Please live your life knowing i died loving you with everything in me. Every date, every hug. Every kiss, has meant more to me than anything. You've made my life a thousand times better. And for that i would never forget you nor die without you on my mind and in my heart. I always knew we were meant to be, even in death. Now please. Be happy and dont hold yourself back. And tell our daughter, RoseEmika Lahote that her mommy died loving the very best of her."

Paul wiped a tear from his wet cheeks and smiled. Holding our daughter, he told her "Meant to be".

-----------------------------------------

Maybe i cried during this, maybe i didnt. Im pretty proud of this. Considering its my first fanfic and all

[your-rutherfurr]

I don't know why, but youtube comment section is the most transphobic, homophobic and misogynistic place EVER.

For example, I was scrolling through yt shorts and came across a video addressing how Dylan Mulvany was very vocal about supporting other women in worse conditions and stuff like that. Basically that she was ignoring other matters. So went to the comment section, and as expected, hundreds of petty people commenting stuff like:

'He's a man'

'This man hates real women, how dare he speak for us'

'Stop saying SHE it's insulting... seriously!'

'Stop calling him a woman, that's so disrespectful'

'Why calling him a "woman" is beyond me. We have to stop feeding into their delusions.'

'Why y'all keep saying her? Dylan is a GUY... A GUY... y'all still part of the problem...'

'It's sicking and a mockery of us real women! Smh.'

'Calling someone a man is not disrespectful. Its just a case of being truthful. And there is a clear definition of woman - adult human female. Female - someone who's embryo developmental pathway went towards organising stuctures responsible for producing large gametes (ova) and giving birth. Men's self-declared "gender identity doesnt change their sex nor make them women. Dont push your beliefs on other people.'

And even other queer ppl themselves hating too...

'Can we please stop referring to Dylan as "her/she" please? There is no way HE is actually a real trans woman. I don't believe his woman-faced act for a second and it's insulting to real trans folks who have an actual intersex condition/mutilation. He saw a way to get easy fame and he took it.'

This what I commented.

179 REPLIES (dw the creator agrees w/ me though)

My response to the petty replies:

This behaviour is completely sicking. The video wasn't even ABOUT DYLAN BEING A WOMAN WHO'S TRANS!? it's just addressing some problematic behaviour... My friend(he's cis and bi) once asked me what's the point of pride, we already have 'all our rights' apparently. THIS is why, we are still very far from acceptance but we're fighting and making progress everyday.

Remember:

[estrophore]

Signalis Post (barely coherent thought vomit)

So I finished signalis on Monday and i think ive just about recovered enough for me to make a gush post about it on tumblr dot com, which i think i have to do cause i dont think any other game has really hit me as hard as this one. Spoilers obvs.

Being pre-transion, with that associated depression and closing off from oneself, ive always found it difficult to get out my feelings, even in private with just myself, and yet signalis has filled me throughout with its beautiful romantic melancholy and left me genuinely sobbing for the gay robot and her space girlfriend (almost worried that if id played this game on estrogen it might actually have just killed me on the spot). the only other times i can think of where i really cried were playing We Know The Devil near the beginning of the year, which really fkin hit the part of me that struggles to accept myself, and that time i rewatched the last episode of she-ra after reading the ‘Word War Etheria’ fanfic, which brings the characters so much more to life i fell for them all over again.

Signalis is a game that calls back to a lot of classic horror like resident evil and silent hill, which i havent got round to playing any of yet, but i think nostalgia works both ways sometimes and i’ll be playing them sooner now. sometimes horror gets stereotyped as all death and violence, some games fill themselves with skulls and corpses, and big ugly monsters and basically shout ‘DEATH!’ in your face repeatedly and it all just comes off as a bit garish and ridiculous and not actually very scary really. Signalis sits at the other end of that scale (with some of my other fav horror games like soma, cry of fear) where its environs are most usually just… quiet. Still. Muffled. Sad. just as often as theres tension or creeping fear because of this i find theres a strange kind of comfort too. Maybe its just that in most other genres of games theres so much of music, UI elements, pickups and interactibles with vibrant design. Here, theres room for your mind to just occupy the space. A soft fog. A dimly lit room. An empty train. Snow out a window. Liminal spaces that dont expect anything from you.

Signalis is a game thats just simply, unapologetically gay, and i dont think i would have been quite so invested in Elster and Ariane’s relationship if they were a straight couple. Its why representation is important, if art’s way for us to explore our emotions then its important to have media that we can relate to. Even Adler’s role isnt typically masculine. Our replika characters are manufactured, designed for certain roles in the base. Notes from the tough Stars and Storchs in the shooting range, the dollish Eules with the fairy lights and music player in the dorm. I couldnt help but think of groups of Eules sat around chatting, together, and im yearning for that feeling of togetherness, of understanding a friend that closely. I somehow missed the couple in the mineshaft (next playthough, ill find you v_v ). Despite the harshness of life in the Eusan nation (especially for the gestalts) the characters in it are defined by their feelings of belonging and hope. With the obvious parallels to east germany, i think of posters of cosmonauts and space travel from the time. Propaganda, sure but also made with the genuine belief in something greater. When the events of the game take this away, well, we find the last Kolibri, whod rather lose herself than lose her [ah. Im not sure theres a word here to properly describe the relationship they embody]. Its a game defined by loneliness.

We dont lie up at night scared by some corrupted android. We arent stuck with horror at the flesh everywhere, not on its own. We lie awake thinking about Elster and Ariane’s love for each other, the horror of their decline, the futility of trying to hold on forever. Its existential horror done perfectly. It shows an ending postponed and stretched far beyond its limits, and so squarely reminds you that you do, in fact, have to die one day. You’ll break down. One day you’ll say your last words to the people you love and you wont even know you have. Ariane’s final few diaries arrive with the full force of the narrative behind it, like a spear through my heart. For the record, I got the promise ending. Im still sad. It's a game about raging desperately against an unfair ending. I might think about this game for the rest of my life. I would sincerely say its an artistic masterpiece, by the sure definition of video games as art.

I like that the story leaves a lot open and abstract. I think it makes the emotional themes takes centre stage more. And i havent had nearly enough time to sift through it and come up with my own takes, we’ll need a few more playthroughs for that. And theres so much more to say that cant go in just these few paragraphs! Signalis is a game about two girls who had to run away from everything to find someone they belonged with. The universe may be cold and bleak, but you have to try, you might just find something beautiful, even if it doesnt last forever. I think if anything, we should all have the chance to find love and happiness like that, and we shouldnt have abandon a world that doesnt work for us to do it.

[ultimateplaylistmaker]

Ultimate Talent Development Plan - Chiaki Nanami Event Notes

Homosexual Behavior going on here Sonia

Chiaki basically takes one glance at Junko!Mukuro and goes "oh shit why do i hear boss music" and that's SO FUNNY

Huh a friendly rivalry with Kirigiri? I wasn't expecting that, I can ship it, glad to see the girls getting along

Wait what Hiyoko is attached to Hajime?! I was not expecting that!

Protags truly get everyone ever no one can resist his reserve course swag

Byakuya is so fucking done with this school it's hilarious

No matter the timeline Chiaki and Usami best siblings. Although the way the sprites are proportioned makes Usami seem so so tall and I think that's funny, what she so big for

Byakuya voice: Please get me away from the furries

of COURSE Chiaki likes the Monokubs, why am I not surprised.

Oh fuck yeah they got to play galaga

DAMMIT

I have... several questions that I do not want answered

Monokuma confirmed gamer moments

I love how just fucking casual everyone is about genocider in these modes and canon like yeah, here's genocider, she's killed like 24 people and may kill again, she just goes here casually, no we have not informed any authorities

Genocider is on wattpad and literally no one can convince me otherwise

THIS IS SO SAD

Hifumi is such an underrated character he's so funny look at him go

Chiaki my love

Hey what if I just started crying?

Dont worry Chiaki no one does

Komaeda voice: There will be no fucking heathens about hope on my watch

Chiaki said this to Junko and that's the real reason Junko killed her 100% definitely these are the facts the danganronpa company dont want you to know.

He wants a killing game sososososo badly, he wants a little despair, as a treat

Wait this duo gets a second event?!

Alright final results

UTDP Chiaki is very much the more sanded off Chiaki from DR3 as she lacks at lot of her original sass, however she's still incredibly earnest and heartwarming regardless.

She shows fondness for the Monokubs even if she seems kinda annoyed by Monokuma. Her and Kirigiri also get along rather well and have a bit of a friendly rivalry at times.

She's incredibly observant though, and was able to immediately detect that Mukuro even when hidden as Junko was someone with a lot of dangerous potential.

Beyond that though, she's mostly just the somewhat shy but kind student rep she was in the anime. A bit of a pity, hopefully we get to see a bit more personality in her DRS. Especially as she mostly interacted within her own class + Hajime.

Outside of Chiaki, we learn that Monokuma is in fact a Gamer like he claims at times, that Genocider does in fact spend a lot of time in fandom and likes dating sims. That everyone gets along with Chiaki beyond Monokuma and somewhat Togami. Also Tenko is still pretty clingy to Himiko much to Himiko's apathy.

[c0rpseductor]

have to explode about this somewhere or i simply will not make it

i am so fucking mad at my mom. i realize in isolation everything happening recently is totally innocuous and normal, it's just like. in context that it hurts.

i hate that she's sick with Probably Covid and asking me for a bunch of extra favors. i had to wash her a cup for water because she didn't feel good the other day, yesterday i had to do her laundry, today i had to cook for her. if this were like, between anybody else it would be fine. it's just like. agh

i feel so angry that she wants me to take care of her and i've ALWAYS taken care of her and i always feel like she just does not give a fuck about my most basic needs beyond "well, lestat's not dead!". it makes me feel ungrateful because i know she does nice stuff for me sometimes too, it's just like, it hurts when i always hide when i'm upset and barely ask her for anything even when i'm in such bad physical pain that i can't function. like most of the time if i'm too unwell to make something to eat i just go without food. i don't like asking her for things and i always feel like there's a limit to how often i can ask for her help, and that i have to be careful to mostly be a kind of pleasant background decoration that never imposes on her.

i always had to be her mom, ever since i was a kid. even when i was little she wasn't consistent and would berate me or get angry with me for just, like, being a kid and wanting or needing stuff. meanwhile i've always been like her little stuffed animal to talk to when she's sad. she always acted like she loves me so much and we're so close but mostly like i'm a possession of hers. i just like. i dont know. im so hung up on when she was drinking and high on coke and she said to me like, "oh id much rather just have a roommates relationship with you instead of being like mother and son." explains much about like, my Entire fucking childhood!

and then she takes credit for how i've turned out as if she raised me, like, i feel like not only did i raise myself but i'm raising her half the time trying to explain basic things about emotional regulation and hereditary mental issues and shit, being the first person she comes to for everything, always having to calm her down or support her when she's venting when i KNOW i can't rely on her in the same way or tell her any of the really challenging issues i have, like just. it's not fair. it's so tiring. materially i am very grateful that she is willing to let me stay with her and that she understands i'm disabled and can't work right now and tries to still help me live a comfortable life (and, cynically, i feel that she's kind of okay with me being in this kind of bad position as long as i don't leave), i know i'm lucky to have food and shelter and things like that.

i just like. man i don't know. i feel like i've been holding this back for days because i just fucking feel like it's so unfair that whenever mom feels bad i'm Favors Boy and i can be expected to do anything for her that she wants, but when i feel bad it's like, locking myself in the bathroom trying to cry quietly enough that she won't notice to clean off blood after cutting, or holing up in my room with a migraine and having to drag myself out of bed to use my Very Little Energy to make myself coffee or get water and then not being able to eat because im too tired to make myself anything substantial and god forbid i ask her, and then after i have my bad episode she's like Hey so i know you have a bad leg and stairs make it worse but i dont like taking out the trash so can that still be your job. it's not like the front steps are even THAT bad it's just like, ok, im so glad you thought about my limp. of course she wouldnt though it's literally her fault my leg is so fucked up and when i went to the hospital for it way back when and it didn't turn out to be a broken bone she was all like haha i told you so! and then laughed at me when i tripped and fell on my crutches coming home. she just does not give a fuck. but ohhhh lestat would you mind feeding me like a baby bird.....your poor old mother is so sick and feeble.....

[winterchimez]

describe your relationship with your moots using tbz ships!!

weeee i haven’t done a moot game in a while and i do miss it!! im gonna just tag the ones i talk to often so im sorry if you’re not on the list ><

@sungbeam (sangyeon & changmin)

im not saying this just cs ive assigned both of us to our biases, but yknow how sangkyu are always real sweet to each other thats us 🥺 but at the same time yall know how changmin is always hitting his hyung thats beam when she bites back 🤓 and the way how changmin always say “ah hyung!” when he gets annoyed thats beam to me when the *cough* horny thoughts are at its peak ✨ but i always imagine us as the sangkyu piggyback vid from the b-zone cs you’re my precious lil 妹妹 🥺💕

@juyeonszn (sangyeon & haknyeon)

remember when sunwoo said sanghak is the best ship in tbz, thats me and fawn periodt ✨ never in a million years would i have expected to get close to her (cs god i was admiring her works sm 🤧) but now we’re like long lost sisters 🥺 you’re the hakkie to my yeonnie, and i’ll protect you forever 🫂❤️

@from-izzy (jacob & kevin)

who would’ve thought i’d find my soulmate all the way in australia? its crazy how we went from just getting to know each other, and then finding out we have so much in common (i’d say almost 99.9999% of the things we do & enjoy) like its crazy how we’re not placed in the same continent 😤 we’re basically moonbae and nobody can tell me otherwise 💅 btw pack your bags bcs i might be able to visit you next year along with j either in mel or syd!!!

@daisyvisions (sangyeon & eric)

we all know how sangyeon basically cares for his lil baby eric 24/7 and thats daisy to me 🥺 but then we’re also super chaotic behind the scenes which also screams sangric to me LMAO trust me the day we meet irl the world would not be ready for it 😤🫂❤️

@aimeecarreros (sangyeon & hyunjae)

we just gotten close recently and omg i can’t believe i was able to click so quickly and well with elena like she’s so funny & chaotic and I LOVE IT 🤣 sangmil will forever be one of my fav ships and that’ll be me and you 🥰

@snowflakewhispers (sunwoo & eric)

my fellow SEA moot who lives so so close to where i am 🥹 its funny how we gradually got close after that sangyeon fic you dropped and the rest is history 😌 i think the way we relate to so many things is actually what made us become to close & chaotic (god i love our dms i love the mess and we singing gimme gimme more) we’re sunric fs 😘❤️

@flwoie @hanniluvi (sangyeon & jacob)

you two are literally the sweetest lil cuties ever 🥺 from supporting my work since the beginning of my journey like im floored im beyond grateful for you two always 🫂💕

@heemingyu (chanhee & changmin)

we literally have an ongoing series tgt + that way we just clicked from the start is insane. we’re newkyu. i said what i said. sana is WILD which makes me give her the side eye 24/7 but then its what made us close, and the way how newkyu are always tgt thats also me & sana 🤞🏻

@cloverdaisies (hyunjae & haknyeon)

omg where do i even begin!! we go wayyyy back during summer when i was still in EU and when i found out we live literally next to each other i was just????? im sad i didn’t get to know you earlier cs i would’ve come visit you when i was there!! but i promise i will do everything i can to come back UK one day fs (i said what i said so dont come for me again vajfbrnrhrjd) you’re literally hyunjae. sweet but also likes to tease & like seeing me lose my shit 🙄 but i love hyunjae so that also means i love you so i’ll let it pass 💚

@justalildumpling (jacob & sunwoo)

ahahahaha the chaotic parent and child duo is here 🤪 j is literally the sweetest to me when we first met, only later down the line when we got closer that i found out abt her chaotic ass (but i love it so keep it coming LMAO) my little dongsaeng ilysm, i’ll always be here whenever you need me (gurl for you i’ll stay on call with you for 24 hours again 😤😤😤) counting down the days i come visit you & izzy!! 💪

@zzoguri (sunwoo & changmin)

i was debating to put jacob but then i think sunkyu works slightly better for us? pls moni is so sweet but also REALLY FUNNY AND CHAOTIC shjendnrnd i love their reactions i love going through your stories all the time cs they make me laugh 😭 and you have such a good taste in music just like changmin 🥺 you can interchange between these two and you always have a special place in my heart my moni 💜

@itsbeeble (younghoon & hyunjae)

yknow how in tv shows they put this gold light or smth with the audio for the main charas/good looking ppl lmao bsjfbekrm thats bbangmil and that would be us so yall better make way for us 😤😤😤 we’re as chaotic as the two, esp with how reese is always getting me to sleep early BUT THEN I DONT 🤓 and we’re both swifties ugh love a fellow good woman who listens to good songs 💕💕💕

@kimsohn (younghoon & eric)

its only ever since coming back to asia that i got to spend more time talking to you in the gc!! (timezone sucks in EU 😭) and god you are so funny and chaotic too lmao bandndm you’re just like eric, but then yknow how younghoon is always the first one to support and care for the maknae thats me to you 🥺❤️

honorary mentions:

@daisyvisions @aimeecarreros (the lee bros)

make way for the 3 grand sangmil girlies ✨💅 our everyday dms are always loud, chaotic, fun, and a sprinkle of msg aka sexiness 🥰✨ the day the 3 of us meet it would make history in deobiland istg watch us get a ring on our finger by the lee bros themselves bcs delulu is free and it’s the solulu 😚

@cloverdaisies @heemingyu (the kyeopmuda line)

the OG trio ✨ it went from me being moots with clo, and then sana being clo’s biggest fan, made a gc and the rest is history 😌 the 3 of us could talk for hours and often times way past our bed times (esp clo im looking at you pls fix it) just like how close kyeopmuda line is, thats also the 3 of us, we’ve always got each other’s back, and always ready to text and vc anytime 🫂 looking forward to the holidays when the 3 of us are free and we’ll vc for hours fs 😤❤️

[jabberwockprince]

I'm cooking r1999 OC stuff so i need to ramble about it hehehoho rubs my evil hands together

i had to rewrite this because i lost it but i also sound like a madman so i dont expect absolutely anyone to understand my train of thought <3

I OC-fied Tartaglia a few days ago but I just got around to thinking about his whole character and lore, and it hit me that I can just put his ass in Apeiron <3 I'd like to have an OC in each faction but we'll see how much my attention span lasts

BUT! THIS MF.

I want him to be from Apeiron specifically because the idea of an integer or equally valid number within the island acting like the most fucking feral irrational number is so funny to me. a complete betrayal of the scriptures but that somehow ends up making sense, so you cannot be mad because He Still Operates Within What Was Expected. a guy whose entire existence is just ANNOYING AND IRRITATING AND INSUFFERABLE. perhaps he's a fraction, I'm not sure yet. I'm not looking forward to researching numbers to find one that suits him thematically and shit

most likely considered a genius in an unconventional way, not similar at all to 37. more like still following the theme of opposing/overstepping while working within the guidelines. so maybe something to contrast her

37's talent for numbers is explained as an innate ability to see the numbers in everyone and see their true essence, which causes her to be isolated from the physical world and the people of her own community because she does not experience nor care about reality the same way others do. its impossible to try and understand her, because her insight is so vastly unique, but she can still provide solid proof to support her discoveries with no problem at all, as seen when she confirmed Vertin's number is 0. she cares about the scriptures and numbers, and yet she likes taking the chance to discover one's number away from others just because she can be the first one to do it

so im thinking. Aianteia could be the opposite. he cannot see the numbers in people like her, but their true Forms. the perfect geometrical shapes that can only exist in the abstract world of Forms, impossible to achieve beyond a close approximation. and because he essentially sees the "beauty" in people, he cares for the community, he is friendly and often befriends others rather easily. but he can't fucking explain why he sees the world Like That. nor provide any proof as to why someone is This Form or That Form. which renders him totally useless within Apeiron, because of the importance of proof. he cares about people figuring out their number, to discover themselves and whatnot--he cares so much that he will gladly show you which Form you're meant to be, the way the universe intended it

and THIS is when the themes of battle and war and carnage come into play. when it comes to irrational numbers or the impure, Aianteia connects their "floating points" and knows exactly what to do to purify them. to make their bodies as pure as their Forms. im saying that he basically sees fancy ass geometrical shapes and lines that let him know where to start cutting and slashing and killing. this is something he does out of genuine love and care, so that those who cant even DREAM of studying the scripture can get a fair chance at discovering their number, as irrational as it may be. all they have to do is survive

im thinking. that his scars are self-inflicted because he attempted to do the exact same thing to himself. and he survived. and he figured out his number this way. he cannot explain why or how or give proof as to why he knows THIS is his number (in a way, similar to how 37 knew from birth that THIS was her number) but i like to think that 77 took a good look at him and went "hes right." and everyone had to just. accept that this guy, most likely a very young teenager, found out his number THROUGH THE "WRONG" WAY

WHICH. IN TURN. FALLS WITHIN WHAT 37 INSISTS DURING CHAPTER 05--numbers are the eternal truth because no matter when or where or how you prove something, you and the person at the other side of the planet will come up with the same result. Aianteia has an entirely different approach that led to the same conclusion as 77's mother. once again, the issue is that this is something that cannot be corrected nor given proof. relating to the gnosis of an arcanist, and how arcanum is not a viable method of study because it cannot be verified by a third party. my brain is making connections at the speed of SOUND. anyway. the issue is that he's RIGHT. which would make him a fraction, potentially, since 37 describes them like this

Integers are the living examples of virtues. Fractions can be understood through specific means. Irrational numbers are the free spirits, while imaginary numbers are the existence which doesn’t belong to this dimension of the number axis

so he can be understood through specific means, but no one can figure out WHICH means exactly

I do think that he starts out genuinely wanting to help people achieve their purest self, and somewhere down in the middle of the road he started to have a little too much fun with the idea of being the hand that brings Forms to the world of Matters. and then as he spends more and more time outside of Apeiron, it becomes a dog eat dog mentality, whoever survives gets to be their truest, purest Form -> the strongest get to impose their ideals onto the rest. Aianteia SAYS that he's doing this to uphold the scriptures and defend them in the outside world, and this is partially true as a childish leftover desire from his initial journey. but really, its all about getting the shit beaten out of him and beating the shit out of others now to see who earns the right to live

if the Storm has been going on for 7 years, it started when he was 19, so im thinking he was around 14-15 when he left Apeiron during one of those expeditions. and they let him go specifically because pretty much everyone wanted him gone

from what I remember, both Manus and the Foundation existed BEFORE the Storm? so im willing to say that Aianteia joined Manus before the first Storm ever. but i also dont want to think too hard on time logistics because we dont have the full timeline of the game yet

[vyvesvi]

pd 101 japan picks & commentary (3)

preshow & ep 1

ep 2 - ep 5

ep 6 general commentary

this ep was kind of lowkey. not really sure how i feel about the team selection being entirely determined by rank - pretty sad that karen & momoka, amongst others, probably wont get to show their actual main abilities

the teams that performed were hero, shine a light, wa da da, & run run. ranking: run run > hero ≥ wa da da > shine a light. i don't really like the song choices (songs that already have choreo for a dance round, only one non-idol dance song, plus the singers/producers for that song helped arrange all of the vocal performances? makes me wonder if the final group will be getting a LAS song) but at least theyre all in japanese this time (for the vocal & rap groups at least)

run run: good performance but i have a few gripes. 1 - why was it worth more points? they said that the choreo was harder but the whole mission was for the girls to create choreo so... i dont actually expect that the trainees on these shows are doing all the arranging and writing and choreography themselves (much less on pd japan where virtually no one has a trainee background) but the whole set up of the mission kind of says the quiet part loud, you know? 2 - the distribution was a complete mess. loved joa as the center but the rest were basically backup dancers...for a choreo that theyre ostensibly creating themselves the difference in screentime between each person just doesnt make sense. and that was reflected in all of the ranks apart from yuuki & yurara i think. storyline: i found the koto/yuki storyline pretty meh. joa did actually do better than both of them so...? still, in another series this wouldve had a massive conflict edit & im glad pdj doesn't really do that. sad mitsuki & serina didn't get much screentime, i think mitsuki should've gone for antifragile actually, she needed to be on a team where the styling would've worked with her & allowed her to show more of a charming side on stage (friend that i watched LOVED her in cheer up, made me pause to figure out who the "gorgeous regina george lookalike" was.)

hero: ando yui is my daughter but i have to admit that she has a tendency towards shouting some notes. still, i feel like she has a ton of potential and im glad that she got to redeem herself after the audition. tsuzumi is basically in and she 100% knows it, so it's interesting to see how she's dealing with it. more than anyone else in the top it seems to really be impacting her, but she also seems to have a lot of close friends on the show who understand & are supporting her. to be honest, i usually don't like contestants like mayu but...idk. i see a lot in her but im not sure why. it seems like voters are starting to get serious so her rank has dropped a lot but i i'll miss her when she's eliminated. i hope there's some opportunity for her beyond the show.

wa da da: kind of sick that no one chose wa da da 😭 the stage was pretty messy in my opinion but mana did great, she's such a performer. personally ranka isnt one of my picks but i like her intensity a lot & she definitely deserved her rank. i don't think this is her moment exactly but i could see her being recruited somewhere after this. she would suit a kind of dramatic vibe. karen is interesting to me because while she doesn't dance well i found that she really fit the stage. i also love her attitude. there's no way she won't rise but im not sure that itll be enough. last and least,

shine a light: im a big jo1 fan but i knew this wasn't gonna go great from the outset. the energy of the original song is part of what makes it so good so the fact that they removed that.....i also think it's kind of notable that hina said that she didn't want it to be a ballad and was kind of steamrolled........anyways. we saw the performance. i've always said that i wanted hazuki to get more screentime & establish herself and this was her chance but...rip. from the second her voice cracked it was over for the whole team. every single person messed up except for hina. i know that this wasn't a super strong vocal group but it's so sad that they did the worse they've ever done on stage. i expect hina's rank to continue to rise, and hazuki in particular will fall (not because she was the worse but because she has the smallest fanbase & isnt insulated from mistakes like some of the top contestants). curious about what will happen with chiharu because honestly...no one really expected her to sing super well and she was gorgeous so. we'll see

member commentary

change is always possible but this is my stable top 4. rino & ran's teams weren't in this episode but it's a very good sign that rino still got screentime singing well & being a good leader. not thrilled that her rank dropped (14 → 17) and there are a lot of strong contenders in the early teens right now. in truth, i think some of them would be a much better fit for a spin off project (which have much higher success rates than the ones from korean produce) & rino would make more sense in top 11 but that's neither here nor there.

mana, as i said earlier did sooooo well in wadada, although im curious as to what she would've picked had she been given a real choice. im hoping her rank will rise - she didn't get a push in this ep but she was significantly more visible than a lot of her teammates so fingers crossed.

serina is just a good [potential] idol. i was surprised that she went for dance since her vocals are what i noticed first but she pulled off run run well. i wouldve picked shine a light or even antifragile for her though. unfortunately she got very little screentime & storyline but i'm sure run run will win so maybe that 20k will help maintain her spot.

standouts in this ep

not gonna break it down again but yeah. love the girlies love the vibes

other thoughts

call me crazy but im so so sure that these three will be recruited by lapone for a gg after the show. with the top 11 having skewing less cute im hoping that this becomes a reality bc these three fit eachother more than they fit momona/nano/ran/rin/etc. oda aruha (and maybe moro anon) would be here too but alas.

people i'd like to have seen in this ep

rin is riding a wave right now and she needs momentum to stay top 11. looking at the ranks now, kokona dropped 10 places (19 → 29) 🙃 rinon & ayano are fine, but i wanted to see them keep momentum as well. i like akiyama ema for some reason but to survive she desperately needs screentime and a good performance. I'm even more worried about tsukushi - her dropping from 18th to 31st after doing incredibly well is kind of insane. what i've said about tsukushi needing a storyline in the past still stands. i can already tell that her part in bijin will be great but with rinon & keiko im not sure what her screentime potential is.

ep 6 voting list

no surprises here, although im not sure what the voting has been reduced to? if it's only 5 i'd have to go with mana, rino, rin, serina, and then alternate kokona, yui, and mayu. i know that the "this person is safe so i wont vote for them" logic is flawed but i can't help it. good thing intl fans cant vote so this isn't a real concern! 🤪 /s

ep 6 semi-realistic top 11

only change is that i replaced kokona with joa. i have to say, im not thrilled about how many "givens" there are this season. it's not that i dislike them but it makes for a kind of boring top 11, at least until we get to 1 & 2 pick voting. rin was a nice surprise but i think the production has been pretty mask off about their picks. interestingly, i think it might bite them in the butt that momona & kokoro in particular don't actually get that much screentime. for people who are seeing them through the show for the first time (and also dont keep up with twitter discourse) probably feel that their ranks came out of nowhere. ran has gotten good screentime but she's definitely also buoyed by her original fanbase. miu, joa, & tsuzumi have good screentime & storylines so when joa goes up to top 11 i won't be surprised. rin had a good storyline so she makes sense. ayane doesn't get very much screentime but her voice does the brunt of the work. nano is a (capable) visual pick but she doesn't have a storyline. suzu has had a fanbase since the theme song but i expect her to fall a little honestly. we'll see. keiko is new to the top 11 this ep, i hope they reveal the actual ranks this time because that will influence my thoughts. keiko has great screentime and a litle bit of storyline so her rising makes sense. kokona is interesting to me because her rank is so stable based on not very much honestly. i don't dislike her but her lack of expressiveness on stage is probably something they'll try to build a storyline out of later.

i have a lot of confidence that rino will debut elsewhere after this but in the interest of creating a group i would actually like...

[twst-hanaya]

TWST Book 7 Chapter 5 Thoughts:

Spoilers under the cut, also I'm basically typing this out as I play so it's like a liveblog sort of.

Malenora is That Bitch

Sorry, ahem. Malenora is a QUEEN (technically a Princess but my point stands)

Absolutely loving her design aaaaahhhh! The horns! The headpiece! The DRIP!

Sorry, I'll try to stop simping.

You can see such an intense resemblance between Malenora and Malleus obviously in appearance but also personality.

They both breathe confidence and self assurance because they're so powerful, both are fairly temperamental, though Malenora seems to be more brash and lashes out with tantrums while Malleus - perhaps due to his father - tends to sulk more than he does explode with anger, though the lightning and bad weather happens with both of them.

Moving on, her relationship with Lilia is interesting. You definitely get the sense that he may have harbored romantic feelings for her when they were younger but at this point truly loves her as something even beyond that, and different.

I swear I nearly started crying in public when they were squabbling over Lilia taking the Egg and leaving Malenora to fight the Knight of Dawn and Lilia was like I can't love this baby for you, I've never loved anybody, I still need you, this baby needs you.

And Malenora fucking hits him with You love me. You love Levan - there simply isn't any way for you not to love our child when you love us so much.

Oh shit I'm crying just typing that.

Anyway

And you know it really hit me in that moment that Lilia's earlier comments about not liking weak things like children - it isn't true, not even then. To love something powerless and weak and fragile means risking your own heart. Just as easily as they could lose their life, you could break your own heart. Lilia has always been afraid.

And when he lost Malenora - someone who he loved, who was the strongest person he knew - died anyway, and left her Love in and Egg, he had to accept that being hurt wasn't something anyone could live without risking.

Moving on, the Knight of Dawn is still a mystery to me, but he doesn't actually seem evil. Apparently he's an orphan who owes a life debt to the previous King, and is in a relationship with the princess Reia. And of course he helped the entourage escape with the Egg - an act I think ultimately saved Silver's life and Lilia's own humanity, among the other obvious things.

Henrik also needs to fucking die what a goddamn bastard KILL HIM MALENORA (I know she doesn't make it but I think she should still get to kill this dude AT LEAST)

Silver losing his shit is kind of understandable after all this, I get it. It hurts me to see him blame himself for literally just being born though he did nothing wrong he was an ACTUAL BABY PLEASE THINK RATIONALLY. Literally if anyone else were out in that situation you know this doofus would be like yeah literally none of this was your fault of course you deserve to live and be happy. But shits not that easy I get it.

Also I actually laughed a little during that scene where Lilia finds baby Silver and he's like STOP CRYING BITCH YOU DONT HAVE THE RIGHT

Like dude I get you're mad at yourself and all but your still yelling at a literal baby please stop 😭

Oh bonus points, I ALSO cried when I found out Lilia's Unique Magic is literally called Farcry Cradle. Like. This man who insisted for literal centuries that he wasn't capable of warmth or love and that he didn't like weak things or children and his UM called FARCRY CRADLE.

全ては過ぎ去る日のようにどこへ向かうもの瞬きの間よ、遠くの揺りかごまで

Also Silver was BLONDE???

Also Malleus being like Aw Shit, What Do I Do With This Thing with baby Silver was great. Love that.

Also totally forgot to just say I'm a bit shook that Silver was actually frozen in time for 100+ years and not a descendent. Was genuinely not expecting that.

Also got me FUCKED UP with the acorn bracelet being a gift from child!Silver like how much more emotional damage am I going to have to endure exactly

NOOO BABY OF COURSE LILIA LOVES YOU

Sidenote child Sebek and Silver are adorable

Cackling at child Sebek having Zero Chill.

He'll yeah, Sebek Unique Magic! "Living Bolt" is very appropriate for him! Pimp slap that boy (Silver) awake!

Silver: Malleus and Lilia probably hate me.

Me, out loud: shut the fuck up. Stop letting your lizard brain control you!

Sebek: *proceeds to immediately deck him*

Good job Sebek!

Sebek is so baby honestly.

Sebek is so right, what a king. I really love how Sebek shows Silver that he's loved. Look at how strong you are - who gave you that strength (love?)

Also I'm always a sucker for that trope when a character who doesn't have any self confidence ends up accusing the people who love them of lying, and really their own self-denegration ends up hurting the very people they care about. How hurtful and insulting it is to have your own moral character and your heartfelt affection for a person be tossed aside in favor of propping up someone's self hatred.

When Silver was like they cant love me and Sebek really said don't you fucking disrespect me or Lilia-Sama like that again. Yeah.

Thankfully Silver regains some clarity and they move along shounen-style, very good.

Oh man the battles for this chapter were actually kind of a pain.

Also tbh I don't know how to feel about them using a recolored version if Silver's 2D rig for the Knight of Dawn. It looks off, personally.

Also in a separate post I made, I said Malleus was like an uncle in their quartet but this whole Book has made it fairly clear that he's more of an older brother. With how long it takes for fae to mature, especially long-lived ones like Dragons, it's clear that Malleus is more like a 16 year old whose parents suddenly busted out a new kid.

I'm tired Goodnight

[ludinusdaleth]

hey, i'm new to cr fandom and wasn't there when c2 was airing, may i ask out of curiosity what was the fandom's problem with its ending?

i want to start by saying this post is meant as a personal memory and not an incitement of any discourse. i do not want a lot of asks or replies or anything about this if i can help it. i would also politely ask that no one reblog this as i really just. dont want attention about this when ive discussed it to death on twitter. i also apologize for not having screenshots but i truly cannot bring myself to wade through that again. it was bad enough i still have nightmares about it.

basically, about 3 eps before c2's end, matt clarified on twitter the campaign was coming to a close, and that. did not go well. you see, folk (myself included, though i wasnt part of the following clown show) were very sure c2 would continue a while. it felt unfinished as the empire/trent had to be taken down, and for some of us ludinus was clearly the big bad, etc. so this was incredibly jarring to a lot of folk. and with that came anger. a lot of critique came down to fear of things being rushed, a lack of closure, claims of extreme neoliberialism due to not taking down the empire (i could write an essay on and cite multiple leftist activists who have stated c2 is truthful to the activist tale, not neoliberalism, and also how c3 deconstructs beau & caleb's actions, but everyone is allowed to have their own opinion on it), and that if shadowgast did not fuck in this short timespan the fans were going to kill liam & matt. and threats of killing were the least of what ensued. im just gonna put a tw here for discussion of extreme harrassment and even threat of necrophilia/rape:

people were. atrocious. beyond atrocious. know why 4sd/a lot of q&a events of theirs for a while had no fan questions? partially bc fans were frankly terrible at asking non-ship questions on talks machina, but mainly because folk FILLED their inboxes with insults (and a twitter account was made of screenshots bragging about it) that only the crew would get to filter out, not the cast. know why dani was terrified to show her face on 4sd for a bit? c2 fans would not let up on how it was her cishet fault fjorjester happened. people thought the solution to alleged neoliberalism was to therefore @ travis saying they would defile his veteran fathers corpse. if there was any solid discussion critiquing c2 happening, it was so drowned that actors who had nothing to do with the show told cr fans to stay away if that was how they treated their favorite creators wanting a break. it really didnt help that a certain disgraced talks machina host was firing potshots on twitter when the cast seemed to be just trying to take it all in, so more discourse was kicked up from him. in general besides all of that, you had the average death & even a few rape threats you would expect from the pits of fan entitlement. the way they were hardly the most notable of the insults hurled their way still rattles the mind. and thats just what i saw. my friends have claimed to have seen worse, but if we can help it we dont discuss it in detail, it's that bad. like i said, any idea of an actual conversation about c2 and how someone felt about it from an analysis perspective was not even a drop in the bucket; there was no actual discourse but rather spitting hatred pouring over that mistook personal grievances for excuses to mistreat quite literally anyone around them who didnt agree that threatening to defile someone was funny bittersweet revenge.

the thing is, after the c2 finale happened? i mean, a lot of folk didnt originally like it (i think it's generally pretty well liked now, and i enjoy it), but it wrapped up a lot of issues pretty well. all that terror & terrorizing over a fictional story was really for nothing. and even if it had ended undebateably badly did anything warrant that fallout?

there are of course a few other factors that seperate cast from fandom now. laura also got innumerable threats from tlou fans for playing some antagonist character, twitter is a dysfunctional shithole, and it's just rational the more popular you get to not be buddy-buddy with fans. but that was. a Time, for sure. c3 is a decent campaign but im far from the first person to note that many of its traits are set in trying to find vox machina's fixed story beats so no story beat is left "unturned" and being as un-m9-like as possible, even when they love the m9. a lot of the worst m9 fans now who harrass other campaign enjoyers and lament c2 being "an unloved middle child" are folk who never left the bitterness they held in that time. for as much discourse as c3 has kicked up i really dont think any of it compares to the sheer scale of what happened late may 2021, and im hoping with all my heart it never does reach that level ever again (i think c3 has a slightly smaller (at least online) fanbase compared to c2, and isnt marked by a pandemic hiatus, so hopefully that means something).

i hope i answered your question. i really hate remembering this time but sometimes i think it should be remembered so folk know what the cost of extreme parasociality is. the distance the cast has from fans now is not only earned but maybe should have always been there, so things never evolved to that extremity. but now it's done and gone. i envy people who watch cr on their own merits and didn't get sucked into twitter at the time; it has been fascinating watching folk say they love the travelercon/aeor arcs and the ending. rewatching later c2 really emphasizes how many complaints hinged on extremely online & parasocial headspaces - you definitely wont hear anyone nowadays say liam is a biphobic cishet abusing matt by not making caleb kiss essek yet. i hope new fans have a better time than we did. oh - and get off twitter.