#because damn realizing that stuff hits like a brick

[luvevee]

Idk maybe it's fine to accept Sada and Turo are just really shitty parents who neglected and abandoned Arven instead of pulling the shortest straws in an attempt to make them seem like they were just sad workaholics who got too caught up in their work like a bad hallmark movie

[our-transgender-experiences]

Okay so I'm a gender non-conforming transmasc (I mean I like femme presenting but I also kind of just present this way because I cannot pass for the life of me so why even bother if I look hot femme) but sometimes I forget that to other people I don't look like a guy.

Like I'm just over here in my little queer headspace thinking that I obviously give trans vibes and that I'm obviously not a girl. I look at myself in the mirror and think, "Okay I'm giving they/them lesbian at the very least" (I'm not a they/them lesbian I'm an a-spec achillean transmasc but like those are the vibes I give). I'm surrounded by people who use my pronouns correctly and call me man, dude, bro and all that good stuff. I like legit forget that to everybody else I look like a teenage girl.

So imagine my surprise when someone in my class tells me "You don't look like a grandpa, you look like a teenage girl!" (Don't ask for context, it's a long story lol) Don't even get me started on the fact that this girl is a repeat offender in the area of transphobia because DEAR GOD (motherfucker was talking with her friends abt how I shouldn't be upset when someone misgenders me bc I'm gnc)!!!! She knows I'm trans and don't use she/her but for some reason she feels the need to tell me this? Anyway, I immediately plummet out of my silly little queer headspace and realize I do, in fact, look like a teenage girl. Like somebody's goth girlfriend. I look like a teenage girl who lurks at Hot Topic and calls her friends and stays on the phone for three hours ranting about how ugly Lululemon clothes are or something (not that there's anything wrong with that, but god does it bring me dysphoria). It hits me like a brick wall. For some reason my dysphoric little brain decided not only did I need to think these thoughts, but I also needed to analyze every little detail on my body to confirm that I do, in fact, look like a teenage girl.

Jesus Christ I am so ready to get out of this damn school it's so hard being queer in the south.

-- 💅 anon

that sucks and i'm sorry you have to deal with that. You are still very much a guy, i also decided to google lululemon clothes, and they look so uncomfortable.

[nightwanderers12081]

SOSOOSOSOS

remember that small snippet I posted of that story i was writing?

I finished it

//TW/CW, Smth similar to a Panic Attack, Medical stuff such as stiches n cleaning wounds, Injuries(no description/not graphic), Undressing(to treat those injuries), and medical related drugging(smth used to calm someone down)

Let us know if we need to censor for anything else

"He could barely make out them talking in the blur that was his current vision, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. It was as if he was underwater, the two voices muffled by the crashing waves around him. They wanted to hurt them, he was sure of it. Sure he couldn't make our their faces but he knew enough to know they despised him. He heard them rant about him everyday. He was in danger

His mind kept screaming at him. Move! Run! Leave! Do something, But he was frozen on the floor. Fear gripped him tightly and refused to let go. He thrashed against it, against his own body, desperately trying to escape the terror that was his parents, But all he could manage was a measly growl.

The orange man took a step closer. Danny's mind raced as he pushed back against the brick wall that stood behind him. Pain shot through his aching body. He yelped, curling in on himself. Shutting his eyes, he desperately prayed that his wounds would stop aching. Then maybe he could fly out of here with no problems. But no, the scratches and bites left by Spectra and that damn shapeshifter had to have been deep, because of course he couldn't get off easy for once. His life's a mess.

Phantom didn't notice the man move closer while his wounds stung at him. He wasn't ready for the hands that suddenly came at him and pulled him close.

His eyes shot open, and his vision was flooded by orange. He hissed and pushed against the ghosthunter with all that he could, but it was to no avail. He wasn't strong enough to brute force his way out this time.

If he had been in the right state of kind, he would've thought twice before hurting his parents. But he wasn't thinking straight right now, he was scared, he wanted out.

Phantom resorted to alternative methods to get out. His claw-like gloves came down on the orang hazmat suit, trying to pry out of the death grip he was placed in. No matter how much he scratched and thrashed around, however, he couldn't escape.

A cry escaped his throat as he continued in vain to release himself. He didn't want this. He already had to go through the hell that was fighting Spectra, why did he have to suffer more? Did the world hate him that much?

He heard a door close behind him. Great, he didn't even realize they had gotten him into the GAV. The revelation only brought more panic. Phantom became more desperate, his movements becoming more and more crazed. Along with his movement, he was more vocal. Cries and screams filled the air as he tried desperately to pry himself away from his captor.

A hand to his jaw and lifted it up, exposing a small strip of his neck. Before he could react, he felt a small poke in his neck.

Everything became fuzzy, Phantom weakly hit his captor before exhaustion caught up with him. He stopped fighting, opting to lean into the warmth that the man was radiating.

Phantom couldn't find it in himself to care much anymore, or think for a matter of fact. All he knew was that the person holding him was warm and comfortable, and he didn't want to move anymore.

Everything hurt, he was so tired, he just wanted to rest. A hand went into his hair, stroking his head lightly. It felt nice. A rumbling hum filled the room.

He felt a slight sway as he heard soft thumping beneath him. Distantly, he knew he was moving somewhere, he couldn't bother to care anymore though.

A whine escaped his throat as he was lowered down onto a hard and cold surface. It was alot less comfortable then his previous arrangement. He tried to curl in on himself for warmth, but 2 hands held him in place. The grip on him was surprisingly gentle and full of care, He didn't understand why.

A zipper could be heard as Phantom's skin was quickly exposed to the cool air in the GAV. Goosebumps quickly spread across his skin. He shifted uncomfortably, a whine in the back of his throat. The back of his mind screamed that he was in danger, that they would cut him open.

A hand was in his hair again, Petting him gently. Distantly, He could make out someone speaking to him, "Shhh, Its okat sweetie. We're trying to help" it gently coaxed. Those simple words calmed his nerves, He wasn't too sure why. He relaxed again, as his gloves and belt were removed, then his suit was slipped off.

He laid there for a little while, drifitng in and out of his head. The cold of the table was no longer bothersome. He heard a soft thump besides him, as if something was set down. A small click followed suit.

The voice from before said something once more, "Im sorry sweetie, but this is going to hurt a little", That was the only warning he got before a wet wipe was pressed down against his wounds.

He winced at the stinging, no other reaction made. He was used to this kind of pain. The back of his mind filled in that the wipe probably had been soaked in sterile saline.

Once the wipes were removed, something started painfully poking around his injuries. Phantom shut his eyes and held his breath, but a quiet whimper slipped out when the poking had made its way to the slash on his abdomen.

A different voice responded, deeper then the one from before, "Im sorry kiddo, we dont have any antiseptic on us right now, I swear this wont take long" It apologied. Phantom took his word for it.

After what felt like hours, the poking stopped. He let out a sight of relief. Besides him, he could hear a faint rustling, but he couldn't care less about that at the moment.

A fabric that his brain quickly supplied was gauze wrapped different sections of his body. He felt a bandage being placed on his cheek, it ran down to the middle of his neck. He paid no mind to it.

Afterwards, He was lifted ever so slighty. He let out a displeased grunt in responce, he was exhausted, he just wanted to sleep. A quiet chuckle was heard from above him, as he felt his hazmat suit being slipped back onto himself. The arms holding him moved unfer his small frame and lifted him into the air. He hissed slightly.

It only took a few seconds before he was placed down again. This time, the surface was incredibly soft. His head was elevated slightly, on another soft surface. He deduced that his head was ontop of a pillow. A light and incredibly soft fabric was laid over him, which he snuggled into immediately. A soft purr emitted from his chest.

Two straps came over him, the sound of two buckles following. The straps felt secure, but not tight enough to limit slight movements.

A wave of comfort washed over him. The injuries he sustained from the fight earlier that day didn't sting as much anymore, he felt warm, and most importantly, he felt safe. He felt at ease.

The people who brought him here are nice. that was the last thought before he allowed himself to relax fully. He slipped away into the welcoming void that was his subconscious. The voices around him slowly were drowned out as he fell into a deep slumber."

And thats it! We want to turn this into a fic on Ao3, if we did this would be the first chapter! We have alot of ideas for this story! ~ Ender/Whisper

[dbarn]

Progress?

So. My current WIP. (Yes, I only have one. I'm single-processing like that. I have no doubt that I could start five or six different stories, but the probability that I'd ever complete any of them would go down exponentially with each additional one.)

Anyway, my current WIP. I worked on it like a madman for about a month straight, until it hit 100 pages. And then I hit a brick wall. Didn't know how to keep the story flowing because I was freewheeling, just writing almost as stream-of-consciousness without much forethought or planning. I realized that I needed to step back and give some serious thought as to how the remainder would play out, and the possibility that I'd need to backtrack a little and rewrite a few pages.

And that wall-hitting was about five weeks ago. Since then, my avoidant tendencies have been going strong. I've been catching up on the work (like, the literal "thing that pays my bills" stuff) that I'd pushed to one side. I bought a new videogame and played it through. (Horizon Forbidden West, for the record.) I read a few other fanfics, including one outside my chosen fandom. And yes, I even gave a little thought to developing the plot et cetera. Just not as much as I should have.

Tonight, I opened the document and started writing again. Only got a page or two done, but it's a start. I'm hoping that it's enough to give me that feeling of momentum so that tomorrow, I can grind through another few pages. There's no deadline, no one clamoring to read this thing, and that's working both for me and against me. But it did feel nice to actually get some damn writing done for a change.

[cr0g-0]

I posted 1,541 times in 2022

365 posts created (24%)

1,176 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@baka-monarch

@brick-a-doodle-do

@never-hydrated

@pomodoko

@oh-i-need-a-name

I tagged 317 of my posts in 2022

#smog ramble - 230 posts

#mcyt g/t - 69 posts

#stranger things g/t - 33 posts

#anon - 18 posts

#tiny!wilbur - 18 posts

#heartstopper g/t - 17 posts

#owl house g/t - 16 posts

#tw vore - 10 posts

#giant!tommy - 10 posts

#grounded au - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#literally what in the ever loving fuck is this shit show of an end credit jesus christ. venom need not share a universe with this mess pls

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

For the grounded SBI au

SBI are a family that live in a normal house, Phil with 3 kids named Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy.

Wilbur likes to experiment with size and one days is able to make a prototype device that can shrink things

He takes it outside and is about to test it when Techno and Tommy come out for some reason idk

They get into a argument and next thing you know, they’re all shrink to the size of ants, and are stranded in their backyard with no way to grow back or call for help

Now they have to survive in their own backyard, agains bugs, spiders, and their giant dad who is worried sick when all 3 of his sons have gone missing.

I love this so I will elaborate-mostly because science class is boring rn djsbdh-

Wilbur loves science(unlike me lmao)

Wilbur likes to tinker with equations and really test the boundaries of reality. Whatever is considered impossible, Wilbur is trying to disprove and make possible. Any means necessary. He'll rearrange equations, change how they formatted, change the numbers-he trys to do everything possible to break it and change it to his liking.

Of course he was intrigued with the square cube law equation. It was honestly the most interesting because well-how could you possible break it? It's pretty much impossible to have minuscule or gigantic people right?

Well Wilbur was on the cusp of making it plausible....

To bad his brothers were being so damn loud-

Techno had been forced to play mario kart but Tommy was losing which lead to the two of them playfully arguing...

In Wilbur's room.

So Wilbur, extremely annoyed and tired, kicked them out and angrily finished making the equation, not realizing he had made it plausible if a little...well...iffy...

He worked for a long time that week, constructing blueprints and creating the machine, skipping family outings and other events much to the displeasure of Phil...

But not really Wilbur's brothers. They were fine with not talking to him. He had kicked them out of their room so he could finish his boring as equations.

Wilbur finishes it by the end of the month and he his elated, already setting it up outside to test it out.

And then Techno and Tommy come outside. They try and explain that Phil was forcing them to get Wilbur because he wanted to celebrate but Wilbur doesn't care-He thinks they're gonna fuck with his project and an argument escalates from that point until Tommy hits the machine and it starts whirring until a bright, purple colored flash hits all three of them and they pass out.

It isn't till they hear Phil's extremely loud, booming voice that they wake up to see to continue their argument...

At least until Techno points out that everything around them is huge and that's when the true gravity of the situation hits.

At first Wilbur is overjoyed. The device worked! He broke the square cube law! This could make him and his family rich!

And then they get chased by a spider and then Wilbur really sees the problem with what the machine did....

After they get chased though, they find and odd looking dome and head inside to see...tiny equipment and files?

Techno and Tommy inquire if this was Wilbur's stuff but...

It isn't.

46 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

#4

technovore crumbs? 🥺 any to spare? headcanons or stories?

Mmm I am unsure if this wants Techno nomfing or Techno being nomfed so I'll make headcannons for both-

Tiny-Techno does not like being nomfed...so he says but everyone can really tell he doesn't mind it and he outright asks to be nomfed by Phil.

Phil always asks him if he wants to be nommed and he goes very slow and is extremely gentle. He is the one who is aloud to nom Techno the most and Techno trusts him the most.

Wilbur usually just picks him up and plays around with him in his mouth before nomfing him-Wilbur often, sporadically noms people because its funny but he knows when to save nomfs for another time or when to be more comforting druing nomfs

Tommy doesn't usually nom Techno because he usually pretends to be staunchly against being nomfed by Tommy but Tommy is sometimes aloud to be nommed.

He will usually just kinda vibe and relax after being nomfed since he doesn't actually mind it and he usually finds it as a way to destress and bond with his family

Giant- Techno sometimes like's to be a little mischievous and just scoop his whole family up and spook them a little bit before nomming them. They all go along with it and know he's joking.

Sometimes they'll seek out Techno for noms because they need rest or just want to relax but when Techno see's anyone who looks upset, like if Tommy had a bad day or Wilbur was stressing over something Techno will just go and find then, regardless of where they are and pick them up before gently nomming them.

He likes to gently nibble and lick at his family before noms as a way to either be comforting or teasing. Techno also enjoys just finding anyone he's friends with and he just to licks them. He purrs quite often.

I hope you like these headcannons! Sorry they took so long to get out-

Asks take a long time to get out-

56 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

#3

A long awaited post from us since it’s been waaaaaaay to long since a post!! I do hope you enjoy part 1 of many

P.s-This fic will be uploaded part by part but as of now it’s being written all on the same doc so if the beginnings seem a bit abrupt that is why!

Tw-Accidental Dehumanization, Safe Noms, Talk of Death, Talks of Fatal noms(Doesn’t happen)

Total word count: 3021

———————————

A Great Divide Between You and Me (When did you become so cruel) [I]

———————————

Tommy was…well…apprehensive about this whole idea. Don’t get him wrong-he’d do it if Wilbur was a hundred percent sure but still…he wasn’t too sure about this whole…pretending to actually eat Wilbur.

“C’mon Tommy! You said you wanted to do a prank that would shock and scare the hell out of everyone and this couldn’t be a better prank!” The borrower exclaimed. Wilbur was excited by the prospect of scaring his friends on April fools. Every other year Tommy and he had either made them laugh till they couldn’t stand or they ticked them off a little. 

Wilbur wanted to see what scaring them would be like. Mix it up and such.

“I know I know…it’s just…you think they might take it the wrong way?” Wilbur shook his head. 

“Tommy-Toms-no one will think you legitimately decided to eat me.” 

“I mean-I guess if you're sure then…ok fine-I’ll do it. But you owe me a fuck ton of ice cream and shit. I’m doing this for you after all.” Tommy stubbornly crossed his arms, huffing. Wilbur just let out a bubbly laugh. 

“Alright alright fine I’ll buy you some ice cream tomorrow if you can effectively pull the wool over their eyes and convince them you did the deed successfully.”

Tommy let out what sounded like a whine and a groan, nodding slowly and dramatically as Tommy usually did. “If I fail can I still get a single tub of ice cream?”

The brunet hummed, closing his eyes and tapping his finger on his chin in thought. Tommy blinked at Wilbur with a deadpan look. “I swear to prime I will legitimately eat you regardless of this stupid prank if you don’t buy me ice cream-“

Wilbur paused and for a split second, Tommy swore he saw fear but if Wilbur had been afraid? Well, he wasn’t showing it anymore because the borrower was doubled over in a fit of laughs and Tommy felt his worry melt away. “Ok ok no need to threaten me child-I’ll buy you a single tub if you fail ok?”

Tommy grumbled, pretending to be pissed off about it but he was grinning wide. “Yeah, that's fair big man. Makes sense to me but make sure it’s mint chip or you're dead-“ He jokingly growled, poking the other gently. 

Wilbur stumbled back slightly and lightly swatted at Tommy’s finger. “Mhm-ok sure Toms. Like you would ever kill your favorite brother-”

“Nope Techno is actually my favorite brother-Sorry Wilby.” Tommy shrugged and Wilbur snorted, rolling his eyes disbelievingly.

“Oh please child-you gave me the nickname Wilby. Are you seriously gonna sit here and tell me, out of both me and Techno, he’s the favorite?” “Well-I-oh just shut up Wil-” The blond spluttered out, his face having turned a bright red in embarrassment. Curse Wilbur for always being right-

Getting back on track, Tommy scooped Wilbur up, holding him gently in cupped hands. Wilbur settled quickly, getting comfortable and preparing mentally. 

“Alright well let’s get this prank on the road hmm? I have some morons to scare!” The brunet laughed before nodding his head. 

“Let us get on with it. I have a nap I need to take-“ He joked as Tommy brought Wilbur closer to his face and more specifically, towards his mouth.

Wilbur tensed up just a little, part of his mind still screaming his life was in danger just like it had the first time he had been found…and by all accounts he had been in danger that first time but after all the bonding and movie nights they had really become a family for him…

But of course he was still somewhat frightened of the whole thing.

And he wouldn’t lie but some of the things his friends said to him made him…immensely uncomfortable…not that he’d say anything on the subject. He didn’t want them to think he couldn’t handle what was obviously a joke…

But hey-he wouldn’t be seeing any of them till dinner tonight. First up, Tommy would go and kind of discreetly hint before outright admitting that he had ‘eaten’ Wilbur to Phil, Techno. Then it was on to Tubbo and Ranboo if Tommy was able to get a hold of them. They were always busy trying to prank each other the day after so one of them was usually shopping for prank supplies  depending on the year. Then, if they couldn’t get a hold of either of them they went to meet up at Dream’s before going back home for dinner where Tommy would reveal that everything was fine.

Wilbur was particularly interested to hear what Skeppy thought of the whole thing considering he was also a borrower like him. 

Skeppy was one of, if not thee, best at deciphering he and Tommy’s pranks. One year, they had pretended not to know each other and most everyone was actually convinced Tommy and him had amnesia or something. The two always made sure the lead up to a prank was flawless so it actually felt and seemed real. The month before the amnesia prank they had both been ‘having issues remembering where things were’ and ‘remembering Wilbur was a borrower or that Tommy was human.’ 

See the full post

84 notes - Posted August 6, 2022

#2

Borrower world building au borrower world building-

I wrote all of this on discord with the input and ideas of @wendy130 and @bio-nerds-corner

They are pretty much the reason I got this out as fast as I did-

And the word count-holy hecking heck it got very big within the span of a few days(like-three-)

So yay- i hope you all enjoy! It’s one of my more lore things and any questions with lore you can just ask me-

I encourage questions-

I will brain rot about this for ages and ages

Truth falls out and boils up till it burns

Tw: Mentions of vore(none happen), dehumanization, disturbingly cruel ideas, fear, swearing

Word count: 3844(Largest one yet I believe)

Part one of Borrowing From The Internet au

-——————

It had been just another casual stream.

Nothing bad should have happened.

Naturally things went south the moment he went onto youtube, videos about borrowers showing up.

The videos themselves didn’t seem too bad but his recommendation was filled with the videos and that was what made him worried. He hoped nobody would make any comments on it…

A donation appeared on his screen, and he tensed, his tail already anxiously curling around his leg as he read the donation. "Hey what are your opinions on borrowers? Cause like-I think they make too big of a deal of things like the 'Massive Accident' at that one restaurant..." His voice trailed off and he grit his teeth, his anxious feeling vanishing as it was replaced by raw, annoyance and anger. He took a deep breath in. 'Don't let anyone see that this stupid dono phased you-chat'll know something is fucky otherwise.' "Yeah, massive accident my ass-it was more like a genocide of entire bloodlines, families and friends-I'd really appreciate if chat didn’t bring up borrowers." Wilbur huffed, making sure to privately message a mod to ban the words and sentence 'Massive Accident' as fast as possible.

He had tough skin. He could normally handle shit like this but this time it was really getting under his skin. It was one thing if someone said it to him while he was in person but when someone in chat actively made sure to mention borrowers in the one setting, he thought he was safe from the world's mistreatment and lies about borrowers.

Wilbur was shaken back to focus from a voice call from Phil and he tried to smooth out his frazzled tail, slowly uncurling it from his leg, being as discreet as plausible in order to avoid people possibly seeing the appendage.

He clicked the answer on the call and plastered a more neutral expression, forcing a small smile.

"Hey Phil!"

"Hey Wil! How's the late night streaming?"

See the full post

85 notes - Posted March 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hey guys this is kinda an important mcyt g/t post

This community on here is dying.

As many know, a lot of people are losing interest and getting other ones, all the more power to them!/gen

But the issue isnt creators.

Its consumers.

When you read something you like reblog. Don’t like it. Reblog it. Leave a nice comment in your reblog. Send asks to the creator be friendly share thoughts and ideas! We all implore you too majority of the time!

When you don’t though it really leaves people feeling unappreciated and more importantly-

Unmotivated.

So that means when you see a lack of any content for a very long time with no updates(For us at least as I can only speak to personal experience) that means that the person who made it may really need some positivity and some motivation! You can give them that with a simple comment and reblog.

I am begging you as a fellow consumer and a fellow creator of mcyt g/t content-

Start reblogging and commenting and sending asks and just interacting with us all.

My motivation in this community is still here. For how much longer is to remain unseen. I have so many projects I wanna do and many others as well but we cant do it without support!

So. Here are a few of my favorite blogs you can support.

@plant-gt-thought-box -Creates Fluff and has a wonderful superhero au fic on their ao3!

@wendy130 -Doesn’t post often but it is a joy looking at the posts they have!

@x-pair-o-dice-x -Has FANTASTIC art and writing! Check them out and interact!

@bittydragon -Posts some wonderful shit on tumblr and ao3 and was the whole reason I’m here making this tumblr post!

@aslitheryprinx -Delightful art and fics also on ao3 and tumblr!

@baka-monarch -Answers so many asks you’ll have a blast I promise!

@cyncerity -SPECTACULOR ART! Wonderful aus and so much content!

@apersonstories -WORKING ON SOME WONDERFUL ANGST and is a very friendly chill person!

@random-tinies -Has some of thee best hermit craft art and dsmp g/t art ever!

@a-smol-storm-gt-blog -Also really good hermit craft art and g/t!

I know I’m missing so many others but I am unable to recall them at this time to @ I do apologies.

Again, please reblog and please please comment. It helps so much.

Thank you. If you read this long I thank you. Thank you so very much.

118 notes - Posted September 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[supersailorgoku]

I got into this stuff all backwards: I’m a diehard Boys fan and got into SPN over a year ago from a coworker while I was gushing over The Boys TV/Comic adaption heavy lifting (especially Soldier Boy; that is a whole essay in itself and I’ve never seen a trick pulled like that for a character that was on maybe 3-4 issues of the comics entire run and how it’s a total Rubik’s Cube move while making him somehow less sympathetic in his TV role - nevermind the entire lifetime it would take to talk about the clear Homelander-shaped elephant in the room, the actual groundwork of a true Kripkeverse and - well, that’s another post!)

My darling coworker - that I would later recognize her amazing, always equipped custom earrings that said JERK and BITCH for entirely different reasons other than social commentary/affirmation - she literally yelped and was like WOODS YOU ARE WATCHING SUPERNATURAL RIGHT NOW YOU ARE GOING TO SIT AND WATCH AN EPISODE and I did and that episode was Scoobynatural S13E18

I was sold so hard it was like a brick was dropped on me. I’m mad in some ways that it was my first whole ass experience because, as I would find later, almost every episode - some Buick-sized exceptions - is a “pilot” episode and you’ll never go wrong just jumping into that pool and hitting shuffle. How rare. Due to that crucial first impression, I cannot do anything but view Supernatural on the shelf that houses both Red Dwarf and Farscape and I say that with complete, utter, gibbering love. Supernatural, to me, is perfect example of any-size-fits. Get in, the water’s fine.

It really is for everybody. It’s got something for everyone and everyone where I live has fucking seen it because they filmed episodes here so it’s one of my few shows - if any - I feel actually talking to with a person who is looking right at me and within striking distance when I say “Bad Day At Black Rock S3E3 and Dog Dean Afternoon S9E5 and should be shown in college-level courses.” I’m real brave like that.

But that crucial introduction; the sheer coincidence of just avoiding a damn near two decades of this particular piece of media made me realize I’ve never been paying much attention to the internet. tumblr least of all and tumblr - man.

This place is an battleground: bloodied and cracked with bullets, craters, and ghosts and angels and acres upon acres of tapestries and paintings and offerings and so many goddamn words and miles of poetry and I’m taking a tourist walk through the settled, pockmarked earth. I can sit on a bench, made on the backs of fans, built around a rock with a plaque filled with names that never end - but it thrives. It hums with life.

I want to divine with extreme patience, using a stack of dvd and blu-rays - all passed from second-hand sources - (with their owners names and I feel like I know them already; there’s that rarity again) - and copious amounts of unmeasurable time ask the hoof prints and the bullet holes and the angelic ghosts what, exactly, happened here.

[psychomorphary]

I've had two revelations tonight.

Number 1:

I subconsciously suck in my stomach. I've just realized that I do it all the time on accident. I have to actively think about NOT clenching my stomach. I looked up a little about it, and clenching your stomach can be a symptom of trauma/anxiety/other mental health problems. It can also cause other issues, like incontinence. I have incontinence, at least when it comes to sneezing or laughing too hard. I finally realized that I've been clenching my stomach on a regular basis since I was a freaking kid! Probably because of childhood trauma and never really having any emotional support. I am anxious a lot too, ever since I was a kid. I'm so traumatized that it's caused physical harm to my body; I pee when I sneeze. I'm pissed that I was fucked over like that.

I'm gonna start by trying to work on the stomach thing myself. And I'm gonna tell my therapist about it on Tuesday.

Number 2:

The night is getting late, and I'm getting sad. But I'm kind of reveling in it. I've just been struggling for so long, mentally, that I'm used to being sad and stuff. It's what I know; it's MY normal. So when I started to feel sad and angsty tonight, I reveled in it, instead of trying to fight it.

I finally realized these two things, and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm glad I finally realized, but damn, I feel tired and heavy now. I guess I won't be reveling in the sadness anymore right now cuz I'm take a shower and then go to bed. I need some rest to begin to process all this...

[looloolily]

Diary of a Marine Girlfriend Ch. 2

Hi all, thank you to those who’ve read and enjoy my story. This is going to be a three part tale. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Word count: 737

A fews day of denial pass and you enter the chapter of emptiness. You say goodbye, you cry, but it still hasn't hit you yet. You try to give yourself a wake up call that you won't see him for three months. No hugs. No kisses. No cuddles. No arguments. Just Silence, for the next three months. However, everything that goes up must come down and the realization hits you. A few days of empty messages, a few days of untouched skin, a few days of coldness. When it finally hits, it hits you like a ton of bricks. There's an emptiness deep inside of you. Your heart starts to feel like your stomach after you haven't eaten all day. You try to fill the void that seems to have consumed you, but you end up feeling emptier than before. You can't sleep at first. You can't figure out why but then you realize it's because you haven't said "I love you," you haven't said "goodnight." You wear his clothes every night. You adorned your body in the football hoodie he gave you when you were shivering in the movie theater. It was the same hoodie that felt almost as warm and comforting as his arms. It smells just like him and when you close your eyes, you swear that he’s right there next to you.

-----------

You clutch that damn bear he got you every night too. You took his cologne before he left and you douse that bear in it, because it makes you believe that when you hold it, you’re holding him. And you sleep, or try to,  like that every night, for three months. You’re afraid to wash his clothes, in fear of losing any remnants of him left in them. You check your phone constantly, waiting for a message that will never come. And then every time you hear a phone buzz you jump to check yours, only to have your heart drop when you see it's not him, it wouldn’t be. You're lonely most days, you look at photos, you cry, you hug your pillow wishing for that day when he comes home to come faster. It feels like forever. The days go fast, but the hours in the days feel like an eternity. Sometimes you'll do things that you used to do together, but now you're left alone. It doesn’t feel the same. Sometimes you forget how to do certain things because you're so used to having someone by your side. You stare out your window everyday waiting for the mailman to bring that holy first letter. And everyday you get a little sad because there's nothing but bills and ads. But it gets better....slightly.

When that first letter comes, you swear you've never been happier. You race to your room wanting to tear it open, but hold yourself back. You have to preserve it, protect it, as if it were a delicate flower. You read it and you read it again and you read it again until you can recite it backwards. You frantically search for some paper and a pen and pour your heart out onto the page. You stuff it in an envelope and send it out in less than 20 minutes. And you repeat this cycle of sending and reading letters over and over again. You read his letters every night as you lay in bed  because it feels like you're talking to your marine. You write all the time now. Whether you want to tell him about your day or just want to tell him you miss him, you write, and you always feel a little better.

But you find hope. You pray more, you speak to the stars and the sky. You whisper to yourself at night, telling your marine you love him, as if by some miracle he can hear you. You count down the days. It hurts a little less. You can finally sleep. In fact you read every single letter you get before you go to sleep every night. Your days brighten and the clouds go away. You'll replay memories in your head, you'll make up new scenarios in your head of what you would be doing, what you will do once he returns. It makes those eternal hours feel shorter. But don't get ahead of yourself, the bad days still exist, and when they show up, they’re worse than before.

[scrollsfromarebornrealm]

wayward (grand)daughter 11

The skies over Sharlayan were gray and getting darker as Reinhardt tapped a foot.  He’d volunteered to pick up Mathye’s library order, but Noumenon at the moment was extremely busy.  Reinhardt had offered to wait, and one of the mammets had given him a wait-token that would buzz when it was his turn. 

“Next time I should let Mathye get his own damn books.”  He muttered, peering up at the sky.  It wasn’t the fact that he didn’t like Old Sharlayan, it was that the entire island just felt...slightly off to him.  Or rather, the weather always felt wrong.  Or maybe it was Labyrinthos that unsettled him.  Either way, he wasn’t a fan of the city-state. 

The sky changes color any more it’ll match the damn gazeb-  Pain exploded in Reinhardt’s mind, his brain felt as if it’d been hit by a levin-bolt and suddenly he couldn’t see as his eyes glazed over, agony tipped-claws latching onto his very being and pulling--

And suddenly the dragoon could see again.  He was still on the gazebo, but soft sounds were coming from his right.  Reinhardt looked over and down--and then felt as if he’d slammed into a brick wall.  Sitting down across from him on the floor, her back pressed against the gazebo’s seat bottom...was Riven. 

But it wasn’t the Riven that he knew.  Horror paralyzed Reinhardt as he realized who he was looking at--this was Riven as Kari, when she was in the hands of her stepmother.  A nightmare that he’d only read about--now brought to life in front of him.  For Kari was gorging herself on food-one hand holding a sandwich, the other a bun, and she was tearing into them both as if the food would suddenly disappear or someone possibly come up on her and try to steal her bounty.  Reinhardt knew that feeling, knew that desperation.  Remembered it from his time in the Brume--the handful of times he’d actually gotten something hot to eat, trying to take it slow because if you ate fast you got sick but you just couldn’t help it , it tasted so good and if you didn’t eat quick the other kids or adults might notice--

He knew how clothing hung on a too-frail body, how to tuck and tie fabric to try and make it look presentable.  He knew how to stuff scraps of same-colored fabric in old, holey shoes to try and make them look decent.  He could see flashes of the bruises on Kari’s arms beneath the fabric, and if he had to guess that uniform was at least two sizes too big.  Then movement out of the corner of his eye made Reinhardt whip about.  Two men-a hyur and an elezen--were standing not too far away from the gazebo.  From his location, Kari’s back was to them, and if she wasn’t so invested in her meal, she could probably hear what they were saying.  The dragoon forced himself to look at the pair, who were arguing in low voices.  He needed to remember everything he could, if he let himself be distracted...

Wait!  The elezen had turned, showing more of his face.  Reinhardt stared-he’d seen the man before, but it had been on a page, another horror story he’d read.  Nionaut Trigelle, the man Kari had been sold to, who had been her supposed killer--and whose body parts had been found strung up in Scholar’s Harbor.  A noise made Reinhardt look back down, Kari had finished her meal.  She’d taken the empty basket into her lap and was looking at it sadly.  With a sniff, she wiped at her eyes with the back of her free hand. 

“Maybe they’ll have leftovers after the exam.”  She whispered.  Reinhardt’s gaze flicked to the books that were next to her, quickly taking in the titles. With a sigh, Kari hooked the basket’s handle over one elbow, moving to pick up the books with her other hand.  She started to rise to her feet--

As at the same time, Nionaut was walking away from his companion, a scowl on his features.  Reinhardt’s gaze flicked to the elezen--and then realization suddenly struck him.

Waitaminute.  One of the missing pieces in the investigation in Kari’s death had been just how Nionaut had been able to get at her to begin with.  His social circle and Camilla’s had never interacted, and yet somehow...  Nionaut had come to a stop, staring at Kari’s back.  Shock was on his features--he hadn’t expected to see the teen suddenly appear. 

He thought nobody was around.  Unaware of her surroundings, Kari started to make her way back to the Studium.  Nionaut snapped out of his daze-and started to follow her--and as Reinhardt threw up a hand in a desperate attempt to stop him, he felt himself starting to lose grip on his senses once more...

Reinhardt sucked in a breath, staggering as the migraine suddenly eased.  His eyes flew open, and he stared ahead for several moments as he realized what he’d seen.

“He thought nobody was around.”  He breathed.  Kari had been sitting on the gazebo’s floor.  She’d been hiding--hiding so she could eat in peace.

She was sitting on the floor, nobody can see you when you’re on the gazebo floor--not unless they’re actually entering it!  Fury, he thought she overheard him!  He thought she overheard him and...

“Followed her.”  As soon as Reinhardt said the words aloud, he knew he’d found the answer.

“He followed her back home.”

--------------------------

Master post for Poison Ewer

Also for better context :D  The gazebo setup in question.

blue: reinhardt orange: riven red: astrid’s murder victim and his companion

[brick-a-doodle-do]

What a lovely brick of motivation, I'm not stuck to the seat and unable to get distracted—oh look, YouTube videos!

But yessssss

I would love prompts, mainly not g/t bc I have never written that before and am focusing on a hero&villain story rn

Have any in mind (or that you completely make up or would like to see) I could use for a story where the very strong mc villain falls for the super weak hero? 👀

And any rambles you have, they're all so lovely...they need spammed into creation but I can't think of any to specifically ask about

okay hi im sorry for late reply

dshghsdnf unfortunately the sacred brick does not have a defense mechanism against youtube :'D

also sorry this became a whole plot instead of a prompt lmao i can redo if you'd like

okay so imagine villain was determined to take down hero, no matter what happened--like villain was dead set on ending hero's entire career. but, of course, love gets in the way.

after their first encounter, villain realizes just how unready hero is for this position. sure, they've been around for a while, but that was just for basic good-deeds. now that there's an opponent with worthy weapons, a knowledge for every kind of fighting possible, and most importantly: a goal, hero is falling. villain knows that this'll be an easy win

second fight in and villain is so aware of everything hero says, the way their words are almost just as malicious as villain's are. and villain finds this incredibly likeable. damn it, maybe this won't be easy.

but villain still continues. but they see a change in everything. their own actions, hero's actions, both of their feelings, all that normal moral-human stuff that they thought they were immune to

the fall starts small, where villain does things like holds back on hand-to-hand combat, uses slightly less lethal weapons, and keeps their movements pleasantly predictable.

but what this is doing to hero, is making them think that they're growing stronger. being able to predict villains strikes and foot-pattern ahead of time does nothing for their ego, and when villain stumbles back like they've been hit hard, it's a terrible boost of motivation.

villain still gets all lovey-dovey though, and starts making it more obvious. they straight up stop fighting sometimes because he they landed too hard of a blow on hero. and their activity significantly drops. until it picks up again because of villain's fucking desire to just see hero, even if they're behind a mask.

some stuff happens in between, but it's important to note the ending:

hero gets all up in their head, making them think that they're the shit. villain is also in their head, all tangled up in thoughts about them and hero. so when their newest battle arises, the two of them have two very strong weak points. villain is easily distracted, hero has acquired faux strength and can be taken down at any time by all-powerful-villain.

and that happens. hero corners them very smartly, and villain has no choice but to defend themself.

does hero die? who knows, that's up to you :D

sorry this is kinda shit, i tried to make actual scenes a bit loose so you can do something with them

anyways i hope this suffices :]

[griim]

@itsasset​ asked; “i’m sorry, have we met?” 👀

Working with Sam had become easier over time. It was probably because neither could do this alone. And, even when the two seemed to get on each other nerves, they got the job done. Early mornings were when Gemma took the time to work on her hobby, building computers, a part of it reminded her of Harold and Root. When a component decided it was going to crap out, grumbling to herself, ‘damn it…’ Walking over to the cabinet where she kept spares for later use. Gemma heard the footsteps, quickly glancing over to see who it was. Half expecting it to be an intruder, the pair had made quite a few ‘friends’ over the past few weeks. Noticing it was Shaw, she nodded at them and motioned to the coffee machine. “Coffee is still fresh. I didn’t make it more than an hour ago. And if you want milk for the coffee, it should still be fin-” As she continued to work on the part, trying to get to the bottom of it, tools nearly dropped.

‘I'm sorry, have we met?’ The words hit her like a ton of bricks. What was going on? ‘Funny, Shaw. Do not play that game with me,’ she mutters and puts the tools down. Turning to face them fully, she leans against the table, hands crossing over her chest. Fine, she would play this game. Not realizing at the time that Shaw had no memory of her, at least not at the moment.

“Um, yeah, it would be weird if you didn’t know me, especially since you are staying at my place. Sam.” A brow raised, “this better not be a jab at me. I think we can both agree… Playing memory loss isn’t something either of us takes lightly… So, did you sleep well…” Gemma was trying to change the subject, the worry within her rising that maybe their mind was as bad as hers, something she wished upon no one. “Because if not, I can handle today's stuff…” Eyes quickly glance away from them, not wanting to give Shaw the satisfaction of seeing Gemma worry that Shaw may have forgotten her.

[xarrixii]

Cinder_21 : "Gravel" ━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CW: previous chapter | beginning | masterlist

━━━━━━━━━━━━ ▼

“Is this really necessary?” Alph asked as the person held a measuring tape against them. “I’ve never needed the suits before, so,”

“You may have passed the safety tests with flying colors, but you have yet to put any of that knowledge to good use.” Their dad had his arms crossed, Ty doing the same with a really terrible expression of fake anger. “You will have to start putting the suits on, especially once we get a pair fitted to your size. No more excuses that none of them fit right.”

“But they terrify little kids,” Alph argues.

“But they keep us safe.”

“Oh, come on, you’ve met Urban.”

“What you’re trying to do is noble, Al. It really is. But our job is to keep as many people safe as possible as fast as we can. Changing the system is something else entirely. That’s what voting is for.”

Alph sits down when the person finishes measuring their arm length. “Yeah, well, I’m outvoted by a bunch of kineticist easygoers.”

“It does make it more difficult to make change that way. But nothing would ever need to change if it was easy to change it.” Alph’s dad ruffled Ty’s hair. “That came out a little wrong. I don’t think that we should never need to change because everything is perfect as it is. I think that we should always need to change because it’s the right thing and it needs to be done. That doesn’t make sense either.”

“It’s, fine. I get it, Dad.” Alph is visibly cringing and stands up to go sit beside their dad instead. “If stuff was always easy, it wouldn’t ever be as powerful when a difference is made.”

“Something along those lines.” Their dad anxiously moves his leg up and down. “I’m sorry about your mother, Al. I should’ve done something about her sooner.”

“Don’t⸺I mean, she’s an…” Alph looks for how out of earshot where Ty ran off to is. “...alternate name for a donkey. But she seems to have… some sort of reasoning. Not very good reasoning, so far, I hope she hasn’t been paying people to lie to me the whole time.”

“I once thought she had good reasoning once too. Then she bought an apartment and said to stop talking to her or she’d stop paying rent, and I’m guessing she figured out what wine tasted like.”

It took Alph a bit to realize their dad led them off of the original conversation. “That’s hard to imagine.”

“It’s a nice place, right? The one she’s got you staying at?”

“It’s good enough. Wish I had more time to see Ty.”

“Man I need a beer. You want one?” Their dad lightly hit them with an empty can. Ty was making thunderstorm noises over a mini version of the city built with toy bricks.

Alph shrugs.

“I’ll get ya one.”

“Can we go to the playground? Al. Al. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa⸺”

“Yeah, yeah. Bit of a long walk, though.” Alph was getting lost in thought. They were no stranger to the way people would immediately start looking when Ty acted like the little rascal he is and practiced being careful with electrokinesis by shooting sparks at rocks.

Ty waved Alph off. “Long walk long shmauck. Dad says you need more exercise anyway.”

“Do not,” Alph mumbles to themselves.

“Bet!” Ty yells.

“What if I do bet?”

“I bet I can make it there faster than you can.”

“That right? No cheating,”

“No promises!” Ty immediately takes off running forward.

“Wait!” Alph spots someone dash off a bench. “Ty!”

Screaming ensued around the park. Before Alph knew it, their foot was in the jaw of the person that had gone to grab Ty. They collided along the gravel pathway. “Al? Al what was⸺”

“You’re alright?” Alph put a hand on Ty’s shoulder and gripped a little harder than they would have liked, snapping a flame to life in their other hand. How’d that thing Urban talked about go again? Heat, heating up the bloodstream? Damn it. “Ty, I need you to call the cops. You know the number?”

“Yeah.”

Alph slid Ty their phone.

“What’s happening?”

Fuck, fuck Alph couldn’t just ignore this question. “You, you know that game that’s designed to be difficult? That you had to ask me to help you beat?”

“The one with the guys in black that ran at you really weirdly?”

“Yes. I need you to do what I say, alright? Just like when you had to beat that game.”

“Okay. We’re gonna make it to the playground, right?”

“Yeah.”

The guy had scrambled up, saw the fire, and took off the other way. There were way too many other kids here. Alph tuned out the sound of Ty on the phone. Protecting as many people as possible. As soon as possible. But they can’t just forget about the one they leave behind⸺

“Keep everyone else safe here,” Liam’s voice came out of nowhere, and Alph spun to find him. “Hate these guys with a passion.”

Next thing Alph knew, the guy running toward some random kid was swiftly punched in the face, connecting with a thick tree. The kidnapper grabs a knife from their pocket that’s wrenched from their hand by what Alph could only assume is telekinesis at work. It smashes into their skull and they lay quiet.

See any others?

Not yet⸺ Alph is quickly thrown into the gravel, gray dust rising in a fit. Alph pulls a knee into the guy’s groin and rolls them off.

“GET OFF!” Ty screams, Alph’s phone crashing to the ground.

“Ty, remember what Dad said about self-defense⸺” Alph is pulled back into the dirt when they try getting up. Liam, god damn it!

Alph juts their leg into the guy’s skull like an arrow, hearing static and an adult yell before Ty lands back on the ground. The guy fighting Alph backs up, holding their head and starting away at a run. Something shoves itself uncomfortably far into the guy’s arm as they’re sent rolling into a tree. Liam catches it in his hand. It’s a pop-out coffee lid. Of course.

The amount of dust that’s been kicked into the air almost makes it look like the trees had started burning.

“Do you have a nut?” Alph exasperates as they get up, grabbing hold of Ty again. The sucker that’d picked him up was definitely unconscious. Bit overboard.

“Like one of the bolts?”

“No, like, a flammable tree nut.”

Liam shakes his head, but pulls out a pencil. “This work?”

“If you throw it hard enough at that van before they get in.”

Liam lets Alph set the pencil on fire among the wailing sirens, looking at them. “You ready?”

“Go for it.”

The pencil is sent hurtling at the vehicle, exploding the engine on contact with a little help from Alph. The person that had gone to hop in it stumbled back. There were shouts coming from behind a line of trees. Water splashed onto the guy’s feet when they took off the other way, frozen over a second later.

“Now, kid, this is like a super spy movie, alright?” Liam looked at Ty, holding out a pinky. “I was never here. If the common good guys knew, it’d make the mission a lot more complicated and more public, which would jeopardize it.”

“I get it.” Ty pretends to zip his lips closed before shaking Liam’s finger. Liam then disappears from the scene with a smile, leaving nothing behind. Ty turns to Alph. “You know a TE/TK???”

Alph chuckles, picking up their phone, examining all of the new cracks. “Tons of fun stories for later.” Most of which would have to be cleverly crafted lies. Would need to think them up first. Meant a lot of stalling. They cleared their throat, watching as a squad of officers bound hands behind backs. Hand binders, with reasonable justification. It’d switch to plain handcuffs later depending on the identities and records on these people.

Thanks. Alph hopes and doesn’t hope Liam hears it at the same time.

Don’t mention it. Seriously. Those are the kinds of organizations that are gonna start popping up the more Cinder has to put resources toward Storm. They were pretty small when I left originally and warned Cinder about it, hopefully we’ve been keeping them down good enough.

You used to be in Storm?

Yeah. Weird kinetic manipulation, army creating nonsense. Once I realized their plan of overthrowing the system involved taking over the world, I ran.

“Al,” Chief Kepler was walking down from the street, winding water back into a flask on his belt. “And little Ty. I’m assuming most of the de-escalation was you?”

“Chief. None of them displayed any kinetics if they had them.”

“That’s good to hear. Makes my job easier. Where were you all heading off to?”

“The playground!” Ty realizes suddenly. “Oh, but, everyone probably ran away… You missed it!! Alph went like woosh and kicked the guy in the face, and then another one came up and tackled them like grrrrrggrh, and Alph kicked them in the face too, and then a guy grabbed me, and I went like zap! and they fell over! Then Alph noticed them trying to get away, so they sent fire to go shppplooosh to their ugly van!”

“Did they, now?” Kepler gives off a hearty laugh, taking off his hat and holding it against his chest.

“Yeah!! I didn’t know there were so many ways to kick people in the face. Can you join our race? We were going to see who could get to the playground the fastest before all the guys in black started jumping in.”

“Tell you what, I have some things to finish up here, but I can meet you down there after. That sound good?”

Ty nods and punches Alph, starting to run off.

“I gotta,” Alph laughs and bounces into a run after Ty.

Kepler waves Alph off, turning and walking back to the clutter of dispatched officers. Ty was getting too fast for this.

“Wait up!”

“No way!” Ty calls after.

“Cheater!”

next chapter

━━━━━━━━━━━━ ▲ missing a content warning? let me know

man i sure do hope liam can resemble a weird dad guy more than he already does

he's literally not even a father

yet

[arlecchno]

NEL IS MY BABY I LOVE HIM - scratch / block code is actually like the only “coding language” i know because im too lazy to learn anything else LOL (im gonna try to learn renpy someday for part 2 of nels game though … anything for my silly little alien boi) tbh , scratch isnt too difficult but its TEDIOUS AS HELL 😭 it takes forever for me to make the dumb textbox transitions because i have to keep scrolling up n down , even with copy paste i still have to edit and make sure the timings are correct its such hell lmao

the little emote is basically just a glorified version of me lol (because the laws of physics wouldnt permit me to have a cool hair style)

i own the jacket irl its absolutely sick

LMAO i honestly kinda wish i could relate to the issue that people find me scary , i feel like my life would be a lot easier if i was intimidating to people , because i actually most of the time do have murder / violence on my mind - but noooo im small and squishy LOL

damn ive heard of those kinds of windows , yk those memes where people go onto their balcony / look out their window with their phones and just see like a brick wall LOL . my balcony gets a really nice view of the city sunrise i think , even though ive only been up to see it once or twice

BOOM >:D

i think the silliest thing i own is a ziplock bag from 6th grade that is full of cutouts from my friends mathbook , for example:

for the question … top 5 favorite genshin characters ? and if you want you can explain why but its not required (also if you play on genshin NA servers , wanna add eachother ? i guess this counts as two questions so feel free to shoot two back at me if ya want lol)

wishing you the best on asphodelus !!

- jellyfish

i can absolutely agree that scratch is such a pain in the ass LMAO, it always takes up my time whenever i did it in computing class a few years back

the blonde highlights are an absolute hit for me bro... and that's the xiao jacket, right? (hope i'm not mistaken because i feel like i've seen those around twitter)

AND YES THOSE MEMES IS EXACTLY MY WINDOW VIEW OMG whenever i'm feeling like looking out the window all i see is a brick wall with my neighbour's unit greeting me, and suddenly my day gets so much worse /hj

and those sunrise pics are bomb!!! i feel like if i had a sunrise view i'd be up early every single day to watch it and take cute pictures (i'm literally up before 6 every day, unwillingly)

a ziplock bag full of cutouts...? from 6th grade...? damn looking at it made me realize that 6th grade was so long ago and that we'd do a lot of silly stuff at that age 😭 makes me remind of those times when i was so energetic lmao now i can't even go up a flight of stairs without complaining

i think i'd have to make a separate top 5 list for the genshin characters because i don't think i could combine both genders into one list 😔 i'm too indecisive for that

top 5 genshin men; kuni, kazuha, cyno, dainsleif and alhaitham!! kuni is pretty self-explanatory, but as for kazuha and cyno.... i've been in love ever since they first came out (for cyno i've been waiting since like late 2020 LMAO and for kazuha i first saw him in the beta leaks and vowed to save up for him ever since then) i've also pretty much been in love with dainsleif ever since his first appearance in the archon quest (was it in 1.5??? i'm not entirely sure) and for alhaitham,, well his very blunt personality (and also appearance) have intrigued me 😞 i am apart of the alhaitham fanclub now

top 5 genshin women; yelan, shenhe, yoimiya, yae miko and ei!!! i love yelan and shenhe the most tho, they're my loves and i'm just really in love with their designs 🫶🫶

it's also cool how i have most of them (except for alhaitham, dainsleif and... kuni, unfortunately). i'll most definitely pull for alhaitham soon and hopefully luck is with me hahaha,, i quite literally only have less than 10 pulls right now

and yes i do play on na!!! i'm not really online much because there's not much to do right now but yes we could add eachother!!

as for a question for you... how many 5* do you currently have in genshin? and who do you plan on pulling for next?

thank you!!! asphodelus is going pretty well for me i am really looking forward to this new series

and thank you once again for talking with me jellyfish hehe hope you're having a great day today!! :D

[harryinsweats]

Thank you, totally good with you replying in tags cause I don’t wanna invite bad vibes to your blog on this fairly chill Monday 😅

OK so, basically, I have gone through a lot of self reflection over the last couple months all because of this damn relationship. I have been a mess!!! And I’ve hated that I’ve been such a mess, because it’s not my relationship and I don’t know Harry nor Olivia personally but I’ve been sooooo resistant to any overt positivity about Olivia and her being with Harry. It’s very clearly jealousy and all that parasocial relationship stuff cause like, look at Harry, who doesn’t want that as their boyfriend??? I’m self aware enough to recognize it, and I knew that the knee jerk reaction to say something not nice about her almost always was unjustified and I either put it in the drafts or just logged out cause clearly I was getting way to involved.

For context, I’m a 23yr black girl whose adored Harry since 1D but didn’t start following him as a harrie until about late 2017. So Olivia is the first big “girlfriend meltdown” for me and it’s not been fun largely because of how the fandom is handling it.

The fandom spans a wide range in terms of generation, so there are fans like me who are in their 20s and in college and probably not have much life experience (I’ve personally only had one bf back in high school, and he was my first and only kiss) and then there are others who are millennials with careers and kids and spouses and lived through the 90s/early 00s. I think that these age differences, and especially whether you were familiar with who Olivia was and her career already, factor a lot in fandom reaction to them going public with their relationship. I knew nothing about her outside of Booksmart and knowing she was on one of those California teenagers drama shows (either the OC or 90210 idk lol) so I didn’t feel a sudden sense of excitement like others who may have had major crushes on her in those shows or kept up with her life as a celebrity. Other than the jealousy, I frankly could not understand the hype about her; of course she’s attractive and all that and I tried going through her socials to get an idea of what she’s like (not really interested in the shows she was in tho) and other than sharing a love for miniatures, Harry Styles, and Wes Anderson, I can’t jump on the “Harry is so lucky to be dating Olivia” train. He’s clearly happy with her, and he deserves to be loved and to love whoever he wants. I guess it’s just, from the way in which parts of this fandom talks about them, it’s all but certain that this might be Harry’s “endgame”, in part because of the fact that Olivia has kids and they are living with Harry and that is a major indication of how serious they are. And like, yeah, he’s almost 30 and he’s always talked about settling down one day and having kids of his own, and I so want that for him cause I see how much joy talking about those things brings him. I just feel like, as the months go by, there are increasingly more discussions about Olivia possibly being pregnant or engagement rumors and strong assertions about Harry’s position with her kids (mixed in with some very weird comments about their sex life fueled by Cinema and The Box spotting but that’s a whole other thing), and the reality of it all is just hitting me like a ton of bricks all at once. So, here I am on a Monday night, spiraling over the fact that I am not at all emotional prepared that Harry might settle down with Olivia and become a st*pdad and all that might entail just because of weirdo fandom speculation and me realizing that Harry is at the stage of life where it makes sense. I’ve always thought that his partner would be a normie or a low key celeb that would still be relatable and I would be 1000% in love with them being together (but of course in a normal casual way lol like that’s how I feel about Tom and Zendaya for example). In summary, I can’t make myself love Olivia and say with sincerity that I think she’s the perfect match for Harry and that makes me feel terrible because she could very well be the one for him 😔 I’m not sure where to go from here, if you have any advice so that I could be Normal, I’d love it! Have a good night, and thank you for letting me rant in your inbox ✌🏾☺️

hi bestie so first of all, i wanted to share your message since maybe other people are feeling this way, so i hope that’s okay!

i admire that you were able to reflect on how you feel and realize that it wasn’t healthy for you. i think that’s the first step when we try to make changes in our lives. also disclaimer, i am not a therapist, i’m just giving advice!

now, im gonna give you a whole bunch of options here bc idk what will work best for you but it seems that you know yourself well and can make the best decision for you, even if that means taking none of my advice lol. you definitely don’t need to get on some olivia love train. harry shouldn’t be an invitation to stan her bc if you do want to be a fan of her, it should be for her work and not for who she’s dating. i think a lot of the time harry serves as our comfort person where when we get into the mindset that we’re never gonna love someone or there are no good men out there, we have this one example of a cute talented guy that makes our lives really great! and the best way to combat that is honestly just go out in the world and meet good people. i’ve found that the more people you meet, the more normal he seems because we can spot goodness in so many people and we shouldn’t hyperfixate on one person. another strategy is a fake it till you make it where you convince yourself harry is ugly (i know this sounds crazy but the mind is powerful and it’s helped me in the past). i also learned a lot from living with someone who wasn’t really a huge fan of anyone and what i noticed about her is that she didn’t spend too much time on social media (set a time limit for apps on her phone), found a reason to get out of the house every single day even if just for a walk, exercised often, met with friends face to face almost daily (which is easier to do in a college environment unfortunately for anyone who graduated), and was a big fan of music without looking too much into who makes it. obviously we can’t expect ourselves to revert back to no love for harry but i think implementing some of this self care stuff and normalizing him in our minds really helps.

i think categorizing harry as someone who makes really good music, influences lots of people to do creative and cool things, happens to be hot, is someone we don’t know much about (no matter how much fan culture makes you think you do), etc. can make him seem a bit more like any other celeb may seem to you. not to say that he’s unattainable, because i do think he’s personable and approachable, but just so we can remember that he’s just some guy. for me, i just had to remind myself that he’s a singer and one of the most famous people in the world and that the possibility that he’d be into someone more relatable (someone like i think you said in-between the lines is like me or you) shouldn’t be what validates me. at the end of the day, we can have our criticisms about this relationship but whatever he does has no effect on us as long as he keeps making amazing music. point is, he is just some dude! i hope this helped!!

[adelheidvonschicksal]

I could do a scenario where reader loves to mess with megumi's hair, but suddenly she stops because she thinks she's bothering him.

The first time you notice how soft his hair is was when you were returning to school after a long mission.

You were riding in a car with the entire first-year gang. Nobara sat in the front seat next to Ijichi while you were placed in the back between Yuji and Megumi. The ride back was a long one. After an exhausting day of exorcising curses, you were all tired. Nobara and Yuji ended up falling asleep minutes into the ride, leaving Megumi to watch the sights passing through the window and you shyly trying to make conversation with him.

It's hard considering the strong crush you have on your fellow classmate. He was intelligent, kinder than he really let on, and fairly mature (at least compared to the people you’re usually around). His good looks were the cherry on top of the entire package. Everyone knew Megumi was a pretty boy and often teased him about it. He had fair skin, long, thick eyelashes, and your favorite being his dark hair. It looked so soft whenever your teacher would pat his head, flattening out the black tresses and ruffling them, much to Megumi’s chagrin. But you really wished you could feel as well.

You were the type of person to show your fondness for others through touch. Some people liked it, and some didn’t. For example, Yuji normally had no problem with you touching him, even welcomed it. You weren’t brave enough to ask someone like Megumi for the same sort of relationship, so you kept your hand to yourself when it came to him. At least until Megumi fell asleep, leaning against the car door for support. It’s then you saw your chance and carefully reached to touch one of the longer spikes.

The little black point wavered at your poking, lightly curling around your index finger as you swirled it around. You giggled to yourself about it. It’s thicker and fluffier than you imagined and also incredibly soft, proving Kugisaki’s theory about a ton of hairspray wrong.

Suddenly, a bump in the road cut your touching short, and you quickly jumped away when Megumi’s eyes began to flutter open.

Suspicious, he asked, “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” you said calmly despite your heart thumping under his gaze, but he dropped his interrogation as you all pulled into the school’s parking lot.

That was three months ago.

Now, the two of you were dating, and you saw that as permission to continue your physical intimacy with your more introverted boyfriend.

“Good morning, guys,” you greet your classmates and teacher with a wave, saving your happier actions for Megumi as your hand immediately goes towards his head to ruffle his hair. You pull your hand away but not before letting your fingers clasp your favorite cowlick. Giving a gentle tug, you let it bounce back into place with a smile.

Megumi groans softly, his mouth pursed into a slight frown as he goes to fix his hair back into its normal disarray.

Gojo claps, bringing your attention towards him. “Well now that everyone’s here, let’s go shopping.”

With that, the five of you head to the shopping district despite the heat bearing down on the city. You spend about an hour walking around before deciding to take a break so Nobara and Gojo can catch their breath in the shade while you return some clothes you bought a few weeks earlier across the street. Megumi and Yuji go to buy all five of you drinks, but it isn’t long before you hear Yuji yelling from outside the store.

“Sensei! Kugisaki! Fushiguro is getting hit on! We have to protect (L/Name)’s relationship!”

Before you could even stop them, they’re already up and running in Fushiguro’s direction. Sighing, you grab your card from the store owner and run to catch up with your group.

When you arrive, Kugisaki and Itadori are already clinging to him and ranting something about being in love with him before Gojo saunters up in his best casual wear to challenge them. You have to stifle back a laugh as he goes on about music practice and homewrecking before the event ends with Megumi smacking Yuji in the head as Nobara and Gojo stalk off, defeated.

Hearing your laughter, Yuji cowers behind you with tearful chibi eyes. “Do you see that, (Name)? Fushiguro is so mean. I was only trying to help him and that's the treatment I get .”

“You didn’t help at all. You were nothing short of embarrassing.”

You giggle at the two before reaching out to your silently fuming boyfriend. “No need to be so grumpy, Megumi-kun, or did Gojo give you too much violin homework,” you sing out teasingly, earning a growl about how it isn’t funny as you playfully scramble his hairstyle.

“And that! Will you stop with that?” Megumi demands and forcefully shoves your hand away. “It’s so annoying. You don’t see me petting you all day like some damn pet.”

“Oh,” you say, stepping back from him in your shock. This is the first time Megumi has brought up how you chose to dote on him. Yes, he’d quietly grumble about it from time to time like most things, but he never yelled at you about how you chose to display your affection. You guess you never really realized how much it truly bothered him. Biting back the hurt in your voice, you apologize. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Megumi grunts softly in response, and Yuji decides it’s probably best to ask Gojo to take you all home for today.

It isn’t long after that Megumi begins to notice your interactions with him starting to change. He apologized for yelling at you soon after the event, but you were still much less touchy with him even after accepting his apology.

Normally, you’d grab onto his hand without so much as asking or surprise him with kisses on his cheek. Now, you only hold his pinky from time to time and only if he asks. You also stop your go-to of rubbing his head when you’d greet him or playing with the ends of his hair when you were bored.

Megumi thought maybe something was bothering you, but then he noticed how you’d still laugh and joke around with Yuji and Nobara, your hand gripping onto their shoulder when they’d tell an extra funny joke or affectionately patting them on the back. That wasn’t the worst though. The worst was when you’d absentmindedly sweep Yuji’s hair back into place when it got messy from training. The jealousy it sparked in Megumi was the last straw that makes him decide to ask you what was wrong.

You’re surprised when he tugs on your sleeve, interrupting your conversation with Itadori and Kugisaki. “Hey, can we talk?”

“Sure,” you say, nodding off to Itadori and Kugisaki before following Megumi to the waterspouts outside. You both sat together on the brick square surrounding the structure. It’s a few quiet seconds of you staring at Megumi as he folds his hands in front of him and lazily taps his foot. Dark blue eyes stare at you before dropping back to the ground.

“Are you still mad at me for yelling at you the other week?”

You shake your head. “I told you it’s fine. I’m not mad at you about that.”

“Then, it’s something else,” he decides, and he desperately tries to rack his brain for what else he could have possibly done wrong, “I’m sure I didn’t forget your birthday or anything. Do you not like me anymore or something?”

Gasping, you deny his claim, “Of course I like you, why would you think I don’t?”

“Because you’re not so friendly with me anymore like the way you are with the others, so either you’re upset with me, or you don’t have the same feelings for me as you do with them.”

“It’s neither of those things. With Yuji and Nobara, they’re both sociable people, but you aren’t like them. You don’t like all that kind of stuff, and I don’t want to annoy you by doing things you don’t like.”

Megumi scowls at your confession, sighing because he remembers exactly why you must be talking like this so suddenly. He specifically called your touches annoying, and he inwardly curses at himself for it. “You’re wrong. It’s not that I don’t like it…” he begins unsurely then pauses.

“Then, what?”

Megumi groans softly, an embarrassed heat starting to build in his cheeks as he quietly croaks out, “Feels good.”

“What’s that?” you ask, scooting closer so you can hear him better.

Megumi blushes lightly and cranks his head to look away from your cutely confused blinking. “It feels good when you do it,” he repeats robotically.

“When I do what?”

“When you play with my hair,” he hesitantly explains in more detail, “When Gojo does it, it’s aggravating, but I don't mind so much with you.”

Hesitantly, you ask, “So is it okay if I do it now?”

Megumi nods. “If you want.”

Cautiously, you lift your hand, pulling back in doubt a few times before ultimately sliding your fingers through his hair and rubbing. Megumi groans softly at your touch, and you realize that all those rushed noises of aggravation were actually him moaning from how light and comforting your touch was. You move your hand forward and backward some more, massaging his head until his head starts nodding and his eyes flutter a bit.

You giggle at him. “Are you falling asleep? You’re such a kid.”

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you.”

You laugh louder as he scoffs to hide his embarrassment.

“In that case, you can sleepover with me tonight, and we can do this if you want,” you offer sweetly, and Megumi glances at you, thinking it over. As your smile grows and your hand hits that sweet spot right at the nape of his neck, he couldn’t deny that he liked the idea of falling asleep with you playing with his hair.

“I’d like that.”

[stardewtales]

Your shane x reader are some of the first I read when i got into sdv, and they still hold a li special place in my heart <3 I love the way you wrote shane, jas, and the farmer (you kept the farmer rather neutral, but you still gave her moments of personality, rlly great stuff!), anyway, I'd love any shane related stuff you would do, but if your looking for a request, the reader teaching him abt farming/gardening (planting hot peppers together eee) i think would be rlly cute-ok bye lysm!!!

A/N: hey lovely!! If you're still around, thank you so much for this. I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to get to your request, but here it is! Hope it lives up to your expectations xx

Shane can feel you hovering behind him.

"What is it," he groans, not bothering to turn around.

"Sorry," he hears you say. "Just, be careful with the roots, please? I don't want all your work to be for nothing."

Well, he can't exactly fault you for that. If anything, he's ashamed because he was distracted while you showed him the whole thing about the roots.

He turns to look at you. "Would you, uh... mind showing me again?"

His stomach twists as you smile at him, thoroughly amused. "Sure thing. Here, let me get in there..."

You kneel beside him, knees firmly planted in the dirt beside his. You proceed to show him how to dig around the roots instead of into them for a second time that afternoon. For a second time, he finds it hard to focus with you so close, but he fights that a little harder this time.

"Here," you hand him back the trowel, "give it another shot."

He can't miss the way the look you give him is so damn encouraging. You've given him plenty of variations on that look by now, with various degrees of concern thrown into the mix. He proceeds to try digging up the pepper plant again, the sun boring down on the back of his neck as he does it.

"Am I getting it right, now?" he asks, glancing up at you quickly.

"Couldn't do it better myself," you nod exaggeratedly, and he fakes throwing dirt at you in retaliation.

It gets a laugh out of you, clear and joyful. It stirs something inside him, the feeling that's been nagging at him sort of often these days. It hits him like a ton of bricks in that moment that this is the feeling he used to chase all the way down the bottles, the sort of rush he used to think would make up for everything else.

He must've made a face when he realized it, because your brows furrow in concern.

"Are you o-" you start, but you're cut off short by a girlish squeal further down the field.

Him and you both shoot up, surveying the surroundings.

"Jas?" you half-shout, concerned.

"I think I need some help," her voice pipes up sheepishly, and the two of you finally spot her, fallen on her butt among the sunflowers.

You huff, relieved, and tell him you've got it with a brief touch on his arm before you leave in Jas's direction. Now that he knows she's not hurt, he can go back to making sense of his thoughts, yet he barely registers the lingering feeling of your fingers on his forearm.

He kneels and gets back to work, distraught. His first instinct is to worry. The therapist Harvey connected him with cautioned him pretty early on about the way some addicts replaced one addiction with another, and that all good things should perhaps be enjoyed in moderation while he was on the road to recovery.

You're the best thing in his life by far, but he failed to keep you at arm's length a long time ago now. He's not dense enough to be unaware that he's developed some pretty strong feelings for you. But this particular feeling is new-ish, and he doesn't quite know what to make of it. As his fingers dig up the pepper plant out of the ground and he gently removes chunks of dirt from the roots, Shane hopes really hard this doesn't mean he's allowed himself to veer all the way of the right path he's been trying so hard to stick to.

He hates to think about it, but maybe he needs to cool off on seeing you so often so he can at least get a grip. He can't even recall the last time he went a day without seeing you. Sometime in the spring, probably? It's the very end of summer now.

After he's transferred the plant to the wheelbarrow, Shane stands up and looks around. You're still helping Jas uproot some sunflowers, even though her initial job was just to collect the stray seeds. Officially, he and her were there to help you wrap up the summer crops so you could transfer some to your greenhouse. In reality, he was helping you; Jas was causing more trouble than she was helping, but you didn't seem to mind at all, more than happy to show her over and over how to handle things properly.

He didn't know how you did it. It's like you had an endless well of patience, and he knew he ought to have reached the pit of it by now. And yet, he had not. There were depths to your kindness that reached far enough that even after dealing with him through his recovery, you still had plenty left for Jas in all her fumblings and ill-advised adventures.

For the rest of the afternoon Shane managed to clear his mind and just keep working somewhat efficiently. Marnie came around just before dinnertime to get Jas, who was too exhausted from running around by then to protest. Marnie had also let him know she'd save him a portion of dinner for when he came home, but to take his time, which he'd made sure to thank her for.

It wasn't long until Jas left before you and him moved on to replanting the uprooted plants into the greenhouse. He liked that part more than the digging up; liked the hazy warmth of the greenhouse more than the blaring heat of the field. The two of you worked mostly in silence, both exhausted, him perhaps more than you.

After you planted the last of yours and he was halfway through his own last plant, he heard you clap your hands together to shake the dirt off your gloves, before you fully shrieked.

"What's wrong?" he quickly turned towards you.

"Your neck!" you replied, walking over to him. "Did you not put on sunscreen like I told you to?"

Shane instinctively reaches for the back of his neck, and while the sunburn doesn't hurt yet, he can feel the tell-tale heat coming off of it.

"Ah, shit. Think I missed a spot."

You tut at him, shooing his hand off so you can take a better look.

"You big idiot," you chastise him affectionately. "You're lucky I have an infinite amount of aloe in the house from last summer."

**************

As Shane steps out of the shower and into your steam-filled bathroom, he can already tell he'll be sore from all this work. He doesn't know how you do this every day. He tries to get a look at himself in the mirror, but it's too fogged up. Probably better that way, he thinks.

He's used your shower plenty of times before, and he's glad that at the very least it doesn't feel as awkward as it used to. While he was still in the pits of getting sober, you'd graciously let him stay over on your couch so Jas didn't have to see him struggle when it got too hard. He still doesn't know why you did that, or how to repay you for it.

After putting on his clothes, he steps out into your living room, where you're waiting for him with a huge tub of the goo you intend to smear on his sunburn. You've showered too, and made him do it after you because otherwise you claimed he'd just wash off the aloe later, which was probably right.

"C'mere," you beckon him over to sit on the arm of your couch.

He chuckles. It's funny to him, how bossy you get when you're trying to take care of him. Nevertheless, he does as he's told and dutifully sits down like you instruct him. And waits.

Nothing happens.

"You okay back there?" he asks, looking over his shoulder.

You raise a brow. "Aren't you gonna take off your shirt? How am I supposed to get this on you otherwise?"

He feels a bubble of panic rush up. He's in better shape than he used to be, but he's still not much to look at, and he doesn't like the idea of you finding that out like this. "Is that really necessary?"

You sigh, and he knows there will be no convincing you. He feels the tips of his ears burn as he lifts his shirt over his head, dropping it at his feet and taking precious care not to look back at you. "Happy?" he mumbles.

"Hmhm," you hum quietly behind him.

You bring your aloe-coated fingers to his burning skin, and instantly he feels consumed by ice-cold flames. He was not prepared for you to touch him quite so gently, to work the gel into his skin in tiny, careful circles. His throat runs dry as he's reminded of his earlier conclusion that he needs to take some time away from you, for both of your sakes. If the way his body is reacting to this isn't proof, he doesn't know what would be.

You let him know you're done, and he promptly puts his shirt back on. He wishes he hadn't when the stickiness gets a hold of the collar.

"So, just a heads up," you start, screwing the jar of aloe vera shut, "I'm gonna be really busy tomorrow I think. So maybe hanging out in the evening when I'm done would be better?"

He's taken aback by the way this is coming up faster than he anticipated. Still, No time like the present I guess, he thinks to himself.

"About that," he clears his throat, "I think it might be better if I spend some alone time for a while."

He watches you still. You look up at him slowly, visibly confused. "Have I done something wrong?" you ask, and it kills him. "I'm sorry if I have, I know I can be a little overbearing sometimes," you start to ramble, but he cuts you off.

"No, no, none of that," he tries to reassure you. "It's just, uh, how do I say this," he scratches at his head, genuinely at a loss. "Remember how I told you my therapist said I should, like, maybe be careful about things I enjoy a lot? And about... strong emotions?"

You nod, but he can tell from your slight frown you're still confused.

"Well, it's kinda like that. I feel really good when I'm with you. Maybe a little too good. Strong stuff. But I don't wanna depend on you to feel... good. I wanna keep this healthy, yeah?"

You ponder his words, and he can tell he hasn't really gotten his point across. "I mean, I think I get where you're coming from, maybe? But Shane, I think it's okay for you to have a support system. Is it really so bad if being with a friend makes you feel good? I think that's how most people feel."

He shakes his head, huffing. "No, it's not like that."

"Then what is it like?"

His eyes meet yours, and he feels weak. "Please don't make me say it," he whispers.

"Shane," you reach out to touch his shoulder, "You're worrying me."

He swallows. Before he knows it, it tumbles out of him. "I have feelings for you. I have for a while. And lately it's gotten a little out of control. So I need some time away from you to get over it, okay? I don't want things to be weird. I need you too much to have things be weird. So I need to figure it out before it gets there."

You stare at him, and he sees so many emotions run across your face that he gets dizzy.

"You... what?" you say quietly after a while.

He feels heat rise from his chest all the way to his ears, like some twisted type of nausea. "Forget it, alright? That's not the point I'm trying to make. I just..." he breathes, "I'll see you in a few days, yeah?"

He doesn't wait for a response. He goes for the door right away, in a real hurry to leave this place where everything is so blatantly yours, down to the smell of your lotion lingering in the air from your bare legs.

But you don't let him leave. He feels your hand on his arm, a real grip this time, and the next thing he knows you're reaching for his neck and bringing his mouth to meet yours. Shane thinks he's forgotten how to make his blood run, how to make his lungs breathe, how to make his limbs move. You're pressing your lips on his with a fervor he didn't even know you had in you. Then, with an instinct of its own, his body kicks back into gear, and he feels himself wrapping his arms around you, bringing you closer yet as he pours all the energy he has left into kissing you back.

It's desperation that compels him, because he never imagined this would ever happen outside of his mind, outside of his daydreams. He's not even convinced he'll ever get to do it again, so he's making this one count.

He genuinely has no idea how much time has passed when you break away from him, panting. You're not saying anything, just searching his eyes with yours.

"Please say something," he eventually breathes.

He watches as you swallow, then exhale loudly. "I don't want to see you in a few days only. I wanna see you now and in the middle of the night and every moment of every day. I don't want you to go and get over me, because I don't think I'll be able to get over you if you do, Shane. So don't leave me. Stay. Please."

Your words fluster him a great deal more than he already is. "Okay," he nods, in a half-daze.

"Yeah?" you make sure, still catching your breath.

"Yeah," he confirms. "Anything for you. Of course."