#and it’s made me feel extremely dysphoric

[theswedishpajas]

Having a really stinky gender day so I tried to redesign Foggy but idk if it made me feel better, worse, or indifferent about it all.

[nomoretumbler]

got a haircut today and went back to having very short hair……. i haven’t felt this confident in so long!!!!!!!

life is beautiful, the grass has never been greener, i can hear birds singing, i want to continue living :33.

[tkbrokkoli]

just had the worst hair cut experience :(

[lavenderedhoney]

Told my baby I was feeling dysphoric today so she called me her pretty-boy a bunch of times and used an eyebrow pencil to very carefully draw a mustache on me 🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖

[cherrymoonvol6]

.

[genderqueerdykes]

i met some new trans folks through a mutual friend who sounded like they may have room for me at their new place. while getting to know each other, one of them posted a selfie, and then asked to see one of me. after posting mine, this person asked for my agab as opposed to my identity. they asked me "afab on T?" and i never felt so angry and uncomfortable in my life. it's one thing to be asked that by cis people, but another trans person, it feels like getting hit with a brick

i let them know that i'm intersex and that in my ultrasounds and up to and shortly after my birth, i was confidently announced to be amab, then something caused that to change, then puberty hit and any chance at fitting into amab or afab went out the window.

this made me feel like they looked at my body and tried to figure out what i 'originally was' or 'started out as'. it made me feel like they "assessed" me for what kind of genitals i have. as if that was important information on how to treat or assess me, or had anything to do with how i identify. it made me feel objectified, like a piece of meat.

it made me feel dysphoric for the first time in years. it made me feel like i was being shoved into the binary i've been trying to escape all over again. i felt like i was being shoved in to one of two strict categories that i didn't want to be placed in.

even if this weren't the case and i weren't intersex, this would still be an extremely invasive and disgusting question to ask another trans person before you even know how they identify. trans people should never do this to other trans people. please do not ever ask this of anyone unless they are willingly offering up information about their agab or offer to tell you first.

this is not how we should treat each other.

this will never be okay, intersex, trans, or cis. never ask a stranger about their genitals. EVER. casual transphobia and intersexism will never be okay. learn to spot it when you see it, and eradicate it on sight.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend because he’s hypersexual?

nsft/nsfw warning - mentions of sex, manipulation, etc.

🦷

(to find later)

I (19m) just broke up with my boyfriend (18m) of over one and a half years last night.

For context, I’m demisexual and he’s known this from the very beginning. Plus, I’m a transgender guy and when we first got together I was at the very start of my transition and still extremely uncomfortable with my body. So, sex was just kind of out of the question, and I made that very clear.

Nonetheless, whenever we cuddled he still got all touchy, kissed my neck and begged me to take my clothes off, etc. Whenever I protested, he got all whiny and did that weird puppy eyes thing. He usually gave up after a while and apologized, but it always left me feeling guilty and like I was depriving him of something.

After a while, he told me he’s hypersexual and he’s sorry if he gets a little "too much" sometimes. But he reassured me that he loves me and even if we never get intimate, he wants to be with me. I believed him.

Still, his behavior continued and after a while I just gave in and took my clothes off for him, let him kiss me… you get it. When I put my shirt back on I asked if he was happy now and he got all upset. He was pouting and told me that he never forced me to do anything and he wants me to enjoy these things too. It’s true, he never forced me to do anything but he always got all touchy feely and it made me feel like I had to give him something.

As the relationship progressed, I just resorted to giving him oral to satisfy him but he always insisted on returning the favor. The thing is, I was his first relationship and he didn’t have much experience. So, whenever he tried anything, I barely felt anything. Even with tons of communication and showing him how to do things. It just left me feeling gross and unsatisfied.

At some point, I decided I had to let him do the full thing. (stupid, I know, but I’m an insecure 19 year old) So, we did it and I hated it. It felt uncomfortable and he didn’t even try to give me any sort of pleasure, he just ran off to take a shower after he finished. I cried in his bed that night but never told him about it. I just pretended to be okay and to like this stuff.

When I told him I wanted to get top surgery, he begged me not to get it or to get the keyhole procedure so I don’t lose feeling in my nipples. Because it’s the only way he’s ever been able to give me pleasure. I don’t really wanna spell it out, but yeah.

When I told him that being shirtless during the nasty made me wanna cry, he told me that he never asked me to take my shirt or binder off. I just did it. But the thing is, I did it because he liked it. Never once did he apologize or comfort me. It just made me feel disgusting and extremely dysphoric.

He always blamed all his behavior on being hypersexual and not being able to control himself when I’m so cute. Or whatever…

So, I made up my mind to break up with him. The thing is, I know all of this makes him sound horrible. But he was genuinely a good boyfriend and I love him a lot. So, I feel like shit for breaking up with him just because he’s hypersexual. I tried to talk to him about it and find a solution, but he never changed despite promising to do so. I don’t really see what else I could’ve done.

Am I the asshole for this? I’d appreciate it if other hypersexual people could give me their opinions on this! Because I don’t want to believe that this is how hypersexual people usually act.

What are these acronyms?

[lilyblisslys]

One week post breast augmentation!

Boob status: the swelling is still pretty rough on one side so they don’t really look symmetrical, but that’s normal! They won’t really look “normal” (for a given value of normal) until up to a month or so in (and they won’t settle into their final place for 3 months at least, which is when I was told I could/\should shop for bras)

This has made me a little dysphoric, but some of that too is just…being in pain and discomfort for a week, so I can’t take the time to do my hair and makeup or put on a nice outfit or anything.

Body Status: I overdid it yesterday trying to help with housework (bad Lily!) and boiling water since our tap is fucked up, and I woke up in pain today :/ other than that it’s mostly just tenderness and discomfort-especially if I sit upright or lay down for too long. I get tired much quicker still, although that’s getting better.

Miscellaneous discomforts: car rides suck ass. I can’t really easily cuddle with my lover. My sex drive has perked back up but sex isn’t really doable quite yet. My brain is extremely unhappy with my inability to help with housework as much as I normally do :/

Things to look forward to: my tits are starting to look more normal! By the end of the week I think I’ll feel good enough about them to take some photos, hopefully. I was able to put a shirt on this weekend. And starting Friday I get to have my lover massage lotion into my tits every day 😇

[orange-orchard-system]

I'm honestly kind of amused by the idea that purposeful fusion is murder. Like, both of us consented. We had long discussions about it. And we're both still here, just now as one. It just reminds me of the idea that all BDSM is abuse – the idea of mutual consent and desire seems impossible for these people to grasp; it can never be that both of us wanted this, it must always be that one of us forced the other into it. But since both of us consented, following this logic, it turns into a sort of... double murder-suicide? Except the victims are still both alive.

It also mimics the idea that transition "kills" a person because they've "changed too much". Again, we are both still here. We are just different. We have merged our identities into one being, and the only reasons we still use "we" is because we like it more and feel it illustrates a point here. And the interesting thing is... You're accusing us of harming each other, but you don't actually care about any harm we go through, do you? If you did, you would listen when we tell you that prior to fusion, both of us were listless, dysphoric, tormented by our lack of solid identity and self. You would know that fusion made us stable and able to feel happy. You wouldn't suggest that our recovery is an act of selves-harm and violence. You would wait two seconds before opening your mouth and discover that we went through careful steps to ensure our fusion would lessen our suicidality – and it did! Being fused, we "both" want to die a lot less, now! Because we fused, we can actually enjoy life now, and have a greater chance of sticking around to see it... If you actually cared about the harm and pain a system like us can go through, you would see exactly how similar what you're saying is to how transphobes talk about transition. You wouldn't make up this narrative that something extremely good for our health is murder.

These people are also generally... very pushy about their own philosophical beliefs. Sorry, but no, not everyone sees their own selves as individual people. And even those that do reserve the right to autonomy; if your argument is that people in a system are not allowed to make major decisions about their own life precisely because they're in a system... If you think people in a system cannot possibly consent to major life changes, unlike singlets... whoopsiedoopsie! Sounds like you're just a regular pluralphobe to me!

I'd listen to this accusation more if it didn't sound like the exact same shit TERFs and bigots in general say. There's no need to listen to someone who makes wild accusations due to completely misunderstanding a situation and tries to push their own beliefs onto everybody else. You're indistinguishable from a pushy Evangelical, right down to the "(x action that doesn't actually end any lives and in facts contributes to saving them) is murder!"

... Also, I find it funny to imagine them yelling at a TV whenever the trope of body merging comes on. "Don't these screenwriters know that's murder?!"

So, yeah, I find this whole notion so very, very silly.

[cannibalizedlove]

hi hi! Could I request an Elio x ftm reader smut? One where reader has had top surgery but not bottom and Elio is expressing that he doesn't care, if anything prefers it for "convenience"? Just him being himself with a boy he loves, like causal dominance (making sure he's cared for 24/7) leading up to smut? I hope i'm not being too detailed 😭

Hi hi! Thank you for your request! You weren’t being too detailed, I enjoy more fleshed out requests so I can fully support your needs! This is my first time writing smut, so I hope it isn’t too terrible!

Just the way you are.

Information and warnings — FTM reader, fluffy smut, dysphoric reader, Elio being horny as always, soft dom/whiney dom Elio.

“Don’t you think it’s weird?” You asked your boyfriend, Elio. The two of you were laying down on his couch, cuddling him as he read his book with his free hand gently caressing your hair.

“Hmm? What’s weird, sweetheart?” Elio put his book on his leg, pages side down, turning his head to give you his full attention.

“You know, I have one of the surgeries but not the other? I just don’t feel like it’s very.. manly I guess.” You admitted, embarrassed about your body.

You had your top surgery done earlier in the year, and were extremely happy with the results. Your chest had always given you extreme dysphoria so having it done was like a weight taken off your shoulders. Elio was so happy with your new found confidence, and constantly reminded you how much of a handsome boy you were.

He made it his mission to make sure you were happy with your body, and would take you swimming just so he could compliment you on how sexy you were with your shirt off.

Whenever you were feeling dysphoric, he would always bring you a bowl of fresh picked fruit from the garden, and would tell you that you were the most gorgeous man he’d ever met. He’d play you gorgeous songs on his piano, and would always write you notes about how handsome you were.

“Amore mio, that’s not weird at all. If you’d like to have the surgery, I’ll be here every step of the way to help you recover, but it’s not a problem with me at all. If anything, I kinda like it, easy access.”

Elio added a wink at the end and kissed your neck, making your cheeks flush a dangerous red color. He recklessly threw his book on the coffee table and began attacking your neck with more kisses.

“Elio..” You whimpered out, earning a smirk you could feel against you. “Easy access? What do you mean?” You asked breathlessly, your body heating up by the second as he nipped your ear and sucked on your neck, resulting in a decently sized purple splotch.

“I can so easily take my boy whenever I want, you’re always soaked for me. I can bend you over whenever I want, angel.” Elio whispered softly, rubbing your hips gently.

As you whined, he looked up at you with pleading eyes, silently asking for your permission to go any further. When you nodded yes, he jumped for the opportunity like a hungry animal.

Elio had thrown his shirt off over his head, and crashed his lips into yours, biting your bottom lip in the process. You felt like the room was a hundred degrees, and you began to feel yourself soaking through your boxers.

He slowly snaked his hands into your swim trunks, rubbing circles around your clit. His lips moved down to your chest and left love bites all around your nipples, softly sucking on the both of them.

You felt like you were melting, you were moaning incessantly and tugging on Elio’s hair with enough grip to have him groaning along with you. Your back was arched, with your eyes screwed shut. Elio ceased all action just to take in the sight of you.

“Fuck baby, you’re such a gorgeous boy. My gorgeous boy.” Elio moaned out, undoing his shorts and sliding them down. He was now sitting in between your legs, with your ass on his lap, allowing your crotch to be on full display.

Elio hastily removed your boxers, practically drooling at the sight of you unclothed, just for him. He brought his thumb back to your clit, and you grabbed onto him, squeezing his forearm while whining out his name.

He took off his own boxers, his hard on hitting his lower stomach. “Is this okay? Are you ready?” He asked, cupping your cheek. Elio knew about your insecurities with your body, so he would always check up on you and make sure it was okay for him to go any further.

“Yes more than okay, please, I need you.” You pleaded, and with that, he pushed his entire length into you.

“Fuck, angel. You’re so fucking good.” Elio cried out, wasting no time and instantly slamming back into you. At this point you were an incoherent mess, you were babbling nonsense and all you could fully say was his name.

“You feel incredible baby boy, you’re so perfect.” Elio bent over and kissed you, only breaking the kiss to let out whiney moans and to whisper compliments to you. Your legs started to shake and you swore you saw stars, your nails dug into his back and released on his length inside you.

Soon after your undoing, his hips began to stutter, and his pace was becoming slower and slower. One last thrust and he had came all over the both of your chests. His curls were stuck to his forehead, and his eyes were half lidded. Elio took his boxers from the floor and wiped the both of you down, tossing them back down to wash later.

Your face was completely red, and your mouth hung open, completely fucked out, Elio’s favorite state of you. You pressed your forehead to his and held him close, panting together.

“You’re my boy, I love you just the way you are.” Elio said with a kiss.

[barbthebuilder]

hey, it's alright if you cant answer this because i understand!

I'm having trouble with what my gender identity is, I'm afab, and i have always thought i was cis until early 2024. in jan i experimented with being genderfluid, as i realised how much i loved presenting masc and how it made me feel so much better being masc.

shortly after that, i had a weird feeling constantly while presenting masc or fem, where if i was fem i would just feel cis, but if i presented masc i would feel like i'm still cis but just dressing up. my solution to this was to choose a different name to the very feminine one i was assigned, so i chose charlie, which in my head is a very feminine name but also very masculine, based on the people ive seen with that name.

i decided on the lable nonbinary for a bit. (maybe 3 months or so) but when i was using just they/them pronouns i felt like i was missing out on the other genders i wanted to be, so i used they/he/she for a bit, which was fine.

i realised soon after that nobody was using he/him for me, so i dropped it because it felt like a waste and just used they/she, which made me extremely dysphoric, so i went back to they/them.

im currently using they/them, nonbinary, and dressing masc daily, (not wearing any makeup to avoid any dysphoria at all) BUT im also a lesbian. ive been a lesbian for about 2 years and im certain that i am, but can i be enby and lesbian ??? or any other lable and lesbian because thats another thing thats been making me feel weird about my gender

i know this is pretty confusing so if you dont know then i get it, no worries!! i hope you have a nice day :D

Yo, gender identity stuff can be pretty confusing so I don't balme you for feeling uncertian about all of this.

The experience of feeling like you basically fake being genderfluid is something I have dealt with in the early days too. You have identified as a woman for a very long time. It's natural that there is a part if you that rejects nonbinary thinking. You're just not used to thinking about yourself in other ways.

That too shall pass. Feeling like you're faking is temporary if you sureound yourself with good support system and reprogram binary thinking. That happened to me at least.

I can totally relate to feeling like you miss out on something while using they/them. I am personally fine with those pronouns but I much rather be called she or he.

Now, I want you to notice something. You expressed that the best set of pronouns for you that you experimented with was she/they/he. You stuck with those, however people did not use he/him for you. I said: "it felt like a waste". A waste of what? I wonder if there are other feelings involved here too. It just bugs me that you have changed such a big part of yourself beacuse of how everybody was treating you. Maybe the pronouns are not the problem here but how others use them on you.

You seem to be very uncomfortable with she/they and not fully yourself with they/them. Seems like the masculine part of you is a very important one. I don't think it would be true to yourself to reject or supress it.

I think the problem with realising what your gender identity is will be connected to your desire to conform. Don't ask yourself "will they accept me?" but "will I accept me?".

For example, you seem to be very strongly connected to your lesbian label but here you are asking complete stranger if you can use it. Are you a lesbian? If you want to, then yes. Don't try to be what others perceive you to be. Just. Be.

I'm not sure if this was helpful lol. Let me know if you want to! I'm always open to the chatter. Sending lots of love!! <33

[madmilkproductionplant]

medic is hot as fuck. that’s why i made this blog. welcome to the medic appreciation zone. other mercs will make an appearance as well :]

MINORS AND AGELESS* DNI. this is an 18+ blog. i dont wanna hear it. no minors. no ageless. talk to the hand 🤚

*if you don’t want to put your age on your blog, i’m fine with you messaging it to me. i just need to know it somehow

favorite ships:

mediscout/blunt trauma💕⚾️💉

heavymedic/red oktoberfest

heavymediscout/blunt force trauma

cheavyscout/sprint and steel

engiemedic/science party

scout x scout/a headache/scunt double

but i enjoy most ships except spyscout!! 🍅🍅🍅

cuntboy extraordinaire. scuntboy even. switch, leaning just slightly on the subby side. pre-everything trans man, professional fag (bisexual) and absolute hoe for medic from tee eff two. like it’s a problem. uh

call me RED scout. BLU scout can suck my cock. either in a hate way or in a homo way i don’t really care

transphobes transmeds yada yada screw off chucklenuts this blog aint for you

more info under cut

things i WILL post about:

lots of mediscout, lots of transmascs, forcemasc, medical kink, examinations, restraints, edging, denial, overstim, begging, basically a lot of pathetic sopping wet guys because i am one lmao

i also enjoy sounding. no it doesn’t hurt when you do it right. yes it can be dangerous when you do it wrong. be safe and be smart

pain, cnc, light somno and gunplay will make occasional appearances. they will be properly tagged

things i WILL NOT post about:

torture, angst, actual rape, drugs (except weed), self-harm, extreme gore, unsanitary kinks (except occasional bladder play, MAYBE), inflation, weight gain/loss (besides some muscle mass gain forcemasc stuff), extremely unrealistic stuff, fauxcest/incest, feet and general yucks like that, along with forcefem and detrans because it makes me extremely dysphoric.

trigger-wise, things i currently tag for (please feel free to ask me to tag other stuff):

gunplay, intox of any kind, cnc, somno, any pain that’s more than some slapping or biting

asks open! be weird in my inbox :]

stuff i’m ok with being called: scout, dude/bud/other casual masc terms, slut, fag/faggot, babe or cuntboy if you’re feeling fancy. please don’t call me anything more feminine than that. i am a man. do not call me fakeboy i will maul you

bodily terms i’m ok with: cock, cocklet, dick, hole, cunt, chest, masc terms

bodily terms i’m not ok with: clit, vagina, lips(cunt-related not mouth lmao), vulva, labia, boobs, breasts, tits, fem terms in general

original horny yapping will be under #bonkposting

other yapping under #modposting

jokes under #comedyposting

ask tag #mad milk asks

idea tag #mad milk brainstorming

reblog tag #mad milk arbys

(get it. cos ‘rbs’ sounds like arbys. i’ll leave now)

[ftmtftm]

I hear anon's pain, but as a VERY dysphoric trans guy who needed both hormones and top surgery to finally feel stable emotionally, it saddens me that anon is shit talking non-dysphoric trans ppl.

One of the people who helped me the most while I recovered from surgery is a non-dysphoric person. They're not our enemy. They're our siblings. It sounds like you've had some terrible experiences with extremists, and I am pissed off for you that someone could say such hurtful things, but becoming the opposite extreme is not helpful. Everyone deserves to have access to gender affirming care, but some people simply don't want medical interventions. And that's also okay.

I'll give a few examples that were key to making me step away from the transmed mentality:

1) I talked with a post-transition woman who had sought all the treatment she wanted. She was non-dysphoric (for the most part - visiting family was hard). I had always been told that dysphoria was a requirement to me trans, but she helped me understand that, once your gender is affirmed enough, the dysphoria doesn't occupy so much of your mind. Dysphoria is not what makes someone trans. Misery is not all we are.

2) My closest friend briefly believed themselves to be trans and sought HRT. She loved some of the effects of testosterone, specifically bottom growth. It helped them reclaim a part of their body that felt dysphoric due to trauma. However, she decided to stop taking T because she identified more with womanhood than manhood. My understanding is that they still feel more androgynous than a cis woman, but do not consider herself to be trans. She did detransition, but not in a transphobic TERFy way. This taught me that being trans is also not a requirement for gender dysphoria. Medical intervention helps cis folks too.

3) After I had been on hormones a while, my gender evolved. I considered myself a man for a long time, while I was steeped in transmed ideology. But when I first heard of being trans, the label I felt drawn to was genderfluid. But as I became an older teen, I settled on being a trans man because I so desperately wanted to be called masculine terms. To have a flat chest, a beard, and deeper voice. But as I started gaining more of these traits, I felt myself wanting to have androgynous features too. Now I call myself by multiple labels. Trans guy, transmasculine, and nonbinary are the "offical" terms I use, but in a sense I still like the genderfluid label! I just never feel like a woman or a girl, unless the song "girls just wanna have fun" comes on, but that's another story lol. But usually I feel fluid in my masculinity. I'm just some guy, but I'm not a man. These days I even do drag! I could never have imagined being this way when I was a transmed, because all I saw was gender as a medical thing that had to be treated. Having fun with my gender made me happier, and I'm so glad I didn't force myself into the "male box"

I may not admittedly understand all xenogenders or neopronouns or whatever else. But I don't have to understand to respect it. As long as they're not actively causing harm, then it's not a problem. The people who have said hurtful things to you ARE a problem, but not inherently because of their gender. They're a problem because they're causing harm. Don't make things worse by causing harm back to others. Break the cycle!

!!!!

[gayhenrycreel]

what the fuck is wrong with this community?

why is there a requirement of trans men being subs? combined with the demonization of surgery, this cuntboy fetish thing kinda hurts. i never see any appreciation for, like... any dicks on men. unless said man is skinny, but also muscular to the point that im concerned for his mental health.

there are two (2) types of gay men allowed in the queer community: hairy muscular masculine cis man, and objectified "trans man" who is always white, fem, has no body hair at all, and is treated as a woman in every way. also he has to have a misgendering kink. its a requirement.

this would be fine if there was ANYTHING ELSE ALLOWED.

even irl i don't know any masc queer people at all. i feel very alone. does the queer community hate masculinity? i dont want to go into a relationship if its expected that im fine with being a submissive woman. i dont want to have sex before phalloplasty.

i go into a queer space (any space, irl or online) and everyone is talking about makeup and offering me some and calling me "girl" and theres this idea that men are evil. theres nothing wrong with femininity but radical feminism is never okay. the last queer space i was in irl had this one person who made jokes about how men suck and EVERYONE AGREED WITH HER.

everytime they have an event people offer me makeup and I GET CALLED A GIRL AGAIN.

even worse, the fucking coordinator tried to convince me to preserve my fucking egg cells after i said i want my entire reproductive system removed and stomped on. then she called me "girl".

and i said i didnt like makeup but people just said "are you sure?" like i dont know what makes me suicidally dysphoric.

i cant go into a space for people like me without my gender expression being questioned.

its bizarre that a cishet doctor would listen to me more about my sexual autonomy than a fellow trans person who says i might change my mind about HAVING A WHOLE FUCKING PERSON GROWING INSIDE ME. i have panic attacks about that. i have nightmares. and then she said i should still consider having sex, and when i said i don't want to she told me ill "meet the right person one day". i have a medical condition that makes penetration EXTREMELY painful, and when i try other holes i cant fucking feel anything, and no i dont like being pressured into sex because, shockingly, im not interested in getting raped.

i wont even consider sex until i get every surgery i can get. i just want a relationship that never goes past cuddles. i wish people would consider that i want to be a cis man, especially after ive already said thats what i want.

the cis people in my life always respect my gender. a lot of trans people in my life call me "girl" and tell me shit like "youll get to a point mentally where you dont need surgery to be happy".

i actually had someone say that to me. i said that not having t and surgery makes me suicidal, and they just told me i dont need it. then they said surgery is not necessary, even though ive wanted it for longer than i knew it was an option.

(dont worry gaylord and twobruhsinahottub im not talking about you)

[viiiiiiiiiin]

Hello dude, what's up lol. I haven't done that many requests so I hope I don't mess this up. Can you write some comfort regarding a disabled trans FTM reader and the kid pirates, mainly involving Kid and Killer? All platonic. I know it's quite specific but the pain of my cEDS is killing me right now and I'd be great to read something along those lines. Being trans and crippled can lead to a lot of dissociation regarding your body, it feels foreign to you in an extreme and debilitating way, what better than to cope with my two favorite fictional characters lol

Kid Pirates with a trans!disabled!reader

Includes: The Kid Pirates , FTM Reader with cEDS

Important Info: I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. I took a long time researching this so I hope it's accurate.

A / N: Awww I hope you feel better :((. I did a LOT of research for cEDS and I REALLY hope I you the facts right. Please , please comment or message me if I got any information wrong or anything of the sort.

None of them truly understood you. You were strong , so why did you try not to fight ?

The first person to ask you about it was Killer. You explained to him that you had cEDS and he was confused as hell.

You explained the symptoms. You bruised easily , your skin is velvety / dough like , minor trauma can split your skin , etc. You explained that being in fights could put you at risk.

You also explain what it was.

He understood. He was more that willing to accommodate for you. He wasn't a monster. A pirate , yes. But not a monster.

Anytime anything happened , he was there. He made sure to assist you as much as he could without making you depend on him. You were your own person after all. He knew you wouldn't like it if he babied you.

Kid caught on and asked Killer about it. You were strong , so why was he acting this way with you ??

Killer tried his best to explain your condition and why he did the things he did. Kid still didn't understand.

Killer had to explain it in dumb terms for him to understand. At that , he also tried to help.

You were part of his crew. He may not say it much , but his crew means everything to him. Especially you and Killer since you 3 were childhood friends.

The crew learned from Killer as well and did their best to help while also trying to make you feel like yourself.

Killer was your go - to whenever you were in pain or felt dysphoric. He would sit with you for however long you needed him to and would comfort you as best as he could.

It was during one of these sessions that he learned about you being trans.

He may not have shown it , but he felt a sense of pride at the fact that you were so trusting in him.

Kid wasn't the best at comforting words , but he did sit with you and Killer sometimes. He let's you hangout in his office while he tinkers with whatever thing he's working on.

It's then that you guys get into deeper conversations.

He also learns you're trans but doesn't know what the hell it is. You had to explain you were a girl and now , you're a guy. Top surgery or not , he silently promised himself that he would make sure everyone respected you for the gender you went by.

If anyone said anything about your disability or gender , he'd beat the shit out of them.

Even if he wasn't good with comfort , he was willing to defend his friend to the ends of the world.

So was the rest of the crew.

They would help you as best as they could. They adored you and cared about you , so why would they not ?

Heat and Wire would be the ones to help you whenever you went through any pain or dysmorphia because of feminine issues.

Killer and Kid , however , we're your go to whenever it came to any body related stuff.

They would talk to you like you were on the same level as them. Not any less and not anymore. You felt like you truly belonged to the Kid Pirates.

When it came to fights , you were benched. You were more of a strategist and mixologist.

Though you are different from them , Kid and Killer truly care for you. You 3 are childhood friends. They would never give you up because of your own problems.

One time , you guys went to a bar and you got harassed. They grabbed your wrist and you bruised REALLY fast.

Because of that , Kid and Killer beat the person's ass and held you by their side for the rest of the night.

In their eyes , you're one of them. It doesn't matter if you struggle with something or not. Theres always someone to help you and they would never leave you alone.

[prismatoxic]

people who get pissy about trans headcanons are so wild. like any headcanons really, esp queer ones, but like... how is a character being trans hurting you... and yes that includes "being trans in a way I don't like", I see you, gatekeepers

I have my preferences. I have headcanons I don't enjoy or avoid, trans ones included. but that's a me thing. I support everyone's headcanons as long as they're not trying to enforce said headcanons on other people.

all that to say: making ptk chilchuck a messy, clueless trans man who isn't medically transitioned but did what he could anyway (legal gender change, voice training) is really important to me. he's been pregnant. he thinks about his past in she/her terms. he's defensive of his masculinity but is trying to trust that people see him the right way because being too defensive bit him in the ass once. he's not really dysphoric, but he used to be so dysphoric that he could barely be intimate with his spouse. he's not perfect pretty fully-transitioned rep, nor is he trans in passing. it's extremely important to the story, and it's a little rough around the edges.

that's something that matters to me: exploring this character I know through a lens I can understand. jals chilchuck has top surgery and is on T; a chilchuck for an upcoming au actively wears a binder. I want to explore transness via chilchuck in a lot of ways. (I have some cischucks in the works/planned as well.) and I'm not saying fully transitioned or vaguely trans characters are bad--far from it. what I'm saying is, I create what speaks to me, what makes me happy. what I enjoy.

people who headcanon characters in ways they understand or relate to can do so in any number of ways, for any number of reasons. it's not hurting anyone, least of all some dipshit who doesn't even want to read the story or look at the art. gender identity is so vast and varied across so many lives. it's so cool to see how people handle it, what they come up with. what matters to them. how they imprint upon the worlds they play in.

even in cases of things I want nothing to do with, it's so cool to me that those things are being made anyway. I just don't live in the same world as people who feel the need to tell someone "I don't like your headcanon, therefore it's wrong".

and, well, y'know. when people single out queer headcanons (and trans ones especially) it does come across as a little phobic, doesn't it.