#at least in my head he is in cannon is complicated

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Batman: Crime is abnormaly quiet today, one more round and we should go home, chum.

Robin (Jason): A-Okay. I may even have time to read a bit before going to bed.

Batman: I'll think about it.

Robin: We could go to Bat Burguer! Di-Nightwing said they have an amazing chocolate milkshake.

Batman: I don't know, Robin...

Robin: I'm sure they have banana milkshake as well or something fruity.

Batman: Hm

Robin: I knew it!

Batman: Hm??

Robin: You are a fruit bat.

Batman: what?

Robin: I was reading a book about animals and they say that of the 1200 known species of bats only three are vampire bats. You are too normal to be a vampire bat. Also vampire bats are smaller and you are very big and vampire bats move solo and while you like to prented to be moody and lonley you have me, Agent A, Batgirl and Nightwing and that just in Gotham. So you are a fruit bat. And you love fruity things.

Batman: *smilling* I suppose.

Robin: And that means we are going to drink the milkshakes because you can't refuse fruit things!

Batman: Because I'm a fruit bat.

Robin: Yeah!!

----- [somewhere in the future] ----

Robin (Damain): I'm the son of Batman, I'll drink your blood, Hood.

Red Hood: Nah, B's totally a fruit bat and as the "blood son" that just means you like banana milkshake, sorry demon brat.

Batman: *in the background, accidentaly listens* *happy hm*

[aphroditelovesu]

Hi I have concept questions rate the yandere Greek gods, and who is most likely out of them with sexually assault or rape reader any gender I don’t know it came in my mind after I found out that Ares has never raped a women or man in my opinion that is a really shocking thing coming from the god of war I mean when comes to gods it’s a pretty good standard because I have read about so many sexual assaults in Greek mythology. for example obviously, Zeus is most likely going to force himself on reader he has done it many times and then the other one is Poseidon he did it with medusa if I remember correctly, so he is most likely to do it, and he has done it with other people and then Eros I don’t know why I just think he would do it and Apollo would do it and I actually thought Ares would would also sexually assault reader, but after finding out that he never did with anyone I don’t he would force himself on reader since he has never done it in Cannon fun fact, one of the sons of Poseidon raped his daughter and when Ares found out, he was furious and killed Poseidon son. Hades, this is another god I think he would not force himself on reader. But I’m not sure about Dionysus maybe he would and Hephaestus is another god who would force himself because he did it with Athena if I remember correctly. Aphrodite, maybe you would do it too. Hermes is another god I think he would do it too. What do you think can you Frank them from? Who is most likely to do it to who is least likely to do it and never do it at all.

tw: talk about rape/sexual harassment.

I would say the same ones you mentioned above.

Zeus and this one doesn't even need explanations. Poseidon, depending on the version, is said to have raped Medusa, but this is the Roman version and not the Greek, so it depends on which myth you prefer, but I think he would be able to force himself on the Reader.

Apollo would do it if he was rejected by his beloved, and he wouldn't even think he was doing anything wrong. Eros would also force himself on his darling if he was rejected in a very cruel way, then he would force them to be his.

Although there are no records of Ares forcing himself on anyone, as we are doing a headcanon and I don't work with canon but with the voices in my head, I would say that he could force himself on the Reader. And he wouldn't even need much for that, it can easily be motivated by jealousy, pure lust or just because he wants to mark the Reader as his.

Hephaestus... It's complicated, the reason he tried to abuse Athena is because of Poseidon, in a way. Poseidon became jealous of the closeness of Athena and Hephaestus and incited the god of forging to make unwanted advances on the goddess of wisdom, thinking that she liked him. He never actually raped her, it was more like harassment, but he came on her thighs and a child was born from that. Bizarre? Yes. Would he abuse his S/O? Look, it depends. I think that if Hephaestus was really consumed by obsession, by jealousy, he could force himself on his darling.

Hades would never force himself sexually on his darling. He can kidnap them (and he will), he can lock them up but he will never do anything against their will, sexually speaking. He doesn't want to be like his brothers and loathes it, so he would never touch the Reader without their consent.

Dionysus would do it too. He is delusional enough and the reason he would abuse his darling could be motivated by how delusional he is. The god would be so delusional that he wouldn't even realize that the Reader doesn't want to sleep with them.

Hermes would only do so if he wanted to dismantle power over his S/O. Like, he did that to them because he can, because they are his and that means he can take them wherever he wants and whenever he wants. A form of control and psychological torture, in a way.

I think Aphrodite would be the only one of the goddesses to abuse her darling, but for her, she would not be committing abuse but rather showing how much she loves them. And for her, the goddess of love, also the patron saint of prostitutes, what better way than to have sex with her darling? Even if it's not consensual.

[skyeslittlecorner]

Can I request some scenarios between Mc and the kings? Like how MC is amused by the king's powers and they let MC play with it.

Yeah like play with Satan's weapons and be bitten by him, Mammon's golden hand and the ability to build buildings, Leviathan's monsters and ropes, Beelzebub... 🤷‍♀️ Not sure if playing with the clones or flies better 🫢 (it's just my thoughts, you can write the things that easier for you to write ofc :3)

As a descendant of Solomon, we have access to the power of kings (chapter 4 for example). I wonder how much fun they will have when we use these powers~

Satan's power isn't just about creating weapons. He can create anything from scythes to diamonds. It also works much better if you bite the one who loves you the most. At this point, the entire Gehenna will lie down at your feet, offering you their wrists, necks, or - nothing else, because even by offering the neck, Satan will kick their asses so much that they will fly for a week. He himself is at your service. He will be amused, wiping the blood dripping from your chin, and watching the destruction you bring in his name.

Mammon will offer you private lessons. Making fists is fun, but when you try something more complicated, you end up with very poor modern art sculptures. You need to have at least the basics of sculpture and architecture so that what you have in your head translates into reality. The wasteland where you practice will become an art gallery in the future, and the little demons will have to interpret what you meant. Of course, some of them are Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon.

Beelzebub rather wants you to play with his teleportation than his clones. But okay, no problem, he can clone himself enough times for you to be a couple and a hundredfold. Of course, you can't be with him and the other demons like this. After all, stealing your lover is the ultimate crime, and you are still you. As for the insects, Beel is curious which of you they will listen to more. He will order them to submit completely to you so that you can have fun. He will show you the most beautiful of them, such as moths and butterflies, but also the tastiest... at least in his opinion.

Leviathan. Phew. Dear. There are *so many* possibilities here. Ropes, tentacles and a masochist, what more could you want? His monsters are not very cooperative, at least at first, which is why you will hear a few comments about your incompetence. Then you can shove all these words down his throat when, with a wave of your finger, you tie him up like a puppet and tell your tentacles to play with his own little tentacle. Or maybe you will play with them yourself and make him watch, enjoying his jealousy and fury… there are many options.

[vampiriccreature]

Dmc 3 Dantes design is AMAZING in a storytelling aspect but does NOT work outside of dmc3 AND I’M SICK OF SEEING IT USED IN CROSSOVER MEDIAS !!!!!!

Long ass yap under cut

Dante has always been one for over the top outfits and designs. In the dmc1 novel one of the first sentences is talking about how Dante is flamboyant. At the end of dmc3 we see he has his dmc1 outfit on with all the layers and vest and everything. NOT shirtless.

At the start of dmc3 bro was getting out of the shower, like you hear the water and the shower faucet. You see the water droplets and steam coming off of Dante. And when he answers the phone he says the shop isn’t open yet. Dude was having a lazy day.

Dante did not have time to put on a shirt, he wasn’t planning on going out anywhere or doing anything, he was just eating pizza and chilling. I see SO MANY people (including cannon media like the dmc3 manga) just assume he regularly does not wear a shirt…. like he does! he just didn’t have time to put one on before Arkhams bitchass showed up with his demons.

Don’t even get me started on those pants…. light brown has never been a part of Dante’s color scheme so light brown pants definitely seem weird right? Also he had no belt despite clearly needing one.

Like look at this render, you can see how far his hip is from his pants. He probably just threw on some old pair without thinking about it. And with no belt too, every other version of Dante has at LEAST one belt. So seeing Dante in light brown pants, alone with no belt is definitely strange.

Yet it WORKS SO WELL for the overall design in 3. Reducing the amount of black in his color scheme to better focus on the red and establish him as a much lighter character compared to Vergil ties in perfectly with the dark reflection trope Vergil and Dante play into.

The most iconic thing about Dantes design has always been that red coat. No argument there. So taking away the rest of Dantes more extravagant parts of his design to better focus on the coat is perfect especially for dmc3. Another thing that ties back into the dark reflection trope of Dantes and Vergil is that cutting down on Dantes design makes Vergil and Dantes personalities reflect in their designs so much more. Vergil is very well kept, with a much more complicated outfit and slicked back hair. So Dante being the opposite of that with a lack of shirt, pants that don’t match, no belt, etc. (while still being flamboyant with that red coat) shows their differences in maturity.

You look at this guy and you KNOW he put so much time and effort into his look. He exudes elegance and effort. Meanwhile Dante’s just thrown on a coat and called it a day.

My point is. This design is great for the storytelling aspect of dmc3 as well as the symbolism and metaphors in dmc3. However, we know Dante doesn’t usually dress like this. He wears shirts. So I get personally annoyed when I see Dante portrayed as that one dude who never wears a shirt. I head cannon that around the shop when he has nothing planned he won’t wear a shirt (saves money on the water bill cuz less laundry) but if he plans to go out or have the shop open or whatever, he’s putting on the full fit. Shirt, belt, coat, and plenty of other accessories.

Also here’s the second paragraph from the dmc1 novel cuz I just love how he’s described not only as flamboyant but also adorned with a lot of jewelry:

[queenshelby]

Our Little Secret (Part Four)

Pairing: Dark! Cillian Murphy x Virgin! Reader

Warning: Smut, Age-Gap, Daddy Issues

Notes: This will not be a love story. It will be dark, twisted and kinky. Cillian is portrayed as totally off cannon.

About fifteen minutes later, you reached the elegant hotel restaurant and bar on the top floor of the Four Seasons.

The dimly lit room was adorned with an elegant floral arrangement, candles creating a romantic ambience.

Cillian had ordered some wine for you and the conversation flowed easily, filling the silence with tales of past adventures and shared desires and you could not help but bring up his wife again, knowing very well that you may be overstepping a line. 

"How long have you been married for?" you asked casually, trying to gauge the depth of his unhappiness. Cillian sighed heavily, a look of resignation crossing his face.

"Almost eight years now," he replied, his voice devoid of emotion. "It started as a marriage of convenience when she fell pregnant, but it turned into something more." He took a sip of his wine, his eyes avoiding yours as he spoke. "But then, years later, we've grown apart, both personally and sexually." He hesitated for a moment, searching for the right words.

"It's complicated," he finally admitted, his voice rough with emotion before seeking to change the topic.

"So what about you? Why don't you have a boyfriend?" Cillian inquired curiously, leaning closer to you across the table. His gaze roamed your face, seemingly seeking answers to questions unspoken. You couldn't help but notice the way his eyes lingered on your lips, an unmistakable desire evident in them.

"Well, you know, life has just been busy for me," you tried to explain lightly, hoping to deflect attention away from your lack of romantic experiences.

"And you haven't found anyone who interests you?" Cillian pressed further, his voice laced with concern.

"No. Most of the guys I am interested in are much older than me and some are married," you said, blushing, seeing that Cillian too was more than twice your age.

"I can see a common theme here," Cillian chuckled before running his fingers over your hand suggestively. 

"And why would that be?" you questioned, teasing him. 

"Well, I am older, and I am married," Cillian smiled before pointing out something quite substantial. "I suppose you just wanted someone experienced, huh? Or maybe you just enjoy indulging in illicit affairs which, can be quite dangerous as you know," he answered, his eyes twinkling with humour. 

"Oh, I wouldn't say it's necessarily dangerous, just a bit naughty," you giggled, feeling your cheeks heat up under his gaze. 

"True, it might not be inherently dangerous," Cillian conceded, his fingers playing with your wrist seductively. "But, sometimes these secret rendezvous can lead to situations you didn't intend or expect," Cillian pointed out, reaching for another glass of wine. 

"Have you ever gotten caught cheating?" you asked, knowing very well that you were not the only one Cillian had ever been involved with outside his marriage. There were rumors in the paper, circulating with respect to at least two actresses as well as his assistant, Siobhan. 

"Only once," Cillian confessed, a grimace crossing his face. "It wasn't pretty. My wife found us together in a hotel room in London," Cillian pointed out, and your chin dropped.

"That must have been quite awkward," you acknowledged, taking another sip of your drink.

"Extremely so," Cillian agreed, running his finger around the rim of his wine glass.

"Who was it with?" you wanted to know, still curious about the details of his infidelity. Cillian shrugged, a mixture of discomfort and pride evident on his face.

"She was my assistant," he explained. He shook his head slightly, as if to dispel memories he wished he could forget.

"We slept with each other for a few months and, to be honest, I'm not entirely sure why I did it," he confessed, his expression turning serious. "I guess I was blinded by the thrill of doing something forbidden, even though I knew deep down that it would ultimately destroy my marriage," he explained and, as the conversation continued, you found yourself drawn to Cillian's dark and mysterious persona.

"Isn't that what you are doing now? With your brother's stepdaughter out of all people?" you chuckled, feeling the alcohol loosen your tongue. "I mean, I guess we both share a twisted sense of morality," you continued, raising your glass playfully.

"Maybe," Cillian smirked, his eyes glinting with mischief. "I suppose I just no longer care about my marriage and being an actor makes cheating quite easy," he mused, running his fingers idly along your thigh. Your heart raced, sensing the raw power beneath his seemingly gentle exterior.

Despite his obvious flaws, there was an undeniable allure about him that made you feel like you were standing on the edge of a precipice – eager to plunge into the unknown.

"Now tell me, why me? I am only nineteen, I am your step-niece and I have absolutely no experience when it comes to sex," you admitted, feeling a little self-conscious about your lack of knowledge and inexperience.

"Your innocence intrigued me. It is not something I have encountered before, and the fact that you are my step-niece doesn't bother me. We only just met," Cillian said gently, running his finger along your thigh still.

"I think you are beautiful," he told you softly, staring into your eyes with such intensity that it sent shivers down your spine. You felt your heart race, sensing the raw power beneath his seemingly gentle exterior.

"Do you like teaching me and training me new things?" you teased and Cillian nodded playfully, his eyes dancing with mischief.

"Yes, I like teaching you, and I like how you respond to me when I touch you and show you things," he continued, his fingers tracing your skin.

"You make me feel young again," he whispered huskily, leaning in close enough to taste the sweetness of your lips.

You couldn't help but feel a sudden surge of confidence at his words, finding solace in the fact that you were making him feel younger and more alive. Perhaps this relationship, despite its inauspicious beginnings, was giving you both the thrill you sought, offering a mutual escape from the monotony of your respective lives.

"Should we go back to the room?" Cillian then asked,

his voice a low rumble in your ear. You couldn't help but agree, as your body seemed to hum with a familiar, yet unfulfilled energy.

Without a word, you stood up and grabbed your coat, leaving a generous tip for the waiter before walking out of the restaurant with Cillian. 

***

When you arrived back at the hotel room an hour later and with the buttplug still inside of you, your mind was flooded with the idea of the night ahead. The sexual tension between you two was palpable and as you prepared for another round of passionate lovemaking, you couldn't help but imagine all the ways Cillian would tease and torture you tonight.

In the room, Cillian removed his jacket and undid his shirt, revealing his freckled torso. The sight sent a wave of desire coursing through your veins, heightening your arousal.

"I am so ready to fuck you again," Cillian told you assertively, his dominant tone causing a mix of fear and excitement within you. With practised ease, he moved his body against yours, expertly positioning you both on the bed.

As you lay side by side, Cillian slowly began exploring your body with his hands, tracing the outline of your breasts and circling your nipples, making you squirm with anticipation. He then gently pulled you onto his lap, allowing you to straddle him. Your hips met his with a gentle swaying motion, eliciting moans from both of you.

Cillian reached between your legs, finding the base of the butt plug and gently pressing his thumb against it, triggering a surge of sensation through your entire body. Your breath caught in your throat, and your entire being trembled with anticipation.

"What do you do with the other women, in bed?" you dared to ask, your curiosity piqued. Cillian smirked slightly, a knowing look in his eyes.

"It depends on who they are," he responded evasively. "Some want it rough, others prefer something sweet and tender." Cillian lowered his head, brushing his lips against yours. Your body tensed with anticipation as you felt his warm breath on your face. "But, ultimately, what they all have in common is that they want to please me," he whispered hoarsely, his voice filled with confidence.

You nodded silently, understanding his ego. He placed his hands on either side of your face, his fingers gently massaging your temples.

"Do you trust me?" he whispered intimately, his eyes searching yours intensely. Your heart raced at the prospect of submitting completely to his will. "Yes," you whispered back, unable to hide the tremble in your voice.

With that, Cillian leaned in, kissing you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth hungrily. You moaned into his mouth, driven by the raw passion emanating from him.

"Good," Cillian murmured approvingly, his hands gripping your waist firmly. His thumb traced over your ass, sending a delicious shiver through your core. "Because I can't wait to see how far we can take this," he whispered, his breath hot against your ear. "I love it when a woman gives herself fully to me," he confided in a low voice, causing a blush to rise on your cheeks.

Cillian released you from his grasp, sliding his hands up your thighs to caress your hips and the small of your back.

"I give myself to you, Cillian. Do with me what you want," you whispered, your voice trembling with anticipation. Hearing those words sent a surge of power coursing through Cillian's veins. He felt like he held the reins of an untamed stallion, one he was determined to break and tame.

"Good girl," he whispered, gently guiding your hands to his own hard cock.

Your heart skipped a beat as you tentatively wrapped your fingers around his length, feeling its heat and size.

Cillian groaned softly, his gaze fixed on you as you explored him.

"Look at me," he commanded, his voice a low rumble. You met his eyes, finding them filled with hunger and lust.

Cillian's fingers roamed your body, lightly touching your skin as if committing every inch to memory before ordering you get on to the bed.

"I want you on all fours," he instructed firmly, making you feel even more submissive under his control.

As you moved into position, your skin prickled with anticipation, your breathing growing shallow.

With you now on all fours, Cillian stood behind you, gently guiding your hips with his hands. The weight of his body pressed against your back, making you feel both safe and vulnerable at the same time. His hands roamed over your body, stopping momentarily to stroke your buttocks before moving on.

"That buttplug suits your ass," he growled appreciatively, causing your body to shudder involuntarily.

"Now, do you think you can take the next size up?" he whispered, his voice husky with desire.

His fingers trailed across your back, causing your flesh to quiver with anticipation. 

"Another buttplug?" you queried with nervousness, causing Cillian to smirk.

"Yes. This one is wider and will stretch you even further," Cillian told you. "Trust me, it won't hurt much, and you'll be glad you did it afterwards," he said confidently, giving you the impression that he had done this many times before. You hesitated, unsure if you could really allow him to insert yet another object into your rear end. Cillian saw your reluctance and decided to be more persuasive. He gently grabbed your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze.

"I want you to trust me," he growled, his eyes full of authority. Your pulse quickened at the thought of submitting entirely to his whims.

"Okay," you answered, your voice barely audible.

Cillian smiled confidently, reaching for the bag containing various sex toys. He picked out a new buttplug – slightly larger than the first one. His hand reached behind you and he pulled out the first plug which was now completly covered in his cum.

As he discarded it, you gasped at the sudden feeling of openness in your backside. Cillian grinned at your reaction, and quickly inserted the new, wider plug. He worked it into your tight hole slowly, gauging your response as he went. Your breath hitched at the invasion, but you fought the urge to squirm away from the foreign object. It took some force, but eventually the plug was securely lodged inside you.

The sense of fullness sent shivers down your spine.

With the added size of the buttplug, your muscles clenched around it, making you gasp at the sensation. Cillian noticed your discomfort and reassured you that it would feel better soon. He stepped closer, reaching for your breast with one hand, and your chin with the other.

"I promise you'll enjoy this," he whispered gently, his eyes boring into yours. "Just relax and let go," he coaxed, encouraging you to submit entirely to his desires.

As he held you in place, Cillian began exploring your wetness with his fingers, gently probing your opening. He took in the sounds of your breathing, the way your body trembled under his touch, and your increasing arousal. His fingers circled your entrance, getting it wetter and more inviting for his erection.

Soon, you heard the zipper of his jeans being lowered. His cock sprang free, already erect and eager.

"This might hurt a little, but I know that you will be a good girl for me and take it," Cillian said before he knelt behind you, between your legs, as he positioned himself at your entrance. With one powerful thrust, he penetrated you deeply, making you gasp at the intensity of the sensation.

Between the buttplug stretching your anus and his cock stretching your pussy, you felt a strange mix of pain and pleasure coursing through your body.

"You're so tight," Cillian whispered, his voice hoarse with desire. "Just right for my cock." His hands reached for your hips, guiding you deeper onto his cock with each thrust.

He began a steady rhythm, pushing deep into you with each plunge, then retreating just enough to let you catch your breath before pulling you back into him again.

The sound of flesh slapping against flesh echoed throughout the room, punctuated by your gasps and moans.

"I love fucking you raw and I can't wait to fill your pussy with my cum," Cillian panted, his face etched with passion. The intensity of his lustful gaze sent a shiver down your spine.

You couldn't help but match his energy, your hands gripping the sheets tightly as your hips bucked instinctively with each powerful thrust.

"Take my cock. That's it," Cillian demanded harshly, causing you to gasp and obey. 

The sensation of being thoroughly claimed and owned sent waves of arousal coursing through your body.

Cillian's rough hands gripped your hips tightly, pulling you deeper onto his cock with each thrust. His raw, animalistic nature only heightened the experience, leaving you craving more of his dominant presence.

You cried out in ecstasy as Cillian continued to pound into you, his fingers digging into your hips with each powerful stroke. The sound of your moans filling the room fueled his lust further, as he took his cock out, only to plunge back into you once more.

"Such a good girl," he growled, pushing his cock deeper inside you.

Your hands clutched at his shoulders, holding onto him as he pounded into you, his hips thrusting wildly.

"Fuck, yes!" you screamed, matching his fervor.

Your orgasm built, an intense wave of pleasure coursing through your body, mirroring his own.

"Cum with me," Cillian ordered roughly, his voice hoarse with desire as your movements became frantic, your passionate frenzy reaching its peak.

Cillian's rough hands gripped your hips tightly, pushing you down on his cock with each thrust. His raw, animalistic nature only heightened the experience, leaving you craving more of his dominant presence.

The room was filled with the rhythmic sounds of flesh colliding together, accompanied by your moans and cries of ecstasy. Cillian's possessive gaze left no doubt about his dominance over you. With each thrust, you felt yourself surrendering completely to his lustful desires.

"You will be leaking my cum all night long, fuck..." Cillian growled, driving into you with a renewed ferocity. His hands gripped your hips tightly, keeping you in place as he took you to the edge.

You reached your peak with him, crying out in ecstasy as your body shook with orgasmic pleasure.

Cillian followed close behind, his slender frame tensing as he allowed himself to succumb to the release. His powerful orgasm pulsed through him, his eyes meeting yours as he let out a feral groan.

He filled you with his seed and you felt it spurt, warm and thick, deep inside you. 

"Take it out," you then told him, referring to the buttplug which was still embedded within you. "I need it removed."

Cillian nodded, understanding that your body needed relief after such an intense encounter. He gently caressed your cheek with the back of his hand, kissing your forehead softly.

"You did well," he murmured, taking out the buttplug. Your sphincter contracted reflexively around the cold object, making you wince as it slipped out of you.

"And maybe in a few days, I can put my cock into your tight hole instead," Cillian smirked, leaning down to press a tender kiss on your forehead. 

You blushed, both embarrassed and flattered by his words. "That will hurt though, won't it?" you asked while Cillian's fingers stroked your hair gently, his lips brushing against your earlobe.

He spoke softly, his voice almost a whisper. "It will, but remember, I want you to trust me." He nibbled at your neck lightly, sending shivers down your spine.

You nodded, trying to hide your growing excitement beneath the covers. "I do," you whispered back, your heart racing in anticipation.

"Good," Cillian smiled before getting up from the bed and walking towards the spa bath, which was conveniently located on the large balcony of the hotel room.

He invited you to join him there. He poured a bottle of champagne into two glasses, then popped the cork, letting it fly high into the air. As the foam settled back into the glass, Cillian handed you one and raised his own.

"To more sexy encounters to come" he toasted, his eyes sparkling with mischief. You hesitated, unsure if you were ready to commit to something like this. However, curiosity got the best of you, and you raised your glass as well.

"To us," you said, your voice wavering slightly. You took a sip of the champagne, feeling the effervescent liquid dance across your tongue. The bubbles tickled your throat, sending shivers down your spine.

Cillian smiled, pleased with your willingness to engage in this illicit adventure. He lifted his glass, clinking it against yours. "Cheers," he replied, his deep voice rumbling seductively.

"Let's make sure we have more meetings like this," he teased, running his fingers along your exposed arm. The sensation sent shivers down your spine, and you could feel your nipples hardening immediately again. 

Without saying anything, you both climbed into the warm water, embracing each other, their bodies pressed against each other. Cillian's hand wandered up your thigh, gently stroking the inside, causing your knee to jerk involuntarily.

"You taste so sweet," he breathed, his mouth finding yours once more.

Your tongues danced with each other, seeking dominance, yet both giving way to the others lead. You kissed passionately, hands roaming restlessly over each other's bodies. 

Cillian's fingers drifted to your breast, pinching the nipple gently before teasing it with his tongue. Your nipples hardened, poking through your clothes, drawing his attention.

Cillian gently bit down on one, causing you to squirm in delight. He released it, leaving a faint red mark on your pale skin. "You turn me on so much," he whispered, his hand cupping your breast.

"You do too, Cillian. Although I am not sure how much more I can take without being intensely sore tomorrow," you confessed, your body still quivering from the previous encounters. 

Cillian chuckled softly, taking another sip of his champagne before replying, "Oh, trust me, you'll be fine. Besides, I have some things planned to make sure you're nice and relaxed before I fuck you again," Cillian said as he moved closer to you, pressing his hardened member against your leg, making you shudder in anticipation.

As the hot water bubbled around them, you held onto Cillian, enjoying the intimacy shared between the two of you. The sensuality of the moment enveloped you, and you could feel the heat radiating off Cillian's body as it touched yours.

The night continued like this, filled with passionate and kinky sex until, at around 3 o'clock, you decided to get some sleep.

You both knew you had school the next day, and you did not want to show up exhausted.

***

Eventually, the morning sun filtered through the window as you rose from the comfortable hotel bed, your body aching in the most delicious ways. You glanced over at Cillian, who lay beside you, his tousled hair framing his face. He stretched lazily, his freckled shoulders and arms flexing as he yawned.

You stepped into the bathroom to freshen up. You had to make your way to school

soon, and there was no time to waste. While brushing your teeth, you looked at yourself in the mirror, marvelling at how much the past week had changed you. Your eyes seemed darker, more mysterious, with shadows cast from the early morning sunlight streaming through the window.

In the midst of your thoughts, you heard Cillian enter the bathroom. He stood behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Morning," he whispered softly in your ear, nuzzling your neck gently.

"Do you have everything you need? Your bag, keys, wallet?" he asked, seeing that you were almost ready for school, before giving you yet another of many hickeys, all of which were covering your neck. 

You nodded, reaching into your backpack again to retrieve them. 

Cillian pulled you closer, his arms tightening around you. "Alright, then." He gave you a small peck on the lips, a gentle gesture of affection. 

"This was fun," he said with a grin, running his hand down your back. 

You nodded, reluctantly. "It was, but I better get going. I am already late," you told him before asking when you could see him again.

 "How about this Saturday if I can get away from Danielle?" he suggested and you considered his proposal, knowing that Saturday would be your day off from school.

"Okay, sounds good," you agreed, excitement building within you. "Where should we meet?" you wanted to know.

"Here. I will book a room again, but I won't be able to stay overnight," he told you with a smile, his dimples showing through. "We can just use it for our afternoon rendezvous."

You smiled back, feeling excited about the prospect of continuing this passionate affair. "That sounds great, Cillian."

"Well, then, see you on Saturday." He leaned in to give you a final kiss on the lips, lingering just long enough to leave you wanting more.

One hour later….

An hour later, and with only ten minutes to spare, you arrived at school and looked at your schedule.

Due to the renovations on site, you still had to find your classroom for today and, luckily for you, it was on the first floor.

"Good Morning Y/N," Emma smiled as she saw you walking into class, clearly happy to see you.

"Morning, Emma," you replied cheerfully, trying to ignore the lingering effect of the night before as the soreness of your encounter with Cillian lingered in your core and so did his seed.

Emma looked at you closely, a curious expression crossing her face. "So, how was your night, with your secret lover?" she then asked, still not knowing who the man was who you were seeing.

She had noticed your dishevelled appearance and the smell of sex on you, but you did not want to reveal too many details about your encounter.

"It was great. I didn't get much sleep, though," you replied casually, trying to downplay the intensity of the previous night.

"Well, I guess you'll have plenty of opportunities to catch up on your sleep later," Emma teased, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Why do you say that?" you asked, slightly confused by her comment.

"Well, the art class have been cancelled, so we finish early today," Emma continued, her tone light-hearted.

"Good, I am glad," you smiled before Emma leaned in and asked you for particulars.

"Now tell me, what did you do with your married man? I want specifics," Emma pressed, her curiosity piqued. You hesitated momentarily, weighing whether to divulge the details of your secret rendezvous. Ultimately, you decided to share some highlights while leaving out the explicit details.

"We stayed at the Four Seasons. We had a lovely meal, and we had lots of sex. He bought some toys, which was fun, and there was this big jacuzzi overlooking Dublin," you said, carefully choosing your words to give her a taste of the events without going into graphic detail.

"What kind of toys?" Emma giggled; her curiosity piqued.

"Toys that don't go where you would expect them to go," you replied, wanting to keep things vague.

“Anal toys?” Emma wanted to know and you quietened her quickly.

“Yes. Shh,” you whispered before cutting her off.

"Well, if you ever want to talk about it in more detail, just let me know," Emma offered, her eyes twinkling with excitement. "Maybe sometime, after I am drunk enough" you agreed, knowing that it would be better to not delve into the explicit details of your experience with Cillian, but she wouldn't let off. After all, she had covered for you, giving you an alibi, and now she wanted to know more.

“I need you to tell me more. I want to know everything,” she thus said but you shook your head.

“Another day, when we are not at school, I will give you specifics, alright?” you said and Emma agreed to your proposal.

"Anyway, for now, let's change the subject," you then suggested, eager to discuss something less salacious. "How are your driving lessons going for you?" you asked, causing Emma to sigh.

"Well, my dad thinks he's teaching me how to drive but mostly I end up driving him crazy," she laughed, her eyes dancing with mischief. "No, he's really helping me. I appreciate it," she said, appreciating her father's efforts to teach her.

"That's nice" you commented just as a girl named Lindsay approached you from behind, tapping you on the shoulder.

"Hi Y/N! How's it going?" she greeted, her smile bright and genuine. She was a tall, slender girl with wavy brown hair and striking green eyes. "Oh, hi Lindsay," you replied, returning her smile warmly. "Just talking with Emma."

Lindsay nodded, glancing at Emma briefly before turning back to you. "So, my sister saw you at the Four Seasons last night, with a rather famous and rather handsome actor," she said, causing your heart to race. "Is that true?" she asked, her eyes boring into yours.

"Yes, it's true, I guess" you answered honestly, not wanting to lie about it. "Did she say anything else?" you asked, hoping to get more information from Lindsay.

"Only that you two seemed very close," Lindsay replied, her eyes holding a mix of jealousy and curiosity. 

"A famous actor?" Emma asked, her eyebrows raised in surprise. "Oh, really? And what was his name?" she pressed while you tried hard to come up with an excuse for your secret interactions with Cillian.

"Cillian Murphy," Lindsay confirmed, drawing out his name with a mixture of admiration and envy, causing Emma's chin to drop.

"The ‘Cillian Murphy’?" she repeated, causing Lindsay to nod, waiting for an explanation.

"Cillian is my step-father's brother. We ran into each other at the hotel last night and quickly grabbed a bite to eat. That's all. He was just being nice, paying for my meal" you lied to Lindsay whereas Emma knew that Cillian must have been the married man you were sleeping with.

“Cillian Murphy is your uncle?” Lindsay asked, shocked and confused. “Shut the fuck up. Can you introduce me?” she then wanted to know and you quickly shook your head.

“Firstly, he is not my uncle. He is my step-father’s brother. And secondly, he is married to Danielle Murray. She too is a famous actress,” you explained, causing Emma to furrow her eyebrows.

Her mind reeled with thoughts and questions, but she decided to hold them off for now. "That's interesting," she commented nonchalantly, pretending she wasn't shocked before, eventually, pulling you aside to speak with you in private.

***

"You are sleeping with Cillian Murphy?" Emma exclaimed, her eyes wide with disbelief. “This is fucking insane, you know!”  Emma exclaimed, her eyes wide with shock.

"I know. It just happened one night, at our house," you replied, shrugging casually, trying to play it cool.

“At your house?” Emma asked, not having known the specific of your first encounter.

“Yes. He stayed over after a fight with his wife and one thing let to another,” you explained cautiously and her reaction to this revelation was fuelled with both, amusement and concern.

“So you just let him pop your cherry huh?” she laughed, recalling you telling her that, several weeks ago, Cillian came over for the first time and you had been crushing on him ever since.

“I can’t say I blame you. I rewatched Peaky Blinders last week and he is rather fine, even for his age,” Emma told you before continuing on with a lecture. "

"But he is basically family, and you have to be careful. What is if the press gets wind of this? Or his wife? His kids?" Emma worried, her brows furrowing in concern.

"They won't. I will be careful, okay?" you told her just as the school bell rang.

Meanwhile, at Cillian’s house…

Danielle stormed through the door of their luxurious Dublin home, her eyes ablaze with anger. Her hands shook as she clenched and unclenched them as she waited to confront Cillian in respect to his whereabouts.

Cillian stood in the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water. He paused when he heard the footsteps approaching and turned around slowly, anticipating his wife's reaction.

"Where have you been?" Danielle demanded, her voice shrill and accusatory.

"In London, for work," he lied, furrowing his eyebrows and putting on the perfect act. "You knew that," he fired back with annoyance.

"Bullshit. I checked your schedule. You never even left the country," Danielle accused, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

"It was an interview that came up last minute, Danielle. You need to relax," countered calmly, his voice neutral, yet carrying a slight undertone of irritation.

"Relax? Really?" scoffed Danielle, her fury growing stronger. "And how should I relax knowing that you're cheating on me?"

"Calm down, Danielle," Cillian instructed, trying to placate her. "I haven't cheated on you," Cillian tried to claim but Danielle shook her head.

"No? Then the fact that you paid 678 Euro for a room at the Four Seasons is just a coincidence?" Danielle probed, her suspicion heightened.

"Absolutely," Cillian responded indignantly, raising his eyebrows. "I booked a room, for a friend who stayed there with his wife," he added, feigning ignorance.

"And who may that be?" Danielle snapped, her voice trembling with rage. 

The air was thick with tension, and Cillian felt his pulse quicken.

"What does it matter?" he asked under his breath, rubbing his forehead as he watched his wife fume with anger. He knew that he needed to handle this situation carefully, but his conscience wasn't letting him sleep soundly. 

"Just tell me who she is Cillian. It wouldn't be the first time you cheated on me," Danielle continued, her voice shaking with frustration and betrayal.

"There is no one else, Danielle," Cillian lied again, knowing that it was pointless to confess at this stage. "Please trust me," he implored, trying to maintain eye contact despite the tension in the room.

"Trust you? You lie every time I ask you about your 'work trips'," Danielle spat, her voice filled with bitterness.

"Who is she?" she insisted, her voice trembling with uncontrollable emotion.

"Stop it, Danielle. Enough already," Cillian snapped, losing patience with her constant questions. 

"No, you stop it! Stop fucking cheating on me. You slept with someone in a hotel room while you were supposed to be home, with me," Danielle roared, angered and confused.

"I told you I am not fucking cheating," Cillian said, his tone cold and defensive.

"Okay. Fine. I give you the benefit of the doubt, but...," Danielle began to say before Cillian could find the strength to counter her.

"But, what Danielle?" he asked. "But, if you ever find out that I did cheat on you, then you would leave me and take Max with you?  Cillian barked, knowing very well that this would be the thread she was going to make next.

"He is not your son, Cillian!" Danielle reminded him, causing Cillian to shake his head.

"That's not the point, and you know that," he told her before walking away from the conversation. 

“Stop seeing her, Cillian, and I will forget about it for now,” Danielle told him more calmly now, but Cillian simply sighed.

“Alright,” he then said, nodding just as Max walked through the door, not having overheard the conversation.

“Hey, dad,” he said, greeting Cillian before asking him whether they could go to the movies on the weekend to watch the new Marvel movie.

Tag List Insert

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@heidimoreton @nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

@galxydefender @hunnibearrr @saint-ackerman @lunyyx @gentlemonsterjennie1 @ihavealotoffandomssorry @nadloves @lost-fantasy @nolucesn@mcavoy-girl @hjmalmed @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @blushykiss @tatumrileyslover @teawithsatanx @orijanko @rhaenyra4ever @xcinnamonmalfoyx @budugu @nadloves @kmc1989 @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie

[clovermarigold]

Smoke & Ice Head cannons and facts

Small facts and characteristics that are cannon to my fic, Smoke & Ice. Please note I do not claim any of these to be cannon to the MK franchise!

Don't worry I won't do any woobifying.

Also note after finishing this, I should have named this Angst angst and more angst

pt.2 pt.3

Calla has actually never been in a relationship because she always felt responsible for the Mangrove and like their parents/caretaker/sibling, even when they were around her age. (#oldest daughter vibes)

Bi han grew up with a different side of his father compared to his siblings. I head cannon that he probably learned his assholery from his father when he was younger. But he grew as a person as he had more kids.

Thats also why I think Bi han has both his evident hate and some internalized hate for Smoke. Because he's jealous of how soft and easy he went on him. (#oldest son vibes). This coldness and quiet resentment are also why he is TERRIBLE with children. He will seriously treat them like whole ass adults.

Calla: Go on. Talk to him

Bi han: ...Wanna beer?

Calla: NO!

Smoke on the other hand, is amazing with children. He didn't have a lot of interactions or experience with children, but that didn't stop him from being really good at it. Kids are really good at vibe checks, they can tell.

Smoke tends to hyper analyze and feel guilty after being around the children however, because he feels like he's projecting his memories of his sister onto them.

Smoke despite having MAJOR trauma has a habit of minimalizing it and brushing it off. Which infuriates Kuai Liang to no end.

Kuai Liang is the middle child that acts like the eldest. He got a glimpse to the kind of man their father was, since he's not that much younger than Bi han. But he was one of the first things to inspire their father to grow as a person.

Despite being the middle child, and the brother Bi han hates the least. It's usually Smoke who is the mediator between the two brothers.

The three brothers have vastly different relationships with their parents.

Bi han was an absolute mama's boy. He was always closer to his mom since she was the only person he would accept kindness, love, and even pity from. The day she died was when he truly became the Bi han we all know today. He had a terrible relationship with his father. Due to being put through grueling training when he was younger, as well and having the Lin Kuei's greatness instilled in his mind. Only to watch his father change and abandon this ideology as he aged. To him, any attack to his values is an attack on him.

Kuai Liang on the other hand unfortunately suffered from middle child syndrome. Often not being prioritized due to his mother's focus on Bi han, as well as his father's priority on training Bi han to lead, and later favoritism of Tomas. This neglect is what made him easily the most independent of bunch in their youth. Though this did change after the loss of their mother, which left Bi han to be the most independent and cold.

Smoke, however, is a more complicated matter. While he is undoubtably a daddy's boy. Due to his lack of a present birth father growing up and being taken in by him. His relationship with their mother is difficult. In no way does he dislike or have any problems with her. He just can't bring himself to truly see her as his mom. After watching the death of his true mother and sister, Tomas inherited a number of mental issues that the Lin Kuei never truly bothered to address. The loss of his twin sister made him incredibly clingy and reliant on his brothers, but the loss of his mother left him feeling guilty any time he tried to bond with his adoptive one.

Johhny cage has MAJOR daddy issues and minor mommy issues. Based on character interactions from both MK11 & MK1, we can deduce that he was an asshole. His dad switched between emotionally abusive and absent all together.

While he absolutely adores and loves his mom for being the parent who stayed and raised him, it didn't change the fact that she gave mostly tough love, being a cop and a single mother of two. (His brother who is said to be an asshole though we don't know the extent)

Movies were his main escape from his shitty home life and social life. I decided to keep his characteristics from Mortal Kombat Cage Match, being that he was bullied as a kid. Both by classmates and his brother. As a result, he absolutely loathes bullies, and is fully down to beat the shit out of any adult or minor that bullies any future kids of his, nephews, nieces, or just friend's.

When recreating the timeline, Liu Kang had to decide what to do with the children of Kronica and whether or not to include them in it.

I don't have a canon decision of Shinnok, since we won't be focusing on that in the story, and it'll probably be explained in future games. But Cetrion is a different story.

Cetrion was made to be a caretaker of the earth realm and its life. However, after falling in love with a mortal, was granted permission by Liu Kang to live among them as a mortal.

Their children would eventually become the dryad and subsequentially the Hamadryad, which is why they do not exist in any other previous timelines. It is also why Cetrion was able to become mortal without abandoning her duties. By creating a clan tasked with her previous role.

Anyways! Hope you enjoyed my "Head cannons". Have some tissues on your way out, I know I needed them.

Tag list

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@whore-of-many-hot-men

@cherryblossomly

[new-revenant]

A so Called Tamaranean | Part Three

Danny is in the Watchtower, and he finally gets some answers, with yet another answer to look for.

Also, NicktoonsUnite is technically cannon in this, but it is not a crossover with them because I don’t want to make this story too complicated.

Ao3

Tagging list(adding on from the list from last time, and there so many of you??<3):

@spectralstardustandphantomnights - @skulld3mort-1fan - @ballzfrog - @toomanyfandoms11 - @blueflipflops - @everest-nightshade - @terzatheunderscorerima - @thegatorsgoose - @mnemovoid - @ace-aro-as-shit - @pikakaistudios - @phoenixcatch7 - @alice-hazelwood - @idfk-man10 - @ballzfrog - @keimiwolf - @cankokingg - @dxrksong - @learning-to-fly-on-my-own - @chaoticmistake - @ectoplasm024 - @akikkobara - @nerdypaintbrush - @stargirl1331 - @treepainting - @that-awkward-fae-nerd - @kawaiikenna - @raspberry-muffin - @jaguarthecat - @busterkeel - @writer-extraodinaire - @amercurio - @gin2212 - @mj-arts-n-stuff - @wanderer-of-worlds - @sunflowershine03 - @manglethemingle - @stargazer-luna - @theauthorandtheartist - @crystalqueertea - @jotaroslooseeyebrowhair

☆★☆

Danny had no expectations for what the Watchtower would be like. He was far too tired to care anyhow. He’s been awake for what? 17 hours so far? He didn’t know, he can’t count. But he could very well see.

He was in space. There was giant window facing towards the Earth, and it was the most beautiful view he’s ever seen. He could stare at it for hours. Sadly, Nightwing and Starfire would not let him, saying that he’s “injured” and “might pass out soon.” One day he’ll return to that stellar view, one day.

Nightwing and Starfire directed him down the hallways towards the infirmary, meeting a few other heroes along the way. All of which thought that Danny was their son, and Danny didn’t blame them honestly. This Booster Gold guy gave him what was obviously half a container of leftover fries, that was nice. Danny finished it very quickly, and Nightwing took the empty container from him to put it away later.

When the trio actually got to the infirmary, Danny was suddenly hit with the realization of just much he has messed up the situation his was in. What would he do when everyone realizes he’s, in fact, not a Tamaranean? He’s been thinking about this before, but he’s actively digging a deeper and deeper hole for himself, like he always seems to do.

So there Danny was, standing right outside the infirmary doorway, contemplating his own existence. He felt like he wanted to cry honestly. Actually, it seemed like he was going to cry, as he was tearing up already.

“Are you okay Nightgale?” Starfire asked softly. Danny shook his head no before rapidly nodded yes and began to inch inside the infirmary. Starfire and Nightwing looked at each other worryingly, before Nightwing slipped inside before Danny even had a single foot in.

“Okay, there is only one person inside-say hi Green Arrow!” Nightwing said. A voice said hello from somewhere Danny couldn’t see. Granted, he was leaning away from the room, so he decided to finally fully step inside and look around.

Now, he could finally see this Green Arrow person, whose left leg was in a cast. He had a green hood and green-possibly leather-armor, with a green bow and quiver. Really living up to his name. His eyes widened under his eye mask upon seeing Danny enter.

“Holy shit, is that your kid from the future?!” Green Arrow exclaimed. Nightwing and Starfire quickly denied that, before sharing a look and looking at Danny inquisitively.

Danny repressed a smirk as he commented in a raspy voice, “I don’t think it’s-“ Danny coughed, “-very likely.”

The three all let out a sigh of relief, “I didn’t think that was true, but I’m glad that it’s confirmed that wasn’t the case,” Nightwing responded.

“Agreed,” Starfire added, “No offense, but it would make things…very complicated to say the least. Now, how about you lie down on one of the beds and I’ll get you water and and some traditional Tamaranean food! At least, something other than a handful of fries. How does that sound?”

Danny tried to say yes, but couldn’t push himself to do it, so he just gave her a weak thumbs up. Starfire gave him a small smile before darting outside the room. Nightwing guided Danny towards the bed that almost right in front of the door, two beds away from Green Arrow. Danny lay down, trying to get comfortable.

“So, what got you in that cast?” Nightwing asked Green Arrow. Arrow groaned, loudly, a hand going down his face.

“God, where do I even start?” Arrow mumbled, “So, I was just walking around Star City, patrolling as usual. The skies were clear, I was talking with Speedy over the phone about how he was doing,” -Arrow paused, looking over at Danny- “Speedy’s my kid and sidekick and all that jazz if you’re wondering. Sorry, I’m not hope I’m not boring you kid, or something.”

“I have never been more interested in a story ever,” Danny answered very quickly, trying not to strain his voice, which obviously didn’t work. He was also not telling the complete truth, but he was definitely more interested in this then anything he had to do for school. Which is something he completely forgot about up until now.

Shoving that thought and similar ones that accompanied it down into the darkest corners of his mind, he focused in on Green Arrow’s story.

“So there I was, climbing up a fire escape, trying to figure out what-or who- I saw from a couple of buildings down. Then-and I shit you not-a god damn pirate-that’s right, a pirate-jumped down from the building with a fire escape facing towards the fire escape I was climbing, and threw a shuriken at. My. Leg.”

“A pirate threw a shuriken at you leg?” Nightwing questioned, “That’s not the weirdest thing I guess, but why a shuriken? And why your leg? Wouldn’t it make more sense to aim for your arm?”

“Yeah, it would, which is why after the surprise of him ambushing me and pulling out a shuriken at what felt like the speed of light, I thought he would aim for my arm, so I positioned my bow to deflect it since I definitely wouldn’t be able to shoot back-not at such a close distance and in so little time. That’s why I was cut off guard and got injured.”

“Oh, but why the cast? Surely you would’ve just need some bandages right?”

“I pulled out the shuriken mid-fight, like an idiot, and right after I did, he threw a sword at me. At the same leg. It was one of those long, squiggly swords, and it was honestly impressive that he managed to scrape the same leg.”

“Ouch. Throwing a flamberge at your leg? Was his whole thing just using non-pirate themed weapons to catch people off guard?”

“Yep. Anyways, after that whole thing, I captured him, and then he fucking kicked me in the leg.”

Nightwing chuckled, and Danny suddenly, loudly, burst out into laughter, doubling over. He was previously sitting on the edge of the left side of the bed, leaning way too far towards Green Arrow, which meant that he obviously fell over. Nightwing caught him quickly and put him back onto the bed.

“Woah, be more careful ‘Gale, you’re pretty hurt,” Nightwing said.

“Yeah, are you good kid? What happened to you guys anyways?” Green Arrow asked.

“I’m-I’m fine,” Danny stifled the rest of his laughter, “Not expect that guy to just kick you, sorry.” Danny coughed, his throat was hurting a lot. He definitely needed some water right now.

“Just take it easy,” Nightwing told him, “Now, I forgot to introduce the kid to you-Green Arrow this is Nightgale, he’s a Tamaranean that I found from him falling from the sky and landing in Blüdhaven.”

“Damn that’s got to hurt way more than having a sword thrown at you,”Green Arrow commented, “Then again, aren’t Tamaraneans super resilient or something?”

“Definitely more so than humans I’ll give you that,” Nightwing looked over Danny with concern. Danny could tell they were examining him for injuries, and quickly gave him a thumbs up. Would Tamaraneans know what a thumbs up mean? Eh, he can just say he saw someone do it in the warehouse.

“The blood’s not mine,” Danny said with a smile. Nightwing sighed, slight frustration creeping into their voice.

“Yes, but that bruise on your face is yours.” Danny touched his right cheek, a bruise was definitely there. Weird, since he usually healed fast enough that it would’ve already faded away. If only that meta-or at least, what Danny assumed was a meta-didn’t punch him in the face when he was just trying to help. The lack of ectoplasm in the air probably was the cause of his unbearably slow healing.

Nightwing turned toward Green Arrow, “‘Gale decided that it would be a fantastic idea to run off and fight criminals hosting a meta fighting ring to learn English.”

Green Arrow burst out into laughter, “Oh that’s hilarious,” he said with a clap, “And wait, his name is Nightgale? Are you sure he isn’t your kid from another universe at least?”

“Another universe?” Danny said. These people were aware of the multiverse? They might not be aware of how big the multiverse is, but now Dannywas regretting not telling them the truth even more. If he did, he probably could’ve been home already!

“Considering that reaction, probably not,” Nightwing answered. Boy they did not know how wrong they were.

“Sorry I’m late!” Starfire’s voice came from down the hall. That meant Danny could get some water-and food! Danny sat straight up, before falling right back down.

“I’m here!” Starfire exclaimed as she brought in a tray of familiar looking food, and some clearly alien looking food. And a bottle of water. Danny sat up again, but fell right back down again.

“Kid, you’ve gotta get up slower,” Green Arrow told him, “You don’t have enough iron or whatever the Tamaranean equivalent is. Is there iron in Tamaranean blood, Star?”

“Hmm, I can’t remember actually,” Starfire answered, “But whether or not there is iron, Tamaraneans still need to eat occasionally. So here Nightgale, eat up!”

Danny looked over the food set in front of him. The odd looking food was clearly the ones he should eat first, since it was almost definitely Tamaranean food. One of them was moving, but was certain it wasn’t reanimated, so it was free game. Honestly, he’d eat anything that wasn’t reanimated food or literal dirt. After downing at least a quarter of the water inside the bottle, Danny dug in. To his surprise, the Tamaranean food was very good, and he could feel a smile form on his face as he ate.

“Are we allowed to eat in here?” Green Arrow asked. The other two shrugged, not knowing either.

“Don’t eat too fast now, alright ‘Gale?” Nightwing said. Danny looked up at them, just now noticing how they shortened Nightgale to just Gale. Danny was not expecting to somewhat enjoy being called that but whatever. Danny nodded, before continuing to eat his food that he was already a third of the way through.

“And don’t forget to drink your water!” Starfire added. Danny nodded again, taking a few sips from his bottle before continuing to eat.

“Again, and I know I sound like a broken record, but are you sure he’s not your kid? How old is he? Where did he even come from anyways?” Green Arrow asked.

“That’s…a good question,” Nightwing responded, “He looks like a twelve year old-in human standards at least-which means he’s probably still a kid in Tamaranean years, but we don’t know where he came from.”

Danny stiffened. It kinda sucked that he looked like a twelve year old here-he was fourteen, almost fifteen! But he knew that people looked different in different dimensions based on how close the dimensions were to each other, he had some personal experience there. But that’s not what bothered him the most. Now he has to explain how he came here. Which meant more lies and half-truths for him.

“Nightgale-“ Starfire began, before Danny cut her off.

“I was chased through a portal,” Danny said, putting his food down and trying to not make direct eye contact.

“So he could be-“ Green Arrow began, before Danny cut him off too.

“No, I’m not their kid from another universe. That’s stupid.” Danny honestly did not know the possibility of that happening, but it probably wasn’t too unlikely given how the three were considering it. Still, he didn’t think that was the case for him at least.

“Well, do you remember anything before being chased through a portal?” Night wing asked, “You don’t have to tell us anything-“ this marks the third time Danny cut someone off in this chapter.

“Lab.” Danny took another sip of water from his bottle before setting it and the half-finished tray of food on a table nearby. His throat was feeling much better, so he could elaborate, he just didn’t want to.

Danny lay back down on the bed, his face scutched up, hoping to nonverbally signal that he did not want to continue this conversation. Thankfully, the trio seemed to get it, and looked at each with a lot of concern. Which was understandable, since just saying “lab” was very vague and could indicate a lot of…uncomfortable possibilities.

“Er, sorry kid,” Green Arrow said, “Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine, I’m just tired,” was all that Danny said. He really was tired and definitely could use a nap any minute now. Or some actual sleep. When was the last time he had a full night of sleep?

“Alright kid,” Nightwing said softly, “You definitely need all the sleep you can get. Me and Star are going to try to figure out how to stabilize your powers, so don’t worry about it alright?” Danny hummed in agreement.

“Sweet dreams!” Starfire said in Tamaranean, a soft smile on her face with worry in her eyes. She and Nightwing departed soon after.

“Welp, good night kid,” Green Arrow said, “I’m probably going to be gone when you wake up, so don’t be concerned or anything.”

“Okay, good night-“ Danny yawned, “-goodnight Mister Arrow.” And with that, Danny swiftly fell asleep.

☁︎

There was an endless sea of stars before him, stretching out as far as the eye could see. Danny could point out the constellations spread all around him, from both the northern and western hemispheres, as if he was the Earth itself.

Out in the purple star speckled landscape, space began to distort. Up at the northern star, the lightly colored dots of surrounding it seem to combine together, creating a face. A face Danny was familiar with.

“Nocturn!” Danny exclaimed. Sure enough, the Nocturn was there, smiling at him.

“Hello ghost child,” Nocturn said, his voice calm and booming, “It’s nice to see you again, under less…aggressive circumstances.”

“Yeah, you trapped everyone in my town in their dreams, and then I beat you up.”

“Correct, but I am not here to trap you or your new friends. In fact, I’m here to help you, but we’ve haven’t have much time before you wake up. Now, ask away.”

“Ask away?” Danny didn’t expect that. But he definitely wouldn’t pass this opportunity up. “When can I get back home-how can I get back home?”

“When is not something I can answer, how, however, is that you need to pass this ‘test’ Clockwork has come up with.”

“Oh, of course it’s all Clockwork’s fault,” Danny groaned, “He’d once said that me cheating on test would cause everyone I loved to die and me to take over the world. I still don’t believe that.”

“Neither do I,” Nocturn admitted, “Perhaps he was trying to ‘hit two birds with one stone,’ he wasn’t the cause of you ending up here, but he is the reason you cannot leave yet.”

“Did he at least say what I need to do?”

“No, he did not. It was very much left out on purpose.”

Danny groaned, it’s not like he could do anything except play along. Or try to get the Justice League to help, but he’s far too deep into his lie now to do that quickly.

“Alright, fine, how about…why do I apparently look like I’m twelve to everyone here huh?”

“People tend to look different in different dimensions.”

“I already knew that, I didn’t even need to ask I guess,” Danny mumbled, “Okay, so why can’t I turn back into a human, and why does my arm hurt whenever I use my powers?”

“It’s quite simple really,” Nocturn said as stars began to move and change shape right in front of Danny, “This is your realm, or universe,” a handful of stars combined together, with the smaller stars moving out of the way,  creating a huge space between the newly combined star and the other, smaller ones, “and these are the universes closest to yours, but they’re not alternate versions of your universe, that would be much too complicated to show,” a bunch of stars the same size as the big one appeared, with empty space still between them and the smaller stars, “I’m sure you’ve been to at least one of these before right?”

Danny nodded as he remembered that one time-well, it was definitely multiple times-he had saved the multiverse before.

“I thought this was the whole multiverse, but I’m guessing I’m wrong about that huh?”

“Correct. This-“ the stars shrunk and shrunk until Danny couldn’t even see the original dot that was his own, but instead a small dot resembling his own section of the multiverse was there, which another dot of the same size appearing a bit aways from it.

“This, is the section of the multiverse you’re in.”

“That’s…” Danny ran his hand through his hair, “That seems kinda…far away, isn’t it?”

“Correct again. However there is some good news-currently, every minute that passes in your own universe, a day passes here.”

“Oh thank god,” Danny heaved out a long sigh, “I wasn’t even thinking about that.”

“You think?” Nocturn replied snarkily.”

“Oh shut up you damn disgrace to space, just answer my question please.”

“Alright then. The Ghost Zone, as you may well know, is also known as the Infinite Realms, for a good reason as well.

“The Infinite Realms is connected to the entire multiverse, some claiming that it’s the glue holding it all together. Whether that’s true or not, you can travel from this universe and your universe as easily as you travel from your universe to another universe from your own section of the multiverse.”

The two dots suddenly went back to their original size, looking like they were from the same section of the multiverse.

“As you may guess, that means it is easier for ghosts to travel across the multiverse compared to others.”

“What if I came here in human form?” Danny asked nervously.

“Well, for one, you would almost definitely stick out as an ‘extra-dimensional being,’ and two, you might not survive since you traveled here from the Ghost Zone.”

“Oh.”

“‘Oh’ indeed. Your arm hurts because that was where the catalyst of your current state occurred.”

“You mean that’s where I got zapped by the portal and got turned into this thing,” Danny corrected as he waved a hand up and down his body, “My parents may be scientists, but I am a C-student and can’t understand your stupid jargon.”

Nocturn sighed, “It wasn’t jargon, I was trying to be polite, and your status of being a C-student is unrelated.”

“Just get on with the explanation please, we’re running out of time!” Danny complained.

“I was-bah, whatever, you’re a dumb, bratty child-your ghost form is trying to keep you alive even if you most likely don’t need to stay in it. Thankfully, since you are able to consume food and such because of your human form, you won’t permanently become a ghost, or disappear because of the low amount of ectoplasm needed to sustain a powerful ghost such as yourself.”

Danny gasped a bit cheerfully, “I’m powerful?”

“Compared to most ghosts in this section-and I would say most sections if not for the multiverse going on infinitely-yes, you are.”

“So basically, I’m stuck in this little loop of my ghost form trying to not get my human form killed, to my ghost form basically killing me because I can’t normally get the energy I need with it, to my human form allowing me to get the energy my ghost form needs to keep me in it. Is that right or am I stupid?”

“You’re correct. You are far smarter than you give yourself credit for young ghost.”

“That’s…kinda bad, like the system’s very counterproductive.”

“A lot of things are counterproductive, especially when it comes to humans. Now, I feel like our time’s about to run up. Ask any other questions you need to, quickly.”

“Oh uh, um, is the Justice League evil, are the people from there I’ve met so far evil?”

“Not in this universe. Now, it is time to wake up.”

Before Danny could get another word in, he opened his eyes.

☁︎

Danny barely had any time to process what just occurred in his dream before sitting up to focus on what exactly woke him up. The door to the infirmary had opened, and someone had stepped inside. It was Batman.

“Ah, it seems you’ve just woken up, correct?” Batman asked. Danny gulped. He remembered that Batman had access to his DNA, and was likely going to confront him about that. Danny looked over to the bed where Green Arrow was, only to find it empty.

“Green Arrow just left as I came inside here, he told me tell you that he hopes you’ll feel better soon,” Batman answered Danny’s unspoken question for him as the former walked further inside. Danny shrunk back into the bed as far as could while still keeping an eye on Batman. Thankfully, he stopped in his tracks once he noticed this.

“I have no plans on hurting you, I just want to talk.” Danny was surprised with how much Batman sounded genuinely concerned for him, even if it was covered in a mostly monotone voice.

Danny shifted in place, trying to think of what to say, “Well, you seem kinda scary with that mask on I guess.” Danny was hating every word that came out of his mouth, but he can’t turn back time right now, unfortunately.

Batman made a humming noise, probably thinking about what to say. He answered quicker than Danny expected, “I’d take it off if wasn’t concerned about you shooting me in the eyes.”

“Oh god Nightwing told you about that didn’t he?”

“And Beast Boy.”

“Erm, yeah you have a point there I guess,” Danny fiddled with the bedsheet, “I…don’t want to hurt you either. I just…” Danny trailed off as he considered his options. Batman definitely knew he wasn’t Tamaranean, but if Danny told him the truth, would Batman tell anyone else? Danny fiddled with bedsheets even more as he started to panic. He was panicking a lot recently wasn’t he?

“Everyone with super hearing within the Justice League is either on world or otherwise not in the Watchtower,” Batman stated, capturing Danny’s attention back to him, “The walls in the Watchtower are reinforced so that it would be easier for those with super to focus on the sound coming from the room they’re currently in. No one would be able to eavesdrop on us, so you wouldn’t need to worry about that.”

“T-thank you???” Danny was honestly surprised, yet again, about how kind this Batman was being. Like, he seemed so menacing when he first saw him-and still looks menacing-but hot damn he cared so much. And he cared this much about this random child who was definitely lying to him and everyone else.

“You’re so fucking weird, I’m lying to you, I’m lying to everyone, yet you’re so god damn nice for no reason, you’re not my dad, what the hell is wrong with you?” Danny was not expecting to word vomit all of that out, but he did just wake up. Did not help from him feeling super stupid though.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry Mister Batman sir, I uh, thanks. Please kill me-actually no, dying hurts please don’t do that, I just need to stop talking, preferably forever, just don’t hurt me,” Danny was also not expecting to be tearing up while saying that, but at least he finally had shut up.

“You are just a child, aren’t you?” Batman asked.

“Should you even believe me?”

“Perhaps not. But, that doesn’t mean I won’t give you a chance to explain yourself, ‘Nightgale.’”

Danny sighed, rubbed his eyes free of tears, and began to speak, “Danny. My name is Danny. I’m a ghost, I’m not from here, not the universe, not even this section of the multiverse, hell, I’m not even a full ghost-I’m not sure of what I am!” Danny threw his arms up in the air before letting them fall down his face.

“I’m just a freaky boy, with freaky little powers, and I was just minding my own business before I got stuck here, because some time ghost-god-thing named ‘Clockwork,’ wants me to complete this test, and I don’t even what that test is.” Danny felt tears rolling down his face as he spoke. Batman was sitting nearby on a chair, not too close, but close enough that he could probably punch him or something.

Danny finished his little rant with a sentence that was almost a whimper, “I just want to go home. And I can’t. He won’t let me. And I’m scared, I know everything back home is fine, but what about here, what am I supposed to do-what can I do?

“I’ve fought some of the most powerful ghosts in the Infinite Realms and I’ve won. But I’m weak, I’m weak now, I can’t remember half the things I can do, so how should I know what I should do?

“I’m fourteen, technical almost fifteen I guess, but here I am! Worry about how adults would feel if I tell them that I’m not actually a Tamaranean, that I’ve been lying to them, about whether or not they would fight me, and about whether or not they would be heartbroken.“

Danny curled up, pulling his knees towards him and setting his head on his knees. He looked at Batman expectingly, “What should I do?” Danny asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Batman put his hand to his chin, thinking.

“They wouldn’t fight you,” Batman said, in such a way that made it sound like the absolute truth to Danny, “They might be disappointed, or feel betrayed, but once you explain yourself, they would do everything in their power to help you.”

“I-“ Danny paused, and took a deep breath in and out, “I want to believe you, I really do. I guess…I just have a problem with telling the truth once I’ve lied enough I guess.”

“Understandable.”

“You…you aren’t going to tell anyone about this aren’t you?”

“I won’t. Not now, only if you need me too.”

“Thank you,” Danny grabbed his water bottle and took a sip. He noticed how the veins on his left hand and arm weren’t glowing as much, so he was probably fine using it for a little bit. “I honestly thought you were going to kill me,” Danny muttered as he untied his gloves from his belt and put them back on.

“I wouldn’t. There’s no reason to.”

“Oh, thanks. I wish I could repay you, but, I’m kind of trying not to fully go ghost from using my powers too much. My left arm is kinda, not great. I’m not usually like this by the way, but I dunno, I’m still really tired and I don’t know what else to say.”

“That’s alright,” Batman got up from his chair, “I’m leaving now, do you need anything?”

“Well, I’ve got food, I still have some water, so…” Danny looked around, before looking down at himself, “I think I need some new clothes. I’ve been wearing this suit in this form ever since I sorta died, so if you could get something, that would be nice. But if not that’s fine.”

“Alright, I’ll get something sorted for you. Have a good sleep Nightgale,” Batman walked towards the door before Danny made a noise resembling a ‘wait!’ Batman stopped a turned around, one eye going up ever so slightly in confusion.

“Is something wrong?” Batman asked.

“No, but I was wondering, are you like, a vampire or something?”

“No.”

“So are you just some guy?” And Danny couldn’t have ever expected what happened next. Batman, one of the kindest and simultaneously most menacing and stoic person he’s met, smirked at him, which was gone in almost an instant. Danny had never felt so offended before, and that fact showed on his face.

“So why are you even called Batman? Are there a lot of bats where you live?”

“In my Bat Cave, yes.”

“…Are you sure you aren’t a vampire?”

“Not in this universe.”

“Okay, one of these days I need a rundown on how you guys know about the multiverse, not now though because I’m too tired to remember stuff like that.”

“Then I guess I’ll be taking my leave then.”

“I guess you will, as long as you don’t ever smirk again.” Batman turned away so Danny didn’t know if he did smirk or not, but he didn’t care all too much. He just wanted to go back to sleep.

After talking a bite of one the pieces of food that was still left and putting the water bottle back, Danny let out a long sigh. He had no idea where to go from here, but maybe some more sleep would help him sort out his thoughts. Yeah, that makes sense.

So Danny quickly fell asleep, with Nocturn fortunately not showing up again.

[chimeragirldick]

personal deltarune/undertale gaster thoughts

triggered by this post: https://www.tumblr.com/gasterofficial/742325606551863296/my-theory

and this video: https://youtu.be/RsSUyfmvJKI?si=wSwiE3JFVlS2aaZz

(saw the post first and just watched the video)

so getting it out of the way i am a person who believes the (when you think about it strangely obvious idea) that there are multiple gasters. considering we’re already exploring an alternate universe with different versions of existing characters and gaster has been “shattered across time and space” (quite literally if that one gaster follower holding a piece of him is to be believed). which does make it kinda weird it hasn’t had a more present idea in theory crafting (at least until recently i think)

the egg man

anyway, going with the multiple gasters thing i think the egg man is gaster, specifically a fragment of undertale gaster. as spookydood says in his video, gaster in deltarune doesn’t really have an association with sudden disappearance unlike undertale gaster so maybe that ties the egg man more strongly to ut gaster. if the card is also from the egg man it could also explain his confusion, being shattered across time and space potentially missing memories and definitely missing pieces of himself would probably do that.

also a funny idea about the weird eggs and egg man, what if the eggs are pieces of gaster like the one held by the gaster follower, it is kinda egg shaped and gaster (mystery man sprite which based on the 66 fun value to find him i think is probably gaster) does kind of look like an egg.

the mystery man

now when it comes to the main gaster we talk to there are two thoughts in my mind. one: it is deltarunes gaster, two: it is another fragment of undertale gaster. deltarune gaster could’ve been experimenting with darkness like undertale gaster was, but maybe he didn’t fall into his creation so he is whole and wouldn’t face the complications of being shattered across time and space like ut gaster would.

however him being another fragment of ut gaster is interesting story wise, it continues the clear ties undertale and deltarune have ti each other to form a complete narrative (while both games of course still have their own separate narratives) the differing personalities could also be explained by the whole being shattered thing, maybe some pieces are more whole, or twitter/intro/death gaster is a gaster after having been able to find more of his pieces and become as close to whole as possible, potentially the gaster seen in the mystery man room. maybe eggaster is so vaguely described as simply “a man” is because is made of less pieces and is thus less whole and more non-descript.

some random ideas

also a self indulgent belief, if we are talking to two different undertale gasters then deltarune gaster is unaccounted for and can then slide into the head cannon i’ve seen which i like and that is that gaster is a professor at asriel and chara’s college and the three of them get up to silly shenanigans together. also i like the tie it would give to undertale.

also with eggaster being a ut gaster fragment, i like the implication this has for the eggs. while the other gaster is more important to deltarune’s story eggaster could focus more on some loose ends from undertale eg. where sans and pap come from (probably deltarune) and this could occur via the eggs somehow, undertales remaining questions could be answered in deltarune and could remain as they should be in deltarune “not too important, not too unimportant”. while a leap there is a small thing (that depending on 3&4 could be cemented in my mind) the final resting place for the eggs thus far is with an undertale character, so if this continues that’s interesting. of course the fact that most of the characters are undertale ones weakens this as it’s more of a majority thing, so going a bit more specific it could specifically be with the lost souls that the eggs final destiny lay. assuming that chapters don’t go beyond 7 (as it’s possible they do) this works well, there is a spare egg which can be solved with two ideas, one: there will be no chapter 7 egg, two: one egg goes to asriel the non-literal lost soul.

finally a small idea i had about another meta thing with gaster is the potential that two gasters with vastly different personalities and the idea that gaster has been shattered across time and space could provide a meta commentary on the idea of fan interpretation of characters. even before deltarune when the only content of gaster was fully serious there where many goofier interpretations of gaster. as a very mysterious character he also has a lot of potential for speculation and interpretation, is he related to sans and papyrus; is he their father, grandfather, brother, uncle; what kind of scientist was he, was he a mad scientist; was he a good person? the two different gasters could represent the two different gasters in the fandom. in a way, when characters are written into fan works they are shattered, pieces of them taken, emphasized, explored more than others and in a literal way this has happened to gaster. it’s not unlikely he was a man of multitudes that have now fractured and simplified.

so yeah that’s it rambling over. it’s probably poorly formatted with some contradictions or weird wordings but this is just a word splurge direct from my brian.

[lunar-years]

Jamie's mum is EXACTLY what I expected, I always thought they'd be super super close and he would be an extreme mummy's boy and this just went above and beyond. I have no idea why anyone ever thought she was dead, estranged, absent or anything like that, but I also never thought James came back as young as some others seem to think he did - Jamie never would have lived with him or anything, he would have just seen him now and then as a teenager until it got worse and worse. But this ties into his mum and Simon - Simon knew about the poster rotation and the some of the players be mentioned retired a WHILE ago. Which makes me think the mention of James trying to get back with Jamie's mum when Jamie was 14 wasn't in any way successful, like he showed up and she was already with someone else, but he was allowed to form a relationship with Jamie. Jamie never says they did get back together. So based on that and the poster details think Simon has been around ten to fifteen years, meaning that even though his bio dad had an awful impact in his later teens, Jamie was actually raised by two soft loving parents. Which makes sense for what a sweet happy baby he is when he isn't being triggered by his dad.

Gold star for anticipating the dynamiccc :)

Idk, my own thoughts are complicated (probably too complicated to discuss articulately as I'm still giddily writhing from a fantastic episode, but I'll give it a short go). I don't think I'm ever not going to think the way he talks about her in previous episodes was very wistful and implies a level of distance (that yes clearly is not the actual case, but I do think it feels a little disjointed, lol). That said, I've had a million thoughts on Jamie's mother and very rarely the same thought twice, so I've always felt any interpretation of her was/is valid.

I think I'll probably continue to think along those lines about many things, especially the way his mum and Simon and his dad all fit into the same picture. For instance, I personally still feel the line is played in the Amsterdam scene as "this was not the first nor the last time my dad tried to get back with my mum" and whether or not he was ever successful, well, who knows/can be head-cannoned different ways. Same goes for the level of his dad's involvement and when it all began (all we know with certainty is that it's been at least since Jamie was age 14). I mean, I think you're right that Jamie never lived with his dad permanently or anything, but I think it'd still be fair to say he might've spent weekends with him, etc. Regardless of the specifics, his influence was clearly palpable.

Meeting his mum was so great though. It wasn't something that was especially on my radar as a plot I really wanted for the season (I know some people have thought about her at extremely great length, whereas I've just never felt particularly invested in her one way or another) but it ended up being SO FUN!! Their scene was the cutest and best (the sexy baby callback was incredible). 100/10.

[luimagines]

Ooh reading Wild’s portion of the female reader one made me think waaaaay too hard about some of my head cannons from my overly complicated BOTW au (from before it morphed into something that can no longer be considered even remotely related to Zelda lmao)

I’m now making my thoughts ya’lls problem. BOTW spoilers ahead? Maybe?

- Reader is Wild’s younger sibling

- Reader shows some potential for magic at a young age

- Reader is just old enough to understand what Wild being taken for military training at a very young age means.

- they decided that they aren’t gonna let their big brother fight alone so they train and train their magical powers and eventually could take any of the champions in a fight and at least draw.

- reader was away at magic school when the calamity hit

- most of the events of the Calamity remain the same except that Wild isn’t in a state to be revived

- instead Reader is able to grasp onto Zelda’s magic and force open a portal. They grab the master sword and feed their own magic through it to protect Zelda while she seals the calamity.

- Fi doesn’t recognize them as her master, but Reader persists because dang it, their brother will NOT have died for nothing. Fi recognizes their courage and devotion and lets them use her even though they aren’t her master.

- something goes wrong, Reader winds up in the shrine of resurrection and Zelda is still waiting for 100 years.

- story then goes on as normal.

- Yunobo, Riju, Teba, Sidon, and Reader call themselves the “successor squad”

- reader ends up getting all their memories back eventually as each ghost of a former champion unlocks a little bit of their previous magic and the magic slowly beats back the memory loss

- ends with Reader getting the master sword from the spirit of Wild, when they get the rest of their memories back

- ENTER LU COMPATIBLE STORYLINE -

- reader recognizes wild right away and is extremely confused, offended, on guard, and livid

- who the hell do you think you are?!?!?!?!?

- wild is just confused

- after a few minutes Reader figures out that he’s actually their big brother, just from an alternate universe and starts to cry

- reader explains who they are, and that they’re from an alternate timeline

- then Wild is crying too and hugs them tight

- Wild’s Reader is long dead, and so is Reader’s Wild.

- but that’s okay. Because they have each other now, and they’re never letting go again.

- glitter ✨

I know the end was supposed to be the happy ending Glitter-

But technically- Wild doesn't fully remember his little sibling. Remember that short when Wind was talking about Aryll. Wild went to say something but he didn't have enough information to contribute to the conversation. So he dropped it.

Reader would remember Wild in this case.

But Wild won't remember Reader. So.... That's another interesting take on it. I think it would be heartbreaking on all fronts. Because maybe Reader is projecting and maybe Wild begins to feel even worse about his "failure".

Or how about Wild acts as their older brother anyway- gaining fake memories when Reader tries to see if it would spark something. It doesn't. But Wild is running with it.

It's just another thing someone expects him to be- when he's not that person any more.

[covecornerarchive]

selfshippinglover asked:

How about general hcs for the villains?

Aw yee!

This won't be all the ones I have for them, just some off the top of my head. Also keep in mind these might include some stuff that are more in line with my own adaptation I'm working on, so they might contradict some of the info in the wiki

Horace Horrible:

- During most of season 1, he is just the most eccentric, bat shit man you'll ever meet. Very high energy nearly 24/7 and little volume control.

- For the first few episodes he and the Rubber Fishes crew are the main villains of the show, and most of their antics include robbing other pirate crews, beating the Laughingstock crew to treasure, kidnapping Janice for ransom, and sometimes just finding ways to mess with the protagonists and make their day considerably worse for the heck of it.

- On the antagonist scale, he falls in the team rocket category if that makes any sense, at least during the beginning of season 1. He's still villainous, and a considerable threat to the protagonists, but in a more comical, theatrical sense to where he's more fun than threatening to the audience.

- A running gag in the show is that he comes up with just....the most crazy, unnecessarily complicated schemes that don't really make a whole lot of sense.

- While he does really play up the whole "evil pirate who cares for no one and just wants power," shtick, and while a good portion of it's really how he is, he does show moments of genuinely caring for others, mainly to his crew and sometimes skin-taker in some cases.

- He's short, somewhere around 5 foot 4 inches, and while he's not insecure about it, he does where shoes adjacent to plat-former's to seem more intimidating. Despite this I always draw him as if he's 3 inches tall-

- He wasn't always a pirate, despite what he says about his life long dream to have always been "to become the greatest and most feared pirate to sail the seas." He actually used to be a street magician before he saw what the life of a pirate was like, decided "oh this fucks!" on jumped onto that instead.

- Personality wise I see him being similar to something like Cesare from Big Top Burger.

- Dude is actually really flamboyant and dresses pretty fancy. Over the course of the show he wears a series of different over the top outfits.

- Scruffy man

- While he makes threats and does some pretty villainous stuff in the beginning, before Skin-taker came along it's hard to see him as...100% malicious, if that makes any sense. Like, he's still evil, but you never get the sense he's seriously trying to kill anyone or ruin lives in any way. It's heavily implied when first summoning skin-taker for aid after a series of losses against the laughingstock he wasn't fully aware of all the horrors that'd come with it.

- However, over the course of the series after Skin-taker is summoned, we do begin to see Horace becoming more malicious himself.

Skin-taker:

- Yeaaaaaah big bad man lets goooo!!

- When Skin-taker first appears all he has is his worn and slightly tattered hat and cape. However, not only does his cape grow longer over the course of the show, but by the finale he has a full outfit made from skin (skin suit if you will).

- My version of Skin-taker does not fully remember his time as Thade Soben by the time the main series begins as he lost most of those memories along with his mind. He'll have small moments of remembering every now and again, but they're jumbled, few and far between, and afterwards he's just "lol that was weird, anyways-"

- This is actually @candlecovewiki's head cannon: Skin-taker (and Thade) actually has an association with butterflies. Through out the show, there are times where a black butterfly can be seen on screen, usually moments before he appears or something relating to death or danger occurs to one of the characters, and butterfly imagery can be seen if looked for in places associated with him. This is because butterflies often symbolize death or rebirth. It's been noticed that Janice seems to have an association with them as well, as she has a butterfly hair clip.

- there are so many parallels between skin-taker and janice in both their characters and arcs through out the show its not even funny-

- Skin-taker is genuinely creepy and very intimidating, but like, he doesn't try to be. Don't get me wrong, he's 100% aware how he scares people and often uses that to his advantage, but in most cases he's not consciously trying to horrify people, he's just naturally like that.

- He's either very polite, and well spoke with just enough of a bad vibe that you're not quite sure if he's threatening you or genuinely trying to be friendly, or a complete eldritch cryptid who will brutally steal your knee caps no questions asked.

- After Skin-taker comes to candle cove, the show's writing, specifically in regards to the other characters, begins to gain more depth and delve into far more darker elements. It's not that every thing is one dimensional before that, but everything really does get a lot more complicated after he shows up.

- Despite literally being the main villain, he's the only one who never has cursed. Instead he opts to make up silly words to substitute (and it has a worse affect anyways).

- He has a sword that looks like a far bigger version of a skinning knife, and is made up of mostly bone.

- Skin-taker can just summon shit out of thin hair. He never carries anything on him he just reaches behind his back and boom, pulls out a sword, where the hell did he get it???

- He can't read a room for the life of him. He never knows how to respond to other's emotions and when it comes to tone he doesn't initially recognize sarcasm and tends to take most things literally.

- Despite that he actually really likes puns and riddles.

- He has really weird out of nowhere moments where he's just...nice??? And they're in regards to the oddest stuff you'd never suspect??? Like, a part of why he's so unnerving is you never know if he's about to brutally murder you and your loved ones or invite you to tea (or both). It's not known if this behavior is intentional in order to keep his enemies on their toes or if since he doesn't see his killings as wrong he just thinks he's acting completely normal.

- An example of this is how he's completely fine with attacking the laughingstock crew on any day other than a crew members birthday because hey c'mon he's evil but that's just mean (except Poppy, he remembers Poppy's birthday so he can SPECIFICALLY attack on that day).

- Plays the viola

- Can do stuff like detach his dead and limbs and them remaining fully functioning while so.

- Has this thing where if you're pretty nice and are just doing your best he'll actually remain fairly courteous towards you (I mean, he'll still want to kill you, no sympathy for the living and all), but if you're a jackass you die faster.

- Is the only one who knows what a meme is.

- no regards for personal space.

Red Mary-

- Red Mary is the only other character besides Skin-taker who directly addresses the audience. She hardly does it as frequently, only in the prequel books, and seems to hold more animosity towards them, implying those watching at home are just as bad as her, as they do nothing but watch her drag characters they "love" through hell for entertainment.

- Only character to still address Skin-taker as Thade (he haaaaates it).

- Red Mary keeps her motives fairly cryptid, but it seems as though she's furious that humans, beings who are weak and live such short lives, get to inhabit a beautiful world, while powerful abyssians like her have been forced to reside in the abyssal kingdom, a void when compared to the latter. She claims she wants to "burn the world and make a new from the ashes," so that only she and others as powerful as her can reside in it "as they deserve."

- In my version she actually joins the Tarantula Crew a while after Thade, and instead of Thade recognizing her as a prisoner from Tartarus, he does so because she was the cause of the burning of his past crews ship, him being the only one to get out (something I might go more into in the future when I explain my own adaptation).

- She seems to join the crew because she catches wind onto the fact they're hunting for a powerful artifact (her subject for betrayal), and because she recognizes Thade as the powerful necromancer she let go from the ship she had burned then.

- Her relationship with Thade before the betrayal was....weird to say the least??? Before revealing her true colors she was deceptively sweet and charismatic, and always seemed to make a point to be kind and make friends with Thade especially. She did this because she realized how powerful he was and wanted to eventually convince him to betray the crew with her when she did so. Buuut Thade was kind of creeped out by how overly nice she was so it never worked.

- She also fucking loathes him because how despite being wielder of one of the most rare and powerful magics (necromancy), he doesn't want to use it or get more powerful, and is perfectly content with "throwing it all away," so he could just spend time with the Tarantula crew (people who wouldn't even live as long as a fraction of his own life).

- She actually believes she did him a favor with taking it all away and causing him to become skin-taker.

- She old. Around 200 while Skin-taker is around 100.

- She just becomes more eldritch and unrecognizable as human as her quest goes on and her magic becomes more powerful. It's pretty grotesque actually.

- Much like how Thade/ Skin-taker is associated with butterfly imagery, she's associated with crow imagery. This may be due to many different folk lore including a connection between crows and the creation, or at least element, of fire. One of which being the tale of Prometheus, whose liver was pecked out by crows every day as punishment fro giving the gift of fire to man, a myth Red Mary actually references during her time with the Tarantula Crew.

- The fire that comes from her magic can't be put out by natural means, and anything it alights is cursed to burn forever, even in death. Only someone with water oriented magic can put her fires out.

- After she burned the Tarantula ship, she just took it for herself. Legend says if you see this ghostly ship, on fire yet still sailing, and captained by the devil herself, you will die in your next battle at sea (news flash, that battle is probably with her because when she sees anything in her path her only thought is "MAIM KILL DESTROY")

- shaaaaarp teeth

- Feels nothing for humans and less powerful abyssians, just viewing them as either insects, or short lived amusements.

(October 14, 2021)

[worldweaverofmediocrity]

Isekai Quartet Reacts ch6

An: I'm using the OVAs for Subtitles of the songs only, because I believe they are non-canon. That and because I don't find the first one funny. If you haven't read the first interlude before this, go back and read it. Also just finished the isekai quartet movie as my new year's celebration (Dec 31 of 2022). And Re zero’s timeline just got a whole lot more complicated. Because they now have season 2 development/powers, and at the end both Otto and Garfiel join the school.

THAT’s excluding the only semi-cannon of Alec Hoshin (Re zero) appearance who made the nation where Anatasia came from and is her namesake. AND the only appearance of Glittering Angel Neko Nyan-san (Overlord) who is the Wind God of the Slane Theocracy. Because his hair is blue and blue is associated with wind in Marumya’s mind. AND Alec dropped even more fuel for the Subaru=Flugel/Emilia=Satella/Repeating World Cycle ala Hinduism Theories.

BECAUSE OF FUCKING COURSE HE DID! WHY CAN’T SUBARU AND EMILIA JUST BE THEMSELVES WITHOUT ALSO BEING A CHARACTER FROM PRE-CALAMITY! …or maybe Tappei is an extreme Legend of Zelda fanboy. But hey, we get solid confidence and character building from Ainz. So everything is a net positive. Overall, I enjoyed it more than Avatar: Way of Water. Also if anyone is decent at buddhism or zen buddhism, plz respond. 

>.> don’t know if I’ll go back to rewrite but. I’ve decided that Cocytus lying down is too demeaning to him, so he’s now in an indented seat in the ground, with the floor reaching his chest. 

Got a job on March 27 2023, so I now do eight hour work shifts for 3 days of the week. In the meantime, my other fic Isekai Heroes has become the longest running IQ fic clocking in over 10 chapters. I also completed all 22 volumes of Shield Hero for that story, and read more of the Overlord LNs for that. Currently I am in the process of reading the entirety of Overpowered Hero. …finished Overpowered, and wow it got very “Tonight’s Episode: The Author’s Barely Disguised (Public Humiliation) Fetish.”

Also Seiya is not a planet buster like Vegeta. When placed into a distorted world (thanks Goddess of Atrocity) that (he thought) had absolutely no impact on the true world of Geaebrande, he didn’t blow up the planet. So, (so far at least) all mentions of blowing planets up are hyperbole. Like Reinhard cutting/destroying the world and then recreating it as a side effect of Killing the Beast of the End.

As a side effect of having to constantly pause/I watched and rewatched this anime too many times thus none of the jokes are landing and I don’t know where I should have the characters be laughing.

---------------

A series of irrigated grain paddies was shown. Frogs/another farm ambiance animal made their noises. Another bit of farmland was shown near what was presumably Kazuma’s house. A blurry computer screen was shown before Kazuma raised his hand and tugged on his sleeve.

“There we go…” Kazuma said.

The camera zoomed out to look down at Kazuma and his room. Many books/mangas were shown via their spine art from behind Kazuma and his dual monitor computer.

“I normally shut myself in at home, but unusually for me, today I made up my mind to go out.” Kazuma thought while more of his room was shown.

A closer perspective showed that there were game cases mixed in with the presumed manga. In addition next to his computer were two slimes from Dragon Quest, a magical girl, an anthro cat, a dog wearing sunglasses that might have been female judging by the placement of the flower on its head. An anthro pig next to a shank of meat.

“Why do you have those blue slimes?” Seiya asked. “Only Gaebrande has them.”

Kazuma turned to look him in the eye. “How did you miss the genre defining masterpieces known as Dragon Quest? They basically made a lot of the conventions of the Japanese RPG game.”

“That’s what I said!” Ristarte threw up her arms.

Seiya rubbed his nose. “What you said was [Ah, there’s still a Japanese person who doesn’t know what a slime is.], you didn’t name drop anything.”

“So you have heard of Dragon Quest?!” Ristarte twitched her head. “Then how did you not see the slimes, they are basically the poster figures of the Dragon Quest Franchise!”

The chat log scrolled by, unfortunately untranslated. Kazuma zipped up his tracksuit. Kazuma nodded to himself, picked up his backpack, and walked out of his bedroom.

“All to get my hands on the first-run limited edition-” Kazuma closed his door and the scenery changed to a bridge over a small valley. “Of a popular online game that goes on sale today.”

Time passed as we faded from back and to a faucet above a pond or puddle with tadpoles in it. A bus passed to reveal a happy Kazuma clutching the aforementioned game’s cover. 

“A five hour round trip! I’m glad I was able to buy it.” Kazuma said.

I believe the main theme music is played with piano notes.

“In store exclusives, officials or not, really are playing dirty.” Kazuma commented, slightly glaring at the game he just brought.

Kazuma squinted as the sun blared its presence to all within its gravity well. “This sunlight is my worst enemy after three straight all-nighters.” Kazuma thought while using his hand to block the sun.

“Are you sure you got the right game? Because you should already be hallucinating by then.” Tanya asked.

“How the hell did your body not cave in at the first excuse for sleep like mine did?” Subaru asked.

“Considering there was a massive line, yes I am sure I got the correct game. The hallucination, you’ll see later. Regarding the sleep thing, sports drinks.” Kazuma answered.

Kazuma turned his back on the sunlight and staggered his way home. A highschool girl was walking towards Kazuma and a Truck was gaining ground.

“Time to get home and play the hell out of this.” Kazuma thought.

The girl was happily walking by looking at her cream-covered smartphone. Kazuma walked past her and moved his eyes to glance back at her.

“A girl from my highschool?” Kazuma asked himself.

“High school?” Raphtalia asked.

“Because of the sheer amount of stuff discovered in the Renaissance and Industrial Eras, we’ve had to group education into various age groups.” Naofumi said. “For Japan schooling starts as young as three years old in the Preschool, where the basic Hiragana script and other basic essentials are taught. From preschool we start with the compulsory and government paid public schools. Unless you are rich enough to afford a private school.

In elementary schools we learn a decent chunk of our knowledge considering it starts when we are 6 years old and goes on for 6 years. Though because it only reaches the titular elementary stuff not many organizations fund elementary level schooling and the government pays for over 90% of them. Then there is the final compulsory school for 3 years called the Junior High School. These are noteworthy because they have even fewer private schools than elementary schools and the fact that all of them require their own uniforms.

High Schools however require exams to enter and tuition for the three years that you are there. But do their best to apply the finishing touches to your education and prepare you to enter college where you can study to become lawyers or merchants and other ‘high society’ type positions.”

Emilia giggled. “That’s what I feel like my current education is.”

“Why do you think I am such a nagger at taking breaks, hm?” Subaru asked, left eyebrow raised.

Emilia bowed to his wisdom. 

“The government paid for most of that education?!” Satoru said in his mind. “Perhaps mom wouldn’t have died if the government or corps paid for that.”

Kazuma and the music halted as he saw something offscreen. In the midst of the glaring sunlight, Kazuma saw Truck-Kun barreling through the fields directly towards the highschool girl.

“Look out! That truck’s going to-” Kazuma shouted as he pushed the girl out of the way.

Though Truck-Kun’s true form as a tractor did pass the screen as the camera rapidly filtered between all three members of this accident.

The more prospective members of the theater noticed the change.

“Oh good, he didn’t actually get reaped by Truck-kun.” Tanya thought.

“Why did the trophy for killing over ten thousand human players appear here?” Ainz thought.

Kazuma’s backpack leapt off his back, spilling the game he so desperately wanted. Leaving Kazuma, the girl, and his items hanging in the air in the supposed headlights. The cloudy blue sky was shown.

“Why would I choose now, of all times, to do something so out of character?” Kazuma asked himself.

The game case flipped open dramatically, spilling its contents. A dark purple/brown haired knight figurine, the manual, and the actual CD case all shown in the sunlight. The box had the title of Mrtiad or Myriad (with a sword replacing the r?) Swords II. The CD case fell down to reveal the figurine knight in the front. To the left was a blond haired person wearing a black blindfold and steel-gray armor. To the right was a blond woman wearing golden bikini armor. And behind them all was the stereotypical Old Man Detity.

DVD static played as it faded to white. More DVD screen tearing/static played as Kazuma jerked back into awareness. He was sitting on a red-cushioned chair which was on a very soft/low saturation chess board. Gray mist hung close to the ground, and faint spots of light were shown. Across from Kazuma was a white chair with a white nightstand next to it and a red book upon the night stand.

“Wait, this means that I, a literal skeleton-appearing undead, am the only one out of the main Protags to die?!” Satoru screamed in his mind.

Heels clicked as Aqua walked on screen. Stylishly showing off her sex appeal, though in the most modest way Konosuba will ever be.

“Satou Kazuma-san.” Aqua said elegantly as she walked past Kazuma. “Welcome to the afterlife.”

Megumin and Darkness just sat there resisting the sway of Aqua’s voice.

“That hair ornament, it's the molecular structure of water right?” Satoru questioned.

Those who knew what a molecular structure was twitched and looked at Aqua better.

Aqua merely had an insanely smug grin on her face. “The others I can understand, but you Kazuma? How you could miss the obvious for so long and you call me an idiot!”

Kazuma blushed heavily. 

Those unaware of molecules deduced that it was the smallest instance of Water possible.

“Water is associated with purity and life, among other things. So she’ll definitely be the most troublesome of our fellow schoolmates, regardless of her personality.” Demiurge and Albedo thought. “Though I doubt she would be so foolish as to break a non aggression treaty that she offered. Through the wisdom of the Supreme Beings, we should have enough Water Breathing Rings to counteract any drowning attempts. …assuming her water doesn’t behave like acid to the undead and unholy, especially not Lord Herohero grade.”

“I doubt our ‘Divine’ Level equipment will hold up against an actual Goddess.” Satoru thought.

Mare frowned. “Would most of my spells have even worked on her? Petite Disaster will have worked anyways but that costs so much mana, and if that doesn’t work then I am useless damage wise.”

“Will her body fluids have the Holy aspect to them?” Shalltear thought.

“Please don’t be as insane as the other three Heroes.” the Shield Cast pleaded.

“So that's why her ‘complaint’ was about water.” The Re zero cast thought.

“Unfortunately, you passed away moments ago.” Aqua continued. 

A lens flare-heavy blue cube rotated in place behind the nightstand as Aqua sat down. The camera looked at Kazuma from above Aqua’s head.

“Your life was a short one, but you are, in fact, dead.” Aqua said. 

Aqua had her best 'Customer Service’ Smile applied.

“Just one question…” Kazuma started. “What about the girl I pushed out of harm's way?”

“She’s alive.” Aqua said.

Kazuma breathed a sigh of relief and placed a hand against himself. “Thank goodness.”

Kazuma’s eyes glittered in tears of relief. “That means my death wasn’t in vain.”

Aqua tilted her head in confusion, either hearing Kazuma’s thoughts or guessing from her knowledge of humans. Aqua’s legs were shown as she uncrossed them, the pussy flash/pantyshot never manifesting.

“Actually, she never would have gotten hurt,” Aqua said. “Even if you had never pushed her out of the way.” The soft angelic choir stopped.

Kazuma jerked his head upwards to look at Aqua, the music cut as well. “Huh?”

Aqua opened the red book and read. “That tractor was going to stop before it hit her.”

Kazuma leaned forward. “Huh? Wait a second.”

Emilia frowned. “Does no good deed go unpunished in this theater?” Emilia shook her head. “Don’t be so pessimistic, just because she didn’t need saving doesn’t invalidate the feelings behind Kazuma’s actions. …like I did with Subaru.” 

Aqua curled into her recliner, cringing at what she did. Kazuma leaned over and fiddled with her hair, providing slight comfort for the both of them.

“She let out her actual personality and that’s why Kazuma took her down to my world, didn’t she?” Darkness and Megumin thought.

Aqua leaned closer, “What is it?”

Kazuma’s eyes vibrated as he struggled to comprehend. “[Tractor]?”

A loud rumble like Truck-kun going on an overpass played as a fade to white showed the scene that actually happened. A white and beige truck’s cargo trailer was shown in the distance. An old man in a wide brimmed khaki colored hat in gray and brown clothes, slowly driving his tractor.  The girl blissfully on her phone, confident that the old man knew what he was doing.

“Yes, it was a tractor.” Aqua narrated.

Another flash showed the old man and girl waving at each other.

Kazuma leaned even farther forward. “Huh? Then what happened? Did I die by getting plowed over by a tractor?”

“No, you died of shock.” Aqua explained.

“How did you die from surprise, when medical shock is just a faulty blood flow.” Tanya thought.

A camera shutter sound effect played as Kazuma was shown on the pavement. His eyes blank, mouth wide and drooling, arms flailed in imagined pain.

“You mistakenly thought a truck ran over you.” Aqua narrated.

Kazuma jerked back, impacting his chair. “I died of shock?!”

Aqua held a hand up to her lips as she held in her first laugh. She collapsed back into her chair, hands futilely gesturing Kazuma to stop. Only to give in and let out a belly-clenching laugh. A massive pure hearted grin on her face and her knees bouncing from the force of her laughter.

“Yep, there’s the Aqua we know.” Darkness and Megumin said, hanging their heads.

Ristarte let out a deep sigh. “Are Satoru and I the only good-hearted divinities in this room?”

Aqua curled tighter into her ball of shame, shuffling herself to avoid Naofumi’s glare.

“Her humbling has yet to take hold of her, perhaps we could have served that role.” Albedo and Demiurge thought.

“Ah, false gods.” the military records, save Tanya thought.

“Right, going to practice my anti-’divine’ techniques on her, then Weaver.” Tanya thought.

Kazuma's eyes almost rivaled his corpse’s eyes in how much they were dead inside and utterly appalled at Aqua.

“I’ve been doing this for a long time,” Aqua wiped away a tear of pure joy. “But you’re the first human to ever die in such a bizarre way.”

“Because it’s a physical impossibility.” Tanya said. “Medical Shock refers to blood not reaching vital organs. And while sleep deprivation is rarely fatal, the fatalities don’t manifest as that. 24 hours without sleep makes your hand eye coordination worse, impaired judgment and decision making, altered perception, and just because nature is a cruel mistress, tremors/spasms in your limbs!” Tanya glared at Kazuma. “So, by staying up that long, you actively got worse at the thing you were trying to do.”

“Oi, it seemed like it was a good idea at the time!” Kazuma defended his past self.

Ristarte frowned, remembering some stories of the medical field. “Yeah that's what they always say on why there is an eel or glass bottle up their ass.”

A beat that sounded like cards being shuffled played. Aqua bent over her armrest, closer to the red book and laughed into her hand some more.

“I’ve never even met this girl before. What’s her deal?” Kazuma the neet blissfully unaware of Customer Service Jobs.

Kazuma hunched into himself out of sheer anger. 

The old man, his presumed wife, and several police looking EMTs were looking at Kazuma’s passed out figure. His wet spot in the center of the camera’s view.

“You were so terrified that you’d be run over, you wet yourself.” Aqua explained through further laughter.

The hospital was shown with Kazuma’s ambulance in the drop off zone. 

“You passed out and were taken to a nearby hospital,” Aqua said. 

Four heads were barely visible through the fifth overhead light. The doctor in the upper left had a hand in front of their face, eyes closed like they were coughing. The nurse in the bottom left was doing the same at a different angle. The doctor in the bottom right was adjusting their glasses. The nurse in the upper right was the only one showing proper human compassion as demanded by their profession.

“And the doctors and nurses laughed at you as you had a heart attack-” Aqua said.

“You could have just said heart attack and medical malpractice.” Satoru suggested, rubbing his temples.

“And medical shock would just be a symptom of the heart attack, I suppose.” Beatrice said, also rubbing her temples.

Kazuma leaned fully back in his chair, covering his ears and futilely trying to kick away the bad news. “Stop! I don’t wanna hear it!”

Aqua got up and walked over as Kazuma repeated himself as futilely tried to shake the words out of his head. Aqua’s face slid next to Kazuma’s, hand held up to provide a conspiratorial shield. “Your family just rushed to the hospital, and now even they’re laughing out loud at the cause of death.”

“Oi.” Puck, the resident bad father, proclaimed his displeasure.

Megumin and Darkness, both being an older sister/cousin, frowned. Aqua curled even deeper into her ball of shame. Naofumi snapped his glare towards the screen.

“The hell!” Naofumi thought.

“Oi.” Albedo, the resident bad mother, proclaimed her displeasure. “Leave stuff for me to do.”

Ainz, the parent with no disciplinary bone in his body, merely breathed a deep sigh of disappointment into his hands. “This right here is what I am trying to avoid with my tomb.”

The rest of the room merely sat in disgusted silence.

Kazuma became a bobblehead out of sheer not wanting to know. “Stop! Stop!”

“Well…” Aqua flicked her hair and her Hagamoro dissolved into bubbles. “I’ve vented enough stress for now.”

Kazuma made a teary eyed angry face. “Damn her!”

The music started tinkling and the soft choir resumed. 

“My name is Aqua.” the goddess finally introduced herself. “I’m a goddess who guides humans who die young to the afterlife.”

Kazuma attentively listened but was still marred by her asshole tendencies.

“You have two choices.” Aqua explained. “You can start from square one with a new life, or you can go to heaven and carry on like an old man.” Aqua’s boobs bounced as she bent over and raised her conspiratorial hand shield once more. “To tell you the truth, Heaven isn’t the dreamy place you all imagine it to be.” She said shyly looking around like she would be punished for speaking out.

“Huh?” Kazuma asked around Aqua’s pantyless booty.

“Not only is there no TV, there are no manga or games, either.” Aqua explained. “You don’t even have a physical body,” the camera left the booty shot to focus on Aqua’s mouth. “So you can’t do anything sexual, either.”

Kazuma, being a sexual person, had his face scarred with shock and disappointment, maybe even a hint of despair. The camera also felt despair and reverted to the previous booty angle.

“There’s nothing to do there but bask in the sun for all of eternity.” Aqua explained.

“What?” Kazuma voiced his displeasure.

Aqua got up in Kazuma’s face and did a miniature nod. “Yeah, you don’t want to go to a boring place like Heaven, do you?”

Kazuma, having fully converted into a neet and having his personal space breached, looked away and blushed. “Uh, right…”

Aqua got even closer to Kazuma’s face, providing ship fuel. “On the other hand, starting over from square one isn’t so fun, either.” Now their noses were roughly a centimeter apart. “On that note, I’ve got a great offer for you.” Aqua leaned back slightly, “You like games, don’t you?”

“Huh?” The sheer confusing mess that was Aqua made Kazuma forget about the Isekai Craze.

Aqua stood up to her full height, placed a hand over her heart, and stretched out her other arm to the max. Dramatic/talk show piano music played.

“That world, which has long enjoyed peace,” Kazuma raised an eyebrow at Aqua’s display.

Megumin and Darkness snorted.

“That was true roughly 700 years ago.” Megumin explained to the room. “Before our current Demon King was born and gained access to the Demon King Class.”

“Ah, so not a single terrible dynasty.” Zettour said, sighing as he comprehended the problem.

Megumin nodded. “Indeed the previous dynasty was founded by a fallen hero, so it's not even limited to the infernal races.”

The others winced as containment before neutralization just got harder.

“Would Flugel’s bones be able to contain the class, like they could for the Sloth Authority?” Beatrice thought to herself. “Or another world’s Flugel?”

“And why hasn’t that world experienced an industrial revolution and thus have easy access to an equalizer such as guns?” Ristarte smiled with sharp edges. “It's not because of your Heaven suppressing the knowledge needed for that, is it?”

Aqua turned to her with a supremely offended face. “The Mobile Fortress Destroyer pushed back the tech level. So there was an era of post industrialization, but sadly the Destroyer is one of, if not the only, piece of tech that still exists from that era.”

“So yes, you did by proxy.” the rest of the room thought.

“Wouldn’t there be a non-magical damage limit?” Shalltear asked, finger on her chin.

Shalltear’s lamprey form was shown riddled with arrows and various other weaponry, but was undamaged.“Oh, fuck you!” Visha said. “Why do you follow that logic?”

“Do it yourself, you coward.” Shalltear smugly replied while looking into Visha’s eyes.

“Eh, the Demon King does have a version of that, but it's weaker and we don’t have a convenient way of mass producing explosives.” Darkness said looking down to her left hip remembering her father’s lessons. 

“Hm, would Dynamite and/or Napalm work on him?” Satoru asked, the nagging concern of technology outpacing magic reared its head.

“I think so, but again no way to manufacture those in sufficient quantities.” Aqua frowned and crossed her arms as she remembered her metaphysic lessons.

“As for the logic I was talking about, it means she can only be harmed by sufficiently magical things like silver or healing potions.” Vishia explained.

Use guns to explain the Skill Floor and Great Filter ideas. Tanya wrote in her notebook.

“Is being threatened by the Demon King’s Army.” Aqua continued. 

The camera zoomed into Aqua’s face, tilted upwards to give an imperialist/gracious air to Aqua. “The livelihoods its citizens have worked for are being trampled by monsters.”

Aqua pivoted in place, moving her arms and putting on a despairing air. With a click an angelic stage light turned on and bathed Aqua in its glow, who was praising the sun with her arms in an upwards Y. “Everyone lives in fear of the Demon King’s Army’s merciless pillage and slaughter!”

Aqua’s hair jiggled and mimicked a dog’s tail wagging. “...Slaughter!

Kazuma gulped in nervousness. Aqua held her pose and smiled for another few seconds before dropping them to lean closer to Kazuma once more.

“Since that’s the sort of world it is, everyone is refusing to be reborn, so the population is declining because of infertility.” Aqua explained.

“If you can not grow new souls in mass. My world has literal piles of dead orphans that I had to go past to get to work. And said piles were new every week, if not every day.” Satoru wrote in his notebook to remind himself to offer Aqua.

“I see…” Kazuma lied about his comprehension.

Aqua had a cute angle pose before turning sideways and shrugging. “So we decided, [Why not send people who’ve died in other worlds with their bodies and memories intact?]-”

“That’s resurrection, not reincarnation.” Tanya was visibly trying to control her anger.

Aqua looked Tanya in the eyes and merely said, “Zen Buddhism.”

Tanya’s argument hitched and collapsed out of existence, causing a physical hiccup.

“Zen Buddhism is the second major religion of Japan and was primarily worshiped by the Samurai. It had a cycle of reincarnation, as in reborn in an infant body after dying, that you progressed in called Samsara. After so many lives full of dedication, you were supposed to reach Nirvana, Buddhism’s version of Aqua’s Heaven. But in Samsara you grow stronger with each life judged by how much you have achieved enlightenment.” Subaru explained once he realized that Tanya wouldn’t.

“Ah, so that's why you praised their timing. The Buddha is that religion’s god?” Ram asked, remembering his praise of the Buddha as she slipped into slumber when they were retrieving her foolish twin.

“Eh, yes and no, because if you reach sufficient enlightenment you can become your own Buddha and/or fuse with the Original Buddha.” Subaru explained, wiggling his left hand. “That and everything and everyone including the Buddha are all illusions, thus you want to break free by embracing nothingness and being true to yourself. At least that was in Zen Buddhism, in more Orthodox/the Original Denomination of Buddhism, Nirvana was simply the best afterlife (which functioned as rest stops in the cycle of reincarnation) that you could unlock.”

Ram slowly rubbed her temples. “If everything is an illusion, then nothing is.”

“Mostly it’s an existentialism thing but over all, Zen buddhism making sense died with the samurai at Shiroshima.” Tanya shrugged. “As for why I know the difference now, resurrection is one of the main tenets of Christianity, whose focal point of worship is Europe.”

“Ah, the wonders of sectoral differences.” Lergen said.

Ram and Cocytus scribbled in: Buddhism and it’s sects.

“What’s the point in sending me there if I’m just going to be killed?” Kazuma asked, visibly unsure.

“That’s why I’m doing you a big favor.” Aqua said from off screen.

A soft beat played as Aqua was shown once more with a hand gently raised. 

“I’m granting you the right to bring any one thing of your choosing with you.” Aqua doomed herself to roughly a year and a half of struggle. Aqua crossed her arms and winked. “It could be a powerful weapon, or a tremendous talent.”

The two of them were shown from Kazuma’s book of the dead’s perspective.

“You’ll be able to redo your life with all your original memories.” Aqua said, raising her opposite hand and bobbling slightly towards Kazuma. “To top it off, you can bring one thing of your choosing!”

The camera slightly zoomed in as the world connecting portal swirled open behind Kazuma. 

“And the people of the parallel will earn someone battle-ready to help them.” Aqua said. “Not a bad deal, don’t you think?”

Crystalline chimes played as Kazuma closed his hands.

“Um, I want to ask something.” Kazuma said. 

Aqua was shown in a neutral but attentive pose.

“Will I be able to speak this other world’s language?” Kazuma asked.

A kazoo-like thing or synth something played as Aqua pulled up a booklet out of thin air.

“That won’t be an issue.” Aqua said.

We were shown the insides of the book, specifically a page titled Parallel World Reincarnation Guide and Contract. With the subtitle being: The First Ever Parallel World Guide! (For Shut-ins). Unhelpfully the book was mostly untranslated. Though there was an infographic of a soul either going to Heaven or becoming a hero after being run over.

Tanya sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Kazuma was shown hesitantly reading the book with Aqua guiding his vision. Aqua’s eyes were cut off by the letterboxing,  putting her in a sultry and sinister light.

“With the kind support of us gods,” Aqua said. “We’ll overload your brain so you’ll be able to learn it instantly.”

Kazuma’s eyes widened as he heard that and found the fine print section. Said fine print being: Caution! Because the process of installing the ability to speak the parallel world’s language into the one who wishes to be reincarnated there (henceforth referred to as “Reincarnated”) requires instantaneous overloading of the hippocampus and cerebral cortex (henceforth referred to as “Brain”), Reincarnated’s Brain may, in rare cases, lose certain faculties (go “p**f”). Should this occur, according to Article 1296 Clauses 2 and 5 and Article 2051 Clause 3, Reincarnated may not hold those responsible for his reincarnation accountable.

The room just stared at Aqua.

“We do heal the injured.” Aqua defended herself, curling up slightly.

“Sheesh, I thought my Unified Divine Realm had the legalese.” Ristarte muttered.

“Why not an auto-translation effect?” Satoru asked with a finger raised.

“We do not have a god of languages.” Aqua said. “It was either this or having the Reincarnated unable to communicate at all. Unless we went with the actual reincarnation thing, but then the primary objective of the battle-ready unit is completely negated.”

Satoru sighed and lowered his finger.

“Teacher, what was the plan if Subaru couldn’t speak our language?” Roswaal thought, smiled sharp and eyes closed.

“As a side effect,” Aqua said as she used a hand to cover the fine print. “You might just go “poof” if you’re unlucky though.”

Tanya glared at Aqua. “I can see why your superiors kicked you out of Heaven.”

Kazuma was glaring at the fine print through Aqua’s hands.

“So all that leaves you to do is to choose a powerful ability or piece of equipment.” Aqua’s Customer Service Smile was back in full force. 

Kazuma dragged his glare to meet Aqua’s closed eyes as the instrument stopped. “I just heard you mention something really serious. What do you mean, [poof]?”

Audio-visual sparkles radiated from Aqua’s Customer Service Smile. “I never said that.”

“Yes, you did.” Kazuma said as the sparkles faded.

Trumpets played as Aqua twirled in the air with a stupid amount of sparkles forming wings.

“Now, choose!” Aqua commanded as she bent over backwards.

Sheets of paper fell down around her. A sword with stony protrusions from its back edge was shown on a descriptive pamphlet, two shadowy-swords show that it was a weapon-type gift. The name of the sword was untranslated and its description was too small to read.

“I’ll grant you one power that is second to none!” Aqua said with the stone sword covering her shoulder.

A lizard-like beast flew in front of Aqua’s face, the ambient sparkles made the lizard appear to have glowing eyes. A different curved sword with a dragonic (?) head and sharp rocky scales served as the transition. Both of which were on pamphlets.

Kazuma looked around at the options he had on his hands and knees.

“Ah, good ol’ decision paralysis.” Satoru nodded in commencernation. 

“This is my gamer’s intuition talking,” Kazuma thought. “But all of the abilities and equipment here are totally broken!”

“They do not look like they are unusable.” Emilia asked with her head tilted.

“Broken in this instance of gaming terms, means something ‘unfairly’ powerful.” Kazuma said, with his right index finger raised. “Some examples are: DND Divine Spellcasters being able to swap all of their known spells to any other spell their Patron knows with a 6-8 hour sleep. Thus they can adapt to any type of enemy and environment. Another is putting a ranged character who uses her allies HP pool count in her line to deal direct damage to the enemy player behind a melee character who deals Area of Effect Damage on attack, gains an additional attack per turn, and increases his max hp pool per enemy he kills.”

The room hummed.

“So Reinhard.” The Re zero cast except Subaru thought.

“Well, it’s a good thing and a shame that our Divine Spellcasters can’t do that.” The Overlord Cast thought.

Soft chimes played as Kazuma picked up one sheet and gazed at another.

“If I’m going to a world where magic exists, I absolutely have to try it out!” Kazuma thought. 

Kazuma picked up the second sheet and started comparing them. 

Satoru opened his mental mouth to ask about the details-

Aqua’s seductive lips tore a potato chip in half, the camera zoomed out from the vore-fuel to show Aqua completely bored.

“Hey, hurry it up.” Aqua said with half of the broken chip wiggling.

Soft percussion instruments played, giving a jovial country music vibe

“Allow him time to formulate his thoughts.” Satoru said, rubbing the bridge of his absent nose.

“No matter what you pick, it’s all the same.” Aqua said. “Nobody’s expecting much from a shut-in game otaku anyways.”

Kazuma squeaked/squealed like a more feral ape. “I-I’m not an otaku!”

Kazuma tossed the papers away, bowing down to his hands and knees. “And I died after leaving my house, so I’m not a shut-in, either!”

Repeating his movement several times, blowing away some of the papers.

Aqua licked her fingers, getting any non-visible chip dust off. Aqua looked completely bone tired as she played with her hair using only her index finger.

“None of that matters. Just hurry it up.” Aqua said. “I’ve still got lots more deceased humans to guide, you know.”

“And this is why you have more than one Judge of the Dead.” Ristarte said, rubbing her head. “Either that or time dilation and/or super speed.”

“For reference, on earth alone 106 humans die per minute and 6,392 per hour.” Aqua said. “While I am only in charge of Japan’s region and even then only their NEETs, that still is an unacceptable delay to my bosses. That is with the time dilation already applied.”

The room hummed.

“Damn her!” Kazuma thought.

Aqua still looked distinctly unimpressed. Kazuma meanwhile had sweat pooling on his face and wrinkles on the bridge of his nose.

“Getting all cocky just because she’s a little bit cute…” Kazuma thought.

Aqua merely had a smug smile at the confirmation of her thoughts.

Kazuma on his fists and knees sounded like a gorilla as he breathed heavily, overpowering the faint chimes. His eyes were shadowed as he plotted.

“[Hurry up and decide], huh?” Kazuma asked. “I’ll do just that, then.”

Kazuma stood up. “Pick one thing to bring to this parallel world, right?”

Kazuma stumbled under the weight of what he was about to do.

Aqua, slightly interested in where he was going, paused her eating of the chips. “That’s right.”

Before eating the chip in her hand anyways.

Kazuma’s hand was shown, the end of the track suit bright against the dramatically black room. It pointed straight forward.

“Okay, I pick you.” Kazuma said.

“Okay, In hindsight I should have seen that coming.” Aqua said.

Shalltear giggled, causing a slight ripple across the room.

“I mean my Heaven gave out monster summoning abilities before, so why not an entire goddess?” Aqua shrugged. “Especially one that was insulting to a sleep deprived and delirious boy.”

Aqua blinked, utterly adorable with the potato chip in her mouth. And utterly not comprehending what Kazuma said. The chimes returned as Aqua pushed in the chip and chewed. A loud horn played as the portal manifested beneath Kazuma’s feet. Aqua kicked her feet as she stood up.

“All right, stand there and don’t leave the magic circle-” Aqua was mostly out of her chair. 

“What did you just say?” Aqua’s eyes widened.

The sound of an offscreen door opening echoed through the weird chime-heavy limbo. Aqua looked up to the forming magic circle above her. An Angel Woman descended out of the summoning circle. Flaunting her curves and a soft twinkling melody played.

“Where’s the metal?” Shalltear asked. “Angels should be metallic, except Victim.”

“Ah.” Zettour said, hand in palm. “They split the difference.”

On the left side were the biblical angels in all their eldritch beauty. On the right were the pretty boys and girls of the renaissance era, most of them had pastel colored wings in the stained glass depictions. Though notably on the bottom ring of the left side were normal human looking angels. The bottom was pushed up to reveal Yggdrasil’s Angels.

Kazuma coughed at the sight of the ‘biblically’ accurate angels. “Wait, Kirby, Bayonetta, Final Fantasy 7,and Neon Genesis Evangelion are accurate?! I thought NGE was just the stylization of Christianity spread like butter on toast over aliens.”

The non-Military Records crew just sat there for a few seconds comprehending Yahweh’s Angels.

“Yep, that’s definitely splitting the difference.” Filo said, nodding with a closed eye smile.

“So, if one wants to use angels, they would have to try really hard not to lean on Abrahamic Literature.” Demiurge said, his tail curled around his waist and its tip twitched in his lap.

Zettour nodded.

“Ah, this is where you tell the ‘Heroes’ about the Demon King’s Aura thing.” Kazuma said, left hand holding his forehead.

Aqua nodded.

Kazuma rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“We have heard your request.” Said the angel with wings at full spread and golden sparks falling in a shower around her. “I shall take over your job from here on out, Aqua-sama.”

“She’ll do a better job than you, not insulting the faux-customer.” Tanya said. [0]

Kazuma joined the chorus of Oohs as the golden shower faded.

“Huh?” Aqua adorably squeaked.

Another Isekai Magic Circle blossomed underneath Aqua. 

“Satou Kazuma-san’s Wish complies with the regulations and has been accepted.” the Angel landed.

The magic circles spun, flared into blue light and made energy tunnels leading upwards. 

Aqua glanced down at the circle. “Hey, what is this? Wh-What? You’ve got to be kidding.”

Kazuma looked at Aqua.

Aqua closed her eyes and tried to wave away the magic circle. “No, no, no! Come on, um…”

“This is not right!” Aqua threw her arms back, lost her pupils, and did the second instance of Aqua crying meme. “Taking a goddess with you is against the rules!”

Aqua pressed against the magic, squishing like a sea creature in an aquarium’s glass wall. 

“It must be illegal!” Aqua pressed her face against the magic-glass. “This has to be illegal!”

“Oh, come on. It’s only the human world, you’ll be fine.” Naofumi said, eyes rolled before they settled into a glare.

Subaru and Shalltear coughed.

“You should be fine.” Naofumi corrected himself.

“Wait!” Aqua banged on the magic. “Wait!”

“Please have a safe trip, Aqua-sama.” The angel said. “Should you successfully defeat the Demon King, I will send someone to pick you up.”The angel smiled with her eyes closed. Aqua, with her eyes back to normal, dropped her hands to her hips.

“I may have the ability to heal since I'm a goddess,” Aqua said, placing her hands on her chest. “But I have no fighting ability to speak of! There’s no way I can beat the Demon King!”

Aqua gripped her head in exasperation before she was lifted off her feet.

“Hey, wait!” Aqua cried out as she looked to the ground growing distant. 

Kazuma chuckled over Aqua’s booty.

“How does it feel to get dragged away with the guy you treated like a total idiot?” Kazuma asked.

Kazuma with his hair in hentai protag mode chucked once more. His hair parted to reveal one eye as he pointed at Aqua.

“You’ve been designated as the one thing I’ll be bringing along,” Kazuma said, hands moving into a megalovania posture. “So if you’re a goddess, use your godly powers or whatever to make my life as easy as possible!”

“You know, a lot of things make sense if you are following what Kazuma asked of you, however subconsciously.” Darkness rubbed her chin.

Aqua, Kazuma, and Megumin raised an objection finger before going over their memories and hung their heads.

“No!” Aqua cried and hugged herself. “I don’t want to go to a parallel world with a man like this!”

Aqua cried once more causing Kazuma to laugh in mock-sadistic glee. The angel’s wings extended, casting off cosmetic feathers.

“Brave hero, I pray that of the great many prospective heroes,” the angel said with extended arms and her feathers falling down around her. “You will be the one to defeat the demon king.”

The angel’s skirt flapped in the wind, revealing that she too had no panties. Nor genitalia, if she did it was hidden by a light beam.

“If you do so, we shall grant any wish you desire as a gift from the gods.” the angel revealed.

“Whoa, for real?!” Kazuma jerked in his beam.

“Wow, an actual reward.” Naofumi smirked. “How lucky for you.”

“We. Are. Not. Parasites!” Aqua wiggled in her seat. “We’re symbiotes, close yes. But not the same.”

Aqua leaned forward enough that her head completely obscured Kazuma.

“That’s my line!” Aqua cried.

“Now, go forth on your journey!” The angel ignored her superior.

The blackness at the end of the tunnel instantly shattered into blue squares, blue and green circles, and a white light at the center. The angelic choir resumed as Kazuma laughed as he was vacuumed into the light. Aqua’s despair-ridden face flew in from behind the camera.

“No!” Aqua shouted. 

Which caused Kazuma to sadistically laugh again. Everything dissolved into a screen of white before the blue sky and fluffy clouds were shown. One of the Angel’s feathers floated down from the sky. Said feather gently landed on a shallow stream of water, which caused small ripples above the pebbles on the crook’s bottom. Horns played as the camera zoomed out to show a woman in a purple witch/wizard outfit and a green shirted man crossing a cobblestone bridge.

By the bridge was a low-detailed fisherman whose line glinted in the sunlight. A man’s laughter echoed from somewhere as the camera changed to a wagon pulling away. Which revealed Kazuma and Aqua fully intact and mature. Aqua hung her head and hands in front of her thighs. Kazuma stood beside her in a confident but neutral pose with his fists on either side of his hips.

Belzerg: Axel, The Town of Beginners, appeared before them in a blue text box above their heads. With a bit-style sound effect chime and a swirling symbol around the Otherworld’s characters for Axel.

Tanya narrowed her eyes. “Hm, depending on how you write that. The name Belzerg could be read as Berserk.”

“We are not backwards hillbillies!” Darkness reflexly defended her nation. “We are basically the only reason why the world hasn’t been conquered yet, especially because we are the only nation whose borders are touching the Demon King’s borders. Our two Great Noble Houses have been assimilating power for countless Demon Kings, if they only manage to kill Generals and not the Demon King themselves. The Dustines Family assimilated the defensive abilities and the Sinfonia Family assimilated the offensive abilities. Thus they are called the House of the Shield and the House of the Sword respectively.”

“Ah, so their version of the Slane Theocracy is actually doing their jobs.” The Overlord cast thought. “Lucky for that humanity.”

“Thus, if I am following your logic correctly, then those who actually slay a Demon King are assimilated into the Royal Family.” Filo said. “They were the ones you were talking about during the power level discussion.”

Darkness nodded. “That and I can’t hit anything, so I can’t ‘grind’ for Kazuma.”

“Hm, I guess I should count Jaldbaoth lucky that Rampossa didn’t have the Belzerg-style of strength,” Demiurge thought. “What is a demon to a king? Especially considering there is a precedent with the Legemon. I might have needed to break out my true strength, or just have one of my Evil Lords take place in the physical battles.”

“So not hyperbole of the Warmaster,” Seiya thought. “How lucky for that world, to not have only one hero capable of saving them.”

“I might actually respect Trash if he could ‘put me in my place’, but that chance has passed.” Naofumi thought. “Especially if he doesn’t use that strength against the Waves.”

Kazuma blinked when Darkness nodded and turned to Aqua with a sharp smile. “I pulled you down before you could say that, I'm guessing?”

The town’s background muttering resumed, as we zoomed into Kazuma’s face. Who took a deep breath and blinked, before the camera turned to show a street.

“It’s a parallel world.” Kazuma narrated.

A girl in a sun hat and red dress was shown chasing two ducks/white birds past two gossiping women and two men bargaining over fruit prices.

“Wait, you have children?” Satoru asked.

“Yes, hence why it's difficult to motivate the others into fighting the Demon King.” Aqua said, hands folded in her lap. “If the Demon King projected a massive field where kids aren’t born at all, It would make my job stupidly harder yet paradoxically extremely easy.”

“Well, I’m glad that the demon king can’t do that.” The rest of the room generally thought. “Nor is he just removing the reproductive organs all together.”

“Hey, this really is a parallel world!” Kazuma continued to narrate over the girl’s misfortune.

The two pairs of adults turned their heads as the girl and her birds exited stage right. A blacksmith, his wife, and two kids who were playing a game with a stick were shown. Two women close to a barn and thus fuzzy were in the background chatting.

“W-Wait, I’m really going to be using magic.” Kazuma said.

A group of adventurers appeared, at the very left was a dark elf man dressed with armored plates and a green tunic. Next to him was a human woman in a black/beige horned helmet, beige pauldrons and boobplate. With a red and white leotard, her sleeves were black with red gloves and elbow bands. Which held beige arm plates over her elbows. Her legs were the same, save for the fact that her legging only came up to her mid thighs.

A huge sword hung off her hip, which was underneath the woman’s extended hand. The wizard in purple robes and a black bodysuit with a navel window stood next to her. Their blue-tinted white hair was underneath a purple hat. The wizard’s tiny glasses did not prevent the wizard’s obvious attention from showing. Behind the wizard was a man who similarly exposed his guts with a black and red jacket. A thick brown belt with a red and gray loin cloth over green paths completed his ensemble.

A pair of two adventures had passed in front of the five, with the second woman in red obscuring a woman in green. The red thief-like woman left revealing that the green woman had brown hair and wore a two-tone purple bodysuit.

“Why is there an Elf?” Megumin asked. “Axel hasn’t had one in decades, mostly because the Elves and other such races have their own training spots. Hence why they just skip to the front lines.”

“If they even send help at all.” Aqua, Darkness, and Megumin thought. [1]

“Elves are basically a synonym for fantasy back on earth.” Kazuma said. “Same with Dwarves, Dragons, Demons, Angels, Gods, and Giants.”

The others hummed.

“And going on adventures in this world from now on?” Kazuma asked himself, smiling in glee.

Cheerful notes played over Aqua’s gasping.

“Goodbye, shut-in life!” Kazuma assumed an assertive stance. 

“So what happened to not being a hermit?” Beatrice asked. “Or was that just a deflective denial, I suppose?”

Kazuma hung his head. “It was the latter.”

“Hello, new world!” Kazuma praised the sun for a brief moment.

Kazuma let his arms down before raising his right fist in a confident stance. “I can really start anew in this world!”

Aqua gasped before she weeped as she rubbed her head with both of her hands. Kazuma glared at her out of the corner of his eyes. He turned his head to properly stare at her in dismay.

“Hey, shut up.” Kazuma demanded.

Carnival-like notes played as Aqua clawed at her bangs that hung in front of her face.

“What am I going to do if everyone thinks I’m friends with a crazy woman?” Kazuma asked.

“More importantly, isn’t there something you’re supposed to give me at a time like this?” Kazuma asked.

“I do believe the opportunity to gain items has passed.” Satoru said, sarcasm audible.

The others nodded as Kazuma blushed.

Kazuma raised his hands to point at himself, a smug smile on his face. Aqua’s weeps had faded into near inaudibility. 

“Look at what I'm wearing. I’m in a tracksuit.” Kazuma complained.

Kazuma pointed his hands to the sides, closed his eyes, and still had the smug smile.

“Here I am in a fantasy world, and all I have is a single tracksuit.” Kazuma complained.

“And a literal goddess.” Subaru said.

Kazuma’s blush intensified as he sank into his chair.

Kazuma opened his eyes and let his hands fall down to his hips.

“Isn’t there a bare minimum of starter equipment I should-” Kazuma was interrupted by Aqua grabbing his collar.

Kazuma, for a single frame, had his eyes shrink as Aqua shook the annoying boy. The camera however chose to focus on Aqua’s weeping face, her open mouth had a cute flesh fang. Aqua, and by extension the offscreen Kazuma, rocked back and forth for a few seconds. Then with a bit-like sound effect a pause screen appeared over Aqua’s face. Underneath the giant English letters of PAUSE bracketed by hyphens, was a smaller English sentence of Press Start Button.

This pause screen continued for a few seconds as even the music stopped.

“Ah, I wish I could just do that and take a few moments to gather my thoughts.” Subaru thought.

A different bit-type note played as the video resumed with Aqua breathing in. The two of them were shown between a mother with her son and a man looking at the last two people to be Isekai’d from Aqua’s Heaven.

“Wh-What the heck?! Stop! Stop it!” Kazuma pleaded with Aqua.

The mother turned around with a face of dismay as she pulled her shocked son away from the first feud of the pseudo-couple.

“I get it, okay?! I’m sorry!” Kazuma said.

Kazuma placed his hands on Aqua’s shoulders, which stopped her from rocking his world any further. …for now.

“If you hate it that much, then you can go home.” Kazuma said.

Kazuma pushed the goddess away, hung his left arm behind his hip, and readjusted his collar with his right arm.

“I’ll figure out the rest on my own.” Kazuma said.

“What are you talking about?” Aqua threw her arms back, causing her to adopt an arrow-like pose. “I’m in trouble because I can’t go back.”

Aqua folded her hands in front of her chest. “What do I do? Huh? What am I gonna do?”

“If you can’t go back because you are currently classified as [Kazuma’s Item], then the most logical course of action is securing money.” Zettour said. “Healing is, was, and will continue to be a dependable source of income for those capable. Construction is also a thing, so too with mercenary work.”

“We went with construction.” Aqua answered.

The others hummed

Aqua’s hands fell to her sides as she wept once more.

“What am I supposed to do from now on?” The Goddess of Tears cried.

Kazuma’s low detailed and nonchalant look was wasted on the crying goddess. With a speed streak-like sound effect Kazuma raised a hand to gain Aqua’s attention.

“Hey, calm down, Goddess.” Kazuma commanded as he lowered his hand once more. “Times like these call for guilds.”

Kazuma placed a hand on his chin. “Going to places like that to gather intel is what you do in RPGs.”

Aqua leaned back in subdued surprise as Kazuma pronounced the entire words of the RPG acronym.

“Huh? You’re supposed to be some game otaku shut-in.” Aqua asked. “Why are you so reliable?”

“Someone has to pick up your slack.” Puck said.

Aqua joined her pseudo-spouse in the blush and chair sinkage departments.

Kazuma ignored her comments as he turned away.

“All right! Let’s go, Goddess.” Kazuma said.

“Hey, wait.” Aqua’s train of thought had drowned already.

An electric string instrument played as Aqua’s ass overtook the camera once more.

“Why this camera angle again?” Albedo asked, fists slightly curled.

“This is my role, not yours!” Albedo thought.

“I am the closest thing my pantheon has to a Romantic Love Goddess, and as you can heard by the declining birthrate problem, I am a terrible one.” Aqua said. “Can’t even be a proper Lust/Fertility Goddess.”

Aqua scribbled into her notebook: Teach Subaru Escape Artistry, Parkour, and Breakdancing.

“I really hope that the sexual stuff gets toned down in the next episodes.” The protags except Kazuma thought.

“You can call me “Goddess” if you like,” Aqua narrated over her hipsway. “But when you can, call me “Aqua”, so we don’t cause a commotion.”

“I have the slightest suspicion that being undetected has already passed.” Shalltear said with lidded eyes.

“I get it.” Kazuma said, the camera changed to the back of his head. “If you’re a goddess, wouldn’t you know where we can find an adventurer’s guild.”

Aqua blinked as Kazuma turned his head to stare her in the eyes.

“I’m a goddess.” Aqua said. “There’s no way I’d know about every little lowly place like that.”

Aqua blushed. 

Aqua leaned her head, which caused her hair to wiggle as she saw Kazuma’s disappointed and disgusted face. 

“This girl’s useless.” Kazuma thought.

“Useless as in actually useless, or uselessly like Subaru?” Ram asked with lidded eyes and crossed arms.

Kazuma, Darkness, and Megumin raised a finger and opened their mouths to defend their viewpoint. Before they closed their mouths and lowered their fingers as they remembered how Aqua played her parts.

“Useless like Subaru.” Aqua answered for them.

Ram saw Subaru blush and tried to fold into himself. However he was stopped by Emilia, what caught the passive half of the Oni God’s attention was the faint glimmer of disbelief.

“Do I never compliment him at all?” Ram thought. “Not even backhanded ones?”

Ram hid her glance to her aggressive twin.

“I really hope that he never committed self harm, or far worse suicide, from my barbs.  Ram clutched her elbows. “They would be the final coin in the pouch if my little sister actually followed through on her impulses.”

Ram took a quiet breath through her nose. “No, Subaru said that he was only questioned by Rem. So, she must have restrained herself. It's a waste of energy and time to ponder such depressing possibilities that never would and/or did happen. He does not act like he is, or ever was, afraid of us. …which her impulses would definitely make him.”

The screen shifted to show Axel from above. Right above the town was a large forest, where the Tranquility Queen resides. Smaller sections of woodland surrounded the town, only broken up by green fields. The light brown rooftops that formed human civilization had claimed 97% of the protected lands inside the massive wall. A few bits of the remaining kand were fields or lawns, most of the rest were small pockets of trees. But the largest non-human feature of the town was the river that curved in the middle, which formed a spoon or a bowl.

“Thank you for your business.” a merchant said while he handed a large slab of meat to a mother.

The mother’s youngest was safely strapped to her back and blissfully asleep. She had four other kinds besides her of indeterminate age. The second youngest, and the closest to the mother’s purple-like skirt was a girl with her hair tied into twin tails. The presumed third youngest had a green shirt on and an index finger on his lower lip, eyes firmly glued to the Capital A Anime Stick of Meat.

The child with the largest head merely had eyes for their mother. While the child right in front of the vase, which was presumably for water storage, had his arms behind his head. A purple scarf/collar over his cyan shirt. This boy’s eyes merely had attention for his youngest sibling or the comically small shopping basket his mother had.

“No, you’re not going to derail this by going into how purple dye was so expensive that it became a synonym for royalty.” Tanya thought as she rubbed her temples. “Nor will you do the same for the other dyes that should have been impossible for that era’s tech level. Excluding magic. What’s next, this world’s female underwear industry has access to modern elastics and/or a substitute, thus the girls would be wearing stuff that is closer to 20th and 21st century panties than the historically accurate Braies which were more like shorts that fell down to the mid thigh.” 

Megumin crossed her legs as she felt a phantom draft.

“Thank you.” The mother said as she smacked her infant with the Stick of Meat. “Up we go…”

The infant thankfully was too asleep to cry out in shock or pain.

Kazuma and Aqua appeared before a large building, which had an announcement tower in the back. Above the front door sat a bird-like symbol. On their left was a green pillar and on their right was a purple pillar. Behind them were more merchant stalls and their customers. Another 8-bit style ding played as a brown bar extended itself across the screen, above it stood the label Adventurer’s guild.

From the perspective of the door, both the human and goddess had silly looking faces.

“Looks like this is the place.” Kazuma said.

Something went bang the camera which startled a hiccup out of Aqua. 

“Scary!” Aqua said as they climbed the stairs.

The door swung open off screen as the camera decided to show the …emblem of Belzerg (or the Adventurer's guild) over the doorway, at a tilt. Either way, the upper part of the emblem had a bird with its wings fully unfurled, two V sections connected the wings to the main body of the bird. Which fanned out to an upside-down omega symbol for the tail.

“Welcome!” A blonde barmaid said as she twirled towards the door with 4 fuzzy Nereoid Drinks in her hand. “If you’re here to eat, please take any open seat.”

The camera showed Kazuma and Aqua unprepared for the level of prep in the barmaid’s voice.

“If you need job guidance, head to the counter inside.” the barmaid continued reading off her mental script.

The barmaid turned and walked off the right side of the screen. Aqua merely stared at the bubbly while Kazuma raised his hand.

“Thank you.” Kazuma obligately followed his own mental script for social interaction at a public place. 

The camera turned to see …indoor lamp posts. A sign or plinth that had no writing at all but three pink circles, eight yellow pyramids arranged into two pyramid shapes, and two pink dots in two pyramid shapes. 

Two men in dark colored clothing tapped their drinks together, their tablemate hunched over his food. Seems like they had some sort of bird, while the bearded yet bald man had the addition of cake. A red haired barmaid carried more food past the three men. Behind the drinks was an oak-like load-bearing pillar with dark red and dark green ribbons wrapped around it. The original barmaid walked past the table in her pinkish heels.

She stepped aside to reveal a man in plate armor looking up at a woman in a sports bra and battle panties. More potted plants broke up the monotony of the tavern.

Tanya mentally groaned at the sight of the battle panties and the elastic industry that it eluded to.

On one of the ribbon clad support pillars hung a dragon(?)’s skeleton. Around a horizontal support pillar was a wheel that might have served as a clock, if it rotated. The entire tavern was shown from the back, which revealed the statue of a hero, presumably one of the Belzerg Royalty and/or the dragon slayer underneath the skeleton. Another one of those odd plinths was on the opposite side of the statue’s feet.

Closest to the camera were a red head female mage talking to her melee party member. On the sides of the ceiling were banners detailing either the Mobile Fortress Destroyer or the founding of Belzerg. Above the Adventurer’s Info Desk had the statue bust of a Lizard Runner. In front of Kazuma and Aqua (behind them from this camera view) was the Barbarian Shopkeep that was only made canon in the Dust Spinoff Novels.

Kazuma hummed as he took in the atmosphere with a smirk on his face.

“Hey!” The barbarian called. “Haven’t seen you around here before.”

“You really wouldn’t have, and if you did. I would be concerned for you.” Subaru said.

Aqua squeaked as her pinprick eyes saw the bearded barbarian’s gaze. Kazuma, still in his sleep deprived apathetic mood, had no reaction. Said barbarian raised a finger to point at them.

“And what’s with the weird clothes?” The barbarian asked

“Oh,” Kazuma walked up to the barbarian. “We’ve actually come a long way, and we just got into town.”

Kazuma placed an assertive hand onto the table and his other hand on his hip. His eyes closed as he paused for one dramatic second.

“I want to become an adventurer to fight the Demon King’s Army, too.” Kazuma opened his eyes and relied on his Protagonist CharismaTM.

The barbarian breathed through his nose before he closed his eyes.

“Is that right, you reckless punk?” the barbarian said.

The barbarian twirled around and adopted the Crazy Eyes Pose (the one where an eye is normal sized and the other is widened).

“Welcome to the gates of Hell!” The barbarian said before he hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “If you’re lookin’ for the guild admission desk, it’s over there.”

Thus Kazuma and Aqua walked past the statue of the Founder of Belzerg. 

“Hey.” Aqua said, which caused Kazuma to halt.

Kazuma turned his head over his shoulder with a hum.

“How can you make up a story like that on the spot?” Aqua asked.

“Well, it is the truth.” Satoru said, head slightly tilted to the side. “Just a bit farther than that barbarian understood.”

The room nodded.

“Listen, Aqua.” Kazuma assumed a lecturing tone.

“Okay.” Aqua hummed.

Kazuma raised a hand to seemingly hold the statue’s sword tip. “Today we’ll register with a guild and find a place to stay the night.”

“G-Got it.” Aqua nodded her head and raised her hands in front of her chest. “I don’t know anything about games, but I guess that’s how it works in worlds like this, right?”

“By which I meant, I have no first hand experience playing the games.” Aqua explained. “All I knew was observing their world and reading from the books of the dead.”

Kazuma raised his hand even further to directly point at Aqua. “Exactly. All right, let’s go.”

The pseudo-couple dropped their arms and walked off.

“Oh, wait.” Aqua muttered with her knife-hands framing her booty. “You seem like such a capable guy.”

The camera changed to a front view of both Kazuma and Aqua.

“Why were you a shut-in otaku with no friends or girlfriend before?” Aqua asked.

“Did you not just read a book that detailed his entire life, or was that book merely how he died?” Satoru asked.

Aqua blushed and hung her head.

Kazuma grunted and gritted his teeth at that.

“Why did you seclude yourself every day and act like such a shut-in NEET?” Aqua asked.

Kazuma gritted his teeth even more before he half turned towards Aqua and pointed an accusatory finger towards her.

“Stop calling me a shut-in NEET, you bitch.” Kazuma proceeded to escalate the situation. “Don’t lump “shut-in” and “NEET” together.”

“Well, in the mid 2010s, they did become basically synonyms.” Ristarte said.  “Along with NEET becoming a synonym for utmost laziness.”

The rest of the room hawed.

Thankfully his outburst produced no reactions. Specifically the next frame was a mid-back length red haired mage in a bowler(?) hat and a dark haired warrior sitting at a bar. The bartender merely shook his tumbler and produced a soft clanging sound that signaled that there was ice in them. The mage’s staff sat next to her and conveniently covered the menu.

The next frame showcased Luna the receptionist in her alcove, the camera specifically panning up past her large tits to showcase Luna’s dark yellow hair and amber colored eyes. 

“Hello. What can I do for you today?” Luna asked, firmly in her customer management mode.

The camera zoomed out to showcase the three other desks, though Luna was the only receptionist on duty. At desk number three, desk number one was against the wall to the right. There were two different signs framing this help area, their text too blurry to translate.

“Um, we’d like to become adventurers.” Kazuma said.

“I see.” Luna’s autopilot brain replied. 

Luna closed her eyes and smiled. “In that case, you’ll first need to pay the registration fee.”

The camera showed Kazuma smiling with his eyes closed, not processing anything. Aqua stood by a support pillar. The Founder’s statue and its red caper separated the two.

“Sure, Sure…” Kazuma said.

Kazuma’s very tired neurons fired and transmitted the information gathered by his ears to his cerebral cortrex.

“Huh?” Kazuma opened his eyes as he stopped smiling. “Registration fee?”

Kazuma turned his head towards Aqua. 

“Do you have any money?” Kazuma asked.

Aqua shook her head in the negative, her mouth still an adorable tiny dot.

“You dragged me here without any warning.” Aqua reminded Kazuma. “Of course I don’t.”

Kazuma had stress sweat all over his despairing face. Luna still had her autopilot brain active and her hands neatly clasped each other.

“This girl’s useless…” Kazuma blamed everyone but himself.

“Yeah well, that’s what happens when you don’t give prep time.” Seiya said, glaring at Kazuma.

Kazuma shrunk into his chair. “Oh come on, I just got the courage to sit back up properly! I mean, as much properly you can be in a recliner chair.”

The tavern was shown from above as a barmaid walked past two fully seated tables. Kazuma and Aqua were sitting in the loneliest corner by the window. Kazuma was shown alone before a reddish-brown haired barmaid came up to the table.

“Are you ready to order?” the barmaid asked the depressed pseudo-couple.

“Um, I’m still thinking about it…” Kazuma said.

The barmaid sighed as she turned away, holding her clipboard to her chest.

“Please take your time.” the barmaid's autopilot brain replied.

The heads of the two isekai’d were shown. Well more specifically their eyes and noses, or at least Kazuma’s when he looked up and across to Aqua.

“Hey, what should we do?” Kazuma asked. “We’ve already hit a roadblock.”

A circular shield with a cog wheel on the outer rim, a bumpy-flower like ring just inside of the cog wheel, and inside of the flower was a plus (or cross if one wanted to ascribe more Christianity than was necessary) which had two swords that peaked out at diagonal angles, and formed a blunt 8 pointed star of chaos. Was shown over their table, high up on the wall.

“Normally we’d get a minimal amount of equipment and enough to cover basic living expenses, at least.” Kazuma continued to complain. “This is totally inhospitable.”

Kazuma shrunk even further under Puck and Tanya’s gazes. Satoru had a bemused tint in his wavering flame eyes. Naofumi, Raphtalia, and Filo directed their deadpan stares towards the 16 year old. Rista had gripped Seiya’s mouth closed and pulled his head towards the screen.

Aqua raised her head to stare Kazuma in the eyes.

“There goes your reliability, just like that.” Aqua said. “Well, I guess it was inevitable. You are a shut-in NEET.”

“Don’t call me a shut-in NEET.” Kazuma glared at the goddess. 

Aqua placed her hands on the table and pushed herself up.

“Fine. I guess it’s my turn now.” Aqua said as she adopted a confident hand on hip pose.

Kazuma looked attentive at the goddess’ new found confidence.

“Let me show you what a goddess can do!” Aqua said.

Aqua waved goodbye as she walked away to horns playing. Thus Aqua walked up to an old man calmly drinking his beverage of choice. Hand grabbed the barrel-like mug from the side, the other hand supported the drink from below. She stopped right before the camera and treated the audience to another shot of her booty. Which perspective wise was the same size as the man’s torso.

“You there, priest! State your denomination!” Aqua said, visible hand on her hip.

“Hm?” Went the old man as he opened up his eyes.

Aqua had a cute and confident grin on her face, hands on her hips with the backs of them pressed against her Shrodinger’s Dress. Flutes played.

“I’m Aqua.” the goddess introduced herself. “Yes, the object of worship for the Religious Cult of Axis: The goddess Aqua!”

Aqua blinked as she raised a hand to point at the priest.

“If thou art one of my followers…” Aqua said.

Aqua bowed from a side view, the old man priest had a bit of nervous sweat rolling down his face.

“It’d be a huge help if you could lend me some money!” Aqua pleaded in a rapid squeaky voice.

“I’m in the Eris Sect, actually…” the priest busted the goddess’s bubble.

Aqua instantly snapped into a shocked face with far more nervous sweat than the priest and the bridge of her nose/between her eyes became red. The flutes stopped with a bang as even Kazuma knew how far Aqua shoved her foot down her throat. His eyes were mere pinpricks and his jaw fell open. …if he wasn’t just now realizing that Aqua wore nothing under her dress in the next camera angle.

All was silent enough for a woman’s giggles to echo through the tavern which overlapped with the theather’s

“Oh, you are? I’m sorry.” Aqua said in a quiet/dead tone.

She turned around as she rubbed her head, but the priest raised his hand.

“Oh, young lady, are you with the Axis Cult?” the priest’s brain jiggled into motion. “The relationship of the goddesses Aqua and Eris is that of Superior and Subordinate.”

“The difference is the ‘quality’ of faith and what we embody.” Aqua said. “For Eris as the Goddess of Luck and Commerce, every action of probability such as shooting an arrow into a crowd of enemies, will empower her. Of course more specialized things such as trying to infiltrate a mansion or dice games will provide more faith towards her, especially if something valuable to more than the thief and current holder is at stake.”

Everyone else’ eyes widened, mentally filling in why Aqua is a senior goddess. Water, after all, was a widely observed physical thing and essential to most life. While Luck and Commerce were only things that sapients could spend time thinking about once their essentials were met. Or in the case of luck, bemoaning their lack of luck because they couldn’t fulfill their essential needs.

“Oh no, you’re the collective consciousness type of deity.” Satoru said, voicing everyone’s thoughts, head in his hands..

“Ah, so that’s why my village has so many sealed detities around it.” Megumin rubbed her chin. “It is easier than killing or converting everyone of their disciples-dreamers. Let alone actual battles to the death with the detities. Which has the potential of fragmenting said deity and/or embedding the ‘idea’ of them into every viewer.”

“So If I want to keep her around and she loses all of her followers, then I would have to personally worship her?” Kazuma thought, eyes on his hands fiddling in his lap.

“I wonder if there is an analogue to Megumin’s clan in my world.” Demiurge thought, left hand on chin as his right hand wrote mental scribbles on the chitin of his tail. “That way I can give Jaldaboath the goal of unsealing his master. Assuming that my plan of making Jaldabaoth the Demon King falls through. But if Jaldabaoth has a god that he ‘answers’ to, then that will increase Lord Satoru’s Momon Persona when he defeats said god. I’ve already implanted the Tri-Armagedden Evil Statue as the reason for the Demonic Disturbance. So I can just say that this god made that statue.”

“And it prevents them from growing stronger and influencing reality, whether that be by empowering their faithful or deciding that 2+2=Purple Pineapple.” Aqua nodded. “Being sealed and forgotten has weakened them.”

Aqua glanced towards Subaru and Shalltear “Should have weakened them.”

“So what happens if you die?” Subaru asked.

“Among lots of other things, Water magic won’t work any more.” Aqua said. “While that doesn’t seem too bad, you must understand that their world doesn’t have the evaporation cycle being the cause of rain, instead it is drunk elementals that cause storms and rain is managed by the lesser spirits. Admittedly evaporation does fulfill the role of making the elementals ‘drunk’ off of the mana in the ocean boiling away into the clouds where the elementals hover.” [2]

“Assuming I just don’t wake up back in Heaven because I got crippled.” Aqua thought. “Seriously, I forgot the whole deal between the Storm Elementals stripping the women in thanks for the adventurers beating them back into sobriety. WHICH I REALLY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BECAUSE I AM THE WATER GODDESS! Or the fact that Devils have the ability to save up multiple lives via Arcana, the negative energy of this world. Which also provides magic resistant to at least the Dragons. Oh and in sufficient concentrations such as a High Ranking Devil being in one place for centuries, Arcana can rip open a portal to hell. While Divine Mana only grants silly-grade regeneration. Because fuck us.”

Again the room's eyes widened.

Satoru’s eye flames narrowed. “If there is no water magic, then that means there is no healing magic nor irrigation for agriculture. Thus mass famines that will weaken nations, if not destroy them outright. And because there is no food, your armies will starve while the Demon King can just modify some beasts to grow food directly from their bodies. Or modify slimes to function as irrigation. And have his combat minions be completely immune to everything but the now absent water magic.”

The others in the room rubbed their temples.

“If you are so important then why did your superiors even allow you to leave?” Puck said, teeth gritted. “While I am the Great Spirit of Fire, in my world Fire Magic covers both hot and cold temperatures. It is a title that will be passed onto another Fire Spirit with my death. It is what happened when I killed Melakouera. But that is just a random title humans made, same with the Beast of the End. it doesn’t have any effects on Od Laguna.”

“Is the Winter Shogun your heir? Does your Heaven have a backup plan at all?” A twitch traveled down Puck’s spine to the tip of his tail.

“I am planning on being the last Water-type deity of my Pantheon.” Aqua said. “But probably that is what would happen if mortals wanted to Apotheosis him. Or one of his subordinate Snow Sprites, which if you kill one of them, then winter is shortened by a single day.”

The others except Kazuma, Darkness, and Megumin blinked.

“That’s odd.” Puck summarized the room’s thoughts as he rubbed his temples. “First the manually controlled water, and now this season decoupled from the time of the year? What’s next, all plant life being mobile and extremely hostile?”

Megumin opened her mouth.

“Oh come on!” Puck said, spasmed from head to tail tip, this time the twitch traveled down to his paws as well. “I was being rhetorical!”

“Well, so long as you don’t swallow the seeds whole.” Megumin explained. “Then most of the plant life just pulls up their roots and runs away. Only the vegetables actually attack you, hence why you need permits to grow them. So I don’t think you can count that as hostile.”

The room blinked again.

Lergen rubbed his head. “The childhood fears of plant life growing inside of you if you swallow a seed. Should not be a literal thing.”

“A-Allergies can be t-triggered if the f-flowers engulf their enemies’ f-faces.” Mare said as he tapped his chin.

“Eh, haven’t seen any flowers do that.” Megumin waved her hand. “They mostly run around and make the teacher force his students to round them up. Maybe if there was a vicious Tranquility Girl nearby, but uh.”

The room filled in the blanks of that happening when their species’ common name was that.

Warn Kazuma of the Tranquility Queen and the Manticores that live near Axel. Darkness wrote in her notebook.

Ah, that is easier and harder than the Unified Divine Realm’s ranking system of how many worlds you have saved. Ristarte thought. Ask Aqua about ascended humans.

Hm, guess Aqua is vulnerable to Ovid and Dante-type Orators. Rudersdorf frowned. 

Aqua blinked and turned her head back.

“This must be fate. I saw earlier that you couldn’t cover the fee, correct?” The priest continued.

The priest laid out several golden coins on the table. They were engraved with the dull star of chaos which maybe is the emblem of Belzerg Kingdom.

“Here. Please consider this Eris-sama’s divine blessing.” the priest said while doing the cross motion. …which was a Christian thing.

The military records crew, except Tanya, all breathed in through their noses and counted to ten.

Aqua’s dismay tinted appearance straightened at the sight. Her body and hair cast far more shadow than it should.

“Still, no matter how devout a believer you are, you mustn’t call yourself a goddess.” The priest rubbed his beard.

“Uh, yes. I’m sorry.” Aqua said while she completed her turn and walked over to grab the coins. “Thank you very much…”

Aqua clutched the few coins to her chest before Kazuma’s mouth twitched, eyebrows knotted as Aqua walked back. A soft giggle-sigh escaped Aqua’s lips as she stood in front of her ‘owner’.

“He didn’t even believe that I'm a goddess.” Aqua complained.

Aqua’s eyes wavered under her tears. “By the way, Eris is a goddess ranked beneath me. A believer in my subordinate took pity on me and lent me money…”

Aqua’s eyes wobbled so much that they were audible. 

Kazuma looked away and down at the floor. “Y-Yeah…”

Luna was shown wiping off her desk, more accurately her hand. She paused as the camera zoomed out to show Luna nearly horizontal with her butt pointing to the lower right corner of the screen. Kazuma and Aqua’s eyes were covered by their hair bangs. 

“Um,” Kazuma brought up his hand. “We’ve brought the registration fee.”

Luna stood up as she stopped her washing, “S-Sure…”

“Something told me that she didn’t want to make eye contact with us…” Kazuma narrated over the request board.

Luna turned around, “Allow me to formally explain.”

Kazuma and Aqua were shown as Luna’s autopilot brain swapped back on.

“Adventurers each have their own occupations.” Luna said before she pointed to the card. “This is your registration card. It keeps track of how many monsters you’ve vanquished.”

“So, you don’t have to cut off the ears or other body parts to confirm the kill?” Satoru said, left hand on chin.

“We are not backwards hillbillies!” Darkness said, fists clutched at her side.

“Besides, if all the adventurers are looking for is to cut off their ears.” Tanya said with a shrug. “Then the natural thing to do is to make a monster breeding farm, cut off the associated body part, sell the part, and then use the money to expand your breeding facilities. Which will eventually get exposed and release far more monsters than originally was.”

Albedo closed her eyes and mentally groaned at such an easy answer to raise money, which she and Demiurge completely missed. Then not one of Lord Satoru’s operatives would lack for money in the human world. Demiurge resisted the urge to slap himself upside the head with his tail as he came to the same conclusion.

“Okay, I get why Albedo and Demiurge didn’t think of that because they have to run Nazarick and deduce Lord Satoru’s plots to take over the world respectively.” Aura thought, head in her hands with Mare gently rubbing her head. “But I am the Beastmaster, so I should have thought of that myself! Hey, for that matter, why don’t we see if Mare could grow one of the rare (for the New World) plants and harvest those to give to Lord Satoru’s Momon Persona. Which would increase his fame because he can now accurately identify AND harvest rare plant materials.”

“I could have the Lizardmen see if they have any other rare resources suitable for trade to human settlements.” Cocytus thought. “Then have Lord Satoru as Momon formally meet them and bring trade. Increasing his fame not only as a Human Hero, but as a Hero of many races.”

Satoru placed a hand on his forehead. “Oh, I am such a dumbass for not thinking of that. It would certainly give Aura and Mare something to do so that they aren’t bored.”

Tanya gave half-lidded glares to the Nazarick crew. “[Geniuses], Suuuuure.”

The NPCs accepted that remark and hung their heads.

“As your level increases, you’ll earn points that you can use to learn skills, so please work hard to raise your level.” Luna said as she folded her hands in front of her waist.

A blue crystal orb was shown, yellow and light gray metal formed a clockwork machination around the orb. Below the orb were three cyan laser focusing discs. The Card Maker was held up by two dark gray claws.

“Now, both of you, please hold your hands over this crystal.” Luna asked.

The camera swapped to show Kazuma reaching to the crystal. Aqua was interested in the clockwork of the Card Maker.

“Like this?” the boy asked.

With a click and the sound of a film reel rolling, the crystal lit up with an inner like as the clockwork spun. Which prompted an amazed [ha] to spill from Kazuma’s lips. Cyan bubbles gathered in the crystal before they descended to the focusing lens. The clockwork clicked and swirled as a violin played over the fantastically rendered CGI. the focusing lens, more like small bowls as the camera zoomed in and provided clarity, wobbled as the cyan bubbles passed through them to reach the needle at the bottom.

With a soft electronic whistle, the needle tip glowed and shot the concentrated bubbles down at the card. Etching into it the details of Kazuma.

“With this, you will each learn your current status,” Luna said as the laser wrote down Kazuma’s name. “So please choose your desired occupation based on your stats.”

The laser-pen was shown from below, looking like a saucer-type final boss. The laser passed over the camera twice before we returned to Kazuma’s very invested face.

“Here it comes!” Kazuma leaned closer. “Now my tremendous latent abilities will be made apparent, and there’ll be an uproar throughout the guild!”

“I mean…” Kazuma scratched his left cheek. “I guess I did receive it, with that sheer delay of leveling up.”

“You also did get it by proxy of Aqua.” Megumin and Darkness said.

Aqua nodded.

Kazuma blushed.

“So, Subaru truly isn’t the only one with that type of expectations.” Emilia thought with half-lidded eyes.

The laser etching finished, leaving a lot of words in the Belzerg script that went untranslated. Below a stylized portrait of Kazuma were six bubbles that detailed the type of class he had. To the left of that was his skill list and presumably his current stat point number. Above that was his name in the script, which looked like the scribbles of a space architect. Luna picked up the card and then turned around.

“Yes, thank you very much.” Luna said while reading Kazuma’s card. “Satou Kazuma-san, is it? Let me see…”

The camera showed Kazuma gleefully awaiting his destiny and Aqua mildly interested.

“Average across the board.” Luna said. “With the exception of decently high intelligence…”

Luna blinked. “Oh? Your luck is extraordinarily high.”

Kazuma blushed as most of the room nodded in agreement with Luna.

“Of course,” Luna held Kazuma’s card to her chest, a hesitant look on her face. “Luck isn’t a very essential stat for an adventurer… with this much luck, I’d recommend becoming a merchant or something similar.”

Kazuma had the barest hints of despair on his face, Aqua tried and mostly succeeded in suppressing her giggles behind a meritful smirk and her hand.

“Ah, the [Easy Growth] thing is a hidden stat.” Rudersdorf said, tapping his left hand’s fingers against his left palm. “On one hand, it's convenient not to hang a [please assassinate me] sign around their necks. On the other hand, I do not envy your nation’s strategists when it comes to your nation’s future.”

“We did identify the previous Cheat Users by their black hair and odd artifacts.” Darkness explained. “But roughly 20 years ago there was a push from the demon king that focused down on black haired people, so Mitsurugi and Kazuma are the latest in the trend of disinformation.” [4]

“Ah, what is a mere twenty years to a goddess?” The rest of the room thought, realizing that the demon king wouldn’t use a dagger in place of a broadsword.

Kazuma glared at the snickering Aqua over his shoulder. “Hey, she’s disapproving of my adventurer’s lifestyle right off the bat. What’s going on?”

“U-Um,” Kazuma turned towards Luna, he hunched over. “Make my primary job [Adventurer], please.”

“W-Well,” Luna’s brain switched into consultation mode. “You can always change jobs when you level up!”

“Y-You’re right!” Kazuma said, straightening his back as he took his card. 

“Eh? You don’t have to wait until level 40 before your Class-Up Ritual?” Raphtaila asked, her ears twitched as she remembered the battle against the Class-upped Bandit that was cut from the anime. “No wait, you have that very slow leveling process. Thus you wouldn’t need to restrict access to the Class-Up ritual.”

Raphtalia glanced at Filo’s Cowlick-Tiara thing.

“Would you gain stats from changing your class?” Raphtalia asked. “It happened to us, so you should have the same thing. …though, you don’t have the Waves as a phenomenon.”

Aqua shook her head. “No we don’t have to wait, no our stats don’t grow when we change classes. The only way for stats to grow is leveling, training, and Dragon Meat.”

Kazuma turned towards Aqua. “Hey, if Dragon Meat is a stat boosting item, and at least Mitsu-prick can easily kill a Dragon.” Kazuma reached over to pinch Aqua’s cheeks. “Then, why oh why, isn’t Dragon Meat being served as a regular, if expensive, meal here at Axel’s Adventurer’s Guild?”

“Because Dragons are converters who seek out Arcana, the energy of hell, absorbing it. They break it down into usable energies and rare materials like Manatite that form in their treasure hoards, the stat increase is just a side effect. But because the Dragons are not native to hell, they all go insane and must be put down.” Aqua said through her pinched cheeks. “The other side effect of this conversion process makes it so that Arcana can be smelled by anyone, not just the Divines. Thus if you were to serve Dragon Meat, you would get numerous complaints about the smell.” [3]

Kazuma closed his eyes, breathed out his nose, and let Aqua go.

“Ah, if only Volcanica’s meat could do the same thing.” Roswaal thought. “Then Subaru would be on board with my plan to kill the Dragon, he must be desperate to be worthwhile in combat.”

“Eating to get stronger? What a lazy growth method.” The casts of Overlord, Military Records, Rista, Seiya, and Subaru thought.

“Ah, so more of the cardinal weapons.” Raphtailia and Filo thought.

“Subaru and Kazuma are going to be so pissed that I can grow stronger just by eating everything.” Naofumi thought of his shield’s absorption ability. Blissfully unaware of his time as the Tray (Mirror) Hero in the second Glass World arc.

“Of course we can’t have that type of ‘metaphysics’, no that would mean Subaru would be useful in more situations.” Puck’s left eye twitched. “Apparently we can’t have nice things.”

“I know that the last heartbeat of a Dragon and/or the blood of a Dragon is one possible solution to my frozen forest.” Emilia frowned and glanced at her lap. “But why can’t we have such an easy way to gain power? That isn’t being born with it like myself, or tremendous training like Wilhelm?”

Emilia breathed in through her nose, held her breath for 10 seconds, and released it from her mouth.

“I. Am. Not. Her.” Emilia thought.

Ram laid a hand on her twin’s back which broke Rem out of her angry thought spiral.

Kazuma opened his eyes and stared down Aqua.

His face dropped as he saw for himself, exactly how terrible his stats were. 

“The weakest job, huh?” Kazuma thought as Aqua walked past behind him. 

The machine swirled for a brief moment then Luna let out a loud gasp.

“Aside from your intelligence being below average,” Luna said around her hand in front of her mouth. “And your luck being the lowest possible level, all of your stats are drastically above average!”

“Yeah,” Zettour nodded. “Being dragged down from Heaven would qualify for the lowest luck possible.”

“If we didn’t just see part of Subaru’s first day.” The rest of the room finished the thought.

Luna’s boobs jiggled as she turned towards Aqua. 

“What?” Aqua’s just stated intelligence kicked in. “Does that mean I’m really amazing?”

A mirthful jingle played as Luna retrieved Aqua’s card.

“A-Amazing is an understatement!” Luna said. “The mage class, which requires intelligence, is out of the question, but other than that, you can be anything you want!”

Two barmaids and four male customers were shown as they turned towards Luna, Kazuma, and Aqua.

“A Crusader, Sword Master, Arch Priest…” Luna continued over their interested looks. “Nearly any Advanced Class right from the start!”

The red haired barmaid walked in front of them, the camera focused on her interested face as Luna’s final syllable left her lips. Before Aqua and Kazuma were shown once again, Kazuma looked at Aqua with a dejected expression as Aqua had a closed eye smug smile on her face. One arm supported the other whose hand had her raised index finger twirling in place.

“I see. It’s a shame there’s no [Goddess] Occupation,” Aqua said, she opened her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. “But in my case, maybe I’ll be an Arch Priest who heals her allies.”

“An Arch Priest!” Luna said.

The camera panned up Aqua’s body starting at her hips

“An almighty Class that commands all recovery and support magic, and that boasts enough strength to stand at the front line!” Luna’s narration ended at Aqua’s pleasant smile.

The tavern erupted into cheers and trumpets. Still images of celebrating adventurers passed before Luna turned around after getting Aqua’s card. Luna was suddenly flanked by two other receptionists, the left one was an elf with light green hair. The right was a human with a darker shade of green.

“Without further ado, welcome to our adventurer’s guild, Lady Aqua.” Luna said.

The camera retreated to show further uniformed staff members, Luna took her free arm and placed it under her boobs like she was going to bow. All of the …behind the scenes staff wore the same uniform. A brown vest over a secondary vest this time colored navy, which had a white long sleeved shirt underneath that. A red tie provided a centering effect compared to the yellow star that was over everyone’s heart. The look was completed with a gray pair of pants with the navy vest’s coattails covering the belt.

To the left of the elf was a moderately tall brown haired human man who had his arms folded behind his waist. To that one’s left stood a far larger, both in height and width, man with his arms crossed.

“All of our staff will be looking forward to your future exploits.” Luna said.

“Why couldn’t Re-Estize be developed enough to have these adventurer’s cards?” The NPCs thought. “Then Lord Satoru wouldn’t have to waste his time doing menial tasks.”

A wide shot of the guild filled to the brim with adventurers who all cheered before the camera cut back to Aqua’s smiling face. 

“Starting off as an Archpriest is incredible!” Said one female adventurer amongst the crowd.

Aqua’s hair did its pseudo dog tail wagging as the camera routed around her, as Aqua looked around the crowd. Aqua closed her eyes as she rubbed her head and waved with her free hand.

“Someone like you might actually be able to beat the Demon King, you reckless girl!” Said the Barbarian as he was moved behind Aqua.

The turning movement ended when the disappointed Kazuma got onto screen.

“No event like this is going to happen for me?” Kazuma asked.

Aqua pivoted towards Kazuma, a smile beaming across her face and finger pointed directly at Kazuma. 

“It’s the adventurer’s life for us starting today, Kazuma!” Aqua said.

“I thought you absolutely hated all this.” Kazuma replied, still down.

Aqua blinked and lowered her hand, “Did I?”

Kazuma merely closed his eyes and sighed. The camera swapped to just above the statue’s head, showing the massive crowd. Kazuma half turned before the entire crowd was blurred out to focus on the statue. Then the camera showed the statue from Kazuma’s perspective.

“Well, anyways, everything thus far has been basically character creation,” Kazuma thought, as he turned to the camera and a small smile grew. “Now our adventure is about to begin.”

The camera zoomed into Kazuma’s face before blending into a blinding white. Axel was shown from the treetops, sunlight peeking from above the wall. Then one of the nearby mountains was shown with a tower to the side, in between was the sunlight behind the horizon. No, it was the dawn of a new day and the dawn of the end of the Demon King. trumpets and other horns played continuously until the next spoke line over this montage.

A dove flew past the screen at a very close distance, close enough for the viewer to count the individual feathers. Which was helped by the fact that the bird was rapidly losing feathers as it flew up and away from the camera.

A mound of dirt was shown before an offscreen Kazuma swung his pickaxe into the ground. Kazuma was shown mid backswing, down to his white undershirt and green tracksuit pants. The top half wrapped around his waist and a white headband from somewhere applied to his forehead. Kazuma gritted his teeth as he once more swung the pickaxe forward, obscuring the sight of a short set of scaffolding to repair the wall’’s face.

The animation exaggerated Kazuma’s determined but despairing face as he commenced the hard labor of groundbreaking.

Kazuma was shown from afar with several other men digging to either provide stone for the wall or to make a foundation. In the foreground Aqua was providing water to three men in the shade of a lean-to. Kazuma was next shown to be carrying the back of a massive timber that was tied to a bag of coal or the result of their mining, only for the weight to be too much and he collapsed which caused the rocks to fall out.

A small amount of dust, the same amount as Aura kicked up, billowed around him as Kazuma laid on his back amongst the rocks which narrowly missed him. Kazuma slowly glanced up to the blonde foreman who had his arms crossed and a massive frown. Kazuma jolted upwards and raised an apology salute while the other worker was scratching his head and a faint light of dismay shone in his eyes.

“Why didn’t you participate in the hard labor, if your stats are so good?” Filo asked.

“Well, that would be training.” Aqua shrugged. “As a Goddess, my stats are already at the cap that they naturally can grow to be, whether that be training or leveling. So the only way for me to grow stat wise is Dragon Meat.”

The others blinked as Kazuma placed his hands on Aqua’s shoulders and gave her a pitying look. 

“I don’t need your pity.” Aqua said as she removed Kazuma’s hands from her shoulders.

“Ah, too bad about Aqua not doing the hard work.” Tanya thought. “Might have seen some Popeye-type action. …and the joy of a ‘Goddess’ forced to do the same menial tasks as us.”

A pair of horses were shown with their heads between the stable bars.

“What are those?” Emilia asked. “Why do they look like Melakuera?”

“First a fire cat, and now a fire horse.” Tanya breathed in. “Ah, proper fantasy.”

“Those are horses?” Ram said. “Hn, I like the look of Land Dragons better. At least the scales don’t get everywhere like fur does.” 

The entire stable was shown before Kazuma’s face was shown with closed eyes on a bundle of hay. Kazuma then rolled over to face a pile of horseshit, he then smelled it and jerked away. Kazuma glared at the scat and held his nose closed.

“You know, if Aqua actually pulled her weight.” Filo said. “Then maybe you wouldn’t have to sleep in a stable.”

Aqua hung her head.

“…and that’s another thing I am forced to be grateful about.” Naofumi thought, head in hands. “How lucky I was to not be forced to sleep in a stable, even when the entire nation hated my guts.”

Raphtalia gently rubbed the back of her Master’s head.

“Well, at least Subaru didn’t have to deal with this.” Rem thought. 

“Oh come on, why couldn’t I have joined the party early enough to sleep in the stable with them?” Darkness bit her tongue to prevent her jealousy from showing on her face.

Her party mates all had half lidded eyes as they sensed their perverted knight’s thoughts.

“Wow, Aqua didn’t cry about that?” Megumin thought. “I guess she does have a modicum of self control.”

Megumin twisted in her seat.

“At least I didn’t force Kazuma to smell my pee during that doll incident.” Megumin thought. “Couldn’t the stable owner find an actually clean cell for them to sleep in?”

“Aw, of course I miss such a delightful bounding experience.” Darkness shuddered. “Kazuma could have used my body as a blanket and as an air freshener.”

The camera shifted to show Aqua right behind Kazuma, blissfully asleep and selfishly hogging the only tiny blanket. More scat was just below Kazuma, to the point where if he straightened his legs, then his feet would be barely an inch away. Kazuma’s shoulders shook before the camera showed the outside of the barn, above which was a pleasant navy night sky partially hidden by the clouds. 

Beneath the barn laid a gently babbling crook which ended in the screen’s bottom right corner. The crook’s end gently shimmered like Kazuma’s tears.

Kazuma blurred as he swung the pickaxe in the light of day,  his expression far more maniac today. The other workers, however, were far more impressed with Aqua’s …Talents to see what Kazuma was doing. Though Aqua did eventually learn enough construction skills to expand a castle under daily [Explosion] bombardment by Wolbach, the one who taught Megumin explosion.

So Aqua flourishly applying mortar, or whatever the brick binding element is called, does have a purpose. Though her white shirt, green pants, gray boots, and yellow bandana certainly was …an interesting design choice. One that only highlighted Aqua’s delight as she spun around to face the crowd, which included Kazuma who had stopped working. 

Aqua dumped a bucket of water over her head as she did the pseudo-shower of apparently Japanese tradition. Kazuma and Aqua were shown back in their original gear drinking milk. Whose vendor was just to the side of them in a purple apron and a light purple shirt with a white hat. Both Aqua and Kazuma held their left hands on their waists as they completely drained the glass jugs of milk.

The adventurer’s guild was shown at night and Kazuma bit into a drumstick and had to pull the meat apart with his teeth. Aqua bit into cheese on a fork before she and Kazuma bumped their Nereoid drinks together.

Kazuma threw a large blanket onto a pile of hay, which was finally free of horse scat. Aqua turned around and leapt backwards onto the blanket. Hands held close to her chest before she threw them out and upwards as she landed. Kazuma too was making a Y shape but he was face down into their new blanket.

Kazuma was finally working in unison with the other groundbreakers, but still wildly threw his head back and forth. …well mostly in sync, he was in a line with the others who were in actual synchronization. Kazuma operated the crane lifting up three more bricks to the top of the wall, and Aqua took a free ride. She waved some encouragement towards Kazuma as he got her level with the top of the wall.

Aqua and Kazuma were shown side by side as they did the bucket of water thing. They then banged their drinks together once more. They both sensed the presence of their construction co-workers and their eyes shrunk to pinpricks as they saw the entirety of the crew before them. Said crew was understandably pissed because of their lackluster work efforts. Kazuma and Aqua quietly shook in fear.

A white flash then Kazuma was shown line dancing with the other men, each of which was holding their own drinks. Everyone had their eyes closed as they swayed from side to side. Aqua bumped drinks with two of her co-workers as some of the tavern goers raised their mugs to the partying group of workers.

The camera zoomed out of Aqua chugging so much alcohol that even she had a small blush over her nose. Kazuma had a hand on his head as he closed his eyes and leaned back, nearly resting on his boss. In front of Kazuma was another filled to the brim mug, in fact the foam of the drink was overflowing. Next to the overflowing drink laid a plate of drum sticks. After that Kazuma rubbed Aqua’s back as she puked out a rainbow, a large one in fact with a modest puddle by their feet.

The next day Aqua slathered on more mortar in a sideways V shape, the duo did the bathtub bathing thing, and this time Aqua joined Kazuma in the conga line. The post dance drinking was skipped to replay the rainbow puking once more.

The dove lost the same amount of feathers as it heralded the dawn of a new day. 

Kazuma still made his overly exaggerated faces but this time he was in sync with the other workers, Aqua made a sideways V Mortar. Then Aqua and Kazuma drained their small glasses of milk. …the clip of Kazuma eating a drumstick and Aqua eating cheese replayed. They toasted their drinks and the full conga line was shown in this replay. Before it zoomed into Aqua’s cheerful but closed eyes face. As transparent liquid droplets filled the bottom half of the screen.

The droplets continued as it went to Kazuma’s face, also full of enjoyment.

The navy blue sky filled with stars as the camera raced up to show the full moon. The music reached a crescendo as Aqua and Kazuma, now finally having separate blankets of their own. Laid down on their sack of hay. A beat filled with the white noise of nightlife animals as their work closes were hung on a drying line above them.

“Wait, this isn’t right!” Kazuma lunged into a seating position.

“Really, what was your first indication?” Lergen snarked.

“What isn’t?” Aqua asked, not willing to exit the comfort of her blanket by sitting up.

Kazuma placed his hand over his mouth. “No, wait a second!”

That caused Aqua to shuffle herself upwards and push her blanket down to her hips. Her blue nightgown was just a shade lighter than her hair or her eyes, it had a bare neck with exposed shoulders. Her nightgown was prevented from falling by two white straps connected to a thick white band. Above her breasts was a small tie, a dark purple circle with yellow trim. The main body of the tie was red and ended in a white chevron.

“What’s wrong?” Aqua asked. “Did you forget to use the bathroom before bed? It’s dark. Do you want me to go with you?”

Kazuma jolted his hand away and crunched it into a fist as he glared at Aqua.

“No need! It's not that!” Kazuma yelled

The stable owner was apparently close enough to hear that and banged against the wall. …further frightening their horses if said animals were awake. Aqua’s hair twirled as Kazuma hunched into himself, fists near his chin in an ametur’s boxing pose. His eyes were pinpricks as he stared at the wall separating him and a potential beatdown because of a noise complaint. Aqua completed her motion and her final pose was that karate chop hand position.

“Keep it down!” Shouted back the stable owner as Aqua’s eyes shrunk to pinpricks.

The pseudo-couple twisted their spines as they waved their hands and closed their eyes in the exact same way.

“W-We’re sorry!” They both stuttered in the same way.

Kazuma spread mortar over a seam in the bricks before placing a new brick over the seam. Aqua was sat a few feet away on a wooden stool so she could make a higher layer of bricks. Kazuma picked up another brick and laid it upon the mortar.

“We didn’t come here to be laborers.” Kazuma said.

“Oh,” Aqua jolted out of autopilot and turned towards Kazuma. “That’s right!” 

Aqua pulled her brick and …mortar spreader thing away from her work station. “I need you to defeat the Demon King, or I’ll never be able to go home!”

Kazuma had a face of mute despair upon that. So much despair that the next scene was bathwater rippling as Kazuma gingerly lowered himself in.

“Her intelligence stat was lower than a human’s.” Kazuma thought.

“Oh, wait.” Aqua leaned over to Kazuma. Hand hiding a smirk. “You forgot as well.”

Kazuma hung his head.

Kazuma walked out of the bathhouse, carrying a small wooden box.

“All of the monsters near town have been long since exterminated.” Kazuma thought. “With no monsters, there's no need for anyone to give us fetch quests.”

================= Bloopers:

-during the pick a power section-

“I’m surprised that you didn’t say that Heroes marry into Belzerg’s Royalty if they killed a Demon King, and Nobility if they didn’t.” Darkness said. “Thus the Royal Family has abilities on par with the Heroic Cheats.”

“Why only Belzerg?” Aura asked.

“We’re the frontlines and have been for countless Demon Kings.” Megumin said.

“Thus the other nations provide elite troops to shore up our defenses and give other types of support. But the main financial backer of Belzerg is Elroad, a nation built on gambling.” Darkness clarified. Vol10 stuff.

------

“YOU CALL THAT REINCARNATION?!” Tanya yelled, trying to fly over to Kazuma to choke him. Luckily for Kazuma, Visha and Lergen knew Tanya very well and pinned her down. “THAT'S RESURRECTION NOT REINCARNATION!”

“Why would there be a separate term?” Aqua tilted her head.

“CAUSE THEY-” Weiss shoved an unwrapped chocolate bar into his superior’s mouth.

“Because they are widely different things.” Ristarte sighed, hanging her head at her fellow goddess’ stupidity.

--------------deleted cuz I was about to go into Christian-Norse relations and the Crusades.

The non-Military Records crew just sat there for a few seconds comprehending Yahweh’s Angels.

“Angels are also metaphors. Hence why the Cherubim have a human head for love, an ox head for strength, a lion’s head for majesty, and an eagle’s head for cunning.” Rudersdorf said. “Though as you can see on the left, the standard angel looks like a human, being the ones to interact with us most. “Be Not Afraid” does not help with that many eyes. The reason why they have white wings and halos, when they didn’t in the bible, is because the renaissance artists needed a way to differentiate their humans and angels.”

Satoru rested his head in his palms. “So, why did the Cherubim become the angel baby archers?”

“Valentine’s Day, a day where you’re supposed to give chocolate to your significant other.” Rudersdorf explained. “Thus the greco-roman minor deity named Eros/Cupid whose weaponry bestows love, usually in the romantic sense, to anyone they wound. Even himself. Got assimilated into said holiday, because we of the Abrahamic Faiths just love to take someone else’s properties and make it ours. Like what happened to Yuletide (a celebration of Norse’s Great God Odin) into a celebration of Jesus Christ’s birth.”

Satoru perked up. “Oh, right. Christians also transcribed the Norse Literature.”

The other worlds stared at the Military Records cast.

Rudersdorf raised an eyebrow, “Would you prefer the violent way known as the Crusades?”

----

Blooper: if the Axis Cultists were shown.

“This is my role, not yours!” Albedo thought.

In response a group of humans labeled the ‘Axis Cult (Aqua’s Faithful)’ were shown in all of their sexual deviancy. Particularly the various monsters charging the cultists, seeing/overhearing their affiliation, and instantly bolting for the horizon. An image was shown simply titled: Who controls art. On the bottom left was a monarch, in the middle was an eccentric millionaire, on the right was a furry with wads of cash.

“If there is a hole there is a way?” Zettour held his head in his hands. “What is this, the Roman Empire in popular depiction?”

“Oh, splendid. Yet more Eight Fingers-like organizations.” Sebas thought, ki bristled underneath his skin. “Thankfully this one doesn’t have any slave-brothels. …or at least ones that Weaver has yet to reveal to us.”

The others, save Darkness and Megumin, sat in silence absorbing the Axis Cult.

“So, Yggdrasil closed down without any word of a sequel or something.” Aqua, the Goddess of Monster Fuckers and other sexually societal Outcasts, shook her head no. “And that’s just the furries/heteromorph-only players. Especially considering that Name Recognition is just as valuable, if not more so, than Gold.”

“Especially since Satoru’s Earth had only humans and thus Yggdrasil (and its contemporaries) would be one of the only escapes from the cruelty of man.” Aqua raised her hands into a confused shrug. “And the other races couldn’t sabotage their ‘harmless’ reputations like hippos. Compared to Shark’s reputation of monsters always on the prowl.”

“Again, we are just as monstrous as you think we are.” Shalltear and Demiurge thought, cupping their heads in their hands.

“Unfortunately like Bitch/Whore did for women in general, Balscus ruined religions for Mr. Naofumi.” Raphtalia thought, rubbing her temples. “Otherwise you would maybe have a new convert. If you weren’t so lust focused.” “So, your solution to you using people from a nation of declining birth rates and put them into a world of declining birth rates.” Tanya thought. “Was to reincarnate the people from the world of declining birth rates back into Japan. I’ve heard that [If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it] from the Americans. But this is ridiculous.”

=======Preview.

s1ep5/6:

“Why? Did you aim for his arm?” Puck’s tail twitched, Rem’s pinprick eyes were reflected in Puck’s very sharp teeth.  “Why am I not the only one of his allies to kill him?”

S1ep7 re:zero

A pair of hands grasped Subaru’s and broke him out of his nightmare.

The oni twins merely turned their heads towards Subaru as they remember the first interaction they were allowed to keep.

“A simple hand holding is what caused you to forgive us?” Ram stated with half-lidded eyes. “You are far too kind, unnaturally so. The barest of bare minimums of kindness do not make up for what we did.”

….

Subaru leapt off the cliff.

“No, I retract that unnatural kindness comment.” Ram said. “You’re insane. Literally insane.” 

S1ep8 of re:zero.

-------

“So, not only are you completely and utterly insane.” Tanya threw her hands up. “But you don’t even give yourself any rest? Seriously, wait a day or two before you are all chummy with those demons.”

“Racing against a dog clock, remember?” Subaru said.

S1ep14 of re:zero.

“Rem. Rem.” Subaru muttered as he dragged himself through the tragedy around him.

“I’ll count this as healing.” Rem said as she stared down at her hands.

Subaru opened his mouth.

“Yes, I know that it’s because you don’t want to actualize the thought of Emilia being hurt.” Rem spoke before Subaru could. “But thinking about people that have harmed you being hurt, is perfectly normal and a sane thing to do. Which you are in short supply of both.”

-------------------

S1ep2 of Shield Hero:

“You need to trust more.” Subaru said.

“You need to trust LESS!” Naofumi, Tanya, and Ainz shouted back at him.

---------------------

[0] Said angel being completely and utterly terrible was, in fact, the trigger for the party actually killing the demon king. By provoking Aqua’s good hearted nature with the fact that no one else is coming after Kazuma until Aqua is returned. No natives. No isekais. Nothing. Thus the Demon King thinks Kazuma is the Doom Slayer.

[1]the reason why I say this, is because in vol 4 (later half of season 2) Kazuma expresses shock at finding an Elf and Dwarf in Aqua’s church-town. So, elves and dwarves must skip Axel if they come. Also in vol 10, even another human nation does not want to support Belzerg. So why would non humans (other than Aqua and Eris) help? Remember that Belzerg has held back this current demon king for 7 centuries, several of them even before the Crimson Demon clan was made.

To the point where the Belzerd nobility have agreements for the Talentless. If a Talentless only kills a General, then they can marry into the nobility. The Dustiness Family (aka Darkness family) which has only accepted defensive cheats, there’s a rival family for offensive cheats. The royal family itself only accepts the Talentless who actually killed a Demon King. So, the other nations and races are basically blissfully unaware of the danger that the world is in. (which isn’t really shown because it's a comedy series).

Afterall, Belzerg has stood for many generations of Demon Kings, why should this one be any different.

[2]Yes, I know that the common fanon is that all water molecules would disappear with Aqua’s death. But that’s not how I interpated the debate between Aqua, Megumin, Darkness, and Lucy (vol14). But what about Eris not having big boobs if all her faithful believe that she has them? To which I reply: Fanon has Eris being an ascended human like Ristarte. I forget if that is actually canon to the ln, but that is what I am using.

Thus, like Ristarte and Cerceus, Eris is immune (or at least resistant) to attempts to mold her form and facts about her.

[3]in canon, Dragons do have Arcana but that only grants magic resist for them. The smell and stat increase is also canon. Again, I am spending far too much time trying to make sense out of a comedy series.

[4]Yeah it’s canon that Wiz is literally the reason why Konosuba’s Demon King isn’t overlord vol14/later half of s4, or any of the Overly Cautious Demon Kings.

AN: Brain: hey you know what’s a good idea? Use the power picking section to brainstorm powers. Me actually writing: oh hell no. even though I did come up with powers and how to connect them into explaining Actual Speed v Esoteric Speed (using DC’s Flash) vs Action Economy (using Brain Unglaus). That is just too unwieldy, SO STOP APPEARING IN MY MIND, BRAIN!

In other news, that thing about Mare smashing the ice statute of Brain? Yeah I thought it was a personal smack with his staff, ‘comedic’ or otherwise. Not that Brain was caught up in the AOE of Mare’s spells. So Mare is surprisingly less of an asshole than I thought he was.

"I respect you enough to command my subordinates to freeze you into cryostasis, take your weapon as a trophy, but not enough to move your body out of the AOE of my coworker." -Cocytus to Brain.

Unless the road the nobles took to Ainz’ rubble throne was the street Brain defended, then Cocytus must have asked Mare not to destroy the street.

In other news: I’ve got a tumblr, worldweaverofmediocrity. Go there to see progress updates on this story (and maybe others)

I want to have subaru discuss the normal cour length of 12/13 episodes, thus he mistakenly believes that most of the mansion loops (such as the ones where the Oni Twin were cruel to him) wouldn’t be featured in favor of saving the screen time for pete. Thus, he (alone in his head) doesn’t need to explain why he committed a (heroic) suicide nor why he isn’t deeply afraid of said twins. Nor his self harming habit. Or his fear of chains. But I have no idea where to put that, maybe I should save that for the next re:zero episode.

…and i basically lost my first job because of crippling anke pain/constantly under preforming. So job search twice in one year. …yay -_-

I don’t expect to live past 8/30/23, because I have an endoscopy and that requires anatheisa (the part i’m worried about) i’ve underwent that far too many times (like 15+ because when I was 6-8 I had to do an endoscopy every six weeks), so i’ve rolled the dice too amny times. If I don’t take this down in like 5 days, then i’m dead. Writing this last bit during a panick attack.

[headcanonsandmore]

Music Of The Ways

Summary:  Tegan Jovanka is already struggling with her feelings for Nyssa of Traken. The Doctor accidentally messing up the TARDIS translation circuits is the last thing she wants. However, maybe non-verbal communication may be a blessing in disguise for both Tegan and Nyssa...

                           Read on FFN.                              Read on AO3. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Well, that was an unexpected reaction.’

Tegan sighed, staring down at Nyssa. The two of them were lying on the floor of their room. It hadn’t been planned; Nyssa had been conducting experiments and, a few moments before one of her test tubes had erupted, Tegan had pushed Nyssa out of harm’s way, the two of them landing disjointedly on the floor.

Nyssa smiled up at the Australian, her long brown hair in a halo around her head. Not that Tegan was noticing how pretty Nyssa’s hair looked, of course. She was just observing the simple fact that her roommate was very pretty in general. Obviously.

‘You need to be careful, Nys,’ Tegan said, as the TARDIS ventilation circuits kicked into gear, sucking the weird gas above them into ducts in the ceiling. She was trying to avoid thinking about the fact she was currently straddling Nyssa’s hips. ‘Didn’t you promise you’d wear your goggles when doing experiments?’

‘Sorry,’ Nyssa said, as Tegan climbed off and helped her to her feet. ‘I got excited with how the experiment was progressing.’

‘You’re supposed to be the sensible one,’ Tegan muttered. ‘I’m supposed to be the loose cannon without common sense.’

‘I had to pick up your role while you were away.’

Tegan flinched. Nyssa’s voice was perfectly friendly, but Tegan didn’t like to think about the time she had been gone from the TARDIS. Yes, the Doctor had finally gotten her back to Heathrow Airport, but… well, it was complicated.

Nyssa didn’t seem to have noticed Tegan’s discomfort at this comment, and walked over to the bubbling remains of the test tube she had been working with prior to the explosion. Clearly, Nyssa had not missed Tegan as much as Tegan had missed her.

‘Oh, drat,’ she said, staring down at it. ‘Nevermind. At least that highlights the faults in that hypothesis.’

‘You mean, that it almost blew you up?’

‘Yes,’ Nyssa said, turning her head to smile over at Tegan. ‘And thank you, Tegan. You’ve saved my life once again.’

Tegan found herself blushing. Sometimes, she thought she could ignore her feelings for Nyssa, but then the Trakenite would smile at her and Tegan would be helpless once again before the image of her wonderful best friend, her cheeks dimpling as she smiled at Tegan in that way she never did for anyone else.

‘Don’t mention it,’ Tegan said, shrugging. ‘Besides, I need to return the favour; you’ve saved my life more times than I can count.’

‘You’re too sweet, Tegan,’ Nyssa replied, still smiling. ‘You know fully well that I couldn’t have a universe without you.’

‘Oh, flattery will get you nowhere,’ Tegan said. ‘Anyway, I’m gonna check with the Doctor, just so he doesn’t barge in asking about the ventilation ducts.’

Nyssa smiled, and Tegan left the room.

Immediately after closing the door behind her, her face turned a deep maroon and she could feel her heart racing.

I couldn’t have a universe without you.

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

Tegan’s mind was buzzing with confusion as she walked along the corridor. Was the TARDIS translations circuits on the blink? That must have surely been the case, because that sort of thing wasn’t a normal platonic thing to say to one’s best friend. Certainly not in that tone of voice!

Oh, but Tegan wished that it wasn’t just the TARDIS getting the translation wrong. It was a forlorn hope, she knew. There was no way that Nyssa could ever see Tegan in that way. Nyssa was smart, kind, beautiful and wonderful; she deserved the universe, not some gobby Australian who’d stumbled into the TARDIS by mistake-

CLICK10101aaidjfoufhufgaiodlfgdiyhuegfsidgytardgsaprfjdpghohjfwpfhpadgzz1010101-

Tegan stopped and clutched the sides of her head. Her mind had suddenly exploded with a collection of random noises, accents and incomprehensible sounds.

Bloody hell, what was that? It felt like a saw had been involved in a collision with her brain. Judging from the doors around her, the whole TARDIS had shaken, as several of them had creaked open.

Head still aching, Tegan hurried towards the console room. There, she found the Doctor, staring down at the TARDIS console.

‘Doctor? What was that?’ Tegan said, striding towards the time lord. ‘It felt like a sudden migraine, but the whole TARDIS shook…’

‘Ah,’ said the Doctor, turning to face her. He had an immensely guilty on his face. ‘Er…’

Tegan put her hands on her hips and glowered at him.

‘What. Have. You. Done. Doctor.’

‘Well…’ he said, slowly. ‘You see, I was trying to fix the chameleon arc and I may have… accidentally rebooted the translation circuits.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘Listen, it’s not that much of a chance; I can speak English perfectly.’

‘Doctor, are you saying that the TARDIS translation circuits aren’t working properly?’

‘Well… yes.’

Tegan sighed, and squeezed the bridge of her nose with her fingers.

‘How badly?’

‘They won’t be working at all for a while.’

‘A while?’

‘Several hours at least. Few days, maybe.’

‘Doctor, you bloody-’

The door opened, and Nyssa hurried in, looking concerned.

‘Nyssa,’ Tegan said, turning to her.

Nyssa began to speak, and it was in a language Tegan did not recognise. The language of the dead planet Traken; a language Tegan had never heard Nyssa speak, as the TARDIS had always translated it into English in Tegan’s ears. The only word of the language Nyssa now spoke that Tegan could understand was her own first name.

Tegan’s eyes widened.

‘Doc,’ she said, looking horrified at the Doctor. ‘How am I supposed to…’

‘I’ll translate,’ the Doctor said. He then began speaking in the Traken language to Nyssa. After a few moments, Nyssa’s eyes widened in realisation. And worry.

Without thinking, Tegan reached out and gently took Nyssa’s hand, giving it a soft squeeze.

Nyssa’s face softened, and a small smile rose on her lips as she stared at Tegan. Tegan felt her heart well with warmth for the younger woman. Even with their ability to understand the others language removed, they could still understand each other so well where it counted.

‘Doctor,’ Tegan asked. ‘How long is this going to take to fix?’

‘The TARDIS may take a few hours to properly adapt to its correct settings,’ he said. ‘Until then, we’ll have to make the best of it. ’

Tegan glowered at him. Seeing this, Nyssa let out a giggle and squeezed Tegan’s hand.

‘Don’t worry,’ the Doctor said. ‘Nodding and shaking your head means the same in Nyssa’s language as it does in English.’

                                                              *

 About an hour later, Tegan and Nyssa were sat in their room. Nyssa had briefly tried to start her experiments again but her heart didn’t seem to have been in it, so she eventually went to sit down on Tegan’s bed beside her.

How were you supposed to communicate with your best friend if they couldn’t understand your language?

As if in answer to Tegan’s query, one of the oval panels on the wall beside them opened, and a collection of colouring pencils (plus several thick pads of paper) was revealed.

Tegan smiled. The TARDIS was clearly trying its best to apologise for the situation they were currently in. Tegan tried normally to think about the fact that the TARDIS was, technically, a living machine but she appreciated it very much at this moment in time.

Tegan got up and collected the pencils and paper. Nyssa stared at her in polite confusion as she sat back down next to the Trakenite. Smiling in encouragement at her friend, Tegan opened one of the pads of paper and wrote her own name on the first page. Hitting on an inspiration, she then drew a rough sketch of the planet earth below it. It wasn’t perfect. But it would do.

She raised the page up so that Nyssa could see it, and then patted herself on the chest.

Seeming to realise what Tegan was attempting, Nyssa smiled, nodded, and grabbed a pencil and another pad. After writing what was presumably “Nyssa of Traken” in her own language (as well as a drawing of Traken itself), Nyssa held up the paper up. Tegan marvelled at the intricacies of the alphabet and nodded.  

Tegan pointed at the page in Nyssa’s hand.

‘Niss-ah’ she said, pronouncing the different sounds slowly. ‘Niss-ah Trar-kun.’

Nyssa nodded, and then pointed to Tegan’s page.

‘Er-thuh,’ she replied, her voice slightly uncertain with the pronunciation.

Tegan nodded, grinning. Without thinking, she reached out with her other hand and linked her fingers through Nyssa’s.

‘Tee-gan,’ Nyssa said, smiling and squeezing Tegan’s hand. ‘Tee-gan Jo-van-kar.’

Tegan felt her cheeks flush.

There was a knock at the door of their shared bedroom, and the Doctor walked in. Grinning at them both, he walked over to one of the walls and removed one of the large oval panels.

Tegan and Nyssa both walked over to where the time lord was stood.

‘Telepathic circuits,’ the blonde man grinned, pulling a large box out of the hole and placing it on the bed nearby. ‘If you both put your hands in, the TARDIS can get a head start on getting the translation circuits repaired.’

He then repeated that to Nyssa in her own language, and the younger woman nodded.

‘Should only take a minute or two,’ he said, cheerfully, to Tegan. ‘At the very least, you’ll be able to understand each other.’

Smiling, he left the room.

Tegan shot a quizzical look at Nyssa, and the last daughter of Traken nodded in agreement. Their hands, joined together, slipped into the folds of the telepathic fields.

At first, Tegan couldn’t feel anything. Only a vague sense of the TARDIS softly engaging with her brain. But then-

Tegan’s mind was suddenly filled with immense sadness. Of a planet slowly consumed by entropy, of Nyssa’s father destroyed and then possessed by the Master, of… of…

Of Tegan leaving the TARDIS.

Or, rather, the Doctor leaving Tegan at Heathrow. Tegan remembered it well; she was just reaching the TARDIS when it had dematerialised. She had been shocked and confused, baffled that the Doctor would assume she wouldn’t want to say any goodbyes with either him or Nyssa. But Nyssa had assumed that Tegan had left without so much as a backwards glance. That Tegan had left Nyssa without a care in the world.

As one, Tegan and Nyssa both pulled their hands out of the folds.

Tegan found herself crying, tears splashing down her cheeks.

Oh, Nys…

‘Tegan?’

Tegan looked up, and her breath halted in her mouth.

Nyssa was crying too, a watery smile on her face.

‘N-Nys?’

‘Tegan…’

Tegan was just about to ask whether Nyssa had experienced her memories, but she suddenly found herself unable to think. Because Nyssa had leaned forward and pressed her lips to Tegan’s.

Almost instantly, Tegan’s brain turned into a primordial ooze of base hormones and emotions. Most of them were concerned with how amazing it felt to kiss Nyssa. She would very much like it to continue. There was a small part of her brain that was loudly querying why Nyssa was kissing her, but it mostly drowned out by the rest of Tegan’s brain descending into a long cheer of exhilarated excitement and joy. Anyway, she really ought to kiss Nyssa back, come to think of it. However, before she could do so, Nyssa pulled away.  

‘I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time,’ Nyssa said, softly.

‘R-really?’

‘Yes. Oh, Tegan,’ Nyssa said. ‘I thought you’d left me; I didn’t realise you thought I’d left you. I’m… I’m so sorry.’

‘I’m sorry too,’ Tegan said, squeezing Nyssa’s hand. ‘Oh, Nys… I missed you so much. You really have no idea how much.’

‘I think I do. I missed you more than you could possibly imagine; I… I love you, Tegan.’

Tegan’s breath caught in her throat once again.

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t say it before,’ Nyssa continued, as if afraid she would stop talking if she stopped for more than a second. ‘I was scared that you would hate me if I did, but after you left… every single day, I regretted not telling you. I thought I’d lost you forever-’

Tegan’s lips pressed against Nyssa’s in a tender kiss. The Trakenite trembled, before leaning into the kiss, giving a soft moan. Tegan’s stomach exploded with excited butterflies at the sound. Nyssa could make those sorts of sweet noises? Oh, god, this was certainly becoming an educational day. And Tegan was not complaining.

If someone had told her that morning that she’d be kissing Nyssa within a few hours, Tegan would have assumed they were teasing her. But here she was, kissing a swooning Nyssa with all she had. And she loved it. She loved Nyssa. She had no intention of keeping the sheer depths of her feelings hidden any longer. Nyssa needed to know how much Tegan adored her.

Eventually, they broke apart.

‘Tegan… what…’

‘Nyssa,’ Tegan said, squeezing her hand. ‘I love you too.’

‘I…really?’

‘Of course. How could I not? God, Nys; I’ve been in love with you since the very first day I met you. You remember; back on Logopolis? Well, that was the start of it for me. And I never stopped. But I didn’t even know if you liked girls, let alone me, in that way.’

‘Tegan, how can I not? You’re… wonderful, truly wonderful.’

Their lips met again, and this time it was far from chaste. Tegan let out a moan as Nyssa’s hands began to roam, and the two of them slid slowly sideways, pulling each other closer as if afraid to be pulled apart again. Tegan’s cardigan was suddenly discarded on the floor and the top few buttons of Nyssa’s tunic seemed to have loosened. Tegan’s hands became engulfed in Nyssa’s beautifully soft curls, and Nyssa’s hands began to roam downwards-

‘Now, the translation circuits seemed to have-AGH!’

Tegan and Nyssa broke apart, sitting up on the bed.  

The Doctor, now looking acutely embarrassed, hurriedly spun on his heel and turned away.

‘You know, I really should ask the TARDIS to install locks on the bedroom doors,’ he continued. ‘Sorry to bother you; I’ll come back later when you’ve… well, when you’re finished-’

‘Doctor!’ Tegan groaned, feeling her face burn. ‘Stop blabbering on and get out of here!’

‘Sorry!’

The door shut behind him.

Tegan put her head on Nyssa’s shoulder and groaned, shutting her eyes.

‘Nevermind mind, my darling,’ Nyssa said, chuckling. ‘I’m sure the Doctor would rather forget that as much as you do.’

‘I hate that stupid time lord,’ Tegan muttered. ‘Who walks into the room of two young women without knocking first?’

‘Actually, I think he did. We were just… distracted.’

Tegan giggled, opening her eyes to stare up at Nyssa.

‘That’s one way of putting it.’

‘Speaking of which…’

Tegan suddenly found herself lying atop the mattress on her back, with Nyssa straddling her hips. Nyssa grinned down at her, an uncharacteristically mischievous look appearing in her eyes.

‘Shall we continue?’

Tegan matched her grin.

‘You speak my language, Nys.’

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Holidays, everyone; hope you enjoyed this little fluff fic!

[acatalystrising]

@ceapa-mica and I are back with chapter three of Second Chances! These stories are all rotating in my brain so I am very excited for where this one is going to go! What more unknown trials will Boba face in this complicated mission? Time to find out…

Rated MA for cannon typical action and violence, injuries, blood, side character deaths.

Second Chances Chapter Three

Kamino was in Boba’s dreams again.

Swelling waves crashing high around white, dome shaped buildings - rain pouring so hard, one could barely see the watery expanse beyond.

He’d always heard his father’s ship before he saw it, the warbling rumble of engines signaling his approach. And he’d stand there, palms pressed against the thick glass, peering out into the constant storm for that unique ship he’d be able to identify anywhere.

The waves rose higher and higher, washing over his window, blotting out his view of the sky…

And his father was gone.

-

Boba’s eyes snapped open, instantly taking in his surroundings.

Somehow, the hut was still standing, and the storm had passed. He blinked, briefly closing his eyes again, relishing in the warmth that kept him surprisingly grounded. He hadn’t slept this well in a while.

Wait a minute.

He tilted his head to the side, looking down at the woman who was curled against him. And to make things worse, at some point in the night, he’d unconsciously wrapped an arm around her.

Oh kriff. He had to get up. Needed to kill his bounty and return to Tarkin for his payment…plus some. And he’d already wasted enough time.

He peered at Kaia’s face, noting she was still asleep. She looked peaceful, despite her predicament. He looked down at the baby in her arms, swaddled in blankets - also asleep.

Good.

Now was probably the best chance he’d get to end this quietly. Despite his cold, calculating demeanor, he knew they both at least deserved that. And so he slipped his blaster from his holster, making sure to keep the movement slow. Perhaps he was being a coward, not waking the woman, but for some reason he didn’t think he’d be able to shoot her like that. Not after what they’d gone though. She deserved to die peacefully.

He moved to lift the weapon to her head, but paused when he felt something grip his finger. He blinked in shock, and his gaze flicked down to the source.

The baby was awake, and was staring right up at him.

Her grip was surprisingly strong, for such a little thing. He tried to move his hand away, to raise the gun, but the child refused to let go. Her eyes met his, and he felt something in his heart break. There was a fear there, he saw, but also joy. Love, even.

Stars, did she think he was her father? He didn’t know how babies imprinted, or if they even did. But as he gazed into her eyes, something in him snapped.

Oh.

Oh no.

No.

He didn’t want to repeat history. He would not do to this child what a Jedi did to him.

He couldn’t kill this child’s parent in front of them. He remembered the moment he found his father’s helmet, his knees hitting the sand as he pressed that familiar helm to his forehead, the weight of loss and the horror of it all crashing through his mind. He remembered the pain, the anger that drove him even now, and yet…

He was about to become that monster.

Kriffing hell, this was complicated. Too complicated.

The baby, Vyn, he believed she was called, cooed and let out a bubbling giggle, finally letting his finger go. He pulled his hand back as if he’d been burned, dropping his blaster to his side. She still watched him, eyes wide, that smile still there.

He didn’t know babies were this cheery.

He turned to glance back at Kaia, when a sensor on his gauntlet beeped. What? Someone was approaching? Damn it all, not another interruption. He slid away from her, donning his helmet with practiced ease, quickly running a thermal scan.

As soon as he saw the two heat signatures approaching, he cursed, standing to his feet with a growl.

Not the damn Trandoshan brothers.

Oh, now he really had a bone to pick with Tarkin. Had the Imperial bastard actually hired more than one hunter? Was he that paranoid? Did the man actually think he’d be able to cheat Boba out of his credits?

He heard their footsteps, and lifted his rifle in his arms, tracking their movement. There wouldn’t be an element of surprise here, at least not the way he’d prefer. He didn’t know if the lizards were aware he was here, but they were about to be. And if they wanted to keep their skins, they’d leave his bounty alone.

A hissing order whispered from outside, and the baby let out a cry, eyes wide. He flinched, glancing at the child, and found Kaia awake, watching him with a weary, yet confused expression. It seemed that she, too, was surprised to be alive.

Well, this job kept developing unexpected twists and turns, but one thing remained clear.

No one robbed Boba Fett of his bounties.

He slipped toward the door, tracking their movements as they approached, and kept his blaster at the ready. He turned to face Kaia, who still watched him with a worried frown.

“No matter what happens, stay here.” He lifted her blaster from the table and handed it to her, pointing at the weapon with a low growl. “Don’t shoot me again.”

He turned before she had a chance to respond, pressing his palm to the door and pushing it open, stepping out into the chilly morning air.

A heavy mist clung to the trees like a blanket, shrouding much of the surrounding terrain. It was the perfect camouflage for reptiles such as Trandoshans…but they weren’t the only ones. Boba ran this thermal scanner, already detecting the two ahead, and so he stood before the hut, crossed his arms, and peered into the haze.

“Trossk, Rassa, there’s no point in hiding.” He kept his tone low, a warning. “This is my bounty, so beat it.”

A low growl rumbled ahead, and he narrowed his eyes as one of the two brothers emerged from the mist, yellow eyes locked on him, scaly lips twisted in a frown.

“He hired usss first,” the Trandoshan pointed a clawed finger at him, a deadly blaster in his grasp. “Sso we’ll be ending the woman.”

“I’ve already poisoned her.” Boba hoped they’d buy his bluff. “The job’s done. Better luck next time.”

“Then why are there two heat ssignatures insside?” A second voice broke the silence, and Boba turned his helmet to the right, finding the second Trandoshan approaching.

“Rassa.” Boba eyed them both, mentally making a note of their speed and strength. If they both attacked, he’d be able to end them, but he wouldn’t be able to protect his bounty at the same time. Kriff, this was a mess.

But he wasn’t about to be robbed.

“This one’s ourss, Fett.” Rassa glared at him with narrowed eyes, teeth bared. “I don’t wanna cross you.”

“No, you don’t.” Boba’s tone turned icy, his final warning. “So I’d suggest you-“

A tiny wailing cry interrupted him, and he winced, fighting the urge to turn in the direction of the sound. But it was too late. Both Trandoshans peered at the hut with predatory glares, teeth flashing in the dim light.

“Hiding ssomething, Fett?” Trossk’s words were nearly a snarl. “Too bad we had to kill you for it.”

Rassa lunged with a snarl, heavy blaster aimed right at Boba’s head. He shifted to meet him, keeping an eye on Trossk, who leapt back into the mist and out of sight. He almost rolled his eyes as he fired his rifle, the blast leaving a scorching mark on the Trandoshan’s arm. He fired a volley of knee darts into the mist, and a loud shriek in the distance indicated that he’d hit his target.

They were powerful, but young. He’d fought much deadlier, more seasoned opponents, and won. But these two did have the element of speed on their side.

Boba lunged, keeping close to the hut, grabbing the reptile by the arms and twisting them behind his back before he had a chance to strike. He slammed him to the ground, but his attacker was strong too, overpowering him and shoving him to the dirt. Boba grunted, feeling the claws digging into his arms, and Rassa sneered down at him.

“You can’t beat usss, Fett.” His clawed grip tightened, making Boba wince. “Give up before I have to kill too.”

“Don’t be so sure,” Boba ignited his flamethrower, torrents of fire cutting through the mist and searing the Trandoshan’s skin.

He shrieked, pulling back, and Boba struggled to his feet - kicking the lizard’s neck with his shoes, the spiked toes leaving angry red slashes in the scaled skin. He ignored the painful shriek, blasting him with another bout of flame. He didn’t often get angry, but this situation was making his blood boil. And this foolish cretin would now be the recipient of his wrath. But where was Trossk? He didn’t detect a heat signature, but maybe he was above?

A scream followed by rapid blaster fire nearly made Boba flinch, and he turned from Rassa’s shrinking form long enough to see Trossk bolt from the hut, a small bundle in his arms. The baby? No…

“There’ss a kid?” Rassa’s eyes flared with surprise, but his lips twisted in a toothy grin. “Tarkin’s gonna love thisss…”

Boba swung his blaster down and shot the reptile in the head without a moment’s hesitation. Rassa fell to the ground with a shriek, but Boba was already moving, eyes widening in surprise when he saw Kaia standing in the doorway, blood staining her arm.

“Get Vyn, I’m begging you!” She pointed after Trossk, tears slipping down her cheeks even as she struggled to stand. “I won’t run. Just save my baby, please!”

Boba grunted, igniting his jetpack and lurching into the air after the Trandoshan. He knew Kaia wouldn’t run as long as her child was in danger. Trossk was trying to make a break for the trees, but Boba refused to give him cover. He dropped from the sky, punching the back of his head with as much force as he could muster, and Trossk shrieked, tumbling to the ground.

“Attack me like that and you’ll hurt the kid, but I guesss you don’t care about that, huh?” Trossk stumbled to his feet, Vyn held before him, his claws pressed against her soft, pale throat. “Won’t care if I do thisss then, right? If killing the woman isss your job, then you shouldn’t care what happenss to this.”

“Put the baby down.” Boba’s voice rolled like thunder and he aimed his blaster at the Trandoshan with a growl. “Your fight is with me.”

“Hmm I don’t think ssso,” the Trandoshan’s fingers lifted to slash Vyn’s neck, his eyes gleaming in the mist. “Ssay goodbye, Fett.”

Boba launched his grappling hook, and it wrapped around Trossk’s arm, pulling it away from the baby before he could land the killing blow.

Vyn slipped from his claws and dropped to the earth, but Boba was faster, catching her moments before impact, holding her close to his chest even as he kicked Trossk in the chest, pinning him down. Her shrieking wails were ear-piercing, but Boba kept his gaze locked on Trossk, who slowly stood to his feet.

“You basstard, you killed my brother!” His teeth flashed in the rising sun, eyes narrowed to hateful slits. “I’ll kill you and that woman. But I’m gonna take the kid to Tarkin himself. Sserves you all right.”

“Not today.” Boba fired his blaster, plasma bolt slamming into Trossk’s injured neck.

The Trandoshan shrieked, dropping back to the ground, and Boba fell upon him, unsheathing his vibroblade and slicing his neck open, his previous attacks weakening Trossk’s scales enough to make the blow fatal.

“Never use a kid as a cover, scughole.” Boba ripped the blade free with a spray of blood, stepping back and walking away, leaving the man to choke in his own blood. “You’re done.”

He didn’t look back, instead focusing on the baby, checking to make sure that she was okay. The thick fog curled around them, but Boba’s keen eyesight didn’t miss the blood that had splattered Vyn’s small face.

It was interesting, in that moment, how quickly he felt his heart plunge.

Logically, if the child died, he’d be able to get out of all this so much easier. He’d kill the woman, leave, and get paid just as he’d wanted. But when he brushed a thumb over the blood to survey the damage, Vyn’s little hand once again reached up and grabbed his finger, her blue eyes shockingly bright against the hazy morning sky. Her pale skin was a stark contrast against his tanned, bloodstained hand, and he felt a sigh of relief slip from his lips the moment he realized she wasn’t wounded. That the blood wasn’t hers.

She whimpered, refusing to let him go, and he felt something odd twist in his gut and grip his chest. Stars, this kid made him feel emotions he’d rather lock away. He was too broken, too dangerous, to hold a child this innocent. His hands were literally stained with blood, and yet…she looked at him with unmarred trust, her cries reducing to soft coos.

The roar of engines rumbled in the distance, and Boba stopped, looking back the way he’d come. He lowered his rangefinder, gut already twisting with unease, noticing movement in the trees beyond.

Kriff. The brothers hadn’t been alone.

He fumbled with his gauntlet, keying in the code that activated the Slave 1’s remote flight. It wouldn’t take long for the ship to arrive…but he hoped he hadn’t noticed the approaching enemy too late.

Vyn let out a shuddering cry and he held her closer, tucked in his arms, as he stalked down the hill back toward the hut. He didn’t fly, concerned that the cold air would make the baby sick, but felt alarms ringing in his mind. This could get ugly, quick. Yes, he was one of the best, but the best knew when retreating was the way to victory.

The vehicles were getting closer, much too quickly.

He tucked the baby against his chest, one hand cushioning her head from the coldness of his beskar and the other curling around her body, and he launched into the air. They were running out of time. They had to get away, and fast, before…

As they hovered over the hut, Boba saw Kaia lying motionless in the doorway, a small puddle of blood pooling beneath her body.

The baby let out a wail, a chubby hand reaching out for her mother, and Boba found himself landing a lot faster than a detached man such as himself should.

He knelt beside her, spurs striking the wooden planks - feeling for a pulse, and felt a conflicting range of emotions flood his chest when he found one. She was alive, barely. The roar of enemy vehicles shook the ground, the huts rattling from the force.

Damn it, he had to go.

He looked back down at the woman, and found she’d managed to open her eyes. They were locked on him. Something about the sight seemed wrong. Despite his job being to kill her. Even though her injuries would make his task easier.

The baby let out a piercing wail, her cries echoing over the wind, bouncing off the hills. She lifted a chubby hand toward her mother, fingers stretching out in desperation, and Kaia’s gaze flung to his, fierce and heartbroken - ready to accept her fate.

Knowing she was looking death in the eyes, and yet she still dared to meet his gaze.

“G-go…no one will know you…weren’t the one who killed me. Get paid.” Tears slipped down her quivering cheeks, hollow eyes the sign she’d accepted her fate. “Just…save my daughter. Tell her…I love her.”

In that moment, the warbling rumble of Slave 1’s thrusters overpowered even the approaching enemy…and Boba was faced with a choice. Even as little Vyn kept reaching for her mother, tears staining her soft cheeks. Her cries echoed in his ears as blaster shots slammed into the rotting wood over his head, then momentarily blocked as his ship landed right before them.

Boba had never lost a quarry. And today wasn’t going to be any different.

“There, there, little one,” he tried to keep his tone soft, gentle, as he held Vyn close. He tried to remember how his dad had spoken to him when he was a kid…that rough, soothing voice that had eased away his fears. “It’s gonna be all right.”

Kaia shrunk back when he knelt before her, but her eyes widened in shock when he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, helping her to her feet. He rushed toward the ship as fast as she could move, shielding her from the incoming shots with his armor.

“I don’t…understand,” Kaia looked up at him with hollow confusion as she nearly stumbled, trying to keep up. “Aren’t you…”

“Inside,” he helped her up the ramp, pushing another button on his gauntlet, prompting the ship to take off. “You’re not dying until I’m the one who kills you.”

She watched him with narrowed eyes, but nodded, clearly too tired to argue. The ramp slammed shut behind them, and Boba quickly moved through the cargo hold, Vyn still tucked close to his chest. She’d curled a chubby hand over the rim of his chestplate, and he didn’t bother trying to make her let go.

His gaze flicked to the holding cells, all empty at the moment. They had cots, true…but one glance at the woman only solidified his worry that she’d probably freeze to death if he left her down here. And for whatever damn reason, he couldn’t justify it when her baby was in his arms.

Blaster shots clanged harmlessly on Slave 1’s exterior, but soon, even those were fewer and fewer as they flew out of range. But he’d need to pilot her out of the planet’s airspace before they got enough distance between them and their pursuers for Boba to feel like he could close his eyes and sleep. Speaking of which…

He helped the injured woman up the ladder, finding she wasn’t as light as he’d expected. She clearly had enough muscle to allow her to hold her own, something he didn’t often see in Imperial women. Interesting…

She was barely conscious when he placed her on his cot, body trembling from blood loss. Despite his reservations, he placed Vyn down in her arms and rushed to get his med kit - treating her blaster wound with bacta and wrapping it with gauze. When he was convinced she wouldn’t throw it up, he handed her his canteen, watching as she weakly drank.

He knew she’d fall asleep soon. Time would tell if she woke. But if she died, she’d at least be able to say goodbye to her baby in peace…before the cold, unfeeling galaxy moved on, her life but a speck of memory in the vastness of the stars.

Boba finally made his way to his pilot’s chair, ripping off his helmet and slumping in it with a heavy sigh as he navigated them out of the planet’s airspace into hyperspace. He’d set some coordinates…but not heading back to Tarkin. Not yet. First off, the woman needed a doctor. One that worked off grid, and didn’t require a chain code.

Now that he was invested, he had questions. And he’d get those answers before anyone died.

He walked back into the cabin, settling down in the corner, back against the durasteel wall. He felt exhaustion taking him under, and he flicked one last gaze at Vyn, noticing that she was watching him, before sleep finally took him over.

[noretreatnancy]

i’ve been reading through your nancy posts, and i absolutely love your characterization of her. i had this sort of half-baked idea floating around in my head so i’m going to try my best to articulate it here. do you think some part of nancy saw robin as steve’s barb? at least, initially? the parallels are there, even if nancy didn’t know them herself. band geeks, outcasts, lesbians, could easily be typecast as the “best friend”. not that nancy was aware of any of that. but i feel like nancy could have easily watched robin and steve grow closer while she drifted socially, using the newspaper as her anchor and allowing people to talk to her, but never get close. i’m ignoring the first time nancy and robin met, as i think the circumstances well excused nancy’s otherwise rude tone of voice. but when they met again, i wonder if a part of nancy felt worse knowing that steve and robin weren’t a couple. in nancy’s mind, steve had found himself a barb. only this barb was a hell of a lot more talkative, and also alive. privy to the upside down and on good terms with all of mike’s friends.

and i think the thing about nancy only ever having barb as a, well, barb, in her life made things more complicated. she’s bound to see any friend that gets close to her as a parallel to barb, and it stops her from ever getting that close to friends. steve found a best friend, a someone to have his back no matter what. and maybe a part of nancy is jealous because that’s not her, but mostly it’s because she lost that. she’s been chasing that closeness and relationship ever since she lost barb, and to watch steve have that probably hurts. not that steve doesn’t deserve a relationship like that ofc, but nancy definitely didn’t deserve to lose hers. i feel like the point has definitely gotten away from me, but. nancy has been yearning for a barb for years, while simultaneously ripping any hope that she could have that to shreds. she let herself have boyfriends, and maybe a part of her thought that having a boyfriend was different from having a best friend. maybe there was some fear of betraying barb by replacing her? idek. but nancy sees steve moving on, sees him growing and being able to have emotionally stable and intimate relationships with people who aren’t his girlfriend. and nancy wants that kind of growth, that ability to move on and act like she’s okay again. because really, when it comes down to it, nancy hasn’t been properly okay since barb died, and it’s so easy to see that in the way that she distances herself from everyone

that is kinda a lot of words and half nonsense! i hope it makes some semblance of sense. i can’t dream of having such clear and concise characterization like you do, but i do love thinking about nancy and coming up with all of these what if/maybe/i think tangents

I think you’re absolutely spot on! I agree with everything you’re saying, especially about Nancy longing for that friendship. I’d even take it a step further with her seeing Robin as a “Barb” (this is about to be some total speculation/head cannon stuff that I can’t really back up except to say it makes sense to me lol). I think the reason Nancy is so wary of Robin in he beginning is because she DOES see her as similar to Barb, kind of awkward nerd pulled into their crazy world on accident. I think Nancy resented Steve for bringing someone else into it, and risking someone else’s life. 100% i believe that Nancy blames herself for Steve’s involvement in everything, and so indirectly she is now responsible for ANOTHER life being in danger. I think the difference between Nancy and Steve is that Steve never really considered the consequences of involving Robin in everything the way I think Nancy would have. The reason Nancy doesn’t have close friends outside of those in the know (Jonathan) is because shes very much aware of the danger she would place someone in if they learned about/got involved in the things she does. So to her, Robin was just one more person on the line that she had to feel responsible for. BUT in season 4, she actually gets to know Robin, and see that’s she much more capable that she maybe gave her credit for, and Nancy comes to understand what an asset Robin is to the group. I think Robin is just the first person other than Jonathan (and Steve but they don’t really spend much time together it seems) that Nancy can kind of relax and let go around and trust with her secrets/plans/rely on to help take some of the burden off her shoulders

[amorevolousfaith]

Chapter 28: Hunters Not Babysitters

Pairing: Din (Mando) Djarin X Reader

Rating: 18+ (MINORS BEGONE!)

Word Count: 2.3K

Warnings: Cannon violence, decapitation, adult language, mentions of kidnapping, Proselytism, Chaotic energy, lots of sexual tension, smut, sexism, consumption of alcohol, talks of polyamory, talks of drugging, fucked traditions, allusions to smut.

Summary: You and the Mandalorian have a complicated history and your future just seems to get more complicated as you go along. No thanks to the strange alien baby you both ended up co-parenting.

Taglist: @ranger-treaty

“Are you sure we can leave him here?” I sigh to my mother, even as she oh-so happily indulges the child’s bottomless pit he calls a stomach. “Of course!” She beams brightly, “If you ask me a few days isn’t long enough.” She hums snubbing her noise at me, I quirk an eyebrow at her before looking over to Din. “You can’t take our kid mom.” I huff crossing my arms, “I can very well try honey.” She snickers.

I shook my head and open my mouth to argue but Din is already ushering me along, the week we spent in the village was enough time for Din and I to come up with a game plan on how to proceed with the kid. Our first step is to find more Mandalorians, with enough luck they’ll know where to find at least one Jedi for the kid.

Leave the village, I’m the one to lead Din through the jungle, his hand on my back to let me know he’s still right behind me. Making it back to the ship made the trip feel quicker than it was when we first arrived, but I feel more reluctant to step into the ship without the child. “Are you sure it's a good idea to leave him here?” I mumble worriedly, Din tilts his helmet to look at me, “Do you trust your mother?” He questions. I let go of a heavy huff before stepping into the ship, Din pulls up the ramp on his arm brace before shuffling up to the cockpit. While Din gets us into the air I take the time to clean up a bit, the dust in the ship makes me sneeze and some of the items I brought with us from the ceremonies need to find a place.

I nearly fall on my ass when I feel the jump into hyperspace as I try to hang a hammock in the cabin for the child. I curse to the gods when I can’t get the final knot to stay in place only to feel hands on my hips, I’m then promptly lifted and moved to the side. I blink slowly registering the fact that Din just MOVED me like I was crate as he ties the knot himself. “Do I weight anything to you?” I huff watching him tug on the hammock for good measure, “Not really.” He grunts. I shot him a look even if he can’t see it, “Wow.” I muse before turning away to occupy myself with other maintenance that needs to be done.

When Din said he was going to land us I was expecting to be at Navarro or Tatooine, not fucking Coruscant. “Din, What the fuck are we doing here?” I mumble looking out on the bustling city. “We’re looking for information, this is a hub for information.” He informs shutting the crest down before standing. I kiss my teeth and make my way down to the hull, there I ready my blades only to pause when my eyes lock on to the Beskar armor. Oddly enough I’m hesitant to put it on but as I hear Din come down the latter I don’t let myself think on it while I start to pull it on.

I struggle to put it all on right, thankfully Din notices and helps me adjust it to a comfortable fit, he even went so far as to hold out the straps of my blade holster. I slip my arms through the holes and strap everything into place while Din himself readies his own weaponry. I toss my cloak over my shoulders just as Din lowers the ramp of the crest. Pulling up the hood as I walk behind Din before he closes it and sets the ground protocols.

I’ve never been to Coruscant before, the city life has my nerves on edge while I follow Din through the streets. His large shiny armor draws the attention of everyone walking around him, making their once continuous steps falter and make the way for him. The alley ways he takes us through are less crowded but the few people we do come across aren’t the ones I want to run into on a good day.

Finally we make it to a neon glowing Cantina, One that marked with gambling dice and a cocktail. Great. Mando, ever the gentleman opens the door and lets me in first before following me inside, the room of light up card tables and a catwalk comes to a stop. I don’t pay any mind and make my way to the bar, which is usually the go-to in situations like this. Mando follows behind me and while I perch myself up on a stool he chooses to lean against the bar facing the crowd, typical bounty hunter behavior.

The droid serving drink approaches when I wave him down, “How may I be of service today?” It questions, “Where would one go to get information in a place like this?” I question softly, the droid pauses, most likely scanning is hard drive for the programmed response to such a question. “The boss is who one would look for, unfortunately he is indisposed at the moment.” The droid responds, I let go of a sigh and tilt my head over to Mando, taking the cue Mando pulls his blaster on the droid. “How about you go ahead and ask anyway?” I chime sweetly, the droid doesn’t respond before scooting away. Mando then tucks away his blaster and continues to scan the room, five minutes later a Katooinian man dressed in a sloppy white suit approaches us.

“I heard there was trouble at the bar, didn’t expect to find a Mandalorian and his slave to be causing a fuss,” He grunts, I sent the man a smile and draw my blades, before he could move I’m already pressing the sharp tip into his fat belly. “I’m a Beast Hunter, not a slave. I make wild beasts pets to rich people like you. Don't be so unfortunate to be the one to experience how I do so.” I laugh roguishly, the man glares but swallows harshly before nodding. I sheath my blades before leaning back on the bar, “We’re looking for information, the droid said you were the one to talk to.” I hum, “I am.” He grunts in return. “Good.” I nod Mando then tosses a small pouch of credits at him, “Where can we find other Mandalorians?” I prompt. “I don’t have a need for your credits.” The Kantoonian seeths, pressing the credits back into Mando’s hand.

“However, there is something you can do for me.” He grins, I withhold an exasperated sigh. “And that is?” I grumble, “A friend of mine has a daughter, turning twenty tomorrow. I’ve offered to host her party, now while my security and hosts are good at their job they just aren’t going to fit the bill. I’m talking about underground royalty here, not up and coming mobsters.” The man grunts, crossing his arms with an eye roll. “Why would underground royalty party in a place like this?” I scoff letting my eyes scan the room, “Nobody cares who you are enough to spread the gossip, but cares enough not to get shot.” He answers, Damn mans got a point.

“We aren’t babysitters.” Mando pipes in, “Then I guess you can find your information elsewhere.” He shrugs. I roll my eyes and let out a sigh, “What my friend means here is that we aren’t going to follow her around all night just so she doesn’t fall on her drunk ass.” I huff. “She has her own people for that, all I need for you two is that she stays drunk, entertained, and safe. I don’t need her father coming after me because she got bored or drugged.” He grunts, I turn my head for Mando’s thoughts, the armored man nods once to give me the go ahead.

“Alright so we’ll keep the princess drunk and safe.” I huff with a shrug, “Excellent, I’ll need the Mandalorian on security, thankfully he’s scary enough for people to think twice and dangerous enough to stop those who don’t. Which leaves you to be the host, I can’t see all of you but from what I can see you could clean up pretty enough to pass off as a Hostess.” The man thought out scanning each of us. “You’ll have to lose the weapons and armor though,” He grunts waving his finger at said items, “She’s a—” Din starts but I held my hand up to stop him. “Fine, but I’ll be making sure he holds on to them for me.” I compromise pointing over at Mando, “I don’t care where they are as long as they aren’t on YOU.” The Kantoonian shrugs.

“One of the other girls can loan you a dress and whatever else you might need, and you’ll need to get familiar with the other security. They won’t be in direct sight but they’ll be around all night. I don’t need you shooting my employees because you caught them lurking.” The man grunts with a sour face as he waves over another girl before ushering Mando along.  

The girl in front of me smiles and pulls me along to the back room, labeled female staff. Inside the room is lined with mirror vanities and dressing racks, clothing items and shoes tossed everywhere else with stalls lining the back wall with a door labeled exit at the very end. “So what’s your name?” She questions, “(y/n).” I answer simply as I scan the room. “What do you actually do (y/n)?” She probes pushing me over to the racks of clothes, “Beast hunter.” I quip kicking away a shoe in my path. “How exciting!” She gushes, I look up at her to see her eyes shining. “Sorry, after living Coruscant for so long the buzz of the city becomes the norm, when people like you come in I can’t help wanting to hear the stories of the outer rim.” She rants, waving her hand.

I hum in response, now brushing off her innocent curiosity. “So the Twi’lek girl set a theme of pink, her color, go figure right? So now the entire staff has to dress like her.” She groans out pulling off a pink glittery dress and presses it on my chest, the dress is entirely too small and thankfully she agrees by putting it back. “I can’t tell your size because of the armor, you're going to have to take it off if you don’t want to wear a dress that has your ass or tits hanging out.” She huffs with an eye roll. I snort at her blunt suggestion before pulling off my cloak first, then the holsters to my swords, and finally the top half of my armor. Leaving me in nothing but a long sleeved shirt and the lower half of my armor.

“I hope you're not shy,” she snorted, looking down at the large pile of clothes, “Not really, just a precaution.” I hum holding still as she presses yet another sparkly pink dress to my chest. “I guess you're right, if you hunt beasts and all.” She nods pulling the dress away. I watch her shuffle through the room tossing every shoe she comes across to the side until she finds one, then continues to do the same thing until she finds the other. “That Mando you're with, are you like together?” She questions holding the shoes up to the dress. “We’re partners.” I answer shortly, not exactly a lie.

“Ah, I should have known. I always thought Mandalorians were solitary.” She laughs. “They tend to be, I mostly do the social talking during meets because he doesn’t like to.” I quip, “But if I had to say one thing about them… Is that once you're with them, you're with them until they decide otherwise.” I laugh, “For real?” She gasps wiping around so fast I think her head turned a one-eighty. “From what I gather.” I shrug with a smirk, the girl rolls her eyes as she tosses the shoes over her shoulder before searching for a new pair.

I watch her hunt through the room again until she comes across a new pair shoes, ones she approves of. She strides her way back over and snatches up a bag on her way, she aggressively stuffs the items into the bag before moving over to one of the many mirror vanities. She pushes and tosses several items around before picking up a few silver pieces of jewelry and stuffing them into the bag. “Alright.” She sighs out in relief, “This should be it, be back by noon tomorrow and we’ll get you ready.” She hums pushing the bag into my arms, “This is basically your starter pack, I recommend doing a bit of grooming when you get to the place your saying, but other than that anything else you’ll need will be done on sight tomorrow.” She chirps, I nodded and moved to pull back on my armor and discarded Items. I pull my hood over my head before tossing the bag over my shoulder. Once I exit the room I find Din leaning against the opposite wall waiting on me. “You ready?” I quip, the man nods once and we’re leaving the cantina.

“What’s that?” He questions quietly once we’re back on the safety of the ship, “A starter pack.” I joke with a shrug. “Do me a favor tomorrow and strap on actual knives and not vero-blades. I’m going to have use you as my walking armory and Vero-blades can’t be thrown for shit.” I huff pulling off my cloak.  “Sure thing Cyare.” He laughs, I groan pulling off my armor, “How you’ve done this all your life if beyond me.” I huff rubbing at my muscles. “Its because I’ve done it all my life.” He informs pushing his thumbs into just the right spot. I cry out in relief and the man behind me has the audacity to laugh, “If I didn’t want to be a single parent I’d kill you.” I sneer playfully, “You wouldn’t kill me even if we didn’t have the kid.” he muses, pressing his forehead to mine. I huff and roll my eyes, “Yeah, I thought so.” He chuckles.

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