#aspd asks

[the-bonfires-ember]

Hey, so you're someone who's actually been diagnosed with ASPD right? I get that vibe from your blog.

Does seeing painful injuries on other people make you uncomfortable? Asking because I was researching eye injuries for a writing session today, which I found extremely unpleasant. I know it's not an empathy related thing for me- because I hate the character I'm writing at the moment so even if he existed irl I wouldn't feel bad for him. I just really don't like thinking about anyone's eye being injured, regardless of who it belongs to.

I am professionally diagnosed yes!

Painful injuries, typically no. But I have some like body horror squicks which I would categorise as a different thing. Seeing people in the ER at hospital covered in blood with bones sticking out or whatever doesn’t phase me. But there was a film on Netflix, I forget its name, that has a cover photo of a razor blade millimetres from an eyeball and that always grossed me out. And anything to do with nails being torn up and back from the nail bed, I hate that too.

So occasionally some body horror stuff gets me but it’s typically very specific. In real life, not so much but I’m sure something particularly horrific would get to me.

I also agree it’s not an empathy thing, it’s just gross lol.

[divinerapturesys]

is it weird i feel like im “too goofy” to be someone that can have/may develop aspd traits/aspd? i feel like i laugh and smile too much to have any disorder actually, but specially aspd/aspd traits and i feel like im faking it

its probably rooted in stereotypes about people who have any disorders that are seen as scary and dangerous and evil, but i feel like this all the time and its enough to bother me

A disorder doesn’t mean you can’t be funny 👍🏻 it’s definitely rooted in stereotypes

I’m funny as hell according to our friend groups and most of my humor is dark as fuck. I also smile a lot; it’s instinctual regardless of the situation, and oftentimes the smiling is not at a good time, ie during arguments or depressing or deep moments. It’s an involuntary physical reaction that’s usually caused by some sort of underlying anxiety or nervousness, so my smiles are what I would call,, not genuine.

[amore-roseae]

Fair warning, if you have a bluesky account and are open about being Cluster B in any way, check clearsky and look yourself up on it. Chances are you may be on this list, much like myself lmao. Warning for classic Cluster B demonization in the description:

I've already said my piece on when I found out I was put on a list like this with a desc like that. TL;DR: it's foul to be accused of being automatically abusive just because I have a disorder that I didn't ask for from being abused myself and also imply I (and everyone on this list) was also never traumatized/abused... and god forbid these people ever listen to any sort of sensible and reasonable attempt at educating them.

Also I'm not sure why 'MAP' is being included in this list as well. When I originally checked this list it wasn't there, but whoever is running this added it recently for whatever reason...? Really fucking weird.

[alexandraisyes]

You did mention people with ASPD having weird sense of smell, and that's something I've seen quite a lot recently (probably i haven't paid much attention it much till now) but is there another way this specific thing shows up in your personal experience, than the smell of decay/rot?

I can't smell a lot of chemicals! Which is actually really dangerous haha. I also have a hard time smelling blood. Things have to be really strong and like right in my face for me to smell them. I don't tend to smell food unless I'm right in front of it, even if it's being cooked and everyone else can smell it all over the house, and even then I may not smell it. I can't tell if something has gone bad in food either (this has given me food poisoning multiple times). I have a hard time smelling things like uh cat piss, or shit, things that need to be cleaned up if your pet has an accident. This can also be an issue in depressive episodes too where I'm just bed rotting for days on end because I can't tell how badly my hygiene is slipping. Thankfully I don't have that issue when I live with other people, because they'll notice before I do.

I really like the smell of baked goods! I can smell vanilla really easily, it's one of my favorite smells! I also like the smell of oranges.

I can smell drinking alcohol really easily, and I know before tasting if something has even a little bit of alcoholic content even when everyone else insists it's not something that can be smelled. I have a hard time with weird smells like gasoline, sometimes I can smell it sometimes I can't.

I think everyone's experiences with ASPD and smells are different, and I have heard things about other cluster B disorders too, it's just not as prevalent? Or maybe I'm just not looking in the right places haha! A big part of it is the that smells are tied into our fear and pleasure responses, which are really fucked up in ASPD, and so sometimes I have really weird reactions to things that I can smell, like rot haha! I've never been bothered by the smell of rotting animals or disease, I actually think it's a really sweet smell! It reminds me of cotton candy, but not in a smell way in a like. . . vibes way haha.

[lyxthen]

Gravity Falls is about old men with personality disorders

[liketwoswansinbalance]

What would Rhian do if Rafal started having a panic attack and just could not calm down?

The scenario seems unlikely, given Rafal's relatively unflappable, impassive temperament and how he doesn't seem to exhibit PTSD symptoms, but this scenario is also very interesting, and I would really like to know what could possibly trigger a panic attack of that intensity in him. It'd probably have to be something unimaginably horrible? (Literally, I don't have a good answer at the moment for possible hair-raising stimuli to him, as much as we joke about Rafal vs. pirates.)

If he did have a panic attack, I feel like it would be most in character of him to dissociate/undergo depersonalization and feel like a third party observer to his life or a singular event, whether it's unfolding or oncoming. And he would only stand still with bated breath in abject dread at some kind of figurative tidal wave he's about to be bombarded with.

It would probably be a silent panic attack, not an outburst or a weepy/breathy one—and he might have the blue-screen-of-death type of feeling/expression, during which nothing new on the outside is being registered and processed because he's gone numb and detached. Like, his eyes would be open, and he'd look, but he wouldn't see or comprehend. He may as well have been gazing at the backs of his lids, or at a blur, or feel dark/reddish pulsing.

Ok, brace yourselves—

This is the worst-case scenario in relation to this fascinating ask:

Rafal falls into a fugue state and wanders away from home (and Rhian doesn't stop him or think to stop him because Rafal's left without any prior notice before. He has a history of it. And, he literally just disappears and reappears at will, seemingly well mentally, like it's a magic trick. So, whatever Rafal does, wherever he goes, if action is needed at all, it must be some practice of self-regulation, given his unwillingness to rely on anyone else. And most unsettling of all: again, no one would be able to distinguish the panic attack from every other time Rafal's casually left.)

And while I'm sure this isn't canon, we could make the leap that he could have been hurt enough by Rhian's jab at his pride at the start of Rise that there is, I suppose, a non-zero chance of this having happened when he first struck out on his own (during the time gap, pre-meeting Hook).

Actually, a lot of Rafal's behaviors align with schizoid personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, autism, paranoid personality disorder, anhedonia, and obsessive compulsive personality disorder—I don't necessarily think he's affected by any one of these conditions alone. Any kind of comorbidity is possible. And yet, oddly enough, I can't see PTSD as likely because: either his trauma is invisible or he's more likely to be the one inflicting trauma on others than ever experiencing it or irrational fears himself.

Anyway, as for my answer—first, Rhian would probably try to ground Rafal in the world and keep Rafal responsive.

In the case of Rhian not knowing how to deal with panic attacks, perhaps, he could try to shake/slap some sense into Rafal.

If both of these tactics were to fail, the "kindest" solution would probably be to sedate or safely render Rafal unconscious with magic before his feelings escalated any further or he lost consciousness due to hyperventilation. So, if Rhian could keep a clear head while all this were going on, I suspect that's what he would do.

And let's face it: This is entirely conditional—it would only be so if Rhian were even there, as, the possibility of Rafal just up and leaving, (and not accepting any help, if anyone even notices anything off about him) is still firmly on the table.

However, Rhian's anxious tendencies could interfere with taking an appropriate or any course of action for that matter. He could freeze up at the sight of Rafal in this state as it could very well be a novel occurrence. And, if he didn't know what to do, his mind could go blank out of stress, fear, and/or shock. At best though, he could get Rafal medical assistance/psychological attention, whichever services exist in the Woods.

In fact, I think Rhian would try to "fix" the feeling/reaction itself, only what's being presented to him, that's observable, not the situation or root cause of Rafal's panic attack. And, ordinary words/gestures of reassurance would not be enough, if he can't be calmed.

There's even a chance Rhian could be afraid of touching or attempting to hug Rafal in a state like that, due to a fear of disturbing Rafal(?), even if he could hold the instinct to do so.

I'm not sure it would ever cross Rhian's mind to deal with Rafal's panic from the outside, as in, directly removing the distressing stimuli or dealing head-on with some source of trauma or approximation of trauma, if the stimulus is adjacent to but not the exact thing which would set off Rafal's response, or "under-response," knowing him.

There's also an off-chance that certain behaviors of Rhian's are triggers to Rafal, but that neither of them know it. The opposite is also probably true, considering Rhian was set off, in a way, at the end of Fall by the weighty/selfish but relatively innocuous offer Rafal extended to him.

Thus, I think there's a definite, non-zero chance they've each traumatized the other and cannot recognize it because they're so entrenched in their relationship and cannot view it objectively.

Lastly, keep in mind that I am not an expert or an actual psychologist. I have only tried to not misinform. I invite you to correct me if anything is wrong.

Thoughts or reactions, anyone?! I'm not sure whether my answer is predictable or provocative.

[npd-culture-is-blog]

NPD plus ASPD culture is not giving a single shit about how people perceive you, but also being extremely preoccupied with *how much* they do. Like yeah, I'm unforgettable and if you don't remember me then you're a fucking moron and you should die. - ♱

[crooked-wasteland]

It’s okay to defend Stolas but it’s not okay to excuse his actions or villainize Blitz and Octavia

By way of Explanation, Excuse, and the Paradox of "Good Damage"

I think a lot of people struggle to find the difference between an explanation and an excuse. Especially when it comes to the internet and our knack online of taking all statements as an extreme. It also folds into the growing immaturity in society to not be able to grasp nuance in communication, or even recognize that talking to each other is still all about interpretation.

I think this can go back to the misunderstanding between myself and the other Anon where they felt the need to respond and assure everyone that they didn't find Medrano a malevolent/malicious person. And that's because I used the word malicious. But I use words in a different way than most people. So I explained how words function for me and what I mean when I use a word like "malicious", but I also still apologize. Because I have the social awareness to see that, on a platform that is seen by dozens of users, my use of words is 1) not universally understood and 2) can give an unfair impression of the Anon to others who see my response.

It's not fair for a misunderstanding caused by me to characterize someone else and their intentions to others. So, of course, I will always apologize for that. Because there is a lot of power we hold over our anons. Everyone who comes to my page will understand the Anon through my myopic perspective based on my response. And that is also filmed over with their own wheelhouse of how they view the world.

Malicious doesn't typically mean "intentional actions that result in obvious negative outcomes". It usually means with cruelty/malice and an intention to do harm.

When I say Malicious, I don't mean that someone does something with the intention of harm. Just that they had intentions, and the obvious outcome would be harmful. I genuinely think most actions I call "malicious" are made from ignorance and a lack of thought.

Ignorant is the same as Malicious to me.

And this is where I think an explanation and an excuse diverge in reality: an excuse seeks to rewrite the events by defining the entire action through one's own intentions while an explanation gives information to share in one's own perspective while understanding that their response did or had potential to cause harm and thus still apologizing for it.

And not an apology like "I'm sorry you feel that way" but taking accountability for the repercussions that may have occurred. Like in the case of myself, I could have accidentally made my other Anon out to be a fanatical hater who thinks of Medrano as the worst person when they really don't. And because I'm the one amplifying that potential characterization, it is my responsibility to correct it and take ownership of the negative impact my actions could have caused.

For Stolas in particular, the reason why the show never gets the feeling of an "explanation" is because it seems that Stolas never faces the repercussions of his own actions.

He is the one who starts the deal with the book, but it is Blitz who is put on trial.

Stolas is the one who instigates the sexual encounters throughout the show, but it is Blitz who is being unfair in New Moon and needs to apologize

It is Stolas who doesn't divorce his abusive wife and subjects his daughter to that home life/lying to his daughter about her own upbringing, but it's Octavia's fault for being hurt by it which is also framed as unreasonable.

There is no point where Stolas actually takes ownership of what he's done, and accept it. In New Moon, he "apologizes" for using Blitz, but when Blitz lashes put in confusion and anger (because he is taken off guard and Stolas is jerking him around by defining their relationship without his involvement, which is hugely disrespectful) Stolas doesn't accept that responsibility. He runs away, literally. He immediately goes into self-pity, which is why the "apology" in Full Moon is an excuse.

The whole problem in their relationship is that Stolas defines every aspect of it alone. He makes the deal up without input from Blitz (who is socially and materially powerless) and in the same way he made the deal, he ends it; entirely without any input from Blitz. The way Stolas doesn't just connect with Blitz about how he has been feeling. Instead he talks down to Blitz by saying the deal is "wrong", as if Blitz is a literal child and wouldn't understand what Stolas has been doing to him.

Stolas' whole apology actively takes agency away from Blitz by the simple way he does it: without consultation.

And this is the exact same problem in his relationship with Octavia. He assumes he knows best for everyone, and then says he isn't valuable enough to take care of himself in the service of others, but that's actually a form of narcissistic grandiosity. He places himself on a pedestal through his martyrdom.

I get if that seems paradoxical but it is something you find most often in people who suffer religious trauma. Jesus Christ is the ultimate martyr who suffered and died for our sins. And in regards to Stolas' behavior, it is a parody of that construct, and it's something a lot of mentally ill people do in real life.

And this is what Bojack Horseman, the show, calls "Good Damage". That someone's suffering and pain happens for a reason, even if it isn't a cosmic reason like being some religious Messiah. Bojack Horseman is a very non-denominational show with no clear religious affiliation, so much of this kind of philosophy is filtered through a godless lens and into existentialism. By which I mean there is not an inherent reason for things to happen. There is no God to will for people to die and there is no afterlife that we are striving to secure. So like Existentialists Søren Kierkegaard and Albert Camus explain, we have to make that meaning for ourselves.

Diane is the best example to show how this sort of martyrdom is a form of narcissistic grandiosity and how trying to make one's suffering mean something is actively harmful to one's own mental health and our relationships.

"Because! If I don't, that means that all the damage I got isn't Good Damage, it's just damage. I have gotten anything out of it and all those years I was miserable was for nothing ... I thought that everything, all the abuse and neglect, it somehow made me special."

This is textbook grandiosity. This is the core of most personality disorders, in fact. Specifically in the sphere of cluster B personality types such as Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and Anti-Social Personality Disorder.

This is a coping mechanism. It's shifting the narrative of what happened so that it wasn't just something unfair and painful that you went through for no reason. It's a way of preserving a sense of self as a child, in the face of abuse and neglect, to just be able to survive and just keep living. It's making some purpose because if you don't have one, why keep living.

It's something I lived through. I'm currently in remission for my diagnosis, but that isn't the same as cured. Being in remission just means a reduction or absence of symptoms, but that doesn't mean that the disordered thoughts are gone. Symptoms are just what others see, not what is going on inside your head. You have to consistently choose to not engage with those disordered thoughts and feelings, and you have to make that active choice to not be that person any longer.

Stolas never has to suffer the costs of his own behavior, instead his character is still very quickly on that downward trajectory. And, frankly, that's not an actual problem!

Stolas maybe hasn't hit his stride as a character, but the issue is that Blitz has. The confusion for most people exists, then, in how the world has changed for Stolas while Stolas has stayed the same. Change comes when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. It's true in life as it is in storytelling. Mental health doesn't get better until we choose to change.

But Blitz changed for no reason. In fact, his pain has been and still is caused by Stolas. And seeing as Blitz, not Stolas, is the main character, perhaps fans can be more forgiving over the fact that Stolas is still seen as the villain for a good amount of people.

There sure is a lot of emphasis on himself throughout all this "giving" he's done. And all it does is prove Blitz in New Moon correct. This is a bizarre show that genuinely doesn't understand that there is no good damage, just narcissistic martyrdom. And like all narcissism, it is toxic, manipulative, and corrosive.

There is no genuine love shown by any character in this series.

[antisocialsharky]

Hello! I have a question, so I have an OC that has ASPD and I feel like I'm struggling to show the symptoms of it in my writings for them, I don't want to make their whole personality their discord but I also kinda want to show that something isn't completely alright with them, is there any subtle ways of writing/showing ASPD? I'm really sorry if this question is confusing!

Hi ^^ That'll highly depend on your individual character and the type of ASPD symptom combination you're trying to portray, as well as the individuals personal stance towards their symptoms, their therapy progress and what type of society you're writing the character into! So these suggestions might not fit/you may need to adjust them regarding those points:

• having unconventional ways of showing love/appreciation/affection => imagine character A. struggling with something and character B. comes along, plops a cat in their lap, says "found that around the corner, now smile", cus B. knows that A. likes cats and that that may comfort them, so they grab a random cat to cheer them up, or yk stuff like that? just something that would make other characters around them go "wtf?" but that is at its core still motivated by wanting the other person to feel better and just not knowing how to do it in conventional ways

• a sort of possessive aggressive attitude that may have to be reigned in by the partner/friends/parents/etc. at times => imagine character A. talks about having been accidentally pushed by another shopper and character B. just aggressively mumbles threats immediately, or character A. wants to go out with friends and character B. asks if they need a bodyguard to bash the touchy douchebags into the wall. and character A. going "hey reign in the violence please, this situation doesn't require that" or sum? if you get the vibe? sort of in the way that shows that character B's first instinct is to react aggressively and that they don't know in which situation its appropiate, but A. casually reminds them of it

• casually throwing in an absence of prosocial reactions => mentioning them not seeming very moved by a catastrophe, remarking how their emotions dont seem to go very deep, touching on a lack of social skills, showing that their relationships dont seem to be too emotionally involved, etc. but just...casually? like "...everyone was crying, lying in each others arms, as the TV showed the bomb detonate and the rubble crumble down, burying bodies beneath it. it took a while for everyone to calm down, A. was wiping the tears of their cheeks, C. had their head buried in B's arms, who had been as unbothered as usual trough the whole thing and soon went to make tea for everyone, as D. declared they needed some distraction" => including B. in the group dynamic but still making sure to hint that they don't care about the event itself. you can alter how obvious you wanna make it and whether you'd like to leave room for doubt...like as to whether they just seem unbothered or actually are, whether they make insensitive comments or not, etc.

• showing impulsivity/irresponsibility as a sort of playful/funny thing to the group => "A. asked: 'where the fuck is this duck coming from', as they watched C. sitting on a blanket under a tree, with a duck nibbling away on some crumbs next to them. 'I dont know, I think B. stole it from the pond or something? He keeps dragging in new animals, can't keep himself from picking them up', C. answered, grinning at their friend. 'well at least hes no longer going after peoples pets...', D giggled as they plopped down next to C. 'remember how furious old Mrs. Maddison was when B. knicked her cat for a few hours to see how many mice it would chase before it got tired? that cat refused to move a single inch afterwards', the three broke out in laughter at the memory" => bit less subtle, but you know just casually remarking on how the ASPD character stole something, or is gonna be like "chill I'll give it back in a bit...probably", or is absolutely oblivious that they did something mean/against the law, because their friends think its funny? casually remarking on them not going to work, not turning in assignments a la " 'are they coming into work today?' 'its B. so of course not' " etc.

• showing the lack of remorse as an accepted not uncommon response while highlighting the way they go around it => " C. smiled at the roses in the glass vase on the table, carefully touching them with their fingers. 'Did B. apologize for what they did', A. asked, sitting down opposite of their friend. 'B. doesn't do apologies, but I woke up to these roses, so we're good', C. smiled, 'Its not like they'd feel sorry anyway, as long as they try to make me feel better I don't have a reason to complain', they added with a shrug" => depends on the dynamic and what type of apologies parties require ofc, but showing the alternative way of cheering the other up and showing that B. recognized its needed? casually throwing in that they wouldnt feel sorry anyway, but C. is satisfied with it and thats all that matters? that sorta stuff

• hinting at a bad family history that explains a behavior they show => " A. put an arm around C. and shook her head: 'I cant believe B. would just leave you here after a literal argument, what an ass, did not one teach him how to treat a partner?' C. put her arm around A.'s waist and laughed bitterly: 'Who should have? That absent father of his or his mother who'd just slap him for every mistake. No, its no wonder B. ran at the first opportunity. He'll be back, he always is' " => not too on the nose in regards to ASPD specifically, but giving background info that hints at trauma and having problems because of it.

And yeah...you basically do that with every symptom you wanna show. Making a condition less obvious and less central is usually done by giving the character people that are used to it and make it seem normal, by putting them in a society where those behaviors are less judged, or by showing some progress of working around it while still highlighting that it causes issues! Hope that helps, tho feel free to DM me if you need any advice for specific situations ^^

[cluster-b-culture-is]

(possibly) cluster B culture is wanting to stab urself in public to make sure everybody knows something's deeply wrong with you so that you get the spotlight, and at the same time hate being pitied or show any weakness or receive the consequences

.

[divinerapturesys]

I leaned from (to my knowledge) an unvetted source that AsPD can result in an inability to re-experience a past emotion. If something embarrassing happened yesterday, a person with AsPD might remember the event, but won't feel the embarrassment during that recollection. Someone without AsPD might get embarrassed all over again.

Have you found that to be relatable in any way to your experiences?

It is always a 60/40 for me tbh. My strongest emotion is anger. That runs at 200% while everything else runs at a solid 15%.

I’m much more likely to recall an event that caused me anger at the time, and get angry again, than I am to recall something that made me feel embarassed or guilty and feel those types of emotions again.

I think it’s because my capacity for emotions is so low, that experiencing one’s that are more complex is just fucking harder. Anger is straightforward and easy to understand. Something like guilt though? That’s layers like an onion girliepop and I don’t have the emotional capacity to be dicing and slicing to reach the core every damn time I remember something.

You could also attribute this to survival. People that recall shit that makes them feel embarassed, etc each time? that makes them vulnerable and/or weak to manipulation from the person who made them feel guilty/embarassed, and they will not last very long.

- Kincaid 🩸

[lov3-lik3-ghosts]

Hello can I request a jasper hale x reader where reader has a vary hard time with emotions and feels numb most of the time basically atpd (anti social personality disorder) I wanna know how he would react to it because of his gift

That's all have a good day (:

ASPD vs. Jasper’s Gift

Pairing: Jasper Hale x reader.

Summary: Platonic hc’s for aspd!reader and Jasper.

Warnings: Not beta nor proofread. Possible misrepresentation!!!

Format: Headcanon’s.

Word count: 275.

Authors note: Hiii, thank you for requesting, I’m so sorry for the long wait. I tried my best to create an accurate representation of ASPD but Google can only tell me so much. My apologies for any misrepresentation! Have a good day too :)

| mother m-list

• Jasper struggles with the lack of emotion you feel. He’s so used to being able to feel the emotions of those around him that you’re like a too deep breath of air.

• He learns how to pick up on the things that even you might not. Like changes in your expression or slight inflictions of your mood.

• He actually manages to make a small game of sending you flushes of happiness, sometimes you’re receptive and others you just glare at him.

• If you had a lack of respect towards others, he’d struggle to be around you as often. He was raised in the south and respect tends to be a big thing there.

• He loves that there’s no fear in you when you find out that they’re cold ones, it lifts a huge weight off his chest.

• He loves it a little less when your mind instantly goes to all the chaos you could cause with him because of it.

• He’s a little confused at what you feel when you find out they’re ‘vegetarians’. It’s somehow an influx of everything and nothing all at once.

• He’s actually quite sad when he realises he doesn’t often feel good emotions emit from you. He usually doesn’t like feeling any emotions at all, he feels almost like he’s being deceitful.

• He’s great at soothing any rage you feel but not so great at stopping you from being chaotic, (Emmett’s usually there to help you with the chaos (he joins in)).

• He’d never thought about you not feeling caring emotions towards him until you actually felt them (you were nearly knocked over by the reciprocation he sent your way).

~ 𐀔 ~ 𐀔 ~ 𐀔 ~

Likes, comments and reblogs are extremely appreciated and very encouraging!

I do not give my permission for my work to be translated or reposted on this site or otherwise!

[praisetheaxolotl]

Speculating on what mental illnesses Bill has is fun and all but I'm on my hands and knees begging you guys to NOT get all your info on sociopaths from Hollywood and maybe check out the actuallyaspd tag while you're at it. Hands and knees, guys. Speculation is fun but when you use real-world stereotypes that actually hurt real mentally ill people to do it then it becomes phenominally less fun for those mentally ill people, some of whom may actually exist and be regular guys in fandom and have to see the shit you're saying about them. Allegedly.

[npdculture]

npd culture is i can't tell people to kts because it will lower my reputation so i try to mentally make them. like just look at them and aggressively think "die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die die"

💜

[alexandraisyes]

What is the difference between sociopath and psychopath?

OH! OH OH OH I LOVE THIS QUESTION. Also this is a massive explanation that really goes in-depth about neurology so I'll do a read more.

The main difference is that a psychopath is born with ASPD. A sociopath develops it during early (we're talking starting off as young as 2) childhood due to severe long-term (several years) abuse and neglect (generally from main caretakers).

There are also some nuances in how a socio's brain works in comparison to a psycho's. But the major difference that really determines all of the minor differences is that a psychopath doesn't necessarily have trauma related to their ASPD, and tends to have a lot less comorbid disorders. A sociopath ALWAYS has trauma that directly caused their ASPD and a fucking CVS receipt of comorbid disorders the large majority of the time.

There are also more sociopaths than there are psychopaths. The physiology of ASPD is that the brain's structure is different from an empathetic person. Specifically in the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala, because there's not enough activity in those areas for someone with ASPD. The prefrontal cortex is involved in decision-making, impulse control, and regulation of social behavior, and the amygdala is involved in emotion processing and fear response. Abnormalities in the amygdala contribute to a lack of empathy and increased aggression (aggression does NOT equal violence in this case, but rather an increased and pervasive level of negative emotion that makes you more likely to act out). Genetics have been proven to play a factor in how likely someone who was born empathetic would develop ASPD.

The difference here is that a psychopath is born with reduced blood flow to those areas. No trauma needed, that's just how they work.

On the contrary, a sociopath develops reduced blood flow to those areas because if you live in an environment that fosters the growth of anti-social traits and behaviors you are not exercising those parts of your brain. I'll go into a deep dive about the neurological aspects of how formative trauma turns into ASPD.

Chronic stress from abuse can impair the development of the prefrontal cortex; reduced activity or structural abnormalities in this area can lead to increased impulsivity and difficulty regulating emotions. The amygdala becomes hyperactive due to repeated exposure to threatening situations. This results in heightened aggression and reduced ability to empathize with others. Abuse can lead to a smaller hippocampus, impairing the ability to process emotions and increasing vulnerability to stress.

Chronic abuse elevates cortisol levels (the stress hormone), which can alter brain function and structure. Persistent high cortisol levels can damage the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus, exacerbating emotional and behavioral regulation issues. Serotonin and dopamine neurotransmitters regulate mood and behavior. Abuse can disrupt their levels, contributing to aggression, impulsivity, and difficulty experiencing pleasure or reward.

The autonomic nervous system (ANS) becomes hyperactive, leading to a state of constant alertness and readiness for perceived threats. This can cause chronic anxiety, irritability, and aggressive responses. Conversely, some individuals may develop a blunted stress response, showing reduced physiological reactions to stress. This can lead to a lack of fear or concern for consequences. (These two may combine so that safe things trigger stress and unsafe things do not).

Abusive environments can impair the development of secure attachments, leading to difficulties in forming trusting relationships. This can foster detachment, manipulative behavior, and a lack of empathy. Inconsistent or abusive parenting can disrupt normal emotional development, making it difficult for individuals to manage their emotions and impulses. This can result in volatile behavior and poor emotional control. Abusive environments often model and reinforce antisocial behaviors. Children learn to cope with stress through aggression or manipulation, which can become ingrained patterns of behavior. Abusive environments can impede moral development, leading to difficulties in understanding and adhering to societal norms and rules. This can result in a disregard for others' rights and a propensity for criminal behavior.

Trauma and abuse can also alter gene expression through epigenetic changes, affecting the brain's development and function. These changes can increase the risk of developing ASPD by influencing genes involved in stress response, emotional regulation, and social behavior.

A lot of people who went through severe childhood abuse may experience anti-social symptoms without having full-blown ASPD. When I was younger I did a genetic test that led to some very fascinating results that now that I'm older and understand my disorder I understand how my ASPD ties directly into my genetic depression, or rather my genetic depression is caused by my ASPD.

I don't process/produce Vitamin B6, B9 (Folate), and B12. These vitamins are crucial for brain function and the production of neurotransmitters. Deficiencies lead to mood disorders, cognitive impairments, and other neurological issues. B vitamins are involved in synthesizing neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, which regulate mood and behavior. These are neurotransmitters that act as natural painkillers and mood enhancers. B vitamins play a role in the metabolic pathways that produce endorphins. An inability to properly absorb, process, or produce B vitamins can disrupt these pathways, leading to lower endorphin levels, which can contribute to symptoms of depression and affect overall mental well-being.

Because of how specific my issue is I had to take a specialized blend of B Vitamins. Unfortunately once I turned 18 my parents stopped buying them for me and I haven't had the funds to purchase my own at all since I was cut off (which has led to my mental health tanking). I strongly suggest anyone who deals with anti-social traits in a way that is disruptive to their daily life to look into these. You can't generally find them at a drug store, but they're on Amazon for 25-ish USD for a month's worth bottle. Which is really good because when my parents were buying them two years ago or so they were 40$ a bottle.

I have been on all sorts of mood stabilizing medications, psychosis medications, anti-depressants, anxiety medication, etc. None of them worked because we didn't know what exactly was wrong with me. All it did was make it so I couldn't feel the negative emotions properly, so I was constantly numb. What the vitamins did for me is that they let me process passive endorphin exchange and metabolism for the first time in my life, which meant that there wasn't a drastic barrier between me and positive emotions.

I strongly suggest this for anyone who is also just dealing with mood instabilities/disorders because it helped immensely. I'm bipolar two and I wasn't dealing with any major manic episodes while I was on them for about two years, so it helped drastically in that aspect too.

I know this got a little off the rails, but sociopathy is such a hard disorder to deal with, and it's so demonized by the media. Just telling someone you're a clinical sociopath is enough for them to kick you out of their life, even though it has no reflection on your character and is just an outcome of a horrible, hell-like childhood. So I think it's important for ASPD voices to speak up about the disorder when they can and try to dispel some of the awful stigmatization.

[aspd-culture]

would it be strange if i reclaimed psychopath if i was armchair diagnosed as a kid? + i do have aspd traits but not particularly in a situation where i can get a psych eval

Being armchair diagnosed, especially as a child, is not enough to know if you have ASPD. We’re perfectly cool with self-diagnosis here, but it needs to be well researched. One thing you’ll find in the process of that research is why that “as a child” is a problem. ASPD cannot be diagnosed as a child for a reason: because under the age of 18 the traits are not able to be differentiated between normal stressed teenage behavior and in children younger than that, there is a high potential they will not go on to develop ASPD despite having traits of it.

There is quite a high threshold of things that need to go awry in neurological development for someone to end up with a trauma based personality disorder. ASPD in particular comes with a strong potential to avoid the traits becoming the PD if a child or honestly even a teenager is introduced to the support system they need and given reason to trust it.

And even as an adult, you can have some traits without having the disorder. I would definitely do some research, starting with but not exclusively reading the current DSM (DSM V-TR) entry on ASPD, and not just what’s posted in my bio, that’s the criteria but none of the important surrounding information in the ASPD section. That’ll go over a lot of info, and from there you wanna go through both scholarly stuff (articles & research papers - many of which will be stigmatized but it’s important to read because somewhere in there they hide some good info), and anecdotal stuff like this blog but not just this blog. Take in as much information as you can, learn about what it is and what it isn’t, and especially learn about the things that are similar to ASPD but are not ASPD. There are other disorders that look similar, but have key differences.

I suggest all this because unlike some disorders that are either easy to self diagnose (panic disorder - the main thing you need to know is if you have panic attacks, and if you have panic attacks about the fear of having a panic attack) or at least much more straightforward than self diagnosing a personality disorder. PDs are in fact some of the most complicated disorders to categorize and diagnose - even professionally - because when something is affecting every facet of someone’s personality, it’s not going to be easy to figure out what’s a symptom vs what’s situational. They usually require a long rapport with the diagnosing professional because they have to be persistent and consistent across time and situations. That means that it’s not something you can look into quickly and decide, you’ll need to keep watching for the symptoms once you know them and see if you are responding that way across the board or if something is triggering that response in only certain situations.

I can’t stop you from using that term, but I can say that being armchair diagnosed as a child is not a good way to figure out if you have something as complicated as a personality disorder. Honestly, a big reason that I say to people that they need to look at other anecdotal sources from other places too is because someone I’m very close with who has known me for over 10 years at this point and lives with me has BPD and thought I did too, like was 100% certain. In fact they directly thought I had the hyper-empathy of BPD - and so did my ex who knew me for much less time but also has BPD. Even having the disorder yourself and knowing someone for a long time doesn’t mean you can accurately armchair diagnose them. Like I said, these are complicated to diagnose.

For reference, it took me at least a year of fairly constant research (bc I have mental health as a special interest, I was researching something about ASPD or its differential diagnoses for at least a couple hours per week at that time), probably longer, to feel secure self diagnosing with ASPD. While it doesn’t need to necessarily take that long, it does take some effort to understand a disorder like this.

Plain text below the cut:

Being armchair diagnosed, especially as a child, is not enough to know if you have ASPD. We’re perfectly cool with self-diagnosis here, but it needs to be well researched. One thing you’ll find in the process of that research is why that “as a child” is a problem. ASPD cannot be diagnosed as a child for a reason: because under the age of 18 the traits are not able to be differentiated between normal stressed teenage behavior and in children younger than that, there is a high potential they will not go on to develop ASPD despite having traits of it.

There is quite a high threshold of things that need to go awry in neurological development for someone to end up with a trauma based personality disorder. ASPD in particular comes with a strong potential to avoid the traits becoming the PD if a child or honestly even a teenager is introduced to the support system they need and given reason to trust it.

And even as an adult, you can have some traits without having the disorder. I would definitely do some research, starting with but not exclusively reading the current DSM (DSM V-TR) entry on ASPD, and not just what’s posted in my bio, that’s the criteria but none of the important surrounding information in the ASPD section. That’ll go over a lot of info, and from there you wanna go through both scholarly stuff (articles & research papers - many of which will be stigmatized but it’s important to read because somewhere in there they hide some good info), and anecdotal stuff like this blog but not just this blog. Take in as much information as you can, learn about what it is and what it isn’t, and especially learn about the things that are similar to ASPD but are not ASPD. There are other disorders that look similar, but have key differences.

I suggest all this because unlike some disorders that are either easy to self diagnose (panic disorder - the main thing you need to know is if you have panic attacks, and if you have panic attacks about the fear of having a panic attack) or at least much more straightforward than self diagnosing a personality disorder. PDs are in fact some of the most complicated disorders to categorize and diagnose - even professionally - because when something is affecting every facet of someone’s personality, it’s not going to be easy to figure out what’s a symptom vs what’s situational. They usually require a long rapport with the diagnosing professional because they have to be persistent and consistent across time and situations. That means that it’s not something you can look into quickly and decide, you’ll need to keep watching for the symptoms once you know them and see if you are responding that way across the board or if something is triggering that response in only certain situations.

I can’t stop you from using that term, but I can say that being armchair diagnosed as a child is not a good way to figure out if you have something as complicated as a personality disorder. Honestly, a big reason that I say to people that they need to look at other anecdotal sources from other places too is because someone I’m very close with who has known me for over 10 years at this point and lives with me has BPD and thought I did too, like was 100% certain. In fact they directly thought I had the hyper-empathy of BPD - and so did my ex who knew me for much less time but also has BPD. Even having the disorder yourself and knowing someone for a long time doesn’t mean you can accurately armchair diagnose them. Like I said, these are complicated to diagnose.

For reference, it took me at least a year of fairly constant research (bc I have mental health as a special interest, I was researching something about ASPD or its differential diagnoses for at least a couple hours per week at that time), probably longer, to feel secure self diagnosing with ASPD. While it doesn’t need to necessarily take that long, it does take some effort to understand a disorder like this.