#and say the most unhinged shit

[i-will-sing-no-requiem]

after almost 10 months i have only one episode left in my lost rewatch with my friend

should i post my collection of the best quotes my friend and i texted each other while watching? is that something people want to see?

[augustus816]

logan sergeant is american so like… i kinda expected him to be a little strange and like he is, but only in the normal frat boy way…

BUT GOOD GOD no one prepared me for alex albon???? WHAT IS THIS MAN ON ???

every time i see a team torque clip its progressively more out of context and progressively more corcerning… like mr sargeant do u need to go into witness protection??

[daemonmage]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

After finding out Bruce is alive.

Dick: “Listen, if Tim say something to me I 100 percent believe that he believes it. So I believe it too.”

Tim: “I blew up several league of assassin bases.”

Dick: “I have no way to know if that is true but Tim said it so I believe it.”

[spacedace]

“Hey, I need to get married for bullshit Infinite Realms reasons, you two in?”

“Tt, of course.”

“Sure thing! Do we need to get going for that like, right now? Or later?”

“Eh, like in a couple of hours? The Observants are demanding some Royal Ball or something and they pulled out some stupid old laws out of their collective asses that if I’m not married by the time it starts they can assign me spouses of their choosing, can you fucking believe that shit?”

“Woah, what the hell? Can they even do that?”

“I was under the impression they were only permitted to observe.”

“Right? It’s total crap, but apparently there’s like this super old law on the books and they didn’t bring it up until now when there’s like no time left to try and force me to marry someone they pick.”

“They are training to gain influence over you?”

“Eh, more like they’re trying to get control of my Dad by way of me. But still fucked as hell.”

“So why do you need to marry both of us? Or do you just need to marry one of us and we should play rock paper scissor for it?”

“Technically I only need to marry one of you, but I don’t want them pulling out any loopholes or something. So, it’d be great if one of you could be my consort for my role as Queen of Mirrors, and one could be my consort for my role as Crown Princess. You two can figure who’s who on that all that, I’m good with whatever.”

“Oooh, can I be consort for the Mirror Court? I can annoy Kon more that way.”

“I am amenable to that. Grandfather will have a fit when he learns that I can cut his access to the Pits off at my discretion and there’s nothing he can do about it.”

“Awesome, okay are you two good for meeting up at like, three? We can pop over to my Lair and get everything sorted out there.”

“Works for me, my only class til this afternoon is at one and the professor already said we’re cutting out early because she has to go out of town this weekend.”

“Four would be more agreeable if possible, I have to take Titus to the vet for his checkup.”

“Okay let’s aim for four then. It’s just signing some paperwork, making some quick blood-slash-ectoplasm pacts and swearing a couple binding oaths… Should only take like five or ten minutes?”

“They’re not gonna make you have a huge royal wedding or anything?”

“Nah. Dad keeps things pretty chill so as long as the paperwork is all in order we’ll be good. Though once Auntie Dorathea finds out she’s absolutely gonna make us have one. She loves planning weddings. Swear its what she makes her hoard out of somehow.”

“So long as we have a say in some of the proceedings I have no issue with that eventuality.”

“Same, it sounds like it’d be a fun way to annoy the Observants even more.”

“Don’t for get all the weirdos trying to be my suitors and all that bullshit.”

“We have an accord then. We can reconvene at the usual place.”

“Awesome, you two are the best! I gotta jet and let everyone know and get the ball rolling on the paperwork stuff. See you guys at four!”

With that, Nomad - Stella Phantom, Crown Princess of the Infinite Realms, Queen of Mirrors, Core of the Speedforce and ghostly hero of the Titans and the Justice League - tore a rip in the fabric of space and time and darted out of the room the same way she came. Through the mind-bending tear in reality the eerie, eye-searing green of the Infinite Realms glowed in all its unsettling glory, Phantom Keep a glittering expanse of night sky made solid in the distance.

Jon waved at her cheerfully as Damian gave a nod of farewell before both silently turned their attention back to their respective tablets as the portal closed behind their friend and teammate and the glimpse of the Ghost Zone disappeared again. Completely unbothered by the conversation just held or the life changing implications that came with them.

Jon was humming as he tapped away at something on the screen before him, Damian propping his head up on his fist in vague boredom as he frowned down at the information he was reading.

The rest of the room Nomad had left behind was caught in a frozen, stunned silence in the wake of the baffling conversation they’d all just been witness to. All eyes in the room darted between Flamebird and Pheonix seated calmly at the end of the table, then to the space where Nomad had disappeared to, back to the young men, and then towards the head of the table where Superman and Batman sat looking bewildered and a bit on the verge of heart attacks.

The short status update meeting was about to become much, much longer it seemed.

Though a lot more entertaining.

[incorrect-mighty-nein]

Caduceus: my parents had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later. But once you’ve been mean to someone, they won’t believe the nice anymore. So be nice. Be nice, until it’s time to stop being nice. And then destroy them

The Nein:

Beau: Cad, what the FUCK

[beesarekindaswag]

Accidental Internet Fame

Gothamites filming a bat sighting : "Is that Nightwing? Doing flips for no reason?"

Danny, clutching a milkshake in one hand & scrolling tumblr with the other, passing by, deadpan: "Very acrobatic"

---------

Gotham Reporter after an attack by Mr Freeze : "Rogue, Mr Freeze has finally been defeated by the Batman but not without leaving a trail of destruction in his wake"

Sleep deprived teenager, unfazed : "Who fucked with the thermostat?" (He isn't complaining though, ice boy likes the cold)

--------

Joker, holding a group of hostages whilst doing his dramatic villain thing on livestream : "Tick tock, Batsy!"

The most clown hating teenager coming out of unconsciousness to see this shit : "If I kill you, do you think I'll get arrested or a medal?"

Gotham would 100% give him a medal if he did kill the joker.

--------

Just,,, Danny accidentally becoming this internet meme not as Phantom but as this random twink who keeps appearing in random videos & say either the stupidest or most unhinged shit.

Bonus points if he begins to look into cameras like he's on the office. Pretend his ghost powers let him know when he's being filmed or something and so one day when a rogue says something dumb during a monologue he just looks to where he knows a camera is with a "WTF" face.

[ky00nn]

Mai minakami things

[scarletackrmn]

Tim Drake is the person who sings good in the shower, and outside of it probably sounds terrible

- quote from my wife yesterday

[lets-go-banana-fishing]

Fellas is it gay to randomly start conversations about each other's features,,,,

[asl-bros-incorrect-quotes]

Sabo: There's a snail hugging one of the flower pots, do you want me to dispose of it?

Makino: YES

Sabo: What do I do with it

Makino: Well, you can smash it, or throw it out into the road, or in the garbage can.

Sabo: I've been given permission to smash so I will smash

Makino: You can also sprinkle salt on the ground where it will slither, and watch it shrivel

[mumblesplash]

the fact that doctors can just Recommend Weight Loss with no instructions beyond ‘eat healthier/less’ is actually insane to me, i lost weight on purpose ONCE and it took me like 6 years to recover a semi-normal relationship with food and hunger

[bitethedevil]

Does anyone else have a really hard time when it comes to responding to people’s comments on the internet sometimes?

I feel it especially with people’s comments on stuff I’ve written.

Like I am jumping with joy. I physically smile whenever someone leaves even just a silly little comment on my stuff. I’ve caught myself blushing multiple times because people say nice things about my stuff.

But I don’t want to be weird about it so I always end up just writing a lil “thank you ♥️” in response.

Anyway, if you ever comment on my stuff just know that I actually want to give you a lil kiss on your forehead and tell you that I love you for it, I’m just horrible at expressing it.

[mewtwo24]

Okay but like. Two things about the volume 8 statue [redacted] chapter.

Firstly. By god no amount of "yeah it was unhinged" comments on this website prepared me for whatever the fuck that was. I need at least 5 business days to process.

Second, was I the only one who read that scene as:

Hua Cheng, teeming with self-satisfaction to see Mu Qing near writhing with scorned disgust and fury: this was a 100% successful trip

Xie Lian: our statues are fucking in Mu Qing's palace oh god oh fuck what do you m e a n successful

Hua Cheng, smirk getting even bigger: this was a 100% successful trip

[cyle-stuff]

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve seen Matpat shipped with a fnaf character I’ve have 2 nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice

[plantaagomaajor]

Only Friends hierarchy of needs

(and then they need to end up together in the most mutually unhinged and codependent relationship possible a la HIStory 1: Obsessed)

[jjs-brainrot]

The dichotomy between non-VTuber fans being completely flabbergasted by how much of a trashfire the MC of VTuber Legend is, and VTuber fans going "Oh shit, this a fairly accurate representation of the scene! A little tame tho, the MC is probably only a 6 or 7/10 on the unhinged scale for corpo vtubers (3 or 4 if you include the indie/indie+ VTuber scene)" is absolutely hilarious to me.

This series very much understands its subject matter.