#are narc abuse believers okay

[cccat-in-a-meat-sack]

A list of narc abuse believers for all my lovely pwNPD to block <333

@dragon-master-kai

@liquid-pie

@understandingclusterb-npd

@beenthereregrettedthat

@wilwheaton (hasn't been on for a few months but oh well)

@terrified-of-life

@secretlykoishi

@lostmf (I believe)

@nothing0fnothing

@greenevergreens

@silent-t0n

@not-a-narc-apologist

@anscathmarcach (they blocked me boo hoo)

@galactic-spec-of-dust

@selkie-ifs

@internum--urbes (also hasn't been on for a while)

@daughterofanarcissistwoman

@narcissistic-abuse-blog (wow they have their own blog :0 they hate borderlines too just so y'all know)

@furiousgoldfish

@webanglikethat (not 100% sure????)

@jay7vera

@daringdaphne

@enbygunderson

@houseofdonald

@uncoveringthenarcissist

@callmecandle

@dontbestupiditsnotthathard

@soberscientistlife (doesn't really believe in narc abuse per se, but still is very anti-NPD)

@survivingnarcissism

@howtohealfromnarcissisticabuse

@healingchildhoodtrauma

@snapnarissisticabuserecovery

@narcsurvior (either the above two blocked me or their blogs don't exist anymore)

@beauspot

@cosmic0de

@howtohealfromnarcissisticabuse

@narcopathicabuse

@narcsurvivor

@actuallydiagnosedtraumagenic (says that's it's okay to say you can be a narcissist without having NPD)

To find these people I used the following tags: #narcissistic abuse #narcissistic abuse is real #raised by narcissists #surviving narcissism

This is not an argument post. If you want to argue, shoot me an ask. This is a blocklist so that pwNPD can feel safe. You don't like, block me or send an ask. I am not here to care about your feelings. This list is also not complete/definitive. If you have other people to add, again, send an ask or comment. I love you NPD's <333

[alostlittleriverlotus]

Oh yeah make sure neglected people get love until that neglected person is a fucking narcissist. Cause all narcissists are bad. Everything I do is intentionally manipulative or maybe they'll say I'm not actually a narcissist and are just confused or supporting them cause I've been made to feel guilty. I've been on both sides. People will believe I'm a narcissist and so therefore I'm abusive or people will not believe I'm a narcissist cause I'm too nice and just getting caught up in narcissists manipulating me to support them.

I hate the idea that my self image is not by my choice. I will always be what OTHERS perceive me as. I have always been that and it will continue to be that. People will either see someone that can't do any wrong or someone that can only do wrong. Like stfu I am a person! I can do good and bad! I have a past of being toxic and harmful esp as a teenager cause I was a fucking mentally fucked teen still in an abusive situation.

I just. I dunno. Im waiting on food so I'm very like just ranty about everything and anything. But like. Stfu. Stfu stfu stfu stfu stfu. If anyone else is needy and needs attention or reassurance then it's fine. But I have had it demonized since my fucking childhood and had my fucking meltdowns demonized as being intentionally manipulative!!! I WAS A FIVE YEAR OLD AUTISTIC CHILD STFU!!!!!

And people praising empathy as being good piss me off. Cause you know what else can also have hypoempathy? AUTISM. Low empathy is not just an "evil" personality disorder thing. Anyone can be anywhere on the scale of empathy. And it doesn't fucking matter. And anyone can be capable of good or bad. It has literally nothing to do with narcissism or any disorder.

Like wtf are anti narcissists gonna fucking do when they realize theyve done harm??? Cause you know what being someone believing in narc abuse did to me?! It made me believe that i was justified as a victim of narcissists so therefore I couldn't be wrong in my trauma responses.

Yeah. Accepting im a narcissist did way more for helping my relationships by allowing me to understand and communicate my needs than believing in narc abuse and calling my parents narcissists ever fucking did. Wtf are they gonna do when they're told about the harm they've done??? Not even related to narc abuse. I would have horrible episodes and defended myself cause I wasn't like my abusive "narcissistic" parents. And all it did was lead to more fights and more episodes and my friend couldn't help cause they were dealing with trauma responses too (people pleasing, believing it was okay what I did or that she deserved it even when I told her not to say or believe that, it's a very lengthy explanation required thing.)

Anyone and everyone is capable of good and bad and is capable of harming others. Whether it's full on abuse, even worse things, or just being insensitive and thoughtless. Focusing so much on the big bad narcissists will only continue to focus on this "us vs them" mentality that completely negates any sort of nuance and ignores the fact that harmful people, abusers, and even the worst of humanity is ALLOWED by society. It isn't a prevalence of narcissists, it is fucking bigotry. And it is everywhere. And it allows abuse to be normalized.

Big list of things I been thinking on. Fuck fuck fuck. I'm already fucking stressed and my parents won't stfu so I can think and type. Disorganized speech, semiverbal, can't thinky think.

[egotisticalmachine]

one of the many flaws with the whole "narcissism is a spectrum and im only insulting narcissists who DONT have NPD not the ones who do, so im not ableist :)" is like... okay. so the options for the spectrum under that particular lens are

normal people* -> non disordered narcissists -> people with NPD; in which case having SOME narcissistic traits makes you evil and abusive (according to these people) and therefore fair game to villainize, but having enough traits to qualify for a diagnosis means that suddenly youre exempt from being villainized supposedly (we all know these people arent actually excluding pwNPD but lets play along)

normal people -> pwNPD -> non disordered narcissists; in which case somehow pwNPD all have Narcissism Lite and there are people out there with Ultra Narcissism, which would imply that there is a limit to how much narcissism you can have before psychiatrists decide "oh good heavens no diagnosis for this one"

normal people -> non disordered narcissists -> pwNPD -> OTHER non disordered narcissists; which does almost make the most sense when we consider the spectrum in less of a one dimensional linear way and more of a "narcissism presents differently for everyone" way, but then its literally just... is the only boundary deciding if a narcissist is valid to villainize or not, whether or not they meet the criteria for a diagnosis? and REALLY it combines the flaws of the first two bullet points because now we have narcissists who are evil because they arent as narcissistic as the mentally ill narcs AND we have these mysterious Super Powerful Mega Narcissists and somehow there are the motherfucks with personality disorders sat right in the middle of this mess, in a bubble of immunity that doesnt actually exist because this was all a thought experiment about an excuse that no one actually believes

(* using "normal people" in a tongue in cheek way here because idk if egotypical fits as an opposite to non disordered narcissists, and idk what other word to use lol)

to be clear i 100% agree you can have narcissistic traits without fitting the criteria for a diagnosis of NPD, but this is more about the way people use that as an excuse for their ableism because "oh well not all narcissists have a disorder so i can drag all narcissists under the bus lol"

[quitblamingnarcissism]

i feel bad for everyone in the narc abuse believer community (not really bur ykwim) cuz like, i get it, having to grapple with the fact someone can do horrible awful things for no reason to you is tough. there's no special thing making them "evil" like in cartoons, its a hard thing to get yr mind around that someone would do that to someone. but that doesn't mean you can just make shit up, spread misinfo about abuse and NPD alike, and think its fine.

regardless what abuse you went thru it doesn't give you an excuse to start being awful to other people

esp since how many people want to "hurt/manipulate narcs" like okay then so abuse is fine when you do it? the whole thing is just so wishy washy to me, i don't think we should main characterize mental health like that and treat everyone as either the purrfect victim or the most evil ever, it helps no one.

.

[anti-endo-safe-space]

Who are we/what is this account?

Hey there! You can just call us Spidey. We are, as our blog name suggests, a blog for anti-endos.

Our main inspirations

@antiendovents @antiendothoughts @endosarenotvalid

Things to know about us:

We are not entirely sure if we're OSDD or DID but we know for a fact it is trauma that caused this (there's no other explanation)

We have a few main posters, you guys can call us Lucie, Reg, Rick and Spence

We are not tagging our main blog. That's how we get harassed by endos/endo supporters

We don't like using the term "singlet", it makes us feel uncomfy and think of slices of cheese.

What's the main point of this blog?

To be an anti-endo safe place. We've seen a lot of blogs we thought would be safe for us but they weren't. So, we made our own.

What can you do here?

Systems can: Vent, rant, tell jokes, system confessions, talk about positive things about being a system, basically anything and everything as long as it's not A, purely kink or sexual or B, a proendo thing

People who aren't systems: reblog, ask questions, can vent about stupid things with endos, just please don't claim to be a system or know exactly what they're going through

DNI

Endos

Proendos

Endo Neutral

ED blogs

age play blogs

If you believe in "narc abuse"/any mental health abuse. That shit is toxic as hell

Brings something like religion or war to here. We have our stances, we don't like getting involved with politics like that. Syscourse, okay can do. Other discourse? Cannot

Radqueers

Dragging good faith identities into this. We don't know shit about them, are happier that way

Racist

Basic DNI

TAKEN TAGS

-💜🩰

🪽

🪽🛼

💾 + ☢️

🪽

🫶🏼

*Remember, emojis don't always come through clearly. If you have claimed one and we've said to use it and it hasn't came through, please let us know*

[the-hydra-sys]

Pinned Post / Introduction!

We are Hydra.

Sideblogs:

@the-hydra-sys-spam - Spam, mostly reblogs

@hydra-creates - Requests for templates, userboxes, banners, writing snippets, sketches, etc etc

@michaels-multiverse - Michael rambling about science and source

@tales-from-systok, @tales-from-syscord, @tales-from-sysblr - Askblogs all about people's experiences with system spaces. Positive and negative submissions welcome!

@demonized-infodumps - A blog for rants, rambles, infodumps, and just general community around demonized and stigmatized disorders. A judgement free space.

Discord: the_hydra_sys

Collective Pronouns: Xe/xem and they/them. While most alters are okay with one of these, we prefer you use each specific alter's name/pronouns to talk about/to them unless referring to us as a collective.

Find us on TikTok

Read our system dictionary (google doc)

See Plague's anti-endo community blog masterpost

Join our system-centric discord

[Discord contains a 16+ RAMCOA sector and a sector for systems of colour. Singlets are allowed, but there is a seperate category without them for those that want a system-only space.]

Feel free to send asks, we like answering them!

Sometimes we post about stuff from communities we aren't in, please correct us if we say something wrong, and let us know if we're misusing your community's tags.

Blocklist of narc abuse believers. People w/NPD you are safe here.

Tags, DNI, Alter Info & Sysboxes under the cut.

Tags

#[alter name or emoji] blogs = [alter] is fronting, and they are the one who created a post

#[alter name or emoji] reblogs = [alter] reblogged this post

#[alter name or emoji] opinions = [alter]'s opinions may not align with the rest of the system

#[alter name or emoji] likes = posts [alter] likes

#[alter name or emoji] replies = posts [alter] replies to

#hydra blogs = blogs from our system

#hydra reblogs = reblogs from our system

#hydra opinions = collective opinions

#hydra likes = collective likes

#hydra replies = posts we collectively reply to, typically from our inbox

All posts should have some of these tags. If you see us reblog a post with no tags, or create a post with no tags, it's probably Echo forgetting again. If a post is tagged with 'blurry' or 'anon' in place of the alter name, then it's a blurry alter or an alter who wishes to remain anonymous.

DNI

Racists.

Zionists, nazis, etc.

Misogynists, sexists, etc.

Homophobes, biphobes, lesbophobes, etc.

Arophobes, acephobes, aphobes.

Transphobes, transmisogynysts, transandrophobes.

Anti-furry, anti-therian.

RCTA, DCTA, NCTA, and other transIDs.

Endogenic systems.*

Anyone who uses the word "sysmed." (Pro)endo or not.

Those who say littles can consent to sex/romance.

If you are under the age of 15, please interact with care. Our blog is SFW, however some topics may be heavy and some alters may vent. Please skip these posts if you wish to interact with us as a younger person.

*We are anti-endo, pro-belief, endo-critical and anti-fakeclaiming. If they say they are endogenic, we will simply not interact.

*This DNI does not apply to our syscourse posts.

Fluid Opinions

If you don't agree with these, you can still interact, and we're open to discussion about these.

Transfemme alters in AFAB bodies and transmasc alters in AMAB bodies can exist, but they should clarify that they aren't bodily transfemme/transmasc. The way we see it is that if an AFAB system can't have transfemme alters, then doesn't that imply all of their male alters are trans? Does that mean AFAB systems can't have cis male alters?

Alter Information

In our system, frequent fronters change rapidly, but we'll list our alters most likely to front. Others may sign off from time to time, and you may hear about an alter once but never again - this is to be expected, our alter count is high and constantly fluctuating.

So, with that in mind:

Serpent Hill Fronters

The Nightmare Gang

If we get more frequent fronters, I'll add them!

All sysboxes from sysboxes on tumblr!

Made by Echo

Later edits by: Angeldust, Lexi, Orion

[narcatsisst]

a rant about how fucking ANNOYING my ex was when it came to my npd (even though HE HAD BPD HIMSELF) ok so first off, he was the one to help me realize i probably had bpd. and it was NICE because i was figuring things out abuot myself and i felt like i could talk to him and i was being really open. but after a bit i started feeling weird with the label, and i was noticing that i had a lot of symptoms that didnt match up with bpd, so i started researching other pds, which led me to NPD. but i had a lot of internalized ableism around the idea. so i pushed it inside myself and bottled it up, until i saw something frmo someone with NPD that i related to so deeply that i couldnt push it down anymore so i started doing more research on npd and looked at experiences from people with npd. and it made sense! it made so much sense and looking through tumblr seeing stuff from ppl with npd that were proud of their npd and were open about it and were so similar to me made me happy. so i decided to tell my boyfriend, because he was, yknow, my BOYFRIEND, and i felt i could trust him. i tell hiim that i think i might have it. at the time i was like 99% sure. and the first thing he says is i probably dont because im "too nice" and that hes SCARED. of my fucking personality disorder. which doesnt help my internalized ableism at fucking ALL. but i put it off im like whatever okay hes an anxious person its fine. but no, it just keeps going. he starts to talk about how he thinks his terribly abusive mother has npd. about how he has so much trauma over the term and how his mother is such a terrible narcissist abuser and how he still believes in narc abuse to an extent. and im like, what the fuck? listening to the things hes saying his mom doesnt even seem like a narcissist. she just seems like a regular fucking abuser. but no, of course, tell this to your boyfriend that confided in you about a terribly stigmatized disorder he thinks he might have, because of course thats good (sarcasm). and then he tells me that whenever i talk about npd i trigger him and i shouldnt talk about it so much. i shouldnt talk about my fucking PERSONALITY DISORDER. the disorder that makes up my whole personality, the one that affects the way that i think and view the world and others. but no, of course, youre allowed to talk about your bpd as much as you want, but i cant talk about my npd. (sarcasm again). if you cant handle me talking about it, imagine what its like to fucking LIVE IT. to have a disorder that everywhere i go there comes up shit about how every pwnpd is a terrible abuser and they dont deserve respect, and then i confide in my fucking BOYFRIEND about it, because i TRUST him, and i just get more stigma thrown back at my fucking face. this one is just kind of annoying and not like objectively bad, but i show them this meme one time thats like "what to do to all narcissists: tell them theyre always right" and they respond like "uhm ackshually.... its harmful to feed into their ego and tell them theyre right when they arent" LIKE I FUCKING KNOW YOU IDIOT!!! i know im not always going to be right! i know that!!!! and then they talk about how they arent comfortable when i ask for supply because they dont want to fucking "feed my ego" like what the fuck!!!! what the fuck is wrong with you!!!! and they would get fucking upset when i headcanoned a character to have npd. like what the FUCK is wrong with you. ughh!!!!!! god. they make me so angry!!!!

[cccat-in-a-meat-sack]

Narc abuse believers: narcissistic abuse exists!!!

us: narcissistic abuse doesn't even make sense. it's not specific and tells you literally nothing.

Narc abuse believers: it means someone was abused by a narcissist!!!

us: okay, so we were abused by someone with adhd and someone with bpd, so does that mean we went through adhd abuse and borderline abuse?

narc abuse believers: no!!! you can't say that!!! it's ableist!!!!

us:...do you hear yourself talk

[antipratfaves]

hey hey!!!!!

Billy is an introject in a system from @sataniqueer-ghostie Billy specifically wanted to host this blog (with permission)!!!!!

Billy talks in 3rd person because of it's source, but will use first person or translate if its inaccessable to a piggy (even if it tires Billy)

the blog is a "your fave is" kinda blog! the 'will and wont' section is here

an example could be "Billy Lenz from Black Christmas is ex-radqueer, sataniqueer and transspecies" or just "Billy Lenz is anti-prat". the default flag will be @darlingqueer 's anti radqueer flag unless specified otherwise!

Billy can also do OCs or the requester themselves, but will not do any real people unless theyre a factive.

other common fronters: Ghostie, Mangle, Vivian

we are sataniqueer, mangledqueer, hazardqueer, paxiqueer, and radinclus.

DNI:

safequeers, safequeers, safequeers do not fucking interact, "narc" abuse believers, fully anti-para, truscum, transmeds, terfs, ableists, anti-mspec monos, anti-lesboys/turigirls and adjacent, aspec exclusionary, anti-recovery, can't respect Billy at all, islamophobe, antisemite, anti-theist

keep in mind Billy will enforce the DNI and those who do not respect Billy's DNI will be blocked without a comment.

anti-endos and proshippers are okay but keep in mind Billy is from a partially endogenic, non-disordered system that is generally antiship.

could Billy get it's voice heard?

@antiradqueer @burningradqueers @radqueer-repellant @antirqconfessional @animequeer-yandere and anypiggy else who sees this!!! (Billy already tagged darlingqueer so not bothering to do so again)

[theswiftheartsystem]

Tw: ableism against people with NPD, and discussion of abuse.

I can’t believe a account made a post “calling out narc abuse“ put us as a account to block 😭

anyway, will say it loud and will say it until the very end,

NARC ABUSE ISNT REAL. YES PEOPLE CAN BE ABUSIVE WITH ANY MENTAL DISORDER, BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE IT “[Insert Disorder] abuse”

All it does is hurt others (often other abuse victims, shocker)

Yes, it’s okay to talk about abuse, it’s ok to call out abusive people, but in no way is that an excuse to blame and villainize those with NPD.

To anyone with NPD, or any other disorder that gets the “[insert disorder] abuse” shoved onto it, I’m very sorry. Stay strong.

[cdd-problematics]

Welcome !¡

[pt: welcome. end pt]

This is safe space for problematic alters / problematic systems. You can talk about your experiences or just vent about something.

TWs for the entire account: RAMCOA / OEA, pedophilia, incest, torture, CSA, SA, abuse, hypersexuality, self-harm, death, violence, blood, etc.

This is an anti-endo space. If you're neutral or don't wanna deal with syscourse you're okay, as long as you're traumagenic. If you support endos or are one, I'll ask you to kindly leave.

⚠ TW for blood in layout ⚠

About the people here

[pt: about the people here. end pt]

Mod Gore:

We are a C-DID / polyfrag, OEA system, you can use any pronouns with us, we are 21. We have a lot of problematic alters, alters that hold paraphilias, etc. We are mostly here to talk about our alters from problematic sources and other stuff.

Mod Rockheart:

We are a DID system, we use she/her and he/him pronouns, we are 21. We have alters from several problematic sources, and a few that can be considered bad people (headmates that hold bad stuff like internalized homophobia, transphobia, etc. others with no morals, and more). We want to talk about our problematic sources and also spread some positivity.

DNI & BYF

[pt: do not interact and before you follow. end pt]

dni if you are...

Pro-endos, endos, tulpas, multigenic, any non-traumagenic system and supporters

Basic dni criteria

Terfs, transmeds, etc

Syscourse blogs

Believe in narc abuse or any cluster b abuse

Anti-neopronouns or anti-xenogenders

TransID / supporters, transRAMCOA and similar shit

Pro-shippers and any other term they use

Pro-contact / anti-recovery paraphilias

Singlets

byf...

You can claim a sign off if you wish to

We will reserve the right to block anyone who make us uncomfortable

Feel free to ask any question about us or our alters

What can you do here?

[pt: what can you do here?. end pt]

Rant

Vent

Infodump

Request any post related to the blog

Ask questions

Talk about your experiences

Talk about OEA experiences

Ask Rules

[pt: ask rules. end pt]

Put proper TW and CW, we are people behind a screen, not robots.

Don't use typing quirks or if you do provide a translation.

Please try not to bring discourse / syscourse here (unless it's important for the topic you're touchin)

Taken anons: 🎸, 🐋

Other blogs:

System terms: @cdd-system-terms

System help: @cdd-system-help

Credits:

dividers: @/cafekitsune

acc layout: @/deertism

This blog is inspired by @/problematic-alters-unsilenced

[radiostaticsmile]

I canNOT believe you made a how to spot a narcissist post j cant believe youre a narc abuse truther fuck you I thought you were better than this but I guess you never were I guess you're ableist against narcs I'll check back tomorrow for your new article on how to use a narcissist's mental illness to abuse them because APPARENTLY it's okay to abuse someone if they have the Bad Person Disorder

-Luci @allergictoapples

This is narc abuse. What you are doing to me right now

[a-sip-of-milo]

Sorry for this vent, but I need to get this off my chest. This is gonna be really long.

To the 'narc abuse', 'borderline abuse', 'histrionic abuse' etc truthers:

I've had an incredible life, no trauma whatsoever. I've never known what a mental breakdown is, was top student throughout my school years. No bullies, no mean teachers, no abusive parents. Lived rich, won awards, never had a single problem in my life.

I was still a piece of shit.

I'm not empathetic whatsoever. I don't know how to comfort someone when they cry. I was severely detached with all my classmates I was so fucking insensitive. I throw fits of rage if things aren't as perfect as I visualised them. I always shift the blame to others, and if I'm held accountable, I don't know how to actually feel sorry when apologising, even until now. And I'm a neurotypical.

I don't mind being hated for this next part, it's perfectly understandable. TW for abusive & manipulative behaviour, scroll down until you see a #.

At 10, I called a classmate who was autistic and dyslexic "retarded" for not being able to write something despite knowing damn well they were disabled.

At 11, I verbally abused my 8 year old sister multiple times to the point of tears. I insisted (and believed) that she was just being oversensitive. This behaviour started long ago, this is when it reached its peak. It's still happening, but now she is mature enough to stand up to herself and I am mature enough to not be too harsh.

At 12, I gaslighted my then best friend into thinking she was the problem when we got involved in some drama I started. When she didn't take the fall for me, I ignored her for weeks. She started cutting, and I called her an attention seeker.

From then onwards, things just got worse. I stopped being a responsible child to my parents, frequently blamed my friends for anything that went wrong, and took advantage of my little sister's love for me.

And I did not have a single excuse. All I could say was 'I'm sorry', knowing that I'm lying. It's not that I saw my actions as 'okay', my heart just never ached like it was supposed to.

#

For those that scrolled to skip the triggering parts, I just want to say that I was a shitty person and had no excuse for it. I know that, as a child who had the best circumstances amongst her peers, there is nothing you can forgive about it.

I was, in a way, an abuser too. My friend who, at that time, had undiagnosed BPD, was still kinder than me. And before you anti-pd mfers start attacking me, I wanna tell you loud and clear:

No NPD, no BPD, no HPD, no DID, no BS.

I was an abuser.

I'm a neurotypical.

Sorry this took me so long to get to. I really appreciate and admire your honestly, and I hope that you've taken the steps to better yourself since then. I also hope that these people have found peace.

Thank you for your ask <3

[thecorvidforest]

okay just in case it wasn’t clear, our page is a safe space for people with personality disorders. you are all welcome here. and people who villainize personality disorders, believe in “narc abuse” “BPD abuse” etc, and ableists in general are welcome to fuck off.

[demonic-shadowlucifer]

Let's talk about Online Grooming

(TRIGGER WARNING: As the title suggests, this post talks about grooming and sexual abuse. Reader discretion *HEAVILY* advised). I'm sure most of you already know about this (Especially if you're involved in gaming), but for those who don't or are just finding out (like me lol), YandereDev- yes, *THAT* YandereDev, was recently outed as a predator, and was revealed to have groomed a minor. Now, I've seen multiple conflicting posts on this, so I won't be getting too deep into it. If you'd like more info on it, I advise checking out this video from callimara. However, one thing I do want to point out regarding this subject, is the victim continuously defending her abuser, which has unfortunately resulted in victim blaming from multiple of YanDev's supporters. And that's actually why I'm making this post in the first place. While grooming can be done both online and offline, this mostly focuses on online grooming, as well as E-CSA, which is something I don't see talked about often at all. This gets pretty triggering, so if you don't have the stomach to handle this, go back now. Lastly, YanDev defenders and 'Narc Abuse' believers do NOT fucking touch this. You WILL be blocked on sight.

What is Grooming?

Grooming is a series of abusive behaviors that are used by abusers as a means to establish a relationship with their victim to eventually exploit. While it can be used with any form of abuse, the most common is sexual abuse, particularly towards children. What is E-CSA? E-CSA is the use of technology or the internet to sexually abuse children. This can be done in many ways, and one of the most common forms of E-CSA is grooming. How grooming occurs.

Predators will usually pretend that they are a minor themselves in order to get with their victim, which can make it difficult to identify a predator. Offenders will usually try to develop a bond with their victim, typically using the promise of gifts or something else. Disturbingly, offenders might resort to threats, or manipulate their victim into accepting their behavior. Once the victim is vulnerable, the offender may make an advance onto their victim. The offender may also try to isolate their victims from their friends and family, making the abuse worse. When called out on their abuse, some offenders might also deflect their blame on the victim, making it harder for the victim to seek justice (Does "Colleen Ballinger" ring a bell to some of you?) Why might victims defend their abusers? Unfortunately, a lot of victims tend to defend their abusers as well. To make it clear: This does NOT make the abuse okay nor does it mean the victim was at fault. There are multiple reasons why abuse victims, grooming victims or otherwise, will defend their abusers, the most common reasons being: -The victim might be thinking the abuse was normal, and are in denial that they were abused. -The victim is being threatened by the abuser. -The victim might have developed a genuine bond with their abuser. This is what's known as "Stockholm Syndrome" or "Trauma Bonding". Victims with disabilities such as autism might also have trouble realizing that they were abused. The victim's environment can also have an impact. Signs of grooming: -Heavy age gaps. This one depends on how old two folks were when they met. -Sexualized behavior, especially if that person is a minor. -Isolation. -Being secretive. And so much more. What to do if you have been groomed: -If you can, cut off contact with the abuser and contact authorities. -Remind yourself that it's not your fault. -If you can afford it, consider getting a therapist to check in with your mental health. -If you have met up with the groomer and have had sexual contact with them, get a STD test just to be safe. STDs can result from sexual abuse. -Additionally, if you are someone who can get pregnant, get a pregnancy test. Additionally, if you know someone who has been groomed, tell them any of the above. My Experiences: Unfortunately, I myself was groomed online many times by different people. However, the experience I'm sharing is the one that impacted me the most. The abuse happened on Discord and at times DeviantArt and Hangouts, but mostly Discord (Sidenote: If I see you making a "Discord Mod" or "Discord kitten" joke, you'll be blocked /srs. I hate that I even have to say this). I was 10, and he was 16 at the time. The abuse first started via roleplay, which was normal at first, but then it started to become sexual. And me, being the naive fucker I was, didn't even notice it was wrong. And I thought it was okay because we were both minors. (There is also the chance he could've been lying about being 16, however I have no intentions on digging that up). People were quick to catch what was happening, however, instead of helping me, most folks got mad at me for it and I ended up banned from a server as a result (The reason for the ban was "NSFW"- even though I wasn't the only person posting such). This also resulted in a series of harassment which has negatively impacted my mental health. The harassment has since stopped, but it still hurts me to this day.

The harassment from others led to me getting closer with my abuser, which resulted in the grooming continuing for atleast two more years. It was only after someone intervened (via even more traumatic methods, but I'll spare you the details) in which the roleplay stopped. However, thanks to a friend (Who had recently been promoted to mod within the same community the abuse occured in) who eventually enlightened me on what actually happened, I was able to cut off contact with him for good. I will admit, I still feel guilty for letting this happen, though I am working on it! At this time, I don't plan on reporting my abuser to authorities, nor will I be able to since I unfortunately lost most screenshots of the abuse (That, and this individual isn't in the same US state, so it'd be kinda difficult to do so).