#because it’s hindering my healing process

[mrs-han]

Something that I need to revisit — a pain I keep burying, and words I wish I could have said.

This is very out of character, especially for someone like Jumin. Feel free to skip this piece; I couldn’t come up with an ending.

“Do you… do you not want to be with me anymore?”

“I don’t.”

Your heart paused - then hammered with a vengeance in your chest.

Jumin’s words - so immediate, so decisive - were worse than any punch to your gut. You had done it. You pushed your… husband…? So far away that he couldn’t find his way back.

And he didn’t want to.

Realizing you weren’t breathing, you shakily turned to face your desk. What were you supposed to say? What were you going to do, now? The man you had been with for so much of your life didn’t want you anymore.

The man who had promised you forever decided forever was too long.

Jumin spoke your name - loud and firm - but all you could hear was a sharp ringing in your ear. Like a bomb had exploded near you. Or inside of you.

“You don’t need to worry about anything. I’ll have the divorce papers filed and faxed to you.”

“Jumin —”

“Forgive me. But I don’t want to hear any more excuses from you.”

So cold — so unfeeling. You had done that to him.

“I… I’m sorry —”

“I know. You’ve said it many times before.”

“Jumin.” You stumbled towards him. You didn’t like begging anybody for anything. But there were always firsts for everything. Clasping your hands in front of you, you stared into his eyes, void of any sentiment. “I know I haven’t been easy to live with, but you can’t…”

Jumin crossed his arms definitively over his chest — blocking himself from you completely. “I can’t what. I can’t leave? Is that what you’d like to say?”

Power surged through your voice. “I promised you till death do us part, and you promised me the same!”

He didn’t say anything. His expression towards you didn’t change.

“You — you saw me at my worst, and decided that it was too much?”

“Every time I tried to help you, you shoved me away. You were always angry with me over something — something.” A trace of emotion escapes Jumin’s lips. “Each time, you’d apologize. But nothing came from it. You remained closed off, hostile, insufferable.”

You trembled harder now. “Have you stopped to think that I’ve put up with your imperfections without complaint? I’ve always had an open ear for you. My arms were always open for you. And — when things were too hard for you to talk about, I’d show you more compassion than you had ever shown yourself.”

Jumin’s eyes stayed trained on yours. “You didn’t sit in front of our bedroom door, stressed beyond belief because I wouldn’t open the door for you. You didn’t have to chase after me —”

“I didn’t?!”

Jumin closed his mouth and clenched his jaw. The vein on the side of his neck started to swell.

You swiped hastily at the tears in your eyes. “I know I can be difficult. I know that I still have a lot to heal from, but I am not the only one.”

Jumin’s brows lowered.

“When you proposed to me, did you stop to consider that I am my own person suffering from my own demons? Or were you too absorbed in what you wanted in the moment?”

Jumin didn’t say anything. His body language didn’t reveal anything to you. His silence was deafening.

Frustrated beyond comprehension, you broke the skin on your palms, nails digging too far in. “When you saw me… all of me… you decided it was too much. But the surface level of my soul would have sufficed, right? The honeymoon phase of us was enough, right?”

Jumin finally broke eye contact with you… and checked his watch. “Can we wrap this up? I have a meeting in ten minutes.”

Your fingertips tingled. Your head pounded. Finally, your knees buckled — and you retched into the trash bin beside your desk.

[night-market-if]

yo wtf?? people are saying some shit about milo or gabriels' stories rn????? listen i havent played through gabriel's story in book one or book two yet but i know for a DAMN fact that milo is VERY WELL WRITTEN and from how far ive played into book 2's demo, i am HAPPY with the direction his story is taking (as an mnm mancer specifically, im happy to be another wall for him alongside malcolm) like??? what the fuck do they have to complain about??? its going to be SLOW, he needs to heal and recover and be better not only for the people around him but also HIMSELF and its gonna be a fucking SLOG to get there, shit cant be fixed and genuinely i dont WANT to make him worse by being a horrible person to him, and personally??? i dont think ANY iteration of the night market WOULD WANT TOO, because they KNOW what hes been through!!!! i just. what the fuck man??? is healing not what the majority wants or something??? listen, i dunno, but i want you TO know that i love your story and your writing, and i genuinely look forward to what you will write and do, all that being SAID, if a hiatus is needed, PLEASE take one!! to rush a story you want to tell would only hinder it! please, if the bad apples are rotting the tree, let nature take its course with the tree for a bit and stop tending to it! go plant something else! something that is easy to grow and enjoy instead of a labor to carefully watch!! you write best when your happy to write, and i am SO willing to wait months, years, EVEN DECADES for this story to finish! and i hope your personal life affairs are resolved with utmost care and love on all sides, have a beautiful and refreshing day

There is so much you said in this that has touched me and I am going to read it (and the dozens of other messages I have received) very carefully and soak up the love.

But, I wanted to say one thing and it is all I can actually process right now of what you have written. I swear I will come back and read this again and again.

"...needs to heal and recover..."

That. Right there. Just gave me inspiration for how I want the direction of the MC to go. Thank you so much for this. I finally know the message I want to get across in book 2. I am so grateful to you, to all of you, from the bottom of my heart.

[lastoneout]

Me: I know I have gastritis but like...my tummy hurts...and usually sprite helps my tummy feel better......hnnn.....

Senshi Dungeon Meshi: Hey now, your stomach hurts because it's inflamed, anything that's too acidic, like a carbonated soda, is bound to make it hurt worse. Why don't you have a nice cup of mint tea with some honey instead? It takes time for your body to heal, after all, you shouldn't hinder the process.

Me, in tears: You're right, thank you Senshi <3

[the-bloody-sadist]

Oooooo, could you do Yosano, Dazai, Kenji, Kyoka, and Atsushi?

Ps im ngl i always spell "actually" wrong 😣 i type so fast my autocorrect just cant keep up

CRACKS KNUCKLES OBNOXIOUSLY

(p.s. TYPE SLOWER. no jk that's actually so cute patpat it's okay little guy)

disclaimer first: a few of these characters I know very little about past what the anime offered and what my attention span was during their screen time, so forgive me if some of this trauma tie-in happens to be an element that already exists in some fashion (but isn't focused on) that I just didn't catch. Most of the ability stuff is just so fucking confusing and weird that I got used to dismissing any deeper looks into the possible meanings to their characters. REGARDLESS! I'm going to act as if I'm the co-writer of BSD and I have a skeleton of what their abilities/characters are supposed to be like.

other side note, I would make it the world rule of BSD that abilities are born out of either trauma or desperation, not inherent at birth. Each character has a past that involves how their ability was born.

Yosano

Ability birth:

I'd change her past to be that she was Mori's "favorite" (yes, in the inappropriate way) from wherever he met her, and he took her along to the war for company along with the other ability users, hoping to traumatize her enough to create some sort of ability birth in her. I'd make Mori, as a villain, someone who does this to children as a job, basically, unethically creating the birth of abilities by giving them trauma. Every mafia member is either an existing ability haver that he's hired to help him or a child he raised and traumatized to become ability users.

While in the war, Yosano would be a sensitive child obviously who hates seeing the mass deaths, and this would be the trigger for her healing ability to be born, because whenever she sees someone dying, she goes mad trying to save them.

Trauma history:

So she has a fairly traumatic backstory already that I think - out of all the characters in BSD - was portrayed pretty well, comparative to the others. However, with her ability to heal, and the wartime past with Mori arc, I would keep her deeply affected by that past event to the point where she's not proud of being a healer, even though it was born because she wanted people to stop dying. Mori soured that when he abused her ability after it was born to the point that she never wanted to see people revive again just to keep fighting.

Character change:

I would change Yosano to be a morbid character obsessed with death (and give her a metal goth-inspired design) who is dedicated to the idea that death is important, inevitable, and should not be prevented. Death is the ultimate rest, and Yosano would see herself as a perversion of nature who would be hindering that process if she were to heal anyone. This worldview would be entirely based on her experience in the war and how she kept soldiers on the battlefield so long that they went mad and only wished for death to escape their hell.

Relationships:

I would give her a close bond with Dazai because of this, seeing as that would make for some interesting partnerships. I would have her be sensitive to suicidal people because it triggers those memories, and she'd be undecided about whether she'd encourage Dazai in his wish to end things or stop him because she's attached to him.

Arc:

Her emotional arc for change (from refusing to heal to embracing her healing abilities for certain exceptions) could involve some sort of innocent NPC character (say, a child) who has a terminal illness and does not want to die. This could change her mind and she would choose to heal them before the end so that they could live a full life, and then decide that she'd use her healing abilities from then on only when death was an uncontrollable circumstance and an unwanted end, and only to prevent it until the character got the death they preferred. IDK, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD.

Dazai

Ability birth:

With Mori established as the prime abuser/villain, Dazai would've been born a normal but sheltered boy, neglected by his parents (leading into the sensitivity of being "invisible" or "not human") who comes across Mori somehow and is lured to run away from home (because grooming, and the fact that he receives attention from Mori and thus believes it's "love", becoming convinced his parents don't love him). Then thrust into the mafia, Mori routinely abuses him to get him to form an ability. The focus on his abuse would be sexual and medical. Mori would be curious to see what would form out of someone with the fear of being invisible being told that they're inhuman and alone. He would isolate Dazai and leave him in dark rooms for hours if he showed emotion, and force him to murder and maim other people (or children) to make him as antisocial as possible. This would create the self-eating void of No Longer Human. It would be both a manifestation of Dazai's loss of self-worth as well as a shield against Mori's use of abilities on him to hurt him.

Character change:

NYEHEHEHEHEHEHE MY FAVORITE! Although I usually write Dazai in my fanfics with these elements, just realistic-ized instead of supernatural-based, here's what I'd do for him in the canon, disregarding all fanon portrayals of him as this sort of character, already: No Longer Human is, by nature, an ability that destroys and makes the abnormal "normal". Dazai would be the ultimate contradiction to the "normal", being a human devoid of emotional expression entirely, himself a void to give only other people normality. Basing him more heavily off of his ability's namesake book (and the protagonist, Yozo), Dazai would be in a constant state of severe depression to the point of antisocial behaviors and sociopathic inclinations. Any attempts to help him escape this would be impossible, as his ability is so inherently parasitical that Dazai is subhuman, only able to "cure" others (by robbing them of their abilities while he is in contact with them). I would focus on him as a moral grey, the unpredictable character in the show who'd be more likely to join the villains at a moments notice and forsake our protagonist.

Trauma history:

His trauma history, other than Mori - namely, Odasaku's death - would be a major part of his character. Because of Oda, who was his first and only companion that didn't care about how strange and inhuman he was, died at what he sees to be his own failures, Dazai would think of himself as incapable of human connection without the threat of annihilating either the humanity of the other person or the literal life of the other person. To try and be more simple (sorry I'm so wordy, I hope it's not confusing), I'd say he'd be paranoid of falling into the "trap" of human connection now (thus leading to the antisocial behavior) and would attempt to push people away because he's convinced the past would repeat itself. "Anything worth having will be lost" and all that.

Current behaviors (in relation to the trauma):

Mr. touch-starved, touch-averse. Since his ability is based on contact, I'd make a Dazai who wears bandages not only to cover the egregious self-harm, but to cover up as much skin as possible, because he's convinced it will help him not touch people. I'd add a dash of reverse-mysophobia in there (mysophobia is the extreme phobia of germs) to add to how he feels as though he contaminates anyone he touches because of NLH. Since I'd keep Oda's last wish in his trauma history, Dazai would be in the ADA, but the complete detachment of his coworkers from emotionally caring for him would make Dazai a machine driven by the necessity to carry out Oda's last wish - to use his ability for good. Since he doesn't want to think about his time with Mori or be alone (even though he believes he deserves to be alone), he is staying with the agency out of duty and escapism from himself. His single use is to be a weapon to stop villains from abusing their powers. God, I'm so sorry, I have WAY too many thoughts about how I'd use this for Dazai, I hope it isn't coming out like the jumbled mess I think it is. Anyway, I'd also make him asexual, monotone-voiced, and brooding. He'd be a walking representation of how sexual trauma in particular can affect someone, making them feel worthless.

Relationships:

As mentioned with my version of Yosano, I think I'd pair them as acquaintances who work well together. Dazai likes anyone who thinks he should die, and his suicide attempts would remain a part of his character as well, just treated with actual weight. He interprets Yosano's love of death as a wish for him to kill himself, so when he has the time, he tries his best, but is notoriously bad at going all the way through. I'd give him one thing hindering him: the insatiable wish to not be lonely before he dies. The wish to find one friend to relive his Oda trauma, except this time with him dying happy instead of the other person, thus leaving them to live their life in peace without his burden.

Arc:

The chance to have his wish fulfilled would come in the form of Atsushi. Atsushi being oblivious, socially unaware, and unbothered by how strange Dazai is - as well as genuinely caring about his wellbeing - would trigger those old feelings about Oda, forcing Dazai to unconsciously seek out a repetition of his trauma. This time, however, he'd succeed. Atsushi would become close to him, and Dazai would protect him, and once it got to the part where he's ready to kill himself to relieve Atsushi of the burden of his existence, Atsushi would stop him and make it known how little of a burden he is, and how much good Atsushi sees in him.

Kenji

Character change:

OKAY THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY HARD. Kenji is such a bright character, and for the sake of contrast if I were to rewrite BSD, I would keep him that way, because a story filled with characters who are all as bleak and depressed as each other makes for a boring portrayal of trauma. Because, if everyone has trauma, NOBODY has trauma. Syndrome reference. They all cancel each other out and become far less important. HOWEVER. In a void, if I were to keep Kenji in line with my ability = trauma, I would give him the archetype of "the smiling goofball with the most crushing backstory who somehow made it through and came out the other side without mental illnesses and a love for humanity" if that....isn't too wordy. Does that make sense? Like Vash the Stampede in Trigun Stampede, basically. You'd have no idea this guy suffered until he told you his backstory while grinning ear to ear in the special side episode that you thought was going to be filler. He'd have the "yeah it was rough but I don't mind! I'm just sad for the other people who got hurt!" type beat and there would be 300 fanfics made about him breaking down because the fandom never got to see him cry in canon.

Ability birth/trauma history:

Kenji's superhuman strength would be born out of the landslides incident in his village. I wouldn't make it too deep, really, just your usual natural disaster trauma. I don't remember anything about Kenji's family if they were mentioned in BSD, but let's just say he lived with his family in the village very happily until the landslide incident. One of his family members got crushed under a falling tree (not dead, just trapped and injured), and Kenji's ability manifested out of the desperation to save them because nobody else could. Family member survived but was left disabled for the rest of their life. Kenji would be triggered in current day if he were to see anyone in life-threatening situations, but he would have the fight response and would be confident in his ability to save them.

Arc:

No arc for him, he's emotionally stable and would be there to assist other characters in their arcs!

Kyouka

I love Kyouka's current character type, so I wouldn't change anything about how she's written in the main storyline, BUT SHE DOES HAVE A WELL OF TRAUMA TO DRAW FROM! This is what I'd do with that:

Ability birth:

First of all, Kyouka's backstory is a bit weird to understand in relation to her ability itself, so I would simplify and change a few details, even though I do like some of the elements of its portrayal in the anime. Second of all, I love the Kouyou (I'm trying hard to spell everyone's names right) mother-daughter relationship going on with her, so I'd first of all have to build up my version of Kouyou.

Kouyou in canon wanted to leave the mafia with a man she admired, so let me harp on that by saying her motivation was that she wanted to have a family with him. Classic. Okay, so she fails in that in canon, the man gets killed, and she holds a grudge against the head of the mafia at that time (not Mori). Once the mafia is taken over by Mori, she was involved with the killing of the former mafia leader, so she becomes enthralled by Mori's sick passion and attached to the children he brings in. This is her own perverse version of a family, the only kind she'll get. She forgives herself for being Mori's enabler by convincing herself that she's the refuge for all the hurting children he brings into the mafia. She is their mother figure. To Chuuya, to Dazai, to Kouyou, etc.

Okay, NOW enter Kyouka, the new target of Mori's current attempt to make yet another ability user. Kouyou wants a little girl to take care of (she hates Elise, we all hate Elise), tired of all the boys. Mori preys on this and uses that motivation to convince Kouyou to kill Kyouka's mother and take the mother's place. This will bond her to the child.

Kouyou is all for this. Kouyou would become Kyouka's mother's assassin.

Once in the mafia, Kyouka is not like the others because she's basically a kidnapping victim instead of a grooming victim lured into the mafia. Stockholm syndrome manifests while Kouyou spoils Kyouka, but Mori is ofc determined to traumatize her. However, they underestimate how much smarter Kyouka is than some of the other children, and she is aware that Kouyou is only being kind to her to try and replace her mother. Her ability manifests as a way to preserve her mother's memory. Her ability would BE a ghost of her mother, basically, here to protect Kyouka from the fakers.

LONG WAY TO SAY THAT BUT HEY, KYOUKA HAD A GOOD BASELINE TO DRAW FROM. I would also tie in the phone by putting that into the trauma of her mother's death. During the assassination, Kyouka was on the phone with her mother, coming home from school. Since her mother was attacked while she was apart from her and she heard her mother's death on the phone, her trauma links directly to that, and Demon Snow would have a consistent phone-voice if it were to speak to represent those last moments of her life.

Current behavior (in relation to the trauma):

In joining the ADA and that whole thing, the one trigger I'd focus on would be that Kyouka refuses to talk on the phone with anybody. Everyone who works with her has to work around this, because she's internally convinced that talking on the phone will 1) cause someone to be compelled by her words (since Demon Snow follows phone commands) and 2) make her afraid that person will somehow meet misfortune if they speak over the phone. She'd retain that superstition.

Arc/relationships:

I would make an episode where Kyouka has to overcome her fear of talking on the phone. She'd still be close with Atsushi mainly but I would probably add a dash of Yosano in there as well, helping Kyouka process death as a whole and especially in relation to her mother. I would present a main conflict where Kyouka could put others in danger if she doesn't use a phone (say, a 911 call), and no other character is there to do it for her. She sees how her superstition doesn't come to pass because the 911 call brings only help and solves the situation, and then could grow when she realizes that she's allowed to be angry for her mother's death, and allowed to keep Demon Snow in honor of her memory, helping instead of harming others. She is also allowed to protect herself from harm. Basically Demon Snow would represent the grieving process in some way.

Atsushi

I really hate this guy in canon, I do apologize for how much I'm going to change him.

Character change:

To start, I'm a huge hater of canon Atsushi (as mentioned), but quite a fan of BEAST Atsushi, in comparison. I would rebuild his character based more on BEAST than BSD. Okay, so it's widely tossed around that Atsushi is a good representation of PTSD (he's not, from an officially diagnosed CPTSD haver, I'm sorry, though if anyone who has PTSD likes his representation, I'm happy for you <3 live in peace). I would shift him to be a representation for survivor's guilt. Why this choice? First of all, my changes would already make almost every character a representation of PTSD because all abilities would be a metaphor for PTSD. I'll get into the changes for his backstory to fit this narrative in a second. But I want to merge his BSD and BEAST personalities together. In BSD, he's always making everything his fault somehow and using self-blame like it's a personality quirk. I want to use this, and mesh it with the more serious personality he has in BEAST. He'd remain an ADA member, but he'd be less... comedically brainless. First of all, autism. Yay!!! I love socially awkward characters if they're not overdone, so I would give Atsushi the "not labelled but definitely autistic" character type. Social cues are hard, he struggles to make genuine connections or "correctly" convey his emotions, all that. This would make him a better match-up for Dazai since they would find some common ground in the emotions department, with Dazai being keen on understanding the way others act socially but not WISHING to participate, and Atsushi just not knowing how to participate "properly". He would feel bad about this as a main character conflict, wishing to assimilate into "normal" society better when he feels so alienated. This would also fit his um....unique? eccentric? Character design and haircut. JUST SAYING. The arc (which I'll talk about in a second) would be about accepting himself the way he is instead of forcing himself to assimilate to society, so don't think I'm making him autistic as some sort of derogatory thing. Not at all.

Trauma history:

So I mentioned I would give him the survivors guilt theme. For his orphanage backstory, I would build up the fact that he was "the weird kid" but he really loved the children he was around and desired to connect with them. The abusive caretakers I would tone down a bit to give some more realism to the abuse, because I find the backstory ridiculous and tacky in canon. I'd take inspiration from real life horror houses and camp counselor stories, especially the psychological manipulation of making kids tattletales on each other, essentially, as a way to protect themselves. If anyone does anything "wrong", the kids can earn themselves a day of rest from the abuse by being the caretaker's "pet" and telling them who transgressed. I'd keep the elements of Atsushi being put in solitary confinement situations (but not chained up), starvation, physical abuse and threats to permanently maim any children that ran away (crushing their legs/ankles etc.).

Because of this, Atsushi's personality would form around the desire to be the savior of all the other children. Tokyo Ghoul ahh sentiments like "it's better to be hurt than to hurt others" would be his motto. Self-sacrificing little guy. He would get himself in trouble just to redirect attention from other, more fragile kids, and thus become the main target of the abusers. However, as what usually happens in reality with hero-minded people in groups like this, the abusers would convince the kids that this was because Atsushi thought he was better than them, so the kids would alienate him since it gets them rewards from their abusers and relief from abuse. If Atsushi wants to take the fall for them, by all means, let him take the fall. Atsushi gets blamed for everything. (This is how it can make his current self-blame behavior make more sense)

Ability birth:

Atsushi's Beast Beneath the Moonlight would birth under the extreme stress of being everyone's punching bag. Atsushi, like any victim of abuse, would be bothered at first by the reaction of anger and hatred he has in his heart when kids blame him and when abusers go after him again and again. Even though a lot of this hatred is self-focused, there's a growing rage against the monsters hurting him, and a need to become a monster to hurt them back. Also, the need to fulfill their accusations that he is the monster. AKA "fine, I'll be the villain you want me to be" arc. Atsushi is abused until he hits a breaking point, finally, and can't take it anymore. He accepts that instead of being hurt constantly, he does want to hurt his abusers back, he does want to kill them, and the Beast is born, a trauma holder that is out of his control. On the day of its birth, it destroys the entire orphanage in a blind rage, and Atsushi blanks out during the attack. The main drive of his current story would be him trying to figure out what actually happened that day after waking up where he does in BSD's first scene.

Current behavior, relationships, & arc:

Since Atsushi would theoretically be the main character, still, his ability would stand as more unique since he has zero control of it. This would be because he refuses to process his trauma in the orphanage, only retaining the survivor's guilt about "a disaster happened and I was the only survivor, but I don't know what the disaster was caused by, only that I blame myself". I would have Fukuzawa, Kyouka, and Dazai be the main accomplices to solving this for him as well as emotionally assisting in his arc to accepting what he did and understanding the nature of his beast. It would be a nice way to explore the rage that survivors of childhood abuse retain for their abusers, and how dangerous it can be if you don't process that trauma in a healthy way. The whole goal would be to keep Atsushi from denying that his childhood abuse hurt him and that it was fucked up. The other characters would be motivated to do this because of the disaster that would come of Atsushi losing himself to his beast and going on a rampage.

This is probably why Atsushi in canon makes me so annoyed, by the way, because he had such POTENTIAL with the metaphors to really represent PTSD and trauma, but failed miserably and instead just repeated a single scene on a loop until I wanted to blow my brains out. "it would've been better if you'd just died in a ditch somewhere" is my winter soldier trigger phrase now.

....

OH MY GOD I'M DONNEEEEEE, THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THE CHANCE TO RAMBLE MY ASS OFF!!! Clearly I love the chance to do it, so if you want to give me any other characters (if I didn't make you regret asking), PLEASE FEEL FREE! I would love to see what rolls out of my head with the right prompts! I spend so much time focusing on Dazai that I've forgotten about how much unused potential lies in the other cast.

THANK YOU AGAIN, I HOPE ANYONE WHO READS THIS FINDS THEMSELVES ENTERTAINED! And if it happens to be of any quality, you have my full permission to use this shit for your own fanfics if you'd like, just credit me if you please! I'd never spend enough time on characters aside from Dazai to actually use these ideas, so I'd be thrilled to see what others come up with. Please oh please write me an AU so I don't have to, I want to indulge....

[risingsuntarot]

1--2

3

What are you currently not seeing ?

My lord I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long I kinda jus felt so unmotivated and kinda went hermit mode for quite a while so I apologize for my absence!! Anyways I wanted to make a come back with a reading regarding being trapped, blinded or stuck on something that is unfortunately, hindering your process ;+(

Also * will indicate a reversal from here on out also only three piles because I wanted to get this out ASAP !!

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Pile 1

---Cards pulled---

5 of Coins/4 of Wands*/The magician

3 of coins*/The Moon

---Clarification---

9 of coins/9 of Swords/The hierophant

Ace of wands/3 of wands

There is most likely a financial or material issue happening, I heard "just enough to get by"

It looks like you lack in what you currently need as well? But despite this you are content or try to come off that way

Maybe you just moved into your own apartment recently? Or now have to pay rent or something along those lines

A new responsibility within your family/home life too

There's a lack of confidence here especially within self and home life

Something or someone in your home isn't making you feel quite safe? Or you get nightmares about them (if this is the case please seek help!!) that might be a very specific message BUT Could also be ready as you may be dealing with flashbacks at this time due to financial or material loss !! Maybe you grew up in poverty or an unstable home? Or your parents/caregivers weren't able to provide necessities?

It looks like with the magician and the hierophant there is a gift on the horizon or a very promising belief or like system? Maybe a change in routine or spending habits and thinking will help tremendously

I see that on your end for some your guides are frustrated with your lack of effort and motivation to make your thousands of ideas a reality

They absolutely love your creativity tho don't get me wrong

Maybe you have a hard time focusing right now and have many great ideas to put into place but lack motivation or resources as well so this leads to lack of movement or commitment

Sadness, restless emotions and late sleepless nights are prominent here, someone may deal with insomnia here but y'all sleep schedule is wack (same tho)

Feeling blocked and frustrated >:+(

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

Summer - "Bask in Joy and Light"

"Rise up, open your wings and shine. Bring your projects and plans into into the light, into manifestation" as soon as I opened the guidebook lil

DEADASS do that's just that, start off easy with a lobes hobby, draw something new or listen to a new genre, learn that new music sheet that has been challenging you or even get into a new type of skill to re motivate you !!

This also indicates summer may be your time of change!! New opportunities, new memories maybe even knew people

I feel like this is the perfect time to go outside, bask in sunlight and enjoy a nearby park or go on a nature hike, try meeting new people at libraries, bars or events even book clubs?

I'm getting a message to connect more with water so swimming or maybe even kayaking?

The big message here is try something n e w but I'm also being told to "loosen up" I'm tensing up a lot with this reading

Bumble bees maybe significant to someone :+) or honeycombs cereal? Lmao honey and bee related things here

---Channeled Songs---

Ego brain - SOAD

"You see my pain is real

Watch my world dissolve

And pretend that none of us see the fall

As I turned to sand

You took me by the hand

And declared, that love prevails over all"

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Pile 2

---Cards pulled---

Temperance/9 of Wands/Ace of cups*

Knight of Coins/6 of Wands

---Clarification---

5 of Coins/The Lovers*/8 of Coins

The Moon/Queen of Wands

Okay so there's a sense for reluctance from this pile tbh like to fully acknowledge the truth

I keep wanting to say what happened so you may be being asked this question a lot

For one there is guilt over either healing and moving on or from not healing and moving on from a difficult situation but for most it's a romantic connection

I feel like voices were silenced, and you were constantly fighting for you right to be heard, seen or acknowledged fairly

It was a toxic dynamic that you still look back on to this day but almost feel indifferent but it seems it's just suppressed emotions and memories that you have yet to actually acknowledge

You seem to be a BIT too logical with what happened, like everything was supposed to be this way even this you didn't at all anticipate it if that makes sense

Like you knew what it was exactly, no bs and people tried convincing you otherwise

It looks like someone may come to you to talk about what happened although you may be reluctant to actually open up and speak on your side or even acknowledge that it hurts

It's like you go on about your day with a heavy rain cloud over your head and this person can see :+(

it maybe a friend to help you through this for some possibly offering you a type of hype sesh or even help you glow up a bit even if it's confidence lol

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

Wolf- "Take care of your needs"

I feel like you definitely need rest here, this card says "Do everything you need to do to be at your best, Then move beyond your fears and limitations"

it feels like a state of I can FINALLY get some rest from running and running and running

You've been in survival mode for so long or you just genuinely feel exhausted from the expectations around you or the trauma in your past

Know that's it's okay to just chill out and it's okay to be on your own for a while it's all part of the process, in fact I believe your guides are asking you to spend time with yourself more

Self care and YouTube days are recommend :+))

---Channeled Songs---

Around the fur - Deftones

"Please don't fuck around and die like this

'Cause I love her"

Brand new numb - Motionless in white

"All of my flaws, I wear 'em with honor

A purple heartbreak for all we've suffered"

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

Pile 3

---Cards pulled---

The Hierophant*/King of cups/4 of Swords

Wheel of fortune/5 of wands*

---Clarification---

Ace of Swords*/5 of Swords/Queen of Coins

The Hermit*/Queen of Cups

This may be a more masculine in terms of energy for this pile but I'll still read the same

So it seems there was a hypocrisy or an act that went against your morals and you were quick to act and deliver your opinion... "sharply"

You stood your ground and what you believed in in your heart despite the haters lol, and despite the arguments or how many people you had to leave behind something about conflict here

Although the way you did this was quite nonchalantly and someone was not a fan I'm picking up on black hair and green for the description for some reason

This person tends to be the center of attention? Or is very attractive, or maybe even a bit out of place almost ? But you not caring is pissing them off

I see there's gonna be change to the situation but someone may have to trail off onto their own path :+( a bit shunned almost but it's a high probability it's this other person

It's possible someone with the same morals and values as you is helping the conflict "die out" but not caring or almost standing in solidarity

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

High Priest - "Intend and Create"

"Recognize you have the power to change you life. Face your fear and align with the light"

Kind of a plain message but with this card I am getting that you can literally move anyway you want with this and just move on

It seems your intentions were nothing but pure in the end so no Karma was ever delivered to you

How unfortunate for the other person :+pp

It also seems some may follow in your path a bit here but spirits asking you to reach out to someone like a teacher for further guidance if you feel stuck

---Channeled Songs---

Riptide - Grandson

"I've tried getting better, did all of the twelve steps

Whoever would'a thought? Whoever could've guessed?"

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-

[celticcrossanon]

People wonder why she has a long recovery time and think it is something worse, but imo she also just wants mentally a break and recover there too.

Hi Nonny,

From my memory the recovery time is normal for abdominal surgery that is not keyhole surgery. It takes a surprising amount of time for all those muscles to heal up again, and you can't do much while they are healing as it hinders the healing process (because we use those abdominal muscles in just about everything we do). so 10 weeks off work (2 weeks in hospital plus 8 weeks recover y time) seems normal to me.

I'm more concerned about how Prince William is going to cope. We all know what husbands are like when the woman of the house is incapacitated in any way.

[creepylunaofmars]

At this point Kingpin is a canon yandere

Especially towards Vanessa and Matt

Vanessa

Willing to give up his entire empire for her, going so far as to call himself her slave.

When she was presumed dead even bringing her up around Fisk could earn you a beating.

Had Cloak and Dagger hounded for god knows how long so that he could kidnap Dagger to use her to heal Vanessa when she was found.

Had an expert therapist's wife kidnapped so that the therapist would give Vanessa the best treatment under the pressure of his wife's safety.

Broke from Typhoid Mary the moment he was reminded of Vanessa.

Tricked old Wolverine into retrieving a USB drive from one of Fisk's enemies, killing said enemy in the process. Said USB stick contained pictured of Vanessa.

Was willing to be with Vanessa when she was turned into a zombie sent to kill him.

Has made at least one deal with a demon to bring her back.

The Spiderverse movies were kicked off by him looking to kidnap another version of Vanessa and Richard (but mostly Vanessa, the artbook makes it clear that Vanessa was his priority.)

Matt

WHOA BOY. DID THE YANDERE COME OUT FULL FORCE FOR MATT. Part of it feels like since Matt came around right when Vanessa "died" Fisk shifted and amplified that obsessive energy onto Matt, is "adversarial yandere" a thing?

Took a child like glee obsessively picking apart Matt's life, like it was his whole reason for living for a good while. "He is the Kingpin-- and Matthew Murdock has become the light of his days."

When Matt was saved by the love of Karen Page Fisk specifically picked Typhoid Mary to seduce Matt and destroy his relationship with Karen.

Typhoid then proceeded to accuse Fisk of being in love with Matt when he got mad that she tried to kill Matt. Fisk was annoyed but didn't try to deny it.

When he teamed up with Dr. Doom Doom was concerned with Punisher, the man looking to kill any criminal he came across including them, but Fisk dismissed him as Daredevil was his top priority.

At least one of his men has stated his obsession with Daredevil has hindered plans before.

When Karen Page was framed for murder Fisk had a bought off juror incapacitated so she wouldn't be found guilty. When asked why by Matt Fisk says, and I quote, "Someone was Playing in my sandbox... and no one gets to break you but me."

Has told Matt that they need each other in multiple universes.

Has sat by himself brooding mentally chanting Matt's name at least twice.

Recorded every conversation they have had in his office since he found out Matt was the Daredevil.

Knows things about Matt that even Matt doesn't know. Like about Matt's mom and the license plate of the truck responsible for Matt's blindness.

Has a gallery in his home dedicated to high art depicting the Daredevil being tortured and killed in many, and in at least one case provocative, ways which he goes into to relax. HE LEADS MATT IN THERE KNOWING MATT CAN'T SEE WHATS ON THE CANVASES/AT LEAST ONE VASE.

Before he knew Daredevil was Matt and thus blind he found out the Daredevil couldn't fight well in snow (throws off the radar sense). He talked about how he would keep finding Daredevil's weaknesses, keeping taking things/people from him and again I quote "Until finally, its just the two of us. And Then I will take him in these two hands and he will die."

When Daredevil is forced to go into hiding during Fisk's mayoral days and someone else starts wearing the mask Fisk knows immediately its not the original Daredevil. How? "...It is not him. I know it because... I feel nothing." You heard it right Fisk knew it wasn't Matt because the copycat didn't get any sort of feeling out of him.

When Fisk captures the Purple Man to use his mind control abilities he tries to frame it as a way to get dissidents under control but Purple Man calls him out. "This is about your ACHILLES' HEEL. This is about Daredevil. He's got you riled up." Even other villains know how weird he is about the Daredevil.

[slightlyhopefulromantic]

been thinking about doing a class swap for a week or so, but i couldnt think of anything for prudence - until party fowl, of course, where oxventure gave an alternative class to me XD i might come back to these and do lines and color, but for now, just some sketches :]

some extra rambling under the cut about my thought process for all of these:

corazón was a pretty easy choice, considering he's already in a band and loves to charisma his way out of things, haha. he's a little less flashy than canon corazón since being a bard gets him plenty of attention as is LOL so he dresses more plainly. he puts up a display of being very cheerful and a friend to all, but this is very much a display - he still is corazón, with all of his brooding and jealousy, which led to him getting the rest of his pirate crew cursed, of course. though he was not initially captain of the joyful damnation, he took control of it after the incident of the cursehole, and is slightly prone to going on rants about "oh, they never took old CORAZÓN seriously, but see who isn't cursed now!" (<- was the one who got them cursed)

prudence was still raised by cyrus the hermit, but when she decided to follow cthulhu instead of zargon, she left behind the life of a warlock entirely. she still follows cthulhu, hence the evil-looking octopus tattoo on her shoulder, but this is purely a religious thing and does not grant her power. she's path of the beast because of course she is, she's a werebear. she carries an axe. she does not use said axe when she can just claw wildly or whip her tail around, but she definitely carries it!

dob was my favorite to draw. he's a pretty boy :] he has the most different backstory - he still got rabies, but an archfey took pity on him after suzette left to find a cure and gifted him with a fruit from feywilds to cure him. he spent some time in the feywilds as he recovered and was only returned to geth quite a few years later, and promptly set off on a quest to find his lost sister. this was, of course, a way for the fey to lay claim over him and now he's in a deal that greatly hinders his life, but he likes looking on the bright side of things! everyone thinks he smells lovely and comforting and he doesn't even have to wash himself for it to happen! awesome!

egbert is incredibly similar to canon. he has a big shield, hits people with his mace, and he's the religion guy (does not do anything with this). when he left the noble order of le dragon d'or, he was called to follow la vache mauve and was bidden to swap his class to cleric. he is not exceptionally good at the healing side of being cleric, but luckily he's light domain, so he can just blast people with all sorts of fire and radiant spells

merilwen was probably the hardest for me to sort out, since she is so based in being a druid and going with ranger seemed too easy (and also was already given to dob, lol). the vision of her riding on a bear took over though, so i went for cavalier so she could have advantage with mounted combat! i imagine that she would very rarely get to do this, but she loves that she has the ability to, and she definitely has an unnecessarily high animal handling score

[dira333]

Congrats on finishing Passing Peonies! As you could probably tell from my tags, I'm completely enthralled with it!

I was wondering if you'd considered what Shigaraki would be doing post war? This isn't necessarily a request for the follower milestone (though I do plan on sending in a request or two after I've gathered my thoughts). I was just curious if you'd had any plans regarding him in that universe.

Thank you for asking! I do know what Shigaraki is doing in the Passing Peonies world but I didn't want to convolute the story with too many people to focus on. So glad that I get to talk about it!

Deku managed to defeat All for One and Shigaraki by doing what he does best - get through to Shigaraki and convince him of the power of Friendship. Without Deku's example, Shouto might not have been so successful with Touya.

Not everyone from the League of Villains wanted to change, because not all of them wanted to be heard and understood in the first place.

The Public demanded harsh punishments but Allmight, coupled with Deku "the world-saver" and his friends, demanded a change in the system. Touya, Toga, Shigaraki, Spinner, Kurogiri... They were taken in for physical and psychological therapy. But, and that was important... They were not allowed to meet each other at first. They could ask questions about each other if they wanted to, but people were afraid that it would pull them down and hinder their healing if they were confronted with people from their past.

That did not work as well as they thought they would. Kurogiri almost broke out of the hospital he was in because no one would tell him where Shigaraki was held and if he was still alive.

Toga's mental health improved significantly once she had regular contact with Touya and Spinner was moved to the same hospital as Kurogiri and Shigaraki in an attempt to benefit Shigaraki's recovery.

Touya is the first to actually enter the rehabilitation program of all the villains, because he has the biggest support system: his whole family, plus Hawks.

Toga is second, because she has Touya to rely on, as well as Ochako who never misses their weekly trips to get coffee or try on cute clothes.

Kurogiri could have been the first but he will not leave Shigaraki's side. Him, Spinner and Shigaraki are living in a remodeled three bedroom apartment in a hospital wing.

Spinner is retaking highschool classes and is thinking about working for a mechanic as soon as he's allowed to start rehabilitation - his therapist is still a bit concerned with his obsession with Stain.

Kurogiri has weekly cooking classes with Present Mic and Aizawa which are doing nothing for his memory but they have gotten close.

And finally, we have Shigaraki.

After two years in therapy - at the end of Passing Peonies - he's doing a lot better. He wears gloves all of the time even though he's wearing quirk cancelling anklets and there are days where Kurogiri has to hang blankets over all the mirrors because Shigaraki doesn't want to see himself but he's doing better.

Kurogiri has taught him how to cook and he's making a fantastic fried rice with egg on top whenever Deku comes over (about once a week). Allmight visits him daily - he's at the hospital anyway, so why not? - and some days they spend by reading books together or Shigaraki explaining Memes to Allmight who has to peer at his phone through reading glasses like the old man he is.

Maybe in a year or so he might be able to start the rehabilitation process himself but he's not thinking about that now. He's just trying to get better, one day after the other, and not think too much about the future ahead.

[unia102]

Me when I’m big brain.

So inspiration to @crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington for their Ethan work and @granola-slut-quet for bouncing this idea with me!!

So an Ethan and Rebecca team up fan game. Hear me out: Rebecca is sent out to study and collect samples of this new virus going around the markets and in true RE fashion, it goes horribly wrong as the sample she gets, mutates and takes over her only form of transportation, forcing her to flee into the woods of Europe. Basically all of her supplies are lost and all she has is a knife, and a radio that can’t pick up shit. Eventually through the will of god she finds an old hideout black market traders were using, giving light exposition on the new virus and running into a a ‘survivor’. It’s Ethan. He’s of course presumed dead after RE8, only surviving through sheer stubbornness and my word. He’s trying to get back home making up a story of being kidnapped and ‘infected’ after hearing Rebecca researches this.

There’s two big sections: the Rebecca section where she’s hunting down ingredients and tools to try to make a serum for Ethan

And Ethan sections where he’s trying to carve a path home, while trying to single handedly take down every single cell this corner of the world in order to help Rebecca.

Rebecca sections are your classic RE fare, item management, guns, puzzles, and crafting. She has the ability to heal herself more and do puzzles that involve more biomedical processes. Don’t quote me on this. She’d have more of your classic tank controls, while Ethan is his typical 1st person POV gameplay.

Ethan on the other hand deals with more Shadow of Rose DLC where he can use his mold powers to get through obstacles and enemies. The downside is if you use this too much the mold takes over you and it’s a game over. So you have to take it slow and steady still and balance between using a gun that’s weaker but won’t KO you, or a much more powerful mold attack but constant use without any items to reduce how molded you are, will result in a KO. The more you use Ethan’s mold powers the more visibly moldy you get: mold on the edge of the screen, your pants and grunts are replaced with growls and hisses, occasionally you’ll run on all fours. You’ll also look visibly different in cutscenes and Rebecca will react accordingly to this. Such as concern for him being more animalistic than human, and removal of certain scenes

The syringes used to curtail the mold is something that’s used by the black market traders to hinder the molds progress during transport but it never was a solution and that’s why Ethan was in the area, he was looking for some as his mold is almost constantly growing and threatening to take over.

As quoted by granola slut, there are boxes where you can drop supplies, so when you go over the area again as the other character, or in a different area, you can retrieve these supplies and balance out the items you have. This also gives more of a mechanical interaction with the dynamic duo to endear the player to their dynamic. ((I’m very bitter about RE7’s way of handling Mia))

During cutscenes there is their banter and just generally call backs to older games. For example a scene talking about their ‘hard head friend of gold’ is really just them talking about Chris and neither of them knowing. As well as chances to trade collectibles and get your achievement hunter on.

So when the big reveal that Ethan has actually been molded for a while and is lying to Rebecca about everything? Well fuck that break up!! Rebecca doubles down and holds Ethan because that man has been through a lot and he just wants to live a normal life and she respects that. They’re in this together and they care for each other. They are brother and sister and you can’t stop me.

Either way

At the end the big but predictable reveal that Ethan can’t be cured comes up, and they take down the headquarters of the local ring that’s been causing them problems. Rebecca manages to get a rescue but Ethan despite wanting nothing more than to see Rose, also really doesn’t want to be studied like a bug. Rebecca pulls out her girl boss powers and manages to get Chris to stand down and let Ethan live his life. His condition is manageable and he’s no less of an intelligent and lovely being than any other person. So Chris is strong armed into letting Ethan live his life and it’s our first happily ever after with and RE series in a bit because holy hell they need this

:)

[diamondcitydarlin]

speaking more izzy rights into being here as I turn him around in my head like a rotisserie chicken but as I said in an earlier post, the crew coming around for him in his time of need was healing for them- not because they had to get over some hatred hurdle that literally only certain members of the audience have had to this point, not because it's a situation of them being the better people than him or something, but simply because they all took pity on him and had to work together to help him. that act of working together for Izzy's sake (because GASP they already like him in their way) is what finally brings both crews together and helps them over their trust issue hurdles WITH EACH OTHER. it's really a misread of the situation to say that Izzy is the hurdle here- he's absolutely not. The whole reason his situation is able to unite the crew is because the one thing they all have in common at that point is inherent care and/or sympathy for him. if any of them ever really hated him to the point that certain members of the audience do than this whole thing wouldn't have worked- most likely they would have just shrugged at his being at rock bottom and continued trying to kill each other, or maybe some of them from the Revenge who have already accepted him fully ("he's a dick, but he's our dick") would have argued with the ones that hated him and that would have just intensified things. they unite because, like it or not, they all like and care for him already. Like I get for some of yall he is the devil incarnate and deserving of nothing better than the death Stede dreamed up for him, but that isn't really the reality of the narrative and this olympic gymnastics performance of trying to project those feelings on the characters is hindering any attempt at objective media literacy. like i really want to take some of these metas seriously until it gets to the point that the OP is trying to make the narrative line up with their own prejudices of his character ("everyone hated him until I didn't" basically like??) and getting every motive wrong in the process. like sorry you're not getting the izzy retribution torture porn you thought you would be I guess, but the hatred was in your head. the punishment you feel he deserves was IN YOUR HEAD. it's not real and it never was, sorry babes

[actualbird]

life things: so i just got back from the dentist awhile ago for the 2nd visit for a root canal and i am in Hell. it didn't hurt very much (but it did hurt a bit and ow ow ow) but nonetheless i am in Hell because while im undergoing the arduous process of these several visits for the root canal (i have a 3rd visit later on saturday then after that i can finally get the tooth crown) i am advised to 1) NOT drink hot coffee because that might aggravate the root canal'd site and 2) i have to LESSEN smoking because that in general hinders the root canal from healing.

hot coffee and smoking are the TWO THINGS I NEED TO STAY SANE, without them you MUST know that i am jittery and clawing at the fucking walls, rattling the bars of my CAGE

(user is being overdramatic, he knows, but this is his blog so he can complain about whatever he wants. user wants to curl up and howl like an injured dog)

[spurgie-cousin]

Hi spurgie. I don't know if you remember me, but I was the anon from 2 years ago who had their first kiss at 25 and subsequently started dating him after. Well, last night he broke up with me, and I just don't know what to do. I feel like it came out of nowhere, but he feels he drifted too far apart from me. This was my first relationship, and it might sound naive but I truly thought it was forever. I know I shouldn't but I feel stupid to think someone could love me for the rest of my life. I still love him so much. What's worse is he was so kind and gentle about it. I wish he wasn't such a great person. I wish I could hate him but I don't. We still wanna be friends, and we share the same friend group, but it's gonna be really hard. I don't want him out of my life but I'm really hurting right now. I know I shouldn't hold onto hope that we might get back together in the future, but right now I can't see myself with anyone else (again, naive, I know). Sorry for the ramble, I just don't know who to turn to, and you've always been so kind.

Aw well first, I'm so sorry ❤️ breakups are always hard but the first one always hurts especially bad. I can't emphasize enough how normal those feelings you've described are though, they're not naive at all. Thinking about past breakups I've been through or sat with others through, it's big grief for a while, combined with that hopeless "I don't ever want to be with anyone else/no one else will ever be as good as them" feeling, combined with fighting the adjustment to someone's role in your life changing, and it can be a rough ride ngl. I know that sounds daunting, but it did help me a little in the moment to know many, many other people have felt exactly how I felt at the time bc when you're in the thick of it, it can feel very lonely and isolating, so I mention it just in case it's also helpful for you to know that.

My best advice for the first couple of days is just to ride it out and feel whatever it is your feeling at the moment, because it is kind of a grieving process and like grieving you need to get the big feelings out to be able to process it. Keeping your mind busy is also really helpful, it's ok to wallow for a while but if you get the chance to do something pleasant, or even just sit with someone instead of being alone, I found that super helpful. My last big breakup I spent a full 2 weeks at my parents house and in my free time I just sat with them (and cried on them lol a LOT) watched movies, played board games, etc. Even just having a conversation on the phone when the feelings start bubbling up again can be very cathartic.

Right now it might feel like you will never feel better, or never find anyone again (or want to), but that's just part of the grief and as impossible as it might sound, that starts to fade faster than you think it will. I know you mentioned you want to stay friends and I don't think that's impossible but it's probably a good idea to avoid seeing them just for the time being, because that can be like picking at a scab on a healing wound y'know? It can be confusing and stressful and hinder the healing process, at least in my experience. Same for communicating.

But yea I promise it gets better ❤️ this relationship not working out does not mean you are impossible to love forever at all, it just means that this wasn't the right person to do it, most of us just need to do some trial and error before we find that person. And tbh I think people who have been through trial and error can ultimately end up in healthier relationships, because experience makes you learn more about yourself/what you are looking for in a person. Be kind to yourself for now ❤️ this too shall pass, it will be ok.

[dropintomanga]

Where's the Proper Place to Find Yourself?

For anyone who has read Akane-banashi recently, this is arguably one of the best developments of the story in a series full of great ones.

Our heroine, Akane Ousaki/Arakawa, decides to enter the Arakawa School selection event, a big major rakugo event that would place her among the very best prospects in the rakugo world if won. She encounters past rakugo rivals that she totally blew past by in the series' first "tournament arc." However, this time around, Akane loses by a slim margin to one of those rivals - only due to not appealing to the internet audience as the event was also streamed live to appeal to a newer generation of rakugo fans.

The premise of Akane-banashi is about Akane trying to avenge her father's fall from grace in the world of rakugo by making it as a professional herself. She tried to use his trademark rakugo story in order to prove a point to the world that her father knew what he was doing. However, as quoted by Kaisei Arakawa, a peer/rival that Akane aspires to be like, the public stage was probably not the best place to deal with personal emotions that can hinder you.

While it's great to partake in activities for personal development, they can't always heal any past pain you have. Fun activities can become distractions from actual responsibilities. Another thing to note is when you start to realize how good you are in an activity and get praise for it, you can get caught up in trying to prove that your way might be the best in front of other people who won't necessarily feel the same way.

Being right doesn't mean you're actually smart or that you achieved something remarkable. It just means you made a valid point that might apply to yourself and a few people and nothing more.

It's very hard to do your best at something when you're consumed with trying to prove a point. While Akane definitely got a lot of help and encouragement from the people around her to do her story, she didn't seem to take moments to self-reflect over whether the pain she felt about her father was clouding her judgment a bit. Every one of her rivals were truly thinking about how to impress the audience except her.

There's a line in this arc that sums it best.

"But when feelings get too strong, they can become shackles that hold you down."

It's not fun when personal grief/pain cross over into the other aspects of your life. I feel like Akane was always hanging around her peers and teachers a bit too much to not fully come to terms with her thoughts. I recently felt that way not too long ago and I needed to take a step back to fully process my thoughts.

The proper place to search for yourself is through solitude, moments of stillness, and connecting yourself with the inner child that feels hurt. A lot of us carry weight from experiences during childhood and they have a big effect on how we behave as we get older. This happens with Akane and I think it's refreshing to see because I feel like not enough people discuss how childhood experiences affect/shapes mental health.

The grandest stage you should try to stand out on first and foremost will always be yourself.

[theimperiumchronicles]

Happy WBW! In honor of the pain bestowed upon me by the Blood Goddess 🙃, what is your world like in relation to sicknesses, injuries, and other afflictions? Feel free to discuss the medical system or how jobs/institutions respond, or even how individual characters feel!

Hello, my lovely Tori!

I am going to hit on a few of my world in today's answer, so I hope you have some potions, a snack, even a nice warm blanket to cuddle up in if you're in the Northern Hemisphere...or are basking in the warmth if you're in the Southern. This is gonna be long, babes!

@theimperiumchronicles

On Earth, well...it's Earth, so look around...it fucking SUCKS ASS!! Nowhere is perfect and there is suffering everywhere. Some of the supernatural creatures try to help, but much like Star Trek has the Prime Directive, they try not to get too involved and fuck things up for them all. The more they meddle, the more chance that humans will figure out that the paranormal and supernatural are real...and well...you remember the witch trials right?!

In most other realms, injuries naturally heal on their own. The speed depends on the type of being that is injured, how bad the injury is, and how they were injured. There are some beings who are gifted with healing abilities that can help speed up this process. For instance Abriella is a skilled healer, as is Cruz, and Adriel. When there are battle injuries, they help those affected. Arch can concoct healing potions and poultices as well.

Regarding sickness, there is none like a virus. Bacteria is little. This is because of the self healing nature of the beings. If they were to get something like a cold, their self healing would defeat it before they were to feel it. Through evolution in the realms, what humans view ad disease has been defeated.

Now poisoning, that is another matter. There are many plants that are poisonous, as well as venomous animals. How those are treated depends on what plant/animal poisoned the being, the type of being, and the reaction of the being. Sometimes healers are able to counteract the poison/venom, sometimes a mage will have to step in with a concoction.

Most realms have some form of hospital, but they aren't like those on Earth. They are smaller because most beings can heal themselves, so only those in dire need of healing would go to one. If you think back to the Victorian times when they had the respite spas that were more like vacations, that is what they are like. They are plush, comfortable, and the patient is taken care of very well. The healers pay good attention to them, they are fed well, and they get lots of fresh air and sunshine because for most beings, that DOES help. Most of the healing centers have a ward that is always sunny and warm, cast by an elemental, so that the patients can get that even when winter outside.

Now, for the touchy subject - disabilities. It is up to the being. Some beings go to healers and deities to have them resolved. Some get prosthetics/aids/helpers to assist them. Others find ways to cope/deal/work with their disabilities so that they do not hinder their life. There are those in most realms that have some kind of disability. For instance there are those in the Imperium army who have lost eyes, ears, limbs, and fingers in battle. Some have had them regrown, others have prosthetics, others have learned to live with the missing body part and still are able to serve ins some capacity.

@devil-in-the-details-ay

Like in Imperium, the non human beings self heal. Because we are dealing with different belief pantheons of human religions, there really isn't an organized healthcare system as such. If there are confrontations or battles, they can heal each other if they are gravely wounded. There aren't diseases, but they can appear "sick" if they are badly wounded and are taking some time to heal. Most of the characters are gods (both greater and lesser), demi-gods, and beings that serve the gods. There will be some preternatural, supernatural, and paranormal beings thrown in for some spice, but again there isn't really an organized medical system for them. There are healers they go to if needed. Astaroth IS DEATH. He can kill (including totally obliterating the essence of the spirit so there is no afterlife at all), he can resurrect, he can heal anything. Yara is going to have some pretty nifty powers as well, and killing is one of them.

@battlegroundofdreams

Here things work a little differently. Most of what I'm going to be covering is in the legion of dream warriors and assassins. They do have a sick bay/hospital ward. They can sustain injuries in and out of the dreams. What they experience in the dream does affect them outside the dream, but not as extreme. The only exception is death, you die in the dream world, you are dead. There are pathogens similar to human diseases, and those are handled by the sick bay/hospital ward in the legion. There are vaccines for things. They do have healers as well who are more like our "doc in a box" type of urgent care centers who come to the warriors after they come out of the dreams to see if there are minor injuries that they haven't been able to mend on one another. The warriors are taught basic medic training, similar to EMT.

@bendingthelaws @behindthesemasks @the-andromeda-effect @magical-mistakes-vm Bayou Witches (which will have a page soon) - these are all based in our reality-ish in our world, so they are all what is in reality

@tapperhet-em and @princess-of-thieves-id are set in worlds not to unlike ours. While they are fantasy kingdoms, there are not the supernatural overtones of Imperium or the other WIPs where the main characters are not human. All the characters here are human. They are injured like humans, get sick like humans, etc. The medical realm is kind of like rural healthcare. There are private doctors for the wealthy, which they all are, so they wouldn't have much exposure to public health care. That will change a bit since they are on the run. However, with how the story is looking to go they are going to stick with private as much as possible to keep Meeri hidden. There is some magic, mages, and alchemy. However, medicine isn't much different than what we are used to, it's just supplemented with the mystical as well.

@whileyouwait-dm

Since this all takes place in Hell, you're pretty much SOL if you need help....UNLESS you're special to Djall. And, lucky for Miriana, she will be. Djall has the ONLY healer in the entirity of Hell. So, that is the healthcare. Of course beings there can get injured, but they better hope that they heal before something else decides to snack on them or abuse them more, because unless they have Djall's favor, they aren't getting any help. There is no real illness, but like Imperium, there are poisons and venomous creatures that reside there. Djall's healer is adept at taking care of that. Djall might have a few tricks up his sleeve as well. He is the Lord Of Hell after all.

@sehnsuchtrising

I'm still working on this one, I'll be honest. I've gotten one chapter written and the damn blorbos have made me rewrite it four times and none of them are remotely the same. Katerina is a Sorceress, so she can heal the members of the party...that's all I got right now. *holds up hands and shrugs*

Sooooooo.....there you go...I think...until someone decides to change it. LOL

@saltysupercomputer @blind-the-winds @aziz-reads @pheita @writingmaidenwarrior @thebejeweledwatercat @dreaminggoblin @korblez @toribookworm22 @spookyceph

[beanie-beebo]

For Young Hopeless/suicidal folk

Stop scrolling for a second and please just hear me out. I know you're searching for a way out or for help if you've come across this. Something compelled me to share this tidbit.

I'm in my mid twenties and when I tell you I've had a rough life my whole life, it's an understatement. I'll spare the details, but this is just so you know where I come from too. When I say it took literal miracles for me to be alive and kicking, i mean it.

As I grew closer to my twenties, as I went through learning therapy, failed jobs, the usual. It seemed to get easier, but something just wasn't *clicking*. I was still missing something, something that would be the final piece for my healing journey.

One day, out of literal nowhere, it clicked. *Everything* I've ever went through and suffered through began to literally come together like a puzzle.

I account it to natural aging and learning more about myself. But it was the largest moment of clarity I ever had. All thanks to a couple tiktoks suggesting autism and what that looked like in various different people.

My whole life was so hard *because the last piece was my autism*. I wasn't being treated for that alongside everything else, so naturally I wasn't getting the proper skills to function where the therapists kept running into dead ends.

But it didn't stop there. It was like something turned on. I was thinking of ways to help myself, to advocate and get the support I needed, a possible way *out* of all of this.

What I'm trying to get at is: yes everyone's story and journey look different, but sometimes all it takes is one or two things for everything to finally make sense.

Dont get it wrong, I'm still learning and going through a LOT. But I don't want to die anymore. I want to find a way out, because there is hope. I just needed to change my perspective. And maybe you do too.

There are studies that show our brains make the final huge transition to maturing between 23-25. And that ND individuals it usually can be 25-early 30s.

That moment that clicked, I truly think that's what part of that was for me. My brain finally transitioned into adulthood. I could think clearer and things just all started to *make sense*. That I didn't have to stay where I was, I didn't have to suffer. Regardless of the state of the world, I can make anything happen. Even if I'm disabled, I have tools to advocate, get help at my fingertips, take logical (that may seem unlogical to some) unwalked paths to more comfortable, stable roads. *I didn't have to end it to have the emotions and life I wanted*

If you feel therapy isn't working for you, it isn't you. Maybe it's the wrong type of therapy, maybe your brain needs time to process and mature to have things sink in, maybe you need a medication add on or change. Maybe you have underlying neurological issues that are hindering therapy *further* for you.

Dont give up. I know it seems easier that way. Until you have the energy to fight again, find something to hang onto. Your favorite characters, TV shows, your pets, friends/family, hobbies, anything literally at all.

If you're still here, you're stronger than you realize. To live through issues and still continue, even if you feel like you can't or don't want to? You're a god/goddess, a survivor, a WARRIOR.

This world needs you, and you will love what you find in small nooks, waiting for you.

You are enough, you are loved, you can DO this. I'm proud of you.

Yes even if we haven't met, yes even if we aren't on good terms for whatever reason. If this post found you, it was for a reason.

Keep going beautiful/handsome ♥ /platonic