#and validation from external sources

[spotsandsocks]

How do you say I really think you should follow me and chat to me and be my pocket pal because I’m fun with good ideas and I’m even quite funny sometimes and I’ll put good things on your dash and I write nice words in stories that you would most probably enjoy even if you weren’t expecting the dragons without sounding too cocky ?

What’s that? You can’t… Ooops

[sixxxer]

nah i didn't like the finale at all im sorry

[heartavenue]

୨୧ You're NOT Desperate ୨୧

ꨄ˚｡⋆୨୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Hey you, yes you! Stop obsessing over symptoms, and angel numbers, and any other "sign" from the universe. You don't need any of that to tell you what you are; you don't need that validation. You are more than capable of making your dream life happen, YOU. Not a number, not a twitch, not a random picture that popped up on your Pinterest feed. YOU.

You are not desperate, you're not sad and needy looking for someone or something to tell you what you need to hear. You are not desperate, you have infinite power.

Stop relying on validation from external sources you don't need them. Newflash, numbers don't shift your reality, symptoms don't shift your reality. But you know what does? YOU do!

You are the universe, you are powerful, you are GOD, you are everything but someone who can't even assume the life that they want. Do you realize how easy we have it? Anything you could possibly want is yours, if you decide that it is.

And another thing stop stop STOP relying on "symptoms." I hate the fact that the term even came about in the shifting community. The twitching, itching, whatever it may be that you feel is just your body being relaxed/falling asleep. Those are NOT indicators that you are shifting. Why on Earth would you let something/someone else hold YOUR power in their hands? What is it? Are you afraid? Do you not believe that it can be THIS easy for you? Well, it is. Acknowledge that, accept that, assume that, and be that.

Never forget who you are and what you're capable of.

[astrologydray]

Ruler of the 2nd through the houses

when you track the ruler of the 2nd house through the houses, you’re looking at how you make money, where your values lie, what you prioritize, and what brings you a sense of security and self-worth.

1st House 🏡:

I am the resource.

Your body, presence, or identity is a source of value. You might attract wealth through personal branding, entrepreneurship, or just being YOU. Confidence = currency. You naturally radiate value, but must learn to own it.

2nd House 🏡:

Born to build.

This is a powerful placement for money, stability, and long-term growth. You naturally know how to build wealth and manage your resources. You’re probably very grounded and value quality over quantity. Shadow side hoarding, fear of change, or stubbornness.

3rd House 🏡:

Money through the mind.

Your voice, ideas, or communication skills are your goldmine. You might make money through writing, teaching, media, or even tech. You value curiosity, mental stimulation, and versatility. Prone to having scattered energy or difficulty monetizing ideas. Your Strength = quick thinking, adaptability, networking = resource magnet.

4th House 🏡:

Home is the foundation of wealth.

You could inherit money, make money through property, or work from home. Emotional security and family support directly affect your money flow. Your values are deeply rooted in your upbringing.

5th House 🏡:

Creative currency.

You attract money through self-expression, creativity, pleasure, or even romance. Think artists, performers, designers — or people who monetize their passions. You value joy, fun, and being seen. Shadow side here = risky money behavior; tying worth to external validation.

6th House 🏡:

Work = worth.

You build wealth slowly and steadily through dedicated effort, skill development, and service. You might work in healing, wellness, administration, or service industries. You value discipline and reliability. Overworking or tying self-worth to productivity may be a problem for you. Relax and give urself grace.

7th House 🏡:

Money through others.

Your values and income may come through partnerships, collaborations, or clients. Business and romantic relationships affect your money deeply. You value harmony, balance, and reciprocity. Be careful of falling into financial dependency or people-pleasing around money.

8th House 🏡:

The wealth alchemist.

You’re drawn to shared resources, investments, and transformative wealth. You might make money through occult work, finance, psychology, or sex-related fields. Power, trust, and depth play a big role in your money story.

9th House 🏡:

Expand to receive.

You attract abundance through travel, teaching, spirituality, law, or publishing. You value freedom, knowledge, and growth. Belief systems around wealth are HUGE here — mindset is everything.

10th House 🏡:

Public success = personal wealth.

You may gain money and security through career, status, or reputation. You value ambition, recognition, and doing something that matters. This placement often pushes you toward visible leadership or high positions.

11th House 🏡:

Money through the collective.

You earn through networks, innovation, tech, or social causes. Think online businesses, group work, or digital platforms. You value progress, originality, and future-oriented thinking. Be careful of being overreliance on external validation or digital platforms. Your unique ideas, group alignment, big-picture wealth building is where it’s at.

12th House 🏡:

Mystical money flow.

This is the most non-linear placement. You may make money through spiritual work, healing, art, or behind-the-scenes roles. Money may come and go mysteriously, and your values are more ethereal than material.

[honeytonedhottie]

feeling like a 2000's diva⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍦💕

this post is inspired by movies like the house bunny, legally blonde, and all of the ICONIC 2000's movies that radiate major diva energy. if u wanna emulate, and EMBODY that same vibe—bold fashion, flawless beauty, and a carefree attitude—then keep reading cuz in this post we'll dive into that...💬🎀

THE DIVA PLAYLIST ;

every 2000's diva had a personal soundtrack so make ur own! find music from the 2000's era that resonates with u and that u love. personally i feel like i mostly listen to 90's-2000's music anyways so i think im pretty well rounded in music of that era. some of my favorites on my diva playlist are...

ᡣ𐭩 beyonce, mariah carey, britney spears, christina aguilera, brandy, lee hiyori, destiny's child, and ciara

SHOPPING 2000'S "THE MUST HAVES" ;

🌟 low rise jeans

🌟 crop tops and baby tees

🌟 rhinestone embellished accessories

🌟 velour tracksuits

🌟 belly chains

🌟 denim skirts

🌟 halter tops

🌟 sunglasses

BEAUTY TRENDS WE CAN BRING BACK ;

the 2000's was such a great time for beauty and makeup and all things girly and glam! while watching the house bunny two things that captured my attention the most were the makeup and the outfits! the makeup in this movie had lots of...💬🎀

🌟 shimmery eyeshadows - layering a glittery iridescent shade across ur eyeshadow was a MUST

🌟 frosty glossy lips - def one of my favorites, i loved the pale pink lipglosses and nude tones with thick lipgloss like YESS

more on the lips though, the dark lip liner with a lighter lipstick or gloss was the SIGNATURE of this time and i am just THRILLED to see it making a resurgence nowadays cuz it eats...💬🎀

🌟 glossy sleek hair - glossy sleek hair is something i saw a lot of pop stairs from this era doing but in this movie in particular they went with the bombshell hair (big bouncy curls) which i LOVED

🌟 clumpy mascara - layered on mascara for more volume

CONFIDENCE AND CAREFREE ATTITUDE ;

another thing that i love from this era was how carefree and confident all these diva's were. it was all about being uniquely yourself and not shoving urself into a box. embracing ur own individually CONFIDENTLY and fashionably.

🌟 stop seeking validation from external sources - no one else's opinion on you matters except ur own, okay?

🌟 have fun - dont take things so seriously, a carefree happy attitude is SO contagious. surround urself with people who uplift you and dont be afraid to put urself out there.

🌟 stay up to date with trends that speak to u - know whats hot and whats not, it'll help u to be more confident when ur up to date with thats going on and what resonates with u.

something else that can improve ur confidence is taking care of urself! when u know that u spend time with yourself and pampering urself NO one can tell u shit cuz you know you're taken care of...💬🎀

STAYING FABULOUS ;

🌟 baths are for the divas! - bubble baths always make me feel so luxurious and pampered. i feel like an absolute princess when im relaxing in a bath.

🌟 manicures and pedicures - CHUNKY FRENCH TIPS.

🌟 take good care of ur hair - love ur hair and take good care of it so that it will love u back and look amazing and you'll feel good! keep your hair healthy and shiny with regular deep-conditioning treatments, and embrace whatever style makes you feel like a star

[rikkivoid]

this is my final post! the past few years have been amazing - thank you for everything <3 (more info below the cut)

I will no longer post on this account and wanted to write a note to explain and say goodbye.

Bnha and the bkdk fandom have been a constant source of joy and excitement in my life since 2018 - you were all so kind and encouraging towards me, and I grew so much in skill and confidence as a result! I’ll really treasure my time in this fandom. I loved experiencing so much incredible fanwork and freaking out over exciting moments from the series with everyone in real time. (I still remember choking on my drink and falling to the ground when I saw the vol.29 cover on my tl omg… it was life changing.)

I went on hiatus last year to reconnect with my passion for making art outside of bkdk and learn what I wanted to create without the influence of external validation. I had time to reflect on how much I was influenced by numbers on social media. I thought they didn’t affect me, but in truth, they completely ruled my artistic judgment and decisions. I found new hobbies, new media, experimented with different mediums and subject matters, and in the end… I rediscovered my joy for making art! 

This year, I gave myself a fresh start instead of returning to this account. This is partly because I really enjoy exploring erotic and transgressive themes and I don’t want to share it on a large account to people who followed me under a different pretense haha. But the main reason is that I wanted to create a space without any expectation for what kind of art I should make based on my previous work (since I know the majority of people follow me because I draw bkdk, and I mainly draw ocs and unrelated fanart now). 

All this to say, I hope we can cross paths in the future, but if that day never comes, thank you for the wonderful memories and support you’ve given me over the years! This fandom has so many incredible people in it and I sincerely wish you all the best. PLUS ULTRA!!!! and farewell! :’3

Lots of love,

Rikki <3 

[This account will stay up, but I won't be checking it much. If you have any questions or would like to get in touch, email me at rikkivoid@gmail.com and we can go from there!]

[prettieinpink]

SELF VALIDATION

First things first, if you validate your existence on externalities, you will never truly be happy. While it’s important to have values and to act on them, it shouldn’t be your main source of happiness. 

E.g. parent validation, academic validation, and male validation. So, here are some tips to validate yourself. 

VALUE YOUR OPINION. You should have the ability to make decisions and identify yourself solely on your opinion. Trust, giving people that ability to shape your decisions and curate your identity, allows them to dictate your worth. 

SELF LOVE OVER OTHERS. Ensure you are doing everything in your power to treat yourself lovingly. Even if it means sacrificing a few things in life. E.g. going to sleep early instead of cramming for a test. 

BE RESILIENT. When I say that, I don’t mean ‘don't let anything affect you’ but rather, build yourself up to the point that when someone/something knocks you down, you can bounce back easily. 

BECOME SELF AWARE. Know your strengths, and weaknesses, and be mindful of the truth. Be genuine when it comes to this because self-awareness helps us with becoming more in touch with our inner selves.

AVOID NEGATIVE SELF TALK. This can cause us to rely on others to hear good things about ourselves. Instead, say affirmations in the mirror.

STOP PEOPLE PLEASING. There’s a difference between genuinely being nice, and being a doormat. You shouldn’t have to bend over backwards for others, and they give absolutely nothing back. Invest that time and effort into yourself.

SOMEONE’S GAIN IS NOT YOUR LOSS. This is a mindset shift that will change the game. You have to stop seeing successful, wealthy, pretty or intelligent people as threatening your skills or talents. There is enough success for everyone.

DETACH FROM OTHERS. Friends, family, males, etc. Stop letting how other people treat you, dictate your mood for the rest of the day. The only factor your mood should depend on is you. What you do, say, and act is the only factor. 

KNOCK OTHERS FROM YOUR PEDESTAL. The only person that should be on top of your pedestal, is you. By doing this, you create an inferiority complex for someone else and give them superiority. 

OTHER’S OPINIONS ARE MOMENTARY. They will always move on with their day and see what needs to be done. They do not care about you as much as you think. So, do not even try to give them the time of day. 

BUILD BOUNDARIES. With others and yourself. Both are equally important because you value yourself enough not to do something you’ll regret. 

[ramuneda5149rebloggingstuff]

it's very interesting seeing people analyze aventurine like this (as well as other characters) while I thought it was plain obvious and didn't need to be explained at all and, well, apparently people do need explanations.

me reading all kinds of in depth analysis of aventurine: dont we... all feel like this like... most of the time? why do- ooooh *finger guns* *winks*

What exactly is "your true value" to Aventurine? Does it relate/go against to being used? Do we get to prove our "worth"?

The topic of worth seems to be a recurring theme in Aventurine's story- from his sense of self-loathing and worthlessness, to his material wealth, to how he views relationships ("friends", always shoving money into your arms), and how people perceive others in terms of commodity and deals. He also seems to expect being used in return of using others or the other way around.

[some-triangles]

This is the order of events as nearly as I can reconstruct them.

In 2008 I start following a webcomic called Problem Sleuth.

In 2009 Problem Sleuth wraps up. The author, Andrew Hussie, begins work on 🤡's next project, a mixed media piece called Homestuck.

In 2010 I become an evangelist for Homestuck. I spread the word to my college friend Stephen. He joins an online Homestuck RP group. I move to New York. That fall, Stephen visits me and introduces me to a guy from the group named Josh, who plays Rose. I am immediately infatuated.

In 2011 Stephen starts development on a real life Pesterchum app. I organize a Homestuck group cosplay and we go to Anime Central with our whole college anime club dressed up as trolls. I sit in a field with 50 Daves. I write my first Homestuck fanfiction, which is also my first anything fanfiction. Josh moves into my apartment. Stephen is dating a pair of bisexual cosplayers. Act 5 concludes. It is Peak Homestuck.

In 2012 my girlfriend tells me that I am no longer allowed to talk about Homestuck with her. The What Pumpkin organization - Homestuck is too big to be one person's project anymore - launches a kickstarter for a Homestuck video game, which raises 2.5 million dollars. At the same time, it is becoming clear that something is wrong with Homestuck itself. The author is fed up with the project but is now financially bound to it. The content becomes increasingly mean-spirited and critical of its audience as What Pumpkin tries to turn itself into a game company.

In 2013 What Pumpkin loses a significant chunk of its Kickstarter money - how much we'll never know - through a comical series of development boondoggles. Stephen launches a Kickstarter to fund an expansion of the Pesterchum app - now the haunt of a large online community - and What Pumpkin shuts it down. Josh no longer reads Homestuck but we're still living together and we start a podcast.

In 2014 Homestuck is mostly on hiatus. When it returns I start this blog, which was originally called "Two Triangles," after Dirk's shades. Most of the old crew have stopped caring about Homestuck but I am a die-hard. I write more fanfiction, mostly lesbian fluff. I begin to meet new people who are still invested in the whole thing. This and the podcast become the core of my new social world. Homestuck itself is getting more and more chaotic and diffuse but I still believe Andrew can tie it all together.

In 2015 I break. I write a fanfic called "Theatre of Coolty," which is my Dear John letter to Andrew Hussie. (I kill him in the story, which is par for the course.) It becomes the most popular thing I have ever made, and is most likely the most popular thing I ever will make. It is translated into multiple languages. A person called Naked Bee (who becomes another dear friend) turns it into a short film with puppets. I have grown to hate Homestuck but it is now my primary source of external validation and the foundation of my social media presence.

In 2016 Homestuck ends. The last year of its existence is an extraordinary act of creative self-erasure. Hussie vanishes by degrees, and by the time the finale rolls out no trace of 🤡's writing or art is left in the product. It is an abnegation worthy of Prospero. To complete this act of conceptual self-destruction, 🤡 ends up selling the entire product to Viz, who let it corrode. (Nine years later, homestuck.com is a dead link, mspaintadventures an abandoned swamp of broken pngs.) Meanwhile, I provide the narration for Bee's audio adaptation of a novel-length Homestuck fanfiction called Detective Pony, which she later turns into a feature film. The author of the fic/novel goes on to Kickstart a dating sim based on the 2016 Republican primary, which he calls Grand Old Academy. It has yet to be published.

In 2017 I leave New York. My friendship with Josh deteriorates and our podcast ends. I am no longer a Homestuck fan. As such I rebrand - the number of triangles I am is no longer anyone's business.

--

In 2021, Andrew Hussie releases a visual novel called Psycholonials. I do not read it.

--

In 2025, I am back in New York, albeit not in the city. I'm married to someone I met through this blog. Most of my closest friends are people I met either through Homestuck or through the projects that came out of it. Even my college friends - the ones I still talk to - are the ones who went through the wars with me. My wife thinks Psycholonials is worth reading. One night we sit down and play through it together.

Psycholonials is a nasty, nihilistic little story about a fucking idiot who accidentally creates a movement and then runs away like a bitch when it gets to be too much, back into the bosom of 🤡's trust fund. It's also really good. It has all the things I loved about Homestuck, all the stuff I missed as 🤡 left it to rot. It demonstrates that 🤡 is not washed, that the failure of Homestuck was not because 🤡 lost the juice. 🤡 abandoned us on purpose. 🤡 chose 🤡 over us.

This was objectively the correct decision. And when you come right down to it, 🤡 never signed up to change my life. It just happened.

Still, I can't say that it doesn't hurt a little, sitting here in my 40s. I guess everyone follows at least one failed messiah. So, yet another farewell to the cool big brother I never had. I hope this is the last one.

[provinzpoet]

On Engagement Bait

Whenever you see it, that's an additional five years. All currently active negative effects are dispelled.

A lil' essay.

I hate engagement bait - with a passion.

"Reblog if you care" "Reblog to mark your blog safe for [marginalized group X]" "Reblog or your mom dies in her sleep tonight."

"Reblog, or else."

I know most of these are made in jest. Harmless fun, right? But to me, "harmless fun" doesn’t excuse poor taste. Especially when it veers into manipulation.

So, here's a little something below the cut. If you're here for the poetry, you're free to scroll. If you're here for the ramblings, keep reading.

Either way, have another look at the duck. That's another 5 years on the house. Download it, look at it whenever - stack that immunity to last a lifetime. No engagement bait shall ever touch you again.

That little ducky up there was born in response to a post about you not having any original thought for the next five years.... unless you reblog.

It was meant as silent defiance, as a soft out. Then @bred-is-a-dumb-name reblogged my little ducky. With the following tags:

First and foremost: Thank you for speaking so clearly. Your tags were the push I needed to sit down and write this.

I. The Premise

Engagement bait plays with a simple human desire. Recognition. People want to be seen, they want to be recognized. Above all, they want to be validated.

From the early days of social media 'likes' equaled validation.

On tumblr, the currency of choice is reblogs. Reblogging equips a post with wings, allowing it to touch down on your own blog, be exposed to your own audience. The growth potential here is exponential, as reblogs don't just live tucked away in your profile, but are the groundwork of the tumblr algorithm on what content to show to its userbase.

My Thesis: You are responsible for the content you pass along to your mutuals. Even if you didn’t create it. Even if you reblogged it "ironically."

From the creator’s side, engagement bait is often a way to chase notes - a hit of serotonin from the numbers ticking up. And I get that. I love seeing my posts resonate too - reading your tags, your comments, the ways my words find you.

But I would never boost engagement through pain, coercion, or bad vibes in general. And I think no one should.

II. The Danger

Here's the catch: reblogging engagement bait feeds a manipulative feedback-loop.

But, at the same time, Let me be clear: Not all engagement bait is created equal.

Baity posts like "reblog to show your moots you appreciate them" (you know who you are! And I appreciate you too! c: ) are fine. Sure, they're meant to play the algorithm and the very human rationale that 'external validation is more valuable than internal validation' . basically: "If I reblog this post it'll mean more than if I just tell my moot they mean a lot to me".

At best, they're a reminder to be kind.

But - and this is the important part - there is also a different kind. Engagement bait like "Reblog or your mother will die tonight", "Reblog or no more creativity for 5 years".

These aren't funny to everyone. To some, they're not even neutral.

They're cruel. They are emotional abuse hidden under the guise of a 'funny context'. Of the absurdity of a duck holding that power.

Let's be real. It's not holding that power. And you'll reblog it ironically with funny tags in the vein of 'oh, better be sure, mighty duck'. Unless you don't.

Because guess what? It IS holding that power.

To those with OCD. To those in intrusive thought loops. To those with deeply rooted fear of loss. To the neurodivergent. Maybe even to you? To those, these posts can be triggers.

III. The Mechanics of Harm

To people like that, the harmless meme becomes a source of real-world stress.

It's toying with - to me - deeply problematic, psychological concepts:

Compulsion and Intrusive Thoughts For someone with intrusive thought patterns, seeing a post that ties inaction to harm can spark a cycle that’s hard to break. It’s not a meme - it’s a trigger.

Guilt-Tripping and Moral Coercion There’s a quiet cruelty to coercion wrapped in kindness. ‘Only good people will reblog’ is just a digital form of social blackmail.

False Urgency & Manufactured Stakes The moment a post tells you "do this now, or else" - it's bypassing your agency. It swaps thought for panic.

Neurodivergent Sensitivity to Harm Avoidance This isn’t about superstition. It’s about the fear of what happens if we don’t play along. That fear is real. Many neurodivergent folks have built entire internal systems around minimizing perceived danger. These posts poke at that. They exploit it.

The Illusion of Safety through Compliance Some users - especially those who’ve seen harm happen "coincidentally" after ignoring a chain post - develop ritualized engagement. It becomes a way to feel in control, even when logic says otherwise. Engagement bait can reignite old fears tied to punishment, loss, or abandonment. And I get it. These posts feel silly. But they sit in the mind like a splinter.

Yes, it's uncomfortable having it called out like this - and it should be. It's meant to be.

IV. Walk a mile in their shoes

I’m not writing this from a pulpit.

I’ve wrestled with compulsive thoughts and weird little rituals my whole life. So when I say this stuff can hurt, it’s not theoretical. It’s personal.

And I’m not here to scold. I’m just inviting you to zoom out. To consider that your reblog might have more impact than you intended.

V. Being Responsible

I try to bear responsibility for what I put out here. Tumblr is full of vulnerable, brilliant, open people. The way we talk to each other matters.

Don't get me wrong, sharing a joke is fun - But if you knew a joke would hurt your friend, you'd probably hold it back. The same logic applies here.

I'm not here to shame anyone - unless you’re making this kind of post in bad faith. If you’re knowingly feeding on people’s fears for notes? That’s not a joke. That’s cruelty. That, to me, is despicable.

All I wanted was to offer this, another point of view. And just maybe, if you’ve ever reblogged something like that without thinking, this helped you see it through a different lens.

Be nice to each other. Look out for each other.

We're all navigating this life for the first time, let's not make it any harder than it needs to be, okay?

Yours truly,

Poe

Just silently accept. The donkey will know.

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 1x01, "pilot"

they were all so young! and so orange!

the top of my notes called this one the "smorgasbord of themes" because they had a lot of messaging to urgently shove inside a potential-laden first episode, but i think they captured all the major players: everybody lies, house as god, "you can't always get what you want," and the puzzle and/or/vs. the patient. rebecca adler, the patient, introduces lying in house md before house himself does when she tells her students that they should "never keep anything from [their] parents."

regarding house's characterization, he gets a little lost in the harsher genre-ification of this episode; while he's obviously, clearly the main character, he services the mystery, rather than the other way around. "pilot" doesn't just prop up the medical plot (remember those days?); it centers the episode's tone around an external, viewer-response medical anxiety. the episode ramps up the MRI noises, every choke and gag is exaggerated, and every shot leading us into melanie's insides is long and paired with dramatic orchestral music. given that day-one audiences didn't know whether the illusive dr. house was capable of solving the case just yet, the sympathy engendered for melanie is more powerful than most patient stories in the remainder of the show.

another notable difference regarding house's characterization is his immediate anger episode in cuddy's office when she revokes his 'authorization' (very vaguely termed lol). he immediately starts screaming and yelling - and she immediately condescends to him, which was familiar and funny - and it feels, to a retrospective viewer, very preemptive. as the show progresses, so do the lengths it takes to make house truly angry like that. i'm very glad they dialed that back so much.

# not my greg house ^

cameron, foreman, and chase had instant chemistry, and their teamwork when traching/venting rebecca does so much character work is such a short, tense amount of time. foreman is overly technical and fails to relate to the patient, while cameron levels with rebecca, and, later, chase treats rebecca carelessly, but is the one to effectively trach her in time. the most functionally dysfunctional polycule of all time, truly.

and they each come to embody their own mini house-complexes in "pilot," too! again, foreman is overly technical and slightly alienating; cameron, while abundantly kind, is overly obstinate in her convictions; chase is all about those last minute eureka moments that don't always make up for what goes on in the interim. overall, i would say chase is the most unassuming and underutilized character in the pilot.

transitioning to my favorite core theme - house as god and house md's treatment of faith. i've always been fascinated with the dichotomy house balances - or fails to balance - between loneliness and godhood, a title that his "followers" give him, but one that he clings to for legitimacy. he claims in "pilot" that "humanity is overrated," which is why he removes himself as much as possible from it. next to "everybody lies," this is the show's most consistent motif, and that it was made apparent so early is pretty awesome.

what was compelling about house/god/faith in "pilot" was the introduction of his favorite diagnostic method: treatment. treating the illness before we know what it is for certain. in a paradoxical move, house md demands we have faith in faith; house insists to cameron that he "has no reason to think that it's vasculitis, except that it could be." the episode gives us no recourse; we, along with the ducklings and company (don't worry, i haven't forgotten about wilson) have to go along with him. and the source of their belief and devotion, however reluctant, isn't even sure of his own reason, so he has to have faith in himself, despite being fully opposed to the idea of faith.

does that make any kind of sense? house is treated as god, needs that faith and adoration to validate himself, but also hates the very premise. this exact dilemma comes up in a later episode where wilson begs cuddy NOT to tell house that his diagnosis on a whim was a success in an attempt to deconstruct this problem.

now for some wilson thoughts :)

in "pilot," wilson is either giving uncanny valley, who-is-this-and-what-have-you-done-with-doctor-james-wilson, OR he's giving the most promising glimmers into the best the show has to offer over the next 8 years. one of the funniest parts of the episode is that he's treating rebecca at all because, 1) he's an ONCOLOGIST, and by the time they've figured out that it's not cancer, he's giving her another routine exam, and 2) if rebecca really was his cousin, he probably shouldn't be so involved in the case. not that PPTH cares about that sort of thing after awhile, but this is the pilot, after all.

it's very clear that the showrunners weren't sure what to make of him yet, which is so, so funny and actually gives rise to the show's most brilliant character (IN MY OPINION). thus far, he's personality-less apart from wry, quippy, yet soothingly suave. but his choices and scenes in "pilot" already are cutting through house's armor, and i can't decide how intentional or self-sabotaging this was.

for example, his scene with rebecca, demarcating the second act in the episode, undoes the character work we've accomplished with house so far. apparently, house does care about wilson by an external metric: rebecca's. care and love are not about someone's words but their actions, and wilson agrees that in that regard, house does care about him. the idea sets rebecca at ease about her elusive doctor, at least until she goes temporarily blind lol. yt by the end of the episode, "pilot" reassembles all of house's godhood, alienation, anti-humanity, etc., acting almost as if this conversation never even happened. it's really odd. i love it.

though i suppose it bears mentioning that it's wilson's white lie about rebecca being his cousin that pokes a lasting hole in house's rejection of humanity: "it got you to take the case."

and i can't forget house and wilson's inaugural conversation: "people don't want a sick doctor." "and I don't like healthy patients." who is the universal recipient and universal donor? who is house's keeper, responsible for his happiness? who has a problem with caring too much for a person and then resenting them? that's what i thought. hilson or not, their very first words capture their dynamic in literally 2 sentences. bound for life, wrapped up in the tragedy of house's internalized shame toward his disability, too.

speaking of hilson (season 8 spoilers below):

i don't know how to organize all of this effectively, but if the series finale wasn't planned, then they still wrote such a cohesive show that they could reference the fabric of their pilot episode and reflect it successfully in their parting message. one of the best ways we can measure house's growth is his treatment of rebecca adler's decision to die versus wilson's 8 seasons later.

house condescends to rebecca that everyone will die, that it's always ugly, and that "we can live with dignity. we can't die with it." this doesn't convince rebecca to accept more treatment, however, and house is forced to surrender. he's solved the case; the job is technically done. yet when wilson is undergoing Mega Chemo in 8x19, he begs house to help him keep his dignity by letting him die in house's apartment. house agrees.

in what i think is a direct parallel to wilson's cancer diagnosis, rebecca rejects further treatment because they have no proof in their latest diagnosis, a tapeworm. this reinforces the need to operate off of faith twice removed. in 8x20, meanwhile, the proof of wilson's cancer is what's killing house and demolishing the very premise of godhood as he's known it (i rambled about that here). in rebecca's case, absence requires faith; in wilson's, presence revokes that faith.

even foreman pleads for a real solution: "there's got to be something we can do. Better than watching her die." and wilson delivers the news about rebecca denying treatment: "she wants to go home to die." and, then, cameron with the steel chair: "because you respect her, you're going to let her die."

so, in total, i am super impressed with all that this episode manages to accomplish. it was way too orange, house was pretty one note as they were leaning extra hard into the sherlock side of things, and wilson is just kinda there??, yet it really is bursting with potential.

i didn't expect to write this much and have no idea if these posts will always be so long. i'll never get thru this if that's the case lol.

[bloodless-blair]

Why Dark Fiction, Kink, and Taboo Stories Matter for Mental Health

A trauma-informed, psychology-backed defense

1. Writing and Creativity as Healing Tools

Writing, drawing, roleplay, and other forms of creative expression help people externalize their internal chaos.

“Expressive writing helps individuals process difficult emotions and traumatic experiences, contributing to improved mental and physical health.”

– [Pennebaker & Smyth, 2016]

This is why some trauma survivors turn to:

Dark fiction

Kink writing

Taboo themes

Horror, violence, or morally grey characters

It’s not about glorifying harm. It’s about creating a safe and controlled space to confront emotional pain, explore agency, and begin healing

2. Creativity Works Like Therapy

Much like art therapy, engaging in creative tasks (even ones with heavy or “inappropriate” themes) reduces symptoms of:

PTSD

Depression

Anxiety

“Creative activities often lead to a state of 'flow'… associated with mindfulness and relaxation. This can empower individuals to navigate trauma more effectively.”

– [Stuckey & Nobel, 2010]

Creating (or consuming) taboo fiction allows the person to:

Control the narrative

Feel seen in experiences that are often stigmatized

Build emotional resilience through storytelling and catharsis

While writing alone won’t heal trauma, psychologists recognize it as a valid coping tool. Expressive writing lets people process pain, explore emotions, and regain a sense of control—especially for those living with PTSD or deep emotional wounds.

3. Horror, Kink, and Taboo as Exposure Therapy

Trauma often involves fear, powerlessness, or shame—kinks and horror fiction let people safely reenact, challenge, or reclaim those dynamics.

“Horror media… taps into deep-seated fears and anxieties… [and] aligns with exposure therapy by letting individuals confront fear in a controlled setting.”

– [Foa & Kozak, 1986]

“This controlled exposure can help trauma survivors regain a sense of agency and control.”

– [Pittman & Karle, 2015]

This is why kinks like BDSM, powerplay, or even fetish content about fear or degradation can feel therapeutic when engaged consensually and responsibly.

4. Bibliotherapy: How Fiction Helps Us Cope

Reading about dark topics also helps. That’s called Bibliotherapy—and it works.

Bibliotherapy—the use of fiction and reading for emotional healing—has been recommended by mental health professionals for decades. It’s not just self-soothing; it’s structured, reflective, and evidence-based.

“Bibliotherapy has a reported success rate ranging from 68% to 84%, with some studies showing even 100% improvement.”

– [Shechtman, 2009]

Reading fiction (especially dark, challenging, or symbolic stories) gives people safe access to difficult feelings. Much like EMDR therapy creates “safe space” scenarios to revisit trauma, bibliotherapy lets readers explore pain indirectly, without immediate real-life stakes. This allows for desensitization, insight, and the development of personal agency—all crucial for healing.

Fiction doesn’t just distract—it builds inner resilience.

5. In Conclusion

Not every dark or explicit piece of media is “problematic.” For many, it’s survival. It’s where we:

Rehearse safety

Reclaim control

And explore trauma-driven feelings in a safe, harmless way

Shaming trauma-informed art, kink, or dark fiction does not protect victims—it isolates them.

sources undercut

[astrofaeology]

Chrion in the Signs

paid readings | Masterlist

ᡣ𐭩 Please support me by reposting, liking, following me and commenting your chiron placement. Chiron (2060) is a generational asteroid which defines your inner wounds, learning where your chrion is can help you find peace within yourself.

0º is the degree which doesn't have a coresponding sign assigned to it. It's a fresh new degree and will amplify the themes of the sign that it's in

Aries (1,13,25º) The wound lies in identity, courage, and self-worth. People with Chiron in Aries often feel they must constantly prove themselves, yet struggle with deep insecurity about their right to exist as they are. Their pain may center around not being seen or validated for their individuality. Healing comes through reclaiming self-confidence, asserting themselves unapologetically, and realizing they don’t need to earn the right to take up space.

Taurus (2, 14, 26°) This wound is rooted in self-worth, security, and material stability. There may be fears of scarcity or not being “enough”—not valuable, lovable, or secure. Individuals may cling to comfort, possessions, or routines out of fear of loss. Healing involves learning that self-worth isn’t determined by external validation or possessions, and discovering inner richness and peace beyond the material world.

Gemini (3, 15, 27°) This wound is rooted in self-worth, security, and material stability. There may be fears of scarcity or not being “enough”—not valuable, lovable, or secure. Individuals may cling to comfort, possessions, or routines out of fear of loss. Healing involves learning that self-worth isn’t determined by external validation or possessions, and discovering inner richness and peace beyond the material world.

Cancer (4, 16, 28°) The wound touches on emotional safety, nurturing, and belonging. People with this placement often struggle with issues around family, home, or feeling emotionally supported. They may have been the caregiver too early or felt unprotected. Healing arises from nurturing themselves, setting boundaries, and learning that vulnerability is strength—not weakness.

Leo (5, 17, 29°) This placement wounds the inner child and sense of self-expression. There may be pain around being ignored, rejected, or not feeling special or good enough. These individuals may fear being seen, yet crave recognition. Healing is found through creative expression, playful joy, and embracing their inner light without needing approval.

Virgo (6, 18° ) The wound lies in perfectionism, self-criticism, and the pressure to fix everything. Individuals may struggle with chronic feelings of inadequacy or obsessive tendencies around being useful or “good enough.” They often put others’ needs before their own. Healing comes through accepting imperfection, finding peace in service without self-erasure, and recognizing the sacred in the flawed.

Libra (7, 19°) This wound is about relationships, fairness, and self-sacrifice. These individuals often feel unlovable unless they maintain harmony, even at their own expense. They may struggle with codependency or fear conflict. Healing comes through balancing the scales—honoring their own needs while staying connected—and realizing they are worthy of love as their whole, authentic selves.

Scorpio( 8, 20°) Here, the wound centers on trust, power, and emotional depth. There may be early experiences of betrayal, loss, or emotional trauma. These individuals may guard themselves intensely, fearing vulnerability. Healing involves facing the darkness within, learning to trust again, and using their pain as a source of profound transformation and emotional resilience.

Sagittarius (9, 21°) The pain here is philosophical—rooted in beliefs, freedom, and truth. There may be a fear of being wrong or a sense of disillusionment with systems, teachers, or truth itself. They may struggle with faith or feel like outsiders in their quest for meaning. Healing comes through forging their own spiritual path and embracing curiosity over dogma.

Capricorn (10, 22º) The wound lies in authority, responsibility, and achievement. These individuals often feel they must earn love through success or that failure defines their worth. They may carry a deep sense of duty or guilt. Healing involves redefining success, embracing vulnerability, and allowing themselves to rest without shame.

Aquarius (11, 23°) This wound is social—centered on feeling different, excluded, or misunderstood. People with Chiron in Aquarius may feel alienated or disconnected from groups or society. They often crave belonging while fearing conformity. Healing arises from embracing their uniqueness and finding or creating communities that honor their visionary nature.

Pisces (12, 24°) The pain here is spiritual and existential. Individuals may carry a vague, all-encompassing sorrow or feel overwhelmed by the suffering of the world. They may struggle with boundaries or escapism. Healing comes through spiritual connection, creative flow, and learning to hold compassion without losing themselves in others’ pain.

DISCLAIMER: This post is a generalisation and may not resonate. I recommend you get a reading from an astrologer (me). If you want a reading from me check out my sales page.

@astrofaeology private services 2025 all rights reserved

[botanicalsword]

Moon & their security & emotional needs

Understanding Emotional Needs

Emotional stability is a state that can arise, varying based on our emotional needs and response.

>> Indicator • Nurturing your soul • what makes you a Healer

✧ Moon in the 1st House

Strong self-awareness

pursuit of validation

their emotional needs revolve primarily around themselves

exhibit nurturing qualities

Source of Security - independency, take care of others and your own emotions and needs more independently

✧ Moon in the 2nd House

A passionate worker - highly focused on work

place great importance on a sense of gain or loss

Excellent concentration skills

Source of Security - material foundations, financial stability

✧ Moon in the 3rd House

excel at gathering information

find satisfaction in gaining knowledge

Source of Security - lies in acquiring information, continuous learning, thirst for knowledge, the ability to effectively communicate and interact with others.

✧ Moon in the 4th House

are the guardians of their family

deeply care for and nurture their parents

strong sense of belonging to their home and family

Source of Security - A stable family, a familiar environment, a comfortable and safe space

✧ Moon in the 5th House

have a wide range of hobbies

find fulfillment through entertaining children

pet lovers

Source of Security - express through various forms of entertainment, adventure, creation, love, enjoyment

✧ Moon in the 6th House

workaholics

appearing stoic on the surface but harboring great passion within

find security in stable employment and a harmonious work environment

have sensitive digestive systems

Source of Security - serve the daily affairs of life, be organized, and pay attention to order, practicality and details

✧ Moon in the 7th House

yearn for companionship

nourish their souls through intimate relationships

Source of Security -  their significant other, harmonious interpersonal relationships, good reactions and feedback from others, natural and gentle atmosphere

✧ Moon in the 8th House

highly sensitive and intuitive

prone to emotional vulnerability

easily become engulfed in their emotions

Source of Security - Understanding the truth, motives, and real emotional needs of others provides them with emotional security

✧ Moon in the 9th House

prioritize self-improvement

seek to overcome inner unrest through constant learning and personal growth

Source of Security - exploring the unknown and seeking spiritual resonance

✧ Moon in the 10th House

strive for wealth, fame, and success

believe that achievements can repair their souls and provide them with a sense of security

Source of Security - their professional accomplishments

✧ Moon in the 11th House

excel at maintaining balance in their social relationships

susceptible to external influences

Source of Security - interactions with groups and older female figures, seeking validation, acceptance, and support

✧ Moon in the 12th House

conceal their emotions

display negative and depressive moods

struggle with expressing themselves

have fear or barriers when it comes to communicating with women

Source of Security - solace in spirituality, healing, wisdom, and acts of charity

✧

>> A note to ✦ Venus / Pluto aspect in Natal Chart

>> Back to Masterlist ✧ Explicit Content

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/ instagram : @le.sinex / @botanicalsword

[lu-is-not-ok]

A Narcissistic reading of Hong Lu

Yup, I'm actually doing this.

To lay down some facts first: I have NPD, alongside a bunch of other things that coalesce into a nuclear concoction strong enough to kill every dark empath in a five mile radius. If I find you ableisting it up, I give myself the permission to smite you. This is a threat and a warning.

Now, let's talk about Hong Lu. Because as it turns out, he might just be the most difficult literacy check in Limbus Company according to what I've seen.

I could just say "I'm a narcissist and Hong Lu is just like me fr fr so he's a narcissist too" and end the post, but honestly, where's the fun in that? There are, legitimately, things I want to yap about, so I'm going to yap about them, and no chucklefucks can stop me.

So, to start this off, let's make one thing clear.

Hong Lu is not only a good actor, but also a skilled liar. The way he navigates conversations and the methods he uses are just as important to analyze as the actual words he says, if not more so. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that trying to understand him based Only on what he says and not how he uses the things he says would result in an understanding that's not only incomplete, but potentially outright wrong.

Now, this isn't really tied to why I think Hong Lu could be very reasonably read as having NPD, at least not directly. Narcissists aren't inherently evil liar manipulators, and if that's what you take away from this post, that's more of a you problem (and you can go ahead and block me considering I'm one of the evil liar manipulator narcissists according to you).

However, there is a reason why I have to bring it up. And it's because almost all of Hong Lu's narcissistic traits become a lot more obvious once you look at the exact ways he takes control of conversations.

With that out of the way, what exactly are we even looking for?

NPD, in my experience, primarily affects one's sense of self-worth and self-esteem. I personally found that the analogy of a pendulum makes the most sense to me - a narcissist's sense of self-worth can swing between massive highs and massive lows, almost never staying in a middle "balanced" position, with even the tiniest things being able to throw it to one side or another.

The ways this can present outwardly are. Quite frankly, way too fucking many to count. But there are some common threads we can keep in mind:

High sensitivity to criticism

Need for an external source of validation

Tendency to seek out ways to make oneself feel more special, important, or powerful

So, does Hong Lu fit those criteria?

Well. Yeah. This post wouldn't exist if he didn't.

Let's talk about the first point, high sensitivity to criticism. And, immediately, I would like everyone to remember Hell's Chicken, specifically the scene where Meursault begins to verbally roast his team's dish, and in the process laying down a verbal smackdown on everyone involved. That scene ended like this.

Curious, isn't it? The moment Meursault was about to start criticising Hong Lu, he just jumps in and distracts Meursault with a change of topic - something even Dante's narration points out.

Mind you, this isn't an isolated event. This is just the most obvious example of Hong Lu exhibiting this kind of behavior.

Don't believe me? Just look at these.

These are all examples of Hong Lu either backpedaling, changing the subject, or otherwise trying to avoid the acknowledgement of something that criticizes his status, thought process, or (in the last example) which would reveal an emotional vulnerability.

This is a fairly consistent pattern for him, and that's not even getting into the fact that the line he says when hovering over him before a skill check he has a Very Low chance at succeeding in has him suddenly try to excuse himself and leave.

Hong Lu is absolutely highly sensitive to criticism, it's just that his primary emotional reactions aren't ones we're privy to. Instead, what we get to see is how he acts to try and minimize the impact of those criticisms, if not outright find ways to never let them leave someone's mouth in the first place.

Next up - need for external validation.

This one doesn't have as many examples as the previous point, as Hong Lu is a generally closed off person who keeps a certain level of distance from most other Sinners. However, that doesn't mean I don't have any.

One such example comes from Canto 4, where soon after acting out his part in the play, Hong Lu seeks validation from Yi Sang.

Then there's this moment in Canto 6, where Hong Lu, once again, seeks validation for something he's done.

And then there's also these lines from Hong Lu's various Identities.

Aaaand then there's these base Identity voice lines, which, if you ask me, feel a bit like fishing for compliments.

This point is a lot harder to say is a definitive one, mainly due to Hong Lu's more closed off projected personality. That being said, the fact that one can find examples of it despite that is pretty notable.

And for the final one - trying to make oneself feel more special, important, or powerful.

This is one that's a bit harder to provide exact examples for, as again, Hong Lu isn't someone who talks about how he feels often, and when he does it's not always exactly trustworthy. He's not like Rodya, who while still putting on a facade, is pretty open and easy to read about how she actually feels.

But, there's still some non-mutually exclusive interpretations I want to posit here. Two, in fact.

One - I believe that for Hong Lu, the thing he sees as power is control.

See, avoiding criticism isn't the only time Hong Lu steers conversations. In fact, it's something he does All The Time. He's often the one asking questions to get the group moving, trying to gather information that might be relevant to him, and generally taking over the direction a conversation is going in. Chances are, if Hong Lu speaks up, it's likely to alter the conversation he joins in noticeable ways.

This, I think, is one of the ways Hong Lu makes himself feel more powerful. After all, it's not that hard to guess from what little bits of his background we have that Hong Lu lacked agency for most of his life. So, wouldn't it make sense for him that having that agency, that being able to be socially in control, would be the exact kind of thing that would boost his self-esteem?

In fact, the only times we see him rendered completely speechless, seemingly stripped of that confidence in conversations he usually exhibits, are in Canto 7 - specifically in scenes where he's Not In Control of what the others are talking about. Those scenes being when the other Sinners start shit-talking Xichun in front of him, and when Xichun actively tries to bother Hong Lu by alluding to the way he's been treated back at home.

Extremely confident until something external happens that utterly strips him of that confidence... sounds familiar, doesn't it?

Then, there's the second interpretation.

See, with NPD, there are two ways a narcissist can try to make themself feel more deserving of attention. One is the one most probably think of when they think about narcissists - setting out to fulfill extremely high goals to feel amazing when one reached them and then feeling utterly crushed in the case one doesn't. This would be someone like Rodya.

However, there is also another way, one which I personally have much more experience with - to undersell. To set extremely low expectations, so that it's as hard as possible to fail reaching them, and to feel way better upon surpassing them than one would with higher, more "regular" expectations.

This, to me, is exactly the kind of narcissist Hong Lu is. Think about it. He's constantly putting out this image of an extremely sheltered person that barely understands the outside world, with notable moments where it's made clear he's Just Making Shit Up at points. Wouldn't making one seem unable to do anything, only to then proceed to do things you've led people to not expect of you, make it feel like you're much more exceptional than you really are?

The underselling goes the other way too. When the other Sinners point out something odd about Hong Lu in a more positive way, he's often quick to point out how it's Nothing compared to what his Family expected of him. Wouldn't that make one feel exceptional, to make it seem like whatever effort you're putting in to do well is but a fraction of what else you can do? That you don't even have to try to be able to be special?

...So, there. That's all the analysis and interpretation I find important to do to get my point across.

Just to make it clear, I don't think that the only thing wrong with Hong Lu is the narcissism. There's definitely a lot more shit going on in that head of his. But, I'll be honest, the NPD reading felt so obvious to me that it genuinely took me by surprise that other people don't see it.

Though... maybe I shouldn't be shocked. Some fuckers out there still think Faust is a narcissist when she's literally just autistic.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

When your Character is Insecure in their Relationship

Insecurities in a relationship stem from various causes, including low self-esteem and negative life experiences.

Signs of Insecurity in a Relationship

If you’re experiencing insecurity in a relationship, you may notice these signs:

Difficulty with intimacy: Especially in a new relationship, intimacy can be challenging for an insecure person, making this element of your dynamic feel problematic.

Jealousy: Perhaps the most common sign of insecurity in a relationship is jealousy. If you don’t trust them fully, you may feel insecure about your partner’s exes or tempted to check on their whereabouts constantly.

Low self-confidence: A lack of self-confidence—marked by negative self-talk and self-doubt—often bleeds into your relationship, making you rely on your partner for constant attention, reassurance, or validation.

Reacting strongly: Since insecurity stems from low self-worth, you may overreact to comments your partner makes that unintentionally trigger your sensitivities. For example, if you have an argument, you may feel tempted to break up with them to prevent future heartbreak. This self-sabotaging behavior is a defense mechanism.

How to Overcome Insecurities in a Relationship

If you have noticed an insecure attachment style developing in your relationship, follow these tips to start overcoming it:

Prioritize open communication. Talk frequently with your partner to ensure that you remain on the same page, which will alleviate concerns that they aren’t trustworthy and encourage you to communicate your needs.

Look at your relationship objectively. Try to evaluate any recent arguments you’ve had with your partner from an outside perspective. Consider the ways these challenges may have stemmed from one of your personal insecurities.

Try self-reflection. Try to locate the root of your low self-esteem in this relationship and identify your triggers. Developing this type of self-awareness will help you communicate with your partner and realize when an issue surfaces.

Practice self-love. To have a healthy relationship with someone else, you need to have a loving one with yourself. Try journaling, meditation, and other forms of self-care, like spending time with loved ones and doing activities you enjoy. As you value your time and interests more, your self-confidence will increase, encouraging you to show up as your authentic self in your relationship.

Work with a mental health professional. Consider speaking with a relationship expert or therapist on your own or with your partner. They will be able to point out how your mutual insecurities impact your relationship and advise you on how to overcome problems in the dynamic.

Causes of Insecurities in a Relationship

A variety of internal, external, and relational factors cause insecurities in a relationship.

Internally, insecurity stems from a lack of self-confidence and self-love, marked by feelings of unworthiness or incapability.

External factors causing feelings of insecurity in a relationship include negative past relationships or childhood experiences, especially ones that left you questioning your sense of self or feeling unable to trust others.

While these external factors may come from different periods of your life, a failure to resolve them will impact your relationship with your current partner.

Additionally, a lack of communication or a violation of trust in a current relationship can cause insecurities in the dynamic.

For example, if your partner cheats on you, you may feel plagued by the constant anxiety that they will do it again.

Source ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs