#and it’s because something funky happened in a time so far back we can’t fully comprehend it

[ulmus-spellook]

To any earth focused pagans I recommend learning about the primordial soup. I never feel more connected to the earth than I do when I read about the ~soup~ creationists are pussies for hating the soup. We are the result of ancient chemical reactions forming the very base of what are the ancestors of life. You come from the soup (if panspermia is a thing you would still come from soup somewhere) we come from the soup, and the soup was earth itself. The soup was made of a planet, probably our own present one

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

i love your metas! I just discovered them today and have spent all afternoon reading them. I have two part ask, if that's okay. Firstly, do you think a sensible version of bella could survive if she recognised early on that keeping on Edward's good side was her only survival option? and secondly, on the flip side, just how unhinged do you think bella could be before edward rejected her?

Ooh, both interesting questions, anon. Let's do this.

Sane Bella and the Yandere Simulator

Last time, on The Carnivorous Muffin's ridiculous blog, we covered what would happen to a sensible Bella who realizes the Cullens are not fluffy bunnies she should take home.

The long and short, Edward eats her.

Edward's romantic interest in Bella, the thing that has him fighting his own baser nature to keep her alive, is dependent on a few things.

One of those is Bella's interest in turn.

In time, if Bella truly was not interested in him, he would eat her. Alice tells us there's only two paths for Bella: death or vampire. Leaving her and walking away is never a true option for Edward.

So, Sane Bella loses Yandere Simulator because she doesn't realize the key aspect of Yandere Simulator: You Never Say No to Yandere.

However, you point out something interesting here, that this is a sensible Bella.

Sensible people do not immediately think they're playing Yandere Simulator. You don't run across people like Edward often, there aren't many of him, and while there are red flags early in Twilight Edward did a pretty good job of making them not particularly visible.

By the time we hit Eclipse he's pretty much thrown pretending to be nice and sane out the window. Luckily for Bella, that doesn't appear to bother her as much as it should.

Bella thinking "if I don't play along with this inhuman whack job he'll eat me", is paranoid lunacy. It is not the first conclusion a reasonable person would jump to.

That it happens to be the right conclusion is irrelevant.

But alright, I'll play ball.

Paranoid Bella and the Yandere Simulator

Bella is utterly paranoid and wearing her tin foil hat when she enters Forks. She remembers Biology very well and when Edward comes back and pretends to be nice she gives him a strained smile and thinks, "This motherfucker will eat me the moment my back is turned."

Bella considers travelling back to Florida, but that would be leading Edward to her mother, more it would be very easy to find Bella if he truly wished to.

Florida isn't an option.

Bella tries to keep her distance from Edward, hard when he sits next to her in Biology, but he seems willing to ignore her. Bella calms down a little, maybe this will work out.

Bella is nearly crushed by a van, desperately pretends she definitely did not see Edward fold that van like a pretzel. Nope, no siree Bob, Bella is concussed! She then stays awake all night in terror and OH GOD HE'S CLIMBING THROUGH HER WINDOW! HE'S GOING TO EAT HER IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT! HE KNOWS THAT SHE KNOWS!

Bella pretends to sleep, horrified, and Edward stays there all night. Staring.

(Edward, meanwhile, is realizing he's in love.)

Bella enters school a nervous wreck, waiting for that fateful Biology class and... Edward is studiously ignoring her. He doesn't even say hello.

Bella would be relieved, except he keeps sneaking into her bedroom at night, staring. Bella gets no sleep for weeks.

Then the blood testing happens and suddenly Edward is talking to her. He tells her they shouldn't be friends and he doesn't want to be friends, GREAT, EDWARD, THAT'S GREAT. But then it's very clear that he's after something, and Bella's spidey senses are tingling.

Edward doesn't want to be friends.

Oh, oh shit.

Suddenly, Edward sneaking into her room at night takes on a whole, new, sinister twist. First he'll rape her, then he'll eat her (or who knows, maybe vice versa, Bella certainly doesn't want to find out).

Bella is driven home by Edward (he insists) and enters the house to wheeze into a paper bag.

She thinks over her options.

Edward can crush cars, Bella trips over asphalt. Even if she wasn't Bella, there's no way she could outfight him even if she wanted to.

Edward was very concerned when he suspected that she knew, he likely still suspects and Bella's not a very good liar. Bella doesn't want to find out what happens to her if Edward realizes she really does know.

Edward appears to have a romantic interest in her. Does Bella really have the option of saying no?

Bella, still wheezing in her bag, comes to what seems like an inevitable decision. She must humor Edward at all costs. For the sake of her family, of her own life, she must play into his romantic overtures. Bella can't act but now, her life depends on it.

Well, Bella still can't act, but luckily for her Edward doesn't care.

Edward just thinks Bella's very jumpy, a little nervous and shy, and just plain weird (given he thinks Bella's just plain weird in canon this is not too far from normal events).

So Bella gets to live in terror for things like the meadow, where Edward talks about how easy it would be to eat her, how he contemplated murdering Biology in cold blood to eat her in the most efficient manner, how he loathed her for daring to smell delicious, how Alice warned him there was a good chance of him eating Bella in the meadow today, all while pressing his cheek against her hammering heartbeat.

"AH HA HA HA HA, EDWARD, YOU'RE SO CHARMING."

Edward invites Bella to the house. These creepy, man eating, people all meet her with smiles. Edward has composed her a lullaby. One of them, Alice, tells Bella they're going to be best friends.

"AH HA HA HA HA, EDWARD YOUR FAMILY IS SO NICE."

In other words, somehow, all of Twilight still happens because Bella is terrified of saying no.

At least, until Volterra. Given Bella's being hunted by Victoria, even had Bella not gone cliff diving eventually Alice would see her eaten and then black out as the wolves chased off Victoria instead.

Bella spends New Moon having a great time. Mostly. The Cullens are finally gone, she's free, she spends weeks on edge thinking they might come back.

Just when she starts to relax, fucking Laurent shows up and learns Victoria's trying to kill her. Because of Edward, because of course, it's always about Edward. WHY ARE VAMPIRES ALWAYS TRYING TO KILL HER?!

Regardless, Alice shows up and goes, "Bella, my god, you're alive!" And Bella dies inside. Alice Cullen is back. Oh no.

Bella pretends she's thrilled to see her. Alice, her best friend, her favorite demon. Hurray. Alice fills Bella in on the New Moon scoop, Bella pretends to be very invested. Then Alice gets the vision.

Edward has decided to commit suicide via the Volturi.

Bella has no problem with this, unfortunately, she realizes that Alice clearly has a problem with this. Alice fully expects Bella to run off to Italy to save Fucking Edward.

Once again, Bella isn't sure she's allowed to say no.

Bella runs to Italy, finds herself saving Edward's life, and then she's brought before the Volturi where she might very well be executed because Edward Cullen happened to involve her in this mess.

BELLA NEVER WANTED TO BE HERE.

Bella snaps. She's crying, she just can't take it anymore, and she finally loses her shit at Edward. SHE NEVER LOVED HIM! HE IS SCARY AND WON'T LEAVE HER ALONE! IF THEY'RE GOING TO KILL HER JUST DO IT NOW BECAUSE SHE CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

Aro watches Bella's mental breakdown in utter amazement. Naturally, while Marcus suspected something was funky with those two, Aro did not see this coming from Edward's perspective.

Aro offers Bella her out, it is unfortunately death or vampire, but vampire is very much an option and Aro will offer Bella sanctuary in the Volturi.

Bella takes that offer and runs with it.

Edward is devastated and blindsided.

Somehow, neither he nor Alice saw this one coming.

But to answer your question: Paranoid Bella survives Yandere Simulator By Defecting to the Volturi

How Unhinged Does Bella Have to Be For Edward to Dump Her?

He won't.

Remember, Edward in canon thinks there's something legitimately wrong with Bella. She doesn't think like normal people, she always makes the least rational choice, and he can't hear her thoughts.

Edward doesn't think Bella's gifted just that she's... different. (Bella, hilariously, immediately picks up that Edward's calling her a freak. Edward backtracks hard on that one.)

Bella's decisions also become increasingly ridiculous as the series goes on.

She stabs herself in the middle of a battle, she insists on having sex with him while human, she consorts with shapeshifters (to Edward this is lunacy), she picked up motorcycle riding, she threw herself off a cliff, she ran from his sweet protection to the reservation, she believes he doesn't love her, and she doesn't want to get married.

I imagine Edward thinks there isn't anywhere left for Bella to go. She's left the planet, unhinged is her middle name.

But none of that matters.

I already linked the Edward/Bella post I always link near the top so I'll just recap. For Edward, it's all about the blood, the silence, and the projection.

An unhinged Bella is still a delicious and silent Bella. He can still pretend she's Carlisle.

Even if Bella became addicted to cocaine, and ruined that sweet scent, it wouldn't tarnish her memory. He'd nurse her back to health, then eat her so she never relapses.

That's the trouble with Edward/Bella, it's not about Bella, not at all. You could replace her with sweet smelling cardboard and Edward would not notice a difference.

[prof-peach]

If you could cross over two of your favorite games, which would you choose? Please explain, why that crossover would be a good match.

Oh you’re going to regret asking this one, I’m bout to GET SERIOUS.

So Pokemon, obvs, I love the whole world it’s built in, but the games imo are REALLY boring, I haven’t enjoyed one a lot since gale of darkness, the main ones just are a little too linear obvious plots, pretty standard setups for story and style. Speaking of style, the games lack personality, the models aren’t animated well, moves have no dynamic energy or visual difference at times, and the turn based battle style just feels kind of, I don’t know, old? Slow? Just doesn’t suit what I enjoy personally, gives me a FInal Fantasy vibe and I just cannot stand the speed at which things happen in those games, plus not into 3rd person ‘let’s build a team of people’ much, but that’s a problem for another time. With this all in mind, the game I wish would happen is like gen20 Pokemon, far future sadly, I doubt I’d see it in my lifetime but god I’d be happy if I did!

Ok so take the newest Zelda graphics, the visual treat that was BOTW, open world, puzzles, not JUST combat, you got side missions, hunt the chickens, find missing pets, parcels, items, whatever. Love it! The horse taming?! Amazing you funky little game. Now take the bad guys and beasts from that. And put Pokemon in instead. Give them the diversity, the life and believable natures that BOTW gave the animals, I followed a frog in BOTW for 15 minutes, and it was a great experience, it felt like it was believable. Above world spawning, ACTUAL difficult gameplay, rare spawn rates, make dragons hard to get again, cmon, it’s too easy now, make it so we need a certain set of Pokemon for certain tasks. Water types big enough to carry you will be able to get you to new areas, rock types that can help you climb mountains faster, or break through blocking boulders. Actual towns with more than 4 houses in them, shops, barns, farms, homes. Like little link with the heat, maybe ice types would struggle in volcano areas, or bug Pokemon not be so comfortable in gale force winds. Give the weather more of an effect on your partners. Mounts, don’t even get me started that Pokemon Let’s go had you able to ride any of the larger species, but swsh did not???? Bitch please, give me my rideable Pokemon. The wild area too was far too closed, limited, online was laggy and a mess, camping is limited, let me do more with my team. Pokemon for me is all about the actual creatures, how they live with humans, and the many wonderful things they’re capable of. Yes of course it’s cool they can fight, but like what else you know?

I’d love a game that lets me buy a plot of land, maybe plant things, custom build things. I’m a sucker for the fallout4 settlement builds when they’re modded to hell and back, they’re fun! It can be a really calm and creative process. If I could do that and skip the main campaign and all the battles for a bit? Amazing, it sound perfect for me. I am that distracted hoe collecting flowers while the kingdom burns in the background. Side quests are everything to me. Let me give homeless people enough money to get them in a home? Let me adopt Pokemon that are stray around the town? Plz oh plz bring me a Pokemon game that allows me to work WITH my team to do more than KO other species. I want to save and buy a plow for my buddy gogoat, and grow amazing foods to sell to get currency to spend in decorations, to spoil my team. Give me actual game consequence, if I ignore that sick and injured Pokemon I find in the wild, later maybe it’s family don’t want to help me out with a different problem, too stricken from grief. I am all about the average bits, the old women who need help, the lost pets board in town, the general day to day stuff. Let me get cosmetic items for the Pokemon I keep, cute outfits, special gemstone items, let me actually live with them, or even feel remotely like they’re realistic.

Ok so in game, if it’s looking like BOTW it’s pretty beautiful but also stylised, I’d have it so you can send out a maximum of 3 Pokemon from your 6, using bumpers and such to throw them out. If you hit the trigger you switch from controlling the human trainer, to the Pokemon you’ve targeted with a standard lock on targeting system. You then can be the leader, but be the Pokemon. You could technically defeat the game without a human if you wanted, which incorporates the mystery dungeon games I think, and caters to that crowd. I’d love to see the use of attacks out of battle, things like using water gun to grow plants, using ember to start a campfire faster and stave off the cold. There’s no consequence to Pokemon anymore, and I think that’s where it’s lost me. I have to admit I miss the days of a poisoned pokemon fainting if you don’t heal them soon enough, I miss gym battles that were actually tough, damn, try picking charmander in red and beating brock without grinding in viridian forest first, it’s not easy. And I loved that. Yes it’s a child’s game, it will never be difficult again, but god it’d be nice to have a bit of a challenge, or maybe a difficulty setting, so some could play it with hostility turned off, great for kids, or you can be n adult like I know so many Pokemon fans are, and play it on expert mode and ACTUALLY have to work hard to beat the game. Alternate skill trees anyone? Train gun a fire type to ACUTALLy combat water moves?? Please! Cmon! It frustrated me that every challenger has pretty much a systematic set of moves to use to win. Grass opponent? Fire attack spam until you win. It’s dull, so at least with very difficult tricks to either find or learn in game would make it more achievable if you can send that fire type in and I don’t know, train them so much the heat evaporates the water mid-battle and you suddenly have a shot at winning. Pokemon has taught me that if you work hard enough you can achieve something, but the games just have such strict ways to win. Feels wrong.

In terms of battling, let us BE the Pokemon, let us learn to dodge, train our speed, train our defence, make a team of truly tough Pokemon instead of just, average? Some species have a cap on their skills, a squirtle has lower stat points than a Charizard, but you can’t ever change that? Let me choose the Pokemon I believe in, and let me work with them until they’re just as good, if not better than the game tanks. This would also make online battles more interesting. Everyone picks the top trio. Fairy, dragon, legendaries. And yknow what? It’s boring. That one IRL fight with the monster Pacharisu that won in the world tournament with follow me and the situs Berry? Unbelievable, I love that little rat so much because of this, so let us all have a chance to build a team that’s strategically viable, strong, and potentially a winner formula, even if they aren’t fully evolved, or the biggest Pokemon in the world. Yeah maybe you have to grind way harder with your unevolved Pokemon, but you get to the end game and win, because you put love and time into species that you enjoy, not just good fighters.

Unfortunately I am beholdent to Todd-idiot-Howard, and I love the Eldrescrolls and fallout games (before they got dumb, not that I don’t play the new ones. 76 I’m looking at you, you big asshole game.) honestly I hate online games, so none of that junk, just a good old fashioned open world sandbox game is plenty. Games for me are an escape from others, not an invitation to socialise. To each their own of course, and I do play online games sometimes, just pretty short lived ones, over watch and rdr2 for example. Would they be sometimes better on private servers? Yes of course, fallout76? Want to play with others? No. I do not. Please leave me alone. And if you buy a private server you’re feeding the monster that is Todd Howard, the man the myth the asshole, then we’ll get more bad games like 76. I just so desperately want the Pokemon company to see what a beautiful potential game they’ve got on their hands, that could be suitable for far greater audiences, but instead they’ve focused on the kids. It’s fine, it’s functional, but it’s lost to the fans from day 1, that are all 20+ years old now and want something meatier to play, something far more broad and inclusive. I also hate that there’s no wheelchair option in any Pokemon game. Like cmon, it’s not hard to include that.

In short, BOTW + Pokemon, with a sprinkle of open world sandbox to it, less fighting, more fun. Or, at least both options. Sure, go fight everything, great, but I want to farm carrots over here with 6sunflora, plz let me have some peace.

Edit: I forgot about harvest moon, chuck some of that in there too.

SECOND EDIT: someone in the comments mentioned to put this in Unova? Plz love yourselves, this game would be ALL MAPS. Stuff one singular location, this is the ideal game, put every map in it, join them, put islands in, make them more explorable, more detailed!

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 8/?

Word Count: 1.6k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best Friend’s Name)

This one is shorter because of the last one’s length.

Hi everyone! By the time you see this, I will probably be out and therefore cannot update the other parts with this one’s link, so don’t worry about that if you notice it.

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Jason’s Trauma and his Death, Lightning, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9)  (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Going on day 5 of knowing each other, Jason and Y/N would spend the day apart. Why? Because they gave each other the chance to have family time, Jason got it by playing around with his baby siblings, playing Assassin.

Fluff Head canon came from frownyalfred on Tumblr, who wrote about Jason playing Assassin with his brothers 

He would go running through the halls playing the game that he and Dick knew all too well, it had been the only ‘no contact’ game they were allowed to play at a summer camp Bruce had sent them to all those years ago when they weren’t adults with a bunch of other siblings, and girlfriends. But here they were, explaining the game to their younger siblings while Alfred and Bruce hung out with Barbara, who wished she could play, but was paralyzed.

Everyone missed playing games with her like they used to, but with the video game consoles in the house they did transfer a lot of their gaming to online so they could relive memories with Barbs. It was bittersweet, and everyone remembered when she became paralyzed like it was yesterday, but she always wanted them to play games like they used to, with or without her. 

Jason admired his, hopefully, one day older sister for how she treated her disability, like it was a gift, not something that impacted her everyday life and made her have to hang up the cloak of Batgirl.

But running around chasing after Dick, because of course, he got Dick, the universe wanted them to play again, was something he missed so much. They hadn’t had so much of this time, family time, ever since they all became vigilantes, and they never realized how much they missed the thrill of running around with each other.

Jason ended up getting Dick and throwing him out of the game, calling it a ‘selfless act of brotherhood so you can hang out with your girl’ and they both laughed at it. Titus, Damien’s dog, ended up barking up a storm at Jason when he killed Dick, like the big dog was rooting for Dick to win the tournament.

“Down boy! It’s a game!” Jason would whisper-yell at his dog.

“Yeah! Good boy, Titus! Get him!”

“No!” Jason would yell while running throughout the house, Titus on his heels. Passing by Alfred, Bruce and Barbara, where Titus would stop and go lay at Bruce’s feet, but Jason didn’t know that.

Jason would end up coming in just 10 minutes later, with a green slash on his neck. Tim, who had pulled Cass but killed her, Cass, who had pulled Jason. Tim now had two kills in the game and both were to people who could have easily overpowered him. 

“Jase! Welcome to the land of the dead,” Dick greeted him.

“God dammnit I’ve already been here,” Jason whined in a joke.

“You and your ‘I died pity me’  jokes,” Barbara said.

“It’s called a coping mechanism, Barbs. And hi dad, Alfred,” Jason said as he waved slightly at both of them, Alfred waved back and Bruce nodded at him.

“You could just to go therapy, Jase,” Barbara said, seeming concerned for someone who she considered her baby brother. She remember when he came into the Manor, she was older than him, sure . But he had nightmares and she and Dick would switch between who would sleep at his door at night, they both had terrible backs until the nightmares calmed down. Jason never knew they did this.

It also happened when he was resurrected, but the nightmares were worse and he’d wake all sweaty and upset. There were too many nights where batkids would be in Jason’s bed with him from 12am to when Alfred would greet them in the morning. The nightmares had slowed down a lot in the past few years with the introduction of his Goddaughter into his life, but they still came by to remind him of what happened.

He didn’t talk about it much. They would always try to edge him on about about really happened, but he was stubborn. It made sense, sure, trauma is trauma. But they all wanted to help him get better. It hurt them all that he was hurting and they didn’t know how to help him get through it.

--------------------------------------------------

Y/N would sit on her bed that morning and finally finished organizing her criminal psychology and regular psychology notes when she came across her printed copy of Dr. Barry Allen’s dissertation she had studied so hard. She found it so weird that she was so close to someone who she looked up to in the field while also being so far in the same breath.

She didn't dote on it for long, she stocked it away with her forensics notes in their place. This, the relationship she had with Jason that intertwined her with so many people, was something she was getting used to by the minute, but it was never something she’d get fully used to as time goes on.

She would put on a JCS - Criminal Psychology video in the background as she worked and tried to make her journal look nicer when Jason texted her,

Good morning. He said.

Good morning :)  She said back.

I just lost a game against a 16 year old.

Huh?

My brothers and 2 of my sisters were playing Assassins with me right? Well my 16 year old brother, Tim, he ended up getting the better of me and beat me. 

Oh! So you suck!

What!? No, I’m literally so cool what do you mean? He said, it clearly had sarcasm undertones to it, so Y/N wasn’t worried if she offended him with saying he sucked.

Oh yeah? Then why’d you lose?

Well, I killed Dick.

Okay so you didn’t lose, Dick lost.

It started raining a little bit, the sounds of it hitting lightly against her window, and she felt at peace. It was never hard for her to feel peace when she was by herself. She only had one roommate because she liked the silence, to be alone to collect her own thoughts in her head.

Her parents said it was because she probably had underlying mental illness that they never had the money to diagnose. She agreed. But she still didn’t have the chance to do it.

Jason and her deserved so much more than what the world have given them up to this point, so when they found each other it was, in a way, the universe saying ‘I’m sorry, you deserve this’ and with each passing day it made the pain they had both felt in their lives just a little bit more tolerable.

No, I guess Dick sucks at the game more than me.

Where’d you even get the concept for that game?

Dick and I used to play it at a Summer Camp before we got kicked out.

For playing the game?

No, for being unruly children.

You seem like you were a handful back in the day.

I was, I was the worst kid to raise, my dad has a shirt that says ‘Proud parent of a kid who is sometimes an asshole but that’s OK’ and he wears it all the time.

What a dad moment. Don’t tell my father that shirt exists, he’ll get one for my mum and himself to represent my sister and I.

Were you an unruly child as well?

I was a troublemaker. Getting into arguments with my authoritative figures about dress codes, rules, why girls couldn’t carry chairs, literally anything that was unequal, I was at their throats about it.

I mean, as you should. My older sister, Barbara, and my younger sisters, Stephanie and Cassie, they would like that about you.

I feel like in someway I’ve won over every part of your family.

The rain would get more violent as time went on. Strikes and hits of lightning would strike all around the city, hitting those gargoyles on every building, she always figured they were decorative, but A/N explained that their horns were made out of copper so people wouldn’t get struck by lightning. Bruce Wayne actually made that a thing, A/N said.

Y/N got a message from the dance competition that she signed up to, turns out, California was hit with a hurricane and most people evacuated. No one was allowed in or out. She guessed weather was being funky everywhere. It sucked, but she already was wishing she could spend time at home instead of out in the world.

A feeling she hated.

She would spend the rest of the day on and off the phone with Jason while it stormed. She would go to bed early that night.

-------------------------------------------------

Jason slipped on his vigilante uniform, the Red Hood was going to be on patrol over this night, stormy or not, it was his duty and he knew that. Did he want to go? Yes. He was killing for some action and he was going with Dick. They would probably have some ‘Bro Time’ which Jason wanted. 

Even if it was silence, having Dick nearby him meant enough and gave him peace of mind.

He grabbed his guns and loaded them while packing a few extra magazines in his belt, when Dick placed a hand on his shoulder, “You have to be careful tonight, Jase,” Dick said as he gulped down tears, “Just come back to me alive if you break off from me, okay?”

“Alive but bruised,” Jason joked.

“I’m serious. I can’t lose you again and tonight is going to be massively dangerous.”

“You won’t.”

[fae-fucker]

Zenith: Chapter 76-79

Chapter 76

Andi has a nice little poetic nightmare. It’s irrelevant. The next morning has the girls preparing for the ball, complete with dresses and makeup.

Some things to note include Lira saying that in Adhiran religion (which is global, I guess), one has to mourn for three days before “letting” the souls of the dead pass on into ... everything.

Andi tries to say that it’ll take time to heal from it all, but Lira is having none of it.

“It will take time to move past what happened on Adhira,” Andi started, but Lira held up a hand.

“My three days of mourning have passed. Lon’s and my aunt’s, too. Now we, and the others who lost loved ones during the attack, must give the lost spirits to the stars, to the trees, to the wind.”

Which basically means that she’s done feeling bad about the unexpected and brutal attack on her home planet, so that’s convenient. Well, if one of our main characters doesn’t care about her people getting senselessly murdered, then why should we?

She also lets us know that her aunt has fixed up the Marauder and brought it here, because of course. Lira wants to arrange for Lon to be transferred to the Marauder, and though she has a logical reason for it (taking him home personally), it’s only a setup so we know why he’s on there at the end of the book when Andi’s bleeding out and needs a universal donor.

Spoilers, I guess.

Andi’s mother, Glorya, intercepts Andi as she tries to leave her crew to their makeover montages, just so we can move into a scene where her mom is brushing her hair and babbling on about gossip and vapid high society stuff.

But Andi, of course, gets lost in a flashback that’s so amateurishly written it’s honestly embarrassing and only highlights Shinsay’s helpless reliance on flashbacks as a storytelling device.

Observe:

Her words faded away as memories took their place. Andi lost herself to them.

The whole flashback is written in italics for some inexplicable reason, even though it would’ve been fine as just regular text since we’re clearly told what’s happening now and what’s a memory.

Also, there’s one bit where the memory “fast-forwards” to a different one. Shinsay, this isn’t a fucking movie. This isn’t a screenplay. What the fuck are you DOING.

The flashback and the mother’s inane babbling are all there to illustrate how vapid and brainless Glorya is and how she only ever cared about her status and not about her kid. Glorya pretends that everything is back to the way it was but Andi curses her out for abandoning her when she needed them most and how “the way it was” was actually always shit.

I mean it’s fine. It’s all right. I see what they’re going for, it’s melodramatic as all fuck but it works for what they’re trying to do? I can see this as being a realistic way for an emotionally neglectful family to look like. I wish it was more nuanced and wasn’t just shoe-horned in here (Glorya doesn’t show up before or after this bit, this is the only time she’s ever present or even mentioned in this book in any meaningful capacity) for the sake of making Andi’s friends look better and for her to not have anything that anchors her to Arcardius, but like, I won’t say this isn’t realistic.

And then Shinsay can’t stop themselves and it’s back to silly time:

“Really, Androma...” 

[...]

“That is not my name,” Andi whispered. She allowed the darkness to come up into her voice, the mask of shadow and steel to sweep across her face. “My name is the Bloody Baroness. And if you or Commander Racella ever so much as utter a single word toward me or my crew again, I will personally strip the skin from your body and wave it like a flag from my starship.”

Glorya let out a soft squeak. Andi snarled with all of her teeth.

Guys I can’t breathe this is too fucking funny. And not in a good “woo vindication!” sort of way, but in a “they really put this right after an emotional confrontation about parental emotional neglect/abuse huh?” way. They really thought this was ... badass? Revenge? Andi, sweetie, you’re, like, traumatized? Presumably? I can’t really tell. But maybe get some therapy?

Do Shinsay think this is somehow a win and that Andi’s threat means she’s fully released from the hurt and pain her parents have caused her through their neglect? It’s honestly written as if Andi just confronted her mother and her own hopes of coming back to her family in this one short scene, and then upon realizing her parents never loved her, she scares her mom a little and then is all smug and satisfied at the end.

That ain’t how it works, darlings.

Then the annoying Marketable Space Pet runs in and starts biting Glorya’s toes and she runs away shrieking like a defeated Disney villain.

Way to undercut your own drama, Shinsay.

The chapter ends with Andi thinking about how her crew is her True Family for the bajillionth time. Because we’re all idiots and Shinsay wants us to remember that.

Chapter 77

It’s the evening of the ball and Andi thinks about how she missed Bavista, which is apparently your generic coming-of-age ball held at Arcardius for every 16-year-old. I’m guessing it’s a yearly thing? The book never clarifies. Not sure why the fuck it’s here tbh.

Actually, it’s a pretty good demonstration of how the worldbuilding in this book is presented so here, have at thee:

She could still remember seeing the otherworldly dresses and suits float by her on the feeds as she watched the girls and boys glide into the A’Vianna House in the Glass Sector. They seemed light as air, full of pride, bursting at the seams with excitement. Once inside, they would be greeted by members of the Priest Guild, who would award each young person three items.

The first was a vial of water from the Northern Ocean, symbolizing strength. For growth, they accepted a single leaf from the oldest tree on Arcardius, known as The Mother, which was said to have been planted when the Ancients first arrived. Lastly, they were given a single floating pebble, no larger than a child’s fingernail, chiseled from the very gravarock where the Cortas estate was. It represented the wisdom of rising above.

Is this relevant to anything? Does this help you understand this world or its inhabitants? Does it tell you anything of the culture of Arcardius or its youth and what’s expected of them? No? It’s just a really generic list of things thrown together using Mystical Proper Nouns as glue? Weeell heeell.

Also what does “it represented the wisdom of rising above” mean? This is utterly generic and means fuck-all, that’s what.

Anyway, Andi’s admiring herself in the mirror. Her dress is very sexy, trust me, I can’t be bothered to include it so just imagine your favorite My Immortal outfit description. It does include sword holsters at the back, which are Andi’s favorite part, because she’s a strong independent woman who don’t need no man. She never actually uses them or brings the swords to the ball so ... Idk what the point of this was.

We also get some shit about how Andi actually LOVES dresses and being pretty but she never admitted it to anyone. But don’t you worry, this badass space criminal LOVES all things girly, because that’s feminism! Can someone check in on Shinsay? I’m not sure they’re getting enough air with their heads so far up Sarah J Maas’ asshole.

Admitting to herself that she looked pretty was something Andi kept private. She didn’t want to give her crew the satisfaction of knowing her true thoughts about fashion. How even though she was a fierce, hardened criminal, she could still appreciate the joy of a beautiful, impractical ball gown.

Huh. And here I thought they were your family. That’s weird that you’d keep this information from them, especially considering all of them seemed pretty excited to be prettied up in the last chapter. I guess they’d really just haaate the idea of sharing this joy with their captain, huh? Why aren’t you admitting this to them, Andi?

You’re saying shit about how “even though” you’re a hardened criminal, you can “still” appreciate beautiful gowns, like those two are somehow contradictory. Are you, mayhaps, ashamed of having this traditionally girly interest? Hmm! Interesting. Why could that be, I wonder? Why would having traditionally feminine interests or even caring about one’s appearance be seen as something inherently shameful or embarrassing, as inherently contradictory to being fierce and “hardened?”

This is all just so *clenches fist* feminist.

Forreal though, somehow Shinsay managed to take their entire made up GALAXY and make it subtly and not-so-subtly sexist. Good job, morons. Really girlbossed that one, huh?

The only bit I like about this whole mess is this:

The dressmaker had also accented her gown with a sparkling necklace full of jewels that Andi didn’t plan on giving back.

This is the one and only space pirate-y thing Andi does -- sorry, considers doing -- in the whole book and honestly could’ve been used to build her character more, but it’s just a one-off joke here. Wasted.

Valen comes to fetch her and we get some subtle foreshadowing.

“Valen the Resurrected.”

He stopped to look at her, brows raised. “What?”

She shrugged. “It’s what the press is calling you in all the feeds.” Valen let out a deep chuckle.

[...]

“Something tells me things are about to change for the better,” he said. “I’m ready to see it all happen.”

Andi wondered what he would do now that he was home with a whole planet at his disposal.

He deserved to have some fun.

Is it bad that I’m rooting for Valen to destroy everything? And this isn’t my villain-fucker coming out, I just want this poor bastard to absolutely annihilate Andi and her gang of acolytes.

Chapter 78

Andi and Valen arrive at the ball. It’s all very pretty and space-y and aesthetic. There’s a bunch of aliens everywhere. Andi sees a woman with funky eyes and assumes it’s a body mod, because I guess she knows the genetic characteristics of every species by heart and can tell when something is real or not.

An old classmate of theirs comes up to talk to Valen and congratulate him on being alive, then Andi reminds him of who she is just to be a smug asshole and the guy fucks off in a panic. She’s just so cool and badass, you guys.

Then it’s time for Valen and Andi to dance, and of course General Cortas looks like he’s about to lose his marbles because these darn kids! >:(

The chapter ends on Andi noticing Dex pouting in the distance.

“Relax,” Andi whispered. “Let’s give them something to talk about.”

She flashed him a wicked grin as the music began.

And as Valen spun her into the first move of the dance, Andi saw Dex standing on the fringes of the crowd, an expression of longing clear on his face.

Chapter 79

This chapter is exactly 298 words of Dex moping around about how he’s actually not over Andi at all when he thought he’d done such a good job of repressing his feelings, and how he should be the one dancing with Andi instead of Valen. If you’re surprised, you’re clinically dead.

[pamgkrthwrites]

Flame of Healing | EraserMic x Reader | Chapter Two - Too Close

Masterlist | AO3

Warning: Soulmate AU, little bit of Oboro x Reader, fem reader, ANGST. 

Word Count: 2012

A/N: Reader is on the fence on if will date her soulmates. This be a major point in the story so, hold onto your hats. I’ve tried writing reader in a way so you can’t tell their race. Idk if these chapters will be daily, just been needing to write some comfort shit. WE WILL GET THERE I PROMISE. Kinda slow burn? maybe lol.

“Hey Y/N!” You heard a voice behind you.

You turned and saw your blue hair friend running towards you with a bright smile on his face.

“Oboro, how you doing buddy?” You smiled as he slowed down to stop next to you.

It had been months science the sports festival, and the next UA school festival was in a weeks time. You may have not changed your stance on not loving them, but you did change your stance on meeting them. You were going to choose your love, not a name on your wrist.

“Have you picked out what you are going to wear?” He asked as he caught his breath. 

“Yes Oboro, I have.” You smiled. 

Your friend was trying his hardest on his end to become friends with your soulmates. So far he only befriended Hizashi, or was at least on speaking terms. Apparently Hizashi was friendly to everyone, which made you giggle as you hugged your pillow at night.

“It’s in your favourite colour yes?” He asked, straightening up and looking at you deeply.

“Yes, it is.” You laughed. “And it doesn’t really matter. It feels rude to come in all fancy to meet your soulmate only to reject said soulmate. I’m just meeting them.”

“Which is very important!” He smiled all goofy.

You smiled, and you two walked home together.

Oboro rubbed the back of his neck. “Once Aizawa finds out about you being his soulmate he’ll probably get real nasty if he sees me walking you home.”

Apparently Shouta got angry at Oboro for addressing him with his first name. He only did so because of you but Shouta was seeing it as rude.

“Is he that way with Hizashi?” You asked. You loved asking about the two. It filled up your heart with a soft warmness.

“Yeah, some girl in the support class confessed her feelings to Hizashi.” Oboro stated. You felt your heart freeze. It wasn’t unheard of for people to fall for someone who wasn’t their soulmate, it just ends badly when the soulmate turned up or if the other had one. “Hizashi was cool about it and said he already found his soulmate. Though, he did check if she was you.”

That warmed your heart but also fill you with dread. He thought about you sure, but he was looking for you. 

“Aizawa cracked the shits once he found out. He went off to go find her but Hizashi stopped him. Apparently she tried to play off she was you but she didn’t have the same name.”

“It’s kinda funny people are claiming to be their soulmate yet your the only person who knows.” You laughed.

His laughed followed. His laugh always filled your heart with warmness. Not the same as your soulmates did, but in a different way. 

“I do worry though,” Oboro said. “I think they have started their relationship and I don’t want your fear of being the third wheel to become true.”

It wasn’t something you could ignore anymore. The fear that your soulmates were happy together and may fear what you’ll do to that. 

“That’s why I’m going simply-casual. Once they figure out who I am, they will just see someone they can see casually or romantically if need be.”

“So you are willing to date them.” He smirked at you.

“In the future. Right now it is I don’t see myself dating them. I do love them in a way but I can’t see myself dating them anytime soon.”

Oboro always had a sad soft expression when he heard you say that. Oboro took your hands and looked you in eyes. You felt your heart pounding as you looked up at him.

“Y/N, you have so much love to give.” He smiled sweetly. “Even if you choose not to love them, you are going to show so much love to someone else, and they will fully love you.”

Your heart raced and your cheeks burned. You were suddenly aware of how close you two were and you stared at his lips. You realised how close you were and you wanted to be closer. You didn’t understand this feeling, it was similar but not the same to when you saw or heard about your soulmates.

“Oboro!” A funky sounding voice said behind you two.

You both broke eye contact to see who was speaking, and your heart dropped.

“Hizashi?” Oboro said in a confused voice as he let go of your hands. 

“Hey there buddy.” Hizashi smiled and stopped in front of you two. “Is that your girlfriend?”

Your cheeks burned and Oboro had a noticeable redness to his ears and cheeks.

“NO! No, she is my friend!” Oboro smiled as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and brought you in.

You couldn’t stop staring at Hizashi. Dear god your soulmate almost watched you kiss someone else-

Oh god, you almost kissed Oboro.

You two became quiet, almost as though you both understood what almost happened. 

“Well, she is a cutie!” Hizashi said. However, his voice sounded strained, as though he was holding back anger. “What’s your name?”

You looked into Hizashi’s glasses, and briefly saw the anger in his eyes. Did he know you were his soulmate? Did he understand what he walked in on? Did he hate you?

You couldn’t make a sound, all you could do was lower your head and shuffle to hide behind Oboro. 

Oboro looked at you briefly before looking at Hizashi and smiled. “Sorry, she is rather shy. I’m taking her to the School Festival next week though. Maybe you two can chat then?”

Hizashi simply smiled, but with anger behind it. “That’s cool. Does her soulmate know your with her?”

Panic burst into your body. 

Did he know? 

Did his heart beat fast when looking at you like you did?

Would he stay angry at you?

What if he never loved you because of this.

You heard Oboro take a breath in to answer to you cut him off.

“I don’t actually have a soulmate.” You stated.

Oboro snapped his head around to you and Hizashi’s smiled turned into a frown.

“Really?” Hizashi asked. His voice sounded like a mix of shock and sadness. 

You pulled out your wrists which had their names covered with makeup. Of course, he wouldn’t know that Oboro did though.

“...I see…” Hizashi’s voice sounded defected. “Sorry ‘bout that Listener, I must’ve been jelly over your closeness with my pal here!”

Oboro looked at you then back at Hizashi. “It’s alright Huzashi, see you tomorrow?”

“...Yeah, sure I will!” Hizashi forced a smiled and walked off. 

Once he was out of ear and eyeshot, Oboro turned to you and whispered. 

“...Y/N, why did you lie to him like that?” He asked.

“He was scary!” You looked at him. “What else was I suppose to do? Say ‘Yes hello I am your soulmate and almost kissed your’-”

Oboro covered your mouth with his hand. His cheeks were burning red. 

“Y/N, we are never talking about that again.” He glared.

You grabbed his hand and pulled it away from your face. “If you are going to say I’m confused, don’t. Who said I had to love my soulmates anyway? There isn’t a law against it!”

Oboro took his hand away from you. You both glared at each other.

“Y/N, I’m sorry but I can’t be your rebound off of your soulmates.”

It felt like you were stung by a bee. 

Did you love Oboro? You didn’t know. You were close to him sure, but were you that close?

“I’ll see you later, Y/N.” You said before he turned away and walked on without you.

You wanted to cry.

---

Shouta was doing his homework when Hizashi started spamming him, trying to call him.

He sighed and picked up. “‘Zashi this better be importan-”

He heard sniffle on the other end. “I thought I saw her, Shou!”

Shouta’s heart dropped. Ever since Hizashi and Shouta met each other first day, they had wondered if you ould pop up soon. They checked the names of the students in the other classes and years and couldn’t find it. 

Shouta had been bullied for years for having two names, but once he met Hizashi, his life became a little less dark. His parents were happy that he found one of his soulmates, but his world didn’t feel whole without you.

He never had anyone been really interested in any of his soulmates names until that one time in the changing rooms where Shirakumo saw it. 

“Whoa, you have two names?” He smiled as he looked at his wrists.

Oboro Shirakumo was soulless, which meant he didn’t have a soulmate. Maybe he wouldn’t judge like everyone else did. 

He smiled brightly when he saw Hizashi’s name, but when it came to your name, he stopped. 

“Y/N L/N?” 

He never heard anyone but himself and Hizashi pronounce your last name correctly. He went to extreme measures to saw it correctly so he wouldn’t offend you, and he was proud of that. Shirakumo knowing how to say it and how he reacted, only said one thing to him. 

He knew you, personally.

Shouta wished he could be happy about that, that he could use Oboro to meet you, but all he felt was anger for the cloud boy.

He started to hate him and avoided him all he could. He, of course, told Hizashi, who took it as becoming friends with Oboro to use him to meet you. 

Hizashi spoke, breaking Shouta’s thoughts. “There was this cutie girl who was holding Oboro’s hands, pretty sure they almost kissed. But looking at her, made me heart thump so hard man!  But when I saw the bigger picture, my body grew angry!”

Shouta grew angry just hearing about it. Was that why Oboro reacted the way he did when he saw your name on his left wrist? Because he was dating you?

Hizashi continued. “So I walked my butt up to them. They both reacted like I walked in on a soulmate cheating yo! I tried asking for her name but she refused to give it up!”

Shouta only grew angry. He wanted to snap Oboro’s head. If that girl was their soulmate, he was holding her back from her true love for some fake shit!

“So I asked if her soulmate knew she was there, ya’know, t-to see if she was yours, ya’know?” Hizashi started stuttering as he started to cry. 

Shouta sat there, hearing his soulmate cry over the phone. He couldn’t do anything, he felt his heart was going to break from anger.

“She said she doesn’t have a soulmate.”

Lying bitch.

You were going to make this hard, weren’t you?

What did that cloud fucker do to you?

What could some soulless fucker have that was better than meeting your soulmates?!

“She brought out her wrists willingly to prove she doesn’t have one.”

…

Shouta’s heart dropped.

So… That wasn’t you…

He felt his eyes water and he hunched over his desk.

God that wasn’t you.

He was about to murder Oboro because of a misunderstanding. 

He was weak. 

So fucking weak.

Shouta looked at his right wrists to look at your name.

“We’ll find her one day, ‘Zashi.” Shouta said, as strongly as he could.

---

Oboro and you walked to the UA school festival early in the morning. You too hadn’t really talked since the almost kissed thing.

“So, you’re not going to confess to lying to them?” He asked.

“To Hizashi, yes. Just call me M/N when we are there.”

“Why M/N?” He asked, raising an eye brow.

“It’s my middle name. If they hear that and my last name, they may think I’m my cousin or something. It will keep them at a distance.”

“...If you say so.” He said as he put his hands into his jacket pockets.

You wore a hoodie in your favourite colour and jeans. Casual. 

Nothing that would provoke romantic feelings from your soulmates.

[petriichvrs]

ONE  YEAR  OF  NOXTMS  /  five  dyanmics  with  two  bonus  !

more thoughts / information under the cut ! 

001.   𝐃𝐔𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘  &  𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘.   ( @ddudleys )

every single day, i think about this pair & just how unexpectedly ... brilliant they are. i hope by now my love of dudley is just very apparent, but if it ISN’T - i love his character so, so much, and i think you’re an incredibly talented person for being able to give him this whole personality and existence beyond the end of the books that fits with his canon so well and still gives him his chance to be a good person. dudley & ginny bonding following the war, attending support group together ... ginny telling him wildly incorrect things about the world for a laugh, the fact they have TOTALLY bonded even more over both being sports people, the moment where they held hands at grimmauld place, everything after ... jesus christ ! i can never ever be eloquent enough to express the way they make me feel, and the way that any new little insight into their dynamic be it by meme or by thread just makes them that bit more real to me, but i’m so grateful for this funky pair, and you better know it ! 

002.   𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘  &  𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘.  ( @dolors  )

tell me a year ago that someday i’d actually care about the malfoy family and i’d have FOUGHT you over it - at no point did i ever expect to pick up narcissa, and after i did, i never expected to get such a complex and amazingly thought out lucius to write opposite of. i still remember the moment where blo and i realised you were going to bring him, and the EXCITEMENT we felt at the fact that this individual i already knew semi okay who was writing such an excellent interpretation on hermione was going to bring us a character who can be so polarising, in a lot of ways. the hope ? the willingness to die for you immediately, simply because you were going to DO it ? cherry i cannot believe there was ever a time where we were not friends in the way we are now, and i REALLY can’t remember an instance where i didn’t have malfam + lucissa to get me through my day. they’re my emotional support morally grey family who think of themselves first & foremost and everyone else after, okay ? lucius is a lot of things, and you do such a good job at writing ( and acknowleding ) them, but inside the walls of malfoy manor he’s narcissa’s honey bunch with an unhealthy emotional attachment for his peacocks & brilliant taste in erotica novels for their next book club session. 

003.   𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐙𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐍𝐈  &  𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘.  ( @ofzvbini )​

mozzie, let’s not cut straws on this one : holy fuck. holy JESUS. holy moley. all the holys. here is the thing - my love for blaise zabini as a character / concept and my appreciation for the blaise/ginny dynamic that could exist had NEVER gotten to be mutually exclusive until you came along. never ! it wasn’t something to feel hard done by, or anything, but... i kinda do, now, but for a different reason, which is that you’ve set the bar for characters SO HIGH in general and i’m never ever going to be able to find another interpretation of blaise that even remotely lives up to yours, nor do i think that anyone will ever be on the such a similar wavelength to me, when it comes this connection. the energy all around is just utterly UNMATCHED, and the fact that... even just rereading our replies from the last event to get this excerpt, i realised i wanted so badly to reply again right now immediately, because the sparring of their words and lets be honest, the PALPABLE sexual tension going on in that thread was so genuinely fun and entertaining. i just think you knock it out of the park so consistently with your characters and the connections you write with them. i could have said any of our dynamics - luna + ginny, luna + nazli, luna + narcissa, eulalia + niko, blaise + merry, blaise + narcissa, blaise + niko - YOU GET THE PIC ! i love u moz. please marry me under the moonlight i think it would be very romantic-

004.   𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑  &  𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐅.  ( @pclearwaters )

i want in on record that penny clearwater is the love of my life, actually. i want it on fuckin RECORD, because the love i have for this character who gets paid nothing but DIRT in the series all because you took her up & gave her this whole life and character and storyline that made her into... like, a real person ? who makes me feel sometimes ... just very sad, but who also brings me such joy. penny & niko are another example of that fun little thing we do where we throw these totally different characters together and then see what happens ( usually the most perfect of unexpected friendships ). i loved the last thread we did between them most, because it was one of the first chances i had ever gotten to showcase that a side of niko not really seen so often, and his confusion at penny’s genuine beautific happiness was just ... really fun to write and get into. i truly think you do such a good job with penny, and i love the dedication you have to the clearwaters, full stop. here’s to many more of their weird lil interactions ! 

005.   𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐘  &  𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘. ( @blondsnake )

six months ago, they were one of the dynamics i chose to talk about in the original meme. when i did it that time, the excerpt i chose was : “i’m sorry,” he tells her, voice cracking, and he doesn’t know what he’s sorry for anymore. for the sins of his father? for ginny’s ruined childhood? for the fact that he is draco malfoy, and not someone else? & the REASON i chose them was at the time we wrote that thread, it felt very... real and raw and human, to me. it felt like we were exposing a nerve. the malfoy / weasley dynamic is expanded on so much when it comes to every other weasley, and ginny’s interaction with the family she has so much of a history with, with the son of the person who really took a key role in what she went through as an eleven year old, was just... so non-existent that getting to touch on it in the way we did felt...  incredbly important, and i remember the thread best for setting the continued tone. 

i’m choosing them now because i never, at any point, thought that we would end up where we are right now. i spend a lot of time, now, thinking about them - i can’t believe i never realised just how similar they were as people, and just how much possibility existed between them, because so much does, and every time we talk more about them, i come away with the feeling that this is a connection that’s like once in a lifetime esque, and i’m SO lucky that i’m writing it with you. you know ? you’re an incredibly talented writer who has four incredibly well thought out characters, and i love that i get to write with them all, because ALL of them are a treat to write with. i always wanna hear your thoughts, i always wanna hear your ideas and concepts, i always love the posts you send me and the things we joke about - almost as much as i love the things we don’t. that first night we realised what we had here came from utter meme and became something very very important to me. i’m always thinking about ‘he gives her a long look’. if you know you know, you know ? !  

006.   𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐀 𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐇𝐎𝐕  &  𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐅. ( @rcveuse )

saz, i know we’ve only gotten the one thread started so far, and they’re newer... but can i just say, i’m really really glad that you decided to come back to nox, and i’m even more glad that when you did you picked up those specific connections of mine, because they were some of my FAVORITE ones on the page & had never really gotten their dues ? the niko one in particular, that amelia is filling - i remember writing it because i wanted him to have moments of his life that were happy, and the best way i could think to showcase his emotional side was via someone he loved for real. i always said niko loved fiercely and was just as fiercely loyal, but i hadn’t gotten the chance to write it, because he’s a character so difficult to put into positions where he would. he takes a long time to fully bond to people. even after he does... he’s just. odd. it was a v important connection to me, and i love amelia so much, already, and can see exactly what existed in her that he fell for when he did. i’m so excited to write them more, and i can’t wait to see where the dynamic that exists now goes ! 

006.   𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐋𝐀 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐅  &  𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄. ( @taciiturns )

i love kaela. i know we know this. i know i’ve said it so many times, and i know i’m going to say it again, a million times more - but i really do love mikaela karkaroff, and i already had the niko connection, so i really shouldn’t have been greedy, but.... i didn’t imagine what’s come to exist between kaela & merry at ALL. it’s a very interesting dynamic built from very simple beginnings, and it’s become one of my most enduring merry connections - i think it made her more of a person, and i totally have you to thank for it. they’re such different people from such similar worlds, with such an interest in one another that i have such a difficult time explaining - IT WORKS, it so works, but it works in a way where i kinda have to admit i never even expected it, and i feel like i’m learning more and more about it with merry. that’s a very fun sort of connection to write when it’s with someone who loves their character as much as you do kaela, and i’m endlessly interested in where it’ll go ! 

[jackedspicer]

a bio for my xiaolinsona! she’s a work in progress so i’m bound to come back and change it. trivia and more in depth information is under the readmore :)

continued trivia:

she’d show up somewhere near the start of season 4

she’s used a LOT for slapstick. in fact she’s mostly a comic relief character

she’s guided mainly by emotions, is right brain oriented, and is a hands-on learner

there is a running gag where she frequently has bandaids on her fingers, hands, arms, or anywhere really

she’s a massive funk junkie. LOVES disco. she’s also a great dancer

when she comes up with xiaolin showdowns, sometimes she’ll base it off of fun recreational activities or things that seem harmlessly mundane, like mini golf..... tic tac toe.....dance-off...... rock paper scissors..... the showdowns themselves obviously end up being high-stakes and lethal as they always are, except they’re based off of goofy premises

she’s probably musically accented by grunge that’s slightly funky

when it’s funny, she occasionally will use huge words or make jarringly philosophical statements, eg patrick star’s “the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma” cut to footage of milk spilling

shes a lot like charlie kelly. in general. any charlie moment is just. Her. she’s a wild card and screams every line and huffs glue and tries to get the honey out of a hornets nest outside of jacks house because she thinks hornets make honey and she likes ghouls and she genocides the rats in his basement and sleeps ass to ass with him and is illiterate

she likes to do arts and crafts but they almost always come out as abominations. she’ll occasionally borrow some of jack’s tools to construct her latest atrocity, and she’ll refer to them by a wrong/made up name while she’s at it. “the hacksaw duey”, “the electric hole puncher,” ”the automatic pizza cutter”, etc. yes the projects and the bandaids have a direct cause and effect relationship. please refer to this video (and this channel in general)

imagine her sitting at a table and just doing this in jack’s lair... this video alone can be used to sum up so much of her. the technique. the bandaids. the blatantly wrong information that’s said with such conviction. the dark turn towards the end of the video. “superfluous protrusion.” the way it ends

continued trivia pt. 2, taken from my instagram

(i’ll get into this more further down the post)

fighting style because this is xiaolin showdown:

she has a very nimble, disorienting style of combat. using pokemon stats as an analogy, her highest would be speed by far, followed by attack, with her lowest stats being defense and special attack. this combined with her unrelenting nature makes her an excellent distraction and a general nuisance, but she doesn’t fare well in prolonged head to head battle.

favorite shen gong wu: 

monkey staff, mikado arms, fancy feet, neptune helmet, hoduko mouse, woozy shooter (on herself), tongue of saiping, longi kite, indigo pyramid (on jack (cause it’s funny))

*the shen gong wu she’s most skilled with in battle are ones that trip up her opponents and cause status ailments. kinda like a prankster

backstory/analysis:

at her core, she’s a jolly, optimistic, humorous person, but her unruly, isolating childhood put a blow on her psyche. much like jack spicer, she’s been virtually alone her entire life - she was rejected by peers and adult figures alike since earliest childhood, and her home life was turbulent at best.

to ease the pain, at some point, she took on resenting and judging those around her as a means to cope. she has a holden caulfield-esque defense mechanism in play where if everybody sucks for this reason, or that reason, or those reasons, then she has justification for detaching herself from others, and she can derive her only source of self esteem from being better than them. this hurts far less than the devastating truth that she cannot connect with people on account of feeling so worthless and estranged from other human beings that she could never have the chance to be cared about by anyone. deep down, she’s in desperate, thrashing need of support and genuine human connection, and she has a warped perception of how she can achieve that.

she’s taken up evil as a hobby because it nurtures her desire to be destructive and, again, just like jack spicer, she engages in it as a way to feel seen. all press is good press, and the best way to make the headline is to cause some damage. what sets her apart from him in this regard, though, is that she takes all of her pain out on her enemies (in this case, the xiaolin monks) because she can’t stand how well off they are - instead, on the basis of their acceptance of one another, she sees them as goody two-shoes phonies who ought to be knocked down a peg. while evil to jack is both a means of getting much needed attention and a convoluted way of spending time with friends, to sid it’s a way to vent frustrations and a way to, well... still garner attention, but also spend time with a friend, except the friend is jack.

the other half of the reason she partakes in petty villainy is that it’s just... fun. she only got wrapped up in all this because she’d been restlessly putzing around somewhere remote, found a neat doohicky she planned on keeping, and when one thing led to another she wound up in a xiaolin showdown against jack. experiencing the chaos unfold revealed a golden opportunity she couldn’t pass up, so she asked jack to let her come with, debuting their partnership (i talk about this in further detail at the end of the post). goofing off and doing evil with him is so much fun to her! it makes her feel alive, a sensation and state of mind she never could fully achieve before.

noteworthy relationships:

jack: 

they have a team rocket thing going on. not in terms of their interpersonal dynamic, but rather their role in the story, how much of a threat they pose as, their schemes, and even their overall attitude are reminiscent of the iconic duo; they’re petty, recurring villains with hearts of gold who aren’t above occasionally siding with the good guys.

even though they both are on the same tier of comic relief and general foolishness, the metaphor i like to draw is that jack is the left brain and sid is the right brain.

their personalities have such chemistry and they’re both so goofy that they effortlessly sync up. everyone thinks it’s REALLY annoying

they’re best friends! they actually care very deeply for one another, even if they might have funny ways of showing it. they may be evil, but they’re mutually the only and closest friend the other has ever had, and with that carries a lot of weight. think of it - the first person you meet who hasn’t been nothing but awful to you likes you and wants to be around you. What a concept

while their relationship is platonic, there are several gags implying a romantic element, even though nothing is ever outright stated. kisses on the cheek, bashfulness, other characters making fun of them (“where’s your DUMB little girlfriend?” “..........she’s not DUMB!!!!!”), domestic references (“am i sleeping on the couch”)..... it’s left ambiguous because it’s hetbait plain and simple. somebody asks them what they even are and they say Partners In Crime wym. jack asks sid What Are We and she fist pumps the flat of her own chest twice, throws a peace sign and says We’re Bros

their nicknames for each other include but are not limited to “jackass, jacky-boy, jack-o-lantern, smarty pants, wiggles, spack jicer, spack, mr spack, spackle”, and “shortstack, pipsqueak, sid the kid, champ, funky monkey, foxy (in a funny way, he’ll say it like Whatcha Up To Foxy ? while she’s like making a mess doing an arts & crafts abomination or just vibing bein her weird lil self....  it comes from a place of playful sarcasm and affection) (champ, funky monkey, and foxy are courtesy of @currentlyfallingthroughspace)

to piggyback off of the left brain vs. right brain metaphor, “heart vs. brain is how they think, right brain vs. left brain is how they act, and two halves of a heart represents their natural dispositions” is how my aforementioned friend put it. they both have a lot of heart and are ooey gooey on the inside, but the difference is that sid can grasp the intricacies of emotional/psychological matters while jack can’t (actually knowing how to EXPRESS this is another topic). it’s in the same way that jack can effectively plan ahead, use logical reasoning, and know where to go and how to get there, but sid is shabby in this department. “one is aware but doesn’t address it until it’s too late, and one can’t see it and doesn’t ask until it’s too late.”  

another feature of potential conflict in all incarnations of them is the juxtaposition of sid actually being more down to earth than jack in the grand scheme of things. jack has the potential to go completely overboard, and whether or not he demonstrates the ability to catch himself on the event horizon will ascertain the outcome.

deep down, neither of them are truly evil, and they bring this out in each other as they ultimately contribute to the redemption of one another. how this actually happens is a lot rockier. sid has the intuition and self awareness to become increasingly cognizant of the fact that she engages in schemes as a way to bond with her friend, and, over time, she’s able to recognize that she’s simply been acting out, and she consequently softens up over time - but jack is much denser in this regard. he doesn’t consciously pick up on the same things she does and still believes that she’s drinking the koolaid as much as he is. the crucial dissonance in what matters most that had been incubating under the weight of things left unsaid emerges in a major falling out that challenges the nature of their entire dynamic and respective moral codes. i had a lot of help from the same friend with the following series of events and it’s really something that ought to be gone into detail on its own post, but a whirlwind brief summary is that jack becomes desperate from losing over and over so he comes up with this sinister plan that’s just too far, sid tells him to stop, they get into a nasty fight, sid leaves and makes it clear she’s not coming back, she goes to the xiaolin dragons for help, jack goes on an evil rampage but also loses his grip and has this mental breakdown because he lost the one person who’s ever cared about him (or so he thought), sid has the same brutal separation pangs but it doesn’t change the fact that jack is still doing what he’s doing, sid gets a firsthand view of a fight breaking out between the monks while she’s working with them and has a moment of clarity when she observes how they resolve it in such a healthy way, as they continue to work together and help her through the whole fiasco she realizes they’re not so bad, an entire excruciating series of events that’s genuinely too large to fit on this post unfolds and it ultimately ends with jack actually having to team UP with the good guys to stop what he started, and it ends with them breaking down, apologizing, and beginning their redemption BUT not without the illustration of several lessons that arose out of the complications of the entire thing...... the overarching lesson that’d been entrenched in their entire dynamic from the start, albeit corny, is that caring and being cared for was all they ever needed, and they learn to cultivate that within each other right under their own noses. it would be fun to have them stay as recurring villains forever, but seeing how much good is in their hearts is enough to make you wonder how they were ever evil.

xiaolin monks:

she thinks she hates them, but she doesn’t really. while her opinion of them is marked by resentment and distaste, she also holds them in high regard. a part of her wishes she could be friends with them, but the mental landscape she’s paved for herself doesn’t reveal that as an option. in her mind, she’s already been rejected by them. so why try?

the way she takes her pain out on them - people who had nothing to do with her traumas - can be summed up by the spinel su quote, “why do i want to hurt you so bad? i’m supposed to be a friend. i just want to be a friend.”

she gets chummier with them upon her redemption. out of the group, she gets along best with clay and dojo :) 

bonus origin episode

this would be the imaginary early season 4 episode i mentioned at the beginning of the post. it’s more of a loose string of ideas tied together with reckless abandon but hey. the episode would open with jack feeling lonely and down on his luck to establish the theme that he kinda needs a friend (”wuya’s gone, chase trained his cats to get surly with me if i show up, my evil dream team won’t answer my calls....”). his sulking is interrupted by a shen gong wu alert and he’s like. whatever. i don’t need them. i’m still gonna do this on my own. even if it’s. ˡᵒⁿᵉˡʸ. fastforward to the scene i described where sid is putzing around with her doohicky (which i’m considering might be the neptune helmet) all by her sad miserable lonesome when suddenly some flying bloke in a trenchcoat who looks like he hasn’t seen the sun in years shows up telling her she’s got something he needs. she of course responds with something along the lines of “you know what? why don’t you try to take it from me since you want it so bad, mr big stuff,” triggering a xiaolin showdown. this is around the time the xiaolin dragons show up too late - but they’re grateful for somebody having been there to fight jack in time, even if they have no idea who they are. she has no clue what’s going on, but whatever it is, she LOVES it. she goes buckwild. she has a time. jack, on the other hand.... well, understanding how badly he needs that wu is certainly throwing a wrench in it, but he can’t help but feel like he’s having a bit of fun too. well, up until he loses. post-showdown, the monks kinda count their chickens before they hatch so to speak and they rush over to this new kid with a shower of praise, thinking they have a friend on their side. instead, she cuts them off, shouts to the guy who’s gathering his bearings (or lack thereof) - “hey! jack was it?” - and playfully tosses her shen gong wu in the air, catching it. “you look like you need this thing way more than i do. tell you what! take me with and i’ll let you borrow it,” is what she follows it up with, implying she wasn’t really that invested and only saw the whole thing as a fun game. jack and the monks are flabbergasted. what’s more bizarre is she did in fact ask to join him, something nobody’s ever done out of their own volition before. she talks about how boooooooooooring it is here and how that was soooooo much fun and to pleeeeeeeease take her with. he’s really iffy about it and doesn’t know if it’s such a good idea. he tries to make himself look cool, telling her “as IF, shortstack..........im afraid The Jack Rides Alone................................................. but-” and ultimately buckling because he can’t deny that it would be nice to have someone around.

[life-b4-death]

Thoughts on Rhythm of War:

(Will contain spoilers as these are my thoughts that I wish I could share with people as I'm reading)

Part 1

Navani's POV reminds me of my mom and I love her

Gavilar is a dick holy shit man

Imma need someone to draw that scene from the end of chapter one of it hasn't already been done. You know the one, where Lirin first sees Kaladin in Hearthstone. Yeaaahh

The DID thing with Shallan is gonna be really interesting to read but I'm liking it so far

Chapter 7 header: you can riot and soothe spren inside a gemstone with zinc and brass. Interesting....

Ialai's notebook has names of other planets in the Cosmere. I wonder where that is gonna go 🤔🤔

Pewter and Tin affect spren too, but tin "diminishes nearby attributes", which is interesting 🧐 Pewter increases abilities in allomancy, ergo tin SHOULD increase the senses, so its interesting that it makes them lesser for spren. Hmm...UNLESS it's pulling the feruchemical ability and is storing the attributes? So it has to drain them for a time? Maybe that has something to do with the fabrial that took away Kaladin's powers in chapter 7?? What the fuck is going on Brandon

Hesina and Syl's banter is super cute

Part 2:

I have a working theory that Adolin will become a Stoneward (because I don't remember there being any stonewards mentioned yet) but we shall see

Someone draw Pattern hugging Adolin and Shallan. That was cute lol

Therapist Kaladin is not something I expected to see, but its nice

"Ha ha. Yes, [humans] bite. And break your oaths and murder your spren. Ha ha." Pattern is hilarious

These chapter headings are mentioning the different shards (? I'm assuming) and they mentioned Threnody and Scadrial. Hmm... The mystery deepens 🧐🤔

I have a feeling that the second half of this series is going to be some type of massive crossover, which would be awesome

Also, sinking feeling that the Fused and the singers are going to attack Urithiru while Kaladin & Teft are pretty much the only ones there to protect it. Which is bad because that one Fused is set on fighting and killing only Kaladin 😬

Well, they mentioned a stoneward finally, so maybe that's not Adolin's calling. I still feel like he might become some type of radiant tho, but it would be cool if he just stayed himself

Yo, ashspren look cool as fuck

I really, really, really want Adolin to help Maya return fully

No, you know what? I am CONVINCED that Adolin will become a stoneward (that badass fight scene? Amazing. And stonewards are the most dependable of the orders...hello?!!! Adolin to a T)

AND the only reason he's not yet is because he has bonded with Maya, but she's a deadeye and can't help him advance yet! (I'M CALLING IT NOW! MAKE MY BOY A STONEWARD I'M FUCKIN HYPED)

A summary of my feelings on the invasion at the tower: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

And Mraize? Capturing Lift?!!! Wtf!!

Part 3:

Finally, a Jasnah POV 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Wit saying that Sadeas is related to a cow lmaoooo 😂🤣 (I'm trying really hard to not laugh out loud at work)

Wit roasting that asshole highprince and then Jasnah stabbing the highprince in the neck?! Amazing, it will live in my brain rent free with her roasting of Amaram

Kal trapping the Pursuer in that room? Very smart, so proud of my boy

Mraize trying to make a deal with Raboniel...das not good

And giving her Lift, that's super not good

But Venli finally deciding to make progress! That's really good!

Tell me why I'm nervous for the Sibling and the tower when I still have 500 pages left haha

Jasnah changing the air to oil and then lighting it on fire?!!! OooHhOoOOO!! Very cool

The Ghostbloods are not a Rosharan organization?? What the hell is that supposed to mean Wit?!

Oohh Venli making progress with her powers! That was really cool I'm excited for her

OK SO...Kaladin almost died. Brandon. That's my emotional support Windrunner, you cannot kill him 😢😭

But Dalinar knows know that the tower is under seige! So that's good. That's good, right? Oh god I'm so nervous

Oh no Raboniel knew about the Sibling the whole time :(

Part 4

OooOOOHH! WHAT!!! THE RHYTHM OF WAR!!! Mixing the different Lights?! That's so cool This is fun! Let's go, you funky little scientists!!!

yO WHAT THE FUCK /VENLI/ HIRED SZETH TO KILL GAVILAR!!!!!? BECAUSE /NALE/ TOLD HER TOO??!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I literally have to stop reading to fully process that holy shit man I'm fuckin floored

A Herald as the high judge, how nice

Wit and his Cryptic 😂

Yay, Venli finally helped rescue Lift! Things are finally looking up (maybe?)

Can I just say that I love Dabbid with all my heart? ❤❤❤❤

And woohoo! Teft is awake! Hooray for Lift and Dabbid! They did a heroism 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

Voice of Lights, Navani Kholin!! 🙌🏼

I KNEW they were going to pull Maya as the final witness but OH MY GOD!!!! Adolin×Maya4ever

Oh no oh no oh no Raboniel is planning to use the Radiants as TESTING SUBJECTS???? This is so so so so bad

Part 5

Oh god I feel like Kaladin is going to die :(

Oooooohhhh nooooooo Teft's spren is going to die 😭

Oohh Teft 💔😭

Oh shit oh shit oh shit Kaladin is going to lose himself and become Odium's champion and Syl is going to die I don't like this story I'm scared

Except he CAN'T because Brandon said people wouldn't regret naming their kids after him so he has to swear the fourth ideal and kill Moash right? RIGHT? OH GOD SOMEONE TELL ME IM RIGHT

Also imma be fucking PISSED if Navani dies why are you putting me through this agony Brandon

AAAHHHHH!!!!! THE FOURTH IDEAL YES MUTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!

NAVANI!!!!!!!!!! A BONDSMITH!!!!!!! IM LIVING Y'ALL!!!!!!!!!!

KALADIN GOT HIS PLATE!!! AND HIS BRANDS ARE GOOOONNNNNEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thats a, uh, pretty heavy duel you've locked yourself into there Mr. Blackthorn

Truthwatcher Rlain! 😀😀😀

Fucking great, Cultivation PLANNED this??

Of course Wit has a seon 🙄 but how the hell did Mraize get one?

Is Thaidakar Lord of Scars....is that Kelsier???? Maybe...??

Do the Listeners?? Have a pet chasmfiend????

And Venli got her mom back!! Hooray!!!

And Eshonai got her freedom and explored the whole world 😭❤❤

Ah Shit, Wit. That did NOT go as you planned. That threw a wrench into everything that I expected to happen and I don't even know what Wit was doing 😬

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

What Do We Have?

Based on the word: Onsra: n., the bittersweet feeling that occurs in those who know their love won't last.

What happens when what you have with someone isn't quite what you wanted it to be?

***No one has my permission to repost this fic, including translation***

Reader Insert, No specific gender, race, or sexuality!

Is lovers to friends a trope? Because, I think I want it to be a trope.

Enjoy my masterlist

____________________________________________

Calum’s not sure when he first noticed it. It might’ve been somewhere between all the nights sitting out in his backyard as you both sip from sweating glasses and all the afternoons at your place where you’d show him some recipe you wanted to try and he agreed to be sous chef. Some of those dishes turned out better than others. But somewhere in between all that, Calum knows. Call it a self-fulfilling prophecy or call it intuition. After making his mistakes, having his wild youth, Calum was ready to set his life on cruise control and take the bumps and lumps but enjoy the ride. 

It was different for you. He saw that. You took every opportunity by the horns and if it blew up in your face, there was hell to pay for it. Every blue was more vibrant. Every spark shined ten times brighter. Calum would be a liar if he said he didn’t like that. If that didn’t tickle his fancy to see the passion in you. But it made him ponder. It made him wonder would you leave at the first hitch. Would you cut ties when he had to go? That’s the inevitable truth. He would have to leave eventually, with touring and promotion. 

“You’re thinking too much.”

Calum looks to his left, where you are curled up with Duke on your lap. The afternoon sun is just cresting its peak. It’s warm out, a breeze blowing through the privacy shrubbery every so often that helps the both of you forget that sweat is pooling down your backs and on your foreheads. “It’s not a crime to think.”

“But it might be a crime to think too much.”

“And what do you suggest that I do instead hm?” You had come over, just to hang out. Your latest binge together on Netflix had been fully consumed. The two of you sat on Calum’s couch scrolling endlessly through the suggestions but there wasn’t anything that caught either of your eyes. That’s when you suggested just taking a dip in the pool, or at least just stepping outside for some fresh air. 

Now, you grow restless. Wanting to do something, go somewhere, see something, taste something new. It doesn’t really matter the specifics. “The new arcade place just opened up near the mall. We can go there.”

Calum nods. There’s no shock that he feels at your suggestion. He sees the twinkle even behind the way you bite down on your lower lip. There it is, the insatiable urge to take on something. “The least I can do is kick your ass in skee ball since you took today off.”

Fixing Calum with a glare, you stand, Duke safely tucked in your arms. “You’re on, Hood.” 

He watches you, feet silent over the concrete as you saunter back into the house. His fingertips don’t ache like they used too. He should’ve run after you, tickled your sides, or pinched your ass and made you laugh. But instead, he sits, watches you go and wonders if he’s actually going to beat you or not. He wonders if his skills can handle his own trash talk. It wouldn’t hurt his pride if his skills were lackluster. 

In the car, he lets you control the radio. You fiddle for a moment before your phone connects and softly through his speaker he hears an old school funky bassline. You watch the cut of Calum’s jaw and the way he reclines into the driver seat. The sight makes your chest warm but you wonder if Calum really wants to go to the arcade. You worry he’s only going because you want to go, because you can’t sit still. Would he ever grow tired of you? Would he ever try to tie you down, make you into something that you weren’t? 

It would wear him thin eventually, you figured. He had a much slower pace that he liked to consume life at. You chalk it up to the fact that he’s life can be so jammed packed for months if not a year at a time with touring that when he can get a moment to relax, he savors it like children and ice cream before dinner. You didn’t truly think he would try to make you into something you’re not. Though the thought and worry never fully escapes you. It seems like no one would ever fully escape their fears, just enough to let the delusion settle in. Everyone would escape just enough to let their hair down and not look over their shoulder at every moment, just every once and awhile. 

In bright red and pink neon lights, Arcadeocity blinks in front of them. Calum pulls into a parking spot. It’s not terribly business given it’s the middle of the week and the summer hasn’t officially hit just yet. “Ready to get your ass kicked?” he teases, one hand guiding the seatbelt as it slides back against the inner frame. 

“The question is are you ready to pay for drinks after I kick your ass?”

“I was born ready.”

Inside, it’s dim and there are some kids running about. But it’s quiet. Calum heads to the counter, gathering the quarters. You look over, seeing the racing games, the ones where you sit and the ones with the bikes. A machine goes off, lots of buzzing and high zings. You look over to see one of the machines lighting up, the conditioned response for any winner. Two small boys are cheering, arms raising above their heads as the machine spits out the tickets in return. 

There are tables off to the sides, for parents to sit, sip at their drinks and pray their children can keep occupied enough to not worry them for a small blimp of time. Though their gazes never leave their children for too long. One mother raises her hand, calling out the child’s name. “You’re going too far.”

“Oh, it’s not going to hurt them,” the father counters. “You remember the code right?” he calls outs. 

You spot the small child, dressed in blue overalls and high top sneakers. “I remember Dad.” They’re no older than eight or so, you figure. 

He waves them on. “Go head. Just make sure to check in after every game, alright?” 

The child nods, a grin on their face. “Thanks, Dad!” 

“Should we work our way up to the main event?” Calum asks, rejoining you now. His pockets jiggle a little. 

You turn your attention to him, thinking for the slightest moment that Calum would be that kind of dad, if he ever wanted to be. That would let his kid go and be free. But the second they needed him he’d swoop in. That’s what he did. Calum kind of swooped in it seemed to be his MO especially since that’s how the two of you met. You’d be lying if you said otherwise. You hadn’t even seen him in the aisle, preoccupied with trying to avoid the kids that had just cut the corner. You stumbled, managing to avoid them and right when you thought you’d wind up smacking into the shelves holding up rice and pasta, strong arms wound around your arm to keep your balance. 

“Racing game first?”

He nods. The dimness cut by the lights and glitz of the games, his eyes look like blackholes. Or maybe more like tunnels with a light at the end of them with the shiny reflection right in the middle of his pupil. 

Calum wins the first race and nearly beats you for third in the second race. As you both slip off the motorcycles, you collect the tickets from your machines. “I’m better with four wheels,” you laugh.

With a thumb over his shoulder, he grins. “I’ve got a pocket full of change. Prove it, sweets.”

You do. Pulling ahead of Calum in both races. You come in third while he comes in fifth in the first. You manage a dirty fourth place, leaving Calum in seventh. It shouldn’t have been fourth but somehow you landed on a shortcut that saved you from eighth up to fifth. It was a fight for fourth but you managed it as you downshifted into fifth gear in the game and took the straightaway with ease.  

“What the actual hell?” Calum laughs, after seeing you actually using the clutch and stick shift. “I didn’t think any of that actually mattered?”

“Dad taught me how to drive stick shift and now it’s just a habit now, I guess.” 

It’s with a click of his tongue that Calum nods but admits his defeat. The both of you are observing, wondering where to go next. He asks you, if there’s anything that interests you. You could spend hours here, playing every game in sight. But you let him choose. You let him set the pace. Maybe it’s in the hopes that you can keep hold onto Calum for just a little bit longer. “You wanted to come here. I’m sure you’re dying to play something,” he concedes. 

“Let’s shoot some hoops,” you suggest. 

“You don’t--you sure?” It’s a silent nod and a gentle grasp of his wrist before you lead him to the basketball hoops. You two don’t even need to make it a competition. Just for fun. Just something to laugh while you do, attempting to throw him off his rhythm by flattering but never being successful. In the end, you don’t read the red numbers at the screen, just take the tickets it does give you. 

“Skee ball?” he asks, folding his tickets. It seems to go on forever, the end hitting the floor and somehow crawling over it too just a little. 

“Sure. If you’re ready to cry of course.”

Calum’s ears are full of the sounds of the game, taunting them, praising them, lighting up and shouting at every ball that sinks into a hole. But right below that is your laughter, your shriek, “You’re supposed to let me win!”

He has no rebuttal, just a feeling. Something like amusement and a tiny bit of guilt. Like maybe he should be more mindful, like maybe he should be toying more carefully. But at the same time, his chest flutters, when you shove at his shoulder and let out an indignant squawk that turns up into a laugh. He won by 100 points. “Round two?”

“Of fucking course,” you huff. Calum drops the quarters into your upturn palm and you guys feed them into their slots simultaneously. He wins again. 75 points as the lead, which stings less, but still. “It’s just an off day,” you say. There’s a smirk on your face and you can accept the defeat but not without a little bit of stink about it. 

Over the course of an hour, you two play more games, stopping for a quick snack break. At the end, you go up to the counter first, Calum excusing himself for a moment to the restroom. There’s a small stuffed dog hanging on the second most top shelf. His ticket cost is high but after some successful rounds on the racetrack, you manage to squeak just enough to get him.  When Calum returns, you’re standing with your arms behind your back. “You hiding something.” It’s more of a question but it comes out factual. 

“Me? No, never.”

He laughs. At the counter, Calum looks over the possibilities. Part of him knows he should go the extravagant route. He’s done it before, with the stuffed animals and big ticket items. But he spies some alien trinkets instead and grabs two for you. He still has a stack left, so he grabs the small bean bag toy in the shape of a soccer ball. “You’ve still got quite the haul left,” the attendant states. 

“Save ‘em for the next kid.”

“If you’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. They’ll need them more than me.” Before Calum can reach you, you hold the stuff toy in front of your chest. “Very cute.”

“For you.” 

His brow twitches, pulling down like he can’t quite believe it. “Me?”

“Yeah, you.” You urge him to take it and swallow down the urge to tell him he can give it to Duke. You want him to know it’s for him. No matter what. You did it for him. 

“Thank you.” Almost sheepishly he exchanges the stuffed toy for alien trinkets. One’s a keychain and you smile. “Perfect for the collection?”

“Of course.” It is perfect. It’s thoughtful. And part of you wants to kick yourself for not getting the inflatable soccer ball, or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Because clearly those are more Calum, those are more thoughtful than just a stuffed animal. Calum makes a show though, buckling the dog into the backseat, after shifting the towel that Duke usually rests on and maybe, it’s not such a bad gift after all. 

It’s in the car as Calum ponders aloud choices for dinner that you asked to be taken back to your place. You do have an early morning and Calum doesn’t think too much of it. It’s not until that gets back home and settles the stuffed dog onto his bed that he remembers the recipe the both of you were going to try. He had gone to the grocery store and everything. It feels wrong to try it without you. He can’t let it go to waste though. 

I’m going to drop you off a plate. That’s the text from him not even ten minutes after he drops you off. You remember all at once the dinner plans. How could you have forgotten that? Truth be told, you had fun. Arcadeocity scratched that itch to get out. But you didn’t want to intrude too much on Calum’s free time. Which, when the hell did that start being a concern? Calum was pretty direct and honest if he needed time to himself. 

Maybe it was just a time thing. You were starting to understand Calum more and even though he would be vocal about needing space, you knew how much he valued it. And you valued your own space too. Truth be told, you were starting to want more of it. Or maybe it was more time to do whatever by yourself. Or maybe the reason really didn’t matter because now, sitting on your own couch, you feel a little less like you’ve been stuffed into a box. 

Calum arrives at your door with a reusable bag full. “I just made the whole recipe and split it in half. You can take it into work tomorrow.”

“Thanks.” 

It’s a quick brush, his lips pressing into the flesh of your forehead. “Of course.” 

___________________

Of course that feeling comes back. When Calum calls and hears the rattle of music in the background, he knows you’re out. It’s the second weekend in a row you’ve walked out on the town. The second weekend in the row you’ve made those plans without really consulting Calum, just going. Not that you thought you’d be out again. But when your coworker mentioned wanting to go out, you didn’t want the opportunity to pass you by. Letting Calum didn’t quite cross your mind either. 

Part of Calum feels like he should be fighting more against that, fighting to maybe get more time. But he doesn’t. “Have fun. Let me know if you need a ride,” he says, unsure if he needs to shout to be heard over the receiver. 

“Okay, will do!” The call ends and he drops into his sofa. Part of him is relieved, strangely. He doesn’t have to worry about having to do something. He doesn’t have to muster up the energy. He had it. If you weren’t out and about, he wouldn’t have minded doing something but he’d rather sit at home. 

Was he wrong for that? Was it wrong to thank the high heavens you had already preoccupied yourself without him?  Was it wrong to know something wasn’t going to make it all the way to the end but just wanting to take the ride while it was still offered? He enjoys his time with you. He enjoys the laughs and the crazy adventures. But god, did he like doing nothing too. There was nothing wrong with that. Right?

His phone shakes again, later in the night with a text from you. Made it home safely. Am buzzed and I should never wear clothes with buttons ever again when drinking. 

He calls in response. “What happened with said buttons?”

“Fly was open,” you sigh in return, sinking into your own mattress. “Embarrassing.” His giggles cut through the slight fog of alcohol. “Don’t laugh.”

“Sorry, that’s a laughable offense, sweets.”

“Humph!” 

“Need me to come over?”

“Nah, not that drunk. Have-have you got no faith in me?”

“No, I have all the faith in you. Drink some water, okay?” You hum in your agreement, mumbling a good night to him. 

______________

“How long’s the tour?”

“Just shy of seven months. There are breaks, of course.”

You nod. “Of course.” They needed them for their own sanity and health. “I’ll watch Duke. You know I don’t mind.” He hasn’t asked. And Calum doesn’t really need to ask. You’ve always taken the chance to watch over the old man when Calum’s gone. You think you should’ve noticed Calum’s stubble before now. It’s not quite stubble really any more, on the cusp of being the start to a true beard. He usually doesn’t let it get this long. 

How long has it been? You’ve texted and called. But somehow in the catalog of your mind you can’t place the last time you saw him in person for longer than a few minutes. It doesn’t feel wrong, in the sense that you’re worried that things are falling apart. But it is strange. It’s almost like air between you--something that you know is there but can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s somehow distance but not distant. The strange new normal the two of you have created. And you want to be sad. It’s a strange guilt to see now more than ever what’s been expanding between the two of you, but not being upset that it’s happening. 

“I scheduled his appointments already,” Calum says, sliding a couple sheets of paper over to you. “Well, the major ones. I know your summer schedule’s a little different so I tried to keep that in mind too. Thanks again.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” 

Calum’s sure this will be the start of the end. And you are too. But that doesn’t stop you from messaging him just shy of three weeks from the start of the tour. Rehearsals are getting longer and more tiresome. His answers to text and calls are coming later in the night.  I’m dropping off a plate for you.  You send it on your lunch break, hoping that by the time you get off, Calum’s replied. 

And he has: Only if it’s not too much of a bother. Thankyou. 

It’s not long after returning home that you’re back in your car, Calum’s food resting on the floor to keep it from tipping over. At the gate, you worry it’ll take you too long to reach Calum to get inside, but thankfully, Luke and Michael are just ahead of you and let you in. The three of you wander back into the studio space. Michael explains at length the mechanics of a game to Luke. You’re not sure if he’s convincing the taller man, but Luke takes in each detail with a thoughtful face. 

“Please tell me you’re teaching any of this,” Luke teases, glancing at you.

“Dude, I’m just dropping off food. I’ve got nothing.” 

He laughs but agrees ultimately to give a test to Michael’s latest video game obsession. As the door to the space opens, you can’t help but let the soft smile crest your face at Calum’s stretched out figure on the floor. You’re not sure if he’s sleeping, but you know from experience if he gets too relaxed in any position anywhere he can and will fall asleep. “It would be such a shame,” you start, voice bouncing off the walls. Calum cracks a smile even though his eyes are still closed. “If this bowl of pad see ew just happened to take a bad stumble. 

“You wouldn’t dare,” he calls out from the floor. He’s slow to look up at you. But when he does, it’s a long gander. You’re still in your work clothes, though the shoes tell him you definitely did go home first. 

“Home cooked,” you offer, lifting the glass container and setting it on the table where Luke, Ashton, and Michael have gathered. 

“Really, thanks. It means a lot.” 

“Of course.”

Calum thinks about that phrase for long after you’re gone and long after he’s consumed the sweet and yet savory noodles. Like, of course--like you wouldn’t be doing anything else but helping him out majorly. Of course, you’d go from a crazy day at work to fixing him dinner. Like of course he shouldn’t have to worry constantly. Like of course this is normal. And it is normal, in some ways. But it’s not normal in others. It’s not normal, he thinks, to go weeks without seeing you and not feeling a super deep ache. There was the missing he felt when he wanted to see his mum, or his sister. But they had always kind of been away from him, ever since he moved out. Calum did miss you, but it never fully consumed him. Never made him mope, or be too down. Or maybe it was normal? Maybe it showed how much the two of you were secure with each other. 

____________________

Did you want to spend a few days together? Rehearsals are pretty much done. I know you’re still working though. 

Calum can’t seem to hit send. 

That last sentence is his out. It’s a way for you to say no without having to feel like an asshole. He knows that. He knows you’ll know that the second you read the text. But he can’t bring himself to delete it. 

With a swift kick of boldness, Calum taps the up arrow. The text lifts and then settles and Delivered sits right underneath the blue text in gray. It’s only an extra ten minutes from your place to work. I don’t mind. 

Most mornings, of the four that you spend with Calum right before the shuttle bus comes to get him, he whines as your alarm goes off. “You can spare five more minutes,” he mumbles into his pillow, one arm raised, not fully like the limbs much too heavy for his body to carry. And at this time in the morning, half past 6, it probably is too heavy to carry. 

“Only five,” you laugh before sliding back into bed, but not under the covers. 

Calum always curls back up into your side, arm thrown across your torso. “Can’t believe you’d leave this nice, warm bed.” 

He almost never mentions leaving him. He doesn't mention leaving you. It’s always the nice, warm bed you’d be leaving, that he’d be leaving. This nestle of comfort and known territory being the only thing tying the two of you together. 

You have to stop yourself from saying it’s just a bed. That any old bed can be nice and warm. Because it always could be any old bed that can be nice and warm. But do you want any old bed or do you want Calum’s? Do you want somebody else? Do you want to fly across skies? Or do you want Calum? 

“It is a nice, warm bed,” you say instead. It’s an agreement that whatever it is between you is nice. Though, you’re not convinced it’ll last. 

The first week of Calum on tour turns into a second. That second one turns into a third. And by the third week rolls around, the most your phone buzzes or chimes with anything related to Calum is a quick picture attached with a few lines about what’s going on in his world. You’re not even sure besides keeping him updated on Duke when you’ve talked about your life if you told Calum about the impromptu trip to Vegas. Or if you told him about your promotion at work. 

Somehow all of that just seems so mundane and so not the thing he’d care to hear about until he calls. It’s an early morning for you. “I see your end of the globe hasn’t gone up in flames yet.”

You shake your head with a tuft of laughter. “No, it’s still thriving. Just adjusting to this new job.”

“You quit your old one? Do you need anything to tide you over?”

“No, no, just a new position.” You almost start to say that you had to have told him. But if he’s asking, if he’s concerned, then you must have forgotten.

“Tell me about it.” 

“My job is not exciting,” you call out, grabbing your clothes from inside the closet. 

“Doesn’t matter. Bore me with the details.” You do. Enough so that, when you’re finally dressed and sitting down to eat breakfast, you can see him with his eyes drooping. “Bored him literally to sleep,” you laugh. 

“I am not asleep,” he responds with a sleepy mumble. 

“Sure you’re not.”

A month into the tour, Calum works it to have you flown out. Calum’s greet you in the car from the airport, the two of you laughing, falling into each other’s side, but ultimately always shifting back into place, resting into the back of the seat instead of each other. Calum’s not phased, not when you run ahead up to the historic hotel. He’s not phased when you run ahead of him at the museums are long the streets during your visit. But he knows it’s killing you. When the bands backstage, and you stare out of the windows, he knows it’s killing you not to get out there. Not to see the country, the cities, the people. 

“Tomorrow we can go adventuring,” he tells you, leaning up against the wall as you’ve curled yourself up into the window sill. 

“You’ve got another show tomorrow.”

He just winks at you, leaning forward to kiss the top of your head. And then he’s gone, back to the sofa, laughing as someone shows him something on their phone. The guys fall instantly back into their chaos. You watch, knowing you could fall into it too. You know their antics and their sense of humor. But yet, you sit in the window sill. You watch the birds fly pass. You watch people wander. You hear the slight cry of fans waiting for them and you know this isn’t really meant for you. 

This isn’t something that would saitatee you in the long run. 

You find out later after the show and he’s had a chance for a quick shower, that in the wee hours of the morning, just eeking pass one, Calum and you wander through nightlife. Arm in arm, you meander down streets, up city blocks, stopping at storefronts just to oogle over their displays. The skies are a little clearer. You can stop, leaning up against some random fence to watch the stars for a little it.

“It’s weird to think that I’m watching some stars last breathe. Like we’re so close, but so far away from the heavens. And they really just go on forever,” you whisper. 

Calum hums, sliding his hands into the pocket of the hoodie draped over your body. His fingers wrap around yours in the pocket. “But it’s almost like they are giving us their last wish, maybe. Giving us one last guiding light.”

 It’s almost four am when you find yourselves back at the front doors of the hotel. You’re laughing at Calum’s slurred speech due to drowsiness. He’s going to regret this in the morning maybe and you can only hope that there’s a pot of coffee big enough to help. His slumber is heavy next to you. Your brain is wired. You can feel it buzzing in your fingertips. How do you tell Calum that you don’t want to lose him but maybe the romanticism between the two of you isn’t there anymore? Was it ever really there to begin with?

With three days left on this trip, you don’t say anything at first. How do you even verbalize that? What are the right words? You don’t sleep that night either. When Calum reaches out for you, his arm feels like hot steel. Like it’s burning you for feeling any different. On the second night, you slip further into the seats in the back of the bus--there’s no stopping at a hotel this time--, your blanket pulled up to your chin, nothing plays on the TV in front of you. You know you can’t avoid him. Not at a time like this. But you’re still not sure if you can mention is just yet, if you have the nerves to do it. 

The door slides open and Calum is there, leaning against the faux frame and his body moves with ease at the jostle of the bus. “Mind if I pop a seat next to you?”

“Of course not.” It’s an automatic reply. And really you don’t mind. But you can tell by the way he nods, biting his lips and settles next to you but not into you that he’s aware of something too. But you’re aware now you can’t duck out of this conversation. There’s no turning back now. 

“You say ‘of course’ a lot, you know?”

“Something tells me that now isn’t the right time to say ‘of course, I know’ so I’ll refrain from using it.” 

His laughter is a quick exhalation, facing the blank screen too. “Are you--” he starts and then stops. He fiddles with his thumb nail for a second and then turns, bringing one leg up under the other and his hoodie cladded arm rests on the back of the sofa. “If it’s not--I’m not sure if our relationship is what it was before.”

You exhale. Your shoulders straighten under the blanket and you shift, sitting to face Calum more. There’s no sadness. Not even the clench of his jaw which he does when he’s trying to hold something back, when he doesn’t want to say what’s fully on his mind. “I-I don’t think so either.”

He gives a thoughtful nod, resting a hand on your leg, over the fuzzy black fabric. “And it’s not that I don’t have love for you. Nothing has happened, like nothing you did or said, or anything bad but.”

“It’s just different between us.”  Different doesn’t feel quite whole, so you unfurl finally from the mass and out of habit, pick at the fuzz on the end of his sleeves. “Well, more like, I’ve realized maybe what we wanted wasn’t what we needed? If that makes sense?”

“It makes sense.” Calum watches your fingers, pinching and rolling at the small balls of cotton. “I-I won’t mind if you stay or go. I’d like you to stay. There’s the museum you always wanted to go to in our next city, but if it’s too weird or anything, I totally understand.”

You shake your head, gaze lifting to his. He’s still chewing over his lip but he looks mostly calm. The nerves are obvious but this conversation is going better than you could’ve anticipated. “I don’t feel pressured to leave at all. I just, do you need space? If you need me to go, I’ll take the next flight out. You’ve got a job to do and I don’t want you to be in a weird headspace with me around. And I would hate--,”

He cuts you off with a squeeze of your hand. “You’re rambling. And no, I don’t want you to leave. I haven’t properly seen you in a few weeks. I still really enjoy your company. But it’s just, not like before, you know. Besides, you still owe drinks from when I kicked your ass in skee ball.”

His grin is small at first but it grows when you flap, releasing your hand from his hold and fold your arms across your chest. “The way I remember it, you would owe drinks if I beat you. Not that I owed drinks for losing.” 

When Calum giggles, you have to laugh. In all the previous breakups, you know laughing immediately after shouldn’t be happening. But everything’s different with Calum. All along the two of you were shifting, settling into the version of the bond you needed with each other, not necessarily the prescribed one from society, or the one that you wanted. 

“Would you be, like, upset if I took a separate bunk?” you asks. 

“Of course not,” Calum returns with a grin. 

Honestly, you feel relieved waking up the next day, for the most part. It should be awkward, but there’s something between you and Calum. There’s something you both get about each other that even in the face of change this bond doesn’t feel broken. It feels mended, finally and completely free too. No guilts, no second thoughts and what you should be doing or what you think Calum expects of you. 

It definitely carries a small sting. There’s no lying, a small bit of your routine and your normal is now gone and that worries you for when you go back home. Like, is it still acceptable that you steal his Santa Cruz hoodie? And when Calum catches your gaze from the otherside of the dressing room, he wonders if he can still kiss your forehead, still hold your hand? Or is that crossing the line? He airs on the side of caution for now, just smiles at you and you smile in return. 

Just before leaving, you fold his hoodie up, placing it on his bunk next to the not fully folded blanket that reveals his iPad. 

When Calum goes to his bunk he sees the hoodie. His heart drops, he won’t lie. When he picks it up, it feels heavy. Not physically, but he kinda wanted you to keep it. Something crinkles. He unfurls it. Nothing falls out but he can hear something. So he continues until he finds the hoodie pocket. 

I know, I know. I wanted to give you this back. Just for the moment. We’re still good like we said before. But I know it’s your favorite right behind the Empathy one. Kick ass on stage. Rock out. 

Calum smiles, neatly folding the note and slips into his bag that he takes into the venues. When the months slip by, show after show mildly interrupted with Duke updates and occasionally things about yourself, Calum finally finds himself able to sit on his own couch. Kick his feet up on his own coffee table. He’s able to decompress. He decompresses enough to fall asleep. A knock at the door jolts him awake. Wiping at the corner of his eyes and his mouth, he jumps from his couch. 

“You were totally asleep,” you grin when the door swings open. 

“Was not,” he retorts. Duke bars from below, jumping at Calum’s leg. “Oh, bubba. How are you?” 

“Good, just missed his pops.” 

Collecting Duke into his arms, Calum stands. “How are you? How’s life?”

“I’m good. Life’s good.” You lift the bag on your arm. “I brought you a plate. Or maybe like four.”

“You--you didn’t have to,” Calum returns. “But of course you did anyway.”

“Of course I did,” you laugh. “Mind if I come in? You can just love on Duke. I’ll reheat the spaghetti.”

He nods, allowing you inside. It’s much more than a plate as you unload the dish and a few other sides. It’s enough for him to eat dinner for a week almost. You always fixed more than he could ever eat. “How’s the move going?” The last time the two of you talked you mentioned needing a new place. Something a little bit bigger to accommodate your needs and the potential of housing your own dog or cat. You’re not entirely sure right now.  

“It’s going slow. But it’s going. Trying to sort out what to toss.”

“I can help, if you want.” Calum watches as you set the plate down in front of him. “Be the voice of reason when you know you really should toss the thing, but can’t do it without a nudge.”

“Or be the nagging voice that tells me to keep it. You know how this goes.”

Calum nods, setting Duke in the seat. “I know.”

“What are you doing? Sit. Eat.”

Two scoops of spaghetti or heaped onto a second plate. You manage to keep Duke away from Calum’s food. The plate hits the table with a muted thud. “If it’s not too much too soon, eat with me? ”

“Of course.” 

“There it is again,” he laughs. 

“What? I’ll leave. Don’t think I won’t.”

“Whoa, slow down. Eat. Then you can huff and puff and blow my house down.”

With a click of your tongue, fork posed in hand, you watch Calum return to his seat. Duke in his lap, just like you knew would happen. “That sounds like a good idea.”

[listless-brainrot]

jet lives au but make it jetru (pt 3)

so for this, considering that the next ep logically would be tales of ba sing se, and keeping this in mind, i think this would essentially replace aang’s tale (i’m sorry you funky little monk boy i still love you) which i don’t want to do but i’m writing this with this in mind

so may i present to you

the tale of jet 

(tw for descriptions of manipulation, this arc is messed up and i won’t mince words about it) (this is also one of the longer ones just because it’s specifically jet-centric)

pt 1 can be read here!

pt 2 can be read here!

-takes place during tales of ba sing se

-picks up right where the previous left off in terms of brainwashing jet

-since we aren’t given much on how it works exactly, a lot of this is headcanoning about the process

-going off of this, i headcanon that the brainwashing is only temporary, as well as subconsciously deep set, and takes multiple sessions to reinforce

-it starts off with jet being dragged to a cell, he appears to be in a tranced state, though when he’s thrown inside he briefly becomes aware of what is going on and begins struggling as they approach the door, unable to talk or move

-the dai li lock him up, leave him there and regroup, going to the area where they fight the gaang under lake laogai, and there they meet long feng

-long feng asks about the newest prisoner, asks for any details on him

-”there are none, sir.” “none?” “none. no profiles, no connections to speak of. the only thing we found on him was this passport.” “is it his?” “we don’t believe so, sir. background checks match it to no one within the walls.” "interesting. is he a citizen of ba sing se?” “he’d been living in ba sing se, but most likely snuck in illegally.” “with the passport, no doubt.” “it’s a possibility, sir.”

-long feng continues to press for details as he strides down the long, empty halls of lake laogai. he learns that he attacked a tea shop as well as its occupants, that witnesses fully believe that he’s crazy for calling them firebenders.

-the more he learns, the more a plan begins to develop in his mind, making him stop in his tracks entirely.

-a boy, with little to no connections to anyone else? a criminal, no less, who knows how to fight? he thinks about his current predicament with the avatar. the dai li may be watching, but would it be enough? the avatar being present is a threat in itself. 

-long feng dismisses the dai li, thanking them for their continued service. once they are gone, he heads back towards the cell, telling those guarding him to let him through.

-here, he finds himself met with an angry boy, with a wild mop of hair and wide, terrified eyes. he watches him scowl and begin to shout, angry words only deafened by the stone covering his mouth.

-bending the ground and forcing him into a sitting position, binding him to the rock, long feng approaches, taking the rock away, ignoring the flurry of confusion and insults that follow.

-”you can cease your infernal shrieking, boy. there’s no one around to hear you. in fact, there’s no reason for you to be shrieking at all.”

-jet doesn’t understand. his head hurts too much to fully comprehend the man’s words. all he knows is that he’s angry and scared. something about this man being here, though, makes him tense.

-”i have a proposal for you, jet. i have a little problem in my humble city that only someone like you can address. you are familiar with the avatar, correct?”

-long feng notes the way his eyes widen, though he says nothing.

-”to the rest of the world, he is their savior; perhaps, even, their god. but here, he is a threat. a real threat- bigger than any silly little firebender.”

-”if it comes down to it... you will be the one to eliminate him.”

-the protests were expected. after being beckoned, the two agents guarding the door enter, and the sight immediately sends jet into a panic. long feng tells the agents to brainwash him again, to make sure it sticks, and turns to leave as they close in.

-long feng is confident. confident that his plan is without fail, without flaw. no one is looking for him. who would miss a criminal?

-cut back to ba sing se, where haru is looking for jet.

-he’d been asking around for days now, and everyone refuses to speak up about the event

-he can’t seem to find any prisons, which is odd for the lower ring

-those who do simply say that the kid got what was coming to him. this rubs him the wrong way and unsettles him deeply

-he doesn’t dare go back to the tea shop yet. there’s always at least a couple dai li agents around, and he trusts them all about as far as he can throw them

-though, they are his only leads...

-he decides to try to find the guards from that night. or just some normal city guards. maybe they’ll be reasonable?

-however they react, he knows that something’s gotta help him find jet. bottom line is, he’s got to find jet, or at least what’s happened to him. this city is giving him the creeps.

-cut back to jet under lake laogai, training to fight the avatar. he hasn’t left the lake in days.

-he hates this. every single attack he makes doesn’t feel right, doesn’t feel like him. nothing feels like him anymore. and yet something in his mind makes him continue.

-long feng works with him specifically. telling him any possible attacks he may dish out, any loops he may throw him for. as if he were working with yet another dai li agent.

-by the end of it all he’s exhausted. he barely has any energy to fight back with. he can barely think of any plans to escape- they always take his swords.

-but he tries to rebel in the little ways he can.

-as he sits alone in his cell, he leans against the wall and whistles. loudly. the guards absolutely hate it. he doesn’t stop. bird call after bird call. seems like he’s learned a new one every day.

-as the guards bang against his door and yell at him to shut up, he smirks. he might be stuck here, but they’re also stuck with him.

-a part of him also hopes that they hear it. maybe they’ll recognize his signal.

-cut back to ba sing se, it’s late at night, and haru’s sitting with guards at a different shop, or perhaps a bar of some sort. he asks them about the kid they saw a few days ago, and tries to ignore how they all laugh at his demise.

-they don’t tell him anything useful- they don’t know where he went, either. so, he decides to ask about the dai li.

-these guards have a pointedly different attitude compared to those in the innermost rings, the main difference being just how grateful they sound.

-”crime’s always been difficult to stay on top of in the lower ring, but with the dai li here, it’s like it just disappears! makes our jobs easier,” “yeah, whatever they do, i hope they keep doing it- the reform work they do is incredible, it’s like you never knew they were criminals in the first place!” “i heard they’ve got this big reform facility somewhere. maybe it’s in the middle ring? they’ve got the money for it there; much more money than what we’ve got, anyway,”

-across from the shop, hidden in the shadows, a single dai li agent watches.

-haru is put off by all this glorification, and tries to ask if they know anything about this ‘reform’. again, they don’t. he comes up short once again. 

-not knowing what else to do, he figures he should start looking somewhere else. he thanks them all and leaves.

-as he leaves, he doesn’t notice the guards being approached by the dai li, nor the guards pointing down the alleyway he’s headed.

-walking alone, he feels this overwhelming sense of being watched. glancing over his shoulder, he catches a glimpse of the dai li agent in the corner of his eye. 

-he picks up the pace. the agent does as well. he’s being followed.

-something tells him to duck, and a stone hand flies right over his head. he only has a split second to react before another follows, nearly snagging his ankle. 

-panicking, he bends. anything to get him out of there.

-the agent is slammed into a nearby wall as haru rounds the corner, using the precious time he bought to try and lose the agent.

-conveniently, the tea shop is right there. however, there are other agents out there on patrol. despite running before, now, he’s got to be inconspicuous.

-just walking up to a door has never been so nerve-wracking.

-it’s past closing time when he enters, and both zuko and iroh are surprised to see him. he hasn’t turned up to work in a while. 

-he’s about to answer when he hears approaching footsteps outside, and he pushes past the two of them cleaning up shop, ducking behind the counter, not having enough time to slip into the back rooms.

-the dai li agent enters, accompanied by the other two on patrol. iroh stands behind the counter, wiping it down, fully aware of the boy hiding behind it as the agents ask if he’s seen anything suspicious.

-knowing his luck when it comes to being sold out by random old people, haru prays that iroh is different.

-to his surprise, iroh really is different, not only keeping him safe, but misleading the agents by telling them he’d snuck past to another shop.

-the utter camaraderie of the exchange is uncomfortable, with iroh treating the dai li with so much respect. luckily though, it’s enough to get them to leave.

-when they do leave, haru doesn’t move from his spot until they tell him he’s gone, and even then, his fear is poignant. he wants to talk, tell them what’s going on, but his words catch in his throat. iroh notices this, telling him to sit down and talk with them in the back rooms. they want to know what’s going on, too.

-mutely, haru accepts their offer. sitting in the back with a cup of calming tea, allowing it to steady his nerves as he tells zuko and iroh about his discoveries. about criminals disappearing, about them suddenly acting normal. they ask why he was tussling with the dai li, and he finally admits that he was looking for jet, and he’s starting to think that the dai li are more involved with his disappearance than he originally thought- he just thought they took him to a prison.

-all this talk about the dai li gets zuko’s attention specifically. if something is going on within the walls and the dai li are connected to it, maybe the city isn’t as safe for them as they thought.

-haru voices this, takin the thoughts out of zuko’s mind, and adds that, if something Is going on in this city, then it makes finding jet even more important.  he could be in danger.

-neither zuko nor iroh fully understand why he’s so desperate to find him. truth be told, haru’s not too sure either. but he still wants to try, especially since no one else will. he begins to speculate.

-”he said there’s traitors here, and he got arrested for it. what if he was right?”

-cut back to jet the following morning, leaving the lake for the first time in days, being escorted by the dai li back into ba sing se. his pupils are dilated and he’s in a daze.

-”what if there’s something important they’re all trying to hide from us?”

-they take jet to this tiny apartment, and begin telling him what he’s going to do. when they leave, he will believe that he’s been living peacefully in the city.

-”the dai li kept watching me- i was just asking about them, and they tried to get me, too. what if that’s why?”

-they hand him back his swords. if the avatar starts doing anything out of line, he’s to mislead them as much as possible.

-”they didn’t like me snooping around. they definitely have something they want to hide.”

-jet simply stands still and listens, nodding as the dai li wrap up their instructions. they tell him he won’t remember a thing about what he’s been put through- the brainwashing, the training. he will simply live the life they want him to.

-”whatever it is, i bet it’s got something to do with jet. and i’m going to find out what it is. i’m going to find him. no matter what it takes.” haru’s fear changes to determinism, and, despite his exhaustion, a fire blazes in his eyes; the same fire that blazed in katara’s when she told sokka and aang of her plan to get arrested for earthbending.

-they tell him he is safe here. always has been. this much he will remember.

-finally, the dai li leave. the moment the door closes, he snaps out of his trance, blinking, swords in hand. sheathing them as he looks around, he faintly recognizes where he is- this is his apartment. he’s been living here peacefully. for some reason, he feels an urge to leave and look for... something. he doesn’t know why, but he’s drawn to the barn that stands nearby. this is... his job? of course it is. he’s been working here. peacefully.

-nothing is wrong in ba sing se. he’s safe here.

[r-ahh-mi]

All of the Above, All My Love.

Pairing: Merriell Shelton x reader (gender neutral)

Summary: Despite the mutual agreement to be in an open relationship, reader is beginning to have some regrets about sharing the very man they love.

Warnings: Angstyyy! but cute.

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: This was requested by @sherlollydramoine and she wanted a fic based off of the song Bet My Heart by Maroon 5. So, this is what I made. This is only my second time writing for Merriell so I hope this isn’t too funky. Enjoy! xx

-

“You can’t be serious Mer. You can’t-I can’t believe you would do that with someone like her.”

Though Merriell was quick to reach out for your arm, you were much more quick in jerking your body away--as far away as it could get within a second's notice.

“Don’t ya’ pull away from me like that baby. C’mon now.”

“Don’t Merriell. I swear to god don’t you dare fucking touch me ever again.”

Merriell chuckled, “Don’t say things ya surely don’t mean darlin’.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, as if that would convey how seriously upset you were with him. Though he was still joking around and not seeing the full gravity of the situation that much as true.

“So you don’t think i’m serious? How’s this for fucking serious.” With that, you headed for the bedroom that had shortly become shared between the two of you despite neither of you formally stating that you were living with one another. It just sort of happened because you enjoyed the others company..so much so that you were basically living with one another and had been for the past month or so.

Merriell followed swiftly and couldn’t keep that smirk off of his face as he enjoyed watching your little tantrums that you’d often pull, but when he saw you digging through various drawers and picking up items that were yours from his bedroom floor and tossing them into a bag, that’s when he began to go into crisis mode.

“Wha-What’s all this. Stop kiddin’ round babe.”

“I’m not kiddin’ round,” you spoke in a mocking tone similar to Merriell’s thick accent. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Merriell began combing his hands through his hair as he mentally wracked his brain for what had happened within the last minute, hours, days; something that would clue him into why you were acting this way, especially threatening with something as serious as moving your things out of his home. Something he didn’t let just anyone do. Come to think of it, he had never let any of his prior flings or hookups do it before.

“Ju--I--Baby--I.” He was struggling to find the words as his breath began to feel heavy in his chest. You couldn’t leave. This wasn’t real, this isn't happening. Surely this was some sick joke.

“Why are you doing this?”

“I can’t deal with those other people Merriell. I can’t share you anymore...I know we agreed whatever it is we have would be open to other people, but-”

At this, Merriell could feel the heat spring up from his chest and shoot out his nostrils in anger. 

“You mean ta’ tell me you’re upset about somethin that we had a mutual agreement on?”

You were much too emotional to say a word or confess how this arrangement had really started to bother you and leave you sad and feeling used. So, you just continued stuffing anything in your bag that belonged to you and doing so as quickly as possible. But Merriell wasn’t a cold hearted person, regardless of the anger and confusion and sadness he was feeling right now. 

“Talk ta me baby, please.” Merriell pleaded with sorrow dripping off of his tongue as he went from his standing, cross armed position to kneeling down right next to your body.

“Please.”

You didn’t stop your furious packing until Merriell placed a hand on top of yours. You lacked the energy to push his hand away and keep on keeping on, but you also found comfort in the person whose palm was warming up the top of your hand. You only want to be comforted by someone you care deeply for and feel very comfortable with, and that person just happened to be the human being who was also making you feel like shit.

“What do you want.”

“Ta’ fuckin’ talk to me. You’re not makin’ any sense ri’ now.”

Deep down, you were well aware you were being ridiculous, but this option to just pick up, run away, and forget this person who had impacted you in such a vast way was the simplest way to break things off. Talking about it would just make you more upset and that would, in turn, make Mer upset which was the furthest thing you want.

“I just can’t do this anymore Merriell. I can’t keep seeing you with these other people and them touching you like I would touch you and feeling you like I would feel you. I don’t want to share you anymore--I want you all to myself.”

Your body had begun to crumple as your once seated form began to sprawl out--legs fully stretched out and slightly spread. Merriell couldn’t resist but to coddle your head to his chest--seeing you like this was hurting him much more than he had ever thought possible, especially knowing that he was the reason you were feeling this broken.

“I’ll do it.”

“Do what.”

Your tears began to dry up slightly as you twisted your body and moved your head away from the warmth of Merr’s chest.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll give 'em up. If that’s what ya want--I’ll do it. Just please stop packin’ ya shit up.”

Your heart had begun to calm down, the heaving that was once a visible movement in your chest was starting to slow and go back to a regular, even pace as you tried to process what exactly Merriell was saying to you.

“Merriell please don’t. I know that’s not what you want that’s why you wanted to have an open relationship in the first place-”

“And what if I changed ma’ mind.”

At this you fell silent as your sniffles were the only thing to take up space in Merriell’s tiny bedroom that had stained carpet and torn, old wall paper littering the paper thin walls. Yet this small and mediocre place had started to feel like your home and started to be filled up with pleasant memories that you shared with him.

Several minutes were coming and going, passing quickly as you both just stayed in the company of each other without saying a word because this is what felt safe. Right now, you were at ease even in the slightest bit knowing that Merr was willing to have you and you alone and be wholly satisfied with that. More words could mess things up, regardless of you knowing this was something that needed to be properly talked about, but right now silence would do.

Merriell seemed to understand and feel the exact same way as you. His body wanted to be as close to you as possible as he adjusted your body so it sat between his seated, spread legs. He wrapped both arms around you and gently swayed, as if he was cradling a fussy newborn baby and trying to appease them with a soothing movement that was familiar and comforting.

“Ya don’ need ta talk. Jus’ listen.” He said as he placed one more kiss to the top of your head full of hair.

“I know-I know what we talked about when we first started this and I know that I said I wanted an open relationship, but that was before I started feeling these things for ya’ baby you hafta’ understand.”

“What things?”, You said abruptly, causing Merr to hold in his breath for a second longer than usual.

“I-Fuck I-I don’t fully understand them, but-but baby i’m scared. I’m so scared of how much I care for you because I don’t want you to hurt me-I never wanted anyone to hurt me so I thought keeping things open would allow that small space between me and them.”

“Oh Merriell,” you quickly spun around to wrap your arms around his neck and, this time cradle his head to your chest as you rested your weight on your knees. “I care for you too baby that’s why i’m-”

“Why ya’ so upset?”

“Yes, yes exactly,” you nodded. “I would never, ever hurt you baby. I-I love you too much to do that to you.”

Those words came out accompanied with several stammers, but you figured now was as good as any to say those heartfelt words that you’d been wanting to roll off your tongue to him. 

Now, it was time for the aftermath.

You felt Merriell’s body stiff up as he pulled his head out from your hands and looked up at your form that was usually much shorter than his.

“So ya love me now?” His face was plain as he looked up at you with eyes that were gently touched with moisture as the bags beneath began to grow red.

You nodded slowly in response as you tried to weigh how this could go well and  how this could go utterly wrong. In the odd chance that he felt the same way, his reaction would be good and joyful. On the other hand, if he were to not reciprocate the feelings you had just shared, you would be doing just what you were doing before. Sobbing and packing your bags in an attempt to get far, far away from this stupid town and the man who caused these stupid thoughts of love to fill your head.

Suddenly, Merriell’s straight lined lips upturned at the corners and created a beautiful smirk as his hands enveloped themselves around your waist.

“Guess ya could say the feelings’ mutual then.”

 At that, Merriell began digging the tips of his fingers deep into the depths of your hips, sending tickles that ran up and down your neck as your body began to squirm underneath his touch. 

“Merriell Shelton stop!”

“Hmmm kiss me.”

“What?,” you squealed.

“I said kiss me and tell me you love me again.”

His movements slowly began to cease as you regained your composure and looked down at the man who was looking at you with an awe in his eyes like you were the most beautiful landmark he could ever see in his life.

You began to lean down so your face was level with his as Merriell’s fingers began to dance up from your hips to the back of your neck until your lips crashed with one another--the action was rough and harsh like a car crash, but easy and slow once you got to the place were your lips melted together and moved like it was what they were born to do.

“I love you baby’” 

The words were caught between yours and his lips, but despite the mashing, you would recognize that accent anywhere.

“And I love you Merriell Shelton.”

-

Tag: @lovelymalekk @mezzomercury @amcquivey @sherlollydramoine @rami-malek-trash @ramimedley @rawmemalek​ @xmxisxforxmaybe​

[dolphin-enthusiast]

Part 11. Is long, my dudes. ALSO MY POOL IS FILLING UP!! But another warning, a weed Joke.

“WHAT DO WE DO,DAMMIT!! What should I do?!” ”Chill, Okuyasu quit watching and get over here we can’t leave them alone at a time like this.” “Wait, why are you so calm?! YOU’D BE THE FIRST TO PANICK AND SHE’S TARGETING YOU TOO!!!” “Oh, I look calm, I’m just keeping the anxiety attack on the inside.” “You know, at first I was happy, no other girls liked me before.” “I feel you, I feel you deeply and my feelings I can feel deeply.” Then Koichi just plans to tell her off “Koichi, are you braindead? From someone that’s been confessed like 7 times each day, it won’t end well.” “She’s right, she won’t stop easily! She’s the kind of person that can weave 2 sweaters in a single night, that’ll make her more determined!” “Hey, did you guys know Sky’s Puertorican-Mexican?” “Huh? A combination like that exists?” “Why does she look Korean?” “To be honest myself, I don’t know. The real question is how did SHE know I’m Puertorican-Mexican.” “Can you speak Puertorican?” “Okuyasu, you fucking dumbass, México and Puerto Rico speak Spanish- WE’RE GETTING OFF TOPIC!!” “Right!- Wait, is that right? I can’t tell her off?” “Right, don’t try to convince her now. Don’t make her use her hair stand. You need to make her hate you too, make you seem like the most boring and bad people in the school.” “Guys, as a psychic,I don’t recommend that-” then they formulate a plan “Wait, how do we make a girl like Sky, the most boring person ever? I mean, her entire life could be made into a drama. And she gave Yukako her own phone number.” “What if we don’t and I ignore her like I do with everyone else-” Then they continue “How about we tell her a giant lie about Sky too, like, She’s completely straight! Or if she’s a slob-” “I give up.” Then they continue and Koichi shows them his English test “-This is the english text we just took. I can’t study like this!” “16... That’s really low. Even I can do better than this. Mine’s 32.” “Really? I got a 96. If it weren’t for the fact that I ran out of time I would’ve gotten 100. I think I’ll also ruin my life as well. I got a 69.420 in Japanese. I can’t afford to ruin what I spent raising so much.” “Listen Koichi!Do what we tell you! Sky, I love you, survive.” “Well damn, if you put it that way, I guess I will.”

Yukako was making her way down the streets . “HEY, THAT KOICHI HIROSE IS VERY DIRTY!!” “HE LOOKS NORMAL!! I CAN’T BELIEVE HE DOES THINGS LIKE THAT!!” “AND THAT SKY-CHANYEOL GUADALUPE!!” “I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE COMES FROM A PLACE LIKE THAT!! SHE MUST BE SECRETLY A THUG!!” “Hey, is she looking that way? And why is there a trashcan here ?” “No, but I’m sure she can hear us, let’s continue. And I don’t know. Go with it I guess.” “THAT KOICHI REALLY STEALS?!” “YEAH!! HE TOLD ME HIMSELF!!” “NO DIGNITY!” “AND DOES SKY REALLY LIKE BLOWING THINGS UP?!” “YEAH!! WHERE SHE COMES FROM SHE DID IT A LOT, SHE CAN MAKE A BOMB OUT OF THIN AIR!!” Then they continue with Koichi’s insults. Then, Okuyasu says “I HEARD THAT SKY DOESN’T DATE BECAUSE ALL OF HER PSYCHOPATHIC EXES WERE BLOWN UP!!” “REALLY? DID SHE HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THAT?!?” “SHE DENIES IT, BUT SHE LOOKED PROUD!!” “WE SHOULD CUT TIES WITH THEM!! SHE’S INSANE AND HE HAS NO FUTURE!” She leaves. *Pop*

I come out of the trashcan. “Wait, you were here all along?” “Yes, and the part about insane hurt a little. You didn’t have to go there. I mean, you’re not wrong, but still, you didn’t have to go there.” “Can you predict that our plan work.” I do the thing. “It didn’t work, she’s gonna kidnap us.” “Maybe your vision was wrong.” “I SURE HOPE SO.”

At my boi Koichi’s.

“Josuke and Okuyasu made it sound so easy... I’m so tired. Maybe I was too nervous. Let’s hope tomorrow she’ll forget about us.” He was talking, I was shaking. He falls asleep and has a nightmare. “Wake up, Koichi. Wake the fuck up,Koichi!!” “W-What’s wrong?” Yukako is outside the window “Y-Your friends are saying bad things about you!! But don’t worry I’m here to perfect you. I’m taking you with me.” She sees our English tests, my Japanese quiz and a bottle of nitroglycerin. “One more centimetre.” “Huh, what’s wrong, love?” “One more centimetre and that bottle would’ve fallen off the table.” Koichi just goes: “What would’ve happened if it fell off?” “That bottle of nitroglycerin would’ve fallen, gotten shocked from impact and exploded. There’s enough in that bottle to obliterate the entire room.” “That’s why I’m here, to fix you!” And she kidnaps us.

In a house, near the edge of Duwang.

There we were tied up to a chair. My stand, was close to hatching, and I was sending an SOS to Jotaro.

... And building a bomb with my feet just in case. You never know wjen

“You must be hungry guys!”

‘Koichi, act natural.’ ‘Wait, did you just send me a message with your mind?!’ ‘Yes, don’t question it. Just play along with it.’

“Hey, Shawty? We wanted to ask you something.” “What?” “Last night, about the hair, what was that about?” “You guys saw it for the first time so you just be a little scared..” she explains about how it was Keicho, an arrow and so on. “Do you mayhaps know someone else with that ability?” “Not sure, now come sit here, you need to have a balanced diet to become perfect people!”

‘Koichi, I made a bomb while she was cooking, I hid the detonator of the bomb in a safe box, push it back so she doesn’t notice.’ ‘How? Your psychic abilities helped you see that it would work?’ ‘No, I quite literally make stuff in my sleep. It just happened to be bomb this time.’ ‘Ok!’ He slides the bomb back. “Can we eat? I need to take my pills after eating.” “Can we??!” “NOT NOW,GUYS!! Koichi, 16 on your English test? And Sky, really? 69.420?” “Listen, I may not be that person to do jokes that I don’t fully understand. But it said 420. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity to do a weed joke and I needed to use it.” “So you smoke?!!” “No, I see the people who get high do stupid things everyday I leave my apartment with my do- WHERE’S IGGY?!” “BARK!” “Thank God...” “Anyways, I said it last night, those scores are too low in my standards, Koichi, even if you’re not that smart, that score is too low, and Sky-” *click* *Dorime, Interimo Adapare,Dorime-* “I know that Japanese is not even close to your native language but you have a manga, it’s not even finished yet! How are you so bad at it?” “First, How did you know I was writing another part? And second, YOU KNOW I’M BOTH DYSLEXIC AND DYSGRAPHIC!! I TRY BUT I SUCK!” “I think we should study while we eat.” She pulls out the boxes and asks Koichi. “Prince often sings about 'funky music', but what is the definition of 'funk'? A) Crazy music B) Groovy music or C) Smooth music?” “B!” “Correct! Now for Sky! How many strokes takes to write the word 湖 (Lake)? A) 15 B) 12 or C) 10?” “B.” “Great!You guys got boiled eggs!” ‘Dammit, I hate those.’ ‘How did you know the answer of yours? You don’t even know how to write your name correctly.’ ‘ I didn’t. I knew that if you were correct with your answer, she wouldn’t expect for me to guess it was in the same place. I do every character with as many strokes I need. I write everything kinda connected, Spanish and Japanese are far from similar.’ “ I’ll take the shell off. Do you guys want salt or soy sauce?” ‘She seems happy! We need to escape as soon as we get the chance!’ “If you guessed A, you’d have to eat erasers!” ‘Fuck, it’s real.’ “C is soap.” ‘Oh hell naw.’ Then she goes to the next one. Koichi bout to get it. “And for Sky, the strokes for, ( 愛 )love. A) 11 ,B) 9, or C) 13. Koichi guesses from her face, I think about it. “C!” “ Koichi, did you guess by looking at my face?” “What about Sky?!” “Did YOU guess by my face,Guadalupe?” “NO, I GUESSED BECAUSE IT LOOKED LIKE IT HAD THE SAME NUMBER OF STROKES LIKE LAKE BUT I NOTICED ONE MORE STROKE!!” “She thought about it! “ And she gives him the choice from bamboo or corn syrup. And tries to force feed him. “GET THE BOMB!!” And we try to get it to run.

(What I hear every time I run after I make my mum mad.)

“YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!” “FINE!!! I ACCEPT THAT FOR NOW, BUT MY BOMB!!” “WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH A BOMB!!” “I BUILT IT IN MY SLEEP OK?!? I DON’T REMEMBER HOW I BUILT THIS ONE!! THAT’S WHY I NEED IT!!” Yadayadaya , we try to escape Yukako reveals that the house is owned by a CEO in Tokyo and since no one will know until summer, we’ll have plenty of time to 'make progress'. Yayadaya, we get to the door, in what year did Columbus discovered the new world?’ “Do you know the answer?” “No, I forgot, she yoinked my head real hard.”

Part 12. Soon

[strouja]

Turned 55 - A day in the life

I did this 5 years ago when I hit 50 and figured I’d do this again.  To capture a moment in time and what I did on typical day, but it just happened to be my birthday Sept. 1, 2020

Late night working

I got inspired and decided to improve our security profile on our product on a very minor issue, but it would be nice do.  So after midnight, which made it my birthday I researched on how to only allow Transport Layer Security (TLS) version 1.2 (and not allow earlier versions) to parts of our system used for internal communications.  This is a minor issue as we lock this down for all customer access and this is just for our own “system to system” communication.  So I looked up how to do this for something called Kibana and WebSphere liberty.  I checked in config file changes into something called github for our product and sent a “pull request” to have an expert review it.

So it is now 1:30 am and I’m ready to call it a night.

Can we sleep now

The wife comes up to bed and we agree to NOT let our dog Winston sleep in our bed as he can make it hard for us humans to sleep.  I would have him stay with us but Linh is not in favor.

So he whines outside our door for a good 15 minutes or so.  Now we are ready to sleep.

All of sudden we hear him barking constantly.  He behaves as a guard dog and we are perplexed as there is never anything going on late at night.  This is relentless.  After about 10 or 15 minutes of this I go out to see what the hell is going on.  He is in the next room, on my 16 year old son's bed looking out the window barking at something in the darkness. 

So I put his LED collar on and let him run around the house and chase until his heart’s content.  He stays outside for 1/2 hour or so.  I entice him back in and close the curtains in William's bedrooms so he won't go crazy barking anymore.  So I think.   FYI my son William is passed out in the basement on a new giant bean bag.Now it is probably 2:30 and I'm finally ready to sleep.  But no, we hear Winston barking non-stop again. 

FYI this never happens, normally it is peaceful here at night and the dog does not bark at things past 9 pm or so. It turns out whatever animals he saw before are still out there and he can see them from the windows on the 1st floor.  My wife is fast asleep.  I can't sleep because of this and possibly from my short but pretty hard 10 minute bike workout earlier today and the more than normal amount coffee I had today.  I normally just have  one cup but drank some leftover coffee in the afternoon.I probably fall asleep at 3 am or so.I have a 9 am meeting I have to get up for.

Working for the Man - IBM

Since I work from home I am able to get up right before my 9 am meeting. Then I run a meeting at 9:40 with my boss and my boss’ boss to go over how to allocate our finite internal cloud resources that one team wants to consume all of it.  This is all done by Webex video & audio conferencing (like Zoom).

We have a bunch more meetings.  Then I get a break sometime before noon.

Catching last 20 km of Tour de France Stage 4

When I get a break I put on the TV and through my Roku 3 put on NBC Sports Gold (without ads and European commentary)  to see if today’s Tour de France stage is still on.  I find out the race is still live and it is mountain top finish and there are 20 km left.  So this is the perfect time to watch.  I catch up on work while hearing the race and glimpsing at it.  

Although I’m an avid cyclist, race myself, and lead a fast ride every week (normally 2 times a week but reduced to one because of covid-19 and with a smaller group), I’m not a big fan of pro bike racing because I know all the top names and riders are still doping.  So I know only a fully doped rider has a chance of winning today’s stage, especially because it is mountain top finish. 

Fixing my bike

After my ride on Sunday with my former teammates: Ray Plewacki, Vic Siegfried, and Dave Fuentes, I asked my buddy Ray P. if he can fix some shifting problem of my bike this week.   He texted me earlier in the day and he agreed to come over during his lunch break.   He arrives at 12:30 as I have another meeting going on.  I tell my boss I will have to duck out of the meeting.  He is fine with that.

Ray does his magic and does micro adjusting on my Shimano DuraAce Di2 electronic shifting.  I could not shift into one of the mid gears in the back.  Ray figured it out for me.  So I’m all set for Tuesday Night World Championships.

Bike Ride

I eat my Overnight Oats in the very late morning and later on eat my vegan lentil based meal I made yesterday in the instant pot.   I finish up work, then clean my bike (clean the drive train) and put bike in car.

I drive to bike ride and get FaceTime video call from my Don Cayelli on the ride over to wish me happy birthday.  We agree to have our families go to North Carolina in a few months for a mini-vacation.  We talk about a bunch of things and he asks how old the guys I ride with.  I explain that the average age is about mid 30s, one guy I am older than his parents.  The best and strongest rider by far is 40 years old, a former pro - Jason Schneider.   He would not dope and had to leave the pro ranks as a result, doping was rampant (I claim it still is) but was much more out in the open.  That is the only reason why his pro bike days were cut short.

There were some notable strong riders not here, 2 of the regulars - Alex Batres and Jason Boslaugh.  Them not being here makes it much more manageable for me as the top guys feed off of others and try to outdo each other, in this process this puts the hurt on me.   Many other super strong riders have not been here for anytime this year since we resumed these small rides because of Covid-19. Two notable people in this category are: George Croghan & Ferry Gijzel.

The ride tonight is very hard, 3 loops with hills about 12 miles each loop.  We average 22.5 mph with stopping for lights every loop.  So a pretty hard ride.  I stay with the lead group but make a mistake on 2nd lap and don’t follow a very strong move (that I was told about) and end up doing a few miles solo to catch many 3 people and pull us most of the way to the main group on “Bennett Road” and catch them at the light.

Here is the strava from tonight’s ride

https://www.strava.com/activities/3998711104

This is missing pics of the strongest rider - Jason Schneider

Getting heckled on the ride

On the ride I get comments from the 2nd strongest rider on the ride about joining AARP.  This kid is 27 and I am older than his parents. Spencer Lofgran is this person of interest. 

Close the gap on the ride

On the last lap I was gaped a bit on a flat portion - Lawyers road as I was behind 3 folks that were not continuing the ride and the 4 guys in the front started hammering.  The strongest guy comes back and gives me a massive push that pushes me past all the riders.  This was by far the strongest push I ever received on the bike

Catching up with Mates

In the parking lot after the ride my buddy Vic Siegrfried is there waiting to wish me happy birthday.    Here is a pic from Sunday ride with me, Ray Plewacki (middle) and Vic 

Catching up with former work mates - IT Legend

I drive home and call a good friend of mine from work Anthony Zawacki to catch up with him.  He was our best worker by far but in our last round of layoffs was dismissed.  He is an IT rockstar doing great at his new job.  He asks me a work question and that reminds me to contact a team using our product to help them avert a Kubernetes problem of an expiring certificate and to fix it before it expires.

Working for the man again

I get home and hop back on my new work issued MacBook Pro 16″ laptop to figure out the commands I want the customer to run. The commands are not in our official doc and I eventually find the commands that work.  I test them on my own test system at an IBM lab and give them to support to get to them to the customer.  I no longer have contacts with the on-site team as the main person I worked with left IBM. 

I then write a long slack message to our documentation person to explain why we need these commands in our documentation. I then give sample output of the commands and what we are looking for.

The next day I spend a few hours doing more testing and spend an hour with our doc person to make all the changes to our official doc that I then get out to our customers on this release of our product.

Birthday Cake

My wife bought a 2 cakes, chocolate mousse with raspberries and apricot tart. 

I eat 100% plant based foods (past 8 months or so) but broke that tonight to eat the chocolate mousse

We FaceTime my daughter Sophia at the University of Virginia (UVA), I light candles, and we sing happy birthday with Linh, Sophia (on iPhone), William and our infamous dog - Winston.  Here are some poor photos I took in haste.

Trippy Lights & Wall Art

As I’m heading to bed my son shows me the LED lights we bought him for his bedroom and some very funky psychedelic wall art whose appearance change dramatically as the LED lights change colors.  

[dreamdragonfics]

Backstage Pass

Summary: …i made another self-ship fic, this time based on some roleplay with a friend Word count: 1917 Rating: PG Genre: Fluff/self-ship

“So I know the bass player and the drummer. They’re pretty cool cats,” Gram explained. He held Cory’s hand and led them backstage.

“Why do we even have to do these stupid backstage things?” David bitched.

“To build our character and public personas,” Roger scoffed. “It’s ridiculous. And tonight we got a big list of people, more than usual! We’re at the fucking Nebraska State Fair! Who here would want to see us?”

Chris huffed. “I dunno, man. I just wanna go back.”

Michael watched his friend and sighed. “Yeah, I miss my girlfriend.” Chris made a face and Michael kept pressing. “She’s the sweetest thing in the world.”

Chris growled and stormed out. “Fucking Michael. I really hate him sometimes.” He looked up and sighed at the group of people milling around, waiting to be let back. Chris slipped into the nearby bathroom and lit a cigarette.

Gram kissed Cory’s forehead. “I’ll be right back, Kitten.” He stepped into the bathroom and paused. “Chris?”

Chris looked up. “Gram!” He walked over and hugged Gram. “I haven’t seen you for years!”

Cory waited outside the bathroom patiently. They watched people walking by, talking gleefully about the show. They fiddled with the pass around their neck and sighed. “Gram takes forever in the bathroom...” they mumbled.

“Um, excuse me...” a soft voice spoke. Cory looked up to see a pair of soft dark blue eyes. The person the eyes belonged to fidgeted nervously. “Have you seen a kind of short guy with light brown hair? And a funky looking sweater?”

Cory blinked. “Uh, no. I’m sorry. I haven’t.”

“Oh. That’s fine. I’m looking for my bandmate Chris. He left a few minutes ago and— Chris! There you are!” the man exclaimed.

“Hey, Gene. Remember me talking about Gram Parsons?” Chris queried.

Gene nodded. “Yeah, I remember.”

Chris pointed at Gram. “This is him.”

“Hey, nice to meet you,” Gram said as he held his hand out. Gene shook it gingerly. “This is my partner, Cory.”

Cory waved. “Hi.”

Gene smiled. “Cory and I met. Kind of. I asked if she—”

“They,” Gram cut in. “Cory uses they/them pronouns.”

Cory blushed. “It’s fine, Gram... I don’t really care.”

“Oh, sorry. I’m sorry,” Gene stammered. “I asked them if they had seen Chris anywhere.”

Cory blinked and thought to themself, This guy I just met is better at respecting my pronouns than my partner, what the hell.

Gram and Chris started back to the meet and greet room, chatting happily and catching up. Gene sighed. “Chris always said what a cool guy Gram was but honestly? I don’t see it. No offense, I know you’re dating him.”

Cory laughed. “He’s...nice but not a good match for me. We clash on a lot. Like meeting my parents. That’ll be fun in two days...”

Gene laughed gently. “Don’t think they’ll like him?”

Cory whispered softly to Gene, “He’s kind of a druggie. My parents won’t be thrilled with me, that’s for sure.”

“Ooh, fun,” Gene retorted. He studied Cory’s face for a moment. “So, if you use they and them as your pronouns, are you... I don’t know the word, actually. Hm... I don’t know it.”

“I’m...non-binary,” Cory mumbled.

“That’s the word!” Gene said with a snap. “I think that’s cool that you’re comfortable with yourself enough to know that. What would I use to call a non-binary person, beautiful or handsome? Both?”

Cory laughed a little. “If you’re talking about me... I prefer handsome.”

Gene smiled. “Well, you’re very handsome, then.” He held his hand out for Cory. They took it lightly and smiled. Gene blinked and thought, Holy shit. They’re so perfect. Is it possible to love someone you just met?

He’s so kind and gentle... Cory thought. And his hands are rough but so warm and soft... Not like Gram’s baby hands. Cory giggled at that thought.

“What’s funny?” Gene asked with a grin.

Cory smiled at him. “Just thinking about Gram’s soft baby hands.”

Gene cracked a huge smile and laughed. Cory felt their heart soar at the sight and sound. This man they just met seemed so perfect to them. Gene squeezed Cory’s hand gently. Cory smiled at him and started walking a little closer.

When they got back to the meet and greet room, there was a large group of people. Cory let go of Gene’s hand and stopped.

“What’s wrong?” Gene asked gently.

“I don’t do well in crowds...” Cory lied. In truth, they had seen Gram chatting with several girls in a far more than friendly way. Gene followed Cory’s gaze and let out an understanding sound.

“I don’t do well in crowds either,” Gene said softly. He held his hand out for Cory. “Let’s go somewhere a little quieter.”

Cory took Gene’s hand and followed him out the back and up to the roof. They looked around when they got up there and gasped. Gene smiled at them.

“It’s neat, isn’t it?”

Cory looked at Gene. The lights of the fair rides cast strange shadows on the roof yet lit Gene’s face up. “It is neat. I’ve lived in Nebraska my whole life but I never... I’ve never done this before.”

Gene smiled. “My apartment that I share with Chris has roof access and I go up there to be alone sometimes.”

“The college I went to had a four story parking garage, and the top floor was open. I had to park there one day and went to move my car around sunset and...” Cory looked over at Gene. “Sorry, I talk a lot sometimes.”

“Please continue,” Gene spoke softly.

Cory blushed. “Oh. Oh, um. Right, it was sunset and that just blew my mind. I wish I had brought my phone. The colors were so...vivid and bright, even though the college was in the heart of the city.”

Gene nodded. “That sounds really nice. If you ever come to California, drop by. We can go camp somewhere where we can see the sky at night.”

Cory smiled. “Gram’s not that...sweet, I guess. He’s very...odd. I love him, but... We don’t work right. We piss each other off and get on each other’s nerves and it’s hell sometimes. But he had been the only person I knew out there.” Cory looked at Gene. “I guess I know you now.”

Gene sat down and patted the area beside him. Cory sat down and cautiously leaned into Gene. He wrapped an arm around them and sighed. “I hate the touring part of making music. And the meet and greets. All the girls and some guys just drool over me and don’t listen to us talk. It’s rough.”

Cory sat up straight. “Am I too close right now?”

Gene shook his head. “No. I liked that. It felt...right.”

Cory studied his face. Fuck, he’s beautiful, they thought. Being the person they were, and not fully thinking things out, Cory said, “Fuck, you’re beautiful.”

Gene blushed brightly. “Oh.” He smiled awkwardly. “Thank you. I...” He pulled Cory close again and hid his face in their hair. “So many people have said that to me, but none of them have made me feel like this.”

Cory cuddled closer to him. “This feels so nice. Please don’t let go.”

“I won’t. I won’t,” Gene whispered.

The two sat together, holding each other for some time, listening to the sounds of the fair going on around them. Gene kissed Cory’s temple softly and sighed.

Cory looked at him. “You know, I believe that people are connected in certain ways. That people are drawn to each other for specific reasons and that the way they feel when they meet is important.”

“Oh?” Gene replied.

“When I met you, you seemed so familiar to me. Right now feels like it’s happened so many times,” Cory explained. “I feel like I knew you long ago.”

Gene watched the Ferris wheel. “I feel like that too.” He rested his head on Cory’s shoulder and sighed. “But... This will be the last time I see you for a long time.”

“Then let’s enjoy it as much as we can,” Cory whispered. “Let’s sneak off and go ride the rides. It’s early enough and they won’t close until midnight tonight. It’s only 10:45.”        

Gene smiled. “I’d love that. Come on!” He stood up and took Cory’s hand. They climbed off the roof and ran to the rides. While on the Ferris wheel, Gene held Cory’s hand and talked about his childhood. Cory listened intently and watched his face. He showed every emotion on his face as he spoke, and Cory felt their heart start beating faster. Suddenly they felt a pain and pulled their hand away and scooted away from Gene.

“...Did I do something wrong?” Gene asked quietly.

“No,” Cory whispered. “It’s just hard for me because of Gram. He gets insanely jealous and...”

“Then leave him.” Gene looked hard at Cory. “Don’t stay somewhere you’re unhappy.” He looked away. “I wish I had learned that sooner. I wish Michael would learn it soon too.”

Cory sighed. “I can’t just...leave him. We’re only here so that he can meet my parents. He’s really serious about this relationship. My heart just isn’t there anymore.”

“Don’t lead him on. That’ll break him more...” Gene muttered. “Trust me, I know.”

Cory looked at him and took his hand again. “I’m going to try to fix the relationship. If it doesn’t work out, then I’ll leave. But I want it to work.”

“And I want you to make it work,” Gene replied. The ride stopped and he got off. “Let’s get you back inside, okay?”

Cory nodded and took Gene’s hand and followed him back inside.

“There you are!” Gram exclaimed when he saw Cory. “I wondered where you went.” He went to kiss Cory, but they stopped him.

“You know I don’t like kisses.”

“Oh, come on. Just a little smooch?” Gram stepped closer.

Cory pulled away from Gram. “No. I said no.”

Gram huffed but backed off. “You’re pretty buddy-buddy with Gene there,” he grumbled.

“We just rode some rides instead of being uncomfortable here,” Cory mumbled.

Gram studied them and sighed. “I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable, Kitten. I’m trying to work on not doing that, you know.”

Cory nodded and hugged him. “I know. I’m proud of you for that, but you need a lot of work yet.”

Gram kissed their forehead. “Hey, want to meet the rest of the band? All the other people are gone.”

Cory smiled. “Of course! I would love to!” They started to follow Gram to the room.

Gene stood there awkwardly, replaying in his mind what Cory had confided in him. How can you love him when he treats you that way? Can’t you see he doesn’t really love you? Gene thought.

Cory looked back at Gene and smiled. They held their hand out for him and he took it gingerly. “It’ll be nice to meet your bandmates,” Cory whispered to him.

“I think they’ll like you,” Gene whispered back.

Cory smiled at him and thought, But I think there’s a special place in my heart opening up for just you...

Gene gently squeezed their hand and smiled. I wish I had more time with you, just to know you better, Gene thought as he looked at Cory.

Cory looked at Gene and thought, Someday... Someday we can spend more time together. I know it. They smiled at Gene rested their head on his shoulder. Hopefully soon.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 213: blahblahblahSIXQUIRKS

Previously on BnHA: Baby Ochako stole the show for a few pages as Ochako thought back to her childhood and the first time she saw a hero in action and wanted to be like them and help people who looked like they were in trouble. And more recently during the Basement arc, she saw Deku struggling and thought, “who protects the heroes when they need protecting?” So with that nice segue, we cut back to the present, with Deku freaking out and Ochako trying to calm him down and eventually realizing he had no control. So she called on Shinsou to brainwash him, which he did by telling Deku he wanted to fight him again. And miraculously the brainwashing worked, and the quirk died down and retreated back into Deku’s arm. But then Deku found himself back in the OFA Happy Funky Dream Time Zone, being accosted by some beefy aggressive bald dude with goggles. He told Deku he’d gotten it all wrong, and accused him of not listening. “We told you that you’re not alone!” He said Deku’s quirk wasn’t something he could use casually while distracted any more, and told him to pull himself together.

Today on BnHA: Aggressive Bald Dude explains that the crazy new power Deku just used is actually his quirk, Blackwhip. To make a long story short, Deku can use all of the quirks from the previous wielders of OFA. Something something OFA is getting stronger, something something Quirk Singularity blah blah blah. Anyway, so Deku accidentally activated Blackwhip due to his strong feelings and his wanting to capture Monoma. Baldy warns Deku that if he wields his power in anger, it will respond accordingly, and that he needs to have control. He tells Deku he will eventually manifest six different quirks, and that he is the one who will complete One for All. Then he wishes him good luck and vanishes. Deku wakes up in the aftermath of all this strangeness, only to immediately be attacked by Monoma, who knows an opening when he sees one I guess. Everyone else from Teams A and B chooses this moment to arrive as well, and things quickly escalate into a melee battle. Shinsou challenges Deku, and we cut to the teachers who are watching nearby. A thoughtful-looking Aizawa tells the other teachers to let the battle continue.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 224, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

lol

Kirishima you never told me your ancestor was a bearer of OFA

I really like this guy. what’s your name dude

(ETA: jesus Horikoshi would it kill you to name such an important character though. at least let us know which number he is. give us something)

and this conversation just keeps getting better!

“I don’t have a mouth.” “oh shit you don’t have a mouth. well THAT IS JUST FINE don’t you worry”

so Deku can see this guy much more clearly than OFA Primo in his previous dream. and on top of that, he’s now fully aware that it’s not a dream at all

also I really like TryHarder’s face. it’s just a nice face

he seems tough but kind

ahhhhh it’s another image of the previous 8

(ETA: so is that really you up there, Katsuki? is a part of you “actually alive inside One for All”, deep inside Izuku’s soul or whatever? just waiting for Deku to finally figure this shit out? so you can finally pop up at a critical plot moment and be all “hah, so you can finally see me. took you long enough, you damn nerd” and then give him Mystical Advice or some shit I guess? what level of shipping is that. when a piece of character A’s soul or will or whatever is literally chilling out inside character B’s soul. honestly I still don’t even know what to think about this fucking theory, because I would lose my damn shit. it just seems so ridiculously catered to Everything I Want that even pondering it feels absurdly self-indulgent. and how would it even work. ahghghg. anyways.)

there had better be at least one more girl besides Shimura, otherwise I’m gonna go on a ranting spree just like the JP Hero Billboard Charts all over again

I wonder when Toshinori’s outline will become more visible

and also when will Deku get to talk to Shimura?? her vestige has been clear right from the start. TALK TO HER AND GET THE GOSSIP ON HER SON! YOUR DAD!!

she probably knows so many embarrassing things. this is the true reason why All Might didn’t tell him about this shit back at the sports festival

okay so TryHarder is starting to fade now and he’s like “oh shit looks like I’m on a time limit”

so he’s telling Deku to listen up

YESSSSSSSSS

I wonder how many people guessed this before it was revealed. Horikoshi did an excellent job making it look like his power was just out of control again, honestly. this probably came out of left field for a lot of people

since I unfortunately can’t give you a genuine shocked reaction now, let me instead try to summarize my response when I first came across this spoiler.

DRAMATIZATION:

me: [reading through a post that didn’t seem to contain any spoilers that I didn’t already know] haha what a fine post

post: [gets to a part where it’s like “warning, spoilers” and then just JUMPS RIGHT INTO THE SPOILER RIGHT AWAY without any further ado]

me: [not understanding what just happened yet] wait what

post: blahblahblahSIXQUIRKS

me: [still hasn’t fully processed yet due to my sleepy brain] huh what. six

me: ...

me: wait WHAT

and at this point my brain finally kicked into gear, and it just hit me all at once that (1) I knew there was gonna be more OFA stuff coming up (back when I did the recap for Deku VS Shinsou way back in the sports festival arc, someone mentioned that the manga had gotten into the OFA Past Avatars shit again recently -- this was back in like September -- and so it was kind of in the back of my mind ever since then, just waiting to be remembered at a critical moment), (2) said OFA stuff would presumably consist of him learning to communicate with the Ghosts of OFAs Past in precisely the way that All Might said he couldn’t, (3) I also knew from a comment in this post that there was some power-up coming up for Deku at some point that was considered a spoiler, and lastly (4) the math added up. this last part just came to me in a whoosh. I have no idea how it all came together so quickly. but some very logical part of me waltzed in holding a corn cob pipe and was all, “you know, if Deku is the 9th OFA user and he, All Might, and OFA Prime didn’t have quirks*, that means there were six remaining OFA users who presumably did,” and I was like “NOOOOOOOOO WAAAAAAY?!” and I started freaking the fuck out. so anyway that’s how it all happened god bless

(ETA*: okay so technically Prime did, but his quirk is OFA, so. like. doesn’t count.)

anyways I really went off on a spiel there. let’s drag our focus back to the present day can we please

so TH is all “our quirks all merged with the core of OFA and have just been sitting here chilling inside it for like aaaaages”

gotta say the visual of this helps a lot. so the quirks are in that tiny lil marble in the middle of Primo’s back, buried deep within all of those flames of power

oh shit wait, did we say “tiny lil”

hmm. is this that quirk singularity bullshit that Seiji was talking about all the way back in the Babysitting Arc. I jump around between translations so much that I didn’t notice until very recently that the word “singularity” was being used in odd ways, and that it was also the word used to describe that phenomenon of quirks evolving until they’re beyond the user’s control

so is this. that

so TH says that One for All itself is growing. but like, look at how he says it though

that is a lot of ominous emphasis there

and Deku’s thinking “but why? what caused this?”

which, I’m glad he thought that, because here I was thinking it was just some natural phenomenon that All Might and Shimura for whatever reason never unlocked. but just like that he’s made me realize that this might be tied in to AFO somehow. didn’t he say just a couple chapters ago that he could hear the voice of his dead bro?

(ETA: yeah, listen guys, there is some shady shit going on here. part of it is the quirk singularity stuff, I’m sure, but there’s a lot of suspiciously coincidental stuff happening. but I will tell you more about my thoughts on this in a separate post, I think, because it’s something I’ve been pondering for a while now and I think it’s better suited to its own theory post.)

oh but TH says that right before the power erupted out of him, Deku was probably thinking something like “GETTIM”

and Deku’s sweating and thinking that he was indeed thinking about capturing Monoma

yeah to beat the shit out of him for insulting your boyfriend

so presumably he activated this quirk somehow which is meant to be a capture quirk?

OOOH

IT’S SEXY

that was honest to god my first thought. look at how elegant it is when he uses it. nothing like Deku’s out-of-control Venom rampage

here. this is what it reminds me of

ah, I see. so TH says that OFA’s power has been added to the black whip quirk now, so now it’s like it’s on steroids

AHH

DON’T DO THAT ALL SUDDENLY, HOLD UP, THIS WAS JUST GETTING INTERESTING

ah shit. so he’s starting to fade away

but you do exist! you’re real! you live on inside the quirk!

so you hear that, All Might? when you inevitably die your stupid fucked up tragic death that poor Nighteye foresaw and was tormented by, once you’re done ripping my heart to pieces, you can come back and still give Deku mentor advice within his mind. like Dumbledore in Deathly Hallows, only with less “sorry about dumping you on your abusive relatives and raising you to be a sacrificial lamb”

anyways the point is the two of you are bonded forever within OFA now, and that’s a comforting thought that I’m gonna hold onto for when shit eventually gets Real, however far along down the road that may be

oh okay good, before he goes he’s giving Deku advice on how to control it

he says that if Deku wields the power in anger, the power will respond accordingly

(ETA: and there’s literally a flashback panel of Monoma being all “REMEMBER WHEN BAKUGOU DESTROYED SOCIETY” lmao. just to remind everyone yet again of what exactly it was that set him off.)

good thing he’s not an empathetic young shounen hero prone to being roused to action and acting impulsively to the point where that was literally the deciding factor that made All Might choose him. oh wait. oh shit

but TH does say that it’s fine to get angry and that anger is one source of power

wow. just let that sink in for a second. so here’s a wise old mentor ghost actually telling the hero that he doesn’t have to be some perfect zen monk all the damn time. damn. hey TH I really do like you my dude

but anyways, so “that’s exactly why you must have careful control over that anger”

so basically you can use it to power up your quirk, but you gotta keep a rein on it otherwise we’ll wind up with a repeat of what just went down

YESSSSSSS AWWWWWW HERE IT GOESSSSSS

and that was the sound of fans across the world either ragequitting or losing their fucking shit in excitement lol

but okay, so me personally, I fucking love it. I know fandom is somewhat divided on whether he’s going to be too overpowered, but look at him! he has his fucking hands full just getting a handle on this one single new quirk! it’s not like he’s gonna just master this and the other five overnight. basically this is a brand new challenge for him which will take quite some time (if not the remainder of the series) for him to get a handle on, and which will make for much more interesting and unpredictable battles from here on out. and what with All Might gone, and us having pretty much seen the limits of what Endeavor can handle now, I gotta say it seems like we’re gonna need this sooner than later

(ETA: especially with the recent reveal of just what he’s going to be up against. bad guys are not fucking around holy shit.)

and strangely, this also makes me excited as a Bakugou fan because I still firmly believe that the two of them will remain head to head as the series progresses. which means that Bakugou is going to get a hell of a lot stronger himself. I don’t know how, but I have faith in the series to make it happen, and I’m looking forward to that as well

anyway, so TH is fading away, but he really has a lot of confidence in Deku and I love it

“you’re going to be the one who completes One for All.” fuck yeah. you hear that Deku? we all agree this is your destiny kiddo

and now we’re finally cutting back to the real world yaaaaaay

so Ochako is frantically shaking him

her slap probably did hurt. she’s fucking strong as hell. but he’s all right

so she’s setting him down and he’s realizing that the quirk has vanished (ah yes, that’s right, he went into that trance OFA dream state as soon as Shinsou’s quirk activated, and he was pretty out of it when the quirk was receding)

and she’s explaining that they were able to calm it down with Shinsou’s quirk. thanks for the assist Shinsou!

so like is this battle still on though or what lol. I think that Deku’s team should concede and call it a day because yikes

so Ochako’s asking him if he’s okay now and he’s just now realizing that she’s all banged up too. I guess that black whip packed a punch

HEY WHAT

FUCKING HELL MONOMA, YOU LITERALLY DON’T EVEN KNOW IF HE’S OKAY YET AND YOU’RE PULLING THIS SHIT ANYWAY. CAN YOU GIVE IT A REST FOR TWO FUCKING SECONDS OMG

also did he just snatch OFA?? I’ve been wondering for ages what would happen if he did that, and I gotta say most of my speculation didn’t end very well for him

anyways, sigh, so he’s whapping Deku with the giant bolt he just rode in there on. Yanagi’s quirk combined with Kodai’s quirk

and Deku’s stupidly shouting “Monoma!” and he’s lucky that Monoma didn’t just activate Shinsou’s quirk right there and then

and now Ochako is charging in yessssssssss!!!

FUCK HIM UPPPPPPP OCHAKO lol

ahh but here come more giant flying objects crashing down at them

and now Yanagi is asking Monoma if he’s all right and he’s complimenting her on her good timing

well would you look at this

so are we just going to have a big fucking brawl right here and now then

Kodai’s using her size quirk to block Mina and Mineta’s attacks, and it occurs to me to wonder what level of acid Mina was flinging at them. you know, Mina’s someone who could be pretty fucking deadly if she wanted to. they’re lucky she’s not on the villain side; with her charisma and creativity and fucking acid quirk she could probably take over the world with ease

anyway so now this is happening

honestly, Vlad and Aizawa, you really might as well call the fight off now lol

or don’t. because this is still entertaining

meanwhile Deku and Ochako are watching from above

“you wanna go get some burgers or something”

lol are you gonna help your teammates out or are you just gonna crouch there all day

Deku’s thinking back on TH’s words about how he needs to be in control of his heart and how if he wields his power in anger shit’s gonna get wrecked

uh oh

Shinsou being a sneaky sneak. but they owe him one though

lol it didn’t do much though

you tried, Shinsou

Deku’s narrating that he’s got so much going on in his head right now he can barely think, but he knows he can’t allow himself to go out of control and hurt everyone again

and now we’re cutting to the teachers who have snuck onto the stage and are watching from the shadows

Vlad’s asking Aizawa what they should do

Aizawa you’re so fucking hot as always good grief. I like your thoughtful face as you ponder how to address this later on, while also thinking that in the meantime you wanna keep watching and see how your protege fares against your problem child

haha okay

THE 5TH SET SHALL CONTINUE, EVERYONE! LOOKS LIKE THE BATTLE’S BACK ON FOLKS

next issue has a color page yaaaay. should be the 4th popularity poll results at long last if I’m not mistaken. MIRIO’S REVENGE. or mine, if he’s not represented the way he should be

meanwhile watch fucking Hawks be in like 1st place. except he’s not unseating the big three, probably, but after that who knows. sky’s the limit, and this boy can fly, so

(ETA: motherfucker made it all the way up to 4th place lol called it. apparently I missed when the results were originally announced back with chapter 207. still not sure how. but anyways I’ll post all my thoughts about it tomorrow lol)