Doubt
(Ghost x Soap)
Chapter 28 excerpt from Don't Let Me Go on ao3.
After Ghost goes to the gym to let out some anger, Soap helps him relax when he returns. But doubt starts to enter Ghost's mind.
“What is that?” Ghost asked, the object partially obstructed by the covers from his angle. Soap picked it up and lowered it into Ghost’s field of view – it was a portable radio.
Its body was exclusively made of a reddish-brown wood, the multitude of scuffs and scrapes on it showing its old age. The grain of the wood extended long, natural streaks along the length of the radio. The speaker took up the majority of the bottom left corner with two knobs next to it: one for the volume and one to manually tune the frequencies displayed along the top with a red ticker. It was definitely vintage.
“Old radio I found hiding in storage,” Soap answered.
“It still works?”
“Well, it wasn’t until I started playing around with it. I’ve been scavenging around to find batteries and other small parts it needed for a couple days. I was actually just about to test it out before you came back.”
Soap took the radio back and Ghost heard it turn on with a distinct click. After a second of silence, dull static tumbled out from the speaker. As Soap turned the dial back and forth, the static flowed in and out like a rolling hill, becoming louder and softer at random. Distorted voices occasionally cut through the noise in clear but short snippets before being drowned out by static again.
Suddenly, a loud puff of static sounded then a clear melodic guitar began to play. It wasn’t amazing quality – it sounded like it was coming from down a tunnel – but it worked. (x)
Soap huffed out a laugh, clearly proud of his achievement.
“Impressive,” Ghost commented as Soap rested the radio back on the bed.
Ghost turned his head back around and shifted his legs so he sat with both feet planted on the ground. He rested his arms on top of his knees and clasped his hands together in front of him.
Soap opened his legs so Ghost was positioned in between them and reached down to press into the muscle, gently massaging Ghost’s shoulders. The firm pressure felt incredible and Ghost dropped his head between his arms in bliss. Soap continued to use his skillful hands to find the knots and roll them out.
In the calm silence between them, Ghost’s ears picked up the familiar guitar tune playing quietly from the radio. He recognized it as soon as the artist started singing. It was Old Man by Neil Young.
Old man, look at my life.
I’m a lot like you were.
“I know I’m probably not as good as you,” Soap admitted, no doubt referring to the massage. Ghost continued to melt into the way his hands felt rubbing into his shoulders.
“No,” Ghost asserted. “It’s nice.”
Old man, look at my life.
Twenty-four and there's so much more.
Live alone in a paradise,
That makes me think of two.
“It’s the least I can do. Every now and then an old man gets sore,” Soap said cheekily, having caught onto the lyrics.
“Old man?” Ghost said in disbelief. “You don’t even know my age do you?”
Soap hummed. “Not exactly, but being an old man is more of a mentality than an age.”
“I could easily kick your arse.”
“Oh, you say such sweet things to me,” Soap joked. Ghost could hear he was smiling.
Ghost shook his head and chuckled under his breath. Soap’s hands moved from his shoulders, inward towards his neck. He gently scratched at the base of the mask causing Ghost to sigh contently. Noticing this, Soap slid a few fingers underneath Ghost’s mask and scratched at the nape of his neck.
Love lost, such a cost.
Give me things that don't get lost.
Like a coin that won't get tossed,
Rolling home to you.
After a few seconds, Soap slid one finger up the side of Ghost’s head near his ear. He paused, silently asking for permission. With a gentle nod, Ghost allowed him, the unspoken trust thick between them.
With Ghost’s head still dipped between his legs, Soap slowly slid off the mask. Once it was fully off, Soap let his fingers run through Ghost’s hair, gingerly shaking it out.
There was no one else in the world that Ghost would allow himself to be this vulnerable with. No one he would ever allow to get this close to him. With the mask removed, Ghost felt like he was missing a layer of protection – he was missing one of his walls. Anyone who had gotten lucky enough to remove Ghost’s mask had then been subsequently unlucky enough to no longer be breathing.
Doubt started to enter his mind.
“Why aren’t you scared?” Ghost asked, uncertainty biting at his words.
“Of what?” Soap said lightly.
“Me.”
Soap chuckled quietly, as if the question were utterly ridiculous. “I’ve never been afraid of you, Ghost.”
He said it with such conviction.
“Why?” Ghost persisted, although he wasn’t sure what answer he was hoping to hear.
“Are you trying to convince me that I should be?”
“Maybe.”
Soap was quiet for a moment, tangling his fingers deep in Ghost’s hair, grabbing the strands in his palm, and gently tugging upwards.
Old man, take a look at my life, I'm a lot like you.
I need someone to love me the whole day through.
Ah, one look in my eyes and you can tell that's true.
“Your hands may be lethal in a fight, that’s true,” Soap responded, clearly trying to be precise with his words, “but I’ve also experienced how gentle their touches truly are.”
“What about before?”
Soap was quiet for a few seconds again, thinking of how to answer. “Hmmm. I just… I don’t know. You cared even though you pretended not to. You cared a lot. You always put everything of yourself into everything you did. I thought that there was something more to you that you let on. It’s hard to exactly describe it really, but I felt drawn to you.”
“Drawn is right…” Ghost said with a lighter tone. “You wouldn’t ever leave me alone.”
Soap leaned forward to speak close to Ghost’s ear. “Do you want me to leave you alone?”
“No,” Ghost admitted. Soap pulled back.
“Where’s this coming from?”
“Nowhere,” Ghost lied. Soap didn’t respond, clearly not believing him. Rather than challenging it, Soap moved one of his hands to trace the edge of Ghost’s temple with a small sigh.
An abrupt knock at the door made them both quickly look up. Soap instantly held out Ghost’s mask for him to take as Ghost walked a few feet away, sliding it over his head in a smooth motion. As he positioned it properly on his face again, Soap opened the door.
Full chapter a03.
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woke up from a dead sleep last night realizing I could make soroku flavored pitch pearl and no one could stop me
edit: you know what? I'm feral and I won't apologize. more under the cut bc this is my house
I slammed this out all at once so I apologize for the quality but I'm having EMOTIONS
so imagine. bc of the way Danny was quickly resuscitated, his ghost only barely started forming. With the excess blast of ectoplasm from the portal being created, that little whisp was given form even after Danny's soul returned to his body.
except this ghost (Phantom) slowly comes into consciousness while trapped in Danny's body. they're separate entities sharing one body, but Phantom doesn't really have a sense of self right away. he pieces together vague fragments of Danny's memory to get a basic understanding of the world, and is mostly just observing like a backseat passenger.
Phantom starts reflexively protecting Danny, his powers and instincts bleeding through when his emotions are high. Danny doesn't really transform, and his personality doesn't totally shift that much at first because Phantom’s mind isn't complex yet. but as time goes on, and Danny has tense conversations with ghosts, Phantom realizes that's what he is. he's a ghost, somehow trapped in his old body. and even now, this early on, he already feels separate. he doesn't have all the memories Danny has.
this slowly turns into horror. into rage. sorrow, mourning a life he never got and will never get to have. forever trapped behind the eyes of someone else, never able to interact with the world. Phantom's rage eventually boils over until it allows him short bursts of taking over Danny's body. it starts out small–a stray hand moving without his consent, knees locking up, ghost abilities going awry. Danny can start feeling emotions that don't belong to him. get vague impressions, almost hears a voice inside him.
and eventually, Phantom is able to fully take over. this is when Danny “transforms". at first, Danny blacks out because his consciousness isn't used to being shoved into the back seat. but eventually, he's awake for these “episodes", trapped in the back of his mind while Phantom controls his body. this only happens when ghost stuff is happening, when Phantom feels threatened enough. he's not protecting Danny, he's protecting himself. Phantom knows instinctively that if Danny dies, he dies too. he's not a normal ghost, he wouldn't be freed. he'd simply disappear.
at one point after a fight, Phantom can feel Danny struggling to take back control. and he talks to Danny for the first time, acknowledges he's there. asks how it's fair that Danny is the one that gets to exist. but Phantom is tired and weak, he slips back into the passenger seat.
over the next few days, he's able to start talking to Danny even while he's not driving. though he's not chatty, it's only when necessary. and Danny knows, can feel it across the link between them–Phantom hates him. the ghost he created is desperate to find a way to take over completely. and as time goes on, Danny realizes with horror that it might actually be possible for Phantom to do that. he grows stronger every day, can stay transformed longer, controls Danny's body with much more ease.
it's only through a chance meeting with Frostbite that Danny and Phantom fully learn what happened to them. Danny feels sympathetic towards Phantom now. this isn't a malevolent ghost, it's a person who was never given the chance to live. who's trapped. who has to watch someone else live a life they're just as deserving of.
and Phantom feels that emotion from Danny. is so shocked by it, he doesn't know how to handle it at first. it takes him a while to contemplate, to talk to other ghosts like Frostbite. until one day, Phantom realizes… he feels sympathy for Danny, too.
neither of them asked for this. both of them deserve to live. Danny didn't do anything wrong. they're both villains to each other's story. and if anything… doesn't Phantom owe his life to Danny in the first place?
Phantom takes over less often. Danny doesn't feel hatred from him anymore. anger, yes–but not aimed at him. in fact, Phantom starts controlling their body in little ways in order to protect Danny from things that aren't even dangerous. just to avoid pain that would only affect the human tethered to him.
it isn't long before they're separated, either thanks to another ghost or Danny's parents. they're thrown apart in the middle of a horrific fight, and when Danny sees Phantom's equally shocked expression, he's terrified.
this ghost that hated him for so long–at best, Phantom would leave him defenseless. at worst, surely some part of Phantom still wants to kill him for stealing away his chance for autonomy.
and yet, when fire rains down on them, Phantom risks it all to grab Danny and get them both to safety. they're still both shaken and stunned this is even happening, but Phantom is able to nervously be like shit shit shit okay stay here don't go anywhere or I can't protect you, okay?
after the fight is over and dust settles, Phantom offers Danny his hand. they stare at each other and god if this isn't the weirdest thing. like, uh, okay, what now? they decide to go see Frostbite, who confirms that they're fully separate now. they ask if there's any chance of merging again and Frostbite assures it's impossible.
Phantom asks, even if I overshadowed Danny? or stay real close? yes, it's nothing to worry about. they leave, and back in the quiet of Danny's room, they talk. Phantom isn't sure what to do. now that opportunity is in front of him, he feels paralyzed. Danny does his best to let Phantom know that… they might be separate now, but if he ever wants help or even just a friendly ear, he's here for him.
Phantom is quiet for a while. then says maybe he just needs to rest first. he'll think about it tomorrow. they're both exhausted and injured. Phantom asks quietly… if he could rest in Danny for the night.
Danny's shocked, and–really confused. Phantom blushes and is like I don't know what my haunt is yet, I don't know where to go, but I know… you're kind of my home. now that I know I can leave whenever I want, it's not something bad anymore. I miss feeling your heart next to my core, just a little bit.
and Danny is just as surprised when Phantom overshadows him, then quietly nestles into the passenger seat again. he didn't realize how he got used to feeling Phantom with him. it's a feedback loop of contentedness, and Danny sleeps easily. (they also find out while sharing a body, Danny gets to reap the benefits of Phantom's supernatural healing)
anyway that's all I got for now thank u for coming to my ted talk
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A little while ago while hanging out at the manor for game night, Stephanie introduced the family to another one of her current favorite artist.
This was nothing unusual, Steph had a new favorite artist almost every other week. But this one was different. It wasn't just a single person but a group that called themselves ‘Team Phantom’.
Every song was different as every song was sang by a different person. So there was a song for everyone, including Jason.
He feel in love with the soft smooth voice of ‘The Sister’. Her songs were so dreamy and melancholic, and told stories that he often couldn't understand but made him feel like if he were there doing whatever she was doing. Feeling whatever she was feeling.
It was amazing. Her voice was just so beautiful. So calming. So additive, the way it calmed the pits. He didn't know why but every time her songs played it was like the pits disappeared. And so did ever constant green haze that haunted him.
The sense of clarity he was left with when one of her songs ended was like a fuckin high and he couldn't get enough.
Long after the game night he sought after her music. Her songs. Her voice. It was his medicine and his drug. His addiction. Which sucked because just like every other addiction, withdrawal was a BITCH.
It's been six months since ‘The Sister’ has released a new song. Since ANY of Team Phantom had released any new songs. And it was really suspicious considering how consistent their schedules were. But that was okay, kinda. Life was life and maybe something happened. He'll just listen to her old songs on repeat like he's been doing for the last six months.
Is what he said until they posted a new video to their channel.
It wasn't the 3 to 4 minute animated or stagnant image music video he was uses to. Instead, it was a dark shaking video, as if someone was running. Then bright teal eyes appeared on the screen. Everything stopped for a moment. Then came the still soft and smooth but now trembling voice of ‘The Sister’.
She uttered a single word.
“Help.”
Before it ended and turned black.
It could honestly just be a prank. But something told him other wise.
Before he even decided what course of action he was going to take. A message came in through the family group chat. And from the Demon child no less.
‘We need to help Team Phantom. NOW!!!!!’
Everyone agreed.
And Jason felt very validated that he wasn't the only one secretly addicted to their music.
Now it's time to save Team Phantom.
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